#skit contest
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snl wishes they could be this funny prepared, let alone off the cuff. nobody has perfected the art of comedic timing like zac oyama has but also, nobody could work with other comedians well as these guys do.
#i watched the snl skit they’re referring to and it’s so unbearably unfunny#it’s some guy talking about a podcast idk#it drones on for so long#unsurprisingly make some noise did it much better#and yes i realize that msn is merely a ripoff of whose line is it anyway#but does whose line have you feeling as parasocial to the contestants as this show does#whenever i see kimia behpoornia on my tv screen i go feral#and it’s because of this show#i would never want to pit two bad bitches against each other#good thing snl isn’t a bad bitch#make some noise#josh ruben#zac oyama#brennan lee mulligan#bleem#dropout#sam reich#snl#saturday night live#tiny desk concert
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#cosplay#cosplayer#cosplay tips#masquerade#cosplay contest#tips and tricks#cosplay skit#cosplay tutorial
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Yes I'm read a whole bunch of hp fanfic
No it's not marauders, you wanna know why? BECAUSE I WAS IN THE MARAUDERS AREA BACK IN 2015-2017
The cultural understanding of Marauders has shifted so much during that time that it is so hard to keep it straight in my brain. I tried. I simply do not get it
#i will always be a regulus girlie#but character houses and personalities have shifted so much#i read jegulus before it took off#there were so many good fixs (some of which have now been deleted and i wanna cry a bit rip lions den)#hp was a multi website fandom for me#it was the fandom that fully made me shift from fanfiction.net and quotev to ao3#do not cite the deep magic to me#i will dig into my old instagram favorits and likes and find proof#hp is an old love#a deep one#a hyperfix and a special interest that eclipsed my life unlike anything else#in no other fandom (including descendants) would i have or been able to win multiple trivia contests within a year of reading the books#it was my bread and butter#there will always be a desire of consumption for it#how else do u think a single well written skit pushed me back into the depths
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I have one month to finish two commissions and a cosplay.
No big deal, I've totally got this (lying)
#lynx thinks#the one commission is probably like... 1/4 of the way done?#aaaaaah#im gonna lose it y'all#i also need to figure out a skit if im gonna enter the cosplay contest as jaskier#its just a local con so theres not a lot of pressure to make it amazing but i want to try and do one!
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Still talking about cosplay competitions but this time WHAT GOES ON BEHIND THE SCENES IN PERFORMANCE JUDGING!!
#cosplay#cosplay contest#cosplay competition#masquerade#masquerade judging#cosplay contest judging#cosplay competition judging#perfromance#performance judging#skit#skit judging#cosplay guide#cosplay tips#cosplay tricks#cosplay tips and trick#cosplay youtuber#telekineticmaniac
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Fic idea: Mommy contest eunbi vs irene
Predator & Prey
Part Four of Dulce Periculum | Previous Part | Next Chapter
Red Velvet's Bae Joohyun (Irene) x IZ*ONE's Kwon Eunbi x Male Reader Smut
7,994 words
Categories | principal!Irene x (jealous)girlfriend!Eunbi x student!You, mommy kink, cunnilingus, oral double blowjob, snowballing, cumswap, degradation, female cucking
Surprise, it was a spoiler! Had to move the time to avoid posting in the night lol So... this is dedicated to @subfortwice, who ignites the Dulce Periculum universe, @idevian whose tutor Eunbi ask started it all, to my birthday twin @eunbisrabbit who had the idea of the collarbone thing, and to best boi @sinswithpleasure. I appreciate everything and every one of you guys! And again, sorry for the usual self-indulgent style that the whole Dulce Periculum series is based on XD and the barely edited fic. Eunrene just drive me crazy
“You little brat.”
That’s the first thing you say the next time you see Eunbi at school. Not even a “hi” or a “how are you,” but when she’s set you up to fuck her teacher and led you into a trap, it’s definitely a nice way to open your little story. This tiny little thing of a story going down, down, down the rabbit hole.
(Holes.)
It’s all her fault. She’s conveniently fended off your questioning of the incident at the Kwon household. Now, however, with her parents nowhere to save her from your schemes, you’ve got your eyes on her. Soon, your hands will be, too. She can’t escape now.
Eunbi squeals in fear and excitement when you run after her. Alright, so maybe she can escape. That’s fair. You bump through masses of walking students, trying to find her in the crowd. It's impossible to not identify her when her glasses and wavy hair give her away, so your eyes remain locked on her like a sniper. Your hands just itch to get on her.
Students pass you weird and amused looks. You and Eunbi, after all, are always on some dumb shit. However, you care not for it especially if ignoring them leads you to finally cornering your girlfriend in the backyard school garden. It's a dead end—no windows or doors are here for her to attract help. She's laughing, too, and screaming a little as you pin her to the high school building wall.
"Mmm, oppa," she giggles between her squirms and struggles, "stop—"
"You think you were slick, Eunbi?" you ask. Your fist keeps her wrists above her head. What a pretty little twist of fate—if she lured you into the trap that's Kim Taeyeon, now you're the one tying her up into your makeshift trap. It's more satisfying than seeing Jo Yuri get scolded. "For whoring me out to that teacher you're so obsessed with?"
She nods mindlessly. "Yesss."
"Brat." Kiss her. She giggles. Of course, that prompts several other kisses. "That's what you are, you know. A little fucking brat."
Your chest fills with happiness at how she smiles and laughs despite your teasing words. She knows you'd never do anything to hurt her. It's all a little fun play of words. A little skit, to be more truthful.
Speaking of, there's some factualness to your words, too, and she knows it. Eunbi's crushed on Taeyeon for too long and sees her as an actual mommy that she isn't jealous of your little getaway with her at all. She's probably prouder than you'd assume of her idea.
But of course, she denies it. Denies it with every inch of her annoyingly gorgeous body.
"Can you please forgive me, oppa?" Eunbi's eyes gleam. "I promise I won't slut you out to mommy again, I pinky promise!"
She's wearing the uniform Taeyeon borrowed, and thinking of how there's still some of your teacher on it, that there's a good amount of your cum embedded into its fabric, makes you more turned on than you should. Eunbi with her arms up in her tiny uniform is an added factor.
But then there's also a few more classes to attend. You can't fuck her here. You'd love to more than anything, yet Eunbi has her priorities, and you don't want to hold her back.
Release her hands. "One day I'll get back at you," you warn. "You're really gonna get it."
You let her off with a warning. You can be the cop here—you'd cuff her hands with your fingers, tack them to a wall or mattress, teach her a lesson. Tear that cheeky smile off her face and replace it with the lewdest expression. But you're a good cop, or at least, as good as one can get. You know it's what she wants: to be punished incessantly, so you're not giving it to her. It would be putting out fire with fire.
You turn her heel to leave. Like so, you leave her unfulfilled and needy, which is exactly how you want her to be.
"Oppa!" whines Eunbi. She runs after you. "I'm sorry!"
You shut your eyes and laugh. In hindsight, you really shouldn't have. It would have shown you a dash of a shadow mooring and watching, and prepared you for what will happen later on.
-
Let's just say later on a letter is written. You and Eunbi don't know it yet, but there is a letter—it's written in rehearsed formality, sent to the principal's office, and given by a person who's got more control than they should have.
