#so I feel like I am stuck here
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feeling sooooo stressed out 🙃
#I hate this so much#writing my dissertation is quite literally ruining me#I can’t get anything done#and I’m punishing myself by not letting myself do anything else#I hate being at home so much#but I have so much anxiety about going to my flat at uni#so I feel like I am stuck here#and there isn’t even a proper desk here so I just have to lie in bed all day staring at a blank word document on my laptop#and the closest cafe is 30 minutes away and I can’t drive#I would need to take 3 buses and it would take almost 1 hour to get there#yes I live in the middle of no where :)#these are such first world problems but I feel sooo stuck right now and I don’t know what to do
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Agust D → D-2 → D-DAY
#yoongi#bts#agust d#userbangtan#btsgif#suga#min yoongi#btsedit#myedit#mygifs#it took me so many hours to plan and make this lmao#BUT I LOVVED IT#cant wait for the next mv bc it is obvious that yoongi saw someone at the end of the mv#and i think agust d stuck in a loop and he will murder his past self all the time dsakljsdkdj#idk why i think of that it just that when he pointed the gun at fbi agust d that guy smirked probably because he did the same to the#previous agust d who also smirked while going down the stairs before he ordered the others to kill him#like i feel when he saw yoongi he was like damn karma#dslkkdsad#the gifs are in no order of the mvs they are in order of color KINDAAA also i didnt add people pt2 for a reason i am lazy to type it here he
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they are friends :^)
#i feel like this duo in particular doesnt get enough attention so here i am. giving them attention#i have. a lot of thoughts about them. very few are coherent#i tried to put a very specific emotion into this piece that i dont really know how to explain so. i hope it comes across???#also the framing is really bad i know but it looked weird when i cropped it.#sorry. we're stuck with it being off centre#my artwork#jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi pd#prime defenders#jrwi vyncent#jrwi dakota#vyncent sol#dakota cole#jrwi prime defenders#prime defenders fanart#just roll with it#just roll with it fanart
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light of kshahrewar ✨
#genshin impact#kaveh#genshin kaveh#genshin fanart#stuff and things#userpharawee#sorry for the absence and lack of. well. anything really#I swear I'm still here it's just#I am once again stuck in capitalist Hell over the summer so my creativity is being drained one customer at a time#and oh my god there are sO MANY CUSTOMERS#it's only been a few weeks and I'm already utterly exhausted lol#but I finally managed to get some doodling in after not drawing for what feels like forever T_T#it's not much and it's not what most of you are here for but it is what it is
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me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH
#i am so fucking tired of being ill#is it not enough that i have a chronic illness and chronic pain condition all the time anyway???#ughhh#i'm grateful because i at least managed to get to (most) of the gigs i wanted to this month#but other than that i've literally just been stuck in bed unable to do anything and my brain is starting to melt with boredom#idk how i can still not be well enough to write or absorb myself in reading a good book or fanfic or even be on here properly#but my brain feels like MUSH and it's so frustrating#i miss my little four walls men so much 😩#i miss being able to see the sky and see my friends and taste the food i eat#sorry i know i'm complaining#i just needed to vent for a moment#it's been such a shit few months anyway and i was already in a really rough spot with my mental/physical health for a number of reasons#so this just feels like the last straw#universe please let me feel a little better soon#i have things i want to do and people i want to talk to and fics i want to write#oh how nice it must be to live in a body that isn't constantly impaired in some way 🤦♀️#lulu posts
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#since I did a fast eloise only sketch yesterday#here are some Sebastians😇🙏#he got tired after sneaking into the restricted section and…I feel like classes are kind of boring to him#I’m almost done with the most wretched book ever🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#it’s so terrible and depressing I am just hate-finishing it at this point#it just solidifies in me that I was just meant to read old books over and over again lol#like…this book is SUPPOSEDLY really popular and I DONT GET IT !!!#I also HATED The Overstory which is also popular…it’s weird though#bc the first part was genuinely one of my favorite things I’ve ever read#so i stuck with the rest in the hope it would keep that momentum and it…didn’t…#oh well I just keep reading and rereading novels I already know I’ll like😇😇 and avoid this author forever and ever 🙏#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart
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NAHO, toa Mangai of water (4/11)
Running along the cliffside waterways of Ga-Metru, toa Naho's work is never done, no matter how many matoran she saves. A distant--if watchful--hero, Naho has become a bit of a folk legend in the waning years of the Mangai's vigil. Striking at the opportune time, she is a surprise to allies and enemies alike, disappearing back into the mist once her job is done.
