#so all I have to know is they just don't want to be near me

[mouchiiarts]

1. My first ever oc was a character named Khaos. He was originally a human who was experimented on and turned into a chimera by a facility who had been advertising themselves as a medical institution who could heal miraculously disabled children/people. Khaos ran away with another girl, who'd been turned into a half snow leopard anthro and eventually they found a portal to another dimension and escaped there. Oh btw he was basically a humanoid Discord from MLP.

2. If I had to choose, it would probably be either Gaelför or Akina. They're my favorites not because of their designs, but also because of their stories.

3. Nope. I'd love to, but the ones I come across typically are outside of my budget.

4. Probably some of my older oc's! Like Angela or my Suitor Armor oc's.

5. Gaelför and Fukukochoumi Akina! Out of all of my oc's, these two are my favorites.

6. I think for the most part my oc's are decently distinct in their appearances from one another. But I can see Nunah and Angela possibly being confused for siblings or something similar?

7. Yes! Gaelför, Kirsi, and other oc's are a part of a story I'm calling "Black Snow." I plan to turn it into a webcomic, and I'm currently working on the script and official character sheets for the most important characters. Anything about them is under the "black snow" tag on my tumblr.

8. Nope. I don't RP.

9. I don't think so. All of my oc's are very near and dear to me, I couldn't possibly part with them!

10. This is just her concept art. Her final design will definitely be more complex.

11. Tia! She's my baby and I absolutely love her I don't draw her enough.

12. Lukas! He's an absolute sweetheart and he's super curious about earth and everything about it!

13. Kiora! She's a chaotic neutral tiefling bard, so she's bound to be mischievous to some degree.

14. Gaelför again lol. Although I won't reveal everything bc I want to keep some things a suprise for the comic, I'll reveal a few things. His tribe were betrayed by a village of humans, which led to the death of his parents and planted the seed of his hatred for humans.

15. Yes!

16. Mm... Probably Mitsuha? She's quite shy and nervous around people, but she has an excellent memory and loves to learn new things.

17. (I'm including some oc x canon) Chisuke x Keigo Takami, Fukukochoumi Akina x Thoma, Gaelfor x Kirsi, Tia x Fenrir, Adria x Iida, and likely more.

18. Nope!

19. Gosh, all of my oc's mean something to me. But Akina probably means the most. She's one of the oldest oc's I still have (in terms of how intact she is with her original self). Her journey of self acceptance and owning her own femininity and becoming more confident in herself after she's found friends/a place to call home means a lot to me.

20. None of my oc's really sing aside from Akina? I don't have a voice actress in mind, but she'd definitely have a very beautiful singing voice that's very strong and melidoc.

21. I don't have one!

22. Not really? I know some of my oc's will eventually get mischaracterized, but none at the moment.

23. Akina! Originally, she was a calico cat girl maneki neko, although she did sell enchanted charms and trinkets like her modern counterpart!

24. Definitely Tia! She's an absolute sweetheart and I would love to have tea with her in her cottage.

25. ... Kirsi. She's about my height (a little taller) and has short hair like me. It's not as curly as mine though! And my hair isn't white lol

26. Nope. Any and all changes I've done to my oc's have been of my own choice or for the betterment of their story.

27. Nope.

28. Chisuke or Gaelför. Chisuke because of her incredibly dangerous blood quirk, quick reflexes, and ruthlessness. Gaelför because of his strength combined with his firescales.

29. None of them would lol. Either they're too scared to, or they just don't want to.

30. Igni (Gaelför and Kirsi's adopted eldest daughter). She acts all tough and abrasive, but she would 1000% have a huge hoard of plushies

31. Tia would have a very soft cottage core theme blog. Lots of recipes, plants, and lots of nature photos. She'd probably have like a Howl's Moving Castle gifset reblogged every couple days too.

32. Gaelfor! Gaelfor 100%! Especially early chapters Gaelfor! He's a 7'9" Ddraikin who can heat up his scales to incredibly hot temperatures. Once he figures out how, he can be an incredibly ruthless hunter, who's good at tracking scents, combat, and other skills.

33. Mitsuha! She's a maneki neko yokai who's super shy, but once you get to know her, she'll be one of your closest friends.

34. Yep! Sïndri and Nyx are Gaelför and Kirsi's twin boys! I haven't drawn them yet!

35. Fenrir and Callum are brothers. Gaelför also has a sister named Ylva. Akina has her younger brother, Haitao, and her younger sister, Iyla.

36. Not yet. I have an Avatar (2009) oc I'm hoping to pair with a mutual's oc! But she hasn't had the chance to design him yet.

37. Lukas. He's a tall, lanky alien boy for a sci-fi alien story I had in mind. He's a part of a species which is mostly humanoid, but they're built for their mostly aquatic nocturnal planet.

38. Akina! She's literally a performer and her dance is used as an opening show for a specific autumn festival in Inazuma!

39. I unfortunately cannot remember his name at the moment, but he's a human who's super into the supernatural and aliens. He's Lukas' best friend and is the only human who knows Lukas is a shapeshifting alien.

40. All of them have fond memories, really! Just drawing them is enough fun for me.

41. Yes! Quite a few people have! A mutual @roxxiespirt has drawn this of my MHA oc Iron Eagle in my Mama Bird au!

42. Probably Carmen. She's a total bookworm (she's also from the unnamed alien story)

43. ... body type can kinda vary but... skinny women with a pixie cut/short hair. They are also kinda standoffish or a more tsundere archetype. I don't know why. But this has happened multiple times. Chisuke (MHA), Angela Lumonte (Spy X Family), Andromeda (BG3), Nunah (Suitor Armor), etc. I uh. Have a type I enjoy drawing apparantly.

44. I like that, to some degree, they all have one or more trait of myself. Some of them are nervous as well as confident, some show they're capable of change, and others don't. Plus their designs are all super fun to draw,

45. I have.. so many. There are so so many characters from older/abandoned stories that I no longer use. But in an older version of Black Snow (originally titled Silver Rings and Potion Bottles) Kirsi (then Kiki) had a sister,, which turned into a lot of different sisters. There was also Oliver, who was a redesigned version of Khaos to fit into the SRaPB universe. He was one of Kiki's witch friends!

46. ... yeah. I kinda enjoy traumatizing my friends with the lore I create for my oc's so I've definitely been told I'm being mean to them.

47. Sorta? They say (insert oc name) is baby but not specifically their baby if you know what I mean.

48. Fynn! He's the golden sunshine dead husband of Nunah! He was a really kind herbalist Nunah absolutely fell in love with when they first met as teens. He's... unfortunately dead. But he's a sweet lad.

49. Lukas. Or Carmen.

50. Gaelför belongs to a species/race from my original story Black Snow! They're native to the continent of Gal'ruk, and tend to stick to the northern parts of the continent, on the other side of a wall of active volcanoes called the Ignimurus! When he was about 10, he snuck away from his tribe to go and fight off the group of Seekers (Ddraikin hunters/collectors) who were camping close to them. He was quickly overpowered by the hunters, and was taken away from his tribe. He was then enslaved as an Executioner in the human city of Cal'deur for 14 years. He only managed to escape the city because of a chance escape he made one day while in the ring with a magi prisoner he was supposed to kill (Kirsi). He's not exactly what I would call a good person towards the beginning of his story. He's cruel, unkind, and only thinks for himself. It isn't until he makes a deal with Kirsi to help him get home, along with some other misadventures along the way, does he actually begin to grow and change for the better!

Some OC questions

[f0ofishies]

Don't look back

Being apart of the itoshi family, others might seem you've got lucky being blessed by two superstars of footballers. Now you're not as good as them, but you did used to have the same passion as them. You remembered when you were little— straining your ankle crying like a baby. You remembered vividly on how Sae's arms held you up as Rin was already running up to your parents. "Mama..! she's hurt..!"

"Rin, that hurts..!" Your little whined echoed through out your own bedroom. He was tending to your foot, with some cream to soothe your injured ankle. "But its supposed to be—" Sae couldn't help but sigh, "Let me do it." His voice caught the both of you off guard. "I thought you had school?" Your voice interrupting the silence.

"I skipped." Both you and Rin had widened eyes. "No fair!" Rin taunted as you agreed with him. "Yeah, no fair..!" It wasn't until you both stopped complaining that Sae had bribed you both to play on his Nintendo DS. So the whole day, the three of you were just sucked into the game— both claiming it'll help with the recovery of a sprained ankle... it really wasn't.

Now that was a distant memory, another one you also remembered was when you were waiting for your family in the airport. Before Sae could even board the plane to go to spain— you've unexpectedly ran towards him.. puffed up cheeks, tears streaming down. You crashed into his chest as you sobbed. "Don't leave—!"

A plea came out of your mouth as Sae couldn't help but hug you as tightly as you did to him. Even Rin joined in on the hug, his arms wrapped around the both of you. "I'll come back.." You whined once more, burying your face into his shirt soaking the fabric. "You gotta promise—" You remembered the silly little pinky promise he did to you before he left.

Watching Sae come home from Spain— broke your heart. "Sae..?" You called out to him, he looked cold and that scared the teenager you. "What do you want?" You froze in your place, "Rin is still out late.. can you fetch him?" Your voice low as you watched your oldest brother leave. And that was when Rin came back home, but Sae didn't. "Rin where's—" "I don't want to talk, sis."

It was even worse when Rin got accepted to bluelock. You huffed going out to see Rin practicing near your house, "Rin..! You haven't eaten!" You watched as he ignored your pleas— he was kicking the many footballs aligned to the goals.

"It's getting late, come back inside, please!" One thing led to another, and that was when Rin kicked the ball to your direction as you narrowly dodged it. "What the hell, Rin—"

"Shut up! I don't need your concerns. And I dont need a little sister."

That statement broke you, you've just locked yourself in your own bedroom. Both parents didn't know how to handle the both of you, so when Rin left— their little ray of sunshine daughter was gone. Highschool started, you couldn't balance them at all. Grades failing faster than you could even count the number of days that passed.

You've had it— you couldn't care less what happened to your brothers. The news displaying their names, your parents joyous for their sons while you shut off the news rolling your own eyes. You were going to change, and that was when you saw a college worth going, it even had its own foundation. And now we're back at the present, of where your true life started.

You've fallen in love, made friends, got broken up with, and even moved to another country far from Japan without the support of your own brothers. Rin and Sae weren't on your mind anymore, nor did you even care on checking up on them. It wasn't until someone had said two young men were looking for her.

Opening the dormitory door to see both Rin and Sae, covered in their big puffy jackets. You froze, looking up at them. Before one of them could speak, "Don't." They both were here— why? Did your parents tell them? You wanted to slam the door in front of their faces. "We were worried... how come you didn't ask us to go to your high school graduation?"

You scoffed, "I never had one—" They both froze now, but Rin came forward. "How?" You bit your lip, "I went into foundation before I could graduate, but of course, how could you know? Football was more important." Sae sighed. "You know that's not—" "But it is the truth..! Or are you blind?" Your words echoed in the hallways. Both Itoshi brothers froze at the harsh words.

