#sing as we go
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"It'll all end in trouble, my lord," said Ridcully. He'd found it a good general comment in practically any debate. Besides, it was so often true.
Lord Vetinari sighed. "In my experience, practically everything does," he said. "That is the nature of things. All we can do is sing as we go."
Terry Pratchett, The Truth
#havelock vetinari#hughnon ridcully#the truth#discworld#terry pratchett#change#progress#trouble#experience#predictions#expectations#the future#everything does#the nature of things#sing as we go
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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The only singer ever!
#bystay#createskz#stray kids#linosource#*m.gif#*minho#analook#usersemily#melontrack#mimotag#kpopccc#gifs#I can't wait for this full episode to be out#i am so biased (it's the only one i'll watch from beginning to end without skipping anything lol)#can we just talk about how he got eliminated because fckass jyp thought he was lacking (he kind of was (i love you minho))#and now he's going on a 100% singing show as the dance leader of his group#i'm going to cry if I think too hard about it#i'm just so proud of him and god dammit there's a tear or two in my eye
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I got a really tough question.
What’s your favorite Twst event of ALL TIME?
I like Harveston
this truly is the hardest question. :( but after much consideration, I think Endless Halloween Night wins out for me, because it's nonstop Characters Being Silly the whole way through. the whole thing is just lots of these little dorks having the most ridiculous interactions, which is always my favorite! and of course the big twist is SO delightfully stupid and doubles down SO hard that it becomes AMAZING and I 100% unironically adore it. AND it's Halloween! everyone is in their cute little costumes and having a spooky adventure! it's great!
however, I am ALSO a big fan of the Harveston event! how can I not be! everyone is wearing comfy winter outfits and getting along really weirdly well with Epel's grandma and he's getting a little worried about that! my terrible loud son sews a plush squirrel and then gives it a silly little nickname and refuses to leave it behind when it breaks! the ending shot with the sled! I LOVE IT.
obviously we need the best of both worlds now
#art#twisted wonderland#malleus in the background: RYUU } >:(#(this is an au where sebek wears his own halloween costume and isn't obsessively trying to match with malleus)#(unless malleus is also wearing a patchwork squirrel costume. hold on wait i should've drawn that instead)#my favorite is when people draw sebek's room and have risugurumi just hanging out on his desk or something#SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR HIM#well she gave her leg or something anyway#it's been a while i forget#anyway endless halloween night also has my favorite cutscene#which is the five second long cutscene that is literally just floyd going OOH WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO and then a battle starts#thank you twst#i believe this is also when trey finds out that sebek's dad is a dentist and immediately makes it weird#while rook is just. dancing around and singing opera in the background.#'did...did he hit his head when we fell through the mirror?' 'no he's just like that'#i have to stop or i'm going to end up recounting the entire event#(sorry this took so long!) (i have been back in Deadline Hell)#(i didn't mean to actually answer this on halloween but it kind of worked out! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN)
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not if it's you
#john watson#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#sherlock holmes#johnlock#jonk watson#holmes x watson#jonklonk#“haha just gonna make a quick doodle based on this cute line”#three hours later:#the birds are singing the sun is rising i need to go to sleep but we stay ballin
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"If you go down then we go down together
If you hold on I might just stay forever"
.
Been thinking about drawing this for months, since I stumbled upon @silverxstardust 's We go down together video. It's still one of the best Sebastian x MC video I've watched and I still listen to this song almost everyday.
#again I wish we could spend more time with him after the Felcoft incident#Violette would definitely choose to stay by his side#but would he?#well we will find out soon 🫣#this supposed to be a quick simple sketch but ended up a full colored illustration hahaha....#also now everytime we go down the escalator my husband starts to sing this song 🤣🤣#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#violette laurant#Spotify
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S2 arcane spoilers!!
Anyone else notice how dim viktors eyes look in the new season like
And it's like this for nearly every other shot
Compared to his eyes in s1
And he's rlly out of character too
And sure that could be the trauma of EVERYTHING that's happened
But I feel like it's more than that
The hexcore is controlling him obviously so maybe we'll see him try to fight against it??
