#so I hope this is close enough to what you meant

[wosoloml]

bedroom experiences || alessia russo x reader

summary: its the first time you try something like this with alessia. she loves to be experimental with you

warnings: sexual content, 18+, top!alessia, bottom!reader, strap on, oral recieving, oral giving, alcohol, dirty talk

a/n: i hope you like it - from this request

wc: 1656 | masterlist

The bar buzzed with energy, the bass from the music thrumming through the air as lively conversations created a constant background hum. It had been a while since you last went out to a pub with Alessia and her teammates. Usually, their schedules were tightly packed, so moments like this felt special.

You were grateful to be here, spending time not only with your girlfriend but also with her teammates, who had quickly become her friends during her short time at Arsenal. 

And they become your friends as well. I love spending time with them. 

Alessia wasn’t usually the affectionate type in public, but something about today felt different. As I casually chatted with Kyra, Alessia’s hand rested on my thigh beneath the table, her thumb slowly tracing soft circles over the fabric of my jeans.

The gentle motion made it nearly impossible to focus on the story Kyra was trying to share. To anyone else, this might seem like a perfectly normal display of affection for a couple, but for Alessia, it was significant.

Something was definitely up, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Or maybe she was just a little tipsy. Probably both.

The subtle reminder of her presence, her silent claim on me, sent shivers up my spine. It was maddening, and I did everything I could to play it cool.

After managing to wrap up my conversation with Kyra—barely holding it together—I needed a moment to regain composure. But my focus was entirely on Alessia and her infuriatingly deliberate fingers still resting on my thigh.

Leaning in closer, I whispered something into her ear, my lips grazing the edge of it. I felt her body tense slightly before melting back into calm.

Without hesitation, her hand pressed more firmly against my thigh, her fingers curling just enough to send a clear message: a warning to not push it too far—not here. 

"You are playing with fire, my love," she murmured with her low and teasing voice. Just meant for me. "And?" I replied, my tone playful as I pulled back, meeting her gaze. 

Her pretty blue eyes are filled with little sparks of lust and desire. They promise that the night was only getting started. 

As the night went on, our touches grew bolder and controlled by desire and lust. A subtle brush of my lips against her temple as I lean in to say something or her hand sliding higher on my leg. It was a game—a slow and delicious build of tension that left me wet and weak in my knees. 

When our bodies touched on the dancefloor and my hands reached her upper thigh, I was left speechless. She looked at me with a playfully smirk knowing exactly what my hands sensed in her pants. 

"You’re playing with fire, my love," she murmured, her low, teasing voice meant only for me.

"And?" I replied, my tone equally playful as I pulled back just enough to meet her gaze. Her piercing blue eyes sparkled with something mischievous—a mixture of lust and anticipation that sent a shiver through me. They promised that tonight was far from over.

As the evening wore on, our touches grew bolder, each one more electrifying than the last. A fleeting brush of my lips against her temple as I leaned in to whisper something, her hand sliding higher up my leg under the table. It was a game—a slow, intoxicating build of tension that left me flushed and unsteady on my feet.

On the dance floor, the air around us seemed to thrum with unspoken desire. Our bodies moved together, close enough that every shift, every brush, felt like a spark. My hands found her upper thigh, and as I let them linger, a realization stopped me in my tracks.

She caught my startled expression with a knowing smirk, her eyes practically daring me to say something. She knew exactly what I’d discovered, and her playful grin told me she was reveling in my reaction.

"We should head home" were the only words that left my mouth as the heat between us became almost unbearable. 

Her teammates teased her as she made an excuse for our sudden decision to leave, but she didn't care. 

----

The instant we entered our apartment, she was at me. 

In a heated and passionate kiss, her lips found mine as her hands slipped beneath my shirt, discovering that I was not wearing a bra. She wore a smirk as we kissed and whispered into my mouth, „Naughty little girl teasing me all night without underwear on.“ 

"And you loved every second of it." Her chuckle was soft as she pushed me gently against the wall. "You have no idea how much I’m going to love the next few seconds," she whispered against my lips, her voice dripping with confidence. "You’ll be a whimpering mess for me, baby."

A soft, breathless moan escaped me in response, words failing as the intensity of her gaze and touch rendered me utterly speechless.

Every brush of her fingers sent electric sparks through my body, each one igniting a fire that I couldn’t control. My back arched instinctively, desperate to be closer, to feel more of her.

Alessia’s lips curved into a smug smile against my skin. She thrived on the way I melted under her touch, on the way my body trembled, needy and utterly hers. "So desperate for me," she murmured, her tone laced with satisfaction, "and I’m just getting started."

She guides me into our bedroom, her hands firm yet tender as she pushes me gently to sit on the edge of our bed. My breath hitches as I look up at her, my eyes filled with pure desire and admiration.

In this moment, the world outside fades away, leaving only the two of us. I've never felt so vulnerable yet so secure, so completely seen and cherished. There’s an intimacy in her gaze, a quiet 

reassurance that I’m safe in her hands, even as the air between us hums with undeniable tension. 

Her hands toy with the waistband of my pants, her movements slow and deliberate. The look in her eyes is a silent question, seeking permission without uttering a word.

When I nod, giving her the answer she’s waiting for, a soft smile plays on her lips. Her fingers slip beneath the fabric, teasingly brushing against my skin as she begins to slide my pants down, inch by tantalizing inch.

Soft whimpers of her name escape my lips, growing louder with every passing second.

“Use your words, pretty girl,” she murmurs, her voice dripping with teasing authority as her lips press soft kisses along my thighs.

“Touch me, please,” I moan, my eyes fluttering closed as the heat of her breath fans over my skin.

“Right here?” she asks, her lips inching closer to where I need her the most, her voice low and deliberate, sending shivers through my entire body.

“Fuck… Alessia, yes,” I gasp, my voice trembling with desperation, completely at her mercy.

Her tongue finally reached my throbbing, heated core. “You taste so sweet, babygirl,” she says, licking all my arousal and sucking on my clit. My hands seize her hair, as she feels incredible.

I can't handle it anymore. 

My walls start to tremble around her tongue inside of me. 

-----

"You are sure you want this?" Alessia asked, her voice now intimate. 

I nodded with a soft smile. "I want this; I want it."

We are both naked on the bed after Alessia fucked me so good with her mouth and hands to prepare me for the point that I was excited the whole time. 

She pushed down her pants, exposing the big strap-on you sensed earlier between her legs on the dancefloor. We have talked about this. She was way more experienced, but I'm ready to do it with her now. 

Even though I had seen it before, seeing Alessia wearing it made my stomach flutter. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Alessia climbed onto the bed, her body moving with a natural grace that left me breathless. She settled between my legs, her hands resting on my thighs. She leaned forward to press her lips on mine, lingering in the kiss. 

Her hands slid up my sides, pushing my shirt up and over my head. Her mouth and lips found my nipples and played with them. „Alessia…“ 

She knows exactly how to make a girl needy. 

„Pss, Babygirl, I take care of you.“ „Lie back“, she murmured, her voice thick with desire. 

She positioned herself carefully as she pressed the tip of the strap against my entrance. The sensation was unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. I let out a soft moan as she pushed forward slightly. Her eyes were checking on me, but I made sure that she knew how much I enjoyed it. 

Her name rolls off my lips in pornographic sounds. Alessia moved slowly, giving me the time I needed to adjust with every inch. When she was fully inside me, she let out a soft moan.The way she stretches me out feels so good. I could get used to it.

She began to move then. At first her movements were slow and deliberate, but as she noticed how good my walls felt around her strap, she finally started to go faster and harder. "Alessia—" I gasped, my voice breaking when she hit a particularly sensitive spot. 

"You feel incredible," she whispered, her voice husky with desire. 

My breaths came faster, my body arching into Lessi as I felt myself reaching the edge. Alessia seemed to sense it, her hand slipping between our bodies to circle my clit in time with her deep thrusts. 

The combined stimulation and the way she moaned my name overwhelmed me, and I cried out her name as I came around her strap inside of me. 

Lessi held me, her own breath ragged as she rode out your orgasm, pressing soft kisses to my forehead. 

"Was that okay? She asked after a while, her voice soft but filled with concern. 

"It was perfect.". 

[biteyoubiteme]

a good seat

yeonjun x fem!reader

warnings: 🔞!!! thigh riding, brat!reader, eye contact lol, yeonjun calls reader a slut once prob forgot some sorry wc: 1k ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ an: this is for the light of my life @apeachty who wants to be mean a blessing and talk to me about yeonjuns thighs, you put this worm into my head and it wouldnt leave me alone so now here is the fruit of your labor, you didn't ask for it and it’s not the best but eh I hope you enjoy it lol also this is not proofread forgive me sweet angels

[m.list]

You never meant to be a brat, or at least not to the point that it had gotten to recently. And it was never what he did that made you behave in a different way, but always just when you fell into a mood without realizing it. Mostly after a night out with friends, where you sit on the edge of the bed watching him undress. He had taken your shoes off for you at the door, bending down on one knee, gently holding your calf, using any excuse he could to touch you. 

He had been so sweet all night, and now you set out to toy with him just because you could. “Aren't you going to get undressed? Get cozy," Yeonjun nodded, jutting his chin in your direction to let you know he could see you waiting for him.  

“No,” it had been so easy to say when he was half-hidden behind the doorway to the bathroom. Because one look from him and you would be putty, melting around his commands with only apologies and whimpers as a reply. And currently, you felt like playing no matter how both of you knew who always had the better hand. 

“No?” he stepped into view, jeans unbuttoned, unzipped, leaving his pants hanging loose on his hips. His tank top clinging to the panes of his stomach just right, all the exposed skin of his arms crumbling your brain into a cluster of half-formed sentences. The most you could get out was enough to repeat yourself, your “No,” sounding less confident looking him down now. 

It was all he needed you to say before he walked to his side of the bed, pushing down his jeans letting them pool right by the nightstand, the fabric of his underwear clinging to him just enough to leave nothing hidden. Yeonjun sat right on the edge, spreading his legs just enough to have you fit between them, exactly where he wanted you as he tapped his thigh as a call for you to come over. 

It's exactly what you wanted, attention, so it was easy to find yourself in front of him, arms crossed, eyes falling to his lap over and over, enough so that he had to tip your chin with his knuckle to get you to look at his face. “No, my eyes are here, this,” he taps his leg again, “is your seat,” 

It was all he said before he had you straddling his thigh, your hands digging into his shoulders, trying and failing to bite back your moans when he held your hips, dragging you back and forth. He didn't care how bratty you thought you were being, he knew exactly how to work you to the edge of an orgasm and exactly how to make you fall back in line. He didn't even have to do much convincing, just tug your panties down and say a few little words. 

But it wasn't like yeonjun wasn't affected, your knee pressed to the hardening bulge between his legs. The second he felt exactly how wet you were against him, he had moaned, deep in the back of his throat on instinct, never fully able to silence himself when it came to you. And your head had fallen forward, dipping down to hide the way you bit your lip, keeping any noise from slipping out. “No look at me, let me see my little slut begging me for more than just my thigh,” 

Yeonjun was playing with fire, your clit grinding down on his thigh like a match striking the box, igniting and catching, close enough to burn. He had asked for you to look at him but the second your eyes were on him he was ready to break, twist so that he could push right into you, keeping you pressed to the mattress until the sun came back around. But it wasn't until you started to beg, just like he asked, that he felt the struggle set in. “Please,” your nails dug into the fabric of his tank top, hips rocking and rocking as he flexed his thigh to aid the pressure you needed. 

This was only another form of you practicing being a brat, you knew how to rile him up, knew that if you leaned into his demands he'd snap and wouldn’t help himself from getting his fill. “Please jjunie, please,” you whined, his fingers digging into your hips, needing something to ground him as he clenched his jaw. He wouldn't give in, he told himself he wouldn't, and yet your sweet mewls only made him harder. “I’ll be good,” you promised, a gasp catching right in your throat when he helped you find the right rhythm, orgasm building in the pit of my stomach. Your need was palpable, your brows scrunching as you tried to keep your head up to look at him, show him just how needy you were, “please,” it was nearly a cry, your hands slipping down his chest, balling the fabric in your fists as you held him. Cunt so wet against his thigh that it was easy to keep you moving even when you started to tremble. 

“If you cum I'll give it to you,” but even if you couldn't finish he would flip the two of you over, he would be desperate enough to just drag you the few inches he needed so that he could sink into you sitting up just like this. “I want my pretty girl to get off right here against my thigh first,” 

“But-” You couldn't finish your thought, one hand falling to his clothed bulge, palming him over the fabric before you felt your orgasm crash into you. You were a shaking mess, whining so pretty for him that he wasted no time in dragging you closer to him, needing to be in you before your mind cleared. Needing to feel exactly how he made you feel with nothing but his thigh. 

taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire @no1likemybbgcharlie @chasingthatjjunie @taegyutomorrow @izzyy-stuff want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join!want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!

[yoonjae20]

Danny deeply distrusts the Justice League

Based on the wonderful @saltymarshmall0w 's prompt.

I really feel like they aren't enough fanfics or prompts where Danny dislikes the Justice League — and continues to dislike them even after everything (Anti-Ecto Acts) is revealed and taken care of. (Or maybe I'm not looking in the right places — if you guys have any recommendations put them in the Tags or Comments!)

Read on ao3. Masterpost

After many years Danny has finally retired — sure he had to leave everything he loved and that was familiar to him behind for it, but it was worth it. He had a small little house that was his own, he would water his plants every morning and make small talk with his neighbors. Everything was fine. 

Everything turns not so fine, when there’s a sudden knock on his door. Expecting it to be one of his neighbors — for example needing eggs or flour (a neighbor’s kid had needed eggs to bake one of her parents a cake and Danny had been more than willing to spare the few she needed) — he opens the door without a second thought.

Only to almost immediately want to close it again. 

Because that’s the Justice League standing in front of his door. And that can mean nothing good.

Before Danny can slam the door closed, Superman‘s shoe slides in between the door frame, blocking his escape. The smile the man shoots him is probably meant to be reassuring, but the only thing Danny feels is dread. 

