#so I'm not sure where it is or if it exists

[crazy-pages]

A study published in 2017 in the BMJ found that 3% of people hit by rubber bullets died of the injury. Fifteen percent of the 1,984 people studied were permanently injured by the rubber bullets, also known as “kinetic impact projectiles.”

So I'm a safety coordinator head at my workplace. That means I'm in charge of making sure we're all inspecting labs correctly and that any safety concerns get followed up on. And there's a key safety concept I'd like to introduce you to, called "administrative controls" vs. "engineering controls".

"Administrative controls" are anything where safety is enforced by a behavioral expectation. This is anything from "don't enter this room while the laser safety light is on" to "yeah that machine is a giant whirling maw of death, but just don't put your hands in it".

"Engineering controls" are things which make the unsafe behavior impossible, or more difficult to occur. So instead of just telling people not to enter the laser room when the light is on, you make it so that the door locks when the laser light goes on. Or you put an enclosure around the death machine that automatically shuts the machine off (and keeps it off!) when you open it.

And the lesson we get drilled into our heads over and over and over is that administrative controls are only for when no equivalent engineering control exists. You never use an administrative control as a replacement for an engineering control. That's a paper safety measure, meant only to make things look safe and not be safe.

I see no reason why this principle shouldn't apply to police use of force.

Cops shooting rubber bullets at an angle is an administrative control, and it's trash. Not giving them rubber bullets in the first place is an engineering control. And when you think of it in that context, you realize how the very concept of shooting rubber bullets off the ground was never really a true safety measure in the first place.

Also, step 0, the ur-safety measure above engineering controls, is "don't include unnecessary hazards in the first place". You know. Don't use police to suppress protests at all, and then there's no hazard at all.

[spiddermen]

deltarune - world egg theory

anyone else think it's weird that we never see anything outside of hometown? there's no pictures of the outside world, the camera never pans out, and the sole road outside of town is blocked. the obvious reason for this is that we never need to leave the town, but i think there might be more to it than that. what if the reason we can't leave is because there's actually nothing outside of hometown?

so. we all know deltarune isn't real. as such, the world of deltarune isn't real - there's nothing to it outside of the parts we see. this is true for every game, of course, but i think in deltarune, it might be true in-universe as well. think about it - nobody can use the internet, we don't see anybody enter or leave the town, and we can't contact asriel. what if the reason for this is because there's literally nothing outside of hometown? if there's nothing there, there'd be no roads to follow, no internet to connect to, no phones to call. but why?

in the universe of deltarune, gaster is a stand-in for the game's devs. he's the one who revealed it on twitter, posts about it every time a new chapter comes out, and even calls it "my deltarune". it's likely that this world is literally his creation - a small, fictional world, an experiment that he's created. the entire world seems to be designed around his story, seeing as the religion the town follows is literally the story of deltarune; and in the church, one of the prophecy screens says "THE STORY OF THIS WORLD. <DELTARUNE.>", explicitly calling the entire world deltarune. if he made this world, why would he waste time and effort making pointless, extraneous content that nobody will ever see? why make anything outside of hometown at all?

i think this is how dess disappeared. normally, nobody inside the town perceives that anything's wrong. (if you've watched utena or the madoka movie, you'll know what i mean.) kris, dess, noelle, and asriel liked to go exploring in the forest around the graveyard and the bunker, but they shouldn't have been able to break out of bounds and escape hometown. that is... until they followed the pointed tail.

in a secret room in the second church world, you can find an organ philosopher that says a bunch of scrambled text. once unscrambled, it reads "lost where the forest would grow, the children followed the pointed tail." in another prophecy room and the game files, you can find this pointed tail, and see that it's made of circles - much like the cats in noelle's cat petterz game. this circular, pointed tail likely belongs to the FRIEND cat, an enigmatic entity that rarely appears in the game, yet seems to exist on the same layer as the title screen UI and the gonermaker. it's a creature that, by that virtue, would know that deltarune is just a game, and that the world of hometown is fake. it would be able to guide dess, kris, and noelle to the true end of the world, where dess would be able to get "lost where the forest would grow" - the place it would have grown, if the world was real.

but why? well, we know that gaster sees this world as his experiment, something he has control over. there might be something he's trying to find here, something he wants to discover. i think that thing he's researching is probably hope, and determination. by making a fake world with a emotional story and lovable characters, he'll make us all get attached to it. we'll defeat the enemies, progress the story, and hope for the character's well being. when he sees us trying to defeat the knight, he cheers us on, because he sees that hope shining in us, and knows that his theory might just be right. once we're invested enough, determined enough, hopeful enough, that's when his deltarune will be complete, and he'll achieve... well, i'm not really sure! i think it's a little too early to predict his real plan, but i think that our hope and determination are a big part of it. like he said in the chapter 2 release teaser, deltarune glows brightly from our hope.

what about asriel? isn't he at college? yeah, but... how do we know that's real? in the game files, that college and asriel both don't exist. i think that in-universe, he probably isn't being "rendered", in a manner of speaking. if he needs to show up in the story, files related to him will be added, and he'll be there just when he's needed. in the meantime, his personal story only exists in our minds, and that's good enough for the world of deltarune.

isn't that a really depressing ending? being told that everyone isn't real? maybe! i feel like there's a few different ways this could resolve, but i've got no clue what toby dreamed up that made him so determined to make this game. but i've got two opinions on possible outcomes, one for the normal route and one for the alt route.

on the normal route - i think the resolution will revolve around the idea that in your mind, fictional characters are just as real as you treat them. sure, they're not "real" so to speak, but we care about them! we're emotionally impacted by them, we cry and laugh and hope for their future. they might not be real, but their emotions and feelings are real through us, the players. the world of deltarune doesn't end just because the code stops running - it keeps existing in the mind of everyone who's played it. gerson says that the next pages are blank, ready to be filled in by the youth, and we just need to pick up the pen of hope and keep making it. susie's hoped-for eternity will live on in our hearts - as long as we don't forget.

on the alt route - the alt route is reached by completely disregarding the idea that these characters are real. we don't care about their feelings - sure, we do a little bit, but all we want is to find everything. in mantle, we become strong by destroying everything and everyone, and once we've reached our full power, we're able to destroy the trees. in the second area of mantle, you destroy some very hometown-colored trees, progress down a path for a little bit, and then find a door... that leads to an endless, empty black abyss. i think this is foreshadowing the alt route's eventual message - if you treat the characters as fake, disregard their emotions and what they want, and just treat the game as something to find content in, you'll be faced with the fact that it really is fake. you've stopped yourself from being immersed by allowing yourself to treat the characters as nothing more than sprites and dialogue, and in response, that's all the game becomes - a fake world with nothing on the other side.

[followthebluebell]

Hello! I was wanting to hear more about non-purebred brachycephaly in cats. This is my seven year old tuxedo girl, Miss Morgie, (shes biologically male but the rescue agency mislabled her). She was a rescue from Kuwait. I have no info on where she was found or if she was the product of a kitty mill or backyard breeder there. Do cats like this breed freely anywhere? I wouldn't say that her smushed snout impairs her as much as other cats that I've seen. She will make a honking noise when upse (it's extremely cute) but I've never seen her grow tired or wheeze when playing. She was active when she was young. She still play fights with our other cat.

Im also not sure if this is a "breed" characteristic linked to the mutation or nurture but she seems more... docile and even-tempered than other rescue cats I've had. She will let strangers pet her belly, she tolerates my gf's mom's hyperactive pom puppy and used to let the little doggy /h*mp/ her when we used to dog sit (I cut that out DW). I've also noticed she has next to no practical hunting instincts! Our other rescue who is just A Normal Kitty Guy chatters and gets murder crazy about birds while she just windmills her gigantic paws and meows. 😭😭 it's entirely possible that she's just a special lil gal, but I've heard the mutation affects intellect...? I wouldn't say she is a dumb cat by any stretch, she understand some basic commands and I've inadvertently trained her to recognize when I'm having panic attacks. She also seems to intuitively pick up on creative ways to get her humans to do her bidding (like slamming cabinets open and shut precisely when we are on zoom calls).

I included photos so you can see the extent of her brachycephaly. We call her a half-smush. I wanted to write a lot in defense of my girl's intellect because people said she looks "wall eyed" and like she has "no thoughts" and thar just made me really sad!!!!

I want to dedicate my cat ownership from now on to rescuing abandoned cats with brachycephaly bc of how much I adore her. I even adore brushing and washing her and all the other nonsense we cursed these poor, cute critters to need. She's just a joy. Ty ty ty for reading !! 😭😭

1. Picture of her at 2 years old 2. Her and her "prey" (my socks) 3. Tino (my gf's cat) and our dame 4-5. Mlem.

Aww, what a beauty!! She's gorgeous!

"Do cats like this breed everywhere?"

Yes, absolutely! tbh, every trait exhibited by a specific breed is naturally occurring within feral cat populations. By this, I mean someone, some hundred years ago, picked up a squishy faced cat from a naturally occurring cat litter and went, "oh, wow, I want more of this :)" and then set out to breed that particular trait consistently. But the squishy faced trait still exists within that original cat population, and cats are spread widely.

In addition, cats are beloved pets all over the world. They are present in EVERY continent except Antarctica (and probably some islands). I think Kuwait in particular has hosted a few cat shows.

While many cats are very beloved in Kuwait, it also has very... non-existent animal protection laws. Many cats are abandoned. It's entirely possible your girl is a Fancy Girl who was abandoned or got lost.

it's entirely possible that she's just a special lil gal, but I've heard the mutation affects intellect…?

To an extent, yes. It's a bit complicated. The mutation that gives brachy cats their unique look also affects their skull. Their skull shape puts pressure on the mesencephalon portion of their brain and this can cause issues with sensory, motor controls, reflexes, and impulse control. As a result, many owners believe their brachy cats are a bit slow to react to things, extremely tolerant of nonsense, and tend to fall off of furniture.

I can't say if this affects your cat.

This doesn't affect a cat's emotional intelligence, for lack of a better phrase. They are still very much in tune with their owners.

Thank you very much for loving her. Her coat is absolutely immaculate. It's clear how much you care and love this cat. It's reflected in everything she is. Thank you for sharing her too.

[sparrows4bats]

Wayne Farm AU Part 2

The Unicorn Incident starts like any other day. Bruce is trying to convince his son to leave his state of the art farm to go to school. He is failing.

Damian had been up all night with his pet tiger, Bianca. She was apparently feeling sad, and cuddles were the only solution.

Bruce had a heart attack when he got back from patrol to see Damians room empty and had Zeta Tubed to the farm.

