#smth about that fucks with my brain
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so officially finished kiwami 2, majima saga aside which won't take long. ignore how this isn't a screenshot, this was easier
i'm just gonna dump the thousand words or so of thoughts i put in my fic doc here for posterity and anyone who might get a kick out of reading them. lots and lots of messiness, vague spoilers for rgg online plus one itsy bitsy reference to the stage play
hot take that there were maybe some redeemable elements in the last bit (mainly all the times kaoru and ryuji talk to each other) but so much of it is so fucking stupid and full of HE WOULD NOT DO THAT (mainly kiryu). idk. i don’t hate it but it needed some work
interesting things learned tho, ryuji didn’t expect to live long, he says he made it further than he was expecting. as we now know from rggo, he already knew about his jingweonha connection and was actively ignoring it (which is why terada marks him for death in the first place. slot han in here?) and remembered the night where his father died (despite being like 2 at the time, at most). kiryu also reiterates that he sees nishiki in ryuji, which i think is fair (and the stage play people clearly agreed). ‘the least i can do is honour a man like that’ is an interesting attitude to have. also ryuji is like ‘i see why my sister fell fer ya’ which is not quite the japanese line (ish) but it’s also not the straightest thing he’s ever said. ryuji also very clearly would have doted on kaoru quite a lot, if they’d lived together as children or otherwise, and i really think we missed out on seeing more of them. maybe i’m just soft for that kind of thing.
i feel like a more interesting conundrum would have been both ryuji and kiryu being wounded from their fight, delaying it again (cos they’d done it once no reason not to do it again) but neither are moving the way they should and (believing the bomb is real) kaoru has to pick one to carry and one to leave behind. (maybe halfway down the stairs or smth?) it wouldn’t be especially original but it would make more sense imo. her going down the lift does nothing but slow her down (ig she has access to the controls and doesn’t use them for hashtag drama reasons) which i don’t think fundamentally changes her position that much from before the second ryuji fight. it also gives her smth to fucking do that isn’t just crying and grabbing fences and doing that dumbfuck charge that i don’t think she would have done (her gun hadn’t gone far! then again i have hindsight and am thinking clearer than she is). anyway kiryu pushes her to take ryuji (guilt over nishiki?) and locks them in the lift thingy and sends them down, fully ready to die now. his and ryuji’s wounds mirror each other but i feel like kiryu got the shorter end of the stick? plus he was shot slightly earlier so has been bleeding for longer.
i cannot say this enough, kiryu would not leave ryuji. like, he just wouldn’t. if there was even a chance he was still alive, he would make sure he got to someone or he would at least try. he’s at his most inactive in cutscenes in kiwami 2 (i think) and it’s frustrating as a player asdfghjkl
ALSO if sudo and date and haruka went to the effort of preparing and going up in that helicopter, why didn’t they also prepare a rope?? or smth to rescue people who were on top of the tower???? they clearly knew there was a bomb up there (beforehand or not is unclear but we don’t see them have a conversation about it) and want kiryu and co. to leave. (and not MAKE OUT ON A ROOFTOP they were really going at it huh, ryuji’s ?corpse? is right fucking there guys oh and goda jin’s? he sort of vanishes from that last bit)
also it would have been kind of funny if, while there was still that ten minutes, everyone sprinted for the stairs and made it down and they’re waiting for the building to blow and when it inevitably doesn’t they’re all just standing there checking their watches like is it late? did smth break? who wants to be the sucker and go check? can we call an ambulance for the two idiots? majima is down in the construction yard i think so he’d probably send nishida, maybe?
