#so apparently the internet doesn't think I exist as a real person

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

So my older sister has decided to do that thing where you google your own name to see what information about yourself is on the internet up for grabs by information brokers and guess what?

As far as the internet is concerned I don't actually exist as anything beyond being one of my sister's aliases.

Though my sister technically has two entries on this website.

The one under our merged identity (her first name, my middle name, my last name which is also her maiden name), which is also seemingly merged with a random 3rd women who neither of us know. Which also has my birthday listed, but has no known relatives or associates listed (because that person doesn't exist).

Then another under her current name, which changed when she got married. Which fails to list her birthday or phone number, but does have her connected to various other people. Like her husband's family are all listed as relatives, but our mom is just listed as someone she might know.

Though we think there's still some influence of the random 3rd women who's part of the other entry, because she's also listed as knowing or being related to a bunch of people that neither of us know.

Current theory is that the weird jankey amalgam of 3 different women identity profile is actually supposed to be me.

I think me and her (original) online identities got merged when Google bought Youtube.

At e point before the merger, I had let her use my yahoo to sign up for a Youtube account, after she lost the password to her previous account. Even though I already had an account using that same yahoo (which I knew was weird and broken to be able to do that in the first place).

After the merger our two separate Youtube accounts got merged because they were using the same email address. Specifically my account got cannibalized by her account more or less, because I wasn't able to access my original Youtube account at all after that, and attempting to use my log in sent me to the account she'd made using my yahoo as the email.

Which was then furthered by the fact that we would use eachother's emails for stuff pretty frequently.

Like if we wanted a free trial for a streaming service because there was a show on there we wanted to watch, if my sister didn't have a random email that could be used (she has so many email addresses nowadays, I don't know how she keeps track of them) we'll just use mine.

Or using each other's email addresses as recovery emails.

Where this random 3rd women comes in I'm not sure, but it's her email address that's currently listed on this dossier, which would explain why I don't get spam emails at all.

There are various stuff like my old facebook account that I've been locked out of since the early 2010s and the third person could have just stolen.

So the 3rd woman could be an attempted identity thief who got screwed over by the internet thinking I am but already someone else's false identity.

[zephyr-ro-emenki]

Random Batfam Headcanon's #15:

(continuation of Headcanon #12)

One of Steph's personal favorite posts was a video she posted titled "Ranking my Father(in-law)'s former lovers" and she has an entire Tier maker list created, that doesn't use any real pictures of the Lovers, just out of context photos that only people in the know would know.

Selina's picture is just a random picture of her actual Cats ("She's Chatty, she's able to help me whenever I forget my Keys, She's able to Acquire the best Christmas presents! A Tier.")

Thalia's is a picture of the stereotypical Witches Cauldron filled with a green liquid ("She's Rich, she has an army of Assassins at her beck and call, Dad was apparently Happy when he was with her??? Unfortunately, she's in a very patriarchal dominant home life with her birth family, her father forcibly broke off the relationship, and she STILL hasn't sent me a Birthday Gift!!! C Tier. Buuuutttt she mothered the current Robin, so, for him, I'll bump her up to a B.")

Harvey's picture was just a ¢50 piece she found while walking around that had a lot of grime on one half of the coin ("I'm not fully sure about this one, I never met them when they were sane, but apparently they were really good friends. It's not going so well now, so I'll put it at a C Tier.")

Harley's Photo was literally just a Selfie of Steph with Harley's Jacket draped over her head ("This one is being put into an immediate D Tier, not because they weren't Wholesome (I've heard stories), but Because she is finally happy and in a stable relationship with her own Girlfriend, and honestly me and my own relationship partner view them as Goals for our own relationship. She's also currently his therapist, so D Tier.")

Steph was completely silent as she moved The random Image of a Joker Card to a Tier Below F titled "The most Toxic relationship you will ever see"

The internet exploded when people noticed the 2 images at S Tier, one of them being Wonder Woman's Logo, and the other being Superman's iconic S emblem, but a pair of wedding bands were laid atop the S. ("Look, Princess {referring to the WW Logo} is both his second eldest's favorite person in the world, but she is also the biggest female goal any of us can have. They are adorable, they are funny, this man had to serenade a group of people just so he can save her ass. If that's not love, what is? S Tier. Now, as for the Couple {referring to the Superman Logo}, Dad has somehow been shepherded into an existing relationship, and I think the wife in that relationship just assumed that they also got our dad as a package deal with her own legal husband. Yes, they had THAT bad of a pining for each other. I, sadly, was not around to see the forming of the relationship, but it was reportedly the most awkward 3 years of Coworkers pining after each other anybody has ever seen, and if it wasn't for the Couples Youngest inheriting the "special trait" of the husband of that relationship, we'd be sat here questioning who the father was. It's also, like, the biggest bragging right, so S Tier.")

And then finally there was just a picture of a Bat. ("This man has an almost unhealthy relationship with the Bats in his mancave. He's named all of them. Well, his eldest named all of the original ones, he's just... Continued to name all the new one's that migrate into the cave?? He gets them vaccinated and takes them to the Vet??? B Tier, I'm putting them above Robin's Mom.")

[ranchstoryblog]

Fandom Memories: HMFarm

Hmmm. So, nearly a quarter of you whippersnappers wanna hear about the good ol' days, huh? Well, back in the day, you wouldn't just hang out on one or two big websites to try to find people who shared your niche interests among a million random users. Everything had its own dedicated site, with its own special pack of weirdos that you probably wouldn't find anywhere else. Home grown fandom, sprouting from the cement sidewalks of the freshly paved internet like so many weeds with pretty little flowers on top. So, let's take a little stroll down memory lane and visit one of the oldest fan sites with Archive.org's "Wayback Machine."

Ahh, just like I remember it. This here is "Harvest Moon Farm." 'course, we just called it HMFarm, like the URL did. This used to be the place to be. The prime progenitor of all farmin' fansites in the English speaking community. Maybe not the literal first, but up until around 2005, this was where you would go if you wanted to know anythin' about digital farmin'. It truly was a magical place to visit.

This screenshot isn't the oldest design, but it's the one I fondly remember. The majority of my time using the site was during the lead-up to A Wonderful Life, which was probably also when it was the most active as an information source. Seeing the screenshots, checking the forums, speculatin', wonderin', dreamin'... It's a warm feeling. I can't really describe how it felt to look at these shots for the first time. Granted, they were mostly sourced from various places like IGN or Newtechnix, but who wanted to go to THOSE messy sites when all the info I wanted was right here? IGN wasn't telling me how to revive the Vineyard in Harvest Moon 64 while I was waiting for AWL news either.

Our first look at the character we would come to know as Muffy, the sheer novelty of being able to go into the townsfolk's glorious, 3D-rendered rooms, the apparent misidentification of flowering tomatoes... The webmaster, Gamergirl87, would caption each one as well. Some of the captions of those screenshots ended up not being exactly true, but it was the closest thing to on-going coverage we really had. Who else was there to trust?

It's a little off topic, but I think at one point after learning about the GBA connectivity, I must have dreamed about this very gallery and seeing a screenshot of a Gamecube-ized Popuri with the caption that Mineral Town villagers would visit after connecting the GC and GBA together. At least, I'm pretty sure it was a dream. I've met some people who claim they saw the same thing, but none of us have been able to find that screenshot or comment again.