So, again, just for context: there's real parchment sent to her that ties this whole story together. There's a dual meeting, and a whole lot of evidence. Keep that in mind.
-
It's one giant teenage hell in the classroom.
The boys are gaming on their phones with the Filipino exchange student, who introduced them to League of Legends. The girls have flocked to the bathrooms arm in arm, while the others stay behind to braid some of their classmates’ hair. There’s messy chalked writing on the blackboard, some too explicit to even be allowed (“Wan-pipty for wan subo," courtesy of the Filipino student, of course, and although you don’t understand his language, you have a good idea of what it means), and others promoting their favorite K-pop groups (“stan BLACKPINK, you uncultured fucks!!!!!”, to which someone has replied: “Doesn’t everyone?”).
But what else can you expect from a batch of eighteen-year-olds, especially when it’s vacant time?
That's right: exactly this.
Either-which-way, it’s a complete mess, is what you’re saying. There's no one around to keep the noisy mess contained, not even Eunbi, who's trying to vent her frustration through doodling on her notebook. She’s already drawn several plotless comics and a rabbit named Bi, but the noise still gets to her. It irks her soul so much that her hands squeeze up and loosen too much of a grasp on her pen.
Click. It bounces back up. You catch it with one swoop of your hand. You could be Spiderman in another life. Watch out, Tom Holland, or whatever.
“God,” she says, looking up from her notebook with a frustrated, sarcastic smile, “do these people ever shut up?”
You chuckle. You’re an open fan of Eunbi breaking her kind, forgiving character and just growing tired of everyone’s bullshit. It’s an occurrence rarer than thunder coming before lightning, a once-in-a-lifetime show only a select few are allowed to see. She’s too kind, really, that although she's the lead role, she bails out of it often.
Gesture to the messy classroom and say, in a matter-of-fact voice: “Welcome to senior year.”
“Can you tell them to be quiet?” she asks.
“Miss Myoui said only you can.” Quote her: “‘You’re the president, right? You go tell ‘em.’”
Right, Eunbi says to herself. She’s been wrapped up in too many responsibilities—captain of the volleyball team, president of every school club you can think of, plus end-of-the-year valedictorian just to name a few—that she forgets that these positions even hold meaning. It’s the norm for her to be given the highest positions in each category that it’s quite tiring, if she were to be honest. But she has her mother to please, along with herself. She can’t let either of them down.
Sighing, she leans back into her chair. “I just wish everything would, like, stop for a moment.” She closes her eyes, as if to dream of that being possible. Unfortunately, the world goes on with or without the fantasizing. “I wish I could get a break.”
“Hey.” You pat her thigh and caress it above her short school skirt. “Cheer up. You don’t have to be so excellent all the time. You can just,” wring a hand in the air for emphasis, “you know, be okay. Average.”
“But my mom…”
Sigh. You realize it’s easier said than done. While your parents are lenient and have gotten used to your low grades, your girlfriend’s aren’t that nice. You know that from your visits to the Kwon household. Her mother and father try to be subtle about the pressure, but there’s something in the air that passes and tenses that tells you there’s a lot more to the situation than you think. Whatever it is, it's clear that being a Kwon isn't that fun.
Sometimes you wish you could trade places with Eunbi and withstand her problems for her. You hate seeing her like this.
“Your mom?” a menacing new voice asks. “Or would you rather say… mommy?”
Eunbi’s eyes open suddenly and enlarge. She recognizes that word, and unfortunately, she remembers using it on someone she shouldn't have been with. So do you, for which you turn your gaze upwards.
Of course it’s Jo Yuri. She’s your mortal enemy dressed in deceiving innocent school uniform. She’s wearing a knowing smile on her face. It always means bad news, and right now, the main topic of it is you.
What does she know? Most importantly: why did she say that?
In your anxiety, you can’t even defend yourself or your girlfriend.
“Y-Yuri—” stammers Eunbi, the look in her eyes being one of a deer caught in headlights. She’s a terrible liar at heart, so even if she were able to finish her sentence, it would have come out oddly. Probably even add up to proof of her guilt.
Yuri smirks proudly. “I know all about your dirty little secret, Eunbi,” she says. “About what you did with professor Kim while everyone was at the Intrams… about what you called her…”
Every step she takes rounding your cluster spells trouble, and you can’t say you didn’t bring it upon yourself. However, you're still scared to death.
“Cut it,” you say. Even for a troublemaker, your voice trembles. Not a good look… er, sound, rather. “We don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Your head races with anxious thoughts and distress. How did Yuri know about that little session you had with Taeyeon? Were you guys that loud? Perhaps she had a source or spy nearby? You've no idea which one it is, and that's what scares you more than the consequences.
Eunbi's silent, refusing to speak. She looks anywhere but Yuri's eyes. Her ears are red and it's impossible to denote anything from the two of you but obvious guilt.
“Oh, is that so?” Yuri pouts mockingly. "Guess you'll have no reason to talk to principal Bae right"—she checks her watch, then smiles widely—"now."
The speaker attached to the wall of your classroom buzzes, catches the attention of everyone and says: "Will miss Kwon from 12-A and her boyfriend please come down to the principal's office?"
Okay, so maybe you are scared of the consequences just as much as you're scared of how Yuri found out.
Everyone's looking at you now. How could you feel so cold yet so hot at the same time? Everybody's eyes are burning holes in your skin, and your spine's undergone several chills that you feel numb already.
Are you even alive?
Your breaths are bated and Eunbi's shifting in her seat nervously. You should have seen this happening. Yuri's had a vendetta against the two of you ever since you and Eunbi got together. She's haughty, she's proud, she's rich—and for that, she's got her sources everywhere, can even manipulate official school results through pure influence. You hate yourself for being a terrible boyfriend and letting this happen to Eunbi.
Yuri smiles as you and Eunbi rise from your seats. She waves goodbye at you coyly, and leaves everyone in the room confused. Each one of them, even the boys gaming at the back, are wondering the same thing word-for-word: what happened?
-
You don't speak while taking the stairs with her, and neither does she. You don't tell her that you're dizzy from the curving paths and she doesn't say how cold her hands are. However, you both know so, since you're both reluctant and afraid to meet the principal and didn't expect it to reach this point. It's your fault and hers, equally split, the modern day Adam and Eve. Could Yuri be the snake? Would God banish you?
Probably, but you had it coming.
The steps you take are slow. You're afraid of what might come. But you suppose nobody's more afraid than Eunbi. She's the face of the school for the honors she's achieved. Everything can go wrong with one wrong move, and that's what this is. She put everything on the line, not expecting anything to happen, only for it to be taken all away.
Once you reach the ground floor, Eunbi suddenly grabs your wrist. Her small hand can only wrap around half of it, but her hold is tight. It carries meaning in its tightness, urging you to look at her.
"Oppa, j-just want to say…" She looks down at her school shoes in shame. "I'm sorry for pulling you into this."
You're not mad at her. You can never be. You're just… regretful. If you hadn't let lust propel your actions, maybe there wouldn't be reason for the two of you to be down here. You've been sent to the principal's office countless times, but this is the first time you're actually scared. What more when it's with Eunbi? She's never gotten in trouble before.
"Don't be," is all you say. "Let's just get it over with, okay? Together?"
Mold your hand to fit hers, and she's smiling again, in spite of what's about to come.
