#so . is ai The Mother or is aqua/gorou The Mother

[penguinkyun]

finally got to read onk 136 and wow. okay.

love the understanding we're slowly getting of just how bad things were in first gen b-komachi! that fight is incredibly real and heartbreaking to witness

nino, in her own way is trying out of sheer desperation and a whole emotional cocktail to reach out to ai, to find something, letting loose all her bottled up feelings in one go but all she's getting back are practised perfected smiles and deflecting answers in response to the emotion shes pouring out because ai has no idea how to handle this because shes never had friends nor any major fight before so she's falling back on the "smile and please everyone" tactic but it isnt working here because that isnt what nino wants to hear so she gets even more hurtful but ai doesn't know that so all she can do, all she can try right now is smile and its a slow suffocation of everything that could've been because they were friends but now the cracks go too deep and can't be patched up at all because ai is now dead and nino is left with a bunch unresolved feelings that still affects her more than a decade later

its just so heartbreaking and frustrating to witness just exactly how everything culminated into what it is now because no one who could have did anything about it either, not even their manager which pushed the singular star - everyone else is just a side actor narrative even more

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

continuing on, kana's detachment yet empathy with nino as she observes from a distance while ruby is very much embodying ai, being her instead of keeping herself separate. kana knows herself and now she's able to sort out her hidden feelings easier now that she has an outlet in form of nino (she uses her own emotions for acting after all) but ruby with her years of grief and the sudden understanding of ai...yeah she is Not handling this well at all someone please get her out of there

this movie in terms of Ai Potrayal is getting worse and worse by the second oof

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oshi no ko ep 4 spoilers under the cut!!

ohhhhh my fucking god this scene this scene this fucking scene this will never leave my brain it’ll rot there until every star in the sky has faded what the FUCK were they thinking (affectionate)

HE’S :((((((( A BABY. HE’S JUST A BABY. he acts so cold and detached but he loves his friends, he loves his sister, he has trouble thinking of happy moments at first but then it all just comes flowing into him!!! and it breaks my heart because i didn’t even know he could smile like this but of course he can because he’s a kid. he’s not gorou anymore. he’s his own person and that person is a high school boy who enjoys his new life even though he thinks he’s not allowed to. even though his past self literally manifests as a stern voice over his shoulder telling him he’s not allowed to.

GODDDDDDD . god. gorou is literally a fucking GHOST telling aqua not to be happy, never to be happy, just keep obsessing over ai and hating yourself for not being able to save her in the same way gorou must’ve hated himself for not being able to save sarina. just keep living for revenge and nothing else. don’t enjoy yourself. don’t enjoy yourself. don’t enjoy yourself. the relationship between these two makes me so ill because they’re literally the same person but also not. it’s like gorou’s bitter soul was born into a body not made to hold it. aqua is his own person but he’s also haunted by a guilt and an obsession that isn’t his own. he’s haunted by the death of his mother but more than anything he’s haunted by himself. ai would have wanted him to be happy. gorou doesn’t. gorou wants them both miserable and guilty.

and don’t even get me STARTED on akane??????????????????? mimicking ai to make aqua feel better??????????????????????????????? it’s all so twisted and it’ll all just make his obsession grow stronger and stronger. aqua is chasing a ghost. ai is dead and gorou is dead and sarina is dead. he isn’t. but if he doesn’t let himself be happy, if he doesn’t let himself move on, then he might as well be.

[hotshitno2]

What are your thoughts on the twins (mis)communicating about whether to dish their secret to save Arima?

Ohhhh that’s a hard one!

I honestly don’t really a side for which twin in correct, cause in a sense, they’re both in the wrong.

The most obvious one is Aqua, my boy went behind Ruby’s back and exposed they’re mother’s secrete without consultation at all. And his defense being that he vaguely explained it to her in an ominous question about protecting her friends.

To give him the benefit of the doubt, it seemed like his goal was to make Ruby dislike him because of it, and pulled the same apathetic attitude he did with Akane when breaking up with her, so we can assume he had a larger goal here given that he could have handled it a lot better and we’ve seen that hes capable of it. ( to add to that thought, he leaked the information when Ruby previously said how much she hated leakers in chapter 93 )

While it was wrong what Aqua did, Ruby is shown to be especially childish here. While Aqua’s question was vague, she did agree to do anything to help her friend. But in the argument, she barley mentioned Kana’s scandal at all and focused on Aqua’s “betrayal” of their Mom’s image. While acknowledging that they’re little to no bad points to what he did and only helped the twins in their popularity. And sadly Ai is still dead, and the protection of her friend should be important enough to sacrifice Ai’s image.

We can also mention she’s being hypocritical here. She got mad at Aqua for doing anything for popularity, while she has done the exact same thing and gained most of her popularity from underhanded methods that she was getting so mad at Aqua about. In their previous argument in chapter 93, we also see that she told him that she would do almost anything to be popular and get to the dome like Ai. And wouldn’t a scandal with on of bkomatchis members affect if they would go or not?

Honestly I really hope they make up soon, as a Hoshino twins focused account this was a slap in the face, but at least they’re interacting???😭

[aqours]

"Aqua has an Oedipus complex-" first of all beyond the fact the only way you could possibly think this is you never read or watched OnK at all and just read a synopsis and didn't bother to verify if it was accurate or not- this is actually the weakest way you could possibly interpret the nature of the feelings Goro/Aqua had regarding Ai. like, even ignoring the fact that Aqua has such an extreme lack of an Oedipus complex to the point he actively refused to breastfeed from Ai because it would have been creepy and inappropriate to him, everything about Aqua's feelings regarding Ai if anything read as parental quite frankly

Gorou Amamiya became Ai's fan because of Sarina. Because Sarina was somebody important to Gorou that he comforted in her last days, he became a huge fan of Ai in order to carry on Sarina's wishes and to keep supporting her and became a genuine diehard idol fan in the process. Then, he met Ai while pregnant: and had a heart-to-heart conversation with her. And came to the conclusion that Ai was somebody he wanted to support in any capacity. He could have been like Ryousuke and actually become possessive of her and feel like she betrayed him: he did not. He was a medical professional that put aside his own feelings as "a fan" to support her both as a doctor and as a fan in his own way by wishing for her sincere happiness as opposed to an image sold to fans.

He wanted to see her grow up happy and healthy. If Ryousuke had not killed him and there was no murder plot at all? The plot of this story probably would have been about him moving to Tokyo after talking to Ai's manager saying that someone needs to be their family doctor while keeping their secret and him taking the roll. The series would have been about Gorou as the Hoshino family doctor and how he supports them as a member of the sidelines who gives support in his own way.

