#since apparently they feed off the reaction they want from you and try to do everything in their power to provoke it

[snekdood]

what do ppl who want me to feel the cringe they feel about me want me to do, exactly? like, why exactly do you need that? is it just for like. some weird affirmation that you can make yourself feel better than someone by trying to make them feel lesser than? bc quite honestly i dont wanna give you the satisfaction lol. stay thirsty for it though ig.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Okay idk if u wanna do this but May I request a crossover of vita Carnis and Mandela Catalouge headcanons?..

For Adam,Jonah and Mark. Basically they arrive at theyre s/o’s House..and find out they have a pet trimming named Meatloaf or something.s/o treat them like they’re baby like any pet owner would,what are they’re reactions?

Awwwwe yeah my two current analog horror fixations let's goooo

.......

Adam

He shows up at your door right as you were getting food for your pet.

It was especially important that you fed it at this particular time so it would settle down for the night...

But Adam's persistent knocking forces you to stop and answer the door, momentarily leaving it with an empty bowl.

"Adam? What are you doing here so late?"

"Did you get my message? Our client wants us to go to his place now. I got the salt and everything."

"...he's gonna have to wait a minute. I just gotta feed my pet and-"

"C'mon, babe. We can't lose this offer. I'm sure your pet's not gonna starve to dea-"

All of the sudden, both of you hear metal scraping and a loud whining noise that sounded like a dying animal, startling Adam while you just stare blankly at him. "You were saying?"

"..what the hell was that?????"

You decide it's better to just show him, so you go back inside and introduce him to your pet: a small six-legged fat lump of raw red meat with a collar around its neck.

"What the fuck is that?? An alien??"

"No, it's a Trimming. And their name is Meatloaf."

"....that literally explains nothing."

After feeding your Trimming and calming it down, you told Adam a little bit about its role in the Vita Carnis family.

Where you're from, they're common house pets, being even more popular than dogs or cats as they were docile and willing to eat anything.

When you're done explaining, he just stares at Meatloaf for a while, who's now swaddled in a blanket and curled up in your lap.

It looks kinda gross, but he is intrigued.

Apparently, it's trained to sniff out Mimics and scream when it detects one....which has saved your life on multiple occasions, and it did the same when it sensed an Alternate in your house not long after you moved here.

That's cool.

He thinks you should bring it on BPS assignments.

Jonah

On the other hand....

When you mentioned owning an exotic pet, Jonah didn't expect anything like this when he showed up uninvited, letting himself in with a spare key.

"Hey I brought some pizza for--WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, S/O?!!

Babe, please don't scream-"

"Am I tripping or is tHAT A FUCKING FETUS??!!!!" He points wildly to the Trimming sitting in your kitchen sink, covered in soap and looking saddened bc your bf interrupted bath time.

Meanwhile, you're pissed off by his yelling and covered its sensitive ears, glaring at him. "Will you calm down? This is a Trimming..you haven't heard of them?"

"No???? It looks like the goddamn chestburster from Alien! What is it?!!"

He was ready to run out of the house, but you convinced him to stay and you explained what a Trimming is, rinsing off the soap while doing so.

Poor guy's still trying to comprehend why (and how) a thing like this even exists, eyes wide as he watches you dry it off and care for it like you would a puppy or kitten.

It doesn't help that you call it "Meatloaf" and have a cute little bow on its collar/head.

Nothing you say will stop him from getting nauseous, suddenly losing his appetite for the pizza (especially since he got pepperoni and sausage on it).

You reassure him it's not gonna go to waste, instead feeding it to Meatloaf in bite-sized pieces.

Jonah's just in shock as it happily devours them with no hesitation, before it waddles back into your arms for cuddles.

You made it your mission to get him to hold it, trying to show him it's not scary at all.

It's....still a work in progress.

Mark

You knew exactly what he was gonna think of your Trimming.

So you explained what it was exactly, even showing him a photo so he's better prepared to meet it when he comes over.

The last thing you wanted was for him to scream "demon" and throw a bible at your sweet little nondemonic meat pet.

But still...he clams up when you greet him at the door, holding Meatloaf in one arm.

"O-Oh, it's..uh....cute...?" Mark tries his best to be polite, yet his face is as pale as a ghost's.

You're just relieved he didn't panic and cause a huge scene.

However, for a normally social creature...Meatloaf became unusually shy around him, flinching away when he attempted to pet it and whining if you put it down for too long.

It constantly followed you, refusing to be in the same room as him.

This keeps happening whenever he visits, and he's unsure what to do.

So one day he asks if it'll ever warm up to him.

"Oh! How could I forget? Trimmings usually like it when they're sorta "involved" in conversations..if that makes sense." You tell him. "Meatloaf probably thinks you're unfriendly because you talk to only me when you come over."

"....so..how do I fix that? By talking to it myself?"

"Yep!"

"Will it...understand me?"

"Not sure, but it just likes hearing chatter." You then speak to Meatloaf, scratching under its chin to stir it from sleep. "Hey, Loafy. My boyfriend wants to tell you something."

With the Trimming now looking at Mark, he feels...awkward, but he finally stutters something.

"H-Hey, uh...so I'm Mark. But you probably know that. S/o talks about me a lot and...uh....anyways we've been together for a few months. Sorry if I didn't seem that "friendly" to you, but I hope um...you...approve of us..?"

He trails off as it shifts out of your hold and climbs into his lap, curling up and cooing happily.

His eyes are HUGE and he's filled with fear(tm), but eventually makes the brave decision to pat its fleshy head, hearing it...purring?

Then you see his smile.

You're extremely happy about this bonding moment and had to snap a picture of the two.

'Yeah, this one's definitely for the books'

[starryeyedjanai]

Be still, my foolish heart part 4

@steddie-week day 4

familiar: 1114 words

part 1, part 2, part 3

Steve finds out that Eddie's not doing well from Dustin.

He’s been avoiding him - avoiding Eddie, who’s also avoiding him.

He didn't want to think about it, about why Eddie’s avoiding him, so he started avoiding hanging out with everyone when he knows Eddie will be there. If he doesn't see him, he doesn't have to think about the fact that Eddie doesn't want anything to do with him.

But then Dustin shows up.

He shows up at Steve's house, begging him to help. He doesn't know what’s wrong, but something is wrong with Eddie, he says.

He says Eddie won't eat, won't drink any animal blood, and Dustin doesn't know what to do.

Steve's heart is firmly in his throat as he listens to Dustin talk about how Eddie’s wasting away inside his house instead of hunting, instead of feeding.

Dustin apparently brought Eddie a squirrel he caught and he turned him away, said he wasn't hungry, but he’s so pale his skin is nearly translucent.

This is happening because of him.

He’s avoiding drinking because of what happened with Steve. Was he so horrified by Steve's reaction that he can't even stomach blood from animals anymore? Was he so turned off by the thought of Steve liking it that he’s hurting himself this way, depriving himself of the one thing he actually needs to stay alive?

It makes Steve's head spin, thinking about Eddie being so utterly disgusted by him.

But he has to help. He can't sit by and let Eddie continue to not get what he needs to survive and he hates seeing Dustin so sad, not understanding why it’s happening. So he goes to him.

He shows up outside Wayne and Eddie’s house, the new government-bought property that sits on the outskirts of town. He doesn't knock, knows Eddie leaves it unlocked when he’s here during the day, and his van is parked outside.

He barges inside and goes into Eddie’s room, feels his heart thump loud in his chest at the sight of Eddie curled up in his bed, looking pale and weak from the hunger, a sheen of sweat on his face.

He almost wants to ask, wants to know if he’s the reason for all this, if Eddie was so repulsed by Steve that he’s refusing to eat. He knows the answer, so he doesn't ask, doesn't want to hear the words come out of Eddie's mouth.

He walks up to his bed, says, “You need to drink. You can't go on like this or you’ll die. That’s what Owens said. So I can go try and find you a squirrel or something or you can drink from me, but I’m not leaving until you drink something.”

He hopes it’s enough, the threat of Steve sticking around until he eats. It has to be enough.

Eddie looks at him with bruised eyes, looks at his neck, where the marks from his mouth have faded a little. It bruised like hell the day after it happened, the skin shades of red and purple. It looked like a hickey, kind of. Like someone wanted him so much they had to mark him up. Steve looked at it in the mirror for days after and sighed wistfully for things he’ll never have. It’s faded since then, the bruise and the small marks from Eddie’s teeth. He mourned it, the last reminder he had of Eddie's mouth on him.

Eddie reaches a hand out like he’s reaching for Steve. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s enough for Steve.

He comes closer, kneels by the bed, and says, “You look awful. Please let me do this for you. Dustin’s going insane. I need you to eat.”

“I’ll eat,” Eddie croaks out, licking his dry, cracked lips.

Steve reaches out for him, helps him onto his side and crawls onto the bed beside him. He’s nervous, doesn’t want the same reaction that happened last time to happen this time, doesn’t want to further make Eddie uncomfortable.

He just wants to help. So he tries to keep a lid on the loud beating of his heart as he gets as close as he can to Eddie.

He holds his wrist out in front of Eddie’s mouth because he doesn’t know if offering his neck in this position will work. And maybe being bit there was the problem. Maybe if it’s like this, Steve can control his reaction more.

Eddie opens his mouth and Steve’s blood sings in his body, remembering the way it got pulled through his veins last time by Eddie’s mouth.

He wants this. He doesn't know how not to.

He wants to help him so much, but he can’t deny that he wants this for other reasons too. To be close to Eddie, to feel that same pleasure as last time. But he’ll be better this time, he won’t make Eddie uncomfortable.

He lowers his wrist and tries to conceal his gasp as Eddie’s fangs dig into his skin. It wasn’t just that it was his neck last time. He though maybe since he’s more sensitive there, it would be different, but it’s the same now. The same, familiar pleasure coursing through his body as Eddie closes his mouth around the bite marks and takes pulls of Steve’s blood into his mouth, gulps it down.

He hopes Eddie’s hunger and weakness will be distraction enough from how much Steve is enjoying this. Because he is. As much as he wants to fight it, wants to make sure he’s not making Eddie uncomfortable, it feels good. It’s a sharp feeling at first and then the dull pain sets in and Steve likes the feeling of it so much. There has to be something supernatural about this, the way that feeling Eddie feed from him has him feeling. Or maybe it’s something simpler than that, that Steve likes knowing it’s his blood filling Eddie’s mouth, that Steve likes the pain. He likes everything about this.

Except how much Eddie seems to hate it.

He doesn’t look like he hates it now, voraciously sucking the blood into his mouth, but Steve knows it’s just the hunger. It has nothing to do with him. Eddie’s just hungry.

He hopes Eddie doesn't hate him when he’s done eating. He just wants to help, because even if it’s maybe not what Eddie wants - if he’s not what Eddie wants - it’s what he needs right now.

He refused what Dustin brought him and he reached out for Steve - that has to be enough, enough of an excuse or a reason that Eddie will listen to and not be upset about when he’s not actively dying of hunger.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E09 - Grave Matters - PART A

Tumblr, I need a bigger image limit for this. Come on, it's Grave Matters!

Have I mentioned how much I love "buried underground" episodes?

I love Charlie trying to butter up people so that he can get a ride home. Also, shame on you all. Charlie is chauffeuring you everywhere. I've seen it.

He literally said, "I could make it worth your while" to Jesse. Charlesse shippers rise!

Dude offered them ribs and cocktails and still couldn't get a ride home. What the fuck?

Trying to downplay his role in a serial killer's arrest which is supposedly a big case. This Charlie Hudson I know.

I will interpret those barks as Rex sensing that something will go wrong. Or, "That's right, I'm his only friend".

Nice place to get snatched.

Now, I don't often give credit to Charlie for his thinking but in this case he was already feeling the effects of the tranquilizer, he managed to throw away the dart so that the shooter couldn't find it but later forensics would if they managed to find the area he was snatched from, and told Rex to get help, which didn't help much since Rex was also shot with a dart but still counts. That's some quick thinking right there. That was probably the maximum of information he could give the police about his abduction too at that moment.

Not that I don't like the shot, but this is the exact opposite of how he landed.

It was at that moment that he realized he was fucked.

I love men screaming. Take that however you want lol

That's cold, man. Also, he was wearing a suit which is often how they actually bury dead men. Eek.

With a few modifications, mainly at the tone of the episode, this could be a Criminal Minds case. Like, I don't think they realize what they're writing sometimes and how bullshit the "family friendly" tag is. If I had a kid, I wouldn't want them to see any crime show no matter how cute the dog was.

I like that the email is like, "for those who didn't get it in the dimly lit footage of Charlie, yes, he's buried underground in a coffin". Or if you haven't seen another crime show before which for those folks over at UpTV might actually be true.

Please, co-ordinate your reactions. I'm at a limit here!

If worried, then why so beautiful?

I pity whoever had to make gifs off of this but at the same time I'm very proud of them and thank them for their service.

"Ugh, who's yelling, I'm hammered. Wait a minute, this desperate guy is my guy yelling!"

"We do not negotiate with kidnappers". That's bullshit. There's no police in the world that wouldn't pay the ransom for a cop, or else they'd find their city with no cops pretty soon after. Now, if the request was something else, like the release of a prisoner, then there would be a problem.

Ohh, I like the transition from the coffin in the board to Charlie in the actual coffin.

That's what you get for springing for a cheap-ass coffin. He already took apart a piece of it.

If we were a bigger fandom I know people would have a field day making manips from these.

Meanwhile Rex chewed through the rope. Which we didn't see.

"You call this a fence? Look at this hole."

"SJPD policy is that we do not negotiate". SJPD has a cop ransom policy?

"We're just assuming that this is some money-grabbing copycat with no intention to kill". And they'd grab a cop for money?

Their reactions when they get the feed of Charlie in the coffin. Nice.

That's creepy.

Imagine being trapped in a coffin and the first contact you have with your captor is them saying, "I need you to tug your left ear" lmao

He figured out pretty fast that he's in a Christmas tree farm but had no way to convey it. Or he did but apparently no one thought to find a lip reader.

Some snow there. And Rex rocking the "I just freed myself" look with the cut rope.

"He's losing it". You guys are going to lose it before him, I assure you.

No, seriously, how do you not have one lip reader in a precinct full of people?

"I have to do everything around here" mood.

Surely every one of us would take out a 300k loan for a colleague.

