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junvibing · 4 months ago

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Artfully Yours

pairing: art major renjun! x fem!reader; youtuber!renjun

warnings: lots of art and ramen, renjun is very much in love, college

summary: Renjun wants to get you something special for your birthday. He has two problems though: 1. there's not much time left, 2. he's a perfectionist. But hey, at least Chenle gave him the perfect idea. Now, he only has to finish in time and hope you'll love it.

wc: 12.5k

a/n: I've been working on this on and off for around a year lol. Anyways I really like it and I hope you do too! Leave me feedback haha this is my first long fanfic and honestly it's special to me :') <3

song recommendation: Like we just met - nct dream

credit for art inspo: matlagesilke3 on pinterest

The second Renjun got home, he prepared to spend the rest of the day working on a drawing. Since it's due for tomorrow's Drawing II class, he really needs to put his energy into finishing it today. His art projects are often accompanied with him staying up into the nights to perfect them. Sometimes while painting his thoughts drift away and he starts thinking about other things. This tendency surely adds to him staying up late but for today he hopes he’ll be able to finish before midnight. That’s why Renjun starts gathering his materials quickly before sitting down at his desk. His room is a little messy but college is stressful and an art major is no exception. Especially since he is somewhat of a perfectionist but he couldn’t imagine studying anything else other than art. For as long as Renjun can remember, he was always interested in it. The way colors dance on the paper, the way they blend into each other or how he can create anything he wants and get lost in the process - he just loves it. One of his favorite things is to try out different art mediums and see how they work, how comfortable he could get with them and if he’ll resort back to them in the future. Over the years, he discovered that he loves painting with oil paints and watercolors the most as they bring him great joy and the best results. Both mediums can be tricky at the beginning and it wasn’t much different for him when he started out but proper practice helped a lot. However, Renjun also enjoys drawing on his tablet, which is especially useful if he wants to post his work online.

In his opinion, art is meant to be shared and what better way is there to reach lots of people than sharing it online? That's why he had started to post his art on Twitter when he was still in middle school. Whenever someone retweeted his art, he felt so elated, it pushed him to continue sharing his work. In high school he even started exploring with posting videos on YouTube, all related to art of course. Jisung, his classmate and one of his best friends, had encouraged him to just go for it and soon enough his other friends had joined in. Thinking back to his very first YouTube video, Renjun lets out a chuckle. Dang, I was so nervous. Shaking his head, he continues sketching. The thing is he never used to show his face on Twitter, it was all about his art and creativity but with the encouraging words of Jisung and his other friends, he dared to show his face on YouTube, alongside his art of course. The first video Renjun ever posted was of him drawing Moomin fan art. Over the years, his channel actually gained quite a bit of attraction and while in high school, he would often daydream about making money with his artwork even though he knew his parents wouldn’t really support him in pursuing such a career. As far as Renjun knew, his parents wanted him to get a “real” career. But he spent most of his free time either with his friends or sketching, drawing and painting.

I still do that. Renjun sits at his desk, room dimly lit and pencil in his right hand. But y/n’s in the picture as well now. He grew up with art and it accompanied him throughout his ups and downs. He loves being creative, that’s why he had decided to go through with applying for a fine arts major when the time came around. However, his parent’s opinion and support was important to him. So at the time, he had a serious talk with them. Renjun knew they only had his best interest at heart. Naturally, they want him to be successful in life and it’s important to his parents that their only child has a good and comfortable life. They imagined for him to pursue a high paying, high status job like being a lawyer. His parents couldn’t picture how studying art would provide him with something like that. To them, pursuing an art career was too unstable, too risky. But Renjun managed to show them different ways in how he actually could be successful with it. He would do internships, could go into graphic design, could become an illustrator or go as far as to become an art instructor. There are different paths he would be able to take that would pay him well and hearing that eventually convinced his parents. Of course, Renjun had been overjoyed about that. He still is actually. All his life, art was one of the things that brought him the most happiness and his parents supported him in pursuing it as a career. What else could he wish for?

Turns out, there really was something else he could have wished for. He only knew it after you entered his life though. Renjun occasionally thinks back to how you two met. Out of nowhere, his mind sometimes drifts to the first time he saw you. Just like right now. The window in his room lets little light shine through, the sun is almost fully set at this point and the only other light source is the lamp on his desk, illuminating a bottle of milk and a few pieces of fruit. Renjun’s project for tomorrow is a still life, an art depiction of inanimate objects. It is pretty normal for him to drift off when he was monotonously sketching away, which is exactly what he is doing right now. His pen glides easily on the paper in front of him while he thinks back to his second semester. Renjun never really used to be a person who obsessed over relationships. His mind was filled with other things like ideas for art videos. In fact, he actually used to be the type who didn’t believe in love at first sight, which Jaemin thought was crazy by the way. But you kinda proved Renjun wrong.

He still remembers the day clearly. It was fall and Mark invited you to come hang out with the boys. The dreamies, as Haechan likes to call their friend group, were still great friends even if they didn’t see each other everyday like they did back in high school. Mark actually mentioned your name before, it wasn’t your first time hanging out with the boys either but the few times you were with them, Renjun couldn’t make it, so he only officially met you in his second semester. Crazy, almost two and a half years ago. He can still remember exactly how he reacted to seeing you for the first time. The second Renjun’s eyes landed on you, the things and people around him somehow were moving in slow motion. To say he was intrigued by you would’ve been an understatement. You looked so mesmerizing, smiling at whatever Jisung was saying while the evening sun hit your face in the most beautiful way. Renjun felt like he was looking at the prettiest painting he ever laid his eyes on. All the beautiful, intricate art he saw over the years didn't compare to you and he immediately wanted to introduce himself. From that day onwards you joined his dear collection of things he loves to draw the most.

It actually didn’t take long for Renjun to ask you out as there was no way he would be able to let you slip through his fingers. Over the years, your relationship has been going strong. Just like art you've become a constant in Renjun’s life that he wishes to never lose. With time, he even introduced you on his YouTube channel. It took a little convincing but after a while you were able to put your shyness away and join him in a vlog. Renjun smiles, thinking back to your first video together. Back then, he had decided to participate in the challenge of drawing under a blue light and you tagged along in his vlog at the beginning. It was fun for both of you and Renjun’s subscribers enjoyed seeing you guys together. The comments were flooded with how cute the two of you were and requests for you to join him more on his channel. But for today, Renjun's plans don’t include any art challenge. It’s time to finish this still life. He needs the day tomorrow for something else, something more important.

The next day, with a fresh mind and his still life finished, Renjun prepares for a different project. There is still a bit of time left before he needs to get to class, so he wants to use it to start before it's time to turn in his still life. Renjun has something special planned for you. Your birthday is just around the corner and he had been unsure on what to get you. Last year he got you a beautiful necklace with a butterfly charm. “To show you my appreciation” is what he had said when putting it on you. Renjun never wanted to stop feeling warm and fuzzy inside when he was with you. For this year’s gift, he was thinking about decor for your dorm room since you moved recently. Yet for some reason, whenever he was strolling through stores, keeping an eye out for a suitable gift, he felt like nothing fit perfectly. You don’t really need a new rug or pillows. Your room is already decorated with various plants. Just getting you a few scented candles like Mark suggested was too plain. Getting a mug was out of the question as it’s not special enough for you. Not to mention a mug technically isn’t decor. Although it could be. However, Renjun wanted to get you something special, something that shows he put thought into it and when speaking to Chenle about it the other day, he suggested the perfect idea: painting you a picture.

Naturally, Renjun drew small pictures for you over the course of your relationship and you cherished every single one of it but he never created a proper painting for you. Almost outrageous, how come he never did that for his girlfriend? Even Jeno did it at some point for his girlfriend. Or tried at least. Nevertheless, she loved it and Renjun still remembers your reaction actually. You and her go way back, having met during middle school. Naturally, you only ever wished the best for your best friend. So of course, seeing her that happy about Jeno’s gift, had put a smile on your face. You even laughed a little, seeing her show it off to the others. Thinking back, that should’ve been Renjun’s first clue to paint you something for your birthday. But at least he came around now, even if it is a little overdue. As soon as he had decided to paint you something to put on your wall, he had brainstormed for ideas. His still life project got in the way so he couldn’t start earlier but today is finally the day he can turn his draft for your gift into the beginnings of a painting. Last week, Renjun sat down and thought about what he wanted to paint for you and since the painting is supposed to fit your room well, he had decided to go with an enchanted forest. He feels like it would complement the various plants in your room nicely. A dark forest with colorful sparks throughout would be the perfect eye catcher for your plain white dorm wall. He had decided to draw two particular trees to accentuate the centerpiece of his painting: a magical path that’s curving to the right. Renjun feels very confident about the idea, so much so that he had decided to film a YouTube video around it: “Painting for my gf’s birthday”, where he documents the process of his painting and captures your reaction to the present.

That’s why he sits in his chair right now, camera on his desk and films himself. His subscribers will surely enjoy seeing this. “Hi painters, so my girlfriend’s bday is just around the corner and I’ve been struggling quite a bit with finding a gift. I can’t just get her an ordinary gift, you know me. So I was thinking and searching and man almost gave up but my friend literally saved the day.“ Renjun salutes to the camera. “谢了, 哥们.“ ”So anyway, I decided to go with his idea of painting for her, hence this video. I was brainstorming in advance and already did a vague sketch of my idea.“ Renjun holds his sketchbook into the camera so his viewers can see the enchanted forest. “You can see it’s supposed to be a forest. I wanna add different colored sparks to it and make the path here a blueish white to give it a fairy, enchanted type of feel.” Renjun traced the path with his finger and then mentioned two particular trees. “The big trees in the front that bend over and form a heart accentuate the magical path nicely. I also added a little pond. I really like it and I think y/n will like it as well.” Renjun adjusts the camera to show his canvas and him. For the next thirty minutes, he hunches over his desk, sketching his draft carefully onto the canvas. Since this is supposed to be the centerpiece of your wall, Renjun bought a big canvas last week. It is supposed to be an eye-catcher after all. As the time passes and he finishes sketching, he stands up to look at his work. “Okay that’s good enough.” Renjun looks into the camera. “I’ll stop for now cause I have class in about forty minutes. But I’ll see you later tonight when I continue. Y/n’s bday is literally in 9 days and you know how it goes with oil paints, long drying times. So I need it to be done one day before her bday, meaning there’s no time to slack off.” Renjun takes the camera into his hand and smiles before moving his hand in front of the lens. “Only the best for my babe.”

Hours later, Renjun is setting up his camera again. After his last class for today, art history, he got some lunch with the boys in the dining hall. Mark and Haechan had class though, so the group wasn’t complete. The boys catched up a little but Renjun didn’t want to spend too much time eating. There was still a project awaiting him at home after all. That’s why he only had a small chicken salad. Jaemin talked about how his professor has been kicking his butt with reading assignments for class and to be fair, Renjun could understand. There was just something unpleasant about having to read two 15 page papers about the causes and consequences of the French revolution. But Jaemin chose to major in history education. Although Renjun knows it’s not Jaemin's fault for having an unpleasant professor. Chenle, however, hadn’t been that interested in his friend’s distress. “Glad I don’t have to deal with that”, is what he had said. “Yeah, you need to deal with statistical models dude, gross” Jaemin really doesn’t like math. But, the boys were all able to agree that college workload is a lot, whether one studies education or economics. “Chill guys”, Jeno had taken a bite of his pizza slice, “Jun, how’s it going with y/n’s gift?” Well, Renjun still has lots to do, which is why he had used that opportunity to briefly explain his progress and bid his friends goodbye to go straight to his dorm.

“I’m back, people. I turned in a project and I had art history today which wasn’t so great. It has the touch of being boring sometimes but it’s okay, let‘s continue.” Renjun turns his camera to show the sketch he made earlier today. “This is what we’re working with. It’s time to bring some color into this. I don’t wanna waste much time, so let’s begin.” He pulls his easel out and places the canvas on it. The camera is pointing at him and the canvas again but this time he is standing in the middle of his room. After opening a window, he starts with mixing light gray and dark brown. Oil paints don’t have the nicest smell, so it’s good to have a window or two open while painting. This way, Renjun can maximize the time he is able to paint before getting a headache. “Since I don’t have much time for this painting, I’ll use a fast drying medium. Hopefully this way the painting will be dry on time for y/n’s bday.” Renjun starts with a medium sized brush to paint a thin layer of light gray on the middle of his canvas, where fog would later shine through the trees. The next step is to use brown to block in the general shape of the trees. The two bend trees forming a heart take up quite a bit of space on the left and right side of his canvas. Later on, he wants to spend time on the details to tie everything in. Renjun, like most artists, finds it better to start with the general shape of things and work himself up to the smaller, more detailed parts of a painting.

After almost two hours of painting, he takes a small break to get a snack. I should still have a pack of ramen left somewhere. Of course, only if his roommate Jay didn’t eat it. After locating the ramen and preparing it quickly, Renjun places his camera in front of him. “As you can see, I took a break guys. I’m sitting in the kitchen right now since I don’t want to expose myself to the smell of the paint unnecessarily. I only have a little bit of the background left. So, I think I should be able to finish in about twenty minutes or so.” Renjun turns his camera off to continue eating. Conveniently enough for him, you video call him while he's still eating. So, he wasn’t rushed to get out of his room to hide his painting from you. Renjun answers your call while positioning his phone against the fruit bowl on the table. “Hi babe, hold up.” After his phone is stable, he smiles at you. “How was your day?” Seeing Renjun after a long day makes you sigh and smile at him. You just wanted to see him and hear his voice for a while to feel better. “Exhausting, I had so much class today and work was a mess.” You pout. You work at a coffee shop downtown a few days a week to save up some money. Sadly, more often than not, you have to deal with difficult customers. “I’m sorry to hear that, love. Did you just get home?” You nod. It is way past nine in the evening and you were ready to go to sleep in a bit, ideally with Renjun cuddling you but that won’t happen today. “Jun, how come you’re eating at this hour?” You know he doesn’t usually eat this late as he doesn’t like to go to bed with a full stomach. Renjun quickly tries to come up with a plausible answer. He doesn’t want to tell you that he spent a good portion of the day painting your gift. “I had a bit of a light lunch today, went out with the boys but didn’t eat too much.” That technically wasn’t a lie either. During lunch he was eager to go back home to paint your gift but the boys insisted he ate at least something before spending hours on it. Renjun and you spend the next ten minutes talking, before he sents you a kiss through the camera and you hang up for the night.

After washing his bowl, he goes back to his room. He could feel a headache approaching but was determined to finish the background today. Soon enough, around thirty minutes later, Renjun picks up his camera again. “I’m finished with the background guys. This is how it looks so far.” He turns the camera to show the canvas in detail and zooms in a little. At this point, it looks like a simple foggy forest with tall, leafless trees. Renjun will worry about the details later, for now this is good enough. “Quite simple but that’s fine for today. Hopefully it’ll be dry by tomorrow so I can continue after classes. See you then.” Renjun quickly changes into his pajamas and brushes his teeth to go to bed but not before making sure to keep his window open.

Wednesday morning comes around and Renjun wakes up in his chilly room. He doesn’t mind it that much since he needs to get to class soon anyway. His Wednesdays are usually packed with classes. But thankfully, they are ones he mostly enjoys, Ceramics, Contemporary Art, Digital Media and lastly Painting II. After quickly eating breakfast and getting dressed, he was ready to start the day. Today, Renjun and you are actually planning to get lunch together. Wednesdays and Fridays were set dates where you would either hang out in between classes and snack on a few things or eat lunch together. Renjun loves doing small, simple things with you like snacking on sandwiches together. Since you’ve been busy lately with your part time job at the coffee shop, he hasn’t been able to spend lots of time with you. He made an effort to show up at your workplace every other day or so but seeing you for fifteen minutes just wasn’t enough, which is why he looked forward to today. As soon as his fourth class finishes, he makes a beeline to the door.

You were supposed to meet next to the library and just as agreed he sees you standing there, smiling down at your phone. You’re wearing one of his hoodies and jeans, quite simple but you still manage to look great. As if you had a feeling he was coming your way, you look up. Renjun kisses your cheek, “Hi love, missed you.” He holds out his hand for you. Putting your hand in his, you start walking towards a convenience store nearby campus. “Junnie, how was class? Did you manage to finish your charcoal drawing from last week?” A few weeks ago in Painting II, Renjun's professor introduced the topic of shading with paint. His professor gave a deadline of one week to turn in a small charcoal drawing and today they had the first hour of class to finish it. The assignment was only intented to be a supplementary technique though. It would help to understand contrast and value as a basis for shading with paint. Charcoal isn’t a medium Renjun uses often, so he chose a somewhat simple object to draw, a vase full of your favorite flowers, tulips. “Yeah, I managed to finish it within the last ten minutes. The shading was a little tricky though. I’m not too satisfied with it but you know my perfectionist self.” Renjun smiles sheepishly. You know he takes his art seriously and has a tendency to focus a little too much on the details. Sometimes he would ask you to have a look at this work since your input helped him and over time he learned that looking at his art with a fresh set of eyes always worked. Nevertheless, in your opinion, he always manages to create something that was beautifully executed.

On the way to the supermarket you tell him about your day, how boring class was and how your professor gave you tons of reading material for the next class. Renjun knows you have a thing for reading, hence your English literature major but he never understood how you were able to survive reading so much for your degree. He enjoys reading from time to time but having to read pages upon pages of who knows how old literature and analyzing it all in class never had much appeal to him. Nevertheless, he listens attentively to you and after you both get some snacks that Renjun kindly carries, you walk back to campus to your favorite spot near the economics department. Just a few minutes away from the main building were a few benches looking out at the gardening club’s flower field. You and Renjun love to sit on one of them and enjoy the beauty of different flowers together. Thankfully, one of the benches isn’t occupied so you both can sit down and enjoy your break together. Every year, the gardening club arranges their flowers in different themes. A few months ago in summer the theme was “beach sun set”. For this, their flower field basically consisted of flowers in three colors: blue, orange and yellow. Since the season has already changed, a new theme is in place at the moment. This winter, the gardening club focussed on winter themed food by using white and red roses arranged in a way that looked like a candy cane and so on. Renjun likes the idea of different themes, it was nice to see the club have fun with being creative. In a way they're creating their own art.

An hour later, Renjun walks you to your next class and squeezes your hand lovingly before making his way home. He is happy that he got to spend some quality time with you, even if it wasn’t very long. While walking back, he is mentally preparing a list of what he needs to paint next for your gift. Since the background was finished and hopefully dry, the next step would be to go into more detail by giving the trees more depth, properly outlining their roots and branches. Renjun also wants to add more color accents to the trees by painting green and slightly bluish leaves. He wants to mimic moon light shining through the forest. It would cast onto the leaves of the trees and give them a light blue tint. As soon as Renjun arrives home, he continues filming his painting process. “Hi painters, I’m back for the next round. Right now it's Wednesday afternoon, meaning I have exactly 6 days left for this painting to finish, so it can still dry in time. Let's go!” The next hours of Renjun’s day consisted of his open window, the smell of oil paints and color on his fingers. At one point, he did actually take a small break to eat, even his roommate Jay made an appearance. Renjun gets along just fine with him but both prefer to stay in their respective rooms, meaning they don't see each other often. He literally is just his roommate, still a cool guy though. One time Jay even asked him for some art advice. Renjun didn't really imagine him to be the type of guy to be interested in art, but turns out he wanted to try out something new. Of course, Renjun was happy to help and advise. Maybe this time for his painting he would ask Jay for his opinion.

