#so I just chose one of his geeky moment

[the-words-we-sung]

Day 9: anime

For Simon’s Month 2024 hosted by @youngroyals-events

[silversatin2105]

Hi! How are you? Can I please have (separately) Baji, Chifuyu, and Ryusei with a female idol reader? Like are they super supportive, Learn all the lyrics and fan chants, lots of mercy, etc? Thank you bestie 💜💜

Hi there bestie

yeah I can do i wrote this with different aspects to eatch scenario, I do hope you will enjoy it.

Trigger warnings: Stalking, depression and burn out.

CHIFUYU SCENARIO:

Ever since you showed interest in joining the idol industry, Chifuyu has been nothing but supportive in your pursuit of this endeavor, he took time off from attending Toman meetings to help you work on your voice, he even proof read your application to the company who you chose to apply to, he also waited with baited nerves whilst you waited for your response and when you were accepted he celebrated with you.

Since your debut he would make an effort to attend all your lives, meet ups and CD signings, he understood that due to the terms of your contract with the company that now a relationship with you was off the table but that didn't matter to him, he told himself that he would always be the for you and you would be always be efficient to him and that the love he has would eternity be yours.

BAJi SCENARIO:

You met him at a meet up, he greeted himself politely and quite the gentleman however beneath that geeky facade lay a protective beast and you were about to meet this side of him when after your meet up event you were approached by a stalker fan who had been following you since your groups live in kanto one of those depraved souls who believed they owned you simply because you were nice to them, they accosted you in an empty conference room.

You were so scared when he approached you, his fish dead eyes gawking at you as if you were his next meal, “someone …anyone…please” were your thoughts as you backed against the wall, you didnt need to wait so long for in the blink of an eye your would be assailant was out cold on the floor, as you nerves calmed and your vision came into focus, right there standing infront of you was a guy with unruly hair, wild and untamed, you didnt know it at the time but today would mark a change in your life because the moment you learned the name Keisuke Bajiwas the day you never knew fear again.

RYUSEI SCENARIO:

You had been working in the industry for 5 years now, you were really tired, running on and empty gas tank, your make up hid a burned out soul who had been backed into a corner, your only solace was your online pen pal Cassanova-Snake01 (Ryusei), though you had not heard his voice you felt soothed by the kindness of his words and so one day out of the blue you gifted him a ticket to your next live.

During the live you went though the motions, it being just a job to you at this point, a pay check, after your performance you were outside getting some fresh air as you waited for your pen pal friend, you were soon approached by a blonde and tanned Male with a concerned smile on his face.

‘you look like you need a hug’ were the words that set you off, that finally opened the floodgates of your heart, you began pouring your very soul to him of how the industry really is, the strict rules, the pressure to perform, the having to look perfect all the time and the things that are overlooked, at the end of the of it you were a sobbing mess in his arms.

“ want my opinion…why dont you quit and come live with me while you get back on your feet?” Ryusei suggested, a few months passed and you graduated from the group you were in, you lived with Ryusei and taught piano from yours and his place, you enjoyed in each other's company, two souls free from the ties that bind.

END SCENES

Warning: please dont remove original tags in Re-blogs, dont Re-post Anywheee else or alter the original work

[twistedtummies2]

Headcanon Voices - My Twst OCs

(sighs) So, less than a month after I said I would NOT be doing this...I’m doing this. Go figure. :P People keep asking me what voices I headcanon for my OCs, especially for Twisted Wonderland. I decided, just for a lark, to finally provide a dreamcast of English voices for my major TW OCs. (I probably won’t bother with Japanese voices...at least, not right now.) I decided to go with voice actors who primarily work in video games and anime dubs, and I wanted to make sure they had done recent work that felt like it matched the age range of the characters. With help from various people, and a lot of research, I think I’ve finally figured out the voices. SO...here is the Dreamcast of headcanon voices for my Twisted Wonderland OCs.

Nakoda Spivak = Landon McDonald

Initially, I was going to give this to Daman Mills, but after I reminded myself of McDonald’s voice in “Bungo Stray Dogs,” and then listened to his work in “Demon Slayer” and a couple of other places, I chose him, instead. I don’t know if McDonald can sing, but in terms of his speaking voice, it is EXACTLY how I would imagine Nakoda to sound...provided you just give him those tell-tale hisses. ;) Billy Géant = Stephen Fu

I love Stephen Fu from a few roles, but it was specifically his work as Noe in “The Case Study of Vanitas” that made me choose him here. His voice in that role has a certain mixture of grit and resonant depth that I felt Billy needed, but it’s still light and young, which I also felt was needed. In that specific role, he also shows two different sides: Noe is one half gooberish cinnamon bun who can be insanely cute and sweet, and the other half is...well...a vampire. A very, VERY powerful, strong, and dangerous vampire. He can flip on a dime from downright TERRIFYING to just the cutest little guy in the world. That’s EXACTLY what Billy should be: one moment a big loveable dunderheaded child, the next a rage-fueled disaster machine who can be fiery or icy depending on the situation.

Elias Inque = Brandon Johnson

I only just recently discovered Johnson for his work as the title role in “Skeleton Knight in Another World.” That role alone was all it took to convince me. In the part of Arc, the main character, he proves to be equal parts an over-the-top pseudo-villainous ham, a somewhat goofy and geeky sort, and a fairly down-to-Earth, rational person...AND, surprisingly, a massive glutton who is CONSTANTLY thinking of food. That’s basically Eli in a nutshell. I can even imagine him using his “normal voice” for Arc as Elias, while he transitions into his “bold knight” voice for when Eli becomes the Phantom Blot. Seems fitting.

Reno Rovar = Adam Gold

I really don’t know Adam Gold well at all. However, after @belliesandburps shared with me clips of him from “Cookie Run,” I was convinced. Case closed.

James Killian = Ricco Fajardo

Initially, I was going to cast Kieran Flitton here, even though I’ll confess I don’t know Flitton very well. Things changed when I discovered Fajardo’s work as Achilles in the game “Smite.” I knew Fajardo already from a few places, but it was Achilles in “Smite” that convinced me. Just like with McDonald as Nakoda, the instant I heard his work in that role, all I could think of was, “that’s James. That is EXACTLY how James should sound.” Heck, even some of his dialogue sounds like stuff James would say, in PRECISELY the way James WOULD say it! So that settled things in an instant.

Smitty McCarthy = Joshua Waters

Waters is a bit of an odd one here. This is a case where it’s less one or two specific ROLES that convinced me, and just the actor in general. I was most heavily influenced by his work as Miyano in “Sasaki & Miyano.” The soft, “smol” voice he uses for Miya in that show sounds very much like how I would imagine Smitty often sounding. The energy is different - Miyano’s personality is NOT the same as Smitty’s - but the specific SOUND, the QUALITY of the voice, is just about on the money. Knowing Waters’ other work, I think he’s a fine choice.

Maelstrom Baleno = Kellen Goff

I know Kellen Goff best for playing Sasaki in “Sasaki & Miyano” and Overhaul in “My Hero Academia.” Neither is  the voice I imagine for Maelstrom. XD Much like Joshua Waters as Smitty, this is a case where it’s less about a specific role, and more about the actor. Goff has an INCREDIBLE range, and can do a lot of really cool things with his voice that you wouldn’t guess just hearing his neutral, natural tones. It was a combination of hearing a few roles of his, including his characters in Cookie Run, Volke from Fire Emblem, Glamrock Freddy, and a few others that made me decide he could, very likely, handle Maelstrom. While his natural voice is quite light, he’s shown he can bring depth and danger to a voice with ease, so while he may be unconventional as a choice, he seems possible to me.

Theodore Hamilton = Jalen K. Cassell

Theodore was quite possibly the hardest character to cast. I kept changing the voice right up until the last minute with him. The problem is that Theo is different from my other OCs because he’s based on a female source. Not only that, but it’s a female source with a VERY iconic sort of voice: the Wicked Witch of the West. Whether you go with Mila Kunis or Margaret Hamilton, how does one turn that heckling, cackling, snarling, shrieking voice into the sound of a handsome anime boi? I considered several actors: Brandon McInnis, Chris Guerrero, even a few who ended up with other characters, like Goff and Fu. Jalen K. Cassell won out because he had the right balance of youthfulness and slickness, while also showing the ability to snarl and get vicious and even surprisingly gruff and dusky. And he can cackle with the best of them, as far as his laugh goes; a perfect match for any wicked warlock.

Grit Gravelle = Bryce Papenbrook

This was the easiest voice to choose. Simply put, Grit is a LOT like Shindo from “My Hero Academia.” So it seemed only natural to use Shindo’s voice for his own. Case dismissed. And there you have it, folks! I must admit, I’m slightly unsure about a couple of these voices (specifically Maelstrom and Theo), but the rest seem right on the money and are unlikely to change. Now please, everybody, stop asking. XD

[thebuttsmcgee]

What's wrong with keanu reeves

I'm not sure if there's actual things that are really Wrong with reeves, there's been talks of it but I mean I haven't been able to find much info for both that are recent, so I'll leave that to whoever chooses to discuss it

Why he sucks being shadow tho is cause I mean c'mon that's just so lame. They opted to choose big-name celeb who had a role or two that was somewhat similar, that nearly every geeky ass article site had as number 1 choice for the voice, instead of looking for actual voices that fit beyond the trendy loud fan demand. It's like if knux was voiced by the rock or tails as tom holland, it was fitting if you didn't wanna take it seriously and only make trendy corny memes about.

It's why the Hayden Christensen rumor was upsetting, cause that WOULD have been both a pleasant surprise and great, he has a younger voice that can easily be brooding, it fits into the (unfortunate) studio expectation of a character being voiced by A movie star, and he was barely suggested before the rumor, not like reeves or adam driver or reeves or pedro pascal or reeves or jon bernthal or reeves. And you know why he was so heavily fan casted?

2 solid reasons.

1. John Wick. He uses guns and is angsty. People think that fit shadow.

2. The keanu reeves moment in sonic 1. They thought it'd be funny if he ended up being shadow because callback.

Barely anyone looked at his track record and said "I think his voice reflects that of David Humphrey and Kouji Yusa's soft yet emotional performances or Jason Griffith's gravelly yet loud performances." No, they said what if sonic pointed at shadow and said he sounds like keanu reeves and shadow said what, cue some rough draft meme "animation" that has keanu reeves lines with shadow posed over it.

And look, I get it, an actual video game VA was never gonna happen, cause tails is the sidekick to sonic in the eyes of the execs and thus, isn't as important to their cash flow like knux, eggsy or shadow. But the fact that they just went with the most bland decision, and not even for predictability, but cause the "this one role reminds of this character and that means they r perfect" deal, just greatly, highly, immensely disappoints me. They did not scroll over who could be a great casting choice for Shadow, they just chose who every casual moviegoer wanted and got it.

Anyway, take this

[turbosmissingtooth]

Not one single soul asked but I did do a full breakdown on my photo choices in a group chat with my friends and I still love this edit and that breakdown so much so a copy/paste of that breakdown is below the cut.

Be Not Afraid of Greatness:

I chose this specific face off because Seattle #10, Matty Beniers, a twenty year old rookie, is facing off at center ice with Connor McDavid (Oilers #97), who is often hailed as “The Next One” which is a nod to Wayne Gretzky or “The Great One.” McDavid is believed to be the greatest hockey player since Gretzky who is regarded as the greatest player of all time. And our rookie is taking face offs against him. Be not afraid of greatness.