"We're supposed to be a unified front". No. This is a bullshit policy.

I think Sarah has only ever yelled when one of the people she cares for is in danger.

Oh, look at her. She needs a hug.

Thank you.

Sarah: "We need some kind of miracle". Rex: "At your service."

"Rex is a crime scene now". Why is this so funny?

Sarah: "You wanna come inside [the lab]?" Rex: "This is a trick, right?"

"Sorry, but you're going to have to come with me."

Imagine being held in a place where all you could listen to was Christmas music. Imagine the PTSD from that being triggered every time there was a Christmas song. That would pretty much ruin Christmas forever.

Yeah, Charlie trying to tell them about the sprinklers made me cringe my life. It's not his fault. There's just not a serious way to mimic a sprinkler.

Joe: "I think [Rex] is out of sorts without Charlie". Rex: "I am merely resting before my next heroic action."

Rude. Also, wishful thinking. That man is a cockroach.

I love it here.

Hit my image limit. To be continued in PART B.

[nexttrickanvils]

18 Zuke and Mayday!

18. Squishing the other's cheek

---

Zuke has known Mayday for a good few years now and those years have taught him some important things about his band mate and best friend.

“Zuuuuuke.”

For example, to never ever trust what happens when May made that expression with that tone of voice.

“Yeeees?” Zuke cautiously asked as he lowered his magazine

Having successfully gotten his attention, May plopped down on the couch next to Zuke.

“So I was wondering something. Ever since that last encounter with your brother...”

“Okay?”

“What was up with the zonkey recording?”

Immediately Zuke covered his face with the magazine and groaned.

He was willing to let that stupid recording be a dumb inside joke with him and West. But May? Absolutely not!

“Oh come on, Zuke, I just wanna know. You know unlike your brother, I can actually keep a secret! Pleeeeease?”

“Why do you want to know so bad?”

“Cause it's gonna bug me if I never find out!”

At least she's honest… and it's not like it's this deep shameful secret, just something embarrassing from his childhood. Besides, knowing the context doesn’t really make things worse so…

“Alright, the short story is “I was ten and I lost a bet.””

“And the long story?”

Zuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing.

“So when I was like four or five, I was super into zonkeys. I thought they were the coolest animal ever since they were a mix of two different animals.

“Zonkeys.”

“This coming from the grown woman who was upset over the unicorn at the Natura district being a guy in a costume.”

“Hey! At least unicorns have cool horns. Zonkeys are just weird looking donkeys with stripes.”

Zuke couldn't help but laugh at May's reaction to his teasing.

“Yeah well I was a kid living in a little sleepy kampung, it didn't take much to impress me. But I kind of got over it when I was older. Unfortunately no one told one of my aunts who made me a zonkey costume years later.”

“Oh… oh no…”

“Yeah you can tell where this is going.”

“So what was the bet?”

“Honestly I don't even remember what it was. I just remember that the loser had to wear the costume and do a song and dance. And yeah that loser ended up being me.”

Mayday stared at Zuke briefly before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Wow, you must have been preeetty confident to take on whatever bet you did.”

“Nah, I think I just really wanted to embarrass West. Didn't help that he was just hitting his growth spurt at the time so the thought of him trying to fit into the costume was hilarious to me”

At that, May laughed harder. When she finally stopped, she smiled at Zuke and it was at this point that Zuke noticed that May… apparently moved closer when he was telling the story. She was practically sitting in his lap now.

“Is it terrible of me to think how cute you probably looked in that costume?”

“C-cute?”

May proceeded to squish Zuke’s cheeks, “Little Zukie the zonkey.~”

Under normal circumstances, Zuke would have already gently pushed May off and got off the couch but something about their position and May calling him cute just froze him in place.

Thankfully like a scaly little angel saving him from… whatever this moment was, Ellie let out a hungry chirp echoing from downstairs.

“Uh heh, I think it's your turn to feed Ellie this time.” Zuke said

“Yeah, yeah.”

May stood up and turned towards Zuke.

“Hey, after I feed Ellie, let’s get some dinner at the Hideaway. I’ll share one of my dumb childhood stories since you told me yours. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll get ready in a minute.”

With that, May finally made her way to the stairs, shouting to Ellie that “mommy was coming with num nums.” Once Zuke was sure that May was out of eye and ear shot, he grabbed a pillow from the couch and screamed into it.

He could still feel the warmth on his face from where May touched him.

[fraudulent-cheese]

I really wanna hear about the skave one(12.)

OH BOYYYY

I'll get this one out of the way immediately. I hate them as a couple.

Ok hate's a little strong? To me, wanting them to be a couple is missing the goddamn point, on top of being an insanely boring outcome and doing the exact thing the ship subverts in canon. No hate to skave shippers, i just dont like this ship as an actual couple.

HOWEVER. As the train wreck they are in canon? Ignoring Lies, Cries and One Big Prize for a second - they rule. Awesome, nearly no notes. I love that they're doomed from the start of their actual romantic advances, that their flaws prevented them from getting in a relationship, hell i'd argue the superficial nature of their crushes is a good thing here since it reinforces both how this relationship wasn't gonna work out AND it feeds into each character's main flaw: a lack of communication.

Neither Dave nor Sky are great at telling the other what they want, and endlessly run on assumssions based on their own expectations and narratives; Sky thinks Dave would understand the competition comes first but Dave isn't doing that, while Dave is convinced Sky wants him bad for half the season and pines very hard after her for multiple challenges. Hell, this lack of communication/ignoring boundaries on Dave's end is set up perfectly by the first actual conversation they have! Sky opens up about her family's history and why she's training for the olympics... And he hasn't listened to a word she said. And then U-turns the conversation to liking her (according to my own recollection, maybe im missremembering). They both have apparent "quirks" related to how they communicate/react to liking someone else that would inhibit good communication for fucks sakes! They were doomed! And i love that! They're both trainwrecks in romance (especially Dave dear god) and it's so, so satisfying to watch it finally grumble by episode 9.

I love how Dave's cockiness is born out of him following the advice Shawn gave him last episode to an extreme, again showing that he's just going off on the assumption on how a "winner" acts. And then! Sky! Tells! Him! Off! Literally my favorite moment of the episode. If reality TV wouldn't let them reconcile i am glad it let Dave pathetically try to get over/get back at Sky while the girl completely brushes him off and really asserts her boundaries. I also like Dave outright eliminating himself afterwards (i dont get why Sky was in the bottom 2 tho...) because like! He would do that! He's only staying here because he's got a crush on the idea of Sky and now it's been destroyed, ofc dude wants out!

...and then the finale happened. Ughhhh why did they do them like thattttt

Look, im still making the tdpi video, but it's been put on the serious backburner since i am in medical school and have very limited access to my computer. But i have an entire paragraph about how i dont like how skave was handled in the finale, i've yapped about it before on here, how it mischaracterises Sky, how the Boyfriend Back Home reveal sucks ass, how Dave's reaction feels like the writters being desperate for an antagonistic force in the finale when Chris is right here, ect... Im not going there again. TLDR, i really dont like it.

Uh if you want more thoughts about them in canon, i'd recommend reading this post by @/leonave since it's really good. Anyways

NOW FOR WHAT I WANTED FOR MY REWRITE.

Now the thing is that i dont think there's much wrong with the start of the season. This applies to the set-up of Sky and Dave's dynamic; Dave crushing on Sky because she helped him makes sense with the way he seems to view her, and the way their crushes feel so artificial (ESPECIALLY on Sky's end) is actually beneficial to the direction i wanted to go with them - namely, that Sky isn't really crushing on Dave and Dave realises how superficial his crush was. And wasn't as intense as he thought it was. Obviously the conversation is a little awkward - Dave still wouldn't take rejection well, but is also trying to be supportive because he does like talking to Sky and also he basically just came on international television by accident and Dave isn't that terrible of a person - and they wouldn't be on good terms for a bit, but they would resolve the conflict and actually become friends afterwards. Eventually. They're still not great at communication and are also dealing with confusing emotions on reality TV.

uhhh idk what else to add to this post so uh. Here's Sky and Dave friendship propaganda with some yuri added ontop lol

[flurrys-creativity]

8 drops of poison: Torn

Pairing: Ateez (OT8) x GN!Reader; Genre: Vampire AU, Fantasy AU, Angst, Hurt and Comfort; Rating: sfw, pg-15; Warnings: mentions of blood, mentions of isolation, jumping out of a window, sneaking away, mentions of vampire hunters, reader’s dad being protective, blood and drinking, reader being in pain due to hunger, reader’s dad calling vampires bloodsuckers and threatening them to declare war if reader gets hurt; Wordcount: 2.638

Summary: Vampires have been a story of the past - a myth even - to most of humanity, but not to you. Your family were the peace keepers between vampires and humans for centuries now and everything worked just fine - at least you thought - until they invited you to their castle.  

Masterlist

“It’s been a month since Y/N locked the door to the bedroom”, San whined and placed his head on the round table, glancing at the others in hope they’d suggest something to change that fact.

“They must be incredibly hungry by now”, Yeosang murmured and leaned back in his seat. 

Jongho nodded slowly. “I tried bringing them a glass of blood but Y/N refused to open the door.”

“At least they talked to you.”

Yunho scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He still felt some anger towards you, even after Seonghwa consulted with him and tried to explain your reactions. Yunho could understand you to some extent but it didn’t change how you ignored his own pain. “Maybe we should find another queen”, he grumbled, not daring to look at the others.

“Are we even able to do that?” Mingi questioned as he turned his attention to Hongjoong. “Not that I want to do that.”

“Y/N just needs some time”, Seonghwa tried to reason again, trying to smile reassuringly when he noticed the shocked expression of San and Wooyoung.

Hongjoong sighed and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his folded hands. “We just continue like we did all these years. What are a few more days?” 

The same night Wooyoung wasn’t able to stay still and decided to wander around the castle grounds. He stopped in the gardens, looking over the moonlit area. His gaze wandered up towards the window of your room. “You must feel incredibly alone”, he mumbled, feeling his heart ache from the simple thought. 

At that moment your form appeared behind the window. You opened the window and leaned on the sill, looking down into the garden.

Wooyoung feared you noticed him and stepped into the shadow of a tree, unable to look away. He quickly realised you hadn’t seen him as you sat down on the sill and swung your legs over. His eyes widened and a yell got stuck in his throat when you pushed yourself out of the window.

You landed on the ground and rolled a few metres, groaning as you pushed yourself up on your knees again. 

“Y/N!” Wooyoung whisper-yelled and rushed over to you, helping you up to your feed, “Are you alright? Did you get hurt? Why would you jump out of your window? Are you crazy? That’s fucking high!” 

A scowl appeared on your face as you looked up at Wooyoung. Initially you wanted to sneak away without anybody noticing and yet you had the apparently loudest vampire right next to you. “I’m fine”, you grumbled and patted over your clothes as if you dusted them off.

“Are you sure? Why would you do that?” Wooyoung repeated his questions, oblivious to your scowl and somewhat hostile reactions. 

You sighed, exasperated. “I’m going home!” You then whisper-yelled back at him, rubbing one hand over your face in annoyance while Wooyoung stared at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. 

“But you are home?” 

You shook your head slowly and Wooyoung immediately noticed the same hidden pain he had seen within the eyes of the previous queen right before she decided it was her time to die. 

“You can’t die”, he whispered, tears already pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t plan to”, you answered with a raised eyebrow, uncertain why Wooyoung would think of that. “I’m just going back to my family. To my cousins and my dad.”

Understanding dawned on Wooyoung’s face and the ringing of alarm bells within his head started to shrill. “Let me go with you.”

“What?”

Wooyoung knew he should stop you or get Hongjoong or at least tell someone about this, yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave your side. He wanted to show you that you weren’t alone and that you’d never be alone again. Wooyoung and all the others were with you and he needed you to see that. “Let me go with you”, he repeated himself, the determination clear within his voice.

“The human side is nothing like the underworld”, you warned him. You had a feeling you couldn’t change his mind and at least for now you even had no convincing argument to leave him behind. 

“Underworld?” Wooyoung tilted his head in confusion. “Do you mean the hidden realm?” 

You sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Yeah, but you need to call it the underworld unless you want my family - a bunch of trained vampire hunters - to know you’re a vampire.”

“We have an agreement with your family. Unless provoked they are not to hunt vampires.”

“You think a vampire walking right into their home isn’t a provocation?”

Wooyoung wanted to retort something but closed his mouth again as he couldn’t find a good argument. “The underworld it is”, he mumbled with a pout and then motioned you to lead the way. 

Another sigh left your lips. You desperately hoped he wouldn’t blow this up. It took your eyes over a month to return to your original eye colour and even though it meant the burning within your throat returned you had to go back home. 

“Did someone notify my family about my absence?” You asked Wooyoung as you sneaked through the shadows away from the castle and towards the hidden entrance.

“Not that I’m aware of.” 

You winced, hoping your return wouldn’t be too late. Knowing your father, there was the possibility he gathered all known vampire hunters and planned on attacking the underworld. He tended to be quite dramatic when he was worried and you missing for a month definitely was something he would worry about.

The second the two of you stepped through the entrance and back into the human world, you gulped audibly. The thick scent of dozens of humans amplifying the burning sensation within your throat. You quickly shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts before you continued your way to your old home.

Wooyoung followed you, eyeing you warily. It took him years to control his insatiable hunger. Even now the burning in his own throat felt unbearable with all the scents invading his mind. 

You only stopped again in front of the door to your home, staring at it absentmindedly. What should you tell your dad? How should you explain another man being with you?

Before you could find answers to your questions the door swung open and revealed your dad. He cried out in relief and pulled you into a crushing embrace, crying into your shoulder. 

You hesitantly reciprocated his hug, your motions feeling stiff while your hunger tore you apart from the inside. His warm skin, his pulsating heart, his engulfing scent - all of it drove you crazy.

Wooyoung cleared his throat, noticing how you started nosing the neck of your father. Relieved, he watched your father pulling you aside. He still had one arm slung around your shoulders as he scanned Wooyoung.

“Who are you?”

“That’s Wooyoung”, you chimed in and pried yourself out of his hold, stepping in front of Wooyoung as if to protect him. “The reason I got invited to the underworld.”

Your dad raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You’ve got quite the explaining to do. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I was ready to burn all of these bloodsuckers for keeping you hostage!”