Thursday flew by him it seemed. Renjun got in and out of class, worked on another assignment and met up with the dreamies. He didn’t continue to paint on the canvas because it was still too wet. Time is worrying him a little bit since the paint takes longer to dry than he likes and he still needs to do quite a bit. But he'll push through. Renjun is determined to finish your gift one day before your birthday and there's no way he'll give you an unfinished painting.

The next day, your Friday lunch break falls short because of an essay you have to finish. However, this gives Renjun more time to perfect his painting for you, which he feels like he really needs. He spent so much time working on it, yet he still isn’t satisfied with the outcome. In fact, he feels like the painting was nowhere near being finished in time. There is something about the way he placed the sparks that he doesn't like. The thing is, he can’t really pinpoint why exactly he doesn't like it. They just aren't really “flying” in the air well enough. Some are too close together, others too far apart. In a way it doesn't look natural enough, but that in itself doesn't make any sense, cause no normal forest has such sparks flying through it. Renjun was expecting them to deepen the magical feeling of the forest, but for some reason he couldn’t portray that feeling onto the canvas in a satisfactory way. Regardless, a few spots shouldn't be enough to give him the feeling of not liking the placement of the sparks overall, right?

To be frank, he is very frustrated. So, at one point he decides to vent to his camera. “I know I’m too nitpicky. But I just want it to look perfect for y/n. I also know she will like my painting regardless. Heck, she probably wouldn’t mind if I doodled her something as a present. But I want it to be deserving of being in her room. I want her to love my painting and me to like it as well.” Renjun wipes a hand down his face. “Maybe I’ve been on this for too long. It’s already past 7 pm and I’ve been working on this painting since I ate lunch. Or maybe time is just stressing me. There are only a few days left and I still need to work on the details.” Renjun decides he needs a break, a fresh breath of air. Maybe the oil paint smell is messing too much with his ability to create. Whatever the case is, he decides to go by your workplace and see you. Your smile would definitely help him feel better.

As soon as you see Renjun walking through the door of the coffee shop, you have a smile on your face. Your work day is slowly coming to an end and even though most customers today weren’t that difficult to handle, working a long shift naturally tires your body out, which is why it's a pleasant surprise to see your boyfriend. “Junnie, what are you doing here?” Seeing you standing behind the counter smiling at him, gives Renjun a warm and comfy feeling. It was like all of his worries evaporated into thin air as soon as your beautiful face smiled up at him. “Hi love, came to see you. I needed a fresh breath of air.” You walk around the counter to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, the rag still in your left hand. As expected, his insides are feeling fuzzy again.

You’ve always had that effect on him. Renjun didn’t really mind holding your hand in public or you leaning on him, but kisses, even if only on the cheek, are something intimate to him, so he only really initiates them in public if he really misses you. Otherwise they are kept for when you two are in private. “Trouble with painting again?” Renjun smiles sheepishly. Of course, you would figure him out. But he doesn’t mind and fortunately, you don’t know what exactly he was painting. “Yeah, I think I’ve been on it for a bit too long. You and a nice cup of tea will surely help.” Renjun isn’t a big fan of coffee, he preferred drinking tea over coffee any day. Whenever he comes around the coffee shop you work at, he either orders tea or just some pastry to snack on, sometimes both if he feels like looking at you a little longer. Often Renjun thinks about how pretty you look and about how he could watch you for hours. He realizes that thought might be creepy but you didn’t mind when he told you about it one day. It’s him after all, not some stranger.

You quickly wipe down the table before going behind the counter again to prepare his drink. Today, Renjun chose to drink lemon tea. Being the nice girlfriend that you are, you gave him a small cookie on the side as well. Sadly, he can’t spend much time talking to you as new customers come in. That‘s why he sits down at a table and enjoys his tea and the cookie. How nice it would be if we could just sit on my bed and talk. Or rather on her bed, can’t have her seeing the painting. Occasionally, he looks over to see you wiping down tables and you wink at him. He was right, a tea and you definitely help to calm his mind. Renjun spends about twenty minutes in the coffee shop before he gets up and gives you a sweet goodbye. It is time to return to the dorm and continue his painting.

For now, he plans to continue with a few details of trees. Maybe having a fresh look at the sparks tomorrow is a better idea. Not counting today, 5 days were left till your birthday, which meant he effectively has 2 to 3 days left to paint since oil paint, even with a quick drying medium, still needs comparatively long to dry. After working for about half an hour on the details of the trees in the back, Renjun feels a little better about his painting. He takes this as an incentive to end the day with a positive feeling and grabs his camera again. “Okay guys, I’m calling it quits for today. It’s about 8 pm already. I think it’s better to tackle the sparks tomorrow. ” Renjun quickly shows the current state of his painting before he turns off the camera.

The next day is a Saturday, meaning Renjun has all day to paint and he wakes up with a good feeling. He quickly eats breakfast and immediately wants to get to painting, so he sets up his camera to further film his painting process. It’s time to focus on the sparks. The ones he already painted were in different colors, namely pink, yellow, blue and red. But looking at his canvas with a fresh set of eyes, he realizes they were not bright enough for his liking. They aren’t really sparkling. Maybe the feeling he got last evening of them not “flying” in the forest nicely was caused by that. He needs to paint in such a way that they look like they were actually sparkling. Renjun has the revelation that he needs to add highlights to the sparks. Adding highlights to them would ensure that the sparks stand out more against the forest, making them more interesting and giving the painting a more refined look. He likes that approach. Maybe he can even place the highlights in such a way that it would have the effect of letting single sparks look more apart from others. This way his problem of the placement of some sparks would be solved, at least to some extent.

For the next hour Renjun works on adding enough highlights and blending around the sparks. He also adds a few more sparks to the forest. Taking a few steps back from his canvas, he regards the result. This time, Renjun definitely likes it a lot more. The sparks look nice against the dark forest and shine in different colors. It felt realistic and he was happy with the outcome so far. He grabs his camera, “Finally guys, I managed to paint the sparks in a way I’m satisfied with. I had the realization this morning that I needed to add highlights to them and I'm happy to report that it was a good idea.” Renjun shows his viewers the current state of his painting. “I’m thinking of continuing with the details of the two bent trees in the front. I only have a few days left to paint and I still need to work on the details of the pond.” Renjun puts his camera back on his desk again, before facing the canvas. These two trees still need leaves and defined roots. He wants to make them look like they are quite old.

Basically, Renjun spent the rest of his day painting, except for the occasional toilet and food break. After hours in front of his canvas, his head hurts. His bedroom is cold because of the opened window, yet he still feels the effects of the oil paint. Whatever. I need to continue at least a little bit more. At this point, the two trees forming a heart are finished. Renjun added a few bushes to the forest as well and moss around the pond. Since he had decided to make the path leading to the pond a blueish white, he worked on that as well. This way, it seems like the moon lights it up. Of course, he also needs to add highlights to the crown of the trees. He thinks about whether to make them a different color, but ultimately decides to go with the same blueish white since it ties in better with his concept of the moon shining down on the forest. Renjun wants to finish that part today, before calling it quits for tonight. It should take him under half an hour to finish this detail and then he can enjoy a bowl of ramen before going to bed.

The following day, Renjun can’t really continue working on his painting since it needs to dry, so he mainly spends the day working on his art history essay that is due for Tuesday’s class. He already had planned it ahead, which is why he had mainly focused on his painting for you yesterday. Since it needed to dry for him to continue, Renjun can use today for his assignment. He needs to write an essay about the way leadership and power gets depicted in art. For that he had to choose a picture to analyze and write about. Renjun knows he is pushing it a bit late but since he doesn’t plan to work on anything else today, he figures it’s fine. He’s sure that he can finish the assignment today and if not, he still has a bit of tomorrow left. It is only supposed to be four pages long anyway. How hard can that be, right? Well turns out a little harder than he had thought. Renjun spends around three hours in front of his laptop before he decides to take a break. I really should eat something. After all this writing his brain needs energy and a break. Standing up from his desk, he turns around and his gaze falls on the canvas in his room. Renjun inspects it carefully from a distance and actually likes the result. Of course, it still isn’t finished. He definitely needs to add a few more details. The bend trees need to look more interesting and realistic. A few more details on the trees in the back would be good. Maybe I also should add a few more sparks-– his finger twitches. There is nothing more that Renjun wants in this moment than to grab his brush and continue painting, perfecting your present. But right now is not the time. He shakes his head lightly. Still needs to dry.

Trying to get his thoughts away from the painting, Renjun decides on what show to watch while he eats something. Surprisingly, he has been enjoying a Chinese drama you recommended lately, but maybe watching the next 40-minutes episode isn’t such a great idea with an unfinished essay sitting on his desk. So he decides to just watch a YouTube video. Twenty minutes later, Renjun sits at his desk again and continues with his essay. That’s basically how he spends his whole afternoon. Around 6 pm he is actually almost finished with the essay. That’s why he decides to get up and go into the kitchen to make some ramen. He knows that he ate a little too much ramen throughout the week but they are really just so convenient when he doesn't have much time to cook.

However, on the way to the kitchen, his doorbell suddenly rings. Renjun isn’t expecting anyone, his roommate might have but Jay doesn’t come out of his room to open the door. So when the bell rings a second time, Renjun opens the door. To his surprise, it’s you. You stand there, smiling at him, dressed in an oversized jacket and plaid pajama pants, a small handbag on top of your right shoulder and a plastic bag in your left hand. As usual, you look cute and cozy but Renjun can’t really concentrate on that. He only stares at you. Why is she here? Did I miss something? And then it hits him. He curses in his head, you’re here for the movie night you both agreed on last week. Seems like amidst all the painting and college he forgot about it. Good going Renjun. You tilt your head a little to the side, “Baby, are you going to let me in?” Renjun’s mind immediately goes to your gift. Damn it, the painting’s still in my room! He can’t possibly let you see it. In panic, Renjun turns his head back, looking into the flat. He needs to come up with some kind of excuse right now, on the spot, “Love, babe, give me like 2 minutes okay, my room’s kinda messy”, he looks at you, his hand already resting on the door to close it. “Jun, you know I don’t care about that”, you step forward, laughing a little but he holds his ground. “No really, just give me like 5 minutes”, Renjun doesn’t give you any time to properly react and closes the door.

Quickly jogging into his room, he looks around. He only needs to hide the canvas, his paints and brushes aren’t a problem. But where should he hide it? Behind the closet? No way, too risky. The kitchen, no it’s right next to the front door. And then it hits him. Jay! Carefully grabbing the canvas, Renjun quickly goes across the hall and knocks on his roommate’s door. “Listen dude, my girl’s just outside the door but I can’t have her see this painting. Can I please hide it in your room for a few hours?” Fortunately, Renjun and Jay get along well. “Oh yeah sure” Jay points to the corner next to his dresser, “you can put it there dude” Renjun quickly puts the painting down and thanks Jay like three times before he goes to get you. “Okay love, you can come in.” “Thank you for being so gracious, your highness” You jokingly bow down before entering, Renjun shakes his head, closes the door and grabs your hand. You do sometimes have this amusingly bizarre streak. “How come you suddenly felt the need to tidy up your room for me? Hiding something?”, you tease him. Renjun almost scratches his head. Surely, if he would’ve done that you would be more suspicious of him. “It’s just messy babe. I want you to be comfortable.” Humming, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. It sure seems like he didn’t expect you to come over today though. “Did you forget our movie night, Junnie?” Renjun smiles apologetically and nods, “Sorry love, promise, next time I won’t forget.” He squeezes your hand. Renjun normally isn’t the person to forget your dates. Spending time with you is one of his favorite things to do but even he can sometimes forget. You don’t mind, he’s also just human. Besides, you know Renjun had a couple of deadlines lately.

Entering his room, the familiar sight of art materials, a few soda cans and an easel greets you. Renjun keeps his room mostly tidy except for whenever exam season hits and he has to deal with many art projects at the same time. Renjun’s habit of spending too much on details leads him to making full use of the deadlines, which in return stresses him out so much that he doesn’t bother a lot with cleaning. To you that’s fine, you aren’t much different in that aspect. Besides, why add more stress to exams by worrying about whether your room is clean or not. You make your way to his bed and put your handbag down, your gaze finding the empty easel in the middle of his room. That usually means he's working on something. “Jun, what have you been working on?” Renjun’s gaze quickly follows yours. Dang, should've put that away! Okay, just say something. Quick! “Ahh love, you know I have a few projects due soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time painting.” Renjun sits down next to you, nodding as if he was trying to reassure himself that he wasn’t caught by you. But technically he didn’t lie. Quickly trying to change the subject, he grabs your plastic bag. Before coming over to Renjun’s place, you quickly got a few snacks at a convenience store. “No movie without snacks right? Oh and I got you some ramen as well, Jun.” He looks inside the plastic bag, it contains chips in two different flavors, some gummy bears, his favorite ramen and pretzel snacks. “Thank you love, I should still have some soda in the fridge for us.” Renjun stands up and takes a step in the direction of the door but halts as you grab his wrist. “Jun, can we prepare the ramen now? I’m actually quite hungry, I haven't had dinner yet.” You’re hoping he agrees as the last thing you ate today was just a piece of toast a couple of hours ago. After your eight hour shift at work today you worked a little on an assignment before buying the snacks for tonight. Renjun immediately agrees, laughing a little. “Sure, I’ve literally wanted to make myself some ramen before you rang the bell.”

After cooking the ramen and grabbing two soda cans, you’re sitting on Renjun’s bed while turns off the lights before he grabs his laptop. Since he knows how much you like to have a few scented candles lit up while watching a movie, Renjun also does that before sitting cross-legged next to you and putting his blanket over you both. Turning on the third Harry Potter movie, you cuddle up to him and enjoy the evening together. Three weeks ago, Renjun and you had decided to rewatch all HP movies and so far you both enjoyed it very much. It’s been years since the last time you watched them, so you figured doing it together would be fun. That’s why you’ve met up with Renjun once a week for movie night, snacking away your worries and college stress for at least the few hours that you spend together with him. Sitting together under the blanket and just spending time together with him is one of your favorite things to do. It doesn't matter if you watch a movie or drink tea together, you just enjoy spending time in Renjun’s arms. How can you not? Renjun is just so good to cuddle. That’s why you always end up putting your head on his shoulder, hugging him and it’s no different today. Your head is resting on his shoulder and his arm around you.

From time to time Renjun gives your body a little squeeze and feeds you snacks. He also sneaks a few glances at you. Seeing you so comfortable around him, makes his insides feel warm. So cute. He might love you a little more every time he sees you like this. You aren’t wearing any makeup and aren’t dressed up, yet you manage to make him attracted to you nonetheless. There is just something so attractive about you being your true self around him, not caring about how you look in your pajamas or how much you snack. Suddenly, Renjun feels the urge to kiss you. If only you weren’t so focused on the movie, “My love”. You hum as an answer, eyes still glued on the laptop screen. “Look at me please.” You lift your head off his shoulder and Renjun just looks at you lovingly. While you slowly sit up, he can only think about how you really are the most beautiful woman he set his eyes on. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he slowly leans in. Renjun believes there is nothing better in the world than moments like these. Moments where everything fades into the background and only you two seem to exist. Moments where he can be very close to you and his lips can meet yours in a loving and intimate way. Your lips are soft and smooth in such a way it feels like kissing the clouds. Your hand naturally finds its way into Renjun’s hair. His right hand cups your cheek while his lips move slowly against yours. His other hand rests on your waist and after a loving moment, Renjun tilts his head a little more to the side, deepening the kiss. His lips still taste a little of the ramen you two had earlier but you don’t mind. Kissing him is always great. In a sense, kissing him is like drinking a cup of hot cocoa on cold winter days. Renjun’s kisses give you comfort, warmth and a sense of belonging like you’ve never felt before. Even in very passionate moments, where kissing him stole your breath away, Renjun is caring and gentle. Just like now as he holds you a little closer, loving you a little more. His hand, previously on your cheek, moves down, stroking your waist. Slowly he pulls away, hands still on your waist. “I love you.” Truly, you’re one of the people that make him the happiest. Smiling, you lean into him to place your lips on his one more time, portraying your love for him. “I love you too.” Putting your head on his shoulder again, you notice the movie is still playing. Both of you return to watching and enjoying it further.

Around halfway through the movie, the cozy atmosphere and dim lit room actually make you sleepy. You did have a long day today and after a while, Renjun notices your lack of comments and snacking. Turning his head to look at you, he sees you fast asleep on his shoulder. Not wanting you to be cold, he places the blanket further up your body and tightens his arm around you. Renjun is unsure about waking you. Since you don’t need to work tomorrow morning, you could sleep over today. It’s been quite a while anyway since the last time you slept over at his place. To be honest, he kind of misses falling asleep with you next to him. However, if you are to sleep over, the painting will need to stay in Jay’s room for the night. I guess I could ask him. He probably wouldn’t mind. Renjun decides he would ask. So he slowly begins to move your head from his shoulder, hoping you won't wake up. He really tries to be careful but apparently isn’t careful enough since you slowly start to wake up while he tries to lay your head down onto a pillow. Slowly sitting up, you quietly mumble his name. Your hooded eyes find the laptop screen still playing the movie. “I’m sorry love, didn’t wanna wake you” “It’s okay. When did I fall asleep?” Renjun smiles, “I’m not sure, some time ago.” “Oh” “Yeah, oh” He laughs a little. “Do you wanna sleep over, love?” You nod, you can just leave in the morning since you don’t need to work until the afternoon shift begins. Renjun and you decide to just wash up and relax in his bed. He doesn’t need to finish the movie and you’re so tired, you probably would’ve fallen asleep again anyways. Closing his laptop, you make your way to the bathroom he shares with his roommate. Renjun always has a toothbrush prepared for you even if you didn’t sleep over most nights. It’s pretty cute and someway along you also started to pick up that habit of his for whenever he would sleep over at your dorm. That didn’t happen so often though since you share your dorm room with another girl. It’s definitely more comfortable to sleep at his place since he has a room to himself.

While you’re in the bathroom, Renjun quickly makes his way to Jay’s room and knocks quietly. In hindsight, he could’ve also just sent him a text but whatever, Jay already opened the door. “Hey man, y/n’s gonna sleep over. Is it okay if the painting stays with you tonight?” Jay doesn’t have a problem with it. It’s just in a corner anyway, so the painting doesn’t really bother him. Having solved that problem, Renjun makes his way back into his room and starts to put the snacks away before getting you a shirt and sweatpants to wear for the night. Just in case she wants to get out of her pajama pants. Shortly after, you enter. “Here love, you can get changed if you want while I brush my teeth”, Renjun points to the clothes on the bed that he neatly laid out for you. You’ve always liked sleeping in his clothes, somehow it’s another kind of comfy. Maybe it’s because they always smell like him and how is a girl able to resist that? “Thank you Jun”, you quickly kiss his cheek before he leaves the room. Looking around you notice that Renjun already blew out the candles and sorted out his bed. After quickly changing your clothes, you grab a corner of his blanket and slip under it.

