#i wonder if people understand how bad this is...

[kitbunnyroo]

thinking about...abandoned android boyfriend....

lemme apologize from now...this is a looong one. it could be structured better, but it's literally just me updating this over the course of some hours/days (?). hope you enjoy this ridiculously long tidbit thooo! <3 (help y'all hit that 30 fast....tyyy!)

also omg thank you all for all the love on the centaur man post??? we love big strong bby fr, 100% will bring him back if y'all wanna see more of him 🤍🤍 (also, not proof read nothing i write is, so forgive any errors plsss)

like picture it, you just find him in a scrap yard cause your pet ran into it or something right...and you can tell that he's functioning, so you're confused as to why he got put for scrap? considering these things are crazy expensive, and the people who threw him out were ever so kind enough to leave all his original packaging, you took him back home.

it did take a while to get his station set up in a little corner, but it wasn't too bad, especially as you looked into the illuminated green eyes of the android who stood a good head or two taller than yourself once you figured out how to get him up and running again.

after you explained in even greater detail how he came to be in your possession, you could almost hear the mechanics in his brain recalibrating all the missed system updates as he now addressed you as master/mistress. not ideal, but who are you to complain once he fixes the drip in your sink that almost cost you hundreds of dollars. maybe having an android in your home wouldn't be so bad.

time flies and you come to find out he was scrapped cause beyond functionality, he had somehow developed a conscious of sorts. which when you think about it, anybody else would be freaked out by their machine suddenly smiling and showing human emotions. was it freaky? hell yeah. was it bad?....not so much.

there was lots of reassurance to be done...he thought that once he started to slip and his consciousness shone through again you'd dump him to be scrap metal too...well, after they remove the scarily realistic skin-like material that outlines his hardware. "So...you're not going to power me off and box me up like the last family did..?" he'd find himself asking after long conversations about how you don't really care he got more human-like as the days went on. living on your own it isn't that bad to feel like you have extremely helpful company rather than a machine in your empty halls. and when he looks at you oh so sweetly? how can you not tell him this is his home too.

android housemate, doing his best to make sure you're always happy. always stress free. always well taken care of. always healthy. always satisfied. so when he's cleaning your room and finds a vibrator, he's everything and appalled. why would you have this when he's right here? was he not good enough? did you not want him to help you? was it his fault? but he simply places it on it's charger and closes your door. when you get home that day you can tell something's off, it's the same air as the early stages when he thought you'd throw him out. so you just make sure to be extra sweet to your caring housemate.

android housemate, now doing research on human pleasure, watching porn, reading all sorts of articles and Quora forums. this seems easy enough to do...he just doesn't understand why you wouldn't ask him to help. darling android housemate realizing that his fans start to go double time when the pixels start to look like you instead of whoever is actually in the videos...even more so when he realizes that's what an imagination is like and that his is picturing himself with you in these videos...he wonders if that can happen....

yandere (???) android housemate who's suddenly gotten all clingy once you're home. as usual, dinner is hot and plated, desert already lined up, but as you shower you can hear him making the time to pick out your outfit from your drawers instead of double checking all is well in the rest of the house...odd, but you don't pay the particularly revealing choice of clothing much mind. dinner goes as usual, till he offers you a much more...inviting? smile after you tell him about your grievances of the day. his eyes never leaving you, even as you eat and he updates minor software...you ask if he can close the windows cause there's a much too warm of a breeze coming in, and he's suddenly glad he has the capabilities to hide the blush that threatened to rise to his fabricated cheeks since it was just his fans. he was getting a bit too much enjoyment from the sight of you wearing an outfit he had picked, enjoying his meals that he makes you everyday, you chose him from the scrap yard that he's convinced held many other androids...

yandere (??) android housemate that's gotten cold to you since you brought home another human and claim that they're your partner. he'd thought that he was being clear with his consecutive months of flirting since his research began, but apparently not clear enough. now he's forced to watch as you bring this human over, it is nice to hear you brag about how lovely he treats you though, especially when he sees them almost shrink where they sit, obviously he can already tell they won't be able to treat you better than your housemate. how could they? they're just a weak human, and he's an android that's learnt every last one of your tastes.

yandere (?) android housemate that's gotten over his chilly attitude in favour of comforting you after your breakup and every proceeding one from then on. on one hand he doesn't enjoy seeing you hurt, but on the other hand he knows the only one meant for you is him, so he'll continue to let these humans know that they won't ever hold a candle to him when it comes to your affections. you don't have to be in pain, you just have to realize he's the one for you. and you can go back to your blissful life.

yandere...android housemate who's worried after you stumble through the door after a work/college party, clearly intoxicated out of your mind. he effortlessly picks you up and takes you to your room, laying next to you when you refused to let him go cause his generated warmth was nice compared to the cold of the air conditioned room. he listens to you babble on about who knows what, and then about your latest break up, and then he's shocked when you blurt out that he'd make such a good boyfriend if he wasn't an android...and somehow, somewhere in his wiring, that hurt? but it also lit something cause you went on to praise all he does for you, especially highlighting his advances and he comes to the conclusion that you only started looking for a human partner because you had assumed that although he had a conscious, he couldn't feel romance. and boy was he now determined to prove you wrong.

yandere. android housemate, now doing everything possible after that night to display romantic affection. sensual massages after particularly aggravating days where his fingers work wonders to the tension coursing through your body, at first you don't think much of it, but when you feel the spikes of breeze specifically from him after every one of your moans, you try to keep your voice down. he downloads them to his software though, and is quickly researching the different modifications available for his kind.

yandere android housemate that gets tired of being referred to by his model name and demands you give him a proper one. and you do. and he loves it. thankfully, he's still linked to the cards of his previous family, so he can make purchases using their money instead of yours without suspicion. he gets his "personal" modification made under their card, leaves right after you do for school/work, and he's back before you're home, already getting things sorted for when you're back. now he just has to hide the tent that forms whenever you call him by the name you gave him....

newly named yandere android...you're not sure anymore. after walking in on him far too many times since you're used to him usually being smooth, but now he has an...enticing, length of dick just hanging between his legs now, it's kind of awkward. even more so when you find yourself outside his newly appointed bedroom to ask him to do something, and end up overhearing his whiney voice floating through the air. now you can't help but wonder how it feels if the rest of his skin feels like regular human skin...maybe an android boyfriend won't be so bad after all...

your android housemate, putting in extra work to keep you happy once he realizes you're not bringing home any more humans. even the vibrator and any other toys you might've had are stored away rather than readily available near your bed. maybe if he does a good enough job, you'll finally ask him for help. you swear you see a subtle throb in his pants sometimes when the thought runs through his not so little android brain.

your android boyfriend with fans so loud when you finally ask him to touch you, that you could've sworn you misread his intentions. but as soon as you try to back out of the situation he's pulled you against his chest with one of hands deeply entangled in you hair while the other hugs you close to him, if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was desperate for that moment...that and the fact that once you're finally in bed he takes initiative to slip under your blanket next to you instead of going to his own room, his hands finding their way snugly around your waist to cuddle you but surely making their way lower down, quicker when he realizes that not only are not trying to stop him, but you're basically leaning into his touch. the frenzy he goes into when you whisper his name that you gave him has your legs quivering on his shoulders, toes pointed every which way as those same illuminated eyes stay glued to your body, confusingly realistic tongue moving more enthusiastically with every sound you make.

your android boyfriend. who now takes any chance he can get to ask if he can fuck you. if his tongue game was this good...what else was he capable of? the thought barely has time to run across your mind because as soon as you agree he's gonna have you folded in half and stuffed full of the most realistic dildo you've ever felt. it didn't feel fabricated in the slightest. from the throb of the veins in your walls to the way it drags so fucking good inside of you, and he makes sure to study your body as he goes. this particular spot made your eyes roll? he's going right back there. you like having you sensitive bits teased while his balls are slapping your skin so hard you can hear them through the wet mess? he's abusing them. by the time he's done you've came enough times to lose count, and best believe he makes sure to endlessly thank and praise you through every bit of it. comments of how good you make him feel, the dimming of his eyes enough to let you know he really does feel it, thanking you for letting him be this close to you, begging you not to go when you try to squirm away from the overstimulation (he calms down a bit so you can catch yourself whenever it's really too much), not to mention the starved kisses he gives you whenever the position allows (all the time). he'll have your back against the wall and hold you up so the only place you can go is further onto his cock while his tongue finally gets to explore your mouth. you'd never believe an android could be so adorably vocal. the moans, the whimpers, the whines. (he can't bring himself to degrade you though, sorry </3)

your android boyfriend making sure he puts the utmost effort into after care. if you let him hit, he's sure to run you a shower or bath of your preference, and trust that when you're out he's already got you a freshly made meal with an accompanying drink. he always makes sure to ask if he was too rough with you, gently massaging your muscles while you relax after your meal. if there's anything, anything at all you desire, he already does it for you, but now he'll go the extra miles if it means you'll be even happier.

your android husband, proposed after years of taking you out on the most wonderful dates, planned more of the wedding than you did since he only wanted you to worry about looking your best, he does let you help if you want though <3. android husband who can't cry, but you almost swear you see him sobbing as you walk (or he walks if you'd prefer) down the aisle, the tears slowing down but never to a complete stop till it's finally time for the "I do"s. your android husband who takes you on a splendid honeymoon of nothing but relaxation, good sights and food, and even better sex. he knows he can't get you pregnant, but that doesn't mean he can't try extra hard once the topic of children roll around. if you do want children though, he's not against adoption (or a sperm donor once their background checks out)

(for his family he invited his previous family, who were surprisingly chill with him using their cards to fund your vacations and now wedding...talk about rich rich)

your android husband <333.

this totaled to 2,264 words (woah??), and i can NOT lie?? i like it. hope you enjoyed this terribly long read and tysm again for all the support like hello!!🤍✨

[blondemrk]

Hi can i do envelope 2 with mark 🐯

LOST TIME

p mark x fem!reader genre angst wc 1.2k

the sound of tires rolling over wet pavement fills the silent streets as a black van slows to a stop in front of the venue. the neon lights above the entrance flicker against the dark sky, and the muffled hum of a crowd seeps through the brick walls. the air is cold, damp with the remnants of rain, but mark barely notices as he steps out, hood pulled over his head, gaze drifting across the unfamiliar yet familiar city.

it had been years since he last walked these streets.

years since he left without looking back.

and years since he last saw you.

his fingers tighten around the strap of his bag as he follows the security team inside. the venue isn’t massive—not like the arenas he’s used to—but there’s a strange comfort in the intimacy of it, in knowing that this place, this city, holds pieces of his past that he abandoned a long time ago.

he doesn’t know why he agreed to come back. nostalgia, maybe. or guilt.

maybe you.

maybe the hope that after all this time, you’d still be here, still waiting, still willing to see him after he disappeared without a trace.

but that would be selfish, wouldn’t it?

you and mark were inseparable as kids, bound by a friendship that felt unbreakable. you spent summers biking through the neighborhood, sharing headphones as you lay on the grass, talking about the future like it was something you could control.

back then, mark’s dreams were small—simple. he wanted to make music, to write songs that made people feel something. you believed in him before anyone else did, sitting cross-legged on his bedroom floor while he scribbled lyrics in a worn-out notebook.

