#since theyre not in HD

[a-monster-in-paris]

Ah! So photogenic!

[prilita]

the fuck??????? 😥until a few months ago, i was able to use the hd recording quality option on screenrec. the first time i used it which was a few years ago, it offered ginormous storage. now it's all part of a premium plan and im supposed to use 740p quality with 2gb online storage forever.

you get it. tech is going to suck on people like maggots on rot for profit profit profit etc etc. this is just genuinely sad. apps that were perfectly fine are now nightmare ghouls screeching subscribe subscribe subscribe!!!! not donate but subscribe!!

alright bye im too sad to cuss with my whole pussy now.

[satsuha]

o right i can now say i've played every 3D loz game 👍 starting with botw in 2020 i played the other 6 almost back to back starting with totk from may to november 2023... it was a really nice experience like as someone who kept insisting i was too much of a noob to play anything that isn't surmountable with grinding i definitely feel more confident (?) now

i think my favourite is wind waker it's the first of the older games i played since i always liked the toon link style but it's just so charming and had the best ganon and king of hyrule by far imo... twilight princess comes very close for being a very Full feeling hyrule and i'm appreciating ocarina of time more as time passes for the foundations it laid for both story and gameplay

here is a handy little visual for which ones ive played and the order since all my homies love charts and diagrams

[yikessims]

The Santiago's farm.

Owned by Maxwell, under the care of the owner and son, Marcus. (RIP)

-Photo taken 11 years ago.

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

[shadowblade8192]

funny idea: instead of watching dr who in chronological order by broadcast date like normal, or watching it in chronological order by time period they travel to like that one other post, what if you watch it in chronological order by release date of the dvds (go off the bbc dvd ids)

for example, robots of death (original not special edition) is bbc dvd 1012, which would then (i think) be followed by vengeance on varos (original) at bbc dvd 1044

you would eventually detour to the orhpaned episodes in the lost in time box set (bbc dvd 1353) and after a few more classic serials you watch nuwho series one (bbc dvd 1770)

around series 6-7 of nuwho would be when you stop seeing anything outside of nuwho and first and second doctors, except that after nuwho series 10 you then watch the 2017 part-animated version of shada, before going back to watch the series 10 christmas special

it would end with watching the underwater menace, then the 60th anniversary specials, then the toymaker serial, and then series 14

[raisinchallah]

contemplating the various reasons for xena being forgotten while its peers like buffy or the x files still have thriving fandoms.. its many factors but i think one it stopped being seen as a show on its own merits and became kind of a punchline and joke about lesbians in wider pop culture like it was popular it was mainstream it was regularly beating star trek in syndication and was regularly the most popular action show in international purchasing rights it was broadcast all over the world and now poof like it never existed i think a few of the problems are its been sparse on streaming for yeaars and thats how many people watch these shows secondly its not had an hd remaster and especially season one probably looks atrocious on a huge tv and the wonky old cgi probably doesnt help since so many sci fi fantasy fans seem to be weirdly difficult about bad effects anyways we need to work to get doctor who fans into xena theyre the only ones who wont say a peep about it but anyways the fact all its seen as is this lesbian show had i think two effects which is random straight viewers are not going to seek it out even if idk they loved the witcher or some other recent fantasy action adventure show its just not classed with that anymore so it loses that mainstream element it cant be part of general nerd fandom cuz its just that weird gay show and also frankly i think a lot of queer women watched the show not necessarily cuz they liked it but because it was kind of seen as like one of the few gay shows out there u see lots of women saying like now that i can watch the L word what do i need xena for when theyre like wildly different shows then compounding that with the extremely controversial finale that lead a lot of people to leave fandom feel totally heartbroken about it i think really didnt help the continuity and longevity of an already contracting fandom like season 5 was hated but also really hard to watch lots of articles on whoosh people discussing waking up at like 3am to record xena episodes cuz they were broadcast at crazy times and many countries tv networks stopped buying it or suddenly delaying release by like 8 months which was terrible for people involved in internet fandom now suddenly being way behind everyone else so way fewer people were watching the final seasons a lot more people didnt like major parts of them and it really splintered fandom as well as many people stuck by the show out of this sense of uniqueness but there were not long after xena a trickle of more gay characters and gay shows on television and with many people who felt toyed with and would be like oh they never confirmed xena and gabrielle and xena died horribly i prefer to watch the L word which doesnt toy with you about them being lesbians etc real opinions ive seen out there anyways i think these problems compound idk gay internet fandom is fickle and has often jumped between the various hot new things in a way that makes it hard to keep xena going it never really transitioned as a fandom into like the ff.net and livejournal era in a significant way and has struggled for relevance since and ultimately for reasons outlined above i think its struggled to be seen as anything other than that gay show and is viewed only in that lens its not seen as a fun complex action adventure show with fun meta elements and genre experimentation that boldly reinvents itself every few seasons but also it has failed to take hold in the one community it would continue to entice i do also think the fact of it seeming like a holdover and well the black stain of the concept of queerbait also perhaps didnt help it seemed out of date old fashioned compared to idk the hot new random gay characters on tv cuz nobody wanted to fucking tell people and remember how crazy insane and good and like bone deep thematically gay xena is and like is also just good fucking tv and also people just dont respect women thats the truth people dont care about stuff about women… ok my theoriez.. thanks for ur time

