#so I'm trying to look neutral
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#I wanna cry and curl up in a ball in a quiet and private place#but I'm at my grandma's and I have absolutely zero privacy and everyone is going to ask questions etc etc#also I want to talk to my mom#but like I said zero privacy#also my dad is here and he fucking CAN'T accept the fact that sometimes a daughter just wants to have a conversation with her mom#and her mom ONLY#and my mom does nothing about it#so I'm trying to look neutral
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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I laid out the crochet blanket I'm making for my cat, and she's lying on it even though she can only fit two thirds if her body onto it right now and this is making it all worth it 😭😭😭😭
#art#crochet#fiber art#would include a picture but i'm not about to doxx my cat (joking)#for real though it's only because it would ruin what little anonymity i have on this account </3#i got really worried that she didn't like the blanket because she was curled up next to it and would only rest her little cheek on it#if i had to guess i need only one more skein for the body and then i want to add a border and maybe tassels if i'm feeling nasty#i feel like she would LOVE tassels because she's playful and loves to play with anything but... i don't know yet#she almost swallowed string for no reason so i don't know if i trust her with tassels#the hard part is figuring out what would go well with grey and white though. like they're both neutral colours but still#nooo she's ASLEEP asleep on the blanket 😭😭😭😭#wondering if the border should be a hdc or a dc or a simple sl st though...#i was trying to follow a pattern that called for alternating sc and dc and i frogged all of it because it looked dumb on my yarn#so maybe i'll do a dc in honour of the pattern i did not follow whatsoever
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can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?
#I think there is something to be said here for being so averse to conflict and also such a control freak that I spend incalculable energy on#making other people happy/comfortable/cool-with-me so on and so forth#like this has been a problem in past friendships too as I've grown up#and I've noticed it even online like sometimes I'll have A Take and I won't post it because I don't want to be negative about something#that someone else may like or whatever#which is GOOFY because some of my favorite people are those with strong personalities (bc it's a CLEAR VIEW of that person's personality!!)#and yet here I am like "tee hee I'm so nice everyone likes me because I'm nice anyway when I look in a mirror all i see is a blank wall''#lol y'know? and like no I certainly express opinions and express emotions other than Just Being Happy#and also any waylaid attempts at being so neutral as to not offend people uhhhhh don't work. ask me how I know#(I know because people have hated my guts on the internet before lol)#so it's like: this performance is truly for no one but yourself AND!!!! *AND* it's not even good for you because you might not actually be#being your authentic self#anyways I'm afraid to be a hater and also I'm afraid people won't like me so I try hard to make them like me#and THAT leads to me getting a very nice card about how everyone likes me and me inevitably going: but do they know and like the REAL me#lololololololol that's so goofy#anyway kids be yourselves#also what can I say I derive great pleasure from trying to be the nicest person a cashier interacts with on a given day so#idk there's a middle ground to be struck therein and I'm still navigating it
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Meizan of Kanjallen design and fit check.
#spin of fate#meizan sof#trying to take the Japanese cues from the book#you can tell drawing daily is actually helping lol#might redo aranel at the end of this#I'm allergic to neutral colors so these are just gonna look like cartoon network lmao#cartoonist tries to interpret realistic characters pt.2
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It's so fucking wild how some dudes can be 100% oblivious to another dude being creepy as fuck to the women around them
#just spent several hours at a bar exchanging unspoken annoyed glances with lady while we both had to fend off weirdness from this dude#who I've had to be around before so I was very pointedly trying not to engage with him beyond surface level neutral statements#but the lady there had not met him before and didn't have her guard up at first#and even when she started to get uncomfortable the dudes we were with did not notice at all#almost punched the motherfucker when he put his hand on me#had to very firmly say 'i really don't like that stop touching me NOW' because i don't need to get in trouble for punching anyone#multiple times had to be a body buffer between him and the much more petite woman#which she thanked me for once we left the bar#but her boyfriend? utterly oblivious and also very tipsy#he noticed none of it and we had to tell him all the creepy bad vibes moments#like damn looks like I'm the better boyfriend here tbh#life of faye
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realizing that i probably spent half of my shift looking pissed off bc i was tired and had a headache and that that's probably why my new area manager came up to me and asked me if im always that quiet cmsjfjjs sorry ma'am like,,, yes i am but also im not like Angry or anything im just thinking about my blorbos while trying to get through the shift without killing myself or dropping a wrench into an engine or throwing my torque gun outside in a fit of passion or something
#like maam I've been over here for 4 days and you are just now realizing I'm very quiet? i don't think so#i think i probably looked angry as fuck and she got Concerned cmajfjajjc#i know i was bc i took note of it at some point and considered trying to make my expression mkre neutral or pleasant#but gave up bc i was already just exhausted#so like. whoops.#i did tell her that ill talk if peolle talk to me first but i just don't tend to start conversations#so if you dont talk to me i will just be quiet 9 times outta 10#anyway. fjjakfkkakfkkajf.#shh ac
