#sir has to have water sign placements

[brainrotcharacters]

redacted fandom hc Erik is a water sign

[organicastrologytakes]

Astrology Observations 💗💗 Your Venus sign + a Song pt. 1

ugh I hate being sappy.

I definitely don't watch rom coms in my spare time. No sir. Never

Gemini Venus: Kilby Girl by The Backseat Lovers

This song is definitely about the Gemini Venus and not in the pov of them. I chose this song mostly because of the lyrics and thrilling guitar that creates that playful and curious provoking nature of Gemini. Gemini Venus reminds me of something playful, optimistic, and goofy. They may struggle to know what they want with Mercury being chaotic as usual here. They can tend to be action oriented in love opportunities and fortune. Their love is usually sassy and playful, they don't conform to the natural order of how traditional relationships work. They are a scatter brained lover with an adventurous spirit. Gemini's like their other air Venus love to change it up, whether it be their partner or the relationship itself. They need change and love doing something out of routine. They may have a hard time deciphering if someone is romantically interested in them or if they are just being nice. Usually they just think they want to be friends. To love a Gemini Venus is to be with them is to just match their energy. This signs are generally a wild card and don't have one set love language. They love through various ways as well, they may love you one way in the beginning of the relationship and as it goes on, change the way they love you, not necessarily in a bad way, just different. These signs are an absolute joy to love and can be ultra creative with their open-minded spirit, taking you on adventures and dates you never thought possible in a partnership. They are pretty airy though so be careful of their flighty nature! They are best with someone who helps them mix it up like Aries Venus and Libra Venus. Honestly most fire and air Venus will connect with gemini Venus.

Cancer Venus: We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross

A true poetic masterpiece with loving pet names to represent Cancer Venus. Cancer Venus reminds me of something sweet, loving, and trusting. Representing the darker luminary in Venus, this placement needs an emotional connection and lovely understanding of who they are. These tender souls generally have good fortune and love opportunities in life, since they are not in any negative placement here unless in a bad house placement. As a lover, Cancer is very mature and usually wise, they know how to love and be loved. Although they can sometimes pick partners that may not serve them, they will usually find someone later on that will meet their needs and provide them with the love they fully deserve. Their love language is usually acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. They also usually desire a family, not always implying kids, but just generally having people in their life or a partner in their life that feels like home. These Venuses are best known for being a gentle partner that takes the time to understand you fully. A lover that better be adored by every individual that comes into contact with them. They best get along with other water Venus, fire, and air Venus.

Libra Venus: Sneakers by Camille

A goofy, playful, upbeat indie song for Libra Venus. Libra being the masculine representation of Venus, is at home here. This individual generally has good fortune and love opportunities here. Libra is an air sign still and can be a bit fickle minded. These individuals may change their mind on a daily basis and have a hard time focusing on what they want in life. Although they can easily change their mind, they usually make great lovers. They love attention from their lover and usually an adventure or something different. Change it up on Libra, give them gifts, shower them with affection, never let them know your next move. You must be a ninja and keep things interesting to keep them around for a while, otherwise if the relationship gets stagnant they can be easy to lose. These individuals also tend to be popular. They usually give love inconsistently, not on purpose, but because they probably thought about something else or forgot about you. No, but they can love very deeply and give you the same affection in return as they receive. They love giving others gifts and randomly giving you a lot of love, whether that be physical or with their words. They are such a unique sign to love because of their naturally sweet demeanor and completely unintentional adventure they tend to take their partners on, whether that be physically, mentally, or emotionally. They are not a dull person to be around and are fantastic partners to have at any point in your life! I feel that Libra Venuses connect most with fire Venuses and air Venuses.

Scorpio Venus: Feels Like We're Dying by Johnny Goth

A sad, melancholy song that brings out the darker side of love with Scorpio Venus. Scorpio is in detriment in this position, unfortunately. Like the moon, Scorpio can really struggle in this placement because of the nature of Venus being a planet that represents light while Scorpio represents darkness. They will often struggle with fortune and love opportunities in this lifetime. That doesn't mean that love can be difficult or challenging to have or receive, but the relationships presented may be karmic or be more of an opportunity to go through some kind of internal death. This placement more likely struggles from knowing what they want but feeling like they might not deserve it and going through a lot of self-esteem issues. This placement needs a lot of self-awareness in love, sex, and pleasure in order to have a good balance. Like the other water Venuses, they struggle with finding a partner that may be good for them and their wellbeing. When they do love in relationships, it is often intense and passionate. They love physical affection and quality time, sometimes acts of service as well. These partners can come off as abrasive and jealous if not loved correctly or communicated with properly so make sure to communicate and be open-minded to their requests to gain their trust. They are a very quality partner and create a relationship connection that is emotional, passionate, and fully loving. Treat this person right and they are an incredible partner to have along the ride of life. They often connect best with Aries Venus and other fire Venus. They enjoy other water Venus and earth Venus due to their fixed nature.

Aquarius Venus: True Blue by Boy Genius

Aquarius must have the romanticized friendship song. Honestly this is one of my personal favorite songs, and I love that this song isn't romantic (imo), but about being so known by someone deeply and completely. Saturn is expressing itself in Venus here so their love can come off quite restricted. They might feel a bit out of place and may be a bit pessimistic when it comes to the fortunes and joys that Venus is connected with. Aquarius Venus though are the most loving friends once you get to know them and can become great potential loves after a lot of time. These are not the easiest signs to win their heart, but they are definitely worth it in the end. This misunderstood air Venus is loving in their actions and words, and they love being loved in the same way. They love being seen for who they are and like when people are not ordinary. The best apart about loving this Venus sign is how attentive they are and aware of their surroundings, they are great at taking loving action that can be very specific or oriented to you. Aquarius Venus do best with other air Venuses, Cancer and Scorpio Venuses.

Pisces Venus: Baby by Warpaint

A whimsical, ethereal, and breathy song by Warpaint is for Pisces Venus. This Venus sign is being represented by the feminine Jupiter and is considered exalted here. These ethereal water Venuses know how to express themselves here and are often very lucky in love and fortune throughout their lifetime. These individuals may struggle with insecurity issues early in life or throughout life because Pisces can often represent fears and the inner world. These individuals may need to find self love before getting into a romantic relationship because of their tendencies to want to "fix" a partner that does not serve them. They love easily, deeply, and unconditionally. They have a love like no other and can be loyal partners under the right circumstances. Loving a Pisces Venus needs to be with care, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of services tend to be these fishes love language of choice. Although they love cuddles too, these partners love to romanticize with their partner and find the love and joy in everything. The most joyful part of loving these individuals is how passionate, optimistic, and creative these Venuses are. They can make anything, even the most mundane, into a special moment. Cherish these individuals and make them feel seen, heard, and appreciated. They often connect best with other water Venus signs, they love intense love and emotional connection. They can also connect with fire Venuses and air Venuses on occasion.

Honestly this was mostly based on the relationship aspect and the songs, what do you think? Did any of this resonate with you? What is your Venus sign? What house is it in? :)

[bigdsgirl]

Live thoughts of Doctor Slump Finale

Because I don't I have the capacity to do anything else

If you open the cut and go "damn heidi chill", here is a summary of my reaction:

Warning: this will not be coherent. :)

THEY MAKING ALCOHOL TOGETHER! He wants to celebrate every moment with her!!! I am in LOVE!!!

HE MADE HIS OWN NOODLES!!!! Ba-da!! I am so proud of you!!!!

Lol Jeong woo, you know how to be too honest

omg y'all reliving the magical evening - same girlies, same

Ba-da's first PAYYYYYYYYYYYCHECK!!!! Proud of our lil worm <3

he wants to buy her meat!!!!!! stop!!!! as an elder sister, this is a MOMENT! and the photoshoot is everything. a plus.

boy time boy time! these two crack me up. truly besties forever

let's fight! fight to the death! ah yes, never change

I've been watching too much dune, that's all I could think about when I saw the patient

look at our girl! being a supportive professor <3

thoughtful boyfriend (husband of my heart)

oh no this man thinks she is gonna say yes

the HAIR FLIP I LOVE HIM!

oh wait wait wait so what was she gonna say if she found out about the US stuff AFTER talking about their date!!!

he is so babygirl <3 my PRINCESS i luv him

the honesty about his nerves! let's communicate!

SO SHE WAS GONNA SAY YES AJGKFLGDJALKGJd

oh fuck that's an amazing opportunity - she's gotta do it! she's gotta!

I want you to always follow your heart - I am deceased they are so amazing together

most mature drama (in the best fucking way ugh this makes me so happy)

and I know he is still stressed and freaking, but that his first move is to make sure she goes! gah!

LOL the VASE! THE STEAK! this man is dying a bit inside

he was made for this role, his monologues kill me! every time!

the worming on the bed LOOOOL

bestie cheer jeong-woo up! right! now! <3

the leave and let me be in the elevator and Dr. Bin's response -- i am in stitches!!

LETS FREAKING GO HONG RAN!! Baddie of the century!!! fuck yeah! the wink agjdlkfgjalkdfg

wait! girly! please! don't resign! where you going I love you putting Dr. Bin in his place! wait never mind she wants to travel, I support this <3

I am leaving to pursue my happiness! that's RIGHT!

sad puppy jeong-woo is everything to me. i just wanna squish his cheeeeeks!

oh the perfect words, just what he needed to hear.

these two are just giving me cavities LEFT AND RIGHT!!!!

they are so supportive of each other! they talk it out! they love each other! i LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

my dramatic prince - omfg they are sobbing together already lkajfgaldk;fgjadfklgj

oh wait they TOOK BACK THE OFFER???? oh wait that did not go where I thought it would.

oh girl you gotta blurt it out. TELL HIM NOW.

Jeong-woo is a water sign right ? as a big three triple water sign, he's GOTTA BE!

THE PARTY JAKLDFJGLKAF - this is gonna be hilarious. i love the flower on uncle's head hehehehe

the sad singing oh my god this is so funny

wait he SAW! omg! what! and the dramatics, silly gooses

I am so glad she advocated for herself - even if she didn't go her way and she was just expressing her frustration.

god they have grown so much, it's so beautiful to see

he took classes! my beloveds!

oh she's taking the test! and it's improved! oh I am so happy for her. what a beautiful journey we have been on together.

i love the message that getting better is not being happy again, it's about building strength and confidence that you can step through the difficult moments

oh Dr. Bin, don't dig yourself into a hole ya dumb dumb (love you though)

mother son bonding! love this

I am going to miss Ha-neul's mom so much. she is such a beautiful soul. 😭😭😭😭

I was wondering when my Kopiko ad placement would arrive, and A+ work

Hong-ran please, I can't take this romantic speech now. I am weak.

omg! Jeong-woo is opening his own clinic! omg HE TOLD HIM TO GO! I adore you sir.

these two have my heart.

FANCY CAR FOR MY FANCY MAN! Love it and him. ooooooooo sir you look fab in the fancy suit. bahaha, i love the switch to reality and how much happier he is! <;3

oh my, what a gorgeous clinic (working at a FQHC, our clinics so different lol)

WAIT WHO IS THIS GIRL???????????????????? omg. omg uncle get the girl let's freaking GO. wait. wait. oh my fucking god he opened this for HER? someone hold me, I am going to faint.

the little wave at her husband's grave, I am unwell.

Dr. Bin -- i'm sorry but oh my god what are you doing. his daughter just staring at him, i love it.

oh my god the photo of the four of them on her desk!!!! *screaming*

is the anesthesiologist gonna be a private detective?

aw man, he's gonna go work for our king jeong-woo, still dope tho.

WELL GO SEE THE SUNRISE NOW YA CUTIES!

*sobs at all these beautiful moments*

Jeong-woo, you are a better man than I, I would be spitting on that grave : )

what a gorgeous sunrise, what gorgeous beans!

WEDDING PHOTOSHOOT IS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! JGKLDAGFJDLAKFGJ

he's so excited to get his answer i love them

running on the beach??? bye. I will be dying now from all this love.

oh my god the photoshoot at all the spots important to them AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

in conclusion: i love them and i adore this drama.

[libbee]

Self development series: "I am so bad at judging people".

For 7th, 8th, 12th housers, scorpio, cancer, pisces risings and placements. Also for airy signs placements.

You were born, you had family friends neighbours, you watched TV movies, you find a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate get a job get married, have kids and life goes on. But who are you? And how do you know who the people in your life are? How do you identify others, how do you judge who is who? There is something called "projection" that happens when two people meet, or even watch a celebrity on TV, or even read something in a letter or on a website. How would you know what I am like from my posts? You will project, assume, judge.

Projection is a psychic process, it happens automatically and spontaneously, it is not under our will power to control our projection. Just like you breath to survive, you have to project to live in the society. No, you cannot be a hermit for too long. You have to go out, work, date, marry, buy grocery - projection is a necessity.

Everybody is not the same. People are different from each other - some qualities are dominant in them and some are sleeping. You project your own dominant (good or bad) qualities on others. For example, if you have jealousy in you, you will easily spot it in others too.

It is especially for those who are more irrational and impulse driven. They would think that just because they are honest, somebody else is honest too because both are just the same, especially if that somebody says the right things like "yeah I want to connect deeply with you". How we judge others, react to them depends on our projections. But how exactly do I judge someone else? In archetypes. Archetypes are images, emotions, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images. Carl Jung observed in his practice that similar patterns repeated in every patient assisted by similar meanings - he called these patterns motifs and proposed that the archetypes are universal in nature, reside in the collective unconsious and are inherited by each generation. How a person reacts to a situation in 2023 is how a person reacted in 1723 - patterns are the same.

Archetypes are not singular but a combination of many elements. For example, have you watched any typical romance movie? You see a silly lover boy and a next door girl, falling in love, going through made up scenarios and end up together. These kind of characters are simplified and basic levels of archetype. Reality is 10× more complicated than fairytales.

