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“nerds don't date , right?”
[ 정인 ] ✷ . . flirting with the chic nerd turns into something else ?
۫ 𖨂 𓈒 𝑛erdy!jeongin ₊ 𝑓em!reader ˙ . ꒷ g. fluff , humour , crack , forced proximity , classmates to lovers , uni au , fake dating , skz ensemble . 32OOw. ⎯⎯⎯ LiBRARY ⟢ cw. suggestive , as of now . ┆ 📹 ⋮ a y.jg mini series .ᐟ ֹ ₊
yani's note 𑁍ࠬܓ happy jeongin day! <3 thought this fic will end up too long (no surprise there..) so instead i'm turning into another series. ik i update all my series very slowly BUT listen, i will post freq. for this since it's a mini series !! this is pretty fast-paced, for the first chapter though. the upcoming ones may be slow-paced and not rush tho hehe. comments, likes, req./asks and reblogs are always appreciated !! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading, love <3
the autumn air was crisp, golden leaves swirling across the university courtyard as students hurried to their morning classes. the faint scent of coffee and fallen leaves lingered in the air, mixing with the distant hum of chatter and footsteps against cobblestone paths. it was the kind of morning that made people pause for a second, taking in the poetry of the season—well, people who weren’t already running late.
you weren't late, but you sure weren’t in a rush either. the café near the library had just handed over your classic hot cocoa, still warm against your palms, and the world felt like it was moving at a slow, dreamy pace.
that was, until a familiar figure cut through the crowd like a scene straight out of a high-fashion editorial.
yang jeongin.
jeongin, the so-called nerd, of at least your year. the one with the perfect grades, the sharp jawline, and the ever-present black glasses perched on his nose. the one people assumed spent all his time buried in textbooks, immune to the chaos of university life. except, he wasn’t just a nerd—he was a walking contradiction.
because if jeongin was just a nerd, why was he stepping onto campus dressed like he belonged on a runway?
today, it was a black oversized blazer with a fitted turtleneck, silver rings glinting against his slender fingers as he adjusted the leather strap of his bag. his glasses sat perfectly on the bridge of his nose, giving him an air of quiet arrogance, like he knew he looked good but didn’t care enough to acknowledge it.
his dark hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d just stepped out of bed looking effortlessly perfect. and the way he walked—like the world was just a backdrop, and he was the main character—made people stare without even realizing they were doing it.
jeongin definitely had an idgaf attitude, you had thought when you first shared a class. not towards his studies—no, he was practically married to academic excellence—but towards people.
he didn’t care for the unnecessary drama, the loud parties, or the fleeting conversations about nothing. he had a small, trusted circle and didn’t entertain anyone outside of it.
which was exactly why you found it so fun to mess with him.
“morning, topper,” you called out, stepping in line with him as he made his way toward the lecture hall. “where’s the rest of your nerd squad?”
jeongin barely spared you a glance. “not a nerd,” he replied smoothly.
“yeah?” you sipped your cocoa, unfazed. “you literally corrected our professor’s math last week.”
“he was wrong,” the guy shrugged.
“yeah, but who does that?”
“a person who values accuracy,” he deadpanned, his lips twitching slightly.
you simply grinned, as you walked alongside him. your friend group always teased you for hanging around jeongin, saying you were probably the only person brave enough to bother the university’s golden boy.
he wasn’t mean, exactly, but he had a way of making people feel like they weren’t worth his time.
which was true regardless.
still, you had made it your personal mission to crack his icy exterior.
“so,” you continued, “you ever been on a date, topper?”
he slowed his pace. it was so brief that most people wouldn’t have noticed, but you caught the slight hesitation before he turned to you, raising a perfectly shaped brow.
“what?”
“a date. you know—dressing up, awkward small talk, trying to impress someone so they don’t ghost you after?” you clarified, voice laced with amusement.
jeongin adjusted his glasses, looking unimpressed. “i know what a date is.”
“great! so, have you been on one?”
for a second, he just stared at you, dark eyes unreadable behind his lenses. then, in a tone so nonchalant it almost sounded careless, he said, “no.”
you almost choked on your drink. “wait, seriously?”
he continued walking, unfazed. “yeah. why? is that surprising?”
“duh?” you huffed, catching up. “you’re, like, weirdly hot for a nerd. i thought people would be throwing themselves at you.”
he scoffed. “that’s the problem. i don’t care about people throwing themselves at me.”
you tilted your head. “then what do you care about?”
he continued walking, completely nonchalant as he gazed up. the morning sun caught the silver of his rings as he slipped his hands into his pockets, tilting his head slightly.
“why?” he mused, voice smooth as ever. “you wanna change that?”
you blinked. for the first time, you were the one caught off guard.
because jeongin wasn’t looking at you with his usual passive expression. no, there was something in his gaze—something sharp, something challenging, something that almost looked like interest.
and you, for the first time in your life, had no idea what to say.
flirting with a nerd shouldn’t be this hard.
the crisp morning air suddenly felt warmer.
you were not the type to get flustered easily, but the way jeongin had just looked at you—head tilted, hands in his pockets, voice smooth as hell—all the while walking straight ahead as if he hadn't just lowkey flirted with you—wasn’t fair.
it wasn’t nerdy. it wasn’t normal. it wasn’t jeongin.
since when did nerds flirt back?
you narrowed your eyes, stepping closer to mask your sudden loss of composure. “that sounded like a challenge.”
“maybe it is.”
you blinked. okay. this was new territory. you were used to jeongin rolling his eyes at you, shutting down your playful jabs with a bored look. not this. not him flipping the script so effortlessly.
but two could play that game.
“well, topper,” you hummed, leaning in slightly, “if you want me to take you on a date, you should just say so.”
his smirk didn’t waver, but you caught the quick flicker of his eyes—the way they darted to your lips before meeting your gaze again. he adjusted his glasses, his fingers briefly brushing against the silver rings.
“i don’t recall saying that,” he mused.
you grinned. “you didn’t deny it, though.”
jeongin exhaled through his nose, amused, before turning back toward the lecture hall. “come on. we’re already late.”
you watched him walk ahead, your heartbeat a little too loud in your ears.
what the hell just happened?
— inside the lecture hall
the class was already half-full when you and jeongin entered, the air buzzing with lazy morning energy. some students were half-asleep, slumped over their desks, while others were whispering about weekend plans.
the professor hadn’t arrived yet, but the massive whiteboard was already filled with equations from an earlier class—long, intimidating numbers that you barely had the mental energy to comprehend.
you spotted your some of your friends near the middle rows. felix, ryujin, and yeji were sitting together, with an empty seat next to the blonde. across the hall, the nerd's own 'gang'—jisung, hyunjin, seungmin, aeri and yunah—was all huddled near the front.
as you slid into the seat next to felix, he raised an eyebrow. “you were talking to jeongin again?”
“yeah?”
he leaned in, lowering his voice. “bae. people actually think he hates, like, everyone.”
you scoffed, unbothered. “well, i’m built different.”
ryujin, who was casually scrolling on her phone, smirked. “or maybe you just like hot twi— nerds.”
“he's not tw—”
yeji cut you off, nudging the other two. “what’s the bet again?”
felix only grinned. “y/n would either break jeongin’s cold exterior or completely embarrass herself trying.”
“so far, it’s leaning toward the second one.”
you groaned, shoving felix’s arm. “so i'm as valuable as a bet now?”
meanwhile, across the room, jeongin was already in his seat, casually flipping through his notes. jisung nudged him with an exaggerated smirk.
“was y/n hitting on you again?”
jeongin adjusted his glasses. “probably.”
seungmin, looking unimpressed, leaned back in his chair. “and you just let her?”
jeongin shrugged. “she's entertaining.”
aeri cackled. “you so have a crush.”
“i don’t.”
“right, right.” jisung rolled his eyes. “that’s why you’re smirking to yourself like a roblox character right now?”
jeongin’s smirk immediately disappeared. “shut up.”
— after class, the campus café
after suffering through an hour of math (or thriving through it, if you were jeongin), you found yourself at the campus café, sipping on some watermelon juice you had gotten. the café was a cozy little spot near the library, filled with the soft hum of conversations and the clinking of coffee cups. the warm lighting made the wooden interior glow, and the air smelled like cinnamon and espresso.
you were sitting with felix and ryujin when jeongin entered.
of course, he looked annoyingly good again.
and of course, he had changed his attire after class.
noon's outfit: a fitted cream turtleneck under a tailored charcoal gray coat, paired with black trousers and sleek leather boots. his silver rings caught the light as he pushed his glasses up, scanning the menu like he wasn’t aware half the café was stealing glances at him.
you sighed dramatically. “does he ever look bad?”
felix smirked. “that’s what you’re worried about?”
“no, i’m worried about myself, because apparently, i’m developing a thing for well-dressed nerds.”
ryujin raised an eyebrow. “oh? so you admit it?”
at that moment, jeongin’s gaze flickered over to you. your eyes met. and instead of just nodding or ignoring you like usual, he did something that nearly made you drop your drink.
he smiled.
not a smirk. not a teasing glance. a smile. dimples and all.
you blinked, stunned.
felix leaned in, whispering, “oh. you’re so done for.”
and for the second time today, you really had nothing to say.
the art of losing (to a nerd).
jeongin had smiled at you.
not a smirk, not an i’m-better-than-you glance, but an actual smile. dimples, soft eyes, the whole deal.
you were losing your mind.
“i—what—he—” you sputtered, gripping your juice like it held the answers to the universe. “did he just smile at me?”
felix sipped his iced coffee with an amused look. “yup.”
ryujin smirked, barely glancing up from her phone. “congratulations. you’re officially the first person outside of his nerd cult to get that privilege.”
“oh lord.”
across the café, jeongin had already turned back to the counter, unfazed. he ordered his usual—black coffee, no sugar—before casually making his way to a corner booth. he moved so effortlessly, extremely nonchalant.
you, however, were still stuck on that smile.
what did it mean? was he just being polite? was he messing with you? did he—
felix snapped his fingers in front of your face. “hello? earth to y/n? you’re staring.”
you blinked. “i am not.”
ryujin raised an eyebrow. “you totally are.”
felix leaned in, grinning. “wait. wait. are you blushing?”
“no.”
“you’re so done for,”
“first stage of denial: over.”
“i hate the both of you.”
. . .
a few days later, you were at the campus library, attempting to study. spoiler: it wasn’t going well.
the problem?
a nerd sitting across from you.
it wasn’t planned. you had been minding your own business, laptop open, notes spread out, when jeongin had materialized in front of you, dropping his books onto the table with an air of casual dominance.
“reserved seats don’t exist,” he had said when you had gaped at him.
so now, here you were. stuck at the same table, trying (and failing) to ignore each other.
you tapped your pen against your notebook, sneaking a glance at him. he was focused, dark eyes scanning the textbook like it was the most interesting thing in the world. his glasses slid down slightly, and he absentmindedly pushed them back up with a knuckle.
how was it possible for a nerd to look so effortlessly cool?
“you’re staring.”
you flinched. “observing.”
jeongin didn’t even look up. “creeping.”
you huffed, crossing your arms. “you are so full of yourself.”
a smirk. “you’re the one staring, not me.”
you scowled, ready to retort, when an idea hit them. a terrible, wonderful idea.
you leaned in slightly, lowering your voice. “you know,” you mused, “if you ever need a break from all that.. nerding, i can take you on a date.”
jeongin finally looked up, raising a brow. “are you seriously flirting with me in the library?”
“why? is it working?”
a pause. then—
jeongin leaned in too.
too close. close enough that you caught the faint scent of his cologne—something woody, expensive, unfairly attractive.
“you tell me,” he murmured.
your brain short-circuited.
felix was right. you were so done for.
. . .
you had two rules in life.
1. never get involved in unnecessary drama. 2. never—ever—fall for a nerd.
unfortunately, han jisung existed solely to ruin both of those.
the set-up (aka jisung's dumb idea)
"so, uh… i kind of need a favor."
jisung plopped down beside you in the campus café, grinning like he hadn’t just uttered the most dangerous words in existence.
you, munching on a cookie, didn’t bother looking up from the textbook you were pretending to read simultaneously. "no."
"you don’t even know what i’m asking."
"i know it’s stupid."
jisung pouted. "wow. no faith in me at all?"
you finally sighed, setting the cookie down. "fine. what’s the favor?"
jisung clapped his hands together, practically vibrating with excitement. "so, jeongin has this family thing coming up, right?"
"okay… and?"
jisung leaned in, lowering his voice like he was about to reveal a government secret. "his parents keep nagging him about dating."
"and why is that my problem?"
jisung grinned. "because you’re fake-dating him now!"
silence.
you stared. "i’m what?"
"you heard me."
at that exact moment, jeongin—who had just arrived at the café (wow magic) —froze mid-step. he turned to jisung with a glare sharp enough to cut glass.
"what are you doing? no!"
jisung pouted. "come on, dude. your mom keeps asking about your nonexistent girlfriend, and y/n is perfect for this!"
you smirked, propping your chin on your hand. "perfect, hm?"
jeongin shot you a flat look. "don’t."
jisung, ignoring him, continued excitedly, "think about it! y/n’s hot, pretty, you two already bicker like an old married couple, and—"
jeongin cut him off. "i’d rather die."
"well, damn," you muttered, feigning offense. "you could at least pretend to be a little enthusiastic about fake-dating me."
jeongin turned to you, unimpressed. "i’d rather explain quantum mechanics to a toddler than date you."
you grinned. "you know quantum mechanics?"
"that’s not the point."
jisung threw his hands up. "guys! focus! jeongin, do you want your mom setting you up with random girls?"
jeongin clenched his jaw. he hated when his mom did that. every family event ended with some aunt introducing him to their neighbor’s niece, followed by exhausting small talk and forced compliments.
his eyes flickered to you, watching him with that stupidly smug smile. you probably weren’t taking this seriously, right?
good.
because he wasn’t doing it.
"no," he finally said. "not happening."
jisung groaned. "dude. it’s one dinner."
"still no."
you leaned in, resting your elbow on the table. "you’re really against the idea of dating me?"
jeongin exhaled, looking you dead in the eye. "fake or not, i wouldn’t date you if you were the last person on earth."
you grinned. "good. that means i can flirt all i want, and you totally won’t get attached, right?"
"oh yeah? wanna bet on it?"
"oh you're on, yang. i'll flirt with you as much as i want for-"
he cuts you off, "-one month. a whole week of me buying you snacks and lunch on the line. if you win."
"hmm, scared much? why not make it three months and i'll actually leave you alone after it all?"
"oh this is fun." jisung only stared between the two.
"bet."
jisung clapped his hands together. "so it's settled! you two are fake-dating!"
"i never agreed to this," jeongin muttered.
you simply took another bite of your cookie. "too late, topper. we have a date to plan."
jeongin swore under his breath.
this was going to be a disaster.
. . .
the night of the dinner came faster than jeongin would’ve liked.
you, unfortunately, were thriving.
"so, babe," you teased, nudging him as you walked toward the fancy restaurant where his family was waiting. "are we holding hands or what?"
jeongin shot you a glare. "no."
you pouted dramatically. "you’re so bad at this."
"i don’t want to be good at this."
you sighed. "fine. but i am calling you ‘babe’ in front of your parents."
jeongin stopped walking. "don’t."
you smirked. "babe."
jeongin groaned, rubbing his temples.
this was hell.
so, the second you stepped in, jeongin’s mom beamed.
"iyennie! you made it!"
you nearly choked. iyennie?
jeongin shot you a look that screamed, say a word and you die.
you, of course, took mental notes for future bullying.
his mother, looking as happy as ever, turned to you, eyes lighting up. "and this must be your girlfriend!"
you smiled sweetly, reaching for jeongin’s arm. "yes, ma’am! i’ve heard so much about you."
jeongin stiffened. his actual nightmare was happening.
his mom clapped her hands together. "oh, she’s adorable! and so polite!"
jeongin shot you a glare.
y/n, in response, squeezed his arm.
