#since we still feelin this vibe

[itsgrimeytime]

The Nurse (Part Eleven) || Rick Grimes (TWD)

Part: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven...

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Taglist: @strnqer @1985bitch @curlycarley @imaginemyfavoritefics @t-uroboros @crazytxgradstudent @addisonnie @whos6claire @taylvvrr @quicksilversg1rl @catt-leya @1tsk1tty @pascalshearts @hopefulatrocity @xoyouronlyamorrxo @fuseburner @idkseraphine @all-for-kpop @carlgrimeskisser @emo-potato-virgil @timotheesrealgf @mcuclintasha @8crazy-freak8 @peepeepoopoobutt @crazyunsexycool @moneyoverl0v3 @alixxhere @allthetroubleiveseen @dxrkymxrchy @taylormarieee

Summary: Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You’d always wondered where he’d ended up; until in your search of shelter, you run into a familiar face.

TWS: a touch of angst (mostly fluff though), mentions of death, gun violence (just violence in general), gunshot wounds, swearing, and all things typical of TWD.

[[A/N: listen, I know there's a similar scene to Maneater but this has completely different vibes okay? (I just like face kisses, sue me) So don't judge me. Thanks for reading !!! ]]

Your head hurt, that was the first thing you felt upon waking up. A sort of throb in the darkness of your mind.

It was warm, under a sort of scratchy blanket that you felt was oddly familiar. As thin as a sheet, but it still kept you warmer than without one. You'd felt rather tired, sort of heavy, particularly in your shoulders it felt sore -you briefly wondered why.

"Y/N?"

You were hardly awake then, as you shifted ever so slightly -there was a pillow under your head, you realized. You couldn't remember the last time you'd had one. All you remembered was concrete floors-

"Hey, hey," the voice spoke, "-you're safe. You're safe, sweetheart."

You recognized him then, something in you relaxing -safe, safe. You knew that if he was there, you weren't in Woodbury anymore -you weren't locked away. You were safe-

"Rick-" you whispered -your voice dry and cracking, you wondered how long you'd been out, "-Rick?"

"Breathe, baby, I'm here-" he responded -you felt something shift near you, "-right here."

Your eyes opened then, settling to your right -where you heard him, searching. Despite the pound of your head, you wanted to see him -really see him, he was right there. You could see him.

He was there, looking slightly tired -blue eyes intently focused on you, something warm and heavy there. His hair pushed intently behind his ears almost as if he was doing it anxiously, you wanted to reach forward and fix it.

"Hi," you echoed -quietly with a smile, he was right in front of you.

Rick smiled -a sort of hazy fond one that sent a flush down to your toes, "Hi, sweetheart, you feelin' okay?"

"Sore," you answered -shifting slightly, the deep ache only spiking, "-did Hershel-"

"He stitched ya up," he spoke, careful to keep his voice low, "-you're supposed to be on rest for a while. Doctor's orders."

You smiled -voice still dry, "You gonna be my nurse, cowboy?"

He laughed -a wonderous sort of noise that made your heart squeeze in your chest, "Already am, darlin'. Haven't left y'er side since we got 'ere."

You faltered, trying to turn more toward him -ache rather distant at the moment worth looking at him better, "Have you been sleeping?"

"Yes," he responded, "-when I can, I 'ave. Don't worry 'bout me right now-"

"'Can't help it," you hummed, "-I just need to make sure you're okay. I have to know-"

"'Course you do," he echoed, moving his hand to smooth against your hair -soft and tender and fond, "-you're on bedrest and still worryin' about me. You're unbelievable, ya know that?"

You leaned into his touch, now recognizing the surroundings to be your own 'office', "I just... I care about you, Rick. You know that."

Your words echoed off as you just looked at him, heavy eyebags underneath his eyes but there was something so content there. Deep within the slope of his shoulders, he seemed to relax -you were safe. You wondered just how similar his experience apart from you had been -had he slept? Could he think straight? Could he breathe?

"I'm sorry," you spoke, sort of quietly -his hand still cradling your face there, "-for... for leaving everyone here. Leaving you, Carl, and Judith here. I- I really thought I was doing what was best, saving lives. I just... I can't imagine what it was like me just leaving so quickly-"

"Y/N-" he urged in a soft whisper that swept a heat across your face -he was so close.

"No, I..." you paused, raising your own hand -despite how weak it felt, to flutter along his jaw, "-I need to say it. It was all I could think about, the pain that I had caused."

"I won't say I wasn't affected," he hummed -leaning into your fingertips slightly, "-but I know why ya did it. There's no need to apologize, not when you're here. When you're safe-"

"Rick..."

"I thought, well I hoped really that you would be safe," he spoke -rubbing his finger along some of your cuts (from the glass, you assumed), "-when we started makin' that plan, I... I thought he might'a killed ya already. That I was too late."

"You weren't," you soothed -a sort of twisted turmoil rooted in your stomach, "-I'm here."

"I kno', darlin'," he shushed you, holding your eyes steady with his -a sort of cloud hanging over their normal blue, "-I kno'. I was just scared. And when I saw you again... I just got... got so hopeful. Even though we were in danger, I was just so happy to see you breathin."

"Rick..."

"And when he-" he started before his throat seemed to choke up slightly -tears rising behind his eyes, "-when he shot you. I just... I got the feelin' I'd lost it all again."

"Rick," you whispered, slowly moving to grab his hand from the side of his face -both hands timidly enveloping his skin, and pulled it to your chest (where your heartbeat was a steady thrum against your ribs), "-I'm right here, I'm alive."

He seemed to pause, hand tensing at the sensation, as his eyes trailed over your chest -rising and falling with each breath. Making sure you were still there.

That you were okay. You knew the feeling.

"I love you."

He said it quietly, a sort of breathy whisper through his tears and the ghost of a smile on his lips. Tone washing over you like the morning sun, you felt something in yourself shift. Maybe a little disbelief, like you wondered if you'd actually heard it. Or if he intended for you to.

Rick answered the question himself with a watery chuckle and moved his hands to cup your face -fondly, so fond, "God, I love you."

You smiled, teary in your own way but smiling, happy, "I... I love you too."

"Never thought I'd get to say 'at," he grinned, still teary but you'd taken it upon yourself to wipe away any you saw, "-I love you."

"Rick-" you laughed.

He leaned forward, kissing your forehead first, "I love you-" then your eyebrows, "-I love you-" the apples of your cheeks, "-I love you-" your cheekbones, "-I love you-" the creases of your smile, "-I love you-" the tip of your nose, "-I love you."

You only laughed louder, your heart sparkling more and more each time he said it. It sent your head spinning, "Rick-"

He leaned back, looking at you in a sort of wonder -so happy. You couldn't believe it, honestly, that he... that you could make him so happy.

One hand moved down to your chin, fingertips pressing into your skin -guiding, blue eyes set on you in a haze. Something soft, something like a daydream-

"Can I kiss you?"

You stilled, heart beating along your chest, as he stared. It felt like all he did was stare, you couldn't read him. But... you knew what you wanted.

"Yes," you echoed, breathlessly.

Rick was slow to move, tender sort brush as he tilted your chin to face him. Gentle, he roamed closer -breaths fanning across your face, slowly so as to not hurt you. You could tell he was worried. Fingers moving up from your chin and fluttering along some of the glass cuts -which seemed to be healing. Like he was giving it extra thought, extra care.

Before you could speak a word, he connected your lips to his.

It was something small, a press of the lips (he was worried-) -stubble creating a buzz against your skin, in time with the thrum of warmth.

You let him guide you, hand still placed casually on your face - affectionately brushing his thumbs against your cheekbones. Calloused fingertips so warm so safe, you want to stay here -enveloped on Rick. From the woodsy scent that trailed behind him, to the feeling of his stubble against your skin, the gentle push of his lips against yours. It was anything done in a passionate moment or as a last resort, but more so... a promise.

A step in what was to come. A notion of something small for now, but bigger things to happen to see, to feel-

Rick pulled back but stayed close -breaths a puff onto your skin, just looking at you, "I love you."

"Really?" You smirked -rather playfully, eyes dashing between the two of his, "-'Couldn't tell, cowboy."

He laughed, and you felt your heart flip in your chest, as his eyes softened into something you could see now -love, "I missed ya, so much. I can't- I won't lose you again, 'kay? No matter what. Promise me... Promise me you'll stay safe."

"Okay," you whispered back, leaning into his touch -a little stunned by such admiration, you'd never... you'd never considered that he loved you too, "-I promise, but you too, okay? I can't... If you're not safe, I don't know what I'll do-"

"Deal," he answered, in a sort of low rumble you could feel down to your toes -eyes heavy on you, as if they were tracing every inch of your being. As if doing so, would keep you there -safe.

And you thought, just for a second, maybe it would.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

This post is not related to literature, books or art , please skip the post since that's what u thought and stumbled upon it , this post is all about me and my personal thoughts on various chain of things in my life , which I want to write down here since Tumblr has been my safe place .

I went through my blog yesterday and tried to look up what i have been posting since the last few months, it gave me a lot of blue vibes altho it is a representation of what's going on in my head , on Tumblr specifically I only post what goes through me & what I been feelin , I have lived in every peice of quote I have posted over the span of months, i have resonated with them not just only once but multiple times over the period of time , but I don't want to post them always, I want to feel so many other emotions that exist out there so that I can post about them , intimacy love happiness faith youth friendship I want to feel them I want them to happen to me the way I feel blue heavily, intensely ,constantly ! I post on this blog so I can find people who have felt things that I have felt so that I know I am not the only person who has felt it this way & again I sometimes think about the people who felt the same things as they felt and wonder how miserable it has been for them too. I am never not thinking about the quote from van Gogh when he says I want people to touch me through my art I want people to feel my art I want them to say oh he feels deeply he feels deeply.