idk kiryu has no interest in kaoru to me. he treats her no differently to anyone else aside from the two times they kiss, both of which feel very out of character for him, and that romance subplot takes away any and all girlboss power kaoru had. she went from beating men up and threatening them with bokuto and shit to like, i love man, so sad. (they knew each other like a week!!!!!! and they’re dying for each other!!!! give me a break!!!!!) that’s not to detract from the awful fucking week she has of learning who her family are (some racism in there??? i’m not qualified to speak on that, maybe it’s just the gang thing, ) and then watching literally all of them die one after another. except mama, she’s fine and never appears again. it’s very much aiming for a ‘she can be a ‘woman’ (i.e. be emotional and like cute things and not try and match the locker room attitude of the men) and also take names’ but it doesn’t succeed at that at all. from kiryu’s conversation with her on their little date thing (which is cute, i’ll give it that) he was telling her to be true to herself, right? it's his go to line. which suggests that her kicking dudes in the face a lot and working incredibly hard (she’s a prodigy, in multiple fields! this doesn’t get explored enough) is NOT her true self, the one who plays with teddy bears and falls in love is. which, again, not that those two things can’t co-exist, but the game doesn’t allow them to either. just, ah. more wasted woman potential in a yakuza game. yayoi gets the same treatment :((( you gave me two step on me yakuza ladies and dropped the ball on both of them, come on guys. hopefully she gets to live a little in 8.
#me#ryu ga gotoku#i don't think i made a post like this for kiwami?#pretty sure i did for 0#anyway#thoughts on the game as a whole#i had fun#it has its issues but i definitely had a better time overall with it than kiwami#the side content was more my speed#cabaret minigame my beloved i did the whole thing in one straight shot#took me like a week and a half#also liked clan creator cos it was pretty funny in a dumb relaxing kind of way#tho the karaoke selection was kinda mid imo#zetsubouchou pride? banger#everything else (new to me)? meh#weirdest thing about the majima saga is watching majima do kiryu's animations#smth about that fucks with my brain#this is so long i'm so sorry#not queued
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
#edit: tinytauris fact checked my post and they sang 'hello' not someone like you & it was 'your big monster' not eggplant#everyday i think about the fact that yukierre should've been what lestappen is now#i should be able to go on the yukierre tag on ao3 and it should say 'showing 1-20 of 6745'#they were genuinely so fuckingg weird about each otherrrrrr#im being so serious when i say that if they ever came out as gay/bi/whatever i really wouldnt be surprised#literally just 'okay?? fork spotted in kitchen cmon now' moment#anyway i think about that moment on the bus soooo often#will you miss me? / maybe for 2-3 minutes / ill take that then. even if it's just for 2-3 minutes ill take that#hwat the FUCK#i was going 'gay gay homosexual' everytime i saw them together#yukierre#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#also im like 90% sure that everyting i worte down actually happened but if i wrote smth down that didnt happen#and my yukierre infested brain just conjured up please let me know#also ive had this is in my drafts foreverrrr (re: since july) so if this has already been done im so sorry#i always feel like such a loser making posts about driver relationships lol#like 'oh look at that weirdo that got too invested in people she doesn't even know'#whatever im getting to introspective now#1k
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just how can i protect your smile?
#you guys like yaoi? can i get you some yaoi#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#proseka#tsukasa tenma#rui kamishiro#ruikasa#AUUUUUGH.#this is what finally makes me actually draw riks. vocaloid autism#putting the link in the caption because NOBODY FUCKIGN TLAKS ABOUT SCISSORHANDS EVER WHERES THE HYPE I NEED HER. SONG OF THE DECADE(2009)#this song makes me incredibly normal. my bad. i saw the miume choreography when i was like 11 and my brain shifted#i wanted their outfits to look like mikus in the mv so bad. Fuck my life for that btw stupid fuckign frill trim. why did she have to slay#tried to think of smth other than butterflies for kasa but i have no brain and tbh i hope his life is miserable so its fine#me posting this only to tmblr and not twt because i fucking hate twt#im drawing more song covers that live in my mind palace so i'll pist them there all together. and maybe here all together. who give a shit.#emnn skeleton orchestra next and it will fix me#Good lord. sorry. Im so caught up posting this for no reason. Get me out of here#im supposed to have a lecture in 3 hours but post covid symptoms say otherwise. im so fucked#i have a cyberpunk dead boy wip with them but idk i dont like posting wips on here its like an archive. n i want to actually finish it#but dear lord rendering it with their stupid outfits. clutches my chest falls to the floor. AUUUUGH#wxs killing me killing me taking damage augh auugh aughg