Some Are Born Great:

I chose this photo for “some are born great” for two reasons:

1. Because it’s mostly obscured, at first glance this could be anyone.

But,

2. If you look closely enough, you can see that this is a shadowed photo of Matty Beniers. At just 20 years old, he was Seattle’s All-Star game representative this year. He leads all rookie players in goals and points, he’s a finalist and favorite for the Calder (a trophy awarded to the most outstanding rookie player every season), and he had just two penalty minutes in over 80 games played, which is so impressive for a ROOKIE. He’s so disciplined and mature beyond his years and he is so good and he isn’t even near his prime. Born great.

Some Achieve Greatness:

I chose this photo for “some achieve greatness” because Philipp Grubauer won the Stanley cup with the Washington Capitals in 2018. He was the first German-born goaltender to start and win in a Stanley Cup playoff game and has the most post season wins of any German-born goalie in NHL history. In his pre-professional career, he won the Memorial Cup with his OHL team. He was also a finalist for the Vezina trophy (given to the best goaltender in the league) in the 2020-2021 season.

And Others Have Greatness Thrust Upon Them:

I chose this photo from the moment time ran out in round one game seven when the Kraken became the only NHL team to ever defeat the reigning Stanley Cup champions in their first playoff appearance. One of my favorite parts of this photo is it captures Geekie helping Yanni Gourde up to his feet after Yanni was so overcome with emotion at the finally buzzer that he fell to his knees on the ice.

I love this team so much it’s stupid.

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” -William Shakespeare

[lokisprettygirl]

Love is Selfless, It's Kind (Loki x Female Reader) (Last part)

Summary : You get married to loki and get the forever you both deserved.

Taglist : @colifower    @rinacreateart    @christineblood    @the-wounded-healer05    @lokiprompts    @geeky-politics-46    @sharklover927    @virtualstrawberrydinosaur    @huntress-artemiss    @rat-p1ss    @snigdha-14    @daddylokisqueen    @notmesimpingforanothabritishlad   @nonsensicalobsessions @chaotics17

When 3 years ago you met Loki in the store you never thought, the god would end up falling for you the way you fell for him. You never expected him to come back and see you again, you never expected him to choose you for him.

Now that you looked at yourself in the wedding dress, your heart started to beat so fast. You have been through hell and back with him, you gave up on your mortality for him. You were going to become his wife today. 

"Are you okay?" Wanda asked you as you stood there motionless staring at your reflection.

"Yes I..was just thinking about the past few years, it has been crazy" you took a deep breath and she smiled. Wanda was your maid of honor, while Jane, Natasha, and Pepper became your bridesmaid. 

Thor chose to be the officiant, so Loki had Clint as his best man, while Tony, Steve, Bucky, Vision and Bruce became his groomsmen. 

While walking towards the aisle with Frigga by your side, as soon as your eyes met Loki, you saw him tearing up, that precious baby, you didn't expect anything less. The dress was green as opposed to traditional white, snitched from the waist and had a flowy cindreellaesque bottom. He always called you his princess and you truly looked like one today.

Loki's tux was one of your favorite colors. So you were not the only one surprised it seemed. He put out his hand for you to hold when you reached him, he was desperate to kiss you and he was desperate to be your husband. You didn't have a priest as your minister, thor wanted to be one for you two so he got his certification a few days prior to the wedding. 

"We are gathered here today to celebrate this union of marriage. Two people who I thought deserved the most love somehow ended up in each other's paths. One could only imagine how beautiful their love has been, but most of us who are present here we have seen these two going through worlds of trouble and still finding their way back to each other" 

You smiled and his teary eyes made you want to crush him into a hug. They always did, from the moment you set your eyes on him..

"Now our bride and groom will say their vows, my brother worked on it for days so please be kind to him"

Everyone chuckled and Loki shook his head. He didn't write his vows , he had it memorized.

"When I met y/n 3 years ago, my beautiful perfect princess" he smiled as he looked at you, your eyes already started to tear up 

"I was with someone around that time, my friends always ask me if I ever regret being with her and my answer is always the same, I don't. Even after everything she put us through, I don't regret meeting her because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be standing here, with the love of my life, my sweet girl, my everything. Love with a wrong person can hurt so bad, but with someone like her? Love is all you need to heal, to move on, to grow. The day I saw y/n for the first time, she offered to help me. From the moment she set her eyes upon me, she just wanted to help me. Now I know in her mind..she's like "but I was doing my job" 

You heard a round of laughs echoing through the venue but you only focused on his words, you knew you'd cry today and you'd cry alot.

"But my darling love, you helped me in more ways than one. While you prepared that audacious gift basket for me, I saw a woman who seemed so kind, so gentle, for a second my mind wandered and I thought of how it must be like to be around someone so precious. When I came back to you, you comforted me, accepted me and loved me the way I always craved to be loved. You have always been there by my side even when I didn't deserve it, through thick and thin, for better or worse, you have loved me more and more with every passing day. So today, on this beautiful morning, I vow to be there for you, I promise to love you every second of my life. No matter what troubles we get into, as long as we are together I'll overcome them all. I vow to protect your honor, respect your wishes and I promise to be the best husband there ever could be, my sweet princess, my soon to be wifey. I love you more than love itself. Never forget." 

When he finished, everyone clapped, his eyes were full of tears and you couldn't help but sniffle as tears dripped down your cheeks. Wanda passed you a napkin, Thor gave you a comforting smile.

"I uhh just need a second" you giggled and loki furrowed his brows, he wanted to hold you and comfort you, even though these were the tears of joy, he just wanted to hold you forever now. When you finally got ready, it was your turn to say those vows. You didn't have much to say, he knew it all.

"Love is Selfless, It's kind. Love is patient, It's sacrifice. In the last few years, I have truly learned the meaning of those words. When I saw this precious man wandering mindlessly in the confectionery aisle, my feet walked towards him, I was pulled towards him by this invisible connection, not to forget he looked drop dead gorgeous that night" 

Everyone chuckled and you saw him blushing. You could still make him blush even after all this time.

"Then I realized why he was there and I had never felt so gutted in my life which is saying Something, I felt envious, jealous, wondered what it must be like to love a man like him and to be loved by him, I never thought I would see him again but I did. Again and again, and I fell for him more and more everyday. My sweet baby lo, you have loved me at my best and you have loved me at my worst, selflessly. You have been kind to me when I needed it the most, you have been patient when i was being difficult and you have sacrificed a lot just to protect me. So today I promise you that no matter what happens in the future I'll be here, I'll be your rock, your support, your light in the darkness if I have to. I'll never let go, and I'll never let you go either..I love you more than love itself. Always remember"

He wiped his tears quickly as you finished then you both exchanged rings, you didn't even hear when thor announced you as the husband and wife. You only felt his lips on yours and you knew that was it. You were his wife now and he was your husband. You finally had everything you had ever dreamt of. 

During the post wedding party, you danced with him, your first couple dance as husband and wife. 

"You feel okay my Princess?" He asked you while you moved around with him slowly.

"Never been better hubby" oh he loves hearing that. He never thought he'd ever find someone as loving as you to be his in every sense of the word. Everything felt like a beautiful dream today. 

You looked around and you saw how happy everyone else looked for you two. Clint, Thor, Jane and Wanda gave their speech. Some made you cry, some made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

 The wedding night was a blur to you, you spent hours tangled around him, just the thought of officially, legally being his wife turned you on more than anything. He wasn't any better, he just wanted to ravish you again and again until he couldn't even move a muscle, he wanted to savor you all night and rest of the nights after that. And he did. He lived his best life with you.

100 years later

"Lo…baby did you set up the table? Please tell me you set up the table" you looked at your husband, he was buttoning up his shirt so he turned his head to look at you. A smile curved on his lips so he walked towards you and kissed you.

"I did set up the table, you stop stressing now okay princess?" 

"I'm sorry I just..parties stress me out you know that" you chuckled and he placed his head down and sucked on your neck.

A Lot has happened in the past 100 years, a lot has changed. Everyone you knew was gone, but not really, their children were part of your lives and you loved being connected to them. You didn't have to lose your best friend though, apparently she's a witch. It's a long story but Wanda was still here, looking the same as she used to, vision was a robot but in several years he has evolved to the point where you couldn't recognise him as one anymore. He was as human as any of you. Jane and Thor had a kid too, they named him Noah. Frigga was doing well too, she actually moved to midgard and was enjoying a chill life as she liked to call it.

All of them were coming to the party you and Loki organized for Christmas. Just something you both loved doing once a year. You both never lived in one place, sometimes you lived in New York, then Asgard, but when you both needed an escape he'd take you to that cottage he took you after he regained his memories. You became a known psychologist too after earning your degree all those years ago. Life was good. Normal. You had your normal marriage problems but you both never went to sleep without each other or without solving those problems.

Few days you both decided to do it finally. Have a baby. You both were ready. 

"You smell so different" he cupped your cheeks and pulled you closer to kiss your forehead. 

"Yeahh? You know what that means?" You smirked and he thought about it for a second, then his eyes teared up and he took two steps back as he realized that you two were having a baby. Your eyes teared up too so you walked closer to him and hugged him tightly. 

"We love you more than love itself, you know that right..my baby daddy?" You whispered softly and he kissed you instantly. He was going to be a father and he had you as his wife, the mother of his children. Nothing could have been more perfect than this.

"Thank you for this beautiful beautiful life you have given me and will continue to do so, I'm so happy..I can't..I can't even describe how I feel about you. I'm sure after all these years, words won't be enough.. but I just need you to know that I love you so much princess..thank you. Thank you for this beautiful life..thank you for our forever together" 

You kissed him gently as he finished his words, you knew things would change for better when the babies would arrive, and you knew that your world would never not be beautiful as long as you had him by your side.

And you did have him by your side. You had him Forever.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Note : I'm crying honestly, it might not be the best finale you would have wanted or expected but it definitely was hard for me to write. I love soft baby lo more than anything.. and it felt like I was losing him (even though it's stupid to feel so) but yes if you ever want a one shot or anything about him and his princess, send me an ask.

[lollytea]

Honestly, regardless of whether one likes the hair or not, I love the idea that this is something Hunter actively chose for himself. Especially seeing as Caleb also had the hair-thingie. I dunno. Really happy to see him making his own choices? (Also no gloves???)

I know I clowned on it but that was just for fun cuz like. I was not expecting it. But I actually think it's really cute. I HOPE we get to see the moment he changes it. Whether it's a big moment (like Amity) or more subtle but still significant (like Willow) I really want to see the thought process in his expression, I want to see the moment he decides "I want to look like me."

His whole look is cute honestly. I think it's very funny that everyone was all flannel/hoodie Hunter for s3 and here he is just wearing a practical nerdy little jumper. Embracing his geeky self, outfit, haircut and all.

AND THE HANDS!! SO pumped about the hands!! I know I've been saying it forever and you guys are sick of hearing it but I headcanoned SO HARD that Hunter constantly wearing gloves wasn't for any big profound reason other than symbolism. The mask is gone, the armor is gone, and now after several months the gloves, his final emotional barrier, are gone. He's chopped off Caleb's hair, he's dressing in a way that he likes and he's offering his bare heart in his bare hands.

[leopardom]

Random questions that came to my mind: What has been your favourite moment(s) from the american vlogs so far? Is there a gifset you made in particular that you like the most? Which pairing (friendshipwise or different) do you like the most? Anything you wish would be asked in an interview because you really want to know about it?