This year has undoubtedly been one of the worst years of my life i have suffered great losses not just of people but also of the person I was , I don't recall a single day in this year when I looked in the mirror and felt happy looking at myself ( I am not talking about the physical appearance here ) . This year has made me weak on all levels & i can't write down all the reasons for it cuz they won't justify anything, this year I have spent more time somewhere else rather than in myself, despite what i am writing here trust me I am a very optimistic person I still keep the faith & hope to do better in life everyday I am the person who will fall down ninety nine times and stand tall again on hundredth, i don't give up and sometimes i think thats what goes wrong with me I don't know when to give up which l believe has significantly hurted me over many things , indeed nothing has hurted me than my very being & my mistake cuz i have done a lot of them but the what makes me more ridiculous is I am the most intelligent person in my family tree and it's branches ( no i am not trying to praise myself)my opinions/choices are asked for decision making over lot of important things in their life which amusingly fits them well and satisfies them but the same wisdom/intelligence doesn't benefit me,it has caused me more damage than good , I read the quote from Bukowski where he says "Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didn't understand them" and i have never looked at myself in the same way again

As much as I believe in efforts and action I also believe some things are not just subjectivity enough with them for example my experience with love and friendship, i believe one of strongest reason I loved Leeza was the resemblance of our tragedies in the past , there is quote from nagato ( pain from Naruto shippden) where he says "" unless people comprehend the pain as others they truly cannot understand one other"" here the pain i and Leeza shared was very much similiar I thought we would understand each other best out of anyone in this planet, which made to put my 100% into loving her but unfortunately that was not enough

I wanted to meet people who would want to understand me ( only /atleast those who already knew me inside out) based on the way I did things and what happened to me & how much of what changed me overtime as a person, because i don't want to explain each time I do something to the person who already knows about me ,maybe this doens't make a lot of sense since this by far has been the most delusional thing I have ever thought of , I have never met someone as such i am being very honest about it ,and this is solely due to my own fault I am an over expaliner cuz i think people are overthinkers ( simply because I am one) .

I am trying my very best to change my life in every way i can , even if things aren't beautiful I am grateful that I am alive, i will always hope that things will get beautiful over time, sincerely and most Genuinely I want to feel those things ,i can not describe how badly i want nice things to happen to me , how i would like to be friends with someone who won't hurt me & to be loved by someone deeply enough that i can find my peace in them.

[broadwayfangirl222]

Addict VS Poison

Now this this isn't gonna be a "Which is better" comparison, they're both awesome to me. Plus that kinda comparison feels kinda...boring and could easily turn mean. I wanted to focus on how while they basically tackle the same topics/themes, with the same character, they end up having this different vibe to them. Let's start with the OG

(FYI I'm not gonna use any of the animation in addict as part of this character analysis since the other one doesn't have that yet and that changes quite a bit here)

Addict:

I'd say a decent chunk of this song can be summarized as "denial and distraction" Not actual denial though, but the kind of denial where you're aware but you just really, really don't want to, or you can't, actually deal the issue so you just distract yourself.

Despite having overdosed / And ending up comatose / I don't give a damn / I've let my emotions go / Fuck being a sober hoe / This is the mantra / This is my life you're playing with now / 'Til the end of the night / Surrounded by fire, the passion ignites

Angel here is basically going "fuck it, we party" He's decided to fully block out the lows, no matter how bad those lows are, and only embrace the highs. He wants squeeze every last ounce of fun and enjoyment he can out of his horrible situation. The most obvious moment of Angel completely addressing his feelings and isn't hiding behind this care free party persona is the reprise

I'm addicted to the sorrow / When the buzz ends by tomorrow / There's another rush of poison flowing into my veins / Giving me a dose of pleasure that resides by the pain / I'm addicted, I'm dependent / Looking awesome, feeling helpless

He admits he's feeling helpless and hurting and struggling here. And I don't want to mispeak on a topic like this so if i'm off on this please feel free to correct me. But the more I read this reprise the more I feel like this reprise also is kind of an admittance to this being a form of self harm too.

Now Cherri adds an interesting element to this. Even without seeing the animation you do get the impression she's by his side, she's sees what he's going through and wants to support him. One of her lines is basically offering her friendship and help

So, come if you're feelin' brave, and fancy yourself a mate / You want it, I got it / See what you like? / We could have it all by the end of the night

Without the animation this part I can see Cherri literally reaching out her hand to Angel in this part. He isn't alone here. He has someone by his side. Someone he can share the fun with and someone to commiserate with. This fact kinda gives it this hopeful tone to it despite the more negative lyrics and implications in parts. The reprise has this too with him saying maybe the hotel won't be terrible. He has this tentative hope for the future here for the first time.

Poison:

This one right off the bat this song has this frustration to it. Frustration for his situation as a whole, frustration at Valentino for putting him through all this, frustration at himself for fully knowing this is all toxic and terrible for him but still "falling for it" anyway (even thought it's obviously not his fault.) Again just purely from the lyrics and tone, this version of Angel feels like he's long past that denial and distraction. He's not distracting himself anymore. Any shred of fun and enjoyment he could have from this is just long since dead. He's completely aware here: He knows that he's trapped in a toxic cycle, fully aware it'll absolutely kill him one day. Part of the chorus is flat out "YEAH I KNOW, (it's/you're) poison" but despite that awareness, he's still stuck in this 'cause of Valentino.

Any way you want me, baby / That's the way you got me, I'll be yours / My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison / I got so good at bein' untrue / I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear / I disassociate, disappear / Yeah, yeah, yeah

He still has to be whatever Valentino wants and tell him whatever he wants to hear. The lyrics explicitly sate he completely detaches and simply plays the part he's supposed to. At this point there's no more denying or masking the situation to himself. Angel just sees it as pure survival now.

It's also interesting to note that it's only Angel here. There's no Cherri, or anyone, by his side in this song. He's isolated and desperate and hurt here. It feels like he's more at the end of his rope and just so lost on what to do. This is such a low point for him and his (after) life and he clearly doesn't see any out.

TLDR: Addict has this vibe of Angel wanting to embrace the chaos, the vices, the fun so he doesn't have to think on the bad. And that there's this shred of hope for the future at the end, like it might be possible for him to get out of this. Meanwhile Poison is him fully aware of his situation. He's frustrated, hurt and desperate to get out of this toxic cycle of abuse but he doesn't see how so he's just doing anything and everything he can to survive

[twisted-sickfics]

Tough Day

a lot of content warnings in this one for angel-typical sexual content and violence so please skip this one if that’s not something you’re comfortable with! this still has lots of caretaking and comfort, there’s just also valentino so please beware!

content warnings: MDNI, emeto, language, valentino, violence and sexual content

~

Angel knew it would be a tough day when he woke up feeling like shit.

Well, to be more specific, his stomach feels like shit and his entire body aches all over. It doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out that he’s probably coming down with something.

But he doesn’t have time to worry about that. Valentino needs him for a shoot and he’s not exactly going to take “I’m sick” as an excuse. He’s been higher and felt worse than this and completed shoots just fine. If he’s lucky, he doesn’t even remember them when he’s that out of it.

This is just…uncomfortable. Inconvenient. A fucking drag.

Getting to the set isn’t an issue but actually having to film? That’s another beast altogether. Having a bunch of dicks shoved in his mouth isn’t exactly the best idea when he’s already feeling like he could puke at any second. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like that’s the vibe Valentino wants to go for today.

Filming isn’t actually that bad, but it’s during the short break he’s allotted that things start to take a turn for the worse. He takes a drink of water and practically gags, feeling his stomach rebelling against the liquid he tried to introduce into his system.

“Angel, baby, we haven’t even played with your gag reflex today,” Valentino says, obviously having fun reveling in Angel’s misery. He just has to suck it up and take it, trying to fight back now would just be stupid. “Don’t tell me you’re losing your touch.”

“Not at all, Valentino,” Angel swears. “I’m fine.” The last thing he’s going to do is open up to Valentino and admit weakness. If anything, the creep would only want to exploit his misery even more.

Valentino looks at him intensely as though poring over every little detail of Angel’s body. It feels slimy. It feels violating. “Back to filming, then,” he commands and the stagehands and actors get into position. Angel follows suit.

It’s when he has a demon’s cock up his ass and his brain is being pounded out that the nausea gets worse. He lifts a hand to cover his mouth, but Valentino immediately yells, “Cut! Angel, what the Hell are you doing?! We need to hear you loud and clear!”

“Valentino, I—” He isn’t sure how he would have explained himself, but even fumbling over his words would have been better than doubling over and vomiting all over the bed. Which is exactly what happens. He hears the stage crew gasp and shout around him, pictures being snapped, and Valentino yelling at him.

It all gets fuzzy after that. Maybe it’s the fever he’s positive he has at this point or maybe it was all so awful that he blocked it out of his memory, but he doesn’t remember much of Valentino’s wrath, just being thrown out of the studio and yelled at by some stagehand to call a cab because the shoot is over.