So when a scorpio girl falls in "love" with the boy she met last week, she is actually projecting and seeing archetypes in him that may not be there. She falls for the inner image of the ideal boy, her own masculine part animus and is driven by her feelings. I see a handsome/rich/funny/intelligent/top college graduate boy? "He must be a good man, he must be what I think he is". Did he just say he loves me even though we met in a chatroom 2 days back? "Of course, I know this is love". I swear if water placements dont tell the funniest "love stories", I will eat my hat. Madam/sir, this is projection, not love. Though I would not advice against making mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. Make 100 mistakes but in the end you will learn to judge people's character the right way.

I read something interesting about projection so i will share. We are all energy. The way we project is believed to be godly or divine process. Projection happens from the background of the psyche, that is the autonomous inner inages that come and go on their own happen from the very bottom of our psyche. Therefore, those who are gifted in astrology are the ones who project very consciously. In fact, the most accurate astrologers are those who are the most watery/most in touch with their unconscious life. This is why 8th house is called the house of occult and also signifies the unconscious.

Joseph Campbell has said, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight". An evolved native is a good judge of character because he/she knows his/her own inner life, corners of personality, sleeping qualities, spends a lot of time exploring their own inner world and self reflection. This is why water people make detective type because they can really read the energy, tone of voice, pattern of behaviour, body language, expressions and intentions of people. Though, do not be too caught up in assumptions - projection is after all a means to understand yourself, your own individuation and identity.

[fanficfish]

Donald and Douglas ranch au headcanons

Main Post

Focus Chapter

Playlist :D

Some of these also kind of apply to my interpretation of canon. Well, actually most of them but that's a whole different thing.

Backstory: {redacted] [redacted] fire, mistaken placement of blame, [redacted] (You thought you coudl get spoilers? Gotta read the fic for that lol!)

Donald is older then Douglas. But Douglas acts slightly more mature so it evens out. Kind of.

Donald is quicker to anger, but Douglas builds his fury until he snaps (hard). Donald is also better at letting loose aand Douglas is more serious.

Donald is way more social and outgoing then Douglas. Donald knows way more about things like movies or local gossip. Douglas prefers keeping it quiet with a nice book, and lets his twin do the chattering. They both like a good prank though- they'll often pretend to be each other, especially if they know someone can't see their nametags.

Hownstly the easiest way to tell them apart (they like to match whenever possible) is by their reaction to a prank. Donald will prank you back but Douglas will just take and move on with his day. But he'll join in on it if Donald thinks up soemthing though.

they once went camping with the others, and shared a tent (along with Oliver and Duck). The twins went to sleep normally and woke up having tangled themselves into a literal pretzel of limbs and both Duck and Oliver were Not Very Happy because they'd also managed to shove the other two into the far corner.

They tend to sit back to back, or side by side wheenver possible- bit of a side effect from having to go on the run to get to Sodor with threat of permanant seperation. They don't mind working apart, it's part of their job after all, but they get a bit ants if they haven't heard from the other in a while. Especially if the other is going off the island for something. They try to check in with each other at least once a day, even if it's just to swap funny happenings from the day's events. The second Sir Topham Hatt knows this and will sometimes slip in a job that takes one past the other.

the singing. Oh gosh the singing. They know so many songs. They've picked up sea shanties from the sailors at the docks, country songs from working on ranches, folk songs from locals, pop songs from the radio. They're actually fairly good singers, but if you want quiet you won't get it from them. Douglas can actually play the bagpipes, and Donald picks up the accordian after coming to Sodor, so it's never quiet in their room, rest in peace Duck who's right next door. They sing while working a lot, and they only really stop singing if they're not feeling great or something's wrong.

which was why they only really started it with the singing after being signed under contract to the North Western.

they also like to sing sea shanties while shoveling snow. Keeps them in time and at a good steady pace. And it helps keep them warm, too.

probably won't write this in, but TTTE season 21 "Love Me Tender" sort of has an equivalent. Once, the twins were shoveling the snow and got into a disagreement over where to go. They split up, but Douglas soon found himself stuck in a snowdrift and unable to get out. At some point, Donald realized he still had Douglas' water falsk clipped ot his belt, and went back to find him, luckily finding him after a good bit of looking.

Donald uses DIlly like an emotional support duck. Because she is that breed of duck known for having big white bellies and Donald is a lot more stressed then he looks, between running every which way to take goods somewhere or fix a broken wheel axle.

Douglas doesn't have a pet he just sometimes borrows Dilly for the day. He likes going to the Vicarstown Public Library and taking out books about Donald Duck to read to Dilly.

also have a few random piccrews I made of the twins :D (I can't decide if I want them to have black or red hair, I'm thinking black but red is also an option...)

[alyjojo]

April 🌻 2023 Monthly - Aquarius

Whole of your energy: 7 Swords

There is a connection in your life that’s been thrown to the wayside, could be a friend with 3 Cups rev, a former one. Either you’re making the decision to part ways from them right now or you already have. Temperance is on your mind, which is healing the connection, combining the two of your different personalities in a harmonious way, which you do consider but not favorably. In this energy, 7 Swords is more about strategizing, you’re in Emperor & King of Swords energy, using your head and logic over any emotions you may feel. Page of Swords rev shows this person may be a liar, or you see them as a sneaky and avoidant kind of person that lies, they may quietly stalk you and are just…one of those types, which is driving your decision overall to be like “nope”. Your meditation was dark, except for a song, “Happy Not Knowing” by Carly Rae Jepsen, it’s a fun bop song on my like list 🎶 Could also indicate this is someone interested in you romantically, and maybe you like them too but there’s a sense of you feeling like they’re a walking red flag 🚩 that you don’t want to get involved with. You don’t seem to be bothered by this person except that they gotta go, and “Happy Accident” shows a vibe of you being grateful something happened so you could catch on to someone’s bs. Or you should feel grateful for it.

What’s going on in April:

2 Pentacles:

Letting whoever this is go isn’t an impulsive thing, you’re considering the pros and cons of the situation as a whole, what’s the most fair decision with Justice. The Emperor shows you as taking this very seriously, abiding by any personal rules or morals, there is an air of not putting up with someone’s shit. Even that it’s not personal. I like you but…you’re ratchet 😆 Get away from me. Something like that. Your peace is the most important thing to you and this is someone that already has fkd that up at some point or they have the potential to with lies and some level of drama. You don’t trust them, for a reason, but you have been very patient, showing they’ve been given chances, plural, more than one.

Strength:

You’re restraining “the beast” inside of yourself in regards to arguments, fighting, competition, drama, this could be someone with an inflated ego that starts shit and expects you to reciprocate. You’re tempted 💯 Knight of Wands following shows you’re considering giving this person a piece of your mind, but ultimately you’re holding back. You seem to know you could, but would rather not. Leo dominates this whole row and could be who you’re dealing with, they also come up as Queen of Cups and could have Cancer or water placements. Or you do, either sign. The Sun here shows either you’re holding back because you’re happy, clearly abundant with your Oracle card, and this person doesn’t make a pimple on your ass type of energy 😆 There is ego here, it’s clear, yours or theirs, could be both. Leo & Aqua both straddle that line on their worst days. They could be someone that brings it out of you, or vice versa. In the case of bringing out the worst in each other, you could check Lilith aspects in synastry, for my astro buffs, I’m getting that vibe.

Knight of Wands:

You want to take action, this is a Knight that passionately rushes into situation and takes ACTION, impulsively & without even thinking, there’s no plan, it’s just go time. That could also be their energy and what instigates your inner reactions or triggers, that you control and navigate but still exist. King of Swords is Aquarius energy, you’re definitely taking a more logical and “use your head” approach to this person. You can recognize an instigator when you see one and you’re above that. Possibly older than them too, their behavior comes out as a Knight, immature, impulsive, reckless, and you come out as the intelligent King that doesn’t consider emotion in decision making, just the facts sir/ma’am. You won’t make a decision or plan any movement forward without considering it and doing what’s most logical for you.

Queen of Cups:

This feels like who you’re interacting with or letting go of. They feel victorious because you’re not speaking or have let them go. Very snide energy with this person. If they were competing for something, you’re standing back and allowing them to win, making them feel “victorious” when really…you’re just chuckling on the sidelines. Their perspective is they’ve really put you in a state, for some. You could be dealing with a major ego here. The outcome is you’re the one feeling victorious over letting this person go, complete silence is here, and you don’t have any hope whatsoever that the two of you could come back from whatever difficulties you’ve endured. Let them think whatever, goodbye 👋🏽

3 Cups rev:

3 Cups rev shows you’re not interacting with them, not speaking, not interested, and they may shock you with an apology, which is what brings this whole reading about. They want to mend ties and come together again, though you’re probably ghosting them with 7 Swords. Shrinking Violet shows your lack of confidence in this situation, you’re avoidant and don’t even want to talk to them. You’re moving into a more balanced energy with that, but I doubt you’re having anything to do with this person. You’re like what’s done is done. Counsel could show you getting other opinions from trusted people, are you just overreacting? I don’t think so, you’re too smart and detached through this whole thing, and they seem to enjoy getting to you. Trying to. Just for curiosity I looked under Violet and see Shadow Grey Storm, no, you’re afraid of this person fking up the peace and abundance in your life, maybe “again”. That’s a fair concern to have ❤️ Some of you may shock them by trying to be impartial and at least hear them out. Shocking people is kinda what you do, it’s 50/50 for the outcome for you guys, free will. I still don’t see reconciliation in either case, if you’re hearing them out there’s no after that.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aquarius, Cancer, Libra, Aries, Leo & Sag

Oracles: ✨

61. Happy Accident

- Fortunate accidents can act as guides to edit and be open to where you should go next.

22. Counsel

- Seek out the counsel of those whose lives and creative work you most admire.

13 Abundance 💰

Abundance takes on many forms: material possessions, friendships, excellent health, emotional stability, unique experiences…

When you lock yourself into a narrow view on what defines abundance, you lose out on the whole picture of what it *could* mean. Open yourself up to as many forms of wealth and abundance that are possible and watch your blessings multiply. Always remember that focusing on what you do not have is a sure-fire way to feed the energy and make that your truth. Every day watch for signs of abundance from the universe - acknowledge and be thankful, thus encouraging the continued flow of energy. Remember the universe will always provide you with what you need.

We enter into April as:

Shrinking Violet 😥

“I don’t trust my intuition.”

Are you retreating from a situation that could bring you success? We all abandon projects that seemingly lack merit. However, Shrinking Violet indicates you may not be trusting your intuition, which is mostly likely on target. Choose three people to ask advice from, then take their advice, throw it out the window and go with your gut. There is every indication you should complete the task at hand. Block yourself off from thoughts of what will happen at the completion stage. Stay the process, don’t worry about the ending, or results, don’t be frightened. Just continue on.

What is to be learned in April:

Bahana Beige 🎨

“I quietly listen, allowing you to color your own palate.”

If you are drawn to Bahana Beige, it is time to take an impartial look at your situation and drop the excuses. Your answers will come when you remain still. Take no action at this time. The action of Bahana Beige is to listen. Now is the time to consider the other side, because there may be some valuable insights in another point of view. This technique can help produce great strides in communication in your relationships. When we are fixed on a position (or opinion), we are not in the neutral space of Bahana Beige.

This is an opportunity to see who you are in a relationship. Ask yourself, “How does my present attitude or position serve me?” When you answer this question, you will begin to gain more insight into choosing what is for the highest good in any situation. Another way to position a question is in thinking from the other person’s point of view. Is there another way to see this situation? What do you see now?

Beige may be a lucky color 🤎

[chicken-delight]

OK guys… Another voice to text…

I’m just going to talk about the big three because I’m more sure of myself in that respect.  For me, the Leo moon x Pisces moon is what does it. The Leo moon is so sure of itself. The sense of self is so strong that it takes a lot for it to wave in the wind so to speak. Pisces moon to me. Is like an emotional sponge. Everything means everything all the time. Kind of manic. The sense of self is always fluid and I’m not talking about self-esteem I’m talking about who you believe you are at any given moment.  So there’s a strong difference there that makes the Pisces moon sort of in awe of the Leo moons self-assuredness. it’s very attractive to them because deep inside they wish they could have that quality. Plus  Robbie’s cancer sun brings in a real profound, emotional intensity that Marty’s Scorpio sun is searching for an everyone they meet but can’t find it.  And the cancer sun is so glad someone can matchand then the rising signs are all about  the ping-pong match that is a conversation and is a relationship Robbie has an Aquarius rising, which is just so magnetic and charismatic and artistic and worldly without being pretentious.  Any Aquarius placement has a quality of being able to understand where someone else is coming from without having had that experience before, and being able to relate to them and make them feel heard. And then Marty’s Leo rising is just always so excited. especially when they’re with someone who they feel gets them. although Leo has a stereotype of being so assertive and a quality of “I don’t care what anyone thinks I’m doing my thing I’m right and your wrong”ness, I feel like those other two water signs really cut that off. And it’s more . Leo, rising’s, are the people who just know how to talk to everyone, even if  the context and interaction is impersonal, they make everyone feel like they made a friend. And it doesn’t take a lot of effort for them to be so charming and warm and open in that way.  so I am imagining when they’re with each other and when they’re talking with each other, it’s very much like Robbie is leading but Martys in the passenger seat going like yeah yeah i get it and robbies like do you really?? well do you get this too?____”. again there’s very much a sense of what they find in each other is something that they don’t find in a lot of other people. So it’s all very exciting and new and interesting. And it never stops being that way. I don’t know if this will connect the dots for anyone else.  but I see this when they’re talking about each other and now I’m seeing it in the quotes. Where it’s like Robbie is just sort of walking through it all and that’s very enticing to Marty. He wants to be able to be that blasé but he can’t and that is something that he knows limits him. but that yin and yang makes for a very strong partnership. Every time Marty talks about Robbie it’s like his relaying this epic tale about like sir Lancelot or something. and Robbie talks about Marty with so much affection but there’s also a distance there, which I think comes from his fire and air dominated chart. Internally, though it’s there’s a lot more going on in Robbie, in general than what he puts out into the universe. But anyways… Martys the golden retriever robbie is the black cat. UGh I’m trying to put into words what Robbie is getting out of it because I feel like I’ve talk to much about Marty. I hear him talk about Levon and Dominique and Bob Dylan and Marty kind of surprised about how comfortable he feels around them. Like those soul connections. and so that tells me that he doesn’t feel that a lot. And I think with the other guys in the band he’s always feeling like he needs to plead his case and be so sure that they understand where he’s coming from and then they can all relax. And then with those key relationships, he just feels so safe in them. It’s a safety thing for Robbie. he is a cancer. He’s a nurturer, he likes the feeling of being at home physically and with people. I hope this resonates with the rest of you. I would really suck if you guys are like Erica no.

