#so a lot of the times a big reason these voice performances are very different is they're likely being directed by different people

[thebicanary]

.

[its44intheehouse]

pairing: lewis hamilton x Wolff!fem!reader

author’s note: GOD this might be awful but please keep in mind that it’s my first story and english is not my first language :) WILL most probably go through major adjustments.

summary: in which her father, Toto Wolff, has always told her to stay away from the young drivers. He never said anything about the older ones though…

warnings: 18+ smut/nsfw, masturbation(f), oral sex(f receiving), fingering, cursing, size kink, unprotected sex, squirting, creampie, age-gap, praise kink, bit of choking.

Being the daughter of a Formula 1 Team Principal never failed to be exciting.

Always VIP treatment, lots of traveling to beautiful countries, numerous job opportunities and getting to meet famous people. You were always grateful for your privileged life but never took advantage of it in a selfish way, although you enjoyed the things it had to offer from time to time. You always refused being treated differently just because of your status. You just weren’t that type of person. You liked working for the things you desired. Your adventurous side always loved a challenge, and that was also the thing your father admired and feared the most about you.

He always encouraged this side of you, ever since you were a kid. If you wanted to learn how to skate, he’d buy you a skateboard. If you spontaneously wanted to spend the next 3 months away from home in another country, he’d book your flight. One day you showed up at his office to show him your first tattoo. You always said you’d never get a tattoo, you didn’t think it would look good on you. But one day you randomly found yourself in front of a tattoo salon and couldn’t resist the curiosity. Your father was never a big fan of tattoos, but he laughed anyway, called you crazy and snapped a few pictures of the tattoo before sending them to your mom.

Toto didn’t have a lot of rules for you. He always told you “Just don’t get yourself in jail, maybe.”. But the most important and unwritten rule was “never involve yourself with the young drivers.”.

He thought they were immature boys and walking red flags, although he deeply respected them for performing in such a dangerous sport as Formula 1. You, on the other hand were never interested in any of them anyway. You befriended a few of the drivers, sometimes partied with them, but no one really caught your interest. No one besides Lewis Hamilton.

Lewis was your father’s most prized possession in the team. 7 times World Champion (or 8 if you ask me), a genuine person, an expert in what he was doing and the best he could get.

Lewis Hamilton emanated power everywhere he went. He always took his work and image very seriously, always told it as it was and his charming personality never failed to impress everyone in the room. Even the drivers looked up to him, hoping to one day be as great as him. Your first encounter with him was when you were only 15 years old, and to say that you were immediately intimidated by him was an understatement.

The nervousness you constantly felt when you were around him was originally a reaction to all the things you heard about the driver. But as time passed, you found yourself intimidated for others reasons. Maybe it was because you were a teenager and your hormones were going crazy, or because of all the books and fanfiction you used to read at that time, but you couldn’t take your eyes away from him anymore. Everything about him drew you in. His tall and muscular body, his numerous tattoos that gave him a dangerous and playboy vibe, his soothing but rough voice adorned with the most beautiful british accent, his braided hair and smooth skin… That man was basically sex on legs. One of God’s finest pieces.

He instantly took a very protective role in your life. To him, you were basically a child, especially due to the big age-gap between you. But you were also his boss’s daughter so he naturally felt the need to protect you.

Now, at 23, you managed to keep a close friendship with the driver. He was always there if you needed advice for something, always there to rant to about your crazy life and always there for a good time. You spent a lot of vacations with him and his friends. Went to a lot of road trips, skateboard dates, dinner or breakfast dates, countless movie nights, sometimes just the two of you. And although your crush on him never went away, in fact the adoration and attraction only deepened, he not once tried anything with you. He always kept things friendly between you two, decent.

And it frustrated the shit out of you. Sometimes you would catch him staring at you, or even touching you for a minute longer, but never more than that. And you slowly began losing hope that one day he’d see you as more than a friend and his boss’s daughter.

————————————————————————

It’s Friday night. Since you didn’t have any plans for today and were bored out of your mind, you decided to call Lewis to ask if he would go out with you tonight. He apologized and told you that he wasn’t really feeling like doing anything crazy tonight, but insisted that you could come over and spend time together, maybe watch a movie or something. You accepted immediately.

So here you were now, 1AM in his living room, with your head on his lap and eyes closed. You didn’t mean to fall asleep really, but your fucked up sleep schedule was beginning to take a toll on you, making you doze off at very random times. Plus, the way his hand was mindlessly running through your hair felt too good.

You slowly open your eyes when you feel Roscoe licking at your hand. With a groan, you try to sit up and take in everything that’s going on. How long have you been asleep for? “Suits” is still playing on the TV, the room is almost dark except for the light of the television, Roscoe is sitting by the couch, looking back at you with his tongue hanging out, and Lewis is on his phone, probably reading through his emails.

“Thought you’d never wake up.” He chuckled, locking his phone and throwing it on the couch.

“I’m so sorry, Lewis.” You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands in hope of getting rid of the sleepiness and the headache you just woke up with. “I didn’t mean to, lately I’ve been having trouble with sleep. Maybe it’s because of school, I don’t know. My schedule doesn’t really allow me a healthy bed time anymore.”

He looks worried as he reaches out to you, shaking your arm a little.

“You can sleep here if you want. It’s late, you’re obviously very tired. I don’t want you driving back home in this state.” He proposes.

“Yeah? I can?” You chuckle, placing your hand on his. Your stomach flutters when you feel his soft, warm skin.

He looks rather angelic in the low light. His eyes are shiny but tired, his lips look soft and juicy, and his body is comfortably spread on the sofa.

“You know you can, bunny.”

Bunny. He loves to call you that. Ever since you were a teenager, he’d always call you that. You found it cute.

“Okay, then. Can I borrow some clothes, though? These jeans aren’t the most comfortable thing in the world to be honest.” You say, getting up from the couch.

“Yeah, sure.”

You follow him to the guest room. The bed looks cozier than ever, and you quickly find yourself hopping into it, groaning at the feeling of the comfortable and soft mattress. Lewis laughs and leaves you for a moment, but comes back a few seconds later, throwing some clothes on the bed beside you.

“Got you a shirt and some pants. But I’m not sure the pants are gonna fit though. You’re… a lot smaller than me for sure.” He spoke, crossing his arms to his chest. “Sorry.”

“No, Lewis. It’s all good.” You giggle, waving your arm lazily. “Thank you.”

You take a moment to look at him again. He has a soft smile on his face and his body is leaning against the door frame, the dim light in the room accentuating the muscles in his arms. He looked huge. And delicious.

Jesus.

“Good night.” He gently whispered. You say it back and then he finally leaves the room, leaving you all alone. And frustrated.

With a deep sigh, you grab the clothes he gave you and inspect them a little. A simple tie dye t-shirt(he loves these), and a pair of shorts, probably the smalest he had in his wardrobe. And they still looked big. Making a decision, you throw the pants on a chair and only keep the t-shirt, then start to change out of your clothes.

Once that was done, you floop back on the bed and check your phone real quick, before turning off the lights and pulling the blanket over your body.

————————————————————————-

You woke up sweaty. With a groan, you quickly pull the covers off your hot body to try and get some air. Your hair is sticking to your forehead and the massive headache you just woke up with already makes you irritated.

Stretching your body a little, you reach for the phone sitting on the nightstand to check the time. 4AM.

“God dammit.” You curse under your breath, rubbing your face with your palm.

You could feel the faint smell of Lewis’s cologne on the t-shirt he gave you. Le Labo’s Rose 31, his favorite. Biting your lip, you bring the material to your nose and inhale the scent. A moan almost escaped you. You could basically feel him, it was like he was in the room with you again. And that definitely didn’t help your current state.

You start wondering what he might be doing right now. He’s probably sound asleep, spread on his king sized bed with nothing but his boxers on, quietly snoring, like he always does. You wish you were there to see him. Admire him. Touch his skin.

Subconsciously, you let your hand travel down your chest and under the shirt, touching at your hot skin. A shiver hits you, and you curiously start to feel around your stomach with your fingers. With eyes closed, you imagine Lewis touching you like that.

It wasn’t unusual for you to think about him like that. But in your defense, you just couldn’t help it. Everything about him felt masculine. His energy, his body, his voice, his gestures. He was basically the man you always dreamed of having, even for one night. You always wondered what he would be like in bed.

Maybe he’d whisper softly in your ear, call you “sweetheart”, take his time on making you feel good, praising you for how good you are for him. How good you take him. Or maybe, he’d manhandle you, make you do whatever he asks, put you in any position he wants while choking you with his big arms and mockingly slapping your face, degrading you for being such a whore, as his cock would slide in and out of you at an abusive pace, making your juices drip out of you with every deep, harsh thrust.

You don’t even remember the exact moment your fingers started rubbing your clit through your panties. You were definitely soaked, the wetness making a faint noise everytime your middle finger would flick at your pussy down to your enterance. A needy whimper escapes you. You needed more.

With the other hand, you quickly grab at your boobs, softly massaging them one by one and pulling on your sensitive nipples. It was all too much but still not enough. The material of your panties was drenched at this point, so you quickly moved them aside.

Circling your awaiting hole a few times, you insert a finger inside slowly.

“Mm, fuck.” You moan, hiding your face into the pillow so you could hopefully hide the sounds you were making.

You imagined Lewis doing this to you. Sitting between your thighs so he can have a clear image of your creamy pussy as he is pumping his fingers in and out of you. He’d have his mouth on you from time to time, sucking your clit harshly and moving his tongue from one hole to the other. His deep brown eyes would never leave your figure, trying to take in every single inch of you and memorize it, so he can always remember how desperate and ruined he makes you.

“Such a pretty pussy. U’re doing so good for me.” He’d praise.

The squelching sound of your cunt momentarily takes you off the trance. Your hand is wet and you’re working one more finger inside of you now, as your other hand desperately rubs at your sensitive button. You can’t believe you’re doing this in Lewis’s house, especially when his room is so close to yours, but you shamelessly don’t care enough about that right now, not when you’re so close to your orgasm.

“Mphh, Lewis…” You cry out, eyes shut.

As your back arches off the mattress, you start scissoring the fingers inside your pussy faster. You gasp for air as your legs begin to shake violently, your swollen clit throbbing uncontrollably. You moan louder than expected as you come all over your fingers, and the thought of Lewis hearing your needy sounds almost excites you more.

After a few moments, you remove the fingers from your pussy. You needed a shower so bad, maybe it would wash away the shame you were feeling at the pit of your stomach. Were you too loud? Did he hear how pathetic you’ve been, just from his scent and a few scenarios of him fucking you with his mouth and fingers?

Sitting up, you scrunch your face in disgust at the feeling of your drenched and cold underwear. You curse in your head for not taking them off early on. What the fuck were you supposed to wear now?

Deciding to swallow your shame, you finally get up from the bed to make your way to the bathroom that was connected to your room. After washing your hands twice with the expensive soap bar, you look into the mirror to see just how messy you really were. Your cheeks were flushed, your mascara was smudged, skin was glowy with sweat and your hair looked like a bird nest. Basically, it was as if you had just taken part in a gangbang.

With a sigh, you take off your panties and run them through the water, trying to wash away the sin you had just committed. Getting lost in thoughts, your stomach almost startles you as it begins to growl loudly. The little amount of energy you had left and now you felt hungry, and incredibly thirsty. Balancing your options, you wonder if you should leave the room to go get something to eat from the kitchen. Your panties were still wet and you couldn’t imagine wearing them now, but you knew you’d never be able to fall asleep again if your stomach constantly demanded food. Plus, drinking tap water was never an option.

“Fuck.”

Slipping your underwear back on, you inspect yourself in the mirror a little and pull on Lewis’s t-shirt, making sure that it covers enough, just in case.

The whole penthouse is silent as you walk to the kitchen. A few lights are still on, but that’s just how Lewis prefers it. You assume Roscoe is in his room fast asleep as well, because you don’t run into him on your way. Opening the fridge, you immediately grab a bottle of water and place it on the counter, before scanning for some food. The indian takeout boxes were really calling your name right now, so you grabbed two of them before closing the door with your foot.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You almost drop the boxes from your hands when you hear his voice. Turning around, you find him staring at you, with a little smirk on his face.

“You almost shit your pants, bunny. Did I scare you?” He laughs, approaching you.

“Jesus, Hamilton. Almost gave me a heart attack, could’ve died right here on your kitchen floor.” You exhaled, dropping the boxes on the table and placing a hand on your chest, trying to see if your heart was still beating.

“I’m sorry. Won’t do it again.” He chuckles and briefly massages your shoulders, before pushing past you to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. After he takes a few sips, he speaks again. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” You bite back, drinking from your own water, almost gulping down the whole thing.

The thought of what you just did a few moments ago creeps into your head again, and you suddenly wish the ground would swallow you. What if he heard? You get self conscious remembering that you’re only wearing his shirt and your destroyed pair of panties that were still wet and uncomfortable, so you pull on the hem to hopefully try and cover yourself as much as possible.

His top lip twitches for a second, then he smiles and shrugs. “Was thirsty.”

He looked absolutely delicious now, with nothing on but a pair of grey shorts and his braids down. His abs were shining underneath the dim lights, and all you wanted right now really was to drop down on your knees and lick them. You couldn’t look further down though, you feared you might pass out if you saw the imprint of his dick in his pants.

You had the opportunity to take a peek, though. Multiple times. Especially on race weekends, when he would just grab his dick in his hand and struggle to readjust himself through the racing suit before hopping in the car. You knew he was big. You fantasized about how he would feel on your tongue, heavy and large. About how he would fuck your throat rough, making you choke on his cock. About how he would hardly be able to slide into your tight, warm pussy, but when he would finally make it, he’d rip you apart with it until you were left a crying, overstimulated mess.

“Why are you so red, bunny? Are you ill?” He asks, furrowing his brows.

When you finally snap out of your filthy thoughts, he’s already in front of you, checking your temperature with the back of his hand, looking concerned.

“N-no.” You almost sound unsure, your voice cracking a little.

“No?” He shakes his head, cupping your flushed cheeks in his hands.

You couldn’t make eye contact with him, even though you knew he was intently watching you. He was so close that there was almost no space to breathe anymore, and you couldn’t take it, so you hesitantly backed off.

A cheeky smirk was plastered on his face though, and he quickly looked you up and down before grabbing a fork and digging into the food left on the table. You just stood there, petrified. No thoughts behind your eyes.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” He spoke again.

Well, the hunger disappeared, that’s for sure.

You shake your head then clear your throat. “Not hungry anymore. I think I’ll just go back to bed.”

“Hm.”

He doesn’t say anything after that, so you grab the bottle of water and make your way past him, whispering a “good night” softly. After a few seconds, he speaks again.

“Maybe this time you’ll be able to get some sleep instead of moaning my name while you’re touching yourself.”

Your stomach drops. Maybe you’re imagining things. Maybe you’ve gone crazy. But there’s no way this was happening right now. This can’t be real.

You’re stuck in your place for a few moments, calculating your possibilities of escape. Throwing yourself out the window sounds like a good idea now. But you feel cornered, and you can’t think of what to do or say. You were doomed, for sure. But you choose to play dumb instead, so you anxiously turn to him and speak.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been asleep the whole time.”

He says nothing, and that worries you even more.

