#smiling critters incorrect quotes

[funny-critter-blog]

Kickin: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, or back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they’re a wide-eyed mess.

Picky: fuck kinda subway are u going to?

Bubba: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit

CatNap: Unpopular opinion but I’ve always preferred dubs

DogDay: I don’t think submarines have eyes?

[picky-and-corrupted-picky]

The crew playing charades

(Based on the charades game I played yesterday)

Word: Gravity Falls

Bubba: Okay, okay. Let's see.

CatNap: holds up two fingers

Hoppy: Two words.

CatNap: nods, holds up two fingers again

Picky: Second word.

Kickin': Beetlejuice?

CatNap: deadpan look

Everyone - CatNap: laughing

CatNap: sighs, then mimics falling

Everyone: confused

CatNap: places hands on hip, then does a trust fall

Crafty: Trust fall?

CatNap: mimics splitting in half and separating

DogDay: Just fall?

CatNap: nods eagerly, then draws an S in the air

DogDay: Falls?

CatNap: points to DogDay and nods again, holds up one finger

Bobby: First word?

CatNap: nods, them jumps

Bubba: Jumping?

CatNap: shakes head, then looks around

CatNap: points to apple and gestures something falling on his head

Bobby: Apple falling on head?

CatNap: smiling, pointing to Bobby and nodding eagerly, then gestures two lines going in and outward as it goes up

Hoppy: Line?

CatNap: shakes, does it again, but does jazz hands at the top

Hoppy: Tree?

CatNap: jumps up at down while pointing at Hoppy.

CatNap: gestures tree again, sits down, points to apple and then it falling on his head, then gets up and jumps.

Kickin': I... don't know.

CatNap: huffs, then looks around, picks up and object and drops it.

DogDay: gasp GRAVITY!

CatNap: pointing at him and grinning like a maniac

DogDay: GRAVITY FALLS!

CatNap: Yes! Finally!

Everyone: cheering and yelling

[maxwaspace]

Bobby Bearhug: Hoppy Hopscotch, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Hoppy Hopscotch: Well of course I have. Hoppy Hopscotch: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Hoppy Hopscotch: It's boring.

[dark-cynder49]

Hey look, I got a sudden motivation to finish some Dark Adoption au art lol.

It’s legit just an incorrect quote but it sums up the bullshit DogDay has to deal with

[gabrielapazlima]

Learning is not always fun

[awakentrashpanda]

Smiling Critters incorrect quotes

Dogday: What is the code etomologists use for "I stepped on it, I'm so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small?"

Bubba Bubbaphant: "Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions."

Catnap: "Impromptu dissection" is an alarming phrase in any context and I thank you for it.

KickinChickin: What’s biologist for "the little f⭐️cker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex?"

Bubba Bubbaphant: "The specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses."

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hoppy Hopscotch: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river. 
KickinChickin: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Hoppy Hopscotch: Nothing in life is free. 
Bobby Bearhug: Love is free. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: Knowledge is free. 
Craftycorn: Friendship is free. 
Dogday: Self-respect is free. 
KickinChickin: Everything's free if you don't pay for it. 
The Squad: ... 
PickyPiggy: Kickin, that's illegal- 
Hoppy Hopscotch: No, let him finish!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bubba Bubbaphant: Are you tall enough to play basketball though? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Are you calling me short? 
Bubba Bubbaphant: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

KickinChickin: You have Crayons? 
Craftycorn: Yes, I have— 
KickinChickin: You're— how old are you? 
Craftycorn (in tears): YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

PickyPiggy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? 
Catnap: I accidentally fell down. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: CATNAP PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent! 
Dogday: Catnap bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. 
KickinChickin: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Dogday.

💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡

Dogday: I love you. 
Catnap: How many people have you said that to? 
Dogday: Everyone. 
Catnap: What? 
Dogday: I told everyone that I love you.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Craftycorn: Why does Picky always do the laundry so loudly? 
Bobby Bearhug: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house. 
PickyPiggy, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

PickyPiggy: So Hunny-bunny, how did your first time cooking dinner go? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Pretty good if I do say so myself. 
PickyPiggy: Oo! Okay, what are we having? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. 
PickyPiggy: A whole potato? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! 
PickyPiggy: These just look like big slabs of black. 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Because that's what they are! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for desert, we have chocolate. 
PickyPiggy: These are just chocolate chips? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: They sure are! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for drinks, we have toast! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻

KickinChickin: I have a plan.

PickyPiggy: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.

KickinChickin: …

PickyPiggy: …

KickinChickin: I no longer have a plan.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

PickyPiggy: why can’t any of y’all ever come up with a plan that doesn’t involve breaking the law?

Bubba Bubbaphant (awkwardly looking over at KickinChickin and Hoppy Hopscotch): Picky…You do realize that three of us have been to prison before, right?

🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤

KickinChickin: Have I ever told you that I love you like the mom I never had? 
PickyPiggy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! 
KickinChickin: Mean.

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

Hoppy Hopscotch: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. 
PickyPiggy: 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? 
PickyPiggy: Hmf! 'Sorry' ain’t never gonna bring back my f🍎cking M&Ms.

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

Bubba Bubbaphant: What do we think of Dogday? 
*pause* 
Hoppy Hopscotch: *shrugs* Nice pal. 
Bobby Bearhug: I think he’s gay.

🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘

KickinChickin: That was so hot, Bubba. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. 
KickinChickin: I'm so in love with you.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

KickinChickin: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... 
Catnap: Only as their rodeo clown.

🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) Incorrect Quotes Part 3

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check it out here. The reader will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel. Enjoy!

Warning: Cursing

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Bobby: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Archangel: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

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Crafty: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Z: No.

Archangel: No.

Crafty: Didn't think so.

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Archangel: I've invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Hoppy, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Archangel: I was actually going to play Russian Roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

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Archangel: I found a note in one of my old logs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Captain Dogday.

Archangel: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.

Archangel: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.

Dogday: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

Archangel: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.

Dogday: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.

Archangel: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

----------

Archangel: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

----------

Poppy: Your archangel was in a fight.

Dogday: Oh no, that's terrible!

Catnap: Did they win?

----------

Dogday: Did Z just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Archangel: Yeah, he did.

Dogday: And did I just do finger guns back?

Archangel: Yeah, you did.

----------

Archangel, watching Hoppy do something stupid: Kickin, you're officially only the second highest risk here...

Kickin: Hell yeah! I'm gonna-

Archangel: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

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Archangel: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Bubba: Well, it's frowned upon.

Archangel: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier?

Archangel: That's okay, right?

----------

Bobby: And now for a gay update with Captain Dogday and Z.

Dogday: Getting gayer.

Bobby: Thank you, Captain.

----------

Bubba to Archangel: We call that a traumatic experience.

Bubba, turning to Catnap: Not a "bruh moment."

Bubba, turning to Kickin: Not "sadge."

Bubba, turning to Hoppy: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO."

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Archangel: Why do you look like that, Captain?

Dogday, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Archangel: Like you're dead.

Dogday: It's because I'm dying. Leave me here to perish.

Catnap: Dogday accidentally called Z "babe" in front of everyone today.

Dogday: *sobs into the floor*

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Archangel: What's this?

Bobby, hugging Archangel: Affection!

Archangel: Disgusting.

Archangel:... Do it again.

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Kickin: You know, (Y/n), when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Archangel: ...

Archangel: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns?

----------

*One of the many, MANY fights before the events of Fallen Angel*

Dogday: You tricked me!

Archangel: I deceived you. 'Trick' makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.

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Archangel: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Dogday: (Y/n), no.

Hoppy and Catnap: Mistlefoe.

Dogday: Please stop encouraging them.

----------

Archangel: I have a plan.

Dogday: No murder!

Archangel: ...

Dogday: ...

Archangel: I no longer have a plan.

