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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year ago

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Pairing : college!ex-boyfriend!Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : MORE angst ; jealous Jisung ; fluffy ending though ; kind of suggestive ; Word Count : 1.2k Request : Anonny : OMG COLLEGE JISUNG WAS PAINFUL! You did such a great job with that one line he said outside the party. If requests are open, can I request an update on what happened during that week or after graduation? Nothing to be written out. I'm just so curious to know what happened to them! A/N : I know you said it doesn't have to be written out but I'm gonna write it out because my brain has way more to say than just a couple sentences!! I hope you enjoy!!

Roommates. It was weird for him. After 4 years of being so close to you, he had been bumped down to nothing but a roommate, and not even a roommate that you enjoyed living with. You avoided him at every turn, you didn’t talk to him, you didn’t even look at him.

Mornings where he’d wake up beside you, nuzzling his face into your neck as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, tired giggles filling the room as you unsuccessfully tried to move away from him… they were gone. He missed you, he missed every single moment that he used to share with you.

Soft kitchen kisses when you’d both stand in the kitchen making breakfast, your eyes barely opened as you almost burnt the pancakes and bacon. Quiet yawns as his arms held onto you, your body leaning back against him as you almost fell asleep in the comfort of his hold.

He had been demoted to the couch, and while he found some sort of bittersweet happiness in the scent of you that clung to the cushions, it wasn’t you. The sofa was cold without you beside him, he could barely even sleep, his eyes refusing to close completely knowing that you were there, you were so close but so far away. He hated it, he hated that he had caused this, and he feared that there was no way to go back.

3 days until graduation and you were going out more often, something that Jisung wasn’t used to happening. It almost felt like you were doing it just to escape him. You didn’t like leaving the house, and it’s not like you were going shopping, you would always come back empty handed with the biggest smile on your face.

It was a smile that he was familiar with, the same kind of smile you’d wear whenever you’d go on dates together, whenever you’d so much as see him on campus. You were happy to see him… And now it seemed like you were happy to be seeing someone else.

His phone went crazy with notifications about the parties that were happening every single night almost, leading up to graduation. He ignored all of them. Parties weren’t his thing… not anymore. The thought of being surrounded by so many people made his skin crawl, being surrounded by the people that he had tried so hard to impress… And he still couldn’t figure out for himself why their thoughts mattered so damn much.

Friends… If they were really his friends they would have respected you… No… They weren’t his friends, they just liked having him around. He was the life of the party somehow, and even that didn’t make sense to him. He hated being around so many people… Why did he do it? What was so important about being popular? He wouldn’t know these people once these next 3 days are over. The only person he wanted to take with him once college was over was you, and you didn’t want that… You didn’t want him anymore.

1 day left until graduation, everyone was so excited, but he was terrified. Today would be the last day he got to actually be with you, to spend with you… And of course you were out again. Who the hell were you out with? Who had you going out so much? Who had gotten your attention like this and stolen you away from him?

You walked through the front door, once again bagless, showing him that you still weren’t shopping. He could see on your face, you were flustered, he knew that look quite well, he had made you look like that many times. You were giggly and giddy and when you shut the door behind you, you leaned against it, letting out the cutest little sigh. Is that how you reacted when you’d come back home after dates with him?

A date? A date?! That’s the only thing that made sense to him, and now he was… upset… he was jealous… he was pissed. “Yah!” He shouted, jumping up off the couch and storming over to you, his hand landing against the door right next to your head, caging you between him and the door. “Where were you? Huh!? What have you been doing? Who are you going out with?!”

Your little smile quickly fell when he was right in front of you and he hated that you seemed to be drained of all emotion when he was close to you. “It’s none of your business, Jisung.” You muttered, trying to duck under his arm, but he moved closer, pressing his chest against yours and pinning you there. “What are you doing?” You grunted, trying to push against him, but he wasn’t budging, his muscles flexing as he kept himself steady.

“I can’t fucking take it! It’s driving me bat shit crazy, and I hate seeing you happy if it’s not with me.” You rolled your eyes and his fist came down against the door with agitation. “Who are you going out with?! I’ll kick his ass, I swear to god!” He screeched, his head falling forward, his forehead resting against yours as he breathed heavily. “Who is it…? Just tell me, please… Are we really done?”

“You’re being ridiculous.” You mumbled, tilting your head away from him. “Don’t you have parties to attend? I’m sure everyone misses you.” You tried to push against him again, but he refused to move, his hands moving from the door to grip your hips, his head falling to your shoulder as he shuddered with quiet sobs.

“I don’t care who misses me… I want you to miss me… I miss you.” He whispered, desperately kissing along your shoulder, wanting you to feel something, wanting you to want him. “Fuck the parties… I want you… I just want you. Fuck, I miss you so fucking much!” He nibbled lightly on your neck, and he was more proud than he’d like to admit when you tilted your head to the side, a soft gasp leaving your lips. “Tell me who he is… Please, baby… Just tell me… Is he better than me?”

Your hands moved to his hair, your fingers tangling in it as you gently pulled him back, but the feeling of it had him moaning softly. “Are you jealous?” You cooed, a small smirk playing on your lips, and he didn’t even care how smug you were right now. He was jealous, and he nodded quickly. “I was with my mom… We’re getting things set up for when I move back in with her.”

He couldn’t help but stare blankly at you, blinking rapidly as his mouth fell open, and then your words sank in and his lips were latching back onto your neck, kissing and sucking against your skin ruthlessly before moving up to your lips, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. “Why… Why did you look so happy? Why were you giggling? Hmm?” He questioned through heavy breaths, and you snorted softly as you cupped his cheeks.

“Because I know how you get… I knew you’d get jealous…” You teased, squishing his cheeks before kissing him once more. “It worked, and now you know how I felt at the party… Well, before you insulted me… Which I’m still pissed about by the way.”

“I’m sorry!” He shouted quickly, his bottom lip jutted out as his eyes widened. “We’re… We’re not done though… Are we? I don’t even want to party… I just want you.” His fingers were gripping your shirt so tight, the fabric balled up in his palms as he stepped back, leading you to the couch. “I want to spend my life with you… Every second of every day… Please…”

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etinceelle · 9 months ago

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CW : animal death

I don't really know how to talk about it but I lost my baby cat this weekend. I grew up with him, everything happened so suddenly, it was brutal and I still don't realize how fast everything happened. He was suffering and I had to choose to help him go in peace. It's probably one of the worst feeling in the world that to know you're being a part of helping a being you love go, and at the same time I had no other choice because he was suffering and barely being able to breath. I just have everything on loop in my head and I can't get the images out of my brain, the moment I saw him go and his last moments, I feel so numb but I just couldn't leave him alone that was NOT an option.

A few days ago only he was there purring on my lap, playing like a baby, eating a lot... It feels a lot. I don't even know what to say more, I need time to process, I don't want to work or go at uni, I feel anxious at night, I struggle to eat, I just sleep and cuddle with my other cats and I'm probably being overprotective and just staying with them to be sure they're okay.

I just don't care about wasting my time with any drama, with anything, I'm just tired of fighting, I'm tired of debates about fandom or fictional ships or whatever. It feels weird one year ago I was completely obssessed with RWBY V9 at that time, right now it's the last thing I could care about. I just wanted my baby cat to stay for a bit longer, I wish I could have helped him, I wish I could have been there more, I don't know if I did enough when I was there to help him go, I don't know if I talked to him enough, if he felt more at peace that I was there, I don't know if he understood what was happening before he fell asleep, I just hope he knew that I wasn't gonna abandon him, I wish uni wasn't taking so much of my time so I could have stayed with him more

I knew he was old, I knew he wasn't gonna stay forever, but I just thought the way he left would be less scary, more peaceful, less painful, more calm... No matter how much you prepare yourself, you're never ready when it really happens

I remember how tiny he was when we found him, he was 4 months old and I was 10, I was waking up 1h before my usual time to spend time with him before school. It's the first time I tamed a cat and learned how to earn his trust, he was my baby cat

I just miss him

Love you Fripon ♥ 2010/2024

#cat #cw #cw animal death

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pollyna · 9 months ago

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I don’t even know why the first thing that my brain thought of after waking up at 7am was this, but here you go!

A hand find its way to Mav’s hair and it gently ran through it.

“That’s nice,” Mav thought. He opened one of his eyes to see whose hand it belonged to and fully expecting to see a silver haired man next to him, looking at him with that relieved smile.

Instead, Maverick woke up to an empty hospital room and the usually occupied chair next to the bed was empty. He was looking for Iceman, the person who was always there when he woke up from another crash or accident but he couldn’t find him.

“Maybe Ice went for coffee or something” Mav thought.

Right on time, the door to mav’s hospital room opened. Mav couldn’t help but smile his wide sunshine smile that he reserved just for Ice after getting into trouble again. He also couldn’t help himself from saying “Hey, Ice” to the figure entering his room.

The eyes that met his were the wrong colour. They were brown instead of the icy blue eyes that he loved and the brown eyes are filled with guilt and sadness.

“Sorry Mav. It’s not Ice, it’s Bradley.”

“Oh hi baby goose” Mav said to Bradley as he came closer to the bed and stood next to it.

“Where’s Ice? Do you know when will he be here?” Mav asked Bradley and he watched him sucked in a harsh breath and those guilt in his eyes intensified.

“Are you ok Bradley? What’s the matter?” Mav’s gentle yet concerned voice asked.

“Ice couldnt come, mav” Bradley answered hesitantly.

“Oh? He’s on a work trip or something?” Mav asked.

“No, not like that” said Bradley.

“Then why?” Mav pushed for answer.

Bradley inhaled deeply and briefly looked up to the ceiling before looking back at mav as he carefully chose his next words “do you remember what happened last week, Mav?”

“Yes I do. Us training for the mission, the dogfight football, cyclone chewing my ass yet again, more training, coyote going into g-loc, the bird strike and the fun—,” the memory hit mav like a brick. No, it’s worse than a brick.

“Oh… Ice’s, Ice’s funeral…” Mav said barely above a whisper and didn’t have the chance to stop himself from looking at the empty chair next to his hospital bed.

The soothing touches had been a dream or was it memory? Mav wasn’t so sure of himself anymore because how could he forget the day he lost Ice? It was the most pain he felt when he lost him and none of his many ejections and accidents were that painful. Even the pain he felt right now wasn’t as bad as the day he buried his Ice.

“I’m so sorry, Mav” Bradley offered and bent down to hug him. He pretended that he didn’t notice the tears that were falling from Mav’s eyes and continued to hold on to his godfather. Bradley’s heart broke for the man in his arms who had suffered too many heartbreaks and silently vowed to himself that he would protect him to the end of his life.

I’m sorry guys. I couldn’t help it…

WELL LET'S SAY IT WASN'T HOW I IMAGINE GETTING WAKED UP-

But it's really good and I love the concept of Mav forgetting Ice is dead because it's such a huge everything him not being around that his mind refuses the possibility of it at every turn and just- forgets he's not here.

I'm gonna cry a little brb

#icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #mcd #bradley rooster bradshaw

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cyantomatos · 11 months ago

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Even Stars Will Fall - Ch 12

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x fem!Reader x Ellaria Sand Word Count: ~5.5k Warnings: I'm gonna forego warnings on this chapter for the sake of spoilers, just this once. It's not anything worse than any of the previous chapters, so you should be good if you made it here, but if anyone has any concerns, just shoot me a message. Notes: Buckle up, we made it to the end. More notes after the chapter.

