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ineffable-suffering · 1 year ago

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Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao).

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past, and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden.

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’.

And he already gave him the coffee.

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #neil gaiman #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens predictions #i lost my mind writing this #it must be nice to be able to be a casual enjoyer of media #who doesnt spend 5 days writing a 22 page document on an angle and why he lied to his demon boyfriend #my own meta

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pigeon-behavior · 2 months ago

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So how many birds do you own nowadays?

These days not many! Only 4!

It would have been more; I was making plans to expand my loft essentially 2x larger, but basically I got smited (smote?) by god or some shit in late 2021 and in 2022 was diagnosed with an incurable disability. The only reason I was able to keep the birds I did is because I live with others who have taken over cleaning and feeding.

A decent chunk of my birds I sent to my breeder friend, Renaissance Loft (Hemlock, Newt, and at least 2 of the kids that Newt had while in my loft both live there, Frost and Butternut).

I felt that it was a major shame to waste their breeding potential in my loft. I don't think pigeons need babies to be fulfilled or anything, but Hemlock and Newt consistently make friendly, confident babies, and they are EXCELLENT fathers, and those aren't things you can get just anywhere. Someone should utilize them! And so Ren is. Newt's blood has made it up into Canada at Keepsakes Loft and into pet homes through Ren, and I know someone else who owns a son of Hemlock's in a predominantly Old Dutch Turbit loft who is planning to breed for companions if they don't already. Not that I think ODTs need the temperament boost really, they seem pretty fucking friendly.

My current birds are my original pair, the High-Flying Tipplers Cloud and Taako (who also make insanely bombproof children, but less people are interested in pet pigeons that look so standard, so Mine), Taro, a half Classic Old Frill, half Lucerne sired by Hemlock, and Ivy, a Classic Old Frill with some Archangel heritage that makes her absolutely gorgeous. I decided to keep her and Taro because they are tangentially related to each other through Taro's mother, Lotus.

Normally, this wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker with pigeons, just something to be considered. But Lotus passed of an unavoidable condition called egg yolk peritonitis, or EYP. In her case it was genetic. Combining that with some other strange health problems spotted in the line, it's been agreed among our circle to no longer breed birds of this line to each other.

So I hung onto those two, considering I can't send them as a breeding pair to anyone and I can trust my own hatch control! Plus, it's very nice to have Taro around - he is such a blend of his mother and his father, both of whom I miss for different reasons. It's really nice to have a piece of them around, being an absolute goofball and being ridiculously large ♥️

#pet pigeons #my pigeons

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badaziraphaletakes · 3 months ago

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I wouldn't say it's offensive (?), but it just made me sad 🥺

I tried to follow the guidelines for sending something like this, but let me know if I should stop or should have done it differently

Me every time I see this godforsaken take:

Aziraphale did NOT "choose" heaven! He was forced into going back. If he'd gone with Crowley to AC, they would both have died. And that's assuming they'd even get that far. There was every chance that Metatrash would have smitten (smited? smote?) one or both of them on the spot if Aziraphale had said no. (Coffee or death. Seriously, could NG have made it any more obvious?)

And we have NO evidence Aziraphale actually *wanted* Crowley to become an angel again. WE CANNOT ASSUME ANYTHING HE SAID IN THE FF WAS WHAT HE ACTUALLY WANTED.

(Btw, you submitted it perfectly, @catziraphale! Thank you so much! :)

#good omens #goodomens #good omens 2 #badaziraphaletakes #goodomens2 #justice for aziraphale

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lunesprite · 1 year ago

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@dca-prompts @simpalert

Original prompt:

Trying this a different way this time! ~1500 words today. Takes a little bit to get there, but I hope you enjoy it!

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Nothing ever happens on Wednesdays. Well. Not from the hours of midnight to 6am at least.

It’s the perfect night to come back.

Around and above you, the lights of the pizzaplex flick off, casting your path in wells of deep shadow between islands of neon glow.

It was unsettling walking to your office the first few times. Management wanted you clocking in no more than five minutes before your shift officially began, and unless you sprinted from the time clock, there was no way in hell even that would get you from point A to your office down in the depths of the place before it got spooky in the pizzaplex. You used your phone flashlight for a bit - speed walking between neon streams and the glowing eyes of the ever-watchful wet floor bots - but, well.

Then Moon stole your phone.

It was your fault, to be fair.

You’d been late, you’d been hurrying, you heard a noise behind you and instantly thought ‘horror movie’ and whipped around and uh. Kind of flashbanged him in the face from two inches away. In your defense, no one had ever bothered to tell you what the other night security was, or tell you that it had a mischievous streak a mile wide.

So you figured you deserved it when he stole your phone and spent a good fifteen minutes suspended above you, sulking like a kicked cat before you gave up and stumbled your way to your office in the dark. And there, in between staring at the screen static of a completely empty plex, you decided to write him an apology.

One, you wanted your phone back. You’d just paid it off.

Two, call you a sucker, but he’d been kind of… cute? You’d never seen an animatronic sulk before and he’d sold it so well you’d really wanted to beckon him down and pet him.

You left that bit out of the apology. Which was a good thing, because when you’d clocked off in the morning and slipped by the daycare looking for the guy with your actually neatly written letter of apology, sealed with a sticker and everything, Sun looked at you like you were about to grow a second head.

And then, insisting that he was just checking it over for you, read the whole damn thing. Out loud. With acting.

You hadn’t been allowed to leave the tiny table he’d plonked you down at.

You’d been so mortified, your brain didn’t even register it when he whipped out your phone from somewhere and made you re-enact the incident with him - except Sun, wearing a hat also produced from places unknown, followed up the flashbang with dramatic wailing on the floor. Smote down, cruelly wounded, etc.

Which was all well and good, you’d said. But Moon’s was a lot cuter.

Yeah.

You know in those choice games, where like. Sometimes it brings up a notice? ‘There will be consequences for this action’?

There were consequences for that action. You still don’t dare go to the daycare during operating hours.

Sun, the menace, had gotten this gleam in his eyes and started howling and you fled like literal hounds were on your heels.

You hadn’t expected to clock in late the next day, the lights off before you even made it to the time clock, and then turn around to Moon right there.

And. Look, ok.

He was too big to be in that pill box of a room. So he was kind of scrunched up a bit. Hunched in on himself, his hat more crooked than usual, long legs and arms drawn in like. Like a cat, sitting behind you, with those big red eyes watching you.

He was cute. And you didn’t know about his and Sun’s whole situation - that liar - so you just. Did what you’d wanted to do the night before.

You reached out and pet him and that big cat just melted.

He made the deepest, happiest purr, eyes dimmed in contentment and next thing you knew, you were on the floor with an animatronic oozed across you, his face in your hands and his claws kneading the shitty carpet. Only, worse than a cat, there was no way to move the big cute lug to go anywhere.

Once Moon cuddled, you were stuck.

But you worked things out.

As much as the two of you enjoyed sitting in your office, his chin resting on your thighs as you watched the security feeds and idly pet him or wiped him down, he did have to do patrol, so you’d made a deal.

Wednesday, when nothing ever happened, Moon could come flop on you.

It wouldn’t take him long to show up tonight. After all, you’d been gone last week - vacation - and it’d taken a lot of pacifying to get your sulky cat to accept he’d have to go without cuddles for one week.

You unlock your office, flicking on the light switch beside the door and leave it open as you dump your overstuffed bag beside your chair and set your drink on your desk. If you didn’t keep the door open, Moon would claw at it. The exact same way a cat would paw at a closed door, except his are titanium and explaining it to management is a lot more… awkward. They always seem to expect so much more from your answers when they ask.

You only manage to get the screens turned on and dig out the wipes from your bag - the scrubby ones, a little treat - before the lights overhead go out, leaving you in only the faint light of the security feeds. And when you turn, you try very hard not to laugh.

All you can see are Moon’s eyes, staring accusingly in at you through the window beside the door.

“I’ve wronged you,” you say, as solemnly as possible.

His eyes narrow.

“Truly,” you turn, pulling out the starry blanket and new pillow wedged into your bag. “I have been a most cruel friend, to leave you uncuddled for a week.”

His claws creep around the edge of the doorway.

Almost everything else, you pull out from assorted hiding places in your office. Pillows. Not one, but two giant sleeping bags, spread out across the floor as you shove your chair to the edge of the admittedly small space. By the time you’ve finished, fluffing up the sturdy pillow you sacrificed from your old couch, Moon sits in the doorway.

Now for the final bribe.

Under his watchful optics, you set the wipes on the floor near the couch pillow. And then your drink. And then, with a wink, you reach into the bottom of your bag.

And pull out a massive power cord which you hold out in both hands, head bowed.

His eyes gleam, a quiet cackle hissing from his voice box.

“As an apology, please accept this offering of a night of cuddles and charging - just as long as you don’t blow up the circuits again.”

“No promises,” he hisses, already slinking inside and burrowing under the top sleeping bag as you huff out a laugh, pushing aside a bit of shelving to reach the heavy duty plug hidden behind it. You plug in the stupidly heavy cable and drag it over to the jingling blanket lump, grinning as he pops out his head. Just like a cat, he takes up 90% of any surface he deems his bed, and you drop the cable on him with a clunk as you clamber over him to the other side to your stash of wipes and drink.

The screens flicker as Moon plugs in the cable, and for a second you pause, wipe in hand, before he slinks an arm around your waist and plops his chin in your lap with a soft purr.

You laugh softly, checking over the security feeds for a second before you tilt up his face, smiling at his dimmed eyes and take the wipe to his forehead.

“I thought you were gonna knock us offline there, Moony.”

“Mmmm.” He hums, curling his lanky form around you until you’re hemmed in, his arms deceptively loose around you. “Still thinking about it.”

“I guess I’ll just have to convince you otherwise, hm? Can’t clean you up all nice if I can’t see a damn thing.”

You pat his head, settling back into your pillows as Moon mumbles something and, slowly, as the trash can fills with dirtied wipes - your eyes flicking to the screens each time you grab a new one - his purr evens out.