“you’ll make it big one day,” you had told him, grinning. “i’ll be your biggest fan.”

he laughed, nudging your shoulder. “you’ll be right there with me, right?”

“always.”

but “always” had an expiration date.

the day mark got his acceptance letter to train in korea, everything changed.

he was ecstatic, eyes shining with the kind of excitement you had never seen before. and you were happy for him—so, so happy—but beneath that joy was something bitter, something selfish.

“you’re really leaving, huh?” you had asked, trying to sound teasing, even though your voice wavered.

mark hesitated before nodding. “yeah… but it’s not forever.”

but it was.

at first, he tried. he texted, called, sent voice messages telling you about his training, his struggles, the late-night practices that left him exhausted but fulfilled. and you held onto those messages like lifelines, responding every chance you got, telling him about your mundane life in comparison.

but slowly, the messages became less frequent.

the calls stopped.

the time zones stretched the distance between you, and suddenly, you weren’t part of his life anymore.

you told yourself you understood. he was chasing his dream, living the life he always wanted. who were you to hold him back?

but understanding didn’t make it hurt any less.

the coffee shop on 3rd street is the same as he remembers—warm lighting, the scent of espresso, the low hum of conversations overlapping.

but the moment mark steps inside, he feels out of place.

his hands are clammy as he orders, shifting from foot to foot as he glances around. he doesn’t even like coffee that much, but this was your favorite place. he wonders if you still come here.

if you’d even recognize him after all this time.

the barista calls his name, and just as he reaches for the cup, he hears it.

a laugh.

soft, familiar. a sound he hadn’t heard in years, yet it still manages to send a sharp pang through his chest.

his gaze snaps to the corner of the café.

and there you are.

sitting by the window, a book in one hand, a drink in the other. the sight is so painfully familiar that for a second, he forgets how much time has passed.

you look… older. not in a bad way. just different. the softness of youth is gone, replaced by something quieter, more mature. he wonders if you’ve changed or if he just doesn’t know you anymore.

he takes a shaky breath. he shouldn’t disturb you. you look happy. peaceful.

but then your eyes lift, and suddenly, he’s frozen.

shock flickers across your face, but it disappears just as quickly, replaced by something unreadable.

mark swallows, gripping his cup tighter as he takes a hesitant step forward.

“hey,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

for a moment, you just stare at him, as if trying to determine if he’s real. then, slowly, you set your book down.

“mark.”

it shouldn’t hurt, the way you say his name—carefully, cautiously, like he’s a stranger.

like he isn’t the same boy you once promised to stay beside forever.

the air between you is thick with unspoken words. you agreed to talk, but now that you’re here—now that you’re sitting across from him in a quiet corner of the café—mark realizes he has no idea what to say.

he should apologize. should tell you he’s sorry for leaving, for never looking back, for letting the distance turn into silence.

but before he can, you speak first.

“you look good.”

it’s polite. distant.

not the way you used to talk to him.

mark forces a smile. “so do you.”

a beat of silence.

then, you exhale, setting your cup down. “why are you here, mark?”

the question is simple, but it carries weight.

mark shifts uncomfortably. “i—i had a concert here. thought i’d… check out the old places.”

you hum, nodding, but you don’t look convinced.

“i didn’t mean just here,” you clarify. “i mean… why now? why after all this time?”

mark clenches his fists. he wishes he had a good answer. wishes he could say something that would make up for the years of absence, for the messages left on read, for the calls never returned.

“i don’t know,” he admits quietly. “i guess i just… missed you.”

a sharp exhale. you look away, fingers curling around your mug.

“you don’t get to say that,” you whisper. “not after disappearing for years.”

mark flinches. he deserves that.

“i know,” he murmurs. “i messed up. i—i should’ve tried harder.”

“you didn’t try at all, mark.” your voice isn’t angry. just tired. “do you even know how long i waited? how many times i told myself you’d call back? that you’d keep your promise?”

mark swallows the lump in his throat. “i—”

“but you didn’t,” you continue. “you left, and i had to be okay with it. i had to move on. and i did.”

something cracks in his chest.

“you’re right,” he says hoarsely. “i don’t deserve to ask for anything. i just… i wanted to see you. even if you never want to talk to me again, i just needed you to know that i—” he stops, inhaling sharply. “that i never forgot about you.”

your expression softens—just barely.

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then, you sigh, rubbing your temple. “i don’t know if we can go back to how things were, mark.”

“i know,” he whispers. “but maybe… maybe we can start again?”

a pause.

then, finally, you meet his gaze.

and for the first time that night, your lips twitch into something almost like a smile.

“maybe”

and that’s enough.

for now.

be prepared for the next one... its SO SAD.

[the-mountain-flower]

#? this is what i ask myself on a daily basis#when i feel like being talked to like a toddler i ask my parents that#and they always say stuff like this.#YES I KNOW YOU THINK CANNIBALISM IS BAD#BUT WHY DO YOU#WHAT IS THAT FEELING BASED ON#others dont do this?#< prev's tags#I've actually wondered this myself#by my observation#it seems like it has something to do with the idea that when something is consumed it loses its previous identity via digestion#and the general discomfort around the idea of/avoidance towards knowing the animal being eaten#like short-lived animals don't always get the “don't name them don't get attached to them” thing just because they're going to die soon#but farm animals raised for their meat get that because no only are they going to die#but they're going to get killed for the purpose of consumption#and going 'hey that bacon you're eating used to be my beloved pet jeff and he loved playing in the mud and bonking my legs with his nose'#tends to put people off of the idea of eating it#it's the same reason stuff like dog meat is normal to some cultures and such a horrible idea to others bc doggos are our beloved friends#or why cow meat is normalized many places but a horrific affront in others due to cows being sacred#people that culturally have pigs or chickens were beloved pets would probably be horrified at the idea of pig or chicken meat as food#it really depends on the perception of the animal#and humans are Us. the idea of eating other humans is common so off-putting because that was A Person With An Entire Personality And A Life#which tends to be a lot more prevalent in our minds than it is for other animals#plus I think eating human meat that's actually viable to be very edible would require murder so............ yeah

So apparently I still have more to say on the subject so uh...

Trigger warnings for dehumanization, racism, and genocide

As you can probably tell I've thought a bit about human perception of ourselves and other animals and what really makes us different since I don't think sentience/sapience is a mark of species supremacy or whatever. Why murder is Very Bad but killing animals without good reason is Less Bad? Why we hold more love for some species of animals and contempt for others? Why do people find Pinocchio plots so compelling? Why getting hit by a car and surviving means doing our best to save them as mercy for humans, but 'putting them out of their misery' as mercy for animals? Why is senseless violence less bad when it comes to animals and atrocious when it comes to people? Why is killing bad but being omnivorous or carnivorous is morally neutral? Or why being called an 'animal' is supposed to be an insult (because younger me Did Not Understand that because animals aren't bad (and also categorically speaking humans are animals))?

One of those things is why people who try to excuse stuff like racism and genocide with (extremely racist language warning) calling their targets 'animals' or 'not fully human' or just straight-up 'not human' and why it's such a prevalent tool for the oppressor,

Because when you think about it logically it doesn't make sense. Even if they were doing these atrocities to actual non-human animals, that doesn't make it okay or right. Humans wiping out entire types of animals off the face of the Earth is most definitely A Bad Thing, both because of the unnecessary brutality and because it's really bad for ecosystems. So why does dehumanizing propaganda suddenly mean it seems okay to cause mass death and suffering? Why would anyone think either of those things (mass death to people or to animals) are okay?? Why is anyone so desensitized to such unreasonable violence??

And I think it has something to do with how a lot of humans perceive themselves and other humans. Because of the us vs. them mentality that I think is a result of evolutionary need to protect ourselves from the dangerous parts of nature. I think that's the thing that gets weaponized as "humans are superior because they're Us." That's what causes people to care less about other animals than they do other humans, because it's a lot harder to kill a predator in self-defense or to hunt animals for food, if you're grappling with empathy for that creature. I think a balance is necessary, like when a hunter pays respects to the animals they hunt, but that requires thought and consideration for something unlike yourself, and that tends to be a lot harder than just getting yourself to have complete apathy when hunting for self-preservation. And that lends itself to becoming very dangerous when justification for violence changes with what you perceive as necessary, and when your perception of 'us' changes. Because if killing animals is fine because they're not human, then what's to stop you from killing anything you see even if you don't need to just because they're not 'us'? And what's to stop you from seeing other humans as okay to kill because they're not like the conception of 'us' that you've built up in your head?