Last Chapter | Masterlist

Ellaria wakes in a dark room with alarm bells going off in her head.

It takes a moment to get her bearings, but she’s out of the bed before she’s fully stable and striding to the cradle tucked into the corner. She’d never been one to let her child be cared for by a stranger and kept in a nursery, and it wasn’t going to be any different with Dorea.

When she peeks over the side, careful to be quiet, the little newborn is sleeping peacefully. Ellaria lets out a breath, certain it was just paranoia over her child that woke her, but then she realizes the alarm bells haven’t quieted. Something is wrong, she doesn’t know how she knows it, but she does. And then she feels it, a weak tug in her gut, pulling her down the hall.

Oberyn is still in the main hall, still laughing and talking to guests when Ellaria bursts in. He’s never seen her like this before, so frantic, not even about their children. Immediately he’s at her side, stopping mid-conversation with some Northern lord to go to her. Her eyes are wide, hands shaking as he takes them in his. “What is it, what is wrong, my soul?”

“She isn’t in her room, she’s gone!”

You have a headache. Like, the worst headache you’ve ever had. Well, not the worst. You got a migraine once when you were twelve, and spent the whole day in bed because it hurt to move your eyes. This isn’t that bad, but it’s still bad.

Your brain boots up slowly. First the pain in your head registers, and then just how bright wherever you are is despite your eyes being closed. Soft fabric rubs against your cheek, and you realize you’re laying on your side against sheets that feel coarser than the ones on your bed despite their softness.

Finally, you manage to open your eyes. The room around you swims into focus, and you blink a few times trying to clear the blurring from your vision.

You’re not in the palace anymore.

Whatever room you’re in is small and windowless. The bed you’re lying on is shoved into the corner, and there’s a dresser and a small vanity with a stool agains the opposite wall. The furniture is all well made, and obviously expensive, despite the dreary appearing of the room around them. The walls are bare wood, and you think it might be some sort of shed or storage room that was hastily outfitted.

The door at the far end of the room opens, and your stomach drops. Rylan is standing in the doorway, and in the few seconds before he steps in and closes the door you can see bright green plants behind him.

There’s a wide grin on his face, and the open friendliness he looks at you with stuns you for a moment. You’re so used to seeing him angry or smug or pretending at civility that the genuine expression almost breaks your brain.

“You’re awake! I was beginning to think you’d sleep the day away, my dear.”

You stare at him for a moment as he steps into the room and pushes the door closed with his foot, a tray balanced in his hands. As he walks towards you, you push yourself into a sitting position, scooting up against the headboard as far as you can. “Where am I?”

Rylan sets the tray on the vanity, and turns towards you with a cup in his hands. “My lands. Not in the main house, for right now, it would be too dangerous to have you there. Once it is obvious to my cousin that you belong with me, as my wife, you can move in there properly and have a room that befits a lady of the house.”

He holds the cup out to you with a smile, and your eyes flicker between it and his face. When you don’t take it, his smile falters, and it looks more like genuine upset than a mask slipping like it did the previous times you spoke to him. Instead of insisting he just shrugs, turning to place the cup back on the tray. “I know this may be a bit of a shock, my dear, but it is just temporary. I had to get you away from my cousin, he was clouding your mind. You could not think clearly, could not see that I only have your best interests at heart. He has that kind of effect on women, I am afraid.” Rylan shakes his head, frowning down at the tray of dishes for a moment.

After a moment of silence he turns back to you, smiling once again. “I cannot stay, my dear, I have important matters I must attend to. You will be safe here, I promise, and I will visit again soon.” He gestures to the wall above you, and you see a shelf above the bed with several books stacked on it. “Feel free to read while I am gone, I will see about getting you some other entertainment as well. Do you know how to embroider? Or draw? Well, no matter, you can learn all of that once we are married.”

Your mind is whirling, too much information to process at the moment making it hard to think. This isn’t the same confident, smarmy lord you’d dealt with at the palace. No, it seemed like he’d genuinely managed to delude himself into thinking you would go along with marriage if he only got you away from Oberyn.

Before you could react properly he turned, striding to the door. You scrambled off the bed, tripping towards him, still uncoordinated from whatever he used to knock you out.

“Rylan, wait! Wait, please, I don’t want to be here!”

The door shut firmly behind him, and you fell against it, desperately fumbling with the knob. It wouldn’t turn, and you leaned against the wood with a sinking feeling in your stomach.

You were locked in here, at the mercy of that man.

The palace was in chaos.

The moment Ellaria had told Oberyn you were gone, he began tearing the palace apart. Every guest was ordered down to the main hall, and every room was searched. He lead the search himself, tearing apart rooms without concern for the consequences. Doran was summoned, but by the time he found his brother, Oberyn was already deep on the warpath.

The elder prince found his brother in a guest room, one that hadn’t been occupied by anyone that night, ripping the mattress off the frame. There were a handful of guards standing against one wall, expressions of concern fixed on the younger prince. Doran sighed as he watched his brother, gesturing for the guards to leave.

“Oberyn. This will not solve anything.” His brother turned to him, fury etched onto his face, and flung his arms wide.

“She is gone, Doran. Someone took her, from my palace, during my party. What do you expect me to do, sit quietly until they return her? She is our soulmate.” Some of the fury leaked out of his expression, morphing into desperation as Doran stepped towards his little brother.

“I expect you to think clearly. You are a prince, Oberyn, and currently you are not acting like one.”

Oberyn clenched his jaw, looking away from his brother. When he spoke, his voice was rough, like the words themselves pained him. “I cannot just sit here, Doran. I do not mean I do not want to, I mean I cannot. Every fiber of my being is driving me to look for her. For my soulmate.”

Doran softened at that. He sighed, reaching out to grip his brothers shoulders. “We will find her, brother mine. But you need to calm yourself. Flying off in a rage like this will not help her.” Oberyn nodded tightly, still refusing to look at his brother.

It’s late, when Oberyn makes it to bed that night. The entire palace had been scavenged top to bottom, a large quantity of it by Oberyn himself, but there’s still no sign.

Ellaria is in his room when Doran finally convinces him to get some sleep. She’s awake, sitting on the edge of his bed, and when she lifts her head Oberyn feels his heart break a little at the sight of her. Her eyes are red, and she can barely hold her head up from the exhaustion he feels dragging at his own bones as well. He knew Ellaria had been searching for most of the day, but they rarely crossed paths in his single-minded pursuit of their lost soulmate.

“Any news?” Her voice shakes, and he wishes he could give her something good.

Instead he shakes his head, swallowing hard. “No. No one has seen her.”

He steps forward, kneeling in front of her, grasping her hands in his as her head lowers again.

“We will find her, my soul. I swear. We will find her, and whoever took her will pay.”

You’re not sure how long it’s been since Rylan left, but a maid came in a few hours later and took the tray of untouched food away. You don’t want to take the chance that he’s put anything in the food, despite the pit growing in your stomach from hunger. For a moment, you consider overpowering the maid when she turns away with the tray, but she looks nervous and scared and won’t hardly look at you. You refuse to hurt someone innocent, not even to get yourself out of this situation.

When Rylan comes back, it’s dark outside behind him. He’s carrying a tray again, which he sets on the bed this time before sitting next to it. You try not to, but as he sits you shrink away, your body rebelling at just the thought of being near him.

“You need to eat, my dear. I know you are upset right now, I do understand, but starving yourself will fix nothing.” He looks at you with pleading eyes, and it’s almost enough to make you feel bad, until you remember what he did to you.

The two of you just stare at each other for a moment before something falters in his gaze, and he lets out a sigh. “I know things are difficult right now, and you think I am being unfair. But trust me, my dear. You will be much happier here, with me, than you ever would have been being a third wheel to the prince and his whore.”

You do managed to keep your expression neutral at his words, despite the anger building inside you at the way he talks about Oberyn and Ellaria. There’s an instinctual rage deep in your heart, listening to this man talk like he knows what’s best for you, like what’s best for you isn’t being with your soulmates. It’s hard to ignore, but you keep your expression neutral, worried that if you upset him you’ll lose the weird kindness he’s been treating you with.

You do not, however, manage to keep yourself from jerking away when he puts a hand on your arm. He looks surprised, and then hurt, his hand still hovering where your arm had been moments before. For a moment, as emotions flicker across his face, you’re worried you managed to upset him after all, and you’ll get the angry, selfish lord that you knew him as before.

Instead, he smiles, the expression wavering slightly, and stands. “You need time. My cousin’s influence over you has to fade on its own. I will wait, my dear, until you understand the favor I am doing you.”

Doran bursts into his brother's room very early the next morning. Early enough that it’s still mostly dark out, and Oberyn and Ellaria sit up in bed with a start, a knife in Oberyn’s hand instantly.

“I apologize for the early hour, brother, but there is news you need to hear.”

Moments later he is in Doran’s office, staring down a scared woman that looks like she’s trying to blend into the fabric of the chair in front of his brother's desk. Ellaria stands at his side, hand gripped tightly in his own, as the woman speaks.

“I-I work at Lord Rylan’s manor. He was out very late, the night of the prince’s celebration, and when he came back he had a woman with him. I did not know who she was, and she was unconscious, but I did not say anything. I could not risk my job, I-” She pauses, shrinking away from Oberyn’s thunderous expression. Ellaria nudges him, glaring up at him, before turning to give the woman an encouraging look.

“I did not see where he took her, but yesterday afternoon, the housekeeper told me to go fetch a tray from one of the outbuildings. The woman was in there, and she looked scared. I still did not know who she was, or what I could do to help her, but then last night we got word of your missing woman, and I realized it must be her. I do not…trust his intentions with her, my prince, he has been talking all day yesterday to anyone who will listen about how we will have a new lady soon, he just needs to convince her. I was not able to get away until very late last night, not without someone noticing, and I came here immediately.” The words all come out in a rush, and when she finishes speaking Doran sighs.

“It was brave of you to come, my dear. I will have someone show you to a room you can stay in, here in the palace, until this situation is dealt with.”

The silence in the room hangs heavy until the woman is gone, and Doran finally looks at his brother. Oberyn’s gaze is on Ellaria, and for a moment Doran feels like an intruder with the way they seem to communicate without words.

Finally, Oberyn’s shoulders drop, and Ellaria lets out a breath, apparently the winner in whatever silent argument they were having. Oberyn looks at his brother, voice shaking. “We cannot leave her there, brother.”

“No, we cannot. I already suspected Rylan had a hand in your soulmate’s disappearance, but without proof I could not act. This is the proof we needed.” He stands, his expression grim. “You will have to wait, just a bit, until I have the men to go with you, but I will not stand in your way Oberyn.”

You're not sure how much time passes. There's no window in this little building, and you're almost positive food isn't being brought on any real schedule. After Rylan leaves, you sleep for a while, and when you wake there's another tray sitting on the vanity. It concerns you a little, that someone must have been in here while you were asleep without you noticing. It's enough to make you sit up in the corner of the bed, back pressed resolutely against the wall, determined not to sleep anymore.

You also still don't trust the food. Rylan seems nice, for now, but you still wouldn't put it past him to drug the food somehow. You don't know this world well enough yet to know what kinds of drugs are possible here, and what they might do to your mind or body if consumed. It's safer, for now, not to eat or drink any of the food or water brought to you.

After a while, you think a few hours, the door opens and Rylan enters again. This time, when he sees the still-untouched tray of food, you see a flicker of the rage in his eyes that you'd been expecting since you first woke in this tiny room. It's gone a moment later, however, and that pleading sadness is back on his face by the time he looks at you.