I really hope he does bc I don't think the whole magic arcane Jesus thing is really working for me tbh
OR if he doesn't manage to get free of the hexcore maybe he decides to lean into it by baking himself even more robotic buy powered by hextech or whatever the new equivalent would be
I've also been thinking maybe he'll start upsetting the chem barrens?? But it seems kinda unlikely
#he needs more screen time also#theres like 5 things all happening at once and viktor has something to do with at least 2 if them#abd hes only in like 1 episode with only like 15mins of screen time#and whats going on with the singed stuff???#like ik its warwick but how tf are they going to fit all of this in to 9 episodes with the first 3 basicly being set up??????#arcane#arcane lol#arcane league of legends#viktor arcane#arcane season 2#arcane viktor#arcane theory#arcane thoughts#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#jesus viktor#apparently#honestly i dont mind the sky and viktor stuff#like i feel like we all knew jayvik wasnt going to be cannon WITH caitvi#unfortunately series's are just Like That#especially netflix#jayvik#still really want to see the glorious evolution dont want it to be bame droped tho#jayce arcane#the pony gave me faith tbh#hope they dont depict viktor as a perfect one to one with jesus cus that makes anyone who opposes him 'evil'#and arcane was always really good at making rlly complex characters#we didnt have to think about good and evil yk#hope viktor gets more content bc of thus though
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#q#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#what in disney princess realness is going on here.#he sings and animals hop on his shoulder and butterflies dance around him#fantaken#this is how he is when he’s in my dreams and we are raising our jinirets on our farm
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whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
a/n: not gonna even acknowledge the time break between chappies... all i'm gonna say happy cassian chappie ! <3! i hope u all enjoy it mwah thank u for reading
word count: 3.8k
synopsis: Adjusting to life in Velaris means learning to train with new, friendly faces. A tentative friendship forms. Azriel keeps his distance.
CHAPTER NINE :: FRIENDS (IN OTHER PLACES)
Whoosh.
Training staff gripped tightly in your calloused hands, you swing with a muscle memory built over decades, the stick whistling as it cuts through the air with deadly precision. Strike. Twist. Bend. Strike, twice as hard.
You're going through the motions. A simple warm-up, running a drill that you've done enough times you could probably do it in your sleep. The movements are familiar, easy. Routine.
If you close your eyes, you could almost imagine you're still in Exordor.
Except... there's no familiar wind current to perform its melody in the early morning, dancing through the mountainside trees. No frozen chill to the air around you. No crunch of snow beneath your feet to throw your balance. No bound chest to chafe your skin.
No looking over your shoulder in pure panic at every unexpected noise.
Well, not quite that last one. It's a habit you're dedicated to breaking for the sake of your shot nerves — but evidently failing, considering how you straighten up and whip around when the door leading out to the training ring shudders open.
You hold your breath on instinct and clutch the training staff tighter.
Stepping out into the early morning air, the dawn still unbroken, is another Illyrian warrior.
Mother, how many of them were there around here?
You hadn't got to meet anyone else after that encounter on the balcony, almost exactly one week ago. Hadn't exactly wanted to either.
You hadn't even wanted to see Azriel again so soon after the churning, sickening twist of emotions you had barely managed to stumble through after your severe reawakening.
He hadn't come to see you.
You hadn't asked.
Besides Madja, Rhysand was the only new face you had come to know. He had taken to coming by your room a couple times over the week, checking on the progress of your healing, particularly sympathetic on the state of your wings. Revealed his own with a polite flourish.
He was... different than you were expecting. Perhaps you were learning that rumours are not everything — certainly it's clear that there is more to Rhysand than what first appears.
As Highlord, he had to discuss your potential living situations once you were healed enough to leave the infirmary.
I meant what I said. He had said, violet eyes kind as he hovered at the end of your bed. You're no prisoner here. You'll be free to go wherever you wish, even back to Exordor if that's what you decide.
And if I don't? You had whispered, your gaze fixed on the fine sheets of the bed. If I decide that... I have no home there anymore?
Then you'll have a home here. For as long as you would like.
And though it overrode every single instinct you had learned to trust, everything that had kept you alive this long, you chose to take his word for it.
Rhys said no harm would befall you in Velaris and you would be welcome here for as long as wanted.
But... that didn't mean you were exactly looking to make new friends.
Staring the newcomer that enters the balcony with much less grace than that of usual Illyrians, you watch him closely, not quite daring to take a breath.
At a first glance, you had thought it might be Azriel—heart leaping up your throat—but that was quickly washed away. Something in you knew from the hair standing up on the nape of your neck, before you even saw him properly, that this male was utterly unfamiliar to you.
