#since we all know her relationship with the rest of the fam.

[girlcrushau]

[shiplessoceans]

I was baffled by this plot direction with Eddie same as you fam...

But I'm also SO intrigued.

Remember how this season started? WIth Christopher two-timing girls from school and Eddie being like "Oh no who did he get this from?"

Chris is emulating his father.

He got this from Eddie.

Not because he thinks his dad is a cheater, but because Eddie has set an example of how relationships with women work.

In Christophers early childhood his dad was always away and his mum was sad and struggling to cope. Then his dad returned and his mum suddenly left. Then his dad brings his mum back as a Christmas gift and bam, suddenly they're a family now. Not a family again, because they never been a family unit before. Everything should be perfect and yet something still feels off.

We know that while Eddie is ready to settle into married life, Shannon is not.

I personally think that when Shannon turned Eddie down, she did it because she knows that if not for Christopher being born, her and Eddie would never have stayed together. That while they love each other and Chris, they were never IN love and she wanted them both to have a chance at happiness.

Actually, come to think of it.... Holy shit... I don't think Eddie has ever BEEN in love.

Not that we've seen anyway!

He married Shannon because she got pregnant and every relationship he's had since then has been an exercise in Eddie trying to cram a new woman into his life and make her fit, only to panic, retreat or self sabotage when she doesn't. Or worse, when she DOES fit and he realises he doesn't love her.

Christopher has grown up and been there for all of this, and it's informing how he handles relationships with girls. As though they are interchangeable. As a means to fit someone into your life and make them your partner rather than find someone you actually like and who makes you happy.

I don't think this it's a coincidence we are where we are now at this point in the show. We've been building to this all season and it needs to happen because otherwise Eddie is going to keep repeating the same pattern over and over and over again for the rest of his life.

Going for 'safe' people he feels like will fill a hole in his heart while never allowing himself to fall in love so that he can never be hurt when they leave or he loses them.

He doesn't love Marisol. He wasn't in love with any of them. I think he loved Shannon but mostly because she was the mother of his child.

Eddie cheating is just another way this cycle is manifesting itself and once again he's going for a woman not because he's interested in who she is or getting to know her...but because she looks like Shannon.

Thinking maybe he can fix the mistakes of the past and be a different version of himself. This version of Shannon won't leave him and he won't abandon her. This one will stick around and yeah he won't love her but it will fix everything and they'll be a family right?

Eddie may not even be consciously aware that he's doing this.

Eddie needs to blow his life up and break this cycle.

Buck was a sex addict because he couldn't deal with his own self worth issues.

Eddie is a serial monogamist who can't let himself fall in love with anyone for fear of being hurt.

Interesting how their arcs mirror each other huh?

[mikewheelerfan2022]

My thoughts on Chaos Theory Season 2

Major spoilers for the season below!

If I had to use one word to describe this season, it would probably be disappointment. Season 1 was genuinely one of my favorite seasons of television ever. I loved the dark tone it set. Then this season went and ruined that. It felt a lot more like Season 1 or 2 of Camp Cretaceous in tone than Chaos Theory. Which was definitely a let-down. In addition, it really felt like the events of this season could have been confined down into a few episodes. The content with Brooklynn was quite interesting and engaging, but all the parts with the Camp Fan in Africa were really dragged out. Essentially half of the season was just them on a river. Where are the stakes? Where’s the interesting content Season 1 set up?

But, putting all that aside, there are some genuinely enjoyable elements in the season. Of course, the standout was the episodes where we followed Brooklynn. I loved seeing what happened to her after the Allosaurus attack. It’s definitely interesting to find out that her arm was injured by a raptor, not the Allosaurus. That definitely makes more sense. The Allosaurus’s jaws would have killed her, not just ripped off her arm. It was also nice to find out who The Broker is. I think a lot of people predicted Santos, so I wasn’t too surprised. I honestly had forgotten who she was, though…Dominion definitely didn’t cause her to leave much of an impression. But I quite liked her in Chaos Theory.

What they’re setting up with the conflict between Brooklynn and the rest of the Camp Fam is great. This season really did feel like it was setting up a much bigger and more interesting plot later, which caused this content to feel kind of empty. But oh well. Seeing Brooklynn as an anti-hero is so fun. And of course the Camp Fam doesn’t know that, they genuinely think she’s working with the Broker. That’s great. I do love a great misunderstanding. I also want to see the consequences of Ben lying. It might be that the others never fully trust him again, or at least for a while. I wonder if they’ll have a plotline where Ben learns something important but the others don’t fully trust him or something like that. That would be really interesting.

One of the best and most intriguing parts of the season was Kenji. Chaos Theory Season 1 managed to move Kenji from my least favorite of the Camp Fam to my favorite. And Season 2 continues his great characterization. Specifically, the impacts of his father’s death. Because it genuinely seems like Kenji is suicidal. If not actively so, at least he has a great disregard for staying alive. Kenji was constantly putting himself into danger and being incredibly reckless during this season. Running into fire, jumping off the boat, putting his hand into the mouth of a hippo, trying to fight dinosaurs, and much more. He’s actively and purposely putting himself into danger when he really doesn’t need to. It’s clear he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. And that conversation he had with Ben definitely raised alarms. I can’t remember his exact words, but he said something like “If somebody else close to me dies, I won’t be able to take it anymore.” That’s definitely a very suicidal statement. Now, of course this is a kids show. So I have no clue where they’re taking this or if they’ll even address it. But I’m excited to see.

Moving on to a lighter topic, let’s discuss ships! Yasammy is still going strong, and I love to see it. We never get enough lesbian relationships in media. As for Benji, which I also ship, we’re at least getting some crumbs. I have no expectations that this ship will ever become canon, but a girl can hope. And even just getting crumbs makes me happy. But that brings us to Dinostar, my absolutely favorite ship. I’ve shipped Brooklynn and Darius essentially since Camp Cretaceous Season 1. I always hated Brooklynn and Kenji, as it felt unnecessary and like it came out of nowhere. I was practically giddy when we found out Darius was in love with Brooklynn in Chaos Theory Season 1. At that time, it sounded like Darius had purposely confessed and Brooklynn had declined. Now we know that the confession was an accident, and Brooklynn’s denial wasn’t as clear cut as we thought. She just said she wasn’t ready, and wasn’t able to get any other words in before Darius left in a panic. Does this mean Dinostar will get together? Who knows. But I have hope.

Overall, this season wasn’t as good as I hoped or expected. But I still enjoyed it. And what it’s setting up for future seasons is definitely great. I think this season was clearly meant to be filler, and that’s okay. I trust that the writers will deliver us a great Season 3, and more seasons after that. But all of this is just my two cents. Thanks for reading.

[hugmekenobi]

S2: The Bad Batch (3)

Chapter Three: Undercover

Gif by @kamino-coruscant

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Some time has passed since everything that happened at Kamino and you and the Batch are trying to figure out your place in the rapidly changing Imperial galaxy. And you're having to do all this whilst figuring out where your relationship with Hunter fits into it.

Chapter Summary: A mission assigned to you by Cid sees you and Hunter make some grounds in your relationship.

Masterlist for S1

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Not a Crosshair episode (his later episodes will be covered though)! No show plot here, Cid being Cid, bad flirting/flirting to manipulate, having to deal with unwanted advances, mentions of drinking, swearing, suggestive dialogue, semi-public moment of PDA (kissing in an alleyway), mild panic attack description, unwelcomed pet names, welcomed pet names (honey), protectiveness from both these two, doubts and insecurities coming to the surface, Hunter gets a bit carried away (but is a respectful king and stops), angst, fluff and feelings, hurt/comfort, implied mention of Hunter's advanced senses, SMUT (heavy kissing, biting/marking, non explicit descriptions of handjobs and unprotected PinV (be safe in reality please), mentions of oral (f) receiving and fingering, teasing, Hunter doesn't know how to be vulnerable but reader takes care of him this time round, body and general worship)

Word Count: 6.9K

Author's notes: Okay it's here! Apologies for how long it took, I really did struggle with this one but I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you @keep-calm-and-drink-caf cause your advice was very helpful! And thank everyone for your patience! I am on holiday with the fam so Ch4 may be a bit of a longer wait to but I will try to find some sneaky writing time lol

Things were peaceful in Cid’s parlour. Cid had reluctantly let you guys have fewer missions since Tech was out of commission, but you could tell she was waiting for the day he made a full recovery, a day that Tech had assured the rest of you would be very soon. Echo and Wrecker were at the bar and your head rested on Hunter’s shoulder- a more comfortable feat since his armour was off- and the two of you watched Omega and Tech play a game of Dejarik. The peace was soon broken though by a recognisable voice.

“I got it!” Lyra announced as she came through the door, case in hand.

You lifted your head and looked quizzically over at her. “Got what? What are you doing here, Lyra? Not that I’m not happy to see you but…”

Lyra stopped short. “Cid didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Oh uh… I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

“Your next mission. I’m tired of you lot just lazing around here. Time you made some cash.”

You all turned to face Cid as she came back into the main parlour from her office.

“Tech’s not-” Hunter started to say.

“He’s not essential. I’ve found a mission he can help with from here. It just relies on her.” Cid interrupted and she pointed at you.

“Me?” You replied, crossing your arms.

“I can come back…” Lyra said uneasily.

“No, we need that. I didn’t pay you for a social visit.” Cid said sharply.

Lyra walked over to you and handed you the case, an apologetic smile on her face.  

You opened the case and stared at the bundle of fabric, shoes, and jewellery with suspicion.  “What exactly am I supposed to be doing?” You lifted the dress out and your eyes widened.

“Cid, what is this mission?” Hunter asked warily.

“My client needs some intel on the… business activities of a man on the other side of the city. He’s having a party tonight and you’re the way in.” Cid said to you before she addressed the others. “You lot aren’t even needed. It’s easy money.”

“No.” Hunter replied instantly.

“Yeah, sorry, not really sold on that.” You said as you pushed the case away. “My social skills in that department aren’t exactly well developed.”

Cid just rolled her eyes. “All you need to do it get his attention and download his records. Clearly, you got some skill in that area.” She added snidely as she looked from you to Hunter.

You glared at her.

Cid raised her hands to pacify you. “Look, you got the gear right here and there are easy credits to be taken. Goggles can give you something, so he doesn’t even need to go. Right?” She directed her question to Tech.

“Technically… yes.” He replied reluctantly. He knew you well enough to tell you weren’t thrilled with the idea and the look on Hunter’s face also told him that he wasn’t either.

“Come on. I’d owe ya.” Cid pleaded. “You’d be doing us all a solid.”

You sighed heavily and ignored Hunter’s head shake. “Alright. Fine. Lyra, care to help me out with this get up?”

“You got it!” Lyra took the case from you and the two of you went into the back to change.

--

You shed your limited armour and got to work.

“I really am sorry about this. Cid just told me she needed you to look the part, she never mentioned the fact you didn’t know. I shouldn’t have assumed you did.” Lyra said as she kept her back turned.

“It’s classic Cid. She only told you what she deemed to be the necessary information. That often turns out to be manipulated truth or the bare minimum so don’t worry about it.” You appeased. You finished pulling on the dress. You glanced down and analysed your appearance. “Fuck me, Lyra. Exactly what part am I supposed to be playing?”

Lyra turned around and took you in. The floor length dark red fabric suited and fitted you perfectly and the slit was just high enough to grab attention but keep room for eager discovery.  “Okay, I know there was a bit of misinformation but damn I’m good at my job.”