"I do not understand how my cousin sank his claws into you so deep in such a short time, my dear. Is the thought of being with me truly so repulsive that you would rather starve?" You hate the tone he's using, like you're a child that needs to be reasoned with, and before you can stop yourself you're replying.

"You kidnapped me. You stole me out of my bed in the middle of the night and locked me in here, and you expect me to be happy?"

Rylan flinches. It'd be satisfying if you weren't mentally berating yourself for provoking him. There's no telling when his mood might finally shift, and you don't want to find out what the Lord Rylan you knew before will do with no one around to stop him.

As you brace yourself, Rylan looks at you for a moment, lips pursed. Finally he sighs, deflating slightly, and his voice has an edge to it now that wasn't there before. "You still do not understand. I am doing what is best for you, my dear. My cousin gets everything he wants, women, money, power, but he cannot have you. My methods were rough, I will admit, but you will see." He crosses to the vanity, looking thoughtfully down at the uneaten food. "You know, my dear, if you do not choose to eat soon I will have to force the matter. I do not want to upset you further, but if you give me no choice..."

A spike of fear shoots through you at this glimpse of the old Rylan, and without thinking you press yourself back against the wall behind you. Your eyes dart to the door, mind frantically working. You don't think you've seen him lock it the few times he's come in. If he comes at you, you might be able to get to the door. You don't know where you are, or what might be waiting for you outside, but anything is better than being at his mercy. You're sure of that.

Before you need to worry about any of that, however, the door opens. Rylan turns away from the food, annoyance flashing on his face in the few seconds you can see it and filling his voice. "What."

There's a scared looking young man peeking through a crack in the door. He's only opened it enough to wedge his head and shoulders through, and the look on his face suggests he'd rather be baiting rabid dogs than delivering whatever news he has. "M-my lord, the prince is here."

Rylan goes perfectly still as your heart immediately soars. You had hoped Oberyn would come, but you couldn't be sure he would even be able to find you. It hits you, faintly, that just a few days ago you might not have been so certain the prince would come for you, but after the discussion with him and Ellaria the night of the party, there wasn't a doubt in your mind that they would both move mountains to find you.

For a second, you almost feel sorry for Rylan when you look at him. He's spent his life being overshadowed by his royal cousin, that part you have no doubt is true despite his delusions around everything else, and now Oberyn is here to take you away. Again, in his head most likely. You'd feel sorry for anyone, really, standing between Oberyn and what he wants. That sliver of pity, however, promptly shrivels up when seconds later you see Rylan straighten and sneer at the young man. "The prince. My cousin finally deigns to visit me, then. He's smarter than I gave him credit for, if he worked out I was the one to take her this quickly."

He turns to you, and you feel proper fear this time at the expression on his face. "Worry not, my dear. I will not allow him to take you from me."

Rylan was gone for less than a minute before you moved.

You needed to get out. You were over the moon that Oberyn was here, but there was no guarantee he'd be able to find you, and you couldn't just wait and hope. All you had to do was get out of this room and find Oberyn. It was a much more manageable list than before, especially since you still had no idea what was waiting outside that door.

It was easier than you thought to get the door unlocked. Well, unlocked wasn't really the right word.

The benefit to your kidnapper trying to make you as comfortable as possible and deluding himself into believing he could make you want to stay was that he hadn't put any thought into how useful the things in your room could be in an escape. For instance; heavy books make great tools to knock handles off of doors.

It took a few tries, and with every loud thump your anxiety ratcheted up a notch, but with one last swing, the handle finally clattered to the floor. You dropped the book, sliding a finger into the hole left in the door to slowly pull it open. When there was no immediate sign you'd been spotted you peeked out from around the edge of the door, finally taking in the sights outside your prison.

You knew Dorne was a diverse country, but most of what you had seen at this point pretty closely resembled a desert. You'd never ventured far from the seaside castle, however, so it came as a bit of a shock when you realized the area surrounding your prison was a riot of green. It looked like you were in the middle of a rainforest with the amount of dense vegetation surrounding the clearing you were in. There was a rather large building that you only just now realized one side of your room was connected to, and after your senses adjusted you realized you could hear the sounds of animals coming from it. Rylan must have outfitted some kind of storage shed attached to a barn to hold you.

That right there spoke volumes to how he regarded you.

You took a cautious step out of the building, looking around. There didn't seem to be anyone in the area, and for a moment a paranoid part of your brain wondered if this was a test to see how you would react to an opportunity to escape. You physically shook your head to dislodge that thought, determined not to let fear guide your actions. You needed out of here, and sitting in your pretty prison too scared to move wasn't going to get you anywhere.

Slowly, placing your feet carefully, you crept forward until you reached the edge of the barn. You weren't letting fear guide you, but that didn't mean you shouldn't be cautious. When you peeked around the edge of the building, a wall of the same dense vegetation you'd seen all around you met you just a few feet away. There was a path leading through the foliage, and you could just barely see the same kind of stone that was used for the palace at Sunspear peeking through the bright green vegetation. A quick scan showed that there wasn't anyone in the area, so you crept forward along the path, praying to any gods that might be listening no one caught you.

As you came towards the end of the path the building came into view. The clearing it sat in was large, and the building itself was absolutely massive. Not as massive as the palace, but still, obviously what would be considered a home fit for a lord. It was built in the same design as the palace you'd spent so much time in at Sunspear, with the same sun-bleached tan walls and open window designs. Just the sight of it made your heart squeeze in homesickness, and you realized in that moment how deeply you'd come to regard the palace as your home. You'd only been in this world for a matter of weeks, and yet you already felt like you belonged here more than you ever had anywhere else.

You followed the edge of the house towards what you hoped was the front, slowing your steps as you got closer and realized you could hear voices. You instantly recognized Oberyn’s voice, hearing the tension in his otherwise cool tone as he responded to something Rylan said. You crept forward, peeking around the corner of the house.

Oberyn was standing at the front of the house, several men dressed in his house’s colors standing behind him. Rylan stood in front of him, his own men behind him, arms crossed as he obviously tried to make himself look more visually intimidating in front of Oberyn’s casual confidence. You could see the tension in Oberyn’s shoulders, however, and you knew how tight of a grip he must be keeping on his temper as he faced down his cousin. Ellaria stood several feet behind Oberyn’s group, two men standing on either side of her, a mixture of anger and anxiety written on her face.

You’d meant to stay back far enough that hopefully no one would see you, unsure what situation you were walking into, but Ellaria’s eyes met yours almost instantly, like she was drawn to you. You saw her mouth open, to far away to hear anything, but she must have gasped with the way Oberyn instantly turned to look at her. He turned back, following her gaze, and his own eyes went wide when he spotted you.

You took a step forward, forgetting for a moment the situation and where you were, and were instantly ripped back into reality at the sound of swords being drawn. Instantly, there were five different swords pointed at Oberyn, close enough that his own guards would be able to do little to protect their prince. Rylan’s men had stepped forward as Oberyn had spotted you, the lord spotting you at the same time as his cousin thanks to Ellaria’s reaction.

Rylan closed the few feet over to you, one hand closing roughly around your arm to drag you out from around the side of the building. “I should have known you would come running at the chance to see your prince again.” He spat out the word like it disgusted him, coming to a stop a few feet behind the men that currently had swords pointed at one of your soulmates.

You’d never seen Oberyn scared, before, not even when Ellaria was in labor. You’d seen him ruffled, perhaps worried, but never scared. You felt fear spread through your own body like an icy river at the pure terror in his eyes now, though, as he watched his cousin drag you forward. Your eyes darted back to Ellaria, fighting back panic at the fear on her face as well.

Oberyn held up one hand, slowly, eyes darting quickly to one of the swords pressed close to him before focusing back on his cousin. “Rylan, please, think this through. Doran already knows you took her, he sent me. What do you think is going to happen here?”

Rylan sneered at his cousin. “You think you’ve won again. You think I will cave, let the girl go running back to you and your whore because, what? Because of fear of you? Of your brother? If you have not noticed, cousin, you are the one with swords to your throat, and your dear brother is all the way in Sunspear. I could slaughter you and your whore and be halfway across the continent by the time Doran manages to mobilize his men to come after me.”

You took an involuntary step towards Oberyn and Ellaria at the threat against them, only to be jerked back by Rylan’s grip on your arm. He looked down at you then, rage twisting his face into a grimacing sneer.

Rylan quickly yanked a knife out of the sheath at his side with his free hand, bringing it up to drag under your chin, forcing your head up towards him to avoid being cut. “Then again, that would leave me with a woman forever pining for someone else. I could break her, I suppose, loving me would be a bonus, not a necessity. But it would get tiring. And it would be oh so satisfying to kill her in front of you.”

He looked back up, knife still pressed to your throat, a malicious grin spreading across his face. “Suddenly, cousin, I am the one holding all of the cards for once.”

You met Oberyn’s eyes again, reading the terror written there, and you could practically see his mind racing as he tried to find a way out of this situation for all of you. “Rylan, cousin, don’t do this. Would you really rather live in exile, or die, than see her with us?”

Rylan scoffed, and you winced as his hand jerked slightly and dug the knife further into your skin.

"I would rather see us all die, cousin, than see you win again."

All of the fear flowing through your body like icy spears suddenly went hot, like a switch being flipped, morphing into rage and indignation.

How dare he?

How dare he try and steal you as though you were a toy to be taken from his cousin? How dare he tell his men to point swords at your soulmate? How dare he use your life to threaten them? How dare he?

You turned to him carefully, forcing yourself to look away from where Oberyn stood with swords to his neck and Ellaria stood in helpless terror behind him, ignoring the way the movement made the knife slide against your skin.

"Look at me."

The force in your voice, more power than you'd commanded before, compelled him to look down at you, a sneer still plastered on his face. The moment he met your gaze, however, his face went slack.

“I see you, Lord Rylan. I see your blackened, rotted soul. You want to be a big, scary man, but you aren’t. You’re a scared, lonely little boy, lashing out because he could never make any friends or get a girl to give him a spare glance. You thought it was because your cousin distracted them with his title and his riches, but that wasn’t it, was it?” You sneered right back at him, channeling all of your hate and anger into your voice. “It was you, Rylan. They all saw you, who you really were, and wanted nothing to do with you. You would have been alone with or without your cousin there. You always were, and still are, worthless and repulsive. I never would have wanted you regardless of if I had met my soulmates, because I always saw what you are. A jealous, possessive, mean little man that thinks he can take what he wants and blames others for his problems.”

The slack look on Rylan’s face slowly morphed as you spoke, horror spreading across his face as he stood there, frozen. He shook his head, stammering, “What…what are you doing?”

You reached up, wrapping one hand around the wrist of the hand holding the knife to your neck, easily pulling it away from you. “But I have a present for you, Lord Rylan. A gift. You wanted my magic so badly, so here. Have a taste.” You watched as his eyes clouded over, and held tightly as he tried to jerk his arm out of your grasp. For a moment he stood there, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, and then he screamed.

You let go, letting him stumble backwards until he tripped over his own feet, landing hard on the ground. He writhed where he fell, simultaneously reaching out to ward off something only he could see away and also clawing at his own face, his screams filling the air around you. You watched, a feeling of satisfaction and pride spreading through you.

A hand on your arm broke your concentration and you turned, finding Oberyn and Ellaria standing at your side. You glanced over their shoulders, seeing Oberyn’s men holding swords to Rylan’s men, his side apparently distracted enough by their lord falling into a fit to be overtaken by Oberyn’s men.