He's taller, you realise. His hair is a longer and he doesn't quite move with the grace of the Shadowsinger — though, perhaps you are just so unused to seeing a male so relaxed. So caught off guard, in fact, that when he turns he gives a little yelp in surprise.
"Fuck!" He says, one of his large hands jumping out and clenching into a fist —his whole body switching to a fighting stance, you realise— before he relaxes again. His fist uncurls into a less threatening open palm.
"I- sorry, just didn't realise anyone else was out here." His fighting stance melts away, open palm still extended. He gives what you think might be a friendly smile.
You don't respond, only gripping the training staff a little tighter. Every hackle is raised, the hair on the back of your neck prickling, and your entire body winding itself up to prepare to fight, if it comes down to it.
The male seems to realise this as his next move is to raise both hands, palms out, the universal signal for surrender. They're large, tanned, and void of the scars you've come to know on Azriel.
However, where there are usually shimmering cobalt blue siphons, this newcomer has dazzling ruby red ones instead. You count each of his. Seven.
Your throat tightens — like all of Illyria, you've heard of this warrior too. The Lord of Bloodshed.
He doesn't exactly look so fearsome at the moment, his expression easy-going, even friendly, from behind his raised hands.
He seems to be waiting for you to make a move or to speak but after a moment, he realises neither are going to happen.
"Rhys said there might be another Illyrian around." He says, taking a tentative step forward, in the direction of the training ring, letting his hands drop to his side. You notice how he tucks his wings in a little more, like he might be trying to be respectable. Polite.
He's watching you closely. "Didn't mention you were a female, though."
Instinct makes you want to sneer in response — the only time Illyrian males bother bring up the differences in sex is to make some nasty comment about the biological weakness of females.
Not born to be warriors. They spit. Fragility is bred into them from the moment they're conceived. Breakable. Less than. A female in the training ring has as much place does as a male does in the kitchen.
But this male... says female in a way you've never quite heard before. As though he's somewhere closer to awe.
"My name is Cassian," The male introduces himself, his tentative steps becoming more of a stroll as he wanders across to the weapons stand. He eyes them halfheartedly, his focus still on you.
He turns lightly, tucking in one of his wings to peer back at you. "And yours is...?"
You still haven't moved, only tracking his movements with a slight shift of your eyes. Part of you wonders if he already knows your name and he's simply being polite.
Cassian nods as though you've spoken, despite the fact you haven't made a sound.
"Okay, not a big talker, I get it." He dips his head in a little nod, giving you an easy smile, then a quick wink. "Promise I don't bite."
No reaction. You’re not entirely sure if that’s a joke or not.
Either way, Cassian turns and focuses on his selection, pulling one of the training staffs off the weapons rack into his strong, sure grip.
Despite Rhysand's promise, your heart begins to rabbit wildly.
You wonder if this is some sickening game of cat and mouse—if he's perhaps going to tire you out before he selects his true weapon. If he wants you to know he can best you, even without a blade at his disposal.
You're a decent fighter—hell, a great one even—but you know better than to expect to come out on top against the Lord of Bloodshed.
You finally force yourself to move; shifting your feet to face him, you sink into a fighting stance, staff poised to face him, prepared to bare your teeth.
Cassian blinks. It takes another moment for him to realise that none of his friendliness is working to thaw your iciness. He quickly sets the training staff back down with a clatter, raising his hands once more.
"Woah," He says, giving a small shake of his head. "Not looking to fight. Unless you and I are in that ring—" He gestures to the training ring behind him. "I will never try to fight you. And... I hope you can say the same for me."
You don't even realise you've released your breath until you deflate a little, relief coming in small, incremental waves.
He doesn't want to fight. There's no proving yourself, at least not today.
Maybe some day in the near future, he'll demand you get in the ring to earn your space here—because that was the first thing you ever learned as an Illyrian warrior. But not today.
Reluctant and relieved all at once, you lower your training staff.
Your hesitance or silence doesn't seem to hinder Cassian. In fact, he smiles at the motion.
He's quite handsome, you note. In that rugged way, not quite so classically handsome as Azriel. The unexpected thought makes you flush. You shake it away with a shiver.
"You have your reasons for your unease I bet," Cassian continues, his hands drifting back to his sides. His wings have begun to spread out a little more, as if relaxing.
"And if you want me to piss off, I certainly will. My goal is not to make you uncomfortable in the slightest. But... well, I do have just one question."