PLUGGING IN ROBBIE AND MARTYS ASTRO CHARTS LIKE ITS MY FINAL MATH EXAM

[ellmeria]

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝕀

The following observations are some of the things I have noticed in people around me. They may or may not resonate with you as we have to consider the entire chart for precise and accurate insights.

↪Parents who have their personal planets in their child/children's 6th House may become too strict and controlling. Parents are naturally strict, but with these placements, they can go further. It is because the 6th House is very critical, and it rules health and daily routines. They are the types to ask their child/children, “Why aren't you sleeping yet?” at 9 PM while giving you one of those intimidating stares.

↪Mercury-Jupiter harsh aspects in the natal chart indicate having strong opinions on things such as politics, law, and religion. And because these areas are sensitive, they are more prone to heated arguments. (Harsh aspects are conjunction, square, and opposition)

↪I know a lot of Cancer Sun women who got pregnant at an early age. They were not underaged when it happened, but the timing was considered “early” by most people. Cancer rules the 4th House of motherhood. That said, most of them are nurturing mothers and take good care of their babies despite having them at that age.

↪Mercury Square Mars in synastry may indicate lots and lots of fighting. In conflicts (which can happen most of the time), the mercury person may hurt the mars person verbally. And the mars person may hurt the mercury person physically.

↪We all know that Aries Venus natives may be direct, impatient, and easily become bored in love. But if the native also has major Taurus placements, they may become willing to take it slow and even cause them to be attached easily. I think of them as people who fall in love quickly but fall out of love slowly.

↪The most emotionally intelligent person I know was a Pisces Sun. It is not surprising knowing that they have great intuition. But on top of that, they are also observant. My former teacher has this. I remember I was constantly looking after my friend in class because she was uncomfortable. I was sure I was doing that subtly, but he still noticed. He approached my friend after that and asked her if she was okay. I was like, how did you know, sir? Also, most of them maintain a strong facade, so it surprises me to see how they care deep inside. Min Yoongi of BTS also has this, and he is exactly like that. Angels.

↪Pisces and Aquarius in the Big 3 make for someone who can do beautiful digital edits. It can be anything, video edits, PowerPoint edits, etc. It is because the creativity of the Pisces is working together with the Aquarius' interest in technology. Bonus points if they also have Venusian placements. (Additional eye for aesthetics)

↪Jupiter in fixed signs or houses may indicate someone who has firm beliefs, morals, and principles, regardless if they are good or bad. Despite that, they do not shove their beliefs on other people. It is more within themselves. On the other hand, if you try to push YOURS on them...

↪Adding to that (^), parents or guardians must raise these children with good morals. They will stand by that principle throughout their lives, so please teach them well. (It applies to all, but I want to emphasize it in this placement following the observation above)

↪Water Risings look so good while sweating? It may sound weird, but they flourish more with it. Like, the features of their face are becoming more evident? I don't know how to explain it.

↪I have seen observations here stating that the 4th House synastry is so comfortable because you will feel at home with that person. In my opinion, it may not always be good. Since the 4th House rules the home, it depends on what kind of family you grew up with. If someone has traumas due to their family, dating someone who has placements in their 4th House may only remind them of these traumas. In that case, the sense of familiarity will not bring them comfort but a reminiscence of their bad experiences.

↪Sagittariuses are my favorite mentors. They are truly gifted with the power of teaching: intelligent, funny, inspiring, and direct to the point. And because this sign is mutable, they know how to deal with various kinds of students. They make the learning experience fun and exciting. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen is a great example.

↪Also, Sagittarius Suns or Risings give off the vibes of someone respectable, even if they do not have influential jobs, positions, whatsoever. They look like someone you must look up to. I think it is because Sagittarius rules the 9th House of teaching. And teachers are influential people.

↪Tauruses are not only picky with food. They are picky with people and things in general: circle of friends, romantic partners, scents, clothes, places, anything. They like things of VALUE.

↪I have noticed that Mars in the 12th House does not know how to express their anger, especially in front of a crowd. They often doubt if the reason behind their anger is enough for them to react that way, so they reflect on it deeply. They seem lost and awkward when they are upset with something or someone.

↪Fixed dominants tend to leave their mark on the world because they are more likely to stick to one specific approach to something. For instance, a fixed dominant may stick to one particular genre in writing. Soon, because of a lot of practice, they will be known as someone who writes that genre. That will be their trademark. Another example is when a fixed dominant sticks to one particular aesthetic, people will recognize them through that aesthetic because they somehow correlate it with them.

“𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦; 𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘻𝘻𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘦?” – 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘨𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘺

Side note: Yay, my first astrology observations post is here! I pour my all into this, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please let me know if it resonates with you or not. Constructive criticisms will be helpful as I am still a beginner. As always, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated. 💙

The photos and dividers used are not mine. Credit to the rightful owner/s.

Copyright © 2022 ellmeria | All rights reserved.

[lustbile]

ah yes my presence has been requested but like…… do u wanna know sexually, romatically or just in general???? jaehyun is…. smthin else LOL like he gives me idgaf vibes but also gives me like ultimate form of romance vibes….. maybe its bc hes an aqua sun but has a taurus moon and pisces rising…. but he also has an aqua venus so likely he would make u chase him lol. def the type to pretend he isnt THAT interested and in all realness probably thinks that open affection and trusting others doesnt seem that safe…. like on one hand hes rly a romantic guy but can also be detached and/or unpredictable!! he has a leo lillith which is insane to me and tells me alot abt him actually, very provocative and visually and sexually appealing (as we all know LOL what a man) hes an aqua stellium which literally just means Emotionally Stunted and Hates Everyone and hes actually rly introverted and easily annoyed by ppl, does not like talking abt how hes feeling (wow an aquarius not liking their own feelings??? shocker) his taurus moon and pisces rising combo r what make him a romantic, w his taurus moon in the second house he tends to only rly entertain/make the first move in a relationship only if hes sure the other party likes him first lol. hes actually very dependant on positive feedback and often looks for admiration but hes also very capable and loyal which is so sweet :,) on the neg side tho w his moon square venus his emotional and romantic needs can actually cause tensions,, and he may not know what he wants. bc of his auqa venus he can come off as stand-offish, is threatened by restrictions of any kind, and will also need his own space. unfortunately, (this is NOT a reflection of him at all, just an observation of this placement in his chart.) he could have affairs, as it is hard for him to define his own boundaries and can get hurt in love very easily. marraige may not be for him, tbh. long distance relationships may seem more attainable or desirable to him tho!! v uncomfortable w grand shows of emotions. hes honestly very open-minded and sees the world the way he wants,, n both his appearances and mannerisms make him quite intriguing to others. (bc of his pisces rising!! honestly not surprised that hes a pisces rising bc he has a v piscean/water sign face/look) sexually hes actually rly more likely to be more into unconventional things, i think. in sex i dont THINK he has a chance of being submissive, if at all. he’s dominant for sure, but not in the way johnny or yuta are. jaehyun idealizes sexuality and love, but hes actually rly rly passionate. i def think hes into your basic rougher kinks: choking, biting, scratching, etc. probably enjoys a bit of slapping, maybe degradation too. could probably into pet play. (puppy moreso than kitten, imo) following on that, probably is elated to let other nct members see you like that. would probably have you sit at his feet in lingerie w your tail and ears, a pretty collar and leash attached to your neck while he has company. it brings out that obsessive need for him to control, and absolutely drives him nuts (especially knowing in the back of his mind that you love and trust him so much that you would let yourself be put in this situation in the first place and enjoy it just as much as he does). i dont think he would ever share, tho, or let anyone watch him fuck you. he seems more like someone who would enjoy sir and master more than daddy when it comes to titles. wants to hear you vocalize everything. affirmations, answering his questions, dissatisfactions, everything. i dont think he’s loud. probably more likely to grunt and growl, and maybe youll get a deep, languide moan when he cums. i do think he’s into somnophilia, the idea of you giving him that level of control, letting him use you like a fleshlight probably rly, rly gets him going. a TEASE. im not a jae bias, but thinking abt him pressing you into the matress w his hand on the back of ur neck and just lowley telling u how bad he wants you, teasing abt how needy u are for his dick. (continuing in another ask lol rip)-🪐

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I’m gonna put the other message in a readmore just so they can be in the same post

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is probably into non-con and honestly, more likely to be into dubcon as hes probably a horny ass bitch. could be into period sex, knife play, and asphyxiation play. would absolutely be the typa man to push your face into his pelvis while you suck him off and plug your nose. thrives off the choking noises you make and the whimper you let out when you pull off his dick and he gives u a lil slap on the face. i feel like jae is on another level when it omes to being freaky, you just have to drag it out of him. theres alot of layers to this man and honestly if you want a relationship w him be prepared to put in WORK lol bc (based on his chart, ffs dont attack me for saying this) any type of insecurities where you get jealous/defensive will probably make him vanish into thin air. will probably let problems sit and rot before confronting them. will be more likely to walk out than to fix things unless hes like RLY in love with you. like i said, be prepared to put in work lol. jaehyun is an enigma but he has such potential to be an incredible partner, lover, and best friend. (also this is the first time im ~actually~ looking at his chart lol dont @ me if some things r wrong or off!!!)

[bratz-kitten]

questions i have for the signs

libra suns – do you learn a lot from observing other people’s behaviours? because libras do so well in group settings, and they value their emotional intelligence and ability for being likeable a lot. once, a libra sun man came up to me and just told me that he learned a lot of his behaviours from observing others and that’s how he learned better coping mechanisms/better ways of expressing himself and his emotions. at first, i found that absolutely preposterous because as someone who’s always focused so much on my own individuality and authenticity, the thought of taking aspects from other people just repulsed me, but the more i think about it, the more it makes sense – after all, there’s so much to learn from others and since observational skills are so important, why not use them to better ourselves?

also, to my libra suns once again – how the hell have you managed to build a reputation for being stable and peaceful? i swear every libra i’ve ever met was absolutely unstable – the type to throw their phones on the wall during arguments, to randomly go up to me and start psychoanalysing me, to immediately go confrontational mode no matter if they were in the middle of class, simply because they couldn’t leave shit unresolved. i’ve noticed your tendency for playing devil’s advocate in every situation in the name of “fairness” has you being VERY confrontational. it’s kinda refreshing not gonna lie.

now, ladies.. have we noticed how misogynistic cancer sun men can be or am i losing my mind? i swear to god i’ve never met ONE in my life who didn’t have extremely sexist opinions. even the ones who seem like great people and who get along with everybody – they still think that girls who sleep around casually have no self-respect and that sex workers are disgusting. also, hating on girls for doing the buss it challenge and for posting pictures where they’re showing skin and feeling themselves? saying they’re sluts? as if they’re not the same men who click on those videos? not only the misogynist part, but also extreme anger issues that come out at the most unexpected times. i believe it’s their traditionalist views and their hatred for their own femininity that has them projecting their insecurities onto other women. either way, cancer men terrify me. perhaps it’s that my father’s a cancer and he’s the blueprint of all terrible men in my life, or perhaps cancer men really are batshit crazy. either way, please change my mind lol there are probably some good ones out there but my experience has me believing otherwise

pisces mars – (18+) do you get pleasure from simply pleasuring your partner? i do this and i feel like it’s to a point where it’s toxic, every time i’m the one receiving i’ll be thinking about how i could be using this time to pleasure them instead, even if it feels really good. i don’t know what it is but the act of knowing i’m making someone feel good feels 1000 times better than everything else, it feels my soul and i think it’s a pisces mars thing. it’s crazy because it’s only in sexual matters, in day-to-day basis i’m very assertive but in bed i’m extremely submissive and just want to fulfil all of my partner’s needs. do you also have very intricate sexual fantasies that you’re constantly thinking about? also, are you masoquistic? i’ve seen other pisces mars talking about this, about how they get off on pain a lot and it makes me feel less alone. it might also relate to lilith in the 12th house because it indicates mixing pain with pleasure + escapism through fantasies + some very extreme fetishes like r*pe-play. let’s start this discussion lol

leo placements – how does it feel like being the baddest bitches alive? serious answers only. also stop making me fall in love with you it’s annoying

capricorn/scorpio suns, do you gravitate a lot towards one another? im a capricorn and i attract a lot of scorpio placements, and scorpios are the people who bring me the most intense personal transformations. it’s also definitely because i have scorpio in the 8th, but either way, i feel like these two signs attract each other like crazy because they’re the darkest signs. scorpio simbolizes death while capricorn simbolizes the devil, they’re both so difficult, complex and drawn to dark topics that i feel like it’s a match made in heaven – or hell. i’ve also observed that the most powerful power-couples in media are always relationships between capricorns and scorpios, too.