It’ll be a long night. Somehow, you suspect he’s not going to let you up until the end of your shift this time.

With a fond sigh, you hook an arm around him in turn, fiddling lightly with his hat as he snoozes and turn your eyes back to the wall of security monitors. His fingers rest loose and light against your sides. Every now and then, his claws twitch. His inner machinery ticks and whirrs lazily.

He really is a sweet thing, underneath all that mischief.

You almost want to kiss him. But, ah. This is enough, isn’t it?

#HOWLS my tab keeps eating this whenever i open discord #i have done this TWICE like a DINKUS #prompt fill #moon x y/n #moon x reader #dca-prompts #moon can be a bit moe as a treat #anyway i hope this works right and you see it and also like it #have some schmoop #spritewriting

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slitheringghost · 4 months ago

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"And Cain Repented Not Of What He Had Done": Harry Potter as Retelling of Cain and Abel, Part 2

Read Part 1

In part 1, I began to explore how HP is a retelling of Cain and Abel, weaving together passages from all the different interpretations of Cain and Abel with the corresponding passages in HP.

In this part I’ll focus largely on brother-sister dynamics, on the murders of Ariana, Merope, and Lily by their real or symbolic “brothers” and how they tie into the Cain and Abel narrative, because as mentioned in part 1, in some interpretations of the story Cain and Abel have twin sisters.

This post won’t make sense if you haven’t read part 1, so please read that first.

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Section 3.0

3.1 But when Abel fell down upon the ground, seeing that his brother meant to kill him, he said to Cain, “O, my brother, have pity on me. By the breasts we have sucked, smite me not! By the womb that bare us and that brought us into the world, smite me not unto death with that staff! If you will kill me, take one of these large stones, and kill me outright.” Then Cain, the hard-hearted and cruel murderer, took a large stone and smote his brother with it upon the head, until his brains oozed out, and he weltered in his blood, before him. And Cain repented not of what he had done.

“O, my brother, have pity on me” and “If you will kill me, take one of these large stones, and kill me outright” corresponds to Lily begging Voldemort to "have mercy, have mercy" and "kill me instead".

The "large stone" in this passage is very significant - it's represented by the Resurrection Stone placed in the Gaunt ring.

Harry noticed a ring on his uninjured hand that he had never seen Dumbledore wear before: It was large, rather clumsily made of what looked like gold, and was set with a heavy black stone that had cracked down the middle. Slughorn’s eyes lingered for a moment on the ring too, and Harry saw a tiny frown momentarily crease his wide forehead. (HBP) Sitting on one of the little spindle-legged tables that supported so many frail-looking silver instruments, was an ugly gold ring set with a large, cracked, black stone. (HBP)

Other than 'took a large stone and smote his brother with it upon the head" being an obvious reference to the lightning scar on Harry's forehead, it's also heavily tied to specifically brother-sister violence: Marvolo wears this ring - who presumably murdered his sister (Merope and Morfin's mother), and wore the ring while he strangled Merope. It's then passed down to Morfin - who attempted to kill his sister, and worn when he nearly kills Tom Riddle. Dumbledore meets his death due to a curse on that ring - who killed his sister Ariana, and the Resurrection Stone is tied to Dumbledore wishing to see Ariana again. The ring is finally passed down from Morfin to Tom Riddle - who killed his symbolic "sister" Lily.

The link between the Stone and Voldemort and Lily as "brother and sister" is demonstrated in HBP - Slughorn notices the ring, then soon begins describing Lily - who he describes exactly like Tom Riddle in Slughorn's memory where Tom is wearing that ring, drawing a significant parallel between them (see also: this post), which threads to Harry ultimately using Lily's murder ("You don't want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?") to get the real memory.

It’s difficult to spot all the specific allusions to “the cruel and hard hearted murderer” since words like "cruel" and "heart" are used very often, but the most important one is likely the phrases used in the Godric's Hollow graveyard, the pivotal scene of the Cain and Abel narrative thread, where Harry goes with his “sister” Hermione, wearing Merope’s locket which symbolizes a sister’s murder by her brother Morfin, where the grave of the sister Dumbledore killed lies, and finally where Voldemort arrives and has a flashback to killing his “sister” Lily:

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” on Ariana's grave, also echoing the words engraved on the Mirror of Erised - I show not your face but your heart's desire

Also important is that the locket horcrux is repeatedly described as a heart, particularly right before Voldemort appears in Godric's Hollow and has the flashback to Lily's murder, and then the locket leaves a mark on Harry's heart right after he sees the full memory of Lily's death, echoing the Mark of Cain and representing Harry feeling like Cain via guilt about Lily dying for him:

Was it his own blood pulsing through his veins that he could feel, or was it something beating inside the locket, like a tiny metal heart? (DH) A metal heart was banging outside his chest, and now he was flying, flying (DH)

“I couldn’t get the Horcrux off you,” Hermione said […] “It was stuck, stuck to your chest. You’ve got a mark; I’m sorry, I had to use a Severing Charm to get it away. The snake bit you too, but I’ve cleaned the wound and put some dittany on it. . . .” He pulled the sweaty T-shirt he was wearing away from himself and looked down. There was a scarlet oval over his heart where the locket had burned him. (DH)

As for Cain weltering in Abel's blood, the idea of a brother shedding a sibling's blood is alluded to in several instances - Peter as Cain taking Harry's blood in GoF and Voldemort as Cain using Harry's blood/Lily’s sacrifice to rebuild his body, and similarly the words about Voldemort’s murder of Lily in OoTP; Morfin's bloody knife in the Gaunt shack with the implication that Morfin as Cain was violent to Merope with that knife; and Dumbledore and Harry as Cain in the Cave (see section 3.3)

“I wanted Harry Potter’s blood. I wanted the blood of the one who had stripped me of power thirteen years ago... for the lingering protection his mother once gave him would then reside in my veins too...” (GoF) “While you can still call home the place where your mother’s blood dwells, there you cannot be touched or harmed by Voldemort. He shed her blood, but it lives on in you and her sister. Her blood became your refuge” (OoTP) he [Morfin] was brandishing a wand in one hand and a short and rather bloody knife in the other. [...] With a roar of rage, Morfin leapt out of his chair and ran at Ogden, brandishing his bloody knife and firing hexes indiscriminately from his wand. Ogden ran for his life. Dumbledore indicated that they ought to follow and Harry obeyed, Merope’s screams echoing in his ears. “Where’s the locket, eh, where’s Slytherin’s locket?” Voldemort did not answer. Morfin was working himself into a rage again; he brandished his knife and shouted, “Dishonored us, she did, that little slut! (HBP)

The words "until his brains oozed out" inspired the scene in the DoM with the brains that strangle Ron, Ron who starts to perform the part of Voldemort, this representing the memory of Lily's death strangling Voldemort:

“Honest, Harry, they’re brains — look — Accio Brain!” [...] Harry, Ginny, and Neville and each of the Death Eaters turned in spite of themselves to watch the top of the tank as a brain burst from the green liquid like a leaping fish. For a moment it seemed suspended in midair, then it soared toward Ron, spinning as it came, and what looked like ribbons of moving images flew from it, unraveling like rolls of film — “Ha ha ha, Harry, look at it —” said Ron, watching it disgorge its gaudy innards. “Harry, come and touch it, bet it’s weird —” “RON, NO!” Harry did not know what would happen if Ron touched the tentacles of thought now flying behind the brain, but he was sure it would not be anything good. (OoTP)

(A meta on how the DoM sequence is a step-by-step reenactment of the events between Voldemort, Lily, and Harry, much like the Slytherin locket cave is a step-by-step reenactment of the Life and Death of Merope Gaunt, coming at some point.)

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

3.2 According to the Book of Jubilees, Cain murdered his brother with a stone. Afterwards, Cain was killed by the same instrument he used against his brother; his house fell on him and he was killed by its stones. A heavenly law was cited after the narrative of Cain's death saying:

With the instrument with which a man kills his neighbour with the same shall he be killed; after the manner that he wounded him, in like manner shall they deal with him.

This one’s particularly interesting and could have many meanings. The most basic reference is likely Cain's house falling down on him linking to the roof of the Godric's Hollow house being blasted apart:

Most of the cottage was still standing […] but the right side of the top floor had been blown apart; that, Harry was sure, was where the curse had backfired. He and Hermione stood at the gate, gazing up at the wreck of what must once have been a cottage just like those that flanked it. “I wonder why nobody’s ever rebuilt it?” whispered Hermione. “Maybe you can’t rebuild it?” Harry replied. “Maybe it’s like the injuries from Dark Magic and you can’t repair the damage?” (DH) And then he broke: He was nothing, nothing but pain and terror, and he must hide himself, not here in the rubble of the ruined house, where the child was trapped and screaming, but far away... far away... (DH)

But more interesting is the cyclical violence this passage links to - it was Dumbledore’s obsession with the Deathly Hallows that led to neglect of Ariana and in a way her death, and Dumbledore is then killed by that same obsession, with the Resurrection Stone, fatally cursed by the horcrux that is symbolically linked to Ariana's murder:

“And at the heart of our schemes, the Deathly Hallows! How they fascinated him, how they fascinated both of us! The unbeatable wand, the weapon that would lead us to power! The Resurrection Stone -- [...] To me, I confess, it meant the return of my parents, and the lifting of all responsibility from my shoulders.” (DH) After another short pause Harry said, “You tried to use the Resurrection Stone.” Dumbledore nodded. “When I discovered it, after all those years, buried in the abandoned home of the Gaunts — the Hallow I had craved most of all, though in my youth I had wanted it for very different reasons — I lost my head, Harry. I quite forgot that it was now a Horcrux, that the ring was sure to carry a curse. I picked it up, and I put it on, and for a second I imagined that I was about to see Ariana, and my mother, and my father, and to tell them how very, very sorry I was..." (DH)

Dumbledore is then weakened further by Merope's locket, which is also linked to Merope's murder by her brother and during which Dumbledore sees himself kill Ariana, repeatedly alluding to brother-sister violence.

