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uglypastels · 2 years ago

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Caught Me Slippin' | escort!eddie au

(a/n) yes, this fic is based on the Kiss Quotient, and, therefore also Pretty Woman. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll for me to work on this fic. I had a lot of fun with it! So, even though its a bit all over the place, haha, I hope you still like it.

If you want to see more of this fic, please send an ask and we can chat about it but Do Not Ask For Part 2. This is a One Shot.

Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

Word count: 13.2k

Warnings: SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. dual POV. rich!female!reader. shorter than Eddie. self-consciousness. slight miscommunication - quickly resolved. swearing. drinking. awkwardness. [mention of infidelity, side characters]. non-monogamous relationship. smut. male sex work (obviously). slight dom! Eddie. inexperienced!reader. mentions of bdsm- bondage, sadomasochism. nipple piercings. nipple play. fingering. oral (f receiving). light pussy slapping. Eddie has an innocence kink. I'm probably not representing sex work 100% accurately, but this is [fan]fiction. You should always take it with a grain of salt. + apparently, kind of angsty, idk i guess I'm dead inside.

if you think I'm missing any warnings, please let me know, and I'll add them. if you do not like the sound of any of these- then this is not for you. do not read.

All the errors left unlearned, oh

But I am the luckiest guy

Not the loneliest guy in the world

- David Bowie, The Loneliest Guy

What the hell were you doing?

Sitting at a bar, which was mistake number two. One of many, for that matter. The third was ordering a drink you knew you wouldn’t drink but had picked when panic swooped over you as the bartender walked up. The red liquid looked quite pretty, but you could smell the alcohol the second the girl put the glass in front of you. An attempt at a sip was made, and you brought it to your lips, but the bitterness overwhelmed you.

There was one thing you had gotten right, and that was at least picking a bar that wasn’t crowded. The music played at just the right volume, and people kept to themselves, to their booths and their tables. You tried to let your mind wander off, not to overthink– that would only cause more anxiety– but it always went back to what the people around you were talking about. You never meant to be nosy, and you never butted in… but it was entertaining what random strangers had to say to each other.

— You’re shitting me.

— No, I’m serious. Sarah told me herself. She walked in, and there he was, fucking their pool boy.

The table behind you erupted in a chorus of gasps.

— Poor Sarah, though.

— Yeah, well, she had been sleeping with her yoga instructor.

How were people so comfortable talking about such things in public? Where everyone could listen in? You almost felt bad for this Sarah that her complicated marriage was being shared with the entirety of this small bar, surely then retold all across the city.

You glanced around you, side to side. The bar counter was quite long, with enough space for eight barstools to stand next to each other. Besides yours, four more were occupied. Having opted for the last chair, you were worried about someone sitting on one of your neighbouring chairs, but luck had been in your favour.

That is, until he showed up.

Your first, and probably, the biggest mistake that you made that night.

♤

From the second that Eddie sat down beside her, he could tell something was wrong. He always could with such things. As well as assume what might have been the cause of the problem.

Her eyes widened, nearly doubled in size, as he sat down next to her. He couldn’t have made a mistake; she had sent what she would look like and be wearing, and the description was accurate. She should have known what Eddie would look like as well; that’s basically what the whole selection was based on, look, and yet… the way she stared at him… he had the urge to wave his hand in front of her to make sure she wasn’t going into shock.

‘Hey,’ instead, he opted for a kind smile as he leaned against the bar, asking for a quick confirmation of her name, and took a moment to take her in properly while she defrosted and returned to reality. She was cute, to his surprise, definitely not the type he would usually be coming across these nights. Pretty and young, but mostly, shy. The bar was definitely not in her comfort zone, and he had picked up on that the second he noticed het sitting there, back stiff in nerves, drink untouched except for the little straw she stirred around in circles mindlessly. At first, he thought, maybe it’s all an act. The shy and naive girl next door, he was into it, but no. Now he knew better; she was terrified.

A few seconds later, when his eyes moved back up to her face, she spoke her first words.

‘Who are you?’

♤

There had been a mistake. There must have been. Whoever the guy sitting next to you was, he was not the guy you had paid for.

Jesus that sounded so stupid. How could you have been so dumb thinking it was a good idea to hire a guy for the night. As if that would make you feel better, make all your problems disappear.

The man blinked in confusion. Your reaction had clearly been a surprise. As he stumbled over his words, you took him in quickly.

Long brown hair fell over his shoulders in messy waves. He had layered up, but not for practicality. You couldn’t see how the leather jacket or the denim vest over a thin t-shirt would help him against the evening cold, not to mention his ribbed jeans. Overall he looked like he had been directly cut out of an 80s rock magazine. Sure, some women must be into that kind of look; you couldn’t even deny he was pretty attractive, but it was not what you had wanted. Not for now. You needed something simple. Comfortable. Easy.

Those large rings and metal chains were most definitely not comfortable. Or simple. Or easy.

Oh god.

♤

‘I’m Eddie,’ he stated, hoping it would clear something up, but her confused stare didn’t falter. ‘Didn’t you book…’ Eddie knew all the people around him were poking their noses into everyone’s business, so he tried to pick his words wisely, ‘... the appointment?’ Fuck, did he walk up to the wrong girl? He knew it would have been too good to be true to get an actual girl his age. People always lied on these forms. He was ready to apologise and walk away, but she answered.

‘I did.’ Her eyes wavered again over him. ‘But not you. There must have been some kind of mistake, I–’

‘Is everything good here?’ The bartender walked up, towel across her shoulder, her piercing blue eyes digging right through Eddie. Her question had been directed at the girl, and she nodded quickly.

‘All good, just a little misunderstanding.’

‘Alright then,’ The bartender sent Eddie another suspicious look before heading to the other side of the counter to take another order. This was fucking fantastic. Yeah, just great.

♤

‘Ok, so who did you think you were meeting?’ Eddie asked when the woman behind the bar walked away, slightly backing away from you, letting his shoulders fall.

You tried to remember the name of the guy who caught your attention last evening. Would the name mean anything to Eddie? You didn’t expect all these guys to hang around together...

‘Shit, yeah, ok, that makes sense.’ You could see all the puzzle pieces coming together behind his eyes. ‘He’s out on a date tonight as well. They must have sent us each other’s… wait,’ he quickly grabbed his phone.

♤

Eddie searched through his emails. It didn’t take long to ignore the few spam messages he had gotten since this morning. And there it was. The booking confirmation he had received. Having gotten them so often, he had read it on autopilot, not even realising that his own name was missing. All he had needed, he thought, was his client’s information. But there it was, literally the first two words of the email: Dear Steve…

Oh, the office would have a field day with this.

But some of him also could not wait to ask Steve how his date went.

♤

‘Yeah, they fucked it up,’ after a few seconds, Eddie had turned his phone around to show you an email. Even though you only needed the first two words to understand the mistake that occurred, you took the time to read as much of it as possible to make sure it was real. From what you could tell, it seemed legit. Just what business operated solemnly through emails… and apparently, not even automated ones.

‘I’m really sorry for the inconvenience,’ Eddie apologised as he pulled his phone back and placed it into his pocket. ‘I can call the office and get you a refund. I promise you that this is usually nothing of the standard we usually operate at.’ You appreciated his professionalism. Despite never thinking you were that judgemental, perhaps you had actually judged him a bit too harshly at first glance. And he was quite attractive…

‘No, wait,’ you stopped him before he could dial the number of his boss, or whoever was in charge. ‘Uhm… did your… friend… send you something? About his date?’ Steve was now, of course, also on the wrong job. Eddie looked up at you for a second, before glancing down again at his phone to check his notifications.

‘No, haven’t heard anything from him. I guess the other person didn’t seem to care which one of us they got.’ he chuckled, which surprised you. Did other people not care about who they slept with? You get to pick a person for a reason, don’t you?

‘I don’t need a refund.’ You stated after a short moment. Eddie glanced up once more.

‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money–’

‘No, I mean, I would like to continue the night… with you.’ This was, for sure, getting out of your comfort zone, right? Being adventurous, getting a life, all that shit your friends nagged you about for years. Eddie smiled with the corner of his mouth.

‘Alright then, would you like to get out of here?’

‘Yes, please,’ you let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the volume in the space picked up quite a lot as more people entered, drowning out your conversation, but it was getting a bit too much for you. ‘Just… one minute.’ you stood up, heading to the bathroom, but Eddie called your attention for one more second.

‘You forgot your purse.’ he looked down at the ground where your bag was lying. You gave him an awkward smile and picked it up before making your way to the back of the bar.

Closing the stall door behind you, you wished for some decent internet; thankfully, it wasn’t the worst. You didn’t bother trying to be quick about it. There was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were looking him up online. With shaking hands, you typed in the name of the agency where you had found Steve. They had a list of all their “models”, as they nicely labelled them, and you scrolled through them. There was the guy you had planned on spending the night with. You had picked him because he looked sweet, and hot, obviously, but with enough cockiness thrown in the mix to tell you he knew what he was doing. And the little sales pitch the website had written up for him to sell the fantasy worked well. You didn’t bother rereading it now, but it was something to do with “the sweet jock that knows how to take care of his girl”. It was extremely cheesy, you were more than aware of that, but cheesy was good. It was safe.

Your friends would have probably laughed at you.

They probably would have picked out a guy like Eddie.

Speaking of the guy waiting for you at the bar, you found his profile. First thing first, the picture. That was definitely him; you recognised the unruly dark hair and brown eyes. He had several photos posted in his profile, like most of the men on the website, and they were of semi-professional quality: self-taken, but with a very nice camera and lighting. He had put effort into his presentation. First, there was the portrait, showing his handsome face, shirtless but cropped to the shoulder, revealing enough of the silver chain around his neck but not showing what was actually hanging off it.

The following picture was a full-body pose, with clothes on that were not significantly different from the ones he was wearing now. No denim vest, but a different leather jacket on top of a black shirt. Dark denim jeans with a belt, buckled by what looked like to be steel handcuffs… had he been wearing that tonight as well?

Your throat tightened up as you swiped to the next post, which was, of course, the obligatory nude. All the “models” had to have them, since that was basically what people paid for. If it wasn’t for the fact that the site saw itself as one of the “classier” agencies out there, the naked pictures would have been the only ones available. You, for one, appreciated the variety.

Eddie was posed on a bed, on his knees. With one hand in his hair, and the other over his thigh, he didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Despite not even looking at the camera, the smug smile on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He got you looking, and he knew you liked it. Yet, what you couldn’t stop looking at were the tattoos that covered his pale skin. Dozens of them, at least, varying in size and style, covering most of his arms, upper legs, ribs…

You scrolled on, remembering he was still waiting for you outside, but the next picture didn’t make anything better.

It had been a session shot. You had stumbled across similar ones on your initial look at the website. The men posing out the act of some kind of intercourse. Different positions, different actions, whatever described their style in the profession. For Eddie, that included the shot of a naked woman in bed, the same bed in which he had taken the previous picture. Her limbs were spread apart, tied to the bed corners. Her eyes were covered with a black and white bandana, and the rest of the features tightened in bliss as Eddie was positioned between her legs. His mouth was right at her core. If that wasn’t enough, he had put some props up on display next to the woman; some extra handcuffs, a vibrator and what you assumed to be a flogger.

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

♤

She returned after a few minutes, and Eddie could immediately tell his assumption was right. The poor thing couldn’t look him in the face. She sat back down on the barstool, holding onto her purse, lip between her teeth and eyes on anything but him. Yeah, she had looked him up.

In all honesty, he thought it was a good thing. He didn’t care for people who didn’t do their research into things. Saying that, as quite a spontaneous person, you couldn’t jump into things head first all the time. Sometimes, it was important to test the waters. Make sure there were no sharks swimming around.

‘I paid for your drink,’ Eddie remembered. She looked at him, stunned.

‘Oh, you really didn’t have to.’ Did she seem apologetic?

‘Please, its the least I can do, for, you know, being the wrong guy and all.’ He smiled, hoping she would return the favour. The corner of her mouth curved up the smallest amount, still quite unsure of the situation.

‘Really, I–’ she was ready to get her wallet, most likely pay him back, but Eddie stopped her by placing his hand over hers. That made her freeze, look back up at him. Eddie felt two pairs of eyes on him. Hers, and the bartender behind him, most definitely reassessing the whole situation. Everything about this evening was going to shit. He could probably wave his perfect 5-star rating goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he for sure as hell was not going to get put on any registers tonight. However, trying to seduce a stranger into bed with him when he is so clearly not the type for this girl… why was he even trying so hard?

He didn’t like using the term “vanilla”, it got too much of a bad rep, but that is what she seemed to be. Her clothes weren’t flashy, not even considering for “outgoing”. She wasn’t the type to go out and hook up, let alone get an escort. He wasn’t surprised she had decided to go for a guy like Steve. But Steve wasn’t here; Eddie was. He now had the job of taking care of this girl in any way she wanted him to.

‘Ok, shall we?’ She took a deep breath as she got up.

‘Are you–’ maybe they should talk about this? He didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

‘C’mon,’ next thing he knew, she grabbed Eddie by the wrist and whisked him off the barstool, dragging him along outside. It was early in the year, but late in the evening. The air was crispy, and the wind blew harshly. Eddie had definitely not dressed warm enough for the night, but that would have been an understatement for her. She would freeze in a few minutes.

‘I got a room in the hotel just across the corner,’ she spoke, rather determined. Some people might have mistaken it for confidence, but Eddie saw the other signs. Her clenched jaw, her consistent avoidance of eye contact… she was putting on a brave face. And that’s how people get into situations they don’t want to be in.

If it had been warmer, he would have stopped them on the street, but he had to get her out of the cold, so he let the girl drag him across the sidewalk to the hotel's entrance. It was big. The warm lighting reflecting off of all the decor, giving it a golden glow.

She did not stop walking until they reached the elevator. She clicked the button, and the arrow above the doors pointed down. The numbers slowly descended from 14.

‘I know you looked me up.’ Eddie started, having no idea how to introduce the topic fluently.

‘Ok.’ She was biting her lip nervously.

‘So I know you know what my usual gig is.’ They both watched the numbers go down. 7… 6…

‘So we’re on the same page.’ She glanced up at him; he could see it in the reflection of the metal doors.

‘I don’t think we are.’ The elevator pinged open as Eddie said so. They walked inside.

‘What do you mean?’ She finally looked him in the eye, only momentarily, but he saw that some of her fear slowly faded as she pressed the button to her floor. 15.

‘That, yes, I usually am pretty rough with my clients,’ he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, but could anyone blame him? He enjoyed his work. ‘But that’s because they want me to be rough.’ He looked at her intensely. Not to intimidate her, but to show her the seriousness of his words. ‘I don’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. You paid for an evening with… well, not me, but it’s all the same. If you get your money’s worth from a good pounding, I’m more than happy to oblige. From cuddling and watching a movie? All fine by me.’

♤

It’s all the same.

But it wasn’t, was it? They weren’t all the same.

‘What about you?’ you asked just as the elevator opened on your floor. Eddie let you walk through first. Now, you couldn’t look away from him, letting your head almost spin around a whole 360 to get your glance at him.

‘What about me?’ He had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be anything scary about him. His hair was soft. His jacket, while not exactly winter-weather proof, looked cozy. The patches on his vest were hand sawn. With an image of him sitting at home, sewing them on, one by one, you got a sudden urge to ask about them, but who did that? Surely, in your situation, questions like that were out of bounds.

‘What do you like?’

‘That doesn’t matter,’ he chuckled, which confused you.

‘Doesn’t it? I might not be the most knowledgeable about the whole sex thing, but… shouldn’t both people involved be getting off? Doesn’t that make it better?’ You had reached your door. Weirdly, from having focused on the conversation as you walked, you didn’t feel any nerves unlocking the door. The room was dark, and you switched the light on. The nerves still didn’t bubble up. You could do it.

‘I suppose so– wait, you’re not a virgin, are you?’

You shook your head no.

‘Ok. not that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone’s living life at their own pace, I just don’t feel comfortable with that kind of responsibility. No one’s first time should be with….’

‘A professional?’ you raised your eyebrow, suggesting a possibly more classy term for what he wanted to say.

‘Nice.’ He smiled, and made his way over to the bed. You watched him get comfortable on the edge as you took off your light jacket. Your arms were freezing from the cold air outside, but the hotel room was cosy. Not to mention, the nerves were heating you up once more by the second. This was it. Eddie spread his legs wide, almost calling for your eyes to look at his thighs and how they stretched the material of the jeans.

When your eyes moved back up to his face, you were terrified to see that he was staring right back at you, devouring you with his gaze. He definitely saw you checking him out. But it was becoming harder to concentrate when you looked at how his large hand grazed over the faint stubble on his face.

‘C’mere,’ he said with a nod, and thoughtlessly, you followed his order. Eddie took you by both hands once you were close enough and placed them on his shoulders, then let his hands settle on your waist. His eyes found yours for a quick check. When you gave him the green light with a smile, he immediately mirrored it and asked: ‘what were your plans for this magical evening?’ He briefly tightened his grip on you and kept moving his hands up and down lightly as you tried to respond. As if that wasn’t hard enough with his eyes staring deep into you.

