#snuffles; assistant of time

[shadows-colours-critical]

Any more art?

Not any new pictures, but I do have older pieces, if they count by any chance.

[koiiiji]

unexpected comfort

author’s note ; continuing to secret friends series. and i did this rarity & patrick bateman edit myself so u know the rules.

summary ; suddenly Gitae can be soft. just a little.

Gitae Kim had arrived in korea with a purpose. as the head of a notorious mafia organization, he was no stranger to the underworld, and now he was here to assist Goo Kim with some of his more clandestine operations. cold and calculating, Gitae had little patience for distractions, especially when it came to romance or anything resembling affection.

Goo and his secret friends gang left for another business, Gitae settled into the office, intending to catch up on some paperwork. as he sorted through papers on the table, a faint thud echoed from the other room. instinctively, he moved toward the sound, only to find you sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

“hey, brat,” he muttered, nudging you with his foot. you didn’t stir.

rolling his eyes, Gitae decided to take matters into his own hands. he bent down, scooping you up with surprising gentleness, and placed you on the couch. however, as he did, you instinctively leaned into his hand, your head falling against his shoulder. he froze, a mixture of irritation and something softer swirling within him.

“seriously?” he grumbled, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through him. he felt an unusual pang of reluctance to disturb you, akin to the feeling one gets when a cat curls up in their lap. he tried to ignore the warmth spreading through him as you snuggled closer.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

the door swung open, and Goo, Seongeun, Taejin, and Taesung walked in, their raucous laughter abruptly halting as they took in the sight before them: the golden light filled the room and Gitae sitting on the black, leather couch, looking through some papers in his hands, while you nestled against him, drooling on his shoulder.

Goo’s eyes lit up with mischief. “oh man, this is priceless,” he whispered, pulling out his phone. without distracting from the papers, Gitae’s expression hardened instantly. “don’t even think about it or i’ll cut off your fingers and make you regret your life decisions,” he warned, his voice low and dangerously calm. gang burst into laughter, clearly enjoying the scene. Taejin leaned against the wall, shaking his head, while Seongeun couldn’t stop grinning. Taesung simply looked amused, habitually putting his hand in his pants

Goo blinked, taken aback. “whoa, chill, chill! i was just — ”

“can you just not!” Gitae snapped, his eyes narrowing. stepping closer, peering at you with concern Goo asked “did she faint?”

“seems like it,” Gitae replied, glancing down at you. “she’s just a brat, though. didn’t even bother to warn anybody.”

the tension in the air was thick, but Goo couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his face. “poor thing, don’t you think so, huh?”

Gitae’s expression shifted slightly as he glanced down at you, still drooling on his shoulder. but now it was the lesser of two evils. he just found a gold. “actually,” he said, his tone shifting to something more serious, “i plan on taking her back to mexico with me.”

Goo’s eyes widened in shock. “what? no! you can’t just steal my secret friends!” Gitae grinned looking down at papers before him. finding information about his business in mexico, finding out who is who and what each person is doing, a lot of personal information, and all this you dug up in a couple of hours with computer fraud? impressive. and he also caught you fainting in time, it seems like you were preparing a report for that cunning fox Goo.

“brat is too good at digging up information, and i need smart people in my organization,” Gitae replied, crossing his arms with an air of finality. Goo wanted to object again, but then, with a soft moan and a snuffling sound, you opened your eyes slightly, slowly coming to your senses. and while you were still processing what was happening, you glanced between Goo’s frantic expression and Gitae’s cold demeanor, you didn’t understand a thing.

as you fully awoke, confusion clouded your mind. “what’s going on?” you asked, looking up at Goo.

he sighed dramatically, “someone here wants to steal my secret friends, to spy on his own businesses!! can you imagine?!!”

you froze, as you understand that it was only you in this room, smart enough to fit that description. your eyes darting back to Gitae, and your heart sank. the reality of having fallen asleep on him, drooling, hit you hard. fear washed over you as you realized how vulnerable you had been. Gitae’s gaze was as icy as ever, his earlier devilish smile now replaced with that signature cold stare. he seemed to take pleasure in your discomfort, and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

as you finally stirred fully awake, blinking in confusion, you suddenly realized your head was still resting on Gitae’s shoulder. eventually, your eyes fluttered open wider, and you blinked in confusion, taking a moment to double check your surroundings. when you realized where you were — and who you were with — you quickly sat up, wiping drool off your chin, a deep blush creeping onto your cheeks. panic set in, and you quickly sat up, brushing your hair from your face. “oh no! i’m so sorry!” embarrassment flooding your voice.

Gitae shrugged, trying to sound annoyed. “it’s fine, brat. just… don’t make it a habit.”

“and next time, try to sleep at a reasonable hour,” he said coldly, his voice echoing in the room. “you’re not invincible.”

he shot you a glare, but there was no real malice behind it. “brat,” he muttered, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he turned back to his paperwork.

[mrsjellymunson]

Hurt Me

Written for the @steddiemicrofic November prompt ‘guard’ | WC target: 532 | Rating: M | CW: hurt/no comfort, angst, mentions of sex, feelings denial, self-sabotage | Tags: rockstar!Eddie Munson, personal assistant!Steve Harrington, top!Eddie Munson, bottom!Steve Harrington, shameless use of pop song lyrics 

He’s done the right thing. He’s sure of it. If Eddie’s learned anything from a life on the road it’s that he needs to guard his heart. There’s no room for messy things like feelings, emotions, anything even resembling love.

And that’s definitely not what they had. Absolutely not. Not by a long way. Whatever he and Steve had was strictly business. 

Until it wasn’t… 

So what if they happened to cross paths when Eddie swung by Hawkins on a break from touring, and he realized Steve wasn't that douche from High School anymore, he was actually a good dude. 

Or that Steve ended up being the best Personal Assistant Eddie’d ever had. Or that he became the best friend Eddie’d ever had.

And so what if they started hooking up after shows, they were just purging adrenalin, right? And then between shows, then after meetings, then before meetings…

So what if Steve sometimes stays the night - it’s just easier to get to whatever thing they have the next day. Or that they shared a hotel room that time - they had a lot of prep to do and it just made sense to stay close so they could work. 

So what if Eddie’s disappointed every time they get back to the big city where they have their own places. Where Eddie can get Steve on the phone anytime, sure, but where that’s not enough anymore.

So what if, when he slides into Steve’s tight warmth and he whimpers into the pillows, it stirs something inside Eddie. Or, when he gazes into those molten caramel eyes, he searches for flecks of forest green that he’s convinced nobody else has ever seen. So what if, for years, it’s the closest thing he’s felt to being anything resembling… complete.

So what if Steve’s the first person he’d consider letting top him since that awful encounter he had years ago. So what if he wants to ask him if he would.

None of it means anything. It doesn’t.

Just like it doesn’t mean anything now, when Eddie’s dressing for yet another interview and going through his dresser looking for the perfect ripped black tee out of the hundreds he now owns. Absolutely not looking for the one Steve picked out for him that time for a photoshoot, telling him it was the hottest he’d ever looked.

He’s definitely not overthinking how he broke things off, bitchily yelling at Steve to go back to Indiana because,

“The rockstar life doesn’t suit you, dude.”

Or how Steve retorted,

“Have you ever considered that by pushing people away, the only thing you’re guarding yourself from is happiness?”

So what if Eddie sits and weeps, amongst piles of black leather and satin and chains, and tells himself,

“So what? I'm still a rock star, I've got my rock moves. And I don't need Steve. And guess what? I'm having more fun now that we're done.”