Something else notable is that Dumbledore doesn’t die immediately - his death is drawn out, suffering under the Gaunt ring curse for a year. This parallels how Voldemort’s death is drawn out after murdering his "sister" and trying to murder his "brother" Harry, spending 13 years in Albania and then a few chasing after Harry.

Other than the obvious of the rebounding Killing Curse, you could say it was similarly Voldemort’s obsession with a Deathly Hallow - the Elder Wand - that killed his “brother” Snape, and Voldemort is then defeated by the Elder Wand.

It could also apply to the Resurrection Stone with regards to Voldemort and Lily, Voldemort symbolically killing Lily with the "large stone", and in one interpretation being defeated by the Resurrection Stone/the Deathly Hallows if you accept that was why Harry survived.

Interestingly 1) Harry has a dream with Nagini (Voldemort's symbolic mother) going through the Gaunt ring with the Resurrection Stone and then Lily's grave - in the same chapter the Silver Doe appears, and only a chapter after he visits Lily's grave and sees the memory of her murder 2) The Lily from the Resurrection Stone parallels Morfin while he's wearing the Gaunt ring with the Stone in it - both of these again hinting at a brother killing a sister with the "large stone" in the Cain and Abel retelling:

Harry’s dreams were confused and disturbing: Nagini wove in and out of them, first through a gigantic, cracked ring, then through a wreath of Christmas roses. (DH) Lily’s smile was widest of all. She pushed her long hair back as she drew close to him, and her green eyes, so like his, searched his face hungrily, as though she would never be able to look at him enough. (DH) Morfin pushed the hair out of his dirty face, the better to see Riddle, and Harry saw that he wore Marvolo’s black-stoned ring on his right hand. (HBP)

This ultimately threads to it being Lily's soul that came out of the Resurrection Stone and created the versions of James, Sirius, and Remus, the way the locket creates Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione (more on this in future metas).

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3.3 However, there is a cave, called the "Blood Cave", in a mountain located to the northern part of Syria. It is thought to be the scene of the crime where Cain killed his brother Abel. […] Ahmed came to know from Abel -who took an oath of that- it was his own blood (that was spilt there (in that very cave)). Abel said that he had asked Allah Almighty to make the invocations and supplications offered in that place acceptable […] However, it is to be stated that this narration represents only a vision.

The Blood Cave corresponds to Slytherin locket cave, which is constructed by Voldemort as a symbolic representation of the Gaunt shack - hence being the scene of the crime where Cain killed Abel; it represents the house in which Merope was murdered by her brother (see my meta Slytherin Locket Cave: The Life and Death of Merope Gaunt), and fitting the thread of sisters murdered by brothers, Dumbledore drinks the Emerald potion in that cave and sees himself killing Ariana:

“I rather think,” said Dumbledore, putting his uninjured hand inside his robes and drawing out a short silver knife of the kind Harry used to chop potion ingredients, “that we are required to make payment to pass.” “Payment?” said Harry. “You’ve got to give the door something?” “Yes,” said Dumbledore. “Blood, if I am not much mistaken.” “Blood?” [...] There was a flash of silver, and a spurt of scarlet; the rock face was peppered with dark, glistening drops. “You are very kind, Harry,” said Dumbledore, now passing the tip of his wand over the deep cut he had made in his own arm, so that it healed instantly [...] “But your blood is worth more than mine. Ah, that seems to have done the trick, doesn’t it?” The blazing silver outline of an arch had appeared in the wall once more, and this time it did not fade away: The blood-spattered rock within it simply vanished, leaving an opening [...] (HBP)

“The archway will have sealed again... My knife...” “There’s no need, I got cut on the rock,” said Harry firmly. “Just tell me where...” “Here...” Harry wiped his grazed forearm upon the stone: Having received its tribute of blood, the archway reopened instantly. (HBP)

This is another interesting detail in the Cave scene:

Harry saw his face reflected, upside down, in the smooth surface of the green potion. Harry hesitated, looking into the blue eyes that had turned green in the reflected light of the basin. (HBP)

Dumbledore and Harry both have their blood spilled by the “blood ward” that echoes Lily’s blood ward resulting from her murder by her “brothers; Dumbledore and Harry both also reflect the Emerald Potion symbolizing Merope’s murder by her family - a.k.a. they’re both reflecting Voldemort as Cain who regularly kills his family. This again alludes to Harry's helplessness and feeling like Cain regarding Lily's death (and Sirius, and marked to be a brother-killer due to being prophesied to kill his “brother” Voldemort, etc etc), and Dumbledore’s same feeling about Ariana.

But Dumbledore's eyes reflecting green also refers to him reflecting Lily, as Dumbledore's words while drinking the potion echoes Lily's last words:

“Don’t hurt them, don’t hurt them, please, please, it’s my fault, hurt me instead... ” [...] “Please, please, please, no... not that, not that, I’ll do anything...” [...] Dumbledore drank, and no sooner had he finished than he yelled, “KILL ME!” (HBP) “Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!” [...] “Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead —” [...] “Not Harry! Please... have mercy... have mercy... Not Harry! Not Harry! Please — I’ll do anything —” (DH)

The significance of this is double-edged, again emphasizing both of them as Cain; Dumbledore's words are about him killing his sister Ariana, and Lily's last words are the verbal agreement that kills her "brother" Voldemort.

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3.4 Significantly the Quran, in which Cain and Abel are called Qabil and Habil, is the text in which Cain shows remorse for killing Abel in one interpretation, hence why Voldemort is given a chance for remorse (there's different wording used in different translations - one uses "remorse", another "regret" and JKR incorporated both into the text).

Allah Almighty says: {Then, Allah sent a crow who scratched the ground to show him how to hide the dead body of his brother. He (the murderer) said: "Woe to me! Am I not even able to be as this crow and to hide the dead body of my brother? "Then he became one of those who regretted} // Then he became full of remorse at his doing.

Some interpreters said: "After Cain had killed his brother, he carried him on his back for a full year (not knowing what to do with his brother's corpse!)." Others said: He carried him on his back for one hundred years till Allah Almighty sent two crows who fought against one another. One of them was killed. The murderer scratched the ground to hide the body of the dead crow. Seeing him doing that, Cain said: Woe to me! Am I not even able to do as this crow and to hide the dead body of my brother? Then, he buried the body of his dead brother and covered it with earth.

Not sure what the crows refers to - maybe the phoenix cores fighting against one another. Cain carrying Abel's dead body on his back may refer to the horcrux inside Harry, or Harry's blood and Lily's protection inside Voldemort.

And with a few exceptions, whenever the word remorse comes up, it isn’t about remorse for a character’s crimes in general, it’s an (often indirect) allusion to remorse about killing a sister or brother, tying it to the Cain and Abel thread.

I’ll now go through the relevant instances the word “remorse” appears and demonstrate this:

The man with the cold voice had killed a woman. He was talking about it without any kind of remorse — with amusement. He was dangerous — a madman. And he was planning more murders — this boy, Harry Potter, whoever he was — was in danger — (GoF) After a minute or so, he looked down at Harry again, a cruel smile twisting his snakelike face. “You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father,” he hissed softly. “A Muggle and a fool... very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child... and I killed my father, and see how useful he has proved himself, in death...” Voldemort laughed again. (GoF)

While the first quote refers to Bertha Jorkins, it's meant to evoke Lily's murder (JKR does this often - i.e. sometimes there will be phrases like "a woman screamed" and it'll be about someone else but is also meant to be an allusion to Lily). Voldemort similarly talks about Lily’s murder with amusement, and he also refers to Bertha as “useful” 4 times, just like how he refers to Lily.

Voldemort had "killed a woman" evoking Lily a.k.a. Cain killing Abel, the first murder on Earth and Cain as the first murderer, and was "planning more murders", that after killing his "sister" Lily with no remorse he planned to kill his "brother" Harry.

“This discussion is getting us nowhere,” said Ogden firmly. “It is clear from your son’s attitude that he feels no remorse for his actions.” (HBP)

The above quote is about Morfin’s actions of attacking Riddle Sr, which Morfin did specifically in retaliation for Merope’s attraction to him - and then, while bragging, Morfin uses that to sell out Merope to Marvolo, leading Marvolo to nearly kill her. Thereby the true meaning of this is about Morfin feeling no remorse for trying to kill his sister.

Right after the quote about Morfin, Voldemort is referred to as remorseless:

“No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.” (HBP)

This echoes the quote about Bertha Jorkins - similar to that, while Dumbledore is literally describing Tom's actions at the orphanage, this also evokes the idea that Voldemort had a choice after killing his sister Lily, the "first" murder - to turn over a fresh leaf and not to commit more murders of his "family", not to kill his “brother” Harry too, but he doesn’t take the chance and continues to go after him.

“Yeah… Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body toward my mum,” said Harry. Slughorn gave a great shudder, but he did not seem able to tear his horrified gaze away from Harry’s face. “He told her to get out of the way,” said Harry remorselessly. “He told me she needn’t have died. He only wanted me. She could have run.” (HBP)

Notice how above it specifically says “remorselessly” when Harry starts describing the moments of Lily’s death - alluding to Voldemort being remorseless and repenting not of what he’d done in killing his “sister” Lily.

“You have no idea of the remorse Professor Snape felt when he realized how Lord Voldemort had interpreted the prophecy, Harry. I believe it to be the greatest regret of his life and the reason that he returned —” (HBP)

The word remorse is used for Snape thrice, always referring to his murder of his "sister" Lily, and the "greatest regret of his life" echoes "Then he [Cain] became one of those who regretted".

In the following quotes, notice the phrasing and how it echoes Voldemort’s destruction by the Killing Curse rebounding, and how "Remorse. You've got to really feel what you've done" echoes "Cain repented not of what he had done".