moon in the 10th house natives – do people baby you a lot? i feel like i’ll just be walking down the streets and my friends will be screaming at me to be careful like i’m a 5 year old, or offering to do things for me, or feeling an inherent need to supervise me as if i’ll get in deep shit if i’m left alone for more than 5 minutes LOL but i do think it’s something about this placement. moon in the 10th indicates being very emotional and getting easily overwhelmed, also a lot of charisma and being very sensitive when it comes to personal relationships. also the way we radiate authority makes others unconsciously be more obedient towards our needs, and we have a very strong need to protect others and create a family within our friend groups, which might be creating these dynamics.

leo suns/moons/risings – do you feel like having a low self-esteem quite literally contributes to the deterioration of your physical health? i think there’s such a stark difference between when you’re feeling insecure and in an unhealthy relationship vs when you leave the toxicity behind and work on your self-confidence, there’s an immediate glow up, like you’re literally glowing and it shows.

gemini suns – why do so many people hate you? even people who know nothing about astrology will say they hate geminis. genuine question because geminis are one of my favorite signs. i think it’s something about the way you easily adapt to other people’s personalities and mirror their energy, so you’ve built this reputation for being two-faced when you’re literally just.. socially intelligent.

air moons – how tf can you turn your emotions off? what do you mean using logic instead of feelings i will literally unalive myself

capricorn moons – how does it feel like having healthy coping mechanisms? oh wait, it’s not like you’d know LMFAOOOO

scorpio mars – are you as sexual as people portray you to be or do you feel a bit weird about the way people talk about you? because people always talk about scorpio mars as this sex machines, but like.. scorpio’s a water sign. very sensitive. i’ve noticed you guys literally avoid having sex with people because it’s like giving them a part of your soul, and you know you’ll get extremely attached to them afterwards. is sex a casual thing for you or can you only feel satisfied when there’s an emotional connection established? this goes for all water sign mars by the way.

scorpio risings – do you only listen to music that you feel has a deep meaning? my brother is a scorpio rising and he prides himself a lot on his music taste and how deep the music he listens to is. and as an aries rising im just like.. sir i listen to doja cat because hearing her sing about sex and fat tiddies makes me happy

[reverielix]

Excuse me Sir, Sorry to bother you. But frankly I'm new to this astrology topic but it's very fascinating to say the least.

Friend asked me to do a natal chart? No clue. Have no clue. Saw the previous post, was wondering if you help a stranger out here ? Lol.

Hi haha!

I’m a Miss but OFC I CAN TELL YOU MORE ABOUT IT! (Can you tell I’m excited? Lol) I’ll be seizing this opportunity to make an...

Astrology basics masterpost

Okay first off, the natal chart is a “snap shot” of the sky when you were born with the earth in the middle. There are 4 compounds that birth charts are made of:

1. The signs

You’ve definitely already heard of zodiac signs. In astrology, the sky is divided into 12 equal parts, each reserved for a sign starting at Aries and ending at Pisces. It goes like this: Aries ♈️, Taurus ♉️, Gemini ♊️, Cancer ♋️, Leo ♌️, Virgo ♍️, Libra ♎️, Scorpio ♏️, Sagittarius ♐️, Capricorn ♑️, Aquarius ♒️, Pisces ♓️

Basically, each sign is associated with certain character traits (which range many more than I or any singular source could encompass in short, I left a few links for gathering information in the end of this post). But it always depends on how evolved the person is. Aquarians CAN be detached if not evolved, but also have many more qualities such as their modality and element (which imply traits such as their innovative nature, intellect, hunger for knowledge, empathy, sociability,...)

So basically there are 4 elements (fire, earth, air and water) in astrology and 3 modalities (cardinal, fixed, mutable) which all carry certain meanings to them. Those elements and modalities are evenly distributed within the zodiac and move along the signs in the order I wrote them up above. So we start with cardinal fire (Aries), then we follow up with fixed earth (Taurus), after that we’ve got mutable air (Gemini), then again a cardinal sign but this time belonging to the water signs (Cancer), and so on. Additionally, all earth and water signs are of negative polarity while fire and air are of positive polarity.

The signs are the outermost circle you see when looking at your birth/natal chart. (On the left, where the arrow points, for instance, was Virgo ♍️ when & where you were born) They represent the way that you express a certain core part (3rd point) of yourself.

2. The houses

The numbers you see around the innermost circle with the lines in it are the houses. Each house is ruled by a sign in modern astrology: Aries is the first sign, so it rules the first house,...). This means that each house is afflicted with one sign and its qualities and traits.

Each house represents an area of life: The 4th house—ruled by Cancer—represents the home, comfort zone, where we crave for stability and emotional support as well as a lot more.

The angular houses ruled by cardinal signs, so: the 1st house (ascendant/rising), the 4th house (ic/ Imum Coeli), the 7th house (descendant), the 10th house (mc/midheaven) show in the picture you sent me with arrows and have a special significance in the chart + also have aspects (4th point) to them shown.

The first 6 houses are afflicted most with yourself and the last 6 houses have to do with your social/public self (e.g.: 2nd house has to do with resources and the 8th with shares resources). This can also be applied to each sign ruling the house.

3. The celestial bodies

When somebody asks what your zodiac sign is, you would answer with Capricorn, when in actuality, it’s just your sun sign (so one of many zodiac signs in your chart).

Each celestial body represents a core part of the human psyche/personality and also rules a/two sign(s) and with that a/two house(s). Another terminology for rulership can be domicile (e.g.: Saturn is in domicile in Capricorn).

Every planet is afflicted with the signs (and houses) in the form of essential dignity (whether in terms of exaltation/fall or detriment/domicile)

The sun rules Leo and the 5th house. These connections are made as to better understand each house/sign/planet and clarify/stress the connections between these three “compounds”. So, ruling Leo and the 5th house, the sun represents how we express ourselves and how we perform along with our egos, overall sense of identity and self-awareness among other things.

Before you say that you (know people who) don’t relate to their zodiac sign or don’t seem to present yourself/themselves like that at all: a placement (celestial body in a sign in a house) always depends on the aspects and also the house that nobody talks about. You’re not only a Capricorn, but a Capricorn sun in the 4th house conjunct Mercury,... (+ other aspects). Your sun in the 12th/7th/8th houses (houses, among others, afflicted with the subconscious) can mean that your way to express yourself is more in the background or not quite figured out yet. (With Leo in the 12th house that may also apply to you:) In the case of the 12th house, you may want to express yourself, but don’t exactly know how to...

Also, all of your chart matters! The sun sign is only a part of it, though one of the 3 most important placements (sun, moon, rising).

For the following paragraph keep in mind: personal/inner celestial bodies/planets (houses and signs matter equally), generational/outer planets/placements (houses matter most because they move slowly along the zodiac. the slower they move, the less the sign matters.)

The celestial bodies used in astrology aren’t limited to a certain amount as asteroids can also be interpreted/also have meanings but the most commonly used and talked about are: the sun, the moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars (Nodes, Vertex — aren’t celestial bodies but fall into the “sign & house are important” category and are a tool that function/are illustrated like celestial bodies), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto (Chiron, black moon Lilith)

You can see each celestial body’s name listed with its symbol in the bottom right corner of the screenshot you sent me and can then look at the circle between the signs and house numbers for where they are placed.

Lastly, planets are afflicted with each other as well since generational planets can be higher octaves of personal planets, and “get along” or don’t “get along” just like the signs, whose compatibility is determined by...

4. The aspects

The expression of every planet depends on these! Aspects show the relationship between two placements and how they connect into one whole personality (Additional information about humans in general: our personality integrates at around the ages of 7 to 9. Before that, we have different needs and wants but not one integrated personality that is made of interwoven traits, qualities,...). They point out how many degrees two or more placements are away from each other (e.g. 180deg = opposition). So when you look at your own chart, you can see that Virgo ♍️ and Pisces ♓️ are in opposition to each other. This also means that people born during Pisces season and people born during Virgo season celebrate their birthdays approximately 6 months apart from each other (because the sun needs a year to transit through the signs).

There are major and minor aspects. Major aspects are usually displayed in the innermost space of the circle using different colored lines and are an umbrella term for: the opposition, the square, the conjunction, the trine and the sextile. Minor aspects are usually listed in extended chart selection options (semi-sextiles, quincunxes, quintiles,...)

Those are then divided into hard/challenging (square, opposition,...), neutral (conjunction,...) and soft/harmonious (trine, sextile,...) aspects. Example: your Sagittarius Mercury (communication, (early) education, rationality, speech, day-to-day expression, perfectionism/detail-orientation,...) in the 4th in a trine (same element, a “flow of energy”) with your Aries moon (emotions, empathy, feelings of security, nurture, comfort,...) in the 8th can indicate potential for the verbal expression of your emotions. You may let your emotions out by talking to people who you live with or your immediate family. Moreover, you could have a desire to write about your emotions in a philosophical/educational way to make others think, but decide to keep your writing to yourself or your closest circle nonetheless. One could chat about an aspect for sooo long just because there are so many things associated with the houses, signs, aspects and celestial bodies. There are so many different angles to take and you’re never done learning about astrology.

Whenever you ask somebody what sign is most compatible with yours, you’d look at the aspects between your sign and other signs to determine if your placements are in a harmonious relationship with each other, though synastry (astrology of compatibility between two birth chart) is much more complex then that.

Lastly, aspects don’t go specifically with one sign/house/celestial body, and some placements can also be unaspected. There are also things such as retrogrades, chart shapes, aspect patterns, dominant signs, persona charts, interceptions and much more but that would definitely go beyond the scope. Let me know if you’d like for me to make a post going in depth regarding those things.

How astrology on social media and day-to-day life has been altered to be regarded as something it is not:

The key is to view modern astrology less as a predictive tool or proof for assumption—because frankly it isn’t—but more as a tool to recognize psychological patterns and behavioral tendencies, which ultimately are what astrology illustrates through elements in the sky. So, no, actions cannot be justified because somebody has a certain placement. (As I mentioned above, it is crucial to regard that placements can be evolved or not evolved and therefore can “manifest” (not the candles in a circle for clear skin and money kind lol) differently). Lastly, astrology doesn’t tell you what to do and you alone have the power over your behavior. You can break free from the patterns illustrated and tendencies pointed out. It’s all about who you choose to be.

Please mark that the links for planets, signs and houses don’t encompass everything that the planets/houses/signs illustrate. For more information I recommend Hannah’s Elsewhere, astro-charts, astro.com, cafe.astrology or astrology.com (lmk if you know about more sources).

[paellaplease]

revali x reader 16 (i think?) verklempt please ❤️

16. verklempt - completely and utterly overcome with emotion

19. temerate - to break a bond or promise

pairing: revali x reader summary:  falling in love is difficult when neither of you know the end is near.

   Night had fallen by the time you mustered the courage to walk up to him. He watched the shining caps of your barely worn boots approach the other side of the campfire, sensing your nervousness as you awkwardly stood for a few beats, weaving and unweaving your fingers. 

Either his reputation as the strongest Champion preceded him, or he was completely unapproachable. Throughout the day you would chance a look at him from across the camp, quickly averting your eyes the moment he noticed. You were part of the Princess’ research effort and therefore had some questions— that much he was certain of. Yet you’ve been dancing around him for hours, gathering the will to speak only to have it snuffed out the moment he acknowledged your presence. 

Embers lifted from the flames and flickered into the night sky as you finally faced him. Revali held his tongue and gathered his patience, trying to hide the glitter in his eyes at the chance of ‘wowing’ another admirer (nevermind that you were the first). 

“Champion, uh sir,” you fumbled with the titles. The question fell from your lips so quickly that his disappointment didn’t register until a second later. “What kind of flower do you favour the most?” 

“...”

If the following silence wasn’t damning enough, the Rito was honestly at a loss for how to respond to such an inane question. Seriously? He was better than this. Others have made more important inquiries and had to wait weeks, if not months, for him to clear time in his busy schedule and reply. 

Something like this didn’t deserve attention, let alone an answer. 

“Swift violets.” He said, before rising from his seat by the fire, dead leaves crunching under the weight of him as he made a beeline straight for his tent. 

Parting the canvas, he pretends to miss the earnest wave of goodbye you send his way, ignoring the static in his chest the moment his head hits the pillow. Sleep comes quickly. 

*

A month later you meet again. 

The universe seemed to adore playing tricks on him. Crossing the threshold of his home, he catches you investigating the decorative shells hanging by his kitchen window. Amusingly, you were balancing on the tips of your toes, its placement just a tad too high.  

There’s something different this time around. You seemed more at ease with your surroundings, no longer jumping at every sound like a stranger in their own skin. The tips of your boots were scuffed with use, and the minute cuts and imperfections in your clothes spoke of days spent in hard work and travel. 

Though some things still remain the same. He holds back his smirk when you stumble forward in surprise at the sound of your name, getting straight to business once you were safe from the risk of falling over. “I believe you’re the researcher sent to assess my progress with Vah Medoh?” 

“Yes, I am.” You’re quick to snap back into stiff professionalism, he’ll give you that. The bow is low and formal, your back so still that someone could confidently rest a cup and saucer on it. An introduction spills out, followed by an apology when you realise he already knows who you are from the briefing he was given days earlier in Hyrule Castle. 

The task was simple really. King Rhoam Bosphoramus wanted a full report on the breadth of Hyrule’s offensive capabilities against Calamity Ganon. From Guardians to Divine Beasts, much had been done in the past year in preparation for their greatest adversary. Now as the whirlwind began to settle, all must be accounted for, down to the last soldier. 

Your report was just a drop in what will be an immense ocean of information currently being collated. But it was nevertheless quite vital. He wonders how someone like you was selected for such a task. 

“Let’s do our best.” You blurt. Revali could see the millions of thoughts racing behind your eyes when you decide to break away from your military-stiff posture, raising a hand in the traditional Hyrulean greeting between strangers.