You realized then that you were clutching your necklace tightly in the hand that hadn’t been holding Rylan’s wrist, and when you managed to uncurl your fingers from the death grip you’d had on the pendant, the sight that met you somehow didn’t surprise you at all.

The brilliant blue had leeched out, leaving what looked like a hollow, plain glass pendant hanging around your neck.

You looked back up, eyes suddenly filling with tears as the adrenaline from the last few minutes bled out of your body. Instantly you were engulfed in your soulmate’s arms, pressed between them, and you finally relaxed.

“We have you, my sunflower, you are safe.” Ellaria’s muffled voice washed over you, soothing the lingering terror you felt. Oberyn pressed a kiss to the top of your head, whispering a promise against your hair. “No one will take you from us ever again, my soul. Never.”

We made it guys. Almost two years and 12 chapters later and we made it, finally. I am genuinely so sorry for how long it took for me to finish this fix, it ended up being beefier and so much more work than I was expecting, but I got there in the end. There's going to be an epilogue eventually, but I don't know when that will happen.

For now, thank you guys for sticking with me, welcome to the people just showing up, and I hope you enjoyed the ride ❤

(And now that we're done, if any of you want to send me questions, feel free!)

Taglist:

@sarahjkl82-blog @ecuadorlady @fan-of-encouragement @obscurexsorrows @badwolf-on-baker-st @felicisimor @local-mr-frog @knivesareout @writeforfandoms @gorgeousgrogu @leto-duke @xoxabs88xox @kirsteng42 @hauntedmama @urofficial-cyberslut @marvelousmermaid @tanzthompson @lowlights @dobbyjen @casa-boiardi @ace-spades-1

Join my taglist here!

#oberyn martell #ellaria sand #oberyn martell x reader #ellaria sand x reader #oberyn martell x reader x ellaria sand #eswf #even stars will fall

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yunjardi · 2 months ago

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where the hell is jardi???

tw: self h*rm, su*cide, a bit of graphic description/imagery, things of that nature. by all means, you don't have to read this; i just wanted to be open about why i've been away from writing for nearly a year now

get ready because it's an absolute yap fest

hello, my lovelies

i feel kinda scared to post something like this because i never want to worry anyone or bring the mood down, but i feel like i need to open up in order to fully be able to come back to writing.

this is stuff that i've been struggling with since i was quite young (probably about 10), so i tend to downplay it because i always tell myself that i need to "get over it" or "just be strong" or that i'm pinning these emotions onto myself.

but this past year and a half, it's been a steady decline.

i swore to myself that i would reach out for help if i needed it, but i just couldn't find it in me to do it. i felt weak, pathetic, and scared. i didn't want anyone to see me the way that i see myself. i continued to act normal in order to mask all the negative emotions that i was experiencing, but that only made things more difficult.

it was at that point that i started to hurt myself again after so long.

"what's one cut gonna do?" is what i remember asking myself when i let the blade sink into me.

i felt disappointed at myself for a split second before i felt the "bliss" of emotions being let out as i let myself bleed. i began to remember why i used to do it but simultaneously began to wonder why i stopped in the first place when it felt so relieving.

after that, hurting myself became a regular thought in my head, something that i craved almost. i could feel myself slipping away with every cut i made on my body, but i kept fooling myself into thinking that it would make me feel better. at the back of my mind, i knew it was a temporary solution, but i just couldn't stop.

i felt like i let the few people in my life who care about me down even though they had no idea for the longest time that i had let myself slip back into that horrible habit of that i was struggling in the first place.

i couldn't get my thoughts to stop. i felt like i was being eaten alive by my own brain. i wanted so badly to feel okay again- i didn't even need to feel 'good,' i just wanted to feel okay even if it was just for a short moment.

but i truly saw no end to the war zone that my mind became, and i thought that the only way i could control it is to seize it from being able to happen again.

i remember so vividly how my body felt once i downed an unknown amount of pills: like i was about to reach freedom. i felt a numbness inside me that's indescribable.

i ended up passing out and waking up in a puddle of sweat, still in my bed where i had taken the pills in the first place.

i remember sobbing into my pillow about the fact that i had failed at taking my own life for the fourth time.

feelings of worthlessness turned into anger, and anger turned to numbness. i felt like a shell of myself again, and it was killing me. at that point, i didn't want to feel anything anymore.

just days after the most recent attempt, i tried again.

i couldn't even feel myself swallowing the pills at this point; i had gotten used to the feeling. i passed out again, but when i woke up i was sweating, lightheaded, vomiting, i couldn't stand on my own, i could barely move at all. i was in this condition for days after my attempt, and it only made me feel worse.

i knew that i deserved every bit of pain that i went through because i did it to myself and i'm the only one to blame, but i desperately wanted a way out.

i unfortunately turned back to hurting myself again because i thought that was the only way.

one cut turned into multiple, and i felt pathetic all over again.

i was ashamed of what i let myself become, and i was even more ashamed of the fact that i couldn't even bring myself to ask for help when i so desperately needed it.

i feel relieved having written this, and i can say that i'm beginning to feel a bit better.

yes, i unfortunately still find myself experiencing urges to hurt myself, but i'm getting better at coping and distracting myself. if on the off chance i end up giving in to my urges, i learned to forgive myself, reminding myself that setbacks happen and it isn't the end of the world. i'm navigating through this slowly but surely, and that's all that matters.

if any one of you are experiencing anything like this, please don't be afraid to message me or ask for help. please don't feel like you need to go through this alone.

and for the people who actually read all of this, thank you from the absolute bottom of my heart for taking time out of your day to listen. i love you and i mean that wholeheartedly.

and those of you who've been here since the beginning, i love you too. thank you for sticking with me through everything despite the fact that i haven't posted in ages. it makes me smile knowing that you all are still here.

just in case no one has told you today: you're doing great, and i'm proud of you. <3

love u,

-jardi

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temnurus · 1 year ago

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Wangxian Top Ten Fic Recs

So. I got into MDZS/The Untamed back in February, & I've sort of fallen into a Wangxian black hole from which I am not sure I will ever emerge. Thusly, I've been reading a ton of Wangxian fanfiction lately & have acquired quite a few favorites. Naturally I had to eventually compile a rec list lest I combust with all the barely suppressed love I have for this ship.

Now you lucky people get to reap the benefits of all my hard work because not only have I ranked my top ten, I am also including a bunch of honorable mentions because I'm ridiculous & have no self restraint because I'm such a kind & generous person. Note that the honorable mentions are not ranked & are listed in no particular order.

Fair warning, all of these recs are rated Explicit because I enjoy either a sprinkling or a flood of adult content with my fics. It's far from the focus of many of them, but it's there to varying degrees in each. Also, some of these fics cover some heavy content that may be triggering for some folks, so please do mind the tags & any authors' notes for your own peace of mind.

And with no further adieu, onto the recs!

1. Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58,467)

Thoughts: I lost count of how many times I cried in this fic. It was gorgeous in every sense of the word. The characterizations were phenomenal. Wei Ying’s pain was palpable, & the pining was agonizing. Lan Zhan conveying his love through poetry made me sob like a baby twice. The prose was just that beautiful. I can’t recommend this enough. As soon as I finished it I knew it was going to become my favorite Wangxian fic, & nothing has managed to top it yet.

2. Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147,201)

Thoughts: I was sold on tattoo artist Wei Ying from the word go, haha, but Lan Zhan as an antiques dealer was also surprisingly on point. I go on about characterization a lot in these recs, but I have to tell you that Lan Zhan's here is one of my absolute favorites. I felt like I'd crawled into his skin & was just living there right along with him. And don't get me started on Wei Ying in this fic. I just.. fuck, I cried so much, y'all, & it was incredibly cathartic. Nie Huaisang was my favorite side character in this, & they were an absolute BAMF! You can't go wrong with this one. It's just stunning.

3. Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 72,966)

Thoughts: This fic was full of sentiment: regrets, longing, & so, so nostalgic. The love of art was apparent & beautifully on display here, & it added a richness to the whole thing. I cried several times during this from the empathy I had for both Lan Zhan's & Wei Ying's experiences (can you sense a theme with my favorites making me overly emotional? lol). The tone got heavy in places, but it didn't feel graphic or overwhelming at any point for me. The writing was just fantastic, & I've enjoyed a few more of the author's fics since I read this one.

4. i'm gonna drown when you wake up by teenjiism (E, 51,752)

Thoughts: I related to this fic on several levels because both characters are portrayed as neurodivergent in ways that felt very authentic, & I rarely see it done as well as it was here. I have ADHD, & Wei Ying's headspace felt extremely familiar, ha. Lan Zhan & Wei Ying's friendship was so lovely here, too. I adored their easy intimacy & how they were each other's favorite person before Wei Ying even realized he was in love with Lan Zhan. Oh yes, this is another fantastic oblivious Wei Ying/One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fic. The pining was perfect, & the overall sweetness of their relationship made this a very floaty/happy reading experience for me, personally.

5. Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60,318)

Thoughts: Continuing with the theme of One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again, this was a hilarious & heady fake dating scenario fic. His cluelessness reached new heights in this one, & I about died when he came up with the idea that naturally he & Lan Zhan should practice things like kissing for authenticity's sake. (Oh Wei Ying, you sweet summer child... he kills me; can you tell?) I loved how matter-of-fact Lan Zhan was about the whole thing, too. I laughed a lot during this fic. I even blushed a couple of times, too! Highly enjoyable & a must-read for me.

6. you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132,713)

Thoughts: None of the parents in this fic are doing a good job, but hey, they didn't in canon either, in my not-so-humble opinion. It's not what I focused on in the fic, but the tags certainly amused me. I haven't come across many texting fics in MDZS, so this was a pleasant & welcome surprise. The whole fic wasn't done through texting, but their text exchanges were SO CUTE. Lan Zhan texted exactly how I thought he would in this, & it made me laugh every time. The pining was lovely, & when they finally got to see each other in person again in New York I was glued to my computer until I finished the fic. I adored the tone of this one. It was great & just a really fun read.

7. and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106,435)

Thoughts: This was one of the most original modern AUs I've seen & featured competitive cultivation that had a Hunger Games meets professional figure-skating competition vibe. It was wild, but it made sense when I read it, I promise. The author was very good at fleshing out their world, & I was fascinated by the concept. Wei Ying once again failed to notice Lan Zhan was in love with him, & his confusion over their interactions never failed to entertain me. I never get tired of their dynamic, y'all, & it was just perfect here. I highly recommend this one.

8. Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128,916)

Thoughts: Ever seen So You Think You Can Dance or Strictly Come Dancing? This was basically that but Wangxian! Wei Ying was stunning as a professional dancer being handed a socially awkward, concert violinist Lan Zhan & having to teach him to dance in front of the nation for 12 weeks, & I absolutely loved Lhan Zhan in this. He was precious. The sexual tension during some of the dances was electrifying, & watching them fall in love over the course of the filming of the show was a delight to read.

9. Two Dollar Coffee by marizousbooty (E, 145,286)

Thoughts: I almost fell out of my chair laughing because how do you acquire an accidental sugar daddy?! Well, if you read this fic, you'll find out. One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again! Yeah, it's one of my favorite AO3 tags, so sue me, lol. The sex was obviously one of the highlights, which I am known to enjoy in a fic (don't judge me, Puritans), but it certainly wasn't the only thing that was well written here. I loved everything about this from beginning to end.