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no this is not an important topic BUT im curious. note: i forgot to put a "i literally don't care i just do whatever" option but. pick im bald for that i guess
#i'm very firm on my answer but im curious about the distribution tbh#trying to add nuance to the options but there's only so much i can think of#to elaborate on the polycule option it's like. i only want to see AxB when im an AxC fan if it's AxBxC at the same time#as opposed to AxB separate from AxC or AxB and AxC at different points in a character's life or just A(C+B) but NOT BxC#(even though there are polycules that look like AxC+AxB but not BxC. ugh idk just vote with your gut explaining's hard)#anyway i've seen ppl who're bothered (/neutral) by seeing alt ships bc they a) have fictives involved b) kin a character involved or c)#selfship with a character involved so like. im curious is what im saying. bc im generally pretty insistent on my own multishipping#but i get the a b and c reasons for ppl being uncomfortable. i also get things like characters being married or smth. im starting to think#my options for this poll weren't amazing (again) but whatever
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DAX is just so expressive ♥ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#Lol#Have I mentioned I love him lately#As if I ever stop talking about how much I love any of them lol#Okay but genuinely these were really nice as warmups they were really easy to just knock out one by one#He's very expressive as Dexter! *handwaves about human neurochemistry and expressions* lol#I had to make his Neutral look extra dead inside to make up for the rest haha#Funnily enough I have actually been watching a series of streams of like VAs and visual artists and writers and stuff#And they are constantly uptalking 2D talksprites as mood-setters for dialogue#So it was really fun to make these with that in the back of my head like ''Yeah! :D They /are/ good at that!''#Very cool expressive medium :D#See if you can spot the first drafts for a few of these :3c#I'll give you a hint: Scared and Sad(? Regretful ig lol) were from some posted doodles#His grumpy one was also a doodle but I didn't post it so it doesn't count lol#Oh yeah and and a lot of these had little accessories like the fear bursts and the little sigh bubble lol I just...forgot them here lol#They're there in spirit please feel the grump lines and sweat drops in your heart <3#I had a heck of a time trying to keep his face consistent with different angles lol aren't VUX nervous to move their necks me#Just gotta actually get into 3D modeling properly smh#I keep finding myself wanting to make more now that this set's done but I'm not sure what expressions! Confused? Focused? He's so subdued#Oooh he'd suit an expression meme wouldn't he <3 Now there's an idea#Might even open an ask game for that if I can find a good one :3c Hehehe
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white man experiences racism for the first time. sad!
#Every time I instinctively select Astarion to lead the party and try to talk to someone and they say I smell like shit and to fuck off#im kinda like. good. put him in his place. this is lae'zel's turf#bg3#aslo when he stands directly in the sunlight he hurts my eyes ALDKJSLGK#Also I have a mod that removes the girls' makeup so that's why my kar and lae look prettier than your games' does#ugh I cowered away from wyll art and sc with horns for so long because i thought it was act iii spoilers#but it turns out it's a good thing that happens five minutes in that usually everyone does because it's good#and I'm the only person on earth who fucked up and lost karlach bc I saved a child from being murdered in cold blood#which started a battle in the grove#so to be in character i had wyll kill karlach because i couldn't recruit her but i found her head in a chest and can't play that save anymo#after starting this second playthrough as astarion and becoming friends with karlach#and how she is so kind and loving and affectionate even though she feels no approval towards astarion#literally the other two are high approval but karlach is stuck firmly at neutral or fair#but she still talks to me like a friend and that makes me cry and i killed her in cold blood before i even knew her and i didn't mean to#sorry i hope i get meds that makes me care about humans as much as i care about characters :(
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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Just a reminder that a vote for no one is a vote for the opposition
#Get real#You can't be neutral on this#We're not looking for an ally#We're trying to keep Republicans out#Ebcause you can belly ache about how Democrats are just as bad or how they don't do anything all you want#They're not the ones killing us in the streets#Voting blue in the 2024 election is so important you don't understand#My family is getting passports and considering skipping the country if the election goes wrong and there are a TON#Of reasons why we don't want to do that.#I'm fucking begging you#Vote blue no matter who#Even if it's Joe#Voting third party is a waste of time. It just makes the chances of winning smaller#us politics
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For someone with chronic resting bitch face I have a lot of drawings with Montana looking happy and smiling
#ssoblr#sso oc#12 y.o me sitting at the dinner table and almost being yelled at to 'stop making that face' when she was just trying to eat in peace#took me a few years to understand that apparently if I try to look neutral I look like I'm going to punch the next person I see#the times I've been asked what's wrong or if I'm mad when I thought I was looking neutral#one of my best friends I met in school said their first impression of me was that I seemed mean and a bit stuck up#like come on it's just my face do I look that unfriendly? :c#so yeah if I get cursed with rbf so does montana
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Hi, gremlin from recent coment here.