“I want to catch his eye, not an STD.” You adjusted the straps self-consciously. It was a far cry from Jedi robes or civilian clothes and armour. You had seen the get up senators would don, and you were sure even they wouldn't go for something this bold.

“Well, I should hope actually sleeping with him is off the table. Plus, looking good isn’t an open invitation.”

You heaved an irritated sigh. “I know that and of course sleeping with him isn’t going to happen, but that’s not the point. No doesn’t always mean no to some people.” You said gravely as you passed her the necklace.

“It’s a good thing you know a thing or two about fighting then.” Lyra provided by way of comfort as she clasped it. “Plus, there’s no way your man is going to let anything happen to you if it gets bad.”

Her words, in a strange way, did reassure you. You knew you could handle yourself, regardless of the situation and yes, there would be no way Hunter would let you go it alone on this sort of mission, but you hadn’t realised that would be such an obvious conclusion for an outsider. “What makes you think he’s coming with me?”

Lyra just paused what she was doing and gave you a look that screamed ‘seriously?’

You half smiled. You figured the two of you weren’t as subtle as you thought when you were in the more public domain. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“You look the part. Embrace the role and you’ll be just fine.”

“This just isn’t something I’m used to.” You mumbled as you continued to fiddle with the fabric.

“Didn’t you ever have to attend any balls or play dress up as a kid?” She asked as she batted your hands away.

“It was never on the cards for me.” You muttered. You still hadn’t told her the full extent of your past and you intended to keep it that way. For her sake more than anything.

“Hmm well that’s unfortunate cause you’d fit right in. Final touch.” Lyra added as she handed you a small bag. She looked you up and down. “Anyone who doesn’t do a double take when they see you is an idiot. This is going to be your easiest mission yet.”

“I can only hope.” You muttered as you made your way back out.

“Your sergeant is going to struggle to control himself.” Lyra teased as she followed you.

“Shut up.”

--

“Oh wow! You look really pretty!” Omega exclaimed as she tore her gaze away from the Dejarik board.

Hunter, who had replaced Tech for the next match, turned around at her words and he practically gulped. Pretty was an understatement. You damn near took his breath away and he couldn’t find the words to express how beautiful you looked.

Wrecker sent a playful wolf whistle in your direction, giving you an encouraging smile and thumbs up as you looked over at him.

Echo nodded his head in casual agreement at the sentiments expressed already.

“Thank you.” You said, a tad bashfully before you wandered over to where Tech was sitting. “What do you have for me, Tech?”

“Here.” Tech said, not looking up from his datapad as he handed you the drive.

“Thanks.” You walked back over to stand by Lyra.

“What do ya think Sergeant?” Lyra called over to Hunter.

You’d been avoiding his stare for a reason but now you couldn’t help but look over to him as you heard Lyra address him. Your breath caught in your throat as you saw the way Hunter was staring at you and suddenly this mission seemed very low on the priority list and finding a private space became your brain’s main focus.

Hunter cleared his throat. “You’re perfect.” The quiet awe infused utterance was all he could manage because anything else would be inappropriate for general audiences.

“Told you.” Lyra whispered as she nudged your arm. The guy was staring at you like he was willing to get on his knees and worship you the second you gave the word.

You were too entranced by his gaze to pay her words any real attention.

“Good luck.” Lyra said as a farewell.

“Thanks for your help, Lyra.” You said distantly as you registered her leave your side, but your eyes never left Hunter’s.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re wearing a dress, big whoop. Can we get to the important part?” Cid said impatiently before she brought up a hologram.

Cid’s bluntness gave you the required shock you needed to focus on the task at hand. “Who’s the target?” You asked as you crossed your arms and stared at the image of the man.

“His name is Taryn Franco. He’s in the spice smuggling business and is doing remarkably well despite the Imperial presence in the regular smuggling channels. Your job is to find out how he’s manging to do so well.” Cid directed as she brought up a map of the location.

“You want me to get his shipping routes?” You clarified as you studied the map. It really couldn’t be that simple. 

“Yup. Told you it was an easy job.”

“I’m waiting for the catch.”

“The catch is you gotta make him notice you, other than that, the only thing you need to do is a bit of downloading.”

“Once you get a visual on the records, insert that drive and you’ll have the necessary information in two minutes.” Tech added.

“Got it.” You replied as you slipped the datastick into your bag. “How are we getting in? I’m assuming we’re not on the guest list.”

“You’ll have to figure that one out.” Cid said frankly.

You huffed out an irritated sigh. “An easy job would mean we had a way in in the first place.” You griped.

“Be resourceful, it’s not my problem. You better get going.” Cid said dismissively.

“Be safe!” Omega said as she gave you a hug goodbye.

Tech, Echo, and Wrecker waved you off, echoing Lyra’s message of good luck.

You didn’t even need to ask him. As soon as you walked away from Cid, Hunter stood up and followed you out the door and together the two of you made your way to the Marauder, the tension between you palpable and ready to snap at any moment. You just needed to keep it together for a little while longer.

--

“We can pretend I’m your guard as you look for the target. That way I can keep a look out.” Hunter said as you both walked down the ramp of the ship and moved towards the building all lit up and the one that had music blaring from the door and windows.

You grabbed his wrist and tugged him into a nearby alley. “You can’t come in with me.”

“Why not?” Hunter asked with a frown.

“Because the way you’re looking at me right now is making me want to ditch this whole thing and go back to the ship.” You said as you let out a shaky breath.

Hunter really didn’t see the issue with that. He knew you both weren’t enthusiastic about this. “Let’s go then.” He uttered as his hand traced the slit of your dress.

“Hunter.” You chastised as you pushed his hand away. You were having to use a considerable amount of self-restraint. It would be so easy to just blow this whole thing off and Hunter was making it a very tempting idea. He somehow looked even better without his armour on tonight. “Cid’ll kill us, and we need the money. I’ll be quick. In and out, there won’t be trouble but if you enter with me, that’ll make my job ten times harder because it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out our feelings towards each other.”

Hunter nodded in tentative agreement. He knew he would struggle to see you in this environment, and he knew you were right, but he wasn’t going to let you go it alone. He’d go insane. “Okay, I’ll leave you to it, but I’ll come in after you and keep my distance. You need someone to watch your back. ‘No trouble’ isn’t exactly how our missions tend to go.” He offered as a compromise.

“Fine.” You agreed. “I’ll deal with the bouncer to get us in, so we better get moving. Sooner we’re in, the sooner we can leave. And then we can have some time to ourselves.” You added with a sly grin as you nudged past him.

Hunter caught the top of your arm. “If you take less than 30 minutes, I’ll finally let you use the scarf.” He whispered, his lips ghosting behind the shell of your ear.

The tension chord had well and truly snapped. You released a heavy breath. You don’t play fair. With that, you turned your head and kissed him, and you both groaned in relief.

Hunter was quick to assert his dominance as he pushed you against the wall, his hand coming to rest behind your head so as to protect it before he moved it to your waist. Your appreciative moan only helped him deepen the kiss.  

The kiss was desperate, each of you hungry for more but you both were just about resisting the urge to give into what your bodies really wanted to do but the longer the two of you kissed, the harder it got to defy.

It was your hands that betrayed you first. Yours had started to wander down Hunter’s chest whilst the other tangled itself in his hair. His had stayed on your waist and the other had slipped under the fabric and had started to caress the inside of your thigh and was steadily moving upward. So, you really had to pull back before you did get too carried away.

You both let out disgruntled sighs as you broke the kiss first.

“I am going to get that information so fast.” You replied breathlessly as Hunter let you go. You knew that moment was a bad idea as it only served to rile you up more, but you really couldn’t help yourself. You smoothed your dress down to regain your composure.

Hunter focused on getting his breathing under control. “Be careful. I’ll see you in there.”

--

“Invitation?” The bouncer asked as he held his hand out as you approached.

You channelled the Force and covertly waved your hand. “You don’t need to see my invitation.”

“I don’t need to see your invitation.” He replied, his voice distant.

“Me and the man that’ll come after me can enter without one.”

“You and the man that’ll come after you can enter without one.” He replied faintly.

You opened the door. You’re good to go, Sarge. With that, you stepped inside where the sound of music and people’s voices talking over it greeted you.

Hunter made to move once he got confirmation from you that he was in the clear.

“Have a good evening, sir.” The guard said with a nod.

Hunter didn’t reply, he just wandered in and set about finding you.

--

Maker it was loud in here. And hot. And it reeked of sweat. Hunter thought as he pushed his way past people in his search for you. He was very uncomfortable, everything was too loud, including his own heartbeat, and he knew his breathing was growing unsteady. He found a slightly quieter corner and he took some calming breaths as he scanned the area for you.

--

It hadn’t taken you long to find to find your host. He was at the bar eye-fucking anyone that walked past. Before you could make your move, you sensed Hunter’s Force signature, but it was filled with stress and anxiety. You projected your own calm onto him. Honey, listen to me. I know it’s loud and I know it’s crowded but focus on your breathing, focus on my voice. Breathe in and count to 5 and breath out and count to 5. We’ll be out of here soon. If you need to leave, you can, I’ll find you when I’m done. You had to fight the urge to go find him and you wished with all your heart that you could comfort him properly, but this was the best you could manage.

You made yourself focus on the job at hand and swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise in your throat at the thought of having to interact with Taryn, but you knew it needed to be done. You straightened your back and channelled an alternate version of yourself that would be able to succeed at this.

You slid into the space next to Taryn and pretended to analyse the choices behind the bar. When you felt his eyes on you, you turned to face him. “So many choices, care to help a girl out? You look like a man who knows a good drink.” You simpered.

Taryn looked you up and down and he liked what he saw. “You got a good eye, doll. Stick with me tonight and I’ll make sure you get only the best. Both in drink, and in company.”

The look he’d given you was the same one he’d been giving everyone else tonight and you very nearly left right then and there but you needed the credits. You forced yourself to lay a hand on his arm. “How could I refuse such an offer?”

He shouted an order over to the droid behind the bar. He handed you a drink and held his own glass up and took a hold of your hip and tugged you closer to him. “Cheers, baby.”

Biting back your grimace, you gave him a fake smile and clinked your glass with his. This would definitely be unpleasant, but it would be very easy to get what you wanted.

--

Hunter released a deep breath. Your words had helped him calm down and he was ready to wait it out but now he was having to keep it together for different reasons. He had spotted you at the bar and had to witness Taryn’s hand crawling all over your thigh, squeezing it and tracing a path from your knee right up the slit of the dress and Hunter knew you and your body well enough to tell that, despite your apparent enthusiasm, you were hating every touch. He only hoped you didn’t have to put up with it for much longer. In addition to this, Taryn kept having people come over to talk to him and each one gave you an admiring stare and would start chatting to you too and you made talking to them look so easy. If he didn’t know you as well as he did, he would’ve assumed you were a regular here.

--

All the interruptions had been driving you crazy. You needed to get this done before someone else came over and you had to feign interest in their seedy business activities and entertain their creepy flirtations. You waved off the newest arrival before you turned your attention back to Taryn. “So, I keep hearing from you and all these people about how well you’re doing, and I must say it’s very impressive. From what I’ve heard, the Empire has been making people’s operations quite difficult. How are you managing to avoid them?” You asked, fake in your admiring tone.

“Well, when you know the right people and have a great business brain like mine, it’s very easy.” He boasted.

“Hmm handsome and smart. How’d I get so lucky?” You flirted.

“Wearing a dress like that certainly helps.”