‘No, uhm, nothing special.’ You didn’t need special. Special meany complicated, and you just needed someone to help you out with the basics.

‘Making it special is kind of my one job, you know,’ he pulled you in for a hug so that his face was only a few inches away from your stomach. His arms now enveloped your frame, hands comfortably positioned over your ass. A complete stranger was hiking up the hem of your shirt, touching your bare skin underneath it. ‘So, what is it that you want?’ When he pulled up enough of your shirt to actually reveal the skin underneath, he placed a soft kiss on your side. That feeling alone felt electric. He kept on leaving fluttering kisses over your middle. It was a strange sensation as well as a pleasing one. So simple, and yet it had a great effect that you couldn’t quite explain.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to concentrate on Eddie’s question as his kisses continued. What did you want from this night? But should you tell him the complete truth? Wasn’t there some way to avoid the embarrassing details? Then again… how could he ever help you with your needs if he didn’t know what they were?

‘I want…’ you gasped lightly when his teeth grazed your skin. For some reason, that pushed you over the edge to just put everything you worried about out there. You were already here, in this hotel room, with him. Fuck it.

♤

‘I want you to help me be good at sex.’

Eddie didn’t mean to stop. He saw in her reaction that that had been the wrong thing to do. She must have seen his widened eyes and taken it for judgement, while really, it had just been a small surprise. He wasn’t exactly used to people asking him to teach them how to have sex.

‘Sorry, uhm, nevermind. Just ignore me.’ She scratched at her neck while looking away. That won’t do. Eddie had to fix this before they would do anything else.

‘No, wait. Let’s… let’s talk this through for a moment.’ He led her by the hand and let her sit on the bed next to him. ‘Get comfortable. Is there anything in the minibar?’ he noticed the small fridge in the closet across the room and hoped she would understand his question to ask permission to use the service provided in the room.

‘Go ahead, take anything you want.’

‘Living large, are we?’ He cocked his brow before making his way over to the minibar. The selection of drinks was quite understated for a place like they were in. two cheap beers, a small bottle of champagne and two sodas. From what he had gathered at the bar, she didn’t seem to be a big drinker, so he grabbed a beer and a soda can. ‘Here.’

‘Oh, thanks.’ She didn’t look up at him as she took the can from him. Fuck, what was she embarrassed for? He doubted she would speak up in the conversation by herself, so just started out with a question. ‘Why do you think you need help with sex?’ She said she wasn’t a virgin, so she’s had experience. With a glance at her hands, he saw no ring or sign of regular wear of one. That, of course, didn’t exclude the option of a boyfriend or a partner. Maybe even a guy she just wanted to impress. The possibilities were endless, and for some strange reason, at the thought of her having sex with someone else, a strange feeling started gnawing at Eddie’s guts.

‘Because I’ve had sex a few times and so far it’s been awful.’ She sighed. ‘But I know that, to get better at it, I would have to go and endure endless dates to find a guy who would want to sleep with me, but then what if I do meet a great guy but just put him off because I’m shit in the sack?’

‘Don’t you believe that, if you did really find the right guy, he would help you? Or not even mind your alleged lack of skills “in the sack”?’ Eddie asked, taking a sip of beer. She just looked at him with a look that told him everything. Right. Men are egoistic scum. She had a point.

‘Sorry, you must think I’m insane.’ She tapped on the top of the can. The metal ticking sounded hollow in the quiet room.

‘I really don’t.’ If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a moral spine, he would have happily told her about some of his other clients.

‘Yeah, but I’m just wasting your time talking your ears off with absolute nonsense,’ she tried to laugh at it, lessen the tension.

Eddie leaned over the bed on his elbow. ‘Don’t you know that escorts are the new therapists?’

‘Wasn’t that bartenders?’

‘I brought you your drink, didn’t I? Call it a 2-for-1 combo deal.’ He put his beer in the air for a toast and took another sip. ‘And I was serious earlier. You already paid for the whole night, so I’m all yours, sweetheart’ He hoped that didn’t sound dismissive. The last thing he wanted to do (again) was to upset or offend this girl, who genuinely looked and seemed amazing. The idea of her not being able to find someone for herself, having to go down the process of finding someone like him to make her feel good…

‘Are all the guys at your agency this nice?’ she looked up from the lip of her can, bringing his mind back into the room.

‘No, Steve is a giant dick,’ Eddie laughed.

‘Right, while you have one,’ she teased.

‘Ha. Funny.’ He pointed at her in appreciation before taking a sip of the beer. ‘But I suppose you’re not wrong.’ She had seen his pictures; she knew what he had in stock. He wondered what she thought of it– sure, she might not have been ready for his regular repertoire, but that didn’t mean “never”. But what he wanted to know the most, which felt like the biggest surprise, was what did she think of him? For the first time since he started this gig, he wondered what she thought of his appearance. Did she like his tattoos? Was his hair too long, maybe? Were his clothes too shabby? Perhaps it was because she had not actually picked him. She had chosen Steve.

Oh, Stevie. They couldn’t be more different.

‘Are you sure you’re ok with me… being here?’

♤

‘I am.’ You didn’t know what else to reply to that question. Of course, the night was not going anything like you had expected. Until two hours ago, you were planning to have some alright sex with, what you could describe as a “regular hot guy”. Instead, you were on the bed, fully clothed, drinking a coke next to a Metallica reject. Was it too late to still do any of the things you had initially paid for, or was the mood entirely ruined? Did people recover from going into highly personal and dramatic tangents in front of the escort they had hired?

‘Ok, cool. Just… making sure. Fair warning, I might do that a few more times through the night.’ The idea of still having an entire night to spend with Eddie made you really happy. Even if you didn’t know what to do with him in this small room. With a large king-sized bed in the middle, and not much else but the essential hotel decor, the room was perfect for exactly the reason you had booked it and not much else.

Just as you thought it was getting a bit too quiet between the two of you and had wanted to speak up with a question, Eddie opened his mouth to say something as well. So you also simultaneously apologised and let the other person say their piece.

‘No, go ahead,’ you nudged him. Whatever he had to say would probably lead the conversation better.

‘I was just wondering, when you said “help be good with sex”, which aspect are we talking about here? Just regular? Oral? Foreplay? Like, what are we talking about here?’

‘Uhm, pretty much everything.’ You winced at yourself. So far, all your attempts at intercourse had been not great. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable. The guys would get what they were there for and didn’t feel the need to wait around for more. And if it kept on happening, then the math was simple, wasn’t it? Just look at what the overlapping factor was in all the situations. It was eventually your friends one night, after a few bottles of wine, who suggested the idea of just hiring a guy to teach you what to do. It would be so much easier. No feelings, and they know what they are doing. Foolproof plan.

And somehow, you still managed to make things complicated and weird.

♤

‘Now see, I don’t believe that,’ Eddie smiled. There was no way she didn’t know how to do anything. Especially since most of it was just pure instinct. There is a reason why people call it “messing around”, and it’s not because of any guide or formula that one should be working off of to get it right.

‘Well, then you should ask the other guys.’ Again with that little smile, trying to undermine her own feelings.

‘No, fuck them. I bet they didn’t even make you cum.’ He accused. Her lack of response was enough of an answer. Eddie could bet his entire wage that she thought it was her fault they didn’t get her to climax and that… that actually pissed him off. How often had he had his clients tell him how their husbands, the men supposed to take care of them, never bothered to fulfil their one simple and honestly fucking delicious duty? A thought sparked in his mind, and he couldn’t keep back the grin that sprouted up with it.

‘What?’ she asked at the sight of his smile.

‘Have you ever?’

‘Ever what?’

‘Had a climax?’

‘Oh,’ the way she got shy talking about it, to Eddie’s embarrassment, turned him on. The best thing was they didn’t even have to play pretend. ‘I mean, I think?’

‘You think?’ He raised an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, sorry,’ she cleared her throat, ‘Uhm… I’ll just be right back.’ And having said that, she ran to the bathroom.

As she closed the door, Eddie pondered on the idea of undressing. It would speed things up, possibly breaking the icy wall that closed her off. With one naked person in the room, it was hard to think about much else, which meant less to worry about. But he didn’t think she would actually appreciate it. No, she needed to take it slow. And he would happily guide her through it all.

♤

You splashed some cold water in your face. There had been no reason for you to run out of the room like that except for being a total chicken. The way Eddie was so open and comfortable, talking about all of that… brought out a new fear in you. One you didn’t know you had. One you couldn’t even identify. You just knew you had to get out from under his gaze. Those big brown honey-glazed eyes.

Why the hell did you leave the room? He was sitting so close to you. Your legs were nearly touching. He still sat with his legs spread, basically inviting you to get between them. And what do you do? Run away.

You splashed some more water onto your face.

There wasn’t much makeup on your face to begin the night, and whatever you had left of your mascara and blush was wiped off with the towel you grabbed. One more look in the mirror to ensure no grey ink streaks down your cheeks, and you were ready to get out again.

Just one big breath in. and out.

The bathroom door handle moved silently, and you pulled the door open to be met with Eddie’s chest. He was standing right in front of you.

‘Oh, hi.’

‘Hey, just wanted to make sure you were ok in there.’ He knocked on the door frame in a delayed manner for extra effect. Knock knock. You noticed he had taken off his vest and jacket. Just in his t-shirt now. The sleeves ended right at his biceps, revealing the sleeves of tattoos he hid underneath all those removed layers.

‘So are you alright?’ he asked when you didn’t respond to what he had said earlier. The question pulled your thoughts out of the clouds and your head up to look him in the eye.

‘Yeah, yeah, just…’ your mouth was extremely dry. One more second and no words would be leaving it ever again. It was just gonna have to come out now. Then, with a quick exhale, you admitted. ‘I’ve never had an orgasm.’ From Eddie’s reaction, it didn’t seem to have been any news to him. Like it was the most normal conversation, which, given his job, it probably was. You tried to ignore the thought of him and the many women he must have helped.

‘Well, I would be more than honoured to change that for you.’ He took a step forward, and the proximity forced you to look up at him to see his eyes.

‘Is that a rehearsed line?’ Apparently, your one outburst of truth led to the pandora’s box in your brain, and now you couldn’t shut up, saying the first thing that came to your mind. And unfortunately, it was still filled with the images of him with other people; him making all of them feel ecstatic.

Luckily, Eddie laughed at your presumption. His head tilted back, and when it came back down, and his eyes were once again locked in with yours, his lips pulled up into a smirk. One of his hands found its way up to your cheek before he leaned in. you were ready for him to kiss you, but instead, his breath lingered over your skin. So close that you should have been able to touch him, and maybe you did. Because there was something that made your mind a thick haze, impossible to navigate through. Everything spun around you except for Eddie.

‘So what if I did rehearse it?’ his words hit your jaw as he hovered over you, then whispering directly into your, he asked: ‘What if I’ve already planned 10 different ways in which I want to make you writhe underneath me? Would you mind that?’ Would you mind?

Whatever for?

In a shaky breath, you spoke the only thing you could think of at the moment.

‘Kiss me.’

♤

Eddie didn’t need to be told twice.

He must have been grinning like an idiot, and he could only hope it didn’t put her off as he brought their lips together and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately.

The hair around her face was slightly wet, as was her jaw, telling him she had just spent the last minute splashing water in her face. She tasted sweet, like the coke she had been drinking earlier.

Her hand crept up to his collar, shyly grabbing at it and pulling it down, revealing the slightest inch of the tattoo on his clavicle. Not that she would see it, having closed her eyes the second their lips connected.

Eddie let one of his hands find its way back to her waist. Holding on to each other, they stumbled back onto the bed. She let out a whimper as Eddie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell backwards, taking her right down with him.

It was a slow tear-away, leaving both in a haze. Eddie watched her sit up straight, straddling him and keeping him locked. If she moved, she would feel how hard he was getting.

‘I assume kissing was not on the agenda of the lesson?’ He brushed some of his hair out of his face.

‘Well, if you have any tips–’ she tugged at the bottom of her shirt. A nervous habit, probably, but all Eddie could think about was how he wanted that material as far away from her as possible.

‘You’re joking, right?’ She must have been. The kiss, though brief, had been… he felt alive after it. His chest was tight as he caught his breath. ‘Fuck, c’mere.’ He pulled her right back. It might have only been one kiss, but it had been more than enough for him. He was already hooked.

♤

His lips were slightly chapped, but not in any way to make you feel uncomfortable. Nothing that some chapstick before going out into the cold couldn’t solve. You could smell the bitter beer he had just drank, and despite the drink having been cooled, it brought a warmth out in you. This heat swam over your cheeks and the parts of you that he held close. His hands were now back to playing with your shirt. The material was creeping up over your stomach, up up up…

♤

‘Can you take your shirt off first, please?’ she asked nervously once the second kiss parted. Her small voice sent sparks flying down Eddie’s body, directly to his dick.

‘Yeah, ‘course.’ All he could do was smile. She shuffled down his legs to give him space and remove the shirt. There was no way she didn’t feel how tight he was getting in his trousers, but she didn’t show any reaction to it, eyes focused on his chest. Eddie looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten about those.

‘You have piercings?’

He kept on forgetting to update his pictures on the website. It was such a hassle. Taking the time to plan it all in, preferably with someone else, so he could have some action shots. There was the editing, and then he would have to send them into the office so someone could actually upload them… he just couldn’t be bothered. As much as he was meant to keep his clients aware of what they were paying for, it was selfish of him to love their surprised reactions. Just now, the way her eyes immediately locked in on them in surprise. How her hand lightly fought against reaching for him.

‘You can touch them. It doesn’t hurt.’ He took her hand and placed it right over his chest. She immediately regained control over her body, and her finger lightly traced over the silver bar. Eddie’s body tightened for a second in bliss. ‘See? It feels fucking good, actually.’ He hadn’t meant to whisper the words out or for them to be so shaky. It was supposed to be a light joke to keep the tension away, yet it pulled the atmosphere down to something intense and sultry. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare her away.

But she smiled and leaned in again for a featherlight kiss. Fuck, she could kiss. It was like a gift from the gods themselves. A little piece of heaven. If this was how she kissed every guy, Eddie couldn’t comprehend how they didn’t line up for more. And then her hand kept moving, slowly tracing the ink on his body. Her fingernails grazed over the drawings. Perhaps it was a placebo, but he had always considered the tattoos to be more sensitive than the rest of him. The soft touches made him shake in need of her.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, nearly out of breath, mind spiralling with everything he wanted to do to her. He couldn’t keep it in a straight line anymore. Meanwhile, he was supposed to be the professional here. Meanwhile, she expected him to teach her… he was absolutely fucked.

And then her following words only made his situation worse.

‘Just tell me what to do, Eddie.’ Somehow, he missed the exact moment when her lips travelled down to his jaw. It must have been some kind of joke– there was no way this incredible woman did not know what she was doing.

‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned. He actually groaned. Eddie never did that during his sessions. It just wasn’t something he thought he could do with his clients. It turns out he had never been this turned on by any of them.

It made sense. How often did he think up hour scenarios before meeting the ladies? How often did he imagine he was with someone else? He had thought that maybe, because of the rules of his job and the frequency of his sessions, that maybe sex just wasn’t really anything for him. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job or regretted ever going into the business… money was good, and he was good at what he did. Yet, it was still a job. And jobs could often tire a person out. Maybe he had become desensitised to it all.

But this proved all of his theories wrong. He was entirely in the moment. Aware of everything that was happening between him and her. Nothing between them was new, or necessarily exciting, and yet it felt like nothing he had felt before. Nothing but kissing sent him down a road he could never return from.

And now she wanted him to tell her what to do. Yes, in the teaching context, he understood. But was she even aware that this would not be that far from the ordinary things he did in his sessions if they had just removed that context? Just add in some leather and handcuffs.

‘Take your clothes off, baby.’ He spoke softly, not wanting to roll back into his regular role. This wasn’t that, he reminded himself. He didn’t want it to be that.

When she started to pull her shirt up, he quickly took over. ‘No, wait, go slower. Take your time.’ Fuck, please take your time, he internally cried out. He didn’t want this night to end. It all felt like a dream, and he didn’t want to get dressed and wake up. He didn’t want to leave because once he did, coming back was not an option for him.

♤

You followed his instruction, slowly pulling your shirt over your head. Focusing on him. Looking at him prevented you from getting too much into your head. After all, it was hard to think or worry about anything with someone like him, half-naked, under you. You traced his tattoos. They were all black and white, the ink scratchy and uneven on most as if done at home.

Not precisely stick and poke, but not from a studio either. A pull at your heartstrings made you think of how much money you had paid. How much he needed that money… See, hard to think of your own insecurities when looking at him.

Eddie moved up to lean on his elbow. You were sitting still for too long; he must have sensed something was off. With a gentle touch, he stroke your bare skin. You were both shirtless, though you still had your bra on; his hand was sneakily moving up to the strap over your back, ready to unclasp it.

‘What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart.’ It must be some kind of trick he was pulling, something he learned over his experience on the job because of the way your whole body fluttered at the sound of the little nickname… it must be a trick. But there was nothing you could complain about either.