Not even three minutes pass before he opens the door to his room. A soft smile makes its way onto Renjun’s lips as he sees you already comfy and ready in bed, waiting for him. Seems like the tiredness is slowly creeping up on you again. My poor baby. It's not even 9:30 and she’s ready to call it a day. Renjun quickly turns off his light and gets in bed next to you. You turn around to face him and his arm automatically wraps itself around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You place your hand on his chest while your head rests on his arm. Renjun slowly strokes your hair, soft eyes looking at you in the dark. After a few minutes, you snuggle a little closer to him. Cuddling him like this makes you even more sleepy. You nuzzle your face into his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to lay a sweet kiss on top of your head. Renjun rests his cheek against the top of your head. Little words are exchanged as you welcome the comfortable and sleepy atmosphere. Except for your breathing, your heartbeats and the occasional sound of the blanket shuffling, the room is silent. You love moments like these. You love when Renjun cuddles with you, when you can feel his arms holding your body closely and his soft breath against your hair. You’ve always had a soft spot for his hugs anyway and being so close to him that you can listen to his heartbeat while feeling the warmth radiating from his body gives another level of bliss. You actually want to stay awake a little longer, want to consciously feel his body for some time more but it’s getting progressively harder for you to stay awake and Renjun sees how you struggle to. He murmurs against your hair, “Close your eyes, love. I know you had a long day” You feel another kiss on your hair and mumble an “I love you” to him before closing your eyes and letting sleep take over you. You barely manage to hear him say it back before you fully fall asleep.

Opening your eyes the next morning, Renjun’s sleeping face greets you. His hair is kind of messy and his shirt got pulled down a bit, exposing part of his collarbones. Renjun’s arm rests on top of your hip and your feet are touching. Watching him for a few minutes, you get lost in your thoughts. There’s just something different about him in this relaxed state. It's like all the world’s stress and pressure can't get to him, like he can truly be undisturbed and there’s nothing in the world less than peace and happiness that you wish for Renjun. You know he has tendencies that make his life, especially his college life, a little more difficult than it needs to be. But honestly who knew an art major could be so demanding? You used to have this picture in your head of an art major being easy. After all, the students only need to paint stuff, right? Yeah, not exactly. Because of Renjun, you were able to glance beyond surface level and it turns out, studying art is harder than it seems. Renjun has written exams, almost weekly mini art projects for his classes, he needs to hold presentations and when exam season comes around his room is piled up with different art materials for his creative projects. It truly seems like you have to love art to study it or else you will drown. Renjun gives his all for college and you love that for him but him being a perfectionist adds another layer of difficulty to his degree. Sometimes he really needs to relax. That’s why you like seeing him resting so much. He can shut the world out and doesn’t fry his brain with details of his unfinished projects. You get to see him recovering from all the work he puts into his passion.

You regard Renjun‘s sleeping state for a little while longer. The sun falls beautifully on him, partly on his face and hair. It highlights his slightly puffy face that he tends to get in the mornings. Your hand unconsciously reaches out and begins to stroke his hair slowly. Feeling your hand caressing his hair, Renjun stirs a little and sighs. It’s a very cute sight. Slowly opening his eyes after a few minutes, he smiles at you. Tightening his arm around your waist, you exchange a small kiss. Spending the morning with Renjun is usually a calm and loving experience. He likes to take his time in the mornings whenever he can, especially when he’s still a little sleepy. So you both spend a while wrapped in each other's arms with quiet murmurs to not disturb the morning quietness, taking in the warmth of one another before slowly getting out of bed to get ready. After eating breakfast together you need to leave to go home. Since you didn’t plan on spending the night, you plan on making a stop at your dorm, changing into a different outfit and maybe reading a little before going to work today.

As soon as you left, Renjun got his painting from Jay’s room. Today is the last day he can work on it since the painting needs to be dry for your birthday. After spending the last evening with you, Renjun feels quite good this morning. He feels like he can finish the painting in time and that he’ll like the outcome. The painting still needs details to the pond. It hopefully won’t take more than two hours. After that, Renjun still needs to add finishing touches to your gift. He starts with the pond by adding light blue highlights and a few branches that touch the water before letting the paint rest a little. In the meantime, he moves on to the finishing touches of other parts of the painting. Renjun had planned on spending the majority of today to finish your gift. Unfortunately, he can’t varnish it yet because it needs a few months to properly dry before he can put the varnish on top to fully seal it. However, for your birthday it will be enough for the painting to be dry to touch. After adding a little more detail to the trees in the background and defining a few of them a bit more, Renjun continues with the two main trees forming the heart. He decides to add some moss to the tree barks.

However, after regarding the thin layer of moss he painted, he isn’t really satisfied. It seems a bit too flat for his liking, so he decides to try a different approach and goes to the kitchen to get some coffee. Maybe adding a few sprinkles of ground coffee into the paint will create a more natural finish. After trying it out on a paper and liking it, he uses his mixture of paint and coffee for the moss on the canvas. Looks pretty good. Being satisfied with the moss, Renjun takes a few steps away from his canvas to have a look at the pond. It doesn’t necessarily look bad but there’s still something he doesn’t like. He feels like it's kind of looking boring, which probably is because of a lack of details. That’s why for the next hour or so he spends his time perfecting the pond. In a spur of inspiration, Renjun also decides to add shadows of little fish inside the water.

Just in time for a small food break, Renjun finishes with the painting for now. He decides to come back to it after eating a bowl of ramen to regard it one last time before deciding if it’s really finished or not. Twenty minutes later, after he finished eating, Renjun stands in his room with crossed arms in front of the canvas. The window is open again, still his room very much smells like oil paints. His shirt and hands have paint on them, he truly looks like an artist in this moment. To him, there’s something strangely satisfying whenever he gets lost in painting so much that his hands and clothes show the proof. Renjun is satisfied with the outcome. It looks great. Exactly how I envisioned it. Finally. The forest looks enchanted, mysterious and doesn't have too much or too little detail. It looks like a forest one could stumble upon in a fantasy world and that’s what he was going for. She will surely like it. Smiling, Renjun starts to collect his art materials to clean them.

But suddenly, he gets a thought. I totally forgot to film! He quickly gets his camera and presses record. “Hi painters, it’s the last day of painting. Tomorrow is just for drying and then it’s y/n’s birthday. I actually already finished the painting but forgot to film it. Sorry about that. It's around 5 pm right now. Last night, y/n stayed over so I couldn’t wake up extra early to finish it. But it’s okay, I finished anyway. Have a look at the result.” Renjun turns his camera to show the canvas. “This is the finished product. I added details to the pond and some finishing touches today and I made some spontaneous decisions that turned out really well actually. ” He zooms in on the moss. “For the moss I added ground coffee into my paint. It gives it a more realistic finish, maybe give it a try some time.” Renjun laughs a little, “I think I might use this hack more often.” He turns the camera to show himself again, “I’m super satisfied with the result and actually very happy that I got finished in time. Although I wouldn’t recommend that you guys start a project this size in such a short time frame. Honestly, it was quite stressful. But I’m glad I was able to pull it off and I know for a fact that y/n’s gonna like it. Thank you guys so much for watching!” Turning his camera off, Renjun let out a happy sigh.

He didn’t immediately start editing the video though. It’s really time to take a break. Renjun just finished a big project and wants to celebrate. That’s why he quickly cleans up his room and video calls the dreamies’ group chat. Haechan is the first one to pick up “Look who came back from the dead.” Renjun laughs dryly and right after Mark joins the video chat, “Yo whats up?” Soon enough all the dreamies join and Renjun tells them about how he’s finally finished with the painting. Of course they want to see it, which is why Renjun switches to his phone’s back camera. “Dude, that looks so cool!” “I think she’s definitely gonna like it” “How come you never paint me a pic like that?” “Are you my girlfriend?”, Renjun deadpans. Haechan sulks a bit, “No.” “See. Now anyways, do you guys wanna hang out tonight?” It’s been a while since all of them hung out together anyway. “Yeah, we could try out that new Mexican restaurant near my place.” Renjun likes Jeno’s idea and everyone agrees, except for Jisung. “Guys, I have to finish an assignment by Wednesday. Can I join a bit later?” Mark reassures Jisung that his assignment was more important. “For sure dude, work on your assignment. We’ll save you a spot.” An hour later, the dreamies are sitting in the restaurant, going over the menu. Renjun thinks it’s nice to spend time together again, catching up and joking around.

After Jisung joins, the whole group is complete and they spend the evening eating delicious food and talking. Renjun knows that he shouldn’t spend too much money there but stressful days of assignments and the painting is coming to an end and he wants to enjoy himself. That’s why he goes for dessert even when he was kinda full already. It’s okay, I deserve it. Soon, the relaxing evening comes to an end and the boys part ways. The day after tomorrow they’ll meet up at Jeno’s place to celebrate your birthday. You know it's a bit strange to celebrate your birthday at Jeno's place and you were a little hesitant at first. Of course you and Jeno are friends because of Junnie and your bestie, but not that close. Originally, you had planned to just hang out somewhere in the park but the weather has been kind of on the colder side lately. But, Jeno assured you that it’s fine. He's living alone, meaning he has enough space to host your small birthday get-together. Having some people over is nice anyway and he knows most of the people you invited. Besides the dreamies and your best friend, only two other friends of yours were expected to come. So it’s really fine for Jeno. Not to mention, his girlfriend, your bestie, would probably be somewhat upset if he said no to you. You were the person to introduce them after all.

The next day Renjun slept in. His to do list doesn’t include much for today, mainly getting some nice wrapping for your gift. He also plans on visiting you at work again. It’s going to be a pretty simple day but he likes that his day doesn’t include any stress. Tomorrow, the day of your birthday, he’ll buy you some flowers and your favorite chocolate before meeting up with Mark. He was so nice to offer Renjun to put the painting in his car and drive to Jeno’s place together. This way he won’t need to take the painting on the subway. Renjun is pretty excited for you to see his gift. Of course he knows that you would like it but he still looks forward to your reaction. Since Jeno’s place allows for more room, Renjun plans to show up a bit earlier to decorate the place tomorrow. He excluded you from decorating on purpose and had said he was gonna handle it and so you let him. That boy can be stubborn. Renjun wants to keep his painting out of your sight for as long as he can.

So when he and Mark arrive at Jeno’s place with your gift on the day of your birthday, Renjun puts it in Jeno’s bedroom. He knows you aren't gonna go in there, so it’s a safe spot to hide it. After making sure the painting isn’t gonna slip while he’s away, Renjun starts to prepare snack bowls and places your cake into the fridge, before helping Jeno and Mark with some balloons and a happy birthday sign. There wasn't much to prepare since you just want to spend your birthday relaxing with your friends. So soon enough, the three of them finish and around 6 pm everyone you invited is gathered on the floor around Jeno’s couch table, playing some board games and catching up. Throughout the day, Renjun films a few moments of your get-together. He wants to include your birthday party but especially your reaction to his present in his video. As the evening passes you turn to karaoke, singing songs from ABBA to Little Mix. At one point Renjun even starts to serenade you. He puts on quite a performance, singing Hot by Avril Lavigne and you totally enjoy it. It’s pretty funny actually, he’s pointing in your direction and dancing around. It’s nice seeing him so carefree. You’re kinda tempted to join and serenade him but he won't let you outperform him anyway. Besides, Renjun really has a lot of energy to spend. It’s already 8 pm, gifts still haven't been exchanged and he’s excited but also somewhat nervous for your reaction. He hopes you’ll love the painting as much as he does. However, there’s a part of him that fears he chose the wrong thing to paint but he tries to ignore that voice. You’re gonna love it, he just needs to keep on reminding himself of that.

To say your reaction didn’t disappoint would’ve been an understatement. Renjun actually managed to hold himself in check till he was the last one left to give his gift. You really like the gifts you got this year. From a new book to new skin care you’ve been eyeing for a while, your friends put thought into them and that’s what counts and makes you happy. Two of your friends left half an hour ago, cause it’s kinda late already. The boys spontaneously had decided to sleep over at Jeno’s place, so it’s only you, your bestie and the dreamies left. “Okay, time for the finale”, for some reason, Haechan is very excited for your reaction to Renjun’s gift as well. He secretly plans to take pictures of you two. Earlier today, he also appointed Jisung to take a video. “Give me a minute, love. I’ll get your gift” Renjun squeezes your hand, giving you a smile. You look over at the boys and they just have smiles on their faces. It’s obvious that you’re gonna like the painting. Really, Renjun doesn’t have anything to worry about. A minute later, he comes back with the painting in wrapping paper. He chose one with a leaf print on it. It looks nice and maybe it could give you a bit of foreshadowing on what the gift entailed. “Happy birthday, love” Renjun sets the painting down, holding it in place and signals for you to open it. “I hope you like it”

It’s clear that his gift was some kind of painting. Knowing Renjun, you guess that he actually painted it. “You painted for me?”, you place your hand on the gift. There was a certain smoothness to the wrapping paper. Renjun murmurs a small yes and the thought alone that he had painted you something this big was enough to make you tear up. He must’ve spent hours on this, hours just to make you happy. Sometimes you question how you were so blessed to have someone like him love you. Renjun really is giving his all to make you happy. Slowly, you unwrap the painting. Piece by piece different colors shine towards you, greens, some darker and some lighter, brown and little colorful spots. As soon as you unwrap the gift completely, you have a proper look at the painting and almost can’t believe your eyes. It’s so beautiful and perfect. You would’ve never expected such an amazing gift from him. You can’t believe Renjun would spend so much effort just for you. He put so much detail and love into the painting and it feels like you could see that from a mile away. This was the most thoughtful gift anyone ever gave you. You couldn’t possibly describe the meaning this holds for you. It’s so mesmerizing, the way the colors dance on the canvas, how he managed to portray feelings into his painting and really make it come alive. In a way it feels like the gift expresses how much Renjun loves you.

You’re so overwhelmed and touched by the painting, the hard work and love he must’ve put into it that the only thing you can do is let out a sob. Renjun definitely didn't expect that reaction. His eyes widen and he starts to panic inside. No no no, she hates it? I should’ve chosen something else, damn it! Your hand naturally finds its way onto your mouth, more tears rolling down your cheeks while you admire the painting for a few moments more. You know Renjun has always put thought into the gifts he got you, but this really is on another level. The amount of devotion he put into making this is unbelievable. You've never seen more beautiful art than this painting and he did it with his own two hands.

Renjun’s wide-eyed gaze finds Mark’s but he also doesn’t know what to do. It’s like Renjun’s worst nightmare comes true right in front of his eyes. How could I be so stupid! Damn it! I was so sure she’s gonna like it. “Baby-”, Renjun’s ready to apologize and go buy you a better gift immediately but you don’t even give him time to finish his sentence. Throwing your arms around him, you hug him tight. “Thank you, thank you.” Four simple words and Renjun’s world stopped crumbling. He is beyond relieved. It’s like all his panicky thoughts leave his body instantly. He lets out a small laugh, hugging you back and smiling into your shoulder. You actually like it, like really like it. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you so much” Your heart almost can’t handle the thought of Renjun giving you something so precious, so beautiful. “Baby you almost gave me a heart attack.” You lean back a bit, mumbling a small sorry before placing your lips onto his. Renjun’s lips were soft and smooth like always. His kiss makes your stomach flip. He’s truly yours, not going anywhere and loving you like no other guy ever has. Renjun’s arms tighten around yours before you tilt your head a little, deepening the kiss and soon enough you hear a mixture of complaints from the boys. “Okay, what the heck” “Ew, leave that for later guys” Renjun blushes a bit, pulling away slowly. He really isn’t used to doing that in front of the boys. Pecking his lips one last time, you loosen your grip and just smile at him. “Dang,” Haechan looks at the pictures he took of you two kissing, “I really need to learn how to paint”.

a/n: excuse any painting process parts or art major parts that might be inaccurate haha, oh and if you wanna request something, I'm open to hear your idea :)

#nct dream #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct renjun #nct dream x reader #renjun #renjun imagines #renjun fanfic #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct dream fic #huang renjun #nct dream renjun #renjun fluff #nct x reader #nct dream scenarios

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nevernonline · 1 year ago

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could i have (ot13 if comfortable but if not 95z and/or 96z) reaction to 14th member!reader debuting in a famous girl group aswell as being in svt, and how they would react if reader was to perform a "sexy" song during an award show <3

hi!! thank yew sm for the rec! they ended up getting LONG im so sorry, so I did everyone thru hoshi for now. if you want the rest pls come back to me lol. please enjoy, I hope you like it!! xo.

svt reactions to member and their gg doing a sexy debut concept:

seungcheol:

You decided to keep your new debut song as a secret from the rest of the boys. A little bit because you figured they’d roast you and a little bit because you were afraid of Seungcheol's reaction to the semi-skimpy outfit you were wearing. Behind the stage you caught a small glimpse of the monitor and noticed the members sitting just directly to the right of the performance stage, a perfect spot to see you in full view. Seungcheol was somewhat of an authority figure to you and ever since you could remember he was the one you wanted to impress the most. The sound of your in-ear kicked in and a stage direction came through it was time to take your place under the bright red lights donning the arena. Out of the corner of your eye you watched as he and the rest of the group clapped wildly while the music came over the speakers. You and your red lace tights, with a matching mini dress, and black garter began the carefully practiced movements. Seungcheol’s smile fell less and less as you continued your performance, not for the reason people thought, well maybe a little. He had never seen you like that, sexy and confident parading around in a dress that just slightly covered your butt. When the night was over you headed back to your room, he was sitting waiting for you outside. Just a subtle finger wave pulled you over to him and he confessed something through his clenched jaw. You looked too good for him to handle himself and that he wanted to be the only person who got to take you home, his jealousy got the better of him that night, but he knows now you only belonged to him.

jeonghan:

When Jeonghan found out you were debuting in a new unit he felt a little welcome of the green monster inside of him, not because you were moving on or moving up, whatever, but because he wasn’t the one controlling all of your attention anymore. You made new friends, you were off spending all of your nights practicing, getting a new hairstyle, clothes, a new life almost. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been over the moon happy for you, but that he just missed you. The days before your debut showcase, you sent a text to all the members an invitation to come watch the show, everyone replied, besides Jeonghan. It was weird to you, like, you weren’t sure the exact reasons he wouldn’t respond. He was still posting on instagram, weverse, going to work with the rest of the boys, but avoiding you. When the day finally came you saw the smiling faces of twelve of your friends in the crowd, missing the prettiest face of them all. You took your marks lying down on the floor, feeling your adrenaline rushing in your veins. As the saxophone started your hips left their original position on the floor and your head raised up greeted with the familiar lips of Jeonghan, smirking in your face. You felt the blood in your body boil, forcing you to hit the sultry choreography even harder than you normally would. Essentially showing off for him, grinding your hips fully into the movement, never leaving his gaze. After the showcase was over you and your members were all in the greenroom celebrating, when a knock came onto the door. A bouquet of flowers with a small pink note sticking out of them. ‘Down for a private showcase and an apology? 8:00pm at my place. Please come.’ - JH.

joshua:

When it came to you Joshua was just a little awkward, he never knew how to relate to you, not that he didn’t want to, it was just that you were fundamentally different. The members were asked to react for your group's YouTube channel to your new music video to a new title track called ‘What would you do?’ The concept was based around a girl having too many options for her next boyfriend after her ex was too jealous to keep her around. The reactions from the rest of the group were explosive and loud as they watched you and your members flirting with different guys in outfits that left basically nothing to the imagination. There was a moment in the music video that had him side eyeing the group around him, cheering you on as you kissed a random extra on the mouth, before he stripped you of your button down t-shirt. The feeling in his stomach was something he never felt towards you before. Suddenly he felt like that video was a message, Joshua was always jealous of the amount of male attention you had gotten, especially from outside people who you didn’t even know. He always tried to protect you from the gaze of them or their advances towards you. He realized how much he related to your on screen boyfriend, the one who wasn’t sure how to handle their partner getting a little too much attention from other sources and not enough from them, but he never made it clear that he felt that way and it wasn’t fair that he could be so filled with envy when you’re just doing your job. When the black screen came on the laptop, you asked the seventeen members their thoughts, Joshua stayed pretty quiet, just agreeing with the praises from everyone else. As the room became more empty he took a chance to come over to you and tell you his own thoughts without the camera rolling or other ears listening in. He admitted his jealousy and the reasons why he has been awkward around you as of late. It’s because he wanted you badly, but he was too shy until now to say it.

