#since Stanley is just as clueless as you are

[blackkatdraws2]

The Main Character.

[Blank Scripts AU]

[heedeungism]

valentines special !

•°. *࿐ PAIRING ― riki nishimura x fem!reader •°. *࿐ SYNOPSIS ― in which riki is smitten. •°. *࿐ GENRE ― one-shot, established relationship, fluff, comfort •°. *࿐ WORD COUNT ― 2k •°. *࿐ CONTENT WARNING(S) ― mc has a flu-like sickness (so expect sick person stuff), my single ladies…you will feel more single during and after this •°. *࿐ EXTRA NOTES ― happy valentines day! mc and riki are here to make you feel single and lonely, featuring jake and shadow the hedgehog! •°. *࿐ SOUNDTRACK ― busy woman by sabrina carpenter

Valentine’s Day—you’ve decided—is the worst holiday ever.

Not because you don’t love chocolate, attention, and pink, but because you’re sick.

Of all days to come down with what you assume is some kind of deadly plague, it had to be Valentine’s Day. Not only was this probably the worst thing to happen to you behind getting cheated on with your best friend, but this is your first Valentine’s with Riki.

He has been teasing a special date since the beginning of the month, acting clueless when you question him about it and hiding things in his closet. You even tried to ask his mom and sisters, but they all refused to peep.

The year you’ve spent with Riki has been a dream. A new bouquet of flowers every two weeks, sweet texts good morning, falling asleep on FaceTime together, date nights every week that he insists on paying for. 

His efforts only doubled after graduation, the hour drive to your college campus adding miles to his Jeep like no tomorrow yet he never complains. 

He’s so perfect it’s borderline infuriating.

So perfect, that when he noticed your cough two days before Valentine’s, he told you to go to the doctor. You—being you—dismissed it as allergies.

Riki knew better than to bring that up when he was rubbing your back comfortingly during a painful coughing fit at 2:00AM this morning, too busy fussing over the tears streaming down your face. A trip to the Urgent Care and CVS (where you suffered in his car alone for a whole five minutes while he got your prescription) later and you were ordered to rest inside until the medication takes effect.

Now, you’re stuck in bed with the plague on Valentine’s Day instead of on whatever surely-amazing date he had planned and you’re pissed.

You’re sitting with your back propped up against numerous pillows, covered by your boyfriend’s biggest sweatshirt and under his duvet sleeping with ‘Derry Girls’ on his laptop while he makes you soup in the other room. There’s a trashcan full of tissues beside the bed and his black Stanley filled with cold water on the nightstand. 

He’d been trying to persuade you to drink from it all morning, sighing that it’s ‘good for you’. Unfortunately, your obstinance is only exacerbated by your sickness, and you want nothing more than a chilled can of Dr Pepper in your hand. Riki, however, refused, saying the sugar would make you feel worse. 

“I’m breaking up with you.” You had hoarsely grumbled while turning away from the spoon of cough medicine he had been holding to your mouth when you asked for a Dr Pepper. 

The cough medicine put you straight to sleep, and late morning became early evening when you woke up to your lungs trying to claw their way up your throat again. 

You’re resting your eyes when his door creaks open, and when you see him enter with a bowl of soup and a chilled mini-can of Dr Pepper with a pink bendy straw in it you blink the sleep away and slowly push yourself to sit up.

“How’s it going, baby?” He asks, deep voice so soft and gentle that you want to cry. You might.

For now you just make a face as a response, and he huffs softly in amusement, setting the bowl down on a lapdesk he pulls from between his bed and nightstand. “Horrible.”

His eyes soften at the near inaudibility of your voice, “Yeah? I’m sorry.” Once he’s got his hands empty he leans down to kiss the side of your head gently. The back of his hand presses against your forehead and he hums thoughtfully, “You’re fever’s gone down.”

“You’re letting me drink Dr Pepper?” You ask weakly, already looking close to tears.

Riki smiles softly, nodding, “I went to the store while you were sleeping to get the stuff to make your soup, thought I’d bribe you to take the medicine again after you’re done eating.”