You grimaced and glanced over your shoulder to Wooyoung, trying to see his reaction. “Nothing’s changed, huh?”, you joked mirthlessly, “still the extreme tendencies and drama king.” 

“Nothing is too extreme when it comes to my kid being held hostage!”

“Dad, I wasn’t being held hostage”, you said and sighed deeply, after all you were the one to lock the door.

“Come inside”, your dad announced and stepped out of the doorway, “I want to know what happened. I also need to call your uncles and some friends to let them know you’re back.”

You nodded and grabbed Wooyoung’s hands, pulling him inside. You could only guess from his hardened expression what he was thinking. You guided him through your home and into the kitchen, offering him a seat at the kitchen island before you sat down yourself.

Your dad started to make himself coffee, dismissing the fact neither of you wanted anything to drink or eat, and began questioning you about your absence.

You inhaled deeply, thankful all the spices dulled the scents of humans. “A human found the entrance to the underworld”, you stated and started explaining the negotiations you had to release the human again.

Wooyoung watched you, impressed you were able to lie so smoothly about your absence. He listened intently to your story, fascinated with the little details you added to make the story believable. 

“And this is the man?” Your dad turned his attention to Wooyoung, who choked on air from the sudden attention on him, making your dad smirk. “Quite the traumatic experience, ain’t it?”

Wooyoung only nodded, unsure whether he could lie so easily as you. 

“You’re welcome to stay in our guestroom for the meantime.” 

“I’ll show you”, you chimed in and grabbed Wooyoung’s hand again, pulling him from his seat. “See you tomorrow dad!” You quickly hugged him one more time and then led Wooyoung through your home and into the guestroom, closing the door behind you two.

You let go of Wooyoung’s hand and sat down on the edge of the bed, burying your face into your hands.

As soon as Wooyoung heard the quiet sobs, he sat down next to you and rubbed over your back, hoping to comfort you somehow.

“I won’t be able to stay here”, you choked out. The realisation hit you full force now and the dim hope you had before got crushed by the reality. “I nearly bit my own dad. There’s no way I can stay with him.”

Wooyoung silently continued to rub your back, knowing he couldn’t say anything to cheer you up again. After all, there was no chance of you staying here without killing another human sooner or later because your hunger got too strong.

“I’m never going to see him again after tonight, am I?” You looked up at Wooyoung, silently begging him to tell you otherwise. “I’m never going to see any of my family members again, am I?” Tears streamed down your cheeks, blurring your vision. “I’m all alone then.”

Wooyoung quickly pulled you against his chest, holding you tightly. “You’re not alone and you never will be!” He faintly remembered his own pain and sorrow hundreds of years ago when his blood related family had died. If it hadn’t been for Yeosang and San and the others he probably wouldn’t have been able to overcome his sadness. Now he wanted to be the one to help you. 

“I don’t want to leave.” You leaned into Wooyoung’s embrace, seeking the comfort he gave you. “But I know I have to.” Your voice was barely above a whisper though you knew Wooyoung was able to hear you.

Only after your tears dried did you sit up again, rubbing over your face with your hand once more. You turned to Wooyoung, who expectantly looked at you. “This night is all I ask for.”

Wooyoung knew he should insist on leaving immediately, he knew a hungry vampire could become impossible to deal with and he definitely didn’t want to see the horror on your face after you realise what you did during your hunger rage. Yet, seeing your pleading eyes, Wooyoung simply couldn’t deny your request. Instead he raised his wrist and bit into it. “As a precaution”, he murmured upon your shocked expression.

The burning intensified but you were still hesitant about drinking Wooyoung’s blood. “Don’t make the bite be in vain.” You laughed dryly before you carefully wrapped your lips around his bite mark, drinking some of his blood.

As soon as the burning dulled down to the throbbing sensation again you pulled away from Wooyoung, only licking his wrist and your lips clean. “Thank you”, you whispered and hugged him before you stood up and searched for your dad.

You found him on the couch, typing messages on his phone while the tv played some history documentary in the background. You crawled over the couch and sat next to him, seeking the close proximity. You hummed in delight when he threw an arm over your shoulder again. 

“Cuddly tonight, are we? Did something happen you couldn’t tell me with him around?”

You hummed softly, but asked him to postpone this conversation to a later point, simply wanting to be close to him now.

Wooyoung sat on the ground around the corner of the living room, ready to jump to action at any second. He listened silently to your conversation and the little jokes between you two. He felt bad for ripping you away from your family like that, despite Hongjoong having explained this to you. Wooyoung hoped he and none of the others noticed your disappearance, otherwise they would barge into your home - especially when they noticed the faint scent of blood.

You silently listened to your dad’s heartbeat, thinking of a way for you to stay here. You just couldn’t leave your family, couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. If it hadn’t been for Wooyoung though, you wouldn’t be able to sit next to your dad like that. You sighed deeply.

“This feels like a goodbye”, your dad said quietly, squeezing you into his side. “You never get this cuddly otherwise. Even when you were little you always made a big deal out of saying goodbye, no matter the time span of seeing each other again.”

You laughed softly and shook your head. “We never know when we’ll see each other again.” 

“So you are leaving.” He contemplated his next words. “Back to the underworld?”

Another sigh left your lips. “Yeah.”

“I’m sure you have a good reason for that. Just be careful over there. And this time message me every now and then so I know you’re still alive.” He squeezed you once again and placed a kiss on your forehead. 

You wrapped your arms around his torso, blinking rapidly to prevent the tears from spilling over. Your throat felt dry and you sniffled softly. “I promise I will.” 

“Maybe it’s a good thing one of us is in that council of theirs. Makes it easier to communicate our interests”, your dad mused and nodded to himself. “I’m sure you’ll do great over there. But pack some things to keep yourself safe, yeah?”

You chuckled softly and nodded. “Will do.”

An hour before sunrise you stood with a backpack at the door of the living room, telling your dad you’d leave now. Together with Wooyoung. He stood up and walked you to the door, hugging you tightly before he opened it and revealed Hongjoong and San - both looking quite confused -  in front of it.

“I see the delegation to escort you arrived”, he stated and scanned the two men in front of his home. “If I hear you mistreated my child in any way, I won’t hesitate to declare a war against your kind.”

You pursed your lips, before you ushered Wooyoung out of your house and hugged your dad one last time as a goodbye. You had to bring them back to the hidden realm before more vampires would show up at your dad’s doorstep. 

Hongjoong simply bowed towards your father, silently promising to keep you safe, before he offered you his arm to guide you back to the castle. He’d demand an explanation back at home, for now he only had to make sure none of the opposing vampires would attack you on your way back.

Hunger (Ch. 2)  |  War (Ch. 4)

© all rights reserved    

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland @songsoomin @thedeeppoet @scuzmunkie

[melis-writes]

Pls pls a part 2 to that prompt where Michael insulted Victoria. We want to know what happens next!

Also known as the ��useless” prompt since that’s exactly what Michael called her. 😅 This has actually been very highly requested!! Everyone’s interested in Victoria’s reaction after. I also understand some weren’t too happy with how she initially walked off from Michael upset, but keeping it true to her personality, what would Victoria really do afterwards after being shunned like that? Well, she would do this…💅🏻

If it’s anything you feel other than the hurt and bitterness swelling up inside of you, it’s second hand embarrassment for having Al Neri practically overhear and see your reaction outside of Michael’s office.

‘It’s him who should be embarrassed. Even his own bodyguard knows better.’ You roll your eyes to yourself as you make your way down the hall, keeping your footsteps steady rather than running off or making a scene.

In truth, whenever Neri did overhear Michael not wanting you to be involved in the family business, only half of the time he can agree with his own boss.

“Useless,” you mutter to yourself as you can only feel irritation intensifying inside of you.

You are a mafiosi yourself and you were before you met and married Michael. If it’s anyone who has more experience and history in that lifestyle and “business”, it’s you.

It doesn’t make sense to Neri now either for Michael to try and keep you out of business with your own family in it, but he keeps his head low and remains silent knowing none of this is his business to ponder to begin with.

‘Like he cares.’ If it’s one thing you’ve learned throughout the years in your marriage, it’s that your silence or the cold shoulder does little to impact Michael in any way whatsoever, even if you thought you were punishing him.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the right or wrong or what the nature of the disagreement was, it’s becoming more increasingly apparent to you that silence is feeding all of this.

The opposite would be to have an explosive reaction and start reminding yourself of your sister-in-law Deanna nor is it in your nature to allow yourself to be so bothered, but simply not reacting or remaining quiet about it is in its own way admitting defeat on your own battlefield.

Although you keep yourself calm and relaxed on the outside, you refuse to let Michael’s words sit inside of you, give you any meaning or come close to ruining your night.

‘I would be of some USE if I was getting directly involved on my family’s behalf though, wouldn’t I?’ Of course, you can’t help but feel offended since it completely discredits you and who you are.

You make your way over to the study, moving towards your work desk and private bookshelf filled with various notebooks, documents for work, portraits of your family and the children, and novels to read in your spare time but you reach directly for the neatly stacked, old newspapers kept on the highest shelf.

It’s the same stack of newspapers your father has locked in his estate amongst some of his most prized possessions—articles from years back on the headlines mentioning mafia activity involving the Ferrari’s without identities or names known or revealed, but clearly revealing one thing in your hands: how you made your bones.

The newspapers you hold in your hands read out eye catching headlines reporting on your little stunt back at Dartmouth College when you had first started out as lawyer and killed your first family rivals.

As a matter of fact, there’s more than just a few articles in your hands crediting you name dating from years back—years before Michael ever entered the family business.

Your intentions are no longer to be the “better person” and let it go when it’s done nothing but confirm to Michael that you’re passive and accepting—you’d rather remind him directly what he’s talking about.  After all, it’s not personal. It’s strictly business.

Tucking the newspapers underneath your arm, you head back to your bedroom with no weight over your shoulders—insistent on enjoying your night just fine regardless.

Entering your bedroom, you set the newspaper aside on your vanity table as you take a seat—letting out a soft sigh.

You unclasp your diamond earrings off of your ears, setting them down in the jewelry tray before you as you hum quietly to yourself.

All you can picture is yourself snuggled up in bed perhaps watching a film and relaxing before the night retires, refusing to think about anything else.

The last thing on your mind is storming back into Michael’s office to prove a point and waste your time—everything he needs to be reminded of is here in the paper showing whose “useless” and who isn’t.

You run your hairbrush through your hair before fixing it into a messy bun, only having your moment interrupted by hearing a soft knock over your bedroom door.

“Mrs. Corleone? Apologies for the intrusion, it’s me.” Esther, the family nanny, speaks out.

You turn your head to face the ajar door, seeing Esther smiling back at you politely. “Mr. Corleone would like to see you in his office.”

“Thank you for letting me know.” You respond back politely, knowing Michael’s request holds no weight over you.

Esther nods, shutting the door behind her as she moves to exit, but you remain still in your seat and continue your evening routine.

‘He can wait all he wants.’ You know if he wants to see you or your reaction for a second time, he can come to you instead this time.

Ten minutes pass by the time you step out of the bathroom with your teeth brushed and face washed off, feeling completely refreshed as you pour yourself a small glass of chardonnay.

Barely a minute passes by when you pick up on the sounds of familiar footsteps approaching the bedroom, but nothing else is provoking any sort of reaction from you for tonight.

Michael enters the bedroom with his eyes already expectantly lingering over you as he keeps both of his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

You refuse to even glance back over your shoulder and acknowledge his presence, putting the bottle of chardonnay down and grabbing your drink.

“I know you heard from Esther,” is the first thing Michael greets you with.

“I did,” you confirm, setting your drink down on the night table to crawl into bed.

“And yet I awaited you in my office for the past ten minutes.” Disappointment crosses Michael’s eyes.

“Why?” You rest your back against your pillow, picking up your drink. “I thought you didn’t want to get me involved in your work and that I was useless. Why would you want to see me again?”

Michael raises his brows at you.  “With you leaving the way you did—”

“Oh, forget it.” You scoff, brushing him off. “I’m fine, truly, if you can’t already tell. It just caught me by surprise you know, the things you say to go off on a power trip against me.”

“You’re over reacting.” Michael shuts the door behind him, loosening his tie.

“But if someone underestimated Don Corleone, there would be no over reaction?” You stare back at him. “You’re in the wrong, you can deny it all you want.”

“You know what I meant when I said that to you, Victoria.” Michael shrugs off his suit jacket. “I wasn’t using it against you as an insult but as your place in my affairs—”

“Stop.” You hold up your hand, pressing your lips together in a fine line. “These are not your affairs, not as long as they have the Ferrari name in them. You don’t want me involved in it? You don’t want to talk to me about it? Fine, but because it involves me one way or another, best believe I will find a way to get involved in it if I want to. It’s my right to, isn’t it?”

“What are you trying to prove?” Unamused, Michael frowns at you. “You think this is some kind of a game?”

“Go ahead, I pulled them back up in case you forgot just what I’m talking about. See if the word ‘useless’ is still what you’re thinking about once you read them.” You state back, gesturing to the stack of newspapers.

Michael’s eyes dart from you over to the newspaper as he moves over to your vanity table, picking them up.

Michael only takes a quick moment to skim over the headlines before lowering the newspapers and meeting your eyes again.

“Don’t underestimate me, Michael.” You tell him, “you know I’m far beyond that. I deserve your respect and you’ve given me very little of that tonight. You’re right though, this isn’t a game. Every headline you just read, more than one person lost their life and time and time again it wasn’t me.”

“You thought I forgot about all of this?” Michael sets the newspapers down. “I’m well aware of just exactly who you are—”

“Then act like it, for God’s sake.” You raise your voice, scowling at him. “I’m still just as involved in my family business as I was before I married you and well before you began working for your father, don’t forget that.”

[nobodysdaydreams]

LOVELACE IS HERE...

...BUT IS SHE AN EVIL CLONE ROBOT?

Also Blessie is now one of my favorite characters 🌱💕

(or my reaction to WOLF359 Episodes 21-22, mini episode 2, and Episodes 23-24, and mini episode 3).

Gonna keep my intro for this one short and just dive right into it.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that. And for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs

Episode 21: Minkowski Commanding

Okay. Have I done enough to earn a break? No. Have I done a lot and am complete burnt out? Yeah. So let's do this. I have had a LOT of mutual hype around this episode, so I'm ready to be dazzled.

