#sm rookies angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jamminvroomvroom · 9 months ago

Text

no more mister shy guy.

OP x fem!reader

in which you can’t work out why he just won’t sleep with you

i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and i’ve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3

songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo don’t do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff

2.8k words

you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you don’t think he knows how pretty he is.

oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.

he’s bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. he’s no longer the scrawny, anxious guy you’d met at your fathers work event a year ago, he’s broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.

oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. you’ve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. you’d travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and you’d said yes to dinner before he’d even finished asking the question.

it’s february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and you’re sad to see him go, as if you won’t be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way you’ll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.

but then again, it can’t be worse than the way you ache for him now.

“sweetheart?” oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise he’s been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. “you okay?” he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.

“yeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why won’t you have sex with me?” you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what you’ve just said.

oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, he’s so gorgeous! and you didn’t want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.

you’d wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and you’d revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need to be… dealt with. urgently.

“i- um- what?” oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.

“is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?” you whisper, shy. “do you just not… like- do you not want to do that?” you ramble.

panic fills his face, and he’s rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. they’ve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.

“baby, no, god no.” he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasn’t you. “you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.” he promises. “i’m just… it’s scary.”

“oh, osc.” your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, i’m scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.”

“you didn’t make me feel pressured, i’m just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but i’ve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i won’t be good enough for you.” he murmurs.

you’re hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable he’s being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.

your hands smooth over his shoulders, until you’re softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.

“i love you. insanely. we’ll go slow.” you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise it’s for leverage, because the next thing you know, you’re in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and he’s kissing you so, so deeply that you’re dizzy. you don’t realise that you’re halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.

“i don’t wanna go slow anymore.”

oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.

he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.

“i need you, osc. i trust you.” you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. it’s not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, “want you inside of me so badly.”

the elastic band snaps and he’s on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.

“just wanna make you feel good.” oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.

“take these off.” you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.

painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where you’ve soaked through your panties. you’re panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.

he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as they’ll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you can’t believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.

“oh my god.” you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way he’s sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. you’d be blushing a deep red if you weren’t so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once he’s done with you.

you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.

you cum faster than ever, and he’s mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. you’re riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesn’t thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces it’s way out.

you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesn’t let up. he’s hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and you’re begging him. for what, you’re not sure, but you’re whimpering his name like you’re going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.

his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. that’s when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.

“oscar!” you try to warn him, but it’s too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldn’t be able to please you makes you squirt.

he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.

“holy shit.” you cry. you’re staring down at him like you’ve gone insane. he’s smiling innocently.

“was that good?” he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.

“are you… are you serious?” you rasp. oscar just shrugs. “get up here.” you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.

oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.

“please, oscar, fuck me.” you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.

“fucking love you.” he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.

“i love you.” you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you can’t help but stare. oh, it’s big.

his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure it’s okay to touch, and he’s rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.

“you ready for me?” he asks through gritted teeth.

“please.” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “however you want me, ‘m yours.” you breathe.

oscar’s eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then he’s pushing home, slow and deep.

“fucking hell.” he groans, guttural. you’re so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.

“oh.” you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. he’s so deep. “so full.” you pant.

“can you take it, sweetheart?” oscar’s lips bump your jaw. “want you to take it.” you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.

“move.” you plead. he’s staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.

oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.

“good?” he hisses, trying to keep composed. he’s finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.

“so good, so good.” you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.

“so pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.” he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like he’s never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.

the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.

“baby, what’s wrong?” oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.

“no, no, no, keep going.” you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. “it’s so good. feel so good.” you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.

he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didn’t think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didn’t even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if he’s trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.

thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; he’s wound your body up perfectly and you’ve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.

“can feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ‘n then i’m gonna fill you up.” oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscar’s filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.

you think you scream, you know that you’re sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally let’s go, it’s the most beautiful fucking thing you’ve ever seen. it’s surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. he’s muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.

“gonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. can’t live without this now. fucking perfect.” he’s rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.

“fuck.” you giggle, breathless.

“good?” he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.

“more than worth the wait.” you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. “you better not hold out on me ever again though.” oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.

“you promise?” there’s the shy guy again.

“osc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.”

“only if you behave for me.” he smirks down at you.

“there he is.” you sigh happily.

when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess he’s made, and then some, you wonder just what you’ve unleashed.

whoops? lol

taglist

@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789

(run outta space on my taglist lol, lemme know if u wanna be added or removed)

5K notes · View notes

maplesyrupsainz · 11 months ago

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙just say yes | CS55˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: father!carlos sainz x y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: so much fluff 0 angst just lovey dovey cuteness & fun ! idek if there's much of a plot tbh lol

summary: in which you, your boyfriend and your daughter are the target of everyone's jealousy & you bask in it 😊

a/n: hiii i luv this request so cute & i havent done any carlos fics yet!! i love it he's soo beautiful fr! i've done the baby faceless tbh i felt a bit weird looking for pics hahahah anyway hope u like it 😊😊

request!!!: Can you do like a smau where carlos has a daughter and it's just fluffy as HELL !! And ofc we need lando and charles being goofy in the comments!

fc: various blonde girls from pinterest

my masterlist

instagram ->

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 682,674

carlossainz55 vacationing with my girls

view all 11,356 comments

yourusername im soo lucky

carlossainz55 that's me actually. i love you

yourusername i love u!! sm more

landonorris you guys are always rubbing your perfect lives into our faces it has to stop

charles_leclerc i agree it is too much now

yourusername maybe if either of you could keep a girlfriend you could be like us

landonorris cant commit

carlossainz lando you need to grow up

charles_leclerc leave him alone he's a baby

yourusername i prefer the term pussy 🤷‍♀️

landonorris y/n i thought we were friends

yourusername we are it's called tough love

carlossainz55 sorry lando but she's right

user1 i missed carlando interactions

user2 me too so happy to see the carlando domestics continuing through instagram comments

user3 even funnier with y/n involved she's literally just an extension of carlos i love it

user4 best couple in the world

user5 only couple in the world more like

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 218,426 others

yourusername he wont even put the ferrari merch down in the off season

view all 4,189 comments

yourbff omg baby in ur sunglasses she's fr a mini u 😭😭

yourusername i know, i've never felt love like it 🥹

carlossainz55 me when i look at you

yourbff take your sickly sweetness out of my replies 🥲

user6 i love how all their friends are jealous of them too😭😭 it's not just us

charles_leclerc he's dedicated 😊

carlossainz55 thanks for being on my side charles 🙏

yourusername ur biased

yourusername gosh why are f1 drivers so annoying

landonorris i know you're not talking about me

danielricciardo or me

maxverstappen1 or me

yourusername well i actually wasnt but now i am

oscarpiastri me?

yourusername no never you oscar my fav rookie

yourbff

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 121,376 others

yourbff babysitting duties

tagged: yourusername, carlossainz55

view all 2,893 comments

carlossainz55 am i in trouble in that pic of us

yourbff she was explaining to u that u brought the wrong pickles home for her

carlossainz55 so yes then

landonorris wtf is the wrong pickles a pickle is a pickle

yourusername shutup little lando you dont understand me

charles_leclerc well duh ur a woman his pea brain cannot comprehend women

yourusername ur one to talk!

landonorris 🤐🤐🤐

yourusername ur her favourite aunt!!

yourbff @.yoursister told you so!

yoursister wow that hurt y/n

yourusername no wait

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, and 302,748 others

yourusername happy first race of the season i love my boys so much

view all 8,883 comments

scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55

user11 omg i love her

user12 this is the cutest post ever

charles_leclerc omg y/n being nice to me

yourusername it's the hormones and ur cute face getting to me ur soo pookie

charles_leclerc what is pookie

oscarpiastri dont ask

yourusername it means i love u 😊

carlossainz55 we are all so lucky to be subjects of y/n's affections so don't question it ok?

user13 omg carlos is so down bad lol it's adorable

landonorris come visit us too we miss you y/n

yourusername well i might. can i squish ur cheeks?

landonorris i'll think about it

yourusername im not coming till i have a yes for sure

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, scuderiaferrari, and 121,847 others

user14 CHILDREN?? PLURAL??

user15 yes y/n we get it ur the luckiest girl alive

yourbff purrrrr

yourusername LOL??

landonorris share him? 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername not a day in my life

yourusername now let me come squish ur cheeks. charles let me do it

landonorris ok fine.

yourusername YAYYY

user16 most gorgeous man alive fr

yourusername posted a story

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 98,183 others

carlossainz55 come back here

carlossainz55 please come back we miss you

charles_leclerc not you sneaking off. is carlos annoying you too??

yourusername you are too mean to that boy!!!!

mclaren you can stay with us!

yourusername poachers!! im much too loyal

user17 omg lol im obsessed

user18 SOO CUTE

f1wags

liked by carlossainz55, user6, and 73,294 others

f1wags carlos after the race with his longterm girlfriend y/n y/l/n today 🥹

tagged: carlossainz55, yourusername

view all 3,935 comments

user19 she needs a ring asap

user20 r how long have they been together now??

user21 like 8 years lol

user22 carlos liked 🥹🥹

user23 they r so personal to me

user24 do u think they know how much everyone loves them & is jealous of them

user25 absolutely & they love it lol

user26 if they ever break up im done with love

user27 idk who's luckier her or him

user28 they're the definition of soulmates

user29 the world will stop on their wedding day fr

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, yoursister, and 728,193 others

carlossainz55 my perfect family

view all 13,438 comments

user30 stop it 😭😭😭

yourusername how did we create somebody so gorgeous😭

landonorris not you asking this as if you both aren't the most conventionally gorgeous people to ever exist

yourusername HAHAH shutup lando you are always slithering around to ruin our sincere moments

landonorris SLITHERING?!

user31 omg slithering 😭😭😭??

user32 lol at lando's comments he's like us

charles_leclerc let me babysit soon

yourbff why you coming for my job

carlossainz55 dont fight over my child

yoursister miss you guys!!

carlossainz55 we will have to come visit soon

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

user33 put a ring on it carlos

liked by yourusername

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, yourbff, and 231,023 others

yourusername night off from baby

view all 6,173 comments

yourbff everyone in the world is in love with you

carlossainz55 right well they need to back off

yourusername tehehe

user37 wow she's unreal

user38 wifeee

carlossainz55 you are so beautiful

yourusername 🥹🥹🥹 i love u

carlossainz55 i love you

landonorris Y/N?? YOU DIDNT INVITE ME??

yourusername ...girls night

landonorris BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY IM ONE OF THE GIRLS

charles_leclerc i wasn't invited either mate

yourusername im so sorry. you guys are grown men though

landonorris no im one of the girls

user39 one of the girls 💀

user40 i love lando & y/n's friendship so bad

carlossainz55

liked by yoursister, yourusername, and 733,984 others

carlossainz55 our week off so far

view all 17,293 comments

user41 i want her

user42 join the club

charles_leclerc is y/n available for brunch tomorrow

carlossainz55 yes

yourusername i am?

charles_leclerc that is fantastic y/n we will pick you up at 11am

yourusername we?

charles_leclerc yes!! see you then

yourusername ?? WHAT

yourbff aww i love my y/n

carlossainz55 yours?

yourbff yes she is mine! tyvm carlos

yourusername hahahahaha

yourusername i love u both

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted stories

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 334,756 others

yourbff pretty pretty girl

yourusername yup

carlossainz55 i told you you'd enjoy yourself 😊

yourusername yup

user43 omg the brunch with charles?

user44 so effortlessly cool

user45 looks delicious tbh. you not the food

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by carlossainz55, yourbff, and 123,284 others

user46 brunch & then the beach??

user47 hmmmm

user48 wuu2

user49 charles forcing her to brunch & then this???

carlossainz55 posted a story

liked by yoursister, landonorris, and 892,293 others

yourbff 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

user50 MY PARENTS

yoursister AHHH!!!!!

landonorris heeheehee

charles_leclerc ur welcome mate

user51 OMG FINALLY

user52 OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

user53 OMG IT'S REAL!!!!

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 792,673 others

yourusername luckiest girl alive

tagged: carlossainz55

view all comments

landonorris congratulations parents

yourusername aww love u our little lando

charles_leclerc congratulations beauties

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55

yourbff my gorgeous girl with her beautiful daughter and some guy

yoursister the most beautiful amazing woman you've ever seen and then.....carlos

yourusername mean girls!!

carlossainz55 no they're right perhaps?

user54 LOL barbie & ken vibes

danielricciardo CONGRATULATIONSSSS 🥳

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55

lewishamilton congratulations ❤️

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55

user55 😭 so happy for them

user56 im obsessed with them.

user57 best couple on the grid period

user58 the most beautiful family ever. SO JEALOUS!!!

THE END ❤️

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 x reader #smau #carlos sainz #cs55 #cs55 x reader #cs55 imagine #ferrari #cs55 fluff #maddie's smau

2K notes · View notes

xxchumanixx · 2 months ago

Note

Hiii! If its not much trouble could I request a tim Bradford and reader fic where she's really shy and sensitive, but still diligent at work and his rookie? He usually had a soft spot for her bcs he has a crush on her but she messes up a case and gets yell at by him?? Calls her a crybaby and all?? But later he comforts her and confesses? Maybe she thinks he likes lucy up until that point?? Just a lot of angst filled with pining and fluff! Thanks sm and I love your workk💕

Headrush

Tim Bradford x fem!reader

Warnings/Tags: language! (Shut up, Steve), fluff, hurt, angst

Word count: 2.523

Authors note: Oh my god, it's been so long, I'm so sorry! Thank you a lot for your request! I really liked the idea and I hope you'll like how I wrote it.

Lots of love! ❤️

Please, as always

Enjoy!

"Shit, shit, shit!" you cursed under your breath, biting your lip as your fingers anxiously fiddled with the belt on your hips.

This was not how this case was supposed to go.

Not at all.

It was like a damn domino effect - one thing went down the hill, and so did the rest one after another.

A whole fucking shitshow.

That your suspect was lying dead on the street was just the cherry on top.

He had tried to run from you, not watching where he went. You tried to warn him, yelled that he should watch out, when a car hit him, and sent him flying over the street.

Tim stood beside you, eyes wide and mouth agape, not really believing what he saw. He wasn't sure whether to yell at you, comfort you, or just get back in the car.

He gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists. He usually was softer with you, than he was with other rookies he had.

You just didn't know that he harbored feelings for you that went far beyond being your TO.

A conflicting thing, really.

"You-" he started, cutting himself off, eyes flying over the scene. The dead man on the floor, the shocked civilians all around you.

The poor woman that drove the car that hit the man.

The ambulance covered the man with a sheet, calling the coroner.

That was what snapped him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tim spoke up, rasing his voice as he looked down at you. "What the hell did you think?" You flinched at his tone, some of your usual shyness and sensitivity shining through.

Tim bit his cheek, so hard he almost drew blood.

He felt bad, sorry even.

To yell at you was one of the things he wanted the least, but he had no other choice if he wanted you to be successful.

At least, that's what he told himself.

"Sir, I-" you wanted to defend yourself, but he didn't let you. Once he was in that stage of rage, it was hard to see an escape through the fog.

"No, of course you did not!" he went on, the look on his face both terrifying and breaking you.

To ever think you'd stand a chance with the man yelling down at you seemed like the stupidest thing in the world suddenly.

"How could you let him get this far?" he continued to rage, seemingly not caring about the people around you that started to watch the commotion. "You should have stopped him!"

You swallowed, a bitter pill you'd forced upon yourself by letting the suspect get this far. That you'd fallen pretty badly along the way, most likely spraining your ankle, wasn't important anymore.

Who knew if he'd even seen it?

"I- I'm sorry." you breathed out, doing your best not to lose your face in front of him. The day had started bad, and it got worse the longer it went on. "I shouldn't have let him get this far."

Tim scoffed, hands fisting his belt as he looked around you. "I shouldn't have let you handle this on your own." he spoke, voice a mix of regret and spite. "I should have known better."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut.

You knew you were ready, and damn he knew it, too. Mistakes were normal, no matter how long you were doing the job already. But with your last week as a rookie rolling around, he pushed you more and more beyond your limits.

You felt tears burn in your eyes, the ugly tugging sensation in your jaw when you tried your very best to hold them back.

But Tim had already seen them.

His head tilted in disbelief, eyes widening before they narrowed.

Not a good sign.

"Are you gonna cry?" he asked, voice full of disbelief. "Are you kidding me? What are you? A fucking crybaby?"

Told you so.

You cleared your throat, cheeks burning in shame.

"No, no, of course not." you mumbled, trying to steady your voice. Tim tilted his head more, sending you a look that told you to repeat yourself. "No, I'm not crying." you repeated louder, looking up at him.

To say his behavior hurt was an understatement.

"Get in the car." he hissed, motioning at the shop. You nodded, doing as he told you without protesting.

It wouldn't have done you any good, anyway.

Moral of the story suddenly played in your head, and you couldn't help but think how right Ashe was, as you climbed into the passengers seat.

You had learned a lot about Tim the last year, yet he surprised you with how cold and harsh he was right now.

You should have never let your stupid crush get out of hand like this. Maybe to be hurt like this, to be talked down by him like that - maybe that was your moral of the story.

Like they said: Never fuck the company.