That didn’t end very well.

Angel still has the cognizance to do exactly what that stagehand told him to do because he needs to get home now. He’s lucky a driver even lets him in the car with how rough he looks, but he manages not to throw up in the backseat for the entire ride. That’s a win in his book.

This late at night (or early in the morning), not many of the hotel’s employees are still awake. Alastor might be lurking around somewhere but that doesn’t really count. Husk is the only one up at this hour, but that’s about the only person Angel feels comfortable showing himself around while he looks and feels like this.

“Hey,” Angel greets, his tone noticeably less excitable than usual. “‘m not feelin’ great today, you got anythin’ other than booze here?” He hasn’t eaten or drunk anything since the previous day now and he knows he should at least get some non-alcoholic fluids into his system.

That…definitely wasn’t what Husk was expecting. He thought Angel would immediately ask for the strongest drink he could make, but for him to admit that he’s not feeling well? Husk decides to keep a close eye on him out of concern. “I’ve got coffee, milk, tea, and water,” he offers. “Take your pick.”

Angel’s stomach rolls at the thought of drinking anything other than plain water right now, so he opts for that. Husk eyes him for a moment longer than usual before handing him a glass of water. “How was work?”

“Terrible,” Angel admits. “I threw up all over the bed during the shoot and Valentino threw me outta there. Guess I ain’t getting paid this time.” There’s no way Valentino will pay him for screwing up. He’ll have to resort to other means to make ends meet for the month, then.

“What the fuck?!” Husk shouts, and he immediately lowers his voice because of the way Angel flinches. “That bastard did this to you? Because you got sick? The next time I see that guy, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“After today, I think I’d like that,” Angel says, taking a swig of his water like it’s alcohol and immediately regretting it. His stomach still isn’t feeling great. “Listen, I’m gonna head to my room now. You have any drugs I can take? Like, the actual medicine kind?”

He must be feeling worse than he’s letting on if he’s actually asking for medicine. Even now, he’s performing. “You head upstairs and I’ll meet you there. I’ll bring you some meds and some water.”

Angel looks like he’s about to say something for a moment, but stops himself. Instead, he nods and heads to his room. Husk knows the bitterness of the tea would probably upset his stomach even more, so he pours him a glass of water instead. He gets some nausea medicine and some fever reducers (just in case, the guy was looking a little worse-for-wear) and heads to Angel’s bedroom where he’s immediately greeted by the sound of retching from the bathroom.

“Angel?” Husk calls out, setting the glass of water and medicine on the nightstand and opening the door to the bathroom only to be greeted with Angel hunched over the toilet, expelling what little is left in his stomach. “Hey, ‘s okay. Just breathe.”

Angel gags, bringing up a small amount of stomach acid. “I feel like shit,” he moans, eyes streaming with tears from the strain of throwing up, his voice hoarse and raw.

“I know,” Husk sympathizes, “but you’re doing great. Just lemme know when you’re done and we can get you cleaned up.” He takes this opportunity to check his forehead for a fever and sure enough, he’s burning up.

It’s tough to see someone who’s usually so strong in Husk’s eyes barely able to keep themselves up in front of a toilet bowl, and he really feels for the guy. If he had any kind of power over Valentino, he would kick his ass into oblivion for working Angel to the bone while sick.

“Think I’m done,” Angel says, looking absolutely miserable. He looks like he might pass out, so Husk wants to get him to bed as soon as possible. Husk rips off a piece of toilet paper and uses that to clean around Angel’s mouth. It might just be the fever, but his face looks really red.

“Think you can stand up?” Husk asks. He’s surprised when Angel nods, attempting to stand up on his own, but he leans on Husk for support as he walks to bed.

For the first time that night, Husk sees Angel visibly relax and close his eyes. “No going to sleep yet, sweetheart,” he says, apologetic since he knows the only thing Angel must want to do right now is go to sleep. “I need you to take these.”

Angel swallows the pills with some water and sighs. “If I have to go into work tomorrow, I think I’ll actually die again. I feel like shit, Whiskers.” How honest. When he’s not feeling well, Angel tends to be a bit more truthful. Interesting.

“I know you do, Legs. Tell you what, you sleep in today and get some rest. If Valentino comes knocking, I’ll set Alastor on him. Sound good?”

“Mhm,” Angel mumbles affirmatively, but he’s already half-asleep and very out of it. He probably doesn’t know what he’s agreeing to, but there’s no way Husk is letting him go to work tomorrow when he’s this sick. He’s already thrown up twice and his fever felt pretty high. Whatever Valentino is going to do to him won’t be good.

Husk turns to leave when he feels a hand grip his wrist. “Wait…please stay…” Angel mumbles. How could Husk say no when he’s asked like that? He isn’t completely heartless. Just mostly heartless.

It doesn’t take long for Angel to fall asleep. He must have been exhausted, because it usually takes him much longer. Husk sits next to him, reading a book he’d been meaning to catch up on.

Husk flips through the pages of his book when Angel begins to stir again. He doesn’t appear to be awake but he looks distressed, as though he’s having a nightmare. Husk doesn’t wake him because he doesn’t want to disorient him even further, but a large small part of him feels badly seeing him like that.

Eventually, Angel wakes up with a gasp. “You’re alright, Legs,” Husk says, a steadying hand on his back. “You just had a nightmare. You’re in your room and you’re fine.”

He doesn’t feel fine, though. His stomach is in knots and he’s starting to sweat but he feels cold. He just dreamt about Valentino and he has to go to work the next day like this. There’s no way he can work like this! He’s going to get in so much trouble.

Husk can see Angel starting to work himself up even more, but he doesn’t know what to say to him to make it better. It’s only when Angel’s breaths start to morph into nauseous hiccups that Husk goes to get a trash can and places it under Angel’s mouth.

Angel starts to gag unproductively, bringing up strings of saliva. It isn’t a pretty sight, but Husk wants to be here for him. He has to. “It’s all right, Angel,” he says, “just let it out if you have to.”

Eventually, Angel finally does bring up a mouthful of bile and Husk winces. He hasn’t seen him this out of sorts in, well, ever. And he’s seen Angel in many different states.

It seems like that’s all he’s going to be able to bring up because the rest of his retches are dry and unproductive. Husk has to help him sit back in bed as he moves the trash can out of the way. “How’re you feeling?” he asks tentatively, though he has a feeling he already knows the answer.

“Like shit,” Angel says, as expected. “I think I threw up the medicine you made me take. Sorry ‘bout that.”

That’s when his phone starts blowing up. Husk is able to see the contact labeled “Valentino” on his phone, followed by several messages with some very aggressive language. He doesn’t miss the way Angel tenses up when a new text comes in.

“I-I should answer that,” he says, reaching for his phone before Husk snatches it out of his grasp.

“No way,” Husk says, “you’re not answering that asshole. I’ll take care of everything, promise. You deserve one day for yourself. Worst case scenario, tell that Valentino to shove a dick up his ass because you’re not going and that’s that.”

He’s worried he crossed some boundaries there, but Angel’s lips turn upward in a small smile. That’s enough to make Husk smile too. “Just get some rest, sweetheart.”

Husk isn’t stupid, he knows that means more work and possibly more punishment for Angel down the road. But for now, he’s in no state to show up for a shoot. Anything that comes later, they can handle. For now, he can just focus on resting and feeling better.

Angel doesn’t have to ask him to stay this time.

[jujumin-translates]

Event | Xmas PARK CARNIVAL | Chapter 4

Sakuya: Haah, that was really good. Thank you for the meal!

Banri: Thanks for the meal.

Masumi: Thanks for the meal.

Banri: Aight, let’s start lookin’ at the books Sakuya got.

Sakuya: Yeah! I picked out a bunch of picture books, and just some with pictures in them too.

*Page turns*

Masumi: Hmm… there really are a lot of pictures of towns during Christmas.

Sakuya: The Christmas market and lights are really cute! I’m getting kinda excited just looking at it.

Masumi: …I can’t wait to see this with her.

Banri: And there’s the Masumi we all know and love.

Masumi: So what? …It’s not like I won’t help out and do the show properly because of it.

Banri: Oh, right, I remembered somethin’ while looking at the documents we got about the amusement park the other day.

Banri: When I was a kid, I went on a trip overseas to a place like that for Christmas.

Sakuya: Eeh!? That’s incredible!

Banri: I only remembered when I saw the documents, so my memory’s a little fuzzy.

Masumi: If you went overseas, you probably at least have some pictures.

Banri: True. Next time I go to my parents’ house, I’ll ask about it.

Sakuya: …Fufu, this kinda feels like back when we were in high school.

Banri: You too, Sakuya? I was kinda feelin’ the same way since it’s us three.

Sakuya: Same! What about you, Masumi-kun?

Masumi: Not really.

Banri: I guess that means he’s thinkin’ the same way we are.

Masumi: You can’t just decide to interpret it however you want.

Sakuya: Ahahah.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: Mizuno-san had delivered the script from the amusement park! So let’s all go over it today.

Banri: Before we do that, I’ve got somethin’ I wanna show everyone.

Banri: This is a pic of me from when I went on a vacation as a kid. The vibes of the place were similar to the ones of the new area in the amusement park, so I thought I’d bring it as a reference.

Izumi: Wah, thank you! I can’t believe you really went somewhere like that when you were little, Banri-kun.

Muku: Waah, Banri-san is really cute in this!

