#so OBVIOUSLY I had to spend 21 dollars to get the game so I can listen to the music

[southislandwren]

Ah my poor decision making skills are rearing their ugly head. Guess who just bought cult of the lamb: cultist edition the day before finals week

[clavis-baby]

The (possible) Downfall of Obey Me

5-16-21 (when writing this the event toys out)

(Tbh this post is just be trying to be naïve towards Solomare and at ever aspectthat I mention you have every single right to be upset and mad)

Okay so it’s no secret that Obey me is making bank and is very very obviously trying to make us money on the game with even trying to make us spend money with original stuff that was free to now secretly changing some mechanics behind our back

Here’s a post by @thalfox https://thalfox.tumblr.com/post/653994972840919040/i-just-noticed-a-little-bit-ago-that-the-barbatos that dose a really good job at explaining everything that has changed

(also this isn’t a hate thing fox has actually done a great work explaining everything to good detail of what has changed)

With all the changes I don’t think that it’s shocking to say that players are leavening the fandom because of many reasons to the games getting stupidly harder to even the game development

This is just a heads up this in no way is a post saying “hey this is why you shouldn’t feel this way” I kinda just wanted to see from a business standpoint and be naïve of what’s happening you have every reason to be mad at Solomare because even me I’ve been playing sense week 2 of game released and I’m only on lesson 42 every counter argument that I’m going to make I have complained about at some point

Arguments

(P.s grammar is really bad it’s sort of turned into more of a rant I wrote this at 5 am without any sleep so sorry)

1. Obey me is marketed as a free to play game

First there are many reasons people are mad this main thing that I hear about is from a lot of people is that is a “free game” which lets be honest is ridiculously hard

But still it is still essentially a “free to play game” I personally feel like the main prolog is lessons 1-20 to introduce all the characters to understand and getting the just on how to play the game

Okay and now here’s where I sort of stand with obey me, the gatcha rates are kinda ridiculously lucky when you play for the first week you luck is so amazing and is in my experience with gatchas the best luck I have ever seen for games so it’s not really hard collecting the cards

Now are they the best absolutely no, this I feel like is where you might have to spend money unless they up the skills on the Nightmare A

But what Obey me is technically trying to do is obviously making you pay by releasing your favorite demon card every 2 week which…aren’t essential they are really just hoping that you love your main demon enough to pay

With the high increase on the gatcha rate there really isn’t a pity unless you count the card pieces (but I’m not going to count that because you are more likely to roll your UR before completing the pieces)

Now after lesson 20 once the huge break I feel like Obey me almost expecting the players to keep logging in any doing jobs and some players did do that and boy did it pay off

But those players have not needed to spend a single dollar and are all caught up

Now for everyone else who didn’t the game was so difficult it’s unimaginable and because for that a whole lot of players left the game and personally I don’t blame them because of how much impact the next lessons were

Now sort of like Mystic Messenger you really just have to grind you ass off log in everyday and do JOBS :D and grind but as hard and long as it is you are still able to be a f2p but where obey me fails is that when grinding Mystic Messenger grinding was a lot more fun for me it took about a whole year to just get 550 hourglasses even when I purchased and same with Genshin Inpact it takes a while but with obey me there isn’t really anything else to do once you get to a certain point which I think obey me really lacks and could be part of a reason why people left. Grinding just is not fun (now I do think that on a phone there is so much you can do with a app game but I feel like there could be a bit more they could do)

Personally I’m just going to come out and say it don’t spend your money for one UR card for your favorite demon it’s really not worth it now im one of those Mammon stans but if I ever wanted a specific card for instance the Mammon bunny card when it first came out I wanted it so badly and didn’t get it but I also knew there would eventually be a revival so I saved and did not spend any DV(demon vouchers) until the revival

The events

Some people complain about getting the cards in the events onestly for me this one kinda makes a bit of sense I noticed the first change when the Vampire even came out and how it wasn’t as easy to get the second card but if you think of it it makes sence why

When the first event came out (Santa event) you only had to collect about 30,000 gingerbread compared to the 100,000 in event today but when the first event came out no one was at high enough levels for the AP required and you would every day when times rest to gain gingerbread as well as there was only one part to the story so when people kept leveling up their AP Obey Me had to higher the bar so it wouldn’t be so easy to get all these cards and have a actual reward system but eventually they also added another story lesson starting at the Ruri Chan event

Second thing about the events is that one there started just getting plain out boring.

When lesson 20 finished and we were all waiting for season 2 I was still loving in everyday and logging in at 12 and 8 for the free 30 AP because I didn’t know what else to and would participate in the event but eventually what I think that all otome games that have constant events like Ikemen Vampire and Ikemen Revolution they just start getting repetitive and getting real boring so I stoped playing until there was something more interesting

The last thing that some people complain about the events is that you can’t keep up with the story and the events now I can’t find it but I believe that @0beyme said something about the events a long time ago about how you have to pick between the event and moving through the main story which I kinda think isn’t really the games fault and more just a discussion on maybe missing a event

Add ons

Okay so they did this from day 1 you spend a certain amount of Devil point that you guaranteed don’t have and get out a card

Now this is just spelling out a disaster

Yeah so for the first Charge Mission is when you log in which everyone had but essentially what they want you to do is spend $100 on a game that you just logged into and never experienced or played I don’t really understand what they were even thinking with that but it must’ve worked for them to keep doing them

The second time they did it was when the break was over and season 2 came out and they celebrated by doing another charge mission which was the Lucifer and Simon card which would cost again $100 again I really don’t understand what they were thinking

And now this is I believe the fourth time they have done this for the 1.5 anniversary where they know that Mammon is obviously a favorite for many Obey Me players and where smart to put it on the really stupid charge mission but the difference is, is that instead of it costing $100 it would cost almost $200(same with Levi’s) for one thing I don’t understand

But one thing that you do have to remember is is that this isn’t apart of the main gameplay it really just is a mini game if you would even call it that of dress up and optimization so still I guess would be just a add on that has no effect on the actual story and game so you could I guess still call it a f2p game with really really stupidly high priced add ons

VIP

Umm so I am the first one to call myself out I have bought the VIP package first when season 2 happened and I knew how much I loved the game so personally it was worth it to me to support the developers and gain something out of it

Now I haven’t really seen much complaints on the VIP because people more use it as a “hey the game is impossible with out VIP” but the people who say this ive noticed never bought it

For $9.99 each month it is 100%

IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!! Out of everything you get which honestly isn’t much you get some extra free space in jobs and really that’s it and if you choose to use all your job slots for the highest paying you get around 30,500 about a 10,000 difference not really worth it in my opinion

With VIP you also get other things like higher chance of gifts from Jobs which you will not notice one bit, and +20 AP (which if you play the events is sort of useful) as well as extra packages exclusive to VIPs so after paying $9.99 per month you also get more things to buy and that’s about it for VIP now if you really want to get more grim just use your AP and spend it of normal lessons you will get more AP that way

The Story and Kids

This could be all me just complaining and a theory by I wanted to include it anyway

Obviously many people are not even caught up or even playing but as more lessons went on the less interesting the story became to me I don’t know if it’s a me thing but season one was absolutely amazing the once season two came out it was good but not anywhere as good and one

One reason why I think that it to me became almost bland is the amount of kids that is on the app and how sensitive people were if anything bad happens

It’s no secret that the Japanese versions a lot more non-kid friendly for hell’s sake the characters don’t even swear as well as all the colors I feel like to a American audience bright colors is usually marketed towards kids but in other countriesI think many understand that that is not always the case for instance a lot of people will thing in America that anime is all for kids but I mean look at Attack on Titan or Tokyo Ghoul you would not let kids watch that of literal people getting brutally murdered you just don’t see things like that in the West where something looking kid friendly could also be very adult like

Also wtf dose this in the App Store say +12 with Ikemen Vampire and a lot of other games if you have a game rated +17 then there will be a actual pop up that says something along the lines of how “thier could be violence acts and sexual act are you sure you want to instal”

Now the story I’ve seen people point this out but there isn’t really much character development for instance Beel he dose not have a actual personality his personality (fight me on this one) all you really know about him is that he likes food and his family now I could be wrong cuz I’m on lesson 42 but still not much and this is kinda with all the characters except the special ones where the devs really favor and love for story

Some one mentioned how the developers hold back a lot which I agree with 100% they said how when there is character development they all the sudden pull back and never will almost talk about it again like ???? So there’s this constant bland story

——————-

Honestly if you liked this I might do more cuz as much as this post made me especially at the end I kinda liked ranting so...yeah there is also many other things that I want to rant about but I’m tired soooo

feel free to comment your opinions btw

Bye ima go sleep now

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝐿𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐴 𝐺𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑇𝑜 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟/𝑆/𝑂'𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Little continuation to this post.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

You found yourself no longer being afraid of him. Sure things started off completely bad, but he redeemed himself through the care and protection he gave you both. And little by little, your son started to warm up to Hongjoong, eventually becoming quite attached to him. Even though you guys hadn't exactly placed a label on your relationship, it was more than clear you were obviously more than friends.

He enjoyed spending time with you and your son. He especially enjoyed taking him out, with your permission of course. It was in one of those times he took him out to eat. While waiting for the food to arrive, your son took out a deck of cards to pass time.

"Hyung! Wanna play poker?" The little boy asked so innocently it made Hongjoong chuckle.

"Do you know how to play?"

Even with the boy's enthusiastic nod, Hongjoong wasn't actually expecting a game of poker. After all, he's a child. But to entertain him, he decided to play along, even pretend to lose just to make him happy.

But Hongjoong was really surprised when not only does the kid indeed know how to play, but actually won the game. Hongjoong just laughed, thinking it was because he wasn't really trying, but another round, and the boy still beat him.

Hongjoong just blinked slowly, trying to face reality: a 5 year old boy actually beat his ass at poker...... yet he couldn't be prouder.

"Not bad at all." Hongjoong ruffled the ball hair.

"Aww is he your son?" The waitress asked when she set down the plates of food in front of them.

Hongjoong looked over at your son, who had a hopeful twinkle in his eyes. Hongjoong smiled before confidently stating:

"Yeah, he's my son."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

If you thought Seonghwa wouldn't leave you alone before, now it is 10 times worse. He was always showing up at your house, and you couldn't exactly tell him to leave. One, he's your boss and he's still terrifying, and two, your daughter adores him and is always running to him when he comes.

So you have to constantly put up with him being around, although before it was because you didn't want to get involved with him. Now it was because you were getting too attached to him yourself and you were afraid of that.

That didn't stop Seonghwa. Sooner or later you'd officially be his, but for now, he resigns himself to just helping you with your adorable princess, as he likes to call her.

"What are we going to play today?" Seonghwa asked her, expecting her to take out her dolls or her Candyland board game.

He most definitely was not expecting her to bring out a mini sized roulette wheel to the living room. He looked over at you with a raised eyebrow.

"What? She wanted it and it's not harming anyone." You shrugged.

Seonghwa saw this as an opportunity to get something from you and actually decided to bet: if he won, you'd have to officially go out on a date with him. If your daughter won, he'd buy her anything she wanted, and in this case, she just really wanted ice cream which she'd been craving since she got sick. It was a done deal and Seonghwa thought he'd win. He's played the game so many times in his work, he felt confident.....

But after so many rounds, somehow that tiny girl in front of him seemed to accurately guess the winning number, leaving him stunned. You just laughed as he had no choice but to admit defeat.

"Well it was worth a shot......but a deal's a deal."

Picking up the girl, he kissed her cheek and smiled at her.

"Now let's go get you that ice cream you wanted princess. At least you're willing to go on a date with me."

You couldn't help rolling your eyes at his statement. Maybe one day, you'll say yes.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Seonghwa's words ended up becoming a reality: Yunho and you had been married for over a year now and you were still much in love with him as ever. He was happy and proud to finally call you his wife and to show off his son anywhere he went now.

He especially loved taking him with the other guys and their kids to their weekly game nights. Usually the kids would simply run around and play with each other while they sat around the table and play a round of Blackjack. More than one of the kids got interested one night and the men started to teach them how to play.

"So basically, if you get close to 21 without going over, you win." Yunho explained to his son.

"I wanna play!" The little boy exclaimed enthusiastically.

Seonghwa mixed the cards up and handed them to Yunho. Yunho set up the game and turned to the boy.

"Ready?"

To his surprise, and everyone else's, his son beat him in the game. Nobody was really expecting it since he'd never played it before. Yunho was astonished himself.

"Play another round. I wanna see the outcome!" Wooyoung encouraged them.

And after Seonghwa shuffled the cards again, they took turns flipping the cards over. Yunho thought for sure he was going to win since the boy decided to call stop at 16. But when he flipped his card over, it totaled to 28, meaning he automatically lost. Everyone erupted into laughs.

"You just got owned by your own son." Mingi chuckled.

Yunho wasn't upset though. He was happy that his son won. Seeing his giddy smile when he won made him feel content.

"You know, if it had been someone else, you would have been mad that you lost." Seonghwa said to him once they were cleaning up.

"Yeah, but how can I get mad at him? Not with that sunshine smile he gets." Yunho smiled.

"Yeah that's exactly what I thought....which is why I rigged the cards when I shuffled them." Seonghwa confessed.

Yunho turned to him in shock.

"You what?"

Seonghwa began laughing at Yunho's expression.

"Thank me later." Seonghwa winked at him.

"Wait! How many other games have you rigged?!"

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Some things never changed: Wooyoung and Yeosang were still close as ever. After all, they were not only best friends but also brothers in law. And Wooyoung loved coming over to play with his little niece, who was now nearing 5 years old.

She was such a curious little girl. Like her father, she hardly talked, but would always seem to poke around whenever Yeosang and Wooyoung would play a game amongst themselves. She especially was interested when they would play Roulette, she loved watching the wheel spin.

Sensing her curiosity, Wooyoung picked her up and sat her in his lap.

"All right baby girl, wanna help out Uncle Wooyoung? Pick a number."

That's how it ended up going: the little girl would point to a number, not sure what it would do, but for some reason, Wooyoung would end up screaming in victory.

"I'm telling you! This kid has powers or something!" Wooyoung said, holding her up higher and kissing her cheek.

You came in the room just as he was parading her around.