Aqua never really refers to Ai as his mother much outside of situations when it'd be weirder if he didn't. It's very explicit he does not have a romantic or sexual attraction to Ai in this new life: he already didn't, but now it's like, Negatively So Actually. No longer able to support her as a doctor he even took an acting gig JUST to help further and bolster Ai's career. It's beaten into your face with the subtlety of a dozen hammers to your face his only desire is to watch Ai grow up safe and happily and succesful.

Aqua's/Gorou's relationship with Ai was someone who wanted to see her grow up to be happy. And after some waste of life incel murdered her? To want to make sure that was avenged. Because he was someone older than Ai who valued her and wanted her happiness above everything else in the world, and views the person who is responsible for that as someone who's life is forfeit. Because Ai was a good person who didn't deserve her fate and as someone who only ever wanted to support her, wants to make sure that her memory can rest in peace completely.

If anything, the feelings Aqua/Gorou had towards Ai are parental in nature. So much about his motivations read like a father who wants to avenge his daughter's murder, to kill the man that denied her the happiness the child deserved.

"OnK is soooooooo gross the mc has an Oedipus complex and is a p*do-" not only is this a reading you can only get from a five second sypnosis read and being determined to hate OnK for brownie points, it's not even the right fucked up dead dove way that you could describe their relationship.

EDIT: I feel the need to address this, as it's talked in reblogs and some notes! I never expected this to get notes, and I mostly wrote this in one go. Please understand I wrote this post from the perspective of purely writing Aqua's feelings for Ai purely from a familial perspective. The reality is that Aqua's feelings are complicated and can be read in many different ways: from familial, to that of a lover, to someone who puts Ai on a pedestal as the ultimate Idol and the ideal of what a "true" fan would be: someone who loves their Idol for who she is as opposed to a toxic image. I don't fully 100% agree with this post anymore, but if I had to chose only one familial way for Aqua to view Ai I would probably still default to "vengeful father who wants to avenge his daughter's death." BUT Aqua's feelings are ultra complicated and are on an entire spectrum ranging from "wholesome" to "outright disturbing," so please don't take my words as like a single sure-fire way to interpret him! ty all <3

[aihoshiino]

it's never going to come up in canon but i do often wonder a lot what the result of ai surviving and raising aqrb as their mother would have done for grsr's 'presence' in their lives and identities, so to speak. obviously both of them have differing and (in aq's case) complicated relationships to the people they were 'before', but how much of that is nature and how much of that is nurture (or lack thereof, i guess.......) is interesting to consider.

ruby pretty clearly straightforwardly thinks of herself as sarina 2.0 at least as of the last real interrogation of this aspect of her identity, but earlier in the series, we actually see her drawing more of a dividing line between the two identities, codeswitching between speaking as 'sarina' and 'ruby' particularly strongly at the start of the sweet today arc. i do think these aspects of her identity make sense in tandem - if she considers herself a continuation of sarina's wishes and dreams, i think it makes sense for them to both overlap and yet be differentiated in the way your past and present selves are at once different and the same.

aqua's r/s with gorou's identity is pretty messy and hard to fully nail down though i think that's in part because aqua himself doesn't know what the fuck to make of it, really. as a baby, we see gorou's personality much more prominently but once we timeskip to the twins' middle school days, the current aqua almost feels like an entirely different character. and in a sense, he is: he's lived a whole life's worth of time so far in a completely different body and brain, having interactions and relationships with people gorou amamiya would never have met in his life and occupying a totally different social role to his past self - i think it makes sense to call the sum of those differences 'aqua hoshino' and differentiate them in the same way as early!ruby does btwn her and sarina: the same, yet different. i do think aqua is intended to be read as separate enough from gorou as to be an individual person, just because a lot of things about him (in particular the aqkn and aqak romances) read Very Differently if he is intended to be an unbroken continuation of gorou's identity as opposed to a 14~18yo boy inheriting it. it's not that aqua concretely Is or Is Not gorou - both of these things are true at once and it's this lack of a yes/no binary and associated failure to compartmentalize as needed that seems to be one of the main causes of his Gorou Related Anguish

but!! all this stuff is infinitely more complicated by the fact that the twins were both traumatized by losing ai in their very early childhood. aqua in particular, as we later find out, was essentially retraumatized because gorou's guilt over his mother's death (+ his grief over sarina's, who he associated w/ai) was already floating around in his brain when all this shit happened. so how much of the current aqua is just the result of his personality naturally developing like that and how much is his brain getting fucking mgs4 microwave corridor brain blasted at a formative age?

then of course there's this smoking gun ass line

what does this mean, aka akasaka. i'm going to laminate you.

i do personally like to think that in an ai lives au, the twins ultimately do fully step into their lives as 'aqua hoshino' and 'ruby hoshino' without feeling beholden to their past selves - not abandoning or forgetting them, but making the most of this second opportunity as new people to purify their regrets and lay them to rest with love. this is mostly because i don't think either of the twins could ever sincerely and wholly accept ai as their mother w/o that compartmentalization and just considering that makes me want to scream cry throw up eat fiberglass blow up a building and smash breakable dishware.

i just want the hoshinos to be alive, together and happy and mentally well....................... is that too much to ask

[thoughtspresso]

Aqua plans to die.

And his death will be necessary to take Kamiki down.

While the full details of Aqua’s revenge plan isn’t entirely clear to all of us yet, his intention to place himself in danger as he tries to take Kamiki down is a very clear, and very crucial part of the plot that he anticipates.

Before we can dive into how Aqua is going to achieve his revenge, we need to back up a little bit and understand who he is as a person, how he makes decisions, and what he personally wants.

What is Aqua’s Goal?

From a top-level view, Aqua has a singular emotional goal:

Aqua wishes to take responsibility for the deaths of his mothers.

Aqua/Gorou absolutely believes that after two lives of the same thing, that he was the common denominator. He was the fault his mothers both died, because he was useless and helpless. Had he never been conceived, and more crucially, if his mothers did not have to lie about his existence, they would have both stayed alive. If Gorou’s mom didn’t have to conceal the pregnancy from her parents, or did not have one at all, she would have lived a long life. He believes that perhaps his second chance at life was to save Ai, but he was paralyzed and helpless during her murder. He blames himself for Ai’s death too.

This is a driving force in Aqua’s character, and informs all of his decision making, even to the detriment of his own plans most times. It leads us to his supplementary goal:

Aqua wants to keep the people he loves safe.

