#so again... i wonder if people understand how bad this is

[transhuman-priestess]

#breaking bad#i like it but as a mexican it's weird to watch sometimes#plus every time they're in mexico they use the fucking yellow filter ajsjsj#i could elaborate but watching narcos in american shows often feels... cringe#then again i don't like those plots so i don't watch anything related#(brba and bcs being the exception)#ok maybe i will elaborate but not much bc i don't even remember half of brba at this point#i am however rewatching bcs and it didn't necessarily get better when it comes to this#i don't think these shows ever aimed to do a good or a realistic portrait of narcos/cartels/whatever#for starters the cartel is isolated. you don't actually see the repercussions of their violence#beyond the effects they have on each other#because they aren't the point. they feel like villains in an (american...) superhero movie.#they don't have powers but they aren't down to earth people either.#if you compare them to the white characters they barely feel like people#now. you must know that brba was also a very popular show here in méxico. still is i guess.#and i don't feel like there are many serious conversations about these topics here either#partly because... if you don't take us mexicans seriously as people why should we take your media seriously lol#(mexicans and latinos in general) (the reason why i despise watching any narcos stuff made by americans btw)#(i mean. you don't take narcos seriously. people that kill kidnap and genuinely destroy lives. daily).#(what chance do we have to be well represented as regular people. one wonders)#and partly because in this country we are often forced to live under this impression that american media is So Cool#we must admire it! regardless of everything!#(but this is a whole other conversation)#anyway. it is sad to listen to the insider podcasts and see how much effort was put into these shows#and how they insist in wanting to write three dimensional characters. in not wishing to stick to “this character is simply this or that”#but most of the cartel characters are simply evil. they only serve the purpose of being villains.

#(i ran out of tags so another rb sorry) (said the person that wasn’t going to elaborate)#but here's my biggest pet peeve about these shows. and i think this assures you that this was made strictly for an american audience#no matter how well they did in other countries#you can somehow find an extra that actually has a snake tattoo on his face.#you can do all these amazing props. create whole documents that’ll be on screen for 3 seconds bc fans pay too much attention to everything.#but you can't 1) hire people that actually speak spanish or 2) hire a dialect coach at least?#(maybe they did and i don't know)#don't get me wrong. there are Great actors in these shows#but some of those scenes are not understandable at all!!!#english is my second language. i don't always need to have subtitles to understand.#then there are scenes in spanish and i NEED subtitles. to understand my native language. because... well. i wonder if they even bothered#to check#again i don't blame the actors. but i feel it does a disservice to their performance.#if an actor mispronounced something in english would you keep that take in the show?#if the scenes in spanish (or any other language) weren’t that important for you to consider casting actors with that skill from the start#maybe you can avoid making them struggle and therefore reducing the quality of their work and the show.#(not that americans care I guess)

Hey this is all fascinating and great insight. Especially the subtitles bit.

I feel like nobody appreciates how incredibly racist Breaking Bad was, and I think it’s overwhelming popularity is, at least in some small part, responsible for the wave of anti-Latino sentiment that has defined right wing politics for the last decade, in much the same way that The Birth of a Nation helped make the Klan mainstream again in the 20s.

[thisonegirl]

Further thoughts that I don’t really feel need elaboration:

Boggs is definitely within my top 5 characters. He was one of the only people that saw Katniss for the CHILD she was. He didn’t see the Mockingjay, he saw a girl thrown into the middle of a war as the face of it. He was kind, understanding, honest and protective. I generally love how Suzanne writes her black characters like Reaper, Cinna, Rue, Thresh, Beetee and so on, but Boggs is my favorite of them all.

I deeply dislike Coin. This time around, as I watched with adult eyes (maybe a bit biased too) I realised that she was unlikable from the get go but it was mainly just the annoyance in the condescending way she spoke and her slight tendencies of authoritarianism. Then BOOM, the shoe dropped and yes, she was as bad as Snow.

Finnick’s death hit me harder this time around. Again, watching with adult eyes and minds as well as context. He is an incredibly strong person that deserved far more than the cruel cards he was dealt. He and Annie deserved their fairytale happy ending.

I saw someone say that they hated that Katniss had kids at the end and to that I say you missed the point. She finally left safe enough to bring kids into the world. That was the point. THE WORLD IS FINALLY SAFE.

I pity Katniss so much. Such a heavy burden was placed on her all because she had a good heart. I love her even more for taking it in stride and becoming the hero they needed her to be even if it wasn’t what she wanted. I thought a bit about MHA when Deku says that “my body moves on its own”. How he moves to help before he can even think. Katniss is a bit like that, she helps because it’s her natural response too.

I wonder if Haymich thinks of all the posters that have been painted from his games up until the last one. It’s sad that he hasn’t seen the ones from before.

