#snv Zeus

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#121 Go away papa

Daddy Poseidon + Atheist!Y/n had twins...And the babies got all their features from Poseidon...and straight up don't like him-...hell even in your belly the moment Poseidon put his hand on your belly they KICK it off you as if going "GET YOUR DISCUTING HANDS OFF MUMMY"-...normally the twins didn't kick or move a lot like they knew your uncomfy...the twins don't like many only cute and cuddly with you but there are surprising...special exceptions...like uncle hades, kojiro,Heracles and... Adamas both twins smile at him-...pathetic dad Poseidon is all I want-

Zeus*Looking at the twin's who are the carbon copy of him wrapped in little burritos sucking their binkies...only a month old-*...They attack?

Poseidon*Holding his twins in arms with bags under his eyes*...Worse

Twins*looking at Zeus like he is the scum of the earth,heaven n Hell, up and down unimpressed by him*...

Poseidon:-They JUDGE you...

Zeus:...

...Dunno what their names be-

[kanroji-san]

Hades: In 10 years, I guarantee, I will be Y/n's second husband~

Zeus:...What will happen to her first spouse?

Hades:...Nothing you can prove

[justvir]

Yes or No?

[recreationalfanfics]

RoR x Reader Incorrect Quotes but it's Tik Tok Audios:

(Y/n): YOU'RE UGLY WHEN YOU LIE, ZEUS.

Zeus: I'M NOT LYING!

(Y/n): THEN WHY ARE YOU UGLY!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n), trying to convince Brunhilde the best way to defeat the gods: My resolution? Völunder Air strikes. Bomb them. Keep bombing them. Bomb them again-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gen Z Trickster Diety! (Y/n), walking in to talk to Loki: Dawg, why didn't you tell me your cousin had all that ass???

Loki: *slowly swallowing the mead he was drinking and looking at you*.....

Gen Z Trickster Diety! (Y/n): No, bro, hear me out-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posedion, flirting with human! (Y/n): I think you're, like, the opposite of unattractive. Like, I think you're ugly but REVERSE UGLY, you know what I mean?

(Y/n):....

Poseidon: Like, I think you're like...a 2/10, PLUS 8, uh, divided by 4-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n), after Brunhilde asks them to help Buddha with something: Perhaps I can help him in a room in which there are no others?

Everyone nearby: *gasps*

Buddha: 😏

(Y/n): Or you can all watch, I don't give a shit-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shiva, if he fought (Y/n): You fight pretty well. You sure you're not just trying to catch my attention?~

(Y/n), who is very gay for the valkyries: Everything I do is for the bitches, I have never done anything for the male gaze.

[yukisnowowl]

Meme for @luxthestrange

Marriages in Record Of Ragnarok be like

Zeus And Hera be like:

Shiva And his Wive’s be like:

{This  includes to fanfic}

[monochrome-cropcrown]

Happy Father's Day(???)

😐💀💀😭

[sketchy-owl]

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 19

*Y/N and Poseidon relaxing on the couch*

Y/N:*reads a book*

Poseidon:*doing the same*

Zeus:*kicks the door* HA!! YOU'RE HAVING SEX!

Poseidon:*sighs*

Y/N: *closes the book* Zeus...dear brother in law,do you need glasses?

Zeus:....uh no I...

Y/N:Strange I believed you needed them. 'Cause you can't see that me and my husband are FINALLY spending some quality time together after MONTHS of work,where we couldn't see or talk to each other...and DEAL with YOUR SHIT because you can't keep it in your pants and cheated on your wife AGAIN .

Zeus:Wait,you actually talk to each other...

Y/N:....*looks at Poseidon * Dear husband can I....

Poseidon:I allow you to kick his stupid ass.

Y/N:*smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek* Thank you....* snaps their fingers and lot of arrows of light appear*

Zeus:*pales* Umh...

Y/N:I'll give you 5 seconds *scary smile* Dear brother in law~

Zeus:*runs*

Y/N*goes after him*

Poseidon:*watches Y/N trying to kill his brother* "Y/N truly is charming when they're angry .....ahhh now I'm aroused too bad they are busy..." *reads his book again*

[marvel-and-dc-geek]

Credits to Shuumatsu No comedians on FB

A GODDESS ? WE GOT A GODESS ???

HECK YEAH

Also funny af at Indra saw Shiva nearly get beaten to death and decided he also wanted to go for it

[roguerambles]

A Contest of Kings

Record of Ragnarök - Male Reader x Poseidon x Hades x Zeus

 Warnings - 18+ Only. Adult Situations. 