You make the first move to knock. Eunbi nearly cries as she watches your knuckles meet wood. You wrap an arm around her and enter.
Long time, no see. Bae Irene's office is as grand as ever. Seems like this is where the tuition fees go: grand marble floors, a statue of a naked Greek goddess, and a fine desk that sits in the center of the room. Certificates, awards, and medals stack the shelves and walls that put even Eunbi's achievements to shame. Perhaps they're what intimidate her more than the woman standing in front of the desk.
"Good afternoon, miss Bae," you say.
In certain angles, the principal looks just like Eunbi. Or maybe it's the other way around? The glasses don't help differentiate them. That makes you understand why people have a theory that there's a kind of narcissism in Irene that made her put Eunbi as the face of the school.
What else can you expect from Irene, anyway? She's older, wiser, and tougher. The last one bears repeating. That by itself should be good enough justification as to why you shouldn't have fucked Taeyeon, why you shouldn't be such a troublemaker. God knows she's tired of seeing your face in here. She’d expect Eunbi would have a good influence on you, but instead, you've turned your poor girlfriend into a nymphomaniac.
Maybe everything about this is your fault after all.
Irene knows this. "You've turned your girlfriend into one of yours, hm?" she asks. Rhetorical question or not, all three of you know the answer. "First time seeing you here, miss Kwon."
"Miss Bae," says Eunbi timidly. She's trying a diplomatic approach here—it's all she knows in navigating life. Unfortunately, it won’t work here. "We're sorry. It won't happen again."
She smiles condescendingly. "So you know why you're here."
Irene's peaceful yet scary tone is exactly the reason for her English name, derived from the goddess of peace. She looks the part, too. Her pale skin can be the marble used to carve her most holy altar, and her sharp gaze can be replicated in it. She's like an older and more intimidating counterpart of Eunbi. She's smart as well, but not afraid to show it.
"I—I’m sorry," Eunbi says, realizing she's cornered into confession. It's as if all her speaking skills have evaporated in this room. It makes her nervous; you know so because her hand’s almost deathly cold in your touch. "We'll do anything to make it right."
Irene clicks her tongue. "It doesn't work that way, miss Kwon. You two had sexual relations with a teacher. It isn't something that can be resolved with community service."
How did she know? You think and think, and all your suspicions, though they jump from Taeyeon (she's in the wrong here, too, so why should she be suspected when she's at as much risk in getting trouble?) to Minju (why the angel, out of all people?) to anybody else, all lead to one person:
Jo Yuri. Of course it was her. But how?
You suppose that doesn't matter now that you're in Irene's office again. What's worse is that you brought Eunbi with you, the one person you swore you wouldn't toss into all your trouble. It feels like betraying her and everything your relationship has promised.
"Look," you say, taking a step forward, "we're sorry. Really. But please just let me take the blame. Suspend me or something. Just please don't hurt professor Kim or Eunbi, miss Bae."
"How touching, Kim Taeyeon's got you head over heels for her. I wonder what made you like her that much."
"Nothing, miss Bae. It was… just a one-time thing."
"I see, so the word 'mommy' doesn’t ring a bell?"
You stiffen. So does Eunbi, suddenly losing grip of your hand and losing her balance a little. In conclusion: yea, that word rings not only a bell, but a whole fucking gong in your mind.
Of course, Irene sees through this and rolls her eyes to heaven, as if she were making fun of you telepathically to an unknown deity. "Oh, so it does, huh?" she says, lifting her hands in the air. It's obvious, really, and she should have expected it. "Of course. One woman treats you like shit during sex and you drool for her. Of-fucking-course."
Your professional principal daring to curse in front of her students catches you off guard. But you know that, despite this, she's right. There are a lot of deeply internalized issues in you and Eunbi that would have reserved the right to be connected to the fling. These issues are the reason you like Taeyeon after all, but justifying the situation using them won't help your case at all. Irene doesn't take kindly to beggars of pity.
She walks over to the two of you. You subconsciously back away. It's instinctive, and you really should have gone through with what your gut tells you when the woman continues.
"I wonder how you ended up with miss Kwon then, if that's your type." Irene approaches her lookalike and laughs a little. "This little girl can't even get on top without begging for your dick five seconds later."
"That's not true," Eunbi stutters. She tenses up when the older woman strokes her shoulders. "I, I take control all the time, miss Bae. You can't just assume…"
If whatever's going on weren't putting your life at stake, you'd let out the biggest laugh to ever be heard by man. It's just insanely untrue. Eunbi's the most passive girl you've had the blessing to be with. It's just not in her to dominate in the bedroom. Debates and civil arguments in school are all things she tops, but when it comes to you, it's just out of the question.
"Then show me," Irene says. Massaging the girl's shoulders, her smirk creates a new punishment for you to abide by. "Show me how you control your bad little boyfriend."
The anxious, whimpering Eunbi has no time to think about how fucked up this is. She grabs your shoulders and pushes you to Irene's desk. She kisses you clumsily, tearing your uniform with shaking hands.
Her lips create a path downwards your chest. She unbuckles your belt and drops to her knees. You breathe through your teeth when her mouth works itself on your cock. Down, up, down, up, and a sweet little kiss at the tip. Perfect for you, but not for your principal, who has higher standards, apparently.
Irene smirks, shaking her head pitifully. "Darling," she says before she kneels before you, too, "you really don't know how to do this, do you?"
Eunbi shakes her head. The fact that she's ashamed is, unlike her claim earlier, not a lie.
"Ah." In a sudden affectionate and motherly act, Irene rubs the student's thigh. "You're better off being a good little girl, is that it?"
"Mmm. Yes."
“You’d rather be your oppa’s submissive little doll? Do anything he wants?”
“Y-yes, miss Bae.”
"That won't do here. You have to pay for what you've done, or else it wouldn't be fair."
Eunbi whines. Is it in protest or pleasure? Irene's fingers have crept under her skirt and to regions they're supposed to be restricted from. The cause is probably a mix of both, but you can guess what they're doing when you see Eunbi grinding down on your principal's hidden hand.
"How about this?" Irene offers to you. "Miss Kwon and I will take turns on you. We test out who can dominate you better, and whoever does gets to do whatever they want to the rest."
"Miss Bae—"
Irene pulls her fingers out of Eunbi and spanks her. Your girlfriend gasps and her hips flinch. Yeah, apparently, there's no way to back out of this. "Close the door, slut. Lock it. You, shut the blinds. I don't want to get in trouble for fucking you spoiled brats."
There's truly no resistant bone in Eunbi's body with how quickly she scampers to the door. You can't say you're any better. You and your girlfriend obey the principal's orders like you're her pets, and perhaps that's a little true. Maybe this is the beginning of something new. Something a little screwed up, yeah, but new.
Whatever this is, you hope it'll get you out of getting your life royally fucked over. You used to not give a damn if that ever happened, but when Eunbi's on your side, you become more cautious.
(If you were in a better state of mind, you’d recognize how having sex with your principal can and will contribute to your cautiousness going to no avail, but you’ve got two gorgeous women kneeling in front of you. What else is better than this?)
"Sit down." Irene pushes you down her swivel chair. "We're gonna have fun with you first. Call this a little," she winks, "practice session."