I'm also eating and work while I listen, so sorry if my notes get short (I say knowing full well I'm gonna get distracted and type insane amounts of notes).

MINKOWSKI? I think this is the first episode she'd done the "welcome to Wolf359" thing. Or maybe I'm just unobservant (I also will often accidently skip the welcome phrase because I press the 30sec ahead button to skip commercials).

Enemy? Being watched? Oh... is this about Blessie isn't it 😂

I love this. We still don't know where Blessie came from and what he wants. Why not take him back to Cutter? Since he apparently loves aliens so much, maybe you can feed him to Blessie. In the meantime I supposed Hilbert will do as a mid-flight snack.

"It took a screwdriver" / "how do we know that's all it wants?"

Uh...

Hm. Interesting. Marks in the vents. I wonder if they are Blessie's.

Oh my this is intense. PFFT- "Slimy thief" 😂

Also maybe it's just me, but unless you have a clear shot and the situation calls for it, it seems to be a pretty stupid idea to be firing a gun off in space.

EXACTLY. Come on Minkowski, you're the smart one most of the time. But I suppose we all have our days.

A net?😂😂😂 This is fantastic.

Maybe they can stop Cutter with some home alone style traps.

"I need to make more acid" oh my goodness-

"The acid may have been a mistake. Turns out it developed an immunity to it. And possibly, an affinity." I'm sorry, WHAT. Hilbert. How. How did you do this.

RETRACTABLE SPIKES IT CAN SHOOT?

And yes, plants need light. But Minkowski, please don't. Please please please don't.

THANK YOU DOUG.

"We admire and support you and we want you to catch the plant monster- this is an intervention" 😂

PLEASE. Doug's imitation of Hilbert's voice and knowing they are the same actor...absolute talent. "You sound nothing like him" (winks at the audience).

Yeah I agree Doug. It is strange for you to be the sensible one in the situation. And again, this feels like you're trying to solve the problem you can rather than the problem that's the most immediate issue. Like getting back to Earth as fast as you can and putting a bullet in Cutter's head.

Wow. That was um harsh. Poor Hera. Oh no.

"Just remember that we're here okay." Aw.

Hour three in the black? This is a dangerous game. I don't like that sound. Florescent moss? Territory marker? Don't like where this is going.

Hilbert: "Ah. Specimen 34. Fascinating hybrid" "I don't care how you made it."

DON'T CARE? I DO. HILBERT: WHAT IS IT A HYBRID OF?

Please tell me it's not a hybrid of plants and a person on the ship.

Please tell me you would not be that stupid.

Can it bred? Is it predatory? "Based on history of parent species" WHO ARE THE PARENTS HILBERT.

Both are possible? Don't like that.

And Hilbert. Why would you make this plant, and why would you make the spiders? Why did you want them to grow this big? What is the goal of this?

Well looks like we'll find out.

Oh dear.

The tentacle is dead?

Minkowski. What about the rest of the plant?

OH DEAR.

Final day? Eliminated tentacles, spikes, and leaves? This needs to end.

HARPOON?

You might be closer to going home if you just...went home. Is Cutter gonna blow you out of the sky? There has to be a way to shut off the ship's tracker or fake your own death.

Found it? Lair? Minkowski almost sounds impressed.

Oh. It built itself a little lamp. A nightlight.🥺 Percival B. Eternal just wants to feel the sun. He must be pretty light deprived up in deep space.🥺

DOESN'T MATTER? MINKOWSKI. STOP.

Minkowski please hesitate. Eiffel is stuck in another trap? Ominous ticking sound? Thank goodness, go save Eiffel.

Oh the plant DOES understand. Huh. Seems like they have an understanding.

But. What was the plant made from?

Sedatives in the tea 😂

Reached an understanding? That's true. It DID have opportunities to kill you. But it no longer wants you dead. Which is interesting, because it did before. And that makes me think that it might want Hilbert dead. Because it took over Hilbert's mind and said to Eiffel "you are no better than the oppressor" so perhaps it blames Hilbert for it's creation.

"It wants what we want. To survive. To make it somewhere. To not be in the dark."

That's beautiful and yeah, Blessie can't thrive in space, plants need light.

Spacecraft? Hopefully rescue. But given that it's season 2, I have doubt. One lifeform.

Who is that? ISABEL LOVELACE? SHE'S ALIVE?

(I say as if I didn't see her name pop up 50x before I blocked the tags...still an interesting way for her to return).

Hilbert you lying liar. Tsk-tsk. Looks like she didn't incinerate. But...she couldn't survive in a pod for a year and a half. So...how?

Is this really Isabel Lovelace?

Is she from the past? The future? Is she a clone or science experiment made by Cutter and Hilbert to trick everyone? Is she the real empty man?

Oh and for the record, I've gotten messages from people asking why I keep talking about the empty man. I assumed that that was a real invisible creature that snuck aboard based on what Hera and Hilbert were saying about it in the alone episode (Hera mentions an invisible unseen presence she won't tell them about, and Hilbert hears a knock on his door and asks "why are you here? You weren't here on the other missions?"), but apparently I've been played like a fiddle. Would for sure fail that psych eval, but it's not even an ethical or standardized evaluation in the first place, so I don't feel bad at all about that.

Also, side note, you know what gets me the most about so many fictional (and unfortunately some irl) "men of great science" who do super bad and unethical things all in the name of their great work? Well, besides all the unethical stuff? It's that most of the time, their "genius experiments" aren't even good science. They're just doing random stuff in the hopes that something will work itself out, usually without any attempt at a control group, sometimes they don't even take their own safety into account, other times they don't even know enough about what they're doing to come to any sensible conclusion or account for unintended consequences. "Oh sacrifices must be made for the greater good, oh genius men like me don't need to abide by ethics" okay well can you at least abide by common sense or is that too genius for you? The point is I don't really care how smart you are, pride cancels out intellect, and at this rate Hilbert and Cutter are gonna get themselves and everyone else killed. I don't think Cutter is even a scientist. He calls himself "Mr. Cutter" (not doctor) and talks about money like he's a business man villain trusting Hilbert to do the science, which, bad move buddy. Bad move.

Episode 22: Mutually Assured Destruction

Don't like the sound of the title.

Oh boy. Two commanders lead to conflict. We're gonna need to establish some ground rules.

Blue ship and red ship collided? Oh Minkowski knows the codes.

"What is the point of an empty gun?" To threaten Eiffel.

Wait..."How did you bring me back here?"

They...they didn't Lovelace.

So who did?

Right, play her the messages from herself.

Vessel to return to earth? Yeah, it does seem impossible. Oh...interesting. An astrophysics figures out how to get back to earth. Then said astrophysicist disappears. What a crazy coincidence.

Oh. THAT'S why they don't have an astrophysicist this time. They want to make sure they don't get that close to getting back this time.

"12 hours later she vanished" ...did she open some kind of gateway, or did command vaporize her?

Ah yes, Dr. Selburg. Yeah he does get sloppy. It seems one of his assignments was to not let them return to earth. But there's a grey door that he opens which apparently allows him to come back each time. Interesting.

Incapacitated him? How? And...how did Hilbert survive?

So...Lovelace was in cryo-sleep and went back to the Hephaestus?

Well...I have a theory: Command sent you back and compromised you so that you would take Hilbert's place as their inside man. Or woman. But it sounds like she's a bit more in the dark about what happened than he is.

Rhea.🥺Aw. A moment of silence for the fallen AI.

Oh yeah. Show her Hilbert.

Yes: "What happened to Captain Lovelace?" Get him commander. Get him!

Oh Hilbert. I hope for your sake this isn't a boy who cried wolf situation.

Oh wow the voice acting of Hilbert choking...true talent.

"They said..." hm. Now that's interested.

"They would never" Hilbert man you are drinking the Kool-Aid, command is using you. You are not indispensable.

Lovelace seems pretty eager for violence.

Interesting...Hilbert terrified of something. We didn't see that with anyone or anything else. Clone or robot replica? Good idea Doug.

I also wonder: was Hilbert always afraid of Lovelace? Or is he only afraid of her now that she's back?

"Is everything a joke to you" at this point, I think it has to be. How else do you survive this?

No long on Lovelace's ship? The computer not turned on before this morning? Then...where has it come from? It's highly unlikely that she would survive in space for three years. But Doug has a point. If these are lies, she should have a better one.

Hera...why are you unsure of whether you can help with the ship? It's hard to tell when she's hesitating due to code interference, having hesitation because the plan is bad, and hesitating because she doubts herself.

Oh yeah...this is awkward. It's like if you discovered another family living in your house and you started touching their stuff (because it's yours).

Oh the music! 📻🎶🎶🎶

Yeah...is there a pattern to the music? Why DO they send that?

Um. Yeah. You might want to drop the plant monster bomb slowly...

Interesting. Hera seems to REALLY not like this new ship. But...why? Again, it's hard to tell when she's nervous, leading them astray, or has a legit concern.

She...she wouldn't be able to go with them. 🥺 Oh. Yeah. They do have families, at least Minkowski does. So...I guess they'd need to go home. But then poor Hera would be all alone. But if they make it back, they could send a rescue party back for her! And she could turn herself off until then or use autopilot.

Ah yes. The empty man. Who apparently isn't real, unless the messages were a code for something.

Uh. Minkowski. What are you doing?

"Nobody's getting left behind" but what about Hilbert? I think he can stay in space for a while. He's been on a lot of missions, so he seems to like it here.

Lovelace. Why were you eavesdropping? Oh wow, interesting gun trap! And "I invented being paranoid" is a very unhinged thing to say.

And explosive device? Lovelace what is going on?

Doug. Doug stop them please. Stop them. What. BOMB. YOU'LL ALL DIE. DON'T DO COMMANDS WORK FOR THEM.

BLOW UP THE STATION! BUT WHAT ABOUT HERA! LOVELACE NO! WHAT ABOUT HERA? WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND (well except for Hilbert, he can get blown to bits I don't care)!

Yikes what a thrilling conclusion. And now a mini episode? Seems like a odd time for one. Last time Doug read letters to some third graders, is he just gonna...pause in the middle of this epic standoff to give his thoughts on his favorite movies? I guess we'll find out.

Mini Episode 2: Day One

Interesting this says from "Goddard Futuristics Archives". So they are saving all their messages. Incredibly creepy. Oh this is Doug's first log. Yeah...that's why the logs go to command. Sure.

Yep. It is spooky. Wonder what is making those creaking noises?

Oh poor Doug. Hephaestus is a difficult word, but I would have hoped you'd have heard it enough times by now.

Huh. "Weirdly big for just three people"

...yeah. Almost as if it was made for more people but they decided they didn't want an astrophysicist this time.

"The crew seems nice". 😐

Yeah you DO want to get along with Minkowski. Trust me.

"Dr. Hilbert. Seems friendly enough. Hard to understand what he's saying, but he seems nice enough. I haven't really seen him since we docked here. We've got plenty of time to get to know each other."

Hilarious considering it's the same voice actor, not to mention the irony.

"Creeped out by Hera" and now they are best friends. And Doug, Doug she can hear you. She hears everything.

Poor Hera.

Oh that's it? Huh. Interesting. I wonder if we'll get to hear any other cool logs...

Episode 23: No Pressure

Doug. I've enjoyed listening to you work together for the past episode (which I listened to while folding clothes, sorry for the lack of live reaction).

But Lovelace tried to help you! A fake emergency sounds like a scary idea. She's already on edge. And something tells me that this might lead to a REAL emergency.

Hera. Hera. What is this? This sounds like a very very very bad idea.

Plan B? Hopefully just talk to Lovelace nicely? I don't like this. They were getting along so well! The moth joke was nice!

I do not think this is gonna go well.

"Shut up" good for you Hera.

"This is gonna end well."

I don't think it will.

Episode 24: Tactical Brain Damage

I love the title. But I'm nervous.

Oh boy. Hera. "Communications officer who shall remain nameless" 😂😂😂

"We want her distracted not murderously enraged".

Then maybe this is a bad idea. Wait what? Hera what are your sensors picking up?

This isn't gonna end well is it?

I wonder if Lovelace is treating Hera like that because she reminds her of Rhea. Or however it's spelled.

Big red cable? What does that do?

Yeah. Maybe this isn't the best idea.

Oh. Eiffel is the alternative. Well then.

"Permission to speak freely sir" maybe it's just me, but it's odd that Eiffel calls them sir instead of ma'am. Is that a thing in the military or does Doug just not know the feminine version of the word and no one has bothered to correct him.

"What does Hera know" A lot. Yeah Lovelace. You need to show Hera some respect. She's really nice.

"Well educated guess". I do not like this. I do not like this at all.

Um...HERA? HERA.

Uh oh. Oh no. Don't like that alarm. That's a pretty bad alert.

Um..."I just went some where didn't I?" ...WHERE DID SHE GO? Oh dear? Corrupted code?

"Do you think she'll notice" 😂

I love that despite nearly dying every single episode, they keep their humor. I hope they survive this, but I doubt it.

I hope they at least get a half decent ending and drag Hilbert and Cutter down with them.

"What are the other two doing?"

Oh no. Lovelace is gonna snap.

"You're wrong" "I'm not. But that's okay. Because you still have time. Because my way is the only way."

...Lovelace. Lovelace please be reasonable. Don't forget who the real enemy is. And Doug. You might want to work on your trickery skills.

"Ow" "...is this hurting you?" Oh dear. Poor Hera.

"Would it hurt you?" "Is there a risk of permanent damage?" "Yes."

It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Poor Hera. Good job Minkowski, take care of the crew.

"I know you won't let anything happen to me". Oh okay. It's okay. I didn't need my heart.

And Hera is okay!

haha...yeah Eiffel's plan didn't exactly work out. Please don't antagonize Lovelace.

No. NOT HILBERT. DO NOT GO TO HIM FOR HELP EVEN WHEN HE TRIES TO HELP HE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT VERY UNHELPFUL.

Mini Episode 3: Variations on a Theme

"The more things change, the more they stay the same".

This would be very scary. They are all gonna need intensive psychotherapy after this.

"Rhea checked in with me, that was then this is now. Hera's polite, her programming forces her to be, but I hear what she's really saying..."

😂The impressions. It's also sad that she misses Rhea.