He snuffles and wipes snot from his nose with the heel of his hand.

“I'm gonna show him tonight. I'm alright, I'm just fine. And he’s a tool. And I don't want Steve tonight.”

He’s done the right thing. He’s sure of it…

Thanks so much for reading! There’s more Steddie minifics on my masterlist, if you’re interested (and I promise the majority are happier than this one 😆)

A/N2: This gets added to the list entitled Times I Wrote Something & Made Myself Cry. I’m so sorry… Also, what is this obsession I apparently have with SteddiexP!nk lyrics? IDK, if you work it out LMK 😆 Also, props to @morningberriesao3 for the idea of an ‘awful encounter’, I hope this doesn’t count as plagiarism but if it does LMK and I’ll totally change it! 🙏

Tagging my usuals, ILY (list is open) @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @guiltyasquinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @80s-addict @abellmunsonmovie @definitionwanderlust @sheneedsrocknroll92 @munson-blurbs @wonderlanddreamer @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @kurdtbean @mediocredreams @in2tswft @micheledawn1975 @littlebebebunny @12thatsanumber @alastorssimp @the-baby-angel @eddie-is-a-god @wolfqueenxxx @losingmygrasponreality @richter-raccoon @1deverland

[tedwardremus]

Works in Progress

Snuffles & Son - Sirius raises Harry and opens a shop that specializes in repairing cursed artifacts and places protection wards on family heirlooms. One day, an Unspeakable from the Department of Mysteries walks in with a cursed artifact from his cousin's confiscated Gringotts vault, requesting Sirius's assistance.

Be Not Afraid Of Greatness - A collection of Frank Longbottom stories

Without A Trace - Babies don't just disappear without a trace

HP Instagram AU - Instagram feeds from various Harry Potter characters. Feel free to request a character or couple.

completed fics and one-shots under the cut

Marauder's Era/Jily

It's here. Now’s the time. I tell myself I’ll be fine -

It was a normal feeling to be nervous, a rite of passage for any mother or father. After all, eleven years old wasn’t that mature—children at that age were still so small, so dependent on their parents for guidance, comfort, and care.

Hope Lupin hugs her son goodbye before he boards the Hogwarts Express.

Unresolved Questions Of Wizard Cosmology - Ten-year-old Sirius and his father take a trip to the British Magical Observatory.

Interesting House Guests - (Or The time Sirius invited the lads to spend the week at Grimmauld Place)

Those Whom The Gods Love Die Young - Once upon a time, four boys entered an ancient magical forest in Scotland. They loved life, the forest, and each other very much. Together, they become beasts of the woods and grow to understand the forest more than anyone else who had entered the magical realm before them.

Tree Cutting - Every Gryffindor in the tower heard Walburga's howler calling Sirius a filthy traitor. Lily knows what it feels like when someone you love calls you nasty names.

Tipping The Scales - James helps Lily get back something that is hers from the Slytherin dorms.

Career Advice with James F. Potter - Lily Evans is stressed about her career advice meeting but luckily James Potter is willing to share his expert advice on the matter.

A Decent Bloke - In the Hogwarts library, James Potter eats an apple while Lily Evans works on a History of Magic essay.

Perspective - Lily asks James about the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Lily also learns how soft James Potter's hands are.

Light Is The Most Glorious - James takes Lily on a journey around Hogwarts the night before the Christmas holidays.

Does Permanent Mean Forever? - It is James Potter's seventeenth birthday, and to commemorate the occasion, he proposes to the gang that they go out and get tattooed.

Your Friend, James - It is the summer before their 7th year, and Lily and James spend the entire holiday writing letters to each other as their relationship slowly changes from friends to something more.

Rumor Has It  - Severus doesn't believe the rumors that Lily finally agreed to go out with James Potter.

A Happy Thought - The 7th-year Defense Against the Dark Arts Class learns the Patronus Charm. James is shocked to learn what Lily's Patronus is.

Awful Euphemisms - Lily and James exchange laughs while discovering a new level of intimacy.

A Promise - James sees no problem that they are only seventeen and have yet to meet each other's parents.

Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You - Lily Evans is ready to spend New Year's Eve alone in her bedroom until James Potter flies in and offers her a midnight ride.

An Academic Study of Dungeon Dwellers - It was common knowledge that when the weather turned warm, students were impossible to teach and used their precious free time to soak up the sun and enjoy the outdoors. Unless of course, you were the Girlfriendus Potterus, also known by her common name, Lily Evans, who—despite the migration of most students to the sun-drenched grounds—had yet to leave the castle's confines.

A Miraculous Christmas Moment - A married Lily and James Potter wander around a London Christmas Market. James misses celebrating Christmas in Godric's Hollow.

Comfort and Joy - Baby Harry helps James decorate the Christmas Tree.

Querencia - The time Lily, James, and Harry spent as a family in their little house in the West Country was far too brief, but it was overfilled with love, laughter, and, above all, life.

30 Times James Potter Thought He Was Going To Die and 1 Time He Did  - 31 microfics for Jilytober

Jily Challenge Fics

Three Lemons and a Dragon - Once upon a time there lived a Prince named James who had to save his father's Kingdom by getting married. One day an older woman gifts him three lemons that will lead him to his true love.

Erasmus Lovegoods’s Guide to Brewing Love Potions -At the start of every school year, the Ministry of Magic distributed leaflets to all students taking potions classes regarding the regulations and legality of highly controlled potions.

I'll Meet You After Dark - An Alternate Universe where the Statute of Secrecy hasn't been enacted yet. Tensions between the magical and non-magical communities are high.

My dog said I can't go out with you - Lily had been waiting patiently for James to ask her out for the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term. Sirius insists she turn James down so Sirius can hang out with her instead. (it's all part of Sirius' greater matchmaking plan)

Tranquil Solitude (Until You Came Along) - All Lily wanted to do was take a nice, quiet swim on a hot day. And then James Potter showed up. And Lily had already removed her clothes for the private swim.

Midnight Train To London - An escaped yeti causes a magical snow storm that leaves the Hogwarts Express stranded without any power. Head students Lily and James take charge and bring a little holiday cheer to the students trapped on the train.

Summer Fling Don't Mean A Thing - Lily and James meet at a potions camp over the summer and have a fling. James promises to write to her when the summer is over, but he never does. Then Hogwarts hosts an academic competition inviting all the top students from around the country to attend, including students from Cockersand Coven Academy, the school that Lily happens to attend.

This Town Is Fake But You're The Real Thing - Teen radio star Lily Evans works for a show on the wizarding wireless network called, The Marauders. The teen soap drama stars James Potter as an arrogant school jock and centers on the secret adventures of his friends in the forbidden forest as illegal animagus and a werewolf. The show's antagonist, played by Severus Snape, left after a scandal, and now Lily has a romantic storyline with James in the final season of the show. Basically, her life is a disaster.

Field Study - Lily and James get left behind on a deserted island after A Care of Magical Creatures field trip.

These things that are pleasin' you can hurt you somehow  - Lily is stuck in potions for a classroom disturbance she didn't cause.

In walks James Potter who she had been avoiding all week.

Other Jily/Maruader Era Fics

Rage Against The Dying Of The Light - In a universe where James and Lily Potter survive Voldemort's attack on Halloween night. Most of wizarding society is enjoying newfound peace after a decade of war, except the young heroes who fought the war learn you can never really go back to the way things were before

Cuckoo (or the unwanted interloper baby in the nest)  - Sirius rescues Regulus from the cave and drops him off at the Potters house so he can clean up his brother's mess. Regulus has an awful time.... until he doesn't.