The lines of your palm stretch before him like deeply-woven thread. He glances at the wrinkles and grooves in your flesh, remembering that some mystics believe such lines could predict something as unknown as the future. He can’t help but wonder what yours might foretell. 

Pressing his wing to your outstretched hand, he declared his agreement. “Of course. You’ll soon see that my ability to pilot Medoh is nothing short of perfect.” 

He can’t help it. “And no questions of the botanical sort, understood?”

The sudden playful grin you give him makes all his witty quips screech to a halt, his focus trained solely on the way your face instantly lights up when it isn't held down by strict politeness or pure nervous energy. “I’ll be sure to steer clear from them this time, Champion. You have my word.” 

*

Both of you eventually fall into a comfortable routine. Meals are made together and the chores are done quickly through combined effort. You catch on well, cottoning on to the needs of the day based on the tasks you both decide on the night before. 

After breakfast he finds his gear and yours already neatly arranged by the doorway, allowing him additional time with Vah Medoh and you the chance to closely observe. The idea of training with an audience never bothered him, but knowing you followed close behind, notebook at the ready, gave him the extra push to perform just a level better than his previous.

One more arrow, one more extravagant somersault in the air. He even maneuvers Medoh to do a complete 180, reveling in the way your mouth pops open in awe as you walk across what was once the ceiling. 

“... .... --- .-- / --- ..-. ..-.” The ancient machine complains, unhappy to be on their back. The Rito pilot pats the metal wall apologetically, watching as you excitedly flit from one end to the other, feeling quite pleased with himself. 

*

Revali dreams of a cliff’s edge.

The precipice looms before him, nothing but fog and the unknown past the point where the ground stops and plummets. Revali looks at you and feels the smooth rock of the sea stone underneath his talons; hears the sound of crashing waves in the distance. Tantalising was the mystery of the void beyond. 

The meaning escapes him the moment he wakes up. His pillow was warmed by the glow of the sun, making him realise that he had slept in. Morning was just beginning, and both of you had a full schedule of tasks to get through. 

Diverting all his mental energy to the work ahead, he scrubs the sleep from his eyes and shakes away the odd thrill in his feathers. I’m better than this, he thinks. 

His tea is still warm when he arrives at the table. 

*

Word of the researcher shadowing him gets around quickly, it’s a small village after all. Some of the Elders glance at you in suspicion, old wounds from disagreements fought with the capital in the past lingering like dye in the water. You don’t seem to mind it, too caught up in the new sights and smells of this vibrant community built in the clouds. 

The Rito children are much more enthusiastic about your presence, sharing in your curiosity by matching your questions with their own. Getting comfortable on the wooden slats of the departure deck, you happily play encyclopedia for them. 

“Were you this cute back then?” You ask, watching a fledgling hop from one talon to another in imitation of a lizalfos, chasing after their friends who were the heroes in the story, at least for this round of the game.

“I was a model citizen.”

“Not true!” One of them pipes, poking him in the side with the tiniest of wings. “Mama said you were a hennish scallion.”

“You mean a hellish rapscallion,” the eldest of the bunch laughs, screaming when the ‘lizalfos’ tackles them into the ground. 

Crossing your arms, you fix him with your best look of authority, shaking your head in mock disappointment. “I apologise but the council has spoken.” He raises a brow at your antics, feeling a little light headed at the adorable way your eyes water whenever you hold back your laughter. “Do you plead guilty for perjury, Mr Champion?”

Champion. The word echoes and reverberates, wrapping tightly around his brain like the blue scarf fitted snugly on his neck. He likes the way you say it, making him wonder about something else. 

The words leave his mouth before he can think it through. “Revali will do just fine.”

Mirth drains from your face, replaced instead by surprise. “W-what?”

“I have a name.” He ignores the feeling of his feathers standing at the back of his neck, unclenching his jaw. Relax, he tells himself. “Better for you to call me that than to continuously mess up the titles.” 

“Still working on it,” you shrug. Then, you’re gesturing for him to step into your space, leaning forward just the same like you’re about to tell him a secret. You’re close enough for him to feel the warmth of your breath against his beak. He freezes, becoming hyper aware of his heart thundering against his ribcage, not daring to move even a muscle in fear of giving his thoughts away. 

“Revali then,” you murmur, almost too soft for him to hear. 

It was only when one of the children tugged at your sleeve, dragging you away to explain the appearance of another monster you’ve encountered in your travels, that he allows himself to breathe.

*

His presence had been requested at the Chief’s office, the old, war-weary Rito regretfully informing him that an urgent message had arrived. Multiple reports had noted an increase in the signs of Calamity Ganon’s resurgence. It came as no surprise, with every Blood Moon summoning more monsters from the void, an omen that something big was coming. 

Letters from the Princess implied the worst: that she had exhausted nearly all avenues in awakening her sealing power. The Spring of Wisdom would be her last chance, and after that, who knows? The Champions were to meet again in three weeks at the foot of the mountain, to celebrate or to re-strategise depending on the outcome. 

He was never the religious sort but by the Grace of Hylia, please let it be the former. 

A headache was beginning to form as he made his way home, the idea of knocking out on his hammock for an hour or so sounding extremely appealing. The day was coming to a close, a cold breeze chilling his back as the orange heat of the evening crept its way to night. 

You’re the first one to the hut this time, brown scuffed boots positioned neatly at the doorway. Revali stares at them for a second too long, wondering if you knew your time in the village was coming to an end earlier than expected. The information you had diligently collected was finally required, a little last minute if he had to comment but such were the nature of these things. 

The mental image of you puffing out your cheeks in frustration, complaining that you would have to organise the data on the way back, was enough to make his mood perk up— just a tiny bit. Picturing you disgruntled and annoyed, just like when the markets ran out of your favourite produce, was easier to stomach than the thought of saying goodbye. 

Leaning against the hardwood of the kitchen counter, you don’t notice him enter the room, too engrossed in the list you’re making.

It's a sight he'd seen before. If he forgot about the sobering news he'd just received, then the day would feel like any other. 

The open window frames your form, making you appear like a painting come to life. Rays of light streamed from the cracks in the blinds, illuminating the slope of your nose and curve of your mouth. 

Instinctively, you tilted your head to the source of warmth, instantly reminding him of the swift violets that would bloom by the Hebra cliffsides, forever seeking the sun. 

Oh. 

The ground had finally run out, earth and sky crashing together. There was no denying it now. Inwardly, he cursed himself, following the thought past the precipice, plunging himself deeper into the truth he'd avoided acknowledging for months. The universe truly was cruel. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t see it coming. The answer was clear as day, right from the beginning of its inception. 

It's the golden hour before sunset when Revali realises he’s in love with you. 

*

Wind plays with the jade clasps of his braids as he appraises Medoh’s central control unit. He’d done this maneuver many times before, enough that he could perform it with his eyes closed. 

It was your final day on assignment so shouldn’t he attempt an action that was more daring? He tried to ask. But you had rejected the proposal outright, reasoning that it suggested this would be the last time you both would meet at the top of the Divine Beast. “You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you smile. “I’ll visit once the fight is over.”

“Guess there’s no harm in going back to the basics,” he mused, inputting the commands before taking a step back.

Leaning against one of the columns, you watch with rapt attention as he points the Divine Beast south. The view abruptly shifts from the towering mountains of Hebra, to the grassy Tabantha Frontier, greenery spanning for miles and disappearing into the white, snowy wall of Mystathi’s Shelf. 

You tilt your head up, eyes trained on the heavens. There’s a solemn intensity in the way you look at the sky, as if trying to ascertain a greater meaning to your existence in this world between the cover of clouds and the endless sea of blue. It never gives you the acknowledgement that you desperately want, no matter how long you spend asking it, but that doesn’t stop you from searching anyway. 

He understands because he’s tried asking well, too many times to count. Eventually the young Rito stopped looking, opting to make an answer for himself instead. 

“Do you ever get tired of it?”

Revali’s silent for a moment, mulling over his answer, before he pushes away from the control unit and starts walking towards you. “There’s no spectacle grander, and I can’t recall a time I’ve been without it. As a Rito, it was your first companion, and so long as you looked above, you were never alone.” He shook his head. “Though I guess to love something so vast and beyond our comprehension would be rather imbecilic.” 

He’s running his mouth at this point, the hum of Vah Medoh loud in his ears. “... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / -.-. .... .. .-.. -..” the beast warns, but he continues anyway. 

“It’s far too foolish to pine for something that will never be in your grasp. So it would be best for me to realise that there’s no point in fighting it anymore. I mean, I should feel relieved by the concession that at least I’ll be remembered by someone other than myself.”

Your attentions were no longer directed at the sky, the intensity of your eyes piercing into him, seeing right through his poorly hidden deflections. “Are we still talking about the same thing?”

The urge to plunge himself over the edge and fly away by the sheer fuel of his embarrassment was beginning to feel very enticing. Trust his description of the sky to sound like a confession. “No,” he admits. 

“Then…”

Revali thinks about telling you— considers allowing himself to become vulnerable just this once.

You’re still here, feet planted firmly on the ground, within his reach at this very moment. There was nothing he wanted more than to take that last step forward, to close the gap that perpetually rests in between you both. He imagines what it would feel like to wrap his wings around you, and believes that it would be nothing less than holding infinity. 

Yet, despite this— despite everything, he sighs. “Another time.”

Almost like reading his mind, you simply nod in response, smiling as you reach out to him. He lets you take one of his wings in both your hands, the firm surety of your touch grounding him into the present. There’s no hesitation in your next words, only a promise of a thousand tomorrows lingering on the corner of your lips.

“Tell me when we meet again?”

“I swear it on my life.”

.

.

.

-

As usual, what was supposed to be a short and sweet answer became a creature of its own, demanding my full attention until it was finished. Writing in Revali’s POV is so fun, but there’s always that small bit of doubt that I can never do his character justice. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this one.

By the way! Hello to all the new visitors to my blog. Welcome yall. This is the prompt list. I may not answer straight away, but I shall do my best :) 

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Whumptober Day 25: Disorientation

 CW: Sick whumpee, emeto references, infection, medical whump, some references to institutionalized pet whump. Needles, track mark mention, IV placement (vague, non-graphic). Brief misgendering (out of delirium/not being able to see correctly, very brief/accidental). Includes hallucination referencing parental death.

TIMELINE: Immediately post-Infection

“Blood pressure is 100 over 60. That’s lowish, but not the worst it could be.” There’s a voice. He doesn’t know the voice. The words are familiar, though. Like a show on TV. “You got a temp?”

“One hundred three point four degrees,” Another voice says. They’re speaking so quickly he is struggling to follow them. 

“Shit. That’s up from when his guardian called.”

“We need to get that fever under control. What did she say about history?”

“Threw up this morning and didn’t stop throwing up. Says he admitted he’s been hurting for two days - classic symptoms, pain started at navel and moved right and down. His fever was probably present from when he woke up, but.” There’s a pause. Chris blinks his eyes and sees, blurry and bleary, a sense of someone shrugging.

“Why didn’t he tell anyone?”

There’s a snort. “Kev. You know why.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m going to get fucking blacklisted from EMT work if we get caught, you know. What we’re doing is illegal.”

“We’re not gonna get caught. I’ve been part of lib life since I was seventeen, just trust me on this.”

Chris tries to speak, to ask them who they are, where he is, but his lips move without sound. He can feel the vibration of an engine, hear it rumbling, and the world around him is shaking minutely, bumping along on a road. With each bump and pothole, the screaming pain in the boy’s abdomen crests like a wave crashing the shore inside him, and he can feel tears running freely, blurring his vision when he tries to blink, to see. 

Above him there is white inset with tiny round lights and his breath hitches. He tries to sit but there are straps holding him down, and his eyes widen, staring up in terror. 

No. No, no, no, they said I wouldn’t go back, they said-

He breathes in shallow whistles he can’t seem to control. His stomach is churning, flipping with new nausea, the pain throbbing through his abdomen, behind his eyes, all the way to his toes and fingertips. “Wh, where, where, where-where, where am, am I-”

“Sssshhhh.” Chris flinches and twists as best he can to look up and behind him, the person he vaguely saw shrugging before is there wearing a dark blue uniform with letters that hurt to look at across a pocket on the front. A plastic-gloved hand presses to Chris’s shoulder to help push him back down. “Hey no, you gotta stay steady, there, kiddo. Don’t move, you really, really don’t want to strain your muscles right now. We’re about to check and make sure Yoder’s guess is right.”

Chris keeps blinking, but his eyes are blurring with tears so quickly he can’t get a clear look at the person’s face. He can move one of his hands, at least, and he lifts it to lay it over the person’s glove, feels the slip-slide of plastic and the warmth of them underneath. He shivers, then whimpers when the pain worsens in response. “Nat? Where… where is… Please-... please, sir, h-hurts-”

“Not sir,” The person says, gently, a bit of auburn hair falling over their forehead. Their voice is low, soft and soothing. “Can you see?”

Chris rolls his eyes back towards the ceiling. The light coming from the little circles in the roof of the vehicle is slightly yellowed. It isn’t cold. It has weight but isn’t cold. There is padded blue plastic lining the walls, something like a bench on one side and a jump seat, like flight attendants sit in on airplanes…

She holds his hands, so so tightly, as they bump around. He clings to her, breathing fast. She tries to smile at him and her eyes are wet. “Just remember, Tris, even when the flight is kind of bumpy, you don’t have to worry about a thing. The pilots do this all the time.” Her face is pale, though, and he sees her looking ahead, where a woman in a skirt is buckling herself into a special seat.

“Mom? What’s, what’s, what-what-what is, is that, why does does she have a different-”

“It’s called a jump seat, baby,” The woman says, and the plane bumps up and back down, and his mother’s breath comes shaky and uneven.