Whether it was shielding Ruby from entertainment or making sure she’s in a safe agency with good group members, or Akane not going too far in enacting his revenge plot for him, or Kana from steering clear of a career-ending love scandal, Aqua’s key traumas has led him to feel compelled to take action and do whatever it takes to save people if he had the power to do so.

Here is a breakdown of Aqua’s plans, and some key questions we have to ask about each one.

1. Why make a movie called The 15-Year Lie? And what is “Ai’s true wish”?

I have reason to believe that Ai’s DVD for Aqua would have either been a message about wishing to be loved truly and be hated with full honesty for the person she really was, that she wanted her actual self to be revealed to people. In line with that, I think Aqua’s DVD included Gotanda’s original documentary for the B-Komachi dome event. Which is why Gotanda tried to defend Aqua's decision to reveal her secret in chapter 112, and why in chapter 108 Gotanda says about the script that “this is finally my time to fulfill that promise.”

2. What does he mean by “using Arima Kana”?

There were theories circulating that the person who texted Frill Shiranui could have been Aqua, trying to get her to encourage Ruby to play the role of Ai in the film. However, that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As we know, Aqua was saying that Gotanda should “grow up” and understand that the most important thing for a movie is to succeed commercially first before we talk about artistic value. 

If Aqua had full control over the situation, he would have just straight up casted Akane. After all, that was what he initially proposed, and even contacted her for it despite saying he’ll never have anything to do with her again. What he needed, more than anything, was for the film to succeed commercially. And with the headlining actress no longer (a) the most famous celebrity of their generation, or (b) the heralded genius of their generation, Aqua has no other options.

Except: Arima Kana.

I think the aspect of him using her or manipulating her is mainly to encourage her publicity activities. He’ll be encouraging her to do well in her work to garner more star power for the movie to really be a success, and for her to help his sister be the perfect lead for the show. He’s also going to bank on the idea that Kana will do things for him because she has a crush on him, which he only realized in Chapter 102 after Mem-cho points it out, that he can pursuade Kana to get out of the way of his revenge plot if necessary to keep her safe or place her in the spotlight to attract people’s attention for the movie.

While unlikely, he might even encourage her to stay on a little longer until Ruby gets to the Dome performance.

Or, and maybe this is my shipping delulu talking, but it can also be that he’ll try to just be around her frequently to garner media attention about their relationship. In this way, keeping her close without actually dating her could serve a dual purpose: get people talking about them and the movie, but also make sure that Kana stays safe and nobody makes a rumor of pairing her up with anybody else.

Lastly, also not super likely but another option could be to convince her to headline the show, and play Ai in Ruby’s stead.

3. Why does Kaburagi say that the film is bordering on illegal?

This is a truly crucial piece to unveiling Aqua’s plot. We know Kaburagi likes producing shows that include good-looking young people, and that seems to be his main strategy for raking in young audiences and cashing out.

So why would he have hesitated, even for a second, on a plan to cast the top talent of this young generation, on the biggest news Japan has been talking about, handed to him by a first-hand source--the son of Ai himself?

On all accounts, this would have been the perfect formula for a smash success. So why would Kaburagi say things like, “do you have enough evidence”, when everybody already knew about the University student stalker that murdered her? What was so controversial?

Unless, when they said Aqua will play the culprit, they didn’t mean the Ryosuke.

They meant he was playing Hikaru Kamiki.

Here’s what we know about the film, and what I think Aqua is trying to do:

1. Portray Kamiki in the worst possible way and destroy his reputation.

The 15-Year Lie will be a biopic about Ai’s life from when she was starting out as an idol.  Ai will be portrayed as a poor girl abandoned by her parents, searching for the true meaning of love. We know that this framing will be part of Ai’s characterization because of the scenes where Ruby struggled the most:

In the search for love, they will show her falling for a young man and talented actor at Theatre Lalalai--that being Hikaru Kamiki. Once he gets Ai pregnant, he abandons her, and she runs off to the countryside to hide from the press. When Ai asked him to come visit her, Kamiki, in wanting to protect his career, attempted to send out a stalker. A few years later, seeing his kids wotagei on social media, he manages to find them again and kill Ai.

It is a complete and utter character assasination of Hikaru Kamiki, and while revealing Ai as a flawed person, draws for the sympathy of the viewers to love Ai for who she truly is. Which is exactly why Gotanda keeps insisting for Ruby to play the role, even when Aqua and Kaburagi have sensible recommendations for Akane and Frill.

At that moment, when Ai dies, Aqua will reveal his face, and openly declare that it was his father who orchestrated it all. Then he might even portray his father murdering Ryosuke himself, instead of the suicide that was reported in the media.

2. Aqua will use himself to bait his father out, and force Kamiki’s hand to kill Aqua.

The main reason why Aqua finds it necessary for the film to be a commercial success is because he needs the general public to be one hundred percent in agreement that Hikaru Kamiki is an evil man that deserves to be jailed. (Whether or not he reveals his name in the film, which he could but doesn’t need to.) This public lynching is his first control.

But here’s the thing: Kamiki didn’t directly murder Himekawa Airi and Hoshino Ai himself. At this point in time, Aqua is not aware of Katayose Yura’s murder either. And there is no evidence that connects Uehara Seijirou and Ryosuke’s suicides as murders by Kamiki’s hands.

And on top of all that, when these things happened, Kamiki was fully a minor.

Akane’s fears and interpretation was that Aqua would murder his own father because it’s the only form of revenge he could enact himself. 

But she’s wrong, there’s one more thing Aqua could do: make Kamiki commit murder again. If he kills Aqua, there will now be a murder that the public agrees without a doubt was done by Kamiki himself.

He can go to jail once and for all, or he can also get stabbed by an angry fan--Aqua doesn’t care. All he cares about is that it’s a sure win, and it’s over forever. He launches his sister’s career into the spotlight, he keeps everybody safe, and he atones for the death of his mothers with his own life.

In summary: Aqua plans to get killed by his father, so that an actual murder has occurred for which he could be jailed or publicly ostracized or even killed.

And here’s why I think Aqua will fail:

Aqua’s assumptions about his father are incorrect.

He believes that Kamiki’s reason for killing Ai was because her pregnancy would ruin his reputation and career as a rising actor. That’s why Aqua tries to hit him there. And he believes defaming him might provoke him to get killed.

But I don’t think Kamiki cared about his reputation at all anymore. He left his career as an actor behind after Kindaichi kicked him out of Lalalai, and went on to graduate from Faculty of Science. He never went back in front of the spotlight, instead opening a talent agency around the exact time he believed his kids might be joining the industry.