. . .
the dinner had barely started, and jeongin already wanted to disappear.
his mom was in full hosting mode, greeting everyone at the long, beautifully decorated table like she was running a royal banquet. his dad, more relaxed but equally nosy, sat at the head of the table, eyeing jeongin and you like you two were the most interesting thing in the world.
and then, of course, there were the relatives.
the visiting relatives.
which jeongin had not been informed about.
"aunt nae is here?" he whispered to his mom in horror as they took their seats.
"of course! she and minji wanted to see you, and they had to meet your girlfriend," his mom whispered back, beaming.
jeongin shot a look at you, who was way too comfortable in this situation, greeting his relatives like you'd been part of the family for years.
he exhaled sharply. this is fine. one dinner.
you turned to him, grinning. "jeonginnie, babe, scoot closer."
jeongin flinched. "what the hell did you just call me?"
"jeonginnie," you repeated, full of amusement, before turning to his mom. "it’s my nickname for him. cute, right?"
his mom melted. "oh, that’s adorable!"
jeongin clenched his jaw, gripping his fork like it was his last lifeline.
you were having the time of your life.
"so, y/n," jeongin’s dad started, leaning back in his chair. "tell us about yourself. what are you studying?"
you smiled, setting your chopsticks down. "music and literature."
jeongin’s mom clasped her hands together. "oh! a creative soul!"
jeongin muttered under his breath, "more like a chaotic soul."
you kicked him under the table. he barely held in a grunt.
one of jeongin’s aunts, a well-dressed woman in her late fifties, eyed you curiously. "and how did you two meet?"
before jeongin could stop you, you smoothly responded, "in the library. he was too shy to talk to me at first, so i had to make the first move. such a baby, right?"
jeongin nearly choked on his water. "that’s not—"
"oh, my," one of the older relatives gushed. "that’s so cute!"
"it really was," you continued, ignoring jeongin’s silent death glare. "he kept glancing at me over his books. adorable. my little nerd."
jeongin took a slow, deep breath. "lying is a sin, you know."
you turned to him with a sickeningly sweet smile. "so is being grumpy at your loving girlfriend, babe."
jeongin gritted his teeth. "i hate you."
"no, you don’t."
the rest of the table ate this up.
minji, his cousin, sighed dreamily. "you two are so cute together."
jeongin gave you a sharp look that screamed, look what you’ve done.
you only smirked.
and so, the dinner continued, filled with stories, laughter, and jeongin’s silent suffering.
until his father, casually sipping his drink, said, "we should invite y/n to the family trip next month."
silence.
jeongin’s brain short-circuited.
"excuse me?"
his dad smiled. "the family trip! your mom and i were just talking about it the other day. since y/n is part of the family now, she should come!"
jeongin nearly passed out.
you, on the other hand, simply blinked. "family trip?"
"oh, yes!" his mom clapped her hands together. "a whole week at the beach! we go every year, but this time, you’ll be joining us!"
jeongin stared at them in horror. "no, she won’t."
"of course, she will," his dad said firmly.
"we’ve only been dating for a few months!" jeongin protested.
his mom tilted her head. "so?"
"so?! that’s too soon for a family trip!"
you, who had been silent, leaned in slightly. "i mean, i do like the beach."
jeongin whipped his head toward them. "are you kidding me?"
you smirked. "what? i think it could be fun, babe."
jeongin clenched his fists. "i hate you." (keep counting guys !!)
"no, you don’t."
the table broke into excited chatter about the trip, completely ignoring jeongin’s very obvious distress.
this wasn’t happening.
this couldn’t be happening.
but it was.
and you were enjoying every second of it.
. . .
the evening air was crisp, a sharp contrast to the warmth inside the restaurant. the soft glow of the streetlights cast elongated shadows on the pavement, flickering with the occasional movement of people walking past. somewhere down the street, a car honked, followed by the muffled laughter of a group of university students spilling out of a nearby café.
none of that mattered to jeongin.
because he was currently standing outside the restaurant, rubbing his face aggressively while you stood beside him, grinning like you had just won the lottery.
as soon as you had left the restaurant, he had dragged you to the side, glaring.
"you just had to play along?"
you shrugged. "what was i supposed to do? say no and make it obvious?"
"yes!"
you smirked, tapping your chin. "hmm… too boring."
jeongin groaned, rubbing his temples. "this was supposed to be one night."
"well," you said cheerfully, "looks like we’re fake-dating for a month now. hope you’re ready, iyennie. oh, and this doesn't mean our bet is off the line now."
jeongin groaned louder.
this was hell.
"you're enjoying this," he accused, voice flat, eyes burning into them.
you smoothed the skirt of your blue, satin dress, pretending to think. "maybe a bit."
jeongin shot you a glare.
okay, a full-blown murderous glare.
you, still entirely unbothered, placed a hand on your hip. "i don’t see why you’re mad. i mean, a free vacation? beachside views? quality time with your loving girlfriend?" you batted your lashes. "i’d say that’s a win."
jeongin exhaled through his nose. "a win would be me never having to fake-date you in the first place."
you gasped dramatically. "that hurts, iyennie."
jeongin physically recoiled. "don’t call me that."
"aww, but it’s cute." you tilted your head, smirking. "just like you."
jeongin’s entire body tensed. "i hate you." (what did i tell you?)
"no, you don’t."
"besides, you could've asked any other girl for this whole.. fake dating agenda, you know. but you didn't, so i think that's very contradictory to your complains right now."
"you think i had a choice when jisung practically threatened me there in the first place?"
"please, you could reject it if you really wanted to. that man would forget about it if minho appeared randomly."
jeongin groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "this was supposed to be one night. one dinner. one stupid meal, and then i could go back to my normal, peaceful life."
"peaceful? dude, you have two research papers due, a physics exam next week, and you literally stress-buy sweaters. what part of that is peaceful?"
"shut up," he muttered.
"aww, did i strike a nerve?"
jeongin clenched his jaw. "let’s just go."
"go where?"
jeongin pointed to his car. "i drove you here, remember? which means, unfortunately, i have to drop you home, too."
"aww, you care about my safety, now? such a great boyfriend."
"no, darling, i just don’t want my mom thinking i abandoned you on the side of the road."
you gasped, pressing a hand to your heart. "cold, iyennie. cold."
jeongin ignored her and walked to his car.
jeongin’s car was clean. of course it was.
dark leather seats, faint traces of cologne and fresh laundry lingering in the air, a neatly placed water bottle in the cup holder, and absolutely no mess in sight. it was exactly what you had expected from someone like jeongin—controlled, neat, meticulous.
you, on the other hand, sprawled in the passenger seat like you had all the time in the world, kicking off your heels with a sigh.
"ugh, finally," you said, stretching your legs. "i swear, those things were invented by a man."
jeongin side-eyed them as he started the car. "you chose to wear them."
"yeah, because i actually put effort into my appearance, especially because i was meeting my boyfriend's family, you know. not to mention, i also had to match someone's peak of fashion sense."
you looked him up and down, eyes dragging over his outfit. "speaking of, i gotta admit, you looked kind of good tonight, nerd."
jeongin, dressed in a perfectly fitted black button-up (with the sleeves slightly rolled, because of course), navy slacks, and a silver watch that sat just right on his wrist, kept his eyes on the road. "kind of?"
"mhm. but don’t let it go to your head."
jeongin clicked his tongue. "too late."
you laughed, leaning against the window. "so, when were you going to tell me you had a whole extended family coming to dinner?"
jeongin let out a deep sigh. "i didn’t know."
"mm-hmm."
"i didn’t. if i had known, i would’ve never agreed to this in the first place."
"bet your mom planned it on purpose,"
jeongin’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. "oh, she definitely did."
silence filled the car, the quiet hum of the engine the only sound between them. the city lights flickered past, casting patterns of gold and silver against the windshield. the streets, alive with late-night chatter and the occasional honk, blurred into the background.
you shifted, turning to face him. "so, what’s the plan?"
jeongin frowned. "what plan?"
"you know, the fake-dating plan? we need a strategy."
jeongin blinked. "we don’t need a strategy. we just—" he exhaled. "we just survive the trip, act normal, and then break up after."
you gasped. "break up? so soon?"
jeongin shot you a look. "we are not actually dating, idiot."
"but think of the drama!" you grinned. "we could stage a messy breakup—throw some fake tears in, maybe have a whole 'it’s not you, it’s me' moment—"
"no."
you pouted. "boring."
jeongin rolled his eyes. "you are the most insufferable person i’ve ever met."
"and yet, here you are, fake dating me. out of every girl in town."
jeongin groaned. "i hate my life."
you smirked, playing with the edge of your dress. "no, you don’t."
. . .
when you finally pulled up in front of the women's uni dorm building, jeongin parked and rested his head against the seat, exhausted.
"alright, we’re here. get out."
you gasped. "no goodnight kiss?"
"out."
you laughed, wearing your heels back and stepping out. before closing the door, you leaned down slightly, peering inside. "sweet dreams, iyennie. don’t miss me too much."
jeongin glared. "i will actually block your number."
you winked. "you wish you could."
and with that, you shut the door and disappeared into the building, leaving jeongin staring after you, questioning every life choice that had led to this moment.
mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @modesttiger @woozarts @katsukis1wife @bddaramjis @reignessance @peskybirdysya @honeyybbuubblleess @ellemir2404 @4ng3l-ch1ld @urlocalmultigroupfan
#stray kids#skz#skz jeongin#jeongin fake texts#stray kid jeongin#jeongin x reader#jeongin stray kids#stray kids jeongin#yang jeongin#jeongin#stray kids x reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids fake texts#stray kids fluff#stray kids smut#jeongin smut#jeongin skz#jeongin scenarios#jeongin texts#jeongin x you#skz innie#skz jeongin x reader#jeongin fluff#jeongin fanfic#yang jeongin fanfic#yang jeongin x reader#yang jeongin smut#yang jeongin fake texts#yang jeongin fluff
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IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO SPECIFY IF I WANTED FLUFF OR ANGST😓😓 I want fluff😋
I requested rin (bllk) for "you really have no clue how to talk to women, huh?" OR "we should just run away."
i hope you like it! :’)
you’ve been dating rin for almost two years now, but you’ve known him for much longer—ever since kindergarten, when you told him football was stupid, and he immediately shot back that you were stupid. one “fight” later, your teacher forced you to spend recess together for a week, and somehow, you’ve been stuck with each other ever since.
so by now, it’s routine—annoying him, getting on his nerves, and watching him act like your presence is a burden when you both know he wouldn’t have it any other way.
you were the one who made the first move, mostly because you had a slight suspicion he liked you. you’d had feelings for him for a while, and the more you noticed the little things, the more convinced you became.
and when you finally told him, he had the straightest face ever—completely unreadable. except for his red ears. and the way his throat bobbed when he swallowed.
…yeah. you were right.
the only thing he told you after that was a simple “same,” and the rest is history.
it might not look like it to anyone else, but to you, rin is the sweetest guy. sure, he has a hard time verbalizing his feelings, but you know he cares. it’s in the small things—like when he picks up your favorite beverage from the coffee shop, paired with whatever pastry obsession you’re into that week. or when he sets aside time every week to watch rom-coms with you, even if there’s a football match on tv.
and then, there are the little gifts. he never calls them sentimental, but you know better. every time he comes back from a city he was playing in, there’s always something small he picked up for you—sometimes a keychain from a place you both visited together, or a notebook from a city you’d talked about visiting but never had the chance to. each one of them has a connection to a memory between the two of you, something only the two of you would understand, and that’s what makes them so special.
but verbalizing it? he’s just not the best at it. rin’s pretty cutthroat with everyone, and even though he used to be like that with you when you were just friends, now that you’re more than that, he doesn’t want to risk it. he keeps his words to himself, always cautious.
so, when you’re getting ready for your date with him, it catches you off guard when he says:
“that is a dress.”
“yes. it is,” you reply, still not quite understanding his reaction.
“you’re wearing it.”
“yes, i am.”
you’ve worn dresses around him before, so his reaction is a bit confusing. “rin, what’s going on?”
“nothing,” he says quickly, avoiding eye contact, though you can tell he’s trying to say more.
“it fits you,” he adds, almost reluctantly, before quickly looking away, clearly not used to expressing compliments.
when you finally understood what was going on, you couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped out. “you really have no clue how to talk to women, huh?” you said, trying to stifle your giggles, but the more you tried, the more it looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor.
“that movie we were watching the other day, the girl said women like to be complimented by their boyfriends. i thought..” he trailed off, his gaze darting away. “i thought you might want that too.”
you raised an eyebrow, leaning back with a smirk. “oh, so now you’re using rom-coms for relationship advice, huh?”
he scowled, clearly irritated, but there was no mistaking the faint blush creeping up his neck. “shut up. don’t make this a big deal.”
you laughed again, unable to resist. “too late, rinnie. you’ve already made it a thing.”
rin let out a long sigh, clearly trying to hide his discomfort. “can we just go already?” he grumbled, glancing at you quickly before looking away.
you raised an eyebrow, suppressing a smirk. “what’s the matter, rin? never complimented someone before?”
he scowled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “i don’t do that.”
“right, you’re too cool for that.” you teased, arms crossed.
“i’m not, just, it’s stupid, okay?” rin muttered, still avoiding eye contact.
“so what was that about rom-coms then?” you pressed, enjoying his flustered state.
“i don’t need your sarcasm right now,” he shot back, clearly embarrassed but not willing to admit it.
you chuckled, stepping closer to him. “fine, let’s just go, rinnie. but you know, maybe you should try complimenting me more often. you’re not so bad at it.”
rin grumbled under his breath but you could see the faintest twitch at the corner of his lips, just enough to know he wasn’t really as annoyed as he was letting on.
“let’s go,” he repeated, his tone still blunt, but you could tell he was less annoyed than before.
you grinned, following him out, because even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, you knew he cared.
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x you#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#rin itoshi x reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x you#rin itoshi x y/n
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I Wanna Get Freaky On Camera
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{Paring: Subscriber Jake Sim x OF Model Blk Fem! Reader
{Genre: smut, cyber sex, onlyfans au, Jake’s a college student, 18+ so mdni).
{Synopsis: In which jake has found himself addicted to getting off by watching ebony porn, but ever since he’s stumbled upon your OF account, he’s become your number one supporter.
{Warnings: explicit scenes, mutual masturbation, video call sex, fingering, jerking off, dirty talk, usage of toys, body worshipping, Jake likes to be praised, ass lover Jake, lmk if I missed anything too lazy.
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Jake was hooked, ever since he came across your post on twitter promoting your onlyfans account, he’s been draining his pockets on you every single week. He legit spoils you, from sending you cute little outfits he wants to see you wear on your streams, and all types of toys for you to play with yourself, while he abuses his dick until he can’t go on anymore.
Jake can remember the first time he ever watched Ebony porn, he was painfully hard scrolling through different porn sites, just trying to find that one good flick that would relieve all his stress from work. His usual search browser consisted of hentai porno, and of course Asian girls. But that night, he stumbled across a video titled “Big Booty Ebony girl gets pounded into mattress”.
He bit down on his bottom lip nervously, he was so hesitant at first, because of what background he comes from and out of fear of being judged by his friends and family. But Jake couldn’t resist the undying twitch in his pants, he couldn’t lie and say his cock wasn’t getting harder, as he stared at the erotic thumbnail of the video.