And I guess if I ask for any gifs of Alex Mattson I will be beheaded, so I will go now.

okay this is gonna be long so brace yourself 👀

• What has been your favourite moment(s) from the american vlogs so far?

this one:

okay jokes aside my favourite moments in every vlog are the tourbus mayhem ones and that’s basically why i keep making gif sets about that 😂 then you can guess that another favourite is this:

and this:

and of course the moment in the latest vlog where Joonas said they’re gonna do the LA gig for Aleksi since he was sick and he couldn’t be there 😭

• Is there a gifset you made in particular that you like the most?

i have a couple in mind like the whole BC through the years + music videos series but if i had to pick one i’d probably chose this one because Niko is so damn beautiful in the Bad Idea mv

• Which pairing (friendshipwise or different) do you like the most?

maybe i’m a bit biased because those two are my favourite ones but it’s Joonas/Olli. both friendshipwise and different 😏 idk ever since i watched the third episode of the Life On The Dark Side vlogs (yes, the 🍆 one), the way Joonas talked about Olli being his childhood friend and “truly his bro” got stuck in my head. and every time i see them next to each other in photos or watch their on and off stage shenanigans i just go full uwu because i remember those two sentences from the vlog and their friendship makes my heart so soft 🥺 (now since i’m reading fanfics too, i really like how writers approach this pairing, no matter the context of the stories ☺️)

• Anything you wish would be asked in an interview because you really want to know about it?

this will sound very geeky but i want them to be interviewed about their gear or answer questions that have to do with the recording process of a song (like what software they use, which plugins etc). this is totally self indulgent because i wanna delve more into music technology if i have a chance to apply for a master's in music technology, trust me i'll take it and i enjoyed the music technology courses i took in university so it would be interesting. also i'd be so in if for their 10-year anniversary they did vlogs about their whole career, from the early days til now and those vlogs would include answers to questions asked from fans or just their own comments like in their track-by-track videos. i know the last part has nothing to do with anything i wish they would be asked about in an interview, but it's kiiiinda related i guess??

as for Alex Mattson gifs, i may or may not have had in mind to make some at some point 👀 now you’re giving me a reason to finally do it lmao but it will take some time. so for now, here’s a gif of Alex Mattson in all his fuckboy glory

thanks for coming to my Ted-talk 🙏

[madegeeky]

So, I've been thinking a lot about Squid Game and whether or not I'd recommend it to people. And the answer I've come to is: no, I would not recommend it because of the ending.

Mr. Geeky says that I put a lot of emphasis on the ending and that I sometimes put it on a pedestal. And I did think about it and whether that was true or not. But I have other things I still love that have really dumb endings like The Autopsy of Jane Doe, which has an aboslutely brilliant and subtle horror for the first 3/4 and then just fails completely at the end. What I realized thinking about this though, is that whether or not an ending ruins a piece of media for me is entirely contigent on if the ending undermines everything that came before it.

And, for me, the ending of Squid Games absolutey undermines what I see as a main thesis for the entire show. And it's fucking frustrating because everything before that is legimately so good.

SO MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE END BELOW THE CUT READ MORE AND JUST A WALL OF TEXT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

This entire show, the entire premise of it, is about the connections that human make with one another. About reaching out to other people had having them reach back. Connecting with people you know will know will die later. Connecting with people who you know are going to die soon. Connecting with people who don't want a connection. Connecting with people who desperately do.

Gi-hun, our main character, spends the first episode of the show abusing his connections. He steals his mother's money. He uses the fact that he wants to buy a gift for his daughter as an excuse to go and bet on horse racing with that money. Later his uses his connection with his daughter's mother to try to get money (granted, it's to pay for his mother's medical bills but still). The connections are there and they do mean something to him but largely in the way that they affect him.

And then he goes to the Game to try to win some money and everything changes. He finds an old friend and reconnects with him. He connects with an old man who has a brain tumor. He almost dies in the first game except another contestant saves him, creating a connection that they will have until the other's death. Later on he attempts to connect with a young female contestant, is rebuffed, but doesn't stop reaching out until she lets a tenuous connection form, and he keeps that connection until she dies. Gi-hun makes those connections despite everyone dying around him, despite the fact that these connections are only going to bring him pain in the end, because he is a human being and it is literally in our genes to want to be with each other. It's just that, for the first time, he's not being selfish.

He has two foils throughout the game, his friend and a gangster. Both the friend and the gangster make connections but they're only for show. The gangster is honest in the fact that the connections are only surface level, that as soon as someone is no longer useful he will cut them out. But the friend is more insidious. He closes himself off emotionally but doesn't really let people know. Then, when push comes to shove, he's more than willing to backstab them. He is cold and thoughtful in destroying the people around him and I have very rarely hated people as much as I hated him. (Especially the marble episode, fuck him so hard.)

But probably the most important connection that Gi-hun makes is the one with an old man he first meets, a man who is dying from a brain tumor. The man is old and sick and Gi-hun will not leave him behind. He consitently puts himself in danger, at risk of dying, because he refuses to let the man die. His does this over and over again. Until the marble episode. Where either he dies or the old man does. This is only after they have affirmed that they will look out for each other, that they will be gganbu, friends who are close enough to lend marbles when needed; before they are old that only people who have all the marbles in the pair will live. It is viscerally horribly painful for him, to be up against this man that he has worked so hard to keep alive and who he cares for so deeply. (Huge, huge props to the actor, he does an amazing job.) And, in the end, he does end up lying to the old man to win but it is only after the old man starts to lose himself, after the brain tumor shows that it is beginning to very much destroy him, that he finally gives in. It is selfish, yes, but it's hard to blame him when he has a mother and a daughter to go back and take care of him and the old man is moving quickly toward death. It's hard to do anything but have your heart break for him as you watch him slowly die a bit as he makes choice after choice that will end this old man's life. It is an amazing, affecting episode.

He makes and reaffirms the connections he makes until the very end of the game. And when I say end, I mean end. It's down to him and his old friend and he ends up incapaciting his friend in a way that means he will win. All he has to do is go and touch a circle and then his friend will be shot and he will get oodles of money. However, there are very few rules to the Game in total but one of those rules is that, at any point, a contestent may call for an end to the games and if the majority agree, then everyone left can walk away but no one gets the money. Gi-hun stops, right at the finish line, and calls for an end to the game, tells his friend to agree and then they can both walk out. His friend refuses to, begs Gi-hun to look after his mother, and then shoots himself.

Gi-hun makes it out. He wins. But when he gets back he finds his mother dead and his daughter in America. He has no connections, he is broken, and the tenuous connections he does have left he ignores. He refuses to even touch the money and instead lets himself drift through life. Until he gets a note asking "my gganbu" to come to an empty floor on a tall building where he finds the old man, lying in a hospital bed, dying, but at the moment very much alive.

It turns out that the old man is one of the ones who actually started the Game. That he started it because he had so much money that there was nothing that made him happy or entertained him anymore. And he'd even gotten bored with watching the Game which is why he decided to join it. But the fascinating thing, the meaningful thing, is that at the end of his life, when he could be doing anything his last moments alive, what he does is reach for the connection he made with Gi-hun. He finds nothing meaningful in life, so he claims, but here he is, talking with Gi-hun, spending his last moments with him.

But one connection does not make a kind or caring person. He points out that humans are selfish and horrible and points to a person passed out on the sidewalk as it starts to snow, getting colder and colder, and makes a bet with Gi-hun that no one will help them. They will all just walk past. And here is where it utterfly fails at this huge important theme, here is where the series become unsalvageable for me.

Because Gi-hun just sits there. He just sits there, also betting on this person's life, hoping that a connection between a stranger and this person passed out on the sidewalk will happen and the person will be saved. He just accepts the bet. But the thing is, there's nothing stopping him from being the one to save this person. There's nothing stopping him from running out there or calling an ambulance or the police. There's nothing stopping him and yet he doesn't go.

Gi-hun, the man who made connection after connection with strangers despite the fact that all he was doing was hurting himself, the man who learned that connections are so important, the man who broke himself inside when he thought he killed the old man. This man, the man who chose at the very end his connection with others over a huge cash prize, this man just sits there and hopes that someone will come along and save this person in the cold so that he can win a bet.

And the rest of the last episode continues in this vein of him not making any connections at all. He keeps his promise to the young woman and goes and gets her brother out of the orphanage. He takes the kid to his old friends' mom and gives her cash so she can take care of herself and the boy. We see him getting ready to board a plane to go see his daughter but then choosing not to go because his need to stop the Game is more important than his connection with his daughter. The connections he has don't matter in the end, only stopping the Game.

Everything that this show has done with connections, every beautiful moment in all the meaningful connections that were made throughout this series, turn out to be ultimately pointless. And I don't think that this has reached the point of me being actually angry at the show for this ending, as I have at a couple other things, but it's close. It's very close. Because despite the blood and the horror and pain and the cruelty that is in the series, it's a beautiful series until the end. It's meaningful and poetic. But the ending kills that. The ending says that connections aren't actually important and it's not about learning how important it is to connect to other human beings, how we are all connected in some way or another. The ending says that all that matters is harnessing your anger to destroy the people who are doing horrible things. And at its core that's not a bad idea. But it ignores everying that comes before hand. Having angery being the inciting feeling for change feels antithetical to everything that the series did beforehand and it makes it feel all meaningless.

So, yeah, I can't recommend Squid Game. And it makes me legimately sad that I can't.

[dangermousie]

