#so I could’ve gotten a divorce settlement

[lauryn-order]

Anyway. I have so much anger related to my health and my ex. I found out I have liver problems and have to get a liver scan. And I’m pissed.

My ex used to forcibly intoxicate me. Which, as a kink, hot. As a lifestyle, not.

He’d have me drinking to the point of blacking out regularly. I was regularly hungover. Hungover beyond hungover in an alcohol poisoning kind of way numerous times. I can’t count the number of nights where I’ve had full bottles of liquors or 3-4 bottles of wine in a night.

I wasn’t allowed to tell him no. No was not a word in his vocabulary, as everyone in his life was too afraid to tell him no. I was the only person to ever tell him no and stick to it, but I did it on the rarest of occasions that I deemed the most important because of his over the top reactions to it. If I did tell him no, I was met with screaming, threats of things I REALLY didn’t want, temper tantrums, the silent treatment, slammed doors, revoking of finances, and other abuse.

At first I thought it was fun. Then it just became normal. I chalked it up to my alcoholism, but that’s not the case. Yes, I’m alcoholic in a functional way, but in the almost year since I have been away from him I’ve never drank more than a bottle of wine, I haven’t had a hangover that’s more than a couple hours of nausea or a bad headache, and I haven’t puked once.

I drink maybe 2-3 days a week and usually just a couple cans of something or one or two mixed drinks where I’m not even remotely buzzed afterward. I’ve been tipsy a few times and drunk a couple this past year, but not almost every night like I was forced to be when I was with him. I have full control of myself and my drinking and stop when I need to or want to.

I told my doctor what he did, and she thinks my liver is probably better than it was and is on its way to getting better. But it’s just not fair. He took so much from me and left me with nothing to my name. I have to pay for expensive therapy to deal with the trauma he left me with and now I have to pay for specialists and medical bills for the health issues he caused me. I don’t have the money for this.

He just keeps taking more and more from me, even almost a year later. And after dealing with him and what he put me through for 8 years he doesn’t have to pay me a cent even though it’s 100% his fault that I am broke, in debt, struggling, and starting from scratch.

I’m. Fucking. Livid.

[coco-loco-nut]

loml part 2

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: it’s time for you to finally have some happiness, even if you’ve sworn off drivers

part one masterlist ttpd masterlist

——————

A year after the break up, you are still living in George’s Monaco apartment. You keep to yourself, sticking to a simple routine and avoiding Formula One when you can. You could’ve gotten your own apartment with the divorce settlement and your job salary, but George insisted that you take care of the apartment for him.

George and Carmen were with you every step of the way, helping you pick up the pieces and bringing you back to as close to normal as you can.

“I’m done with drivers, I will never date one ever again,” you tell George one afternoon. George was almost offended but you added on the second half.

You go out for a run like you do every morning before work, and on your way home you stop in a bakery you’ve been eyeing. After placing your coffee and pasty order, you accidentally bump into someone.

“I am so sorry, I- Charles. Hi,” you look at the equally stunned man.

“Hi, how are you doing,” Charles says gently, sounding concerned. That isn’t what you expected out of your ex’s friend.

“Better, how’s, um, how is he?” you ask a little bitterly, internally cringing at the clear discomfort on Charles’s face. His name is called alongside yours, so he picks it up and sets it on a table, silently inviting you to join him, and you do.

“I don’t know. After the whole Kelly thing, I argued with him and we haven’t really talked since,” Charles admits, you look stunned.

“I’m sorry that happened,” you can’t really hide your bitter expression as the thought of Kelly runs through your mind. Not even a month after you separated, Max was off playing happy family with his new girlfriend. Your divorce wasn’t even legalized yet.

“I’m not. He lost someone incredible just because he wasn’t willing to put in the work for a good and healthy relationship,” Charles looks you in the eyes. You finish your pastry and process his words and his underlying meaning.

“Charles, everything is still so fresh, I don’t know,” you look out at the streets. You couldn’t deny he was attractive, but you didn’t want to reinvolve yourself with Formula One.

“One date, we can take it as slow as you want to. I know it must be hard, but you deserve to be happy,” Charles reaches out and touches your hand gently.

“I have to get to work. You should have my number, Charles,” you softly smile, leaving the cafe. Charles lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Naturally, he asked George for permission first. He knew George was acting as your overprotective brother, and George knew you better than anyone at the moment. Despite you swearing off drivers, George felt that Charles might be what you need.

The first date goes well, and so does the second, and the third. Charles prioritized privacy, and you were grateful. He shows up to your door for the fourth with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, ones that Max always forgot to get. He always gave you chrysanthemums, fitting that he would choose a funeral flower seeing as how he killed the relationship.

“Cheri, are you okay?” Charles asks, seeing you tear up a little.

“Max never did this, and when he did they were always the wrong flowers,” you shake you head slightly, fending off the anger and sadness.

“Well, if he wanted to treat your right, he would. I want to treat you right,” Charles presses a kiss to your head. You invite him in while you find a vase to put the flowers in.

“I want that,” you tell him, his hands find yours.

“Be my girlfriend?” Charles asks, you nod happily.

“There is this restaurant that I’ve been wanting to try, down the street. Maybe I can take my boyfriend there,” you smile, heart racing.

“Lead the way, mon cœur,” Charles tells you. You lock the apartment behind you and take his hand as you lead him down the street to a restaurant that opened a couple months ago. The two of you are so caught up in each other, you don’t notice the table across the restaurant.

Max watches you walk into the restaurant, hand in hand with Charles - the guy who used to be one of his closest friends. You look stunning, and happier than you were the last few months before the separation. Of course Max saw you for divorce meetings, but this is different.

“Max is here,” you quietly tell Charles.

“Don’t worry about him, he won’t cause a scene,” Charles reassures you, knowing his old friend. You are grateful for the man sitting across from you.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you ask, causing Charles’s hear to soar. can’t believe he is finally happy.

Charles is by your side during the rough days, especially the day that should’ve been your wedding anniversary with Max. You couldn’t help but to be upset, and healing takes time. Charles didn’t push you to do anything, he just kept you company and followed your lead.

When you were together for six months, you felt comfortable enough to reintroduce yourself to Charles’s friends and family. It helps that the two of you adopted a dog.

“These are my sons, Ollie and Oscar,” Charles tells you as you stand in the kitchen, watching over the dinner you had been working on. He would’ve invited Liam, but that would be awkward for everyone.

“It’s lovely to meet you, I’m Y/n. I suspect you know Leo from social media. Would either of you like wine, or anything from the fridge? Please, help yourself,” you stop yourself from fussing. Charles recognizes it as your hormones kicking in, making you fuss over them.

“Thank you, need any help?” Ollie asks as Oscar plays with Leo.