I have reason to believe that Kamiki thinks murdering Airi and Ai was to protect his children or some other great act of justice against his rapist(s). And that even killing Katayose Yura was done because he didn’t want a liar like her to take the spotlight that was supposedly for his daughter Ruby.

I don’t think Kamiki will harm Aqua.

But I do think he will come forward and expose himself and his twisted justification, and he might even openly give interviews to the media.

Instead, I do believe Kamiki might pay attention to Kana’s honest acting--something he’s never seen before in a person, and try to get close to her somehow. And if Kamiki’s name is not revealed, and if the theories are true that Frill works for Kamiki’s agency, he might recruit Kana to join him.

All this is to say, get Kana out of this manga. Somebody, please save her.

[hamliet]

I have a question you said in a review the eyes in the characters of oshi no ko when I read about it design wise I am intersted in the eyes of Akane, Kana and Mem-cho mean something about there role and character in the story I was wondering if you can elabortate on it.

Okay, so! To start with this topic, though, we actually have to talk about Ai first and foremost.

Hoshino Ai breaks down into several meanings. For one thing, it breaks into “hoshi no eye,” which literally means “starry eye” in Japanese. Ai’s eyes notably have stars in them, and Aqua and Ruby have one starry eye each.

Of course, this breaks into several meanings itself. "Starry eyed" is an English idiom for an idealistic, childlike view of the world. If we break the "star eye" idea down further, "star" references Ai being a "star," an idiom for a famous person.

"Hoshino" also contains a homonym for the Japanese verb "hoshi" (欲しい), which means "to want." This also indicates a huge part of Ai's character. The kanji used to write Hoshino means "star" and "indigo"--indigo is the color that you get when you combine aqua and ruby, by the way.

Plus, Ai is written in katakana (アイ), not kanji as would be typical for a name. Katakana is the Japanese script for loan words, which reinforces the literal translation of “eye.” But, it's also a homonym for the Japanese word for love (愛), which is pronounced like "eye." In turn, the story explores love as a major theme--for example, Ai’s final thoughts are about her finally understanding love.

So, from Ai, we see that eyes and particularly starry eyes matter.

In the OP, we see a progression of five eyes--Aqua, Ruby, Kana, Akane, and Mem-Cho.

Hikaru, Aqua, and Ruby

Aqua and Ruby share one starry eye that goes black when they are in a bad mental state (Hikaru's eyes are also starry eyes that have turned black, again reinforcing that he never had a childhood).

The implication of both Ruby and Aqua having one starry eye each and switching between looking more like their mother's eyes and their father's eyes is to emphasize their internal conflict. They both bear the legacy of their parents, and have their own legacies in their past lives and a blank slate, a chance for a new start (the unstarred eye). What they do with this life and which legacy they want to focus on (Ai's love and life, or Hikaru's focus on trauma and repeating a cycle of violence) is their choice.

If we take the saying "the eyes are the window to the sopul," then we also see that as much as Ruby and Aqua are Sarina and Gorou, they are also Ruby and Aqua, children of Ai and Hikaru. That's why I actually am not so sure about the common fan presumption that Crow Girl saying the children had no souls meant they were supposed to be stillborn. They aren't Sarina and Gorou any more so than they are Ruby and Aqua.

Now let's finally move onto your characters.

Kana

Kana’s eyes resemble galaxies.

What this means isn't entirely clear, but instead of a single star, she has hundreds in her eyes. This presumably indicates her potential as a human being, and her way of reminding both Aqua and Ruby (in her better moments, anyways) that they are part of a huge world and a huge cosmos, and don't have to focus on just one aspect of life--namely, revenge on Hikaru for Aqua and revenge for the doctor for Ruby. Other people around them also contain their own light.

Akane and Mem-Cho

Akane’s look like an evening sky.

Mem-Cho’s resemble daytime, complete with light reflections forming clouds as shown below:

Again, I'm not entirely sure what this means per se, but I would guess it emphasizes, thematically, the reality of life. People live, and they die. Day comes, and then night.

Death (something repeatedly associated with Akane--no I don't think she's going to die) is a part of life. I would guess Akane will help Aqua and Ruby accept this part of themselves somehow, as written by @aspoonofsugar here.

Mem-Cho, on the other hand, shines brightly, illuminating their need to grow in some ways and offering wise advice. She's not as complex a character at the moment, but her role so far seems congruent with this idea.

[penultimate-step]

brief thoughts about Aqua's potential motivations in OnK 154

I notice that the latest chapter has left me a bit confused as to Aqua and Ruby's character motivations in retrospect. Playing with my own thoughts a little: Aqua's impulse for revenge has been portrayed throughout the manga up til now as something inherently destructive, both to himself and others - this contrasts with the revenge we're given, which is forcing Hikaru to confront Ai's emotions and his own failures. Ai asks Aqua to help Hikaru, and indeed, I would argue that showing him this truth, even if it is so many years to late to save him, is a constructive act rather than a destructive one.

And like. On one hand that's nice, that's a sign of growth for Aqua that he isn't prioritizing hurt and pain above all else, that is a good direction for him. On the other hand it does leave me a little unsure what was going on when he talked about revenge in previous chapters? Even as late as chapter 150, after the movie is completely filmed, the drive for revenge is contrasted to the wish to live on and find happiness. One could argue that this had more to do with his own emotions than the actual act itself - that the problem with Aqua's revenge has always been more about his own issues, his suicidal thoughts and how he treated the people around him, than anything in the real world - but I don't think I quite buy that?

So my guess that there was something in this plan that could have been much more harmful and destructive. By confronting Hikaru this way, Aqua is making a choice not to go that route, to move forward and act in a less destructive way, to prioritize Ai's wishes and his own future over his own guilt and self-harm - and I think in future chapter's we'll learn what that other, could-have-been path might have been.

There's another bit in this chapter that gave me a some pause - Ruby. The final page of the chapter has her standing outside the door, listening in - I don't want to assume too much based on one wordless, shadowed facial expression, but she seems deeply unhappy, almost haunted. Given Ruby's previous meeting with Hikaru (also some speculation from 152) I think that while Aqua has been aware of Ai's request, and has been having his internal struggle about what to do with his revenge, he has been keeping Ruby in the dark - she knows this movie is for the sake of revenge, but she likely didn't recognize Hikaru and is possibly unaware of all of these details, even though she was the one acting it out. This might be the first time she's hearing any of this!

(Aqua's line that Ruby "was acting that line as a lie" may completely disavow this. I'm not 100% on this interpretation. But given the surrounding events I'm more willing to believe that she didn't have the full context here.)