Justifying atrocities with dehumanization, in my observation at least, seems to be a result of human selfishness taken too far, of dismissing the unity and need for diversity that's absolutely necessary for survival and more, and of constructed apathy.

...Wow I didn't think I had that much to say on the subject but here you go I guess. To be fair, this has genuinely helped me unpack and unlearn a lot of harmful internalized stuff. Of course, I'm open to others' views and constructive criticism.

[elodieunderglass]

Just dropping in too say, really enjoying the Killieposting lately! As someone who was never a horsegirl but did read a lot of books about them, I love it.

Anyways, since i know you are also a Diana Wynne Jones enjoyer, I was wondering if you'd ever read Enchanted Glass? feat. an old retired jockey living with a disability caused by an injury from his racing days! It's actually one of my favorite DWJ stories but no one else ever seems to have heard of it (also featuring weredogs, vegetable growing, grief, romance, the failures of the foster system, the king and queen and queen of faerie, and a couple of slightly cringefail wizards types(for anyone interested in such things))

I’m really glad! I start to feel embarrassed but then people send me lovely asks!

I wish I’d written Enchanted Glass(2010), but she got there first.

On balance it’s decent Jockey Representation, with a joke just for me:

“Tarquin’s small, bearded face looked to Andrew to be showing agony. But he reminded himself that the man had been a jockey and that jockeys were used to pain.”

— Enchanted Glass by Diana Wynne Jones

(Killie offscreen plaintively saying that that doesn’t mean they want to be in pain)

DWJ 🤝 Dick Francis with the content, of course, but note the stylistic lack of comma!!! That’s not DWJ’s cadence, that’s a Francis signature. That is LITERALLY a joke just for me. One point for that.

Unfortunately, I do have to condemn this as Problematic, even if it’s Aidan (feral orphan failed by foster system)POV and intended to reveal Aidan’s character:

“Aidan was astonished all over again at the little man with one leg, who energetically heaved himself into the room with his crutches. He should have had the hat, Aidan thought.”

Oh Aidan no -

“He was surely a gnome, beard and all. But his greying head was bare and slightly bald. “You know my brother-in-law, Tarquin O’Connor,” Mr Stock announced.”

Do not -

“Ah, no. He’s Irish. He’s a leprechaun, Aidan thought.”

Why do English people exist? Really? I do understand that this is a feral foster child POV of course, but come on, kid.

“He had been right to think leprechaun about the brave, shrewd little man with one leg. He almost was one. He was full of gifts.”

No you were not right Aidan, that’s plain racism, argh.

I like this shoutout to the Injured Jockeys Fund:

“Tark, as Mr Stock heard it, had been lucky to live, trampled and broken in all directions as he was. He’d never ride again. Nowadays, Tarquin lived on his savings and what he got from the Injured Jockey (sic) Fund…”

Still relevant today and a nice touch. Here’s the webpage for the IJF with some up-to-date statistics.

Quick edit to show how DWJ is very good with POV here in Andrew POV:

“Though the life of a jockey was something Andrew could barely imagine himself, he could tell it had been as thrilling and absorbing as his own work on his book.”

Yeah I reckon it might be Andrew lmao. Lmao it is as thrilling as writing an academic text for SURE. So empathetic of you to notice that.

(Love a good DWJ unreliable narrator)

on the whole, not bad Jockey Representation and a book that contains competitive flower and vegetable growing.

Me 🤝 Tarquin having to console ourselves for winning prizes for our cakes instead, due to blatant FUCKING AROUND FROM THE JUDGES. I saw you, Tark, you deserved that win, and I completely understand that cake prizes ain’t shit really, anyone can bake a cake. I don’t care that the fucking king of the elves himself is fucking us around in some kind of climactic scene or something, trust me, that kind of thing takes care of itself, narratively speaking. it’s the fact that you look back at your records for years afterwards and have to remember that ONE year, that ONE YEAR where they DELIBERATELY DICKED YOU OVER - “oh that’s the year that the elf king guy or whatever got mad” FORGET THAT? SO WHAT? GEOPOLITICS?? - I’ll be noticing the blank spot where my prize should’ve gone for the rest of my LIFE?

On balance I do appreciate this book! Thank you!!

[vershautece]

There’s actually a long retweet that he deleted but it essentially said that women are the Achilles heel of the species and they’ll never understand male spaces. He was also interested in an Indian writer’s (Jash Dholani) unreleased book and flew out to meet him & gave him feedback. Someone recently read the book and said it was a lot of misogynistic views (ie. how women shouldn’t be in the workplace etc). At least up until recently Luigi’s opinions were definitely red-pilled leaning 😬

yeah, i know all about that! i saw it on reddit about a month ago, i’ll paste my own reddit response here because it’s the best way to explain what i think. i should have posted this weeks ago actually:

“This is just how I interpret his character, based on everything I’ve seen, but it seems that his struggle to develop relationships with women (or anyone, he said he struggles to connect w/ people in general) was made worse by his adopting the typical masculine stoicism and the pressure that comes with that, wondering why you aren’t connecting well with women when the men online are telling you you’re perfect. This would have seriously affected his mental health, especially regarding view of self. It happens to SO many men who align with stoicism, and Luigi ended up getting manipulated by the extremely misogynistic evolutionary theory that women and men are biologically different, so much so that men need their own ‘spaces’. I don’t hate him for this, I feel sorry for him - these red-pilled accounts definitely helped him come to the false conclusion that the only reason women don’t understand him is because of a biological difference where any woman can never truly understand any man. Also, his interest in science would have further made that ideology appealing.”

& “He had close platonic friendships with girls, so I don’t believe at all that he hates women, but the people he agrees with are on that path.”

so essentially i’m saying that when you look at the reason why he succumbed to that thinking (stemming from his stoicism and issues with relationships), and you pair that with the sort of person he is (loving, caring, has friends that are women, no one has a bad word to say about him) he is clearly not a misogynist, rather he’s being manipulated by misogynist writers and philosophies. things aren’t always as black and white as they seem; i know we don’t actually know luigi personally, but i understand precisely why he took up these views and i feel sorry for him - he won’t have these views in the aggressive way a lot of men do.

thank you for sending me this actually, because i should’ve mentioned it when i first saw it!

[moonzzip]

spill the tea | kwon jiyong

a/n – so, I wrote this during class, I couldn't pay attention, I was thinking too much about jiyong. I don't know if I'll do another part, it depends on your reaction, initially, I don't plan on doing pt.2, I'm enjoying doing a bit of angst so much, i don't understand... again, I just wrote what came to my head, the english is still kind of... bad, but I hope you like it!

everything has been lightly reviewed, please let me know of any grammar error/incorrect word!

summary: jiyong is anxious, very nervous about appearing on stage again in front of so many people, but you appear.

pairing: jiyong x gn!reader

warnings: a fair amount of self-deprecation, abusive work, mentions of anxiety, reader has confidence issues, angst, fluff

lowercase letters, word count: 1,1k (again)

spinning the rings on his fingers, jiyong’s palms sweat, and he unconsciously wipes them on his light pink pants. looking around absentmindedly, his thoughts race a mile a minute, and he exhales hurriedly.

hearing two soft knocks on the door, he looks at it, a bit confused.

“jiyong-nim?” you whisper, peeking in with only half of your face visible, your body still outside.

the man nods, giving you permission to enter. you smile softly and finally step inside.

“excuse me…” your voice is gentle, barely above a whisper, not wanting to be a bother. “since i know you like tea, i decided to make some and bring it to you.”

in your hand, you hold a metallic thermal bottle, and in the other, a small, delicate package of chocolate cookies you had baked just a few hours ago.

you can’t help but wonder how he must be feeling, returning to the stage after so many years. being part of his personal staff, you and the team always communicate with him directly.

well… not you. the others.

you never had the courage—nor the opportunity, really. not for lack of trying, but because of someone specific.

of course, the great g-dragon would have a highly qualified team of professionals. but you never felt like one of them, and that person made sure to remind you of your “proper place.” the moment jiyong turned his back, all of her frustrations were dumped onto you. maybe you were hired as a verbal punching bag for the “blessed being” without realizing it. it made you wonder if you had remembered to read the fine print.

she didn’t even bother to call you by your name—always using other names, but never yours.

of course, you had thought about reporting it, but someone as insignificant as you in this industry, compared to her—who is beloved and has more connections than you could count—who’s to say she wouldn’t send someone to get rid of you while you’re in the bathroom? you never know. you know they would never fire her. you losing your job would be much easier than any close employee of jiyong’s facing consequences.

you? a new hire? who gets stepped on by senior staff? reporting her and expecting her to be fired for abuse of power and verbal harassment—if that’s even considered a crime? never. only in your dreams.

you’ve always known that keeping quiet avoids unnecessary arguments, even if you constantly bite your tongue to hold back a sharp reply. you need this job to survive. the salary is too good, and you think you can endure a certain level of mistreatment. at the end of the day, you’re working for g-dragon.

kwon jiyong.

so, you put up with a little more.

you’ve always been someone who minds their own business, who hates being a burden, who puts effort and dedication into everything you do. that’s what got you here, and you won’t let nerves over trivial things get the best of you.

sometimes, you stop and wonder if it’s worth tolerating such ridiculous treatment. but then you remind yourself—you’re on your own. you handle things as best as you can with what you have.

just you and yourself.

you don’t remember having any true friendships you’d take with you for life. maybe some colleagues, but nothing like “i need a shoulder to lean on, can i talk to you?”

you don’t dwell on it. you don’t even seek that kind of connection anymore—you gave up long ago.

you care too much about what others think of you. you like leaving a good impression—being seen as reliable, always prepared, capable of doing whatever is asked of you.

but you also let people step on you—on your pride, almost on you, literally.

when did that become “okay”?

you have no idea. it feels like it’s always been this way. you’re invisible. never invited to anything. you watch others having fun, calling each other out for drinks, and you can’t even picture yourself in a situation like that.

honestly?

you silence your thoughts for now.

you hand him the tea and cookies, and he stands up, bowing politely, ever so charming. a small smile grace his beautiful face, bringing a subtle glow of admiration to your own, soon he sits down again.