“I love you, Tris,” His mother says suddenly, and her voice catches. “Baby, I love you so much-... l-love you-... it’s okay, baby, it’s okay-” Her voice is getting weird and thick like she’s speaking through water.

His breath catches at red spreading over the front of her shirt, and the plane stops tumbling through the air because she’s sitting with her back against a wall under a photo of the three of them last Christmas and her blood is on the wall behind her in a spray and Tristan starts to scream and he paints with blood on a cold white wall and the plane is hurtling through the air and his mother is gone and his father is gone and his life is gone-

The headache hits him and the thought he was having dissipates under the pain, one more piece of him throbbing.  “K-Kind... kind of… can see... hurts-... Mom, I’m, I’m sorry, Mom, I didn’t stay, stay hidden, I’m sorry-”

“Sssshhhh. You’re okay, you’re okay.” The person squeezes his shoulder, just a little. 

“What the fuck was that about?”

“Rescues do this. Don’t ask.”

“That’s fucking eerie, man-”

“I said don’t ask. We don’t ask them, they don’t tell us. It only makes it worse if they try to keep thinking about it, so just… forget he said anything. He probably already has.”

The headache slips back, and the pain in his stomach is stronger again. Chris hears a low voice from somewhere slightly further, relaying information, speaking in a monotone that is just soft enough that Chris can’t understand it. 

The person with the nice voice and pretty auburn hair is talking to him again. “Here we go. Tori’s going to help me get you some paperwork going and we’ve kind of got a system to get you in without the docs picking up on anything. Don’t worry, kiddo. You’re not the first we’ve pulled through this.”

“Th’ first…” He can’t keep his thoughts straight. Can’t understand what any of it means.

“Well, one good way to check,” The second voice says, and Chris turns to stare upwards at a man who gives him a tight-lipped smile. “Sorry, kiddo.” He presses both hands down on Chris’s abdomen, on the right side of his navel. Briefly, the sharp pain fades, and Chris’s breaths slow, just for a second. “All right, let’s check his response.” The man pulls his hands back.

Chris, strapped down to the table, arches his back in a nearly perfect arc as best he can, screaming hoarsely as the pain rushes back in, even worse than before. He is buried in it - he drowns in the waves of agony, like and unlike the pain of the shock collar, like and unlike the worst pain he’s ever felt.

His scream ends, and the two people in uniforms look at each other. “Well, that’s a fucking sign, isn’t it?”

“Check the heel. Okay, kiddo, we need to test one more thing to know for sure, okay?” The hand squeezes, one more time, at his shoulder, and then pulls back. “I’m going to prep fentanyl-”

“I don’t know, that pressure’s low for fentanyl.”

“... no, you’re right, it is, but... it’s our best option for controlling pain until we get there. It’s riding a line, but I think 100 over 60 can handle it.”

“You sure?”

“Confirm first, we’ll decide after that.”

“Got it.” Chris has only just settled back into the swaying nausea of hurt when there’s a flat, blunt impact against his bare heel - and he sobs, whimpering at the way pain rockets through him from his abdomen, spiraling like blades beneath his skin down his leg and up his side, gripping his heart. He jerks away but he’s strapped down too tightly to move. He wants to curl up but they just keep hurting him. They’re handlers, and this is fun, and once again Chris is the trainee and they’ve tied him down so he can’t stop them.

He starts to cry, hot tears running down his face, and the man who hit his heel says something to the other person but he can’t hear them over the rushing of his own blood in his ears, the pain inside him has taken him completely. He isn’t being good enough, that must be why they’re hurting him. He wasn’t good, and he is being punished, and the handlers have something they want he’s not giving, but he doesn’t know what, and he can’t… he can’t see…

“Please,” He whispers, groping blindly as much as he can. “Please, please, please, stop, please, I’ll, I’ll, I-I’ll do anything, please make it stop, I’ll b-be good-”

There’s a pause.

“Christ. Give him the fentanyl, Kev.”

The man’s voice is shaken. “... yeah, let’s do it. Uh, yeah, yeah. Right.”

“You handle the IV,” The first person says, the one who seems to know Nat. “Can you get him set up?”

“Dunham, I-”

“Just breathe, Kev. Let’s get his IV in.”

The Drip. No, not the Drip, no no no no-

Chris tries to beg - they have always loved his begging, and these new handlers will, too, he’s sure of it, he will beg them to let him keep Jake, he can be so so so good for them if they’ll only let him have Jake, if they won’t take his memory of Jake away. He can be so good...

He can’t make his mouth work any longer - it hurts too much, he can’t seem to force his brain and mouth to connect. He can’t do anything but cry, heaving wailing childlike sobs, and he is going to lose more people, all over again, he will never stop losing the people who love him-

Please, don’t take them away from me, please-

Mom, I’m sorry-

“Yeah, I’ve got it. You going to-”

“Hold his hand or something. He’s scared. They’re always scared.” The kind face, hazel eyes and auburn hair, slides back into his vision. Their voice softens and they brush a little hair away from his forehead. “Hey, you. We’re going to get you something to settle that pain, okay? Just hang on for me.” They turn away, briefly, voice raising above the rumbling engine, the low vibration, the rocking and swaying that neither of the two back here with him seem to notice like he does. “Amy, what’s our ETA?”

“Seven minutes,” A woman shouts back from the front. “Seven minutes and I’ve already confirmed Tori has a chart prepped to go. Before we stop I’ll make sure she’s ready to get us inside. She’s called in Mandela to do the surgery and you know the nurses wouldn’t tell WRU a fucking thing. Get that wrist bandaged over and we got this. Tori’s got our asses covered.”

“Gotta love that woman,” The person murmurs, turning back to Chris, smiling kindly down at him. “Look, we got you all set. Yoder-... uh, Natalie’s going to be there when you wake up, okay?”

What good does that do if they give him the Drip and he doesn’t know her anymore?

“Pl-please,” Chris whispers, managing to get his hand over the person’s, holding onto their wrist with the tightest grip of his thin fingers he can manage. Their skin feels blistering hot and he shakes, the world spinning around him. “Please, please, n-no, no, no no no, no needles, please-”

“I’m so sorry,” The person answers, soft-voiced and sincere. Handlers never say they’re sorry, Chris thinks. Handlers don’t apologize for hurting you. Handlers tell you you deserved it, or you wanted it, or you need it because you’re just a slut you fucking love this, but they never apologize. His hand is gently uncurled. He stares up into the person’s face, lost in the look of real compassion there. He has never seen someone who wears a uniform look at him like that. Like thy care. “This is just for the pain.”

“Jesus Christ,” The man says from the other side of him, and Chris turns, trying to see him more clearly. “I cut off the sleeve, Finn, it was too tight to roll up-” Chris hadn’t even noticed. “-and he’s-”

“Yeah, he’s a rescue, we talked about this, Kev, they’ll have a barcode-”

“No, he’s got track marks.”

They both go quiet, and Chris doesn’t know what the words mean together, although he knows them both separately. The silence draws out, and then the first person says, “They drug them. Heavily. You should always expect track marks on your rescue patients.”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-... this is the first one for me.”

“No problem. Just keep that in mind. Does he have a usable vein or no?”

“Yeah, these are old. I can get him set. Just… shook me up a little, is all.” There’s a swipe of something cold along the inside of his elbow, sickeningly familiar. Chris is good - he goes very still, waiting for the needle to slide into his skin.

He is a good statue boy.

“I, I’ve lost-... please, please, please don’t make me lose, make me lose them,” He whispers. “Please don’t, don’t take him away from me, please don’t take Jake-”

There’s a sharp pinch, more indistinct voices as they speak to each other, and then his eyes roll up and his body shudders hard, rattling the table.

He feels himself thunk back onto the softly-molded padded plastic, a burst of ache as he bites his tongue. The world goes white around all its edges, he slips and slides inside his mind, breath slowing or going faster and he’s no longer in his body enough to know the difference.

Both of the people in the back of the strange van start cursing low under their breath.

“Shit, shit shit shit, check that blood pressure again-”

“Could be a syncope, Yoder said he’s terrified of needles, could just be a trauma response-”

“It could be, sure, or he could be crashing. Fuck!”

“Don’t be crashing don’t be crashing don’t be crashing, come on kiddo, stay with me, don’t be crashing-”

Kiddo

“Could be the fentanyl, maybe his bp was too low to pull that off, oh shit what if we fucked this up, Finn-”

Little man

“We didn’t fuck this up. Okay? It’ll be okay, he’ll be fine. I’m checking his pressure again. Amy, what’s the hold up, we need to move!”

“Almost there, Dunham, I swear! Just hold him together until we get there.”

“Doing my fucking best, Amy!”

It’s okay, Tris

You’re okay, sweetie

It’s all right, baby, you’re okay, Mommy’s got you.

Chris takes in a breath, and blinks his eyes open one more time as something cool seems to pass through him, the throbbing agony fading, just a little. The world slows around him in its dizzying spin. He looks blearily up at the person, the handler or not-handler, who apologized. “Please… please…”

“I know,” They say, softly. There’s pressure, of some kind, but Chris is drifting now, his eyes moving without focus over the little circles of light. The two people move around him in some kind of strange dance that both of them know but Chris doesn’t, and that’s okay - he wouldn’t be able to dance like this, anyway. He’s dizzy but not sick with it, and that’s kind of funny, but he can’t remember how to laugh or why he thought that was funny at all.

Compression somewhere on his arm. It doesn’t matter. 

“70 over 40. God damn it.”

“Okay, let’s get that B.P. stable and check once more time before we get him inside to see if it’s up. Temp check?”

A pause, a sensation Chris can barely understand, and then more swearing. “His fever’s not fucking going down. Jesus fucking Christ-”

“Okay. Keep it calm, Kev.” The voice is even and steady, and Chris feels the barest brush of fingers over his shoulder. “We have got to stabilize this kid. Mandela can’t operate if he doesn’t stabilize. Come on, kiddo, don’t crash on us, come on come on come on-... Amy, confirm with Tori that we’re covered, please?”

“Tori is ready and waiting for us, Finn,” Amy says, a disembodied woman’s voice that swirls in a fog around Chris’s thoughts. “They’re prepping surgery, we can get him straight in. Mandela was close by and she’s already in the O.R. They’ll get him off your hands as soon as we stop, Tori’s got a new team called out to give us a break so you can tell his guardian the plan. Guardians will be in the E.R. waiting room, there’s two of them. They’re wearing-”

“Amy. We saw them when we picked him up, remember? Plus I’ve known Yoder for years.”

“... Right. Sorry.”

“You’re good. Tori really thought of everything, huh?”

“Christ, I love that woman,” The man - Kev - mutters. “Just… love her.”

“Didn’t I tell you? Tori’s on top of it. She’s been doing this longer than I have, she’s actually who got me into it at my last job. I was into the movement young but just, you know, flyers and stuff, little bit of sneaky shit. When I met her was after I got kicked out of the Army-”

“You got kicked out of the Army?”

“It’s a long story. Technically I’m not allowed over the Canadian border anymore, either. Anyway, when Tori got a new job, I just… kind of followed her here.”

“What, you weren’t born elbow-deep in La Resistance?”

“Ha, ha. Oh, here we go. Okay, kiddo, time to fix you up good as new.” The vehicle slows, and slows, and then there’s a hard turn, and Chris’s eyes close.

When the pain fades a little more, he finds he is too tired to open them again. He slips away into a warm and drifting darkness where the pain can’t reach him anymore.

I love you, baby boy.

Hold on.

I’ve got you.

You’re going to be just fine.

He hears something, high-pitched beeping noise that seems to be fading as the world around him fades. It’s all dark now, and warm, and he’s going to be okay.

She brushes fingers over his face, and he can barely hear the voices of the people inside the ambulance with him as he sinks into the darkness. 

“Shit shit shit, not again-”

“65 over 35-”

“Fuck, I’m gonna have new gray hair after this-... come on come on come on-”

“Finn!”

“What, Amy?”

“We’re here.”

---

Finn Dunham and Tori (mentioned) belong to @whump-tr0pes and are used with permission. Thanks to Athena as well for her help making this sound remotely realistic!

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary

[alphi-writes]

Hi, this flower event is a darling idea and your writing style is so fun to read! May I request Hyacinth and Lily of the Valley for Vil, and a Marigold and Morning Glory for Azul? I look forward to reading more from you — keep up the great work! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Thank you so much!! (*ﾉ∀`*)/♡ I'm glad you like my writing, and I'd be honored to write for you♡💐

Flowers: Hyacinth, Lily of the Valley, Marigold, Morning Glory

Characters: Vil, Azul

Vil Schoenheit

"Hey Vil, uhm, could you... actually nevermind-" You'd appeared in Vil's room later in the evening.

You wanted to spend some time with Vil, but you also didn't want to bother him. Before you could even ask to spend time together, you were already on your way out.

"What do you need, darling?" When you heard him speak, you stopped in your tracks, twirling around to meet his eye.

"Aha, nothing, I know you're busy right now." You waved your hand around in the air, avoiding eye contact.

This was usual for you. You would show up, try to speak, and then Vil would have to convince you to talk to him.

You weren't afraid if him, but you did have a lot of anxiety and you were not one to try and bother others.

"Come here." He didn't speak in a harsh tone, but you knew he had little patience.

You scuttled over, standing rigidly by his side.

"Oh darling, look at the circles under your eyes." He stood up, gently putting his hands on either side of your face.

He tilted your face upward and you glanced at him.

"Yeaa, I guess I haven't been sleeping well. It's no big deal though-" you gently moved his hands away,"-so what are you doing right now?"

Vil has known you for quite some time, and he knew you were feeling nervous right now.

"Well, I'm planning on pampering you." He pushed you into the seat in front of his mirror, opening his makeup box.

You instantly started panicking.

"Ah no-! You don't have to Vil, honestly I'm fine-"

"Are you denying me the pleasure of fixing you up?"