I like Joanna. Quite a bit actually even though she had some misdirected anger towards Katniss.

I’m happy that Haymich opened up to Katniss and Peeta. I love that he let them in. 

Someone said Prim was always meant to die. The reaping, the bombing in 12, the bunker evac in 13. In a way I get what they meant but it still felt “wasteful” that she ended up dying in the end. Her sister saving her life was the catalyst to the whole thing. In my wishful thinking, I would’ve loved to see them all together enjoying the fruit of their fight and love.

I’m sorry but I can’t help but compare Katniss’ mom to Haymich’s. Their reactions to their husbands’ deaths are on such different ends of the spectrum.

I hate Snow, despise him even. But even I cannot deny the aura that man has. I’M SORRY but when he said “We both know I’m not above killing children, but I’m not wasteful.” CHILLS BUT IN THE WORST WAY.

Plutarch is such an interesting character and I love the mystery that he carries. Someone who cannot be placed in any box. Such a spectacular mind.

Someone said “Coin was lucky Maysilee wasn't around to read her and her fuckass bob” AND PERIOD!!

There was something poetic about Katniss ending a cycle before it began with Coin and letting the people end the Snow.

“We go home.” Haymich, Katniss and Peeta going off together was so special to me. I love that they found the peace and solace they deserved and chose to spend it in each other’s company.

Beetee had a pregnant wife y’all… let me leave it at that.

Maysilee had one hell of a poster.

[creatingblackcharacters]

I just wanted to thank you, because your lessons have been so genuinely helpful the last couple months. Not even just with writing and designing my Black characters, but also with just understanding Black communities a little better. Though lacking the basic skill to research is in no way an excuse, your blog is such a wonderful condensed space for learning and understanding, that it’s made that process more streamlined. Your posts no matter how long or short or expansive or simple are always so helpful and such a delight to ingest, just because your personality is so delightful itself! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and no matter how many people tell you you’re doing a bad job, you’re doing wonderfully and have at the very least helped this artist and human write his characters better and understand some of the people’s lives going on around them a little better, and it owes it all to you! You’re a delightful person and I wish nothing but happiness and peace for you! Thank you 🫶

🥹 you're so sweet! I try my best to make it simple as possible, but even the beginner stuff is a lot. You're very welcome, and thank you for your warm wishes 🤗

and 🤣 okay people don't say I've done a "bad job", it's just I've had a couple run ins where people don't understand and they believe it to be a me problem, or that if I tell them to reread or do the research on their own for better understanding, that that's a problem. And they'll speak to me very condescendingly about it as if I owe them something.

But like... I don't have time to reiterate what I said in a post for EVERY ASK or comment when I could just say "try again with the resource" because I know it's there. Or to offer fifteen visuals to "strengthen my argument" when I'm not here to argue anything, (I don't approach these things as though I gotta prove racism in media and fandom is real, it is) I'm here to tell you "this is real, here's an example or two of the many, here's how it applies".

[otomedetective]

after finishing my second route i just couldn't get all the things bothering me out of my head so i just. made this list

game starts off with completely average heroine thinking about how boring her life is and how she wishes something interesting would happen

what the hell is going on with her necklace? it's her last memento of her dead parents and its important enough that she risked getting attacked by monsters to find it. and then it never got mentioned again?

why did we need to wait until halfway through the game to reveal that the hot guys are the magical girls. come on it's getting increasingly improbable that the heroine hasn't pieced it together yet??? you cannot dismiss this as a coincidence five times in a row????

why does everyone talk like therapy textbooks whenever theyre talking about trauma

side note i feel like everyone talks about the trauma they're feeling rather than, like, actually seeming like theyre feeling it

why do you need to spell out explicitly that this guy is a tsundere and he's actually nice. i know the archetype you don't need to explain every time how everything he does is really nice

what the actual fuck do you mean the boys lose their powers when they fall in love but she doesnt??? "my feelings for you go deeper than romance so i keep my powers" SO DOES THIS BOY LOVE YOU LESS?!

they have the blond villain boy whose thing about his route is that he's a freak and then they stop making him a freak

i dont understand why the blond villain boy and the heroine like each other because his thing is that he literally was like grown in a lab and acts like an attention-seeking child because he was never taught any better. so the heroine takes it upon herself to teach him so she is teaching him basic concepts of words like a preschool teacher to a five year old. and his thing is that he likes her and wants her to pay attention to him but when did that childish attachment/amusement turn into romantic love?

the hero route kills off the heroine's best friend but the villain route keeps her alive because she just. took some meds first. i still dont get why she couldnt have taken the medicine in the hero route as well?

