#so anyway i guess i have this instead of carrd. this actually is all you need to know

[sophieinwonderland]

Dear anti-endos: please take the hint and stay out of our tags so you won't have to see me in yours anymore.

Guess I'm addressing this one now!

This... actually hurts your point... surely you can see that, right?

Do you believe OCD and anxiety disorders are traumagenic 100% of the time? These are disorders that are associated with trauma, but can all exist without it. It's not a requirement in any of them. If you wouldn't use this line as proof that anxiety can never be endogenic, then how does this help show that DID can't? Where is the logic?

Yes... an association... Do I need to pull out the definition of association?

Don't worry! I have the APA's right here!

It's the second definition that's important here. Basically, what is being said is that there's a high correlation between trauma and DID. But... that's also true of anxiety disorders and OCD as we already covered, but neither of those are solely traumagenic.

Neither of these quotes actually support your point.

Something I really need anti-endos to understand is that these comparisons are being made right by actual psychologists and anthropologists.

Here's a recent paper that is comparing Western Tulpamancers to a number of different religious groups including evangelicals, mediums and Okumfu.

Are you going to also pretend like it's insulting when anthropologists or psychologists are making these same exact comparisons? Or are you a hypocrite?

While you think of your answer, we're just going to continue to compare similar phenomena to each other.

Anyway, looks like there wasn't any points on the Schizophrenia note, so I'm about to the end...

Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Okay, fine. Let's keep going then.

Just to summarize for readers, @cistemanger's main argument was that the creator of the Carrd didn't debunk this particular line. This is true. But that point was already debunked back in #2. Arguing that endogenic plurality is possible again here would just be redundant.

If you'd like to get into that point further, I discuss the ICD-11 stating that you can have multiple distinct personality states and Kluft speculating on the possibility of a nonpathological endogenous form of dissociative identity disorder in my Endogenic Syscourse Primer.

The fact that endogenic plurality is recognized as a possible phenomenon makes the statement inaccurate already. That's why the creator of the Carrd instead focused on why it's harmful. Here that is, by the way, since this is a really important one to read from the source

Now, there's one specific part of this I want to address...

This is... such a dodge of responsibility.

Endogenic plurality an active subject of research in psychology and anthropology. It's been acknowledged by Eric Yarbrough in Transgender Mental Health, which was published by APA publishing. The creators of the Theory of Structural Dissociation have said that self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality may be involved in mediumship and hypnosis. Kluft speculated that there may be nonpathological and endogenous forms of DID. Tulpas are actively being researched by Professors at McGill and Stanford University. The ICD-11 says that you can have multiple distinct personality states without DID.

The existence of endogenic plurality has been affirmed by every single researcher who has studied it.

The claim that you need trauma to be a system is a lie. It's disinformation. There is zero validity to it anywhere.

So instead of reiterating that point, the Carrd's creator focused this section on the harm this lie does to traumagenic systems.

You can claim nobody is saying you need to know what your trauma is, but the fact that you're forcing people to admit to having trauma they don't remember in order to be allowed to identify as a system hurts systems who do have trauma and aren't ready to process it.

It does cause people to look for trauma, because people aren't going to say they were traumatized when they don't remember their trauma. They feel like they need to remember in order to prove their validity.

Your lies create this environment that harms traumagenic systems.

This seems to be missing some pretty big points from that article's timeline. (Which itself has links to other historical source in the community.) Such as this FAQ about multiplicity describing non-traumagenic multiples in 1995 and using system interchangeably for all groups.

System has been used by endogenic plurals pretty much since the online community formed, since all multiplicity was considered the same at the time, and there wasn't this major divide between types of systems back then.

No.

OCD is a specific disorder while system is a general word with a broad meaning.

A better analogy is that anti-endos are doing the equivalent of people anxiety disorders claiming exclusive ownership over the word "anxiety," and arguing that it's impossible to have anxiety if you don't have an anxiety disorder.

Okay then... How about the fact that "system" has been used to refer to subpersonalities in the Internal Family Systems model since the 80s, and the creator of IFS has compared these subpersonalities to alters in DID.

IFS… We think people have parts and parts are subpersonalities, and in distinction from a lot of other systems, we believe that we’re born with them. It’s the nature of the mind to be subdivived. That we’re all actually multiple personalities. That people who carry that diagnosis aren’t any different from anybody in here except that theirs got blown blown apart more by the horrific trauma they suffered. But what are called alters in that field are really what we call parts.

Please don't. Or at least keep it out of pro-endo tags this time. I would rather not have to waste more of my time debunking you, and I'm sure your anti-endo friends would rather not see me in anti-endo tags again.

But unfortunately, if you insist on continuing to invade our spaces, I won't have much of a choice but to enforce our community's boundaries and post my responses in yours. 🤷‍♀️

[moosethren]

Moments before silence

My Carrd for character information.

Last encounter Ash has with the Bad Batch before Order 66 happens.

Rating: Fluff, Tech x OC, Crosshair x OC.

-----------------------------------

In the cockpit, Ash could be heard clicking away at something; occasionally cursing in her native tongue under her breath. The blasted thing was lagging and not cooperating at all, making her angrier by the second.    “It’s not… that’s not what I want you to do! Just… work! Argh, dammit!” Shaking the datapad in her hand, her fingers clenched around it to the point it started to creak before she stood up from the chair and turned to throw it away from her. At the same time Tech was approaching the cockpit, about to grab the back of her seat.

He instinctively ducked as the datapad came flying by his head, looking over his shoulder where it clattered to the floor before turning back to Ash. Her eyes were wide, mouth agape in shock and horror all at once. Tech merely raised an eyebrow.

“Problems?”

“Ah, shit, I’m sorry,” she groaned then, looking mortified before dragging her hand over her face. She really needed to control her temper but when technological things just didn't work, her patience flew out the window.

“Do not worry. You are not the first one to throw things around in this ship.” He took a few steps back, picking up the datapad and adjusting his goggles as he took a closer look at it, not missing the cracks in it.

“Don’t bother, Tech. It’s not working anyway. Poor thing’s been through too much over the years now.”

“More than a few years. It is a K7-model. I have only ever heard of them, never actually seen one up close.”

“That old, huh…?”

“Quite. I am surprised it has worked this long. Especially with your tendency to veer towards Wrecker’s temper when it comes to technological things.” Tech was smirking this time, before he started to click away on the datapad. It gave no response and he hummed thoughtfully, picking up one of his tools instead and pried open the backside of the datapad. He seemed quite content like this. Fixing things, he was good at. 

“Ah. I found the cause of your frustrations.” He held up a black circular chip that he had plucked out of it. “Fried, I am afraid. And they have not been manufactured for years by now. Replacing it with a current model is not going to work either, the power connections will not fit.” 

“So it’s pretty much useless then? I guess Crosshair can use it as target practice.”

“I would like to keep it, if you do not mind.” Ash shrugged; it wasn’t as if she would have any use for it anymore. Though she wondered what he could possibly want it for too.

“Go ahead. I suppose there’s no saving the data on it?”

“You had important data on it? No, that chip controls the hard drive. What did you save on it?”

“I like collecting old musical sheets I’ve found on my travels. It’s a fun challenge trying to convert them into violin music. Didn’t use that old thing for much else though. It couldn’t do much else.”

“I see.”

“No worries though. Thanks for taking a look at it, despite nearly being beheaded by it.” She smiled faintly at him, not missing his brow furrowing.

“Getting beheaded by it would be quite extreme…” Ash stifled an actual laugh this time, as he looked back at her puzzled.

“Well, still, thank you. Now, I’m afraid I need to take another look at my gear before the mission I think.” He watched her depart the cockpit; his focus quickly falling back to the datapad though. Lifting it up, he tapped it thoughtfully against his chin.

A successful mission later and safely back on Cardulia again, Ash bid the Batch goodbye for now. The more missions she did with them, the more difficult it became each time to leave. She was quite fond of their company, especially Tech’s. Even when not on the ship with them, her thoughts often strayed to him. For several reasons.

That she was fond of him was quite clear, if not to him, then the rest of the squad. Their teasing could be near unbearable these days, to the point that even Tech noticed it from time to time. They never spoke about it though, as if there was a silent agreement on pretending nothing was there. And maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she imagined it all. Even if she wasn’t, she enjoyed their friendship too much to put it at risk. 

She just knew her heart was never steady when near him, and how much her mood lit up when she did see him. Which meant her blasted ears usually gave away everything, tilting down low along her skull.

With all that in mind, she felt a bit sad that he wasn’t present when she stepped off the Marauder’s ramp, with Wrecker waving enthusiastically to her; Hunter leaning on the frame of the hatch, with his arms across his chest, Crosshair accompanying him. Echo was outside, looking over one of the ship’s panels from the outside but raised his hand in farewell when he realised Ash was leaving.