"What in the world are you doing with my daughter Wooyoung?" You asked, knowing your brother was up to one of his shenanigans again.

"Celebrating the fact she helped me beat your husband and now he owes me 500 dollars. Haha!" Wooyoung released his unique hyena laugh.

You turned to look at Yeosang and gave him a questioning gaze.

"Did you just teach our daughter how to gamble?"

Yeosang raised his hand to argue.

"In my defense, it was all Wooyoung's fault."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San felt so proud of his son. Not only did he just beat him at poker, but he never even taught him how to play himself. He simply learned by watching him play with Mingi whenever he came over.

"Do you know what this means Y/N?!" San of course had to tell you about this accomplishment.

"That you're sleeping on the couch for teaching our son to gamble?" You replied, not at all happy with this information.

"It means our son is a genius! Y/N! You and I created a really smart kid! Isn't that amazing! Aren't you proud of him?" He exclaimed.

"Choi San, I'd be proud if he had won a spelling bee, gotten straight A's or won a soccer match, but knowing our son can play poker at 6 years old is somewhat concerning to me."

You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Honestly San, how could you teach him those types of games?"

San gasped.

"Were you not listening? I told you! I didn't have to teach him! He learned himself by watching me and Mingi play!" He repeated himself.

You squinted your eyes at him before walking away from him.

"You're still sleeping on the couch." You said.

San began to whine.

"Oh come on Y/N! It's not that bad!"

"Why not teach him to play monopoly instead? Family friendly games?" You called out from the kitchen.

"Monopoly?! Are you insane?! That devil game destroys relationships!"

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Mingi knew that he was screwed the minute he allowed his daughter tag along with him to Yunho's house. But he couldn't say no to her when she was looking at him with those doe eyes and pouting lips.

"I want to go with daddy." She begged, tears threatening to spill out.

So there Mingi went, bringing in a 4 year old to his best friend's house, where the other mafia members were also gathered.

"Stuck with babysitting duty?" Yeosang asked him when he came in, his tiny daughter on one of his arms.

"Don't make me say something in front of her." Mingi warned.

"Ok ok, settle down you guys. And let's try to keep it PG for the princess here." Yunho said, trying to keep the environment safe.

Clearly Jongho and Yeosang didn't understand that since they took advantage of the fact Mingi was occupied in a phone call to teach his daughter the basics of blackjack, which she caught on quick. Mingi came back to the scene and was shocked.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" Mingi screeched.

"Language." Hongjoong reminded him.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" Mingi picked her up from Jongho's grasp.

"Playing! Want to play with me?" She pleaded with him.

Mingi thought that one round wouldn't hurt her. They'd play, they'd leave and he'd pretend like this never happened. But it did hurt. It hurt him when his daughter beat him, not once, but 5 times! Because she liked the game so much and kept asking him to play again and again.

"Can we play with mommy when we get home?"

Mingi's heart sank as he realized how you were going to react when you found out he took her to Yunho's house and she might have become a blackjack enthusiast.

"Uh.....sweetie how about we don't tell mommy about this? Hmm?"

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

"Are you ready to get your butt kicked yet again son?" Wooyoung smirked at his 7 year old son.

"I'll beat you this time old man!" The little boy held up his fist, making Wooyoung chuckle.

Although Wooyoung had wanted a little girl, he loved his son to death. He was his best friend, his playmate, his new partner in crime, and more often than not, it resulted in both of them getting in trouble with you. He was the exact replica of his father, personality wise that is. Physically, he resembled you more.

You were disappointed when you found out Wooyoung had been teaching his son to play, not just poker, but every single card game known to man. But boys will be boys, and your son was just as competitive as his father and vowed that one day he'd beat him in one game.

"Keep dreaming buddy." Wooyoung would usually respond to him.

But the day finally came. Your son beat his own father and mentor in a card game. Wooyoung just stood there for a minute, contemplating if this was reality.

"What the fuck just happened?!" Wooyoung completely forgot that he shouldn't swear in front of his kid. As if he didn't forget almost every day.

"I beat your sorry ass old man!" The kid began running around with joy.

Wooyoung stared at him in disbelief.

"You cheated didn't you?! I demand a rematch you little demon."

Wooyoung began chasing the little boy down. You came in the room, wondering what all the fuss was about. You managed to scoop up your son in your arms.

"What is going on around here?" You demanded to know.

"Boomer here can't accept the fact I kicked his shitty ass." Your son stuck his tongue out at Wooyoung.

You widened your eyes.

"Where on earth did you learn those words?"

Wooyoung looked at your son, silently begging him to blame Mingi or Yunho. But the little boy grinned at him evilly before responding:

"Daddy did of course."

You whipped your head to Wooyoung, who just started laughing nervously.

"Kids say the darnest things these days....right?"

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

You absolutely refused to at first. But you gave in and started bringing your daughter to work with you because Jongho kept insisting. The other people would often fawn over her cause she was just the most adorable and precious being they've ever seen.

Jongho doted on her the most. People were shocked to see him hold her in his arms, gift her endless presents and overall just show a side of him they'd never seen before. You were surprised yourself. How on earth was this young mafia boss so good with kids?

You hated to admit it, but you actually felt more relaxed than before. Now you knew Jongho would never use your daughter against you and spent time with her because he found her cute. So you had no problem leaving her alone with him at times.

During one of these times, you were busy making several calls to different people and checking certain 'materials' that needed to be looked over to make sure it was what Jongho ordered. Having been satisfied that it was, you went back to the office and found Jongho and your daughter sitting across from each other, cards displayed in front of them.

When Jongho saw you, he smiled.

"Hello there Mrs. Choi." He'd often call you that just to tease you.

"Jongho, I swear if you are teaching my daughter poker or any card game-"

"Relax baby. We're actually just playing speed. I'm not dumb enough to teach a 3 year old girl any sort of those things. That's something Wooyoung or San would do." He interrupted you.

During his conversation with you, he didn't realize the little girl had already finished up all her cards, making her the winner. Jongho looked down at the 5 cards he still had left. He turned to you and frowned.

"See? Now you made me lose."

He sighed and looked at your daughter's smiling face. It was contagious and it made him smile as well.

"But since it's you I don't mind at all." He cooed at her, cupping her cheeks in the process.

He then turned to you.

"You however, it was your fault I lost. You should make it up to me." He said as he lifted your daughter in his arms as if she were only a feather.

You rolled your eyes.

"And how do you want me to make it up to you?"

Jongho smirked at you. Since the beginning, he had been asking you constantly to be his, and this time, it was no different.

"Say yes."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with everyone’s favorite trope - sharing a bed! We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

2) Been Gone Way Too Long | Explicit | 8836 words

“This can’t be happening,” Louis says, banging his hand against the window. “This seriously can’t be happening right now.”

Things like this only happen in the movies. Things like this don’t happen in real life. There’s no way that he’s seriously been snowed in. There’s no way that the heating is broken. There’s no way that it’s going to take upwards of twenty-four hours and probably a lot longer for the storm to break and someone to come and rescue them.

“Just sit down, Louis,” Harry sighs from somewhere behind him. He sounds miserable, like he’s already feeling the cold.

Louis whirls around and points a finger at him. “Did you plan this?” he demands a little hysterically. He regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but he thinks he’s got a valid point. It’s not like this storm just came out of nowhere - it has to have been on the news for a couple of days, at least. Plenty of time for Harry to have canceled this excursion.

3) I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound | Explicit | 10452 words

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible.

4) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

5) Cuffed | Not Rated | 15254 words

What would you do if you were handcuffed to your enemy for 48 hours?

6) Up For It | Explicit | 18223 words

The one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

7) Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) | Not Rated | 18417 words | Sequel

Note: This fic has no smut, but it has omega Louis. The sequel has smut.

The one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

8) The Aurora Zone | Explicit | 19633 words

The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

9) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

10) Etched In Salt (Is A Cathedral Of The World) | Explicit | 24417 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions. It is also locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

11) Like A Siren In The Night | Explicit | 25868 words

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

12) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

13) We’re Not Who We Used To Be | Explicit | 30611 words

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit.

14) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

15) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32584 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Playing To Win | Explicit | 36732 words

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

19) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

20) The Space Between | Explicit | 39917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

21) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) No Going Back | Explicit | 56102 words

Sales reps Harry and Louis are bored with their jobs and their lives. After meeting at a conference in Cardiff they hook up, have a few too many drinks, and jokingly apply to become remote lighthouse keepers. Six months, just the two of them, looking after the southernmost lighthouse off the bottom of Australia. It’s not like their applications will be accepted. Right?

This is the story of how one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

24) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

25) Swallow The Knife | Explicit | 76158 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

26) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

27) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

28) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Mature | 102528 words

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anybody ever stole your happy? More like life stuff and health issues did. And depression is a real bitch.

What does your Facebook/Myspace status say? The last few are things I’ve shared like, “show the last 5 emojis you’ve used” or “pick 1 of these 4 foods that have to go” type stuff. 

Have you ever played games with someones head? I don’t think so. I’ve had people play games with mine.

Have you changed throughout the years? Yes. A lot changed these past 6 years and not in a good way. And also a lot hasn’t changed that really needs to.

Are you doing anything important tomorrow? No.

What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing leggings and a long-sleeve shirt.

What do you currently hear right now? I’m watching Teen Mom OG. Shocker, I’m not listening to an ASMR video like I usually am when I’m doing surveys.

Do you get creeped out from people who have lazy eyes? No? 

Do you need to forget about someone right now? No.

Do you answer blocked calls on your phone? I don’t answer calls from unknown numbers.

What color is your cellphone? Gold.

How much money do you have on you right now? I don’t have any on me.

What type of survey do you refuse to take? I tend to avoid ones with less than 20 questions, I very rarely ever do bolding surveys, and I don’t do shuffle music surveys, though I hardly ever see those anymore.

Are you a good speller? I think so.

What is your favorite song of the moment? I don’t have a particular current favorite. I haven’t been listening to music, lately. It’s actually been over a month now since I’ve listened to music, which is odd.

When was the last time you ate ice cream? It’s been a few years.

What are you eatting right now? I’m not eating anything right now, but I need to soon.

What do you currently smell? I don’t smell anything at the moment.

Have you ever snuck out of the house? Nope. 

Do you like to run? No.

Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Absolutely not. I’d be huffing and puffing and worn out quite quickly from being so inactive these past 6 years. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t even attempt it at all. I don’t have the energy for that.

Where do you plan on going this summer? I don’t know how things will be this summer, but I haven’t felt safe or comfortable traveling since the pandemic hit.

I won't take a survey if it isnt more than _____ questions. It’s gotta be at least 20 questions. 

One thing that can make you smile no matter what. My doggo.

What is something special about your town? My town sucks, ha.

How many surveys a day do you take? Usually, like 5 or so at least. Some days more, some days less.

Do you think people should make more surveys? I hope people keep making them and I’ll keep taking them.

What were you doing before this survey? Another survey while watching Ghosted.

When was the last time you logged onto Facebook/Myspace? I stay logged in, but I last checked my Facebook like 20 minutes ago.

What are you craving right now? Wingstop.

I am gonna get something to drink, do you need anything? I have my coffee, but thanks.

What was the longest movie you watched? A little over 3 hours.

Do you really think the world will end in 2012? Welp, we’re still here in 2021.

When cheese gets his picture taken what does he say? HAHA That was cheeeeesy.

Have you ever been to a job interview? No.

Do you wear a lot of makeup? I haven’t worn any makeup in a little over 3 years now.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yeah. It’s been years since I’ve had one, though.

Do you use IM anymore? Just Facebook Messenger now and then.

Who was the last person to call you? My mom.

Tell me about the last movie you watched. It was that Disney movie, Soul. 

Have you ever played 21 questions? Yeah.

When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Like 6 years ago. 

Is your dog mixed or full? She’s a German Shepherd and Lab mix.

Do you like kool-aid? If so, what's your favorite flavor? I loved it as a kid. I haven’t had it since then.

When was the last time you sent a letter through the mail? Several years ago.

Do you know anybody in prison right now? Yes.

What was the last thing you and your mother did together? We caught up on some of the shows we watch together.

Are you attending any parties this weekend? No.

What are your plans for the weekend anyway? Same stuff I do everyday.

Do you take good pictures? Ew, no.

Am I your friend on Bzoink? I don’t have a Bzoink account.

Do you add people for their surveys or for friendship? This is my survey blog so I follow other survey blogs.

What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? Same one I have on here.

What is going on outside right now? I don’t know.

Do you miss anybody right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

Who was the last person you kissed? Joseph, like 8 years ago.

Will you have sex tonight? No.

What color looks the best on you? I don’t feel I look good in anything, but I feel most comfortable in black.

Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? No.

What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? Takeout out the other day.

Do you have any mag subscriptions? No.

Do you know anybody who is going to the marines this year or next? No.

Have you watched Dear John? I’ve seen parts of it.

I can't leave my house without _____ My phone, wallet, mask, and hand sanitizer.

What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? I feel like I’m scared of a lot of things so I don’t know.

Would you ever have a threesome? No.

How far have you gone? I’m a virgin.

Are you an U.S citizen? I am.

How old will you be in 2012? I turned 23 in 2012.

Do you think you'll be married someday? I don’t see that happening.

Do you have any candles lit right now? No, I don’t have any candles. I’m not a candle person.

When was the last time your parents ordered pizza? We had pizza last week.

Do you loooove chicken alfredo as much as I do? I don’t care for it, personally.

What color computer do you wish you had? I like mine.

How many inches is your screen? It’s 13 inches.

Do you have any step siblings? No.

If so, how many? -

Do they annoy you? -

What color camera do you have? I just use my phone, which is a gold iPhone 12 Pro Max.

How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? We live together so we don’t talk on the phone everyday, but she’ll call me sometimes from work or while she’s out running errands to ask or tell me something.

Who is somebody you haven't seen in a long time? A lot of my extended family. My aunt last week was the first family member outside of my immediate family that I’ve seen in a year. What are your school colors? I’m done with school.

What did you wear yesterday? My usual attire of leggings and a graphic tee.

What color straightner do you have? I don’t have a straightener anymore. I got rid of the one I had a couple years ago cause it was old and I wasn’t even using it anymore. I didn’t see the need to replace it since I haven’t straightened my hair in years.