Alright, full disclosure, @icy-spicy​’s “A Broken Bet” inspired this, so credit/blame goes to her! (pssst btw go check her out, she’s awesome)

I imagine this is the same Reader from the “Son of Aphrodite” fics, just before Ragnarök. Enjoy some Big Three shenanigans!

-

The celebration on Olympus had lulled somewhat, and Hades found himself enjoying a surprising moment of companionship with his brothers.

Tucked away in a corner of the gardens, the three brothers shared glasses of ambrosia, the sounds of laughter and music perfuming the air, all three watching the crowd dance and mingle. It was rare for Hades to have both Poseidon and Zeus together with him like this, and he found himself smiling fondly as Zeus slung his arm around Poseidon’s shoulders, enthusiastically talking about “the time he bested Father in combat once and for all” as though Poseidon had not been witness to the event.

“What are you three doing over here?”

Hades glanced up to see you approach, breathless and grinning, a faint sheen on sweat coating your skin from dancing. Your golden sheer silks clung to your hips and arms, highlighting the curves of your body. Aphrodite’s beauty shone through all of her offspring, and you were certainly no exception.

“Enjoying a moment of respite.” Hades raised his glass in your direction, arching a brow as Zeus detangled himself from Poseidon, leaning back in his seat with a grin. He patted his muscular thigh invitingly, and his smile grew wider as you slid into his lap, your arm coiling around his broad shoulders, fingers toying with his golden hair.

Poseidon rolled his eyes slightly, while Hades shook his head, and Zeus shamelessly stared at your pectorals right under his nose.

“You make yourself sound so old.” You huffed, leaning against Zeus’s shoulder, shifting your weight slightly – your thigh flashed in Hades’s vision, the loose, semi-transparent fabric of your toga riding up, exposing toned muscle, an entirely accidental move on your part, Hades was sure. “Zeus tells stories, you know. You three had some fun in between all the Titan fighting.”

Hades shot Zeus a look, and his brother only grinned in response, his palm sliding slowly over your hip. He cleared his throat sharply, nodding his head across the crowd, where Hera chatted with Aphrodite and Hestia.

Zeus pouted and reluctantly removed his hand.

Poseidon rolled his eyes again.

You eventually returned to the celebration, fingertips trailing across Zeus’s shoulders, your lips brushing Hades’s cheek. You even managed to coax the ghost of smile from Poseidon’s perpetually cold expression as you walked away, your smirk playful. The three brothers quietly watched as you melted into the crowd, and Hades forced his gaze back to Zeus, whose own eyes were watching your rear. “Do not even think about it, brother.”

“Too late.”

Poseidon scoffed under his breath, and Hades huffed, shaking his head with bemusement. “You’re incorrigible.” He shoved Zeus lightly with his foot. “I bet you could not go a single month without throwing yourself at some pretty thing.”

Zeus turned to him, looking vaguely indignant at the implication he couldn’t do something. “I could so!” He huffed, his eyes flickering back to the crowd. “Although why I’d deny myself the pleasure, I cannot imagine.” He flashed a wide, wicked grin at Hades. “Come now, brother. Tell me those long, lonely winter months without Persephone wouldn’t pass a little easier with him warming your bed?”

Hades lowered his glass to the table, his expression smooth. “Do you really wish to pull at that thread, brother dear?”

Zeus had the decency to at least look a little sheepish. Poseidon said nothing, seemingly content to ignore his brothers. Hades tapped his fingers against the table, studying Zeus with a thoughtful eye, before sharply shaking his head. “Never mind. You couldn’t do it.”

Hades might have imagined it, but he swore Zeus almost looked stung by his stated lack of faith in him. The King of Olympus sat upright, his expression growing uncharacteristically serious. “A month? Very well.” He held out his hand for Hades, who stared at it in surprise. “I accept your challenge.” He smiled smugly, practically brimming with confidence. “I trust you agree to the same terms?”

Hades laughed, still surprised. “I wasn’t trying to bed him in the first place, Zeus.”

Zeus smirked at him, a gleam in his eyes. “Well, well, look who is backing down….” He turned to Poseidon, his grin growing wider. “I don’t think our big brother thinks he could resist the offer if it was made.”

“I have no part of this.” Poseidon replied dryly, looking completely disinterested.

Zeus laughed and punched Poseidon’s arm, ignoring the flash of indignation on his brother’s face when he did so. “I doubt you could either.” Zeus waved his hand dismissively. “All of your talk of being a “perfect being” your still as weak for pleasures of the flesh as the rest of us.”