Not that you and Tim had gotten physically close somehow, but that didn't stop your mind from imagining sometimes.

You just were glad you experienced him like this before anything could have happened.

Not that you had much faith in that, anyway.

____

You let out a sigh, as you finally made your way out of the station.

It had been a long day, maybe the longest of your life. After driving back you had to wait before being questioned about the incident. It went on for nearly two hours, in which they decided you weren't responsible for the suspects death.

Yes, he had run from you, but it was his own decision, and you had tried to warn him.

You body-cam proofed it.

You hadn't seen Tim since you'd gotten out of the shop, silently thankful for it.

You didn't know if you'd been able to endure another round of his scolding today without actually breaking down.

Seeing Lucy though, only pressed on your sore nerves more. Yes, you liked her as a friend, but the thought that Tim seemed head over heels for her warred with that.

Only a fool wouldn't see.

The cold night air hit your skin, effectively cooling it down and clearing your head a little. You hoped to get home and fall in bed, only waking up again when you would have forgotten this day.

But someone seemed to have other plans.

"Y/N, wait!" he called out after you, and you only then noticed that his car was still in the almost empty parking lot.

You debated whether to ignore him, act like you didn't hear, but your consciousness said otherwise. You turned around as he stopped in front of you, silently cursing yourself for being such a good person.

He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, lips parted, like he didn't expect you to actually wait. "Listen," he then started, brows furrowing slightly as his gaze drifted away for a brief second. "I didn't mean to be so harsh on you back there."

You frowned, blinking a few times in confusion. Was he a-

"I'm sorry."

You didn't know what to say, now at a loss for words yourself. "I- i'ts okay." you then said after finding your voice, biting your cheek. "You lectured me, and it's not like it wasn't justified, sir."

He gritted his teeth, you could see even in the dim streetlight.

"No, that was too harsh." he gave back, shaking his head, frown deepened. "It wasn't your fault he was hit by the car. You tried to warn him and he didn't listen."

You pushed your bottom lip forward, not sure where his sudden change in mood came from. "Look, sir-" you started, but he cut you off. "Stop that." he demanded, the frown on his face bordering on angry now.

Your lips parted in confusion, not sure what you did wrong now.

"Stop calling me sir." he said. "We both know that's needless. It's not like- I mean, you're one week away from becoming a p2. We both know you'll make it with flying colors. Call me Tim."

He was selfish, he knew it.

But if it meant he'd hear his name from your mouth even once, he'd do anything. He didn't know yet if you'd choose to stay after graduation, and he'd have to take what he got.

He was in way too deep.

You swallowed before you nodded, gaze meeting the ground. Your teeth maltreated your cheek, not sure how to react.

"I've never- I've never seen a dead person like this before." you suddenly spoke, looking back up at him. "I didn't know where my head was, and you yelled at me. I was overwhelmed."

It just bubbled out of you. Maybe the dim lighting made you bolder.

"That's not me." you continued, shaking your head. "I- I'm tidily, I always make sure to give my best, it just-" Without you noticing, tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you gasped for air.

Tim's own eyes widened, as he realized you were about to panic.

He closed the distance, wrapping his arms around you.

It was pure instinct, every nerve in him telling him to hug you, to comfort you.

To not make him see you cry.

He couldn't.

"It's okay." he spoke softly, as your fingers fisted the material of his jacket. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

You couldn't help the tears from flowing, not when he held you like this, doing his best to make you feel better.

"I should have known." you sobbed, pushing the shame for crying onto his jacket aside for now. "I wasn't ready."

He shooed you, one hand carding through your hair.

He knew if someone saw you two, this would have ended badly.

But he couldn't bring himself to care.

"You are ready." he gave back. "More than ready. I've seen you out there, you always have yourself under control. You're diligent, something that not every rookie is. You may be shy, and maybe a bit sensitive, but that's something good. You know how to talk to people, you understand them. And I know this wasn't your fault. You did your absolute best, and that's exactly what I told them back there."

You swallowed, cheeks heating up at his words.

You didn't expect him to be so open and soft with you.

"You- you really think that?" you asked, sniffing as the tears slowly subsided. He chuckled softly. "God, you have no clue." he mumbled, gaze flitting over the dark parking lot.

You frowned, not sure what he meant. But before you could have asked, he continued on his own.

"I'm not good at this emotional stuff." he said with a huff. "But you are. And I'm grateful for it, I really am, because I learned to get better at it, because of you. And I'm supposed to be the TO here, not you."

You chuckled, not having expected him to learn something from you whilst training you.

"You should talk to Lucy, then." you suggested, the thought jabbing at your heart. But if he wanted her, he'd be prepared for the emotional talk now, then.

Tim frowned, looking down at you with confusion. He gently pushed you away enough to look in your eyes.

"What do you mean?" he wanted to know, trying to make out what you were telling him. Your cheeks heated up, but you knew there was no turning back now.

Might as well reap what you've sown by digging into his personal life.

"I mean that you can tell her how you feel if you're better at emotional stuff now." you explained, doing your best to look encouraging. He scoffed a laugh, nose crinkling slightly. "Wait, you think I-" he started, but cut himself off with another laugh.

You frowned, suddenly feeling uncertain. "Yes, I mean-" you wanted to explain yourself, but he cut you off, hands on your arms as he leaned a bit down to look into your eyes. "No." he said firmly, a grin on his lips. "I'm not in love with Lucy."

The thought almost seemed absurd to him.

Why would he want Lucy when you were here, standing right in front of him?

Your frown deepened, thoughts running a million miles a minute. "Wait, you're not?" you asked, voice carrying a hint of disbelief and maybe relief. He laughed under his breath, shaking his head. "No." he confirmed. "I'm not."

Silence hung between you like a heavy fog, only broken by a huff leaving your lips. "Well, I'm not as good at reading people as I thought I am." you mumbled, biting your cheek.

He shrugged as if to say I noticed. "If you were you would have known I don't want Lucy." he said, empathizing her name.

You cocked a brow, looking up at him again. "What do you mean?"

He sent you a smile that sent your heart into a frenzy, and for a moment, you thought you'd have a headrush. "I mean," he began, eyes wandering over your face. "That I can't wait for you to be a p2."

You felt dumb.

"Tim-" you started, but cut yourself off, as realization suddenly hit you like a freight train. "Wait, what?"

He chuckled, a sound that seared its way into your brain the first time you'd heard it. "Yes." he confirmed. "I don't want Lucy, because I already want you, Y/N."

It felt like the night sky had decided to let all it's lucky stars rain down on you at once.

A mix of emotions rushed through you, and you felt like you'd actually have a headrush.

"What- How?" you stammered, words escaping your brain. "I- I mean, why me? Why not her?"

Tim cocked a brow at your words. He knew you'd say something like that, a clear sign of how well he knew you by now. "Because you're you." he said. "Because you care. You're smart, funny, cute. You are a good cop, and I couldn't ask for more in a person than you already are. I don't want Lucy, because I'm not interested in her the way that I'm interested in you."

You inhaled shakily, his words like a balm to your wounded heart.

"And if you'd let me, I'd like to take you out once you're officially a p2." he added with hope shining in his bright eyes.

A smile spread your lips at his words. "I'd love to go out with you, Tim." you gave back, causing his own smile to grow.

His eyes fell to the smile on your lips, and suddenly he cared even less about the open space of the parking lot.

"Can I kiss you?" he wanted to know, eyes finding their way back to yours.

Your smile widened, and you nodded. "You can."

It was delicate the way he pressed his lips to yours, like petals of a flower. One hand snaked its way into your hair, cupping the back of your head to pull you closer. Your own hands gripped his jacket, anchoring you.

It was all you could have wished for.

And suddenly, the headrush wasn't so unpleasant anymore.

Tag List:

@newobsessionweekly @laheysfilm @dhundhchrih @augustvandyne @rookietrek @nachofriess @dtftheavengers @wonderland2425 @freyathehuntress @skywalker0809

#the rookie #the rookie imagine #the rookie x reader #the rookie x u #tim bradford #tim bradford x reader #tim bradford x you #tim bradford imagine

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jaemotion · 4 months ago

Text

blitzed | lmh (teaser)

pairing⇢ mark lee x reader

summary ⇢ finding Mark was always easy for you — which makes you his friends' last resort whenever they need him back.

genre/au ⇢ angst, smut, uh best friends ig?

rating & word count ⇢ 18+ | 0.6k

warnings ⇢ swearing, pining, drug use, high sex, allusions to mental health struggles, they’re kinda toxic ngl (more specific ones will be added in the full fic)

a/n: i couldn't finish the fic by the end of his birthday so i figured a teaser will do since it's been sitting in my drafts since March 💀. happiest 25th to the loml, my markie, my minhyung 🥺 we've been together for 9 years now? (he was one of the three rookies i picked from the SM rookie app 😌)

you hear a familiar giggle after opening the door.

sighing in relief, you should've thought of looking for Mark here right away. it's one of the secluded ones in this lounge that he and his friends frequented during their free time. mostly him cause his younger bros prefer staying in the main area where the consoles are. honestly, it's essentially a game room because of the other recreational amenities like billiard tables, etc.

your favourite actually, that's why you visit here a lot but that's mainly because you're also Mark's best friend.

he tends to stay in this room when he needs to be alone. just chilling around surrounded by his favourite things. being those colourful tablets on the small table beside him and apparently, you.

“hi baby~” he calls to you from the small mattress he’s lying on. he giggles after, arms splaying around when he sees the scowl on your face at seeing his current predicament.

you've gotten used to Mark calling you this petname though you haven't heard him call you that when he's sober. you stare at his form from where you’re standing, gaze switching between him and a couple of mollies. those smileys carved in each of the assorted candies further annoyed you for many reasons.

because it seems like they're taunting you.

he’s done this a million times before, sneaking out to take a breather when he’s going through something. you and his friends never bother him when it happens but it’s uncharacteristic for him to do this, getting high at this time of day so it must’ve been different.

“what the hell mark?!” you yell whispering instead of actually using your voice at him to not bring his friends’ attention from the main room. it’s already telling when Renjun asks you specifically to look for him when he usually does it himself.

“relax, i didn’t take a lot” he states, surprisingly sounding sober despite looking fried. you’re damn worried about him but instead, he’s out here biting his right pointer finger as he looks at you with those heavy lidded eyes.

“still..” you look away because of their intensity and then he starts giggling again, probably finding amusement in your reactions.

“mark what’s going on?” you prod, not wasting any more time. you already did by searching for him in other places even knowing that this is what he considered his safest.

you wait for Mark to answer because sometimes he takes a while especially when he's like this. fortunately for him, you’re the type to help in any way that you can.

hence why you tolerate Mark’s antics, taking whatever he can give you at the moment.

“don’t wanna talk about it” he quips, his arm that was lying above his head coming down to grab your wrist.

“then what do you want?”

“you” he says with serious intent, thumb rubbing around your inner wrist in a coaxing manner which prompts your eyes to return to him.

he's not looking at you though, his eyes seem so fascinated as his thumb continues circling your skin. if he’s being honest, Mark just doesn’t want to face a possible rejection from you.

he could take it like a man should but not right now. not when everything’s been going to shit for him. he can’t fuck up things with you too but he might’ve already by stupidly blurting out what’s been on his mind lately.

“me how?”

you actually knew what Mark was asking but it’s not often he’s like this, flogged up his mind to stop himself from being vulnerable around you. besides, you’ve wanted to pry him off to whatever he just had so you’ll entertain this specific request of his.

like you always do.

“on me” he whispers before bursting out in another fit of laughter. he may look disoriented but the sincerity in his eyes never wavers each time he looks at you.

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hcsiqs · 4 months ago

Note

16, kate martin, 🩹 ? love love love your writing

| expert at sorry

• pairing: kate martin x fem!reader

• prompt: “i want to hate you. but i can’t. and that—that sucks.”

• warnings: angst with no happy ending

awww thank u sm that means the world to me!!

You had moved to Vegas after college to have a fresh start. You had gotten a well paying job in your field and had made all new friends. It was nothing like college, which was exactly what you needed and wanted.

To not have to see Kate’s face everywhere you turned, to hear about how good she had played in a game, or being forced to go to her games even after the two of you broke up so your friends could go see Caitlin Clark shoot from the logo.

You could just live your life by focusing on your work and going out with friends at night. And now the people around you cared so much for you, even if you’ve only known each other for a little amount of time, you’d consider them your closest friends.

They met you at your worst and have helped you everyday to feel better about yourself and get you out of your shell.

“You look so sexy!” Andriana gasped as she turned you around to get a full look at your outfit. You had on a black see-through lacy top, a red bra underneath, and then a black mini skirt paired with black shoes.

“All the girls are gonna be begging to take you home,” Olivia giggled as she ran her hands down your arms.

“Thank you,” you shyly smiled, accepting their compliments, “And the both of you! Hottest couple of the century,” you smiled looking at them as Andriana’s hand found itself firmly planted on Olivia’s hip them both leaning into each other.

“Ok come on let’s go!” Devon yelled as she twisted the keys around her finger, trying to shoo everyone out of the apartment.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Y’all had been out for a couple hours and the loud music and lights were staring to get to you. Girls had came up to you and flirted but none of them were Kate.

Even after she had done you so wrong you still wanted to be under her arm, the place you found most comfort. But of course that would never happen.

You hadn’t heard anything about the blonde since March Madness as you had ignored every piece of basketball media because it hurt you too much. So, when the dj announced the Las Vegas Aces were there you weren’t expecting the next line to come out of his mouth, “And everyone’s favorite rookie, Kate Martin!” as cheers filled your ears you felt your heart practically stop.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Devon asked pulling your eyes away from the place that you had heard her name announced. “Y/N.”

“Yeah, Yeah, I’m good,” you gave a tight lipped smiled, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you her as you pointed to in its vicinity.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked, her voice still laced with concern.

“No, it’s ok,” you nodded your head, “Be right back,” you told her before exiting the sweaty crowd of people and beelining to the bathroom.

Your eyes began to sting with the tears trying to make their way down your cheeks. It was crazy how one name could send you down this spiral.

As you made your way to the bathroom you, you failed to realize a blonde following behind you. But, when you entered the bathroom you caught a glimpse of her in the mirror standing a few feet behind you. “Kate,” you said after turning around to meet her blue eyes, the ones you had originally fell in love with. “I didn’t know you got drafted, congrats,” you crossed your arms over your body, suddenly aware of how exposing it was.

“I—uh—I didn’t know you moved here,” her hand reached to the back of her neck, “I wasn’t even sure it was you who I was following.”

“So, why’d you follow me?” you asked, pushing your hip against the sink.

“I don’t know. I just,” she paused trying to find the right words, “I fucked up, Y/N.”

“I know,” you nodded your head biting your lip trying to keep your voice stable. Finally after all these months you were hearing what thought you wanted to hear, but now that you had it, you weren’t sure if this is really what you wanted. Closure, that is, because it means it would all be over.

“I said really shitty things to you—,” she was cut off by someone entering into the bathroom and silently apologizing for interrupting, “Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“We can go outside,” you told her as you pulled your phone out sending a quick text to your friends. You then followed her through the crowds until you were outside in the warm atmosphere of Las Vegas.

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” you noticed the way she still played with her fingers out of nervousness, “They weren’t true. You didn’t add stress to my life, like you were the only thing that didn’t give me stress. I just took all of my anxiety out on you and I’m so sorry,” she finished.

You stood quiet trying to figure out what words to say. You had been avoiding eye contact practically the whole time she was talking, just trying to soak in the sound of her voice.

“You probably hate me,” she ran her hand through her long blonde hair.

“I don’t hate you,” you shook your head finally meeting her gaze, “Trust me, I want to hate you. But I can’t,” you bit the bottom of your lip trying to keep it from going into a frown and allowing the tears to spill out, “and th—that really fucking sucks. Because you ruined my self image. I believed all those things you said,” you felt a tear fall down your cheek and immediately wiped it away. “I’ve spent months trying to rebuild myself from the way you left me.”

“I’m so sorry Y/N, and I will be for the rest of my life,” she stepped closer to you, but you still kept your arms around you almost as if they acted as a barrier.

“Did you really believe all those things you said to me?” your voice broke as the tears clouded your eyes and stared to stream down your cheeks. She immediately brought you into her grasp, her hand racking through your hair.

“No, no,” she shook her head before lying her chin on top of your head. You stood there crying into the shirt of the girl who had made you hate yourself and think that you were the problem in everything. “None of what I said was true. I was just scared shitless and I took it out on you. I should’ve never done that baby,” the familiar nick name slips out of her lips, and it sounds so right on her tongue that it takes all your strength to push away from her and not melt into her.

“You can’t call me that,” you stood back, wiping the tears from under your eyes, the mascara on the sides of your fingers.

Kate nodded her head, “Do you,” she started, “Do you think we will ever get back together?” she asked and you could hear the vulnerability in her voice.

“Not right now,” you shook your head, “I’m not saying never, but right now. No, I think I still need time.”

“I’ll wait,” she whispered. As you went to respond your friends came out of the club and stared at the two of you.

“Ok,” you nodded before walking over to them and waving a small bye to her before walking off.

Honestly it felt like a weight had been taken off your chest. You weren’t being weighed down by the blonde anymore.

And you were honest about maybe trying again in the future. You would just have to see a difference in her for it to happen.

