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nevernonline · 1 year ago

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could i have (ot13 if comfortable but if not 95z and/or 96z) reaction to 14th member!reader debuting in a famous girl group aswell as being in svt, and how they would react if reader was to perform a "sexy" song during an award show <3

hi!! thank yew sm for the rec! they ended up getting LONG im so sorry, so I did everyone thru hoshi for now. if you want the rest pls come back to me lol. please enjoy, I hope you like it!! xo.

svt reactions to member and their gg doing a sexy debut concept:

seungcheol:

You decided to keep your new debut song as a secret from the rest of the boys. A little bit because you figured they’d roast you and a little bit because you were afraid of Seungcheol's reaction to the semi-skimpy outfit you were wearing. Behind the stage you caught a small glimpse of the monitor and noticed the members sitting just directly to the right of the performance stage, a perfect spot to see you in full view. Seungcheol was somewhat of an authority figure to you and ever since you could remember he was the one you wanted to impress the most. The sound of your in-ear kicked in and a stage direction came through it was time to take your place under the bright red lights donning the arena. Out of the corner of your eye you watched as he and the rest of the group clapped wildly while the music came over the speakers. You and your red lace tights, with a matching mini dress, and black garter began the carefully practiced movements. Seungcheol’s smile fell less and less as you continued your performance, not for the reason people thought, well maybe a little. He had never seen you like that, sexy and confident parading around in a dress that just slightly covered your butt. When the night was over you headed back to your room, he was sitting waiting for you outside. Just a subtle finger wave pulled you over to him and he confessed something through his clenched jaw. You looked too good for him to handle himself and that he wanted to be the only person who got to take you home, his jealousy got the better of him that night, but he knows now you only belonged to him.

jeonghan:

When Jeonghan found out you were debuting in a new unit he felt a little welcome of the green monster inside of him, not because you were moving on or moving up, whatever, but because he wasn’t the one controlling all of your attention anymore. You made new friends, you were off spending all of your nights practicing, getting a new hairstyle, clothes, a new life almost. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been over the moon happy for you, but that he just missed you. The days before your debut showcase, you sent a text to all the members an invitation to come watch the show, everyone replied, besides Jeonghan. It was weird to you, like, you weren’t sure the exact reasons he wouldn’t respond. He was still posting on instagram, weverse, going to work with the rest of the boys, but avoiding you. When the day finally came you saw the smiling faces of twelve of your friends in the crowd, missing the prettiest face of them all. You took your marks lying down on the floor, feeling your adrenaline rushing in your veins. As the saxophone started your hips left their original position on the floor and your head raised up greeted with the familiar lips of Jeonghan, smirking in your face. You felt the blood in your body boil, forcing you to hit the sultry choreography even harder than you normally would. Essentially showing off for him, grinding your hips fully into the movement, never leaving his gaze. After the showcase was over you and your members were all in the greenroom celebrating, when a knock came onto the door. A bouquet of flowers with a small pink note sticking out of them. ‘Down for a private showcase and an apology? 8:00pm at my place. Please come.’ - JH.

joshua:

When it came to you Joshua was just a little awkward, he never knew how to relate to you, not that he didn’t want to, it was just that you were fundamentally different. The members were asked to react for your group's YouTube channel to your new music video to a new title track called ‘What would you do?’ The concept was based around a girl having too many options for her next boyfriend after her ex was too jealous to keep her around. The reactions from the rest of the group were explosive and loud as they watched you and your members flirting with different guys in outfits that left basically nothing to the imagination. There was a moment in the music video that had him side eyeing the group around him, cheering you on as you kissed a random extra on the mouth, before he stripped you of your button down t-shirt. The feeling in his stomach was something he never felt towards you before. Suddenly he felt like that video was a message, Joshua was always jealous of the amount of male attention you had gotten, especially from outside people who you didn’t even know. He always tried to protect you from the gaze of them or their advances towards you. He realized how much he related to your on screen boyfriend, the one who wasn’t sure how to handle their partner getting a little too much attention from other sources and not enough from them, but he never made it clear that he felt that way and it wasn’t fair that he could be so filled with envy when you’re just doing your job. When the black screen came on the laptop, you asked the seventeen members their thoughts, Joshua stayed pretty quiet, just agreeing with the praises from everyone else. As the room became more empty he took a chance to come over to you and tell you his own thoughts without the camera rolling or other ears listening in. He admitted his jealousy and the reasons why he has been awkward around you as of late. It’s because he wanted you badly, but he was too shy until now to say it.

jun:

You and Jun had been secretly dating for over a year, it was easy to do. I mean mostly everyone saw you together twenty-four-seven anyway. You’ve been best friends at the company since you both got your contracts. Two friends who didn’t speak each other's languages but were willing to learn and grow together. When you got the invitation to debut in a new group outside of him, he was ecstatic for you, celebrating all the hard work you both put in for many years. It wasn’t hard telling him everything about what you and the rest of the girls were practicing and working on, you constantly showed him clips and had him listen to recordings from your debut EP you had been working on. One night you and Jun were sitting on the floor of your dorm, looking through the work you both had to do for the coming days when he came across a new file of your dance practice. He spotted you right away, tight white tank top and short denim shorts, your long socks pulled up past your knees. Before pressing play he flipped the screen of the ipad toward you with a menacing look on his face, basically begging for you to come clean about this particular video. He knew the concept of your group was not childish like girl crush or high schoolers, but he didn’t expect it to be so, what did he call it? Dirty? You prompted him to press play and he did multiple times over.

soonyoung:

Soonyoung wasn't used to you asking for help, especially with dance. But when you called him for help he was happy to oblige you and give you any advice you needed, you booked out a studio space, a room with dark colored walls and sultry lighting, soonyoung had come before you to warm up and mess around with some choreography on his own. The padlock of the door buzzed, revealing you in an oversized hoodie covering the tight pair of shorts underneath. Your hair was down, you had no makeup on, but you were accompanied by the singular black bar chair you dragged in your hand behind you. “Soony, hi. Thank you for coming.” Soonyoung greeted you and ran up to your side, helping you with your bag and the ominous chair. “I’m shocked you needed my help.” You shake your head, knowing exactly where he was coming from, but he was your only hope of getting comfortable with your new concept. Someone brave and not shy when it came to performing. “Once you see what it is, maybe you’ll think differently.” The bright screen of your laptop ignited between you as you pressed play to watch your performance leader and the choreographer dancing a passionate partner dance, involving that very black chair the male had been confused about before. “You guys are doing this?” You just shook your head yes pressing pause on the rest of the video where your male counterpart will exit the stage. “If you don’t want to help it’s okay, I get it.” Soonyoung pressed himself up off the ground, and grabbed your hands indicating he was willing to help. “No, I do. Come on.” He remembered all the times you were shy of physical touch, except from him. As you worked on the dance you had gotten closer and closer, his hands rested on your lower back as you twirled your body around the chair, ending with a moment of you straddling his thighs before the ending of his part where he picks you up for a partner lift, holding your barely clothes butt in his hands. He couldn’t imagine you getting the opportunity to do this with anybody else, not to mention in front of a crowd of people and many more online. As your body slid it’s way down his and you tried to break contact to walk and stop the music, he couldn’t let go.

#❃ - duffytalks #seventeen fluff #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #svt reactions #svt fic #svt texts #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #ask rec #seventeen fic #svt scenarios #joshua scenarios #seungcheol imagines #jeonghan imagines #junhui imagines #hoshi scenarios

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monodramatic-cannibal · 5 months ago

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Refs done for my UToc :DD He's called Nix-Ceto. His blaster's don't really have names, but oh well lol.

He's open for asks and such, I also don't mind ocs interacting as well. (also I don't mind others ocs being related to his lore either lol)

More info under the cut

Head canon voice: toe - グッドバイ / Goodbye

More info on his design:

His height is 5,9

Late 20s early 30s in terms of age (will edit if I choose an age), a little bit younger than most Sanses.

His clothing is made of somewhat waterproof fabric, so when water is available he may use it to travel as he finds it quicker to move around due to his tail allowing him to swim quicker

Tends to have triangle symbolism on his clothes that he wears, he does this subconsciously.

25% of the time he will have the fish blaster’s out just swimming along the air beside him. For no reason other than he likes watching them move around.

The sword and its case is something he can summon/desummon as well. But tends to have it with him 50% of the time since it does have a shoulder strap to carry it. (I also named his sword after this song)

When his eyes flare with magic it flashes/fades back and forth from yellow to blue.His ecto colour is also blue on the outside and yellow in the middle. (sort of like the fish blasters ecto)

Will randomly lose teeth, but due to having shark teeth/very similar mouth to sharks the tooth will quickly be replaced.

Despite the somewhat formal fashion sense he tends to look a bit scruffy, hates it if anyone tells him to tidy himself up.

The gaster blasters are inspired by how @.tinylittlefox1 (Twitter) draws gaster blasters. What his gaster blaster sounds like (The 'fish' blaster's don't have a noise yet)

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His magic:

Is able to summon multiple gaster blasters like normal Sanses, as well as the bone attacks and blue attacks.

His gaster blasters can go against his orders though, often doing different attacks e.g. instead of shooting a beam at someone they may bite someone instead. They might also not attack if Nix-Ceto doesn’t truly want to fight someone, or if someone had befriended the blasters.

Ceto also has two extra summons, in the ‘fish’ blasters, these can’t shoot beams but can create barriers/shields, can be used for multiple things, such as blocking attacks, trapping people, creating bridges, etc. He has more control over the fish blasters, but tends to let them do their own thing, since they seem to know the best times of when to defend him.

His other summon is his sword. His sword having a water effect whenever he swings it, and seems to create water when swinging it too, the more he swings it/the longer he uses it in a fight the more water it produces. Which Ceto will use to help in fights such as flicking this water in peoples faces to hopefully blind them for a second.

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Nix-Ceto (can have the nickname of Nix or Ceto) is a Sans that came from an au where he didn’t feel like he belonged, having a very hazy memory, and no memories of childhood. It turning out he came from a different au, and basically took the place of the Sans in this new au. He still did care for the friends in this au, and still viewed the Papyrus as his brother. But finding out he didn’t really belong here it inspired him to try to find where he did come from.

After an encounter with Dream, Dream helped him discover the fact he has the ability to open portals to other aus. Which leads him to now take the nickname Nix-Ceto to differentiate himself from the other Sanses. Out of respect for Dream he also goes round dealing with the smaller problems that don’t have the attention of the multiverse guardians/The Star-Sanses. He does this to try to relieve Dream of some stress not having more problems, and also because Nix wants more allies on his side, via helping aus out.

Over time his focus became less on trying to find his og au and more so just making memories and figuring out secrets and mysteries within the multiverse.

Nix-Ceto is described as a quiet cold individual by most people that meet him. But the few that actually take time to get to know him a little bit better discover he is an individual that cares a lot for others, that is willing to fight alongside others to help them achieve their hopes and dreams. Though the ones who get to know him also complain about the fact he never says goodbye when leaving.