“Only this one time.” You state with heavy eyes and a sniffle punctuating your sentence.

“I facetimed my mom for the recipe while I made it, so it shouldn’t be bad.” He says, motioning to the soup, like it’s nothing. Meanwhile, your weak and delicate state has tears falling from your eyes so fast he gets whiplash.

“That’s—so sweet.” You weep pitifully, too busy not feeling well to care that you sound like a child. 

Riki’s holding back a smile full of pure adoration as he pets your messy hair fondly, “Stop crying, baby. It’s soup.”

“I know-“ You croak, hands clumsily wiping at your face, “-but I don’t feel good and you’re being so nice to me.”

“I’m always nice to you,” He jests softly, yet you can’t help but agree. With more tears, of course. 

The soup is amazing for your sore throat and clogged sinuses, a bit bland but still tasty(you assume he didn’t want to go in heavy handed with salt). It was much better than the wretched cough medicine he forced you to take afterward, but you were allowed to wash it down with the last of your Dr Pepper this time. When he leaves the room to put away the dishes with a gentle kiss on your warm temple and a promise to be right back, you debate grabbing his laptop or acting helpless and making him grab it from the end of his bed when he comes back.

You sigh, he would probably do it without any complaints. 

And he does. When he comes back, he grabs the laptop with one hand and pulls it over to your sniffling form without you even needing to ask, “What do you wanna watch, hmm?”

Shifting over in his bed, you silently pull the duvet up to let him slip underneath and lay with you. He doesn’t hesitate to do so, but the smile on his face makes your cheeks burn even now as you press it to his chest and heave a sigh of relief. “I don’t know.”

He hums, using one hand to scroll through the options on his laptop while the other rubs gentle shapes against your back, “How about…Sonic?”

You try to hum back but it doesn’t come out, “The third one?” Hearing the chuckle under your ear, you weakly pinch his side and add, “Don’t laugh.”

“Sorry, baby.” He apologizes sweetly, though you can hear the grin in his voice. “I’ll put on your other boyfriend.”

“You’re on thin ice.”

“I’m done, I swear.” He practically giggles, and you sigh. 

Ten minutes into Sonic 3 you mumble, “I’m sorry for ruining Valentine’s.”

You feel the low hum in his chest beneath your ear, “You didn’t ruin anything, pretty girl.”

“I know you had plans for us,” You mutter, “but now you're stuck taking care of me.”

“I don’t mind, you’re cute when you’re sick.”

You don’t have enough energy to respond how you always do, and when he doesn’t hear the ‘I’m always cute’ he expects, he exhales softly. One hand traces mindlessly over your side while the other delicately moves through your hair. “We can have a redo date when you feel better.”

“Okay.”

The next two days are just as miserable as the first morning. When you find out that Riki has been skipping classes to take care of you, you try to lecture him on how important school is—but the effect is ruined by your barely-there voice. He ends up obliging you, though. The issue now has become his roommate. 

“Knock knock,” the Australian practically coos, clearly amused by your appearance all bundled up and miserable in Riki’s bed. He has a bag in his hand of what you assume is the ice cream you asked him to get, two spoons in the other that opens the door. “How’s patient zero?”

“You sound like a middle-aged white man.” Your voice is still hoarse, going in and out as you speak while the back of your throat grates painfully. “And saying knock knock is not the same as knocking.”

He has the same grin on his face as he glances towards the laptop, the Super Mario Bros Movie paused on the screen. “The Mario movie?”

“Where’s my ice cream?” You ignore his teasing question, “And Riki said you’re not allowed to be annoying while I’m ill.”

“Right, my bad.” Jake holds up his hands in mock surrender, pulling out the pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Covered Strawberry ice cream and placing the spoon on top as he holds it out, “You’re ice cream, your grace.” 

You blame the fact that his exaggerated accent almost made you snort on your weakened state, and take the ice cream with a huffed ‘thank you’. Jake pulls over Riki’s gaming chair, and you decide against telling him to go away since he really didn’t have to get you ice cream, you were gonna ask Riki if he said no anyway. But, alas, you aren't heartless. Unfortunately.