To most civilians the Justice League is seen as a beacon of hope — but to Danny? He knows the bitter truth. When he needed them the most they turned his back on him before chasing him across half the globe calling him a villain without even hearing his side of the story. They handed him over the GIW for Ancient’s Sake. He would have died if it weren’t for Tucker and Sam. (He may not have scars to show for it but he can still feel his chest burn when he thinks back to it.) Not that they can remember that though. He still doesn’t trust them. 

“You are Danny Fenton, correct?” Superman asks and Danny stiffens. 

Fenton — not Nightingale like he has changed his surname into to escape his parents influence and leave everything behind. 

“Yes,” he says warily — seeing no point in lying. Considering Batman is lingering behind Superman the Detective would figure it out instantly. 

“And you used to be Amity’s Park’s vigilante Phantom?”

Danny grips the door frame, knuckles white. What’s their point? Are they trying to intimidate him?

“Yes,” he grits out. 

“We were told that you are the one we should seek out in matters involving Ghosts and the Infinite Realms,” Superman continues, but Danny doesn’t let him finish.

“I’m retired,” he interrupts. “Find someone else.”  

“There’s a world-ending event,” Superman says like that would convince Danny. Like Danny hadn’t lived though so many of them — had to prevent them from happening without anyone’s help every single time. Guilt-tripping much? “Even if you don’t want to fight — we need you as an advisor.”

Danny snorts, shaking his head. 

“Go take up the matter with the Justice League Dark then.” 

Danny moves to close the door, but still Superman’s foot doesn’t budge. He could probably brute-force his way through this — but Danny’s tired and he’s not in the mood to explain to his neighbors why his door is broken and he needs to do repairs.

He glares at them and to his surprise Superman actually takes a step back — but still not enough to be able to close the door. 

Danny hasn’t transformed into Phantom since he left Amity Park. Had kept that part of himself locked away — would have separated his Ghost Self from himself if he didn’t know he would be selfish for that. Had ignored his Obsession even if it screamed at him — had pushed it away in his Human Form even if it muted all the colors around him and it meant that every breath was a painful wheeze.

Faced with this situation he almost wants to break the promise he made to himself — but he can’t.

There is no GIW anymore —  Danny had made sure of that. He had wiped all of their files and his parents published research with the help of Technus. He had dismantled both portals to the Ghost Zone and made sure no one would be able to replicate it. But Danny also knows the Justice League — knows how much Superman’s punches hurt, how it feels to get mind controlled — they could overpower him in an instant if he twitched as much as into the wrong direction.  

He really doesn’t have a choice here, doesn’t he? If he doesn’t go out of his free will — they will force him with any means necessary, of that much he is sure. 

His gaze trails to his neighbor’s house and the swing in their backyard. And if they are right and he turns them away — is he sure he won’t feel any guilt if something happens that he could have prevented? Sometimes Danny really hates his Martyr Complex. 

Danny sighs, defeated.

“What do you need my help for?”

They had liked their new neighbor despite the fact that he barely left his house other than to water his plants. They had known that the young man was sickly. He looked like death wormed him over and was weak on his feet— his ice-blue eyes dull. His smile barely held any warmth in it.

Still they invited them over after he had given their daughter eggs to bake the cake for their birthday. They learned that he was kind and had escaped to their small village to live a quiet life. 

When the young man came to tell them that he would be out of town for a few days and to please water his plants if they could, they were worried.

“Are you sure that you are fine, son?” they asked and touched the man’s forehead — but it was icily cold like the rest of their skin had always been. “You look even paler than usual.”

The young man had only given them a half-hearted smile and affirmed them that he was fine

Their daughter's excited steps had hurried behind them and she tugged on their pants after the man had left. 

“Was that Uncle Danny?” the girl asked. “Can I play with him?”

They gave their daughter a weak smile. 

“Uncle Danny is busy for a few days,” they explained. “Later, okay? How about you draw him a picture while we wait for him to come back? So he has something to look forward to?” 

Their daughter nodded and raced back to the living room, searching for supplies, while they continued looking out of the window. They can’t help but have a bad feeling about this.  

It’s unnerving how quiet the young man is. 

There are no easy smiles, sassy quips and puns like from the few shaky phone videos they had pulled from the internet about Phantom. 

He’s meticulous. Probably even more than Batman — and that is a statement. There had been a deep mistrust in the eyes when they had located him and asked him to help them. It’s evident in every step he makes. He double-, even triple-checks every single evidence, every single sentence, every single word they say. 

Nothing is left unturned as he works the way though the situation like if he is dealing with a case. He never stops moving, always doing something — reading through heavy leather-bound books or through their reports. His heart rate is so slow that Clark sometimes wonders if the boy is still breathing at all. 

When the young man had asked them if they spoke to the leader regarding the war declaration and the reasons behind them, he had clicked his tongue when they told him no.

He hadn’t let anyone help him when he drew out the summoning cycle — it looked even more intricate and complicated than they had seen from Zatanna or Constantine. When he had spoken the words for the spell,  his words had sounded ancient and undescribable — hushed whispers following every single word. He clasped his hands and only opened his eyes when he spoke the last word, his eyes burning a deep green. 

The cycle goes up in green fire before a form appears — Clark recognizes the Ghost from the declaration. 

The man’s cold gaze sweeps over the Justice League before it stops on Phantom. He smirks, bowing his head slightly.

“I greet the Prince of the Infinite Realms.”

“Cut the crap Fright Knight,” Phantom's voice is steel-hard. “We both know I refused that position.”

The man tilts his head but nods.

“Very well,” he says. “I greet Phantom, savior of the Infinite Realms.”

Phantom grits his teeth like he wants to refuse that title too before he shakes his head. He gestures to the Justice League.

“Explain.”

“We are just paying back what has been done to us,” Fright Knight claims. “Vita brevis, ars longa, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile.”

“Life is short, art is long, opportunity fleeting, experiment treacherous, judgment difficult,” Diana translates for them. 

“I see the Daughter of the Queen of the Amazons knows her arts,” the man’s voice has a hint of mockery. “Humanum genus est avidum nimis auricularum. Ignorantia legis non excusat:”

Diana’s eyebrows knit together as she listens. 

“Mankind is too greedy for lies. Ignorance of the law does not excuse,” her voice is almost a whisper. 

“I would have thought you would know of this Phantom,” Fright Knight addresses the young man again. “But now seeing your state, you probably didn’t feel the call for the announcement either. Is there a reason why you are starving yourself?”

Phantom doesn’t meet any of their eyes as he answers.

“That is unimportant to this situation.”

Fright Knight’s lips twitch back into a grin. 

“If the savior of the Infinite Dreams claims so, then I have no choice but to accept it.” He turns back to the Justice League. “Si vis pacem, para bellum.”

“If you want peace, prepare for war.”

“When have we been ignorant?” Batman finally steps in. 

Fright Knight huffs out a dark laugh.

“When has mankind not been ignorant?” Fright Knight questions. “When your government captured my brethren and tortured them, where were you? When they declared us as non-sentient and staged war against us, where were you? When they threatened to destroy our home, where were you?”

The man’s eyes seem to burn as he repeats himself.

“Where were you?”

Clark and the rest of the League are shocked to silence. 

“Now that the danger has passed, why should we just forgive you? Why should we forget?” Fright Knight continues. “If we are not worthy enough to be counted towards mankind that means we just have to rewrite the rules. And since we were never given the chance to negotiate, that means by force.”

“The Meta-Protection Acts-” 

“Only count towards those that are alive.” Fright Knight interrupts Batman. “After all, how can the dead feel any emotions such as pain? I’m sure if you ask your government they will hand you a lot of pretty reports on the biased experiments that prove so.” 

“But that’s-” Clark starts but Fright Knight doesn’t let him finish.

“Despicable? When has that ever stopped mankind?” Fright Knight asks. “We can talk if there isn't a law that states that we can be eradicated without any consequences.”

Before either of them can stop him, Fright Knight swishes his cape made out of purple fire and disappears. Clark faintly asks himself if that is how other people feel when Batman does that in front of their noses. 

Seeing no other option the entire League turns back to Phantom who hasn’t said a single word since the Ghost went on his tirade.

“Phantom-” Batman tries, but the young man’s eyes burn with so much hate that the normally stoic man stocks in his words. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Phantom seethes. “You heard him. Now finally do your jobs right for once.”

Then he leaves the room without a single glance back.

Clark gulps as they look at each other.

“I feel like we made a mistake.”

When the news declares the Anti-Ecto Acts as abolished, Danny feels nothing but exhaustion. The Justice League barely managed to avoid a large-scale — and very justified war. 

Danny leans back tiredly on his sofa. His eyes trail to the drawing his neighbor’s daughter had given him and the first genuine smile in months graces his lips.

“What I don’t do for mankind,” he sighs before he closes his eyes. 

[solxamber]

Hellooo :]

Pomefiore, 6, hurt/comfort

I'm so excited to see what you come up with! <3

I have once again succumbed to vil, I'm trying to choose others for pomefiore but... vil...

Last Thread || Vil Schoenheit

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "Say that again" ; Genre: Hurt/Comfort

The argument had started small—a passing comment about your schedule, a critique of his relentless perfectionism—but it spiraled out of control before either of you could stop it.

"You're impossible sometimes, Vil," you said, your voice rising. "It's like you don't even listen to me!"

"And you think I’m being unreasonable?" Vil snapped back, his tone colder than you’d ever heard it. "Forgive me for expecting excellence!"

It stung, hearing that edge in his voice, like a blade cutting through the bond you cherished.

"Vil, this isn't about excellence. It's about you shutting me out and treating me like—like I don’t matter!"

He flinched, the sharpness in your words hitting their mark. You didn’t want to hurt him, but it felt like the only way to get through.

“I would never—” He paused, his hands trembling slightly before he crossed his arms to steady them. “Why can’t you understand that this is who I am? This is what I need to do!”

“Maybe I do understand, but I can’t keep standing here feeling like I’m walking on eggshells around you,” you retorted, frustration bubbling over. “I love you, Vil, but I cannot stand to be here right now!”

You grabbed your coat from the back of the chair and turned toward the door, your heart aching even as your hand reached for the handle.

“Wait.” His voice cracked, and the sound rooted you in place.

When you turned back, you saw something in his eyes you rarely saw: fear. True, unguarded fear. His lips parted as he spoke, barely above a whisper.

“Say that again.”

You froze, realizing what he meant. His composure, the armor he wore so well, was gone. His violet eyes were wide, vulnerable.

You sighed, your heart softening as you stepped closer. Slowly, you cupped his cheeks, the tension in his jaw melting under your touch.

“I love you, Vil,” you said, your voice soft but steady. “But I need some air. I’ll come back. I promise.”

He closed his eyes, leaning into your palms like he was holding onto the words, clutching them tightly in his heart. He nodded, a small, almost imperceptible movement, but you could feel the relief in it.

You pressed a kiss to his forehead before stepping back and leaving, the air outside sharp and cold against your skin.

When you returned an hour later, Vil was sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. His hair was slightly disheveled, and he looked like he hadn’t moved since you left.

The moment you stepped inside, he stood, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of anxiety and hope.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, his voice firm but tinged with vulnerability. “For shutting you out, for making you feel like you didn’t matter. You do. More than anything.”

You stepped closer, setting your coat aside. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… I needed you to hear me.”

“I hear you,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I can’t lose you. You’re the only person who sees me—truly sees me—and I…” His breath hitched as he struggled to find the words. “I need you.”

You didn’t let him finish. Instead, you closed the gap between you, wrapping your arms around him. He clung to you, his grip almost desperate as he buried his face in your shoulder.

“I’m here,” you murmured, running a soothing hand down his back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

For a while, neither of you spoke. You just held each other, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words and mutual understanding.

Eventually, he pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands resting on your shoulders. “I’ll do better. For you.”

“And I’ll be here,” you said with a small smile. “For you.”

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re my last thread holding me together, darling.”

“Then I’ll never let go,” you promised, sealing it with a kiss.

we like communication and peaceful argument resolution in this house

Masterlist

[jetsamsoul]

Open wide ~.ᐟ

A/N: guess who's baccckk...I was gone forever because I had to go to the depths of the ocean and drag Floyd back up for you all..true story not clickbait at all. (on a real note, I'm hoping to get back on that grind. Honestly.)

tags: Floyd Leech x gn!reader // very lightly proofread, messy bday blowjob, cheek tapping, deepthroat/gagging, swallowing, shrimpy nickname a couple times, basically Floyd is an idiot.

wc: 1.7k // ao3

It was well into the evening when you got a chance to catch Floyd one-on-one. No other students quivering through a birthday wish. Not a soul taking their chances to give him the presents he openly wished for. Or demanded, really. He had spent a large portion of his birthday exploring old, ‘inaccessible’ ruins aside Malleus, which had been his birthday gift to the mer. Even a small glimpse at the pair was a sight. An interesting and mildly frightening one. Now though, you would find him alone. Turned in for the night having skipped his shift at the lounge. Why work on such an important day?

You entered Floyd and Jade’s shared dorm room with three boxes carefully stacked in your arms. Two were meant for Floyd, the other for his twin. Floyd's head perked up from the book in his hands by the time you shut the door and walked to the end of his bed. The mer sat the book down, sitting up from his reading position. “aah-Shrimpy! Finally came to wish me a happy birthday?” he grinned, pulling you into a squeeze hug as usual after you set the boxes on his bed. “Sea Slug beat ya faaar to it ya know..”

“Yeah, I heard.” You rolled your eyes with a smile and a huff. You sat in front of Floyd on his bed, crossing your legs for comfort. It didn’t bother you that he was busy all day, but you certainly felt a hint of guilt. You wanted to have been with him in place of Malleus Draconia. It was definitely a gift suitable for Floyd...The prince had taken it very seriously to get Floyd the “coolest” gift ever.

“He took me out to these ruins.” He started, leaning back on his bed frame. ”Wish I could’ve brought Jade with me though, ya know? Feel like it's the type of thing he’d really enjoy.”