(He had relented and outfitted the Cave at the farm with a zeta tube, bat computer, and small arsenal of emergency supplies. He's still not sure how Talia built an actual underground cave and then filled it with bats. He's a little upset that she bought the farm in the first place, but there is now another safe place for his children to go in case of emergency, so it's fine! Really! Also, Talia refuses to take it back)

He has a further heart attack when he finds him asleep with a fully grown tiger tucked firmly around him like a living blanket.

When he goes to wake his child up, he gets judgemental looks from the Tiger! She even growls at him when he dares to gently shake Damian awake.

His sleepy youngest son refuses to leave his tiger or his farm, and Bruce feels himself start to give in due to his pout and drowsy cuteness.

It does not help that Damian could have a PhD. by now if Bruce hadn't wanted him to socialise with people his own age who aren't superheros.

He considers getting Alfred to come and intervene, but Alfred takes great joy in Bruce dealing with his children's stubbornness as payback for the many tantrums and grey hairs Bruce caused the butler as a child.

Damian is debating the ethics and effectiveness of the American school system and how it has not been meaningfully innovated since the industrial revolution when something catches Bruce's eye.

Behind Damian and the judgemental tiger, there is a flash of white just outside the boundary of the enclosure.

Damian notices his gaze shift and stops arguing to turn around.

"Is that a unicorn?"

Bruce feels any hope he had for the day leave his body. "I think so." He looks at his transfixed child and dreads his next question."Is it yours?"

"No."

"Damian."

"Father."

"Did you get a unicorn and fail to inform me?"

"No, father, but I do have space in the stable if they require a home."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because we know nothing about it or where it even came from."

Damian looks over at the unicorn, who is happily munching on the wildflowers that Damian had grown around the farm to encourage the bee population. "They seem content."

"No. I am calling Constantine, and I'm sure we can find out where they belong and return them to their natural habitat." Bruce reasons.

Something in his wording must get through to his son because Damian nods and starts to leave the enclosure with Bruce following behind.

Bruce manages to get through to Constantine on the fourth try while he watches Damian inch closer and closer to the unicorn.

The warlock sounds like he just woke up, but after a few terse orders, a portal opens and a dishevelled John Constantine walks through, smoking a cigarette and glaring.

"Good morning to you." He grunts.

"Thank you for coming." Batman bites outs.

"Didn't give much of a choice now, did you? I expect a favour for waking me up, by the way."

Bruce glares harder and grunts.

"What can I do for you Batsy?"

"Get rid of it."

"What?"

"The unicorn, get rid of it. Now."

They are interrupted by said unicorn walking forward to Damians outstretched hand.

The boy gasps in delight when the mythical beast allows him to pet it. Its large head bent towards the child like an oversized dog.

"Shite. Well, no can do, I'm afraid."

"Explain." Bruce fights the urge to yank Damian back, away from the potential threat.

"Unicorns are stubborn, annoying, bastards. They keep themselves hidden from most of the world and usually have to be summoned through some heavy duty rituals to appear in this realm of existence."

"Then how did it end up here?" Bruce grits his teeth as his son leads the unicorn towards the stable to get it some food. It follows him happily.

The warlock is suddenly grinning at him. "The unicorn appears and basically chooses a person, someone they feel a connection to. Some think it's linked to purity of heart, but that's bullshit made up to sell t-shirts."

"Is it dangerous?!"

"No, not especially. It's like having a large magical stray cat. You can try to separate them, but Unicorns will just teleport back to their chosen person. Treat it well, and it looks like your little Robin will have a friend for life."

"No, get rid of it!"

"You try to convince an extradimensional horse with an attitude problem to leave his new human pet and then come talk to me." John Constantine looks delighted now. Bruce resists the urge to strangle him. Barely.

"It's looks like you have the space, at least," the sorcerer indicates to the meadows that surround them. "I thought you lived in a gothic castle or something. This doesn't really feel like your scen- is that a tiger?" The English man stops to stare at Bianca.

"It's not mine, it's robins."

"The kid has a farm? and a tiger?"

"They were a gift from his mother."

John looks at the Batman frown and starts laughing uncontrollably. "You mean to tell me that in the game of divorced parents, the great Batman is losing!"

"Shut it!" Bruce's order but that seems to make the man laugh harder.

"Father! The unicorn has requested to stay here, I have accepted this honour and, as such, need to acquire a few materials to ensure his care."

"Robin, that's not a good idea." Bruce tries to reason only to get interrupted by Damian stomping his foot.

"Fine, then I shall ask Mother. She is quite adept at finding magical items. She did so with Goliath ."

"Do not call your mother!"

John is looking between them like it's a tennis match. Bruce wants to wipe the grin off his face, badly.

Damian looks him imploringly. "So I can keep her?" The unicorn is standing behind his son using him as a scratching post.

Bruce wants to say no, force John Constantine to banish the damn unicorn away from Gotham but Damian is smiling as he pets his new friend.

He looks so happy and at peace that Bruce knows he is going to cave soon.

The unicorn takes the opportunity to mess up Damian hair while he giggles.

Bruce has never heard his son giggle before.

"Fine. But you have to go to school, no arguments."

"Thank you!" Damian actually separates from the magic horse to hug him, Bruce embraces him as enjoys the rare moment of affection.

Until John Constantine buts in. "Aww now isn't this lovely. So touching, huh Bats."

"Leave if youre not going to be helpful." Bruce orders over his sons head.

The warlock has a shit eating as he addresses Damian. "But I can help Unicorns prefer certain food and plants. I can get you a few books Robin."

"That would be much appreciated, Mr Constantine. As I have you here, is there anything you know about Dragons?"

"Dragons?"

"I have a Dragon and a Dragon bat both seem content, but I wish to provide them with more stimulation."

"Alright then, can I see them? Can't promise I'll be any help though ' John looks genuinely intrigued as Damian leads him on a tour of his farm, Bruce has a bad feeling about how quickly Damian takes to the magic user.

He is proved correct when a few weeks later, after John Constantine starts dropping off magical Strays, much to Damians delight.

Bruce is sure he is doing it to annoy him, and it is unfortunately working. He loses it after the gryphon shows up and starts racing with Goliath and Wiggles through the sky.

The Justice League is very confused why Batman is so murderous and John is so gleeful.

Luckily for the Hellblazer, Jon Kent replaces him on the top of Bruce's shit list soon enough.

[seewetter]

I would say that looking at AI artwork and calling it a stolen good or perceiving the training or generating of generative AI as a process of theft is incorrect. The models don't steal anything, per se. Even the concept of "collage" isn't really applicable. The problem with AI art isn't that the artist or the company were thieves. The output isn't in any meaningful way "stolen".

Neither is the generation process theft. Nor is the use of the final product the use of a stolen good. Nor is display of the final product the display of a stolen good. The artist is not a thief. The AI itself is a statistical model so not only is it not a thief but also...it didn't steal anything.

The only part of the process that can be likened to theft is taking data without permission and repurposing it commercially. Take for example "This Person Does Not Exist", a generator for fake human faces. I'm fairly sure it was made by taking hundreds of millions of personal photographs without permission to make a image generation tool. The output isn't stolen at all and the process that generates the fake faces isn't a process of theft. But the way these photos were collected is, to my mind, equivalent of finding every publicly available source of images, regardless of the ethics of their collection and just feeding my machine all these images without asking. You could say that this cleverly skirts around the problem of being theft by only using what is shared publicly (and everything online is public in some sense), but technically the web crawlers used to create these models ignore requests to not take these images and the crawlers tend to try and circumvent security and safety measures to keep the images from the public eye. A similar thing happens with people using AI to rewrite existing fanfictions and publish them as YouTube videos: the technology isn't theft, the process isn't entirely theft, but theft is clearly involved when person A's fanfic is cheaply and without permission turned into a different medium for benefit. This is an exploitative process, where a person's painstaking and time-consuming creative efforts are used as a harvest-able resource to make money. It is the equivalent of finding a loophole in local bylaws to steal bricks from a brick road that doesn't technically belong to the municipality or the private owner -- who suddenly has to deal with a big gap in the road which can't be patched because someone will drive by to legally nab any available bricks. Just because technically no one "owns" something doesn't mean that person A isn't taking something from person B which inconveniences person B and wasn't agreed on. And if, after unsuccessfully trying to negotiate with person A, it becomes clear that person A will always take advantage of this "free stuff", then person B has every right, in my opinion, to employ the concept of theft. But that doesn't mean that using the innovative brick-grabbing tool is tantamount to theft and if the thief uses these bricks as a template to create new art and doesn't really look at or care for the stolen bricks, then the new art isn't stolen. Also if what is happening is less like "taking bricks" and more like driving by and creating a copy of each brick every day then perhaps this has more in common with harassment than theft...but I think the people could still have a point that this comes across as someone stealing the unique designs of their bricks.

the framing of generative ai as "theft" in popular discourse has really set us back so far like not only should we not consider copyright infringement theft we shouldn't even consider generative ai copyright infringement

[nullicaput]

firsts, seconds, and thirds. III (final)

Pairings: Geum Seong-je x Reader, Wolf Keum x Reader

Tags: Minor College AU, Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, Language and Profanities, Seong-je being mentally unstable

Summary: In a world where soulmates exist, you found yourself rejecting yours when you learned who it was.

Word count: 3877

previous chapter.

You did not know how long you were waiting outside the door of your neighbor Hwangmo. Curled up with your head on top of your folded knees, you patiently sat on the dusty floor of the hallway.

"Yo." 

"Senior," the guy you were waiting for said, causing your terrified heart a bit of relief. "What are you doing outside?" 

You lifted your head and made a sushing gesture. 

"Hwangmo."

He knelt in front of you and carefully pulled you up. With him present, the tears that you were keeping from spilling poured like a dam breaking. Your hearing stopped working due to your brain being to concentrated at the threat that was hiding inside your home—you did not notice that it was not just Hwangmo with you. 

"You cryin'?" Wolf teased. "Oh, fuck, you are."

"What happened?" the orange-haired male asked, concern evident in his face. 

"Someone's inside," you muttered, too scared to be heard. "The doorknob's busted."

"Amateur," Wolf interjected.

As if you were not even aware of his existence, you simply kept holding his underling's hands tightly. To Wolf's irritation, you even pulled his subordinate into an embrace, searching for comfort and asking for help. 

"Hwangmo," you sobbed. 

That almost drove Wolf over the edge. 

His eyes darkened at the sight of you confiding to his right-hand man instead of him, when he was the first one to approach you and not Hwangmo. The same man he was always with when he was doing errands from the big boss, assisting him with sweeping the garbage, having the same face and knuckle wounds—Hwangmo was a violent guy like him, and yet, you do not appear to fear him the way you did with Wolf. In a way, he envied Hwangmo and desired to switch places with him. For a reason he knew too well, he was frustrated that even Hwangmo could be capable of softness—and you even let that softness in. 