You get two minutes into the movie before he’s asking if you like Mario or Luigi more, and a few minutes later you hear the sound of Riki arriving home. Relief is an understatement with how much you were dreading entertaining Jake for the next hour, and you feel the tension in you melt away the moment he appears in the open doorway.

He acknowledges Jake briefly before his gaze softens and a smile forms on his lips as he greets you gently, “Hi.”

Pausing the movie again, you move the laptop out of his way as he approaches the bedside. You tuck one of your legs in to give him room, and he sits on the edge of the bed by you with a soft kiss pressed to the side of your head, “Hi.” 

“Feeling any better?” Riki asks, and you shrug slightly with a ‘meh’ face before putting another bite of ice cream into your mouth. His gaze flicks to the pint and his brows quirk up.

You mimic him, taking some of the sweet treat onto the spoon and holding it up to his lips. He shakes his head, and when you blink at him and continue holding out the spoon, he rolls his eyes playfully, “I don’t want you sick cooties.”

“I stopped being contagious when I started antibiotics,” you swiftly defend yourself, but take the bite for yourself anyways, “But I don’t like your attitude, so none for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Riki apologizes swiftly, though that smirk is still on his face so you decide against forgiving him. He leans over your lap, resting his weight on his knuckles on the other side of your leg, his lips brush over your cheek gently in an expression of good faith you can’t help but accept.

You hear an exaggerated sigh before you can respond, and the both of you look toward a pouting Jake. “Why are you still here?” 

Your question has his pout morphing into a grin, “Entertainment.”

The look on your face must be withering enough for him to concede, standing with his unfinished pint and walking backwards towards the open door, “Okay, okay, I’ll leave….” The moment Riki’s door closes, his focus is back on you.

“Does the ice cream help?” He asks, and you nod.

“Kind of, not really.” You shrug slightly, “I just really wanted some.”

“So you convinced Jake to get you some?” He questions a bit teasingly, still comfortable leaning over your lap and in your space. You find yourself at ease. 

“I asked, he said sure.” You retort, “I was gonna ask you but I forgot what time your classes ended today.”

He hums, unable to stop himself from pressing another sweet kiss to your other cheek, then another on your jaw, “There’s another pint in the fridge. I stopped on the way home.”

Your eyes close with a sigh, leaning into his kisses and meaning it when you say, “I love you.”

You feel him smile against your skin, and hear his soft chuckle in your ear before he pulls away just enough to look at you again. Then, he leans in one more time to press a kiss to your chilled lips and says it back a breath away from them.

 “I love you, too.”

©heedeungism : do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

r you still open for requests? if so and if you havent done this, stan twins taking care of reader on their period? im on my period rn and i lowkey am craving for it,, /nf!!

❥ Stan & Ford taking care of you on your period headcanons <3

a/n: oh anon this one's for you and for everyone dealing with the struggle right now <333 may ur cramps be mild 🙏

STANLEY

★ “what do you mean you feel like garbage?? you were fine an hour ago! what happened?? who do I have to fight??” and when you explain, he just. OH. THAT.

★ “okay, okay, don’t freak out, but,” he digs around in some closet and pulls out a very old hot water bottle. “this thing got me through some rough winters. i hope this will, uh. . . stop the angry uterus thing.”

★ if anyone (Soos, Dipper, some poor clueless tourist) makes a dumb joke about “mood swings,” Stan will protect you. “oh, you think that’s funny? let’s see how funny it is when I lock you in the Mystery Shack bathroom for a week with no toilet paper!”

★ will not let you lift a finger. so worried about your state he physically shoves you back down if you try to do anything. “nope. nope, nuh-uh, baby, don’t even think about it.”

★ if you're dying from pain and nothing helps, he just holds you close while dramatically saying “oh sweetheart, if only nature was FAIR, it’d be me bleeding instead! why this world is so unfair????”

★ of course he buys you snacks. SO MANY SNACKS. he heard somewhere that chocolate helps, so now he’s bought four different brands of cheap chocolate bars from the gas station

“uh, i got these. one of ‘em’s gotta be the magic one, right?”