Your heart almost stops. You're thrust down even more into the cushion, and the foreign feeling of the principal's tongue provides an aching rush of blood to your cock. Meanwhile, Eunbi attends to your heavy balls, licking and sucking at the sensitive flesh.
Your skin is on fire. The two beautiful women smear their salivas on your erection. Their tongues collide at times, making Eunbi recoil in shock at times, but not for too long that your penis is devoid of attention. Irene doesn’t mind at all. She’s fine with the occasional dab of her tongue on Eunbi’s mouth, and coating the sheen of saliva she’s left with more. No inch is left needy—while Irene teases your base with sharp licks between smirks, the other girl sloppily makes out with your dickhead.
"Stop. You don't want your boyfriend here to think he can do anything he wants to you.” Irene’s rough fist stiffens the mast of your erection, and although it's pleasurable, it's also painful. Her speed is too much for a start to the show. "You need to put him in his place. Do it because you want to feel good about it, not him."
"B-but…"
"I'll show you."
Eunbi departs from your crotch and Irene does… well, nowhere near leaving, that's for sure. It's like your cock was just liquid streaming down her throat with how fast she takes you in. Her mouth is small, but she swallows it all expertly. Her hands tie your thighs down to the chair.
Being in Irene's mouth is a wet dream. Literally. Her slick tongue and cheeks rub your tip. They're just appetizers for the main course: her delectable throat that's thin and tight on you. She's almost forcing you to deal with her relentless blowing, betting her career that you can't withstand it. She doesn't need innocent, Bambi eyes to make it appealing when she has that goddess-like face, yet you have to prove her wrong.
But then she wraps her soft, jutted lips around your base and elegantly slides them up with puckered suction. She's not even fucking your rod with her throat anymore and you automatically say something you shouldn't have:
"Mommy, please."
Irene stops and smiles at Eunbi. "See what I'm saying?" she says with overflowing satisfaction. "It just comes naturally to him, doesn't it? Now it's your turn. Make me proud."
The pupil obeys. When has she ever done anything but that? You aren't complaining, though; her pretty mouth ranks up in their competition.
The two women are so different in so many different ways. Eunbi's gentle blowing, her eyes glimmering with broken innocence that always dart to your face to see if you're enjoying, is far from Irene's harsh one. She bluntly licks at your tip, sparking precum to drip into her mouth, before she slowly takes it all in. Again, widely different compared to Irene's experienced swallow, but who's keeping note? You sure aren't; you're just glad to have the best of both worlds.
"That's a good girl," Irene says. She gathers Eunbi's hair into a makeshift ponytail to help her out. "Don't be afraid to go a little crazy. If you do a good job I might just play with your cute little pussy."
Eunbi shuts her eyes and moans. Your breath is long gone with how her soft, pleasured sounds vibrate on your cock. If that weren't enough, she's lifting her head up and down with a pace that's a little quicker than before, nudging your cock deep inside her mouth. It's past that, actually; your cockhead slips down the end and bears the overwhelming feeling of her airway blocked by your girth.
"M-mmmph!"
"Aw, poor girl's choking," Irene remarks mockingly. "What's the matter, miss Kwon? Can't take it?"
Eunbi tries to surprise her by taking it all down. Unfortunately, it’s too much for her. Instead, she whimpers and chokes.
While she gags, you moan without shame. "I'm gonna cum, baby," you announce. Your cock feels like it's going to burst with her throat spasming around it.
Her lips tighten around your tip. It successfully manages to flow your cum directly into her mouth. Irene jacks you off to help out. The younger girl's mouth is soon flooded with the natural waterfall of your cum. It could turn into a natural disaster; Eunbi’s already struggling to save all your load.
"Don't swallow it. Come here."
Irene forces Eunbi's face to hers and kisses her deeply. Your girlfriend's hands are frozen in the air as they share your cum. The older woman’s hand imprisons her jaw in place so she can greedily collect your cum from the passive mouth. You see the shimmer of your semen as it’s passed from one tongue to another, hear the breathy moan of your girlfriend, feel your cock become more solid.
Irene swallows whatever she's gotten and, as an end to the makeout session, licks the other girl's plump, cumstained lips. "Ah, you’re really delicious," she says. "And your girlfriend's so cute. No wonder professor Kim likes you two so much."
You’re still in shock at the sight, but the mention of your professor gets you to make another comparison with said woman. She and Irene are alike, too, but differ so much as well. They’re both violent, but at least Taeyeon has a nice streak in her; she attended to you after the violent copulation in the classroom. Irene's gentle gestures are done only to please her will. But even with those contrasting traits set in the Venn diagram, you can't choose between the two of them: the dominant principal or the quietly pretty professor?
Irene pulls Eunbi's hair mercilessly, yanking her head backwards and exposing her beautiful neck. "It's just too bad that she's terrible at being a mommy," she murmurs. Her fingers trace the large tits threatening to burst out of the buttoned fabric. "Such a perfect body for it, but completely useless."
"Oppa, that's not true, right?" asks Eunbi, squirming. "I'm good at being your girl, aren't I?"
"Who was a better mommy, baby boy? Me or her?"
It's not even a question. As much as your heart is biased towards the girl who owns it, it's obviously—
"You, mommy."
"Oppa!" Eunbi protests. She looks genuinely hurt. It's the first time she's ever been second place in anything, and it hits her right where it's already sore.
Irene's grin is smug. It's beautiful, but actually terrifying. It's a sign that everything will only go downhill from here. "What should I do with you two now, hm?"
"Please,” says Eunbi. Struggling to compose herself now that the principal is playing with her breasts, she fights to say anything without moaning. “Please give me one more chance, mom– miss Bae… please, I'll be good—oh, I'll be so good—"
Your principal drags Eunbi up by her hair. "Stand over there if you're so good, mommy." One swift push sends her stumbling to the edge of her desk.
Eunbi, sniffling through her tears, awaits her next order. There's something in her face aside from the wet tears; it's a tale of how much she wants to be as good as Irene at using you that competes with her desire to please her. She's been a people-pleaser all her life, and it's hard to break its shackles, especially when Irene orders her to grind herself down the end of her desk, with one rule:
“Don’t cum until I say so.”
The panties slip off her plentiful thighs. She closes her eyes as she settles her nub over the edge of the wooden desk. Slowly, she starts to move.
"F-fuck." Eunbi places a shaking palm over her mouth.
"Exactly what your boyfriend's going to do to me," quips Irene. "See, this is how you put a man in his place."
She tears her pencil skirt apart with no hesitation. After, she confidently sits on your lap, filling her cunt to the hilt. You tense up; her round ass on your lap is a blessing alone, but when it comes to her cunt, it’s a whole heavenly reward. Although Irene speaks and acts with nothing other than confidence, if not arrogance, her pussy is too tight for your cock to even pulse. When it barely does, her textured velvety walls cease it with a firm clench.
“Holy shit, mommy. You’re so”—between gritted teeth, you groan and rest your hands on Irene’s ant waist—“fucking tight.”
“I know,” says Irene. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
The whole situation is sinful. Watching your girlfriend having nothing to do but touch herself on the inanimate object and helplessly watch the two of you fuck is one thing, but Irene’s perfect ass on your lap is in another world. Galaxy might be more accurate. The melody of their moans causes you to struggle in keeping yourself from cumming too fast, but it’s already a challenge with Irene’s pussy fucking itself on you. She’s as tight as she looks, and probably would have been the ruinable type if she weren’t the way she is.