even though the friend survives in the villain route she still doesn't do much

it's called the villain route but everyone's morally grey at worst and the heroine just makes the villains stop hurting people which feels really misleading

the english localization makes it so that no one uses honorifics and always call each other by their first names which makes scenes where the chosen love interest asks u to use his first name really stupid

the two routes i played dragged on so long. i can't 100% this there's 9 different routes and 48 endings i can't do this.

even though this game has 8 love interests i feel like they're not using their cast size really well??? like on the hero route i only interacted with the chosen love interest and occasionally his friend. i didn't see the other two members of the team. on the blond villain boy's route we just did not see the other two members of the villain team for the entire route? ??? there are very few group interactions??? i don't know what the dynamic between the team members is????

okay so why do the villains' skin get darker when they go evil mode? what?

so yeah. i don't think i can play the other routes

oooofff yikes omg. that's really disappointing :(

i kind of wondered for a moment when you mentioned the cast size, since the last game i played with that many LIs i had to drop after 3 routes (Charade Maniacs btw) because the writing just wasn't. good. I had the opposite problem though. The routes were too short, not very fleshed out, and kind of boring. there also really weren't any bad endings to make the game feel like it had any stakes. I think when there's that many routes to write, the writing can really suffer as a result.

i hate!!! when there's a villain LI and you don't even get to let them be awful. what is even the point lmao. let them be evil freaks!!!

(Sidenote: gonna recommend Yang from Piofiore right now while I'm on the topic of awful freaks. his route really doesn't shy away from the bad stuff lol)

the villains' skin darkening when they're evil is... a choice. a bad choice. unfortunately i feel like I've seen it before though in other media too.

the honorifics thing is another pet peeve of mine in translated games. it always comes across so weird. i try to get around it by listening to the voice lines and editing the written words in my head until it feels more natural lol

kinda sucks when a game with an interesting premise disappoints so bad :(((

[hils79]

Hils Watches Justice in the Dark - Ep 1

Getting here has been a real rollercoaster! It started, I was excited, it got pulled after 8 episodes and I was sad, Japan swooped in and saved the day and I was happy again. And now here we are.

I did start reading the novel this was adapted from ages ago but I didn't get very far. Not because it's bad I just got distracted.

So I am vaguely aware of some of the characters but that's about it, and from what I understand they've changed it quite a bit anyway so I'm not sure reading the novel would have helped anyway.

Okay, let's go!

(As an aside I was trying to figure out what came out in September 2023 which was apparently the last time I took out a Youku subscription. Of course it was DMBJ)

Just in case you thought it was real

God, I love cdramas. Haven't even started the episode properly yet and we've already got the scientific explanation for whatever weird shit is about to happen

Okay there's a lot of exposition happening here. So people aren't evil they have a genetic mutation that makes them incapable of feeling empathy. Okay...

Very subtle with this guy being half in the light and half in the darkness. Just guessing but I suspect that he's going to be morally ambiguous and no one knows if he's an apath or not

I blame Shen Wei for this but I don't trust anyone who claims to be an ordinary person. Actually I've just remembered that Priest wrote this novel too so no wonder it's pinging my Guardian vibes.

Ah, okay, we're doing Pei Su might be a serial killer. But probably not because I think he's one of the main pairing?

Oh no. Leather jacket. Sunglasses. I fear I am in danger.

SID? Oh no is this Guardian 2.0? I still haven't recovered from Guardian. Yes, it's been 5 years. Shut up.

How many times is he going to insist he's just an ordinary citizen. Also random observation but I think they've aged him up in this. I feel like he was pretty young in the novel but it's been a while since I read it

Ooh burn!

Driving like a maniac is one way to flirt with a boy I guess

Oh maybe he is supposed to be young. And Luo Weizhao is supposed to be older? How old are these actors anyway? Pei Su's actor is 29 and Luo Weizhao's actor is 38. Okay a 10 year age gap checks out I think?

Okay, this I do remember from the novel

I mean you'd have to be a pretty stupid serial killer to explain everything to your best friend who is also a cop

So they have seven years of beef? Yet Pei Su still keeps following him around.

Well, there was a lot of exposition in that episode but the cast seem great and I'm excited to watch more

[sushi-atsushilover]

Hi I love the way you write and I was wondering if you could do an x reader scenario where the bsd characters find out the reader has asthma? I have asthma and I usually don’t tell people out of embarrassment so I thought it would be interesting with the bsd characters. Thank you.

Bsd characters finding out that reader has asthma

====================================

====================================

Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya, Atsushi, Sasaki, Fyodor etc.

Contains: Fyodor being toxic, manipulation, brainwashing, asthma attacks etc.

