#since her English isn't great and also she has no one here other than my father (derogatory)

[freshcut-chetney]

😮‍💨

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

Yandere batfam or justice league with a reader who’s afraid of strong people/men due to a past abusive relationship? She never wants to feel that powerless and weak again so she actively avoids interacting with anyone stronger, bigger, taller any more than necessary. She doesn’t hold it against other ppl she just has a lot of trauma that she’d rather not work through and feel safe in her little bubble

Hit me Hard and Soft

Synopsis: You get saved by Robin, but not everything is as it seems.

Pairing: Yandere!Poly!Romantic!Batboys X Gn!Reader

Tw: All characters aged up, of course; Mentions and descriptions of violence, including physical, psychological, sexual and financial abuse, and Damian fighting criminals (I'm particularly proud of the action scene I wrote); Drugging and being unconscious; Mentions of death of minor characters and suicide; Mentions of past grooming (Reader's ex) and age gap (Reader’s ex, Reader X Bruce, and the batboys age is not mentioned); Implied stalking; Mentions of kidnapping; Reader's very traumatized and weary of everyone; Reader doesn't trust the police; Mention of a panic attack and descriptions of actual panic; Guns and knifes; Mention of cigarettes; Implied needles; English isn't my 1st language.

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: Wish I had more interactions between Reader and the batboys here, but I'm more than willing to make a part 2 with the right idea.

General masterlist | Hit me Hard and Soft - Series masterlist

He's back again. You wish you could say you didn't know why he always came back, but you did. The food wasn't that great and it wasn't that close to where he told you he worked or lived. It also didn't help that he always made sure to be served by you. And that he flirted with you.

— Evening, (N/N)! Is there something as sweet as you on today’s menu? — You gave a small and polite laugh.

— Strawberry pie… As always…

It was kinda sad, but mostly scary. If it wasn't for your ex, you would be thrilled to have gotten the attention of Dick fucking Grayson. The whole city knew he was handsome, rich, talented and charismatic. Gotham's sweetheart, Gotham's golden boy. And from your daily interactions, he lived up to the expectations. He was polite even when flirting with you and asking you out. Yet, something held you back.

— Nice! Since you get out in a few, why don't you bring in two slices? One for me and one for you, it's on me, of course. — You shook your head quickly, with an empty heart, just wanting to get away from him as fast as possible.

You were with your ex since you were 17 to 26. Almost 10 years wasted on a dirtbag. He convinced you to leave your friends, to leave your family, to leave your job. As soon as you started living together, you were completely dependent on him. Sometimes you blamed him, sometimes yourself, sometimes the people you had around you, but back then, where you came from, people weren't questioning the imbalance of powers between a 17 year old highschooler with no job and a 23 year old man with a steady job and living alone.

He convinced you that going to college and ending your relationship was the worst decision you could take. Then, that you didn't need your family, he could take care of you. One day, he decided you couldn't have friends.

He often locked you inside the house, cursed your skills and appearance, neglected your overall health, intimidated you, screamed at you, broke your things that he did and didn't pay for. He hurt you physically, even sexually. You knew both dating him and leaving him was hard, you just expected living with the scars was going to be easier.

And it was! You decided to run away from him and to Gotham when you received the news that your mom died and he didn't even want to let you go to the funeral. The grieving made you reflexive and you realized how shitty your situation was. For years you just thought that it would eventually get better, that you just needed to be strong, that he showed he loved you when he wasn't being an asshole, that you couldn't get anything better, that he made you feel special.

You couldn't even go to the police, he was a cop, you knew the chances that in any scenario you would lose. So you ran.

You knew it was dangerous, but you had nothing to lose. If he didn't kill you, you would do it yourself. You made a plan, drugged him, took some of his money, used his house keys, left everything behind for the second time in your life. You didn't waste time asking for help from the people you knew. You took the bus and went as far away as you could.

Your paranoia was so bad that for almost a year, you would settle in a city, work to save up enough, and leave again, rinse and repeat. Eventually, Gotham seemed big and far enough to go by unnoticed.

Or that's what you thought, until Dick Grayson stopped by the diner you worked to have breakfast before going to work, as a cop, and decided you caught his attention.

Since then, he came back everyday. Either breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just to hang out with some family member, usually one of his brothers, his dad appeared with him sometimes too. Your boss loved the attention Bruce and Tim attracted, the two most media active ones, since they both led Wayne Enterprises.

Eventually, even them started appearing multiple times a week. You thought you were healing, until you found yourself crying for almost four hours at home in a panic attack.

You didn't want their attention. Not only was it weird, but they were just so… Superior to you.

They were all taller, more muscular, faster, smarter, richer. It was like reliving the beginning of your relationship at 17, plus 10 times worse. Five because they were five people mirroring your ex, and more five just because of your trauma, experience, negativity and lack of naiveness.

Also, why were they ALL into you??? And they were aware of it! It was weird! Why??

Bruce Wayne was disarmingly charming in his dilf way. Dick was surprisingly accessible. Jason was soft spoken despite his resting bitch face and leather jacket. Tim was cute in a nerdy way. Damian almost made you laugh with his sarcastic humor.

Either way, you never wanted to feel as little as you felt before, so you just did your job, acted polite, but ultimately kept your distance.

Freedom has its difficulties, one of them being that you need money, and for money, you need a job, which means sometimes you have to stay until closing time, at 11 PM, in Gotham.

You're not the only employee to stay so late, but you and your co-worker live in opposite directions, so walking alone it is. They're taking the bus, but you only live two blocks away, so you gulp down your anxiety and keep walking. One hand on your pocket, holding your taser firmly, and keeping your head up, turning to look at every sound.

It's cold, and the street is empty and dimly lit. Some places are so dark that you wonder why you're even paying taxes if the streetlamps won't work.

Two men turn the corner a few meters in front of you, one at least a foot taller, the other, two inches max. They're wearing hoodies and their hands are on their pockets, the light behind them creates a shadow that doesn't allow you to see their faces, nor where they're looking at, but they are coming in your direction.

There's a car, parked between you both. Some people might think at this point it's just paranoia, but you’ve heard stories of people walking next to cars, getting pulled inside by someone who was hiding in there, and getting kidnapped.

Your first instinct is flight, so you turn around, ready to run, even if you look weird in case those guys weren't planning to do anything with you, just to see other two guys emerging from the other corner, those two almost as tall as that first guy. Aside from the smaller one, they're all broad, even with their thick clothes covering them.

One of them has a cigarette on his mouth, which he throws on the ground when you turn your attention to him. Your fear might have caused you to hallucinate, but you're almost sure he's smirking.

You freeze for a second, your only escape is to run to the side, and pray their long legs don't get to you first. You think you hear one of them start hollering at you.

You only take a step to the side, when a loud crash startles you so hard that you have to look behind, while walking backwards to the street. You take a second to process the sight.

Robin is standing in the middle, just a few steps behind where you were standing a second ago. He's at least half a foot taller than all of them, and a lot broader. He's holding the tall one by his neck with his right hand, repeatedly hitting his head against the car’s window.

You're shell shocked, torn between staying put to watch this disaster, as interesting as a car crash, or running away. Gotham is so big that you never thought you would encounter one of its heroes, you weren't sure if you even wanted to.

When the guy seems to stop moving, Robin throws him against one of the other tall ones, the guy practically flies across 2 meters before hitting him, and when he does, they both fall to the ground. You remember all the times when your ex pushed you to the ground.

Your eyes are wide, horrified, watching the shortest guy take a pocket knife out of his pocket. Your throat locks, even if you want to scream for Robin to turn around, you only manage to stare and stay in place, however, the vigilant turns halfway around just in time to grab the guy by his wrist and his arm, just as he launched to stab him. He uses his body’s impulse to push the guy forward, the knife going to the fourth guy's shoulder, you hadn't even seen him get so close to him.

You look at the man from the car, he's still unconscious, the one who got tackled with him, however, is already standing and walking to the fight.

Everything’s happening too fast, you turn to the side to see the guy with the knife on his back on the ground, groaning and twitching in pain, while Robin is punching the shit out of the other guy, movements faster than you could ever dream of achieving. You remember being on the receiving end of someone's fists before.

With a final elbow to the cheek, the guy stumbles to the ground, you don't know what level of consciousness he’s in, by his posture before, you knew he was already compromised since the first hits he took.

Robin doesn't move, doesn't even turn to look at the guy who just fell, he's just looking forward, and when you notice this, you look at the remaining guy.

He's pointing a gun at him.

You don't think you can watch someone get shot in front of you, and you know if he gets rid of Robin, it's over for you. Logically, you knew these vigilantes somehow never die, still, it's counterintuitive to think he won't.

And he doesn't, in the blink of an eye, Robin's on the air, his right boot kicking the gun away, while still on the air, he wraps his legs around the guy's head, bends backwards, puts his hands on the ground, then launches his whole body to the front, the guy getting thrown over him. He falls to the ground, Robin stands on top of him with perfect balance. You don't even have time to process what just happened, the coolest and scariest thing you saw your whole life, when Robin punches him one last time. Now, he's definitely unconscious.

You’ve felt like a bystander this whole interaction, it felt like ages, but in reality all of this couldn't have taken more than 20 seconds, maybe even less than 15. You don't know what to do now. You're theoretically safe, but Robin’s still too big, too strong, too fast. He knocked out four guys without getting touched a single time. He broke a car's window. He threw around two guys who weighed at least 80kg. He's not even panting. And now he's looking at you.

A whimper gets stuck in your throat. You don't know if you should thank him, stay silent, or yell at him to stay away from you. When he takes a step in your direction, your instincts get the better of you and you turn around, running.

You hear him call your name, although your brain doesn't process it. You see headlights and look towards it. It's a car. You don't trust you’ll get help, but at least you're not alone. You run in it's direction, waving your arms and screaming bloody murder.

The car almost hits you, but you don’t process that until the last minute, but you get tackled to the ground just in time by the hero from before. You scream again, he's too close. Now, he's trying to hold you down. You keep screaming and trying to escape. You look to the side and the car just kept driving away, likely the driver wouldn't stay behind to be another victim to Robin's hands. You know you're not being rational right now, those guys are known for helping people, he just saved you, he's still trying to stop you from getting hurt, but you're scared. You've been scared since you were a teenager.

Your eyes burn, your arms and throat hurt, but adrenaline doesn't let you feel anything. Not even the invasion of a needle on your side.

— Was it really necessary? — Tim deadpans Damian, who growls.

— You would have done the same, Drake.

— No, I wouldn't. You were supposed to use the psychological first aid approach and (Y/N) would've calmed down and trust us more in the future. But of course, you never use your brain. — Damian growls, stepping towards Tim, but he is stopped by Dick’s hand resting on his chest.

— Damian, calm down, Tim’s right. You knew better than to sedate them. You knew of (Y/N)’s trauma and you knew the route we wanted to take. — Damian's brows furrowed and he crossed his arms.

— I knew your feelings toward (Y/N) would make you become impulsive again. — Tim looked at Bruce, who was silent, with hands intertwined and elbows on the table, focused on your vitals on the screen and the sight of you laid on the bed on the medbay. — Will you now consider just letting you, me and Dick keep an eye on them during patrol? — Damian and Jason scoffed.

— Why you aiming at me now? It was the demon who gave that guy brain death! — Jason protested and Tim looked at him.

— Just to be sure you won't freak out like him and kill thrice as many people, on purpose this time. — Jason glared at him.

— B, you better add more security measures around (Y/N), before Timbo tries to clone them or something. — He muttered with snark.

Dick shook his head and sighed, going to stand on Bruce's side, crossing his arms and looking at you through the camera with him.

— What's the plan now, B? They're probably waking up soon. — Bruce hummed, relaxing his stance and resting his back against his chair. The silence lingered for a few seconds, everyone just looking at you, waiting for the oldest’s opinion.

Bruce turned around, looking at them.

— … Damian, Tim's right. You were impulsive today and you killed someone, even if it was an accident. I stopped expecting that from you since you were 12, you're an adult now. You not only broke our trust, but (Y/N)’s already shattered trust. They need to know they're safe with us, and drugging them, instead of puting to use more time and effort to bring the comfort to them, is not going to do that. You weren't much different than the man who hurt them tonight. — His father's words were like a punch to Damian's stomach, leaving him speechless. Dick pursed his lips, not turning around as to make it easier to not comfort his brother just yet. Bruce turned to Tim. — Tim, I understand you want to take measures seriously. But you need to give Jason a chance. That was unasked for. — The mentioned blinked, still unacostummed with the treatment he received from his dad when he followed his rules. Tim looked away. Bruce turned to Damian again. — Damian, no patrolling around (Y/N) until you prove we can trust your temper again. — He waited for a confirmation, which came with a sneered lip.

