#so apparently the internet doesn't think I exist as a real person

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

So my older sister has decided to do that thing where you google your own name to see what information about yourself is on the internet up for grabs by information brokers and guess what?

As far as the internet is concerned I don't actually exist as anything beyond being one of my sister's aliases.

Though my sister technically has two entries on this website.

The one under our merged identity (her first name, my middle name, my last name which is also her maiden name), which is also seemingly merged with a random 3rd women who neither of us know. Which also has my birthday listed, but has no known relatives or associates listed (because that person doesn't exist).

Then another under her current name, which changed when she got married. Which fails to list her birthday or phone number, but does have her connected to various other people. Like her husband's family are all listed as relatives, but our mom is just listed as someone she might know.

Though we think there's still some influence of the random 3rd women who's part of the other entry, because she's also listed as knowing or being related to a bunch of people that neither of us know.

Current theory is that the weird jankey amalgam of 3 different women identity profile is actually supposed to be me.

I think me and her (original) online identities got merged when Google bought Youtube.

At e point before the merger, I had let her use my yahoo to sign up for a Youtube account, after she lost the password to her previous account. Even though I already had an account using that same yahoo (which I knew was weird and broken to be able to do that in the first place).

After the merger our two separate Youtube accounts got merged because they were using the same email address. Specifically my account got cannibalized by her account more or less, because I wasn't able to access my original Youtube account at all after that, and attempting to use my log in sent me to the account she'd made using my yahoo as the email.

Which was then furthered by the fact that we would use eachother's emails for stuff pretty frequently.

Like if we wanted a free trial for a streaming service because there was a show on there we wanted to watch, if my sister didn't have a random email that could be used (she has so many email addresses nowadays, I don't know how she keeps track of them) we'll just use mine.

Or using each other's email addresses as recovery emails.

Where this random 3rd women comes in I'm not sure, but it's her email address that's currently listed on this dossier, which would explain why I don't get spam emails at all.

There are various stuff like my old facebook account that I've been locked out of since the early 2010s and the third person could have just stolen.

So the 3rd woman could be an attempted identity thief who got screwed over by the internet thinking I am but already someone else's false identity.

[anistarrose]

So the thing is, if people ship characters who are explicitly not into romance (whether aromantic or otherwise), that ultimately doesn't affect me on a level beyond "annoyance" — I can blacklist tags, and blacklist or block people who don't tag it. What I have to ask myself every time I see these things, however, is this:

"Does this reflect how this person feels about romance-averse people in real life? Does this reflect how this person treats romance-averse people in real life?"

Because how someone engages with fiction doesn't have to be a reflection of how they treat real people, obviously — and in this case, I would of course hope that it isn't. But if you know anything about what being aromantic is like, in real life or on the Internet... you'll understand why I'm not optimistic.

Thinking two characters are so cute together that you reject a bunch of their characterization to make it happen is just annoying, not a crime! But the second you make the leap to telling a real human person things like:

"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you just won't realize that you and X would make such a cute couple,"

or:

"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you're clearly just in denial which the Right Person has to come along and fix,"

or:

"But — but — but not falling in love is just so tragic! I want you to be happy, not sad and lonely your whole life!"

like the rationales that apparently motivate so many people to ship? Then that has crossed the line into harming real people.

I don't actually think that shipping aromantic characters is the primary cause in the cause-effect diagram, when it comes to the correlating the shipping with "likelihood to say these terrible, invalidating, autonomy-undermining things to real people." Precisely, I don't think it's a cause to a meaningful degree when you compare with the opposite direction — I think people who say these things to real aromantics (or anyone else who just isn't interested!), because of what they think about these real people, are in turn more likely to think amatonormative things about fictional characters. I think that there exists a feedback loop to some extent, because fiction can influence people's beliefs to some degree, but it's not symmetric. Real-life amatonormativity causes mass amatonormativity in fandom spaces.

So... at this point, do you see why aromantic people in fandom get a little defensive about aro characters, and about other characters who overlap with aro experiences? You see why we get kind of pissy when people very selectively throw a very specific part of their characterization out the window? You see why we maybe don't want to associate with those people? Why it makes us so uncomfortable?

"Stop shipping romance-repulsed characters," in my opinion, is a understandable outcry from the community that I obviously sympathize with — but it nevertheless conceals the core of the issue, especially from non-aromantics who aren't living with amatonormativity shoved down their throats at all times, and therefore might not be able to read between the lines. At the core, this isn't actually a debate about the morality of shipping in fiction, despite overlap with that discourse on the surface.

The real cry for change isn't "stop shipping that character." It's "start accepting me for who I am, without trying to either undermine or mourn it at every opportunity." Because at the moment, the overlap between people who erase fictional aromanticism and real aromanticism is significant — and even where they don't overlap, you know what? Romance-averse folks just trying to live in peace can't fucking tell the difference.

[betterbemeta]

Not to navigate a nuanced topic or anything but you all understand that 'having a fetish for' is different from 'fetishizing', right? And that being sex-positive doesn't mean that everything's a free-for-all?

'having a fetish' is something that exists within the person who holds it. It's not inherently bad or good to have a fetish. Societal norms define what even is a fetish. A culture that doesn't associate breasts with sex will find a fixation on breasts to be weird, etc.

But 'fetishizing' something is to project over other people's bodies, forcing them to bear or play out those inner beliefs you hold. The fetishization of bodies can be system-wide, bigger than a single person, and often is. It is a form of violence that deletes the agency and personhood of the fetishized body in favor of how that body can be possessed or controlled.

The reason I am bringing this up is that while statements of desire are like... allowed... maybe understand that we all participate in power dynamics on the internet that may not be instantly apparent. Even if you create sexual art, write poetry, openly express your desires to your friends, which ARE all normal... you (probably) wouldn't in real life go up to complete strangers unsolicited and state, AWOOGA! I want to be choked by a redhead tonight! When this does happen in real life, it usually is considered to be sexual harassment, or creating an atmosphere of sexual harassment. Even if you're not talking directly to the redhead you're thirsty for.

And like. There's a difference between "I'm sexually excited by this art, the fat woman in it looks hot," however you want to say that, and getting followed out of the blue from a blog that contains posts like, 'I want to feed her until her belly pops' which is about control of the bodies of others, for sexual gratification. Anybody ethically engaging in that type of play would be doing so with mutual consent, it would be a kink scene and not fetishization of bodies that just exist out in the world, neutral of what someone wants from them.

Before you post or add tags, or follow on your kink side blog, think, am I putting this into a space where everyone's mutually consented? Is it a statement that would be protected by social freedom of expression or would it be considered an unsolicited sexual advance by a reasonable (see: not a homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic) standard? If it came in a large volume, (like, hundreds of messages and not just yours), would that context change?

I'm anything but the sex police; I want everyone to be as nasty as is safe for them to be, but. Typical netiquette doesn't cover this stuff, how power can turn what's normally private and none of anyone else's business into someone else's business in a big way.

[nishnormp]

thinking way too hard about things that probably do not need this much thought

In lieu of tfc merc brainrot, I have decided to do some historical research and character workshopping to shape out the details of everything needed in ficwriting. I have nothing else to post (my art is not going well) so I might as well scream about this

P1: TF2 alternate history bullshit

Abraham Lincoln inventing rocket jumping before the existence of stairs, the entire thing with Australium, so on. Despite TFC having modern kevlar (as opposed to looney toons weapons, but a bit about that later) and a more serious/gritty tone, the setting is still within the TF2 universe; which means having a weird fusion of irl history and vaguely reasonable fantasy absurdities.