#wnba #wnba basketball #kate martin #las vegas aces #las vegas #money martin #kate martin fluff #kate martin headcannons #kate martin angst #kate martin fanfic #kate martin x reader #kate money martin #wlw x reader #wlw love

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 2 years ago

Note

Hello! I have a continuing idea for the Mutefemreader and ghost! They were put on a first mission together in winter and it kind of goes sideways… they find an old cottage and decide to settle there until the weather blows over. And that’s when ghost kind of opens up and talks to her? And he finds out she isn’t so different from him when it comes to a bad past.

Thank you kindly! Love you’re work! 🎊

Thank you sm! ❤️ Oh this is nice angsty and fluffy.

Of the Same Coin

Pairing: Ghost x mute!fem!reader

Readers callsign is "Quiet" (definitely not a nod towards MGSV) I think the name is cool.

Warnings: Angst, some fluff?, mentions of past trauma

Words: 4.3k (This got out of hand but when do I ever make things simple)

Synopsis: Two hurt people finding solace with each other...

The stark red mixed with the white snow beneath you had you feeling ashamed and guilty. It bubbled in your stomach, hidden beneath the mask that covered the lower half of your face from the blistering wind that whipped against you and sunk its teeth into your bones despite the many thick layers you were wearing. Snow hit you face from all directions as you trudged through the snow, stepping in the footsteps created by Ghost in front of you.

He stood out against the pure white snow as he led the way to what you assumed was shelter. He seemed to know where he was going without having to look at a map, his walk full of confidence that screamed lieutenant for more reasons than one.

Red stained the outside layer of his uniform on his shoulder. It spread downwards despite the freezing temperatures and occasionally blood would drip onto the snow, likely to be covered up from the intense snowfall that would soon turn to a blizzard you both walked through. If the bullet wound bothered him, then he didn’t show it as he continued forward without saying a word.

Your first mission with him and you screwed it up.

Recon for intel about Makarov on Russian convoys in Siberia. It was a simple task, one that made you feel almost like they were taking it easy on you when you had already been on multiple missions with Price and the others. You had proved yourself to be a viable asset to the task force with your captain vouching for you anytime someone dared to say otherwise and you had only been with the team for a year. Yet this mission with Ghost, the first one you had with him by yourself, had been given to you as if you were a rookie who needed to learn discipline.

You didn’t complain and didn’t show your slight disappointment about it to anyone, not even Ghost because despite the fact that the mission was lackluster, you were excited to be on the field alone with your lieutenant.

“Ready for the cold, sargeant?” Ghost had signed to you from across the table in the briefing room.

“Absolutely.” You signed back with a smile, confident about the mission even though it sounded underwhelming.

All of that confidence had been sucked out of you, leaving you a lot less like a soldier and more like a lost child who had fallen on their ass. You were freezing from the wind, wet from the snow that hit you, and utterly defeated.

“Quiet!” Ghost barked over the wind and brought you out of your thoughts.

You stood up straighter and looked up at him, noticing that he was a few more paces in front of you. You must’ve slowed down significantly while you were stuck in your thoughts, causing you to fall slightly behind which only made you feel more embarrassed than you already were. If it weren’t for the fact that the heat had been ripped from you, you would’ve felt your entire body get hot from the stare he was giving.

At least you wouldn’t be shivering.

“Stay close!” He beckoned you forward with his head.

You nodded and raced up to him, holding your arms close to your stomach as you followed behind him. You kicked some snow out the way and watched him give you a quick once over with unreadable eyes before he turned around and continued walking forward.

Usually his silence didn’t bother you. You weren’t exactly in the position to demand someone to speak when you couldn’t even do that yourself, but it almost felt like he was snubbing you for what happened. You couldn’t really blame him for it, it was your fault he had a bullet stuck in his arm, so his anger towards you was justified. However, that didn’t make it hurt any less than it did as he didn’t spare any words with you.

Part of you hoped that it was because it would be difficult for him to speak over the wind, but it was impossible to know unless you asked him. You unfortunately, weren’t as good as reading people like he was and right now you wished he could teach you that skill.

A sharp gust of wind smacked against your face, pushing snowflakes against your watery eyes and stopping both of you in your tracks. You clenched your jaw tightly to stop your chattering teeth as you watched the surrounding area quickly turn into a complete white out in the matter of seconds.

It made your heart beat faster and you gripped your arms tightly, your fingers digging into your wet overcoat. You could feel an unbearable sting begin to form on the tips of your fingers and you wondered if maybe this was going to be your last moments.

You could hardly see Ghost in front of you and he was only a few feet from you. You heard him call out for you but it was nearly impossible for you to hear him, so instead you attempted to close the distance between you both.

Ghost outstretched his hand for you to take and didn’t hesitate to hold onto yours with a bone crushing grip that made you wince. He pulled you forward at a pace quicker than what your legs would allow you in the near knee high snow, but you pushed yourself in hopes that soon you would be out of the blizzard.

You stared down at your connected hands as you walked, focusing on the slight comfort you felt from having the weight of his large palm against your smaller ones. He easily could’ve directed your hand to grab onto his vest. It would be more practical, especially on the very impossible chance that someone showed up to shoot you both, but you were glad that he hadn’t.

You decided that it was better to focus on his hand in yours than anything else as you let Ghost lead you out from the field into a forest.

You weren’t sure how long you both had been walking for. It felt like hours but maybe it had only been minutes, it was hard to tell with the weather blocking out the sun, though you did notice that the already sparse light was starting to lessen.

The chance to worry about being stuck outside in a blizzard during nighttime didn’t happen as Ghost tugged on your arms to get your attention.

When you looked up, you could see a very small cabin, one that you assumed was most likely a safehouse or at least a place you could use without being shot by someone since it looked uninhabited. You weren’t sure how good a cabin in the middle of nowhere, in the wilderness would fair you both, but you at least would be out of the snow and the wind.

A relieved sigh left your chest and you rushed up to the door with Ghost right beside you.

Ghost slammed the door open with his shoulder when it wouldn’t budge from the ice that was stuck on the frame and pushed you inside. He didn’t waste any time following inside as he shut the door as hard as he could against the wind, locking it for good measure but you were sure the ice would replace itself quickly.

The inside of the cabin wasn’t warm by any means, you could still see your breath in the cold silence, but you were less likely to turn into an icicle inside. The small one room cabin had a good layer of dust collected on many of the surfaces, the few windows having snow, ice, and grim blocking out most of the light from outside. There was an old couch and a bed stacked full of quilts that screamed your name.

However, now that you were out of the weather, your attention turned back to your lieutenant who was still actively bleeding from his arm.

You turned to grab his arm with frozen hands, shivering like mad to lead him to the couch so you could patch him up, but he stepped away from you.

“Start a fire.” He gestured to the fireplace and you jumped from how loud his voice was in the silence now that you could actually hear him. “And get out of those wet clothes.”

You wanted to argue but he turned his back to you as he walked into the kitchen, so you had no choice but to do as he said. You walked to the fireplace and knelt down, sending a silent thank you to whoever was here last for leaving a package of wood pellets inside, along with a good amount of firewood.

It took you a moment to light the fire, your fingers being too stiff and frozen at first but once you got the package lit, you tossed it in the fireplace with a few logs on top. The fire slowly built and brought warmth along with it that at first, stung against your frostbitten skin before it thawed you. You didn’t waste any time to throw off all of your layers down to the innermost one which was luckily not as damp as you thought.

The warmth against your bare skin felt good and you could already feel the effects of the fire around the cabin. It made you want to sit down in front of it until you were dry and most likely half asleep, but you couldn’t.

Instead, you walked over to the bed and pulled the quilts off, fighting back a sneeze as some disturbed dust hit your nose, and held one in your hands as you looked at Ghost.

He was bent down in one of the cabinets, most likely checking to see if the pipes had frozen over, but that was the last thing on your mind, even though you knew that there was a possibility you’d both be stuck inside here for a long time. His usual thinking of the future was good but you were also worried that he was starting to lose too much blood and that he was going to get too cold.

You tapped your foot on the floor to get his attention.

“What?”

Ghost didn’t turn around to look at you and as much as you didn’t want to let it hurt you, you were already not in the best headspace about that. It made you falter and you gripped the quilt in your hands a little tighter. You wondered for a moment if you should just give up and let him come over to the fire on his own before you tapped your foot against the floor again, less forceful this time.

“Quiet-”

He stopped what he was doing and looked back at you with softer, apologetic eyes before he nodded for you to go on.

“The pipes can wait.” You signed to him before you showed him the quilt.

“You sure you want to be stuck in a place with no plumbing?” He signed back and you nodded as you held out the quilt for him to take.

Ghost didn’t say anything as he stood up and walked towards you. He began to take his clothes off, tossing them on the floor without care. Each layer he peeled off, the more prominent the red stain became on the sleeves of his clothes before he made it to the last layer, the entire sleeve of his arm soaked rich with blood.

You couldn’t help but stare at it as he grabbed the quilt from you, your eyes glued to the way his shirt stuck to his skin from all of that blood.

“Medkit’s probably in the bathroom.” He said, watching you from behind his mask as you stared at his arm. “I’ll get it.”

“Stay.” You signed and gestured towards the couch before you rushed to the bathroom.

When you found the medkit, you came back into the room and sat down on the couch beside Ghost, throwing the quilt on top of his lap before you began to pull out what you needed from the kit.

“Take your shirt off.” You signed as you held alcohol soaked gauze in your hand.

“I’m flattered, sergeant, but take me out to dinner first.” Ghost teased, most likely in an attempt to lighten the mood but you didn’t look impressed.

Without another word, he slid his shirt off and revealed the bullet wound that was in his bicep. You grimaced before you gently began to clean the blood that was stuck to his skin all the way down to his wrist. You watched him flinch ever so slightly when you dapped more alcohol onto his wound, finding some solace in the fact that it had stopped bleeding for the most part, likely from the many layers he had on.

The silence in the cabin was only broken by the howling wind outside and the crackle of the fire as you worked to patch him up. You had pulled the bullet out of him with ease, grateful that he didn’t squirm much at all, unlike Soap when you had to do that to him. You sewed up his skin meticulously as you tried your hardest not to hurt him anymore than he was while you did so. Though your hands moved gently, your mind was being anything but gentle to you as you did so.

You were waiting for Ghost to reprimand you for messing up but you hoped that the reason he was silent was because he didn’t actually think you were the reason he was hurt.

The whole reason why he had been shot was because of you.

You had noticed that there was a gun pointed on him from your location on top of the ridge you both were hiding on. The convoys had spotted you and you both were trying to pick them off with your rifles, but there were too many. Before, the weather had been mostly clear but the wind and snow came almost immediately, making it difficult to communicate with Ghost through the comms like you normally did.

He couldn’t hear the coded beeps you had created to avoid any miscommunication on the field. He couldn’t hear you when you tried to warn him about the sight that was on him and you realized that the only way he could’ve was if you had yelled at him.

This was the first time this problem had risen up, the first time that your silence failed the mission and it fucked with your head.

It didn’t matter what Price thought about you, it didn’t matter if you were one of the best sharpshooters on the team. You fucked up because you couldn’t say a damn word when it mattered, when your friend’s life was in your hands, all because of them.

“‘S’not the first bullet wound I’ve had.” He assured you in the best way he could and you glanced up at him. “Won’t be the last either.”

You shook your head and finished stitching him up. You threw the medkit on the floor and grabbed another quilt, placing it over your shoulders as you turned your attention towards the fire. You pulled your knees up to your chest as watched the flames dance in the brick fireplace, letting the warmth seep into your damp clothes.

“You’re upset.” Ghost pointed out as he pulled his shirt back on. “Why?”

You glanced at him to see that he was staring at you expectantly, the look he had being that of his profession, a lieutenant asking his sergeant a question. It wasn’t so much of a demand, but you could see that he was waiting for the answer as if it would be a given.

For a moment, you thought about lying or just not telling him anything, but you quickly realized how impractical that was. You both were most likely going to be stuck inside for at least a few days as you waited for the weather to lighten up and he knew you too well to let it go. He would get the answer out of you eventually and you knew that he had the patience for it.

“You got hurt because of me.” You signed without looking at him. “I fucked up.”

Ghost looked at you with confusion.

The thought never crossed his mind. He had replayed the situation over and over in his head many times on the trek to the cabin, going over all the ways it could’ve gone better or worse than it had, but the idea of blaming you hadn’t popped up until now.

In all honesty, he thought it was ridiculous. The one thing about this job was that not everything could be controlled and getting injured was unfortunately one of those things. Of course, it was easy to keep yourself out of the line of fire and behind cover, but it was never guaranteed to keep you a hundred percent safe, there was always a chance that something like a bullet going into your arm or anywhere else, could happen.

To blame you would be irresponsible on his part. All of you were the best of the best and though it was better to never have mistakes, it was unrealistic to believe they could never happen.

“These things happen, sergeant.” His voice was calm and leveled, his words spoken with indifference as he pointed out the obvious.

“It shouldn’t have happened, I shouldn’t have let it happen.” You argued back with a huff that made him frown.

Ghost didn’t like when you were upset, though he never outwardly expressed that to anyone. Usually when you were upset, he would try to do something to at least make it easier for you to feel better, such as get your favorite food or go on walks with you, but he was out of those options right now. There wasn’t much he could do but talk to you and that wasn’t something he was particularly good at.

He was a man of action, a man who would rather do something for you to fix the problem than talk it out. His words often came out too harsh or cold to bring any comfort even when that’s what he was trying to achieve. He was too awkward, his ability to read people only going so far when the issue wasn’t something he could fix physically.

He thought over his options, trying to come up with some solution to ease your guilt. The only thing that came to mind was to attempt to downplay the pain he felt right now.

“I’ve been through a lot worse than this.” He blurted out. “Not all my scars are from the field.”

You looked at him with knitted eyebrows for a moment, trying to decipher what he meant before he looked at you, not turning his gaze away from you as he waited. You stared deep into his eyes, searching for a hint within them but found that they were guarded much like he often was and you knew there was a reason for that.

Before you assumed that it was because of the job you both worked in. It was easier to work in this environment when you kept yourself on guard, when you didn’t let your emotions show and when you were always prepared for the worst. But Ghost was protecting himself from something old, something that had plagued him before he set foot in the military.

It made your chest tighten and you gave him an acknowledging look, one that you hoped signified that you knew what he was talking about without him having to elaborate.

It didn’t help you in the way he thought it would however. It gave you answers, a very small amount of answers, to the questions you’ve had about what happened to make Ghost adopt his persona, but it only made you think about how your pain caused him to suffer through more.

Maybe you were being dramatic, it was in the job description that injuries happened, but you were far too upset to think rationally.

“You still got hurt because I couldn’t say anything.” You emphasized and his eyes narrowed.

“That’s never been an issue before.” He pointed out and you shook your head.

“That’s my point! It’s never been an issue until it truly mattered and that means that I’m not good enough for this job.”

“Then speak.”

You sent him a glare, one of the nastiest looks he had seen from you since he started working with you but he didn’t seem bothered by it. You were shaking from anger, almost appalled by the audacity he had to say that to you and if it were possible, you would’ve stormed away from him.

You knew Ghost wasn’t good with words but it seemed like he was being insensitive now after all of the friendliness he had shown you before this moment. You should’ve expected it, he was your lieutenant, a higher up who was supposed to be your boss. There shouldn’t be sympathy for your problems and yet it still stung hearing him be so tone-deaf.

“If it bothers you that much, then speak.” He repeated and you gripped the quilt tightly. “Unless you can’t because something inside you won’t let you. So why get mad at something you can’t control?”

His words sunk into you and quickly doused the burning anger inside of you. You stared at him, your eyes softening as your shoulders slumped before you let out a shaky breath.

Ghost stared back at you with those cold tired eyes but for the first time you could see softness in them too. A look that told you he felt for you, one that told you he was there to let you feel for yourself as your frustrations slowly slipped into a feeling that made your chest heavy, a feeling of remorse for what you had lost, what had been taken from you.

He saw that familiar sadness creep up into your eyes and he ignored the heavy feeling in his chest that came from the look.

Despite what he presented as, Ghost was curious about people and who they were, it came from being so observant. He wanted to know because knowing meant all of the secrets that might be used against him. He had questions about why you were mute but he didn’t dare ask them when he saw that all too familiar look in your eyes.

Defeat. Remorse. Anger. Fear.

Those were things he’s felt, things he feels very often that he would never wish on anyone, even if it was common for soldiers to go through them. He would much rather not feel anything and often lost himself in his persona to avoid having to deal with them, something that he hoped you wouldn’t turn to.

He knew. Deep down he knew why you had that look in your eyes and that’s why he didn’t ask. He didn’t know how long ago it had been, not that it mattered since it seemed to cling onto you like a leech, but he could only assume just how bad it had been.

You shook your head, answering his rhetorical question he asked as you fell back against the couch. You knew what he said was right, he was speaking logically, trying to get you to come out of your head to look at the bigger picture, at what really mattered and it was working.

His comfort didn’t come from soft words, not really anyway, but helping you see the truth and it helped a lot more in this situation than anything else.

You mourned now. Your heart was heavy and if you were alone, you may have shed a few tears just to let them out before your head hurt, your chest hurt, everything inside of you hurt. It was more than just physical, it felt like something inside of you that wasn’t tangible had been ripped apart in ways that made it impossible to escape the feeling.