— Yes, father.

Dick looked back a Bruce.

— What about (Y/N)? — He bit his lips. Bruce hummed, turning to look at the monitor again.

— … What do you all think?

— Well… Damian said their name, they might not remember it, but they can't just wake up at home. They’d try to flee from us. We could bring them home earlier, but our ideal plan was to make them come willingly, in the period of at least two years, in the best case. We could leave them at the hospital, and just keep our plan going. — Dick listed the possible strategies they could take. Bruce hummed.

Tim piped up.

— I already altered their phone's algorithm to send the job application as my assistant at Wayne Enterprises to them. And the Wayne Foundation’s application for the internship at Gotham Uni. — Bruce nodded.

— Damian? What do you understand about that? — It was clearly the beginning of his test.

— The more secure in their independence they feel, the easier it is to heal and open themselves up to new opportunities. — Damian exclaimed with confidence. Bruce nodded.

— Jason, are you still interested in college? — Everyone looked at Jason surprised, he was also surprised, he hadn't talked to Bruce about college since before he died.

It took a few seconds to processes what it would mean.

— Uh… I think so?! — Bruce nodded.

— What about me, father? — Damian spoke inquisitively. — I also want more opportunities to get closer to (Y/N)! — Bruce narrowed his eyes at him.

— We will think about that when you're in the clear.

— But-

— That's final. You reap what you sow. — Damian huffed and nodded begrudgingly. — … Now, since Robin was the one to save them, take the batmobile and leave them in the hospital. Then come straight back home. Understood? — Damian clenched his jaw and nodded silently, leaving to get your unconscious body.

Moments later, when you were both out, on the way to the hospital, Tim fiddled with the computer, the scream showed the batmobile’s tracker, your tracker, Damian's tracker, Damian's contact lenses’s camera and the car’s camera. They all looked at him.

— … It's just to make sure…

Comment, like and reblog 🥰

DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation @vadersassistant @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @hxsun4 @silverklaus @toast-on-dandelioms @bluewillbon @ladyel1x1r3l0p3r

[leclercsluvs]

MV1 | Songs of a Healing Heart | smau

part 1

an: did i disappear for like 2 months? yeah. is this what i meant to post first thing back? no. not really tbh. also time stamps are not important. also the timeline does not exist in this universe, i'm including some things that's happened irl (emails i can't send), but that doesn't mean i won't use earlier songs (on purpose). also it has been some time since i last wrote something, and my first language is not english, so this isn't perfect <3 fc: sabrina carpenter pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader warnings: swearing, a spoiler for chicago fire (a character death, i will also be reminding you, when it comes, so you can skip that one post it's honestly not that important to the story) inspired by: i can do it with a broken heart - taylor swift

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, & 1.936.203 others yourusername guess who’s single again and guess who has an album coming 🥳🎉💃🎊🎈��

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user1 OMG OMG OMG NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC WHO’S THE HEARTBREAKER???

user2 this is gonna be my fav album of ALL TIME ❤️ by author

maxverstappen1 who hurt you?

yourusername shut the fuck up ❤️ maxverstappen1 never 😌 danielricciardo wow max, really shooting your shot nicely hm maxverstappen1 shut the fuck up ❤️

yourusername

liked by georgerusell63, charles_leclerc, & 1.016.358 others yourusername *aggressively writes songs* >:)

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georgerussell63 why do you need to do it aggressively?

yourusername because why not?🤷‍♀️ georgerussell63 because aggression is not the answer 🤨 yourusername says who? >:( georgerussell63 says max yourusername that’s a lie.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, & 1.398.244 others yourusername guess what’s finally here! to everyone asking, i’m doing fine, don't worry.

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charles_leclerc okay so there was definitely more than one asking if she’s fine, who else did?

maxverstappen1 i did danielricciardo i did landonorris i did lewishamilton i did yourusername you all did 😑 oscarpiastri like everyone??? 🤔 yourusername as in everyone on the grid, even a few not on the grid anymore. the next one asking, will be feeling my greatness. logansargeant if that’s a threat, max should be the next one asking maxverstappen1 what the fuck

yourusername (chicago fire spoiler)

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, & 2.542.658 others yourusername this idiot forced me out of the house (i was very busy and comfortable watching chicago fire) and now i’m at the track?????

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maxverstappen1 you’re welcome

yourusername i’m not thanking you. i’m fine maxverstappen1 then why were you crying? yourusername uhm because otis just died and he was a good character georgerussell63 SPOILER WARNING??? OTIS DIES?? yourusername oh whoops yeah he does. very sad. very cryable.

charles_leclerc max is right yn. you need to get out a bit more.

yourusername aww charles defending his boyfriend

user3 yn is hanging out with the drivers???

user 4 well yeah. she and max have been friends for quite some time now. she's been to a few races as well user3 woah how did i not know?? user4 she kept a low profile because her boyfriend (or ex) didn’t really want it to be too public. she did take photos with some fans but asked of them to not take photos of her and her bf. how the paparazzi didn't catch them is a mystery to me.

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername, & 2.990.363 others maxverstappen1 isn’t she cute when she’s being sad in the rain on top of your car so you can’t drive her home?

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yourusername now why would you post this? :(

maxverstappen1 because you got yourself sick. yourusername that’s not a good reason danielricciardo because he loooooooves you maxverstappen1 shut the fuck up daniel yourusername shut the fuck up daniel

user5 max and yn having matching responses to daniel saying max loves yn is super cute imo

alexandrasaintmleux i would never post pics like this of you 💕

yourusername we should leave them and go live happily ever after 🤭 charles_leclerc you do know we can see your comment right? alexandrasaintmleux oh so you can see? 🤨 charles_leclerc I SAID I’M SORRY

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, & 1.207.087 others yourusername oh? had a lovely dinner. thank you anonymous man.

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maxverstappen1 looks cozy 👀

yourusername definitely enjoyed the company 🙃 danielricciardo i feel like there’s secrets here 🤨 yourusername like what?

landonorris looks a little like max

oscarpiastri what if it was me? then i would be hurt by this statement :( landonorris well you and i spent the day together yesterday  so i know it’s not you.

user6 okay but the power duo that is max and yn

user7 if it is max

user8 if he makes her happy i guess that’s great? ❤️ by author

[lgbtlunaverse]

What kind of saber is baxia anyway?

I love my bloodthirsty princess of a cursed blade, and in my heart of hearts i am nothing but a sword nerd, so i've been extremely fascinated by Baxia and how we know frustratingly little about what she actually looks like!

I mean, look at bichen, right?

Bichen in the donghua:

Bichen in the drama:

They're clearly not exactly the same. The scabbards are different, and the guards have a different shape. But these are recognizably different iterations on one theme, right? Thin jian with a white grip silver guard, light blue tassel and silver mounting accents on the scabbard.

Now this is baxia in the donghua:

And baxia in the drama:

????????

THAT'S A COMPLTELY DIFFERENT WEAPON

it doesn't stop there either, the audio drama is kind enough to give us ANOTHER COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BAXIA

pretty! But how is that he same sword??

And when we go back to the novel, we get very little information on her appearance other than the fact that her blade is tinted red with all the blood she's absorbed. Which none of these designs incorporate.

This is not a dig on the designs itself, they're all quite gorgeous in their own right and i'm going to spend a while discussing all of them! Because isn't it fascinating how, since we know little about novel baxia beyond "saber" all of these designs ended up so different? What kinds of sabers are these, anyway?

So, a chinese aber, aka a "dao" (刀) just means a sword that has only one cutting side. As opposed to a jian, which has two.

You can see how that leaves a LOT of room for variaton.

I've actually seen some people get confused because Huaisang's saber in the untsmed is thin and quite straight, making it superficially resemble the jian more than drama!baxia, but it is still clearly a saber!

See? only one cutting blade!

This, to me looks a lot like a tang dynasty hengdao

credit to this blog for providing his image and being a great source for all this going forward.

TANGENT: during all this I found out the english wikipedia page for dao is WRONG! Ths is what they about the tang hengdao!

So that sounds like the hengdao was called that during the sui dynasty, but then, after that, started being called a peidao, right?

WRONG

I LOOKED AT THE SOURCE THEY USED AND IT SAYS THIS:

IT WAS CALLED THE PEIDOU UNTIL THE SUI DYNASTY, AT WHICH POINT IT WAS CALLED A HENGDAO. Which would carry over to the Tang dynasty. This was the source wikipedia linked! and it says something else than they say it does!

Anyone know how to edit a wikipedia article?

ANYWAY

BACK TO BAXIA

Since we're already at the drama, let's look at drama baxia: She's also straight! the general term for straight-backed saber is Zhibeidao, but that's a modern collector's term, and doesn't really say anything about which historical kind of saber baxia could be based on. Another meta i found on the drama nie sabers already went on some detail here.

I'm gonna expand on that a little: The kinds of historical straight-backed sabers we see resemble the hengdao a lot more than they do baxia. They don't go to their point as harsly as she does (she's basically a cleaver!) and they're all way skinnier.

No, my personal theory is that instead of being based on any kind of historical sword, drama!baxia is based on a Nandao.

I mean, come on, look at it!

Baxia!

The Nandao... isn't actually a historical sword. It was invented for Wushu forms. There's a really fascinating article about its conception, but that's why the swords in the images look a little thin and flimsy. Wushu swords are very flexible and light, they're dance props, not weapons to fight with. There are actual steel versions of Nandao, but they're recreations of the prop, not the other way around.

So That's one way in which Baxia differes from the Nandao: she's actually a real weapon. The other is that, as you can see above, the nandao has an S-shaped guard. Baxia doesn't. She's also much more elaborately decorated, of course. Because she's a princess.

Now: audio drama baxia!

This is much easier. with that flare at the tip?

Oh baby that's a niuweidao, all the way!

There are more sabers with that kind of curved handle, but the broad tip is really charcteristic of the niuweidao. The Niuweidao is also incredibly poplar in modern media, often portrayed as a historical sword, but it originated i nthe 19th century! And it was actually never used by the military!

That's right, the Niuweidao was pretty much exclusively a civilian weapon! That makes its use here anachronistic, but so is the nandao, and considering that the origin story of the Nie is that they use Dao intead of Jian because their ancestors were butchers, portraying them with a weapon historically reserved for rebels and common people instead of the imperial military is actually very on theme!

Finally, Donghua/Manhua baxia. These two designs are so similar I'm going to treat them as one and the same for now.

Unlike both previous baxias, The long handle makes it clear this baxia is a two-handed weapon, though Nie Mingjue is absolutely strong enough to wield her with one hand anyway. Normal rules don't count for cultivators.

Now, this is where things get tricky, because there are a lot of words for long two-handed sabers. And a lot of them are interchangable! This youtube video about the zhanmadao, one of the possible sabers this baxia could be based on, goes a little into just how confusing this can get. This kind of blade WAS actually in military use for many centuries, making it the most historically accurate of all the baxias. But because of that it also has several names and all of those names can also refer to different kinds of blades depending on what century we're in.

So here's our options: i'm going to dismiss the wodao and miandao, because these were explicitly based on japanese sword design, and as we can see manhua baxia has that very broad tip, so that won't work

(Example of a wodao. According to my sources Miaodao is really just the modern common term for the wodao, and the changdao, and certain kinds of zhanmadao... do you see how quickly this gets confusing?)

Next option: Zhanmadao.

Zhanmadao stands for "horse chopping saber" so... yeah they were anti-cavalry weapons. meant to be able to cut the legs and/or necks of horses. That definitely sounds like a weapon Nie Mingjue would wield. But if you watched that youtube video i linked above, you'll know the standardized Qing dinasty Zhanmadao looked very different from earlier versions. It was inspired by the japanese odachi, and more resembles the miandao than its ealrier heftier counteprarts.

Earlier Ming dynasty Zhanmadao on the other hand were... basically polearms. the great ming military blog spot, another wonderful source, says these are essentially a kind of podao/pudao (朴刀) which looked like this

Now that blade looks a lot like baxia, but the handle is honestly too long. Donghua!baxia straddles the line between sword an polearm a little, but while zhanmadao have been used to refer to both long-handled swords and polerarms, this was undeniably a polearm, not a sword.

If you want to know what researching this was like, I found a picture of this blade on pinterest-- labeled as a "two-handed scimitar"-- and the comment section was filled with people arguing about whether this was a Pudao, Wudao, Zhanmadao, Dadao, Guandao, or a japanese Nagita.