Tasuku: A real-life photo like this really makes it easier to visualize the place compared to just the ones in the document.

Tenma: Yeah. Thanks to this picture, we’ll all be able to visualize the stuff in the script more concretely.

Guy: Yes. Now then, let’s all read through the script.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Muku: It’s a really lovely story filled with Christmas spirit!

Tenma: The story’s set in a town and is about a boy who loves Christmas and a boy who hates Christmas.

Tenma: Alright, should we start thinking about the casting?

Izumi: The owner of the amusement park said that they’d really like the two boys to be Banri-kun and Sakuya-kun.

Izumi: After all, you are the two they said they really wanted to see perform.

Banri: You should’ve led with that.

Izumi: It looks like they didn't specify any further than that.

Masumi: From reading the script, I think Rudolph, the boy who loves Christmas, would be a good fit for Sakuya, and Snowray, the boy who hates Christmas, would be a good fit for Banri.

Tenma: Yeah, that’s the impression I was getting too.

Banri: That’s good by me, but what about you, Sakuya?

Sakuya: …Ah, umm…

Tasuku: There’s no need to rush it, okay?

Guy: Yes. We still have time, so you two can take your time deciding.

Sakuya: T-Thank you so much.

Izumi: Alright then, we’ll put the casting on hold for those two and cast everyone but Banri-kun and Sakuya-kun.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[thuganomxcs]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

If we're speaking in the canon sense like in his universe I really do like the idea of yusuke x botan because I like the aspects of him with death...not to mention he's a devil now too soo. I still love Yusuke x Keiko tho just so the peeps know there's no hatred for our girl.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Anything like a muse being a fucking minor and the other almost hitting their 40's. There's ONE particular verse that does this shit but this ain't about them. As long as you don't ship your literal grown man/woman with a literal definition of a child then I wouldn't have to be disturbed.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?

The minute a hand touches a boob or the clothes begin to fly off I'm guessing it's considered NSFW.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

LOL I'd say I am..but people have known to just show up, write with me and in a day of our muses vibing we're already shipping them. I MEAN if I have to be selective I'd say..as long as she's a woman XD

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Where do I even begin?? First of all I gotta go with the one that started this and that's @belovedblossoms Hiyori. She was the first person I've ever shipped Yusuke with and that relationship has started from not so disney friendly beginnings but entertaining as shit. Then there's @lady-llewellyn El who just ruins the guy, I swear in this ship Yusuke is the innocent one in the relationship no cap. We got @itmeanspeace Shiloh, this one started off just plain physical until she became attached, lol look at me talk as if Yusuke didn't catch feelings too..probably first since he's still kinda technically a human. Give it up for @swordsxandxsakuras Nezuko, the first one to actually go the full nine yards with him to dating all the way down to married with kids. Then there's my homie @fatexbound Chie I wouldn't CALL it a relationship yet but they're definitely in that phase in getting to know one another. You know I gotta put my home girl @adversitybloomed Mulan, who's probably seen everything there is to who Yusuke is as a character, she's been with him as a pervert all the way to him being nice and doing stuff for people. She's also helped him with his family life might have bribed him to go to college but in the end Yusuke proposed to her and it's actually the first REAL proposal I've written as him. I also can't use the term ship without mentioning @bravesung old OC Alyssa, she was definitely a special one who refused to buy into what people said about him, and after discovering he was supernatural (to a degree) just like her it got them to bonding. She's probably believed in him more than he did in himself when it came down to school because she NEVER let him quit HELL she brought his ass TO school whilst he was still sleeping in bed, picture that in your minds if you will. I got good ships and there's even this unhealthy one right here with my girl @acoldsovereign Maiz, tons of ships starts with curiosity, cute moments and even love at first sight and this one is just violence, one devil often tries to get the other devil to dig into those natural urges and forsake his human heart (that literally isn't even working anymore) and just behave like a demon, there's also acts of public terrorism but he'd punch her right..and she'd kick him wrong, it's a tug and pull with 'em. Bruh this segment is getting long since belovedblossom also has other muses that are shipped with Yusuke too and i have a feelin we'd be here ALL day and I've still got a few to talk about. Just know I love all y'alls muses.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Nah, I mean if we write and there's a connection then I'd say let 'em go for it. EVEN IF you came to me writing Keiko and you're worried about shipping with me cause you'd think it's forced and i'm obligated to because of the canon then don't. It'd still be cool in my book.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm not ship obsessed but I would say it's a fun thing to have cause when you're talkin' to your homies and the muses come u you can talk about the ship, or how a song reminds you of them. Shipping whether it's romantically, platonically or familial, they bring us together as writers and we because better pals cause of it. Cause there's always something to talk about when we wanna forget about that bill we can't pay.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Let me tell you something about my fandom on tumblr: It hardly exists XDD there's really only a handful of us.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Simple, we write. If there's chemistry between the muses well then your muse has got themselves a partner. He's by no means an easy person to love but once you've got him you've got someone that'll be there for your muse indefinitely. And if ya wanna discuss the possibility then my DMs are always open..even if i'm terribly slow with 'em.

tagged: @vartouhix

tagging: Y'all gonna have to steal this one homies. Tag me when ya do cause imma read it.

[toujokaname]

Game master / Episode 14

Author: Akira

Characters: Aira, Kohaku, HiMERU, Hiiro

"Of course, HiMERU doesn't have emotions such as fear."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Mountain Hut

About an hour later. The second checkpoint in the test of courage showdown, an abandoned house.

Aira: Ahhh, no way no way no way.... I didn't become an idol to get scared like this!

I just wanna go home alreadyyy! Munch on some convenience store food, and catch up on idol livestreams from the safety of my couch!

Kohaku: Yeah... I was real excited 'bout the test of courage and feelin' pumped, but now that I'm settlin' down, it's gettin' kinda spooky...

Even though I've got good night vision, it's gettin' too dark to see anythin'.

HiMERU: Thankfully, the weather is good amidst the misfortune, but when you enter places where the starlight doesn't shine through, it's like blindly feeling your way through the dark.

Aira: This place really has those countryside vibes, with no artificial lights at all. It takes me back to visiting my grandma's place in the past.

Hiiro: Aira's grandmother was from a country called France, right?

Aira: Yeah... It's not as rural as the Amagi Village, but all we had around our house were vineyards for making wine.

I remember hearing what seemed like wolf howls back then, it was super scary.

Kohaku: Now that ya mention it, there ain't any signs of wild animals or insects in this Amagi Village.

Though there's a presence within the buildings, it's likely just the villagers.

Aira: The villagers are kinda creepy too...

It's typical of a backward village, but besides that Takashi-kun who's a Hiro-kun lookalike, everyone else is holed up indoors, not even peeking out.

Hiiro: I think everyone's just cautious because outsiders are rare.

But, I was also concerned about what Oukawa-san pointed out.

Kohaku: Bit late for this, but quit callin' me “Oukawa-san," like I'm some stranger. Kohaku's fine.

Hiiro: Umu. I was also concerned about what Kohakucchi—

Kohaku: I didn't allow ya to go that far?

Aira: Stop! Only I can use that nickname! No stealing!

HiMERU: Fufu. It's scarier when people are silent, so it's helpful to talk even about trivial topics.

Of course, HiMERU doesn't have emotions such as fear.

Kohaku: You some kinda robot or somethin', HiMERU-han?

Aira: I have a theory that HiMERU-senpai's the most scared out of all of us... For some reason, he always hangs back where he can use someone else as a shield, never in the front...

HiMERU: Isn't this the most sensible arrangement? Given that HiMERU lacks the night vision of Oukawa or Hiiro-san, wouldn't he be inadequate to lead the way?

Kohaku: You're always so quick to make excuses...

Hiiro: Hehe. Well, it might be that the lack of signs of wildlife is the villagers' consideration. Maybe they've already removed them so we won't get inadvertently attacked.

But what we should be concerned about more than such trivial discomfort is that the ghost story Mayoi-senpai told us is gradually becoming more believable.

Aira: Yeah... I wanted to believe it was just nonsense to freak us out, but...

We're following the exact route they told us to take.

And yet there are still traces of the staff from the paranormal show, who got caught up in the mysterious phenomena.

Though it's probably all set up by Rinne-senpai and the other scarers... Even at the last checkpoint, there was something like a staff member's notes placed there.

HiMERU: Just like the account told in the notes, we stumbled upon vinyl strings and carvings left by the staff as markers.

Aira: Carvings? Were there really?

HiMERU: There were scratches on a tree made with a knife or something similar. It had dates and names presumably belonging to the staff of the paranormal program carved into it.

Naturally, those dates and names matched the ones in the notes.

Since there's no internet connection in this village, we cannot be sure that people with those names were once real and are now missing.

—Along with other facts that cannot be verified.

Aira: S-So, those notes and everything, they're all just made up by the scarers, right?

HiMERU: Who knows... It seems too elaborate for that.

It's not something that can be done overnight, writing lengthy notes and leaving traces exactly as described.

And the scarers arrived in this Amagi Village at the same time as us. It's hard to believe they had time to prepare for such a test of courage.

Kohaku: Yeah... After arriving in the Amagi Village, Rinne-han and the others were with us the whole time.

Of course, given Rinne-han's status, he might've ordered these preparations from the villagers.

He's always dead serious 'bout havin' his fun, but why go through all this hassle? And even if he did, what'd be the point?

Aira: D-Did he really wanna freak us out this bad?