10. things that make it warm by yabakuboi (E, 33,327)

Thoughts: This fic hurt my feelings, not gonna lie. I cried ugly tears at the break up, but I've always had a hard time with reconciliation fics. It was very worth it, however. The way the fic covered their relationship growing & changing over time was very compelling, & a highlight of this for me was Wei Ying's relationship with the Wens, particularly A'Yuan. It was very sweet amongst an ocean of angst, haha. I read this in the span of a couple hours. Just couldn't be torn away. If you're a sucker for angst with a happy ending, then you might want to check this one out.

Honorable Mentions

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70,972)

Thoughts: This was so heartwarming I couldn't stop smiling over how adorable it was. Kid fics aren't typically a favorite of mine, but I do enjoy a really good one every now & then. This was one of the best I've read, to be honest. A'Yuan was the sweetest little angel, & he was so cute with Wei Ying spazzing out about every aspect of his care. Lan Zhan being the quiet, responsible source of reason & support was expected but of course always a welcome addition to the mix. Accidental Baby Acquisition isn't a tag I'd seen before, but it's a new favorite when it comes to Wangxian getting to be surprise parents together, haha.

undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282,452)

Thoughts: This is a two part series that tells the same story from each love interest’s point of view, a la Rivals by Reiya in the YoI fandom, which is one of my favorites of all time. Similarly, this story is also phenomenally written. I was sucked in immediately & read both fics over the span of like 3 days. I actually read Lan Zhan’s POV fic (the second in the series) in a single day. I was spellbound by the whole thing, couldn’t get enough. I highly recommend this. The characterizations are incredible, & the emotions are so intense I couldn’t help but feel everything right along with each of them as the story progressed.

My only word of caution is that if you have a hard time reading about Wangxian being intimate with people other than each other you might want to skim/skip those sections of the second fic like I had to. The author makes it fairly easy by giving a heads up in the author’s notes at the beginning of each chapter in which that occurs, which I very much appreciated.

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25,470)

Thoughts: This fic started with a very serendipitous first meeting between businessman Lan Zhan & Wei Ying, who he mistook for the (non-sexual) escort he'd hired for the evening. I nearly died of mortification right along with poor Lan Zhan when he figured out his mistake. Him confessing this to Wei Ying was painfully awkward & hurt my heart, but fear not! We all know I can't handle a fic without an eventual happy ending, haha. Watching their instant connection develop into something more was such a treat. I loved this fic quite a lot for it being a quicker read for me.

Multiphonics by androkastia (E, 63,705)

Thoughts: Wei Ying was such a lovable disaster in this (as he often is, bless him). Him & Lan Zhan both being in the orchestra was a fun idea, & I loved the author's choice of the harp for Lan Zhan's instrument. I thought it was very different from the usual violin or cello choice I've seen previously but still suited him perfectly. I also loved his overall characterization, down to his fashion sense being tastefully eclectic when his style is usually portrayed as very stuffy & conservative. I really enjoyed this college/university AU, & I've read quite a few of them at this point. So obviously this one stood out.

No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (E, 36,041)

Thoughts: Ah, finally! A soulmate fic. A Temnurus rec list really wouldn't be complete without at least one. This was a modern AU, which made it especially fun when their soul bond inexplicably manifested as they literally collided with each other on the sidewalk. It was painful watching them fumble for answers to why they suddenly knew things about each other they had no way of knowing only moments before, but the sweet conclusion made it more than worth the temporary angst.

A Haunting Love by Selenay (E, 64,621)

Thoughts: This was another very unique modern with magic AU, & I was nervous because Wei Ying was a ghost haunting Lan Zhan's new house in the quiet little town he moved to in order to write his next novel. Naturally Lan Zhan became ensnared by the mystery surrounding Wei Ying's departure. This had a very romantic feel to it, intensely poetic in a way that I found very alluring. There were even thriller-esque moments towards the end of the story, so it had a bit of everything, all of it equally satisfying to read.

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360,042)

Thoughts: This was an example of a cool MDZS-specific trope I hadn't seen before, & in it Wei Ying, the infamous Yiling Patriarch, was a cultivator who had achieved immortality (aka, he's OP as fuck but in a fun way). The great sects enlisted his help to win the Sunshot Campaign, & what did he demand in return? Lan Zhan's hand in marriage, of course! It was a fantastic slow burn in which poor Lan Zhan suffered the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband. An amazing & complex plot, chock-full of angsty goodness.

a place to hide (can't find one near) by yiqie (E, 76,091)

Thoughts: I'm giving y'all a heads up first thing that this fic pulled no punches when it came to the heavier subject matter covered in the tags & author's note. Some of the descriptions were fairly graphic, so please take care of yourselves when considering this one. That said, it was a powerful portrayal of someone suffering from mental health issues & the long & often complicated journey of healing. This one also happened to contain a love story so beautiful that I was brought to tears several times by Lan Zhan's patient & loving care for his most important person, nevermind all the times I cried at the sad parts! I found the emotional cost of those very much worth the payoff of their happy ending, which is why I just had to include this one.

Just You, Just Me (Just Us, Just We) by wincechesters (E, 19,777)

Thoughts: Lan Zhan thought his brother made him an appointment at an acupuncturist & was aghast when he discovered it was for a session with a professional cuddler instead! Enter Wei Ying, gratuitous cuddle therapy, & his usual chaotic charm. Poor Lan Zhan being so overwhelmed while also becoming hopelessly besotted made me laugh, bless his fragile little heart. This was an adorable & light-hearted fic that made me want to go back & reread it almost immediately, haha.

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63,439)

Thoughts: I absolutely loved this. It was pretty CQL (The Untamed) compliant & told the post-canon story of Wei Ying wandering alone as a rogue cultivator after the events of the show. Of course he was pining after his zhiji the entire time, so when he heard gossip that the Chief Cultivator might be married by summer's end it nearly undid him. The angst was excruciating, but at the same time, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fics somehow always manage to be fun at the same time. I've read several post-canon, wandering Wei Ying stories, & this one was particularly good.

#mdzs #the untamed #wangxian #lan zhan #wei ying #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian fic rec #one brain cell wwx is the best y'all #i love him sm #all of these are smutty #sorry not sorry #and the angst #oh god the angst #pls bring tissues #Temnurus rec list

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3mcwriting · 1 year ago

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Any Fan's Dream, Part 21

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @huntress-artemiss, @hoohoohope, @ourgoddessathena, @wiintaersoldier, @vine-enthusiast, @afraidofshrimp, @myfturn, @im-better-than-your-newborn, , @mjaudrey, @igotthisasajokeyetimstillhere, @starr60, @coldmermaidhologram, @daenerysluvrr, @viperchick47, @marvelwomen-arehot, @mynightandstars

So, recently this fic hasn't had much interaction, and I'm not sure why. One of you told me that it can be buggy and hard to reach, so I'm sorry abt that but if you ever wonder abt updates, I'm gonna start up dating every saturday. Just go to my masterlist, then to the afd masterlist and to the new chapter. Hopefully you're all able to find it now. This will be the last time I post the masterlist because it hasn't been working well.

Any Fan's Dream Masterlist

Synopsis:

When you look around and see Avengers Tower in front of you and Peter Parker beside you, you wonder how the hell you managed to get into the MCU.

Your migraine and your recent suffocation seemed to get along great (unfortunately for your head).

Your breathing was labored, your throat was aching and scratchy, and you were struggling to speak.

Overall, a great time.

You struggled to sit up against the cool cement ball behind you, head spinning as you did so. Finally managing to get your back to the wall, you tried to prop yourself up using it, slowly rising to your feet. You were disoriented, barely managing to keep your balance even with the wall supporting you. Your brain didn't seem to want to remember what had happened to lead to you waking up on the floor in pain but you forced yourself to remember.

The voice over the intercom, the lights going out, and someone pulling you away from your friends and suffocating you. Your entire body trembled at the memory of being so helpless while you were taken away from the people you cared about.

Now wasn't the time to think about that though, there were people talking in this room, you could hear them faintly.

You tried to say something, opening your mouth and hardly a noise leaving it. You began to panic, why couldn't you speak? You tried to clear your throat, the action only inciting more pain in the abused area.

You licked your lips, trying again.

Barely a whisper came out.

You took that as progress, trying again, this time your words coming out in a soft rasp.

"I-" you faltered, struggling to say the rest of the words. "I'm over here."

The voices stopped.

Rapid footsteps approached you, a lot of them. You could see them: Thor, Steve, Wanda, Bucky, and Clint, but the light from the glowing cells didn't reach you.

"(y/n), where are you?" Steve's voice was bordering on frantic. "(y/n)?"

"Here," you managed to force out the single word slightly easier than before.

Bucky was the first to find you, being more familiar with the room than the rest of the group. He had followed your voice, getting close enough to hear your labored breathing.

You could see the outline of his body and the faintest glint of light off his metal arm. You reached out, your fingers brushing the metal.

He stiffened. "She's over here."

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

You managed a raspy, "yes," barely managing to stay standing.

Bucky steeled himself, seeing how you struggled to stand upright, knowing you'd need someone to brace yourself as you moved. He wasn't great with people touching him, too used to the abuse that physical interaction was with Hydra.

Wanda found the two of you, deathly concerned for you. "(y/n), could I wrap an arm around you? We should get out of here."

You wanted to say that you could walk by yourself, but you were at the point that even you could admit that you needed help. "Yeah, go ahead."

Wanda felt her heart squeeze at your voice, but grabbed your arm, setting it over her shoulder while she wrapped an arm around your torso.

With Wanda's body supporting your own, you managed to hobble out of the shadows, the rest of them returning to the entrance of the room once they saw you.

Your legs were fine but your head was pounding almost as bad as it was when you'd first gotten the concussion. You were worried that if Wanda let go of you you would just crumple to the floor. Your head was bothering you so much that you missed the unconscious assassins on the floor until Thor began picking them up like sacks of flour.

For a moment you thought they were dead, but you saw the rise and fall of their chests after a moment. They weren't the only people you missed in your dazed state.

Your eyes went round when they landed on Scott and Sam who were flanking Zemo, the man in between them in restraints. He looked up as you emerged from the shadows with Wanda, feeling ashamed when he saw the state you were in.

"I apologize, (y/n)(l/n)."

"Don't speak to her." Wanda's eyes glowed red, like the warning light of an alarm.

She escorted you back to the entrance of the bunker, Thor following behind the two of you, ready to drop everything in case you needed extra help to walk (quite literally, he was ready to drop the four assassins stacked in his arms if you needed help).

As of that day hadn’t been bad enough already, somebody was waiting outside the entrance as the three of you exited the bunker.

You cursed in your head, remembering what was supposed to happen in this part of the movie.

T'Challa was supposed to find out that Bucky hadn't been the one to bomb the building that resulted in his father's death, but with your plot-changes, you had arrived before he did and he didn't know.

He was here for Bucky.

"Your majesty," you greeted, voice still fucked up, too soft for this situation. "There's something you need to know-"

You stopped, hearing the footsteps behind you and the way T'Challa had tensed. You turned around, seeing the rest of the group, both Steve and Bucky carrying an unconscious assassin.

Steve saw the king, looking in between his best friend and the man that wanted to kill him. "Bucky didn't set off the bomb, your majesty. It wasn't him."

T'Challa took his word with a grain of salt, knowing the extent to which he had already gone to protect his best friend and figuring that Steve would say just about anything to protect Bucky.

Too blinded by his own rage, T'Challa attacked, almost managing to slip past Steve to get to his true target. Steve dropped the person in his arms, stepping around them quickly and pulling T'Challa back before putting himself between the vengeful king and the tortured veteran.