Finally he stopped hesitating and clicked on the video, and fuck was it the hottest thing he’s ever seen. He watched so intently while pumping his cock furiously, it was the most intense orgasm he’s ever had in his life. Ever since then, it’s the only porno he can get off to, saving various videos and pictures of Black pornstar models.
//
Jake tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently, watching as customer after customer flooded into the comic store. He had 10 minutes left in his shift, which was feeling like forever. He tried not to show his irritation towards the customer, checking his watch every second he could, his coworker was running late like always he was over it.
Thankfully his coworker finally walked through the door, yawning dramatically, as he greeted Jake. Jake simply nodded real quick, rushing from behind the counter to get to the time clock. You’re probably wondering why Jake is rushing to get back to his apartment, well, recently you hosted a raffle for a chance to have a private video call session, for your dear subscribers.
The rules were simple, never miss a single one of your streams, endless gifting, and last but not least, a picture of a dick that’s bigger than 6 inches. Lucky for Jake, he never misses your streams, always being the first person to join, gifting you almost everything off your wishlist, and not to brag, but Jake had a cock of 8inches.
It was no surprise that Jake had won, but it was still so shocking to see a dm from none other then yourself. His heart racing as he read your message, announcing that he had won the video call session, and setting up a date and time.
He then made it to his apartment, the familiar smell of his once burning candle welcomed him back.
He quickly kicked off his shoes, dropping his backpack on the couch, and making his way upstairs to his bedroom. His dick was already throbbing in his pants, as the dirty thoughts of tonight’s affairs clouded his mind.
He took a nice hot shower, shaving his pubic hair, to make sure he’s nice and smooth for you. It almost felt like he was getting ready for a date, spraying on cologne as if you could smell it through the screen, and making sure his hair looked presentable.
//
Jake laid in his bed, only wearing his boxers, with his laptop in front of him. You had sent him a dm, asking if he was ready to start the video call, Jake was so nervous but aroused at the same time. Finally a notification of an incoming video call popped up on Jake’s computer screen, causing him to jump at the ringing sound.
He touched up his hair a little before answering the call. His jaw dropped when he took in the sight of you sitting at your usual desk setup, your room covered in pink and white. You were just so beautiful, you were clad in a pink bikini bra, a pink thong, and your hair was braided in pink and black braids.
He just stared at you in awe, too stunned to speak, as he started to drool from the mouth. Finally your sweet voice knocked him out of his trance, his heart racing like crazy.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you Simjaeyun1115, I’ve been excited all day for our special session” You smiled at him, twirling the ends of your braids, as you enjoy the view of Jaeyun. Honestly you were thinking that he was probably some old guy, hiding behind the screen, being that Jaeyun didn’t have a profile picture. What you weren’t expecting was Jake to be this fucking sexy, his silky black hair falling down his face nicely, his slim yet toned physique pleasing to the eye, and he has a fucking Australian accent?!
“Hi Y/n, y-you’re so pretty wow I- wow” He tripped over his words, running his hands through his hair, biting his lip because he was so distracted by your beautiful body in the camera, you made him shit nervous. You giggled at his nervous expression, smirking and biting your lip as well, he was so freaking cute.
“How was your day Jaeyun?” You inquired, getting close to the camera and adjusting the too little bra that’s barely holding your tits in. Jake eyes followed, swallowing hard before answering your question, he was surprised you even cared about his day and he couldn’t lie and say that didn’t give him butterflies.
“My day was good, just went to class and work, that’s pretty much it” He nodded, licking his lips as he goes from staring at your pretty face, to your soft looking plush thighs. You giggled again, before putting your hands on your boobs.
“Do you like my boobies Jaeyun?, is that why you can’t pay attention to anything I’m saying?” You purr seductively, rubbing and fondling your own tits. Jake’s breath hitched, his cock jumping at the action, fuck you were his guilty pleasure.
“Y-Yes I do, s-sorry it’s just like, you’re so goddamn sexy and I’ve been waiting for this moment since I found your account and- Fuck I sound like a desperate loser I’m sorry” He rambled, nervously looking away and running his hands through his fluffy hair. You cooed at his shy expression, blowing a kiss at him through the screen.
“No need to apologize baby boy, I like your desperation so much, it’s my favorite thing in the world” You said softly, playing with your nipples as you let out little sighs of pleasure.
“Also you can call me Jake, if you don’t mind, I mean Jaeyun is my real name but I go by Jake- I’m rambling haha” He nervously laughed, adjusting his position on the bed, letting you get a peak of his boner straining through his gray boxers. You moaned out loud at the sight of it, his big bulge making your mouth water.
“Damn Jakey, you really do have a big cock, at first I thought the picture was photoshopped, but you really are packing” You said kinda in disbelief, feeling yourself growing wet in your panties. Jake’s face became beet red, nodding and swallowing hard, as your words went straight to his dick.
“Are you ready to play with me baby?” You smirked, unraveling the tie of your bikini bra, your boobs bouncing free. Jake let out a pathetic gasp, squeezing on his hard cock through his boxers, as if he’s trying to tame it.
“Fuck they’re so big, wanna suck on your pretty brown erect nipples so bad baby” He groaned, palming himself, as he watched you bounce your tits up and down in front of the camera, you know he loves when you do that.
“Would you squeeze them too baby? Would you rub and tease my sensitive nipples between your fingertips hm?” You moaned, sticking your fingers inside your mouth, as your other hand rubbed your wet pussy through your panties.
“Fuck yeah baby, I’ll suck on them, abuse those cute little nips of yours” He smirked, biting his lips, his Aussie accent was so strong and sexy fuck he was turning you on so much.
“Take your dick out please, wanna see it so badly” You purr, already lifting your body up from the chair and taking off your pink thong, a string of your clear sticky arousal following behind. Jake looked at you with hazy hooded eyes, as he lifted his body from the mattress, tugging his boxers down, his hard cock spring free with precum dripping from his pink slit.
“Such a pretty fucking cock, shit wanna suck the life out of you Jakey” You whined, his cock looked so firm, standing tall and proud, as it twitched at your praise. He smeared the precum that stained his mushroom tip, using it as lubrication and stroking his base.
“Would you suck it nice and slowly? Or would you deep throat and make it really messy for me” He asked, groaning as he stroked his cock at a slow pace, making sure not to overdo it or he would blow his load too quickly.
“I like to give messy head, lots of spit, I like my throat fucked daddy” You whined, spreading your legs open, exposing your glistening pussy to his eyes to feast on. Jake sped up his movements slightly, curses falling under his breath, as took in the sinful sight of your melaninated pussy on display for him.
“Shittt, look at that pretty little pussy, god she’s so wet, I can tell you want this just as much as I do darling” He whined, his breathing becoming harsher, as he edges himself from coming undone. You stood up from the chair disappearing from the camera, Jake frowned and pouted, asking where did you go. You came back into frame, your full nude body in the camera as you held something behind your back.
“What are you hiding princess, show me” He moaned, halting his movements as he waits for you to show him what you’re hiding.
“I got something special for you today my love” You smiled, before pulling what’s behind your back, and showing it to the camera. It was 8inch dildo, it looked exactly like Jake’s, the tip pink with veins running down the sides of it.
“Fuck baby, is that supposed to be my dick?” He said breathless, stroking himself again, as he imagines how you’re going to fuck yourself with the dildo. You nodded, biting your lip as you centered the toy on the chair.
“I searched all around to find a cock that looked identical to yours, I was able to find the perfect one online. Just wanted to make it as realistic as possible” You moaned, as you sat back down on the chair, lifting your legs and spreading them wide.
“That’s so damn hot babe, can’t wait to see you stretch that tight little cunt out” He grunted, squeezing his balls and smearing more precum on his tip that leaks out.
“How do you want me to fuck myself Jakey?” You smiled mischievously at him, playing with your boobs again.
“Want you to fuck yourself reverse cowgirl, I want to see your ass bouncing on it” He said through gritted teeth, sitting up straighter, as he leaned his back on the headboard.
“That’s your favorite huh? You like to see my fat ass bouncing on cock baby boy?” You turned your body around, your plump ass now facing the camera, as you smacked your own asscheek. Jake whined, begging for you to stop teasing and make him cum already.
You started to play with your pussy, rubbing little circles on your puffy clit. Jake watched you so intensely, his cock so stiff and wet.
“Spread that pussy open for me beautiful, I wanna see how tight she is” He said, licking his lips that’s now going dry, sweat drips down his forehead and his room now feels hot and stuffy. You obliged immediately, spreading open your slippery folds, showing off your pretty pussy.
Jake almost busted his nut, your brown pussy lips with pink inner shell, had him holding his breath. You slid two fingers inside your tight cunt, prepping yourself to take the 8inch toy. The squelching sound of your fingers penetrating your pussy, comes through Jake’s computer, He whined at the filthy sound.
“Come on baby no more teasing please, I need to see you riding my cock now” He begged, eyes wide and lust clouded. You nodded frantically, obeying his commands, you lined your hole up with the tip of the dildo, making sure you’re looking back at the camera as you start to slowly sink down on it.
You let out a little squeak, the thick mushroom tip breaching your tight little hole. Jake’s shoots worlds of praise and encouragement towards you, calling you a “good girl” or “you can take it sweetheart”.
“Oh my, oh fuck so big shit” You whined, your lips already quivering from the intense stretch. Jake chuckles softly, rubbing his hand through his hair.
“Sit all the way down on it babe, if I was actually there right now I won’t be nice to you I’ll make you feel it” Jake smirked, as he watched you slowly sit all the way down, letting out a pained moan. You stayed still, as you let yourself adjust to the size of it, your chest heaving up and down.
Finally the pain turned into pleasure, as you start to rock your hips back and forth slowly.
“Ahh shittt Jake, you’re so deep inside me oh my god” You screamed out, looking back at him, as you fastened your movements. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, throwing his head back as he matches your pace stroking his heavy length.
“Hell yeah baby girl, take that fucking dick just like that” Jake moaned loudly, his voice husky and deep with ecstasy. You adjusted your position, getting into a squatting position, as you started to bounce on the toy faster. The feeling of the dildo reaching so deep inside your guts, touching your cervix had you crying out loud, chanting Jake’s name like a mantra.
“Jake Jake, oh god Jake your cock feels so good, please don’t stop” You whined, feeling your stomach tightening, drool dripping from your mouth.
“Fuuuck that’s it, feels good huh? Like how I’m deep inside that kitty baby? Spread your asscheeks open for me I wanna see that little pussy being torn apart” He sighed in pleasure, pumping his cock at an almost inhuman speed. You bit your bottom lip, spreading both asscheeks apart, a ring of your creamy arousal coated on the base of the dildo.
Jake let out a pathetic whine, feeling himself getting painfully close to his breaking point, he had been edging himself for quite some time now, he couldn’t take it anymore.
“God baby, I’m close I’m close, need you to cum with me okay?” He panted, his strong accent pushing to the edge. You were already dangerously close as well, feeling the knot in your stomach threatening to unravel. You reach down between your legs, rubbing your clit in fast circular motions, pushing yourself to the edge.
“JAKE! I’m gonna cum oh shit I’m gonna fucking cum” You cried out, a sudden wave of pleasure coursing through your body, as you came hard around the dildo, your creamy sticky essence, dripping down the sides of the cock. Jake followed right behind you, releasing a guttural moan, shooting thick spurts of white cum, making a mess of himself.
You both path heavily, trying to catch each other’s breath from the intense orgasms. You whined out of sensitivity, your legs trembling as you slowly pulled off of the toy, collapsing in the chair. Jake looked at you with drowsy hooded eyes, smiling at you like a lovesick idiot.
“That was the best nut i ever had in my life” Jake murmured, his body feeling weak and limp. You nodded in agreement, smiling like a lovesick fool as well.
“I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard with anyone else but you Jakey” You giggled, wiping the wet off your forehead and getting closer to the camera.
“Does that mean I have chance for another video call?” He smirked.
“Fuck a video call, how would you like to meet up?” You winked.
𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖤𝗇𝖽…
A/n: Gir- I- he’s so hot I’m sorry no words no words I absolutely enjoyed writing this bc wtf he’s so damn sexy😤 but I hope you guys like it! Reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated🫶🏽 not proofreading shii homegirl😀
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Taglist:
@i03jae @ataver @ancnymcnzjy @kolawnk
#smut#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen imagines#fanfic#enhypen x reader#enhypen x black reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen hard hours#jake sim#sim jaeyun#jake x black reader#enhypen jake#jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#slut4heeworks#slut4heemasterlist#slut4heeupdates#slut4hee#feeling slutty
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Guess
older!joel miller x brat!younger!reader
summary: Joel never asked to be saddled with you—wild, reckless, and always testing his patience—but what started as a favor turned into something he couldn’t ignore, and by the time he realized he was in far too deep, it was already too late.
a/n: I never got over brat summer, forced proximity, tension, banter, kissing, suggestive scenes
joel miller masterlist
The first time I see Joel Miller, he’s scowling.
Like, really scowling. Deep line between his brows, mouth set in a firm, unimpressed line, arms crossed over his chest like he’s already exhausted before I’ve even said a word.
And that just makes me want to push his buttons.
He was older—forty-five, maybe—but damn if he didn’t wear it well. Tall, broad, built like a man who knew hard work and even harder days. The kind of man who didn’t waste words or time on things he thought weren’t worth it.
“Y/n,” Tommy grins, throwing an arm around me, “meet my older brother, Joel.”
Joel gives me a once-over, slow and deliberate. I feel his eyes drag over me, taking in my short dress, the bare skin, the slight smirk tugging at my lips. And just for fun, I shift my weight, tilting my head, letting my smile turn just a little more smug.
Tommy, oblivious, keeps talking. “Figured you two should finally meet since you’re always hangin’ around.”
Joel sighs, clearly already over this interaction. “Yeah. Great. Nice to meet you.”
I raise a brow. “Wow. So warm. So welcoming.”
Tommy snorts. “Don’t take it personal. He’s always like this.”
“Like what?” I ask, tilting my head, eyes flicking back to Joel.
Joel just stares at me, like he’s debating whether or not to entertain me. Finally, he mutters, “Serious.”
I grin. “And I’m guessin’ Tommy here told you I’m the opposite?”
Joel doesn’t answer, but the way his jaw flexes tells me enough.
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
I step a little closer, watching him carefully, waiting to see if he pulls back. He doesn’t—just watches me, unimpressed, unreadable, but I don’t miss the way his fingers twitch, like he’s restraining himself.
“You got somethin’ against fun, Miller?” I tease.
Joel exhales through his nose. “Just don’t got patience for trouble.”
I grin. “Good thing I ain’t trouble then.”
His eyes flick down to my lips for half a second before snapping back up. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Sure.”
Tommy laughs, clapping Joel on the back. “She’s a handful, huh?”
Joel shakes his head, muttering something under his breath before looking back at me. “You always this much of a pain in the ass?”
I beam. “You always this grumpy?”
His jaw tightens. I know I’m getting to him. And I love it.
Something about Joel Miller tells me he’s the type to resist—to hold himself back, to act like he doesn’t want.
But the way he’s looking at me now?
Yeah. He wants.
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I never planned on ending up at Joel Millers house.
But life has a funny way of screwing with me.
One busted pipe in my apartment—water everywhere, maintenance useless, and suddenly, I had nowhere to stay. Tommy was out of town, and before I could even think of booking a motel, he was already on the phone, talking to Joel.
“Just for a few days,” Tommy had said. “Joel’s got the space.”
Joel, who was already looking at me like I was a problem before I even stepped foot in his house.
Now, standing in his doorway, duffel slung over my shoulder, I give him my best grin. “Miss me?”
Joel just sighs, running a hand down his face. “Just don’t make me regret this.”
“No promises.”
His jaw tightens, like he knew I was gonna say that.