He craved your attention as though it was a necessity, as though it was his right—as though it was right. Perhaps, it was. After all, you were his, as he was yours.

Vexed, he went inside in your stead. The reason was unknown, even for him. He was uncertain if it was due to your display of clinging onto someone else, him just caring for your sake, or him wanting to be praised for his heroism—he was unsure. Hell, this was his first time feeling this way. No less for a person who seemed would hate the idea of being his. 

"Where's he going?" you panicked—again, not addressing him directly. 

"Seongje's got this," Hwangmo assured you. 

"Who?" 

"Wolf."

Inside your unit, Wolf switched the lights on and wore your plush indoor slippers. Light on his feet, he attempted to walk the pace you have and located the rat that made your door useless. He checked every nook and cranny, practically turning your flat upside down just to find his target. Not so long, he heard a rustling under your bed.

"Idiotic fuck."

From outside, you heard a sharp scream followed by a bone-chilling crack. The main door was opened, and you watched Wolf dragging a person by the hair.

Your stalker.

"Didn't I tell you that this is my turf?" He scowled, taking his glasses off and giving it to his right-hand man uncharacteristically gentle. "Specs."

You closed your eyes and covered your ears, but the sound of his fist hitting the man against the railings of the apartment reached you. 

"I'll tell the police!" your stalker threatened. 

"That you stalked and broke in in someone's flat then got pulverized?" He laughed. "Sure, you will."

You heard something hard hit the metal rails. Your stalker grunted each time it did.

"I'm sure you can survive the fall," Wolf exclaimed with mirth dripping from each word. "This is the third floor, you know?"

"I...won't," the rat pleaded. "I won't come here again! I won't bother her again!"

With Wolf's last punch, your stalker passed out, his head hanging limply. You soulmate let his victim fall onto the floor without any ounce of care. Instead, he scanned his bruised knuckles drip with blood.

Removing your hands from your ears, you ran straight to your unit with urgency. 

"Not even a verbal thanks?" Wolf teased. "You're cruel, Senior."

"Senior, where are you going?" 

"I'm checking for cameras."

Hwangmo exhaled, feeling the tension, which almost grew but did not.

"We can lend her one of the empty units," he suggested, returning his superior's eyewear. 

"Those shits are dusty. Can't have her gagging again after a display of charity, can we?" Wolf wiped his glasses with a portion of his shirt that did not have any blood. "Just guard her door tonight. We'll buy a replacement knob tomorrow."

You woke up to your lungs dry and heavy.

You opened your eyes to see light passing through the small gap of your bedroom door. 

"Why are the lights on?" you whispered. 

"Ah, yes," you talked to yourself as you went out. "Hwangmo's sleeping here because the doorknob's ruined."

You were walking to get yourself a glass of water when you saw a familiar purple hair through your peripheral vision. 

"Seongje?" you said, still half-awake. 

"Seongje?" He took his jacket off and fixed his sitting posture. "Where'd you learn that name from?"

Did he notice? 

"It was a slip of his tongue. Hwangmo's."

"Yeah?"

There was silence that hung thick as you took a step back away to reach the kitchenette of your apartment. It was a clumsy attempt to distract him from the fact that you uttered a word—your first word as his soulmate—directly to him, and you were hesitant if you could actually pull it off. You were not even sure why you were trying to grab a knife from the few pieces you had, but your gut was telling you to have something that could protect you. The small of your back made contact with the sink, while he remained sitting on the couch—he was not physically blocking the exit but could grab you easily if you were ever to attempt to make a dash for it—and yet, there was a shift in the air. It was malicious, territorial, famished—predatory. 

The seriousness that he typically had returned to his face; he was far from being entertained, which he usually was when he was messing around with you against your wishes. He appeared to be calm, like he was calculating the time he must take to close the distance between the two of you, which was not difficult considering how small this apartment was. 

"Since when have you known?" he said, his head tilting to the side—a habit of yours he adapted.

He has speculations that you did know all along, especially since you have been acting so avoidant with him whenever he was around, but there was something that told him that you knew the truth a lot earlier.

"Since when did you know?" he repeated, placing his glasses onto your coffee table. 

Your breath has been caught in your throat; you knew that this was the end of your year-long, one-sided masquerade.

"Why are you here in my unit?" you pathetically inquired.

"I asked you first."

"Thank you for dealing with him, but you can go now." 

"One more bullshit, and I'll knee you." With few steps, he closed the distance between the two of you to a single meter. "Don't think of grabbing that knife."

You did not listen to him and blindly picked one of the knives. It was the thinnest yet longest one. You pointed it at him, gripping the handle so hard your knuckles have turned lighter.

"Leave," you said. 

"Not before you tell me why the fuck would you hide this from me."

"Leave, Wolf." 

He hissed in pain and grunted, "How the hell are you not feeling hot?"

You were.

All this time, you were.

You were just hiding it, because having this pain was better than having him. 

"I don't want you."

People with sadistic tendencies experience enjoyment when seeing others react to the pain or violence they inflicted them, while those who are masochistic in nature find pleasure in receiving actions that are typically considered as violent and derogatory. 

Wolf was not a clueless young man who was oblivious to his sadomasochism. If anything, he knows himself so well he actively seek indulgement to satisfy it. As his journey to search for anything to give him the appropriate stimulation, he has heard insults after insults after insults that they have stopped affecting him the way he intended. After a few years of constant fighting, verbal arguments do not feel enough—they do not feel like anything anymore. 

Still, he knew all too well how to distinguish insults from the otherwise. 

What you said was not an insult at all.

So why did it feel like one?

"Say that again." 

"I didn't tell you, because I don't want you." You sighed to calm your nerves, you fingers tensing around the handle. "You won't get any merit from doing this. Just stop." 

"Where is the mark?"

"I'm not telling you," you insisted. 

"I'm losing all the patience I saved just for you."

"Why do you think I don't want you? Why do you think I would want you?"

You wished your words of rejection stung him—they did.

"Keep running your mouth, and I'll close it for you." 

"How? Are you going to beat me up the way you do with those people unprovoked?"

"Keep testing me," he warned.

"Even if you hit me, it wouldn't even be a shock to me." 

He stepped close to you.

You changed your initial grip and swung your dominant hand to stab him with the knife.

"Crazy bitch—"

He grabbed you by the wrist. You did not let go of the blade. Your nails dug deep into the flesh of your palm. You kept pushing. He kept holding you back. You used your other hand to increase the force. The wedge approached his eye; only an inch remained before it punctured him.

"Hah," he exhaled.

Wolf Keum has been known by those like him to have a three-second rule, which states that anyone who holds eye-contact with him for three seconds or more will be kissing his fist. Of course, not everyone was aware of that—and he adored the fact that there are individuals who do not—and they unfortunately get obliterated before they could even realize that they have broken that unsaid rule. 

Those who have mentored you and watched you speak in front of the crowd have known your own three-second rule. It refers to your habit of staring at a particular person in the audience for no more that three seconds before looking away to glance at the other ones. 

Right now, you have broken your own rule. Right now, he was not punishing you for breaking his rule, too.

From his position, he could clearly see the fullness of your intention to rob him of his ability to see with both his eyes. He cackled at the view of your fear vanishing ang becoming replaced with something more brave, of something more dangerous. For such a stupid reason, you were so prepared to take him down just so he would not be able to touch you and to claim what the divine beings have given to him. He never assumed that you could ever be more beautiful now that you were glaring at him with eyes filled with resentment and adrenaline than when you were smiling peacefully as though there were no threats in this world that could ever make you feel afraid for your life.

If it were anyone else, they would have been cowering in fear in front of him and begging for his forgiveness, and yet, there you were, staring at him straight in the eye as though it was the rightest thing in the world.

"[Name]," he said so quietly you could mistake it for a purr. 

His free hand moved to your neck and grasped the soft flesh that filled the hollowness of your airway. He could feel your pulse against his thumb, beating, throbbing, telling him to let go. However, he did none of the sort. He did not take his hand off, nor did he loosen the grip he had around your wrist.

"Senior."

He smiled, and then, he punched you straight to the gut.

"You—ack!" 

The knife fell from your hands, while you fell onto him. You coughed. You wheezed. You cried in pain.

"Bastard," you gasped, your breathing ragged. "You lunatic!"

"You kept blabbering about me being violent and shit, and yet you almost took my eye out."

You clawed his shirt in order to gain some stability, and he could feel your nails digging into his skin despite his thick shirt. He kicked the blade away while you latched onto him. Your vision swam due to the impact of his punch against your body, and you could only assume that the moment you let go will be the moment you would fall onto the floor. He did not stop you, but he pushed you away just a tad bit so he could still see your face. Your head hung behind while your back was now supported by his left forearm. He lifted your shirt up just below your chest, and he saw the letters peak through the waistband of your bottoms and undergarments—he tugged them down. 

Just low enough to see. 

Just low enough to feel. 

Just low enough to make you feel.

"Don't," you threatened. 

Wolf—Seongje—Geum was not kind.

He was not going to stop just because you told him to.

"Hm? What are you gonna do about it?"

He used his thumb to trace the words on your stomach, internally laughing that his firsts were nothing graceful, just like he was.

"So you knew a year ago."

He grinned, but all it seemed to you was an animal baring its teeth.

"I said, don't." 

"And I asked you, what are you gonna do about it?"

Before he could touch the last syllable and end the process, you slapped his hand away from you skin. Using the heel of your palm, you hit the bottom part of his jaw with all your might. Without any missing beat, you bolted to the door, not paying any mind to your still bare feet. You bit the inner flesh of your cheek as your vision darkened; you would not possibly stop your escape just because you were still nauseous from the hit.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Just an arm away from your door, your feet were then lifted from the ground. Before your mind could register it, you were thrown onto the couch with such force that could knock you out. He moved on top of you and placed himself between your legs. Horror has enveloped your whole figure, yet you did not let it petrify you. Even with your vulnerable position, you mustered all your courage and kicked him on the side. Not letting him recover, you curled your fist and hit him with the back of your hand. You pulled yourself together and attempted to get away, but Wolf pulled you by the ankle. He locked his arms around you from behind, and even when you elbowed him so many times, he did not set you free.

"You little shit, let me go!"

You inhaled a lungful of air—

You headbutted him.

"Fuck!" Wolf shouted, his arms losing strength. 

"Senior!" The door was kicked open to Hwangmo's horrified expression. "What the hell's happening here?"

"Help me get up," you said. "Quick!"

He complied to your request without asking any unnecessary questions first. He guided you to your divider furniture, and you leaned your whole body weight onto it for support. The adrenaline that kept you standing has dispersed, and the initial rush you had has left you. You panted as you pulled your bottoms, eyes squeezed shut while you felt the aftermath of your squabble with the infamous rabid dog himself. 