You went silent, sitting still while he brushed your hair out.

"You should start taking care of your hair a bit better. Tea Tree oil will soften it up in no time."

He droned on about many different topics as you sat there, listening intently all the while.

"Hm, how about some flowers to brighten up your hairstyle." He murmured quietly, probably to himself, but when you heard it you turned to look at him.

Vil walked to the other side of his room and picked up a single stem that had multiple small white bell-shaped blooms on it.

The flowers were placed at the crown of your head, a bloom hanging close to your eyebrow.

"Wow, what are these flowers called? They're cute." You looked at the flowers, a small smile growing on your lips.

"Lily of the Valley. They compliment your eyes well." He began to work on your eyes, deciding to give you lighter makeup than he usually did.

"You don't have to do this for me, Vil." Your eyes were closed, but you felt his hand hesitate for a moment.

"But of course I do-! Someone has to spoil you, and what better person than me." You heard him chuckle quietly, tapping your nose lightly.

You hummed a quiet tune as he worked, waiting to see the final product. You peaked an eye open when you heard him shuffle a bit.

"Is it done? Can I see?"

Vil nodded and moved aside so you could look in the mirror.

He was right about the flowers complimenting your eyes. The white color made your eyes look much brighter, and gave your simple hairstyle a bit of aesthetic flair.

"Wow... your skill with makeup never ceases to amaze me, Vil."

You heard him give a quiet 'I know' while you looked at his handy work.

Not only did the colors of the eyeshadow compliment your eye color, but he chose shades that popped against your skin tone as well.

"You're so talented Vil! I love it." When you turned to look at him, he was smiling down at you with a far off look in his eyes.

"Vil? Are you okay?" You stood up, stepping towards him.

"You look gorgeous, Y/N." He smiled and took your hand in his.

He draped his free-hand over your shoulder, and in turn you put your hand on his waist.

There was no music to follow, but you moved together in such an organized fashion that one would believe music was playing in your mind's only.

He stared into your eyes while you danced, causing your cheek to burn.

You chuckled nervously, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm soaking up your beauty, darling. You should be flattered."

Azul Ashengrotto

You wiped your hands off on your apron, smiling up at Azul.

"Thank you for helping today, Y/N." He bowed his head, standing back up and smiling.

"No problem, Azul, I don't mind helping anytime you need me."

As of late, Monstro Lounge had been overrun with customers, and Azul had come to ask you for help. You accepted, of course, and even if you were rushed around a lot today, you admittedly had a lot of fun.

"I actually quite like working in the lounge." You crossed your arms, smiling at the now-vacant lounge.

"As much as I didn't want to drag you into all this, I am very grateful for you. You were a pleasant addition to the lounge staff today." Azul admitted, smiling down at you.

"Well, if you ever want to hire me-" You folded your middle three fingers down, creating the 'call me' sign.

He laughed, setting a hand on your shoulder. He was about to say something else when Floyd appeared, draping himself over your body.

"Shrimpy~ I'm glad you helped us today- really lifted my mood for work!" Floyd kept talking, drawing in your full attention.

Behind you, Azul's gaze sharpened and his eyebrows furrowed. He was used to feeling jealousy, but he had never felt possessive of another person. It was odd for him, so instead of bringing attention to his problem, he decided to head to his office.

He sat down and attempted to start his paperwork. He waited for you. Maybe he was waiting for you to burst through the door and confess your love to him, or even for you to poke your head into his office just to say goodbye.

Luckily for him, you were that kind of person.

After about an hour of waiting, he heard his door open quietly, but sat still.

"Azul, hey." You whispered into the room.

He turned and looked over his shoulder and saw your head poking past the door, a large smile on your face.

"Thank you for letting me help tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

He finally turned his whole body to face you, nodding without a word.

You playfully sent and air kiss his way and pulled your head out from the doorway. He watched as you put your arm through and set a small vase of marigolds down.

"Goodnight Azul." You whispered, shutting his door.

He stared at the marigolds for a moment before his face began to burn. You must've noticed he was jealous, which would explain the marigolds. He brushed it off for the night and continued his paperwork.

The next day, he was pleasantly suprised to see you'd shown up to the lounge again.

"Ready for work, Mister Azul Sir!" You saluted him, laughing afterwards when he gave you a dumbfounded look.

"You're helping again today?"

"You say that as if you don't want my help." You smirked, turning to walk away.

"N-no! I do want your help!" He yelled out, startling you.

You turned back around and smiled, adjusting your apron.

"That's what I thought."

Azul watched as you walked off, preparing to start your work. He had never yelled out like that, so he took a moment to compose himself before he would begin the day.

As the day droned on into night, you found yourself glancing at Azul more often that you would've liked to admit.

Honestly, it was hard having feelings for Azul because of how wrapped up he was in his contracts. Nonetheless, you found yourself swooning over him day in and day out.

When you had your back turned, it was Azul's turn to stare at you. He was so confused with his feelings because he had never felt that way about someone.

You were always so kind to him, and he wasn't used to that. He was used to being teased and made fun of, and although the twins were his friends, they weren't always there for him like you were.

The night soon came to a close, and yet again it was just the two of you left.

He watched as you placed small baskets of condiments on each table. You were so precise, lightly adjusting the placement of each basket as you went.

When you were finally finished, you walked over to Azul.

"Welp, today was another good day. Right? I'm not sure." You laughed nonchalantly, tilting your head as you smiled at Azul.

He only nodded, not speaking.

"Is something bothering you, Azul?"

He shook his head.

"I'm just tired, today was a long day."

He heard you huff.

"Well fine, but if this continues, I'll beat the problems out if you!" You threatened him playfully, tapping his shoulder and making your way out of the Lounge.

"Goodnight, Azul, sleep well."

And then you were gone. Gone from the lounge, gone from his sight. His chest hurt and his stomach twisted.

Is this what it felt like? Is this what it would be like for days on end? He did not like this feeling, not one bit.

Others would find the good in feeling antsy and flustered all day, but Azul hated the feeling.

He wanted to feel alright. He wanted you to look at him the way he looked at you.

He wished you would gaze at him with that longing in your eyes that his eyes held.

And in the morning, his wish was granted.

.

He was startled when he heard a soft knock at his bedroom door.

It was quite early in the morning, and classes wouldn't start for another two hours, but here he was, opening his door.

He expected Floyd, and was about to scold him, but instead found you, with morning glories in your hands.

He looked down at the flowers. There was enough to made a good sized bouquet, and they had an earthy smell to them. The water in the vase that contained the flowers was slightly murky, and he could see dirt under your nails and on your finger tips.

"Sorry Azul, I just really wanted to give these to you-" you handed him the vase, "-Oh man, my hands are a mess."

He held the vase in his hands and watched as you tried to brush the dirt off onto your pants.

"I uhm... so this is a confession-" Your voice got a bit louder and your eyebrows creased, "- so you don't have to accept the flowers or anything, I just thought you would like them." You drabbled on, clearly nervous.

His eyes stung and he smiled sheepishly down at you. When you saw the tears in his eyes, you started freaking out.

"Ohmygosh! Are you allergic? Should I have gotten different flowers? I only have morning glories in my garden right now I didn't even think for a moment you were allergic or-" he laughed loudly, causing you to stop talking.

"I'm not allergic, Y/N. I just..."

He took a deep breath,

"I've been waiting for this for quite some time."

[writeiolite]

i know u said zleepovers are closed but i’m v curious why gemin* and piece* are your least favourite horoscope :O u can treat it more as a “get to know me”, or keep it for the next zleepover!!

LOL fsgjkasdhgkj okok so before i start: i’m rly rly independent and business-oriented. everything i do has to have profit in one way or another and should have purpose. i don’t care for what other people say/do and i get upset if i see other people let their lives be run by others and are upset but won’t help themselves. if they’re ok with it then wuteva ofc that’s their business.

but still, i don’t like the ugly mutable trait: wishy-washy, no backbone, dependency syndrome. pisces and geminis show it a lot more often than sag and virgo.

[ dis v long so tldr: i don’t like dependency and flakiness and i don’t dislike all gemini/pisces, just certain placements and the mentioned traits g/p tend to do ]

with sag and virgo, sag has the liveliness of their fire element to want things enough to start them. virgo has the earthiness of responsibility and reliability to be independent as well. 

but put a pisces or gemini (unless they have cardinal and fixed in their chart) and they are floundering. without someone else there, pisces have no one to soak up and sugarcoat all the time. there’s no one talking abt their problems and no one watering them. and they’ll seek someone to do that for them but they’re too static — they won’t do it for themselves and then believe they’re self-righteous bc of it. a lot of pisces wear the whole “proud martyr” thing on their sleeve and are ok with their position in life so that’s on them. but when it negatively impacts them, they get sensitive abt critique or other ppl looking out for them so it’s ??? pls respect urself enough to realize ur being mistreated (either by another person or urself) n let someone help u??????

with gemini, being alone means having no real identity. being an air sign, social life is v important and they can bounce from one group to another. being mutable means they depend on others to start a project, do the project, and they’ll jump in after to give an opinion. meaning they’re highly dependent on others, to the extent of seeking social validation. as an air sign, freedom is important, but the mutable makes it difficult for any desires to be independent to become real. so it’s hollow planning, empty promises, etc. and as a result, they have that flightiness of air and then the wishy-washy mutable = two-faced and unreliable. it irritates me bc like,,, don’t say smth u don’t mean and do what u say u will or else ur word means nothing — it comes off as a lie. or don’t ask ppl for help on ur situation and then do nothing.

pisces can at least be reliable to an extent but they’re yes sayers with the background of “if that feels good then go for it.” while gemini will be yes sayers bc if they don’t then they risk “losing their friends.” as of which, both are bad bc that doesn’t hold their friends accountable nor themselves.

so again, as someone incredibly independent, dislike truthfulness/empty promises, and always doing things with purpose, i don’t like certain pisces and gemini placements ㅠㅠ a person can be pisces sun but have a bunch of cardinal in their chart or earth and be ok in my eyes bc they’re gonna get shit done and be supportive. or a pisces mercury in retrograde is a literal genius with a way with words (yoongi ur a god tysm). or a gemini stellium (depending on the planets and houses) can thrive and create such a respectable career for themselves and feed off their own energy (Hoshi i’m looking at u sir). but smth like,,, gem sun moon mercury and cancer asc just screams tug of war between wanting to fit in and wanting to lead but without the means to do so. 

i don’t make a lot of friends that i don’t do business with, so i have trouble appreciating the presence of pisces/gemini in a business standpoint. i also get overwhelmed by unchanneled gemini energy and pisces energy doesn’t appeal to me bc i’m rarely emotionally dependent, let alone emotional skgdjagk so i have little reason to go to someone that would be good to vent to and not expect concrete plans. i love plans and action and i just,,, don’t vent to vent. i make the plans myself and get over whatever is bothering me fjgkhsfdjljf

so UH.. yeah LMFAOFBFDBGDN if ur reading this n ur a gemini/pisces, i don’t hate u or wish u ill will!! i deadass talk and make friends/acquaintences with lots of gemini/pisces, ironically enough. i just,,, will never be in ur shoes and will never want to be sfjghfjg and im routing for u guys from afar LMAOOOO

[dregstrash]

Fever Dreams and Shadow Games

A/N: Ahh!!! Chapter 5 of this amazing collab with @wafflesandkruge​. We’re getting close to the end and both me and wafflesandkruge want to write the best chapters we can, but life is getting in the way so we’re going to be posting every two weeks from now. Thank you for sticking with this story and for showing it all the love and support!!!

AO3

Tagging: @aditiiparasharr​  @strummoner​  @itsbrilliantjustlikeyou​ @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius​ @shadowbusiness @privateerrezni​ @roonill--wazlib​ @the-jennster​ @the-regal-warrior​ @kazual-crow​ @ipizzippy​ @inkpot-dreamer​ @bookwormsincebirth​ @hollyblue2171​ @ysitsohardtofindaname​ @fluffy-hedwig​ 

Previous Chapters: 1 ||  2 ||  3 ||  4 ||

CHAPTER 5: Dinners with Jesters

The crowd was collectively holding its breath. Even Nikolai felt his grip on the seat tighten as Kaz moved towards the grand finale of his act. The heavy material that lay flat on the surface couldn’t have been hiding a trap door. Nikolai knew the layout of the grounds where the Cirque de Lie was set up. There’s nothing but hard packed dirt, and yet with a flourish and a spark, Kaz twisted the heavy material and out appeared three large boxes decorated in the circus’ colors. With dramatic flair that could rival a film star’s, he kicked open the boxes to reveal that they were weighed down with heavy lead pipes, a fact that made his feat all the more impressive.

The people roared and Nikolai joined them. He would have to ask Brekker how he did that. That is, if he chose to tell him the truth.

“You’re acting like a child,” Zoya said as she got up from her seat and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress.

“You mean I’m properly appreciating magic,” he corrected, brushing off popcorn kernels from his suit.

“You mean tricks?” she countered.

Nikolai opened his mouth to counter her point when Wylan reappeared at the entrance.

“If the gentlemen and the lady would follow me,” he asked formally. “Mr. Rollins, will Alby be joining us?”

“I suppose not,” Rollins sniffed, “He seems to have disappeared.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up, sir,” Wylan responded stiffly, his brassy accent stark against Rollins’s polished one.

Nikolai and Zoya were the last ones to exit the closed off section. Vasily and Rollins followed Wylan closely, but Kirgin fell back to walk beside them.

“Truly spectacular show tonight, don’t you think?” he asked, clapping Nikolai’s back good-naturedly. If he was any other man, the behavior would have been suspicious. But Kirgin had always been a simple man with a penchant for debauchery and any sort of title that would make him seem a little more honorable. Up until this election, he was a dear friend of Nikolai’s.

