#so YMMV on which ending you like better

[ladyloveandjustice]

Mental Illness in Anime

I saw someone say Komi Can't Communicate is the only anime they've ever seen that talks about mental illness and that's kinda sad, so for you to not end in the same boat, I've decided to put together an overview of mental illness in anime, what I'd recommend, what comes with caveats, and so on.

It's a little nebulous what "talks about mental illness" means as lots of anime depict characters who are very obviously depressed, traumatized and even suicidal (suicide will be mentioned a lot in this list, so watch out for that), but don't directly name mental illness. It is very stigmatized in Japan, even moreso than many other countries, you don't see much talk about therapy and so on.

However, naturally there are many Japanese people who are mental health advocates, and I found an interview with Makoto Kageyama, a mental health awareness advocate who volunteered at Aokigahara forest. He points out anime he feels deal with mental illness. One we'll cover fully, many of them I haven't watched:

I think the most accurate and positive portrayals I got were actually from Kiriyama Rei (March Comes in Like a Lion), Naruse Jun (The Anthem of the Heart), Miyamura Miyako (ef: A Tale of Memories), Takeya Yuki (School-Live!) and Smile (Ping Pong: The Animation)

I'm super open to suggestions for additions, and might be adding them as reblogs and under the cut.

I'll also be making a post on mental illness in manga if this post does well, which I will link here when I post it.

So I'll start:

Anime that directly discusses mental illness:

March Comes in Like a Lion- not only is the main character one of the most accurate depictions of depression I've ever seen, it's the rare anime that actually talks about counseling, showing a traumatized character attending counseling and slowly getting back on her feet.

Orange--it...certainly is about mental illness, but it's a pretty mixed/problematic one because it seems to be confused by how mental illness works at times. It centers around a character who's suicidally depressed and his friend's efforts to save him after receiving a time travel message about his future suicide. It also does mention offhand that this character was supposed to go to therapy and is skipping out at one point. But yeah, how it handles it is...not always great. It kind of gives an impression that if you try hard enough you can "fix" someone's suicidal depression. With friendship. I guess. You have been warned.

I haven't watched it in a really long time, so it might even be worse than I remember. But I'm including it bc I definitely cried and felt parts of it were very relatable when I saw it way back when. so there's some resonant stuff there.

Monster: Kind of mixed, but it's definitely notable as an anime that not only has a psychiatrist as a major character, but also shows prominent characters going to therapy and getting better. Characters go to him for alcoholism, depression, PTSD (PTSD is not named but yeah it's definitely PTSD). At one point he helps a main character recover some repressed traumatic memories.

What makes it mixed is that while several heroes definitely are mentally ill in some way, the (complex) antagonist of the series also has some sort of mental health condition , and the story is often weirdly muddled about it. At one point they make it out like he has Dissociative Identity Disorder (calling it "split personality") but then he never shows any symptoms of that and it's kind of dropped and not bought up again. He does definitely have repressed traumatic memories though, so maybe that's all they were getting at but said it very badly.

A heroic character that actually seems to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and YMMV in how it's handled and how accurate it is. It's a "the other personality is violent" one, but rather than the other personality being evil, it's. a defense mechanism, and the violence is always in self defense or defense of others..

Sort of names the problem:

My New Boss is Goofy: One of the main characters is recovering from an abusive boss, and definitely has anxiety attacks and flashbacks as a result. This is directly named as "trauma" (though much like in the West where the loan word came from, anime characters use the words to refer to minor things that aren't mental illness too. But in this case it's treated very seriously). At any rate, the entire anime is about others helping the MC slowly recover with his new boss and friends showing immense compassion for his anxiety and other problems. Here's a good article going into it!

Anime that focuses on social anxiety:

I think what stands out about Komi is that it directly says she has a communication disorder, but tons of anime focus on characters with social anxiety, and even state what the problem is directly.

Bocchi the Rock- The girl with the social anxiety is the main character and not the bland self insert guy who has a crush on her?, amazing. it lets her be a mess too? whaaat. Yeah, Bocchi does say directly she has severe social anxiety, and the series is very relatable in how it explores that. There are a lot of gags about it, but in a knowing, sympathetic way. Her recovery is realistically slow, and sometimes she backslides. She talks directly about her social anxiety, using the term.

Tsuritama: MC's social anxiety is so bad he can have panic attacks when people talk to him...the attacks are also represented in this really interesting way where they have water come in to drown him.

My Roommate is a Cat: Man dealing with social anxiety slowly recovers with the help of his cat. It's cute. Here's an article going into it!

Anime that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonates:

Natsume's Book of Friends: I wrote an entire article about how relatable it is to me and my mental illness, how it uses the characters seeing yokai as metaphor for mental ilness at times (Natsume was textually mistreated by so-called guardians who thought he "wasn't right in the head" and his grandmother was often called that too) but also Natsume shows a lot of textual symptoms of trauma (possibly PTSD), depression and so on, and they're explored very poignantly. Here is my article: “The Courage to Speak”: Mental illness and recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Probably one of the most poignant explorations of what it means to be depressed and traumatized as a teenage girl. Several moments with Utena herself resonate, starting with when she was a child and declares she doesn't want to go on living, Anthy is also...dealing with a lot, and it's powerful how the show goes into it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion-- Many characters in it show symptoms of mental illness. Though it isn't named as depression directly (i think?), but Shinji shows every symptom you can think of, and the director Anno has said that he was extremely depressed while making it and channeled a lot of that into the characters, and we definitely see his mental journey for the better very strongly reflected in the reboot.

Kyousougiga: One of the main characters is suicidally depressed (this one is graphic, because he commits suicide on screen...only it turns out he can't die), and his journey towards becoming okay with living is a focus and was very resonant to me.

She and Her Cat: A short anime about a girl who definitely has depression and how her cat helps her. Rather simplistic ending but it's good otherwise. CW animal death too, but in a very gentle way.

Haibane Renmei: It deals with suicidal depression and other mental health struggles in a pretty intense way, it's touching, but if you have triggers consider looking into it.

Fruits Basket: Truly a cocktail of mental illnesses among the cast. YMMV on how it's handled but some parts really resonate. These articles go into it:

The Always Smiling Girl: How Tohru critiques toxic positivity

“A Man Who Can Experience His Feelings”: Fruits Basket, toxic masculinity, and mental health

Colorful: This is a submission from Nickyenchilada from the notes of this post: "I would also recommend the movie/novel Colorful. I think YMMV on how it handles the central issue of suicide but I think it does portray how even kids can be thrust into very complex situations without necessary outlets for coping with them."

Vinland Saga: This was an addition I got from a discord conversation, the entire second season explore the main character's PTSD

Yuri on Ice- A conversation on discord reminded me that a lot of people read Yuri as having an anxiety disorder, which I can totally see!

A Silent Voice- a submission from @boku-no-anime-phase who says: "I think it deserves its own shout out! This movie is nuanced, gentle, beautifully told and brimming with hope. I love the fact that just like in real life, things don't resolve particularly easily; but the characters make important progress that's rewarding to watch. TW for suicide discussion, ideation and attempt".

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "YMMV but there's an arc that deals with bullying and memory loss where a character who deals with those things is supported and encouraged through it".

My Happy Marriage - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "also YMMV but I think there were some lovely moments in this where you can see Miyo beginning to heal from her trauma and abuse, and learn to trust."

Anime Feminist has a whole host of articles on mental health in anime and they're all here. It covers a lot of different anime I don't know about or didn't mention and offers a lot of cool perspectives, so check 'em out! Here's a few that stuck out to me:

Finding Inner Magic: Depression in The Ancient Magus’ Bride

(I don't like this anime's narrative due to the issue with the ending pointed out in this article, but it did have resonant moments of exploring depression).

How Clean Freak! Aoyama-kun compassionately handles mental illness

The Sound of Depression: Liminal spaces, sound design, and Super Cub

From Yandere Girlfriends to Social Anxiety: Handling mental illness in The Future Diary and A Silent Voice

Footnote on Hikikomori in anime:

Any anime that focuses on Hikikomori characters are dealing with characters that are mentally ill, as being so depressed/traumatized/agoraphobic/anxious you can't even leave your room or house is obviously not mentally healthy. But what really matters is how that’s handled and if these issues are explained, as Makoto Kageyama notes:

Usually, the most common issues I’ve seen covered is the “hikikomori phenomena” and light eating disorders. Basically, a bullied character that becomes a recluse out of social anxiety, but… The characters don’t usually get shown correctly, since their issues are not explained properly and basically it ends up with a “Hey, see? People are not that bad, we are your friends!” and “Yay, I have friends, I am cured and I can trust others again!” Which is not the case, because real hikikomori can take a lot of talk and patience to get them out and when they get back to normal society (if they do), they become very wary of others. And ironically, “hikikomori” has also been used as a “moe trait” in anime even though it’s a mental health issue.

One I saw a lot of people namedrop as handling it well when I googled around was Welcome to the NHK, though I haven't seen it. But, if you look at Nickyenchilada's take in the comments to this post, it's mentioned as being resonant and it's noted that the recovery is not an easy fix, and it's also noted that several characters in the story are mentally ill.

Bonus list:

Neurodiversity in Anime- (that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonate)

I initially didn't include a neurodiversity section in this post because I honestly could not think of any anime that directly talks about neurodiversity or has a textually neurodivergent character.

(However, there are manga that actually do! I pointed some out in my Mental Illness and Neurodiversity in Manga post I did to complement this one!)

You can also read some articles about neurodiversity in anime here

And the list of characters that can simply be read as neurodivergent is huge, and if I tried to list every popular read it would be endless, plus I don't feel comfortable "diagnosing" any characters with developmental disorders I don't personally have. However, I am willing to take suggestions from others on this one, so here are a few!

Mob Psycho 100 - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says " Mob is autistic and I will die on this hill; the trouble he has with fitting in, relating to others and knowing the right things to do imo stems directly from that."

Princess Jellyfish - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says "I'd be willing to bet that all the women who live in that apartment are neurodivergent. They all have their special interests and they live together in mutual neurodivergent infodumping bliss and it's wonderful. (Unrelated but TW for sexual assault and some transphobia)"

Chihayafuru- submission by @noisepartythumpingmusic who says "It's never noted explicitly, but I firmly believe the main character of Chihayafuru has ADHD, which is perfect for a main character of a sports" josei. As someone who does have ADHD, I personally can totally see that read of Chihaya (the main character)!

Anti-recommendations (as in seems potentially resonant but then drop the ball hard, because if I listed all the anime that's blatantly gross about mental illness from the second the subject comes up we'd be here all day) (Dead Dove Do Not Eat)

Wonder Egg Priority: Starts out like it's going to be a nuanced exploration of recovering from abuse, suicidal depression, and so on, only to end up incredibly stupid and offensive. The writer also believes some stupid and misogynist things about "reasons" girls commit suicide. This article goes into it a little.

Your Lie In April: Depiction of depression and trauma is completely undermined by how all the characters tell the MC he needs to get over it because his talent for piano is more important, and the clumsy, gross take on forgiving your abuser, and so many other things. This article goes into it.

---

And that's it for now! Again. I might be updating this with new stuff based on feedback or me remembering something I missed, through both updates and adding stuff under the cut.

[shortpplfedup]

Man it has been weird talking about QL lately because the Calvinism has been jumping out in fandom. Lots of 'deserve' talk and a whole lot of the idea that there are prerequisites to romance. And not in the sense of discussing narrative structure or character development or dramatic effect, all of which are both expected and welcome in a community of people who watch and discuss stories for fun. But the 'I don't like this so it shouldn't exist' has been rampant lately.

The point of stories is to help us all understand the world and each other better, not just to reinforce and entrench our personal beliefs or create moral cul de sacs. Romance stories aren't relationship manuals, they're not best practice or 'how-to' guides, they're not anything but stories about two or more fictional people who you may or may not personally identify with falling for one another and trying to figure out if or how to be together. As a student of humanity I find that mostly fascinating to watch happen in as many permutations as I can get. 'I don't like this' is a perfectly valid reaction, this is literally why fandom invented the term YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary. It's to remind us that we all see and experience the world very differently. But 'I don't like this so it shouldn't exist' is how the fash wins y'all, remember that.

I think about this kind of thing a lot doing a show unpacking romantic stories with three other people, all with varying mileage on romance and storytelling. And we...disagree! And have strong feelings because of personal experiences! Sometimes people even get mad! But while we might question the point of a story, or even drag the ever living fuck out of it because we hate it so much (here's looking at you The Shipper 🤣) in the end we assign these stories their place in our various firmaments and we go out and touch our various literal and figurative patches of grass. To remind ourselves that the world is vast and full of things we like, and when we don't like something we can just say 'well jeez, I didn't like that' and leave it right there. And it works!