Ceto never says goodbye since he thinks goodbyes are sad. What's the point in saying goodbye if they might meet again, and what's the point in saying goodbye if you're not to meet again. Ceto has a realistic view on life, verging into pessimistic way of viewing things. But he still holds onto what he views as good, and cherishes connections that he makes in the multiverse.

He doesn’t mind teaming up with others, and wouldn’t mind if others were to travel with him from time to time. Him often acting as a beacon of hope for others who want to see the multiverse and find their place. Ceto has seen plenty of travel partners come and go, and tends to remember each of them, and will even pass along their stories not letting the memories of their adventures go.

Most aus he goes to tend to be pacifist or neutral. Since there's not much he can do for a genocide au, the only time he may go to a geno au is if it's getting destroyed by an outside source, he will often help move people into the omega timeline. Most aus he tends to try not to get attached too, since he knows he will only be moving onto the next very soon. But other than 'his own', he got a soft spot for the au 'Oceantale', even though everything is underwater in the au he has no problem moving around due to his shark tail. With Oceantale he also gets a feel of familiarity, though he isn't sure why, he assumes it's because maybe he was originally from an au that heavily involves water, but he isn't too sure on that. Just generally any au with some ocean theme, or aus that take place on the surface involving water he tends to like more than other aus.

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Can either go by Nix, or Ceto as nicknames, most people tend to use Nix for him. Is sometimes thrown off by people using his full name if he's used to having that person use a nickname for him.

He often doesn't take many breaks when traveling around the multiverse. Often it's his companions who force him to take a break. He doesn't have too much he likes to do in his free time, but does try to take part in whatever one of his companions are doing in their free time.

He does enjoy music, often listening to quieter songs, most songs either with no vocals or with soft vocals in them. Preferring the music itself rather than a singer.

When it comes to food he's mostly not picky, he can make food himself, but it's normally 'decent', will often let companions he travels with make food instead. Though when feeling home sick he often misses food he'd make with Paps. Making a mental note to go visit his 'au'.

Doesn't tend to carry much, often may carry supplies with him, but tries to pack very lightly. This means he doesn't really like carrying anything around that he deems as unnecessary. Meaning if any aus try to give him gifts for helping he will often refuse, since it's normally gifts that aren't practical for him. Will normally accept food as gifts though, or generally supplies he will actually use.

Dislikes eye contact and physical touch. Very few people can actually hold his eyes, or touch him. If someone he doesn’t know touches him chances are he will flinch away and even say something like ‘ew’ at them. Just doesn’t like being noticed, and dislikes the feeling of being touched. Though for the people who are able to touch him may notice he seems touch starved.

When dealing with threats across the multiverse he often gives threats 2 chances to stop. One before he fights them, then another chance before he kills them. He knows it may make him as bad as these threats, but in his head they can’t hurt anyone else if they’re dead. They can’t cause any more problems if they’re dead. Nix sees what he does as a necessary evil, murder to get rid of the murderers/problems. He tries not to drag anyone else into these fights, since he knows a lot of people are against hurting, let alone killing, another being.

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Relationships/ (Friendships/etc) with other characters/thoughts on other characters: (will only write about my own ocs here, or fandom characters. Won’t write about others ocs due to not wanting to mischaracterize them)

Tanue: One of the companions he travels with frequently is Tanue. Tanue has been a constant thorn in his side since they met. Basically since Tanue realized Nix could travel around aus without help from one of the multiverse guardians/outcodes Tanue has been using Nix like an multiverse taxi. Nix at first was a little annoyed about being used like that, but over time the two got to know each other. And Nix holds a little bit of respect for Tanue, only a little. Nix will be one of the first to admit that Tanue has a good heart, and knows what he wants from life. Nix is a little jealous of Tanue in the regard of knows who he is and what he wants from life. But he doesn't let that effect their friendship. Nix travels around to solve problems, but Tanue often ends up being a problem himself, due to Tanue's love for fighting. But Nix due to so much time with Tanue is able to reel Tanue back in.

Yusuke: Someone who was in one of the first few aus he helped evacuate to the Omega Timeline while it was being deleted. Has known Yusuke for several years, he’s very close to Yusuke, and very protective over him. Sees Yusuke as his best friend, Yusuke being one of the only few people to easily joke around with Nix able to hold Nix’s gaze and touch Nix as well. Yusuke will often jokingly flirt with him, which he also finds amusing too, since it always comes at random times and often are unhinged flirts. Used to travel with Yusuke a lot, but Yusuke wanted to settle down in the Omega Timeline, and had begged him to do the same, which Nix didn’t want too. Which lead the two to not be in contact as often since Nix was always coming and going from the Omega Timeline. But due to a sudden change in Yusuke’s mind, Yusuke has decided to try to pick back up traveling with Nix.

Star Sanses: Mainly has respect for Dream, both for teaching him how to open portals, and Dream also encouraged him to find his original au, which started him out on this journey of his. The other two members of the stars he never met, so can’t say too much about them. Part of him knows Dream wouldn’t be happy with how he handles some problems, but in his eyes ‘they can’t be a problem anymore if they’re dead.’

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(if anyone wants to have any of their utau oc’s lore connected to Nix-Ceto’s story, e.g. as one of the people who traveled with him or is currently traveling with him, go for it lol. I don’t mind peoples ocs interacting with mine.)

(also this info on him might be subject to change, and I may add more to it over time lol)

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blondeewhorre · 1 year ago

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Just For You

Sanji's story about being in love with you

(Here is Sanji’s version! Lol…Anyways, I also did his story based off a song…cuz I love music. It’s good.👍🏽 Just down below. Still takes place after Whole Cake Island and SPOILERS if you squint enough.)

Your story

The day Sanji fell in love with you was the day his world began to turn once again on it’s axel. Oh yes, he loved you so very much that it would have hurt, if it didn’t bring him such joy. Everything about you just brightened his day, your beaming smile, your soft voice and gentle words, the fact you didn’t beat him black and blue the way Nami did whenever he got a little too carried away with his affection.

So why couldn’t things ever go the way he so desires? Sure, he was a big goofy flirt but sometimes he couldn’t help himself, he just had to let every woman know just how beautiful they are but in his heart…none of them, not a single one, compared to you. You held his heart in the palm of your hands, had him wrapped around not just one finger, but all of them and you were none the wiser of just how much control you held over him.

It was a wonder how you hadn’t notice just how whipped this man is for you, just how oblivious could you get? It was literally written all over his face just how much this man loves you. He would stare at you longer than necessary, not even bothering to look away when you catch him watching—no matter how embarrassed he felt—as you went about your day. He especially loved watching you as you became so immersed while drawing, painting everything that caused you wonder and fascination, you were most beautiful during those times.

His rapt attention to every word that spilled past those pretty lips of yours was another hint to his already obvious affection towards you. He would subconsciously lean over the island, closer to you, as if he couldn’t hear you as went on and on about the food back home, in your home country you missed so dearly. How could you not see it even when he would make that very same dish the very next day? How he would have his eyes on you once more as you thanked him profusely, eyes glittering with emotion as you ate everything off the plate?

Yet, he wanted to forget it all, to erase that smile of yours from his mind, and not remember the way you’d talk to him so sweetly in that sleepy little voice of yours as you kept him company every morning when he began cooking up breakfast for the whole crew. He knew you weren’t a morning person, having been a witness to you waking up at noon everyday before you started joining him in the kitchen.

Little things like these are what made him hope that maybe he had a chance with you, that it wasn’t so hopeless for him to get the woman of his dreams even though he felt that he did not deserve you in any way. It got especially worse after he had to leave with his family, or at least his blood related one. Oh how it hurt, how much agony it brought him when he had to leave everything that made him happy behind…when he had to leave you, his dream behind.

It hurt so much that he placed all his hopes on being able to live a somewhat happy life on Pudding. All of it was crushed…demoralized, almost as if he wasn’t meant to be happy in this life. How he missed you so during those times, when his whole life came crumbling beneath his feet and leaving him feeling so worthless…so utterly worthless. His tears were bitter, his anguish mixing in with the pouring rain as even the rain robbed him of his one time to just cry it all out.

But after everything he did to his friends, his captain, and to you, he knew it was the last thing he could ever have. He would ruin you, ruin your life like he has with others, and how he couldn’t be your love. It only left him being able to hope that you could have the life you deserve, that you can be happy, even if it meant a happy life without him because now…it would not mattered if he disappeared, no one here would notice. You were simply too far away for him now.

The world was just out to get him since from the day he came into it. Every good thing he had in life, he simply wasn’t allowed to keep, his mother, his sister, Pudding for a good moment, his friends…you. You were all he could think about as he wept hat night, listening to Pudding’s harsh words, your comforting words replaying in his mind whenever he was feeling down and the way you caressed his face, his hair whenever he needed it…like now, but you weren’t there. Not even the lighter wanted to offer him momentary solace, it was what lead to his breaking point, that little push to the edge was all he needed.

Which only left him feeling all the more grateful to be back on Thousand Sunny, with his friends and of course, you. He was glad everyone was willing to forgive him (of course, he did receive a good punch from Luffy, payback for disrespecting his captain), but he was especially happy when you were the first to welcome him back with open arms, hugging him so tight, he couldn’t breathe but he felt like he just wasn’t getting enough. He just wanted to forget the pain that the days on Whole cake brought him and never again wish to forget you.

He smiles softly to himself as he watches you from afar, sitting by your lonesome as you watched the horizon of the ocean beyond, picking at the pie he had given you just moments ago. He let out a small and shaky sigh as he set the tray aside after having served Robin and Nami their drinks, now making his way up the stairs leading up to the tangerine trees, where you sat solemnly and lost in thought.

“What’s wrong?” He spoke before he could even think, almost offering you a penny for your thoughts, wanting to know everything going through that mind of yours, to know what has you looking so worried. “Hm…” Is the only response he gets back from you in that moment, his heart sinking when you don’t even bother to look at him. He almost contemplates leaving you alone to your thoughts but before he could, you speak up again.

“Just have a lot on my mind.” His heart began to race, fighting back a smile, as he takes your words as an invitation to stay. He immediately grabs the free chair, the one other chair beside you on the little circular table you were eating on, or picking at your pie on. Once he was fully seated, he leaned in slightly, unable to help the desire of close proximity before speaking again himself.

“I’m all ears, mademoiselle.” He says with a gentle smile that he could only seem to give to you, and only you. He watched you with rapt attention as you silently contemplate, going from picking at your pie to holding your hot cup of coffee in both of your palms and staring into the cup. Why won’t you look at him? He could feel a small sense of panic rise from the pits of his stomach before his heart jumped at the sound of your tender voice.

“I’m glad you’re back.” The familiar warmth he always got whenever he is with you began to spread throughout his chest, that smile he couldn’t seem to control spreading across his face, his gaze softening as he continue staring at you. “I’m glad to be back.” He could see it on your face again, that strange and pained expression you sometimes made around him, it made his heart ache all over again, not understanding why you make such an expression whenever he was around.