*dividers by @cursed-carmine*

====================================

Atsushi Nakajima:

• Would be mildly surprised, but not too surprised. You often wheeze like a certain *cough* eyebrowless mafioso *cough* (pun intended).

• Would assure you there's nothing to be ashamed of, and that you can always rely on him!

• Would buy you all the stuff you need, e.g inhalers, even though he's somewhat broke.

• He gets worried about you sometimes, especially when you do a lot of physical activity.

• Too much physical activity can cause wheezing, shortness of breath, and other asthma symptoms. So yeah, he tries to be near you as much as he can.

• Always carries an inhaler around with him incase you forget yours.

• Makes sure to keep you away from things that might trigger asthma, e.g smoke, allergens, respiratory infections etc.

•He probably also takes advice from Yosano if he doesn't understand something.

====================================

====================================

Chuuya Nakahara:

• If you try to hide that you have asthma from him, he'll still find out anyways. He might not be as smart as Dazai or Mori, but he's a Mafia Executive. He's still pretty smart.

• If you were being really stubborn, he'll probably end up finding out if you have a really strong asthma attack.

• And while you were having a asthma attack, you gave him a heart attack.

• Do NOT do this again💔🥀.

• You traumatized him, he thought you were gonna die😭.

• When you finally explain, he gets mildly annoyed and huffs about how you should've told him sooner, and how it could've ended horribly if no one was there.

• But honestly he doesn't wanna think about that. He does NOT want to imagine what would happen.

• He always makes sure there are inhalers, reliever inhalers, asthma action plans etc. with you.

• He might even make a Port Mafia medic accompany you everywhere if he gets too worried.

• But hey, you'll be 101% safe :D

• Yippeee

====================================

====================================

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

• Evil anemic Russian ratatouille

• He's smart so yeah, he kinda found out about it.

• And he's using this against you. Once again, this is Fyodor, what do ya'll expect. He's TOXIC.

• He'll use your asthma to make you fully reliant on him so you can't leave💔🥀.

• If your asthma isn't all that bad he WILL make it bad. Not too bad that you'll die but bad enough to make you depend on him more.

• He will then ironically make sure you take your meds and shii, and scold you if you don't.

• Nikolai might playfully threaten him that he'll tell you but he gets ✨the rat glare✨.

• If Nikolai still tells you anyways because he's silly, Fyodor will brainwash you into thinking he's right💔🥀.

• Evil ass anaemic russian rat🐀🇷🇺

====================================

====================================

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa:

• Breathless buddies :D (okay, okay I'll stop🥀🥀).

• Is mildly caught off guard but nods to show that he understands.

• Not that he'll admit it but he's kinda worried about you. Which is ironic cuz he has lung disease and he doesn’t take very good care of himself-

• Absolutely refuses when you try to do anything that could potentially lead to trigerring asthma.

• He's in the PM so obviously he's rich. So he'd definitely buy a load of stuff to help you with asthma.

• Always subtly checks up on you, denies it when you ask him about it though.

• You know how the others remind you to take asthma medications and stuff? Well you're gonna have to remind this guy to take care of himself more. Not that he won't remind you, it's just that you have to remind and chide him more than he does to you.

• At this point Gin and Higuchi have to be the ones who reminds the two of you. #Ginsupremacy #Higuchisupremacy #Higuchideservesbetter

====================================

[narryffdreaming]

i'll see people scared of trump's administration 24/7, i'll see people pointing out all the harm he's doing 24/7, but then as soon as taylor swift becomes his target it's like everything turns into a joke. or "it's not that serious" anymore.

i mean, that stadium went crazy with cheers when they saw trump on the screen, then booed with the same energy when they saw Taylor on the same screen. all those people together, in one place, cheering for a man who spreads nothing but violence and hate, then booing a woman that he already declared to hate. and then said man still shared that exact same moment on social media for everyone to see, along with the words "the world is healing".

but somehow people still expect her, and her boyfriend, and her family, and her friends, and everyone around her, to speak up and stand up to him. all the time, at any chance they get. it's like... i dont get it, really. for everyone to treat it so lightly instead of acknowledging what a dangerous situation can be for her at any event/place she's at genuinely doesn't make any sense to me.

so yeah, in the end, i dont think it's stupid to think that sometimes the best thing you can do "for your girlfriend" is to play the game and avoid putting even a bigger target on her back. you can make it about anything you want, but from the way i see it, there's absolutely nothing else he could've said that couldn't have potentially made it worse tonight.