What am I saying? Idk exactly. Y'all seem stressed. Go outside.

[petermorwood]

Hi, Peter! I am tossing this question at you, but I hope Diane and some other writers will toss it around, too. Do you still draft your work in longhand? What is it like? I'm asking this as someone who has written by keyboard only for almost 20 years, but started keeping a longhand journal again about four years ago. I'm feeling so blocked that I wonder if I could take up longhand creative writing again.

This got well buried, but better late than never!

I certainly do, much more than @dduane. (She makes a lot of notes in LH, but not much in the way of drafts.)

I've heard / read complaints about longhand (and typewriter) drafting that "you can't correct mistakes". Usually what this means is "you can't delete and over-write".

You can. Use one of these.

The first lays white masking fluid over the error, the other two do it with a strip of white tape, and after a few seconds to let the fluid dry, or immediately with the tape, you can re-write over the top.

I'm sure some people also remember the Tipp-Ex / Liquid Paper paint-pots with brushes, and the little sheets of white-backed correction paper used with typewriters. (Some, like my cartridge-ribbon Smith-Corona, even had a correction cartridge.)

*****

A more usual method with pen or typewriter drafting is strikethrough.

The mistake is still there, of course, and IMO that's not a bug, it's a feature and - so I've found, anyway - makes me think a bit more about what I'm going to write down before pen to paper or finger to key.

Besides, the "wrong" (often first) choice of word may well turn out to be the "right" choice of word after all, once the rest of the paragraph has developed. YMMV, but it happens often enough.

It's also why proper MS format is double-spaced.

In working drafts, this leaves room to add a correction, often using different colours of ink, which can even be done with a typewriter if it has a black-red ribbon.

In a final draft, double-space (and a clear, non-fussy font like Courier or Times Roman) is easier on an editor or test-reader's eyes.

All the business of fancy fonts, typesetting, end of chapter and between-paragraph glyphs * etc. happens afterwards.

*****

* The section-break symbol or "dinkus", can be as simple as one or several asterisks, but may be a fancy little curlicue called a "fleuron" or - if a book has a high enough profile - a appropriate custom design.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Thanks for all your fascinating information!

I'm really intrigued by the theory that QE fired the Sussex pair. Was this something the media suggested? And did you ever find anything to support the rumour?

No, this was a rumor that came out of leaks from Sussex friendlies to explain why Harry kept/keeps saying “you know what you did” when demanding apologies from the BRF.

The rumor does have some legs, because Lady C has talked about it a few times. (I don’t listen to Lady C or take what she says with any kind of seriousness, but YMMV.)

Personally I think the rumor is plausible. In my view, there’s a lot of evidence that seems to suggest that something happened in mid-November concerning the Sussexes’ workload:

Looking at the Court Circular from late 2019 and the kind of media coverage they were getting - Meghan stopped working after Remembrance Day events and I believe Harry had just one event from mid-November to the end of the year.

The timing of the Sussexes announcing they wouldn’t spend Christmas 2019 at Norfolk - I believe it was the same time as the diplomatic reception (or thereabouts); so quite early in the calendar and overlapping one of the monarchy’s more important annual events.

Harry and Meghan didn’t go to the pre-Christmas palace luncheon in 2019. And I kinda feel like that’s a really big FU to The Queen. It’s fine to miss Christmas but to not show up to the one event where the whole family gathers specifically to have a Christmas celebration with everyone, that’s feels intentional and spiteful.

Whether The Queen fired the Sussexes or the grey suits sidelined them or they “quiet quit,” I honestly don’t know. But something went down, and whatever it was, it was big enough that Harry and Meghan noped out of the family then and there.

My personal theory is that they were caught with Netflix cameras in November 2019, which was strike 3, and The Queen/Grey Suits/whoever used Meghan’s comments in the Bradby interview about how stressed out she was to force the Sussexes to take brief holiday (I feel like maybe it was spun as “go see your mom and friends for American Thanksgiving”) and then the Sussexes caught wind of the plan to celebrate “The Queen and 3 Heirs” when Harry was in town for that one early December event and, well, we know the rest.

(Because I know someone will ask:

Strike 1 - the “no one asked me if I’m okay” pity party documentary and their behavior in South Africa

Strike 2 - the 3 or 4 press lawsuits they filed

Camilla was meant to open the Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey in Nov 2019 and would be accompanied by Harry and Meghan. Camilla pulled out at the last second, citing a cold, and then Meghan showed up with some of the most glammest hair and makeup she’s ever had that was very uncharacteristic of her at this point. (Now it’s possible that maybe Meghan was feeling a bit down and decided getting her hair and makeup done would help her feel better. That’s totally fine and I support anyone who likes the mood boost that glamming up can give. But a solemn event commemorating the war dead isn’t the time and place.)

[silviakundera]

with the conclusion of Snowfall...

why do i enjoy Republican Era chinese dramas so much?

aesthetics! there is this blend of 1920-30s western fashion influences and traditional chinese garb & architecture that just pleases my eyes.

everyone looks very depressed & dangerous & sexy

chaotic period of transition - no matter if you're in the 1910's, 20's, 30's some absolutely wild historical shit was going down

cars and guns and gloves and swords. rotary phones!

dancing & drinking in night clubs, in glamorous pockets amid the violence & instability outside; a lil touch of mask of the red death vibes

end of empire themes, as a country tries to find its way after the end of the last imperial dynasty

there's those gangster, mob boss vibes from american and british dramas set in the 1920s, except everything is cranked up x100 because of general lawlessness; central government and law & order was a paper thin veneer over warlords

the start of WW2 from an entirely different perspective than the common narratives that I was exposed to growing up in the US (which is 99% stories about the european stage)

sino-japanese war / war of resistance material like Hidden Blade is fucking badass ok 🤷

in a time of resistance to occupation, colonizers encroaching, warlords fighting over cities, brewing civil war.... there are many different options of protagonists and unlikely "heroes" who are picking their battles and discovering what they are willing to fight for

Beautiful 👏 women 👏 in heels 👏and 👏 slinky 👏dresses 👏

Lots of revenge narratives. I love an over-the-top, bloodthirsty & destructive revenge narrative

Depending on the genre, there might be little or heavy politcal /patriotic discourse. But tbh none of the rah rah patriotism stuff distracts me much, because all the american and british produced stuff set around WW2 has rah rah patriotism & propaganda in it, so I just consider that part of the essential genre vibes. It's just another country's version. (Of course, others will have less patience when it becomes heavy-handed. YMMV.)

Dark & Gritty

Hidden Blade (film) - a masterpiece, if you enjoy dark WW2 spy films that play with narrative style and challenge the viewer to follow the story as it's woven. Had to review detailed historical context for the years in question, to be ready to consume. But worth it. I've watched it 3 times. 💀

Heroes (2024) - the very beginning era of this genre/the transition into repulican period. rocks fall, everyone dies. Primarily a tragic wuxia & pre-republican fusion. Excellent enough that I didn't mind the bleak storyline. 💀

Detective-ing

Miss S - adaption of 1920s Australian mystery procedural Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, staring Vengo! ML actor of Snowfall

Checkmate - Agatha Christie stories adapted to the setting & time period, plus bromance. I watched half the episodes w my brother, as we are both huge agatha christie fans. It was fun if you can be chill about adaption changes.

My Roommate is A Detective - for mystery & bromance lovers. Same actor duo as Checkmate.

Detective L - don't know much about this one tbh

Romance arc, with a somewhat happy ending for the 2 leads

Provoke - Gorgeous, glamorous, vibes vibes vibes all day long. Revenge and romance. ❤

Fall in Love - sons & daughters of warlords and their supporters get sexy and dangerous and decide even joining the civil war is better than the prior generation's bullshit. This is an objectively bad drama that I really enjoyed anyway (it helps that I skipped every scene for the 2nd and 3rd couples). This one turns v propaganda heavy at the end, if that bothers you. ❤

Arsenal Military Academy - military training hijinks w a side of cross dressing romance. Xu Kai and Bai Lu! It's soliders and japanese invasion et al, so be prepared for the standard patriotism. Comedy & drama. HE for the FL/ML but expect character death in this subject matter. ❤

Rookie Agent Rogue - Late 1930s spy drama with small romance side-plot. Expect the standard wartime patriotism, like with Arsenal Military Academy. The draw is the lead actress, the FL from Princess Agents, Minglan, Legend of Shen Li. HE for the FL/ML but expect character death in this subject matter. ❤

City of Streamer - Older woman seduces younger man who is the son of her revenge target. Melodrama with people serving looks. ❤

War of Faith* - Young man just wants to join the banking industry and have a subtextually gay relationship with his mentor in peace, but there's a civil war going on. Protagonist would like to be excluded from this political narrative, but ultimately is forced to pick a side. ❤🌈 *(Is it censored gay romance? No, not based on a gay novel. So not officially! But some viewers felt there was a subtextual romance storyline #shenlai ; YMMV. The happy ending is Untamed-esque; implied only)

many, many pulpy mini-dramas about revenge! warlords! ladies with pistols! (Miss Mystery, First Marriage, Maid's Revenge, etc)

Also... (happy ending not guaranteed)

Siege in Fog

Love in Flames of War

Couple of Mirrors - censored F/F 🌈

Stand by Me - censored m/m 🌈

Killer and Healer - censored m/m 🌈

Winter Begonia - censored m/m 🌈

[egophiliac]

Hello! Sorry to bother but do you have any digital art tips? I’m quite new to it and any tips, tricks or advice would be helpful! Your coloring style is very beautiful and I love it a lot!

thank you! 💚💚💚 sorry this is a bit late, hopefully there's still something helpful in it!

(also, it got pretty long, sorry!)

I think the biggest thing is to just take things slow -- digital art feels different than drawing traditionally, and it's SUPER easy to get overwhelmed by the billions of cool features that the digital world offers. (I say, as someone who spends a lot of time downloading cool brushes and textures...and then never using them ever.) there is a ton of really cool stuff you can do digitally, but because there's so much, I think it's really important to take time to figure out what is and isn't working for you. spend some time doodling without any intent to do a finished piece, figure out how you like to hold (or not hold) your tablet, what keyboard shortcuts you end up using a lot (and therefore might want to map to your pen/tablet buttons for quicker use)...that kind of thing!

everyone's workflow and preferred program and style are different, so it's hard to give hard-and-fast general advice. but the things that I think of as the essentials for learning digital art programs, and what I think of as a good order to focus on learning them in (although YMMV, especially depending on what kind of art you're doing):

brush customization (e.g. flow, opacity, softness)

layers and layer masks

selections and transformations (e.g. scale, rotate, flip horizontal/vertical, skew) (skew is underrated and I will die on that hill)

blending modes (e.g. multiply, screen)

adjustments/adjustment layers (e.g. hue/saturation, curves)

and I think most stuff after that is gravy! often very good gravy though! but yeah, as overall advice I recommend just taking things one little bit at a time, spending some time just drawing and messing around with each feature and what you can do with it. whether or not you end up incorporating any of it into your workflow, it's always good to try things out and just see how they feel! :D

and just so there is at least a little more concrete helpfulness in here, here's a few more specific things that I think are super important to keep in mind!

use! your! tablet/pen buttons! I mentioned this earlier, but they are extremely useful for keyboard shortcuts that you use often! most programs will also let you create new shortcuts for other things -- personally, I use the magic wand tool to fill in big color blocks a lot, so I made shortcuts for 'expand selection' and 'fill' and then mapped them to my tablet buttons.

flop your work horizontally often! when you're working on something, you get used to the way it looks, so seeing it mirrored is a quick way to see it with fresh eyes! in my experience, it often feels like this:

(a common thing is to find that everything is sort of 'leaning' too much one way, which is where skew really comes in handy!) (seriously, I love skew, it is my savior)

if you're working with color, keep a hue/saturation adjustment layer (or a layer filled with black or white and set to Color) on top and toggle it on occasionally to check your values! a lot of people who know a lot more about color than me (and are better at putting it into words) have written about why values are so important, so all I'll say is that the rule of thumb is that your image should still be readable in greyscale:

there are some exceptions and grey areas (do ho ho), but it's a good general rule to keep in mind! (some programs also have a colorblind mode, so you can check to see how your work will look to someone with colorblindness!)

and finally, here's some digital art programs I recommend, if you're still looking for a good one!

free: krita, FireAlpaca

paid: ClipStudio, Procreate (iOS/iPad only)

[salvagesmha]

Altering the Final War's Battlefields

With the series done, one of the few things that took me until now to get to was basically a bit of a revamp of the Second War battlefields.