“i tried making passion fruit tea with pomegranate… passion fruit helps with stress and mood, pomegranate helps with the throat in case of hoarseness or pain, and also—”

jiyong watches you ramble (your voice still soft and low, almost a whisper), his lips forming a small pout, eyes slightly wide, eyebrows subtly raised. one hand rests on his chin, legs crossed, elbow propped up.

for the first time since arriving here, he finds himself distracted, momentarily forgetting his nerves and anxiety.

thinking back, he realizes he has never interacted with you directly.

of course, he’s seen you around—always busy, whether carrying heavy boxes, taking notes from a distance, staying late to fix a loose button or sequin on his outfit, bringing drinks, coffee, and snacks for everyone (never personally handing them to him), and countless other tasks that he’s almost certain aren’t your responsibility.

he’s never seen you with anyone. a friend, or something like that.

not that he had noticed before.

but, you know, when people are close, it’s something you can feel.

jiyong’s thoughts (just like your rambling) are abruptly interrupted by the loud, sudden swing of the dressing room door.

both of your heads snap toward the sound.

“jiyo-ssi!! you’re up next, it’s packed today, hurry up!”

ah, it’s her. the very person who used you as her personal punching bag.

without so much as a polite greeting, she shoves you aside and grabs jiyong’s arm.

still surprised, he simply looks ahead as he’s dragged away in a rush.

you just stare down at your hands, now clasped together in front of you, until—

“___?”

startled, you look up—and see g-d smiling at you.

in your eyes, he glows.

“thank you so much. i feel a lot better now.”

his voice, deep yet gentle, carries the words, and suddenly, the world seems more colorful as you both look directly at each other.

have you ever noticed how beautiful his eyes are?

and then, the door closes.

you stay there, frozen, until your legs weaken, and you crouch down, placing a hand over your racing heart, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“…but you didn’t even drink the tea…” you murmur, embarrassed.

a/n – thanks for the positive reactions on 'thinkin' bout you'! I'm glad you liked it, it just makes me want to write more. this time I heard JK's 'still with you', it brought up a lot of feelings and I ended up pouring it all out in the reader's self-deprecating parts. Sorry not sorry. sorry again for my english, feel free to correct me kindly!

[biichama]

Honestly, this is part of why I mostly only read P&P fanfiction—which makes up the vast, vast majority of JAFF—on recommendation these days (and by these days I mean in the last decade or so, because these problems go back well over a decade.) Otherwise, it's too goddamn easy to stumble into this bullshit.

Caroline Bingley really doesn't deserve how she gets treated in fanfic. Yes, she's a catty mean girl to Elizabeth, but so was Darcy at the beginning of the novel. But like that's all she is. Bethany's right—people don't shit on Mrs Norris the way that they do Caroline and Mrs Norris is straight up abusive.

I wonder sometimes how much it relates to like people whose primary canon knowledge comes from the miniseries rather than the actual books? I'm like the last Austen fan on earth who still hasn't watched the miniseries, but I've noticed a lot of the more egregious portrayals also fall under what I tend to think of as Orange Caroline: the legion of unrelated fanfic where the same non-canon details keep showing up. Things like Elizabeth's garnet cross and Miss Bingley wearing orange all the time and Voi Che Sapete. When I first got into JAFF, I was quite confused by Orange Caroline and wondered if there was like this extremely influential fanwork that I'd yet to stumble upon that everyone was imitating. It wasn't until I saw some screenshots of the miniseries that weren't wet shirt Darcy that I begun to understand.

But like if you're not reading the actual books, if you're just watching people on your TV speaking the book dialogue, then you miss Jane Austen's narration and that matters. So much. It's where she does half her commentary and characterization. And if you don't have her narration, then it's really easy to project your own ideas about human nature onto everything and if you're inclined to internalized misogyny already...

Regardless, the misogyny problem in JAFF does go pretty fucking deep. So does the homophobia. You don't see it quite so much on like AO3, but on the bulletin boards where the bulk of JAFF activity used to take place? A Happy Assembly etc? It was pretty bad, guys. Like just this intensely socially conservative place. I posted a femslash fanfic on AHA back in 2010—unrequited Caroline Bingley crushing on Jane, canon compliant—and I had people DM me to tell me how brave I was for doing so. In 2010. And then like a week later some assholes actually left AHA to start their own bulletin board called ElizabethAndDarcy.com because AHA's moderators (to their credit) had refused to ban gay related content. In 2010.

Like that's the thing. I don't know how much it's still like that because I kind of dipped from places like AHA a decade ago, but at the time it was really that bad and there's enough fanfic still floating around from back then that we're all kind of cursed with it. All you really can do is mostly curate your P&P reading to what other people recommend and get more adventurous with fic for the other books. It sucks, but it is what it is.

And you know, keep that shit out of any fanfic you yourself write. But that goes without saying.

Unconsciously Done: An Examination of Misogyny in the Treatment of Caroline Bingley in Jane Austen Fan Fiction

This essay is not meant as an attack on any specific author who writes JAFF. It is a criticism of a trend that is very strong in the genre and I find extremely problematic.

It is my firm belief that Jane Austen felt deeply for the plight of women in her era and that her books examine the difficult decisions that women were forced to make because of their secondary position in society. Jane Austen presents women to us who have little power and whose only hope in future provision and comfort lies in the whims of men. Moreover, Jane Austen never in her collected works, asks us to delight in the downfall or destruction of a woman. Given this context, I find it highly distressing and untrue to Jane Austen’s legacy that so often in Jane Austen Fan Fiction (JAFF), authors invite readers to celebrate the degradation of Caroline Bingley. This is a repugnant practice that both goes against the intent of Jane Austen’s works and by attacking a woman in particular is an unconscious display of misogyny.

Keep reading

[inkspiredwriting]

Happier

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I recently got a message from @optimisticlightenthusiast with this wonderful idea. So I wrote a oneshot and I really hope you like it. The song in the OneShot is called happier by Olivia Rodrigo. I didn't know this song before and now I hear it all the time. @optimisticlightenthusiast please let me know what you think

Warnings: Heartbreak?

When Five and Lila finally returned to their timeline, seven years had passed for them—years of survival, struggle, and ultimately, an unbreakable bond. But for everyone else, it had only been a few hours. That fact alone was enough to create fractures in relationships Five had once taken for granted.

Especially with Y/n.

Before the incident, Y/n had been his world. She had been the one to soften his sharp edges, the one who made him believe, even for a fleeting moment, that he could have something normal. But when he vanished, Lila was there with him and Y/n wasn't.

At first, Five had assumed things could go back to the way they were. Sure, he and Lila had been through hell together and kissed, but that didn’t mean things had changed between him and Y/n... right?

But Diego saw it before Five did. He saw the way Five and Lila moved around each other like magnets, the way they understood each other in ways no one else could, how they looked at each other. And Diego, despite his usual obliviousness, could see the pain it caused Y/n and also himself.

So Diego made a decision.

"Lila staying with you," Diego had told Five one night, after the dust settled a little. "Me and also Y/n can’t be around that. Around you two."

And that was it. No discussion. No argument. Just an unspoken understanding that things had shifted, and Diego wasn’t going to fight it.

Y/n, however, wasn’t as loud about her pain. Instead, she turned it into something beautiful.

A few weeks later, Five heard the song. "Happier."

It played from the speakers one morning while he and Lila sat around for breakfast, and the moment Five heard the lyrics, his stomach twisted.

"I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me."

His grip on his coffee mug tightened. The words hit like a bullet, each lyric digging into his ribs like a truth he didn’t want to face.

"And now I'm pickin' her apart Like cuttin' her down will make you miss my wretched heart."

Across the table, Lila chewed lazily on her toast, unfazed. But Five felt like he was suffocating.

Because it wasn’t just a song.

It was Y/n, putting her heartbreak into music for the entire world to hear.

And it worked. Five felt bad. Really bad.

But what could he do? He had made his choice. Hadn’t he?

For weeks, he tried to push it aside, convincing himself that Y/n would be fine. That she’d move on. That the song was just a fleeting moment of pain she needed to release.

But then, she did move on.

And that was somehow worse.

It happened unexpectedly.

Five had just walked into a coffee shop when he saw her, sitting at a table with Diego of all people. At first, Five assumed it was a casual meet-up. But then Y/n laughed—one of those real, effortless laughs that used to belong to him.

And Diego? He was smiling at her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Five felt something in his chest twist.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath.

It was one thing to hear her pain in a song. It was another to see her happy—actually happy—with someone else.

"Jealous much?" Lila's voice rang in his ear, and Five turned to see her standing beside him, sipping a stolen coffee.

"I'm not jealous," Five lied.

Lila snorted. "Sure, and I’m a kindergarten teacher."

Five sighed, running a hand down his face. "She wrote a song about me. A brutal song about me, and now she’s sitting there looking like she never cared at all."

"Maybe that’s the point," Lila shrugged. "You broke her heart, she got over it. That’s what people do."

Five scowled. "I didn’t break her heart."

Lila raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on. You and I were trapped in a timeline for seven years and fell in love, even though you were in a relationship with Y/n and I was married to Diego. What did you think was gonna happen?"

He had no response to that.

Instead, he glanced back at Y/n, who was now holding Diego’s hand, her fingers casually playing with his as they talked.

That could’ve been him. That should’ve been him.

But it was too late.

He had made his choice. And now he had to live with it.