I step past him, into his space, and the second the door shuts behind me, something shifts. It’s one thing to tease Joel out in the world, to push his buttons when there’s always somewhere else to go. But here? His house?
There’s nowhere to run now.
And by the way his eyes flicker over me—quick, sharp, like he already regrets agreeing to this—I can tell he’s thinking the same damn thing.
The first night at Joel’s place is… tense. In a way that has nothing to do with the fact that my apartment is currently unlivable and everything to do with him.
He didn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat when Tommy volunteered him to take me in. He just grunted, muttered something about “just for a couple nights,” and now here we are.
Joel’s house is simple. A little messy but lived-in. It smells like sawdust, coffee, and whatever soap he uses. I shouldn’t be noticing those things, but I do.
“You got a spare bedroom, or do I gotta fight you for the bed?” I ask, dropping my bag by the couch.
Joel gives me a look like he’s already regretting this. “Spare room’s down the hall. Not much in there, but it’s got a bed.”
I smirk. “A bed and a grumpy host? Wow, I’m spoiled.”
He exhales sharply through his nose, running a hand over his beard like he’s trying to summon patience. “You need anything, just��� don’t.”
I grin. “Don’t what?”
He glares. “Don’t push it.”
Oh, but that’s my favorite thing to do.
—
It’s late when I finally settle in. The house is too quiet, too still, and I can’t sleep. Not used to this place, not used to him just a room away.
I pad down the hall, oversized t-shirt hanging off me, socks silent against the wood floor. The lamp in the living room is still on, and Joel’s sitting on the couch, looking lost in thought.
“Can’t sleep?” I ask, leaning against the doorway.
He looks up, eyes flicking to me—just for a second, just long enough to make me feel barely covered. He exhales, looking back at his floor. “Didn’t expect you to be the quiet type at night.”
I snort, walking over to perch on the arm of the couch. “Bet you thought I’d snore or talk in my sleep.”
Joel shrugs. “Still debatin’ it.”
I watch him for a moment, the way the lamp casts shadows over his face, the way he looks at everything except me. There’s something charged in the air, something neither of us want to acknowledge.
“You don’t like this, do you?” I tease, nudging his knee with my foot. “Having me here.”
Joel takes a slow look up at me. “Ain’t about likin’ it. It just is.”
I hum, watching him closely. “You’re so bad at lying.”
Joel’s jaw flexes.
And I know, I know, if I keep pushing, I’ll get something out of him. But for once, I don’t.
Instead, I stand, stretching dramatically. “Alright, Miller. I’ll stop bugging you. For now.”
Joel huffs. “Doubtful.”
I grin, heading toward the hallway. But just before I disappear into the dark, I hear him mutter—just low enough that I almost miss it.
“Sleep tight, trouble.”
And damn it, that shouldn’t make my stomach flip. But it does.
—
The thing about living with Joel? It’s too easy to mess with him.
I’ve been here for three days now, and I swear, every time I walk into a room, he looks like he’s debating whether or not to strangle me or throw me out. And honestly? I love it.
Like right now.
He’s standing in the kitchen, coffee in one hand, flipping through the mail like it personally offended him. His shirt is still wrinkled from sleep, hair a little messy, eyes heavy with whatever dreams he never talks about. And I? I’m perched on the counter, swinging my legs, eating the last piece of toast he made for himself.
Joel notices. His eyes flick to the empty plate in my hand, then to his own very empty hands, and then—then—he exhales so sharply it’s almost funny.
“Really?” he grumbles, setting the mail down with way more force than necessary. “You ain’t got hands to make your own damn food?”
I grin, taking a slow, deliberate bite. “Yours just looked better.”
Joel mutters something under his breath, something that sounds suspiciously like a curse, and turns to pour himself more coffee.
“Y’know,” I continue, voice sweet, “for a man who claims he doesn’t like me being here, you sure do take good care of me.”
Joel tenses. His grip on the coffee pot tightens.
“Wouldn’t have to if you took care of yourself,” he mutters, taking a sip.
I smirk. “Aww, Joel. You worried about me?”
He doesn’t answer. Just glares over the rim of his mug like he’s daring me to push him further.
So, of course, I do.
I hop off the counter, stepping closer, my bare feet silent against the floor. Joel watches me warily, like I’m a stray cat that might bite. I stop just in front of him, tilting my head.
“You sure you don’t like having me here?” I tease, my voice dropping just a little, just enough to make his fingers twitch.
Joel doesn’t move. Doesn’t step back. But his eyes darken just enough to make my stomach flip.
“You really wanna test me this early?” he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
The challenge sends a thrill down my spine. I grin, leaning in just a fraction, enough to feel the heat radiating off him.
“Maybe,” I whisper. “Depends on what happens if I do.”
Joel huffs a laugh—one of those deep, frustrated, you’re-gonna-be-the-death-of-me laughs. Then, suddenly, his turn to get close. He leans down, voice right against my ear.
“You keep pushin’,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my skin, “you ain’t gonna like what happens.”
My pulse jumps. My smirk falters—just for a second.
Joel sees it. And the bastard smirks.
Then he pulls back, grabbing his coffee, walking away like he won this round.
I exhale sharply, watching him go, my skin still tingling.
I really need to stop underestimating him.
—
I know he’s awake the second I step through the door.
The lights are dim, but Joel’s still sitting on the couch, one arm draped over the backrest, the other holding a half-empty beer. He looks relaxed—pretends to be, anyway—but his eyes flick to me the second I walk in.
I smirk. “You waitin’ up for me, Miller?”
Joel exhales sharply through his nose, setting the bottle down on the coffee table. “Just happened to be up.”
Uh-huh.
I ignore him, walking into the kitchen, feeling his eyes drag over me as I move. The dress I’m wearing is short, tight, and backless—very backless. My tattoo is on full display, the black ink running across, teasing the dip of my lower back.
I reach for a glass, pouring myself some water, letting the silence stretch, letting him look.
Finally, I hear him shift behind me. “Where the hell were you?”
I take a slow sip. “Out.”
“With who?”
I glance over my shoulder, raising a brow. “Didn’t know I had to check in with you, dad.”
Joel clenches his jaw. His fingers flex on his knee. “Y/n.”
I turn fully now, leaning against the counter, glass in hand. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t.” The lie is so blatant, so immediate, that I almost laugh.
I take another sip, watching him. “You sure about that?”
Joel doesn’t answer right away. His gaze flicks lower, over the curve of my back, the exposed skin, the ink. His jaw tenses even more—like he’s mad. Like the tattoo itself is personally offending him.
I set my glass down, smirking. “Something wrong?”
Joel exhales, drags a hand down his face. “You got no damn shame, you know that?”
I grin, stepping closer, closing the space between us. “And you got no damn claim,” I say, tilting my head. “So what’s your problem?”
Joel watches me, something dangerous flickering behind his eyes.
I lift a finger, tracing a slow, teasing line down my own spine, over the tattoo he won’t stop staring at. “You like it?” I ask, voice low.
His nostrils flare. His fists clench.
Then—just like always—he forces himself to lean back, to put space between us, to shove all that tension down deep.
I take my time walking past him, making sure he gets a real good look at what’s been driving him crazy all night. I can practically feel the heat of his stare burning into my skin, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of looking back.
Not yet.
Instead, I reach for my water again, taking a slow sip, just to draw this out a little more. Joel exhales, long and slow, like he’s trying to keep himself calm.
I almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
“You always go out dressed like that?” His voice is low, rough, like he’s forcing himself to sound casual.
I smirk against my glass. “You always staring at me?”
Joel lets out a sharp breath, but he doesn’t deny it.
I finally turn, leaning back against the counter, crossing my arms so my dress shifts even higher up my thighs. His gaze flickers, betraying him for half a second before he locks it back on my face.
“I just don’t get why you feel the need to—” He waves a hand vaguely at me. “—put everything on display.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Everything?”
Joel rubs a hand down his face, muttering under his breath. “You know what I mean.”
I grin. “What, you don’t like my tattoo?”
He clenches his jaw. “Ain’t about the tattoo.”
I tilt my head, watching him closely. “Then what’s it about?”
He doesn’t answer.
I push off the counter, closing the space between us, slow and deliberate. “Is it the tattoo, or is it the fact that other people got to see it?”
Joel tenses. Just a flicker. Barely noticeable. But I see it.
And I know.
I smirk. “That’s it, isn’t it?” My voice drops, just above a whisper. “You don’t like that someone else got to look at me like this.”
Joel’s breathing is heavier now, his fists clenched at his sides. “Go to bed, y/n.”
I step even closer, close enough that I can feel the heat of him, smell the faded whiskey and aftershave clinging to his skin. “Make me.”
His jaw flexes. His hands twitch. For a second, I think he might actually do something, might finally snap and grab me, kiss me, claim me like we both know he wants to.
But then—
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face before turning away from me. “You’re a damn brat, you know that?”
I grin, victorious. “And you love it.”
Joel mutters something I don’t catch, shaking his head, still refusing to look at me.
I lean up on my toes, just enough to whisper near his ear. “Sweet dreams, Miller.”
Then I turn and head toward my room, my steps slow, unhurried, knowing damn well he’s watching.
Knowing damn well he won’t sleep tonight.
Not yet, anyway.
—
Joel is a walking contradiction.
Always looking out for me, always acting like I’m some damn problem he’s gotta fix. But then, when he thinks I’m not paying attention? He watches me.
Like right now.
I’m sitting on the tailgate of his truck, sipping a gas station soda, swinging my legs while he loads up the last of the supplies he picked up. The summer heat is thick, sticking to my skin, making me feel slow, lazy.
Joel, meanwhile, looks like he’s one deep breath away from losing his patience.
“Where’d you run off to last night?” he asks, not looking at me.
I smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”
That gets me. I raise an eyebrow. “You are keepin’ tabs on me.”
Joel exhales, setting down a case of water a little harder than necessary. “Just know when you start trouble.”
I grin. “Who says I started trouble?”
He gives me a look.
Fair enough.
I take another sip of my drink, watching him work, the way his shirt clings to his back, damp from the heat. My stomach tightens, and I blame it on the weather.
“You got somethin’ to say?” he mutters, not turning around.
I smirk. “Nope.”
“Then quit starin’.”
I laugh, kicking my feet against the truck bed. “Oh, that’s rich.”
His jaw tightens. “What’s that mean?”
I tilt my head. “Means I see you lookin’, too.”
Joel freezes.
It’s quick. A small thing. But I notice.
For the first time, he actually looks at me, really looks. And there’s heat there, burning under all that restraint.
I set my drink down, hopping off the tailgate, stepping close—too close.
“You ever wonder what’d happen,” I murmur, “if you stopped pretendin’ you don’t want me?”
Joel’s breath is slow. Measured. He doesn’t step back. Doesn’t move.
“You don’t know what you’re askin’ for,” he says, voice low, gruff.
I tilt my head, biting back a grin. “Maybe I do.”
Something flickers in his eyes. Something dangerous.
For a second, I think maybe—maybe—he’s gonna snap. Gonna grab me by the waist, drag me in, let all that tension finally break.
Instead, he just exhales, long and slow, before stepping back.
“You’re trouble,” he mutters.
I grin. “You like trouble.”
Joel shakes his head, mumbling something under his breath as he turns away.
But his hands? They’re clenched into fists.
And that tells me everything I need to know.
—
Joel’s been trying to ignore me all damn day.
Which, honestly? Fair. I’ve been making it real hard for him.
I’m leaning against the counter in his kitchen, the space between us just enough for me to feel that slow, simmering tension that’s been building up all afternoon, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a pair of—well, that’s the game, isn’t it?
Joel walks in, fresh from a shower, hair damp, t-shirt clinging to his chest just enough to make me look. He barely glances at me as he grabs a water from the fridge, pretending I’m not there.
Like I’ll just let him get away with that.
“You ever gonna put on some damn clothes?”
I smirk, not even looking up. “I am wearing clothes.”
Joel exhales sharply, taking a long sip of water. “Not enough.”
That makes me grin. Gotcha.
I stretch, letting the hem of my shirt ride up just a little. “Oh, relax. It’s just a t-shirt.”
Joel scoffs, finally looking at me. His eyes flicker down, slow, then back up, jaw tightening. Yeah, he noticed.
“Guess,” I say suddenly, watching him.
His brow furrows. “What?”
I sit up, tilting my head. “Guess what I’m wearing underneath.”
Joel exhales, shaking his head. “Not playin’ this game, y/n.”
“C’mon.” I stretch, making sure the hem of my shirt lifts just enough to tease. “Just one guess.”
“Clothes.”
I grin. “Not much of ‘em.”
That does it. His grip tightens on the bottle, jaw going stiff. He still doesn’t turn around, but I see it—the way his shoulders tense, the way his breath goes a little heavier.
But then, to my surprise, he plays along.
Joel finally turns, slow, lazy, eyes dragging over me in a way that makes my stomach flip.
Slow. Controlled. Like he knows exactly what this is doing to me.
And I feel it—his presence filling the space, the heat between us thick and undeniable. Joel stops just a breath away, too close for comfort, but I don’t move. I won’t.
“You’re awful pushy tonight,” he mutters, eyes dark as they settle on me.
I tilt my head, not backing down. “You’re awful curious for someone who doesn’t wanna play.”
Joel’s eyes drag over me, deliberate and slow, as if he’s taking in every inch, every detail. Then, like he can’t help himself, he leans in a little more—close enough that I feel the warmth of his body, the weight of his presence.
His breath hits my cheek, and I’m sure my heart skips a beat. I freeze, barely able to keep my focus.
The space between us is thick with something heavy, something that has my pulse racing, but Joel’s not moving. He’s standing there, looking at me like he’s debating something—maybe whether or not to keep playing. I keep my eyes locked on his, deliberately challenging, just to see how long he’ll stand there before he breaks.
I know he can feel it too—the weight of the air between us. It’s thick. Electric.
But I’m not the one to crack first.
I lean back a little, letting my hands slide across the cool counter, trying to act casual, like I’m not aware of every inch of space between us, of how close he’s standing now.
Joel doesn’t say anything for a while. He just watches me—his eyes intense, like he’s studying every move I make, waiting for me to slip up.
And then, in one smooth motion, he steps forward, close enough that I feel his presence without him even touching me. Just the weight of his gaze, the pull of his body.
I freeze for a second, breath catching in my throat. Damn it.
He doesn’t rush—he never does. Joel’s always deliberate, calculating. But I can see it now, the way his lips press together, the faintest twitch of his jaw like he’s trying to hold something back.
Without saying a word, his hand moves slowly to the bottom of my t-shirt. His fingers brush against the fabric, barely grazing the skin of my thigh. The touch is light—almost too light—but it still sends a shiver through me.
I stay still, even though every part of me is aware of what he’s doing, of the way his hand hovers, teasing, as if he’s testing my patience.
“Alright,” he drawls, voice lower now. “Guessin’ you want me to say somethin’ like… lace?”
My mouth goes dry.
Oh.
I wasn’t expecting that.
I recover fast, tilting my head. “Maybe.”
Joel takes a slow step closer, his eyes locked on mine, like he knows he’s caught me off guard. Like he’s finally flipping the script on me.
“Red?” he guesses, voice all deep and rough.
I swallow. “Wrong.”
“Black, then.”
I press my lips together, refusing to react.
“Bet they even have a little bow”
Joel just huffs a quiet laugh, taking another slow sip of water, looking way too satisfied with himself.
I narrow my eyes, sitting up. “You think you’re real smooth, huh?”
He just shrugs. “Ain’t that hard, darlin’. You’re an open book.”
And then, just as I’m about to respond, he shifts again—moving in, just enough to make the back of his hand brush mine. The contact is so light, but I feel it like a damn spark.
His lips are so close to my ear now, and I know he’s teasing. He’s testing me, waiting to see what I’ll do.