“Thank you, but you are a guest. I couldn’t let you. Now, I think Charles has a really expensive bottle that will pair well with this meal, let me grab it and pour a couple glasses,” you wink.

“Only the best for you and the kids, Cheri,” Charles yells from the dining room where he is setting the table. Ollie takes the glass you poured for him, he wouldn’t mind you being his grid mom.

“Charles, come help me bring food in while the boys sit down,” you tell him, giving Oscar and Ollie a little glare when the move to help you.

“Of course, mon cœur,” Charles smiles, carrying the heavier plates in while you grab the wine bottle and the two empty glasses for you and Charles.

The two boys try to make sure they don’t come off as interrogating you, but you don’t mind. They are avoiding the elephant in the room, and both you and Charles know it.

“You can ask, I don’t mind,” you say gently, knowing it’s eating Oscar alive. He’s like you and George if you two had an idgaf attitude.

“Is it true that you and Max, um,” Oscar pauses looking for the words.

“Yeah, he’s my ex-husband. He did me a favor though, without him I wouldn’t be with Charlie,” you look adoringly at your boyfriend.

“Ask George and Carmen, they will give you the best version of the story,” Charles laughs and so do you.

“This is really good, I might need you to cook after races for me,” Ollie changes to topic, groaning a little at how full he is.

“She’s our mom, of course it’s good,” Oscar replies, you can’t fight the grin on your face.

“Of course I will. I can send some frozen meals for you to heat up along to the with Charles,” you tell them.

“Or you could come to the races and keep me company,” Ollie says, looking at you hopefully. You are one hundred percent adopting him. Charles looks at you a little panicked, you never really talked about being in the paddock as his girlfriend. Of course, he has publicly talked about how he has a girlfriend who he adores, but no one knows it’s you, except for a few people.

Max never told anyone about your relationship, despite him seeing your date and reporters asking him about you. It would be an asshole thing to do after he moved on so quick, and you deserved better than what he had done to you already.

“I’d love to, but don’t regret it when you are being mothered,” you point your fork at them.

“Wait, why only Ferrari,” Oscar pouts.

“I can visit you too, I’ll even bring cookies,” you tell Oscar. He pumps his fist in celebration.

Charles is happy to hear you are okay going to races again. You have to be a little stealthy about it at the start. You go the first couple times as George’s guest, and slowly increase how long you are with Charles each time.

Things change when you miss your period. You and Charles have always been very careful, but there have been a couple time that you forgot a condom.

“What does it say, mon cœur?” Charles sits beside you in bed, rubbing soft circles on your shoulder. You take a shakey breath and turn the stick over, ready to be shown another negative.

“Positive, I’m pregnant. I thought I couldn’t have kids,” you feel Charles brush tears from your cheeks.

“We will be the best parents, I’m so happy,”he reassures you, and you can see how happy he is. From then on you go as Charles’s partner, Ollie is happy to have you with him in the garage, and even accompanies you to visit Oscar. Ollie claimed it was to protect you and the baby against Max, but that doesn’t work when Max is talking to Lando at the same time you visit Oscar.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Max asks a little hesitatily.

“I’m really well, how are you?” you ask, pushing down the bitter parts of you. You truly are very happy now.

“I’m okay. Do you think we could talk at some point this weekend? I think it’s been long enough and you deserve closure for yourself,” Max scratches the back of his head.

“Message me on Instagram. We can find a time,” you agree, needing to get a couple things off your chest. That time is the next morning in an open room in Red Bull hospitality.

“You wanted to talk,” you say as you sit down across from Max. Charles was apprehensive when you told him of your plan, but he trusted you and was supportive of your choice.

“I wanted to apologize for how I treated you at the end, it was unfair to you,” Max tells you, clearly pushing through his pride. “So, I’m sorry. I can’t say it’s easy seeing you happy with someone who isn’t me. Are you happy?” Max asks, needing to know.

“Of course I am. It was really hard to move on. Charlie makes me extremely happy, and he’s given me the greatest gift I could ask for,” you smile, subconsciously putting a hand on your stomach. Max feels his stomach swirl with jealousy. Charles is living the life he should be living, Charles is doing everything he should be doing for you, but he fucked it all up.

“I, uh, wow. Congratulations, I know how much you wanted a kid. I’m happy for you, schatje,” Max says, pushing down his jealousy. It’s his fault he lost you, now he has to live with the consequences and be mature about it. Maybe if he hadn’t gotten with Kelly so soon he would be with you, but it’s too late now.

Max did try. He constantly asked George where you were, or to convince you to talk to him. George was protective though, he saw how hurt you were and knew you needed to heal on your own time. So he did what any overprotective best friend would do, talk reasonably and show Max why he needed to stay away.

“Thanks, Maxie, that means a lot,” Maxie, a dagger through Max’s heart. “I can’t be friends with you right now, but maybe someday. I like this version of you, maybe Kelly was the right one for you after all,” you can see the pain in Max’s somber eyes, the same one you see from the end of your relationship, and the same one that haunts you.

“I really am sorry,” Max’s voice cracks. “You’re the love and loss of my life,” tears well in his eyes as he looks at you.

“You’re the loss of mine as well,” you stand up and move towards him, pulling him into a hug. “You are going to be okay, Max. We weren’t right for each other, but now you can move on,” you say softly. In your heart you can feel the closure you’ve needed. Max felt it too, and when the day came, he would be ready to be a good friend.

Until that day, he is publicly supportive of your family with Charles. Max repairs his relationship with Charles first, then he slowly repairs it with you. When Julianna Herveline Leclerc graced the world, he was one of the first people to send a gift and well wishes. And when you and Charles finally make it to the alter, Max is standing beside Charles, happy to support the two of you.

[highpriestess13]

Collective Reading!

Y’all know there’s a conjunction happening this Saturday right? On 4/20 👀👀. Let’s get into the energies happening for you guys on this day!

For starters, I see someone making a clear decisive decision to let something go and step into something new. I feel this may be between you and someone else, water and air energy… possibility of fire as well. Someone may have went into a connection with someone or gotten married and now someone may be having either doubts, there may be a lot turbulence or someone just wasn’t who they said they were. If that’s the case, I see a settlement or a divorce happening or this may be 2 people deciding to get help like a therapist or marriage counseling. However I do feel like someone is choosing to communicate that something may not be working out so there’s an ending to a relationship whether romantic or platonic. I’m not sure if someone is bipolar or constantly has mood swings, I also feel like someone has too much going on emotionally, so prioritizing the right things will help someone regain balance. So this Saturday, you may see a lot of divorces, breakups whether it’s your personal experience or others.