Breaking bones, tossing her out an airlock, and leaving her to die??? Lovelace, Hera might be cold to you, but the feeling seems mutual, and she doesn't want you to die. The only person she's tried to kill is Hilbert, and if they stopped her from doing that, what makes you think that she'd try to kill you? That sounds wayyyy more like something Cutter would suggest. Where has he been anyway?

"More or less angry if she knew the truth?"

IF HERA KNEW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT? Does something terrible happen to the AI units? Is she a copy of someone's brain or personality from a previous mission that Lovelace hates?

Normalize explaining things instead of all this ominous foreshadowing. And I know, okay, I know, when I write my own stuff, that's all I ever do. Call me a hypocrite if you want.

This is very creepy. She's lived through this so much and in space there's not much sense of time.

Oh right. Lambert was the communications officer right? Hilbert must have given him the virus too.

But um...didn't he die a horrible painful death?

"But does he know how it ends, what happens when he gets-"

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE GETS WHAT? WHAT DOES THE VIRUS DO?

Any more ominous hints you'd like to drop Lovelace? I get the feeling you have quite a few.

Hera, Rhea. Yeah they are anagrams. I got the spelling right! It's also an anagram for "hear" which makes the "I always hear you" line more powerful.

"Everything...except him. He never goes away. He never changes."

...Hilbert or Cutter?

Oh Dr. Hilbert. Yeah. I wonder why he never goes away. And I don't think either of them feel much of anything at all.

"Stay way from the ghosts."

Easier said than done.

"You can never go home. You were home. And now you're back. And you can never go back."

...DID she get back? Did they wipe her memory and send her back?

"No friends no trust no safety"

WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL THEM WHAT YOU KNOW.

In fact, I think they should all spill all their secrets. Out in the open. That way command has nothing on them.

But for some reason, I think it might be a while before that happens.

I think that's it for today guys, but I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!

[fff777]

reaction part 1 to 7llin' with dream episode 2

I thought this was supposed to come out yesterday according to the schedule but whatever

Oh this is a long one, it's half an hour long

I know Chenle likes wearing sunglasses a lot but him wearing sunglasses indoors ^^;; Mark's like "whatever you say dude"

Mark and Chenle: *Deadass arguing about whether Chenle wore sunglasses at rehearsal* Jeno: Let's focus, guys.

Chenle basically does the grocery shopping by himself

Meanwhile, Haechan, Renjun, Jaemin, and Jisung are just eating ramyeon and taking cute pictures

I forgot to mention this last time, but Jisung's bright orange hair reminded me of Chenle's bright orange hair during Boom. I think it's the same shade.

Throwback Thursday indeed

Pretending they were in a music video when the sunlight hit in a very aesthetically pleasing way

Renjun's hair had red streaks but I could only tell in certain lighting

The 'at home' group was discussing how the grocery group was doing and whether they'd need to call them to help and they were already coming to the conclusion that it'd be fine because Chenle was there and he'd know when it was necessary to call them.

Chenle looking for cooking wine cutely and thanking the camera person cutely when they point it out for him

Jeno was complaining about the guys being loud and noisy and embarrassing before and now Mark's just straight up yelling across the supermarket

Sensory overload for Jeno who's in the middle of Mark and Chenle's conversation

I always get creeped out by how many crew are filming them and this is no different ^^;;

Dancing in the middle of their discussion about food

YES JAEMREN GIRLIES WE ARE BAQ!!!

Mark: The Dreamies are scary

Red ginseng makgeolli sounds like something for dads ToT

Chenle is so excited at the thought of feeding the Dreamies red ginseng makgeolli...it's probably really bitter lol.

This makes me respect him as a chef lol. You need veggies!!!!

Jeno: We need spam Mark: Spam, where are you Yes Mark, I'm sure spam will grow a set of wheels and roll right over to you

As a person who only cooks on occasion, I relate to this so deeply lol

The at home crew now discussing what it would mean if someone said "this made me think of you" and sent you a picture of the moon.

Chenle: I don't want to buy this for Jisung since he asked me for it You absolute brat. They were looking for the ramyeon that Jisung wanted.

Jeno: It's not good to try things As spoken by a true homebody

Back to the moon conversation lol

Haechan said he'd just be confused by the moon picture and ask for an explanation

Jaemin said he wouldn't look at the text, but they clarified that in this situation, it was from someone he loved, and he did a 180 and said he'd call them and talk for 3 hours X'D 對人不對事

Renjun is the only valid man. OF COURSE THE MOON IS ROMANTIC!!!

Ok new situation presented by Haechan: What if someone you loved was involved in a very minor traffic accident? What would you say? Jisung: Was it your fault? Renjun: Are you okay? Jaemin: (1) Are you okay? (2) Do you know the insurance company's phone number? Jaemin once again showing he is the most practical adult ever lol.

Grocery store team still deciding on whether to buy the massive green onion

Apparently green onion parks are a thing??? What?? I want to go???? Are you allowed to chop your green onions from there??

Interesting that there's a small clothing section at the entrance/exit of the supermarket lol

Bickering about carrying groceries in bags vs. boxes all the way out the door

Mark was literally shook by how nice the sky looked when they left the supermarket lol

There she is <3

It's so cold that you can see Jisung's breath as he speaks

I think the subtitles at this point are starting to be a little bit off (in terms of timing) and so it's a bit hard to focus ^^;;

Jaemin just started the campfire and then dipped to let Jisung have a dramatic soliloquy lol.

Jisung: Jaemin didn't take off his gloves so he's coming back

Renjun looking down at him lol

Jaemin was just standing inside warming up but of course still keeping an eye on Jisung. And he couldn't help but open the door when he watched Jisung doing something wrong lol. This is such mom energy XD

Oh, it's something to make the fire change colour

It amuses me that you can see both Renjun and Jaemin watching Jisung as he struggles alone XD Mom energy all around

On his way to being a lumberjack. He doesn't wear flannel all the time for no reason.

Jisung tripping over the supplies on the ground instantly negating any hope of us thinking he was a manly lumberjack and not a clumsy baby.

Jaemin finally returns

Jaemin hyping up Jisung to add wood to the fire

Meanwhile Jaemin threw it in super fast and just walked back in with his hand in his pocket lmao.

Jaemin going back in to cook ramyeon. Didn't they just eat?

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Admin- I’m sorry to be the umpteenth person to bring this tarot thing up again but I’m doing this because I like you - and since their followers go over there and tell them what is been said on your blog- I thought I should do the same so that you also know what they say about you.

“I also find it funny that some of the same people throwing shade at us over on TWEAM and saying that we feed the crazies, are on their own page literally arguing with the crazies. So, yea TWEAM admin feels superior and is sticking to her own conclusions and assumptions and that's fine. She will not post anything that might defend us, just like she claims we won't post anything happy about Evan and Nat. I wish we had something happy to post about them” (theloverscardtarot)

“It’s because Evan doesn’t have anything going on, so we’re the main targets for now and apparently they think we’re “jealous of Nat” and “hate her”. That and they could be nervous about the readings coming true or not. In time, I’m sure Nat will post something soon for them to fawn over.” (shamrock)

also it looks like this other girl who was a previous follower from your blog and is now up to doing readings herself is teaming up with these two. Looks like they think they can predict the future or something….

first off, thank you anon and i appreciate you 💗 but i will say, this has been going on for a while now, so i expect it. the whole reason me/my blog even became a part of this debacle is because all three of these readers are actually former followers who regularly interacted with this blog, and when mycovenofchaos lost her marbles over evan/natalie and eventually over me posting about them, she started to make subtle digs at me and my followers for believing they were dating. during this time, she also repeatedly followed and unfollowed me like she was trying to get my attention/get a reaction from me, but i said nothing. ultimately, she started to harass me anonymously before i blocked her account and IP address. later, a follower alerted me to shamrock addressing anonymous messages sent to me on her blog, trying to stir the pot and cause trouble.. which set everything off.

all of these users still follow and read now, just on burner accounts, which one of them already admitted to despite me blocking their account and the others blocking me. they want the back and forth, and quite frankly, i do not care anymore than i cared that, ahem.. other accounts have done the same thing once they got mad i voiced my disagreement. it is what it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

i already made my stance clear that i will not tolerate any unfair hate and negativity towards natalie/natalie and evan. there is no reason for any neutral person to park themselves on a tarot blog (or 3) that is nearly solely dedicated to frequent, daily readings and posts that denigrate evan’s relationship and natalie herself. there just isn’t. so no, i will not be posting any messages that advocate for this harmful behavior. and if i have reason to believe that someone is hate watching my blog, as i said before, all i am going to do is block their IP address and/or account so that it’s harder for them to harass me. i’m here for a good time, not to argue with deranged people who think it’s normal to do daily readings obsessively trying to predict the future of a celebrity relationship.

[someone-ds]

Totally insufferable is what he is. But God am I just drawn to insufferable men.

He walks with his chin up, clothes worth more than two of my paychecks combined, a kick in his step, and a smirk across his clean-shaven face that would bring any woman to her knees.

He has mastered the art of a souverain aura. He has had a thing for getting the rise out of me since day one. And how I hated his guts, ohh how I hated everything about his stupidly handsome face. He is smart I’ll give him that, almost as smart as me. Our professor has grown fond of our rivalry, instigating heated discussions and making us meet heads every lecture. I love a challenge and mmh how delicious of a challenge he is. Our eyes meet more often than I’d like. He watches me, in return I watch him. I cannot help myself. When he talks my ears perk up, the corners of my mouth curl up, and my eyes usually roll because of his awful trash talk. I fall victim to his charm and wit. I wish to sink my teeth into his throat and mark him as mine. He talks and talks to try and get a reaction out of me. Over the summer he has apparently forgotten how much fun it is. So he does it all the time. Was sich liebt neckt sich what loves that teases

And tease we do. He drives me crazy, he makes me wild. I want to just shut him up with my lips, he brings the worst out of me. And he loves that. God how he saviours my annoyed eyes and angry huffs. He feeds off it. It’s almost animal-like how we prey on each other. He drives to Germany every weekend, he’s from there. Something I tease him about constantly. the way he says certain words makes me cackle. ‘What was that? What did you just say, sorry I didn’t get it?’ ‘Ugh, how do you guys say that??’

My hometown is on his way to his hometown. So, he mentions every other Monday when he comes back to class. On Friday it so happens that instead of going getting off a stop later than he does; I get off at the same time as he does. We’re going to his apartment, in a building with a porter, community kitchens, cinemas, gaming rooms, saunas, and pools. It is straight out of a fucking movie. The walk up to the apartment he talks about the area, his feet and mine falling into sync. I am awestruck, cranking my neck up to see all those beautiful skyscrapers that surround us. It feels like I’m in a totally different city, a feeling that will continue to grow the longer you spend in his bubble. We walk into the rotating doors, and the portier watches me closely and asks me what I am doing here. ‘She’s with me’ he barks and goes up to him. He signs some paper and scowls the man for his rude behavior to his guest. I stand awkwardly to the side. A warm feeling in my stomach. ‘She’s with me’ echoes through my head. Strangely it sounds lovely coming from his lips. There is a tablet in front of the elevator behind two glass doors he used a keycard for us to pass through. He punches a number in, I’m too distracted to see which one. I scan the walls and the floor. We go in. The elevator is spacious and weirdly has no buttons on the inside. There is a red LED indicator telling us which floor we are on. ‘Wait, which floor do you live on again?’ He lowers his head a bit, I can hear the smirk on his pretty pink lips when he says ‘The 23rd’ My jaw drops. Then my head falls back, and a nervous laugh leaves me. I’ve never been this high above the ground before. My knees buckle a bit. He squared his shoulders and stepped out before me. He casually strolls the corridor talking about the VIP features he has; I pay him half a mind. More interested in my surroundings, the carpet and the wall, and the decorations. We go through the gaming lounge. ‘It’s a short cut’ he says and winks. I’m still awestruck and too mesmerized by everything to even consider mocking him for the cheesy line delivery. We are on the 23rd floor of a luxury apartment complex and all I can think about is how much I do not fit in here. We get to his door, it’s the last one in the hallway. He goes in. I stay two steps behind him not sure if I should come in or wait until he’s done grabbing his bags. ‘Come in, I’m sorry it’s so messy… I rarely have people over’ he says the last part more quietly. ‘Should I take my shoes off?’ is the first thing that leaves my mouth. He looks down at my feet and then just shakes his head no. ‘Nah you’re fine, doesn’t matter’. His apartment is smaller than I thought it’d be. A small kitchenette, and a queen-sized bed with a TV in front of it. A small desk and a beautiful dark blue velvet couch. The bathroom is off to the side down a small corridor. But what gets me is the view. The floor-to-ceiling windows and a terrace that wraps around the whole apartment. He opens the door for me and rushes off to pack his bag while I stand quietly by the door. I walk around trying to get a feel of who he really is. A postcard by his bedside table and a picture of the family dog tell me he misses home more than he lets on. I get it- I think to myself. On his desk are two bottles of Dom Perigon 2010 and 2008. A small but heavy Porsche Trophy with his dad’s name on it. A small frame with a family picture around a table in a restaurant. He has his mother’s eyes. I wonder if anyone has ever told him that. I venture out to the balcony. The wind has my curls flying all over the place. I feel like a little kid giggling out there. I look over the city that I have come to call home for the past year. It looks completely different from up here. I feel like I’m on a different planet altogether. ‘How much do you pay for this?’ I say as I step over his clothes that had fallen from the clothing line. ‘1200€ without the garage, it’s 100 more with’ he says nonchalantly as if that’s not more than I make in 2 months.