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[t0bey]

sorry!! I meant the new storymode chapter for idv that came out!

ohh i see! ty for clarifying ^^ forgive me bc this is gonna be long and i have MANY thoughts

i actually really loved this episode a lot?? in terms of actual gameplay content i think i even enjoyed this more than TOR, (excluding out of game elements of the event like the animations) and considering my main gripes with episode 1 was how short it was, this ep being 50+ minutes in total definitely solved that problem i had!!

i really enjoy the pacing of everything so far, even if im kind of confused on if our choices actually impact anything? i think part of it is explained by orpheus clearly trying to manipulate what alice does in certain parts of the game like confronting frederick, but others seem like its just the option of choices getting in the way of the game's v obvious linear storytelling lol. i hope that the choices that affect relationships actually serve a purpose long-term

i was wondering how they were going to include mary in the main lore considering for years she's only really been a retelling of marie antoinette's history, but honestly? i love that they fleshed her out into her own character being mary de capet instead of just marie antoinette, and she has her own lore with the racecourse and frederick too. i loved the chase between her and alice sm, and it was interesting how it turned out that in actuality it was *frederick* that alice was hallucinating as mary

anyways mary showing up in HD and having a badass entrace was very cool

also i think everyone knew frederick was going to be taken out somehow and i like that its very open ended what happened to him so far? personally think he might've gotten killed or something after alice fainted at the racecourse, since his stuff was still in his room + Norton is very obviously his replacement at the end (him sitting in fred's chair). plus i think game participants only get replaced if they die, like what happened with servais replacing murro after he got killed by naib

I was REALLY hyped to see the secret medicine lab return from TOR!! and i like that alice used the same rat testing method detective did back then too lol. what really piqued my interest was realizing that when she starts hallucinating and runs away from fool's gold, it wouldn't make sense bc she wouldn't have met him until breakfast the next day. but then when you look at the figure who forced her to drink the drugs to knock her out, if u look close enough it's clearly Norton.

seems like he is working with orpheus at least to the degree that he knows what to do down in the lab by himself, which is interesting and explains why alice would hallucinate FG before actually being introduced to norton the next day.

also considering orpheus chloroformed alice while she was hallucinating before she woke up strapped to the chair and norton made her forget what happened, p much spells theyre working together imo?

overall i really like that this episode leaves you with just as many questions as it did answers (mainly about frederick) and im very curious how they explore melly and orpheus's ACTUAL involvement in the manor games, considering its p obvious theyre both lying to alice in the bedroom scene. have my thoughts on orpheus's actual deal w the forest ranger he mentions but this post is already long enough lol. i hope melly gets more spotlight next episode 🙏

[r-ottweiler]

what are some of your headcanons for the heathers characters? or do you just stick to canon?

I have plenty of my own headcanons

This gives me an excuse to write them all down actually, lmao

Sometimes i stick to the canon, Othertimes i use my own versions of them. I think all the heathers art i have posted so far has been a mix.

Anywho, Long list of my headcanons underneath. (I am learning to use tumblr features this is cool)

I project alot onto these characters, So these may not be very canon. As implied by them being headcanons.