TRAVELING! I see some traveling for you guys, for some this may be for work. If it’s not a literal travel this could be a shift/ change of mindset. This shift will gear you towards focusing on your bag. You’re releasing the past and not letting it get to you or stop you from achieving certain goals for yourself. It’s also giving entrepreneurial energy. If this isn’t you, this is someone possibly coming towards you that have these qualities or energy. Or they may be a guide to you in some way. 666 is confirmation and I’m also getting “allow for things to happen”. This motivation is going to stem from the past like someone transmuting old energy into new energy.

On Saturday… there’s someone dealing with inner turmoil or inner demons however you may look at it if this is you. There’s still pent up anger, trauma, negativity. Someone could be feeling like a loner, this may be due to either power struggle OR abuse of power. Either way I just feel you separating yourself from anyone and anything that’s toxic and unhealthy for you or that may bring up past trauma/ triggers. If you’ve been feeling triggered a lot, it’s time to look within a figure how to maneuver around it or through it so that you don’t cause harm to others and yourself. 99 and 44 are confirmation. Heavy on keeping yourself protected and guarded from devil like energy so that your energy doesn’t get mixed up.

Someone from a spiritually gifted family or this may be meeting/ choosing your soul family or tribe. This could be your ancestors as well. I see celebrations and recognition for planting a fertile ground for your current or future family to thrive in especially on a spiritual level. The seeds took time to grow and thrive and it took a lot of hard work, dedication, ups and downs but you got it done and your ancestors/ spirit guides are celebrating you. They’re definitely happy with all of the progress you’ve made… could’ve been for the last 7 years, give or take for some. There’s still more work to do because you have such a huge responsibility and this is why they love and respect you so much because even when things get rough and tough and too much to handle you still keep going. Some of you could be catching a break or taking a much needed one so vacations are on the horizon. “Dedication” is what I’m hearing.

I see some emotions coming back to the surface. Whether it’s fears or something that’s been hidden in the subconscious for some time. I’m hearing “lying dormant”. If things begin to resurface for you at this time, it’s because you’re needing to face them so that you can properly heal and align with the energy. Be gentle with yourself and others and show some compassion.. being harsh isn’t going to do any Justice for your now anyone but being gentle will.

There’s an argument bound to happen between 2 people possibly men. We have fire and air energy. Whoever this fire sign is, they’re going to be the one to attack first while the air sign keeps themselves grounded and strong minded and not entertain the other person’s approach… if that makes sense. I feel like this fire sign is upset because a female may have chosen the air sign make. With this situation, faith is being restored. Someone is leaving behind certain rules on how something should be and just going with what they want. I’m also seeing someone being a divine messenger as well.. Moses is significant too.

[pestopascal]

oc interview

tagged by @ratkingkisses , i tag @doollee @vex-derolo @dameryn yeehaw lads

(art by @rockboci​)

name ➔ “Logan... Walsh.”

are you single ➔ She stretches, arms along the back of the chair, and laughs. “Depends on who’s asking.”

are you happy ➔ "Always.” A pause, and her lip curls up. “I can’t remember a time I wasn’t.”

are you angry ➔ “Mmm... yeah. Can’t remember not being angry, either.” 

are your parents still married ➔ “Divorced. Kids got lost in the settlement, between homes. Messy situation. But, hey, the desert wasn’t so bad.”

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “Depends on who you ask. Mum says up north, dad says out east.”

hair color ➔ “I think it’s blonde today, right? Or did that packet lie to me again?”

eye color ➔ Leans closer now, bats her lashes. “Why don’t you tell me?”

birthday ➔ “February 29th... eighty-something. The nineties were kind of a blur for me.”

mood ➔ Hand wave, but there’s still a smile there.

gender ➔ “Female.”

summer or winter ➔ “Winter. Like wearing layers.” 

morning or afternoon ➔ “I like the idea of time, I guess.” She’s smiling again. “But I’d honestly say late evening.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ A hand rubs the back of her neck, and she shrugs. Makes a face. “Depends on who is asking.”

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ That actually gets a light chuckle out of her, but she doesn’t answer. Not verbally, anyway.

who ended your last relationship ➔ “Oh, you know. Parents, political statements... conversations over dinner. Things happen.”

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ She laughs loudly, grin wide. “I’ve been told it’s a great skill of mine. One of many.”

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “In this economy? ...Nah.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ "Define hug. Because if it’s what I’m thinking it could’ve been only a few hours ago.” There’s a smirk that plays around her lips. She’s messing with you.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ "Not so secret when you can hear them, is it? Oh no, wait... there was one person.” Nothing more.

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ All you get is another shrug, another wave of the hand. Moving on.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Both. Both are good.”

lemonade or iced tea ➔ She makes a face. “That it? Not much of a choice.”

cats or dogs ➔ “Definitely both. Don’t know where I’d be without my triplets or lil Daisy.” There’s a movement, and she’s pulling photos out of her jacket. “Wanna see?”

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I’ve only ever had a few good friends... so that.”

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ "Clearly you need to go out with me more. Definitely both can be wild... or romantic.” Tilt of her head. “Depends on what’s going on.”

day or night ➔ “Night, always.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “If I’m getting ‘caught’,” she makes a movement with her fingers, “it’s because I wanted someone to catch me.”

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ "Don’t ask Ortega about it... never shut up then.”

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ Something passes over her face, but it’s gone. “Every goddamn day.”

wanted to disappear ➔ “I’m too pretty for that.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ Big sigh, and she shifts again, pulling her leg up. “Definitely eyes. Being called the ‘windows to the soul’ isn’t just poetry, it’s reality. Also a deeper connection, y’know. When you really wanna get into someone’s head.”

shorter or taller ➔ “Taller... only for bragging rights, though.”

intelligence or attraction ➔ “Both.”

hook-up or relationship ➔ There’s a smug look she’s fighting. “Both. Depends on the mood. Person. You know how it is.”

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ "Been a while since I saw my sister but uh, estranged father and mother is always a time honoured tradition of bonding.”

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔  "Who hasn’t had one of those? If they say they have, call ‘em a liar.”

have you ever ran away from home ➔ “How does anyone end up in Los Diablos?”

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ Taps her lips with her fingers, before sighing. “Not without a little persuasion.”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “That would be counterproductive to the term ‘friend’.”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Wouldn’t keep them around otherwise.”

who is your best friend ➔ “Don’t make me choose between the triplets. They’d cry if I told them it was actually Daisy.”

who knows everything about you ➔ There’s a laugh again, another shrug. Another another another. “I don’t even think I do by this point.”

[marignytotreme]

SPOT ON!

Sometimes when I look around the internet, in all it’s glory, I realise just how fucking deluded people are – especially where Meghan Markle is concerned.

A number of us dislike her, a few really don’t care either way and the rest live with their heads up her arse. For those living with their heads up her backside, I’ve noticed that a lot of what you say about Meghan online is, quite frankly, total bullshit and sometimes so utterly absurd, I wonder if most of you are simply on day release.