He continues to watch you, his gaze going over to where yours is currently, landing on the black leather sketchbook you always seemed to carry with you. Curiosity piqued, mostly because no one had ever seen what exactly you drew in it, he opens his mouth before he could even think. “May I look through it?” He wanted to take the small chance that you just might let him be the first to finally be able to see what special things you hid in those pages

“Oh…um…” His heart was racing in anticipation, gaze going from your tapping fingers to your face, constantly, unable to choose on what to focus on more. “Yes, I guess you can look through it.” You sounded tired, you look tired, exhausted even as you slide the sketchbook over to him, a smile making his way to his face once again. He opens his mouth to thank you but you were already standing and walking away before he could.

His heart shattered, he was pretty use to it by now, though it didn’t make it hurt any less. With a defeated sigh, he reached to run the tips of his fingers over the leather cover, admiring the texture for a bit before finally opening it to it’s first official page. To say he was surprised would be an understatement of the century when he was met with a beautiful but light sketch of himself, leaning over the railing of Going Merry as he mindlessly puffed out wisps of smoke and stared out into the ocean.

His heart throbbed, blood rushing loudly in his ears as he turned to the next page, met with more sketches of him in various situations and doing various things. Such as, close ups of him glaring at certain ingredients, moving about in the kitchen, fighting with Zoro, and several of them also being of him just smiling while doing a variety of different things. The ones that had his heart hammering in his chest being the ones where you were drawing his face, just his face, in intricate details.

Hell, you even even added splashes of color to certain details, such as his eyes, his hair, sometimes the different clothes he wore, but he also noticed how you couldn’t get enough of his hands. These were the simpler ones—though there was nothing simple about them—while the otherw involved him doing things. It was a wonder when you had the time to take him in in such great detail, such as the ones involving him fighting, shopping, even more detailed ones of him cooking, him playing with everyone on the ship, while others made him blush as they involved him sleeping on the island and sitting on a stool, and others of his intimate little interactions with you, like kissing the back of your hand.

He releases another shaky little breath as he finally flips the last page, now staring at the back of it and making his heart drop. There was no mistaking that it still involved him, but it also involved Pudding, the two of whom shared what seemed to be an emotional and intimate moment as they kissed. It was enough to have him question many things as he abruptly stood up with the sketchbook in hand and rushed after you. He catches you just in time as you’re about to enter the kitchen, gently but firmly grabbing your arm.

“Wait.” His voice sounded almost pleading as he tried to coax you into turning around to face him. “Your drawings…” His heart hurt. He didn’t know what to make of it…couldn’t understand what it meant exactly. “They’re all of…me” You respond quickly at his realization. “Um…yes…they’re all you.” He feels like his world is now lighter, his hopes at being able to have what he feels he’ll never deserve, but then he remembers the last page involving him and Pudding.

“And this one…why is…why am I…” You were making that pained expression again as you hand him the empty plate that once held your pie and take the sketchbook from his hands, studying it closely for a while. “Stolen memories.” Was that really all you were going to give him? Especially when you keep making that expression? “I just…I’m trying to understand though, my lady. What does it all exactly mean?” He doesn’t remember this at all, and why on earth would you draw him like this? This is honestly something he didn’t like seeing. It made him feel like you didn’t really like him like he hoped you would.

“It’s my love…” You finally hand the sketchbook back to him, finally looking at him as you do. “I want you to have it.” Oh, the way his heart throbbed painfully once more, leaving him unable to resist wrapping his arms around you so tightly, enough that he knew he was probably hurting you and on any other day, he probably would have stopped and apologized over and over again. He held onto you for dear life because in his sparsed world, you would disappear.

He finally, but with great reluctance, lets go of you and gives you a small and confused smile, unable to no longer hold back just how deeply his affections for you are. He couldn’t help the need to touch you any longer, reaching up to caress your face, to hold your face in his palms as tenderly as he could muster while simultaneously leaning in, his hopes running high as his gaze goes back and forth from your eyes and your lips. “You are my reason for the strength I found to keep going…even when I had hit my lowest.” Don’t cry, don’t shed tears for him, he did not deserve them, and he couldn’t stand the way your lips quivered and your eyes glistened with unshed tears.

But goodness, did he love you. “I love you.” He couldn’t contain it anymore, allowing those three little words to slip past his lips as he held back his own tears once you began to quietly sob. He couldn’t resist anymore, especially with the way you clung to him, grasped at his shirt as he leaned the rest of the way in and pressed his lips to yours. Your salty tears on your lips only add to the already emotional and intimate moment as he engraves all these details in his mind, never wanting to forget this moment. You are now his.

His love.

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alexhatessupermarketcola · 2 months ago

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My Alex Rider related playlists

ft. some highlight songs from each to somewhat demonstrate the vibe that totally weren't very hard to pick lol

Alex Rider | Scorpia

My only one carefully curated in order - follows the plot of Scorpia loosely from the perspective of Alex - book and show inspired. Angsty and melodramatic

Ft. Death of an Optimist by grandson, Nothing and Everything by Red, The Kill by Thirty Seconds To Mars

Devil: Yassen and Alex

Inspired by The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea by pongnosis. Alex and Yassen centric. Pretty angsty too ft. some badassery

Ft. Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead, Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin, Kill or Be Killed by Muse

never too young to die | Alex Rider

My general Alex Rider playlist based around Alex - ft. badass, angst, fun, some show songs and just anything that I think fits tbh

Ft. All These Things I've Done by The Killers, Alive or Only Burning by Blind Channel, Young And Menace by Fall Out Boy

Yasha

My Yassen playlist - focused a lot on his past and arc. Angst and such things with a bit of badassery

Ft. What Happened To You by Black Honey, And The World Was Gone by Snow Ghosts, Love and a Smoking Gun by Des Rocs

Yassen | Two Sides of the Same Coin | Alex

Brand new, as in picking highlight songs for this made me cave 😆 Songs that fit both Yassen and Alex and their canon arcs. There's angst, of course.

Ft. Used To The Darkness by Des Rocs, Beautiful Crime by Tamer

Y+J

My Yassen and John playlist. Anything that I feel fits their unusual dynamic. From Yassen's perspective generally. Yay more angst 😆

Ft. Skeleton Key by Flower Face, Affection by Amber Run, Panic Attack by Halsey (show special for baby!Yassen lol)

Tom and Alex

My tomlex playlist. Equal parts fluff and angst. The playlists are getting shorter now.

Ft. OK by Black Honey, If You Wanna by The Vaccines, Cut the Cord by Black Honey

John Rider, Hunter

Possibly joint shortest. I started this because of two songs I heard. May grow one day.

Ft. Bambi by Tokyo Police Club, Portrait I by The Howl & The Hum

Kyralex

Fluff and angst. Songs that fit them. I never used to ship but after s3 they grew on me, evidenced by this playlist 🥺

Ft. Red Brake Lights by SAINT PHNX, Ride by Amber Run

Kyra Vaschenko-Chao

Possibly the shortest. Need to spend some time on this one because there's a lot I could probably add. Started with two Marina songs that were contenders for a Kyra fanvid I did back in 2020. It's pretty s1 rn.

Ft. Rootless by MARINA, What You Want by Evanescence

laukyra

A relic from 2020 - a Kyra and Laura ship playlist. I wrote a oneshot about them too. This one's actually long but niche so it got demoted down here. Probably best summarised as gay songs and Kyra angst - note to self: add Good Luck Babe 😆

Ft. Darling by Skott, Angela by Flower Face

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VYfa4E2DF35MRCfsSGshJ?si=BXrsX7F6QzKFtoKgFQjLQQ&pi=3xbJChkiSh-wE

(ran out of proper links because I accidentally made an 11th playlist whilst making this list oops) (so hopefully that laukyra one can be copy pasted lol)

Okay, phew, the end. Please rec any good AR playlists you know/made!!

#alex rider #Spotify #yassen gregorovich #alex rider tv #scorpia #kyralex #tomlex #john rider #kyra vaschenko chao #russian roulette #fandom playlist #the devil and the deep blue sea #tom harris #yassen x john #my playlists

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noel-levine-fan · 1 month ago

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Witch's Heart Survey Results - Sirius's Conclusion

! Please read everything and don't just skip to the results !

About a month ago, I posted a survey asking various questions about Witch's Heart. Here are the results!

Spoiler warning! Images used in this post may contain spoilers for all Witch's Heart games (except for Wilardo's conclusion). If you want to just see the results spoiler-free, click here.

This survey was posted before the English release of Wilardo's Conclusion, as such, the only Wilardo's Conclusion related response was the ability to pick Voice of Glamour as your favorite OP (because this OP released several months before the the release of the game).

I said I'd make a new version of the survey including Wilardo's Conclusion options a few weeks after the English release, however, this has been changed. I feel if the survey is too soon after this one, people will be less eager to fill out responses a second time. I also want to give Wilardo's Conclusion a while to sit in people's heads to see if any of their stances on favorite characters or ships changes. As such, I'm thinking I'll release the next survey when the OP for the next game releases. I know that will be a pretty long time, but I was thinking I'd make different versions of the survey for each conclusion (this this being Sirius's Conclusion ver... though it's pretty late for that game...), and all the game releases are gonna be pretty spaced out anyway, so why not, I suppose?

This is part one of the post! I really wanted to include images for every result, but tumblr's stupid image limit means this can only be part one. Please check the reblogs for the second and third parts.

I will ask to keep negativity out of reblogs. "X should've been higher..." "Why is X so high..." etc. Nothing inherently wrong with feeling that way, I just want this survey to be a fun positive thing! I can't stop you either way though, just a request.

Potential Biases

Because this was hosted by me, I expected preferences to be somewhat biased towards my content output. While not everyone who voted was a follower of mine, followers of mine are probably more likely to vote than non-followers, and followers of mine are probably more likely to enjoy the same things I do. It's worth noting that I am aware that just because I post about, say, Noel, a lot doesn't mean that every single one of my followers is as avid a Noel fan as I am, they may just enjoy content for every character including Noel, but avid Noel fans are probably more likely to follow me, and the people who follow me at the very least tolerate Noelposting - a Noel disliker is not likely to follow me. The same applies for pretty much everything I commonly post about. I thought I'd list out some possible result biases here.

Game Biases: I've never stated which game was my favorite, and my posts are more generally about the series than any specific game (though I did write notes on both Bonus Stage and Sirius's Conclusion for my replays of them), but I have referenced the content of Witch's Heart and Bonus Stage more than Sirius's Conclusion just because until I replayed it recently, I barely remembered anything that happened in Sirius's Conclusion lol. I don't really expect this to be a heavy bias though.

Song Biases: I've never mentioned any of the songs on my blog.

Character Biases: As you can see, I am a Noel blog, and very few of my posts aren't about Noel in some way. I also post about Noel and Sirius a lot, meaning I post about Sirius the second most. I post about Claire the third most because I'm a childhood trio enjoyer. I also like Lime, she's one of my favorites, but I'm not sure how much that comes across in my content output. I post about Dorothy more often than many others might.

Ship Biases: I'm a SiriNoel blog. I've posted about them a looot over the course of my blog in general. They're pretty much the only ship I regularly post about. I've also made a CharLime post and a ZizelClaire post, though the latter could be interpreted as not a ship post, so. I also don't post tooo much about the childhood trio together but I have a few times and I know I have at least quite a few followers who are SiriNoelClaire enjoyers.

I'll let you be the judge for yourself on how much these potential biases impacted the survey.