Katabasis - Snape gets hurt when he goes into the Shrieking Shack on the full moon. It is time for Remus to face the consequences.

Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter - Sirius is an Olympic athlete competing in the wizard pentathlon, James is a quidditch player, and Lily is a sports reporter. The three of them meet at the Olympic Village. And well, you know what happens at the Olympic Village...

Finding Your Magical Roots  - The Black Family welcomes the reality show Finding Your Magical Roots into their home to film a special episode.

101 Padfoots - An accident in potions class results in 101 Padfoots running around Hogwarts while Lily and James work together to round them all up

First War Era

She Faced Danger, But Never Feared It  - Dorcas Meadowes is a healer at St. Mungo's who specializes in emergency healing. A grandmother in her 60s who believes in caring for all members of the magical community. She is recruited by Albus Dumbledore to join the Order after she publishes and article in the Daily Prophet arguing that the rise of dark magic is a public health crisis.

When Death Would Not Come - Moody and the others will be here soon. Just endure for one more minute. Thirty more seconds. Five more seconds. As long as Neville was okay, she could endure anything.

Lighting Era

Goodbyes and Surprise Greetings - Ginny's brothers have abandoned her at the Burrow while they go to school or leave the country. But then she gets a surprise visitor.

The Past is a Bucket of Ash - Over burnt photographs, Harry had a late-night chat with Sirius about his family history.

The Parting Glass - The last full moon, Moony and Padfoot spend together.

Retrouvaille (or the happiness of meeting someone you love after a long time) - The times Sirius and Harry reunited and the times they were forced to say goodbye.

Attinge - Harry shaves his head after the battle. Only Ginny understands why.

Secret Garden - Neville plants Hannah a secret garden on the roof of the Leaky Cauldron. She wants to show him how grateful she is for the gift.

Burnt Cookies - Hannah keeps burning cookies as she gets ready for the Leaky Cauldron's Halloween party.

Luckily, Neville is there to comfort her.

Lightening Era - AU

1994 Quidditch World Cup  - Harry wants only one thing for his fourteenth birthday: tickets to see the final match of the Quidditch World Cup. Well, two things if you count his sudden desire to kiss Ginny Weasley.

Padfoot in Privet Drive - Sirius Black follows Harry to Privet Drive after the Triwizard Tournament.

A Time To Mourn - Sirius Black, recently declared innocent by the Ministry of Magic, visits his godson on Halloween.

Next Gen

Feels Like Home To Me - Snippets inside the Potter family home

We're Going On A Hippogriff Hunt -Two young boys go on a hippogriff hunt in the woods behind their house. Teddy hopes James doesn't figure out he knows nothing about hippogriffs.

Werewolf Registration Act of 1947 - A history of magic essay helps Teddy understand his deceased father a littler bit better.

Tethered - Teddy and Vic discover the isolated and deserted Hogwarts boathouse to be the perfect place to be alone together.

Am I To Suffer This Constant Stream of Interruption? - Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley go on their first official date. James Sirius Potter is now a third-year at Hogwarts and is able to visit the village.

A Wonderful Idea - Vic planned a very grown-up date for her and Teddy. Too bad Teddy can't ice skate.

It's All About The Timing - James Sirius Potter has wanted to ask Ellie Longbottom out since he was twelve years old. Unfortunately, he can never get the timing right.

Know Your Roots - Albus Potter is unsure if helping Uncle Neville repot moonwort plants is part of detention or a lame attempt at godfather and godson bonding. It might be both.

Acting Professional - Teddy wants to see Victoire's new office while at a work event.

Ginny's Very Serious Investigation - When Luna casually mentions in the postscript of her latest letter that she got married, Ginny is not having it. Who the hell is Rolf Scamander, and why is Luna marrying him without any prior warning?

[midnightsun-if]

Hello! What would the ROs reaction be to MC falling asleep on their shoulder?

Koda: At the feeling of the weight settling on his arm, his first instinct is to jerk— something that causes an apologetic wince to flash across his face once he realizes it had been your sleeping head. “Sorry.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, offering you a small grin. “Didn’t know you were so tired. Want me to carry you to bed?”

Scarlett: You’re startled awake by the weightless feeling one only gets when falling— eyes snapping open, your brace for an immediate impact, only to find a soft leather cushion greeting you. With a furrowed brow, you straighten back into a seated position, finally taking note of the other person in the room. “The next time you’re tired do just head to bed.” Scarlett crosses her ankles, gaze back on the book she had been reading only a moment ago beside you. “I did not sign up to be a stand-in for it.”

Cyrus/Cyra: They startle away from you instantly, feeling guilty at the glazed-over look you give them in response— riddled with confusion, as you blink blearily to clear it. “Sorry,” they murmur, fidgeting before rocketing to their feet. “I just realized that I haven’t preened Apollo’s feathers yet and he gets quite ornery about it.” They tilt their head towards the door, hoping the steadily growing heat across their cheeks wasn’t a blush. Why the hell were they reacting like this? “I’ll be going now. Do get to bed soon, okay? It’ll be much more comfortable than the couch.”

Quinn: Sapphire eyes twinkle merrily at the feeling of your head hitting their shoulder, fond exasperation warm in their chest. “Didn’t I tell you it was late for how early you got up?” They don’t expect an answer, but the small snuffle you let loose brings an even brighter smile to their lips. “Now how am I supposed to wake you up? Isn’t there a saying about moving adorable creatures that fall asleep on you?”

Caden: A small squeak escapes them at the feeling, widened silver eyes looking down at your sleeping form. What on earth were they supposed to do? The professional course of action would be to wake you up, send you off to bed, and tidy up the common area afterward. But they had been sent here to assist in your comfort… Could they say they were doing so if they were to rip it away from you now? Letting you rest, at least for the moment, seemed like the best course of action. They’ll just have to figure out how to settle themself with you so near.

Sloane: You’re shoved off before your head even had a chance to make first contact— although it’s a lot lighter than you’ve seen them shove other people. Small progress, but progress nonetheless. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Brow furrowed, hazel eyes glinting sharply, Sloane didn’t look pissed, per se, but they definitely weren’t amused either. “I don’t remember agreeing to be your body pillow.” They scoff, turning their attention back to the TV. “You have an entire couch to rest on. Use it.”

Blake: They touch your face lightly, a path they’ve taken many times before. As this moment wasn’t one that’s all that new— not when it comes to you at least. Violet eyes, devoid of the typical outlandish mirth, soften completely. “What am I going to do with you, angel?” Blake shakes their head fondly. “Didn’t you know that it’s bad to fall asleep on a demon? We might steal your soul while you rest.” If you had been awake you’d have seen their eyebrows wiggle absurdly. “Of course,” they continue, musing over their thoughts. “They never say how the sleeping angel can steal the demons heart.”

Reginald/Regina: Their head tilts to the side, expression laden with a soft smile the moment they notice your slumbering form. “Didn’t know vampires could sleep,” they mutter, more to themself than anything. Filing the knowledge away to ask you later, they gently tuck the blanket over their lap around you too— sharing the soft warmth. “Didn’t know you were such a cuddle bug.” They rest their head on tops of yours. “Good to know for the future.”

[lizaluvsthis]

Fanfics that I made arts / animatics for!