So below, I have tackled the most common misconceptions head-on; because we all know I don’t enjoy anything more than putting Sussex fans in their place.  

She’s a style icon

I don’t know anybody on this Earth who has access to so much money and the best stylists you can buy, but still appears to have gotten dressed in the dark most of the time. Yes, she has worn one or two nice pieces; but by and large, she looks like a cheap knock-off of Victoria Beckham and I don’t think that image exactly screams “royalty”.

Until I take my last breath on this earth, I will forever be baffled by how Meghan Markle has gotten it so spectacularly wrong in the style stakes. Some people do seem to like the way she dresses; they see her “style” (if you can call it that) as “fresh” and “modern” – but quite frankly, I prefer Kate’s dress coats and hats, which some have labelled “boring”. I don’t agree at all.

Yes, Kate is the future Queen and therefore has played it slightly safer with fashion; but I do really like her clothing which is usually a perfect mix of the traditional and modern. She looks like a ROYAL. And yes Meghan, those long trousers that sweep the floor as you walk may have looked nice on Vicky B, but she is the wife of a footballer – not a member of the royal family. Believe it or not, there is a difference.

She’s a humanitarian

This one always makes me laugh.

Show of hands please; how many of you know genuine “humanitarians” who visit the impoverished in a coat worth £7,000? I thought humanitarians were meant to have common sense?

Meghan, dear; walking down the road in Kensington with an “alleviate poverty” bag doesn’t make you a charitable person or a humanitarian – it just makes you a hypocrite. Instead of spending thousands of pounds on ugly clothing that you’ll only wear once anyway, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and donate to your chosen charities? Yes, instead of getting your fans to donate to them on your behalf under the guise of a “Global Sussex baby shower”.

And just another tip for the future; humanitarians don’t preach about climate change off the back of a million-pound trip on a private jet to New York for a party. They don’t wear £99k maternity dresses in Morocco. They don’t spend millions of pounds of the taxpayers’ money to renovate one of their many homes. And they certainly don’t visit those living in poverty dressed from head to toe in Givenchy.

She was already famous and rich in her own right and didn’t need Harry’s money

Right – we’ve been through this. How rich do you really think she was before the ring went on? I mean, seriously? Suits was a lowly cable show and she is not an A-lister. And given her knack of merching at every available opportunity, I’m guessing the woman looks for every possible chance to make money. That doesn’t scream “well off” to me.

Meghan has only really ever gone after men who have a lot of money or means to open doors for her toward new opportunities and a better life, and then drops them when they can no longer do anything for her. This is not the behaviour of an independent feminist who is able to achieve things on her own – this is the behaviour of a gold digger.

So sure – Meg had money; from her divorce settlement with Trevor, from her rumoured days as a yacht girl and Soho House regular and from all the merching she did and does for Jessica Mulroney. But was it millions and millions? Clearly not or she wouldn’t have had to marry a Prince.

She’s proud to represent Britain

In two (very British) words: my arse.

In the year and a half since Harry and Meghan became engaged, I have yet to see her wear any British designers or champion much that is British at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure she goes out of her way to actively avoid wearing anything that is British.

There are even rumours that she has apparently hired an all-American medical team to deliver her brat because in Meghan’s expert opinion, our 70-year-old NHS service isn’t good enough to deliver the second coming of Markle and Wales. It was good enough for the future Queen Consort to deliver three children in an NHS Hospital, but no, not for old Meggy.

And when charity patronages for Meghan were announced back in January, it was revealed that she would be focusing on – you guessed it – everywhere but the UK. Africa, the Middle East, Antarctica… you name it – if it’s not Britain, Meghan’s happy to back it.

She is the best thing to hit the Royal Family

I think you’ll find that was Kate eight years ago.

(Happy Anniversary for tomorrow, Cambridges!)

Despite the adamant claims of her fans, so far, I have yet to see Meghan do anything groundbreaking. If you ask her little followers for proof of anything they’re all like:

Oh, and when they’re really stumped, they’ll come out with “yeah? Well Meghan’s only been married a year but Kate’s been on the scene for eight and hasn’t done anything at all.”

Right… Apart from being an ambassador for Britain on several overseas tours, starting the Heads Together charity (amongst others) and birthing a future King?

Meghan has so far, by my tally – cooked once or twice with a few Grenfell victims and gave a bunch of bananas to some prostitutes.

While I’m all for backing any disaster that happens on my doorstep (I live around the corner from where Grenfell stood), I will say this: the tower disaster has had more money thrown at it than you can shake a stick at and it was almost two years ago now – Meghan, it’s time to find something more current to support, not just backing the first “English” cause that you could get your hands on.

As for the bananas – don’t get me started. What bright spark thought it’d be a good idea to give phallic shaped fruit to a group of sex workers? And with messages like “you’re so loved ”… yeah, I’m sure 35-year-old Louise from Dagenham is feeling totally “loved” when she’s shivering at the side of the road waiting for possible clientele to drive by or blowing some guy for a fiver at the back of his Ford Mondeo. Get real, Meghan.

If I were one of those women, I’d tell Her Royal Highness exactly where she could put those bananas – and probably not for the first time either.

She doesn’t want the limelight

Yeah, like a cat doesn’t want the canary.

I have never seen a person so adept at sniffing out a camera from at least fifty miles away. The Cambridges could’ve used her in France seven years ago when Kate was papped taking her clothes off on their villa balcony – with Meghan about, no photographer goes undetected.

Bottom line: Meghan loves herself and she loves the cameras. The two combined thrill her to no end.

The best example of this would’ve been at the British Fashion Awards earlier this year – she was so unbelievably excited to have the spotlight on her where she could squeeze the life out of her bump in front of the UK press for all to see, I’m surprised she didn’t have an orgasm.

I’d put fifty quid on this whole “privacy” thing surrounding the baby’s birth being Harry’s idea and Meghan has just been forced to go along with it. Madam? Give up the spotlight when her mealticket arrives? Once again – my arse.

She could potentially be Queen one day

I know this one sounds totally mental, but please go with me on it – her fans are actually saying this sort of crap on Twitter. They actually believe, in their tiny deluded minds, that this woman could eventually wind up as Queen Consort one day.

And how exactly do you think this will happen?

Perhaps she’ll poison Kate with the contents of one of her diamonds, divorce Harry’s balding, ginger arse and William will marry her after realising the deceptive, social-climbing grifter actress was really “The One” after all? Ah, just like Romeo and Juliet.