jun:

You and Jun had been secretly dating for over a year, it was easy to do. I mean mostly everyone saw you together twenty-four-seven anyway. You’ve been best friends at the company since you both got your contracts. Two friends who didn’t speak each other's languages but were willing to learn and grow together. When you got the invitation to debut in a new group outside of him, he was ecstatic for you, celebrating all the hard work you both put in for many years. It wasn’t hard telling him everything about what you and the rest of the girls were practicing and working on, you constantly showed him clips and had him listen to recordings from your debut EP you had been working on. One night you and Jun were sitting on the floor of your dorm, looking through the work you both had to do for the coming days when he came across a new file of your dance practice. He spotted you right away, tight white tank top and short denim shorts, your long socks pulled up past your knees. Before pressing play he flipped the screen of the ipad toward you with a menacing look on his face, basically begging for you to come clean about this particular video. He knew the concept of your group was not childish like girl crush or high schoolers, but he didn’t expect it to be so, what did he call it? Dirty? You prompted him to press play and he did multiple times over.

soonyoung:

Soonyoung wasn't used to you asking for help, especially with dance. But when you called him for help he was happy to oblige you and give you any advice you needed, you booked out a studio space, a room with dark colored walls and sultry lighting, soonyoung had come before you to warm up and mess around with some choreography on his own. The padlock of the door buzzed, revealing you in an oversized hoodie covering the tight pair of shorts underneath. Your hair was down, you had no makeup on, but you were accompanied by the singular black bar chair you dragged in your hand behind you. “Soony, hi. Thank you for coming.” Soonyoung greeted you and ran up to your side, helping you with your bag and the ominous chair. “I’m shocked you needed my help.” You shake your head, knowing exactly where he was coming from, but he was your only hope of getting comfortable with your new concept. Someone brave and not shy when it came to performing. “Once you see what it is, maybe you’ll think differently.” The bright screen of your laptop ignited between you as you pressed play to watch your performance leader and the choreographer dancing a passionate partner dance, involving that very black chair the male had been confused about before. “You guys are doing this?” You just shook your head yes pressing pause on the rest of the video where your male counterpart will exit the stage. “If you don’t want to help it’s okay, I get it.” Soonyoung pressed himself up off the ground, and grabbed your hands indicating he was willing to help. “No, I do. Come on.” He remembered all the times you were shy of physical touch, except from him. As you worked on the dance you had gotten closer and closer, his hands rested on your lower back as you twirled your body around the chair, ending with a moment of you straddling his thighs before the ending of his part where he picks you up for a partner lift, holding your barely clothes butt in his hands. He couldn’t imagine you getting the opportunity to do this with anybody else, not to mention in front of a crowd of people and many more online. As your body slid it’s way down his and you tried to break contact to walk and stop the music, he couldn’t let go.

#❃ - duffytalks #seventeen fluff #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #svt reactions #svt fic #svt texts #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #ask rec #seventeen fic #svt scenarios #joshua scenarios #seungcheol imagines #jeonghan imagines #junhui imagines #hoshi scenarios

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monodramatic-cannibal · 3 months ago

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Refs done for my UToc :DD He's called Nix-Ceto. His blaster's don't really have names, but oh well lol.

He's open for asks and such, I also don't mind ocs interacting as well. (also I don't mind others ocs being related to his lore either lol)

More info under the cut

Head canon voice: toe - グッドバイ / Goodbye

More info on his design:

His height is 5,9

Late 20s early 30s in terms of age (will edit if I choose an age), a little bit younger than most Sanses.

His clothing is made of somewhat waterproof fabric, so when water is available he may use it to travel as he finds it quicker to move around due to his tail allowing him to swim quicker

Tends to have triangle symbolism on his clothes that he wears, he does this subconsciously.

25% of the time he will have the fish blaster’s out just swimming along the air beside him. For no reason other than he likes watching them move around.

The sword and its case is something he can summon/desummon as well. But tends to have it with him 50% of the time since it does have a shoulder strap to carry it. (I also named his sword after this song)

When his eyes flare with magic it flashes/fades back and forth from yellow to blue.His ecto colour is also blue on the outside and yellow in the middle. (sort of like the fish blasters ecto)

Will randomly lose teeth, but due to having shark teeth/very similar mouth to sharks the tooth will quickly be replaced.

Despite the somewhat formal fashion sense he tends to look a bit scruffy, hates it if anyone tells him to tidy himself up.

The gaster blasters are inspired by how @.tinylittlefox1 (Twitter) draws gaster blasters. What his gaster blaster sounds like (The 'fish' blaster's don't have a noise yet)

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His magic:

Is able to summon multiple gaster blasters like normal Sanses, as well as the bone attacks and blue attacks.

His gaster blasters can go against his orders though, often doing different attacks e.g. instead of shooting a beam at someone they may bite someone instead. They might also not attack if Nix-Ceto doesn’t truly want to fight someone, or if someone had befriended the blasters.

Ceto also has two extra summons, in the ‘fish’ blasters, these can’t shoot beams but can create barriers/shields, can be used for multiple things, such as blocking attacks, trapping people, creating bridges, etc. He has more control over the fish blasters, but tends to let them do their own thing, since they seem to know the best times of when to defend him.

His other summon is his sword. His sword having a water effect whenever he swings it, and seems to create water when swinging it too, the more he swings it/the longer he uses it in a fight the more water it produces. Which Ceto will use to help in fights such as flicking this water in peoples faces to hopefully blind them for a second.

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Nix-Ceto (can have the nickname of Nix or Ceto) is a Sans that came from an au where he didn’t feel like he belonged, having a very hazy memory, and no memories of childhood. It turning out he came from a different au, and basically took the place of the Sans in this new au. He still did care for the friends in this au, and still viewed the Papyrus as his brother. But finding out he didn’t really belong here it inspired him to try to find where he did come from.

After an encounter with Dream, Dream helped him discover the fact he has the ability to open portals to other aus. Which leads him to now take the nickname Nix-Ceto to differentiate himself from the other Sanses. Out of respect for Dream he also goes round dealing with the smaller problems that don’t have the attention of the multiverse guardians/The Star-Sanses. He does this to try to relieve Dream of some stress not having more problems, and also because Nix wants more allies on his side, via helping aus out.

Over time his focus became less on trying to find his og au and more so just making memories and figuring out secrets and mysteries within the multiverse.

Nix-Ceto is described as a quiet cold individual by most people that meet him. But the few that actually take time to get to know him a little bit better discover he is an individual that cares a lot for others, that is willing to fight alongside others to help them achieve their hopes and dreams. Though the ones who get to know him also complain about the fact he never says goodbye when leaving.

Ceto never says goodbye since he thinks goodbyes are sad. What's the point in saying goodbye if they might meet again, and what's the point in saying goodbye if you're not to meet again. Ceto has a realistic view on life, verging into pessimistic way of viewing things. But he still holds onto what he views as good, and cherishes connections that he makes in the multiverse.

He doesn’t mind teaming up with others, and wouldn’t mind if others were to travel with him from time to time. Him often acting as a beacon of hope for others who want to see the multiverse and find their place. Ceto has seen plenty of travel partners come and go, and tends to remember each of them, and will even pass along their stories not letting the memories of their adventures go.

Most aus he goes to tend to be pacifist or neutral. Since there's not much he can do for a genocide au, the only time he may go to a geno au is if it's getting destroyed by an outside source, he will often help move people into the omega timeline. Most aus he tends to try not to get attached too, since he knows he will only be moving onto the next very soon. But other than 'his own', he got a soft spot for the au 'Oceantale', even though everything is underwater in the au he has no problem moving around due to his shark tail. With Oceantale he also gets a feel of familiarity, though he isn't sure why, he assumes it's because maybe he was originally from an au that heavily involves water, but he isn't too sure on that. Just generally any au with some ocean theme, or aus that take place on the surface involving water he tends to like more than other aus.

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Can either go by Nix, or Ceto as nicknames, most people tend to use Nix for him. Is sometimes thrown off by people using his full name if he's used to having that person use a nickname for him.

He often doesn't take many breaks when traveling around the multiverse. Often it's his companions who force him to take a break. He doesn't have too much he likes to do in his free time, but does try to take part in whatever one of his companions are doing in their free time.

He does enjoy music, often listening to quieter songs, most songs either with no vocals or with soft vocals in them. Preferring the music itself rather than a singer.

When it comes to food he's mostly not picky, he can make food himself, but it's normally 'decent', will often let companions he travels with make food instead. Though when feeling home sick he often misses food he'd make with Paps. Making a mental note to go visit his 'au'.

Doesn't tend to carry much, often may carry supplies with him, but tries to pack very lightly. This means he doesn't really like carrying anything around that he deems as unnecessary. Meaning if any aus try to give him gifts for helping he will often refuse, since it's normally gifts that aren't practical for him. Will normally accept food as gifts though, or generally supplies he will actually use.

One of the companions he travels with frequently is Tanue. Tanue has been a constant thorn in his side since they met. Basically since Tanue realized Nix could travel around aus without help from one of the multiverse guardians/outcodes Tanue has been using Nix like an multiverse taxi. Nix at first was a little annoyed about being used like that, but over time the two got to know each other. And Nix holds a little bit of respect for Tanue, only a little. Nix will be one of the first to admit that Tanue has a good heart, and knows what he wants from life. Nix is a little jealous of Tanue in the regard of knows who he is and what he wants from life. But he doesn't let that effect their friendship. Nix travels around to solve problems, but Tanue often ends up being a problem himself, due to Tanue's love for fighting. But Nix due to so much time with Tanue is able to reel Tanue back in.

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(if anyone wants to have any of their utau oc’s lore connected to Nix-Ceto’s story, e.g. as one of the people who traveled with him or is currently traveling with him, go for it lol. I don’t mind peoples ocs interacting with mine.)

(also this info on him might be subject to change, and I may add more to it over time lol)

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blondeewhorre · 1 year ago

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Just For You

Sanji's story about being in love with you

(Here is Sanji’s version! Lol…Anyways, I also did his story based off a song…cuz I love music. It’s good.👍🏽 Just down below. Still takes place after Whole Cake Island and SPOILERS if you squint enough.)

Your story

The day Sanji fell in love with you was the day his world began to turn once again on it’s axel. Oh yes, he loved you so very much that it would have hurt, if it didn’t bring him such joy. Everything about you just brightened his day, your beaming smile, your soft voice and gentle words, the fact you didn’t beat him black and blue the way Nami did whenever he got a little too carried away with his affection.

So why couldn’t things ever go the way he so desires? Sure, he was a big goofy flirt but sometimes he couldn’t help himself, he just had to let every woman know just how beautiful they are but in his heart…none of them, not a single one, compared to you. You held his heart in the palm of your hands, had him wrapped around not just one finger, but all of them and you were none the wiser of just how much control you held over him.

It was a wonder how you hadn’t notice just how whipped this man is for you, just how oblivious could you get? It was literally written all over his face just how much this man loves you. He would stare at you longer than necessary, not even bothering to look away when you catch him watching—no matter how embarrassed he felt—as you went about your day. He especially loved watching you as you became so immersed while drawing, painting everything that caused you wonder and fascination, you were most beautiful during those times.

His rapt attention to every word that spilled past those pretty lips of yours was another hint to his already obvious affection towards you. He would subconsciously lean over the island, closer to you, as if he couldn’t hear you as went on and on about the food back home, in your home country you missed so dearly. How could you not see it even when he would make that very same dish the very next day? How he would have his eyes on you once more as you thanked him profusely, eyes glittering with emotion as you ate everything off the plate?

Yet, he wanted to forget it all, to erase that smile of yours from his mind, and not remember the way you’d talk to him so sweetly in that sleepy little voice of yours as you kept him company every morning when he began cooking up breakfast for the whole crew. He knew you weren’t a morning person, having been a witness to you waking up at noon everyday before you started joining him in the kitchen.

Little things like these are what made him hope that maybe he had a chance with you, that it wasn’t so hopeless for him to get the woman of his dreams even though he felt that he did not deserve you in any way. It got especially worse after he had to leave with his family, or at least his blood related one. Oh how it hurt, how much agony it brought him when he had to leave everything that made him happy behind…when he had to leave you, his dream behind.

It hurt so much that he placed all his hopes on being able to live a somewhat happy life on Pudding. All of it was crushed…demoralized, almost as if he wasn’t meant to be happy in this life. How he missed you so during those times, when his whole life came crumbling beneath his feet and leaving him feeling so worthless…so utterly worthless. His tears were bitter, his anguish mixing in with the pouring rain as even the rain robbed him of his one time to just cry it all out.

But after everything he did to his friends, his captain, and to you, he knew it was the last thing he could ever have. He would ruin you, ruin your life like he has with others, and how he couldn’t be your love. It only left him being able to hope that you could have the life you deserve, that you can be happy, even if it meant a happy life without him because now…it would not mattered if he disappeared, no one here would notice. You were simply too far away for him now.

The world was just out to get him since from the day he came into it. Every good thing he had in life, he simply wasn’t allowed to keep, his mother, his sister, Pudding for a good moment, his friends…you. You were all he could think about as he wept hat night, listening to Pudding’s harsh words, your comforting words replaying in his mind whenever he was feeling down and the way you caressed his face, his hair whenever he needed it…like now, but you weren’t there. Not even the lighter wanted to offer him momentary solace, it was what lead to his breaking point, that little push to the edge was all he needed.

Which only left him feeling all the more grateful to be back on Thousand Sunny, with his friends and of course, you. He was glad everyone was willing to forgive him (of course, he did receive a good punch from Luffy, payback for disrespecting his captain), but he was especially happy when you were the first to welcome him back with open arms, hugging him so tight, he couldn’t breathe but he felt like he just wasn’t getting enough. He just wanted to forget the pain that the days on Whole cake brought him and never again wish to forget you.

He smiles softly to himself as he watches you from afar, sitting by your lonesome as you watched the horizon of the ocean beyond, picking at the pie he had given you just moments ago. He let out a small and shaky sigh as he set the tray aside after having served Robin and Nami their drinks, now making his way up the stairs leading up to the tangerine trees, where you sat solemnly and lost in thought.

“What’s wrong?” He spoke before he could even think, almost offering you a penny for your thoughts, wanting to know everything going through that mind of yours, to know what has you looking so worried. “Hm…” Is the only response he gets back from you in that moment, his heart sinking when you don’t even bother to look at him. He almost contemplates leaving you alone to your thoughts but before he could, you speak up again.

“Just have a lot on my mind.” His heart began to race, fighting back a smile, as he takes your words as an invitation to stay. He immediately grabs the free chair, the one other chair beside you on the little circular table you were eating on, or picking at your pie on. Once he was fully seated, he leaned in slightly, unable to help the desire of close proximity before speaking again himself.

“I’m all ears, mademoiselle.” He says with a gentle smile that he could only seem to give to you, and only you. He watched you with rapt attention as you silently contemplate, going from picking at your pie to holding your hot cup of coffee in both of your palms and staring into the cup. Why won’t you look at him? He could feel a small sense of panic rise from the pits of his stomach before his heart jumped at the sound of your tender voice.

“I’m glad you’re back.” The familiar warmth he always got whenever he is with you began to spread throughout his chest, that smile he couldn’t seem to control spreading across his face, his gaze softening as he continue staring at you. “I’m glad to be back.” He could see it on your face again, that strange and pained expression you sometimes made around him, it made his heart ache all over again, not understanding why you make such an expression whenever he was around.

He continues to watch you, his gaze going over to where yours is currently, landing on the black leather sketchbook you always seemed to carry with you. Curiosity piqued, mostly because no one had ever seen what exactly you drew in it, he opens his mouth before he could even think. “May I look through it?” He wanted to take the small chance that you just might let him be the first to finally be able to see what special things you hid in those pages

“Oh…um…” His heart was racing in anticipation, gaze going from your tapping fingers to your face, constantly, unable to choose on what to focus on more. “Yes, I guess you can look through it.” You sounded tired, you look tired, exhausted even as you slide the sketchbook over to him, a smile making his way to his face once again. He opens his mouth to thank you but you were already standing and walking away before he could.

His heart shattered, he was pretty use to it by now, though it didn’t make it hurt any less. With a defeated sigh, he reached to run the tips of his fingers over the leather cover, admiring the texture for a bit before finally opening it to it’s first official page. To say he was surprised would be an understatement of the century when he was met with a beautiful but light sketch of himself, leaning over the railing of Going Merry as he mindlessly puffed out wisps of smoke and stared out into the ocean.

His heart throbbed, blood rushing loudly in his ears as he turned to the next page, met with more sketches of him in various situations and doing various things. Such as, close ups of him glaring at certain ingredients, moving about in the kitchen, fighting with Zoro, and several of them also being of him just smiling while doing a variety of different things. The ones that had his heart hammering in his chest being the ones where you were drawing his face, just his face, in intricate details.

Hell, you even even added splashes of color to certain details, such as his eyes, his hair, sometimes the different clothes he wore, but he also noticed how you couldn’t get enough of his hands. These were the simpler ones—though there was nothing simple about them—while the otherw involved him doing things. It was a wonder when you had the time to take him in in such great detail, such as the ones involving him fighting, shopping, even more detailed ones of him cooking, him playing with everyone on the ship, while others made him blush as they involved him sleeping on the island and sitting on a stool, and others of his intimate little interactions with you, like kissing the back of your hand.

He releases another shaky little breath as he finally flips the last page, now staring at the back of it and making his heart drop. There was no mistaking that it still involved him, but it also involved Pudding, the two of whom shared what seemed to be an emotional and intimate moment as they kissed. It was enough to have him question many things as he abruptly stood up with the sketchbook in hand and rushed after you. He catches you just in time as you’re about to enter the kitchen, gently but firmly grabbing your arm.

“Wait.” His voice sounded almost pleading as he tried to coax you into turning around to face him. “Your drawings…” His heart hurt. He didn’t know what to make of it…couldn’t understand what it meant exactly. “They’re all of…me” You respond quickly at his realization. “Um…yes…they’re all you.” He feels like his world is now lighter, his hopes at being able to have what he feels he’ll never deserve, but then he remembers the last page involving him and Pudding.

“And this one…why is…why am I…” You were making that pained expression again as you hand him the empty plate that once held your pie and take the sketchbook from his hands, studying it closely for a while. “Stolen memories.” Was that really all you were going to give him? Especially when you keep making that expression? “I just…I’m trying to understand though, my lady. What does it all exactly mean?” He doesn’t remember this at all, and why on earth would you draw him like this? This is honestly something he didn’t like seeing. It made him feel like you didn’t really like him like he hoped you would.

“It’s my love…” You finally hand the sketchbook back to him, finally looking at him as you do. “I want you to have it.” Oh, the way his heart throbbed painfully once more, leaving him unable to resist wrapping his arms around you so tightly, enough that he knew he was probably hurting you and on any other day, he probably would have stopped and apologized over and over again. He held onto you for dear life because in his sparsed world, you would disappear.