She leans back into your chest and caresses the side of your face with a surprisingly gentle hand. With timed movements, she lifts herself off and on your erection. Her folds splay apart to welcome you inside, into a whole, slick world. “I guess he’s all mine now, yeah?” she asks Eunbi. “He seems to like mommy better, Eunbi-ya.”
When she’s fingered and forced the girl to sexually stimulate herself on her table, there’s no need for even the polite formalities. There’s not even a chance for it to resurface when Eunbi’s already tearing up.
“Oppa likes me, too,” she says. The jealousy brewing like a potion cauldron inside her drives her gyrations on the desk to go faster. It’s a fucked up coping mechanism for the sight in front of her. “You still like me best, don’t you, oppa?”
“Of course… fuck”—forget what you’re saying when Irene grinds her hips in circles and bounces her ass cheeks into your lap—“of course I do.”
She certainly knows her way around a dick. Her seductive rounds on your crotch and the measured riding just tell you that she’s had way more than enough experience in this realm, which, in terms of that, places her first. Eunbi’s a sore loser who doesn’t like that fact, but you can’t rig her a place anyway.
“But listen to how he’s moaning, babygirl,” Irene points out. You really don’t intend to moan again in order to avoid hurting Eunbi’s feelings, but Irene keeps a consistent squeeze of her vaginal walls on you and makes all go awry. “He loves my pussy. He loves it when I use him. I presume it’s not the same when it’s with you?”
Try to shut her up by rubbing her clit, but she only murmurs a series of “yes”’s. Besides, the damage, although fired from simple words, is already done; Eunbi’s quivering bottom lip is as clear as day.
“He loves me,” she whines. She squeezes the table tighter, as if the vicinity of the wood can help magick up a proper way to get her to become the mommy she just isn’t. “Hnn. He, he likes me because I’m a good girl.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Irene says, her sarcastically rolled eyes unimpressed. “You’re young. You should know being good is outdated. If he likes it, then he shouldn’t be fucking me right now.”
“Alright, that’s enough,” you say. You stop thrusting upwards into Irene, but she keeps bouncing. The stimulation remains constant.
You really can’t find your way out of this. Irene’s weight, though light, keeps you on the chair and void of anything to do to break it all up. Your legs already feel weak at her pace. It’s as if she’s completely unaware of how tight and wet she is and therefore subjects you to it, thinking that you can handle it. But of course, she’s an intelligent, self-aware woman—she knows her effect on you, and she isn’t hesitant to exploit it.
Eunbi sobs as she grinds down the edge of the table harder. She can’t take watching you and Irene fuck anymore. "Mommy, please.”
"’Mommy’? Not putting up a fight anymore, are you, pretty little girl?" Irene asks. She pouts mockingly. "Gonna give up?"
Eunbi shakes her head. "No…"
"Alright, if you aren’t, use me. Use your boyfriend. We’ll see what happens."
Your girlfriend bursts into tears. It’s no mere tear sliding down her cheek anymore. It’s a whole fiasco of whiny crying and childish protests. Of course, it’s not in her to fight Irene. She’s remained a diplomatic civil debater, not a physical one. At times she doesn’t even counter an argument, similar to now, when she weakly replies, "B-but I don’t know how.”
“Come on. You’re smart, aren’t you? You can win over me.”
“Mmm, please just let me cum, mommy. Please."
"Do it. I dare you."
"Mommy—"
"Do it."
"I—I can't!" Eunbi says this in a tone that’s nearly a scream as she struggles to keep herself standing. "Please don't take him away from me, I'm a good girl, I swear, I swear!"
“Oh, look at her, baby.” Irene strengthens the force of her riding. It draws you nearer to an orgasm. “She wants you so bad. She wants to be your mommy so bad.”
Eunbi’s explicit moans and Irene’s soft gasps contribute equally with the silken pussy in draining you. You fill Irene up to the brim. As she stands, white drips down her naked legs.
“You want to be a mommy so bad?”
Irene slips her fingers inside herself, scooping out white liquid, then walks over to the quaking valedictorian. Under the guise of the skirt, she sticks the cum-stained fingers into the needy little hole.
“Then fucking be one.”
“Mommy!”
Eunbi screams when Irene stuffs her cunt and fingers her violently. Her legs close together, and suddenly she’s creaming all over the fingers moving unabashedly inside her. Wetness is wrung out repeatedly, and strings of arousal connect and disconnect between the joined fingers.
“Mommy, miss Bae, hnnn…” mumbles Eunbi, mind fogged with pleasure, “mommy—”
“Shhh, that’s a girl, miss Kwon,” Irene says as she offers the nectar-coated fingers to the girl’s mouth. Eunbi gladly accepts.
To your surprise, Irene seems gentle this time. She pats your girlfriend’s back firmly, even wiping the drool on her lips. Maybe it’s the satisfaction of making both a girl and a boy orgasm. That’s all you can guess.
“You haven’t fucked me like you did mommy,” Eunbi protests. “I want you, too, please?”
“You heard the girl,” Irene says. She’s all for another go. She seems to be the only one not tired between the three of you. Her arrogant smile has not once lost its shine. “She wants to be fucked. Or do you not like her little pussy the same way you love mine?”
That triggers Eunbi to look up with tearful eyes. “Oppa, do you…?”
“Of course not. You can have me all you like.”
“Darlings,” pipes in Irene, “you seem to be forgetting someone here. That isn’t part of the deal.”
Of course. You’re still under the invisible contract she set. As the obvious winner of the battle of wills and domination, she gets to have the nicer end of the deal: to do anything she wants with the two of you. Whatever happens here has to involve her. No one’s going to be left out here.
How should it go?
“I want that mouth on my pussy, miss Kwon,” decides Irene, sitting on her throne (AKA as the swivel chair.) “And I want you to fuck her. Really fuck her. I want to see her break.”
So that’s how it goes, since Eunbi’s too kind to propose another way. She crawls between Irene’s legs, greedily eating the cum out of her, while you pound her from behind.
Eunbi’s wide hips are just irresistible. They fit right into your hands and serve as anchors to pull you in and out of her. The skirt, instead of infuriating you with how much it blocks your view of her ass and grippy pussy, drives you more insane.
And when you look up, there’s Irene, with her legs spread wide for Eunbi to stay. It’s nice of the deities to create a world where there are so many beautiful women, and for two to be right by your side currently. Maybe you gotta thank the Greek statue that’s privy to the whole thing—you’re pretty sure she’s part of the whole god gang. Whatever.
Irene’s hands aren’t sedentary. They tug onto the wavy hair for its owner to tongue her core more. The pussy-eating thing is an act of jealousy from Eunbi, really—part of the reason she agreed to eat her out is so she can drink your cum straight from where you deposited it. Safe to say it’s a win-win situation.
“Fuck, you’ve got a good mouth, miss Kwon,” says Irene. She bites her lip, and hisses. “Just like that.”
Even with all she’s done to her, Eunbi mewls in appreciation. Or maybe it’s your cock causing that. Yeah, definitely your cock. You make it a purpose to stretch her out and keep her pretty cunt stuffed. Gently stimulate her bundle of nerves for her skirted ass to reverse back into your crotch.