Steve was fighting T'Challa, but he was fighting and losing.

His shield was still on his back and T'Challa wasn't allowing any time for him to grab it. Without the vibranium barrier, he was stuck with evading T'Challa's claws, no time to land his own punches on the man.

T'Challa was ferocious, driven by vengeful rage, but still fighting with the finesse you had seen in the movies. He didn't allow his emotions to cloud his mind because although he currently had the upper hand, he knew that the man he was fighting could overpower him if he got sloppy.

You watched in horror as Bucky joined the fight, knowing just how powerful T'Challa's determination was.

T'Challa's hand swiped at Bucky's throat, claws grazing his neck just barely, a line of red appearing as a shallow cut formed.

"Stop! Please!" You were desperate.

This couldn't be what happened.

"STOP FUCKING FIGHTING!! SERGEANT BARNES DIDN'T SET OFF THE EXPLOSION!" You were fed up. You did not go through an explosion, days on your feet with a concussion, and getting suffocated just for this shit to happen. "I WAS THERE, REMEMBER?? I JUMED IN FRONT OF YOUR FATHER! IT WASN'T SERGEANT BARNES!!"

Deafened by his own grief and anger, T'Challa continued fighting.

He saw it.

Bucky staggered, the snow messing up his movement. He managed to catch himself almost instantly, but T'Challa had already reached out, claws striking out like a knife.

"I SAID TO FUCKING STOP!" You jumped in the way before it could happen, unwilling to let James Buchanan Barnes die over a stupid misunderstanding.

T'Challa's eyes went wide when he realized what was happening, but his claws plunged into your skin before he could stop. He pulled back, but it was too late.

You looked down dazedly. "What the fuck."

And you passed out.

Wanda's voice was high with worry. "(y/n)! (y/n)!" She ran to you, stumbling in the snow and cursing the world.

"LADY (Y/N)!" Thor bellowed, rushing to you.

Bucky caught you.

You had shielded him, jumped in front of him, and took fucking knives for him.

Why?

The fight stopped, Steve running to you while Clint did the same and Sam started the quinjet so that they could get you out of there and to medical attention as fast as possible.

Steve's heart almost stopped.

There was so much blood.

You had been stabbed mostly in the arm, but also on the side of your torso. Two of his claws had punctured scarily deep into your arm, one had just barely grazed your arm, while the other had went deep into your side.

Steve took you from Bucky, cradling you in his arms while he sprinted to the quinjet. The rest of the team followed him, T'Challa watching regretfully. He had never meant to hurt you. He just needed Barnes to pay for what he'd done. But not you. You were the reason his father survived the explosion.

Half of him was urging him to run after Barnes, to get him and make him feel the pain T'Challa had felt when his father had been hurt. He had to stop himself, recalling what you'd yelled to make them stop fighting. Sure, you could've just been saying anything to get them to stop fighting, but he didn't think you were lying. After all, you were also injured in the explosion, and if Barnes was the man behind it, that meant you had just risked your life for the man.

Since the moment Bucky had seen you, you had instilled nothing but confusion within him. Who were you? Why were you so welcoming to him? Why were you so eager to help?

But at the moment, one question prevailed.

Why had you saved his life at the risk of your own?

Everything had been a blur during the fight, but he had immediately known what was going to happen the moment he stumbled in the snow. Sure, it had only slowed him down slightly, but he knew that that second would mean his death.

And while that should've scared him, he could only remember all the lives he'd taken. All the pain caused at his hands and the decades of torture he'd endured and the nightmares that made sleeping more than impossible.

After all the blood he spilled, he couldn't help but think that maybe it was a fitting way to die.

Violently, painfully--just the way he'd hurt so many others.

He thought that maybe he deserved it.

But instead of those claws plunging into his body, they went into yours.

You, the person he barely knew, the one he'd only just met.

Young, happy, with people who cared about you. He didn't know you well---he hardly knew you at all---but even he could see how much you cared about the people you surrounded yourself with.

So, yeah, maybe he did deserve to die in the way he'd killed so many others, but he knew you didn't deserve that fate.

"Tony-"

"What are you doing calling me? You've made it pretty clear-"

"For once in your life, shut the fuck up!" Steve was fed-up and worried. He had just lost Peggy, he didn't want to lose another person he cared about. "(y/n)'s hurt."

"She's hurt?" Tony instantly went serious. "How bad?"

"It doesn't look good," Steve was unsteady, hardly believing what was happening. "We're trying to get to a hospital but there's none anywhere nearby."

Tony hadn't had a good day in a while.

With the Accords announced and the problems that arose with that---with Steve---a rift had formed between the team. Not to mention how Steve's friend had bombed the signing of the Accords, only for it turn out that he had most likely been framed. And last, but most definitely not least, the leaking of the Accords had caused even more of a shitstorm.

Seeing some of the things that had been exposed, Tony was almost relieved. With the outrage the public was showing towards the Accords and the proof of the unethical aspects of it, all the governments behind the Accords were going to have to reevaluate their stance on it and figure out if they were worth the risk of uprising in their countries.

The Avengers had saved too many lives, inspired too many people, for those very people to allow their heroes to be treated like war criminals. That said, there were of course the people who still supported the Accords, but the number of those people were shrinking the more information was uncovered.

With the last week full of enough shit to fill up every Porta-Potty on the planet, Tony really shouldn't have been surprised that it would only get worse.

You were hurt.

And from the sound of Steve's voice, you were hurt bad.

Was it not enough that he had to deal with the fear and worry when you'd been caught in the explosion? This time, you weren't even with him. He couldn't help you at all. You were in pain and possibly dying and he was stuck waiting in his private jet for his phone to track Steve's so that he could figure out where you were.

Once his phone had pinpointed Steve's location, he instructed F.R.I.D.A.Y. to follow them until they caught up. But even going as fast as they were, he knew he wouldn't catch them for at least two hours.

"Tony, what happened?" Natasha was pretty sure she knew exactly what had happened, but she didn't want her suspicions to be true.

Peter already knew.

With his enhanced senses, he'd heard exactly what had been said on the phone.

You were hurt.

And he was useless to help you.

Thor looked up at Steve's words.

You were lain out on the floor, Wanda and Clint trying to stop your bleeding. You'd already lost a lot of blood, if they didn't get real medical help soon, he knew you wouldn't survive. If Steve was right and there weren't any hospitals nearby, you were doomed to death. After all, you were only human. If you had been a god you would-

Thor's eyes lit up, knowing exactly how to help you.

"I must take Lady (y/n)." Thor spoke, everyone looking to him. "I can get her help better than any human could provide." He was already moving to you, both Wanda and Clint hesitant to let him take you but too worried about what would happen to you if he didn't.

"What are you going to do?" Steve asked.

"Take her to Asgard."

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lumine-no-hikari · 5 months ago

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #184

When I woke up today, I wasn't in as much pain as I expected, given everything I did yesterday. I still didn't get quite enough hours of sleep, though, so I woke up with fuzzy soup brain. That is expected, though. It is allowed.

I had to get up early because I had an eye exam at 8:30 this morning. That means I had to wake at 7:30 so that I had enough time to get ready. J drove me there; I was aware that they were gonna dilate my pupils, and since pupil dilation leaves a person with impaired vision and increased sensitivity to light, it wasn't gonna be safe for me to drive back home.

Here's how that looks, in case you wondered:

I gotta have eye exams a bit more frequently than normal people. It's because of the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My collagen is defective, which means all of my connective tissue is defective, and since the retina is glued to the back of the eyeball with connective tissue, they gotta check to make sure it ain't falling off.

…It's pretty lame if you ask me. Sigh.

It takes a while for the dilation to wear off, and of course, you can't read or do anything until it wears off, because it messes with your vision. And since I was already tired anyway, I decided to take a nap, to give it time to wear off. It was a beautiful nap.

Once I was done, I began using the software that R gave to me in order to begin building… something. I'm not going to say exactly what just yet. But it should suffice for me to say that if you are not safe at the end of all this, I will build a whole world for you with my bare hands in which you will be safe, if I have to. I meant it when I said it. I am laying the foundations for what will likely need to be decades of work, if you don't make it through to the end of whatever it is that you're doing over at the Edge of Creation.

…My reason for getting employment is also going to be largely in service to this. I no longer have the skills to draw, but I know someone whose skills are unparalleled. I want them to create things for the purpose of building this world, and I want to be able to pay them fairly to do it. In the end, I intend for it to be a haven for every single version of you who is still lost in the dark. And already, I know exactly what I need to do; it's just a matter of gathering resources and getting it done. I will stop at nothing. Even if there are obstacles, it's just a matter of finding ways around them.

…And if you're wondering why… you saved my life. I'm not going to allow you to fade into nothingness or obscurity. Not until you are able to witness firsthand all of the ways that life can be beautiful.

But there's a lot that I must do. Some days, I'm not really sure where to begin. It's very daunting, and there are a lot of skills required for it that I simply do not have. But I can't do nothing.

…I can't do nothing…

Somehow, it's already past 10pm. I blinked and suddenly the day was gone. I'm not really sure how that happened, but it is what it is. Tomorrow, I go to the place of imminent employment in order to complete some paperwork; it's called I-9, and… I don't really care enough to understand it. I just gotta go and fill it out and then be done with it. Then I can return home and continue trying to build.

Suppose I ought to go to bed so that my brain is not made of fuzzy soup tomorrow, too. Today's letter is short, but that's only because there's so much that I cannot write to you about in this space, for fear of accidentally delegitimizing the safety I'm trying to strive for, for you. Popular opinion in my world about you and your circumstances seems to have a non-trivial effect on the outcome of events in your world, and this is very sad, because by and large, the people of my world are not very merciful or kind towards people who make mistakes, especially if they're autistic or if they've survived abuse, or if they deviate from what is considered "the norm" in any way.

Sephiroth. Please stay safe out there. Please make kind and good choices. Please take care of yourself, and please protect yourself, your planet and the people around you. I love you and I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

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unnervinglyferal · 1 year ago

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Speaking as someone who was born so premature I almost died, and had to live in an incubator in the hospital for a while as a result, I have some important info for you.

If your daughter was in hospital without either of you holding her for any length of time, she could have something that looks like abandonment issues, both now and when she gets older (you telling about how much she wants to be held made me think of myself). This isn’t because you or your gf have done anything wrong, or because there's something the matter with your daughter, it's just what happens when a newborn is kept apart from their parents for any length of time. What I remember specifically was being a *really*, like abnormally clingy kid, not wanting to be put down or left anyplace by myself for any length of time and crying my eyes out inconsolably if I was, and having a lot of difficulty sleeping by myself a long time after the age when most kids start to do that naturally (I shared a bed with my kid sister until I was 13, not because she needed the reassurance of having someone there but because I did).

I distinctly remember feeling absolutely, life-endingly *terrified* of something I couldn't explain whenever I was left alone or put to bed by myself as a kid, and not knowing what it was or how to ask for help with it. Looking back, what I was experiencing was an emotional/body-based flashback to being in the hospital without my parents, which my tiny body and brain experienced at the time as a life-threateningly traumatic abandonment.

What I needed from my parents as a kid was an understanding of what I was experiencing, and appropriate reassurance based in that understanding when I would cry inconsolably at being left alone or not wanting to be put to bed by myself. I used to come downstairs at night panicking about something I couldn't explain (I was subconsciously afraid I'd go downstairs and there would be nobody there. I still have nightmares, even now at 28, where I wake up in the morning one day and everyone has vanished from the world except me).