To clarify, I am not a bona fide history nut who knows absolutely everything (ffs my own country's history doesn't even play much in western incidents). I've just been doing research thru online articles, videos, and talking to other ppl who know more than me, so my brain can lack a bit for certain things; do correct me if I get anything wrong.

By the 1850s (estimation) Australia became a tech giant due to discovering Australium, making insane progress in basically every field (and also making their population very jacked). Newfound inventions also require raw resources, and this page confirms that australians pick their leader mostly based on pure strength, which begs the question; are they still connected to Britain? Would there still be a benefit for them to be linked to Britian the way they are?

There are many cases where nations plunder other nations just for natural resources; Britian is one particularly infamous force with many colonies, which makes me wonder if Australia ever resorted to snatching them just to afford all the material components that their tech requires. Australia was part of the British Empire up until 1901 irl (not too far from 1890), but the question about resources and sovereignty(even if symbolic) still remain (Britain likely wouldn't like a territory growing at terrifying and eventually unmanageable rates, and at that rate I doubt Australia would settle for middling trade margins)

(Well, apparently Saxton owns England. But that was when he discovered the internet)

There's also the ensemble of first gen mercs. RED and BLU recruit progressively less important mercs as time goes on, starting from important historical/media figures, to modern militant professional-lookin dudes, and finally to the current crop of crackheaded TF2 mercs we know and love. The Original mercs I mostly want to focus on are Abraham Lincoln and John Henry.

I'm not exactly sure if John Henry is even a real person, but he was a symbol for labor movements and the civil rights movement; the fact that he IS a real person in TF2 lore is p vital methinks, especially since him and Lincoln seem to be on the same team. Mercs are paid a lot, even the "bottom of the barrel" tf2 ones: scout has his merch collection to show for it, medic has his exotic animal parts, heavy has his gun ammo (and also casually gave a child 7k dollars), etc; could John Henry have spearheaded civil rights movements not just in America but also other territories (like africa) with the bread and merits he got for the job? Does he have a legacy with rouge merc groups (armed unions?) that fight against imperialism? Maybe even effect/radicalize Lincoln about some things??? Unethical business practices still persist even in Saxton's era (hell, he's an example) but maybe the (hypothetical) challenges to Britain's grasp on its colonies and evolution of munitions would give the people an edge.

I have no idea how a drastically colony-less Britain would affect the timeline of WW1 (esp in less popular side-wars like in South Africa where Britain was very much involved, which may be problematic since my interp of cmedic is FROM there but anyways) (btw they only won that bc they out-attritioned Germany, but by that point maybe the dutch or the americans would take over), but surprisingly enough WW2 ends at around the same time it does irl, despite my initial thought that a roided-out Allied Australia would be more than capable of turning the Axis Powers into a skidmark. The likely explanation for that is that the finer details were just not important for the tf2 comics that took place AFTER (fair enough), but as someone planning to write the 1930s mercs . Pain . My working explanation is that seemingly unaligned private contractors can get ahold of weapons easier than Certain governments, which makes mercs more popular than national soldiers for carrying out certain missions (plausible employer deniability baybeeee).

P2: Conflicting class meta - CHeavy edition

Onto something less heavy, another part of ficwriting is figuring out how characters are...characterized. The TFC mercs dont have much canonical info (I've already turned two of them into straight up ocs because I am NOT going to write p3dos from start to finish of a longfic) so I settle for looking at other things, like gameplay and ingame roles.

The first I focused on was cheavy, the leader of the group. Grouchy, but a surprisingly tolerant team player.

This IS reused from a previous post (im lazy) but the first bullet basically says "otherwise, offensive heavies are frequently looked down on and the power of the other team's defense will have you dead in no time". Gameplay-wise, CHeavy is considered the simplest class and the easiest one to master; most tfc gamers think its a common noob pick. His total health is pretty good, he occupies a big space so he can block narrow paths, and the way he attacks is simple; but he's slow even when b-hopping (grenades cant boost him either) so he can be outrun/picked apart by other classes, which really shows in tfc's most popular game format: capture the flag.

I've seen about a handful video of tfc gameplay that WASN'T ctf (or the slightly diff gamemode with a defense system), and even if the 4th bullet point is right, those two classes are usually doing more important things during ctf. My main point is that despite being the leader, he isn't the type of class to lead the charge.

The most reasonable thing I can think of is that he's just . Really good at strategy and can keep track of his team while reliably holding down a position. That, and his superior bulk makes him shine more outside of the gravel pits. Whatever it is, it does make more sense to me now that I revisit the comic panels where he is VERY spiteful that his teammates got killed (rather than calling them weak, they fr matter to him bc otherwise, he isn't getting shit done)

(Ik the reason hes the boss is bc big scary dude and karmic ass-handing via other heavy who actually respects his doctor but shh the fic demands reasons)

P3: Conflicting class meta - Cmedic edition

The contradiction I can immediately clock is the fact that cmedic never gets mentioned despite his omnipresence in his original game. Most hc's I've seen interpret him as the exact opposite of the current medic, which is a dedicated doctor who also happens to be a sweetheart (with very rare exceptions), but may I propose the theory that all mannco medic mercs are bastards? I'm 99% sure that the original medic was sigmund freud. TF2 medic is just a menace. Post WW1 most moral and noble medics would bust their asses at hospitals rather than sign up to a contract tying them down to just healing 8 other people and killing other people over and over, but that's just my hc (we're all making shit up, might as well have fun with it).

The most common citing for cmed's hidden menace energy is his virus weaponry, but I think his ingame role also shows it pretty well. Practically taking the scout's niche and making it less punishing by having straight upgrades of his two weapons, giving healing utility AND also being able to sniff out spies like a cscout (he can't diffuse bombs or trail caltrops, but he's already powerful as is). Imagine being cscout, having to compete for flag capture points with this guy who practically has everything you have but better (instead of leaving behind super visible spikes he has a college degree). This isn't even like the modern sniper vs spy debate where it can still be debated that spy has a unique niche with his mindgames, cmedic just straight up took copied his homework, 98% percent matching on the plagiarism bot.

Cscout and cmedic beef is very likely, but if cscout is a literal god at what he does then there won't be much issue, since the best cscout is ultimately better at flagrunning than cmedic. Its likely that cscout is simply human tho, so that's some drama that can happen.

Funnily enough the tfc class that gets the most weight and hate on its shoulders is sniper. This is because servers have a limit on how many snipers can join, and if a shitty sniper took up the slots, the rest of the team would be pretty pissed. Meanwhile, a competent sniper is the bane of every player's existence; a missed shot can still slow someone down until a medic cures them.

P4: cmedic backstory building hell - barely organized nonsense

Last one I swear. My drawings of cmedic explicitly portray him as a person of color- more specifically a cape malay, from the cape territory in South Africa; he even curses in malay in one of the posts. Ig I wanted the cast to be more diverse, but it did make his backstory somewhat harder to write.