Heather Chander : (Mentions of CSA, labelled with "ONE" beginning. Skip if needed)

She's a silly little narc and i love her for it. Me for real

Absolutely privelleged. Her family is rich, white, she's heterosexual/romantic (Presenting at least. She's a little bicurious, Sure.) ...

I tend to see alot of "This heather is her favourite" Headcanons, But i typically dont agree. Her "favourite" changes based on how useful they are being to her at the moment. But even then I just dont think she has favourites. She both hates and loves them all equally. (hates a little more than loves lmao)

She is an only child, Which led to her being way too independent for her skills, Which leads her to never ask for help since she "Didnt need it as a child, So why would she need it now?".

!!!!ONE!!!!! Her parents didnt really pay attention to her as a child, So she found it from other people. Particularly a certian family friend. She didnt tell her parents about what was happening untill said family friend made a joke about him and heather when she was ~7, Which led to family friend being cut off. Her parents didnt deem it important enough to get her therapy, or any form of help, She had minimal support.

Her act of love language is physical touch(Giving) and gift giving(Receiving)

She is 5'8

If you want a condescending petname she is your go-to. Each heather has their own little nickname that she uses. Occasionally endearingly. Most of the time, mocking and/or condescending.

Very silly girl indeed.

Heather Duke : (SH mentioned beginning with "ONE", skip if needed)

Evil BPD haver . Evil evil evil evi

This isnt a headcanon of mine but i like the poc representation with her. I dont like how the musical did it but the fan content is nice to see

She's queer, but (if she ever were to be open about it) she just labels herself as "Whatever is most convenient at the time".

!!ONE She does cut occasionally, Sometimes because she thinks the scars are pretty and for pity points from dumb people to get what she wants ++but she also does it sometimes because of disordered stuff (linked with BPD headcanon) and other things

personal beef with drama kids. thats all. She thinks theyre annoying as fuck and will take any chance she gets to piss one of them off

Pretty privellege. She just has to pout and any desperate guy will give her what she wants

Heather Mcnamara : (SH mentioned beginning with "ONE", skip if needed)

She is not nice. That's it. Thats the headcanon.

Very passive aggressive when she wants to be. Less with her ''friends'' but she's still kind of an ass.

BPD+NPD . Little loser

She smokes weed . She thinks that perfume hides the scent but she just walks around smelling like weed and lemons. Makes her very recognisable, Though

She's probably kissed heather duke more than twice. Who knows?

Also pretty privellege.

!!ONE She also cuts, but much more than HD does, and mainly only because of disorder linked issues.

her fp is heather duke!

She cannot swim. Only heather chandler knows this, And she wants to murder her everytime its brought up.

cannot spell restaurant. do better. (she spells it as resturant, will not correct herself as 'thats how it sounds')

she CAN however, Skateboard. She only learnt when she was ~13, she has never attempted it after 15, Because she thinks its weird, and looks dumb.

Veronica :

my silly npd autist weirdo. i hate her

If she doesnt see her drink being made every step of the way or make it herself, She will not drink it. She doesnt even know why. She has paranoia around it.

Has punched holes in her walls. Albeit mostly accidentally.

She has anger issues. Alot of things annoy and agitate her.

Shorter than heather chandler by 1 inch and she never hears the end of it. She's slapped HC over it before. Also never hears the end of that.

She's intersex!

She can play the guitar, But she doesnt do it much. She's only really played it for heather mcnamara once or twice, Otherwise she just does it to de-stress and calm down on her own.

These are only the girls, and only afew of my favourite headcanons, But i have plenty of my own little headcanons for other characters.

[girls4etho]

went back and found all the ez charts i was missing i am so good at game

heres my full stats rn btw ^_^ absolutely no idea why i have 7 more hd clears ??