She wears the great Huna and wields a High-Pressure Launcher, concentrated blasts of water aiding in her acrobatic traversal of the city.
#I think back at the time I did the three previous Mangai in like. Less than a week then got stuck on Naho for a month#And while I still feel a little shmeep shmorp about the yellow#I am sold at this point#All headcannon characters from here on out#So that will be fun#Bionicle#Toa#Toa Naho#Naho#Toa Mangai#Mangai#LEGO#Metru-nui#MNOG#Mata nui online game#Art#My art
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okay .. take two !!!
+ bonus doodles
#i !!!! like this design a lot more#kinda worried abt the cloak …. but !!!#what do we think ………..#oh. wait. also#-> tried to combine the v shape and the cloak#figured out how to incorporate the bottom half wing like design#they have tails !!! they like to sometimes pretend it’s like a bird#(loop running around bc swish swish flowy) (bats their eyelash) am i not the prettiest bird youve ever seen#also while the leg straps for knife was cool#i feel they. while it wouldd be easier to maybe access#anyone could take it !!! the way it was !!!!#into the holster and belt you go#OH and and#the little chains and pendants dangling from the belt ?? those are like keychains from all the things that remind them of their journeys#OH and they’re wearing. kind of leggings ??? for better agility#im trying not to overdo everything. so that it’s not so cluttered#but that. also Is this point. as fun as this outfit is most of it is just loop taking clothing items they first see and running off#“okay rogue time. i can do rogue.” tthey are a mess <3#they’re kinda in that stage of. between siffrin and figuring out who They are now after all of that. clinging slightly while also changing#(they absolutely did steal those little pins from sif btw <3) they thought it would be funny to see how long it took for him to notice. and#then it just stuck.#“why is loop okay with the cloak now?” bc !!! its not a one to one. and also. sif here found loop at possibly the worst spiral ever#it Would have brought equal comfort as it did discomfort if they wore both the hat and cloak then. and (their words) it would be much easier#to tell which siffrin was who !!!!!!!!!!#agh .. okay#lantern’s art corner#isat spoilers#isat
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Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ♥ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows ♪#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
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where did the year go lol
#miu draws#art summary#started off the year on an lnds high and that died down but then got on a mrs high instead#i was /insanely/ motivated to draw this year SDFKGH#like i had times where i was art blocked too but also i can't believe the pieces i drew this year#i even made a whole azz tegaki video#wild#plus starting watercolor n those traditional drawings too#ALSO JUN NUIS....#also the difference between the first half and second half of my summary is so funny#tho honestly for as long as i've listened to their music i didn't expect to draw mrs fanart mainly bc drawing irl ppl is just Not my forte#but idk when other fans' fanart of them started showin up on my fyp on twt i was just like oh...love that.....wanna try th........#anyways as always thanks to everyone who stuck around and also new ppl who followed hope you enjoy the stay#i honestly for the most part gave up on posting art on main twt regardless of all the bs n whatnot there (tho i am on priv n mrs side twt)#i have a bsky too but deactivated it atm bc the more ppl that moved there the more it was just becoming main twt to me mentally#i just feel most comfortable posting art here than anywhere else lol
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i really hate gettign so frustrated i get extremely irritatable and so full of ... energy of just wanting to cry and punch and kick something, and for some reason i also get incredibly itchy but in a way that it wont stop and i just want to scratch my skin off, like theres a little guy running over my skin and stabbing me with a needle in the same spots over and over, every little normal thing can send me over the edge, even thigns like typos, today it was cutting a little avocado that wasnt quite ripe yet, so i wasted it, and annoying ads on TV-
been trying for ages to draw literally anything, been trying to work on a new design sheet for links shiekah arm and i thought maybe i should ditch the sketch part since all things seemed to get stuck on it, but no, i dont know what it is, been trying to just get some of those shiekah squiggly design lines on it and its been three days without anything looking even remotely like i want and its so goddamn stupid, its just some wiggly lines!!!!! and now i am stting here in tears bc im so angry and frustrated about it, all this time wasting over and over and over im so tired of it, i dont want to not draw either though, i have wasted hours doing shitty grind quests in slime rancher, i have been helping with baking cookies, been folding little paper stars, all things i hoped would help me get out of this but it wont work, i am at my wits end
crying and kicking stuff so hard it hurts you cant be the right way to cope with this but all other things that have worked in the past arent doing that...................