"You know Blue lock changed my career.." Rin whispered, approaching you, you backed away. "Yeah, and completely wrecked our connection as siblings." Sae interrupted, "And I was busy with the—" "Don't even talk, you have no right.. when you left out of nowhere!" Your voice echoed, it mightve made people heard the commotion going in the dormitory.

"What I want both of you is to leave and never come back because I'm not your little sister anymore." They both looked shocked— how could you say that to them? "But you are our.." You had to push Sae away from you, it was clear they didn't thought things through. They just wanted to see you, their little sister on where she's been.. even going as far to approach her.

"No, she died when you both left and never looked back. Now leave."

[frillydolle]

need pitfighter vi getting jealous of people eyeing up nice reader at the bar and pulling you into her lap and marking up your neck in front of everyone😇

mean pitfighter vi x sweet female reader

꒰ 𝝑𓏲 ꒱ vi is touchy , even a little possessive , suggestive near end!

the colour of their names gave me a subtle idea. . .

after a huuge win, vi decided that u two should celebrate with drinks at the last drop. it's not like the two of u would have to wait for such a long time since, by now, everyone knew who vi was. she's gained a.. interesting reputation in the undercity.

and so she's holding ur hand guiding u through the crowd of people, taking u to a slight secluded booth just for the u both but unbeknownst to u, many people were looking at the two of u.

well, more so looking at u.

u were a pretty girl, a happy, bubbly, sweet girl. like u didn't belong in zaun, more like piltover. people couldn't help but look of u, even some of the men within the bar were oogling at u, as ur dress flowed gracefully with each step u took as u followed vi to the booth.

u were completely different to vi, but everyone says that opposites attract, don't they?

and ur at the bar, waiting on the drinks. no one in the place even dared to talk to u, and u know why, it's not like u felt someone's intense gaze om the back of ur head. like a hawk watching its prey. and u didnt mind her gaze too much, in fact, it made u feel all funny inside, like u adored everything moment. vi kept her gaze fixed on u, making sure that no one dared to talk to the pretty girl. her pretty girl.

with that bubbly, sweet smile plastered on ur face as u walked ur way back to vi, placing the two drinks on the table before her hand wrapped around ur waist, pulling u to her lap in one swift motion. and your heart skipped a beat-

“theres my pretty girl, did i make ya proud?” “'course you did, silly! i just worry 'bout you so much, vi..” and a small giggle left ur lips.

soon, she pulled u closer and started kissing ur neck. and u, being the most loveliest girl she's ever meet, moved ur head slightly just so she could gain more access. a stray of giggles following ur actions. and that made her smirk, increasing the kisses that made their path to ur collarbone back up to ur neck.

“vii! what are you- dont put ur hand there! they'll see us!” “..i dont care, i wanna make sure they all know you're mine.”

her hand retraces just from the underside of ur breast, back down to ur sides. her lips trace back up to ur neck before she bite down, just slightly, enough to leave u a bite mark. a lovebite, to be more specific. she wasn't a girl to share specific why would she not let everyone know that ur her girlfriend?

“you're just so pretty, make me want to mark you up in front of everyone here... not like they'd notice.. or care.”

god, her words sent down to ur lower abdomin, the way she talks to u could be so... filthy, knowing her true intentions and yet, u have never complained once!

she gave u another one. and another one, and then another one after that.

“let me take you when we get home, yeah?”

[queervegancryptid]

Seriously, academics and the like are flawed like the rest of us, so use critical thinking skills even when you're talking to an "expert" (obligatory disclaimer half because this is the internet and half because I majored in philosophy and am wont to quarrel about what exactly counts as an "expert" because my brain is wrong)

BUT

I promise that, in general, they will be very happy to talk about their work. Academics in particular, a lot of them I've known, don't get to pursue exactly what they want all the time. So when you engage with them on topics they actually have a background in, they sometimes forget how to act and infodump with the enthusiasm of your autistic friend who lights up talking about their special interests. All the ivory tower pretentious bullshit you sometimes have to cake onto yourself in that world, it can just crumble to dust with the force of their excitement about actually getting to talk about things that interest them rather than having to publish for publishing's sake or having to teach a course because someone in the department has to and it's their turn. (Seriously, I don't know if this is common knowledge, but that's actually how some departments run things: I taught the intro course last year, so it's so-and-so's turn next. See, for example, the dude who taught my intro to astronomy course. Lecture was a snoozefest. The planetarium and outdoor work? He was a different man. The final grades for the class had like a 40 point curve. It was kind of a mess. But it was cool when he actually wanted to be there.)

I used to say that was my favorite part of academia, but then I realized it's the main thing about that world that drew me in: I wanted a place where I would be expected and encouraged to explore in ways I wasn't allowed (or wasn't able, not having the resources and living in a small town) to do when I was a kid. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to, but that's a story for another post.

It's why I love libraries. There's a "bookmine" near me (I don't want to doxx myself naming it but DM me if you want and I'll elaborate) that I would fucking adore to roam for days and days. Or just nights. You know, sneak in and hide in this massive building full of books, wait for them to close and go home for the evening, and just go to town exploring various subjects. Also my partner would be there so we could gab to each other about our discoveries. I feel like a lot of people, academic types especially but not exclusively, can relate to this yearning to explore and share.

Don't feel like the only people worth talking to are folks with advanced degrees or prestigious titles, though. Academics can be easy to find relative to other kinds of experts, but good information can come from anybody. Not just somebody with an email address ending in edu. At the same time, beware of influencers and whatnot, obviously. Good information can come from anywhere, and the same is true of bad information. Someone saying things with a lot of confidence isn't necessarily telling you the truth and doesn't necessarily know what they're talking about.

Anyway. Send the email. I promise you're not bothering them by asking about the thing they literally got at least one advanced degree learning about on purpose (in the case of academics, but like I said, this can apply more broadly than that; read the room and shoot your shot, or whatever the kids are saying nowadays). I have a lot more to say about this and may even make a post to help people find experts in a given field of study and how to use responsible critical thinking skills and research methods more generally, especially if anybody expresses an interest in any of that. But I've babbled enough on somebody else's post lol I apologize and also it will happen again

Signed - your local autistic philosopher weirdo who just really really likes information and libraries and finding and exploring cool stuff and can't shut up about it sometimes

[avelera]

I’m curious how you think Jayce and Viktor’s romantic/sexual relationship most likely unfolded within the context of the two Arcane seasons. Do you think it would have looked something like the trajectory from Distinguished Innovators or were they just pining for each other but entirely oblivious of the other person's feelings until the very end (especially with what you said at some point about the possibility of Mel being Jayce’s first)

Hmm, so there's fanfic and canon to consider here. I think with fanfic, it can be anything the author desires.

Technically, I think the most canon-accurate romantic read of what's happening on the page is that Jayce and Viktor have feelings for each other but neither is totally aware of their feelings until Jayce has his moment staring into the fire in 2.07 when he "chooses" Viktor. Then Jayce basically confesses during their big final scene and we get a lot of hints that Viktor has felt the same way or been silently and hopelessly pining for him and now they're finally together.

But that never quite works for me because it requires a little too much "carrying the idiot ball" like... these guys spent the entire time skip between 1.03-1.04 in close quarters at all hours of the day creating Hextech together. That's before Jayce becomes the "Man of Progress" or any of that stuff and was just a regular and possibly crazy researcher who almost got banished, so it can't always be a status difference. And Jayce is so affectionate, and he falls for Mel so quickly, I really truly struggle to imagine that with no barriers to a relationship (Runeterra canonically does not have homophobia) they wouldn't have gotten together sooner if something else wasn't in the way.

So, personally, I think that they've tried to or come very close to a relationship in the past, but something prevented them from going all the way and now it's that near-miss is still there in their physicality with one another, and both might still long for it, but one of them is holding it back from happening while the other just thinks it's hopeless and I honestly think after S2 it's Viktor holding back because of his declining health, while Jayce is the one thinking he hasn't got a shot so he might as well, tragically, look elsewhere.

And I'll go into a bit more detail on why I believe that for a romantic read of these two:

(Obviously you can just go the boring old "cuz they're not romantic" but I think that's dull and reductive and presumably not why anyone is the Jayvik tag)

I also don't totally buy the idea that they hadn't figured it out yet? These are two young men in their 20s, who basically instantly connect with one another, share everything, and are openly physically affectionate with each other from the first. In my fic Distinguished Innovators there's a certain amount of shyness and the fact they're just busy to deal with but they're still young men, it's why the fic postulates a physical relationship between them that isn't exclusive or official and thus doesn't change their status as "partners".

But in fics of mine like Parley I first floated another possibility that with time I find more convincing argument: Viktor knows he doesn't have long to live, so he's resolved to keep a certain distance from Jayce and not interfere with any sort of love life he might have (even if it destroys him with jealousy) because he doesn't want Jayce to be totally destroyed by his death, which given how openly affectionate Jayce is, seems inevitable.

This one works for me increasingly because it means the characters don't need to carry the idiot ball. Viktor can have his own strong reasons for not wanting to involve Jayce in that kind of relationship and Jayce can read that Viktor doesn't want to be involved with him in that way, and maybe they even got close and he was pushed back, and he's just respecting that now because he's just happy to have his soulmate in his life in any way he can have him (which I truly sincerely believe is a canonically supported read of Jayce no matter how romantic you see their relationship).

Then the tricky thing about a disease like that is... how much time does he actually have? If it's months, he should focus on leaving a legacy, which Viktor does. If it's years, in theory, they could work on a cure for him, but what if that doesn't work? Then you run into the tragedy of the longer he lives, the more he comes to regret not being with Jayce anyway. Then there's the question of a Hextech cure. I can see Viktor resolving to himself that if he's ever cured, then he'll confess to Jayce. Which feels all but impossible at the end of S1 when Sky dies, but then in 2.08, in the Council chamber scene, it really feels like Viktor finally feels like he's allowed to openly pursue Jayce because he's "perfect" now, and that to me is a linchpin of the idea that Viktor was holding himself back from pursuing Jayce openly because of his health.

Oh and I still think it's possible that Mel is Jayce's first as a result, or very near his first if him and Viktor maybe fooled around a bit or if Jayce had other relationships before that. But there is something very innocent in the way Jayce approaches sleeping with Mel that to me feels very much like he's had only a couple partners or fewer at the very least, if he hasn't been outright "saving himself for marriage" levels of hoping Viktor will notice him someday, which is my Jayvik romantic read of that moment he pauses before returning Mel's kiss, he's thinking, "Do I realistically have a shot with Viktor?" and concluding sadly that, no, he doesn't so he might as well stop denying himself a possible relationship over it anymore.