“Remorse,” said Hermione. “You’ve got to really feel what you’ve done [...] Apparently the pain of it can destroy you. I can’t see Voldemort attempting it somehow, can you?” (DH)

“My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah... pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it. I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost” (GoF) here, within sight of that house where he had come so close to knowing what it was to die… to die... The pain was so terrible… ripped from his body… (DH)

The word remorseless is again used in relation to Lily’s sacrificial protection and blood wards, resulting from her “brother” Voldemort’s murder of her, again tying it to Cain and Abel:

“— Kingsley and Mr. Weasley explained it all as well,” Harry pressed on remorselessly. “Once I’m seventeen, the protective charm that keeps me safe will break, and that exposes you as well as me.” (DH)

Then Harry feels remorse in relation to Molly, his mother figure who's a replacement for Lily:

She looked at him, a long, searching look, then smiled a little sadly, straightened up, and walked away. Harry watched as she waved her wand near the washing line, and the damp clothes rose into the air to hang themselves up, and suddenly he felt a great wave of remorse for the inconvenience and the pain he was giving her. (DH)

Molly's sad smile here evokes Lily "crying but smiling" at Harry from the Mirror of Erised (as well as Lily giving a "sad little smile" to Snape in The Prince's Tale).

Ron responded by maintaining an unnaturally somber demeanor in her presence as an outward sign of continuing remorse. (DH)

The above is Ron's remorse for hurting his "sister" Hermione, and he echoes Cain here because in the locket scene and in his jealous and hot-tempered demeanor he reflected Voldemort as Cain (see section 2.3 in Part 1)

“I regret it,” said Voldemort coldly. He turned away; there was no sadness in him, no remorse. (DH)

The above refers to Voldemort’s lack of remorse for killing his “brother” Snape.

“I picked it up, and I put it on, and for a second I imagined that I was about to see Ariana, and my mother, and my father, and to tell them how very, very sorry I was...” “He ran, while I was left to bury my sister, and learn to live with my guilt and my terrible grief, the price of my shame.” (DH) “They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends... to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow...” (DH)

Notice the phrasing here - the "horror and shame" Grindelwald felt echoes the "price of Dumbledore's shame" that's specifically about Ariana's murder, and how "feel the horror and shame of what he had done" echoes "Cain repented not of what he had done" - linking the remorse Grindelwald feels to Ariana's death, his "sister"/"sister-in-law's" death (a brother-in-law's violence to a sister-in-law is additionally explored in DH via Lucius Malfoy putting his hands on Bellatrix).

Interestingly, the Gray Lady's story about the Bloody Baron also echoes that of Cain and Abel:

“The Bloody Baron, yes,” said the Gray Lady, and she lifted aside the cloak she wore to reveal a single dark wound in her white chest. “When he saw what he had done, he was overcome with remorse. He took the weapon that had claimed my life, and used it to kill himself. All these centuries later, he wears his chains as an act of penitence… as he should,” she added bitterly. (DH)

The Baron feels remorse for killing the Gray Lady, and kills himself with the same weapon that claimed her life, just like Cain is killed by the instrument that claimed Abel's life. Additionally "When he saw what he had done, he was overcome with remorse" echoes "Cain repented not of what he had done".

The Gray Lady has many, many ties to Lily - her and the Baron represent Lily and Snape but also represent Lily and Voldemort (alluding to the thread of Cain wanting to marry his twin sister - see below), but I'll save that for another meta.

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3.5 As mentioned before, in many versions, Cain and Abel have twin sisters, and the interpretations surrounding the twin sisters vary as well. In some interpretations, Cain and Abel each have one twin sister. In others, Abel has two twin sisters and Cain one. Still in others, Abel has two sisters and Cain none. Etc.

And instead of whose sacrifice was favored by God causing the murder, Cain killing Abel is caused by them fighting over which one of them would marry their sister(s).

[...] Adam used to get the male brought by one birth married to the female brought by the other. Hence, it was supposed that Abel would get married to Cain's sister who was better and more beautiful than anyone else. At the same time, Cain wanted to keep her for himself. Adam ordered him to allow Abel to marry her, but he totally refused. [...] Later, a fire came down from heaven and consumed the sacrifice offered by Abel and left untouched that of Cain. Cain became livid with rage and said to his brother: I will kill you so as not to marry my sister

In one interpretation you could read Lily as Voldemort's twin sister and Hermione as Harry's, or else in another reading Lily and Hermione are both Harry's twin sisters, in another they’re both Voldemort’s, etc. (Something to note is that Harry and Hermione fit the twin/sibling naming patterns - i.e. Parvati and Padma, Albus Aberforth and Ariana, Amycus and Alecto, Rodolphus and Rabastan, etc.)

Locket Riddle creates a version of Harry as Cain who wants to marry his twin sister Hermione - Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione stand side by side in the mirrors of the locket like husband and wife James and Lily stand next to each other in the Mirror of Erised; they’re like trees with a common root aka on the same family tree aka cousins/“brother and sister”; they’re described as having the same hair, the same eyes, the same voice - they look exactly alike, like twins, like family.

But of course, the real Harry rejects this version:

the figures blossomed out of the locket, first chests, then waists, then legs, until they stood in the locket, side by side like trees with a common root “Who wouldn’t prefer him, what woman would take you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him,” crooned Riddle-Hermione, and she stretched like a snake and entwined herself around Riddle-Harry, wrapping him in a close embrace: Their lips met. “She’s like my sister,” he went on. “I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It’s always been like that. I thought you knew.” (DH)

And then notice how the wording in the following quote echoes the Cain and Abel passage - that “it was supposed that Abel would get married to Cain's sister who was better and more beautiful than anyone else”

“Presumption!” echoed the Riddle-Hermione, who was more beautiful and yet more terrible than the real Hermione (DH)

(This thread surrounding Hermione as the twin sister is also referred to in the Godric's Hollow graveyard scene, which I'll get into in future metas) Everything in this scene ties back to this being Merope’s locket - who also would’ve had to marry her brother, and presumably traditionally that locket's two windows would've contained portraits of Morfin and Merope.

As for Voldemort himself, he has several symbolic marriages with his "twins". The thread of Cain wanting to marry his twin sister exists with Voldemort and Lily too (highly symbolically), and with Voldemort and Ginny, which I’ll elaborate on that in other metas.

There's Snape and Voldemort as a symbolic marriage emphasized by Ravenclaw's diadem associated with Snape and likened to Fleur's wedding tiara:

He strode right up to the marble woman, and she seemed to look back at him with a quizzical half smile on her face, beautiful yet slightly intimidating. A delicate-looking circlet had been reproduced in marble on top of her head. It was not unlike the tiara Fleur had worn at her wedding. (DH) There it was, right ahead, the blistered old cupboard in which he had hidden his old Potions book, and on top of it, the pockmarked stone warlock wearing a dusty old wig and what looked like an ancient, discolored tiara. (DH)

The description "pockmarked warlock" with the "dusty wig" also evokes Snape's appearance, who isn't specifically described as pockmarked, but Elphias Doge is in DH - Doge parallels Snape in having a "pockmarked visage and greenish hue", like Snape's greasy curtains of hair and sallow greasy skin, and Doge's friendship with Dumbledore of two outsiders reflects Snape and Lily's friendship.

Snape is also connected to the diadam via this passage, while Voldemort's agonizing over losing Hufflepuff's cup, which Voldemort entrusted to Bellatrix, his symbolic "wife":

To tell Snape why the boy might return would be foolish, of course; it had been a grave mistake to trust Bellatrix and Malfoy: Didn’t their stupidity and carelessness prove how unwise it was ever to trust? (DH)

Voldemort of course doesn't tell Snape the truth about the diadem, but the wording here suggests that under other circumstances he might've trusted Snape enough and told him it was a horcrux, and it was his feelings of betrayal and fear of vulnerability after the Cup's loss that kept him from doing so.

The diadem is further linked female figures in the passage where it's destroyed:

all around them the last few objects unburned by the devouring flames were flung into the air, as the creatures of the cursed fire cast them high in celebration: cups and shields, a sparkling necklace, and an old, discolored tiara — (DH)

The cups evoke Hepzibah Smith's/Helga Hufflepuff's cup, the shields refer to Lily (see my meta "When Lily Cast Her Life As A Shield": Analysis of the Shield Charm), the necklace an obvious reference to Merope's locket, and then Rowena and Helena Ravenclaw's diadem.

Voldemort's symbolic marriage with Harry is implied in the Dracula allusions that you can read about in this post.

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3.6 Now there were born with Abel two daughters, his sisters. Then said Cain, 'I will take the one I choose, I am the eldest;' Abel said, 'They were born with me, and I will have them both to wife.' And when they fought, Abel flung Cain down and was above him; and he lay on Cain. Then Cain said to Abel, 'Are we not both sons of one father; why wilt thou kill me?' And Abel had compassion, and let Cain get up. And so Cain fell on him and killed him. From this we learn not to render good to the evil, for, because Abel showed mercy to Cain, Cain took advantage of it to slay Abel.

The following corresponds to the sentence “And when they fought, Abel flung Cain down and was above him; and he lay on Cain”:

The stairs were steep and narrow: Harry was half tempted to place his hands on stout Bathilda’s backside to ensure that she did not topple over backward on top of him, which seemed only too likely. He could not get enough breath into his lungs to call back: Then a heavy smooth mass smashed him to the floor and he felt it slide over him, powerful, muscular — “No!” he gasped, pinned to the floor. (DH) “It is over! Set him down, Hagrid, at my feet, where he belongs!” Harry felt himself lowered onto the grass. “You see?” said Voldemort, and Harry felt him striding backward and forward right beside the place where he lay. (DH)

And the below quotes is Harry as Abel showing compassion to Voldemort as Cain - and right after Harry shows him mercy, Voldemort tries to kill him:

Small and fragile and wounded though it was, he did not want to approach it. Nevertheless he drew slowly nearer, ready to jump back at any moment. Soon he stood near enough to touch it, yet he could not bring himself to do it. He felt like a coward. He ought to comfort it, but it repulsed him. “You cannot help.”