He finally, but with great reluctance, lets go of you and gives you a small and confused smile, unable to no longer hold back just how deeply his affections for you are. He couldn’t help the need to touch you any longer, reaching up to caress your face, to hold your face in his palms as tenderly as he could muster while simultaneously leaning in, his hopes running high as his gaze goes back and forth from your eyes and your lips. “You are my reason for the strength I found to keep going…even when I had hit my lowest.” Don’t cry, don’t shed tears for him, he did not deserve them, and he couldn’t stand the way your lips quivered and your eyes glistened with unshed tears.

But goodness, did he love you. “I love you.” He couldn’t contain it anymore, allowing those three little words to slip past his lips as he held back his own tears once you began to quietly sob. He couldn’t resist anymore, especially with the way you clung to him, grasped at his shirt as he leaned the rest of the way in and pressed his lips to yours. Your salty tears on your lips only add to the already emotional and intimate moment as he engraves all these details in his mind, never wanting to forget this moment. You are now his.

His love.

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alexhatessupermarketcola · 16 days ago

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My Alex Rider related playlists

ft. some highlight songs from each to somewhat demonstrate the vibe that totally weren't very hard to pick lol

Alex Rider | Scorpia

My only one carefully curated in order - follows the plot of Scorpia loosely from the perspective of Alex - book and show inspired. Angsty and melodramatic

Ft. Death of an Optimist by grandson, Nothing and Everything by Red, The Kill by Thirty Seconds To Mars

Devil: Yassen and Alex

Inspired by The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea by pongnosis. Alex and Yassen centric. Pretty angsty too ft. some badassery

Ft. Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead, Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin, Kill or Be Killed by Muse

never too young to die | Alex Rider

My general Alex Rider playlist based around Alex - ft. badass, angst, fun, some show songs and just anything that I think fits tbh

Ft. All These Things I've Done by The Killers, Alive or Only Burning by Blind Channel, Young And Menace by Fall Out Boy

Yasha

My Yassen playlist - focused a lot on his past and arc. Angst and such things with a bit of badassery

Ft. What Happened To You by Black Honey, And The World Was Gone by Snow Ghosts, Love and a Smoking Gun by Des Rocs

Yassen | Two Sides of the Same Coin | Alex

Brand new, as in picking highlight songs for this made me cave 😆 Songs that fit both Yassen and Alex and their canon arcs. There's angst, of course.

Ft. Used To The Darkness by Des Rocs, Beautiful Crime by Tamer

Y+J

My Yassen and John playlist. Anything that I feel fits their unusual dynamic. From Yassen's perspective generally. Yay more angst 😆

Ft. Skeleton Key by Flower Face, Affection by Amber Run, Panic Attack by Halsey (show special for baby!Yassen lol)

Tom and Alex

My tomlex playlist. Equal parts fluff and angst. The playlists are getting shorter now.

Ft. OK by Black Honey, If You Wanna by The Vaccines, Cut the Cord by Black Honey

John Rider, Hunter

Possibly joint shortest. I started this because of two songs I heard. May grow one day.

Ft. Bambi by Tokyo Police Club, Portrait I by The Howl & The Hum

Kyralex

Fluff and angst. Songs that fit them. I never used to ship but after s3 they grew on me, evidenced by this playlist 🥺

Ft. Red Brake Lights by SAINT PHNX, Ride by Amber Run

Kyra Vaschenko-Chao

Possibly the shortest. Need to spend some time on this one because there's a lot I could probably add. Started with two Marina songs that were contenders for a Kyra fanvid I did back in 2020. It's pretty s1 rn.

Ft. Rootless by MARINA, What You Want by Evanescence

laukyra

A relic from 2020 - a Kyra and Laura ship playlist. I wrote a oneshot about them too. This one's actually long but niche so it got demoted down here. Probably best summarised as gay songs and Kyra angst - note to self: add Good Luck Babe 😆

Ft. Darling by Skott, Angela by Flower Face

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VYfa4E2DF35MRCfsSGshJ?si=BXrsX7F6QzKFtoKgFQjLQQ&pi=3xbJChkiSh-wE

(ran out of proper links because I accidentally made an 11th playlist whilst making this list oops) (so hopefully that laukyra one can be copy pasted lol)

Okay, phew, the end. Please rec any good AR playlists you know/made!!

#alex rider #Spotify #yassen gregorovich #alex rider tv #scorpia #kyralex #tomlex #john rider #kyra vaschenko chao #russian roulette #fandom playlist #the devil and the deep blue sea #tom harris #yassen x john #my playlists

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lostloveletters · 8 months ago

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Big Girls Don't Cry (Bucky Egan x OC)

Summary: After a night out spirals out of control, Holly thinks she's doomed to be a haunted house. Bucky’s brave enough to let the light in.

Note: An angsty first kiss for Holly and Bucky…I’m so overwhelmed by the response to the MotA fics I’ve posted so far, thank you so much🖤 There's going to be a parallel Woody/Brady-centric fic to this, which is why I included a decent ensemble here lol. Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Descriptions of a panic attack and related self-inflicted injuries; mentions of death and grief (hurt/comfort). Inevitable historical inaccuracies. Ends on a somewhat suggestive note, but nothing explicit.

Holly was exhausted when Bucky asked her to go to the pub in town with him and some of the other pilots that evening. She initially hesitated, but between his near insisting and her notion that a break from the base would do her good, she accepted the invitation. When she found Woody later on to ask if she was going, Brady had already invited her, a light blush spreading across Woody’s face when she told Holly. The overall group of seven required pushing two tables together and stealing some empty chairs.

“Holly, your drink’s on me. I got $4.50 when you won the last typing contest,” Bucky said.

“You bet on it?” Buck asked.

“I knew she’d win.”

“Beat her own record,” Woody added.

Buck shook his head, smiling a bit. Holly liked Buck a lot, especially the way his face lit up when she asked him about Marge. Seemed to be physically lighter, too, like the weight of being one of the de facto leaders of the 100th was off of his shoulders for that moment in time. He’d get almost flustered if he realized he was rambling, apologizing for taking up so much of her time talking about his girl even though she was the one who asked him.

“Which is why I’m buying my sailor a dark ‘n’ stormy, and the rest of you are on your own.”

She laughed, “Thanks, Bucky.”

‘My sailor.’ He had taken to calling her after they listened to the Nationals-Yankees game together. But she apparently inherited her sailorship from Stan, her preference for rum and penchant for cursing around Bucky (and few others), made him designate her so.

Nevermind she had only been on a boat a handful of times, one of which was the ship that brought her over to England from New York, and no, she didn’t know any sea shanties. He took it upon himself to learn one from a local laborer who worked on schooners at the turn of the century. Of course, Bucky had been drunk when he tried to teach her the song, remembering half of the lyrics and ad-libbing the rest. She left the singing to him.

She still had one secret–an anchor tattoo on her upper arm. An impulsive decision she and Stan made together when she accompanied him to San Francisco the week he shipped out to the Pacific. The same week she met Woody, and the rest of her life started before she could blink.

Being in the pub with everyone was the most normal she’d felt in a while. She hoped could finally shake whatever stormy clouds had made their home in her mind over the past year.

“Hey Holly, you’re from DC, right?” Curt asked abruptly. “You ever meet the President? See him around the neighborhood or something?”

She laughed. “No, unfortunately I’ve never run into President Roosevelt at the drug store.”

“How would he even do that? He’d get mobbed,” Crank said.

Woody nodded. “He’s probably got a mean security detail, too.”

“Well he can’t spend all day in the White House!”

“Why not? Heard they got a bowling alley in there,” Buck said.

“Woody, I’ll get you a beer?” Brady asked, his voice low among the clamor of what President Roosevelt did for fun in the nation's capital.

“Thanks, John.”

Holly sneaked a glance at her best friend when Brady stood up and headed over to the bar. She wasn’t sure if Woody had told him that Holly knew about them. There were few, if any secrets between Holly and Woody, and guys were certainly no exception.

“Look, if I were the president, I’d wanna know my neighbors,” Curt said.

“If you were president,” Buck repeated, toothpick between his teeth as he smiled. “Listen to him.”

“Hey, anybody can run,” Curt said. “That’s what it says in the Bill of Rights or something.”

“That doesn’t mean you should,” Crank said.

“You got my vote, Curt,” Bucky announced, setting his and Holly’s drinks on the table.

“Thanks, Bucky. You’ll be my VP.”

Bucky grinned, sitting next to Holly. His arm settled on the back of her seat, his fingers brushing the ends of her curly hair.

The next few minutes was a game of musical chairs as everyone else came and went with their drinks of choice, Brady taking the seat next to Woody as soon as it was open.

Holly found herself leaning against Bucky as she drank, nursing her dark ‘n’ stormy with the intent of making it last until it was time to leave. He was the only person she felt comfortable enough to be in such close contact with besides Woody. He felt like sitting next to the radiator in her childhood bedroom, and she nearly nodded off after some time, Buck and Bucky in the middle of some conversation she couldn’t follow.

Curt returned to the table with what must have been his third or fourth beer of the night.

“Hey Bucky, some of these blokes are lookin’ to play darts,” he said, motioning behind him.

Bucky nodded. “Hope they’re ready to cover my tab.” He threw back his whiskey and gave Holly’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he got up. “C’mon, doll.”

Holly didn’t remember much of what happened between then and when she heard it. An entire chunk of time morphed into a hazy blur in her mind. Vaguely remembered cheering for Bucky and Curt. Then Curt called an RAF pilot an asshole, and a fight nearly broke out before fizzling down by the grace of god. Or maybe Buck stepped in. Bucky had something to her before his turn, an aside she laughed at, but couldn’t recall.

Different conversations around her jumbled with one another, stringing together in a cruel way only her own mind could conjure up for her. She heard him clear as day.

“Stan?” she whispered, her voice crazed with illogical hope.

Her heart raced. She looked frantically around the room for a sign—any sign of him.

But Stan was dead. There’d been a funeral with a body. His mother wept over the open casket. Her own mother had written as much. Sent her the funeral program which remained hidden among her belongings.

She kept the accompanying memorial card on her person at all times. A nice photo of Stan in uniform. His full name. Dates of birth and death. A bible verse and a little mention of his service in the Navy.

Stan was dead. Had been for over a year.

Her chest tightened, pulling like a rubber band about to snap. As the room closed in on her, she barrelled through the pub patrons, paying no mind to who was in her path, only that they were between her and a door.

The cool night air shocked her skin, but it wasn’t enough to snuff out the burning in her lungs. Panic overtook her brain. With a strangled shout, she curled her fist, unleashing months of unspoken grief directly onto the brick wall in front of her. Pain struck her hand like a bolt of lightning, but she could breathe again.

Her knuckles split open, bruises blossoming across her fingers in the darkness. “Fuck!” she shouted, both in pain and disbelief at herself. “Motherfuck–”

The alley door slammed open, chaos from the bar ringing in her ears as she looked wide-eyed at the person who interrupted her. A tense mortification swept over her body.

She’d been doing so well. Kept the self-destructive thoughts at bay. Used to chew on her bottom lip until it bled, the pain of broken skin and taste of copper strangely grounding when her mind wandered too far. Hadn’t done in it months. But she never exploded. Not quite like this.

Bucky stumbled forward, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “Holly?” he asked, his gaze drifting down to her hand. “Jesus, what happened?”

Of course he would be the one to witness her breakdown. She wished it were Woody, but she sure as hell didn’t want to ruin her best friend’s night out with her boyfriend either.

Woody was used to it. Holly was always too embarrassed to go to a nurse, so Woody would sit her down and carefully apply petroleum jelly to Holly’s raw lips, eyebrows knit together in concerned concentration as her fingers brushed across the cracked, scabbed over skin. Didn’t care if she had been working for over twelve hours straight or was in the middle of something else.

But Bucky wasn’t Woody, and she never wanted him to see her like this.

Holly stared at him, trembling as he took a tentative step toward her. Tears welled up in her eyes. She frantically rubbed at them with her sleeve. She let out a shaky breath.

“Holly,” he repeated. “Are you alright?”

“I felt like I was going to explode in there so I came out here and…” She flexed her injured hand and winced. “I heard someone talking. He sounded just like Stan.” She swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling more pathetic as she explained herself. “I guess my wires got crossed.”

“Hey, it happens,” he tried assuring her. “You think you’re the only one?”

Holly shook her head. “Even when I got the letter last year, I still showed up and did what I had to do. Didn’t miss a day.” She was silent for a moment. “I don’t know why tonight was so different.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.” He took her bruised hand, whispering an apology when she hissed in pain. Examined it as best as he could in the cover of night. “At least not any more than you already have.”

“I punched a brick wall. I’m not gonna be able to type tomorrow,” she said, quickly adding, “I can’t go to a nurse. They’ll ask what happened, and I’d rather crawl in a hole somewhere.”

He shook his head. “C’mon, I’ll patch up that hand for you. It’s probably not even that bad.”

“Don’t cut your night short because of me.”

Briefly, almost enough to convince her it was just a trick of the moonlight, he looked uncharacteristically sheepish. “It’s the least I can do for making you come out tonight.”

“Bucky, you didn’t make me do anything. I don’t want to be some wilting flower who’s too afraid to keep living. Stan wouldn’t have wanted that for me. I just wish my brain would get the message.”

“Well, I’m sure Stan wouldn’t have wanted you to walk all the way back by yourself if you didn’t have to,” he said.

She smiled weakly. “Yeah, he’d chew me out for that.”

So would Bucky, if this had happened and he hadn’t found her. If she walked back to Thorpe Abbotts alone in the dead of night with nothing but the stars to keep her company. She never cared for them, especially not after Stan. They gave the night glistening teeth that tore her apart far too often for her to be comfortable beneath them.

“Hey, what about darts?” she asked, a good distance away from the pub.

“I pulled Crank in. He can hold his own. Besides, if there’s an angry bartender hunting me down on the base tomorrow, you could probably hold him off for me,” he joked, lightly elbowing her side. “You got one hell of a hook.”

“Stan taught me.”

“He taught you how to fight?”

“Sort of, but he was probably thinking more along the lines of self-defense instead of getting into fights with brick walls.”

“That wall had it coming. If you didn’t punch it, I probably would’ve.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Will you tell that to Chick so he doesn’t kill me tomorrow?”

“He’s not gonna kill you. Might be pissed that his best typist is gonna be out of commission for a few days, though.”

“I can still proofread. Or sort mail. Or—“

“Let me worry about that, alright?”

Holly hesitated. “Alright.”

—————

Bucky had the keys to the Air Exec office, empty for the night, and sat Holly down at her desk. He disappeared for a few minutes, but returned with an armful of peroxide bottles, absorbent cotton, and a roll of gauze.

“Geez Bucky, don’t waste all of that on me.”

“If I brought you to a nurse, they’d use it on you, anyway.”

He pulled up a chair, his knees touching hers as he took a closer look at her hand beneath a desk lamp. His eyebrows furrowed as he considered the dried blood, cuts that had already begun to scab over, and a particularly gnarly knuckle that didn’t sit quite right.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but one of your knuckles got dislocated. I’m gonna clean your hand and then pop it back into place.”

“Fuckin’ A,” she said. “I learned that from Stan, too.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“No. Neither did he.”

He snickered, grabbing the peroxide and some cotton. “What was Stan like, anyway? Sounds like an interesting guy from what you told me.”

“Stan was…” She paused. Nobody asked her about Stan. All anyone knew was what little she offered. What was he like? “He cursed like a—well, he was a sailor. Of course he was a Nationals fan. Loved detective novels. We’d have ones we’d read together and see who could figure out the big plot twist first. His front tooth was chipped, but god, he had the best smile. I’m talking serious wattage—“

“Wattage?” Bucky repeated incredulously.

“Okay, I made that up—think electric! He could light up a whole room with just his smile,” she emphasized with a smile of her own. “You know what I mean?”

He glanced up from her hand to her face for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“What else…we had this goofy thing going where we’d play tic-tac-toe in our letters to each other. I started doing that because I’m not great at writing letters. I never know what to say, but I wanted him to still look forward to getting them from me.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“I just started secretarial school when he got a job at this fish market up the street from my house. I remember thinking he was so handsome, he almost looked out of place,” Holly said, her voice soft for a moment. “Well, I’d spend so much time there that my mom would complain about how awful I smelled by the time I got home. I asked him out first.”

Bucky laughed. “You’re kidding.”

A wide grin spread across her face. “I wanted to make him mine before he could even think about another girl, so I went in one day and said, ‘When are you gonna take me to see a movie?’ Most guys wouldn’t have liked that, but Stan got a kick out of it. He’d tell the story to anyone who’d listen.” She paused. “I think what really scares me is that at some point, I’ll remember him for longer than I knew him, and I’m always gonna be…like this.”

“I’m gonna set your knuckle back in place now,” Bucky said, his voice low, almost contemplative.

Holly tensed, staring at the ceiling while Bucky pushed against her bruised knuckles. Bone clicked back into place. She groaned. Clenched her good hand into a fist, blinking away tears.

“Barely flinched,” he said. “You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for, doll.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

They were quiet as he finished bandaging her hand. The room was almost chatty though, buzzing overhead lights, ticking clock on the wall, a leaky pipe somewhere. Among them, a thought broke free from the confines of Bucky’s mind.

“Stan was lucky to have a girl like you waiting for him.”

Glassy brown eyes, wavering with the weight of the world, stared back at him in silence.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Holly. I shouldn’t have—”

She kissed him, her bandaged hand caressing his cheek. Weeks of silently longing, lusting, and wondering, answered in full as she moved her lips against his. Nearly forgot to kiss her back until he felt her pulling away.

He placed his hand over her bandaged one, still tenderly cupping his face. The gauze was rough against his skin, a contrast to the pads of her fingers. He curled his fingers around hers, her blunt nails lightly scraping against his cheek.

She gasped against his lips. “John.”

A shiver rolled down his spine as he brushed his thumb over the bandage he’d just finished wrapping, her knuckle that he set back in place for her. All for her. And she kissed him first.

‘I wanted to make him mine.’

Mine.

Her dulcet tone echoed in his head until he couldn’t think of anything but kissing her again, offering himself to her as the sole object of her affection.

Mineminemineminemine. “Holly, baby—” He was trying so hard to be coherent, nearly choking on his words until finally uttering, “I’m all yours.”