“Can’t wait to see you again, Ash!” Wrecker called out over Crosshair’s head, who winced at the loud volume near his ears, nearly dropping the toothpick from his mouth. He did drop it when Tech suddenly shoved his way between him and Hunter, with the latter forced to step outside of the ramp, barely catching himself against the doorway. Almost hanging from the doorway, his fingers tightly clutched around the frame, he gave Crosshair a deadpan who chuckled before catching his wrist to help pull the sergeant back up.

“Ash, wait!” She paused when she heard Tech’s voice, masking the relief in her face for a whole two seconds before smiling at him, ears tilting down a bit. Behind them and the landing platforms, the city of Tovor was sprawling with life, carduls, humans and other aliens marching back and forth; busy with accepting deliveries and sending them off to their numerous trade routes. Cardulia was flourishing, their trades one of the most important ones in this sector of the galaxy. Despite the dangerous areas near their system.

Tech stopped in front of her, holding out a datapad for her to take. “I wanted to give you this. It is one of my spare datapads.”

“Spare? How many do you have?” She accepted it, turning it around in her hand to study it closer. It was certainly newer than her own. Which meant more complicated, undoubtedly. Oh no, and holonet access too. 

“Four at the moment. I can do without a fifth. And -” he sided up with her to show her something on it, putting his hand over hers where she held the datapad for extra support, the other clicking at the buttons.

“It has quite a lot more functions than your K7 model did. Comlink, audio and recording functions, orientation access, several text programs. I have not yet customised this one for hacking or other such functions. I do not think… you will use those much. I have also downloaded a few music sheets for you to look over. I cannot recover the ones you lost, but I managed to find a few cardulian ones. On top of a few classics and one of my favourites.”

“You have favourites?” she almost stuttered, somewhat distracted by his close proximity and his gentle hand over hers. It was far from the first time he huddled up against her side to show her something but he never touched her while at it.

“Of course. Classical music is very stimulating to the mind. I had no idea you could convert sheets yourself though. Do you play?”

“Tech. We need to get going,” Hunter called out by the ship, wincing as Crosshair smacked him across his shoulder before the sergeant stepped inside the ship.

“I’ll tell you next time,” Ash chuckled after having glanced over at the ship, as Tech looked torn between leaving and staying now, obviously struggling with moving his thoughts from the music back to action. “Thank you. Again.” She squeezed his hand over the datapad before tucking it into her bag. She’d almost stood on her toes to place a kiss to his cheek; with how endearing he was and how close he had been standing but she had caught herself in time, realising how very much inappropriate that would have been. The squeeze had sufficed.

“Alright,” he nodded then, offering her a brisk smile, his hands bending a little before his chest as he had nothing to occupy them with now, as he watched her walk off the landing platform and down towards the city itself. He stood there for a few moments, contemplating how much he wanted to follow her, before heading back to the ship, spotting Crosshair’s arched eyebrow as he stepped inside.

“What?” the pilot finally asked.

“Adorable,” the sniper retorted with a smirk. “Gonna start counting down the days until we work with her again?”

“Those will probably be short,” Tech replied, missing the tease entirely. “According to the latest data, the war is going very much in the Republic’s favour. We might see an end to it soon.”

“Oh, goodie.” Crosshair paused, not sure he liked those implications. An end to the war? While the idea was nice, it put one question in his mind most of all. What would happen then? It was such an unknown, that not even all of Tech’s data could prepare them for it. He looked upwards, watching the city busy itself away.

“Things will surely get interesting once the war ends,” he voiced out loud, making Tech pause on his way to the cockpit.

“I cannot imagine they will change too much. A celebration, followed by months or even years of political strife between the Republic and the Separatist’s remains. Rogue criminal elements will always be a constant in the galaxy, so most likely soldiers like us will be utilised to deal with them or any Separatist insurgents, while the regs will continue to serve as the backbone of the Republic's military. But that is just one hypothesis. I would not worry too much about sizable differences.” 

Crosshair wasn’t surprised to hear that his brother had already thought about the implications of the war ending. What didn’t that man think of? At least in some matters.

“Perhaps you will be visiting Cardulia more often? And Ash?” he suggested out loud, as Tech offered the city a brief glance. His brow furrowed. Their free time would not increase just because the Republic won. And now he did realise one terrible change that might occur.

“With the war ending, the Jedi will return to their previous duties. They will no longer be generals and thus any squads under their care will be diverted to other tasks. Most likely, Ash and Hide’s partnership will end. Where that leaves her, I do not know yet.” That one he hadn’t even considered. It was as if he hadn’t dared to touch that possibility yet. The notion of seeing her even less… it stirred something unpleasant in his chest and mind, something he didn’t want to consider. Or could put into word even if he tried.

“Ask her then,” Crosshair looked back at his brother, though Tech’s sudden concern was infectious. None of them liked change. Yet the war would end eventually and it’d drag all kinds of change with it, despite Tech’s previous assurance. 

“I will,” Tech offered a firm nod. The next time he saw her, it’d be the first question on his mind. He took another step forward, before pausing.

“What about you, Crosshair?”

“What?” 

“Are you counting the days until you see Varga?” The sniper bit down on his toothpick, looking dead ahead over the city rather than his brother’s face. He couldn’t even tell if Tech was joking or not. Judging by his tone, it had been a genuine question.

“I like the surprise,” Crosshair shrugged, stepping away from the door, to shut the hatch. “Go on then, before Hunter drags you to the cockpit.” Tech gave him a nod, walking off and leaving his brother alone with his thoughts.

He was never counting the days until he saw Varga again. But he was counting how many it had been since he’d last seen her. And right now, they had been more than he liked. 

[custom-emojis]

Cw; trauma theory.

I wish psych courses in college told me more about systems and osdd and all that stuff. I remember learning about a concept called Complex Trauma and wondering what effects that, instead of a singular event, would have. I was looking through your plurality carrd and I suppose I was just wondering if you had any insight on complex trauma in the context of systems? I figured going to a system that all seems to know what they’re talking about would be beneficial. If you don’t want to or can’t answer for any reason, I understand completely. I wouldn’t be so curious if I didn’t have a long history of an.. amorphous sense of self

well, first off, you definitely came to the right person because I literally have 'complex trauma' (aka C-PTSD. Complex PTSD). My trauma was not a singular event. or even a small burst of events. My trauma was repetative, essentially torture, for multiple years back to back. The majority of it started in 2003 and ended around 2010-2011. Even after that though I had been abused, traumatized, or victimized in a variety of different ways throughout my life which just piles more ontop of it. Anwyays, how that affects systems? im not really sure what to tell you! DID/OSDD are definitely far far far more likely in those with complex trauma, as that's what typically causes the initial split. is trying to cope with things we really have no ability to actually cope with. a fragmentation in identity due to the lack of actual identity alongside the need to create somebody who can cope with the trauma we're enduring. BPD is also very common in people with CPTSD, and some people argue that BPD is just another manifestation of CPTSD (i am diagnosed with bpd). thats not rly here nor there and i don't have any opinions on that bc im not a medical professional im just really really traumatized. all i can really say tho with systems and their connection to complex trauma is that DID/OSDD systems are far more likely to be in those with CPTSD and that like. I guess in my experiences of having complex trauma, we have triggers that like affect everybody in the system? its well known that alters can have different triggers and that some triggers wont affect other alters. but due to our complex trauma we also have some triggers related to that trauma that will send us, collectively, into a system wide meltdown. Even the alters who have no strong feelings towards the trauma will have panic attacks or breakdowns relating to it. Which is strange for them, its like the body itself reacts on its own to the trauma aside from the alters. For example, Zero. Zero doesn't have any of our triggers. It has its own and even when it is triggered, it doesn't have a large reaction like the rest of us do. but if a 'body trigger' comes up, the body will start shaking and crying and be unable to function even if 0 is in front. and the brain with it there will be calm while the body reacts. it's strange! anyways. hope this helps, if you have more questions youre free to dm us or whatever. sorry I couldn't offer more.