He was distracted by the whimpering and thumping of the agonized creature behind them and glanced back at it yet again. “Are you sure we can’t do anything?” “There is no help possible.” (DH)

“But before you try to kill me, I’d advise you to think about what you’ve done... Think, and try for some remorse, Riddle...” [...] “It’s your one last chance,” said Harry, “it’s all you’ve got left... I’ve seen what you’ll be otherwise... Be a man... try... Try for some remorse...” (DH)

Notice how the wording echoes Dumbledore’s - Lily’s sacrifice is Voldemort’s “one last hope for himself” and remorse is his “one last chance”, plus “Think about what you’ve done” echoes “Cain repented not of what he had done”.

Interestingly, Harry’s words here mirror Voldemort’s words to him in the graveyard in GoF, during which Voldemort’s words echo what Frank Bryce says to him:

“Is that right?” said Frank roughly. “Lord, is it? Well, I don’t think much of your manners, my Lord. Turn ’round and face me like a man, why don’t you?” “But I am not a man, Muggle,” said the cold voice, barely audible now over the crackling of the flames. “I am much, much more than a man. However... why not? I will face you... Wormtail, come turn my chair around.” (GoF)

“And now you face me, like a man... straight-backed and proud, the way your father died...” (GoF)

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Part 3 weaving the text and the Cain and Abel passage in Genesis together is coming soon.

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broomsick · 7 months ago

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Óðinn picks the sword into Barnstokkr, by artist Alan Lee

“A certain man came into the hall unknown of aspect to all men; and suchlike array he had, that over him was a spotted cloak, and he was bare-foot, and had linen-breeches knit tight even unto the bone, and he had a sword in his hand as he went up to the Branstock, and a slouched hat upon his head: huge he was, and seeming-ancient, and one-eyed.

So he drew his sword and smote it into the tree-trunk so that it sank in up to the hilts; and all held back from greeting the man. Then he took up the word, and said—

‘Whoso draweth this sword from this stock, shall have the same as a gift from me, and shall find in good sooth that never bare he better sword in hand than is this.’

Therewith out went the old man from the hall, and none knew who he was or whither he went.”

Völsunga Saga - The Saga of the Völsungs, chapter III

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two-person-job · 4 months ago

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assigning songs from my latest romance playlist to mine and my friends' selfships :}

@lexisism @milk-violet @floraldresvi

it got a lot longer than I thought. so. have fun! <3

best friend - laufey

kavexis or verali. definitely an alexis selfship. the parts that are more about how you're best friends reminds me of kavexis, but the parts that are lovingly insulting feels more reminiscent of verali

magnolia - laufey

this song is about yoimiya. or it's mizuha and it's kazuha thinking about mirei. a lot of this song feels more like poetry than lyrics?? which leads me to say that kazuha would hear it whenever he sees mirei.

death, thrice drawn - the scary jokes

baivi? verali? I can't really place this one. but. when I think selfships with lots of pining, baivi and verali come to mind!!

jeanine - the scary jokes

kavexis angst where both alexis and kaveh are feeling overwhelmed and end up kinda neglecting each other. with the line "love is just a name for you to call me by", this song talks about how though they are still acting in love, the feelings are starting to fade. it also goes into someone being emotionally absent, and not being vulnerable enough for the other. both people are stuck in a space between "I can't find time to talk to them" and "they can't find time to talk to them", and lots of conflicting "it's my fault/I shouldn't be to blame here" thoughts. one of the last lines is "just like the smote cedars in the yard, I have fallen so hard for you" which shows that yes, they are in love. yes, they adore their s/o. but. it's not a love that is gentle anymore, it's hard to live with and difficult to manage. very "I love you, but at what cost?"

starstruck - the scary jokes

this song has a permanent spot in my shroomsym playlist for a myriad of reasons!!!! firstly. sylvia is being depicted as a figure who shows enough to be admired, but never enough to be known. that's sym for a while!! and the entire song is just someone gushing and wondering about her.

no leverage / no pleasure - the scary jokes

scarayui because of the "I just can't have a normal heart" line and all that's added onto that. with all the scaramouche lore I know very little about, I believe this fits his character? loving, despite it being against his nature? but since yui isn't on tumblr anymore. this is actually really hard wait. this could lead off of the kavexis angst from "jeanine"?? i'll go with that dfjdjdfk

crushed out on soda beach - the scary jokes

shroomiya angst because. the first lines "I tried just burning the whole thing down today / but decisiveness is such a foreign tenant to my psyche" represents someone trying to break up with their partner, but being too indecisive to do so. later on in the song, it goes "you called my bluff / I love you too much / would you please stay with me? / cause after all is said and done / I want you here, stay with me!" this song is representative of wanting the end of the bad parts of a relationship, but not the good parts. it's about wanting the relationship you used to have, wanting to go back to when everything was normal and better than normal because it was beautiful. "I could hardly stand under the weight of my little crush on you" shows how much yearning can take a toll on someone.

bets against the void - the scary jokes

baivi angst this time. "these days your light beam penetrate / the sorrowed skin that i've been living in". baizhu's condition is getting worse, but vi and everyone else's love and care for him motivates him to try to be everything he could be. "but still I wait for piercing pain / i'll feel when your feelings fade / I feel so good today" he knows that all of the good he feels now is temporary. when vi's gone, or busy, or tired, or sick herself, he feels worse. but how is he supposed to push that onto her? when they both feel so good today, isn't that all that can really matter? "the sun is just a copper coin / I flip in bets against the void / imitating choice / 'til I feel good again / i'll keep them in a tin can / then i'll have copper coins to spend" baizhu's trying to find optimism in vi, in qiqi, in everyone who comes to bubu pharmacy, and he is, he really is, but it's getting difficult to find much more meaning in that optimism. he has all of the little memories from people he's known and loved and cared for, but he doesn't have much to do with them. "will you remember me / when our spirits scatter off?" will you remember him, when he can't remember you? when he isn't there? when he can't be everything you deserve? when he loses all he was? "I know I'm an artist / 'cause I just can't stand the thought / that a love as beautiful as ours / could be forgotten" he knows you'll never forget. and that's just why he wants you too. he wants you to be able to move on a live a life as amazing as it always was. but he also knows that you won't be able to do that. so he will make sure you remember your love as beautiful, and make sure to pass it on to everyone you continue to meet.

anata no koibito ni naritai - choo kyuu mei

MIZUHA!!!!! "koi ni ochite iru" THAT DAY I FELL IN LOVE! "kocchi wo mite yo!" LOOK THIS WAY! "choco yori amai! ondo de tokeru!" SWEETER THAN CHOCOLATE, YOUR WARMTH MAKES ME MELT! ik the translation is rough but!!!! KOI NI OCHITE IRU!!!! THAT DAY I FELL IN LOVE!!! KOIBITO NI NARITAI! I WANT TO BE YOUR PARTNER! I want to make a mizuha animatic of you two falling in love.. and being in love.. and that day you fell in love!

also dreszhu. though I know little about it, I like the idea of baizhu seeing dresvi and going "OMG SHES SO BEAUTIFUL" before regaining his composure lol

what will you leave behind (end titles) - max LL and maude plante-husaruk

spiritfarer is everything to me. BUT this song feels like shroomsym and baivi!! for shroomsym, sym is immortal. there is a way to become immortal with him! this song is about loss, about moving on, about grief, and about getting over it and learning how to lovingly remember instead of feeling constant grief. immortality comes with watching the death of all your favorite people, but the last line "but it's ok, we'll be together my friend" would be how sym would be there through it all.

with baivi though!!! baivi is the sort of couple that goes through and sees everything. they grow old together, watch friends come and go, watch relationships blossom and deteriorate, see the landscape around them shift and change, and learn every little thing they can, and more. they guide each other through every difficulty, every problem they may ever have. and they make their own world, out of love and beauty and patches of everyone and everything in their lives. baivi is a couple that grows old together.

hikouki gumo - yumi arai

kavexis. alexis gets to see all of kaveh's dreams up close, everything he wants and everything he does to reach those wants. hikouki gumo is the ending song of "the wind rises", about an aeronautical engineer (I think?) who falls in love with a woman with tuberculosis. though he stays with her as much as possible, she doesn't survive. however, they get to love in the most beautiful ways possible. they love in paper airplanes, they love in carefully-chosen gifts, they love in dropping everything to see each other, they love in spite of everything that encourages them not to. they love no matter what may happen. that's kavexis to me, passion and dreams and unconditional love. kaveh would do anything for alexis, and all she wants is for him to love her. "i've loved you since the wind brought you to me" is my favorite quote from that movie, and I think it suits kavexis :}

itsudemo dare ka ga - shang shang typhoon

sunvi? this is the ending song of "pom poko", and is playing during a lot of friends reuniting. I feel like sunvi is about never truly being apart, only in different places. this song talks about never forgetting the name of the people who loved you. sunvi is about remembering. remembering favorites and dislikes, anniversaries and birthdays, names and relations. everything that matters, and everything that doesn't. because if it's connected to someone you love, is anything really insignificant?

le temps des cerises - cora vaucaire

this is a song that plays in "porco rosso"! the woman that sings it in in love with the main character, though he feels as if he will never be good enough for anything. he has too much guilt about his past mistakes, and doesn't want anything bad to befall someone he cares about, so he stops caring. but she persists, and I think that's very reminiscent of a possible mizuha or pantalovi au. for mizuha, kazuha feels as if he isn't stable enough for relationships. also everything that happened with tomo, he doesn't want that to happen to mirei. but she doesn't care. all she cares for is kazuha, and that's what matters to her. slowly, she teaches kazuha that she loves him with all the risks he may see in being close to someone. as long as they get to be together, she'll be happy, and so will he. pantalovi has something similar, with how pantalone is in the fatui and all. how could that end up in safety for vi? how could he make sure she'd be ok? by not involving himself with her, is his first thought. but similar to mirei, vi is persistent! she will love freely! and he will have to learn to accept that. and he does, because he loves her. pantalone will make sure NOTHING bad ever happens to vi, who appreciates the sentiment, but once again similar to mirei, won't mind what happens as long as she is with him.