You resisted the very strong urge to roll your eyes in disgust. “So, can I see how that business brain of yours operates? I’d sure love a peek of your records.”

Taryn shot you a quizzical look. “Why would you want to see my transactions?”

You had to think quickly so you went for the reason you figured would make him forget any lingering questions in his head. “It really gets me going.” You murmured in his ear whilst your hand toyed with the lapel of his jacket. You hated yourself for it, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade much longer.

“Say no more, babydoll.” He downed his drink and grabbed your hand and led you to his back office.

--

To say you were underwhelmed by what you saw would be an understatement. All he did was bribe certain Imperial officials and put his shipments out on the days they were on shift.

“How’s that for a turn on?” He said, mouthing at you neck whilst his hands started to pull your dress up.

You cringed away from his touch. “Before we do that, can you get me another drink?”

You saw the flash of annoyance on his face, and you figured he wasn’t used to people refusing his advances all that often, but you needed him out. “I’ll make it worth your while.” You murmured, batting your eyelashes.

Taryn practically sprinted out the room.

You wiped your neck in revulsion and got to work. “Great business brain my ass.” You said to yourself as you inserted the drive, and it began its download.

--

You managed to get out without being spotted by Taryn and you found Hunter in no time.

“You okay?” Hunter asked instantly, breathing in relief as he saw you in front of him once more.

“Feeling gross but I got the information and yeah, I’m okay. Are you?” You asked.

“He didn’t force-”

“No, I dealt with any attempt, and he didn’t get far.” You replied quickly, not wanting to even let his mind wander down that path. “Are you okay?” You asked again.

“Yeah, I got better after hearing you.”

“I’m sorry about this whole thing. I know it wasn’t easy on you.”

“Or you.” Hunter added. “You were put in an uncomfortable situation and did what you had to do. You were looking out for the squad by doing this. You don’t have to apologise for that. I’m just sorry this was the kinda job you were handed, it wasn’t fair.”

You gave him a grateful smile. “Wanna get out of here?”

Hunter nodded, but he wasn’t able to shake the voice in his head that was bringing up every illogical doubt as weaved his hand in yours and together, you snuck out the party and headed back to the ship.

--

You had scarcely boarded the Marauder when Hunter backed you into the wall of the hallway and began to kiss you. You dropped your bag that contained the stolen information and let out a surprised gasped which he used as a chance to intensify it. You were lightheaded when he pulled away, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover since he lifted your thigh and slotted himself in between your legs and started to kiss along your jaw and neck.

He breathed you in but the things that made you you weren’t there anymore. They were tainted with something wrong and unfamiliar, and he couldn’t stand it.

The way he nipped at your jaw and neck stung and his grip on you was sore and not the pleasurable kind. It told you there was more to this than simple possessiveness. Something was bothering him. The atmosphere between you now was different to how it was before you had entered the party. “Hunter, stop for a minute.” You said through a gasp as his fingers dug into your thigh in a way that was sure to leave bruises- and not the good kind- if he continued to do it.

Hunter stopped immediately and pulled away from you. Seeing the concern in your eyes snapped him out of whatever mood he was in. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” You reassured him quickly. “But what’s going on? That was… different. You don’t usually get like that.”

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry.” He went to step away from you.

You assumed things had gone too far with Taryn. You grabbed his hand and tugged him back towards you. “He wasn’t going to get far. He doesn’t even hold a candle to you. I didn’t mean the things I said to him. I don’t understand-”

“It wasn’t just him.” Hunter interrupted quietly as his hand fell to your waist.

“What are you talking about?” You asked softly, running your hand through the hair at the nape of his neck to comfort him.

“Everyone there was looking at you. Everyone. And you fit there. You looked like you belonged. Not with criminals.” He clarified hastily as he saw your brow furrow. “But with people that have something to offer that isn’t just scraping by from one job to the next. And I think it all got too much. You- You could have anyone you wanted. You could have a life for yourself and instead you chose this. You chose us. You chose me. I guess… I guess I just struggle sometimes believing you’re still here. But it’s nothing you’ve done; I just can’t get the voice in my head to shut up and it’s not your fault or your issue. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that.” He turned away from you.

Your heart went out to him. You knew it would have taken a lot for him to admit that. So often he was a sergeant first and person with real emotions second. He rarely let his guard down like this. Clearly, your conversation after the last mission didn’t soothe all the insecurities that had built. You knew Crosshair leaving would have left scars, but you didn’t think they ran this deep. You cupped the side of his face and caressed your thumb across his cheekbone. “Well, I’m glad I seem to possess such an acting talent because I was fighting every instinct to not show my disgust at the people there.” You said lightly before you continued in a more serious tone. “Hunter, I am with you 100%, I don’t even think about what my life would be like if I didn’t meet you guys or if I didn’t fall in love with you because it gets too upsetting.” You pulled him in for a hug and held him close. “People leaving doesn’t mean you failed or missed something, sometimes people make decisions that hurt but the great thing about choice is that it can also leave room for future change, you just have to be patient.” You soothed.

He knew what you were saying about yourself was true and he could only hope that what you were saying about his brother was also true. “I love you.” Hunter murmured into your neck. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I love you too and that’s not going to change.”

Hunter met your eyes once more.

You placed a delicate kiss on to his lips before you pulled away and rubbed your thumb tenderly across his jaw. “Now, to shut that voice up, here’s what we’re going to do.”

Hunter tilted his head at you.

“First, I’m going to take a shower which you are going to join me for.” You crooned as you pushed back part of the scarf and gently bit the skin by his pulse point and sucked a bruise into the skin.

Hunter stifled his groan but his hold on you tightened.

“Then...” You kissed along his jaw, pausing before you reached his lips. “I’m going to both show and tell you all the things that make me happy that I get to call you mine.” You whispered before you kissed him. It lasted for a few minutes before you broke away for air.

“Sounds good to me.” Hunter rasped as he got his breath back.

You smiled at him and began the process of undressing him, a task you took great pleasure and care in before you slipped off your dress and the two of you made your way to the refresher.

--

It wasn’t a completely innocent shower, he still had to work his emotions out, but he was back to his usual self in that regard, and it wasn’t lost on you that the marks he’d left on your thighs and neck were in the places that Taryn had touched you. When he’d used his mouth and his fingers to bring you that sweet release, not once but twice, you’d decided to wrap things up in there. You cleaned each other up and after you turned off the water, you grabbed his hand and led him out the refresher. You didn’t bother to dry off and neither did he. You tenderly pushed him down onto your bunk, so he was sitting but you made no move to follow just yet. Instead, you took him in, and the way he looked had you weak at the knees. Droplets of water were scattered across his tanned skin that were just begging to be kissed away, and his dark hair fell flawlessly around his face and the necklace you had given him sat just past his collarbone. “You’re the one who’s perfect.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Hunter swallowed heavily. “Well, genetics had a helping hand.” He kidded awkwardly as he felt himself growing warm under the intensity of your stare and your words didn’t help. In these particular situations, it was usually him who was the attention giver. This was a new, more vulnerable position for him to be in and it wasn’t one he was used to. But he trusted you and that’s what really mattered here. He reached for you.

Sensing some unease, you let him pull you onto his lap. Your hands found his shoulders whilst his cradled the side of your neck and your waist. You brought your lips, so they were mere inches from his. “Do you know you only have to walk into a room, and I’m left thinking when I’ll have the next chance to be alone with you?”

A low groan left Hunter’s throat and he made the decision to close the remaining distance between you.

Your hands moved to tangle themselves in his damp locks and your slick bodies and lips moved together in perfect sync, the passion and intensity between you never faltered. You only removed yourself to get air, but you didn’t leave him wanting. You pulled on his hair slightly, so his head fell back and more of his neck was exposed to you.

“You did take less than 30 minutes today…” Hunter managed to choke out as you licked away the water on the side of his neck and nipped at the skin.

You smirked to yourself and trailed your lips softly across his collarbone. “Someone’s eager. I’m reserving that for a later date. I told you; we’re doing things differently tonight.” With that, you nudged him to lie on his back and you reached your hand between you. Your mouth hovered above his and you savoured the short, sharp breaths that left him at your ministrations. Focus on my voice. Focus on my touch. Nothing else matters. It’s just you and me. You need me to stop, tell me and I will, okay?

Hunter nodded.

So as things weren’t going to be over before you had said all you needed to, you were ensuring that your movements were enough to satisfy any longing he was experiencing, but it wasn’t enough to fully satisfy him yet. His mildly frustrated grunts and the way his hips were trying to buck into your touch told you though that he wasn’t quite getting the patience memo yet. You pressed your mouth against his. “Ssshh.” You ordered softly. “I got you.”

Hunter looked into your eyes, and he saw something in them that he knew was reflected in his every time he looked at you. The loving way you were looking at him had something so pure and unfiltered behind it. He took a deep breath and relaxed under your touch.

When you felt the tension leave his body, you began. You kissed his untattooed cheek and kept your voice low but there was no hiding the sincere way you spoke to him now. “I love how you look out for us and how protective you are.”

You nudged his nose with yours and kissed the bridge of it. “I love how kind and caring you are.”

“I love how you are with Omega.” You kissed his other cheek.

“I love when you let yourself be vulnerable and that wall comes down.” You kissed behind his ear.

“I love watching you track. I love how you capable you are.” You kissed right by his hairline.

“Your hair not only looks beautiful on you, but I love how you let me pull on it when you’re making me see stars and I need to be grounded.” You didn’t miss the deep groan that left him when you used your free hand to tug on it so you could leave more marks on the other side of his neck that had been without your attention since this had started.

You found his mouth once more and kissed him deeply, lovingly. I love that you know what to say to reassure me. You continued to kiss him, upping the intensity as you did so. An act you knew he appreciated due to the way he cradled the side of your jaw. You let him have a moment of control as he licked into your mouth, drawing a small moan from you. Plus, you know exactly how to drive me wild. You included and you grinned against his mouth as you pulled away slightly to allow you both to breathe. You started to pay his jawbone some care. You laid soft kisses along it.

Slowly but surely, Hunter was starting to forget the outside world for a while. You were being so affectionate and loving and he found himself believing all you were saying. That usual voice that would tell him he was failing, or he was losing you was starting to fade into the background. He caressed your sides and continued to do what you had said at the beginning. You were what he was focusing on now.

You started to kiss your way down his chest, gently biting and sucking the skin and your hand skimmed over the necklace that sat there perfectly. I love how good this looks on you and it means so much to me that you wear it and I love you for it.

Your hand trailed up and down his arm. “I love how secure I feel in these arms when they hold me. Or when you show off how strong you are.” You added playfully before you brought his hand to your mouth and traced your mouth across his wrist before you kissed his palm. “I love how these hands play with a vibroblade. And how talented they are in… other areas.” You teased and you increased the pace of the hand that was between you, relishing in the pleasurable sigh that left Hunter’s mouth.

Hunter knew he was reaching that point of blissful ecstasy. You had driven him crazy but in the best possible way, however, this wasn’t how he wanted things to end. “W-wait.” Hunter said hastily as he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

You tilted your head at him.

“I need-” He swallowed thickly. “I need to feel you.”

You gave him a warm smile and brought your mouth against his. “And what exactly do you want to feel?” You murmured against his lips.

You left him chasing your mouth and instead took his hand once more and brought his finger to your mouth and sucked, emitting a seductive moan as you did so, and your teeth grazed the tip of his finger. “Do you want my mouth?”

“Shit.” Hunter gasped.

“Or is there something else…” You trailed off and ground against him.

A strangled groan left Hunter’s mouth. “Pl-please.” He rasped.