#bucky egan x oc #john egan x oc #bucky egan x ofc #john egan x ofc #masters of the air #bucky egan #john egan #masters of the air x oc #mota x oc #mota oc #masters of the air oc #ch: holly

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koffeekat · 1 month ago

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SPOILERS FOR MIZU5

Just read the entire story and aaaaajdjd😭😭

It genuinely made me stare at the ceiling for a solid 5 minutes and tear up (mainly because i love mizuki and somewhat relate to her)

All the memories with ena flashing before her eyes as she just stands there utterly terrified broke me the most. Ms hina (mizus va) and even and ms suzuki (enas va) really killed it with this one. Mizukis last words and the entire last chapter hit so SO HARD it was absolutely amazing‼️

Her room from secret distance which was once filled with everything she loves (and also was pink/feminine) now being dark and gloomy with a shattered mirror and broken mannequins is just heartbreaking tbh

Her dress also looks like its been torn and clawed at?? Im guessing the blindfold symbolises her feelings of not wanting ena (or the rest of the nightcord too) to actually see her like this + further more her fear of being shown kindness out of pity? (Im not really sure about how to word this) especially by ena

This is also the first time its been officially confirmed that she is infact trans (it was only HEAVILY implied but now its explicitly stated) i was sort of afraid they were going to backtrack but im glad they didnt do that

This event basically lived up to all the expectations but at what cost😭

Bake no hana (ghost flower in eng) fucking slaps‼️‼️ ive legit been listening to it non stop since release and there were a few details i noticed (⁠+⁠_⁠+⁠)

1. The total notes are 1003 on master with 1 being mizuki and 3 being the rest of the girls, showing the distance she places between them

2. Mizukis does not sing with the rest of the group and her vocals only ever overlap with kaitos

3. I havent properly searched up the translation yet but the lyrics seem all from mizukis pov (also the music video i think? With the blinking and all)

4. Even in the mv itself, mizuki is not present with the rest of the nightcord and only appears in frames with kaito

Her voicelines after the event are just depressing, she sounds so tired and sorta nihilistic (kinda like mafuyu in the main story) and shes also temporarily gone from the real world

Ena5 will most probably be in November and have mizuki as a 4* for the first time in an ena focus

Also something else i noticed in particular was

I guess this is foreshadowing for the next song in ena5 ? It seems so

All in all, these were my thoughts for the event (for now) kinda ended up writing an essay but yeah lol

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yuseirra · 3 months ago

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ONK CH 158 review and Character Analysis: the parallels of the protagonists with their parents + more

Starting off! I think this development might actually be okay, depending on what happens later.

It’s too early to judge whether the development is good or bad! I was really surprised... but after dissecting it, it's not as bad as I initially thought. I actually think it works and I like things about it. I've been analyzing very thoroughly lately, and I think it might be fine to wait out a bit more and see how things go.

This manga is excellent at character creation and relationship building, and this seems like a good time to explore the parallels they have with one another because it is THIS chapter that shows it very well. I thought I’d summarize my thoughts on that.

This analysis is probably the longest I've ever written, I had a lot of fun writing it too~

This was originally written in another language and I couldn't dare to rewrite the whole thing so I used my trusted partner, chatgpt 4.0.. If there's something off, it's probably that it didn't get the context. I'm going to skim over this, but writing a disclaimer just in case!

I feel like the character portrayal and relationship building in this manga are really well done, so I’ll try to summarize my thoughts on that.

(Unrelated, but "Don't"(from P3R) is really good; give it a listen!)

The lyrics of this song subtly resemble "Fatal" in tone. I've been listening to the instrumentals for it as I've been typing this out.

After reading Chapter 158, what surprised me is that despite the rushed and somewhat sparse development, I have a positive reaction to it. It’s not bad, and I’m being serious.

Though this is supposed to be the final arc, rather than tying up loose ends, each chapter still throws something new at us, and nothing has been resolved yet. Ruby tries to say something, but it immediately cuts away, and then Nino suddenly appears...

The real question is how they’re going to wrap this all up, and we can’t judge it just yet.

I didn’t predict the exact timing of the characters’ actions, but when I thought it over calmly, I realized I was pretty accurate in sense in guessing what the characters would do.

I predicted that Kamiki would turn himself in (lol), that Nino would attack Ruby, that Kamiki would see the video Ai left and change his mind at the last minute, leading to Nino’s confusion, and that Ryosuke and Nino would have some sort of relationship (it really seems like Ryosuke was acting under Nino’s orders). I really got all of that right!!

I also predicted that Ruby would surpass Ai. (There was foreshadowing, and unlike Ai, who started as an idol as a means to give love rather than as her life’s purpose, Ruby’s goal is to become an outstanding idol. Since Ruby is also Amaterasu, one of the most powerful deities in Japanese mythology, it makes sense that Ruby would surpass Ai. Ai might be related to Ame-no-Uzume or Benzaiten—Benzaiten is a goddess of the arts but also has a connection to love. These goddesses are of a lower rank compared to Amaterasu. Ame-no-Uzume’s role of bringing out a shining deity from a cave parallels Ai and Ruby’s relationship. Ruby wanted to become an idol after seeing Ai, who in this manga is concluded to be akin to a god (star).)

I’m bringing up part of my previous analysis of Ai: Ai’s efforts were partly for herself, but she also worked hard because she’s rather down-to-earth, and her motivation seemed to be making those around her happy. For instance, her reaction towards about having the dome concert was, “Is the dome that great? If it's everyone's dream, I guess it’s good,” and she tried to smile along. What’s important to this character is satisfying her curiosity about her inner void, while her achievements as an idol seemed secondary. That’s why the line about wanting to raise her children with Kamiki really hit me, because Ai’s idol work seemed to function more as a means rather than an end goal like it is for Ruby. But that doesn’t mean Ai didn’t work hard; she had a strong sense of responsibility and tried her best in everything she was given.

And seeing the mention of stars from Ruby... Yes! Stars are really important in this story, aren’t they? I've been stressing about it a whole lot lately, and I believe this is the right time to address that.

Upon close examination, the characters’ actions in this development largely align with their personalities and established traits. The confusing part is that so much hasn’t been revealed yet. What are the other characters doing? What exactly happened between these events?

It’s hard to grasp the characters' intentions because the story is progressing with so many things left hidden, creating confusion. But I think they’ll unravel these things later, so it might be best to wait.

I can’t imagine Aqua and Ruby didn’t prepare for this situation at all; if it turns out that they were caught off guard, it would be a really stupid development. However, doesn’t the last page seem oddly blurry? Why is the saturation so low on just that page? It might not be something that actually happened, just a “what if” scenario.

And even if Ruby being stabbed and in a life-threatening situation is real, there are still some possibilities for how the story could unfold (I wrote about this in this post), I don't think the chances of it happening are so high, though (but god..I want Kamiki to do something for once)

LOL, this author has a knack for condensing developments and aligning them with previous content in a way that seems chaotic to the reader... but there’s a bigger picture here. This manga is something you need to binge-read as a whole.

Looking at it from the perspective of character traits and what these characters would do, the consistency has been solid throughout. The characters’ actions make sense. If there’s something odd in this development, it’s the omitted characters. What did Aqua and Akane do? But since they haven’t appeared, there’s no way to judge.

As for Kamiki... I’ve been analyzing this character a lot lately. There isn’t much to piece together with Nino, so I had to predict with minimal information (and the actions she took were within that scope), but Kamiki... there hasn’t been much shown about what he’s been up to either (though I have a hunch... I think his songs indirectly reveal what he’s been doing all this time. So I dove in when I finally started to get it).

There’s consistency in how this character interacts with others and the actions he takes. He has a weak heart. And that perfectly aligns with why Ai was so worried and cared so much about him. It all fits. I was so anxious while analyzing him,...I can't stand the idea that Ai would see this guy, who sent another man to attack his ex-girlfriend who was raising his kids just because he was sad, in a sympathetic light. I felt that wouldn't be it from the way he spoke about her and that's why I could be very passionate about the ship (And is would that really a good story if it is?? That Ai genuinely loved such a man?;; Itd mean she chose the wrong person to love.) So, I was worried while analyzing, but no. This character is not that kind of person, and I’m about 90% sure of that after this chapter’s development. He’s just someone with terrible luck. He’s been cursed or something. This is the third time something like this has happened, for crying out loud!! I bet he was heartbroken and couldn’t attend the dome concert himself, so, he probably trusted Ryosuke who was said to be aquainted with Nino(since Ai seemed to want to be friends with Nino again, Kamiki probably knew this and trusted Nino, and him who she knows) to send a bouquet, and then disaster struck, and he fell into despair.

Now, I’ll start talking about the character design because the character portrayal in this manga is just amazing.

Kamiki... in terms of his motives for his actions, he’s a lot like Aqua. (They look similar, too, but the more I think about it, I feel like Kamiki’s natural personality and appearance are more like Ruby’s, the other twin. Their facial expressions and impressions are similar... Ruby may look just like Ai, but her physique, is similar to her father’s. She’s taller and has a broader figure than her mother. You could say the son takes after the father, and the daughter takes after the mother at first glance, but the more I see, the more it feels like Aqua takes after his mother and Ruby takes after her father.)

The twins really seem like they inherited traits from both parents. The more I see, the more fascinating it becomes... It’s like, if you were to create children for your characters, this is exactly how it should be done. They’ve done a great job designing them, and since I want to create my own story, if there’s anything I want to learn from this manga, it’s definitely this. It’s really impressive in that regard.

Back to motivation:

Kamiki (as I currently speculate) ended up taking extreme and desperate actions completely contrary to his nature after losing the person he loved (Ai) due to something he didn’t intend or wasn’t significantly responsible for (I really believe this character just tried to send flowers and it all went wrong, I'm convinced after reading Chapter 158;;).

This perfectly overlaps with Aqua’s motivation and the way he operates in the story. After losing Ai before his eyes, Aqua’s personality darkened, and he began doing things he wouldn’t normally do (using others, becoming colder, and having a twisted personality) to pursue “revenge for Ai.”

Their emotions are also similar. Aqua is severely self-critical, very depressed, and after losing Ai, he even considered just ending his life. But then he found a reason to live (revenge) and clung to it, thinking, “I can’t die yet.”

Aqua doesn’t self-deprecate in every line, but Kamiki does it once or twice every time he appears. I think his mental state is even worse than Aqua’s, and that’s because Ai was the only person in the world he could love... I’ve analyzed this before, right? For Kamiki, Ai was a combination of the positive influences that Akane and Kana had on Aqua, and moreover, Ai was his lover and the mother of his children, making her an extraordinarily special person to him. If he lost her in such a meaningless way (he probably didn’t expect Ai to die at all), given his inherently delicate nature and overwhelming guilt, he would be mentally shattered. For this reason, if this character acted after Ai’s death, it is highly likely that he would have acted even more extremely than Aqua.

The problem is, this character’s fundamental nature is much softer compared to Aqua and Ai. Aqua, despite suffering greatly while pursuing a revenge that didn’t align with his nature, was at least driven by a sense of duty and resolve. Kamiki’s situation is an escalation of this intensity, yet he cannot stop. There is no one currently to worry about him (like Akane did) or to bring him back to his original self (like Kana would). Such a person is dead and he wanted to see them again! He thinks it’s his fault they died!

Even though Aqua blames himself for it, Assuming Ai died because of Aqua is absurd; Aqua is in no way responsible for Ai’s death. However, it must be true that Kamiki provided the address (although, based on my reading up to Chapter 158, I’m convinced he only intended to send flowers). Therefore, Kamiki believes Ai died because of him. The level of guilt is different. He must have thought that something must be done to reverse this situation. He really wouldn't mind throwing himself away for his purpose.

Kamiki’s guilt is more profound, he was deeply influenced by Ai in his life, and his nature is inherently gentle and timid. And he's probably gone through actions that were twisted even more severely than Aqua’s. He's a genius actor. He acts well, but he's endured immense suffering. If you look closely at his smiling face, it’s almost as if his soul is dying. He smiles, but it’s similar to how Aqua might laugh maniacally after having decided to use Kana. Kamiki’s basic nature is softer, so instead of laughing maniacally, his smile is more subdued. It seems that he did contribute to the death of Yura. In the latest episode, there’s talk of being able to take a life for love. To revive Ai, there might be a cost to pay. Songs suggest that something like this might be the case. He might need to gather light and, feeling self-reproach, says in Mephisto’s final lyrics to his children, “Come and kill me.”

Observing Kamiki’s reactions and actions, he shows no particular signs of aggression in normal situations. If a person with this kind of nature had been involved in killing others or committing severe twisted acts, it would be actions completely against their inherent character. It would be extremely painful and unbearable. I’ve analyzed Aqua’s personality before: here's what I wrote there: noting that someone who inherently dislikes revenge and has a decent core personality would struggle with revenge (this connects to Aqua’s inherent tendency to help others, as he believes that fulfilling revenge for Ai is the same as doing something for Ai). This is why Aqua is constantly conflicted and, despite appearing rational, is hesitant and twisted. This also results in causing pain to those around him, leading to self-reproach and self-loathing, and he feels he shouldn’t be happy. Kamiki is likely experiencing this same feelings right now.

And it was Ai who brought about change in Kamiki’s heart. The only person capable of having such an impact on him was Ai, and she managed to achieve it even after death..

I have analyzed the relationship between Aqua and Kana and Akane, and compared it to the mutual relationship Kamiki had with Ai.

It's the same post I linked above, but let me do it again:

Here's how I analyzed there:

If Akane was the supportive one, then Kana was more about pulling Aqua towards her side. Drawing him towards the light, I think this aligns with Kana’s role in the story. When Aqua meets Kana, he gets revitalized (just this alone makes me think that Aqua must be truly happy with Kana).

I believe that what Ai wanted to give Hikaru ultimately was this: to support him, to share the burden with him, and then to live the future together. She wanted to share her future with him.

(...)

Both Aqua and Kana/Ai-Kamiki clearly had a similar heart- fluttering type of love for each other.

And the emotional thread between Aqua and Kana is definitely moving in a brighter direction together.

Ai wanted to give Hikaru that: to lead him from the dark place he was wandering in to the brighter side she was in.

Ai truly accomplished this. Even though she died a long time ago, she could achieve this with just a few words when it's came to him...

Kamiki probably intended to continue his path to find a way to either revive Ai or meet her in some way, and then he planned to die. Just like Aqua sometimes ominously says he has given up on becoming happy and that Ruby should be able to live even without him, it’s likely that if he continued on the path of the Black Star, he would've died.

Kana, who saw through Aqua’s feelings and told him not to even think about dying, was the one who prevented Aqua from choosing death. (Chapter 146). Kana, unknowingly, keeps pulling Aqua out of the darkness. It seems she really saved Aqua at that time. Along with Ruby’s forgiveness, Kana’s words might have been the catalyst for Aqua to correct his path of revenge, and hearing those words revitalized him.

I also think that at the very last moment, Ai managed to prevent the person she loved from dying because of her. It’s quite remarkable. Kana and Ai each turned Aqua and Kamiki away from their extreme paths to more moderate ones.

This episode revealed that a bit.

If Kamiki just turns himself in and does nothing more, I’d find it unsatisfactory, but, this parallel is what I found really clever.

Kana’s power over Aqua is surprisingly significant. Even small actions from her greatly affect Aqua. This aspect is very similar to the influence Ai had over Kamiki.

In every narrative aspect, Kamiki is a character who amplifies the emotions and motivations Aqua has. And Kamiki probably has a more delicate personality but has committed even more extreme actions. Kamiki represents the first "stage"(remember how Mephisto talks about "stages"? I think their stories could be a part of a big story, a "stage".), and Aqua represents the second stage. The second stage should use the first stage as a lesson to achieve better results.

Ruby and Ai are also the first and second stages. After reading Chapter 158, I felt it… Ah, it’s the reincarnation of Ai’s nightmare.

But is Ruby really going to be stabbed and die? Absolutely not. In fact, the way this situation suddenly emerged actually shows that such an outcome is definitely not going to happen.

Ruby will rise to a higher place than Ai. Ruby has set the goal of becoming a more brilliant idol than Ai, whereas Ai became an idol because she wanted to give love… In reality, Ai could have achieved that through her work with the children or Kamiki, and it was possible without necessarily being an idol, but Ruby’s story focuses on her career as an idol. The character’s motivation places a larger emphasis on the identity of being an "idol." Although Ai’s image as the "invincible idol" makes it hard to believe that Ruby can surpass her, (it would have been much more convincing if there had been more episodes showing Ruby’s growth in relation to this), there were indeed some foreshadowing and hints. Through the movie, Ruby came to understand Ai and thought, "I won’t end up like Mom," and that will really be the case. She won’t end up with the same fate as her mother.

Nino came dressed very similarly to Ryosuke and acted in a similar way, which means that the feelings these two characters have towards Ai are quite similar. When Nino appeared in the middle, her actions felt so, so it wasn’t surprising, and I had anticipated that this character would attack Ruby. For Nino, approaching an attacking Ruby when she's alone is more realistic and has a higher chance of success than disrupting a performance, so the occurrence of such an event with Nino appearing at this point seems to make sense. It was bound to happen at once point.

The problem with her attack actually succeeding would be that it'd make Kamiki and Aqua’s both appear extremely unaware and naïve (if Aqua can’t prevent this, it’s too sloppy considering he should have already identified Nino’s suspicious behavior, and well, Kamiki seems to be too innocent. I actually don't think it'd be out of character for HIM to be this way lol. This character truly… truly seems incapable of doubting others. He doesn’t understand human malice!!! He probably didn’t suspect Nino, Ryosuke at all. and there was no way he could know Uehara would go berserk, either. This became so apparent while reading this chapter that I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s over thirty. If Ruby is actually stabbed, Kamiki would freak out. How has he been living in the world until now with this, pure mindset? He seems so unchanged from how he was when he was young?). The page itself looks oddly blurred, making it seem like it might not actually have happened. The scene where "Nino tries to stab Ruby" is plausible. Anyhow, Given the direction in which this character has been shown, it’s a scene that could reasonably occur. The important thing is how it'd be handled and resolved later, but I believe the writers have a plan, they just drew things like this for shock value and to parallel what's happened in the earlier chapters.

And Kamiki has had at least three instances where things went bizarrely wrong, leading to people being on the verge of death or actually dying. Including Yura, that makes four times. What is this character? At this point in the story where nothing has been revealed, the characters who seem to hold the most surreal powers seem to be this character and Ruby, who seemed to be "receiving divine help" and thriving at one point. But since Kamiki’s situation appears to be completely uncontrollable, it seems like the god of absurdity and irrationality mentioned in Chapter 144 is targeting and tormenting him. It seems as though this entity is deliberately trying to drive him to despair and corruption. It’s unlikely that Kamiki himself is this god… the aftermath of these events has caused him so much suffering. At this point, he seems like a victim of a divine curse.

Examining the name of this character, it seems like his true identity might be Sarutahiko Okami, the god of light and the husband of the goddess Ame-no-Uzume. They are often depicted as a couple in subcultures, and in the Shin Megami Tensei series, they appear as summonable deities with a description of them being married. I drew a comic about this idea previously, you know? It's this comic right here:

Worried about his wife/lover hopping over to the human world, wanting to be human because she loved humans, Kamiki must have followed her, and they both lost their memories and are now wandering. Kamiki, when falling into a bad situation (which is why he had often been raising the black star since middle school), was brought happiness by Ai, who spent enjoyable times with him and led him to a better state. When he was just about to become truly happy, Ai made the decision to part ways for his sake, and Kamiki fell back into despair. It's truly unfair and absurd how his life keeps getting falling into this tormented state. I say this a lot, but he has a MISERABLE life, and I don't think that's just from pure luck. Something is cursing him from getting happy. Every time it seemed like he might finally be happy, something would erupt and prevent it from happening. I looked up at Sarutahiko, and he's a major deity and also a guardian of the land. He's related to purification rites, called "Misogi".

There was a description of the Sarutahiko Shrine, I found from a travel guide, it says, "Sarutahiko Okami is known to have appeared at the very beginning of all things to guide everything in the most benevolent direction." Kamiki has a hard time blaming others and is inherently kind. He still addresses the person who continuously tormented him, Airi, with honorifics, and even refers to Ryosuke as "Ryosuke-kun." He’s totally a pushover!!! People exploit him, and he thinks it’s all good as long as they are happy.. This psychology is quite plausible, and I pity him because of it, but It doesn’t seem to have changed much until now. His way of speaking and demeanor are still very gentle… When he appears in front of his children, his tone is very soft. By nature, he is extremely kind.

Is there a deity trying to corrupt him to increase their influence over the land?

However, it seems that Ai was able to protect him from crossing the final line.