Once again, your mouth worked faster than your brain, and before you could tell yourself to shut up, you answered with the first question that came to your mind. ‘Do you do anything else… besides this?’ a second later, before he even had the time to react, you butted in with your own response. ‘That is probably way out of bounds. Sorry–’

‘Only a little bit,’ he was taking it lightly with a chuckle. Clearly, with no intention of stopping what the two of you had been doing, he littered your jaw and neck with kisses between his answer. ‘I’m in a band. But garage gigs don’t exactly pay the bills.’ You felt him tremble with a laugh against your neck. Eddie had by then sat up and kept you in place on his lap with a tight hold. As he kept kissing you, you let your body speak for itself, closing your eyes and trusting your instincts. Somehow you knew what felt right and what didn’t. Your hips moved of their own accord, grinding against Eddie. You tried not to think about what you were doing, knowing you would just start to freak out and freeze. Instead, you thought of Eddie on stage with his band, imagining him in all the different positions, trying to figure out which instrument fit him best.

As if he could read your mind, he said, ‘I play guitar.’ His hand had now officially made its mark on your bra, grabbing the backstrap, and wringing it until it unclasped.

‘That’s hot.’

‘Yeah?’ The bra snapped open. Eddie took it upon himself to slide the straps off your arms. You threw the item off to the side of the room, and Eddie didn’t waste a second to bring his attention to your breast.

♤

Had no one ever touched her properly?

All that Eddie did was kiss her tits, and she was almost coming undone. He felt a pang of terrible guilt on behalf of his entire sex. How the fuck did no one make her feel good… not only that. How did men make her feel as if she was the problem? That she had to step her game up and learn. If he ever got his hands on one of those assholes– woah. Calm down.

♤

‘Yeah,’ you gasped out the small word. ‘So- so hot.’ It was hard to keep a sentence straight when he had his full attention on your nipples.

One preoccupying his lips, while the other was cupped by his large hand. He was rough in his touches, pulling and squeezing, but not in any way that felt too much. On the contrary, you needed more. More of him.

He switched from one breast to the other in his movements. Then when he pulled away, he kissed you again. Then, he looked you in the eyes, a false seriousness covering his features.

‘So, let that be lesson one: foreplay. Extremely important before any kind of sex.’

‘But… I didn’t do anything?’ You blinked. It was true, wasn’t it? He had been doing most of the work; meanwhile, you hadn’t done anything for him. But Eddie frowned.

‘Oh, baby, you did plenty.’ His hand reached down to his own trousers. ‘You feel this?’ When you hesitated, he took your hand to guide it over his crotch, where you could clearly feel the outline of his dick. ‘Yeah, that’s all you, sweetheart.’ He was so cocky, so confident.

He kept on talking. ‘And let me ask you one more question.’ For this, he leaned in to almost whisper the words against your hot skin. ‘Are you wet?’

‘I don’t know.’

Eddie clicked his tongue in disapproval. ‘I think you do know, but let me check then, hmm?’ You weren’t sure how he did it, but he brought you underneath his body in one fell swing. You were now lying on the bed, and he slid down to sit on his knees at the end of the bed. ‘Professional opinion and all, right?’

‘Right.’ You hid your face in your hands to laugh. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

Eddie reached for your hands, making you look down at him.

‘I wanna see your pretty face.’ But, God, speaking of pretty faces, his smile might have been one of the most beautiful sights in the world. He could have been a model, probably… and yet…

You didn’t want to look at him, however, when he started unzipping your trousers. The button opened up, and you heard the zipper move down, releasing the tension of the material around your waist. Eddie tapped your hip, telling you to move them up. Once you did so, with one big tug, he pulled the pants down to the middle of your thighs with one big tug. It took him three more to get them off entirely. The next second, the trousers were in the corner of the room, along with your shirts.

‘Oh, baby,’ his syllables were long, dramatic, playful. ‘You are fucking soaking through these.’ You felt your back stiffen at the feeling of his fingers on you. Two, his pointer and middle fingers, slowly tracing down over the thin cotton. Then he’d roll them back up, letting his knuckles press the slit.

‘Fuck, can’t wait to taste you– can I taste you, baby?’ He asked, eyes pleading you for it.

‘You don’t have to,’ you responded. The air in the room seemed to be turning colder and sent shivers over your arms.

‘I know I don’t have to.’ Eddie scoffed, teasing. ‘Let that be lesson two then: if a guy doesn’t want his mouth near your pussy, then you shouldn’t come anywhere near his dick.’ He growled out the last words, and his hand had such a tight grip on your panties, that, with one quick move, he tore the material in two.

♤

‘Eddie!’ she shouted.

‘Shit, sorry.’ He got too carried away in everything. ‘I’ll pay you back.’ That’s when he glanced down; it was like his memory was instantly wiped. ‘Oh, fuck yes. Fuck you got the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.’ He left a kiss a few inches above it and slowly made his way down. His fingers returned to the slow up-and-down motion he had done before, and each time, he let himself go deeper. Her body tensed up, and breathing hitched in her throat until it came out in a soft moan.

‘That’s right,’ Eddie said before one last kiss on the most crucial spot. And this kiss lasted. After a few seconds, he practically made out with her clit, as his fingers entered her.

That is when her hand reached for his hair. The touch was enough to make him moan against her.

‘Oh fuck,’ she moaned loud, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. Keeping his fingers deep within her, Eddie mused:

‘That’s right, baby. Does it feel good?’

‘So good.’ She dug her nails through his hair, nudging him on to continue whatever he was doing.

♤

Even though you had not meant to pull at his hair, it was all much more of an impulsive action, Eddie groaned out against. He pulled you in closer, sending the vibrations from his body right through yours.

You had expected, thinking up this plan of hiring someone to teach you sex, that it would be much more formal. That the guy would give you step-by-step instructions on how to do things, tell you everything directly, and you would follow. Maybe that is how it would be with anyone else, but with Eddie, he made you feel it. Without saying a word, you knew how to listen to him. Through his reactions, you knew what to do. His moans encouraged you to pull his hair, to close your thighs around him. Meanwhile, your response spurred him to go, let his fingers move harder, his tongue slick deeper through you.

‘Fuck, Eddie, fuck.’ You felt that feeling inside you, the build-up. It wasn’t familiar, for you had only experienced it very few times, mostly on your own. This tension deep within you. It grew, quickly reaching its tipping point.

Eddie’s free hand fastened itself onto your leg; he seemed to have lost himself in you. Then his eyes moved up, locking right with yourself. A part of you wanted to take a picture of what you saw in front of you and cherish the memory forever. His honey-brown eyes glazed in need of you. This spark of all-knowing deviltry.

Your whole body tightened as you felt it coming, tighter and tighter, like a rubber band ready to snap.

But instead, Eddie let go of the band as he pulled away from you to accompany your last moan of his name.

A whimper left your mouth, and pleads were ready to follow it, begging him to not stop. Not now. Just a few more seconds.

‘Lesson number three,’ he wiped his mouth– which was glistening in the room's warm light– with his thumb but never wiping the smug smile off his face. ‘Tease, tease and tease. The longer you keep them waiting, the sweeter their reward will be.’

At this point, you could not imagine it being so sweet, as all you felt was a horribly empty feeling, deflating your insides by the second.

‘Everyone likes that?’ You asked.

‘Hmm, good question.’ Eddie got up to remove his belt. He made a spectacle out of it, sliding the whole strap from between the loops, then throwing it down to the ground. ‘It does probably depend on a person, what their limits are. How much they can last and take.’ Like a showman, he made you watch. Made you wait. ‘I’m sure some people would rather just get on to the final act.’

‘Not me?’ you asked as he pulled his jeans down along with his boxers.

Just like the picture.

‘Hmm,’ with a pondering expression, he fell down onto the mattress beside you. ‘Not you.’

‘What makes you say that?’ It took all your willpower to keep looking into his eyes. He, however, wasn’t as courteous. His eyes roamed over your naked body as his hand found its way back between your legs. A quick snap. He slapped your clit lightly, but it was enough to immediately sent a spark through you, nearly bringing you back to the spot of tension.

‘Just a hunch.’ He slapped you again.

♤

She was so fucking sensitive. Like a little porcelain doll.

For good measure, and the fact he couldn’t get enough of how her body moved when encountering intense pleasure, he gave that pussy a third and final snap. Maybe he would have kept going, he certainly had not felt like stopping any time soon, but it was when her hand reached for his. Fingers around his wrist. Her eyes closed lightly, mouth parted just a tiny bit, enough for her to whisper his name.

‘Eddie.’

‘What’s up, sweetheart,’ he leaned in his lips almost on her cheek again. She didn’t respond. ‘Lesson four: always use words. I don’t know what you really want unless you tell me.’ He left sloppy kisses over her face as he dictated. ‘So? What. Do. You. Want?’ He punctuated each word with a touch

‘Fuck me.’

‘Of course.’ He had expected her to play around with the words, make him pull it out of him, but no. So, he got up and reached for the wallet in his jeans. He should have checked sooner. This had been too much of a risk, but luckily, the silver foil stuck out immediately.

She had sat up again to watch him rip the packaging open.

‘You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now,’ he chuckled to himself whilst pulling the condom out. ‘I have a whole box in my bag with the rest of my stuff.’ He had planned to get it out of his car after meeting her at the bar, but then everything had gone a bit to shit, hadn’t it?

‘I have a box… in my bag,’ she said, for some reason almost embarrassed.

‘Someone’s eager, huh?’ Perhaps he didn’t help, but really, he was talking about himself. Eddie could immediately imagine himself being with her for the rest of the night, the entire fucking week if he could, but something told him that after this— that would most likely be it. It was better not to stretch a good thing out. She paid for him to teach her the basics, not exhaust her to her limits, perhaps scare her off of sex forever.

‘No, I just–’ did she notice he was joking? Either way, she hid her face in her hands, laughing at herself. Eddie took the moment that she wasn’t eating him alive with her eyes to get a few pumps in. it wasn’t even needed; he was rock hard; it was just a routine at this point. He let his head roll back a little back as his hand moved up and down, then got on with putting the condom on.

♤

‘How should we uhm— how do you want—’ you looked for a good way to phrase it as Eddie got back into bed.

‘Anything particular in mind you wanted to get a hang of?’ he asked. You shook your head no. Stupid. You should have done your research. Come more prepared.

But could anything prepare you for Eddie? It didn’t seem likely. You could have come in with a four-volume guide, and he would have probably thrown it out the window and shown you a whole new world.

‘Then we’ll just see where the night takes us, why don’t we?’ He positioned himself on top of you. Arms on each side of your shoulders, stomach hovering over yours. As you both breathed in, you could feel his muscles. He put his weight on one of his forearms as the other hand reached back down between you, moving his fingers in a circular, steady motion.

Too occupied with how good his touch on you felt, there was no real thought going through your mind when you pulled his face closer to you, kissing him deeply. Your noses pushed against one another. Your fingers rooted down between his hair.

Eddie spread your legs wider apart, creating the perfect position for himself.

‘You ok?’ he asked, lips practically still on yours.

‘Mhm.’ You hummed, but Eddie clicked his tongue, pulling away a few inches to look at you a bit more focused.

‘Mm, remember rule four?’

You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think. All you wanted, needed, was him inside you. But you answered: ‘use your words? Let them know what you want.’

‘Good girl,’ he kissed you softly. ‘It also goes for consent. Probably should have made that the first lesson, but what can you do? Make clear what and when you want something. If the guy doesn’t listen– I don’t know, kick him in the nuts.’

‘Got it.’ You nodded.

‘So, let’s try it out.’ He didn’t move, just waited for you to speak.

You took a deep breath. ‘I want you to fuck me, Eddie.’

‘There we go. Feels good, doesn’t it?’ His hand returned to rubbing your clit as he moved around above you, getting in the proper position. ‘Quick lesson five: it’s fucking hot when girls say shit like that. So don’t be afraid to get dirty.’ Slowly and carefully, he let himself sink into you. His length filled you up, spread your walls. It was a perfectly tight fit, making it impossible to hold anything in.

‘Dirty and loud.’ Eddie stayed still, letting you get used to the feeling of him. ‘Don’t hold it in, baby, ok?’

‘O-ok.’ Your breath was shaky. Once used to him, you placed your hand on his chest. His hot breath burned your skin.

Eddie kept a slow pace, letting both of you ease into the rhythm of being together, but eventually, you felt your body loosen up. Finally, it wasn’t enough anymore. Was he holding himself in? Could he tell you needed more but was waiting for you to tell him? Teach you your lesson.

‘More,’ the word was nearly just an exhale, but it was enough for Eddie. He kissed you passionately with a smile, and he plunged deeper inside you. From then on, his thrusts were harder, faster. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over himself. The new change brought in a whole new angle, letting you feel him through your entire body.

The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. Your mind was scattered, so you didn’t even feel your teeth graze over your lips, locking in your voice. But Eddie noticed.

♤

The second he caught it, something in Eddie’s mind switched on. As much as he tried to contain that part of himself, keep it away from her, he couldn’t. It was fucking primal.

He thrust harder than he did before. His hand found its way to her cheek, squeezing it– not too tight, he pulled himself back quickly, but strong enough to show her he meant it– and his words came out in a growl.

‘What did I tell you, baby? Don’t hold it in.’ A few more deep thrusts left both their bodies shaking with each move. ‘I want to hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.’ His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, and, without another word exchanged, she parted those beautiful lips and granted him access.

She fucking moaned around it and sucked her own juices off it. Could she taste the sweetness? He hoped she could. He was jealous of every person that ever got to taste it, but he quickly let that thought sink away as he had more pressing questions.

‘Now, where did you learn that?’ He smiled when he pulled his thumb away, his hips only slightly rearranging the pace as he spoke calmly.

‘Sorry, was that wrong?’ She blinked. Genuine fucking naivete. Eddie could barely hold it in anymore.

‘Only in the sense that it got me this close to blowing my load before you got even close.’ He quickly regained his speed.

From that point on, she didn’t hold back. Her moans were beautiful. The sound of his name comes directly from the centre of her pleasure was like hitting the jackpot. If only he could live off those cute noises, he’d be the wealthiest man on earth. The luckiest. The happiest.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

But shit were her tits a sight for sore eyes. Looking at them, he couldn’t go a second without touching them. For a moment, he got scared he was too rough, but then the claws came out– almost literally. Her nails dug into his back. It would leave marks, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see them when he looked in the mirror the following day.

‘Eddieee,’ it came out so shaky, so desperate. He could tell she was getting close. It took much less than expected. He had a thousand things in his head that he still wanted to do with her, show her, but even he realised then it was wishful thinking. His own words from minutes ago reverberated in his mind.

You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now.

He was ready to burst, and it only took a few minutes in missionary. Usually, he could go for ages.

Then again, he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time.

‘You close, baby?’ He asked and almost hoped to hear yes; Eddie didn’t know how much longer he could last, and if he came before her– he could never live that down.

But she was lost in him, too far down to appropriately respond. That wasn’t good. Eddie slowed down a bit. ‘Hey, hey, you alright?’

♤

‘Yes,’ you took a deep breath, ‘please don’t stop. Not now.’ He was making you feel incredible. In a matter of a few minutes, you felt like you had reached the seventh heaven. Absolute bliss.

But perhaps you didn’t feel how much you actually felt. As good as it was, this overwhelming sensation pulled you away from everything around you. When Eddie brought you back, with the softness of his voice and the touch of his hands, only then you realised how far down you had been.

‘Are you sure? We can take a break.’ Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any signs of trouble, but before he could spiral, you halted him. A few deep breaths were all it took for you to be present.

‘I’m ok. Thank you.’ You kissed him. Whatever anyone would say if they heard about your plan, this was how you knew you had made the right choice. Or perhaps how you knew that the universe wasn’t always against you. Tonight, it brought you Eddie. Whether it was a freak accident or not, you would never regret the choices that led to it.

Eddie continued what he was doing, giving you all his attention. To all of you. You didn’t feel like an inch of your body went down forgotten. Meanwhile, he was all you could think about. It was like the world around you dissolved. A fire could have burned down the entire room, and you don’t think you would have even noticed. Not with Eddie’s cock deep inside you. He didn’t falter. Each thrust was full of him, hitting the perfect spot. Mind-numbing, toe-curling and…

Soon, you felt that feeling again. That tightness inside you. This time even tighter than previously. It was to be expected that Eddie knew what he was talking about. The longer the wait, the better the reward. And to think only a little time had passed since the two of you entered the hotel room. Not much time at all compared to how much you wished you could be with him. Was it insane? Probably, but you didn’t care.

You just wanted him, and you would take as much as he could give you.

♤

Eddie could feel how close she was.

It had definitely scared him when he saw how far down she had been, already blaming himself for taking it too far. He had been ready to pull the plug and return her all the money. It didn’t matter if her payment had actually gone to his account; he would make sure that his fuck ups were compensated.

But she was fine. Like a little firecracker that she was, she kissed him, wiping his whole mind clear of anything but her. Her and that sweet, sweet taste.

It didn’t take much longer for breathing to break up in quick succession. Moans got louder, likely uncontrolled, and her grip on his tighter. Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he loved it.

‘C’mon baby, come on.’ He encouraged her to lose all of her control. Lose herself to the pleasure. She needed to know how it was to be treated right. He needed her to know. And he didn’t know how much more he could keep it going. His last few thrusts still reached the deepest parts of her, and got everything out of her he wanted, but he felt himself lose his momentum. With each second, it was getting harder to concentrate.