As Floyd continued to describe his day to you, his voice gradually faded out as you grew lost in thought observing the mer. You liked to watch the way his hands moved around when he talked, waving them around as if he hadn’t already had every ounce of your attention. That he allowed his hair to be less tame when compared to his twins. His choice of clothing like the sweats with colorful splatters on him now. The large hoodie he relaxed in looking so cozy, making you want to join him inside of it. His heterochromatic eyes that contrasted brightly against his fair skin, drawing your attention tenfold. Everything about him eased you in like a fishhook bearing the most appetizing bait. While his story went on, your hand massaged his leg and back. 

You wanted to do more for him. More than the gifts you had already brought for him. A gift that no one else would be able to bear for him. Something special. Intimate. To your luck, you already knew the privacy you had now would offer you enough time. Floyd’s voice was once again audible as you slipped back into the present moment, a minor grin sneaking across your cheeks. 

 Floyd raised a brow at your unknowing malicious expression, tilting his head centimeters to the side a piqued interest. “What?” his position adjusted upwards.  He bore a toothy grin, closing into your space as if he caught onto your plans before you could put a single thought into action. “What’s the face for?” You assumed he already knew. You hadn’t tried to mask your stares or cover up that you had been thinking about something. Placing a hand on his shoulder you leaned up, pulling him into a kiss. He smiled in the return, hands wrapping around you to force you closer. To further the closeness you brought your body up, spreading your legs to sit on top of his lap.  Between a break for air, you licked his jawline, kissing down till your lips met the outline of his collarbone. The mers hips pushed up into you, earning a gasp that put your eyes back on his. 

“So ‘s this why you came here to see me, Shrimpy?’ he eyed you up and down, presenting an eager look that you felt satisfied to receive. “you wanted to suck me off?”  His eyes widened with idea and without giving you a moment to reply he went on.  “Is it cause ‘ts my birthday?” his hand rubbed ` on your back as he waited, his other resting on your lower back.

You nodded to him, pressing your hands on his chest as a sign for him to lay back. Floyd caught on, leaning his back on the purple headboard behind him. You wanted to make him feel good. This would be one of the best ways to do just that. Your body followed his motion, laying your body close to his chest as you rolled your hips to create friction with his lap. Floyd's eyes were burned into your skin, you knew he was watching every move you made closely like a predator. Inching down, Floyd aided you by tugging down at his multi-color splotched sweats till his briefs were revealed alongside a distinctly growing bulge. The sight tugged a smile at your lips while you leaned down for your face to meet the tight fabric. Your tongue darted out to drag a stripe onto Floyd’s clothed cock, a repressed breath slipping past his lips. You rubbed his hard-on through the fabric, the mer watching you closely from above. Your thumb slipped under his waistband teasing the sensitive skin around his dick as your other hand rested on his hipline.

“C’mon..’js take it out already..” Floyd huffed, rubbing his hands along any bare bit of your body he could reach. “You’re gonna make it hurt..’ts not real nice to do on someone's birthday..” 

You glanced up at the mer for a short moment before focusing back on his lower half. Inching down the article, his dick sprang out as the briefs passed his thighs. You wrapped your hand around the base, immediately feeling a twitch on your palm. Floyd was always much more sensitive than you assumed him to be. All that fact did was rile you up more. You wet the rose-flushed tip of his cock, taking it into your mouth moments after. It was thick. Your jaw ached at the thought of keeping it in. Your hand pumped what didn’t fit in your mouth, extra saliva pooling at the end of your tongue. You started leisurely, listening to Floyd’s hushed groans of satisfaction. Your cheek bulged as you moved your head to the side, pushing him out of your mouth to catch a breath. You kept your hand busy with languid strokes to his length

“Ahh?” Floyd’s head perked up, his lazy eyes widening with amusement. “Can’t fit it all in?” He teased. In rebuttal you pushed him back into your mouth, holding back any reflex as your mouth inched down to meet the base of his cock. The mer above you hissed through his teeth, his leg moving up as he flexed his core to fuck his shaft further into your mouth. The movement forced a gag from you, your head instinctually retreating for air. You took in the precious breath, savoring it for the short moment it was before Floyd ran his hand through your scalp, gripping onto a chunk at the back of your head to control your movement. He led you back down, salty precum spreading on your tongue while Floyd held you in place to thrust into you at his leisure. In short time his pace quickened, his lengthy cock slamming continuously down your throat while you struggled not to choke on it.

Floyd moaned erratically from above, your throat convulsing around him as he pushed his limit. You pressed your hand on top of his lower stomach, pushing your mouth off him with a ‘pop’ and erotic gasp for air following. The mers eyes shifted to you as you kept your other hand tight around him.

“I’m gettin’ real close..” Floyd spoke with a whine, sitting up on his knees and taking hold of his throbbing appendage. “Do me a favor and get on the floor so I can have ya on your knees properly, kay?” he demanded, watching you obey his wish with ease. A grin smeared across his face as he sat himself on the edge of his bed above you, squeezing your face in his hand while the other lovingly tapped his erection on your cheek. “Alright, Shrimpy..Open wide~” Floyd snickered, swiftly slipping his cock into your mouth that fell widely agape the moment he asked you to. His hand that previously held your cheek shifted into your hair, fingers tightening around the base of your scalp to guide your mouth. You’re gagging immediately, the familiar feeling of being unable to properly breathe returning as his cock slammed against the back of your throat.

 You could feel your body reacting to Floyd, legs squeezing together as you tried to stay focused on him and not stick a hand down your pants. The vibrations of your explicit hums triggered Floyd’s hips to twitch desperately. His moans grew less controlled, breath held in his chest while you worked at his lower half. The mer gasped, hands squeezing the blankets surrounding him. “Fhh-ah-” His breath grew staggered, unable to finish any sentence he had started. He didn’t think twice about pulling himself out of your throat, his eyes shut tightly as he came what felt like straight down your throat. You took it all in, swallowing what bits had stayed in your mouth. After stilling for a short moment you pulled your mouth off him slowly,  licking at the leftover fluids on Floyd. He whined, sitting up properly as he stared down at you.

“Ah-? You swallowed allat?” he grinned, proud that he didn’t seem to taste bad.

You smiled, standing yourself up to lean in and give the mer a quick kiss. “Happy Birthday, Floyd.”

© 2024 JetsamSoul - All plagiarizing, translating transporting, modifying, etc. is prohibited.

[nativegirltapes]

omg can we talk about tp!mom not being able to pay her bills and when drew is taking care of baby he sees the bills scattered across the dining table and him taking care of it

warnings/notes: reader is stubborn, i didn’t expect this to be as long as it is lol

you told drew you picked up a few extra hours of overtime this week, all in hopes of being able to pay the bills this months, although you left that part out. and of course without a doubt, drew cleared his schedule, booked the first plane, and was on his way; all to take care of baby while you worked. you told him that he didn't have to do all that, that baby could go to your mom's for the weekend, but he absolutely insisted.

after your long eventful shift at the bar, you were finally home. seeing baby was always enough to wash away your worries, after all, you were doing it all for her, and the hours of labor always paid off. you'd work 14 hour days for her if it meant she'd have everything she needed.

"mommy's home!" you heard drew yell as you came through the front door, baby was in drew's arm, a huge grin on her face. "mommy!" she shouted, her little body in a race to get down from drew's arms and run into yours. "how's my baby?" you got down to her level, opening your arms, she immediately ran into them. you gave her a kiss and started unpacking your stuff from work as she sat on your hip.

"busy day?” drew asked while helping you unpack your lunch bag. “yeah, busy and looong.” you replied. “thanks for watching baby.”

after baby was down for bed you did some night cleaning; you realized the bills you left on the table weren’t there anymore. “hey drew!” you yelled, he was laying in your room on your bed, probably napping; taking care of baby all day was fun, but definitely exhausting. “yeah baby. what’s up?” he shot out of bed. “i left some mail on the table before i left, did you see it anywhere?”

“the bills?” he yawned. “i took care of them.” he stretched his arms. he what? “what do you mean you ‘took care of them’” you giggled, really hoping he was joking. “i paid them.”

“what?” you playfully shoved him, but he only pulled you closer. “you better be joking.”

“i took care of them.” he repeated himself again. “i’m serious.” he pulled you close towards his chest, but couldn’t help but pull away. “drew! that was like fifteen hundred dollars in bills!” you yelled. “you can’t just do stuff like that!”

“i’m just trying to help out.” drew’s face flushed with worry when he realized you were actually kind of upset. “i’m sorry.”

after some settling down and a nice warm shower, you sat next to drew on your bed. “i’m sorry.” you whispered, your doe eyes looking over at drew and your hair tied up in a towel. “i really do appreciate your help, but next time can we talk about it?”

drew opened his arm, you nuzzled into his chest. “but if i asked you wouldn’t have let me.” he chuckled. you really had no rebuttal to his point, he was right. you didn’t even like him buying you and baby groceries, so let alone a thousand plus in bills? you were upset. “exactly my point.” you giggled.

“i’ll think about it.”

[cissy0writes]

Little Matchmaker

Part 1

(Jinx x gn!reader)

Summary: The little girl you've been taking care of for a few months stopped showing up one day. A few days later she's on your doorstep once again, but this time she isn't alone... (angst & fluff)

Warnings: mentions of violence and death, selfloathing thoughts, suicidal thoughts, probably ooc Jinx

Wordcount: 1.3k

A/N: Sorry for the delay, my weekend was way more hectic than I originally anticipated. And I worked two double shifts the last two days... This is still not finished, but I decided to cut it into two parts so I could at least post this, it's super short and Jinx only appears at the end, sorry for that... I was super tired while writing this (and as I already mentioned in my last post, english is not my first language), so I apologize for every mistake I didn't correct. I hope it's still enjoyable to read.

The first night she didn't show up, you didn't think much of it. Sure, there was that nagging feeling of worry in the back of your mind; but she was a smart kid- surely she was alright. By the third night, however, you were a complete mess. Your whole body was filled with nothing but anxiety and guilt.

You had looked for her, of course, you had. Day and night you made your way through the lanes, searching for the little girl to no avail. You started dreading the worst, she was dead, she had to be that was the only logical explanation. It's not like it was far-fetched either, Zaun was a dangerous place, and children died daily... You just didn't think she would.

You barely knew her for two months, but it was enough time for you to develop maternal feelings for her. You took her in, kept her well-fed and entertained, and even changed the whole room arrangement in your small house to give her a little space of her own. You planned on raising her to your best abilities and you failed. You failed her, you didn't protect her, you let her wander off... Her blood was on your hands and the guilt was eating you alive.

You always thought it was fate that led her to you, but now you weren't so sure anymore. Would fate be really that cruel? To give you a new purpose, a reason to stay alive, just to rip it from you again?

Perhaps this was fate's way of showing you that you had no reason to stay. Maybe you weren't meant to live a happy life, maybe you weren't meant to be alive at all.

That's all you could think about as you sat in front of the small window of your bedroom. You stared out onto the empty street, the undercity painted in the darkness of night. Your head was pounding- curtsy of the last three sleepless nights, and your eyes burned from the many tears you shed over the last days. You felt absolutely miserable, your mind showing you memory after memory you made with her over the last two months.

You were about to close up your shop when you heard the clashing of metal cans. With a frown you made your way to the window, peeking out of it with squinted eyes. That's when you saw her, a small girl covered in dirt and grease sitting between the trashcans with a pout on her young face.

Her brown hair looked matted and was covered in knots, her clothes dirty and ripped, and goodness did she look thin- like a single blow of wind would knock her down. You quickly made your way outside, wondering where she came from, if she still had parents, or at least somebody to look after her.

Once you reached her and crouched down in front of her with a frown, she looked up at you- face scrunching up in fear and started scrambling backwards until she hit the wall. You carefully held up your hands in front of you, showing her you were no threat. "Hey, hey... it's okay. I won't hurt you." You kept your voice as gentle as you could, and her rapid breathing started to slow down again.

She still looked skeptical of you, and honestly, you didn't blame her. Who knows what she faced, what she went through? You looked her over more carefully, searching for any wounds, but besides a few bruises on her knees and palms, she seemed unharmed.

You bit your bottom lip and looked up at the sky for a moment, it was starting to get dark. The girl's gaze followed yours and she let out a sound close to a whimper, which caused you to look down at her again.

Taking her inside was an easy decision. She was scared, hungry, and all alone; what else were you supposed to do? So, with a small sigh, you got up from your crouched position and held out your hand to her. And after a moment of hesitance, she took it.

She held your hand the whole time. From getting inside, closing the shop, and making your way upstairs to the small flat you lived in- she didn't let go once. It surprised you, how quickly she decided to trust you, but you supposed you were the first person to offer her at least some sense of safety.

As the two of you sat at your tiny kitchen table, a plate with hot porridge placed before her, you decided to ask her the question that's been on your mind since you noticed her.

"Hey kid," was all it took for her to look up from her plate, spoon held midway in the air, and a curious expression on her face. "Do you have a family? Anyone?"

Even though you alredy expected it, the shake of her head still sent a wave of sadness through your body. In that moment, you knew you would keep her around.

The first time you met her...

The memory caused you to break down in tears again. Your shoulders shook with every sob and you felt like you couldn't breath. Why did you let her go outside on her own? Why did you prioritize a stupid sale over playing with her? No money in the world was worth loosing her, and you would give anything to have her back.

You were tired, so damn tired, but you wouldn't allow your body the rest it so clearly needed. You were punishing yourself, why should you let yourself rest? You clearly didn't deserve it. You wiped at your eyes and tried blinking your vision back to focus. But the sight on the street caused your heart rate to pick up; this couldn't be real, you were hallucinating from exhaustion.

You frantically rubbed your eyes and leaned closer to the window, your nose almost pressed against the glass. But it seemed like your mind didn't decive you, she was still there, walking towards your shop.

Isha.

She was alive!

You pushed yourself up, the chair you were sitting on falling backwards and landing on the floor with a dull thud. Then you ran, you ran as fast as you could, outside the room and down the stairs. You pushed the door of your shop open, the door swinging harshly against the wall.

"Isha!" You screamed as you ran towards her small figure, tears still running down your cheeks at a rapid pace.