Watched 'Till The Blood Clear' which is an ep I love. It makes me giggle and sigh and everything. I hate Furlow. Stupid, selfish, greedy horror. I will not remember Infinite Possibilities. I will not. I will not. So much to love about this ep: Zhaan's photogasms (She basically spent this whole ep in bliss, good for her!), the design for sand planet, the continuity continuing to be amazing. But, hey, this being me, I want to talk about John and Aeryn. Do you know what I noticed this time? The brief, arrested look on Aeryn’s face when she finds out that John may, in fact, be able to go home. She has slowly come to rely on him, and he is her constant in the Universe that has shifted almost as crazily for her as it has for John. (Rygel, Zhaan and D’Argo are much less lost than those two, aren’t they?) And I love that John is so drawn-in by that wormhole, that he almost acts reckless for a moment and only Aeryn’s repeated and almost panicked comments about the wormhole not being stable, keep him from going in, even though he has no idea where it will come out. No, he isn’t at the chop-Pilot’s-arm-for-a-map stage, but it’s a theme of the show, isn’t it, how the desire for ‘home’ (which comes to mean so much more than the physical space: it comes to mean belonging, the one thing or person most desired) throws everything awry.   But yes. John and Wormholes. Throughout the show, this will grow to be a relationship as crucial as that of John and Aeryn, or John and Scorpius. Love and comfort and sanity for the former and hate and fear and darkness for the latter, but wormholes? Will both save and curse John all over again, but really are also a reflection of John-the-scientist, John-the-obsessive. Here, he is pure excitement and giddiness only. And  yet the seeds of obsession are there. The Ancients picked him - and I can see why they chose him. But to get back to Aeryn. As in so many early eps, Aeryn’s isolation, her inability to go back and her ambivalence towards it (she finally gives that ambivalence conclusively in AHM in her confrontation with Crais) are rather heartbreaking. If Farscape is about breaking John and putting the pieces back together again, one can say that the same applies to Aeryn, in a different way. She doesn’t want John to go, and she’s realized that, and I don’t think this knowledge is welcome to her. She is Peace Keeper, she does not like relying on another: this ep demonstrates it when she goes temporarily blind from solar flares and shakes off John’s help, snapping at him. She is afraid of helplessness because as DNAMS demonstrated, her upbringing left her with the belief that her tuned and well-functioning efficient body is the most valuable thing about her and she is slowly learning about soul and spirit and intellect and heart being even more important traits of her, but a part of her will always maintain the Peace Keeper worship of body-as-self-sufficient-machine. It actually shows how far she’s come and how much she loves Crichton, that her reaction to his slowly going insane in S2, does not involve in any way diminishing of her love. Or her pity. John and Aeryn never pity each other, do they? Not even when they see each other at their worst or weakest? I think that is one of the most crucial things about them as a couple. I think why a lot of the thrust of wounds for Crichton are psychic wounds and for Aeryn physical (though of course they get plenty of vice versa) is because if Aeryn has been taught to prize her obedient body, her strength, her instinct, for Crichton, lost in a strange crazy world, himself, his sense of self, his way of thinking are not just his strength, but all he’s got. So those respective hurts lash out the most at their sense of self. And this is a heck of a digression. OK. Right. Back to the ep. I love that John casually mentions to Aeryn that his offer (of going back to Earth) is still open. But for Aeryn, Earth isn’t home. Peace Keepers are still home. And that is why her reaction to Crais’ beacon is like John’s reaction to that wormhole. You know it’s a bad idea, you know it’s unstable, you know no good can come of it, but you cannot help but be tempted nonetheless. She wants to believe because somewhere she still feels a bit like a Peace Keeper inside. Notice her unconsciously standing ‘at rest’ in front of the beacon. It’s hard to give up the previous idea of home, for both John and Aeryn, hard and takes time. I do love how Crais tells Aeryn that he will restore her blah blah ‘my word as a Peacekeeper,’ and John interjects bitterly: “well, we know what it’s worth.” I love that ref to ‘That Old Black Magic.’ Oh John. I really love the interaction with Volcarians. John’s impersonation of the tough-as-nails alpha male is hilarious. The funny thing is, yet again, John wins through his brain. But while he is a lot tougher than John of Premiere or I, E.T. or what not, this is still a huge put-on act. S4 John wouldn’t even think of this sort of thing. He’d just walk in and own the place, really. But yeah, his telling Aeryn to keep her ‘damn mouth shut’ and her look at him are just...it’s funny because it’s so the opposite of their actual dynamic. I love that we know so utterly that John doesn't believe in any of this one bit, himself, and it's completely an act, that is so amusing precisely because it's so the opposite of who John is, someone who loves Aeryn for her strength. And when he tells the Volcarians that Aeryn is “one of” his mates? Ahahahaha In your dreams, you poor geeky darling. And I love John’s telling the Volcarians that his and Aeryn’s names are “Butch and Sundance.’ Heeeee. I love John’s off-kilter sense of humor. It will stick around even through the worst. And then of course D’Argo gets caught and Volcarians make John torture him and John turns it into that ‘clearing D’s blood so he’d live’ thing but the thing is: he has to hurt him. And I love that he doesn’t want to, he tries to get out of it, but he ends up doing it. And he says some very nasty things to D’Argo and they are mainly play-acting for purposes of Volcarians (and you can tell that John is horrified he has to say that stuff) but also there is a real frustration at D’Argo, all the real resentments and issues in that relationship, that inflect that incident. And I love that he says it’s a waste (the torture). And it’s true. He is stuck doing something senseless to pacify morons. Because they are dangerous morons. The senselessness of the Universe manifests again and it’s just the start. I do love his conversation with D’Argo, full of frustration, and caution, but also a new beginning, of agreeing to be allies (even if not friends because at that point it’s ‘too much to ask.’) I think it does reflect that D now sees John as more of an equal. Oh, and we end with Furlow. Whom I hate. You know, later John would just hit her and take the data and the ship with him. But this one? Not yet. 

[grazieschillivera]

You sort the boys into their hogwarts houses which leads to you arguing about your latest problems with one another...

Author note: maybe a bit self- involved

Word count: ca. 2000 words

,,No.You can't be serious even that one?Thats the silliest theory from all.'' you said when you entered with the boys your hideout.On your way back from a mission you and Hughie realised that the both of you had a lot in common especially considering geeky subjects.

You both were the only ones , who could have a happy conversation after this day.Butcher was furious due to some complications and Frenchie was dissapointed at him for not taking his advices.Hughie was a bit unsure owing to their fight, while you tried to stay positive, unlike Kimiko and M&M, who were just tired.

Later that afternoon, when everyone of the group sat together and ate you came back to your topic, due to the boring stuff on the TV and the remaining bitter mood.

,,What about Harry Potter?'' you asked Hughie breaking the silence.

,,Nah not the biggest fan.'', said Hughie still occupied with his food, that you looked at sometimes.

,,Not the biggest fan?Thats one of the most iconic book series since the last years.The spells, the love stories, all the background information, the castle, the house sorting!You don't know your house  yet!Thats almost like not knowing your purpose in life.'' you said.

,,Jesus, Y/N calm down.'' said Billy, when you didn't take a breath while enumerating your reasons.

,,I have to defend Y/N.The books are actually good.Whats your favourite one mon amie?'' Frenchie asked you, earning a lowkey challenging look from Billy.

,,Uhm to be honest.I only had read the first one and than only some parts from the rest of the books.'' you said embarassed, earing laughter from all sides.

,,But see thats also a point, that speaks for the books.The house sorting is truly effective.I bet Frenchie is a Ravenclaw he just read the whole series, while I know you can only read a certain amount of book and due to that have to chose wisely.''

,,Or you just start to read.'' said Frenchie with a grin leaning back in the couch.

,,See again, thats typical of a Ravenclaw'' you said pointing at him, already convinced.

,,What kind of fucking bird?'' asked Billy now giving up on enjoying his food in peace.

,,Its a made up name for one of the four houses.The sorting head, brings not only into account what your main trait are, also what you want to be.'' you said.

,,And Frenchies main trait is stubborness?'' asked Billy.

,,Come on Butcher, that one time after always listening to what you thought was right.'' Frenchie said still frustrated about the mission.

,,No Frenchie's main traits are wisdom and creativity according to his house.'' you said to prevent the situation from escalating.Fully of pride Frenchie smiled, like he wanted to thank you for those words.

,,Is that so?Can you also tell what I'm good in love?'' Billy asked you, with is typical grin.After some seconds with you being lost in his gaze you focused again and turned away.,,Besides everything I planed worked out just fine.'' he added to Frenchie.

,,Thats because Hughie and Y/N always prevent you from getting killed, while I'm doing the rest.'' Frenchie said.

,,Alright you know what? We won't argue tonight, I can't always hear the same stuff again and again.We will end this tonight.With the power of magic.'' you said with your brilliant idea in your mind, that just came in.

With still hot cheeks you sat down next to Frenchie on the couch and started to discuss who belonged in which hogwarts house.You kept your discussion as quiet as possible , while the others gave you and among themselves strange glances.Only after some minutes and no disagreement you came to your results, that Frenchie revealed whenever you held your hand above the head of each person, everyone besides M&M who went to sleep immediatly after you all got back.

Billy belonged to Slytherin, Hughie to Hufflepuff and Kimiko to Gryffindor.

,,And what do I get when I know that I'm a stupid snake?'' Butcher asked when Frenchie was done with giving quick information about the house colours, traits and animals, immediatly irritated with the Syltherin.

,,A Gryffindor does what is brave, a Ravenclaw what is wise, a Hufflepuff what is good and a Slytherin what is necessary.In other words you're very ambitious and cunning.'' you said, earning an approving eye roll from Billy as response.

,,At least someone.''

,,Wait aren't Hufflepuffs just those extras?'' asked Hughie earning a dissapointed gasp from you.

,,No we're not!We are the most adaptable ones!Just because no one expects much of from us doesn't mean we can't compete with the rest.'' you said.,,Quite the opposite.''

,,Oh Poufsouffle of course!'' said Frenchie to you and you made an exxagarated bow.

,,But Hughie has a point there.Hufflepuff might be the kindest ones but tend to be a bit useless.''

,,What about Cedric Diggory?He could beat Harry Potter, before Voldemort could achieve that, almost won the Triwizard tournament due to his pure talent.While a Gryffindor and a Slytherin try to kill each other, there is a Hufflepuff with almost the same power to get involved... before he gets killed.There is really no point in making us look misserable.'' you said with sad addition.

,,Hush!'' said Frenchie and held his hands on Kimikos ears.,,No spoilers.We will read the books mon coeur'' Frenchie said, the last part to Kimiko, who clearly had struggles to follow that conversation.,,Besides that only happened in a Quidditch Battle – you would know that better, if you had read the books.Thats speaks again for a Hufflepuff.''

,,But we are very good finders.'' you said to help Hughie accept his house with a bit more pride and ignored Frenchies pridness.

,,Finders huh?Then please tell me why the fuck you couldn't seem to find the compound V today, when the rest of us was a bit occupied with other stuff.'' Billy said.

,,Easy there Butcher.Y/N was clearly busy with saving your ass, once you had decided to change the plan.'' said Frenchie.

,,But again that wouldn't had to happen when you could cooperate with one another.Hugie and I can't always have an eye on you just in case you decide to mess up again.Oh and also, Hughie, we don't need to kill someone to make our stand.Thats something I find very good.'' you said to Billy.

,,Wait love.If you wanna say something to your defense about today then tell it to me in my face not via some fucking witch stuff.'' said Billy, who could find the reference in your words, that only got admired with an eyeroll.

,,I don't know, is there something I need to defened myself against?Again?'' you asked arms crossed but still with patience in your behavior.

,,Stands your Hufflepuff also for passive aggressiveness or for no ambiton?That would explain why you can't fucking arm.And I say it again Frenchie can't take advices'' said Butcher.

,,Same goes for you Butcher.You're way too stubborn to take my advices.If you had listened to me we could have the compound V.'' said Frenchie earning your agreement.

,,Stubborn?I just do what is necessary.'' said Butcher giving your a creepy smile, when he made his reference.

,,No one said that the necessary is always the best'' you defended yourself and formed a sorry with your lips.

,,Good!Because Frenchie does a poor job of doing what is wise, when he always runs after Kimiko, whenever she does the fuck she wants.'' said Billy that lead to Frenchie defending her.

,,It's also good that I don't always follow you, because even your plans aren't always the best Butcher.'' you said between their fighting.

,,Oh you even called me 'Butcher' you must be really mad at me now.'' said Billy with an angled head and mocking grin, making you already quiet again.You hated it to become angry.

,,I can't take this Bullshit.'' said Hughie standing up and leaving the hideout.

,,No Hughie come back we need to do this.'' you said but with no success.

,,Thats so odd, you being so commanding and present.You know what Y/N if the fridge wouldn't be empty every three days, I wouldn't even notice you in our group now and then.'' said Billy.

You gasped at his harsh words.

,,Don't you dare say that.Recently I dont eat at all.And thats all because of you and all the pressure you give us, I'm sometimes so angry at myself for not doing better, that I simply will stop eating.'' you said without acutually wanting to admit it.

,,So you lied to me!All the times I asked you whether you have already eaten , you lied to me!No wonder you're so tired and unfocused.'' said Billy angrily at you.

,,Alright let us calm down.'' said Frenchie.

,,No Frenchie.Y/N needs to do that.She always stays quiet.God knows what she all wanted to say.Let it all out love.'' said Billy to you looking at you with encouragment.

,,I mean it boys, we have to make a compromise about how we wanna approach our plan, always fighting fire with fire can't work out!Frenchie is sometimes way to proud to follow Billy ,when necessary and Billy does a terrible job at listening to the rest of us.And I suck at preventing those situations when they begin when I deicide to not become loud with you.And Kimiko could at least try to cooperate a bit more with us – but she is at least making good progress.'' you said and wanted to strenghten your point with another Harry Potter example but Billy stoped you right there.

,,Y/N is right we're just ignoring this situation.'' said Frenchie.,,Maybe we could have just stayed out of it.''

