#moonfam angst

[quietninjakitty]

Random Coin Theories

Tiadrin was coined first, and the last thing she remembers is the horrified look on Lain’s face. ^^^ Lain thinking that Tiadrin’s dead until Rayla addresses her in season 5

Viren didn’t take the coins out of the bag once until he showed them to Runaan. Lain and Tiadrin’s first glimpse of the world in months was of their best friend chained up. They weren’t aware the other was there.

When Claudia shows Rayla the coins in Umber Tor, they all recognize her immediately, but they’re reluctant to believe their identification is correct. Tiadrin and Lain think that she’s about to get coined. When Rayla talks to the coins, they answer even though they know she can’t hear them. They always tell her they love her, they’re proud to her, and to be safe. Sometimes they add one of those quiet but desperate please’s after they’re back in the bag.

Whenever Rayla has them in the bag, all three are going into full parental worry mode, despite their best efforts. They all have a grasp on the idea that, if Rayla is talking to them, things are quiet (at least for her). That means that any time she doesn’t, things could be going horribly wrong, and she could be in terrible danger.

^^^ The sigh of relief they all breathe when they hear her voice again. And the desperation and fear as she puts them back in the bag. Everyone experiencing extreme parental guilt that, not only are they helpless to keep her safe and/or comfort her, they’re relying on her to save them, something that no child should ever have to deal with. Being aware enough to tell that it’s Rayla, but not being able to see where she is or what’s going on.

Runaan’s the only one who knows they’re in coins and inside a bag. They heard Rayla tell Callum about the coins and admitting how much it hurt her. Everyone forgot they can’t communicate with the outside world and tried to comfort her the best they knew how, before remembering a few seconds later and begging whoever was with her to make her feel better.

Everyone debating with themselves about whether it’s actually Rayla they’re seeing, some sort of trick of the spell, or they’ve just finally gone insane.

The first time they can actually see the other coins. The immense relief that the others are really okay.

Rayla doesn’t know it, but every time she talks to the coins, she’s pulling her family out of whatever nightmares usually take place and giving them a much-needed reprieve.

Tiadrin and Lain’s frustration with the fact that they spent 7 years at the Storm Spire, and the day they’re supposed to get to go back home, they get coined. And now their daughter is right there in front of them, and they can’t talk with her, can’t hug her, can’t make sure she’s okay, can’t comfort her even though she clearly needs it.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

One thing I've noticed is how some people are always villainizing and demonizing Runaan and Ethari, seeing them as nothing but the worst, most awful parents in the show. Saying things like "they don't deserve Rayla or her forgiveness at all." They don't love her or even care about her at all," "she was never important to them." "She deserves better parents who actually love, appreciate, and defend her." While I admit, in all honesty, that I've enormously condemned both of them for the choices and decisions, how they contributed to Rayla's losses, sorrow, and heartbreak, but I feel that it's way too extreme and way too harsh.

But I also believe that they've been obviously hurting and suffocating from the brutality of their horrendous punishments for their own failures. Because I feel that Rayla will be incredibly unforgiving towards them because at some point, she'll have to deeply process and sincerely express all her harsh, angering, heavy, resentful feelings towards Runaan and Ethari. Maybe during these two years, Rayla has probably convinced herself so deeply that they never loved her nor cared about her, and even if they're effortlessly apologizing to her, pouring all heart and soul into every single apology, her mind tells her things such as "disregard every apology they made, do not believe them nor trust them." "Why should she believe them if they never believed her?" Something along those lines.

Just wanted to give my own speculation because, yes, Rayla's had her mistakes, but Runaan and Ethari had even greater failures and bigger wrongdoings. Because I know that the show will address Rayla, not only confronting her own true sentiments towards both of them, but Ethari and Runaan being hit where it really hurts them them the most: with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

This is in no way me hating on them. I adore Runaan and Ethari, but I don't want the show to let them off the hook for how they technically abandoned Rayla because they need to be held accountable and responsible for what happened.

In your honest perspective, BTQ, how do they even go about reconciling and repairing their relationship with Rayla? I genuinely hope that there can love, acceptance and forgiveness again, especially from Rayla. It'll be very hard for her, but I believe all 3 of them will overcome this. I have faith in them.

Apologies for the long post. Much love, fam.

Hey, thanks for your honest thoughts. I think we might have different perspectives on the idea of atonement/forgiveness/redemption, but that's okay. Since you were kind enough to share your thoughts, let me return the favor!

At the heart of my perspective is simply this: the more catholic we are in trying to shame and guilt people into admitting they messed up, the less likely they are to ever admit out loud that they were wrong (even if they want to). And that fear of rejection, of being shamed, keeps real change from getting started.