When Aqua originally released the information that they were Ai's children, Ruby saw this as a betrayal of their family so severe that she cut ties. They later made up, but not by addressing the fundamental issue - Aqua's identity reveal papered over the issues that were there. But while Ruby sees Gorou as someone who categorically is on her side and wouldn't betray her, that isn't exactly true - the act that caused her to no longer see Aqua as a trustworthy figure were still something he did, and didn't regret. So how will Ruby react to hear Aqua, her beloved idol, say that his revenge was in part something that would help their mother's killer? Aqua has had plenty of chapters considering the worth of revenge versus happiness - Ruby hasn't had that. It's possibly she went along with this plan because it was Aqua who asked - but equally possibly that this is a moment that she realizes that her idol has plans that go against her own, causing their relationship to strain once more.

Now, I've made a lot of guesses from very little information here, it's entirely possible that I'm completely off base on both points - that this was Aqua's plan from the start, and that Ruby was completely informed. But these are points I think are the factors that I think are not fully explained as of right now, which means I think will receive further elaboration in coming chapters.

[redge]

【OSHI NO KO】 Season 2 Episode 15

When I started consuming this media, I made a Twitter thread while watching Season 1. Now that I caught up with the manga, I'll just put my thoughts here on Tumblr.

The opening song is one of the best parts of this season.

This manga panel made it to anime! 🤣 As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. 🤪

It's so interesting that season 2 has been using this I'll Go With Sweet Today scene for two episodes now. As far as I know, the only time Abiko-sensei mentioned Sweet Today was when she and Kichijouji-sensei made it through a deadline. It's curious.

Himekawa Taiki, all shaved and clean (this sounds wrong but why not HAHA!)

Abiko-sensei, can we have a Tokyo Blade spin-off where Blade falls in love with Tsurugi? If not Abiko-sensei, then Aka-sensei, can we please have that angle for Taiki and Kana? Yes? HAHAHA

Another deviation from the manga (that I actually like haha). As Aqua is watching Kana rehearse, that's when he started thinking of "memories when I was happy". His thought process here was more emphasized compared to the manga.

My favourite OnK character is Arima Kana and it was in this chapter that I thought maybe Kana and Aqua have a chance? Above anything, I just want Arima Kana to be happy. Please Aka-sensei. T_T

Please give this doctor his peace of mind. For everyone's mental health, he needs to calm down and let Aqua be the teenager that he's supposed to be come on Gorou-sensei.

The other side of the fandom hates Kana Arima for liking Aqua even when he is dating someone else like it's a nasty feeling to have and you can actually do something about it. Well, if Kana was that bad of a woman, she would've run to Aqua and assisted him. But she chose to stand by because Akane was there. And why would Kana run to him? Who is she to Aqua, anyway? Heck at this part of the story, she doesn't have any idea what she is to Aqua (even after chapter 150, I am not convinced. Yes, I have trust issues). She's just a girl Aqua entrusted the B-Komachi members with. Right? Even that childhood boast is just her foolish assumption.

Now let's put emotional acting to use. Imagine you're Kana Arima. You have this crush, you see him often, but you can't do anything about it because he has a girlfriend. When you're suffering from jealousy, he'd state that he's just dating for work. Then he makes a "plan to make his partner happy", then he avoids you, then tells you he's protecting you, then tells you he can't help but have fun when he's with you. And after all those things you still don't know what you are to him. 🙃

Why do some people condemn this woman for having this hopeless romantic love for Aqua? If anything, our enemy here should be Aqua. I mean, Ruby says it all, right? ↓

Kidding. I love Aqua, he's just a broken, lost and confused teenager but I love Kana so much more please give this character the happiness she deserves I beg you Akasaka-sensei. T_T

There's something crucial missing from Gotanda-san's "I'd thought for sure that..." that was in the manga. But then, what importance would other characters' thoughts be if we have no clear proof what (who) Aqua is thinking, from his own mouth? So Aqua, when will I know your feelings, my dear child? 😅

Trigger warning for the next screencaps

This was painful but Aqua's monologue before the execution of that Sayahime and Touki scene was 100 times more painful for me. Actually, Aqua having these last memories of Ai as his mother is torture.

The voice actor of Kana posted on Twitter (X) about this scene. Interesting, right?

TL;DR:

Akasaka-sensei, conclude this manga already please 😅

[chairout]

tbh I’ve always wished Aka would expand further on Gorou’s backstory, just because it would make Aqua a much more understandable character. Gorou alone is already a tragic character, as he was technically being responsible for his mother dying while his father ditched him, causing his maternal grandparents who had to raise him to view him as the reason their daughter died. His guilt and pain from his childhood is so all-encompassing that he pushes away his dreams to attempt to atone for sins he had never really committed, and effectively gave his life away to help others. His dying thoughts are “oh no I hope Ai will still be okay if I’m not there” *bleeds out*

It becomes WAY WORSE when you consider that his initial years being reincarnated are his first years of having an actual parent, which is then ripped from him as his mother(and idol) lays bleeding out in front of him. He has to relive nearly the exact same trauma as he had decades ago as Gorou. That’s some cruel and unusual luck for him. Of course Aqua is incredibly dysfunctional, because he’s probably gone through the worst trauma out of all of the cast.

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko Chapter 155 Thoughts

The chapter title is Happy End! Well, not for Hikaru. He's so broken we don't even see his face

The framing of this as the end of Ruby's revenge is interesting but um... what revenge? We haven't seen Ruby thinking about revenge since she lost her black hoshigan. This would hit a lot harder if Ruby had done anything lately to show she cared about revenge

It's a real shame because Ruby's lines in Ch 115 when she was doing the impromptu audition with Frill and Akane gave me chills

I still dream about the day my mother died, even now... will everyone I love end up dying?... I want to go to where everyone is. I want to die too. That's powerful stuff! Of course she would want revenge. But then she realizes Gorou is alive and everything is fine again (??)