Hades felt his brows shoot upwards, watching as Poseidon’s face twisted into an angry sneer. “Brother—”

“Do not mistake me for you.” He snarled, turning his fierce glare on Zeus, who simply smiled serenely in response. “I am perfection.”

“Then you’ll agree as well.” He held out his hand in front of him, eyeing his brothers with a smug grin. “One month.”

“Fine.” Poseidon spat, before forcing his expression back into his usual stoic mask. Hades shook his head, sighing at his brothers antics, before placing his hand on top of theirs.

“Very well. One month.”

The three Kings nodded and soon fell back into their previous atmosphere with each other, unaware of your curious gaze watching them from a distance…

 -

“Can’t do it, he says….” Zeus grumbled to himself as he walked down the shadowed halls of Olympus, the dwindling sounds of the party at his back. “Well, look at me, Hades! Going to bed early. On my own. Take that!”

There were a bevy of lovely, voluptuous nymphs literally calling his name in the fountains outside, but Zeus, King of the Gods, nobly resisted temptation. A veritable harem of handsome satyrs in the gardens, beckoning him to follow with hooded eyes and alluring voices but Zeus did not give in.

“I’ve heard mortals say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.”

Zeus halted in place, his head swivelling around. You emerged from behind a column, draped in gold and silk, and Zeus swallowed thickly.

“I…am not mortal.” Zeus cleared his throat, forcing his back straight, trying to ignore how good you looked bathed in torchlight, the tempting flashes of skin between your silks as you moved towards him.

“Indeed you are not.” You purred, reaching up to trail your fingertips along his chest, humming deep in your chest as you openly admired his strong, muscular body.

Fates, he wanted to fuck you so badly—

Zeus opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was fled his mind as you stepped back, letting your silks spill down your arms and hips, leaving you gloriously naked under his gaze.

“What are you waiting for?” You asked, wearing nothing but your smile and desire on your face.

Zeus had absolutely no idea.

He darted after you as you raced down the hall, your laughter in his ears, all thoughts of the challenge or proving himself to Hades washed from his mind as he sank into the delicious warmth of your embrace.

 -

“Good morning, Poseidon.”

The King of the Seas could not guess how long you had been perched at the edge of his dining room table. Pearls draped across your neck and collarbones, falling down your chest and abdomen. They were all that covered you, and if Poseidon had been a lesser being, his gaze might have lingered.

He walked past you, heading for his usual spot at the other end of the table, awaiting for breakfast to be brought by his servants. You sighed dramatically, rolling your head back to follow him with your eyes. “Rude.”

Poseidon said nothing, sitting down and waiting patiently. You lay back on the table, naked body on shameless display, and Poseidon wasn’t staring.

He wasn’t.

“Perhaps it is for the best…” You mused loudly, playing with a string of pearls. “I would not want to overwhelm you. You would struggle keep up, I fear…”

Poseidon felt his eye twitch at the implication he was less than perfect at anything. You were goading him; it was transparently obvious. He would not fall for such a petty ploy—

“You are not as…experienced as your brothers, after all.”

The servants entered with breakfast. Poseidon shoved his chair back with a loud screech, and began marching down the length of the table towards you, a storm in his eyes. “Out.” He bellowed at his servants, who could not have fled any faster.

You smiled triumphantly as Poseidon seized your ankle, yanking you roughly across the table towards him, sliding between your thighs with purpose. “Oh, are you sure? I wouldn’t want—”

“They will hear you screaming on Olympus.” Poseidon growled, shoving you down against the table and climbing on, crashing down upon you with the force of a tidal wave.

 -

Hades slammed you on top of his desk, yanking the loose fabric of your pants down your hips.

You moaned and arched in his grasp, tilting your head to give his hot, eager mouth better access to your throat. The sight made some primal roar deep in his belly and he tore impatiently at your undergarments, as your fingers tugged open his shirt and raked greedily down his long, toned chest.

“I should visit the Underworld more often.” You gasped, swinging your thigh across his hip as Hades rolled you onto the desk, sliding on top of you with a low groan. Ever since Zeus’s comments in the gardens he’d been unable to get you out of his mind, the idea of you in his bed, writhing with passion in his arms, bouncing with wanton lust on his cock—

“Perhaps you should.” Hades murmured against your skin, before his lips seized yours. He would fuck you on his desk, then move the bedchamber.

You were more than happy to go along with his wishes.

 -

“Well.” Hades said after a few moments of silence. “I must admit, I am a little disappointed in us all.”

“I’m not.” Zeus said cheerfully, clapping Hades’s shoulder. “His ass was worth it.”

Poseidon said nothing, but Hades noticed he was avoiding his and Zeus’s eyes more than usual. A little embarrassment, perhaps?