Then he throws the fork in the sink and finally faces you. He lifts his eyebrows and leans on the counter, with his arms folded to his chest.

“No, you weren’t.” He spoke. “Come here.” He gestures with his hand.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you decide to listen to him and get closer.

“Please don’t tell dad.” You beg. There was no point in denying anymore. He knew.

He chuckles then, and furrows his brows, looking at you funny. God, you just wish all this would be over already. It felt humiliating.

“You think I’d tell Toto about how his daughter is pleasuring herself to the thought of me?”

His words come out as a whisper as he carefully moves a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I don’t know…”

“What were you thinking about?”

You finally get the courage to look into his eyes then. You’re not sure you heard him right.

“What?”

“I think you heard me just right, princess. What were you thinking about when you had these pretty fingers deep inside your pussy?” He asks, lifting your hand and pressing a few kisses to your fingers.

A whine almost escapes your mouth while you’re watching it happen. You’ve never heard Lewis talk like that, especially towards you, and it both sexually frustrated you as well as made you impossibly shy. A deep shade of red is present on your face and you seriously don’t know if you should just risk it all and tell him about your little fantasies or act dumb about it.

“Y/n”

You snap out of it. “I-I don’t know what to say, Lewis. This is so humiliating.” You sigh deeply, covering your face with your hands.

“Hey, hey.” He shushed you, pulling you into his arms. He smelled so good, and his skin felt hot pressed against yours, even with the t-shirt you were wearing as a barrier. “No need for that, bunny. It’s just me.” His words come out as a whisper as he is moving his hand up and down your back. “…Just us.”

Lifting your head slowly, you look into his eyes and bite your lip. This was all you ever wanted. For him to want you back. And now that he finally hinted that he might be into you in that way, had you at a loss of words and action.

Fuck it, you thought. It’s been too long. Too much time spent on secretive glances, crushing, overthinking, masturbating to the thought of him. Maybe you could finally get something out if it.

“I was thinking of you… Touching me.”

“Good girl. How was I touching you, hm?” The praise goes straight to your core as his head falls to your neck to press a few wet kisses, and you swore you could die right there on the spot. His hands squeeze your waist a little before traveling down to your ass, massaging patiently, waiting for you to respond to his question.

You moan at the action, getting lost in the feeling of him touching you like that. In a second, he lifts you up by your thighs and you unconsciously wrap your legs around his waist. He sits you on the counter then positions himself between your bare legs. His warm hands touch the insides of your thighs, making your breath hitch. You still can’t believe this is happening.

“You look so good in my clothes…” He mumbles, lifting one of his hands to your shirt and squeezing your skin a little. When he reaches your breasts, he squeezes harder.

“Mm… Lewis…” You whine pathetically, waiting for more.

“That’s what you were moaning a few minutes ago, baby?”

You look up to find him staring at you intently with his teeth pulling at his lower lip. His eyes were darker, full of lust. You enjoy having him like this, you realized. A man, the man you dreamed about, about to pleasure you.

“Yes.” You confess sincerely, batting your eyelashes at him.

“You’re such a naughty girl…” He whispers, touching your soft cheek with his finger.

His other hand starts wondering further underneath your shirt, and you find yourself opening your legs wider, waiting desperately for his touch. You can feel one of his fingers pressing against your clit only a few seconds later, and you can’t help but moan already. He rubs tight, circular circles on your sensitive button and groans, pushing your body back. You lean back and let him lift your legs on the counter.

“Shit, bunny. You look so delicious right now."

He reaches the band of your underwear and pulls on it urgently, leaving you bare in front of him. Normally you'd get self conscious everytime a man saw you naked, but for some reason that wasn't the case now. The desire to have Lewis eat you out was much bigger than any insecurity you may have. You grow impatient already just thinking about it and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing. He notices.

“I’m going to eat this pretty pussy.”

“Please.” You say immediately, eager to feel his tongue on your most sensitive spot.

He pulls you closer to the edge of the counter and gets on his knees, holding onto your shaky legs. You played this scenario in your head over and over again so many times, and you craved to see it finally happen. You really need to see him.

Standing up a little, you think you might just pass out. There he was, propped between your legs, licking a fat stripe of your pussy. He makes eye contact then and moans, connecting his lips to your puffy clit and sucking, hard.

Your body twitches on instinct and you whimper, pushing your needy pussy into his face. He moans and starts licking up and down your cunt, pushing his tongue inside you from time to time.

“Yes… Just like that.” You manage to say.

He’s hungrily lapping at your cunt like he hadn’t eaten in days, collecting all your sweet essence with his eager mouth. You can’t help but yelp a little when you feel two of his thick, long fingers pushing inside your tight pussy. It stings a little, but he doesn’t let you adjust, instead he pushes them deeper and curls them, making your eyes roll and your jaw drop.

“Oh my god." You gasp, arching your back so hard that you think it might break in half. His mouth is still attached to your sensitive clit, pressing torturous licks on it.

He pulls away a little bit, looking at how his two fingers push in and out of you, all shiny with your juices. His darkened eyes were glued to your pussy, like he was hypnotized by the sight. And he was. Suddenly, his eyes snap to yours and you think you’d never seen something hotter in your entire life.

“Look at you, baby… Hear the sounds your pretty pussy is making for me? You’re so fucking wet.” He humms and gives your puffy clit a sharp slap, fucking his fingers faster inside you.

You scream his name, like you always dreamed of doing. You’re desperately trying to hump his hand to get more, already feeling the familiar tightness in your lower stomach building rapidly. He doesn’t like that, so he quickly pushes your hips down with his free hand, keeping you in place. You don’t get to protest, because then he curls his fingers right on your g-spot, having your body tense immediately. You’re almost breathless and trashing your tiny body on his counter, and when he gets his hand on you and starts to flick your clit with rapid movements, you know you’re done for.

“That’s it. Cum all over my fingers like a good girl.”

You don’t hear anything for a few seconds after that. Your ears are tingling, your toes are curling and your whole body is shaking violently. Your orgasm washes over you in an instant, your pussy clenching down on his two fingers.

While you’re busy trying to catch your breath, he doesn’t stop. He continues to fuck you with his fingers, a bit slower now, and he reattached his mouth to your pussy, licking it slowly.

Feeling overstimulated, you immediately jerk away from his touch, twitching uncontrollably.

“N-no… too much!” You whimper, pushing his head back.

“Mm.” He slowly removes his fingers, and you feel yourself clenching around nothing. He’s chasing a trail of cum that your pussy is pushing out with his tongue and moans. “Such a sweet pussy. Sweetest I’ve ever had.” He praises.

You don’t say anything. Mostly because you can’t. Your whole body feels like jelly, still shaky from the powerful orgasm you just had. But you knew he wasn’t done with you yet. No, he gets up and grabs your chin forcefully, smashing your lips together. You can taste yourself on his lips and it makes your head spin and your pussy leak. Again.

When he finally pulls away, he takes a moment to look at your fucked out expression and humms, licking his lip.

“Was it good, bunny?” A smirk creeps out on his face.

“Yes…” You reply, the shyness taking place in you again as you batt your eyelashes at him.

“Good…” He whispers softly, tugging slowly on your bottom lip. “God, I want to fuck you so bad right now.”

God, the things this man makes you feel. He just fucked you stupid with his mouth and fingers and now he wants to fuck your pussy? It had to be a dream.

You want to take advantage of this moment for as long as you can.

“Fuck me, Lewis. I want it.”

The way you just look up at him so innocently but so seductive at the same time, with lips swollen, slightly messy hair and smudged mascara, makes his dick twitch. It isn’t the first time he’s rock hard for you though. No. You never knew this, but he had his eyes on you too. For the past few months, at race weekend, everytime he’d see you, you’d have him losing his mind. Walking around in short skirts and crop tops, or those lovely sundresses you adore so much. It made his dick throb, and he had to make up some excuses a few times just to run back to his driver’s room and touch himself. But he wasn’t only attracted to you because of those things. Your energy captivated him completely, and he knew he wasn’t the only one dreaming about having you. He wasn’t blind, nor stupid. He saw the way the other younger drivers or random people in the pit crew looked at you. How they smiled at you or tried to make you laugh, subtly touching you. It made him feral.

Toto was his boss. They go way back. Lewis admired your father, in many ways, and the bond they formed through working together was tight, for sure. He knew about the stupid rule he had for you, about dating or messing around with the drivers, and he respected that. Up until recently, when he started looking at you in a different light, and the rule suddenly frustrated him deeply. He never had a problem staying away from you. The need to protect you was the only thing on his mind. Then he started to finally see you.

How smart you were, how much joy you bring when you walk into a room. How everyone stops to look or listen to you when you talk. How adventurous you are and openly emotional without a care about what other people might think of you. The way you’re always there for people, the warmth you possess. Your unintentional seductiveness. Your charm.

Now, he had you exactly where he wanted. He wasn’t sure at first if he should tell you that he heard your sweet sounds when you masturbated to the thought of him, but he became desperate. All he needed was confirmation that you felt the same way about him as he felt about you. And he got it. He wasn’t gonna let you slip away this time. And he was done thinking about how complicated the situation is with your father.

Grabbing at your hand, he helps you get off the counter. You look at him confused, scared that he might realize that everything was a mistake and he’d changed his mind. But the thought quickly vanishes when he starts kissing your neck and nipping at your skin, lifting your shirt with his hands.

“I’m not gonna fuck you in a kitchen. My sweet baby deserves a bed, no?” His raspy voice sends goosebumps on your skin and you nod, letting him walk you backwards to his room, as he finally manages to get rid of the only material left on your body.

When you get to his room, he carefully pushes you on the bed, with him on top. The cold air in the room hits your sensitive flesh and makes your nipples harden. Licking your lips, you raise your head from the soft pillow to look at him. His gaze is darkened and his bottom lip sits between his teeth, pulling at it desperately, like he was trying so hard to keep his control. You wanted him to lose it. All of it.

“Please, Lewis… Fuck me. Wanted this for so long.” A whine escapes your lips and you pout, caging his body between your legs as your legs wrap tightly around his torso.

Your confession made him groan. He wanted to keep this moment in his memory forever. How needy you are begging for him to fuck you, how pretty you looked all spread out on his bed, with your hair tousled on his pillow, your lips puffy from his kisses and your eyes glossy and dazed.

Finally, he gets rid of the shorts he was wearing, pulling them off along with his boxers. You're left speechless as you shamelessly stare at his very erect cock. It's thick and you can spot a few angry veins almost popping, running up towards the head. It's standing proud and tall glued to his pelvis, almost reaching his belly button, and it has your mouth water.

He notices how you stare at him with your cheeks flushed and your lip between your teeth and smirks, tapping your thigh a few times to get your attention.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"It's so big..."

"Yeah? Never had a real man before, princess?" He asks, raising your leg to his shoulder and pressing soft kisses on your soft skin while maintaining eye contact with you.

You shake your head timidly.

"Gonna make you feel so good. You trust me?"

"Yes." You respond immediately, squirming under him.

"Just hold on for a sec. I gotta have some condoms in here." He lets go of your leg and leans towards his nightstand to search for the condoms.

"W-wait." You stopped him, pressing a hand to his chest. You were anxious when your next words left your lips. "I... I'm clean, and on birth control, so if you want, there's no need for that."

He turned his head to look at you and stopped in his tracks.

"Want me to fuck you bare, bunny?" He reached a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and looked at you lovingly, with a grin on his face.

"Mhm." You mumbled, nodding your head. "If that's okay with you, of course!" You rushed the words out.

"I'm more than okay with that." He hummed, caressing your hip with his thumb. "Come 'ere."

He pulled you lower on the bed and leaned forward, gripping your cheeks and smashing his lips with yours. He kisses you slow at first, taking his time to taste you. Then, as his hands start to explore your naked body, it turns wild. You feel dizzy as you wrap your hands around his neck to bring him even closer and your hot bodies stick to each other. It feels so intimate, you've never experienced something like this with someone before. His erection is standing right between your legs and it makes you raise your hips eagerly. You want him inside already.

"So eager." He whispers and smirks, pulling away a bit.

You glance down and lick your lips as he lines himself up, watching him tap your clit a few times with his cock, then pushing his head through your sensitive folds to collect all your juices. It sends jolts of electricity through your body and you whimper, spreading yourself a bit more. When he finally slides in, it's so overwhelming that you let your mouth hang open with a loud moan. The stretch is stinging a lot, but there's another sensation that comes with it that makes it so pleasurable at the same time.

Lewis watches you carefully and stills his movements, to let you adjust to his size. Your eyebrows are slightly furrowed as you try to relax as much as you can to accomodate your thight walls around him. Once you feel the pain diminuate a bit you nod your head, letting him know that he can move further.

He slips in a little more then and lets himself moan at the heavenly feeling of your bare, tight pussy squeezing him tightly.

"Doing sooo good, baby. Taking me like a pro." He praises, moving your damp hair out of your face.

He bottoms out inside you and you whimper. He's so deep that you could swear you felt it in your stomach, but you want more.

As if he could read your mind, he slowly pulls out a bit then pushes himself inside again, making you let out tiny mewls and moans as you got to feel every ridge and vein of his cock. Lewis humms and buries his face in your neck, leaving wet, hot kisses all over it before going down to your breasts and taking one of them in his mouth and swirling his tongue around your hard, sensitive nipple. He starts to thrust his hips in a steady rhythm while taking your other breast in his mouth and all you can do is arch your back and whine, overwhelmed by the intense feeling.

"So fucking tight." He hissed, leaning back to grab your thighs and lift them on his shoulders, the new position allowing him to hit your spot better. You felt so full of him, and you were ready to cry from the pleasure.

"Lewis." You let out a loud moan and touch his abs, scratching them as he suddenly surprises you with a rougher pace that makes you roll your eyes back and let out a cry.

“Shit.” He curses, groaning when he feels your pussy clench around his fat cock. “Thought about fucking this pretty pussy every single day lately. And now look at you, all fucked out on my bed.”

His words make your head spin. You had no idea he thought about this just like you did, so many times.

“Y-you thought about me?” You manage to ask between moans, looking down for a second to catch a glimpse of his dick sliding in and out of you at a fast pace.

He went in for a messy kiss then pulled back a little, looking at you with half closed eyes. “You have no idea.” He mutters, grabbing your neck softly.

The sounds in the room are intoxicating. It’s filled with heavy breaths, moans, skin slapping repeatedly and the filthy sound of your impossibly wet pussy getting filled to the brim by Lewis. Your gaze is locked with his and it feels like there’s just the two of you left in this world. Nothing matters anymore. Not your dad, not your age gap, nothing. It’s so intense and intimate that it almost has your heart burst out of your chest.

Your thighs are trembling as he folds them to your chest, and your hands are frantically searching for something to grip onto, while incoherent sounds are dripping off your lips.

“You wanna cum, princess?” He asks, smirking down at you.

“Yes! Yes, please please don’t stop.” You beg, shaking your head as short screams leave your mouth.

He’s quick to drag a hand down to your pussy and starts rubbing your clit harshly with his thumb to force your release. The added pleasure makes you pulsate rapidly around his cock and you find yourself arching your back off the mattress again, struggling to breathe as your orgasm is nearing quickly.

“Come on, want you to make a mess on this cock, baby. Can you do that for me?”