We get to be mad when we are hurt. We get to advocate for ourselves, to defend ourselves. And Rayla might have some feelings about her dads that she wants to yell at them about. But maybe she doesn't. Maybe she's not even looking back, or maybe it's been resolved and we'll see it in a flashback with Ethari or something. We don't know yet. She hasn't really spoken on the topic, and it might take her a while to do so.

The issue of intent should matter, too. TDP is a hopepunk story, and that carries certain themes that I'd love for more people to look for and enjoy:

resilience - as forgiveness or growth

imperfection - familiar to everyone, messier options and solutions

earnestness - folks are just folks, no evil masterminds

good and evil - not a state of mind but a series of choices

community - everyone still cares for their group/others

As we wait for S5 (and the rest of the series) to drop, it feels a little risky to me to pin so much personal expectation on it to deliver extremely specific emotional rewards like this. S5 was written, gosh, maybe a couple years ago? I don't know exactly, but it's been a minute, and we just got S4 - and its expectations - last November. Animation is a really really long process!

I'm content to wait and see what happens next. TDP doesn't work for me, and they don't have to do what I want, and it's too late to make any S5 changes now anyway, so I will take what I am given and appreciate it for the story it is, actually. I love this show, and I respect the people who work hard to create it. And there's really nothing more I feel I need to add to that, so that's where I'll stop.

Okay, I lied, one last thought! Bahaha.

Rayla already knows what it's like to be mistrusted by her dads. She did get angry at them about it.

For about 10 seconds.

Ethari confessed, and Rayla forgave them and had tea with them, snuggled up safe and sound, at home where she was loved.

It wasn't a big deal. They talked about it, they were honest, and they found a way to move forward together as a family. It took 3 panels - a single page - of BH to address it.

If there is a next time for confrontation, it will probably go at least a bit differently, if for no other reason than Rayla is several years older and has matured as a person. But this is her precedent for conflict resolution with Runaan and Ethari, specifically.

If everyone wants it to work out, it'll probably work out. If someone wants to be Right, or to be a Victim, or to make Drama, then that'll probably happen instead. But I covered my expectations up in the hopepunk stuff, so that's what I'm expecting from anything similar: everyone will at least want to resolve their grievances.

[ask-ethari-anything]

I love this hug with you and Rayla so much 💕. I imagine you would give anything to have this again.

*Almost* anything.

[ask-runaan-anything]

If ever see Rayla again all grown up, what would be the first thing to tell her and how would you react to her all grown up?

That entirely depends on whether I get to be there for the growing... but I think we're both assuming I'm not.

I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to contain myself, little shadow. Seeing Rayla alive and well, perhaps even thriving, after having to survive my foolish choices and the bottleneck of honor and duty we suffered together... I might actually smile and tear up and reach out to hug her without even asking.

I do hope Ethari is there to restrain me making such a silly fool of myself. But I love my stabby daughter, and all I've ever wanted for her is a good life. Whether I'm there to see it or not.

[silkiecorn]

Hello Moonberry!

Just trying some light textures :)

[no-cinnamon-for-synonym]

Intrusive thoughts be like, "haha what if you wrote a fic where Rayla is adopted by Ruthari at a very young age and then years later (when Rayla is still wee/wee-ish) Ethari dies and Runaan has to be the one there for her even though he is mourning too, but that doesn't matter because Rayla is the only thing that matters and she is inconsolable."

[0multifandomweirdo0]

Sometimes, I'm just worried that Rayla can save just souls of her beloved because it's too late for them

[1lovepeace]

@ladyandherbooks Everything about this is what I've been waiting for since the very beginning of the show. I still do believe that Ethari will be in S5, and he will meet up with the Dragang, whether it in the beginning, middle, or towards the end of the season. I want more than anything for him to reunite and reconcile his bond with Rayla. It'll be filled with such heavy emotions and so much feelings, lots of crying, humongous apologies, tremendous guilt and regrets, enormous shame and remorse, but with much needed emotional comfort, stability, support, and reassurance that both of them have been deprived and isolated from for those long years. Ethari has so much repairing to do with his daughter, and you know he'll be willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to her, no matter how long it takes. To show her that she's more important to him than anything. I just want to see Ethari just wrapping his daughter up in a big, long, wordless, silent hug. I have faith that this'll happen. Ethari could do so much good with the Dragang. But, more importantly, both he and Rayla deserve to mend and heal together, and have each other in their lives again, as well as knowing that they have a chance to free and see their family again after everything.