“Please what, Sergeant?” You said alluringly, not letting up on the slow, steady grind of your hips. You kissed him and tugged his bottom lip between your teeth.

“Fucking hell.” He said through clenched teeth, his head fell back down onto the pillow. “I need- I need to be inside you.” He said, knowing he somehow sounded shy, but he was so desperate for you that he didn’t care.

Finding his demeanour rather endearing and as a sign that you’d done your job, his mind didn’t seem as preoccupied anymore and having pushed him far enough and not really wanting to leave him wanting, you lifted your hips. You quieted his groans with your kiss as you started to move with both of your breathing quickly becoming irregular. Force you feel perfect.

Hunter couldn’t help the noises that were leaving him. You looked positively ethereal, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, and you felt incredible. Your words and comfort had helped to ground him, and he knew he was so lucky to have you. He drank in the pleasurable sighs that were coming from you and they were tipping him over that edge.

You had teased him long enough and you could tell he was close by the low moans that left his throat and the way his hold on your hips had tightened that but that wasn’t a problem. Your priority now was his pleasure. His release. And you did everything you could to get him there. You kissed him. You nibbled his earlobe and his pulse point. “I love you, Hunter.” You whispered breathlessly and then you felt him fall apart beneath you. You worked him through it, and it was only when he lightly tapped your hip that you stopped.

You planted light, sweet kisses along his neck and jaw and admired the many love bites you had left in your wake. Still with me, Sarge?

Hunter struggled to find any words. You had made him seen stars and he was still coming back down from the surreal experience you had just provided him, but he was aware enough to know you weren’t taken care of yet, something he was not used to. “You didn’t-”

You stroked the shorter strands on his hair back to silence him as you laid down next to him. “I did. Twice. Right in that shower if you remember. This was about you.”

Hunter let out a disgruntled grunt but accepted it as he kissed your brow. “I love you too.”

“How’s that voice?” You asked quietly as you tossed a leg over his hip so as to get even closer to him.

“What voice?” Hunter whispered in reply as he rested his head on top of yours.

You hummed out a laugh and closed your eyes.

In all the peace, you both had forgotten about the group of people waiting on your return. Your abandoned comms chirped and then Echo’s voice filled the empty space. “(Y/N), Hunter, it’s been a while. What’s your status?”

You and Hunter both groaned but smiled at each other as you sat up.

You reached down and grabbed your comm. “Sorry, Echo. Took a bit longer than expected. We got the data and we’re heading back now.”

“Copy that.” He signed off.

“Kinda forgot the whole point of why we were here in the first place.” Hunter said lightly as he kissed the top of your shoulder.

“I mean, that was the idea.” You said with a coy smile as you angled yourself to face him. “We better get going.” You kissed him quickly once more before you grabbed your dress and slipped it back on with Hunter following close behind.

“If you don’t want any brotherly teasing or awkwardness, you’re uh, going to need to wear this before we get back.” Hunter said apologetically as he examined the marks he’d left on your neck. He hadn’t been too careful about his placements this time around.

You tutted playfully at him as you took his scarf from him and wrapped it around you. “Better?”

 “You make anything look good.” Hunter said by way of reply.

You grinned at him. “Let’s this ship in the air.” You started to walk to the cockpit.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

You turned back around to face him.

“Thank you. For all of it. I- I try so hard to be in control and keep it together. It was nice to not be for a change.”

You made your way back towards him and wrapped your arms around him, sighing happily when he held you tightly against his chest.

“We’re getting the hang of this relationship thing.” You said jokingly before you angled yourself to look at him. “You can share the load, Hunter. You’re not alone.” You said, your tone more serious.

“I know.” Hunter agreed, really believing it this time.

--

As the ship made its way back, Hunter felt a true sense of calm that he hadn’t felt in a while. There would still be uncertainties and he still had his squad to look after but one thing was now certain in his mind: you were it for him. He could face the unpredictable galaxy and protect what he loved with you by his side. He wouldn’t let that doubt creep in and take over like that again. He had you. He had his squad. That wouldn’t change. It couldn’t change. He wouldn’t let it.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @tpwkcalli, @fuckoffthanos, @arctrooper69, @graciexmarvel, @flyingkangaroo, @nightmonkeysstuff, @brujaporfavor, @a-streakofazure, @ladytano420, @dragonrider9905, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx

[kaijunouhhhhhhhhhhummmm]

ramble: soshiro centered/ family drama/ hoshina estate 🏯

you’re in the third division of the defense force and on one fine day you, along with your ass kicking colleagues are given vacation time. you all cheer and can’t wait to get some much needed relaxation. but are amiss at what to do. some decide to go visit home, this leads Iharu to say;

‘you know who’s got some sweet digs? the vice captain.’

‘those are just rumors right?’ kafka chimes in. ‘Kikoru probably has a huge mansion!’

‘not really’ she says

‘i did hear his family has a huge inherited compound.’ says reno

‘they were legends! i mean still are for sure.’ iharu says

days go by and word gets to soshiro that everyone wants to know just what his childhood home looks like. and in a moment of shock to everyone he says ‘you all wanna see for yourselves?’ everyone is speechless. the vice captain is usually not one willing to let anyone into any personal part of his life. very uncharacteristic of him. everyone is enthusiastic about going of course. there is however a sort of silence surrounding soshiro as the days continue. he gives some details about his home but answers most questions with a version of ‘you’ll see for yourself’

shortly thereafter you’re all on a plane, a train and a bus to the hoshina compound. ‘look up.’ he says as the bus climes higher and higher up a winding road on a mountain side. you all do, rushing and shoving to one side of the bus. ‘no way’ ‘shit!’ ‘okay yeah i would’ve seen that from the bottom of the mountain’. everyone is aghast. the roof of a towering building appears over high walls.

you arrive at the main entrance gate followed by almost a hundred steps leading farther up. it appears more like a shrine than a home. hoshina tribe keeps its ancestors close. you all loathe climbing the steps with your luggage but can’t wait to get to the top. the climb is worth the reward. it’s large enough for soshiro to call parts of it the north, south, east and west wings. there is the main house and open walkways leading to the rest. you can’t see most of it from where you stand but it spans wider than you can make out anyways. there are apparently four gardens, three training areas, a hot spring farther out and deeper into the woods a trail leading to a forge.

his father greets everyone. he seems happy and relived to see his son again. soshiros expression is unmoving but he keeps his place as a respectful son. there’s a shift in how soshiro is seen by all in this moment. bowing deeply to his father. everyone does the same in thanks. captain ashiro was mindful to bring a gift. his father welcomes everyone and has a housekeeper show all of you to where you’ll be staying.

the stay is for the week and is mostly touring the land. beautiful forests, relaxing in the hot spring or even training for those that don’t want to fall off entirely. the compound is excellent for just that. you all hardly see soshiro. he joins the group on occasion but for the most part is off somewhere in estate. you all figure he’s got a lot of family affairs to attend to. when he is with you all he seems like he’s thinking about elsewhere. asks if everyone is comfortable, enjoying themselves, having fun but doesn’t seem to listen intently to the answer. you worry. somethings been off since he invited everyone.

‘yeah i don’t know how to feel about it. i was so excited about seeing the place i didn’t think too hard about why.’ kafka says when you mention it.

‘he doesn’t have the best relationship with his fam so i thought i was having a stroke when he asked if we wanted to come along’ iharu says. you are all in one of the gardens admiring the statues of defeated kaiju and their victorious warriors.

‘i’m sure he has his reasons. cmon we’ll be hiking a bit more today’ says mina. everyone acknowledges out of respect for her vice captain the conversation must end.

it’s the second to last day and kafka wants to get everyone together for a game and asks where soshiro is. you say you’ll look for him. you leave the play room out the sliding doors and walk in a general direction occasionally bowing to the housekeepers. there aren’t many. and as expansive as the compound is it doesn’t have quite enough help. you notice parts of it look worn down and unused. it’s still beautiful but nature has taken advantage of the areas that have long been left unattended to. wood splintering, moss growing on stilts and wood boards, climbing plants growing over walls and roofs, grasses and flowers between the gaps on the outdoor tile.

you hear voices and decide to turn in that direction. the voices grow louder not with proximity but in volume. you’re too close now. surely whoever is nearly yelling will hear your steps. you can hardly make out what’s being said but you freeze up at hearing soshiros voice rise in frustration. you’ve walked in on a very personal moment and want to leave but don’t know how to.

‘why did you come if not for that?’ you jump at the clear exclamation.

silence follows. your heart is pounding.

‘i was hoping-‘ you recognize soshiros voice. he cuts himself off.

you feel a tap on your shoulder. it makes you jump but the housekeeper that guided you to your rooms when you first arrived puts a finger up to her mouth signaling you to stay silent. she has a soft smile. her expression understanding what you heard but without a word asking you to be mindful. she gently reaches out for your hand and guides you away. her trained footsteps hardly make a sound. you turn back to the room you heard the argument from. you don’t hear yelling anymore.

she guides you to a small kitchen and gives you a tray of snacks. ‘here’ she says ‘for you and your friends’ you follow her silently to the game room. what you both heard hanging in the air. everyone is grateful for the food and you tell them you couldn’t find soshiro. you turn to the housekeeper and she bows before shutting the door and leaving.

the next day is much of the same. tomorrow morning you will all leave. you are on your way down stone steps to a wildflower garden when you see soshiro approaching.

‘vice captain. it’s good to see you’ you say. better to not mention what you heard.

he smiles. if you didn’t know any better you’d have no idea he just argued with his father yesterday. ‘hey there. i’ll be joining you all today. have you liked everything so far?’

youre response is cut off by a greeting ‘soshiro!’ you both turn to see soichiro approaching. you sense once again this is not your place. you’re about to say you’ll see him down in the garden but when you see his face you freeze. once again your stopped in place. his face is stone. his eyes are sharp and focused on his approaching sibling.

‘i didn’t know you’d be coming out. dad says you’ve been here for a week now with your division. hey there i’m soichiro nice to meet you!’ he greets you. you both bow.

‘you as well. you have a beautiful home.’ you say meaning it. again you turn to soshiro but his face hasn’t changed. ‘well then i’ll be going.’ you make your exit swift. as you pace down the steps you hear pieces of what would be a bad excuse for a conversation. soichiro asks questions. soshiro answers in curt one word responses. you realize he did not bow to his older brother.

their conversation must’ve not been very long because he’s joined your group not five minutes after you walk away. reno and kafka are now in flower crowns and iharu is impatiently waiting for his from mina. you’re trying to make your own. soshiro greets everyone and your amazed at how different he is now. his glare was as cold as steel towards his brother but here he’s warm and as witty as ever. you all decide to stay out for the afternoon and into the evening.

dinner is brought to you all and you have a picnic as twilight comes. you feel stuck about what happened yesterday and not to long ago. you’re not sure what to do but decide not saying anything is definitely not what you want to do.

you walk up to where he is, observing everyone from a little distance. ‘here’ you say handing soshiro a flower. ‘i want to apologize.’ he looks at you confused. ‘yesterday. i heard you and your father, well, i shouldn’t have-‘

you’re cut off by a chuckle ‘ ah that was you.’ a bitterness in his tone. ‘i’m sorry you heard that. and for earlier as well. i meant to say something but…’

‘don’t apologize to me. it’s none of my business but i felt bad about it happening. to you i mean. fuck, i mean you don’t need my pity. not that that’s what i’m trying to say! it’s just i know it really sucks when you argue with your family so i wanted to do something so please accept this flower.’ god you’re embarrassed. what the hell was that? you two hardly speak and now here you are stammering the most you’ve ever said at once to him.

a smile grows on his face as he looks at you then the flower, then back at you again. he reaches out and takes the flower. ‘thank you.’ he looks at you in the eyes with such sincerity you can’t respond. you nod. a moment of silence passes and you’re distracted by reno and kafka wrestling in the field. possibly being refereed by kikoru. mina hides her face from laughing. you both laugh too.