CG Usage

Some images have been cropped (the big ED images were cropped into CG size). I assuuumeee this is okay with the editing guidelines considering profile icons and banners are allowed and those are just cropped images, and the images are also displayed at this size within the game itself.

I tried to find good CGs for every character and pairing but some of the CGs are not ideal because there just weren't many good ones to pull from. Apologies in advance. (Once I play Wilardo's Conclusion, if there are any better options for a CG than what I put, I'll update the post to have those, but that might be a few days.)

There are and most likely never will be CGs or even good images of Monster Daniel, who got a vote. I put a cropped image of the only art that exists of him - I again hope that's okay with editing guidelines...

There are no CGs of Claire and Invective together as of now, so for their ship I had to put one of Invective possessing Claire.

There's only one WilSiri CG as of now, and we got votes for both platonic and romantic WilSiri, so unfortunately I had to put a CG that has Claire in it for one of them. ...There was also a vote for Claire/Sirius/Wilardo, so just so you don't mixed up, make sure to read the ship names and not just look at the images.

Results

We got a total of forty-four responses! Thank you to everyone who responded!

If you're wondering why the count of votes for a question might not line up with the number of responses, it's because users were encouraged to skip questions in which they did not have particularly strong opinions.

Results are listed from least votes to most votes to build suspense!

Question 1: What is your favorite game?

3. Witch's Heart: Unknown Past, Dorothy's Secret -Conclusion- (9 votes)

2. Witch's Heart (13 votes)

1. Witch's Heart -Bonus Stage- (20 votes)

Question 2: What is your favorite OP?

4. Inno-Syndrome (2 votes)

3. Voice of Glamour (6 votes)

2. DANCE (13 votes)

1. Moon and Wolf (15 votes)

Question 3: What is your favorite ED?

5. COSMOS (1 vote)

4. Tin Coffee Maker (3 votes)

3. Outrunning Sunset (4 votes)

2. Luna (8 votes)

1. Silver Boat (17 votes)

Question 4: Who is your favorite character? (Overall scores)

I asked for the top 5 characters. This count takes answers from all 5 questions into account, going by a point system which gives characters answered as the first favorite the most value and characters answered as the fifth favorite the least.

Worth noting, someone put two characters for their second place vote (Claire and Noel). That wasn't really supposed to happen, but until that happened, I hadn't clarified in the survey you could only put one character, so because that was my bad, I did count that as a legitimate vote for both of them.

First favorite: 5 points Second favorite: 4 points Third favorite: 3 points Fourth favorite: 2 points Fifth favorite: 1 point

12. Invective (1 point)

11. Daniel (2 points)

10. Dorothy Elford (6 points)

9. Charlotte (13 points)

8. Rouge (16 points)

7. Lime (23 points)

6. Zizel (29 points)

5. Wilardo Adler (72 points)

4. Ashe Bradley (92 points)

3. Claire Elford (118 points)

2. Sirius Gibson (123 points)

1. Noel Levine (134 points)

Continued in the next part.

#witch's heart #witch's heart spoilers

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lostloveletters · 10 months ago

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Big Girls Don't Cry (Bucky Egan x OC)

Summary: After a night out spirals out of control, Holly thinks she's doomed to be a haunted house. Bucky’s brave enough to let the light in.

Note: An angsty first kiss for Holly and Bucky…I’m so overwhelmed by the response to the MotA fics I’ve posted so far, thank you so much🖤 There's going to be a parallel Woody/Brady-centric fic to this, which is why I included a decent ensemble here lol. Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Descriptions of a panic attack and related self-inflicted injuries; mentions of death and grief (hurt/comfort). Inevitable historical inaccuracies. Ends on a somewhat suggestive note, but nothing explicit.

Holly was exhausted when Bucky asked her to go to the pub in town with him and some of the other pilots that evening. She initially hesitated, but between his near insisting and her notion that a break from the base would do her good, she accepted the invitation. When she found Woody later on to ask if she was going, Brady had already invited her, a light blush spreading across Woody’s face when she told Holly. The overall group of seven required pushing two tables together and stealing some empty chairs.

“Holly, your drink’s on me. I got $4.50 when you won the last typing contest,” Bucky said.

“You bet on it?” Buck asked.

“I knew she’d win.”

“Beat her own record,” Woody added.

Buck shook his head, smiling a bit. Holly liked Buck a lot, especially the way his face lit up when she asked him about Marge. Seemed to be physically lighter, too, like the weight of being one of the de facto leaders of the 100th was off of his shoulders for that moment in time. He’d get almost flustered if he realized he was rambling, apologizing for taking up so much of her time talking about his girl even though she was the one who asked him.

“Which is why I’m buying my sailor a dark ‘n’ stormy, and the rest of you are on your own.”

She laughed, “Thanks, Bucky.”

‘My sailor.’ He had taken to calling her after they listened to the Nationals-Yankees game together. But she apparently inherited her sailorship from Stan, her preference for rum and penchant for cursing around Bucky (and few others), made him designate her so.

Nevermind she had only been on a boat a handful of times, one of which was the ship that brought her over to England from New York, and no, she didn’t know any sea shanties. He took it upon himself to learn one from a local laborer who worked on schooners at the turn of the century. Of course, Bucky had been drunk when he tried to teach her the song, remembering half of the lyrics and ad-libbing the rest. She left the singing to him.

She still had one secret–an anchor tattoo on her upper arm. An impulsive decision she and Stan made together when she accompanied him to San Francisco the week he shipped out to the Pacific. The same week she met Woody, and the rest of her life started before she could blink.

Being in the pub with everyone was the most normal she’d felt in a while. She hoped could finally shake whatever stormy clouds had made their home in her mind over the past year.

“Hey Holly, you’re from DC, right?” Curt asked abruptly. “You ever meet the President? See him around the neighborhood or something?”

She laughed. “No, unfortunately I’ve never run into President Roosevelt at the drug store.”

“How would he even do that? He’d get mobbed,” Crank said.

Woody nodded. “He’s probably got a mean security detail, too.”

“Well he can’t spend all day in the White House!”

“Why not? Heard they got a bowling alley in there,” Buck said.

“Woody, I’ll get you a beer?” Brady asked, his voice low among the clamor of what President Roosevelt did for fun in the nation's capital.

“Thanks, John.”

Holly sneaked a glance at her best friend when Brady stood up and headed over to the bar. She wasn’t sure if Woody had told him that Holly knew about them. There were few, if any secrets between Holly and Woody, and guys were certainly no exception.

“Look, if I were the president, I’d wanna know my neighbors,” Curt said.

“If you were president,” Buck repeated, toothpick between his teeth as he smiled. “Listen to him.”

“Hey, anybody can run,” Curt said. “That’s what it says in the Bill of Rights or something.”

“That doesn’t mean you should,” Crank said.

“You got my vote, Curt,” Bucky announced, setting his and Holly’s drinks on the table.

“Thanks, Bucky. You’ll be my VP.”

Bucky grinned, sitting next to Holly. His arm settled on the back of her seat, his fingers brushing the ends of her curly hair.

The next few minutes was a game of musical chairs as everyone else came and went with their drinks of choice, Brady taking the seat next to Woody as soon as it was open.

Holly found herself leaning against Bucky as she drank, nursing her dark ‘n’ stormy with the intent of making it last until it was time to leave. He was the only person she felt comfortable enough to be in such close contact with besides Woody. He felt like sitting next to the radiator in her childhood bedroom, and she nearly nodded off after some time, Buck and Bucky in the middle of some conversation she couldn’t follow.

Curt returned to the table with what must have been his third or fourth beer of the night.

“Hey Bucky, some of these blokes are lookin’ to play darts,” he said, motioning behind him.

Bucky nodded. “Hope they’re ready to cover my tab.” He threw back his whiskey and gave Holly’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he got up. “C’mon, doll.”

Holly didn’t remember much of what happened between then and when she heard it. An entire chunk of time morphed into a hazy blur in her mind. Vaguely remembered cheering for Bucky and Curt. Then Curt called an RAF pilot an asshole, and a fight nearly broke out before fizzling down by the grace of god. Or maybe Buck stepped in. Bucky had something to her before his turn, an aside she laughed at, but couldn’t recall.

Different conversations around her jumbled with one another, stringing together in a cruel way only her own mind could conjure up for her. She heard him clear as day.

“Stan?” she whispered, her voice crazed with illogical hope.

Her heart raced. She looked frantically around the room for a sign—any sign of him.

But Stan was dead. There’d been a funeral with a body. His mother wept over the open casket. Her own mother had written as much. Sent her the funeral program which remained hidden among her belongings.

She kept the accompanying memorial card on her person at all times. A nice photo of Stan in uniform. His full name. Dates of birth and death. A bible verse and a little mention of his service in the Navy.

Stan was dead. Had been for over a year.

Her chest tightened, pulling like a rubber band about to snap. As the room closed in on her, she barrelled through the pub patrons, paying no mind to who was in her path, only that they were between her and a door.

The cool night air shocked her skin, but it wasn’t enough to snuff out the burning in her lungs. Panic overtook her brain. With a strangled shout, she curled her fist, unleashing months of unspoken grief directly onto the brick wall in front of her. Pain struck her hand like a bolt of lightning, but she could breathe again.

Her knuckles split open, bruises blossoming across her fingers in the darkness. “Fuck!” she shouted, both in pain and disbelief at herself. “Motherfuck–”

The alley door slammed open, chaos from the bar ringing in her ears as she looked wide-eyed at the person who interrupted her. A tense mortification swept over her body.

She’d been doing so well. Kept the self-destructive thoughts at bay. Used to chew on her bottom lip until it bled, the pain of broken skin and taste of copper strangely grounding when her mind wandered too far. Hadn’t done in it months. But she never exploded. Not quite like this.

Bucky stumbled forward, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “Holly?” he asked, his gaze drifting down to her hand. “Jesus, what happened?”

Of course he would be the one to witness her breakdown. She wished it were Woody, but she sure as hell didn’t want to ruin her best friend’s night out with her boyfriend either.

Woody was used to it. Holly was always too embarrassed to go to a nurse, so Woody would sit her down and carefully apply petroleum jelly to Holly’s raw lips, eyebrows knit together in concerned concentration as her fingers brushed across the cracked, scabbed over skin. Didn’t care if she had been working for over twelve hours straight or was in the middle of something else.

But Bucky wasn’t Woody, and she never wanted him to see her like this.

Holly stared at him, trembling as he took a tentative step toward her. Tears welled up in her eyes. She frantically rubbed at them with her sleeve. She let out a shaky breath.

“Holly,” he repeated. “Are you alright?”

“I felt like I was going to explode in there so I came out here and…” She flexed her injured hand and winced. “I heard someone talking. He sounded just like Stan.” She swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling more pathetic as she explained herself. “I guess my wires got crossed.”

“Hey, it happens,” he tried assuring her. “You think you’re the only one?”

Holly shook her head. “Even when I got the letter last year, I still showed up and did what I had to do. Didn’t miss a day.” She was silent for a moment. “I don’t know why tonight was so different.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.” He took her bruised hand, whispering an apology when she hissed in pain. Examined it as best as he could in the cover of night. “At least not any more than you already have.”