So... that's how it was going. This has kept me up until 2 AM multiple times.

However! Thanks to this article on the great ming military blog I found out there have historically been pudao blades with shorter handles!

Specifically, Ming dynasty military writer Cheng Ziyi created a modified version of the pudao to work with the Dan Fao Fa Xuan technixues-- aka technqiues for a two-handed saber, which would alter heavily influence Miaodao swordmanship-- thereby, as the article points out, essentially merging the cleaver-polearm type Zhanmadao with the later two-handed japanese-inspired design.

This is the illustration for the Wu Bei Yao Lue (武備要略) a Ming dynasty military manual

This blade shape in the illustration doesn't match Baxia exactly, but since it's a lengthened Pudao-like blade and we've seen above that those can match Donghua Baxia's shape, i'm gonna say that calling Baxia a Zhanmadao with a two-handed grip isn't all that innacurate!

However, because all of these terms are so intertwined, there are a dozen other things you could call her that would be about equally correct.

To show that, here's a lightning round of other potential Baxia candidates:

Dadao (大刀)

Which are generally one-handed and too short. However!

Another youtube video i found of someone training with a Zhanmadao that resembles baxia a little also calls it a "shuangshoudai dao" (雙手带 刀) shuangshou means two-handed, and while 雙手带 seems to refer to a longer handled weapon, when looking for a shuangshou dao or shuangshou dadao (双手大刀) we find a lot more baxia-resembling blades like here and here

I also found that, while the cleaver-like Dadao is strictly a product of the 20th centuy, since dadao just means big sword or big knife, it has been used to refer to loads of different weapons! Some people could've called the zhanmadao and pudao "dadao" during the Ming dynasty as well.

Another potential baxia candidate that mandarin mansion classifies as similar to the later dadao (though longer, as seen in the illustration below) is the "Kuanren Piandao"

Which piqued my interest because this diagram classifying different tpye of Dao:

Claims that a Kuanrenbiandao (diferent spelling, same sword) is the same as a modern day Zhanmadao.

(So once again, all of these terms are interchangable)

Another opton Is the Chuanmeidao/Chuanweidao (船尾刀) below you can see a diagram, based on the Qing dynasty green standard army regulation, of blades all officially classified as types of "pudao"

The top middle is the Kuanren Piandao, and bottom left is the Chuanweidao.

Both of these have a lot of baxia-like qualities.

So there you go! live action baxia is based on a Nandao, audio drama baxia is based on a Niuweidao, and Manhua/donghua baxia is some kind of two-handed Zhanmadao/Pudao/Dadao depending on how you want to look at it.

I'm honestly surprised no one has made the creative decision to portray Baxia as a Jiuhuandao, aka 9 ringed broadsword yet.

I mean look at it! Incredibly imposing. Would make for a great Baxia imo. (@ upcoming mdzs manga and mobile game: take notes!)

[olderthannetfic]

TW Suicide. I talk about suicide from a religious perspective, and religion is not kind with suicide.

I might be reaching but I think religious Asian countries might be more proship-friendly than western countries??

Let's see a few cases. Japan. I'm not sure how religious Japan is, but they have very strict values and traditions. There are so many how-tos and even the language has levels that you can only use to certain people, otherwise it's rude. They can't express queerness so freely that yaoi/yuri is the best outlet they have, and they got called rotten for it.

Japan is notorious for being very proship friendly. There was even a huge "what is proship and why should you block those with 'proship DNI' in their bios" thread over on Twitter and it was so widely shared by Japanese users. At that point, even antis took off the "proship DNI" off their bios (such cowards lol).

The people in my religious (Muslim) country and its neighbor, Malaysia and Indonesia, even the minors, are so proship-oriented that I only ever saw exactly one person with "proship DNI" in their bio. And their posts tell me they're the more "liberal" people of the country. You know, the ones that the older people are using as examples of "Look at that girl. She's been poisoned by the western values, she's showing so much skin. Don't be like her". Now I obviously will just laugh at older people who says such things but hear me out.

The people who are actually practicing religion to the point where nothing sexual is allowed, who WILL screech at sex (both vanilla and kinky) in fanworks should they ever join, won't touch fandom with a ten-foot pole. This leaves us with the absolute freaks who thinks "I'm religious, I believe in God that other people call fiction, but I can't have sex until I'm married and masturbation is haram, so smut fic is actually a great way to let off tension! No one real is having sex so it's a green area. I'm not masturbating, I'm just reading. Sometimes they excite me, most of the time not! Halal mode."

Also, murder and suicide is a sin. A huge sin. If you tell someone to kill themselves and they actually did, the religious guilt would be MASSIVE. I can't imagine an actually correctly-practicing religious sending death threats and not be haunted by the promise of a sin. A sin that involves other people is much harder to forgive (it requires forgiveness from the hurt people, and that's impossible with suicide. They can't forgive you if they're dead) than a sin that involves yourself (masturbation. All you have to do is regret and never do it again. Which is why suicide is seen as unforgiveable. You can't undo it).

So, it sometimes makes me wonder that in the west, MAGA catholic conservatives shares a lot of values with fanpols. But in religious countries, the actually rigid religious ones aren't in fandom, so the fandom is filled with people who aren't evangelical purists.

This incoherent yap might be reaching, but hey, a new perspective to US-Europeans or non-religious people. It's just kinda funny to think about. Since you are very well-spoken and critical (I think so from your replies to the asks!), what do you think?

--

Well... I think there are a lot of specifics here that are hilarious in how you've framed them. (The situation with queer people in Japan has evolved a lot over the last couple of decades. That isn't at all how I'd describe politeness levels in language, and I think your assumptions based on how politeness works in Japanese are ludicrous. Catholicism isn't the big, powerful flavor of Christianity in the US, so it's not where the majority of the nutbars ruining politics come from. Etc. Etc.)

But back in the 90s in US fandom in English, slash was the domain of freaks, and the puritywankers were openly homophobic and did not hang out in the same spaces.

Yes, I do think that part of the rise of the current flavor of antis has to do with somewhat wider acceptance of queerness combined with an overall anxiety-inducing and uncertain situation. They're not secure enough to chill the fuck out, but they wrongly believe that our battles for queer rights here are done and/or that they can be won by throwing the freakier members of the community under the bus.

[writingmia]

percy jackson/heroes of olympus love languages headcanons

In honour of the teaser trailer and the show release date, I have relapsed into my Percy Jackson addiction, so here are some of my headcanons for the characters and their love languages.

Authors Note: This are my personal headcanons for my interpretation of the characters, but I'd love to have a discussion if you disagree with me. I have tried my best to avoid putting physical touch as the main love language of any character, not because I find it less valid than others, but because I see a fair amount of mistyping with physical touch, since majority of people in love tends to want to have physical contact with their partner. Finally, these are non-specific, so you can apply them either for ships or as imagines with you and the characters.

English isn't my first language, so please beware.

Warnings: none

Percy Jackson: quality time/words of affirmation Percy's love languages were influenced by Sally Jackson herself, and the way she raised Percy. He didn't get to spend a lot of time with his mother, the one person he cared about the most, for in the first years of his life, so it became natural for him to treasure every second he had with her. This continued on when he found out he was a half-blood, especially with the dangers that come with the job and the constant knowledge that he or the people he cared about might not make it to tomorrow. Spending time with the people he cares about, no matter what they're doing, is one of the main ways he shows his love. Furthermore, he is very vocal with his affection towards his loved ones. He isn't scared to verbalize his appreciation for them, to praise them for their achievements or to verbally reassure them, much like Sally did for him growing up

Leo Valdez: acts of service/gifts When Leo cares about someone, he takes care of them almost subconsciously. He doesn't really think about the fact that he constantly does small things for the people he cares about - it comes naturally. He knows their favourite snacks so he can always have them at hand, he fixes their weapons or devices or whatever needs fixing without them needing to ask. On an equal level with that, he is also constantly making little gifts for his loved ones to make their life easier. A new weapon with the perfect balance for them? He made it immediately after hearing their weapon was causing them issues. He finds out what their favourite flower is? He's giving them a small bouquet of them, made from scrap metal he found lying around and just fiddled with without even thinking about it. He just wants to make the life of the people around him easier and he'll go to great lengths to do that

Annabeth Chase: quality time/acts of service Annabeth is a busy woman. She's always in a rush, always has a project to work on, a duty to fulfill, a place to be and people to please. So the way her loved ones know how much she cares about them is because she manages to find time to spend with them. They might not even be doing anything important, just sitting by the lake or in their cabin, not even speaking to one another, with Annabeth consumed by another project or a book, but she has found the time to go and be with that person. Even more, if she stops something she undoubtedly has to do, just to help out a person she cares about with a task or something else that gives them trouble, that is someone she is ready to die for. If you're anyone else and you try to bother Annabeth Chase, you can bet you'll end with a knife in the throat or, somehow worse, with the worst death glare you have ever experienced

Hazel Levesque: physical touch I find Hazel with a love language physical touch a fascinating concept because of the way she was raised. When she was a child, things were a lot more conservative, so casual touching isn't something that was implemented often. Still to this day, Hazel would sometimes get flustered or uncomfortable by PDA, so the fact that she shows affection to people by finding small reasons to touch them is something so special to me. Whether it would be a pat on the back after a job well done, casually grabbing a person's arm while telling a story to keep them engaged or sitting thigh to thigh when it's not strictly necessary, Hazel would find these little excuses to hold contact with her loved ones for just a bit longer, and while in the beginning she was very unsure of that, with time she had grown more confident and comfortable in showing affection

Those are my headcanons for now. Please feel free to share yours in the comments, I would love a discussion! If you want me to post more headcanons I have for the characters, or if you want me to do the love languages they live to receive, please let me know!

All from me for tonight, - mia

[king-of-colors]

happy birthday jeremy jordan!!

because it's his birthday, i drew jay gatsby climbing back over the fence after only tea. because i thought it was funny and it turned out better than i expected. colored version and uncolored.

also this. rip the quality (i traced the set pieces on the side and his silhouette guys, no i'm not that good at drawing)

now i'm going to yap about jeremy for far too many paragraphs, feel free to scroll past lmao

some of this may be inaccurate or out of order (or incoherent) because, honestly, i don't remember all the details of my jeremy journey (instinctively went to type 'jordan'-)

okay, so, although i've only known who he is for about seven months, i guarantee that watching hazbin hotel is one of the best decisions i could've ever made. because then i learned about jeremy, fell in love with his voice, then watched newsies. and so my love for musical theater was born and now i'm a complete and utter theater nerd (as many people who know me can tell you lmao).

because i have far too much free time, i will now construct a vague timeline of when i watched/discovered things jeremy's in. like i said, far too much free time.

i watched hazbin on april 1st and 2nd, binged it pretty fast lmao. completely didn't know beforehand that it was a musical, so that was a nice surprise. and, yeah, this lucifer guy, love him to death (haha). then this video popped up on my youtube home page, and i really like hazbin, so sure why not.

fast forward a bit, i looked at jeremy's imdb or wiki page and wait- huh? he's in tangled the series?? (which is actually a really funny coincidence, because a few years back, early on during the pandemic, i watched the first episode of tts. which is indeed the one with varian. so i'd actually heard him before). so i figured, why not watch that, i know jeremy jordan has a great voice.

sometime around here, i start watching yt vids of jeremy's performances. she used to be mine, it's all coming back to me now, all those. also gave the english concept album of death note a listen, since i'd seen it on jeremy's wiki page.

it's the end of april now, and i'm going somewhere with no wifi for a little over a week, so i download tts. (funny story, i accidentally didn't download the last two episodes, so i started s2, and was just confused. like huh?? i didn't see that happen.. my dumbass didn't realize that i was missing episodes until i was like a bit into s2. tragic)

few days in, i remember that i actually have newsies downloaded somewhere, and hey isn't jeremy jordan in that? (recognized it from aforementioned yt vid on hazbin actors) so i watch it and fuck yeah that was pretty good, loved the set especially.