[kalosian-woods]

they will try those kinds of stunts again (source: trust me bro)

since they wander around kalos, it would be likely to encounter ash's friends/rivals somewhere.

also, vibing with two blobs which are actually legendary pokemon and his friend that brought them was definitely not on goodra's bingo, but they've warmed up to each other, so they don't mind

-🦋

gren can tell goodra more details about events that happened when they were away. at least goodra can learn more about what happened during their absence in the team. also they get goodra hugs. slimy, but warm and safe. -🦋

Sometimes you've just gotta get creative with your never-ending problems. And sometimes, those creative solutions means a reenactment of Thousand Arrows by yeeting Greninja while he does Double Team to slice up a knot of vines. It's fun, it's stimulating, and if people see then no they do not.

Yeah that's true. While I feel like most of them would be off travelling at that point, and most probably in other regions, there would be sighting of them once in a while. Grenin + the Cores would definitely hide unless those people are in mortal danger, but who knows? Maybe one day they will feel a bit more comfortable in being seen. After all, if anyone knows how Greninja (and maybe even Squishy) is like, Ash's friends/rivals are the closest bet. But as it is, they need to focus and get the job done. Sure, they rest and have fun once in a while, but human contact is too similiar to what they once had and lost. They would rather remain free and fleeting for the duration of the job and then afterwards meet up with their loved ones again. And then after that maybe check on what the others are doing lol. (But considering the fact that they met Ash, there's always going to be that note of extraordinary with them. With most Trainers out there, to be honest. Run-ins or at least quick sightings is going to be inevitable with their line of work.)

Goodra out here living a very strange life but hey, at least it is a life full of love and two very powerful blobs that can overturn the land itself. But it's fine. A friend of a friend is also their friend :3 And hey! Life is never dull with them around (remembering how Greninja was dared into a stare-off with the Wooper. It took a whole day before one of them moved) (the Cores were no better with the Berry incident). Talking with Greninja and catching up again is also a very big plus. I don't think they were that-that close before, but now they have all the time in the world to make up for it. Greninja sharing stories about the rest of the journey, or at least what he remembered, and Goodra passing on news to them about whatever Clemont + Bonnie tells them whenever they come around to visit. Give and take in that regard too.

[dangoulains-devotion]

grips you by the shoulders

give FFXIII a chance

as much as I adore the game I will accept the gameplay isn't for everyone

but the story is so worth it

[merrilark]

Continuity gets a little murky but I'm shook remembering how complicated Rose Tyler's relationships are outside the Doctor and thinking it's no wonder Jackie and Mickey were so upset about him.

Beyond the obvious, teen Rose running away to live with Jimmy Stone, a full adult, before he's carted away to prison is bonkers. There's no way Jackie wasn't thinking about Jimmy when Nine stepped into the picture. It's a miracle Jackie didn't kill him on the spot.

I want to pick all of them apart and study them (Rose and Mickey particularly) separately, then look at them as a whole. It's fascinating to see how their behavior in "Rose" and onward is disagreeable, but to also dig into them and see where that behavior comes from and why.

[mars-ipan]

hey trans folks i wanna say i love you. trans women and transfems especially i wanna say i love you. the shit this community goes through is so fucking unfair and we have every right to be hurt and angry and tired. no matter what i love you now always and forever. may our love for each other carry and protect us through all the bullshit <3

[irlnikeiyomiuri]

guys did i ever tell u abt my bestie in 8th grade. we were so fucking close genuinely attached at the hip and then we went into ninth grade and covid, and then i saw him again at senior hoco and it was great and then i saw him at senior prom and it was fucking nasty he ain’t even greet me even though we hung out w the same group of people the whole night.

[anhydriite]

[tiredsadpeach]

Yippie who missed my vents

[pagesfromthevoid]

So High School | r. r.

Robert "Bob" Reybnolds x Thunderbolts!reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Mentions of sex. Walker being an asshole. Heavy making out and hickeys. General discussion of Bob's mental health

Author's Note: The horny thoughts got turned into feelings because of therapy but alas

Bob Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Coffee?

It started as a joke.

Sort of.

None of it was technically a lie after the initial lie. 

It was more of a “get off my back” kind of situation but then it became a “let’s fuck with Walker” kind of deal because he wouldn’t drop it. And his reaction was…hilarious, honestly. Especially because Yelena and Ava immediately played along, no questions asked.

“How did you not notice?” Yelena asked, giving Walker a look that suggested he was an idiot. “The moment she saw him in the vault, she had heart eyes for him.”

“It was not the moment I saw him,” she argued back, pointing at the blonde. “It was like…ten minutes later, when he called Walker an asshole and laughed. Then it was definitely a ‘oh, okay. Hear me out,’ kind of moment.”

“Okay, fair,” Ava conceded, nodding. “Though, I think it stopped being a ‘hear me out’ bit pretty soon after.”

“Oh, immediately after,” she agreed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know when it was?”

“I swear to God,” Yelena groaned, knowing absolutely what she was about to say. “It was when he was shot, wasn’t it?”