As for Ruby's forgiveness, unfortunately that happened off the page (sadly that's become a running theme lately with how rushed things feel to me). Her conversation with Hikaru in Ch 147 is the closest we got to seeing her make that decision

And what exactly did she do in her acting to deliver that forgiveness? I'm tired of being told about it, I want to see it

I'm not sure why Ruby was chasing after Hikaru in this chapter with double black hoshigan if she was all set to forgive him but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, none of that matters because Miyako is back, hugs are back, Aqua is crying in his mother's arms and... OK BUT WHERE WAS MIYAKO UNTIL NOW? WHY DID YOU FORGET HER, AKASAKA? Never mind, sorry, this was an adorable moment

Someone finally remembered Yura Katayose. I really hope it's shown how Aqua realized she had anything to do with this

Nino jumpscare! I am obsessed with Nino's obsession with Ai. The toxic yuri is off the charts and I'm eating it up

Look at this poster. Nino could have simply cut her and Ai out of it but no, she took the time to cross out and scribble over the other B Komachi girls, presumably for daring to breathe the same air as Ai

If you have not, you need to read 45510 (translated by aihoshiino) which is not only the basis for the lyrics in Idol but a deep dive into Nino's psyche. It was obvious by this point, but we now canonically know that Nino is the narrator in 45510 because of the panel in this chapter where she hits the delete button

Wait, hold up, Nino is using an mp3 player? My god, she really is stuck in time isn't she

She has trash bags all over her house because this woman is a shut in who does nothing but watch videos of Ai, listen to old B Komachi songs, and stare at her poster. Honestly? Same. I see you, Nino, and we can be delusional together

I believe in another life that Nino healed herself with a lot of therapy and a yoga retreat, stopped putting Ai on a pedestal, embraced her sexuality, and confessed to Ai. They're now living with the twins in a small house on the outskirts of Tokyo. Nino writes a mommy blog called "My dream life with precocious twins: me, myself, and Ai"

Get it? See what I did there? Okay...

[swamp-spirit]

I’ve been resisting getting into Internet Fights about my Oshi no Ko opinions, but they have been building in my heart and I need to get them off my chest. It’s a long ramble, but the upshot is:

1. People are way to harsh on Akane 2. Aqua sucks, but also his feelings about Ai are way more nuanced than he gets credit for 3. Ruby also sucks, and pretending she doesn’t is a disservice to her as a character 4. Holy shit this got long

Ahoy for manga spoilers

With the first episode out, I want to start by saying this: I am putting Gorou’s comments about dating Ai to the side for this meta. Obviously it is wrong for a grown-ass man to hesitate when asked if he’d date a teen celeb. I see his comments towards Serena as just trying to offer comfort, but his comments towards Ai are an absolute NOPE. If somebody isn’t able to engage with Aqua at all after that, or engage with the show, I think that’s perfectly understandable, but I also think, to discuss any other aspect of Aqua and his relationship with Ai, I am filing that under ‘yup, that’s some creepy anime bullshit‘.

Now onto the meta.

So Akane’s pissed people off again. And what she said is pretty fucked up. Like “I know your dead Mom better than you because I studied her“???

The thing is, she isn’t wrong. Like she shouldn’t have said it. Akane is good at reading people, but bad at communicating normally. But like.... she isn’t wrong.

Ruby has a very specific image of her mother. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing her to Aqua and how much more pure her love is. She called Ai “Mama“ and Aqua only ever used her name! He never got beyond seeing her as a sexy object.

This doesn’t ring true for me at all.

Ai was emotionally stunted and starved for love. Like a lot of teens in that position, she went looking for it in bad places. She became the idol of people who saw her as an object. She had children in hopes they’d give her a family.

This is actually a really common thing for teen moms, and the stories don’t usually turn out like Ai’s. Toddlers are dependent on their parents, but they don’t have empathy. They’re temperamental and selfish, they’ll kick and bite and yell that they hate you and you’re a bad mom. And that’s normal and natural! That’s part of being a kid! Aqua wanted Ai to have normal kids, but I think it’s somewhat lucky she got two kids who adored her so entirely.

To Ruby, Ai was perfect. Serena didn’t have present parents. She was a lonely dying kid, and Ai was everything she didn’t have. Ai was loved. She traveled, she could move her body like she wanted, she was beautiful and bright.

Even though Ruby wasn’t a ‘real’ child, I think Ai was entirely her mother. Serena attached to Gorou because he was there when her parents weren’t. Ai was Serena’s first chance to have a parent, and Ai seems to be this perfect being to her. Only now, as she reaches the age Ai was and experiences the intense emotions of coming into adulthood, she’s starting to wonder if maybe Ai was unhappy too. She never once considers that Ai would want the world to know about her kids. To her, Ai was the perfect idol, and anything that threatens that is disrespectful to Ai.

But that wasn’t what Ai wanted. We know now she felt stifled by her image and wanted to share her true self. I was particularly hit by the short story where one of Ai’s Idol co-starts deletes a vulnerable message from Ai, wishing for friendship. She can’t stand seeing Ai as a vulnerable, full person and wants to protect Ai’s image as the perfect idol.

I don’t mean to say Ruby’s love of Ai is any less, but she very much feels like a child who isn’t fully ready to see her mother as a person. I think there’s some happiness for her in being an idol, but I think it’s tragic. I see people wishing it could just be a sweet manga about a daughter chasing her dream to feel connected to her mother, but... I think some of those people miss the point of what being an idol means in this story. Ai became an idol to learn to love and be loved, and found herself isolated and fake. Ruby chases a sick girl’s dream and the connection idoldom gives her to the two adults that first showed her love, but we’re seeing that she’s putting that over the relationships she has now. She’s chasing the same dream of perfect love and sabotaging her relationship with everyone in her life to get it.

Now for Aqua’s feelings.

I think it matters a lot to learn about Gorou’s family situation. His life story is one of feeling he failed to protect women. And it’s made him real weird.

His mom died having him and like... lots of kids feel guilty for that, but he spent his whole childhood being blamed for it. Serena is the only genuine connection we saw him making and, by the way her carried that badge, I don’t think it’s just that his other connections weren’t on screen. He saw somebody else who wasn’t loved and did his best to be there for her. And watched her die again.

The crush on Ai is HELLA CREEPY, but, at the end of the day, he didn’t hit on her or put his feelings first. He focused on her health, and, when he was reincarnated, his thought was “good, now I can protect her“. He didn’t see her as a mother, but, unlike Ruby, he saw her as vulnerable. He wanted to protect his ‘fake‘ mother in a way he hadn’t been able to protect his real one, in the way he hadn’t been able to protect Serena, and he failed in the most brutal way. We see in his panic attack that he still feels like the responsible adult that should have been able to protect her, that Ai was a young woman under his care, AND that part of him feels like the scared five year old who was so small and tiny when a grown-ass man stabbed his mother in front of him.

It’s also defined the rift between the twins. Ruby sees herself as a victim, trapped on the other side of the glass as somebody took away her beloved mother, and who is still being shut out. Aqua sees himself as complicit, somebody who’d promised to protect Ai, that watched her get stabbed and bleed out. Ruby wants to protect her mother’s secrets and the perfect image Ai gave everything to, Aqua wants the world to know the human woman behind the image.