The problem with them in the long run for me is that, LOV members aside, there was just...no other major villain established in those fields to really give a shit about or really have a sense of dread about.

One of the major differences between the 1st and 2nd War is that, regardless of how you feel about the results of the 1st War, waltzing into it you understood that the Villains were very credible, established threats.

The League of Villains and their upgraded powers, the MLA top brass and knowing what havoc just one of them could do, the High End Nomus that lay in waitin production thanks to Ujiko, Gigantomachia being a living disaster, 100K soldiers who we know should be on par with regular Heroes from training and have put the LOV on the backfoot. YMMV on how the 1st War turned out, but walking in there was some solid anticaption and intrigue in how these elements would be used....

The Second War does not have that. Why? Because Horikoshi kinda just...gutted the PLF and didn't reaaaaaaallly bring suitable, built-up replacements for them?

High Ends that have personality and can think? Nope, back to just the dumbass Nomus who are just rampaging monsters...that's it.

The PLF soldiers? Literally just 100 people now and, even then, the jailbreakers they got to replace them are just...well, nothing, like I talked about here.

The top brass of the LOV/PLF? Most who could provide interesting fights or intrigue were taken away for just Skeptic...whose regulated back 'hackerman' only.

Replacing them are either AFO's Assassins or Advisors who are just ether not developed at all or just came in too late, beaten too quick and used too little to care about. Thus, it really makes them feel totally irrelevent to the other stuff going around during the war.

For all the talk of the Heroes being at a disadvantage, it certainly did not feel so with just...6 of the bad guys out of a hundred or so people would really care about.. As such, my list below is basically having major Villains take the spots of the Jailbreakers/Advisors as 'Bosses' of their fields so as to give each place a solid Villain to get invested in. In addition, also adding in more returning Villains to help make each place to feel 'alive' in a sense.

If you wanna see how I'd use the Advisors, for the most part (there's a few changes here), look here.

Central Hospital:

This is the most blatant change I feel works for the story better is Trumpet being the ‘Boss’ (or well, one of the Bosses) of Central Hospital. One of the issues in the that battle came about from Disgustus being shoved into two contradictory roles. The first, up until the midway through the battle, is an advocate of mutants that seemed to be genuinely hurt and bitter from the discrimination he’s implied to have gotten (as evidence by his scar)...except then we get to the second half. Which has his internal thoughts filled with how the PLF were just using the mob they gathered as tools and makes him just cartoonishly corrupt. 

Instead of him being forced into both, I think a good idea would have been for Trumpet to take the reigns as the corrupt leader, acting as a false sympathizer for the Heteromorphs, and Disgustus to remain as a genuine, if disdainful extremist. It gives a mook of the PLF more depth since it reminds the audience that a lot of the Villains walked down the path due to rough lives, and allows for their still to be a scummy Villain still to stop. Heck, I feel using Trumpet as the Boss also just makes some of the plot feel more coherent, since he can use his Quirk to not only boost the mob, but make them too frenzied up to really listen or notice something being off (like Spinner clearly being out of it due to the additional Quirks) or notice him clearly covering his ass.

In this case, it’s Shoji and Koda beating Trumpet that could allow for the mob splinter to really begin and stall, with the pig guy’s group merely being the final blow to crack the facade for good. As for Disgustus and the rest of Spinner’s crew, they can be defeated right before they could enter the hospital. Something that hurts Shoji and the others badly enough that the mob genuinely could have killed them if not for pig guy. Heck, to help with this option, I also raise Chimera from movie 2 to return, acting as extra muscle for the crowd and, given his own experience being discriminated against, be another pillar of change get the crowd motivated. While Shoji loses the first encounter against Chimera, this second time, he barely manages to defeat him and is in danger of being killed when help arrives.

On a minor note, more of the USJ crew returns, mainly the Heteromorphic side as well, perhaps trying to spread the idea that, from the beginning, the League of Villains was just trying to raise awareness and change…even though that was very much not the case XD

Boss: Spinner, Trumpet

Jailbreaker: Chimera

Advisors: Spinner’s Advisors

Return: Steel Bulwark, Invisible Wall, Chomper, Greedy Gaping Jaw

Okuto Island

Given this is Toga’s battlefield, there’s not quite too many changes I’d make here. I think the most blatant that could be done is make Moonfish, whose acting as the ‘Jailbreaker’ for the Okuto Villains, more prominent. If Kunieda and Gashly are allowed to wipe out or fend off multiple Heroes, than a guy whose supposed to be on par with them should really be allowed to cut loose and be more of a massive thorn for their side. Plus, since I also think League members should at least get at least a significant send-off, I think Tsu being the one to take him down would be a good way of giving her something major to do. In this case, Tsu uses her wits and camouflage to bait Moon into being more careless with his attacks. Something that leads to him leaving himself open to being stunned by her poison mucus before being knocked out.

Another change I’d make is including Eleph from the High Ends on this battlefield. I think it’d hit the point home how much of a gamble splitting hte Villains up from each other was, as there was always a chance one Villain could have a real advantage wherever they got sent to. In this case, Eleph’s quirk allowed him to suck in water to make fierce hydro attacks at his foes. 

On a lesser note, I’m also for Hanzo Suiden/USJ water thug to add to his mayhem since it should have been high priority for that water fucker to at do something threatening given that battlefield was his advantage. Perhaps’s he’s teaming up with Eleph to help boost the Nomu’s attacks? 

Likewise, for the Advisors section, I’m all for Toga having her #1 Advisor at the scene to help add to the pressure of Okuto.

Boss: Toga

Jailbreaker: Moonfish

Return: Hanzo Suiden, Minotaurus

Nomu: Eleph

Advisors: Toga’s #1 Advisor 

Kamino Ward:

Given that the purpose of this place is that it doesn’t have any Major Jailbreakers, only real major tweak I would make for this is that Ribby replaces the NHE here. I think it’d be fitting if the High End assigned to Dabi was also an ax-crazy killer Nomu that wouldn’t give a shit to being set on fire and is just enjoying the chaos of the War. SImilar to the anime, Ida’s attacks with Ribby, alongside someone like Burnin, are what eventually gets him to go down.

Honestly, I’d probably include Starservant and Ending since both were Dabi’s grunts during the EA arc, and it’d be nice for them to assist their boss once more. Plus, both fit the theme of being crazed Villains unconcerned for their lives, like the other two above as well. Not that I think they’d be a major help, but it’d give some familiar faces the audience would recognize and help care more about the battlefields beyond just the final Boss taking up a major focus.

Boss: Dabi

Nomu: Ribby

Return: Starservant, Ending, Sharkyonara (RIP poor bastard), One-Eyed Green Dragon, Sickle Claw

Advisor: Dabi’s 1st ranker

Jaku Ruins:

To take the place of Skully of the Jaku Ruins battlefield, I raise you Geten. Honestly, I think this is the most natural choice as the Face of Jaku Ruins given how Skully shares Geten’s ‘Quirk Makes Right’ mindset and I think it’d hit more for Mina trying to reason with Geten about how both were fighting for their fallen mentors (in this case Re-Destro) than her trying to resonate with a character who hasn’t really been given his due at all. It’d especially hit harder given RD is basically Geten’s Dad too, so ice boy’s attempts at freeing Machia is coming from a placed of enraged love like Mina had.

As the Jailbreaker of Jaku, I raise Slice as being the sort, mostly to act as a villain against Mina, and would be in a similarm indset to geten about trying to avenge a loss loved one + getting payback on Mina while she was at it since it was her acid that cost her the first fight.

Likewise, in this case, all three of Geten’s Advisors + Dabi’s #2, will be at Jaku. Skully is there to work with Bindi Girl into creating gas that’ll keep their forces safe. Geten’s #3 can probably utter his mammonist line from overhearing about the Heroes plot, and be apart from the first wave of the Jaku villain forces to intercept the Heroes (before being taking out fairly easily - he’s No. 3 for a reason after all). As for Geten’s #1…well, he’’ likely just be there for Geten to bounce ideas off and defend the Commander against enemy attacks.

Now, on the returning Villain side, I’m surprised Giant Villain wasn’t brought back to rematch Mt. Lady. He’ll not be as strong as her, but he can keep her busy after she stomped through a good number of their guys. And, like in canon, Sludge Villain can stay and do his thing. Also, as apart of the first wave, Teruo’s here…to probably be one-shot immediately again, but he will be there XD

Boss: Geten

Jailbreaker: Slice

Return: Sludge Villain, Giant Villain, Teruo Hazakashi (Naked Guy), Axer, Stitched Giant

Advisors: Geten’s Advisors, Dabi’s #2 Advisor

Troy Parking Lot

Now this is one of the trickier locations since it’s pretty just one of the ‘spares’ of the battle. But, ultimately, I think it can work to be something even more meaningful than in canon. In this case, I want Mr. Compress to be left behind here. The support of the League faceing off against pretty much the spares of the Heroes trying to mop up the last of the resistance. Plus, it’s not like Compress doesn’t have a Hero of his own he has beef with. Aoyama was the reason his plan to capture both Bakugo and Tokoyami went screwy, and given Aoyama comes from a rich family that his ancestors would have likely stolen from, well…there’s a lot fun you can have between these two brawling out.

The way I see it, Kunieda makes his plants like in canon, and thanks to Compress’ mask, (alongside several other Villains still remaining that do wear masks of their own or maybe even just Kunieda has control over who he turns into plants) Compress is able to go back to his tree hopping shtick like in the training camp arc and show off his own stealth abilities again. Able to gradually whittle down the Heroes by taking advantage of the foliage to turn those who aren’t plant turned into marbles.

Since there are no Nomu here, the lesser Villains will be made of minor villain gangs, those like Cider House to Team Resvoir Dogs. Stragglers that are really only lasting as long due to Kunieda’s cover and will likely go down after Aoyama/Hagakure’s combo attack.

Boss: Mr. Compress

Jailbreaker: Kunieda

Return:Cider House, Blade Villain/Street Thieves, Reservoir Dogs, Gorilla, Spike

Advisors: Compress #3,

Takoba Stadium:

Honestly, this might sound weird, but Skeptic honestly could have taken Gashly’s place. Gashly’s whole thing is that he spawns minions to outlast others while he himself is in a safe location…

Kinda like Skeptic’s Quirk…or Twice’s…or Toga with Twice’s Quirk (Horikoshi didn’t spend much time on Gashly’s power, let’s be real…). If the main boss of Takoba is just a summoner, than just let Skeptic be badass and not only hack UA’s systems, but also fuck people up via his henchmen too? Heck, you don’t even have to do much to explain how he can do both without issue.

Have him hide somewhere during the chaos…or alternatively? Bring back the Shie Hassaikai guy, Tengai, Barrier and allow Skeptic to camp with in. As for how he can use his set-up at all, have AFO’s spies implant a virus that allows Skeptic access to UA’s systems so that he can safely work his magic in peace…at least up until La Brava stops him. As for how he can fight so well, perhaps have a chapter detailing Skeptic actually bothering to improve his Quirk so that he doesn’t need to use much to create puppets thats can do simple commands, and with access to Detnerat support items, he can effectively spawn more infinitely.

That’s how you can explain Skeptic outlasting the others for so long. At least, up until Tengai is knocked out by Tokage and Kamikiri via the Warp Gate. Thus, shutting down the barrier to allow Skeptic and any remaining Villains to be wiped out. 

Of course, there’s also the issue of the likes of Ketsubutsu’s deal with Skeptic being overturned, though I think a good way to handle that is to have them also at Takoba trying to take Skeptic’s forces down. In this case, a good midtier Villain that can give them a challenge is Deidoro Sakaki and Katsukame. Sakaki’s Sloshed and Katsukame’s energy drain are being a real nuisance in preventing the Heroes from getting to Skeptic, so it’s up to Ketsubetsu to stop them. In this case, Shindo and Nakagame take down Sakaki, while Ms. Joke and those other two guys beat Katsukame. Thus, freeing up more space to focus on the nerdy fuck who needs to get out of the barrier. 

As for any other side Villains to go along with Skeptic, I’m all for including the likes of the Carmine Advisors that made it out, beyond Toga’s 1st ranker. So Toga #3 and Skeptic’s #3. As for Gashly, he can still work as the main muscle, albeit with a revamped Quirk? Perhaps his Baby Tree quirk is more on the psychological side of things that make Skeptic’s puppets even more of a hassle to fight against? Nomu for Takoba will be Chubs to add to the whole theme of ‘this place is chalk full of tanky, long-distance, support fuckers who won’t fight directly’ which is just bound to get on the Takoba Heroes nervesXD

Main Boss: Skeptic

Jailbreaker: Gashly (with a revamped Quirk, probably something rhyme-based to help Skeptic’s puppets out)

Return: Tengai, Katsukame, Sakaki - Shie Hassaikai. Needle Hair, Martial Hair

PLF:  Skeptic #3/Toga’s #3

Nomu: Chubs

UA Shelters

Always thought this was more of a shame that there wasn’t really any proper fights here. Yeah, I know the idea is ‘oh, we can’t let the Villains in’ but c’moooon! It’s the final fight - let them be more of a threat by a few breaking in, causing the Heroes on the inside to try to stop them.