The Tyrant and The Slave by Rabbitdemon-

How bad can I be?

Doodle Chapter 5 (with also shay's)

Drunken boys (a lil bit- warning?)

The Red String by donttellsilver/Caramella314-

Chapter art dedication.

Meme Swap by Shygirl4991

Animatic + Beeg n Eggdog

Beeg and Eggdog

The Next Step/Next Step with You by Shygirl4991-

Doodle - Chapter 2 [OLD]

(Reboot) Cover art

Prologue - Tango Scene

Split into Threes and Six splits for Fours by Shygirl4991 with B-r-i-n-g-x

HeadSpate Duo

The Dynamic Trio

Chapter 3 - Heart 3

Pan trio Casino Spy Rizz Outfits

Liz Doodles

Pan Trios wearing dresses

Book Three teaches 12 year old ‽ geometry

Why does spade blush alot?

For Book three simps

Producer 4 art request by Shay

Spade 3 x Del 4 - BLACKROM

Spade Three and Ringmaster Four - Explosive-Media duo!

Book and parent watching over the chaotics

Heart comforts Producer

Brewing Romance but its the Three splits

BR Spade three - Hair up

Art sketch for Six Splits

How Parent and Ringmaster react to Aster's appearance

Two Spades + Shay's reaction

Chapter 5 - SAVE HIM...

Ringmaster 4!

800 Reads Special Video!

Ask the Splits! Event 2/2

He's the Prince and I'm an Ogre by b-r-i-n-g-x

Sunset Scene

Night time break out

Arrow Scene

Donkey Mario

Prince Four gets carried by Three

The Wedding Scene

Shrek 2 - Human Three

The guy who tried to kill you by b-r-i-n-g-x

Animatic - 505

MistleToe Wars by Shygirl4991 (Christmas special 2023)

Mario took a picture

Trapped in a Bleaky Winter by Shygirl4991 with Lizaluvsthis

Cover art + fic

Snuffled in the blanket

Azure Potion by Shygirl4991

Cover art

Chapter 2 - Drinking the truth

Her beauty like the stars by Shygirl4991

Liz doodles - pan trios and the yuri

Do NOT hug SMG4 nor even Three

THOU SHALL NOT STEAL MY SMG4!

Giving cute horror plushies!

Brewing Romance but it's Yuri?

The chains of a fragile soul by Shygirl4991 with b-r-i-n-g-x

Tagster crimes

Crusty Wig...

You dont know anything... shhhh

Liz doodles - Aster and SMG3 (formal attire)

Bringx birthday - Aster

A Corsair FreeBooter by AnartisticalNiche

Comic 1/1 - meeting...

Four in a life and death situation

Liz doodles - doodle gift

Birthday art of the Gay Pirates!

PROJECTSV123 by b-r-i-n-g-x and Shay

Casino Outfits - Tango

Official Casino Outfit Designs

The Four collaborators!

Thank you for 100 followers!

Fem!SV3 and Fem!SV4

Sv3 staring at Sv4

Happy Pride Month Crew!

Happy late Pride Month Assistants!

A never-happy Ending... (What-if) 1/2

A never-happy Ending... (What-if) 2/2

"Sv4...?" (What-if)

The smell of Oranges...

Liz Doodles

Story one: Your Guardian (Illustrations)

[eiirisworkshop]

Between Takes

A Hazbin Hotel ficlet. 364 words. Can be read on Ao3.

__________

Angel wriggled uncomfortably against his bonds, took a deep breath, and let it out. He and Lupé were tied next to each other to the side of a faux-stone obelisk, hands above their heads, apple boxes stuck under their feet by the grip department, at least for shots that that wouldn’t show them. Or, like now, between shots. 

“So,” Lupé rolled his head boredly toward Angel, “I gather from Vinsta that you are fucking your bodyguard? Or was that staged?”

“Oh, it was staged,” Angel snickered. “But I am totally fucking him. Dating, actually.”

“No fuckin’ way,” Lupé chuckled. 

“Mhm!”

“How’s the sex?”

“Makes me come harder than you do.” Angel lifted a foot to lightly kick Lupé’s ankle. 

Lupé stuck his tongue out at him. Angel returned the same then they both leaned back against the fiberglass stone. They were quiet a moment, half-listening to the assistant camera arguing with a grip. 

“Kitty got the dick barbs?” Lupé asked. 

Angel grinned. “Yup.”

“Nice.” Lupé laughed appreciatively, but then his expression sobered and he lowered his voice.  “Big boss know?”

Angel shrugged best he could.  “Hasn’t said anything, hasn’t interacted with the post, but my schedule sure did spawn a bunch of fourteen-plus hour days all of a sudden.”

Lupé hummed.

Angel snuffled a couple times then manifested his third pair of arms to rub at his face.

“Angel!” the assistant director yelled from the side of the soundstage.  “Put those arms away!”

“My nose itches!” Angel yelled back, holding those hands up indignantly.  “And it’s not like we’re fuckin’ rollin’!  Jorge can go sit ,” he gestured to the mass of translucent teal tentacles sprawled across three folding chairs with an iced coffee and a magazine, “and, I mean, I get that the ropework takes too long to reset but that means we’re stuck up here!  Gimme a fuckin’ break.  I’ll put ‘em away when camera gets their shit together.”

The assistant director glowered but turned to attend to other matters.  Angel huffed.  Lupé grinned to tease, “You have a nose?”

“Loop,” Angel said with a thin veneer of patience, “I’ve snorted coke off your dick.  You know I have a nose.”

Lupé laughed.

[shadows-colours-critical]

What about the characters you like?

Nectarine, Riley, Snowdrop, Peafowl, Plum, Horace, Snuffles, Nadia, Butters, Archer, Octavia, Krystie, Peach, Lumi, Sean, and Azazel.

I like these characters more, and while most of them never get the spotlight, I love them.

Mostly Snowdrop, Peafowl, Horace, Azazel, Snuffles, Peach, Narla, Butters, Lumi, and Nectarine.

Snowdrop and Peafowl because they look like they'd sound like my dad and his girlfriend.

Horace and Nectarine because they remind me of myself to a degree.

Azazel, Butters, Narla, and Snuffles make me think of the friends I have now, and how much I cherish them.

Peach and Lumi reminds me of all of the animals I used to have when I was younger and the ones that I have now.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I want to echo the real star of disabled!verse being Cola request, and ask for a drabble with the real star of assistant!verse, Ace, please 💕

Alfred looked up when you let yourself in through the kitchen door and smiled a little, "Knocking off early or here on an Errand?" he asked.

"Errand," you answer, forcing yourself to smile. You've got a vicious headache and you desperately need the auras to stop. The black spots blooming in front of your vision were distracting and the pain was making you nauseous.

"Well," he said, wiping his hands, brow furrowing as he looked you over, "How can I-" And before he can ask what you've come for, you're out.

Crumpling to the floor in a heap, in a dead faint after wavering for a moment. "Oh dear," he said, moving to put you on your side and whistling softly to Call Ace out of his basket where he was patiently waiting for you to fuss over him. "Down," Alfred said, pointing to the floor behind your back.

Ace whined but lay down, snuffling against your neck and Alfred stroked his head, "Keep her still, huh?"

He stood carefully and grabbed the phone off the counter, waiting. He wasn't sure what had happened but. I you didn't come round on your own, he'd be calling an ambulance. And then Bruce to yell at him for not noticing you weren't well.