She looked at you with a smile, oblivious to the worry she caused you, as she picked up her pace.

You fell to your knees in front of her and pulled her tightly against you, pressing your cheek against the top of your head and closing your eyes. Your sobs slowly died down and you took shaky breaths to calm yourself.

Isha was alive, she was safe and unharmed in your arms. Where has she been? Did you even care? Not right now, you decided. Now you were just going to hold her for a while. She was alive. nothing else mattered.

The call of your name from an all to familiar voice, a voice that still haunts your dreams, caused you to snap your eyes open abruptly. You hadn't noticed that Isha wasn't alone, you were far too relieved to see her, so you blocked anything else completely out.

But as if your poor heart hadn't been through emotions already, you were now faced with the very person who broke it. Your eyes widened as you stared at her, her gaze looking almost haunted as her violett red eyes met yours.

Jinx. She was right in front of you, and now you were vividly picturing the last time you saw her in your mind.

[atangledfate]

People tended to remember him as there were not many Albino Cobras in the medical field. Funny enough most ended up soldiers, or in less then legal occupations. But he always had a love for medicine, and wanted to help others. It was what brought he and dawn together and why they worked so hard during the war to save lives. They still did it now, course back then Dawn was just a dumb kid who needed something to keep her focused. He was happy she got her nursing degree after the war was over.

" My apologies, normally couples take each others surname i suppose i assumed. Well, no matter if you have some medical training lots from the airship have minor injuries. Just speak with Head Nurse Dawn she'll show you to the room and help if you need it... "

Lanolin was walking toward the main desk with Surge as she glanced over to her. Well Surge wasn't wrong but in a situation like this she probably had no choice. Lots of folks hurt, and only a short number of people to help. She knew Dawn was good at her job, good enough to get the gruff old snakes approval.

" She probably feels like she doesn't have a choice. She's one of the only ones qualified, and look at all these injured people from the airship. Sometimes we do what we have to even if we push ourselves to the limit..."

The Mouse met up with Surge and Lanolin with a big smile having overheard the conversation to a degree. She was rather short, being barely taller then Jewel was. She had a rather cheery smile despite how bad things were, and a 23 on her outfit marking her as the 23rd clone made.

" Awww, that's so sweet Miss Surge! no worries here! our upper limit is around one hundred! though we start to get pretty confused around 60 or so... its alot of information to process and we share brain power! "

Lanolin was really shocked by that number, even if each clone had no powers. in terms of raw numbers that meant dawn could easily overwhelm an enemy if she had to. So 40 was, what? a casual jog for her? Sometimes she was amazed by people's gifts, and felt like her own Sonikinesis was rather on the weak side.

" I see, well just take care of yourself Dawn. But we are here on business, is Jewel here? No one has seen her and i'm really getting worried about her. "

Dawn checked her tablet and looked rather concerned as she looked backup to Lanolin with a meek look. She shook her head no as she didn't have a record of her in the infirmary at all.

" Sorry... she wasn't with the injured... and none of us have seen her. Maybe she went back to her office? or with all the debris from the air ship... i hope she isn't out there someplace..."

Lanolin looked over to Surge but she was already on the move. She crossed her arms looking down at the floor wondering where she could be. What could have happened? if she was hurt someplace they needed to find her... and fast.

============nearly 30 minutes earlier ==========

The ache in her skull woke her, long before anything else had. She struggled around to get herself woke up feeling a hand on her shoulder telling her to stay still. She tried to and yet, her memory rushed back to her! the Airship was going down, vector and the others were heading to the infirmary when--- she saw the airship starting to crash. It was close to the prison and she wanted to be sure no one was there or hurt. She found two people in the cell, those two brutes but even they didn't deserve to be left alone.

She had unlocked the cell when one of them grabbed her, and yanked her inside! They had taken advantage of her kidnness! those brutes! Yet as her eyes focused she could see the front of the prison had caved in, something must have hit it and--- no they didn't attack her they'd saved her from being crushed.

" Rough? Tumble? ugg... my head... "

She was looking at the two Skunks, probably plotting some plan in the back of there head. Yet they didn't have to save her, maybe because she'd tried to let them out? Or maybe they weren't all bad deep down inside.

" Did... you... save me? i--- thank you..."

However it didn't change the fact---they were pretty trapped inside the building now. the exit she came in was caved in, and the cell itself was pretty sturdy. It looked like they had tried to dig out but hadn't had much luck.

Gaia... of all the people to rescue her from certain death... she never expected it to be THEM! Maybe they saw her as a bargaining chip or, she liked to think they weren't nearly as bad as people thought. They were no good sure, but maybe... just maybe even they didn't like idea of killing someone or letting someone die.

She didn't know... but she was sure they'd be rather forward with it soon enough.

"Grimrose is my wife's last name. You can just call me Twist seeing as I don't got a last name myself, at least one I haven't gone out and searched for." Twist didn't know his birth parents, and never stuck with the last name of those who adopted him, nor did he take his wife's last name despite her best efforts, so he was just Twist, plain and simple. "I doubt it as I was clear for active duty, so I was stuck in a shelter helping out where I could, though it don't matter." It was a mute subject right now as he's seen lots of faces in his life.

"Well, I ain't no doctor, though I do have the bare basic's of medical training. Got anyone with just a few cuts or scrapes I can take them off your hands." Twist was by far from the level of a doctor or a military medic, though he knew a thing or two. Enough to deal with the small problems to let the more experienced deal with the bigger ones.

"Well, I guess she should be careful not to deal with burnout right now. I see a lot so if she's stretching herself thin she may want to dial it back before she hits her limit." Surge wasn't sure if her powers was the same as someone who had a natural ability, though if it was close to what she had then burnout wasn't fun. That said, she did notice the glare from the doctor, though only rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to do a run around the base, see if I can spot Jewel before heading up to the command center. I'm not sure why, just got a feeling it wouldn't hurt." Surge wouldn't wait for Lanolin to respond as she swiftly dashed out of the room to do a once over of the base. Not like it'll take long with someone of her speed.

[differenteagletragedy]

Baxter Ward Neighbor AU!

When Baxter moved into his apartment in Prism Vista, the space across the hall was occupied by an older man. He wasn't impolite, he was never rude, but he wasn't friendly either. They exchanged tight, perfunctory smiles with him in the hall, maybe a nod every once in a while -- and that was fine with him.

But then the old man moved out, in with a child of his, he'd heard. And you moved in.

And you were ... well, you were different.

Baxter had gotten used to keeping anyone and everyone in his life at arm's length, especially the people he had to interact with regularly, but for some reason, that simply was not good enough for you.

"Some people might think I'm a little annoying or whatever," you'd admitted to him one day when you showed up at his door with a plate of fresh baked cookies. "But I'm not trying to be, I'm just trying to be nice. It feels good to be nice, you know?"

He'd wanted to say a number of things as he accepted the gift. Things he would have said when he was younger, flirty little meaningless things to make you feel good and to make himself feel like he mattered. "You're not annoying, you're adorable," something like that.

But that was then, and grown-up, closed-off Baxter simply gave you a small smile and a plain, easy truth -- "I appreciate it very much."

No matter how little he gave of himself, you seemed to have no problem giving him more and more of you in return. Months went by, months filled with homemade dessert drop-offs, chatty elevator rides, the occasional exchange of a screwdriver. Neighborly things.

He became used to it, and then he grew fond of it. Not enough to inspire him to pursue things further, but enough that he started to feel a dull sort of ache, a pang of some sort of missing when he went too long without seeing your smile.

It wasn't until nearly a year after you'd moved in that he finally admitted to himself that maybe, possibly, he could let himself want more.

One Wednesday morning, he'd gotten himself ready for work, going through the old familiar motions. He made it out to the parking garage, operating on autopilot, until he saw you leaning against your car, tears in your eyes. It was the first time since he'd met you that he'd seen you upset, and he immediately felt the urge to make it better.

"Are you all right?" he asked you, slowly approaching you.

"No. It's my car, it won't start. It's ... I don't know, it's been making some dumb noise and now it won't do anything, and I'm going to be late for work, and then my boss --"

"I'll give you a ride."

The offer was out of his mouth before he knew it, but of course he meant it: if it would make you feel better, he'd do it. If it might make you smile again.

You shook your head, starting to refuse, but he unlocked his car, parked a couple of spaces down, and opened the passenger door with a flourish.

"Baxter ..." you said, hesitant to let him do this relatively easy thing for you for reasons he didn't understand.

But he wanted to, with a desperation he hadn't felt in years. And in realizing that, he felt something spring to life inside him. A kind of hope that he hadn't felt in years, a little feeling that maybe he could actually, truly get close to someone again. That maybe this time he could stay.

"Let's go," he said softly, a little more of a demand than a request.

If he had his way, he'd have started to crack you open right then. Get into your head, find all the things that make you tick, all the little details about where you came from and what you've done. Your hopes and fears and regrets, what little bits of nature and nurture had woven themselves together to make you so kind and good.

But for now, he reasoned, a neighborly favor would do.

[backseatsoldier]

"Broken", Not Stupid - 16: I Am Broken

Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unusual omega!OC (13)

CW: Omegaverse; dehumanization; beginnings of an anxiety attack, though it's not labeled as such; some negative self-talk (13)

Author's Note: Ok... one more then we'll get into 13 starting to spill the beans. She'll be ok - Simon's there now! I think I'm going to pause on 13's story for a bit, though. I've got things brewing about other OCs so I'm gonna get started on their stories uwu <3

When I open my eyes again... my head is still on Simon's lap. I adjust carefully so I can look up at him. His eyes are closed and his head is resting on the back of the couch.

"Simon," I call to him softly. "Hey," I say a bit louder and poke the center of his chest.

His lashes flutter and he opens his eyes. With a groan, he tilts his head to look down at me.

"What's wrong?" he asks in a voice rough with sleep.

"The way you're sleeping, mostly. C'mon. We should both go to bed."

As I sit up Simon's hand snakes around my waist, but over his blanket.

"No," he mumbles, "stay here."

What the hell is he on about? Damn, he needs more sleep.

"Simon," I call to him louder. "Wake up."

I reach out and gently poke his cheek through his mask. His eyes open wide at the contact and his breathing gets heavier. Slowly, with a shocked expression of my own, I slowly pull my hand away from his face.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to... freak you out. You ok?" I ask with a gentle voice.

"Fine," he says, shaking his head then letting out a heavy sigh. "Just not used to people touching my face."

"Right. Fair enough," I agree then get up from the couch to make my way to my room.

The smell of pancakes cooking wakes me in the morning. As I roll to get out of bed, though, I nearly roll on to Selene. She yawns at my sudden intrusion then gets up to stretch.

"Good morning to you too." I smile at her then run my hand over her back and up her tail, causing a small chirp to leave her. "I smell pancakes... but do you think your dad is making more bacon too?"

She blinks slowly at me in response and I give her a quiet laugh then truly make my way out of bed. When I reach the kitchen I pause in the archway for a moment.

Johnny's here. Making breakfast. And Simon's nowhere to be seen.

"Lass! Good morning! Simon had to run to grab a few things to make sure all five of us would be fed properly today," he chuckles then yawns. "I knew he'd call me over early so I showed up a few hours early. Hope you don't mind?"

"Not my house," I shrug and step up to the counter I continue to sit on while Simon cooks.

"Isn't it?" Johnny asks with a smile as his focus returns to the pancakes.

Unsure what he means by that, I hop on the counter and change the subject.

"So... what are the other two like?"

"Other two? Oh, you mean Cap and Kyle? Cap's a bit of a, uh," he leans towards me, like he's sharing a secret, "workaholic. I'll have to make some strong coffee all day to make sure he stays awake," he chuckles then straightens. "Kyle is a secret trouble maker, but he's a sweet heart. Would adopt and love all the kittens in the world, if given the chance, I think."

"What do you mean 'secret trouble maker'?" I push with an eyebrow raised.

"He's not as open about his chaotic nature as I am," Johnny says with a wink.

I nod, accepting his answer and glance around the kitchen. The kitchen feels... weird... without Simon here.

"Missing him?" Johnny asks suddenly with his eyes on the pancakes but a knowing smile on his face.

"Who?"

"Your alpha. Who else?" he asks with a laugh.

"My... hm. Well, is he, though? We haven't really... discussed any of that," I admit with a slight frown.

"You knew who I meant, though." He's got this smug look on his face, like he's just outwitted someone.

"Johnny, besides you, Simon's the only person I've actually met in the area," I remind him flatly.

Johnny's smug looks falters.

"True. Didn't think about that. I wanna go back to what you said, though. Haven't discussed what?"

"Him officially being my alpha and all that. I tried to initiate the conversation last night but I mentioned-"

My mouth snaps shut, remembering Simon's reaction to how Salvation handled the heats of the omegas they care for.

"I mentioned some things about Salvation and heats, but he... didn't take it well. Sliced his finger and just seemed so angry," I explain with a frown. "After we cleaned up the cut and I banaged it, he told me that all three of you would be here today. That all of you would listen to my story."

He stays silent for a while, removing pancakes from the pan and adding new batter.

"I won't ask for specifics. I'm sure I'll hear about it at some point, but, lass." He turns to me fully. The expression on his face reminds me of a puppy. "We're here for you. All of us - me, Cap, Kyle, and epsecially Simon. And there will be more on that list when you're ready."

Part of me wants to argue, but the rest of me just can't deny the adorable face he's making. So I sigh and nod my head.

"I appreciate it. I don't understand why that needs to be said, but I do appreciate it," I tell him softly and pick at the hem of the shirt of Simon's that I wore to bed last night.

"What's wrong, 13?" Simon says from the front door.

I can't see him and I can't smell him, but that was definitely his voice. Johnny smiles at me and nods in that direction so I slide off the counter and make my way to the front door.

There's multiple grocery bags hanging off of both of Simon's arms and I have to supress a laugh at the sight of him.

"What's wrong?" he asks again, voice serious.

"Nothing. Was just talking to Johnny. Let me take a few bags," I insist as I reach for his left arm.

"It'll put me off balance. I've got it," he says as he pulls his arm away. "Thank you, though," he adds like it's an after thought.