Let Mustard return to spray his gas to help weaken the Heroes defenses, which allows him to get a rematch with Kendo and Tetsu again! Let Mimic get smuggled into UA to take control of the damn thing after Skeptic failed! Have the remaining yakuza work with the saboteurs, acting as their guardsman while they try to bring UA down and it’s a race against time to really stop them. Hell, let Mummy return to use his powers to turn the machinery against the Heroes and have them work hard as Hell to stop him!!

How did they get in? IDK, let one of the saboteurs have a Quirk that let’s them be dollar tree version of Mr. Compress, or maybe they snuck in, if only barely. Heck, maybe after Kurogiri is freed, AFO placed the data for inside of UA and the team meant to rampage in it (thanks to the spies) inside of Shiggy’s mask and Kurogiri warped the taskforce in after the factl There are ways to go about it to make it work. Just allow people like Kaminari and Momo to get more to do than off-screen deal with Twice copies!!! 

But, with that in mind, every location needs a boss of some sort, right?...So why not have the one in charge of such operations be Giran? Have him sneak into UA via his muddle Quirk and make him the director of sabotage for the Villain forces, something he’d be proud to do since he’d want revenge for Twice's death. As for how he doesn’t get folded instantly when found out, if you don’t want to have him unguarded, you can have him use his/Detenerat’s support items to hold off Heroes long enough to make some play happen for his side. I just think it’d be a fitting way to end his story trying to payback the man who saved his life instead of just…not existing after a while.

Boss: Giran

League: Mustard

Jailbreaker: Mummy

Shie Hassaikai: Chronostasis, Mimic, Nemoto, Garbage Trio

PLF: Saboteurs (Tajima, Mihaera, and three people no one cares about)

Gunga Villa

Last, but not least, we got the Gunga battlefield…which is very much due for an uplift. Seriously, the battlefield against the Demon Lord should not have been so damn barren like in canon. Even the Nomus that got sent with him, who were giving everyone else so much trouble, went down likes chumps. So…how to correct it?

Simple! Make it the powerhouse buffet with all the heaviest of hitters being sent there. Woman and her analytical skills mixed with her bloodlust? She’s there to kick ass like the rampaging beast queen that she is, and ensure that the the Heroes really don’t get that much of a break while AFO is wrapped up fighting Team Endeavor in the skies.

Rappa of the Eight Bullets rampaging through the battlefield, knocking out people clean up until Kirishima arrives on Machia - then the rematch of a lifetime could occur!!! I will never stop harping on this, I truly believe we should have gotten a Kirishima and Rappa rematch in the Final War, and its a WASTE Rappa/none of the yakuza besides Overhaul returned!!!

Toxic Chainsaw, the name-dropped foe that All Might whooped back in the 1st chapter and could have probably been a neat callback? Add in Dreadlock Jailbreaker having a spike quirk and the threat from a living pincushion and toxic waste shoots the threat level way up. These guys I’ld probably leave as a deal opponents for the Shiketsu side of things, to give them some form of meaningful foe to clear out before taking on AFO.

Finally, the name-dropped Sanctum and the rest of the Twice Squad serving as, well not really AFO back-up, but general mook rallying nonetheless so the battlefield for this affair is a bit more of semi-organized affair for the Villains instead of a huge mosh pit where they got wiped out so easily.

Boss: AFO

Jailbreaker: Toxic Chainsaw, Dreadlock Jailbreaker

Nomu: Woman

Advisors: Sanctum & other Twice Advisors

Return: Rappa, Habit Headgear, Tesla, Victor

-

Ultimately, this was how I'd split them up! I tried to give each battlefield someone related to the League or who we have seen could be a credible match for the Heroes.

ALso saw fit to give an expalnation as to why some are here and others elsewhere...or not here at all.

Why isn't Re-Destro here?

Because I think the idea of Redestro going down fighting allow the PLF to escape is actually a good idea and could have lead to more development for his top brass, with the post-war showing how each of them are trying to carry on the organization's will. Geten's furious and preparing his Quirk more, Skeptic is actually training to defend himself and other better, Trumpet is channeling his inner Usopp and just lying to every straggler he finds to bolster their forces.

Why is the Shie Hassakai helping AFO?

Mutual benefit. The SH wants Overhaul back, AFO can free him if they win. Also, in Rappa's case, he just wants to brawl so he's imediately on board.

Why only Movie 2 villains on-board?

Because they're the only movie villains that are both in Japan, and not arrested internationally. I mean, I could have tried to incldue Wolfram and his dudes, if I wanted? But if I do ever make a pitch for a new Dark Deku Jailbreaker arc, I'd rather save him for that.

Aaaaaand, that's that?

Regardless, this is pretty much just a thought experiment on my part so hope you got some enjoyment from it!! Think I could have done any of these battlefields better?

[ceilidhtransing]

Here to once again sing the praises of Duolingo (and go on a long ramble about language learning)

I see a fair bit of criticism of Duo that essentially begins and ends with “Duolingo alone won't make you fluent”, stated as if it's obvious that this point alone is enough to totally condemn the app.

The thing is, “Duolingo alone won't make you fluent” is true*, but also a) pretty obvious to most dedicated language learners and b) not nearly enough to automatically render Duolingo not worth using.

[*It's also worth pointing out that “fluency” isn't really a single coherent concept: people can have radically different fluency levels across, for example, reading and speaking; different levels of proficiency can count as “fluent” in different settings depending on the needs of that setting; and not everyone learning a language is even aiming for “fluency” in the first place - though this also leads into a huge can of worms about the somewhat prevalent idea that fluency is the only worthwhile goal for learners and if you're not aiming to be fluent then it's a waste of time, but that's a discussion for another day.]

The value of Duolingo varies a lot by course, but my experience is that even though Duolingo alone won't “make you fluent”, the bigger, better-developed courses can take you a long way. Yes, obviously not to C2 “basically a native speaker” level, but pretty far. And that's personally where I find the app's real value: giving enough of a grounding in a language that other learning materials - short stories, podcasts, conversation groups, etc - become accessible. Of course Duolingo alone isn't going to make you fluent, but for a lot of learners it's an irreplaceable early tool on their journey towards proficiency.

Early on, when your level of knowledge of a language is zero or near-zero, so much of the struggle of learning is a feeling of total overwhelm as you try to figure out how to learn and find a method you'll stick to. Independent learning can feel like walking blindly through a maze of disparate and sometimes contradictory resources, some on grammar, some on vocab, some that say “start speaking immediately!”, some that say “get to grips with these grammar foundations before even trying to speak!”, some that insist there's no replacement for immersion, some that argue that immersion is like being thrown in the deep end and expecting yourself to swim, and this is where so many people burn themselves out. You can't read short stories or listen to podcasts when you know literally nothing of a language, and if you use a random unstructured assortment of materials then you'll probably end up learning grammar concepts in a very random and disconnected and confusing way. Duolingo bridges that early gap between “zero proficiency” and “some proficiency”, providing a structure that says “just keep doing this and you will watch your ability grow”.

Really, I think it's in precisely what “doing this” means that the disagreement arises. It's a very YMMV app, depending on how each person uses it. Someone using Duolingo for >30 minutes a day, making rapid and intense progress through their course, and seeking out alternative sources to clarify bits of grammar that they're confused by is having such a different experience from someone who does one lesson a day just to keep a streak going. Of course someone doing the latter isn't going to be “made fluent” that way - because there is no language-learning material on earth that is going to produce genuine progress with that little time and attention (and frankly there is no material on earth that is a 100% comprehensive standalone course from beginner to fluent and doesn't require any supplementation). Regardless of which material you're using - Duolingo, Babbel, Rosetta Stone, LanguagePod101, a YouTube series, a university course, a textbook, or any of the many other miscellaneous methods - time and attention is basically what it comes down to, and personally, in the beginner-to-intermediate stages of language learning, I've found Duolingo to have a pretty good ratio of “time and attention” to “language progress”.

Ultimately, Duo can be excellent at holding your hand through those early months of language learning, getting you to a point where you don't use “Duolingo alone”, because you now have enough confidence and grounding to supplement with things like short stories and podcasts and conversation partners - things that you would have found unbelievably daunting at the beginning, but that are now accessible to you thanks to a free app that guides you through a clear learning structure. I think that's great.

Zu lang, ich habe nicht gelesen - vielleicht bin ich noch nicht fließend, aber ich kann viel mehr mit Duo als ohne Duo sprechen :)

[minisugakoobies]

Ashes Falling | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: smut, crack, DadYoongi!AU, BadCop!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: weapons - guns, switching POVs, angst!, allusions to murder, mentions of blood/wounds, fighting (hand-to-hand), shooting, Yoongi shows off that tongue technology (oral sex - f receiving), rough fucking (protected sex), Yoongi is not a good guy (ymmv)

Word Count: 5.3k (whoops)

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: I see the ashes falling out your window There's someone in the mirror that you don't know And everything was all wrong So burn it till it's all gone

A/N: And we've reached the end! This series came out of absolutely nowhere thanks to @minttangerines's beautiful brain and it's been fun just writing with no plan and no expectations. Thank you for riding along! 💜

Chapter title and summary from Agust D's masterpiece Burn It 🔥

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Part 6 💵 Bad Cop Masterlist

Then

Yoongi sits across from you, one hand resting on the dining table, the other playing with a glass of whisky. Around and around, the caramel liquid swirls. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear he was trying to hypnotize you. 

And it might work, if you were anyone else. Of course, anyone else would already be under the handsome man’s thrall. Especially the way he looks tonight - in his tailored suit, bespoke undoubtedly, since money is apparently no object for him, and with his dark hair slicked back to reveal more of his gorgeous face.

When he’d asked you to dinner tonight, you’d felt a slight thrill of victory, knowing that your plan was working. You’d succeeded so far in inserting yourself into his life. All the secrets the Bureau wanted so desperately for you to discover were practically within your grasp. You just needed a sign from him to confirm that you’re in. 

“So are you thinking of extending your contact?” Yoongi asks, sipping at his drink. You’d told him when you’d first met that you were working for Da-som’s school for a year, with the option to extend if the school agreed. He speaks casually, almost disinterestedly, but you can hear the true question beneath - are you staying?

“I think so. I really like it here.��� 

A hint of a smile crosses his face at your answer. Long fingers reach into the inside pocket of his jacket and produce a cigarette, which he lights with the click of a flashy silver lighter. There’s not supposed to be any smoking in this restaurant, but no one’s going to stop the chief detective of the city’s police force, and he knows it. It’s a power move. 

“Good,” is all he says, blowing a smoke ring towards the ceiling. 

Anyone other than you would be affected by his reaction. By the heated look he gives you, gaze slipping down your face, down to your waist, and back. Not you, though. You know better than to fall for any of this. 

This is what you remind yourself as you push your thighs together, trying to still the sudden throbbing there. 

Your waiter returns with the bill and Yoongi simply reaches into his pocket, dropping a stack of cash on the tray without looking. Another power move. 

“Thank you for dinner,” you smile shyly, setting down your dessert fork. “I’m - I’m glad you asked me. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you better these last few weeks.” 

He leans forward, reaching his hand across the table to where yours is resting. When his fingers tap you, you flip your hand over and he slides his hand on top of yours. You immediately register something cool and hard between your palms. 

“Me too,” he says softly. “And I don’t want to stop.” 

He pulls his hand back a little, curling your fingers around what he’s left behind. Yoongi stands, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it as he bows. 

“I’ll be waiting,” he murmurs, lips humming against your skin, and then he walks away. You track him as he saunters confidently through the crowded room, until he reaches the entrance of the restaurant and vanishes. 

Opening your hand, you stare down at the piece of plastic lying there. A room key, to the hotel next door. There it is - your sign. 

The excitement that blazes through you is the ecstasy of knowing you’ve succeeded. Of realizing that you’re one step closer to the win, and nothing else.

This is what you tell yourself as you rise to your feet, and follow. 

Now

Your bag rests on the passenger seat as you hurtle down the highway. The car you’re driving is a piece of shit, but you were in no position to barter when you’d asked Seokjin if he had anything you could borrow to finish your mission. He’d called a friend of a friend and mere minutes later you were on your way. 