This also gets me excited about the possibility of some important and significant flashbacks/ backstories being told by Ethari and Rayla themselves and through their perspectives. I really hope that we get to see this. I have faith that the writers will find a way to do it justice. I can't wait to see what Season 5 has in store for us with Rayla and how she will parallel with Runaan from S1, in both good and bad ways. This will absolutely be her time to shine, and I'm so here for it. Let's Go Season 5. 😱🤗🥺😢😭😬😯💔❤️👍🌊🌊🎉🎉.

Season 5 Moon Family Things

Okay, so this first set of screenshots from season 5 has got me thinking, especially after seeing Rayla with Runaan's bowblade, which I absolutely love.

I'm now hoping and predicting that we get a Moon family flashback episode. Rayla having and carrying around Runaan's weapon could easily set up this type of episode, e.g. Rayla looks at/holds the bowblade/takes it apart one evening and she begins to remember a specific moment/day in her life with Runaan, Ethari and maybe even Lain and Tiadrin. Like her time living with Runaan and Ethari and training with Runaan or maybe even a very young Rayla flashback where a very little Rayla takes an interest in Runaan's bowblade and Runaan teaches her something/they have a sweet moment together.

Next, since Rayla is going back to Katolis for a short period of time it also means that she's going past the Silvergrove. So I really hope that she can get a message to Ethari about the coins so that he's aware that his family is alive and that she's on a quest to free them. She could easily get Zubeia to fly to the Silvergrove and summon Ethari so that she can give him the message. I just don't want Rayla to not tell Ethari as he not only has a right to know it will also prevent the shock he has when Runaan's flower floats to the surface when he is freed (if he is still in the Silvergrove at this point). I also want something like this to happen as otherwise the shot of Runaan's partially sunken flower in 3x03 is somewhat wasted if Ethari never sees it for himself, in my opinion at least.

And who knows, maybe if we're really lucky we'll get an Ethari short story as part of the latest batch of short stories. Since they all have a connection to water it would not be surprising if we got a story about Runaan's flower in the pool in front of their home.

And if we're really lucky Ethari and Rayla might even run into each other towards the end of the season (one can only hope even if it is unlikely).

Finally, this screenshot

This makes me think that in season 5 Rayla is going to be the most Runaan-like that she ever has and potentially ever will be. Her quest to save him as well as Lain and Tiadrin will make her channel her inner Assassin leader Runaan and she'll be more driven, take more control, have no time for nonsense, potentially grumpier and will become very stubborn. We'll see more parallels between her and Runaan from early in season 1. In both good and bad ways.

[quietninjakitty]

Okay, at the beginning of TTM, Rayla mentions that the new moon is only three days away. If the full moon was on July 14 (aka, the day before Callum's b-day), then what was the date at the beginning of the book? Because if it was very early July, then...

What if Rayla stayed up late thinking because it was her father's birthday? (For anyone reading this who doesn't know, it's July 2.)

When Runaan was doing the binding ritual (in May), he said that Thunder was killed "four full moons past", which I believe translates to four months ago. Which would make the attack on the Storm Spire in January. (I'm not entirely sure how the timing of that works, since they called it Winter's Turn, and it was still very cold, but that isn't the point of this post.) And it's canon that Zym was supposed to hatch the day of the attack.

Tiadrin's birthday is December 23. No matter how the timing of the attack works, it still would've been spent at the Storm Spire.

And we already know that communication between the Spire (and Dragonguard) and the Silvergrove is possible (see the post on the official TDP website for Rayla's birthday traditions.), so wouldn't Rayla have gotten some sort of notification that the Dragon Prince was close to being born and her parents would be coming home soon? And depending on how early that was sent, then they would've known that one of her parents' birthdays would be the first one they spent together. And I think it's reasonable to assume that it was something along the lines of "we might get home for Tiadrin's, but we'll definitely be there for Lain's".

And they would've gotten home for Lain's. Zym would've been hatched half a year before, and they would've been completely relieved of their duties by then. And despite the way things turned out, Rayla still knows what they were supposed to be doing during that summer and spring. What they were supposed to be doing on her dad's birthday, and later, hers.

And literally the only reason that they weren't is the man whose body had (extremely suspiciously) disappeared, sending all her assassin's training and common sense to one simple conclusion. That something was off and required further investigation.

Bodies don't just disappear.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Ethari & Rayla (The Dragon Prince) Additional Tags: Sad, Angst and Feels, Family Feels, Regret, Guilt, Loneliness, just another tdp birthday

Summary: Ethari sets up a lovely little celebration for Rayla's birthday.

[ask-runaan-anything]

What are you thoughts and feeling towards Rayla as in the coin right now?