The one that would most catch my attention was the one on the left here. I didn't have a PlayStation 2, so I was coming fresh off of the GameBoy and Nintendo 64 when going into A Wonderful Life. The pond, the mysterious glowing plants, the mood and ambiance of their lighting, the little tree on the door... Naturally, I mirrored it on my first day the remake was available.

It's a real shame that the message boards are poorly preserved, since it doesn't look like there was a news post about the pre-order plush cow. I was hoping to find the name of whoever it was that convinced me to commit my first ever preorder. I still have the receipt, but without the forum post it's really only tangentially related to HM Farm.

'course, just learning about existing games and upcoming games wasn't the only good thing HM Farm was for. As I alluded to, there was a whole community here! While it's a shame that the message boards aren't well preserved by the Wayback Machine, you know what is?

The "ideas" list! This incredible time capsule was one of the first "interactive" parts of the site, starting in the year 2000. It's kind of fun to see how many of these ideas actually happened. Obviously, new characters and personalities were probably expected, but Animal Parade would eventually feature a honeymoon, several games have clothing and other customization, a mall, city, and pig would be added as soon as GBC 3, a goat would be in A Wonderful Life... It's actually amazing how prescient a lot of the suggestions are.

I'd share the whole thing, but the amount of e-mail addresses involved gives me pause. Still, there's a couple I wanna highlight:

Considering how often I still hear about people wanting to marry the moms and people attributing it to just "the fans getting older," it's funny to see Laserion lay out that, no, we've always been like this. Right down to using Manna's unhappy marriage and Lillia's husband never returning as valid reasons they should be available.

Tuan145, on the other hand, I just find extremely amusing because of the specific "2002 Escalade" part. Yes, this is clearly the ideal vehicle for all farmers in the Story of Seasons universe. This is now accepted headcanon. The boat was added in GBC 3 too, so obviously a 2002 Escalade is going to be added any day now.

Another thing that's amazingly well preserved is the site's fan art section. There's a few missing images here and there, but for the most part the entire thing is open to explore. People of basically all ages and skill levels happily submitted their creations, including original characters, digital art, traditional art, crossovers with popular series like Sailor Moon, a liiittle bit of drug use... Y'know, all the kinds of things you'd expect to see in a fan art gallery of the day.

Even better, some of the artists are still doing art today! Looking around, I quickly discovered one of my favorites, Rina Cat, is now on Blue Sky. I made sure to ask for permission to repost their art before including it here. Reaching out to everyone would be a bit much though, so I'll just encourage you to just browse the gallery using the Wayback Machine yourself. There's poetry and fanfics too!

There's a lot more to the site, including useful bits of history like keeping track of release dates for games, pre-release screenshots, and information that was only available on Japanese websites at the time, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Unfortunately, though the site continued to be updated until 2010 and stayed online until 2021, it's no longer available on the regular internet and the URL doesn't seem safe to access anymore. I wanted to include an interview with the former webmaster as well, but all their readily available contact information was tied to the website and I haven't had any luck so far in finding other means of contact. If I have any success, I'll be sure to make a follow-up! If you have any memories of HMFarm, or other fan sites, I'd be happy to hear about it.

[anistarrose]

So the thing is, if people ship characters who are explicitly not into romance (whether aromantic or otherwise), that ultimately doesn't affect me on a level beyond "annoyance" — I can blacklist tags, and blacklist or block people who don't tag it. What I have to ask myself every time I see these things, however, is this:

"Does this reflect how this person feels about romance-averse people in real life? Does this reflect how this person treats romance-averse people in real life?"

Because how someone engages with fiction doesn't have to be a reflection of how they treat real people, obviously — and in this case, I would of course hope that it isn't. But if you know anything about what being aromantic is like, in real life or on the Internet... you'll understand why I'm not optimistic.

Thinking two characters are so cute together that you reject a bunch of their characterization to make it happen is just annoying, not a crime! But the second you make the leap to telling a real human person things like:

"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you just won't realize that you and X would make such a cute couple,"

or:

"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you're clearly just in denial which the Right Person has to come along and fix,"

or:

"But — but — but not falling in love is just so tragic! I want you to be happy, not sad and lonely your whole life!"

like the rationales that apparently motivate so many people to ship? Then that has crossed the line into harming real people.

I don't actually think that shipping aromantic characters is the primary cause in the cause-effect diagram, when it comes to the correlating the shipping with "likelihood to say these terrible, invalidating, autonomy-undermining things to real people." Precisely, I don't think it's a cause to a meaningful degree when you compare with the opposite direction — I think people who say these things to real aromantics (or anyone else who just isn't interested!), because of what they think about these real people, are in turn more likely to think amatonormative things about fictional characters. I think that there exists a feedback loop to some extent, because fiction can influence people's beliefs to some degree, but it's not symmetric. Real-life amatonormativity causes mass amatonormativity in fandom spaces.

So... at this point, do you see why aromantic people in fandom get a little defensive about aro characters, and about other characters who overlap with aro experiences? You see why we get kind of pissy when people very selectively throw a very specific part of their characterization out the window? You see why we maybe don't want to associate with those people? Why it makes us so uncomfortable?

"Stop shipping romance-repulsed characters," in my opinion, is a understandable outcry from the community that I obviously sympathize with — but it nevertheless conceals the core of the issue, especially from non-aromantics who aren't living with amatonormativity shoved down their throats at all times, and therefore might not be able to read between the lines. At the core, this isn't actually a debate about the morality of shipping in fiction, despite overlap with that discourse on the surface.

The real cry for change isn't "stop shipping that character." It's "start accepting me for who I am, without trying to either undermine or mourn it at every opportunity." Because at the moment, the overlap between people who erase fictional aromanticism and real aromanticism is significant — and even where they don't overlap, you know what? Romance-averse folks just trying to live in peace can't fucking tell the difference.

[coolwhipdinosaur]

i am pretty big in profic spaces but i cant go into the tags now without heavy filtering because of all this pro para things.

i understand that simply being a pedophile isnt harmful in itself, its being a predator that is harmful,

yet i come to proship for fiction and propara is not that.

Its talking about real life attraction, often to beings that cannot consent. I hope you understand that arguements like that.

Ive also seen far too many pro-c, and blogs where its apparently real minors solicting real adults (Reporting them gets them taken down thankfully), that it needs to be talked about besides "not everyone is like that."

Even with anti-c, you shouldn't even need to SAY that you are anti c because it should be ASSUMED yet I guess because the amount of pro c, it cant be.

I hope you can see how antic can be used as a lie for predators to gain trust also. Its like 101 not to trust people on the internet yknow

I hope this is understandable and reasonable, not looking for a fight just a chat

This is probably gonna be a bit jumbled but I'm gonna try and respond as coherently as I can. Also I say this at the end but anyone who has been in the proship space on Tumblr for a while please do give your own answers if possible too. I've only had this account for a few months so I haven't seen too much drama go down. There is a kind of tldr at the end of this

So 1. Your first point about not being able to go to these tags without filtering. You do have to curate your own experience at the end of the day. It's how the internet works. People will post things in places and you just have to learn to block and move on. I've been triggered a few times scrolling and have had to quickly block. But that's just how it is. It sucks sometimes but people will post what they want where they want

2. Profiction + proship are inherently discourse tags. You will find discourse everywhere as that is their main purpose anymore. And since a lot of paras use fiction to cope with their disorders, it's bound to come up in a discourse-centric tag. And thoughtcrimes aren't real. What someone says they think about doesn't matter as long as they don't act on it. As long as posts are tagged properly for discussion, at that point you just need to block the appropriate tags. Shame on anyone you find not tagging things right, but most tend to as far as I've seen at least

3. I've personally not seen many pro-c in the proship tag. Maybe one or two I've seen. Either way, I have seen many callouts about people who call themselves proship who then have become predators more than I've ever seen anyone say they're pro-c in the tags. So if those callouts aren't enough, then please say what more there is to do to expose these people. And of course we say we're not all like that because antis love to use one bad person as a gotcha moment, it's not about just putting it there performatively.