I got bit more ideas to dump in. Until they get proper name and look I will refere to them as "Cat".
-Cat being a minicon just like Ravage, but maybe without working with bigger bot. They could either be free minicon or had master that died or they run away from.
-They might be a bounty hunter, hitman or spy to hire. Maybe without faction they belong to, just who pay more.
-Alternatively, them being opposite of Ravage: Autobot security guard, responsible for keeping sensitive data from getting into Decepticon's hands.
-Since Ravage resembles black jaguar, Cat could look like other species of big cats, like lynx or caracal.
-Since I brought Kitty Softpaws, Cat having sort of disability/permanent injury. Not working T-cog, their animalistic paws replaced with clawless version or something else.
I've thought about more about this kittycon more while I was gone, and the best name I could come up with was Feliform or Felifast which is a bit ehh
May I suggest they had a host mech who died in the war (or after the war)? But they've been alone for a While since
BOUNTY HUNTER MINICON SOUNDS SO COOL TO ME
That or maybe an assassin
Or the autobot security guard idea, maybe that'd pit the two of them against each other temporarily??
Hmm, I was tempted to either base them on a more sleek panther or even a serval cat? Honestly there's so many options, though I'm still stuck on their color palette (maybe, considering Ravage is black and whitr, Cat more brightly colored?) (I'm thinking almost white and blue or yellow with black highlights?)
I feel like we should absolutely lean into our inspiration here and suggest Cat has no claws, and it causes issues like declawing usually comes with issues.
#maccadam#transformers#oc#currently unnamed oc#mtmte ravage#oc x canon#absolutely here for rivals to lovers between the two#imagine they got the modification for literally softer footsteps#because i feel like that's a thing#xhhffh I'm just imagining that one comic where prowl holds up jazz's servo and says ''these are the pads of a killer'' or something#definitely DEFINITELY yellow optics#so tempted to try and draw a sketch for them#like with puss in boots and kittu soft paws their romance is a whole ✨thing✨#megatron's got opinions on it but it's more of a ''oh so it's okay when you do it but not me?'' thing? maybe?#if they're an autobot I'd lean more towards the white and blue colors_ Neutral then i lean more towards yellow-orange with black highlights#mnnnnnnn but red optics might look nice with yellow and black—#COLORS
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I know this should be the least of my worries right now but it's just crazy to think that 8 years ago when this happened for the first time, taylor was writing miss americana and feeling completely disolated by the news. and now she's probably at a party somewhere being ~politically neutral~ about it with her trump supporter football player girlfriend squad
#just. yikes#I've seen people - who I'm mutuals with - try to blame this on travis but I don't even think he's the problem#the problem is money. I guess because she was already rich everyone always assumes it doesn't make a difference#but I think there's a huge difference in mindset when you're a regular millionaire and when you're a billionaire#and have people constantly tell you you're the biggest in the world#that changes your perspective a lot and I can't help but feel this is what happened to taylor#and now she just happens to be in a environment where her shinny new neutrality world views can unfold#but whatever I'm just thinking out loud about this tbh. trying to take my mind off more important issues#like the fact that hundreds of thousands of people will literally die because of this#idk. looking at the shitty little aspects of it so I don't have to face the bigger picture of ''this ruins everything''#rambles*
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me when i stop caring too hard
#-about something that's still bothered me for i think 3 months#i don't care. i want to write this somewhere#and after connecting a few dots with a few situations - im glad this is where it is now#in fact. this just made me realize a few things that i didn't notice back then#and I'm glad that i don't have to deal with it so much anymore#they were so willing to let go of me anyway. its pointless trying to go back and care again when im certain its going to happen again#the only thing im worried with is how it'll affect others#and im sure it will. to some capacity.#things like these are really like an injection#it will sting so hard when it happens. especially for the first time (me). but when you look back on it you realize it's not that bad-#-and it's probably actually for the better#now when i try to recall the past events. i don't feel like crying or getting emotional. i feel neutral - maybe a little puzzled#but nothing of strong emotions#maybe I will think about it from time to time but#consider it like a reflection#does it mean i moved on? maybe not. because it just comes to me whether unprompted or not#anyway. im going home#i guess the only thing that did to me now in the present is just. made me more wary of what i come across#actually. ill never forget what they described me. the absolute gall to say that is really appalling#i am sorry if this will upset someone. but i want to say what i want to say
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