socks - out of luck

MY FAVORITE SONG FOR SHROOMIYA!!!! "what's up? how you been? / I wanna be so much more than friends!" lots of realizing you're in love and wanting to confess and not being good at telling someone you love them but trying anyways!! wanting to be with someone forever and never being forgotten and sharing things that only you and them know! yoimiya reminds me of giggling into pillows at a sleepover, and that's what this song also feels like!! failed confessions and flustered glances!!

i do adore - mindy gledhill

baivi. vi is so deeply in love with baizhu that him just asking her about her day makes her a blushing mess!!! they're different in so many ways, but not in a way that sparks argument, in a way of someone who's always cold has someone who's always warm!! they compliment each other in such a personal way, it feels as if they were made for each other!! no matter how many times vi fails at telling baizhu how she feels, or how much he means to her, he understands. he is able to tell by the absolute adoration radiating off of her, that all her words are laced with love.

sakura kiss - chieko kawabe

i put the ohshc intro on here because of who this playlist is about jhsdjh. but also mizuha kavexis and shroomiya are all couples who would shout these lyrics at a sleepover turned karaoke night. KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!

pretty girl - clairo

high school au baivi, kavexis, and shroomiya. helpless girls + kaveh who'd do anything for their favorite person.

for baivi, vi would see him in the halls, and it'd start off as just a little hallway crush. but she'd find herself constantly looking for him, trying to find out what he likes, what he doesn't, who he's close with, who he isn't. she's writing him little love notes to stick in his locker, and though she's been found doing this by a multitude of people, none have told baizhu!! she thinks. one day, one day, she'll find the courage to tell him how she feels. (and one day, one day, baizhu will find the courage to strike up a conversation with you) this could also work with sunvi + pantalovi but I think it's cuter with baivi <3

for kavexis this song fills my brain with the image of kaveh in fluffy pajamas and looking at his phone, which has a message from alexis that says something like "thank you!!" and he's blushing because SHE saw worth in HIM and thinks that HE was worth not one, but TWO. WHOLE. EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! they might as well have gotten married already!!! kaveh is so hopeless and in love with Alexis, and thinks that she's so out of his league!! but she thinks the same about him. so they're both stuck in the pining stage with a VERY annoyed alhaitham.

for shroomiya. I would do anything for her!! I'll make her snacks!! this is affection in the form of simple acts of love that are filled with adoration, mistakes made to make someone laugh, and endearing habits belonging to someone you love. I could be her pretty girl!!!

kool - meet me @ the altar

honestly? kavexis. both of them think that the other is so cool! that the other should look in the mirror and think about how beautiful they are! both are such daydreamers, and could spend the entire day just thinking about the other. but they'd much prefer being with them, thinking about them is a good temporary substitute. pining and doesn't know the other feels just like them!!

cat serenade - beetlebug

MIZUHA MIZUHA MIZUHA MIZUHA!!!!! "I've never been the kind to fall in love / it's just me and a couple of fleas and that's all I want" HE NEVER WANTED TO STAY IN JUST ONE PLACE BUT IF IT MEANS ANOTHER DAY WITH YOU HED STAY A CENTURY! kazuha slowly realizes again what it's like to find a home not in a place but in a person, and finds himself imagining all the places he'll go with mirei. he'd go fishing with mirei. go to liyue with beidou and mirei. search for flowers for mirei. everything has mirei added on, and honestly? he doesn't mind. he could use a couple more years of his life, if it means those years will be with you.

honey jet coaster - nasuo and route BLUE - yuki nakashima and kawaii dake ja nai - nasuo

shikimori intro and outro. and the shikimori-themed song. that means baivi. highschool au baivi again where everything with vi or baizhu apart of it is beautiful! everything has to be about the other, and if it's not, then they'll find a way to make it!! every single thing baizhu does is endearing. every bite of food vi takes baizhu finds himself smiling at. ik I compare you to shikimori a lot vi but I think it would be reversed? like. yes ur like shikimori. but for the Cool Person/sweetie who's madly in love with the Cool Person dynamic of shikimori and izumi, baizhu would be the shikimori. while baizhu is always making sure that vi is ok, that she doesn't accidentally hurt herself, that she isn't overworking herself, she's making sure that he doesn't have to worry!! vi's doing everything she can to take care of herself so baizhu doesn't have to constantly worry himself over her, but he still does. and whenever vi tries to bring up possibly being a nuisance to him, he shuts it down before she can get the full sentence out. he worries because he loves her. he worries because she matters to him. he couldn't imagine a world without her, and doesn't want to.

every little thing - cybergirlfriend

shroomiya and mizuha. mirei would GUSH about everything kazuha does!! his handwriting, the way his voice gets softer when he talks directly to her, the way he looks at her with a warm smile after grabbing her hand.. anything and everything she can think of!! and I'm never going to have an empty mind when yoimiya's around. it's always full of thoughts of her!!! <33

biri-biri - yoasobi

i can't say yoasobi without also saying mirei. which is why this is another mizuha song. she's waiting!! she's hoping!! she's anticipating what kazuha will say, do, and everything else about him!!! when will she see him again? what will he say next? where is he right now? when will he hold her hand again? she's always wondering!! and he always has the answer, and it's always "whenever and whatever you want".

shake & shake - sumia

this is the intro to a really weird anime that me and someone else are watching together so I put it on the playlist. anyways this is shroomiya. we'd watch the anime together and laugh at how weird and i'd teach her the choreography in the intro <3

chicken noodle - small crush

kavexis? verali? for kavexis, kaveh is the mess. nothing goes right for him, except for alexis. she's the right in his world of wrongs. when he falls in the mud, she picks him back up and cleans him up. when he loses something, she spends hours helping him find it. he's a mess, but you're the best.

for verali it's swapped. I love you alexis but from what I know of verali you'd be the mess <3 she struggles with falling asleep on time, and he texts her at exactly 10:30pm to go to bed without being prompted to do so. he brushes her hair when she forgets to. he always makes sure that her working space is clean. whenever alexis asks him why, he tells her that he's just doing the bare minimum.

signal dreams - small crush

shroomsym!! "i would rather be living in a dream / if that's the only way I could get close to you" anything for you! everything for you! dedicating your days to someone who doesn't know that you think of them the amount that you do! doing things for someone that they'll never know of! picturing yourself with someone you think will never look your way again!!! he's a dream, and i'm doing fine asleep.

freshman year - small crush

sunvi. vi getting her view on everything skewed. she's having to get used to a new life, a new place, new people and nothing she can do to make the scenario more comfortable. but sunday can do something. so he does, and makes her feel as welcome as he can. he makes sure that she is loved properly, and cared for in the way she needs to be. "but I wish I knew then what I know now" if only she always knew how much sunday would do for her. (he'd do anything)

rumblin tummy - small crush

i swear I didn't plan for it to end like this but. tbh. this fits with everyone.

shroomiya: similar feelings to socks!! i'd never waste a day if it's spent with you! <3 no emotions are useless, no words are meaningless, because they're for her. everything is about her. everything is for her.

baivi: days upon days upon weeks months years and lifetimes spent with each other. spent sighing and dreaming and falling in love too many times to count, and then falling in love again!!! finding new ways to say I love you every day, and new ways to reciprocate.

kavexis: kavexis actually really feels like a couple who has a lot of accidental synchronization!! complimenting outfits, texting each other at the same time, confessions piling over each other because you were both so adamant that the other spoke first.

mizuha: making sure that the other is always cared for. during any absence, any reason for not being together, they are both always secure and excited to see each other again. and they always do, they always, always reunite.

shroomsym: I'm never ever going to be free from him, and honestly, I don't mind. I'd waste all my time finding him, talking to him, and thinking about him while I'm not with him.

sunvi: making space for each other, making time for each other, anything to accommodate to your beloved. because that's what you are to each other. everything you do, is in honor of them. sunvi feels like the type of couple to always be intertwined with each other, when you see sunday, vi is not too far behind. when you see vi, sunday was just making his way over with a bag of food and a kiss for the crown of vi's head.

verali: though he may deny it at times, veritas lives for all of alexis' mannerisms. everything she does fills him with love. everything she says makes him so, so happy. he'd really love it if he were able to just be with her for the rest of his life.

pantalovi: he always makes sure that vi is taken care of, because that is always the top priority. vi is everything to him, and he's everything to her. how could either of them be any less? when all of their spare time is spent on the other, how could there ever be any doubts that their love is less than unconditional and absolute?

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neurolady · 6 months ago

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Ineffable May 2024 Day 6 - Apology

I finally had chance to sit down and try a little something out for Ineffable May! Ended up WAY longer than planned but I had fun writing this today. Feels great to feel creative again. Once again LOVE this fandom!

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Heaven’s elevator pings open, The Metatron turns to Aziraphale offering a leading hand and a small bow,

“After you Supreme Arch Angel Aziraphale”, in an assumed tone.

Aziraphale winces, he supposes he should like the sound of it, but it already sounds empty.

“Of course,” he replies. Then he tries, he honestly tries, to lift his leg and step out into the infinite fluorescence of Heaven’s open plan. But his eye’s sting, his heart has rooted him to the spot and most of all his lips still tingle. Everything happened so fast, he couldn’t possibly leave things the way they were - second coming or no!

“Ummm… sir… grand… The Metatron your grace” he stammers. The Metatron says nothing, but was that, did he just look - nervous.

Aziraphale takes a small breath continues “I am deeply honoured your eminence and of course I will be joining you shortly, but I must… I fear I must return to Earth briefly. You see there are… I left a little too hastily you understand,” he paused, waited to be smote.

Instead, The Metatron straightens his posture, letting out a long slightly irritated sigh and steps into Heaven, turning back he states very matter-of-factly,

“Of course, now, do not take too much time. There is much to do, and Heaven’s patience is long but not eternal. You understand,” he understands. With that The Metatron reaches over and presses the down button himself and watches Aziraphale intently as the doors close. Again, was that a flash of - fear, no! Did he look nervous?