And also I do want to know what tag you are finding these on mostly since I've never seen much. I mean, I only browse the proship tag so I may be missing some in other tags. To anyone seeing this do comment/reblog the places you've seen pro-c accounts in tags because I am curious where they're at. I know those accs exist but where? Am I just really blind? I do miss tags sometimes

4. I think most uses of anti-contact boil down to most people assuming para = predator more than pro-c accounts being everywhere. That's just how I've mostly seen it. That's why I put it there anyway.

If i missed any point I apologize. I think I gor most of them?

[TLDR-esc section]

So a summary, it's normal if these discussions are uncomfortable, but you can't censor people from talking about it in spaces where they are put into a tough place most times. Afterall, proship = anti-censorship. Blocking tags for your own mental wellbeing is very good and I highly recommend it.

If you think the callouts people make when they do find predators in these places aren't enough or don't happen as much as they should, then what can be changed?

I hope this is coherent and as unargumentive as I could get it (just got off a 10 hr shift). Anyone else feel free to respond as well. I'm not that old in this community so I don't have as much experience as some of yall do for some of these things so insight is appreciated

[nishnormp]

thinking way too hard about things that probably do not need this much thought

In lieu of tfc merc brainrot, I have decided to do some historical research and character workshopping to shape out the details of everything needed in ficwriting. I have nothing else to post (my art is not going well) so I might as well scream about this

P1: TF2 alternate history bullshit

Abraham Lincoln inventing rocket jumping before the existence of stairs, the entire thing with Australium, so on. Despite TFC having modern kevlar (as opposed to looney toons weapons, but a bit about that later) and a more serious/gritty tone, the setting is still within the TF2 universe; which means having a weird fusion of irl history and vaguely reasonable fantasy absurdities.

To clarify, I am not a bona fide history nut who knows absolutely everything (ffs my own country's history doesn't even play much in western incidents). I've just been doing research thru online articles, videos, and talking to other ppl who know more than me, so my brain can lack a bit for certain things; do correct me if I get anything wrong.

By the 1850s (estimation) Australia became a tech giant due to discovering Australium, making insane progress in basically every field (and also making their population very jacked). Newfound inventions also require raw resources, and this page confirms that australians pick their leader mostly based on pure strength, which begs the question; are they still connected to Britain? Would there still be a benefit for them to be linked to Britian the way they are?

There are many cases where nations plunder other nations just for natural resources; Britian is one particularly infamous force with many colonies, which makes me wonder if Australia ever resorted to snatching them just to afford all the material components that their tech requires. Australia was part of the British Empire up until 1901 irl (not too far from 1890), but the question about resources and sovereignty(even if symbolic) still remain (Britain likely wouldn't like a territory growing at terrifying and eventually unmanageable rates, and at that rate I doubt Australia would settle for middling trade margins)

(Well, apparently Saxton owns England. But that was when he discovered the internet)

There's also the ensemble of first gen mercs. RED and BLU recruit progressively less important mercs as time goes on, starting from important historical/media figures, to modern militant professional-lookin dudes, and finally to the current crop of crackheaded TF2 mercs we know and love. The Original mercs I mostly want to focus on are Abraham Lincoln and John Henry.

I'm not exactly sure if John Henry is even a real person, but he was a symbol for labor movements and the civil rights movement; the fact that he IS a real person in TF2 lore is p vital methinks, especially since him and Lincoln seem to be on the same team. Mercs are paid a lot, even the "bottom of the barrel" tf2 ones: scout has his merch collection to show for it, medic has his exotic animal parts, heavy has his gun ammo (and also casually gave a child 7k dollars), etc; could John Henry have spearheaded civil rights movements not just in America but also other territories (like africa) with the bread and merits he got for the job? Does he have a legacy with rouge merc groups (armed unions?) that fight against imperialism? Maybe even effect/radicalize Lincoln about some things??? Unethical business practices still persist even in Saxton's era (hell, he's an example) but maybe the (hypothetical) challenges to Britain's grasp on its colonies and evolution of munitions would give the people an edge.

I have no idea how a drastically colony-less Britain would affect the timeline of WW1 (esp in less popular side-wars like in South Africa where Britain was very much involved, which may be problematic since my interp of cmedic is FROM there but anyways) (btw they only won that bc they out-attritioned Germany, but by that point maybe the dutch or the americans would take over), but surprisingly enough WW2 ends at around the same time it does irl, despite my initial thought that a roided-out Allied Australia would be more than capable of turning the Axis Powers into a skidmark. The likely explanation for that is that the finer details were just not important for the tf2 comics that took place AFTER (fair enough), but as someone planning to write the 1930s mercs . Pain . My working explanation is that seemingly unaligned private contractors can get ahold of weapons easier than Certain governments, which makes mercs more popular than national soldiers for carrying out certain missions (plausible employer deniability baybeeee).

P2: Conflicting class meta - CHeavy edition

Onto something less heavy, another part of ficwriting is figuring out how characters are...characterized. The TFC mercs dont have much canonical info (I've already turned two of them into straight up ocs because I am NOT going to write p3dos from start to finish of a longfic) so I settle for looking at other things, like gameplay and ingame roles.

The first I focused on was cheavy, the leader of the group. Grouchy, but a surprisingly tolerant team player.

This IS reused from a previous post (im lazy) but the first bullet basically says "otherwise, offensive heavies are frequently looked down on and the power of the other team's defense will have you dead in no time". Gameplay-wise, CHeavy is considered the simplest class and the easiest one to master; most tfc gamers think its a common noob pick. His total health is pretty good, he occupies a big space so he can block narrow paths, and the way he attacks is simple; but he's slow even when b-hopping (grenades cant boost him either) so he can be outrun/picked apart by other classes, which really shows in tfc's most popular game format: capture the flag.

I've seen about a handful video of tfc gameplay that WASN'T ctf (or the slightly diff gamemode with a defense system), and even if the 4th bullet point is right, those two classes are usually doing more important things during ctf. My main point is that despite being the leader, he isn't the type of class to lead the charge.

The most reasonable thing I can think of is that he's just . Really good at strategy and can keep track of his team while reliably holding down a position. That, and his superior bulk makes him shine more outside of the gravel pits. Whatever it is, it does make more sense to me now that I revisit the comic panels where he is VERY spiteful that his teammates got killed (rather than calling them weak, they fr matter to him bc otherwise, he isn't getting shit done)

(Ik the reason hes the boss is bc big scary dude and karmic ass-handing via other heavy who actually respects his doctor but shh the fic demands reasons)

P3: Conflicting class meta - Cmedic edition

The contradiction I can immediately clock is the fact that cmedic never gets mentioned despite his omnipresence in his original game. Most hc's I've seen interpret him as the exact opposite of the current medic, which is a dedicated doctor who also happens to be a sweetheart (with very rare exceptions), but may I propose the theory that all mannco medic mercs are bastards? I'm 99% sure that the original medic was sigmund freud. TF2 medic is just a menace. Post WW1 most moral and noble medics would bust their asses at hospitals rather than sign up to a contract tying them down to just healing 8 other people and killing other people over and over, but that's just my hc (we're all making shit up, might as well have fun with it).

