#skip eating today
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Fried braincell and aching body do not want to cook. Or do dishes so i can cook. *whine*
#i am also out of bullion#i need that to make soup#i reeeeeaaaally don't want rice#i have pasta? but dtuff to go in pasta requires thawing#maybe i could just#skip eating today#uuuuugh#i technically maybe have a small bit of extra money? i could order something#the chinese place is open on saturdays#can i justify spending 35 bucks just bc i don't feel up to cooking tho#me#my life
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So ONHCT season 8 coming when? 😂
Oh No! Here Comes Trouble press conference for Golden Bell Award nominations
#peng cian you#彭千祐#Tseng Jing Hua#曾敬驊#oh no! here comes trouble#oh no here comes trouble#不良執念清除師#不良执念清除师#twdrama#taiwanese drama#*4#i believe they are joking around but you know what i'll take season 8 even if we don't get season 2#imagine the time skip dr guangyan and comic artist yiyong in their 40s i'll eat that up no problem#the golden bell is on today i hope they win the awards and the show get a bit more popularity to make a sequel 🥺💕
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VARGASTOBER - day 2 : comfort
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin#scriabin vargas#zarla s#vargastober#vargastober 2024#vargastober2024#sunny's art#chapter 20/21#i'm late . i know i'm late#god . this just took SO UNBELIEVABLY LONG . SERIOUSLY#the bg color doesn't convince me . but i don't want to leave my purple-ish gray void#i do have an entry for this one ! idk if i should work on today's ( yesterday's ( prompt now#NO BACKGROUND BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DIE !!#or write the entry#might write a bit of it while i eat some crackers#did you notice the new layout ? yyeees ???? do y'all like it ?#might change the pfp for scriabin's face here . he tiny#i'll try to work on a small thing for void . if i don't get it right i might just skip that one#should be all :]] currently listening to the subdigitals for the 8465675th time today#( they're a fake band from code lyoko but they do have songs and they're fire#i don't like posting things this late but I'M TOO LATE ALREADY
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Wiaiad #1
Breakfast
SKIPPED
0 cal
Lunch
1 green apple
1 chocolate ganache (0 sugar)
230 cals
Dinner
3 kiwis
1 cheese and tomato tapioca
248 cals
478 cals total
#wieiad#anadiet#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#4n@diary#ed but not ed sheeran#low cal diet#🐛hungrycaterpillar#4nor3xia#tw 3d vent#tw ed ana#wiaiad#ana spo#ana y mia#anabllrr#unhealthy weight loss#tw unhealthy eating habits#tw skipping meals#what i ate today#light as a feather#3d f4st#3ating d1sorder
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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85LBS AGAIN IM SO BACK
#yayayayayyaya im so happy omg#PLUS IVE EATEN TODAY SO ITS PROBS LESS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH#momo yap#tw ana bløg#tw ed ana#tw ed#tw ana rant#i just want to be thin#i need to be thinner#thinneristhewinner#thin$po#thinspø#@na motivation#tw ed implied#ed blogg#ed but not ed sheeran#ed rant#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw edtwt#tw restriction#ana twt#tw 3d in the tags#tw 3d vent#tw 4n4rexia#tw a4a#tw an0rexia#tw eating issues#tw mia#tw skipping meals#tw thinspi
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HAPPY FAGGOT FRIDAY IAM A GUY IN A SKIRT
#WOOOOO#PARTIALLY SKIPPING MY FIRST PERIOD TO EAT BREAKFAST#NEXT PERIOD I HAVE WITH THE PRETTY GIRL ANF ILL LIKE SAY HI AND ASK IF WERE STILL FRIENDS#PROBABLY#I REMEBERWD MY MEDS TODAY !!