★ “old man Mcgucket says bark tea fixes everything. should we. . . should we try bark tea?”

★ once Stanley pulled out a beer and immediately regretted it. “. . . wait, no, that’s for me.”

★ ofc he cooks for you. he’s a big believer that food fixes all things, even if he doesn’t understand the science of it. makes you the heartiest, greasiest, most filling meal he can. you might not even want it but it’s the intent. it's the love. (and if you actually ask for something? he’ll make it with no hesitation)

★ you look even slightly like you’re in pain?? immediate concern. hunched over? “alright, that’s it, you’re going on the couch.” he literally herds you over with his hands on your shoulders, forces you to get comfortable. “c'mon, c'mon, up ya go. feet up. blanket on. there ya go.”

★ lovingly teases you when you cry over dumb stuff, but only a little. “you're cryin’ over a commercial? sweetie, c’mon.” wipes your tears anyway. kisses your forehead after.

★ grocery store trip. Stanley standing in the feminine hygiene aisle, he calls you from the store like, “baby, what the hell is ultra-thin? why are there WINGS on these? you gonna fly away or somethin’? :(”

★ i have a feeling he'll get the wrong ones. Stan comes home proud of himself only for you to be like Stan these are panty liners. he’s FLABBERGASTED. “they were in the same aisle!! they had the same stupid pink packaging!!”

★ eventually, he settles into his caretaking mode, ruffles your hair, makes bad jokes to make you laugh even when you feel awful. if you get emotional from the hormones he panics a little but ultimately just lets you cry on his shoulder and pats your back

★ mutters “alright, where’s it hurt, lemme at it.” then massages your lower back, rubs your stomach clumsily but gently. Stan is determined to physically get rid of your pain somehow even if that’s not how it works

★ makes you rest by putting on a movie and forcing you to stay put. he picks the weirdest mix of old action flicks, crime shows and one sappy romance he swears he doesn’t like. (he totally does.)

★ if you’re in pain he's gonna fix it. but since he can’t punch your uterus, he does the next best thing. distracts the hell outta you. "alright, sweetheart, what’s it gonna be? poker? tall tales? let's watch duck detective?”

you giggle. “Stan, just cuddle me.”

“oh, yeah, you got it, c’mere.” immediately pulls you onto his lap, wrapping his big arms around you, rocking his most precious thing in the world.

★ if you're up at 2 AM, restless from cramps, Stan notices immediately “owwh, doll, let’s getcha comfy.” guides you to the couch, sets you up with a blanket, turns on some quiet late-night TV. he stays up with you, spending sleepless night taking care of you. he sits there, rubbing your back, making sure you’re okay

in some hours more though, he falls asleep next to you, head leaning against yours

STANFORD

★ HE KNOWS BEFORE YOU DO. this man has studied interdimensional quantum phenomena. you think he hasn’t mapped out your cycle like a scientist mapping the tides???? PLEASE

“sweetheart, shouldn’t you be starting your period soon?”

“what? no?? I feel fine“ and twenty minutes later, you’re in pain

“ah. as I suspected.” Ford says

★ literally tracks it like a researcher. has a whole-ass journal with little notes. estimates symptoms, cravings, moods. he says it's because “I want to be prepared for you”.

you catch him writing in it one day. “Ford, what is that?”

he looks guilty and awkward. “a. . . documentation of your menstrual cycle?”

you take it, open it and your eyes widen. it got a whole-ass formula for predicting your moods

“wtf Ford, you made a menstrual algorithm??”

he rubs the back of his neck. “well, i wanted to ensure that i could be fully prepared for any and all symptoms—“

you’re just staring at the notes, not even listening to him. “did you seriously track that I crave sour candy more than chocolate???”