‘i didn’t want to do this by myself.’ he cuts the silence between the two of you. you turn to him. a content expression on his face. ‘i knew it wouldn’t be easy returning after so long. but i’m not the same boy i was when i left.’ he turns to you ‘i’m stronger now thanks to all of you.’

suddenly it’s hard to look him in the eyes, suddenly you palms start to sweat. your heart races. the last lingering sunlight on his face is so bright. you know what this feeling is and you want to kick your own ass for feeling it for your superior. ‘we can say the same about you.’

[ravenclawshermione]

DC Fanfic - Barbs and Briars

Since I'll be posting a new Calla-centric fic on Thursday 9/3, I wanted to share my existing works for her leading up to then! ^-^

“I’d tell you that Bat-fam dinners aren’t usually this awkward, but this was honestly one of the better ones,” Barbs said finally with a heavy sigh, “I vote next one, we sit on the far end and let Damian sit up by Bruce and them instead.”

“Next one?” I asked, incredulous.

“Oh… I mean, if you’d rather not…” she said softly, her face falling, like the colors draining out of a sunset.

I reached out to take her face in my hands, tilting her head slightly to kiss her forehead, “Barbs, I’d go anywhere for you. But do you want me to? I mean, I honestly thought…”

“What?”

“I thought you’d be reconsidering whether or not you want to be with me,” I admitted. 

She gave an amused smile, kissing me quickly, “Calla, I went into this eyes wide open. I know that your day job is going to lead to some interesting overlaps with our work. This one was a little unexpected, mostly because I thought with Selina’s history… It is what it is, though.”

“If it helps at all, I didn’t sleep with her,” I explained, “It was three scenes, one for a course and the other two for events.”

“I mean, it does help a little with the insecurity, but even if you had slept with her, we’ve all got a past. What matters to me is the future. Our future.”

Her ocean eyes held every reassurance that I needed, promising me that this was real, that this incredible, strong, sexy, confident, brilliant woman really wanted me. Her lips found mine as she pulled me close, her hand on the small of my back. I melted into her, savoring the taste of sunshine and honey, my fingers twisting up into her hair. I was fairly certain that I could spend my whole life kissing this woman and never get enough. 

“You are so incredible, Barbs,” I murmured, “Brilliant, breathtakingly beautiful, a total badass… How did I ever get so lucky?”

“I'm the lucky one,” she said, shaking her head, “I know that tonight was a bit… weird… But I’m so glad that you came with me.”

“This is a very sweet and adorable moment, so I’m going to refrain from making the obvious joke,” I said with a grin.

She burst into laughter, loud and carefree, the sound so perfect. It was scary, how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her laugh like that. I’d seen how love could destroy you when it ended, whether from the normal strain of life or the cruel sting of death. In our line of work, that last one wasn’t exactly a minimal risk. Some small part of me was screaming to run, as fast and as far as I could. But standing here, her hand on my shoulder, watching her bent over laughing, seeing her look up at me with those ocean eyes sparkling… Running wasn’t an option. Not anymore.

Barbara Gordon has never considered polyamory, has never been in a relationship with another woman, but after finally letting herself acknowledge her feelings for Calla, she's ready to try both.

Calla Carr has avoided relationships like the plague, they've only ever led to heartache. Getting feelings for two of her best friends had seemed like a big mistake. But after a game of truth or dare led to the revelation that Barbara felt the same, and that Dick was happy for the two of them, well... She's ready to be brave.

While the two of them are trying to figure out exactly how their relationship is going to work, Burnside College students start going missing. Something sinister is at work, and Barbara and Calla will both have to face down more than just relationship fears.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

One thing I've noticed is how some people are always villainizing and demonizing Runaan and Ethari, seeing them as nothing but the worst, most awful parents in the show. Saying things like "they don't deserve Rayla or her forgiveness at all." They don't love her or even care about her at all," "she was never important to them." "She deserves better parents who actually love, appreciate, and defend her." While I admit, in all honesty, that I've enormously condemned both of them for the choices and decisions, how they contributed to Rayla's losses, sorrow, and heartbreak, but I feel that it's way too extreme and way too harsh.

But I also believe that they've been obviously hurting and suffocating from the brutality of their horrendous punishments for their own failures. Because I feel that Rayla will be incredibly unforgiving towards them because at some point, she'll have to deeply process and sincerely express all her harsh, angering, heavy, resentful feelings towards Runaan and Ethari. Maybe during these two years, Rayla has probably convinced herself so deeply that they never loved her nor cared about her, and even if they're effortlessly apologizing to her, pouring all heart and soul into every single apology, her mind tells her things such as "disregard every apology they made, do not believe them nor trust them." "Why should she believe them if they never believed her?" Something along those lines.

Just wanted to give my own speculation because, yes, Rayla's had her mistakes, but Runaan and Ethari had even greater failures and bigger wrongdoings. Because I know that the show will address Rayla, not only confronting her own true sentiments towards both of them, but Ethari and Runaan being hit where it really hurts them them the most: with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

This is in no way me hating on them. I adore Runaan and Ethari, but I don't want the show to let them off the hook for how they technically abandoned Rayla because they need to be held accountable and responsible for what happened.

In your honest perspective, BTQ, how do they even go about reconciling and repairing their relationship with Rayla? I genuinely hope that there can love, acceptance and forgiveness again, especially from Rayla. It'll be very hard for her, but I believe all 3 of them will overcome this. I have faith in them.

Apologies for the long post. Much love, fam.

Hey, thanks for your honest thoughts. I think we might have different perspectives on the idea of atonement/forgiveness/redemption, but that's okay. Since you were kind enough to share your thoughts, let me return the favor!

At the heart of my perspective is simply this: the more catholic we are in trying to shame and guilt people into admitting they messed up, the less likely they are to ever admit out loud that they were wrong (even if they want to). And that fear of rejection, of being shamed, keeps real change from getting started.

We get to be mad when we are hurt. We get to advocate for ourselves, to defend ourselves. And Rayla might have some feelings about her dads that she wants to yell at them about. But maybe she doesn't. Maybe she's not even looking back, or maybe it's been resolved and we'll see it in a flashback with Ethari or something. We don't know yet. She hasn't really spoken on the topic, and it might take her a while to do so.

The issue of intent should matter, too. TDP is a hopepunk story, and that carries certain themes that I'd love for more people to look for and enjoy:

resilience - as forgiveness or growth

imperfection - familiar to everyone, messier options and solutions

earnestness - folks are just folks, no evil masterminds

good and evil - not a state of mind but a series of choices

community - everyone still cares for their group/others

As we wait for S5 (and the rest of the series) to drop, it feels a little risky to me to pin so much personal expectation on it to deliver extremely specific emotional rewards like this. S5 was written, gosh, maybe a couple years ago? I don't know exactly, but it's been a minute, and we just got S4 - and its expectations - last November. Animation is a really really long process!

I'm content to wait and see what happens next. TDP doesn't work for me, and they don't have to do what I want, and it's too late to make any S5 changes now anyway, so I will take what I am given and appreciate it for the story it is, actually. I love this show, and I respect the people who work hard to create it. And there's really nothing more I feel I need to add to that, so that's where I'll stop.

Okay, I lied, one last thought! Bahaha.

Rayla already knows what it's like to be mistrusted by her dads. She did get angry at them about it.

For about 10 seconds.

Ethari confessed, and Rayla forgave them and had tea with them, snuggled up safe and sound, at home where she was loved.

It wasn't a big deal. They talked about it, they were honest, and they found a way to move forward together as a family. It took 3 panels - a single page - of BH to address it.

If there is a next time for confrontation, it will probably go at least a bit differently, if for no other reason than Rayla is several years older and has matured as a person. But this is her precedent for conflict resolution with Runaan and Ethari, specifically.

If everyone wants it to work out, it'll probably work out. If someone wants to be Right, or to be a Victim, or to make Drama, then that'll probably happen instead. But I covered my expectations up in the hopepunk stuff, so that's what I'm expecting from anything similar: everyone will at least want to resolve their grievances.

[bubblessunshinehoney]

Bright souls have a dark side too

A/N: This is a little fic i write for this festive holiday. Not always easy to introduce your boyfriend to the entire family. But hey, with Bucky at your side, why being afraid?

Enjoy,

Cloudy

don't be shy to reblog, comment and like!

TW: tiny bit of angst if you squint closely, meeting the all fam (that's scary), fluff, bucky barnes (the romantic menace), smut (fingering (f receive) pinv (wrap it before you tap it)-established relationship

1909 words

divider by @firefly-graphics

not beta read, english is not my first language, all mistakes are my own.

It’s Christmas eve, the worse moment of the year for you. You can’t quite understand the thrilled around it, but you like to see your friends and family happy. That all that matters to you on these days.

But this year…it’s special, you have someone special by your side. A dark brunette with blue eyes and a smile that warm your heart more and more every day.

“Doll?”

This nickname, you always found it to be a bit cheesy, but since him? You find it endearing and you love to hear it…especially with his voice.

“Yes, my love?”. His warm smile comes to view, and you smile back to him.

“Are you ready?”, you can’t hold back the sigh, making him worried. “Doll? Are you okay?”. You nod.

“Yeah, yeah, just…anxious I guess.” He sits beside you and cradles you in his arms.

“About what?”

“I don’t know, my family? You not liking them, them not liking you…me panicking for being overstimulated?”.

He kisses your forehead and smiles against your skin. “You’re adorable.”

You huff at that, “I’m not, I’m… pathetic”

He holds your chin and looks into your eyes, making you feel so small, but so safe at the same time. “You’re not. I met only your sister, and she was already a bit shocked to see her little sister going out with The Winter Soldiiier”, he half jokes.

You glare at him, and he kisses you.

“I know, you talked about me, but to see me in flesh can be…intimidating? I mean I do have a reputation. And not always the best one.”

You want to say something, but he shushes you with another kiss. “No but’s, it’s true and I’m okay with it. I made amend, I know my worth…most of the time and I got you. I don’t need to be accepted by your all family, just hope your parents can see I will, and I am taking good care of you, that’s all that matter for me.”

You smile, you love when he gets a bit old fashion concerning your parents and the way they will see him. You secretly wonder if he will ask your dad first if one day he proposed.

He helps you dress, reassuring you that you look gorgeous and that you don’t need to put the most amazing outfit. “I mean for me…you could wear my Henley and I would say you can go on the catwalk”, he smiles at you in the mirror, and you giggle.

“Jamiiiie!”

When you look up and meet his eyes…the blue is almost gone. You started to call him Jamie a few weeks back, and let’s just say…it always had an effect on him. His hands are on your hips, and he brings you tight against him. You gasp, because his hard, from head to toe, but damn the weapon between his legs is menacing you.

“Say that again”, he groans in your ear.

“J-jamie?”

He holds you close, cuddling you, kissing your neck. “I love when you call me like that.”

You giggle and shake your head “And I’m amazed by how feral and cute you can be in a matter of seconds”, he smiles sheepishly at you.

“Well, I…we need to get going soon and I don’t want to ruin your hair and makeup…now”, he murmurs pressing against you.