You nod your head pathetically and yelp when he pinches your swollen clit, letting out a loud cry as your orgasm washes over you. It hits you so quickly and so violently that it makes your breath get stuck and your eyes squeeze shut while your legs are uncontrollably shaking. Your juices are dripping down Lewis’s cock and onto the mattress underneath you, and it’s a sight to die for as he watches it all happen.

“Good girl. Did so good f’ me.” He coos, but doesn’t stop the movements of his hips, although he slows down a bit to let you come down from your orgasm.

When you open your eyes to look at him, you find him already looking at you, with an enamored expression on his face. His hand is softly caressing your thigh while he is admiring the post-orgasmic glow of your skin.

Soon enough, he is picking up his pace again and you whine in discomfort and overstimulation, furrowing your brows.

“Can’t. Please. Can’t.” You squirm underneath him.

“You can, baby. Come on, just a little bit more.”

Using his arms, he spreads your legs wider so he can have more access to you. His thrusts quicken again and his fingers attaches themselves to your clit again, pressing into it in circular motions. You were squeezing him so tightly that he could barely move inside you but he pulled through, ramming his hips into yours with brutal force, trying to chase his own release.

“Oh.” You gasped and glued your eyes down to where your cunt was greedily sucking him in. Your milky essence is visible at the base of his cock and the sight is downright filthy.

“Fuck.” He grunts, also watching where you two are connected before he lunges towards you and grips your neck more tightly and yanks you forward a bit. You prop up on your elbows and look at him with wide, doe eyes, moaning uncontrollably. “Where do you want it, bunny?”

“Inside!” You respond immediately, placing one of your hands around his wrist. “Want you to come inside me. Please.”

Your eagerness to take his cum inside your tiny walls makes him shiver with enthusiasm. His tip hits your g-spot with every powerful snap of his hips and it made you part your lips in bliss. Lewis takes the opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth, kissing you messily. You suddenly start to feel a different kind of pressure at the pits of your stomach and you wince, pulling back from the kiss.

“Lewis… I think there’s something wrong. Feels different.” You slurred, your eyes widening in fear.

“It’s alright, baby. I’m here. Give me one more, yeah?” He grunted, flicking at your clit with his palm rapidly.

The bed is moving with the rhythm of his aggressive thrusts and you feel your muscles contract and twitch with every move. You’re fluttering around him desperately as you scratch down his back with your polished nails and he moans deeply.

“Fuck. Gonna stuff this cunt. Come on, come for me. again, baby.” You know he is close by how much you can feel him throb inside of you.

With a particularly sharp thrust your orgasm washes over you, and you scream, letting your back fall on the mattress as you squirted, your juices making a mess on both you and Lewis. The sight makes him burst instantly and he groans, throwing his head back while he stills inside of you, pumping you full of his cum.

You’ve never done this before. I mean, you definitely heard of squirting, but no one was ever able to get you to this stage. You quickly become self conscious. What if he didn’t like it? What if he found you disgusting now? Terrified, you look up to him only to find out how wrong you were. He is already looking your way, with a huge smirk on his face.

“Look at that. My girl squirted all over the place.”

You blush deeply at his words and cover your face with your hands, but he is quick to grab them and pin them to the bed around your head.

“Why are you hiding? What’s wrong?” He chuckled, amused by the childish action.

“I… I’ve never done that before.”

“Did it feel good though?” He asked with a smug grin.

“Mhm…” You bite your lip and writhe slightly, making him moan at the sudden movement.

He carefully pulls out of you and leans back on his heels, only to see both of your releases slowly drip out of your cunt. He humms and brings two fingers there to massage around your hole, and then he pushes them inside, fucking the cum back into you.

You whine and he stops, looking back at you.

“Wait here for a second, hm? I’m going to draw you a bath.”

You nod and thank him quietly, watching him lovestruck as he gets up from the bed, collects his boxers from the floor and pulls them on, then disappears to the bathroom.

Few minutes later you’re both in the tub, your back is pressed against his chest and your eyes are closed in relaxation while he is lazily running his hand through your hair.

Even though the silence is comfortable, you can’t help but start to overthink. What was he thinking about? You didn’t necessarily think he regretted what you did, but what did it mean? Was he going to ghost you after that? Act like nothing ever happened? You wouldn’t judge him, especially considering the situation with your father, but you hoped that it wouldn’t be the case. Part of you was convinced that he wouldn’t just leave you in the dark like that. That wasn’t Lewis. Could never be Lewis. But your insecurities are still eating you alive.

Then he takes you by surprise again by reading your mind. “What are you thinking about?”

“I was actually wondering what were you thinking about.” You chuckle, leaning your head back a bit to look at him. God, how can this man be so beautiful?

He smiles softly and nuzzles his nose along your cheek, pressing a sweet and tender kiss to it.

You let out a breath and sigh, closing your eyes at the sensation. “I was just asking myself… what now, I guess.” You shrugged, with a heavy heart.

He furrows his brows and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. “What do you want?”

You gulped and licked your lips, looking at him through your lashes. “I want you.”

“Then you have me. And you know I want you too. But it’s going to be a lot more complicated than that.” He whispers to you and you feel your heart drop on the spot, afraid of what he might be insinuating.

Noticing the broken look in your eyes, he quickly places his hands on both your cheeks and leans forward. “What I mean by that is, that we should be careful. I know keeping things a secret isn’t healthy, but giving the circumstances, I don’t think it would benefit either of us right now if someone found out about what we have going on. I promise that it won’t last forever, I would never keep you a secret, but for now that’s just the way things are.”

You take in his words. You know he is right. And you’ll take anything as long as it means that he’ll be finally yours. Even though the thought of keeping a secret like that, especially from your dad, makes you feel uneasy. But you’re so ready to give it a shot, just for him. What if everything turns out alright in the end?

“I know. And I understand.” You nodded, closing your eyes and pressing your lips against his in a tender kiss.

When you pull back, he gives you a quick wink and a smile, tapping the inside of your thigh lightly. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

big question. i'm cis (afab) and my gf is trans (amab) and i'm sorta having a hard time reconciling something. i've been a hard line feminist since i was about 8, by 12 i was a practical library on everything and anything womens lib. i'm spending a lot more time around trans people especially my gf now and i'm sorta struggling to reconcile the trans experience with my feminism. like- i'll see trans women being like "i hate my body :(" "my voice is awful" "i need [x thing to try to pass] ugh" and like my first thought is always "NO! THATS HOW THEY FUCKING GET YOU!!! THE PATRIARCHY WANTS YOU TO HATE YOURSELF SO YOU ENSLAVE YOURSELF TO CAPITALISM AND LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF NEED FOR NEW PRODUCTS TO WARD OFF THE EVER PRESENT SELF HATRED BROUGHT ON YOU BY SOCIETY" and they go "well then how do i pass/transition?" and i honestly don't know and i also don't know how far it goes before its no longer dysphoria but instead the intentional subjugation of women by patriarchy for profit. i wanna help my fellow ladies but i honestly don't know how to like- apply the feminism i was taught as a child to trans women and i want to learn as soon as possible so that i can start doing it like yesterday

hi there,

I'll be honest: if it feels hard to apply the feminism you learned as a kid to your trans friends, that's probably because the feminism you were taught didn't have trans woman in mind.

luckily, the answer to this is something that I consider to be feminism 101: what a woman does with her body is, ultimately, her fucking business.

listen: I agree with you that the beauty industry(TM) is evil. it's misogynistic, it's exploitative, it thrives by making women feel bad enough about themselves to make them spend money on shit they don't need, etc. we all know this.

now, having said that: women who like makeup or wear heels or get laser hair removal or whatever other asinine thing are not my oppressor, nor are they my enemy. dare I say, we have bigger problems.

we also need to consider that many trans women are coming to these choices from a VERY different place than many cis women are. while I think my fellow cis women really benefit from reminders that they're allowed to stop shaving or wearing eyeliner or dieting or whatever, that's because most of us have had those actions forced on us from very young ages and may genuinely need a hand to feel secure breaking out of those behaviors.

the majority of trans women are not coming from a background where they were encouraged to partake in the same personal grooming habits and modes of presentation as cis women; many of them have, in fact, been ostracized, bullied, threatened, and otherwise hurt because of forays into forms of presentation that are considered feminine. no matter how good your intentions may be, approaching your advice indelicately can, unfortunately, make you come across as no different than any transphobe on the street trying to enforce cisnormative societal expectations. it also must be said that, for many trans women, the ability to "pass" is a matter of security - for having their status as women recognized at all, and to avoid harassment and abuse in public spaces. if you live in America, like I do, politicians in power currently have an extremely explicit anti-trans agenda that can make it harrowing to be visible as a trans person, and trans women in particular are frequently targeted for violence.

there are absolutely critiques to be made the way the many trans women are expected to perform hyperfemininity. the notion that someone is duty bound to drastically change their appearance in order to transition at all is itself extremely rooted in cisnormativity, and "passing" is often contingent on being young, thin, able-bodied, reasonably wealthy, and hewing as closely to Eurocentric standards of beauty as possible. that's not awesome! but that's also not the fault of any individual; no trans person asked to be born into a world where gender norms are so narrow and failing to pass can come with a very real risk of physical danger.

also, if I can circle back to this: again, women who participate in aspects of the beauty industry are not our enemies. there are always going to be some number of women who enjoy doing their makeup or like spending time fussing over their little outfits or want breast implants or whatever. some of those women are going to be trans. my official feminist stance on this is that I don't give a shit, because I believe in bodily autonomy even when it involves things I would not do personally and the choices that individual women make about how they want to style their little meat body don't even crack the top 100 things that I'm worried about right now. it's actually kind of vitally important, politically, that trans people be able to safely pursue their preferred gender expression; while it's not particularly revolutionary for a cis woman to go outside all dolled up, whether a trans woman can do that safely is a pretty basic litmus test for how safe a given space is for queer people. it's a ridiculously low bar, and many places will still fail to clear it.

so, yeah, I don't know, dude. be there to talk to your trans girlies if they want to start unpacking some of the pressure they feel to conform to a very rigid idea of womanhood, but whether or not they can walk down the street in your neighborhood safely is a WAY bigger issue than whether they decide to do voice training or not.

if you really want to cut to the root of the insecurity and vulnerability that the beauty industry thrives on exploiting, your time is much better spent working to ensure the trans women in your life feel safe and supported and have a community where they can find support regardless of how they look.

necessary disclaimer I'm a cis girl, any transfemme folks please share your voice here and feel free to clap my ass if I've said something out of line.

[starsenha]

[12] FIRST IMPRESSIONS - just choreo

synopsis: riki was a big fan of your group Devilish, but when he met you for the first time, he made a very bad first impression and now you hated him. rumors started to spark saying how you hated each other and to calm the rumors, the company decided to make you two hosts a variety show together for two months. wc: 2k tw: lots of sexual tension

You arrived at the brightly lit practice room of Hybe Entertainment. You hurried a bit, the clock showing 10:03pm. You were three minutes late. Your bag slung over one shoulder, and your usual determined and focused expression on your face, even if you were exhausted. It was a hectic week with Devilish as you were preparing for your upcoming comeback. Yet, here you were, late at night rather than resting, obliged to rehearse this chore for the variety show. The production team thought it was a good idea to use both your and Riki's talent in dance and do a little choreo section in the next episode. Like you both already hadn't enough on your plates.

As you pushed open the door, the familiar beat of Under The Influence by Chris Brown resonated in the room as you saw Riki rehearsing the chores. You both received the demo just this morning and from what you saw, he almost had it down already, the same as you. He noticed you arriving in the mirror and stopped the music, offering you a cheeky grin.

"You're late,' he teased, walking over to grab his water bottle.

You dropped your bag near the corner, rolling your eyes, but a hint of a smile was playing on your lips. "3 minutes. I literally just got ut of practice with the girls."

"Oh please, I just finished practice too. Don't find excuses," his playful tone didn't irritate you as much as it used to, which honestly surprised you. But you guessed it was probably because of your actual conversation you had with him a few days ago.

You smirked slightly at his comment, pulling out your phone to glance at the choreo notes one last time. Your smile didn't go unnoticed by Riki, who felt his heart skip a beat for some reason.

"Did you have time to watch the demo?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as he could.

You nodded. "Yeah. I'm genuinely surprised they went with something so...suggestive."

He chuckled. "You and me both. But hey, it's a chance to show our chemistry, right?"

"What chemistry?"

He placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "Ouch. You wound me."

You couldn't help but let out a soft laugh. "Let's just get started."

The two of you moved to the center of the room. You had studied the routine on your way here, but performing it in person was completely different, especially with him. You first started by reviewing the chores without music, trying out the formations and steps to make sure you were in complete sync. It was a bit intricate and required you to actually have cohesion.

When you reached the first section that required physical contact, Riki hesitated for a split second before tilting your chin upward with his fingertips. The action was quite brief but charged. Your breath hitched a bit unexpectedly as you realized just how close you were to each other, your eyes locking onto his. When he stepped around you as the choreo demanded, you felt a little pang of disappointment. What was happening?

"Too much?" Riki asked, a playful glint in his eyes as he noticed your reaction.

You scoffed, masking your unease by being a bit defensive. "I'm fine. It's just choreo."

The suggestive sections were next, and you could feel the heat of the room intensifying. He executed a sharp hip thrust while you popped your hips in perfect sync.

"Wow," you heard him mutter under his breath, but loud enough for you to catch.

"What?" you asked.

"You're actually really good at this," he admitted, his voice genuine, even if you caught him checking you out a bit in the mirror.

You blinked for a moment, a bit taken aback. "Uh, thanks. You're pretty good too."

"Pretty good?" he raised an eyebrow, feigning insult. "I'm incredible. Best dancer of 4th gen, and you know that."

You chuckled, swatting his baseball cap to pull it down ever so slightly. "Yeah, yeah sure. let's not get carried away, okay?"

He chuckled, too, and put his cap up a bit. You went through the choreo several times, doing it with music too. After a few times, you plopped down on the wooden floor, leaning back on your hands and catching your breath. You could feel the thin sheen of sweat on your body. Across from you, Riki sat cross-legged, chugging water from his bottle, and you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to his Adam's apple going up and down as he gulped. He then wiped the sweat from his forehead with the hem of his shirt, exposing his defined abs. You quickly looked away, pretending not to notice.

"That wasn't so bad..." you muttered, reaching for your own water bottle.

"We aced that," he said with a boyish grin, and you couldn't help yourself but smile as well.

You both laughed and talked a bit, the conversation flowing quite naturally between you two. You found yourself actually having a good time, the way you bantered a bit too made it interesting.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Riki cleared his throat, a hint of nervousness creeping into his expression. "Hey, uh...can I ask you something?"

You raised an eyeborw, curious. "What?"

He figedted with the hem of his shirt, avoiding your gaze. "Do you...maybe...want to exchange numbers? You know, since we're gonna be working together for a bit, we might wanna talk about schedule or...stuff."

You tilted your head, surprised. He was alwyas so confident and playful but he seemed quite shy now. It was almost, cute? "Sure,' you simply said, pulling out your phone.

His face lit up as he handed over his own phone. Your fingers brushed briefly during the exchange, and you felt a spark you quickly ignored. As you entered your number, he watched you with a small smile, trying not to make it obvious how giddy he felt.