The most common citing for cmed's hidden menace energy is his virus weaponry, but I think his ingame role also shows it pretty well. Practically taking the scout's niche and making it less punishing by having straight upgrades of his two weapons, giving healing utility AND also being able to sniff out spies like a cscout (he can't diffuse bombs or trail caltrops, but he's already powerful as is). Imagine being cscout, having to compete for flag capture points with this guy who practically has everything you have but better (instead of leaving behind super visible spikes he has a college degree). This isn't even like the modern sniper vs spy debate where it can still be debated that spy has a unique niche with his mindgames, cmedic just straight up took copied his homework, 98% percent matching on the plagiarism bot.

Cscout and cmedic beef is very likely, but if cscout is a literal god at what he does then there won't be much issue, since the best cscout is ultimately better at flagrunning than cmedic. Its likely that cscout is simply human tho, so that's some drama that can happen.

Funnily enough the tfc class that gets the most weight and hate on its shoulders is sniper. This is because servers have a limit on how many snipers can join, and if a shitty sniper took up the slots, the rest of the team would be pretty pissed. Meanwhile, a competent sniper is the bane of every player's existence; a missed shot can still slow someone down until a medic cures them.

P4: cmedic backstory building hell - barely organized nonsense

Last one I swear. My drawings of cmedic explicitly portray him as a person of color- more specifically a cape malay, from the cape territory in South Africa; he even curses in malay in one of the posts. Ig I wanted the cast to be more diverse, but it did make his backstory somewhat harder to write.

Mann co is situated in New Mexico, far from SA. How and why did he get all the way there? With the fanon worldbuilding I set, what is stopping him from simply joining a nearer merc group? Probably heard of it through the grapevine, and travelled for fat stacks; wouldn't be uncommon for doctors (or mercs) to be highly motivated due to money. I wondered of what would set him apart from all the other hypothetical medic applicants that probably graduated from upstanding colleges like harvard, then I recall all those common hcs.

1)Most applicants assumed that the job would consist of primarily healing, without considering how bloodthirsty their company would be, and/or 2)the BLU team has been getting genuine medics and chewing them up like gum (and spitting them out utterly mangled, I suppose). There's also the possibility that some margin of these medics actually had some weapon training, but at that point a lot of time has been spent (also some conflicting motives there, I can't imagine the perks that a deadly merc job has over a hospital job unless the guy got a kick out of it).

My next idea was to make him a ww1 vet on the side of the British (australian? american?) colonies of SA, having joined midway after finishing his education. However this would clock his age during the current 1970s timeline to be around 81, pretty old; most of the tfc mercs would be 70s max around that time. Cmedic is visually the youngest of the mercs too, you can compare his smooth eyes to the more sunken cspy's eyes and there is a notable difference. This is really just an issue of me being on the fence about fully oc-fying him (a friend of him suggested making him a vampire, I am almost tempted to make it so).

In the case that particular hurdle is overcome, there are more details I have to iron out. I figured that his motives either come from wanting to financially help out his family after the war's sheer devastation, or just . a general resentment for the way things unfolded, and he swapped to merc work in the states to get properly paid for his work and (attempt to) fill the void in his soul. Maybe a mix of the two. An outlier in his community for being a godless man and having very material and tangible masters (science and money), he abandons the lofty ideals of nationalism and sides himself with the highest bidder in the private market. Also developed an insane immune system (trenches and exposure are no joke).

(Certain classes have shared characteristics across gens, like the demos' deranged smiles and engies' wholesome vibes. With sigmund freud, tf2 medic as the archetypal mad doctor, and tfc medic as the archetypal capitalist doctor, there are now three gens of doctors with dubious machinations.)

He'd probably be a great medic, respecting merc code and all (funfact tf2 medic mentions tfc demo by name, implying that he knows his real name and putting a dent in my theory that being on a first-name basis is a big deal actually , my countertheory to that is that grey mann gave him the team's files and tf2 medic wants to spite them). Cmedic also reverse-engineered the medkit and made a new version for non-gravel war missions, since the usual has several hard drugs (heals to full instantly and gives adrenaline boost, sounds sus especially if you read jarate's side effects) since he ended up somewhat caring about his pack of rabid animals

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Imho people put too much in the houses. Like they're basically just social cliques, and the sorting hat was definitely taking into account what would or wouldn't destroy their social lives.

I mean, people put as much into houses as the characters seem to put into houses.

For the characters houses are meaningful, they are social cliques and I'm sure the Sorting Hat pays attention to the social situation the student would be in, but there is an element to these traits, to the values a student has when sorted. But more importantly, wizards think about them as so much more. They are a sign of status, legacy, and worth. Like, little 11-year-old Draco says he'd just leave if he was sorted into Hufflepuff because, in his mind, it would mean he isn't worthy of the other "better" houses.

And Draco isn't the only one. Hagrid calls all of Slytherin Evil, practically all the professors play favorites, Ron is worried over not being in Gryffindor because all his family is in Gryffindor, Neville worries about being in Gryffindor because he doesn't think he is worthy of the house reputation because of what his grandmother told him, and students repeatedly fall into the trap of "Wait, why aren't you at X house?" When someone's behavior deviates slightly from the stereotype of their own house. Like, Terry Boot, when told Hermione cast a NEWT Gemino charm, asks her: "How come you aren't in Ravenclaw?" Because they're supposed to be the smart guys.

Basically, the Wizarding World treats houses like a Big Deal. Even adults who graduated decades ago still have pride in their own house. Actually, there are real-world examples of things like that.

I mean, school houses are a British commonwealth thing that exists in public boarding schools. In these irl houses, students take pride in their house, wear their house colors, and are incredibly competitive with other houses. There are schools that apparently have family houses, an in, if a student's sibling/child arrives at the school, they'd go to the same house as their family member.

(I got this from reading online, as I never encountered a school like this irl, but the internet tells me they exist)

But if we talk about something I'm more familiar with, I taught in a sorta summer course thing for teenagers, and we divided the students there into classes since there were over a hundred of them. There wasn't really a difference between the classes, but each class had its name, symbol, and colors (and different staff members), and the students' tribal instincts kicked in. They got super competitive with the other classes and had their closest friends basically exclusively within their own class. We often caught them making fun of other students for being in another class (something that meant literally nothing). So the staff put a lot of effort into creating activities for the entire group without class separation to try and fight that.

Humans are tribal creatures, we have a built-in mechanism that tells us to come together in groups and think our group is the best. A house system just happens to kick that instinct into gear, but it's always there.

So, it's not that weird that that's how Hogwarts houses are treated in universe, and the fandom gives them the same importance characters in universe seem to give them. Because to them they are that important.

(Of course, not all characters have the exact same opinion about the house system. There are adults in the Wizarding World that don't actually care, but then there are many who do)

Now, houses aren't necessarily a bad thing, humans have this tribal instinct for a reason. We need to feel like we're part of a community, a sense of belonging is something most people seek be it subconsciously or consciously. And there is joy in being part of something that has a long history and that you can be proud of. The problem is when these groups start to define people more than their own person as an individual does. And, shockingly, I don't think the Wizarding World has that problem on a cultural level.