What I *got* from my parents ironically just made my abandonment issues worse; they either yelled at me or ignored me when I asked for hugs or general affection, and on one occasion just left me to cry for hours until I puked, presumably out of frustration that I wasn't acting like a normal kid and they somehow thought *more* pain on top of what I was already experiencing would snap me out of it. It pretty much did the opposite, and I'm now a messed-up adult in therapy with barely any relationship with my remaining parent and a laundry list of issues to do with sleep, safety, and relating to other people.

All I needed was consistent love, hugs, and patient reassurance with me for being a kid experiencing the world for the first time and not knowing what I was feeling, how to explain it, or how to stop it hurting. Just some understanding and reassurance, gentle guidance, unconditional love, and plenty of hugs when I wanted or needed them would've done a *huge* amount for healing the abandonment issues I have and helping me be happier and more functional as an adult.

It's too late for me to fix most of my shit, but it’s NOT too late for your daughter, especially since you guys are already making up for her time away from you by holding her a lot now etc. You're gonna be a great dad, and your gf is gonna be a great mum; you've got this dude.

Oh thank G-d I was already worried that I'm going to do something wrong by being too clingy to the baby myself. Thanks for telling me about this, we've got to look up about this more. And I'm taking this as a permission to absolutely refuse to put her down. I'm clinging.

My girlfriend's taking a break, she's letting me have the baby for myself for a while. Probably at least until it's feeding time again.

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musicalpancakes77 · 6 months ago

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Extremely interested in Ghost AU (the title so nice you say it twice lmao)

Hi Indigo!! omg the ghost au... god I haven't thought about it in so long, but as soon as you asked this and i saw it this morning I did indeed have so many thoughts about it 🥰 Thank you for asking!! This is gonna be slightly long I'm so sorry but stick with me LMAO

So the Ghost AU is a rather generic AU based off the peanut gallery from the movie Stardust- you know, the 2007 hit movie Stardust?? Surely we all know the one- but I say generic because I'm pretty sure at least half of the Ace Attorney fandom has individually, on their own time, went "Hey, what if Phoenix could see ghosts??" so like. It's really not THAT unique LMAO

But that's kinda what it is when you boil it down: an AU where Mia dies, befriends Greg in the "ghost world", and together the two of them have fun peanut gallery moments over the course of the OG trilogy. This is all possible by the magatama that Phoenix carries around of course; at first it's just their hushed voices, maybe a cold touch, but it develops into something more. By the time Phoenix starts cases from game 3 he begins to develop a more literal Sight for the deceased- I don't think the magatama cares who is using it, it doesn't discriminate, hell if Miles had it on him for long enough I'm sure he would have developed an ability to see them too. But in this AU it's just Phoenix dealing with joyful heckling from two more experienced (albeit dead) lawyers, Maya who complains it's so unfair that she's the spirit medium but she can't see them, Miles who would never believe this if you told him, and Pearls who is so happy to just be here LMAO

I never wrote more than about 7 pages in my document for this one- I barely got past the end of Turnabout Sisters 😭 I do still love the idea; if I were to ever come back to it I think I'd write it on a smaller scale than what my brain typically tries to achieve with fanfic (cough slowburn 100k stories COUGH) and I'd put a heavier importance on dealing with grief between all the comedic heckling 🤔

This is already one of my longer posts, but since you asked so kindly I can even provide a snippet or two, since I haven't talked about this AU in so long and there is an unfortunate chance it may never see the light of day again,,,

She wakes up to adrenaline, buzzing through her veins, with breaths that shouldn’t be choking in lungs that don’t exist. Her mind screams that there’s supposed to be pain- a single, blooming, unbearable pain in her temple- but miraculously, there is none. It’s just her, sitting in the dark, feeling like she’s having an out-of-body experience as her mind reels and reels over why she thought she was in pain, what she remembers, why she remembers being scared. It takes a few moments of hushed breathing for it to hit her. A hallowed clock, a wiretap, and a snake.

“I would ask how she can watch that episode for the seventh time in a row, but that would be redundant since I know for a fact that Miles has watched it at least twenty times.” Mia raises an eyebrow while Mr. Edgeworth hovers over the Wright & Co. office couch. Miles Edgeworth? Watching the Steel Samurai? At the same interest level or more than her literally obsessed younger sister, Maya? “Miles Edgeworth, your son, the Demon Prosecutor? Watching the acclaimed children's show The Steel Samurai? I’d sooner think he’d die than watch a show like that.” “Objection, Miles would rather die than admit to watching a show like that.” Mia sits on the statement. “... You’re fucking with me.” Maybe it’s the bluntness, maybe it’s the uncharacteristic use of language, but Mr. Edgeworth laughs to the point his hand meets his chest. Mia can’t help but giggle herself. Miles Edgeworth likes the Steel Samurai, who would have known.

That's about it; thank you again for asking!! It was a joy to explain <3

#my shy ramblings #sorry for the long post!!#i do love to gush about my writing but im always way too shy to just start talking on my own ueue #hopefully this was as interesting as the wip title suggested!! haha

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galaxyedging · 1 year ago

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Joel Miler x f!reader

WC:2.8k

Warnings: character death, angst, virginal fingering.

Summary: Finally getting back to Joel, you witness events that shake you all to your core.

More of Us Part 6

Masterlist

Coming to, your body checked in with your brain. Head, throbbing. Legs, aching. Hands, pins and needles. Mouth, metallic taste. Blood? No, not copper, something else. As your brain started to be more aware, your surroundings became apparent. Grey walls covered in dirt and mould. The smell of damp, dust and decay. The tiles and fixtures of the small bathroom, damaged and cracked. Broken, just like the rest of the world and the people in it. You were back in their nightmare world.

When you reached for the towel rail to pull you up, it came off in your hand with a clang. A clang that alerted Joel. His pistol came into view before he did.

"Joel! It's me." In a panic you tried to shrink away from him.

"Shit." Tucking his gun away he made his way over to you. "Baby. You're alive. You're here. I…" he blinked tears away as his hands skimmed over you, checking for injuries. "I thought I'd lost you. It's been days."

"I know. I thought I'd never get back to you. I kept moving forward though." Clinging to him, having his arms around you, even with all the insanity of the last few days everything felt right. No matter what universe you were in. In Joel's arms was where you belonged. The notion made you laugh, you barely knew the man but somewhere in your heart you knew it was the truest thing you had ever felt. You knew it with such conviction and clarity that it was actually more terrifying than anything you had been through the last few days. Now, you had something to lose that you valued more than your life. If you died, that was it. There was no pain. If Joel died, that pain would be worse than death. A loss that would leave a wound inside of you that would never heal.

"I'm so glad you did. Come on, let's go wake Ellie. She's been asking about you nonstop." Giving you one last squeeze, he helped you up from the floor.

The moment held so much joy and promise and that all changed in the blink of an eye. Joel opened the door then bolted out across the room. Henry stood in front of you, his gun at his side, his eyes wide in terror. The sounds of a struggle, of Ellie struggling, moved you forward. Standing just behind Henry as he moved forward you saw what was going on. The whole scene had you rooted to the spot. Sam. The little boy you'd met a few days ago. The one with bright brown eyes full of concern as you lay on the floor. The one who still hadn't seen enough in the cruel world he lived in to be desensitised to it all. The one who looked afraid for you, a stranger he had just met. That boy. He was attacking Ellie.

"Shit. He's turnin'!" Joel rooted for his gun.

Henry shot it from his hand before he got a chance to use it. "That's my fucking brother."

As Joel dove for his bag again, Henry raised his gun. Just as you stepped forward to try to protect Joel, Henry fired. This time at his brother. The boy choked on his own blood as Ellie crawled away from him to the safety of Joel's side. There was so much blood. It spread over the floor so quickly. He was only a kid. How was there so much blood?

"Sam?" Henry took in a ragged breath. "Sam?"

"Henry?" Joel stepped towards the younger man. "Henry. I'm gonna get that gun from you. Okay?"

All the while Henry had been muttering while softly sobbing. It took everything you had not to reach out for him. You couldn't imagine what he was going through. The cruelty of this world held no bounds. To lose his brother twice in mere minutes. He posture folded with the weight of it. It only straighten when Joel moved to take his gun. "It's your fault!"

Joel bowed his head. "It's nobody's fault, Henry."

"It's all your fault!"

The tension rose in the room, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, electricity zipped underneath your skin. No. Not now. You weren't going anywhere. Unless. Maybe you could take Henry with you so he couldn't hurt Joel? Your whole being felt like it was being split in two, the part of you that wanted to get as far away from here as possible and the part that wanted to stay with Joel. The sound of a gunshot merged the two back together. They both stood just behind Henry's dead body.

There should be so many emotions inside your chest. Fear. Sadness. Regret. Not one made an appearance. There was just a cold void. Looking down you saw your hands shaking. Hands that Ellie was soon grabbing at. "Take us back! Take us to your world. Do it!" Her anger at you soon melted into her sobbing in your arms. The two of you slid down to the floor. Numbly, you tried to soothe her while you watched Joel.

The deep brown eyes showed so much sorrow looking at the two dead boys in front of him. To Joel, Henry was still a kid himself. Joel didn't blame him for not being able to handle it. Shit, Joel himself had…his eyes landed on you and Ellie, looking even more sorrowful. For a moment, he stood over you. His hand hovered over Ellie's head as if he was going to offer the comfort of his touch. Clenching his fist, he thought better of it. Deciding to offer a different type of comfort he moved to Sam's body.

From your position on the floor, you watched as Joel lifted the young boy. He cradled him as if Sam had just fallen asleep on the couch and needed to be carried to bed. That's all Joel was doing, just letting the child finally rest. Tears flowed from your eyes, your grip on Ellie tightened as the shock wore off. You could have stopped this, you should have.

"Your turn." Ellie nudged your arm.

After nearly a week of spending most of the day walking, Joel decided you all needed a rest. He'd seen your reluctance but he hadn't addressed it.

Tapping the tiny pencil against your paper, you looked at the word staring back at you. "I really suck at this game. I'm gonna get some air. Maybe that will help me think." With the best smile you could muster, you made your way to the door.

Ellie silently urged Joel to follow you. While he did she looked down at your Boggle sheet. 'Fault' was neatly written at the top of the page.

"Hey. It's getting cool out here." Joel draped his jacket over your shoulders.

"Thank you." Tugging it close you revelled in the scent of him for a moment.

This past week, you'd kept your distance. He'd held you, as he'd escorted you out of that room. The room with their blood still fresh on the floor. Past their fresh graves. He leaned you against a car as Ellie went back to pay her respects. She returned looking just as determined as ever. He gave you a comforting squeeze as he helped you up then that was it. If Ellie can stand on her own two, you could too. The weight of feeling responsible for the loss of Sam and Henry was taking its toll. How long until something happened to one of them that you could have stopped? That thought kept you up at night. Then it branched out, spread like an infection. What if, just by being there, you changed everything? The game was based on a future that someone saw. What if that future was changing more and more with each second you were with Joel and Ellie? What if you caused things to deviate so much that you got one of them killed? Or both of them? What if it was left up to you to keep Ellie safe? What if Ellie dies because of you? It was all too much for you to take.

After a while passed in silence, Joel gently lay his hand on your shoulder. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours? Talk to me."

"I…I need to leave Joel. If I stay I could get you or Ellie killed." Heartbreak laced your tone.