[intrepidalph]

IM BAAAAACK !!!!!!

consider this like my offical re-introduction post because ... Wow alot of stuff has changed since I last was active here!! (actually not too much just like. My main interests I guess. Oh yeah and my age I'm 15 now wahoo)

Also I'm gonna keep this post pinned and also rb it like every morning until I have recollected all my mutuals like pokemon cards because I MISSED U GUYS :(( so yeah if you see this and we've interacted before please reply or send an ask so I know you haven't forgotten me maybe? idk . Anyways !! Here's my new intro for a refresher <:]

(Also I'm gonna put this in the tags of my interests in hopes of finding more mutuals !!! So uh yeah if u like the same things as me maybe consider following, I'm cool and I draw sometimes)

I'm still Pepper and I still go by she/her so nothings changed there !! I'm also still a furry in case you hadn't noticed lmao. The main changes I guess would be

1, I got a snazzy new art program, csp!! no more firealpaca for me >:]

2, my interests and what I'll post abt !! which I'll now list here hehe. these r just my main ones u can find a full list on my carrd in my bio !! ^_^

• object shows (hfjone, ii, and obs primarily. I do like bfb also!!)

• pikmin!! I lost interest in it for a bit but pikmin 4 has reignited my interest in it so!! we've really come full circle here lmao.

• sonic!! this one's a new one and I didn't expect to like it as much as I do??? but I do!! my fave is silver I love that guy he's so me

• care bears !! I'm still hyperfixtated on these bears . I can't escape them ever they are apart of me now

• vocaloid and project sekai!! I always liked vocaloid but project sekai has made me enjoy it even more lately lol

• and ofc I still like splatoon ! Silly squid guys

And uhh yeah that's abt it !!

One last thing to wrap up this post, I will no longer be using my art blog for all art related posts or reblogs, instead I will use it as a sort of archive for my art where you can find it all easily . Basically I'll reblog and post all art posts on main but I'll only *reblog* *my* art to my art blog, if that makes sense at all? Idk lawl.

Anyways yeah that's all !! I'm very glad to be back and I hope you guys didn't forget me <:]

[holycatsandrabbits]

Love’s Endless Light: A Good Omens serial romance

YOU HAVE REACHED THE END!

PREVIOUS

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

Chapter 12: Love Unfailing Dwells Ever Here

2019, Soho, London, England

**Note: this is a T-rated love scene. It remains SFW.**

One day in 1143 AD, Crowley had informed Aziraphale that Hell expected them to have a fight over something or other, he couldn’t remember what now. What Crowley did remember was that first, of course, he and Aziraphale were not actually going to fight; second, that Crowley had therefore suggested that he wound himself slightly with his own dagger to make it look like they had; and third, that Aziraphale had not taken kindly to that idea, and that he’d lashed out a hand, faster than Crowley could track, and caught Crowley’s wrist. Drop it, the angel had said, about the dagger, and Crowley had obeyed. He also might have squeaked, but he tried not to remember that part.

Aziraphale was a trained and talented soldier. Crowley had never been afraid of him. In fact, he’d been sort of ridiculously not afraid of him, and now that Crowley understood things better, he guessed that was probably because Aziraphale didn’t project the aura of soldier so much as guard. Someone protective, not aggressive. Certainly other demons and humans seemed to perceive Aziraphale the same way. But Aziraphale had, on a few occasions, gotten just a little aggressive with Crowley, and every time, Crowley had nearly swooned.

Crowley was not proud of this. Not the swooning, not the reason for it. He was a demon, for Hell’s sake, a monster, a beast. Who desperately wanted to be manhandled by an angel.

Aziraphale was just such a bloody contradiction, all soft and lovely, gentle, kind, pleasant, but he could also lift Crowley like he was no heavier than a dictionary, and make weapons burst into flame. (Crowley suspected it didn’t even have to be a weapon; Aziraphale could probably set a ballpoint pen ablaze if he felt the occasion called for it.) He could fight so well that neither he nor his opponent would get hurt, but Aziraphale would still win.

Every time Crowley saw Aziraphale do something like that, reveal his cleverness and competence, it made him feel a little unstable, kind of shivery, and altogether too warm. Those moments would unhelpfully record themselves in Crowley’s memory, coming back to him unbidden when he was alone and had the opportunity to, ah, explore exactly what kind of physical effects such situations had on him.

Crowley, of course, had not told Aziraphale this, and wasn’t sure he was ever going to. Anyway, right now, Crowley was in the bookshop with an amorous angel, and saw no reason to interrupt anything they were doing with a plea for manhandling.

They’d dined at the Ritz, walked home, and then Aziraphale had given Crowley a beautiful smile, free of the anxiety that had plagued Aziraphale as long as Crowley had known him. “I suppose we’re free now,” Aziraphale had said, looking at Crowley with his blue eyes sparkling. “We can do whatever we like.”

“Whatever we like,” Crowley had echoed.

Obviously, that had been kissing. They’d spent most of last night at Crowley’s flat kissing and Crowley was absolutely certain that even if the kissing went on for eternity, that he’d never tire of it. Kissing Aziraphale was a blending of things that were unimaginably large, like Love and Devotion and Friendship, and also things that were finely detailed: the soft feel of his lips, the way he liked to curl his hands around Crowley’s jaw, the give of his cushioned body under Crowley’s fingers.

Crowley’s secret came out on its own when they collided with Aziraphale’s desk and Aziraphale effortlessly lifted Crowley up to set him on it. Because Crowley squeaked.

Aziraphale looked startled, like he was afraid he’d done something wrong. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Nope. No, nope.”

“Your face is very red,” Aziraphale pointed out, because of course he would.

“Um,” said Crowley.

Aziraphale was not very romantically experienced. But he was also not stupid. Aziraphale slid his hands under Crowley’s arms and lifted him slowly off of the desk. The only thing for Crowley to do then, of course, was to wrap his legs around Aziraphale’s waist. When Aziraphale gave a little groan and pressed his mouth against Crowley’s neck, Crowley squeaked again.

“You like this,” Aziraphale said, his mouth muffled against Crowley’s skin.

There didn’t seem much point in keeping up pretenses anymore. “You’re strong,” Crowley said.

Aziraphale laughed. “You don’t weigh anything.”

“Feels like you could do anything with me,” Crowley said. Aziraphale pulled back to look at him, seeming surprised and a little worried. “But I know you won’t,” Crowley told him. “Aziraphale— you have always made me feel safe.”

Aziraphale’s eyes grew wet, and he kissed Crowley fiercely. Eventually, Aziraphale even carried Crowley up the stairs to the flat above the bookshop, still as if lifting Crowley was the easiest thing in the world. They spent the rest of the day, the week in bed. Sometimes just talking, finally putting words to things that had been communicated only by looks and smiles, by silence instead of speech. Searching through the past for answers: how long had they loved? When had admiration become desire? How many times had they been achingly close to a kiss?

If someone had told Crowley in Eden that this angel would be the love of his life, Crowley might have actually believed it. There was an air about Aziraphale that made you think that he could love you, that he would hold and protect you, even at great cost to himself.

If Crowley had been told that he’d spend most of eternity trying to make sure that Aziraphale suffered no cost for that kindness, he would likely have accepted that too, even as a demon. Because what price could you put on love? Certainly it was worth sacrificing your pride, your rules, your side for something like this. For someone like this.

*********

YOU HAVE REACHED THE END! Thank you so much for reading!

PREVIOUS

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

Read on Ao3

Coming Aug 20 to Tumblr & Ao3: my next serial romance: "Tollense"

A history professor falls in love with his best friend, a 3000-year-old vampire. It's not Good Omens, but the tropes are similar, so I hope you all will like it.

Want to create fic, art, or other works based on this series? Please do! Just dm or tag me.

My previous Good Omens serial: Mr. Fell’s Bookshop

My Carrd

*********

Image text: Love’s Endless Light by Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits) Chapter 12

As Aziraphale and Crowley slowly fall in love over the millennia, Crowley discovers that Aziraphale is keeping a very dangerous secret.

[angeloncewas]

as a person who usually uses twt just because there’s a lot more artists on the platform along with the livetweeting, one thing that bugs me about mcyttwt is the whole censoring thing,, i mean sure it’s good to do sometimes but also i think that the twt algorithm just sometimes suppresses certain trends,, and that no matter what you do, myct will trend and gosh idk it just seems like a bit of a toxic mentality, like you should definitely raise awareness to issues but i don’t think it’s an issue if you also talk about your interests you know?

What is the appeal of livetweeting ? (/gen) because I've always just liveblogged and you're the second person I know who's said that they use Twitter for livetweeting specifically.

Anyway, yeah. The censoring thing is really weird. In a sense I get it because the algorithm is pretty shit, but I made a passive-aggressive tweet about this myself earlier; they actively encouraged people to stop tweeting about the pride MCC that was FOR CHARITY, but they were stoked about getting #TECHNOTWT_OUT on trending today. Do y'all think there's just no problems in the world today? What happened to "more important issues"? Fuck off.

(This got very rant-y very quick, sorry.)

Outside of that hypocrisy the two main problems I have with their censoring of names and obsession with the trending tab is its inherent uselessness and the unrealistic expectations it creates.