For any Meghan fans reading this, please let me say this for the final time, as some of you do not appear to understand how the line of succession works – Meghan will never become Queen. Say it with me now…

No fewer than five people have to cark it in order for Harry to get anywhere near the throne, and no, he does NOT take over if William were to die suddenly while George is still young. In this instance, the throne would be powered by a team of advisors until George turned eighteen, and then he would be crowned officially. Harry and Meghan are unlikely to ever sniff the material the throne is made from, let alone sit on it – sorry Sussex Stans.

She’s here to stay

Incorrect again, I’m afraid.

Given the woman’s track record, it doesn’t appear she sticks around anywhere for very long and the second something better comes along, she’s off.

No, right now, I can’t imagine what could be higher than royalty – but I’m sure Meghan has a few ideas and is probably targeting her next victim as we speak.

What will it be, Meg? A billionaire without the life of restrictions and protocol? Or maybe you’ll run for President? Nah, even though you love the sound of your own voice, that seems like it would be too stressful for madam’s liking.

Whatever her next move is, I have no doubt she’ll be hitting the road in the next two to three years.

Once the novelty of having a title wears off, the royal purse strings are tightened by the Queen and the penny finally drops for Meghan that she’ll never really have her own brand and platform to project her oh-so-wonderful ideas from, she’ll be out of there – with half of Harry’s money and his kid(s) in tow.

Of course, the list of misconceptions about Meghan goes on and on; there is so much utter rubbish spewed on social media by her fans that I can only assume they’re either paid PR people, seriously deranged or Meghan herself. Honestly, you can’t write some of the stuff that comes up – or apparently you can. It’s a crazy world out there.

If you do think any of the above is incorrect, and you believe Meghan really is a stand-up (Non-UK) citizen, you can find me on Twitter to discuss it @CrownofSapphire – I’m always ready and willing to have an argument.

Have a good one, guys!

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x10 Chapter Ten

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) This was a low blow…

2) I can imagine the storm will be both literal and metaphorical…

3) Rafael’s father is leaving him in charge of firing some of the hotel’s staff. This is a no-win situation for him. If he fires people, he’ll disappoint Jane and affect those employees’ lives. If he doesn’t, then he’ll have failed his father’s test.

4) Petra has signed the divorce papers because she’s hoping her sudden cooperation will sit well with Rafael and he will pay the prenup settlement. But Rafael is not here for it…

RAFAEL: Should we go over all the crazy lies and the things you've done just in the last six months? 'Cause we can.

NARRATOR: Ooh, yes, let's!

(I’m the narrator, btw.)

5) The hotel is on lockdown with all the main characters there… Bottle episode? Should be interesting!

6) Rafael’s father is also keeping some secrets of his own.

7) I’m at a loss here, a surgical room?

8) And I really don’t know what to make of this…

MICHAEL: It's Rafael. I knew it.

NADINE: Okay, just calm down - and let's think this through.

MICHAEL: He ran this hotel. He knows everything that happens here. There's no way he didn't know about this place. Nadine, think about it. Roman Zazo, one of Sin Rostro's contacts, was Rafael's college roommate. Then there's the multiple passports from different countries, cash and burner phone inside his safe…

NADINE: Which we never found.

MICHAEL: I know what I saw. You know me well enough to know I would not make that up. He must have moved them.

NADINE: Look, Rafael is definitely a suspect, okay? But if he's involved, I got to think he's working for his father. I mean, Emilio is the one that financed the hotel. And Zazo was murdered the same night that Emilio got here.

Either Rafael is a sociopath, or they’re way off. It could be Emilio, but I’m not sold on it. My hunch is that these are red-herrings and it’s got to be somebody else. It must be somebody who has an in at the hotel, of course. That’s why I still think it could be Magda – even more so now after she’s pushed Alba off the stairs. I just hope it’s someone who has already been introduced into the show rather than a new character we haven’t met, you know?

9) Why did she feel compelled to intervene here?

I get that this makes for #drama, but what they were discussing had ZERO to do with Jane, so maybe she shouldn’t get involved and give them the idea that she could be swayed to take sides?

And why is Michael revealing all this investigation-sensitive information to Jane, exactly? Like, I know why – he’s trying to make Rafael look like a criminal. But dude, do your job! He doesn’t even know who could be eavesdropping on their conversation!

10) Oh, Rafael just quoted me!

11) What is Petra going to do with her hostage situation?

12) Aww, Rogelio showed up to support Xiomara!!

Did I tell you that I fucking adore Rogelio?

13) And Jane absolutely shouldn’t get involved in the hotel’s decisions, like, she’s still an employee???

Narrator agrees with me. And I’m still going with the theory that the narrator is Jane? Like maybe this is a story she’s written? And in hindsight, she knows she shouldn’t have read this.

14) OH SHIT! The hospital is notifying ICE about Alba’s alien status!!! What the fuck!!! NOOOOOO!!!

Loving the political commentary, though.

15) Are elevators a thing in this show, like in VM or Grey’s Anatomy?

16) Yep, they are.

17) What does Rose want to see Luisa for?

18) So, Rose panicked because she thought Emilio was dropping her cheating ass for someone else and decided making up with Luisa would assure she’d still get a cut of the family’s fortune, right? Sorry if I’m being a bit cynical, but it can’t be a coincidence that she confessed her love for Luisa right after finding out that her husband might be cheating on her. And I’m super proud about Luisa telling her to fuck off. Rose had her committed, for fuck’s sake! Did she really believe Luisa would forget about that so easily, just because she was telling her she loved her? It makes me think that Rose had probably been manipulating Luisa all along…

19) Michael is genuinely concerned about Alba, and he’s helpful yet again. I appreciate that.

20) Xiomara and Jane are talking about the possibility of Alba getting deported, and I’m fucking crying. It’s too real, and it breaks my heart to think of all these people who are living constantly in fear, dreading getting hurt or getting a ticket or even saying the wrong thing in front of someone because they could be deported and separated from their family. I didn’t think this show would give me this type of feelings and make me think about this stuff – although I do think about it a lot.

21) WTF Rose, what is she planning to do?

22)

Magda is up to something. She was in the bathroom, waiting for Petra to get her some toilet paper when the storm broke their room’s window. She could’ve fought off Ivan, so I’m sure she’s planning something. She never does anything for nothing, you know?

23) How many times is Magda going to ask “Now what”? Hahaha!

24) That is so NOT how you eat an empanada!

I’m also predicting that Jane’s “prayer” was answered because Xiomara heard her talking to Alba or heard her praying and asked Alba to help her with the cooking to avoid disappointing Jane. I’m really hoping that’s the case and that Jane finds out it was her mother who answered her prayer because that’s the type of message I’m here for. EDIT: At least I was right about how the prayer got answered.

25) Uh-oh…

I hate to admit it, but I think it’s obvious Jane still has feelings for Michael.

26) Is Jane really going to veto who can and cannot get fired? How doesn’t she realize that that’s not her place?