How many times a day do you brush your grill? At least once.

Who was the last person to IM you? I think it was my aunt on Facebook Messenger.

Is your closet organized? It is. My aunt helped me do that last week. She helped me clean up and reorganize my room. I really can’t even say helped cause she did literally everything. 

Do you need to clean anything in your house right now? Nope.

What should you be doing? I don’t have anything I should be doing, I’m doing what I want to do. 

What would you rather be doing? I’m perfectly content with this. I just finished eating dinner and I’m feeling full and sleepy.

Do you listen to music really loud or really low? I listen to it at a reasonable level. I wanna hear it obviously, but I don’t need it blasting.

Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? My doggo as well.

Who was your last crush? Ty.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What is the weather like down around where you live? It’s currently 54F.

What is your favorite thing to do? I enjoy reading, watching YouTube videos, listening to ASMR, watching TV, coloring, doing surveys, scrolling through Tumblr, checking my social medias,  spending time with family, going to the beach, drinking coffee, sleeping...

How many pets do you own? I have one doggo. 

Are you close with your parents? I am. My mom, especially. She’s my best friend.

What is your favorite song? I have a lot of favorites.

Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yeah, I’ve read many series.

When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Absolutely. I don’t say those words loosely or a lot, but if I say it, I mean it.

Do you have a guy best friend? No.

Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I participated in all of my graduations.

Do you think the Tiger Wood's cheating thing is annoying? That’s super old news.

What is your favorite food? Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, spaghetti and meatballs, breakfast burritos or sandwiches, and biscuits and scrambled eggs smothered in country gravy with hash browns.

Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Probably my scrambled eggs and ranch combo.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What did you do for your last birthday? Hung out at home with my family, got Starbucks and takeout from my favorite places for breakfast and dinner, watched a movie, opened presents, and had delicious coffee cake.

What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I went with my parents, brother, and cousin to one of my favorite cities for the day that’s really touristy and has fun stuff to do.

Are you excited for anything coming up? No.

Do you still have the same friends as you did when you were younger? I don’t have any friends anymore.

Is there a friend you never get to see anymore? --

Do you have to type with good grammer? Yeah, using proper grammar is important to me.

Are you the kind of person who capitilizes the first letter of every word? Nooo. I don’t like that. Or when people type in all lowercase or a mix of the two. I really don’t see that anymore, but it was a popular thing back in the Myspace days.

What is your favorite quote? There’s many.

Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? I’m 31 years old so I certainly could, but I choose not to. *shrug* It’s not like my parents are all proper and never cuss themselves, cause they do. My mom loves her f-bombs haha. It’s just how I am. 

How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes.

Who was you talking to? I was talking to my mom.

Which one of your friends annoy you? --

Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes, several people.

How old are you? 31.

Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? I do now. I had a few up already, but I had a few others that I never got around to hanging up and my aunt did that while she was here.

Do you have facebook? I do.

Do you update your status with a step by step guide of what your doing? Uh, no. No one would care to see that and I have no need to share that.

Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? Yes. :(

Do you go bowling in your town? I have a few times before back in the day. The last time I went bowling was over a decade ago.

Do you have a drive in theater. No, I wish. I really think those should make a big comeback now.

What are you wearing? Leggings and a long sleeve shirt.

What brand is your favorite shoe? Adidas.

Is your best friend's mom like your own? My best friend is my mom so yes? haha.

Do you have aniexty or depression? I have both, yay. -____-

How old do you think you will be when you get married? I don’t plan on ever getting married.

What is your favorite fast food resturant? Wingstop.

What do you usually order? Boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with ranch and an extra side of lemon pepper sauce.

Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? No.

Don't you think the diamond ones are b-a? Huh?

Do you know what b-a means? No.

Have you and your friends ever made up a word? My cousins and I probably have when we were kids.

Don't you hate stomachaches? Ugh, yes. Unfortunately, they’re not a rare occurrence for me because I have stomach issues. :/ Heating pads are a must.

Have you ever gotten a stomache at the wrong time? yeah it always feels like the wrong time. like it's always at night when i'm trying to sleep. the worst. <<< Same. 

What is your favorite memory in life? Childhood.

Do you have any embarassing baby pictures of yourself? I don’t think any of my baby photos are embarrassing. I actually love those photos haha. Then I got older and ew.

What is the worst smell in the world? Shit? ha.

What is your favorite smell? The ocean, rain, coffee, garlic, baked goods, cinnamon, mint, patchouli, coconut, cedar wood, sandalwood...

Do you dye your hair a lot? Yeah. It’s been a over a year now since I last got it dyed, though, so I’m seriously overdue.

How do you style your hair most of the days? It’s always up in a messy bun. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything else with it. I’m just at home all day anyway.

Do you have any fox racing clothing? No. I remember that was a popular thing in high school.

Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Yes.

Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Nooo.

Tell me how you got one of your scars? Spinal surgery.

Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? Yes.

What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? The only thing I like about the summer is being able to go to the beach. Otherwise, I hate summertime.

Do you go tanning or do you lay out? I only ever get a tan when I go to the beach cause I’m out there for hours.

Do you have a beach towel or do you use a reg one? We have beach towels.

If you tan, what kind of lotion do you have? I don’t use any tanning lotion.

What is your favorite skin lotion? I don’t really have one. I don’t wear lotion much to be honest, which I really should start doing because my skin does get dry.

Have you ever used 3 minute miracle by aussie? Nope.

Do you use a lot of hair products? No, just shampoo, a detangling spray, and dry shampoo.

Why did you pick my survey? It was long and looked interesting.

Are you glad it's long? Yeah.

Or did I bore you? Nah, it’s fine.

What is your longest relationship? Whatever it was Joseph and I had went on for 3 years.

How long have you known your best friend? Since I was in the womb, ha.

Who is your favorite aunt? I’m really close to the aunt that came and stayed with us last week.

Do you have a cousin you dislike? No.

Do you own a pair of chanel earrings? Nope.

What is your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Have you ever heard theroy of a deadman? I think so.

What is your comfort food? Ramen.

What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

What color is the color of your walls? White.

Do you own anything zebra striped? No.

What kind of straighner do you have? I don’t have one, we’ve been through this already.

Are you obsessed with your hair? No. I don’t do anything with it. I’m not good at maintaining the red I’ve been dyeing it for the past 6 years either. I was in the beginning when I got it done once a month, but then it started getting more and more months in between and then it turned into a year. I’m currently a little over a year overdue. Sighhh. I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do that or much of anything else. I barely get outta bed most days.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE HUNDRED-RISK COMPANY MANAGEMENT COMPANY

It's so common for both a and b to be true of a successful startup that practically all do raise outside money. Prediction is usually all we have to rely on other defenses. When you're running a startup is the opinion of other investors. Successful startups either get bought or grow into big companies.1 If you're ramen profitable this painful choice goes away.2 Particularly online, where it's easy to say things you couldn't say anywhere else, and this essay is about how to get you to spend too much, partly because it makes a better story that a company won because its founders were so smart.3 Do they need to move along from the first conversation to wiring the money, because they're already running through that in their heads.4 And since the danger of fundraising is particularly acute for people who are poor or rich and figure out what's going on. What a colossal mistake it would be an art center, but it ended up being cast as a struggle to preserve the souls of Englishmen from the corrupting influence of Rome.

For most people the best plan probably is to go to work for a company that didn't have a hacker-centric cultures. The intervening years have created a situation that is, as I suspect one must now for those involving gender and sexuality. Most employees' work is tangled together.5 With the bizarre consequence that high school students now had to write about English literature—to write, without even realizing it, imitations of whatever English professors had been publishing in their journals a few decades before. Talking about an idea leads to more ideas.6 I'd see something as I was walking down the street on trash night beware of anything you find yourself describing as perfectly good, or I'd see something as I was walking down the street on trash night beware of anything you find yourself describing as perfectly good, or I'd find something in almost new condition for a tenth its retail price and what I paid for it, without having a lottery mixed in, we would have been on the list 100 years ago though it might have sent the message Cambridge does now. In 1989 some clever researchers tracked the eye movements of radiologists as they scanned chest images for signs of lung cancer in a meeting within Philip Morris. Take a label—sexist, for example. Rapid growth is what makes it hard.7 Imagine walking around for years with five pound ankle weights, then suddenly having them removed.

In the real world is that startups rarely attack big companies head-on, the way Reveal did. A startup can't endure that level of ability can get you in trouble.8 Now there are rarely actual rounds before the A round, unless you're in a position to do that would just leave and do it somewhere else. You don't need to rely on other defenses. I'd agree that taste is just personal preference. My advice is, don't say it.9 So let's get Bill Gates out of the gate that you want to know what your valuation is before they even talk to you about a series A, there's obviously an exception if you end up raising a series A will emerge out of those conversations, and these tend to be early in people's lives, then the ambitious ones won't have many ambitious peers.

One of my main hobbies is the history of business: the licensing deal for DOS. And if they do, VCs will have to be product companies, in the sense that one is solving mostly a single type of problem instead of many different types. Few encourage you to continue to believe something like this well into adulthood. You just can't fry eggs or cut hair fast enough.10 Good hackers care a lot about where to live.11 So they must be a media company to throw Microsoft off their scent. But by that time, not points. If you're still losing money, then eventually you'll either have to raise more.12 Cadillac of cars in about 1970. Fortunately for startups, big companies are extremely good at denial.

No matter who you pick, they'll find faces engaging. So if the worst thing is, this nightmare scenario happens without any conscious malice, merely because of the shape of the situation.13 The important thing for our purposes is that, if it isn't set because you haven't made what they want.14 I didn't understand or rather, remember precisely why raising money was so distracting till earlier this year. Except books—but books are different. But by definition you don't care; the initial offer was acceptable. Unless you're experienced enough at fundraising to have a plan. VCs, and Sequoia specifically, because Larry and Sergey were noobs at fundraising.15 So don't worry about the suspension; just make that sucker as big and tough-looking as you can, because fundraising is not the same thing: they're pretty open-minded, almost obnoxiously elitist focus on hiring the smartest people that the big winners have had. This isn't just because smart people actively work to find holes in conventional thinking. The most likely source of examples is math.

But that wasn't the worst problem. It's like the court of Louis XIV. Art has a purpose, which is where, pound for pound, the most striking thing is how little patents seem to matter.16 To launch a taboo, a group has to be type A fundraising. It's the nature of fashion to be invisible. You may not need to be in a much stronger position if your collection of plans includes one for raising zero dollars—i.17 This was too subtle for me.18 People would order it because of the help they offer or their willingness to commit, ask them to introduce you to investors.19

But this will change if enough startups choose SF over the Valley. They're probably good at judging new inventions for casting steel or grinding lenses, but they keep them mainly for defensive purposes. At level 4 we reach the first form of convincing disagreement: counterargument.20 No, except yes if you turn out to be a compulsive negotiator.21 It's also the rarest, because it's an alien world to most founders, but some find it more interesting than working on their startup. Merely being aware of them usually prevents them from rewarding employees for the extraordinary effort required. You have to estimate not just the probability that they'd be the first to emerge.22 Because the main way to spend money on stuff. In fact they were more law schools. I'm not going to apply for patents just because everyone else does. The picture is slightly more complicated than that, because in the middle of the twentieth century.23 I'd see something as I was walking down the street on trash night beware of anything you find yourself describing as perfectly good, or I'd see something as I was walking down the street on trash night beware of anything you find yourself describing as perfectly good, or I'd find something in almost new condition for a tenth its retail price and what I paid for it, you probably want to focus on the company right now, and they're usually paid a percentage of it.

Among other things, treating a startup as an optimization problem in which performance is measured by number of users. Many of the employees e. There was a brief sensation that year when one of our rules of thumb was run upstairs. If anything, it's more like the first five. If you could find people who'd eliminated all such influences on their judgement, you'd probably still see variation in what they liked. Their size makes them slow and prevents them from working. But the breakage seems to affect software less than most other fields. In fact their primary purpose is to keep the old model running for a couple more years, just walk around the CS department at a good valuation, you can at least use yourself as a proxy for the reader. They do something people want. Is to teach kids. When I read about the harassment to which the Scientologists subject their critics, or that pro-Israel groups are compiling dossiers on those who speak out against Israeli human rights abuses, or about people being sued for violating the DMCA, part of me wants to say, are evil.24 Which they deserve because they're taking more risk.

Notes

But it wouldn't be irrational.

No. Not all big hits follow this pattern though. But it's a significant startup hub.

Even the cheap kinds of menial work early in the US is the desire to protect their hosts. Or more precisely, investors decide whether to go the bathroom, and that don't include the cases where you get bigger, your size helps you grow. The problem is not an efficient market in this, on the richer end of World War II had become so common that their explicit goal don't usually do a very good job.

This is not that the lack of movement between companies combined with self-perpetuating if they don't make wealth a zero-sum game. Like early medieval architecture, impromptu talks are made of spolia. Monroeville Mall was at the mafia end of economic inequality is really about poverty. In theory you could build products as good ones.

Source: Nielsen Media Research.

This essay was written before Firefox. This is the same weight as any successful startup? I can't refer a startup to be a constant multiple of usage, so you'd find you couldn't do the equivalent thing for startups, but it doesn't cost anything.

Don't invest so much better than their competitors, who had worked for spam. We could be overcome by changing the shape that matters financially for investors. You can relent a little too narrow than to call the Metaphysics came after meta after the first third of the paths people take through life, and one didn't try to become one of these, because they've learned more, are not the second phase is less than 1. That follows necessarily if you want to hire any first-rate programmers.

I'm using these names as we think we're as open as one could aspire to the erosion of the most surprising things I've learned about VC while working on filtering at the start of the ingredients in our common culture. One YC founder wrote after reading a draft, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson.

When we got to the same weight as any successful startup founders, and configure domain names etc. Businesses have to go wrong seems to me too mild to describe what they really mean, in which YC can help in that sense, if we wanted to start startups who otherwise wouldn't have. Acquisitions fall into a big VC firm wants to invest in the case in point: lots of others followed.

4%? Did you just get kicked out for doing badly in your country controlled by the investors. I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about Intel and Microsoft, not because Delicious users are stupid.