‘Oh my god-’ she whimpered as she released underneath him with a high-pitched scream at that. As much as he wanted to hear all of it, he kissed her to mute it. There was no need for the neighbours to get concerned.

Though from all the other noises they made, from how the bed shook and banged against the wall, they would make the correct assumption.

Not much later, as she was still coming undone, Eddie let himself reel in the pleasure. Then, stilled within her, his lips on her neck now, he came. When he pulled away, he wished he could have left a mark on her, but he knew that would be a step too far.

‘Thank you’ were the first words to come out of her mouth when he discarded the full condom in the trash. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t like feeling naked post-sex, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe she expected more. If so, he could give it to her, but he just wasn’t sure–

‘It’s my pleasure,’ he sat on the edge of the bed, just in reach to place his hand on her leg. They were both covered in sweat, naturally, but the cold was taking over. ‘You should get under the covers.’ The last thing he wanted was for her to get sick.

‘Right.’ She pulled at the corner of the blanket– always a much more arduous task than necessary in hotel rooms when they’re tucked in deeper than the pits of hell. As soon as she pulled the white sheet over her body, Eddie regretted his choice of words. It was probably the last time he would have seen her naked, and he didn’t even take a moment to appreciate what he had in front of him.

He found his underwear, which was almost kicked under the bed. When he resurfaced, her face was full of worry. The furrow of her brows was enough to tell him that.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he covered himself up.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I didn’t do anything. I asked you to help me figure this out, and we just–’

‘No, hey, hey.’ Eddie practically jumped into bed next to her. Cupped her face in his hands and made sure she looked at him as he spoke. ‘First of all, if this is how you feel, I should be the one to be sorry since I clearly didn’t do my job. So I’m sorry. But you have no reason to think you didn’t do well. This was amazing.’ He could only hope she knew just how much he meant his words. That she could trust a complete stranger with words as much as she did with their bodies.

‘No, Eddie, it’s not that you didn’t teach me anything, but I– there’s still so much I don’t know. Fuck, I still have no idea how to suck a guy off.’

Eddie cursed under his breath. Just from those words, he could feel himself twitching against his boxers. This girl was going to be the death of me. She kept on talking.

‘Would it be ok if we do this again? Not as an accident this time, I will book you.’

He wanted to say yes so badly. But he had to keep his mind clear as he answered. ‘I don’t think that will be a good idea.’ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted to punch himself in the gut.

♤

‘I try to keep a strict one-time, no repeating clients policy. It makes the job much easier,’ Eddie explained.

‘No, I understand.’ Having to do this with the number of people he does… you couldn’t imagine how that was. How other people would be with him, and what could have happened for him to make such a rule in the first place.

‘I would say you should try Steve for real, but I don’t believe you need any “sex lessons”.

‘Right,’ you scoffed away the comment, but Eddie was persistent.

‘I mean it. I can tell that you have a whole talent in there for this shit. You just need to find the right guy to bring it out in you because whoever you’ve been in the past, clearly, they weren’t doing it right. Then you will learn everything else you want to learn by yourself. Basically like you did now.’ He gave you a kind smile, and you tried to replicate it.

‘I did need you.’ You couldn’t look at him as you said it.

‘Ehhh– not so sure about that. For a while, I thought you just wanted me for my body.’ He fell over to his back, hand on his chest as if he had just been shot. ‘That shit can hurt, you know.’ He was so dramatic and made you laugh so easily. You had never expected anything like that to happen that night.

♤

A body to adore was one thing, but he might miss her smile even more.

‘Are you feeling alright?’

‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ She blinked. Eddie pushed down the anger he felt at all those morons that had not treated her right before.

‘Let that be your final lesson then,’ he pushed down another instinct, this time to make a cheesy reference that she might not get. There was no need to make the mood weird or awkward now. Eddie cleared his throat. ‘Lesson… what number are we on, six?– Lesson six: aftercare. Just check up on yourself to see if you’re able to carry on afterwards. While always quite vital, the more intense the session, the more important the aftercare. It keeps you stable.’

She nodded in understanding. ‘So, how would that look?’

‘Well, let’s see…. Are you sore? Do you need anything?’ Once again, he was mad at himself for going into this without his usual stuff. While his bag was mostly filled with toys that might be a bit too much for her, he also had plenty of shit to make her feel better if needed.

‘No, I don’t think so.’

‘Ok, do you need something to drink? Eat?’ Before she even replied, Eddie lunged for the can of soda she had discarded on the desk opposite the bed. The bubbles would have mostly flattened by now, but it was still a liquid to drink.

‘Not really,’ she said as he handed her the can and took a small sip. ‘Ok, maybe a little bit.’ They both smiled as she emptied the can of its last chug.

‘More?’ Eddie asked as he tried to read it off of her.

‘No, I’m good.’ Just like before, she started tapping on the can. Now empty, it sounded even more hollow.

‘And was everything alright? I was scared I might have gone too far at one point.’

♤

The way you could see the genuine concern and worry in Eddie’s eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and never let him go. To think that a few hours ago, neither of you was even aware of the other’s existence. That you weren’t supposed to be aware, that it was all a giant coincidence. And that after tonight… that would be all that it ever was.

Here was this fantastic man taking care of you better than any other guy had.

Sure, you paid him to do it, but something in you, call it a freaky instinct, told you that that was just who Eddie was. He wanted to take care of you.

Maybe that’s why he went into the business. Who could really tell?

‘It was perfect,’ you told him because it was.

‘Ok, good.’ He nodded, smiling shyly. It was the first time that night that you saw a crack in the confident front of the guy.

‘Really, thank you.’ You reached for his hand, and his eyes followed it. He looked as your fingers lazily intertwined while you watched him.

‘You, uhm, you should probably go to the bathroom. Make sure you wash all of me out. Make it a standard practice, really.’

‘Will do,’ your voice wasn’t hoarse, yet you whispered. It suddenly became hushed in the room. It could have been quiet all this time, but it was then that you grew aware of it.

You didn’t want to leave the bed, or Eddie, just yet, but you knew you should listen to his professional advice. Everything he had told you so far felt like the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe you also knew of them already, maybe did it too, but it only made sense when it came from Eddie. ‘Don’t leave yet, ok? I want to say goodbye.’ The idea of him being gone when you came back felt gut-wrenching for many reasons, but all unknown.

All Eddie did was nod.

When you returned, he had just put his shirt back on. His belt was in his jeans loops but not yet fastened. Was it weird to watch him get dressed? It felt more like a thing real couples did, which you were far from. It felt stranger doing so whilst you were still completely naked, so you grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe on the bathroom shelf and pulled it on, tying it tightly around your waist.

‘That’s me then.’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking around, most likely checking if he didn’t forget something. A part of you hoped he did. He would realise it only hours later and rush back to find it. That this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet.

A girl could wish.

‘Right.’ You put on a brave face as you made your way to the door. ‘Thank you again. For everything.’

All Eddie did in response was nod with a tight-lipped smile.

The door was open now. He was already on the threshold. Compared to the soft glow of your room, the corridor's light felt jarring to your eyes. Just like that, it was over.

You could not believe this was the end. It ended as quickly as it started. A whole whirlwind of… everything, really.

Before you could stop yourself, one last question burst through your lips.

‘Is Eddie your real name?’ You immediately regretted your entire life, couldn’t believe you had done that. ‘I’m so sorry, just ignore me. I don’t know why I said that–’

But Eddie beamed. He took your hand in his. ‘As real as anything tonight was.’ and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. He started walking before your wrist even hit your hip.

You couldn’t watch him walk away, so you closed the door and your eyes before he went too far. A minute later, you cursed to yourself.

The whole aftercare thing- You never got to ask if he was ok.

Fuck.

the end.

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist. - also made a lil playlist based on this fic, told through taylor swift songs

and please support your (not so) local creators by liking AND reblogging.

I would love to know what you thought of the story, so please consider leaving a comment, or maybe an ask or even an anonymous review ;P

you are also more than welcome to join the taglist. right here.

Eddie (smut, 18+) taglist part 1:

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington @billyhargrovesprincess @annikin-im-panicin @kaitieskidmore1 @yesv01 @princess-aries

#eddie munson #eddie munson au #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #fanfiction #imagine #fanfic #fic #smut #escort!eddie munson #escort!eddie

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read-write-thrive · 2 months ago

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part 1 (both girls in their full outfits) ; part 2 (Edwina in several other outfits/sketches) ; part 3 (the companion to this piece aka Edwina getting ready :)

part 4 of my fem!payneland fanart series!!!! as I talked about with the poll, I have quite a few variations of this piece as I couldn’t make up my mind on a few of the elements, but I listened to your feedback and have included them all here !! the winner of the poll is above the cut with the rest of the variations below to hopefully make this not take up too much of your dash lol

lmk what you think - especially people who voted on the poll!! I’ve also included my thought process below the cut since I know y’all are interested :)

- first and foremost: I have absolutely no idea what order someone would get ready in with all these outfit components, so if you’re sitting here like “why is her makeup done when she has to pull a shirt over her head?” or something like that: you’re probably correct but my getting ready process is always chaos and there aren’t exactly articles on this sort of thing

- along with that: her straightening her hair is probably not accurate to how hair works but again I’ve got v little experience to pull from and trying to find a proper reference was a pain in the ass

yes her bra is fully rendered and then got covered up by her arm. I'm still mad that I did that to myself but I like the pose too much to change it so oh well

- (onto actual historical stuff!!)

- her hair is being straightened here despite straight not being in style during this era for several reasons:

1. I based her hair (and a lot of her style, as per part 1) on Rhoda Dakar of the band The Bodysnatchers, which was an all-female band that was part of the ska revival in the late 70s/early 80s. Rhoda Dakar in particular is a British artist (who’s still making music!) with an English mother and Jamaican father—so not only was she one of the only women of color I could find as part of this subgenre/in ths era/with plenty of photo references, but considering Jayden Revri is Jamaican and English (alongside Indian) himself I thought it was fitting! Her Bodysnatchers look is also much more femme leaning than the rest of the band, as well as her hair styled in a way that suggests straightening, so I carried that over to Charlotte here as well.

2. On a related note, there is a clear historical and modern difference in hairstyles worn/made popular/deemed fashionable by non-white versus white individuals and I thought it only appropriate to acknowledge that in my design of her. I even went so far as to research how her mom’s hair may have been styled since I assume that’s who would’ve been teaching her how to care for her hair in the first place. With that, I looked at popular Indian hair trends from the 60s (figuring that’s when Charlotte’s mom could’ve still been in India and following those trends) which also involved a preference for straight/wavy hair, with soft fringe made popular by Sadhana and the styles ranging from long and luscious to styled up into a very 60s beehive. Charlotte could easily also rock a beehive, especially since the 60s revival was a part of the ska revival movement and Dakar herself styled her hair as such, but I figured Charlotte is a little too much of a rebellious teenager to go for a look she’s seen her mom wear!

- her makeup is based off of the different members of The Bodysnatchers as well as other punk/ska fans at the time. The look usually required more blush that what I gave her here, but I wanted to make sure the eyes were the feature (since Charles wears eyeliner himself) and then the lips being any less just looked weird to me. Also, Dakar doesn't seem to wear the same heavy blush that the other members do, which could be a stylistic choice but could also be the potential lack of blush shades that would work well on her skin tone, so I went that route for Charlotte here

- her underwear is all based off of meticulous searching of historical advertisements, though I will admit the sources are (presumably) American since I couldn't find British equivalents (I'm hoping the styles were similar enough...) in particular:

1. Her bra is based off of: Playtex’s New Made for Me, Playtex’s Right For Me, and Playtex’s Thank Goodness It Fits (which are seriously the names of these as per the ads—how creative /s)

2. Her panties (or pants or underwear or whatever term you want to use) are based off of: Sears Best’s Nylon tricot panties, Sears Very Impressive Panties Nylon panties, and JCPenny’s eiderlon fashion panties

3. (In the below variations) Her pantyhose are theoretically based on L’eggs and Spirit by Stevens’s Slim & Slender pantyhose. But, honestly, they’re mostly based on my own experience wearing hose bc almost none of the ads showed how the gusset of the pantyhose actually looked so I needed to fill in the gaps (one of the many reasons I’m still unhappy with them—plus the wrinkles would not look right no matter what I did !!)

4. Her socks are called slouch socks! I don’t have a specific brand for them but the style was all the rage in the 80s-90s (and I want to own some so bad ngl)

- the hair straightener is just a blob based on the reference photo since trying to research historical hair tools was beyond me at the time apparently, but the style of outlet/plug is accurate to Britain in 1989 so there’s that at least (I have no idea why my brain works like this)

- since I talked about it in the poll I feel like I should address it here: technically having a bush was well out of fashion by 1989 due to the grooming boom and new types of hair removal popular throughout the 80s and 90s. However, she’s wearing multiple layers over it and is technically a teenager (in an abusive household and a catholic all-girls school, at that) so I kept going back and forth on it. It won the poll so it’s in the main post, but you’ll see in the below variations that I really went back and forth on it. that being said I do think it’s interesting given her nylon pants being semi-sheer besides at the gusset, so I’m not mad at it. plus I figured she was definitely shaving her legs/underarms, so maybe that balances it out ?

and finally here’s the other seven variations of this piece :) lmk what you think!!

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kkuroshie · 6 months ago

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Your journey

[ Newjeans x F! volleyball player won the poll]

Words: 695

Pairing: Newjeans x F! volleyball player

part 2 [part1] [part3]

As the days pass at Hybe University, our routine becomes more familiar. Classes in the morning, volleyball practice in the evening, and hanging out with our new friends in between. NewJeans quickly becomes a central part of our social circle, and I enjoy spending time with them. Their energy and kindness are infectious.

Despite this, I notice that Haerin, one of the quieter members of NewJeans, often stays silent during group conversations. While the others engage enthusiastically, Haerin mostly listens, occasionally offering a shy smile or a few words when directly addressed.

During a break between classes

Hana, NewJeans, and I find a spot under a large tree on campus. The group chats animatedly about everything from upcoming concerts to the latest trends. Haerin sits a bit apart from the group, her nose buried in a book.

"Hey, Haerin," I say, scooting closer to her. "What are you reading?"

She looks up, slightly startled, but then smiles softly. "Oh, it's just a novel I picked up. It's really interesting."

"Cool," I reply, genuinely curious. "What's it about?"

As Haerin begins to describe the plot, I listen intently. Her eyes light up as she talks about the characters and their adventures, and I realize she’s passionate about reading.

"That sounds amazing," I say when she finishes. "You should tell us more about it sometime."

Haerin nods, a small but genuine smile on her face. "Sure, I'd like that."

Later, at the cafeteria during lunch

Hana is busy discussing volleyball strategies with Hanni and Minji, while I notice Haerin sitting quietly, pushing her food around her plate. I decide to engage her again.

"Haerin, do you like volleyball?" I ask, trying to find common ground.

She looks up, surprised by the question. "I do, actually. I used to play a bit in middle school, but I wasn't very good."

"I bet you'd be better than you think," I encourage her. "Maybe you could join us for a practice sometime. It could be fun."

Haerin blushes slightly, shaking her head. "I don't know… I'm not sure if I can keep up with you guys. You're all so good."

"We're all here to have fun and get better together," I reassure her. "No pressure."

Haerin's smile widens a bit. "Maybe I'll come watch first."

That evening, at the volleyball court

Practice is intense but rewarding. Coach Tanaka pushes us all to our limits, and the team's chemistry continues to improve. As we take a break, I notice Haerin sitting in the bleachers, watching intently.

"Hey, Haerin!" Hana calls out, waving her over. "Come down here!"

Haerin hesitates but eventually makes her way to the court. Hana hands her a volleyball. "Wanna try a few passes with us?"

"Um, okay," Haerin says, nervously taking the ball.

Hana and I take turns gently passing the ball to Haerin, encouraging her with each successful pass. Slowly, she starts to gain confidence, her passes becoming more accurate.

"See? You're doing great!" I tell her, high-fiving her after a particularly good pass.

The rest of the practice goes by quickly, with Haerin staying to watch and occasionally join in. By the end, she looks more relaxed and even a bit excited.

After practice, as we're all packing up

"Thanks for letting me join in," Haerin says quietly. "It was fun."

"Anytime," I reply, smiling warmly. "We should do this more often."

"Yeah, you should come to our practices more," Hana adds. "And hang out with us more, too."

Haerin nods, her smile now reaching her eyes. "I'd like that."

In the following weeks

Haerin begins to join our group more frequently, not just for volleyball practice but also for study sessions, lunch breaks, and casual hangouts. She opens up little by little, sharing more about her interests and thoughts. The once-quiet member of NewJeans starts to become more comfortable and engaged, her laughter and insights adding a new dimension to the group's dynamic.

Hana and I are thrilled to see her blossoming, and NewJeans appreciates how we've helped Haerin feel more included. With everyone supporting each other, our bond with NewJeans grows stronger, making our time at Hybe University even more enjoyable and memorable.