Then he shoos me to the living room as he makes his way to the kitchen. When he's done putting away the groceries, he joins me.

"Why did you think something was wrong?" I ask immediately from underneath the blanket he let me use last night.

"I could smell your distress," he says simply as he motions for me to come closer.

Confused, I slide closer and lay on my back with my head on his lap.

"You could... smell- I wasn't distressed, though." I frown up at him as his hand begins smoothing my hair back.

"You can't smell anything. Can you?" he asks softly.

"I can smell the pancakes just fine."

"I mean others' scents. You can't smell others. At least not well."

I consider what he's asking. It took being right up to him or wearing his clothes for me to know what he smelled like. Cinnamon and cedar, I can smell it now. But I don't know what Johnny smells like. And I couldn't tell him what anyone else smells like either.

"13," he calls to me and gently turns my head so I look directly at him. "What's going through your head?"

"I'm broken," I say softly. "I always knew I was, but... you're right. I can't smell anyone. I can only smell you if I'm close, like right now, or wearing something that you give me. I don't know what Johnny smells like-"

"Take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do it with me," he instructs and begins doing so.

My eyes prick with tears but I follow his lead. When my eyes no longer hurt and my chest doesn't feel like there's cement in it, he speaks again.

"You're not broken, sweetheart. You've just been through things; a lot of things, I'm sure. Those things have not been kind to you. But I'm here to help you now. I'm here," he assures me, his hand still gently gliding over my hair. "Why you don't take a nap while we wait for the others? I'll stay right here with you, if you want."

His offer is tempting, but doesn't he have things he needs to do before Kyle and 'Cap' arrive?

"I think I'd rather shower then just... exist on the couch for a while. Until they get here. Selene can keep me company when I come back out."

Simon studies me for a moment and lets out a heavy breath.

"Alright, but if I detect even a hint of your distress, I'm either kicking down whichever door or coming back out here and-"

"Are you about to threaten me, the distressed omega?" I ask with a small smile.

"Yes," he nods. "I'm threatening you with being held and comforted."

Oh. That's... a different feeling. Set that aside for later, though...

For now I just get up, leaving the balnket on the couch, and make my way back to my room to gather clothes. I catch a glimpse of Johnny in the kitchen on my way through the house. He looks... so sad, but his focus is on the pancakes.

What I went through when I was with Salvation... was it really that bad?

Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | Part One

Tag List: @lucienofthelakes @lostintransist @demothers-empty-blog @scaredyspooks @tessakate @one-really-annoying-tree-rat @nerdyphantomtheorist @gazsluckyhat @peanutismynickname @jeanzoriley-cod

[quitealotofsodapop]

There will be a massive debate/argument between them all when they find out. Because the first reaction Li Jing will have upon putting two and two together that Wukong and his protegè is somehow related to the strange changes in fate they've found in the draft copies is to summon them once more to Heaven. Which, considering the last time he did that, does not go well and it takes a lot of fighting before Xiwangmu finally gets tired enough of the squabbling on her front yard to intervene and explain WHY Wukong and his friends were summoned to Heaven once more.

Xiwangmu: With the Ten Kings of Diyu gone, Heaven and the Underworld have been forced to use some... archaic means to keep the balance between life and death. The Scrolls of the Dead have a drafted copy so to speak, one that is constantly updated but holds none of the powers the original document held. Whilst going through it, we discovered something... rather disturbing."

Wukong: And that involves kidnapping me and my friends... how?? Also there was a SECOND COPY!?

Nezha: Don't worry, we verified that while your name remains in this copy, you still retain the stolen immortality wiping your name from the true copy did. Twas one of the first things we did considering the reason the... original was covered in graffiti.

Wukong: I'm not apologizing for that. Meant to die or not, mortally wounded or not, I was not dead when they dragged me down the first time.

MK: Wait, what was that about being meant to die? When was this??

Macaque: *sighing* MK. When he removed his name from the Book of the Dead. Didn't you say you'd read the book!?

MK: It's so long and has weird vocabulary that makes my head spin!

Li Jing, trying to steer the conversation back to the to the point: Sun Wukong. There's been a series of events where many a being, whether they be mortal, celestial, or demon, was meant to meet their end where said fate was averted. While it isn't unusual for such a thing, the amount of time and consistency is rather strange. And... all of those instances point to some sort of interference related to you.

Xiwangmu: We summoned you here in hopes of understanding how that might be. Particularly in regards to that considerable feats that my general and grandson witnessed you and your heir perform recently. One does not simply break a cycle of destruction and rebirth so easily."

Prev.

The monkeys all get summoned like "AH! Not again!"

And reoccurring gag of MK not reading the book cus it's so dense and flowery. I think in canon he mentions Wukong erasing his name from The Book of the Dead though.

The squad are on close monitoring and/or house arrest until Heaven can figure out what the heck Wukong and MK are exactly able to do.

Macaque's own hearing powers mentioned in Jttw could also be similar to Wukong's fate-changing ability.

A sensitive ear, Discernment of fundamental principles, Knowledge of past and future, And comprehension of all things.

Macaque is able to know, but Wukong is able to act. Macaque has knowledge of the past, present, and future through his ears, but can't do much to change it. Wukong meanwhile has broken down so many barriers and saved so many lives completely unknowing.

The celestial primates as a whole could be individuals with these specific "screw destiny!"-powers gifted/created by the Universe to defy expectations of the Gods.

I would also like to mention an idea we had in DMs about Nüwa and her mate Fuxi the ape-man - that MK (and possibly even Wukong) were created specifically so they could have the choice to save/restart the world when the apocalypse came to past.

Cus whats the most powerful thing in the universe besides the chaos entropy? The ability to choose your fate.

[leaawrites]

I can’t tell you the way I feel

Liam Gallagher x fem!reader

Summary: when Liam takes on a dare from his friends, he doesn't believe of finding himself making the biggest mistake in his life.

Warnings: suggestive content, allusions to sex, angst, Liam being a dumb cunt

Wordcount: 1.6k

Masterlist

Waking before Liam did meant she had all of his peace to herself. No thought in his mind disturbing them, nobody around that could harm them. It was just their two bodies, tangled in love and sheets.

Reluctantly she began tracing the outline of his face. Her finger moving over his jaw, his lips, down his adam’s apple and over his collarbone. Softly tracing the bone that was stretching his skin towards her, calling for her.

Focused on her finger and how it found it’s way so effortlessly over his body, she didn’t notice Liam’s eyes opening. Confused at first, though softening when seeing her by his side. His arm tightening around her waist, pulling her closer. The sheet covering her chest falling down, exposing her cold skin to his warm one.

“Morning, love,” he greeted her, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. His voice raspy and still lower than she’d ever heard it before.

“Morning,” she answered back, a slight heat rising up her neck and rushing to her cheeks the longer he looked at her. His eyes never wavering from her own gaze, fixated on him.

Drawing small circles on her hips, he smiled as she took his other hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. Slowly leaving a trail of kisses up his arm, over his chest and on his neck, he let out a soft groan in reaction. His nose pressed against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her bare skin.

Her soft lips gently sucked against the flesh under his ear. Giggling against his skin when she felt his arms around her waist tighten. His hands squeezing her hips.

Two bare chests pressed against each other, falling and rising in sync. Breathing as one.

“Wait, love. Stop.” His voice sounded desperate, like she hurt him. Soft, gentle kisses pierced a dagger through his heart, every single one a mark now on his skin. A reminder of his sin.

Bagging away slightly, she draped the sheet over her chest again. Looking at him with wide eyes, fear soothing through her that she’d done something wrong. Was it too much? Was it not good enough?

Seeing the look in her eyes, thoughts clearly spiraling through her head, he couldn’t form a good excuse. What seemed so easy with everyone else felt like a burden with her. Normally he’d say something like, ‘I promised my mum to be home already’ or ‘I should go, not that your parents find out’. But now, lying seemed to be too harmful.

“I need to -” he started talking, his finger pointing outside the window.

“You need to go?” Finishing his sentence for him, he nodded his head, shameful looking down, not catching the eye roll and sarcastic grin on her face before it disappeared again just as quickly as the realization came. Of course it was all just for a quick laugh with his friends. It was Liam Gallagher, for fucks sake. “I hope I’m not keeping you from going.”

Picking up her shirt and underwear from the floor, she quickly put them on, before walking over to the other side of the room and taking his clothes as well, throwing it his way before walking out the door.

A, “Wouldn’t dare to,” falling from her lips as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Still leaning on his elbows, Liam stayed like this as if he was frozen. The shower went off in the other room and that was when it hit him. He fucked it up completely. Throwing his head into the soft pillow he let out a groan. How could he not even find a good excuse to make it less shameful to walk out of her house?

He deserved it though, he decided ultimately as he found himself back out on the street, walking with his head low. He totally deserved it.

Unlike her.

Head leant against the door of the bathroom, she waited until she could hear the front door close before turning off the shower and letting the water from her eyes flow down her face. Of course he didn’t mean anything he said. Why did she even let him invite her to the gig anyway? Why did she have to go too?

When his body rushed towards her the night before, eyes lighting up as he found her and excitement being written all over his face, she believed that - maybe, somehow - Liam Gallagher wasn’t as much of a twat as she always assumed he was.

Though female intuition is barely ever wrong and that’s what she should’ve been listening to. Not the hammering of her heart or the lovesick thoughts in her brain for finally being seen by someone as more than just another face. It was her own fault.

Noel sat in the living room, feet propped up on the coffee table, eyes fixated on the telly, though he noticed when Liam walked in, the heavy stomp of his feet being too familiar.

Falling down in the seat next to him, a beer now in his hand, he popped open the can and starred at the people talking too. Neither acknowledging each other more than with their mind.

Until Noel spoke, “You weren’t too shite.”

“Thanks.” Taking another large sip, he tried ignoring his brother as much as he could.

“Though the songs sound like they’re written by a toddler. Did you write them then?” Noel was sure Liam would throw the telly at him as he said that with his sour mood, though he only chuffed, sinking further into the cushion. Trying to escape from this conversation. He knew where it would lead to.

“Not everything that’s shite in your mind is from me, alright? Cunt.”

Noel’s brows furrowed, why wasn’t he trying to strangle him yet?

“I’m not too opposed to the idea of joining anymore,” he tried it differently, trying to make his mood lighten.

“Cheers, mate. Gonna tell the others then.” His voice staying monotone and unwavering. Nothing could be a worse conversation topic at the moment in his opinion.

“Your bird’s fit.”

Jinx.

“She’s not my bird,” Liam tried, his voice growing defensive. Molding in the same tone that he had when talking to ehr the first time.

“So, she’s free?” Noel asked back, quite enjoying how deep in denial his brother was. Finally, Liam’s eyes snapped over to him, filled with horror and disgust.

“If you even try something, I swear-” before he could talk further, Peggy came in, a grocery bag in each hand.

“Would you boys stop fighting for once and help your mum carrying in the groceries?” she said, to which Noel immediately jumped up and went outside. Liam following him shortly after. The thoughts still running through his mind. He didn’t actually think she was fit, did he? Well, she was, but who was he to think that?

Later that night, when Liam was already laying in bed, cigarette in between his lips, Noel came walking in. He noticed how off his brother was for the whole day, of course he did. There was barely any talking done at the table, when normally Liam couldn’t shut up even if you’d sew his mouth shut. That night he was simply staring down at his food, not even eating it all. The worrying glance which Peggy sent Noel’s way after seeing her son this abnormal wasn’t easing his nerves.

“What’s got you so twisted?” He asked, sitting down on his own bed.

Liam leaned over, blowing the smoke from his mouth out of the window. “Nothing.”

“It’s about that girl, right? You fancy her and she didn’t want to hear any of it, because she knows you’re a cunt and rejected you, or what?” He asked further, remembering how defensive he got the first time Noel asked about her.

“I don’t fancy her,” was all he got as an answer.

“Sure.” Noel rolled his eyes, laying down himself. “She seemed nice though.”

“She is,” Liam agreed, making his brother’s head turn at the soft tone of his voice. “She’s too nice.”

“How so?”

Closing his eyes for a second, he knew he’d regret telling him what happened, nonetheless he did it. “I took her out because of a dare, and when she realized in the morning she didn’t even try to slap me or summat. She just-” his mind went back to her face, how she looked so distant yet like reality came back to her in the moment she realized. “She just walked out as if she should be ashamed.”

“You dumb cunt,” Noel groaned when Liam finished the story. He talked to her once, but from how she talked about Liam and defended him when Noel said that he had no trust in his brother’s abilities and interest in music, it made him feel proud in a way. Proud that Liam actually got somethin together for once in his life, he should’ve seen the downfall coming. And he did, just not that soon.

“You don’t just disrespect girls like tha’, especially no girls like her, alrigh’?” Noel threw his pillow across the room in Liam’s face, who only threw it back after complaining. “You make her feel seen and then you just push her off, that’s shite.”

“As if I’d listen to your advise,” Liam scoffed, taking another drag of his cigarette. Looking out of their window and down the street to where her house stood, he knew that Noel was right. Of course he was. You don’t just treat girls like that, especially not girls like her.

“Then don’t,” Noel shrugged. “But at least remember what Mum taught us.”

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

can i request killer sans x a reader that has body dysmorphia and bc of that they keep stressing themselves out w diets and working out and killer helps them out? tyyyy if u do <33 want to let yknow i also love ur writing!!

I hope this meets your expectations! I myself didn't ever have body dysmorphia, yet I tried my best to write this as accurately as I can.

Also, obviously not canon Killer bc canon Killer wouldn't give a fuck about anyone.

Featuring: Killer.

Masterlist

He never understood why you always stressed yourself because of diets and daily hours spent at the gym. And he never will, because for him, your body is already perfect no matter the chub on your body.

Yet you didn't think the same, and that bugged him, a lot.

Seeing you practically starve yourself willingly to fit in the society's views made him mad. He saw you always check the calories of the things you bought- leaving things you loved just because it'd make you "fat" in your eyes. It angered him.. watching you worry about your body mass like it's a broken bone and not something that exists for a reason.

.