“It was indeed,” Nikolai responded absentmindedly. He watched as Vasily bent down to whisper something in Rollins’s ear.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that particular acrobatic routine done before and I was just at last night’s show!” Kirigin continued, not seeming to notice Nikolai’s inattention.

“You go to the circus often, Kirgin?” Nikolai asked, surprised.

At this the other man gained a bit of a flush and side-eyed Zoya before leaning in towards Nikolai conspiratorially. “I find the circus’ company a bit more….flavorful than regular women….”

Nikolai forced a smile. “No need to say anymore.”

“And when your brother invited me for another night I could hardly resist,” he said at a normal level.

“Why did he invite you along?” Zoya asked, wedging her way into the conversation.

Kirgin’s face brightened even more. “I haven’t the faintest, Miss Zoya. Something about smoothing over relationships and good shows of faith.”

While he was busy staring at Zoya, her eyes caught Nikolai’s and they held each other’s gaze in an unspoken question.

If Vasily brought Kirgin along to show the people that there was no bad blood between them then that couldn’t have been a coincidence. Either Vasily was overconfident and bringing Kirgin was merely part of him flaunting the fact victory was almost his. Or his brother knew something he didn’t.

“Welcome, welcome!” A woman’s cheery voice greeted them at the entrance of a large circus tent and Nikolai forced his mind into the present.

Nina Zenik had changed out of her performance clothes and in its place she wore a low-cut red dress that clung to her in all the right places. The glitter that made her sparkle under the firelight during her act was still lightly dusted onto her face and shoulders, casting her skin in a beautiful glow. She made eye contact with each of the guests, but let her startling green eyes linger obviously on Rollins.

“We hope the gentlemen and lady enjoyed tonight’s show,” Nina purred as she and Wylan helped get them seated around the large wooden table ladened with different foods and drink, “And we hope that tonight’s supper can measure equally.”

Nikolai was seated to the left of the head of the table with Zoya to his right and an empty seat directly in front of him. Next to Zoya was Nina who was giving her utmost attention to Rollins. Vasily was across from him sitting directly next to Matthias—who looked like he was ready to snap his plate in half with every giggle out of Nina’s mouth. Kirgin was placed next to Jesper closer to the end of the table and, from what Nikolai could see, the pair were already chatting away.

As the company sat, waiting for their illustrious host to make an appearance, Nikolai couldn’t help but marvel at the strategy of their placements. With Rollins and Vasily far enough from the head of the table and properly engaged with the rest of the circus cast, whatever conversation Nikolai and Zoya night have would be protected.

“Hope you enjoy the food,” a dark voice said suddenly. Kaz emerged from another entrance of the tent. He wasn’t wearing his dark red coat when he came and sat by Nikolai. He was dressed more in the fashion of respectable gentlemen with a dark coat and a simple vest. His gloves were still on.

“It’s a bit rude to keep your guests waiting, is it not Mr. Brekker?” Vasily asked, looking down his nose as Kaz leaned back in his seat.

“Unlike pretending to run your father’s business, running a circus is quite complicated, Mr. Lantsov. It must take up a bit more of one’s time when the show ends.”

Twin spots of red appeared on Vasily’s cheeks, but before he could spit out whatever retort was on his tongue, Kaz had already moved his attention to Rollins. And Nikolai was sure that he didn’t make up the darkness that flickered over the depths of Kaz’s eyes. While he looked at Vasily like he was a child to be pushed away, he looked at Rollins like a cat playing with a mouse.

“I hope you find the food to your satisfaction, Mr. Rollins,” he said. To his credit, his voice didn’t betray an ounce of the malevolence his eyes held.

The man tore his attention away from Nina to give Kaz a patronizing smile.

“I’m sure it’s of a fine enough quality for common people.”

Nikolai felt Zoya stiffen beside him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked calmly, which was never a good sign. Nikolai had had to apologize to enough people who’d suffered Zoya’s wrath to know.

“Let’s not pretend that the circus business is so ludicrous that it would have the finest of foods.” Rollins smiled as if that made it better.

“Not everyone has a taste for richer foods,” Nikolai said. He painfully remembered the days after he got home for the war. His parents had thrown him a luxurious party. All of his schoolmates were there, drinking to his survival and to their victory. And as far as the eye could see were cakes and meats drenched in rich sauces and dips.

He could clearly remember himself painfully smiling through the crowd while pretending that every loud noise or every bang of a chair didn’t make him tense-- always waiting for the next gunshot or attack. Then someone had pressed a plate of food into his hands and he’d had no choice other than to take at least a nibble to be polite. Years of eating hard bread and watered down soup had made his tongue a hard and unrelenting thing that only ate to live. His mouth was not prepared for the assault of the spices or the density of the food.

It was a miracle that he had excused himself gracefully enough to throw up in the bathroom where a soft knock had interrupted his retching.

“It’ll get better,” Zoya had said quietly, slipping into the bathroom. Nikolai had been too sick to even tease her about what other people might say if they had seen her. She had placed a wet towel against the back of his neck, cooling the burning there. “The first time my aunt had tea, I could barely keep my eyes from watering when I ate the cake she ordered.”

“I hate them,” Nikolai had grumbled, his head pressed against the edge of the sink. “I hate that they eat and drink as if it were easy. As if there is always going to be food. Dominik--”

“Wouldn’t want you sulking,” Zoya had said crouching down to where he was. Her dress had been silver and it wrinkled as she knelt beside him. She had forced him to turn his head to look at her and he steadied his racing heart in the blue of her eyes. “Forget about them-- You don’t have to be who they want you to be anymore.”

He had barked out a laugh. “Of course, I do. Which of us has been lying to their aunt that they’re looking for a husband amongst that lot?”

Zoya rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. You were almost blown out of the sky, Nikolai.” He winced as a memory of fire and thunder flashed in his mind. “You should have died, but you didn’t.” She was holding his face now. “And that means everything after I picked you out of the sky is extra. Every heartbeat, every moment you have right now is extra life and that means you can do whatever the fuck you want with it.”

Nikolai remembered those words so vehemently. He remembered the moment they fully sunk in and took root in his mind. The small seed grew into a tree of possibilities and had given Nikolai enough strength to walk back out of that bathroom with a smile on his face and a determination that belonged to a renewed man.

A renewed man, but a man who never forgot the pains of the old life.

“Forgive my brother, Mr. Rollins,” Vasily interjected. “It seems his tastes have been much affected by the war.”

“What would you know about it?” Nikolai asked struggling to keep his voice in control. “I don’t remember you fighting in the trenches.”

“A gentleman never forgets his manners.”

“And an ass never seems to stop being one,” Zoya retorted, loudly enough that Jesper had to use a coughing fit to cover his laughter.

“Anyways,” Nina drawled, breaking the tension by pulling Rollins’s attention back to her. “May I interest you, Pekka, in a fortune reading? I don’t do it for free for just anyone you know? Kaz over there makes me charge normal guests two pence each fortune.”

“I don’t know, Miss Zenik,” he purred disgustingly as his hands wandered a bit too low on her back. “I’m really not one to believe in all that hocum.”

“Oh, just give it a try.” She winked at him as she pulled out a deck of tarot cards from her sleeve. “You never know, you may like it.”

Nikolai wanted to watch as Rollins finally gave in and Matthias looked like he wanted to lay him flat, but Kaz chose that moment to lean into his ear.

“Watch your back, and Nazyalensky’s too. Things might get a little get messy on your end, Rollins and your brother are planning something.”

“What?” Nikolai couldn’t help but let out a cough of surprise.

“Local gang is involved. That’s all we have for now. I’ll send a couple of my guys to trail you tonight.”

“I’m assuming your acrobat is on the hunting grounds,” Nikolai said gesturing to the empty seat in front of him.

“Inej is….out there. But don’t worry that pretty little head, Lantsov. We’ll try to get you out alive and on top.”

“Kaz Brekker, did you just call me pretty?”

The younger man smirked at him and leaned away, leaving Nikolai to turn this piece of news over in his mind. Vasily was willing to hurt him? He could expect some of that behavior from Rollins, but his own brother? Maybe a small part of Nikolai wanted to believe that despite all their differences, there could still be a way for Vasily to be the older brother that he used to admire. Looking at his smug face from across the table, he knew that he was being naive. Vasily was a selfish prick at birth, he didn’t stop being one in his adult life.

“Oh my dear, how wrong your little spirits are.” Rollins had somehow gotten even closer to Nina’s side, and brushed the hair at the back of her neck off her shoulder. “Are you sure you heard them correctly?”

“Why yes of course I heard them correctly.” Nina smiled as she brushed her hand across his chest. “The cards very clearly say that your closest friends are the esteemed Mister Buckley, Lord Cavenaw, and Mister Kantor.”

“No, no, no.” A knuckle on her cheek, a dangerous look in his eyes. It was a disgusting display that Nikolai was surprised Kaz allowed for one of his closer circus performers. “You wound me, my dear. I’ll have you know that I run with a finer circle of gentlemen, not the riffraff you described. Why, I just dined last night with Lord Chamberly, Lord Terrence, and Lord Christansen. Fine men that keep this city running.”

And keep you in office, Nikolai thought as he took a sip of his wine. Rollins had half the city’s politicians in his pocket. Keeping the rich where they were and leaving the poor to suffer and suffer. But his reign of terror was ending. With Kaz’s plan he could change everything. He just had to survive long enough to get elected.

--------------------------------------

Nina needed a hot, rose petal bath. She needed one this instant with a plate of chocolate dipped strawberries and a glass of champagne. It’s what she deserved after a long night of flirting with that awful man and his cheap cologne. But what she had instead was a half-empty bottle of vodka the kitchen staff saved for her.

She understood why bad men did terrible things, but why did they also have terrible taste in scents? Rollins’s disgusting musk clung to her clothes and despite her attempts to breathe through her mouth, nothing was helping.

Matthias was silent the whole way as he walked her back to her tent, and she almost wanted to tease him about having a lot of restraint tonight, but that also would make her remember the hot sweat of Rollins’s palm on her cheek. She swiped a sleeve across her cheekbone, trying to get rid of the phantom touch, but all that accomplished was wafting his scent right into her nose. She grimaced.

“Are you going to be alright?” Matthias stopped her at the entrance and placed both hands at the sides of her face.

“Of course, I am,” Nina scoffed, leaning into one of his palms. “And you shouldn’t worry so much. You sound like a fussing mother.”

“I know you hate those jobs,” he said instead bringing her closer, shifting his arms to wrap around her waist.

“You hate those jobs, Matthias. I just hate awful pigs who don’t know how to properly dress themselves.”

“Your insults are weak tonight.” He placed a kiss between her eyebrows.

“I can get nastier if you want me too, my love,” she said sleepily.

“You should rest. I will see you tomorrow.” He kissed her sweetly and let her go, and Nina couldn’t have loved him more. It had been a long road to get the sweet, soft-hearted boy hiding behind the large group of muscles to come out, and the wait had been worth it. Matthias knew when to give Nina space and when to love her gently. He knew what her favorite snacks were when she was upset or when she was happy. He was everything she deserved.

Nina watched Matthias turn out of view before starting to walk inside her tent, but not before she heard the sound of sniffles coming from inside.

“Inej?” Nina cried incredulously. Her eyes adjusted to the dim lamplight, and still she had to blink a couple of times before she could comprehend the sight sitting on her bed. Inej hadn’t changed from her dark leather and cotton and was hugging her knees to her chest as tears slid down her cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

“Arjun left.” Inej said it so quietly that Nina was glad she had moved to sit on the bed beside her. “His cover is blown. My whole unit is gone. Everything fell apart.”

Nina knew that Inej had something to do with the Indian liberation. She never spoke much about it or gave her details, but Nina was Inej’s closest friend and she knew how much that work was worth to her. But it was more than that, Nina realized, because Inej was crying and with a little more silence Nina knew why.

“You didn’t go with him,” Nina said. Inej didn’t say anything. “I thought you’d always planned on going home.”

Inej didn’t confirm or deny Nina’s statement, but her tears came faster.  Nina didn’t want to push. So instead she waited, which was never really one of her strong suits.

“I- I almost did,” she said shakily, “I went as far as the pub. Then I couldn’t. I looked back and I saw the tops of the circus tents and I thought of you and Wylan and Jesper and Matthias and--”

She cut off abruptly, but Nina understood.

“Kaz?” She wasn’t trying to finish her sentence. Nina had asked an all encompassing question that went beyond the list of people that had become part of this mismatched family that had somehow banded together.

Inej nodded.

Nina sighed.

“I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you what a bad idea having feelings for Kaz Brekker are considering you’re one of the smartest people I know. But are you sure about this?”

“I- I don’t know Nina. It’s not just about Kaz.” Her voice  hitched on his name, but she continued talking. “There’s so many of my people still trapped here. And I’m just supposed to give up because of one man? I’m just supposed to stop caring because someone decided that it wasn’t safe anymore?”

The tears stopped and with every word Inej’s voice got stronger.

“This is the last job, Nina,” she declared, finally taking a deep breath. “After this scheme with Lantsov, I’m-- I’m going to quit the circus.”

“What are you going to do?” Nina asked, already unscrewing the top of the vodka bottle.

“I want to do more for my people. I want them to stop living like second rate peasants just because of the color of their skin. I can do more. I know I can.”

“Oh you will,” Nina said, smiling and pouring her a drink in one of the glasses on her bedside table. “Because you’re Inej Ghafa the greatest acrobat and wraith to ever live. You can do anything you want.”

Inej finally smiled and took the glass.

“And Kaz?” Nina tried after taking a drink. The vodka left a pleasant burn in the back of her throat.

Inej’s smile dropped slightly. “I don’t want to talk about that-- at least for now-- Can we just drink and pretend we can do anything?”

Nina laughed and toasted Inej’s glass. “My dear, we don’t have to pretend at all.”