But when you stirred, whimpering and confused, Alfred exhales slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder, "Easy," he said, smiling a little when Ace pawed at you insistently. Worrying your coat with his paws. "Gave us a bit of a scare, Girlie," he scolded, "What on Earth-"

"Why am I on the floor?" you ask confused.

"You fainted," he asked, moving a small trash can closer when he noticed you turning a little green as he helped you to sit up. "Did you not eat breakfast or-"

"It's just a migraine," you manage, taking a deep breath, and stroking the massive furry head that flopped into your lap. "It's been a long time since I've passed out."

"How long?" Alfred asked, noting that you seemed to be speaking well and oriented to where you were- so not in any imminent danger. And that was good.

"College, I think," you answer, scritching the spot behind Ace's ear that made his right back foot twitch.

The butler nodded and got to his feet, holding out his hands, "Well, I'm afraid I must insist you sit with me for a while before attending to whatever Errand-"

"Just some files from his study- he said that you would know-"

"Ah yes," Alfred said, "I noticed he'd forgotten them this morning." The butler sighed and helped you to your feet. putting you in a kitchen chair. "I'll fetch those once you've had something to drink. Do you have medicine?"

"In my center console-"

And Alfred nodded, picking up your keys where they'd fallen from your hand and turning to fetch it. "Ace," he ordered, "keep an eye on her for me."

Ace whined, butting his head more insistently against your abdomen, wanting more attention and Alfred chuckled to himself. He didn't doubt that Ace was going to do exactly that.

[urlocalwhumper]

short little fluff to recover from the last one lol

rayan belongs to @sowhumpshaped, as always

rayan woke up to the sound of raindrops pelting against his window.

groggy, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced through the curtains. the dreary atmosphere made him want to roll over and go back to sleep, but he sighed and made himself get up anyways.

nana was curled up in her bed, snoozing away. he smiled and ruffled her hair. she snuffled and twitched a little, but ultimately stayed asleep. he didn't mind letting her rest a little longer, she usually got up and joined him once she smelled breakfast.

but... she didn't, this time. he'd fixed both of their plates and put all the ingredients and cookware away, and she still hadn't come out.

slightly concerned, he returned to his room, plates in hand. she was still asleep, drooling a little onto her stuffed frog's soft fur.

"nana," he said gently, setting the plates to the side and scratching behind her left ear, "it's time to wake up."

she blinked awake, her single eye looking blearily up at him. her brow pinched as she seemed to struggle to sit up. he frowned.

"not feeling good?" he asked. she nodded. "sick?" she shook her head.

it was then that it occurred to him, glancing at the pouring rain outside.

"oh." he said. "you get all achy when it rains, huh?"

she nodded miserably, nuzzling against his hand. he tutted under his breath.

"awh, i'm sorry." he said, continuing to gently pet her hair. "we can just have a lazy day, okay? once you're done with your breakfast, we can go hang out on the couch and watch movies. would you like that?"

she nodded again, a little smile gracing her lips.

she took a little longer than usual to finish her food, but he didn't mind at all. the two of them went out into the living room, and she got up on the couch with him, with a bit of assistance. she heaved an adorably content sigh as she got settled with her head in his lap, his hand idly trailing through her hair as he picked the first movie that seemed interesting to him off netflix.

he smiled as he caught her shortened tail wagging out of the corner of his eye. it had healed up nicely, and now she didn't have to worry about it hurting almost at all anymore.

as nana sort of half watched the movie and half dozed off, he was googling pet-safe pain medications on his phone. he may not have been able to prevent all her aches and pains, but he could stop them from being so disabling, and there was little he wouldn't do to make his precious companion a bit more comfortable.

[witchywriter18]

Sebastian and the Graphorn

This going to tie back to my "Beast loving Hufflepuff" headcannons. I haven't quite figured out links yet but you should be able to find it on my page fairly quickly. Also, this will be F!MC

Sebastian was reading a book on curses in the little reading spot MC had made for him. Said Hufflepuff was tending to her Graphorn at the moment. Sebastian had already assisted in caring for the smaller critters. He was still a little wary around that beast.

"Sebastian, I need you!" MC called from the upper part of the room.

Picking up on the distressed tone of voice, Sebastian snapped his book shut and raced up the steps.

"What happened?!" he asked, looking around in a panic.

"Up here, quick!" MC called from the balcony near the coastal vivarium.

"Would you mind informing me of what's going on?" Sebastian asked while he followed her through the opening.

He was met with the Graphorn his beloved was ever so fond of laying on the ground, panting.

"I'm not sure. I came in here to feed and brush him and saw him like this. I didn't think beasts could get ill in these vivariums," she explained while kneeling on the ground next to the beast, petting his head.

"Alright, what am I supposed to do?" Sebastian asked.

It may have sounded harsher then he ment it to. Sebastian of course didn't want to wish ill on the Graphorn but he still wasn't sure what in Merlin's name he was supposed to do.

"I just need you to stay with Snuffles and keep an eye on him while get some tonic or something from Hogsmead. I just hope it'll be enough to help him," she said, cooing over the panting beast.

While Sebastian was still a little nervous being around the creature, his lover's happiness was more important then his feeling of unease.

"Very well. I'll make sure 'Snuffles' is in good company until you return," he said.

"Thank you! I'll be back as soon as I can!"

She pressed a quick kiss on Sebastian's cheek before rushing off to the floo flame conveniently in the Room of Requirement.

Sebastian sighed while glancing down at the Graphorn his girlfriend had so lovingly named Snuffles.

"Think you'll be alright for a moment while I grab a book?" Sebastian asked.

The Graphorn let out a huff which Sebastian took as a 'yes'. Instead of treaking downstairs to his reading corner, he glanced over the bookcase right next to the vivarium. One title caught his eye.

"Haven't read this in a while," he muttered to himself, snatching it off the shelf and walking back inside the vivarium.

The Graphorn was still in the same place, still looking miserable. Sebastian couldn't help but feel bad for the poor thing. This mighty, powerful, majestic creature reduced to a sickly state for some unknown reason.

"Don't worry buddy, she'll return shortly, I'm sure. How about a story while we wait?" Sebastian offered, giving the beast a comforting scratch on its head.

The Graphorn let out a 'chuff' sound.

"I have a hunch you haven't heard the Tales of Beedle and Bard. I myself have but not for a while. Not since me and my sister were kids," he told the beast, a sad smile on his face.

After the incident with the relic and murdering his uncle, Anne had moved away somewhere else. He had only received a single letter saying she was safe but not where she was exactly. That was back at the end of 5th year. It was the middle of 6th year and he hadn't heard from Anne since.

If it hadn't been for MC staying with him over the summer, Sebastian wasn't sure if he would have made it.

So keeping her Graphorn company while she looked for a possible solution was the least he could do for his loyal Hufflepuff.

.

.

.

"I'm back!" MC's voice rang from the doorway.

Both Sebastian and the Graphorn looked up to see her trotting down the slight slope with a bag from the beast shop clutched in her hand.

It was honestly such a sweet sight that greeted her. Sebastian leaning against the Graphorn's side while Snuffles curled around him slightly.

"Good timing, we just finished reading about The Deathly Hallows," Sebastian said, closing the book.

"You were reading to him?" MC asked, sitting on the ground next to him to dig through the bag.

"Yeah. I remembered that whenever I felt poorly, my parents read to me. So I figured Snuffles here wouldn't mind a story," he explained, patting the Graphorn on the head. A purr resonated from the gentle giant.