“So thoughtful of you…Jamie.”, you reply in a seductive voice.

He hugs you tighter and bites your neck gently. “Please I’m trying to be a good man and not railed my girlfriend before I officially meet her parents.”

You laugh and rest your head on his shoulder. He smiles at you in the mirror and squeezes your waist. “It’s gonna be alright angel face”.

You nod and hold his hand, walking out of your new shared appartement. It’s serious between us, you think. He left the Avenger Tour to settle with me.

Let’s just say, the lunch with your extended family was something. Shocked was written on all their faces when they saw who was the mysterious plus one your mother mentioned. Bucky put on his best smile and tried not to cringe when everybody looked at his arm. Especially when you were holding his left hand. Surprisingly, your dad was the nicest and asked him real question and was really interested about what he did now, not about his past. They bonded around mechanics when bucky explained that he helped Sam rebuilt an old boat.

At 7pm, you two are finally home. You feel bloated, exhausted and so relieved that Christmas is over.

“Come here”, murmurs Bucky when you go lay on the couch. “I want to cuddle in bed, it’s comfier”, he continues, starting to take off your clothes. You shiver, the appartement being a bit colder than the house of your auntie. James is quick to takes his Henley off and to put it on you, you smile at the gesture and inhale his scent in the crook of his collar. “I’m right here, sunshine”, he jokes. You turn and hug him.

“How do you feel? I’m sorry they were looking at you like that.”

He kisses your head and strokes your cheeks. “I’m alright, your dad made it all better and you did too. I’m used to people staring.”

“I don’t want you to feel like …I don’t know, but I want you to feel welcomed in my family.”

“And I will, look at your friends, they were a bit… cold at first and now, it’s alright.”

He kisses you before you can say something. A kiss that deepens, he holds you close to him, walking you to the bed, laying you down gently and hovering you.

“I had a nice Christmas lunch. I had the best Christmas in a long time, because I spend it with you”, he declares.

You smirk. “Cheesy, Barnes”. He glares at you, and you blush.

“I told you to not call me that…”

“I was only joking”.

“I know, but don’t call me that, please?”. You nod and pecks his lips.

“I won’t call you that again, promise, Jamie.”

This time, he smiles and kisses you deeply, holding you tight against his chest, not a single space between the two of you. You get worked up fast, he knows how to push the right buttons to make you feel hot and bothered.

“James…jamie…please”, you mumble between kisses.

“Mmh?”

“I need you, Jamie.”

He presses firmly against you, saying without words that he needs you too and you’re quick to get him out of his pants and boxers, he takes your panties too and his Henley of you and once again holds you tight against him.

You love how much he needs skin to skin contact. How he grew and let his need of physical touch overcome his fear that you’ll run away if his left arm touched you.

His right hand slides between your bodies and plays with your mound, you arch your back and let a soft moan leaves your lips. Bucky catches it with a soft and tender kiss.

“My beautiful and gorgeous doll”, he murmurs against your lips. You pass your arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. This man has ruined you for everyone else and you want to drown in his tender and rough touch.

You cum on his fingers first, shaking and eyes rolling back. You’re quick to press him for more. “I need you, Jamie.”, you whine. He smiles at that and nods, starting to kiss you tenderly, making you dizzy by how he plays with your tongue, how he’s nibbling at your lower lip and how cold and hot touches run down your skin.

When you feel his cock close to where you need him the most you press your hips down, making him chuckle.

“Eager, my doll.”

You nod, not ashamed of how addicted to him you are. You hold his head between your hands and look at him deeply. “I want you, Jamie, all the time, it’s crazy how I’m addicted to you”.

He thrusts in and bottoms out in one long thrust, making you moan deeply. You hold onto him, and he smiles, a smile so bright you feel his love pouring out of it. His warm against you, inside you…and in your chest the fire is burning.

He sets a pace that makes you loose sight of time and space. You can only see or hear him. His grunts, his hands caressing every part of you, his cock throbbing each time you clench. You can only see his blue eyes, saying thousand words and you understand each every one of them. You never had sex like that, with Bucky it’s always with this connection, a special one that make you think of him even when he’s just in the next room.

It’s a connection that make you see him, truly see him and he sees you too. It’s like your souls were connected before you cross each other path.

Bucky leans in and kisses you again, angling your hips in that way only him can do, the angle that makes you see stars in a matter of seconds. He rolls his hips deeps into you, kissing your cervix and rolling his pelvis on yours. You moan loudly, scratching his back entirely and holding his ass tightly after. He growls in your ear, speaking Russian lowly and you swoon at it.

“JAMES!” you scream a moan one last time and cum around him violently. He holds you tight when you start to tremble and makes little thrust and little roll of his hips to help you with your high. You clench hard one last time and he gasps before cumming too. He hides his face in your neck, tensing above you and relaxing after his own high.

He rolls over so you’re on top and holds you tightly, stroking your back and kissing your head. You pant, pressing kisses on his neck and drawing little patterns on his chest.

“I love you, doll”, he whispers after a while. You smile and kisses above his heart.

“I love you, Jamie.” He smiles brightly and scrunches his nose in a cute way.

After a few more comfortable minutes in silence, he pats your butt. “Your Dad said something to me, that…I can’t keep to myself.”

You frown, afraid… his smile reassures you.

“He told me that every bright soul have a dark side. He apologised for the looks some of your family sent me while eating. He said that my past, as the winter soldier, was the dark side of my soul. But that didn’t define it all. He saw the bright side and how I cared for you. He saw your smile change when we started dating.”

He stops, tearing up a little before continuing:

“he told me…that I made you and your soul shine again. And that together we were brighter and that made him very happy.”

You let your tears fall. Your dad always had a little philosophical way of thinking. And you loved that side of him. And to hear him say that to your boyfriend put your mind at ease, if your dad accepted your Jamie, the family would follow. That means you and Jamie could have you happily ever after.

Bucky kisses your tears away and then pecks your lips lots, making you giggle. “See Christmas magic” he chimes.

You laugh and kisses him.

-Fin

mwaaaaah @chrisdrysdale for your christmas gift andddd 1 year celebration

[katurdayss]

Rings of Power Ep 3 live blogging, lets do this. Again under the cut to avoid spoilers.

Okay episode 3 done. Dwarves, golden. Love it. The dwarves are the reason why I know the show can be written well. Everything else seems to be hit or miss. The elves more miss than anything else. For all the discourse surrounding the money sunk into this show, I feel like they could have had more refinement in areas. Honestly I get the feeling the ‘studio’ made certain demands.

I gave the show a B last year and it’s looking like it’s gonna get the same grade again.

Swear to fucking god these recaps. It’s patronizing. Yes I remember all this shit, don’t gotta keep reminding me. Could have forgiven the first one but THREE EPISODES IN A ROW?! Nah fam.

Horse girls for the win.

That’s right! Don’t mess with a war horse you foul orcs!

They gotta name for the forest already? Wasn’t this shit just incinerated? Damn they move fast.

O FUCK NO! Fucking spiders. Gross dude just no to all of it.

Don’t know how I feel about Earien. The show has given us now backstory as to why she would have such differing views from the rest of her family and I feel like she’s just a plot device for Pharazon to come to power in the long run.

O great Pharazon being creepy. Really would like to avoid the forced marriage/incest/rape storyline please.

How is red for the future?

Seriously why is Earien in the room here? She was barely an apprentice last season.

O bitch stole the Palantir.

Okay I always had questions on how orcs procreate/if they were immortal since they’re twisted from elves and I just got my answer. And I want to bleach my mind now. And now I’m wondering about courting rituals. Like do they commit murder together? Eat an elf? Inquiring minds want to know.

Okay love how brash Durin is but also notice how Annatar/Sauron said summon, when they were really invited by Celebrimbor?

Love how Durins face is like “stop blowing smoke up my ass”

Seriously love Disa and Durin’s relationship but Disa my queen no.

Celebrimbor! RED FLAG RED FLAG

God damn he’s Feanor’s grandson alright

Oh thank god he did not drink that. *retching sound*

Yeah that’s real close the femoral artery no?

So the settlements did happen.

No! Berek!

Where is her son? Ah.

Seriously dwarves are the best part of this show. Hands down.

Awww, look at Arondir trying to be the dad that stepped up.

Sigh teenagers

How old is Isildur? Where are we in the timeline. He needs to be alive during the Last Alliance. Can’t be more than a few centuries till then.

What the fuck ENTS ENTS

she looks resplendent in white.

Fucking too right an eagle showed up for her. Oh god damn it.

[darkboysroadtrip]

"So, what's your story Logan?" Annie asks, "I haven't seen you since you were two, all I know about you is that you're married if that wedding ring has anything to say about it."

Logan twirls his ring around, the small baby blue and red jewels sparkle when the light catches them.

"Legally we aren't married, but that's mostly to do with our situation" he says.

"Your situation?"

"There are three of us, I came into their relationship a little after they got married, and then afterwards the three of us did our own ceremony, it's not legally binding but it's binding in the way that matters most."

"That sounds... complicated but I'm happy for you!"

"It's not really when you see our dynamic."

"I'm sure it's all very sweet, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a kindergarten teacher, I also substitute for older grades if need be, I can be a college professor if I wanted to, but the younger minds need good guidance and I believe that I could be that for them."

"Wow, smarty pants" Annie ribs him.

"Technically that's Dr. Smarty Pants, but I didn't tell you that so I'll let it slide this time" he jokes back.

"Oooo Dr PhD" Annie smiles and then she looks sad again, "Melody would be so proud of you, she would be no matter what though."

There's a lull in their conversation before Logan asks, "was I there when he was murdering her?"

Annie seems a little shocked by how blunt the question was but she answers it, "you were in the other room, you were supposed to be sleeping but when the shouting started I could hear your cries, you were asleep when I woke up though."

Logan lightly nods.

"You're not going to believe me about Antha" he says after a minute.

"Try me, I believe in some weird stuff."

"My group and I were exploring her house, silly as it is we were ghost hunting" he decides not to tell her the whole story lest he sound too out of it, "and we found her."

Annie's eyes go wide, "Antha's ghost?"

"Precisely, she showed us how she was murdered, she showed us through her eyes."

Annie looks horrified at this, but she stays quiet.

"We helped put her to rest, she's at peace now."

"And that's why you came here looking for more answers, you put clues together and followed a hunch."

"Exactly" Logan confirms.

"I've been in that house plenty times, why didn't she come to me?"

Logan shakes his head, "I couldn't tell you."

Before anyone can say anything else there's a bang against the door - like someone walked into it.

The handle jiggles, "hey, the door is stuck" Jerry says, he's motioning to the handle at them through the little window.

Annie sighs and gets up to open the door, "what is it Jerry?"

"Uh, the sheriff dude is here, he wants to talk to you or something."

Annie scowels, "ugh I hate that man."

"Feelings mutual" Logan says from behind her.

Annie snickers before they both walk back to the front of the library.

[asks are the lifeblood of ask blogs fam! 😎👉👉]

[vee-crytraps]

Can we get to know more about y/n? Any past relationships, does she play any sports at school etc… unless you are saving that information for the story then carry on🤭🤭

Oooh this is a good question! TYSM for asking! So, first, I don't think I'll include any of this in the stories (we'll see!) bc the reader is a civilian, which means that most of their school/personal life won't involve any known characters. I always get nervous adding OCs to these stories because most people are reading for the batboys obvs. Even if y/n is interested in someone who is a vigilante/villain and she doesn't know it, Bruce and the rest of the fam are on top of keeping them out of her lives. However! I do have some ideas about what her life looks like outside of the bat fam under the cut!