Mann co is situated in New Mexico, far from SA. How and why did he get all the way there? With the fanon worldbuilding I set, what is stopping him from simply joining a nearer merc group? Probably heard of it through the grapevine, and travelled for fat stacks; wouldn't be uncommon for doctors (or mercs) to be highly motivated due to money. I wondered of what would set him apart from all the other hypothetical medic applicants that probably graduated from upstanding colleges like harvard, then I recall all those common hcs.

1)Most applicants assumed that the job would consist of primarily healing, without considering how bloodthirsty their company would be, and/or 2)the BLU team has been getting genuine medics and chewing them up like gum (and spitting them out utterly mangled, I suppose). There's also the possibility that some margin of these medics actually had some weapon training, but at that point a lot of time has been spent (also some conflicting motives there, I can't imagine the perks that a deadly merc job has over a hospital job unless the guy got a kick out of it).

My next idea was to make him a ww1 vet on the side of the British (australian? american?) colonies of SA, having joined midway after finishing his education. However this would clock his age during the current 1970s timeline to be around 81, pretty old; most of the tfc mercs would be 70s max around that time. Cmedic is visually the youngest of the mercs too, you can compare his smooth eyes to the more sunken cspy's eyes and there is a notable difference. This is really just an issue of me being on the fence about fully oc-fying him (a friend of him suggested making him a vampire, I am almost tempted to make it so).

In the case that particular hurdle is overcome, there are more details I have to iron out. I figured that his motives either come from wanting to financially help out his family after the war's sheer devastation, or just . a general resentment for the way things unfolded, and he swapped to merc work in the states to get properly paid for his work and (attempt to) fill the void in his soul. Maybe a mix of the two. An outlier in his community for being a godless man and having very material and tangible masters (science and money), he abandons the lofty ideals of nationalism and sides himself with the highest bidder in the private market. Also developed an insane immune system (trenches and exposure are no joke).

(Certain classes have shared characteristics across gens, like the demos' deranged smiles and engies' wholesome vibes. With sigmund freud, tf2 medic as the archetypal mad doctor, and tfc medic as the archetypal capitalist doctor, there are now three gens of doctors with dubious machinations.)

He'd probably be a great medic, respecting merc code and all (funfact tf2 medic mentions tfc demo by name, implying that he knows his real name and putting a dent in my theory that being on a first-name basis is a big deal actually , my countertheory to that is that grey mann gave him the team's files and tf2 medic wants to spite them). Cmedic also reverse-engineered the medkit and made a new version for non-gravel war missions, since the usual has several hard drugs (heals to full instantly and gives adrenaline boost, sounds sus especially if you read jarate's side effects) since he ended up somewhat caring about his pack of rabid animals

[twirlybumblevee]

Pointers on how to respond to a victim trusting you with their story

After everything that's happened over the past week, I figured I'd offer something constructive and share some of the things I learned while I prepared for and then volunteered as a first responder / consultant for victims of all kind (not just sexual) for a few years. Just in case someone else here might ever be in that sort of situation, since it can be quite overwhelming.

While I do believe that what I'm writing down is quite helpful (at least from my own experience), this isn't the "full whole truth" that applies on every single situation, because - and that's sort of also my first point:

Every situation is different. No two stories are exactly the same, so never try and apply one case to another. Everyone deserves to be heard for themselves.

If anyone comes to you with their story (and I'm not exculding non-sexual violence or other traumatic events here), see it as a huge sign of trust. In the overwhelming amount of cases, to speak up about something traumatic that has happened to someone is incredibly hard and difficult, and if they open up to you, try and treat it and them with care and consideration. (It can get very overwhelming depending on the story, so remember to take care of yourself too.)

Your job is to offer understanding, empathy, and a safe space for the other person to talk about whatever they're ready to talk about, in their own words. Remember: It's not about you, it's about them. That means no pushing for details out of curiosity, no leading questions (an example for this would be "how did you feel?" instead of "did you feel scared/disgusted/uncomfortable/etc?"), and no telling them what they should do.

The thing you can do is to offer (because if they came to you, chances are they might be looking for help - or only an open ear). Depending on the situation (and also country, let's be real), that can mean a whole lot of things, small and big. Offer to be there to listen if they need it. Offer to take them to the hospital. Offer them distractions. Offer them sympathy and understanding. Even resources, if you're in place to offer them, for example a place to stay for the night. Offer them your help in finding professional help (because remember: you are not a professional. You can and should never replace the work of a legal consultant, therapist, doctor or the like.)

Again remember: Take care of your own mental health. You can only help so far. And if you (and them) turn anywhere, your first stop should always be a professional - not the internet.

In an ideal case, you will be able to get outside help. It might take a long time, for many of the reasons mentioned above, and more. Being ready to talk to you doesn't mean they're ready to talk to a therapist, or go to the police, or any of the sort, even in apparently very clear cut cases. Even if something happened years ago though, it can be worth getting active. It's definitely NEVER too late to get psychological help.

Some countries have initiatives that offer financial compensation to victims (because it is your government's duty to protect you from harm, and if they couldn't do that, they will at least compensate you - that's the idea). That can mean a number of things like paying for (mental and physical) therapy, operations, special aids for your home, and so on. People might not want to take advantage of these, because it can be a draining and mentally taxing process to apply for them. (Because of course, as the real world works, there will be a lot of questions about the hows and whys and whats.) It is good to know that these options might exist though. (This particular bit is heavily drawing reference from Germany, where I know for a fact that this government initiative exists. Pretty much any country has initiatives that offer professional help in all kinds of ways, especially for female victims.)

This is what I can think of right now. If I think of more, I might add on to this, but it's long enough as it is. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I hope this is a little helpful to at least some people here. :)

-- Vee

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Imho people put too much in the houses. Like they're basically just social cliques, and the sorting hat was definitely taking into account what would or wouldn't destroy their social lives.

I mean, people put as much into houses as the characters seem to put into houses.

For the characters houses are meaningful, they are social cliques and I'm sure the Sorting Hat pays attention to the social situation the student would be in, but there is an element to these traits, to the values a student has when sorted. But more importantly, wizards think about them as so much more. They are a sign of status, legacy, and worth. Like, little 11-year-old Draco says he'd just leave if he was sorted into Hufflepuff because, in his mind, it would mean he isn't worthy of the other "better" houses.

And Draco isn't the only one. Hagrid calls all of Slytherin Evil, practically all the professors play favorites, Ron is worried over not being in Gryffindor because all his family is in Gryffindor, Neville worries about being in Gryffindor because he doesn't think he is worthy of the house reputation because of what his grandmother told him, and students repeatedly fall into the trap of "Wait, why aren't you at X house?" When someone's behavior deviates slightly from the stereotype of their own house. Like, Terry Boot, when told Hermione cast a NEWT Gemino charm, asks her: "How come you aren't in Ravenclaw?" Because they're supposed to be the smart guys.

Basically, the Wizarding World treats houses like a Big Deal. Even adults who graduated decades ago still have pride in their own house. Actually, there are real-world examples of things like that.

I mean, school houses are a British commonwealth thing that exists in public boarding schools. In these irl houses, students take pride in their house, wear their house colors, and are incredibly competitive with other houses. There are schools that apparently have family houses, an in, if a student's sibling/child arrives at the school, they'd go to the same house as their family member.