I bet Rinne-senpai's out there somewhere, laughing away from behind some bushes even now!

Kohaku: Hmm... Even Rinne-han ain't that nasty deep down— Mm?

Aira: W-What's wrong, Kohakucchi? Don't suddenly stop moving, or you'll startle me?!

Kohaku: My bad... Hmm~ Must've just been my imagination.

(I've been feeling strange gazes for a while now... Even if they're the guys tryna scare us, there's too many of them, no?)

(Maybe the bored villagers get a kick outta watchin' the dumbass idols from the city doin' dumbass things?)

Aira: Ugh~! Can we just get this over with already?

This test of courage showdown's just the fourth match, so Matrix isn't even halfway through, right?

It'd be stupid to use up all our energy and strength being scared here. I wanna wrap up the unpleasant work quickly!

Kohaku: Right. In fact, it'd ruin the atmosphere if it gets light in the mornin'. We gotta get through the checkpoints as soon as possible.

HiMERU: Yes. The Amagi Village is smaller than expected, so it's fortunate that there isn't much distance to cover.

HiMERU: (But even that feels slightly offputting.)

(Based on Rinne's previous remarks, HiMERU had predicted that his hometown would be much larger—the size of a nation, even.)

(Has he been carelessly trusting of Rinne's penchant for grandiosity, overestimating its authenticity?)

[ ☆ ]

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[massyworld]

My Chapter 22 Commentary

“We aren’t going on a date!” “Yes, we are!” The beautiful boys that you are. I love the start to this chapter, their combined prettiness hit me like a truck ngl. It was also such an odd feeling seeing Kagiura’s hair still left in the same position as we last saw it months ago. Feelin like we’re on earth while Kagihira are on the Miller planet in Interstellar, time speeding by for us but inching ever so slowly for them. Anyway, they’re adorable here. And Kagiura is getting prettier by every chapter.

I love how much bolder Kagiura is now too; probably emboldened by Hirano’s initiative in choosing the location of the 10 seconds last chapter. And Hirano. Hirano, once again, saying no to something with Kagiura, then realizing he’s actually at least somewhat okay with it (if not more).

Chapter 22: Slowly but Surely. The Gap Between Givers and Takers Like everyone else, I’m soooo encouraged by the name of this chapter. Like. This is really happening huh. Things are really changing for Hirano in real-time, and he’s becoming very incrementally more aware of it. And the tagline is so ooogh… is it referring to the palpable difference felt when you are the giver of touch (by extension, affection, and by extension, love), is it referring to the gap slowly and ultimately diminishing to the point that there is no longer a difference felt whether one is the giver or taker and the effect felt is the same no matter what? Is it referring to the widening discrepancy between our boundless acquisition of our planet’s resources and what our poor earth is physically capable of supplying us with hence sending us further past the point of no-return for ecological sustainability? Only sensei has the true answers.

“We’re just going shopping! No one calls that a ‘date’!” “People go on shopping dates all the time!” Kagiura continuing to fight the good fight. He’s right, Hirano. I mean if even uniform dates exist, surely anything can be a date…

“How long?” “It’s a secret. But I’ll tell you… Once you fall in love with me.” Honestly, I don’t really know specifically, but I feel like the fact that sensei did a throwback to Hirano wondering how long Kagiura’d been in love with him, is more significant/relevant to the future storyline than we think right now…  

Other than, you know, Kagiura cranking up his rizz to MAXIMUM DRIVE Niibashi putting distance between him and Kagiura in front of Hirano is so funny. Even funnier is Kagiura’s adorable little “Niibashi’s mad at me because I’m missing a button :D” happy-go-lucky air here while he grins ear to ear. I also love the different ways both Niibashi and Hirano get angry around Kagiura hahah. Kagiura really is the perfect easygoing friend for that kind of personality. Still thinking about somebody pointing out the fact that Kagiura’s button was shown missing since the chapter cover for #20…

“Shall we skip practice today? I feel bad monopolizing you every day.” Please monopolize him until the end of time. Niibashi just quietly simmering in the background like my dinner. Hirano looking up at Kagiura in such a cute little way while holding the ends of his sweater, why the frick does this give me such domestic vibes.. Ha ha it reminds me of Kagiura holding Hirano’s ring folder when he was fixing it up in the nurs e ‘ s  o f  f  i     c     e         .            .                    .

I’m sorry I am now looking at the symbolism for paper cranes (the ones in the background on the table behind Niibashi calling Kagiura a slob, and well, it’s not much, it’s just stuff like honor, good luck/fortune (hmm), loyalty and longevity (hmmmmm)… Slowly but surely…

Sewing privileges transferred. Niibashi’s organs eroding from the inside-out from seeing (and probably simultaneously remembering everything Kagiura’s told him Hirano has done/said) every speck of affection dripping out from every crevice on Hirano’s gay little face and body.

“There’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it.” Including realizing your growing romantic feelings for Kagiura, right? Man the way Hirano keeps poking/hurting himself in the process of trying to fix Kagiura’s button/make up for wrecking it himself… makes me emo how he doesn’t mind getting hurt if it’s all for Kagiura’s sake aghhhh byeeeee… Love all the fond smiles Kagiura gives when Hirano says something cool, gahhhh… they love each other so much… I cant handle them…. “Ugh, why do you have to be so stubborn even with something like this?!” “I’m just messing with you.” Aaaand there’s his first smile of the chapter, followed by the next one 6 pages later (and one of my favourite panels of Kagihira together ;___; laughing together and relishing purely just being with the other….

Can’t remember if someone said this already, but I don’t know if it’s significant here, them both being on one side of the window frame’s shadow (the ‘centre line’ (Romance: don’t cross the line)). I mean it’d make sense I guess, since what Kagiura initiated wasn’t super romantic relatively speaking, albeit still a very affectionate gesture. Either way though- no lines were crossed, for sure.

Bony shoulder… hard thigh from the lap pillow… the physical awareness of each others’ bodies…. the way Kagiura rubs his head on it like he’s a cat on a scratching post… I digress. Love how sensei does lighting in her manga. The shadow that separates part of Hirano from Kagiura on the page after Kagiura told him it makes his heart race. Oooh…

...It doesn’t make mine race, though. But… It’s still not bad at all. What if I died. No but for real, this hurtssss because Hirano’s thinking to himself how he doesn’t physiologically feel the same as Kagiura, but he still enjoys the contact. He still likes touching it. Even if I’m not in love with you the way you are with me, I still want to be with you Kagi-kun.

I also want to mention something. I’ve kind of picked up this little.. thing.. of counting the panels of their ten second touching as if each panel is a second. Now, I’m too lazy to look through right now but there was at least one time when it equated to about 10 panels, 10 seconds, right? Well here, I’m counting 14 panels of his head being on Hirano’s shoulder. I was talking with friends about this and we were so unanimous about the fact that this was *not* 10 seconds long. Okay, it could’ve been, but c’mon, between all their talking, do you reallyyyy think Kagiura was fully counting the whole time. Be for real

Oh… Was that 10 seconds already? Back to the lighting. MAN. So good. The shadow on both the boys as Kagiura removes the weight of his head from Hirano’s shoulder. I hope his shoulder felt lighter. I hope it felt wrong to feel so light. Just like when Kagiura removed his arms from around Hirano after the hug and Hirano shivered a little. I hope each and every continued loss of weight and warmth is an accumulated strip torn off of Hirano’s psyche, and I hope he reaches the point where he is just a building torn to shreds whose only hope for reconstruction is the handyman responsible for the teardown in the first place.

God I just noticed Kagiura’s made that smiling while looking down face before, in chp 17, and Hirano just watches him so closely… but that wasn’t after touching. However in chp15 it was after their first 10 sec touching, but he wasn’t smiling, he looked blushily anguished, and Hirano was observing him in the panel right before it, top left, just as he is here…

Oh Hirano…bold of you to think Kagiura’s only been teaching you basketball…

It’s so crazy how Miyano dispels all this manga-obtained BL wisdom and yet does not have the intuition to put 2 and 2 together from what is coming out of Hirano’s mouth. It’s okay, not everyone can be Tashiro/Hanzawa…

Also, I feel like everyone’s processed it long enough that it’s just normal now, but Hirano admitting his heart raced during the hug and it not being mentioned at all (not even in motherfreaking SFX) up until this point is insane. It’s insanity. What other finer details are being kept under wraps til much later? Anyway, so I guess Hirano’s parents aren’t the hugging type ;_;  

Love the Hiramiya banter. And Hirano’s chibi face in the, “Yeah, right???” panel. Aaaand cue Exhibit #2(?) of Hirano’s selective hearing in full display. So frustrating yet funny. Miyano literally giving out the secrets to the universe FOR FREE and Hirano’s out here like “man I really need the secrets of the universe, whatever shall I do”

I mean, personally, I don’t think we can know for sure yet if his heart was beating hard during the hug from surprise or from ~something else~, until they, like, schedule in a hug or something. Pencil it into their busy schedules in advance and know it’s coming and be fully prepared for it only for his heart to start racing again despite the precognition and become totally ruined inside and out, only then will I sleep soundly at night-

And then the infamous: When he’s around…it’s so much easier to focus. God I wish I could see him 顔が見てえ…Kao ga mitē…I want to see his face…. instant ruination. thrown asunder further into uncertainty. I’ve definitely had crushes where my infatuation developed while at a distance, pondering how much I think of them, and then leading to further physical reactions within their proximity. I feel… good things will come of this date. Though it’d be nice if Kagiura hugged Hirano during the date, to further nail down Miyano’s quote of how much they wanted to see the person, and then getting embraced after.