1 - Things are gonna trend. They're always gonna trend. Trending is for the hot topics of the hour. Usually music, sports, and some innate discussion that's started from a viral tweet (apple juice v orange juice, that Bonnie and Clyde thing, etc). There’s actually even split categories so that people can browse according to their interests - "for you," entertainment, whatever.

So you censor names and MCYT doesn't trend. Fantastic. Super productive. Guess what does? Ariana Grande's birthday. The new episode of Riverdale. The name of some long-dead celebrity next to another one who's just irrelevant. The slots that mcyttwt doesn't use aren't gonna be handed off to a good cause because that's just literally not how it works. They're gonna be given to the next most popular thing. And if that's a social issue that needs coverage, that's wonderful - I guess. What's the point of that, though?

Twitter isn't the place for unbiased news. Sure, it can be, and there are a lot of valid opinions and unique perspectives you can find on such a site, but it's also just that. A site. Social media. It's full of misinfo and random bullshit and if you're relying on the trending tab - something plenty of people probably don't even touch - to reflect what's actually important in the world you're literally just not going about this whole "awareness" thing correctly.

2 - Fandom is meant to be fun. This doesn't mean that you can turn on your device of choice and suddenly the world will have stopped - and it doesn't mean that you should ignore the misogyny, racism, ableism, etc that oftentimes permeates a variety of kinds of media - but it does mean that activism and entertainment are not inherently linked.

We talked a lot about this a bit ago and it actually made it to Twitter, but instead of understanding our points and re-evaluating the culture they've created, they now insist that "retweeting carrds isn't activism, it's literally like the bare minimum" every time. And while yes, carrds are not in fact activism - thank you for showing us that you have some self-awareness - that's not at all the point. The point is that mcyttwt is drilling it into their own heads that they're not allowed to talk about anything but social issues should they arise. Which is ridiculous, because the social issues they deem important enough to do this for are usually America-centric and random at best, but also because that's not what fandom is.

You are allowed to be happy and have fun because the tragic fact of the matter is that if you set aside your personal interests to focus on the injustices and horror in the world, you'd literally never go back to them. They don't even allow themselves the small grace that is using Twitter to talk about media; not only are they a bad person if they're not talking about [thing], they're also a bad person if they talk about anything other than [thing]. I can't imagine how taxing that must be and it just isn't healthy.

[cat-sapphics]

Helloooo I just got into dsmp, kinda. I found heaps of fan art on here & decided to check it out! anyway I just saw ur blog and I’m interested in ur opinions, like the general fandom . also in ur about you talk about having strong opinions of who we should support, I’d love to hear!! or even if u have any posts about it lol. have a good day

hi anon!! dsmp is a big focus of my blog but it's not the main and it's only casual, not dedicated or anything, so i can try to help you but you may wanna check out bigger more well-known blogs instead. :,)

but anyway, to start - if you're gonna be on dsmpblr, these were the posts i saved from a while back when i first gave them a read: [X] [X] [X] [X] [X] and also @smp-boundaries is a good blog to skim through for cc boundaries (that's important).

i'll warn you that dsmp analysis here gets incredibly long, complex, and overwhelming - in a good way of course, but i'm neurodivergent and have to be in the mood for it lol. i don't do much of that, but i'll reblog such posts sometimes.

in addition to that, the lore is MASSIVELY long and it just majorly started up again this past weekend consecutively until now after another one of their random long unexplained (but i can guess why) hiatuses. i got into it just about a year ago and it was already a lot of catching-up to do, but i guess the difficulty depends on if you want a summary or to be an expert on the timestamps and quotes of every available VOD. some really good, easily-navigable, organized sources for either, imo, would be [these] [four] [carrds] [here].

my personal advice is a little less so, lmao. as silly as it sounds, i would say just go with the flow and learn and build from there. follow basic tags (linked above with all the Xs), reblog those posts, follow blogs you look through and like, and as you build your dash with analysis, fanart, and general fandom-esque posts, you'll have a platform, even if it's only small. that's what i did and it worked i guess, so i don't know of anything better to do. maybe someone who reads the tags can add on, absolutely anyone with experience may feel free.

ALSO, i just remembered that you mentioned all the drama and discourse and my opinions - only participate if you have the energy and patience and like... actually care and want to. seriously. it's not fun if you don't feel like you have the upper hand and honestly i was only drawn to it because of all the unhealthy internet drama i've been in constantly since i was 12 or 13. but yeah, basically either way just stay away from twitter for a chance at a good experience is pretty much how to sum it all up. if you want to know more from *me*, i did mention in my about that my tag for that on this blog is #pridecat hates mcyttwt. i guess you could learn some of the controversy from that, but just looking up tags in general tumblr like #dsmp discourse, #mcyt discourse, #mcyt drama, #techno drama, #schlatt drama, #tommy neg, #dsmp antis, etc. would have a broader range of ideas. i like it here because most dsmp fans seem to have some common sense and mostly agree that it's all ridiculous and enraging.

apologies for the low-effort and lack of knowledge anon, but you did ask me so i tried my best lololololol i hope it's enough and understandable at least

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTICE: Characters/settings ©2008 Atlus. Story © me. All rights reserved. M for later risque situations and coarse dialogue. Cover art by takethesnowtrain.

WARNING: Rise's views and Ai's views on the LGBT community, and especially those of other characters in this work of fiction, do not always line up with those of the author. Please do your own research! The more you understand, the better our world will be.

CHAPTER WARNING: Bulimia.

NOTE: Happy New Year! Welcome to my particularly long and exhaustive crackship tome that literally no one asked for! What else is new, right? The first scene of this chapter is almost entirely copy-pasted from my other P4 fanfiction, "We'll Face Ourselves", though I tried to spruce it up and shift perspective so it doesn't feel like quite so much rehash. I thought it served as a nice lead-in to this story, with some added focus on the new ship. The second half of this chapter and the rest of the fic is all-new, don't worry. The "Golden" is more a reference to it being additional "dlc" for my other fic, not to me specifically focusing on Marie or any such content exclusive to P4G. Apologies if this dashes anyone's expectations but I hope you enjoy the fic regardless!

As for anyone wishing for that fic to debut... you know the one... well, all things in time. Soon, I promise. In the meantime, check me out at jxsleator dot carrd dot co !

Jessex

                                                  PROLOGUE

Once upon a time, in the quaint town of Inaba… a minstrel girl and a stubborn princess fought over a handsome prince. Very briefly.

"Can't you give me a little kiss goodbye?" the minstrel pulled back to look up into the boy's stoic face, her large doe eyes shining with tears — on purpose. She was a top notch minstrel, after all. "Something to keep me from… from dying from missing you?"

"Oh please," the quiet innkeeper muttered under her breath with a begrudging smile.

However, the prince obliged the minstrel girl with a kindly kiss upon the forehead. She was in awe of his tenderness. Right up until…

"Excuse me? What do you think you're doing, you bitch?!"

The others pulled back to see royalty approaching, hands on her hips. A truly glamorous princess indeed, even though her regal vestments weren't nearly as radiant as they had been in days past. The ever-present lacy pink turtleneck lived underneath a cardigan today rather than her school uniform.

"What is who doing?" the pouting siren protested, clinging a little tighter to her prince's arm.

"You! Little trollop!" The flawless beauty stomped over to the two of them, honey-brown waves bouncing as she got right up in the singer's face. "Take your greedy little paws off my boyfriend!"

The idol stamped her foot and snapped, "HEY! I don't see your name on him anywhere!"

The prince gulped and began to back away. "Uh…"

"Really?" the princess scoffed. "What makes you think you have any claim to him, slut puppy? He went to the festival with me — and spent Christmas Eve with me, too! And for your goddamn information, we got pretty close!"

Though the siren was comely, and manipulative toward many of the young suitors in the land, it was in playful jest; she did consider them friends but couldn't seem to suppress her womanly wiles, so she flirted for sport. Alas, the princess wounded her deeply with such words; her lip wobbled at the princess's declarations, even though that may have been for show.

"Senpai, say that's not true! How could you, when I… I let you… you know!"

"Hey, it doesn't count when I'm just sitting there and you plop your butt down on my hand," the prince said reasonably. "And Ai-chan, we hugged a little; please don't tease her by making it sound like more."

The prince's pair of suitresses were chagrined. The princess seemed a little more genuinely hurt than her rival for his attentions but neither were particularly happy with being called out.

"Whew," the flop-haired jester exhaled, wiping his brow. "Don't know how you get away with it, juggling two chicks like that."

"That's not…" The prince sighed, shaking his head as he facepalmed. "Maybe I'm glad to be leaving."