And it’s made Aqua weird around women. He doesn’t want Ruby or Akane or Kana to be another woman he fails to protect. He shuts them out, lies, and denies them agency to protect himself from losing them again. I think it’s also telling that, even though revenge was his reason for living as a child, when he thought he didn’t need to get revenge anymore, he wasn’t lost and without purpose, he was happy. (And declared he would now dedicate his life to protecting Akane, a chance to succeed where he’s always failed) He isn’t clinging to his revenge, he’s caught in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure.

Akane is good at reading people. Kana and Ruby are both very much teens. Aqua’s actions are inexplicable and infuriating. Akane knows what’s up. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, but she knows what’s up. Aqua isn’t a baffling enigma, he’s a fucked up dude on a downward spiral.

She’s not trying to stop him from killing his dad because Murdering a Serial Killer is Bad. She’s straight up offered to help kill him. But she and the director are the only people who have picked up exactly how much Aqua hates himself, and that he very well might plan to die to do this. Aqua doesn’t think he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t value his own life! Shit is dire!

Aqua saved her, and is probably one of the few people she can truly talk to. Akane is a socially awkward weirdo who’s too smart for her age, and Aqua appreciates it and plays on her level. She’s emotionally clumsy and accidentally cruel, but I think she’s right that Ruby isn’t seeing her mother as a full person yet (which is normal for a teen! especially a deeply traumatized teen) and she’s right that, if left unchecked, Aqua will destroy himself because he feels like he deserves it.

Like, I totally get thinking Kana and Aqua are more romantically compatible, but right now, Aqua desperately needs somebody who can call him on his bullshit. I’m so sick of people hating on Akane for not being blindly supportive on what is pretty clearly a complicated suicide attempt.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oshi no ko will never be a normal love story. never ever ever ever ever ever ever

[hotshitno2]

MAJOR ONK SPOILERS CAUSE IM BORED

I find it kinda interesting how different the twins are when it comes to communicating tbh

Ruby, for one is extremely talented at it. From what we’ve seen, she seems to manage to get along with anyone she likes or doesn’t like. Meiya could be an example.

The funny thing is, it’s the exact opposite for Aqua. Even we, THE READERS only know what’s he trying to do of saying half the time. With mengo constantly hiding his face when he’s saying smth meaningful or wtv.

Aqua’s even worse when it comes to people he cares about. With the exception to Ai and Ruby, we barely ever hear his opinions on any other character much less talk with them properly ( I’m mostly talking about Kana lmao )

So I’m actually kind of wondering why the twins are so different when it comes to communicating, and I think the main thing is their reincarnations.

It mostly started around when Ai became their mother. Ruby seemed to adjust fast, with her never really having parents in her life, she acknowledged Ai as her mother much quicker than Aqua. And seemed to hold on to that dream Ai told her about much more. I think this has to do with Gorou.

When Sarena was admitted into the hospital, her parents barely ever visited, as mentioned. But unlike Gorou, Sarena had an adult she could rely on. Though she interprets it as romantic love. I honestly think it was rly important that Gorou was there so show Sarena that some adults can be relied opon. And so even in her next life, she trusted Ai and Miyako and opened up to them. ( it’s also important to mention that she seems to ignore the sadder parts of her life, no doubt because of how she was living in her past life knowing she could die at any moment, so she definitely has suppressed some trauma like Aqua by pretending it’s not there to herself and others ) but having those people to open up to helped her be able to create and seek relationships easily.

Aqua, on the other hand. Probably never had an adult to rely on judging from his time as Gorou as well. He’s been shown to be shackled with guilt which takes the form of Gorou. I think it’s not just because he was a doctor and couldn’t save Ai. But because of what we learned about Gorou in this scene.

I think Aqua has had guilt problems long before he was even Aqua. And because of that started to close himself off. It’s mentioned his grandpa hated him, because he indirectly killed his birth mother and stud yknow. But when Miyako opened offered to adopt the twins, Aqua probably never saw her as someone to rely on. Because in his mind, he was an adult. Adding on the guilt from his past life and the fresh would that was Ai’s death. He probably didn’t think he could talk to her. Or anyone for that matter, cause he was an adult. ( like when they mentioned counciling )

That mentality continued when he talked about keeping Ruby away from his revenge. Kana, Miyako and the director as well. With the exception of Akane, he never really told anyone anything about himself. Even with Akane he never confessed any of his worried, she had to figure it out herself. Same for the director.

Aqua tends to just never talk about anything ever, which ironically has more people figure out his emotions than people did for ruby, who covers up her bad emotions with other stories or more happy ones.

I hope if either of the twins have an emotional confrontation, it’s with each other. We rarely ever see them in the same panel. BUT EVEN THEN you can still tell how well they know each other through chapter 93. Especially on Ruby’s side. So I’m hoping praying screaming for Aka to give some moments together soon.

God I need a life.

[aqours]

I think part of what makes OnK so unique is that like, while it has an incredibly huge focus on idols in particular and idol culture, it's not an idol anime/manga so to say

Since idol stuff usually comes in the flavors of:

Just cute girls singing and dancing (Love Live!, Idolm@ster, Zombieland Saga, etc)

Very vocal critiques of the idol industry (Perfect Blue)

(And I will go on the record for full disclosure I love normal idol stuff, Love Live! is one of my favorite franchises ever)

But despite the prevalence of idols it's not an idol anime. And because of that it's able to comment on more than just the idol industry in a way I don't think anything else can. While it does have an emphasis on idol stuff OnK is, at its core a scathing critique of the entire entertainment industry and everything it perpetuates. But it's still allowed to be more than that!

The Reality Dating Show Arc is an incredibly dark and bitter commentary on online bullying. It was written following the suicide of an actress as a result of online bullying, and it is a scathing commentary on the mob mentality prevalent in online spaces, on how quickly we are willing to jump on a bandwagon the moment it becomes acceptable to attack somebody. And it has nothing to do with idols- not a single character involved in the incident is an idol.

How fake and slimy the entire entertainment industry, not just idol culture, is. How talented actors are screwed over in favor of what sells, how people view child actors as just washed up has-beens when they're past the height of their cuteness.

And even a commentary on revenge and the tragedy of the two leads. Aqua's and Ruby's original lives as Gorou and Sarina were completely defined by being Ai Hoshino's fan: and then when reincarnated as her child, their lives are inherently tied to her once more. And then she's gone. And everything in their lives ties to her in every capacity. Aqua's desire for revenge, Ruby's desire to emulate her mother, and how it completely mentally ruins these two people and how they would be happier if they were doing anything other than living every aspect of their lives for Hoshino Ai.