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i know these shitty vent posts are annoying#guess how annoying it is to be stuck in my body with my brain not being able to do literally anything#feeling more and more like you just want to explode#i have so mayn things i want and plan to do#but i cant even get one design done#WHY??????????? WHY WHY WHY?????????????#i have all the shit in my head and it seems so fun and then i try it and just want to gnaw my arm off#its been similar like this so goddamn long#what am i supposed to do when the only thing i truly enjoy and want to do sends me over the edge like that#art is my only lifeline to my sanity .......#even pondering if any of the meds i have here could somehow help me but i only really have .. painkillers caffein or alcohol#but the first i dont take for nothing - second im sensitive towards and it hasnt helped and lastly .... i dont like alcohol unless its-#-like a single chocolate thing with a miniscule amount of it#i honestly dont know what im goood at anymore#it was environment once- but that is long past#now i thought its character design but that went straight into the sun now too#no sketches no painting not even the shittiest doodle#i just want this to stop
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my brother really made me spend my new years doin this cause he wanted the moon knight skin. he doesnt even care about my pookie. he doesnt even know thats my pookie (even though the version of him in this game sucks i hate it)
kidnapping me to feed your cosmetic hoarding is evil :[ at least he'll get the skin now and leave me alone (you just have to reach gold rank)
#god. ranked in this game. nightmare. nightmare. took me 65 games to get to GOLD........ worst dps players i have ever seen#what you see here is me locking tf in with luna snow. OP character.#its the only way i could carry hard enough#mantis is better if your other healer is competent cause you can go crazy on the dps like zen in OW#but usually theyre not. so luna is better in most cases#just heal bot and pray i am better than the enemy flankers cause the only person looking out for me is my brother on tank#worked pretty well#but holy shit. back when i played OW ranked i was gold-plat without any real issue#i dont like to sweat. this game. Damn it makes you sweat#youre sweating in bronze cause EVERYONE starts at the same rank. bad system.#silver III was the worst though. we were stuck there for days. silver II-gold III went smooth when i started insta locking luna#im not a particularly good player its just that i can aim slightly better than flankers expect lol get frozen idiot#i was trying to heal bot as cloak and dagger but the dps are just soo ass i switched to mantis to get to silver#then mantis wasnt enough healing and i went luna#i hate playing tank in this game. really boring.#which is sad cause in OW i only played tank/heal but i feel like i can only play 3 chars in this game#that being luna mantis and rocket (and hes not great. but the rez is good and enemies at these ranks struggle to aim at him)#adam is the closest to my OW main (zen) but its too dangerous to play him unless your dps actually have brains#anyway. goodnight
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swapinverse posting rn,,,,, (WAKE UP UNTITLED29876011111 MY LISTENER I KNOW YOU GET NO SLEEP BUT SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS PSPSPSPSPPSPSPS)
anyways currently reworking savior and godDAMN is he soooo,,,,,,, my boy i love my boy. why does he literally combine the melancholic vibe of dust and then whatever the hell killer's got going on in his lore. hes literally so sad and emo and depressed but also has a perfect amount of i-dont-care-ness and built in commands,,,,,, hes so PERFECT my vision of this modernized savior is soooo amazing,,,,, none of you will be ready trust (hyping myself up over nothing)
i think its because i'm finally starting to THINK about my character's,,,,,,, characters?????? like before they were just concepts. i think. like just IDEAS and now especially for savior i'm starting to actually analyze his character and see where things go from there,,,, its sooooo fun i love this sosososos much,,,, now let's see if this streak of analysis will carry on for the 2 i still need to finish finish (crash and vice.SER my glitchy fuckass sons)
google what is the symbolic representation for ribbons and ribbon dancing and silk acrobatics. google ANSWER ME