But in truth, he was not. Nor was anyone else present. As they alternately squabbled and lamented the prince's parting, other classmates and citizens of Inaba began to approach to wish him bon voyage. He really had left an impression in the short year he had lived there. When the train whistle signalled that it was about to pull away, the bickering came to an end so they could truly see their friend off. A lot of tearful hugs and well wishes were offered before the prince was inside, looking out the window at them as it pulled away from the station. They ran after him all the way to the end of the platform until they ran out of space, then stood waving after him until the train was completely out of sight.

And thus the prince's tale gave way to another. One about a minstrel who had lost her way and found it again, and a princess who had not always known she was a princess at all.

                                                         -------------------------------

                                                                CHAPTER ONE

"I just… he really left," Rise Kujikawa finally sobbed now that the click-clack sounds of the train had faded into the distance.

"Geez, turn it off already," Yosuke Hanamura sighed as he clasped his hands behind his neck, pressing his floppy hair hard against his neck. They turned away to start toward home or wherever the night might take them. "You don't have to keep up the act when he's not even here."

"Act?!" She shoved him from behind, and he stumbled a couple of steps as his arms windmilled out to the sides, attempting to regain his balance. "Not cool, Hanamura! I am grieving the death of my relationship!"

"What relationship?" Kanji Tatsumi grunted.

"Boys, you could be a little more sensitive," Yukiko Amagi told them in an even, reasonable tone. She was dabbing at her eyes like everyone else, and leaning a little more heavily than usual on her best friend, Chie Satonaka, but she seemed to be maintaining her composure better than Rise could manage. "We're all going to miss him so much."

"I'm just trying to get Rise to wake up," Yosuke persisted anyway. "She's delusional. We all know Nakamura was trying to scam on that chick at the hospital."

"What?"

"You know. The nurse. Though I think she moved away…"

Kanji cleared his throat. "Actually, I… thought that woman with the kid was his squeeze. Y'know, the one that came up to him a minute ago?"

Chie squeaked, "He was doing what with who?! That's… why? Why chase a married woman?!"

"Oh, I thought it was one of you girls."

The group of them turned to blink at the girl from the drama club. "Who are you again?" Yosuke asked — very rudely, even though they were all thinking it.

"Yumi Ozawa," she said softly with a slight bow. "He gave me a great deal of help when I was dealing with my own family problems, you know. And… well, I revealed I had feelings for him, and he shut me down. Just said he wanted to remain friends, and it's hard to argue with that, isn't it?"

While Chie and Yukiko were chattering to her about that, the boys suffering through a "girly" conversation they had no interest in, the slightly jealous Rise found herself momentarily distracted. Everyone kept moving along as she slowly came to a halt, turned her white sandals off to the side, and approached someone who looked like she could use her company. Even if she wasn't absolutely sure of that.

"You okay over here?"

"Oh… no, no, I'm fine. Mind your own goddamn business."

"Wooooow. I guess that's what I get for caring, huh?"

"Wait," Ebihara suddenly blurted, standing up from the bus stop bench and taking a couple of steps toward her. "All right, I may have been unnecessarily rude. I just have no idea why you would want to talk to me when I was your rival for Narukami's affections."

"Because you looked kind of pathetic over here, all by yourself."

"I did not! I'm not 'pathetic', I'm legitimately upset that my boyfriend left!"

"He wasn't your…" But at least she managed to cut herself off with a roll of her eyes, swallowing down the jab and instead moving to hold onto Ebihara's shoulder. Tears were already rolling down the teen queen's cheeks, and her voice was tight and strangled, as if she were fighting back tears — clearly a losing battle. "He could never stay here. We all kind of knew that, and just talked ourselves out of believing it. I'm so mad! But… I have to get over it."

Clearly shocked by her more reasonable response, the prissy girl took a moment longer to respond herself. By the time she did, she was looking down toward their shoes. "Completely ridiculous. Right? I should have known better, I… ugh, I'm so pissed��at myself."

"Right?!" Rise still wanted to slap her for trying to steal the boy of her dreams, but it really felt irrelevant now. So instead she tried for her most convincing smile — which, considering her previous vocation, was extremely convincing — and said, "Hey, um, why don't you try getting to know us a little better? Might as well, since you'll have more time on your hands now."

"Sounds stupid." The words came out so fraught with emotion that they were nearly unintelligible, but Rise still understood. "But I have nothing better to do, so lead on."

However, the closer they drew to the remaining group of students, the more anxious the prima donna became. Rise didn't know why exactly — and she couldn't know until Ai cleared her throat to get their attention. She could tell Naoto had been deep in discussion with Yukiko and Chie, though not what about.

"Yes?" Yukiko prompted her in mild surprise.

"I… thought I should say… I am sorry." She swallowed hard, brows furrowed. The expression still made her look angry and snobby, despite her tone of voice being gentle now; she just had resting bitch face. "Probably too late. But I was really going through some things when I sidelined you two in Aiya, and being rude is second nature to me. Can't be the most stunning girl in school without it going to your head, can you?"

"You say that like I would ever know," Chie snorted.

"Right. And… normally I would be agreeing with you and belittling you, Bowl Cu- I mean, Satonaka. I have a lot of practice." Grimacing, she growled, "Got so used to being queen bitch that it's hard to just be nice."

After a brief silence, so awkward that it felt as if any sound would have been preferable, Yukiko laid a hand on Ai's arm, gentle and reassuring. "Please, Ai-san. We all have darkness inside of us; nobody is a perfect person. So I think it's very admirable you're seeing your flaws and that you're trying to improve. I am the same, and so are my friends."

"Oh yeah?" The girl let out a wet-sounding laugh; indeed, tears were budding at the corners of her eyes. "How the hell aren't you perfect, Miss Goody Two-Shoes? I mean… I've always been so jealous of how the boys talk about you. No 'buts'."

"No butts?!" Chie burst out. "What do you mean? She's got a GREAT butt!"

Ai chuckled a little more heartily at that. Naoto was the only one who tapped her chin while noticing Yukiko's slight blush from the compliment; the others weren't paying it any attention. "No, no, not her ass. Which — fine, sure, it's fantastic. I mean like, they describe both of us as really beautiful, or hot or whatever. Same words for both of us. But with me, it always had a 'but she's such a bitch', 'but she's stuck up', 'but she's psycho' attached. Yukiko… a couple of guys said you were snooty if you turned them down for a date, but the rest of them saw through that. You're a good woman and I'm just a good-looking woman. I did so much work to be beautiful so boys would like me, but I'm just… ugly on the inside."

Though clearly, Yukiko was about to speak up, Chie beat her to the punch. "So that's it, huh? You're pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Ebihara. You're made of tougher stuff than that. Where's that girl who slammed her leg up on the table in Aiya and demanded we appreciate it?"

Though the teen queen had been firing up, being reminded of that moment in the diner made her squirm and fold her arms tightly over her chest. "That was stupid. Do you wanna know why I did that?" When Yukiko nodded, she pushed ahead, "Thing is, I was a... when I was little, I was nowhere near the adorable Ai you see before you now. Fat and hideous, got told I had pig hooves. So like, I'm sure it sounds really stupid to you guys, but having dainty little feet now is super amazing to me still."

"You were fat?!" Chie demanded, looking her up and down afresh. "No way! I call bullshit!"

"Yep, a total blimp. And I got hella teased because I didn't match up with their…" What a pregnant pause. "W-whatever. Yu already knows all this stuff, but pretty much I decided to reinvent myself when I found out we were moving to Inaba. Obviously it went to my head, but… at least I'm better now. Getting better all the time."

The rest of the Investigation Team was speechless. Rise, for her part, couldn't believe the superficial teen queen actually had some substance under that lip gloss. Certainly hadn't seemed that way when Ai basically bit her head off just for being at the shopping center with Narukami. Maybe he was the one responsible. After all, the stoic boy had touched all their lives, brought about an awakening of sorts to their inner beauty that they likely would never have found within themselves without him shedding that light. It just seemed to be one of his latent talents. Unsurprising that he had done the same for the entitled fashionista.

"There seems to be only one solution for this predicament," Naoto was stating firmly with a small nod, finger tapping her chin. "We must return to Aiya to remember our departed friend, and strengthen our bonds with each other."

"Oooh, a party!" Rise piped up with an excited little bounce, despite the light drizzle that was beginning to fall. "Yes please!"

"I guess that's a plan," Chie agreed as Rise, Kanji and Yosuke joined them. "What do you guys think? We catching the portal to the meat dimension?"

Grimacing, Yosuke demanded, "Do you have to call it that every time, Satonaka?! Geesh! Sounds super nasty."

"Bet you can't even handle it."

"Wha- OH YEAH?! BRING IT ON!"