#newjeans x reader #newjeans imagines #newjeans #newjeans danielle #newjeans haerin #newjeans minji #newjeans hanni #newjeans hyein #kpop x you #kpop x y/n #kpop x reader #kpop gg

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oboetemasuka · 2 months ago

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Aftermath

My bid for innocence in Milgramblr.

Or, more accurately, my bid that @good-beans started "Order of Attack". Sure, I sent the ask, but Beans created the concept of Eyepatch Amane.

I maintain that if I truly started it, Amane would have only been a bit scuffed. And here is my original vision as proof. (Uh, it might be tainted by 10 months of writing whump...)

Not proofread, but @stuffedsand and @purgemarchlockdown helped me brainstorm some of the dialogue.

(1089 words)

Wait, it's over a thousand words? It was only 500 words when I went to put the finishing touches!

Oops.

(This is queued for the 4am slot, but I will reblog with a poll once I'm awake.)

(Cw: canon-typical violence, cult mentality, reference to child abuse; Amane is a bad patient; medical information may be inaccurate)

A collision with the wall. A few whacks to the head. That was all Amane would get for now. That was all fine because she could barely move after that anyway.

The pain was all-consuming, unlike anything Amane had ever experienced before. She had never been this close to losing consciousness. Was she even conscious still?

The glare from Kotoko's eyes still burned in her. Unfathomable malice directed at a subject with no hope of redemption, but also a weak subject who could be tossed aside for later.

All she could do was wait for her proper turn like a good girl.

Kotoko had more pressing matters to deal with, after all. That being Fuuta, who was screaming and kicking for her to stop. No wonder he was first; Kotoko must have thought he needed to learn the lesson faster. But Amane could hardly register what was happening to him, except that it was ten times as brutal as any punishment she had ever faced, and that a similar fate might await her.

But Kotoko did not finish because the door slammed open, and Amane returned to her shell of absolute, utter, intense agony.

Next thing she knew, Kazui was kneeling by her side, guiding her to lie down, asking her things that didn't make sense. Fuuta was lying limply on the floor, covered in blood. Kotoko was gone.

What had Kotoko said? Something about delivering punishments in order?

"Mahiru san…" Amane muttered. "All alone…"

"I know, but I can't leave you two here without anyone else to watch."

Truly, this pain was nothing. Amane's head was still spinning a day later, and a high-pitched sound rang in her ears. She tried to blink away the morning blurriness, but it refused to give way to clarity. A deep breath triggered the pain of a thousand bruises.

And yet she had gotten off lightly. The others could have died, or so she heard; nobody would give her more details than that.

She had to go see for herself. But the moment she got herself to her feet, she sensed the figure of a certain Kirisaki Shidou looming over her.

"Amane, what do you think you are doing? Go back to sleep." Ugh, how patronizing.

"I need to talk to my friends." She tried to her voice cold and calculated so Shidou wouldn't dare dismiss her, but she couldn't control the shaking.

"They are in no condition to talk. Let them rest. Do not bother them."

"Bother them? Surely they would like to see a friendly face after everything that transpired."

"You need to rest too. You shouldn't be walking around while concussed."

"I can walk around just fine."

"You'll only make your condition worse and slow down your recovery."

Amane glared at Shidou with as much willpower as she could muster. "Are you really going to drag me into your immoral practice? Now?"

In turn, Shidou sighed. "This isn't up for debate. Go back to sleep."

"Let me talk to them." It took all she had not to scream at him.

"You can do that after you rest." The desire to raise their voices seemed mutual.

As Amane opened her mouth to retort, dark spots began to swim in her vision. She wished she had the strength to tell Shidou to back off, but instead, he guided her back down to rest.

"Let me talk to them," Amane insisted.

"I am not going to let you risk your health over a conversation."

"I have proven that I can sit up for five minutes without falling over."

"I never asked you to do that. Go back and lie down."

"You said they could have died."

That caught Shidou's attention. "Your point is?"

"You are wasting a lot of your effort on me when they clearly need it more."

"Amane, you aren't making sense."

"I need to talk to them. What if they die, and I miss my chance to get closure because I'm resting?"

Not the most logical argument, but it seemed to strike a nerve in Shidou. "Fine. Five minutes with each of them. That's it."

Mahiru resembled a mummy, or half of one, with all the seemingly fresh bandages wrapped around her. She was well on the way to an early demise. Amane had half a mind to warn her to reject the doctor's evil work, but it seemed those words would fall on deaf ears. She had to make this time count.

"Mahiru-san… I'm sorry."

"Hmm…" Mahiru stirred slightly, eyelids quivering open. "Ama…"

"It's okay… don't push it… I just needed to say… I wish I was there with you. So you would not have to face those trials alone."

"But…" Mahiru pursed her lips, seemingly to say Fuuta's name.

"Fuuta-san was found by Kazui-san. I only wish you weren't alone." Maybe only was the wrong word. Amane leaned forward. "I wish that you won't die soon. I would miss you so much."

It took Mahiru a moment to process, but then she smiled slightly. "Thanks… Amane-chan…"

Fuuta was lucky that Kazui had intervened. But still, he was missing an eye, and it sounded like he could hardly breathe.

Rumor had it that he could have died if nobody stepped in. They had found Mahiru in critical condition, but they could have found Fuuta dead.

And then what would have become of Amane? No doubt, if left alone with Kotoko, she would have had it the worst. And if she had gone to visit Mahiru instead…

Amane shook away the thought. She only had a few precious moments to speak to Fuuta. He must have noticed her shadow because his good eye was now open and looking wearily at her.

"Fuuta-san, I'm sorry."

"For wh…"

"I was too weak to stop Kotoko-san. I was there in the room, but I couldn't-"

"No…"

What? That caught Amane off guard. Fuuta continued while she tried to find the words again.

"I'm… sorry… couldn't stop her…"

"Oh, no, it wasn't your fault. I-"

"Wasn't… yours… either…"

This conversation was going in circles, and time was slipping away.

"I just hope we can have a real conversation again someday." One that wasn't tainted by pain and suffering.

Amane tried to ignore the pounding in her head and drift off to sleep. She knew her suffering paled in comparison to Mahiru and Fuuta, but she had never known anything like this before.

She had never been this sleepless before. And yet this trial too would come to pass.

#milgram #amane momose #fuuta kajiyama #kotoko yuzuriha #kazui mukuhara #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #canon typical violence #cw cults #cw child abuse #bad things happen to amane #kyanako writes #milgramblrgram

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hana-bobo-finch · 6 days ago

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OKAYYYYY!!! THE LAST PDBC POLL I DID RESULTED IN A FOUR WAY TIE (VERY GOOD FOR ME BECAUSE I LOVE TO YAP) SO I SHALL START OFF THE STRING OF LONG RAMBLING CHARACTER POSTS WITH MY BELOVED BELLONA!!! once again, because I’ve already talked about her a bit, there’ll be a lotta retreaded stuff. Also she, or really anyone else for that matter, does not have the sheer amount of lore that pumpkin daddy has, so this and the others will be a lot shorter (HEARTBREAKING) (IT’S ABOUT 3.9K WORDS COMPARED TO THE MONSTROUS 7K WORD PUMPKIN DADDY RANT)But nevertheless:

MUCH LIKE. PRETTY MUCH EVERY CHARACTER there is not a lot known about her early years (or, more accurately, I do not want to have to come up with anything for her early years). Her early life was pretty boring honestly. She grew up in a pretty secluded desert environment with her parents and older cousin. It’s never said what her family did for work, it’s left purposefully vague, actually, but it’s some sort of government job that’s extremely secretive. Do not ask about the mysterious government projects taking place in the desert, do not ask about the mysterious government’s projects taking place in the desert, DO NOT—

anyway her cousin is probably the only interesting thing about this time. Her cousin’s name is Glad (usually goes by her first and last name hyphenated together, so Glad-Yu) and she doesn’t have a mouth!! what!!! Yeah so Glad has a rare genetic condition that makes it so she doesn’t have a mouth (it also affects her hearing. She also has a distant relative who has the same condition, his name is Di and there is Literally nothing to know about him other than a very brief plot point that really doesn’t have anything to do with him directly). BUT DON’T WORRY SHE’S FINE she has a device that can transfer nutrients to her directly so not being able to eat isn’t a problem. As for communication, she just uses a kind of sign language. Anyways!!! Because she grew up in such a secluded area, only ever being around her cousin and parents, Bellona’s social skills are absolute garbage!!! Even aside from that, she’s also just kinda generally unsociable. Not in a social anxiety way, she just does Not Like most people and can be rude. One would be inclined to blame it on environmental factors or simple misunderstanding of social situations due to her very obvious lack of social skills, but alas, no. Perhaps sometimes that is the case, but for the most part, she’s just being an asshole, no way around it. She’s quite lovely to the people she does like, but to everyone else, not so much.

But back to the main timeline! Things actually start for her when she’s around 16ish. She very badly wanted to become a firefighter, but was too young to actually become one. She thought this was ABSOLUTE TRAVESTY. She was way in over her head and thought she was totally ready to do such a dangerous job (she was not!!!) and didn’t want to wait—she just wanted to jump into her career immediately. Luckily for her, or more so unluckily, there was a shady and definitely not official fire department that was oh so pleased to have such an enthusiastic new member! What joy! Haha it doesn’t matter you’re 16 you can join us (NO SHE CAN’T). By some miracle, things went alright for her in the first year or so. She was actually pretty good at her job, or at least as good as an inexperienced teenager could be. About a year into her quote unquote career, she got sent off to fight a 3 alarm fire, during which she got trapped. That alone would be bad enough, but because the fire department she worked for was extremely unprofessional, her safety gear didn’t work properly and it resulted in her getting badly burned from her shoulder to up to her ear.

She was for the most part fine, but was, understandably, extremely traumatized by the incident and became even more reclusive than before. By that point she’d moved out of her parent’s place and lived with Glad. Even through everything, still had that stubborn impatience and became EXTREMELY bored with doing nothing all the time. And being bored and impulsive is not a good combination!!! She eventually made the impromptu decision to go to medical school to become a doctor. Glad tried to talk her out of it, trying to convince her that it was NOT a good idea to do that, but Bellona was set in her ways and left the desert to go to some cheap-ass college. Surprisingly, she was extremely talented in the medical field despite having little to no experience. She landed an internship at the hospital she stayed at during the whole Almost Fucking Dying thing and in her free time developed ways to make Glad’s life easier. It became apparent rather quickly she was a bit of a savant in the medical field, instantly picking up on everything and getting perfect grades. Because of this she was offered to go to a more prestigious school on some faraway island with the weird-ass name of Fincg island. Oh wow this is all going well looks like her life is really on the up and up (WRONG) (DONT FORGET THAT SHE DIES BY THE END)

SO!!! Everything was…relatively stable for a while. Though the more time passed the more time she realized she was maybe starting to regret her career choices and she badly missed Glad. But it wasn’t all bad because she managed to actually get a social circle (SHOCKING), including a woman named Sirene. And Sirene was beautiful!!! Woah!!! So they began dating. How pleasant, I’m sure this can only end well! (it does not) BUUUT ANYWAY Bellona continued breezing through college (well. As much as you can breeze through something as tedious as med school) to become a surgeon, more specifically an orthopedic surgeon. “hey yknow isn’t it kinda strange how she’s doing that all so fast, I mean by this point she’s only freshly in her mid twenties—“ EXCELLENT OBSERVATION. I KNOW!! COUNTERPOINT, THERE ARE SENTIENT GRANOLA BARS IN THIS UNIVERSE, SO MED SCHOOL GOING FASTER THAN IN REALITY IS NOT THAT STRANGE. BUT DEFENDING PLOT HOLES ASIDE—yeah she was on the path to becoming an orthopedic surgeon. During this time, she also started babysitting a relative of hers in her spare time, Minerva. Minerva isn’t really relevant to the rest of this so don’t expect a lot about her BUT the point is, taking care of Minerva made Bellona realize “OH MAN I WANT KIDS.” Despite her being kind of uncaring to everyone else, she’s an absolute sweetheart towards kids and is surprisingly good with them. She WILL be rude to everyone around her but she will ALSO teach the precious little ones how to bake.

BUT ALAS!!! things with Sirene were Not working out!! Even after being together for a bit over a year it became obvious that there was no real spark between them. Sirene ABSOLUTELY BROKE AND DEMOLISHED bellona’s heart by breaking up with her although bellona wasn’t actually that upset but EEEEYIKES SHE WAS TOO BUSY WITH HER JOB TO UNPACK THOSE FEELINGS!!! and thus began a horrible string of failed relationships! Whoops! (Technically this stuff happens Later in the story but for the sake of clarity I’ll just put it all here in this section) she was out there speedrunning relationships and was VERY pissed off that nobody she dated was “the one”!!! Eventually though she started seeing one of her coworkers, a dude by the name of Dr. Faul. Faul is the human equivalent to a slice of white bread. Bland and inoffensive. He is also one of my favorite unimportant characters. Faul proposed to her while she was at his family’s home over the holidays and OH FUCK. OH SHIT. THAT IS SIRENE. yup turns out Sirene is faul’s sister. And she was there. There was an incredibly awkward moment of realization from the both of them, faul was over here pouring his heart out and bellona was just staring in pure terror at his sister who she was making out with sloppy style like 6 months ago. She kinda just reluctantly accepted his proposal to try to diffuse the awkwardness but then immediately went to talk to Sirene. Sirene apologized for dumping her so abruptly, and explained that she since realized the reason the relationship wasn’t working was because she was aromantic. Bellona was like “what the FUCK is an aromantic” and after having it explained to her there was a moment of horrified realization of “oh ok that explains a lot actually.” But alaaaas no matter how much Sirene tried to convince Bellona to just break off the engagement now NOPE it is TOO LATE I’m marrying your brother. Spoiler alert she did Not last long in that plan and like a week later she broke up with him. The breakup was recorded on a hacked security camera by some clown named JS (will get to him someday, he doesn’t have a lot to him but he was arguably the beginning of pdbc as a whole so he has a special place in my heart) and uploaded in a fail compilation online. Faul then earned the name Dr. Fail and he spent the rest of his days, as described by bellona, “wandering around like a lost spirit.” All that stuff Really isn’t important to the plot but I just so very much love Dr. Fail, he did nothing wrong but ended up being the victim of public ridicule

BUT OK. ALL THAT STUFF ASIDE. this is where things actually get interesting. Aka it is where the man the myth the legend PUMPKIN DADDY comes in. WOOOOOO so a patient came in, some fella who apparently was hurt in a horrible accident. and she HATED him right from the start. She didn’t even recognize him as the literal owner of the island, he was just this asshole who she had to deal with (she’s in general not very in tune with the customs of fincg island, never bothered to even try to adapt). Absolute piece of work, she did Not like him. Would probably have left him to suffer if it wasn’t her job to help him. Pumpkin daddy was pissed off the entire time and constantly trying to leave (NO you CANNOT just stand up and leave you have a SERIOUS BACK INJURY get the HELL BACK HERE) and just. yeah. It was the exact opposite of immediately hitting things off. I’ve mentioned before that her bedside manner was already iffy but for him especially she didn’t even try to hide her disdain. At the time she was not so subtly trying to get fired because she really started to hate her job but didn’t have the courage to up and quit, so she wasnt even trying to be nice in hopes of getting fired. But alas she was too talented and they kept her around. Buuut nonetheless she helped pumpkin daddy out of necessity. Unfortunately for her she was stuck around him for a while, and, as I mentioned in a previous long rambling post, they eventually developed a convoluted hate fueled not-friends-friendship. basically just bonded over their mutual hate for each other. Kinda gotta skip around a bit here bc I already yapped abt this part in the pumpkin daddy essay but YEAH

Eventually she developed a morbid fascination with him (as I think anyone would, honestly) and started hating him Slightly less. Keyword being slightly. They’d sometimes chat for a bit, but the true bonding moment was when they mutually decided hey. Wouldn’t it be so funny if you committed medical malpractice. SO SHE DID she performed a very illegal quote unquote “spine lengthening surgery” to make him two inches taller. By some miracle it was a success and once again because of her prestigious position as a respected surgeon nobody ever called her out for it. She also gave him a skeleton tattoo on his back when he was knocked out and he didn’t notice for years lmao. Anyhoo she’d occasionally hang around him outside of work to go to the illegal crab restaurant bc she couldn’t find it on her own, and on the way she’d do things to scare the shit out of him. Mostly as payback for the time pumpkin daddy startled her to the point she almost crashed backwards into the used syringe disposal and eeeyikes that would not have ended well! But she was VERY much poking the bear here, I cannot express how bad of an idea this was. She is like 4 foot 11 and pumpkin daddy is like 6 foot 3 and he could fucking snap her neck with no problem. He. Did not do that, obviously, but im just saying this was a BAD idea. She’s basically like a chihuahua, just a hatred filled little gremlin who tries to intimidate people that could beat her up in an instant

ANYWAY after a while of going to the illegal crab restaurant every weekend, she learned from pumpkin daddy and Gourdie about TBYTF and started studying it with them. She didn’t really make any big breakthroughs about it, she was basically just stuck being the mediator between the two because they had VERY different opinions on TBYTF. She planted a bunch of hybrid roses around (which she argued was just as cool as pumpkin daddy’s hybrids, come on, look, the roses are blue AND pink, that’s way better than making human life from scratch). Pumpkin daddy hated these roses but he didn’t dare touch them as to not ignite her fury. She’d occasionally bring Glad to the restaurant when she was in town, or Sirene (who was now on good terms with her) and they’d have a jolly old time(?) that’s probably not an accurate description. But they sure did had…a time, alright. When pumpkin daddy and Gourdie got divorced she…was not much of a help! She barely listened to their tearful ramblings. She probably ended up making them feel worse because it was Very Obvious she did not care. She would just silently nod and say “awesomesauce” as if that’s an appropriate response to “my wife is leaving me.” But she did help out a little bit by taking care of extra while they sorted things out. Even then her helpfulness was…questionable, she had no qualms with expressing her distaste with the circumstances of the divorce right in front of extra. Like in the middle of comforting him she’d say stuff like “it’ll be fine, they’re just being stupid. Apparently, communication isn’t in their vocabulary, but “you’re a shithead fairy betrayer” is.” But she made extra a lil necklace so it’s okay that she was swearing in front of children.