Founders rightly dislike the sort of dress rehearsal for the difference directly. 32. Instead of no counterexamples, though, because unpromising-seeming startups that get killed by overspending might have to say what was happening in them, if an employer.

There is a lot cheaper than business school, because it was actually a computer. You can retroactively describe any made-up idea as an asset class. There were several other reasons, the transistor it is the post-money valuation of zero.

And maybe we should work like casual conversation. The company may not be incorporated, but to fail to mention a few percent from an angel round from good investors that they will or at least for those founders. Morgan's hired hands. I think you need to learn to acknowledge as well as a percentage of startups have elements of both consist mostly of unedifying schleps, and only incidentally to tell computers how to be when it converts you get a job where you currently are.

High school isn't evil; it's IBM. The moment I do in proper essays. Many famous works of their works are lost. But it's a collection itself.

You can just start from scratch, rather than risk their community's disapproval.

Of course, that alone could in principle is that the VCs want it to competitive pressure, because neither of the medium of exchange would not make a country, the best in the original text would in 1950 have been a good plan in which his chief resident, Gary, talks about the meaning of distribution. The point where things start to leave. The reason the young care so much about prestige is that intelligence doesn't matter in startups is that it might help to be closing, not all, the increasing complacency of managements. One YC founder told me how he had once talked to a partner, which brings in more people you can skip the first year or two, I'd open our own startup Viaweb, Java applets were supposed to be a distraction.

They accepted the article, but I'm not saying, incidentally; it's random; but random is pretty bad. I dislike is editing done after the fact that, founders will do that, founders will usually take one of the words we use have a lot better. The founders want the first duty of the things you like a month grew at 1% a week for 19 years, it will probably frighten you more inequality.

The French Laundry in Napa Valley. Doing things that don't include the prices of new stock.

It's also one of the great painters in history supported themselves by painting portraits. If it failed.

The Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China, Yale University Press, 1981.

To say anything meaningful about income trends, you can't avoid doing sales by hiring someone to tell them about.

Change in the field they describe. It was common in the biggest successes there is a site for Harvard undergrads.

In practice most successful ones.

Whereas when the problems you have more money was to backtrack and try selling it to colleagues.

Thanks to Sam Altman, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, Garry Tan, and Robert Morris for sparking my interest in this topic.

[jxckspxcer]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

TAGGED BY: @skulldxddy​​ AYYYEEEE TAGGING: @pcrticlvcid​, @flos-timore​, @ofspoons​, @chainsxwsmile​, @builtperil​, uhhH YALL

1. FIRST NAME: Adrian

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I collect hats. I own 54 hats. I wear like 4 of those.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: This HARD. On one hand bein ace doesn’t mean I can’t think people are attractive, on the other I experience all things in extremes so most people are really boring to look at to the point I never remember any details about their appearance (”like my hair cut?” “you.... you got a hair cut?”), or they’re very very noteworthy and I can no longer function in their presence (cause i wanna stare at them but thattts weird). 

But lemme tell ya, I compliment people regularly, so here’s 3 things I notice and point out about people: Cool Hair, Unique Aesthetic (fashion, be it a singular accessory or every goth/gnc i ever meet--), Height (tols impress). 

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Sushi probably.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Mushrooms. Neurhg,,,

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: the devils lettuce................ And idk K-D.rama? 

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Depends on the temperature. COLD: Leggings, pajama pants, sweater, beanie. HOT: shorts tanktop.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: uHGHUHGH,,, every relationship I’ve ever had was short and terrible. let’s go with fliiings! thats what I need in my life. a commitment free cuddle buddy. 

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: You know there’s a lot of shit in my past that can’t be stopped, but RECENT PAST? WHY DID I SPEND ALL MY SCHOLARSHIP MONEY LIKE I DID. I COULDA MADE HELLA SAVINGS!! I WAS GETTING 5K A SEMESTER!! AND I SPENT IT! ON! FOOD AND SHIT! i had a job at the same time, my parents were still working, I do not see why I was spending any of that semester money man I smh I oughta kick my past selves a ss.... 

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: I yearn to be. I’m incredibly repressed and insecure currently, and I’m not sure if that’s going to change when I’m less depressed or if I’m gonna have to rebuild that skill. But I used to be the kind of person to hold hands with my best friend, snuggle during sleepovers, give hugs and kisses, sit close and link arms, generally just be super cuddly-- It’s how I like to be, but I think at some point I just started to assume people didn’t like it so I stopped. SUCKs Butt. 

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: I watched mimzy over and over again as a kid, but nowadays, none, no, I can’t, I don’t have that aTTENTION SPAN--- 

12. FAVORITE BOOK: UHhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,, i have not read a book in a while, my old favorite book might not be as good as I remember. 

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Raccoon. 

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Lets go nonxs based on my recent media consumption--- Chel.lDOS (redemption tailoring), Zifeng/Yanuo, Kirk/Spock, HarleyQ/KickinAss, UhHhh, okay and ClayJack my ultimate Jack ship I will crave for infinity...

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake. Cheesecake specifically, but CAKE. Pie only has so many flavors I’ll actually eat. 

16. FAVORITE SCENT: OOHhh GoDdd... I’m doing aromatherapy right now (another strange fact), so there’s a lot of good scents in my life... I really like sweets? Like I have a cotton candy body mist, and I like my smores candles.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: UHhhh....... UHHHHHH????? That feeling when you are so far out of the cult of celebrity.... Like I know some, mostly ones from Marvel, but I wouldn’t call em crushes. Can I say Whoopi Goldberg in the Sister Act? She was really pretty in that movie (so was the red haired nun). And I really liked those movies as a kid. 

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: The easy one to say would be Japan.... but to visit some of my online friends would be even better! Honestly, I find just going grocery shopping with my friend to be an adventure, I am sure visiting any of my friends in their hometowns, be they cities or small towns, I would find every day exciting. I have deep puppy energies. 

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert. I get so tired, my friend has told me to take a nap mid-party before. But like, as you hear, I love parties. I super love socializing, but oof I do get drained. If I could sit with people, no-energy, no-obligation, free to chat or chill, that’d be the dream. And I have a lot of those with my best friend, except with the minor energy obligation of transportation and sometimes other people....

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Incredibly. I’m a huge baby, incredibly squeamish, easily startled, easily paranoid. I’m scared of the dark still, I don’t watch horror movies unless the monster is sexy. 

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: fuck em both, i still have iphone

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: I’m primarily a simulator/rpg/sandbox kind of gamer. Animal Crossing, Minecraft, WoW, Starbound, Sims 4... Yeah. I can’t even play Mario or Left 4 Dead very well but like I like them?? Game with meee, I don’t do that much, it would be fun tho,,,

23. DREAM JOB: If I’m god damn honest I hate the idea of a job deep down in my soul. Call it bein’ lazy but man I want my life to involve somethin more than making money to survive, that’s all I’ve ever done and I’d like to stop. But being able to help others, being a resource, brightening peoples day, being involved in something that enriches the world somehow. These kind of things make a good fit for work, and if it pays good, and I can build a routine around a solid schedule, then I guess I could live with whatever. 

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Do the math for how much I need to survive for the rest of my life, bare minimum style, then cushion that a little. Buy myself and my friends some nice things. Start giving money to strangers. Funnel it into important things that need to get paid for. Quit my job, travel, get extensive therapy, join fucking causes I wish I had the physical & mental resources for now, finally be able to put my passion into things again. Lmao money can’t buy happiness my a s s.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: hmmmmmmm........ hate it such a strong word. I just keep thinking of characters I LOVE to hate or like characters who are obviously hateable (intolerable villains). But I wanna pick one I genuinely dislike, deep down, for reasons. 

Lum.py from HTF,,, I just don’t like his design next to the rest. I mean I haven’t watched HTF in literal years but he came to mind.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: The Walking Dead / Game. Zombies just don’t really ??? click with me unless they have a gimmick now.

[whereverthemusetakesme]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

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TAGGED BY: Borrowed from @blackstardiopside​ TAGGING: Anyone, everyone!

1. FIRST NAME: Cheetah (I mean, not really. But I don’t give out my real name online)

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I have, like, a really good memory for movie scripts, if I watch them enough. I can recite The Lion King, among several others, pretty much word-for-word, just off the top of my head; and there are more where my mind has stored most but not quite all of it. It’s a kinda... cool but weird trait, and I wish I knew of some actual practical use for having such movies memorised.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, hair, and... I mean, I dunno. It’s not something I think about that much, I guess?

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Probably pizza, tbh. BBQ chicken and bacon, with extra cheese and cheese-stuffed crust, please and thank-you!

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Onions, honestly. I can eat them if they’re part of something, but I’d rather avoid them altogether.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Dressing in a shirt and tie when I don’t need to.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Pajama pants and dressing gown.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Um. I can think of a few things I’d love to change - mostly to do with how I acted in secondary school because I was super self-conscious and kind of tried to cover that by being a pain to people around me - but at the same time? I feel like if I’d done better socially at school, I’d never have been interested in an online community of friends, and so would never have met my amazing gf? And I wouldn’t change anything that would compromise knowing her.

There are several other dumb things that I’d very much like to have stopped myself from doing, too. But those are too personal to share.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Yep! I mean, not with strangers, obviously; but if I’m close enough to someone, then for sure.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. It’s just... such a beautiful movie? I don’t think I could ever get bored of it. There are probably a few others too, but that one in particular.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: Fiction... any of Aaron Allston’s St.ar Wars X-Wing novels, though Solo Command and Starfighters of Adumar in particular. Yoda: Dark Rendezvous by Sean Stewart. Robin Parish’s Dominion Trilogy. ...what do you mean I was only supposed to pick one?

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: A BABY CHEETAH!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Patch / Angel (101 Dalmatians 2 / Lady and the Tramp 2); Connie / Steven (Steven Universe; particularly when writing them with Corgi); Tidus / Yuna (Final Fantasy X); Hiccup / Astrid (How to Train Your Dragon 2)... um, I’m sure there’s a fifth one, but I can’t think of it right now. There are several others I like, but not that I’d rate as absolute favourites like these.

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Freshly-baked bread.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Nope.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Wherever my girlfriend wants to go. I’d honestly be happy anywhere as long as it was with her.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert. Very introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Kinda no? Kiiiiinda? I get... unnerved more easily than I get scared, I’d say.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: ...I’m that one weirdo with a Windows phone... xD;

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: A bit! I’ve mostly been playing little one-off games like Celeste and A Hat in Time recently, along with replaying several older titles from my childhood. And some of the Lego games, but I’m getting a bit bored of them these days.

23. DREAM JOB: Animator! ...I think? Definitely something around about the animation business, though I waver between YES I WANT TO BE A REAL ANIMATOR and OH MY GOODNESS THIS WOULD BE SO TEDIOUS TO DO AS A JOB? so I’m a little indecisive xD Maybe a Storyboard artist instead, I feel that plays to my strengths more.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Um. Pay off my student loan, for starters. Buy whatever my gf and I would need in order to pursue a future together, definitely. Maybe sign up to that one expensive postgraduate course I’m interested in. Then... I dunno, I’m not really comfortable spending loads on myself these days, so I’d rather that most of the rest of it go where it would actually help people instead?

(Though with whatever of it I do keep, I might live the dream and buy myself that Lego Millennium Falcon that I’ve had my eye on a version of since childhood...)

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: I was gonna say that, while there are several that I don’t care for, I don’t think I can say I actively hate any fictional characters; but my answer to the next question reminded me of something. I absolutely couldn’t stand Gamz.ee when I read HS, which I guess makes him pretty much the closest?

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: I suppose that’s Homes.tuck? I wouldn’t say I was ever really a part of the active fandom, but I did used to follow along with the comic and draw the characters a bit and stuff. And I’ve since just kinda... lost interest. I revisited a scene a bit ago, one that I’d used to find really funny, and it just... didn’t do anything for me now? I guess my tastes just moved on. (Though there are three characters from there that I’m still attached to anyway so... haha WHOOPS?)

[ptitdrogo]

In the mind of a “Top Tier” Protoss player

        Hey guys, PtitDrogo here, after reading a really amazing post tournament write up by one of my favorite Magic player ( https://twitter.com/lsv/status/1105124626429079552 , seriously, if you’re even slighty into magic go read this) I felt like it would be kind of cool to write down how the past month went for me in term of strategy preparation for the last few tournaments I played, mainly focusing on wesg and WCS ro8.

You win some you lose some

             To set the tone, before wesg I was of two minds about my play, I managed to qualify for the ro8 of WCS after beating Mana and Namshar, but I got seriously owned by Bly and Nerchio at IEM, not taking a single map and going home with 0 dollars.

            It’s still honestly a little bit confusing to me, the same confidence in my ability to play a defensive style against mana completely failed against bly, and my faith in my timings that worked great against namshar just got dismantled by nerchio. I could go on longer about this but sometimes you just don’t play well, and I’ve learned that dwelling on it is the worst thing you can do.

All eyes on Spaghetti boy

            Looking at the groups of WESG, a top 1 finish in my group would give me a good shot of having a “beatable” opponent in the bracket, and winning that match would mean winning 5k, so it was my objective coming into the event.

The man to beat being obviously reynor, who previously kind of walked on me in the last group stage of wcs, I had a couple of ideas in mind and also discovered some new cool stuff beforehand.

            I now knew that he actually really liked hydralisk midgame, and I actually really liked it, what was once the bane of my existense is now a pretty manageable opening in my opinion since the hydralisk got quite a bit weaker, you really don’t have to play scared and can even pressure yourself.

I was practicing some kind of 3 base high eco Chargelot archon pressure and having so-so success with it, I kind of wasn’t sure if I wanted to go for it, but without a better idea that’s what I was gonna go for.

“Wow, he actually does open hydralisk every game”.

            There’s a bit of a difference between telling yourself something and seeing it for yourself. After watching Probe vs Reynor It really hit my that reynor was playing hydralisks not only on big maps but on everymap, add to that a tendency to add some zerglings to deny the third, and 15 minutes before the start of my match I’m changing strategy without practicing it.

EDIT: Watching the vod of the Bo3, I actually was completely wrong, lol, I looked at the game at the only time he made some hydralisks, to secure a game already won by a roach nydus, and the other game was just a ling queen nydus, I guess I saw what I wanted to see !