Even if it hurt like hell.

[chaifootsteps]

So. The whole “Ken held my IP hostage” thing maybe what happened in Vivzie’s mind, but reading their conversation as 3rd party like. Ken was being extremely reasonable, and that’s not what appears to have happened in reality.

My understanding of the situation based on the chat logs is this—

Viv reached out to THEM and sent a legal contract to sign. Ken congratulated Viv on the proposal and pitch going through.

Ken expressed wanting to get a lawyer to look at the contract (which to me seems really reasonable and like something you should always do with legal docs tbh?) and stipulated that they wanted a list of the things they contributed to Hazbin, so they would be aware of any rights to concepts/writing that they were signing away (also, to me, this seems fair. I would want to know what I wouldn’t be able to use again in the future if it’s going to be a big part of an IP I’m no longer involved in, as it could be easy for the IP holder to then later accuse me of using ideas I’d already signed over and try and take me to court)

After this, Viv expresses she’s really nervous and kind of implies that Ken wouldn’t need to do anything like that and should just read and sign the contract THAT night and send it back over as soon as possible.

Which, again, to me is wild. With any legal document that involves stuff like this, I don’t think it’s crazy to want the time to review it carefully and have a lawyer look at it to help with stuff. Like that’s not an insane ask, even with people you are very close to or trust, I think it’s good to have someone review legal documents like that to make sure everything is completely clear to all parties. I would WANT someone I’m close to to look over everything and if there’s an issue we can address it.

So. Yeah, to me,it seems to me like Ken was trying to be fully aware of everything they would be handing over to Viv, and Vivziepop then acted as if Ken was trying to steal Hazbin from her and accused them of doing a bunch of bad stuff :/

Either way it’s just really appalling to me that Vivzie seemingly wants people to believe that she birthed every little thing about Hazbin Hotel completely on her own out of thin air. Or at the very least doesn’t want to acknowledge the efforts of the team that made her show possible.

The saddest part of it all to me is that Ken's talked about how they still wonder if they should have signed those documents, but they ultimately did it because Viv seemed to be hurting, and as far as they knew, she was their friend.

[astrylx]

Supernatural S.5 Ep.4 - The End - Liveblog

This episode appears to be a zombie episode. I am intrigued. I'm a very hit or miss person when it comes to zombie type stories. When I like them, they typically either satirize the genre or expand on science behind it. I'm expecting neither from Supernatural.

The demons have the Colt. Interesting. I'm curious how this is going to play out. I love Cas on the phone by the way. Is Castiel actually going to wait there all night?

SAM! He's telling Dean everything, is he? Fuck. The way Dean treats it too, I can't tell how he actually feels. If he's masking his emotions or he's just come to not be able to fully care because of everything that's happened. Or if he's shut himself out of feeling. I can't tell. But them acting like this with one another doesn't feel right.

"Stay away from each other for good." You can't mean that. You don't... actually mean that, right?

Is this Dean's way of protecting Sam, as he always has, as he has always done? Or is it his way of protecting himself?

Now is Dean going to see what it's like when he doesn't have Sam? Is this the Trickster again? Ngl, I kind of hope it is, because I absolutely adore the Trickster and want more of him. He's one of my favorite characters.

Croatoan... Whelp. That helps explain it. Makes sense too. I should have expected it, but I'm not going to lie, I kind of forgot that episode even though I really liked it. Probably because I watched it while sick. I wonder what this means for Sam though, because as previously established, Sam is immune. I also wonder if Dean is immune since even though he doesn't have demon blood, he is the vessel of Michael. I also wonder what demon released the virus. Setting my bets on either Lucifer or more likely, Meg.

Holy shit- the fucking military arsenal-

It's Zachariah, not Trickster. Fuck. Fuck that man, I hate him.

In this world Bobby is dead, isn't he? I hate that. I know eventually in this show Bobby will die, and when he does, that will probably be when this show actually makes me cry.

Castiel is in the photo? I'm confused. This episode is confusing me.

Dean just knocked out Dean? I am so confused.

As I proud hater of time travel (in almost all circumstances, Kurt Vonnegut with Billy being stuck in time, you are an exception), I am already not that big of a fan of this episode. It's two things I tend not to like in one: time travel and zombies. Yet we persist. So it goes.

So Sam is dead. Didn't Lucifer say he would revive him, though?

"You weren't with him?" Dean you literally hung up on him a few hours earlier. You said it was better off apart. No shit you weren't with him. Not to be a hater, of course. I understand how you're feeling. I can see the realization hitting your eyes. I'm assuming by Dean saying they haven't talked in five years that the call from earlier is the last time they talk. Which. Wow what a last talk.

CHUCK! I like Chuck. I don't fully trust him, he gives me odd vibes. I think he's more than we've been told. But I like him! Actually scratch that, idk if I like him because he talks to Becky and I fucking HATE Becky.

Cas sticking by Dean... Curious.

WTF HAPPENED TO CAS- WHAT- W H A T - I AM AGOG - I CAN'T- ORGY? I FEAR I HAVE TOTALLY LOST THE PLOT- I feel bad for him though because I can imagine everything it took to get him to that point.

The Colt.

Okay I think I'm getting it now. Sam isn't dead, Lucifer is in him, future Dean is going to use the Colt to kill Sam.

"Are you coming?" "Of course." Castiel... Oh Castiel...

I was right. Sam is now hosting Lucifer.

Future Dean does care. He wants current Dean not to repeat his mistakes. He wants Dean to say yes to Michael. Me personally, I don't think that's answer and I don't think that's what the priority should be. But hey, that's just me.

Hearing Cas talk like this is so weird to me.

Dean willing to use people as sacrifices... Yike.

SAM AS THE DEVIL HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

I love that they have him in all white. Such a good touch.

This scene is done so incredibly well so far. Lucifer in all white, with the red rose between his fingers? If I had any faith in my art skills I'd draw that honestly. I'm loving the use of colour and framing.

Part of the reason to love humans is for their flaws in my humble opinion. I could go on a whole rant on this, I could. I won't. But I could.

The tears in Dean's voice, the look in Sam/Lucifer's eyes ACK.

"You will always end up here" see I could go on a whole theological/philosophical rant here, bring up topics of free will versus fate, quote some Nietzsche, quote some Calvinism, quote some Aristotle or the Mishnah, but y'all ain't here for that so...

"Nah" I love you, Dean Winchester.

Castiel pulling Dean out. Castiel in this season I could honestly write so much about, he's so interesting to me.

HE'S CALLING SAM HE'S CALLING SAM! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I always forget just how fucking tall Jared is. Him getting out of the car genuinely shocked me. Like I'm 5'6, he's terrifying to me.

That was a great ending to the episode, them reuniting. Having each other's back. Yea, they are each others weakness. That's part of being a sibling though. They're stronger together.

In all, this episode was not my favorite. Aside from Castiel, and the scene with Lucifer and Dean in the garden (which did give me garden of Eden vibes, I see you Supernatural show writers), I wouldn't watch this episode. I don't like zombie stories or time travel, and this episode did not break that trend. The last 10 minutes are okay though. That's what I'd watch again. That's what was important to me.

I'm done with Supernatural for today. Maybe I'll watch some more tomorrow. It's supposed to snow overnight, I don't believe that. It basically never snows here. Anyway. Have a great night y'all.

[cute-little-fly]

I think this is true. It was part of Stolas failures.

Explained in other way:

Stolas has a bias towards imps, racism. However, he makes an exception for Blitzø because of the feelings he has for him. He sees Blitzø in a pedestal, and above the rest of the imps as a social class. However; his internalized racism makes him treat Blitzø in a way that feels condescending, but is unintentional from his part. In his mind he sees Blitzø as his hero, rogue assassin etc… and projects his fantasies over him.

I will extend my explanation here:

In his mind Stolas didn’t looked down on Blitzø, be he looks down on imps and Blitzø is an imp. This is an important distinction here. Stolas feels comfortable with imps more than with his own social class because an imp raise him, but he also absorbed the classism, because that was his education. These two things can be true and coexist. Completely true that Stolas seeing Blitzø like this is like a kind of: he is an imp but he is special and different from the others doesn’t remove the subtle discrimination.

Stolas can easily ignore that but Blitzø don’t, and this is the main source of their miscommunication.

Stolas didn’t show to take imps as more as service, why Blitzø would think he was that special? But also, the way Stolas confessed didn’t let Blitzø talk. Then he dismiss him without even letting him think. Stolas decided to believe this narrative that he forced Blitzø to have sex with him, but with that, he undermined Blitzø’s autonomy to consent to have sex with another adult, and his dignity too. B feelings and view of the situation were just ignored. This feelings could go either way, perhaps at the beginning he wasn’t super excited but also wasn’t bothered and did it, but, perhaps even since the first time he also wanted to and enjoyed himself too, and besides with that he was able to have the book, so yeah. (I take the first night they had as a context clue of this because: “real quick” became slept with him all night, and who wonder what they did or talked.)

Either of this can be true, but the thing is, he decided that the situation and the narrative was just wrong and bad, and I think that hurt Blitzø a lot, because he was in denial and in his mind he was just going to the palace, to spent a good time with Stolas without having to think too hard about it. With this he also undermined Blitzø been able to say no. He didn’t let Blitzø talk and decide together what to do going forward, and what it meant, he decided that for him and without noticing he stepped into his autonomy. This is a very subtle way of looking down and this is why Blitzø reclaimed that. So, his attitude even if it came from a good place, and he was very clear with his intentions and what he said, ultimately came off as condescending.

But, again, from Stolas perspective he didn’t looked down on him nor was condescending; because he doesn’t understand anything about how systemic racism operates and for him those things are easy to ignore and dismiss in their relationship. This is a huge issue, by ignoring the elephant in the room he is replicating it. He is also very self-absorbed, which doesn’t help him to see other perspectives. This doesn’t make him bad, just a privileged character that has learning to do about his position in the scheme of things.