But I don’t move. I hold my ground, staring up at him, willing myself not to let the heat get to me.
“I hate to break it to you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “but you ain’t nearly as subtle as you think you are.”
I try to keep my cool, but there’s a hitch in my breath.
Joel steps back then, like it’s nothing. But I can feel the pull, the weight of what just happened. I know he’s not done with this—not by a long shot.
—
Joel is pissed.
I see it in the way his shoulders tense as he shoves open the bar door, his grip firm around my wrist, dragging me outside like I’m some wayward kid in need of a lesson. The humid Texas night air wraps around us, thick and sticky, but it’s nothing compared to the heat burning between us.
“What the hell was that, y/n?” Joel snaps, letting go of my wrist just to turn and face me, standing toe-to-toe like he’s ready for a fight.
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. “I was having a drink, Joel.”
“You were flirtin’ with every damn guy in there,” he growls, his hands landing on his hips like he’s holding himself back.
I smirk, tilting my head. “Oh, that’s what this is about? Didn’t realize you were keepin’ tabs on me.”
Joel huffs, his nostrils flaring as he shakes his head. “I am keepin’ tabs on you. Tommy asked me to keep an eye on you, and you—” He gestures toward the bar behind us, exasperated. “You don’t make it easy.”
I laugh, the alcohol warming me but not enough to dull the way my pulse spikes at his words. “I’m twenty-five, Joel. I don’t need a damn babysitter.”
“Well, you sure as hell act like you do,” he shoots back, eyes dark and burning with frustration.
That gets me. My spine straightens, my chin tilts up, and suddenly, I’m really not in the mood for this conversation.
“Excuse me?” I take a step closer, poking a finger against his chest. “I don’t belong to you, Joel. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
Joel exhales sharply, like he’s trying to get a grip, but it’s useless because I can see it—the tightness in his jaw, the way his fingers flex at his sides, the way his eyes flicker down to my lips for a fraction of a second before snapping back up.
Oh, he hates this.
Hates that I push him.
Hates that I get under his skin.
Hates that he wants me.
“I didn’t say you belonged to me,” he mutters, voice lower now, rougher.
“But you sure as hell act like it.” My voice is quieter too, the space between us shrinking, the air crackling.
Joel clenches his jaw, breathing hard, and for a second, I swear he’s about to say something—admit something. But instead, he just lets out a frustrated growl, dragging a hand down his face.
“You drive me crazy,” he mutters.
I grin, stepping even closer, my chest nearly brushing his. “Yeah? And what’re you gonna do about it?”
Joel goes still.
I see it—the moment something shifts between us, the way his breathing changes, the way his fingers twitch like he wants to grab me, pull me closer, do something about it.
But instead, he just exhales sharply, turns away, and runs a hand through his hair like he’s trying to physically shake me off.
“Get in the damn truck.”
I laugh, but there’s something breathless about it, something shaky. Because if he had made a move—if he had snapped—I don’t know if I would’ve stopped him.
Hell, I know I wouldn’t have.
But for now, I just smirk, walking past him with a slow sway in my step, knowing damn well he’s watching me.
And as I climb into his truck, I wonder just how long it’ll take before Joel Miller finally breaks.
—
Sometimes, Joel does the dumbest shit, and I can't help but laugh at how he digs himself deeper without even realizing it. I've been pushing him all night, just little jabs here and there, watching him get more and more frustrated. It's my favorite game-seeing how long I can mess with him before he finally cracks.
But this time? This time, he really crossed a line.
He thinks he knows what’s best for me, and the way he treats me like some helpless kid? It drives me insane. I’m 25, not a teenager, but he always acts like I need someone to babysit me. It’s honestly infuriating.
But I guess he just couldn’t let it go anymore.
I’m standing there, crossing my arms, staring him down as he tries to come up with something to say, but all he can do is look at me like I’ve broken his favorite damn toy. He’s so damn stubborn, but right now, there’s something in his eyes I’ve never seen before—guilt.
Then, out of nowhere, Joel drops to his knees in front of me.
What the hell?
For a moment, I just stare at him, caught off guard.
I'm not even sure what he's doing, but the way he looks up at me-like he's some kind of punished dog-throws me off balance. He's trying to make a statement, I can tell. He's not embarrassed, but he's also not letting this go.
"I messed up," Joel says, his voice gravelly, as he slowly slides his hands up to rest on my thighs.
I blink at him, not sure how to react. The tension is different this time-this isn't about him giving in; this is something else entirely. There's no fear in his eyes. No submission. He's still the same stubborn bastard he's always been, but there's something else there too-something challenging.
He wants to make things right, but he's doing it on his terms.
"You're not sorry enough for this to work," | tease, holding back the grin that's threatening to break free.
He smirks, eyes flicking up to meet mine. He's still got that damn cocky attitude, even with me standing over him, and I don't know whether I want to slap it off him or kiss him.
Maybe both.
"I'm sorry," he repeats, his hands tightening on my thighs, but there's no hesitation in his voice. "But I'm not getting off my knees until you know I'm serious."
I let out a laugh, not backing down, my body giving off every signal that I'm in control. "And what's that supposed to mean? You think this is gonna impress me?"
His grip on my thighs tightens, pulling me in closer, and now I can feel the heat of him through the fabric. But instead of giving me an inch, he's still staring up at me with that damn challenge in his eyes.
"You want an apology? You got it," he says, voice low and steady. "But l'm not some puppy you can just command. Don't think for one second you're gonna play me like that."
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued despite myself. I was expecting him to grovel, to at least try to show some weakness. But Joel? Joel doesn't do weakness.
"I never said you were a puppy," I murmur, looking down at him with a smile that's too smug for my own good. "But you are on your knees."
His eyes darken as he holds my gaze, not backing down, not even a little. "Yeah, and I'm here because you deserve the apology, not because I'm asking for permission."
The heat between us shifts again, and it's not the playful teasing anymore. It's something more-something a little darker, a little more real. He's not going to give in, but he's also not letting me win either.
"So, what do you want?" l ask, my voice almost a whisper, the challenge still there but mixed with something else.
Joel doesn't hesitate. "I want you to stop testing me and accept that I'm not going anywhere."
And for just a moment, it feels like he's got me right where he wants me.
But then, I realize-he's not the only one who knows how to play this game.
"Well, if you're so eager to apologize," | start, running my fingers through his hair, "maybe you can make it up to me in a way I actually want."
Joel looks up at me, his hands still gripping my thighs as his breath catches. There's a flicker of something in his eyes-something wild, but also totally surrendered.
"Name it."
The words land between us with the weight of a promise. And for the first time, I feel the air between us change completely. I step back, my body a little off balance from how suddenly he's shifted everything.
But damn, if that doesn't make my heart race.
And then—
His hands are on me.
Gripping my waist, dragging me in hard, pinning me against the wall like he can’t hold himself back another second.
“You happy now?” His voice is low, rough, wrecked. His breath is hot against my lips, his hands firm, possessive on my hips.
I grin, breathless. “Ecstatic.”
And then he’s kissing me.
It’s not soft. It’s not slow. It’s everything he’s been denying himself—all the tension, all the frustration, all the goddamn hunger crashing down on us at once.
I moan into his mouth, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. He groans, deep and low, like he needs this, like he’s craved this for so long it’s driven him mad.
His hands slide lower, gripping my thighs, lifting me effortlessly against him. I wrap my legs around his waist, gasping as my back presses harder against the wall, his body solid and hot against mine.
“You drive me fucking crazy,” he growls, dragging his lips down my jaw, my neck, biting just enough to make me gasp.
I laugh breathlessly, tugging his head back up, eyes locked on his. "Took you long enough to admit it."
Joel glares at me, but there's something wild behind it now, something dangerous. "You got no idea what you just started."
I smirk, running my fingers down his chest, feeling the way his breath shudders at my touch.
"Then don't stop," | whisper.
And he doesn't.
—
It’s like once we started, we couldn’t stop.
Every touch, every look, every little moment of tension we used to ignore? Now it’s all fire.
It starts in the kitchen. I brush past Joel to grab a glass of water, my fingers barely skimming his arm, and I swear I hear his breath hitch. It’s subtle, but I know him. I know how much I get under his skin.
And then, before I can even turn around, he’s on me.
One hand grips my waist, the other presses into the counter beside me, caging me in. His body is warm against my back, his breath hot against my ear.
“You do this on purpose,” he mutters, voice low, rough, like he’s barely holding himself together.
I smirk, tilting my head slightly, just enough that his lips graze my neck. “Do what?”
Joel exhales sharply, his fingers tightening on my waist. “Brat,” he murmurs, but it sounds wrecked, like he’s already given in.
And he has.
Because in the next breath, he spins me to face him, pressing me against the counter. His hands grip my hips, his body hot against mine, and I can feel the tension rolling off him.
“You’re playin’ with fire,” he warns, lips barely an inch from mine.
I grin, dragging my fingers through his hair, nails scraping lightly against his scalp.
Joel groans, kissing me.
Hard.
It’s desperate, messy, like every ounce of restraint he had is just gone. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling him impossibly close, gasping into his mouth when his fingers dig into my skin.
We barely make it to the hallway before he grabs me again, pressing me against the wall, his mouth never leaving mine.
“You just can’t help yourself,” I murmur against his lips, breathless.
Joel groans, his forehead pressing to mine, his grip firm like he's staking a claim. "Neither can you."
And he's right. Because the second we're alone again, I'm on him-hands in his hair, pulling him down, both of us too far gone to stop now.
Because now that we've started?
We're never stopping.
—
I leave the bathroom door open on purpose.
And the glass shower door? Yeah, that stays cracked, too.
The hot water cascades down my body, steam curling through the air, fogging up the glass just enough to blur the edges but not enough to hide me. I know Joel’s home. I know he’ll walk past. And I know he won’t be able to help himself.
It takes a minute, but then—there he is.
I catch the movement out of the corner of my eye, the way he pauses in the doorway. I can’t see his face through the steam, but I know that look—the one where his jaw tightens, where his fists clench like he’s fighting every urge in his body.
I smile to myself and tilt my head back, letting the hot water pour down my neck, dragging my hands slowly over my skin.
Joel exhales sharply. “Jesus Christ, y/n.”
I bite my lip. Bingo.
There’s a beat of silence, thick with tension. And then—I hear him move. The rustle of fabric. The soft clink of a belt buckle. The sound of a shirt being pulled over his head.
My pulse spikes.
The shower door swings open wider, and suddenly—Joel is there.
Steam clings to his skin, droplets forming against the hard planes of his chest, his broad shoulders.
His eyes are dark, locked on mine, his expression somewhere between exasperation and something dangerous.
“You really are a damn brat,” he mutters.
Before I can reply, his hands are on me, gripping my waist, pushing me gently but firmly against the cool tile. His body is hot, solid against mine, his breath warm against my skin as he leans in.
“You left that door open on purpose,” he accuses, voice rough, wrecked.
I smirk, fingers sliding up his arms, feeling the tension there. “Maybe.”
Joel exhales sharply, shaking his head. “Unbelievable.” But there’s something else in his eyes now—something wild, something hungry.
His hands grip my hips, fingers pressing hard into my skin, and he kisses me.
Hard.
It’s desperate, messy, like he’s been waiting for this, like every ounce of restraint he’s ever had just snapped. I moan into his mouth, pressing up against him, feeling the heat of his body, the way his hands roam, gripping, claiming.
"You gonna keep playin' games, sweetheart?" he mutters against my lips, his voice rough with need.
I grin, breathless, pulling him closer. "Always."
Joel groans, his forehead pressing against mine, his breath heavy, his fingers digging into my skin like he needs this.
And then he kisses me again.
And this time, neither of us stop.
—
The first night back in my apartment should feel good. Should feel like a breath of fresh air. No more waking up to Joel grumbling in the kitchen, no more stolen flannels, no more him lurking in doorways like he’s just waiting for me to do something reckless.
But it doesn’t feel good.
It feels wrong.
I don’t like waking up alone. I don’t like the quiet. I don’t like that Joel just let me go without a damn word.
So I do what I always do. I go looking for trouble.
And I find it at his doorstep.
Joel barely reacts when he opens the door and sees me standing there, arms crossed, wearing one of his shirts I forgot to return. His face is unreadable, but I know him. I see the way his shoulders tighten, the way his jaw clenches.
“What’re you doin’ here?” he asks, voice low, cautious.
I step inside without waiting for an invitation, brushing past him like I belong there. Because I do.
“I dunno,” I say, throwing myself onto his couch. “Figured I’d see if you missed me.”
Joel exhales sharply, closing the door, rubbing the back of his neck like he’s already tired of this conversation. “Y/n—”
“—You didn’t even call me.” I cut him off, watching him carefully.
He shakes his head, pacing like a man who’s got too much in his head and no idea how to get it out. “Didn’t think I needed to.”
I scoff, leaning back against the cushions. “Bullshit.”
Joel stops pacing, pinches the bridge of his nose, and mutters something under his breath.
“What?” I push, sitting up. “Go on. Say it.”
“You know why,” he says, finally looking at me. His eyes are tired. Guilty. “I shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did.”
I laugh. A short, bitter thing. “Let things go as far as they did? You mean you finally gave in? You finally admitted you wanted me?”
Joel clenches his jaw, turning away, but I’m already off the couch, already closing the distance between us.
“You do want me,” I say, softer now. “You just don’t want to let yourself have me.”
He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t say a word. Just stands there, looking like a man at war with himself.
“You think it was a mistake?” I ask, my voice steady even though my chest feels tight.
Joel doesn’t answer right away. And that silence? It kills me.
Finally, he exhales, voice rough. “I think it ain’t fair to you.”
I stare at him, disbelief creeping in. “Fair? That’s what you’re worried about? Jesus, Joel, I’m not some kid you need to protect. I know what I want.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t get it—”
“No, you don’t get it,” I snap. “I waited for you to stop fighting it. I waited for you to stop treating me like I’m too young, too reckless, too much for you. And the second you let yourself have me, you run?”
Joel’s breathing is heavy now, his hands flexing at his sides like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “I ain’t runnin’—”
I step closer, forcing him to look at me. “Then what the hell do you call this?”
His face twists, something breaking behind his eyes. “I call it tryin’ to do right by you.”
My chest aches. God, he’s so damn stubborn.
“You don’t get to decide that,” I say, softer this time. “You don’t get to make that choice for me.”
Joel looks at me, looks through me, and I see it—that need, that longing, that war inside him.
But I won’t beg.
So I take a slow step back, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “Fine,” I say, voice carefully even. “You wanna push me away? Go ahead. But don’t you dare pretend it’s for my sake.”
I turn, heading for the door, my heart hammering in my chest.
And I wait.
I wait for him to stop me.
But the door closes behind me, and Joel lets me go.
—
I should slam the door in his face.
I should.
But I don’t. Because it’s Joel. And even after everything—even after he let me walk out that door without a fight—I still want him.
And the bastard knows it.
He stands there, looking rough around the edges, like he hasn’t slept. He rubs the back of his neck, shifting on his feet, like he doesn’t know how to say whatever it is he came here to say.
“I fucked up,” he says, finally.
I snort, arms crossed. “No shit.”
Joel exhales, glancing down for a second before his eyes meet mine again. They’re dark, tired, but honest.
“I was scared,” he says, voice lower now. “Ain’t used to wantin’ something this bad. Ain’t used to thinkin’ maybe I could have it.”
That stops me.
Because this? This is new. This isn’t Joel pushing me away, telling me I’m too young, too much, too reckless. This isn’t him trying to convince himself he doesn’t need me.
This is him admitting that he does.
I swallow, my throat tight. “You can have it, Joel. But not if you keep pulling this shit.”