It made you afraid, deep inside you were just a scared woman who had been hurt by people who wanted information out of you.

“It still hurts.” You looked back at the fire as you signed to him, blinking away the mist in your eyes.

Ghost brought your attention back to him with a light touch on your shoulder. His eyes reflected your pain with his own but with more anger than you were feeling now as he signed the simple words:

“I know.”

The words stunned you and made you feel remorse for him because paired along with his eyes, they said everything he couldn’t.

I know you’re still hurting because I’m still hurting. I know that the pain follows you everywhere, it does the same with me. I’m still haunted.

I was hurt too.

You dared to place a hand on his wrist, doing so with care but he didn’t pull away from you. The contact from both of your now warmed bodies was enough to have you let out a silent sigh that seemed to take some of the weight off your chest as you stared down at where you held his wrist.

Ghost hesitantly placed his hand over yours, barely putting any weight on it, and you looked up to meet his now comforting gaze.

A small smile stretched across your face as you gently squeezed his wrist before you pulled away.

“At least we have each other.”

Ghost’s eyes widened before his eyebrows knitted together. A strange feeling crept into his chest, something he hadn’t felt in a long time, something he probably had never felt before this moment. It made him want to hide from you but stay as close to you as he could too, to hold you and to push you away.

He wasn’t sure what to make of it but the sentiment was enough to make him feel something…good.

“We have each other.”

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #cod ghost #ghost mw2

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wonswondrland · 10 months ago

Text

SYNOPSIS! TRBL, the new rookie girl group, is taking over the kpop industry. KL learns quickly that being the leader means you have the most influence. Because she is the sister of ENHYPEN's Sunoo, the ex-girlfriend of ENHYPEN's Jungwon, and an ex-SM trainee, KL finds herself in scandals before the group even debuts. Will TRBL overcome the drama and climb to the top or will KL's past take over their success?

idol!yang jungwon x fem idol!oc

STATUS! ongoing - updates every wednesday & friday @ 9pm CST

WARNING! lots of vulgar language and immature topics; teenagers being teenagers

GENRE! fluff, lil angst, exs to friends to lovers, love triangle/square, SLOWburn

profiles!

trbl

enhypen

friends

chapters!

1! WHO CHEERED!?

1.1! DSORDR

2! BITCHHHH YOU DID IT!!! + written

3! oh.

4! my little parasite + written

5! patient #4 has escaped!!!

5.1! you’re actually sick

6! good ole nepotism huh

6.1! HATERS GON HATE

7! everyone is fighting

8! nvm its not okay and im not okay

8.1! always here for you

9! but she’s crazy

9.1! 4 months were not wasted! + written

10! have a safe flight!!

10.1! WE MADE IT!!!

11! its the most wonderful time of the year

12! hey princess

13! FAWKKKKKKK

14! would that be so bad? + written

14.1! welp.

15! it’s just a publicity stunt + written

16! I WANT TO THANK BEYONCÉ! + written

17! IM JUST A GIRL, OKAY!?

18! fighting demons.

19! they are just boys

20! pls leave🙏 + written

21! get a room!! + written

22! chivalry is so back.

22.1! lose this number

23! have fun talking to my lawyers! 😘

24! DISPATCH SMD!!!!

25! last waltz + written

26! unfortunately i don’t think it worked…

27! departure 11.22.24

28! coming soon

TAGLIST! open <3 (purple means i can't tag you)

@sthinqsz @hwalllllllelujah @lovelymura @ja4hyvn @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @luviehyck @chloexc @w0nslvr @electrobutterfly @kgneptun @nikiswifiee @heeseungspookie @jwonistic @pshwrldd @enhabooks @noname-123s-things @slvrnm @right-person-wrong-time

to be added please send an ask, dm, or leave a note!

author's note! hello! i have moved and am starting university so now i have more time to write!! expect weekly updates on wednesdays and fridays! enjoy!! <3

#enha #enha imagines #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen smau #jungwon smau #jungwon fluff #enhypen fluff #.wonswondrland #.eyes off you #.wons mlist

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scrollonso · 7 months ago

Text

First Kiss (Birthday 1)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (3.9k words, angst, alcohol, internalized homophobia, religious talk, teary eyed lance, unprotected sex, aftercare) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I love this chapter sm}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance knew it was going to be weird, seeing Fernando the day after he stole his first kiss. It had been all that was on his mind for the past 24 hours.

Even while his mind was racing with the memories of the Spaniards lips on his he walked into the venue as if everything was normal. People were already filling the room, he wasn't expecting such a large party considering his birthday had already passed but when he considered the Spaniards success this season it made sense

People were distracted, everyone seemingly knowing everyone. Fernando excused himself from the conversation he was partaking in to welcome the Canadian.

"Lancito, I'm glad you came" He smiled at him, as if everything was normal, as if he hadn't had his hands on the others waist as their lips tangled together the day before.

"Hi- yeah, uh, I wouldn't miss it" Lance almost hit himself for being so obviously anxious, he felt the urge to talk about it, he needed to talk about it and Fernando was the only one he could speak to about it, he'd been too ashamed to even admit he had kissed the man to anyone.

"Let's get you a drink, eh? Loosen you up a bit" Fernando grabbed Lances hand, their fingers naturally locking together as if they were molded to fit perfectly together.

It wasn't the first time their hands had been together this way, considering how close they were the day before there was no reason for Lance to be so flustered by the small touch but he was. He almost tripped over his feet as he walked because he was so busy with his eyes glued at their hands, Fernandos skin seemed to glow in the lighting of the room, he wasn't dressed up, most people weren't, but he still looked gorgeous, the contrast of his light shirt and tanned skin was almost breathtaking, Lance would admire the Spaniards beauty forever if he could.

"What would you like, mi sol?" Fernando asked, turning to face Lance, the Canadians eyes quick to meet the older mans

"Uhm, I'm fine with anything" He pursed his lips slightly, eyes not leaving the Spaniards face as he continued admiring him, the way the waves of his hair fell perfectly, his brown eyes seeming to glow in the dim light of the room, the way the entire room seemed to fall silent as he was captivated by Fernando

He nodded, turning to the bartender to order for the younger man and himself.

Fernando was busy, of course he was, it was his party. Lance didn't feel welcome without Fernando by his side, sure, Nico was there, he liked Nico enough, but Nico didn't make him feel how Fernando did. Didn't make his heart flutter, didn't make him lick his lips any time he thought of him, didn't make him consider sinning in the ways Fernando did.

"You good?' Nico asked, a slightly watered down drink in his hand, too distracted speaking to anyone who passed to drink.

"Great" Lance flashed a smile and nod, downing the rest of his drink, trying to ignore the disgusting taste it left in his mouth.

Lance's eyes fell on Fernando, seeing how he laughed and how close he was to the women he was conversating with, he was annoyed, not sober enough to fight back the nasty look on his face.

Fernando turned his head, locking eyes with Lance and staying that way for a minute, the Canadian could've swore he saw the older man wink before going back to his conversation, his face changing from upset to confused, why would Fernando be winking at him when he's surrounded by beauitful women and has been all night?

Fernando was painfully obviously straight, he frequently had girls all over him but Lance never saw Fernando go to them first, never saw his eyes flicker from their eyes to their lips, never saw his hands grabbing their waist and pushing them against a wall, he felt insane for even thinking that maybe he was different to Fernando, it was a crazy thought, a sinful thought.

The night seemed to speed by for Fernando, as it got later and later people began to excuse themselves to return home.

Lance hadn't noticed as the new day began, having drank way too much to register how time works

"Lancito" A voice called, he looked up from his glass right away

"Nando!" He smiled, automatically wrapping his arms tightly around the spaniard

"Hello, mi sol" Fernando smiled, wrapping an arm around Lance while he used the other to pay for the youngers tab and push the glass away from his seat "Are you tired, Lancito?" He asked, earning a quiet no from the boy "Well, I think it's time to leave anyway"

Fernando hummed as he stood up, a familliar arm around Lances waist as he guided him outside, through the parking lot, and into the passenger side seat of his car. Nico had left earlier so this was the only way to get Lance home

"What's your room number, Lancito?" He spoke softly, brushing the hair from the boys face as he awaited a response

"I-" hiccup "I dunno"

Fernando smiled slightly, nodding and buckling the boy up before heading to their hotel, figuring having a drunk Lance in his bed again wouldn't be too hard.

Fernando opened his hotel door, a hand still resting on Lances waist as he guided the boy to a chair by his bed

"Sit, mi sol, let me get you some water"

Lance nodded, sitting down and rubbing his eyes, his brain slowly registering his surroundings and his body realizing how late it was

"Here, Lancito, drink" Fernando held out a glass, watching carefully as Lance took it and drank

Fernando sat on his bed as Lance began to sober up, he could feel the canadians eyes on him, watching every time he moved slightly. He eventually made eyecontact with the boy, he could tell there was something he wanted to say

"What is it?" Fernando asked, sitting up to take a good look at the Canadian

"I think i'm in love with you" He blurted out, eyes widening as he realized what he had just confessed "I don't- I didn't- uhm, I don't know why, I don't even know if I like boys, I don't know if I like you or I admire you- I-" He trailed off, Fernando's eyes on him as he waited for the boy to finish "I'm terrified"

"You are in love with me?" He echoed

"Fuck" Lance muttered, standing up, and running his fingers anxiously through his hair "I'm sorry- I shouldn't have said that." He breathed out, licking his lips as he avoided Fernandos gaze

"Lancito" He stood up as well, quick to go over to Lance and place his hand softly on the boys upper arm, encouraging the taller man to look at him "Is okay, what are you sorry for?"

"I can't love you, Nando- It's-" He furrowed his brows, not sure why the older man didn't just understand, Lance hardly understood, Fernando was older than him why did he have to explain this "It's wrong, It's a sin, If I continue to act on this, Nando, I-"

"Hey" He spoke softly, everything about the man was comforting to Lance "What makes you think that, Lancito? Is nothing wrong with this, you loving me is not a sin, is just life"

"It is, Nando, I know- I know you don't have faith, you don't believe, you don't have to but-" He stumbled over his words, tears threatening to escape with every blink "I do, Fernando. I believe, If God says that this is a sin, Fernando, I can't live with myself if I do this willingly."

"What exactly is this, to you?" Fernando asked, pleading for the boy to give him a straight answer "What are we, what am I to you? How do you feel about me, mi sol?"

"Nando, You know how I-"

"Tell me."

"Fuck, Fernando, I don't-" He looked away from the man, lip quivering as he broke down, hands rushing to cover his face as the tears began to fall

"Ay, mi sol" He breathed, quick to pull the boy into his arms, one hand trailing through his uncut hair, the other taking a familiar position on his waist

"I-" He felt like he couldn't breathe, hands grabbing onto Fernandos shirt as he cried into the mans chest, he felt weak.

"Te quiero mucho, Lancito" Fernando whispered into the boys ear, lips brushing against his skin as he continued "Please, mi sol, please let me. Let me love you. Let me worship you. I have no God, let me devote myself to you. Let me show you how deeply I adore you, por favor."

Lance couldn't speak, all he could do was melt into the Spaniards touch as he sat down on the corner of the bed with the boy, keeping him close as he patiently awaited a response, even if it was no, even if he was disgusted, he needed something.

"If I was a girl-" He started, breaking the silence of the silence to choke out the words, not wanting to believe them himself "If I was a girl, loving you wouldn't be a sin."

Fernando felt like he just got punched in the gut hearing that, his eyes meeting Lances who's were filled with tears broke his heart "Mi sol.." He breathed out, unsure what to say, he understood how Lance felt, he was well aware of Lance's religious family and what exactly that meant but hearing it from Lance hurt

"I want to, Nando, I really want to." His voice cracked, eyebrows practically knitted together as he tried to blink back tears

"You can, please, mi sol, is nothing wrong with this, with us, with loving eachother." The Spaniard tried to convince the boy, praying it'd be easy, he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to see his Lancito so hurt because of him.

"But-" He started, unsure what he was going to say in protest

"No, I know i am right, is just me and you here, no?" Fernando asked, earning a nod from the younger man "Your God will forgive, anyone who truly loves you will be okay with this, am okay with this, is okay."

It made sense in Lance's head, Fernando always made sense in his head, he trusted him with everything. Both of them fell silent, doing nothing but looking at eachother, Lance couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong but if they weren't meant to be this close then they wouldn't be.

"Can I kiss you?" The older man spoke again, seeming hesitant to even suggest it now, without even thinking Lance connected their lips, how his god felt about this meant nothing when Fernandos lips on his was all his heart desired.

The Spaniard was quick to move his hands to Lance's waist, pulling him closer as they kissed, the younger man sinking into his grip, following his lead.

Fernando opened his mouth slightly, teeth grabbing onto the Canadians lip as a way to pull them closer, they could never be close enough.

Lance gasped, Fernandos teeth digging in slightly deeper after he heard the response he got out of the boy, his light pants between each kiss like music to the Spaniards ears.

The older man moved Lance slightly, lowering the two of them onto his bed, having himself positioned perfectly on top of him before he pulled away

"Nando" Lance started, lust filled eyes staring up at his Fernando, the room was lit just enough that it looked like the boys eyes were sparkling, Fernando absolutely adored his eyes.

"Is this okay?" Fernando asked, moving his gaze away from Lance's face to grab the hem of the taller mans shirt. Lance followed his hands, he wanted to, he trusted Fernando, of course he did, but he couldn't help but be scared.

"I don't know how-" He practically whispered, breaking the eye contact between the two of them "I've never done this before"

"Let me take care of you." He spoke softly, making Lance's heart flutter, Lance knew he was safe, Fernando would never do anything bad to Lance and everyone had slowly came to realize that

"Okay" Lance nodded, looking back up to Fernando "Yeah, Yeah this is okay"

"Sit up, mi sol" He instructed, taking off Lance's shirt once he did, he could tell the boy was nervous, even after sobering up it made sense for him to be. "I'll be gentle with you" Fernando promised, planting soft kisses on the corner of Lance's mouth as he laid him back down, slowly moving his lips lower

Lance closed his eyes, moving his hands to cover his face as Fernando bit his neck softly, gasping at the pleasant feeling.

"So pretty" Fernando spoke against the younger mans skin, hand moving to his jaw to expose more of his skin, lips traveling up Lance's jawline and leaving kisses behind his ear

"Nando, please" Lance begged, voice shaking

"Please what, mi sol?" Fernando sat up, looking at Lance for direction

"Touch me, please, Nando, do something" He whined, reaching to grab Fernandos hand, he wasn't even sure how he wanted the older man to touch him he just knew he needed something, anything.

"Okay, Lancito, I will" He whispered, placing a light peck on the boys lips and interlocking their fingers before moving his other hand down to the Canadians belt, taking it off for him "You are sure? You want this?" Fernando asked again, not wanting to take advantage of the boy considering how much he drank and how he'd just opened up to him.

"Please, I need it, Nando please." As Lance spoke he got more and more desperate, Fernando feeling as the taller man brought up his hips in desperation, body begging to feel any type of friction

He nodded, finally going to give the boy want he wanted. He lifted Lance on his own this time, sliding his dress pants down and off, shoes already disgarded somewhere in the room.

After placing his pants at the foot of the bed he brought his attention back to Lance, squeezing his hand slightly as he brushed his thumb over the boys bulge, seeing his head arch back slightly, body still aching for more and who was Fernando to deny his sun of anything?

He moved his and Lance's hand closer to his mouth, kissing his knuckles softly before letting him go, using both hands to take off the younger mans briefs, not realizing he was leaving him fully exposed while Fernando still had every inch of his body covered

"Nando" Lance protested, reaching for the mans shirt, desperate to take something of his off as he laid down, his body on display for him.

"I know, is okay, Lancito" The Spaniard spoke, planting a kiss on the boys forehead before undressing himself, turning slightly in order to place his clothes on the floor, Lance sat up again, eyes examining his body since this was the first time he was seeing all of him, his gaze landed on the samurai tattoo decorating his neck and upper back, he wasn't sure why but the sight of Fernandos inked skin alone was enough to make his cock throb, a quiet whimper escaping his lips

He felt intimidated as the older man turned back to face him, finding himself leaning onto the bed before the shorter man even spoke

The Spaniard smiled, finding his way on top of Lance once again, a hand placed on Lance's thigh as he spoke "You're so good for me, Lancito"

The words didn't seem like much but to Lance they were life changing, he whined at the praise, moving his hips slightly in efforts to recieve any kind of friction, he needed Fernando to hurry up.

"So desperate, mi sol, I've barely even touched you" He cooed, finally moving his focus to the boys body, eyes landing on the tattoo placed on his upper ribs. He brought his hand up the boys waist, thumb brushing over the hebrew lettering before moving onto his core, littering soft kisses down the boys stomach until he reached the base of his cock, Lance already squirming under him "So pretty, you are so perfect, Lancito"

With each praise that came out of Fernandos lips it only left Lance more desperate, needing more, he was beginning to get impatient until he felt a hand brush over his member, applying light pressure that alone could've made Lance come undone on the spot

"Nando" He whined, moving his hand to grab onto the older mans wrist, bringing it back to where Lance needed it most

"Can not have you finish too soon, mi princesa" He explained, the use of a new nickname leaving Lance's skin even more flushed than it had already become, he loved every nickname the Spaniard gave him but something about being his always made him feel special.