[souvlki]

finally got to wafch maxxxine nd bitch wtf iy was so anticlimactic. i am so disappointed.

reviwe n some spoilers under

it was so far frm what i expected (except the ending w the dad n his cult thingy) the ending felt rlly mild nd lacked intensity and i do think the usgae of guns is what made it feel that way. i expectef knives bc i thought it wld be a slasher film given the setting jn the 80s when serial killers were so common at that time and i exoected thm to do that kindof trope. i do like the few references frm pearl and x i got excited everytime i recognzied yhem.

i do hav to rewatch it cuz i watched a pirated vers of it since theyr not airing it in my country :(( so i hav to wait for the hd n actually appreciate the visuals n understand waht they were saying in the movi a lil more. but maxxxine wld be my least fav. i am so sad. it fekt very empty.

still lov the trilogy tho n mia goth ofc

[shiftyyyy]

Howdy, two things for this ask. Number one, adore your art. Kinda feels like a proper HD remaster of the Sprunki sprites with the strong edge shading, all around shape of the bodies, the arms are well input, and you translated the expressions damn near perfectly. Dead Tunner's face looks like he's actually dead or heavily disoriented, and not like he's mildly confused. Keep it up, and if I could, I'd commission you.

Second is some epic facts about my version of Tunner.

He's a full blown cowboy, and the strongest of the group. Because he has many guns, and he can shoot them with damn near perfect accuracy.

He's the reason why Mr. Sun (A major antagonist) is dead. Sun killed the cattle at his ranch, Tunner stayed up to see who did, Mr. Sun came again, tried killing Tunner, Tunner showed Mr. Sun his 2nd amendment rights, and now Mr. Sun is dead.

1: OH MY GOD THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I LOOKED AT MY PHONE WHEN I GOT THIS ASK OGMGMGMYMYMY,!?!!!2? THSIS IS ONE OF THE BEST COMPLIMENTS I COULD EVER GET THIS IS GENUINELY SO SO SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET OVER THIS ASK I ADORE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED IT OMG?? YPU REALLY MADE YOUR COMPLIMENT SEEM REALLY GENUINE ANS I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR IT AAGGHRHHH IM IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS WITH HAPPINESS IM SO OVERJOYED BECAUSE OF THIS !! HEHEHEH THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME DRAWING TUNNER IM GLAD TO KNOW THAT I REPRESENTED THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WELL!!! AND I CANT BELIEVE U SEE THE ART AS OFFICIAL RENDERS TOO! THE FACT U SAID YOU WOULD PAY FOR ART BY ME MAKES ME SMILE SOSOSOSOS MUCHHH <:-) !! I REALLY DONT THINK I HAVE ENOUGH TALENT TO DO COMMISSIONS HONESTLY I JUST MAKE STUFF FOR FREE!! I DO HAVE A PAYPAL BUT I NEVER USE IT BECAUSE I WANNA BE ABLE TO DRAW FOR EVERYONE MONEY OR NOT!! THANK YOU AGAIN YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MOTIVATES ME!!! THIS IS ON MY MIND 24/7 NOW, YALL ARE GENUINELY THE SWEETEST LITTLE CREATURES </3 IM SMILING SO MUCH OVER THIS IM THINKING ABOUT THIS 24/7 NOW AAHDRHEJFHRHWHHRHERH 1!1!1!1!1!1 YOUR GUYS COMPLIMENTS STAY INDENTED IN MY BRAIN ANS LIVE RENT FREE IN MY MIND YOU ALL MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYU

2: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD TUNNER RANTING!??1!1!2 IM SO DOWN IM HIS BIGGEST FAN EVEBRBRG HEHEEHHEHEHE DUDE UR VERSION OF TUNNER IS GENUINELY SO COOL??? I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH ALOT OF YOUR HCS I FW THEM SO HARD! HE DEF IS A COWBOY NO DOUBT, AND I CAN ALSO SEE HIM BEING THE STRONGEST OF THEM ALL!! HE PROLLY IS SUPER GOOD WITH GUNS HIS AIM WOULD TOTALLY BE CRAZY GOOD! I ALWAYS SAW HIM OWNING SOME KIND OF HORSE TOO BUT I WOMT RAMBLE TOO MUCH ON HOW I SEE HIM SINCE I WANT PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR IDEA BECAUSE ITS SO FRICKIN COOL AND AWESOME!! ESPECIALLY CUZ OF HOW YOU SEE TUNNER BEING THE REASON MR. SUN IS DEAD OGMRJEHFJEKFK?? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT THATS SOSOSOSO COOL DUDE JAW DROPPED UR SO CREATIVE!! RIP MR. SUN THO LOLOLOLO XD MESS WITH TUNNER, GET THOSE GUNS!! GOD YOUR HEADCANNONS ARE SO COOL ID BE OPEN TO HEAR ANY MORE OF THEM U COME UP WITH AWESOME IDEAS LIKE HONESTLY THEYRE VERY VERY COOL!! TYSM FOR RANTING ABOUT TUNNER I LOVE TO HEAR PPLZ HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM TO BITS KEEP UP UR AWESOME WORK TOO DUDE UR AWESOME THANK YOU FOR THE ASK! :-))))