I’ve written several things related to this, I'll just bring one example of what I've written once:

What kind of deity is the god of entertainment? If it’s the god of entertainment, it must be Ame-no-Uzume, right? It seems that the wishes made at the shrine have been fulfilled, albeit in some strange directions. Could this be Ai? Because in "Fatal", there's a lyric that goes: "selfish giant star ruined lives"… it seems to be connected with Ai, who is the incarnation of the brightest star. Her husband is a god of light, and the name connection with Hikaru is significant.

It also seems like Ai has become a guiding star, watching over everyone. In Chapter 118, the god girl spoke just as she described. That character was simply stating the truth.

Yeah. Something's been trying to corrupt Kamiki for so long now. I feel that is so... but he hasn't.. gone all the way after everything he's been through huh? In that case, maybe he also is strong in his own way.

At the end of this episode, when they talked about stars shining at night, I had this thought. Could it be that Ai, who has now become a star, is protecting her husband and children?

In the added scene from episode 1 of the anime, there’s a moment where Ai is shown smiling while pointing at the stars with her babies (during a flashback she has after having being stabbed).

Tsukuyomi’s statements are all pretty important. This character talks about "love" this time, right? If Ai is indeed a deity associated with love, it makes sense that there should be foreshadowing related to this.

Tsukuyomi, who is a friend of the other gods, might be pondering Ai’s experiences and those who loved Ai. It seems like Tsukuyomi is trying to understand what Ai’s concept of love is (Tsukuyomi was the one explaining Ai’s current state of having returned to the stars and the sea as well- how could she be so sure of it? Well she does deals with souls but I think Tsukuyomi is an acquaintance of Ai). It’s like a divine curiosity—wondering why Ai went through so much suffering by coming down to the human world.

Regarding the emotions listed alongside the characters, let’s talk about Kamiki’s feelings: I mentioned this in another post but I just really like it.

Desire, disappointment, and despair.

I think there are two major emotions related to each aspect:

The desire to be with Ai / The desire to revive Ai.

Disappointment from parting with Ai (it’s disappointment, not resentment. His heart was shattered, but this didn’t lead to aggression) / Disappointment from not being able to meet Ai no matter what.

Despair from Ai’s unexpected death / Despair from the inability to revive Ai.

These seem to align perfectly with the psychology of this character as I see it.

Kamiki has been in constant despair. His black eyes are a characteristic that appears when he is in despair. This changes twice in the story—once when Ruby shows the possibility of surpassing Ai (and he genuinely seemed pleased, as if he was proud of his daughter, right?) and again when he was shocked by what Ai said in the video. After that, his eyes are not shown, so I think he might have regained his composure. He probably returned as a white star.

This post got long and I'm worn out from writing everything here in one go: but I'd like to bring up that the main characters seem to inherit traits from their parents in a balanced way. Ruby also has aspects similar to Kamiki, and Aqua, in terms of motives and behavior, is a complete reflection of Kamiki, but his personality resembles Ai’s a lot. I also think Aqua’s eyes are similar to Ai’s, not Kamiki’s. If you look closely, Kamiki’s face is more slim, so Ruby looks more like him. The comment about Kaburagi finding Aqua’s face beautiful because it resembles Ai’s is accurate. Aqua resembles his mother more than expected. The face shows a blend of features, not just one side. It’s fascinating, and I think the character design is well done.

I’d also like to analyze how splitting Ai’s traits into two could lead to Kana and Akane.

So!! The relationship between Kamiki and Ai and the relationship between Aqua, Akane, and Kana are interlinked. Since I’m too tired to write it all out in one go, and I’ve written something similar before, I’ll skip that part.

The work is incredibly well-constructed. I think this work has a thoughtful design.

The protagonists experience situations very similar to those their parents went through, but they might achieve better outcomes. For instance, the B-Komachi group is much healthier than it was in Ai’s time, right? Things are already better than they were in the past,

Kamiki-Ai ended in tragedy (I hope they will still be happy though)

but Aqua won't end up like his dad.

Ruby won't end up like her mother either.

They're cleverly constructed to parallel each other, but are different, just as what Ruby claims. I actually have high hopes that this series would get a good closure after having seen how they are designed!

So yes, thanks for reading if you did!!/// It's going to be okay! If there's one thing I really admire about this manga, it's the way these characters are coined together and their psychology and relationships. That's the author's strength.. so no matter how this manga ends, I feel like it wouldn't stray too off from what the characters are essentially!

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #hikaai #aqukana #hikaru kamiki #ai hoshino #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #spoilers #the author is really clever with this aspect. I'm impressed!#no matter how this turns out- that part of them's what I really want to learn #long post #oshi no theories

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yonpote · 10 months ago

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re: dnp onscreen "personas" lol. i mean yall know what i mean by that but i feel like explaining it anyway just to be thorough. this is related to what ive been calling The Shift.

2011-2012 was around the time where the barrier between real dnp and the people they played was starting to be fortified. and like, part of it is just, with phils channel once he wanted it to be less video journal-y and more weird experimental short films, he still wanted to entertain people while talking abt his life, so maybe he would stretch a tale a bit or act a bit peppier than he is irl. and with dan, he had concepts literally from the start of what to do with his channel, and how it was inspired by a lot of sketch comedy based channels like communitychannel and [REDACTED]. so its not like it wasnt somewhat personas from the start, but 2012 was when it was cemented, and once they became known for being a duo it was just further self-flanderization. a Phanderization even. like intentionally playing into the ornery guy who makes bad puns and the happy go lucky guy who accidentally says innuendos. real tsukkomi and boke moment.

ok im gonna elaborate on why tatinof was a fanfic now :) this is the PEAK of phanderization, to me it's not a surprise that the cracks in the egg PERSONAS were starting to show bc they were just Fully In Character for like a year or so straight. in tatinof, the serious bitter eye-rolling "ugh dont do a song and dance" guy was dan (The Straight Man) (dont laugh thats just what its called) so of course his counterpart was the silly happy just having fun "i wanna burst into song!" guy was phil (The Fool). but when you watch their making of doc, dan says that HE'S the one who wanted to do the song and dance. if youre an Enthusiast abt dnp, you mightve already known that dan was a huge theater kid and loves the book of mormon n shit. phil likes theater too, but dan LOVES IT like not just watching but Performing. BUT to a regular degular in 2015 just casually watching or a huge fan but hasnt watched every liveshow ever or a phannie who just really believes in the Phanon, this may come as a surprise. phil is the happy silly ball of sunshine right? like ok. these aspects of their personality (dans bitterness and phil's positivity) aren't exactly LIES. but like obviously theyre just humans. this is what Interactive Introverts was TRYING to comment on, but imo i think fell short of its attempt bc in the end they were still trapped in their personas for the sake of Giving The People What They Want

ok i kinda tangented so back to the personas, it's not as if today they are Fully Raw And Real with us on screen, that's just kinda inherently never gonna happen, there will always be shit we don't know about them bc like. it's still a screen. BUT now that they are more real with us, we kinda see the energy of the olden days back, ofc less MegaRandomHyper and more gay millennial waffling. but it's them! cuz they really are so similar to the personas, but there's always an underlying layer of This Is A Bit. when dan's annoyed at phil for something we know he's not genuinely angry ESPECIALLY when we see that phil does it on purpose to rile him up. i think something strange is that, it's not like during 2012-2018 we didnt see stuff like this, dan's always been silly and phil's always been sarcastic, but bc so many people had bought into the Personas of danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, that ended up being cemented into fic.

ok i wanna ramble on more but maybe ill make a new post lmao

#oh i thought i posted this but it was just sitting on my ipad #myrambles #the shift

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angeltannis · 1 year ago

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So I listened to the entire Echoes from the Borderlands podcast #1 about BL1 and there wasn’t really too much of substance lore-wise, but the tidbits I appreciated were

-They wrote the entire story of BL1 in “about 40 hours”. Like, 1 work week. It shows tbh

-Angel’s name during development was VOG (pronounced like “vogue”), for “Voice of God”

-Tannis in BL1 was written by an autistic person! (Mikey Neumann) He said he drew on his own experiences as a person on the spectrum and how it would affect one’s reaction to trauma when writing her BL1 characterization.

-Lilith, Roland, Mordecai, and Tannis are all names from the Old Testament, but they didn’t really have any reason for doing that besides making it seem like there were deep meanings behind the names LOL

-They named the game “Borderlands” because they viewed it as an area in-between other areas (being the first RPG/shooter hybrid) . Randy compared it to an area of grassy concrete next to a highway but before the trees

-Randy originally wanted BL1’s gameplay to be a perfect loop, where you defeat the Destroyer and then Marcus pulls up in the bus and it’s the character select screen again. They added the Hyperion satellite and the Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap end scene literally just for shits and giggles and had no intention of following up on it. (They didn’t even plan to do DLC for BL1 at all)

-They started working on BL2 before BL1 even released

-Randy originally didn’t want a robot character, he thought it was “trite” and overdone, but once they made Claptrap into an annoying failguy he changed his mind and liked him.

-Before they got Cage the Elephant for the opening cutscene, Mikey wanted to try for some Bob Dylan song lol… and apparently Randy said No chance he’s gonna let us put one of his songs in this stupid ass game (not even kidding, that was his reasoning for picking another artist)

-Crazy Earl hiding behind a door was 100% a cost-cutting measure because they didn’t have the budget (or time) to design another character model

-the illustrated ink bits with Marcus’ storytelling at the beginning came from one of the guys just fucking around in After Effects very shortly before the game went gold

-it seems like the majority of this game was made that way lol. The title cards were Mikey fuckin around in Photoshop, the initial trailer was his very first trailer edit, and half the voices were just him and Randy because they didn’t have the budget for too many fancy VAs

-they like the art style of the series, but they also feel like it holds the series back somewhat. Randy mentions numerous instances of players rejecting the game on the basis of wanting something more realistic. (To which he says Fuck that lol and I agree)

-Related to that, they said they tend to focus more on what they want to create rather than how well they think it will or won’t do in the gaming market.

-They feel like developing the BL series is getting progressively more fun as they expand the world and see how far they can develop the setting, characters, and weapons.

#borderlands #echoes from the borderlands #Patricia Tannis #angel the siren #gearbox #Tannis

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pinchinschlimbah · 1 year ago

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So I came across this interview clipping a while back and it's been drilling holes in my brain ever since. Let's talk about it. Someone who the Boosh guys were friendly with (I censored it because I don't want R****** B****'s ugly face on my page lol) asked in a fairly jokey way "so like....are y'all gay for each other?" and on a public platform, Julian decided to answer with an earnest "yes."

And not only that! The answer is not just "yes", it's "yes and we think about it constantly." It's "yes and we believe that tension is the thing that's central to what makes our dynamic so good." It's "yes and we would explore it further if we felt we could but we're scared it'll make things weird." It's "yes and any time you've seen us exploring it on screen or stage, it is indeed a reflection of our actual feelings towards each other that we're too scared to try out in real life."

The moment I read this I decided that Noelian is canon. To me at least...you may have a different definition. For me, I don't know or care whether they've ever fucked, but this and countless other things they've said and done have shown me without a shadow of a doubt that the feelings and intentions of both love and lust were absolutely there and they acted on them in what ways they felt they could in the context of their lives and careers at that time, and that's real enough for me. On a related note can we talk about the intro to this performance where Julian explains that the song was written "during a blue time" near the start of their career together and Noel interrupts him to say "We'd made love, the chemistry had gone wrong" and then Julian gets somewhat flustered...........hmmmmm 👀

#the mighty boosh #noelian #gay yelling #shouts into void #I’ve royally fucked up my sleep schedule this week so I’m feeling extra insane sorry #3:32am send post

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junvibing · 3 months ago

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Artfully Yours

pairing: art major renjun! x fem!reader; youtuber!renjun

warnings: lots of art and ramen, renjun is very much in love, college

summary: Renjun wants to get you something special for your birthday. He has two problems though: 1. there’s not much time left, 2. he’s a perfectionist. But hey, at least Chenle gave him the perfect idea. Now, he only has to finish in time and hope you’ll love it.

wc: 12.5k

a/n: I’ve been working on this on and off for around a year lol. Anyways I really like it and I hope you do too! Leave me feedback haha this is my first long fanfic and honestly it’s special to me :’) <3 (posting this again cause I wanna try something haha)

song recommendation: Like we just met - nct dream

credit for art inspo: matlagesilke3 on pinterest

The second Renjun got home, he prepared to spend the rest of the day working on a drawing. Since it’s due for tomorrow’s Drawing II class, he really needs to put his energy into finishing it today. His art projects are often accompanied with him staying up into the nights to perfect them. Sometimes while painting his thoughts drift away and he starts thinking about other things. This tendency surely adds to him staying up late but for today he hopes he’ll be able to finish before midnight. That’s why Renjun starts gathering his materials quickly before sitting down at his desk. His room is a little messy but college is stressful and an art major is no exception. Especially since he is somewhat of a perfectionist but he couldn’t imagine studying anything else other than art. For as long as Renjun can remember, he was always interested in it. The way colors dance on the paper, the way they blend into each other or how he can create anything he wants and get lost in the process - he just loves it. One of his favorite things is to try out different art mediums and see how they work, how comfortable he could get with them and if he’ll resort back to them in the future. Over the years, he discovered that he loves painting with oil paints and watercolors the most as they bring him great joy and the best results. Both mediums can be tricky at the beginning and it wasn’t much different for him when he started out but proper practice helped a lot. However, Renjun also enjoys drawing on his tablet, which is especially useful if he wants to post his work online.

In his opinion, art is meant to be shared and what better way is there to reach lots of people than sharing it online? That’s why he had started to post his art on Twitter when he was still in middle school. Whenever someone retweeted his art, he felt so elated, it pushed him to continue sharing his work. In high school he even started exploring with posting videos on YouTube, all related to art of course. Jisung, his classmate and one of his best friends, had encouraged him to just go for it and soon enough his other friends had joined in. Thinking back to his very first YouTube video, Renjun lets out a chuckle. Dang, I was so nervous. Shaking his head, he continues sketching. The thing is he never used to show his face on Twitter, it was all about his art and creativity but with the encouraging words of Jisung and his other friends, he dared to show his face on YouTube, alongside his art of course. The first video Renjun ever posted was of him drawing Moomin fan art. Over the years, his channel actually gained quite a bit of attraction and while in high school, he would often daydream about making money with his artwork even though he knew his parents wouldn’t really support him in pursuing such a career. As far as Renjun knew, his parents wanted him to get a “real” career. But he spent most of his free time either with his friends or sketching, drawing and painting.

He still remembers the day clearly. It was fall and Mark invited you to come hang out with the boys. The dreamies, as Haechan likes to call their friend group, were still great friends even if they didn’t see each other everyday like they did back in high school. Mark actually mentioned your name before, it wasn’t your first time hanging out with the boys either but the few times you were with them, Renjun couldn’t make it, so he only officially met you in his second semester. Crazy, almost two and a half years ago. He can still remember exactly how he reacted to seeing you for the first time. The second Renjun’s eyes landed on you, the things and people around him somehow were moving in slow motion. To say he was intrigued by you would’ve been an understatement. You looked so mesmerizing, smiling at whatever Jisung was saying while the evening sun hit your face in the most beautiful way. Renjun felt like he was looking at the prettiest painting he ever laid his eyes on. All the beautiful, intricate art he saw over the years didn’t compare to you and he immediately wanted to introduce himself. From that day onwards you joined his dear collection of things he loves to draw the most.

It actually didn’t take long for Renjun to ask you out as there was no way he would be able to let you slip through his fingers. Over the years, your relationship has been going strong. Just like art you’ve become a constant in Renjun’s life that he wishes to never lose. With time, he even introduced you on his YouTube channel. It took a little convincing but after a while you were able to put your shyness away and join him in a vlog. Renjun smiles, thinking back to your first video together. Back then, he had decided to participate in the challenge of drawing under a blue light and you tagged along in his vlog at the beginning. It was fun for both of you and Renjun’s subscribers enjoyed seeing you guys together. The comments were flooded with how cute the two of you were and requests for you to join him more on his channel. But for today, Renjun’s plans don’t include any art challenge. It’s time to finish this still life. He needs the day tomorrow for something else, something more important.

The next day, with a fresh mind and his still life finished, Renjun prepares for a different project. There is still a bit of time left before he needs to get to class, so he wants to use it to start before it’s time to turn in his still life. Renjun has something special planned for you. Your birthday is just around the corner and he had been unsure on what to get you. Last year he got you a beautiful necklace with a butterfly charm. “To show you my appreciation” is what he had said when putting it on you. Renjun never wanted to stop feeling warm and fuzzy inside when he was with you. For this year’s gift, he was thinking about decor for your dorm room since you moved recently. Yet for some reason, whenever he was strolling through stores, keeping an eye out for a suitable gift, he felt like nothing fit perfectly. You don’t really need a new rug or pillows. Your room is already decorated with various plants. Just getting you a few scented candles like Mark suggested was too plain. Getting a mug was out of the question as it’s not special enough for you. Not to mention a mug technically isn’t decor. Although it could be. However, Renjun wanted to get you something special, something that shows he put thought into it and when speaking to Chenle about it the other day, he suggested the perfect idea: painting you a picture.

Hours later, Renjun is setting up his camera again. After his last class for today, art history, he got some lunch with the boys in the dining hall. Mark and Haechan had class though, so the group wasn’t complete. The boys catched up a little but Renjun didn’t want to spend too much time eating. There was still a project awaiting him at home after all. That’s why he only had a small chicken salad. Jaemin talked about how his professor has been kicking his butt with reading assignments for class and to be fair, Renjun could understand. There was just something unpleasant about having to read two 15 page papers about the causes and consequences of the French revolution. But Jaemin chose to major in history education. Although Renjun knows it’s not Jaemin’s fault for having an unpleasant professor. Chenle, however, hadn’t been that interested in his friend’s distress. “Glad I don’t have to deal with that”, is what he had said. “Yeah, you need to deal with statistical models dude, gross” Jaemin really doesn’t like math. But, the boys were all able to agree that college workload is a lot, whether one studies education or economics. “Chill guys”, Jeno had taken a bite of his pizza slice, “Jun, how’s it going with y/n’s gift?” Well, Renjun still has lots to do, which is why he had used that opportunity to briefly explain his progress and bid his friends goodbye to go straight to his dorm.

After almost two hours of painting, he takes a small break to get a snack. I should still have a pack of ramen left somewhere. Of course, only if his roommate Jay didn’t eat it. After locating the ramen and preparing it quickly, Renjun places his camera in front of him. “As you can see, I took a break guys. I’m sitting in the kitchen right now since I don’t want to expose myself to the smell of the paint unnecessarily. I only have a little bit of the background left. So, I think I should be able to finish in about twenty minutes or so.” Renjun turns his camera off to continue eating. Conveniently enough for him, you video call him while he’s still eating. So, he wasn’t rushed to get out of his room to hide his painting from you. Renjun answers your call while positioning his phone against the fruit bowl on the table. “Hi babe, hold up.” After his phone is stable, he smiles at you. “How was your day?” Seeing Renjun after a long day makes you sigh and smile at him. You just wanted to see him and hear his voice for a while to feel better. “Exhausting, I had so much class today and work was a mess.” You pout. You work at a coffee shop downtown a few days a week to save up some money. Sadly, more often than not, you have to deal with difficult customers. “I’m sorry to hear that, love. Did you just get home?” You nod. It is way past nine in the evening and you were ready to go to sleep in a bit, ideally with Renjun cuddling you but that won’t happen today. “Jun, how come you’re eating at this hour?” You know he doesn’t usually eat this late as he doesn’t like to go to bed with a full stomach. Renjun quickly tries to come up with a plausible answer. He doesn’t want to tell you that he spent a good portion of the day painting your gift. “I had a bit of a light lunch today, went out with the boys but didn’t eat too much.” That technically wasn’t a lie either. During lunch he was eager to go back home to paint your gift but the boys insisted he ate at least something before spending hours on it. Renjun and you spend the next ten minutes talking, before he sents you a kiss through the camera and you hang up for the night.