"Please, I just need you to touch me, Nando" He begged, Fernandos lips curling slightly as he listened to the boy

"Okay, okay" He nodded, sitting down on the bed besides Lance as he instructed the boy to reposition himself, getting on his hands and knees with little hesitation.

He brought his hand up to the boys waist, squeezing his hips slightly as he leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing a bottle of lube he'd been given as a gag gift, now he was more than greatful for whoever decided to make the joke.

He opened the bottle and got some on his hand, thumb brushing the boys hip softly "Am going to start, okay?"

Lance nodded quickly, he needed him to start, he needed anything, anything Fernando gave him he'd take

Fernando inserted a finger, careful at first because he was well aware this is Lance's first time doing anything like this, the boy shuddered under him, eyes closing at the cold feeling of Fernando's single digit inside of him

"More, Nando, please" He spoke, gasping as Fernando did what he asked. He could feel his fingers opening him, getting him ready, it was a new feeling but Lance adored it, his brain foggy as the reality of the situation hit him. Fernando was good with his fingers, reaching places and getting reactions out of Lance that the younger boy didn't know was possible.

"Sound so pretty for me, Lancito" Fernando's voice made Lance feel different, he still spoke the same but the combination of the praise and the feeling of his fingers deep inside of him caused a pit to form in his stomach, cock twitching slightly every time he moved

"Fuck, Nando, Please, Please I need more" Fernando nodded at the boys words, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his neck before adding a third and final finger, stretching Lance just enough so the Spaniard could fit inside without causing the boy too much pain.

Fernando turned Lance around, taking off his own briefs before pulling the Canadian onto his lap, watching as he moved to hide is face in the crook of his neck.

The older man moved back, leaning against the headboard as he lifted Lance by his hips to line himself up with his hole, whispering praises as he finally put the tip in, Lance gasping as his body sunk onto Fernandos cock, eyes squeezing shut against Fernandos skin as he felt himself getting filled up

He didn't move at first, waiting for Lance to get used to the feeling of him. When the Canadian started grinding slightly, looking for friction once again, he knew it was time to start moving

"Let me do the work" Fernando whispered, kissing the back of Lance's ear as his hands settled back on his hips "I'll take care of you, princesa"

With that he began to move, Lance's arms draped over the mans shoulders, his hands finding their way to the mans back and digging into his tattoo slightly as he felt Fernandos length moving inside of him, whining into his skin with every thrust

Lance could barely bring himself to think about anything but Fernandos cock, if this was so wrong why was it making him feel so good?

Lance and Fernando were close, practically every inch of their skin that coud be touching was touching, Lance's cock trapped between both of their torsos, dripping with precum as Fernando found his prostate, adoring how Lance practically meweld every time the older man made contact with it.

"Nando, Nando I'm-" His voice was shaky, barely able to form words as his head spun, feeling euphoric because of how the Spaniard was using his cock

"Cum, Lancito, cum for me" He instructed, continuing at the same pace inside of him as he felt his orgasm building, the feeling of Lance beginning to clench around him pushing him closer and closer.

He leaned Lance back slightly, wanting to watch as he came for him, not regreting his choice as he saw the way the boy shook softly in his arms, his cum covering both of their torsos and finally pushing Fernando over the edge.

Lance's breathing was heavy, he was quick to melt into Fernandos touch as he rode out both of their highs, something so intimate about the position they were in

"You did so good, princesa, so, so good for me." Fernando raved, cupping the boys face with his hands to cover him in soft kisses

Lance hummed, a soft smile on his face as he felt Fernandos lips on his face, ending with a loving kiss on his lips, this was perfect.

"Let's clean up" Fernando spoke again, hand brushing through Lance's hair as he stood up, Lance whining at the empty feeling he was left with "We can sleep after" Lance liked the sound of them both sleeping, he liked the sound of both of them together, it felt almost unreal as he gazed up at Fernando, nothing but admiration in his eyes as he appreciated the man in front of him

"Come on" Fernando laughed, moving to help Lance up as they made their way to the bathroom, grabbing both of them a towel and running a bath for him and the boy.

As they got out Fernando wrapped a towel around hinself, moving to dry of Lance's hair before wrapping him up as well

"I can dry my own hair, Nando"

"I can dry your hair too" They both smiled, they hadn't been able to stop smiling since they'd gotten to the bathroom and when Fernando pulled Lance to lay on top of him after they got dressed they still had grins on their faces

"Thank you, Nando" He heard Lance whisper, laying his head on the Spaniards chest

"You're welcome, Lancito" He hummed, moving his hand to stroke Lance's hair once more, admiring the boy that was slowly falling asleep on him, his boy.

Nothing else mattered in this moment, he didn't care about anything else besides the person breathing quietly in his arms. Lance was right, Fernando didn't have faith in a religion, in a god, in a book. He had faith in Lance. The man he'd spend the rest of his life worshipping and devoting himself to as if he was a god if he'd only let him.

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haechanhues · 1 year ago

Text

pairing : ot22 x reader. sm rookies! shohei/eunseok/seunghan x reader. sungtaro x reader.

genre : fluff + angst + suggestive content throughout.

warnings : suggestive content from a certain point. implications of bullying, swearing. toxic relationships. further warnings at every preview, written chapter etc please tell me if there are warnings I may have missed. everything in this fic is fictional. STORY COMPLETED BEFORE TAEIL’S REMOVAL SO HE MIGHT BE MENTIONED IN A COUPLE CHAPTERS ESP JOHNNY’S

summary : in which a girl farewells every boy she’s ever loved (or at least had romantic feelings for) in order to prove that her feelings for one particular boy are very real and unwavering.

status : completed

taglist : @matchahyuck @haisuken @dinonuguaegi @replayenthusiast @90s-belladonna @scftharu @ahnneyong @liliansun

main masterlist

author’s note : now pls bear with me, this is kind of a concept that rattles me a little bit so pay attention to the previews which are listed as ‘phones’. timestamps aren’t necessarily important unless stated. i’ve had this idea in my head for 3+ years now and i've written about 13 chapters and i just cannot hold on any longer so here it is.

EDITED : I will be deleting taeil’s chapter and because he is mentioned in another chapter or two he will be a warning.

profile 1 | profile 2 | profile 3 | profile 4 | moodboard

prologue :

P H O N E (1)

chapter one : hong seunghan

chapter two : osaki shotaro

chapter three : REMOVED

chapter four : matsushima shohei

chapter five : jung jaehyun

P H O N E (2)

chapter six : chittaphon leechaiyapornkul

chapter seven : park jisung

chapter eight : lee jeno

chapter nine : lee taeyong

chapter ten : jung sungchan

P H O N E (3)

chapter eleven : yuta nakamato

P H O N E (6)

chapter twelve : wong kunhang

chapter thirteen : kim doyoung

P H O N E (7)

chapter fourteen : song eunseok

chapter fifteen : na jaemin

chapter sixteen : lee donghyuck

chapter seventeen : mark lee

chapter eighteen : zhong chenle

chapter nineteen : liu yangyang

chapter twenty : johnny suh

chapter twenty one : dong sicheng

P H O N E (8)

chapter twenty two : qian kun

chapter twenty three : xiao dejun

chapter twenty four : kim jungwoo

chapter twenty five : huang renjun

P H O N E (9)

epilogue : you, again

author's confessions + thank you wrap up

#kflixnet #k-labels #nct fic #nct social au #nct #nct dream fic #wayv fic #nct 127 fic #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct smau #nct fluff #nct angst #nct suggestive #riize fic #sm rookies shohei fic

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bellasprettywords · 6 months ago

Note

Ok, i totally understand that you get a lot of requests but i literally couldn’t live without asking…Could you do a part two to the spencer reid loml fic where he goes to san francisco and makes up with the reader? Tysm 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

(btw so high school is my fav fic ever i love it sm)

Hi love!! Thank you so so so much for your kind words; I hope this is to your liking, because I wanted to keep the angsty mood long enough to answer the questions from the first part; but ending with a little fluff

Btw, I have a pendidng Hotch request I'm currently working on, so I wanted to remind you that requests are always open🥰

y/n – your name

Warnings: A little angst, bad words and just Sad Boy Spence with a sprinkle of fluff at the end

Word count: 6,395 (is bc there are emojis)

My Masterlist

Almost a month had gone by since you left the BAU in Quantico; and even if you tried to see the bright side of things, since Spencer had called off your engagement, life felt like walking around with a hole pierced where your heart used to be. Although, it is important to note, things for Spencer weren’t much better on the other side of the country.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Reid, but I think you should really consider taking some time off work” Emily told Spencer as they were exiting the jet recently landed jet

“I’m alright Prentiss, what happened in the field won’t happen ever again” Spencer scoffed, almost sounding petulant, and exhausted after days with little to no sleep and a complicated case that took an enormous toll on him

“This is not a question Reid, you put your life, the victim’s and your team’s life on the line for what? Because you had a hunch? I’m sorry but in this line of work you can’t just risk it all just because you think so, and you should know that, specially by now” Emily replied, this time with a firm tone that send a shiver trough Spencer’s back; he knew Emily was right, but he really couldn’t admit it, even to himself, that the past month had been hell on earth without you

“I… I’m sorry, I was so sure I could catch the unsub” Spencer tried arguing, but he knew no matter what he said, Emily was right, his head wasn’t in the right place and he ended up jeopardizing the case, and almost letting the unsub walk freely

“I’ll take advantage of the gunshot you received to have you on medical leave for at least two weeks, and hopefully when you come back, your head is clear and you’ll stop doing rookie mistakes” Emily said, trying her best to gift Spencer a compassionate smile

“Alright boss, see you in a fortnight” Spencer said, with a forced smile carrying his go bag, ready to go home; except that, home wasn’t home anymore. “Home” was room 313 of a crappy hotel; even if the mortgage payments for the apartment you two used to share were currently being taken off his bank account. Spencer Reid did not have the heart to step into the apartment he had impulsively bought hoping you’d come back to him.

When Spencer thought about coming home, all he could think about was coming back to you. Your soft embrace, your sparkling eyes, and the way you had to make life better just by being present. Until this day, Spencer could not understand, nor explain, the effect you had on people: you were like a ray of sunlight after a week of rain; whenever he thought of you, he got the same excitement you get when the first flowers of the spring start blooming. Even if he wanted to be stubborn and hold on to his decision of breaking off the engagement, it took every fiber of his being to not drive his car all the way to San Francisco to get you back. But then again, his logical side kicked in and reminded him of all the reasons you couldn’t be together:

He was way older than you, Spencer Reid was convinced that the eight-year difference would take a toll on the relationship, sooner or later

He knew schizophrenia was almost likely to be hereditary, and he didn’t want to put you thought the hell he lived with his mom when he was younger

Your career was just taking off at the FBI, while his was somehow was marked permanently by his time in prison and more than a couple of disciplinary issues; and he wanted nothing to do with your reputation being stained by associating with him

While you were a hell of a profiler, after years at the BAU he knew what the job could do to you, and he did not want to risk you losing your spark with all the trauma the job inflicted

Every single person he has ever loved ended up either death, kidnapped or extremely harmed by being close to him. This was a particularly painful reason, especially because he is not a man of faith, but sometimes, late at night Doctor Spencer Reid wonders if he’s somehow the victim of a prophecy, or a cruel joke of fate considering every single person he has ever loved suffers when they’re around him; and of course, he could not let you suffer, nor put you in any danger because of his ill luck

Sure, whenever he thought of these reasons he called bullshit on himself, but at the end of the day, the decision was made, and you were perfectly safe from him (and his curse) at the other side of the country.

Since the day he called off the engagement, Spencer felt that he was living his life in autopilot. Most of the time, he wasn’t even present at the moment because he was too immersed into his own head, spinning and replaying the dreadful day he broke your heart; which ended up with him making huge mistakes at work, and disappointing René Descartes: as he was not thinking.

Without even noticing, he arrived into his hotel room, sighted, and decided he was too tired to even eat, so he just went to bed.

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After a couple of days of bed rotting, Spencer received an unexpected knock on his hotel door, and it was his dear friend Penelope Garcia.

“How are we doing, boy genius?” the bubbly blonde asked as she came into the messy hotel room. Spencer was known to be a pretty organized person, some would even dare to say he had a small OCD, but from the state of this hotel room, Penelope was both perplexed and alarmed

“I guess you heard about my medical leave” Spencer said taking a seat on the bed with a voice that almost sounded like a grunt

“Yeah… I was pretty surprised when you didn’t show up to the jet, I mean, I knew the injury of the bullet you took in Arkansas wasn’t that devastating” she said, clearly nervous about the topic

“The bullet just grazed my shoulder, I really didn’t need the medical leave” Spencer scoffed rolling his eyes, “So why are you here? Prentiss send you to check up on me?” the young Doctor said facing his friend

“I was just… worried about you… I know… I know things have been difficult since y/n left Virginia” Penelope said, almost rambling, and worried that her words would shake up Spencer.

Everyone at the BAU, knew Spencer Reid was a yapper, nonetheless and since he came back from prison, it was like something inside Spencer died. He was still a genius who held on his mind almost every single piece of information he has ever read, or learn, but something was totally different. He stopped his rambles, he became more reserved, and he built these walls around him and his personal life. Of course, some of this changed when he was with you, once again he had opened up his heart to trust, and his old friends like García, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss sometimes even felt like they could catch a glimpse of the old Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Spencer went back to his avoiding and reserved ways once you left the BAU; it almost seemed like you left, and took his heart with you.

“I’m alright, the wound is healing properly, and soon I’ll be back on the field” Spencer rushed to answer, avoiding commenting on you

“What’s wrong with you, Spence?” Penelope dared to ask directly seeing how avoidant he had been lately

“Nothing’s wrong, okay? Prentiss is just exaggerating, and that’s why she made me leave” Spencer said, rolling his eyes at his concerned friend

“You are one of my closest friends, I even dare to call you family Spence, and I know when something is wrong with my family” Penelope said taking a step closer to Spencer “I’ve been giving you your space with the whole y/n situation, I even refrained from asking the juicy details, but something is seriously wrong if you are running toward the unsubs, taking bullets just because, and pushing away the people who care about you” Penelope said, and Spencer realized how much of an ass he was being to his friends, but of course, he knew this was nowhere close to how much of an ass he had been towards you

“I fucked up” Spencer said with a strain of voice, as his eyes were covered by a soft mist of tears

“I know you did Spence, but you can make things better” Penelope said holding her friend in her arms as he silently cried over her shoulder

“y/n hates me… I… I screwed thing up and there’s no coming back from there” Spencer cried as Penelope streaked his hair reassuringly

“I’m sure y/n doesn’t hate you” she said after a pause “Whatever happened between the two of you was probably a misunderstanding that can be resolved” Penelope added with a string of hope on her voice. Nobody knew exactly what had gone on between the two of you; one day you were happily engaged, and the next Monday you had asked for your transfer to the other side of the country, with no explanation or goodbyes

“I… I got scared… I just love y/n so much I didn’t want to drag her down with me. I know I’m screwed up, and complicated to deal with… Also… It may sound stupid, but you know how every single person I’ve loved either dies or leaves? I was so scared out of my mind that something horrible would happen to her, I decided to end the engagement right there on the spot” Spencer admitted put loud for the first time, as tears rolled down his cheeks “You know the worst part? When y/n left town I even bought our apartment, just in case that she wanted to come back, but as days go back, I guess her decision was final, and she’s not coming back” Spencer continued his rant

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’ve kept tabs on her, since she left Virginia” Penelope said and Spencer’s eyes lit up at the possibility of learning something about you and your whereabouts

“Is she okay? Is she happy? How’s she doing in San Francisco?” Spencer rushed to ask, eager with anticipation

“She’s okay, she’s mostly working with children victims of human trafficking, so he’s been really busy, but overall her performance is alright” Penelope said, debating internally of she should give Spencer the envelope with your information she was caring on her purse

“y/n always enjoyed working with children” Spencer said with a small smile forming into his lips as the image of you popped on his head. He could see you, smiling brightly after solving the pieces that made the cases, the way you’d sight in relief after catching an unsub, and how dedicated you were to your work, he was so proud of you that the thought of you killing it on your new job made his heart flutter with excitement, but ache because the prospect of you coming back, somehow became even more distant

“I… there’s something else… she’s seen somebody new” Penelope said, and Spencer’s heart shattered at the idea of you with someone else. He could barely manage to stand, as his knees grew weak and his throat suddenly got dry “She’s dating an Assistant District Attorney, it’s something fairly new but I thought you should know” the blonde added, deciding she was going to facilitate Spencer all the information she had on you

“I hope he treats her right” Spencer said with a strain of voice as Penelope handed him the envelope she retrieved from her purse

“This is all the info I’ve gathered on y/n, I don’t know what you should do, but I… I hate seeing you like this, and honestly, the two of you were so happy together. I don’t know what happened or of it’s salvageable, but I know in my heart you love her, and she loves you, even if she’s forcing herself to move on, so just… follow your heart Reid, I know it’s hard and scary, but I promise you it’s worth it” Penelope said, cupping her friend’s cheek on her hand

“I don’t know what to say, I mean, of course I love her, but because I love her I have to let her go, I’m dangerous for her” Spencer said, with his eyes lingering from the envelope to his friend

“If that’s your final say, it’s okay, I brought this here for you, so I’m leaving it whether you want it or not, but please Spencer, I need you back, the whole team needs you” Penelope said cupping her friend’s cheek as she left the hotel room, leaving Reid with a messy web of thoughts that revolved around you.