(This is like when people say they are apolitical, or when they say that now everything is political and before it wasn’t. This is a lie, is impossible to be apolitical, you will be always replicating the power structure at some way if you think that and even before when they saw things apolitical, people were just comfortably aligned with the status quo. )

Stolas thinking he would be killed just like Blitzø is also part of his unawareness and self-absorption. For the rest of hell, he is a prince and Blitzø is just some guy. He hadn’t time to think for sure, but this thought never crossed his mind, because even if he unknowingly replicates the discrimination, is not a thing he has to think about. Is not something that changes or determines his life, like it is for Blitzø. So, he acts like it doesn’t exist and that ultimately backfired too hard.

This is why I want to see Stolas bonding with MyM so much, because seeing them as people with thoughts, personality and importance like Blitzø would be an eye opening change for him. In the beginning, he saw them as Blitzø’s employees probably the same way he sees his own staff. Now it would be interesting if he starts to wonder who they were? How all the times he ignored them he could have lost the chance to meet interesting people. Seeing them as people, basically, and see how for a Blitzø they are not just staff but a family.

Even if Blitzø is the boss, they are actually very horizontal in how they approach the management of the company and the relationships between themselves. For example, Moxxie will point out Blitzø’s inadequate behavior and that would be normal for their dynamics. This is not something usual. I wouldn’t tell my bosses anything like that. He is the leader and commands, true, but they don’t give him like a respect for his position but as a friend and colleague. So, Idk, I think that being in IMP will reconfigure Stolas complete world view, and how vertical the social structures he has learned are.

(Opinion) stolas hate is based on fandom misinterpretations and not the actual show because when the fuck does he act like a “baby”??

Stolas is probably the most over-hated character in all of helluva boss. And some of the downright incorrect statements i’ve seen about stolitz drive me insane

Despite his childhood abuse, neglect and forced marriage, stolas has always been privileged. He’s set for life with wealth, has butlers and staff who feed him and care for him, and can freely travel through the human realm with no legal issues. Obviously, he’s going to have a skewed perspective on life.

Because of his forced marriage and parental neglect, stolas has never really known what love is meant to be. His father didn’t know his name because he’s a king who has a shit ton of children. Stella never loved him, and he never loved stella. They were only married to have an heir. Stolas has an over-dramatized and romanticized interpretation of love, which i think is where the ‘baby’ misinterpretation roots from. Blitzo didn’t want to fuck him, all he wanted was the grimoire. But stolas didn’t realize this and genuinely believed that his first ever friend was the one who wanted him the most. Can you see how this would fuel his romantic dreams further?

Stolas, to me, was always in love with blitzo. And (hot take incoming) did not look down on him. “But charlie, what about when he said ___?” We can go through all the quotes that supposedly look down on blitzo and i can give my reasoning as to why i dont think he sees him as lesser. Stolas has grown up with imps his whole life (butlers), and it can be argued that these staff had a closer connection to him than his own family. He’s taught to view imps as lesser, as in the hierarchy they literally are, but stolas has no issue with interacting with imps and, of course, letting an imp have intercourse with him. If stolas truly looked down on imps the way people act like he does, he’d interact with blitzo in a COMPLETELY different way. As in, he wouldn’t even treat blitzo like a human. Stolas loves blitzo so much he want to be his partner.

I will say, Hierarchy is a major theme in helluva boss with several callouts to how the ones who are higher up mistreat the lower class. Just look at mastermind. Satan doesn’t let blitzo speak. But andrealphus is allowed to talk as long as he wants. Blitzo would’ve been killed for using the grimoire, but stolas just gets a punishment. Because verbatim “your life has actual value!” It’s such an interesting theme that does not nearly get as much praise as it deserves

Another huge misinterpretation with helluva boss i see is that people think the show is trying to normalize cheating. And i’ll be honest, i can kind of see how this misinterpretation happens. As much as i adore this show, there are some writing flaws.

In my opinion, helluva boss is not trying to encourage cheating on your partners. It’s trying to show you that it’s okay to leave your abusive relationships to better your life. I may talk about this a different time because this post is mainly about stolas but god i love analyzing this show so much i just go on so many tangents.

Of course, stolas’ love for blitzo pisses of Stella. Not because stella actually loves stolas, but because she is proud to be a goetia and wants to uphold her royal, priviliged status and sees stolas as an insult to the goetic line. Her and Andrealphus’s motivation is to uphold goetia standards no matter how corrupt they truly are. They’re rich people. THEY are the ones who see imps as lesser.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I CAN GO INTO. How this affects Octavia and why she is justifiably upset at stolas, blitzo’s perspective, themes of the show, etc. if you wanna see my takes on these things LMK!!! I love this show dearly

If you want to counter my interpretation you’re welcome to do so, however please only do it if you’re wanting to do an actual discussion and not just trying to be rude. Some of y’all are so fucking rude to the people who like the show it’s crazy. Just be respectful and i’ll talk to you.

[boom-butterflyeffect]

Would you be able to write about the reader staying with Josh in the shed and like actually comforting him?

anon i love you

no because he would so desperately NEED it

maybe after chris too has gone back to the lodge with mike, you think it would just be better to stay with him, just to be safe, and despite everything that he's done, it breaks your heart to see him like this, rambling nonsense, his eyes are all wide, he keeps yelling at everyone and he just seems so out of it

just staying sat beside him, patting his knee.

"You're gonna be okay, Josh." it's just a simple reassurance, and you can't tell if he's really listening based on the way he just seems to stare, still mumbling things about you guys being stupid and dumb

"I don't think you killed Jess, Josh." you reassure him. "I don't know what happened with her and Mike, but I believe you, okay?"

this seems to catch his attention a little bit

"I- yeah, no- um- that's not... I didn't kill Jess, I-"

"Shh, shh, I know. It's okay. You were just trying to scare us, weren't you?"

"I-.. yeah- um..." he seems to be calming down as you talk through it with him, just rubbing your thumb back and forth on his knee in a steady rhythm to try and help him relax.

It's like you can see relief in his eyes. But amidst it, uncertainty. He's still visibly not very stable, occasionally muttering things that you can't quite make out, but he's not yelling anymore, or cursing, or insulting people. You wonder if what you have in mind could help him.

"Y'know, Josh, your prank worked. I think everyone was very scared." you tell him. It's a silly, childish, somewhat uncertain little laugh, but it's a laugh that you get from him, much better than all the reactions Mike and Chris had gotten from him.

"Bunch'a scaredy cats." he giggles a little, like a mischievous little kid.

"Mhm, we were. But the prank is over now, right? All finished up? We can go back to looking after each other now, and being best friends."

He seems to think about it, a difficult task given everything currently going on in his head. He just nods. The mention of the prank seemed to dampen his smile a little.

"It's okay. I know you didn't want any of us to get hurt." you say, and he does... start to look a tad remorseful. But it's a slightly off expression, like he isn't too sure how he should feel. Understandable.

The two of you sit there in the quiet for a little longer, and he slowly but surely seems to settle down. He doesn't talk a whole lot, but it's okay. You continue to just speak to him, keep him focused on you, instead of on whatever his brain seemed to be plaguing him with.

Even after everything, he's still you guys' best friend. He didn't do any of it because he's a bad guy. He was unwell. Not the Josh you guys know and love. But you made sure to reassure him that you'd support him and care for him as much as you can. And he listens. He doesn't say much back, but he listens. And for the first time in all this, he seems much more calm.

<3 that's all i can think of rn (i just woke up) but i LOVE josh comfort

also please be aware that i am no expert when it comes to mental health issues or how to deal with them, this is just a fictional scenario written with the intention of comfort, so actions and reactions exhibited by the characters may not be precise to real life behaviours exhibited by people with the same struggles, thank you! <3

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.219 Less strikes again

At some point, I tore myself away from my parents and left the cemetery feeling renewed and happy. On my way back home, I made a detour to the florist. I couldn't leave their graves looking empty and neglected like we didn't care. Quite the contrary. I even bought nice headstones and put portraits on their plots. Too bad I didn't have a big enough picture for grandpa Winston. I'd really love to meet him one day, but I think he may have crossed over already. At least I have tiny pictures at home to look at and see where some of my features come from.

Alessia called, saying she wanted to talk. That meant she needed to get out of the house, so I sent Sophia a text saying I would be back later that night. At first, I thought we'd grab dinner, but Less and I hadn't gone out together in ages. We needed to make it count, so I suggested we go to a bar for old time's sake. We met at The Solar Flare in Oasis Springs, and she began telling me about this man she'd been talking to.

His name is Brent Peters, and he rents a trailer in Oasis Springs. He likes horses, is obsessed with vampires, loves a good argument, and hates smart asses. He also hates comedy, idealists, troublemakers, knitting, and rock climbing. So far, he sounded like a very interesting character, and I wanted to know more. She said in his younger days he had a bit of trouble of his own, often getting caught stealing. He got help, but every day is a struggle to resist that urge. They bonded over their love for athleticism. She thought it was a silly to appreciate, but she loved he didn't mind her being a homebody. Whatever she wanted to do, he was into it, and she loved that. I couldn't imagine Alessia ever changing herself to please someone, but I knew exactly how it felt to be loved and accepted by someone despite your flaws and shortcomings, and I was glad she had that. She said he's loyal to her, and they are taking things slow. As much as I loved to hear that, I still had concerns.

"He sounds wonderful for you, but... Like, how do you know he's not after your money?"

"Luca... I know you're concerned because of what happened last time, but this isn't that. Me and Jase bonded over stupid, meaningless stuff. Brent and I talk about real things. And I'm older and wiser now. But you, of all people, should understand how putting yourself out there involves risks. You moved in with Sophia after one date, and you didn't even want to be in a relationship. But you took the risk. The point here is I'm ready to take risks again. I don't know if Brent is after my money, or if he will kill me in my sleep, or if he'll run off with another woman. I'm still getting to know him, but I don't think he will. But I'll never know unless I try."