He pauses, as if waiting for something. Permission, you realise faintly, which surprises you enough that you give a rather jerky nod, permitting him to ask his question.
A brilliant smile spreads across Cassian's face. "Did you really stab Azriel with a fork?"
The question takes you by utter surprise, fresh bewilderment rippling across your features. You shift back almost awkwardly, stepping out of your fighting stance. The memory from months ago rises up inside, the first meeting in your lonely shelter.
How did he know that? He could he know that?
"I—" You trip over the words, not entirely sure how to answer the question. You can't quite tell why he's asking—is he assessing you as a threat? Your voice is tentative and guarded as you murmur out, "...yes?"
You don't think it would've mattered how you answered truly, as the moment you confirm it, Cassian roars in laughter, his head thrown back and his hand clutching his belly. He laughs loudly for a moment, shaking his head with a fond smile.
"Holy shit, I thought Rhys was kidding! Cauldron, what I would've given to see that." His hazel eyes glitter brightly, as though he's excited. "Was he surprised? I bet he was. Where did you stab him?"
His easy tone, like he's talking to an old friend, takes you back. You find yourself responding with an unexpected ease. Looking back on it now, it is a little funny.
"He was," You nod, nearly smiling at Cassian's enthusiasm. Your lips twitch and you gesture to your neck, somewhat awkwardly, miming the motion. "In the neck."
Cassian laughs again. "Oh, and I bet he'd deny the whole thing if it ever came up."
You don't know quite what to say to that—Azriel hadn't ever brought it up and you certainly weren't going to remind him of it. You tilt your head to the side a bit, an unknown feeling making itself known in the pit of your stomach. An anxiety of an entirely different kind.
The male before you is not an enemy. He's not an ally either... and you can't understand what he gains from talking to you.
You can't even fathom the idea that he might just want to be your friend.
So, you turn. Tighten your grip and resume the exercise that had been interrupted. Muscles groan as you work through their achiness, slowly becoming warmer as the hot blood pumps around your body.
Despite what Madja had said a week ago on that balcony, today was actually the first morning you were allowed to train.
For the last seven days, the exercise you were restricted to was mere stretches; only enough to ensure each of your wings could extend fully and that your limbs could move without serious cause for concern.
It had driven you stir crazy.
The only time you ever skipped so many days without training was during your cycle—something you had mercifully missed the end of this time around, hidden away in your unconsciousness.
So, at the first opportunity, when you rose from your bed this morning and Madja hadn't given you that pointed stare and instead gave you directions, you had found the training area. Began with old routines, if only for the fact you don't know who you are when you're not training.
Inhaling now, the wood of the training staff creaks beneath your iron grip. You're trying desperately to use it as a tether, to some semblance of normal for yourself. It's difficult when there's so many changes lurking.
The solid stone makes you sturdier than before. There's no snow beneath your feet to sink your boots into, to find your balance on. But your injuries aren't entirely healed either.
The pain is not fresh but it's still hindering enough to be a nuisance. Your left ear still twinges from time to time—sometimes it seems to hum so loudly you can't hear clearly, others it dulls altogether. Neither are particularly pleasant to experience.
Pain, however, you have plenty of experience in. Gritting your teeth and pushing through it is practically standard for the Illyrian way; especially when you know your body. You know how much it can take. You know it's been through worse.
But the pesky problem with your ear keeps you off balance, just enough that it shows in your motions.
You keep stumbling around like a goddamn fledgling with every new attempt, footing clumsy, which makes you burn in humiliation because that's what you learn first. It's impossible not to feel unendingly frustrated as decades of training all get shifted slightly to the left.
It doesn't help either that there's still those holes in the edges of your wings.
Fae healing is incredibly advanced but even so, there is only so much magic can do.
Lacerations can be healed, stabs and slices stitched up with ease — but a hole, torn forcibly in and through the delicate flesh of Illyrian wings? You know that you should be thanking the Mother that they even still work in their complete capacity.
The skin around where the stakes had been forced is puckered and stiff, whitened by the scar tissue and trauma. It had been sickening the first time you had curled them close around you and realised with a faint horror that you could technically see through them — a irregular circular gash preserved in either wing of how you'd been pinned down.
The air passes through them as you shift, causing an uneasy shiver. They don't catch on the wind quite the same as they did before.
You haven't taken to the skies yet. You're torn between your eagerness to fly again, to prove to yourself that they can still, and the sinking fear that that's something new you'll have to relearn as well.