[butchreg]

cg ! sevika headcanons !!

requested by @transsfish and @thekiddointhecorner ! i made it into one post bc both asked for headcanons and i thought it would just be neater to make one longer post instead of two smaller ones. honestly i don't have a ton of thoughts on her but i 100% see her as a caregiver for regressor ! jinx and isha so pullin' a bit from there. i love her a lot though :3 arcane masterlist here , upcoming list here

cw / tws : talk of smoking near the end

literally the most protective mama bear !! she's always holding your hand , making sure you're never too far from her. like vi she's not afraid to fight for you literally and if you ever stray too far she'll have all her typical goons on the case. she'd put you on a kiddo leash if she had to , being a firm mama especially when it comes to your safety. anyone who even looks at you funny gets a fist to the face, not to even mention those who dare say something rude.

she's not very physically affectionate, finding it difficult to let down her tough exterior but she's very verbally affectionate. she's always looking out for you, doing little things like blowing on your food to cool it down, "ah ah ah, careful now."

she's always chuckling at things you do which makes you feel all warm and cozy. she's gotta keep up her image of being the cold scary person most zaunites know her as but she's a real softie with you though she won't admit it to anyone else. anyone who tries to suggest this notion gets threatened with a fist but if you were to mention it she'd shake her head, chuckling. "got me there kid," she'll say ruffling your hair.

you call her mama bear due to her protectiveness. she'll call you her cub sometimes. most times, however, you're "kid".

she's not great at comforting you when you're upset but she does her very best. she'll let you cry or rant or whatever you need, giving you a gruff "i'm right here, kid." she'll pat your shoulder a bit awkwardly. "come on now, let it all out."

she's big on her coffee. you want to be just like mama and have some too ! you're always trying to sneak a sip from her mug. she never lets you... usually. one day she holds it out to you before you even ask. eagerly you take a big gulp only to spit it out immediately. "BLEGH!" she chuckles. "told ya you wouldn't like it, kid. how about some hot cocoa instead?" after that you don't ask for her coffee anymore. you always make a big stink when she's brewing it around you. how could it smell so good and taste so bad ?

mama sevika who carefully learns how to braid so she can do her cub's hair if you're a girl or even just a regressor with longer hair. with her prosthetic arm and bigger hands it takes a while for her to get the hang of it but she's super determined. she's so proud when she's done.

somedays she brings you into work, setting you up with some trinkets and little bits and bobs to play with on the floor next to her. if you get bored she'll explain her work to you or let you sit on her lap while she works. walking home together she holds your hand. "we had a good day today, huh kid?"

she's always making sure you drink enough water, getting you a clear bottle so she can see how much you've had. if you drink it all she's giving you a warm smile and a high five. she's quick to offer you praise. "nice job, cub." if you don't drink enough she's never angry but she gets worried about your health. "c'mon kid why don't you have a few more sips, we don't want you fainting now."

she's big on juice too. at mealtime she'll pour you a nice cool glass of apple juice. every other part of the day she'll push you to drink water but mealtime is juice time ! she's partial to apple herself but she'll buy whatever flavor you want though she may tease you good-naturedly if you're the type of kiddo who prefers orange juice over apple.

sevika who's typically a big smoker doing her best to cut back for you. she likes walking when it's cold enough for her to see her breath, she can almost pretend that it's smoke from a cigar. she tries chewing toothpicks but often gets cranky or moody when the cravings are worse.

sevika doesn't have tons of rules for you but she's very firm in the ones she does have, reminding you if you fuss that she's only trying to keep you safe. she doesn't really put up with fussing over her rules, she's very no nonsense. she'd never put a hand on you but she's not shy about giving you time outs or giving stern talking tos.

mama sevika who always carefully cuts up your food into tiny bites. she has you feed yourself unless you're extra tiny but she makes sure it's nice and easy for you to eat and that you won't choke. you do protest though when you find your spaghetti cut up because that means you can't swirl it on your fork.

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

"Gingerbread Houses" -HCs

Finals did not, in fact, kill me. Anyways, depending on how things go this may be my last real post of this year, so happy holidays and happy New Years if I don't see y'all til January ^^ --------------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle

He's never made a gingerbread house before OTL and his perfectionism will be his biggest pitfall. At least he's using Trey's cookies and icing so that it's not a matter of the quality of materials, but it's still something he's going to spend HOURS on, making sure every line is perfect and sharp. He's seen the sets before in stores, so he will pull up a reference photo on his phone to try and match the box as closely as possible. By the time he's finished, he's a mess. There is icing everywhere. He is ready to pass out. His hands hurt from piping. And he realizes too late he could have decorated the inside just for fun. He still enjoyed it, but he's going to aim for an easier design in coming years. He also only takes a few pieces of candy and a gingerbread man, before letting the first years eat it. (He got a picture before it was devoured though).

Trey

Oh he's so tired of baking. Are you kidding me. This time of year COULD be fun but he has finals on top of being resident big brother AND BAKER to a dorm just to go home and be Big Brother with his siblings. He's so tired. He will bake everything off for people after they submit what shapes they want/need for their creations and then while everyone is making their gingerbread creations he's going to his room and taking a fucking nap. Good for him. He'll munch on left overs if he feels like it, but he knows there's going to be mom and dad's baking at home so he'll just wait. Once he does go home though, it's a competition, half the family against the other half to make the largest, most impressive gingerbread creation. They may involve the community to vote on which one is better, and then they just let the elementary school kids in the area eat them both.

Cater

He buys one of the boxed ones just to put it together for the sake of social media. Makes it all cute and near perfect, it takes significantly less effort for him to do so than Riddle, mostly because he has some artistic background. He knows between that and Trey's baking, nobody is really going to want to eat it so he brings it to PMC for Lilia lmao. He already knows he's going to do the same thing again when he goes home, so his mom has something to post on social media.

Deuce

He's also never made a gingerbread house! His mom didn't have the means to buy all those ingredients or to buy a set she knew he wouldn't eat, so they always made stuff out of rice krispy treats. They're easier to mold into the shape you want anyways, especially when they're warm, so it prevented tantrums when he was younger too. He still does it, not just for traditions sake but because gingerbread just...isn't his favourite flavour.

Ace

Growing up, his mom was the only one really capable of cooking or baking, so when she passed (HC), his brother would just take him out to the dollarstore to buy a SHIT TON of different wafers and candies. They would make a candy wonderland of sorts before gorging themselves on their creations. Ace doesn't mind gingerbread all that much, but he likes how stable the wafers are in comparison when it comes to attaching them with icing. Sometimes he'll build a foundation with wafers and then attach the gingerbread to the wafers so it has something stable to lean against. It's really just an excuse to eat more candy. He also decorates the inside of his builds, usually using gummy bears as people. When he was a kid he used to bite off their heads and then scatter them around the build 💀

The rest are under the cut!!

Savannaclaw Leona

Could not give a flying rat's ass about gingerbread creations. The closest he gets is Cheka spamming his texts with pictures of his creation. Leona ends up paying Ruggie to make one so that he can send one pic back and the rugrat will stop bothering him 💀

Ruggie

They never really made anything like sculptures. Latino Ruggie is real in my heart, so Christmas time is when they would have saved up as much as they could to have a massive feast with the community. That being said, he can't exactly build with them but empanadas, you know the plantain ones with custard filling and a sugar coated outside??? Those ones? FUCK ton of those. Sometimes though, when Sam has leftovers in January of the kits, he'll take the kits back to the kiddos to enjoy.

Jack

Oh his family loooooves making gingerbread houses, the only rule is, no rectangles are allowed >:) (squares are technically a form of rectangle too) so every year his mom heads up the competition. Jack tries to help his younger siblings but he tends to break things by accident and they get mad at him lmao. He never makes a house himself, he just grazes on the candy, and eats his siblings houses after they've picked them clean of candy, leaving him with plenty of cookies to eat. His siblings also use a lot of coloured icing to decorate the "lawns" outside of their houses. (His mom always includes "ducks" on hers)

Octavinelle

Azul

Having been from under the sea, he hasn't made them before either, nor does he really want to. To me, he does not like the texture of icing. I think that would be gross to him. And why would he want to eat all that candy? He would rather go home and eat a dessert Nonna's whipped up, or even attempt to make cannoli's on his own. He may host a competition at the mostro lounge with a bring your own supplies event and whoever wins a competition gets free meal vouchers for a week.

Jade + Floyd

They also have not made gingerbread anything before, but wHEN they do. Jade meticulously puts his together, every detail, every drop of icing, everything is planned. He has a sketch he did in a planner next to him and he's GOING to replicate it. He's grumpy at Floyd because he's eating gingerbread over his shoulder and it's crumbling and falling onto his work space and into his shirt but if he acknowledges it he knows it's going to get worse. Floyd does not have the patience to put his together. He essentially makes it one giant cookie/poptart thing and layers candy on top. He does ask if he's allowed to break Jade's when he's done (they will brawl after when Jade says no and Azul has to rescue Jade's creation for the sake of keeping what little semblance of peace he has.)

Scarabia

Kalim

The concept is new to him but once he's introduced to it - he loves it. And not a surface is safe from flying icing. He wants icing in every single colour and all the candies from all over the world. He'll try dipping gingerbread in eggnog. These traditions aren't widely celebrated back home, so he's going to make the most of it while he's with friends! He ends up eating so much candy he throws up rainbows. Sorry.

Jamil

He has no interest. You thought Leona was disinterested? No, Jamil is. He'd rather be doing nearly anything else.

Pomefiore

Vil

When he was a kid, it was tradition for him and his dad to decorate lebkuchen together. He looks forward to it more than he'd care to admit, because it's the one constant date he knows both he and his dad work to ensure they have free. Neither of them are very GOOD at decorating, but it's more of an excuse to catch up with each other. The nostalgia also just generally helps Vil show a little more holiday spirit and loosen up a little bit.

Rook

:) He and his sister never really got those kinds of things, but they loved making paper snowflakes together.

Epel

He never had the patience for gingerbread houses when he was a kid, so his meemaw would only make gingerbread men for him while his parents built a house. He would squeeze icing bags so hard they popped, and layer on the subsequent icing in a thick, uneven swab to the point when he went to go eat it it made him sick. He loved it though. Nowadays he tries a lot harder to make them pretty just because he thinks it's a fun activity, like apple carving, where every little detail can make a huge difference on the overall composition. Meemaw's baking is peak, and not even Trey can beat it.

Ignihyde

Idia + Ortho

When they were kids, they loved the pomegranate smashing tradition their dad used to do. Their dad would also make kourabiedes - while not exactly ideal for building with, they were delicious. Instead of building things out of food, they would build a "karavaki" (wooden boat) out of scrap metal as a family instead and decorate it instead of a tree. It's been a long time since Mama and Papa Shroud have managed to convince Idia to celebrate...anything with them, but this year they started a new tradition with Ortho, with high hopes for years to come. This year, they designed and built a cat cafe gingerbread house, just for the fun of it, but there were still plenty of kourabiedes to go around. (Mama Shroud is NOT allowed in the kitchen but she would make little reindeer button cookies if she could. However, that is one field of chemistry she just can't seem to handle OTL)

Diasomnia

...uh

Diasomily

Because of Lilia's many travels, he picked up on different traditions and cultures over the years. As a result, every year (that they've all been together), they celebrate a different tradition from around the world. Yes they've made gingerbread houses before. Malleus has gargoyles on his. Lilia's is completely inedible. Silver has icing on half his face bc he passed out. Sebek essentially made a giant cookie-face of Malleus and got pissy when he ran out of black licorice to make his horns. They're so sillayyyy

------------- LMAO I lost the plot about half way through but we bring it back

anyways

@nemisisnemi @fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain @distant-velleity @elenauaurs @lumdays @starry-night-rose @theleechyskrunkly

lmk if you want to be added/removed

happy holidays and please take a fat nap on my behalf at some point lmao

[mariasont]

hi love 🫶🏻 could you write spencer x reader inspired by taylor's "renegade"? there is one fic like that but spencer is as the one taylor sings about there and i was thinking you could maybe do the opposite where reader is the one who this song is about? idk if my explanation makes sense 😭 anyway, have a nice day!!