I say this every time I'm around her, but she has grown so much, and I love to see it. I still had concerns, but there was nothing left to say.

"Also, I'm moving out tomorrow."

"What?? Why?"

"I appreciate everything you've done for me. And I love how fiercely you protect me. But I need to handle things on my own now. All my life, I've had a safety net. Even when I moved out, I was living with that family. Someone has always taken care of me, and I feel like I owe it to myself, and my children, to be truly independent. I can't teach them what I've never done, so I need to go. I don't want you to make a big deal and throw a party or something. Just let us go quietly, please."

This is just like Mt. Komorebi all over again. She arrives at conclusions super fast and is compelled to action them even faster.

"But... What about the kids? Desi loves playing with them. And I love hanging out with them, too."

"That can still happen! It'll just require more effort now."

"Where are you going, anyway?"

"San Myshuno, for now."

That was the last place I pictured her living. Seems like the hustle and bustle would send her paranoia up the roof. But, renting an apartment is a good situation for her. Even though she wants to be independent, homeownership is a whole 'nother beast, not for the faint of heart.

"I'm gonna miss you, sis. I've really enjoyed getting to know this adult version of you. Can we make sure to do better at keeping in touch?"

"You better, big head."

[anomaliex]

I think Gorgug grows up trying to take up as little space as possible.

I think that as a child, before he was all that conscious of his own decisions, he broke a lot of stuff. That's fine, small children do that and his parents have had him since he was a baby. A huge baby, especially for gnomes. A huge baby that grew into a toddler the size of his parents who's (again, normal and okay) tantrums did actual property damage because he's an orc. They were never mad at him for it, they'd never be mad at a child experiencing big emotions and not yet able to process them or understand consequences, but we know how their families reacted to that. We know that they always saw him as something that would grow up to be a threat.

I think that pretty much as soon as he develops a sense of it Gorgug starts feeling ashamed. He's ashamed of how nothing ever fits right, and of how loud he gets when he's upset, and of how the other kids in the neighbourhood (because it's a small folk neighbourhood!!) get scared of him sometimes, and of how when he has bad dreams he breaks his bed and is unable to control himself, like a baby. There was probably a time where he thought he was really clumsy and he was ashamed of that too, but by the time he turns like twelve Gorgug kind of understands that he's not more clumsy than the average kid, it's just that every time he drops something or bumps into a shelf it'll do so much more damage than if anyone else he lives around were to do the same.

(And his parents are talented tinkerers but sometimes their work is so delicate and all he ever does is wreck things. He doesn't dare touch it no matter how much they try to share this passion with him — eventually they assume he just doesn't like it and they would never force him to do something he doesn't want. Gorgug doesn't let himself discover how much he enjoys it until sophomore year. I wonder if he regrets all those years he spent fearing the possibility of ruining things and depriving himself of something he ended up loving.)

(And he was never "stupid", it's just that all he ever thought himself of was a brute so he never entertained the possibility of his own intelligence until faced with it. He didn't know he could thrive academically so it wasn't something he ever considered committing to. He literally just played bloodrush because he was good at it, not because he liked it. He just thought he had to, and he thought math is something he couldn't possibly do. Why try?)

Entering Highschool Gorgug is very shy, and he doesn't really have friends. Adults always like to blame the latter on the first, but sometimes it's the other way around and sometimes it's a vicious cycle. Sometimes you're six years old and none of the kids in your elementary school class are anything like you but you desperately try to fit in until you slip up and show them how much of a freak you are one time (I think he got mad. I think he broke a table. I think someone cried. I think maybe there was a teacher who was so much smaller than him and looked at him as if he were something to be feared. I think that in that moment he decided that he is. Or at least his rage, maybe.) and then you never get to have friends again and you shrink in on yourself and you don't understand how anyone else does it — it's not even that you're scared you just don't understand, and maybe you just want to be alone. And then a happy outspoken child grows into a shy teenager because they don't have any friends.

I think Gorgug is careful. He is so gentle and empathetic and kind and he is so careful because every time he isn't something breaks. And every time he raises his voice someone is scared of him and all he ever wants is people to not be afraid. So he hunches over, and he stands in the corner, and he scoots to the very edge of the bench so you don't have to sit too close to him, and he takes every insult to his face without fighting back lest he'll get upset and despite all his fucking efforts all it takes is one asshole to take it too far and he feels himself snap and all he wants to do is break something and hurt and twist and kill. And that scares him. He doesn't allow himself to be angry (and as wonderful as Digby and Wilma are they don't understand. They don't understand that he has to be, that he has to let it out some time.) so he bottles it up and every time it explodes out of him he doesn't know how to handle it other than to swing his axe and kill maul bite snarl kill.

But then, his adventuring party seems to not mind his rage, or his size, or his freakish strength. If anything they seem to like it, or at least respect him for it. He's never considered doing something like music before because that's for talented people and it's art and he doesn't do art because his hands are only good for destruction, not creation. Right? He does the music anyway. It's nice because there he's allowed to be angry on the drums and no one thinks it's weird.

He meets a girl that finds his rage attractive and he was scared that he'd scared her but he didn't. Ragh becomes one of his dearest friends and maybe for the first time Gorgug looks at a raging (half-)orc — all snarling and panting and bearing his teeth and twitching at any sound or scent — and doesn't find himself appalled because all he sees is someone that's fighting to keep him and his friends safe. And oh, maybe it's okay to be enraged.

I think he grows into a young man that doesn't love being angry but stops hating it too. He likes, in a way, that he gets angry over the right things, and he likes that being angry enables him to protect those he cares for. In the end his rage is a survival instinct and it's good to be alive. That leads to him, for a while, only accepting his rage as something that's fine to express in combat, and if it's outside of combat then only to his friends. There's still this need to make himself palatable, to tone himself down so everyone stays comfortable around him, but that also fades eventually.

During junior year he does finally come out of his shell enough to just express his anger the second he feels it. I think it is liberating and it's also the scariest thing he's ever done, and he went through a forest that made him confront his deepest fears already. (And that's exactly what it was. The inconvenience to his parents, the fear it strikes in others, the rejection it brings, the way it seems to reduce him to a weapon or maybe a wild animal and to some people including parts of him means he absolutely cannot be an intelligent or loveworthy person. He's always been afraid of his own rage.)

I think that if a younger Gorgug could see his older self snarl at one of his friends for making a joke about his parents' lawnmower, with his tusks fully grown out and muscle finally starting to fill out his clothes a little, so strong and so dangerous and so unashamed of it, he'd feel no relief and only horror. I think acceptance is something that feels alien to him right up until he suddenly achieves it.

[luciusdaskel]

OMG??? An in-depth analysis sprouted from my in-depth analysis??? Gah???? I never caught on to the whole "good kid" side of it! Thank you for bringing it up!! Actually thinking on it now, it makes so so much sense. Not only that, I think other villains (specifically LBD) knew or guessed about that trigger. I recall LBD using MK's need to be good (driven from Macaque's grooming) against him, so he'd be manipulated ON BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN. And you're right, the past 9 eps and special never once really praised MK, unlike Macaque. I have seen, and full heartedly believe, a theory that Wukong was groomed by Azure Lion as well. We don't see much but that would explain Wukong's emotional distance/lack of complements and lack of touching support, something Macaque used against the two of them. But that's a separate theory altogether.

I fully understand MK's insatiable thirst to be a good person, even it it kills him. No clue if I had a Macaque in my life but I fully get where MK is at through the show. At first just wanting to do it for fun and possibly even just for the glory then it devolves into a need not a want. When you don't get that praise then it becomes a dark hole that only gets bigger until it swallows you whole. Which it nearly did for MK.

Side note, the part of being numb to the grooming could also just be a side effect of the original grooming BUT also possibly a negative from Redson being a villain turned friend. I mean... think about it, you want NEED to be good and also there was a crisis. If he doesn't help Redson, the world could be taken over and or his home city is gone, but if he does help Redson then he could risk being hurt like he was with Macaque but there's a chance that Redson actually means well and therefore if my first enemy can be good and like me then maybe I can be good enough for that other enemy too?? This type of spiral can be subconscious, even if consciously the person says they don't want that person in their life, that abuser still created a irreparable hole. Especially when this void literally only appeared likely a week in advance.

I'm not saying that "Oh Redson being redeemed is bad for MK" but what I'm saying is that without anyone actually adressing Mac's grooming from then, it lead MK into a possible negative side effect that made him hopeful or numb to Macaque's grooming. I'm just trying to see it purely from MK's eyes with the lens of him being groomed. Hm... maybe I should analyze Shadow Play and season 3's Macaque episode. I wonder what nuggets I could gather from season 4... I mean by that point MK out right calls out Macaque for being him feel like shit because of his lessons. Which is valid and really is true when you consider 99% of MK's self-esteem and identity issues really started because of Macaque.

Getting a bit personal here, I am currently in my own emotional hole where I crave someone's validation. Validation I will never get and that hurts and only makes me crave it more by the day, even as I scream again and again that I hate him and I do NOT want him. It hurts, a lot, and I can recognize the effects and what it's doing. The reason I got into psychology is to help people, because if I help people then I feel better with this black hole inside of me. I will do whatever it takes to help someone even if it hurt the ones I do care about and even ruin my own health.

I believe it's called a savior complex and it sucks. So I know exactly how MK feels in the show and not really in the best ways either lol- Not meant to be a vent but just showing my own feelings to express MK's feelings. If that makes sense-

Also LMK rewrite project??? Sign me up!!! Let me know if you'd like help or not, I love being able to help with things and or gathering information or ideas to add to the table!