Like Scabior says:

“So you aren’t wanted, then, Vernon? Or are you on that list under a different name? What house were you in at Hogwarts?” “Slytherin,” said Harry automatically. “Funny ’ow they all think we want to ’ear that.” leered Scabior out of the shadows.

(DH, 386)

Houses aren't everything. Even a Slytherin who knows where the common room is but has a suspicious name and says Voldemort's name is cause for suspicion. Being a proven Slytherin doesn't necessarily save you because they don't expect all Slytherins to back them. Because there are those who don't and they seem very aware of it. We also don't really see jobs that are reserved for certain houses.

I think some wizards do generalize more based on houses, but I think the majority of their adult population is aware that people are individuals outside of their houses.

Basically, I think the wizarding world's treatment of houses could definitely be way way better, it isn't as bad as it could be (which isn't a high bar since I expect the worst from the Wizarding World).

[betterbemeta]

Not to navigate a nuanced topic or anything but you all understand that 'having a fetish for' is different from 'fetishizing', right? And that being sex-positive doesn't mean that everything's a free-for-all?

'having a fetish' is something that exists within the person who holds it. It's not inherently bad or good to have a fetish. Societal norms define what even is a fetish. A culture that doesn't associate breasts with sex will find a fixation on breasts to be weird, etc.

But 'fetishizing' something is to project over other people's bodies, forcing them to bear or play out those inner beliefs you hold. The fetishization of bodies can be system-wide, bigger than a single person, and often is. It is a form of violence that deletes the agency and personhood of the fetishized body in favor of how that body can be possessed or controlled.

The reason I am bringing this up is that while statements of desire are like... allowed... maybe understand that we all participate in power dynamics on the internet that may not be instantly apparent. Even if you create sexual art, write poetry, openly express your desires to your friends, which ARE all normal... you (probably) wouldn't in real life go up to complete strangers unsolicited and state, AWOOGA! I want to be choked by a redhead tonight! When this does happen in real life, it usually is considered to be sexual harassment, or creating an atmosphere of sexual harassment. Even if you're not talking directly to the redhead you're thirsty for.

And like. There's a difference between "I'm sexually excited by this art, the fat woman in it looks hot," however you want to say that, and getting followed out of the blue from a blog that contains posts like, 'I want to feed her until her belly pops' which is about control of the bodies of others, for sexual gratification. Anybody ethically engaging in that type of play would be doing so with mutual consent, it would be a kink scene and not fetishization of bodies that just exist out in the world, neutral of what someone wants from them.

Before you post or add tags, or follow on your kink side blog, think, am I putting this into a space where everyone's mutually consented? Is it a statement that would be protected by social freedom of expression or would it be considered an unsolicited sexual advance by a reasonable (see: not a homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic) standard? If it came in a large volume, (like, hundreds of messages and not just yours), would that context change?

I'm anything but the sex police; I want everyone to be as nasty as is safe for them to be, but. Typical netiquette doesn't cover this stuff, how power can turn what's normally private and none of anyone else's business into someone else's business in a big way.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Hi! I have some IWTV qs after seeing the movie&the internet isn't helping me at all. Hoping you could! 1.I've seen book explanations for why Lestat survived the fire, but is there something I missed in the movie to explain it? 2.What did Armand mean when he said he'd die if Louis left? 3.Why was Louis so weak and feeding off rats towards the end?Traumatized by the fire or something? 4.If Louis hated being a vamp so much,why didn't he just kill himself? &my last question will be in another ask...

^1/3 5. Is a possible interpretation of the ending that Louis&Lestat are working together again? Lestat said he could go out again if he had Louis but Louis said he had to go. Lestat then somehow ends up going after the guy that Louis was just talking to? Obvi not a coincidence so maybe he's just following Louis...but what if he's doing what he said? He's going out again bc he has Louis. Louis set up Malloy; or at least did so only after his reaction to his story? Maybe a stupid theory lol. ^2/3 anyway, sorry to come at you with all these questions, I just can't find answers anywhere else. Loved the movie and would just like to understand it better. I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore? Thank you so much for any time you can give me and my questions lol! ^3/3

Wow, Anon, that's a lot of questions! Thanks for asking me 💗

The 1994 movie doesn't say how Lestat escaped the fire. In the book, Armand first tells Louis that Lestat had died, but much later, Armand tells Louis that Lestat left the theatre before Louis returned to burn it down:

Here's the script for Interview with the Vampire. It's similar, but not the same as the movie! It doesn't explain why Lestat survived the fire, but it's a fun read.

In the Vampire Lestat, Lestat says Armand took him by carriage to Magnus's tower after the trial, and after Claudia died, probably before the fire.

Hit the jump, cut for length.

2. Armand needed Louis to "quicken him once more," but he wasn't really dying in the physical sense. It's more like he saw in Louis a way to live again, having a new relationship with a New World vampire and experiencing the technology and culture with Louis is a reason to live. In the books, Armand forms a relationship with the interviewer Daniel, and they explore technology, culture, etc. of the time together (it's in Queen of the Damned). Armand wanted that kind of companion in Louis but Louis wasn't interested.

3. I think you meant Lestat? Bc Louis isn't eating rats at the end, it's Lestat. Lestat was weak from surviving the fire that Louis set on him before he and Claudia left for Europe, and an injury from Armand*.

*In the Vampire Lestat, he's on the roof of Magnus's tower with Armand, after Claudia's death, and Armand apparently punches Lestat off the tower, further injuring Lestat:

So, Lestat was pretty weak and horrible-looking, and would have had trouble going into places with people to kill them without freaking them out, so feeding on animals was easier:

4. Louis, deep down, didn't actually hate himself enough to want to kill himself. But he does try later in the series, depending which books you include as canon. Personally, I think Louis has conflicting feelings about how much he loves art, nature, humanity, Lestat, and the other vampires... he loves how his senses were enhanced by becoming a vampire, but it's also somewhat shameful, bc the price of those things he loves comes at the cost of continuing to take human life to fuel his existence.

I think Louis really was ready to kill himself for giving into his nature and feeding on a child, and that's really why Lestat turned Claudia, to protect Louis from the overwhelming guilt of having killed the most innocent victim. Luckily it seems like Louis didn't go for any more children, so Lestat didn't have to turn any more of them!

5. Tackling this in a separate post and I'll link to it 😎 [X]

[twirlybumblevee]

Pointers on how to respond to a victim trusting you with their story

After everything that's happened over the past week, I figured I'd offer something constructive and share some of the things I learned while I prepared for and then volunteered as a first responder / consultant for victims of all kind (not just sexual) for a few years. Just in case someone else here might ever be in that sort of situation, since it can be quite overwhelming.

While I do believe that what I'm writing down is quite helpful (at least from my own experience), this isn't the "full whole truth" that applies on every single situation, because - and that's sort of also my first point:

Every situation is different. No two stories are exactly the same, so never try and apply one case to another. Everyone deserves to be heard for themselves.

If anyone comes to you with their story (and I'm not exculding non-sexual violence or other traumatic events here), see it as a huge sign of trust. In the overwhelming amount of cases, to speak up about something traumatic that has happened to someone is incredibly hard and difficult, and if they open up to you, try and treat it and them with care and consideration. (It can get very overwhelming depending on the story, so remember to take care of yourself too.)

Your job is to offer understanding, empathy, and a safe space for the other person to talk about whatever they're ready to talk about, in their own words. Remember: It's not about you, it's about them. That means no pushing for details out of curiosity, no leading questions (an example for this would be "how did you feel?" instead of "did you feel scared/disgusted/uncomfortable/etc?"), and no telling them what they should do.