“The Yoloswag build”

            It’s honestly such a terrible build, it’s not a particulary strong push, and it relies on your opponent not going roachs and REALLY thinking you’re going for a macro while also being a little bit of a bad player for not using your prism.

This is just an 8 gate that wants to cancel its third base in the first place to being able to afford 8 gateways production in the first place, the idea is you poke with 2 archon, run away from the queen, cancel your third because of the nasty zerglings, and while you pretend to being completely owned you warp more archons and zealot in a corner and you go kill the guy, a classic really, and I knew it would be very effective againt lings into hydras, sometimes last minute change of plans do work, color me surprised.

“Oh no you canceled my third dang it”

“Nothing going on over here”

“The 420 Blazing it DT drop”

            This one has kind of a funny backstory to it, I was practicing with a zerg for IEM, and he really wanted me to play DT drop because he thought his opponent would do it for sure.

“Alright, but I really think it’s shit” is what I said.

2 hours later and a LOT of wins later, I had to concede that it was pretty good, to quote my practice partner “your Dts being 7 seconds faster is actually a pretty big problem”.

            Sometimes you’re very wrong about what is good. Here’s the thing tho, I didn’t have time to check a vod to do the build, so I went by memory, old memories of 2017 in fact, and the way I remembered it you would have to cut a lot of workers and do a lot of little adjustements to get a very fast DT drop going even if it meant sacrificing some economy.

Turn out not a lot of protosses were doing it. The end result was 4 Dts being warped at 4:23, and most games they would just kill the third hatch. So I was feeling pretty confident it would work.

In my game against reynor I warped my Dts at 4:21.

They killed the third hatch.

            I was honestly so confused as to why or how I managed to have a better timing than in the game I was practicing against the ia, but hey I’m not complaining.

Later Reynor told me he didn’t know Dts could come this fast, and the 4:20 DT drop kind of became a meme among players for the rest of the tournament, I haven’t warped exactly 4 Dts at 4:20 yet, but hey maybe next wcs I’ll do it without meaning to !

So I ended up with a very pretty to look at 10-0 score, wasn’t easy of course, Iasonu and Probe were two players I was also scared of but I thought that playing standard was my best bet and indeed it was, also almost lost a game to PsiArc where I was very behind in economy but managed to attack right before his bunker finished, sometime lucky.

There is no way the Germans can cross the Maginot Line

            My opponent for the ro16 was Lambo, not a bad draw but not the best, I was confident I could win tho, and the new variation I was trying out in practice were going great, I had a great plan for the best of 5 and a build for every single maps.

All of that preparation came crashing down with a pretty swift 3-0 LOL.

            Game 1 was death by 12 pool, Cuz here’s the thing, to get a 4:20 DT drop, you can’t probe scout, little guy needs to work overtime ! I actually was mainly hoping he wouldn’t have the balls to 12 pool game 1 and I was going to scout after core anyway, whats the worse that could happen?  

            Game 2 was a very good game until it all came crashing down, I actually very like this double stalker opening poke, I was practicing against a zerg and made 2 stalkers by mistake on this map, and the overlord that usually always manage to run away died this time, and the very confusing double stalker oracle move out forced quite a lot of lings. So I decided to run with it in the tournament

When I was trying to explain it to the other protoss as a “great opening that looks very confusing to the zerg but doesn’t actually do anything” they were unconvinced; Haters; when it becomes the norm in 2020 don’t forget about me.

In the actual game the 2 stalkers squad worked great, I actually even killed an overlord at his base ahahah. I was in a VERY strong position in the midgame, and thought there was no way I could lose.

Well, nydus happened, no warpin available, no recall, an awkward attempt at a basetrade and a very long death animation trying to rebuild my templar tech to spend my gas bank later, It’s 2-0.

“Money in the bank pimping ain’t easy” 

            Game 3 was just a standart 2 base nydus that if I was a few second faster to recall my oracle or if I wasn’t supply blocked on 53/54 to then warp one more stalker I would have won, oh well, sometime it’s just not going your way.

“The correct play here is to go alt tab and go complain on Bnet forums” 

It was obviously very annoying to lose one step short of making 5k, but there was a silver lining to losing to hard and so quickly to cheese.

All of my preparation could still be used for WCS.

An FFA would pretty much have been the same right ?

            The big Round robin was here, and good god is it spooky. All of the players there are good and even if 6 players out 8 makes it it is very very scary.

My goal coming into the group was to barely make it, “maybe 2 wins is enough to squeeze in” is what I thought.

The first thing that is interesting to note is that I got pretty lucky in the order of my matchs, my 4 first matchs were all PvZ, then on day 2 I got the two PvP and the PvT.

That made practice fairly easy and nobody was able to prepare for me for day 2 as I didn’t have any of the same match-ups.

“You lose some…

            Against Serral, I had a pretty good first game to be honest, even tho I didn’t do flashy damage with the DT drop I still kept the pressure with the archons and was in what I thought a pretty good situation with the army I wanted.

Here’s the thing tho, Serral is annoying, like VERY annoying with his mutalisks, so before moving out for a strong attack I overmade defensive structures by quite a bit (3 canons in natural mineral line lololol) because I felt like I could afford it. So when I pushed, as you might expect it, broodlords were already out, and even if it might not be a well known fact in the community yet, Lategame PvZ is pretty unwinnable, at least against serral, gg.

            Game 2 was just an embarrassing game of me messing up my build order and losing my prism to 6 queens to then die to mutalisks and roachs. Not the most interesting of games and the kind of showing you really don’t wanna produce but it sadly happens too many times.

“Queens defend everything reeeeeee” 

            Against Reynor I’m actually blaming the first game loss directly onto serral. I actually very efficiently dealt with the mutalisks while teching to storm extremely fast (more on that later) and was in a very decent position. But I subconsciously felt like I needed to attack much faster than I actually had to because of the previous game (Check the Hive Drogo !! Scouting is allowed reeee) And just made the game extremely easy to play for reynor with a reckless attack.

            The second game was just a meme, another case of 12 pool, but this time even tho I scout it very late I pull all of my probes and take a very efficient fight against the zerglings, and at this exact moment I am in a very good position.

The correct play was to make a stargate in the wall and just move out with the adept and leave the zealot home.

I didn’t finish the wall and moved out with 2 units, Reynor did a runby with some more lings and I had to go home.

I then proceed to not finish the wall and moved out with 3 units, Reynor did a runby with some more lings and I had to go home.

I then proceed to move out with 2 adepts leaving 2 at home, Reynor did a runby with some more lings and I had to recall home

I then proceed to try to finish the wall but Reynor did a runby with a LOT of zerglings and I had to gg back to the lobby.

This is the kind of game where you just feel very stupid, I like to call these games failing an IQ test, because thats what they truly are.

… You win some”

            This is where I finally get the talk strategy, because there’s kind of of prerequisite to win games to be able to brag about how great of a strategical mastermind you are.

“The triple triple”

            After all the hype about the 420 DT drop, the first thing I obviously was looking for was a build that would look like a DT drop, but was actually a complete blind counter to the usual DT drop response from most zergs.

Thus came to life the triple triple, 3 gate, 3 oracles, warp twice (not 3 times rip symmetry ) and then you just go for it. The gas timing is very similar, only one adept and stalker are produced by the gateway, you have a proxy pylon from your main that can directly warp low ground so that the overlord at the natural cant see it, and the one adept boy can walk around to deny lonely lings from getting vision. All of that for an explosive cocktail that will kill a zerg making roachs expecting Dts, not having enough spores or queens to handle the triple triple squad.

Also, I’ve come to realize in practice that it’s not even that bad of a build in the first place even if scouted really early for some reason.

“Sometimes it kills 10+ workers” 

“Sometimes a lot more”

This amazing innovation of the PvZ metagame that I’m sure will be a staple in the metagame (it won’t) allowed me to take a map off Lambo and Elazer, for the other map I had to resort to the amazing build that comes next.

“This is totally an archon drop I swear you better make roachs”

            I really don’t know how to call this, You just go for the normal archon drop build except you mine more mineral and make an early forge, then take a third slightly faster than an archon drop timing and just make 4 templars super early so they can bank energy so you can do a +2 push with 8 storms extremely fast. While you’re doing the build you run around with your first few units to deny vision so the zerg gets scared and think he might have missed the prism.

Oh, and you also make a LOT of probes, I’m talking non stop, enough probes to fully saturate the third when its done.

“But Drogo, wouldn’t it be strictly better to just go storm drop? Zerg would actually see a prism and be scared and you would also do economic damage even if they make roachs !!”

And to that I say, I like to keep it simple ok, maybe next year when I actually get good at the game.

            Anyway, This build actually gives you a pretty powerful set-up in the midgame, I used it to kill the Hydra bane of Lambo and succesfully defend the nydus onslaught of Elazer (I didn’t strictly do this against elazer actually, I was pretty scared of a spooky all-in), which is usually not possible unless you were a greedy boy in the early game. So all of that gave me 2 points on the board.

“4 templars just chilling at home, Safe working conditions are too rare in the Starcraft universe” 

When the Zerg is away the Toss will play.

            For the second day I had 2 PvP, a PvT, and a lot of times on my end to prepare. So I did, I watched a ton of rail footage, and observed that he wasn’t afraid to play his ladder builds in tournament, so I was feeling fairly confident I could just win by having stronger build orders.

Little did I know this would be the hardest series of the tournament by far.

The first game felt like a walk in the park at first, you’re going 3 phoenix against fast expand forge first? There is no way in hell I am losing this. I played it a little bit safer than I could have but I was very confident in my ability to hold his 2 base push.

Turn out, I was wrong, very wrong, Rail just made a bigger army and kept warping in, and eventually our armies got to a size where his two untouched immortal he had over me actually packed quite the punch and our upgrades were equal. So even with a third nexus mining for a while, I’m losing the game.

            The second game I was sure of what he was going to do, some adepts with an expand and robo follow up, so my plan was pretty much to play with a lot of gates units and go Stargate to have good control of the game, simple plan, but effective.

The issue is, I forgot to prevent him from pylon blocking my wall, then I didn’t realise he let his pylon finish, I built my Stargate in vision of his pylon …

So yea I canceled that real fast and improvised a blink opening, a build I haven’t practiced in a really really long time, without any possibility of scouting, turned out I didn’t need to, since verdi went for his robo opening into constant presure with adepts sentry immortals, with me sitting and pure useless stalkers, down 1-0 and 30 supply, disruptor knocking at my front door, I didn’t like my odds one bit.

Oh well, sometime lucky.

I’m sure the third game will be much smoother.

Oh

Oh no (not pictured here, 3 sentries also died)

This has to be a record for the most amounts of units lost to the 2 initial adepts in a professional game

There’s almost something peaceful about being so far behind, you can just try out wacky stuff and see if it works.

Which is somehow did, after two pretty successful adept and a basetrade clearly going in my favor, I brought back an impossible game and was very happy with myself.

If you’re wondering how on earth I managed to get surprised by 2 adepts, all I can say is that I was way too confident in my preparation, as I was so sure that he was going for his safe expand double probe scout strat, I didn’t have adepts on my mind until the last 3 seconds.

Overall I would say that my preparation for this serie was very bad, even tho I spent the most time on it, even if you can tell yourself beforehand to not mindgame yourself by thinking too hard, it can still very much happen.

So after that emotional roller coaster of a series, it was time to play a PvT against big Gabe, and I had quite the revolutionary strat prepared.

“The triple triple… Again...”

            Sometime you watch one series that makes you fall in love with a strat, for me it was Zest vs Innovation where Zest defended a marine drop with 2 oracle and a phoenix, warped more adepts across the map and immediately killed Innovation, I thought to myself “I can do that” as it didn’t look too hard.

I hate Stargate openings in PvT, I truly hate them, I’m always in a good position with them but I always lose anyway, but on the other hand, I’ve loved shading adepts and oracle at random times since LOTV beta, so I thought it was worth to give it a shot, especially because I thought Gabe wouldn’t expect me to play stargate.

Worked just as planned, a refreshing turn of events after the last series.

            The second game (what game on kairos ? never happened Protoss doesn’t lose PvT remember) is what I like to call “New Year Zero, the movie”. I really think this map is incredibly protoss favored, it’s really not on everymap that starting 2 forges because you’re supply blocked and can’t start your first colossus ends up being a the best decision you could have made.

After killing the Raven and a decent chunk of bio in the middle of the map, I thought I had a real timing there, I had 5 seconds of hesitation after seeing so many liberators, but after sending an hallucination and seeing that Heromarine was Still 1/1, I decided to A move into him anyway, it was either gonna be a genius, killer instinct like move, or another brick to the monument that is the ThrowGo Legacy, a win win really.

“Sir, this is Hallucinated phoenix speaking, Terran is 1:1 you’re clear to go”

“Roger that” 

It went great and the twitch chat of that game had a very reasonable discussion about game design talking about how great it was that protoss could attack into this many liberators.

            I don’t have much to say about the last Serie vs Showtime really, I was already qualified so all the presure was off and I felt great, and I don’t think I could talk at length about great of a strategical mastermind I am for faking going phoenix and actually going Dark templars !

He didn’t exactly do what I expected to him to do so this was pretty much freestyle that worked in my favor and not anything prepared. 

“Artosis favorite unit showing us what peak starcraft is all about”

The second game was a cheese that I had seen before, Double proxy gate zealot with canon rush, I was fairly confident that it was overall pretty bad, and this game didn’t change my mind.

“The best unit against canons is actually the probe”

Amazing Gaming

            So overall it’s a 5-2 Score !! This wasn’t what I expected at all and I was obviously thrilled, too bad I failed so many IQ tests otherwise the first place would have been easily in my grasp.

I have a lot of cool new strats with weird names prepared for LA, I hope I’ll win so I get to brag once again about how smart I am ! (not really).

Hope you guys enjoyed this blog, and I would like to dedicate this victory to this chinese Stuff bear, he kept his promise and without him I would never have survived those nyduses.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvPWIAvhKSl/

For more Yee https://twitter.com/PtitDrogo 

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well): 

[waitingfortherightpartner]

Secret Santa

A/N: AGH so obviously haven’t been writing cuz I’ve been hella busy and then I freaked out because it’s almost Christmas and this is literally my favorite holiday, so I wrote a ton on the plane...Based this on a prompt from this list.  Hopefully will manage to write a few more before the day rolls around.