You looked at the mirror again, barely seeing anything on the darkness of the room, your hands touching the soft skin of your almost flat belly. Your ribs and bone structure could be clearly seen being clenched by your skin, yet it was not enough..

"..I'm still fat.."

You frowned as you turned around and climbed back to bed, you've gotten sick and Killer didn't let you out of the house, that meant no gym, no working out, and he was the one preparing your meals and making sure you didn't forcefully throw up in the toilet. You had no idea how he convinced Nightmare to let him have quicker missions so he could come home, yet he didn't bother explaining to you.

The sound of a door opening and closing could be faintly heard, followed along with footsteps of the person you already expected. Turning your head your eyes met with Killer's empty sockets, a plastic bag in his hand which he put on the nightstand before sitting down on the bed and kissing your forehead.

"How are ya feeling babe? Better?"

"mm... A bit.."

Your lips mumbled softly seeing him smile, grab the bag and put it in front of you.

"Damn it's dark in here huh? No idea how ya can see anything!"

The skeleton jokes standing up and approaching the window blinds, your hands fell inside the bag taking various chocolates, sweets and snacks from it. As the sun light suddenly shined through the window, you turned a package of cookies around to check the calories on the back, only to notice everything except the expiration date was scribbled in back, no numbers or ingredients that always worried your head were visible.

"Don't worry, made sure none of these have something yer allergic to."

He assured stretching his back and getting his jacket off, tossing it somewhere inside his side of the wardrobe and jumping face into the soft mattress of the bed, letting out a tired sign before turning his face to you.

"Killer.. I..."

You paused.

"..Thanks.."

He smirked sitting and covering half his body with the warm sheets, sticking his hand inside the plastic and grabbing a packet of crispy fries, opening it and quickly stuffing a whole bunch inside his mouth.

"mm, no problem babe, love ya."

His socket winked at you as his fangs crunched the fries. Your hand slowly opened the package of cookies and took a relaxed bite out of it. Maybe covering the calories of what you eat isn't a bad idea..

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 9; "Never seen that color blue."

“No, yeah, of course! Noo…no! Thank you! I seriously appreciate all of your help and understanding during this! I hope you have a wonderful day! Yeah, aw, thanks! You, too! Yeah- okay- bye!”

My faux smile dropped as soon as my hand did, phone falling to a silenced settle on my left thigh. I breathed a shallow breath of somehow anxious relief, so ironic that it made me want to scream.

Max reached across the bed and rubbed my knee comfortingly, “You okay?”

I wanted to snort, yell, kick my feet, and laugh hysterically. Throw a temper tantrum, wish on a star, kiss a fucking frog. Fall on my knees, beg the skies. Change fate's cruel course of time.

But my expression was blank as I shrugged, “What can ya do?”

The corner of his lips lifted into the saddest smile. His thumb brushed my skin, “It’s gonna be alright. Once you settle back in, things will start to feel normal. You can start…moving on. And, hey, I’m visiting in just a month. You have that to look forward to. School starting, your new role at the clinic. So many good things, Daz.”

He was right- I had so much to be excited about. I really should’ve felt excited, grateful. A better woman would have. A better woman would have seen the blessings all around her and felt so full of life and love. God, she would’ve respected herself enough to not be in this situation in the first place.

Yet I couldn’t help but feel resentful, knowing that I would trade all of it for-

for him.

For Oliver.

I would give up everything for just another moment, hanging onto his lips like a vine. Just a second of growth, even if being ripped away meant digging up the roots and my leaves dying.

I just gave Max that fake smile, knowing full well he was aware that it meant nothing. “You’re right. It’ll be good for me to be home.”

He squeezed my knee before removing his hand. “You wanna finish packing? Or maybe take a break? Get some food?”

I glanced around at the mess of clothes across Sam and I’s hotel room. My bags lay open, a few piles of my stuff already stuffed inside. But there was more than half to be done. So much to be done before I went…before I went home tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Less than 12 hours from now. I’d be heading back to reality. Closing the doors on Europe, on everything and everybody I’d be leaving here.

There was just one week left on the European leg of the two. Tomorrow morning, everyone will be leaving for Germany. I’d go to the airport with them, like normal, but depart at a separate gate, at the same exact time. Those who needed to know, well, I was going to tell them. And those who needed to know the reason why would, too. Sam was going to think I was going home because of an offer for a higher position from the clinic I worked at. But this was only partially true. Training for that wouldn’t even start for another 3 weeks. School wasn’t for a month.

I was leaving for me- for clarity, fresh air. Oliver was right- London was foggy, full of pollution and shitty, selfish men.

I needed to get away, out. Back to routine and home. Back to what I knew- what wouldn’t hurt me.

I looked back to Max, “I'm gonna finish packing. Get it over with. Before Sam gets back. I think it might hurt his feelings to walk in and see this…mess.”

Mess might have held a double meaning. I had looked better, for sure. Max understood, I think, for he knocked his shoulder against mine, then stood from the bed. “We got it, Daz.”

I stood up quickly, knowing the only way to get started was to just start. Stand. Move. (I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.)

It took us another hour or so to finish stuffing my belongings into their bags. I had bought maybe one too many souvenirs, so we struggled to find a place for everything. When we were done, I slew myself across the end of the bed, breathing heavily, sweating a little bit.

Max groaned from the floor, “Why do you own so many things?!”

“Dude, I don’t even know. It’s gonna take me 12 years to unpack!”

He chortled, half-heartedly, patting his stomach as an afterthought. “I am soooo hungry. What do you wanna eat?”

I sat up as he did so, shrugging a bit, “You pick. I don’t have the energy for all that.”

“I’m good with the hotel restaurant if you are.”

“Fuck it.”

So, we sludged our way downstairs. I hadn’t been leaving my room much, worried you-know-who would cross my path and shake things up again. Though, I doubted he was looking for me. He hadn’t so much as texted me since last week. Oliver was probably sulking, convincing himself that he was the victim in this whole thing. The thought made my blood rush a little bit. I clenched my fist as the elevator doors closed, trying to focus on breathing and not screaming.

The past three had been probably one of the worst of my life. I was so…so sad. So angry. Confused. Nothing made sense, yet all of my fears had come true. It was like I knew all the answers, but my bones felt so put off by how they manifested themselves. Like, what do you mean the cold, dark, distant boy turned out to be a cheating, manipulative liar? Right on the money.

My rational mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that it still felt so…disappointing? Wrong? Fucked the fucking fuck up.

The doors slid open. I followed, quietly, behind Max as we headed for the inlet to the left of the front counter. This was a usual part of my new found routine, grabbing food with Max. Albeit, sneakily, with numerous texts between the two of us (me, badgering him) ensuring nobody else (Oliver) was down here. In avoiding him, I had been avoiding everybody else, too.

I could already see their knowing looks. Sam could read me like a book. Ronnie was way psychic and usually felt the vibe of a situation long before it occurred. Adam, obviously, already was aware. And I'm sure he would have relayed the information to Cyrus.

I was exuding this aura of heartbroken, school-girl-fantasy-crushed, sad-puppy shit. I felt tired, and I’m sure my eyes looked it, too. Any passerby probably could have read my emotions pretty well. No matter, I’d be out of here soon. Back home. I could heal, rest, relax, find somebody else to fuck and get the fuck over this dumb ass white boy.

My dumb ass white boy. I’d tried not to think about him, so deeply sunk into this angry feeling that I couldn’t even fathom the idea of missing what had hurt me. Alas, every once and a while (between every other curse I thought of) something would flash through my mind. A distant memory, an image of his deep-ocean blue eyes shining with flames from the rooftop firepit, triggered by a breath, a catch of the wind, a sink in my heart. I’d feel a little moth flicker in my chest. An air bubble, taut in my stomach, would have me hiccuping from gushing tears in an instant.

I think it was the deep blue suede of the hotel bar’s stools that did it this time. I brushed a hand, slowly, watching the color shift from the movement of the fabric. The lighter color reminded me of a time he felt the way I did right now. Sadness. Maybe it hadn’t meant as much to him, maybe his depravity was not comforted by me. But that moment, when I held him, when he nuzzled his head into my neck and began crying-

“Wanna drink?” Max rested a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention back from where I was trudging through fleeting, erasing moments.

I ceased my body from flinching, willed away the wetness in my eyes, and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s get a drink.”

Which was a mistake.

One drink turned to appetizers turned to three drinks turned to main courses, 5 drinks, 2 shots, and dessert. Before I knew it, Max and I were cackling over some typo on some Twitter post. I gripped his shirt sleeve and hoped I wouldn’t slide off the bar stool. For the first time in a week, I wasn’t concerning myself with the logistics of sticking around in this public area as long as we had been. I wasn’t even thinking of Oliver. In fact, Max and I were discussing some of our favorite shitposts about American politics. My mind was far away from dumb Brits and idiotic Europeans.

Of course, the world had a very funny way of spitting in my face.

Adam, Cyrus, and- low and behold- Oliver came strolling into the bar right when Max and I finished ordering another drink. I felt a little sick, watching as they neared us. Oliver wasn’t paying attention. He never did. His head, sunken into his hoodie, hands shoved in his pockets. He moved like the Grim Reaper. I wondered if he had come to take my soul away.

Adam and Cyrus seemed…on edge. They noticed Max and I only after they’d made it halfway across the room. Adam hesitated on his next step, catching my eye, worriedly glancing between me and Oliver.

Max was aware, at this point. He cut himself off mid sentence, swiping a hand across his lips. “Shit,” he mumbled to himself. “Daisy…let’s go.”

His fingers brushed through mine in a desperate grasp to pull me along with him, towards the door. I was drunk. I was not thinking. I was hysterical, sad, heartbroken, angry. I tugged my hand away, instead flipping into the air to wave and cheerfully catch the group’s full attention.

“Cy! Adam!” I couldn’t quite catch his name on my tongue. I thought I might puke. “Hey, girl!”

Oliver looked up at the sound of voice. He stopped, but three feet from our little round table. The light, dim from the overhead lamps and LED strips behind the counter, caught the round pupils in his eyes. I watched as he blinked once, twice. Blue.

“Oliver!” There it was.

He met my eye. The corners of his lids wilted, like the petals of a flower, aged, saddened. Drops of rain dropping them in weight. Max looked between the two of us. Cyrus busied himself with buying a drink. Adam slouched in the awkward, pregnant air. Oliver ignored me, moved around our group to sit as far away as possible.

I clenched my jaw. Rage. Utter, pure anger. How dare he deny me even now? The fact that he had not come to my door in the past few days, on his knees, begging for my forgiveness- I was seething. And, now, he goes back to his old tricks. Pretending like I don’t exist.

I turned to Max, who was bracing for impact. His hands were wary, held up near me as if to catch my fall. I shrugged, smiled cheekily, wrinkled my nose. I bumped Adam’s shoulder with mine and declared, “Shots on me?”

He continued his smug slump in the bar stool for the next hour. Adam, Cyrus, Max, and I hung like the old pals we were, cracking jokes, swapping stories like we were surrounding a campfire. I glanced at Oliver every once in a while, hoping to accidentally make eye contact like we used to. He stared down at his phone or his glass. I was surprised the device worked considering he’d fucking forgotten my contact existed or something.

Ugh.

What a fucking ass hole.

Adam asked me a question, pulling my attention back in. “Are you excited for Germany?”

Oh. I’d almost forgotten all about this little plot. I knew that if I spoke loud enough, Oliver would hear. He’d react. I could almost hear it, the little hitch in his breath. The tickle in his throat. The flit of his tongue across his lips, the patter of his holey heart.

I felt my own chest jitter with the excitement, the want of a reaction I needed from him. The shock. The idea that I would be an ocean away from him. No longer at an arm’s length.

I turned towards Adam and rested my chin on my fist. I frowned, almost playfully, “Ugh, I hate having to tell you guys like this!”

Cyrus slowly lowered his glass from his lips, having been mid-drink, “What’s up?”

“I’m going home,” my brows furrowed in a naive look. Adam and Cyrus’ chins dropped a sliver. I pouted my lip, “Stop! I know! I’m so sad!”

I wanted to wait until the conversation was over to look down the bar, to see if even a fragment of what I was saying had affected him. But, I didn’t need to wait. Oliver had flinched. He literally flinched.

“Yeah, me, too,” Adam touched my hand. “Why so soon? I thought you were staying through August?”

“I was planning on it, but…they offered me a better position at the clinic I work at. I have to get home to start training,” I continued, a satisfied smirk teasing my mouth.

Cyrus lifted his glass, “Well, there’s nothing to be sad about, then! To your new job.”

“I’ll cheers to that,” the smirk slipped into a genuine smile. I really would miss these guys, but my drunken, stupid mind wasn’t thinking about that. I wanted more from Oliver. I wanted a white flag or a look or a…fuck, I wanted him.

I pushed, “I’ll really miss you guys. Max, with your corny-ass pick-up lines, Adam’s mom vibes, Cy’s ability to knock back more drinks than fucking- I don’t know, Spider-man, and not get drunk? Shit’s insane.”

I drank in the laughter for a moment, eyes lingering down the bar to Oliver. Then, I added a name to my list and narrowed my gaze, “Oliver,” he wouldn’t look. “With your need to ignore me in every room we’re in. I’ll really miss your cold fucking shoulder.”

Any laughter that may have hung onto our past moment faded. I heard Max take a sharp breath in through his teeth. Adam pressed his lips together. Cyrus looked over his shoulder at their friend. I didn’t know if he really knew, but he had to understand just a little bit. The vibes were always there. We thought we were sneaky, but we were so sickly up each other’s asses. We’d even run into Cyrus and Adam in the hallway that one time. I guess we were all really good at being hopefully fucking stupid and blind.

I leaned on my palm and stared that man down. I watched as he kept his chin, pointed ahead, like he was playing brave in the situation. His Adam's apple bobbed. Oliver clutched his glass, swung it back, slugged the liquid down. Slammed it back on the counter. Then, he stood up, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and threw a wad of bills onto the bar. He adjusted his hoodie and left.

I was dizzy. I stuttered back a step. Max touched my wrist, murmuring something or the other about heading back upstairs. Telling me I was too drunk.