(I got this from reading online, as I never encountered a school like this irl, but the internet tells me they exist)

But if we talk about something I'm more familiar with, I taught in a sorta summer course thing for teenagers, and we divided the students there into classes since there were over a hundred of them. There wasn't really a difference between the classes, but each class had its name, symbol, and colors (and different staff members), and the students' tribal instincts kicked in. They got super competitive with the other classes and had their closest friends basically exclusively within their own class. We often caught them making fun of other students for being in another class (something that meant literally nothing). So the staff put a lot of effort into creating activities for the entire group without class separation to try and fight that.

Humans are tribal creatures, we have a built-in mechanism that tells us to come together in groups and think our group is the best. A house system just happens to kick that instinct into gear, but it's always there.

So, it's not that weird that that's how Hogwarts houses are treated in universe, and the fandom gives them the same importance characters in universe seem to give them. Because to them they are that important.

(Of course, not all characters have the exact same opinion about the house system. There are adults in the Wizarding World that don't actually care, but then there are many who do)

Now, houses aren't necessarily a bad thing, humans have this tribal instinct for a reason. We need to feel like we're part of a community, a sense of belonging is something most people seek be it subconsciously or consciously. And there is joy in being part of something that has a long history and that you can be proud of. The problem is when these groups start to define people more than their own person as an individual does. And, shockingly, I don't think the Wizarding World has that problem on a cultural level.

Like Scabior says:

“So you aren’t wanted, then, Vernon? Or are you on that list under a different name? What house were you in at Hogwarts?” “Slytherin,” said Harry automatically. “Funny ’ow they all think we want to ’ear that.” leered Scabior out of the shadows.

(DH, 386)

Houses aren't everything. Even a Slytherin who knows where the common room is but has a suspicious name and says Voldemort's name is cause for suspicion. Being a proven Slytherin doesn't necessarily save you because they don't expect all Slytherins to back them. Because there are those who don't and they seem very aware of it. We also don't really see jobs that are reserved for certain houses.

I think some wizards do generalize more based on houses, but I think the majority of their adult population is aware that people are individuals outside of their houses.

Basically, I think the wizarding world's treatment of houses could definitely be way way better, it isn't as bad as it could be (which isn't a high bar since I expect the worst from the Wizarding World).

[ncruuk]

Reposting here a reply I've just typed up on AO3 to a comment I got about sending my fic to TPTB of that particular fandom's source content....in case there's people who don't know this (both in fearmongered early internet fandom history and it's current big reason not to do)

The way fanfic is connected to original content and the whole 'legal' space that AO3 and others before them helped to establish for us rather depended originally on fanfiction being never sent to showrunners/anyone connected with producing the 'official' content - because the minute they get even a hint of an idea of something existing in a fanfic, that basically makes it a toxic concept for the show itself for fear of being sued by the fanfic writer over use of 'their' element of the idea. Which has always baffled me as a fanfic writer since it seems such a big corporation mindset to react that way rather than the 'wow, people love what we made they're thinking laterally and some of these ideas are awesome and really worth thinking about' which is most fan reactions in conversation with each other.

I maybe an 'old school' fandom person who's slightly out of date on this point now, except it still applies even more strictly because it counts as 'unsolicited material' that apparently is a massive no in studio/streamer contracts with producers (thank you Neil Gaiman for explaining this so patiently on Tumblr a while back - link to one of his posts on the topic, (without tagging him here on tumblr because he's nice and doesn't need the spam referencing!)

But it is what it is, and if you want to guarantee something you read in fanfic never makes it on screen, do send it to TPTB with a flashy email subject saying 'this fanfic is so cool because X is Y' as the subject and 'bam!' not only will the email not be read or replied to, but that cool thing perhaps won't happen.

But thank you to you (and others) who suggest it periodically, I'm perfectly happy hanging out in fandom daydreaming and writing it down (albeit rather slowly at times due to real life regrettably having to take priority most of the time!)

[robotlesbianjavert]

Ten headcanons about spinner please

well you asked so nicely. okay!

10) i think i've already mentioned this in the past and some fics but despite what you expect from someone with reptile associations he's not anymore affected by the cold than any other warm-blooded person. and he knows it's a silly thing to get sensitive about but well when people assume he gets a bit heated!! so to say!!

9) he first learned how to use a knife, and in particular knife throwing tricks, from his mom, who is most of the born and bred country rep in his family and grew up with very little else to do and really needed a cool party trick. between her and toga, knife-throwing is his only surefire way to bond with women.

8) who is the biggest bara rep in league of legends. idk mordekaiser looks promising. in any case spinner's first glimmer of realizing that he is gay was accidentally stumbling upon LoL bara doujinshi, on the internet. somehow the continuing fascination for bara did not translate to real life where he keeps going gaga for weird skinny weirdos with disappointing t&a (UNTIL shigaraki's ujiko-provided glow-up)

7) his backup plan for going to the city after seeing stain on tv if he failed to find and join the league of villains was just to hit all the clubs and get laid. but as a virgin and hikkikomori he was very nervous about this option and was kind of relieved that he could just join a terrorist group instead.

6) i used this one in a fic too lmao. as a kid his claws were filed down regularly so that other kids and the rest of the town didn't freak out and think he was gonna gut them. cuz they're evil. as part of the headcanon of it all he does have weird hang-ups and

5) backseat gamer. like, pathological. much like myself as a child watching my stepbrothers play zelda or conker's bad fur day, he will sit over shigaraki's shoulder (and anyone else's i guess but he's literally so under-socialized he doesn't know anyone else who plays videogames irl. sad!) and be like i wouldn't have done that. you're supposed to go over there. why aren't you using all these cheat codes that i know (they don't work). thankfully shigaraki is cool with this cuz he loves to argue. i actually consider this canon enough given that we have now seen spinner hanging over shigaraki's shoulder as he's playing games.

4) were a tumblr equivalent to exist in bnhaverse spinner would have an account and he would try to be crazy stealth and not have it associated to any other social accounts ever and he would be a hater on it and you could not pay him to commit voter fraud for something against his morals (shipping polls) (he would have voted destiel!! he knows he is cas-coded!!) but he would create so many dummy accounts manually by hand HIMSELF like a hard worker to influence results as much as he could. without paying people. or getting bots. he has a pure hater soul.

3) related to the above spinner is a constant hater online. people ask him what does he ever like and he just regurgitates whatever video essay he watched recently that had a nice thing to say. but his hater stances are 100% original. not to say that he never Likes something about anything but he's dogshit at expressing it.

2) part of his issues is that he was very unintentionally detached from any other of his heteromorph-related family that he could relate to (a lot of the family was probably located in cities) aside from whatever parents or siblings, which contributed further to his feelings of isolation from the community he grew up in, and his heteromorphic traits were just enough more apparent compared to the immediate family that he was more targeted by the community he grew up in. so he's both discriminated and marginalized by the community, and has a harder time finding solace in his family to cope.

1 ) i must once again stand by spinner's hybistrophilia. like really specifically his true fantasy is a cool suave older man who does a lot of serial killing and is willing to take spinner under his wing and say ah i see you have a lot of potential. but then he fell in love with shigaraki. that's how you know it's true love. i guess you can argue that shigaraki is an old soul.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Hi! I have some IWTV qs after seeing the movie&the internet isn't helping me at all. Hoping you could! 1.I've seen book explanations for why Lestat survived the fire, but is there something I missed in the movie to explain it? 2.What did Armand mean when he said he'd die if Louis left? 3.Why was Louis so weak and feeding off rats towards the end?Traumatized by the fire or something? 4.If Louis hated being a vamp so much,why didn't he just kill himself? &my last question will be in another ask...