Messy - S.R

a/n: okay i wasn't sure if this is exactly what you wanted but i hope i did it justice and im so thankful you sent me this request <3 im so sorry it took soooo long for me to get to it, ilysm i hope you're having the best day

also this one is so near and dear to my heart like i choked myself up writing this hahahah so i hope you all enjoy

masterlist

pairings: spencer reid x reader

warnings: depression, unhealthy coping methods, hopeful ending <3

wc: 1.5k

The clock on the wall ticked quietly, a soft sound that somehow seemed louder in the silence of the apartment. The hour hand had long since crept past midnight, but you stayed where you were--curled up on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, a forgotten book spread open in your lap. This is where you had been for an amount of time that you were embarrassed to admit.

The words on the page blurred together, your eyes tracing the same sentence for the fifth time. You weren't really reading. Not anymore.

The faint sound of Spencer's footsteps broke the quiet as he appeared out of the darkened hallway. You didn't need to look up to know he was watching you, a concerned crease in his brow and sleep tousling his hair. You could feel his gaze--soft, searching and damningly knowing.

"You're still awake." It wasn't a question.

You shifted, turning the page like you were engrossed in the story, even though you hadn't absorbed a word. When you glanced up at him, you shot him a smile--a careful, practiced one that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"Couldn't sleep."

Spencer didn't say anything right away, but you could hear him moving closer, the weight of his steps seeming hesitant--like he wasn't sure whether you wanted company or space.

You weren't sure either.

The thought of him sitting next to you wrapped around your lungs like a too-tight band, the way it always did when someone got too close. And yet, the thought of him staying away constricted something deeper, something you weren't sure you could name.

Finally, the corner of the couch dipped as he sat beside you, close enough for the invisible wall you had built to feel less solid. It felt like something similar to sunlight filtering through a curtain's tear.

"What's on your mind?"

You blinked, fingers picking at the worn edges of the book's pages as if they might pull apart and reveal something you weren't able to put into words.

"Nothing." You said it too quickly. Brittle. Then, because you could feel his eyes on you--seeing through you--you added, "It's silly, really. Just overthinking.

You tried to make it sound dismissive, punctuating it with a small laugh that you were sure came out quiet and hollow. "You don't need to worry about me, Spence. I'm fine."

"Fine," he repeated softly, like the word tasted wrong on his tongue.

His voice was so gentle, but you could feel every last bit of unspoken concern wrapped inside it, the way it always was when you said you were fine. You hated that--hated that he could see through the cracks you worked so hard to hide. You wanted to tell him it was better this way, safer for both of you. You didn't want to scare him or worse drag him into the parts of yourself that felt sharp and broken.

You could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, cataloging your body language, the way your smile faltered, the way you fidgeted with the book like you needed to keep your hands busy to avoid cracking open.

Spencer tilted his head, continuing to study you, but he didn't call you out on the lie. He never did--not directly. Instead, he adjusted his posture, sinking further into the couch like he intended to stay.

"What are you reading?" He nodded towards the book in your lap.

You glanced at the cover and felt the heat creep up your neck. 

"Oh, um... something I grabbed off the shelf earlier." You flipped it shut, careful not to let him see how little progress you'd actually made. "It's good. Just... taking my time with it."

It was such a small thing to lie about, but you were clinging to any shred of normalcy. You didn't want him to see this version of you--the one who stared blankly at pages, lost in spirals you couldn't quite explain.

"That's okay, you know," Spencer said quietly. "Taking your time."

You knew he wasn't talking about the book, not really. Before you could deflect, his hand moved gently across the space between you, his fingertips brushing up and down the length of your arm.

The touch was so soft--barely there--but it distracted you. You exhaled, a breath you hadn't realized you were holding, and let your eyes flutter shut for just a moment. It had been so long since you let yourself be in his presence, let yourself lean into him without pulling away.

“Did you know that depression physically changes the brain,” Spencer said suddenly, his voice low and conversational, like he was talking about a science fact and not you. “It affects the hippocampus, the amygdala—the areas responsible for regulating memory, emotion, and stress.”

You swallowed, opening your eyes again, fingers still fussing with the book. “Spence…”

He continued, his tone gentle, as though he were easing you into the truth. "The hippocampus actually shrinks during prolonged depression. That's the part of the brain responsible for processing memories, for distinguishing between what's important and what's not. That's why it feels so hard to concentrate. Why sometimes everything feels... too much, even the little things."

You stilled under his touch, gaze focused on the closed book. The words he was saying were clinical, sure, but the way he was saying it made your heart clench.

"And the amygdala?" he continued. "It's the emotional center of the brain. In people with depression, it becomes overactive, and the body starts reacting to stress like it's always in fight-or-flight mode. Even when there's no threat. Even when you're safe."

Spencer paused, letting the words sink in, his fingers tracing slow, soothing lines down your arm. You could feel him watching you, but you couldn't look at him yet. You weren't sure you wanted him to see the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. 

“I’m not trying to analyze you,” he added quickly. “I know it probably sounds like that. But I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that it's not all in your head."

He hesitated, then nudged you gently, his hand squeezing your arm as if to reinforce his words. "This isn't some character flaw or something you've invented. Your brain--your body--feels this, physically. It's real."

You blinked, and the first tear fell. His words cracked something inside you--not because they hurt, but because you hadn't realized how badly you needed to hear them.

"It's like..." Spencer searched for the right words, brow furrowing. "It's like being stuck in a room with a broken thermostat. You're freezing, and everyone else is telling you it's warm because they can't feel what you feel. But just because they can't see it doesn't mean it isn't happening. You're not imagining the cold."

"You're not a problem that needs solving," he murmured. "You're not too much. You're enough, exactly as you are."

Something snapped in your chest--sharp, small, and unexpected.

"I'm not trying to save you," Spencer continued, like he could sense the thought forming on your tongue. "I just... I want you to let me stand beside you. Even if it's messy. Even if it's hard."

You sniffled, swiping quickly at the tear trailing down your cheek, and glanced up at him with a small, wobbly smile. 

"Even if it's messy?" Your voice trembled slightly, but the hint of a laugh broke through--soft and fragile, like glass. "You hate messes."

Spencer's lips quirked into a smile, and for a moment, the tension in the room shifted. The air felt a little lighter.

"That's true," he admitted. "But I'll make an exception. For you."

You let out a watery laugh, the sound catching somewhere in your throat, and it startled you--how good it felt to laugh, even through tears. Spencer smiled wider, like seeing that microscopic spark of light in you was enough.

He shifted closer than, his hand sliding from your arm to cradle your cheek, his touch soft and careful, as though he were afraid you might pull away. "Even if it's messy."

And then he kissed you--soft and slow, his lips brushing yours with infinite gentleness, as though he were trying to tell you everything he couldn't express aloud. For a heartbeat, you tensed. The instinct to pull back, to close yourself off, flared up like it always did. But Spencer didn't push; he simply stayed, giving you a choice.

So you let yourself lean into him.

The tension melted from your shoulders as you kissed him back, the faint taste of salt lingering between you where tears still clung to your lips. His hand stayed against your cheek. When he finally pulled back, his forehead resting against yours, you finally let out a shaky breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

You glanced at the book still resting on your lap. The Bell Jar. Your hand hovered over the book's spine, the instinct to cling to it, but you let your hand fall away.

"Yeah," you said softly. 

The book stayed on the couch, closed, forgotten as you rose from the couch and let him guide you toward the bedroom.

And maybe, just maybe, the glass was beginning to crack.

taglist: @readergf @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @r-3dlips @m-indkiller @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @reiderrambles @averyhotchner @hbwrelic @sky2nd @messylxve @alexxavicry @doigettokeepyou @pleasantwitchgarden @kodzukenmaaa @hiireadstuff @dilflover-3 @spenciesslut @phoenix-le-danseur-de-pole @c-losur3 @theylovemelody @alahnizamolo @oliver-1270 @ssahotchbabe @savagemickey03 @justanotherbimboslxt @imoonkiss @spiderladyleah @estragos @khxna @spencerssoup @de-duchess @raysmayhem-72

join my taglist here!

[cjlouwho]

Twelve Christmases

*no special chapter tags*

read below or on ao3

Day 9: 2020

When Tommy walked into his house he immediately knew something was wrong.

Mostly due to the large quantity of boxes near the front door. Last time he checked, he wasn't moving.

He dropped his duffel and continued into the living room, where the sound of Africa by Toto echoed through the house.

“Whatcha doing, Joe?” Tommy asked, causing the man closing up a box on the floor to jump.

He stared at Tommy, wide eyed. “Alexa, turn off!” The music shut off quickly, leaving the two of them in uncomfortable silence. “I- I didn't think you'd be home for another hour.”

“It was weirdly quiet today so they let me leave a little early.” Tommy crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you doing, Joe?”

“Tommy, I... It's not you, okay, it's-”

Tommy snorted, shaking his head. “You were, what, gonna leave without even telling me? Have me come home to an empty house and you're just gone?”

Joe sighed, stepping closer to Tommy. As he did, Tommy took a step back. “Tommy, it's- we rushed into this. We both know that. It was fun, for a while, but it's... I don't know, it's not the same.”

“I didn't even know anything was wrong, Joey!” Tommy exclaimed. He reached out and flipped the top of an open box. “You weren't gonna at least try to explain yourself first?”

“I really didn't expect you to be surprised!” Joe replied, his voice rising now as well. “We barely see each other, Tommy! We both have weird schedules, rarely eat a meal together, and half the time I wake up you're asleep in the guest bedroom!”

“Because I don't want to wake you when I get home late! I was trying to let you sleep.”

“I'd rather sleep with my partner!”

Joe breathed in slowly, then held his hands up in surrender. “Tommy, I- you only asked me to move in because of covid-”

“No, I asked you to move in because I wanted to be with you and I was pretty sure you felt the same way.”

“I do, Tommy.”

Tommy scoffed, turning away and heading for the kitchen. Joe followed behind him.

“Hey, I do- did feel the same! But we'd only known each other for a few months, Tommy, and then covid happened and I agreed to move in because I wanted to get to see you but I didn't think it through. We didn't think it all through!”

Tommy opened the fridge, reaching in for a beer. He popped the lid and took a sip, then set it on the counter. He stayed quiet, staring down at the glass bottle.