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Another couple of days went by since Penelope’s visit, Spencer still hadn’t peaked through the envelope, but he was burning with anticipation to do so.

Spencer decided that he would make the best of this time off, and he could visit his mother. He bought a plane ticked for that same day, packed a bag with the envelope Penelope had left behind, and without letting anyone know, he left for Las Vegas, to see the only human being who could understand what he was going through.

“Hi mom” Spencer said entering the common room of the sanatorium Diana was on

“Spencer! How are you my honey” Diana greeted him with a warm hug, which he gladly accepted

“It’s been quite a while, but I’m alright” Spencer said, trying to hide the sadness on his eyes with a forced smile

“You should know better than to lie to your mother” Diana said, reading right through Spencer’s expression

“Everything’s messy mom, I… I broke off the engagement with y/n” Spencer spilled embarrassed of the whole situation, but confident his mom would have something wise to say

“You remember Mr. Knightley’s love confession to Emma?” Diana asked with a furrowed brow after a long pause, to take in her son’s words

“I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.” Spencer recited by heart; after all, he had read that novel at least ten times as it was your favorite. You didn’t know this, but the reason Spencer kept rereading the novel was to take inspiration and make references only for you and a handful of Jane Austen fans could catch in your wedding vows

“That’s right my brilliant boy, you want to know why those simple words have so much impact?” Diana said, getting ready to lecture her son in both literature, and love “Because when you love someone so much, it doesn’t matter how many layers and walls they build, at the end you know the right way to unfold them. As well, loving someone isn’t just loving when it’s easy, or when it seems right, it also means holding on through tick, thin, fears, complications and messiness. May I add, words are unnecesary when there is so much love in between” Diana said offering her son a kind smile

“I don’t think she can forgive me, mom, I really screwed up this time… I’m sure she thinks I don’t love her, damn, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks I never loved her in the first place” Spencer rambles exasperated by the whole situation his insecurities caused

“I’m sure she knows its bullshit, at the end of the day you love her; she’s a smart girl, she’ll figure it out just as I could tell you were trying to lie to my face” Diana said with a chuckle

“I’m sure she’s over me, she’s already dating a hot shot lawyer in San Francisco” Spencer said biting his lower lip

“It takes a lifetime to forget a great love, and lucky for you, that’s what you had; I’m sure you can get her back if you let go of your fears and put your heart on the line” Diana added cupping her son’s cheek

“I wouldn’t bet on it mom, I mean, I’ve put her through hell” Spencer said biting nervously the inside of his cheek

“Then bring her back from hell, just like Orpheus was supposed to bring Eurydice back” Diana said encouraging her son to follow his heart

“Do you believe I’m hard to love?” Spencer asked his mother in a serious tone, in hope she could calm down all his fears, and put to rest the voices in his head telling him it was not worth it

“I believe you are extraordinary, and that loving you is one of the greatest pleasure in life, of course, life comes with its ups and downs, but love is worth every single bump you encounter on the way” Diana said, convincing Spencer that he should fight for the one he loved, even if he was scared to death of doing so

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Spencer took another plane, this time it was bound to San Francisco; and he spent the whole plane ride studying obsessively the envelope Garcia had put together of you and your life in Frisco, as she had previously referred.

The transition made a toll on you, and you seemed to be putting on extra hours in the field just for the sake of it, but Spencer couldn’t shake away the feeling of pride that fluttered all around his chest as he reviewed your accomplishments. You seemed to be living on the bay area, and Spencer couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering as the pilot announced they were about to land in the airport. Suddenly, everything seemed real: the losing you, the never-ending love he still harvest on his heart for you, how much he had screwed up, the anxiety building over as the chance of rejection became a possibility. Sure, Spencer had come out of jail a changed man, but right now, he felt as anxious and vulnerable as the lanky Doctor with glasses he used to be when he first entered the BAU. What was he even supposed to do? Spencer Reid wasn’t used to winging things, but for the first time in his life, he boarded a plane without having an actual plan of what to do when he landed, and that was freaking scary.

He decided it would be creepy to just show up at your door, considering he knew your address by the information Penelope had given him when she visited, and he did not want to freak you out. Maybe he could hang nearby where you lived, until he either worked up the courage to talk to you, or he came up with an excuse that wasn’t pathetic to explain why he was so many miles away from home. A hotel! Suddenly Spencer thought he also needed to book a hotel or at least, find a place where he could spend the night. After reading a more than a couple of yelp reviews, the young Doctor found a hotel close enough to your home that he could get there by walking, but with enough distance to be considered respectful, or at least he thought so.

“For fucks sake, Spencer, you really need to come up with a hell of an excuse to be in San Francisco” Spencer muttered to himself as he was getting installed into the hotel room. After a couple of hours of pacing around in the room thinking, crafting, and tossing at the trash at least fifty excuses for him being in California, he decided it was about time to get something to eat.

He settled on a Thai place that was a couple of blocks away from his hotel, and as he was devouring his Tom Yum Goong, and suddenly he felt like he was about to choke on his soup: he heard your laugh. The same laugh that had been haunting his dreams for the past month, that one laugh he could recognize in a room full of noise, the laugh he would trade his lat breath of air, just to be able to hear at least one more time. The room started spinning and Spencer, a known rambler, suddenly was at a loss of words.

“Spencer?” he heard you calling him from the other side of the room, and for a second, Spencer Reid knew exactly why sailors found their death as soon as they heard the mermaid’s lullabies; but while he was thinking about drowning on the dulcet sound of your voice, a naughty piece of shrimp decided to block his airways and he started coughing

“Oh my god! Spencer, are you okay?” you rushed over to his side trying to help him, oblivious that your presence only made it harder for him to breath

“Excuse me, honey, let me handle this” Dylan, your new… situationship (?) said, holding Spencer and practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on the Doctor

If Spencer was struggling to find a good excuse for being in San Francisco, he better come up with something good, because this was deficiently the most embarrassing moment of his life; it was official, he has reached a new low point and he couldn’t wait for the earth to shatter under his feet and just swallow him.

“Hello y/n” Spencer said with a raspy voice as soon as he could breath

“Spencer! Hi, hello” you said, completely confused and shaken up by the situation that you just witnessed

“Are you okay, bro?” Dylan intervened, taking you out of the trance of what was going on in front of you

“Yes, I’m alright, thank you…” Spencer said, with his eyes glued to you

“I’m Dylan, Dylan Brown” Dylan said offering his hand to Spencer

“Spencer doesn’t…” you started speaking when you were interrupted

“I don’t shake hands, with the amount of pathogens you could get from a handshake is actually safer to jut kiss” Spencer cut you off “I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, nice to meet you” he said holding his hand up and waving a little

“Oh… I didn’t know we were in official business” Dylan said with a chuckle “District Attorney Dylan Brown, at your service” he continued flashing his winning smile, giving Spencer a weird feeling, maybe… jealousy? Whatever it was, definitely was the reason Spencer couldn’t spare a laugh for the person who pretty much just saved his life

“What are you… Why’re you here? I mean… Are you here on a case or something?” you asked, noticing how uncomfortable both Dylan and Spencer where with the situation

“I… I’m here to… yes! Actually I’m here consulting on a case” Spencer decided to lie, in order to preserve his last shred of dignity, little did he know…

“Oh really? That’s so weird, considering you’re on medical leave” you said cutting through his bullshit, okay, he didn’t know was it was possible, but somehow Spencer Reid started from the bottom, just to somehow sink even deeper

“How did you? How do you even know about the medical leave?” Spencer said, taking you off from the higher horse you pretended to be

“I didn’t… I mean… Garcia happened to mention something” you stuttered, as you refused to admit you had been checking up with Penelope, just to know how Spencer was doing

“Honey, we should go back to our table” Dylan once more intervened the staring contest that was going down between Spencer and you

“You should join me, actually, let me invite the two of you dinner, after all, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Dylan’s amazing technique of the Heimlich Maneuver” Spencer said with a hint of sarcasm, and you knew this night was bound to end in disaster

“We don’t want to impose” you rushed to reply

“Please, I insist, I’m just so shaken up by everything that went down” Spencer decided to play the victim, and you knew you were screwed

“Come on y/n, we can’t leave him all alone after his brush with death” Dylan said, unknowingly sealing the night’s fate, as he was taking a seat

“Thank you so much, to the both of you” Spencer started speaking, with his eyes piercing fierily into your own

“So you guys know each other?” Dylan tried to make sense of the situation

“Oh, yes, we used to work together, back in Virginia” you rapidly intervened to avoid Spencer giving away too much information

The dinner proceeded uneventful, but you couldn’t put your finger quite on it. There was something off with Spencer; the vibes weren’t vibing, and as much as you wanted to focus on Dylan, there was something magnetic pulling you towards Spencer, or maybe it was those damn profiler skills you couldn’t just push to the back or your mind, either way, you knew you had to stop it.

“I’m sorry for cutting this short, but I was just called into the office, apparently there’s an emergency” Dylan said checking his phone after ordering dessert

“Oh, let me come with you, maybe I can help” you said, thanking God, the universe or something for the way out

“Please don’t, you guys should really catch up, but I’ll text you when I get to the office, just so you don’t worry” Dylan said placing a kiss on the top of your head, making Spencer’s stomach flip “It was lovely to meet you Spencer, I hope this isn´t the last we see of each other” he added taking his coat, gifting the doctor a kind smile and walking away from the table

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked angrily as soon as Dylan went through the door

“I needed to talk to you” Spencer replied with a calm tone that was making your blood boil

“What do you want to talk about Reid? I think enough was said in Virginia” you scoffed

Spencer was a man of many words, unfortunately, at this very moment his brain was a mush and even if he wanted to, he was unable to string two sentences together. Seeing you made quite a number on him: his hands were sweaty, his head was spinning, his back was shivering, his pupils couldn’t focus, his stomach was in knots, and he was almost certain this is what a stroke feels like.

“So? Why are you really here?” you asked once more with an exasperated expression

“I…I…” he was choking again, this time just tripping with his own words

“Whatever you are playing, I want no part on it, I already lost enough with you” you said with a sober tone

“I’m in love with you, I fucked up, but I’m here to promise I’ll do everything in my power, actually I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you” Spencer rambled and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation

“You’re a madman if you think you can just come here out of the blue, say that you love me and everything will be forgiven” you said, this time taking your own coat and leaving Spencer alone in the restaurant

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

What the hell was wrong with Spencer Reid

That sentence was all you could think of on your way back home.

Did he really think he could show up in San Francisco, declare his love to you and what? You were supposed to come back to him? Even if your heart lowkey fluttered when your eyes first met his at the restaurant, he was being a complet ass and it was totally unacceptable. As you were getting ready to go to bed, your head was spinning, thinking about Spencer was not an option, but somehow the whole encounter kept poping into your head.

You tossed and turned on your bed, untill the clock on your bedside marked 2:20 am, and you knew there was only one person in the whole world who could help apeace your mind; the very same person that was the reason of your sleepless night.

“Hey, it’s me” you whispered as soon as Spencer picked up the phone

“Hello y/n, having a rough time sleeping?” you could hear Spencer’s husky voice on the other side of the line

“I think I’m ready to talk, and I’m guessing you already know where I live, so please come” you said, hanging up the call without giving him enough time to give you an answer

Fifteen minutes after the short phone call, Spencer was buzzing on the intercom of your apartment bulding; and no more than five minutes after that he was already knocking on your door.

“Please come in” you said, opening the door for him

“Thank you so much for having me over, I really need to talk to you” Spencer rambled as he was closely inspecting your apartment. There was something about the place, that somehow made it all feel like home even if it was on the opposite end of the country, althought deep down, he knew it wasn’t something, it was someone

“Please take a sit, and you better have a hell of an explanation to be here in San Francisco, because I’m not buying the idea that you’re here because you love me” you said, sitting on the couch across from where Spencer was standing

“I made a mistake, when we were in Quantico” Spencer started and you couldn’t help but cut him off with a sour smile, as your eyes starterd to accumulate tears. Sure, you had done everything in your power to just shove down the feelings to the bottom of your heart, and somewhow you were succedeing, but having the man you once loved, speaking about the most painful day of your life wasn’t easy

“If you’ve come here to state the obvious, you can just save your breath” you scoffed, trying to avoid his gaze

“I need you to hear me out, please” Spencer pleaded, and your heart couldn’t help but shatter a little with the amount of hurt that was accumulated both in his eyes, and his voice

“Alright, you got the floor to speak, but you can’t blame me for thinking this is riddiculous Spencer, you broke me, you had me all for yourself, and you decided to just… leave me” you said, feeling the tears roll down your eyes

“I got scared” Spencer said quietly, almost as a whisper

“Why were you afraid? I loved you with everything in me and more! There was no reason for you to doubt me!” you said, feeling both the pain and the anger building up in your throat

“I never doubted you! I was just… I was so afraid of something terrible happening to you… I just thought it’d be best to keep you away from me” Spencer replied, lowering his gaze

“What are you even talking about? You were afraid of something terrible happening to me? That’s why you decided it would be a good idea to just break my heart? Shatter all my dreams? Destroy the life we had planeed together?” you asked and Spencer couldn’t help but run his hands trough his hair in exasperation

“I don’t know how to explain this to you without sounding like a madman, or a religious freak; specially because I’m a man of science, but, please undertand me, statistically, all the people that I’ve loved either end up dead or terribly hurt” Spencer said and a chukle left your mouth before you could even realize

“Are you kidding me Spencer? Are you seriously telling me that you left me because you were somehow scared that you are cursed?” you asked in disbelief

“I’m not saying that I’m cursed! All I’m saying is that… I don’t know what I’m saying but I was trying to protect you! I love you so much, I’d hate myself if something happens to you because of me” Spencer pleaded. Sure, you knew it was wrong to laugh about people’s fears, and that everyone copes individually as they can, but this was just riddiculous to you

“Spencer, I work on the FBI with children and human traficking, I’m aware, actually, I’m certain that my name figures in more than one hit list, but that doesn’t stop me from living my life” you said, and you couldn’t help but feel that maybe if Spencer had the guts to talk about his feelings and fears out loud before, you wouldn’t be in this messy situation, hell, you’d probably even still be engaged

“I… I know that, and I’m so proud of you, and of your work but I… I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you, and just not being able to protect you” Spencer added

“Let me get this straigth, you were so afraid of losing me, you decided to just leave me?” you asked with an ironic tone as another laugh scaped your lips

“I mean… if you put it like that, I guess I did” he said, with a small chuckle

“Besides, how dare you think is romantic leaving me safe and stranded? Do you have any idea how much I cried over you? How many days I couldn’t sleep just wondering where did we go wrong? My God, Spencer! We almost had it all, I love you with everything in me and you just… let me go” you added with a bitter tone, as you tried to comprehend the Doctor’s train of thought

“I genuenly believed I was doing what was best for you” Spencer said without meeting your eyes

“Spence, you can’t live with the constant fear that something terrible is just going to happen, I understand that with our line of work sometimes even existing is complicated, but, you have to be brave” you said with a softer tone, trying to get Spencer to understand how out of pocket hhis fears were

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, if I could just somehow take it back, I would, I… I guess my anxiety got the best of me” Spencer said, this time with an embarrased tone

“Yeah, I imagine, but, as you know, that’s just not possible you” you added with a small smile, almost a pitty smile, because you counldn’t believe how unserious Spencer’s reason to call off the engagement was

“If you let me, I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life, I don’t care how much time I have to wait, I don’t even care if I have to move to San Francisco just to be with you! I’ll do anything, I’ll even marry you right here, right now, but please, give me another chance. Not a day goes by that I don’t love you! Hell, I even think I love you more today than I loved you yesterday, altough it’s not gonna be as much as I’ll love you tomorrow of the day after that” Spencer rambled, and you could feel your heart ache, for a whole month all you wanted, all you wished for was Spencer saying those words to you, but hearing them, now you were scared out of your mind

“I… I don’t think I can do this again, Spence” you said with a low voice

“Please y/n, I’ll do anything, I know deep down you still love me, maybe not as much as I love you, but it’s okay because I have so much love, I’ll just love you for the two of us” Spencer said with his eyes filling with tears

“I’m scared Spencer, how do I know you won’t jump ship again as easily as you did it last time?” you asked almost with a whispered. You figured out that if you were going to break his heart, at least you’d be straighfordward and honest

“I understand that you don’t trust me, or that’s scary, but you just told me that I can’t let my fears control my life… please, take a leap of faith with me” Spencer said stepping closer to the couch were you were sitting

“I don’t… I don’t know how, I already gave you my all once” you said, curling up on your couch like a wounded puppy

“Then let me prove to you that I mean it when I say I’ll give you my all, let me show you how serious I’m about spending the rest of my life with you” Spencer pleaded, taking your hand into his “I love you so much, I vow I won’t let anything come between us again, I don’t care if I have to fight a curse, a thousand unsubs, hitmen or whatever life throws at our way, I promise I’ll always stand by you… If you need to cry, I’ll be your shoulder, if you need protection, I’ll be your shelter, if you need to lean on, I’ll be your rock, but please, let me be everything and anyrthing you need” he added with teary eyes

“You get one chance, and we have a shit ton of things to figure out, but I swear if you screw up one more time, I’ll personally make sure to destroy you” you said with a teassing smile, and Spencer coulnd’t help but chuckle and plant a swee kiss on your lips

“I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure I don’t screw up again” he said, and you gave hijm another kiss

You knew it would be messy, and even a little embarrasing to anounce, but your heart somehow intertwined perfectly with Spencer’s. You knew you loved him with everything in you and somehow, you were convinced by his words aboout how much he loved you. At the end of the day, love is a bet, and you knew Spencer Reid was banned from every casino in Vegas because he was an expert on statistics, so maybe, with his head and your gut, the two of you’d find a way for your love to work out.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid

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nct-kiss · 11 months ago

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HWANG HANYUN

( face claim: jiu of dreamcatcher ) ( voice claim: lisa of blackpink )

Stage Name: Hanyun.