^1/3 5. Is a possible interpretation of the ending that Louis&Lestat are working together again? Lestat said he could go out again if he had Louis but Louis said he had to go. Lestat then somehow ends up going after the guy that Louis was just talking to? Obvi not a coincidence so maybe he's just following Louis...but what if he's doing what he said? He's going out again bc he has Louis. Louis set up Malloy; or at least did so only after his reaction to his story? Maybe a stupid theory lol. ^2/3 anyway, sorry to come at you with all these questions, I just can't find answers anywhere else. Loved the movie and would just like to understand it better. I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore? Thank you so much for any time you can give me and my questions lol! ^3/3

Wow, Anon, that's a lot of questions! Thanks for asking me 💗

The 1994 movie doesn't say how Lestat escaped the fire. In the book, Armand first tells Louis that Lestat had died, but much later, Armand tells Louis that Lestat left the theatre before Louis returned to burn it down:

Here's the script for Interview with the Vampire. It's similar, but not the same as the movie! It doesn't explain why Lestat survived the fire, but it's a fun read.

In the Vampire Lestat, Lestat says Armand took him by carriage to Magnus's tower after the trial, and after Claudia died, probably before the fire.

Hit the jump, cut for length.

2. Armand needed Louis to "quicken him once more," but he wasn't really dying in the physical sense. It's more like he saw in Louis a way to live again, having a new relationship with a New World vampire and experiencing the technology and culture with Louis is a reason to live. In the books, Armand forms a relationship with the interviewer Daniel, and they explore technology, culture, etc. of the time together (it's in Queen of the Damned). Armand wanted that kind of companion in Louis but Louis wasn't interested.

3. I think you meant Lestat? Bc Louis isn't eating rats at the end, it's Lestat. Lestat was weak from surviving the fire that Louis set on him before he and Claudia left for Europe, and an injury from Armand*.

*In the Vampire Lestat, he's on the roof of Magnus's tower with Armand, after Claudia's death, and Armand apparently punches Lestat off the tower, further injuring Lestat:

So, Lestat was pretty weak and horrible-looking, and would have had trouble going into places with people to kill them without freaking them out, so feeding on animals was easier:

4. Louis, deep down, didn't actually hate himself enough to want to kill himself. But he does try later in the series, depending which books you include as canon. Personally, I think Louis has conflicting feelings about how much he loves art, nature, humanity, Lestat, and the other vampires... he loves how his senses were enhanced by becoming a vampire, but it's also somewhat shameful, bc the price of those things he loves comes at the cost of continuing to take human life to fuel his existence.

I think Louis really was ready to kill himself for giving into his nature and feeding on a child, and that's really why Lestat turned Claudia, to protect Louis from the overwhelming guilt of having killed the most innocent victim. Luckily it seems like Louis didn't go for any more children, so Lestat didn't have to turn any more of them!

5. Tackling this in a separate post and I'll link to it 😎 [X]

[needtoloveoutloud]

Apparently, a hot take on hive-mind tumblr?

Every time I see a post that equates pro-shipping or difficult, problematic themes in (fan) fiction and books and other stories with actual, real-life SA or whatever the topic is, I automatically assume that the OP lacks critical thinking skills and media literacy, fell for the dangerous Puritan movement that's sort of going on in the US (and other countries, too) right now and is likely 14 y/o (or at least mentally stuck at that age) and simply jumped up on that dangerous bandwagon of wanted censorship.

Also, a little bit of hope dies within me.

I could write a damn essay on why equating the “experiences” of fictional (read it again: fictional aka NON-EXISTENT characters) with the trauma and experiences of real-life people is incredibly harmful and hurtful.

To somehow put the plot of a story on the same level as what actual victims went through under the guise of "omg you write/read something like that, so you must support this" is so disrespectful, on so many levels. To everyone affected.

(for example: in my story, I wrote about a 4 y/o girl that got kidnapped by child-traffickers. Does not mean that I a) condone that shit in any way shape or form in the real world and b) am a kidnapper and/or child trafficker myself...? I don't even know why this needs to be clarified?)

Only because some people don't like something that does!not!actually!harm! a real-life person, doesn't mean that that thing should be forbidden or censored. This is so, so incredibly dangerous. I feel like we have learned nothing from history. How about we just start burning books again? That worked out amazingly in the past and wasn't a catalyst for any big issues at all, right?

Assuming stuff is properly tagged, it's your own responsibility for what you consume online. If you are under 18, this applies too. A lot of authors feel uncomfortable to sharing their work with minors, which is completely fine, and they are in the right to do that. If you still continue to read a story (or in the case of AO3, click "accept" when the warning pops up that a story might include adult themes (graphic description of violence, sex, language, whatever, really): then it is on the minor (or the parents who didn't oversee their child's internet activity). Authors are not their parents or guardians. If minors have unrestricted access to the internet (which I am not sure they should have, at least not when you're 12 or something, but then again: I'm no one's parent), then all you can do is learn by experience. You lie and pretend you're older than you are? You click "understand" and read a story that involves adult themes?

If you do all that, despite the site's warning or the author's warning, then you do not get to complain that the story is intended for people who are older than you, have more media literacy and critical thinking skills to be able to differentiate between fiction and real life or the fact that the story contains adult themes — as it was tagged. WHATEVER adult themes are included.

Trying to censor stuff or illegalize things only because YOU subjectively think they are wrong or immoral or whatever opens the door to a lot of dangerous effects that we, in a civilized society, had to work hard to bounce back from in the past — historically speaking.

Some countries still have major restrictions and censorship of stories, books, and whole websites (that do not harm people) and it was often possible to implement such laws and censorships because it was argued (in the beginning) that it was for the protection of young people or because all porn is inherently bad or stuff like that. Then, it opens the doorway to a lot of other censorship, and then it's too late or very, very hard to reverse.

Idk, there are just so many things wrong with the notion of "anti-shipping" or "I wanna censor shit you read/write because I don't like it/think it's immoral" and, personally, it just rubs me the wrong way.

God, I can already feel people starting a discussion or blocking me or unfollowing me or whatever. And you know what's the beauty of it? You can do that — because we, luckily, have the power and responsibility to be in charge of what content we actively consume online. :)

P.S. I shouldn't have to say this, but obviously (as stated) my take on all of this only applies to fictional characters. Writing SA stories on real, existing people (celebrities or not) is not okay.

Feel free to ignore this, feel free to jump in to discuss this topic like adults, idc, really :D Just wanted to voice my thoughts to the vast void of the interwebs

Also: feel free to help educate me if you think I lack background information or stuff.