“Aren't you gonna say anything?” Joe asked.

Tommy shrugged. “Not really sure what you want me to say, Joe, you didn't even want me to know you were leaving.”

Joe brought a hand to the back of his neck, trying to massage away the tension. “Listen, I- I want you to be happy, Tommy. I do care about you and I lo- I like you, but this has not been a relationship for a while. I was lying in bed the other night, alone, and I realized I don't know anything about you. You don't talk about your family, I've never met a single one of your friends or co-workers, I don't know anything about how you grew up or what you did before you became a firefighter.”

“I told you, I was a-”

“I know,” Joe interrupted. “A pilot in the army. That's all I ever got.” Joe moved around the counter to get closer to Tommy. Hesitantly, he reached out and put his hand over Tommy's forearm. “Tommy, you are a wonderful person,” his grip tightened when Tommy rolled his eyes and went to walk away. “No, I'm serious. You're a good listener, you're attentive, thoughtful, funny, and a bitch in the best way, but it's not. It's not what I need. And when you let yourself think about it, I'm not what you need either.”

With his free hand, Tommy fidgeted with his beer bottle. “Great day to choose to move out,” he grumbled.

“You don't even celebrate Christmas, Tommy,” Joe replied, his voice staying calm but firm. “Honestly didn't think you'd care about what particular day it was.”

Joe wasn't totally wrong, Tommy did make his hatred of Christmas well known. But what he didn't know was Tommy asked if he could leave a little early. He planned on making them a nice dinner, just like the one his mom used to make. He wanted to try and have a good Christmas for the first time in a long time. He'd even bought Joe a gift. Tucked into his pocket were reservations to a cabin in northern California. He planned on flying them there himself. They'd be going for Valentine's.

Tommy felt hot, and overwhelmed, and like the house was too small and too big all at once. His eyes were starting to get a little blurry and he desperately needed to get out of there.

“I'm gonna go for a walk,” he said, clearing his throat. He freed himself from Joe's grasp and wiped at his eyes, hurrying toward the door with his head down. “I'll be a couple hours, probably. I'll, um, I'll see ya, Joey.”

He managed to get out and shut the door behind him, part of him hoping that Joe would follow. Chase after him. Yell for him to come back, for them to talk, to fight, to figure this out.

But he didn't.

And Tommy walked.

He walked and walked and walked until the sun had set and all the streetlights came on.

Then he went back to a quiet house. A spare key on the kitchen counter as his only reminder that, for eight months, he wasn't here alone.

[obey-me-hoe]

Yes!!! I feel like most of the brothers don't want to be experiencing their sins but they don't have a choice. I'm sure at one point or another they've each had thoughts of "I don't want to feel like this or I don't want to do this" but it's so hard/near impossible to control so they just give in. Honestly it's gotta be exhausting.

I've always hated how badly they treat Mammon for something he can't control!!! It's no different from any of the other brothers acting on their sins but for some reason they don't see it like that. I've seen people say that it's because his actions affect/hurt the other brothers but they fail to see that that's also the case with several of the brothers. Levi reflexively summoning Lotan because he's jealous destroys their home and resources and has the potential to physically hurt everyone. Beel eating all the food in the house so there is none left for the others and also driving up their grocery bill so high that it could lead to financial ruin (not to mention he's destroyed whole walls and shit because someone ate his food). Satan has destroyed various parts of HOL in a fit of rage and has the potential to seriously injure anyone near him while he's like that. They seem to forgive all these things but when Mammon steals something they suddenly act like he's the worst demon in the world. Obviously what he's doing isn't good but it should be treated the same as when one of the others act on their sin.

As for the "Mammon feels like if he doesn't have everything, he has nothing" part, that shit hit me deep but I totally agree. His greed makes him want more but I feel like he'll never be able to get enough so he'll always feel like he has nothing and the cycle will keep repeating itself.

I also feel like he's trying to fill this hole he has inside him by getting as much material things as he can. It's like something is missing within him but he doesn't know what so he uses material possessions to distract him from it. Sure it helps fill the void for a bit but it never makes that terrible empty feeling go away so he keeps on buying and stealing and selling in hopes that something will eventually fill that hole. I feel like he puts on his "Great Mammon" act as a way to protect himself and hide the fact that he's hurting inside.

You mentioned Mammon and my brain just locked in ready to ramble on and on about him. I have a lot of feelings about Mammon if you couldn't tell 😂

If you think about it, the twins are the ones who suffer the most with their sins. The other brothers know how to control their sins well, especially Satan, he can keep his wrath at bay, or calm himself: because they can control their emotions, since their sins are mostly related/correlated to one or to a feeling, not to a physical need, like the twins. Beel is hungry all the time, and Belphie is tired most of it. It’s not like Beel can supress his hunger, he can try, but it wouldn’t work. He will eventually have to eat; same thing happens with Belphie, he can’t help but feel sleepy, and the only solution to it is to sleep. For example, Mammon isn’t greedy all the time, his sin is “activated” when something triggers it - opportunity makes the thief - but we cannot say the same for the twins. Thoughts? :c

[wings-of-ink]

Hello, my friends!

Just wanted to pop in with some info and updates.

*The "Cursed Birthday" won the 2k follower celebration poll. Sorry dads! I don't have an ETA for that just yet. I may write it here and there until the end of the year as the motivation strikes. I think the easiest way to tell the tale would be from Oswin's POV or even a shifting POV between him and Da (Kip). I'll decide for sure once I begin to write it. Also playing with the idea of doing this in Twine to make it playable. That way you could put your MC's specifics in for maximum emotional damage.

*I will still write things about the dads though, so all my Papa and Da fans out there won't be left in the dark forever.

*I will be "patching" Chapter 5 in the near future. I redid Zahn's scene (again) which gave me such a headache on release day. I formatted the beginnings in a much more streamlined way and fixed some bugs. When I have more time to sit and go through error reports, and make more corrections to typos, grammar, and code - then I will put the patch through.

*All chapters will be getting a scrub for issues in the text in the coming months. I will do my best to find them, but self-editing is very difficult (there's good reason that professional editors exist). In the future, I may need to ask for testers/editors.

*ASKS will be changing a bit. I do not know the full extent of how because it's a trial by fire. The rules will be updated as I come across things. But, here's why:

Spoiler prevention - as much as it is possible, I want to limit spoiling content for both new and existing readers. Not just for the plot points that are developing, but also for our mystery suitor who will have a lot of unraveling in the coming chapters. I will probably make a specific tag for answers that may contain spoilers, but some of the issue is the information in the Ask itself, which I can't hide. I may opt to compile these in a big post like once a month or so. This way, if anyone does not want to see anything spoilery, it's easier to avoid.

Time management - reaction asks specifically will remain limited and they will honestly have to be a lower priority depending on the condition of my inbox. I am very sorry for this, but these can take an inordinate amount of time. I write this IF in my downtime from work and personal life, and I also use those moments to manage Tumblr. I need to balance those so I can work toward releasing more of the IF.

Patreon - I still plan to give Patreon a go probably starting January. This will help me fund things for the game, such as art, and help me justify spending even more of my time writing chapters and extras. But like everything else, I will need to allot time to work on these things.

Personal Development - I'm taking a coding class! I can work on it at my leisure and it won't take a ton of time during the week, but it will take me out of my Tumblr time a little bit I think. Fingies crossed, I will learn a lot that will help me code a better game for you!

*Inbox - I have several Asks awaiting responses about chapter 5. As noted above, I am holding these due to spoilers to give readers a chance to catch up. (I may opt to compile these in one large post.)

Anyway, that's all for now (it's at least all I currently remember, lol).

Take care, all!

~Lunan ^_^

[softspokendove]

"Good Job Sweetheart"

pairings: bf!matt sturniolo x nerdy!reader

summary: matt decides to make his girlfriend feel good after she shows him she got an A+ on a test.

warnings: smut, blowjob f!receiving, nicknames (sweetheart, baby), fingering, praise kink, teasing, begging, reader is a bit shy and easy flustered, a little bit of overstimulation towards the end.

As you run through your boyfriend's house, completely oblivious to his two brothers watching tv in the living room, you speed past them and down the hallway towards your shared bedroom door. Your boyfriend's head shoots up at you excitedly pushing open the door and you run over jumping on top of him.

"I did it Matt! I aced the exam!" Matt furrows his eyebrows; his brain still hasn't caught up to speed. Instead, you push the exam paper in his hands, helping him figure it out. As his eyes scan over the page and the big letter A at the top of it a smile spreads on his face.

"Good job sweetheart, I knew you could do it." He sets down the paper on his side table and cups your face with both of his hands. He leans in giving you a passionate kiss in hopes of showing his approval. As he pulls back, he gives your now flushed face a once over, "So all that studying really paid off huh?"

You smile and nod your head as a response. You've been studying for endless nights trying to prepare for this exam, which your mind kept constantly telling you were gonna fail. Your boyfriend who knows how important school is to you, even tried to help you prepare. This consisted of you and Matt in the living room until 3 am reading post it cards until you soon fell asleep on his lap, completely exhausted.

You appreciated this about Matt. He knew how important this is to you, so he took time out of his day to help. He's never once complained about how much time you spend studying, if anything he just asks if you can do it in your shared bedroom so he can be near you.

"I'm so proud of you baby." Matt's words cause you to practically melt in his grasp. Matt knows all about how much you love receiving praise towards your accomplishments, especially from him. He finds it adorable how easily flustered and red you can get from it.

"Thank you." You smile once more at him before trying to get up off his lap, instead Matt's hands move to your hips and force you back down.

"How about I give you a reward for all your hard work?" He says it as a question.

"Like what?" Your obliviousness makes Matt smirk, and he leans towards you once again this time leaving small kisses along your neck. You gasp at the newfound sensation and subconsciously lean your head to the side to give him better access. Matt applies more pressure on his kisses, his hands roaming the sides of your body.

"You did so good on your test baby, you deserve to feel just as good." As his lips continue to attack your neck, your mind starts to become consumed by Matt and what he's doing. His hand wonders from your side down to your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. You feel a sense of need gather lower and lower, causing you to softly grind on Matt's growing bulge in his pants.

"We can't. It'll be too loud." Your words come out breathless as you keep grinding on Matt, nowhere close to stopping. Matt knows that you're talking about his brothers being close to the other side of the wall, and your record of screaming while Matt has his way with you.

"Then you'll have to be quiet, can you do that for me?" Matt pulls away and looks you dead in eye, you're hesitant for a few seconds and then nod your head. A huge part of you knows that you can't keep quiet with Matt, it's impossible. But he already feels so good you don't want to end here. "That's my girl." Matt gives you one more appreciative kiss before setting you flat against the bed. He gets up to walk over to the door, closing and locking it.

As he returns, he climbs over you nudging your legs open with his knee to give him room. His lips connect with yours again, the kiss filled with love and passion. Matt's knee comes up and pushes against your clit, making you moan into his mouth. He swallows up your noises and slips his tongue into you. His tongue dancing with yours, both of your saliva's mixing up and creating a mess. His hand tilts your head to the side allowing him a better angle.