"That thing's my soulmate," you answered without being asked.

"Oh," Hwangmo said, pitying you. 

"Shouldn't you be rejoicing that I'm yours?" Wolf huffed, finally regaining his full consciousness after your attack. 

You did not reply to his mocking and fixed your appearance. You massaged your hands, their first time being used to fight and all. While him, he gazed at you as if you were the most ethereal being in the universe. He looked so drunk, his liquor being your rage and disgust.

"So what's your plan?" Hwangmo voiced out, not wanting to further fuel your impending wrath. "I mean, you two are not exactly the most compatible pair." 

You nodded, agreeing fully. 

"We'll trace each other's first words." For the first time, you looked at him calmly. "After this, let's just pretend not to know each other."

"Nah."

As fast as the word left his mouth, you picked up a picture frame from the displays and threw it straight to your other half's forehead. Lucky for him, he dodged, and the frame landed onto the couch with a thump. 

"Then what's the point of you asking me where my mark is if you didn't even want us to trace it?"

You clicked your tongue. 

This is why you never liked being angry. You automatically throw everything you put your hands on before you could even rationalize your feelings.

"I never said anything about us not tracing each other's marks, sweet." He even had the gal to shrug. "I just don't want to pretend that we don't know each other after this."

The vein on your forehead bulged and on the verge of popping.

"What are you, a romantic?" you hissed. "Just burn yourself to death, would you?"

"I'm burning, alright?"

Hwangmo sweatdropped, feeling awkward that he was there with the two of you, like a child watching his old, divorced parents argue for the nth time today.

"When are we gonna buy the doorknob?" your underclassman shifted the conversation. "Wolf." 

"Maybe tomorrow," he replied. 

"I'm buying it myself, so don't bother." You pinched your nose bridge in annoyance. "And give me back my first aid kit, Wolf."

He wore his eyes glasses before shooting you a cheeky wink.

"Call me Seongje."

It did nothing to appease your negative feelings. In fact, it only made you more furious. However, you were too tired to deal with any of this any longer. 

"Hwangmo, return my kit at the morning."

"Will do."

Extra:

There was a young man who was sitting at the students' lounge with his eyes watering in fatigue. His purple hair was being secured back by a wire headband, and his glasses, which he usually wore, was neatly folded along his uniform collar. He had a lollipop stick in between his teeth, the candy already melted not too long ago, and his right hand, still bruised, was holding a mechanical pencil. If one were to check his upper arm, they would see a nicotine patch plastered against his skin. He yawned, exhausted from doing all the duties he had for the union and having no complete rest for a week now. To top it all off, he just finished a fight an hour or two ago with a guy whose name he did not even know but managed to tick him off.

"Hey," he tried catching the attention of the personsitting across from him—you. "Hey." 

"What?" you snapped.

"What's this mean?"

Without even looking up from your notebook, you pushed his own back to him. 

"That's for you to figure out, dumbass."

Normally, he would punch the person who has insulted him, but he just zipped his mouth since he was aware that you could just ignore him for a year without feeling any guilt. He did not want another surge of nagging from you, knowing how accurately your words could hit him as if there was a target drawn on his back. Maybe it was his influence rubbing on you, or maybe this was your real personality all along, but you really had the knack on making him feel ashamed for not being a good citizen. Yes, you never actively tried to convert him into a kind person altogether, yet being around you makes him doubt if he really was as unbothered as he claimed himself to be since his middle school years.

"I will, damn."

You popped a soft candy in your mouth and quietly chew it. You then heard Wolf grunting before saying something incoherent under his breath.

"What now?" 

"I've been reading this shit for thirty minutes," he complained. 

"And? Is your program mine?"

Defeated, he rolled his eyes—again, a habit he learned from you.

"You know, you should act a little sweeter with me." 

"Why? Because we're soulmates?" You flipped though your own notes. "You knew that If I had the choice, I would ask for a smarter other half, but here I am. I get what I get, and you get what you get, no?"

At this point, he knew that opening his mouth would be a self-trap that would lead him to a knock-out. 

"If you can't figure these out, drop out," you said, not realizing that this was the same thing he told you some time ago. "I'm not helping you with your studies, especially when I didn't even force you to transfer here."

A year has passed after the revelation, and it has been months after this guy has switched programs and colleges just for you—or whatever he meant by that. The two of you never acted the way soulmates would, being loving and all, but that connection would be obvious in moments where Seongje would glare at those people you call friends whenever they linger too long. You never touched him after the time you traced each other's marks, and he never did, too, yet the space he maintained when he sat beside you would be too close for comfort, if it were not for the fact that the two of you were technically made for one another. Anyone with eyes could see that although you do not see Wolf as someone important the same level he sees you, he still stayed and even changed slightly for the better because of you. One could argue that it was because he was growing older that was why he has become more tamer compared to how he used to be in the past, but that would be untrue. No other viable reason could explain the change in his overall behavior except the soulmate link.

"[Name]."

From under the desk you both shared, he nudged your leg with his right foot. When you did not glance at him, he lightly kicked you again; this time, on your thigh. 

"[Name], let's go on a date after this."

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"You could be." 

"No."

He stood up, his demeanor undergoing a whole one-eighty-degree switch. Before he could take another step, you rose from your seat and pulled him back. 

"Fucking hell, Seongje." you seethed. "Are you serious?" 

"Date?" 

"Finish your activities first."

With that, he grinned deviously, enjoying his victory over you.

tag section.

@pookynknowntranger @hoshzz @wagawana @iquietone @yuuuumii @ruruyiin @kunikei

[fluidstatick]

I just started watching Trauma Dump with Lou Wilson, and Y'all, it needs to be said, this is GENIUS.

Trauma!Lou is the inverse of Host!Vic on VIP. He's unserious, glib, flippant. He's dedicated to creating Sick Rad Dope Fun Mental Health Content. He's a Walking Facade of Party Energy, approaching the deeply personal process of self discovery with no sense of transparency or gravitas whatsoever.

Anyone who's seen Lou in anything - Dropout, Crit Role, WBN, even Kimmel - knows he's a damn good actor and a magnetic personality. This project tests our understanding of Lou and asks us what we think we're seeing.

Vic said in an interview (which I can't find now, unfortunately) that they've encountered people who believe Host!Vic is the real Vic, and they have to explain that just because a character has their name doesn't mean it's Really Them. VIP is improv, but there's two comedians bouncing off each other in that environment. By contrast, Trauma Dump is also improv, but Lou's the only actor on set. Paul is, presumably, just doing his job. (unless he's an actor playing a therapist, but that's a whole different level of meta I'm not equipped to dig into here.)

The premise is awkward in its own right: Lou says he wants to get profound, but then dodges like his life depends on it. Paul is certainly taking the situation seriously; he's not sure whether he's meant to find Lou's behavior funny or not. It's tonally bizarre in a way that rhymes with VIP but also subverts the expectations of improv. You can already see the confusion in youtube comments, two hours or so after the stream. "This whole thing is a bit, right?"

This bit's game, to borrow a term from improv, is the gap between Lou and Paul, and How Lou works to maintain the gap while Paul works to close it. How much of Trauma Dump is Paul using his expertise on a fictional character, and how much of it is actually catching The Actor Lou Wilson off guard?

Actors put pieces of themselves into the characters they play; their perspectives and experiences. It's part of the mechanism of acting. Therapists remove their personal biases and feelings from their work environments; it's part of the mechanism of therapy. With these facts in mind, where are the lines? Where does Lou Wilson (sick rad awesome fun PTSDTF bro) end, and Lou Wilson (Actor and Human Person Who Exists) begin? We genuinely don't know, and that's what makes it an incredible soup of funny, scary, surreal, and magnetic.

I really, really hope this turns into a series.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x19, "kids"

or the one where cameron's absence is so obvious that it causes a meningitis outbreak.

i'm qualifying this one as another stepping-stone episode for me, personally. i liked a lot of pieces of it, and obviously we get some major plot movement with cameron and house at the end, but i think we've entered Full Speed Ahead to the finale atp.

we open and close 1x19 with house and cameron, offering us a framed narrative that gets punched straight through at the end when cameron makes her shocking demand: a date! that's what it will take to get her back into PPTH. even without any foreknowledge, we can safely assume it's a loaded request with some pretty disastrous results incoming. but still, i have to say - i really hated this.

i see the plot and character resonance here. if i'm pretending like i haven't seen the resulting date (which i don't hate, despite disagreeing with the initial premise here), i still understand that a "date" will function more like a forced confrontation/dissection between 2 characters who have been struggling against the social norms of Having A Crush. it's not a role that either performs well, so good for cameron for trying to find a middle-ground, i suppose, but i sincerely can't get past the 2000s tv of it all. surely there could have been a more interesting way to do it. it's one house md's most daring attempts at breaking and/or redefining a trope, and i think this time it just falls flat.

i wish we didn't get to know cameron through this season-long dynamic with house, and i cannot wait for the deeper forays we get next season. i apologize for that negativity lol i just had to come clean about it. my patience has all but worn thin for this saga between them.

though i did like the visual representation of cameron being unable to progress forward by running in place on a treadmill to open the episode. she wasn't really going anywhere, was she?

as well as how house's acquiescence (HEAVY on the acquiescence) to her demands to come back mirrored how he asked her why she liked him. there are always bits and pieces to be appreciated, even amidst what i'd call rubble lol.