Aziraphale dismisses the thought, his heart now thumping against his chest, mind occupied only with Crowley. Only with “you’re the bad guys”, “nothing lasts forever”, “I forgive you”, he falls against the elevator wall groans in despair. Idiot! How could things have gotten so out of hand, how had he let him walk away after their - kiss. The kiss, oh the kiss. He had never even allowed the Earthly fantasy that Crowley would actually want to kiss him. He couldn’t, knew himself too well, knew he’d never want it to stop. He touches his lips, the thought that that could have been their first and last, he can’t bear it, it won’t do. He could not return to Heaven until things between them were righted. Ping, the elevator arrives back on Earth. Aziraphale's heart sinks further remembering Crowley stood statuesque against the Bentley, how to even start?

As the elevator door opens, Aziraphale is so taken aback he is very pleased he is already leant against the wall. Standing next to a deathly anxious looking Muriel, all six feet, flame red haired, black denim clad,

“Crowley”, he exclaims surprise and pleasure singing in his voice. So overwhelmed is he to see Crowley stood there, he doesn’t even try to hold back his initial instinct. He pushes himself from the elevator wall takes two steps and gathers Crowley’s face between his hands. He only has to take two steps as Crowley who is looking equally surprised but more than anything relieved, all but falls forward swooping Aziraphale into his arms.

“Aziraphale, I…” with no chance to complete his thought, Aziraphale has locked their lips together, no panic or hesitation this time. Crowley following his lead, tightens his arms around Aziraphale’s waist squeezing their bodies together, Aziraphale softens the kiss mouths opening tongues exploring. They are taking their time on this one. When they finally part they are both watery eyed, and Muriel has learned what it is to blush.

Crowley loosens his hold just enough so that they can lean back to see each other. Aziraphale strokes Crowley’s cheek, resting a finger on the arm of his sunglasses,

“May I?”

“Mmm, of course Angel”

Removing Crowley’s sunglasses and letting his arms fall over his shoulders, they look contentedly at each other for a moment; Aziraphale desperately wants to embed those golden eyes and their warm gaze deep into his memory. Feeling somewhat uninhibited in the moment he places another quick, soft chaste kiss on Crowley’s mouth,

“That’s better,” he coos taking in Crowley’s whole face. As reality creeps back in, he lets out a small, strained sigh “you know I can’t stay, I just… couldn’t leave it that way”.

“Me, neither Angel”

“Were you?” Aziraphale gestures his eyes skyward

“Hmmm,” Crowley hums in assent, “I wasn’t going back! I had to… well… Couldn't leave... I’m not sure really,” a look of relief flashes across his face, Aziraphale chuckles understanding his relief. He suddenly remembers poor Muriel, leans slightly out of their hold.

“Were you going to take him up there, officer?”, he teases.

She simply nods nervously, still flushed, and completely overwhelmed by the crash course in humanity she is receiving from these two supernatural entities.

“She already has,” Crowley mutters knowingly through his teeth into Aziraphale’s ear.

“What!”, Aziraphale’s voice goes up two clear octaves, he would have jumped backwards if Crowley had any intention of letting him loose.

“We have much to discuss, Angel,” Crowley responds amusedly and then into a lower more serious tone, “but not now I don’t suppose.”

Aziraphale feels different tears starting to escape, but somehow being in Crowley’s arms makes anything feel bearable.

“Crowley I’m so sorry, I said things…,” Aziraphale feels guilt rushing through him.

Crowley lets loose one hand and places it over his own lips, “Shhhh shhh,” shaking his head, “Angel, there will be time for us and for apologies, but right now there is another Armageddon.”

“Yes, and this time it’s The Second Coming,” Crowley’s eyes open wide in surprise, “But Crowley,” Aziraphale continues softly, “I want you to know some things do last forever.”

Crowley smiles adoringly from ear to ear, “and there definitely are Nightingales singing on Berkley Square”, he responds cutely.

Aziraphale gives Crowley his most adorable pout and then lets out a loud and long burst of laughter. Crowley basks in the sound and the feel of it. When their eyes meet again the air has taken on a more serious tone. It is Crowley who broaches the subject,

“So, THE Second Coming then”

“Yes,” answers Aziraphale heavily, “and errrr… not much of plan yet really”.

“And they are all definitely watching both of us this time”.

“Especially now!” Aziraphale hangs his head feeling the weight of what is about to come, “one or both of us could end up…”

“smitten,” Crowley offers imitating Aziraphale’s highbrow tone, catching his eye again with a reassuring smile. Aziraphale giggles, finds that age old sense of confidence he always feels with Crowley. Crowley continues, “Look, Angel, it may or may not work out this time but how about one half of a one-half miracle, give us both some… reassurance”, he offers a hand between them.

Aziraphale catches on immediately. “But Crowley, let’s not do it with a handshake this time,” he offers coquettishly.

Crowley catches on immediately. Places his offered hand around the back of Aziraphale’s head and pulls him into a deep kiss. Aziraphale places a hand on Crowley’s face, right over his snake tattoo. This kiss feels more possessive than before. The miraculous energy and the fear of what could come next flowing between them. When they part the quiff of Crowley’s flame red hair is bordered with a bright white streak, and his snake tattoo has disappeared. He looks at Aziraphale quizzically, who leans over to look at Muriel now appearing more like a bored child waiting for her parents and smiles flirtingly,

“Best be discreet in Heaven an all.”, he leans in steals one more soft kiss and then steps back out of Crowley’s embrace. He inhales deeply as if about to speak; Crowley smiles gently and shakes his head slowly. Aziraphale takes one more step back. He is back in Heaven’s elevator, they continue smiling and staring at each other until the doors close, as he ascends Aziraphale starts nervously rubbing at the top of his inner left thigh.

#there's an apology in there somewhere #ineffable may 2024 #apology #ineffable husbands #good omens #mini fic #good omens fix it #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2

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lukedanger · 28 days ago

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Day 10: Second Chances

For @owlcatober - a former companion gets a second chance, and Arueshalae talks to her.

[Ao3 Link]

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Of all the horrors that Arueshalae had anticipated in her return to the Abyss, there was one reunion she had not expected. Perhaps if given time she might have considered the encounter with an abyssal larva bearing a former comrade’s face, or perhaps demons born from that larva. Yet in the whirlwind of preparations, the thought of meeting a former companion was far from everyone’s mind.

In hindsight, though, Arueshalae should have known better than to assume that Pharasma’s judgment erased everything. After all, Arueshalae herself had her realization by way of Desna awakening the memories of the damned souls that eventually became her. And that was without the consideration of what this mythic power would do to the process.

Arueshalae watched the subject of her thoughts: at first glance, another succubus with black bat wings and similarly colored tail, pointed ears, piercing brown eyes, and horns that had been filed down to be barely noticeable in the bangs of her long black hair that hung behind her past her shoulders. She wore a light blue half-dress over white, much as she had in life, even as the mortally feminine attire gave way to practical brown pants and boots below the hips.

Then she transformed. Not the transformation that Arueshalae knew all too well to match her victim’s desires, but shifted into an entirely new demon. An incorporeal black mass with wings black as midnight, long claws for hands, and a black fog for legs. The dress she wore also turned translucent with the transformation, staying with it. An invidiak, more commonly known as shadow demons. A demon of envy, masterful possessors, and also often servants of their Lady in Shadows.

Then the demon transformed again. The bloody red form of a babau, all traces of beauty lost as it was replaced with a horned skull-like face, a long tail, clawed feet, and slimy red skin. The dress shifted to match, and so far seemed to be holding despite the red acid. The demon’s true form, or at least the one that was victorious in a contest of consumption. Demons of murder, the sin that had defined this soul the most in life, followed shortly after by the other two.

In a way, Camellia Gwerm had not avoided the fate of abyssal larvae after all.

Camellia had her back turned to Arueshalae, the former half-elf looking in a mirror she had brought from the city below as she explored her new self. It did not take long for Camellia to return to the form of a succubus, even as she pouted at her wings and ran a hand along her forehead to make sure the horns had been filed down.

“Fascinating, is it not?”

Arueshalae looked to her right. She had stepped up to where Nenio and Woljif were keeping an eye on Camellia - or at least, Woljif had his eyes on the task. Nenio had been studying Camellia’s transformation since their first encounter, finally interested in the noble bastard after having previously shown little interest in her.

“I dunno,” Woljif admitted, “seems like a gimmick to me. I mean, don’t succubi transform already?”

“Yes, but they cannot truly impersonate other beings of the outer planes! Not without powerful magic, even in comparison to the most accomplished mortal spellcasters.”

“If you say so.”

Arueshalae folded her arms together, frowning. “Camellia has become something strange. Three demons fused together.”

“Or one being split into three - see the fey at the Battlebliss Arena as an example of the phenomenon.” Nenio put a hand to her chin. “Truly, we have stumbled upon a remarkable discovery. I am quite glad that she was not smote on the spot and that we assisted in completing Lady Areelu’s experiment!”

“Yay, we helped a shadow-babau hybrid add a succubus to the tryst,” Woljif deadpanned with an eye roll. “Honestly, as far as the chief’s ‘dumb idea but she wants to see what happens’ moments go, this is worse than studying Vang’s notes.”

“I would note that my assistant adamantly refused to recreate swarm boy’s experiments, not even seeking volunteers ready to sacrifice in the name of science!” Nenio insisted with just a bit too much regret in her voice for anyone to be comfortable. “Nonetheless, assisting rich girl has provided us with invaluable insight into Areelu Vorlesh’s research! She studied this phenomenon for its own value, but more importantly to understand the survival of the mortal ego through Pharasma’s judgment. She must be working on truly revolutionary work for rich girl’s transfiguration to be a mere stepping stone!”

“Whoo, big deal. Doesn’t tell us how they’re makin’ the mythic monsters.”

“No,” Arueshalae admitted, “but perhaps it is something we should all think about if this was not an accident.”