“Here,” you said, handing his phone back. “Don’t text me at three in the morning or something. I need my beauty sleep.”

“Noted,” he replied, grinning. “I’ll make sure to only annoy you during waking hours.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at your lips. For a brief moment, you caught his gaze, and the air between you shifted. 

“Ready to go again?” You asked, breaking the silence as you stood up.

“Always,” Riki replied, his voice steady, though his heart was pounding.

You moved back into position, the track starting up once more. The choreography demanded precision and a level of intimacy that made the room feel smaller, hotter.

At one point, you decided to shed your oversized button-up, leaving you in just your sweatpants and a cropped tank top. You were completely oblivious to the effect this had on Riki, who suddenly found it difficult to concentrate. The way your tank top clung to you, revealing toned arms and just a hint of your midriff, made his throat dry.

Riki tried to focus on the choreography, but his eyes kept drifting to you. She’s so fucking hot, he thought, mentally scolding himself for letting his mind wander. He had to stay professional, but it was getting harder by the second.

You, on the other hand, was too engrossed in the routine to notice Riki’s internal struggle. You were, however, hyper-aware of your movements, the way your bodies seemed to naturally sync. Your styles complemented each other perfectly. It was like you were made to dance together, and the realization only added to the crackling energy between you.

As you reached the section where Riki had to tilt your chin, he hesitated for just a fraction of a second before doing it. His fingers brushed against your jaw, sending a shiver down your spine. You met his gaze, your lips parting slightly as you tried to steady your breathing.

You moved into the next section, the one with the suggestive grinding. You rolled your hips in sync with him as his hand rested on your shoulder, and you avoided his intense gaze in the mirror. The mirrors reflected your chemistry, the way your bodies moved as if drawn to each other. You tried to ignore the way your pulse quickened.

“Good,” You muttered breathlessly as you finished the sequence. “That was better.”

Riki nodded, though his focus wasn’t entirely on your words. He couldn’t stop staring at you, the way your hair clung to your neck, the flush on your cheeks. You looked incredible, and it was driving him crazy.

“Let’s run it one more time,” you said, your voice firm despite the growing tension.

“Yeah,” Riki replied, his tone slightly husky. “One more time.”

And you did. You ran it one last time, but as the music faded into silence, you and Riki stoof in the center of the practice room, your breaths heavy, your bodied inches apart. It was your best run through yet, every moment was perfectly synchronized.

Your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch your breath, your eyes locked on his. There was a look in his gaze you coudln't decipher, something that made your stomach twist in ways you didn't want to acknowledge. Your mind screamed at you to step back, but your feet refused to move somehow.

The tension was thick, alsmot suffocating and you both were hyper aware of hos close you were right now. He could feel the heat radiating off of you, and you could see the way his chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took. You hated how your pulse quickened and how your body was reacting to him.

He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering down your lips before snapping back up to your eyes. His hands twitched at his sides as if he was fighting the urge to touch you in any sort of way.

Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he would hear it. You wanted to remind him that this wasn't allowed, that you both had some sort of dating ban to respect, but the pull between you was way stronger than logic.

He took a step closer now, and your faces were so closed that you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. Your eyes flickered to his lips and you hated yourself for it, hated the way you leaned ever so slightly, as if your body had a mind of its own.

Riki's hand hovered your waist, hesitating, as if he was giving you a chance to pull away of you wanted to. But you didn't. Your eyes locked, and in that split second, the outside world disappeared.

He leaned in, his movements slow, deliberate, as if he was afraid to scare you off. Your heart raced as you felt the barest brush of his nose against yours.

Your lips were a breath away from touching when a sudden noise shattered the silence—a loud thud from somewhere outside the practice room.

You jerked back as if you'd been burned, your eyes wide with panic. “I—” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. “I need to go.”

“Yn, wait—” Riki reached out, but You were already grabbing your stuff, your movements frantic.

“Good, uh... good practice today,” you said. Your voice was steadier now, though your heart was still pounding in your chest. “See you Friday.”

Riki stayed rooted in place, his hand falling to his side as he watched you flee. You pushed open the door and disappeared down the hallway, leaving him alone in the empty studio.

Riki ran a hand through his damp hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. His chest felt tight, his mind replaying the moment over and over again. He wanted you so, so bad.

The only sound in the room was the faint hum of the air conditioning, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him. Riki sat down on the floor, his head in his hands, and whispered to himself, “What the fuck am I doing?”

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TAGLIST: @pkjay @d-dilemma @heartheejake @lunaritex @dreeki @inishij @rikirritated @whoiss4m @sleepyxxhead @aanniikkaa @right-person-wrong-time @aespaqq @starry-eyed-bimbo @nerdywitchcrown @yuniesluv @lovestruck-sky @ariluvssssss100 @rei4sunoo @wildtigerlili @jakef3ver @seungminsapuppy @kittsnewera @regalfox @rairaiblog @pairinnn

[backwards360]

tell me about your headcanons about the cultural differences between layers plss

- your favourite sister ever

takes a deep deep deep breath. hello niki. my beloved sister. my favoritest sister ever.

the noob layer (before the evil champion)

very very community oriented

block parties (get it) are really popular!!

a lot of sharing and stuff going on

music!! music is a really big thing!!

accent sounds a bit like theyre singing, almost like theyre dancing with words!! they dont pronounce their vowels fully!!

the noob layer (after the evil champion)

community??? no chance, everyone dies before you get to even know their name (which is why evbo never bothers asking anyone)

really the only sharing they do is when someone is sick or theres a child and occasionally family units share food

cannibalism. yeah. its normal for people to go insane, the noobs probably refer to it as some kind of curse or something bc thats fun

the pro layer (before the evil champion)

everyones neighbors!! less community oriented than the noob layer

more focused on helping each other get better!! regularly helping each other learn fun new parkour things

their accent is kinda like. how do i explain this. their voices tend to be softer and tbh i wanna say they sound like a weird mix of southern and british. dont ask questions.

i dont have much for the pro layer if yall have fun things hand 'em over

the pro layer (after the evil champion)

music is HUGE here between moral boosting events and also playing songs for parkour !!

community oriented but more in the way where family units stick together and everyone else is like. a coworker. like you might be friends and occasionally you might get close with someone but like. ehhhhh

mostly just like. yeah i work in the same general area as this guy

the fighter later (before they were banished)

this layer has the most people because its so hard to rank up so its the one with the most stuff going on!!

libraries!! this is the layer of scholars and shit!!

theres so many people here that the masters come down and hang out here a lot too!!

this is where everyone learns things, theres no schools on the other layers because everyone has the chance to rank up !!

this ones just fun, its got a mix of everything because its the most populated \o/

they have a fun accent i think, tbh i wanna say its similar to new york? idk

the fighter layer (after the banishment)

devoid of basically everything that made it what it was

the most sparsely populated now

everyone is hostile as fuck, by the point we see it in canon everything's been combed over tens of hundreds of times so if someone sees someone else its safe to assume one of them is getting mugged

unless its a seawatt situation but whatever

some bonds still remain and theyre as strong as ever now

everyone either has fashioned masks out of their clothes or just has the most fucked up throat from the frequent sandstorms.

the master layer (before the evil champion)

not much going on up here!! they normally hang out on the fighter layer

huuuuuge showoffs but like in a fun way!! performances!!! wow!!!

theyve got a bit of twang in their voice i think bc yes.

the master layer (after the evil champion)

showoffs but in a bad way

big on spreading rumors

really reclusive, never visit lower levels or each other

battling is common for any reason, the more people youve defeated in a battle the higher up you are on the social ladder

ok heres some!! i hope u like it it took me like 45 minutes to write all this bc i kept getting distracted

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

23. i gave my all (written)

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"Why are you so smiley?" Yeji asks, looking at you with an expression you can't quite read. It's almost as if she knows something you don't.

"I'm excited! I wrote this song and had a lot of fun doing it and the guys loved it." You say while brushing your hair, for some reason you want to look pretty tonight.

"So it's not about Yeonjun being there?"

"He was there last time," you try to defend yourself, " it's really not that big of a deal "

"I'm just saying," she smiles at your reflection in the mirror, "there's nothing wrong with liking someone."

"You think I like Yeonjun?"

"Doesn't matter what I think, but I feel like you need to hear it. It's totally fine if you like him, it's been amazing to see you all smiley and glowy again."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask genuinely confused. Sure, you'd been kinda off after breaking up with Sunghoon, but you wouldn't say it was that serious.

"It's been years since I've seen you this happy. You were fine with Sunghoon, but you weren't sparkling. Now, I'm not saying Yeonjun's like your soulmate or something like that, but you do have fun with him and there's just this aura around you... I'm probably not making any sense, but I just wanted to remind you that it's okay if you have feelings for him, or anyone else for that matter."

You want to ask why the sudden urge to say those things, but her phone rings and, judging by the big smile on her face, it probably is Felix so you smile at her and try to forget about it for the time being.

Getting ready to perform is still new to you, there's just so much going on and you can barely catch up. You can't be more grateful for the two idiots with you who, surprisingly, always seem to know what they're doing.

"Everything okay?" If there's one thing you've noticed about Hyunjin is how caring he is. He may always seem to be distracted or uninterested, but he's always looking out for those he cares about.

"Yeah," you try to sound convincing, "I'm just nervous, I guess."

"If you get anxious on stage, it sometimes helps to focus on something... or someone."

There's that same smile again. Hyunjin and Yeji are definitely on to something, but you don't get to ask about it before Jisung tells you to get going.

The view from the stage is one you'll never get used to. It's fun, of course it is, and you have a great time playing pretend with Hyunjin and Jisung, but you definitely feel way more comfortable being on the other side of the camera. This many people staring at you makes you feel anxious. You scan through the crowd, and see Sunghoon with Somi; he smiles at you awkwardly. You don't find in you to return the smile, but you do nod in his way.

And then you see him. Yeonjun is, just as he said, in the front row, next to his friends who are also cheering for you. You really appreciate Soobin's and Heesung's presence there, although you've just met them a handful of times, they look excited for you. However, you can't take your eyes off of Yeonjun.

Is it-

"You can do it!" Says Jisung with a hand on your shoulder.

Suddenly, you're more than aware of Sunghoon's eyes looking at you. It doesn't make sense for you to feel this anxious, you've done this a couple of times before and it was easy. Maybe because the first time you were pissed, and the second you were just a messenger for Hyunjin's feelings. Trying to sing something you wrote on your own was very different.

You're about to turn around, but you notice Yeonjun trying to catch your attention and gesturing for you to breathe deeply. You do as he tells you, mimicking his movements, and then you're unable to look in any other direction.

"Hi, everyone," your voice almost breaks. "We're still nameless but I'm sure you know my friends here so yeah. This is yet another original song and I'm personally proud of this one so I hope you enjoy it..."

You still feel weird. It's true that you already put an end to any negative feelings you had towards Sunghoon, but this is for you; for all of the months you spent wondering what you did wrong, for the time you lost blaming Sunghoon, for the guilt you felt, for your anger, your sadness, even your happiness. It's true that Sunghoon wasn't meant for you, that you've always worked better as friends, that he hurt you, that he made you happy, that he was there. This is a goodbye and a thank you.

And, still lost in someone's eyes, you think that maybe this is also a hello, a way to welcome new things to your life.

The song ends and your friends cheer, even Sunghoon smiles and, surprisingly, Somi looks like she's having fun. You don't stop to question anything. A sudden urge to see someone takes over you and you find yourself running to get off the stage and straight to someone, but something great in your way.

Minho is standing in front of you and he seems sad and apologetic. Under different circumstances, you'd feel bad for him, but right now you just want to see someone else.

"Can we talk?" he asks grabbing your wrist so you don't go away. "Please."

You don't want to waste time, and neither do you want to be cruel.

"You have five minutes."

"I'm sorry. For everything. I genuinely thought I was looking out for you, but I didn't have the right to tell you who to be friends with."

"No, you don't have any right."

"I want us to start over. I haven't been fair to you and I hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry, and I do understand that you may not forgive me right now, but I really hope you can at least think about it."

"Why? You never wanted to be my friend in the first place. You can't even stand me."

"I won't explain my feelings for you right now, I just wanted to apologize." He looks into your eyes and there's something there, some longing you don't understand. "If you decide to give me a chance, then we can discuss anything else."

You watch him turn around and get lost in the crowd. Why did he have to be this way? You just can't understand what he's trying to achieve, but you don't have the time to dwell on it cause, as soon as he's gone, Yeji hugs you and says how proud she is of you.

"You did amazing!" Says Karina excited.

"We have to celebrate." Maybe, but you know Felix is just looking for an excuse to spend more time with Yeji.

"We do," Yunjin, to no one's surprise, agrees, "but I think someone is waiting for you." She steps aside and you can finally see Yeonjun waiting for his turn to congratulate you.

It's endearing how he, as tall as he is, manages to look so tiny and awkward standing there as if your friends (specifically Minho's friends) were some kind of feral wolves ready to attack him.

You walk up to him and can't even hide the smile on your face, "Waiting for someone?" You ask playfully.

"Thought you'd never notice, you're quite popular." He smiles.

"What can I say? I'm a charmer like that."

He laughs and you laugh with him. Is it weird that you can't stop smiling whenever he's around? You can't be this happy all the time, right? Isn't something supposed to balance it out?

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" He asks trying to look serious.

"I still don't know."

"Don't make any plans, we have to celebrate your first song ever!" He looks so excited.

"Why not tonight? I think we're going to the club so you could come and maybe invite your friends."

"I wouldn't want to impose and I saw you with Minho earlier so I don't want to risk the chances of running into him again." He looks upset at the thought of even being in the same room as Minho.

"Fine," you give in, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Great!" You don't expect it, but he gets dangerously close to your face and kisses your cheek.

Before you can even react, he runs away and you're only sure it happened because Yeji is looking at you surprised.

"Don't even mention it!" You say before she even gets the chance to tease you.

She walks back to Felix, and Hyunjin takes her place beside you.

"Ready to get absolutely wasted?" You hear Hyunjin's excitement and you decide that's exactly what you're gonna do.

"Of course!"

notes:

more drama 🤡

Minho was there because Chan invited him and no one seemed to have a problem with that

yn didn't talk to him tho, she still has a lot to think about

yn drunk texting yeonjun is entirely Hyunjin's fault lol

hope you enjoy it and I'm trying my best to keep a balanced pace but sometimes I get the feeling that it's kinda rushed

pls let me know what you think!

taglist: (35/50)

@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @circus-of-thoughts @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Five

The thing is I absolutely love the album that comes out of this mess. Like I know a lot of people do not like Let It Be, but so many of my favorite songs are on it. One of them being “I Me Mine.” The walz element is haunting, and I can read the lyrics as anti-capitalist even though George himself mostly wasn’t. 

Laughing my head off at two boys from one of the best grammar schools in England, who have at this point made millions off of their writing, genuinely not knowing whether it should be “more freer” or “more freely”

The difference in how George shows Paul his new song vs John is striking. For Paul, he’s relaxed, nonchalant. For John, he stands up and performs it. And I think both are a defense mechanism, poor baby, because clearly, although Paul was very supportive of the song while they were alone, when John is roasting it, Paul just laughs along and George has to go “I don’t give a fuck whether you like it.” 