“I punched a brick wall. I’m not gonna be able to type tomorrow,” she said, quickly adding, “I can’t go to a nurse. They’ll ask what happened, and I’d rather crawl in a hole somewhere.”

He shook his head. “C’mon, I’ll patch up that hand for you. It’s probably not even that bad.”

“Don’t cut your night short because of me.”

Briefly, almost enough to convince her it was just a trick of the moonlight, he looked uncharacteristically sheepish. “It’s the least I can do for making you come out tonight.”

“Bucky, you didn’t make me do anything. I don’t want to be some wilting flower who’s too afraid to keep living. Stan wouldn’t have wanted that for me. I just wish my brain would get the message.”

“Well, I’m sure Stan wouldn’t have wanted you to walk all the way back by yourself if you didn’t have to,” he said.

She smiled weakly. “Yeah, he’d chew me out for that.”

So would Bucky, if this had happened and he hadn’t found her. If she walked back to Thorpe Abbotts alone in the dead of night with nothing but the stars to keep her company. She never cared for them, especially not after Stan. They gave the night glistening teeth that tore her apart far too often for her to be comfortable beneath them.

“Hey, what about darts?” she asked, a good distance away from the pub.

“I pulled Crank in. He can hold his own. Besides, if there’s an angry bartender hunting me down on the base tomorrow, you could probably hold him off for me,” he joked, lightly elbowing her side. “You got one hell of a hook.”

“Stan taught me.”

“He taught you how to fight?”

“Sort of, but he was probably thinking more along the lines of self-defense instead of getting into fights with brick walls.”

“That wall had it coming. If you didn’t punch it, I probably would’ve.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Will you tell that to Chick so he doesn’t kill me tomorrow?”

“He’s not gonna kill you. Might be pissed that his best typist is gonna be out of commission for a few days, though.”

“I can still proofread. Or sort mail. Or—“

“Let me worry about that, alright?”

Holly hesitated. “Alright.”

—————

Bucky had the keys to the Air Exec office, empty for the night, and sat Holly down at her desk. He disappeared for a few minutes, but returned with an armful of peroxide bottles, absorbent cotton, and a roll of gauze.

“Geez Bucky, don’t waste all of that on me.”

“If I brought you to a nurse, they’d use it on you, anyway.”

He pulled up a chair, his knees touching hers as he took a closer look at her hand beneath a desk lamp. His eyebrows furrowed as he considered the dried blood, cuts that had already begun to scab over, and a particularly gnarly knuckle that didn’t sit quite right.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but one of your knuckles got dislocated. I’m gonna clean your hand and then pop it back into place.”

“Fuckin’ A,” she said. “I learned that from Stan, too.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“No. Neither did he.”

He snickered, grabbing the peroxide and some cotton. “What was Stan like, anyway? Sounds like an interesting guy from what you told me.”

“Stan was…” She paused. Nobody asked her about Stan. All anyone knew was what little she offered. What was he like? “He cursed like a—well, he was a sailor. Of course he was a Nationals fan. Loved detective novels. We’d have ones we’d read together and see who could figure out the big plot twist first. His front tooth was chipped, but god, he had the best smile. I’m talking serious wattage—“

“Wattage?” Bucky repeated incredulously.

“Okay, I made that up—think electric! He could light up a whole room with just his smile,” she emphasized with a smile of her own. “You know what I mean?”

He glanced up from her hand to her face for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“What else…we had this goofy thing going where we’d play tic-tac-toe in our letters to each other. I started doing that because I’m not great at writing letters. I never know what to say, but I wanted him to still look forward to getting them from me.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“I just started secretarial school when he got a job at this fish market up the street from my house. I remember thinking he was so handsome, he almost looked out of place,” Holly said, her voice soft for a moment. “Well, I’d spend so much time there that my mom would complain about how awful I smelled by the time I got home. I asked him out first.”

Bucky laughed. “You’re kidding.”

A wide grin spread across her face. “I wanted to make him mine before he could even think about another girl, so I went in one day and said, ‘When are you gonna take me to see a movie?’ Most guys wouldn’t have liked that, but Stan got a kick out of it. He’d tell the story to anyone who’d listen.” She paused. “I think what really scares me is that at some point, I’ll remember him for longer than I knew him, and I’m always gonna be…like this.”

“I’m gonna set your knuckle back in place now,” Bucky said, his voice low, almost contemplative.

Holly tensed, staring at the ceiling while Bucky pushed against her bruised knuckles. Bone clicked back into place. She groaned. Clenched her good hand into a fist, blinking away tears.

“Barely flinched,” he said. “You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for, doll.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

They were quiet as he finished bandaging her hand. The room was almost chatty though, buzzing overhead lights, ticking clock on the wall, a leaky pipe somewhere. Among them, a thought broke free from the confines of Bucky’s mind.

“Stan was lucky to have a girl like you waiting for him.”

Glassy brown eyes, wavering with the weight of the world, stared back at him in silence.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Holly. I shouldn’t have—”

She kissed him, her bandaged hand caressing his cheek. Weeks of silently longing, lusting, and wondering, answered in full as she moved her lips against his. Nearly forgot to kiss her back until he felt her pulling away.

He placed his hand over her bandaged one, still tenderly cupping his face. The gauze was rough against his skin, a contrast to the pads of her fingers. He curled his fingers around hers, her blunt nails lightly scraping against his cheek.

She gasped against his lips. “John.”

A shiver rolled down his spine as he brushed his thumb over the bandage he’d just finished wrapping, her knuckle that he set back in place for her. All for her. And she kissed him first.

‘I wanted to make him mine.’

Mine.

Her dulcet tone echoed in his head until he couldn’t think of anything but kissing her again, offering himself to her as the sole object of her affection.

Mineminemineminemine. “Holly, baby—” He was trying so hard to be coherent, nearly choking on his words until finally uttering, “I’m all yours.”

#bucky egan x oc #john egan x oc #bucky egan x ofc #john egan x ofc #masters of the air #bucky egan #john egan #masters of the air x oc #mota x oc #mota oc #masters of the air oc #ch: holly

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yuseirra · 5 months ago

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ONK CH 158 review and Character Analysis: the parallels of the protagonists with their parents + more

Starting off! I think this development might actually be okay, depending on what happens later.

It’s too early to judge whether the development is good or bad! I was really surprised... but after dissecting it, it's not as bad as I initially thought. I actually think it works and I like things about it. I've been analyzing very thoroughly lately, and I think it might be fine to wait out a bit more and see how things go.

This manga is excellent at character creation and relationship building, and this seems like a good time to explore the parallels they have with one another because it is THIS chapter that shows it very well. I thought I’d summarize my thoughts on that.

This analysis is probably the longest I've ever written, I had a lot of fun writing it too~

This was originally written in another language and I couldn't dare to rewrite the whole thing so I used my trusted partner, chatgpt 4.0.. If there's something off, it's probably that it didn't get the context. I'm going to skim over this, but writing a disclaimer just in case!

I feel like the character portrayal and relationship building in this manga are really well done, so I’ll try to summarize my thoughts on that.

(Unrelated, but "Don't"(from P3R) is really good; give it a listen!)

The lyrics of this song subtly resemble "Fatal" in tone. I've been listening to the instrumentals for it as I've been typing this out.

After reading Chapter 158, what surprised me is that despite the rushed and somewhat sparse development, I have a positive reaction to it. It’s not bad, and I’m being serious.

Though this is supposed to be the final arc, rather than tying up loose ends, each chapter still throws something new at us, and nothing has been resolved yet. Ruby tries to say something, but it immediately cuts away, and then Nino suddenly appears...

The real question is how they’re going to wrap this all up, and we can’t judge it just yet.

I didn’t predict the exact timing of the characters’ actions, but when I thought it over calmly, I realized I was pretty accurate in sense in guessing what the characters would do.

I predicted that Kamiki would turn himself in (lol), that Nino would attack Ruby, that Kamiki would see the video Ai left and change his mind at the last minute, leading to Nino’s confusion, and that Ryosuke and Nino would have some sort of relationship (it really seems like Ryosuke was acting under Nino’s orders). I really got all of that right!!

I also predicted that Ruby would surpass Ai. (There was foreshadowing, and unlike Ai, who started as an idol as a means to give love rather than as her life’s purpose, Ruby’s goal is to become an outstanding idol. Since Ruby is also Amaterasu, one of the most powerful deities in Japanese mythology, it makes sense that Ruby would surpass Ai. Ai might be related to Ame-no-Uzume or Benzaiten—Benzaiten is a goddess of the arts but also has a connection to love. These goddesses are of a lower rank compared to Amaterasu. Ame-no-Uzume’s role of bringing out a shining deity from a cave parallels Ai and Ruby’s relationship. Ruby wanted to become an idol after seeing Ai, who in this manga is concluded to be akin to a god (star).)

I’m bringing up part of my previous analysis of Ai: Ai’s efforts were partly for herself, but she also worked hard because she’s rather down-to-earth, and her motivation seemed to be making those around her happy. For instance, her reaction towards about having the dome concert was, “Is the dome that great? If it's everyone's dream, I guess it’s good,” and she tried to smile along. What’s important to this character is satisfying her curiosity about her inner void, while her achievements as an idol seemed secondary. That’s why the line about wanting to raise her children with Kamiki really hit me, because Ai’s idol work seemed to function more as a means rather than an end goal like it is for Ruby. But that doesn’t mean Ai didn’t work hard; she had a strong sense of responsibility and tried her best in everything she was given.

And seeing the mention of stars from Ruby... Yes! Stars are really important in this story, aren’t they? I've been stressing about it a whole lot lately, and I believe this is the right time to address that.

Upon close examination, the characters’ actions in this development largely align with their personalities and established traits. The confusing part is that so much hasn’t been revealed yet. What are the other characters doing? What exactly happened between these events?

It’s hard to grasp the characters' intentions because the story is progressing with so many things left hidden, creating confusion. But I think they’ll unravel these things later, so it might be best to wait.

I can’t imagine Aqua and Ruby didn’t prepare for this situation at all; if it turns out that they were caught off guard, it would be a really stupid development. However, doesn’t the last page seem oddly blurry? Why is the saturation so low on just that page? It might not be something that actually happened, just a “what if” scenario.

And even if Ruby being stabbed and in a life-threatening situation is real, there are still some possibilities for how the story could unfold (I wrote about this in this post), I don't think the chances of it happening are so high, though (but god..I want Kamiki to do something for once)

LOL, this author has a knack for condensing developments and aligning them with previous content in a way that seems chaotic to the reader... but there’s a bigger picture here. This manga is something you need to binge-read as a whole.

Looking at it from the perspective of character traits and what these characters would do, the consistency has been solid throughout. The characters’ actions make sense. If there’s something odd in this development, it’s the omitted characters. What did Aqua and Akane do? But since they haven’t appeared, there’s no way to judge.

As for Kamiki... I’ve been analyzing this character a lot lately. There isn’t much to piece together with Nino, so I had to predict with minimal information (and the actions she took were within that scope), but Kamiki... there hasn’t been much shown about what he’s been up to either (though I have a hunch... I think his songs indirectly reveal what he’s been doing all this time. So I dove in when I finally started to get it).