27) Please tell me that Luisa is not falling for Rose’s tricks and she’s going to put on her clothes, leave her tied right there, and leave the hospital as if she were Rose…

28) Oh, Luisa, you fucking idiot.

ROSE: Have you ever heard of somebody named Allegria?

LUISA: That's my grandmother on my mom's side. My dad really loved her.

NARRATOR: Rose wondered why Emilio would be spending money on a dead woman.

LUISA: He even named his house in Croatia after her.

NARRATOR: Ah, yes. You see, this is the information Rose came for.

She looks super hot in that shot, though.

29) Alba woke up just in time to hear Xiomara’s prayer…

But she doesn’t remember the accident… I’m predicting she will get her memory back at the best/worst possible moment.

30) Was it Rogelio’s or Michael’s help the one that saved Alba from being deported?

31) How is Jane surprised that her friends are pissed at her? She shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place!

32) I’m sorry, but I feel Jane shouldn’t have been so comfortable with the fact that Rafael didn’t even consider putting her on the list only because of the fact they’re having a baby together. That’s nepotism or something. If they feel her working at his hotel presents some kind of conflict of interests, then she should look for another job. But her being fired or not should have only been about how well she does her job and nothing else. She obviously didn’t deserve to be fired, like she mentioned before, so that’s what Rafael should’ve taken into account.

33) So people were having their faces changed in the surgery room? That means that the Serbian could be anyone that looks like a new character, right?

34) Now, this really makes me think Rafael could actually be a bad guy…

JANE: Look, I-I'm I'm sorry to even ask this, but the passports and the phone that Michael said he saw in your safe, did he just make that all up?

RAFAEL: No. Not all of it. I do keep cash in there, and I needed an international phone when I traveled to find Luisa. And I heard that Michael was snooping around, so I moved it. Look, the guy's got it in for me. He's trying to get in your head, and he clearly has, because you are standing in front of me thinking that I might be some kind of bad guy. That I might have something to do with this Crazy Sin Rostro.

And Jane? “I know you don’t”? You’ve literally just met the guy, you don’t know SHIT about him!

35) Okay, so Luisa is not a complete idiot…

36) Okay…

So now Rose is suggesting Emilio might be Sin Rostro? It doesn’t add up, idk.

37) So it was Michael the one that got Alba out of trouble. Okay, White Bread, that was a genuinely nice thing to do, and you’re not even looking forward to get credit for it.

38) Um, this sounds a bit ominous…

MICHAEL: I'm not just gonna give up on us. You know? We belong together. And I'll never stop believing that.

NARRATOR: And for as long as Michael lived, until he drew his very last breath, he never did.

Is Michael going to die? During the show’s run, I mean. PLEASE DON’T TELL ME.

39) That was a very interesting episode, and apparently, I had a lot to say about it! Looking forward to the next!

40) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[civilorange]

story time.

At the bright-eyed age of thirteen, or fourteen, I knew everything—except all those things I didn’t know, but those things could fuck off. It was two days before I started high school and me and my brother—who is three years older—wanted to end the summer with some good ol’ fashion mischief. If you’ve read any of my stories, you know this can’t end well, and honestly—at the time—we probably both low-key knew it, too.

“We’ll borrow The Van,” one, or both, of us say—neither of us will admit to being the one who suggested it, but the proof is in the pudding—one of us did.

Now you might’ve noticed that The Van had capital letters involved—believe me, even verbally you can tell they’re capitalized. It was a 1990 Dodge Ram van that was blue, but not just normal blue—some fucked up SeaWorld pale blue mess. But it’s fucked up colors aside, that isn’t what made it special. No, what made it special was the custom made front grill that curved up partially over the hood—polished metal and blue fiberglass, with foot high letters spelling out “Sweet Revenge”.

Now, this wasn’t some murder van, though it easily could’ve been turned into one—it was my mother’s gift to herself after her divorce from my father. He never allowed her to get one, despite him buying fuck all what he wanted, so—with some of the settlement money? Got herself this big fuck-all van. And named it Sweet Revenge.

It’s something like fourteen years old at this point and barely runs—our family really only uses it to travel long distances; like driving to Tennessee and blowing two pairs of brakes because my grandfather didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to cruise on brakes going down a mountain, which ended up with us eating lunch in a garage that also had a startling amount of chickens.

But that’s another story.

We eat dinner, and then promptly yawn and tell our mother how absolutely tuckered we both are, and that we simply must go to bed. She’s suspicious—after all, she knows her children are both crafty, and stupid, but she doesn’t know what to expect.

I palm the keys in both hands because there’s a ridiculous amount of keychains on them—including a large brick block that spelled out my name. And then I wait—for an indeterminate amount of time, because we didn’t really plan how to go about “borrowing” my mother’s car. A half-hour, maybe forty minutes, later I climb out my window. Now, it’s a choice of dangers—there’s a metal ladder just outside my window that goes up to the roof, but it is filled—completely—with bees.

I opt to jump the 10+ feet to the ground, twisting my ankle which—to this day, until this moment—I have never admitted to. I tell my brother, who’s looking at my limp oddly, that I’m “trying something new” and never extrapolate.

We jump in The Van and drive off—headlights off, low RPM—some real James Bond shit. If James Bond was two stupid white kids in a backwater suburb in New York pulling the most polite of grand theft autos. We cruise around for a while, and then go to the local hang out, all the half-drunk stoners marvel at our crime, lauding us with delights such as the illustrious PBR and Los Generalos.

It’s getting late, so I call my—then—best friend Victoria and ask her if she wants to casually break laws with us. Mind you, I’m thirteen—or fourteen—and my seventeen year old brother hasn’t even gotten a permit yet. She, of course, says “absolutely” so we head over to pick her up. Driving down into a community center parking lot that was really very illuminated—so we had no excuse. All the street lights didn’t stop us from hitting an island in the middle of the parking lot at 40 miles an hour and blowing out our front passenger tire.

Now, this is the moment when most children—even the stupid ones—would hedge their bets, call their parents and try to make it to adulthood alive. But seeing as how we are especially stupid, we decide we’re going to drive home on the flat tire—it’s five miles, easily, and entirely uphill. It’s probably about midnight, maybe a little later, and we’re driving five miles an hour uphill on backroads. The shredded wheel is getting louder, and the vibration worse—but we keep going.

We’re committed.

Eventually we get back home, we park The Van back into its spot—a very obscured spot that made it hard to see the busted tire. We get out, listening to see if we can hear anyone awake—and after a few minutes we determine that we’ve gotten away with it. Cue high fives, and very quiet whoops of joy. And then one of us—neither of us admit to being this person—says, “let’s take the Taurus.”