                                                               ~ o ~

"PHWOOOO! I can't even look at it anymore!"

The ragtag group of assorted teenagers, who would seemingly have nothing in common from an outsider's perspective, were all sitting back and holding their stomachs by now. It was almost painful how much meat was straining to escape the linings of their stomachs. Actually, it was painful for some of them.

"Yyyyeah," Rise groaned in agreement with Yukiko's statement, arms like wet noodles at her sides. "My… I'm pregnant… food baby…"

"Even I'm feeling it a little," Chie was chuckling as Rise staggered to her feet. "And normally I can demolish one of these no sweat!"

"Must be… getting old," Yosuke said as their voices began to fade into the background. She could hear Satonaka clapping back at him, but once the bathroom door shut she could no longer identify words, just noise.

In fact… there was a new noise filling the ladies' restroom. Not a pleasant one. Brow furrowing as her lip curled in disgust, she glanced at the bottoms of the stalls and saw a pair of designer shoes with their soles facing up.

"Is… are you okay… in there?"

"HRRK!" What a weird noise — but not nearly as weird as the sound of pronounced retching that followed. God, how disgusting! Maybe she should just backpedal out of the bathroom… but before she could act, there was some spitting, a clearing of the throat, and a strained tone calling out, "Mind your own business! Do you have to be so fucking nosey?!"

Oh no. "Wait — Ebihara?"

"Yes! And this isn't something I want anybody to…" Another gagging noise. "Ugh… you probably have an Aqua Balance on you, don't you, Risette?"

Her eye twitched. "Just because I did the commercials doesn't mean I have a bag full of them on me at all times, you know!" But she still hated to hear a girl in need, so she forced herself to continue, "Need me to hold your hair back?"

"No, I… I got it. Practice."

"Practice? Just how often do you toss your cookies?!"

Dead. Silence. When it had gone on for a few seconds too long to be normal, Rise began to sense she had broached a topic that Ebihara did not want broached. Her brow creased harder, and eventually she said in a meek voice, "I'll… go get you some water."

"Thanks."

She was so preoccupied as she hit the bar to get some ice water for the prissy girl that she didn't even comprehend the words of her friends calling out to her — though she couldn't even see Chie and Yukiko at the table anymore. The rest were probably asking her what she was doing. And what was she doing? Why was she helping this complete bitch who would never do the same thing for her? There was no doubt in her mind that Ebihara would have completely ignored her if she found her voiding her stomach in a public restroom. Might even have laughed at her. But she still remembered how distraught she looked when they said goodbye to their mutual love interest.

Maybe hanging out with the Investigation Team had revived the conscience of a jaded teen idol who had taken a brief hiatus from the spotlight. No, it definitely had done that; what was in question was whether or not the same could be said of Ebihara's willingness to open up to her peers.

"Okay, here," she sighed as she opened the door — and almost ran straight into the girl's face. "WHOA!"

"Shit!" Ai yelped as she took a step back, then patted down her chest. "You made my soul leave my body — what the hell are you doing?!"

"Bringing you water! Do you need to add a little ginkgo to your diet, Obaachan?! It's been like one minute since I told you!"

"Fuck your water! I'm gone, I don't need this!" And she actually tried to push past her.

"Wha- hey! No, you don't just get to run off like this!"

"Don't you tell me what I can and can't do, you cow! Now get your goddamn cankles and your crow's feet out of my fucking way!"

Holy shit. That was a lot of random venom. Rise knew already that she didn't have either of those things, but she still felt the sting regardless.

"I… was trying to help you, but fine. Go away." And she stepped to the side with a flip of one of her mauve-tinted pigtails. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, brat."

What a mistake it had been to be nice to Ebihara. They were too much alike. Sure, Rise knew how to be polite, and was always warm and affectionate with her friends, but they both had the Bitch Gene and it ran strong through their veins. Ebi just led with that instead of saving it for people who deserved it.

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, looking stubbornly into the corner, before she felt the glass of water being taken from her fingers. She started to grab after it — instinct telling her she had dropped it and needed to catch it — until she saw Ai swishing it around in her mouth, then turning to spit into the sink.

"Oh," she breathed.

"What?" Ai grunted before she tipped the glass up again and started gulping it down. The lacy choker above her turtleneck bobbed with every swallow.

"Nothing, I just thought- I mean, did you leave and come back?"

Breathing a loud sigh as she set the glass down, she turned to glare at Rise. "Nosey. You ask too many questions all the time."

"I do not! They're really normal questions; you're just a bitch."

Her eyebrows furrowed, and her jaw tightened. Rise was absolutely positive she was about to give her a tongue lashing. But then she just snorted and shook her head, looking away.

"Wow. I don't know what I expected from Risette, but it wasn't you."

"I know," she began, making this up as she went along. "You either thought I would be completely spoiled and stuck up like you, or I would be such a goody-goody that I never had anything mean to say about anyone. Those are the two flavours of idols, right?"

Ebi smirked and pressed an open palm to the center of her chest. "I spoil myself. And I told you what I went through as a child; don't I deserve it? Isn't this my time to shine?"

"Not if it means you piss off everyone around you while shining. That's just selfish, you know. Don't you care about anyone but yourself?"

"No. Why should I? They don't care about me." Her haughty tone turned bitter. "Nobody in Inaba. Not anymore."

Most of her ire fading, she said, "You gotta put yourself out there. This whole time we've been at Aiya, you barely said a word. I actually forgot you were here until I heard you puking your guts out."

"See my point? The boys who idolize me are the only ones that remember I exist. And even them… I know they don't care about me as a person. They just keep hoping a strong breeze will show them a little flash of my panties."

"No, that's not right. I'm trying to tell you that it's your fault."

"Excuse me?"

"How are we supposed to get to know you if you just hang in the background and never say anything? That doesn't-"

"Look, I don't need to take this," Ebi sighed with a roll of her hazel eyes. "At this point, I just want to go home and be alone. Is that allowed? Or are you going to block the door again?"

Rise's lips thinned in frustration. It wasn't worth it. She didn't want to keep banging her head against this brick wall anymore. So she didn't even say a word; just turned her back on Ebi before she said something particularly nasty.

"Thanks for the water," the other girl offered shortly as she strode out through the door. And that really was it.

"At least she thanked me," she muttered to herself as she finally took her place in one of the stalls to do her business. But in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but replay those conversations over and over in her head.

Because none of that blustering truly hid the fact that Ai Ebihara was in pain. And if nobody did anything about it, Rise was almost dead certain she was heading for disaster.

-------------------------------

                                                 To Be Continued…

[xenoglossy-but-also-fishing]

LFRP: Amandine du Aubrieault

The Basics ––– –

Age: 25

Birthday: 12th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

Race: Elezen.

Gender: Female.

Sexuality: Asexual/grayromantic.

Marital Status: Single.

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Something like deep-gray with black streaks. 

Eyes: Violet. 

Height: About average, for an elezen, she would say. 

Build: Lithe.

Distinguishing Marks: Other than a mark going through her right eyebrow, she doesn’t have any visible scars or marks.

Common Accessories: Her staff if it counts as one, her ear cuffs. Normally wears a necklace and bracelet. A small pouch on the inner side of her coat with gods know what inside of it. 

Personal ––– –

Profession: Usually just says ‘mage’ and leaves it at that.

Hobbies: reading, spending some time with friends, going out once in a while to enjoy herself. Learning about new and exciting things. 

Languages: Eorzean, Ishgardian, a sentence or two in Hannish that she learned from a friend.

Residence: Ishgard. 

Birthplace: Ishgard, presumably.

Religion: Worship of the Fury. 

Patron Deity: Halone, the Fury. 

Fears: Dying without ever knowing the truth that evades her, seaweed, the actual truth that she is trying to find.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: Doesn’t have one. 

Children: N/A

Parents: Reauriene du Aubrieault: adopted mother, deceased. Amandine has no idea on who her biological parents were.

Siblings: Only one that had died before she could really ‘know’ him. 

Other Relatives: None that she’s interested in keeping contact with. More than likely alive.

Pets: None. 

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable (depends on the first impressions, really.) / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal 

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: Tried it once, hated it, never bothered trying much afterwards. 

Drugs: The Fury said drugs are a big no-no. …Probably. Anyways, she has no interest in them. 

Alcohol: More of a social drinker. Usually drinks only wine, even at that. 

RP Hooks ––– –

Ishgardian - Amandine was raised in Ishgard for nearly all of her life. Up until two years ago, she had never even stepped foot outside of the Holy See. If your character happens to be Ishgardian as well, then perhaps you may recognize her from somewhere, like running into each other while shopping or by sitting together in church. 