There’s consistency in how this character interacts with others and the actions he takes. He has a weak heart. And that perfectly aligns with why Ai was so worried and cared so much about him. It all fits. I was so anxious while analyzing him,...I can't stand the idea that Ai would see this guy, who sent another man to attack his ex-girlfriend who was raising his kids just because he was sad, in a sympathetic light. I felt that wouldn't be it from the way he spoke about her and that's why I could be very passionate about the ship (And is would that really a good story if it is?? That Ai genuinely loved such a man?;; Itd mean she chose the wrong person to love.) So, I was worried while analyzing, but no. This character is not that kind of person, and I’m about 90% sure of that after this chapter’s development. He’s just someone with terrible luck. He’s been cursed or something. This is the third time something like this has happened, for crying out loud!! I bet he was heartbroken and couldn’t attend the dome concert himself, so, he probably trusted Ryosuke who was said to be aquainted with Nino(since Ai seemed to want to be friends with Nino again, Kamiki probably knew this and trusted Nino, and him who she knows) to send a bouquet, and then disaster struck, and he fell into despair.

Now, I’ll start talking about the character design because the character portrayal in this manga is just amazing.

Kamiki... in terms of his motives for his actions, he’s a lot like Aqua. (They look similar, too, but the more I think about it, I feel like Kamiki’s natural personality and appearance are more like Ruby’s, the other twin. Their facial expressions and impressions are similar... Ruby may look just like Ai, but her physique, is similar to her father’s. She’s taller and has a broader figure than her mother. You could say the son takes after the father, and the daughter takes after the mother at first glance, but the more I see, the more it feels like Aqua takes after his mother and Ruby takes after her father.)

The twins really seem like they inherited traits from both parents. The more I see, the more fascinating it becomes... It’s like, if you were to create children for your characters, this is exactly how it should be done. They’ve done a great job designing them, and since I want to create my own story, if there’s anything I want to learn from this manga, it’s definitely this. It’s really impressive in that regard.

Back to motivation:

Kamiki (as I currently speculate) ended up taking extreme and desperate actions completely contrary to his nature after losing the person he loved (Ai) due to something he didn’t intend or wasn’t significantly responsible for (I really believe this character just tried to send flowers and it all went wrong, I'm convinced after reading Chapter 158;;).

This perfectly overlaps with Aqua’s motivation and the way he operates in the story. After losing Ai before his eyes, Aqua’s personality darkened, and he began doing things he wouldn’t normally do (using others, becoming colder, and having a twisted personality) to pursue “revenge for Ai.”

Their emotions are also similar. Aqua is severely self-critical, very depressed, and after losing Ai, he even considered just ending his life. But then he found a reason to live (revenge) and clung to it, thinking, “I can’t die yet.”

Aqua doesn’t self-deprecate in every line, but Kamiki does it once or twice every time he appears. I think his mental state is even worse than Aqua’s, and that’s because Ai was the only person in the world he could love... I’ve analyzed this before, right? For Kamiki, Ai was a combination of the positive influences that Akane and Kana had on Aqua, and moreover, Ai was his lover and the mother of his children, making her an extraordinarily special person to him. If he lost her in such a meaningless way (he probably didn’t expect Ai to die at all), given his inherently delicate nature and overwhelming guilt, he would be mentally shattered. For this reason, if this character acted after Ai’s death, it is highly likely that he would have acted even more extremely than Aqua.

The problem is, this character’s fundamental nature is much softer compared to Aqua and Ai. Aqua, despite suffering greatly while pursuing a revenge that didn’t align with his nature, was at least driven by a sense of duty and resolve. Kamiki’s situation is an escalation of this intensity, yet he cannot stop. There is no one currently to worry about him (like Akane did) or to bring him back to his original self (like Kana would). Such a person is dead and he wanted to see them again! He thinks it’s his fault they died!

Even though Aqua blames himself for it, Assuming Ai died because of Aqua is absurd; Aqua is in no way responsible for Ai’s death. However, it must be true that Kamiki provided the address (although, based on my reading up to Chapter 158, I’m convinced he only intended to send flowers). Therefore, Kamiki believes Ai died because of him. The level of guilt is different. He must have thought that something must be done to reverse this situation. He really wouldn't mind throwing himself away for his purpose.

Kamiki’s guilt is more profound, he was deeply influenced by Ai in his life, and his nature is inherently gentle and timid. And he's probably gone through actions that were twisted even more severely than Aqua’s. He's a genius actor. He acts well, but he's endured immense suffering. If you look closely at his smiling face, it’s almost as if his soul is dying. He smiles, but it’s similar to how Aqua might laugh maniacally after having decided to use Kana. Kamiki’s basic nature is softer, so instead of laughing maniacally, his smile is more subdued. It seems that he did contribute to the death of Yura. In the latest episode, there’s talk of being able to take a life for love. To revive Ai, there might be a cost to pay. Songs suggest that something like this might be the case. He might need to gather light and, feeling self-reproach, says in Mephisto’s final lyrics to his children, “Come and kill me.”

Observing Kamiki’s reactions and actions, he shows no particular signs of aggression in normal situations. If a person with this kind of nature had been involved in killing others or committing severe twisted acts, it would be actions completely against their inherent character. It would be extremely painful and unbearable. I’ve analyzed Aqua’s personality before: here's what I wrote there: noting that someone who inherently dislikes revenge and has a decent core personality would struggle with revenge (this connects to Aqua’s inherent tendency to help others, as he believes that fulfilling revenge for Ai is the same as doing something for Ai). This is why Aqua is constantly conflicted and, despite appearing rational, is hesitant and twisted. This also results in causing pain to those around him, leading to self-reproach and self-loathing, and he feels he shouldn’t be happy. Kamiki is likely experiencing this same feelings right now.

And it was Ai who brought about change in Kamiki’s heart. The only person capable of having such an impact on him was Ai, and she managed to achieve it even after death..

I have analyzed the relationship between Aqua and Kana and Akane, and compared it to the mutual relationship Kamiki had with Ai.

It's the same post I linked above, but let me do it again:

Here's how I analyzed there:

If Akane was the supportive one, then Kana was more about pulling Aqua towards her side. Drawing him towards the light, I think this aligns with Kana’s role in the story. When Aqua meets Kana, he gets revitalized (just this alone makes me think that Aqua must be truly happy with Kana).

I believe that what Ai wanted to give Hikaru ultimately was this: to support him, to share the burden with him, and then to live the future together. She wanted to share her future with him.

(...)

Both Aqua and Kana/Ai-Kamiki clearly had a similar heart- fluttering type of love for each other.

And the emotional thread between Aqua and Kana is definitely moving in a brighter direction together.

Ai wanted to give Hikaru that: to lead him from the dark place he was wandering in to the brighter side she was in.

Ai truly accomplished this. Even though she died a long time ago, she could achieve this with just a few words when it's came to him...

Kamiki probably intended to continue his path to find a way to either revive Ai or meet her in some way, and then he planned to die. Just like Aqua sometimes ominously says he has given up on becoming happy and that Ruby should be able to live even without him, it’s likely that if he continued on the path of the Black Star, he would've died.

Kana, who saw through Aqua’s feelings and told him not to even think about dying, was the one who prevented Aqua from choosing death. (Chapter 146). Kana, unknowingly, keeps pulling Aqua out of the darkness. It seems she really saved Aqua at that time. Along with Ruby’s forgiveness, Kana’s words might have been the catalyst for Aqua to correct his path of revenge, and hearing those words revitalized him.

I also think that at the very last moment, Ai managed to prevent the person she loved from dying because of her. It’s quite remarkable. Kana and Ai each turned Aqua and Kamiki away from their extreme paths to more moderate ones.

This episode revealed that a bit.

If Kamiki just turns himself in and does nothing more, I’d find it unsatisfactory, but, this parallel is what I found really clever.

Kana’s power over Aqua is surprisingly significant. Even small actions from her greatly affect Aqua. This aspect is very similar to the influence Ai had over Kamiki.

In every narrative aspect, Kamiki is a character who amplifies the emotions and motivations Aqua has. And Kamiki probably has a more delicate personality but has committed even more extreme actions. Kamiki represents the first "stage"(remember how Mephisto talks about "stages"? I think their stories could be a part of a big story, a "stage".), and Aqua represents the second stage. The second stage should use the first stage as a lesson to achieve better results.

Ruby and Ai are also the first and second stages. After reading Chapter 158, I felt it… Ah, it’s the reincarnation of Ai’s nightmare.

But is Ruby really going to be stabbed and die? Absolutely not. In fact, the way this situation suddenly emerged actually shows that such an outcome is definitely not going to happen.

Ruby will rise to a higher place than Ai. Ruby has set the goal of becoming a more brilliant idol than Ai, whereas Ai became an idol because she wanted to give love… In reality, Ai could have achieved that through her work with the children or Kamiki, and it was possible without necessarily being an idol, but Ruby’s story focuses on her career as an idol. The character’s motivation places a larger emphasis on the identity of being an "idol." Although Ai’s image as the "invincible idol" makes it hard to believe that Ruby can surpass her, (it would have been much more convincing if there had been more episodes showing Ruby’s growth in relation to this), there were indeed some foreshadowing and hints. Through the movie, Ruby came to understand Ai and thought, "I won’t end up like Mom," and that will really be the case. She won’t end up with the same fate as her mother.

Nino came dressed very similarly to Ryosuke and acted in a similar way, which means that the feelings these two characters have towards Ai are quite similar. When Nino appeared in the middle, her actions felt so, so it wasn’t surprising, and I had anticipated that this character would attack Ruby. For Nino, approaching an attacking Ruby when she's alone is more realistic and has a higher chance of success than disrupting a performance, so the occurrence of such an event with Nino appearing at this point seems to make sense. It was bound to happen at once point.

The problem with her attack actually succeeding would be that it'd make Kamiki and Aqua’s both appear extremely unaware and naïve (if Aqua can’t prevent this, it’s too sloppy considering he should have already identified Nino’s suspicious behavior, and well, Kamiki seems to be too innocent. I actually don't think it'd be out of character for HIM to be this way lol. This character truly… truly seems incapable of doubting others. He doesn’t understand human malice!!! He probably didn’t suspect Nino, Ryosuke at all. and there was no way he could know Uehara would go berserk, either. This became so apparent while reading this chapter that I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s over thirty. If Ruby is actually stabbed, Kamiki would freak out. How has he been living in the world until now with this, pure mindset? He seems so unchanged from how he was when he was young?). The page itself looks oddly blurred, making it seem like it might not actually have happened. The scene where "Nino tries to stab Ruby" is plausible. Anyhow, Given the direction in which this character has been shown, it’s a scene that could reasonably occur. The important thing is how it'd be handled and resolved later, but I believe the writers have a plan, they just drew things like this for shock value and to parallel what's happened in the earlier chapters.