He nods, like he knows, like he’s been sitting with that realization since the second I left.
I should make him work for it. Make him suffer a little. But then he steps closer—slow, cautious, like he’s making sure I don’t shut him out first.
And when he speaks again, his voice is hoarse.
“Come back.”
It’s not a demand. Not a plea. Just Joel laying it all out, raw and real, for me to decide.
I let out a slow breath, studying him, making him wait.
Then I step forward, just enough that I can tilt my chin up and brush my lips against his—light, teasing, cruel.
His breath hitches. His hands twitch at his sides, like he’s dying to touch me.
And I smirk. “Took you long enough.”
Joel groans, grabs me, and finally—finally—kisses me like he’s making up for every second he wasted.
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller angst#joel miller x you#joel miller fluff#joel miller imagines#joel miller one shot#joel miller imagine#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller smut#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal imagines#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal#pedrohub#pedro x reader
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On the Clock | Teaser (c.hs)
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Pairing: Vernon x f. reader
Summary: Modern problems call for modern solutions, including naming a random stranger in the bookstore as your boyfriend to avoid an embarrassing encounter with your ex. The problem? The stranger is Vernon and he’s not supposed to be a stranger at all - he’s your coworker, and now everyone at the office - including your ex - thinks you’re dating.
Word Count: TBD
Genre: Faking dating, Coworkers to Lovers, Romcom
Type: Smut, some fluff and crack
Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
Warnings: Full fic warnings TBD but general warnings include explicit language, explicit sexual content, a little bit of a miscom trope, a hint of angst, a whole lotta stupid!
Written for the Lonely Hearts Cafe Collab by @camandemstudios
Masterlist | Ask | Join Tag List
COMING FRIDAY, FEB. 14
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“Well,” Vernon (from IT) eventually says. “No harm done once you tell everyone we’re not dating.”
“Once I what?”
“Well you’ll have to-”
“No way.”
“What?”
“Do you know how embarrassing that would be?”
He raises a brow. “More embarrassing than grabbing some dude in the bookstore and claiming he’s your boyfriend.”
The air leaves your lungs and you melt into the seat, your misery showing. “I already said sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Just tell everyone you broke up with me.” You snort.
“No one would believe that.”
“Why?”
Instead of answering him immediately, you busy yourself unraveling silverware. It’s a hard question to answer, not because you don’t know the answer but because you don’t want to tell him. Vernon (from IT) is quiet, though. Patient.
He doesn’t press you for an answer, happy to wait you out until you’ve folded your napkin and placed it on your lap, and once again drained the rest of your water. It does nothing for your nerves as you fixate on a spot atop the table.
“I don’t… date.”
“You dated Minho.”
“Yeah. That’s uh… it. It’s kind of a running joke that I am undateable.”
He frowns at that. “Respectfully, I find that incredibly hard to believe.”
“Thanks. I think.” You pick at a string in the tablecloth. “Anyway, no one would buy that I ended the first relationship I’ve had since Minho. I didn’t even end the last one and sort of clung to it in a way that was sort of embarrassing.”
“I see.”
You’re unsure if he really does. When Minho had broken up with you, you’d attempt to make arguments to keep him around. Offered less work hours, even said you’d go to therapy to talk about your insane need for success. He hadn’t wanted any of it, and you’d eventually realized that he just… didn’t want you.
They never did, when people realized what dating you entails. Everyone wants a woman who works hard. They like the illusion of it, the woman who gets up early in the morning and goes to workout before going to her corporate job and girl bossing all day long. They desire the woman who dresses fashionably, who wears designer tags and commands a room all day before coming home to make an effortless dinner followed by a luxurious night routine.
And you get it. You want to be that too. But the truth is most days you wake up past your alarm and rush to the office wearing shoes that don’t match, and sometimes you come home so late and burned out from your job that you eat a handful of shredded cheese over the sink with a stick of beef jerky, only to do it all again the next day.
That wasn’t what anyone wanted. At least, not in your experience.
“Anyway,” you clear your throat. “You’re right, or whatever. I should just tell them I lied. I’ve given worse news. Just you know - less personal.”
For a few minutes, Vernon (from IT) is quiet. You don’t look up to meet his gaze. Instead you watch the ice cubes in your glass melt, little beads of condensation zigzagging down the curve of your glass.
A sigh makes you look up at Vernon (from IT). “What if we dated for like a month or something?”
“What?”
“I don’t mean really date,” he offers quickly, sensing your surprise. For some reason, that stings a little. You swallow it down past the knot forming in your throat. “It’ll get people off your back or whatever and we can just mutually end things.”
“Really? You’d do that.”
He shrugs a shoulder. “I guess, yeah.”
“You can break up with me,” you promise eagerly, leaning forward with the new promise of a solution to your problem. “Everyone will believe it. Just say I work too much and I’m too obsessed with my career.”
An uneasy gaze flickers in Vernon (from IT)’s eyes. “It can be mutual,” he says firmly. “That way it ends nicely.”
“Fine. Everyone will think one thing anyway, you’ll get out without a scratch, trust me. Are you sure you’re willing to do this? I can… suck it up and tell everyone I made it up.”
“Do you really want to?”
“No,” you admit.
“Then it’s settled.” He shrugs, heaving a heavy sigh. “I’ll give you a month and then we can mutually end things.”
Sticking your hand over the table, you offer it for Vernon (from IT) to shake. His mouth twitches a little as he smiles, leaning forward to take your hand. His is warm and softer than you imagined, enveloping yours firmly as he shakes.
“Deal,” you smile, feeling a glimmer of hope.
Just like that, Vernon (from IT) becomes Vernon (your boyfriend).
Sort of.
#loneleyheartscafecollab#vernon smut#hansol smut#chwe vernon smut#chwe hansol smut#hansol x reader#vernon x reader#svt smut#svt fic#vernon x you#vernon angst#svt fanfic#svt imagines#svt x reader
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OOPS
Buck feels sick. Has been all day, really, all through a shift of minor kitchen fires and people locked out of their apartments. Not too much cotton candy sick but sick like the morning of your sister's wedding to a guy you don't trust. Sick like walking through the wreckage left in the wake of a wave.
It's dumb. He's being dumb. He knows he's being dumb. People's friends move away all the time. At least Eddie’s basically one straight line away. He's still in the same country; hell, practically the same time zone. It's not the end of the world.
But it sure fuckin feels like it.
So Buck’s feeling sick, sitting on the couch, Eddie’s couch, staring up at the ceiling with a half-drunk bottle of beer - Eddie’s beer, left behind in Eddie’s fridge - balanced on his thigh when his cell starts blaring Eye of the Tiger. He set the song as Eddie’s ringtone years ago, after some running joke he doesn't even remember anymore, except that Eddie hated it, but whenever Eddie stole his phone to change it Buck always changed it back. Now, in the quiet of Eddie’s almost-empty house, the tune makes Buck startle so hard the bottle tips off his leg and onto the couch, beer spilling out over the cushion.
"Shit," Buck gasps, catching the bottle too late. He shoves it onto the coffee table and - no tissues to hand, not even a newspaper - tugs his tee over his head and presses it into the damp spot, grabbing his cell with his other hand. "H-hey, man. Hey. What's up? How're you settling in?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Eddie replies, his voice warm and steady.
It’s pavlovian, probably, the way Buck sinks back into the couch at the sound of Eddie’s voice.
“Which?” he says.
“Both. Either.”
“I’m, uh… it’s weird without you.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Same here.”
Buck closes his eyes, tucking his cell phone in close against his ear. In the dark behind his eyelids, Eddie could just be in another room - in the kitchen, grabbing Buck another beer. Out of sight, but close enough that Buck can breathe again, for the first time since the U-Haul rounded the corner and disappeared from view.
“Already made a mess of your couch,” he says. Aiming for joking, but his voice comes out lower than he intended, and he hears Eddie’s breath hitch in his ear.
There’s a pause.
“What do you mean?” Eddie asks, his voice low too.
“Spilled my beer. I’m soaking it up with my shirt as we speak.”
“Which shirt?”
“Just a plain grey tee. Won’t matter if it stains, thankfully.”
The pause is longer this time. With anyone else, the silence would be weird, but - well, this is Eddie. They’ve both nodded off on calls to each other before, multiple times, or muted themselves to take a crap or eat a sandwich. So Buck waits, easy, letting his head sink further back into the couch cushion, his free hand brushing up and down his bare chest. Fingers trailing around his belly button and down to the hem of his pants, then back up again, while Eddie breathes out long and slow, and the sound and the touch combined leaves Buck’s skin tingling..
“So you’re just… half naked on the couch?” Eddie says at last. He could be standing in the archway now, staring at Buck incredulously - he can picture it - or, no - Eddie’s voice pitched low, shaded with amusement - or, no -
Buck’s fingertips slip beneath the elastic of his waistband.
“Pretty much, yeah,” he admits.
“Which… which side of the couch?”
“The right.”
“That’s my spot,” says Eddie.
Buck’s dick twitches. This might be getting weird. But he doesn’t feel sick anymore, he doesn’t feel lonely - how could he when Eddie is right there, his voice right against Buck’s ear.
Mouth dry, heart hammering, Buck says, “I’m keeping it warm for you.”
He hears Eddie inhale sharply. A muffled sound, like - like - clothing rustling. Like a wet gasp. Buck can picture this too - Eddie, not in the archway any longer, but standing behind Buck, no, in front of Buck, standing over Buck with his eyes dark and - and wanting.
Eddie says, “Good.”
With a groan he can’t suppress, Buck shoves his hand fully into his sweatpants. He’s already half hard and his dick jerks in his grip as soon as he wraps his hand around it. He has to squash his cell tight between his shoulder and his ear to shove his pants and boxers down with his other hand, lifting his hips up just high enough and pushing the waistband down just low enough for his dick to spring free. He’s panting - he’s panting right into his phone, and Eddie must be able to hear it, Eddie must know what he’s doing.
The thought makes Buck feel dizzy.
“Wh-what’s your new couch like?” he gasps out, squeezing his dick so hard it’s just this side of painful, his thumb rubbing over his slit in the way that’s always made him shiver. Already wet.
“It’s… uh… green.”
“Comfy?”
“Not - not bad.”
Buck’s seen Eddie sweating. He’s seen Eddie panting, after a hard workout, with his hair damp and his mouth open and wet and red. He’s seen Eddie close his eyes in pleasure, from the first sip of coffee in the morning or the first swig of beer after a long day. He can picture it all, eyes screwed tight shut, tugging his dick hard and fast - one foot up on Eddie’s coffee table for leverage and his head pressed back into Eddie’s couch - in Eddie’s house. He’s not a guest. He’s not a guest.
“I miss you,” Buck groans without meaning to.
“Me too,” Eddie gasps back. “Buck, Buck, I miss you so fucking much-”
Buck comes with all the air punched out of his lungs, with his foot kicking out and knocking the almost empty beer bottle onto the floor, back bowed and mouth wide open and his eyes still shut so tightly that white stars flash behind his eyelids. His cell slips out of his fingers, bouncing onto the couch cushions. Buck pants and pants for air.
When he picks his phone back up again, the other line is silent. But he can hear Eddie breathing, hard and fast at first, then slower. Deep breaths. Buck opens his eyes and waits.
“I miss you,” Eddie says again at last.
“I miss you too.”
“I gotta go,” Eddie says. “But I’ll - we’ll - call me, okay? Or I’ll call you. I’m sorry. I gotta go.”
But he doesn’t hang up. So Buck doesn’t either, wiping off his stomach with his damp, beer-stained t-shirt, and tucking himself back into his pants one-handed while he holds his cell with the other. He drifts into Eddie’s bedroom and flops down onto Eddie’s bed. Props the phone against Eddie’s pillow so he can listen for Eddie’s breaths.
“I’m sleeping on your side of the bed,” Buck whispers, and waits.
It’s not long.
“Good,” Eddie whispers back.
CONSIDER: buck and eddie start accidentally having really niche phone sex about how buck is in eddie's house and sleeping in eddie's old bed and jerking it on eddie's old couch etc, without either of them admitting that phone sex is what they're doing
eddie, in a what are you wearing voice: where are you?
buck, Hard: on your couch
eddie, Also Hard: oh nice
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hiiiiiii jay!! ive been having an unhealthy sleeping schedule lately, so i just wanted to know what you think frank would do if he catches you up pulling an all-nighter cause of some uni work when he came home from one of his missions. most especially, when you tell him you’ve done it for three straight nights while he was gone…
FRANK knew something was off the second he stepped into the apartment. it was quiet, too quiet, but not in the way that usually meant safety. the tv wasn’t on, no music played softly from your phone, and you didn’t come running up to him the second he locked the door behind him.
his gut clenched.
he slipped off his boots, careful not to track any dirt or blood onto the floor, and listened. he heard it then - the faint sound of typing. quick, rhythmic, desperate.
with a sigh, he followed it, walking toward the kitchen, where the glow of your laptop screen cast shadows across your face. papers were scattered everywhere, some crumpled, some covered in highlighter. empty redbull cans were scattered around the tabletop. a half-eaten granola bar sat next to an empty coffee cup, and another coffee was in your hand, fingers curled tight around it like a lifeline.
you didn’t even notice him.
“sweetheart.” his voice was low, firm.
you startled, eyes snapping up. he saw the exhaustion in them instantly - red-rimmed, glassy, dark circles bruising your skin.
“frank,” you breathed, blinking fast like you were trying to clear your vision.
he didn’t move toward you just yet, but he looked you over, taking in the way your hands trembled around the coffee cup, the way your shoulders sagged under the weight of whatever you were doing.
“what’re you doin’ up?” he asked, though he already had an idea.
“just… finishing some stuff,” you mumbled, eyes darting back to your laptop. “it’s nothing, really.”
he glanced at the time on the microwave. 4:12 a.m.
his jaw ticked.
“when’s the last time you slept?”
you hesitated, biting your lip, and he knew right then you were about to say something he wouldn’t like.
“um … a little bit, here and there,” you finally said, voice too soft, too small.
frank sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “baby.”
“it’s fine,” you tried to reassure him, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i just needed to catch up on work. it’s been kinda crazy, and i thought, you know, since you were gone, i’d just - ”
“how long?”
your mouth opened, closed.
he took a step forward. “how long you been doin’ this?”
“…three nights.”
his nostrils flared.
“three damn nights?” his voice was sharper now, and you flinched. not out of fear, but because you knew how much he hated this - hated seeing you worn down, pushing yourself past your limits. you’d hate to see him disappointed in you but in your defence, you thought he’d be home a whole lot later.
“i just - i had to, frank,” you whispered. “i got so behind, and i didn’t want you to come back to me all stressed and falling apart, so i just - ”
his hands were on you before you could finish, tugging you up and out of the chair, wrapping you up tight against him. you didn’t even realize you were crying until he sighed against your hair, feeling the dampness on his shirt.
“sweetheart,” he murmured, voice rough with something heavy, something that made your chest ache. “you think i care ‘bout any of that? you think i want you doin’ this to yourself?”
“i just wanted to keep up,” you sniffled, fingers fisting in his jacket. “i didn’t wanna be a mess when you got back.”
he pulled back just enough to cup your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. his eyes, dark and tired but so damn full of love, locked onto yours.
“you could be the biggest damn mess in the world, and i wouldn’t care. you hear me?” he said, low and firm. “don’t wanna come home to you runnin’ yourself into the ground. don’t wanna see you like this.”
you nodded, lower lip trembling, and he groaned, pressing a kiss there, then another, then another, like he was trying to fix it, to erase the exhaustion, the stress, the weight you’d been carrying alone.
“c’mon,” he muttered, tugging you toward the bedroom. “you’re done. no more of this.”