Out From the Rumor Mill - There was a minor rumour that had started up at some point, two years ago. A terrible illness had taken over Reauriene du Aubrieault, and just as suddenly as it had come, she passed in her sleep. The family attempted to keep it covered, yet such things have a habit of getting out.   

Made more difficult when the apparent heir of the house did not take up her mother’s title, instead going to the aunt, instead. Combined with talk from those employed to the family that said Amandine was being cast from the family on several suspicions of heresy, and having potentially poisoned her mother to claim the title… made no better by her just-as- sudden disappearance. Mayhap one with a good memory and keen eye could recognize this wayward daughter of the Aubrieault family.

Out on the Road - contrary to how the story of many Ishgardians vanishing without another word after being suspected of heresy would usually go, Amandine did not suddenly join a merry band of heretics, or get flung from the edge of Witchdrop. Consciously aware of the latter being a distinct possibility, however, she left Ishgard behind one snowy eve and started off on her own into the great world beyond— she would live out her days as an adventurer, free to go where so ever she chose, to do as she wished. Could it be that you met this bright-eyed adventurer once? She was quite often seen sulking in Gridania after a disappointing pay for her efforts.

Looking For - most things! Friends, rivals, enemies, frenemies… and maybe romantic-esque things, though that one is a little more unsure. (Also probably worth mentioning I don’t do ERP. I’m willing to go with fade to black, but actually like… rping that kinda stuff out is a big pass.) 

I’m up for discussing ways that they might know each other, anyways! There’s bound to be some interesting ideas we can brainstorm up.

Contact Information  ––– –

Heya! So, there are pretty much three easy ways to find me— tumblr, discord, or just in game in general. 

I can be found on @yafaemi​ (my main blog), or here, on xenoglossy. This is my side blog for- you guessed it- Amandine. Feel free to shoot a message! I usually have access to tumblr from either my phone or computer.

Another is discord. You’re more likely to get a quicker answer on discord to be honest, I usually have my discord open. My discord is rory#4178, if you want to get in contact for anything! 

Then there’s ingame. All of my characters are on Mateus in particular, I don’t really have alts anywhere else. This is a bit more of a gamble, since I might not be on in general. Though, if you do happen to see either Amandine Aubrieault, Aurora Rivers, or Oliver Elysande running around on Crystal, feel free to say hi! It’s more than likely me, unless I have twins that I don’t know about. And if I do have twins I don’t know about, well… that’s cool, too. I guess.

I’m usually free during the afternoons every week during normal times, and pretty much all day every day during… not normal times. Being this specific time. But ya, we can probably work something out! My timezone is EST. I live in Canada, if that makes it more specific. 

Anyways! Before I forget to add it, here is Amandine’s carrd info as well!

[galaxae]

3, 7 and 18 for as many as you can answer; btw do you still have an ocs page? like with introductions and all that

wow this took forever oops!

tysm for the ask!! i’ve been meaning to make a carrd or something with oc intros, but i have so goddamn many ocs and so little time now that i’m in college and all that. and i have the code saved from my old pages before i remade, but those are kind of outdated and incomplete

that being said i’m probably gonna end up making that carrd regardless of how busy i am cause special interest indulgence and all that, so i’ll post about it when i do

anyway! i’m putting the actual oc answers under a readmore because i’m gonna try to do all the ocs i listed and it’ll be kinda long lol

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

how does one even describe voices... ok here goes

avani: she’s my character for a ttrpg campaign, so her voice sounds basically like mine (which might not help much cause you don’t know how i talk lol), but when i’m talking as her i pitch my voice up a bit and make it a bit more nasally. she’s not much of a singer, nor can she whistle, but she can roll her r’s pretty well. also, since she’s autistic and hard of hearing, her tone of voice often comes off the "wrong” way

farhan: he’s another ttrpg character i play lol, or at least he will be next semester, so his voice is again kind of like mine. but when i talk as him i pitch my voice down and it’s a bit hoarse. ig his voice would also be more “masculine” than mine but whatever. he can sing and whistle but has a pretty small vocal range (since he’s, like, 13 right now and will be 16 when i rp him next semester)

carter: i imagine his voice as low and on the quiet and raspy end, with a tiny bit of a lisp. he’s way too insecure to try to sing or even whistle or anything like that, though if he practiced at it he’d probably get pretty good

calira: she’s mute so n/a i guess. but she talks pretty formally in her dialect of elvish sign language, which is definitely unusual

sam: they have kind of a low voice that’s also raspy, but with quite a bit of pep and variation in their tone. they can even sing pretty well and they like to whistle constantly while working. that creates some kind of whiplash cause sam comes off as a typical edgy teen a lot of the time

jizoriel: high-pitched with lots of voice cracks, peak pretentious preteen/early teen jerkass. he can’t really sing or do anything similar, nor does he want to very much

victoria: so quiet and raspy that you can barely make out that it’s low and has a soothing and pleasant tone to it. she can sing well, or at least she could once upon a time

rowan: just! the happiest and most cheerful voice you can imagine! so much love behind how she talks! her voice fills up her whole head and the whole room!! and she whistles sometimes while she walks

ace: defies any masculine or feminine labels, smooth and cool in theory but they stutter quite a bit

charity: gruff but with a hint of cheer and clarity behind it that comes out when she’s startled. she loves to sing but can’t whistle and can’t roll her r’s either

jamal: i actually have a voiceclaim for him! it’s this (the voice that sings from 1:51 to 1:58)

kimberly: her voice is a bit high and a bit... idk how to say it exactly... i guess shrill would be the word?

fabián: his voice seems higher-pitched than it actually is cause he talks higher when he’s anxious, and he’s always anxious. it’s a bit hard to describe his voice otherwise tbh. i can hear it in my head but i can’t quite put it to paper oops. oh yeah also he has a great singing voice but never uses it sooo

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

this question opens up a wormhole cause i have playlists for many of these guys but instead i’ll just provide one (1) song for each and vaguely describe their music taste, how does that sound

avani: honestly “mr. capgras encounters a secondhand vanity” by will wood is a “her” song to me. her music taste leans a lot more toward older music though (like some classics from the 70s and 80s and such)

farhan: he’s still very new so i haven’t really found a song for him yet. but i know he absolutely loves peppy and energetic pop music and also sappy gay love songs

carter: (slaps my hand away when i try to type another will wood song) “fantasy island” by the shins always launches me into daydreams about him. which kinda roughly aligns with his music taste, he listens to a lot of those “mainstream indie” artists. he’d also listen to will wood because he’s gay and mentally ill <3

calira: one of my favorite songs on her playlist is “maximillian von spee” by dirt poor robins. but the music she listens to is basically all invigorating church-loving stuff with medieval-era instruments lmao

sam: “sometimes” by nick lutsko is an absolute bop and very much a sam song. sam actually doesn’t go out of their way to listen to music though, but when they do they listen to either the most soothing and relaxing stuff or to the angriest metal emo music. no in between

jizoriel: i’ll go the less emo angle here and say a song that reminds me of him is “upside down” by jack johnson. jizoriel’s music taste is like. old choir music and shit plus incomprehensible magical music that doesn’t even sound like music. if he was from earth he’d like my chemical romance

victoria and rowan: i’m grouping these two together here because a song that reminds me very strongly of both of them/their relationship is “human” by dodie. which actually fits very well into both of their music tastes!

ace: again, going the less edgy angle here, “auntie earth” by walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra. but ace mostly listens to uh, classical flute music and flute covers

charity: absolutely “dance and cry” by mother mother, that’s pretty much her theme song. it’s among her favorite songs in canon too

jamal: “tire swing” by los elk, since his arc is about letting go of childhood and all that jazz. he’s more inclined to listen to fun. and other pop artists and rappers and such. he likes janelle monae

kimberly: “best tears” by the happy fits for sure. in terms of her music taste though, her taste is pretty similar to jamal’s. they bond over being janelle monae fans

fabián: by god does “heal” by so much light fit him. his taste is that he rotates through three (3) specific obscure indie artists lmao, so theoretically i guess that specific song is included in there

18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?