Ah, the famous “up-against-a-wall” conversation. Paul comes in all dominant and sure. “Haven’t you written anything else? Haven’t you?” But then John touches him, and makes him laugh, and Paul’s a melted, goo-goo-eyes mess. This is the real reason why John got to be the leader isn’t it? Because Paul was too damn soft on him to ever follow through with his bossiness.

Their scouse sounds BEAUTIFUL compared to the stupid ugly RP and MLH’s transatlantic shit.

“And now John’d like to say a few words on the subject.” John starts singing, Paul strums along and joins in on the “chorus.” They can’t communicate like healthy people, but they Can do this. 

So Peter Jackson took out Paul’s bitchy nod at Yoko as he’s stealing her man in real time right in front of her eyes. Unforgivable. But he kept in this adorable laugh, so that’s something. 

Three more covers that I think *mean something* “Stand By Me” and “Spinning Like a Top” by Paul, followed by “You Win Again” by John. Yoko’s sweet little shoulder kiss. Thank you for taking care of the poor wet kitten, girly. Maybe don’t introduce the poor wet kitten to heroine, but you do you, I guess. (OP recognizes that poor wet kitten is also an adult capable of making his own decisions)

The cut from Paul literally dancing to get John’s attention straight to John dancing with Yoko while inside Paul’s head a silver hammer is clanging ominously. I can’t. Followed by the knowing, loving smile from Ringo to Paul. You know, those moments when you validate your friend’s bitchy thoughts with a look. 

George is literally SO big inside himself, you know? You have to have superhuman self-love abilities to watch your friend – who is supposed to be helping you – shamelessly make fun of your art . . . and just “Do you wanna do that walz on the show? That’d be great.”

But did you guys know John was actually a really great mover?

“Yes, alright. Just sod off.” I love John. Paul’s people-pleasing ass would literally die first and he needs John to do this kind of shit for him and John’s only too happy to.

The moment when Paul and John are on the same wavelength about Dennis O’Dell’s stage. 

OK but. Did John get the clear plastic idea from Yoko’s art exhibits? 

“Any time we do anything it’s always got to be the best.” Poor Ringo. They’re all literally so tired of carrying so much weight for such a long time. 

“See, I’d watch an hour of him just playing the piano. Cause he’s so great.” With that fond, loving, smile. SUCH big dick energy here. The others could NEVER. 

“And I’ll have the plastic when you’re finished.” Literally for what, though? John, you little hoarding goblin. 

And then Ringo responding to MLH’s “I love you” with “Yes, I love you too.” Yeah, Ringo wins the prize for most healthy beatle of the day. 

*Pattie Boyd voice* “I just wish I knew what was going on there. But something. Something.”

Ugh, John looks so hurt. So tender. So heartbroken. While Paul is over there playing a damn funeral march because that’s the only way he lets himself express anything. But I actually love how Dennis O’Dell knows the clearest path to cheering John up is to say that Paul liked his idea. And how well it works. They’re literally so obvious to everyone but themselves. 

I love the bit when John walks in on the rest of them discussing the live show and MLH calls, “We’ve decided. We’re going to Africa.” And Paul hurries to cut in, “No we’re NOT.” Because he knows exactly how John can get and he’s going to nip this in the bud before John gets let down. And of course, John is all “YEAH LETS GO LETS GO!” And he’s talking about how they always wish they were recording abroad. “We could be in LA, or FRANCE.” (side eye emoji) 

Paul’s “Well said, John.” and “I’ve seen it, John. I went to the premiere. I thought you were great.” Why do all your compliments to him have to be in silly voices? Like, I know you think everyone is going to call you a pussy for saying something genuinely kind to your best friend, but they’re not, and he needs it. 

Holy shit this was a long day. See you all tomorrow with another long-winded-ass post.

[glubby-guppiez]

*Random TMNT 2012 (mainly side characters) hc's bcuz hyperfixation

*(this is the best divider to ever exist btw)

*Warnings: Spoilers for TMNT 2012 ofc, mentions of gender dysphoria and trans related insecurity, transphobia, accidental arson, bullying, manipulation, ptsd, also the tone of the headcanons shift randomly also also typing quirk

*Chris Bradford is trans. )(e did a full transition, he did hormones, voice training, top and bottom surgery, a few different surgeries to make him look/feel more masculine, all the bells and whistles, even went the extra mile to do procedures to hide his surgery scars. )(e's closeted and does about everything in his power to make sure no one even question that he was assigned female at birth because he's scared of his social image of being the great macho man, Chris Bradford, crumbling.

*Leo mainly or solely uses fandom and fanfic socials like Wattpad, AO3, Amino, Tumblr, and maybe Twitter. She mainly interacts with Space )(eroes and Crognard The Barbarian fan posts and shows a special interest in gender swap aus.

*Later on, post show with Muckman's help the mutants are actually able to freely walk around humans without them completely flipping out and starting a mob to witch hunt after them.

*Speaking of walking around humans, Napoleon and the frogs down in Louisiana are considered local urban legend and humans get really excited when they spot the frogs in the woods.

*Dr. Rockwell is a very big coffee enjoyer and used to secretly steal coffee from the nearby shops around the mighty mutanimals hideout and on the rare occasion when someone caught him and called him out he would always use the excuse of the shops being owned by big corporations.

*Don Visioso is a deadbeat father of 5. )(e also has had multiple wives and many divorces.

*Mondo Gecko will call people posers if he's jealous enough of them.

*Ivan Steranko is also trans but has only had hrt and face masculinizing surgery and refuses to get top and bottom surgery.

*Anton Zeck is incredibly smart and performed extremely well in high school and even got free scholarships for how well he did.

*Shinigami is a big video game nerd and will geek out if anyone mentions one of the games she plays.

*The reason Anton hated the mutant name Mikey gave him at first is because it either sounds a lot like or straight up is a nickname old bullies of him gave in order to make fun of him.

*Premutation, Chris acts transphobic towards Xever (despite Xever being cis) out of jealousy and insecurity.

*Baxter Stockman is either a gay aroace trans mspec nonbinary man or a cishet ally. No in-between.

*Mini April cluster!!!:

*April has a deep love for literature and writes poetry in her spare time.

*She almost burned down the culinary class in her school once.

*She's questioning aroace.

*She felt extra empathy for Muckman because he reminded her of Kirby a little bit.

*She likes to hide stickers around the lair whenever has them on her person.

*She thoroughly enjoys having long conversations with each of the individual turtles. (It's her favorite way to spend time with anyone tbh)

*April does eventually take some time to properly learn Japanese and becomes pretty decent at speaking and reading it.

*)(er and Donnie often like to geek out together whenever they find anything new about aliens (both species they haven't seen yet and ones they know well like the kraang).

*End of the mini April cluster!!!

*Kirby O'Neil is a pretty decent cook. That man can make a mean chicken stew.

*Shinigami actually owns multiple cats. 2 ragdoll, 1 sphinx, 1 Persian, and 3 British shorthairs (I could name them all, but I don't wanna). Also, the majority of them are black cats. She feeds strays, too.

*The last headcanon is much to Karai's dismay because she is somewhat allergic. She gets headaches, her skin gets slightly irritated and she gets the sniffles if she's around cats for too long.

*Casey's younger sister wants to be a hair stylist when she grows up, so Jones let's her do his hair every once in a while and he flexes it to every one at the lair like: "Oh? My hair? Yeah, my sister did it for me. Pretty metal, what she did with it, right?"

*Tigerclaw is the only Foot Clan member to not bully Baxter Stockman.

*Someone manipulated and lied to Alopex in order to make her hate and hunt down her brother.

*After season 4, Baxter Stockman leaves New York and takes over Stockman Industries. (If you're unaware of what that is, it's on billboards that the turtles pass throughout the show the most notable appearance being in the ending scene of the final season 4 episode, 'Owari'.)

*Slash deep down still misses The Newtralizer.

*Leatherhead kind of freaks out (apologies for the bad wording) when someone fully wraps their arms around his neck when hugging him because it reminds him of the restraints the Kraang put him in.

*Pigeon Pete learns how to bake so he can make his own bread.

*The turtles get a Wii (or whatever the universes equivalent is).

*Mondo Gecko gets an old Xbox and plays Tony )(awk games, Bully, and Twisted Metal on it.

*Ivan and Anton actually move out to New Jersey post show.

*Alr, that's all for now, toodles!!!

[linawritestwst]

Not knowing whether all the requests are taken but if there are any slots, could you write about a g/n reader who is a singer (or maybe even an idol) in the original world, confess to their crush by performing a love song in front of all NRC’s students, keep their eyes on that person for most of the time? Please make it with all the dorm leaders (and Jamil if you feel like writing his). Thank you very much 💖.

dorm leaders reacting to an idol!reader performing a love song for them (gn!reader)

this is such a cute request! sorry i didn't do jamil's part though, i've been feeling a bit tired lately ;w; and i went with an idol!reader, i hope that's okay!

riddle rosehearts.

♡ riddle knew that you were an idol before coming to this world, but even though you told him that a long time ago, he still has no idea how your singing sounds. he was curious to hear you sing, he can't deny that, but asking you to do it was.. a bit too much for him. yeah, he was too shy to ask, haha. but he still hoped that he'll get to hear you sing one day.

♡ so, cater told riddle that something very important is going to happen today and the dorm leader just can't miss it, he has to be there. naturally, riddle thought that it's going to be something like an announcement from the headmaster and he made sure to remember to come and hear it. huh? is it just him, or cater looks like he's trying really hard not to laugh?

♡ wow, all nrc students are here.. so it really is going to be something important. of course, riddle is not scared at all, he's completely calm and he's ready to listen- wait, is that you? he thought the headmaster is going to stand there.. you thank everyone for coming and then you notice riddle's face in the crowd. you give him a big smile and wave your hand and though it looks like you're saying hi to everyone, for some reason riddle feels like you're doing this for him.. you mention that you were an idol before coming to twisted wonderland and that you really wanted to sing something for nrc students, because they were so nice to you and you're glad you met them. wait, so when cater said that something very important is going to happen today, he was talking about this?? no, no, it's not like riddle thinks your song is nothing special, it's just.. please don't tell him that cater knew about his crush on you.

♡ you start singing and your voice is just as beautiful as riddle imagined it to be. no, actually, it's even more beautiful! also, maybe it's just riddle overthinking things, but the song that you're singing is a lot more romantic than he thought it would be. maybe it's actually supposed to be platonic- ah, wait, some lyrics don't sound like platonic love at all. also, why do you keep looking at him while singing? it's almost like.. you're singing this song for him. sure, you wanted to sing for others too, but it's like you chose this song to tell riddle something. after you're done and you leave the stage, riddle says that your performance was amazing and even though he tries really hard to stay calm, you can see him blushing a bit. riddle wants to believe that you chose this song so that you could tell him how you feel about him, but he won't mention that, at least not right now. but if that really was your intention.. then it means that you love him back?

leona kingscholar.

♡ you told leona that you were an idol in the past and.. he wasn't that impressed, actually. he knows what idol music is like and he doesn't find it that interesting, it's too.. cutesy for him. you told him that there are a lot of different idol concepts, but he still wasn't interested. he still wanted to hear you sing though, but whenever he mentioned your singing, you just went "what, you want to hear it just so that you can make fun of me?". you weren't that serious about it and you mostly meant it as a joke, but deep inside.. you were scared. what if leona ends up not liking your singing? you really didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your crush, so you needed a lot of time before you finally got the courage to perform for him.

♡ you invited other nrc students too though. you wanted to confess your feelings for leona with your song, but you didn't want it to look too obvious. also you were still a bit scared, you know that it probably sounds weird that you're more afraid of performing for your crush and not for a huge crowd of students, but you just can't help it. also you want leona to use his brains and figure out the reason why you invited him. what, you can't just go "hey, i like you, please go on a date with me"! you sure hope that leona will get your message though.

♡ leona ends up coming too even though ruggie pretty much forced him to go and he thinks it's just going to be another boring concert and he hopes he'll be able to sleep through it, but when he finds out that you are going to be the one performing, he suddenly doesn't feel so sleepy anymore. ruggie immediately goes "wow, you sure look more energetic now, dorm leader-" before leona tells him to shut up. leona is quiet during your entire performance and doesn't say anything, which makes you think he's bored and you're trying really hard not to panic. well, at least other students are enjoying the show..

♡ when you're done singing, you go to talk to some other students who praise your singing skills and tell you that you've done a great job, but they get interrupted by leona's sudden appearance. you want to leave as soon as possible because you're sure that leona didn't like your performance. you even tell him to just go ahead and say that he hated it- "what made you think i hated it? it was fine. still not my kind of thing, but not as bad as i thought it would be." h-huh? so.. wait a second. you know leona, if he says that something was "fine" or "okay", it means he absolutely loved it. he also tells you that he didn't really care about the song, he just wanted to hear your voice, that's all. and you're pretty good at singing, so the fact that it's an idol song doesn't bother him that much. well, that's good to hear- wait, SO THAT MEANS HE JUST IGNORED THE LYRICS??

azul ashengrotto.

♡ azul is another dorm leader who knew about your past and he really wanted to hear you sing one day. oh, you know, it's just something he finds interesting, he totally doesn't think that you singing for the mostro lounge customers would be a great idea, haha.. you promised him many times that you will sing for him one day and it looks like you're finally going to fulfill that promise because he received quite an interesting invitation from you today. you tell him that you're going to perform for all nrc students because azul is not the only person in this school who wanted to hear you sing, but you would be very happy if he came too. and of course, he can't miss an event like that.

♡ azul has very high expectations for you and you're extremely nervous because of that. what if he doesn't like your voice? what if he thinks you're not talented at all? what if he hates the song that you're going to sing? you wanted to confess your love for him with this song too and you wrote it yourself while thinking about azul.. well, you will just hope that he's gonna like it, you don't really have any other choice.

♡ azul knows about idols that's what happens when you're in the same club as idia and though he's not a big fan of them, he still finds you being an idol impressive. also, being friends with an idol can be one of his many useful connections- no, no, he really does treasure the friendship he has with you! he actually would love it if your relationship became even deeper than that.. you didn't hear that from him. but when he finally hears you sing, your performance exceeds all of his expectations. why.. why didn't you let him hear your voice sooner?? he already had a feeling that you must be very talented because of how popular you were in your world, but.. he finally gets what idia meant when he said that idols bring people joy and happiness.

♡ he tries to act like his usual self when you ask him if he liked the show and you hear a lot of compliments from him, however, they sound a lot more sincere than, you know, his usual speech. so he really did like your performance.. you're so happy.. but there's still one question left. you ask him if he paid attention to the lyrics and he nods and says that it was a deep and beautiful love song and he wonders if you wrote the lyrics yourself. you proudly tell him that you did and mention that you wrote this song with one of your friends in mind. azul freezes for a second and tries to act like nothing happened and compliments you once again before he leaves. yeah, now he's going to overthink what you said and try to figure out who you were talking about. and no, for some reason he doesn't think that you were talking about him.

kalim al-asim.

♡ when kalim finds out that you used to be an idol, he's not sure what you mean by that, but once you explain it to him, he is so interested and he is so?? proud of you?? like wow, you used to be this really popular singer and you made so many people smile, how cool is that? he admires you even more now! oh, wait, now he really wants to know how your voice sounds like when you sing. he asks if you can sing something for him, but you don't think you're ready for that yet, singing in front of your crush sounds so scary.. he totally gets it if you're uncomfortable with it though! he just hopes that you will let him hear you sing one day.