She's just a child. She couldn't have known what was going to happen. And I always knew how my story would end. But now she has to live with knowing that she's the one who ended it. That's a heavy burden for one so young.

She shouldn't have to carry that. And the fact that she has to, at day's end - at every day's end, over and over and over - is on me.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

ooh hmm yes good

As far as Runaan knows, Rayla is safe and alive and very possibly at home with Ethari thanks to his sacrifice, while Lain and Tiadrin are still in coins like he is. He gave his life to save Rayla, but he could do nothing for Laindrin but join them.

gang I'm gonna be honest I'm much more invested in how Runaan will react to Lain and Tiadrin as opposed to how he'll react to Rayllum. Those are his best friends, and not only was he and his village severely wrong about what they thought they did--their entire morals--but they were condemned to the same horrible dark magic prison that he had just suffered through. Give me the messy Moonfam feelings!!

[silkiecorn]

A traumatising au i made where instead of them being 16-17 when Rayla was almost assassinated, they would be like 7 years old

[numptypylon]

The bowl wasn’t where it was supposed to.

Or… it was, was the thing.

Since… Runaan… he hadn’t bothered to but his porridge bowl in the bottom cabinet, because he just used the same single one every morning and left it to air dry. Runaan, for all his amazing qualities, had been wanting in clutter-tolerance.

And yet, the bowl was in the bottom cabinet.

Ethari had thought… the food that had gone missing… that adoraburrs had gotten into the house or the neighbor’s bottomless pit of a 13-year-old boy had gotten hungry and snuck in.

But now…?

There wasn’t a single thing not where it was supposed to be.

But once he had seen that bowl in the bottom cabinet, where it was supposed to go but hadn’t, he saw other things.

An indent in the couch cushions, not big enough to have been his arse. And besides, he never sat there in the couch because that had been her spot-

Hair on his brush too long to have been his.

Missing teeth cleaner pods.

A rag at the bottom of the laundry basket with a pinkish stain that made his stomach clench.

Ethari got a mirror-polished, wide-bladed dagger from the forge, before heading upstairs.

The bed in Rayla’s room made too well, too carefully, too recently.

Footsteps in the layer of dust on the floor.

Marks in the dust, like from her old toy chest Lain and him had made for her, having been pulled out from under the bed.

Nothing missing though, everything was in its place.

It was definitely her. Who else would have broken into his house and left barely a trace and slept in his child’s bed and then made the bed and looked at her things without taking anything.

Ethari’s fingers graced the soft fur of her old winter hat that he’d pretended he didn’t know she had kept.

There had been so much pretense. Maybe if there’d been less, she-

Ethari bit down on the choking thing in his throat, and pretended, for a bit longer, because he had brought the dagger for a reason and maybe… maybe he had time to find her still, to stop her, this time, from going off on a dark path she was too young and too good for.

But there was nothing, just mirrored reflections of empty corners and empty beds.

She was already gone.

———

The second of a series of drabbles about Rayla during the time skip, from various characters’ pov that she encounters, or in this case, doesn’t. First was Nyx, it’s in the [outside in] tag

There's a few references in this to the Silvergrove chapter of Upside Downtime, my Rayla pov missing canon scenes fic. That chapter can be read without reading the rest of the fic, if you want more moonfam angst.

[1lovepeace]

This is what we've been waiting for since the very beginning. All the unspeakable hurt, pain, angst, and sorrow that's waiting for Runaan once he's freed from the coin. It's gonna hit much harder, way stronger, and so much deeper for him. Because there's gonna be heavy and massive tension between him and the others. Facing the lashing storm of anger not only from Callum but also from Ethari and Rayla. I want to see this happening so badly. I wanna see both of them not holding back from the feelings of anger, betrayal, mistrust, and condemnation they have towards Runaan. For he has a lot of apologies to make to the two elves he loves most and the ones he hurt most.

These confrontations are gonna be jam-packed with so much tension, and I'm so here for it. 😬👀

listen y'all, as much as I love the fact that Runaan and Raylas reunion is coming closer to canon, we need to address the fact that Callum most likely wont take it well because in case you forgot Runaan KILLED IS STEPDAD!

[ask-ethari-anything]

Ethari... will I ever be able to come back home?

*sad soft dad noises* I failed you, Rayla, but I'm going to make it right. If I can't make the Silvergrove listen to me after everything you've done for Xadia, then... Then it's not worth calling home anymore, and I'll find you a new one.

Or, if you've already found somewhere new to belong, I want you to know that you'll always be welcome in my heart, no matter where I am. Always.