i am gonna do my best to keep these short cause this is a loaded question for all of them hoo boy

avani: how she sees herself: honestly the worst person alive. unless she spends every moment of her time trying to make up for what she’s done, she’s worthless, and she doesn’t deserve to love herself in any capacity how others see her: her brother (farhan) really looks up to her! most of the time. the superhero team she’s on (other people’s ocs) all think she’s generally smart and capable enough, and her boyfriend in particular thinks she’s incredible

farhan: how he sees himself: as of right now? a misunderstood emo middle schooler who’s still kind of cool i guess how others see him: his sister (avani) thinks he’s quite an impressive and charismatic young man

carter:  how he sees himself: 1/10 awkward and annoying how others see him: carter reminds calira too much of her old self, so she love-hates him. sam thinks he’s weak and cowardly but admires his kindness. and jizoriel clings to him as a caring father figure and loves carter’s passion for natural studies

calira: how she sees herself: it goes back and forth between “i’m the greatest chosen one ever im such a strong warrior” and “wow i’m literal trash why did the gods pick me for this” how others see her: carter is a bit intimidated by her but appreciates her attempts to vibe with him, sam thinks she’s an annoying pretentious self-important bitch (but their opinion softens over time), and jizoriel sees right through her facade and feels comfortable around her because of it

sam:  how they see themself: evil and in need of redemption, kind of similar to avani ig but with 10x more confidence in their skills and also much more violent how others see them: carter knows theyre doing their best even if theyre kind of an asshole, calira is a fan of their strength and determination, and jizoriel Hates Their Guts (at first) because they baby him too much

jizoriel: how he sees himself: a fucking fraud of a prince. all he has going for him is his abilities as a mage, but even then those are shaky how others see him: carter knows he’s very insecure and wants to comfort him, calira admires his magical prowess and noble air, and sam thinks he’s a snarky little pretentious douchebag but also he reminds them of their late brother and they want to protect him at all costs

victoria: how she sees herself: basically dead. only good for interacting with ghosts. not worthy of the human world or of friendship how others see her: she reminds rowan of her old self. rowan sees a glimmer of love and hope in her and wants to bring it out

rowan: how she sees herself: a fucking mess but she’s trying her best and that’s what counts! how others see her: victoria very much appreciates her cheerful air even if she doesn’t act like it

ace: how they see themself: way too weird to be human, way too weak not to be. their self-image changes constantly. theyre very confused about everything please help how others see them: charity is literally dating them lol she thinks theyre the cutest person alive, jamal appreciates how hard they try as a friend, kimberly thinks theyre an alien invader whom she can study and use to get further in life, and fabián knows more about ace than anyone else and loves them for it

charity: how she sees herself: a Teenager who’s struggling. she desperately wants to be young without the burden of her trauma but whether she thinks of herself as emo and sad and angry or not depends a lot on her mood how others see her: ace adores everything about her, jamal loves how cool and fun and sociable she can be, kimberly is annoyed with her rebelliousness, and fabián worries very much for her well-being and can’t shake the image of her as helpless (oops that’s gonna cause some drama)

jamal: how he sees himself: just a chill guy trying to get by. unremarkable. how others see him: ace is grateful for how forgiving he can be but is still terrified of him being angry over [spoilers], charity loves how sociable and fun he is and how protective he can be of his friends, kimberly secretly envies his carefree nature, and fabián sees him as a solid acquaintance to whom he did not give a good first impression

kimberly: how she sees herself: not good! if she can’t grow up fast and do science well then she’s useless how others see her: ace wants to be friends with her but doesn’t know how to do that, charity is annoyed by her rule-bound-ness, jamal thinks she’s cool but should unwind a little, and fabián resents her at first but would still like to play chess with her sometime

fabián: how he sees himself: he has a moral responsibility to help people Or Else. way too anxious and stuck up but he doesn’t know how to change that how others see him: ace fuckin Loves this guy, charity loves him too but she gets pissed when he tries to help her with anything, jamal genuinely thinks he’s a great guy and wants to get to know him better, and kimberly is actually impressed by him and envies his apparent confidence and charisma

ok ok that’s it i promise. sorry this is so long and tysm for reading if you made it this far!! feel free to ask more oc questions literally whenever, that goes for anyone reading this <3

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @sun-moon-stars-jedi thank you so much!

Name(s): singtheskyandfightlikehell, angelsandbrowncoats. I used to go by (The) Q bc of star trek and a private joke but some fuckers went and ruined that as a fun thing to call myself online, so if you want something a little easier to roll off the tongue than my usernames, idk bro... in middle school, my tolkien elf!sona was called Lethgaril, I guess that works lmao

Fandoms: So many. My current obsession is Batfam|Jayroy (and I’m inching towards Arrowfam as well). My lifelong fandom is Lord of the Rings. A (believe it or not) short list of some others I may or may not make content for in the future includes: Les Misérables (the brick over the musical, but I like both), Jane Austen’s works, Shakespeare’s works (esp. Hamlet & Much Ado), Pygmalion/My Fair Lady (the author has never been more alive, Eliza can’t mustn't shouldn’t and won’t marry Higgins), Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Death in Paradise, Shakespeare & Hathaway, Redwall, Dirk Gently, Galavant, Oxford Time Travel, Bartimaeus, The Good Place, and like... 30s/40s screwball comedies in general

Where you post: AO3 (angelsandbrowncoats), but I post links to tumblr & I have a full list of fic links and descriptions on my pinned carrd

Most popular one shot (by kudos):

Overall: It’s You, You’re All I See (Good Omens)

This Year: Worth the Wait (JayRoy)

Most popular multi-chap (also by kudos):

Overall: 2 Cups Feelings & A Dash of Common Sense (Gotham, permanent WIP, sorry)

This Year: PriestHood (JayRoy, technically multi-chap)

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Probably one of my WIPs, tbh (actually I’d say my original work based on my wild as fuck connected dreams that I may or may not ever publish) but of the complete ones, I’ll say It Need Not Follow (JayRoy) bc I really enjoy writing misunderstandings that turn out well and I amused myself a lot writing the confrontation between Jason and Roy in that one

Fic you were nervous to post: Of my recent ones, I’d say Worth the Wait because it was my first JayRoy fic and also it has a darker, more serious tone than a lot of what I write (although recently I’ve been in the mood to write heavier emotional scenes, so maybe that’s not quite true anymore).

How do you choose your titles: My preferred method is choosing a recurring theme or meaningful quote from the work as the title, but if I’m struggling to find one I like, I’ll sometimes use song lyrics or references to other works that vibe with the story. Mostly I use the latter for chapter titles rather than work titles, though.

Do you outline: I never mean to, but on longer fics I always end up losing the thread of the story and I end up having to outline anyway. Usually I just type a paragraph or two about what I want to have happen, or I’ll make a list of the things I don’t want to forget to include (mostly jokes for comedy pieces).

Complete: 105 total (not including original fiction or my recently orphaned high school works), 3 recent

In progress: 6, only counting ones with a significant portion written

Coming soon/not yet started: I no longer post my WIPs until they’re complete bc I’m really bad at finishing things and I’m tired of disappointing my readers, but here are a few of the ideas I’m working on or planning:

>A Thanksgiving JayRoy romcom that I’ll probably wait until next year to post bc it took too goddamn long, based on that “hire me to be your shitty (fake) boyfriend for thanksgiving” post except they fall for each other ofc. Also for some unfathomable reason I wrote a dark prequel for it featuring badass good mom!Talia

>A kinda sorta requested fic about the Bats needing to find the Supers and finding them at a good old fashioned midwestern barn dance that ends with the Bats having to square dance

>A fic based on an idea I had three years ago that Amanda Grayson from Star Trek is Dick Grayson’s descendant where she accidentally travels into the past and meets him

>A JayRoy bodyguard fic that was, again, supposed to be a short comedy but has quickly morphed into something huge about Jason refusing to become the Red Hood and instead getting revenge on Bruce via a long prank where he becomes Oliver Queen & family’s bodyguard but they don’t know who he is

>An experimental piece to help me explore relationships where a magical artifact traps various people connected to Jason in a strange, empty world that feels a bit apocalyptic but isn’t. There are four total groups of people, each in a different location to start with, and they basically have to work all their issues with each other out before they can leave.

>My one and only Bruce-centric fic designed to keep the Graysons alive where a lot of the same elements of Batman’s story happen but for different reasons, all beginning with Bruce’s parents getting shot outside the circus instead of the theater, Bruce getting amnesia, and John Grayson convincing his family to take in the injured amnesiac boy he finds

>and The Big One (aka the longest thing I’ve ever written in my life, which isn’t half done yet): JayRoy fake marriage featuring Lian, mutual pining, PTA/suburban shenanigans, social commentary, and long emotional arcs about familial reconciliation for both of them that may or may not be slower than the slowburn romance

Prompts: Feel free to send me prompts/requests, but I don’t guarantee I’ll write them. If I’m feeling it, I’m feeling it, and if I’m not, I’m not!

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: The novel-length fake marriage story, of course! Also the bodyguard AU, because the entire thing stems from one (1) incredibly inane joke and I can’t wait to post the chapter that includes the joke and revel in the groans

I can never think of anyone to tag for these things, esp. since I don’t really talk to people much on here anymore, but as always, if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged by me!