When he finally pulls away, you're both gasping for air. "Arms up." You lift up your arms and feel the warmth of your shirt leave your body as Matt throws the clothing across the room. He kisses a trail from your neck down to your boobs, leaving small bites here and there. His one hand lifts up your lower body as his other hand slides below you and unclasps your bra, this also getting thrown.

Matt takes one of your nipples into his mouth and sucks, swirling his tongue around the nub. He rubs your other boob in an effort to give them the same attention. Once he feels satisfied with one nipple he moves on to the other one, doing the same with his mouth. Your hand finds its way into his hair and gives a small tug which brings Matt to moan against you.

He lets go of your nipple with a pop and starts kissing your body again, this time getting lower and lower. You squirm in anticipation and whine, desperately needing Matt to touch you there. "Easy baby, this is all about you. I promise to make you feel good."

His words lead to another whine escaping your throat, "Matt please."

"Please what baby?" His tone is teasing. He knows what you want, he just loves hearing you say it.

"You know what." You huff out. This makes Matt chuckle and start to slide your pants slowly down your legs, too slowly for your liking.

"No, I don't think I do. Let me hear you say it." After your pants are completely gone from your body, you spread your legs wider for him, hoping he'd get the hint. Your cheeks red from embarrassment. Instead of understanding, Matt just slides his hands up and down your thighs. Inching so close to where you need him then quickly retreating.

You feel tears start to prick your eyes as the need for him becomes too much. Your whole-body craving Matt. Needing him to touch you anywhere and everywhere. Your pussy leaking out more slick just thinking about him. That proven to be true when Matt notices a dark patch on your panties, his mouth watering at the sight. "Please touch me," You reach out for one of Matt's hands and place it on the wet spot, "here. I need you so bad. Please."

Your words go straight to Matt's cock causing it to throb in his pants. There's just something about listening to you beg for him. Your words are like honey to his ears. "There you go baby; you sound so good." He leans down and places kisses on your clit, the action making your hips rise towards his mouth. His lips getting wet from your need.

He grabs your panties and slides them down your body, dropping them onto the floor. He places a hand on your hip holding you firmly in place. "You gotta be quiet, okay?"

"I promise." The words leave your mouth in a hurry, hoping to get him to work faster. He kisses your clit again, this time without a layer of clothing to get in the way. The new feeling making you grip onto his hair again.

He slides his tongue down your folds and then back up. His saliva and tongue feeling blissful against your pussy. He moans at the taste of you and slips his tongue inside your hole, hoping to taste more. This catches you by surprise and a small moan leaves your throat, you see Matt raise his eyebrows at you, warning you to stay true to your promise.

He swirls his tongue around inside of you, once again moaning at the flavor of you, his noises getting muffled against you. You hear the small noise of Matt's tongue gliding in your juices and the sound of him slurping as much as he can up. He takes his tongue out and slides it back up your pussy before swirling around your clit.

His lips then attach to your clit and suck while his tongue swirls in a circle around it. You bite your bottom lip trying to silent your moans. Matt's hand squeezes your flesh on your thigh and then moves his hand to your pussy. His middle finger circles around your clit, teasing you. You try to raise your hips to get it inside of you, but Matt's hand doesn't let you budge.

After Matt feels he's teased you enough he enters his finger into you at a slow pace. You sigh in relief his fingers start moving back and forth at a good pace. The pleasure you've been searching for finally here. You start to feel a sudden need to hold on to something-anything. One of your hands grips onto Matt's hair while the other holds onto the sheets, knuckles turning white from how hard you're gripping. Matt moans again at feeling a tug on his strands of hair, the noise vibrating against your pussy making it flutter.

This spurs Matt on, him feeling your pussy throb and tighten against him. His finger increases its pace, your juices starting to drip down you and onto the sheets. The overwhelming pleasure raking up your body and getting stuck in your throat, your moans and whimpers desperately wanting to get out.

It doesn't help when Matt adds his ring finger, filling you up. Your walls clench around his fingers, your body getting closer and closer. You move your hand that was gripping the sheets towards your mouth and try to muffle your moans with your hand.

The core in your lower belly keeps tightening. "Matt, I'm gonna cum." The words sound muffled, but Matt knew what you said. You look down and see Matt's blue eyes staring right back at yours, this being his favorite view. Your clit throbs in Matt's mouth at the sight.

Matt's tongue starts swirling letters, his name. You feel the motion of his tongue form the letters M-A-T-T and then repeating. Your eyes roll back into your head as your legs tighten around Matt's head. "Come on baby, cum on my tongue." Matt's voice sending you over the edge.

You scream into your hand as the bubble finally explodes, your walls throbbing around Matt's fingers. He removes his fingers from inside you and brings them up towards your mouth. You take away your hand and suck around his digits, tasting the proof of your beautiful orgasm. Matt hums in satisfaction as his tongue reenters inside of you tasting your cum for himself.

Your hips jerk in oversensitivity as his tongue continues to wiggle around inside your walls. "Matt too much." You try to move away but his hand pulls you right back. He ignores your comment and shoves his fingers further down your mouth towards your throat, igniting a gag from you.

When he pulls his fingers out, they're covered in your salvia which is then returned inside of you when Matt lifts his head up. "Give me one more sweetheart, wanna make sure you feel as good as you should."

You go to protest, but Matt just dives back down to your pussy, leaving no room for arguing.

a/n: holy. I had all of this written out a week ago but the last couple sentences. It took me so long to finish this for what.

[catbountry]

I feel like I should probably say something about the final TF2 comic finally coming out after seven years, considering I'd been in the fandom since 2009 and had the honor of writing a (non-canon) comic for a community update, a gig I only got because Cantsman wanted help with writing and just picked me as a good enough writer. I think that might be the thing I'm going to be most well-known for (hopefully).

A lot has changed since 2009. The community helped me improve as an artist and as a writer. I made friends through the fandom who are still my friends to this day, and we talk on a near daily basis. The fandom helped me get through some very rough and traumatic periods of my life. I don't really play the game anymore but we got a friend into it and he fell in love and it made me remember what it was like when I dove headfirst into the game, buying just TF2 for like $20 at Best Buy because I didn't shell out the $60 for the Orange Box, which I kinda wish I had.

Seeing that the fandom is still alive, still has many of the people who even if we haven't talked in ages, I still consider my friends because I'd just want to pick up where we left off. There were so many immensely talented people there, incredibly creative and funny and witty, people whose talent inspired me to try to push myself so that I might belong amongst them.

I miss it sometimes. I distanced myself from the fandom in 2014, to my detriment in the long run. But then something happens with the fandom, or the game, or with the voice actors, and it's like the community is still there. We all still love this silly war-based hat simulator, this goddamn meme machine, this fountain of inspiration for just so much gay porn, this beautifully crafted game that has become a weird mutant version of itself over many, many years of updates that have added new things. I don't really play anymore but sometimes I'll just watch my friends play and just remember what it was like to play in shitposty 4chan servers with obnoxious mic spam and the nastiest sprays you've ever seen in your life.

I still love this game, though. I still love the community. I still get comments on fanfic I wrote 15 years ago, gushing about how much they loved it when I can barely even bring myself to reread the old stuff because sometimes when you're an artist, you're just super critical of art you did ages ago. Lord knows I am.

A merry Smissmas to you all. May you get some rare drops and many dominations. Love you. <3

[jakeswifeyyy]

10:40𝑝𝑚

Part 3 of the best friend Jake drabble.

☞︎︎︎Part 1.

☞︎︎︎Part 2.

✯Pairings:Bestfriend!Jake xf.reader.

✯Genre:Fluff,smut,angst

✯W.c:5.0k

✯Warnings:Unprotected sex,use of petnames,mentions of drug use,bathroom sex,cowgirl,nipple play,making out,heavy angst at some point.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

You and Jake continued your shared escapades for weeks after he taught you to suck him off, but you got more and more curious and wanted to learn more so the coming weeks he taught you all there was that you needed to know.

Time skip

It was again a Friday evening after classes both of you in the library as usual before you decided to tell him,It felt so deja vu saying something else about him teaching you in the exact same scenario,"Jakey.." you whispered out half hoping he heard half hoping he didn't, but your heart dropped to your stomach when he hummed still focused on his book,confirming the answer of a physics question he had just attempted,while tapping his foot to whatever he was listening to with one airpod in.Despite his fuckboy,flirty persona Jake was really serious about studies,being top of his class and so were you,"Uhm...." hearing you hesitate he looked up at you raising an eyebrow,"You never hesitate to say anything y/nnie unless.....its something to do with...." He read you like such an open book you feared,shyly nodding at his assumption,"He smirked,placing a pen to mark the page he was on before leaning on his arm to face you,"What is it princess?"taking in a deep breathe before asking,"Since like exam season is near I've been really stressed and I need help relieving it..."he thought for a second before laughing loudly,getting a threatening glare from the librarian and shutting up,"Want me to fuck you princess? You could've just said that,I'd never deny such an opportunity with the prettiest pussy I've ever seen hm?" You hit his bicep playfully before he rubbed it feigning being hurt,and pouting,"Heyy is that what you repay me with for complimenting you." You scowled at him,"Jake,don't say such stuff in public," Glaring at him before you saw him lean in and whisper in your ear,feeling your heart rate fasten,"So you rather I say it in private princess..?" He breathed the words Into your ear before slightly biting your earlobe making you wince,"SIM JAEYUN- "you hit his chest lightly after recovering from your trance before he giggled,seemingly getting the reaction he wanted out of you,"Okay okay mom I'll stop," playfully tolling his eyes before you saw the librarian approach both of you,pissed,"Uh oh," you both said together.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

Yeah that's how you got banned from the library for a month,heading home,you passed by a convenience store together,to get some ramen and some groceries for your apartment,again being Complemented by some strangers about how cute of a couple you are,you smiled back thanking them,not knowing how to correct them but Jake,seemed bothered by it from your view,only half smiling at them,smile not reaching his eyes,you couldn't deny that his reaction kind of hurt you,did he hate the idea of you two looking like a couple,deciding you shouldn't worry about it either,you were just friends who fucked...... right? No feelings were supposed to be involved,but you,had already crossed that line a long time ago...