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Archangel: If I die, you can have what little I own.

Bobby: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?

Archangel: My unending existence is fueled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.

Bobby:

Bubba, sighing: Let me call your therapist again.

----------

Archangel: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Catnap: Sleeping is nice.

Archangel: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I'm deciding to ignore it.

----------

Hoppy: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Bubba: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

----------

Kickin: So, I MEANT to say: "Oh crap, I left my phone my car," but what I ALMOST said was "Oh no, I left my cone in my phar," and damn, wouldn't that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was:

Kickin: "Ah, my fart cone."

Kickin: So, anyway...

----------

Archangel: I know you don't have to listen to me...

Z: Glad we agree on something.

----------

Dogday: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Archangel: You mean literally or figuratively?

Dogday: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

----------

Dogday: (Y/n), I am questioning your sanity...

Hoppy: I never questioned it. I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

----------

Catnap: Why is Hoppy rolling on the floor laughing? And what happened to Kickin's head?

Archangel, sighing: Kickin was about to hit his head on the door frame, so I told him to duck and he quacked at me.

Archangel: And then he hit his head.

Catnap: *wheezes*

[dreamy-starlie]

🌈Incorrect Quotes: Smiling Critters Edition🌈

I got bored and I don't have anything to draw at the moment so here's some incorrect quotes I made.

Slight Language Warning!

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Kickin: Truth or dare? 

CatNap: Dare. 

Kickin: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. 

CatNap: Hey Bobby? 

Bobby, blushing: Yeah? 

CatNap: Can you move? I'm trying to get to DogDay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kickin: There was a motor close to where I am right now. Kickin: A motor- a motorcycle? Kickin: Oh sorry, a murder. Bobby: That escalated quickly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Picky: I just wanna be called cute 21/7. 

Bobby: Why no 24/7? 

Picky: Snack breaks.

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Bubba: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you. 

Kickin: Aww, thanks— 

Bubba: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

DogDay: Oh, they left the bowl out? 

CatNap: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.” 

Picky: Nobody around though… 

*Picky grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it* 

DogDay & CatNap: NO—

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hoppy: I am strong! I beat Kickin at arm wrestling! 

Bubba: Anyone can beat Kickin at arm wrestling! 

Kickin: Hey-

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kickin: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

DogDay: What's worse than a heartbreak? 

Crafty: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. 

Hoppy: Waking up in the morning. 

CatNap: Waking up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobby: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? 

CatNap: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Picky: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bubba: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? 

Kickin: Put spaghetti in it. 

Bubba: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. 

Hoppy: Put spaghetti in it. 

Bubba: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. 

Picky: Put spaghetti in it. 

Bubba: I am no longer taking suggestions.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

CatNap, to the group: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. 

Hoppy: But how- 

CatNap, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crafty: The joy of hanging out with Picky. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and they bite the tip of a marker off.

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CatNap: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. 

Hoppy: The cow?? 

CatNap: What?

Bobby: Hoppy, W H Y?

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Bobby: Where's Kickin? Bubba: Don't worry, I'll find them. Bubba, shouting: Hoppy sucks! Kickin:, distantly: Hoppy is the best person ever! Fuck you! Bubba: Found them.

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Picky: Hey, CatNap. These candies you gave me? They sucked. CatNap: But you ate them all. Picky: I had to make sure they all sucked.

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CatNap: Wow, Doggy, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. DogDay: We literally slept together yesterday. CatNap: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

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Bubba: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous. Kickin: What if it bites me and it dies?! Bubba: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Kickin, learn to listen. Crafty: What if it bites itself and I die? Bubba: That's voodoo. Bobby: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Bubba: That's correlation, not causation. Hoppy: What if we bite each other and neither of us die? Bubba: That's kinky. CatNap: Oh my god.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kickin: I don’t want to talk about it. Bubba: Good, I don’t wanna hear about it.

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Kickin: I am a responsible adult! Bubba: *raises brow* Kickin: I am an adult.