“Oppa—” Eunbi says, her voice reaching another high pitch due to the pleasure.
“I didn’t say you could stop,” Irene sharply reminds her. “Don’t stop or he won’t fuck you anymore.”
Eunbi gets back to work, moaning after you penetrate her again. You may have fucked Irene, but she still remains in control here. She just solidifies her place in the little contest she and Eunbi had. Your girlfriend, ever the grumpy loser, vents her frustration in eating her principal out, evoking broken gasps from her.
“Aw, don’t be too jealous, Eun,” you say to Eunbi. Her tight pussy is an everyday heaven you, a sinner, are given a free pass to relish in. “You’re still my good girl.”
You can feel her cunt tighten at your words. Eunbi closes her eyes and whimpers while she sucks on Irene’s clit. Her nose presses against the older woman’s flat stomach.
“She really likes being called that, huh?” chuckles Irene, ruffling Eunbi’s hair.
“She does.” Thrust into her particularly hard. “She’s a sweet girl.”
Eunbi’s body trembles. Unable to deal with the flood of praises, she tonguefucks Irene’s hole harshly, suppressing her heavy breaths in the pink flesh.
“Is that what you want to be, miss Kwon?” Irene allows Eunbi to take a breather and lifts her chin up, but renders her breathless anyway with the next set of words. “Mommy and daddy’s sweet little girl?”
The girl’s walls twitch around you, and you hear her whine again. She’s always like that, the poor thing, but now, it’s urgent—it goes on, prolonged with need and desire, that you have to pull her into your lap, cock still lodged inside her, and say: “Use your words, baby.”
She’s a little taken aback, but she’s nodding. Breathing through her mouth in shaky little exhales, Eunbi nods. “Y-yes, please,” she says, as if in a trance. “Mommy. Daddy.”
You and Irene don’t get along too well due to your history of troubles, but you immediately understand each other when you gaze into each other’s eyes. You don’t say a word, but there’s no need for any when her lips are already on Eunbi’s.
It’s a quick change of positions. You bring her over to the desk again. This time, she’s not merely here to watch, but to indulge in the pleasure of having the two of you at the same time. Buttons fly in the air as Irene rips the school blouse apart. She bares the bouncing tits of any bra then immediately goes to worshiping them. Eunbi’s nipple ends up in her mouth and hardens at the suckles. It was as if she were determined to draw out milk from them.
“Look at you,” she says. Irene admires the round, full bosom before her, tracing a hand along the flesh. “Walking around with a body like this shouldn’t be allowed.”
“Mommy,” says Eunbi. She shivers when you fill her up. “Daddy, please. I’m yours.”
“Oh, you are.” Irene plays with the perfect collarbone for a while before edging her hand up to her throat. There, she squeezes tight. “Trust me.”
You squeeze Eunbi’s breasts and kiss them. You don’t think there would ever be a time you wouldn’t appreciate her beautiful tits. Irene seems to have discovered their beauty, too, for the two of you start to worship them. Irene takes left, you go right. Each one provides more than a supple amount of softness that with each bite, squeeze and suck makes Eunbi clamp down on your cock more.
“Baby boy,” Irene whispers. She’s never looked this motherly, yet so seductive. “Remember when I said I wanted you to break her? I still expect you to do it.”
“I’d want nothing more,” you reply.
“Daddy, mommy, w-what are you going to do to me?”
“Bend over, miss Kwon,” instructs Irene, “we’re going to give you what you want.”
Eunbi happily does, and thanks her by slipping her fingers inside her. They immediately set a quick pace to keep her on her toes.
“God, fuck her,” Irene says. “She’s earned it.”
Your girlfriend’s never been so glad to hear something from the principal. The praise earlier is a close competitor, but when these words are the cause of your cock to begin thrusting again, she still prefers these.
“Fuck, daddy!”
You match the pace of her fingers in Irene’s pussy. You choose to go brutally, putting her out of her long misery by filling her over and over again.
“Daddy, daddy, daddy, please!” Her eyes are shut, and her body is still except for the movements driven by your thrusts, but her fingers still fuck Irene’s waiting pussy. She’s a true multi-tasker, this girl.
How many times has she begged like this today? You don’t know, but it’s the first time that she’s calling you the name. It surprises even yourself that it turns you on. It drives a forbidden feeling deep in your chest that’s exactly what fuels your thrusts.
She’s finally fulfilled after being kept at the side for practically the whole time, so her screams are also of relief. She squirts so goddamned easily that each thrust is slick and messy. Her folds spare not a second of releasing your cock. No, it holds on, and it’s all too messy. Sinful. Incredibly immoral.
“That’s it, take my cock, Eunbi,” you groan. The words just come naturally to you, because when she’s absolutely writhing underneath you and her pussy is that tight, you become a philosopher with a way with words. You can write several doctrines about how fucking ruinable she is, how her body’s just fit for your cock, how her thin whines are strung out so deliciously that you could never think of stopping.
After everything that’s happened, she’s still your girl. She’s still the one you want to take to bed. She’s just that good.
“Daddy, mommy, fuck—me!” she screams. Eunbi’s tears come flowing back. They pour down her pretty face and onto the desk. If there was paperwork getting done on this desk, they’re replaced by Eunbi.
You think she’s gone crazy. Her voice is strained and her fingers almost painfully shove themselves in Irene, like they’re machine-controlled. All different sounds are extracted from her sore throat: moans, screams, and gasps—you think you’ve broken her.
You guess that’s enough payment for Irene.
Irene’s groans and cries are loud; her legs squeeze around Eunbi’s wrist. “D-don’t fucking stop,” she warns. You sense that there’d be more than what punishment is if the girl dares to halt. Eunbi knows better than to, anyway. She continues fingering Irene, exploring the cave of her tight hole and pressing down on her G-spot.
Eunbi closes her eyes as Irene’s cum sprays her. Now she really looks ruined. She’s already covered in her tears and drool. You guess that soon, she’d be covered in you.
You slip out to flick your cock against her clit.
“Ahhh, daddy!”
“That’s right. Cum for daddy, baby.”
“Y-yes, yes, yes, fuck, daddy! Keep rubbing my clit like that, it feels so good… it feels so warm, please don’t stop!”
“Cum for me.”
“Daddy!” wails Eunbi.
Everything is a mess of moans and squirting. Eunbi screams in pleasure, shaking as her folds remain determined to swallow every inch of your cock even after her orgasm, and Irene’s to your left riding her digits, crying out as if she were in a war. And you guess that yea, maybe it is a war—a war of good and evil, a war of the overachievers (that brings a chuckle out of you), a war of sex.
But in the end, in a feat that no one’s ever seen, everybody wins.
-
Dear Ms. Jo,
This is regarding your recent concern about Ms. Kwon Eunbi.
I find that the evidence you provided to me is altered and has been tampered with. After further questioning with teachers and staff, I can conclude that your concern is dismissed and shall only subject you to disciplinary action.