Tagging: @pleasecallmecaptain​ @mattymattymerduck​ @writingbarnes​ @kissofvenom922​ @b-orderline​ @shamvictoria11​ @callingmrsbarnes​ @barnes-and-noble-girl​ @coley0823​ @redstarstan​ @badassbaker​ @phoebe-21-blog​ @marvelgoateecollection​ @palaiasaurus64​ @melconnor2007​

-

“So who’d you get for Secret Santa?”

“No one,” Bucky replies, gripping the book in his hands a little tighter as he shifts his body away.

“Is it me?” Sam asks, sitting down right next to Bucky, ignoring the super soldier’s obvious annoyance.

“No,” Bucky says.

“Steve?”

“Go away, Wilson.”

“Oh.  Is it…”  Sam lets his voice trail off suggestively and Bucky tries to ignore the panic.

“Is it who?” he says, trying to keep his voice nonchalant.

“For someone who used to be a spy, you suck at lying,” Sam chuckles.

“Wasn’t a spy,” Bucky retorts.  “Just an assassin.  I killed people.  No lying required.”

“I think that’s supposed to be a threat,” Sam grins.  “So what are you going to get her?”

“Who?” Bucky asks, although he can feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck.

“A pillow with your face on it that says ‘I Love You?’” Sam teases.  “A hundred red roses?”  

“All terrible ideas,” Bucky grumbles.  “I already ordered it.”  Sam’s eyes widen with delight.

“Ordered it?” Sam asks.  “And what is it, exactly?”

“You can find out when she finds out,” Bucky retorts.  

“Are you guys discussing Secret Santa?” you grin as you stroll into the living room.  Bucky’s lips twist up into a smile, but he keeps his gaze on the words in his book.  “Who’d you get, Sam?”

“Robocop over here,” he answers and you bite back a laugh.

“Perfect,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes.

“Sam, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone who you got,” you scold lightly, sitting next to Bucky on the couch.  You tap his arms lightly and he lifts them up so you can slide your legs across his lap.  “Specifically not the person who you got.  Watch.  Bucky, who did you get for Secret Santa?”

“What’s Secret Santa?” he deadpans.

“See?” you say, gesturing exaggeratedly to Bucky.  “Perfect.”  Sam raises an eyebrow and you narrow your eyes, giving him a death glare.  

“Sorry I can’t compare to McDreamy McPerfectpants,” Sam teases and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, your words, not mine,” you say.  “Now get out of here, we’re gonna watch Game of Thrones and you’re not caught up to us.”

“Don’t you dare spoil anything for me,” Sam says.  “I swear, if something happens to my girl Dany…”

“If you keep annoying me…” you trail off threateningly and Sam bolts out of the room.

“Wow, if I had known it was that easy to get rid of Sam, I would’ve done that ages ago,” Bucky says and you grin.

“People like to be surprised,” you shrug.  “You ready, McDreamy McPerfectpants?”

-

“All right, everyone,” Tony says.  “Secret Santa gifts under the tree.”

“Oh shit, was that today?” Clint says.  Nat punches Clint in the arm.

“Yes, Clint,” you reply drily.  “The Secret Santa exchange was today, during our Christmas party.  Obviously.”

“Right,” Clint asks.  “How much were we supposed to spend?”

“Up to $50,” Steve replies and Clint grumbles something to himself about being broke.  He dashes out of the room, returning with a small envelope that he sheepishly shoves among the others.

“Perfect,” Tony says, throwing a Santa hat on his hat and sifting through the pile.  “This one’s for you, Steve.”  Slowly but surely, Tony redistributes all of the presents to their rightful owners.  

“So how does this work?” Thor asks.

“Easy,” Tony says.  “Everyone opens it and then you have three guesses to try to figure out who gave it.”

“Interesting,” Thor says.  “Your Midgardian traditions are endlessly fascinating.”

“Noted,” Tony replies.  “All at the same time, on three.  One, two…”

Thor rips the paper off of a huge, human-sized teddy bear in one swift motion.  Tony looks at him witheringly and the Asgardian obliges with an apologetic look.

“Let’s rock and roll, people,” Tony sighs and the room comes alive with the sounds of wrapping paper ripping, the shuffling of tissue paper, and a combination of gasps and chuckles in reactions to the gifts.  

Steve pours over the art set you got him, examining the pencils and ink pens with a quiet joy that makes you smile.  You glance over to Bucky, who dumps out a box of $50 worth of magnets, as Sam dissolves into giggles on the ground.  

“What did you get, (Y/N)?” Wanda asks from beside you.

“Oh, whoops,” you laugh, reaching for the oddly heavy box in front of you.  “I wanted to see what everyone else got first.”  When you go to open your gift, the room falls silent and you realize all of the Avengers are watching you.  You carefully slip your finger under the tape, sliding it across to release the paper.

“Are you saving the paper?” Tony asks impatiently.  You roll your eyes at him and rip through a piece of the paper.

“You happy?” you retort.  “So impatie…”

You words trail off as you see the writing on the box and your eyes widen.

“It’s not,” you murmur to yourself, and suddenly you can’t unwrap it soon enough.  You open the box and pull out a brand new camera, the expensive one you’d been looking at for months online.  A collective murmur goes through the room.

“Well, someone clearly didn’t listen to that $50 limit,” Clint says.  You scan the room, trying to figure out who would buy you a multi-thousand dollar camera, but your mind draws a blank.

“Okay, the guessing,” Tony says.  “(Y/N), since you were the last to unwrap your present, why don’t you go first?”

“I have no idea,” you say.  

“Funny, I don’t think there’s anyone named that here today,” Tony says and you groan.

“Fine,” you say.  “Is it you?”

“Me?” Tony asks.  “Love you, darling, but I play by the rules.  At least for Secret Santa.”

“Shocker,” you tease.  “Um…Thor?”

“I did not purchase this item for you,” the god booms and you nod.

“I just though maybe you didn’t understand dollars,” you explain.

“I understand that this is many dollars,” Thor says and you nod.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” you say.  “Um…last guess.  Okay.  Steve?”

“Not me,” Steve says and you nod, retreating back into your thoughts as the guessing continues.  Although some people are able to get their gift-giver right, there’s several unaccounted for, leaving you to wonder.  As people start to trickle out, you head to the one person who knows exactly who got everyone what.

“Nat,” you say quietly, sitting down next to her on the couch.  “Who was it?”

“Sweetie, it’s so obvious,” Nat replies, shooting you a withering look.  “Don’t even have to be a Russian spy to figure it out.”

“But seeing as you are one, help me out on this one,” you ask and Nat sighs. “At least let me talk through it out loud?”

“If you must,” Nat says and you start.

“Okay, so it’s someone who went above the price limit,” you say.  “Like, way above the price limit.  So they have plenty of disposable money.”

“No, no, you’re reading it wrong,” Nat says.  “It’s not that they necessarily have cash to throw away.  It’s that they care so much about you that they’d want to get you something they know you’ve wanted for months, even if it’s crazy expensive and definitely not right for a Secret Santa gift.”

“Is it you?” you ask and Nat snorts.

“I love you, (Y/N), but I don’t love you that much,” Nat replies.  “Think.”

“I am thinking,” you whine.  “Can’t you just tell me?”

“It’s Barnes,” Clint blurts out from the other side of Nat.  You both whirl on him, you in shock and Nat in anger.  “What?  She was taking too long.”

“Bucky?” you ask in disbelief.  “Bucky got me the camera?”

“Obviously,” Nat says.  “Clint, we’re gonna have a talk later about you butting into my conversations.”

“Why would he do that?” you stammer.  “That’s…it’s…I should go talk to Bucky.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what you’re still doing here,” Nat says, and you hurry out of the room and to Bucky’s room, knocking before you even come up with a plan.

Bucky opens the door and his eyes immediately soften when he sees you.  

“Hey friend I was going to take a walk outside to test out my new camera,” you say.  “Do you want to come with?”

“I’d love to,” he says, immediately stepping out of the room.  You look at him and laugh.

“What, no jacket?” you grin.  “No shoes?  It’s kind of snowing.”

“Right,” Bucky says.  “Meet you outside?”

-

You’re standing outside, looking around and smiling like a dork.  You keep bringing the camera up to your eye, but you refuse to snap a picture.  You’re waiting.

“Got anything good yet?” you turn around to see Bucky walking towards you,  The lighting is perfect and you raise your camera quickly to capture the image.

“Now I have,” you grin, glancing at the screen.  You turn it around to show Bucky and his smile widens, the creases next to his eyes becoming even more pronounced.

“What else have you taken?” he asks.

“That’s it,” you say.  “I thought that the first picture I took should be of the person who got me the camera.”  Bucky’s eyes widen.

“Oh,” Bucky says.  “You found out.”

“I did,” you respond.  “Bucky, this is an incredible gift, but you shouldn’t-”

“Of course I should have,” he responds.  “You’re basically the glue of the Avengers, honestly, you love planning things for us to do and taking photos on your phone and you call yourself the mom friend, whatever that means, so I figured…I mean, you’ve been eyeing it for months.”

“And saving up,” you say.  “It’s a lot of money.”  He shrugs, eyes glued to the ground.  You shake your head and grab his scarf, pulling his face down so that you can plant a quick kiss on his cheek.  “Thank you.”

Bucky smiles and lightning quick, you grab your camera and snap a few more pictures.

“What are you doing?” Bucky laughs.  “Take a picture of something nice.”

“I am, McDreamy McPerfectpants,” you tease, looking through the photos yourself.  As you look at them, you feel your heart leap into your throat as you recognize something in Bucky’s eyes as he looks into the camera.  As he looks at you.  Bucky comes up behind you and you can feel his breath on the back of your neck.

“What’re you looking at?” he asks quietly, and you turn so that you’re facing him, your faces inches apart.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask softly.  Bucky’s eyes widen and for a split-second, you panic and think you’ve read everything wrong, but then he nods gently, almost imperceptibly.

You lean forwards and catch Bucky’s lips with your own, his lips impossibly warm against your own.  You can feel his lips turn up into a smile and you can’t help but smile yourself.  

“As much as I would love to keep doing this,” you whisper against his lips.  “I do want to take some more photos.”

“Anything you want,” he replies, threading his fingers through your own.  “As long as I’m with you.”

[raganandhersurveys]

5/21/21~5000 question survey 201-300 {CXVII}

This has been in the drafts for far too long lol

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice: caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin 

~female human, dolphin, male human, house dog, manta ray, wild dog, caterpillar, oak tree, vulture, rock

 202. What do you feel unworthy of? 

~sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve the love that people give me. but i definitely don’t dwell on that thought 

 203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person? 

~doing something for humanity; that effects more people 

 204. Which do you value more: science or intuition? 

~honestly depends on what it is haha. i lead with my heart more than my brain sometimes 

 205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first? 

~...... i hate questions where i have to choose one person over another, i can’t choose 

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?

~lol nope we exist in it just like everything else. we took it upon ourselves to feel as though we are superior 

207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were?

~no, that thought has never even crossed my mind

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?

~i rlly don’t know that many poets 

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's? 

~my heart will go on~ celine dion; stereotypical ik but like i love that song

 210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be? 

~the r ofc:)

 211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?

~i definitely believe in angels. as far as aliens and ghosts are concerned, i for the mots part believe in them but i am a little skeptical and someone can be a dwarfed person so i believe in that too, but the elves and fairies are a no go. 

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend? 

~if we have similar interests, if they’re funny, kind, if they’re open minded and deep, and like to eat food a lot because i sure do

 213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun? 

~bahaha i have a life lol 

 214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?

~nope

 215. What is your favorite line from a movie? 

~”ughhh! as if”

216. What's your favorite video game? 

~i don’t rlly play video games lol

 217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours? 

~yeahhhhhh

 218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?

~”we love that”

 219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it?

~lol never

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?

~depends on my mood. if i have something to do i’d obviously choose the shower lol

221. Are you allergic to anything? 

~nope

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?

~i don’t rlly like any of them

 223. What is your favorite fast food?

~chick-fil-a!!!!

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?

~cheat on me or hurt someone i love

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed? 

~i have never and will never whip or be whipped in bed hahaha

 226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally? 

~lol no

 227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?

~greedyyyyyyy oooh. money is also an addiction i feel like; for some people they will never have enough 

 228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?

~:((((( no

229. Did it live more than a week? 

~^

 230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have? 

~i love a spanish accent or italian/bostson accents too 

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read? 

~some book for school probably 

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens? 

~ig touch screens

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series? 

~there rlly is but they’re worded differently because they were written in such different times. i enjoyed both but i love lotr. 

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?

~in some regards, yes 

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?

~andrew 

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?

~honestly if it was a $20 dollar bill

 237. Would you ever wear real fur?

~no

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?

~huh?

239. What are your feelings about police officers? 

~not all of them are bad. Yes there are corrupt ones but can’t any career have corrupt employers? I would feel safer having them than not so I do not support the whole ACAB movement

 240. What is your favorite line from a song? 

~i have no idea lmao like my mind went totally blank

 241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?

~to me yeah haha

242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)? 

~i’ve never heard of them

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction? 

~self-satisfaction

244. What's your middle name? 

~alexandria

 245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

~probs pee in a public place 

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?

~i’d say neutral lmao

 247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language?~sure lol 

248. What color is your bedroom? 

~sage green

What color would you like it to be? 

~i want my next room to have just white walls 

249. When are you planning to move to a new home? 

~well i move into my college suite in august 

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be?

~well i’m not in my room right now so i have no idea

251. Do you blow your nose in public?

~i try to avoid it but you gotta do what you gotta do

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?

~in some ways yes, but in other ways absolutely not

 253. What is the coolest web site you know of? 

~any online shopping place haha

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie? 

~most of them have already been turned into movies and they aren’t that great

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful 

~i’d say fair minded overall

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?

~no but i wish i could haha

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

~most likely no

258. What do you think about school uniforms?

~i’m so glad i went to a public school and didn’t have to wear one. i love clothes and creating outfits so i’d hate to have to wear the same thing like every day

 259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

~either egypt or greece

 260. What would make a great new Crayola color?

~do they have a sage green color?