"Well he seems to be looking a lot better then when I left. Still, better safe then sorry. Open wide buddy," she said, holding up the vial of tonic to the Graphorn's mouth.

The Graphorn shook his head and made grunts of disgust after the liquid went down its throat.

"Yeah, medicine isn't the best big guy, but it's better then you getting ill again," Sebastian said in sympathy.

"I'm glad to see you finally warming up to him. Does this mean you guys are best friends now?" MC asked while giving Snuffles some chin scratches.

"I suppose. Seems like he enjoys being read to. So I figured I can come read to him from time to time. Ya know, keep him company while you run about the Scottish Highlands," Sebastian said, bringing her close to him.

"Sometimes I bring him with me. I need to take him on walks every now and again. Charge down some REAL Dark Wizards instead of that toy dummy he plays with," MC giggled.

"Wait, he has a toy dark wizard to play with? Why didn't you tell me?! I would have loved to see that!" Sebastian exclaimed.

"Well, if Snuffles feels well enough to play, we could bring it out?" MC said, glancing at Snuffles whose tail started to wag.

"Something tells me he's well enough. Bring on the dummy!" Sebastian cheered, standing up.

The rest of the day was spent with Sebastian ridding Snuffles's back, charging at the Dark Wizard dummy while MC moved it around to make it more challenging.

Nothing like watching a boy and his new Graphorn friend play.

So this was slightly inspired by the time my pet rabbit seemed like he was a little sick so I sat and read to him. He wasn't actually sick, just being a stinker and decided to scare us a little. Honestly, I loved writing this like it's so cute 🥺

[tedwardremus]

Happy Birthday Sirius Black

Hogwarts Years

Interesting House Guests

(Or The time Sirius invited the lads to spend the week at Grimmauld Place)

Tree Cutting

Every Gryffindor in the tower heard Walburga's howler calling Sirius a filthy traitor.

Lily knows what it feels like when someone you love calls you nasty names.

My dog said I can't go out with you

Lily had been waiting patiently for James to ask her out for the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term. Sirius insists she turn James down so Sirius can hang out with her instead. (it's all part of Sirius' greater matchmaking plan)

Does Permanent Mean Forever?

It is James Potter's seventeenth birthday, and to commemorate the occasion, he proposes to the gang that they go out and get tattooed.

To Climb Steep Hills Requires A Slow Pace At First

Sirius Black feels the need take a walk but really he just needs someone to love him

Harry and Sirius Canon Compliant

The Past is a Bucket of Ash 

Over burnt photographs, Harry had a late-night chat with Sirius about his family history

Retrouvaille (or the happiness of meeting someone you love after a long time)

It was late, and the street was dark except for a faint glow from the street lamps. Even from this distance, Sirius saw the familiar untidy hair and felt a pang of recognition.

Harry.

The times Sirius and Harry reunited and the times they were forced to say goodbye.

Constant as the Northern Star 

In the summer of 1995 Sirius helps Harry with his astronomy homework.

Harry and Sirius AU

A Time To Mourn

Sirius Black, recently declared innocent by the Ministry of Magic, visits his godson on Halloween.

Snuffles & Son

Sirius raises Harry and opens a shop that specializes in repairing cursed artifacts and places protection wards on family heirlooms. One day, an Unspeakable from the Department of Mysteries walks in with a cursed artifact from his cousin's confiscated Gringotts vault, requesting Sirius's assistance.

Padfoot in Privet Drive 

Sirius Black follows Harry to Privet Drive after the Triwizard Tournament.

Miscellaneous

The Parting Glass 

The last full moon, Moony and Padfoot spend together.

Unresolved Questions Of Wizard Cosmology

Ten-year-old Sirius and his father take a trip to the British Magical Observatory.

Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter 

Sirius is an Olympic athlete competing in the wizard pentathlon, James is a quidditch player, and Lily is a sports reporter. The three of them meet at the Olympic Village. And well, you know what happens at the Olympic Village...

Finding Your Magical Roots 

The Black Family welcomes the reality show Finding Your Magical Roots into their home to film a special episode.

[originemesis]

@chasingrainbcws

@originemesis sent: Someone's grumpy. It's in the plump angle he's slumped into, leaned back in his chair so far it's amazing it hasn't snapped. A groan when asked what he needs, talons fanned over his eyes while the other flares out dramatically. "Worship me. Until I tell you to stop." - 4 moral support lutey

...Oh. Was it that kind of day ? She can't imagine what has him in such a mood this time, being that she'd already completed all of his paperwork for the day, and his dry-cleaning had been picked up. Maybe he was hungry ? Or simply tired ? Whatever the case, it isn't her job to ask --- just to obey... perhaps with the slightest smirk, and the subtlest roll of golden eyes as gloved digits dexterously dig into the muscles of his shoulders. She settles behind him, massaging the tension out with skilled hands and a voice just a hair less sharp than usual --- one only he would ever hear. ❝ Aaw... shitty day ? ...Fine. Your wings are glorious today, Sir, and your mask looks particularly badass. ❞

The outstretched arm remains dramatically so complete with a few anxious slaps at the air, golden sleeves swallowing talons to the tips until another swat slides them back again. Usually such a self-pitying state would amount to having far too much on one's plate to think of doing much else than this display of wallowing, but since his personal assistant of a lieutenant has just about everything that could vex him on a tight and productive schedule, there's no excuse other than the fact that because she's so busy with all his shit, he's starting to feel...neglected? Hence the request.

Peeking through the gaps between the talons fanned over his face when she approaches, he nearly falls all the way back and tips the chair with a squawk as she's suddenly knuckle deep in a deep tissue massage after scooting up between the horns weighing his head back. "Shit- not so fucking rough, Lute!! This isn't a fifty shades of fuck me up kinda shituation- ooh..." His feathers fluff suddenly with an adjustment and stiff shoulders slacken with a nerve properly hit. After a bit more sweet talk, he practically snuffles.

"...you really think so?"

[alabonshay]

Lady Evergreen Alabonsé IX

Aliases: Lady Evergreen, Evergreen (the) Young(er), Vee

Dendie half-matriarch, nonbinary female (she/her), young adult (20s)

Appearance:

Ape-like; average height but larger than human proportions; broad, compact, muscular beneath a portly figure.

Light blue-green skin. Dark green fur, soft with an emerald shine, covering the entire body except for her face, and soles of her hands/ feet. Mane is styled smooth and sleek, although naturally curly. Sideburns combed carefully, with two faded yellow fur patches that glitter in the light.

Short, heavy neck with a lump for her venom organ; round face and chin. Two, small, human-like ears hidden beneath her mane.

Bright green eyes with dark irises. Small and upturned nose. Wide mouth with sharp fangs, and two large, polished tusks protruding from a severe underbite. A few lower teeth are always visible and she cannot fully close her jaw.

Scent:

Floral perfume, camphor, aftershave, woodsmoke; natural/close-proximity only: the oils of a fur pelt, hint of ‘disinfectant’ from her toxins, and a whiff of body odor.

Voice: Speaks in Received Pronunciation, with a noticeable lisp because of her tusks. Her voice is an expressive light baritone, prone to being louder than average. When excited, her tone becomes slightly nasally.

Also makes ambient snuffles and snorts (i.e. in agreement, in thought), since her nose is short and stuffy.

Favorite Things:

Outdoor pursuits (hiking, travel, sports), autumn weather, the color yellow, social gatherings, chewing bones, delicious food and wines, song and theater, fish (as pets), warm baths, floral perfumes, tactile things (either soft or clicking).

