#slashers incorrect quotes

[mostly-ghostly-hotel]

Brahms Heelshire: Look, my only crime is caring too much. I mean, yeah, there has been some murder and a little kidnapping, but caring too much is the real problem.

[adalwolfgang]

Bo: if a hot person disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles

(…..): well maybe you should have principles

Bo: you're right maybe I should.

(Credit to demigoddessqueens for the idea to recreate this)

[gen0c1de]

Based on something I actually did with a friend and should've been charged for but the dude who owns the property was chill-

Y/N and Stu: Walking into Stu's house.

Billy: "Y/N, why do you have an arrow?"

Y/N: "I got it from the abandoned shack down the road! Stu and I accidentally ripped the window off the building and so we climbed in to explore it!"

Stu: "The floor was caved in, dude. Y/N almost fell in it!"

Billy: "You mean the old hunting club cabin? The one that has the driveway go past it and the guy who owns the property AND the shack lives?"

Stu: "...someone owns that shack...?"

Billy: "Yes!"

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

Jennifer and Y/N arguing over which Slasher gets to be their 'Back up' (Back up husband in case they dont find anyone by 40).

Y/N: Alright!, you know what!? I know how we're gonna settle this. Alright, here- this is what we're gonna do.

Y/N: I am gonna write Freddy on one napkin and I'm gonna write Jason on the other napkin, and we are going to pick one.

Y/N: And that person is gonna be our back up!

Y/N: Okay here we go- *Shuffles the napkins around so no one knows which is which anymore, then holds them behind their back* Uhuh- Okay, pick one.

Jennifer: Uhh, hmm... left!

*Jennifer and Y/N read their napkins*

Y/N: uh- Jason!

Jennifer: ... Freddy.

Y/N: ... hm

Jennifer: Hm.

Y/N: ... we should just switch-

Jennifer: *Handing over her napkin immediately* Yep-

[2braincellslz]

Billy loomis: where's Billy?

Stu: I got this.

Stu: *ahem*

Stu: SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY!

*rythmatic clapping from the attic*

[issdisgrace]

Y/n *out of nowhere*: If a 178lb person fell from a 15 floor building how many feet would they fall in a second

Hannibal: Where do these questions come from my love

Y/n: I don’t know, my brain

Hannibal: Sigh, they would fall about 15 feet per second meaning they would impact the ground in about 10 seconds.

Y/n: Cool

*Cue Y/n going back to what they were doing before their question*

[sea-lanterns]

The Final Girl: A-Are you gonna kill me?

The Slasher Women: No I’m gonna kill other people and you’re gonna be my girlfriend! :D

[theres-a-body-here]

Sable: "When meeting new people remember to keep it light and casual. Use our conversation starters if you get in trouble"

(Y/N), nodding along: "Light and casual, got it"

~~~~

(Y/N), throwing themselves at the Killer's feet: "I LOVE SWEATY, EVIL, AND VIOLENT MEN, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!"

Screams and yells echo through the realm as the killer frantically attempts to shake off (Y/N) from their thighs

~~~~

Sable, panicking and holding her head: "He's pulling the freak-off card THIS EARLY?"

Mikaela, looking through binoculars: "If he u-turns the topic back to the Mori Rework we might clutch this"

[lapislarson]

Norman: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Ghostface: Not if they consent to it.

Michael Myers: Depends on who you stab.

Y/N: YES?!?

[mauswyx]

unkie tommy on babysitting duty

[slashv1xen]

incorrect quotes - dating bo sinclair

idk either but enjoy <3

you: “my hands are cold”

bo: “put them in my pants”

you: “would you take a bullet for me?”

bo: “i’d do anything for you”

you: “really?”

bo: “of course, except eat mushrooms. those things are fuckin’ nasty”

[mostly-ghostly-hotel]

Y/N: One of these days, I’m going to say “fight me” to the wrong person and they’re just going to deck me.

Michael Myers: Oh, that day is closer than you think.

[adalwolfgang]

POV: Bo in the hospital (drugged with anaesthetic) ft. Fem!(Name).

*(Name) resting her hand on his chest as Bo starts to wake up.*

Bo, half out of it: My wife will get upset if she sees you touching me like that on my chest.

(Name), trying not to laugh: I am your wife.

*Bo looks you up and down before giving a goofy smirk. All of a sudden the heart rate monitor starts beeping like crazy.*

Bo, in a sultry voice: Sup~

[gen0c1de]

A/N: a literal conversation I had with a friend around Christmas my senior year of high school. I’m Jewish by the way. If you get offended easily then this is NOT for you. I was laughing so hard I needed my inhaler, I give my friends permission to make these jokes around me mostly because I don’t care.

Y/N: “Y’know, I know way more Christmas songs than I do Hanukkah songs.”

Billy: “Wait wait wait wait… there’s Jew music?”

Y/N trying not to laugh: “Yes there’s fucking Jew music.”

Stu: “Oh yeah! I’m sure one of them would go-“

Stu now singing: “Please don’t gas me.”

Y/N laughs: “You’re lucky I don’t get offended by this shit.”

Billy baffled by Stu’s stupidity and lack of a filter: “Stu, what the fuck-“

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

Pam, talking to Jason via hell-to-earth Facetime: Hundreds of fangirls are interested in you??...

Jason: *nodding his head solemnly*

Pam: ... I may have prayed a little too hard.

// Alternatively //

Luda Mae: More then one person is interested in you??...

Thomas, with Stu and Carrie behind him: *Nods, like yeah apparently*

Luda Mae: ... I may have prayed a little too hard.

[i-heart-slashers]

Max: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Dwayne: Nope, absolutely not. Paul: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Marko: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Michael: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. David: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.