School Y/n, even though she's adopted, is still considered Bruce's daughter. She's the richest girl in Gotham, even among the kids at the academy. She's popular by nature and often gets a lot of invites to parties and events. She doesn't usually accept those invites because a lot of these events are unsupervised, and she's afraid of scandal. Y/n gets good grades. Whether or not she's a total academic superstar/genius is up to you, but she's an A-/B+ student at least. She's not out fighting crime so Bruce is really strict about her doing her homework and having things completed. Dick was a C student when he was in school, Jason and Tim are dropouts, and Damian doesn't do any homework. Even though they're all smart, you can't always pass by acing your tests. Especially if you're absent for some of those, too. Bruce is on her back about going to college and stuff, since he's grooming her to be in charge of the family's image if that makes sense? He just needs one kid to be normal and show up to things tbh She's for sure got extracurriculars. Not being a superhero means she has a lot of free time! The specifics are up to you! -if she's academically inclined, she's probably in debate or robotics -if she's socially inclined, she'll be in student government or prom court -if neither of those are appealing, she could do some volunteering, although you will pretty much always have to run it by Bruce and he'd make Damian go with you. Damian is a good guy but he is pretty abrasive and a little socially inept. He'll end up making some people uncomfortable in the process which is kind of antithetical to the gesture haha Relationships Y/n has had one or two relationships, but they were undoubtably somewhat juvenile. Going to diners/getting ice cream/walks in the park/carnival dates. They wouldn't have spent much time alone in private. I think Y/n has fooled around with these partners but not often/ has not had penetrative sex until Silas. She has a lot of anxiety over being a young woman in this setting, and has probably witnessed a lot of her more notable female classmates being shamed for sexual promiscuity in gossip rags or like online. I feel like y/n probably saw a few of those creepy 'countdown to her 18th birthday' things for herself when she was 14/15 and ever since then has been hyper aware that whoever she ends up dating/having sex with could have some incentive to publicize it. Which is socially fine if you're a dude, but can be damning for a young woman. This is why she decides to lose her virginity to Silas before the story starts. He's another wealthy kid from her school but moved there from another city two years ago. He rejects his family's wealth and thinks it makes him deep, which is why he genuinely didn't know who reader was when they met.

He doesn't care about money or popularity because he already technically has both, and up until your party you'd had no reason to believe that he'd tell anyone. Thanks for letting me info dump about my silly little series!

[kikithedeceiver]

For the Milgram ask game. How about question 2, 7, 12, 18, 21 for Mikoto :3

milgram character ask game !

I SHOULDN'T HAVE RAMBLED TO YOU ABOUT MILGRAM! DAMMIT, LIZ!

Fine my next fav, Mikoto...and John because you can't really talk about one without the other.

Also disclaimer: I'm a singlet. Just saying in case I offend anyone and feel free to correct me on anything I say wrong. Last question sort of get personal as well, so adding a read more.

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

Can't really choose because:

Mikoto looked so damn at peace here since he's finally able to catch a break

The devastation John felt when he finally realised he screwed Mikoto over big time for what he thought was good for him still hurts me every time I see this scene

7. favorite relationships with another character if they weren't in milgram, the way you'd imagine or would like them to be?

I do have this whole ass AU living in my head where no one is a murderer and living a healthier life, but still coping with their trauma of what could have led them to murder. Also it's more Amane-centred but ANYWAYS.

In that AU, where Mikoto isn't working in an exploitative asf company, yet still enjoys his line of work and can support his fam, I can see him trying to hang out with the rest of the cast from Milgram. Just anytime when he's off work, he'll catch up with whoever wants to chat for a bit. He'll go out with anyone! Maybe with Mahiru as she chats away about what's happening in her life, with Fuuta to just let him vent and maybe watch him play some arcade/mobile games, with Kotoko to just chill. Oh, there's still the smoking group! Night out drinking (Mikoto just gets non-alcoholic drinks tho).

As for Mikoto with John, I guess he'd try to come to terms that he basically has a headmate living inside him, but still try to stay optimistic about it. He knows John is looking out for him (no murder in this AU here), and he's working on communicating better with him too. Mikoto tries contacting him by writing stuff in a journal, and after a while, John also writes back. He also leaves sticky notes around their home to remind Mikoto to take care of himself.

Also also, John is here to listen to whatever is upsetting Mikoto, which he refuses to show anyone. Only John knows, and he comforts him as best as he can. Making sure Mikoto is tucked in, doing the chores around their home as Mikoto rest, etc.

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

I really hope I'm not saying anything wrong here, but here goes...

It's mentioned a lot by fans already that they wished John wasn't the stereotypical bad alter that's always shown in media, but hey, he has layers and more personality than just assumed to be a cold, ruthless murderer, so we got that! I guess what I wish talked about more is how stress from work is a factor in why John committed the murder for Mikoto's sake. There are reasons behind why the murder happened, and honestly, I think it's the company Mikoto worked at that caused this whole thing to spiral out of control for them. Doesn't justify murder, but I can see why John did what he did when he believed what he did was to relieve Mikoto's stress, thus saving him.

18. which non-deco vocaloid songs do you think suit them?

I'm still thinking, but I think Lost One's Weeping fits Mikoto well. Mikoto tried so hard to do well and please everyone, but he is finally cracking since what he tried to pursue wasn't what he thought it would be, and now he's lost. However, I thought of The Servant of Evil fits John as well since he's willing to die for Mikoto if it meant no further harm would come to him.

21. do you have any similarities with them/relate to something in them?

...You're really asking me this.

*inhales*

In a sense, yes. It's very personal and I don't want to get into too much of it here, but I just want to protect whatever goodness I have in myself while continuing to exist. I want that part of me to be happy, that's all.

[bellysoupset]

hi soup!

not sure if you’ve touched on this before but can i ask how jonah came out to the people in his life. like his parents, his sister, and the rest of the friend group?

Hi dear!

I haven't touched this before actually! I'm not big on come out stories, as is something I never felt any need to do, you know?

I think Jon's more or less the same. By the time he figured he was gay, around 13, his parents were already divorced in the throes of it all. He was already in boarding school too. I think it never crossed his mind to talk about his parents about who he's attracted to, be it boy or girl.

I honestly don't see Jonah thinking his sexuality is anyone's business. In his family this ended up being very fine, but in his friend group we actually do see him more or less "come out", because the football team (except Luke) thought he was straight.

At the very start of my fics, we have Leo being super jealous of Wendy, because he thinks Jon is interested in her! And also Jonah being bewildered anyone would think he's straight 😂 Here's the fic

I think Luke had to come out about liking boys to his mom, but this was when she was sick and a lot more amiable. He never did come out to Kit as bi and given their relationship and the fact Luke's married now, I don't think he ever will.

Vince was a lot more pressed and he did actually have a "please sit down I need to tell you something" talk with his parents, since his whole fam is catholic and teen him was angsting over it. His parents were really cool about it and it was all very teary eyed.

And then there's Leo who was in the closet basically until college, even though it was always painfully obvious to him and his school mates that he was gay. He got pushed around/slapped at home because of homophobia, because even though he was in the closet because of the man, his father Knew. I cover this here and here

[hopeprevails]

i said i was gonna keep quiet about my unpopular thasmin opinion but i'm not lmao. this is super long and i don't think anyone is interested but i just wanted to put my thoughts out there in the world, since my opinion is in the minority inside the thirteenth doctor fandom and i created this blog to dump all of the opinions i have that no one asked for

thing is: i don't usually ship characters who i think are unhealthy for each other. might sound dumb but i always try to apply the most realistic expectations considering their personalities as i would in real life. and i genuinely think that thirteen and yaz are better off as friends than anything else for one specific reason: boundaries

more under the cut, but just saying before it all, in case my message gets lost: yaz is a brilliant companion and her characterisation is amazing; also, thirteen is my favourite incarnation of the doctor, taking the crown from nine after 6 years of being a doctor who fan. yaz is fundamental to the doctor's history and i hope isn't forgotten by rtd2 and beyond. that being said, i'll just get into it

this incarnation of the doctor in specific is very secretive and doesn't want to talk about her personal stuff; that's a boundary she's set early on. now whether it's a healthy boundary or an unhealthy one, that's a different point. thing is, it exists and thirteen is very clear on this throughout her time with yaz and the fam, especially after spyfall. yaz has someone like that in her family as well, her granny, who we've seen doesn't want to talk about much of what happened before she arrived in sheffield. yaz not only presses her about it, but also decides to find out for herself since she has access to time travel (don't get me wrong here, demons of the punjab is def one of my all time modern who fave episodes, i'm really glad it exists). it's only after she's seen in person what's happened that she "allows" her granny not to tell her. it's a very consistent trait of her character and her pressing the doctor to tell her stuff doesn't come out of nowhere (like i've seen some people saying outside of tumblr). i'm also not judging here if that's a good or a bad thing, it just is.

and this takes me to my next point: yaz was growing more and more frustrated with the doctor as time moved on. to understand why, let's take all of this from yaz's perspective: we know she's someone who presumably thinks that people should talk about their secrets with their loved ones, in any type of relationship (familial, platonic, romantic, whatever). graham says to o in spyfall that the doctor always changes the topic when they ask her where she's from and all of that, which would suggest that they've tried several times before and thirteen always deflects. then this o guy shows up, "kidnaps" the doctor and when she comes back, she's distant and aloof, but won't tell them what happened. then they meet ruth, and thirteen comes back looking way more defeated than they've ever seen, only agreeing to talk about what happened because they press her again and the information she gives them isn't all that informative. that gets us to season 12 finale, yaz refuses to believe the doctor is dead but doesn't know how to reach her, doesn't even understand what was happening at all. why was she out when they found her inside the citadel? what did the master want with her? what's been going on all this time? i think it's during these 10 months that yaz's frustration peaks inside her: she's feeling abandoned and lost. for someone who always tries to understand everything down to the last detail and doesn't like secrecy in her relationships, that's just too much for her. but she's in love with thirteen (even if she hasn't realised it yet), so she obviously doesn't let go. thirteen comes back pretending nothing's changed, and the rest of the episode is history. when we get to flux, this frustration is more evident than ever and their relationship, even as friends, seems fractured and tense. there was a point when i would watch them together and wonder why yaz put up with the doctor at all if it wasn't doing her any good. in my opinion, she should've pulled a martha and left to find a more satisfying relationship, that was adequate to her needs as a person. again, if i think she's right or not is another thing, but this is just how i saw it all at this point. thirteen does apologise for shutting yaz out at the end of flux, but even after that it's clearly difficult to get her to just sit down and talk about everything that happened.

now it would be unfair to not try and see things from the doctor's perspective as well. i must admit i'm a little biased because i think and act a lot like thirteen in emotional situations, so i tend to understand her side a lot more than yaz's (but i tried to be as unbiased as possible when analysing everything from yaz's pov). the doctor has just been losing people left and right the last hundreds of years. not counting classic who or rtd's era because i don't feel like there was that much focus on found family there (and i haven't watched classic who unfortunately): eleven thought he found a family, amy and rory were taken from him. he gets married to river, their timeline seems to be ending. he finds clara after isolating himself, regenerates into twelve, creates this codependent and sometimes downright unhealthy attachment to her and sees her life crumbling down before she herself dies. loses river yet again, loses bill in a brutal way and thinks missy has betrayed him. he comes to terms with (some of) his losses and with his pain in twice upon a time, only to see the first face thirteen met - grace - die the very same day she met her. my blorbo is damn tired, and you know what? i get her. i lost some friends (like losing touch for lots of reasons, not that they died lol) and was "betrayed" (in mudane things) by some others and now i just avoid everyone lmao. i'm in my 20s, can you imagine this shit happening your whole damn life and you're more than 2000 years old? in thirteen's mind, the obvious solution is: always try to be nice and never fail to be kind, but like, miles and miles emotionally away from everyone. ten had been "mostly" honest with rose and lost her. twelve came to completely trust clara, and lost her. thirteen decides to not open up unless it's absolutely necessary. and i also think she has a serious case of delayed emotional response and shuts down when confronted with her own pain, which makes conversations about emotional topics (either her feelings for anyone or her past) really difficult, probably even physically painfull (she's basically curling towards herself in fugitive of the judoon when she says ryan doesn't know her and also when she explains to yaz she can't be with her in legend of the sea devils). from this article:

How can you tell if someone is experiencing a delayed emotional response?