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Kickin: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? CatNap: It’s not water. Kickin: Vodka! I like your sty- CatNap: It’s vinegar. Kickin: …What? CatNap: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

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Hoppy: Who the fuck- DogDay: Language! Hoppy: Whom the fuck- DogDay: No.

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DogDay: Where’s my chair? Bubba: Kickin broke it over Hoppy’s back while they were wrestling. Hoppy: Correction, Kickin was wrestling. I was eating soup.

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Kickin: Hey, how did my phone break? DogDay: You were drunk yesterday. Kickin: And? Bubba: You threw it. Kickin: Why? Picky: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!” Kickin: And why didn’t you stop me?! Hoppy: We were busy laughing our asses off.

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CatNap: *coughs blood* Bobby: Don't die, CatNap! CatNap: Don't tell me what to do!

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Crafty: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there? Kickin: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before. Crafty: Crafty: *sobs* Bubba: You scared them, you idiot.

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Picky: *is visibly upset* Bubba: Picky, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

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Bubba: What are the hardest things to say? Hoppy: I was wrong. Crafty: I need help. Kickin: Worcestershire sauce.

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Bubba: What are you guys playing? CatNap: Go Fish. Bubba: That’s a nice, safe game. Bubba: But don’t you need cards? CatNap: Where do you keep the spear gun?

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Picky: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? DogDay: Exercise more! CatNap: Set yourself on fire. Bubba: There are two kinds of people.

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Thats all for now. Thank you! 💖

[blues-of-randomness]

Dogday: It's a small modification for your safety, you're too young to understand.

Bubba: Excuse me but who helps you with your homework everyday?

Dogday: You of course.

Bubba: and who is the oldest of all of us?

Dogday: you.

Bubba: So, I should be the leader.

Dogday: but who did playtime co make the leader~?

Bubba: ...you.

Dogday: So who has to do what I say~?

Bubba: *Siiiiiggghhhh* Me.

[cottoncandystorm]

And how else do you suppose I carry you Dogday?

[funny-critter-blog]

CatNap: *cocks gun* Go to bed. This is no longer a request, this is now a threat.

[picky-and-corrupted-picky]

MORE SMILING PSYCHOPATHS INCORRECT QUOTES!!!!!

@protective-mama-bear @smiling-psychopaths

[ashscharmander]

Incorrect Smiling critters quotes

CatNap : Do you even know what an amulet is?

Picky: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

CatNap : Picky, those are omelettes.

Picky: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

~

Hoppy, dramatically: They called me a fool.

Kickin, sick of Hoppy's shit: They weren’t wrong.

~

DogDay: It’s beautiful outside this morning!

CatNap : It’s 2AM.

DogDay: It’s Beautiful outside!

Bubba: We’re indoors.

DogDay: It’s beautiful!

Hoppy: It’s storming.

DogDay: It’s!

~

Hoppy: There is no i in happyness…

Bubba: There is if you fucking spell it right.

~

Bubba: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person?

Kickin: Half-full, definitely.

Kickin: Half-full and constantly rising.

Kickin: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

~

Bubba, to DogDay: I mean, I get complimented all the time-

Kickin: *starts cackling*

Bubba: I do!

Kickin: *laughs harder*

~

Kickin: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

~

Bubba: You’re giving me a sticker?

Kickin: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Bubba: I’m not a preschooler.

Kickin: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Bubba: I earned this, back off!

~

Picky: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?

Hoppy: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.

Picky: How so?

Hoppy: It makes holes.

[gabrielapazlima]

agressive support

[thefoolishone666]

Incorrect Quotes from the smiling critters X persona AU I am working on...Mostly cause I am bored.

~~~~~~

Kickin: I can finally drive! Wahoo!

Dogday: Kickin, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Don't feel bad. Alot of people don't pass their test the first time.

Kickin: I passed.

Dogday: You will get the next ti-What? You did? Really? Wow. Really?

Bubba: Hey Kickin, too bad, but I mean, maybe if you studied-

Kickin: I passed.

Bubba: You are going to be driving? Great. (Pulls Dogday aside) Are we sure this is a great idea?!

Crafty, bringing a handmade gift: I made this to cheer you up.

Kickin: I passed.

Crafty: I will save it for your report card.