You were supposed to meet next to the library and just as agreed he sees you standing there, smiling down at your phone. You’re wearing one of his hoodies and jeans, quite simple but you still manage to look great. As if you had a feeling he was coming your way, you look up. Renjun kisses your cheek, “Hi love, missed you.” He holds out his hand for you. Putting your hand in his, you start walking towards a convenience store nearby campus. “Junnie, how was class? Did you manage to finish your charcoal drawing from last week?” A few weeks ago in Painting II, Renjun’s professor introduced the topic of shading with paint. His professor gave a deadline of one week to turn in a small charcoal drawing and today they had the first hour of class to finish it. The assignment was only intented to be a supplementary technique though. It would help to understand contrast and value as a basis for shading with paint. Charcoal isn’t a medium Renjun uses often, so he chose a somewhat simple object to draw, a vase full of your favorite flowers, tulips. “Yeah, I managed to finish it within the last ten minutes. The shading was a little tricky though. I’m not too satisfied with it but you know my perfectionist self.” Renjun smiles sheepishly. You know he takes his art seriously and has a tendency to focus a little too much on the details. Sometimes he would ask you to have a look at this work since your input helped him and over time he learned that looking at his art with a fresh set of eyes always worked. Nevertheless, in your opinion, he always manages to create something that was beautifully executed.

An hour later, Renjun walks you to your next class and squeezes your hand lovingly before making his way home. He is happy that he got to spend some quality time with you, even if it wasn’t very long. While walking back, he is mentally preparing a list of what he needs to paint next for your gift. Since the background was finished and hopefully dry, the next step would be to go into more detail by giving the trees more depth, properly outlining their roots and branches. Renjun also wants to add more color accents to the trees by painting green and slightly bluish leaves. He wants to mimic moon light shining through the forest. It would cast onto the leaves of the trees and give them a light blue tint. As soon as Renjun arrives home, he continues filming his painting process. “Hi painters, I’m back for the next round. Right now it’s Wednesday afternoon, meaning I have exactly 6 days left for this painting to finish, so it can still dry in time. Let’s go!” The next hours of Renjun’s day consisted of his open window, the smell of oil paints and color on his fingers. At one point, he did actually take a small break to eat, even his roommate Jay made an appearance. Renjun gets along just fine with him but both prefer to stay in their respective rooms, meaning they don’t see each other often. He literally is just his roommate, still a cool guy though. One time Jay even asked him for some art advice. Renjun didn’t really imagine him to be the type of guy to be interested in art, but turns out he wanted to try out something new. Of course, Renjun was happy to help and advise. Maybe this time for his painting he would ask Jay for his opinion.

Thursday flew by him it seemed. Renjun got in and out of class, worked on another assignment and met up with the dreamies. He didn’t continue to paint on the canvas because it was still too wet. Time is worrying him a little bit since the paint takes longer to dry than he likes and he still needs to do quite a bit. But he’ll push through. Renjun is determined to finish your gift one day before your birthday and there’s no way he’ll give you an unfinished painting.

The next day, your Friday lunch break falls short because of an essay you have to finish. However, this gives Renjun more time to perfect his painting for you, which he feels like he really needs. He spent so much time working on it, yet he still isn’t satisfied with the outcome. In fact, he feels like the painting was nowhere near being finished in time. There is something about the way he placed the sparks that he doesn’t like. The thing is, he can’t really pinpoint why exactly he doesn’t like it. They just aren’t really “flying” in the air well enough. Some are too close together, others too far apart. In a way it doesn’t look natural enough, but that in itself doesn’t make any sense, cause no normal forest has such sparks flying through it. Renjun was expecting them to deepen the magical feeling of the forest, but for some reason he couldn’t portray that feeling onto the canvas in a satisfactory way. Regardless, a few spots shouldn’t be enough to give him the feeling of not liking the placement of the sparks overall, right?

As soon as you see Renjun walking through the door of the coffee shop, you have a smile on your face. Your work day is slowly coming to an end and even though most customers today weren’t that difficult to handle, working a long shift naturally tires your body out, which is why it’s a pleasant surprise to see your boyfriend. “Junnie, what are you doing here?” Seeing you standing behind the counter smiling at him, gives Renjun a warm and comfy feeling. It was like all of his worries evaporated into thin air as soon as your beautiful face smiled up at him. “Hi love, came to see you. I needed a fresh breath of air.” You walk around the counter to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, the rag still in your left hand. As expected, his insides are feeling fuzzy again.

For the next hour Renjun works on adding enough highlights and blending around the sparks. He also adds a few more sparks to the forest. Taking a few steps back from his canvas, he regards the result. This time, Renjun definitely likes it a lot more. The sparks look nice against the dark forest and shine in different colors. It felt realistic and he was happy with the outcome so far. He grabs his camera, “Finally guys, I managed to paint the sparks in a way I’m satisfied with. I had the realization this morning that I needed to add highlights to them and I’m happy to report that it was a good idea.” Renjun shows his viewers the current state of his painting. “I’m thinking of continuing with the details of the two bent trees in the front. I only have a few days left to paint and I still need to work on the details of the pond.” Renjun puts his camera back on his desk again, before facing the canvas. These two trees still need leaves and defined roots. He wants to make them look like they are quite old.

Entering his room, the familiar sight of art materials, a few soda cans and an easel greets you. Renjun keeps his room mostly tidy except for whenever exam season hits and he has to deal with many art projects at the same time. Renjun’s habit of spending too much on details leads him to making full use of the deadlines, which in return stresses him out so much that he doesn’t bother a lot with cleaning. To you that’s fine, you aren’t much different in that aspect. Besides, why add more stress to exams by worrying about whether your room is clean or not. You make your way to his bed and put your handbag down, your gaze finding the empty easel in the middle of his room. That usually means he’s working on something. “Jun, what have you been working on?” Renjun’s gaze quickly follows yours. Dang, should’ve put that away! Okay, just say something. Quick! “Ahh love, you know I have a few projects due soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time painting.” Renjun sits down next to you, nodding as if he was trying to reassure himself that he wasn’t caught by you. But technically he didn’t lie. Quickly trying to change the subject, he grabs your plastic bag. Before coming over to Renjun’s place, you quickly got a few snacks at a convenience store. “No movie without snacks right? Oh and I got you some ramen as well, Jun.” He looks inside the plastic bag, it contains chips in two different flavors, some gummy bears, his favorite ramen and pretzel snacks. “Thank you love, I should still have some soda in the fridge for us.” Renjun stands up and takes a step in the direction of the door but halts as you grab his wrist. “Jun, can we prepare the ramen now? I’m actually quite hungry, I haven’t had dinner yet.” You’re hoping he agrees as the last thing you ate today was just a piece of toast a couple of hours ago. After your eight hour shift at work today you worked a little on an assignment before buying the snacks for tonight. Renjun immediately agrees, laughing a little. “Sure, I’ve literally wanted to make myself some ramen before you rang the bell.”

After cooking the ramen and grabbing two soda cans, you’re sitting on Renjun’s bed while turns off the lights before he grabs his laptop. Since he knows how much you like to have a few scented candles lit up while watching a movie, Renjun also does that before sitting cross-legged next to you and putting his blanket over you both. Turning on the third Harry Potter movie, you cuddle up to him and enjoy the evening together. Three weeks ago, Renjun and you had decided to rewatch all HP movies and so far you both enjoyed it very much. It’s been years since the last time you watched them, so you figured doing it together would be fun. That’s why you’ve met up with Renjun once a week for movie night, snacking away your worries and college stress for at least the few hours that you spend together with him. Sitting together under the blanket and just spending time together with him is one of your favorite things to do. It doesn’t matter if you watch a movie or drink tea together, you just enjoy spending time in Renjun’s arms. How can you not? Renjun is just so good to cuddle. That’s why you always end up putting your head on his shoulder, hugging him and it’s no different today. Your head is resting on his shoulder and his arm around you.

Around halfway through the movie, the cozy atmosphere and dim lit room actually make you sleepy. You did have a long day today and after a while, Renjun notices your lack of comments and snacking. Turning his head to look at you, he sees you fast asleep on his shoulder. Not wanting you to be cold, he places the blanket further up your body and tightens his arm around you. Renjun is unsure about waking you. Since you don’t need to work tomorrow morning, you could sleep over today. It’s been quite a while anyway since the last time you slept over at his place. To be honest, he kind of misses falling asleep with you next to him. However, if you are to sleep over, the painting will need to stay in Jay’s room for the night. I guess I could ask him. He probably wouldn’t mind. Renjun decides he would ask. So he slowly begins to move your head from his shoulder, hoping you won’t wake up. He really tries to be careful but apparently isn’t careful enough since you slowly start to wake up while he tries to lay your head down onto a pillow. Slowly sitting up, you quietly mumble his name. Your hooded eyes find the laptop screen still playing the movie. “I’m sorry love, didn’t wanna wake you” “It’s okay. When did I fall asleep?” Renjun smiles, “I’m not sure, some time ago.” “Oh” “Yeah, oh” He laughs a little. “Do you wanna sleep over, love?” You nod, you can just leave in the morning since you don’t need to work until the afternoon shift begins. Renjun and you decide to just wash up and relax in his bed. He doesn’t need to finish the movie and you’re so tired, you probably would’ve fallen asleep again anyways. Closing his laptop, you make your way to the bathroom he shares with his roommate. Renjun always has a toothbrush prepared for you even if you didn’t sleep over most nights. It’s pretty cute and someway along you also started to pick up that habit of his for whenever he would sleep over at your dorm. That didn’t happen so often though since you share your dorm room with another girl. It’s definitely more comfortable to sleep at his place since he has a room to himself.

Not even three minutes pass before he opens the door to his room. A soft smile makes its way onto Renjun’s lips as he sees you already comfy and ready in bed, waiting for him. Seems like the tiredness is slowly creeping up on you again. My poor baby. It’s not even 9:30 and she’s ready to call it a day. Renjun quickly turns off his light and gets in bed next to you. You turn around to face him and his arm automatically wraps itself around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You place your hand on his chest while your head rests on his arm. Renjun slowly strokes your hair, soft eyes looking at you in the dark. After a few minutes, you snuggle a little closer to him. Cuddling him like this makes you even more sleepy. You nuzzle your face into his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to lay a sweet kiss on top of your head. Renjun rests his cheek against the top of your head. Little words are exchanged as you welcome the comfortable and sleepy atmosphere. Except for your breathing, your heartbeats and the occasional sound of the blanket shuffling, the room is silent. You love moments like these. You love when Renjun cuddles with you, when you can feel his arms holding your body closely and his soft breath against your hair. You’ve always had a soft spot for his hugs anyway and being so close to him that you can listen to his heartbeat while feeling the warmth radiating from his body gives another level of bliss. You actually want to stay awake a little longer, want to consciously feel his body for some time more but it’s getting progressively harder for you to stay awake and Renjun sees how you struggle to. He murmurs against your hair, “Close your eyes, love. I know you had a long day” You feel another kiss on your hair and mumble an “I love you” to him before closing your eyes and letting sleep take over you. You barely manage to hear him say it back before you fully fall asleep.

Opening your eyes the next morning, Renjun’s sleeping face greets you. His hair is kind of messy and his shirt got pulled down a bit, exposing part of his collarbones. Renjun’s arm rests on top of your hip and your feet are touching. Watching him for a few minutes, you get lost in your thoughts. There’s just something different about him in this relaxed state. It’s like all the world’s stress and pressure can’t get to him, like he can truly be undisturbed and there’s nothing in the world less than peace and happiness that you wish for Renjun. You know he has tendencies that make his life, especially his college life, a little more difficult than it needs to be. But honestly who knew an art major could be so demanding? You used to have this picture in your head of an art major being easy. After all, the students only need to paint stuff, right? Yeah, not exactly. Because of Renjun, you were able to glance beyond surface level and it turns out, studying art is harder than it seems. Renjun has written exams, almost weekly mini art projects for his classes, he needs to hold presentations and when exam season comes around his room is piled up with different art materials for his creative projects. It truly seems like you have to love art to study it or else you will drown. Renjun gives his all for college and you love that for him but him being a perfectionist adds another layer of difficulty to his degree. Sometimes he really needs to relax. That’s why you like seeing him resting so much. He can shut the world out and doesn’t fry his brain with details of his unfinished projects. You get to see him recovering from all the work he puts into his passion.

You regard Renjun‘s sleeping state for a little while longer. The sun falls beautifully on him, partly on his face and hair. It highlights his slightly puffy face that he tends to get in the mornings. Your hand unconsciously reaches out and begins to stroke his hair slowly. Feeling your hand caressing his hair, Renjun stirs a little and sighs. It’s a very cute sight. Slowly opening his eyes after a few minutes, he smiles at you. Tightening his arm around your waist, you exchange a small kiss. Spending the morning with Renjun is usually a calm and loving experience. He likes to take his time in the mornings whenever he can, especially when he’s still a little sleepy. So you both spend a while wrapped in each other’s arms with quiet murmurs to not disturb the morning quietness, taking in the warmth of one another before slowly getting out of bed to get ready. After eating breakfast together you need to leave to go home. Since you didn’t plan on spending the night, you plan on making a stop at your dorm, changing into a different outfit and maybe reading a little before going to work today.

However, after regarding the thin layer of moss he painted, he isn’t really satisfied. It seems a bit too flat for his liking, so he decides to try a different approach and goes to the kitchen to get some coffee. Maybe adding a few sprinkles of ground coffee into the paint will create a more natural finish. After trying it out on a paper and liking it, he uses his mixture of paint and coffee for the moss on the canvas. Looks pretty good. Being satisfied with the moss, Renjun takes a few steps away from his canvas to have a look at the pond. It doesn’t necessarily look bad but there’s still something he doesn’t like. He feels like it’s kind of looking boring, which probably is because of a lack of details. That’s why for the next hour or so he spends his time perfecting the pond. In a spur of inspiration, Renjun also decides to add shadows of little fish inside the water.

Just in time for a small food break, Renjun finishes with the painting for now. He decides to come back to it after eating a bowl of ramen to regard it one last time before deciding if it’s really finished or not. Twenty minutes later, after he finished eating, Renjun stands in his room with crossed arms in front of the canvas. The window is open again, still his room very much smells like oil paints. His shirt and hands have paint on them, he truly looks like an artist in this moment. To him, there’s something strangely satisfying whenever he gets lost in painting so much that his hands and clothes show the proof. Renjun is satisfied with the outcome. It looks great. Exactly how I envisioned it. Finally. The forest looks enchanted, mysterious and doesn’t have too much or too little detail. It looks like a forest one could stumble upon in a fantasy world and that’s what he was going for. She will surely like it. Smiling, Renjun starts to collect his art materials to clean them.

But suddenly, he gets a thought. I totally forgot to film! He quickly gets his camera and presses record. “Hi painters, it’s the last day of painting. Tomorrow is just for drying and then it’s y/n’s birthday. I actually already finished the painting but forgot to film it. Sorry about that. It’s around 5 pm right now. Last night, y/n stayed over so I couldn’t wake up extra early to finish it. But it’s okay, I finished anyway. Have a look at the result.” Renjun turns his camera to show the canvas. “This is the finished product. I added details to the pond and some finishing touches today and I made some spontaneous decisions that turned out really well actually. ” He zooms in on the moss. “For the moss I added ground coffee into my paint. It gives it a more realistic finish, maybe give it a try some time.” Renjun laughs a little, “I think I might use this hack more often.” He turns the camera to show himself again, “I’m super satisfied with the result and actually very happy that I got finished in time. Although I wouldn’t recommend that you guys start a project this size in such a short time frame. Honestly, it was quite stressful. But I’m glad I was able to pull it off and I know for a fact that y/n’s gonna like it. Thank you guys so much for watching!” Turning his camera off, Renjun let out a happy sigh.

After Jisung joins, the whole group is complete and they spend the evening eating delicious food and talking. Renjun knows that he shouldn’t spend too much money there but stressful days of assignments and the painting is coming to an end and he wants to enjoy himself. That’s why he goes for dessert even when he was kinda full already. It’s okay, I deserve it. Soon, the relaxing evening comes to an end and the boys part ways. The day after tomorrow they’ll meet up at Jeno’s place to celebrate your birthday. You know it’s a bit strange to celebrate your birthday at Jeno’s place and you were a little hesitant at first. Of course you and Jeno are friends because of Junnie and your bestie, but not that close. Originally, you had planned to just hang out somewhere in the park but the weather has been kind of on the colder side lately. But, Jeno assured you that it’s fine. He’s living alone, meaning he has enough space to host your small birthday get-together. Having some people over is nice anyway and he knows most of the people you invited. Besides the dreamies and your best friend, only two other friends of yours were expected to come. So it’s really fine for Jeno. Not to mention, his girlfriend, your bestie, would probably be somewhat upset if he said no to you. You were the person to introduce them after all.

So when he and Mark arrive at Jeno’s place with your gift on the day of your birthday, Renjun puts it in Jeno’s bedroom. He knows you aren’t gonna go in there, so it’s a safe spot to hide it. After making sure the painting isn’t gonna slip while he’s away, Renjun starts to prepare snack bowls and places your cake into the fridge, before helping Jeno and Mark with some balloons and a happy birthday sign. There wasn’t much to prepare since you just want to spend your birthday relaxing with your friends. So soon enough, the three of them finish and around 6 pm everyone you invited is gathered on the floor around Jeno’s couch table, playing some board games and catching up. Throughout the day, Renjun films a few moments of your get-together. He wants to include your birthday party but especially your reaction to his present in his video. As the evening passes you turn to karaoke, singing songs from ABBA to Little Mix. At one point Renjun even starts to serenade you. He puts on quite a performance, singing Hot by Avril Lavigne and you totally enjoy it. It’s pretty funny actually, he’s pointing in your direction and dancing around. It’s nice seeing him so carefree. You’re kinda tempted to join and serenade him but he won’t let you outperform him anyway. Besides, Renjun really has a lot of energy to spend. It’s already 8 pm, gifts still haven’t been exchanged and he’s excited but also somewhat nervous for your reaction. He hopes you’ll love the painting as much as he does. However, there’s a part of him that fears he chose the wrong thing to paint but he tries to ignore that voice. You’re gonna love it, he just needs to keep on reminding himself of that.

You’re so overwhelmed and touched by the painting, the hard work and love he must’ve put into it that the only thing you can do is let out a sob. Renjun definitely didn’t expect that reaction. His eyes widen and he starts to panic inside. No no no, she hates it? I should’ve chosen something else, damn it! Your hand naturally finds its way onto your mouth, more tears rolling down your cheeks while you admire the painting for a few moments more. You know Renjun has always put thought into the gifts he got you, but this really is on another level. The amount of devotion he put into making this is unbelievable. You’ve never seen more beautiful art than this painting and he did it with his own two hands.

a/n: excuse any painting process parts or art major parts that might be inaccurate haha, oh and if you wanna request something, I’m open to hear your idea :)

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