Least Favorite Things:

Heights, brightness, summer heat, feeling trapped, being ignored, being bored, bland meals, uncomfortable clothing, being touched without initiating first, talking about her other family (not Alabonsés).

Personality and Manner:

Lady Evergreen is often energetic and cordial in public, a natural entertainer for her family’s guests. She moves at a fast pace and can usually attend to multiple happenings at once.

In the past, she has proven a selfish and shallow person. Though a beacon of popularity, Evergreen IX has many acquaintances and few friends. After her fiancee left her, she began to reflect upon and remedy her overbearing behavior. She may be condescending or naive at times, but less self-centered than before.

As a sheltered aristocrat, Evergreen IX is hesitant towards the unusual. She is polite but distrusting of most people. She has held a secret desire for hidden magic and a fantastic escape since childhood, but remains a skeptic to avoid disappointment. Proven that this does exist, however, she would be curious about alien people and places. As soon as she has gotten over the shock, she may as well introduce herself.

Other Info:

Illegitimate daughter of the Duchess Alabonsé and another Duchess.

Fell into the Lake Sanctimonious at the age of 10, which caused her partial metamorphosis. She shares some traits with matriarchs but she has few quills. Her venom is also weak and almost never produced.

Low vision. Cannot describe detail outside of contrast/blocks of color, unless extremely close up. Can move without assistance on her own estate grounds. Carries an extendable cane she can use to navigate crowded, or unfamiliar, places.

Light sensitive, wears various shades of dark blue glasses to protect her eyes from brightness.

[cyberrat]

79th Batch Of Fics: 15th Fill

Shane/Pigs – Part 2/2 – Does the Mayor's little scheme actually work?!

---

Shane is not talking but the sounds he’s making beneath his pig lover hit Farmer deeply. He sounds like he’s about to choke on his own damn tongue, gurgling and whining and wheezing with every labored breath he is taking.

She can only imagine how intensely exhausting it is to carry the weight of a grown male pig on one’s back. She definitely has to reassess her opinion of Shane. She hadn’t had much of one in the first place, given that he had been intensely standoffish that one time she tried to talk to him… but she certainly didn’t think him strong enough for something like – that.

Not that she had much thought about someone fucking her animals in the first place.

It’s so interesting to watch how the pig is not moving much while its cock keeps corkscrewing its way into Shane’s body. Farmer tries to figure out just how long the thing is but keeps coming up short of any type of answer.

All she knows is that it is wet and that Shane is enjoying himself immensely. His cock is just about visible between his belly and the mud, occasionally dipping into the warm sludge until it looks like he is actively fucking into it while he gets bred up.

His low sounds of pleasure are nearly overshadowed by the wet noises of the pig’s cock inside his guts. There’s the sound of it displacing the watery pre-cum it seems to be constantly producing. Again and again. And then there are the fat testicles that keep swinging between the plump pig thighs, promising so much more cum in the future…

“Shane, my boy!” Mayor Lewis suddenly calls out, lightly banging his fist against the fence. The Farmer flinches, back immediately going straight. She had forgotten about the old man for a moment, too lost in watching her pigs breed Shane. She glances at him out of the corners of her eyes but the Mayor’s gaze is solely fixed on his… assistant.

“There are two more animals waiting there turn and I do have some other responsibilities today! If you would please hurry it up a little?”

Farmer wonders what he means by that. How the Hell should Shane ‘hurry it up’?

He nods, a low sob wrecking his body.

“Y-Yes, sir.” His answer sounds pathetically weak.

Farmer has no idea what he is doing; but somehow Shane does manage to get the pig to climax. His insides must squeeze down on the corkscrew cock something fierce… or is he massaging it? She would simply love to know what it feels like to fuck this man in this moment.

The pig squeals briefly, saliva dripping from its chewing mouth and onto Shane’s back as everything stills for a few long, desperate moments. A second pig already starts to waddle its way up to them.

Suddenly the three are so civilized… just politely waiting in line for their new breeding sow to be free for them. Farmer wouldn’t believe it if she didn’t see it with her own two eyes. Who would have thought that all it took was a nice wet hole?

The first pig dismounts. While the second one starts to get into position, Shane just kneels there, forehead in the mud, tongue lolling. He is breathing like he’s run a marathon.

“Are you okay?” Farmer calls out hesitantly. To her unending surprise, Shane nods before he is covered by the next pig just a moment later.

Farmer clenches her thighs together, her hands wrapped in claws around the fence she and the Mayor are standing at. He is watching it all happen with an expression of joy; like his assistant getting pumped full of gallons of pig cum is something adorable to witness.

It makes her wonder what… other things he’s made him do. What did she miss?

The second pig is smaller than the first and has a better time navigating around. It means that it finds its place almost immediately, spearing into Shane and settling for the laziest fuck the Farmer has ever seen.

It just rests on its sow’s back, happily drooling onto Shane and snuffling into the hair on the back of his neck – all the while Shane sounds like he is being skewered.

Which he is, she supposes. He keeps making those throaty, breathless sounds that tickle something in her brain and make her antsy to get closer and have a better look at the proceedings.

She doesn’t know if Shane had come on his first stud’s cock but he is still sporting an erection. Or maybe he’s having one again already? It is still getting fucked into the warm mud of the pigpen; still pushing deep into it with squelching, bubbling sounds while he gets filled with a wet corkscrew cock.

Mayor Lewis is humming a little tune next to her. He looks completely jazzed by the proceedings; bouncing on the balls of his feet, watching his assistant getting fucked within an inch of his life. He’s getting filled with even more pig cum. It keeps splattering out and onto the mud between his thighs; and still when the second pig dismounts, there is practically a deluge of watery pig cum squirting out of his puffy hole.

“Very good, my boy!” Lewis calls. “Just one more, yes?”

Shane wheezes as an answer. If Farmer is concerned for a moment that he might have changed his mind after all, her worries are being put to rest by Shane trying to turn his way around for the next beast. Stuck in the mud as he is, it is faster for the pig to waddle around him and mount up.

The Farmer’s gaze flicks up to the other two pigs. They are lying right next to each other in one of the corners, stretched out and languid. She’s never seen her pigs so content before – and certainly not so peaceful.

She looks back to Shane. At this point it seems like the stiff mud that his limbs have sunken into is the sole thing keeping him kneeling pretty for his last stud. His forehead keeps getting smeared into the ground. He looks oddly natural in this position. Like it’s the true place for Shane to be.

In a pig pen? Or speared on cock?

The Farmer blinks slowly. She can’t quite make up her mind on that regard. She can’t deny that his standoffishness had kind of annoyed her and seeing him like this is… oddly nice.

But.

Without taking her eyes off of him and his last breeding session, Farmer says with a crack in her voice: “Thank you for coming over and helping me with my problem, Mayor Lewis. It has been… enlightening.” She swallows thickly. “I think… I think I’ll go to Marnie’s tomorrow and get myself a sow, though.”

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Jerry Coyne

Published: Jan 7, 2024

Oops! Scientific American did it again, this time with an op-ed that could have been ripped from the pages of The Onion.  As is so common these days, the piece proposes that we change the language of science (astronomy in this case), since some of its terms are bad in four ways:

a.  They are violent, sexist, and triggering b. They are not “beautiful and elegant” like astronomy is, but grating; and they are “not kind” c.  They are non-inclusive, presumably helping keep minorities out of astronomy. d. They are untruthful and distort astronomy

In my view, none of these claims holds up, for the article is all Pecksniffian assertion with not a shred of evidence. Author Juan Madrid assumes the role of a bomb-sniffing dog, snuffling the field of astronomy for linguistic mines.