(here's when i added santa fe to my playlist. before i watched newsies, actually.)

fast forward through may (honestly, may was a blur lmao). i finished tts, was briefly obsessed with wicked, discovered a few more projects jeremy was in (lsoh, b&c), found out he could've been in the greatest showman, watched la la land, finally gave chappell roan a listen. stuff like that.

june (and also july)! and, what's this? the great gatsby? (the first three releases) loved past is catching up to me, didn't realize roaring on was noah ricketts, etc. then the bonnie & clyde proshot (i managed to find a slime on yt, unfortunately it got deleted. i do have it downloaded if anyone wants it)

august. watched the last five years (i didn't know it was told backwards from her perspective and forward from his because i didn't read the summary. do you know how confused i was 💀)

september! one of the best months of my life ngl. saw the great gatsby on the 13th (and hamilton on the 25th). saw the whole cast except for noah ricketts (dan rosales was brilliant though). it was amazing bro, no other notes really. when i first saw him on stage, i nearly died, and then he started singing and i actually did /pos. everyone was so good, i can't even

and, yeah, here we are.

i don't know why i decided to make this post help 😭

if you read all this, thank you? i guess?

have a nice day and, idk, stop scrolling tumblr, take a break

[fruitmilkshake]

I wish we could stay this way

Request by; Anon.

Warnings; none, just domestic fluff and Jake having nostalgia and melancholy.

Notes; this is my first request, so i'm sorry if this isn't the best you will read 😅.

My native lenguage isn't English, so i'm sorry if i make a mistake at writing this, and i'm sorry if this has Spelling mistakes or if the pronunciation is wrong

Jake's point of View;

It's been a long time ever since the RDA abandoned Pandora.... My new home, I can't help but feel that something's still missing... Someone's missing..... I wonder how are Grace and Trudy doing with the great mother.....

The noise of the water splashing as Lo'ak and Neteyam are playing 'fights' in the lake snapped me out of my thoughts, They seem so happy playing with each other, that remains me of me and Tom... I wonder how he's doing too....

"Neteyam, Lo'ak! Don't play so rough!" I Heard Neytiri's voice from inside the Ma'rui, I can see her braiding and brusing Kiri's short and black hair, while she speaks to her, I don't exactly know what's they're speaking about... Maybe something about the next communion with eywa, but this one is not a simple one, this one is for my new child, my youngest daughter; Tuk, I can see her lying in her basket next to Neytiri, she seems so happy and innocent, and i am too....

The feeling that I finally have something to fight for is more than i could ever ask for..... I love them so much... I wish we could stay this way.......

Well... That's all :D, I'm sorry if this is too short and simple, this is all that got to my head in the moment 😅, but i hope you enjoyed reading this..

Bye! <3

Also, here's something to listen to while reading this

[lemurlegs]

Bewitched

Hi everyone!! This is my first fanfic I've ever written so it's probably not gonna be too great, but I had this idea festering in my brain for months and I just need to get it out into the world. Also if some sentences seem a bit strangely worded or there's some grammar mistakes bare with me, English isn't my first language.

That being said I just want to say a few things before we start this journey. So this is more of an OC fic then a y/n fic. I don't want to say much about her character since you guys will learn about it later, but there are a few things to note before starting off.

Her name is Elizabeth but uses a fake name with is Ginger. She was born in 1539, and she died of foxglove poisoning. That's all you need to know for know.

Wordcount: 3.5k

Also a few warnings: swearing, murder, death, torture, stabbing.

Chapter 1.

I Payed Off The Reaper And It Only Costed Me My Soul

As you lie on the cold, unforgiving hardwood floor of your apartment, a chill crawls up your spine, matching the coldness creeping into your veins. Your once-steady heartbeat falters, each thud weaker than the last, as if whispering its farewell. The room spins in a dizzying whirl, blurring the edges of reality, a cruel trick played by the poison coursing through you. Your trembling limbs betray you, shaking uncontrollably, as if bidding farewell to the world above. With each shallow breath, you feel the darkness beckoning, pulling you down into its silent depths, offering solace in the embrace of oblivion.

Your senses reel as consciousness returns, greeted by a sharp stab of pain in your back. Gradually, you rise to your feet, wincing as you gingerly assess the source of the discomfort. Eyes adjusting to the surroundings, you find yourself standing in an open field, the sky ablaze with hues of crimson, casting an otherworldly glow upon the landscape. A single road stretches out before you, disappearing into the horizon.

"So this is what hell looks like, huh?" You mumble to yourself. You always knew you would end up down here one day. Certainly didn't think it would be your "loyal" apprentice who would cause your demise.

You were a powerful witch, powerful enough to avoid the cold hands of death. You made sure to prolong your mortal existence by performing intricate rituals and potent spells. Anything to not face them again.

While your spells certainly made sure you wouldn't die of old age, in fact wouldn't really age at all, you were still vulnerable to other types of deaths. For example, the little witch you've been training that had oh so graciously poisoned you this morning.

With a cautious hand rubbing your tender back, you take your first steps forward, embarking on a journey into the unknown under the watchful gaze of the scarlet sky.

A sense of urgency propelling you forward, you choose to follow the road ahead, leading towards the promise of civilization. As you tread the asphalt path, your senses remain heightened, scanning the horizon for any sign of life while silently praying that your pursuers remain far away from you. They must know you're down here now, you just hope they don't know your exact location.

After a half-hour trek, the sight of a sprawling cityscape emerges, it’s bustling energy pulsating like a beacon of hope in the distance. A sense of relief washes over you as you take in the towering buildings and labyrinthine streets. "Perfect," you whisper to yourself, here you can definitely hide away for a while.

As you walk down the city streets you finally have the time to observe your surroundings. How interesting all the sinners looked, and how similar this city was compared to the ones topside.

Gazing down at your hands, you're struck by the startling transformation that has taken place. No longer the familiar appendages you once knew, they now resemble claws, sharp and menacing, as if longing to sink into flesh with every twitch of your fingers. A sense of surrealism washes over you as you take in the sight of your newly acquired extremities, a stark contrast to the hands you once relied on.

Turning your attention to your behind, you're greeted by the unexpected sight of a fluffy fox tail, swaying rhythmically with each step you take. It’s russet hue stands out against the backdrop of the urban landscape, a hellish addition to your newfound form. You wonder what other strange features you've gained, do you also have fox ears?

In the midst of your bewildered observation, a sudden onslaught of hands ensnares you, their grip firm and unyielding. Panic courses through your body as ropes constrict around your body, binding you in a suffocating embrace. A gasp is stifled by the rough pressure of a hand clamped over your mouth, silencing any attempt at an outcry. Darkness descends as a blindfold is forced over your eyes, robbing you of sight and further disorienting your senses.

With a surge of primal instinct, you thrash and struggle against the unseen captors, desperation fueling your futile attempts at liberation. Yet, despite your efforts, their grasp remains steadfast. You recognized them immediately, your old coven members, who else could it be? They must have used a tracking spell to locate you, that's why they knew where to find you the moment you fell. Those bastards. They shoved you into a vehicle, your body still bound by what you assume are some anti magic ropes, since you can't use your powers. Escaping now would be impossible.

After a few minutes of travel, the car came to a halt, and your old coven members forcibly pulled you out, their grips unyielding. You realized the urgency of escaping this predicament. Given your past with the coven, forgiveness wasn't on their agenda, and what you did to them? Well, they sure as hell would want payback.

You were ushered into a chilling chamber, momentarily released before being bound at the wrists with heavy shackles, suspended from the ceiling. Only then, as the blindfolds were removed, did you behold the revenge etched upon their faces. Ten of your former coven members stood before you, clad in their ritual cloaks—dark brown fabric adorned with bloodstains, their signature hoods concealing their identities. It was evident that you had been brought into a space where sacrifices were made or where their dark magic was practiced.

One of the cloaked figures broke from the group, unveiling herself—a woman with goat-like features, her gaze filled with disgust as she closed in on you. With the chains restricting your movement, you could only retreat slightly, snarling in defiance, baring your pearl-white teeth as a warning. Despite your display, the goat demon merely chuckled, unfazed, and persisted in her advance.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Elizabeth," the witch sneered, "It's good to see you finally join us, High Priestess."

"Oh fuck you!" you spat back at her. Pulling on your shackles as they rattled, digging into your skin.

"I see you're still as charming as ever. We've been eagerly awaiting your arrival, but since you refused to cooperate and die, we had to take matters into our own hands."

"Now that you're here," she continued, "we can finally exact our revenge for our premature demise."

You scoff at that comment.

"You have nothing to avenge Sabrina; you got what you deserved. You know what you did, what he meant to me. He was everything, and you all took him from me."

"Still upset that we rid you of that unclean brat of yours? Honestly, Elizabeth, I fail to see why you're so attached to such a vile creature. I consider what we did to be quite generous. Don't you agree, girls?"

In unison, the other members echoed their approval. Sabrina turned to you with a smug grin, closing in. She seized your jaw, forcing you to meet her gaze.

"Now, it's time you learned your lesson."

The coven members surround you, they form a circle around your strung up body. As the goat lady puts a hand on your shoulder, grabbing onto the shirt you've been wearing, with a swift motion, her claw snags your clothes, ripping them apart, revealing your bare body. You feel a sudden coldness surrounding you, the chilly air makes you shiver. Out of the corner of your eye you notice one of the cloaked figures pull out a knife, and hand the object to the demon in front of you.

Your eyes widen in shock "What the hell are you doing?!!?" You shout at her, as she turns to you with a sinister grin, she brings the knife to your chest

"My, my so distrustful towards your old friend?" She chuckles as she digs the knife into your skin, wincing as Sabrina carves a pattern between your breasts. Looking down you're unable to recognise the sigil. Panic fills your every being as you realize what exactly is happening. They're putting a curse on you.

You start thrashing, trying to lean away from the sharp blade, or at least mess up the sigil work, anything to get out of this situation. Sabrina withdraws the knife, casting you a glare laden with pure animosity. She then addresses the cloaked group, approaching one of the figures clutching a large leather-bound book. She whispered to the demon, you couldn't seem to make out what she said. Though soon you found out what she whispered. The feeling of their dark magic, like thick, heavy chains wrap around you, constricting tighter and tighter with each passing moment. It's as if invisible shadows grasp at your limbs, pulling you into a suffocating stillness, rendering you unable to move.

Desperately trying to make any sort of movement, trying to move away from the approaching blade, but all you could do was endure. You watched as the goat in front of you continued to carve into your skin, tears rolling down your face like rivers. Amidst the pain you hear eerie chanting, and the curse seeps into your body like icy tendrils. It feels as though a heavy weight has settled deep within you, dragging you down into a suffocating abyss. Every breath becomes a struggle as the oppressive magic wraps around your soul, binding you in its dark embrace.

As the chanting begins to die down, Sabrina removes the knife from your chest. As the dark magic leaves your body, your ability to move comes back too, but you feel a burning sharp pain in your abdomen. A loud scream leaves your throat as you look down to your stomach, as Sabrina leaves a big gash making you howl from the pain.

She takes a look at your pained face, clearly enjoying the suffering she's putting you through. You start heaving, trying to calm yourself as best you can, trying to ignore the wound on your stomach.

Sabrina takes a step back, inhaling deeply before letting out a heavy sigh.

“You have no idea how long I've been cooking up this curse for you, it's the perfect retribution for your betrayal against the coven, against me.”

“Wha… what have you done..to m-me?” You managed to stammer, weakened by the wound, blood staining your thighs as it trickled down.

The goat demon hums in amusement.

“I'm glad you asked Lizz. This curse is quite special. It's a fusion of three sigils, forming what i call 'the soul-rotting sigil’. You can probably guess it’s implications, but I'll elaborate anyways.

Sabrina comes up behind you, grabbing your throat while pulling you into her body, your back leaning into her. A gasp leaving you as you try to move from her grip, only for her to tighten her hold.

“The curse will decay your soul like a carcass. It will take a whole year to wither away completely, and when It does… Well, let's just say you're gonna discover what comes after the afterlife.” Her laughter drips with malice as you absorb her words. “Of course we will certainly have fun tormenting you until that day arrives.”

She pulls away from you, letting go of your throat. The goat lady appears in front of you as she continues her speech. “Now I must depart, being the new High Priestess is a very demanding job after all. But fear not, I'll ensure one of the girls keeps you company.”

She turns away with a sinister grin on her face as the coven follows her to what you assume is the exit out of this place. Your eyes follow them, disappearing as they turn the corner.

Turning to the sound behind you, a cloaked figure approaches you, she pulls the hood off her head revealing her cat-like features, she leans in towards you, smiling like Sabrina did moments ago. She looks at your wounded and beat up body. Then she begins circling around you, making awful comments about you, but you don't acknowledge them, as your mind is already thinking about an escape plan.

You quietly assess your surroundings, searching for any potential exits or tools that might aid your getaway. The cat-like demon's words become background noise as you mentally map out your next move. You look up to the shackles, tugging at them slightly. On closer inspection you realize that they're just regular metal chains. Not some anti magic bullshit like those ropes were. As you focus your energy, a warm sensation emanates from your palms, enveloping the chains. With each passing moment, the metal begins to soften, succumbing to the intense heat of your concentrated magic. The links start to warp and bend, like molten wax under a flame.