BUT! cameron's absence from this episode was very impactful in a way that i really enjoyed. after flubbing another attempt at soothing things between them, house is confronted with his worst nightmare: a clinic full of people who genuinely need his attention. watching chase and foreman fumble around, lacking the sensitivity that cameron carries so naturally in her practice, was an odd moment of solidarity between them, especially when they were so thrilled when house relieved them.

no such solidarity exists long term, however, since house dials his beef with chase up to 11. to me, it felt as if he was preaching cameron's noble high-road tendencies to chase, but vindictively, thus missing the point, when he forces chase to go through a medical glossary throughout the episode. of course it doesn't take - nobody can be like cameron, despite house's greatest wishes. house even dismisses the ingenuity of one of chase's ideas, which gets him the most upset, in the same way that cameron's ideas were often dismissed.

overall, he's clearly goading chase to crack and lash out in anger, like he's been so quick to do lately, and though chase gets increasingly aggravated, he maintains his cool.

i also really enjoyed the subtle callback to chase being raised catholic. he's replaced a bible for a medical textbook, replaced a stringent teacher and/or father with his surrogate father figure, who so happens to be the figurehead of chase's career in medicine, analogous to a church. good stuff.

it's wilson's preaching that breaks through to house on 2 fronts, both of which implicate cameron in the scene i've already mentioned. during fruitless interviews, it's very clear that house is looking for nobody but cameron, a way that he can a) preserve his normal and b) be around cameron, ofc, because he likes/cares for her. superficially, wilson is motivating house to be honest with cameron for once so he can stop indulging his habit of pushing people away.

but wilson also makes the point to broaden the conversational horizons (love you and your moralizing platitudes, honey). he clarifies that house has "a history" of pushing people away and that he's talking about "every woman you've ever given a damn about!" in the face of house's jabs over perfection, he warns that "you're gonna wind up alone, house."*

this speech doesn't solve the problem entirely, ofc, but it points house in the right direction, and he finds solace/confirmation of his next steps in the patient, mary. mary is steeling herself in the face of horrifying circumstances - being traumatically pregnant at 12 years old - and insists that her parents, her team, don't need to know what she's going through. house preserves her privacy, but sees her give in to her parents just before he goes back to cameron's house:

house sees the strength in mary and, due to this show's hilarious habit of equating life-altering medical trauma to petty interpersonal issues, is inspired to be honest and "ask for help" in his own way. with that in mind, i like what house brings to the table when he returns to cameron. he's reflected and grown and saved a kid's life along the way. the understanding that, though he may technically be strong enough to subsist alone, he doesn't always have to, is pretty profound. too bad he won't hang onto it lol.

i need to shout out cuddy, like always, for 1) managing this absolute hellacious situation in her hospital; 2) putting up with house and wilson's shit the entire time; and 3) immediately understanding the urgency when house explains that the patient is bleeding into her brain and forcing open an operating room for her. i love that cuddy's strong instincts are such an integral part of her character, such that i find myself taking them for granted sometimes.

overall? neat episode. again i apologize for the splurge of negativity in there. i like what the house/cameron arc says for them by its end, but it is Taking Too Long for me.

major hilson posting below (i would put another 'read more' section break if i could!):

*okay so what's crazy about the "you're gonna wind up alone, house" exchange is not that it ends up being just NEARLY true, but wilson's emphasis on women. idc if i'm grasping at straws that haven't even been manufactured yet because it's still season 1. in the conversation, they're talking around each other; wilson is trying to pin house down amidst all his attempts at obfuscating, but wilson is physically moving through the scene, working, driving the dialogue:

i have made MANY posts (lots during my live blogging era) of how house and wilson often invert visual shot compositions/dynamics. in their case, usually whoever is seated and looking up is in charge of the conversation, and the person trailing behind is usually the subject of the conversation (think 4x14). and here's how the conversation plays out (with some omissions for brevity):

"you always find some tiny little flaw to push people away."

"...when i do decide to push you away, i hope there's a small person kneeling behind you so you fall down and hit your head." this is crazy btw. think of all the people house subsumes in wilson's life.

"you had the perfect person. and you blew it."

"cameron is so not perfect."

"well nobody's perfect."

wilson being house's imperfect "good side" holds weight here. nobody is perfect, admitted by the faulty personification of that perfection meant to contrast house at every turn but, again, forever failing in that regard. even visually the roles have been assigned - wilson's prestine white coat vs. house's sloppy black coat.

we have also now firmly established that these 2 have seen each other thru many failed relationships, and in an episode defined by the loss of one (house's relationship to cameron), i think this is relevant. in a conversation about house's tendency to remove people from his life, the audience has a subtle laugh about how these 2 seem to be eternal friends despite that tendency, and it's wilson who genders things. wilson introduces the subject of women, even though they interviewed a male candidate earlier.

what i'm getting at is that wilson is house's perfect person, of course. i think 1x19 builds a funny, unimportant setup for this subtextual joke really well, actually, but if i break my own rules and invite outside context into this post, this joke stands the test of time.

[madgastronomer]

The usual claim that's countering is that in medieval Europe, it was common for women to marry that young. And this perception is due to noblewomen being contracted to marry very young. But regular people mostly didn't, by the records we have.

You seem to be trying to counter a claim about one time period and continent with information about a completely different time period and continent. Now, I'm all for responding to the phrase "in the past" with "what past? where? when?" and nailing it down to make a point. I like precision of language.

But a lot of those posts and comments and what-have-you do make it clear when and where they're talking about. And your post exists in the context of those posts, as well.

Child brides absolutely have been and sometimes still are a thing in Appalachia (the state of marriage laws in some states are appalling). And also in some non-Appalachian US states. I'm sure if I could be bothered to go digging through my family's genealogy I'd find several, because a lot of them were Appalachian.

And, it must be said, calling attention to places and periods other than fucking medieval Europe is a noble quest. So go you! Thank you for that part!

But like. There is also a mismatch here.

“people didn’t actually get married at 15 in the past” maybe not where you’re from but in the rural US that is a persistent trend I witness in the historical record.

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 part 5

I had waken up to an empty bed. Which is alarming because I was in Chris's bed and had fell asleep with him in it. I grab my phone off of the nightstand and check my messages.

Jackson hadn't even crossed my mind until now, when I read his message asking where I was at. I don't answer because I'm more curious of where Chris was.

I get up and walk out to the living room hoping to see him out there. And when I realize he's not at the house I get even more confused and curious. He didn't mention last night anything about having to leave early.

I text Madi to ask if she's awake and I hear footsteps coming down the hallway shortly after. "Hey girl good morning" she says. "Hey have you seen Chris?" I ask. Her body language changes, becoming almost unsettled.

"Yeah, he left. But he didn't really say much before leaving" she said kind of hesitantly. "Oh" I responded quietly. "When did he leave?" I questioned. "Like 2 hours ago I think" she said uncertain.

She watches me, noticing my energy change quickly. "He'll be back girl don't overthink" she said. I nod my head and sit down on the couch. "I actually need to leave I have some stuff to do" I said. "You sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?" She asks. And I declined the offer feeling to anxious to eat.

"Well I can have Matt give you a ride home" she voiced. "No it's okay" I said. "He can take you he has to go to the store anyways" she insisted. And a few seconds later she disappeared down the hallway.

Shortly after she came back out to the living room, followed by Matt. I give Madi a hug and head out to Matt's car.

"You okay?" he asked as we got into his vehicle. I shake my head. "You don't look to sure" he said. "I'm okay I just- I don't know" I respond. "It's Chris isn't it" Matt assumed, very much correctly. "Yeah" I responded quietly.

Matt let out a deep breath. "He disappears sometimes. It's just something he does" Matt explained. "Why?" I questioned. "Did he say what he was doing or going?" I continued to ask. Matt shakes his head. "He'll come around, don't worry about it too much" Matt says trying to reassure me.

"Listen I know you and him are friends and all, but I just want you to be cautious" Matt says continuing to keep his eyes on the road. "What do you mean by that?" I asked. "I love my brother, I really do. It's just he can be complicated in certain aspects. All I'm saying is to be careful" Matt spoke.

And after him telling me that I stayed silent the rest of the ride. When I got home I finally texted Jackson back. I told him I spent the night at my friends house and hoped he wouldn't be mad about it. I waited for a couple hours hoping Chris would text me and he never did.

Jackson had texted me asking why I was staying at my friends house so much recently. And I couldn't come up with a good enough reason other than the fact that I wanted to be around Chris. So I didn't respond, I went to sleep instead.

The next day went by slowly. I had hungout with Jackson just to be ignored as he scrolled on his phone for endless hours. It was either his phone or he would play video games on his Xbox. And with Jackson barely acknowledging my existence despite being in the same room as him, it led me to anxiously thinking about Chris for hours.

I think back to when me and Chris were on his bed, when he had caressed my face. My body had almost felt like it was floating.I dont even know how to describe it. I don't know if it was some type of tension between us but it had me me think way too much.

It had made me feel confused. It was like I had been so affected by Chris in a way that I had never been by Jackson. And it made me wonder if that was wrong.

And as much as I felt confused by it, I felt like I wanted it to happen again. I felt close to Chris, like we had a genuine bond. He was my friend, and I cared about him. I wanted to be around him, in his presence.

And when I was thinking about the moment on his bed with him, I felt guilty. Not because we crossed a line or did anything, but because a part of me deep down almost felt as if I wanted something to happen.

And right then and there, when that thought had crossed my mind I felt ashamed. I was in a relationship with Jackson. And I cared about Jackson. I would never cheat on him, ever.

I had got tired of thinking so much so I had scrolled on my phone for hours and listened to music. Anything to make sure I couldn't form a single thought.

It had now been 2 days since I heard from Chris and I had started to worry so much that I felt sick. It was about 6 pm when I had got tired of feeling like shit so I fell asleep.

2 hours later I wake up to Katie shaking me out of my sleep. "Y/n wake the fuck up" she said urgently. As soon as I gained consciousness my body went into fight or flight mode.

'What! Whats going on!" I yelled, heart beating fast. "There's a man at the door asking to see you" she said. "I don't know who it is but he's cute, hurry I told him I was gonna come get you" she said rushing me to get up.

I walked quickly to the front door and opened it. "Chris?". He looked at me with a sorry look on his face. "You can come in if you want" I offered, hoping he would come inside. After a few seconds he followed me inside and into my room.

Him and I sat on my bed. "Im sorry" he immediately said. "I don't know what happened I just needed time to think" he explained. "Time to think about what?" I asked. "Nothing, im just sorry" he said.

"You had me so worried, I didn't know where you went. I didn't know if you were okay" I said clearly still concerned. "I am I just- I'm sorry but I don't really want to talk about it" he expressed. "Why? Did I do something?" I asked, not understanding why he wouldn't open up to me. "No, you didn't do anything I promise" he said looking away from me before grabbing onto my hand and squeezing it lightly.

Thick silence fell between us. "I missed you" he said quietly with my hand still in his. "I missed you too" I replied quietly, still concerned and confused. But I didn't want to push it, if he didn't want to tell me what was wrong I wasn't gonna force him to.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. I couldn't really read his energy even when I so badly wanted to. "Can I hug you?' he asked. I nodded and he pulled my body into his. The hug lasted longer than what it normally would, as if he was trying to tell me something without using his words.

He had finally let go, and looked back at my face as if he was relieved. "You able to hangout for awhile?" I asked him. "Yeah".

We had sat and talked for a bit. And when he told me we should go on a walk I agreed. Fresh air sounded good.

Chris's POV:

I had ran, doing the one thing I told myself not to do. When I had waken up to y/n sleeping in my bed that morning it scared me. It hurt me. Because I knew that even though she was in my bed, she would have to wake up and go back home and see Jackson.

I wanted nothing more than to stay in that bed with her. But I had fallen so deeply into my own thoughts, which caused me to run. I had went and stayed at my friend Nate's house for 2 days before convincing myself to come back and talk to her.

Me and y/n that night had stayed up talking for hours about a variety of things. I had never sat and talked about childhood stories or about my family with a girl. I had never opened up like that to anyone before. It fucking frightened me.