♡ when you finally feel like you're brave enough to sing for kalim AND confess your feelings for him, kalim suddenly says that you should let all nrc students hear your voice, come on, it would be so fun! oh well, looks like your confession can wait, haha.. you don't mind singing for others at all, in fact, you would love them to hear you sing, they're your friends after all. it's just that you've been waiting for this moment for so long and it looks like your confession won't be that "personal" anymore. but hey, at least it won't be that embarrassing!.. probably.

♡ kalim actually notices you looking a bit nervous before the concert and tries to help you calm down. he tells that he's sure you're gonna do great and he already knows that he's going to love your performance. you were so popular in your world and people loved to hear you sing, he's sure people from twisted wonderland are going to become your fans too! but he doesn't know that you're anxious not because you think people are going to hate your singing, but because you're literally going to confess your love for kalim with your song. but yeah, what he said to you made you fall in love with him even more.

♡ kalim ends up loving your performance SO MUCH. he never really listened to idol music before, but he's glad that your song became his first experience with it. he has so much to say, he has so much to ask, he refuses to let you go after the show is over. he's just so happy, he knew that you're an amazing and talented person, but your performance turned out to be even better than he expected! the song was so cute and your voice was beautiful and- yes, he does remember you singing a love song, what about it? oh, did you have a deeper reason for choosing that song? how interesting, he would love to hear it then!

vil schoenheit.

♡ he was certainly intrigued when he found out that you were an idol in the past. he's not really a fan of music like that, but he didn't expect you to be someone famous in your world. now he even feels kind of guilty for being so hard on you when you first met, it means that you both are most likely on the same level.. no, actually, he'll be even more strict with you now. now that he knows that you were a celebrity, he will pay even more attention to your hair, skincare, etc. wait, what do you mean, you're not sure that you want to keep being an idol in this world? so it's like.. you're taking a break from that?.. whatever, it doesn't mean that you can just stop taking care of your appearance.

♡ you've always wanted to sing something for vil and you've been thinking about confessing your love for him too, so.. why not combine these two things? you've always found it easier to express your feelings through music and you're sure that it will be easier for you to express your love that way too. when he receives an invitation to come to your concert, he's quiet at first, but then he suddenly goes ".. didn't you say that you took a break from your career?" yes, he thinks that it was just an excuse so that he won't be so strict with you. he agrees to come though.

♡ you look like you're completely calm, after all, you're used to hiding your true feelings thanks to your job. but you're actually very, VERY scared. what if vil doesn't like your performance? oh, he's totally gonna hate it. your idol songs are too cute for someone like him, you knew that you should've picked a more elegant-sounding song! he's not gonna like the lyrics too, you really should've went with something different.. oh well, you don't have time for this right now.

♡ vil remains completely emotionless during the whole show which makes you panic, but you still keep going. you can't let others down just because he's not enjoying it. you try to prepare yourself for what he's about to say after you're done and oh no, he looks angry- oh, he just wanted to tell you that you've been dancing so much, your hair is a mess now. haha, yeah, that's definitely something vil would say. when you ask him about your performance, he tells you that he never was into idol music, but.. he has to admit that he liked your voice a lot. he also noticed you looking at him the entire time. "so.. does this mean that you know how i feel about-" "you should've looked at the other people too. i know, it's easy to get distracted when someone like me is here, but you should pay more attention to others. i thought an experienced idol like you would know that."

idia shroud.

♡ WAIT YOU WERE AN IDOL?? please. please tell him more. please, he has to know more about your past. he wants to know what kind of idol you were, what was your theme/concept, what did you call your fans and of course, he wants to hear you sing too. you say that you can't do that yet and when he asks why, you laugh and say that "your friendship level is not high enough". oh.. but he thought you two were friends.. wait, that was a joke? ah, you're just too shy to sing for him right now. that's actually kinda cute.. no, he didn't say anything!

♡ when you tell him that you're going to have a concert soon and you want him to come, he's not that happy about it at first because. you know. people. and he doesn't think that those normies are going to appreciate your talent that much. "well then, now i want you to show up even more because you're most likely going to be the only one who can truly support me~" that's it. he's coming. well, that was easy. the hardest part is going to be trying to confess your love to him..

♡ again, idia is not happy about having to sit with all these nrc students who don't know anything about idols and who can't understand how talented you really are. but when you actually start singing, he immediately forgets about all of that stuff and he can't take his eyes off you. he knew that you would be a great singer considering how popular you were in your world, but.. that's it, you're his favorite idol now. he doesn't even remember who he used to stan before hearing your singing.

♡ when the show is over, he waits for others to leave so that he can talk to you without worrying about them. and when you two are all alone, that's when he goes full otaku mode. he literally has stars in his eyes and he can't stop talking about how cute you looked in your outfit and how good you are at dancing and how pretty your voice was. you can feel your face becoming warm and red and you try to stop him even though you don't want him to stop. wait, so he also noticed you looking at him the entire time??.. ah, he just thinks that you did that because he was the only one who could truly support you, just like you said.

malleus draconia.

♡ he doesn't know anything about idols. literally nothing. so when you tell him about your past, he doesn't really get what you mean by being an idol, but when you explain it to him.. okay, yeah, that sounds interesting. do you mind singing something for him then? if you're comfortable with that, of course. but if you're not, it's okay, he can wait. what malleus doesn't know is that you've been planning to sing for him, but not just any song. you want to confess your feelings for him with your song.

♡ you want this moment to be memorable though, so you decide to invite other students too, you know that some of them also really wanted to listen to your songs. also malleus won't feel so lonely with so many other students around! and yes, you make sure to invite malleus to your little concert and don't worry, he won't forget to come. no, actually, he will mark this day in his calendar, that's how important you are to him. he tells lilia, silver and sebek about it too and lilia finds it adorable that malleus is so excited to finally hear you sing. and yes, all four of them are going to come.

♡ when malleus finally hears your voice.. he already had feelings for you, but now he's totally in love with you. he can see how hard you've been working and he can see how passionate you are about being an idol. lilia mentions that you've been looking at malleus this whole time and malleus goes "wait really??". he was so busy looking at you and listening to you sing, but he didn't even notice you looking right back at him. that's how much of a simp he is

♡ other students tell you that they enjoyed your show, but when they see malleus draconia himself wanting to talk to you as well, they immediately leave while apologizing. they are afraid that he's gonna say something bad about your performance because of how he's been staring at you this whole time, but you know that this guy actually loved it and had a lot of fun. he says that you've definitely impressed him.. but he's afraid he won't be satisfied with just one song. you have to let him listen to you sing more often. oh, but sadly, he would be another guy to ignore the lyrics. he was too busy admiring you to pay attention to that.

[chibrary]

INTERVIEW: "Ferrari, I won't stop believing in it. I see myself as world champion" (La Repubblica, 2022)

source: alessandra retico, la repubblica published: june 15th, 2022 series: f1, 2022

excerpts:

Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different drivers, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.

You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.

In the film [Lightyear], there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy: does it surprise you? For me, homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.

They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.

Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.

What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.

A pinhead with wheels underneath. The yellow helmet was so big and he was so small, that his father called him pins à roulettes: "It's the image that corresponds to me and I like best about myself." Even though Dad Hervé is no longer here, Charles Leclerc still goes fast and stings the heart with the same ardor as when he was a child. He has a Ferrari to do it. "I want to become world champion , I will believe in it until it is no longer mathematically possible." Six poles in 8 grands prix but only 2 successes, now he is 3rd behind the Red Bulls of Verstappen and Perez. Two retirements in the last 3 races (Barcelona and Baku) due to reliability problems, in the middle his very bitter Monte Carlo: from 1st to 4th due to a mix-up of strategies. His engine is in Maranello: in Montreal he will fit a new one, to be determined if he will need a fourth turbo which would cost him a penalty.

Still optimistic? I will never give up, this has always been my mentality. I want to win, the World Cup is long. We have to understand the problems we had, they were three tough blows. Not an easy moment, but this doesn't change my motivation.

Doesn't reliability worry you? No, but a lot of attention is needed, the customer teams also had problems. But I have faith in this team and once the problems have been resolved, the pace and performance are there. I believe in it. I may be crazy, but I also believed in the two previous seasons as soon as I put the visor down, even though I could aim for a 10th place at most. This year we're really there, we just need to focus on ourselves and solve the problems as soon as possible. It's an important championship, we have a great opportunity to do well. There is too much positivity when things go well and too much negativity when they go badly. We need to find a balance.

Did you sleep after Munich? I did it, even if it hurt. But already in Baku I reset and got back in very good shape. It will be the same here in Montreal too.

How do you recover from disappointment after delusion? I know well what it means and what it feels like when you win, it's one of the few things that give me such great happiness. It's this that drives me to train every morning. This year we should have had more successes than we have for the reasons we know, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time to get back to where we want to be.

Do you need more calm or a winning mentality? Everyone has their own way of arriving at things. For me, being calm and concentration are fundamental. And when there is an excess of emotions it is important to return to your own bubble without being disturbed.

Do you have anything special about qualifying? I don't know, you can make a difference on the flying lap, because every mistake you make costs you in the end. For now it's gone well, I understand the car enough. But I'm also happy with the race which was my weak point in 2019, I worked on it and I think I improved a lot.

Compared to your partner, Sainz, you seem to have more confidence with the car. I can't speak for Carlos, this year I prepared better than in the past. Lots of simulator and in the pre-season tests I tried things that perhaps didn't make sense but I didn't want to overlook anything and be as ready as possible for the first race, there I wanted to be where I am and give it my all. It paid off. These new cars are difficult to drive and the details of going fast have changed. All the drivers have made mistakes and it's up to me to make as few as possible. I take risks, like in Imola. Even when you can't see it. I think it's the right approach and for now I'm happy.

Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different riders, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.

How did you miss the plane to Montreal? I went home on Monday. The flight from Nice to Paris was delayed. So I missed the connection but then I arrived safe and on time.

You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.

What do you write in the notebooks you read during free practice?

Everything: my feelings on the car and the things I want to try on the track. I get lots of ideas so I write them down so I don't forget them. And I write them in pen so I'm sure I'll find them again, before I used an app on the tablet which often deleted it all.

You voiced a character in the Disney Pixar film, Lightyear: The True Story of Buzz . Do you feel like a superhero? No. I feel like a normal person, even if I do a sport, I don't call it work, very special which isn't for everyone. I'm just lucky.

In the film there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy, does it surprise you? For me homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.

What are you like in everyday life? I have a routine: diet, gym, rest. Discipline is the biggest change I've made. In a year like this I want to be at 110% for 22 races. Will we get to 24? I'll be even fitter.

They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.

You play the piano. If F1 were a musical genre, what would it be? A very strange mix between classical and rock and roll. I think it's an exercise in adaptation between aggressiveness in qualifying and gentleness in tire management in the race. Playing helps me, I did it as a child, my brother Arthur is very good, I I started again during the pandemic by taking back the piano that was from my mother.

Don't you sing? Sometimes in the shower. Out of tune? I don't know, I just wouldn't have the courage to do it in front of someone. Poor Seagull sung in Bahrain? A joke with some of the team. I prefer to invent on the piano, it's something I share with my girlfriend Charlotte who will become an architect in two months. Like me, she is very creative.

Is creativity also useful for being a pilot? You need speed, precision, concentration. And courage. Let's take Jedda: a very fast track, close walls. There you feel the risk you're taking but you have to go and not think about it, this is what I like about this sport. I know it's dangerous, but I like to play with limits.

Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.

What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.

You love fashion, when will your first clothing line be launched? I would like to do it in the future, it is one of my passions, I believe that fashion is a means of expressing oneself without speaking. For now I am content with wearing things that I like. My mind is busy trying to win the Championship.

Have you already booked your summer holidays? In Sardinia with my friends on my Riva boat. Then in Ibiza with the family, but I remain focused: gym and equipment within reach.

Who will you cheer for at the World Cup in Qatar? Since there is no Monaco and Italy, France.

How do you see yourself at the end of the year? World champion and that's it.

[leynaeithnea]

Just finished your beautiful beautiful very yummy and very angsty analysis of love in paradise ( maybe I shed a little tear here and there, maybe I didn't, you can't know that ) so I thought this would be right moment to leave you an ask for a gods game analysis maybe?? *stares at you with big brown eyes*

Last one of this saga!!!! Yayyy

Praying ill remember all the musical parts ive heard about but im sure theres so much hidden i forgot/didnt hear about yet

30. God Games

We open with a choir of course, because...gods! Athena decides to do something (finially)

“Father, God King” (athena asks daddy for help SIJGSEIG)

“Rarely do I ask for favors” being the good favorite daughter

“Now, I’m knocking on your door, with hopes to save a friendship with one who’s a prisoner far from home....Odysseus” I LOVE the melody of this part somehow??? especially how the drop before “odysseus”, ALSO SHE CALLS IT A FRIENDSHIP INFRONT OF ZEUS TOO

“Divine intervention, is that what you seek?” ........yes, bruh. Zeus dont fuck this up, u are decent enough in Homers Odyssey

“To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?” okay i had to google “apprehentions, and apperently it both means “arrest” and “concern/fear”...........to untie the arrest on Ody, and at the same time the concerns of Odysseus THATS GENIUS, Ive heard Homer does a lot of these double meanings of words in his Epics and IM SO HERE FOR IT, also “that Greek”, come on, dont use it as a slur >:)

“You are playing with thunder for a man full of shame”..................NOW WHO PUT THIS SHAME ON HIM YOU MF, YOU WHAT KIND OF SICK GAME IS THIS-

“But if he’s worth the risk of going under, why not make it a game?” Lukes vocal performance in this part is something else, like dude??? hello? youre a tenor SIEJGSEIGJ, its good, also WDYM GOING UNDER??? HUH??? ....yeah of course you make it a game, because everything is a game to you, because really, theres nothing and noone who poses a thread to you

“Convince each of them that he ought to be released, and I’ll release him” the slight echo effect in that voice.......fascinatinggg, wish i knew if the melody in this part had any meaning, gotta look it up

“Who’s them?” Athena god of wisdom asking about details before agreeing to deals *cough* Odysseus, learn from your friend

“Apollo” APPOLO MY GUY ehehehehee

“Hephaestus” okay, fair

“Aphrodite” the wWAY HE PROUNCES HER NAME?? OMG

“Ares”, yea yea imposing yada yada

“Hera” cant exclude his wife

“Or me” OR me, so its ALL of them, or him? bruh

“What do you say?” WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SAY

“Great” ehehehehe apollo <3

“Very well” just doing it because

“Eh” shes so excited

“Alright” he IS excited

“Groovy”....ok? um...imma move on

“Bring it” of course she would choose all of them over Zeus, its Zeus, he just WANTS you to loose, bc hes the god king

“Apollo!” parrot

“You all know I’m a fan of catchy songs” god of music yada yada HIS VOICE

“so with so many sirens gone, I think Ody’s in the wrong”.........there are so many reasons to dislike Odysseus and you pick the SIRENS? .......did you just join for the fun and had no real reasons or did u get dragged there or-....but its ok, your voice is amazing, also IIRC it should be the melody of suffering??? of different beast??? i forgorrrr norrrr also Lyreeee in the background! ehehehe

“They were trying to do him worse, All he did was reimburse them Now they’ll tread with caution first To live another day and sing another verse” maybe the melody was in this part. also, yeah tell him athena, what kind of argument is that, they tried to kill him he just did what he had to--------admittely he was VERY cruel about it, but athena doesnt have to mention that, and well Ody probably protected even more sailors in the future through his actions

ALSO DONT COME AT ME WITH “but all the sirens are dead” THERE ARE MORE, theyre obviously not talking about the sirens Ody killed, its about all other Sirens out at see that woudlve seen the others dying after being brutally cut down by a human, they WILL be more cautious in the future

“If that’s true, release him”, yeah u really had nothing to argue against, he just shrugs it off LMAO

“Hephaestus!” Hefefuf ehehehe ALSO JORGES DAD YAY adorable, tho when first listened i rly thought it was Jorge with voice changer again THEY SOUND SO SIMILIAR

“Trust is not given, it’s forged”...true, valid argument, Also Scylla melody??? I THink?