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i love senshi so much he’s my bestie he’s a goober he’s an ICON. i’m almost done w the anime and these pictures alone are the reason of why i’m gonna read the manga <3
#methinks also unironically he’d be best friends w satoru nanami & yuji 😭#satoru sees senshi and is like well obviously that’s my man and i need him in my life#nanami sees senshi and he’s like. oh he’s capable and makes delicious food. he’s his new life partner#yuji 🤝 senshi: eat the first monster looking thing they see so OBVIOUSLY. they’re besties#senshi is so capable but also a silly goob so therefore. i would die for him and commit atrocities so he can keep eating/cooking +#his lil monster meals 💯 anything for MY king 🫡#so many mangas i need to read <333 gonna read skip & loafer & dungeon meshi today methinks <3#i love senshi & that crazy insane jester elf looking dude w the white hair & bad attitude who has fire powers! don’t know his name but slay#i hope we get more of that slayful elf soon <333 AND MORE OF SENSHI MY DWARF LEGEND 🫡#personal#dungeon meshi
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having a snake is extremely funny because it leads to sentences such as “should we offer our son dinner this week or wait until next week?” or “judging the color of his banana i believe our esteemed mr. curlyball will not want to come out and play today.”
#he doesn’t like to eat if he’s in shed so well sometimes skip offering a meal to avoid wasting a perfectly good r@t#he also doesn’t love handling when he’s in blue#so he is not getting a snack or a hangout today#citrine tag#漫言
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GAH it's really frustrating when you spend real long on drawing something and then it still doesn't. look right at all what the hell
#AAAGH drawing is hard drawing is so fucking hard#(person who has spent... idk maybe over 24 hours? on this piece in total voice) IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD#anyway I skipped lunch today for no reason for this so uh.#I decided tonight my new year resolution is that I'm going to get a better eating schedule starting now.#i (ai)
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the way I could be seeing itzy, kiof AND irene and seulgi today if I didn't have social anxiety 😞
#igm.talk#there's some festival at the beach over the next few days#and these three are today!!! BACK TO BACK#AND IM NOT GOING 😭😭😭😭😭#purely out of fear of being in a crowd by myself bc i 1. will get pushed around and 2. am short#and so since no one else wanted to go i just decided to not go at all#but the regret is kinda eating at my soul bc this is a crazy lineup#no matter how small it is it's still crazy like#cmonnnnnnnnnnnnn i wanna see my itzyyyyyyyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭 WITH LIA 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i think i can still get tickets but i doubt i will go bc im still alone sigh#should've just tried my luck for the itzy fansign instead of skipping on it bc fear AGAIN urgh#legitimate first world problems i am so sorry
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sometimes i'm like WHAT IF I JUST SAID SCREW IT AND DIDN'T HAVE ASSIGNED CHORES FOR DAYS AND JUST LIVED MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE I HATE BEING SO DISCIPLINED AND SENSIBLE LITERALLY EVERY DAY and then i try doing that and the bathroom starts getting gross if i don't clean it once a week and my allergies get bad if i don't hoover once a week and i don't have clean towels or clothes when i need to and i don't eat often or well and i can't switch off at all because there's a billion things looming, and then i'm like Oh Yeah The Schedule.
#but what if we could just do whatever we wanted forever (no consequences from housework)#I guess i'm kind of already doing the middle path which is 'rolling chores that i didn't do on their set times onto later days rather than#doggedly saying they have to be done Today and skipping taking breaks and going to bed late because i'm doing 5 billion catch-up#chores and eating late because i'm too busy chasing my own tail....... maybe........
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Well that was the most disgusting hour of my life! I need seven showers and a memory wipe!