The thing you can do is to offer (because if they came to you, chances are they might be looking for help - or only an open ear). Depending on the situation (and also country, let's be real), that can mean a whole lot of things, small and big. Offer to be there to listen if they need it. Offer to take them to the hospital. Offer them distractions. Offer them sympathy and understanding. Even resources, if you're in place to offer them, for example a place to stay for the night. Offer them your help in finding professional help (because remember: you are not a professional. You can and should never replace the work of a legal consultant, therapist, doctor or the like.)

Again remember: Take care of your own mental health. You can only help so far. And if you (and them) turn anywhere, your first stop should always be a professional - not the internet.

In an ideal case, you will be able to get outside help. It might take a long time, for many of the reasons mentioned above, and more. Being ready to talk to you doesn't mean they're ready to talk to a therapist, or go to the police, or any of the sort, even in apparently very clear cut cases. Even if something happened years ago though, it can be worth getting active. It's definitely NEVER too late to get psychological help.

Some countries have initiatives that offer financial compensation to victims (because it is your government's duty to protect you from harm, and if they couldn't do that, they will at least compensate you - that's the idea). That can mean a number of things like paying for (mental and physical) therapy, operations, special aids for your home, and so on. People might not want to take advantage of these, because it can be a draining and mentally taxing process to apply for them. (Because of course, as the real world works, there will be a lot of questions about the hows and whys and whats.) It is good to know that these options might exist though. (This particular bit is heavily drawing reference from Germany, where I know for a fact that this government initiative exists. Pretty much any country has initiatives that offer professional help in all kinds of ways, especially for female victims.)

This is what I can think of right now. If I think of more, I might add on to this, but it's long enough as it is. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I hope this is a little helpful to at least some people here. :)

-- Vee

[ncruuk]

Reposting here a reply I've just typed up on AO3 to a comment I got about sending my fic to TPTB of that particular fandom's source content....in case there's people who don't know this (both in fearmongered early internet fandom history and it's current big reason not to do)

The way fanfic is connected to original content and the whole 'legal' space that AO3 and others before them helped to establish for us rather depended originally on fanfiction being never sent to showrunners/anyone connected with producing the 'official' content - because the minute they get even a hint of an idea of something existing in a fanfic, that basically makes it a toxic concept for the show itself for fear of being sued by the fanfic writer over use of 'their' element of the idea. Which has always baffled me as a fanfic writer since it seems such a big corporation mindset to react that way rather than the 'wow, people love what we made they're thinking laterally and some of these ideas are awesome and really worth thinking about' which is most fan reactions in conversation with each other.

I maybe an 'old school' fandom person who's slightly out of date on this point now, except it still applies even more strictly because it counts as 'unsolicited material' that apparently is a massive no in studio/streamer contracts with producers (thank you Neil Gaiman for explaining this so patiently on Tumblr a while back - link to one of his posts on the topic, (without tagging him here on tumblr because he's nice and doesn't need the spam referencing!)

But it is what it is, and if you want to guarantee something you read in fanfic never makes it on screen, do send it to TPTB with a flashy email subject saying 'this fanfic is so cool because X is Y' as the subject and 'bam!' not only will the email not be read or replied to, but that cool thing perhaps won't happen.

But thank you to you (and others) who suggest it periodically, I'm perfectly happy hanging out in fandom daydreaming and writing it down (albeit rather slowly at times due to real life regrettably having to take priority most of the time!)

[robotlesbianjavert]

Ten headcanons about spinner please

well you asked so nicely. okay!

10) i think i've already mentioned this in the past and some fics but despite what you expect from someone with reptile associations he's not anymore affected by the cold than any other warm-blooded person. and he knows it's a silly thing to get sensitive about but well when people assume he gets a bit heated!! so to say!!

9) he first learned how to use a knife, and in particular knife throwing tricks, from his mom, who is most of the born and bred country rep in his family and grew up with very little else to do and really needed a cool party trick. between her and toga, knife-throwing is his only surefire way to bond with women.

8) who is the biggest bara rep in league of legends. idk mordekaiser looks promising. in any case spinner's first glimmer of realizing that he is gay was accidentally stumbling upon LoL bara doujinshi, on the internet. somehow the continuing fascination for bara did not translate to real life where he keeps going gaga for weird skinny weirdos with disappointing t&a (UNTIL shigaraki's ujiko-provided glow-up)

7) his backup plan for going to the city after seeing stain on tv if he failed to find and join the league of villains was just to hit all the clubs and get laid. but as a virgin and hikkikomori he was very nervous about this option and was kind of relieved that he could just join a terrorist group instead.

6) i used this one in a fic too lmao. as a kid his claws were filed down regularly so that other kids and the rest of the town didn't freak out and think he was gonna gut them. cuz they're evil. as part of the headcanon of it all he does have weird hang-ups and

5) backseat gamer. like, pathological. much like myself as a child watching my stepbrothers play zelda or conker's bad fur day, he will sit over shigaraki's shoulder (and anyone else's i guess but he's literally so under-socialized he doesn't know anyone else who plays videogames irl. sad!) and be like i wouldn't have done that. you're supposed to go over there. why aren't you using all these cheat codes that i know (they don't work). thankfully shigaraki is cool with this cuz he loves to argue. i actually consider this canon enough given that we have now seen spinner hanging over shigaraki's shoulder as he's playing games.

4) were a tumblr equivalent to exist in bnhaverse spinner would have an account and he would try to be crazy stealth and not have it associated to any other social accounts ever and he would be a hater on it and you could not pay him to commit voter fraud for something against his morals (shipping polls) (he would have voted destiel!! he knows he is cas-coded!!) but he would create so many dummy accounts manually by hand HIMSELF like a hard worker to influence results as much as he could. without paying people. or getting bots. he has a pure hater soul.

3) related to the above spinner is a constant hater online. people ask him what does he ever like and he just regurgitates whatever video essay he watched recently that had a nice thing to say. but his hater stances are 100% original. not to say that he never Likes something about anything but he's dogshit at expressing it.

2) part of his issues is that he was very unintentionally detached from any other of his heteromorph-related family that he could relate to (a lot of the family was probably located in cities) aside from whatever parents or siblings, which contributed further to his feelings of isolation from the community he grew up in, and his heteromorphic traits were just enough more apparent compared to the immediate family that he was more targeted by the community he grew up in. so he's both discriminated and marginalized by the community, and has a harder time finding solace in his family to cope.

1 ) i must once again stand by spinner's hybistrophilia. like really specifically his true fantasy is a cool suave older man who does a lot of serial killing and is willing to take spinner under his wing and say ah i see you have a lot of potential. but then he fell in love with shigaraki. that's how you know it's true love. i guess you can argue that shigaraki is an old soul.

[icedragon1978thepermabanned]

Word of warning to anyone who plans on visiting a Raincode fanartists blog.

Important notice: not ALL artists are like this, there are kind and caring ones out there who don't treat people like outcasts.

Welcome to the world of internet. Especially gaming Fandoms and specifically the dreaded Raincode fan artist community who are apparently VERY specific on who they want their fans to be.