You were unbearably smug, pacing the length of your bedchamber with a delighted grin. “Three Kings, all in a row…” You sighed dreamily, winking playfully at Hades. “Do not worry, you were all marvellous.”

Zeus practically preened, while Poseidon scoffed, as if to say well obviously. Hades simply sighed and shook his head. “I suppose in the end, you won our ill-advised gamble.”

“I suppose I did.” You smiled wickedly. “And what a reward it was. Well, rewards.”

Hades chuckled, while Zeus leaned over you, grinning playfully. “So….?” His hand snaked around your waist. “Who was best?”

Hades closed his eyes. “Zeus…”

“What? I’m just curious what he has to say.” He nudged you with a coy smirk. “You can say me, they won’t mind.”

Poseidon frowned at his brother, while you tapped your fingers against your cheek, eyeing them thoughtfully. “Oh…you know, I can’t decide.”

“What?” Poseidon spoke suddenly, looking insulted. Which made the room feel particularly unsafe.

“Oh, don’t pout, Poseidon, I am the most experienced…hey!” Zeus turned to you with a scandalised look, eyebrows flying into his hairline. “What are you saying? I did the thing, with the lightning—”

“Which was delicious, I assure you.” You patted Zeus’s cheek affectionately, looking suspiciously like a cat with cream. Hades watched you, feeling heat pool low in his belly. “But you all had…strong points. Is that not enough.”

“Absolutely not.” Poseidon waved his hand – the door suddenly slammed shut behind him, and he advanced on you with fire in his eyes. “Get on the bed.”

“Yeah!” Zeus slipped the strap of his toga off his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground, leaving him shamelessly naked as he started pulling at your clothes. “We’re not leaving until you pick one!”

You looked extremely pleased by this turn of events, and Hades was fairly certain he and his brothers had played directly into your clever hands. He moved between Zeus and Poseidon as though to stop them – instead, his hand grasped your shoulder, and he shoved you backwards onto the bed.

“I think its time he learned a little respect.” Hades slipped his shirt off, keeping his eyes directly on yours, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. “Don’t you agree, brothers?”

You crawled back up the bed, excitement flaring in your eyes. “I am eager to learn.”

[incorrect-record-of-ragnarok]

Odin: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Hades: Have everyone stand. Zeus: Bring three more chairs! Adamas: The most important ones can sit down. Poseidon: Kill three.

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#172 Such a lil gentleman-

Hermes*Feels his coat tail being tugged and sees...you one of the humans Brunhilde adores*

Y/n: I hope this isn’t too forward but...*reveals a tiny frog in his cupped hands* -I caught you a frog

Frog*Squeaks cutely at him*

Hermes:...

In Spongebob's voice" A phew moments later"

Hermes*Smilliing looking at Zeus holding his resignation...the tiny frog with a bow tie and top hat resting on his shoulder* -and that’s when I knew I would be marrying that human, Apologies sir but I'm switching to the humans~

[adcmans]

HADES HEADCANONS

Hades would give his S/O flowers to show how much he loves them, he usually pick ones with meanings or your favorites so he can see you happy. He also pick some of his favorites so when he sees that your busy he would put a flower on your hair admiring you.

[justvir]

You can't tell me that Hades and Choso wouldn't have the best big brother interaction, like:

[mizz-sea-nymph]

Zeus: I have come to conclusion that there is a traitor among us!

Brunhilde: *sweats*

Buddha: *crunches some chips as loud as possible*

Beelzebub: meeting over!

Heracles: *awkward donkey laugh*

Shiva: wtf kinda laugh is that

Heracles: sorry I panicked-

Zeus: LET ME FINISH PEOPLE!!!

*silence*

Zeus: there’s a traitor among us and his name is mental illness!

Brunhilde: thank god- meeting continues!

Buddha: oh wait u guys two?? Ayeee

Zeus: I’ve also learned there’s another kind of traitor here!

Odin gets up: meeting over!

Zeus: and it’s the stigma that comes with mental illness! So let’s get on with the damm meeting will we?

Odin sits back down: oh..yes yes of course

Beelzebub: I have trust issues with you people for good reasoning.

Buddha: nah we are so sneaky it’s crazyy! Also wow we really are fake bitches!

Brunhilde: shush buddha

Beelzebub: don’t talk about our mutinies buddha!

Odin: shut up Buddha.

Buddha: >:(

[tinyy-tea-cup]

Zeus didn’t get his fufu 😔

[monochrome-cropcrown]

Me whenever Twitter brings up the animation for Zeus vs Adam