My knees buckle again. I’m a bit dizzy, the wind and the adrenaline from being up so high are making it worse. I go back inside. I see an elegant black suitcase in the corner of the room. ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if that was a Rimowa suitcase?’ I think to myself. Those things are stupidly expensive. I go look at the black leather nametag with his Initials carved into it, I turn it over and of course, it is a fucking Rimowa suitcase. ‘You’re so fucking predictable.’ I shout in his general direction. ‘Is it true that you get lifelong insurance on these things and if it breaks, they provide you with a different one until yours is repaired?’ ‘Yeah, that’s true, I mean I paid 2,3k on that. That’s the least they can do.’ He changed his clothes and puts his driving shoes on, I bite back the remark about how only old men have dedicated driving shoes. We’re back at the elevator. We go from the 23rd floor to the -2nd floor in less than 30 seconds. We walk around the parking garage and the trunk of a black Q5 opens on its own as soon as we round the corner. He puts his bags inside, shuts the trunk, and walks over to the driver’s door. I’m still looking at the car. The plate with his name and lucky number on it sits proudly on the car. Gobsmacked. What the hell… I get in. The plush leather seat is nice, soft, and smooth. I feel like I’m in a Rocketship. I look around and every second that passes the more in awe I am. He reverses out of his parking space and off we go. His car is so high that I can’t really see over the hood. We drive out of the garage onto the busy streets of Vienna that are beginning to feel more like fucking Miami. He has a panorama roof that slides open, and he puts his hand out the top. The other rested comfortably on the leather steering wheel. ‘Be honest how many times have you stuck your head through this?’ He laughs and shakes his head. ‘Never I just put my hand out like this.’ It is weirdly attractive; he looks expensive and by association, I do too. And that feeling is growing on me. I have been in some car accidents and get nervous being in cars with people I’ve never driven before, especially young rich guys with a car that has 250 horsepower and an inflatable ego. ‘You’re not going to drive like a crazy person, are you?’ ‘I drive more than 500km in a week and have been for over a year, I’m better than most drivers. You’re safe with me don’t worry.’ He turns the music on and I relax in my seat. I then say something about being so high up in the air. He presses some buttons on the little touchpad in the middle of us and I can feel the hind tires lift and the car rising. Then the front tires, I watch as the hood of the car rises while we stand at the red light.

What. The. Fuck? He just lifted us 10cm off the ground. This is so intoxicating, I feel drunk. Bubbly and happy. More from the nerves but also from the sheer ridiculousness that this boy is. He drives us out of the city, and I relax in my seat. We talked about the car how much it cost and the upgrades he got. He starts singing along to the song that is playing. The sun is slowly setting and a strip of light slices through his eyes vertically leaving a honey chocolate strip in his eyes. I ask him how loud the music can get, and he puts it up all the way. And again, I feel like I’m not in Vienna and not with my academic rival but with a friend in Miami. The roof is open the music is loud and good, and I am getting used to feeling like I’m above the rest. The conversation goes from the car and his apartment to his dad and grandparents. His dad is a professional horse rider and owns a hotel that belonged to his grandparents. They own 35 horses and have like 5 luxury cars. He has a younger brother who lives with his mother. His parents are separated. He used to watch his dad on TV and cheer him on. ‘He was home for a day or two a week and then traveled for 3 weeks, I never saw him.’ ‘Did you miss him?’ I ask quietly. It seems like he loves his dad a great deal. ‘No’ his face crunches up a bit, tilting to the side. ‘He was never there so how could I even miss him?’ That breaks my heart a tiny bit. I ask about his mother. ‘Oh, she works in IT’ he says, and I can tell he is embarrassed. ‘Oh, that’s so cool what are you on about?’ His brother has a Michelin-star restaurant named after him. He has to come by every few weeks to walk around and say hello to the guests. The image of that makes me chuckle. I am still mostly looking up at the panoramic window that graces the roof of his car. A pleasant conversation is held with good music coming through the speakers. The wind makes my hair fly around. I feel free.

He drops me off at my house, and I shut the door not before wishing him a safe trip.

He is insufferable and mean. But he is a good guy. Not that I would know what that means. Good guys were never my type.

And over the weekend my mind kept going back. To the feeling of freedom.

[sekhisadventures]

Aziguni's Lucky Number

Valdrakken, the Roasted Ram

Shalandrae sat at the bar as Nitika examined her arm. It had been a few days now and their adversary had yet to reappear, but after that incident Nelen and Grimo agreed that it was almost certain that she targeted Shalandrae because she was alone… and so they all decided to pair up whenever heading out for the time being.

Groups of two, minimum, and never leaving without one of Grimo’s new devices.

With the help of the engineers staying in Valdrakken he was able to replicate his device and made enough for at least half of both Avalon and Savage United now, though it was slow going. Making them small enough to wear on the wrist yet sensitive enough to detect Dissonantia’s demonic allies was tricky work and required some specific materials which weren’t as easy to obtain on the Dragon Isles as they might have been closer to Orgrimmar.

It also didn't help that some people couldn't wear one. Shalandrae's shapeshifting power would render one absorbed into her body (and possibly break it) when she transformed, and Nelen had much the same issue. His own robes were spelled to change size when he became a worgen, but such magic would interfere with the watch's sensors.

At the bar with the night elf and tauren were Nelen and Leza, the former going over a spellbook with the latter to describe the finer points of conjuring foodstuffs from pure magic. The vulpera girl had been eager to learn that one as soon as she could. No vulpera grew up in Vol’dun without experiencing the lean times as it were, and the ability to feed her family with arcane energy alone was something she wanted to master as soon as she could.

Further up the table was Zhan-min, the pandaren man writing in a leather bound journal. His own brewing notes. He and Jaie had been talking recently, and she was trying to talk him into doing something specific. While the pandaren man was hesitant, he couldn’t deny that Jaie’s idea had merit… but he hadn’t quite shared with the others what exactly she wanted him to do yet.

After several long moments and a few gentle prods to gauge Shalandrae’s reaction, the tauren woman nodded, “Well, it looks like besides some spots on your arm still being slightly lighter than the rest you’re almost healed. Should go away in a day or two.” she said, releasing the druid’s limb.

Shalandrae gingerly felt over her arm as Nitika added ‘as long as you don’t pick at it’ under her breath, the elf rolling her eye at her. “Yeah, I know… but yeah, Sekhi and Dareley did good work. I blacked out after Dissonantia ran off, but apparently she’d made a real mess of me.” she frowned. “Bilescourge… ugh… saw too many of those damned things on Argus…” she sighed, then looked up at the sound of hooves approaching through the large stone building. “… huh, speaking of Argus…” she murmured with a grin.

Aziguni was walking towards them, the draenei woman smiling a bit awkwardly as she approached, and as she drew close Shalandrae noticed something different about her outfit.

“Hey, um… Aziguni… where’s your tabard?” asked Shalandrae with a raised eyebrow. Ever since she’d met her, the draenei had worn the tabard of the Dragonscale Expedition… but today it was missing.

Aziguni chuckled a bit nervously, “Well… about that…” she began…

Expedition Field Headquarters, Some Hours Earlier

“A formal complaint against me from the Reliquary?!” demanded Aziguni as she stood in a large tent, across from a dwarven man wearing a loose comfortable top, trousers with lots of pockets, and sturdy boots. He had a long thick beard of black hair running to grey and a monocle in one eye.

“Lass, I get where yer comin’ from aye, but… well…” he took a breath, “A few of th’ other members of th’ Expedition stated they felt… unsafe… given who you’ve been associatin’ with lately.” he nodded, resting his hands on a large table between them.

The table was covered in maps, various bones and samples of rock and stone, a few plant clippings, several pictures taken with a S.E.L.F.I.E. camera of native wildlife, and the like… but in the middle turned so Aziguni could read it was a scroll bearing the seal of the Reliquary.

“… who I have been associating with…” she replied icily, “This is about my brother, isn’t it Balfir?” she looked down at it, then up at him. “Du’thaes and Zelan are behind this, aren’t they?” she frowned.

The dwarf shook his head, “Lass, ye know I cannae answer that. Th’ whole point o’ these sorta complaints is that they’re promised anonymity ta avoid retaliation. All I can tell ye is that they’re in th’ Horde.” he nodded. That much was obvious given that it was the Reliquary making a complaint. Until recently the Horde and Alliance were at war with each other, so the Dragonscale Expedition had set up this system to address issues before they became outright battles.

She stood up, looking at him, “I see… and what does the Explorer’s League say about this?” she asked, keeping her voice as even as possible.

Balfir sighed. “Honestly lass, I’ve been gettin’ rumblin’s from our side as much th’ same. I understand he’s yer family ‘n Velen vouches for ‘em… but…” he paused, thinking for a moment, “… I cannae pretend that there ain’t a lot o’ people on both sides who’d be happy ta see th’ Eredar bugger back off ta Argus.”

Aziguni shook her head, “I cannot believe this Balfir… are you honestly telling me that to satisfy this I would be expected to cut ties to my own brother?” she demanded, throwing up her hands.

Balfir frowned, “Aye, that be th’ lot of it… Again, I understand where yer comin’ from lass, but yer brother is a bloody man’ari! I sympathize, but…” he began.

She scowled, “Yes… and now I am being asked to choose between him and my work for the Explorer’s League and the Expedition. Is that it?” she asked.

He nodded firmly, “Aye lass. That be it.”

She looked down at the notice one more time… then reached for the strap holding her quiver on and undid it, dropping it on the floor.

“Er… lass?” asked the dwarf, looking shocked at her actions.

“Shut up.” she snapped, pulling her tabard off over her head, then tossing it on his desk in a heap. “If I must choose between my job and my family, then there is no choice to be made.” she replied, pulling her quiver back on and turning to go. “I have worked for the Explorer’s League since I first arrived on Azeroth, but now that my brother is… an undesirable… I am being confronted with such a decision. Give my regards to Brann and the others…” she nodded curtly, turning to leave as Balfir goggled at her.

As she left she paused, seeing three elves standing a ways off. Zelan, Du’thaes, and Erimisa… the ones she had encountered after helping Malgum with his injury.

She smirked, gave them a very rude gesture, then whistled as she walked off towards the path out of the camp. As she did Eocundo and Muaaqi made their way over to her and followed alongside her on the road back to Valdrakken.

The Roasted Ram

Aziguni sat at the table with a fresh mug of moonberry wine, blowing out her lips. “In hindsight I may have still been a little testy given everything that had happened since Malgum arrived… but… yes… I am no longer affiliated with the Expedition, or the Explorer’s League at all.” she sighed.

Shalandrae nodded in understanding… to both sides of the story infact. She was willing to at least attempt to tolerate Malgum’s relation to Aziguni, now that the two of them were… well… ‘giving it a try’ as they decided the morning after Dissonantia’s attack, but she also saw where those who complained were coming from too. While it sounded like those Aziguni suspected of it were doing it out of malice, she also believed that there were those with genuine fears and concerns towards the man’ari.

After what she’d seen of Malgum’s ‘felfury,’ she couldn’t deny those fears had merit… even Aziguni was worried seeing that, though her concerns were more helping her brother control and contain such awful powers, possibly even removing them somehow.

Leza huffed at them, the young vulpera piping up. “That’s a buncha yeena crap Aziguni. They can’t just expect ya ta drop your brother like that. I don’t care what he did, family is important!” she nodded firmly.

Nelen nodded, “Mm… that’s easy to say when you haven’t been to Argus apprentice… but… yes, Velen trusts in Azraal and his followers so I’m willing to at least give them the same chance the Alliance gave my people.” he nodded. To say that the worgen were not immediately accepted by the Alliance would be an understatement. The late King Varian Wrynn himself had originally tried to block them rejoining their former allies, and if not for Anduin’s persuading and Greymane helping the Varian with his own less literal but no less problematic inner beast the Gilneans may well have been on their own.

Shalandrae had moved next to Aziguni after her tale had begun, the druidess holding her hand with her uninjured one, a look of concern on her face. “So… what are you going to do now?” she asked.

Aziguni shrugged, “I… honestly do not know Shalandrae. The Explorer’s League gave me a salary for my aid since arriving on Azeroth. Now that this is gone… well…” she winced. At the time it had seemed so clear, but gear needed repairs and both herself and her two companions needed feeding, nevermind that she went through a LOT of arrows. Being a hunter could get very expensive.

Zhan-min however was grinning, the heavyset pandaren man leaning back in his chair. “Well I got a dang good idea for ya gal.” he said. “Back home in Halfhill, we believe a lot in ‘lucky numbers,’ and given how ya’ll are an item now… well…” he smirked, “Maybe its just a goofy ol’ Pandaren superstition, but they say that seven is a good number fer… relationships. ‘specially new ones.” he nodded.

Nelen and Shalandrae looked at him, then the druid shrugged. “Okay… seven… what?” she asked.

Zhan-min’s grin widened, “Ain’t it obvious girl?” he pointed to himself and held up a finger. “Me…” he jerked a thumb back at Nelen and held up another, “Th’ boss back there…” he pointed to Shalandrae and held up a third, “Ya’ll…” then he held up a fourth, “Jaie,” a fifth, “Sam,” and a sixth, “Dareley.” and then he looked at Aziguni meaningfully and nodded slow.

Aziguni blinked in confusion, then it dawned on her as she pointed to herself and replied, “… seven?” she asked.

Zhan-min laughed, “Well why not? Seven is a dang good number for couples, you two are a couple, ‘n if you join us that makes seven of us!” he grinned, gesturing to them and nodding, then adding in an almost offhanded way, “Also ya’ll’re definitely on Dissonantia’s shit-list now that she knows yer th’ one who drew her picture… sooooo… yeah, probably best ya’ll stick close ta us if ya can.” he turned, looking back at Nelen, “Well? Ya’ll agree with me right boss man?”

Nelen scratched at his beard, “I can’t deny that you make a good point there. I don’t follow Pandaren Numerology myself, but seven is a magically significant number… and, yes, now that Dissonantia knows who you are…” he frowned, looking at Aziguni, “Honestly you’re lucky she didn’t come after you already. From what Shalandrae told me she was murderous even by her standards.”

Shalandrae was grinning. She had grown closer to Aziguni after what had happened and while they two were still feeling things out… she did know that the idea of the draenei woman being around more often was something she was quite happy with. “Well, I think we both know you have my endorsement… and probably Dareley’s too.” she nodded, “He and I tend to agree on most things.”

Aziguni chuckled a bit, “Yes… er… I have noticed you and Paladin Steelhammer have a very… um…” she began.

Shalandrae snorted a bit as Nelen chuckled and shook his head. “No!” replied the night elf, “No no no no no by Elune no! Its not like that… Dareley and I are just… well… we’ve known each other since Northrend and… yes, we’re just very very good friends. We founded Avalon together… but… yeah, he’s… not looking for a relationship with anyone.” she nodded.

“Don’t worry Aziguni, you’re not the first one to make that assumption about them. They do rather come off like an old married couple sometimes don’t they?” asked Nelen as Zhan-min gave a loud belly laugh as only one of the Pandaren could, a real belly laugh where he jiggled all over.

Shalandrae gave Nelen an annoyed look, but she didn’t deny it with more than just a small shrug.