My mother’s 2002 Ford Taurus, which she’d gotten when her last car was absolutely crushed by a tree. I crawl back through my bedroom window and go through the house pretending to have just woken up. Returning The Van keys, and swapping them for the Taurus keys. It’s easier than I want to admit. Meeting my brother back outside, we go driving again—we pick up my best friend, we pick up his best friend, and then decide to get one more person—I can’t remember who, I think it was my best friend’s cousin that she thought was hot.

Regardless, we’re driving something like a half hour away from home when it happens—my brother takes a turn a little too wide, and we hit another car head on. Clipping front corner panels both cars spin out and we slam nose first into a stone wall. I remember headlights, and pain, and someone screaming—and then dread. We crawl out the passenger window—my window—and just stand there.

“We’re fucking dead,” I say with absolute certainty.

My best friend went sprinting off into the darkness, she couldn’t get caught—her ultra-Christian family had already banned Harry Potter, who knew what could be next. Me and my brother were left there wallowing in our soon to be immediate deaths. The police have arrived and the opposite car seems to be filled with a simply impossible amount of people—ten, easily—and they’re asking us what happened, how this happened.

We get wrangled into some squad cars and brought to the police station where they make the phone call. They ring up our mother, who isn’t expecting such a call—after all, her dear sweet stupid children are in their beds sleeping, because they clearly could not be that stupid.

Oh, they are.

I try pleading with the officer—he’s young, obviously a rookie on the graveyard shift—and he’s determined to do this by the book. He calls our mother and tells her everything—I can’t hear anything, maybe one “mhm” but that’s it, and then he hangs up. “She’s on her way down.”

We’re dead. Absolutely dead.

The bonus to all this is that my grandfather—he was a pretty big deal with the police—called his old partner who just happened to be the Chief of Police for this particular city. This poor rookie cop had to deal with the Chief of Police coming in to babysit two delinquent children while we all waited for my mother to come pick us up. Uncle Vinny terrorized this poor officer; though genuinely, he probably should have brought us to an emergency room.

He did get me apple juice from the precinct fridge.

Now, I wish I could tell you what exactly transpired after that—but it’s all a blur. All I can remember is sitting in the backseat beside my brother as the sun began to rise. We were heading to the emergency room because of my cut up hand and head wound; my mother wouldn’t look at either of us, but I distinctly remember her saying, “I suggest you don’t do anything fun for a very long time.”

And that’s how we broke two of my mother’s cars in one night.

(Thought she didn’t know The Van was us until six or seven years later.)

[canaryatlaw]

okay, today was decent. I woke up and immediately started emailing, trying to make a settlement for the case that was up at 9, and at which point I'd need to withdraw, which I really didn't want to do. and at first it looked like it wasn't going to happen which was disappointing, but we went through with it and I withdrew from the case, and that was that. until about 20 minutes later the other attorney calls me and said her client agreed, so we sign it quickly then hop back on Zoom to have the orders from earlier stricken and the agreed order entered in the case. It was a huge relief for me, because they're heading into the divorce case where she's still looking for counsel, and it's good that this is done. it has gotten me thinking though, regarding taking clients that end up being a lot of work, most of the time because their cases are fairly weak. and part of me was saying you know I could've saved myself so much grief if I had just passed on this case, but I think more than anything that's my own selfishness taking over, when I felt compelled to take the case generally because I knew that if I didn't help them, nobody was going to, and they were just going to get trampled by the system. And while a lot of those cases have been a giant pain while they are going on, the satisfaction of having reached a resolution really have been some of the most fulfilling cases I've been able to do, and I really love that feeling. I know it's logical really to not accept weak cases, that end up taking up a lot of time, but it's really not about the time it takes up or the more work I have to put into it, because this work is so important and my own selfish desires to only do the easier cases really isn't what should be making the decisions here. I have a new (almost) client (we're still working on officially making a decision, but it will be a yes when it happens) and it just....my protective instincts just get some strong in situations like this and I just want to fight for them as fiercely as I can, because they deserve it and it's my job to help people, no matter on how difficult the case is, those cases are no less worthy of my time because there are all people in significantly traumatic experiences, and be able to say to them "I'm going to help you" and walk with them through that- there's really nothing else like that. I know this is a giant rant, but the thoughts have been kicking around my head for most of the day and I wanted to get them out. anyway. once we wrapped that up I did a few more things, then I was supposed to be done because I was taking a half sick day for a doctor's appointment, but still ended up doing a bit more work lol. I left around 2:30, the appointment was for 3:15 but it was all out somewhere in the suburbs, because why would you have offices where the majority of people live in the city??? but it was for my neurologist, following up with things. we talked about PT and I do think it's been helping, which is definitely good. the doctor made the decision to officially move forward treating this with a diagnosis of Functional Movement Disorder, which I've pretty much thought would be the case since it was first brought up several months ago, because it all really just made sense. She wants to refer me to a doctor at Northwestern that runs a clinic just for that, so I may have to go fight with my insurance company about it because they're the worst. but yeah, wrapped up there and ubered back home. took care of a few things quickly, then friend picked me up and we went for our usual taco bell and target run, I think my stomach doesn't like if I eat the taco that comes with the 2 chalupas I get at the same time, because the last two times I've done that I've had some stomach pain afterwards. Good trip to Target, just grabbed a few random things I needed. Dropped back at my apartment, I went to catch up on some tv I missed throughout the week, so I watched the episodes of 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star (and holy crap was that a good episode) then this week's Black Lightning, then turned over to the news and then

started Jimmy Kimmel, but ended up switching to Jimmy Fallon because the guest Jimmy Kimmel had on was just not really something I wanted to hear about. so I watched Fallon up to the musical performance, then started to shower and get ready for bed, and now I'm here and it's a bit past 1, I need to wake up another 15 minutes early to talk to another lawyer before court, so sleep is definitely needed and I will get to that now. Goodnight peeps. Happy Friday.