And Kamiki has had at least three instances where things went bizarrely wrong, leading to people being on the verge of death or actually dying. Including Yura, that makes four times. What is this character? At this point in the story where nothing has been revealed, the characters who seem to hold the most surreal powers seem to be this character and Ruby, who seemed to be "receiving divine help" and thriving at one point. But since Kamiki’s situation appears to be completely uncontrollable, it seems like the god of absurdity and irrationality mentioned in Chapter 144 is targeting and tormenting him. It seems as though this entity is deliberately trying to drive him to despair and corruption. It’s unlikely that Kamiki himself is this god… the aftermath of these events has caused him so much suffering. At this point, he seems like a victim of a divine curse.

Examining the name of this character, it seems like his true identity might be Sarutahiko Okami, the god of light and the husband of the goddess Ame-no-Uzume. They are often depicted as a couple in subcultures, and in the Shin Megami Tensei series, they appear as summonable deities with a description of them being married. I drew a comic about this idea previously, you know? It's this comic right here:

Worried about his wife/lover hopping over to the human world, wanting to be human because she loved humans, Kamiki must have followed her, and they both lost their memories and are now wandering. Kamiki, when falling into a bad situation (which is why he had often been raising the black star since middle school), was brought happiness by Ai, who spent enjoyable times with him and led him to a better state. When he was just about to become truly happy, Ai made the decision to part ways for his sake, and Kamiki fell back into despair. It's truly unfair and absurd how his life keeps getting falling into this tormented state. I say this a lot, but he has a MISERABLE life, and I don't think that's just from pure luck. Something is cursing him from getting happy. Every time it seemed like he might finally be happy, something would erupt and prevent it from happening. I looked up at Sarutahiko, and he's a major deity and also a guardian of the land. He's related to purification rites, called "Misogi".

There was a description of the Sarutahiko Shrine, I found from a travel guide, it says, "Sarutahiko Okami is known to have appeared at the very beginning of all things to guide everything in the most benevolent direction." Kamiki has a hard time blaming others and is inherently kind. He still addresses the person who continuously tormented him, Airi, with honorifics, and even refers to Ryosuke as "Ryosuke-kun." He’s totally a pushover!!! People exploit him, and he thinks it’s all good as long as they are happy.. This psychology is quite plausible, and I pity him because of it, but It doesn’t seem to have changed much until now. His way of speaking and demeanor are still very gentle… When he appears in front of his children, his tone is very soft. By nature, he is extremely kind.

Is there a deity trying to corrupt him to increase their influence over the land?

However, it seems that Ai was able to protect him from crossing the final line.

I’ve written several things related to this, I'll just bring one example of what I've written once:

What kind of deity is the god of entertainment? If it’s the god of entertainment, it must be Ame-no-Uzume, right? It seems that the wishes made at the shrine have been fulfilled, albeit in some strange directions. Could this be Ai? Because in "Fatal", there's a lyric that goes: "selfish giant star ruined lives"… it seems to be connected with Ai, who is the incarnation of the brightest star. Her husband is a god of light, and the name connection with Hikaru is significant.

It also seems like Ai has become a guiding star, watching over everyone. In Chapter 118, the god girl spoke just as she described. That character was simply stating the truth.

Yeah. Something's been trying to corrupt Kamiki for so long now. I feel that is so... but he hasn't.. gone all the way after everything he's been through huh? In that case, maybe he also is strong in his own way.

At the end of this episode, when they talked about stars shining at night, I had this thought. Could it be that Ai, who has now become a star, is protecting her husband and children?

In the added scene from episode 1 of the anime, there’s a moment where Ai is shown smiling while pointing at the stars with her babies (during a flashback she has after having being stabbed).

Tsukuyomi’s statements are all pretty important. This character talks about "love" this time, right? If Ai is indeed a deity associated with love, it makes sense that there should be foreshadowing related to this.

Tsukuyomi, who is a friend of the other gods, might be pondering Ai’s experiences and those who loved Ai. It seems like Tsukuyomi is trying to understand what Ai’s concept of love is (Tsukuyomi was the one explaining Ai’s current state of having returned to the stars and the sea as well- how could she be so sure of it? Well she does deals with souls but I think Tsukuyomi is an acquaintance of Ai). It’s like a divine curiosity—wondering why Ai went through so much suffering by coming down to the human world.

Regarding the emotions listed alongside the characters, let’s talk about Kamiki’s feelings: I mentioned this in another post but I just really like it.

Desire, disappointment, and despair.

I think there are two major emotions related to each aspect:

The desire to be with Ai / The desire to revive Ai.

Disappointment from parting with Ai (it’s disappointment, not resentment. His heart was shattered, but this didn’t lead to aggression) / Disappointment from not being able to meet Ai no matter what.

Despair from Ai’s unexpected death / Despair from the inability to revive Ai.

These seem to align perfectly with the psychology of this character as I see it.

Kamiki has been in constant despair. His black eyes are a characteristic that appears when he is in despair. This changes twice in the story—once when Ruby shows the possibility of surpassing Ai (and he genuinely seemed pleased, as if he was proud of his daughter, right?) and again when he was shocked by what Ai said in the video. After that, his eyes are not shown, so I think he might have regained his composure. He probably returned as a white star.

This post got long and I'm worn out from writing everything here in one go: but I'd like to bring up that the main characters seem to inherit traits from their parents in a balanced way. Ruby also has aspects similar to Kamiki, and Aqua, in terms of motives and behavior, is a complete reflection of Kamiki, but his personality resembles Ai’s a lot. I also think Aqua’s eyes are similar to Ai’s, not Kamiki’s. If you look closely, Kamiki’s face is more slim, so Ruby looks more like him. The comment about Kaburagi finding Aqua’s face beautiful because it resembles Ai’s is accurate. Aqua resembles his mother more than expected. The face shows a blend of features, not just one side. It’s fascinating, and I think the character design is well done.

I’d also like to analyze how splitting Ai’s traits into two could lead to Kana and Akane.

So!! The relationship between Kamiki and Ai and the relationship between Aqua, Akane, and Kana are interlinked. Since I’m too tired to write it all out in one go, and I’ve written something similar before, I’ll skip that part.

The work is incredibly well-constructed. I think this work has a thoughtful design.

The protagonists experience situations very similar to those their parents went through, but they might achieve better outcomes. For instance, the B-Komachi group is much healthier than it was in Ai’s time, right? Things are already better than they were in the past,

Kamiki-Ai ended in tragedy (I hope they will still be happy though)

but Aqua won't end up like his dad.

Ruby won't end up like her mother either.

They're cleverly constructed to parallel each other, but are different, just as what Ruby claims. I actually have high hopes that this series would get a good closure after having seen how they are designed!

So yes, thanks for reading if you did!!/// It's going to be okay! If there's one thing I really admire about this manga, it's the way these characters are coined together and their psychology and relationships. That's the author's strength.. so no matter how this manga ends, I feel like it wouldn't stray too off from what the characters are essentially!

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #hikaai #aqukana #hikaru kamiki #ai hoshino #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #spoilers #the author is really clever with this aspect. I'm impressed!#no matter how this turns out- that part of them's what I really want to learn #long post #oshi no theories

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koji-haru · 23 days ago

Note

What gave you the inspiration to make your AU?

Short answer? I'm delusional lmao.

Honestly, I was just bored during summer and thought, "why not get back to writing again?". I wasn't actually planning on staying long, like maybe write a few chapters and then dip and maybe delete the account once I'm bored. But here I am still, lol.

For the time travel au, I answered this before in another ask, but I just made my own version of @ironbatpaperturtle's time travel au since they deactivated and I really really wanted a continuation of that au. That, and I was just reading a couple of revenge stories, and as much as I love it, I also hated it when the authors usually make the mc not go through their revenge plot - 'revenge is bad' blah blah blah and then they get the bad end of the stick even though they were the initial victim. So, if you noticed with how I wrote the first parts of the time travel au, I made Adam very adamant and determined with his goals (he still is even in the latest chapters, even though he feels less worthy of the garden now). Now, I'm not saying the way I wrote Adam makes him a 'victim', my guy didn't even bother and try to maybe be friends with both Lucifer and Lilith in his second life. He's just a hater, and yes, that's a flaw, I'm not excusing it. I mean, at the start he was just cozying up to Mike to have a backup just in case things go bad. He does soften up in later chapters though.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is that I mainly wanted a story not necessarily heavy on plot, but more so on the mc's development as a person.

For the swap au, well, I just love a good old role reversal story. It's just fun. Also, I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but *kinda spoiler-ish* the swap au is, in a way, like the opposite of the time travel au. In what way? I won't elaborate lol. But it's fun! I love creating 'foils'; either for characters, developments, themes, or even whole stories. So, I guess, in a weird egoistic way, my own time travel au inspired me to write the swap au?

Honestly, I can't really properly answer what inspired me to write my aus. At the simplest reason, I just wanted to convey a theme or a feeling. That's how I usually start writing. Maybe I listen to a song, read a poem, see a nice picture, feel something, etc. Like I could be walking and something random would inspire me and I would just quickly make a note of 'the feeling' in my phone. Like one time I was on the bus and I thought the gloomy sky with the sun behind dark grey clouds looked pretty cool at that moment. It kind of reminded me of a hole in the sky, somewhat like a portal or a signal to the world ending, so I took note of that and now I have another story in the drafts (I don't think I'll ever get to it though, with how busy I am).

Sounds really lame, but I write to make an atmosphere, I guess? I just want to capture that sensation permanently into writing; doesn't matter if it's negative or positive or neither, I want it saved forever. So anything inspires me really, from the most random tunes to the prettiest words, and then I just piece them all together. I don't really have a singular inspiration.

What keeps me writing? I'm just too stubborn to leave things unfinished. There's also the fact that I'm currently obsessed with Adam lol.

On a somewhat related note, 'Birds of a Feather' by Billie Eilish really suits the time travel au.

So... Time travel au -> a soft, blooming change from within Swap au -> more like a crashing, unwanted change Promises au -> lonely people finding comfort with each other (I was probably just feeling lonely when I thought of this au tbh)

I'm not sure I answered your question properly, but, eh I tried. Really, I'm not artsy enough to draw proper, solid inspirations, I'm just a delusional student who's heavy into STEM - so no imagination at all lol.

Did I go off topic? Yes, multiple times. Did I answer your question, anon? Most likely not, sorry.