“Oh my god,” she practically moaned, covering her face with her hands. “Listen. I felt so bad. You don’t get it. This poor boy has been shot and he’s not dying and I’m sure he was scared as hell. But did you see him? Those abs? That look he gave those agents? Fuck me, dude. It’s not a ‘hear me out.’ It’s a ‘hold me back.’”

Walker, at that point, was flabbergasted. Yelena and Ava being privy to the whole thing was enough for him to believe it, but he was so confused. Her? And Bob? Of all people? Of all of them on the team?

Bob??

“Then why aren’t you with him now?” He asked, like he thought he could catch her in a lie.

“He’s asleep?” She pointed out, giving him a ‘duh’ kind of look. “He doesn’t sleep a lot. You think I’m going to go wake him up just because I’m horny?”

She paused. Considered what would happen if John were to go ask Bob himself about their “relationship.” Then she decided that she should probably loop Bob in on it –or at least make sure he was okay with fucking with Walker.

“Actually, you know what. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

And that’s how she ends up in Bob’s room, sitting criss-crossed on the end of his bed, and him sitting mirror opposite of her, confused. 

“So you…told Walker that we’re dating…as a joke?” He asks, and she can’t tell if he’s upset by the whole thing.

“Yes. And I would super appreciate it if you played along because for some reason, he’s really confused by it and I really, truly find it funny. But it’s also totally okay if you don’t want to go along with it, and we can shut it down right now. I really –it’s not something you need to go along with at all.”

“I don’t…I don’t really understand, but I like the idea of messing with Walker so I guess I’m in,” he decides, grinning that boyish grin of his. The room relaxes significantly as she lets out a relieved breath. “So uh, what…what do we need to do to make it believable?”

She did not think this far ahead, honestly. She’s kind of surprised he agreed to play along, honestly. “I mean…I don’t know. He is under the impression I came in here to wake you up for, uh,” she pauses, feeling herself flush as she considers how to phrase it. “I told him I was going to wake you up because I was horny, so there’s that.”

Bob sits there for a second, and she briefly wonders if he’s okay. He kind of looks like he’s short circuiting; eyes blank for a moment as he stares at her. Then he drops one of his legs to the floor, sitting half on the bed. “I could give you a hickey.”

She sputters, completely thrown off by the suggestion. She opens her mouth once, then shuts it. Then opens it again and manages to say, “You –what?”

“I mean, I’ve never given one before. But that would be believable, right?”

She’s sort of stuck on the fact that he’s never given a hickey before and now she really wants to get one and give one. How high school –hickeys. Her mom always said they were gross but the idea of Bob putting his mouth anywhere on her is…enticing as hell. 

So she nods. That’s all she does, because she truly has no idea what she’s gotten herself into.

Bob’s going to give her a hickey, and she’s kind of…very excited about that.

“Okay, yeah. That’s…that’s definitely a good start,” she finally says, confirming the first step in a very stupid plan. 

But he doesn’t move, and she doesn’t either. Because suddenly this is not actually a joke to either of them it feels like. On the contrary, Bob looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Actually, I just…Why was I…I just –I’m curious –,” he starts, stuttering his way through what he’s trying to say. He’s leaning forward some, and she can see the workings of his mind in his eyes. The tug of his brows as he’s thinking about something that’s going to cause him heartache of some kind. And she knows what it is. She just…she knows.

“I swear, I did it because he wouldn’t leave me alone about who I would date on the team. He really wanted me to say him, and I really would rather give myself a lobotomy than even consider dating him.”

“But that…I mean, that doesn’t explain…,” he points to himself, sort of tugging at his sweater. “Why was I the first person that came to mind?” He asks, shifting uncomfortably. She worries now that she’s hurt him with this whole thing.

“Well I –,” she pauses, and considers what she’s about to say. 

She could tell him the truth –after all, everything that followed the “Dude, I’m dating Bob. Where have you been?” comment was…well, it was true. She had absolutely thought he was cute in the vault. And she absolutely gawked when he was shot –not only because he was shot and alive and also flying but because of the abs and how he looked in that moment –confused, but confident. Alarmed, but ready to fight. But that is wholly embarrassing for her. The longer she sits there and considers it, however, the more he probably thinks she’s an asshole. 

So she confesses, and her face is burning because she really didn’t think she would be confessing any sort of crush on Bob tonight. “Because…It made sense,” she tries to explain. But that sounds stupid so she backtracks some. “Listen…It makes sense because I would totally date you. In a heartbeat. If you were…in a place to do that. But I don’t expect you to feel the same or even want to do that.”