The police cruiser is still at Seokjin's, along with Jungkook. Your partner had been sleeping when you’d left, whispering a quick goodbye, telling him to stay put and rest while you finished the job. Seokjin promised he’d take care of him and you had no doubt that he would be safe there. 

The car’s shocks are fairly worn, meaning every little bump in the road sends your satchel bouncing. Instinctively, you reach out, searching until you find the little key tucked away in an inner pocket. The cold metal soothes you as you clutch at it anxiously. This is it, the final key to bringing Yoongi down. 

Your plan is, frankly, insane. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Thankfully, Seokjin gave you access to his personal arsenal, which is not small. But even if you’re strapped to the teeth, you’ll practically need a miracle. 

However, you’re not the praying type. Your faith resides solely in yourself. So you breathe deeply, and keep your eyes firmly on the road as you run through your plan again and again in your mind. 

As the bay comes into view, you pull over, parking the car near the entrance to the neighborhood where Yoongi’s second house resides. You’ll have to go on foot from here, to remain unseen by his men. Yoongi’s too careful to leave this place unmanned. 

You approach the fence bordering his mansion, peering between the iron bars. His vacation home is massive, a sprawling ode to excess, flaunting his new wealth. The layout of the place is fresh in your mind, thanks to floor plans stolen from the developer. Unfortunately, that’s not going to help you much if you’re outnumbered by Yoongi’s men. If only you could’ve waited for sundown, to give you more cover, or waited for backup, but right now you don’t have the luxury of time. 

A hand suddenly slips over your mouth and your eyes widen as someone presses their body against your back. Fuck! You grasp at their arm, readying yourself to attack, when a familiar voice hisses, “Don’t scream! It’s me.” 

“Jungkook! What the fuck!” 

Your partner releases you. He’s a little paler than usual, but otherwise looks like himself, even in Seokjin’s clothing, a black t-shirt tucked under a Kevlar vest, colorful sleeve of tattoos bright in the midday sun. 

“Did you really think I was gonna let you do this alone?” He grins, ignoring your scowl. “Now what’s the plan?” 

There’s no point in arguing with him. He’s here now, and even though you’re full of conflicting emotions - anger that he didn’t listen to you, guilt that you’re the reason he got injured - the feeling that overrides them all is pure, intense relief. Of course he’s by your side. You’re not alone.

It doesn’t take long to fill him in. You’re basically just going in there with guns blazing, hoping to fight your way to where you believe Yoongi’s safe sits, holding the box with the secrets that little key will unlock. 

Jungkook just nods when you’ve finished. “Got it.”

“We should probably call for backup.” 

“Already did, on the way here. They’ll be here as fast as they can, but something tells me that you don’t want to wait.” 

“I don’t.” You need this to be over, now. 

“Okay then. Ready when you are.” 

“Jungkook.” You pause, unsure how to say this. “I’m sorry. For everythi- ”

But he stops you with a shake of his head. “None of that. We’ve got a job to do.” He cups his hands, waiting to give you a boost over the fence. “Come on. You lead. I’ll follow. Like always.” 

With a nod of your own, you step onto his hands, and climb the fence.

Then

Yoongi glances at his watch. It’s only been five minutes since he left you sitting at the table, but it feels much, much longer. Too long. He loosens his tie a bit as he waits. His suit jacket is folded over the back of the chair beside the bed. The room is quiet. 

Is he rushing things? It’s very like him to do that. He could move more slowly with you. But, well, he doesn’t want to. He wants you now.

Which is why he’s here, perched on the edge of the bed, staring at the door. Waiting.

It’s not just about sex. If Yoongi only wanted to get his dick wet, he wouldn’t have to take anyone out on several dates first. That’s not arrogance - it’s a fact that he radiates power, and women are attracted to that. And he knows he looks good. He has mirrors. 

No, it’s more than that - although he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been imagining this moment since the first time he saw you in Da-som’s classroom. He’d been so distracted by your beauty at the parent-teacher conference that he’d accidentally agreed to chaperone a class trip, just nodding along to whatever you were saying while picturing what you’d look like if he bent you over your desk right then and there. But beyond his baser needs, there’s something else. Something that draws him to you. He senses a kindred spirit. He needs to know how deep that connection goes.

There’s a loud click and the door suddenly opens. Yoongi stands as you enter. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” you say, biting your lip before smiling sweetly. 

In just three steps he’s across the room, pulling you into his arms for a passionate kiss. 

He quietly orders you to lift your arms, and the gorgeous dress you’d worn to dinner crumples into a soft ball of fabric on the ground. With sure steps he maneuvers you towards the bed, helping you sit on the edge, kindly freeing your breasts from the confining corsetry of your bra as he goes. While you settle onto the soft sheets, he slides your panties down your legs, taking care to rake his fingers along the soft skin there, delighting in the way you shudder at his touch. 

The plush carpet gives way beneath his knees as he kneels, leaning over to kiss you, getting lost in the incredible softness of your lips for a moment, until your hands reach for the buttons on his shirt. His hands lightly push yours away as he shakes his head. 

“Not yet, baby.” 

“But I wanna see you,” you say, pretty mouth turning down in a lovely little pout. “It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re not.”

He just chuckles. Smoothly, he undoes one cufflink, then the other, rolling his sleeves to his elbows. His forearms flex with the motion, drawing your attention, and he smirks. 

“Don’t worry,” he assures you, “I’ll still put on a good show for you.” 

He kneels again, gently pressing his fingers into the bare skin of your stomach, urging you to lie back. One of your thighs comes to rest on his shoulder, then the other. With one hand he spreads your folds, saliva flooding his mouth at the glistening sight in front of him. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you look good enough to eat.” 

You mewl as he kisses your dripping cunt, over and over, getting his mouth all sticky with your desire. Yoongi always follows through on his promises, and this is no exception. You can’t tear your eyes away from the dark-haired man as he rubs his lips, his tongue, his nose all over you, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Occasionally your head drops back, your eyes closing as if overwhelmed by the sensations, but then they immediately open again, not wanting to miss a second. 

“Yoongi.” 

Panting moans fill Yoongi’s ears as he drowns in you. When he finds the right rhythm with his tongue on your clit, a rapid lapping that has your hips lifting off the bed, he slides a finger inside your slick warmth, then two, three, and your moans become cries. Pleas, broken and desperate, begging him for more. 

Impatience roars up inside him again and he lets your legs slide from his broad shoulders. His cock aches as he tears off his clothing, sheathing himself with the condom waiting in his pocket, and you’ve barely moved up on the bed to make room for him when he’s sliding inside you. Fuck. So warm, so tight. A space carved out just for him. 

The headboard smacks into the wall repeatedly as Yoongi thrusts into you, hips slapping your ass with every sharp snap. You’re babbling, an endless stream of words pouring from your mouth, but the only words Yoongi can make out are “Yoongi” and “more.” 

“You want more, baby? I’ll give you everything. Anything you could ever want.”  

He goes harder, faster, driving his cock deeper and deeper. His hands grope at your breasts, your ass, as you take everything he has to give. When he feels your walls start to constrict, it’s almost a relief, because he’s not going to last much longer. And sure enough, when your orgasm hits, your cunt grips his cock so tightly that he cums, head dropping onto your chest as he fills the condom with his hot release.  

He lies that way, cheek pressed into the curve of your breast, breathing heavily as you both come down. From here, he can feel your heart pounding. It’s not identical to the way his own drums, but instead compliments it, a wild syncopation beating along to the steady pulse of his own tempo. His fingers tap along your sternum. 

“Is that morse code?” Your voice is just barely above a whisper, as if you don’t want to shatter the peaceful stillness of the moment. 

He lifts his head, smiling. “That’s your heartbeat. I’m playing along.” 

“Playing what, my collarbones?” 

“My piano.” His fingers dance over imaginary keys, caressing your skin so, so gently. 

“I didn’t know you had a piano. Or that you could play.” 

There’s so much you don’t know about him. So much he wants to show you. But he knows that it will take time. He has to ease you into his world. 

“I’ll play for you sometime,” he says, crawling up your body until his face hovers over yours. “If you’d like.” 

“I would like that. Very much,” you reply, lips curling into a shy grin, and he kisses it away until you’re breathless. 

Eventually, he has to go. He needs to get home to Da-som. Yoongi can defeat any enemy - except a babysitter with a curfew. 

He sits on the edge of the bed, fixing his tie, as you watch him from beneath the sheets. “The room’s paid for until tomorrow, so you can stay all night if you want. Order some room service in the morning. Treat yourself, sweetheart.” 

The corner of your mouth twitches. “You keep calling me that.” 

“Is that okay?” 

In reply, you pull him in for another kiss, and he sighs, wishing he could stay. Or take you home with him. But he’s not ready to have that conversation with Da-som yet. Even though he’s rushing everything else. 

He taps his fingers on your chest. “Sleep well, sweetheart.” 

He starts to rise, but you grab his wrist, holding him in place. 

“Yoongi. I don’t…” 

He says nothing, waiting for you to find your words. 

“I don’t do this with every father I meet, you know,” you finish, flashing that beautiful bashful smile again.

“Just me?” 

“Just you.” Your hand reaches out to straighten his tie, but then you gently brush your fingertips over his chest, mimicking his actions from earlier. Tap-tap-tap. 

In that moment, Yoongi knows. He’ll do anything for you. Like he told you earlier, when he was wrapped in your arms - he’ll give you anything you want. 

All you have to do is ask. 

Now

Bodies. So many bodies, scattered around the grounds of his house. Yoongi blinks dispassionately at them all. He thought he’d hired the best. Clearly, he was wrong. 

Yoongi honestly hadn’t known what to expect when he and Jimin arrived at his house on the bay. One of his guards had called him while he was on his way here and alerted him that you’d been spotted near the fence bordering his property. He’d hoped that when he got here, he’d find you waiting for him, tied to a chair by one of his guards. But it appears that he’d underestimated your skills, if you managed to take out so many of his men at once. 

No one appears to be dead, but they’re all knocked out or wounded. Interesting. Are you afraid to use lethal force? Or are you just saving your best shots for him? 

Together, he and Jimin sweep the first floor, finding nothing but his more useless guards. With a few silent signals, Jimin indicates that he’s going to scout ahead, and begins to climb the stairs. Yoongi watches him disappear down the hallway with a growing sense of unease. He tightens his grip on his gun. 

Jimin reappears after a moment, shaking his head. There’s only the other end of the hallway to explore now. The master suite is down that way. Where, in one of the walk-in closets, nestled in the corner, sits Yoongi’s safe. 

Maybe you’re not here. Maybe you’re already gone, with the contents of the safe firmly in tow. Maybe it’s all over, and any second now, this place will be swarming with feds. For the briefest of moments, Yoongi feels the strangest sense of relief at the thought. 

And then the moment is broken as a very loud “God damn it!!” rings out. 

Jimin instinctively points his gun in the direction of the screaming. It’s coming from the master suite. Yoongi joins him at the top of the stairs. 

“It’s her,” he states in a hushed tone. “That’s her voice.” 

“Sounds like someone might be giving her a rough time?” 

There are no other sounds coming from the direction of the suite. No more curses, no scuffling, none of the sickening noises that a human body makes when someone else is beating the shit out of it.

“Nah. She’s working on the combination.” 

“At least it sounds like it’s not going well.” 

For the moment. You have the key to the safe, but it’s a dual lock system, requiring a combination as well. Yoongi has no doubt you’ll figure out the date he used. It’s just a matter of time. 

So he’d better not give you any more. 

Yoongi grimaces, the gun suddenly heavy in his hands. “You ready?” 

Jimin nods. 

Silently, they creep forward. The door to the master suite looms at the end of the hall, and Yoongi feels his already frantic pulse increasing with every step. 

And then a floorboard creaks under Yoongi’s foot. Loudly. 

Both men pause, staring at one another. Listening. Waiting. 

The door at the end of the hall starts to open. Jimin dives into an empty room to his left, while Yoongi dashes into the bathroom on his right

The mirror mounted on the wall faces towards the end of the hallway. As Yoongi hides, he stares at the reflection of the person emerging from the suite. Shit, it’s Jungkook, gun drawn as he carefully sweeps the other open rooms down the hall. So much for Jimin’s incredible marksman skills - the rookie cop slash undercover agent doesn’t look any worse for wear, let alone dead. 

The door at the end of the hall opens again. Yoongi’s breath catches. With a fiercely determined expression on your face and that gun in your hand, you look nothing like the sweet, shy teacher he met all those months ago. A mirthless chuckle bubbles up in his chest. He clenches his jaw to keep it down. Funny how he was right - you are a kindred spirit, after all. Just a funhouse version of one. Staring at him from the other side of the mirror.

“Jungkook,” he hears you whisper, tracing your partner’s footsteps. “Where are you?” 