“Why should I give him my support? He sacrificed his own cohort”......well....um.....he didnt rly have much of a CHOICE ....but its a more valid concern, the sounds that sound like a hammers in a forge sound cool btw

“Did you forget they failed to listen?”.........yeah literally

“He was betrayed and then imprisoned” IMPRISONED AH ODY, but yeah EXACTLY, the WIND BAG, THE MUTINY AH

“But if you make the right decision He can still build a future with those who miss him” AND BUILD TRUST WITH THEM AGAIN AHHHHHHH yes. Hefefuf choose right.

“Fine, release him” good.

the music making it sound like steps in a game as you level up....fine, it sounds nice

“Aphrodite” seductive, i like it

“Your little high and mighty Odysseus” SHeS pissed, and does not like Ody you can hear the “high and mighty” in her voice :”) ouch

“Claims to love his mother But let her die of a broken heart” LIKE HE HAD A CHOICE IN THE MATTER HE TRIED TO GET HOME SHE DIDNT HAVE TO JUMP

“He was busy fighting”, yeaaah

“More like busy spiting the cyclops”.........yeah okay we can get behin that this was stupid decision but it wasnt a rational decision either he just lost his best friend, THATS LOVE TOO; GIVE HIM SOME SLACK

“Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot” WHY U BE SO COLD HEARTED , i love the melody/music in this tho

“Wait, please reconsider this”, athena using quick thought on a goddess, intriguing! also shes begging her :tear: aw man

“Really Athena? These old tricks?” annoyed older brother breaking into quick thought to the rescuse of his lover, makes him likeable somehow, i love the delivery of this line

“Ares!” yeah shes pissed

“What kind of sick coward Holds back his power While his friends get devoured? He didn’t even fight Scylla Didn’t even try to kill her Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done Never handles things upfront” sorry that he didnt want to DIE dude??? i get your concern with straight forward, open combat but???? is dying on the battle field rly that much worse than wanting to come home COME ON, he wins, he is EFFECTIVE, are you jealous of his stragedies? HE GOT MENTORED BY ATHENA; OFC HE WILL CHOOSE THE SMART WAY OUT NOT THE QUICKEST-WAY-TO-DIE WAY OUT smh

“Pathetic and weak like his son” thats a low blow what is your issue with telemachus bro, the drums for ares makes sense

“Hold your tongue now His son’s my friend” awwww shes calling him a frienddddddd

“And tell your lover that a broken heart can mend” AHAHAH “tell your lover”, true true

“You want more bloodshed? Then set him free To get back to his homestead, he’ll make everybody bleed” SEUHGSOUEGESH “if you let him back he’ll kill everyone” Ares: :D thats what i like to hear, Athenas piano playing again, as she fights Ares is fun too

“Ugh, release him”, what made them change their mind? Esp Aphrodite? was it Athenas concern for Telemachus? and for Ares athenas promise of bloodshed? maybe who knows

“Hey baby”.....okay, flirty? from Hera? alright, lets interpret it as motherly flirting

“Hera” how to hit those high notes

“So many heroes So many tales Give me one good reason why yours should prevail” NOW THAT is intersting, everyone else so far gave a reason NOT to release him, but now Hera asks her to give her one reason WHY he deserves to be released “dont tell me of all the sins he didnt commit, tell me of the virtue he holds” typa thing

“He’s got the mind of a genius”, fair, but there would be others

“Try harder”, encouraging, she doesnt rly want her to loose does she? she support it, she just wants to see if Athena is worth it, i do like this characterization (as long as i ignore the disco animatic, i know its Jorges creative freedom but my brain tries to refuse ANYTHING that would be a reference to modernity, let me live in the bliss of ignorance to pretend its a movie set in ancient greece x)

“He’s pretty skilled with words”, hes a lair, i love him for it

“You can do better than that”, ...yeah

“He’s kind of funny?” running out of reasons athena, also YOU THINK HES FUNNY? LMAO ur right, the odyssey is quite the commedy for anyone but odysseus (and a few others but yk)

“Eh” doesnt sound convinced heh

“Never once has he cheated on his wife” HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HA right thing to say to Hera

[also the whole debate about “did odysseus cheat or not” no. idc what anyone says. if anyone argues he INITALLY consented to Calypso: fine, its blurry in the narrative, anyone can choose how to interpret that as they wish, but Circe was bestowed upon him by Hermes (in the myth at least, in Epic there ofc very clearly refuses her, and she accepts him (hear that calypso? HEAR THAT CALYPSO)) and Calypso, at the very least later on turned VERY unconsensual. FOR SEVEN YEARS., but the “he liked her no more” could also mean she didnt like her as a person anymore after she saved him. its not 100% clear how the relationship started out, we just know how it ends rly, but given the historic context too, it might very well be that it wouldntve been considered as cheating, even if it was consensual, would hera consider it cheating bc she does so with Zeus? maybe, idk, i think the idea of Ody being (one of) the only greek hero(es) that doesnt cheat is one i like, he gets praised enough by homer for all his skills he might as well have the skill of being true to his wife, in EPIC we know that Ody refuses her from the beginning so whatever did or did not remain unnamed in Epic, would NOT be cheating,.........and anyone who mentions Odys proof for cheating being the telegony or any other later versions where suddenly children show up, and he offs penelope for cheating and telemachus marries circe, can kindly, do some more reading into the history of the text and how later authors added their own twists, we dont know if the odyssey from homer was the most well known version, i think, but its the one we consider canon now, and i rly refuse to believe that Ody coming home only to get a new wife]

“Release him” the side glace Zeus mustve gotten LMAO

...ok angry zeus choir again, rly?

“I’ve played your game and won”, she did, fair and square

“Release him” you better

“You dare to defy me?”, what happend to your voice zeus? also....are you pissed that she called you out on cheating? bro, ur just pissed that she choose everyone else over you, grow up zeus

“To make me feel shame?” shame about loosing the game or shame for the humiliation about cheating, mhh

“No one beats me, no one wins my game!”, sounds like my 3rd brother, but hes at least cute when hes throwing a fit about a game having rules

“Thunder, bring her through the wringer Show her I’m the judgement call The one who makes her kingdom fall! ”.your voice is getting worse btw, but...are we talking about pride still? Athenas pride? or is “her” just Athena now? mhhhh, Odysseus DID call her “selfish, prideful and vain”, so maybe it does refer to her pride, she DID Have a character arc tho >:) unlike zeus, hes just an ass, also he gets a choir background for this? intersting,

NOW HE THROWS LIGHTING AT HER??? thats intense, i was gasping when i saw, night sound design

“Is she dead?”, he does sound concerned, is it bc big brother energy or bc athena was zeus favorite child? or do they know how Zeus fucked up just now? hah..ha

the flashes you can hear in the music....aaaah

NOW THIS INSTRUMETAL PART

IS SO BEAUTIFUL ITS SO GOOD THE WAY “WARRIOR OF THE MIND” AND TELEMACHUS LULLABY AND LEGENDARY BLEND TOGETHER AND BECOME “ATHENAS FINIAL STAND” (as its supposedly called) ITS SO GOOD i ah i like this part the most of the song, together with apollos voice aseghsegij Aphrodite is fine too :) and "rly athena; these old tricks"

AlSO her having a flashback to Ody giving her Telemachus to hold after his birth, PLS??? Thats so vulnerableeeeee aaaaaaaaah yeah, yea that was good

“Let him go, please, Let him go”, she reaches out to Zeus, as her light dims and she begs him to let Ody go, nothing left of the selfish and prideful goddess, she was selfless- sacrifcing herself and ler go of her pride to beg to Zeus to let him go, who stops as he grabs to throw another lighting, in shocked realization of what he has done.

The song fades out. And we are left to wonder if Athena is ded or not

now initially i rly thought Jorge killed a goddess

by now im more hopeful that she isnt dead (im hoping for that, mostly for the fun of sticking to the source material of Athenas help in the last chapter(s) of the story)

but

im still doubting a bit. the chance is there that she is, infact, dead, but i dont know how that would impact the narrative-,...i suppose we’ll see, either in the vengence saga, or at the lastest in the ithica saga x)

[ruruumin]

being his music inspiration.

₊˚ ᗢ kazuha x singer! reader, modern au.

⤷ what is he like, if he were your biggest fan?

Kazuha wasn’t one to make big decisions. He has always let the wind take him wherever. So when Venti proposed that he joined a band, his ears perked up in interest. 5wirl, now rebranded as 6reeze was a band started in high school. They would perform at local venues or bars just to scrape by. They had no manager for the longest time but that never mattered to them. As long as they had fun making music, that was all that mattered.

It wasn’t until Scaramouche or Wanderer joined their party that things began to unravel. He was hard-headed and stubborn, yet at the same time curious. He asked the group: Why did you want to perform? It was a very simple question. Though one that made Venti giggle and Heizou elbow Kazuha’s side. For Xiao, he wanted to practice and experiment with different styles. Heizou and Venti liked the attention. 

Kazuha joined for one reason: you. Someone from another band who started way before he was even in high school. Although you and he were the same age, you were a lot more experienced and interested in performance and music. He used to beg his older friend Beidou to drive him to your concerts just so he could listen to you live and not from your CDs. 

The first time he listened to you was when you did a cover of “心做し” or Kokoronashi, which was dedicated to your recent break-up. Beidou described your voice to be powerful and raw, and he couldn’t deny that whatsoever. It was indeed true to your feelings and watching your eyes scan the crowd with a look of sincerity and hurt made his heart ache. 

When Beidou saw how enthusiastic he was about seeing you, she decided to give him the old bass that she had gotten from a thrift store. The look of excitement and joy in his eyes was unmatched, and she was happy that she made the right decision of giving it to him. He practiced the bass many times, his fingers growing a little more calloused each time he picked up his instrument. To learn songs, he would listen to your CDs and mouth the words to your songs. 

6reeze started to get popular once your band started to tour. And one fateful day, Venti managed to score a few tickets to see you. This also included exclusive meet and greet tickets that were only presale. The same tickets that the blond-haired boy was fighting desperately to get but lost due to an exam being held at the same time it opened. Kazuha held them in his hands with stars in his eyes. If you were to look closer, you might have seen him hold back his tears. 

On the day of your show, he was at the front, gaze completely focused on you. You pranced around the stage with a joyous smile, performing your heart out with your friends. Halfway through your performance, you started to slow down. Pulling out a stool, you raise the microphone close to you, singing the same song that he remembers all too familiar as another cover of Kokoronashi. Venti chuckled a bit into his hand, offering Kazuha a sympathetic smile as the boy started to cry. 

He swore his heart died when you signed his CD. His hands were trembling so badly that he stuttered over every single word. It took everything in Venti’s bones just to tell him that he’s had a massive crush on you since the day he saw you. Though that would be a bit too cruel! However, what set Kazuha off the most was the way your soft hands wrapped around his, a smile stretched across your face.

“Kazuha, right? You were there during my first performance, weren’t you?” You said, his face growing flush and red. “My friends are huge fans of you. I’m really glad that you guys are doing so well! I hope to one day perform alongside you.”

[koskela-knights]

An Ode to Peter Franzén's performance

Once again thinking about Peter’s acting skills on full display in Alan Wake 2 which made the majority of the audience think the Koskelas were portrayed by two separate actors (I thought it too for quite some time!)

He basically played 4 different characters and he doesn't get enough credit or praise for this so here we go!

1 & 2 The Koskela Brothers

Thinking how he managed to make them distinctly different in not just the obvious outfits and hair but posture and gesture-wise too, even their voices. Jaakko is calmer, doesn't accentuate as much as Ilmo who is very vivid and energetic, using big gestures and talking with a lot of vigor.

(Photo by @amiracleilluminated)

Yet, Jaakko can be intimidating and aggressive. Most obvious is the jail scene but in the prologue, Cultist Jaakko comes off as a sturdy man and if you listen to the audio files on his (albeit distorted) voice, he is really pissed off.

(like I wouldn't wanna mess with Cultist Jaakko 😳 photo by @zephyrone01)

On a final note on the Koskelas, the goofy acting of Ilmo and mainly Jaakko's obvious bad acting are a whole thing on their own to pull off. To make it believable enough without it looking too forced or awkward in a bad way. But damn did Peter deliver and nail it.

3 The Cultist

Then u have the Cultist. Who sounds cockier than Ilmo and more seductive in a femme fatale kinda way. His gestures aren’t as grand as Ilmo’s but are still present and readable as just a silhouette. Even though we can't see his facial expressions, Peter's voice and his body language really gave this character a personality.

4 Ilmari Huotari

Last but definitely not least u got YY Ilmari, the murderer. He speaks Finnish but even that language difference aside, he speaks so differently. More calculated and his posture is straighter than Ilmo's. In this movie, you really see the subtle facial expressions. Sometimes blink and u miss it (like the snarl) Ilmari has a predatory stance and look when he confronts Kesä.

(These 3 different faces are maybe only a few seconds apart from each other!)

And that cool, calculated posture is fully gone when he goes into that killing frenzy a few minutes later. I screenshotted the hell out of YY and u can see Ilmari’s forehead vein poppin, he had crazy wild eyes that the Koskelas didn't have (there's a reason the Dark Presence wanted to turn them into the Huotari brothers).

5 Bonus distinctions

Also I notice that the Koskelas and Ilmari all do the head tilt but they're all different in vibes.

(ilmo & jaakko pics by @amiracleilluminated, Cultist Jaakko by @zephyrone01)

Cute head tilts vs determined, stalkerish looks

All characters also have noticeable changes in their attitudes

a) Ilmo: usually happy, very talkative and expressive becomes all depressed and muted and audibly grieving after Jaakko's brutal death. And during Deerfest he becomes manic and self-destructive (listen to his lines like: "stab me again, please")

(photos by @zephyrone01 & Cinematic Gameplays on YouTube)

b) Jaakko: usually less expressive, more subtle in his reactions becomes all aggressive and angry in the jail (and in the prologue)

(Photos by @zephyrone01)

c) Ilmari: as talked in his section, he can go from collected and cool to aggressive and a terrific murderer real quickly.

Honestly, if you make a closeup of just their eyes, even their eyes seem distinct from one another.

How are they all Peter Franzén??!??