As a bit of a side tangent, during this time she became extremely petty on the matter of art. Art of any kind. Music, writing, drawing, anything of the sort. Turns out she sucks at it. I mean sure she can become a prestigious surgeon at a relatively young age and is excellent at math but for the life of her she can not do anything remotely artistic. She attempted to show off her alleged piano skills but turns out she only knew one song and even then pumpkin daddy played it better. Pumpkin daddy bought a guitar and she was so pissed off that he was immediately better than her at it that she threw it off a mountain (pumpkin daddy proceeded to retrieve the busted guitar and just tape it back together like nothing happened). She tried to write a children’s book cause ok, she’s good with kids, can’t be that hard right WRONG she failed miserably and got so mad she burnt down a library. Despite having extremely traumatic experiences with fires. She was so pissed off she forgot to be afraid of fire. So yeah she is uh. Not all too talented in anything other than strictly analytical or scientific fields.

BUT MOVING ON. As I said in an earlier post, she eventually quit her job and moved back to the desert with Glad to continue the Secret Government Project. She didn’t expect to ever come back even for a brief visit because she wouldn’t have the time (and, let’s face it, there’s no reason to travel all that way just to see PUMPKIN DADDY of all people) but remained in contact via the occasional letter. BEFORE SHE LEFT THOUGH pumpkin daddy pulled the ultimate and definitely not morally dubious prank of making a hybrid of her! He created human life solely to freak her out! And it worked! The hybrid’s name was hybelle and Bellona was NOT amused and was quite glad to not have to deal with it once she left! Hybelle was a pretty accurate hybrid of her though, there’s a bit more to her but that would fit more in with the Fina essay that I will. Eventually write.

She didn’t really do anything of major importance while back in the desert except for one thing that I completely forgot about until right as im writing this and it’s making me giggle like a fool, she saved Minerva from choking on a building. Like just straight up a building idk the logistics of it either. She was at Minerva’s college graduation and Minerva Somehow choked on the administrative building and the visual is making me laugh way too hard so I will just get on with it. BUT UH YEAH she didn’t do a whole lot during this point, was mostly just doing secretive government stuff with Glad and baking blueberry muffins. She couldn’t start a family because she neither had the time or energy, and she can’t have children (which pumpkin daddy blames himself for. “why the hell does he think it’s his fault” EXCELLENT QUESTION he once mistakenly released a mutated virus across the land that nearly killed off the cow population because it made them infertile. bellona helped make the cure for it and months later when she offhandedly mentioned she couldn’t have kids he just assumed it was because of her proximity to the whole rampant cow disease thing. It is Not the case, but he doesn’t know that and has lived in guilt ever since).

ANYWAY UH OH. WAR TIME. SHE DIES WE ALL KNOW THIS. so uh she eventually caught wind of the war going on on Fincg island and knowing that pumpkin daddy was probably doing a horrible job at dealing with it, she for the first time in decades left to go back. Less of a happy reunion and more of planning to beat him up until he had some sense knocked into him. Very literally the first thing she planned to do was tackle him when she saw him. She planned to meet him at the illegal crab restaurant but uh. He never showed up! Which was odd, considering he follows a very strict schedule that every weekend he goes to the illegal crab restaurant. But alas he never showed and she was just waiting there like a fool. After a few hours of waiting she thought she heard him but uhhh whoops it was not him. And she tackled a cat (SO much more to it than that but the cat (gloss) doesn’t yet have enough lore to justify an essay on him. Maybe someday, the lore’s always growing so maybe Gloss will have his time to shine). And broke its neck. She was incredibly distraught by this and was freaking out when UH OH!!! HERE COMES TBYTF!! YEAH SO idk if yall remember but the illegal crab restaurant is directly in TBYTF’s territory, and turns out, when there’s a corpse up there, the first thing it does is revive it. So gloss came back to life (now slightly possessed by tbytf due to it being what brought him back to life) and he was horrified at what he was seeing. A CRAB RESTAURANT. bellona pleaded with him not to tell anyone about it but that little pest ran down the mountain and called the police to report such a horrible, illegal establishment.

A BIT LATER THOUGH. UH. she was trying even more desperately to find pumpkin daddy and got caught in the central city, which at this point was a violent war zone. She almost escaped relatively unscathed but uh. We all know that is not how it goes! She got spotted by Terri, a Jorgan clan enthusiast (“hey wait don’t you have a pikmin oc named Terri” ERM YES. AND UH. THE PDBC TERRI CAME FIRST. GOOD LUCK ENJOYING MY MOTH-LOVING PIKMIN OC KNOWING THAT THIS IS WHO SHE’S BASED ON🥰🥰 A MURDERER). Terri was not happy seeing someone affiliated with the pumpkin clan in any way and uh. shot her. yeah. She didn’t immediately die, she ended up finding Extra throughout all the chaos and got him to pass on a message to pumpkin daddy. And then she. Yknow. died.

Ok so. There is technically more, but that part is…extremely undercooked. I tried to write it out and it was mostly just “I don’t know why this is yet or what happens after this BUT—“ and I think it’s best I don’t mention it at all lmao. It was only added to the story in like the last 2 weeks so it is not well developed!! At all!!Point is though Bellona’s fiiiiine she got to rest in peace. eventually. There’s some other stuff with her that I hesitate to mention because it wasn’t technically her? It was just an illusion of her. Pretty important to the plot but not so much to this long ramble so I think I’ll skip out on mentioning it. But yeah that’s uh, pretty much it for now.

ANYWAY RANDOM TRIVIA FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD TIIIIIIME OK

• she has a trident. she has on numerous occasions almost hurt someone with it by swinging it around

• she likes astronomy!!! constellations and stuff!!!

• For being so rude to other people she will NOT tolerate being called any sort of names. Once got inconsolably angry when pumpkin daddy called her a bitch for insulting his cool new anti gravity sand

• She calls everyone sugar. Is it supposed to be demeaning, a compliment, who knows? She just does it

• This isn’t a piece of trivia this is just a quote that I just remembered: Think back to the lucky break that you got a few months ago. Remember it? No? Well, perhaps you forgot it because you are stupid. You are so unbelievably stupid. You squandered your perfect opportunity. You’ll never get it back. It’s all your fault. All your misery is the result of your own stupidity. Screw you. Screw you I hope you die and termites invade your casket and the doctors researching your brain drop it down the sink and little rats eat the tiny, minimal remains of it. take a WILD guess who it’s directed towards

• Despite living in the desert she’s extremely pale. Uses too much sunscreen I guess

• BUS. SHE HAS A BARELY FUNCTIONAL BUS UHHH

• she hates snowmen. she thinks they’re a waste of time and hideous

• Was once the victim of pumpkin daddy’s scammy home improvement business venture

• She loves gloves. Exact opposite of pumpkin daddy.

• once drank eggnog out of a puddle!!! Don’t ask!!!

• she was included in the short comic I sent to the original author!!! It’s technically not canon to PDBC so I didn’t mention it but yeah. Maybe I’ll post that comic someday but I’m a bit of a coward. But all she did in it was sit there being pissed off and not enjoying steaks

idk how to end this here’s this (RUNS AWAY AND EXPLODES)

#once again too lazy to proofread this. if there are repeating paragraphs whoops #I wrote this in like a day I’m probably forgetting a lot lmao #urrghh I love her though. she is one of my favorites #it’s especially funny because in the source material she does like. absolutely nothing. she is a living plot device.#you could probably pinpoint my inspiration for most of pdbc by reading though the original but not bellona #‘how did you get any of this from seven lines of dialogue’ I DON’T KNOW!!!#I mean. she’s actually the most accurate to her original version though #all she did was be an asshole and welp. that carried over to PDBC #damn I love her she’s so funny. 3rd favorite for sure #like. in roots she is Just as bad as pumpkin daddy but she gets zero consequences or blame for anything it’s so funny #she’s just sweaty and angry all the time and same #anyway.#not sure what else to say (AS ALWAYS. ASK ME QUESTIONS IF YOU HAVE ANY👹👹👹)#not a pikmin post #pdbc #Kurt essay is next 🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥 get ready

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pacinglikeghosts · 1 year ago

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assigning ronance signature scents

because i am obsessed with fragrance and this is kind of like my hidden talent and i want to use it on robin and nancy.

this is not historically accurate because i really am just out here having a silly goofy time, i mostly just use this as a resource in my fics and wanted to share!

nancy:

starting with my best girl because i actually have info to help me with this! during the filming of s1 natalia bought a vintage bottle of charlie blue (which i also bought, as an experiment) to wear and get into nancy’s headspace (it was literally awful. she made joe keery sneeze or cough according to the story). but to get to the point, charlie blue is a floral fragrance, leading me to pick two floral perfumes for nancy. more specifically, i picked “pure white linen” from estee lauder (left) and “sun moon and stars” from karl lagerfeld (right).

not only do i think nancy would stick with florals, i also think she'd stick with name brands (like what you could find at macy's). charlie blue is a revlon perfume, so it led me to believe that while the wheelers have money, they aren't exactly spending it on something like fragrance that is just going to be drained. i also think karen may have bought nancy her first fragrance based on what she knew, because that's what her mother did, and nancy never bothered to venture out until she was older. "pure white linen" gives me daily use vibes, while "sun moon and stars" is more special occasions/dates. i also think she has a permanent lingering smell of ink and paper but that's not featured here.

robin:

oh robin. to the surprise of no one, these are a bit more gender-neutral to masculine than nancy's. when thinking about robin, i wanted things that were masculine, but still had a touch of softness and sweetness to it. fragrance has no gender, but a lot of masculine fragrances created in the 1980s were very masculine (think branding for men like GLACIER ICE FREEZE vs soft vanilla woods for women) so if she were to buy fragrance in the 1980s, i think she'd steal steve's cologne or spend five hours trying to pick a cologne that is slightly less overly masculine. that all being said, i picked 'skins x vilhelm' by vilhelm parfumerie (left) and 'ambre topkapi' by mdci parfums (right)

as you may notice, there's a lot of lavender, sandalwood, leather, and tea in these fragrances. that is completely on purpose, because i find that those pull especially gender neutral-masculine on a lot of people that is soooo appealing. they also don't flag incredibly masculine on first sniff, making it so most people can get away with wearing them and not smelling like a forty year old man named Tim that works a 9-5 and plays golf. the floral and spice notes work as countering pairings of each other but in the best way, and i could totally see robin wearing this in her full butch glory. also, the queer history of lavender is not to be ignored and robin certainly wouldn't ignore it. to me, i see robin wearing 'skins' on a more day-to-day basis, and 'ambre' as a special occasion/date thing.

anyway that's it! i love talking about fragrance and i don't think i've ever really talked about it here except for the coco chanel poll so PLEASE talk about it with me if you'd like.

#yes i posted this on twitter #but i only have so much room there #this gives me all the room to yell #also ronance server saw it first #happy 4th enjoy my rants #ronance #stranger things #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #nancy x robin #robin x nancy #kat talks fragrance #kats comments

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incorrectshantaequotes · 11 months ago

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Shantae Headcanons - Holly Lingerbean

So, it's now officially 2024! And as per my previous poll, with her winning the tiebreaker coin flip, I'm kicking off this year with a bang - Holly Lingerbean! Normally, one character would not a single headcanon post make, but she's one of my favorites, so. Yeah

Before I start, though, a few relevant readings you might want to pick up before this - none of it is necessary to understand this post, mind you, it's just that I have talked about Holly before, so if you want more Holly content, this is where you'll get it! First off is Living Memoir, AKA the start to what I SWEAR will eventually be a series of fics about a Holly Lingerbean redemption arc. The second thing is my Couples/Romance headcanon post from over a month back. While not exclusively about Holly, one of the sections does extensively feature her!

Backstory

So! Let's start with the basics. As I've mentioned in my Magical Species headcanon post, before Holly became a living memory, she was actually a half-pixie, not a half-genie. More specifically, her father was a pixie and a stage magician, adding illusion magic to classic sleight of hand for some truly fantastic shows, and her mother was a human who ran a local bakery, delighting the inhabitants of Tassel Town with her delicious delicacies. Born in a relatively peaceful town to a loving family, at first, Holly Lingerbean was...surprisingly close to Shantae, in terms of personality!

While she was never responsible for the safety of her town like Shantae was, Holly still had a rather kind-hearted nature and a need to help, so she was often up and about in town, helping various merchants carry out their stock early before the market was officially open, acting as a waitress in her mother's bakery, helping people find what they need in the library, that sort of thing. She also made the occasional appearance as an assistant in her father's magic shows, and between that, the aforementioned tendency to help everyone else out, and just her being incredibly nice, she had a lot of fans in Tassel Town! It was shocking, at first, but flattering...and eventually, Holly started letting it get to her head a little.

And as she reached adulthood, with the terrifying unknown of the future starting to loom over her like the grim reaper, scythe ready to tear away Holly's happy life in Tassel Town, some part of Holly just...wanted things to stay the same. Forever. Why couldn't she just keep being nice and helpful? Wasn't it enough to keep being who she was, who she had been for all her life? Why couldn't she just keep being loved and adored? That was when Holly remembered an old book that her father had locked away in the attic, and, well. She couldn't stop anything else from changing, but maybe she could keep herself from changing - keep herself young, beautiful, and forever adored. And so, young and foolish and unwittingly throwing away her future, she grabbed that book and used a spell from within.

I've said before that the other, much rarer magic pixies specialize in is preservation magic. That's a technically accurate description, because that's what it's used for and what it does, and it's the official title, but it doesn't quite convey the exact danger. The reason why it's so hard to use, even for genies, the reason why others began hunting down pixies just for knowing how to use it, is because preservation magic is time magic. The fact that Holly's attempt to use it on herself backfired so graciously is honestly a blessing, considering it could have gone much, much worse, but it did backfire, and turned Holly into the living memory she is now...though she didn't quite realize at first. No, she only realized it when the eternal sandstorm settled over Tassel Town, condemning it to a slow demise, and Holly began to fade with it.

Naturally, Holly panicked, and she ran away, desperate to cling to life, and as she ran through Sequin Land in a haze, that's when she first found Wilbur. That's when she discovered what he could do, and how it could benefit her. That's when she started to plan...and gradually, over the course of many human lifetimes, through a combination of self-preservation and her own ego becoming her number one priority over anything else, everything that Holly was, everything that she used to be, was chipped away and shoved off to the side, leaving only the vain, egotistical Holly we all met in Half-Genie Hero.

General

So! Onto some significantly lighter stuff! And as a side-note, if you've read Living Memoir, assume this is the Holly from there. If you have not, all you need to know is that after HGH, Holly was forced to reflect on herself and decided that her previous methods weren't working, so she went to Shantae with the plan of shadowing her, soaking in some of her newfound fame by proxy, and keeping herself alive that way. Shantae, meanwhile, was NOT pleased to see Holly as soon as she remembered who she was, and it was only when a slip-up from Holly made her realize there was more to her than the vain exterior and led to her learning Holly's backstory did she agree to the deal - with the stipulation that Holly consider becoming a hero herself. And thus begins the redemption arc!

Anyway...a little known fact about Holly is that she's an entomology nerd - well, arthropodology nerd, if you want to get technical. This is partially because of Wilbur, because of course it is, but this even extended to her past self as well, with only her parents and a select few knowing about it then. At first she hid it because she thought it was embarrassing, then she hid it because it would stain her image, and after HGH she hides it precisely BECAUSE of Wilbur, and all the, ah...negative associations her former pet brings with him. Shantae ended up learning about it when she's tried to figure out a trick with her spider form, and Holly, having been watching for over an hour and now bored and mildly annoyed, gave her the exact tip she needed, causing Shantae to very quickly round on her with a "how did you know how to do that" once she did figure out the trick.

A lot of Holly's egotism is just bluster, especially post-HGH where she's been forced to reflect on her past actions and herself as a person - once you understand that, it's honestly not that hard to get along with her, as she's not really actively malicious and more just overly confident and self-appraising most of the time. She can be hurtful, for sure, but it's very easy to tell when she's just being careless versus when she's actively targeting you. A lot of her best relationships are with people who get this, such as Lobster Siren, Harmony, and Shantae - though, in the latter case, Holly still grates on Shantae's nerves sometimes. Especially early on when she's just beginning to figure out how to be a good person again.