Oshi no Ko is a scathing critique of idol culture, yes, but it's allowed to be so much more than that because it's not something that focuses exclusively on idol, you can't really call it an idol anime or manga, just "something that also has idols in it." And it's better for it.

[aihoshiino]

Oshi no Ko 145: A Story Without 「アイ」

The question of how exactly Aqua and Ruby were reborn is something that floats around vaguely in the early stages of the Oshi no Ko, teased as a mystery that will exist in the background as opposed to one actively pursued for resolution. My theory is that this element of the story was likely more prominent in the version of Oshi no Ko that was originally conceptualized (i.e, the one that did not involve Ai's death) but the abrupt change to the story's dramatic tone and intensity pushed it into the background. As it stands, Aqua's wishy-washy statement that he'll figure it out once he's done enjoying Baby Mode about matches the weight this is given is the narrative, at least to begin with.

Even with the turn in tone and focus the manga takes, we do ultimately circle back to addressing and answering this question via the presence of Crow Girl/Tsukuyomi who seems to be the one responsible for facilitating their reincarnation in some way or another. Admittedly, this reveal in 145 comes a bit abruptly and the implied motivations it ascribes to Tsukuyomi don't… really line up with the things she says and does prior to the Movie Arc. But what really left me a little cold with this reveal is that it does not involve Ai whatsoever. Her name and even her image are not even once mentioned, not even in passing by GRSR.

This made me feel pretty uncomfortable for a variety of reasons I'll get into later but it wasn't until I started going through the manga to look more into how the reincarnation had been discussed before that I realized just why this felt so jarring - it simply wasn't consistent with what came beforehand. While the current explanation excludes Ai entirely, prior discussion of GRSR's reincarnation centers her to an equal and opposite degree.

Both Gorou and Sarina are thinking of Ai as they die, with both of them also (even if only symbolically) hearing her voice in their final moments. Gorou hears her singing as his ringtone plays and Ruby says Ai was "singing in [her] head" up to the very end. Ai's face is implicitly the first thing either of them see after being reborn and Aqua even speculates, as his first guess as to the nature of their rebirth, that it was this strength of feeling all focused on specifically Ai that caused it to happen.

Not only that, but Ai is even centered in the "fake" story of their rebirth that the twins sell Miyako to get her on board.

Perception of this bit in the fandom seems to vary from "it's just a joke" to "Jokes Are The Deepest Lore" and beyond. I myself don't put a massive amount of weight on it. However, in discussions where this is taken even semi-seriously as foreshadowing then it is flatly disingenuous to cherrypick the AQRB crumbs while not giving the same weight to the (imo, equally loaded) implication that Gorou and Sarina were reborn as Ai's children because she herself was favoured by the gods.

As the murder mystery elements of the story take prominence, this question is left unanswered but resurfaces towards the end of the Private arc with the arrival of Tsukuyomi. Here, too, we see Ai being centered as a key figure in Gorou and Sarina's reincarnation - the chapter is even named 'Mother and Mother', in reference to both of Aqua's mothers for each of his lives.

Most tellingly of all to me, however, is Tsukuyomi's appearance at the end of the chapter. Literally her first speaking line is commenting on how kind the gods must be to bring the Hoshinos together - describing them as (paraphrased) two motherless children and a childless mother and ascribing a great deal of weight to their togetherness.

Even if you disagree that the manga is centering Ai in this context, it is undeniable that the togetherness of the Hoshinos as a trio and specifically as a mother and children is what Tsukuyomi is highlighting as being meaningful here.

We even see a repeat of this in chapter 118 and her first on-screen conversation with Aqua.

I've seen people take this to mean, in the context of future chapter hindsight, that she is claiming the 'meaning' of his rebirth is his connection to Ruby. But if you go back and follow the thread that leads to this mic drop... it's a conversation that's about Ai. And specifically, Aqua is told to consider what it means that his soul was reborn in that body (emphasis mine): i.e, what does it mean that he was reborn specifically as Ai Hoshino's son?

With all this laid out, I really don't think it's a stretch to say that Ai, both as an idol and a person, is treated as a more or less equal part of the GRSR -> AQRB reincarnation as the two people being reborn. Which, like… she should be! She's their mother. But when we do finally get around to concretely answering this question..

Zip. Zilch. Nada. It had nothing to do with her. The closest we get to an acknowledgement that she even exists full stop is her goofy ass bunny mascot's face on (presumably) Sarina's snowman.

As I've said before, the basic beats of this as an answer to 'why reincarnation' are not inherently bad or unworkable. An animal repaying human kindness in some supernatural way is a tale as old as tales and given the ways in which Oshi no Ko plays around with mythological and folkloric ideas, making the reincarnation the result of a Tsuru no Ongaeshi-esque repayment of selfless kindness suits it quite well. The issue here is not one of an inherently broken idea, but flawed execution.

If this is the final word on the hows and whys of Gorou and Sarina's reincarnation - and I feel more or less settled that it is - then Ai has been entirely excluded from the birth of her own children. The sheer amount of weight placed on her role, specifically, as Aqua and Ruby's mother has vanished because after all the build up of why? the answer seems to be just that she happened to be pregnant.

I don't think I need to overexplain why it feels gross for Ai to be reduced to a convenient walking uterus in this regard. This was the element of this answer that made me so uncomfortable when from the get go: Ai's arc is so overwhelmingly about her being denied the right to agency over her own body and sexuality and her giving birth to Aqua and Ruby is, in part, a reclamation of it. It wasn't just an act of love performed for her children but also one for herself - she risked everything in order to give herself the family she had longed for her entire life.

If this incongruity was intentional, I think I would be interested in it as an element of Ai's tragedy - the idea that even the birth of her own children was hijacked by forces beyond her control and warped into something that existed to serve her fans. But I really don't get the sense that this was considered at all and honestly… that's kind of equally sad.

I was wordvomiting a much less articulate version of all the above in the Oshi no Brainrot Discord server and @penguinkyun said a few things that I think really nailed the heart of the issue here:

"theres barely anything of ai here when shes such a central character […] removing ai's own emotional stake in the matter and rounding it up to "crow girl felt bad for gorou and sarina because they helped her that one time and then reincarnated them" just…doesnt hold the same impact."

This is, I think, key to what made this reveal fall so flat for me and highlights this chapter's place in a much broader trend of Ai's place in the twins' lives being downplayed and favour of amping up the intensity of the GRSR relationship. To once again quote Lace because I think she sums it up quite neatly:

"[...] akasaka is absolutely ramping up the soap operaness of grsr with ai as collateral."

And that just kind of bums me out. :(