If you arrive at their Tumblr territory then here's some painful advice you need to follow if you are willing to survive there:

• NEVER comment any form of support whatsoever if they vent or anywhere. It doesn't matter what you say, you'd likely make a mistake that'll piss them off like you just opened the ark of commandant

• Always talk as little as possible. Like just three emojis a comment or cutsy text speak like ~uwu~ or symbles. Or even just three words at a time. Because in this day and age people can't be arsed to take part in an activity called 'reading' and have de-evolved into typing like kindergarteners/preschoolers learning how to message on one of the first texting phones that existed.

• Worship their artwork, and praise them at all times, it doesn't matter if the art is more beautiful than the personality of the artist. Bow down to their superiority if you feel like saying anything at all. You exist on their territory just to be a fan. Nothing else. They can control you however they want, they don't care about your life. It's all about them.

• DO NOT think that you can ever be their friend. There are ultimate requirements that are near impossible to obtain. You need to be a fellow artist for starters with a big reputation in the fan community, think of them as a celebrity who only talks and befriends other celebrities, like most rich people. Normal people are seen as nothing but ugly, dirty strangers who stink. Their words mean nothing unless you kiss their ass in a very careful way.

• NEVER say anything negative in any way. The artist can but you have no right to. Know your damn place and keep your own trauma experiences to yourself or you'll be met with the online version of cutting out ones tongues and vocal chords.

• The artist is always right. Not you, you suck.

I wish every MDA: Raincode fan the best of luck in this ultimate trial. If you get exiled then don't worry because you're not alone.

This is based on my own experiences. I've been hurt for a long time, I could go on but you wouldn't give a shit. So many people who have been treated like outcasts end up feeling silenced, having no confidence in sharing their trauma in fear of the same rejection. It can even cost lives.

I want to raise awareness to this hidden darkness within the fanartist community. Specifically the Raincode community. It pains me deeply, as I truly believed that those artists were lovely people.... They can still turn things around but that's highly unlikely. They keep themselves in their little clicky bubbles, likely not talking to many people outside their friend groups. Sadly, no matter how cute or positive their art may be (like Yuma sick with a fever being hugged by the other detective agency members) the artist may not show the same kind of compassion towards real people like they do in their fictional works.

Don't let them force you into silence. If you've been through this situation then please share your experiences on here. You won't be blocked or pushed away. You can talk in however long sentences you want, you are you. No one can force you speak in a certain way. I will listen to you, we will listen to you. We talk things out, not silence. Mod tools are only for serious situations, ones that can harm another persons life.

I am speaking from my painful experiences. An experience that put me off this game I used to love so so much.... I don't want anyone else to get the same rejection. It's not fair.

Thank you for reading this.

[atopvisenyashill]

the way twitter stans don't get matt smith is playing up the blacks vs greens conflict like most of the actors have been in the recent interviews, like ofc as the person who plays daemon he's gonna say he doesn't like alicent lmao

(also i find it interesting how all of the crazy team green twitter stans had no problem when tgc called jace a dweeb isn't that hate too🤔)

no YEAH and like, obvious caveat it isn't the whole fandom but twitter does incentivise the absolute craziest people to get popular which means some of thee most annoying people to have ever existed in this world are popular in the greater hotd fandom, and what's been consistently frustrating is how many people who are either rhaenicent/girls focused or tg stans who just refuse to acknowledge the absolutely cracked behavior coming from their side. like, all this focus on olivia, basically with the implication that this is an isolated thing like with the hate lena got for playing cersei, but it's not because imo the internet (or at least twitter) has gotten infinitely worse since got finished, so it's not just olivia getting this insane behavior, it's the bulk of the cast! and it's coming from everyone, from the angry book fans, the targ nation delulus, the femslash enjoyers, tb, tg, every subfandom has had some insane and over the line behavior directed towards the cast that loves to default to either "well you're ugly and i hope you die" or just straight up bigotry.

like the amount of people (largely the "toxic yuri enjoyers" or the tb stans, i can whack the people i hang out with!!) going after tom for saying standard actor stuff like "I love my character" or "i feel bad for my character" and saying he's a rape apologist is crazy. people didn't even go after jason momoa for that real dumbshit "i get to rape beautiful women" comment this hard! is he supposed to not try to understand the character he's playing?? are people who play villains or antagonists just never allowed to feel sympathy for their characters? that's crazy, that's insane, but especially in a series where a) there are SO MANY villain protagonists and b) this series is known for exploring why bad people turn into bad people and why good people do bad things and what even a "bad person" or a "good person" looks like, so why are we mad that the cast plays into this??

and YEAH tbh like you say, i think there's a lot of in this case tg stans specifically who get so fucking angry whenever Matt Smith plays along with the "all must choose" angle but it's like - yeah of course he does, he's not the only one doing this, he clearly thinks it's fun to joke about how he's gonna decimate ewan mitchell, and i think a lot of his bts stuff throughout his career has gone from the two extremes of "having something amazing to say" and "being completely and totally unserious" because this is a job he does, and he likes to get goofy with it. it's fine!!! but no, apparently, it's such a crime to simply exist and like that he's playing this fun character with a goofy wig and a cool aesthetic that we've gotta dogpile every post about him calling him ugly!! but when The People We Hate In Fandom do something vile like call olivia a cunt to her face, that's the true evil! and when People We Are Friends With start saying really weird shit about fabien being ~violent~ we just look the other way even tho that feels just a lil racist!!!

it's more frustrating because you can't even say this is a fandom that skews young like a shitty teen show or a cartoon - this is a grown up show for adults, this is prestige tv, this is a show and a series you actually think "maybe i should wait a few years before i let my middle schooler dig into that one" but the fandom is SO INSANE. WE ARE ALL ADULTS WHY ARE WE ACTING SO JOBLESS. GO PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT. DO SOME YOGA SO YOUR BACK DOESN'T SEIZE UP BEFORE 40. TOUCH GRASS!!

[secretsecretbunny]

Heyy, I think I know who you're talking about, the person who is shit talking. I saw something they said about you and it really hit me the wrong way because it felt really school yard mean girl :( also a lot of the things she writes about is really concerning and she makes stuff up about idols that everyone thinks is real.

I'm not familiar with any of their posts I don't think, if we're talking about the same person that is.. but making stuff up about people isn't cool. writing fics is one thing but to say something as fact about a person you don't know is very strange behavior. I just hope they got what they wanted to feel out of what they're doing, I guess. I can only assume that maybe they're having a bad day and needed some sort of release, and I suppose taking your frustrations out on someone on the internet is the easiest route to take, especially if you don't show your face, y'know? but honestly, this place doesn't really exist to me out in the real world, it's just a place to have fun and babble my little words and make people's little ideas come to life. I'm not sure what I did to upset them and why they're making such odd claims about me when I'm almost positive I've never spoken to them, unless they've messaged me anonymously, but I hope things get better for them because they seem truly bothered. I've blocked multiple people tonight apparently involved in this and it's just kind of tiring to come to my silly little fun place only to be met with multiple forms of hatred for no apparent reason other than people not believing anything I say. which, whatever! that's fine! you do not have to believe anything I talk about. you don't have to believe me about my love life, you don't have to believe me about where I live, you don't have to believe me about my job, shit, you don't even have to believe I'm real. just like, idk.. shut up? maybe? stop letting yourself be so bothered by someone who wasn't even aware of your existence before tonight.