Arriving at your house you headed to the kitchen ,jake helping you unpack the groceries,playing some songs on the loud speaker while unpacking ,both of you singing in broken tunes but who cares you were having fun,especially with you trying to take your overthinking off your mind,after finishing ,you decided to take a shower, to calm yourself from the stress as you'd told jake ,fearing he would now refuse the idea to fuck you,"Uhm Jakey,we don't need to fuck though,I'll just shower it off-" before you could finish he cut you off ,"Mind if I join,you brought up the idea and I'm kinda already half-hard,"He said while scratching the back of his head,"You perv,"You giggle telling him its ok,heading to the bathroom and turning on the tap to fill the bathtub,while standing in front of the mirror,Jake came in behind you,shutting the door before wrapping his hands around your waist behind you and you leaned your head on his shoulder before he whispered,"There's no one here now,gonna praise this pretty pussy all night,would you like that?" He said while trailing kisses down the side of your neck and you nodded,biting your lip your eyes shut tight,feeling him grinds his bulge against your ass,he moved to shut the tap filling the tub now that it was full,before moving back to you taking off his shirt before turning you around and placing his hands under your thighs hoisting you onto the counter,admiring the sight in front of you,"You make sweats look so hot jakey," he looked down at himself before looking back at you and smirking,"On or off,doesn't really hide anything princess that's why you like it hm?" Before you could answer he attached his lips onto yours ,hands coming to rest at your waist,lightly squeezing it,while your arms came to wrap around his neck you didn't need to answer,he was right anyway,he bit on your bottom lip making you let out a moan as he sucked on it and your teeth clashed but you couldn't care any less letting him have his way,pulling back before catching his breathe,"Take this off princess," tugging at the hem of your sweatshirt ,to which you pulled off in a hurry before he connected your lips again,fingers drawing random patterns on your back before trailing his fingertips upwards and unclasping your bra in one move,before pulling it off of you ,scanning you up and down before letting out a growl and moving in to kiss you roughly this time,hands crawling up your stomach to your chest to grope at your tits,"So...damn...pretty.." he grunted in between the kiss,while you shamelessly moaned into the kiss,"J-Jakey,"he groaned kissing down your neck,"No baby that's not my name," he stopped kissing your neck,"That's not what I wanna hear baby," he said while tugging at your hardened peaks,"Jaeyun?" He nodded before going down to your mounds,kissing around the hardened peaks,before licking it while staring up at you,fingers twisting and tugging at the other while looking up at you,he looked so goddamn hot in that position you had to look away,grazing his teeth against it just how you liked it,"Fuck jaeyunnie I don't wanna cum from this wanna cum on your cock p-please," you panted out tugging hard at his roots,"Wanna cum on my cock baby?" Nodding frantically as he looked away,"Such a dumb baby for my cock aren't you hm?" You nodded quickly,"Yes yes yes please yunnie," he smirked tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear,"Since my baby begged so nicely,spread your legs for me baby," you then didn't do that confusing him as you got of the counter pulling him towards you in the bathtub,"Sit yunnie,please wanna ride your cock you love that right?please,"How could he say no seeing he had you at his mercy like this,he nodded getting into the tub leaning on it as he stared up at you basically eye fucking you as you stripped bare off your sweats and panties ,he was shamelessly eyeing you with his lower lip between his teeth,as you got in the water onto of him ,his hand coming to support you holding your hip as you steadied yourself on his shoulders completely straddling him before slowly grinding.

"Yunnie,p-put it in..."he chuckled squeezing your hip,"No baby you wanted this,do it yourself".Nodding you wrapped your hand around his hard on,striking it lightly before using it to trace a line from your clit to your entrance,moaning at the feeling,before slowly pushing the tip in your entrance,murmuring out a 'fuck' eyes shut biting your lip as jake was mesmerised by your face when in a state of bliss,he helped you lift your hips up before you slowly started sliding down,your hole clenching along the way making it difficult to do so,"J-jake...love your cock so much...ngh"He squeezed your hip as you started to slowly move your hips up and down his cock,"Yeah baby?just like I love this pussy hmm?" You nodded not in a position to talk,Jake had noted that you were not one to talk much when in an extreme state of bliss so he didn't pay much to it ,"K-kiss me yunnie," needing no further permission he crashed his lips onto yours as you increased your pace ,his hands sliding between your bodies to rub your clit in fast circles,bucking his hips up to meet yours,"Baby,keep clenching around me like that and I just might cum," paying no attention to his words you stopped bouncing on him starting to grind on him moving your hips back and forth on his cock,you'd noted that he loved that,"I'm...gonna...ngh cum yunnie,"head thrown back against the bathtub eyes rolling to the back of his head,hands working fast on your clit,"Yeah baby? So close for me? Me too..fuck," he sat up,now peppering kisses allover your chest ,before starting to lick and suck at one of your mounds,teeth occasionally grazing your nipple making you arch your back further into him,hips now stuttering,he knew you were close by the gesture ,"Yunnie yunnnie yunnie cumming ahh....fuck," Following up right after white spurts of his coming being thrown all over your velvety walls as you felt his member soften,you fell on his chest ,thighs burning.

"Do you feel stress free now y/nnie?" Nodding as your eyes were still shut tight ,jake always made you orgasm so hard that you felt so exhausted after.Turning you around ,back against his chest he squeezed some soap in his hand lathering it over the both of you,cleaning you up as you rested before getting you up into a robe and taking you to your room,no matter how much of a fuckboy he was ,He took aftercare seriously,atleast with you he did.

After changing you into a shirt and some sweats he kissed you on the forehead bidding you goodbye as he needed to get to his dorm,so he could study the next day and also wonder why his heart had started beating so fast whenever he was around you despite trying not to show it much,sighing he picked up his stuff locking the door behind him,he never was one for aftercare and kisses on the forehead or crown,those were clear signs of affection and he knew that,but his stubborn self didn't wanna agree,She's my best friend's that's why I treat her different, he kept telling himself this to convince himself.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

The following week was hectic,you guys had your finals for the semester and both being straight A students you couldn't meet up at all as you took completely different classes and exams were very serious for the both of you,you lacked a lot of sleep that week wanting to pass maintaining your position at the top of the class looking forward to Friday evening after your last paper so you could finally rest and ofcourse last paper had to be math but you didn't mind much as you were remarkable at it.

"Finally.." sighing as you set foot in yourapartment,dropping your bag and coat at the door,locking the door as you took off your shoes before your phone started blowing up,looking at the notifications you saw the gc from your friend group which had been so dead for so long was now lively,you all were quite serious about your studies and now was time for the yearly end of semester party and people Got drunk as hell without a care,did drugs ,it was hectic,always hosted by Park Sunghoon the party animal, you and Jake had been bestfriends way before joining that group so you kind of weren't around them much,if he was with the guys you'd be with the girls,to the point they started teasing you both about being in a relationship because of how you were always together but you both just brushed it off.

Heading to your room throwing yourself on the bed ,before peeking at the texts,they were just discussing about the party ,deciding you'd respond later you shut your phone falling asleep ,exhausted from the hectic week.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

Around 11am the next day you woke up to banging on your front door,quickly fixing your clothes patting your hair to go open it,squinting eyes still hazy from sleep,"Guys..?" Sunghoon Jake and Jay barged in with Karina behind them all greeting you before taking in the state of your apartmentxyou panicked at how messy it was,"Oh my God why didn't you tell me you'd be coming," Jay chuckled,"Don't worry y/n we don't judge," laughing after you headed to your room brushing your teeth and washing your face quickly before going back to the living room,finding everyone happily discussing,Karina patting a spot next to her as you headed over,"So what's the occasion?" Sunghoon stared at you shocked,"Did you not read the texts in the gc y/nn?" He deadpanned,chuckling awkwardly at your dumb question,"Ohhh yeahh sorry l" the others burst out laughing at the way you and sunghoon always fought,but Jake didnt even crack a smile"Yes so we're planning about the party it's tonight at 10pm and it's already 12pm now so what's the plan?" Everyone thought for a bit,"Have you ordered the drinks and stuff ?" Sunghoon nodded showing him the message from the delivery company,"Alright music and food,"Who's dj this year?"You asked,"That junior Nishimura?,he's a cool kid," Jake answered you before you nodded,"Then I guess nothing much left, is there a theme hoon?"He shrugged," No not really there'll be a pool so anything anyone wants to wear just no old fashioned fits it's a damn college party I'm talking to you y/n be lively just this once,"playfully rolling his eyes and you scoffed feigning being offended,"Park how dare you old man," you threw a pillow at him and he threw one back.You guys ended up passing the afternoon at your place ordering takeout and just catching up after not being able to meet up for a while once in a while accidentally making eye contact with jake who seemed like his mind was elsewhere as you all talked,but you just awkwardly smiled before dismissing it.Evening came by fast and the guys left you and Karina who had already carried her stuff as she always spent the night after the party at your place or longer after.

As you were looking for a dress with Karina's help ,Karina suddenly spoke up,"So Spill the tea y/n" you were confused to say the least," What do you mean-"she stood up before pulling you to sit with her on your bed,"Girl I could see how jake was basically eye fucking you the whole time,"Looking away you tried to dismiss her,"What do you mean I don't unders-" she shut you up,placing her finger on your lip,"I may not know jake as well as you but he's never done this before at any of our hangouts ,something is definitely up,cause he wasn't even trying to hide it,especially when you were all laughing with hoon he looked pissed," Realising she already figured out you decided to tell her everything,from the beginning as her jaw just kept falling more and more open before you closed her mouth pushing it up,giggling,when you were done she squeezed,"Oh MY GOD OUR SHIP IS SETTING SAIL," you felt your heart ache a bit,"Rina I really like him but im not sure if he feels the same towards me too,maybe he just likes fucking around you know.."she sympathised with you before pulling you into a hug,"Oh baby,how about we try and rile him up tonight hm?" She pulled you back to see if you were listening to her as you faced up nodding along,sniffling a bit before she smiled at you,pulling you Into your closet looking for the perfect fit for you and she did your hair and makeup perfect ,you could barely recognise yourself. Glasses finally off,God you looked hot,"Oh girl if I was bi I'd definitely go for you,thats how hot you are babe" she winked wrapping her arms around you from behind as you admired yourself and her work in the mirror,"Thank you so much Rina," she just poked your nose,she was already dressed so you guys quickly left.