Your determination fuels the transformation, the once solid chains now resembling twisted strands of metal, weakened and pliable. It takes you a few moments to free yourself, since your body is very weak at the moment, the pain and blood loss certainly not helping your situation either. But with a final burst of energy, the weakened chains give way, breaking apart like brittle twigs. Freed from their restraint, you take a deep breath, relishing in the newfound sense of liberation. Your escape plan is now in motion, empowered by your resourcefulness and resilience.

As your hands free from the shackles you turn to the cat demon who looks at you with a shocked expression. With adrenalin coming to your rescue, you lunge at her and begin tearing her apart with your sharp claws. The demon lets out a guttural scream as you sink into her flesh, blood splattering across the room.

In a flurry of motion, you overpower her, your primal instinct drives you forward. With each swipe of your claws, the demon's resistance weakens, until finally she collapses to the ground.

Breathing heavily, you take a moment to assess the situation. Blood drips from your wound, mingling with the demon's on the cold stone floor.

You lean yourself next to the wall, trying to steady yourself, putting pressure on the wound on your stomach, trying to lessen the blood loss. Slowly limping towards the room you saw Sabrina and the coven pass through, you enter some sort of lounge or dressing room of sorts? You're not entirely sure, the point is they kept their cloaks here. You reach up, pulling one off the coathanger, ripping one of the sleeves off of it, turning it into a makeshift bandage of sorts. It's not great but it's the best you can manage now. Taking another cloak, putting it over your naked vulnerable form, you continue looking for an exit

Despite the pain and weakness gnawing at your body, you press on, determination driving you forward. Carefully navigating the unfamiliar surroundings, you scour the rooms for any sign of an exit. Your eyes scan the walls for hidden passages or concealed doors. Your heart pounds in your chest as you push through the pain.

Finally your perseverance is rewarded by a faint glimmer of light emanating from the corner of a room, you stumble towards it, hoping to get out of this maze of madness. As you draw closer the source of the light becomes clear. A small narrow doorway partially concealed by heavy drapes. Without hesitation you push the fabric aside and step through the threshold.

You are greeted by the red sky once more. Though now it's darker and much more foreboding. You take a deep breath, the smell of sulfur filling your nose. You need to find shelter before they realize you escaped. You might have gotten away, but you weren't out of the frying pan just yet. You slowly limp towards the sidewalk, scanning your surroundings. You remember that the journey to the chamber was quite brief, indicating you can't be too far from where you were ambushed.

You begin walking, trying to find a place to hide away, feeling weaker and weaker by the minutes. As you struggle to keep yourself conscious, you notice a beacon of hope emerging in the distance—a hotel, appearing almost like a heavenly gift amidst the chaos. It's the ideal sanctuary to seek refuge and regroup, provided you can reach it before bleeding out from your injuries.

Summoning every ounce of strength left within you, you press on towards the hotel. Each step feels like a herculean effort as you battle against the encroaching darkness threatening to consume you. Your vision blurs, the world around you swirling in a haze of pain and exhaustion.

But the promise of safety drives you forward, a flicker of determination amidst the despair. With each faltering step, the hotel grows closer, it’s lights a comforting reminder of the safety and respite it offers.

As you draw nearer, your body screams in protest, the agony of your wounds threatening to overwhelm you. But you refuse to succumb, gritting your teeth against the pain, fueled by sheer willpower and the desperate desire to survive.

Finally, you reach the entrance of the hotel, collapsing against the door with a ragged gasp. Relief washes over you as you feel the cool touch of the doorknob beneath your fingertips. With your last ounce of strength, you push open the door and stumble into the lobby, collapsing onto the floor in a heap.

As darkness edges in from the corners of your vision, you cling to consciousness, clinging to the hope that help is near. With a final, trembling breath, you surrender to the darkness, your body giving in to the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

When your awareness returns you're met with two ruby red eyes staring back at you. You jump up as you realize you're laying on the lobby floor of some strange hotel, with some strange demon in front of you. You look at the owner of said ruby eyes, a man who looks like he's dressed for 1930s styled Chinese new year or something, all in red. You notice his deer-like characteristics, he exudes an aura of mischief, and oh god that sinister looking smile of his is downright terrifying.

“Ah you're finally awake dear” the demon greeted you "I thought you were going to meet your end on our freshly cleaned floors. My name is Alastor, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

You blinked up at the tall demon looming over you, unable to say a single word as you continued your staring contest with the strange deer man. You broke your gaze away to look down at your stomach, you were still bleeding heavily, you realized your dire predicament.

“You know it's quite rude to not introduce yourself after i oh so graciously kept you from your second grave” he chuckles.

Struggling to lift yourself slightly, you propped up on your elbows, gazing back at the smiling demon before you.

“ Than…thank y-you… my na-name is ….”

Well shit you can't just tell him your real name. you hesitated, it would be unwise to reveal your true identity. This man seemed dangerous, and your intuition screamed caution. Besides, how were you still alive? If you passed out from blood loss, you were surely done for, and you doubted this peculiar deer-man knew anything about blood transfusions.

Realizing you'd been lost in thought, you heard him clear his throat, snapping you back to reality. Quickly, you give him a fake name.

“...My n-name is Ginger….”

“Ah what a pleasant name for a young lady like yourself. It seems you’ve gotten yourself in quite the pickle, didn't you Ginger?”

All you could manage was a slow nod, hoping against all odds that this demon could somehow help you.

“Well, I can certainly assist you with your… situation, let's say.”

You scoffed inwardly. Situation, he said. I'm literally bleeding out, dude—you thought.

“Pl..please “

“Oh, why of course, after all, I wouldn't be the gracious facility manager if I didn't help poor sinners like yourself.”

“Thank yo-

“Ah ah ah, not so fast, darling,” he interrupted with a sly grin. “You didn't think I would be handing out freebies now, did you? Ohoho, how silly; must be the blood loss making your mind all fuzzy. No, dear, nothing's free here, I'm afraid. So, why don't we make a deal?”

Leaning towards you, the demon extended his hand, surrounded by a swirling green light, a soft glow emanating from his palm, casting a neon color glow. You stared at him, a mixture of shock and exhaustion clouding your expression, feeling your consciousness slipping away. Something tells you that it has to do with the demon in front of you, as if he was keeping you alive and conscious till this point.

“Wha-what would you like to gain from m-me?” you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Why, your soul, of course. I think it's only a fair price after saving your life,” he replied casually.

Your soul?? This guy wants your soul?? Well great, you knew this was too good to be true. You weighed your options, die now or sell your soul to the strange deer man with a color scheme reminiscent of a strawberry.

Perhaps it was the delirium, or maybe it was the sheer desperation of not wanting to die just yet, or perhaps it was because deep down, you knew your time was limited regardless. Against your better judgment, you shook his hand.

“Deal.”

[overlyimmersed]

🎁🎉🎂Happy Birthday Harlequin!🎂🎉🎁

Last year I designed an outfit for him, and I intend to do that this year as well, but since it took me till the 27th to finish Elaine's(her birthdays was the 15th) I'm not super confident that I'll have that finished on time. If I do, you're probably looking at that right now, but if not! Then at least this will be out on time.

Well that didn't work... My sleep schedual betrayed me and I didn't even get this posted on time... I meant to take a nap. I set 3 alarms. Did not work. Slept for 15 hours...

Anyway, this year, along side the outfit design, I'll also be doing an analysis that I've been wanting to do for quite a long while.

A name analysis!

Most of the characters in The Seven Deadly Sins -at least the important ones- have names relating to Arthurian myth, as the story is kind a based in it. But this, oddly enough, doesn't apply to almost any of the Fairies, even Harlequin -AKA "King"- despite him being one of the titular characters.

Meliodas and Ban are the fathers of two of Arthur's knight, Tristian and Lancelot respectively, Merlin is Merlin, iirc there are two different Escanors depending on the story, and Gowther is...apparently Merlin's half-brother according a glance at google... Diane's namesake is a little harder to track down, but she's not directly Arthurian either from what I can gather. As far as I know the only Fairy who does align with Arthurian myth is Elaine, but the Elaine that's Ban's wife is not the only Elaine you'll find in Arthurian stories, it was a common name.

Anyway

Most people know the word "harlequin". Simply put it's a french clown.

-Oh and apparently also a duck XD

BUT

Not everyone who knows that, knows where the word comes from, or what the king of the Fairies would have it for a name.

The origin of the word is actually a lot older than the french clown concept and isn't actually french all the way back. here's what Google has to say;

"late 16th century: from obsolete French, from earlier Herlequin (or Hellequin ), the name of the leader of a legendary troop of demon horsemen; perhaps ultimately related to Old English Herla cyning ‘King Herla’, a mythical figure sometimes identified with Woden."

I actually learned this from a youtube video some years back, by Overly Sarcastic Productions. It's a Halloween episode discussing the concept of the "Wild Hunt". I highly recommend the video and the channel as a whole, they're really great, very funny and you learn a lot. The video is a little under 17 minutes long, though, so if you're only interested in the part relevant this analysis jump to 11:05 in the video.

For anyone who doesn't want to watch that and would rather read me summerize it, in the video it's explained that the Scandinavian version of the Wild Hunt is called "Odin's Hunt" but in Old English it's called "Herlaþing" which means "Herla's Assembly". Herla being a King of the Britons who makes a deal with a dwarf where the two attend each other's weddings. The dwarf is a perfect guest at Herla's wedding and the following year Herla goes to the dwarf kingdom to return the favor. When he leaves the dwarf gives him a hunting dog and warns him not to get off his horse till the dog does. When they get back the dog doesn't get off the horse, Herla asks a random person they pass how his wife is doing only to find out that 3 days in dwarfland = 300 years in humanland. Some of his men are shocked and get off their horses, only to age to dust when they touch the ground, so Herla is stuck riding his horse for eternity.

The concept of an eternal wander was popular and in the 11th century a french monk/chronicler used the phrase "Familia Herlequin" to describe a host of demons pursuing a monk, lead by a masked giant. This masked hunt leader would evolve into the character we now know as a "harlequin", a trickster character is french passion plays.

God, king and trickster presented as a fool, that actually kinda tracks, doesn't it?

And that, is why the king of the Fairies is named Harlequin.

[jadelotusflower]

Stargate Rewatch: 1x01 Children of the Gods

After rewatching the original film I'm kicking off with the show's pilot - I actually watched both the original version and the "final cut" because there are aspects I enjoy of both. The final cut removes a few problematic elements and adds in some new material, but also cuts a few lines I really enjoy and the original version is really where my nostalgia lies, so... as always, my feelings, they are mixed.

Cold open with some redshirts - four men and one woman, sadly representative of the gender ratio the show will have going forward.

The unlucky Smurfette is Sgt Carol Weterings, not that I think she's ever mentioned by name in the episode.

"Probably the only thing it ever did was cost money." Heh.

I will say that Teal'c turning against Apophis at the end of the episode is nicely built - starting here where he examines the gun and identifies it as technology far advanced beyond the humans they’re used to dealing with.

When your name is above the title, you get introduced with an extreme close up.

The differences between the film and the show don't really bother me - I view the show as taking place in a very similar but alternate universe to the film rather than trying to squeeze them together - so O'Neil becomes O'Neill, Sha'uri becomes Sha're, Tyler becomes Charlie, Abydos is the closest planet to Earth, not the other side of the known universe, etc etc. But I consider the events of the film to be canon to the show universe unless directly contradicted.

But otherwise the pilot tries very hard to stick as close as possible to the film, to the point that Major Samuels states that General Hammond replaced General West.

Hammond says it’s been “over a year” since the events of the film, unclear exactly how much over.

The final cut has a longer version of the dead Jaffa, revealing one of them was a woman, and with all the changes to eliminate plot holes I don't know why Brad Wright put one back in. While we do see Jaffa women in the series, Goa'uld and Jaffa society is depicted as highly patriarchal and female Jaffa soliders are rare - we never see them in Apophis's ranks. It's an odd inclusion.

"What if the aliens get it?" "Well, they could be blowing their noses right now." hee!

"THANKS SEND MORE" Remember when Daniel had allergies? Give it a few episodes and the show sure won’t!

Amanda Tapping, doing her absolute best with some terrible dialogue. Brad Wright blames the "reproductive organs" speech on Jonathan Glassner, and it is terrible and thankfully removed from the final cut version, along with some other 90's era sexism from the bros. However there is one great moment, where Kawalsky asks "Have you ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in an F16 at eight plus Gs?" and without missing a beat, Sam deadpans: "Yes." I love Sam.