Ahhh… Hirano pissed off, then receiving Kagi’s text and instantly relaxing and smiling…and regaining the focus to study. Not to mention Hirano adding a date-like activity to their very non-date date. And calling it “not a date, but...”

I’m going to throw them into the sun. /lovingly

[bloodresin]

since I was last on here regularly I got a schizoaffective (depression variety) diagnosis and I feel like it is probably in line with the diagnosis that I’m not fully convinced of it. lol. I think it’s because I experience the negative symptoms 10x more strongly than the positive ones (hallucinations/delusions) which schizo diagnoses are so stereotypically known for. got a soft autism diagnosis but will not be returning for the official diagnosis as I don’t have the funds and it’s prob better anyway because having that in my documents will likely prevent me from doing things I wanna do in the future

I quit smoking cigarettes, and rly everything but I do have a drink once in a while like when I go out to dinner or w/e( I rarely do). as an ex-drug doer that’s a big ol deal because smoking cigs was kinda my last ~bad habit~ I let myself do. realized smoking was a stim for me so I actually just bought some tactile stim toys and we are good2go. will specify that I still have bad habits technically they are just disguised as passable regular things (spending money! but too much! Clothing designer purchases etc. eating issues from a long ass time ago that never fully dissipate) but we are managing

I’m currently in a position in life where I finished one chapter but there’s at least 10 fuckin blank pages before the next chapter and that’s just the vibe. floating in the ether (also mid Saturn return rn)

I’ve been rly in the mood to write something somewhere somehow and I guess that’s what this is I need to dump the thoughts because they are big. overflowing and I have been talking less and less and unable to verbalize in my daily life. kinda wanna take it to like substack or something idk. I need a word document. Some time some silence I’m feelin poetic and philosophical lmao. my first instinct is to think that is embarrassing but it’s literally fine.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 1 - Part 27

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Nova: I watched your conversations on the screen but, I think there’s more delicate information you must’ve drawn out from how you came in touch with the person themselves.

Nova: Something like, a hint that could serve as to break out of “the current state of affair”----

Nico: Can’t think of anything in particular.

Nico: More importantly, I’m hungry

Nova: Eh

Nova: Bianchi, Jude, let’s go eat something.

Bianchi: Yes, sounds good.

Jude: I’m going if Bianchi’s going.

Nova: Well well now…

Victor: I can sense the estrangement.

Nova: Feelin’ the vibes too, Vic? I wonder if there’s a line they don’t want us to cross after all~?

Nova: They’ve been like that since their rookie days, of how they don’t let anyone get close. A unique kind of characteristic, or something along these lines…

Nova: The synergy between these four is strangely powerful if I had to say~

Victor: Subsequently to Brad and the others from the 10th generation, they served as a suitable example of Rookies training and were highly praised for it.

Nova: They did come across as lone wolves at first… Maybe it’s all due their mentors, Robin-kun’s, achievements~

Victor: Although I still believe that they come across as a pack of lone wolves.

Nova: Yeah. Also feels like it won’t work out if it’s not the four of them…

Victor: I recall that Sage was the only one with a gentle and sociable disposition. Perhaps he truly is the one we must hear from first. 

Nova: Right…

Nova: Been a week already, huh. Would be nice if he woke up one way or another…

Sage: ….

[annieqattheperipheral]

listened to matty's interview on the cam & strick podcast the other day while commuting and if you've been hesitating bc you can't stand doofus hockeymen blabbering but rly love matthew tkachuk, listen to it. he talks a lot a lot WAY more than the interviewers and i was pleasantly surprised-- which is so not the case with spittin chiclets podcast. biz & whit fuckin love the sound of their own voices telling their misogynistic glory tales while cutting off their guests. not to say c&s weren't🙄 but still listenable!

my biggest takeaway from Matthew's interview was how much he is so so soooo ready to, prepared to, has a sensible head for being the face of the nhl to promote the ever lovin fuck outta it, take it to the next level. But the nhl remains garbage league as per usual.

i was especially endeared by how this american boy (half canadian!! I wonder if the 3 kids have dual citizenships...? would make it easier for them to live and work here I'd think.) who (paraphrasing) has found his own personal paradise now living and working in florida said (paraphrasing) "every player should play in canada, on a canadian team, at some point. there's nothing like it" thank you, matty💕 and ty brady for fuckin loving it here.

the talent drain of players to markets where they can live anonymously off the ice is a heartbreak hockey fans don't talk about v much (I'm still really heartbroken about losing ror & schenn to the preds ok!! their vibes, skills, passion and leadership were exactly what our boys needed) ig we just shrug & accept it bc you can't force ppl to enjoy the spotlight and write it off as oh they like the tax breaks🙄 ofc every canadian market player talks about "the pressure"... which ok someone pls explain. Is that not part of competing. Ok fine fine can't force any situation on anyone

Sigh. Idk maybe I'm just having my omg the season is so close am i ready blues. Feelin off about wtf the Leafs vibes are gonna be. I've been ostrich head in sand about my feelings since that discombobulating first week of free agency and i don't think I'll be settled until we get to the reg season. Pls if you're hyped abt the Leafs season don't let me drag u down!!! I am rly excited about the avs, oilers, sens, flames, pens. and yooo let's see caufield hit his stride again. Hopefully this season isn't too long of a recovery period post surgery

[thebowerypresents]

STS9 Take Brooklyn Steel on a Voyage on Friday

STS9 – Brooklyn Steel – September 13, 2023

When they still went by the full name Sound Tribe Sector 9, what the band did was right there in their moniker: sonic voyages that get way out there and most certainly beyond, thanks to a delectably competent blend of space rock, jam-band jazz, electronic music, drum ’n’ bass, psychedelia, EDM and other flavors that push all over the place but doesn’t sprawl. Today, they simply go by STS9, but the mission is the same: Get out there, get wild, blow some minds, blow a lot of minds.

We don’t get STS9 in NYC that often. This weekend’s Brooklyn Steel stand was their first multinight run here since before the pandemic. And that meant that it was time to get down, good ’n’ proper, and on Friday, the first of two nights in Brooklyn, the five-piece served a little bit of everything over two sets.

They’re almost all instrumental, except for some occasional vocal effects or samples from sung or spoken-word records they incorporate. Crucially, and somewhat unique among electronica-shot-through rock bands, they resist the sometimes-jam-band-y urge to let individual solos dominate how the music progresses. STS9 have always been an all-at-once unit that shifts and contorts and rocks and freaks out as one, a moving beast. This helps make their songs feel like, yep, voyages. Most tunes begin either with slow builds that eventually surge to shattering peaks or they get right into your face from the jump, then lightly confound expectations by morphing into different modes before resolving or shifting into other tunes entirely. 

Friday’s two sets pulled tunes from so many different corners of what STS9 do, although the common thread was often massive, dance-it-off payoffs, one after the other. “New Dawn, New Day” — with its vocal sample of Nina Simone’s “Feelin’ Good” — was all vibe-y groove. “Wika Chikana,” by contrast, didn’t pick any one groove at all, loving on its gnarly syncopation like a Frank Zappa carnival ride atop New Orleans funk. 

“Vapors” — late in the second set — was a jittery video-game soundtrack, starting as heavy space-rock and then setting loose its drummers into propulsive untz-untz territory. “Move My Peeps,” a favorite of this writer’s, built layer upon layer of synths and other sonics to begin spectral and then, as it dynamically upshifted, menacing. The deliberate, woozy “F. Word” sounded trip-hop, but its rhythm turned so stabbing and slashing that it built toward something more industrial-stomp. 

Each of these was a little voyage, none too short to feel impatiently explored, none too long to feel formless or trudging. We were totally spent by the time they wrapped up things with a whirring, emotional “Circus” in the encore slot, but we’d have been for hearing what another hour could bring, too. —Chad Berndtson | @Cberndtson

Photos courtesy of Hillary Safadi | @hillasafadi

[bewitchingbaker]

Valentine’s Day Application

Name: Beth Riley an' no you're not gonna make me say da whole kine cause by time I would be done, we gettin' ready f' Easter.

Age: 29

Do you like to cuddle?: Is Holy Faddah ~da Pope~ Cat'olic? You already know da answer t' dis one as you are in fact my primary victim. I mean...cuddlee? Wha' you call dat person who receive cuddles?

Can we make-out?: This is where Beth giggles and looks away, a corresponding blush to match his. Her already soft voice becomes smaller still, almost inaudible against the sound of drizzle outside. "I mean. No can promise I won't...keep teeth t' myself, but I have it on good aut'ority dat you kinda don't hate it. So."

A night in or dinner out?: Uhm...hones'ly, I know you like goin' out, explorin' da city an' all da funky little pop-ups an' unique places, but I'm sort of a homebody at heart. My compromise den is to take a map of da city and tack it up to dart board, t'row a couple, see where dey land...den go an' pick out appetisers, drinks, food, an' den pack dem back to your house or mine. Now, notice I no say dessert because I would use my bes' feminine wiles t' get you to make me haupia or lilikoi filled malasadas, fresh.