,,Well we might have started this situation, we can't go back now.'' said Butcher, offering you his asian food.First you hesitated but he insisted on you eating something.

,,Good.If you do that again I might buy you some of the candy you like.'' said he with the slightliest mocking tone but still seemed relieved.

,,Shut up Billy.'' you said ,even though the idea made you smile.

Nevertheless the emotional outburst and the words off you seemed to have an effect on the group.After some moments of silence Kimiko started to apologize for her running out of line, followed by Frenchie apolizing for his pride at the wrong times, after he had translated for her.Thats when you promised to not suppress your thoughts anymore and kick their asses when they would start to mess up again theirs missions.Everyone looked at Billy with a waiting glance until he said he would start from now on to listen more to your thoughts and plans.

The mood lifted immediatly after all of you had talked about your struggles and promises.After that you walked outside to bring Hughie back inside, telling him what had happened.Billy had followed you and looked after Hughie until he disappeard again, while stoping you from following him.

,,You're cute when you get angry.Maybe I should have done that a bit earlier our plan seemed to work out quite good.'' said Billy satisfied.

,,Our?It was me who started with the house sorting to- you little piece of-'' you said but always stoping yourself too occupied with processing the information.,,shit'' you said remembering your promise.

,,Ah carefull love, seems that Slytherin and Hufflepuff are quite good at working together.'' said Billy leaning against the door, still not letting you go inside.

,,You manipulated me.I thought I managed to reconcile ourselves among one another.'' you said now being disapointed.

,,But you did.Who else would be better in that than you?I just gave the necessary push to do it.'' said Billy with a grin on his face, you couldn't help yourself but giggle.

,,Did you also lie to me about not knowing Harry Potter?'' you asked.

,,Pff.What comes next the scarf of sexual preferences?'' asked Billy pushing himself from the door, leaving you a bit speechless.

,,You're still hungry?'' asked Billy giving a nod at his car's direction.With an eyeroll you closed the gap between the two of you and kissed him.

,,Was that for the question or for our secret team work?'' asked Billy keeping you in his arms.Clearly confused about your effection but also not disintrested.

,,Both.'' you said with a smile and looked up to his face, now knowing exactly why you liked him.

[writing-mermaid]

The Princess and the Mad Hatter, Chapter 1 : Tonight, I’ll become the most dazzling precious treasure

Summary : What if Snow-White wasn’t the fairest of all ? What if the most beautiful princess of the Enchanted Forest has been forgotten because she didn’t fell in love with a prince ? This is the story of a curse and of a love story defying all the codes of fairy tales.

Pairing : Jefferson The Mad Hatter x Princess Rose (OFC)

Warnings : None

Word Count : 1 258

Author’s note : Chapter 1 and we dive into the story ! I’ve already posted this, on my main blog, but I decided to rework on it to repost it. Hope you’ll like it. Don’t forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.

Song of the title : Treasure - Flyleaf

Masterlist

The Princess and The Mad Hatter masterlist

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Enchanted Forest, several time ago.

  In a kingdom surrounded by the mountain, the forest, and the sea, lives a young and arrogant prince. Charles thinks that since the day of his birth he could get anything and everything for free, from the most random little thing to the most unreachable one. As an adult, and before being crowned king, he falls in love with a beautiful noble young woman named Sophia, whom, for Charles’ unhappiness, is engaged to a blacksmith, Alister, whom she had chose herself with her parents blessing, seeing in a very positive way their daughter be wed by love and choice, rather than out of a sense of duty with someone of her league.

 Totally obsessed by Sophia’s beauty, Charles decides one day to challenge her fiancé to a trial for the beauty’s hand. Relying only on his courage, Alister accepts the fight to defend his fiancée’s honor. Unfortunately for him, Charles’ hanger for power and the fact that he never accepts “no” as an answer, the prince calls Rumpelstiltskin, the Dark One, to get what he wants : the blacksmith’s death to marry the beautiful Sophia. Thanks to the dark wizard curse, Charles manages to defeat his opponent who however was stronger than him and marries Sophia less than a week later. Full of sorrow, she resigns herself to marry him and her new princess life, and then, queen, less than two years later.

 A few times after the coronation, the newly queen knows that she is pregnant. She secretly hopes to give birth to a boy for giving an heir to the crown and that maybe, she hopes, her husband will leave her alone for a few times. What she doesn’t expect however, is that her royal husband never paid his debt to Rumpelstiltskin and that this one invites himself to the sumptuous party given in the honor of the future baby.

  “Well, well, it’s like we are celebrating something dearies”, he exclaims, with his very shrilly voice. “Rumor has it, it’s a baby.”

“What are you doing here, fitly gnome”, Charles jumps from his throne and runs towards the little man. “You were not invited to this party, so go back from where you come from.”

“Well, I’ve not been invited, but it seems to me, your highness”, he replies, exaggerating Charles’ title, “that you owe me something. Hihihihihi.”

  A whisper rises in the crowd. All are looking at each other, trying to understand what the dark wizard talks about. He starts to talk again.

  “So, I came to finally have what’s mine, your majesty”, he says shaking his hands.

“I am not going to give you anything. Go away before I give my guards the order to kill you.”

“You perfectly know that they can’t do anything to me”, the Dark One chuckles. “But I can do something against you, in fact, I am going to do it, take it as a warning. King Charles, this is your punishment for failing our contract : all the children you are going to have will be girls, you are going to tell me, having only girls can be a gift, especially if your little princesses are pretty as gems, but and this is the beauty of my curse, all your daughters are going to be uglier and more stupid the next than the previous one, starting with the one your wife is carrying right now.”

  Speaking those words, he disappears with a mad laugh. At the moment he pronounces these words, Sophia collapses on the ground shaken by sobs. This marriage already makes her unhappy, and now in addition, she is condemned to only give the realm only girls and moreover ugly girls, who are probably going to be miserable all their life. It is too much for her and her mental state.

  “Don’t you worry”, Charles tells her, hopping he is going to comfort her, “this is not going to happen, I am pretty sure that the magic of that imp will have no effect on our children.”

  Sophia isn’t reassured at all, she knows all about Rumpelstiltskin’s powers, and perfectly knows that he wasn’t faking. This is a punishment, she thinks, a punishment for marrying the man who killed the love of her life, her true and only love. Sophia isn’t stupid, she knows that Charles only married her as a trophy, and not for love, because she knows perfectly that her husband is incapable of loving anyone but himself. In a last effort, she wishes with all her strength for a miracle to happen. Her pray is heard and a little blue halo entered but one of the throne’s room window.

 “Maybe I can help you.”, says the little halo before materializing into a brown hair woman.

“You can ?”, Sophia asks, her voice filed with hope.

“I can only reduce this spell, that’s the best I can do.”

“What do you mean ‘reduce the spell’ ?”, enrages Charles. “You are going to cancel this spell, and this is an order !”

“I don’t take orders from you, even if you are king.”, the Blue Fairy curtly replies. “You have, by vanity, stole another man’s fiancée and you used dark magic because your oversized ego wouldn’t have supported a defeat, and you refused to pay. However, I can’t for your wife and your future children let it be. Queen Sophia, I can only act on the child you are already carrying, everything will depend on her. Unfortunately, I can’t change the fact that all your children are going to be girls, nor the rest of the curse, but I can do something for that little princess. The child you are carrying is going to be the most beautiful princess that kingdom have ever seen, and probably the most beautiful the Enchanted Forest ever known. She will be brilliant, and loving with everyone, and especially with her sisters. This child will be your only hope to break Rumplestilskin’s curse.”

“How could she do that ? Tell me please.”, Sophia whispers.

“Simply by receiving a true love kiss.”

“If it’s that simple”, Charles mocks the Blue Fairy, “she will receive one soon enough when we will engage her to a prince.”

“Don’t you think that it’s going to be that easy, the spell will be break only if her true love gives her that kiss. Don’t consider that this will work with the first comer to whom you will give your daughter. That’s all I can do for her”, she finishes turning around towards Sophia. “Take care of your precious little flower your highness.”

 This is her last word; before becomes again the little halo and goes out same way she came in. Not really relieved, but a little reassured about the baby she is carrying, Sophia notices by the corner of her eye that her husband is fulminating. Obviously, he doesn’t believe in Rumpelstiltskin and the Blue Fairy spells.

 A few months later, Sophia gives birth to a dazzling and perfectly healthy little girl. She has a light white skin, auburn hair, light hazelnuts eyes, a straight and delicate nose, and thin lips of the color of a pink rosebud. She is, indeed, the most beautiful princess of the Enchanted Forest. That’s why her mother decides to name her after that flower. The whole kingdom celebrates princess Rose’s birth, and even if Charles sees in her a future currency to make his kingdom grow, Sophia, on her side, sees in her a flower who will bring hope to a better future.

Taglist :

@the-geeky-engineer​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @winterschild999​, @realgreglestrade​, @hellomissmabel​, @howlingbarnes​, @belleetlabeast​, @theashhole​, @sebbytrash​, @crazychick010​, @bionic-buckyb​, @callamint​, @just-another-fangirl777​, @learisa​, @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt​, @mokacoconut​, @marvelbase001-blog​, @thefiregypsy​, @snowyseba​, @theycallmebucky​, @buckysberrie​, @speakcroissant​, @fangirlwithasweettooth​, @tequilavet​, @iamwarrenspeace​, @melconnor2007​, @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​, @mrshopkirk​, @poealsobucky​, @maiden-of-gondor​, @jurassicbarnes​, @abovethesmokestacks​, @thisismysecrethappyplace​, @arawynn​, @sebbys-girl​, @captainrogerss​, @caplanbuckybarnes​, @supersoldierslover​, @totallynotashieldagent​, @crazy-little-thing-called-buck​, @4theluvofall​, @supernaturaldean67​, @prettyyoungtragedy​, @papi-chulo-bucky​, @lenavonschweetz​, @forever-graphically-frozen​,  @buckysglow​, @winterscldicr​, @bethanystan​, @asirenscalling​, @after-avenging-hours​, @winchester-with-wings​, @angryschnauzer​,  @callingmrsbarnes​, @suz-123​, @writingruna​, @sugardaddytonystark​, @angelicthor​, @themistsofmyavalon​, @redgillan​, @loricameback​, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​, @farfromjustordinary​, @you-and-buckyb​, @bucky-made-me-do-it​, @lovelykhaleesiii​, @newmooneyfanfiction​, @lovely-geek​, @fanfictionjunkie1112​, @thefanficfaerie​, @littlemarvelfics​, @cordytriestowrite​, @firefly-in-darkness​, @caplanreads​, @my-emotional-self​, @searchingforbuckyfavs​, @buckybabybaby​, @i-alyssa​, @5sos-xmalumx​, @ravennightingaleandavatempus​, @atlas-of-the-world​, @mizzezm​, @welovecaptainamericaass​, @superunnatural23​, @barnesjamcs​,

[nancylou444]

regarding your last post, they did say it was just a theory, the only good thing to come out of it was the donation mentions at the end, hellers really can do something good??