He looks even more confused now. But his cheeks are blooming with blush, and it’s spreading down his neck and just below his collar. And she’s now distracted, thinking that if she could see his chest, the blush would be spreading there too. And now she’s thinking about him shirtless, which is absolutely not the thing to do.

“Oh,” he says. Though that’s all he says as he shifts in the bed, moving to plant his feet on the floor. His hands are gripping the side of the mattress tight enough that his knuckles are turning white.

“I’m sorry, Bob,” she says, looking down at her hands. Trying to will her own blush away because now she’s humiliated and she’s an asshole. “I really wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable –I’ll go tell Walker I was lying. Seriously, it’s not –,”

“Why don’t we actually date then?” He interrupts, looking up at her.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated just because I told you I would,” she quickly counters, snapping her attention to him. “Just because I like you doesn’t mean I’ll stop being your friend if you don’t want to date me. God forbid, that would be horrible of me.”

“I don’t feel obligated,” he argues, taking a beat to calm himself down. His hands relax and the color returns to his knuckles. “I know I’m not…the best,” he says, and she’s about to argue but he continues before she can. “But I…I do really like you. And I’d…I’d like to try to take you out on a date. Probably have to take things slow or something, but if that’s okay with you…”

“‘Or something’ being giving me a hickey to freak out Walker?” She jokes, trying to ease the tension in the room.

He laughs. Actually laughs; not one of his uncomfortable ones. But a real laugh that’s soft and sweet and she can’t help but laugh as well when he nods. “Yeah, yeah…we can fast forward a little to that part, if you want.”

“Do you want to do that?”

He hesitates, and she’s about to tell him it's totally okay if he doesn’t want to. But he nods finally. “Yeah. Yeah, I do, actually. But uh,” he stops, and there’s this look on his face that suggests that he’s really considering his next question. At this point, he could ask her just about anything and she’d probably say yes, though. “Can we…maybe not fast forward through the making out part before the hickey?”

“Oh my god, you’re going to be the death of me,” she laughs, moving across the bed on her hands and knees towards him.

“I hope not,” he says, and he sounds genuinely concerned as she sits beside him.

She reaches up and brushes a lock of hair out of his face. “Metaphorically speaking,” she reassures. 

She doesn’t know what to do next, honestly. Not because she doesn’t have any experience, but because she feels nervous for the first time in years over a guy. Which is ridiculous, but at the same time…it’s a good feeling to have.

“Can I…can I kiss you, now?” He asks, but his voice is soft. Trembling. Like he’s afraid she’s going to suddenly change her mind and leave him there, embarrassed. 

“I’d really like that, yeah.”

He’s still timid –a little awkward, a little shaky –but he leans in closer, and she meets him in the middle. Their noses brush just slightly before the space between them is closed. It’s slow at first; testing the waters to make sure they both know what they’re doing. Truly, as high school as they could get without actually being in high school. But she presses forward slightly, resting one hand on his knee and the other hand on his chest. He mimics the motion, sort of, and one of his hands cups the back of neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. His other covers the hand resting on his knee, interlocking their fingers.

It’s her who pulls them backwards onto the bed, their legs still dangling off the side. Their entwined hands are up by her head now and the hand on his chest is grasping at the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer as she swipes her tongue across his bottom lip. Bob is half laying on her, the hand in her hair untangling itself to gently run down her ribcage through her shirt. She hums in response, and he tenses some but doesn’t stop. Instead, he pulls away from her mouth, and she sighs as his lips press against her jaw. 

The movement is just as awkward at first, but he finds a rhythm as he presses a kiss just below her ear then trails them down her throat. His stubble –barely there, but there enough to tickle –brushes her skin and she sighs in content as she loosens the grip on his shirt and tangles her fingers in his hair. Guiding him, carefully, kindly, to the spot on her throat that she wants to feel him mark. The pulse point that drums her heartbeat for this very moment. 

He hesitates again, and this time she’s pretty sure it’s because he actually doesn’t know how to give a hickey. So she forces herself to let go of his hair and taps just below his jaw to get his attention. When he pulls away, his cheeks are bright red and flushed, but he’s got a soft smile on his face. 

“Let me show you,” she offers, and he nods, letting her take the lead if only for a lesson. 

She pushes him onto his back and takes the same position he had been over her. One hand on his rib cage, deftly moving to run her fingers over his abs as she presses a soft kiss to his lips one more time. He tries to pull her back, but she nudges his cheek with her nose, pressing a light kiss there before trailing down his jaw and below his ear –mimicking the movements he had gotten correct. Then, she grazes just at his pulse –presses her tongue against his heartbeat, which spikes the moment her teeth touch his skin –not a bite. Just a little graze. Then she sucks and the sound that comes from his lips is soft but an obvious moan. 