#that last paragraph is because crash does those :3 he thinks hes so elegant SMH#siphon's supposed to be corrupted nm!ink but then i feel i may or may not have made him too NICE????#like what other traits am i supposed to add to make hin more like corrupted nm aside from the fact that he upsets the balance#and ink's already an asshole anyways!!! just that this ink wont be as energetic and just a tad more evil!!!!!#so what if i didnt do any canon research on anybody's origins that wasn't just the mtt SO WHAT OK#LET ME HAVE FUN WITH THESE CHARACTERS I DONT KNOW WITHOUT HAVING TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM#nevermind youre right...... i guess its time to do research on ink and error and CORE frisk and dream and nightmare....... siiiigh#AUAGHHHH I WANNA TALK ABOUT SWAPINVERSE SOOOO BAD#I WANNA BOUNCE IDEAS OFF SOMEONE BC IM KINDA STUCK FOR CRASH AND VICESER#BUT I CAN'T TELL SECRET MTT NATION MEMBER!!!!!!!! WHY NOT?????#BECAUSE I WANNA SEE THEIR RAW REACTION WHEN IT DROPS OFC WITH NO SPOILERS#listen is that sooo bad that i want people to be surprised and interested when it comes out IS IT#at least One person should be surprised and thats ok for me for nos#but unfortunately that DOES leave me with nobody to yap too........ feel so shahshdgsg#i NEED to talk about these characters i'm gonna go feral djdhshshhhhhhhh#swapinverse my beloved swapinverse my beloved maybe actually by this pace i'll finish in the summer of this school year???? who knows#i MUST make it a comic right??? what else can i do aside from make it s comic#or actually an ask blog i have no idea how ill present swapinverse to the world. but i've always had that issue sooooooo#the main story will be a comic......... other stuff people wanna know id asks.......... and then i guess i draw here snd there#oh gooodddd doing all that is going to KILL me but whatever i'm so excited for this project#i've been developing it since like basically freshman year swapinverse is growing with me 🧡🧡🧡🧡#tricule rant
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)
when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.
but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.
in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)
meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.
with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.
FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.
and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.
the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.
i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…
of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."
in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!
at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#persona 3 reload#<- specifically mentions of mechanics. no added story content just tartarus talk#minato arisato#today on lizz life: lizz wakes up THINKING about minato for the NTH time and is compelled to write a tumblr post about it#tartarus in reload is excellent looking and fun but i keep thinking about what i liked about how FES characterizes minato so#here i am... LOL... with my 790 or so word ramble... im so normal about the blue boy#i needed to get my feelings out there somewhere i just could not stop thinking about HIM HE IS IN MY BRAIN 24/7#me playing reload last night like 'minato would not fucking wait for a great clock to make sure that SEES is adequately prepared.'#and yet my sloth brain awaits the great clock... LOL gameplay convenience is not lost on me#i'm stuck in tartarus rn im grinding rubies and stuff trying to get equipment so i can throw hands with elizabeth its going to be fun#im still not done with this game i continue to be haunted by tartarus i fucking love that tower unironically#uh usually id ramble more in tags but. go read my post!! because i like analyzing FES gameplay mechanics!! i am full of passion and love!
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Me rising from the dead after 3 months
#sin speaking#(yo what happened it was january yesterday)#(......H E L L O)#(guess who finally got their elvanse back lmao i feel like ive been trapped in the chalice dungeons for a thousand years)#(if u ever have imposter syndrome about having adhd. boy will missing ur meds make you think twice about that LOL)#(regret to inform you all that i have been violently obsessed with lop since it got patched in february and i replayed it. 8 times. lmao)#(i also regret to inform you that i have another new hunter. tragic. but i am not immune to choir propoganda.)#(good news though! i have some art stuff to post so look 4ward to that i guess lmao)#(SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE SO GRATEFUL TO SEE ANYONE HAS STUCK AROUND i have missed being productive here....soooooo bad lmao)#(im not going to promise too much tho bc lmao god always strikes me down for my hubris but YEAH. HI 😀)
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