Aziguni blushed in embarrassment at that, hearing Leza giggling as she shook her head, “Well, now that we have that cleared up… yes, if you are offering I would be quite pleased to join Avalon. Is there… um… any official documentation? An orientation process? A new tabard?” she asked quizzically.

Nelen shook his head, “No no, none of that. The only one of us who wears a tabard is Dareley, and its his old Argent Crusade one from when he was in Northrend. We’re fairly informal. Unless anyone objects, you’re in… and I doubt Sam would complain… and I know Jaie wouldn’t.” he smirked. Jaie had been telling him a few times how frustrating it was to watch Aziguni and Shalandrae dance around what was clearly a budding relationship, especially when she had trouble finding anyone who wasn’t… well… Jaie found most non-pandaren women to be ‘too skinny.’

Aziguni smiled at his words, nodding, then settled in next to Shalandrae as Nelen ordered them a fresh round of drinks.

“So… Zhan… seven is ‘good for relationships?’” asked Leza, “Uh… how does that work?” she asked.

Zhan-min looked at her, then frowned and stroked his beard, “Huh, yeah guess it must sound odd ta someone who ain’t from Pandaria. Its… um… Pandaren is a kinda… tricky… language fer outsiders ta learn.” he explained. “Lotta overlap in words ‘n how ya’ll say a word can change what it means.” he nodded to the young vulpera, “Our word fer seven sounds th’ same as ‘even’ so people think it’s good fer couples ‘cause it means an ‘even’ relationship. Fair, both people carryin’ their share o’ th’ load… ya’ll get me?” he asked.

“Oh… neat.” she giggled, her tail wagging, “Do ya got a lucky number?” she asked curiously.

He grinned wide, “Sure do! Nine’s mah lucky number, ‘cause its th’ same word we use fer ‘alcohol!’” he laughed, taking his mug as the barmaid came by with a fresh tray.

Aziguni chuckled along with the others, then looked around at them “Oh, um… I did mean to ask… have any of you seen Malgum?”

At this the laughter slowly trailed off. Shalandrae, Nelen, and Zhan-min looked between each other, then Zhan-min shrugged as Nelen and Shalandrae shook their heads in response.

Aziguni frowned, looking worried, “Oh… I was hoping… I haven’t seen him since he ran off after Dissonantia in the Azure Span. I mean… I know he’s probably fine… a man’ari is a very hard thing to kill…” she replied, tapping her finger against the table anxiously.

Nelen shrugged and nodded, “Mm, yes that is true… well, I’ll ask the others when they come back in if they’ve seen him anywhere…”

The Twisting Nether, Dissonantia’s Lair

“’ow much bleedin’ longer is this gonna take Gremori?” growled Dissonantia. Binding Malgum and forcing him to return with them had been difficult, nevermind keeping the spell active enough that he couldn’t invoke the felfury again once his strength returned.

“It’ll be done when its done Dis! This isn’t easy! Eredar skin is tough!” she replied, holding a long, sharpened demon fang in one hand and a jar of felblood and other foul ingredients in the other as she dipped the fang in it, then went back to work.

Malgum snarled around an improvised gag that Dissonantia had Cenoon make when she’d gotten sick of his cursing and threats, which the Incubus had crafted together worryingly quickly. Malgum’s body was uncovered above the waist and his arms and back now sported the beginnings of several large tatoos that glowed a sickly greenish glow.

“Good bleedin’ fing yez know how ta do this…” she grumbled, annoyed she had to rely on the felsworn’s skill.

“Damn right it is. We ink these right and you put your spell in them, and Malgum is as good as your puppet!” she laughed as the captive eredar snarled around his gag and thrashed about, causing her to step back until his strength ran out, then continue her work.

Dissonantia grinned wide, “Mmhm… lookin’ forward ta seein’ th’ bleedin’ look on Nelen’s face when I send that ball o’ felfire ‘n crazy at them!” she cackled.

At this point however, Gremori paused, then looked back at her, “Uh… Dis? You… can’t let him do that.” she warned.

Dissonantia sat up and frowned, the witch seated in her throne as she held one arm out, maintaining the control spell that kept Malgum from calling upon his fel-cursed strength. “Wot? Why th’ feck not?!”

Gremori sighed, “The felfury burns everything. That’s why that whole part of the Azure Span went up like that. Anything around them is burned up, including them. If Malgum uses it, then it’ll burn away the tattoos too.” she explained.

Dissonantia scowled, “Well feck… looks like me new toy is gonna be missin’ one of th’ best bits.” she frowned, “Well, at least he can deal with that draenei bitch that helped Nelen make all those feckin’ wanted posters.” she smirked as Malgum growled and cursed, his words rendered unintelligible by his gag.

“Eh? Wot was that Malgum?” she taunted, “I couldn’t quite hear yez, boyo. Speak up! Didja say ‘I wanna strangle me sister ta death with me bare hands?’ Tsk tsk… patience! Gremori gotta finish yez’s pretty new tattoos first…” she grinned wide, watching Malgum strain against his chains as he bellowed oaths of retribution and death around his gag again.

Dissonantia smirked, a new slave under her direct control… and unlike the black dragon Nitika couldn’t free this one. An’she’s light would burn Malgum as much as the markings, maybe even kill him.

Yes, controlling a dragon was a good idea, but she decided to stick to what she knew… and what she knew was demons.

Next Story

Previous Story

[sleepymarmot]

BG3 journal, continued

The encounter with Abdirak is just as much of a struggle to complete as it was in the beginning of EA.

I walk into the goblin base unimpeded, disguised as a drow. I have Shadowheart, Astarion, and Wyll with me. I realize that I’ve already seen Wyll’s reaction to the scene and he didn’t like it, so I decide to swap him for someone else. I teleport to camp, remove Wyll from the party, try to add Gale to the party, he demands to be fed first, I go through the entire scene of feeding him, I talk to him again and he finally joins. 

I teleport back. I realize that first I’m supposed to do the scene with the prisoner under torture, and in EA it was an important part of Wyll’s storyline that has been changed since. I want to check out what Wyll does in the new version, so I think “I’ll go to Abdirak first with Gale and then swap him back for Wyll”.

The conversation with Abdirak goes as normal. The cutscene ends, I face the wall, but the continuation doesn’t trigger and Abdirak is nowhere to be found. I remember how I walked around trying to face the wall in EA and do the same, no result. I remember that I took my top off in EA, do the same, it gives me a buff to the checks I’d need to make, but the cutscene still doesn’t trigger. 

I reload. I approach Abdirak, and he screams in terror and runs away.

I reload again. Abdirak starts running away again, I click on him while he’s running and trigger dialogue. The cutscene ends, he proceeds to run, nothing happens.

I assume that going to the camp and back broke something. I reload to before the camp. I do the scene with the prisoner, now that Wyll is with me again. Then I go to Abdirak, who for the first time today has some spectators who came here from the previous scene, and both parts of his scene finally trigger.

I succeed at all three skill checks. Charisma is my main stat, and Intimidation is very easy. Then I pick Constitution and roll a nat 20. Then I pick Intimidation for two reasons: 1) the dialogue line has changed; 2) in the EA I did the Performance line as my third. Obviously, I also succeed.

I do not get the blessing, because apparently the terms have changed and I was supposed to do something differently. Either I shouldn’t have passed the Constitution check, or I should have picked Performance each time, it’s unclear.

I reload and try again. This time I read the books in the room as someone online suggested. Have Shadowheart pre-buff me with Guidance to pass the Religion check. Reload and do it all over again because I accidentally started the dialogue with Shadowheart. This time I actually get new dialogue options because of the book so I pick some of them and get hit with a dagger instead of a scourge. 

So, here is how my rolls go:

Intimidation. More than 20, as expected.

Intimidation again, because I liked that the dialogue options change. Exactly the same number somehow, as a result of slightly different numbers.

Performance. I think, this should be a piece of cake, I’m a Charisma character!

Well. Somehow I managed to roll -3 on a d20:

That’s it. That’s the most remarkable roll I’ve gotten in this game yet.

But you know what, fine. I got my blessing. It’s not very relevant to my build, but I’ve been mad about not getting this buff since it was altogether unachievable back in the EA and I am now finally satisfied.

[percontaion-points]

Firstlife chapter 20

today’s review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 20

“I’m your mother.” 

“My mother is dead.” The words leave me, and I go still. A terrible thought hits me, and I can’t escape it. “Did you kill her? Did you kill my brother?” 

Her gaze implores me to listen, to understand. “I am your mother. You’re Fused with my Ashley. I know it. The timing was perfect—a sign. And you glowed so brightly, as only Generals do.”

Every single goddamned person in this hellish world is mentally ill. To make the situation worse, society is not only not treating any of it, but they are actively feeding into these delusions. 

“Yes, you were an assignment. At first. But I fell in love with you and—” 

“You never loved me. If you had, you would have told me the truth.” 

Irritation flares in his eyes. Irritation he quickly masks with faux hurt. “If I told you the truth, I would have lost you.” 

“You lost me anyway.” I did love this boy, but only a mirage of him. 

Feminine twitters draw my attention to the stairs. Killian stands at the top. He—is—gorgeous. Our gaze meet, and oh, the blood in my veins heats, sizzles and melts me. He’s here. He’s unharmed. 

Slowly he descends the staircase, every female he passes stopping whatever she’s doing to watch him. Some even try to gain his attention. A few reach out to touch him, but he’s focused only on me. 

“Him?” James snarls at me. “You want him?” 

At this point, I’d say that I’d want Richard M Nixon simply to spite that asshole. 

A girl I’ve never met sidles up and wraps an arm around Killian’s waist. He stiffens and flicks her off, but she doesn’t seem to mind the negative reaction, returning to rest her head on the crook of his shoulder. 

She looks me over. “Is she your flavor of the week? Well, I approve. Those mismatched eyes are striking, aren’t they?” 

He wraps an arm around my waist. “Excuse us.” As she stares in astonishment, he leads me away.

 “Another conquest of yours?” I ask. 

“There’s nowhere in the world you can go and not find one. I told you I was very good at my job, and I meant it. But...” 

I’m teetering on the edge of anticipation as I await his words. “But?” 

“You aren’t just a job.” He stops to cup my jaw, peer deep, deep into my eyes. “I didn’t like being parted from you today.”

Right. And how many other women has he said “You aren’t just a job” to?

A smiling Sloan peeks over his shoulder. “Actually, I think you’ll want to keep this one.”

Chapter 20 summary: So Pearl has shown up. The mentally ill Mryadian woman who thinks that Ten is the reincarnation of her twice-dead daughter, Ashley. She has her goons put a nasty-looking collar on Killian, and a group of them disappear to take him to the “kennel”. Then she shoots Archer’s shell, but Pearl is certain that Archer left before the shot. 

She then drags Ten outside, and forces her into a car. As they drive, she will not shut up about how Ten must accept her fate, that the two of them will be able to be together again, blah-blah-blah. Ten foolishly tries to kill her, but apparently forgot that it was nothing but a shell. Pearl leaves and comes back super quickly, so the entire thing was beyond pointless. 

She then forces Ten to do a spa day. Which I know that it sounds like such horrible torture to have a full body massage and her nails painted, but Ten is also there against her will. She knows that Pearl is hoping that Ten will be like “Mommy?!” and that the two of them will have a heartwarming reunion. But that also isn’t how reincarnation works. So even if Ten is Ashley, she wouldn’t remember anyway. She tells Pearl that if Killian is harmed in any way, she’ll sign with Troika. 

Once Ten is all pretty and in a pretty dress, Pearl drags her back to her childhood home, where there’s a bunch of people she doesn’t know for a party. James, her ex-boyfriend, is there, but he’s the last person she wants to see right now. Especially since he lied to her, and literally nothing about their relationship was remotely real in the slightest. 

But Killian shows up, tells James to fuck off, and starts leading Ten away. James goes, but comes back with Sloan. 

[fakeosirian]

working out more character dynamics for foyf via post again since apparently it makes my brain run better don't mind me (read if you like long-winded armchair psychoanalysis? not kidding it's nearly 4k words under there)

re: fabian's sinner capture, there's a sort of "party line" developing that divides fabian, nina, eddie, and patricia in their opinion of how "to blame" he is

fabian personally holds himself entirely to blame, to the point of not acknowledging that uh, other people did have an impact on that situation; claiming full responsibility and not letting that go, while "noble" and better than shirking it, isn't exactly beating the prideful allegations or helping him not repeat the same mistake again

nina, out of the loop until very recently, is having a completely natural strong emotional reaction primarily based in concern, but her means of expressing concern sounds a Lot like criticism/scolding (and people have come to expect this from her, so they may be more sensitive to it/touchy about it than otherwise) -- ultimately she believes in fabian's good intentions, but she also is in the habit of looking to him for answers/trusting his assessments, so if he's getting angry at her for not agreeing with him that he's a bad person, she's going to scold him extra hard (both "you're wrong" and also "well stop acting bad then!") so he can start feeling reliable again. for his own sake, but tbh, for her sake, too.

eddie complicates matters (not by choice -- he does Not want to play messenger despite doing it anyway) because he and KT are in the unique position of being the only two with complete knowledge of the events of the years previous (or at least as complete as is feasible), and he has a far more forgiving and easygoing disposition relatively speaking. he knows fabian messed up, but he's not alone in that, and eddie simply can't be bothered to fixate on him as some sort of problem in perpetuity now that the crisis was averted. he worries about fabian's emotional state (and patricia's! since she's having similar issues), and he knows you can't just get over it overnight, but he insists that it "wasn't that big of a deal since it's all fine and it wasn't really you" in a way that can come off dismissive. basically, he's probably got a healthier picture of what happened, but that's a luxury he can afford to have. those blaming themselves don't respond well to it, and it has mixed results with those who are still trying to grasp what even happened (since it's a "skipping to the end of all of the emotional work and telling you the answer" sort of response on his part -- there's not much else you can expect from him here, but that's still what it is)

patricia is very interesting because she both understands fabian's perspective better than anyone else (besides alfie, but i've chosen to characterize his self-reflection re: his sinner situation as far more successful thus far because of his circumstances). because of that, she's prone to accidentally turning it into a "competition" with him for who fucked up worse. (a competition he will certainly entertain and is equally likely to start with her, too.) that uh, doesn't exactly help either of them much in the short term, but i think having a mirror held up to your face via another person will, over time, increase the chance that at least one of them will have an epiphany about their actual level of responsibility for what happened (ie. yes, that was you, but fixating on it till it defines you is admitting defeat. you can't morally bludgeon yourself into being a better person). that being said, the high of being able to shed people's expectations of you and embrace being kind of a mess is good in moderation -- if they shrunk back from others to feed this dynamic alone, the "connection" would turn regressively malignant fast.