(re)

Yeah, but even when they do ‘good’ they have to make it about that ship:

The CW television show ‘Supernatural’ recently concluded its fifteen season run, and while it should have been a bittersweet moment for fans, the ending left more than something to be desired. When episode 15.18 aired, written by writer and co-executive producer Robert Berens, the reaction from fans and newcomers alike was unanimous - we weren’t crazy. By confessing his love for lead Dean Winchester after 12 years, fallen angel Castiel had achieved something monumental for LGBT audiences around the world, and the ship that had been mere subtext for so long had finally become canon text. With a large portion of their fanbase being LGBT+, Supernatural fans were delighted that they were finally being seen. Theories were spread like wildfire, and the fandom was alight with excitement at what might happen next. The term ‘Destiel’ trended above the US election for several hours. But when 15.19 aired, and later the series finale 15.20, fans were left feeling more hollow than ever before. Castiel was killed off not thirty seconds after his confession, and though his eventual resurrection was later mentioned in a passing comment, fans never again got to see him on-screen. Additionally, his sacrifice is not mentioned once in the following episodes, and the main characters do not even seem to mourn their best friend of over a decade. It seems like Castiel had been pushed off screen for daring to be openly queer, and Dean had been silenced on the issue so it would not have to be addressed, and there was no risk of him being coded as a queer character. Supernatural at large has a historical problem with killing off queer characters. One of the most prominent being Charlie Bradbury, a geeky lesbian who was murdered by a nazi and dumped in a bath tub, purely for the shock value and development of the male heterosexual leads. This trope, known as ‘burying the gays’, further extends to characters on other CW shows, such as Lexa on ‘The 100’. Queer audiences deserve better, particularly from Supernatural – whose cultural legacy and success can largely be attributed to its large LGBT+ following. Although the fans are grateful for the work and fight writers like Robert Berens put into the show and appreciate him and everyone else who fought for this behind the scenes, it still stings that we could not be given the kind of reciprocation seen in heterosexual pairings on television. LGBT romance deserves better than to be hushed off screen. That is why we are here now. Queer characters like Castiel and Charlie did not deserve this ending, and neither did we. Let’s channel our upset into fighting back in the best possible way - by spreading love and support for these characters, for Robert Berens and Misha Collins, for all those who fought to establish Castiel as a queer character, and for LGBT+ people everywhere. To the LGBT+ audience of Supernatural; you are important. You are loved. And you deserve to be heard.

(x)

Chuck is bi and he and lots of other lgbt+ characters lived, but nah let’s keep bringing Charlie up. 

When Dean Winchester first graced our screens in 2005, there was an instant connection between him and the audience.

He was our eyes, our heart, our compass in a show that held onto the vision of found family.

In him we saw our flaws, we saw our victories, we saw a reflection of who we are.

For me, when I first sat down to watch this show years ago, I saw something in Dean I resonated with. I saw his struggle with self-acceptance. I saw his strength in the face of adversity. Personally, I identified with him, with his story (minus the monsters) with his journey as a queer character.

Nothing can take that from us. Dean deserved to speak his truth. And though he never did speak, he was able to love. Truly, truly love.

As we move on from this show that has been with us for so many years, we have to remember what's real. This family, this character, this journey.

Dean died fighting fear with love, and I will always fight for love.

Now, we write the ending. We make the change.  

To Dean Winchester, the brightest soul who embodied love. To Jensen Ackles, the man who brought Dean to life, and subsequently, a family of fans.

We cared about this whole world for love. For you.

Thank you.

We chose this organization because we wanted to bring awareness to the injustice the story ultimately did to Dean's mental health and character arc. He finally loved himself, finally was free, and then was unnecessarily killed off.

To all of those who feel hopeless, to all who feel unloved, to all who struggle on the journey towards acceptance, this is for you. You deserve to live.

For more:

The way they chose not to finish telling Dean’s story. That gets me. They chose not to let him speak. they chose not to let him grow old. They chose not to let him be his authentic self when he was finally starting to practice self love. The way he didn’t want to go out with a bang, he wanted to be a mechanic, he wanted to pet behind miracle’s ears while watching some old western, he wanted to be able to wake up late and get a full 8 hours, or maybe 12 some nights, and he wanted to live. Dean wanted to live. Dean Winchester, the man who wrote the book on self sacrifice, on self hate, on self inflicted pain, the man who always wanted to bear the burden so that no one else had to, that Dean Winchester wanted to live.

He deserved to live.

For him, we carry on his legacy.

(x)

NO mention of Sam in this bullshit. 

(x)

No fanfic bullshit. No nothing. 

------------------------------------

Like their overlord, their ‘charity’ work always has a connection to that ship. 

[swan--writes]

The cafe I work at just got shut down because of the coronavirus and it's really stressing me out... could you write Beej/Dewey comforting a reader in a similar position?? (Your writing is amazing, btw 💕💕) sfw is fine

I know, I’ve still got Dewey songfics to get through. I wanted to bang this one out though, because I think a lot of us are probably in the same boat. I chose to write Beej because I thought he could provide a helpful perspective, and because that fandom has helped me through so much already. Thank you for requesting this, I hope it helps, even in a small way.

Words: ~1,525

Lawrence Beetlejuice Shoggoth was not a morning demon. Few demons were. Beetlejuice preferred the darkness of night, when his solitude wasn’t so blatant. During the day, he had to watch people crowd cafés and sidewalks and movie theaters, and everyone seemed to be paired or grouped off. It felt as though he was the only lone person, and he wasn’t even a person. He was a powerless demon, doomed to walk the Earth with nothing and nobody. All he could do was comfort himself with the blackness of night – the knowledge that if he could just reach far enough, make himself strong enough, he could make people see him. He wouldn’t be as invisible as he was.

At least, he had been before you had summoned him. Now, Beetlejuice didn’t mind mornings so much, as long as he spent them with you.

Normally, you woke up slowly. Very slowly. Four alarms and three snooze buttons slowly. Once you had accepted your daily fate, you would pull your phone into bed with you and scroll through social media. Beetlejuice would eventually get bored of you staring at your screen and nose at your arm, sometimes going so far as to whine “Pay attention to me!” So you would for as much time as you could spare before you absolutely had to get up for work. Your demon boyfriend would follow along behind you, tugging at your waist and nipping at the back of your neck and altogether being a pain until the moment you walked out the door.

This morning was different, though. This morning, the sun woke you up before your alarms, and you checked your phone. Beetlejuice slept on beside you when you saw your coworker’s text, your boss’s email, and listened to your boss’s voicemail. They all said the same thing.

Trying not to wake the sleeping demon, you slipped out of bed and into your slippers. You shuffled quietly out of your bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind you.

Beetlejuice woke up around when your second alarm would normally have sounded. He groaned into his pillow and reached out to where you should have been lying. Nothing. “Babes?” he asked softly. No answer. Beetlejuice lifted his head and looked around, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Sunlight filled the room – neither of you had thought to shut the curtains last night, you had been distracted. But Beetlejuice couldn’t find much satisfaction in the memory when he didn’t know where you were.

The warmth of your side of the bed had mostly faded, but it still contrasted the coolness of his arm sharply. Even though the blankets were cozy, they had nothing on the warmth you brought to his skin.

Confident that you couldn’t have been gone long, and more nervous than he would have liked to admit about why you might have left, Beetlejuice swung his legs out of bed. The demon’s feet never met the floor, however. Instead, he floated through the bedroom, through the wood of the door, and out into the living room. There he found you, curled up on the couch and holding a mug of some hot liquid he couldn’t smell, staring blankly out the window.

“Y/N?” Beetlejuice called uncertainly. You made a soft noise, acknowledging his presence and nothing more. Your eyes never strayed from the trees outside. “Hey, what’s going on?” He took in your pajamas, your messy hair, the dark circles under your eyes. “Why aren’t you getting ready for work?”

His voice was so small, and you wanted to reassure him. Right at that moment, however, you simply did not have it in you. Without speaking, you leaned over and picked up your phone from the coffee table, pulled up your voicemail, and played your boss’s message through the speaker. Slowly, Beetlejuice came to hover beside the couch.

The message was straightforward and as sympathetic as it could be. It used all the buzzwords – ‘covid-19’, ‘public safety’, ‘mandated closures.’ Your boss made it clear that this was a public health crisis, but must have read this message from the email you had received. Just listening to it made what little tension had managed to leak from your shoulders in the time you had been sitting there flood back in.

“Closed?” You nodded and set down your phone. “For the next two weeks?”

You nodded again, and swallowed. “At least,” you mumbled.

“What are you supposed to do?” Hearing the breath your took then, how ragged it was, Beetlejuice immediately dropped the question. “Oh.” He chuckled softly, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Y’know, this reminds me of the black plague.”

You flinched. “God, Beej, don’t say that.”

“No, really. There was this thing in Italy where everybody had to just stay home. Nobody in, nobody out.”

“What happened?”

“It worked!” You frowned up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, they also burned down every house where people were showing signs of the plague with the family inside, but–”

“Beetlejuice!” His mouth snapped shut. He stared at you, tension clear on his face. “Jesus Christ, now is not the time.” Finally, his brow furrowed with a troubled understanding. This was serious.

Normally, his breather would have laughed right along with him. As it was, you had the overwhelming urge to take a shower. To replace all the oxygen in your lungs with the steam. To scrub down your apartment, your street, the whole damn block until it was spotless. Virus-free.

You were so occupied with the enormity of the task and the amount of bleach you would need to accomplish it that you didn’t notice Beetlejuice moving. Before you realized what he was doing, the demon had taken the mug from your immobile hands and set it on the coffee table. He closed the curtains, switched on a lamp, pulled a few DVDs from the entertainment center and set them beside the television, and he was trying to move you from your position on the couch.

“BJ, what are you doing?”

“You’re taking up too much room. I need to sit down.”

“Beej–” As quickly as you started to protest, however, you gave up. There was no real point – you had nothing else to do. You scooted toward the edge of the couch and let Beetlejuice settle down between your side and the couch back. He was still in the soft black and white pajama pants and white tee you had given him to sleep in months earlier. He loved those clothes.

Beetlejuice turned onto his side and waited for you to do the same. Then, he pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and draped it over both of you, slipped an arm under your elbow and around your waist, and tangled your legs together. He leaned forward and nuzzled your hair.

“What are you so scared about?” he whispered.

“Not having a job. Not being able to leave the house. I mean, what if I run out of food? What if I run out of meds? What if I–?” Beetlejuice felt the sudden tension in your arm over his, and he lifted his head to get a better look at your face.

“What?”

You took a shaky breath. “What if I already have it, and I just don’t know yet?” Beetlejuice went slack behind you, but he shook his head.

“You got a fever?”

“No.”

“You breathing okay?”

“Mostly.”

“Then you’re fine.”

“But–”

“Hey. You’re fine right now.” Beetlejuice gently rubbed his hand back and forth, soothing over your waist and your stomach. He kissed your ear, then returned to nuzzling at your hair. “Stick around here with me, we’ll get you through this.” A tear slipped from your eye and landed on the couch, but you said nothing. “And if you die–”

“Beej.” You tried to say it sternly, but it came out sounding far too weak.

“–I’ll still be right here with you.” He shook you a little at the waist, trying to get you to look up at him. “Right?”

You sniffled, but nodded. “Right.”

“Right. Hey, c’mere.” The demon pulled you back into him even more firmly. You held his arm around you with both of yours. He stroked your stomach with his thumb and brushed your hair back from your forehead with an extra hand. Beetlejuice closed his eyes and nestled his nose into your neck, breathing slowly and unnecessarily, taking in your early morning scent.

Dozens of thoughts were trampling your mind. Your job, your budget, your rent, your health, your friends. Over the last few months, you had been so careful to allocate every dollar, to look after every symptom. Now…

Beetlejuice sighed against you. If it were at all possible, your body automatically relaxed even farther into his. He might have been dead, but he was here. He was here and he was solid and he was willing you to believe that everything would be okay. You had never fully understood his ability to make you feel the way he could, but just for the moment, you let him. Maybe (hopefully), eventually (someday), everything would be okay.

.

.

I’ll edit your essay.