Whip cream or chocolate syrup?: Gonna be Tulio and Miguel right now an' say both? Both is good. But it depends on wha' we gonna do wi' dem an' if mebbe when you say chocolate syrup you mean da dark chocolate an' sea-salt ganache still hot in from da waddah ba'd you made last week. Really broke da mout' an' I could eat our combined body weight of it.

Chocolates and roses?: She gives him a certain look, one that's as rare as hen's teeth. She isn't quite mad at him but something wounds her deep down. It takes a few seconds before she blinks that instant rage away, and then turns her jaw away apologetically. "Don't do roses."

What makes you a good Valentine?: Lessee, I know you forevah. We have a lifetime of ups an' downs, share so many kine in common, we bo'd laid-back kine of people, an' no maddah what we do? Always have a good time togeddah, or make a bad one beddah for one anoddah. So...I guess...dat's jus' it. I know you. I care about you. An' we're bo'd like stupidly soft.

Would you cook for me?: "Haven't in...I dunno how long. It's been almos' fifteen year? You know wha' happen last time I was lef' alone in da kitchen unsupervised...an' so does da Phoenix fire-department. Dey said nex' time dey would charge me wi' arson." They both know she's only half kidding. She can prep-cook and she can work creative wonders with frosting and fondant but she leaves the actual cooking to Chris.

Would you let me cook for you?: Same as cuddle answer. You're amazingly talented in all dat you do. To da point I'm pretty sure dat Kitchen-Witch is more dan jus' someone who practices magick wi' whatevah dey have on hand. An' I know you been tryin' to branch out, make somet'ing different from wha' you do in da bakery. I am volunteer as tribute, den, to be your taste-tester.

Where would you take me on a date?: Mmm. Whaddya in mood for? Live music I'd take you to da Van Buren. Or mebbe Char's if ya feelin' low key an' cozy. Or, since technically Valentimes is also Deat' t' Captain Cook day, maybe Undertow, but sometimes da whole 'ooooh, tiki-bar!' is so offensively fake Polynesia, mebbe we skip dat. Again, depends on where you wanna go, who ya wanna be seen by, wha' ya whole vibe is.

Who’s paying?:  Another look, a small archaeological dig in her backpack-that-pretends-to-be-a-purse, and she finally returns to the conversation triumphantly with her wallet. She opens it up and points to the seven different credit cards inside of it. "All of my coloniser family, actually." The smile she gives him is a little sharp, the flick of her tongue not remotely doing anything to soften the look.

What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?: This is where Beth shows her weirdness because nothing she produces is technically Valentines related. Not a single heart, no shade of pink or red or white. Instead she hands him a small wooden crate. Within is a master's collection: A blu ray copy of Possession from 1981. Near Dark, 1987. An uncut copy of Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive. Fright Night. Return of the Living Dead Collector's Edition. Dawn on the Dead, 1978. And the crowning jewel, a fully restored Vincent Prince's House on Haunted Hill, 1958. "I dunno if ya hip t' dis, but movie marathon?"

The baker adjusts his glasses, clearing his throat as if he were a the most regal of judges. His eyes glance at his phone, taking note of the questions on their quiz.They already went over his answers and like a kid at Christmas, he was excited to hear her answers.

Chris nods in half agreement.

He knew her name liek the back of his hand. No, not just Beth. Or Eliziabeth Irene Riley.

Elikapeka Ailine Alohaekauneikahanuola'Ilikea'wahine Riley.

After all, he did spend hours practicing after school with Jess. Writing it over and over in a notebook until he finally got it right, 25 times phonetically and 25 times spelled correctly (though one could spot his early spelling mistakes).

Needless to say, Chris knew her name and age without having to ask. Hell, he could say it just as fast and easily as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

A slight red hue fills those chubby cheeks of his at her answer of cuddling and making out. One would think he would be used to her affections. Long before they started dating, Chris was often Beth's cuddlee. The Luna sleepovers usually ended with the younger siblings tangled up on each other's arms. If you asked Chris what he remembered the most about the first time Beth held him, he would tell you he remembers his heart sinking to his stomach when he saw Andy standing over them.

Thankfully, it just earned him a playful (albeit still painful punch to his arm.)

"Cuddlee is definitely the right word," Chris chuckles. "I definitely think you're a top tier cuddler. Olympic level if we're being honest."

Then that's when he hears her voice soften and that giggle that would always make that childhood stutter return as he if saw her for the first time. If there was one person who could tell you about his thing for sharp teeth, it was one Elizabeth Riley.

Afterall, she was the baker's first kiss...and bite.

"You might have some authority on that mi amor" he jokes with a bashful chuckle , "But I'm not gonna complain if I feel a little bite."

When it came to going out, Chris wasn't exaclty a social butterfly. Often more interested in the delicious meals and sweet treats around Arizona. Sometimes taking note but usually just enjoying the ambiance. Plus, he would always appreciate the sight of Beth in a nice dress. But as long as there was good food and even better company, Chris was happy.

"That sounds like a good compromise, as long as I get to try some good food and get to look those beautiful eyes I'm good."

The love of his life earns one of Chris's laughs when she mentions using her best feminine wiles. Beth could easily just smile his way, giving him the world's most complicated order. Best belive he'd find a way to fulfill that order.

"Honestly, you could give me the world's small peck on my cheek and I'd make you whatever you wanted from scratch."

The young Luna can't help but smile at her reference to the Dreamwork's classic, remembering their young days imitating the blonde and brunette duo. He straightens his glasses with a smile that grows at her pronounced love for his dark chocolate and sea-salt ganache recipe. It warmed his heart to know his recipes were appreciated outside the bakery.

Though his smile falters seeing that look. It was rare for one experience the wrath of Beth, thankfully Chris never pushed her to that point. He's only seen that look once before this and thank the Gods he was not the cause. Only the Admiral could get that kind of reaction out of such a kind soul.

He gives her a firm nod.

"I'll definitely make note of that."

Thankfully the mood is lightened with the next answer. A small select few know Chris that well. Beth. His sister. His tias. Can't forget Zora. It was rare for the baker to feel comfy with someone seeeing...all of him.

After all she saw him in a all phases of his life. Good. Bad. Sad. Weird.Just like he supported her, she had his b's even through his worst phases.

"Can't argue with you on that, although I will say betweent he two of us you're the softer one. Why do ya think I can't keep my hands off ya~"

He offers a wink.

A small chuckle soon follows once she mentions the Phoenix fire department charging her with arson if she has another fire incident. Some guys would go out of their way to poke fun at her about this. Even make a few snide comments. But not Chris. He's perfectly happy cooking their meals. What better way to express his love than in the kitchen.

Like she says, he could be a kitchen witch after all.

Soon that cat like tilt of his head follows seeing her thumb through her backpack as she discusses a few potential dates. A night at the Van Buren could be fun, especially if the coloniser side of the fam was paying for it. But then she reveals a wooden crate, further piqued his curiosity. When he goes through it's contents, those soft brown hues widen as that dorky grin spreads across his face.

"Whoa! No way! Thanks!"

He clears his throat, attempting to look as smooth as possible.

"I mean, this is pretty cool. I dont know where to start but I have a few ideas."

A small smile spreads his face.

"Would you be down to spend Valentines day doing a movie marathon? We could pick one of those fancy resteraunts in town and get take out and some wine. I'll even make some of those desserts you like."

He leans over to press a kiss against her cheek.

"I mean it's safe to say you're definitely my valentine. Honestly, even before we filled out this quiz, I was gonna ask if ya wanted to be my Valentine."

[ @brooklynislandgirl ]

[wildcatofgreen]

“Penny for your thoughts” Surge

Send “Penny for your thoughts” to find out what my muse really thinks of yours

"Yyyyup. Here's the complicated one.

"Look, lemme be clear--Surge is a great gal and she's a good friend. 'Lil misguided, needs a lotta help. An' I'm down 'ta give it to her, alright? If ya wanna know how I feel about her then that's that an' we can end it right there.

"But,

"Ever since she told me--er, not me, my ''cat'' I guess--about what happened to her... I jus' dunno how 'ta feel. I know Iun't like her like I do Lyli or Sony. There ain't nothin' there for that.

"But.

"She's got that same confidence Lyli does, knowin' what she is an' ain't afraid 'ta show it. She's got some'a her scars, she's got some'a her looks--the girl ain't gonna flick her hair at me any time soon but those damn eyes I swear I'm seein' Lyli all over again.

"Is that why I'm helpin' her so much? 'Cause'a Lyli? Would I even help if--

"Eh, no, I probably would.

"But still. Bein' aroun' her.

"I... I feel kinda... like the old times. Like it's just me an' Lyli again. Ain't got nobody else 'ta deal with. Nobody else 'ta mess with. From when we first got that treehouse, until I got this gem an' Sony showed up.

"She makes me feel how I did back then. When I ain't have all these stupid responsibilities and stress from stupid greedy mayors all on my back. When I could bother Lyli an' just shoot the shit with her. When we'd laugh an' play games an' watch shows an' cuddle jus' 'cause we loved each other, we wanted 'ta be aroun' each other. I feel so damn relaxed aroun' her--

"DAMN IT, I AIN'T HAVIN' ANOTHER AFFAIR, I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT.

"Iunno how else 'ta explain it. Me an' Lyli were in a pretty comfy spot for a bit there where we were the only people that mattered. Sure, we hugged and cuddled and were very touchy-feely with each other 'cause like, best friends, and also had this unrequited shit goin' on damn I wish one of us said somethin' sooner.