[atopvisenyashill]

the way twitter stans don't get matt smith is playing up the blacks vs greens conflict like most of the actors have been in the recent interviews, like ofc as the person who plays daemon he's gonna say he doesn't like alicent lmao

(also i find it interesting how all of the crazy team green twitter stans had no problem when tgc called jace a dweeb isn't that hate too🤔)

no YEAH and like, obvious caveat it isn't the whole fandom but twitter does incentivise the absolute craziest people to get popular which means some of thee most annoying people to have ever existed in this world are popular in the greater hotd fandom, and what's been consistently frustrating is how many people who are either rhaenicent/girls focused or tg stans who just refuse to acknowledge the absolutely cracked behavior coming from their side. like, all this focus on olivia, basically with the implication that this is an isolated thing like with the hate lena got for playing cersei, but it's not because imo the internet (or at least twitter) has gotten infinitely worse since got finished, so it's not just olivia getting this insane behavior, it's the bulk of the cast! and it's coming from everyone, from the angry book fans, the targ nation delulus, the femslash enjoyers, tb, tg, every subfandom has had some insane and over the line behavior directed towards the cast that loves to default to either "well you're ugly and i hope you die" or just straight up bigotry.

like the amount of people (largely the "toxic yuri enjoyers" or the tb stans, i can whack the people i hang out with!!) going after tom for saying standard actor stuff like "I love my character" or "i feel bad for my character" and saying he's a rape apologist is crazy. people didn't even go after jason momoa for that real dumbshit "i get to rape beautiful women" comment this hard! is he supposed to not try to understand the character he's playing?? are people who play villains or antagonists just never allowed to feel sympathy for their characters? that's crazy, that's insane, but especially in a series where a) there are SO MANY villain protagonists and b) this series is known for exploring why bad people turn into bad people and why good people do bad things and what even a "bad person" or a "good person" looks like, so why are we mad that the cast plays into this??

and YEAH tbh like you say, i think there's a lot of in this case tg stans specifically who get so fucking angry whenever Matt Smith plays along with the "all must choose" angle but it's like - yeah of course he does, he's not the only one doing this, he clearly thinks it's fun to joke about how he's gonna decimate ewan mitchell, and i think a lot of his bts stuff throughout his career has gone from the two extremes of "having something amazing to say" and "being completely and totally unserious" because this is a job he does, and he likes to get goofy with it. it's fine!!! but no, apparently, it's such a crime to simply exist and like that he's playing this fun character with a goofy wig and a cool aesthetic that we've gotta dogpile every post about him calling him ugly!! but when The People We Hate In Fandom do something vile like call olivia a cunt to her face, that's the true evil! and when People We Are Friends With start saying really weird shit about fabien being ~violent~ we just look the other way even tho that feels just a lil racist!!!

it's more frustrating because you can't even say this is a fandom that skews young like a shitty teen show or a cartoon - this is a grown up show for adults, this is prestige tv, this is a show and a series you actually think "maybe i should wait a few years before i let my middle schooler dig into that one" but the fandom is SO INSANE. WE ARE ALL ADULTS WHY ARE WE ACTING SO JOBLESS. GO PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT. DO SOME YOGA SO YOUR BACK DOESN'T SEIZE UP BEFORE 40. TOUCH GRASS!!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I always have a moment, if I hear a comedian mention the word "Tumblr", of briefly panicking, as I remember that technically they use the same internet as I do and apparently are allowed to see this website. I usually relax if it was before 2015, though. Lots of people knew Tumblr existed before 2015. For some reason, around 2015, maybe slightly later, everyone believed that Tumblr stopped existing. So if it was before that, I figure it's fine. These day they are probably one of the many people in the world who assume Tumblr doesn't exist.

I'm sort of joking about this - as in I do genuinely have a moment of freaking out from hearing them say the word "Tumblr" because I briefly and irrationally somehow feel like they can see me, but I also know there's no need to be genuinely worried, as in real life just because they mentioned a website's name doesn't mean they're on here searching their own name. No one's doing that on Tumblr. It really is why I love this website. No one is here. No one is looking at us. It's not like Instagram where you're posting on the same site where the celebrities you're talking about have their own fucking account.

Except for David O'Doherty, who does have a Tumblr account that he must log into regularly because it has his tour list and that's kept up to date, but he hasn't made any new posts on there in years, I'm pretty sure he just updates the tours and then goes away. It's probably fine. Oh, and there is another comedy-adjacent person who has a Tumblr account and whose name I'm not going to write because I know he does Google himself, he once emailed me to tell me so, and I freaked the fuck out for like a week straight because apparently sometimes in real life they can see us. But it's all right, I'm pretty sure he only looked at one post, took a video off YouTube, moved on, it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine and I'm not worried about it. No one's looking at me. That guy does have a Tumblr account of his own that was actually updated regularly, though, so that's a bit different. That might explain how he ended up finding my post that mentioned them on here. Most of them don't so they wouldn't come across my posts. (That guy was also very very nice when he emailed me and I love his work and think he seems very cool, which I'm adding on the infinitesimal chance that he's somehow reading this again, extremely unlikely but I'm vaguely paranoid - I'm also saying that because it's true though, he's great and I still listen to his stuff a lot, it's fine, he was nice, I'm just horrified at the idea that any famous people would ever know what I say about them, that's why I hide in this corner over here.)

So there was that incident. There was the day I discovered DO'D's blog, which did freak me out until I saw how long ago it was last updated. There was one time when Russell Howard referenced a Tumblr post on TV, which freaked me out for about half a second before I remembered that it just means one of his writers found a Tumblr post and put it in the script, Russell Howard doesn't personally write that whole autocue. Russell Howard is probably too important to even run his own Twitter account. He's not here.

The worst scare I've had - besides the time a guy actually emailed me - was when I heard Daniel Kitson in 2018, which was far too recently, say the word "Tumblr" to say he disliked someone who had a Twitter blog and a Tumblr blog dedicated to how great he is. That actually did seriously freak me out for a few days (he wasn't talking about me or anything, I made this blog in 2020, but still, didn't love to hear that Kitson apparently searches his own name on Tumblr and gets mad about people having blogs about him), though I felt better when I first heard his most recent show, in which he promises us he hasn't Googled himself since 2019. He wouldn't lie, right? It's probably fine. It's probably fine.

Anyway. As far as moments where I'm listening to a comedian I have posted about on Tumblr and I hear that person say the word "Tumblr" and for a split second my blood runs cold as I think "What the fuck do you know about Tumblr?" - as far as moments like that go, this sure is one. Brief panic, followed by moment of "it's 2014, it's fucking fine, I'm sure they've all forgotten we're here by now", followed by "Jesus Christ, Ian, what the fuck have you been reading, that side of Tumblr is not meant for your eyes", followed by "actually, I still haven't been able to find a list of air dates for their radio episodes but I have a document where I'm saving all the context clues in the hopes of narrowing it down enough to label all the episodes with dates, the fact he described that particular post as 'new' can be a context clue if I go to that blog and dig up that post and find exactly when it went up", followed by, "Jesus Christ this section of the internet should really not be for anyone's eyes, what the hell, look at all those things people wanted to do to David Mitchell, but yep, found the post, it's from late February 2014, that tracks with everything else, I think I'm in the right ballpark on these air dates."

The work of a comedy archivist is hard. Sometimes you have to go through some trenches to get a context clue for an episode air date. You do what you have to do.

[secretsecretbunny]

Heyy, I think I know who you're talking about, the person who is shit talking. I saw something they said about you and it really hit me the wrong way because it felt really school yard mean girl :( also a lot of the things she writes about is really concerning and she makes stuff up about idols that everyone thinks is real.