So, instead, you run through the training drill for the nth time, trying to get back in sync with your own body. Trying to push past where it seems to falter and trying and failing to not care that your wavering movements now have an audience.
Watching him subtly out the corner of your eye, Cassian appears to be running drills of his own, a gentle warmup. He stretches his toned arms above his head, the motions limber and easy. Briefly, your mind wanders to Azriel's own morning training —never mind that you did have experience training with him over many mornings — and the most peculiar fluster flows through you.
You bite your cheek and rein in your drifting thoughts, gripping the staff tighter.
Strike. Twist. Bend. Strike, twice as hard. Your left eardrum squeals, jumping abruptly in volume at the motions, and though you manage to contain yourself to a wince, your twist goes off kilter.
Your wings stretch out to counterbalance but they don't catch the wind as well as you're used to. Your feet stumble to realign and all you can think is how fucking easy it would be decimate you in a fight in that second.
Something awful starts to grow in your throat and it takes a full moment to realise its the urge to cry, clawing up your throat.
You inhale shakily, eyes fixed on the stone beneath you, and will them away. You weren't a crier — but then again, never had you ever felt quite so utterly hopeless as you were right now.
You've always had this—always had the fight from within your bones, always had your body, always relied on your dexterity to push you forward.
Shadow covers the stone before you. Your head shoots ups, that same panic you can't shake jolting in your chest.
"Hi." Cassian says, giving a little two-fingered salute. He smiles kindly. "Cassian. We met maybe, uh, 5 minutes ago? Remember that?"
You blink at him, not even noticing how the distraction sends away the urge to cry. Swallowing thickly, you give a tentative nod.
"Fantastic. Great memory." His smile melts into a grin and though it sounds like he's teasing, you don't exactly feel like it you who's being made fun of. "I— I have no doubt you're an excellent fighter, especially considering you managed to land a hit on a warrior such as Azriel."
Cassian seems to hear his words only after he's said them and gives a minuscule frown. "Wait, don't tell him I said that. He'll never let me live it down."
When you don't react in amusement as he was aiming for, Cassian changes his tone again, more serious this time.
"Look, I might not be exactly sure what happened that meant you ended up here. I know it might not seem like a welcome change of pace but— well- and what I mean to say is— I can see your missteps."
The admittance of your failings makes humiliation swell up within you. You avert your eyes. Cassian, aware of his awful blunder, barrels on.
"But I can see you're getting your feet again." He adds, softer than before. "After whatever happened to you and your wings, I can tell you're already doing better than most Illyrians would. I also know that everything is easier with a little support."
Your gaze tugs back to Cassian's face as his sentence ends, the offer within it leaving you momentarily dazed. He wants... to help you?
You open your mouth to say just that—but instead, say, "They... didn't tell you?"
Something foreign yanks on your heartstrings. You can't say you had expected privacy, not when Rhysand was already generously providing you with both medical aid and a place to lay low and recover. You were in no position to ask for more.
Suddenly, you become hyper aware of your wings and their gaping, obvious scars to pair with the thin white lines of the lashes adorned across them. You rein them back self-consciously, keeping them tucked close against your back. There's relief in that simple motion alone.
"It is not their story to tell." Cassian nods, grave and serious. "And, just as important, sharing it is not a requirement to be allow yourself a little support."
You don't have to tell him, if you don't want to.
Before you, an Illyrian male, like so many that you've detested all your miserable life, and he doesn't know a thing about you. He doesn't get to know what happened unless you decide to tell him.
You taste his words, mulling them over in your mind as you try to figure out what he means. In the heart of it, you can't understand what he truly stands to gain from this offer of support.
"What... kind of support?" You question warily.
Unthinkingly, your grip tightens on the training staff once more—a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of baring your vulnerabilities. It had been well-trained out of you. Connections of any kind risked exposure... and well, the one time in your life you had given it a go, it had only been proven true.
"Whatever you wish." Cassian grins, as if pleased you had asked that exact question. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear and rattles off his list easily, with a slight shrug of his armoured shoulders. "Friendship? Training? Someone to listen when you need it or to drink your sorrows with? I've had plentiful practice with all."
He sends you another wink, teasing and easy like everything else about him. It's disarming actually, just how different he is from what you had been expecting from only the rumours around Exordor. Lord of Bloodshed. He's so...casual.