And I knew she was probably worried and confused on why I had left. But I knew that it was getting harder to pretend. To pretend like I was okay with her going back to Jackson. To pretend that I could only feel for her as a friend. To pretend that what I felt for her was deeper than what I had expected to feel.

I wanted to tell her so bad. That I hated feeling things for people because I couldn't regulate my emotions properly. I didn't know how to control them at times, even when I needed to the most. I hated being vulnerable, but it was different with her.

Feeling things in general was hard enough, but feeling what I felt for her was scary. It was so risky for me. And I know I was selfish for ghosting her for those 2 days. But it was like a habit of mine that was hard to break free from.

I knew that leaving her was wrong. It made me feel extremely guilty. I was scared of losing her when she wasn't even mine to begin with. But I couldn't bring myself to just give up on being friends with her. I had talked myself into showing up at her house.

We talked for a bit before I asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She had agreed and we proceeded to walk around with no destination in mind. And I didn't care as long as she was next to me.

Y/n POV:

The walk was quiet. But I didn't care, as long as he was next to me. "You okay?" he asked out of the blue. "Yeah. Just thinking" I responded. "About what?" he had asked curiously. "I don't know to be honest. My mind has kind of been all over the place recently" I admitted.

"Well if you want to talk about anything I'm here" Chris said reassuring me. I didn't respond as we kept walking next to each other.

I had gasped at the sight of a beautiful cat that was walking towards us. "Come here kitty" I said excitedly. The cat walked right up to us and I bent down to pet it. "Your such pretty baby" I said softly to the cat.

Chris had started to rub my head as I was bent over petting the cat. It felt like a sweet moment. "The cat is almost as pretty as you" Chris said continuing to stroke my hair. His words made me shiver. "the cat is almost as pretty as you".

After a bit the cat had wandered off and we had ended up walking back to my house.

I was laying on my bed, Chris sitting next to me staring off into space. "Chris" I said. He looked over at me with tired eyes. "Yeah?" He asked.

My phone started buzzing, Jackson's calling. I look at the phone and then at Chris who looks as if he's trying mask disappointment. Or maybe defeat.

And before I grab my phone, Chris reaches for it quickly. "Give it back" I demanded. With my phone in his hands he puts it has high as he can in the air. He smiles and shakes his head. I crawl over to him, reaching for my phone. "Chris this isn't funny give it back" I complained.

He laughs watching me struggle to reach the phone in his hands as he holds it in the air as high as he can. I crawl on top of him, reaching for the phone. I finally was able to grab it but not before the phone stopped ringing.

I didn't realize the way I was practically straddled onto Chris’s lap until now. He grabs onto my hips softly, and looks down at how our bodies are so close together.

My heart fastened as his hands are still placed on my hips. He looks back up at me, and he swallowed hard while looking uneasy. I can feel my face heat up, a pink tint coming across my cheeks.

"Sorry I wasn't really paying attention I was just trying to get my phone" I said, feeling his hands still placed on my hips. "It's okay" he says quietly, his eyes flicking between my eyes and lips.

A few seconds of silence and staring into eachothers eyes pass before I hear my phone ding. I quickly get off of Chris's lap and check my message.

Jackson's upset I didn't answer his phone call. I would have answered if Chris hadn't snatched my phone from me. I text Jackson back and make up some dumb excuse of why I didn't respond.

Chris gets up off the bed and grabs his phone that's on my nightstand. "I should go it's getting late" he said. Chris's energy has shifted, I'm not entirely sure to what but he seems to be masking how he's really feeling.

"Don't leave" I blurt out without thinking. Chris looks at me as if he's confused. "Just stay the night" I said letting out a deep breath. Chris is still standing there, almost as if he's frozen. "Please" I said desperately.

"And your boyfriend- he's okay with me being here?" Chris asked, already knowing the answer to his own question. "If you don't want to stay you don't have to" I said.

A few seconds pass before Chris sits down back on my bed. Every time I was around him, I felt like I never had enough time.

And yeah, I know it could seem bad to want Chris to stay with me, putting my phone on silent so that way I couldn't hear Jackson blowing up my phone. But I didn't care at the moment.

I wanted to be around Chris, maybe a little too much. But he was my friend, the closest friend I had since I met Katie. The friendship I had with Chris was secure, and comforting.

Jackson would throw a fit if he knew Chris and I were friends. He would throw an even bigger fit if he knew how many times I've hungout with Chris, or that I had stayed the night with Chris. Or that Chris was about to stay the night with me.

And maybe I should feel guilty, or ashamed. I should feel upset at myself for not getting off Chris's lap more quickly earlier. I should feel bad for liking when I feel a weird slight tension between me and Chris.

And maybe I am reading too far into things. Maybe when Chris compliments me he's just being friendly. Maybe him placing his hands on my hips, seemingly wanting to hold me in place as if he didn't want me to get off of him, was just him being friendly.

I knew Chris was my friend. I knew that I would never cheat on Jackson. But I also knew I felt more like myself around Chris more than I ever did with Jackson. And that weighed on my mind more times than I could count.

And as me and Chris sit on my bed, staring at each other nothing else mattered. All that mattered was that Chris was here with me. And as long as he was next to me I could be content. I could be myself, and I could breathe without feeling guilty for existing.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli @nessaisabelartemas333

[ghasel]

💞 tarot pick a pile - Meet Your Soulmate 💌

[image description: the three piles, each with their respecive number]

Hi! If you don't know me, I'm Ghasel, a witch who does tarot and past lives readings!

This is my weekly half and half reading, which means that the first part will be in this post for free and the second part will be on my patreon for the members (a membership is 2$ and you get one extended or extra reading per week, basically 0.50$ per reading!). As always, though, if you do not wish to spend money, this free reading is accessible as a standalone too!

Today we are meeting one of your soulmates! Our soulmates, or soul family members, can have all the types of relationships with us, so don't think only romantic! In this free reading we will meet your soulmate and see who and how they are, then on patreon we will receive a message from them to you!

Reminder: whatever the cards and your soulmates say, you're not forced to do anything. The responsibility and the freedom for your choices are always 100% yours!

How to use this reading: pick the pile that attracts you/resonates with you/calls for you, then scroll down and read the respective reading!

Where to find me: my kofi my patreon my instagram DM always open for chats and readings!

pile 1

[image description: a tarot, a zodiac oracle and a crystal cards shown and three other tarot cards covered; on these there's the text "unveil this cards and receive the message from your soulmate on my patreon!"]

9 of wands in reverse → your soulmate is someone who knows how to work hard, but is not really interested in working to perfect one specific thing and they rather explore and see more different things - knowing more in quantity rather than going deep in one thing; they may have developed this attitude after they spent quite a lot having no other chance than working hard and continuously, so now they have devoted themselves to see and explore what they couldn't explore once; a jack of all trades master of none, but who knows that sometimes doing something different not only can open your mind and deepen your knowledge, but is also a privilege, because you have the conditions to do such

jupiter (18)→ this is the card of expansion, of knowledge and wanting to discover more, of curiosity and of learning about new things for no reason other than they exist; your soulmate seems a wise soul, someone who learned something - on the personal or human level - while discovering and exploring more; it makes me think about visiting a foreign country and learn a philosophy that makes you think about your own life too;nowadays your soulmate has very clear ideas about their thoughts and beliefs but at the same time part of this ideas are to believe that you can always change your mind - they're sure, but they also keep their mind open for anything new they may learn and may add to their personal baggage

rose quartz (48) → your soulmate is a lover, but for life; they love life and love and want to enjoy it and they may be a firm believer of the fact that we're born to be happy and fullfilled; they always strive for more - exploring more, learning more - but at the same time it's not like they're unhappy with what they have and have explored right now; they have a genuine curiosity for learning and exploring, they don't do that to day they know more than others, but because it's genuinely what they like to do, so they keep doing it whenever possible; they may be one of those people who make friends after like one day in a new place; possibly very community oriented;

READ NOW THEIR MESSAGE FOR YOU!

pile 2

[image description: a tarot, a zodiac oracle and a crystal cards shown and three other tarot cards covered; on these there's the text "unveil this cards and receive the message from your soulmate on my patreon!"]

7 of coins in reverse → they were a guardian of something, not in the sense of keeping something at bay but in the sense of keeping something safe; they may have been a patrolling soldier or a high priest/priestess who took care of the communication with nature and spirits for their group; they may also be a very old soul, someone who has learned a lot and is now more aware than sometimes we're scared of things that aren't really scary or dangerous; they know the feeling of being nervous so well and they may have experienced the nerve wrecking experience of wanting to do something, but being scared/nervous because it wasn't what everyone did and wanted for them; at the same time I feel that they were lucky and they had a lifetime in which people around them understood them - they weren't like them, but loved them enough to want them to live as and for themselves (especially a female figure, perhaps a mother); they may have been one of the few people to leave their birth community to go somewhere else

the moon (14) → this card makes me think that this soulmate is presenting themselves as a woman, but it's not necessary; they are someone who knows their shit, they reflect a lot, but even more, they interrogate themselves and are very introspective; they know that to go on in the best and easiest way they need to be balanced with themselves and this means facing every issue and every doubt as soon as they arise; this soulmate may also be very prone to psychic abilities or generally speaking to magic and witchcraft; i don't feel that they are a witch, i feel that they're more someone who has the same knowledges witches and spiritual practitioners have, but isn't walking the path of a witch; they have the knowledge, but they don't call/feel themselves a witch, because their dream and path is something different

spessartine garnet (53) → they are an unicum; as true as it is that no human (or soul) is an island, your soulmate knows themselved intimately and in the detail; they have a clear concept about who they are and what they want and everything they do is according and for it; their soul may really be older than most - so they have had more experience - or they had one specific lifetime in which they have been this type of person - and this is how they're coming through now

p.s. i asked the pendulum if this soulmate is a spirit guide of yours and said no, but i think it's very possible that they're coming through as the person they have been in a specific past life - perhaps with you, perhaps without you

READ NOW THEIR MESSAGE FOR YOU!

pile 3

[image description: a tarot, a zodiac oracle and a crystal cards shown and three other tarot cards covered; on these there's the text "unveil this cards and receive the message from your soulmate on my patreon!"]