#ask #of course plenty of fanarts and many other fanfics inspired me to write too

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speakofthedebbie · 5 months ago

Text

ASK GAMES IN SESSION:

fandom asks

moots on anon (debs original; moots go on anon, say a few things about them [usually 3] and i have to guess who they are)

fic writers: directors cut

some things of varying importance (<- my fav colour btw)

came for one. singular. fucking. post by @elsa-fogen, stayed for the hazbin brainrot

names debbie (read about why here), nicknames are any variation that suits you

she/her

after much deliberation (thx for your insight @lifea16 <3) im a femme-leaning biromantic and femme-leaning sex-indifferent demisexual (makes sense to me at least)

in a qpr with @lifea16 >:3

minor (not saying majors [literally why arent 18+ called that] cant interact, but watch yourself)

in regards to above: ♐ (december 14th) [have had 1 bday on tumblr]

no comm beggars/any asks relating to money. i am a minor, i cannot help you

#1 luci lover/defender

started shipping radioapple as a joke but it becomes less of a joke each day (while i am now radioapple inclined, i am still a multishipper at heart)

priestess of @cali-and-chaos' radioapple cult (@manicali has deleted the blog but i will go on carrying out my duties as priestess and spread the word of radioapple far and wide)

almost certainly some flavour of neurodivergent

transphobes dont even look at this blog. me and my trans besties WILL beat you up and it WILL be embarrassing

same goes for terfs, racists, bigots and the like. do not test me

fandoms:

currently:

hazbin hotel (wow who wouldve thunk it)

helluva boss (somewhat)

mouthwashing (i wont curse That One Friend That Gets Me Into Everything for this but rather a mutal friend. havent finished kubz scouts playthrough but liking it so far)

namesake (they get linked cuz the chances of anybody who follows me knowing what it is are slim) [you prolly wont see much content about it {for now >:)} but i do really love it and will be clawing at walls until my pookie warrick shows up again /lh]

previously:

mystreet (may return when s7 comes out)

hermitcraft (im way too behind to catch up now)

percy jackson & the olympians (left off on titans curse)

murder drones (now that its done might come back to)

the promised neverland (i still like it, but i finished the manga)

project SEKAI: COLORFUL STAGE! (feat. hatsune miku) [i had a stint with it but since i could never play the game it died off. still have a high key crush on akito 😍]

heathers: the musical (i debated moving it down here but i dont care for it much anymore lol. like i still like the musical, i still really like the songs, and will probably make it my mission to memorize the entire thing one day but its impact is fading man)

unique tags:

#debs is a yapper (i talk about shit. usually hazbin shit. intersects way too much with-)

#debs is a memer (i make memes. usually hellaverse memes. intersects way too much with #debs is a yapper.)

#debs is an artist (i make art occasionally. so far 100% hazbin art.)

#debs is a writer (i post my hellaverse fics. either wip snippets or links to the ao3 page. previously under #debs is an artist.)

#debs is a responder (i respond to the [semi!]rare ask or two [used to be #debs is an answerer but it sounded too weird lol])

#debs is an original poster (i make original posts. opposite of-)

#debs is a reblogger (i reblog usually hellaverse shit, which for my apprehensiveness about it at first has become [more than] half my blog. opposite of #debs is an original poster.)

#debbie's never ending rivalry with her own fucking brain (i wage psychological warfare against my own brain. no one wins.)

#"for your queueing has just begun~" (i queue posts.)

look at the top 10 posts yourself lol

individual follower shout-out (hasnt been updated in a WHILE mb chat)

oh yeah i got a sideblog lol (high school advice)

also luci-centric sideblog lol im so predictable

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pinchinschlimbah · 1 year ago

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So I came across this interview clipping a while back and it's been drilling holes in my brain ever since. Let's talk about it. Someone who the Boosh guys were friendly with (I censored it because I don't want R****** B****'s ugly face on my page lol) asked in a fairly jokey way "so like....are y'all gay for each other?" and on a public platform, Julian decided to answer with an earnest "yes."

And not only that! The answer is not just "yes", it's "yes and we think about it constantly." It's "yes and we believe that tension is the thing that's central to what makes our dynamic so good." It's "yes and we would explore it further if we felt we could but we're scared it'll make things weird." It's "yes and any time you've seen us exploring it on screen or stage, it is indeed a reflection of our actual feelings towards each other that we're too scared to try out in real life."

The moment I read this I decided that Noelian is canon. To me at least...you may have a different definition. For me, I don't know or care whether they've ever fucked, but this and countless other things they've said and done have shown me without a shadow of a doubt that the feelings and intentions of both love and lust were absolutely there and they acted on them in what ways they felt they could in the context of their lives and careers at that time, and that's real enough for me. On a related note can we talk about the intro to this performance where Julian explains that the song was written "during a blue time" near the start of their career together and Noel interrupts him to say "We'd made love, the chemistry had gone wrong" and then Julian gets somewhat flustered...........hmmmmm 👀

#the mighty boosh #noelian #gay yelling #shouts into void #I’ve royally fucked up my sleep schedule this week so I’m feeling extra insane sorry #3:32am send post

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rainberry-stardust · 12 days ago

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inspired by that post asking the plural community to share their personal experiences, here's a bunch of questions inspired by various system ask games that i'll be answering!

do you have a system name?

technically yes. i use rainberry, the name of a zayn malik song, as a system name online. i also have a personal system name i've been attached to for years, but i won't be sharing it here. i don't go by my system name typically, and i use it more as an online username than anything else.

irl i have 2 names people typically know me by, both the names of frequent fronters. i eventually plan to legally change my name to those 2 names as a first and middle name.

what is your alter headcount?

i have around 8 DID parts, and 4 endogenic alters. so 12-ish in total.

what are your system's origins?

traumagenic first and foremost, as i have DID. i also have some endogenic alters i specifically coined the term reveromantigenic for. my reveromantigenic alters formed unintentionally as thoughtforms, specifically from me daydreaming about fictional ships to fall asleep.

my DID parts are ever-present whether i want them to be or not, and i can somewhat-clearly trace them back to traumas in my past and i can see what trauma responses they are made of. my endogenic alters on the other hand, they're purely positive and don't have any negative or harmful aspects to them. they don't relate to my trauma in any way, and act as sentient comfort characters more than anything.

what terms do you use to describe yourself?

i gravitate towards 'parts' for my DID parts, and 'alters' for my endogenic alters. i do refer to myself as a system sometimes, but typically i call myself a person with DID or a person with parts. i rarely call myself plural, the word icks me for purely syllabic reasons.

i tend to use i/me language as well, unless i feel like clarifying we/us is necessary to make sense.

how did you discover your system?

i was 15 and somebody in a fandom discord i ran asked me to add pluralkit to the server for systems. i didn't know what a system was, so they explained to me what DID is in basic terms. i wanted to support them, so i started looking into DID and systems, and i noticed a lot of links leading to tumblr.

i made a tumblr account so i could read all the posts google was linking me, and discovered i was a system too. i originally thought i was traumaendo i believe, before i got sucked into sysmedicalism and considered myself an OSDD system for i think a year, eventually landing on DID, and now as of recent labelling myself mixed origins due to my thoughtforms.

have your views on plurality changed over time?

yes! as i said, i started off as pro-endo, but i got sucked into sysmedicalism for quite a few years. i had endogenic thoughtform alters while i was anti-endo, ironically enough, i just mislabelled them and tried to force them into traumagenic boxes.

do you have an innerworld?

nope. i have aphantasia, so i don't visualize at all. i have a strong internal monologue and i tend to think in audible words more than anything else. my parts/alters pick faceclaims based on the vague vibes they have of their appearances, and via a lot of trial and error.

how do your levels of distinction range?

my DID parts are covert, as i have the typical covert version of DID. they're distinct enough that i can sometimes tell what part is fronting, and some close friends can occasionally guess accurately, but most of the distinction isn't in personality or outward characteristics.

most of my part distinction, for the traumagenic ones, is in trauma responses, behaviors, and views on the world. those trauma-influenced traits are what show through the strongest.

meanwhile my endogenic alters are mainly distinct in personality, and strongly identifying as their sources. that, and they're all british for some reason except for one. coincidences lol.

what are your fronting patterns like?

my DID parts are situationally triggered out. they're each suited for different types of situations, be it potential traumatization, physical hardship, a work environment, a safe environment, ect. their roles reflect this a lot, too. if i feel threatened, physically or emotionally, i know my primary protector is going to be triggered out. if i feel safe and comfortable, there's a good chance my unethical caretaker is going to front.

my endogenic alters are more intentionally positive triggered out, either by focusing on their sources and unintentionally daydreaming about them (as is my habit to help me fall asleep), or by choosing to act like them until they front (my attempt at willogenesis lol, they may have gained sentience by accident but i intend to purposefully keep them around)

in general i tend to switch multiple times a day, if i had to guess probably 3-6 times a day. my situational needs vary frequently throughout my average day, triggering out various parts for various reasons.

do you experience amnesia? how so?

i do. i'm monoconcious, but i experience what i consider to be blackout amnesia in the sense i lose entire chunks of recent time. my amnesia isn't really tied to switching, though. my parts/alters don't have their own individual memories, like you might see in the movies.

my amnesia is collective; i lose the majority of every single day, conversations and situations, everything unless i write it down or recite it until memorized. i tend to only retain vague outlines of my most recent day, such as "i know i went to work yesterday and i worked on my fanfic, but i cant remember anything specific beyond that."

and that's only for my most recent day. the day before yesterday is a mystery to me. unless it's written down or i'm somehow reminded of a specific notable event by an outside party, i don't retain it.

what are your thoughts on fusion?

i want final fusion, at least for my DID parts. i'm not sure what my end goals are for my endogenic alters, as they don't really cause me distress. i want to final fuse all of my DID parts because i want to stop relying on dissociation as my primary coping mechanism, i want to fully get rid of my dissociative amnesia, and i want to have a cohesive sense of identity that isn't split up by various reactions to trauma.

fusion at all, and especially final fusion, are longterm goals for me though. right now i'm focused on symptom management, building communication, and overall integration in whatever small ways i can manage it.

do you have any in-system couples?

yes, particularly my endogenic parts. because they are all reveromantigenic (formed from daydreaming about my favourite fictional ships), they are all inherently paired into relationships. because i have 4 of them right now, that means i have 2 in-sys couples.

do you have any in-system families?

yes, but this time with my DID parts. 3 of my DID parts see themselves as siblings; my primary protector being the elder brother to 2 parts that identify with being younger ages than i am physically.

my primary protector is also very similar to another part who you've probably seen here, his name is zain, he runs our sideblog @zain-syscourse. my primary protector and zain have been in some sort of strange qpr/situationship for years, i'm not sure if they've even labelled it.

how does your gender vary across the system?

i'm bigender (male/agender) overall, and i use he/they pronouns overall. many of my DID parts identify as fully male and use he/him pronouns or as nonbinary/agender with he/they pronouns, while my endogenic alters have less reality-grounded concepts of their gender such as one identifying as a cis male and another as transfemmasc despite us overall being NOWHERE near feminine- or female-aligned.

how does your sexuality vary across the system?

it honestly doesn't vary much, surprisingly. overall i identify as demiromantic demisexual and gay (boys), and that seems to ring true system-wide. none of us are attracted to girls as far as i can tell. the demi part varies, but all of us are some level of gay.

do you tend to have collective or individual hobbies/interests?

all of my interests and hobbies are collective. that's mainly comprised of writing fanfiction, syscoursing, learning about DID, and listening to music. as far as interests, right now it's just One Direction. i have ADHD, and right now 1D is my sole hyperfixation.

does anybody irl know you're a system?

yes, two people. i live with my found family slash adoptive parents, and they know i have DID. one of them can tell some of my parts apart and has clocked the current fronter multiple times before.

do you know any other systems irl?

the same person who can clock some of my parts is also a DID system. he's very supportive of me and my problems in general, and i love him.

this was really fun to do! i went for mainly collective-aimed questions, since i didn't want to get into specific parts/alters too much. at least not on this post, maybe in the future on others! if you read all this, it's your sign to go find a bunch of plurality questions to answer! share your experiences!

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