Ford pushes up his glasses. “i prefer to call it an empirical observation, yes.” next thing you do is kiss him senseless, because this nerd is the most devoted man on the planet

★ i assure you, he's already stocked up. you go to grab something and oh . . . heating pad? already plugged in. pain meds? already out on the counter. ur favorite snacks? somehow already bought. tea? brewing

★ of course! of course you'll get his lectures about periods. “did you know that menstrual cramps are caused by the uterus contracting due to prostaglandins? i read a fascinating study on ways to mitigate the pain—“ but let me tell you, he’s rambling because he’s nervous about you hurting. also because he thinks knowledge = comfort

★ his gentle hands, always. adjusting your blanket. rubbing slow circles into your back. fingertips ghosting over your forehead to check if you’re feverish

★ absolutely 100%, without a doubt, Ford takes notes on what helps you. if you ever say something like “ugh, this tea actually helps a lot” he writes that down. if you offhandedly mention “i think dark chocolate makes it better” he’s buying you ten bars of it next time.

★ he tries to keep you distracted. puts on old sci-fi movies and nerds out over them. reads aloud from a book if you want because he knows you love his voice

“did I ever tell you about the time I discovered a species that only reproduces once every ten years?” he just TALKS to you. calmly. thoughtfully. lets his voice carry you away from the pain.

★ he will stay up with you if you can’t sleep. even if he’s exhausted, even if he has research to do. if you’re in pain, he’s right there. “sleep, darling. I’ll stay up for a while. you need to rest.” strokes your hair until you do and presses a kiss to your temple when you finally drift off.

★ Ford can’t stand inefficiency. the first time he hears you complain about normal period products, he rubbed his chin, thinking. you’re uncomfortable??? with a problem that science could potentially solve???

“hmph. there must be a better way.” he disappears into his lab for hours.

★ what he makes depends on what you complain about! hate pads? “ah. they’re inefficient, bulky and uncomfortable. yes, darling, I see the flaws.”

hate tampons? “too absorbent, prone to leaking at unpredictable rates. . . fascinating, but flawed.”

cramps?? “prostaglandin-induced muscle contractions. I can work with this!”

no problem is too small. he listens to every complaint

★ “i will revolutionise menstruation, darling!” you're so proud of him. Ford is proud of himself too

★ normally, he treats you like his equal, his partner, his greatest love. but when you’re sick ohh he secretly loves having an excuse to baby you. he brings you tea and tests the temperature on his wrist before handing it over. he fluffs your pillows, tucks you in way too snug. if you groan in pain, he’s immediately alert. “what is it? what do you need? tell me, dearest, I’ll get it.”

i can't believe i wrote an entire fic from Ford's pov journaling reader's cycle, im going insane

[matrixbearer2024]

Since the poll is practically over and the outfit's largely been decided, I'll be dropping the first post to the strip challenge in a couple hours on my Ford Blog @gftimelord to christen it HAHAHHA- (psst go bother him it'll be funny HAHHAHAH) Thanks for the interaction everybody, I only hope to deliver. Here's the first drabble to start it off with since I am pairing every drawing with a story sequence as promised. You could probably think of this as my interpretation for some kind of continuation to Ford's route in "Swooning Over Stans" by @gfdatingsim since I've genuinely been non-stop playing that game since it's recommendation to me. I will balance med proper and my delulu if it's the last thing I do HAHAHAHA-

Reply to this post as well if you want to be pinged for whenever this challenge updates!

I Accept Your Challenge!

(Stanford Pines x Reader)

After you heard a new challenge becoming trendy among couples you decide to try it on a certain Stanford Pines; just... you didn't exactly explain to him what the challenge was.

Maybe his competitiveness was a good thing in this case. You at least got a bloody good show out of his cluelessness.

Another slow summer day and you were in the living room of the mystery shack alongside the Pines as they went about doing whatever. Navigating your relationship with a certain scientist definitely somewhat of a learning curve but you digressed. Similar to Dipper and Mabel, you'd receive post cards from the twins about their seafaring adventures; your mail just came with additional special letters from your beloved. All of which you'd neatly stowed away in a bag that you always had with you, no use keeping it at home when you were rarely there.

Often traveling for a nomadic lifestyle was serene and fun at times, but you found yourself missing this place. It felt more like a home to you than your own place did in the couple weeks you'd stuck around after your car got smashed into the side of the log cabin.