It is strictly prohibited to spread harmful falsehood about your fellow schoolmates. Please see me after class tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Principal Bae Irene/Joohyun
#kpop smut#idol x reader#red velvet smut#irene smut#red velvet irene smut#bae joohyun smut#joohyun smut#izone smut#kwon eunbi smut#eunbi smut#izone eunbi smut#male reader#reader insert#pov smut#request#girl group smut#idol x male reader
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You know those American high school movie bullies in real life skits. That’s exactly what nrc looks like to rsa
“Hey, LOSER‼️😡 We’re gonna trounce you in this contest😏”
“O-okay?? 🧍♂️Good luck??🙂”
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HIIIIIII
So remember when I mentioned me and @just-cain will be representing our country in an international cosplay contest..?
WE WON!!! We genuinely won first place!
Bringing Sephiroth and Genesis to life on the stage was so much fun, and we're so excited to keep going after this win!
Once we have any better pictures from the stage I'll post them but for now 👉👈
(Genuine question, would anybody want to watch the whole skit? This contest was out of the ordinary bc it allowed skits above 5 minutes minimum, and ours was almost 6 hahah)
#genesis rhapsodos#sephiroth#ff7#ff7 cosplay#ff7 crisis core#crisis core#ffvii cosplay#ffvii#sephiroth cosplay#genesis#international cosplay contest#cosplay contest
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top five moments from this little drama track in my very unbiased like so objective it’s crazy y’all opinion lol
1️⃣ sasara elected to sign himself and samatoki up to perform another comedy skit together bc he’s stupid ig lmao. samatoki punches him for it tho lmao
2️⃣ all the leaders got to eat at that diner by invite basically. it’s american so the portions are HUGE and the exact conversation about this point was brought like this lol
ichiro: i’ve never seen a burger this size before!!!!! i think it’s the same size as your head kuukou
kuukou: *holds up the burger to his face* ain’t it??
ichiro: *laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen* it’s massive bro
3️⃣ there’s a 30cm burger and the leaders decide to have an eating contest to see who can eat it fastest, and sasara gets out of it by being the commentator lmao. kuukou the foodie has quite a bit of praise for the flavour accents in burger as he’s chowing down, ramuda can barely hold the burger up lmao, and ichiro started egging samatoki on where it’s revealed that the both of them have special eating techniques. they shouted them out in sentai style complete with superhero sound effects LOL
4️⃣ jakurai, however, reveals the ultimate technique of squishing the 30cm burger down into one ☝️ cm and eats it in four bites. HES THE WINNER LMAO (and ichiro slams his fist down lamenting his defeat LOL)
5️⃣ the track ends with the leaders cleaning up the restaurant bc they ate so much food, the restaurant workers wouldn’t be able to clean up in time for their grand opening the next day lmao. kuukou and sasara were bums and weren’t helping (kuukou: they say you have to work to earn your keep, but i’ve already eaten 😈) but eventually they get chided into helping lmao. kuukou rushed forward to complete his chore with gusto but he bumps into sasara and kuukou yells at him for getting in his way lmao and sasara yells back that he’s an idiot as samatoki tells them they’re being annoying fcks and ichiro tells kuukou that was dangerous and all six of them made for an interesting group according to ramuda 🤗🤗🤗
#this is vee speaking#it was pretty funny for an 11 min blurb lmao#like kuukou is so annoying LMAO 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜#i listed the above ‘embarrassing about kuukou’ ichiro anecdote but the very next second lol#kuukou tells him to hurry and eat his food and ichiro AGAIN starts giggling like pls ichiro control your crush LOL#and in a very fun comparison between the two lmao kuukou was talking about how the sauce was lit and the pickles were fire in the big burger#(my words not his lol it was a tad more put together)#ichiro enthusiastically said that his burger was tasty!!!! it tasted like meat!!!! :D#and that food review next to kuukou’s food review was frying me LOL#btw jakurai started commenting about the nutrition in both sandwiches AND burgers so have a burger on him LOL#c: rapping boys
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Hello Sir Gaiman! Against better judgment I entered a cosplay contest dressed as the female Dream from Overture and in the event I make it to the stage, a small skit is recommended. My question is what would white on black cursive speech bubbles sound like? Are they a deep feminine? Did you have someone else's voice in mind when you wrote it? Have a good evening wherever you are and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Probably easiest to sound either like a female Tom Sturridge or a female James McAvoy.
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TDA-Tsumugi Shirogane
Support me over at Patreon: www.patreon.com/skulljackxiii —————————————————
Total Dangan Action Contestant No. 13: Tsumugi Shirogane
Bio: The most obsessive participant in the group. she specializes in costume making and makeup of renown characters of pop culture, along with vast knowledge of trivia and facts about any of those said characters. With these at hand, she becomes quite helpful for challenges when filming a skit or answering trivia is required. Though she has skills and loves making outfits of her favorite characters, she doesn't enjoy putting on any of it on herself since she's insecure about her appearance and sees herself too plain to do it.
In a general basis, Tsumugi is very docile and timid most of the time whenever someone is around, but that's a facade she constantly puts up in order to be underestimated in the game. In truth Tsumugi is quite cruel and manipulative to others as she'll use her facade to abstract information from her "friends" and use those insecurities to sabotage and doubt themselves for her own benefit. Even though she displays levels of skillful manipulation, her arrogance left her open in some cases and her true colors were briefly shown. Such as moments when her favorite shows or characters are criticized, the quiet and shy Tsumugi would stare daggers and shout outburst of anger towards the offender; but would then pull back and make an excuse soon after.
Goal: Though she openly proclaims that not much thought was put into her application for the show and simply wants to use the prize to invest more into her craft, she actually intended there for a completely different motive other than the prize. In truth she was actually the daughter to one of the executives that funds and runs the show, and her reason there is similar as to Kirumi's.
She put herself there in order to make sure that the show was running properly and even start some drama here and there in order to keep the audience invested. She was even the one that introduced the idea of putting something in the show like K1-B0 to increase viewership. In the end, she hopes that if things go well thanks to her, her father and other executives would allow her to host the next following seasons.
#tdi#total drama#total drama island#fanart#danganronpa#total drama fanart#danganronpa fanart#danganronpa v3#total drama action#tsumugi shirogane#cosplay
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FOUR IN HAND by John Lennon
I never see anyone mention this, and honestly, we should talk about it more. John wrote this short play for the show Oh Calcutta! in 1969, a comedy revue organised by Ken Tynan. The skit is most likely inspired on The Beatles group wanks, which we all know about. Four In Hand is under the cut:
(Four chairs, backs to the audience. Facing them, a large projection screen divided into four sections, one for each chair. Three men impatiently waiting. A doorbell rings.)
1: There he is now. I told you he’d make it. (He opens the door.)
(George enters: he wears a fedora.)
1: If you’re going to join the group, George, you have to remember we always start on time.
George: Sorry I’m late, fellas.
2: We don’t like people breakin’ the rules, George.
George: I already said I’m sorry.
3: Look--We gonna talk, or we gonna jerk off?
1: Ok, let’s get started. This is your seat, George. Now this (pointing to screen) is a new kind of machine--a telepathic thought transmitter. Whatever you think about flashes on the screen. Now the rules of the game are this: all of us think of things to jerk off to--until somebody comes--and the first guy who comes has to stop everybody else from coming. Got it?
George: Got it.
1: All right. Let’s give it a try. Whatever comes to mind, George.