Safe to say the party was a typical college party,drunks everywhere ,people sitting outside smoking blunts as they laughed holding cups of alcohol as the both of you made your way inside,meeting Jay and Sunghoon in the kitchen as Karina pecked your cheek whispering she'd be at the dance floor but as he waved at you and walked off she blew you a flying kiss mouthing good luck.A girl then came in after throwing herself all over Sunghoon and they left to God know where to do God knows what .You caught up with Jay,asking about his long distance girlfriend and more as you just sipped on your drinks as you kept talking ,his Girlfriend ,used to be part of your group but had to move to Japan with her parents on their request but they were still in contact and were in a happy relationship,then it hit you,you hadn't seen jake yet."Hey Jay by the way Where's Jake?" He said he wasn't sure so you left him saying you'd go look for him and be back,as you walked into the crowd a scene on the other side of the room caught you attention not seeing very clearly in the red lighting and dancing shadows but squinting you saw it,it was Jake,your best friend you were so deeply in love with ,with a girl on his lap ,giggling together like two idiots,you didn't want to think much of it ,maybe she just sat there ,he was irresistible you couldn't blame her,but your last straw was when he took her hand leading her to the less occupied balcony,instinct made you end up following them,tailing back a bit behind so as to not get seen,but you immediately regretted your actions as you reached the balcony peeking outside, you saw jake had her pinned against the wall they were making out ,he was groping her everywhere as she pulled on his hair ,strings of moans and groans emitting from the both of them as they practically ate each others faces off,you couldn't hold back the tears ,the cup in your hand dropping,drink pouring everywhere and that caught their attention as Jake turned around he met with your eyes ,dull of pain and he felt instant regret trying to call after you as you ignored his shouting ,quickly walking out of the party,it wasn't far from your apartment ,so you took of your heels speed walking to your apartment in that moment all you wanted to do was cry,you should've known you were just a fling to him nothing more ,you HATED yourself for getting this attached it's not like hooking up meant anything .....right ? Reaching your apartment Jake was chasing behind you before he ran caching up to you,holding your hand,"Y/n,y/n listen to me please-"you felt yourself getting more and more angry at his words,"Jake leave me the fuck alone now,"he was persistent and you knew that ,he was never one of give up easily,"Look y/n..just one minute-"tears were starting to form in his eyes,voice cracking with every word,despite that you weren't in the mental state to care,scoffing at how he was refusing to comply before pushing him roughly which had him stumbling backwards,"listen to me clearly Jake,stay the fuck away from me if you know what's good for you," You spat out,you weren't gonna break down no,not infront of him,choking back a cry,"Y/n just let me explain-"you'd had enough,"Explain what Jake we aren't a couple or anything do eat you want and go fuck that girl,clearly that's all you do,fuck around with girls like toys right?" He was at a loss for words ,taking that as your cue you walked quickly to your apartment complex heading into the lift to your floor,holding back from breaking down right there,as if you weren't getting enough stares due to your current state.Arriving at your door you locked it behind you,throwing your heels down before sliding down against it ,gripping your hair before you finally broke down,Tears uncontrollably falling and you couldn't help it and just sat there silently crying,not even realising when your eyes shut and you blacked right there on the floor.

As for Jake he ran back to the party looking fo Sunghoon and Jay and Karina too,gathering them in a bed room ,Karina and Sunghoon clearly looking like they'd gotten interrupted from something,"Guys I fucked up fuck fuck fuck," he was pacing back and forth as they all sat on the bed looking at him before Karina asked,"Where is y/n guys..." Jake fell to his knees completely breaking down at the mention of your name,gripping his hair hard nearly pulling it off his head,"Jake what happened,"Karina asked now worried at his state ,it was when his shoulders started shaking that they realised he was crying,Jake had never cried infront of them before,not even you,"I messed up I ruined our friendship I hooked up with someone else knowing I had feelings for her and I didn't know she felt the same ,I thought it was just sex we had to her,"He was speaking mid sobs and Sunghoon and Jay were shocked to say the least Karina already knew,"Where is she now Jake," Karina asked and he said you ran home,Leaving the guys to take care of him wishing them good luck she ran to your place,banging on the door,where you'd passed out on the cold floor,she kept going at it for nearly 15 minutes hearing no response,trying to call your phone kept going straight to voice mail before she called sunghoon telling him to ask Jake for your pass code which sunghoon managed to get it out of him,as he was in the middle of a break down.

Putting in the pass code Karina pushed the door realising you were laying against it ,using all her strength,falling asleep on the cold floor made you jncredibly sick,your body was ice cold as she pulled you up,supporting you as she took you to the couch,looking for warm clothes to dress you in and turning on the heater as she wrapped you in a blanket feeling you warm up she breathed out a sigh of relief ,it was also due to the alcohol that you passed out,calling the guys she told them to not let Jake anywhere near your house for the next few days as your emotions were still strong.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

That was the first night of a miserable week to come,you blocked Jake from your contacts as he tried to spam you and never bothered to charge your phone staying locked up in your house surviving on take out food,heavy eyeballs under your eyes,face puffy from the constant crying,everything kept reminding of you jake,and you didn't want that but couldn't avoid it no matter how hard you tried.As for Jake he was equally miserable ,refusing to leave his dorm room,cutting off all contacts from everyone too,he barely ate,filled with the guilt of hurting you and ruining the friendship you'd built over the years.

Sunghoon ,Jay and Karina were in a dilemma on what to do now.Jake wanted to apologise to you but you wanted nothing to do with him this was confusing them as they tried to look for ways to help both of you without ruining your friendship with the 5 of you and the both of you.

That is until one day you decided you'd give him a chance to explain himself,mostly to rid of your guilt, because you weren't heartless and that was your best friend of nearly 10 years ,ofcourse you'd feel guilty so you decided to clean up a bit before texting Karina,about it towhich she immediately responded saying she'd let the boys know,a bit later she texted you telling you jake agreed ,ofcourse he would, thy asked you to unblock him and you agreed ,half heartedly anyway,texting him to come to your place in an hour.

An hour later you heard your doorbell ring sucking in a deep breathe,before opening the door to find Jake,.....you couldn't even recognise him ,he looked just as miserable as you if not worse and you gasped before he flashed you a smile,it didn't look the same anymore it looked like one filed with pain,"Hey y/n," you moved aside letting him in,"Hi..." he had a bag and handed it to you ,looking inside you saw he'd bought you some of your favorite stuff like ramen and some plushies,and your heart ached more at this gesture,he still cared about you...,dewing yourself tearing up before pulling your hoodie over your head and shutting the door placing the bad on a table before walking towards the couch as he stood there waiting for tour permission and you nodded for him to sit down ,hugging a pillow,awkwardness filled the air,"So...how've you been y/n," you wanted to scoff so bad at him before replying in your naturally sarcastic tone even if you weren't meaning to sound sarcastic,"Miserable if it hasn't been obvious enough,you?" He awkwardly laughed feeling embarrassed now,"The same you could say I guess,"another awkward silence enveloped you two before he cleared his throat deciding to speak up,"So uhm I wanted to talk to you about that day.....are you comfortable with me doing so," you gulped ,chewing on your nails before nodding at him,you couldn't form any words at the time,"That day y/n...im sorry I didn't know I would hurt you this much..."you interrupted him,"No Jake it's fine it's not like we're together-" you started off before he cut you off again,"No y/n it's wrong for me cause I really liked you and still do,"puzzled at his words,you blinked twice before shaking your head no way Jake felt the same for you there was just no way,"You what..."you whispered mostly to yourself,baffled by his words,"Yeah y/n I've liked you for a long time,ever since we joined high-school, this whole fuck boy persona I built up was to distract myself ,you were on my mind 24/7 I couldn't even think about anything else just you and it scared me cause my feelings would probably ruin our friendship,especially since you told me at the time you were crushing on Yang jungwon," he chuckled after,it wasn't out of amusement it was a bitter one ,full of pain as you saw him start to tear up and that made you get emotional too,taking in his state.The jake you always knew well kept,always styled hair,bright smile everyday Jake ,no that was not him this man,infront of you with the red eyes and puffy face ,you made him like this,you were gonna break down right there,hand covering your mouth to hold back a choked sob,standing up as you felt the tears run down your face before walking towards him,looking at your feet as you clenched you fists tears streaming down your face,"C-come here please.." you said holding out your hand for him tostand up,he was confused wondering what you wanted to do,before pulling him into a hug,hugging his waist as you sobbed harder and harder on his chest,Jake had a soft spot for you so seeing you so vulnerable made him break down too,burying his face in your neck as he cried harder there,"W-why didn't you tell me.....i-I like you too.." you choked out in between sobs as he muttered a string of 'Sorry's' pulling you tighter into the hug.

Pulling back after a few minutes of both of you sobbing onto each other you pulled back,hands going to his face as you cupped his cheeks looking up at him ,his hands lowering to your waist.You wiped at his tears with your thumb,"I don't wanna see you cry because of me....I'm sorry for ruining you like this," you tried to hold back more tears,immediately shaking his head,"No no y/nnie I caused this,I'm the one who should be sorry.."letting out a chuckle,"You're so stubborn Jakey ,it's both our faults then," he nodded ,smiling genuinely for the first time the whole week,"So do I get to kiss my girlfriend now?" You playfully hit his chest,"Hey you didnt formally ask,"He sits you down on the couch,before kneeling infront of you,"Y/n will you be my girlfriend,I promise to be the best out there just for you,love?" You pulled him by his face to kiss him as an answer before he crawled onto you laying you down fully on the couch before pulling away,knowing what he was going to ask you answered him,"Yes yes I will be your girlfriend,now kiss me ughhh," he laughed at you before moving back down to attach his lips to yours again,wrapping your hands around his neck as you guys just laid there and made out foe nearly 10 minutes before he pulled off of you and ,heading to the kitchen you both made some ramen to have as you laughed and caught up before he added,"I'm gonna take you out on a proper date soon baby,I love you,"He said coming to peck your forehead.Smiling at his affectionate gesture wrapping your arms around his neck,resting your forehead against his you whispered back,"I love you too Jakey," and shared a kiss which was more of a seal of your promise to never leave each other's side ever.

♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎ ♫︎

𝑴𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆:𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 <3

[luckyreds]

"I wrote to Johnny Martin, He wasn't there when I got hit, and I wanted to tell him what happened, tell him I was alive, and to take care of the men. He wrote me back January 12 1945."

Dear Bill,

I received your letter today … Anything you asked me in the letter I’ll do. You know that. As far as what went on after you left, you’ve probably read it in the papers … it was plenty rough … and I’ll tell you later about who got it and who didn’t. Well, Bill … I’m going to see you whether it be soon or a long time, but I’m going to see you no matter what … Bill, when I got your letter, I was at the Co. CP. Of course, everyone was interested to hear from you. Well they said read it out loud. Well, the Co. and the rest of the company headquarters were there. I got halfway through and started to cry in front of all the guys. I just had to take off, Bill. Boy, I never felt so hollow inside in all my life. From now on when you write, please … leave anything about your leg out of my letters. Just do it as a favor for me. I guess I’m not near as good a man as I thought I was. Boy, for the first time, I never had any control of myself. When I heard you were hurt, I got all the poop I could, but you know where we were, and I couldn’t possibly get to see you. All the guys told me how you took it cooler than anybody yet. Laying there shooting the shit when you were hit like that. Some guys shit when they get nicked with a bullet and you get hit like that and just shoot the shit. Well, I just want to tell you right now, you’re so much better of a man than I am it isn’t even funny. I don't mean only in combat either. You’re better than any officer or EM I’ve ever seen or ever will, You’re the first guy whom I’ve ever met I could hit it with and it’s just because you’re such a swell guy … For God’s sake, Bill, don’t let it get you down … I know you’re the kind of guy who will see it through to the end … I expect to have a lot of fun when we get back to the States. Buddy, we’ll rip her apart when I get back. When I go to bed tonight, I am going to pray that I get a furlough to England. I hear they are going to send them out … Well I suppose you want to know what changes there are in the battalion. Our CO is now Lieutenant Speirs from D Company. I think he’s the best one we’ve had yet. There is a new officer in charge of 2nd Platoon. Welsh is S-3 and we have a new S-2 officer. Nixon is Regiment S-3 … I’ll close now, and if I don’t get a couple of letters a week from you, I’ll be disappointed … So Long for now.

Your pal, ‘Jason’ Martin

-Excerpt from Brothers in Battle, Best of friends.