[tokidokifish]

speaking of terrible things i’ve read, i was talking to @mum-feather about an awful, awful, awful series of fanfics i had read through in morbid curiosity, but i only vaguely remembered the finer details of the horribleness, so i went back and found a conversation i had with @audrey-scorne about it and decided to post it if anyone else wants to go on the wild fucking ride. i’m putting it behind a cut because it is LONG. i go into DETAIL. pls enjoy.

tokidokifish I'M STILL ALL SALTY ABOUT THIS FANFIC I READ

audreyscorne how dare they honestly

tokidokifish you don't underSTAND

audreyscorne how bad are we talking here

tokidokifish i'd say "acceptably written" but i feel like the author's idea of steve rogers is DEEPLY flawed and it was almost entirely about him so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like the premise of the whole thing is that steve and tony were married but had gotten divorced

audreyscorne oh great

tokidokifish so i figured it was going to be all about them learning to bridge their differences and fall back in love, right? it was fucking not about that

audreyscorne Bitter Gay Superhero Divorce Settlement a good time for all

tokidokifish like first of all, there's no fucking indication steve considered going to counselling or fucking ANYTHING for his broken marriage

tokidokifish he just springs it on tony to the point he fucking *has sex* with him, knowing that tony is thinking of it as something more than he is, because he's already decided to divorce him but isn't going to deny himself one last roll in the hay with tony stark

tokidokifish which is like fifteen fucking kinds of gross

audreyscorne eeeeuuuuuugh totally a cap move Steve "One Last Hatefuck" Rogers

tokidokifish and like a spur-of-the-moment sort of divorce would work in a story that was going to work to a sort of "oh we really can make this work" sort of conclusion, but in this it was like what?? the fuck?? and it's got peter parker as their son biologically tony's through a surrogate

audreyscorne oh let me guess nasty gay custody battle

tokidokifish in the past, apparently

tokidokifish SORT OF?

tokidokifish it's indicated that tony's lawyers eviscerated cap, but they also end up with a joint custody agreement that tony indicates he MADE his lawyers give to steve, so the only way it could've gotten that serious is if steve was trying for sole custody or something? fuck if i know honestly that's one of the least of this series' problems it gets SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE so the whole reason steve divorced tony is because he didn't want to have peter deal with them fighting (again, with no indication he ever even considered counselling or anything before going straight to divorce)

audreyscorne that is... uh

tokidokifish and they end up with the aforementioned joint custody agreement, which is an every other week thing and apparently when he doesn't have peter steve just completely shuts the fuck down and spends all his time moping about not having his kid

audreyscorne UM

tokidokifish and i guess feeling righteous that even though he still has feelings for tony and he knows tony still has feelings for him (mostly because tony keeps desperately trying to rekindle their relationship to the point he still wears his ring), he refuses to even consider getting back together because it's "better for peter" that they're divorced

audreyscorne this is really giving me "my understanding of divorce and parenthood is entirely based on tv" vibes for the sake of the gay angst, no doubt

tokidokifish god, it's so awful

audreyscorne Bad Job

tokidokifish and it's made pretty obvious that cap is depressed/struggling with ptsd (somewhat, at first, VERY MUCH at the end, i still haven't gotten to the really bad part), but like... the idea that he isn't surrounded by people that would help him is insane? like fucking sam wilson alone does this shit FOR A LIVING. and he gets emotionally manipulative in really disgusting ways - not on purpose, obviously, but it reminded me so much of my mother at her worst that it makes my skin crawl like one summer peter has an internship and wants to just stay with tony because it would be more convenient

tokidokifish and he ends up getting in a fight with cap and saying some mean shit and cap (god, i'm closing my eyes just typing this) starts crying and runs to his bedroom until he can get himself under control he cries a lot

tokidokifish like i'm all for dudes showing emotion but he cries like i cry which is to say: fucking immediately and at the smallest shit anyhow, steve throws himself DIRECTLY into this fic's staple which is what i will call Martyr Mode because he's now convinced himself that peter will never come back and even after peter comes to apologize for the things he says, he goes full on "no, no, i understand, it's okay, you don't want to see me anymore, whatever makes you happy" mode

tokidokifish even after tony realizes something went wrong and goes up to comfort steve because he is like the only fucking sensible adult in this situation, steve continues acting this way until peter rescinds his decision this is when they convince him to see a therapist, and a new cycle of bullshit begins

audreyscorne fuckin YIKES What a shitshow

tokidokifish he gets a therapy dog and moves to maine and seems to actually start having a life of his own, holy shit this is the point where i thought "okay, he's gonna get better and he and tony are gonna work shit out" i was incredibly wrong

tokidokifish once he moved out of the city, tony finally moved on with his life and started seeing another dude this is fifteen years after they got divorced, by the way

tokidokifish and they come up to drop peter off at steve's house and tony and steve end up alone together and tony has finally just had enough and tells steve that he's going to marry his new boyfriend and he's going to cut off contact with steve as well, which like... i entirely endorse but even in this situation, with what is obviously a great boyfriend, tony says he'll drop it all and come back to steve in a fucking HEARTBEAT if he asks cue Martyr Mode tony does not come back more fucking power to him, really

audreyscorne truly terrible

tokidokifish believe it or not, i still haven't gotten to what i consider the worst part of this mess

audreyscorne GOD

tokidokifish other things happen, and it becomes obvious that peter has grown up to resent steve despite the earlier closeness - i mean the author calls him a douche when he finally snaps and rips steve a new one, but i can't really blame him for being upset when he had to watch one of his dads pine for FIFTEEN YEARS while the other one pretended nothing affected him and moped pretty much constantly and clearly did not pay any particular attention to his son's interests, because they were technology based and he clearly thought that was Tony's Job - one of peter's complaints when he was younger was that cap kept making him do things he wasn't interested in doing and cap acknowledges that he had noticed signs that peter wasn't enjoying himself but just assumed they were some teenage thing fucking nice, cap

tokidokifish anyhow, the worst part of all of this is that steve eventually just goes back into the army and gets drafted into a super black ops program and goes around killing supposedly bad people and even after it's pointed out they have no real way of knowing that these people are actually bad, indicates he doesn't care the penultimate chapter sees him both doing drugs to operate somewhat normally in a civilian environment, because his ptsd is fucking through the fucking roof at this point. and contemplating suicide the last chapter is tagged with steve rogers/tony stark despite the fact the first line is about tony fucking dying

tokidokifish a letter is sent to steve after his death, which one of steve's black ops friends burns without steve actually reading, which he's fine with

tokidokifish and then he runs into peter, who doesn't recognize him, but still has a shitload of resentment for steve and then it ends fuck me

audreyscorne Bad Bad Bad Bad

tokidokifish i had to tell SOMEONE i could not keep the resentment within me

tokidokifish fucking DON'T TAG THE SHIP if they're gonna spend the entire series broken up and miserable until one of them FUCKING DIES while the other one disappears into black ops anonymity because apparently none of the multiple friends that would and HAD follow him into fucking battle were willing to make enough of an effort to help him before he disappeared up his own martyr asshole

tokidokifish like it mentions natasha maybe TWICE

tokidokifish fuck me this person wrote this after winter soldier!

audreyscorne yeah like literally everything with cap seems pretty Wrong

tokidokifish the point is: how does someone watch winter soldier and think "wow, this is a group of friends that would totally let cap just disappear into depression?" jfc they wanted to write steve rogers being miserable and they weren't gonna let anything stop them

tokidokifish which, fine, you do you, but don't fucking drag tony into this and then fucking tag it with the ship

audreyscorne a very ugly exercise

tokidokifish thank you for allowing me to rant about this awful fanfic

audreyscorne but of course this is one of our friendship's foundational activities