I felt slow, felt dizzy, felt scared, felt angry, felt sad. I felt so sad. I felt so angry and so sad and…

And, my eyebrows furrowed in anger, the shock erasing itself from my frame. I took a deep, drunken breath and followed his trail. Fast. Legs pumping, arms swinging at my sides.

He was at the elevator, looking down at his shoes. I couldn’t get his name out. I think if I did the tears were going to fall out, The sobs were going to ricochet through my whole body and knock me over and kill me and I’d die and I’d never get to see that dumb asses blue eyes any more. Ever again. I wanted to see his blue eyes again. I wanted him to look at me and see me for what he sees me as. I wanted him to touch my hip and wring my neck and tell me I was the only one he wanted. I’d take it. One more time, then he could go back to her. I just wanted a goodbye.

He was stepping into the elevator. The doors were closing. I jammed a hand between and he flinched, again.

I stepped in just as the doors began to shut again. His eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them. He was frozen. Frowning. He looked…sad.

I almost reached a hand out, almost caressed his cheek and pulled him into me. But, I didn’t. Instead, I said (yelled?), “What the fuck is your problem?”

He stammered, “Wha-what?”

I struggled to repeat myself. I needed to cry. It was going to open. But, for another moment, the anger took over, “You fucking heard me. What is your problem, Oliver? What the fuck did I do to deserve this kind of shit? I don’t wanna hear more sad excuses about your fucking mental health and your-your fucking anxiety. God, I- I fucking…I don’t even k- you fucking ignored me back there! I looked right at you and I said your name and I smiled at you and…I’ve been so nice to you. I’ve been nice to you all summer and you treat me like a piece of fucking shit. God, I’ve…I’ve told you so much. I told you about my mom and…and you laid there and you told me all this bullshit about how much you liked me! And then you…youre a fucking-”

I cut myself off, out of breath. I was sweating a little bit. I think I had spit a few times. And I paced the elevator so much that I was flush against the wall. I leaned my shoulders back against the cool metal, wringing my hands, tugging at my hair.

He didn’t say anything. I breathed, hard, I thought, long. I kept thinking, and I kept getting angrier. I turned back to him, rearing up again. I had more to say, I just, I just needed to get some more concise- more thoughtful thoughts, right, exactly. Yes. I can…

“And who the fuck is F-”

“Daisy.”

There it was, my name. It was my name, soft and angelic, and holy. And a moment on his lips that he carved out of time and held a space for, for me to hear.

I stopped. I felt nothing for a moment. I looked at him and he was already waiting to see my eyes. My bottom lip wobbled.

“You’re obviously upset. And, drunk. Why don’t we talk about this in the morning? We can both get some rest.” He was always so good at two very distinct things: pushing stuff (people) aside and speaking to me in a way that felt like a cloud was wrapping itself around me. Like the cloud wanted me to lay in its arm and would coo me to sleep. Like I was safe and loved and-

Loved.

He made me feel loved.

I straightened up a bit at the thought. I pointed an accusatory finger at him, “Who the fuck is Fiona? What the fuck was that all about? Oliver, I’m not going to stand here and beg for you to love me. Or beg for you to come back to me. I just want a goddamn apology. For wasting my time, for playing with my fucking heart. For stringing me along. You knew-”

The tears came. Perfect timing. “You fucking know that I love you. You have known for a very long time. And you are an idiotic fool if you still don’t believe it. But I am not going to play this game with you. I told you that already and now I seriously mean it. I broke my back this summer to make sure that I was who you wanted me to be. So I was cool and chill and could take as much space as you wanted me to. I went with everything you asked of me, I was there when you needed a warm body. I comforted you and…and tried to fucking fix you like I knew you wanted me to. But, I am done. I am done with this. I am done-”

My voice cracked. I swiped an angry, shaking hand across my face. Vision blurred. “I am done with you. This is ridiculous. I don’t know if you meant to, but you have manipulated this situation so that you have been the one benefiting. I’m tired of letting you think you’re some broken, sad puppy dog on the side of the road that needs to be taken care of. Grow the fuck up. And, now I find out that there’s some other woman? That I- I’m the other woman, maybe? That you’re cheating on her with me? That I’m your fucking slut? Side hoe?”

I had paced again, this time, towards him. He was taller than me, but my anger was making me taller. He was almost…cowering. I pointed my finger again, nearly chest to chest with him.

“Fuck you, Oliver. Fuck you and fuck London and fuck your stupid fucking music.”

The doors opened, on our floor. I walked out, but turned to face him before he was really gone from me. I wanted to see his eyes one last time.

He was crying. I popped an arm into the door again, buying myself more time to kick him while he was down. I thought this would bring me closure. I thought I’d feel better if he knew, truly knew, the entirety. Every thought. Every hurt I felt.

“You asked me at the beginning of the summer what I was searching for. I thought that it was you. And I thought that I had found you.”

I shook my head sadly. The doorbell on the elevator rang. I stepped back, “I was right. There is no deeper meaning. Goodbye, Oliver.”

I stood there for a second, as though I could still see his blue eyes, boring through the metal doors.

Then, I sludged my way to my hotel room. I opened the door, shoulders slumped, body aching. I knew my makeup was smeared all over my face. My hair was wrecked. I couldn’t stop sniffling or whimpering. I walked into the room.

Sam sat up in his bed. Ronnie was beside him. I barely made it two more steps before Sam caught me in his arms.

–

The sky was gray. The weather in Europe usually was, especially up here on this side of the continent. I wasn’t surprised when, on our drive to the airport, it started spitting rain. I shivered underneath the cover of my hoodie, yet walked slowly through the entrance.

I remember when I had first dropped down in London, wide-eyed, hopeful. I think it had been raining then, too. But, I hadn’t cared. Come to think of it, it was raining pretty much everyday we had been in London.

Oliver was right about a couple things.

Back then, just three months ago, I hadn’t cared about the sun’s shadow curving from behind the clouds, nor did I mind that it was usually quite chilly outside. Now, I felt anger, annoyance at the weather, at the people, at the world.

At him. The stupid weight of my suitcase. The drag in my step. The wetness of my clothes and the chill of the wind.

I felt older, in the worst way. I was a different age, considering my birthday had passed while I’d been here. But, I felt old in a way that was draining. I felt like I had wasted so much time, energy, and all I had left were weary bones and sadness. Just how much I had left, I didn’t know. But I did know that as soon as I got back home, I would be rotting in my bed for a day or two.

Sam, Max, and Ronnie came to the airport early with me. My flight time had been pulled forward by an hour, so I needed to get here sooner than I thought. I wasn’t complaining, though. I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of the hotel. Out of here. Out of London.

I hurried the process of packing my last few things. Stuffed my breakfast down my throat. Impatiently waited in the taxi, knee bouncing, as Sam and Max loaded the trunk with all of our things. Ronnie slid in beside me and became the first reason that I cried that day.

She reared a look over her shoulder, out the back window, to check on Max and Sam. Then, with an awkward sigh, she turned her knees towards me, “Peaches?”

I glanced up from my lap and the bounce of my knee slowed, “Yeah?”

Upon noticing the somber gaze in her eyes, my brows furrowed. “What’s up?” I added, fully presenting her my full attention.

Ronnie rubbed her nose in a seemingly nervous manner, “I just wanted to say…um, ew. Sorry.”

I softly giggled at her disgust with whatever sentence she was trying to form. “What is it?”

She finally met my eye in a fervently forward manner, “I usually have fun on tour. But this summer was…it was extra special. Getting to know you has been…so cool. I don’t know. I just…I love you, Daisy. You’ve become like a sister to me.”

I couldn’t help but feel the tears well up in my eyes. “Oh, Ronnie,” I sniffled, hugging her around the shoulders.

She pulled me close to her and I swear I heard her sniffle a bit, too. “I’m sorry for not noticing what was happening. I should’ve been there for you more. I got caught up in my own-”

“Don’t even apologize,” I reared back with my reply, “No. It’s nobody’s fault. I’m not even blaming myself for what happened. It was a stupid, weird situation. It was my responsibility to come to you if I needed help. I just needed…I just need to go home now.”

Ronnie smiled a sad, peaceful smile. “I hope I get to see you again soon. I don’t know what I will do without your bright light.”

“Oh, you will. You guys will be in the US soon. Sam said he was gonna drop by. I am positive you’ll be there, too,” I dropped a sly wink.

Ronnie watched my face for a moment, “I mean, of course you know now. But…” she narrowed her eyes, grinning in shocked realisation, “Fucker. You knew the whole time?!”

“Of course I knew the whole time. Sam is-” I snorted, “Sam is not hiding his lovesick, puppy-dog eyes.”

Ronnie’s gaze widened slightly, “I-”

The doors of the taxi popped open as the boys joined us, Max in the back on my other side, Sam in the front. He saw our laughing, secretive expressions in the rearview mirror and turned back. “What are you two doing?”

I brushed my hands across my cheeks to clear whatever tears might’ve been rolling still, then shook my head. “Nothing, Sam-Ham.”

He turned his eyes to Ronnie and tilted his chin forward. She shrugged, a smug smile contorting her once saddened face. Ronnie dropped a wink, “Nothing at all.”

The second person to make me cry was Max. Out of everyone, he was probably my best friend at this point. We had spent so much time together, out drinking, dancing, holed up in my hotel room with trays of room service, movies on the tv. He had been there through one of the most terrifying, exhilarating, strange summers of my life. We were bonded forever, now. I could feel it.

He was helping me check in while Sam and Ronnie headed to drop off our baggage. They were all just planning on hanging for the extra hour until it was time to check in for their flight. I was grateful they all wanted to sacrifice the time for me. To them, though, I knew it was second nature.

Some people made it easy, loving me.

I shook away the thoughts because the attendant was handing me my ticket. She reiterated boarding time, twenty minutes from now, and wished me a safe flight. “Thank you,” I nodded before turning back to Max.

The tall blonde was watching me. I could tell he was on the verge of tears from just the way that his shoulders shrugged forward. It made my heart swell, knowing how much of an impact I had had on them.

He tried to straighten up as I looked him in the eye. Then, he opened his mouth to say something. I threw myself into his arms before he could. Hugging me tight, Max brushed a hand down the back of my head.

“Oh, sweet, lovely angel. I am going to miss you so.”

I didn’t need to hear anything else to start crying into his chest. Max felt the rock of my shoulders and sniffled into my hairline. “Don’t start, love. I won’t be able to stop, myself,” he chuckled shortly.

We stood like that for a few minutes, maybe more, before I stepped back. I rubbed my eyes on the inside of my sweatshirt, knowing my face was flushed and probably swelling. Max touched his fingers to my wrists and gently brushed aside my hands. He took in my visage, so delicately, and sighed. “Can I just say…”

“Oh, no!” I exclaimed through a sob. More tears fell.

Max rubbed my shoulders, “No, no, no, love. It’s okay. No more tears, okay? We’ll be okay. Just…I just want- I need to tell you how important you are. I know you’re going to go home and things are going to start to settle and you’re going to start to think so many things about yourself. You are so easy to love, Daisy. It is like breathing to me, to Ronnie, to Sam, Sasha. It is breathing. And you are worthy of it, too. That’s all. I just…I just needed to tell you, okay?”

I didn’t say anything else. I just whimpered and pulled him in closer to me.

Sam was the worst.

Since the evening before, when I had broken down in his arms and told him, through my blubbering, a short synopsis of what had happened, we hadn’t spoken much. I didn’t know if it was simply because we didn't have enough time. But, I was feeling worse because of it.

I needed my big brother more than anybody else. Sam knew me better than anybody else, even if we hadn’t been around each other as often as we used to. He still understood me. We shared the same blood, for God’s sake.

Yet, as we sat there, in the waiting area of my plane’s gate, he didn’t even look at me. He stared down at the floor, hands folded in his lap. He sat across from Ronnie, Max, and I, making it known that he wanted nothing to do with the conversation. When he first sat there, the aisle a wide gap between us, I furrowed my brows. But, then, Ronnie and Max striked up some topic that I invested myself and my attention into.

It didn’t seem like that big of a deal until they called for me. I stood up, faster than I should’ve, to be honest, and began to gather my things. Phone, bag, jacket, passport. I ran the list over in my head, three times over.

All the while, Sam slowly stood, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and watched his feet as he scuffed his sneakers across the carpeted floor.

I passed my eyes over him for a moment, holding my breath. Surely, my brother would have something to say to me.

He didn’t make a move.

I began walking the short distance to my gate. Before I moved to get in line, though, I turned back to my friends. Max jumped for a hug first, barely allowing me enough time to fully settle back on my heels. I dug my feet into the ground to gain traction as his ginormous body came toppling into my arms. Ronnie joined in the hug yet struggled to toss her arms over Max’s tall frame. He adjusted as we all shared a laugh and tucked her in beside me.

He called over his shoulder, voice muffled, “Get in here, Sam-Ham!”

I heard my brother elicit a laugh. It felt refreshing to hear. Then, I felt the hug grow tighter as he joined in on Max’s other side. We didn’t stay like that for long. It was stuffy and I wasn’t getting much air.

So, I tapped Max’s back and said, “Alright. Let me go.”

I gave individual hugs to everybody, voicing my own grateful, somewhat short, goodbyes.

Then, I turned to my brother. He evaded my eye contact for a moment or two. Then he pulled me in. Tight.

Out of nowhere, “I’m sorry if he ruined your summer.”

Tensing up from the words, the mention of him, I slowly pulled back from Sam’s embrace. He held onto my back, sort of cradling me. The guilt lying in his eyes was far worse than anything I’d ever seen flash across his face. My own gaze softened from the taut expression it had anxiously contorted to.

“What?” I breathily inquired, unsure if I had heard him correctly, saddened that he was obviously carrying so much hurt from my stupid mistakes. “Why? Sam, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know, Daz, I just…” Sam’s arms fell from around me. I missed the warmth as soon as the chill of the vast room settled in around my sweatshirt. He ran a veiny hand across his forehead, “I'm supposed to be there for you. Protect you. And I already suck at the first part.”