"I'll give you exactly 24 hours to either return or send a message through - no Kleenex boxes, please." Hee, Hammond isn't quite the cuddly commander we know and love yet, but he has his moments.

It's very cute that Sam has a very similar reaction to the one Daniel had in the film just before going through the gate, although his was based in the wonder of something incredible and unknown, and hers is based in the physical manifestation of knowledge - says a lot about each of them and their similarities yet different perspectives - the marrying of these two points of view is what makes them such a good duo.

Michael Shanks, doing the James Spader impression that won him the role. He was only 26!

And of course Alexis Cruz, the only holdover from the movie (other than Erick Avari, who won't appear until season 2).

The original team sure did leave a bunch of weapons with the Abydonians, didn't they? I presume they taught them how to fire the guns because there's no way Daniel could/would have. He did however teach them very good English.

"Greetings from Earth, Doctor Jackson" - very cute, it's sad that Ferretti disappears into the ether by season 2.

Not the face of a woman who is shy, but a woman who knows how to make An Entrance. She even smirks a little as she walks over.

There is however a weird little moment where Sha're is reluctant to shake Jack's hand and looks to Daniel first - maybe she wasn't impressed about his little joke brushing by her husband? Both of these beats are removed from the final cut version which is probably for the best.

It's criminal Sha're doesn't actually get to speak in this scene, and in fact how few lines she has in the episode altogether.

It's disappointing, because Sha'uri was such an integral part of the film, and yet the show tries to get rid of her as quickly as possible to get Daniel on SG-1 and give him a core drive for the next three seasons. Her abduction is the precipitating event of Daniel's ten-year character arc and defining moment of transition from film!Daniel to show!Daniel, and yet she doesn't get a character arc of her own.

However I do think Shanks and Vaitiare Hirshon sell the relationship in the few scenes they have - they're very physically connected/protective of one another, perhaps concerned that Jack's there to take Daniel back with him (which is in fact the case). And of course Sha're, annoyed at being left behind while Daniel shows the others his discovery, gives him a very proprietary kiss to show everyone what’s what.

I think show!Sha're gets a bad rap, she's spunky and I love her. I just wish there was more of her.

Sam and Daniel insta-bonding. Daniel making an intuitive leap to solve the puzzle and Sam filling in the gaps with science to make it work, they really are kindred spirits.

The issue with the cartouche though is that the symbols look like hierogyphs, not star constellations/Stargate glyphs.

Back in the pyramid, there's a scene sorely missing here - imagine if rather than ogling Sha're, Ferretti had a conversation with her, giving us more of a chance to know Sha're on her own terms rather than just Daniel's wife and the object of others desire. Especially when Ferretti was on the original mission so knows she's more than a "beautiful woman" - it would also give additional weight to him being the one to remember the gate address where she's taken later on.

Teal'c clocks Skaara's gun as the same tech he saw on Earth in breadcrumb no. 2.

"Nothing good can ever come through this gate!" "You came through it , Daniel" I mean...I realise there are a lot of problematic white savior-y aspects to the show, but idk, this scene and the Abydonians all petting Daniel to say goodbye gets me. Sean Amsing as Tobay also returns in Full Circle which is a nice callback to this scene.

The final cut removes a reaction shot from Jack which I have mixed feelings about - I get that the focus probably needs to be on Daniel at that moment, but I do think it's important for Jack to appreciate how Daniel really found a home with the Abydonians and was appreciated and loved by them, and it's nicely played by RDA.

LOL, watch out for how many times Jack pats Daniel on the shoulder. Apparently that annoyed Shanks so RDA kept doing it, but it's also a nice little setup of their relationship going forward.

There's a second shoulder pat in the hallway.

Just two dudes, drinking beer, (not) talking about their feelings.

“She was the complete opposite of everyone else, she practically fell on the floor laughing every time I tried to do some kind of chore they all took for granted.” Underrated line, because it gives important context to Daniel and Sha’re’s relationship, and perhaps more importantly, how Daniel characterises her - she is the one who keeps him grounded, who teases him, there is balance to their relationship. There’s potentially an interesting parallel there to Vala in the later seasons, although it manifests in a very different way.

“I think she forgave me for what happened to our kid, she just couldn’t forget…I’m the opposite, I can never forgive myself, but sometimes I can forget.” This is a great scene.

The Final Cut removes all the “harem scenes” and while I can see why, we do lose a bit of context to Teal'c's involvement in the process as he is the one who chooses the women from the holding cell to go into the harem, and then from the harem to be presented to Apophis.

There was another missed opportunity to actually see Sha're interact with the other prisoners - she could have had a conversation with Weterings at least, find out she was from Earth, perhaps assure her that the others would be coming to rescue them.

To the surprise of no one I’m sure, this episode does not pass the Bechdel test.

But there is a hint of solidarity among the prisoners - first in the holding cell where the others hold Skaara back, and here in the harem Sha're squeezes the hand of another woman.

Weterings is killed by the hand device which keeps the electrical current aesthetic from the movie the show will later abandon - as Teal'c looks perturbed.

Daniel back on Earth immediately getting stuck into the coffee even though no one else is drinking, lol.

"Ra played a god, the sun god, he borrowed the religion and culture of the ancient Egyptians he brought through the gate and used it to enslave them." A bit of a change from the movie here, where it was the other way around - slightly less problematic!

Everyone is in dress blues except Kawalsky who is in camo, and Daniel, who is wearing Jack's clothes.

"Colonel I'd like to remind you that rescuing Dr Jackson's wife is a secondary objective." This line was removed in the final cut and I don't know why? It adds to Samuels’s bastardry.

Has everyone forgotten about Weterings?

Shoulder pat no. 3!

In the second harem scene, Sha're is now sitting isolated from the other women - did she argue with them? Just trying not to be noticed? What happened offscreen?

Also what's going on in the top left corner - it looks like the healing device! Maybe Sha're did throw down with one of the others and that's why she's on her own. I have to read into things, because the show gives us so very little of Sha're and it's a real shame.

She does get a good moment fighting against the guards though - earlier she was defiant and told them she wasn't afraid of them, here she bites one of them on the arm.

I understand from a narrative perspective why Sha're is the one who gets taken over, but it really is Schrodinger’s fridging - until she’s found Sha’re is both alive and dead for the purpose of the narrative, both Daniel’s primary drive and source of inner conflict.

Christopher Judge does so much with so little. Master of the cheek twitch!

Oof, the nudity. In isolation from everything else, it doesn’t bother me - it’s intended to be horrifying, not titillating, and is effective in conveying objectification and dehumanisation by the Goa'uld.

However, it was a studio request, Wright/Glassner regretted doing it, it doesn’t fit the tone of the show going forward, but most importantly Hirshon was pressured into the full frontal when she only agreed to topless, and for that alone it should be excised.

The puppet symbiotes are so much more effective than the cgi they use later. I don’t think there’s another scene in the show that really captures the menace of the Goa’uld like this one - the symbiote (who we'll later learn is Amaunet) slithering around on Sha're's body is just so visceral and horrifying. The glowing eyes before implantation is an effective touch.

Jack sticking Daniel in it with Sam by saying Sha're was a gift could be amusing, except the conversation gets cut off before Daniel can explain. It annoys me, because Daniel not "accepting" Sha're was actually the point? It's kind of important! I assume he does tell Sam the whole story later.

"Unless we want to get ourselves a really bad reputation, I just think we should avoid shooting the first people we meet on a new planet" is a nice follow up to Daniel's sarcastic "well that would have been an excellent reason to shoot everyone" from the film. At this point, Daniel doesn't appear to be carrying a weapon other than a knife. Oh, how that will change!

The Chulak priests speak "a derivation of Arabic" and something else - the Goa'uld language is meant to be similar to Abydonian, which is based on Ancient Egyptian. Of course modern Egyptian is an Arabic dialect that came much later, but perhaps we are to assume Goa'uld - or at least the Chulak vernacular - evolved along similar lines.

Jack unable to shoot Sha're when she stands in front of Apophis is a nice movie callback.

The final cut has a good extra scene between Sam and Daniel where he is quite delusional thinking Sha're might just be drugged, and Sam tries to talk sense into him. Daniel's blind optimism against Sam's pragmatic realism will be an important aspect of their relationshio going forward.

Shoulder pat no. 4!

Teal'c P.I. sees Skaara talking to Jack and starts putting pieces together - the weapons from the opening scene, the weapons on Abydos + Jack's watch, and Daniel helpfully supplying the Earth glyph.

Alexis Cruz is committed to the film pronunciation of Sha’uri, bless him.

“But you are a great warrior, we defeated Ra together!” Skaara’s faith in Jack is so pure.

Skaara gets a shoulder pat too.

"Another fine day on planet Kawalsky" - This line was removed from the final cut! What a tragedy. I get the sense Brad Wright feels a bit cringe about the campier aspects of the show, but it's part of the charm! To be fair Ferretti was more of the wisecracker in the movie rather than Kawalsky, but I love that show Kawalsky is a little goofy.

I'm sorry, what is this silver monstrosity? I guess a sliver of credit that after the nudity not going for a sexy alien outfit, but this is a hate crime. I also have a very high tolerance, and even affection for, silly Stargate headgear, but there's camp and then there's ugly.

Peter Williams as Apophis though: 10/10, no notes.

"They're going to choose...who will be the children of the gods." I do love it when they say the title of the thing in the thing.

The subtle moment where Teal'c motions that Jack should kneel is a nice setup - Skaara being very reluctant and angry about kneeling, and being the last to do so, is nice movie continuity. Skaara really gets shortchanged by the show after this episode.

"How much would I remember if you chose me?" I wonder if Daniel ever thinks that maybe him drawing the attention of the Goa'uld contributed to Skaara getting chosen. You know, just to really lay on the angst and guilt.

So the premise is that these Apophis underlings are choosing hosts for their children who are symbiotes ready for implantation, which doesn't really fit with what we learn about Goa'uld queens/reproduction later. We also learn later that Skaara is taken as a host for Apophis's son Klorel which doesn't sqaure with these two choosing him.

Headcanon time! This is actually Zipacna who we meet later arguing for Klorel at Triad - different actor, of course, but he wears a similarly silly hat. So Amaunet now has access to all of Sha're's memories of Skaara and she and Apophis decide that he will make a good host - maybe she also likes the idea of a family resemblance between herself and Klorel (I think we can assume he is also Amaunet's son?). But Apophis doesn't want anyone to know he's choosing a host for his offspring, so sends Zipacna out to do it for him.

This makes sense of Klorel later claiming that Apophis chose his host, and also gives backstory to Zipacna showing up in Pretense. And in the scene, the Goa'uld make a very quick decision to take Skaara, while the rest get very grossly examined people before choosing.

Shoulder pat no. 5!

"I have nowhere to go." Teal'c turning on his brother Jaffa to save a roomful of people, not expecting to survive himself, really hits.

"For this, you can stay at my place." hee!

Jack not wanting to hear it when Teal'c tells him Skaara is no longer himself is a turnabout of the earlier scene with Daniel. Not so flip now it's your Emotional Support Abydonian, are you Jack?

Kawalsky getting Goa'ulded doesn't seem to hurt as much as Sha're's - because the symbiote isn't mature, or because Amaunet is particularly sadistic?

Soon to be SG-1 posing for their album cover.

It was the late 90's when tvs were tiny, so everyone had to stand uncomfortably close.

And we end with shoulder pat no. 6!

[beloved-brynn]

*pokes you*

Brynryn, hi hello, how are youuu?

Anyway, since you asked me abt who i ship my mutuals with, i wanna ask you something as well! >:D

What (two or more) characteristics do you personally like about yourself and your mutuals? You can either just say it, explain it, or anything really lol

About myself: I have a love-hate relationship with my grit. Mostly because I know I was born talentless in all aspects (no exaggeration), so every creative endeavor I have is 99% hardwork. And no, my parents don't have writing or drawing skills. I don't need to explain how my mom only knows how to draw "v" birds or how my dad isn't great at English. Absolute shame on them. (jk I love my family, I wish I could just pass my lifespan to hem HAHAHA). So when all hardwork fails, I feel like absolute shit. Second thing probably is my faith. I think I wouldn't be here if I didn't have some level of trust with the universe overall. The rest of me is garbage tho lmao. If I'm an otome game character, I'm 100% the beloved and beloathed trash husbando /srs.