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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Normally Sanji is the most put together person between him and Luffy. He’s probably the most put together person on the entire crew besides Robin. Meanwhile Luffy is a walking disaster, chaos is naturally drawn to him and he’s ALWAYS getting into trouble. When it comes to their actual romantic relationship tho. It’s COMPLETELY flipped lmao
Luffy will walk out on deck with his hair slightly tousled and his vest a bit askew but that’s normal for him. He looks smug as hell but that’s also normal for him. Nobody bats an eye. Then Sanji comes tumbling out of the galley. Shirt untucked and buttoned up the wrong way, hair thoroughly ruffled, clothes rumpled, looking utterly fucking disheveled. His nose is bleeding, he’s stumbling like he’s drunk and his neck is covered in hickies. Everyone on deck proceeds to lose their goddamn MINDS
#Sanji tries to tell them he was ‘attacked’ but then Luffy goes ‘Yeah by me ;))))’ and Sanji promptly gives up#Usopp: Dude you’re a mess. I’ve never seen you this unkempt before#Sanji: I. Listen.#Luffy: 😋#Sanji: DON’T LOOK SO PROUD OF YOURSELF THIS IS YOUR FAULT#Luffy: I take full responsibility and I WILL be doing it again!!!!#Sanji: NFJSNFNSNCNSNCNSN#Lusan#Sanlu#One Piece#Sanji#Luffy#Shima speaks#Just reminding you all where my heart lies. In case you didn’t know already tee hee <3#I love the contrast between how they are normally and how they are when they’re intimate#AKA Sanji’s a fucking mess after Luffy gives him any kind of affection and Luffy is fully unbothered#Sanji getting overwhelmed at any physical affection makes me ill actually.#Luffy knows that he’s doing smth right when Sanji’s nose starts bleeding LMAO#Luffy: Cool!! I’m glad Sanji’s enjoying it :D#Meanwhile Sanji’s brain is fried. He can’t even articulate. LMAO#Idk what it is about them!! They’ve changed me!! They awakened something in me………jfjdnnd
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What primarily drew me to Kazurei as a pairing isn't the roommate trope, nor the golden retriever and brood cat trope, or the gay spy x family gag, but rather this scene from Episode 8 (that I'm somehow still not over.)
It's the mutual reluctance to love and let themselves heal, with the exception that Kazuki couldn't stand to see Rei in the same position as him, so he offers to take care of him anyway. Both, who had a rough relationship with love, let themselves confide in each other. Rei, who found comfort and experienced what it's like to be taken care of, and Kazuki, who can't help but to extend care because it's something that's just... natural to do in his position. Kazuki, who is hurted by love that is taken from him over and over again, offers what he'd regard as a bare minimum because deep down, he wants his remaining loved ones (and in this timeline just rei) to feel the love he always desired.
Though Kazuki is seemingly full of emotions every time (enough to almost repress his sadness), his actions are always so gentle and full of warmth.
What makes it more beautiful is how Rei adapts Kazuki concept's, or rather, way to express love to Miri (with the most apparent example being Episode 9) considering Kazuki was probably one of if not the first person he'd experienced and therefore actively saw it from. He initially wasn't able to comprehend how to love and be loved, and only through Kazuki's deeds did he learn how comforting and nice it is to be cared for, so he wanted to extend that to Miri after realizing how much his family meant to him.
Going back to the topic, I genuinely adore how Kazurei is a pairing consisting of two people who weren't given the opportunity to love, and during their time before Miri subconsciously fulfilled each other's emotional needs. Though initially distant, they immediately clicked because they fit together like puzzle pieces. Similar desires but difference in approach and seek what the other has.
While there is mutual understanding between them, being able to read each other, neither of the two had the will to step onto each others' boundaries and address it. It was satisfying to see them grow closer emotionally and form the courage to communicate, with great examples being the last few episodes of the series.