I'm not familiar with any of their posts I don't think, if we're talking about the same person that is.. but making stuff up about people isn't cool. writing fics is one thing but to say something as fact about a person you don't know is very strange behavior. I just hope they got what they wanted to feel out of what they're doing, I guess. I can only assume that maybe they're having a bad day and needed some sort of release, and I suppose taking your frustrations out on someone on the internet is the easiest route to take, especially if you don't show your face, y'know? but honestly, this place doesn't really exist to me out in the real world, it's just a place to have fun and babble my little words and make people's little ideas come to life. I'm not sure what I did to upset them and why they're making such odd claims about me when I'm almost positive I've never spoken to them, unless they've messaged me anonymously, but I hope things get better for them because they seem truly bothered. I've blocked multiple people tonight apparently involved in this and it's just kind of tiring to come to my silly little fun place only to be met with multiple forms of hatred for no apparent reason other than people not believing anything I say. which, whatever! that's fine! you do not have to believe anything I talk about. you don't have to believe me about my love life, you don't have to believe me about where I live, you don't have to believe me about my job, shit, you don't even have to believe I'm real. just like, idk.. shut up? maybe? stop letting yourself be so bothered by someone who wasn't even aware of your existence before tonight.

[weebsinstash]

newest werewolf audiobook I'm listening to, The Silent Alpha, broken down for some drama and entertainment's sake:

-Protag Natalia is a human who's fated mate was Alpha Christian of the Silver Crest Pack

-she actually convinces him to let her stay human when they mate and bond, and she was basically a perfect Luna, but she was still a human. For reference I think she's with Christian for at least 5 years

-it's been years and she still hasn't conceived, Christian is getting impatient, Natalia starts developing weird headaches and pains in her chest and stomach, everyone kind of gaslights her and tells her she must be imagining it and feeds her aspirin like candy

-she goes to the doctor (unrelated to the pain she's been feeling) and finds out she's finally pregnant and goes to tell Nathan

-the mysterious pain she's been feeling was Nathan defiling and damaging their mate bond by FUCKING HER SISTER. She sees through a cracked door that they're fucking ON HER BED and Christian is talking about how he'll make her sister Vanessa his Luna if she can get pregnant.

-some of these wolf roles and rankings have biological effects and stuff, right? In these wolf stories, there is usually a male called a Gamma who works for the Alpha and his entire job, his entire purpose, literally, the fucking reason for his existence by the moon goddess, is to take care of the Luna. They even form a specific bond so he can feel how she feels and his aura can help soothe her (to be blunt it sounds like the Gamma is much better suited to be a mate than an actual mate but they specify the Gamma bond often feels like sibling or familial love). Well. Her Gamma Jordan knew Christian was having an affair and he helped lie to Natalia :) wow. So she was also betrayed by a wolf whose literal actual purpose it was to look after her. Ouch.

-Natalia decides to flee with her unborn pup by uh, I love this, she literally just uses the internet to print a template and create a fake fertility test that says she's definitively infertile and she gives it to Christian who IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY grabs her suitcase and starts throwing all her clothes into it, telling her that being pregnant was "her one job and purpose, and she couldn't even do that" meanwhile she thought he loved her tf?

-theres a ceremony where they have to officially denounce her as Luna and it makes my fucking blood boil. She has to agree that she "has failed her role as Luna by failing to perform her duties by producing an heir" nd she can even tell the pack elders are against this or at least pity her

-Nathan is such a fucking cunt he doesn't even wait for Natalia to leave the room before immediately claiming Vanessa as his mate? He marks her within like 20 seconds of Natalia finishing signing the thingy thing that says she's leaving the pack

-dude I actually feel bad for Nathan's wolf, Jack? (Who by the way also has a different voice actor than Nathan himself, an older man with a much deeper sexier voice tbh, I wouldn't mind if there's a story with this voice actor as the love interest 😳 stop giving me cocky ceos in their 30s and give me a real MAN like give me some lumberjack looking mf who's like 45 and can fuck me like a beast) or rather i pity jack at least initially. In most of these stories it is usually the human who is fucking up and the wolf actually still loves the protagonist and that's how it is here. Jack actually HATES Vanessa and is calling Nathan a stupid idiot this entire ordeal. During the denouncing ceremony for Natalia, the wolf also has to take control and reject her as his mate, and before he rejects her he whispers "I'm sorry, Tiny" which was Jack's personal nickname for her as a lil Latina woman, and after Natalia leaves, Jack is snapping at Nathan "you got rid of my Tiny!"

-dude apparently HIPPAA privacy laws don't exist on the packlands because the pack nurse shows up two months after Natalia is gone "oh Christian, I can't say it's my business why you two divorced, but can you get these prenatal vitamins to Natalia. I don't have her contact information and as a human giving birth to a werewolf it could be fatal for her" and cue Christian now knowing she lied, but this makes Jack absolutely furious at Nathan, no joke, "bring back my Tiny or I'll start killing until you don't have a pack left" AND HE DOES which is kind of where I lose sympathy for him. Christian and Jack, in secret, kill at least 50 pack members before they decide to overthrow him because Jack is "going feral"

-like. Ok. Listen to this bullshit right here. Right. So the pack elders and even Nathan's own parents, the former pack leaders, decide he's gone too far and needs to be overthrown. What is their solution? Instead of Julius Cesar'ing the guy like they should, they decide "hey he's literally a lunatic and the strongest member of our pack but we have to OFFICIALLY CHALLENGE HIM FOR THE TITLE"

-LMAO THEY TELL JORDAN IT HAS TO BE HIM AND THEY LITERALLY DONT GIVE HIM A CHOICE. THESE FIGHTS ARE USUALLY TO THE DEATH SO THEYRE BASICALLY ORDERING HIM TO FIGHT SOMEONE BIGGER, STRONGER, AND MORE EXPERIENCED. "Oh yeah he's killing tons of people in our pack but let's formally challenge him to a 1 on 1 where he could potentially win and then retaliate and kill us and also the guy we're sending is a Gamma who betrayed his Luna" what an absolutely STUNNING plan, I haven't reached the challenge but I'm almost absolutely positive Jordan will just be killed or have to be reacued by Natalia who hates him and all wolves now

-Natalia is afraid of werewolves now and wants absolutely nothing to do with them, like before she left she literally used her position as Luna to find out where she could move where there would be no packs around and she winds up in Wyoming) and she's just trying to mind her own business when she's given a new fated mate who refuses to reject her even as she's on her knees begging him to let her go. Because she is a human it somehow doesn't matter if she says the exact words she's supposed to? But guess what. Her new mate is mute from trauma and refuses to reject her because he's never experienced love and he's always treasured the idea of having a mate

-it's like, hard right, because the new mate Zane is actually a really decent sweet guy but Natalia is 100% within her rights to immediately start treating him like shit and tells him to leave her alone and that she hates wolves. Well it turns out some of her coworkers were wolves and she's lowkey traumatized that she was around wolves this entire time she thought she was safe (remember she was never turned so she can't sense wolves or has any powers)

-Zane makes a deal with her: give me a chance for 3 months and if you don't fall for me by then, I'll reject you. So, like, I get where he's coming from, but like, the mate bond does in fact kind of actually brainwash you and take away your consent so, even if it is not his intention, he is essentially trying to buy time until she is manipulated into loving him. Not to say there's nothing about him to love but like, her son is 3 when she meets Zane. I think she could've used a few more years to heal honestly. Also her son is annoying and apparently part of a magical prophecy (the plot of the first book was that the protag turned out to be basically a godlike figure, a special kind of wolf called an Ivory Twin, and there are special wolves called silver wolves and gold wolves. Zane is actually a silver wolf)