“but - ”
he shot you a look. “no buts. you’re gonna sleep.”
you wanted to protest, but the second you hit the bed, exhaustion slammed into you like a tidal wave. you barely registered the weight of him next to you, pulling you against his chest, hand rubbing slow, soothing circles against your back.
“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he whispered against your hair, voice soft, warm. “always.”
and for the first time in three nights, you believed it.
ᰔ frank castle : @stvr-dust, @uncertified-doc, @erospecies
taglist form linked in pinned post :3
#hi i felt this in the depths of my soul uni is kicking my ass#thank you for requesting i really liked writing this#if u wanna req again i’ll make it less short💕#jay writes!#frank castle🎀#frank castle#frank castle prompt#frank castle x reader#frank castle smut#frank castle x you#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle fluff#the punisher#punisher x reader#the punisher x reader#frank castle fic#frank castle angst#jon bernthal#jon bernthal x reader#mcu#marvel#bucky barnes#steve rogers#charlie cox#matt murdock#daredevil
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Just Stay | yjw
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— Jungwon x Reader Slow-Burn Romance Genre: Angst, Comfort, Mutual Pining, Soft Intimacy Warnings: Emotional tension, longing, implied past hurt, tender moments
Jungwon shouldn’t be here.
Not this late. Not with the way his heart hurts and swells at the same time just looking at you.
But here he is.
Standing in the dim light of your apartment, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, his face unreadable, but his eyes—
They tell a different story.
One of exhaustion, of longing, of something unspoken that’s been buried for far too long.
"You okay?" Your voice is soft, hesitant.
You know the answer. He knows you know. But you ask anyway, like you always do—giving him the space to choose, to come to you when he’s ready.
Jungwon exhales, running a hand through his already-messy hair.
"I just—" He stops, shakes his head, lets out a quiet chuckle that holds no humor. "I don’t know."
And you understand. Of course you do.
Because this isn’t the first time he’s shown up at your door like this.
You step aside, wordlessly inviting him in. He doesn’t hesitate.
The apartment is quiet, filled only with the soft hum of the city outside. It’s safe here—a place untouched by the weight of everything that lingers between you two.
Jungwon walks toward the couch and sits down with a sigh, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees.
You sit beside him, not too close, but close enough that if he wants—if he needs—you’re there.
"Do you want to talk about it?" you ask.
A pause.
Then, Jungwon shakes his head. "Not really."
You nod.
And that’s the thing about you and him.
You never push. Never demand answers. Never make him feel like he has to be anything more than what he is—a boy who carries too much on his shoulders but doesn’t know how to set it down. A boy who is so, so tired.
So, you sit there. Just existing together in the quiet. At some point, your fingers brush against his, and neither of you move away. The warmth is subtle but earth-shattering. Jungwon’s shoulders relax. The tension in his jaw eases. His breathing slows.
"Stay."
The word leaves your lips before you can stop it.
Jungwon stiffens, like he wasn’t expecting it—but you see it. The way his fingers tighten ever so slightly around yours, the way his throat bobs as he swallows.
The way his body betrays him—because he wants to.
He wants to stay.
Maybe it’s reckless. Maybe it’s dangerous. But right now, none of that matters. He turns his head, and for the first time since he arrived, he really looks at you.
"Are you sure?" His voice is quiet.
You nod. "Always."
A moment passes.
Then, Jungwon moves.
Slow, deliberate. He shifts closer, his fingers lacing with yours completely now, his forehead pressing against your temple.
He sighs—a sound of surrender, of relief.
"Okay," he whispers. "Then I’ll stay."
#enhypen jungwon#enhypen au#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#jungwon au#jungwon fluff#jungwon x reader#yang jungwon#kpop fanfic#kpop au#kpop#jungwon soft thoughts#jungwon scenarios#jungwon soft hours#jungwon#jungwon angst#jungwon fanfic
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WILDFLOWER | G.A
inspired by billie eilish's wildflower. I think you can already predict that it's very angst. I cried writing this and I love it even more because of it.
𓍼 WORD COUNT: 3390
𓍼 SUMMARY: after listening to Two People on Good Riddance tour something invades you, like a fever.
𓍼 WARNINGS: angst, good ending...
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good riddance had been out for a few months now, yet you still remembered the nights when gracie came home late from the studio. it might have seemed like a bad thing, but she always found a way to make it up to you—small surprises, late-night apologies that always ended with her between your legs—so, in the end, it was never really that bad.
one of the things you admired most about her was her honesty, especially when it came to her feelings. while working on the album, she never let you forget how much she loved you, how important your relationship was, and how those lyrics were nothing more than echoes of old wounds.
more than anyone, you understood what this album meant to her. it wasn’t just a way to express everything she had been through, but the first project that was truly hers, a piece of her heart laid bare. and you had been there for every part of it.
before love ever crossed your mind, you and gracie were just friends. and you had the luck—or maybe the curse—of knowing her ex-boyfriend, of watching them grow together and, eventually, fall apart.
it should have been easy to let time wash it all away, to accept that the past was nothing more than that. you had promised yourself it wouldn’t matter anymore. you had promised gracie, too.
but then two people started playing.
and when gracie sang that one specific line—
"and you know, you know every inch of my body"
that was when the tears started falling, before you could even think about stopping them. that was the night you started seeing him in the back of your mind again when you started feeling like you were burning alive.
but you knew she didn't mean to hurt you.
so you kept it to yourself.
…
the next morning, usually filled with kisses and silly conversations, is ruined by a tension that settles between you like something unspoken—thick and heavy. the air inside the apartment feels too still, as if it’s holding its breath, waiting for one of you to break the silence.
gracie leans against the sink, absentmindedly stirring her tea, though you’re not even sure if she actually intends to drink it. her fingers tap a slow rhythm against the ceramic mug, eyes fixed on some distant point.
you sit on a stool by the counter, arms crossed, so close yet so far away. the hum of the fridge, the faint ticking of the clock on the wall—everything sounds too loud in the midst of the silence between you.
"are you really not going to talk to me?" gracie finally says, her voice quieter than usual but heavy with frustration.
you exhale through your nose, hearing your own heartbeat echo inside your head. "i don’t know what you want me to say."
"i want you to say whatever it is that’s bothering you."
you shake your head, staring at a spot on the floor. "it’s nothing, gracie."
she laughs, but there’s no humor in it. "liar. you shut down the moment we got home. you barely looked at me all night. just tell me what’s going on!"
"i already told you—i’m fine."
"no, you’re not." she leans forward slightly, exasperated. "and i’m tired of pretending i don’t notice when you’re upset just because you refuse to talk to me."
your chest tightens. part of you knows she’s right. but another part—the one that’s been burning since last night, since that damn song and the way it made something ugly take root inside you—wants to resist.
you run your hands through your hair, a habit stolen from her. "maybe i just don’t want to talk about it, okay?"
gracie shakes her head. "god, why do you always do this? why do you always push me away when something’s wrong?"
"because i don’t want to fight with you!" you snap, your voice rising as your patience wears thin. "i don’t want to ruin the morning or… or make things weird before your show!"
gracie exhales sharply, setting her mug down on the counter harder than she intended. "and you think not talking makes everything better? because right now, it just feels like you’re shutting me out."
you press your fingers against your forehead, breathing heavily. "i just need time, okay?"
"time for what?" her voice wavers now, a trace of hurt seeping in. "for me to stop asking? for me to just sit here and pretend i don’t see that you’re upset?"
"for me to figure out how to talk without sounding like an idiot!"
that makes her pause. the tension between you crackles in the air, the silence stretching too long.
gracie swallows, the sound making you shiver.
"you know what? forget it," she says, turning back to the sink and picking up her tea.
you close your eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. "gracie—"
"no, i get it." she cuts you off, taking a long sip. "you don’t want to talk. fine."
gracie turns back to you, searching your face for some sign of regret, but she finds nothing but confusion.
"in the end, i’m always the only one trying to fix things," she says before walking away, the sound of her heavy footsteps echoing as she climbs the stairs.
you stay there, sitting on the stool, staring at the empty space where gracie stood just seconds ago.
your fingers grip the edge of the counter, and you let out a shaky breath, frustration still pulsing beneath your skin. this wasn’t how you wanted the morning to go. this wasn’t how you wanted things to be before her show.
but now it’s done.
you rub your face, trying to clear your thoughts. but everything feels blurred, tangled—a mess of emotions you don’t know how to unravel.
the apartment suddenly feels too small. the air inside it, too heavy.
you need to get out.
standing up quickly, you grab a sweatshirt draped over a chair and shove your keys into your pocket. the soft click of the door unlocking echoes through the apartment, but there’s no sound from upstairs. no attempt to stop you from leaving.
a part of you wishes there was.
you walk down the stairs slowly, hands buried in your pockets, with no real destination in mind. you just keep moving.
the cold morning air hits you the moment you step outside, and an immediate urge to cry swells inside you. your nose starts to sting, your eyes well up, and before you know it, those words are replaying in your head again.
"and you know, you know every inch of my body."
you know she loves you. you should let this go, shouldn’t you? but he lingers, always there, in the back of your mind.
last night, when gracie wrapped her arms around you, kissed the nape of your neck, and told you she loved you, you wanted to turn around, hold her tighter, tell her you loved her more, and start a silly argument over it.
but every time she touched you, all you could think about was how he felt.
had gracie ever looked at you and seen him? in the dark of the bedroom, between kisses and whispered promises, had a part of him ever slipped into her mind?
and if, just for a moment, she had wished it was him instead of you?
you try to push the thought away, try to hold onto the certainties gracie gives you—the way she reaches for your hand without thinking, the way her eyes light up when she talks about you, the i love yous that sound so real.
but doubt creeps in, spreading like a loose thread unraveling everything.
what if they’re not?
what if, deep down, you’re only here because he’s not?
the thought tightens in your chest. you swallow hard and keep walking, unfamiliar streets closing in around you.
but nothing feels as endless or inescapable as the maze inside your own mind.
…
the lights dim, and the crowd erupts into cheers. the air is electric, pulsing with anticipation, and gracie feels it thrumming through her veins. she grips the microphone tightly, fingers trembling just slightly, but she forces herself to take a deep breath. this is her moment—her show. no matter what happened this morning, she needs to push through.
but she knows better than to think she can just shut it out.
as she steps onto the stage, her eyes scan the audience, moving quickly over the sea of faces. the adrenaline in her chest spikes as she catches sight of you.
standing near the back, hands buried in your pockets, shoulders drawn tight, looking at her like you’re not sure whether you want to be here or not.
the moment stretches between you, thick with words left unsaid.
gracie knows that for months she has been exposing you to these painful memories embedded in her own songs. but she also knows that they are past pains, without weight or meaning, and she expected you to know that too. if something was wrong, you would tell her. wouldn't you? but as she stands there, watching you from the stage, doubt grips her chest.
did i cross the line?
abrams swallows hard, forcing herself to keep moving, to wave at the fans screaming her name, to smile like she’s okay. but her mind is already somewhere else, stuck in the heaviness of this morning, the way you looked at her, the sound of the door clicking shut behind you as you left.
she drags in another breath, stepping up to the mic as the opening chords of the first song hum through the speakers. the setlist is the same as always, but tonight, everything feels different. she wonders if you can feel it too, if the weight pressing down on her is pressing down on you as well.
and then the next song starts.
the one that ruined everything last night.
the crowd sings along, voices blending with hers. her gaze, however, is locked on yours. she sings the line without hesitation, without breaking, watching the way your jaw clenches, your eyes darkening just slightly. she wonders if you can tell that she’s looking at you. if you can hear what she’s trying to say through the words that once meant something else.
i didn’t mean to hurt you.
it’s just a song. it’s just a song.
but that doesn’t make it any less real, does it?
the song ends, the moment passes, and yet, the weight lingers. the rest of the show blurs together—flashes of movement, chords, applause—but that moment stays lodged in her ribs, burning like something she doesn’t know how to name.
by the time the final song fades, the crowd’s cheers ring in her ears, and gracie barely remembers getting through it. sweat clings to her skin as she steps backstage, her heart still pounding too fast, and she doesn’t know if it’s from the performance or the way you looked at her.
she doesn’t have time to figure it out before she hears movement behind her.
turning slowly, she finds you standing there, just a few feet away.
you’re still wearing that same guarded expression, the one that makes something in her ache, but there’s something else beneath it now. something hesitant. something like regret.
she wants to say something, anything—but what is there to say?
where were you?
are you okay?
i’m sorry?
but before she can choose the perfect false words, you take the first step. "we should talk… at home."
"yeah, definitely," she says almost automatically.
you hold each other’s gaze for a moment, both fidgeting with your hands—shared habits.
the ride home is silent. the radio plays some random melody, but neither of you really listens. gracie keeps her hands on her thighs, fingers restless, resisting the urge to reach out. she doesn’t know if it would be welcomed. if she still can.
on the other side, you stare out the window, your hand so close to hers. close enough that if one of you just…
but no one moves.
back home, the silence is just as heavy. gracie drops her bag on the counter but doesn’t step away, fingers gripping the marble as if she needs something solid to hold onto.
this time, there are no distractions. just the two of you and the space between you.
"can we talk now?" gracie asks, her voice low.
"yeah," you answer hesitant. but it takes a moment before you can actually speak.
gracie’s breath seems caught in her chest as she waits, and you hate it—hate how uncertainty spreads across her features, like she’s bracing for something bad. but the truth is, you don’t even know how to put what you’re feeling into words.
you run your tongue over your dry lips before finally saying:
"that song last night, two people… it really fucked me up."
gracie blinks a few times, surprised by the raw honesty in your voice. she swallows hard before responding.
"i didn’t…" she pauses, the words dying before they fully form. "i didn’t mean for it to hurt you."
"i know." you squeeze your fingers, letting out a heavy sigh. "but it did."
gracie nods slowly, eyes fixed on you, unsure of where to step. "you never said anything before. about the song, about…" she hesitates. "him."
"because i thought i was fine," you admit, your voice coming out rougher than you intended. "i thought i had let it go. but hearing it—hearing you sing it—just brought everything back, and i hated it. i hated that it still gets to me."
gracie stays silent for a moment, her gaze locked on you like she’s searching for the right thing to say. then, in a hesitant, almost resigned tone, she asks:
"do you want me to stop singing it?"
do you want that?
"because if you do, i will."
"of course not," you say, shaking your head. "that’s not the point, gracie."
"then what is the point?"
"i don’t fucking know!" tears start streaming down your face, and suddenly, you’ve never felt more exposed than now. "i’m sorry…" you bring your hands up to your face, as if trying to hide somehow.
gracie doesn’t think. she just moves.
before she can second-guess herself, she closes the space between you, wrapping her arms around your trembling frame. you tense at first, your body stiff against hers, but then, slowly, you sink into it.
your hands clutch the fabric of her jacket, desperate for something to hold onto, something solid in the middle of everything unraveling inside you.
gracie presses her face into your hair, eyes squeezing shut. "hey," she whispers, voice barely steady. "it’s okay. you don’t have to be sorry."
but you shake your head against her shoulder, fingers tightening. "i hate this," you choke out. "i hate feeling like this. like i’m stuck. like i—" your breath catches, breaking apart in your throat.
gracie pulls back just enough to look at you, cradling your face in her hands, her thumbs brushing the tears from your cheeks. her gaze is searching, pained, but steady. "then don’t do it alone." she almost whispers. "let me be here. let us figure this out together."
"look at me," she continues, tilting your chin up with gentle fingers.
your breath hitches. "gracie—"
"i love you."
you swallow hard, eyes flickering between hers. "i know that you love me."
"no." her grip tightens, not to hold you in place, but to make you feel her, to feel the weight of what she’s saying. she looks at you like she’s searching for something deeper, something that words alone can’t reach. "i don’t want you to just know. i need you to feel it. i need you to feel it in every vein in your body, how much i want you, how much i love you, y/n."
your chest tightens, throat burning with unshed tears.