Tags List: @skiddyyo @paxenera @a-okay-rj @the-geeky-lady @darkblueeyedperson @hannah-de-lioncourt @ironmansuucks @missihart23

If you would like to get on the tags list, here is the post.

[lokisprettygirl]

Love is Selfless, It's Kind (Loki x Female Reader) (Part 39)

Summary : Loki describes in detail how he would control you and you make your decision.

Taglist : @colifower @rinacreateart @christineblood @the-wounded-healer05 @lokiprompts @geeky-politics-46 @sharklover927 @virtualstrawberrydinosaur @huntress-artemis @rat-p1ss

When loki went back to the party, you were still in shock. Why life couldn't be simpler than this? You answered your own question pretty quickly as you realised that it's because you're not dating a simple man, you're dating a god, he's been alive for a thousand year and he have a complicated past and he's a complicated man, it comes with the territory. All you know is that you can't imagine your life without him especially after everything you have been through with him. He can't just give you an ultimatum like that, how could he even think of that?

You stepped down from the sink and checked your reflection in the mirror, then you went back to the party, you couldn't concentrate on anything, Bucky saw you lost in your thoughts, and he approached "You okay doll?" He asked you and you smiled, things between you both has been better now that he apologized and he was trying to move on from the infatuation "Yeah absolutely, just tired" you lied and he smiled "Pepper can be bit much huh?" He chuckled "She's perfect though, I guess wedding makes you like that, by the way where is your plus one?" You asked him sheepishly and he blushed "We are not there yet I think" he ran his hands through his hair and you smiled, you were happy for him. When everyone seemed busy with taking pictures and having fun, your eyes only looked for loki, he sat in the corner of the hall, all alone, probably thinking about this. When his eyes met yours, he held onto the gaze, what was he thinking?

What were you thinking? He couldn't tell, you seemed normal, he didn't want to lose you, he don't think he would be able to take that, he did offer you his friendship if you choose to let go of this relationship but deep inside his heart he knew he would always belong to you, and he would always want you to be his, solely completely his. He can't even watch you have a conversation with Bucky, he felt jealous, how could he ever let you go ? His mind went back to the vacation he went on with you, everything seemed so perfect, everything seemed so normal? You agreed to be his forever and then he bought you both the house and he also got something else too. He waved his fingers and there it was, the ring he got for you just a day before you were almost killed. He planned to propose you right after Stark's wedding but now everything feels like a dream again, Everything seems uncertain again and he hates it.

He saw you walking towards him and he made the ring disappear, you sat down next to him and he looked at you. His heart felt so broken as he realised how awful he has been to you in last few days, why everytime you have a death experience or near death in this case he ends up hurting you more after that instead of holding you in his arms and comforting you and drowning you in love. He was trying to prove a point but now as he looks at your adorable face, he only feels burdened by how he chose to treat you, he recognised his toxic behaviour and he hated it.

Sometimes You do end up doing the same things you have been through yourself, and in that moment he recognised his own toxicity. He hurt you, he treated you badly, he called you a whore in bed for a week straight and even though you enjoyed it, he felt awful now, you're his sweet princess, his goddess and then the last nail on the coffin, he left you today. He didn't want to think about the moment you stepped downstairs and didn't find him out there waiting for you, how hurt you must have felt , he really didn't deserve you in that moment, you shouldn't have gone to see your mother but how could you not do that? How could he expect that from you? You're the kindest woman he has ever met, how did he expect you to just ignore that threatening text from your mother. You did call him, he didn't pick up. He was at fault too.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt your right hand grabbing his left and you linked your fingers with his, then you placed your head down on his shoulder and scooted closer to him. You'd never treat him how he treated you in the last few days, you'd never be so mean to him, you'd never reject his affection or his advances, you'd never make him beg so you could fuck him, you'd give in, because you were too kind to him, kinder than he deserved.

"Everything will be alright lo, I promise baby" you mumbled and he teared up as he heard your soft voice, it's not as if he enjoyed treating you like that, maybe sometimes he did when you'd whine and whimper underneath him he did enjoy it, but other than that he felt cruel as he rejected your hug or sweet kisses or your invitation to drown him in affection, he hated that, he kissed your forehead and then he tightened his grip on your hand. What would he do without you? He didn't know and he didn't want to figure that out in this lifetime. But it was upto you this time.

"I hope so, take your time princess, it's a big decision" he mumbled and you looked at him "Okay lo, please calm down baby, I can hear your heart running faster than usain bolt" you chuckled and he smiled. Now Who's Usain Bolt? He had no idea but he didn't care "You wanna slow dance with me?" You asked him and he didn't say anything, he just stood up and then asked for your hand. Celine dion's a 'new day has come' was playing in the background and it felt perfect, that's how you felt for him. You might be dating a god, but he was still a man and he was your man, albeit a little silly at times.

When the party wrapped up, he drove you towards the tower, since you had your stuff there and you'd need it for tomorrow. On the way he didn't say anything and you didn't either, you raised your fingers to scratch his scalp but you were afraid of him pulling away again or rejecting your touch "Can I?" You asked him and he looked at you, the fact that you had to ask to take and give the simplest of affection hurt him, it's all his fault as usual though "Please" that's all he said to you, soft baby lo was coming out of his hibernation after that little outburst in the bathroom and that ultimatum.

When you reached the tower you grabbed your stuff and he took it from you, then he drove towards the home. Your home with him that just started to feel like one, but everything is so close to disappearing again and you hate every second of it. Once home, you took off your heels, and went to shower, he sat down on the bed, he looked defeated and exhausted, all of this stress was draining the life out of him, he was scared about your safety you could see it. When you came out you sat next to him, you wanted to hug him and comfort him if he would allow you "lo" you called out to him and he sighed "I should take a shower too, you should sleep princess, big day tomorrow" he told you and got up, he kissed your forehead before he left.

You laid down under the covers and tried to fall asleep but you couldn't. You heard him turning the shower on in the bathroom, When he stood under the warm water finally, is when he allowed himself to break down, he sat down on his knees as he cried his heart out, he cried for you, that he almost lost you, cried that he treated you so awfully after that and cried over the fear of losing you again. The only person who could bring him back from this negative space was also the person he was hurting all along, He promised you the world and he wants to give you the whole world but how could he when the world itself wouldn't allow him, when he keeps sabotaging his own happiness.

When he finally came out, you sat up on the bed and looked at him, just a towel wrapped around his gorgeous physique, you missed drowning him in affection at every chance you could. He went towards the closet and put on a sweatpant and then he joined you in the bed "Not sleepy?" He asked you and you shrugged, your heart felt heavy and anxiety riddened every cell of your body, how could you sleep like that? "Lo?" Your lips trembled as you called out to him and he looked at you. Please don't cry princess, I won't be able to stay strong he thought to himself but it was too late "What's happening to us lo? I feel so alone, it's like I have you next to me... but I feel as if you don't want me to be here" you sobbed a little as you asked him that and he pulled you into his chest, he needed to fix this. Why does he ruin his perfect as ever relationship everytime?

He rubbed your back as you sobbed into his chest and then he laid you down under him, he wiped your tears but he couldn't stop his own from falling over your cheeks, so you did what you always, you engulfed him in a bear hug and he didn't reject, he didn't pull himself away from you "I miss you lo, I miss my soft baby lo.. I miss him so muchh" you sobbed and he just held you tightly in response. He feels pathetic and he hated himself like he used to before he met you "I'm here..I'm sorry..I'm sorry my princess..my goddess, I'm so sorry love" he mumbled as he hid his face in the crook of your neck ,you rubbed his back and he put his head up to kiss you.

"Mean lo is hot don't get me wrong" you laugh between your tears and it just made him feel worse "but I miss being held and cuddled, I miss holding you and.." you couldn't speak further as your voice choked on your tears. He kept wiping your tears with his thumbs, but they kept coming "I know and I'm sorry, I don't even know how to apologise to you for that, I don't feel ...oh princess..I don't feel I deserve your forgiveness, I have been awful to you, you needed me and I.. I just " he sat up on the bed as he couldn't stop himself from crying.

He wanted to comfort you but he was inconsolable himself in the moment, you sat up and got on top of him, then you hugged him so tightly, you needed him to forget, you needed to forget all of this yourself, you wanted for things to go back to how they were "Shhhhh calm down lo please" you mumbled as you rocked him back n forth slowly, you sat with him like that for minutes until his sobs diminished slowly as he finally let out all the emotions he was bottling up in him since that day "You know I'll forgive you in a minute lo, I see why you're doing what you did, I know you're scared and I know you're afraid of losing me but I'm scared too lo, you really think I don't care about my life? That I am not afraid of death? Of leaving you all alone here? Especially now with plantie here to help us get our forever you really think I would be okay with losing it all? I'm not lo..I just made a mistake baby" you spoke softly as you ran your fingers through his hair and he looked at you.

"I know..I know..and I'm sorry, fuck I .. please princess..I'm here and I want you always, I know I can't justify being such a jerk to you but I did it because I was trying to teach you a lesson, to protect you so I could keep you here with me forever" he sobbed and you kissed his forehead "You're one silly baby, you know that?" You wiped his tears and he looked at you as if you offended him but he knows he's a silly baby so he put his head down between your neck and shoulder as you played with his hair and kissed his neck over n over again to calm him down.

"I know I am and that's why you still have a decision to make y/n, I'm serious about that" he told you and you sighed again, you just have to knock some serious sense into him overtime, he's yours and you're supposed to be there for each other in such moments of uncertainties, isn't that what a relationship is all about? To help each other grow? He may hurt you sometimes but nothing can take away the fact that he's also the same man who has loved you since the first day he saw you and have made you the happiest you could have been in your life.

"Can we talk more about that?" You asked him and he nods in yes, you stepped off him and sat on the bed, you cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly before you spoke "When you said you'd control me what did you mean lo?" You asked him and he pushed his hair back with his hands as he sighed, you're not going to like this "I would make your decisions that's what I meant, you won't go anywhere without my permission and if possible you won't go anywhere without me, if I'm busy at work you'd be at home or here, it depends on me and you can't resume work at the store, I can't let you work at a place where anyone can walk in at anytime and hurt you, I'm sorry I just can't, well that's some of it" he looked at you as he tried to gauge your reaction

"Okay that doesn't seem so bad to me lo, can I still work though after everything is fine lo?" You asked him and he's surprised with your calm composed reaction, he was expecting you to throw a fit like you did in the car yesterday "You can princess, ofcourse you can, once things get back to normal and I feel you're completely safe from harm, you can, but let me help you find your passion, something you'd love doing, no more of that mundane job at the store" He told you and you tilted your head.

"You do realise that is how you met me right?" You smiled and he smiled in return, he kissed you softly, he felt relaxed and calm all of a sudden, you were taking this better than he thought "I do, I think about it once every day believe me, but I was supposed to meet you my love, and you..you were meant to be mine, but you can always do better, you can always grow and do more in life, If it was upto me I wouldn't allow you to sweat a day in your life and just give you everything you'd ever need on a golden platter, but you want to be independent, to have your own security and I adore that so just let me help you figure out a better way to do that okay?"

You nod in yes and again he's surprised, don't know why but he is, why would he ever think that you'd just be okay with being his friend and nothing more "Okay I'm okay with that, what else lo?" You asked him and he sighed again "I won't allow you to see anyone from your past ever again, I don't care who it is, your ex, your dad or whosoever, if they are trying to get in contact with you, you'd have to bring that to me so we won't have the same problem again, if something seems wrong and I warn you, you won't take it lightly" He told you and you smiled, his conditions doesn't really seem that bad, why was he acting so weird about it? He made it sound like he was going to lock you in a room and keep you chained to his bedpost "That's just..I would have done that anyways, I hate those guys you know that and I won't take anything lightly" you told him and he puckered his lips and looked to the side as if thinking.