#tw gross#putting it in the tags because EW#okay so I’ve had a fly problem and it was fucking b a d#I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from#I have slowly been going fucking insane#cleaning and deep cleaning for HOURS#DID YOU KNOW THAT SWARMS OF BUGS ARE MY ONE MAJOR FEAR!!!#I can’t even stand to listen about them. I skipped those episodes of the Magnus archives!!#today was the last straw. I got home from work and just. fucking lost it.#I cleaned. I mopped. I disinfected. I scrubbed.#nothing.#then. THEN. this one damn cubbard aboved my microwave.#I don’t use it often because it is tall and I am short.#APPARENTLY. I PUT SOME LOAFS OF BREAD UP THERE AT SOME POINT.#MAGGOTS. EVERYWHERE!!!#when I tell you I threw up. I mean it. i May never eat again!!!!!!!!!!#anyway thank god for bleach and that I still had all my disinfectant wipes. also thank god it’s trash day so allll that shit is immediately#outta my house.#seven. showers. fucking yuck.#vrrm vrrm#I can’t stand filth. I simply can’t do it!!! it makes me itch!! I want to peel my skin off!!!#if you guys wanna know what I was doing instead of bfiasc. well. *gestures*
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vent post sorry so sorry i'm having a Bad Time
psyched myself up to buy a new bed but when i announced my plans for the weekend my sibling's like 'are you sure you wanna buy a new bed?' like damn killed the hype immediately. i don't wanna buy a bed i don't wanna go anywhere i'll just keep using the bed that we all cycled through growing up that hasn't been replaced in a decade+ with no bedframe and only one sheet that fits.
"are you sure you want-" I need a new bed. This isn't a matter of wanting. i don't want to think about where to get the best deals or which store has a delivery service or the logistics of hauling that thing into my room or where to get rid of the old one i'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. don't make this ordeal more complicated than it has to be.
#i'm having a really bad day mentally and when it's this bad i have trouble doing anything because it's all too complicated#even going to the bathroom is too much so i just wont. and as the day goes on i start feeling gross and uncomfortable and hungry#but if i use the bathroom i'll be dirty so i'll have to take a shower and showering is a whole other thing so i'll just not eat or drink so#i don't have to go any more badly than i already do#it's not good and i hate it and this is somehow my fault??? fuck off why don't i crawl into a ditch so you don't have to see it#i skipped work today and i couldn't even go downstairs to get my work phone to inform my boss. even though i have enough time off saved up#it's still a tardy because i didn't report in so i'll get written up#they should fire me. i hate that place.#none of the part time jobs i've applied for have replied#i can't get another job if i lose this one#i cant tell if i'm fr mentally ill or if it's just a product of living in pandemic-genocide-capitalist-global warming times. among others.#not that any of that directly affects me because it's all just me overthinking things and blowing it out of proportion and ruining myself#i'm sorry i cant help#myself or others#talking tag
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medication fueled idea while brain goes brrrr before my workout
Rio and Agatha agree to come together every year to remember and reflect on their son who is gone. most years it's very brief, no eye contact type of set up, but one year Agatha wants more and learns Rio has never stopped wanting more. they get back together and bond over their shared trauma of losing their son, having lost him post divorce, and never actually talking about it to one another.
hurt. comfort. bonding. probably sex lbr i can't stop myself
title: only if for a night
#hold on am i cooking#i think i'm cooling here honestly#insert sabrina meme of so many plates of food and eating off of every single one with all of my agathario ideas#if i skip working out today to write this i have no one to blame but myself lmao#agathario
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After eating so little all week I made myself sick I found out today that not only did I hit my goal weight of like 2 years or something I went slightly under it. Instead of being happy I half convinced myself that my scale must be broken because i still don't feel skinny yet. Apparently I lost about 11 lbs/5 something kg in about 40 days which doesn't even seem like a lot. My app switched me to maintenance and the thought of eating even if I'm allowed to made me feel ill so I've decided to lose even more weight. Bordering on underweight because surely at that point I'll feel small enough. And I won't keep doing this. I'm sensing a pattern here I fear
#goddddd#why am i like this#why does weighing less then i did at 12 not have any kick to it#also ate too much and almost cried today#fucking lame#half told my girlfriend#i dont know what i want#i dont want to stop because i just cant face that#but i cant let her keep hearing even vague stuff about how im crying over dinner and shit#i want someone to get it so bad#but im glad she doesn't#idk#tw body issues#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw 3d vent#tw skipping meals#tw disordered thoughts
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