“Sam,” I grasped his wrist, slipping his fingers between my hands. “It’s not your fault. It’s…honestly, if my summer was ruined, it was because of my own shitty decisions. Besides, you don’t suck at being there for me. I can’t believe you would even think that!”

I clasped his hand tight between mine, brows furrowed. To hear him blame himself, to hear him look this way…This whole summer, I had spent my time obsessing over somebody who didn’t even want me. I should have paid more attention to my brother, who was part of the reason I was here in the first place.

The farther I got from the start of this journey, literally and figuratively, the blurrier my original dreams became. There was no meaning to find here- only what was already there.

The thought made me lick my lips in nervous realisation.

Sam let out a frustrated, breathy chortle. “Don’t give me so much credit. I’ve been…gone. Running away from home. For so long. Worried about getting out of that apartment and town and away from…from anything that could remind me of her. Remind me of mom. I left you behind in the process.”

The wetness in my eyes began to pour over. “Oh, Sam,” my lips trembled out as I dove back into his arms. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, holding onto him as though an airplane would dive down and pull him away. I needed this. This kind of hug. This moment.

Clarity was nearer than ever before.

“Listen,” I pulled back, “I need you to understand, okay? My summer was not ruined. It wasn’t. This entire experience has been the most amazing, wonderful, awesome, cool time. I got to spend so much time getting to see you, getting to see your world. And, don’t ever blame yourself for getting away. You had to. I see it now- You had to come be a part of this wonderful band, go with them on all of their amazing tours. I see it on your face, Sam. This is what you’re supposed to do, okay? My mistakes are my own. Not yours.”

“I just…” Sam stared at the floor for a moment, tongue quick to go and defend his original claim But he paused and let the information process. “I…I just wish I could punch him in the face or something. What a douche. Dragging you into his mess. I should’ve known, too. The way he treated you- it was so obvious. For that, I am sorry, Daisy. I should’ve said something. Honestly,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I should beat his ass.”

Max and Ronnie, who had been trying to make it appear as though they were not eavesdropping, laughed at the last line. I opened up Sam and I’s moment by taking a step back. I gave them space to join us here. Ronnie clasped Sam’s hand and rested her head on his shoulder, “As funny as that would be, he is still your boss. And your bandmate,” she nodded to Max.

The tall blond rolled his eyes with a scoff, “Don’t worry. I’ll try to keep it civil.”

It was my turn to scold. I punched Max in the shoulder to gain his eye contact, “Don’t try. Just do it. He’s not a bad person. He just…sucks. A little bit.”

Talking about him, living in the truth of the situation, confronting all the dark realizations- it was a heavy weight to bear. I felt my shoulder slinking forward, as though I were Atlas with the dark, cloudy sky above me. Though I didn’t want to be rid of these three, I needed to be gone already. I needed to go before it all came crashing down again. I didn’t want anybody else to see me cry again. It was…embarrassing, to say the least.

So, I allowed one last hug from each of them and then turned towards my gate. I boarded the plane, mindlessly, going through all of the motions. Like I was used to leaving, like I was good at it. Like I was strong. But, I felt weak. I felt heavy and sad and angry and…

The city was gray. I remember it being sunny, summer-weather, though there had been a chill in the air. He always said it was. Maybe it always had been and I was…crazy. Wide-eyed. Desperate or naive or whatever.

But it was clear as day now, how dreary it looked from this airplane window. The wind whipped at the airline workers, shuffling luggage to their places, green vests billowing up. My breath fogged at the window which narrowed my pointed gaze. It seemed the plane was being pumped full of heat. I hadn’t realized it was that cold outside.

I guess fall was coming.

“Ladies and gentleman, this is your reminder to place your devices on airplane mode. We are approaching take-off,” a thick, European accent declared over the PA system.

I wrestled to retrieve my phone from my bookbag, which was squished in between my feet. When I was able to lift it towards me, the screen lit up. There was a buzz from the device that vibrated my hand then the appearance of a text message.

Oliver: Daisy, I need to tell you…

The message cut itself off, only the sneakpeek visible due to the system settings I had on my device.

It was ominous, though, like it had chosen to cut itself off there.

The tail end of that message could be- anything.

Daisy, I need to tell you…you’re a dumb bitch?

…I fucking hate you.

I love you?

Please, stay?

I don’t think I wanted to know.

My thumb hesitated over the screen, barely gracing it’s smooth glass. If I tapped on the message, if I saw what he said…would it change things?

Would it make me hate him even more?

Would it make me want to stay?

I didn’t want anything else to make my decisions anymore. I wanted to make my own choices, based on my own actions, thoughts. I was tired of living up to everybody’s image of me. If that was all I learned this summer, to be true to what I wanted, to be true to myself…then maybe this summer wasn’t so bad after all.

Maybe there had been something to find- maybe that something was me.

The shaking in my hands must’ve made the screen react to a ghost of my fingerprint. The option to scan my face ID came as soon as a flight attendant passed by my section, a bright smile on their face.

“Hi, friend! Did you put your device on airplane mode?” They asked with a slight gesture towards my phone.

I glanced back at the screen as she pointed. The message was open. That’s where it had ended, what Oliver had sent to me. “I need to tell you something.” But, he was still typing, still coming up with words to say.

My hands moved quickly, sliding down the menu and thumbing the airplane option. If he were still typing, I couldn’t see it anymore.

And any messages he may try to send would go green, undelivered, lost.

Forgotten, in the skies, somewhere between London and Germany, during the beginning of a cold, cold autumn.

[sikyulioness]

I don't know if you can make head canons but can you make one for Jinwoo as a yandere 🥲

✨Hope you like it✨

_______. ._______

Bound by Shadows

Jinwoo wasn’t the type to believe in fate. Destiny was just an excuse for weak men to justify their failures. He had spent years clawing his way to the top, turning his own death sentence into power, and he refused to let anything or anyone distract him from that.

And yet, the first time he saw you, something shifted.

It was supposed to be an ordinary evening. He had just finished eliminating a gate’s remaining threats, his shadows slithering back into place as he stepped into the quiet city streets. The weight of his responsibilities loomed over him, as always, yet for the first time in a long while, his mind went utterly blank.

Because there you were.

You weren’t extraordinary. There was no overwhelming presence, no aura that demanded attention. If anything, you were unassuming, lost in your own world as you walked past. But that was what made Jinwoo stop.

The world was a cruel, dangerous place, and yet you moved through it like you had never known fear. How? How had you managed to exist so quietly, so untouched by the darkness he had come to know so well?

His shadows stirred beneath him, curious, waiting.

He told himself he would forget you by the time he turned the corner.

But he didn’t.

—

At first, it was nothing. Just coincidence. He convinced himself that running into you again was a matter of probability, nothing more. Seoul wasn’t small, but it wasn’t impossible for two people to frequent the same places.

Still, he couldn’t ignore the way his eyes always found you in a crowd. The way his feet seemed to move on their own, trailing a little too close when he should have been walking the other way.

The shadows made it worse. They were drawn to you, following at a distance even when Jinwoo willed them not to. It was unnatural, the way they curled in anticipation whenever you were near, the way they whispered in his ear that you were something important.

It wasn’t until he noticed the changes that he realized just how far he had already fallen.

The obstacles in your life began disappearing before you even noticed them. A late-night stalker who had been watching you for weeks? Gone before he could take a step too close. That café you always visited, where the barista had been a little too friendly for Jinwoo’s liking? Suddenly under new management. The landlord who was thinking of raising your rent? Changed his mind overnight.

Jinwoo made sure your world remained untouched. Unbothered. Safe.

He was careful, always careful, never letting you see the way he stood just out of your line of sight. The way he listened to your voice from the shadows, memorizing your habits, your routines, the way your lips curled when you were deep in thought.

He thought it would be enough.

It wasn’t.

—

The gifts started appearing before he could stop himself.

A necklace in your favorite color, left on your doorstep with no note. A coat just thick enough to keep you warm when winter rolled in, arriving at your door as if it had been a mistaken delivery. Things you never mentioned wanting, yet somehow needed.

And when he saw you wear them—saw the way you smiled as you ran your fingers over the delicate chain, saw the way you pulled the coat tighter around yourself on cold mornings—something in him settled.

As if this was always how it was supposed to be.

—

Jinwoo never meant to frighten you.

He never thought you would notice, never thought you would realize the way the world bent around you in ways it never did before.

But then you tried to leave.

He heard it in your voice before you even made the decision, the way your words wavered as you told a friend you were thinking of moving. A fresh start, you said. A new beginning.

The shadows lashed violently beneath his feet.

No.

You didn’t need a new beginning. You didn’t need to run from something that had never been a threat.

You were his.

And nothing—not distance, not fear, not even your own resistance—would ever change that.

So when you opened your eyes one morning and found yourself somewhere unfamiliar, wrapped in warmth that was not your own, Jinwoo was already there.

Waiting. Watching.

Smiling.

"Good morning," he murmured, his voice smooth, affectionate. Final.

Because now, finally, he didn’t have to watch from afar anymore.

---

The End

[pinkkop]

For the past while I've been wanting to start doing weekly post about the QL's I'm watching and the new year is the perfect opportunity to start doing just that!

It'll be a place where i can share my thoughts on the BL and GL shows while I'm watching them and leave my final thoughts as well.

This week I've just left the shows in alphabetical order but I'll probably start sorting them from most to least liked next week. Also I hope this post doesn't feel too long since I don't know where I'd place a cut 😊

Let me know if there's anything you find confusing or if there's anything I could do better for next week.

QL Recap for Week 1 The 30th of December to 5th of January

🇹🇭 Caged Again Ep. 9 of 10 ----- Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm still enjoying this a lot but it's definitely lost some of its spark. 

🇹🇭 Fourever You Ep. 15 of 16 ---------- Watching on: Gray

I'd completely forgotten that WeTV starts fast-tracking the episodes towards the end so color me surprised when I saw that ep 15 was also available and unsurprisingly I watched it the second I realized. I lost interest in Ter and Hill a couple of episodes ago so I don't pay much attention to them anymore. I am however really enjoying Johan and North. I feel like I haven't seen this kind of pairing before. I'm really enjoying the slow development of North slowly learning who Johan is and opening up to him and then Johan slowly opening up to North as well. I'm not a fan of when characters get unnecessarily jealous of their romantic interest's friends or have a problem with friends being close like when Hill saw a problem with how North and Ter cuddle. On top of this I don't like when a character makes decisions for their romantic interest unless they are small decisions, which meant that I also wasn't a fan of how Hill and Johan fixed the "problem" with Ter and North cuddling. Like who the fuck just moves their boyfriend out of their place and into yours without asking first 🤯. Those two things are the only major gripes I have with this show right now and I mostly just try to ignore them because Johan and North are still hella cute and I love that they are finally officially dating without drawing it out unnecessarily (looking at you, Hill and Ter).

🇯🇵 Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu Ep. 9 of 10 ----- Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm not sure where they are heading and what Hirukawa is thinking with how he is acting but I've really enjoyed this show as a whole so I trust that it'll all make sense next week with the final episode.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners Ep. 11 of 24 ------- Watching on: Youtube

I really like Gun and Yotha as a pairing and I'm definitely invested in this show but it's not at the top of the list.

🇹🇭 Petrichor Ep. 6 of 10 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

So many reveals this episode! This show is not quite the same level of brain-rot as Spare Me Your Mercy was for me but I'm having a good time and I'm invested in the story.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw Ep. 2 of 8 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

The first episode was promising and I'm always a fan of characters having sexual fantasies because it gives a good insight into the character's feelings, both because of the fantasy but also with how they react to it. Episode two made me feel more like I was watching a pulp drama and I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of the over the top acting of some of the characters which seems like those characters will keep being a part of the story going forward. It's just not a type of humor I find funny but so far it's not enough for me to drop this show. The trailer was steeped in it though so who knows how much of the show will focus on that kind of humor.

🇹🇼 See Your Love Ep. 12 of 13 ---- Watching on: Gagaoolala

These two are just the cutest and I'm enjoying them so much. The small touches and the casual kisses are so good and it makes them feel really real and like a good match in a way that not all BL couples do when we get to experience them after they get together. I love how Shaopeng's deafness is still a part of the plot but not in the sense that it needs to be fixed, it's just a natural part of him and it bleeds into all aspects of the plot in a really great way. Honestly this is just such a solid show! 10/10 would recommend. I'd just like for the episodes to be just 5-10 min longer so I could get more of the second couple.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat Ep. 4 of 13 -------- Watching on: Youtube

I'm still absolutely on board with this show. The plot of getting the band together feels a little simple but I really don't mind it because it works well with Thame and Poo getting to know each other. After this episode I wonder whether Jun actually believed what he said about Thame to Po. Like does he really believe that Thame isn't interested in Po or is he just trying to avoid them getting together? Either way it was so delicious to see Po start doubting himself but then Thame once again showing loudly with his actions that he is so interested in Po and that Po is a priority to him. Like who talks on the phone for hours, falls asleep still on the call and then just keeps being on the phone when you wake up again and then pretty much serenades the other person in the morning 🤯 Absolute bonkers behavior from Thame and I'm so here for it. This actually makes me wonder how self-aware Thame actually is? Does he know that he has feelings for Po? 

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World Ep. 1 of 10 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

This is definitely a show where I needed to lower my expectations before watching the first episode because I've really been looking forward to this and I'd much rather set my expectations low and be happily surprise. I really liked the production quality of this show after the first episode and Boss and Noeul are doing really well. I'm definitely still excited about this show even if the first ep left me a little confused but I think that's to be expected when a show introduces concepts like parallel universes so I'm expecting that it'll make sense with time.

🇹🇭 Your Sky Ep. 8 of 12 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

These two are so damn cute! This show just keeps being this little happy bubble for me. I'm glad they didn't drag out the misunderstanding so now they just gotta figure out how to bone. I like Real and Hia a lot as well but we don't really get enough of them for me to get completely invested. So far I'm not entirely sure what Hia thinks and feels because we've only really seen glimpses of Real realizing he has feelings for Hia. I'm guessing we'll get more of them while Fah and Rak figure out how to be a couple. 

That's it for this week!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)