Tl;dr the soft aspect of Kazurei made me complerely fall in love with the pairing and I used to be neutral about it
#buddy daddies#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#kazurei#i did not fuckinf mean to type a long post oh my GOD my apologies for being so obsessed with them#buddy daddies meta#if it even... counts???#idk LMAO#we loving that dash of early codependency 😍#and now they finally stand on equal footing if its to be miri's parents UGH#this probably doesnt make sense and has a lot of errors because im supposed to be doing smth else rn but#kazurei in the brain (they wont get out!!!)#can i be normal about this family for one fucking SECOND
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the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger
#uhh#disordered eating cw#just in case#mumbling#like jfc i know i’m not the first to say it and my experience is relatively SO tame#but it STILL fucked with my head for YEARS#and most people don’t go nearly that long between weight loss attempts at all for basically their whole lives!!!!!#and we’re so blasé about it like yeah just eat less to lose weight#and so few people talk about the really weird shit that phase of my life taught me even though they seem like pretty universal things#like when you lose weight deliberately by denying yourself food you get COLD#you get cold and you get in your head and you get sad it’s like being less alive#the times i’ve lost weight/recomped on accident (by doing smth that makes me move more‚ getting better sleep etc)#it’s been WARM#burn hotter move freer feel happier#and also the way hunger feels when you’ve been denying yourself food for an extended time is NOT the same as baseline hunger#it’s actually kind of wild that we use the same word to describe both feelings like that shit is NOT the same#that shit is not ‘being really hungry’ it’s a fuckin. blood curse or some shit you feel straight up unhinged#and i should disclaim here i am not talking large amounts of weight#i’ve fluctuated over i think a 20lb range max since reaching close to my adult height and that’s a guesstimate#but even in my relatively unremarkable little experiences here the way deliberate weight loss fucked with my brain is absurd to me#i’m fine now have been for years but seriously thinking back on it the fact that this is routine medical advice. unreal
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jesus ive posted EIGHT (8??????) fics (/chapters) this year and FOUR of them were in june. happy pride?????
#i posted 6 for all of last year. to be honest i havent felt this nuts about writing for a while#i feel like lawlight and akeshu do things to my brain that nothing else does#that and the fucking insanity that comes with being so busy w career shit you feel like you're about to pop at all times unless u do smth#creative with your no time that you dotn have#anyway........thanks for joining me!!! on thje journey of the nonstop yapping.#rookposting#dont even look at my wip folder right now theres more#office au chatfic. lawlight longfic#the remaining three chapters of palacefic which definitely for sure will stay at three and wont become more for absolutely definite#other project i cant talk about#OTHER project i can't talk about#and the older ones also
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The universe where Robby is aspec is my favourite because it's gut-wrenchingly tragic that he's been in these relationships, because à la Steve Harrington, he's so inexperienced with receiving genuine care, affection and companionship that he doesn't know the difference between romantic and platonic feelings and conflates the two, inevitably leading to heartbreak on both sides.
BUT, it's also my favourite universe because then it's hilarious that all these bitches are obsessed with Robby, and he's honestly just there for the food and karate y'all
#aroace robby my beloved#I wanna say smth else about how this affects his perception of the s1-2 love triangle/square vs everyone else but my brain is static noise#look I LOVE keenry and I wish them all the best for the rest of the season#but FUCK I love indulging myself in my aroace robby whose in a weird qpr with sam/miguel/tory hc's it's like a reward for being a ck fan#robby keene#aroace#aromantic#asexual#cobra kai#ck
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Just made another weird dream in which animated Optimus was arguing with (what I think was) Sentinel (idk it was an orange and blue silhouette)
And at some point he said "yeah my lord doesn't flame... he fires 😎🤙" talking about Megatron...
I have no idea of what's the meaning behind this??? Like idk I guess Optimus/I meant "he's not all talk he is a man of action?" Like "he doesn't talk behind someone's back(flame) he straight up kills you (fires)"????