All in all, Peter Franzén did a stellar job with these characters 🙌 He really showed a wide range of emotions and personalities, even within the same character at times.

Of all works I've seen him play in, his performance in Alan Wake 2 continues to be my favourite work of his.

[sereneabyyss]

Posting this here for the sole reason for maybe someone will write this au before I am forced to by sheer peer pressure alone.

Anyway so idol au for hunters gonna lay low time. (Someone please write this I'm already too swamped in aus)

(will probably write this au anyway but as one shots of different scenes but I DIGRESS-)

So anyway idol au right? Cej debuted as an idol and his stage name was J, he was so popular because he always wore a mask as an idol which added this mysteriousness to him that everyone fucked with hard. This led to a trend of idols debuting with masks. He just wanted privacy.

So then flash forward three years after debut, his aunt gets sick, dies, he maybe gets injured, maybe gets sick, went to military service for a few years, had a midlife crisis, anything to fill in eight years, the aunt totally did die tho.

So like during those eight years he didn't keep up with idol culture and he was kept signed to his company without dissolving the contract (totally not legal btw, we ignore these things) in that time a new number one pop idol has come about, Lee Sa Young.

He comes to know of Lee Sa Young because when he first visited the hangover soup restaurant (yes that STAYS dammit) a new segment covering the tribute show lsy performed for J was playing.

Anyway so in this au lsy was a child dying from cancer that cej visited as J for idol promotion stuff but when he learned lsy didn't have any close relatives or anyone visiting, he would visit and even have a portion of his income to pay for lsy treatments. So then lsy gets better, debuts under the pado agency and he's the idol that gets them on the map. lsy is a solo idol with bww as his manager. BWW ONLY manages lsy. That's how much of a pr nightmare he is everyday.

Well anyway without j who was their only big star, his company went under and got bought by pado agency. But the paperwork for j kinda got lost so technically j is a pado idol, no one knows who he is tho.

Some other details: hangover soup restaurant is right next to all the idol agencies, a lot of the staff go there for lunch, rarely does an idol come, but you can sometimes see them.

Jung bin was a rising actor when cej was active, but after eight years he's only known for the infomercials his agency keeps having him do. You can often see his face advertising a juice juice brand or a flavor of water.

J has a very distinct style of dance. No one else has been able to replicate this. Lsy recognizes cej as j after seeing him dance when cej thought he was alone in the hangover soup restaurant.

OH ALSO the artisan dude is a highly sought after producer who doesn't care to work with most idols because he thinks their styles are boring. He can sometimes tolerate producing for lsy but even that gets boring. This all changes after he finds a video of some guy singing in his show with a really low quality mic but the voice is absolutely angelic and is the closest thing to J they've had in years.

(meanwhile cej had heard posting covers on YouTube could sometimes get you extra cash and he had an old video that his aunt took when he was practicing his part for an unreleased song back when he was active and figured that would be alright and not stand out too much but should gain some traction. He immediately freaked out when it somehow just suddenly went viral and deleted it.)

[hxneyfarm]

woke up thinking about this post and now i have to project on my blorbos a little bit cw: bullying, homophobia, mention of parent death

steve is in the first grade when he first becomes aware of eddie munson. it's a friday, which means he's in chapel alongside all the other students at st matthew's, but this morning is different. this morning they're doing a dress rehearsal for the second graders' first communion this weekend. there's a long line of them, right up the center aisle of the chapel in alternating boy-girl order, and everybody is watching them.

most of the second graders are doing just what they should; standing with their shoulders back, hands in front of them in prayer position, awaiting their turn to get to the front of the sanctuary and take the eucharist from father hyde.

there's one boy, though, who can't seem to stand still.

ants in his pants, as steve's mother would say. and that's no good for chapel, for mass this weekend when the boy will take the holy sacrament for the first time.

he's a little smaller than the rest of his grade, scrawny almost. his hair's a mop of unruly dark curls and he's got big brown eyes that take up most of his face. his faded trousers are an inch or so too short, showing off a strip of white sock beneath. steve's father would have never let him out of the house showing white sock beneath black trousers. the boy's belt is tightened to the very last hole.

sister ignatius hovers behind the boy, just to his right, with her severe brow pulled into a scowl and her long wooden ruler clutched in her hand.

"munson better cool it," tommy whispers at steve's side. "sister ignatius is gonna get him with that ruler of hers."

but eddie munson can't stand still, and he doesn't even get to father hyde before he catches sister ignatius' ruler across the thigh. he looks like his eyes might be welling with tears after she does it, but he stills, and he forces his body to remain as still as possible until the dress rehearsal is through

--

when steve is in the fourth grade, he's chosen to play joseph in st matthew's nativity play. eddie munson - still wild, still scrawny, still incapable of being still or quiet for more than a couple of minutes at a time - has for some godawful reason been chosen as the angel gabriel.

eddie munson doesn't take anything seriously, and the nativity play is no different. during practice and rehearsal, sister ignatius has to chase him all throughout the sanctuary while he dives beneath pews and hides under the altar and inside the hollow back of the pulpit.

steve thinks eddie munson is too old to be acting like this.

when the day finally comes, though, and they perform the nativity, munson delivers. for all the screwing around he did at practice and rehearsal, he really comes through and he shines as gabriel.

he's a touch dramatic, and his voice carries a little further than the rest of them, but there's a man and a woman in the second row of pews that smile at eddie like he is the star of both of their entire worlds as he takes a bow at the end.

the woman is young, her eyes big and dark in the same way eddie munson's are, her hair big and dark and curly. eddie's mother, for sure. the man at her side, though... that's not eddie's dad. steve's not sure how he knows it, but he does.

eddie is scooped into a hug by his mother when all is said and done, and the man at her side lays a companionable hand atop his head.

it's the happiest steve has ever seen eddie munson. the calmest, the most grounded.

--

steve is in the sixth grade when he watches eddie munson get expelled from st matthews.

he heard through the grapevine that eddie's mom died over the summer. he doesn't know the specifics but munson was out of school a lot last spring. they're not friends, barely even acquaintances, so steve doesn't offer any empty condolences when he sees eddie in the hallway between classes their first day back in the fall.

by the end of the week everything falls to shit.

steve's got no idea what or who started it, but when he comes across the scene in the hallway there are three boys surrounding eddie munson. they have eddie on his knees. one boy has a hand fisted in eddie's hair, pulling his head back at an uncomfortable angle, and the two other boys are taking turns hitting him.

the boys are using words that steve has never heard before.

fag. queer. cocksucker.

eddie munson's mouth is bleeding. there's nothing behind his eyes. he looks numb, almost dead himself. the boy holding munson down tightens his hand in his hair and pulls back again.

he says to eddie, "good thing your mom died before she found out what kinda faggot her kid is, huh?" and for the briefest moment, steve sees a flash of fire in his eyes.

and then eddie spits in the face of his attacker. he sprays blood across the other boy's face and all three of them go very very still before dropping eddie in a heap on the ground and running off to find an adult.

steve considers going to eddie, helping him up off the hallway floor, but eddie munson levels him with a hard stare and says, "fuck off."

eddie doesn't come back to st matthews after that, and over the next few years steve begins to hear rumors about him; he worships the devil, he's dealing drugs. he's gay.

--

in the spring of '86, when steve pulls on eddie's battle vest in the hazy nightmare of the upside down, there's a rosary in the pocket.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hello, you're someone I've come to respect to give honest and thoughtful answers to questions that may not be 'the general consensus' and I hoped I could get your opinion on the following. I was watching a translated version of an interview JK did during his solo era and I know we need to be cautious about accuracy of tone and meaning. He said he missed being on stage with BTS but instead of it coming across as ‘I love being solo but sometimes miss them' it was more 'thanks for the solo opportunity but I still prefer being with them'. I’m a newer fan – Dec 2019 – so I don’t have years of perspective insight on their personalities like some other fans but I sensed that this moment was at odds to the ‘I want to be the biggest popstar ever’ we got shoved down our throats recently. It niggled at me to the point that this last week I've been looking back on a lot of JK content and I'm a little startled by how much evidence there is that JK hasn't ever wanted to be a soloist. It's nothing major, just lots of little comments and behaviours that paint a big picture if you look for it. I know that confirmation bias happens, that once you have an idea you look for evidence and convince yourself you're right when you find it. But the more I look the more I see JK not being the 'cocky soloist bts sell-out' that many horribly seem to have tagged him with recently but as possibly the biggest OT7 in the group who was forced into a solo project. Looking back through BTS content, I'm actually a little startled how many times he says he prefers being on stage with the others than doing a solo performance. We all know he’s said he wants to be in BTS till they are old men, that he wants RM to always be leader (a little strange for the supposed soloist), he looked almost terrified when he found out that Dreamers was a solo project, he always hovers in the background in BTS content (again strange for THE soloist), and there is an overall impression he hates being on his own and is very much an introvert. He seems happy to show off his voice for solo material providing it’s mainly in a studio or a familiar/homely setting and he can get back to the group activities asap. There are many other things out there but I’m glossing to save word count. Now, looking back at his latest solo venture with an idea that maybe he didn’t even want to do it, the story becomes very different but I’d argue makes as much sense as the (horrible) current rhetoric. For years, the expectation from BigHit/Hybe/Armies is that JK could and should be the new global superstar. And let's be absolutely honest here, JK has the talent to be the biggest artist in the world if he wanted. I'm just wondering if he doesn't actually want it? That he just wants to sing and be the main vocalist for BTS – and while he enjoys being told he has the best voice and ‘could’ be a global superstar – he actually doesn’t want that, for whatever reason. If he didn’t want a big solo career and he put in some resistance to keep his career from going astronomical it explains some of the weirdness around his solo era – and choices. I’ve seen others mention a weird dichotomy with some of the choices made and I wonder, now, if it was down to a push and pull between JK and Hybe. Hybe wanted to rocket launch him into stardom and JK wanted a limit that didn’t put him in jeopardy of losing BTS as his main focus. I have to admit I get a chuckle out of the idea of JK dragging his heels writing an album to the point Hybe are like you will have a global solo project even if I have to get a western producer to write it for you. Then JK coming back with the trump card of, well, you do that and I’ll play along but oops I’ve applied early for the military so *timelimit* but hey I’ll be back in time for the promised BTS comeback! Obviously that’s some serious conjecture and I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek but I guess, what I’m ultimately wondering, is if this kind of conversation has ever hit your radar? Or if it’s something you’ve wondered yourself?

***

"Obviously that’s some serious conjecture and I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek"

I'm grateful for the small show of self-awareness. Really.

Thank you for taking the time to write all that. It helped me better understand your point of view, and while I can see where you're coming from, I disagree with many of the assumptions you've made and what you conclude.

First off, why is it so difficult to imagine Jungkook as a global pop star while active in BTS and fitting seamlessly in a group that keeps reaching new heights? Why must it be a zero sum game of one or the other? Why is it so difficult for people to believe this is a reality Jungkook might envision and work towards?

I've said before that I think Jungkook is a very simple and honest person. When he says something it's usually what he means. If you want to understand Jungkook, the easiest way is to simply listen to him. Anon, you said you don't get the impression that Jungkook wants to be a global pop star, but I think he does. There's an interview from 2020 that I strongly suggest you read in full. It explains so much of the kind of person Jungkook is. It made me fall a little more in love with him. The article is linked here but the excerpt I want to highlight is this:

Jung Kook: I think my heart’s telling me to. BTS was able to climb this high thanks to the group members, the company and our fans. But there’s always the question of whether I could receive that kind of recognition by myself, so I have this feeling of wanting to throw myself at some challenge alone. There’s a lot I want to do, and a lot I want to achieve.

By gradually improving yourself, what kind of person would you ideally want to become? Jung Kook: A person who’s crazy awesome in their field. (laughs) Those kinds of people look cool even when they do something different. I still have a long way to go. I feel like I could be more captivating and draw more out of people by improving any number of things, by trying hard to be confident about my singing, or the way I dance and perform. BTS is way more important and meaningful to me than I am to myself, so I’m not saying I want to do anything alone. But I hope I get to the point where I can perform alone for three or four hours in a venue full of people.

Italicized for emphasis.

Like I said, I honestly think anybody who is shocked by what they're seeing in Chapter 2 for any member, probably just wasn't really paying attention before. That's not a diss it's just what I think.

We agree that Jungkook has more than enough talent to be a global pop star; we agree that at the end of the day, going by his choices to enlist so much earlier than he needed to, among other things, Jungkook indeed prioritizes the group. But it's only in a fandom filled with insecure twats that Jungkook simply saying he wants to be a global pop star is treated like he denied the holocaust. In my opinion. Jungkook could be the biggest pop star and Jimin would be right there with him. On his own merits. Owning the world with him because they are BTS. Solos are obsessed with sorting out the popularity of the members within the group, but they forget that BTS are too ambitious to ever make it easy for the world to care about anything but them. I take issue with the very idea that Jungkook being the biggest pop star is somehow problematic for a group like BTS. Even more so when this is apparently the reality BTS have all agreed to, enough to renew their exclusive contracts early, twice.

I think you have a point about all the times Jungkook appears kinda reluctant to do a solo gig though. I mean, he's said it himself that he's actually kinda shy and feels most comfortable with the guys. They're all like that, you know? That's the thing about BTS that it seems only ARMYs get. BTS actually want to remain together, in a system designed to pull them apart. That's why they're one of the few anomalies in this ecosystem, an anomaly the system keeps trying to both replicate and eliminate.

Jungkook feels most comfortable performing with the guys, but he also has a desire to establish himself as a solo artist. I assume this is something everybody in BTS, Bang PD / HYBE, and Jungkook himself understands. Rather than the company dictating solo goals for Jungkook, I think this is something Jungkook is involved in and partly responsible for. As are the other members.

I'm already rambling but what I mean to say is that I think a lot of the discourse around Jungkook's actions in Chapter 2 have been either ignorant or in bad faith. And I think that's unfair to him given it came from his own fandom.

The only real disappointment I got from Jungkook in Chapter 2 is that his solo album didn't have a song he wrote or produced, especially when I know he'd done both several times before. I understand writing a song in a language he doesn't speak can make a difficult task even more intimidating. But I also think he just kinda choked. He'd been building expectations for his solo debut for three years and had to deliver something epic. But between the Busan concert, World Cup, OSTs, enlistment announcements/planning, etc I wouldn't be surprised if he just got overwhelmed and by the time he got his bearings he felt he didn't have enough time and got stuck. That sounds kinda long-winded but it's something I've seen happen often and a feeling I've experienced myself.

Sometimes people just get stuck. It takes a mini-intervention to get the ball rolling again. In this case, and to use a reference from the article above, Jungkook decided to tackle the idea of introducing himself as a solo artist, a bit at a time. In Golden we're given a selection of his pop tastes, songs that he feels represents him, in his beautiful voice. Bang PD gave him a challenge of an all English album and Jungkook more than delivered. Would I have preferred more direct involvement from him? Of course, and it's what I expect in his next project. But for his first work I'll excuse it given he does such a phenomenal job in his vocal delivery and the songs are bops.

Anyway, I appreciate that you felt there was something off in the bad rep Jungkook has been getting, and actually did the work of going back to watch original content. I just disagree with some assumptions you've made along the way because in my view, it's unneeded. Jungkook is very clear about the kind of person he is and what he wants for himself and BTS.