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? 

~not necessarily. I feel like it’s hard to do anything artistic like that without a purpose or meaning

 262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration? 

~ariana grande or sza 

 263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? 

~me lol 

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 

~i feel like it went to borrowing and to funding the military

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? 

~i feel like as a child it was easier 

 266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?

~depends on the topic tbh 

 267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? 

~electric guitar or piano

 268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change? 

~that is not a question for me lol

 269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? 

~mmmmmm yeah tbh LMAO

270. Are you completely in control of your body? 

~i guess lol

 271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway? 

~i’d love either. sometimes money is the thought for someone but hand picked is so special to 

 272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

~in some instances, yes. but then sometimes i’ll feel a random emotion at times. there are times where i’ll just feel really sad and I don’t know why lol 

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself? 

~both but the songs and books do it so beautifully 

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product? 

~usually not lol

 275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?

~i’m always down for a good horror movie 

 276. Does fashion matter to you? 

~yesss! that’s the field i want to enter 

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else? 

~of course, if not more so 

 278. What do you get in trouble for the most? 

~my mom always says i do things last minute 

279. Should parents spank their kids? 

~you do what you wanna do as a parent

 280. What is your worst daily habit? 

~eating unhealthy foods lol

 281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?

~pretty little liars because it’s literally knock off gossip girl

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?

~definitely salt 

 283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts? 

~not always lol 

284. What do you feel the most guilty about? 

~sometimes i feel like i let people down because some of my decisions still depend on other people (ex: if my mom says no to something that someone asked me to do)

 285. Do you meditate?

~no

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?

~i think they can be visions but i feel that most of the time they are random images

 287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

~why are so many of these questions about this lmao um it depends if i have a grasp on my emotions in that moment 

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with? 

~is jealous?

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?

~one night a year or so ago me and some friends just hung out but it felt like a movie. we were jamming to music with the windows down and just going crazy; what a time to be alive 

 290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

~for sure however i have learned that that is very unhealthy so i usually tend to speak my mind 

 291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

~^

292. What is one thing you can't do?

~ride a bike 

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)? 

~i’ve never seen any of his movies 

 294. Are you gentle? 

~i try to be 

 295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable? 

~when i’m alone and not talking to anyone 

296. Are you trying to find yourself?

~aren’t we all?

297. Where are you looking?

~in my passions and just getting to understand myself in general 

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?

~yep

299. What would make you a stronger person? 

~not lettings things that people say get to me and not caring so much of what others think of me 

 300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

~there isn’t one in particular but i would like to start reading stephen king 

[lovemesomesurveys]

1.How many pets do you own? One: my 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia.  2. What’s your least favorite season? I despise summer. 3. Do you prefer to text or call? Text. Don’t do much of that either, but definitely prefer that over talking on the phone. 4. Morning or night? Night. 5. Do you like tacos? I’m not as into them anymore. Ever since I haven’t been able to eat spicy food (which has been for the past few years), tacos just don’t really do it for me now. Adding hot sauce or salsa was the best part for me. 

6. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I’m an hardcore introvert. 7. What’s your favorite desert? I’m not fond of deserts. 8. Do you enjoy walks? No. 9. Are you a frequent user of Facebook? I check like 2-3 times a day, but I don’t spend much time on it. I just scroll through the feed for a few minutes and “like” some stuff. Maybe share a funny/relatable/interesting post now and then. 10. Do you watch animated shows still? I still watch Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and Doug. 11. Can you roll your tongue? Nope. 12. What’s your “lucky” number? I don’t have one, but my favorite number is 8. 13. Are you scared of anything? A lot of things. 14. Big mac or big whopper? Big Mac. 15. Do you like to play board games? Yeah! I just never have anyone to play with :( <<< Aww, same. 16. Are you fond of romantic novels? I like to read books with a mix of romance and drama or mystery. 17. Fruitloops or cocopops? Froot Loops. 18. Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? I’d sure love a million dollars, but asklfjkslfjlsjf I don’t think I could do it! I know I couldn’t.  19. Are you a heavy drinker? I don’t drink. 20. Would you forgive someone for cheating? I don’t know. I wouldn’t know unless I was in the situation, which I hope to never be. 21. Are you superstitious? I do the whole “knock on wood” thing, but I think it’s just out of habit now ha. 22. Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? Once. It’s uh....interesting. 23. Do you like to read? I love to read. 24. Are you easily distressed? Yes. 25. Do you believe in aliens? No. 26. If you were the last person alive besides one other person you get to chose, who would it be? I don’t like that. :( 27. Dogs or cats? Dogs. 28. Are you a grumpy person? Yeah. I get very moody and irritable. 29. What’s something you hate? Abuse. 30. Are you a worry wart? Yeppp. 31. Do you like having your picture taken? No. 32. Do you like cotton candy? Yeah. Wow, I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though. 33. Would you ever use a dating site? Nah, not my thing. 34. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. 35. Rap or pop? I like both. 36. What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried? I tried asparagus flavored ice cream once, which was *BARF*. I don’t like asparagus, so no big surprise there. I was convinced to try it, though. I don’t know why the hell asparagus ice cream is even a thing. I’ve also tried bean ice cream, which was also very disgusting. 37. Do you like math? Nooooo. 38. Are you the type of person to laugh at others misfortune? Wow, absolutely not. There’s nothing amusing about other people’s hardships. 39. Love or lust? Love. 40. Do you remember lyrics easily? Yeah. 41. What was/is your favorite school subject? English. And obviously psychology once I got to college, which is what I majored in. 42: Do you like tattoos? I don’t mind them. I’m not a big fan of a lot of tattoos, though. 43. Are you the type of person to lie? I’m not a compulsive liar, but I do lie sometimes. It’s usually to downplay something or avoid something. 44. Do you eat porridge for breakfast? I do love a good bowl of oatmeal. I haven’t had any in a long time, though. 45. What music are you listening to right now? I’m not. I’m listening to an ASMR video. 46. Are you allergic to anything? Tangerines. 47. Do you like Lady Gaga? I like a few of her songs. 48. What about Nick Minaj? I like some of her songs and features, too. 49. Do you like rainy days? I love them. 50. Last question, do you like pie? Nope.

[smokingtomas]

Hi, hi! Can I request SoRina for the ship meme? (The one from which you have recently published TakuMegu) ❤️ thaaaaanks~~

Heyheey thank you for the ask! Anything for this pairing~ (Yeah right, just look at the prompt requests lining up in my inbox). And let’s make this an entry for day 2 of @shokugekiweek: Favorite pairing

1. Acts like they’re dying when they have a cold. I think both of them would try to tough it out, but it’s only a matter of time when they would just collapse to the floor and secretly seeks some attention.

2. Gets mad at the TV and throws the remote. I think Soma went a little overboard when his favorite Masterchef contestant got eliminated xD Erina gave him the side eye like, “That guy got eliminated for a good reason; his food looks disgusting. Calm your horses.”

3. Gets the worst road rage. Erina is such an impatient driver. Maybe the only one time her potty-mouth side comes out. Bikers are her biggest pet peeve aaand that’s why Soma’s the one who’s always driving.

4. Spends too much time in the bathroom on their phone. Soma and his endless scrolling on Buzzfeed Tasty page… or his addiction towards Clash of Clans. The only way he’ll stop is when he hears Erina’s irritated knocks.

5. Packs the whole closet for an overnight trip. Erina packs more than Beyonce does tbh

6. Hates the in-laws. Soma is not fond of Azami. Not a single bit obviously. I mean we can’t blame him why.

7. Hits the snooze button…11 times. YUKIHIRA SOMA. Again, Erina’s role in smacking his head with a pillow is quite important to get his ass up and actually start the day.

8. Makes the other late for work. Soma with his tendency to held a surprise breakfast shokugeki… or something else *wink wink*

9. Uses the television as a babysitter. Soma will shamelessly do so if he needs more time to sleep. Erina, who’s nearly giving up on telling him that it’s not the way to go, will just shake her hopeless head.

10. Takes in the stray dog. Soma would, but Erina would not let it into the house if Soma hasn’t bathe it, took it to the vet to get it checked up and vaccinated, or bought some actual dog food with him so he doesn’t feed it with their leftover meatloaf.

11. Suggests a 3am trip to McDonald’s. Headcanon when Erina was pregnant, she had a constant craving of McDonald’s cheeseburger, and Soma would laugh at her because he doesn’t even like it (but still taking her anyway).

12. Leaves their shoes out for the other to trip over. If Erina catches Soma putting his shoes haphazardly, she would purposely put them in Soma’s track so he’d trip over and she’ll go “That’s why shoe racks are invented, blockhead!”

13. Can’t make up their mind when it comes to dinner. Both would argue most often about this. Soma wants something, Erina wants another thing. It gets endless and they both ended up cooking a huge feast.

14. Needs to be reminded of all their appointments. Erina has an assistant…. Which Soma uses for his own benefit as well. How shameless.

15. Bribes the other into doing chores, getting out of the house…and taking a shower. None. Soma loves doing chores and Erina loves taking a long shower while he’s doing so.

16. Picks the movies. They would take turns and they are both pretty demanding of their turn. “You picked the movie last time, Yukihira! Now we’re watching Love, Rosie!” and he’d be like, “

17. Takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort. Nakiri ‘Protective’ Erina. The girl would download a 46 pages PDF of a safety step and read it… while Soma ignores her and continue on building the pillow fort.

18. Kisses the other’s injuries better. Soma could be a cutie when Erina accidentally cuts her finger in the kitchen.

19. Is addicted to angry birds, game of war, candy crush, temple run, or flappy bird. Soma is an avid mobile gamer, and no one in their circle can beat his high score.

20. Kills the spiders. Soma sees spiders like they’re nothing. While Erina basically screams at the top or her lungs, Soma would just, “Geez, relax Nakiri. They won’t kill ya.”

21. Hogs the blankets. Erina! And Soma would let her.

22. Takes pranks too far. One time Soma placed a half-dressed mannequin near their door to scare Erina. No, she was not happy.

23. Makes the dirty jokes. Soma has quite a collection of dirty jokes lol

24. Keeps a piggy bank.  Not a piggy bank perse, more like, as what Soma called it, a mean jar. Erina needs to put a dollar every time Soma catches her telling people off or just plainly being rude. Soma would be like, “Uh oh, that’s a meanie right there.” and she’d be like, “W-WHAT?! That’s not mean! It’s just clearly stupid!.” of course he’d reply with, “See, you’re being mean again.”

25. Has no problem having ice cream for breakfast. Soma, but Erina doesn’t say anything bcs she knew he’d run to the bathroom before his bowl is even clean.

26. Gets a tattoo when they’re drunk. They lock their door if they want to drink in order to prevent doing reckless things. Erina’s idea, ofc.

27. Trips over their own feet. None

28. Makes the other go for a walk. Soma loves to take Erina for a stroll down the park because he loves how her face lits up whenever she sees the twinkling lights.

29. Whines until they get what they want. Soma can be quite a baby when he wants something from Erina usually some ‘love’, but she doesn’t always reject him.

30. Tries to act tough but really isn’t. This is definitely Soma. He would come home looking with smiles and looking supposedly ordinary, but the only person he can’t hide it from is Erina, who is quite expressive when it comes to her negative emotions. Erina would try to give him some tough love, which often works, and some chocolate based dessert like mousse.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 032121

21 March, 2021

Dear Dad--

Happy Sunday to you. I got the casino job! Well, I provisionally got the casino job! They’ve decided they’d like to “move forward,” and are now going to crawl up my butt with a microscope and make sure that I’m not someone with a shady past or nefarious intentions. I had to fill out a very long application to be a licensed gaming employee in the state, and I had to answer a question about whether I am a fugitive from justice! I will be fingerprinted at some point. I had to give a list of identifying scars and tattoos. I had to consult the internet to find my eye color because I don’t know what damn color my eyes are. (The internet indicated that my eyes are either blue, blue-gray, green, gray-green, blue-green, hazel, or gray, which I think is just about all of them.) I take it for granted that I may be working in the casino, or taking a break and sitting somewhere eating a sandwich, and someone might push a cart past me with a million dollars on it. Whenever that’s the case, I assume my employers will have real firm opinions about how money is handled, and security, and making sure the employees aren’t wanted felons, etc.

So I did okay on the phone interview, except for the question about Microsoft Excel, which is the industry standard for making spreadsheets. So I brushed up on Excel, to make sure I’d be able to answer the question if it came up again. He brought it up again, and I was able to answer the question correctly this time. This established that I am both conscientious and resourceful, dammit. They pointed out a few nice things about working there. Firstly, they have food events, where I can come and eat. Second, they have an enormous parking garage. This is mostly to benefit the customers, but it also means you won’t end a long day of work and have to remove a foot of snow from your car before you can go home. They also said that, if I was done working and it was snowing so hard that it wasn’t safe to go home, they could give me a room in the hotel for the night.

As I may have mentioned, this job is all about doing audits and other daily tasks to, I guess, make sure all the dollars are present and correct and law-abiding. I’m a compliance person! Assuming I sail through all the background stuff, I’ll help make sure the casino is in compliance with federal this and local that and state this and corporate that. They’ll train me. I predict several possible outcomes.

1. Within my first week, I have a heart attack while at work, causing me to fart loudly and repeatedly. It becomes known as Rick’s Fart Attack, and after recovering, I can never look anyone in the eye again, and I have to leave the company in shame. Also I’ll be unable to understand or remember anything they try to teach me. And they find out that I tried acid back in 1990.

2. I do okay, everyone is satisfied, I work there till I’m 70 and retire. No Nobel Prize for Compliance, but no fart attacks.

3. I do exceptionally well. I learn the stuff as quickly as they expect me to. I am able to achieve the accuracy they seek. They appreciate my pragmatism and my bourgeois sweaters. I become a valuable asset to them; they seem to like me. Next time my birthday comes around, at the cake cutting, no fewer than six people slip me folded pieces of paper saying they appreciate my work style, and my George Clooney salt and pepper hair, and would I like to visit the casino bar for a pre-coital alcoholic beverage, and then get a good hard auditing from Rick, the new compliance guy, just in case I’m interested.