Holly grew up in a rather...tumultuous time for Sequin Land's royal family, as when Holly was born the land was under the reign of Queen Echidna, one of the most tyrannical figures in Sequin Land's history. Petty, vain, and cruel, Echidna demanded in all but words to be treated as a goddess wherever she went, and any town who didn't do so - or, worse, happened to have their attention on someone Echidna saw as "unworthy," which was everyone besides herself - the town was condemned to death. Holly never met the woman herself, but her parents were sure to teach her how to act if she ever did show up, as was the case with every child during her reign. She and her followers were ousted and exiled to an island shortly after Holly began her operations with Wilbur, but that never really lessened the childhood boogeyman of the old queen, and Holly just...kinda assumed all royalty was like that. No one ever realized this, of course, up until Shantae was told she was going to be visited by Giga Mermaid by some mermaid guards one morning, and Holly promptly panicked. Shantae...actually has a theory, regarding Echidna and her followers and their possible descendants - Echidna was well-known for using snake iconography, after all, and Shantae's experience in the Tan Line Temple is practically burned into her memory...but she figures Holly would rather not know.

Though Holly isn't really a fighter, she is a surprisingly good acrobat. Supernaturally good, actually, being far more flexible and durable than any human reasonably could be. This has less to do with her formerly being a half-pixie and more to do with the "living memory" thing; her body's basically made out of condensed magic, much like the more humanoid forms taken by - ironically enough - genies when they're outside the Genie Realm and are trying to interact with humans, though obviously weaker with the downside of having to rely on others to maintain her form. And yet, in spite of all that...Holly cannot dance. At all. Which continues to irk her no matter how hard she tries. She's taken lessons from Shantae, with...mixed success.

Anyway! I'm going to stop there...at least, for normal, canon Holly. But, as some of you may know, there's also the Reversal AU, and while Holly isn't swapped with anyone, she gets it both better and worse thanks to the differing main cast!

Reversal AU

Starting with what would be the events of HGH, Holly is immediately treated with much more hostility than canon. Unlike Shantae, who mostly saw Holly as an annoyance up until she enacted her plan and even then still managed to be relatively chill, with R!Risky...the Dynamo is weighing a lot more on her mind, giving her a lot of pent-up stress and anger she refuses to let out, and not ONLY is Holly stepping on a nerve taking Risky's job when she's already worried about being replaced, but she presents a much more acceptable target for her ire that Risky is more than happy to take it out on. Holly dishes out some vitriol in return, but doesn't really think much of it until she enacts her plan.

Because unlike Shantae, who is mad about the whole thing but still managing to act like herself, when R!Risky comes back to a memory-less Scuttle Town, she, well. Saying "she goes ballistic" is technically accurate, but not quite fitting. Saying "she is so utterly furious that with one more push she ends up committing actions her canon self would approve of" is both accurate and appropriately fits the severity. Risky is not just mad. She is on an active warpath, and when Holly realizes this, she...finds herself to be a bit worried. More worried than she has been in a long while. By the time Risky reaches the top of the tower, Holly's worried enough that she actually tries to negotiate instead of monologuing to Risky, trying to convince her to let her go, pointing out that, if Mimic doesn't get his memories back, he'll never build the Dynamo, and she won't be out of a job! ...Which only serves to tap dance alllllllll over Risky's buttons, getting her even more livid, and Holly quickly learns the consequences of her actions as soon as Wilbur's done.

Remember that "with one more push she ends up commiting actions her canon self would approve of" bit? Yeah, that last thing was the push. Holly starts to flicker in-and-out, much like she does in Half-Genie Hero, and panics as she realizes she's going to fade - only for Risky to grab her by the collar of her outfit and pull her right up close and personal, telling her that Risky isn't going to let her fade...something that Holly would find a lot more reassuring if Risky wasn't wearing a vindictive smirk about two inches away from a scowl as she was saying it. Risky continues, saying that fading would be the easy way out, so she's going to make sure to remember her, because she's not letting Holly take the easy way out. No, she wants Holly to stew, to wallow in her complete failure, to reflect on what an utterly miserable and hollow life she's led, that the only way she's been able to live is to take away the life and times of others...and with that cheery note, Risky kicks Holly off the edge of the tower.

After she has a moment to calm down and collect her thoughts, R!Risky is...honestly disturbed by how far she went with Holly. While none of her friends have any sympathy for the living memory, and their reactions to being told what Risky did are essentially just "good riddance," Risky still can't help but think that she was rather extreme with Holly, no matter how bad she really was. Not to mention, the lie about her being a half-genie hasn't been cleared up, so while Risky does know she's a memory, her logical assumption is that Holly was a half-genie before she ended up turning into a living memory...and any potential chance of connection has been ruined by Risky's actions. While she's wrong on that front, she is right about her actions biting her in the ass later...

Holly isn't relevant again until the end of the adventure, where Captain Shantae's plan finally swings into action, and - well, I'm not going into it in detail here, because I DO plan on writing that Reversal AU HGH post at some point, but just know that, similar to how HGH is Risky's most drastic and extreme plan for her ultimate goal of obtaining power, the Reversal AU equivalent is Captain Shantae's most drastic and extreme plan for her ultimate goal of obtaining control, and more specifically recruiting Risky to her side. And when that fails, when her plan begins to fall apart around her ears and Risky firmly denies her, ready to fight and escape her clutches...that's when Captain Shantae unveils her most drastic measure of all - a trussed, gagged, and terrified Holly Lingerbean, much to Risky's shock and horror.

Captain Shantae explains that she saw the memory-less Scuttle Town, and figured it'd make a good back-up plan if Risky wouldn't join her willingly, and so sent out a few men to scout out the remains of Tassel Town to see if they could reverse-engineer Holly's method...then, they saw a dazed and barely conscious Holly Lingerbean, and Captain Shantae got a better idea - why bother trying to make her own method of memory removal when she could, ah, coerce the source? Risky shakes off her disturbance and tells Captain Shantae that she won't just stand still and let her take her memories, but Shantae then cheerily informs her that she anticipated that, and thus coerced Holly into doing a few test drives. And then, in comes...well, I'm not going to spoil what would be the final boss here.

Anyway, after that's defeated and the Chimera Pirates are thwarted once again, Risky hightails it out of there with Holly in tow, finding herself back in Scuttle Town, where she's congratulated by her friends and Mimic apologizes for being so ignorant as to how Risky was feeling, and that it's clear that the Dynamo is no match for her in terms of being an effective guardian. That just leaves the matter of Holly...and, almost immediately, they both try to apologize at the same time, with Risky stopping herself first and letting Holly go ahead. Holly then explains that, between Risky's dressing-down and Captain Shantae kidnapping her, forcing her to use her memory-altering powers when she didn't want to, and just generally putting her in mortal peril, she's gotten a major reality check, and after reflecting on herself and reevaluating her goals, she wants to make amends for how many lives she might have ruined over the years. In turn, Risky apologizes for how extreme she was in handling Holly, that at the very MINIMUM kicking her off the tower was completely unnecessary, never mind anything else, and with the bad blood between them cleared, the two become friends.

Post-HGH, Holly is already on the side of good in the Reversal AU, and she's effectively acting as...R!Risky's unofficial lawyer, in a sense? Her first action was to immediately strongarm Mayor Scuttlebutt into giving Risky better wages, as after having taken the job herself she knows full well that the pay is not enough for the amount of shit Risky has to deal with, and after that she just...kept it up with some of the other troubles Risky faced. She didn't mean to become Risky's pseudo-lawyer, but neither of them are really objecting, and they have a fairly good relationship going. Probably better than canon Shantae and Holly Lingerbean, funnily enough. I imagine she's not involved in what would be Seven Sirens, but that could change...

Okay, NOW I'm done! That took a while even with the extra time I gave myself, so I hope all the Holly Lingerbean fans are happy! In any case, here's to 2024, and have a Happy New Year!

#shantae #not a quote #holly lingerbean #reversal au #headcanons #new years

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bracketsoffear · 1 year ago

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Sci-Twi/Midnight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls) "Twilight Sparkle’s human counterpart came to Canterlot High during the Friendship Games hoping to study the magic around the school by capturing it in a device and earning a spot in an advanced study program. Her desire for knowledge and understanding of the human world's magic drives her to continue her studies of it, despite it becoming increasingly clear that she's in way over her head as she nearly gets her peers killed, and Cinch is able to convince her to unleash said magic in an ill-thought-out attempt to win the Games by tempting her with the opportunity for knowledge. The stolen magic corrupts her into Midnight Sparkle, her Superpowered Evil Side, who opens random rifts toward Equestria to reaches its magic, uncaring that it could destroy the human world as long as she can learn more about Equestrian magic. Even after being defeated, she survives as a threatening alter ego inside Twilight's psyche. She’s a classic example of someone being pushed over the edge by her desire for knowledge (combined with bullying by her peers and authority figures) and becoming something monstrous."

Vincent Price (The Price of Fear) "(To be clear, this is a fictionalised version of himself that he portrayed in a radio show, not the real life person. Although the "total strangers confess weird often disturbing and confidential things to him unprompted" aspect WAS apparently true of him in real life--I don't know that anyone ever confessed to murder but a lot of strangers who recognised him would apparently confide all kinds of secrets and strange stories to him since he was fairly nonjudgemental and wasn't the type of guy to interrupt or walk away when someone was talking to him. The "just knowing things" part…well, he did believe he had some level of psychic abilities/premonitions IRL, but I don't know what to make of that. Either way though the character being submitted for this poll is the fictionalised version, who shares a lot of traits with the real man but gets into clearly fictional situations in each episode.) Vincent discovers all kinds of Dark Secrets (TM) in the form of a different supernatural or murdery event each episode. Sometimes this involves him actively investigating mysteries to discover the truth about various strange occurrences. Other times he's more of a witness to events, often becoming the only person alive to know the truth about something horrible--for instance going on a fishing trip with a guy leads to him discovering the guy's been killing people and feeding them to sharks. Other times, people just…tell him things--in fact, people open up to him extremely quickly in most episodes, he only has to ask a couple of questions to get someone to tell him all about his experience of being possessed, but the most notable examples are the FOUR occasions where a total stranger approaches him, sits down opposite him, and confesses to murder almost totally unprompted, in an unusually coherent way (OK so one guy was a very nervous and hesitant person who takes a little bit of prompting, but his confession still forms a coherent and narratively interesting enough story to make an episode of a radio show!), while Vincent just (mostly) calmly listens to it all. Also he…knows stuff. Inexplicably. Like, maybe not concrete factual stuff so much, but like, at least to what in a different context I'd call force-sensitive levels. Any time he thinks something's wrong, or someone's in danger, or that he might never see this person again, or he claims to sense Evil, without fail he is accurate. (Also the promotional art for the show features him staring at you somewhat disturbingly.)"

#eye poll #the magnus archives #the eye #poll #my little pony #equestria girls #the price of fear #vincent price

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carmenized-onions · 5 months ago

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CHAPTER 9 LETS FUCKING GOOOO (get ready for a yapfest, where most of it will probably be uncomprehensible because language can’t begin to capture the emotions your writing makes me feel) also !! add me to the taglist please and thank you<3

It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life. - already nervous and the chapter just started but fuck it we ball

you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— the way you scare me but still make me laugh

He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— RICHIE HELL YEAHHHHH (and he calls her cousin🥹)

also big shout out to you author for making it so clear which texts were sent by what person (so how her texts are cursive and richie’s texts are bold) bc some fics make it so hard to differentiate who’s talking/texting!!<3<3

daddy - POR QUE. i know he didn’t mean it like that but shshshdh

See u chip - this is the cutest nickname!! everyone in that poll can fight me idc idc

It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. - me celebrating doing the bare minimum!! (but it’s still huge to me so i understand chip well)

To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing. - [cries in norwegian]

You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. - OMGGGG HINTS FOR FRIDAY👀👀

THE SWITCH OVER TO CARMEN HELL YEAHHHH - fuckn delicious freezer cake for you author!!

He really needs his sister. - 🫶🏼 i feel like this is layered (like the carmenized onion)

you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life - his worst nightmare fr, worse than the restaurant closing actually

he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his - SHUT UPPP HOW COULD YOU DROP THIS ON ME😭😭

He’s still gonna be him - BABYBOY THATS NOT A BAD THING😭 LET ME PROTECCCC

Sisyphean nightmare - YOUR WAY WITH WORDS I LOVEEEE IT

He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps. - the way your chapters always make me cry from either the fluff or the sad

he has to hide his smile with his hand - THEM

So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone - 😭💓🫶🏼😭🫶🏼😭💓

Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. - BALEGDEH

he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion. - NO BC LIKE IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS *A LOT* WHAT WILL RICHIE THINK OF CARM AND CHIP. Like thinking of how he and mikey acted at christmas after seeing claire makes me wonder how he’d act when finding out about carm and chip (also carm is only able to date girls with c names apparently <even tho chippy is a nickname but hush>)

looks to his best friend - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

he’s not you. - LMAO

he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. - OOOP CHIPPY IS ABOUT TO GET CAUGHT

“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” - ISBRIFBRIRKR

also bet carmen doesn’t have a problem with the two hours when it means TWO HOURS OF CHIP IN HIS RESTAURANT WHERE HE CAN SNEAK GLANCES AT HER

“What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?” - the way you’re nailing his voice!!

“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” - WAY TO BUILD TENSION AUTHOR. it’s very clear you’re a(n amazing) screenwriter

Mikey got to do that first, too, eh? - STAPH

he's willing to admit it, for you. - RICHIE AND CHIP BESTIES YEEEHAWWWW

“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. - i love this

“Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.” - SKJDIDJFKD

Y’have my blessing. - CUTE

“Didn’t ask for it.” - CUTER

“Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right?” - CUTEST (ok carmy is cutest but im doing a thing here)

“Gone, cousin.” - it’s cute that you think that richie!! have a cookie!!

“Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.” - again nailing his character

If he had a… lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? - you forget how she met you carm, having a meltdown in the freezer

He needs to find your invoice. - he’s so cuteee

Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice. - that’s so sweet but i fear it won’t happen, at least not YET

He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. - HES THE SWEETEST

You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday. - 👀👀👀

He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday - he owns my heart

But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear - OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE, THE CUTEST GIFT EVER

You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed. - mood

Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated. - the way you make it so easy to picture it, ugh we stan!!

Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times. - SHUT UP THATS THE CUTEST THING EVER TO EXIST

So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. - Im gonna cry

You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test - chip is such a slay

*the piece* is magnificent and perfect in every way and you did that!!

You took inspiration from the way his brain works - AWWWWW:3

He’s awfully inspiring. - the love that they have for each other is just everything. they are everything

You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. - EVIL

You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday. - SOULMATES🫶🏼

I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter - i really really REALLY appreciated that you did in fact not do that

if you made it through this whole ask, god fnkn bless, looking forward to the master’s thesis i’ll write in your askbox after the next chapter

I had no idea people could make asks this long; like i mean on a character count level-- Did anyone know you could do this fr-- ANYWAYS I WANNA YAP BACK BUT I'M GONNA PUT A KEEP READING BUT PLEASE DO OPEN THIS THERE'S GONNA BE A POLL I WANT YOU CUTIES TO ANSWER

First of all, of course I will add you to the taglist, thank you for the gift of an essay everytime, i love u <3

I am ALL about Fear and Laughter. If I ever make business cards, that'll probably be the tagline. We ball.

It did make me laugh that you went RICHIE HELL YEAH after 'he doesn't have reading comprehension. I buried the lead on who the he in question was on purpose, and i was wondering if everyone would clock at that line immediately oh, it's richie. I'm so mean.

As for texting, I did read another person's fic and saw they put like screennames and sending times and i was like ah fuck, shoulda done that, but continuity,,,, so i didn't switch it up. Plus I enjoy thematically that Tony is italics, Carmen is italic/bold, and Richie is bold. I feel like it just kinda makes sense, character wise, that Tony and Richie are on either end of the spectrum and Carmen is inbetween.

They've gotta get an HR if Richie says daddy to anyone's face besides Tony frfr,

And THIS is where the new poll comes in, because you all SAY YOU WANNA FUCKIN KISS MIKEY, SO

Personally I do like Chippy a lot, not to colour your opinions. You'll see why i like it, eventually. And I'm sure when that happens we'll talk about it ad fuckin nauseam (and I'll eat it up, I will)

I love doing Carmen's perspective, it's like free therapy, realizing the way he and I both think is fucking crazy and I need to relax. He really does need his sister, poor bug. I genuinely do wonder how that's gonna be handled, in season 3.

HIS LITTLE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS PANIC YESSIRRR, Bottle Girl Tony = Hell, Never gonna actually date Tony = Mega Hell, He's Still Gonna Be Him = Super Awful Ultra Hell

So many (2) people enjoyed Sisyphean nightmare, I think I just have tumblr accent, honestly.

I'm so glad, that the shampoo thing happened honestly. I know that's crazy to say it like that, as the writer, as I planned it, but i didn't think I'd be able to call back to it all that much-- But I get to call back to it so fucking much, and it's always either heartbreaking or adorable, or both, and I lovveee both.