Click the headline below to read and weep, or find the piece archived here.  The author is identified this way (my link):

Juan P. Madrid is an assistant professor in the department of physics and astronomy at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley.

The piece begins by describing a collision that will take place, 4 to 7 billion years hence, between the Milky Way and its closest galaxy, Andromeda.  Immediately the word “collision” is seen as triggering. One of Madrid’s students described the future collision instead as “a giant galactic hug.” But the person who sent me this link added this comment:

My wife says that if Andromeda doesn’t want the Milky Way to hug her then it’s interstellar sexual assault.

Indeed! But Madrid hastens to instruct us why using “collision” is not only grating, but misleading:

The kindness, but also the accuracy, of the language my student used was in sharp contrast to the standard description we use in astronomy to explain the final destiny of Andromeda and the Milky Way: “a collision.” But as astronomers have predicted, when Andromeda and the Milky Way finally meet, their stars will entwine and create a larger cosmic structure, a process that is more creating than destroying, which is what we envision when we use the term collision. A galactic hug is scientifically truthful, and it’s led me to believe that astronomers should reconsider the language we use.

First of all “collision” doesn’t mean “destroying”, but simply two objects hitting each other. In this case, two galaxies “collide”, but their stars are spread so far apart that they’ll simply merge into one big galaxy and star will not hit star.  You could say “merge” instead of “collide”, but that also implies that perhaps the stars will absorb each other.  If you want to convey the idea that “nothing gets banged up,” then, Madrid suggests using “galactic hug”. He actually wants astronomers, their classes, and their textbooks, to adopt this new, kind, and romantic term. (There are, of course, more salacious terms that could be used.)  But they won’t be because they sound dumb, and in fact “galactic hug” is just as inaccurate as the other terms, for “hug” implies that there is some mutual enfolding, when in fact, the entities merge and do not remain separate, as humans do when they have a (temporary) hug.  When Fred and Sue hug each other, they don’t merge into one person. . .

And so Madrid, combing the literature for other terms that are jarring and, he says, misleading, finds more, as of course he would. (You can do this in any field of biology, chemistry. or physics; all you need is a sufficiently diligent Pecksniff). I’ve singled out Madrid’s instances of bad language below by adding my own links, and putting those words in bold.

For instance, in galaxy evolution we invoke imagery strikingly similar to what you would expect if you were eavesdropping on Hannibal Lecter: words like cannibalism, harassment [JAC: no instance found],  starvation, strangulation, stripping or suffocation. There is a rather long list of foul analogies that have entered, and are now entrenched, in the lexicon of professional astronomy. We have grown accustomed to this violent language and as a community, we seldom question or reflect on its use. Strangulation is a particularly cringeworthy term in astronomy, referring to the decline of the number of stars born in some types of galaxies. This is a vicious crime where most often the victim is a woman; the perpetrator, a man. Yet, we use this word mindlessly to describe a slow astronomical process that takes millions of years. Under certain conditions, some galaxies use up or lose the gas that is the primordial ingredient to form stars. When that happens, galaxies make new stars at a lower rate. But these galaxies do not die or suffer great harm. They will continue to shine and will live their natural evolution. This is but one of many examples of violent language in our field that actually describes something gradual, slow and perhaps even gentle.

Madrid was savvy enough to impute misogyny to one of these terms: “strangulation”, giving some woke heft to his thesis. But if you look at how the terms are used, only someone who wants to be offended would be.  Moreover, they are not inaccurate. “Starvation“, for example, refers to something that cuts off the flow of gas that galaxies need for new star formation. I don’t find it inaccurate at all. In fact, none of these terms are inaccurate—what Madrid really objects to is that they are “triggering” and “unwelcoming”. He tries to sell his campaign to deep-six these terms as being “untruthful”, because he doesn’t want to look like an ideologue, but I’m not buying it. Also he allows “explosion” for the creation of a supernova, in most cases he finds this language ���needlessly vicious and [promoting] inaccurate connotations.”

In short, Madrid finds this language triggering, for that’s the only explanation for why we should avoid this kind of “vicious” language.  And, as he says below,

The use of hypercharged words in our field ignores the fact that this violent imagery can trigger distress in colleagues who might have been victims of violence.

But there are two points to be made here. First, as I noted in a recent post, giving the relevant studies, “Trigger warnings don’t work” and can even cause more trauma. There is no evidence that using this sort of language somehow harms the students. In fact, the remedy for those who are traumatized by certain words is not to avoid exposure to them, but to learn to not be upset when you are exposed. There is therapy for this.

Second, as is so often the case in these screeds, Madrid gives no examples of how the “bad language” upsets people. He should be able to produce at least a dozen cases on the spot, like “Jane got upset and left the class when she heard the word ‘strangulation'”, or “Bob reported Professor Basement Cat to the university for using the term  ‘cannibalism’ on the astronomy exam, which, he said, made him think of the Donner Party and prevented him from completing the exam.”  In nearly all of these language-policing articles, there is a surfeit of outrage and a dearth of examples or evidence of harm.

But Madrid circumvents the lack of evidence and simply suggests ways that we can censor this language, again pretending he’s interested mainly in scientific truth:

To shift toward more welcoming and truthful language in astronomy, scientific journals can push to change the currently accepted language. The referee, or the scientific editor, can ask the authors to consider more appropriate descriptions of the physical processes involved. Referees, editors and editorial boards can step up to enforce scientific accuracy and stop the use of violent, misogynistic language that is now pervasive. This is a call for scientific precision. The use of hypercharged words in our field ignores the fact that this violent imagery can trigger distress in colleagues who might have been victims of violence.

“Can”, “could have”, “might have”. Where are the examples of this? The sweating professor gives none. And isn’t it amazing that the more accurate language is always the kinder language?

And, as expected, Madrid manages to drag race, inclusion, and diversity into his discussion, even though none of the terms above have anything to do with race. And this belies his faux concern mainly for scientific accuracy:

As astronomers, we must strive to create a more inclusive and diverse community that reflects the composition of our society. Valuable efforts to provide opportunities for women and minorities to succeed in astronomy have been created. However, by many metrics, the progress made towards gender equality and true diversity has been painfully slow. We must listen to the new generation of astronomers. My student showed me that while some astronomical processes can be intense, the universe revealed through astronomy provides us with the most fascinating sights known to humankind. Like many other young scientists, she thinks that when we explain astronomical phenomena with wording and phrases that share our excitement and appreciation, it also encourages others to join in and wonder what else we can discover together. The universe is beautiful, elegant and ever-changing. Astronomy would be wise to follow its lead.

And so, in the end, we see that this kind of misguided effort, concentrating on words rather than science itself, is part of the corruption that has entered science via DEI and its ideology.  What we have is one more attempt to control thought by controlling language.

There is no evidence that minorities and women are being kept out of astronomy because they don’t find its language “inclusive,”, though that’s really the thesis of Madrid’s piece.  But the very idea that this thesis is true is laughable. Promoting the idea that galaxies hug each other is not going to bring people pouring into astronomy.

Once again Scientific American, trying to ride the woke bandwagon, has fallen off the train. Blame not only the author, but the editor, who actually approved this nonsense.

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These people are fucking lunatics.