Who knew that the same man who totaled your car one day would be the same adorable nerd you now called your lover?

It felt a bit like those romance dramas Stan liked to watch but you quickly dismissed that thought. Fairytales weren't real, fate isn't exactly something you believed in either. Stories of princesses finding their prince charmings were mostly smoke and mirrors, things you'd tell a child to give them hope of a better world than reality.

In gravity falls however... you quickly learned that nothing was truly impossible. Never say never in this small town of Oregon.

You sat on the floor next to Dipper and Mabel as they boredly flipped through TV channels; books, papers and crayons littered about around the three of you. The glass danced with colors from the rapidly flipping images while the twins struggled to find anything even remotely entertaining to watch, you couldn't help but allow your mind to wander from the boredom.

You and Ford spent quite a bit of time since you'd arrived at the beginning of the week, frankly you'd made the trip as soon possible when Stan shot you a message that they'd finally docked to spend the summer with the kiddos. You hoped it wasn't all that obvious how much you missed Stanford, but you didn't really need to worry when he was the one who immediately swamped you up in a hug the second you were out of your car. It's only been two years thus far since you've known the man but Stanley and Mabel insisted that you stay with him in his room, you didn't know why they were so adamant until you saw the state of the man's living quarters.

A whole day was spent with the both of you furnishing and cleaning the said room because of that but neither of you complained, most of the time was spent goofing off anyway.

Now... you were wondering where Ford was, not to mention what he was doing. Was he down in the lab tinkering again? You didn't want to disturb him, but you really wanted to find him. Any time spent apart didn't feel like time used to it's full capacity, even if you did enjoy the company of the other Pines; it just wasn't the same.

At some point, you were bored enough to not necessarily care whether you'd be disturbing Ford's work or not when you went down to the lab. It was just last summer when he taught you how to get down there, as well as spilling more about his past. All of which you simply listened to unless he asked anything; it was better to listen and attempt to understand than say or do something that would make it worse.

Seems like he really wanted to get it off his chest too, be transparent with you; something you appreciated.

You were shaken out of your headspace when you heard the rustling of boxes from the lab, as well as some hushed but frustrated cursing. You didn't really recall a time Ford swore unless he was legitimately ticked off, the man made a valiant effort not to compared to his twin.

But they both had sailor mouths anyhow even if it was fitting.

"Ford? Are you down here?"

"Ah-! [Y/N]! What- what are you doing down here?"

You moved closer to him in an attempt to see what he was doing, even if the man looked a bit rattled to be found like this by you.

"What are you doing?"

"I asked first my dear."

Ford chuckled, shifting to hide something behind his back. You pouted at him and crossed your arms. He couldn't help but smile at how cute you looked doing that.

"Was looking for you, Dipper and Mabel are bored watching TV upstair anyway... sooooo- what are you doing?"

You smiled when Ford returned your inquisitiveness with a small laugh, showing you what he held in his hand. A pair of goggles?

"What's that for?"

"I was attempting to sort through which of my belongings I could still use among the ones I wish to discard. Inadvertently I ended up finding these, I think I could still make use of them."

You tilted your head at him as a silent prompt to continue, it took every bit of control from Ford not to laugh again. You looked like a curious puppy, though he figured he shouldn't say that outright.

"It's simply among the items I collected and kept with me through my time in the multiverse. Protective eyewear can be useful for many things."

"Huh, if you have that— does it mean you still have the rest of the outfit?"

Now it was your turn to think Ford was being cute, he just wordlessly blinked at you in surprise. Was your request really that odd? You'd barely seen him in any other outfit combinations, of course you'd be curious.

"I—... I think I do? Why do you ask?"

"Do you think you'd still be able to rock it like you used to?"

"'Used to'? Excuse me?"

"I mean, it's been a couple years... why don't you try it on again?"

Ford laughed once again from your teasing, the way you sassily tried to goad him on was entertaining in it's own right. He was a bit on the fence about the whole outfit however, especially due to the memories associated with it.

It's not that bad compared to some things he'd found though... maybe he could indulge you.