Birth Name: Hwang Hanyun.

Nationality: Korean.

Position: Leader, Lead Rapper.

Birthday: June 7th, 1996.

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Height: 165 cm (5'4'')

Weight: 51kg (112 lbs)

Blood Type: A

Representative Emoji: 🦋

Instagram: hwanyun_han

HANYUN FACTS:

She was born in Gunsan, South Korea.

Hanyun has an older brother and a younger sister.

Education: Lila Art High School.

Nicknames: Hangang River, Princess Hwang.

Her English name is Hazel.

Motto: Keep on keeping on.

She can speak Korean, Basic Japanese and Basic English.

She was scouted while she was visiting family in Seoul.

Before joining SM, she wanted to be a doctor- like her mother.

She prefers tea over coffee.

She likes eating a sweet breakfast.

She likes spending time at Chenle's house because she loves his dog, Daegal.

She's scared of insects, especially cockroaches.

She doesn't like Americano's.

She goes to the gym with Johnny often.

She has a dog called Kimchi, who lives with her parents.

She has a sweet tooth.

She said that she doesn't like drinking in public, but at home with people who are close to her.

During trainee days, she bleached her neon green after losing a bet to Haechan and Koyo.

She produces some of the songs for the group.

Her favorite movie is 'Epic'.

She was part of SM Rookies.

She can play the piano.

She doesn't like wearing dangly jewellery.

She got 'KISS' tattooed on her inner bottom lip in 2022.

She prefers calling instead of texting.

She's a heavy sleeper.

The members voted for her to be the leader.

She's the most easily scared one of the group.

She has a black belt in Karate.

taglist: @mosviqu @colourlikechampagne

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vad-hander · 4 months ago

Text

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.5

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

words: 7k

side note: as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

Your hand raised immediately to cover your opened mouth. Fuck. Yuta’s outside. Yuta came here to see you. After months of silence, he shows up so randomly?! You were almost mad how unprepared you were for this meeting.

Like, not even mentally, your appearance was fucking awkward. You danced for the past 5 hours in a room with barely any venting system. You sweated so badly your hair now looked like you didn’t wash it for a week, you were procrastinating in your bed aka waiting for your turn in the shower - because with the number of people on the floor two bathrooms were just not it, you literally had to wait in a queue to shower - so you were in your training sweats and shirt. Ah, you panicked. Your hands automatically reached for your brush - at least you’d braid the mess on your head and not make it too obvious you were fresh out of practice. You roughly ran the brush through your hair, the silent room now filled with you ripping through your hair and awkwardly enough - attracting everyone’s attention to you. How the hell were you supposed to make yourself look presentable without people questioning why you’re acting that way? You braided your hair quickly, trying not to pay too much attention to the curious eyes. You are, at the end of the day, planning to be famous - you have to be used to people watching you, tho its not really the same, but it should be the same in your head in order for you to not flip out. You found your lip balm and hid it in the pocket to not put it on so openly and ran out of the room in pure silence only to return a second after. “I-, ahem, I’m going to the CU, does anyone need anything?“

“Yeah, no.“ Jiwon gave you a weird look, crossing eyes with Sieun. Well, okay.

You didn’t have a second to think if you wanted to slow down or speed up or what you were going to say, you just ran out of the building without any thoughts. You just really wanted to see Yuta with your eyes. Just have him before you no matter how awkward this might be, just look at him. God, why did you not see him?! Your eyes ran across the entrance of the building one time and once again, because there wasn’t anyone. You walked off further into the street, turning the corner of the building, immediately meeting with Yuta’s eyes. You jumped in place and stopped. You weren’t sure if you should sprint off and hug him or let him take the lead. Yuta took a step towards you and you did so too automatically, meeting somewhere in-between. Yuta stared at you and his eyes were trying to drink in every feature on your face, while you were doing the same. You were trying to see if anything changed, if anything was different and it seemed like everything was not the same but at the same time he was just who you remembered him to be. It felt so weird, like some fever dream turn into live or more like a brimmed with romance k-drama moment where two leads finally meet each other after years of separation. The street lights and autumn breeze was adding up to the feeling. You blinked silently at the man like amoeba, not knowing what was the reason behind him coming here, what did he think of you and what you should be acting like in front of him now. What were you? Should you just ask him in the face? You seriously considered, since he watched you without saying a thing.

“I would say that I’m so happy you texted, but if I’m completely honest, I’m so confused at this point.“ you surprised Yuta by breaking the silence.

“Jaehyun told me you two were discussing… us?“ Ugh, he did? You recalled saying something to him along the lines of maybe you can ask him and tell me, but you didn’t expect him go out of his way and actually do it. One more UGH for Jeong Jaehyun. You were beyond conscious of what he might’ve said or discussed with Yuta.

“That’s pretty exaggerated.“ You weren’t discussing your relationship, you literally cut him off in like two sentences and continued with your exchange of random things that happened in your life in the time being you avoided him.

“Anyway.“ what was they sigh and the undertone of that word. Was he…pissed off? The tone of his voice was giving something between slight indifference and irritation.

“Yes, anyway.“ You felt a little more worked up just from the look he gave you. That’s very much not how you imagined the reunion with your boyfriend, or more likely ex-boyfriend by now. “So Jaehyun is the only reason you reached out after months of silence?“

“Yes and no. He told me about seeing you and I realised that I would’ve liked it for myself too. To see you, talk to you and everything else.“ Everything else is what…? Touching, hugging, kissing and …? You needed elaboration on this uncertainty.

“Okay.“ You gave him a nod, very much flabbergasted at the prospect of possibly kissing Yuta.

“Do you hate me? For leaving you to hang on for this long?“ his eyes pierced through yours. “I reckoned you’ll need a lot of time to process the transfer and new life and new people and I tried to give you space to work everything out. My own debuted and other things got in the way. I took too long and then was just scared and awkward to reach out.“

“But I messaged you. You could’ve said literally anything back.“

“I’m sorry.“ He did sound full of remorse, you’d give him that.

“Well at least you had more than enough time to think everything through.“ You cackled, not able to hold yourself back from coming at him.

“Right.“

“So… I guess you came here to give me the verdict?“

“I came here to tell you that I’ve been missing you so fucking bad. That I really badly want to talk to you and hug you again and kiss you again. I want to know everything that’s been happening to you recently. I texted you to see if you’d be able to forgive me for taking so long. So…will you forgive me? Are we still on the same page?“ He crushed the words at you like a cannon ball. They were things you wanted to hear, but somehow at the same time you were feeling uneasy at the confession. You had to tell him first thing that came into your mind otherwise the silence felt too deafening. Yuta gripped your palm as proof of what he felt.

“My company…. We have a very strict no dating policy. We’re not even allowed to have a simple crush. Literally anything relationship related is strictly prohibited.“

“You know that SM have all the same rules.“

“No-, like gawking over someone gets you to pack your bags and leave, Yuta.“

“Okay?“ He couldn’t understand where you led him, neither did you.

“And you’re a whole damn man, that comes to see me at night.“

“That’s why I didn’t come to the entrance where all those CCTV cams could see us.“

“Yeah.“ You gave him a nod but clearly didn’t acknowledge what he said properly, continuing on with what you were saying “Not even a year ago one of the guys at the company got his contract terminated because he was allegedly breaking the no dating rule. Our producer is very strict with those rules, he says it has to be at least 5 years before we should even think of dating. Otherwise we’re not dedicated enough.“ you paused because you would love to feel Yuta’s grip on your fingers. If he touched you, you would’ve stopped to crash these things at him.

“I see, you’re trying to refuse me.“ How would he make a conclusion like that when you didn’t even know yourself, what you were trying to do.

“No. I’m just stating facts. For you… to consider.“

“I have considered all those things. Nothing’s changed for me. I still find you very beautiful, I’m still deeply attracted to you.“ You felt a butterfly flop inside your chest. This was such a relief to hear - Yuta still wanted you.

“Me too.“ You half whispered, you really didn’t want to admit something like that out loud where people could see and hear you. You suddenly felt a little conscious doing these things in front of your literal dorm, where you didn’t have friends, but a whole damn building of people that would happily sneak on you to free one more spot in the competition, but the man in front of you didn’t feel the same way. Yuta moved his foot a step forward, knocking it against your shoe. His fingers laced through yours once again in such electrifying movement you almost lost all your consciousness and leaned in to kiss him. Yuta pulled you towards him, taking a couple steps back from the lit up pavement, to the more dark and private space under a tree.

“Fuck, I really missed even simply holding on to your fingers.“ Yuta sighed miserably. He squeezed your hands like he regretted every previous decision he made and you believed the boy that stood right in front of you. You believed because despite not making a lot of moves to reunite yourself, you longed and waited and held that little something you had between you close to your heart. You believed you were loving him, because you couldn’t say you knew for sure, you didn’t know much about love enough to state it. You loved your dad, because he was your parent, he took care of you, understood you, listened to you, helped you through hardships, took your side when everyone - or more accurately your mom - were against you. You loved Jaehyun, because he was the first person in your life that could understand you. With no mockery, jealousy or humiliation. He reached for the same goals and understood you completely. In addition to that, he knew how to make you smile, how to make you feel better, when you were down. He seemed to genuinely care for you and who you were, he cared for every little thing you told him or showed him. You loved him because his ways of being your friend helped you become a good one for him, or at least, you were hoping you were still in the process to become one. You loved him just because he was Jaehyun, your best friend, your first friend in SM and your first best friend in the whole wide world.

But Yuta… you felt like you loved him because when he kissed you that first time, your whole being flipped. You don’t remember how or why you existed before that. At first you were obviously, clearly very much shocked at the action. A) you were a baby back then, you didn’t really think of anything like that; b) you were scared of anything related to attraction to other people since something like that would clearly take a toll on your success and debut - and maybe it already did - and you just didn’t want to admit. You were loving Yuta in a completely different way - in a way what you considered a grown woman love a grown man. Not sure if the type together forever kind of love, but together for a long time type of way. You were feeling that heaviness of excitement in your chest now that Yuta was staring at you like that. Your feelings might’ve started to feel like nothing in the past weeks, because you were busy and alone and maybe a little hopeless, but him being here right now made it overwhelming.

“Me too.“ You meowed in his hold. You weren’t able to talk properly, to stand your ground - no way at all. You were mushy in his hold, if he’d pull your hands down, you’d fold right before him in a second.

“I still am very much in love with you.“ He leaned in and brushed his lips over your cheek. You felt heated in a nano-second, squeezing Yuta’s fingers tighter in your hold. You tried to free one of your hands to hug his waist, but his fingers felt like claws over yours.

“Me too.“ You whispered breathlessly as your mouth tried to find Yuta’s, lick into it even for the briefest moment and then do whatever the hell he would want to, but he moved away and you found it in yourself to talk. “I have to be honest. This company, it really can’t be compared to SM, everything is different and I’m scared. Of how this is going to go, I’m scared that someone is possibly watching us right now and I’m going to get kicked out tomorrow. I am so scared that following what my heart wants in love department will ruin what I want to have in my career. I fear that having a boyfriend is going to end things for me. Maybe for you too. We’re risking a lot. So much, Yuta.“

“It’s fine.“ Hm? What does he mean it’s fine…? “Just don’t tell them I’m your boyfriend, just a guy friend from way back. We won’t put a label on it for everyone to see. There’s Jaehyun and there’s me, no difference for everyone else. No one should care about what we’re doing in privacy, when being with each other. Who would care to find out that the difference between me and Jaehyun is that I’m desperately in love with you? Well, huh, wait.“ Yuta paused, smirked and raised an brow at you with his signature playful smile. “How does that make me any different from Jaehyun then?“ Yuta smarted quickly, full on beaming so proud of his own joke. You punched his shoulder playfully, finally being able to get away from his grip. Now that he made jokes about Jaehyun, it almost felt like nothing at all changed.

“Congratulations, boo.“ Jaehyun shoved a bouquet in your face. You smiled, taking the flowers from his grip, giving them barely a glance as your hand turned them facing down. Your eyes darted from one corner to the other, not focusing on Jaehyun even for the slightest second. If you did though, you would’ve noticed how his smile turned downwards as his eyes soaked in your indifference. You were thankful that he came, you were so happy he came for you, but there was a main question that needed to be asked.

“Where’s Yuta?“ You asked impatiently. Jaehyun’s eyes, that lit up upon your attention on him extinct as he heard your question.

“Don’t know.“ He had to clear his throat before replying.

“Don’t you live together?“ You scrutinised Jaehyun, almost too accusatory for such a public instance.

“I’m sorry.“ Jaehyun lowered his gaze to the ground, hitting your heart with a pang and maybe finally bringing you back to your senses. You smiled apologetically, almost poking his cheek at how terribly cute he looked with his head down, apologising for not knowing whereabouts of your not-boyfriend-boyfriend. You pressed Jaehyun’s bouquet to his chest and he jerked his head up in fear at first, relaxing as he saw your soft face expression. Did he think you were going to throw those flowers at him? You almost felt hurt that your best friend thought you were a bitch.

“You have nothing to apologise for. You came to my graduation despite being a very busy boy.“ You murmured as softly as possible being surrounded by hundreds of other school graduates. Jaehyun showed you his dimples and you took a step forward, keeping the flowers to his chest. “You’re the very best, as usual.“ Jaehyun chuckled and tapped the top of your head.

“Don’t“ he beamed, pleased.

“And very sweet, you didn’t have to buy me peonies.“ You ogled properly the flowers, to not ogle over Jaehyun. His hand on the top of your hair felt like lava dripped down from where he touched you. It felt too hot, despite it being very early February. You found his hand with your free one, touching his palm with yours and making sure it wasn’t even hot, it was your body having thermoregulations issues.

“You came to my graduation, I came to yours. That’s what best friends do, boo.“ Jaehyun wiggled your fingers in his hold, making you emotional. That’s what best friends do, then what the f is the boyfriend doing - not coming to one important thing in your life.

“I think ‘boo’ has romantic under text, Jaehyun.“ you chuckled, processing what he called you. “Someone might overhear us and think we’re romantically involved.“ You chuckled at the thought, it seemed a little funny to you, when your eyes still searched for Yuta with peripheral vision.

“It’s only romantic if you make it sound this way. I was envisioning boo like a ghost, because you’ve been more of a ghost in my life for the past half a year. You’ve been ghosting me, boo.“ He smirked as he smarted his last sentence, and you swallowed a chuckle, moving your head disapprovingly. You hugged him instead of an answer, squeezing the flowers between your bodies because you felt weird and thought it’d be a great shield from direct contact with his body. “Love you.“ Jaehyun whispered lowly above your ear, his arm squeezing your shoulders, the other one patting your back. “Not romantically, in case you’ve started to imagine things.“ He chuckled and you couldn’t stop yourself from pinching his side.

“Shut up.“ You tried to wiggle out of the hug, Jaehyun’s fingers only gripping tighter onto your shoulder. “I love you, too.“

“I hope no one’s taking pics, huh.“ Jaehyun immediately let go of you, pulling back up the face mask on his face, as if the past 10 minutes weren’t enough to recognise him for whoever wanted to recognise him.

“I’m here for Jungkook’s graduation.“ he pushed the flowers against your chest once again and took a very big step back. “I don’t even know you. Who are you, again?“ He squeezed his eyes like he couldn’t see you and you shrugged. He was talking at least two times louder, like he couldn’t hear you through the crowd and you needed to keep up with him.

“Don’t know you either… are you sure you’re Jungkook’s friend? I don’t think he ever mentioned you.“ Your pointing finger made a zigzag in the air, like it could help you remember something. “Do you even see him?“ You smirked because Jaehyun have not stepped a foot away from you since the moment he arrived and it didn’t seem like he was trying to look for anyone else.

“Just lost him out of my sight.“ Jaehyun scratched his forehead like he tried to remember which direction his friend went.

“I see.“ You nodded, smiling because Jaehyun couldn’t keep his face straight. He shoved the flowers against your face to hide you from him.

“Oh! Jaehyunie!“ You heard an exclamation from behind.

“My princess!“ You jumped in place, quickly turning to find the source of that sound, finally training your eyes on the man that tried to crawl through all students and families.

“Dad!“ You exclaimed and lost yourself in a hug.

“Congratulations, I’m so proud of you.“ Your dad kissed both your cheeks, before one more bouquet appeared before your eyes.