~~~~~~

Bubba: I will have you know ma'am, that I studied under Mr. Karma. He threatens to murder to me everyday.

Karma: (Holding a bat in the corner)

Bubba: Like that.

~~~~~~

Bobby, winking: So what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?

Dogday: You ask the guy behind the counter then exchange money?

3 Days Later

Dogday, fixing uniform:...WAIT A SECOND-

~~~~~~

Hoppy: How long have you been standing there!?

Kickin: Don't try it. You know the concept of time confuses me.

~~~~~~

Catnap: We need a way to get inside...Oh! Bubba, give me your credit card!

Bubba: Just try not to bend it.

Catnap: Thanks! (Pockets the card) Kickin, bust down the door!

Kickin: (Shoulder barges the door down)

~~~~~~

Bubba: Were you flirting with me!?

Picky:...Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

~~~~~~

Bubba: Or, as they say in the theater, "Fracture a Femur."

Catnap: What?

Bubba: The actual saying is "Break a Leg," but I improved it!

Catnap: I hate both of those equally.

~~~~~~

Catnap: Wh-what is this!?

Bobby: Something your father clearly never gave you. A hug.

~~~~~~

Kickin: I am a Tank player, so I am always north!

Bubba: And I am Dragoon player, so I am always on the floor!

Catnap: And I am Catnap, nice to meet you.

~~~~~~

Dogday:...I am very bad at this am I?

Hoppy: Yeah...Bunzo is never going to find out where are dating.

Dogday: OH THAT'S WHAT WE ARE DOING!?

~~~~~~

Kickin: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

~~~~~~

Dogday, referring to Catnap: My favorite person in the world, and my wife!

Bobby:...My whole life.

~~~~~~

Crafty: You stalked a man.

Kickin: No, a boy! He's a young boy! And WE stalked him as partners.

~~~~~~

Hoppy, referring to the boys: Let's find that idiot, that psycho, that douchebag and Kickin.

~~~~~~

Bubba: You know what your problem is?

Dogday: I have more then one?

~~~~~~

*Catnap and Crafty texting*

Catnap: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.

Crafty: Isn't Hoppy there?

Catnap: Yes but I like you more.

~~~~~~

Hoppy: I have very high standards, you know.

Picky: I can make spaghetti.

Hoppy: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

~~~~~~

Picky, holding a phone: You guys can't connect without these. You use emoticons instead of emotions. Y'all an unfeeling generation of Zombies!

Dogday and Catnap, putting their heads together: (Starting growling and pretending to eat each other's brains)

Picky: Stop eating him.

~~~~~~

Crafty: Excuse me sir, may I give a different perspective?

Bubba: Of course Crafty save me. Did I go too far?

Crafty: Always sir.