Idk abshfjhfjgjggjugi
#I WOULD be cringing about the “my pord part”#but i have the suspicion it was inspired by “the brave shall heed the call”#yesterday i finished reading the last chapters and i was shook to my core#in a positive way#hdhffhhfhfj#btw yea “my lord doesn't flame he fires😎”#BAUAAHAHSHSHSHDHHHDHDD#steel rambles#transformers#maccadam#maccadams#shitpost#megatron#optimus prime#tfa optimus prime#bro megop won't leave me alone not wven in my dreams#now please let's analyze this in a freudian way like “you want to be op and fuck megs” or smth#idk it's almost 7 in the morning my sleep deprived brain doesn't even know how to write atm
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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was going to sleep but then my brain went "hey. dont worry. heres a fucked up durge/ketheric idea. good night" and now i cant stop thinking about it
#smth smth both of them projecting onto the other#ketheric sees isobel in rue. rue sees her father in ketheric#weird stuff happens#and then my brain suggested adding gortash into the mix and suddenly its two people with daddy issues demanding a father figures attention#rue wanting to cut him open. ketheric indulging the same way he would with isobels curiosity about the world#sees his daughters face on that of a killer#rue thinks shes Doing Good and will get a good grade in bonding with the other chosen#also seeing how far she can push him. where are his limits#taunting him. you see your dead daughter in me? thats fucked up. im literally cutting u open rn
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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im gonna be real for a second. if fantasy can only be enjoyable to you when removed from any and all real world implications then is it even good
#mileposting#sorry if this seems like its targeting anything i literally just started thinking abt it for no reason#like this is not a vague LMAO but i think its smth ive thought about for a long time and i finally have the words for it#because like. okay for one all stories are based on the human experience whether its About the Human Experience or not#so i think when approaching a work of fiction and seeing something that has implications in real life#a lot of people have the kneejerk reaction of ‘its fantasy/its made up/its not real’#but where did it come from? who was it written by? what are the writer’s personal feelings on the matter and does their bias affect the work#this is just a me thing i guess but i dont find it any fun to see those connections and immediately disregard them#its because of those structures and systems that we can find a fantasy work so compelling#i understand the want to just turn off ur brain sometimes and be like fuckkkk cool dragon#like i fucking love a good dragon or whatever dont get me wrong#i have a world of my own thats literally just Ooh cool shit#but i would not call that compelling. fun maybe. but a lot of the appeal is lost for me#fantasy worlds are mostly just. our history but with fantastical elements to it#they typically are not fantastical worlds with our elements Removed from it#so the way specifically societal structures are treated differently in that aspect is interesting!#idk this is kind of a nothing post also you can tell i got distracted like five times in the middle of writing the tags. smile
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the prednisone was mean to me overnight :(
#marzi speaks#probs bc i have a family member flying down today#to help make sure i’m not alone while my parents take a weekend trip to [OTHER CITY IN OUR STATE]#so i’m likely anxious abt that or smth#still it SUCKSSS#stayed up too late which gave it time for a mood swing so i went to bed kinda just sad and longing#then woke up at 4 am in a puddle of my own sweat (thank you steroid hot flashes)#and like. also mildly convinced i was about to start a new infusion and had to do specific prep for that#like i was in the damn hospital again#which. in hindsight is probably a trauma response. hm#but anyways by the time i went to the bathroom and my brain understood that the Wet on my back was sweat and not my own blood#i was able to go back to sleep. until around 7 am#tried to go back to sleep. got maybe another hour. saying fuck it and just getting up now#i’ll try to take a nap later#sighhh. ups and downs ups and downs#i’ll figure it out or whatever. but it is a little annoying#this isn’t exactly a vent but i don’t want anyone rbing it so
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She's doing it again. And by "it". Heh, well. Let's just say. Worrying about the state of this hellhole country before breakfast.
#which i know i shouldn't do. and yet#keep thinking about that protestor (a uni student!!) getting dragged and beaten up by cops. on live tv#or the one that got blinded because a cop threw a fucking rock at his eyes#and all the ones that are still under arrest#there's going to be another protest today. can't exactly contribute considering that's in jkt so i can only hope to stay informed#uni students in my city don't seem as active.. tho i did see they protested smth more local the other day so that's good#i know nobody here fucking cares abt indonesia but hnghgh. i should still do more here. my art brain's in a rut tho#hhh ok ok im letting go for now it's not even 7 in the morning yet
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