About @leftdestiny-posts: I'm not sure I'd ever encounter an internet mutual like them ever again, and I think their appreciation for life and bluntness/straightforwardness is something to be admired. They're traits I don't have. Shiro and I are very very different people, and I'm not sure why there was a miracle that made us meet lol.

About @a-dose-of-phitre and @estellxli: longest friends I have. I really admire their creativity and skill, and if you want me to be honest, I know full well I'm left behind in those departments. If you know me irl, I'm not exactly the most affectionate person so I'd rather keep this part brief haha. Though, a small addition, I admire estella's communication skills and assertiveness a ton and I wish I had a bit more of Phitre's endearing charm and mannerisms (and height-). I'm super stiff lol.

About @navxry: Probably communication skills as well? When we met, they talked continuously. As much as I know I'm an extrovert and thrive off social energy, I think something in me is holding me back to being as vocal as they are. They also seem to have an abundance of energy. Ahh. Youth. /j

About @mixed-kester: i wish i am surviving engineering as much as she has i wanna quit can i quit also how does she pick colors sht is unfair i always have to open up google chrome to— //hjjjj

About @jessamine-rose: she already knows about my fashion sense or lack thereof, so let's talk about something else. I greatly enjoy her writing style because I know it's not something I'd pull off. Her sentence structures doesn't become verbose, they're incredibly succinct— enough to lead you along. Other than that, probably the way she bounces ideas spontaneously. I wish she sleeps right tho HAHAHA /silly

About @vennnnn-diagram: I probably pestered them too much about how normal people work honestly. I lack social skills so learning about stuff from them makes me feel a bit more knowledgeable without any visible judgement from them. So yeah, add that as one out of two. The second one? Their music skills. I hate learning instruments. I don't know why. I tried plenty. I suck plenty. Everyone in my family are great at playing except me. They're the Bruno Mars to my gambling addiction. WAIT WHY DOES SOUND LIKE THE WORST PICKUP LINE KN EXISTENCE HAHAHAHAHA

About @stardust-for-your-soul: i wish i can write fluff i wish i can write romantic things why can't i think of romantic genshin men headcanons why'd it always have to end in murder— oh and also, I love her prose. Chryseis can turn the mundane to something that oozes with beauty, and I think that romanticism is wonderful.

About @lucienbarkbark: i absolutely do not agree with your love for dazai /silly but I do admire estorea's unapologetic nature. Hell yeah bestie fricking read thag 300000+ chaptered story 😭😭😭 /gen. I find it a challenge to sit down and read nowadays huhu. Also, I like how warm she is to talk to, we haven't DMed much but it feels so hospitable (?) whenever she send fic links. Wish I was more like that. Also, thank you for the oda fics, soldier.

About @meimeimeirin: when mei put the kamisato siblings in a kin tier once (unless memory fails me), i remember silently agreeing so much. She has that "I got most my life together" vibe and I do wish I have that. She's also very open to talking about what she loves, she doesn't hide her affections and it's something I very much look up to if you've seen the things I've written so far lol. I love how vocal she is with appreciating what she has, including some new drinks she tasted, her parents' loving relationship, it's just sweet. The teashop aesthetic definitely suites her vibe. She just seems so... Elegant? Can't be me, I need to cause a mess /silly

About y o u: well first off if I get to have your hands for a day, you'd find weird ass drawings of blonde men on your drawing software. Second, I like your vibes a ton. It hits different. It fluctuates from absolutely chill to saying lowkey out of pocket things and I might be getting gaslit to thinking you're not at all the latter /j

[babbletaels]

For some reason I'm kinda obsessed with Wish so here's some theories for you guys.

Magnifico didn't think that Ashas grandfathers wish was dangerous, nor did he not want to grant it due to it not benefitting him. It's a possibility that Magnifico actually just can't grant it.

Every single wish that Magnifico grants in Wish is a wish that has to do with a talent. I know we see a guy with super long hair and Asha sings about going to space and stuff, but I don't think Magnifico can actually grant wishes.

I think Magnifico can give people talents.

This is why he asks Asha about her talent with drawing, and it's why he suggests to her "imagine if someone would wish to be the best apprentice ever" (or whatever, I watched it in my language not english) because he can give her magical powers so she could be his apprentice. He didn't grant someones wish to be the best seamstress, he just gave her the talent to sow. And he gave Simon talents that a knight would have, to grant his wish to be a knight. At the same time he most probably employed both of them in their dream professions.

Since Ashas grandpa didn't wish to be good at something, he didn't wish to be good at playing the guitar but rather he wished he could do something to inspire the next generation, that means magnifico can't grant it. Magnifico can't just poof you wherever you want to be, he can only give you a talent. Think of it like this: what's your dream? Maybe your dream is to be an artist full time, but you're poor and can barely afford to buy paint so you have to work instead. If someone gave you a shitload of money, you would be able to stop working and focus entirely on your dream. That's kinda equal to what magnifico is doing, except everyone in Rosas lives there for free (he doesn't even charge them rent, you guys) so it's more like you have a dream to be idk a great singer but you don't want to go to singing lessons so he can give you a great singing voice. He can give you a talent or enhance your talent. But also he doesn't want you to know this, because then people wouldn't actually wish what they actually desired deep in their heart. A shallow wish isn't as good as your hearts deepest wish obviously.

Kinda lame to only be able to enhance someones already inherent talent though, right? Well you forgot something. Maybe that's why everyone who gives Magnifico their wish forgets what the wish even was. Now they can't pursue the dream on their own, maybe he even took their talent altogether. Now you can't sing or paint anymore. If we say you're an aspiring artist but you can't afford paint, and you get a job but you still can't afford paint or a computer or anything at all, that is actually kinda like society stealing your talent from you. Maybe you even give up on your dream and forget it was ever there, and just hope that one day you will magically feel fulfilled in life. That's kind of like how the people of Rosas feel, they have no ability to actually pursue their dreams other than sitting around and hoping Magnifico will grant their wish one day.

Something that bothered me in the movie is that Asha doesn't actually have a wish, she doesn't seem that into the idea of magic and the only thing we see her doing is obsess over her grandfathers wish being granted. But I have another theory for you!

Ashas wish was for her father to get better, to not be sick anymore. But he died, so her wish was crushed. Ever since then, she has been obsessed with helping others make their dreams come true, that's why she thinks it's unfair that not everyone can get their wish granted, because hers wasn't. That's why she especially wants her grandfathers wish to be granted, because he reminds her of her dad.

So when Asha sings "I want something more for us than this", her great wish that is granted by a star... What she is actually wishing is that everyones wishes could be granted. She wants something more for them than this is a really bad way of phrasing it and extremely vague, and maybe they could've shown why Asha is so disturbed by the wishes not being granted before showing us her wish that is so great that a star comes down from the sky. Her wish is vague because maybe she doesn't really know what she wants either since her true wish was crushed.

See, this movie is starting to make a little bit more sense now, isn't it?

Okay one last theory. This one is a bit more speculative. But on the topic of crushing someones dreams..

Magnificos wish was to get his family back.

Maybe once upon a time, Magnifico saw someone who claimed they had gotten a wish granted by wishing at a star. Magnifico wasn't a magician when he was younger. Then his family died, and Magnifico wished at the stars to get them back, and it didn't work. He was still just a kid, an orphan, and he started learning magic in order to grant his own wish, not realizing that it was impossible to grant such a wish. His dreams/wish was crushed when he realized, but he realized he could grant other peoples wishes, and then realized that something about having another persons wish made him feel.. more whole? Maybe that's why he started hoarding peoples wishes. And he IS keeping them safe from being crushed.. and he IS taking peoples worries away. Imagine your greatest wish, your dream in life, being something that actually can't ever be fulfilled, like maybe your big dream that makes you who you are is that, like Asha, your father was still alive. That would hurt. And Magnifico can make you forget about that being your wish. Magnifico likes having control over the wishes because he didn't have control over his own wish.

So the conflict in this movie is between two people who went through the same thing, but have different opinions on how to fix the situation. Magnifico wants to keep the wishes safe and the people happy in blissful ignorance because he couldn't grant his own wish of getting his family back, while Asha's loss of her father caused her to want everyone to have a chance to get their wishes granted. Wait let me make it clearer. Magnifico thinks it's better if people don't experience grief at all, even if it means they will never achieve their dream. Asha believes grief is worth it just to have a chance at achieving your dreams.

Idk. Anyway that's all I had for you today

No wait.

Let's talk about you being a star... What does that even mean? Well, you wish upon a star and your dreams come true. You're a star means you can make your dreams come true. Only a star can fulfill your wish and you are one. It's entirely a metaphor. Though it is a metaphor with.... very dire consequences for the lore. Like so is everyone born from a wish? Did someone wish to have a child and a star had to come down to earth and be born as a child, and that's how people became stars? I don't know. What if.. A star that stays on earth for too long simply turns into a human? Idk this metaphor should've kinda stayed a metaphor but it didn't so here we are....

Wait if only a star can grant wishes does that mean Magnifico is a star? When you take a wish away from a human does that turn them into fully a human? if you're a star so you can fulfill your own wish, why did a star respond when Asha wished? Is Asha not a star anymore because her wish was destroyed?

Ok now I'm done.

Wait also if everyones deepest wish is a star that's why when people die in disney movies they become stars, that's pretty neat

Ok I'm gonna stop now

[ultramarine-spirit]

WMMAP's paper doll book review

Ever since I got into WMMAP there was something I wanted to get more than anything else in the world. But no matter what, for some reason or another I could never buy it. My own personal Moby Dick, if you will... the extremely rare paper doll book included in volume 3's limited edition.

Today, my search has finally come to an end. Review under the cut.

It doesn't show that well in video or pictures, but Athy's eyes (and her tiara, jewelry and ribbon) are shiny! The holographic effect makes her eyes look truly jeweled. A very nice detail.

The book's cover and back. My god, Athy is so beautiful... A close-up of this illustration is actually used in the manhwa! As well as the Blackie plushie.

After this there are some pages dedicated to the instructions for making the dolls. I can't include them because of Tumblr's picture limit, but they are pretty simple, nothing too interesting.

Sorry the picture quality isn't the best. The book and its pages are very thick, so it's hard to open it and take pictures ; ;

Tiny Athys together! These figures show how the paper dolls are supposed to look once you make them. It's also a great reference for Athy's outfits.

Here is a fun detail. All the outfits have a "name" under them. In order, these are:

Chapter 7. First meeting with Dad

Chapter 9. Boating with Dad.

Chapter 13. Teatime with Dad.

Chapter 15. Lullaby for Dad.

Chapter 17. Lucas and Blackie.

Chapter 18. Blow~ on Dad's cheek. ("호오" doesn't have a direct english translation, but it refers to when Athy slapped Claude and blowed on his boo-boo lmao)

Chapter 21. Walking with Dad.

Chapter 21. Ijekiel and the angel.

Teen Athys together! The outfits' names are:

Chapter 24. Dance class with Madame Pompidou.

Chapter 24. First dance plan with Felix.

Chapter 24. Lucas and the "wrong type of smarts" guy. (I translated the names just to talk about this lmao. The literal meaning is "smartdumb" and it refers to Lucas saying Athy is "only book smart" because she couldn't understand Claude's feelings. Other translations could be "not that smart guy" or "not really smart guy")

Chapter 24. The sound of me striking gold. (This one is also weird. Literal translation could be "the sound of my destiny unfolding"? Tapas translated it as "the sound of my life turning around". I kept Tappy's translation)

Chapters 29. Debutante.

Chapter 35. Boating with Dad.

Chapter 37. In the library.

This is the "paper doll making" part of the book. Every doll comes with her pair of clothes, accessories and such. You are supposed to cut them, and use the little paper flaps and glue to make the dolls.

At the end of the book there are also some backgrounds to pose the dolls with. They are Athy's room, her tea room where she often has snacks with Lucas, the dance room from chapter 25, the outside of the Emerald Palace, and Claude's room.

I was thinking of actually making the dolls... but the book is so pretty that I don't have the heart to cut it OTL. Maybe if I'm ever able to get a second copy, though I doubt it because this book is very hard to come by.

That's all I have for you for the time being!

[inposterumcumgaudio]

Promised I'd do Victoria Byng for @axxloe too so.

I don't have any specific thoughts about her in the way that I did General Byng and Reg Cutty because I feel she's actually pretty well explored in the game and mostly understood by the fandom. Nonetheless, here's a laundry list of Victoria miscellanea.

Though her strikebreaking activities are treated neutrally by the narrative as a necessary action, it does make her a tool. Which, if you're on the ball, you know this because her entire DLC is about realizing she's a fkn tool.