[away-ward]

Thank you for your reply, KO! This is the anon from #asked and answered 176.

1 yes i like your fics, i like no apologies the most because we had insights to emmy's career and life in sf. Emmy might find herself boring, but ive always been a busy body reader so i would eat up everything about her personal and professional life in sf. I still hated will there, but thanks to you i hated him 5% less

2 "Ummm. I do think it’s a little weird that you’ve read multiple PD books, and even finished the DN series… especially since you were looking forward to Will. Because I hated Will for the first three books and if I weren’t curious about Emory, I wouldn’t have finished the series at all."

KO, you've underestimated a loyal hate reader's journey of hate reading 😂 i love pd's writing and i love some of their books that were not DN because of the chemistry of the main lovers (theyre not bad as many have said actually), but i still hated the ongoing misogynistic dynamic that they always had in their books. Its like having an author that you majorly like what they do, but their side mistakes were big enough to irritate you so you remember them, kinda thing. Do you have these kinds of author that feel like this towards? To answer this simply: pd's books are like worms for brain for me. Like when i read books by Colleen hoover, or hd carlton, sophie lark, lauren asher, or susanne valnti &peckham. It's the kind of toxicity you need from time to time but still get mad and disappointed by your low expectation at their shit ass plot and mfcs and fmcs anyway, yk. 

KO, i cant lie, im just a hater first, a hate reader second and a reader third 🤣 once i stop, i cnat quit. Like damon torrance, that punk ass devils night philosopher said, sometimes you just want to feel everything including the ugly ones you know, and like michael crist the logician, you just gotta own it, before it owns you, GOD HAHAHAH i cant believe im using them as my metaphors right now!! Please bare with me here.

3 "I also find it equally weird that your first impulse after finishing a series you hate is to go to the tag of the character you hated the most? I mean, I’ve definitely clicked on hot-takes I know I’m going to disagree with and hate-read things, but it’s not my go-to."

hmm? KO, i think... youre just not as toxic of a reader than me, ohmygod, im so sorry! 🤣☠️ im really of those people that will immideately look up one and two star ratings on goodreads so that i know my feelings and thoughts were validated by other haters, lmao! Do not mind me, its not a good thing, but like damon torrance said, live, love, laugh, and hate, you know 🤩

4 thank you so much for your recs, i also actually grew up watching hana yori dongo! I watched the kdrama version too but idk if i'll watch the thai version. I have less patient for dramas now unfortunately, and the last drama i watched was "celebrity" on netflix, and i still havent finished it, even after 3 month ☠️ I used to love kdramas and lee minho was so popular back then, so i also watched him in "the heirs" too. Ohmygod his hairsyles in both dramas (boys over flowers and the heirs) were so funny, but i remember enjoying these stories a lot. I believe these two kdramas were released during the time where kdramas were having a lot more angsty romantic relationship than platonic ones and they both stood out among many others, not only because of lee minho, park shinhye and bunch of k-idols acting there, but also because of the friendships and platonic relationships shown that were fun to watch. It's a break from other dramas like moon embracing the sun, or my love from another star that were romance-heavy, yk. But tbh, i prefer my love from another star and moon embracing the sun more than bof/hyd and the heirs. If there are two recs i'd like to give you, they would be "hotel del luna" and "sky castle". God damn, i cried in every single episode watching these two dramas. They really touched my soul, everything was so good!