“In here. Did you crack it?” Jungkook reappears, gun lowered, and - 

BANG!

A bullet slices through the air between you and Jungkook. The two of you immediately dive, raising your guns in the direction of the gunshot - which, of course, was just Jimin announcing his presence. 

“Drop your weapon and come out!” you shout. 

Jimin just laughs, shaking his head. “Does that shit ever work?”

“Goddamn it, it’s that maniac again,” you hiss, loud enough for Yoongi to hear. 

“Did you miss me, love?” Another wild cackle. Yoongi glares at the younger man, but says nothing, not wanting to give away his location. 

Faster than lightning, Jimin fires another shot towards the end of the hall. 

“Fuck!” Jungkook yells, placing himself between you and the line of sight to the room where Yoongi can see Jimin crouching just inside. “Get back in there and keep trying! I’ll handle this asshole.” 

As soon as the door closes behind you, Yoongi looks at Jimin. He points to himself and then the door at the end of the hall. Jimin nods. 

“Oh, you will, will you?” Jimin taunts Jungkook. He grins at Yoongi. “I think - HEY!” Jimin dives aside as a bullet pierces the doorway, embedding itself firmly in the open door that Jimin was just leaning against. “You son of a bitch, you almost clipped my hair!” 

“Next one’s going in your forehead!” 

“As if you could hit my forehead!” 

“How can I miss a target that big?” 

“THAT’S IT!” Jimin roars. “YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?” He rolls up his sleeves, giant snake tattoo on his arm practically dancing as he clenches his fists. 

“Yeah! You already took one from me! It’s time for payback!” 

Jimin unbuckles his harness, letting the weapons hit the floor. “Then let’s do this! I’ll tear you apart with my bare hands!”

“LET’S GO, MOTHERFUCKER!” Jungkook screams, and suddenly there are two blurs flying down the hallway towards each other. They collide with a loud “whump!” and Yoongi quickly slips out of the bathroom and towards the master suite. 

He opens the door slowly, much slower than the adrenaline coursing through his body wants him to, but he doesn’t want you to hear him entering. The two men behind him pay no attention, lost in their frenzy, powerful blows landing left and right. Yoongi closes the door just as carefully, twisting the knob so the lock clicks quietly into place. 

Gun raised, he takes one step towards the closet. Then another. The door is wide open, but the closet is so big that he can’t see the safe in the corner. Or you. 

As soon as he crosses the threshold, there’s a loud shriek as you jump out from behind the door and tackle him. His gun goes flying. He lands on his side, the breath in his lungs whooshing out hurriedly as you roll on top of him, thighs straddling his chest. 

“Don’t. Fucking. Move.” You cock your gun, aiming it straight at his head. “I knew that maniac didn’t come alone.” 

Although your hands are steady, your chest rises with every panting breath you take, Yoongi notes. He feels his entire tensed body relax. You’re scared.

Good.

Yoongi smirks. “What are you gonna do, sweetheart? Shoot me?” He grabs the barrel of your gun as you gasp, but your finger doesn’t squeeze the trigger, even when he pulls it down until it presses into his forehead. “Go ahead.” 

“Stop it!” You try to yank your gun free, but he refuses to let go. You tug harder and harder, until he finally relinquishes his grip, and the force of your momentum throws you off balance. Yoongi scrambles to grab his gun as you’re knocked into a pile of hangers and clothing lying in a heap on the ground. When you rise, there’s a bright red line of blood seeping down your cheek, from where a hanger has cut you.

The two of you face off, guns drawn. Yoongi tuts. 

“Oh, sweetheart, your face. That looks nasty.” 

“Don’t call me that,” you snarl. 

“No? But I thought you liked it?” 

“I never did.” 

“Ah. Right. All part of the game, huh?” Yoongi laughs. “None of it was real, huh.” 

“It’s all over now.” Blood trickles down your cheek, dripping onto the pristine white carpet below. “Put the gun down, Yoongi. Think about Da-som. Think about -”

“No!” Yoongi takes a step forward. You hold your ground, but he swears he catches a flash of fear in your eyes. He should know, he’s seen it many times before. “Don’t you fucking tell me what to do! No one tells me what to do! I make the rules around here. I call the shots!” 

“Not anymore! We know everything. Everything. Your empire is burning down, Yoongi - don’t throw your life away trying to protect ashes!” 

“Oh, you know everything?” The mad laughter that’s been choking him finally slips past his lips. “Do you really? Fuck! You have no fucking idea!” Another step forward. He keeps his gun raised, but he’s cackling so wildly that his aim is all over the place. “Do you have any idea what I would’ve done for you? What I would’ve given you? Anything you wanted, anything you needed, it all would’ve been yours!”

“It wasn’t real, Yoongi!” 

“IT WAS REAL TO ME!” 

You freeze, eyes wide, as his shout echoes through the suite. Faintly, Yoongi can hear Jungkook and Jimin still fighting in the hallway. But it’s dead silent in the closet, where you’re still gazing at his face, as if searching for some sort of sign. 

Yoongi lowers his gun. He closes the gap between you, ignoring that your gun is now pointed directly at his heart, and reaches out with steady fingers.

Tap-tap-tap 

The silence in the closet is stifling, pressing in on him. But then you take in a shuddery breath. When Yoongi dares to look up, he sees tears in your eyes. 

But time, it seems, has run out. 

In the distance, but growing closer, he can hear the blaring wail of sirens. 

“YN!” Jungkook yells. The doorknob rattles. “Are you okay in there?” 

Yoongi’s fucked. He’s going down, and -

“Go,” you whisper. “You have to run.” 

There’s a loud thumping. Jungkook must be trying to break the door down with brute force. He’ll probably go grab his gun and try to shoot his way in next. Or any moment now, agents are going to come crashing through the windows. These are the panicked thoughts that race through Yoongi’s mind and prevent him from understanding what you’ve said. You drop your gun and grab his arms, shaking him. 

“Yoongi! Do you hear me? You have to run!” There’s a ferocity in your eyes that Yoongi’s never seen in anyone’s gaze but his own. “I know you have a back way out of here. You have to go now. Yoongi? Hey!” 

SMACK!

There’s a white-hot sting on his cheek. 

“Fuck, sweetheart!” He rubs away the pain left behind by your slap. 

A ghost of a smile crosses your face. The door has stopped shaking. “Listen, Jungkook will be in here any second. My team is likely already setting up a barricade and surrounding the place. You have to get to the water. Grab Da-som, start running, and never look back.” 

Da-som. Son of a bitch, he can’t lose her. The weight of everything he stands to lose finally comes crashing down. “Fuck, what have I done?” 

There’s a shout from the hallway, a berserker cry, and Yoongi realizes Jimin must have rallied for one last attack. Quickly, you take Yoongi’s hands, guiding him to stand again, and then lead him to the far corner of the master bedroom, where you push aside a bookshelf to reveal a darkened passageway, hidden from the outside. You really did know everything.

Or at least, now you do. 

The screaming sirens have stopped. Yoongi can hear voices out on the lawn. 

“I know you said you’re the one calling the shots, but you need to listen to me now. I’ll take care of everything else. But you - you can’t ever resurface, Yoongi. This is a one-time deal. Take Da-som and disappear. Please,” you whisper, clutching his hands. “Please, do this. If not for Da-som, if not for you - do it for me.” 

Even with his impending doom hovering just on the other side of the bedroom door, Yoongi can’t stop the way he feels. Of course he’ll run. 

Anything for you. 

Footsteps begin to echo throughout the house. Yoongi pulls you into his arms, embracing you one last time as his lips crash onto yours.

And then he runs.

Epilogue

You open the door to your apartment, kick off your shoes, and flop onto the couch. Another fucking long day. The planning for your latest mission is completely draining your energy. For not the first time in recent weeks, you wonder if you should listen to Jungkook’s advice and put in for that time off request. You could definitely use the break. 

Unconsciously, your fingers rub at the scar on your cheek. It hasn’t hurt for years, but in the last few weeks, it’s been itching like crazy. Jungkook always jokes that he can tell that it’s going to rain whenever his bullet wound aches. You wonder what the scar is trying to tell you. 

Eventually, you drag yourself off the couch and shuffle down the hallway towards the bathroom, dying for a shower. But then you hear a soft sound coming from the door behind you, like something’s sliding along the floor, and you freeze.

There’s an envelope laying in the entryway. Instinctively, you place a hand on the holster of your gun as you peer through the peephole. No one there. No one in the hallway, either, when you open your door. 

The envelope has your first name on it, nothing else. With careful fingers, you tear it open, and read the scrap of paper inside:

35.9285° N, 128.5774° E

Coordinates. To what location? 

You flip it over: 

I’ll be waiting.

You sink onto the couch, staring so intently at the words that you’re surprised the paper doesn’t burst into flames from the intensity of your gaze. 

It’s been five years with no word on Yoongi’s whereabouts. Once Jungkook finally knocked out Jimin and shot the door open, he’d found you lying on the floor, pretending to be unconscious. Yoongi had given up and fled the scene. The Bureau believed your story, likely helped by the fact that Yoongi had left behind his safe and all the secrets it contained. His empire crumbled.

Even though Yoongi’d evaded your capture, you were hailed as the hero of the day and moved on to the next case. And the next, and the next. Days turned into months turned into years. 

Once the mission was over, you never brought it up again. Occasionally, Jungkook or Seokjin would try to get you to talk. But you simply told them that you had nothing to say. The case was closed. 

(To say nothing of your heart.) 

And yet… it wasn’t entirely true. If you’d chosen to talk to your friends, you might have told them that you still found yourself thinking about it from time to time. About Yoongi. And where he was. That sometimes, when you couldn’t sleep, you’d scour countless resources, searching for him. Yet no matter how much you looked, you never found a single sign.

Until, maybe, now. You glance at the paper, and it dawns on you what it really is.

A key. 

…

You rise to your feet.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

How did Phantom ruin ALW and Sarah Brightman's marriage?

That's a sadder story than the Sunset Boulevard drama, unfortunately.

So, Sarah Brightman started out on the disco scene as a teen, where she was part of a group who had... this single. That was back when Star Wars: A New Hope had just come out, so you had a lot of space-inspired... stuff floating around. Yeah, let's put it that way.

Eventually, since disco was on its way out by the end of the 70s, she switched the musical theatre, and auditioned for a little musical called Cats.

(WHY DOES IT ALWAYS COME BACK TO CATS. OMG. NEXT THING I'LL KNOW I'LL FIND OUT JAMES CORDEN'S MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO HIM DURING A CATS PERFORMANCE OR SOMETHING.)

So, ALW did not notice her during her time in Cats - it was later, in 1984, when she was in a production of a children's opera called Nightingale, which he saw because it was getting very good reviews. At the time, ALW was already considering making a musical based on The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux... but here's the thing. There were actually a few attempts at making a musical about Phantom. The most recent one at that time was Ken Hill's, which was playing in London in 1984. It was doing well-enough, to the point ALW went to see it with Cameron Mackintosh (for those who don't know, he's the producer for Les Mis and Phantom, and also Satan), they met up with Ken Hill, and they were allegedly impressed enough by it that they wanted to revamp the show and put it on a bigger stage.

EXCEPT THAT NEVER HAPPENED, AND ALW JUST WENT AHEAD AND WROTE HIS OWN THING, AND KEN HILL NEVER HEARD OF HIM EVER AGAIN.

(Side note: I've also seen a story going around that Sarah herself was approached for Ken Hill's musical, but I'd have to confirm that.)

Anyway, what happened is that ALW and Sarah really hit off, and when their relationship became public, it was all over the tabloids because they were both married at the time. So they left their respective spouses for each other, and got married not long after, and that's when the preparation for Phantom really started picking up.

If you read the novel and seen the musical, Christine does undergo a personality and appearance change: she's blonde in the novel, but she's brunette in the musical because Sarah is a brunette, and they made her a lot shyer and meek to fit her personality (and limited acting range according to some) better. What ALW wanted to do was to present his wife as a triple threat - she could sing and she had a classically trained soprano voice, she could dance (she was a trained ballet dancer and could go en pointe), and she could act (YMMV on that).

They presented the musical for the first time at the Sydmonton festival in 1985. For those who don't know, it's basically a vanity festival ALW hosts at his place where he presents his projects. It was VERY different from what it was going to be later. If you're ever curious, this is what it looked like (sorry for the terrible quality, it was a bootleg after all).