I didn't hold back here because I didn't know I even could hold back lmao- I just saw it and knew I had to share everything. Sorry for the ramble, I just love your analysis on top of mine!

Macaque Episode Analysis ramble

So I was talking with a friend about the possible psychological and therapeutic take aways from each episode of Lego Monkie Kid, since I love Psychology as a whole, and came to a conclusion. Macaque's episode has a fuck ton of things to analyze. Such as - Not every role model you meet will be a good person Trust your teachers Don't push yourself too hard otherwise you'll get hurt, manipulated and possibly die (let's be real, Macaque would've killed MK if Wukong didn't step in) And, grooming They will all be covered as I explain the episode in depth. When MK first meets Macaque he thought he was Wukong but even after Macaque declines, MK still had stars in his eyes of pure admiration. He clearly looks up to Macaque since he was just as cool if not cooler than Monkey King. Within the very next second Macaque started the process of grooming, after a tiny test to see how strong MK's admiration was. "[...] I thought uh Monkey King was training you. [...] but you can never have too many teachers, I'm sure Monkey King would agree. [...]"

Then Macaque starts to train MK. This shows the duality of Wukong's more MK's current strength and capabilities training versus Macaque's more destructive and dehumanizing training. With Wukong's "Patience and focus, step into the strike", clashing with Macaque's far more brash "You don't use a weapon, you ARE the weapon." This is effective at isolating MK from Wukong and his teachings because MK feels like he is actually powerful now.

As Wukong says, MK's body isn't strong enough to handle the power. This applies to real life too. If someone tries to weight lift something too heavy for their skills, they could get seriously hurt. This is the just magical equivalent of weight lifting. But because of Macaque's influence, MK fights back and isolates himself from Wukong, his trust worthy mentor. This leads Macaque to his final part of his plan, lure MK into a trap with his full hearted trust in him.

Then Macaque finishes his plan by stealing MK's powers. Let's be honest, with how things were going and by our impression of Macaque in this episode, Macaque would have likely killed MK if it weren't for Wukong. OR left MK to die with the staff pressing him against the moutain. What can we gather from this? Well, first and foremost, MK's admiration made him an easy target for manipulation, and what resulted was MK nearly dying from the ordeal. Check for "not ever role model will be a good person", since Wukong is ALSO a role model, but a good one because he doesn't literally groom MK. (More on that in a minute.) Wukong was right and MK does what he taught him then admits his wrongs by the end and opens up on why, which Wukong responds with "Hey, your heart is in the right place, kid. We can work on the rest." MK learned to trust Wukong when he was teaching him something because ultimately that's what saved his life. I'm not saying trust EVERY authority figure, but one that is teaching you something that you trust and know will not hurt you. Get yourself a Wukong for your MK. Macaque's training has lasting impact on MK, making him feel like he needs to give himself up for others. Before this episode, MK never had the need to sacrifice himself or really seemingly blamed himself for anything. Macaque's dehumanizing training left MK with lasting damage to his mental health and also led to MK not being able to pick up the staff, granted that was after Macaque gut-punched the power out of him.

Ouch...

So, I hear you ask, "Ok, you made your point about various things, here but what about grooming? That's a bold word." Yes, it IS a bold word, especially considering the fandom space being primarily for children. However, I will clarify that grooming does not only apply to sexual circumstances.

This is from the official Canada public safety about child grooming. Notice the none sexual tactics.

"Make promises of a better life" - Promises to make MK stronger/a better fighter/hero

"Cause divsion saying "your parents are too strict" or "your parents don't understand you"." - Macaque says "Other people are going to tell you to be patient. They are slowing you down." to directly conflict with Wukong's training, further dividing MK and Wukong.

"May threaten or pressure your child to do what they ask, which could lead to sextortion." - Might not be explicit but it is implied MK had some minor doubts by the end of the training and was literally pushed into battle. Also he threw MK into the weapons rack on their first session, showing that MK was "weak" and prompted him to take up his implicit challenge, his trick. It's unclear if Macaque ever threatened MK while training, but I doubt it and he just pressured him and manipulated his drive and determination.

One that people might argue is "Approach your child online by pretending to be someone they're not - may falsely identify themselves as a person from school, or someone their age, to build a connection." but I believe it applies. - Macaque comes in creating a show with his own kaiju form, either to make himself popular or to attract MK or Wukong. Regardless, he seemed uncomfortable at first but once he prompts up "But you can never have too many teachers", that's when he starts creating a false identity, a trustworthy teacher who knows better than Wukong. That's also neglecting the fact Macaque pretended to not be that smoke demon.

If that's not "pretending to be someone they're not", then I'm not sure what is. Also for specifically adult grooming,

More signs I feel apply are;

"The person becomes withdrawn, or they may seem troubled by something but unwilling to talk about it. Alternatively their emotions might become volatile." - When Wukong points out MK has been running around other mentors, MK sounds calm and cold, like he was withdrawn. Then when Wukong presses on, MK yells at him and doesn't talk about exactly what was bothering him other than "You just don't like that there's someone who actually teaching me what I need to know."

"You notice them using or wearing something new, that you didn't buy [or teach] for them." - I added teach because Wukong points out he never taught MK how to break a wall like that, and was concerned and upset that MK learned that too quickly. Within that same scene, after MK yells at him, that's when Wukong notices the new symbol on MK's jacket and frowns. That's when he knows MK is being groomed, and by who.

"Groomers often aim to isolate their targets from their family or friends." - Well, we never see Mei, Pigsy, Tang, or Sandy in this episode, after the first meeting and they act like MK was gone for a month or more (could easily be a week lol). On top of that, Macaque was causing a divide between MK and Wukong. MK was very clearly pretty isolated already, and so Macaque just had to remove MK for MK's full reliance.

"The person might be spending more time on the phone, or online, than usual. But they won’t say what sites they’re visiting, or who they’re talking to." - This speaks for itself, but it's likely MK was training more and more with Macaque than being around his own friends, especially considering by previous point.

This video goes into great detail on how it happens, why the victim is manipulated easily, and what it does to someone. Granted this video is about a long-time grooming, but I believe the point and the awareness stands. If Macaque had been grooming MK for about a year or more, I feel MK would be closer to these signs than he is in the cannon LMK. Anyways! I hope you had fun with my analysis, and let me know if you'd like more! I love to just ramble about the psychology of certain characters or the takeaways of LMK episodes! I'd love to do Wukong, Macaque as a whole (not just the episode), MK, Xiangliu/Nine mayhaps?? Or even the Focus episode or something else- I have a minor analysis on the focus episode already in my head lol

[astrylx]

Supernatural S.5 Ep.2 - Good God, Y'all! - Liveblog

Welcome back welcome back, let's get started liveblogging. This appears to be a somewhat Castiel centered episode based off of the episode summary, and that makes me happy because his character really intrigues me!

Dean is struggling with the idea of Bobby not being okay it seems. Which I can understand. It's never easy to deal with the struggles of a parental figure, and we've seen how everything with John impacted him. I can understand why he just wants everything to be okay.

The X-Rays of the ribs are really cool. Is it bad I kind of want a scene where when can see the actual ribs, not just the X-Ray of them? Like, one of the brothers gets their chest carved open? I just really want to look at those ribs and study them...

Cas is cut off from Heaven. That's what I expected after what happened with the archangel. I do feel bad for Bobby though, because I know he was counting on Cas being able to heal him.

"I'm gonna find God." That's. Yea. Maybe some people on tumblr need to take one from you and do that too (I SAY JOKINGLY)

Seriously though, you know how a few posts ago I said moments in this show make me feel sacrilegious? That's the start of one. Not that I can't watch religion based shows, or shows that satirize and criticize elements of religion, but sometimes there are moments they make me, as a pretty religious person, feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Castiel not understanding sarcasm, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE-

Watching Castiel lose his faith, have to kill his brothers, only for Dean to criticize his desperation, oh Castiel you are a stronger man than I am, Dean would be on the FLOOR by now.

"I did all of it for you" I know what you are I know what you are I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

The necklace Sam gave Dean is basically a God metal detector? I love that- I knew it was going to be relevant. I'm honestly surprised he's giving it away so willingly.

ELLEN!! I missed her. Very glad to see her again. She seems mad at them. Does she know? Does she know they started the apocalypse? Oh never mind, she was holding it safe because they were outside.

Dean doesn't trust Sam... That's what this is about. Ouch.

Demon blood... I fear this won't end well. It's not that I don't trust Sam or believe in his strength but... Please don't do it, it's not worth it. Please, Sam. The scene is done really well though. I can see the distrust in Dean's eyes. I don't like seeing that look.

To Dean, Sam shoving him was basically proving his point... Ouch I don't like these episodes, I don't like what they're doing to me. I don't like seeing Sam and Dean fighting.

Wait I'm confused. Jo's eyes are black but she seems to think Ellen is possessed?

Sam is kidnapped. Why do I get a feeling they're going to uh... donate some blood, so to speak...

Wait what? I'm actually very confused right now. They seem to think that Sam and Ellen are demons, but are they not demons themselves? What is happening?

Oh I get it. Someone/something is manipulating the situation. Making them think the other is/are demons. I'm wondering about this dude.

The four horsemen- That makes sense that makes sense! I'm a little disappointed I didn't get it to begin with...

The horseman toying with Sam, calling him out on how he wants blood. Jared's eyes are so emotional in this scene, I normally hate eye contact but I'm actually struggling to look away. The slight tremble in his facial muscles, I always adore this kind of acting and Jared is doing it so well.

Okay so they cut his fingers off and got the ring, where did War go? How do they destroy it.

OH IS SAM COMING CLEAN? He is- Oh Sam...

No- No this can't be the end- They can't be separating- No- I hate this-

Fuck. I was expecting a Castiel episode and instead all I got was an emotional wreck. This fucking sucks.

I don't know if I can handle this season, this is hurting my feelers.