5 i havent scrolled through your blog and notice your recs for sempre, but from your recs, i checked and saw its goodreads rating and it's pretty high! Maybe i'll check it out if im interested. Seems like a mafia gang story? I need to be in the mood to be reading mafia stories because my first ones were from reading kpop mafia fanfics from years ago and the latest and the last one were the made series by danielle lori. The made series were entertaining but i noticed that i didnt care much about mafias? Hahahahah idk, and idc much about vampires, and wolf stories either, but i like faes. Not Sarah j maas type of faes, but holly black's and cassandra clare's. The ones that are beautiful, creepy, complicated and loves/have to lie but cant. So yeah, thanks for recommending sempre!

6 as for alex, im tired of her, and honestly i dont want to think about her anymore. I'll pretend nightfall alex never existed, and nightfall will grayson fucking died a gruesome death, becoming of two stupid selfish best friends who think theyre the only suffering in this world. You know this reminded me of a quote by madeline miller's Circe that really fits will's selfish behaviour especially in blackchurch: “He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none.” thats exctly how i felt throughout blackchurch. Because emmy always had to heavylift whatever bullshit that alexwillaydin put out to her. And as someone who was so used to just move forward and not caring about her small losses because she had suffered worse, emmy just had to act like she was okay with all the little hurts and cruelty cause by people, just because she loved them/will and wanted to not give up on him and give him a second chance, because he was hurting and she understood that he cared then (🙄). Good thing, she admitted she was at fault partly too, but god, i hated when she felt like she need to go above and beyond for a man who admitted didnt care enough about her. Gods, these mf men need therapy frfr.

7 "I truly am sorry that it was such a bad experience for you. You’re welcome to stick around, but I’m sure since you hated so much, you’re ready to move on after unloading like that. But it’s all good either way. I hope you’re on to better and better things." 

No need to be sorry, but you're right, i'm starting some new reads right now, and idk why, but kandi steiner, liz tomforde and laura pavlov really do be hitting with their releases!! Like their stories are not dark romance so tat cleansed me from devils night series a bit, and they are so fun to read! They gave me melanie harlow's vibes. If anyone's interested, i suggest checking out Blindside by Kandi Steiner, Right Move by Liz Tomforde, and all of these four authors backlogs tbh. Kandi Steiner even have like a college frat series? Which i havent checked out but it sounds fun, and its called Palm South University series.

I dont have anything else to add as well, thank you for reading my rants, have a nice day! I think this will be my last one, so goodbye!

KO, you've underestimated a loyal hate reader's journey of hate reading

Hey!! Okay. This is very helpful! Thank you for the insight. I’m not a stranger to hate watching/reading and (used to) do it frequently. And I would complain to all my friends about all the horrible stuff that was happening, but they knew I was having a good time.

It’s harder when I don’t really know who I’m talking to, to tell if I should take it seriously or if they’re enjoying the trash like me. We’re completely on the same page in that case so ignore very thing I said about not getting it. If you’re having a good time hating it, I got you!

i think... youre just not as toxic of a reader than me, ohmygod, im so sorry!

I might not be anymore but I definitely used to be, ngl. And I don’t know if you can end up running a DN blog without having some toxicity left in you??? I mean. We’re not here because this work was a masterpiece, am I right?

I don’t currently have any authors I must read/hate-read. Like I’ve said, I haven’t had the time to get into a lot of new stuff lately, and my tastes have changed. They could always change back, since reading is a mood-based activity. For now, though, I’ve left the dark and toxic behind for something that makes me feel good about the world.

i also actually grew up watching hana yori dongo! I watched the kdrama version too but idk if i'll watch the thai version. I have less patient for dramas now unfortunately

Oh my god the Kdrama! It was my first Kdrama. Fond memories. And no worries, I haven’t touched any drama in years. Truthfully, I think the only reason I can get into the Thai version is because of the familiarity.

but from your recs, i checked and saw its goodreads rating and it's pretty high! Maybe i'll check it out if im interested. Seems like a mafia gang story?  

It is, kinda? But it’s really layered, with a good plot and great characters. I could ramble about it for a while, but I don’t think anyone is interested currently, so I won’t burden you with it 😂

holly black's and cassandra clare's

I did really like the folk of the air series, and I read the spiderwick chronicles in middle school, but I haven’t gone back to holly black in a long time. I did want to read the new one but haven’t had the chance.