But all was not well in paradise, because making Phantom was a very grueling process for both of them. ALW was convinced the musical was going to flop, they'd argue, and Sarah would end up in tears more often than not. (And that's without mentioning the drama that happened with the lyrics, and with Hal Prince, and with Steve Harley who was supposed to play the Phantom before Michael Crawford came in, and how some people in the crew nicknamed Michael Crawford "Joan Crawford" because he was a bit of a diva, and I'm skipping a bunch lmao)

So Phantom opened in London in 1986 to great success, and even greater success on Broadway in 1988, but by then, the marriage was virtually over. Sarah and ALW separated in 1990, and her "goodbye gift" was starring in his follow-up musical, Aspects of Love... which flopped. And it's kind of a shame because her acting got a lot better in that (probably because of her own lived experiences lol).

Sarah has been doing pretty fine since, she had a successful solo singing career, and she almost went in space but had to cancel (still sad about that). As I mentioned before, I think ALW is not really over it (despite having re-married since, lmao) and LND is a result of that.

While I'm at it, that reminds me that LND came very close to never coming to the light, because in 2007, ALW's new kitten, Otto (WHICH IS THE BEST NAME FOR A KITTEN EVER), basically pawed around his electronic piano and deleted all of the music he had written for LND. I wish I was making this up, but I'm not.

I told you. It always comes back to cats.

[moistvonlipwig]

BtVS for the favorite things ask game?

ok!!!

my favorite female character: Cordelia of course.....though if we're counting her more as an AtS character then it'd be poor beleaguered Anya, who has too much sense by far for the rest of the Scoobies to handle.

my favorite male character: Spoike my horrible little man who is faking his accent and cheats at kitten poker <3 he sucks sooo bad (affectionate) (also objectively true since he is a vampire)

my favorite book/season/etc: This one's tricky -- I think S5 probably takes it in the end, although I think the overall arc of S2 is very impressive and the highs are higher. But I prefer big sister Buffy to only child Buffy and the later seasons cast line-up to the early seasons cast line-up, and S2 has a lot of bad episodes, whereas S5's worst episodes are just kind of whatever. S3 is also very strong overall, but it doesn't emotionally grab me the way S2 and S5 do.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): This one's even trickier! I think "Becoming" (especially its second part) is definitely in the running for its amazing character work for Buffy and the whole cast. "Lovers Walk" gets points for the sheer amount of fun it packs into its runtime. "Who Are You?" is another contender, largely due to SMG's absolute tour-de-force performance as Faith. "Restless" would be a contender if it weren't for the horrifically racist treatment of the First Slayer that infects the entire episode, which knocks it soundly off its otherwise well-earned pedestal. "The Gift" is very, very good as well. (I'm not as big on "The Body" as everyone else -- it's good, I just don't think it's one of the show's top episodes.) And I think "Dead Things" is probably the most challenging episode the show ever put forth, which I appreciate deeply. (I enjoy the songs in OMWF a lot, but as an episode I don't think it's super cohesive, so while it's up there for me, I don't think I can say it's the show's best.)

my favorite cast member: I honestly don't really tend to get super invested in actors, so, idk? I guess I'd say that, while she's nowhere near the show's strongest actor -- in fact I would argue she's one of those actors who is extremely good at playing one specific part and basically can't play anything else -- I nonetheless have a lot of respect for Eliza Dushku as a person, what with how she's spoken up about the sexual abuse, harassment, and mistreatment she's faced within the industry, and how she threw her full support behind the people speaking up about Joss Whedon despite having a positive experience with him herself.

my favorite ship: Most of my favorite Buffyverse ships are AtS ships, but my favorite BtVS ship is ultimately probably Buffy/Spike, despite, um, everything -- I think they have a lot of really fun interactions and I buy their friendship in early S6 and S7, and I appreciate that the show made some attempt (YMMV how successful it was) to deconstruct and problematize the enemies-to-lovers trope. That said, my ideal endgame for them is that they end up as friends, not lovers. And the way some people talk about that ship on here is......well. It's something innit. In terms of other ships I like: despite what I'm about to say about Giles below, I do like his interactions with Anya a lot and I feel like there were some romantic implications in "Grave" that weirdly never got picked up again in S7. I think a Giles/Anya romance would be a lot better than S7 trying to resurrect the shuffling corpse of Xander/Anya. ...Although, I'm also a "Willow should've killed Giles in Grave" truther, so, I'll also propose a Willow/Anya romance, because they had good chemistry in "Selfless" and it'd be funny.

a character I’d die defending: It used to be Dawn and Cordelia, but honestly the fandom has cooled off a lot when it comes to hating those characters, so, uh, I definitely still defend them ardently when needed, but they don't need it as much these days as they used to. Buffy still gets some very weird things said about her which I think she should be defended from, although I also think there's pockets of fandom that act like she has never done a single thing wrong in her life ever, which is a point of view I also don't subscribe to. Faith I think is in a weird position where she has done some legitimately awful things, which some of her more hardcore fans gloss over, but some people are strangely hellbent on making up things she didn't do to get mad at her for, which I can't abide. People are also deeply weird about Joyce, as you know, but, like, I'm not a Joyce Fan or anything, I don't even think she's a particularly amazing mother, I just think people seem entirely incapable of seeing things from her point of view and weirdly insistent that her relationship with Buffy was worse than it was. So, IDK. Most of the women, I guess. Except Willow. Sorry Willow, I'm sure some people are weird about you too, but the narrative is too nicies to you already.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Yeah, it's Giles. He's the character who has gone down the most in my estimation over time, particularly as I've gotten older. S1 Giles is arguably sympathetic, with his fate somewhat paralleled to Buffy's, but as the show goes on, the character and worldbuilding develop to a point where it becomes pretty irrefutable that this is a guy who profits off of Buffy's suffering and could stop doing that at any time, who abandons her when she needs him most, and who then has the gall to act like he should have any say in the decisions she makes about her life afterwards. Additionally, the way he seems totally indifferent to Xander's home life and clear desire for a non-abusive father figure/masculine role model, and even more egregiously (given that it is literally his job to 'watch' her) the way he seems totally indifferent to Faith's lack of a home or family or any kind of support, is profoundly foul to me, and yet another thing that's made worse by the retcon that Giles is well-off and gets paid to do this. (The Faith stuff is even worse when you remember that Giles, too, has accidentally killed people, yet he makes no effort to try to reach out to her. Angel's attempt to reach out may have been bad, but at least it was an attempt.) I've read a lot of meta on here about how Giles was deeply affected by Jenny's death and how that made him feel like he had somehow doomed her by loving her, or even when Jenny isn't brought into it a lot of people will say that Giles thinks he is an awful person who makes people's lives worse and that's why he holds himself at such a distance, and like, that's a fine interpretation, but I don't actually see any evidence that that's true? To me that's in the realm of "Xander hates vampires because of Jesse" -- it's something that could psychologically make sense for a real person, and you could write about in a fanfic and have it be quite interesting, but I struggle to see any real basis for that idea in canon. And of course I should add that I think Giles should probably suck, for the show to work; if he's a good father figure the story doesn't really happen. But he sucks in such deeply baffling and unsympathetic ways to me that I just really don't like him anymore at this point, aside from the occasional Buffy-Giles emotional beat or snarky one-liner that makes me smile.

a character I grew to love: This one definitely goes to Buffy -- I think pre-Dawn Buffy is a well-done but ultimately fairly typical Campbell-style comic hero, whose character is largely elevated by SMG's iconic performance and by BtVS's strategy of using monster-of-the-week episodes to mirror Buffy's internal journey. I like her fine in the early seasons, but it's only really in S5 that she starts to grab my emotional attention, and it's in S6 that I truly love her -- S6 is a mess, but I think Buffy's arc in that season is utterly compelling and beautiful, and it gives me so much more affection and appreciation for her character. As for S7...well, let's just not speak of that, shall we.

my anti otp: With apologies as always to my Bangel followers & mutuals, I find Buffy/Angel to be not entirely uninteresting to think about (especially in S2, which is when I think the writers had the strongest sense of what they wanted to say with that relationship), but they are profoundly tedious to watch. Melodrama that is played straight is rarely appealing to me, and I can't for the life of me imagine them in an actual adult relationship -- what would they talk about? As Buffy herself admits, they were never actually friends, and so many of their conversations on the show just revolve around how they shouldn't and/or can't be together but they want to anyway. I also think, as the shows go on, they develop different values and their lives go in such different directions that I don't think they would work as a couple in the future, either. Both of them are better off, IMO, moving on and living separate lives.

[laufire]

although I've enjoyed stories that went down that route before, I can't see jason & talia's relationship in the comic as surrogate mother and son. I don't think the reading came completely out of the blue (I still have this edit of the pietà cover in lost days #2 as my background pic lol. that's some culturally ingrained imagery! although given the issue it precedes, I wonder if it was more of a hint to antichrist!jason lmfao), and can see how lost days #1 would inspire it (although the same events in batman annual #25 end with talia kissing jason after the pit... and I read that first because lost days wasn't out yet when I was catching up in my jason reading, way back when. lost days erases this moment and I do prefer it that version though. that moment, at that time, made no sense).

but after that first issue that's not what I see in the run. jason's certainly not in the market for a parental figure, and he wouldn't have responded well to talia, had she approached him as one (and at this point, talia was very much about finding the right approach to manage jason... because jason had attempted to kill bruce -the comic attributes this to temporary psychopathy but winnick and I differ on this one-. and this didn't happen only because jason decided not to go through his plan at the last moment. ymmv at to why). this reading comes from a mix of things in fanon, but one of them is literally "well she's bruce's love interest and he's bruce's kid sooooo", and I just don't vibe with that, basically.

reading talia's first appearances and realising she's meant to be close to dick's age also compounded my own interpretation of talia's dynamics, sometimes for the worse sometimes for the better, but it's a canon detail that just feels so fitting for the talia comics I've read that now I'd struggle to see her differently, when beforehand I really hadn't thought about her age. this way, they're not exactly peers (dick seems around 4-6 years older than jason in new earth, ymmv), and I usually land on talia being a couple years older than dick. but this colours how I interpret their dynamic, too. how I think they'd see it, in particular.

since I'm talking about the nature of their relationship I do have to mention That Scene. very contentious and I do get why (I do not care for any m/f/m triangle dc has ever tried to pull with the bats, especially bruce vs. dick-slash-jason). but fandom either sees this as "talia, a much older woman, statutory raped jason, a teenager" (jason in the last issue of lost days and in utrh looks very much in his twenties), OR "I've decided talia is jason's mother figure, and I'm -with good reason!- tired of how often she's villianised, so I just Don't See It" [insert mariah carey's i can't read suddenly.gif], as thought there's no other possible interpretation.

and the way I see it is. it's not a Good Thing to happen, nor is it written with that intention! the characters are NOT in a good place and they're NOT making wise, healthy choices lol. and it's something that sidetracks what could've become a really interesting, closer friendship & alliance (I want them to be friends and allies sooooo badly lol. I think they'd work so well!! there's reblogs in my queue about it!!). but I don't see it as something to completely handwave if I'm writing new earth canon; just something to tackle head on, if I ever write about them after this period beyond having it as a secondary dynamic (which I plan to do, but that's another story).

ironically, these ramblings came to me because I'm developing their dynamic in a WIP for a different canon (the young justice cartoon. for reference, the ages there are: Talia, 1984; Jason, 1999; Damian, 2018), and rn if you asked me if they have a surrogate mother-son relationship in it my answer would be a solid... maaaaaaaybe? LOL. if they end up like that, it'll be with MASSIVE ammounts of spousification, though. which is how I see any parental relationship involving jason going, outside of 80s!bruce & jason, to be honest.

[copperbadge]

We recently got into a discussion of producing audiobooks for small press, indy, and/or selfpub authors on another post, but we had strayed pretty far from the original post, and @genedoucette very kindly gave permission for me to slice his comment off the end of that post and put it into a new one.

genedoucette

I have been very, very lucky when it comes to audiobooks, so I'm hesitant to offer advice without adding a huge YMMV caveat at the top. For most of my self-published novels, I used ACX and paid a narrator out-of-pocket (rather than 50-50 proceeds split), which just means I'm paying an agreed-upon X dollars per finished hour, prior to making any money off f the audio editon. Every book I did this with paid for itself, sometimes within the first two or three months, sometimes longer. (YMMV: I did a lot of this during what I would call the audiobook bubble, when demand was higher than supply.) I had another novel series--Tandemstar--that I brought to an audiobook company, who brought it to their distributor, who agreed to pay for the production costs of the book and to pay me a (small) advance. To date, the royalties from that series have not made up the cost of the advance, but the good news was that none of the production costs came from my pocket and the advance meant I did make something out of the deal. The rule-of-thumb I always heard was, don't expect books that haven't sold well to sell any better as audiobooks. But my experience, with ACX/Audible, is this: about 50% of my monthly earning come from audio sales. How long is the book in question (word count), and what is the genre? Because it is absolutely possible to get a not-terrible narrator at a not-terrible cost on ACX. If it's a low word count book with a decent sales record, I'd 100% do it. If it's a high word count book with few sales, maybe not.