7 of wands → they value knowledge, but at the same time they're not too strict on what they know and what they don't; they forgive themselves if they are not aware of something and they think that the most important thing is to act according to your values once you know; they may be a heavy researcher, someone with their nose always stuck in a book (or in a wikipedia loophole), and they probably are the type of person who learns for fun, the curious type that goes on a tangent about something that they will never need to know in their concrete life; they also are a bright person, someone whose curiosity has not been minimized by the idea that some things are "childlike": they do what they want, they learn what they want and they probably live their life in their own, unique way; there's the energy of a jester, in a sense, doing in adulthood something that some think it's childish - I don't think they were a jester, tho

libra (7) → they care about justice and even if people around them may not realize, they do have a strict personal moral and ethical code; they seem to be doing things randomly, but actually everything has a meaning - and sure, sometimes the meaning is only bc they're curious, but that's still a reason! They seem to be completely careless, but actually they put thought in what they do and they avoid doing what goes against their values and their morals; they may actually happen to have a stronger sense of justice than most people

euclase (23) → they are a strong soul; again, it may not seem at all, but they are a more well rounded person than many people who look like they have their shit together, but actually are just going with the flow without thinking for themselves; this soulmate has a bit of shakesperean fool energy, they're the ones who can tell the truth to the king, meaning that they are known as someone different, so they can be completely and authentically themselves with no issues because people expect it from them; they may also be wiser than they seem and they may use sometimes their reputation as someone unserious to … make things go exactly like they want

READ NOW THEIR MESSAGE FOR YOU!

[revon-breaks-free]

CHIRIN MENTION CHIRIN MENTION CHIRIN MENTION CHIRINNMENTUIN THATS MY FAV MOVIE THATS MY ART KEYSTONE CHIRJNWMENBISUNE

Ok. Ok I'm normal now.

As a fellow transmasc who has. Way overanylized this film, I totally agree. Although I'd love to live in a world where trans people are always trans in a fun way and they always have been, but we sure don't live like that. Shit happens.

Sometimes being a sheep is so terrifying that the idea of staying that way and remaining a target and vulnerable by just existing, being born into a position where it is affirmed constantly that you are at major risk of being hurt or killed or worse. A position that feels uncomfortable for reasons beyond that you cant explain. And if you stray outside of it it will be even worse for you. It Will make you want to leave. It will make you Want to find a way to never be hurt the way you saw it in your former peers. The peers that dont feel like the same as you. If you don't see a way out of a system, you just need to join the right role. You have to become a wolf.

But that hurts too. It hurts worse. Fitting into this box you're not used to hurts. All the training and preparing and the adjusting makes you wonder if this is really what you wanted. If it even matters at all. If it's supposed to feel like this.

But you look at your reflection. And you're strong. And sharp. And you're not vulnerable. And there's... there's something else there. Under the raggedy coat and the mangled blades on your head. Something about your shape and stature. It's better. It's not like a sheep. It's easier to move in. To live in. To look at.

And then you realize all over again that the way you changed was wrong. The world that told you you were vulnerable just made you into it's weapon again. You're not you. You're a wolf. But you're not. You still see your own eyes in the sheep. Your own fear. Even if neither of you see the same animal.

You're neither. Nobody can tell if you're a sheep-like wolf or a wolf-like sheep. Including you. You don't know which part of you is the whole. You don't know which hurts less.

The main difference is the ending. This film was made in the 70s, and the book in the 60s. In Japan, no less. If you became an outcast, it was over. Even if it wasn't your fault. Even if you were a child, even if it's more looked down upon for the vulnerable to become sharp than for them to just die. To be traumatized into changing is a tragedy, and nothing more.

But even then, and especially now, that's not true.

There is always somewhere. There is always someone who is like you. There is always something out there with your same form and your same scars, natural or not.

No experience is unique. Nobody is alone in how they feel.

Somewhere there's a ram who tries to file down their horns every day. Somewhere there's a wolf that longs for a thick, wooly coat. There's a mighty stag with sharp horns and a prey's mind. Somewhere there's another scared young sheep who can't go home. The mountains are never empty, and the winter is never endless.

All you have to do is live.

And then your coat will grow warm again, your horns will curl, you'll get more plump and less spindly. The color will return to your face. But you're still you. You're still not a sheep. And you're happy being wolflike.

do you wanna see my small transmasc headcanon and only headcanon for a ceru specific character

[sadeeeeee]

Hold Me Please

Angst with some comfort throughout

Pure fluff by the end

Established Relationships

(A little self-indulgent after a really bad day)

Warnings- one moment of swearing, mentions of depression, mental health and not feeling like enough

Synopsis- Chris comes over to check on you after you haven't been answering all day. He comes to find out just how bad things have been getting for you and comforts you through the storm in your head.

~

I lay my head up against the windowpane, watching the raindrops fall some faster than others and some slower almost like even the rains trying taunt me. This battle called life if you aren't deemed successful by a certain time by people who don't even matter - or maybe they do that's the worst part... you'll end up feeling like a failure. A feeling I know all too well now at this point.

I give a heavy sigh as I watch my phone light up with another message from Chris. I wanna answer back but every part of my body is exhausted. I don't even feel alive anymore at this point. I can't even bring myself to see what the message even said hence my surprise to hear knocking at my door and a very sweet familiar voice echo through my apartment.

"Baby it's me... I came to check on you I was getting worried since you haven't answered all day".

I begrudgingly get up and make my way down the hall to my front door I open the door just a crack to be met with a soft smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes no - worried eyes is all I can see. My heart aches knowing I made him so worried all day.

"Hey baby can I come in, I'm worried about you"?

I open the door wider and let him in. He places the bags he brought with him on my kitchen counter. He starts talking with his back turned emptying everything from each of the bags. "I thought maybe you were sick or something, so I got you some medicine and some of your fav-. As he turns around, he cuts himself off when he sees the tears brimming my already red eyes, I'm sure.

"Hey hey what's the matter what's going on" he asks calmly but with an obvious edge of concern. I struggle to get any words out every bad thought and past failures cone rushing to me all at once causing me to breakdown completely. He gently grabs me and holds on tightly. He wraps a hand around my waist squeezing tightly and places his other hand on the back of my head. Gently he sways us back and forth letting me cry into his shirt for who knows how long.

After some time, I stop crying and he pulls back just enough to see my face. "You wanna talk about it, you can tell me what's going on you know that". I pull away and walk over to the couch he follows after and sits close but close enough to still give me space.

"I don't even know where to start". "That's ok take your time I'm not going anywhere" he says as he gently takes hold of my hand.

I feel so lost like every day I'm just... here not even existing but, I try so hard to do everything right, but nothing ever feels like enough. Nothings ever enough for anyone. I feel like a failure I see everyone doing big things accomplishing so much I can't help but feel like somethings wrong with me. He listens intently and holds on to my every word. He doesn't speak not until I'm done, he always just listens always letting me be heard. "Every day just feels the same like I wake up with no purpose I'm just so tired Chris I don't know what to do anymore.

He looks into my eyes really looks at me like he's trying to memorize every part of my face before speaking up. "You don't have to have all your shit together". "Everyone feels like this at one point or another I know it may not feel like it but, its true". "Know that you have purpose, you're wanted and loved by so many". Now it's my turn to hold on to his every word. Each word feels like a tug on my heart like I'm closer to a fresh breath.

"There's a lot of loud noises but there's always a moment of calm or silence that can pull you out and that calm can be anything". "And when things feel like too much know, you can always call me I'll be there to help anyway I can even if it means just sitting with you in silence, I'll always be here for you baby". "I want you to know that you're not a failure far from it you're doing things at your own pace and that's ok there's no rule book to life - no guide on how to get everything right". He looks at me with somber eyes ones that hold pain but he's holding back wanting to make sure I'm ok.

There's this sinister semblance I've been indulging in. Not on purpose it's just how I've been living what I've always seen maybe I can pull away from it now slowly but surely. Maybe one day.

I look back up at him and fall into his touch. He immediately holds me impossibly closer, and he holds on tight - like if he were to let go, I'd wither away right then and there. "I just want to be happy, but I don't know how anymore". "It's ok we're not gonna be happy every day and know that's it's ok to not be happy or ok, it's ok to express those feelings too". "I'll be with you through every step helping you until you can feel content and happy again".

He kisses my temple so softly it's almost as if he didn't at all. He hugs me tighter and rubs my back in slow circles. We sit in each other's arms for the rest of the night. He said he wasn't going anywhere, and he meant it.

"I love you and you'll always be enough for me baby always remember that and if you ever forget I'll still be right here to remind you time after time.

There's almost like a break of air in the room like before he speaks up again in a whisper like if he speaks to loudly the world will crumble around us.

"You don't know how much you mean to me" he says while kissing all over my face. I crack a small smile, and he cracks one in return. He kisses the corner of my lips and whispers in between "this smile is what keeps me going so I'll do whatever it takes to keep it" he says with warm eyes and the softest smile.

I hug him back softly and bury my face in his neck and give a soft sigh. Not out of sadness or anxiety but because I know that even when I get my lowest I have him to pull out of that dark hole every time.

───✰✰✰✰✰─────✰✰✰✰✰──────✰✰✰✰✰─────

(A bit of a sad one, was feeling pretty bad last yesterday so thought I'd write it out in hopes of bringing myself some comfort. I don't know how I feel about this one but if you're feeling like this, I hope this could help in some way. Hope you all who reads this enjoy thank you for reading!!!)

[affogato-analysis]

Susie and freedom

Deltarune is consuming me, the symbolism around her is eating my brain and i love her to death. so, Susie.

spoilers ahead all the way to chapter 4's ending and potential speculations for the future.

I did write about that in a reblog like, two days or so ago but i wanted to detail it.

Susie is Freedom and it's so obvious.

she does not abide by the prophecy: there's the first switching side moment, when she decides to be a bad guy with Lancer instead of following the prophecy, there's also her asking Ralsei to take off his hood even though he's represented wearing it in the prophecy (could be linked to him not being the prince from the prophecy too). There's obviously the clear "we're not gonna let that happen" when she finds out about the prophecy's ending too and her refusal to accept the tragedy.

there's the freedom she brings to Kris by her friendship (see the actions that are so obviously theirs, like the drinks at church. see also the mirror dialogue "for some reason, seeing susie standing with you… You feel like things might actually be ok." (and yeah there's the whole question of who 'you' is in these lines but i'm pretty positive these are about Kris even if the Soul is in control).

there's the Dark World adventure where she constantly is the free and freeing one: in Lancer's castle, Noelle in Queen's tower, Toriel in chapter 3 and almost Undyne (she's certainly the one fighting the most out of her own freewill), then chapter 4 where she delivers a letter on Gerson's behalf to his son, therefore delivering one of his guilt and the other of his sense of duty (kinda, not exactly sure what to call it because insecurities feel too tame for what it is).

She also challenges the rules of the Dark World. In chapter 3, despite Tenna's comment on censorship, she can and does write ass as her name and has a "kiss the my ass" on her apron. Instead of just throwing Kris at the Titan at the end of chapter 4, she jumps with them, even if they are the only one able to seal the fountain. She learns a healing spell and refuses to give up despite not being meant to.