“Gee, thanks, like I haven’t considered what demon blood does.”

“Regardless of tiefling boy’s sour disposition, you wanted to speak to her demon girl? We were not asked to bar verbal inquiry, so by all means!”

Arueshalae nodded, inhaling. Yes, she needed to. Camellia had tried to reach out to her in life. In hindsight it was probably for horror stories to get off on, but perhaps something remained of that bond? Perhaps truly seeing life in the Abyss had convinced Camellia she had deserved her fate but now could change her ways?

Arueshalae stepped forward, flicking her tail to hit the rocky surface so it was clear she was not trying to sneak up on the new demoness. Camellia heard, turning her head partway, and then she affected a smile. The same false smile, as Daeran had put it, of a woman pretending to be enjoying herself in society. Yet within there was something genuine - Camellia was not as discrete as she had believed she was at the sight of horrors.

“So,” Camellia started, “Arueshalae. How do I look?”

“Much as you used to,” Arueshalae admitted honestly. “The tailors of Alushinyrra are as precise as I remember.”

“It helps when one remembers not only wearing the clothes, but the commissioning itself.” Camellia ran a hand around the front of her collarbone, then down her chest to admire the deft replication, then scowled. “If only the price was something other than her pleasure. But I suppose you would know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

There were quite a few things such a jab could allude to, and Arueshalae was not interested in revisiting any of them. “This is the way of the Abyss. Everything can be currency, whether you wish to spend it or not.”

“Hmmm,” Camellia noted as she glanced towards her nominal guards, just a bit too far away to hear if they lowered their voices. “Yes, it is true. Even in Charnelhome, fools wanted what satisfaction they could get. At least I was able to escape swiftly enough after my shadowy self found me.”

Camellia tried to hide it, and the Abyss had clearly been a harsh but effective teacher in such a short time, but Arueshalae could still perceive how much the experience had horrified Camellia. How must it have felt for one to technically succeed, especially for someone who was used to being on top in such an encounter? Arueshalae had her own run-ins with invidiaks, including an inexperienced one trying to take over her body, so it was not an academic question for her.

“Still, this has been an,” a pause, “educational experience. One I am eager to move past. I suspect you feel the same.”

Arueshalae blinked. Was she right? Focus! She told herself. Don’t play her hand too early. “This is not the homecoming I would have wanted, no, but we have to find the source of the mythic demons. Even all of us together could not stop an army of them.”

“I suppose not. But at least here, you are most helpful, are you not?” Camellia smirked. “Elaina must hang onto your every word and story now. More than she had, that is.”

“She needs all the information she can get. You remember what she said about knowledge.”

“Knowledge is power, a road to using it better, and so on.” Camellia sighed. “I suppose knowledge of Mireya was not enough…”

“Don’t lie. Not about this.”

“Oh please, I know full well that my secret is out. Can a girl not use sarcasm?”

“Sorry,” Arueshalae apologized as she felt her cheeks flush. “But, I know how hard it is to earn their trust.”

“Evidently not as hard as I imagined. So, where is your mark?”

“Mark?” Arueshalae asked.

“Don’t play dumb,” Camellia reached a hand to her dress, opening the top until her heart was visible. A brand had been burned there between her breasts, shaped as a sword before a sun. “A Mark of Justice. Divine retribution for misbehaving. Elaina and her holy warden friends were eager enough to brand me in private. What are a few shared secrets between demon girls marked by a paladin?”

“She never- Elaina never put any sort of mark on me.”

“Well, I suppose she must not have been powerful enough back then. Who then? Sosiel, because you want love instead of lust? Or maybe Lady Sigrun - Desna’s protege marked by Desna’s high priestess in Drezen? Arsinoe, with how you hung out by the cathedral?” Camellia ran out of alternatives as Arueshalae remained silent, still staring at the brand.

“Are- are you kidding me?!” Camellia finally snarled as she let go of her dress. “She branded me, but not you?! Why? You did far worse than I ever did!”

She was right. Of course she was: Camellia’s deeds were horrible, but her praying mantis ways (as Daeran put it) were a drop in the bucket in a place like the Abyss. Arueshalae had done far worse than Camellia ever had, and far more brazenly at that. Or was it just volume overwhelming severity?

So why does she trust me? Arueshalae wracked her thoughts as Camellia fumed, unwittingly shifting into her Invidiak form as her envy took hold. When did Elaina start trusting her? It had to be early. Was it hearing her voice in Kenabres? Maybe, or was it-

“I don’t think she trusted me,” Arueshalae finally said, “Not at first. But I think she trusted Desna. Do you remember the Song of Elysium?”

“I was there when she disappeared,” Camellia snapped back. “And when she sang it to you in that cell. Fine, so a goddess vouched for you. But then you lied about Greengates! If she brands people to keep them in line, surely that was the time to do it!”

Again, not wrong. “Then you know what I told her - that I was still thinking as a demon. Not my very being calling to lust and pleasure, seeking sex, good food, and praise, but the way we live. Perhaps she genuinely believed me then, in the honest admission of regret.”

“So what, I should have told her that I like to kill? That it is not a want, but a need. That my desire for blood was like an annoying fly that cannot be seen or swatted away?” Camellia’s form began to shift again - and again she did not seem to realize it as her skin turned red and started to secrete acidic red slime. “That I received no relief from the death of enemies in battle, but from those who believed me a friend? That to truly silence the fly for a time, I must see the disbelief and dread in their eyes as they perish? From my first puppy to men thinking with their swords?”

“Like a demon,” Arueshalae said, not catching what she had said until it was already out.

Camellia was about to snarl, fully in her babau form, but stopped herself, then took a half step back and nodded. “I suppose it was demon-like. It is something I always had - even as a little girl, even before spirits began to whisper to me. You know all too well what it means to be compelled to do something.”

“Do you still feel it?”

“Of course. I am a demon, yet the urge to kill feels no different than when I was alive.” Camellia tilted her head. “It is simply who I am, it seems. Who I was born to be.”

“You can still change, though. You have the bodies of three demons, yet you are not ruled by any of their sins. Like a mortal, you are free to choose a path.” Arueshalae took a deep breath. “I do not pretend to understand how this works, but you have a second chance, Camellia. Surely it is too valuable to waste.”

“Of course: I fully intend to prove myself,” Camellia consciously shifted back to her succubus form. “I will slay the Crusade’s enemies here in the Abyss and back on Golarion. I will prove my worth, even if I must leave when the Worldwound is closed.”

It was a repentant sounding sentiment. One that Arueshalae wanted to believe, if only because it meant that she too could find her redemption. Yet, Arueshalae knew demons all too well, and had been closer to Camellia than most of their party. The Abyss had taught Camellia lessons in how to lie, yet they were lessons Arueshalae had mastered centuries ago.

Still, there was one last piece before she was certain.

“Do you not regret the murders you committed?”

“Of course I hold regret, given the fate it delivered me to,” Camellia traced her finger along the front half of her neck, seemingly unaware of the red secretion following her finger. “But having suffered my just punishment, surely I can use this second chance to better myself?”

Arueshalae felt her black heart sink.

“You only regret being caught,” she sighed as she shook her head. “All those senseless deaths still don’t mean anything to you, do they? The hopes and dreams of the men and women you murdered, they mean nothing to you. And now you ask why you are not trusted.”

“If you get a second chance, why shouldn’t I?”

“Is that mark not your second chance? If you truly want to change, Camellia, should you not wear that mark as proof of penitence?” Arueshalae did not relent as Camellia’s scowl grew. “You knew that what you did was wrong, but you kept doing it. Will keep doing it if you are allowed back onto Golarion. If you truly wish to change, Camellia, if you truly want a second chance? You have to be willing to change yourself.”

Arueshalae took a step away, then turned away as Camellia snarled in fury but knew better than to try anything. Small wafts of smoke arose from her dress as the babau acid tested its wards.

“Funnily enough,” Nenio was saying to Woljif as Arueshalae passed, “babaus usually excrete their acid after the kill, rather than in anticipation.”

“Oh I could have gone without that thought, thank you very much!”

Arueshalae wished she could have chuckled at his harmless misfortune the way friends would, but Arueshalae was weighed down by her thoughts.

It was unlikely that Camellia would truly change. Even Sosiel and Ember felt that Camellia was not interested in redeeming herself, even as Ember noted how miserable the Abyss made her. And none of them were willing to let Camellia back onto Golarion. Even if they were willing to, though, they could not help her.

Something she had overheard the Hand say to Elaina suddenly made so much more sense to Arueshalae: that ultimate victory over the evils of the Abyss would only occur when no mortal soul willingly turned to evil, but those who tried to create such by force only became tyrants. If they wanted to drag Camellia to the light, they would have to do far more than place a conditional curse on her. They would have to take away her freedom to choose.

Camellia had her second chance. All that remained was to see whether she would truly take it to be a better person, or try to exploit it.

Much as Arueshalae hoped otherwise, she knew it would be the latter.

===

Some notes as this is a bit of a complicated idea: I have nursed the idea of Camellia showing up in Act IV as a babau if you killed her in Act III for a while. This was finally a chance to explore that, even if the full story might wait.

The basic idea is that Camellia's share of the mythic power allowed her to survive the ego death of Pharasma's judgment, so when she arrives in the Abyss she would be a fully formed demon with her personality intact. I played with the rules a bit (mythic power is absolutely doing a ton of heavy lifting here) as when discussing this with a friend who is very familiar with a canon example (Mangvhune from the Hell's Rebels AP) the idea of the sins splitting came up. One-of-Many in Mask of the Betrayer was a fun concept I never got to use as I never did an evil playthrough, so it felt like a good fit here even if it isn't technically how it usually would go.

Well, between that and the ego death averted, it seems like the thing that Areelu would look into, wouldn't it? I do want to do more with this idea eventually, but for now... here's my shot at it.

#owlcatober 2024 #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #pathfinder wotr #arueshalae #woljif jefto #nenio #camellia gwerm

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