(1 goes to his seat. George sits between 2 and 3. Rhythmic music starts. Images start to flash rhythmically on the screens. The men’s arms start to move rhythmically in front of them. The screens facing 1, 2 and 3 show Hollywood and Playboy-type pinups. George’s screen remains blank. The rhythm builds up while screens 1, 2 and 3 are all pulsating with glamorous women. Suddenly, we hear the strains of the William Tell Overture, and during a crash of cymbals, a picture of the Lone Ranger flashes on George’s screen. All screens go blank and all four men stop masturbating.)
3: What the fuck was that?
1: What are ya tryin’ to do, George?
2 (rises, adjusting his pants): I told you not to invite outsiders.
George: I’m sorry, fellas, it’s just the first thing that came into my mind.
2: We haven’t had a vacancy in six months, George! Harvey only left because he got a divorce.
3: How’d you like a silver bullet up your ass?
1 (walking to George): You sure you’re all right, George?
George: I’m fine, thanks.
1: All right, let’s try it again.
(They all sit down again.)
1: And cut the horseshit, George.
(The music starts again and the images start to flash. They are slightly more nude than before--close shots of breasts and bottoms. By trial and error, the four screens begin to form a composite picture. George is dutifully collaborating. Finally, at the height of the rhythm, screen facing 1 shows a nude model’s head, screen facing 2 shows her breasts, screen facing 3, her legs. Pause. The recumbent image of the model is almost complete. Suddenly the strains of the William Tell Overture are heard again with another image of the Lone Ranger on George’s screen.)
George (exultantly): Aha! A-a-a-a-ah!
(He rises. His screen continues to flash the Lone Ranger. With one jabbing sweep of his arm, he flashes Lone Ranger pictures on the other screens as the music builds. As each image flashes, 1, 2 and 3 lose their concentration completely and give up the contest.)
George (turns as he goes to exit): See you next week, fellas.
1: Get the fuck outta here!!!
(Sound of four “whistling” gunshots as each remaining screen blacks out.)
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I hate being one of those 'it was better back then' types but I am rewatching a bit of the Great British Bakeoff S1, and ugh, I miss this version of the show
Like, the challenges & standards are at an actual realistic level for the stated brief of 'amateur home baker', they're not being expected to have skill levels that exceeds the average professional pastry chef. The judges are nicer and more down-to-earth (even Paul!), the hosts are ACTUALLY THERE TO SUPPORT THE CONTESTANTS, not just gurn for the cameras and pop up to say weird 'silly' comments until the contestants look uncomfortable. instead of tacky costumed skits & non-sequiturs, there's an interesting segment with one of the hosts talking about the history of a baked good...
THE TECHNICAL CHALLENGE ACTUALLY GAVE THE TEMPERATURE AND BAKING TIME, not just 'figure it out lmao'
#the great british bakeoff#gbbo#i haven't seen the absolute newest season so hopefully that host is better but stiiiilll
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Alright, long story short, at work Halloween is a religious experience. Every year there is a costume contest and the competition is FIERCE. You do a catwalk in front of a panel of judges and they love it when you do a little skit. Last year some coworkers put up flyers around the building and signs advertising the characters they were dressed up as. One of the managers of my department was George McFly and put up flyers advertising a book signing he was doing, it was a huge hit. Brought the house down. I'm going as therapist Beetlejuice and plan on ripping my shirt open to have fake guts spill out. I made some flyers for me to put up. The prize is like $500 so I really want to win, or at least get top 5. My biggest competition is the janitor who has kickass costumes and has won the past 8 years.
Everyone in my company knows me as the Beetlejuice girl, and that I'm 100% butt fuck insane. Mostly, I wanted to make people laugh but now I really want to win!
#beetlejuice#lydia deetz#beetlejuice beetlejuice#keatlejuice#beetlejuice fanart#beetlejuice 2#graphic design#illustration#halloween#halloween 2024#cosplay#beetlejuice cosplay
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käärijä boyfriend pokédex
in no specific order. some of these don't have links because i either can't find them or i lost them. if you have more to add, links i'm missing, incorrect information, etc please tell me :) i don't really go here anymore but i'll try to keep this list updated
count: 20
Bojan Cvjetićanin
lead singer of joker out + ESC 2023 contestant
do i need to make a list. do you want me to make a list. do i need to show you a li- *gunshots*
i could eventually list out as much as i can find though. or maybe that would need its own post
or you can look in my bojere tag
Robin Packalen
singer + UMK 2023 contestant
that umk interview where he slammed the fuck out of the button to say he'd kiss robin
Benjamin Peltonen
singer + UMK 2023 contestant
them allegedly pining over each other during UMK
jere said something along the lines of "he's a sexy guy. amazing action" but i cant find it
that tiktok of benjamin slapping jere's ass with persikan perään out of all songs in the background
Aapo Vuori
lead singer of portion boys + UMK 2023 contestant
they kissed and jere said it felt good (ver with translation)
UMK confessions where he said aapo massaged his shoulders and they kissed (probably a different kiss than the above)
KUUMAA (they count as 3)
band + UMK 2023 contestants
they will see each other in jere's bedroom
making kissy faces
gay sex onstage w johannes
Damiano David
lead singer of måneskin
THEY DID SOMETHING i don't remember what but i know people include him as a bf for a reason
Häärijä
he's just some guy
the tiktok (or ig story?) where he lifts up häärijä's coat to reveal ass
THAT ig post. the bulbasaur vs pikachu one
the onlyfans.
Jukka Sorsa
one of the daltonit
them kissing in front of a whole audience (more)
i think they did twice actually (or at least nearly) but i can't find the link
Matti Myllyaho
one of the dancers
is matti single? not anymore
Antti Tuisku
singer
him getting pinned to a pillar by antti and looking suspicious (more)
Jesse Voss
singer
onstage tomfoolery
also multiple other occasions
Niko Saarinen
celebrity
choosing the gay celeb over the obviously interested woman (more)
Mika Rajala
some skit maker?
getting suggestively invited into a bathroom
Joonas Kymäläinen
i have no idea who this is
making kissy faces at the guy (but it goes unnoticed)
Ludwig Gassner
alessandra mele's boyfriend
he got accidentally included within the marriage proposal
Random Audience Member
random audience member
get flirted with
Tommy Cash
estonian rapper that he collabed with (on ICIP)
olympiastadion. here are some gifsets, some screen caps, and the full video
the shower tiktok
Pekka Rinne
hockey player
how do i describe this. looking lovingly into each other's eyes or something
this urheilucast episode that hit me like a freight train
is the president of finland supposed to be on this list lol??? i don't know if i made that up or not
#i was compelled to post this after seeing someone post a list in this tag#käärijä#mine#hmm this list looks so small compared to what i thought it would be#but dont worry. when it gets another nice guy in here... it grow!
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youtube
I know Anime Boston happened months ago... but yo my con vlog is finally up! So feel free to relive AB with me and watch me take on my FIRST EVER COSPLAY SKIT CONTEST!!
#anime boston#anime boston 2023#ab 2023#ab2023#ffxiv#ffxiv cosplay#cosplay#anime boston cosplay#boston cosplay#boston cosplayers#cosplayer#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy xiv cosplay#final fantasy#final fantasy cosplay#cosplay skit#cosplay contest#cosplay competition#masquerade#cosplay masquerade#cosplay youtuber#cosplay vlog#cosplay video#telekineticmaniac#Youtube
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