When she pulls away, she admires the handiwork with a soft grin and a quick kiss to his jaw one more time. Then she’s looking down at him, hovering just high enough to see the glossy eyed smile on his face. She misses it, but his eyes shift some –gold flickering through as he returns to the original position and repeats the motions one more time. His mouth on hers in a soft but firm kiss. Then quick, soft kisses along her jaw and down her throat –on the opposite side now of where she left his. He follows her steps to the tee, like a lesson he wants to have perfected, and grazes his teeth along her pulse. When it quickens under his tongue, he hums in excitement, unable to help himself as he marks her as his.

He gets a little carried away, enjoying how she squirms under him as he presses kisses and soft bites to her neck. One hickey isn’t enough, and he leaves several before she’s littered in little bruises all over her throat. He’s about to push it a bit further, confident in his movements for the first in…ever, really, when the glass on his table suddenly explodes.

They yank apart, and she’s got a hand over her heart like she’s panicked. He’s staring at the puddle of water and glass that’s littering his nightstand, his eyes wide. She sees it before he does it –sees him pull away, shrink back behind the wall he’s put up to protect himself and anyone he thinks is in danger because of him. Behind the wall he thinks protects her from him.

“Bob,” she whispers, reaching up to try to get him to look at her, but he fights her, refusing to take his eyes from the splinters of glass. “Hey, it’s okay –we got a little carried away. It happens.”

He shakes his head though, and reaches up to wipe his eyes. It’s then that she realizes he’s started crying, and her heart breaks. She pulls her hands away and shifts, sitting up on her knees and wraps her arms around him from behind. Holds him close, and presses her cheek into his hair as she does so. His hands clutch at her arms, holding onto her like she’s the only thing tethering him to this world and the shadows. 

“It’s okay,” she promises. And she does mean that. It is okay. It will be, at least. “It’s okay –think of it this way –you broke a glass instead of a person, and that means you know how to direct it towards non-living things.” She’s not sure that’s actually reassuring, but she thinks it is, personally. There are worse things to have broken over a glass of water. 

“It could have been you,” he argues, voice shaking as he tries to calm down the tears. 

“But it wasn’t,” she reminds him, pulling him closer against her. “It wasn’t, and we don’t focus on the ‘what if’s’ because it’ll just make things worse. You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt yourself. I would say that that’s a key marker of progress.”

He turns some, finally looking up at her with watery eyes. She pulls the sleeve of her shirt down and wipes the tears from his cheeks, smiling at him softly. Slowly, he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, resting his cheek against her chest. She hugs him back just as tight, pressing a kiss into his hair. 

They sit there for a little while like this. Holding onto each other for dear life; grounding each other in the space they were sharing for the moment. Then Bob sniffles and pulls away, running his hands over his face. 

“It’s okay,” he repeats, though she’s certain he’s reassuring himself and not her. “I’m sorry I ruined –,”

“You didn’t ruin shit,” she interrupts, pointing at him in a scolding sort of way. But she’s smirking lightly. “You gave me a hickey. Everything else was just…a bonus.”

“I think I gave you more than one,” he points out, then gently pokes each mark on her throat and counts them. “Seven.”

“I suppose I owe you six more, some time then.”

*****

“Wait,” Walker says, slamming his hands on the table. Bob flinches, and she touches his leg gently under the table. “I just…I truly cannot believe this.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” she says, and Bob takes her hand in his. His attention is focused on the paper in front of him and the spirals he’s drawing. “I told you we were dating.”

Ava and Yelena are both still playing along, though they’re equally as confused. Not by the fact that she and Bob are a thing –but by the fact that they hadn’t actually picked up on it themselves. 

“I just –listen. I gotta know,” Walker starts and she’s so certain he’s about to say something stupid. “Isn’t…it’s gotta be weird just saying ‘Bob’ over and over when you’re bed. Like, c’mon. Do you say ‘Robert’? Or ‘Bobby’? Or is it just…literally ‘Bob’? Because honestly, that’s…weird to consider.”

She’s about to argue that it’s weird he’s even thinking about them having sex (which, not that it’s any of his business, but they hadn’t). But Bob speaks up first. 

“Her mouth is a little too preoccupied to say anything,” he says, though he’s definitely saying that more to himself than to anyone else. 

She chokes, covering her mouth. Everyone else is just…staring at him. He realizes a second too late that he said the inside thought outside. Then he flushes and tries to backtrack.

“I’m sorry, that’s not –I mean –,”

“Bob, you dog!” Alexei cackles, putting a hand on Bob’s shoulder and shaking it some. “Good for you!”

---

Bob Taglist: @ilovemarvel12 @withahappyrefrain (I'm tagging you specifically because you asked me to share with the class and ily)