“Thank you.“ You smiled and kissed your fathers cheek in return.

“Come here, greet your mother.“ Your mom called for you, somehow her hand settled on Jaehyun’s wrist, the deadly grip making it impossible for him to disappear. You gave your mom a quick hug, and allowed her to kiss your cheek. “We should take a photo together. Jaehyun, take one for us.“

“Of course, ma’am.“ Jaehyun bowed like a well-trained puppy and showed you his dimples for encouragement. Your mum forced the face mask off his face somewhere in the process, you laughed.

“One, two, say kimchi.“ He pressed onto the cameras button and the sound of shutter let you know the photo was taken.

“Now with your mom only.“ Your father pressed you into your mothers side and forced you to smile, taking the camera out of Jaehyun’s grip. He stood there awkwardly, next to your dad like he was next in line for something. Another sound of shutter. “Now with me only.“ Your dad took the spot next to you and you tried to pose more enthusiastically than before. Click and the pic is done. Jaehyun blinked quietly, when it felt like a perfect que for him to exit the scene, your dad made it impossible “With Jaehyun now, too!“

“It’s fine.“ Your friend protested as he read confusion on your face. It wasn’t even confusion, you just wanted a picture with Yuta on your graduation day and you were not getting one and you were hurt. You would trade a photo with Jaehyun in a heartbeat to one with Yuta. You anyway had hundreds of pics with Jaehyun, it wouldn’t hurt if you had one less.

“No, come here, Jungkook’s friend.“ you gestured for him to get to you.

“Okay, princess.“ He mocked, making the tone of his voice funny trying to impersonate your dad. You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance, immediately being gagged by your own body when Jaehyun’s arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his side. Your head turned to see Jaehyun, because you were flabbergasted all of a sudden and needed to see if he felt any of that. Seemed like he didn’t, he cracked a smile, showing off his dimples, fingers of his free hand forming a V. Sound of shutter and there you have a picture of you staring up at Jaehyun. “One more!“ You shout before anyone could move from their place.

Jaehyun, thank god, moved his hand off your waist to drop it on top of your head and smiled once again. You smiled too, snugging an arm over his waist this time.

“One, two, three, kimchi!“ Your dad announced loudly and you tickled Jaehyun’s side, forcing a chuckle out his throat. It sounded so unusually low you needed a second to process what that was, because he suddenly make your insides tremble with how low that sound was. You stole a quick glance at Jaehyun, seeing how that tickle made his whiskers appear, you prayed he’d have them visible in the photo too.

You unglued yourself from your best friend when the two of you stood too close for too long.

“Who’s Jungkook?“ Your mom wondered.

“Jaehyun’s friend that graduates today too.“ You stated the simple truth.

“Do you know him?“ What did she mean by that? Why did she care? Oh god.

“Jaehyun, do you want to join us for celebratory lunch? Of course, if only your schedule allows you to join us.“ Your dad slightly bowed like Jaehyun was some sort of serious politician, sportsman or at least a senior to him.

“He’s a celebrity now! Of course he doesn’t have time to dine with us!“ Your mom waved off your father at the silly suggestion.

“No, no, mr and missis y/l/n, I would gladly join your lunch to celebrate graduation of your daughter.“ Jaehyun almost bowed 90 degrees in deepest reverence for your parents and you had to physically catch his shoulder mid way to stop him at least at 45 degrees.

“Ah! Jaehyunie! The tone of your voice, it’s so deep and charming! I can’t believe it, just last time I saw you it wasn’t like that“ Your mom hid her face in her hands in shock, she acted like a whole different person when it came to Jaehyun, you hated how she couldn’t do the same to Yuta, or you. You really didn’t want to remind her she saw him more than a year ago and that his voice has been this way for a little while.

“It just happened overnight.“ Jaehyun chuckled, his ears suddenly turning pink, as he walked in front of you with your parents. You wondered if you’d trail off the route, how quickly they’d notice you were gone.

“What is this?“ you felt a rush of warmth throughout your body, making your palm immediately sweaty in Yuta’s hold. You don’t know exactly why would you ask the question, when you could see very clearly for yourself the words above the entrance. Motel. And the door was graced with a piece of paper, that read hourly rates applicable. You felt warm rashes through your body every time you read those words and if you continued you most likely would’ve fell on the floor from high blood pressure. The door opened and you tore your hand from Yuta’s hold, hiding your face even more behind the mask and the cap you wore. You had another rash of sweat down your spine as you saw people walk down the stairs, both the man and the lady looked like they had sex just a minute ago, which honestly most likely wasn’t a mistake. It was an hourly motel, at the end of the day.

“A place, where you and I can be one on one with no fear of being seen, disturbed or whatever.“ Yuta found your hand once again and squeezed it.

“It’s an hourly motel.“ You said out loud and felt even more sweat form on your lower back. If Yuta wasn’t able to distinguish your feelings by your face that hid behind clothing, he should’ve definitely felt it in the tone of your voice. You almost lost balance on your two feet as another couple walked past you, this time inside the building and if it wasn’t for Yuta’s grip on you, you would’ve took off away right then and there.

“Yes, it doesn’t matter. Does it? You and me together is the only thing that matters.“

“What if someone sees us?“ Your throat gave up on you as the thought gave you a whiplash.

“Trust me, just trust me. Come on.“ Yuta moved your body in front of his, grabbing your face with his hands. Despite your endless will to trust him, you were having second hand thoughts on the idea. “Do you really want to leave? I promise you, I really tried to pick a good one. Coming in or leaving?“ Yuta asked concerned, now that he was able to see your eyes he could very clearly tell that you were concerned - well who wouldn’t - and tried to make you feel better.

“Coming in.“ your voice sounded weaker than usual. Yuta smiled and kissed your face, where he’d guessed through the mask your mouth was and dragged you behind himself.

“Why are you not taking the mask off?“ Yuta glanced quickly at your unmoving body on the corner of the bed, before continuing with whatever he was doing in his backpack. The thing did seem packed to the brim and you were curious what Yuta had in there, before he brought you to the hourly motel. It did look nice inside, despite the room being small and obviously cheap - it was relatively fresh renovation and almost didn’t look like you rented this thing for 5 hours, though you couldn’t kill the thought of people coming in here to specifically have sex, and you couldn’t stop thinking on the number of people that had sex in this exact room and you couldn’t stop thinking how you most likely are going to end up doing the same thing and what’s even worse than that, you couldn’t stop thinking-

“What if there’s a hidden camera? Or worse… many cameras?“ You couldn’t even lift your hand to reveal your face to possibly hidden viewers in this room.

“What?“ Yuta chuckled at your -ridiculous- suggestion, before swallowing and leaving his backpack alone to stand in front of you. The bed had tall legs, allowing Yuta to not bend too much to be on your level. His fingers squeezed your cheeks and forced the face mask down your face. “I wouldn’t bring you to some weird ass place with sperm sprayed all over the walls.“ Well, good, but still, you would’ve appreciated an actual hotel much more. “I heard good things about this place from my friends… well, because not everyone is Jeong Jaehyun with an apartment in Apgujeong.“ there was no emotion in the tone of his voice, he was just saying things he thought, but it stung so fucking badly how he always had to put Jaehyun in comparison. Even if his family home was in the most expensive district of Seoul, it didn’t mean Yuta was any poor coming here from Japan. He was poor because in the circumstance he was a foreigner with no home and was sent a certain amount by his parents, not because he didn’t have any money at home. It wasn’t about Jaehyun or this place or anything else at all. It was about you and Yuta, but somehow he wanted it to be about someone else too. “Anyway, my friends come here sometimes, it’s not too low class, at least these sheets are clean, okay? Once I have a better option, we won’t have to do it like that.“

“Okay.“ You gave Yuta an unnoticeable nod, his lips brushing the corner of your lips in reply.

“There’s no hidden cam, don’t even think of such things. I wouldn’t bring you to a place like that nor would I risk my very real career for a fuck.“ Very real as if in what you were doing wasn’t that real? Or were you trying to read between the lines too much because you were in a very smitten mood. Almost in a mood where if you weren’t your usual mushy self when it came to Yuta you would’ve stood up and left. Because this was making you feel uncomfortable to an extent you can’t describe. “It’s your birthday, I just wanted us to be together. I have a surprise, close your eyes.“ Yuta smiled at you sweetly, like when he wanted you to do things he wanted and you didn’t. You gave him a smile too, because you were getting all grumpy and unfriendly because whatever this was didn’t meet with your expectations. You pecked his lips and closed your eyes with a smile on your lips that hurt a little, because you were trying really hard not to think of your last birthday, when Jaehyun invited you to that Apgujeong home and made you feel happy.

You listened to Yuta’s shuffling, probably in that backpack of his, finally you felt his knees bump into yours as he got back in front of you and you felt his fingers wrap around yours. “You can open your eyes.“ And you did so on command, met with a view of Yuta in a birthday hat, throwing a spiral confetti in your face. “Happy birthday!“

“Thank you.“ You smiled, flinching as the thrown confetti almost hit your face. Yuta’s now free hand pushed your cap off your head, forcefully putting on a party cone that said birthday girl. You chuckled sincerely, helping Yuta with the elastic band over your chin.

“I love you, birthday girl.“ you beamed because despite what you just thought and felt you loved him too. Yuta leaned in to you a little more making the ring on his necklace visible from his shirt, you didn’t even have a second to think, you just leaned in and kissed his mouth, because there was nothing else to do. The past year have been very tough on the both of you. You started it off badly with your transition and after that long break of not talking to each other you rebuild what you had in a very low-key manner. Too low-key even for your liking, you couldn’t imagine what Yuta felt like. You could quite possibly count on your fingers the number of times the two of you kissed, so kissing him like this felt a little unreal. Just your lips on Yuta’s, being able to move slowly, marking every bit of his mouth with love and need, to be in his arms and continue kissing him like that. You invited Yuta’s tongue in your mouth, as he moved it slowly against your closed lips. He finally grabbed onto your neck, allowing for you to slightly back up against his hold, because it was hard for you to hold your composure. You almost forgot how good of a kisser Yuta was - not that you had anyone to compare it to - your tongue licked against his and as your body leaned back against the mattress, Yuta chased your mouth, not wishing to break the kiss even for a moment, finding balance next to your shoulders. “You’re making it incredibly hard to focus on anything else, my love.“ Yuta found it in him to pull away for a moment, only to lean back in and kiss your cupids bow, pressing his nose against your cheek.

“What were you planning to do, bringing me to an hourly motel?“ You chuckled, not even annoyed anymore, just curious because it did sound a little funny to you.

“We probably spent less than 24 hours together in a whole damn year since your last birthday. Doing anything together is fine. I mean it when I say I miss you.“ Yuta bit onto his lip, staring you down. “I haven’t seen you up close like this probably in a whole fucking year, and you’re my girlfriend. How ridiculous is that?“

“I always think of that time we went to Japan and had a real nice date. That is the sweetest thing anyone ever did to me.“

“Me too, I always think about that night.“ Yuta’s lips kissed your jaw, as his body dropped on the bed next to you, unable to hold his bodyweight with his arms any longer. “When your first vacation comes, first thing we’re doing - a trip anywhere, just you and me.“

“Promise?“ Your heart chirped, that’s exactly a promise you needed from him.

“Yes, love, promise.“ Yuta cosied himself on the mattress, snaking both his hands to lay half of you on top of him.

“What if our schedules don’t ever match up?“ You worried.

“I don’t think it’s possible for us to never match in schedules. Don’t worry, I’ll make it work for you.“ Yuta’s fingers trailed a line from your elbow to the shoulder. You had to swallow, because you really wanted to ask him why would he not make it work for your school graduation when Jaehyun did make it work. Jaehyun, who was a little busier with schedules than Yuta, you needed to be a blind fool to not notice how your friend had side gigs and Yuta didn’t. He had no excuse to not come, the thought been eating you up for months. You had to swallow it once again, because you didn’t want to fight, because maybe not saying a thing about it now, months after, was the best thing for you. Maybe Yuta couldn’t even remember by now, since he never brought it up himself.

You rolled your arms before your body, bouncing slightly on the floor to the beat, as the last beat approached, you counted in your head 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, and stood up gracefully with a turn in the ending pose. After a pause for not longer than 5 seconds you heard intensive clapping and even sounds of encouragement behind you. 5 people in front of you though kept their faces emotionless, but somehow it didn’t faze you anymore. They always tried to keep that mysterious aura, fear everyone to insecurity and plain panic, but if you worked hard they didn’t usually say a bad thing-or more likely you didn’t hear them say bad things to you and others-, well, you developed an ability of turning your brain off as soon as your bum met with the floor and you weren’t sure how things went for others. It’s been a year and you still didn’t make many friends in the company and at this point pretty much gave up and kept everyone as friendly acquaintance. At least they didn’t want to be mean in your face, fake friendliness you could bare with. Everyone clapped and cheered because it’d paint them as supportive friends and good people - more points when it comes to evaluations. You knew the rule and followed it yourself, this clearly wasn’t the place to be not like other girls, but it didn’t change anything.

You bent a little and caught your breath in two heavy breathes, straining your back back at the evaluation committee.

“Good.“ Your choreographer nodded to fellow evaluators. “Questions, notes, grades?“

“Could you share with us why you chose the choreography and the song?“ Mr.Lee, the creative director asks you.

“Theme of this month is hip-hop, we had guest choreographers this month that helped us improve our hip-hop skills. I wanted to do something fresh and relevant, something that would allow for you to see my improvement, but wouldn’t be a copy-paste of things we did in class. Seemed like a perfect choice.“ You noticed a slight nod in the oratory teachers’ head, you breathed in satisfied - you definitely checked off a box in her list.

“Wasn’t the song released on Wednesday? You learned it in one day?“ your choreographer continued with the questions, only to be interrupted by JYP himself.

“You didn’t prepare for the evaluation well? Choosing a song so new is very irresponsible.“ The song was released just a day ago, they were right, but you did prepare for the evaluation thoroughly. You’ve been learning this choreo whenever you had an opportunity to see or hear Yuta, whenever the two of you face timed or very rarely talked in person. You would’ve told them the truth if it didn’t borne more questions and awkward stares. Your only option was to claim you were able to learn it in one glance.

“No, I was preparing GOT7’s Never Ever, but heard the NCT song yesterday and thought how it clearly fits the hip-hop theme better. Changed my choice last minute.“ Yes, you somehow had the crazy idea of doing Cherry Bomb for the monthly evaluation in a day after it was released. You hoped it was believable you were able to learn the dance in a day. They looked at you for a few seconds and you didn’t understand the meaning behind the stare. “I believe I was able to show my own colour while following the choreography flawlessly and be on theme.“ You stated confidently, they tried to push you into insecurity - it was their way of doing things, one of already debuted artists at the company shared the life hack. Stand your ground and talk confidently - they’ll accept any answer as long as they don’t see you flinch at persistence.

“If you learned the choreo that flawlessly in a day it’s impressive.“ Your choreographer smiled at you in a very low-key manner and you bowed, to show your gratitude and hide traces of a smile you swallowed.

“Did you learn the whole dance or just the dance break?“ Your eyes darted back at JYP that seemed curious.

You knew by heart the whole thing through Yuta’s part. The only reason you chose the dance break hid behind the fact that somehow NCT had the most embarrassing dance moves throughout the song and doing all those jumps and weird hand movements in front of all these people on your own would’ve killed you. For real. The dance break plus last chorus including that part where you had to drop on your back for the ending point was the perfect fit for the 60 seconds you were given to perform.

“I learned most of the song, but I enjoyed the dance break and chorus the most, thus decided to show that part.“

“Okay, I have nothing to add. If you’re ready, we can get to singing.“ you nodded and took a step to the mark on the floor.

You had a tingling sensation of nervousness at the back of your neck. It was always advised to not take long to start off, otherwise you could possibly be asked to step away as unprofessional. You took a breath and made a sound with your throat.

“Ah, I heard you took first place in your evaluation group.“ Yeji smiled at you, you gave her a barely noticeable nod as you and a bunch of other people left the elevator. “Cool, that means we’re training in the same group for the upcoming month.“ You stopped midway as you were pulling your mask up, almost automatic move as you were leaving the building.

“You placed first?“ You exclaimed, your voice resonating probably through the whole hall. She gave you an excited nod, and you felt so happy for her. She worked so hard to beat everyone this time and you jumped excitedly, squeezing the girl in front of you excitedly. She clearly was taken aback for a moment, hence the two of you never hugged or had much physical contact in the past year, but you felt happy for her and maybe felt like it was the time to break the wall. You let go of Yeji, grabbing her wrists next and jumping excitedly, making the girl hyped up and jump with you. “Yay! Yeji, I’m so proud of you.“ Your fingers squeezed the life out of her wrists. “They want us to do duet for this month, to see how well we work in smaller teams.“

“Really? I haven’t heard of this months’ theme yet. If you don’t have a partner yet, it’d be such an honour for me to pair up with you.“

“Stop! It’s no honour and I would love to work on something with you.“

“Yay!“ She clapped and her pretty eyes and smile made you so happy. You genuinely felt happy for her, you genuinely felt proud. You felt a little flare up in your chest that you didn’t want it to ignite too much, but the thought crossed your mind anyway. If only we could debut together.

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cosmos-coma · 2 years ago

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