[weebsinstash]

newest werewolf audiobook I'm listening to, The Silent Alpha, broken down for some drama and entertainment's sake:

-Protag Natalia is a human who's fated mate was Alpha Christian of the Silver Crest Pack

-she actually convinces him to let her stay human when they mate and bond, and she was basically a perfect Luna, but she was still a human. For reference I think she's with Christian for at least 5 years

-it's been years and she still hasn't conceived, Christian is getting impatient, Natalia starts developing weird headaches and pains in her chest and stomach, everyone kind of gaslights her and tells her she must be imagining it and feeds her aspirin like candy

-she goes to the doctor (unrelated to the pain she's been feeling) and finds out she's finally pregnant and goes to tell Nathan

-the mysterious pain she's been feeling was Nathan defiling and damaging their mate bond by FUCKING HER SISTER. She sees through a cracked door that they're fucking ON HER BED and Christian is talking about how he'll make her sister Vanessa his Luna if she can get pregnant.

-some of these wolf roles and rankings have biological effects and stuff, right? In these wolf stories, there is usually a male called a Gamma who works for the Alpha and his entire job, his entire purpose, literally, the fucking reason for his existence by the moon goddess, is to take care of the Luna. They even form a specific bond so he can feel how she feels and his aura can help soothe her (to be blunt it sounds like the Gamma is much better suited to be a mate than an actual mate but they specify the Gamma bond often feels like sibling or familial love). Well. Her Gamma Jordan knew Christian was having an affair and he helped lie to Natalia :) wow. So she was also betrayed by a wolf whose literal actual purpose it was to look after her. Ouch.

-Natalia decides to flee with her unborn pup by uh, I love this, she literally just uses the internet to print a template and create a fake fertility test that says she's definitively infertile and she gives it to Christian who IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY grabs her suitcase and starts throwing all her clothes into it, telling her that being pregnant was "her one job and purpose, and she couldn't even do that" meanwhile she thought he loved her tf?

-theres a ceremony where they have to officially denounce her as Luna and it makes my fucking blood boil. She has to agree that she "has failed her role as Luna by failing to perform her duties by producing an heir" nd she can even tell the pack elders are against this or at least pity her

-Nathan is such a fucking cunt he doesn't even wait for Natalia to leave the room before immediately claiming Vanessa as his mate? He marks her within like 20 seconds of Natalia finishing signing the thingy thing that says she's leaving the pack

-dude I actually feel bad for Nathan's wolf, Jack? (Who by the way also has a different voice actor than Nathan himself, an older man with a much deeper sexier voice tbh, I wouldn't mind if there's a story with this voice actor as the love interest 😳 stop giving me cocky ceos in their 30s and give me a real MAN like give me some lumberjack looking mf who's like 45 and can fuck me like a beast) or rather i pity jack at least initially. In most of these stories it is usually the human who is fucking up and the wolf actually still loves the protagonist and that's how it is here. Jack actually HATES Vanessa and is calling Nathan a stupid idiot this entire ordeal. During the denouncing ceremony for Natalia, the wolf also has to take control and reject her as his mate, and before he rejects her he whispers "I'm sorry, Tiny" which was Jack's personal nickname for her as a lil Latina woman, and after Natalia leaves, Jack is snapping at Nathan "you got rid of my Tiny!"

-dude apparently HIPPAA privacy laws don't exist on the packlands because the pack nurse shows up two months after Natalia is gone "oh Christian, I can't say it's my business why you two divorced, but can you get these prenatal vitamins to Natalia. I don't have her contact information and as a human giving birth to a werewolf it could be fatal for her" and cue Christian now knowing she lied, but this makes Jack absolutely furious at Nathan, no joke, "bring back my Tiny or I'll start killing until you don't have a pack left" AND HE DOES which is kind of where I lose sympathy for him. Christian and Jack, in secret, kill at least 50 pack members before they decide to overthrow him because Jack is "going feral"

-like. Ok. Listen to this bullshit right here. Right. So the pack elders and even Nathan's own parents, the former pack leaders, decide he's gone too far and needs to be overthrown. What is their solution? Instead of Julius Cesar'ing the guy like they should, they decide "hey he's literally a lunatic and the strongest member of our pack but we have to OFFICIALLY CHALLENGE HIM FOR THE TITLE"

-LMAO THEY TELL JORDAN IT HAS TO BE HIM AND THEY LITERALLY DONT GIVE HIM A CHOICE. THESE FIGHTS ARE USUALLY TO THE DEATH SO THEYRE BASICALLY ORDERING HIM TO FIGHT SOMEONE BIGGER, STRONGER, AND MORE EXPERIENCED. "Oh yeah he's killing tons of people in our pack but let's formally challenge him to a 1 on 1 where he could potentially win and then retaliate and kill us and also the guy we're sending is a Gamma who betrayed his Luna" what an absolutely STUNNING plan, I haven't reached the challenge but I'm almost absolutely positive Jordan will just be killed or have to be reacued by Natalia who hates him and all wolves now

-Natalia is afraid of werewolves now and wants absolutely nothing to do with them, like before she left she literally used her position as Luna to find out where she could move where there would be no packs around and she winds up in Wyoming) and she's just trying to mind her own business when she's given a new fated mate who refuses to reject her even as she's on her knees begging him to let her go. Because she is a human it somehow doesn't matter if she says the exact words she's supposed to? But guess what. Her new mate is mute from trauma and refuses to reject her because he's never experienced love and he's always treasured the idea of having a mate

-it's like, hard right, because the new mate Zane is actually a really decent sweet guy but Natalia is 100% within her rights to immediately start treating him like shit and tells him to leave her alone and that she hates wolves. Well it turns out some of her coworkers were wolves and she's lowkey traumatized that she was around wolves this entire time she thought she was safe (remember she was never turned so she can't sense wolves or has any powers)

-Zane makes a deal with her: give me a chance for 3 months and if you don't fall for me by then, I'll reject you. So, like, I get where he's coming from, but like, the mate bond does in fact kind of actually brainwash you and take away your consent so, even if it is not his intention, he is essentially trying to buy time until she is manipulated into loving him. Not to say there's nothing about him to love but like, her son is 3 when she meets Zane. I think she could've used a few more years to heal honestly. Also her son is annoying and apparently part of a magical prophecy (the plot of the first book was that the protag turned out to be basically a godlike figure, a special kind of wolf called an Ivory Twin, and there are special wolves called silver wolves and gold wolves. Zane is actually a silver wolf)

-anyways I'm not finished with this story (and I'm kind of bitter because when you're buying coins to unlock chapters, if you're reading a long story you can sometimes exceed the cost of just buying a book), but to reach the funny nail in the fail coffin, right:

After Natalia leaves, her sister Vanessa goes to the nurse. The nurse tells Vanessa not only does she have gonorrhea (which presumably she has also given to Nathan) but her minimal-symptom gonorrhea went untreated so long she has scarring on her fallopian tubes and is TRULY infertile. So Nathan left Natalia for a woman who is not only a manipulative bitch who betrayed her own sister, not only bad at her job as Luna, not only not as liked by the pack, but is also actually infertile, unlike Natalia, and her infertility is directly tied to uhhh not having reservations about how many partners she's had

So yeah I think I'd just share the heartbreak, anger, and delicious irony of this story. It's actually part of a series that I would recommend, The Ivory Queen is book one and The Silent Alpha is book 2, although I haven't really noticed if it's necessary to finish The Ivory Queen before starting TSA, since I haven't finished Ivory Queen yet (it's like over 80 chapters. Do you know how long these stories can take when you've got 10 minute long chapters 😩 I've been trying to avoid longer stories because they cost more but this series is so cute)