"you’re my baby, my girl, my fucking adorable, sweet princess," she breathes, her forehead resting against yours. "i’d give you the whole damn universe if you asked me. and i’m sorry for not noticing how hard this has been for you."
"you don’t have to do anything," you shake your head. "it’s not your responsibility. it’s not your fault."
gracie lets out a soft, almost disbelieving laugh, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with her thumb. "i’m your girlfriend, of course it’s my responsibility. but it’s not just that—i want to. i want to be here. i want to hold this with you."
you let out a shaky breath, your forehead still pressed against hers. the warmth of her hands, the closeness of her body, it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
gracie watches you, waiting, giving you space even as she holds you close. there’s no rush, no expectation. just her, just this moment, just the steady rhythm of her breathing mixing with yours.
"i don’t know how to stop feeling like this," you admit, voice barely above a whisper.
"you don’t have to figure it out all at once. we’ll take it one step at a time. no pressure, no rush. just us."
you close your eyes for a moment, letting yourself lean into her, feeling the warmth of her presence wrap around you like something safe, something solid.
then, after a beat, you whisper, "say it again."
gracie pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, her lips curving into a soft, knowing smile. "i love you."
you shake your head. "no. the whole thing."
her hands tighten around your face, eyes dark and unwavering as she speaks again, voice like a vow:
"i don’t want you to just know how much i love you. i need you to feel it. in every breath, every touch, every part of you. you’re my baby, my girl, my sweet, adorable princess. and i’d give you the universe if you asked me."
tears slip silently down your cheeks, but this time, they don’t feel heavy. it’s love, because of love.
gracie catches one with her thumb, her smile turning just a little teasing, a little mischievous. "and i’m never singing two people again unless you say it’s okay."
you let out a breathy, tearful laugh, shoving her shoulder lightly. "i never said that."
she grins, eyes crinkling, before she leans in and presses the softest, most deliberate kiss to your lips. like a promise. like a beginning.
gracie doesn’t pull away right away. she lingers her lips barely brushing yours, memorizing the shape of you, like she’s making sure you feel every ounce of her love in that kiss. when she finally does part from you, it’s only far enough to rest her forehead against yours again, her breath mingling with yours in the small space between you.
"you okay?"
you nod, a little shy now, a little overwhelmed but in a way that doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
she smiles, thumbs still tracing light patterns on your cheeks before one hand slips down, lacing her fingers with yours. "come here," she says, giving your hand the gentlest tug.
abrams leads you to the couch, pulling you down with her, and before you can even think, she’s tucking you against her side, wrapping you up in warmth. it’s so easy, so effortless—the way your body finds its place against hers, the way her arm fits snugly around your waist, like you were always meant to be here.
"do you wanna talk more?" she asks after a moment, her voice soft. "or do you just wanna stay like this for a while?"
you don’t answer right away. instead, you shift, pressing your face into the curve of her neck, breathing her in. she smells like vanilla and something distinctly her, something comforting.
"this," you murmur against her skin. "just this."
gracie hums, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. "okay, baby. just this."
and so you stay there, tangled together in the quiet, her fingers trailing lazy patterns along your back, your hands resting against her chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of her breathing.
it’s not perfect. there’s still a lot to talk about, a lot to work through. but for now, in this moment, in her arms, you feel safe.
and that’s enough.
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guys…
thanks for reading <3
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hi pookie if you have dicking around time i would love for you to drop some nabil hcs i miss that guy
AHHHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE TALKING MY SHIT ABOUT MY HEADCANONS AND NABIL MAHMOUD IS MY BABY-- this is a few days late tho because #busylife BUT LETS DO THIS!!!!
where to start? hmm. okay like in my mind nabil is really energetic, but in a chill and quiet way? idk if that makes sense. he isn't necessarily loud, but he does always have something to say and there's always a joke ready on his tongue.
this man has such random lore. like he knows basically everyone.
also has a lot to do with the fact he doesn't say no to hanging out like ever. oh you're bored and want to drive around? let's do it! you want to get coffee? just let me grab my shoes. oh you just want to leave the dorms and have no idea what to do? we'll figure something out on our way.
and not just with people on his team. it's also people from his classes. friends of his friends. people from other majors. just basically anyone he has ever met.
this also lead to him staying up for three days straight with derek thompson btw (to me they match each other's freak okay)
this guy doesn't go to most of his classes by the way, but he always passes his exams with flying colors (also has a lot to do with the fact he does not respect a good sleep schedule and just pulls all nighters when he thinks he needs them).
he skips so many classes to hang out with tony <333 and tony loves spending time with him so much he pretends like he doesn't have nabil's schedule memorised and isn't aware that nabil is supposed to be following his classes instead.
both tony and nabil are spider-man obsessed and they have comic dates where they go buy new comics together or hang out to read them. they're losers your honour <333
his brain works in mysterious ways. this guy is always using arabic phrases and words in his sentences and most of the time he doesn't even realize it or just assumes everyone on the team has spent so much time with him that they know what he means.
like if someone fouls him during games or something happens during practices he goes "bro what the fuck was that?! that was haram!" (not allowed in islam). it doesn't even make sense in the context, because of course it isn't even haram he's just a silly guy.
nabil is a MAJOR football (soccer) fan. he actually barely watches exy games meanwhile he catches every barça and PSG game and has crazy ball knowledge.
ever since jean joins the team and he gets to know jean better he always takes a piss at the french language (we gotta do it for our ancestors).
his french isn't the best, but he does know a few phrases here and there and likes showing off in front of jean (jean is not impressed btw)
he also listens a lot to french rap (doesn't every north african guy?) and rai (algerian folk music). i actually need to make him a playlist now that I mention it.
hmm what else? idk. i wanted to go into his ramadan lore since it's almost that of the year, but i don't have that much for him.
just know ramadan nights are CRAZY and he comes back with crazy late night stories.
"oh yeah so i was at the mosque and this guy THREW UP right next to me."
"let's go get smoothies?" he texts around midnight to the groupchat. laila obviously joins him since she's participating too, but that leads to cat joining in and obviously tony is already there. cody never sleeps either, so they're up for the late night food/drink run. shawn joins because #fomo but falls asleep in the car. derek is in the passenger seat next to nabil and is drinking and eating as much as nabil is. everyone (but shawn for once) is energetic and having a blast.
midnight is still the normal hour for him. he also does another run @ 4am. once again cody joins him and this time lucas is there too. laila is responsible enough to just eat and drink something quickly at home before praying and heading back to bed again.
then it's the next day and nabil is #dead since he didn't respect himself enough to get a normal amount of sleep nor can he get any energy drinks (which he normally drinks)
#i never know if y'all fw my head canons but here you go#i want to say i need to write a ramadan midnight snack run one shot but we all know i won't do it#so can someone else pull thru for me LMAO#nabil mahmoud#headcanons#all for the game#the sunshine court#aftg#usc trojans
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I am 19 days late but I will spill some beans, since there’s no better way to learn how tumblr works than to actually interact with stuff haha.
Beans I’ll spill come from Signed, R.A.B., more specifically they come from Chapter 9: The Empty House, which is not yet published but hopefully will be soon-ish.
It's set during spring 1969. The boys are home alone, and Sirius knows just what to do with the adults gone and the house to themselves. Regulus is... not so sure:
‘What if they come home? What if they catch us breaking even more rules? We’re not even supposed to be out of our rooms!’
‘Well, if they come back, we’ll just run back to our rooms and pretend we’ve been there the whole time.’
Regulus bit his lip. It didn’t sound like a very good idea.
‘Oh, come on, Reggie! It’ll be fun! We could play duelling, or act out the Goblin Rebellions. Or—’ His face lit up. ‘We could get out the broomsticks!’
‘I’m not going outside again! Not after last time.’
‘We’ll fly in here. Oh, please, Regulus, just this once!’
Sirius was practically jumping up and down in anticipation of flying across the house. Regulus, however, still wasn’t convinced.
‘We’re not allowed to fly inside.’
‘They’ll never even know,’ said Sirius. ‘What are you so worried for?’
Regulus crossed his arms. ‘I won’t do it. It’s forbidden.’
‘Oh, come on! This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Besides, you need practice. You still wobble too much when you turn.’
‘I do not!’
‘You do – but we can fix that. If you come fly with me, that is.’
Regulus sighed. ‘I don’t know …’
‘Yeah, you do,’ Sirius said. ‘You know you want to have some fun!’
Regulus sighed. There was something thrilling about the idea.
‘All right,’ he said, for the second time that afternoon, and he really, really hoped he wouldn’t come to regret it.
He followed Sirius back up the stairs to the topmost landing and he got his own broom from his bedroom. They stood out near the stairs now, both straddling their brooms.
‘All right,’ Sirius said. ‘First one to do ten laps around the chandelier wins.’
Regulus eyed the ornate chandelier hanging from the ceiling above. ‘But what are we playing for?’
He raised his fist as if celebrating a spectacular win. ‘For eternal glory!’
Regulus rolled his eyes. ‘That’s not a real prize.’
‘Fine. Winner gets to pick what we do next.’
That was better. However, he didn’t have time to say so, because Sirius kicked off the ground and rose up to the ceiling. He already began to circle the chandelier.
Regulus pushed off. He wobbled slightly at first, but the broom held steady, floating a few feet above the floor. He saw Sirius shoot past him, reaching out as if to touch one of the ornaments – but he pulled away just in time, laughing.
Regulus leaned forwards, gripping the broom tightly as he urged it higher. He had to win. If only so he could stop this nonsense. There was no knowing what Sirius would want to do next.
Sirius was faster, but Regulus was more precise, and he could easily fly between the dangling crystals without touching them.
‘Show-off!’ Sirius called.
Regulus grinned. ‘Jealous?’
Sirius veered sharply to the left, circling around Regulus before diving at the stairs. ‘Race you down!’
‘But we were going to race around the chandelier!’ he called back. ‘This isn’t fair; you’re already ahead!’
Sirius only laughed, pushing his broom faster.
Regulus chased after him, determined not to lose. He angled his broom lower, matching Sirius’ speed as they sped down another flight—
BANG.
Regulus barely had time to process what had happened. One second, he was flying. The next, Sirius had collided with the staircase, and he and his broomstick tumbled down the rest of the steps.
Regulus followed quickly, tossed his broom away when he reached the floor below, and rushed to his brother’s side. ‘Sirius!’ he called, kneeling beside him. ‘Are you—’
Sirius sat up, grinning. ‘I win.’
And I suppose this is where I tag people in return. @interstellar-jay you’re up (if you want to) (and anyone else who sees this I guess) (not sure how this works but oh well).
New Year, New Snippet
Thanks to @magicbeings for tagging me! A little snippet from an upcoming chapter of eruwod, featuring stupid boy humour and Snape as their rightful friend.
“I passed!”
Evan tossed the Prophet aside and immediately rose as Barty ran straight into his arms.
“You passed! That’s amazing and entirely unsurprising!” Evan replied, catching the incoming whirlwind that was Barty and spinning him into a kiss that quickly turned steamy enough for Snape to groan.
“Must you shove your happiness in my face? You’re awfully inconsiderate,” Snape said, rash back on his face.
Evan gave him the middle finger. “You could be a bit more considerate to my eyes as well and do something about that face of yours.”
“Aw, Rosier my love,” Barty pouted. “Don’t be a meany to Snape. It’s not his fault his mum is blind and shagged a trout.”
“Trout is new, I thought it was a bat?” Evan said.
“Was thinking of the eyes,” Barty explained, and they looked Snape up and down.
“Yes, brilliant. Suck on these,” Snape replied, throwing up both his middle fingers.
“Is what your dad said to your mum when he flashed her his fins,” Barty cackled.
Tagging @this-small-boat, @torturedpadfootdepartment, @claudthecat, @arcticmist0324 to force them to share a snippet!
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🎆 Holiday Card Delivery
This one is for @/Carendsyaz1 (on Twitter.) 🎁💕
The cosmic clock forever ticks; Out with the old, in with the new. For any measure, though, I'm thankful To be able to spend this time with you. 🕰️
Happy New Year, my dude! 🥂 Once again, sorry this is running late…!
#🌠 Ashe Anon | Art 🎨#Sephiroth ☄️⚔️#I felt compelled to make this a New Year's piece vs. holiday#since it was already running way too late#so...#New Year's Holiday card FTW!#🎆🎁🐈#🚂#art#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#sephiroth#oc#oc x canon#💨#(I'll return to gift sketches after taking a little break as well!)#🎨🐌💨💨💨
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2009 Italian Grand Prix - Rubens Barrichello & Jenson Button
#i didnt realize rubens won two gps this season!!#im just vaguely aware how many gps everyone else wins so i was sooo convinced lewis was gonna win this since ik he wins two#so that means jense doesnt win any more races? I know he already won 6 but that was months ago for me...i miss my boy on the top step :(#also kimi was on this podium too i just couldnt figure out how to fit him in so this just brawn boys cause i love them!!!#help why am i feeling so endeared to the old man#anyways its been a pretty bad run of races for me hahaha no offense i just wanna see one of my 3 favs on the top step!!!#though at least after singapore itll be a straight RBR run(i tried not to spoil myself but some race results are burned into my brain)#ended up making this way too late at night bcs i was gaming a while and then for some reason thought it was a good idea to finally gif this#so not my fav work tbh bcs of several reasons(not a lot of good footage honestyl!!!)#rubens barrichello#jenson button#brawn#brawn gp#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 italian gp#season: 2009
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I've heard from various sources that waking up after only 3 hours of sleep in the middle of the night (even when you're fucking tired) and having a hard time falling back asleep has something to do with the stress hormones being way too damn high
but how do I reduce the amount of stress hormones in my body when even my mundane everyday life has had me in a constant state of stress for the past 27 years of my life? 🤔
#like fr i vividly remember having serious sleep problems even in primary school. maybe even in kindergarten already#and we never did anything more stressful than learning our shapes and colours for a bit#and then playing with toys and crafting and colouring for the rest of the day#like WHAT WAS TODDLER ME STRESSED OUT ABOUT????#i also remember my parents occasionally retelling the 'funny' incidents of when i was an infant#and literally stealth video game main character snuck my way out of my crib in the middle of the night to go bother them#because i woke up after only a few hours of sleep and could not fall back asleep#and there goes the metaphor of the white rabbit again: feel like i'm always running out of time always too late ALWAYS STRESSED#AND FOR WHAT??? LIKE WHAT IS THE REASON?????#also why it bothers me when doctors say my mystery health issues are stress and i should just chill out#like IF I KNEW HOW I WOULD TOTALLY DO IT MY DUDE#idek why i'm stressed???? I've always been this way ever since i can remember and i don't know WHY
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my holo taco order came in and my mystery polish was one I already have 😭
#there was a list of like 10 and I had two#so I was hopeful I’d get one I didn’t already have#but no. late checkout round 2#I just got that one too like I haven’t even swatched it yet#I got so many polishes last month that it’s genuinely taken me so long to see them all on the nail#and this is one of the ones I haven’t even gotten around to yet!#like I don’t need a second bottle even if it is pretty#that’s the problem I have so many polishes that I never really run out of any colour bc I only use any particular shade a handful of times#even over like the course of a year#like the polish I’m wearing rn for my interview I’ve used maybe 5 times (and thats a decent amount of wear I’ve only had it since Christmas#and the bottle is still nearly full#like no way late checkout gets used enough to need a backup#anyway. like obviously I didn’t have to pay for it so I shouldn’t be complaining#but there were a lot of cool polishes on that list that I don’t have and I’m sad I didn’t get one of those
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#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow#it’s too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
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