After another beat of silence, Cassian clears his throat when it becomes clear you aren't exactly jumping onto any of his initial offers. The caginess you exude is palpable and something ragged in Cassian's chest tears wider at whatever his mind conjures up about what might be lurking your past.
True to his word, Rhys hadn't delved into your story or how you came to end up here at the House of Wind.
All Cassian knew for sure is that Azriel had talked of training with a bastard some months ago and now, you were here. A female warrior from Exordor.
Cassian thinks that Azriel likely would've mentioned it if the bastard he was working with was female—but he hadn't. There's much more to your story, he can tell, and it seems to ripple from the edges of your wary, dangerous form at just a glance. Almost a full picture for him to realise, to see clearly.
But... these things were earned.
If Cassian wanted to be your friend, to know your story, he would do it the honourable and hard way.
He would become someone that you could trust in this new, unfamiliar place and he knew it was possible because what Cassian knew lay within him was reflected in you. The one clear part of the picture.
A warrior who knows themselves best when they're fighting.
"Train with me. Please." Cassian tries once more, ready to relent if it was too much, too soon. "There is a lot we can teach each other, I'm sure."
That seems to catch you by surprise, your brows jumping a fraction up your face. You school the expression away quickly but not before Cassian catches it. He nods.
"What do you say?" Cassian grins again, holding out his hand, palm up. Nonthreatening as can be. "Friends? Allies? Reluctant rooftop sharers? I'll take any happily."
You eye his hand, that still cautious air in your gaze, but Cassian can see as something settles within you. Tentatively, you reach forward and put your hand in his, giving it an awkward, stilted shake.
"I'll take allies for now," You say, somewhat demurely. It's taking a mountain load of trust for you to do so, Cassian knows. He does not take that trust lightly.
Cassian grins. "Allies it is."
[NEXT PART: SHADOWS]
tags below!
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover
@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco
@iamjimintrash @maendering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee
@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13
@bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa
@fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5
@rhysandorian @laughterafter @brieftriumphnightmare @hirah-yummar @some-person-somewhere
@scooobies @sfhsgrad-blog @cherry-cin @bookloverandalsocats @megscabinetofcurios
@doodlebugsblog @landofpetrichor @acourtofdreamsandshadows @florabelll @tanyaherondale
@aomi-recs @letmejustreadthanks @problemfinder @sevikas-whore @doodlebugg16-blog
@meandmysillywriting @justingnoreme @krowiathemythologynerd @hanatsuki-hime @sunny747
@coffeebeforewater @kalulakunundrum @marina468 @moonbirde @yellow-birdy @sheblogs
@shinyghosteclipse @randombibitch @itsjustwinter @emryb @books-all-the-way13
@thatsassyhufflepuff @rem-ie
#this chappie is one big kiss to cassian#i love him and i like to think we would be besties irl#apologies for no azriel in this chappie tho D:#i promise it won't go like this as she meets all of the inner circle#cassian is a Special one like im thinking maybe these guys are gonna be Besties for the Resties so he needs a specific introduction#and also they're so alike!!! they survive best when they're fighting n brawling!!!!! they're gonna like and respect each other so damn much#azriel#azriel fic#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel shadowsinger x you#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel series#cassian#<- yeah he's there#acotar#acotar fanfiction#whom the shadows sing for#wtssf#whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#hope u like it!! tell me what u think!#sloane writes
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South Downs Happy Husbands
@idkchatie
(More pics below)
Buzzing to share these with you! While on our trip to London to see Nye (which was phenomenal and so was meeting Michael afterwards!), @0xlilith and I made a day trip to the South Downs to see where the ineffable husbands will spend their retirement.
We were blown away (figuratively and literally) by the South Downs! And then the time came to take out some amazing fanart and take photos of what Crowley and Aziraphale might be up to in the future.
Couldn't find the creator - please help, so I can credit them
@blairamok
@lizulimu on X
@numbuh424
Couldn't find the creator - please help, so I can credit them
@turnipoddity
@tio-trile
@kidovna
Bonus - @0xlilith and I, the rational adults that we are, decided to draw magician moustaches, print out the first photo and go to the National Theatre again to show it to Michael Sheen. Sadly, he didn't do stage door that night. But we met many wonderful people in the queue so it was a great evening nonetheless!
We had a blast doing this and many new headcanons came out of this trip. For example:
Crowley shouts at all the rabbits because they are eating his garden produce. Until he notices there are also little bunnies and he simply cannot shout at those. He ends up dedicating part of his garden to the rabbits. Aziraphale finds this endearing.