-anyways I'm not finished with this story (and I'm kind of bitter because when you're buying coins to unlock chapters, if you're reading a long story you can sometimes exceed the cost of just buying a book), but to reach the funny nail in the fail coffin, right:

After Natalia leaves, her sister Vanessa goes to the nurse. The nurse tells Vanessa not only does she have gonorrhea (which presumably she has also given to Nathan) but her minimal-symptom gonorrhea went untreated so long she has scarring on her fallopian tubes and is TRULY infertile. So Nathan left Natalia for a woman who is not only a manipulative bitch who betrayed her own sister, not only bad at her job as Luna, not only not as liked by the pack, but is also actually infertile, unlike Natalia, and her infertility is directly tied to uhhh not having reservations about how many partners she's had

So yeah I think I'd just share the heartbreak, anger, and delicious irony of this story. It's actually part of a series that I would recommend, The Ivory Queen is book one and The Silent Alpha is book 2, although I haven't really noticed if it's necessary to finish The Ivory Queen before starting TSA, since I haven't finished Ivory Queen yet (it's like over 80 chapters. Do you know how long these stories can take when you've got 10 minute long chapters 😩 I've been trying to avoid longer stories because they cost more but this series is so cute)

[the0ldmann]

Shaun and MC get into a small argument over his newest project.

"Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack" is adult only media, and the associated fandom is an adult only space. Minors and ageless blogs are reminded to stay away or they will be blocked on sight.

Writing below the cut.

"You're going to do WHAT?!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. I know you don't like horror, but this is a little out of character don't you think? What's got you so worked up?"

Shaun was standing there confused while Ian was in the background holding a blue wig and looking as equally perplexed. It was clear by the expression on your face you were angry as hell, fists clenched at your side.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! Why the hell should I calm down when you're defacing some poor man's legacy?!"

"It's not defacing a legacy it's- look. We were hired by the company to make a horror movie about a character they've had sitting in a vault. It's not like that character is modeled after anyone real!"

"Excuse me, but some guy trying to make sense of his life, takes on the role, gets killed in the role so it's all he was ever known for, and the company apparently erases any trace of him or the role if the fact internet searches turning up nothing means anything. You look at all of that and tell me that taking this story and turning it into some spooky mumbo-jumbo isn't defacing a legacy. Go on."

"When you put it like that, it certainly doesn't sound good. B-but it's just a character, and this is our breakout chance! It's not like you knew the man yourself or his family, so why the hell is this striking such a nerve?"

"You know what, I can't do this anymore right now." A proper response was not something you could think of without giving away Jack's precarious existence, so you turned around and stormed off with a huff. You slammed the door to your bedroom behind you. Leaning against it, you closed your eyes and slid down to the floor. Your breathing was ragged and you were shaking as you could feel gloved hands pick you up off the floor.

Gently Jack placed you on your bed and then swiftly went over to lock the door. You were already starting to curl up when he came over to lay down next to you.

"Hey, Sunshine, are you alright?" All you could do was shake your head as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close.

"No. I can't believe what they're doing. You're a person too, and I just-"

"Shhh," Jack was doing his best to calm you, "I know, and I appreciate you standing up for me. But you've got me more worried about you! I've never seen you this worked up before, and anyone being this worked up is liable to say things they regret or even hurt themselves on accident. You being hurt because of me is the last thing I want."

"I know, I know, I just..." You struggled to even your breathing. Jack held you close while you proceeded to silently cry into his chest. You were scared. People were assholes, and if this movie made it big like everyone- like the studio- wanted, then it was going to be impossible for Jack to avoid facing it. You knew he was set in the ways of this character, you knew and you've grown to accept it.

But had Jack come to fully accept it? How was this going to affect him? Was he going to break down at all in the barrage of what people were going to see him as? Especially if that something just wasn't him?

You didn't know how he'd handle it at all. If he broke down, if he disappeared and you lost him and were left all alone again...

"Hey," you could feel him rubbing circles into your back. "We're going to figure this out, okay? If they won't listen to reason, then there's got to be a way to stop the project."

meanwhile...

"Dude, what the fuck was that about?" Ian went back to trying to fluff and style the wig, though it was hard to focus after that outburst.

"You mean to tell me you don't have a clue what would have set them off, despite having known them the longest and having also dated them at one point? No wonder the two of you are ex's."

"Hey! That's uncalled for!"

"So was that outburst. Really don't have a clue what could have prompted that?"

"No, not a single one. You were right, that was extremely out of character for them."

Shaun sighed, throwing down some papers and leaning against the table. Ian only looked up briefly to see that he actually looked worried.

"What, you're not actually taking what they're saying to heart, are you?"

"They make a valid point but that's not what I'm concerned about."

"There's something else to be concerned about?"

"You might want to take a seat."

As confused by everything as Ian was, he was more curious as to what the hell Shaun was talking about. He put the wig up and walked over to the table, taking a seat. Shaun kept looking around, and it was about a solid minute before he was able to look at Ian.

"I've been doing digging- on the actors from the old show and I found... Well, there might be something that could throw a wrench into our plans. Rather unfortunately, it might have something to do with your dad..."

[angelg0tchi]

suuuuper sappy and lame post incoming:

i want to thank you all SO much for being here. like, both as my followers, and in general.

i've been on tumblr since 2011 - some of you have known me since i was sleeepykitty, or kadessa (i completely forget what my url was in between those two, lmao). i'm probably best known for posts of my favorite anime girl (and the bizarre discourse that circulated in that era), kidcore photos, and (for the real angelg0tchi-saga veterans), my "NO WIFIN' IN THE CLUB" post that got me like 337294237438 notes ~back in the day,~ lol.

anyway, like, eight years ago, i accidentally deleted my entire account when trying to delete a sideblog (i cried really hard, LOL), so my ~tumblr legacy~ is kind of gone at this point (which, for me, is super sad, because i would have loved to have looked back on younger-me's posts ;w;)

but!!! i digress. there are 1600 of you now (!!!!) who still enjoy my posts - whether it's just my reblogs, my personal content, a combination of both, or you're just a spam bot - and that's amazing!!!! i'm so grateful, seriously.

sometimes, i feel like maybe this site is dying. but, i hope that's never the case. i made lifelong friends here that i've met in-person, and still talk to every day. i had mutuals years ago that i still wonder about, and hope they're doing okay. i adore this silly little place.

the world is harsh, and weird, and difficult so much of the time. but, i think these little corners of the internet - where we can share what we love as though it were a digital scrapbook - are so special. there may be a time that doesn't exist anymore, so i cherish every second.

now that i'm writing this, it seems like it would have been better suited for a new year's post, lol. it also makes it very apparent that the internet is almost my entire universe, which is a little sad, probably. BUT WHATEVER, that doesn't matter. the point is, i really appreciate you all. the day i stop posting is an icy cold day in hell (i was given internet access in 2001, and I'M STILL HERE BABY!!!!), so take some solace in the fact that even if the world turns to, like, fallout: new vegas or something, i will still find a way to put pancakes and calico critters on your dashboard.

thank you all!!! even if you post things that are completely outside of my realm of understanding or interest, i'm so happy you're here, sharing what you love.

mmmmwah have an amazing day ♡