Thanks so much for this! I am admittedly always suspicious of Amazon writ large, but it's not like I've never partnered with them before, and often for indy authors they're one of a very few games in town.

50% of sales via audio impresses me a lot -- I'm not really in the industry so my sense of scale may be off but my eyebrows went up at that. And looking at ACX, a split-profits model would be appealing. I'm more interested in providing the reader with more options than I am with making royalties, so I don't mind low payout, but I also don't want to exploit a narrator if I can avoid it.

I doubt I'm selling near the level you are, but it's pretty consistent, at least -- for the last literary novel I published in 2021, and for the four genre romances published in the past year-and-change, it's generally 200-250 copies (epub and paperback) in the first 6 months, and about 40 per year after that. None of them are over 100K words -- the first of the romance novels, the one I'd be most likely to have done as an audiobook to trial, is around 50K, and the other books are all between 60K and 90K or so.

There's some fine print I'm not nuts about -- exclusivity to Amazon/Audible/iTunes for example -- but I can see why it's a necessary business model for them. There's not a ton of clarity on cost per hour for a book, but it looks like for a flat fee it starts around $250 per finished hour? So I'd probably be looking at minimum $1K out of pocket, which is probably roughly (I haven't done the math) royalties per book for a full year. It could be fun to give it a swing regardless, although reading the ACX site made me realize I'd actually have to give notes and feedback to a reader which sounds nervewracking.

It looks like the readers for ACX are repped by SAG-AFTRA, which means that for now I have time to consider while the strike is going on. (Obviously not all of them are union but if it's an entertainment format where the union is involved, I don't want to cross the picket.) And the ACX site is pretty comprehensive in terms of figuring out how it all works, so if I did want to source a narrator elsewhere and perhaps not distribute exclusively through ACX, I now have a grounding from which to research other options too.

Sorry, a lot of this is just me thinking aloud, but I truly do appreciate the info and also something to bounce off of in terms of considering it. And I appreciate the opportunity to share it with my readership too, thank you!

[voxofthevoid]

Hello! We haven't really interacted before but I reviewed a Bleach fanfiction of yours a while ago, and I've loved your stories for the fandom! I'm sad that you no longer write for Bleach, but you've shared some amazing work, so thank you for that.

Just wanted to ask if you have any tips on how to connect more with other readers and writers, as it seems your conversations with other people in your fandoms bring a lot of joy and inspiration! While I wrote fanfiction in my teenage years, I felt very much like a fandom hermit back then but I'm coming back to it now many years later and want to actively engage with more people. I've joined some discord servers and am posting much more to twitter and tumblr, but I'm still pretty shy about messaging people privately as I feel like I don't really know what to say. I know it will take time, but any advice on how to get the ball rolling would be much appreciated.

Good luck with the writing!

Hi! I'm very glad you like my Bleach fics, and hey, being missed isn't a bad thing either ❤

(I do have one 80%–finished grimmichi fic that I'll put up on Ao3 soon-ish. The last chapter won't ever be written, but there's still some 28k of fluff and porn that ends on a fairly conclusive note on the emotional end.)

You're right that interacting with my fellow fans is a large part of what makes fandom fun for me. The community aspect of fandom is something that comes up a lot in conversations about why people flock to fandom, why they stay, and why they leave, and although I'm an introvert bordering on a hermit, the social aspects of fandom are its greatest draw. I write because I need to or I'll burst, but I share for the people here with me. That's not an uncommon attitude or experience. YMMV, but many of us want to connect with people who share our interests, and the level of creativity and commitment fandom inspires often thrives in collaboration and community.

How to get that sense of community is a trickier matter though. You're already in Discord servers, which seems to be the main fandom social space(s) these days. You're also on social media platforms where people can reach out to you or vice versa. So that's the basics covered. After that, it's largely a matter of organically developing relationships. But I do understand the hesitance to just roll up into someone's DMs; even though I have no issues with people popping up in my DMs, I also find it harder to initiate.

Plus, I've found that some sort of existing rapport gives you a better foundation when you do take the step into private exchanges. This can be Ao3 comment sections, Tumblr notes, or Discord group chat spaces. I tend to avoid Discord servers these days, but back when I had more tolerance for group chats, the people I met there often became closer friends. Mostly though, my pocket friends are people I met via Ao3 and, less frequently, Tumblr—fellow authors and readers in a specific fandom.

I know my regulars, here and on Ao3, and I've been a regular many times. Discussions in comments usually start out limited to the specific fic, but they can also include general fandom/canon stuff or even personal talk. Many times, you build a degree of familiarity with a person that way, and if the conversation moves to more private channels, you already have a shared base to build further conversation on.

So my best advice to find friends and like-minded fandom folks is to be active in Ao3 comments and Tumblr notes (...and whatever the corresponding thing is over on Xitter):

Reply to the comments on your stories and try to really engage with what your readers are saying. This is very much a personal preference, but the reason I try to reply with more than a generic "thanks" for longer, more in-depth comments is that, like I said above, nerding out with fellow fans is a huge part of why I love fandom. If people are already expressing interest in your story and you have a shared interest in canon, there's a lot of room there for fun conversations, even if they never go beyond one-off exchanges.

Comment on stories you like, and if you find specific authors you really love, let them know without reservations what you like about their takes and why you like them. One of my favorite commenting methods when I'm well and truly in love with something is to read everything once, then reread and leave longass comments on every chapter/fic. It's time-intensive, but I've never seen the effort go unappreciated. I've also been on the receiving end of this many times, and that's how several of my fandom friendships were born; one of my closest friends is someone I virtually kidnapped because I loved their tags on my JJK fic posts so much.

The above habits can be applied to Tumblr/Twitter too. Plus, there are plenty of people on such sites who engage deeply with fandom outside of fic writing. Be loud and proud about what you love. Sending a DM is an intimidating step, and not everyone will be receptive anyway, but most people welcome encouragement and appreciation. There are a lot of people I'm friendly with and fond of whom I've never interacted with directly, only via Tumble notes or asks.

I think all of this narrows down to being pretty generous when it comes to expressing your love for fandom and fellow fans. Won't always work out for various reasons, but as long as you're having fun, it's not wasted effort or time.

[moviemunchies]

Both critics and audiences loved this movie, though it didn’t do as well as hoped (even though it wasn’t a complete flop) because it ran against the unexpected juggernaut that was The Fault in Our Stars.

Anyway! I thought it was about time that I saw this movie.

Edge of Tomorrow is Groundhog Day but in a war against an alien invasion. There, I saved some time.

Or…. okay, so it goes like this: the world is invaded by seemingly unstoppable aliens called mimics, who quickly take over continental Europe. The war is not going well. Major William Cage works for the military, but only as a guy promoting recruitment. When he’s sent towards the front during an assault across the English Channel, he tries to weasel out of it. It doesn’t work! He’s sent back as a private, and promptly gets killed.

Except then he wakes up at the beginning of the previous day. He’s stuck in a time loop! And he gets killed in battle repeatedly, until a run-in with war hero Rita Vrataski, the Angel of Verdun. She tells him to find her when he wakes up. He does so, and discovers that Rita has also previously went through a time loop, which is how she got so good at killing Mimics. She’s hoping to guide him and end the war once and for all.

Once again, I am not familiar with the source material, a Japanese novel called All You Need Is Kill.

I believe I have reviewed two other time-loop movies on this blog? I’ve done Palm Springs and Groundhog Day. And all of them have different takes on the idea: one is a comedy about a reporter in a small town, another is set during a wedding weekend, and this one is in a war with aliens. Or, in short, it’s an action movie. And DANG is it good as an action movie. Lots of shooting, explosions, and our heroes fighting their way through hordes of enemies. The time-loop bit makes it feel a lot like a video game, especially with areas that you can’t quite get past because you don’t know how to beat certain enemies.

[The Librarians has an episode like this, I think? The video game concept?]

Of course, the makers of the film had the sense to realize that we didn’t have to see every single cycle of the loop. When we come across situations that are new to us, we are often surprised to learn that they’re not new to Cage, who has only gotten this far in the previous scenario. Watching the same attempts over and over again would be really grating, and would make the entire film really tiring to watch, in the same way that getting killed over and over again at the same part of a video game is incredibly annoying to go through.

And Cage is clearly very frustrated by his situation, especially bonding with Rita and seeing her fail over and over again, often in death. Which makes an interesting dynamic, because on her end, she’s only known him for about a day, whereas Cage has to go through this several dozen times. I’m not thrilled with the notion that this would lead to romance, which the ending suggests, but it’s also not wildly out there.

I do understand that watchers may be annoyed that this might feel, once again, like that action movie trope of a woman who is incredibly capable, but doesn’t get to be the hero and has to guide a man to that place. It’s not like Rita is a nobody in this movie, though, she does contribute quite a bit to the action throughout. YMMV on whether she still should have been the hero, though.

[This movie did re-jump start Emily Blunt’s career, though. She was going to really get going in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Black Widow, but had to pass because contractual obligations made her star in… Gulliver’s Travels. She got back in the action game with this movie, though.]

A problem this movie definitely has, though, is that I have no idea how Mimics work. Like, we get explanations on how they’re directed and led, but I mean… why are they called ‘Mimics’? And given how their bodies look, why does shooting them (albeit, shooting them a lot) seem to work? I wish we got a better grasp of what these aliens were like before the action really got started.

Edge of Tomorrow is, in my opinion, a darn good action movie. It’s also a demonstration of the kinds of cool things you can do with time loops, and science-fiction films in general. If you like action and science-fiction, you should try out this movie for the way it cleverly utilizes the time loop concept.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

apologies to all of my followers but i'm gonna continue being insane abt ff14. no end in sight. hope everyone bothered by that has blocked the tag by now

anyway anytime i say literally anything abt zenos' narrative position i feel the need to preface it with a VERY large "ymmv dependent on your wol" disclaimer bc even if it's got nothing to do with shana and is entirely canon based i know the degree of like. reciprocity there. varies wildly. anyway pretend i said that better the important thing is i'm yes-anding his bit. anyway

ANYWAY i think zenos and ardbert are really great narrative parallels.

like, to both of them, the wol is their only friend and equal. both of them share or believe they share a kind of experience and mentality with you that basically nobody else could understand. both of them show up after all of your other friends/allies have been completely stomped by an expansion's final boss, while you're the last one dragging yourself forward, to be the one who helps you to victory. they both, in some sense, give their life to you (ardbert gives his remaining aether to put your soul back together, zenos cuts his head off rather than live outside your fight and then rides to the end of reality for you later if you don't want to count that one). they both get their dead body possessed by elidibus, which is more of a "two nickels" thing than a total parallel but i think it's fun so i'm putting it here anyway. they both serve as both enemies and allies at different points in the story without changing their core mission statement much at all.

they are also diametric opposites. obviously.

i think to a degree they are expressions/mirrors of two semi-opposing sides of the wol. The Hero and The Hunter. ardbert is the other half of your soul, the warrior of light, and by his own admission his favorite part of the job was never the battle itself, it was the calm that came afterwards. the warmth and security of knowing they'd helped and protected people. he lives and dies by those bonds - he's got a whole party behind him, and they all choose to give their lives twice over to try and give norvrandt a tomorrow. his stand with you is him remembering that fact, reaffirming his desire to help them despite the struggles. he cares deeply abt the world, abt giving them hope. your fight against hades is a manifestation of that determination. you'll drag each other up no matter how much it hurts because goddammit this world is yours and you are not going to stand by and let it die.

zenos by contrast is nothing so lofty. he does not give a flying fuck about people's hopes, or pain, or any of their emotions, or the general concept of tomorrow. he is the part of the wol that is the hunter, the person they become in the heat of battle that scares the shit out of their enemies. the one who finds joy in their work not bc they know it's bringing hope and light to the world but purely bc of the thrill of it. you are an adventurer—you wouldn't do what you do if you didn't find some pleasure in it. his bond with you is completely inextricable from your capacity for violence. he throws off the endsinger's despair not bc he gives you hope but bc hope and despair are foreign objects to him. he reminds you that your friends, the star, the hopes and dreams of reality are all outside the room, and inside it is just you, and your enemy, and you are nothing before you are death to your enemies. so why the fuck is it not dead yet.

like, you could make the case that it's the Best and the Worst, but i think that's only circumstantially true bc again: the wol couldn't be the wol, couldn't keep fighting and winning the way they do, if that part of them wasn't there. but i DO think it is a very present duality, that they reflect matching and opposite parts of you—the part that fights for love of the world, and the part that does it for love of the game.