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Oof Alex. Now that I know where you’re coming from, I can completely agree. I’ve been re-reading and analyzing her intro in Nightfall and how weird it was; how it derailed everything in the worse way. Sometimes, when writers are stuck on where to go with a scene or plot, there’s a tactic that’s recommended: have someone walk in with a gun. It causes enough of a upheaval to keep the plot moving. I’m not sure if that was what Alex was supposed to do, but it really didn’t work for me for a lot of reasons.

Because emmy always had to heavylift whatever bullshit that alexwillaydin put out to her. And as someone who was so used to just move forward and not caring about her small losses because she had suffered worse, emmy just had to act like she was okay with all the little hurts and cruelty cause by people,

Yes! She had to work so hard just for a little, and what killed me the most is reading her scenes where she agrees with them.

She has the moments of clarity, where it seems she remembers why she did what she did, and she's not sorry, and that she wasn’t to blame for what happened to Will. Then next minute… she’s back to blaming herself for no reason? I’ve said many times before that Emory’s guilt is misplaced, and at certain times, it can’t be ignored that it was really PD pushing this “Emory deserves this” narrative, but I just can’t jive with it at all. There's a question on her good reads page where she says that she thinks Will is the most justified in his hatred.

And just... no. He's not. Literally none of them were justified in their hatred. They had the right to feel wronged. Sometimes we feel wronged, even if we carry some of the blame for what happened. But to say they were justified is just over the line. I really wish PD had more balance when it come to assigning blame. I think this series would have benefitted if one of the themes of the story was that everyone makes decisions, and right or wrong, we have to living with them. These are the consequences.

Like their stories are not dark romance so tat cleansed me from devils night series a bit, and they are so fun to read!

Yeah, it’s always nice to find something new that works! Thanks for the recs. I hope if anyone is looking, they’ll look them up. Sorry I didn’t have more strong female friendships, but they can be tough to find in todays romance climate.

I totally get you not coming back. It was absolutely a blast talking to you and thanks for the clarification! It always helps.

Have a great one, KO

[usalock]

thank you bethany @silkchiffon for the tag 💌

last song: ailleurs by andre popp, from the tintin and the golden fleece soundtrack :]

currently watching: still slowly making my way through columbo…. also been watching lots of old waypoint streams lol

currently reading: house of leaves + hellboy: the right hand of doom

currently playing: pathologic classic hd 💉🐀🌾 am midway through the bachelor route but truthfully it has been a minute since i last booted it up

current obsession: honestly i dont think i have one at present…. i’m into a lot of things but i don’t think i’d call them Obsessions. i do get obsessed with certain aspects of these things and some of them make me crazy etc etc but it’s mostly in sporadic and short-lived bursts . im not consistently engaging in a way that the word ‘obsession’ implies. so

tagging @saccharinarocks @partitioyellowil @gluegunshots @sofhtie + anybody else who sees and wants to talk about what theyre into :)

[icras]

ive been trying to make myself go and get a diagnosis but like where do i even start??? i looked it up and its just like oh yea find a psychiatrist!! okay… where. like how? do i email them? ig but also idk where to even find one and it has to be in my city too cuz theres no way im going out of town for anything. ALSO i can barely make myself read like instructions for assignments and yall want me to somehow dig up this like mystery information?? not to mention that even when i find a website that specialises in this kind of stuff i cant find what im looking for i mean idk what im looking for in the first plce and THEN IT ALSO HAPPENS THAT THEY HAVE LIKE A TON OF LITTLE PATHS TO DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE SITE AND THEYRE ALL CALLED SOMETHING SIMILAR AND I CANT DIFFERENTIATE THEM RAAAAH

i hate this fuckass thing and also the fact that my parents have been STRONGLY DISCOURAGING ME FROM GETTING A DIAGNOSIS FOR YEARS AND TO THINK THAT I COULD HAVE HD ONE THIS WHOLE TIME ITD MAKE SO MUCH STUFF EASIER

so yea the thing is since theres been this like uproar of adhders people dont tend to believe me at all so yea i think ill just go to my doctor and like demand help idk what else to do finding a psychiatrist myself is borderline impossible so yea

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.