While on their walks on the cliffs, Crowley picks up snails.
Crowley makes up random stories about the local lore and tells them to the tourists. Aziraphale puts and end to this when the stories gradually become more and more unhinged.
Aziraphale takes up bird watching.
Crowley makes fun of it at first but then he also takes up bird watching.
Aziraphale and Crowley start competing in bird watching.
Aziraphale doesn't believe Crowley saw the birds he claims he did.
Crowley is adamant he really saw the yellow-breasted tit.
Aziraphale calls Crowley a yellow-breasted tit.
Etc etc.
Hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed making them!
And if you are in London right now, some are actually glued to the benches around the Bandstand in Battersea Park. Check out my previous post to get the details!
#the future we were promised#nothing but the very best for the group of the two of them#the nightingales shall sing again in the south downs#crowley#aziraphale#good omens#good omens season 2#aziraphale and crowley#go2#gomens#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#aziracrow#michael sheen#good omens 2#david tennant#neil gaiman#south downs#south downs cottage#seven sisters#art#good omens fandom#good omens fanart#aziraphale fanart#crowley fanart#go fanart#go2 fanart#good omens 2 fanart#ineffable fanart#fanart
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it’s just the way that the doctor still tragically loves the master despite everything.
the master has destroyed their planet and violated their people in the worst way possible and yet they’re still intrinsically entwined for eternity.
the master is who he thinks about when there’s a chance he may die and the master is who he thinks about when he survives.
missy said “my heart is maintained by the doctor” and i do think that’s mutual. the doctor’s hearts are maintained by the master, they always have been and always will be.
#the doctor thinking he is about to die sings the skye boat song and talks about the moon and the president’s wife#the link to missy and the spy master and simm with the saxon theme#the universe really said ‘you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you’#also when we finally get a master/doctor reunion it’s going to be so fucking angsty can’t wait#also this is all something i think the master needs to realise (especially a post dhawan one)#like yes you are still equals and yes you are still the most important person in the doctor’s past present and future stop#dw#doctor who#dw spoilers#the master#thoschei#the doctor
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rafe goes literally crazy trying to win deer reader back and stands outside her bedroom singing self righteous by bryson tiller at the top of his voice and she calls the police
#rafe cameron prompt#deer!reader#shoupe is like i really don’t have the energy for this#whilst rafe is clutching the stereo outside singing SHIT WAS GOING GOOD GIRL NOW ITS LOOKING BAD GIRL CAN WE TAKE IT BACK GIRLLLL
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whoever said that disco elysium is a game about many things but, most of all, a game about not killing yourself. i think about it
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And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide ( I Want To Hold Your Hand, 1963)
If I trust in you, oh please, don't run and hide. (If I Fell, 1964)
Hey, you've got to hide your love away (Hey, You've Got To Hide Your Love Away, 1965)
I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's right I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide (I've Got A Feeling, 1969)
I was feelin' insecure You might not love me anymore I was shivering inside … I was tryin' to catch your eyes Thought that you was tryin' to hide (Jealous Guy, 1971)
If you show me love, I won't refuse I know you'd never make me choose Between the love I've got And the love I'd lose Sometimes, I'd rather run and hide Than stay and face the fear inside (At The Mersy, 2005)
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So no one was gonna tell me that Taliesin Jaffe sang a whole ass punk-rock song as Ashton on the winter crest album what the fuck holy fucking shit Ohmygod
#critical role#taliesin jaffe#I AM SOOOOO#HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM SO HAPPY#we also got a little snippet of him singing as Percy I fucking win#Oh if only Caduceus got to sing a lullaby type thing#My life would be complete#GO LISTEN TO THE CRITMAS ALBUM IF YOU HAVENT HET#FUVKING BANGERS DUDE#ashton greymoore
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@bluestdai sent me this and now I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on with my day—or my week and my month, for that matter.
credits: el3ctrichearts on twitter
#noah sebastian#the day I get you#who told you to go out and be this cute#i’m growling#i am not normal#not okay#I’m calling the cops#I’m telling them about your hair and your smile and your freaking pretty eyes and the way you sing and the clothes you wear and your tattoos#you have no shame#you pretend to be an innocent nice guy but we all know you know what you’re doing#I can’t deal with you#bye#bad omens#I’m still not okay after writing so many tags
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