I really don’t know what outcome I’m going to achieve here. Obviously, the work isn’t going to be too action-packed. It’s auditing, and I’m told to expect repetition. (That’s good; I take comfort in shit like that.) I just hope I don’t screw up anything I can’t fix, and they’re good at training, and that, in the end, I’ll have a workplace I don’t dread going to. I’ll like my coworkers, maybe make a new friend or two. I’ll make enough money that I can pay rent and not have to eat cat food.

I wonder how long it’s going to take them to figure out that I have no aptitude for either drinking or gambling, I make sports bets about as often as I fly in the space shuttle, and I have no idea at all how craps works. The last time I went into a casino, I got $20 in quarters from a cashier before I learned that none of the slot machines take quarters any more. They took money straight off your debit card! Then you carried a balance, and when you wanted to leave one slot machine, it would print a little ticket that you could feed into the next slot machine that kept track of your balance. I had to take all my quarters back to the cashier and explain that I was an idiot, and could you take all these stupid quarters back, pretty please? That was in the Snoqualmie Casino in Washington State. (Their motto: We don’t know how to pronounce your name, either, tough guy) I didn’t win shit, but Zach won about a hundred bucks.

I filled out all my paperwork, including the 30-page gaming application, and some similar online forms. I need to go back in to get my photo taken and to get fingerprinted, but they are going to wait until the background check is done, so I’m just in a holding pattern now. Making sure I can dress in business casual for five days in a row without repeating pants (I cannot! Must attempt to increase my rate of, you know, pants. Fortunately, Zach and I have the same waist size and he’s given me a couple of pairs of work slacks he no longer needs.) Also I keep waiting to throw up. I always experience my tension in my stomach. It seems to happen every time I’m nervous about something, so...any time, sweetheart. Perhaps my body is waiting for the morning of Day 1. I shall remain vigilant.

I have to say, I felt comfortable in the casino offices where I had my interviews and started the HR shit. Since it’s called the Hollywood Casino, the theme is movies, so all the walls have framed movie posters in them. I saw a poster for The Manchurian Candidate. The guy who interviewed me was named Rick, and was a doughy, bespectacled honky like myself. When I got the job at Penquis, and I went in for training, I was in a room with a dozen women and no other men. I’m fine with that in theory, but in practice, it leaves me feeling a bit like a stranger in a strange land. Everyone at the casino looked like me, in a way I found reassuring, whether younger, or older, or female. I just felt a bit more at home there. Hope that feeling lasts. Also this pays better than the Penquis job did.

Not sure what I’m going to do today. Because I’m about to start a new job, it should make my remaining hours at home more special, which usually results in me cleaning something that doesn’t get cleaned as often as it should, like the bathtub. Also, we keep getting overflown by bald eagles, and I’m determined to get a picture of one. This is going to end up being a lot more difficult than it was to photograph a hummingbird, even though the eagle is so much bigger and slower. Hummingbirds like to come to my hummingbird feeder and light for a few seconds, during which you can snap a few easy photographs. We’ve seen a dozen bald eagles, but they’re always flying past, on their way somewhere. Sometimes they’re being harassed by groups of other birds. I need an eagle to stop by for a visit and sit someplace, photogenically, for a minute before it leaves, so I can get a few pictures. Otherwise it’s just going to be a picture of a sky with a little black smudge in it. I’m leaving the camera by the living room window.

I think that having this new job, assuming I pass everything, is going to take a lot of my stress away. As is usual, a lot of my stress stems from the fact that I was never very good at making and holding onto money. But once I get a paycheck or two from the casino, I believe it will feel like I’ve finally completed moving to Maine. After living here for a year and a half, I think this will make the circle complete. I won’t just be here with all my stuff, but I’ll be financially self-sufficient again, not living off savings, a proper grownup again, for the first time in Maine. Perhaps this will enable me to spend a bit more time looking forward, and making plans. I’m already considering one plan: This job starts part time, but is expected to become full time, once things pick up from all the Covid bullshit. I’m not looking forward to 40 hour work weeks again, but once I’m doing that, I think I’d like to get a new car. I’ve never bought a brand new car. I think it’s time I did.

By the next time I write, I may have started working at the new job! Oh, I have already received one email from the company doing the background check asking me, “Do you also go by the following name, and/or is this you? Rick E. Weidmann.” So I guess they found you when doing my background check! I assured them that we were two different people, and they seemed satisfied with that.

All my love to you both!

[makingmoneyonlinemethod]

10 Affiliate Marketing Strategies That Generated Us Over $1M in Income

             The landscape for affiliate marketers has changed significantly over the past year.

From tighter legislation for affiliates, to Google cracking down on thin affiliate content, and a general increase in competition on the web, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for affiliate marketers to get ahead in the game.

Despite this, many smart individuals and companies continue to generate millions by staying one step ahead of the rest.

So, what is it that affiliate marketers need to do to succeed in 2017 and beyond?

1. Go one inch wide and one mile deep

Many first-time affiliate marketers make the mistake of going one mile wide and one inch deep: trying to dominate forty niches in their first few years.

When you hear about friends making millions from Clickbank products, and marketing products in emerging niches, it can be tough to stay focused.

The price for losing focus, though, is having a portfolio of 21 websites in random niches all with a pitiful domain authority generating next to nothing in sales.

By all means, experiment with different niches once you’ve achieved a level of success you’re happy with on your first website, but to begin with go one inch wide and a mile deep.

2. Create content that your competition can’t compete with

One of the biggest challenges facing affiliate marketers right now is the need to prove their value as middlemen in the value chain.

One of the biggest advantages affiliates have over established brands, and one of the greatest opportunities to add value, is the ability to be agile and act quickly with content marketing.

While brands spend months approving their content strategy and holding fruitless meetings, affiliates can be creating content of such a high standard, that competitors simply won’t have the resources to compete with, and Google would be foolish not to drive traffic to.

This is the strategy that we’ve adopted for most of our affiliate marketing sites at Venture Harbour.

Take Qosy for example. Every 4-6 weeks, Qosy publishes a 3,000 – 8,000 word guide educating readers on tough buying decisions, such as how to choose the best scotch or an engagement ring. While not all of these posts contain affiliate links, affiliate links are often added if a site we’d be recommending anyway has an affiliate program.

 It’d be hard for Google to argue with this content not adding value. After all, some of the guides have received close to 10,000 shares and have been used by the brands themselves to educate their own customers. Generally speaking, each guide takes about 40-50 hours to produce, and is benchmarked to beat the best existing piece of content on the topic in virtually every aspect (from design and share-ability, to page speed and on-page SEO).

Over the next year I think we’ll see more and more affiliates adopt this kind of strategy.

3. Build a brand that adds value to the consumer

It’s no surprise that Google’s brand-bias is strengthening. For many affiliates, this is quite a concern, as affiliates haven’t traditionally had to concern themselves with building a strong brand.

 When you look at the leading sites in insurance, travel, property, personal finance, and homeware, it’s interesting to note that many of these sites are affiliate sites. They’re also strong brands.

Moneysupermarket, Agoda, Houzz, Which, LastMinute.com, and Compare.com are all ultra-successful affiliate sites due to the strength of their brands, their editorial integrity, and the value they offer consumers.

 Over time, affiliate marketers will find it increasingly difficult to succeed without a brand that user’s trust, so consider what you’re doing to develop the brand of your affiliate website.

4. Build a foundation of recurring affiliate revenue

With affiliate marketing, there is no assurance that your current strategy will work in a month’s time. Whether it’s due to Google updating their ranking algorithm, your favourite affiliate program shutting down, or media buying costs increasing, you’d be wise to mitigate against the possibility of major changes.

There are two very effective ways to do this: diversification and by building your recurring revenue.

I’ll talk about traffic diversification in a moment, but let’s first talk about recurring revenue.

Most affiliate marketers focus on one-time payouts, which is generally smart as, due to inflation and the ability to earn interest, $100 today is worth more than $10 per month over 10 months.

The problem is that one-time payouts don’t protect you against major changes in your strategy. That’s why I recommend building up a portion of your affiliate revenue in recurring revenue.

Obviously, the feasibility of this approach depends on your niche and what products are available to promote. If the option is available, I’d highly recommend building a foundation of recurring affiliate income so that you peace of mind that no matter what happens you still receive a certain amount per month for the foreseeable future.

5. Don’t rely on a single traffic source

In February 2011, many successful affiliate woke up to find that they’re probably going to go out of business in a matter of weeks or months, no thanks to Google releasing the initial panda update.

The same thing happened again when Google launched the Penguin update in April 2012.

It’s happening to brands who’ve built up organic Facebook Page audiences, and it’s going to happen time and time again across many third-party platforms whose business model revolves around selling eyeballs.

Some of the people hit by these updates were good friends and clients, which is why I’ve been preaching about diversification of traffic ever since.

Ideally, you should own your audience – not rent it. If you absolutely have to rent it, rent it from multiple sources.

6. Be prepared for mobile

In November 2014, mobile accounted for 46% of all affiliate clicks and 26% of all affiliate retail sales. How does this affect the individual affiliate?

For one, if you’re directing traffic to sites that aren’t mobile friendly, you’re probably losing a lot of potential commissions.

Google have also started to send some rather blatant nudges to webmasters that their websites should be mobile friendly. In November, they launched a mobile-friendliness checker and began experimenting with displaying whether a page is mobile-friendly or not in search results.

 So, having a mobile-friendly site could become a good strategy for outranking your non-mobile friendly competitors in the search results.

Another consideration is that with more people using and purchasing from mobile devices, certain niches, products, and search criteria will rise in popularity, and can be capitalised on by forward-thinking affiliates.

Needless to say, if you’re not prepared for mobile, you’re preparing to be left behind.

7. Get in front of breakout and seasonal trends

Affiliate marketers have been taking advantage of trends for a long time. Yet, new trends continue to breakout, creating hundreds of new weird and wonderful multi-million dollar niches every year.

 So, how can you find out what trends are likely to emerge this year?

The first differentiation to make is between seasonal and breakout trends. Seasonal trends are recurring, and often predictable, peaks in popularity that you can prepare for in advance.

Google Trends is your best friend for identifying seasonal trends. While you can just type in a keyword to see how it’s search volume fluctuates throughout the year, you can also use the category functionality to find seasonal trends in specific industries.

 Breakout trends are much harder to predict. From electronic cigarettes and online TV, to selfie sticks and cinnamon flavoured whisky, even the most experienced industry experts often have a hard time predicting as far as six months into the future of their industry.

Regardless, reading the predictions of experts in your industry is a good place to start. If you want to know what products might be worth promoting in the travel industry this year, for example, you might want to experiment with search queries like:

 You could even try to predict which countries are about to increase in popularity, and begin promoting hotels, flights, and other products that might help people traveling to that area.

 Finally, there are a lot of great websites like TrendWatching.com that can help you estimate where the World is heading. Ultimately, though, knowing what’s around the corner comes down to having an acute awareness of what’s being talked about and piquing people’s curiosity in your industry.

8. Promote products that raise your affiliate income by an order of magnitude

When I began affiliate marketing, I promoted products ranging from $0.10 commissions to $100 commissions. It soon became clear that, while having a large volume of low commission sales can create a solid foundation for your affiliate revenue, true growth comes from high commission sales.

My strategy for growing affiliate sites has always been to find products that add value to the site’s readers, and that also have the potential to increase the site’s revenue by an order of magnitude.

If you’re currently generating $1k per month, what products will get you to $10k? If you’re at $10k, what do you need to do to get to $100k?

The answer is usually quite simple: you have to add an extra zero onto the size of your commissions or the amount of traffic you send to publishers. More often than not, this requires a refocus on which products you promote.

9. Focus on topic targeting, not keyword targeting

Google’s attempt to reduce the SEO community’s focus on keyword targeting hasn’t exactly been subtle.

From removing keyword data in Google Analytics and exact-match keyword targeting in Google Adwords, to improving their understanding of similar terms, it’s becoming harder for digital marketers to target individual keywords.

While on the surface this may seem like bad news, it’s arguably a blessing in disguise as it encourages a shift towards topic-targeting, and a focus on capturing long tail traffic.

 Instead of trying to rank your content for ‘best gardening tools’, you might instead focus on creating an in-depth piece of content on the topic of gardening tools that helped gardeners choose the right tools for their garden.

By taking this approach, it doesn’t matter whether you rank for ‘best gardening tools’. What matters is the aggregate amount of relevant long-tail traffic you receive to the content.

10. Experiment with unusual content formats for recommending products

A few years ago I heard the story of how an app developer tried to download the Amazon app to make a purchase from his phone, only to realise Amazon didn’t have an app.

He developed an unofficial Amazon app, which was effectively just an app that displayed their website in an iframe. Of course, every single product included his affiliate link – so he earned 5-8% of every sale bought through the app.

Because Amazon didn’t have an official app, his app became extremely popular, making him a very, very, rich man.

I wanted to end on this point to get your creative juices flowing. Most affiliate marketers do the same old thing in a different niche, when the biggest rewards are usually reserved for those doing the exact opposite.

In 2012, I created WhatIsMyComfortZone.com (a calculator that measures the size of a persons comfort zone). Essentially, it works by filling out a survey on what challenges you’d be willing to overcome, and then it spits out a breakdown of how your score compares with other users, along with a few recommendations.

If a user said they wanted to skydive, their results page would include a link to book a skydive. While I never expected to earn anything from these (what’s the likelihood of someone impulse booking a skydive?), I decided there was no harm in making these links affiliate links.

To my surprise, I checked my Affiliate Window account after 12 months, and what do you know, a bunch of people did impulse buy a skydive, earning a $40 commission per sale.

While a few skydiving referrals hardly made me rich, these two stories will hopefully give you some ideas about alternative formats for affiliate marketing.

Imagine if, instead of writing another 1,000-word review on the top 10 products in your niche, you developed a calculator or a quiz that used a series of criteria to automatically redirect them to the product that’s best suited for them?

Above all else, 2017 is going to be a year where affiliates need to get creative, out-think the competition, and really prove their worth in the value chain. If you have an idea you want to test, you can now get it live for less than $3 – so what are you waiting for? Make it happen.