One of the most common signs of a delayed emotional response or Delayed Trauma Response is an inability to process and express emotions in a timely manner. When someone is experiencing it, they may appear to be “frozen” or “stuck” at the moment. They may be unresponsive and unable to express their feelings about what happened or how they are feeling in the present moment.

Other signs that someone may be experiencing Delayed Trauma Response include changes in behavior such as avoidance of certain activities, avoiding eye contact, difficulty expressing emotion verbally, increased aggression and irritability, hypervigilance, extreme sensitivity to reminders of the trauma, and flashbacks.

People experiencing Delayed Emotional Response may also have difficulty sleeping, numbness or disconnection from others, social withdrawal, self-loathing and guilt, loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, and difficulty concentrating."

i counted ten symptoms, so she hits a lot of boxes there. especially during flux, we see the "increased aggression and irritability" towards yaz after their small argument in halloween apocalypse. delayed emotional response is a serious problem that is difficult to experience and heal from, and thirteen doesn't seem to see a way out of it. to trust yaz is to be vulnerable and to be vulnerable is to explain everything and to explain everything is to deal with all these emotions and risk getting hurt all over again and she can't do that. it's sad, really, how much she needs help but doesn't feel like is either worthy of it or that anyone would be able to help her. she has a duty of care towards the universe and everyone around her, and her own emotions be damned. it's interesting that we see thirteen actively avoiding to direct unpleasantness or negativity to the fam throughout her time with them, but in halloween apocalypse, she also gets frustrated with yaz. she loves yaz's company and wants her to stay travelling with her, but the budging and the questioning gets to her after that small argument and the doctor just can't filter her reactions anymore.

so, conclusion is: the doctor's boundaries hurt yaz, who needs more openness in her relationships and to feel she understands their loved ones and their lives; these are yaz's boundaries. but these boundaries hurt thirteen, who grows frustrated that yaz doesn't understand her reasons but also can't bring herself to open up to, in turn, make yaz understand her. and that's why i said in one of my tags that i thought thirteen's attempt to talk about their romantic feelings in legends of the sea devils was extreeeemely commendable. it was obviously painful and uncomfortable, but she pushes through it because she loves yaz and knows yaz deserves closure, so she can move on. as someone who goes through similar things in my personal life, i was proud of thirteen. and i think that, as sad as it was, her decision was the right one

[jeremiah-fisher]

hi . its me . im finally exposing myself lmfaooo 💀 you already know how obsessed i am with ur fic but here is the actual proof now finally 💀😭 so see the pics of (some of) ur mood board pics on my collage wall (you’ll probably recognise a few). and then…. the sims😭. i’ve made yn the way i imagined her to be, with the little things she was described as, and the one pic from ur second last moodboard, how her family is not white american, so i sorta made her from indian roots?? kinda ?? idrk what i was going for cuz my imagination while reading each chapter keeps changing as well💀💀but here she is with her little fam fam, the relationships are the same as in ur fic. her mom and her not on good terms, mom & dad almost divorcing (but i might save them), esme was a teen mom like how she was meant to be (now an adult, and sadly only one daughter and not a twin but oh well). etc etc. i made the conklins live next to her and the fishers in front of her (without the dads tho). yn, belly, steven, conrad and jeremiah are now almost graduating hs as well (i played it for so long literally since they were kids in the sims, yn had to keep her crush a secret and its only now finally developing) so yeahhh jere and yn are a thing thing ☺️🥹 and theyre gonna plan to go to college together (with the other summer kids and have their own adventures!) belly is starting to date conrad finally. steven and yn have a banter relationship (honestly i love steven so much lol) and shes besties with belly as well, but obv no one tops jere. the fishers and conklins go along very well too especially jere and steven and obv laurel and susannah theyre best friends forever. susannah plays an important role in yns life cuz she almost raised her as her mom was always fighting her. so yeah yn spent a lot of time in the fishers house . I AM NOOTTT LETTING SUSANNAH DIE IN THIS THO I CANT HANDLE THAT. so yeah thats where we’re at right now. its basically Just like your fic, but now progressing to the future stage (which will probably be in ur drabbles)

ok so do not mind how the rest of her family looks. i didn’t really pay much attention to them but we have anya, yns dad, esme, yns mom and on the right yn herselffff

then we have the fishers. ok its amateur i know i dont pay much attention to the sims im not playing lmfao so susannah is a bit basic(since im mostly playing in yns household). but they speak for themselves i think u know who they are 💀

and last but not least the conklins!!

i love playing these and let their story unfold. i wish i could show u all the happy memories and moments theyve been through already (some the same as the fic and some slightly different) but unfortunately the sims dont have that option to Actually save a storyline lol unless i take screenshots which i wish i had 😭🤲🏻 but you’ll just have to take my words for it that their story has been very cute so far! some hardships between yn and her family and her and jere bc of the unrequited love 💔 but now its finally going into a happy direction. hope you love it and ur not weirded out by all this LMFAOO. just want to say Again that i really love ur work and that i cant wait to keep on supporting u and read the rest of your work. 💗 much love x

Oh my God! I’m so overwhelmed by the happiness soaring through my heart that I don’t know what to say! Ahhhh! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This is sosososooooo lovely! I can’t believe you did this! All the work and effort and time you must have put into making these characters and their world! I don’t know how the Sims works, but I can’t imagine it was easy to do this. You’re phenomenal ⭐️

Tell me why I think Jeremiah in the Sims is cute af 💀 he looks like a frat guy lmaooo. Which, granted, he is ahahahiskandjdks. All of the characters look so great! I didn’t give YN a specific race or ethnicity because I wanted readers to imagine her as they want to, apart from the fact that she is a poc because we deserve representation, too! I’m so glad you made this YN your own. It’s such a nice thing to see as a writer 😢

Thank you for sharing this adorable message with me and for the pictures! I’m going to treasure this forever and everr 🖤

[tanyatakaishi]

Spoiling my own fic, but had too much fun writing my headcanon of the Motomiya fam that I created all the way back in Innocent Games.

Excerpt from in-progress Ch. 7 of the sequel, Remember:

...

His parents had turned his room into an office.

Which is why Davis was now lying on a flower comforter with a poster of Matt Ishida staring at him. 

It was sort of crazy that his room was no longer in existence while Jun’s had been kept like a time capsule since she’d finished high school.

Guess he knew which one of them was the favorite.

“You were so ready to get out of here and start living your dream,” his mom had explained, folding the clothes from his duffle bag to put in Jun’s old dresser. “Your room hardly had anything left in it.”

Meanwhile Jun’s seemed to accumulate more things, making it impossible to completely unpack.

Ken had offered to share his one bedroom apartment but Davis declined.

“You’re still on my blacklist," he had said, earning a Ken smile while the two of them stacked the rest of his things into storage. "Consider this your probationary period, removal pending. Plus, I’m pretty sure Yolei’ll fight me for custody if I keep hoggin you.”

Ken didn’t find that funny. Davis hadn’t either, since he wasn’t really sure he’d been joking.

He turned away from the Teenage Wolves poster and tossed a footbag into the air for Veemon to catch.

“Matt’s judging me.”

“That’s just his resting face,” Veemon lisped, sending the bag back.

Davis caught it and did a quick sit up, glaring at the wall of boy-bands. “I’m gonna take him down.”

He was standing on the bed, fingers deep in prying down the poster, when his dad appeared.

“I see you’re keeping yourself busy.”

Davis gave the poster a firm rip. “Just makin the rooms even.” 

Tadashi Motomiya took a seat on the bed beside him, grabbing the abandoned footbag and tossing it to Veemon. “How about we go get a drink? Scope out the ladies?”

Davis stopped ripping the Teenage Wolves poster in order to shoot his father a glare. 

“Not for me," Tadashi laughed. "I’m still happily married.” 

The poster floated in pieces onto Jun’s old flower bedspread and Davis sunk down, sprawling over a pillow. 

“Come on," Tadashi coaxed. "Don't be so doom and gloom. You’re still a catch. All these modern women are probably dying to not have to cook for their families.”

“Dad,” Davis groaned.

“Don’t let living at home stop you.” Tadashi ground a knuckle into his son’s hair.

“How are you so…not passively passive aggressive?” grumbled Davis.

“You mean aggressive aggressive?”

“I guess.”

“Just trying to help my little mama’s boy become a man.”

Frowning, Davis snatched the footbag Veemon was tossing up and down from the air. “I think I’m gonna quit drinking."

“Interesting timing,” said Tadashi, rubbing his hands on his knees before standing back to his feet. “So guy’s night out is a bust, huh?”

Davis was caught by surprise at the disappointment in his voice. “Yeah, maybe some other time?”

“You cooking tonight?”

“Planning to.”

“Good. Ramen?”

“I was thinking of tryin my hand at some okonomiyaki. Been awhile since I made it.”

“I love okonomiyaki,” sighed Veemon.

Tadashi chuckled. “I’m sure it’ll be great. Can’t understand why you haven’t been getting enough business.”

Davis shrugged. 

“They’ll come around. And if not, well, that’s their loss.” Tadashi gave his son’s shoulder a firm squeeze before quickly leaving the room.

Davis stood up to close the door. He turned to Veemon. "That was weird." 

“Maybe we should go,” Veemon said.

"And listen to his terrible advice all night?" Davis went back to tearing the posters from the wall. 

He still remembered the start of his last year of high school, when his Dad had given him unsolicited relationship advice. 

"Maybe you should start thinking about seeing other girls," he had said.

"What? Why?"

"Well, you know how college is."

Davis had stared at him, blank.  

"Yolei is going to want to experiment, live life a little. You can't expect her to stay with her high school boyfriend the whole time."

But he had expected it.  Until his dad has put the thought in his head, spurring on break up number two. 

Davis dug his fingers under a movie poster,  releasing it from the wall with a loud rip.  

"Do you think Jun will be upset you tore up her pictures?" asked Veemon. 

"Ask me if I care."

"Do you care?"

Davis rolled his eyes and proceeded to the next.  Then, out of nowhere, an unwrapped tampon emerged, its string jammed between the poster and the door trim.  

A burst of laughter came out of his nose.  

"How many of these did I put in here?" he cackled. "Hand me my phone. "

Veemon obeyed and, still chuckling to himself,  Davis snapped a picture. On auto-pilot, he opened his texts to Yolei. Then, upon seeing their last exchange, he immediately felt the humor fizzle out of him. 

He sent the picture to Ken instead. 

What is that? Ken texted back. 

Davis gave a long, low sigh and wrote back. 

This is why you can't keep a girlfriend.