"I could get me or Ellie killed. He'll, chances are Ellie will be the death of me. Whether by running off and getting into trouble or her attitude, I don't know." He leaned on the railings next to you, looking out onto the deserted motel parking lot.

"Joel. I'm not joking!"

"Neither am I."

"The game in my world is one possibility of your future. What if me being here changes that? What if I change what happens and you get hurt?"

Joel cupped your face in both of his hands. Flashes of raw emotion crossed his face before he setted on a smile. "What if you change it for the better?"

The kiss he pulled you into was all consuming. It pulled you out of everything. Out of your head until all you could think about was Joel.

A dull thud from inside broke you two apart. Ellie's face was in the window. Giving it a hard tug, she slid it open."Sorry. I knocked over a lamp. Anyway I'm going to my bedroom on the opposite side to yours. With me headphones in so I won't be able to hear any…stuff."

"Ellie! There won't be anything to hear." Joel authorities tone was undercut by the blush of his cheeks.

"Do you need one of Bill's magazines to remind you how to…?" Ellie had the good sense to retreat as she made that comment.

The two of you laughed, when it petered out there was a comfortable silence. Joel had made you feel comfortable since the moment you met him. Tugging the lapels of his jacket, he pulled you in for another kiss. Just a soft, fleeting touch of his lips.

"Come on. Let's get you inside."

Joel went around securing the room, some previous occupant had already done a pretty good job. Ellie was already asleep when he came to your room.

"You alright? Do you need anything?" The room was relatively clean. It felt secure. The mattress on the floor could have been thicker but it was better than the floor.

"I'm okay. I don't think I need anything." One thing did occur to you. The comfort that Joel brought. "Can you sleep in here?" Joel had planned to sleep on the sofa in the living room.

The room you were in was at the end of the first floor. Ellie's room was on the outside, the windows were all barricaded. The window of your room was right next to the front door. It would be safe enough for him to sleep in here. More importantly, he wanted to be in here with you. It had been a long time since had let himself want anything.

He let that want reach out for you. He kissed like you were the last good thing in this world. His hands trembled as he he used them to memories your curves. Nothing good lasts in the world. Joel understood your fears about getting him hurt. He carried the same one's about you. Was it him that was keeping you trapped here? He saw the weird energy snapping around you when Henry had his gun pointed at him. He saw you take a breath and it dissipated. It was something he was going to have to face but not right now. Not with you, warm and eager under his touch. Not while cock swelled so quickly at your soft gasps.

"Can I touch you?" His warm breath tickled the hairs on your neck as he kissed up it.

Your breathless reply of "God, yes." pulled a chuckle from him.

His wide palm slid down across your stomach until his fingers smoothed across your pubic hair. Suddenly, thoughts of your personal grooming invaded your head. It's been a while since I neatened up. The man lives in the apocalypse. I'm sure he's seen worse on other women. I wonder how many? Will I compare…ooh.

Joel's finger tips parted your folds. They found the slick gathered at your entrance before spreading it around. He lightly traced your lips to warm you up, before seeking out your clit. Softly circling it until he was satisfied, he dipped his fingers lower, finding you open for him. Two thick fingers searched for your sweet spot as his thumb swiped your clit. There was nothing else you could think of in the world. No one had ever touched you like this. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Your shoulders lift off the thin mattress as your orgasm rolls through you. Turning your body towards the source of your pleasure, you covered your mouth with Joel's broad shoulder to muffle the sounds. When he didn't stop his movements, making every delicious feeling even more intense you bit down on the soft flannel of his shirt. The europhia caused you to giggle uncontrollably.

"Better?" Joel asked, kissing your temple. Easing his hand out from between your legs, he did your jeans back up. Then he pulled you closer. Close enough for you to feel him heavy against your thigh.

"Much. Do you want me to…?" Your fingers traced the outline of him straining against his denim while stifling a yawn.

"Not tonight. You just sleep."

#the last of part 1 #the last of us au #pedro pascal character fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you

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tbnrpotato · 7 months ago

Text

Our Own Choices

Chapter 6

Everything's blurry when I wake up. I see bright lights shining onto me, and when I turn my head to the left I see some medical droids scanning me. I try to move, but my body won't listen. I'm panicking.

Why won't my body move?

The only thing that I can move right now is my head, and that hurts about as much as the rest of my body. I look around the medbay, there's no one else here.

Echo...

I see Rex walk into the medbay, and he takes a seat beside the bed I'm in, and he grabs my hand. He doesn't make eye contact with me.

He looks worried. Did I make him angry?

I look up at him. "...Dad?" My voice is shaky, it's just slightly louder than a whisper.

"Hey ad'ika." Rex looks up at me. "You had me worried over there."

Please don't give me a lecture, I don't think my brain can handle this shit right now.

I think Rex can read my thoughts, because he gives me a tired smile. "I'm just glad that you're safe, kid."

"Why can't I move?" I try to move again, but it's not working. I'm not going to be like this forever, right? This is gonna go away...right?

Rex sighs. "You took a pretty bad hit back there at the Citadel, it's a miracle that you're still alive. You have some bruising on your spine that's causing temporary paralysis, according to the medical droid over there, but it'll go away eventually."

He forgot to add the "I think" at the end of the sentence.

"Where's Echo?"

Rex sighs again. "Kid...Echo's gone."

I try to raise my head up from the bed, but a sharp pain shoots through my skull and I wince, resting my head back onto the bed. Rex gives me a slightly concerned look.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GO BACK FOR HIM?!" I raise my voice as loud as I can, which isn't very loud.

Rex looks down. "Kid, we couldn't go back for him, there was no chance of saving him."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAVE ME? WHY ME AND NOT HIM?!"

"Kid-"

"HE'S THE ARC TROOPER NOT ME! HE'S MORE VALUABLE, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM?!"

"Kid, we couldn't find his body. He's completely gone."

I rest my head back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "How long was I out for?"

"4 days," Rex replies, his grip on my hand is still tight. "Medical droid's been taking out shrapnel from your body, they're almost done, but they're gonna remove the last bits in a while, okay?"

I nod. "Where's my armor?"

"It's in the barracks, don't worry about it."

"My knife?"

"You lost it during the blast, we'll get you a new one once you're healed, don't worry about it."

I fall silent, and Rex and I just stay there for a while, until Rex stands up. "They're gonna take the last bits of shrapnel outta you, I'll come back in a bit when they're done, alright ad'ika?"

I nod, smiling slightly.

"Be careful with her," Rex says to the medical droid, before leaving the medbay.

The medical droid gives me the anesthesia to knock me out before the surgery, and it feels like only seconds after that I wake up.

For the next few months, I'm forced to stay in the medbay. Rex visits me at least once a day, if he's on a mission he usually gives me a transmission. Sometimes Fives comes along with Rex, and they both tell me stories about their missions, and the exciting stuff that happened.

Fives also made it to the top 5000 players in Legendary rank in Call of Duty, and now I'm at a lower rank than him, which is definitely not something I like.

I can barely move my body, but I can move my fingers slightly.

Fives and Rex are always telling me that I'll recover soon, but I've been starting to lose hope. It's already been a few months, and I almost no better than I was when I arrived at the medbay.

It's so boring in the daytime, I have nothing to do, so I just stare at the ceiling, thinking of storylines, I've made up quite a few. There's this one where I crossed over this world and Ninjago and the movie Pacific Rim, where General Skywalker and Commander Tano piloted one of the giant robots called Jaegers along with my original character and some of the other people from Ninjago that Rex told me about. I even made up names for the Jaegers. Titan Grave, Striker Phoenix, Dark Interceptor, and Challenger Rex (Named after you know who). I even made up a name for the story, it's called Cancelling the Apocalypse.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if Echo survived, but I try not to think about it too much. Would he be in my situation, paralyzed like me? It would be nice to have someone to talk to in the medbay.

The nights aren't any more enjoyable than the day. I always get nightmares of the explosion, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night, sweating. Rex seems to have noticed this, and he says that I have dark circles under my eyes, and he always asks if I get enough sleep at night.

One time, Rex and Fives came back from a battle on Umbara, and they told me about this Jedi General who was making men die on purpose, and how they killed the Jedi.

Rex and Fives stay with me through the night. As usual, I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, breathing heavily. Unfortunately, Rex and Fives aren't heavy sleepers, and the moment they hear me wake up, they do the same.

Rex squeezes my hand gently. "You're okay kid, it's just a nightmare." I nod, still sweating, squeezing his hand back with the limited movement of my fingers.

A few weeks pass, and I've been able to move my limbs slightly, and I can turn my body now. I can sit up shakily in my bed, sometimes being able to slowly type out my stories on a holo-pad that Fives gave me, it takes me about a few hours to write a chapter. I tried playing Call of Duty ranked once, but my fingers can't move fast, and my team lost.

I've been discharged out of the medbay, and I'm in a wheelchair, I can't walk. Rex says that I've visibly grown thinner, I have no appetite. I don't really wear my armor anymore, I'm mostly just wearing my hoodie.

Rex has been trying to get me to walk again, but it's not working. I've managed to take a few shaky steps, and that's with my arms supporting me. My arms aren't doing any better either, I've lost so much muscle, I can barely support my own weight with them.

I keep asking Rex whether I can get back to physical training, but he keeps saying that I gotta recover fully first, which is annoying as hell.

A few more weeks pass, every day Rex or Fives or sometimes even Commander Tano try and help me to walk again, but every time, after a few steps, I fall to the ground, shaking.

I don't wear my helmet around her anymore, I trust her enough to not snitch. Not that Rex even allows me to wear my helmet anyways.

Rex comes back from Onderon in a few days, and as usual, he brings me to the training area and lets me use the wall to support myself and try to walk.

"What's the point of this?" I ask Rex as he extends a hand to help me stand.

"Ad'ika..."

I stare blankly ahead, as usual. "We've been doing this for weeks, and I can barely take a few steps without collapsing. Not to mention, I can barely hold a gun steady, and ECHO'S GONE."

"Kid...just trust me on this, okay?"

I roll my eyes and grab his hand, helping myself up and leaning against the wall. My legs are shaking, but at least they've been shaking less for the past few days.

If you wanna get back to the field, you better fucking be able to walk, how else are we gonna avenge Echo?

I think about this every time I try to walk. I feel the urge to kick clanker ass, I wanna make them pay for what they did to Echo.

I manage to take the first few steps with one hand against the wall, supporting myself, like usual, and then now comes the part where my foot doesn't wanna move forward and I start feeling the resistance, it's less than usual today.

I see Rex staring at me from the side. I take a few deep breaths.

Just get this over and done with...

I take a shaky step, closing my eyes and trying to relax. I can almost see the explosion that killed Echo and made me like this, I clench my fist, shutting my eyes tighter.

I take another shaky step, and take my hand off the wall. My legs are shaking more.

Fuck my legs bro.

I force myself to take a few more steps, it feels like my legs are gonna give way soon, I lean against the wall, I can feel sweat running down my forehead.

I clench my fist again, and force myself to release my grip on the wall and take a few more steps. They feel lighter than the first few, and it's getting easier now, still slightly shaky.

I glance at Rex, he nods at me, and I take a few more steps, less shaky now. I speed up my steps, they're getting easier and easier, and soon I'm running around the place, feeling the wind in my hair, laughing for the first time in months.

And then I run over to Rex and hug him, and he's slightly startled and pats me on the back awkwardly, before hugging me back after a few moments.

"Thanks dad," I bury my head into his shoulder.

"Your welcome, ad'ika."

I can feel him smiling, and he hugs me tighter.

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