that being said! ultimately, patricia is inclined to fall on the party line of "it really wasn't as bad as fabian thinks it was" with eddie, while fabian and, to a lesser extent, nina are the ones more concerned.

i focused on fabian's situation and not patricia or alfie (or victor or sweet for that matter lol) because i've been writing scenes relating to it for a while now, but i don't think patricia's would be too much different since it is inextricably linked. people just get shuffled up a bit; patricia is obviously fully convinced of her own guilt, and while he still has that optimistic and forgiving pov, i think eddie would have to see her situation differently than fabian's. yeah, he knew what a sinner was when he made his Big Mistake and she didn't, but the reason for patricia's sinner capture was directly related to eddie personally (and from his pov, more of a "long-running issue" for her). eddie doesn't have a grip on fabian's prideful streak from the years before, so lacking that info, is far more likely to dismiss his behavior in s3 as "situational" (explosive reaction to nina's departure, generally paranoid and horrible vibes bringing out the worst in people, taunted in a weak moment) vs. a consistent character flaw -- he's going to see patricia in shades of grey because of the pressure on their relationship that predated s3 (and thus informed the Problems that precipitated her capture). as a result, i think he's more likely to rank someone knowing about sinners or not as less important than their actual behavior and thought process, which would naturally lead him to be easier on fabian and harder on patricia.

that being said, he's definitely not as hard on her as she is; it wouldn't be quite the fabian and nina dynamic re: fabian's capture, as he doesn't have a complex re: loss of control the same way she does, but it'd certainly bother patricia a lot when he continues to draw lines between their present relationship issues and the sinner incident (even if it's out of concern and wanting her to heal from that). it all comes down to the same issue they've had all along: he wants her to just trust him, not like it's easy, but at least like it's something she wants to do; she wants to, but trusting itself is not the hard part: it's the fear of breaking it later that prevents her from taking the leap.

fabian would believe patricia relatively innocent on the basis that she just couldn't have known. yes, he'd empathize with her feelings in spite of that, but because his own issues are so rooted in "i should have known better," he's going to project that priority, even when it's not super appropriate (which, while patricia should take it to heart that she really couldn't have known better in a lot of ways, it does nothing to address the topic she's struggling with, and thus comes off dismissive). nina, similarly, would be shocked/upset that it happened at all, and while she historically has put a lot of emphasis on results vs intentions, i think being away from anubis house would give her a lot of perspective on that, tbh. s2's high stakes + her natural inclination to not handle loss of control well = explosive reactions to people making mistakes; distance makes the heart grow fonder, though, and it's kinda fucked up, but fabian making a mistake that seems far more like an active choice (from her deeply flawed understanding of the situation) would throw patricia into sharp (and sympathetic) relief.

in my eyes, nina is the type to always find something to be worried about (especially after all she's been through training her to look for danger all the time), but she's very practical in that she's going to focus the most on the biggest problem. (other problems will absolutely influence how she handles being upset about that biggest problem, but her conscious focus is in one place.) if fabian's looking like his moral compass has been compromised, patricia suffering a lapse in judgment over a seemingly-unrelated problem (her relationship with eddie) and having that exploited in a way she couldn't possibly have predicted is, relatively speaking, not that big of a deal. it's just not something nina's concerned about her repeating to the same catastrophic effects, and tbh, it's totally in-line with nina's picture of patricia as long as she's known her. fabian, though, has broken her expectations of him, and thus she has a hard time even "knowing who he is" (which he'd echo and insist on even more than nina would; any lingering trust she has in his perspective would only reinforce her lack of trust in him in a really screwy paradoxical sort of way).

i love that nina and eddie, despite confiding in one another about their feelings on this situation more freely than with other people (save KT -- she's got the most unique position here imo), end up mirroring fabian and patricia in that they have roughly the same "experience" of the situation, but the details force them in opposite directions that feed on one another. eddie has a vested interest in keeping nina from getting too upset about something that's "already over," but nina can't help but look for more information that will hurt her to sate her fear of "missing something important."

ironically, while they're not Guaranteed Healthy, fabian and patricia have a dynamic (read: gallows humor, self-critical commiseration, and ultimately open argument) that lends itself better to healing and mutual understanding than nina and eddie at this point; if you asked him if he thought keeping information from someone would help them, he'd say no, but he's still...sorta ascribing to that belief anyway because he sees nina learning too much too fast from "unreliable sources" and getting upset as a "failure" -- why? well, being "left in charge" by her, being "in charge" of the subsequent disaster, and seeing her disappointment (not necessarily with him, but he'd take it that way) in real time would make anyone feel like a screwup. nina getting stressed in particular is a failure in and of itself to him as a "protector" (same way that fabian sees it, the only difference being fabian's been eating away at that feeling for years and it's finally coming to a head vs. eddie who's coasting through it relatively fresh), so his focus is more on reassuring her via statements of "fact" than working through the feelings with her, even the ugly ones. nina should probably take his word for things a bit more and learn to live in the discomfort of not knowing everything (and most of her ugly feelings should be discussed directly with fabian), but as someone who understands her mindset, "just be ok with being uncomfortable" is easier said than done. especially without actively being in therapy. lol.

fabian and eddie, despite being of polar opposite mindsets re: this whole mess, are able to get along (and even improve their relationship?) because eddie's pattern of being hands off and chill and then directly reality-checking fabian when he starts the conversation about something demonstrates the efficacy of trust through action over a long period of time vs. huge declarations that are easier to reject wholesale as theatrics/failure of reasoning. fabian can only insist eddie not trust him for so long before it starts feeling a little ridiculous. (eddie's practiced trust building over and over with patricia, and while fabian does have pretty potent trust issues at this point, they're not NEARLY as deep-seated as patricia's, so he doesn't have the practice she does at dismissing eddie's attempts. he might not buy in all the way, but eventually he'd feel like more of a dick for shutting eddie down over and over than he would for easing up a bit the compulsive self-punishment he thinks he deserves. it's a war of attrition, at the end of the day, and fabian will lose. the real conflict then becomes keeping it up enough to get him to the inevitable, since i think he'd be able to see this happening and would probably get a little stubborn about it to avoid admitting he's wrong for as long as he can stand, lmfao.)

i want to develop the dynamic between nina and patricia more since i think there's a lot of potential for interesting movements there, especially in contrast to fabian and eddie (who, despite being awkward around each other, are very functional, an irony that shocks everyone involved i'm sure). i don't think they'd be dysfunctional -- if anything, i think nina might actually try extra hard to be kind and forgiving to patricia (and i've started setting that up in ch9). why? well, historically they've had a hard time trusting one another because of misunderstandings beyond their control, and while that's something that faded into the background over time, the perspective nina got from being away would make her value that sort of hard-fought trust more than trust that felt "easy" or "natural" before. patricia isn't automatically receptive to someone making that argument -- see: her entire back-and-forth history with eddie -- but nina in particular might be able to sell her on it because their original beef was so intense and so soundly overcome. and nina is also uh...a bit of a grudge holder, as well, so if she's telling you you're fine, well. i think patricia would recognize she's not bullshitting her, and she doesn't have the same sort of bias fabian (to center his own crimes as worse) or eddie (to convince patricia she's "not actually that bad") have. she has bias, OBVIOUSLY, but if anything, patricia was expecting nina to eviscerate her. that isn't to say it'd be easy -- and tbh i think they'd get frustrated with one another after the initial olive branch due to the poor read on one another's motives/feelings they're liable to have since they've both changed and not since the beginning of s1 -- but between patricia offering an alternative (and probably more useful, to nina specifically) perspective on fabian's sinner capture and nina offering an alternative perspective on patricia's struggles with trusting eddie, there's a lot of potential for a "lightning strike" moment for both of them there.

nina doesn't really? ever? comment on peddie in canon? but i feel like at this point, she'd be able to "reality check" patricia (in the same way eddie can "reality check" fabian) and actually get through to her. not too nice/soft (easy to dismiss as "not getting it"), potentially too harsh in an accidental backhanded sort of way, but patricia responds more readily to feeling attacked than feeling coddled (more familiar), and under the right conditions, i think a "mild" attack from nina "chronic inappropriate reactions" martin would encourage patricia to actually stand up for herself in a productive way. patricia acts how she wants in response to her feelings, even hurting eddie on purpose in some situations, but she doesn't "stand up for herself" in the sense that she doesn't refute people's criticisms and negative perceptions of her. "act untrustworthy to make sure no one trusts you so you can't mess up, since no one trusted you in the first place," self-fulfilling prophecy shit.

nina, someone who had to work to trust patricia and vice versa, expressing disagreement with patricia's perception of a situation (especially after expressing sympathy re: other situations) would actually shock her into defending her own position out of spite (IRONY ALERT) and manifest as true self-defense vs. rejecting what she sees as "pity." that self-defense would be the first step to actually learning how to trust, too, because like fabian, her poor relationships with people are founded in her inability to trust herself. that disconnect makes it hard to give other people the benefit of the doubt as a baseline, so reconnecting with her own subjectivity in an earnest way would make it infinitely easier to understand other people (since she already wants to, she just can't square it with her fears in her head). basically, she trusts nina to not go soft on her, and she also doesn't think nina has a good grasp on what happened. of course, neither of them have a great grasp on it, but they'll have a better chance of finding an acceptable truth between one another when they're not letting their other baggage hold them up.

to sum up:

fabian and nina agree on patricia's circumstances in a way that will ultimately help patricia gain perspective to heal, and it sets them apart from eddie to a lesser extent. they agree on fabian's circumstances in a way that pushes them apart since they're mutually inventing proof that they're "right." this could go on for a WHILE without intervention, but between a) other people getting sick of witnessing this and b) the two of them getting exhausted with being upset with each other, something's going to give eventually. the real rub is how well they actually reconcile (ie. actually laying everything out on the table, even if it's upsetting at first, vs. doing what they have before which is make easier but incorrect assumptions until something snaps and the cycle begins again).

patricia and eddie agree on fabian's circumstances in a way that does very little to impact him but does A LOT to push them apart (since eddie can't understand why patricia won't apply the same logic to herself), compounded by them agreeing on patricia's circumstances in terms of her being the "worse problem" (proximity bias). because this is a long-standing issue between them that has basically nothing to do with nina or fabian, outside interference can go either way re: helping or hurting. (as the fic progresses, this is critical point of failure -- easily visible example: fabian doesn't want to break them up, but he doesn't want to push them together, either, re: his own feelings.)

eddie and nina have the weakest relationship with one another out of the whole group of four, and by that i mean they know each other the least well. they have a very literal special bond, but they don't know much about it, they haven't had much interaction in person in the same place, and their approaches to interpersonal issues could not be more different. as a result, their disagreements over both fabian and patricia put some strain on their ability to understand one another (especially since there's the added complication of eddie's direct experience vs. nina's lack of re: s3, and vice versa for the events of s1-s2). however, their emotional stakes in an argument with one another are FAR lower because they're less close, so they gain a lot of insight into the "other side" by hashing it out. the biggest complication is eddie's tendency to self-sacrifice for nina. he's more likely to hold back when he shouldn't, and if she notices, she won't like it. they'd end up arguing more about metacommunication (how you said something/if you aren't saying something/etc) than the actual problem at hand, tbh, which isn't helpful in and of itself, but getting tired of arguing about it could be (both for their relationship and for their relationships with the other two). once they're capable of being very frank with one another, i think they'd have one of the more stable mutual understandings of all of these pairups (which will get very fun once the poly hell REALLY gets going).

patricia and fabian, on the other hand, have a VERY long and varied history with one another, and thus would be inclined to respect one another's flawed self-perception enough to hear one another out, but they will argue about it and ultimately only be able to agree on their self-punishment being appropriate/deserved. in a vacuum, this is only going to make them worse, but they're not in a vacuum. if one of them makes progress, the other one is not far behind (with growing pains, of course) because of the nature of their feedback loop. however, long term that creates the problem of associating the now strengthened relationship they have with their darker impulses, so i anticipate guilt-for-being-close-with-you featuring more frequently as time passes.

eddie and fabian have a historical dynamic that is very uncertain/subject to change from moment to moment, but the fact that they're still roommates without killing each other, they still talk even when it's uncomfortable, and they still enjoy each other's company despite...a LOT of reasons not to in the past...is proof-through-action that missteps between them are not fatal. they don't have extended conversations about the nitty gritty of their issues (usually leaving it at "dude that sucks" or "that's not true man"), but that contrast works in their favor as a "balancing" agent. improvement and progress are rarely planned -- you do just keep going in the middle of crisis and beyond. of course, their feelings about one another intersecting with their feelings about other people makes things awkward, and they do have a fundamental disagreement about the moral questions of the year previous, but the fact that those things don't make life unlivable is extremely reassuring. learning to live with the discomfort type shit. the trust that grows there is extremely natural and "sneaks up on them" as a result.

similarly, nina and patricia have a similar "learn to live with the discomfort" theme, but the method is completely different. they do talk about stuff in the nitty gritty, but because their relationship is already based in defying one another's expectations, they're able to cut through a LOT of bullshit much faster. there's a lot of "i have no reason to lie" being thrown around here, so even though they might view each other as harboring flawed reasoning and resent the other for it, they never disbelieve that it's held in earnest -- that makes it much easier to eventually come to discard beliefs that don't stand up to scrutiny because there's far less ego involved in who is "right" and who isn't when you already got through that phase with a person. (patricia's transgressions are also far less personal to nina, so she's simply not going to be as pressed about it in the first place; patricia would be inclined to come to fabian's defense, but because a lot of nina's issue is believing the bullshit he tells himself that patricia has a lot of experience arguing with, she's in a prime position to point out to nina where she's right and where she's not re: fabian.)

i still haven't worked out who's going to end up flirting with who and when (since oh yeah by the way i updated the relationship tags <3) and that will HEAVILY impact how ^ all of that plays out (part of the reason why i wrote a lot of it in a theoretical tone despite being. in full control of the events.) but i think i'm going to leave that to a different post. lmfao