I don't think anyone questions that Verloc is a psychopath who takes delight in drowning people for fun, but again, the people telling us that he's a psychopath are Sally and General Byng. So if we are eyeing that notion suspiciously, it may then be possible that - at least from Verloc's perspective - he actually has a valid reason to hate Victoria as much as he seems to. What is it? There's nothing in the lore that specifically points to anything large enough to merit that. She does call him Tony and we know from other places he not only hates being called by his first name but insists upon his honorific being used... but you can't really tell Victoria Byng how to address you, can you?

Being called Tony would be annoying, but probably not enough to be delighted that the Joy supply saboteur turns out to be her. Moreso I think this points to something that a lot of people miss when being told about who has the power in Wellington Wells. Verloc is said to be a law unto himself on the Holm of Uskglass, but whatever power he holds only extends to that one island. He still has to answer to General Byng and Victoria. And they do put the screws to him about showing progress whether it's viable or not. Maybe to the detriment of Verloc's other interests.

While you can bet Verloc hates being called Tony and I implied in my stories that doing so was a deliberate subordination tactic on Victoria's part, I actually think Victoria only did it because she thought it made her more approachable and that it was the culture of Haworth Labs to be so familiar. She recalls Haworth as "never one for ceremony" and she calls him Harry in her quest notes, suggesting she probably called him that in person too. It would have been awkward to be so formal as to call Verloc by his title when his boss was fine being on a first name basis. Tony is obviously a step further than Anton would have been, but maybe that was supposed to be a nudge. That is, if Verloc had actually called her Vicky back, even spitefully, she wouldn't have minded. She calls herself Vicky in her own thoughts. (Interestingly, when she calls herself that it's spelled "Vicky" in the subtitles, but when she's imagining her mother calling her that, it's spelled "Vickie".)

While her father strives to be on top of the pyramid and to wield his power over his subordinates, Victoria goes to great lengths to make herself seem very Of the People. She lives in the Village rather than the Parade. She isn't exactly hiding from the rest of society the way a lot of the other notable characters in the game seem to be (Nick Lightbearer, Dr. Faraday, Dr. Verloc, Jack Worthing, General Byng to an extent). Indeed, she organizes public activities quite frequently. Victoria's motivation in all things is to appear as much a common Wellie as anyone else, fancy clothes and mansion notwithstanding. That Wellies in her DLC feel comfortable approaching her on the street to make idle conversation (even though she probably looks like hell) is something she's worked to imbue in them. Obviously this is informed greatly by her being visibly Other and her desire to negate that, but it's also part of what she's come to think of as her duty and her power in the town. The people of Wellington Wells do listen to and follow her (as they have since she was quite young) and she uses this - she believes - to their benefit. Indeed, she's more a post-war English ideal in that way than practically all the Actually English people in town. She's had her shoulder to the wheel the entire time.

One of the few personal items General Byng keeps in his safehouse is a drawing Victoria did as a child. He's quick to cut her loose when called out for having been looking out for himself, but it may not be as easy a decision as it seems to Victoria in that moment.

Indira had one too. And we see it right as Victoria realizes that she had to make a choice about how Victoria should feel about her moving forward. Parallels! And perpendiculars!

And lastly...

Christian Louboutin has only just been born the previous year (to say nothing of Wellington Wells' policy of isolation) and yet she's got the red bottom shoes. But if she had a favorite designer and the ability to shop them, it'd be Hermès all the way.

[messedupessy]

Ok so I finished Dawntrail a couple of days ago, and I got so many thoughts about it, things about it I loved, things I didn't vibe with, thoughts of what I both hope and fear will happen next, so prepare for a ramble as this will prolly get long xD MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR DAWNTRAIL DOWN BELOW!!!

Where do I even begin? I got so many throughts about literally everything it's hard to decide where to start, but think I will start with what I loved with this expansion overall and then go from there:

The graphic update is so good, everything looks so nice, the new zones and towns are amazing, all the zone music and music overall this expansion is a fucking banger there is no music I dislike which is amazing, the dungeons and trials, except for the last two for me, was so good, fun mechanics and bosses that is harder but not impossible! Most of the characters were so good and interesting and I loved to get to know them all!

But one issue I had with the expansion as a whole and not just the second half of it, where pretty much all my issues are tbh, is that the voices or rather the voice deliveries this expansion was really weird for the english voices, it felt like the voice direction or the mixing was very off and every character was affected. Like there were several moments Graha or any of the other scions spoke and I got all ??? that's not how you usually sound like what is going on?? And then there is Wuk Lamat, love her voice af, but there were many moments where I felt she just needed to push a bit more especially in emotional moments, her crying is fine but when she needed to get loud and yell it just didn't work, but I feel it's more because of the voice direction and mixing than the actual voice actor. And she isn't the only one though and this has been a issue I feel since the patches for Endwalker, something is really off!

And not to mention that the translation and subtitles are very off, they gotten so very bad since the patches, as my older sister plays in japanese but with english subtitles, and she understands japanese well enough to notice when the characters says more than is subtitled which really sucks. And there was allot of that in the patches, an example when Zero says to thank everyone she says their names in japanese but not in english, and there were moments here in Dawntrail that happened too, don't remember them atm tho since it was a bit since me and my sis talked about it, which sucks, feels like we who play in english are missing out on things all because things just isn't translated properly.

Then there is the msq, I absolutely adored everything until lvl 95 after the first story was done where we crowned Wuk Lamat dawnservant etc, mostly everything between 90-95 was perfect to me, great pacing, great characters, fun bosses and dungeons. The small critiques I got is that we barely spent time at the moblins they didn't even get any voice scenes, and that I wish the like rivalry we were meant to have with Thancred and Urianger thanks to them working for and supporting Koana instead of Wuk Lamat could been stronger. I would had loved a instance of us maybe fighting or just something more there.

And then there is the whole trading part with the Pelopelo, forgot their names the small duck faced ppl, where you are meant to trade things up for more expensive stuff, loved it love the UI they had for it and so on but wish they could gone a bit further with it, like they could have let us fail properly and mess up for example, that if we choose wrong here and there we would been forced to start over at a certain point, just something more there and it would been perfect!

But those are the only things I had issue with when it comes to the first part of the expansion, now to the second where most of my grievances lies and also my fears for what will come next:

First of shiiooni the cowboy place, the story there was truly what you call filler, which I get we can't always have something high stakes thing happening, not always needed either and things was brewing in the background, but I wish there had been more to the story there just it was very bland, something more could have happened there and instead it feels a bit like a waste of a zone even though I like the zone itself very much! Just something more happening in that zone could been really good but no we got like nothing. Connected shitall with the characters there except for our reflection versions of the trolley people they made me so darn happy!

Then the attack at the city happened, wonderfully fucked up but why did they have to kill off Guloo Ja Ja?? Think that's how you spell his name, but Papa simply I love him he was and still is one of my fave characters from this whole expansion, and it feels they went with the way too easy route to just let him get killed for drama, it always happens with fathers who are done and give away their position but i am so tired of it he could just gotten really hurt instead it would done pretty much the same give or take, you don't need to kill off someones dad to give them motivation to kill their own brother for doing so! He had already butchered a bunch of the towns people Wuk lamat did not need more motivation to go for it, and if he just needed to be put out of comission so he wouldn't solve shit too quickly then just hurt him a bit and shit would been fine, it just sucks and while the death scene was good it just frustrates me, let the parents live for once!!

But anyway then there is the dome, 30 years passing etc, loved that whole thing wonderfully messed up but here we meet the sole character that ruined the ending for me personally, Spherne or however her name is spelled. The idea of her and her story is great, but the execution of her character did not work for me at all, and it could been easily fixed if at the end of her instead repeating the same old "sorry for killing your ppl" she could had tried to tell something about herself but maybe failing etc, just said something to give her more character than "I love my people above everything else and I will kill anyone who harms them and I will keep them alive even if it means killing others", that was her whole personality there was nothing else there and it could been fixed so easily by her just admitting to it? If that makes sense? She was just so very bland and could been so much more and I get it she is just the memory of a person long dead but just give me something more, and then there is her design it is so bad if they just pulled back a smidge it would been fine!

After meeting her I feel the rest of the msq ends up so rushed, which like technically makes sense since we in a hurry to stop zorol ja think it was spelled mister first promise boy, but it made it so for me at least, that I didn't get a chance to connect with the new characters properly, didn't get to know the new villain at all, which could been on purpose since wuk lamat and sperne is kind of opposites, but it just didn't work which makes me so frustrated because it could worked so well!

And not to mention, a thing I didn't think of until my big sis mentioned it and how frustrated she was about it, is the whole electric sickness happening there! We have a cure for it we can fix that but there was no mention of it or anything where we could go oh hey we have a cure for this since its the whole thing from the first and tempering we could gotten Aisaie summon Angelo and help the sick boy but no, nothing! This better get mentioned/fixed in the future story patches or I will go insane!

Fuck we could had brought it up to Spherne and made her situtation more complicated but no!

And then there is Otis, I loved that guy but he was instantly taken away and killed we got no time so spend with him except for in the Living Memory later on but that wasn't truly him and it just sucks, wish he had been around longer and things didn't get so fucking rushed here!

Loved the trial for Zorol ja tho it was great, loved how it subtly explained why he was how he was, and while I would had loved having more of it outside the trial before we killed him etc it still worked out and made sense, love his son so much he is so good and I adore that blue baby! But I want to know who his birth mother is, who the fuck is Zorol ja's birth mother?? How was he born even though it is said two headed maamol ja can't have kids? Or is it just so darn rare he just ended up been the first ever? Game please explain gkejngke!!

But then comes Spherne and fucks shit up, which would work if her whole character wasn't as bland as a wet salty cracker! The whole of Living Memory was amazing i cried so much, the zone is amazing the music the progress of it was great, the whole message of everyone dies and life goes on hitting me way too hard.

But then there is the dungeon and Sphernes trial, the fights etc is fine and the visuals great, but thanks to her constant talking in the dungeon and its her we fight it just it's just so meh, she needed something more and now she will be part of Wuk Lamat's story forever and it sucks! Also I am still irritated that she kept calling Wuk lamat by her family nickname like please that was so rude, but I also get why Wuk lamat didn't protest proepr but still! It would been more interesting if like wuk lamat was like no u can't call me that and spherne been apologetic etc, and then later at the end wuk lamat lets her call her by that, just something!

Ok so rant over there but now we get to what my hopes and fears are for the future story, as now we got a fucking mguffin that can open portals to other reflections! Which we luckily know shit about except Kriles people had it but that's all luckily since they didn't know shit about it either, and I hope it stays that way for at least another expansion as it feels we are rushing the whole "find a way to other reflections" bit way too much, it already felt a bit rushed in the endwalker patches, but now we got a mcguffin and I am worried about it!

As while I want to visit other reflections, be able to visit the first with the scions again etc, I don't want to do that just yet! There been too much of reflection stuff in the story, I want a break from that and focus on other parts of the world we haven't been to, like Mercedia, Graha's home land, the Roegadyn homeland etc, I want to wait and let Y'sthola work more on finding a way, as I fear this mcguffin will make things way too easy and solve this whole thing, I want the story to wait, let us do other shit while this storyline can be like in the background a bit, and not the focus! And then it can blow up and be the focus again! I feel we need a break from it and I fear this will be the focus of the patches that is going to come.

After all the best part of the msq for me was when we just enjoyed ourselves in the new world and places we got to explore, where there was no mention except some smaller references and the reflections was not in the focus. I just want a break from it let it brew and stop rushing it!

But I am hopeful that this is something that will take awhile, since we literally have no clue what or where the mcguffin even came from or what it is, so I hope this will mean that it will take awhile, and that we can focus on other things like the electric sickness in solution 9 and their whole messing with souls there! I want clarification on if Alexandria etc is from the reflection from the second umbral calamity or not, as the hints are there as it would make sense, but I do not want to focus on traveling to any reflections for now. I want to explore other things so badly get to do new things and not reflection stuff please.

The only exception to any reflection focus is if something gets fucked up and the WoL gets sent to a reflection alone, with no one there to help us while the scions etc tries to find and contact us, that is the only reflection story I will be ok with getting at the moment as I want things to go wrong more and not feel as easy as it feels currently when it comes to travelling to the reflections!

Ok so think I have gotten out all that I wanted to say, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes but I can't be bothered to fix shit, thanks for coming to my ted talk and feel free to chime in with your own thoughts and so on would love to chat or clear up any misunderstandings, as I know I am not the best at explaining stuff at times xD