The idea that anyone has been thinking about a plot line that has yet to arise alot is like-- Like my brain melted. Like that's so. I'm a puddle. Puddle in your hands. BUT YES, I did have to think on that absolutely. It's a weird line to tow, right? Because Richie's gotten more respectful since then, and he's actual friends with Tony-- But like,,, bro is still a bro, at the end of the day.

CHIPPY IS ABOUT TO GET CAUUGGHTTTT, thank god someone laughed at the I'm not fuckin high line, I was worried.

“What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?” - the way you’re nailing his voice!! Did you see my ask saying i'm never sure about Carmen's dialogue and are now trying to reassure me? It's working, if you are.

WAY TO BUILD TENSION AUTHOR. it’s very clear you’re a(n amazing) screenwriter Daww, too nice to me, it IS really how I think Richie would navigate this Chip story, though, you'll see why there's,,,, pause about it, eventually.

“Gone, cousin.” - it’s cute that you think that richie!! have a cookie!! Listen, we don't KNOW how many times Tony's listened to Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Probably would need more than a single word though, Rich. A touch dramatic, cousin.

All Tony and Carmen wanna do this Friday is impress each other, and that's totally exactly what's gonna happen idk what y'all are buggin abouttttttt

I'm so glad folks like the piece, i was worried I explained it bad/it's just kinda stupid-- I just felt like, Carmen doesn't give abstract art vibes. I felt like photography worked a lot better for him. It also gave me the opportunity to slip in more Mikey, of which I think he is mentioned literally at least once every chapter. Bro is the phantom in the pages. i adore him.

I am also very glad that I didn't end up doing just snippets from the Consultation chapter to now. I was worried they'd give off filler vibes, when turned into full on chapters, but looking at them all now, i'm like it would've been an insane injustice to not give them all full breathing room. And now i think there's a lot more to sink into and give a fuck about!! Which is gonna make Friday hurt all the more <3

Anyways, thank you thank you for yapping, and i seriously need to go the fuck to sleep fuck i'm gonna be so groggy for work i'm gonna NAP ON THE BUS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!

#yapping #ask #extensive yapping #silly little poll #really fucking extensive #this time

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logosbot-tm-fics · 2 years ago

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NEW CHAPTER FOR FORMALDEHYDE BC I DECIDED TO NOT LISTEN TO THE POLL

Enjoy!

Take My Tea With Formaldehyde

[Start] [<Previous] [Next>]

Chapter 8: Am I Pretty Now?

(More beneath the cut)

Mumbo felt rather pleased with himself. He had managed to get his hands on an Ariana Griande concert ticket. It hadn’t been his priority at all but he saw that the tickets had been released so he decided to buy one. He smiled to himself when he noticed that the tickets were sold for a rather affordable price as well, which meant that it didn’t feel like a waste of money. Instead it felt like a treat. Considering the fact that everything felt so confusing and messy lately, he felt like he really needed to give himself something.

The concert was, as always, great. Though it always felt weird that she had gone from a small artist to one of the most popular artists, if not the most popular. A part of him still thought of her as a small, unknown artist, even if he knew that wasn't the truth. It didn't really matter, her music was still great, and he still enjoyed the things she did.

But even if the show was great, Mumbo couldn't help but notice one thing. Ariana was moving her hands weirdly.

Or more accurately, she seemed to be struggling to move her hands normally. She struggled to use them, meaning that she either held the mic or not at all. Sure, she had an in-ear, but sometimes she used regular microphones. Not that Mumbo really knew why. It was odd to see her struggle, it looked as if she was hurt. As if she had someone hurt her hands.

Mumbo wasn’t the only one who noticed. He heard someone behind him whisper about it.

"Is she okay?" They said, tone worried. "She seems unable to use her hands."

"I don't know." Another person responded. "Her hands look hurt."

Mumbo had noticed that as well, they looked bruised, damaged. Wasn't it weird that both Grian and Ariana had hurt their hands? Rather odd coincidence. He shrugged it off, stuff like that happened.

He hoped Ariana was okay.

Later when Mumbo was scrolling through social media he saw a few posts writing about her damaged hands. Posts pointed out how she pulled her sleeves over knuckles in selfies she posted, or avoided putting photos of her hands in them.

Some posts had photos from the concert, with red circles around her hands. The comments were filled with concerned fans, or people saying that it probably wasn't a big deal.

Mumbo hoped she was okay.

Ariana is on TV, it's a talk show again. Her brown hair is slightly wavy, and she has a pink hair clip in it. She has rather soft makeup this time, just enough pink eyeshadow to bring out her dark brown eyes.

She seems to have a rather nice time, even if something seems to be making her anxious. She's fidgeting with her sleeve, smiling as she answers questions. Despite the anxiety she seems to be feeling, she actually looks relaxed.

The talkshow host, a woman with long blonde hair, looks kind and genuine. Her smile is so different from other people who have interviewed Ariana.

"I'm so sorry, and I hope you don’t mind me asking," The talk show host says, looking at the cards in her hand. They seem to be there mostly for support. She has asked a bunch of questions and has rarely looked at the cards. It seems as if she's actually interested in what Ariana is saying. "But a lot of people, myself included, have noticed that your hands seem to have been hurt somehow, what happened? You can pass on this question if you want." She offers kindly.

"No, it's okay, I've been getting quite a lot of questions myself." Ariana replied, smiling. "Well, I hurt them, to put it simply. "

"Pardon my curiosity, but how? Was it a dance accident or?" The interviewer asked.

Ariana laughed slightly, shaking her head. “I mean, a dance accident would make sense, but you don't really hurt yourself like that when dancing." She explained, resting her hands in her lap. "I also wish I could say it was for a good reason, but, this is a bit silly, I just hurt them whilst boxing."

"You box?" The host said, looking a bit surprised.

"Yeah, I do." Ariana smiled. "It's not something a lot of people know. It's my preferred form of working out.

“I see," The host said, her smile matching Ariana's. "But are your hands okay?”

“Ah, they’re better, I'll say that. It’s just a case of boxer’s knuckles. I’ve been to the doctor and I've gotten it treated, I'm just going to struggle to hold a microphone for a while.” Ariana shrugged it off casually.

“Oh, I see. I hope they get better.” The talkshow host said earnestly.

“Thank you.” Ariana smiled, and with that the conversation was over.

The interviewer then turned to the audience, to move on from the topic.“Now, let me introduce the world famous popstar and drag queen, Scottsune Miku!" She announced, gesturing towards a portion of the stage.

Scottsune Miku came out on stage. She greeted the host and Ariana with a genuine smile, before sitting down next to Ariana.

"Scottsune it's a pleasure to-"

Mumbo turned off the TV. Grian would be over soon.

To Mumbo, making tea was almost therapeutic. It helped him calm down, focus on the amount of tea leaves, how hot the water needed to be, and how long it needed to brew.

He made tea if he felt stressed, angry, sad, frustrated, or any negative emotion. If he felt bad, then there would be a pot filled with tea almost immediately.

This, however, was not one of those days.

This was one of those rare days when things seemed strangely fine. Grian was laying on Mumbo's couch, just watching videos on his phone, whilst Mumbo was in the kitchen making some tea for them.

Sure, there were awkward silences and a weird tension in the air even during the okay days, but they had become a lot more bearable. A lot nicer than the others.

It almost made Mumbo forget about the bad days.

Mumbo filled a plate with biscuits, and went out into the living room. He placed the tea, milk, honey, and biscuits on the table, before sitting down next to Grian on the couch.

As soon as Mumbo picked up his book to read, Grian put his head in Mumbo's lap. He often did that.

However, it took Mumbo a while to realise that he was playing with Grian's hair. He had just started doing it, and by god, was Grian's hair soft. It was also rather long. Not at all as well trimmed as it used to be. It used to reach just above his jaw, curling in such a way that it looked shorter…but now it was down by the nape of his neck.

It looked good.

Grian seemed very content with the fact that Mumbo was playing with his hair. His eyes were closed, and his hand rested on top of his phone that was laying on his chest. He seemed at peace. Calm. Relaxed, for once.

"Mumbo?" Grian asked, his eyes still closed.

"Mm?" Mumbo responded, trying to focus on the words in his book instead of how soft Grian's hair was. He was failing miserably.

"I feel like going out again." Grian says.

Mumbo nearly drops his book onto Grian's head in response. "What?"

He hadn't expected Grian to say that. It’s only been three weeks since the whole incident, and sure Grian's hands have healed, but…if Mumbo was honest, he didn't really feel all that comfortable going out. He didn't want that to happen again.

"I wanna go out again." Grian says, as if Mumbo hadn’t heard him. "I think it would be fun."

"You're sure?" Mumbo asks. "What if-"

"Mumbo, it will be fine." Grian cut him off, looking up at Mumbo. "I had fun, despite what happened. Besides, I don't want that to stop me from having fun and doing things I like." He sounded rather determined, and that convinced Mumbo.

The two of them decided to go out the next day, since that was a Friday and neither would be at work on the Saturday.

Still, Mumbo couldn't help but feel as if something would go wrong.

This time, they go without Iskall. Somehow it feels like both of them want to go alone, for it to be just the two of them. Neither says it and neither suggests bringing Iskall. They just…understand.

In the line to the club, Grian looks giddy, almost like a child, excitedly bouncing in place. Mumbo smiles fondly. Maybe it was a good idea to go out, despite what happened last time. If he'd known that Grian would be this happy, he wouldn't have hesitated at all, and would have agreed immediately.

Surprisingly, the queue moves quickly, and they're inside sooner than expected. Grian grabs Mumbo's hand as soon as they step inside, dragging him out on the dance floor. Mumbo doesn't even get a chance to protest. Not that he minds.

Mumbo can't dance, not in the slightest. He moves awkwardly, or almost not at all. It doesn’t seem to matter. Grian just seems happy that Mumbo is dancing with him, even if he's far from graceful.

Unlike last time, Mumbo doesn't sit down to take a break, instead he just follows Grian's movements. The way Grian smiled when he realised Mumbo was still dancing with him successfully calmed down most worries Mumbo had.

He doesn't know how, but at some point he gets a drink and Grian gets one too. It takes a while for him to realise, but Grian is the one paying for his drinks.

"Grian-" Mumbo says, holding a gin and tonic in his hand. It must be his third one, and they haven't been out that long. "You know you don't have to pay for my drinks, right?"

Grian gestured vaguely, trying to brush off Mumbo's comment. "Don't worry about it," He slurred, his alcohol tolerance lower than Mumbo's. Not surprising, he was shorter after all. "I want to, besides I've got more than enough money."

Mumbo wondered what he meant by that, surely being an accountant couldn't pay that well. Though, maybe he worked for a good company?

"You're sure? I can pay for myself, if you-"

Grian cut him off, placing his hand on top of Mumbo's. The look he gave him was strangely intense and rather determined. "Mumbo. I seriously want to, and I have a fair amount of money that I don't really have use for. Let me pay for you."

"Oh-" Mumbo was a bit unsure of what to say, but he guessed that maybe he shouldn't question it. Grian seemed absolutely certain. "I-...thank you."

"My pleasure." Grian said, smiling a bit. He pulled away his hand and tilted his drink slightly at Mumbo. Mumbo silently wished Grian had let his hand stay.

Sometime after that brief conversation, Grian drags Mumbo back out onto the dance floor. As the time has passed, more people have entered the club, and they end up being very close to each other. Mumbo feels a warmth pool in his stomach at the proximity.

Despite them being at a club filled with people, it feels weirdly intimate.

Mumbo feels slightly dizzy, but in a good way. Almost as if he's floating. He has definitely drunk more than he thought. A lot more…and, what's the time? He hasn't checked his watch in a while.

Maybe he should, it might be a good idea-

His thoughts get cut off by Grian suddenly kissing him on the cheek. Mumbo gives him what he assumes is a questioning look, and Grian just shrugs in response.

"Felt like it." He said, casually, as if he always just randomly gives Mumbo kisses. Somehow, it actually feels fairly normal.

They still don't move off the dance floor. In reality, it would probably be next to impossible, there's far too many people around them. Neither really seems to want to sit down, and continue to dance…if you can call it that, it's more moving to the best of their ability on the crowded dance floor.

“Mumbo?” Grian whispered, the two so close together, that his voice could somehow be heard over the music and the people around them.

“Hmm?” Mumbo hummed, looking at Grian, who was looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

“Do you…” Grian began, stopping himself for a second, tilting his head to the side. The movement was a bit awkward, clumsy almost. “...Do you think I’m pretty?” He asked, smiling in a strangely shy way. He played with a lock of hair. If Mumbo was more sober he probably would have wondered why Grian looked like that.

Mumbo had difficulty processing the question, the alcohol making his brain work slower, worse than usual. “W..what?”He said in response, vaguely aware of the fact that he was standing up.

Grian leaned forward, so he could whisper into Mumbo’s ear. “Do you think I’m pretty?” He asked again, his lips centimetres away from Mumbo’s ear. Mumbo felt his breath on his neck.

When Mumbo finally managed to process the question he felt a smile break out on his face. He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want to stop it.

He nodded in response. “Yes.” He said. “Yes, you’re very pretty.” He gently tucked a hair strand behind Grian’s ear, just so he could see him more clearly.

Grian looked surprised, his eyes wide, a faint blush on his face. Was it there because of the alcohol or-

“Really?” Grian breathed. “Am I prettier than Ariana?”

Mumbo felt his head spin, half wondering why Grian asked that. He barely realised that it was a rather strange question to ask. “Yes, always.” Mumbo replied, earnestly. “You’re the prettiest. Always the prettiest.” His words slurred together.

Grian seemed very pleased with that, and put his head against Mumbo’s chest. “The prettiest…” He whispered, a smile on his lips.

They lose track of time, and before they know it, it has to be after 2am. They have sat down at some point, Grian leaning against Mumbo. Mumbo thinks that some people have to think that they're a couple. He doesn't mind that. He wonders if Grian minds that, but realises that he'd have to ask if he wants to know.

They should probably leave. It's late and they should probably get home.

Mumbo asks if Grian wants to come to his place, and Grian nods silently, his arms tightly around Mumbo's body

They take a cab together, and start to giggle and laugh and neither knows why they're laughing. Grian holds Mumbo's hand tightly, as if he won't ever let go.

Mumbo doesn't want him to.

Mumbo and Grian half walked, half stumbled into Mumbo's apartment. Almost falling onto the floor in the hallway. The two of them were laughing drunkenly as they went inside, the type of laughter that bubbles in your stomach and is impossible to stop. The type that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. They clung onto each other for support, which didn't exactly work. Neither was particularly stable.

Mumbo somehow managed to sit down on the stool in the hall and started to take off his shoes. He struggled but eventually got them off.

Grian laughed even harder when he saw how Mumbo almost failed at the simple action. Mumbo laughed as well, throwing his shoes at Grian. The shoes missed Grian completely, since Mumbo's already terrible aim seemed to have somehow gotten even worse, and Grian fell down on the floor, still laughing.

Grian clumsily pulled off his own shoes. He sat on the floor for a short while until Mumbo tried to help him stand up. Neither could seem to stop laughing, the happiness felt sticky and sweet, and it held them firmly in its grasp. Not that either could really complain. When was the last time they properly laughed together?

Grian somehow managed to stand up properly, smiling at Mumbo. Mumbo smiled back, and ended up looking directly into Grian's eyes. The laughing stopped, though not in a bad way. The air felt electric, and neither looked away.

Mumbo had known for a long while that Grian's eyes were blue, but oh. Oh, how they were beautiful. They were like an ocean, a gorgeous mix of blues. Earlier Mumbo would've assumed that they were just light blue, but now he wondered how he had ever missed the specks of midnight blue in them.

Grian breathed, his eyes stuck on Mumbo. Mumbo's lips felt dry. Grian licked his lips, as if they were dry. Mumbo noticed that Grian's chest was rising and falling slowly.

Grian leaned clumsily against Mumbo saying nothing. Grian then tilted his head to the side, a strange sort of curiosity and wonder in his eyes.

Mumbo mirrored his movements, not breaking eye contact. He couldn't. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to. He kinda…

Mumbo was unsure of who made the first move, who put their hand on the other's back, who breathed in before taking the plunge. Maybe they did it at the same time. Because suddenly, his body was once again pressed against Grian's, but this time they weren't dancing.

No, this time his lips were pressed against Grian's, as he felt Grian kiss him with a newfound hunger. As if he was starving, as if he couldn't keep himself back.

Mumbo slowly slid his hand up Grian's shirt, tracing his spine with his fingertips. He felt Grian gasp against his mouth, felt him tense up for a second before relaxing into Mumbo's touch.

A part of Mumbo knew he shouldn't be doing this– he knew he wouldn't be doing this if they weren’t so drunk. But they were. And they were too far gone to stop.

As if they would've wanted to stop.

Part of Mumbo was screaming at him, knowing that their friendship was too fragile for this, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, not when Grian was holding on to him, refusing to let go.

He felt Grian's hands in his hair, and the last thing he could properly remember was Grian pulling them towards Mumbo's bedroom

#grian #mumbo jumbo #grumbo #hermitshipping #ariana griande #take my tea with formaldehyde (grumbo fic)#tmtwf #hermitcraft

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