~~~~~~

Shadow Catnap, coming in with a starbucks in hand: Good evening everyone. I would ask what did I miss, but I probably know more then all of you combined.

~~~~~~

Catnap: Did you take out Bubba as I requested?

Picky: Bubba has been taken out, yes.

Catnap: You have my grat-

Picky: It was a great restaurant.

Picky: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Picky: Bubba proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel 50 Incorrect Quotes Special

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character Z belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 here. You, the reader, will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel.

Right now, I need to focus on writing my thesis paper, so I'm not sure when Part 3 will be posted. In the meantime, enjoy this crackfic as an Easter present. Some quotes will contain slight spoilers for future chapters. 😉 Enjoy.

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*During a training session*

Hoppy: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!

Archangel: At least TRY to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Kickin: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!

Archangel: *Facepalms* Somehow, that was worse...

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Bobby: Are you having another depressive episode?

Archangel: A depressive episode?

Archangel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

--------

Z: What's wrong with you?

Archangel: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

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Crafty: How’s training going?

Archangel: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

Crafty: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.

Bobby: ...you shouldn’t be condoning this.

Crafty: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

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Archangel: Yesterday, I overheard the Captain saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hoppy replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

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Archangel: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

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Archangel: raises eyebrows

Dogday: Put those back down!

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Archangel: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Kickin: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Bubba: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Hoppy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Picky: …put it away.

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Picky: One time I went to hand (Y/n) a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

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*Preparing for a mission*

Hoppy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Catnap: It's (Y/n)'s turn.

Archangel: Don't die.

Kickin, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

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Archangel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Kickin: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Archangel: Fair point.

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Dogday: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

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Archangel to Bubba: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

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Dogday: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Z: Yes.

Dogday: I love you.

Z: It back.

*Later*

Archangel: Why is the Captain crying face-down on the floor?

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*the Space Riders at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Crafty, Bobby, Bubba, and Picky: *spinning a little and talking*

Dogday, Catnap, Kickin, and Hoppy: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

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Hoppy: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Dogday: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Catnap: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Kickin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Archangel: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

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Archangel: This is a bad idea.

Hoppy: Then why are you coming along?

Archangel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

----------

Archangel: I feel awful about killing you.

Z:

Archangel: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

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Dogday: Hoppy, don’t go picking a fight with (Y/n). Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.

Hoppy: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

----------

Dogday: I’m so happy both angels are getting along now.

Catnap: Uh, Z and (Y/n) are not getting along.

Dogday: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Catnap: You may have a point.

----------

Archangel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Picky: Was Kissy's place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

----------

Kickin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Archangel: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

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Archangel, proudly: I slept.

Catnap: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

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Archangel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Hoppy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Dogday: I'm leaving and I'm taking Catnap with me!

Bubba, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

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Poppy: It’s funny how well you and the Archangel get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?

Dogday: (Y/n) hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

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Bobby: lifting weights

Kickin: Wow… She's so intense!

Archangel: I wonder what drives her.

Bobby, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

----------

*First two chapters of "Fallen Angel" summarized*

Archangel: I'm allergic to death.

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Archangel: Hoppy, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Hoppy: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

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Hoppy: (Y/n), what are you doing tomorrow?

Archangel: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

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Archangel: Someone will die.

Dogday: Of fun!

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Something crashes

Hoppy: Shoot-

Bobby: running into the room in a panic WHAT FELL?!

Archangel: walking by the room calmly What died?

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Archangel: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kickin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

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Someone with a gun to Archangel's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Archangel: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

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Catnap: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.

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Z: When did you become a hero?

Archangel: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.

Z: You’re the last person in the galaxy I wanted to rescue me.

Archangel: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

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Bubba: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Hoppy, bored: Can’t we just leave while he's distracted?

Archangel, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Hoppy: I hate you.

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Archangel: I am convinced the Captain and Catnap share a brain cell.

Archangel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

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Archangel: Why am I the bad guy?

Kickin: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

----------

Archangel: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Z: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

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Kickin: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Picky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Crafty: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Bubba: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Bobby: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Archangel: I have emotional scars.

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Dogday: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Archangel: A stab wound.

----------

Archangel: I sense hostility.

Z: Good, because I hate you.

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Archangel: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Hoppy: This is light?!

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Archangel: What’s up with the Captain? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Bobby: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Archangel: Why?

Catnap: Z smiled at him.

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Literally anyone: Go to hell!

Archangel: Where do you think I come from?

----------

Hoppy: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Archangel: All the time.

Hoppy: Then you should be used to it by now.

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Archangel: I’m so tired.

Bubba: Did you get to bed late?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Did you do something strenuous?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Then why are you tired?

Archangel: I’m alive.

Bubba: Sounds exhausting.

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Archangel: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

----------

A cult member: Didn't you die?!

Archangel: That was weeks ago. Things change.

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Archangel: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Dogday: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.