"But this ain't exactly that, either. I see Lyli in her, but the Lyli I'd call my best friend. Which is weird. Because I still have feelings for Lyli--that I have come to terms with. That's what's making it fuckin' weird for me 'ta pinpoint because I know for a fact when I see her face I don't wanna do any romance stuff. But.

"Man is it selfish 'ta say that I was really happy when she said she'd be movin' here? That my Ly--fuck, that Surge would be livin' here an' I could chill with her like every day? Dun't even need a momento, I can just drive to Cory's and chill with her and 'cause some fuckin' mischief. Be fuckin' bad, do fun stuff with her.

"I hate this. I'm gettin' Lyli vibes again from all my fuckin' words but I know in my heart that ain't what I'm feelin'. But am I deludin' myself in'ta thinkin' that? Or do I really think that? Iun't fuckin' know!!!

"Maybe I'm jus' bein' a baby an' I wanted more friends. More people that are like, tangible. Not somethin' I gotta keep teleportin' back an' forth for.

"Maybe I saw another destroyed person, an' I wanted 'ta help her as best as I could. I helped Lilac, every single day I helped that girl the best I could.

"Maybe I can help her too. That she's more than just Brevon's toy--DAMN IT I DID IT AGAIN.

"I'm done. Take my nonsense an' get out."

[mouse-fantoms]

The way I always thought of it and have a headcanon of is that by going off the name we can assume that this song “Reggie’s Jam” Reggie had a part in its creation. And because before Luke plays it he tells Reggie “I think I know something that will cheer you up” and he starts the beats of it and he looks to Alex like “hey come on I know you remember it” and then Alex joins him, I am lead to believe that this is a song Reggie came up with and that Luke remembers and he knows it was a song that makes them all feel good and has positive memories tied to it bc I believe 👀 this is the song that got Sunset Curve to be Sunset Curve.

Just going off of what we know about the three like they just give the impression that they’ve known each other for like years right, Bobby too. (Like I just imagine a lil Bobby, Luke, Alex and Reggie meeting in like elementary and like just being buds with each other) Like idk the group gives the vibe that like they’ve grown up with each other (which since Julie is in their life now they bring up embarrassing stories from the past about each other all the time bc hey it’s fair material to embarrass with).

I just picture the group like meeting in school (possibly music class) when they’re younger and you know as kids when you get asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” And the popular answers are like vet, singer, actor like I feel like our group when they were kids one of them Luke was like “I wanna be a musician!” And his friends being his friends were like “yeah me too! That sounds awesome!” And then one of them was like “we should start a band!” And that’s the start of “This Band is Back” like a variation of it

So I feel like lil pre-Sunset Curve had this like “childhood dream” of starting a band together and bc they’re growing up they kind of don’t really act on it actively but they still keep their musical interests in mind as they grown up.

Then it’s like one summer day (they’re about to going into high school around that age), they’re in the garage, this has started to became an occurrence bc of most of their home lives, they’re all just like slumped on the couch, there’s already some instruments in the garage bc it’s an interest of their’s. And I just picture they’ve talked about being in a band a few times recently but they haven’t acted on it too much and today Alex is feelin extra down bc his parents, Bobby is down too bc of his family issues and Reggie too bc of his parents and Luke is sad for his friends bc like he doesn’t really know how to help them.

As Reggie is there, slumped on the couch with them all, he sees the drums, the guitar, his bass and then Bobby’s rhythm guitar all on their stands. And Reggie being Reggie he’d see the bored and broken faces of them and he wants to do something about it.

The three hear a faint beat on the table from Reggie as he’s drumming with his fingers (their attention is immediately caught bc it’s a tune they’ve heard/made before suddenly being played) and Alex looks at him like “hey man that’s my thing” and Reggie still keeping beat goes “Come on, Alexander one, two, three, four can you hear me?”

And Luke answers “Loud and clear” on beat bc he sees what Reggie is doing

“Gotta get, gotta get ready” Reggie sings as Bobby answers with “cause it’s been years” and as the three sing the “oh,” Alex joins in with the “This band is back” since he is now onboard and it’s just the four of them singing this song that they made when they were kids bc of this “silly little childhood dream” of starting a band and I think after that moment, bc they need something to distract themselves from their home lives and just be passionate bout they start the band and become Sunset Curve after that point.

Basically I just think “This Band is Back” is a silly fun time song that holds a special place in their heart and that they sing from time to time bc it marked the start of Sunset Curve for them

i feel like we don't talk about 'this band is back (Reggie's Jam)' enough.

how did it come about. was it a song they already had written, if so why. like, before they died they were at the 'peak of their careers'; why would they write a song about 'coming/being back' when they were still at the top.

this leads to my headcanon/theory:

they literally made it up on the spot. like they telepathically communicated the whole thing. because they were so in-tune with each other when they were alive that they could do that. it's why Luke looks to Alex and Reggie as much as he does. he's wanting to make sure they're picking up what he's putting down. i mean their instruments were so intrinsically part of them they could be summoned at will. so it stands to reason that they could do this with their thoughts/selves too.

the fact that it's parenthetically called 'Reggie's Jam' will always get me feeling some kind of way.

[skarsgard-daydreams]

Schadenfreude

Description: In a game of cat and mouse, Merkel loves to make you his prey.

Warnings: bondage, spanking, smut, 18+

Notes: In case it needs to be said, this story takes place in the context of plenty of conversations about consent between participants.

Merkel doesn't even have to fuck you to get you off. All he has to do is tell you to strip in that hard voice, letting his accent come through harsher than normal because he knows it puts you in the right headspace. He'll take his time tying you up, dragging the ropes over your body slowly, letting you feel every inch of them as they begin to restrain your limbs, leaving you completely at his mercy.

His coup de grâce is a hook on the ceiling. You never know if he'll anchor your wrists to it, forcing you to stand on the balls of your feet and showing off your legs, or if he'll use it to raise one leg into the air in an elegant arabesque with your arousal on full display for him to see while you balance on the toes of one foot. When he's certain his prey is fully trapped, he'll step back and light a cigarette, admiring his work.

"Can you feel your fingers and toes?" he asks. You’re standing flat on one foot now, with your arms folded neatly behind you and your left leg suspended in midair. It’s not particularly uncomfortable yet, and that’s what concerns you. Any sudden shift in his mood could compel him to adjust one of your lashings and flip you upside down, or send you flying.

"Yes, Herr Merkel," you breathe.

You can feel everything—the taut ropes smarting across your skin and resisting any attempt to reposition yourself, the radiant heat of his body standing mere inches from yours and yet completely out of reach, the little knot of desperation somewhere deep inside your belly pulling tighter and tighter.

"Good," he says, his heavy footfalls circling around you as he checks various places to make sure his rope work is secure and not applying too much strain. He knows that real torture inflicts lasting damage, and that’s not what he’s set out to do. As he checks you over, he touches you as little as possible. He's content to experience you with his eyes only for now, letting you feel more touch-starved and exposed by the second. You'll be more responsive when he does touch you, maybe with a riding crop or his open palm, or maybe just with his sinful lips and that wicked tongue. The anticipation of the unknown is half the game.

Merkel snuffs out his cigarette somewhere behind you. You hear him gathering another length of rope in his hands and your heart begins to race as you wonder what he'll do. He doesn't say anything. He knows there is power in silence, that the mind will go to elaborate lengths to fill it in if given the chance, imagining countless scenarios for how the night could unfold. He lets your mind wander, preparing the rope. You want to beg him to touch you, but you don't dare say a word without his permission, knowing if you do he might decide not to play with you at all. He might just leave you there as his own personal art installation while he spends the evening reading a book and watching you out of the corner of his eye until he finally lowers you to your knees and reminds you that your mouth, like the rest of your body on nights like this, belongs to him. He's done it before.

Suddenly you feel his breath between your shoulders, and it makes you shiver. He secures the new rope to the column tied around your waist. He threads the rope between your legs, pulling it tight against your cunt, and that's when you realize how devious he really is. There is a hard knot in the rope that presses against your clit as he continues working, massaging the sensitive bundle of nerves every time the rope shifts even slightly. Even though the material is rough, the pressure makes you throb with the desire for more. An involuntary gasp escapes your lips and Merkel slaps your ass in warning, the harsh sound reverberating in the quiet room. But even the slap causes the knot to move, a fact which you are finding impossible to ignore.

Merkel secures the final rope through the hook on the ceiling and makes several adjustments. Your left leg is still arched behind you, but he pulls on one more rope, tipping you onto your toes as the knot grinds mercilessly against your clit. You squeeze your eyes shut and force yourself not to make a sound. Merkel loves to watch you struggle to obey him—your noble submission, he calls it. He's always testing the limits of it, and you think he might break you tonight. You know you can’t stay in that stress position for long, but if you try to relieve the pressure on your toes you’ll only transfer it to your center, priming you for release. It could tip you over the edge, and the consequence for coming without permission is far worse than speaking out of turn.

You’re recognizing your predicament when Merkel crooks his finger under your chin, lifting your face up to look at him. He watches you like a cat, a devilish smirk playing at his lips. He always has so much fun when you give yourself over to him like this, and even though he’s ruthless, you can still see the affection in his eyes, because this is a game he plays only with you.

"Don’t go anywhere, Mausi," he teases.

@loomiz @stevesharrlngtons @ladadada-da @skrsgardspam @scxrsgxrd @grandpa-sweaters