You pecked him on the lips and he smiled at that "What else?" You asked him and he cupped your cheeks "Until I figure this whole thing out and make this world a better and safe place for my princess, you have to stick with me like a shadow, I can't let you be out of my sight even for a second, even though you'll get sick of me, you can take a break once things are better, I would hide in my vault or something" he told you and you pecked him on the lips again "You gotta leave me alone in the bathroom atleast, you know? for that???" you chuckled and he bit on his lips to stop himself from smiling like a fool "Okay I can do that" he told you and you smiled "Then I can do this, now following the god of mischief like a shadow isn't that bad of a deal, so many people would kill to take my place and I would never want a break from you or get sick of you..just not possible" you smiled at him and he shook his head. If only those people knew how much his princess have to suffer through his tantrums, they wouldn't want that place.

"Anything else lo? because until now your conditions seem fair to me and if this is your definition of controlling me? Then control me all you want sweet thing" You asked him and he smiled as he heard you. He often assumes the worst but you make everything so easy for him, he just have one more condition for you, he kissed you before he spoke "Just one more thing" you looked at him curiously.

"You will have to train with me three hours a day so you can become an asgardian warrior princess"

[buckleyydiaz]

Her.

Moreid, 2.3k words, on AO3 here

Warnings: Cheating, Discussion of past child sexual abuse, Discussion of sex (no actual sex) (let me know if there is anything you want me to add!

Spencer hadn’t meant for things to get this far. At first he hadn’t even realised what it was. A fellow scientist messaged him, wanted to talk to him. When she had asked him to hang out, he had said yes. In hindsight, he regretted that more than anything. He should have realised, should have said no.

But he went out, and when she kissed him, he didn’t push her away. Spencer didn’t even know why he didn’t. Even as she took things further. He never stopped, never thought. But it was too late now to turn back, to change what he had done.

He tried to keep it a secret, fully aware of how much it would hurt Derek, but the guilt was quickly too much. So sheepishly, he approached Derek, praying that he wouldn’t be met with anger, with a request to break up - even if that was without a doubt what he deserved.

His wildest imagination couldn’t have prepared him for what his partner would say. At first he just looked slightly up to meet Spencer’s eyes, broken. He sat down and cried. Derek had never looked so vulnerable, and Spencer wished more than ever before that he could go back in time, say no, do anything to save Derek this pain he now suffered.

Spencer was so quickly forgiven, he could barely believe it. 

“It’s okay, I swear, I love you. We can move past this.” 

“Derek, you don’t have to forgive me. I know I did the wrong thing, I don’t expect anything from you.”

Something in what he said seemed to further upset his partner.

“You will never do it again, right Prett… Spencer?”

“I will never do it again. Derek, I swear to you. I regret it, and would do anything to take it back.”

The tears on the older man’s face tore Spencer’s heart in two. What Derek said next seemed so painfully out of character, something so weak from a man so remarkably strong.

“I’m so sorry… I will try to be better, I will do everything I can, so that you don’t have to leave me again.”

Spencer nearly began to sob at that. It wasn’t up to Derek to change, he had done nothing wrong, but he had a feeling it would be a long road to get Derek to see it that way.

“Der, I swear, it’s not your fault. I’m the one who did the wrong thing. Not you.”

A switch seemed to flip somewhere deep inside Derek’s mind.

“Spencer, if I were a better boyfriend, you wouldn’t have had to go to… to her. I know I have my flaws, and I am trying my best to be good enough for you. If you need to though, you can go to her again, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you promise not to. I know you probably need something that I can’t give you. If you are going to see her though, can you tell me? If you tell me what I need to change though, I will try, I swear. Just ple-” he let out a choked sob, “please don’t leave me, Pretty Boy.”

Seeing the man who was normally such an alpha-male type sitting on their couch, tears streaming down his face was killing Spencer. As much as it killed him to leave Derek alone in his state, he knew he had to take a step back, give them both a chance to calm down and think this through.

“Hey Der, I’m going to go out for a walk. I’ll be back soon, and I’m not doing this to leave you, I just think we both need a chance to think this through. I love you so much.”

Derek nodded from the couch, “I love you too. Please come back soon?”

----

When Spencer left, Derek managed to get himself up from the couch. 

“Hey Clooney,” he called out to the dog, his voice rough from the tears he just couldn’t seem to stop.

Clooney barked in reply, running to follow just behind Derek’s feet, as he slowly made the way to his bedroom.

He lay down on the bed, thinking about what mistake he made that tipped the iceberg, that made Spencer realise that he alone could not be good enough. 

Maybe it was the long hours he had been putting in at work, to help lift the burden off of Hotch, who was much better off spending time with Jack than doing paperwork. It had cut into the time he had to spend with Spencer, but he still tried his best to spend as much with him as he could.

Maybe it was that he didn’t spend enough time with Spencer doing his geeky and nerdy things. He had tried his best to be involved, but sometimes he chose to go to the gym instead of going to a chess competition, or picked an action movie instead of a new sci-fi one that would be more Spencer’s thing.

Maybe it was because he was so stupid in comparison. Spencer had such a bright, intelligent mind, and he must have gotten bored with him never being able to keep up, always getting lost as soon as he began talking about some classic literature, or some complex scientific or mathematical concept. It would explain why he slept with a scientist.

Maybe it was that he still wasn’t fully comfortable with sex. He tried, and he did his best to please Spence, but he still didn’t feel comfortable bottoming, and only rarely was he okay with topping. Given Spencer had gone and slept with a girl, that could be it, he wanted to fuck Derek, and Derek wouldn’t let him. 

Even thinking about it made him uncomfortable. Thoughts of Buford overwhelmed him, and without Spencer by his side to help him, as he had every time the memories got too much for so many years now, he didn’t know what to do.

Derek got up from the bed, reaching into the closet to grab one of the jumpers from Spencer’s section, one that his partner had accidentally bought a few sizes too big years ago, one that smelt like his Pretty Boy from being worn frequently. He pulled it over his head, breathing in, feeling just a small bit calmer.

Derek climbed into their bed, letting Clooney jump up with him, despite being against the normal rules, just to help him feel not quite so alone. 

Derek swore to change himself, uphold his promise to Spencer and be a better boyfriend so he wouldn’t have to go and find sex with someone else, that would surely turn into romance eventually, because his partner was not the kind of person to go out and have meaningless sex in the long term.

Derek wasn’t going to lie, and say it didn’t hurt that everything had turned out the way it did, but the onus was on him, not on Spencer. So he was going to start leaving work earlier as much as he could, doing all of the things Spencer wanted to do, even if they sounded horrendously dull and boring to himself, and he would have sex. He would do it to please Spencer, because he would rather live with the memories of Buford haunting him even more, than live in a world where he wasn’t with Spencer.

------

It had been a few weeks since the horrible conversations had happened, within which Spencer had noted a significant change in Derek’s behaviour.

Despite Spencer’s constant reassurance that Derek was a great boyfriend, and that he loved him so much, he kept changing. In many ways, he had been being even kinder, more caring and considerate of Spencer’s needs than ever before. If it weren’t for two factors, Spencer would have thought the change was a good thing.

The first factor was obviously the day where everything came to light - Spencer cheating on him, and Derek thinking Spencer didn’t want him. Spencer knew that as much as it had hurt him to see his boyfriend looking so fragile as he swore to do better, and much as it had torn his heart in two to come home to see Derek lying on Spencer’s side of the bed, in his jumper, desperately clinging onto Clooney, dried tears staining his dark skin, he had come out of the whole ordeal unharmed. He still had his boyfriend, despite fucking up, seriously. Derek on the other hand was all types of not okay.

The second thing that alerted Spencer to just how wrong everything was were the nightmares that seemed to have multiplied since their discussion. Almost every night, Spencer had been woken up by kicking, screaming, or soft, broken pleas from his boyfriend, lost in bad memories in his tumultuous sleep. Spencer could easily guess what they were about, and was left having to, because when Spencer woke him up, every time Derek would refuse to discuss them, in a very stubborn way. At least his stubbornness hadn't completely changed.

He had enjoyed Derek leaving work earlier to go out on dates, or just so they could lounge around the house or play with Clooney. He was overjoyed when Derek actually tuned in to his rants about Russian literature and physics and all manner of things that he didn’t understand, and when he agreed to come and watch Spencer play a chess competition, rather than choosing to go and do something else. But he hated why he was doing it, that this plan he had to ‘earn’ Spencer’s love seemed to be costing Derek any peace from the haunting thoughts and memories inside his head.

It was a Friday evening when everything truly came to a halt. Derek had left earlier, bringing a pile of reports in his bag. They had gone out to a lovely Italian restaurant, enjoying the romantic atmosphere, and when they got home, the logical next step was for them to have sex.

They hadn’t had sex in any way since everything came out into the open, and Spencer was cautious given the nightmares that Derek had been having. But Derek was enthusiastic, so he hesitantly decided to go ahead and do it.

But once they were both on the bed, naked and touching each other, Derek said something that shocked him. 

“I want you to fuck me,” he panted.

Spencer immediately recoiled in shock, suddenly realising that his instincts that something was wrong, were right. He stayed silent for a moment, and Derek began to look uncomfortable, quickly gathering his clothes and redressing.

“I’m sorry… I thought that was what you wanted?”

Spencer once again felt horrible for what he had done. Of course that would be the conclusion that his insecure boyfriend would jump to. Knowing that what needed to happen next was discussion, Spencer quickly redressed as well.

“Der, you don’t need to do this for me,” he said, reaching out to hold the hand of his boyfriend, who was cowering on the other side of the bed, as far from Spencer as he could, looking ashamed. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought you wanted this? I worked out why you slept with her. Well, there are a few reasons. I don’t give you enough attention, and I never understand what you talk about or what you want to do.”

There was silence in the room for a moment, Derek too afraid to continue, and Spencer unwilling to interrupt his partner saying what he needed to tell him.

“Pretty Boy, I’m so, so sorry. It’s my fault. If I had just gotten over myself and let you fuck me… You never would have had to find someone else to...”

As Derek’s voice trailed off, Spencer hated being right. He had gone and fucked a girl, so Derek would assume Spence wanted to fuck him, when in actual fact, it was just a stupid mistake, and despite his incredible mind and incredible memory, he couldn’t remember or figure out why he had made it.

Spencer let go of Derek’s hand for just a moment, and he flinched, sure that he was going to be left alone, again, that this would be the final breaking point. But just a moment later, Spencer had crossed the bed to sit next to him, grabbing him in his arms and holding him tight.

“Derek. I need you to know this. I can live without ever having sex with you. I can live without sex, or anything even close to it, if that is what would make your life the best. I didn’t have sex with her because I wanted to have sex with you, I did it in a total lapse in judgement, and I wish I could take it back. I love you so much, more than anything.”

Derek looked up from Spencer’s chest, where he had his head resting.

“I don’t want you to live without sex. I want to get there. I just can’t.”

He looked full of defeat, but Spencer was quick to reassure him.

“Well that's good too. I won’t give you any statistics for it, because I know you’d hate that,” they both let out half hearted laughs, “But I think you can get there, and I will be there with you every step of the way. But never feel any pressure from me to do that. You are fine just how you are.”

A slight smile took over Derek’s face. 

“I love you Pretty Boy,” he said before pausing, “You’re good at those emotional speeches.”

They both laughed, lying down, cuddled in each other’s arms, their relationship stronger than it had been for a while.

“I love you Derek, so incredibly much. Never forget that.”