In the Light World, she's constantly defying expectations (see Alphys thinking Susie will make fun of her for her juice combo when she's just kinda curious about it) and also is the savior: she fights Berdly and Mayor Carol for Noelle's freedom. Also, in a way, since she's the one distracting Noelle, she's the one to give Kris freedom of action (or tries, because Kris does not have half a second's worth of freedom in this god forsaken game).

MEANING! the great power of contrast, Susie has so much more freedom than ANYONE ELSE. She fights for a lot of them though!

Kris is trapped by many things, including the Soul, that small town where they obviously don't fit anymore and that voice on the other side of the phone, and the promise they made. Which Susie fights every time: the freedom she brings through her friendship, the reaching them even at their worst (see the "Kris is surprisingly good at flirting" which stops them from their trying to murder the Soul and the mirror dialogue again).

Ralsei is dutifully abiding by the prophecy and unable to escape his role, at least partly because he doesn't try until Susie makes him (when he tells her he'll try to be more honest with her and Kris in the future in chapter 4). He doesn't even try to exist for himself ("we must not make the lightners worry", "i don't need a room") and every time she reaches out to tell him off (telling they're real friends, planning a surprise for him and trying to arrange him a room).

Noelle has her father at the hospital, her strict and potentially abusive mother, Berdly's creepy behavior towards her, her own expectations, even Queen's obsession to trap her. Susie fights all of these, by being there at the hospital (even if we bring her), telling her mother off, telling Berdly off and literally rescuing her out of Queen's grasp like a romance novel.

Herself. No one frees Susie. She breaks out of jail and the mold on her own, encouraged by her own will to do just that. She sees freedom and reaches for it, all on her own (well, we're with her, but she goes for it out of her own volition). She learns piano, her spelling is bad but she writes the letter for Gerson, she goes to church and immediately ditches the church clothes when she feels trapped in them.

I love her your honor, she is so brave.

And yeah, that opens an entire conversation about can she subvert the prophecy or is it going to catch up with her dramatically? Is she even the girl from the prophecy? Can Ralsei and Kris escape the prophecy? Can Kris and the Soul escape each other? (because we also did not choose Kris. We specifically didn't choose Kris actually, but our vessel was discarded.) And from there, we expand to the rest of the Light World: can Kris and Susie escape their own backgrounds and families, can they grow past their circumstances, can she lift Kris up the same way she does when they're climbing, offering a safe spot and tossing them up towards greater heights?

Or is this all going to end in tears with the prophecy overpowering her freedom? 'cause i would cry so bad

[nevermore-mourn-official]

I don't know how Merry convinced me this was a good idea

This blog is run by Headmaster Mourn of Nevermore Academy. I accept inquiries, as I'm sure you would have questions about how this all works.

-Rules and guidelines-

• I will be assigning merits and demerits where I see fit.

• No NSFW asks. I know how utterly.. repulsive you students can be. I will be having none of that on my blog.

• No trauma dumping in my askbox. I say this for the same reasons as Merry.

• No fastpass spoilers. They ruin the game. I may know many things, but the future is not one of them. (mod is not a fastpasser)

• I will do my best to not act oddly, or as some might say, "out of character", but I am only supernatural, and thus I may make "characterization" mistakes from time to time.

😒//

Feel free to ask me about (almost) anything and everything!

Also feel free to tell on the students (and Merry) so I can give them demerits!

Note that I will try my best to act in character, which will most likely result in scolding and/or giving demerits.

Please just block this blog if it makes you uncomfortable.

Dividers:

@sisterlucifergraphics

@bernardsbendystraws

Nevermore rp blogs-

Staff:

Dean Merry- 0 @nevermore-merry-official

Poppet- 0 @your-favorite-teacher-poppet

Dolly- 0 @nevermores-only-nurse

The Wisps- 0 @wispsofthenevermoreacademy

?The Kid who is totally not in our basement- 0 @a-boy-in-a-void

Students:

-Misfits-

Lenore Vandernacht- 0 @lenorevandernacht

Duke Laurent- -10 @duke-laurent

Pluto- 0 @purr-of-smoke

Eulalie- 0 @imtheghostnow

Berenice- -5 @berenicenevermore

?Morella- 0 @angel-in-green

-Clusterfucks-

Annabel Lee Whitlock- 0 @annabelleewhitlock

Ada Lovelace- 0 @adaa-lovelace

Will- 0 @diary-of-a-willy-kid

Will doppelganger?- 0 @wontwilson-realwilliam

Prospero- 0 @rats-of-death

-Other students-

The Manor Girls- 0 @victemsoffical

Theo Vandernacht- 0 @theo-vandernacht

Animals:

Prospero's Rats- 0 @rats-who-eat-you

Prospero's other Rats- 0 @squeak-squeak-bitch

The Stag- 0 @youcantrunfromthewildhunt

The Hounds- 0 @theloyalhoundsofthewildhunt

The Raven- 0 @a-raven-thats-not-so-raven

Aristro Cat Catterina?- 0 @aristro-cat-catterina

Worthless Mutt- 0 @a-worthless-mutt

Flashback Characters:

Prospero's mother- 0 @motheroftheratman

Montresor's Mother- 0 @blessedangel666

Luca- 0 @way2rich4this

Egaeus- 0 @egaeus-exists

Johnny- 0 @johnny-kicking-up-dust

Sallie- 0 @the-kansas-kutie

Thomas- 0 @mastertamerlanethomas

Percy?- 0 @teaandcheckmates

[miss-artimis-has-thoughts]

This Idea continues to live in my head so have some more.

-

Bruce was frustrated and concerned. Dick had called for a code three emergency family meeting, civilian issues not to do with hiding their night time activities. Which could mean anything from one of his children had a crush to someone had a terminal illness. Dick had given no additional information as to what type of emergency it was or who it involved. Pretty much the only guarantee was that the world was not ending. By the time Bruce got to the cave Tim and Jason were the only ones missing. Dick was typing away at a computer screen hidden from view. He looked up as he heard Bruce approach. As soon as Bruce saw Dick’s face he felt his frustration and concern quickly melt into worry bordering on panic. Dick looked absolutely devastated. He suddenly looked so much like that lost little boy Bruce had first met at the circus that night so many years ago.

As Bruce opened his mouth to start demanding answers Dick held up his hand to stop him. “We are waiting for everyone to be here,” He sounded just as bad as he looked. He had cried. Something was very wrong. “We're just waiting on Jason.” The moment he processed that sentence Bruce’s stomach dropped. “What about Tim? Where is he?” Dick looked away, “That's why we're here. There's something we need to talk about before we confront him.”

"Confront" that word held so many implications behind it. It said secrets and lies. It said arguments that lead to rage or resolution. It said something is very, very wrong.

Bruce looked around at his other children and wondered what this could possibly be. He didn't have to ponder long as Jason soon pulled in to the cave. As soon as Jason had settled into the group Dick started talking and Bruce quickly realized that he was wrong, because his world certainly felt like it was ending at the reality that he had a son in law. Grandkids. He was a grandfather and he had no idea. He looked up at the faces of these family members he didn't know existed and wondered how this had happened.

-

Tim felt nervous. He had always felt awkward asking for things, the looming fear of rejection. Leftover instincts from his parents' expectations. But he also knew better than to feel that way with Danny. He knew that if Danny said no to him it wasn't a rejection of him as a person. He completely understood all of Danny's reasons to not want to go to the family day, even beyond the ones he had explained to Diana. That knowledge didn't make it any easier. “Hey, love,” He asked as he knocked on the doorframe of Danny's office “got a second?” Danny looked up from his blueprints and smiled that smile that melted every tension in his body. “For you? Always.” Tim laughed as he walked over and sat on the edge of the desk. “I was talking with Diana today and she reminded me that the Justice League's annual family day is in a couple of months. She asked if I was going to bring you or the twins or both. I told her I wasn't sure but I would talk to you.” Danny looked down. His brows furrowing the way they did when he was thinking to hard about something. Tim reacted like he always did to get Danny out of his own head and poked him right where the skin creased between his eyebrows. He blinked in that same confused way he does every time I knock him out of his thoughts and looked up at me.

“We actually might be able to go this year,” he said. “I mean it will depend on how quickly I get it built because I want to test it for at least a month before we decide to rely on it, especially in space. Not that I don't trust the leagues tech but if the zetas break and were so far from home and…I'm rambling, aren't I. Sorry.” Tim chuckled at his husband's blush. “What were you talking about building?” he asked.

Danny showed him a blueprint. It was clearly modeled after devices for diabetes. He explained that it would pull natural ectoplasm from the air and filter it for the twins. No injections needed. It would make it so they could live normally and travel more than an hour from one of the family labs. Tim leaned in to kiss his husband “Danny this is amazing!”

A thought that's been bouncing in my head this post but dead tired.

-

As Dick was walking back to the zeta tubes in the watch tower after meeting with Wally, he did not expect his entire world view to be flipped on its head. It started with hearing the voice of one of his brothers and deciding to mess with him. Tim was in one of the lounge rooms talking with Diana, which gave Dick the perfect opportunity to pull him into the ongoing sibling prank war that he had somehow been avoiding. He waited outside the door, listening for the right moment when he heard the question.

"The league's family day is coming up. Will your husband and the twins be attending?" Dicks first thought was that he must have missed a third person in the room before he heard his brother response. "I don't know, the twins would love it, but Phantom is still wary about taking them too far from home in case they have a destabilization episode or a development in their powers."

Dick knew that the conversation continued, but he had stopped paying attention. Tim was married. He had kids. Did anyone know? Obviously, Wonder Woman did, but did anyone in the family? He needed to figure this out. He sent a message calling for a family meeting sans Tim to figure out what was happening

-

Tim had been stressed the past few days. He didn't say anything, but Danny could tell. So, when the twins went down for their nap, he made his husband a nice cup of tea, decaffeinated because a stressed Tim was a Tim that had been awake far too long. As he gave his husband the cup, he asked what was wrong. "The bats have been acting weird the last couple of days. It's made patrol really awkward. But I'm pretty sure it's a family thing, so it feels wrong to ask." Danny laughed "Ah the age-old dilemma of being the only nonfamily member working at a family business. Happens all the time in small towns like Amity. What do you think you'll do?" Tim sighed "Normally I would just ask Oracle, but she's being weird too. And I can't just ignore it because it's throwing us all off during patrol and that dangerous. I guess I'll just have to call a meeting to address it."

Danny hugged his husband, "I'm sorry, work is stressful, Starlight. You're not supposed to patrol tonight, right? How about you call in at your day job tomorrow and we have some family time? I've been researching this nature trail about half an hour from my parents' house. It's got some great outlooks that I think you would love to get pictures from. We could go through the zone and be at my parents' first thing in the morning."