"Hm..."

"I-I mean, if you really don't want to—"

Your panicked stammering was cut short when a warm palm cupped your cheek, meeting Stanford's eyes as he pressed a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. He could feel your skin heat in up in his hand, hiding a cheeky smile in your hair as he held you there.

"I'll show it to you... as soon as I can find the rest of the outfit."

Ford couldn't help but smile wider when your cheerful laugh rang out; it's the best sound to ever have graced his ears in the time he's been alive. A bit surprising given how many things he's been exposed to, but he couldn't name another chime so pleasant.

"I'll hold you to that Ford."

"And I accept your challenge my dear."

YEAAAAH HERE IT ISSSS- TEXT THING CUZ WE NEED INTRODUCTION-

[aquarius-stories-and-story-ideas]

Talk over tea.

((I wrote another short story featuring Nathan, Starlla, and the characters (Black and their Stanley) created by the incredibly talented @blackkatdraws. This time the four of them are chit chatting over tea. I had to ask them for a bit more info on their characters for this. I’m glad they worked with me on this short story. I hope everyone likes this.))

“Nathan? Is the tea ready?” Asked Starlla on her smart watch. 

“Yes, dear.”

“Good! I’m almost finished setting the table and snacks.”

Both Nathan and Starlla were busy getting everything ready for their tea party. They set up a table in the middle of a forest clearing. Clouds dotted the sky. A slight breeze could be felt. Flowers decorated the ground.

Starlla dressed up for this little social event. She wore a high collar pink dress with white flats and tights. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and a pink fascinator hat with white flowers was pinned to it. She even put on a bit of makeup. 

For Nathan, he decided to wear something other than his usual fancy suit. His attire consisted of black slacks, black dress shoes, black button up shirt, and a black waistcoat with a gold swirl design on it. He had his usual gold pocket watch in his pocket. 

The table Starlla was setting up was big enough for about four people. A white table cloth was draped over it and a vase with a few wild flowers was placed on it. A three tier tray with tea cakes, macarons, and sandwiches decorated it. 

Starlla glanced up to see Nathan carrying the tea tray. They both chose a white tea set with red roses decorating it. The tea they chose was jasmine. They have a few backup teas ready just in case their two guests don’t like it. 

Nathan set the tray down on the table and looked at his pocket watch. “Black and Stanley should be arriving any minute.”

Starlla looked at him. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they came back to get your phone number.”

“Yes. I’m thankful they didn't wander around looking for me and waited at the door instead.”

Starlla grinned happily. “They’re really nice. I’m excited at the thought of making new friends!”

Nathan smiled at his beloved's excitement. “Yes. Expanding one's friendship circle is always exciting.”

“We’re here!” Called a familiar voice. The couple turned to see their guests walking up to them.

Black was dressed in a black dress shirt, black slacks and boots, black tie, and a suit black jacket with a deep red design on it. Stanley wore a sleeveless deep red dress that had black lace acting as the sleeves and collar and black kitten heels. He even wore a black sun hat with deep red flowers decorating it. 

Starlla waved at them. “Glad you two could make it.”

Black grinned. “Thank you for inviting us. It’s been a while since we’ve been invited to tea.”

Nathan pulled up a chair for Starlla. “Let’s not waste any time. The tea will cool down.”

When everyone sat down Nathan poured everyone's tea. “Thank you for coming. It's nice to be able to talk in a calmer environment.”

Stanley took a careful sip of his tea. “I agree. It was surprising to wind up in your game. I wonder how that happened.”

“I did a thorough check on everything. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I’m just as clueless as you are.”

Black snagged a macaron. “Have you asked your Time Keeper?”

Nathan blinked. “My what?”

“Your Time Keeper. You know, the person who takes care of everything behind the scenes and the settings.”

This confused both Nathan and Starlla. Time Keeper? Starlla spoke this time. “We don't have a Time Keeper. Nathan is the one who takes care of everything. It's his domain, after all.”

“Time Keeper is also one of my alternate titles for my primary job.” Added Nathan.

Black swallowed his cookie and gave the couple a puzzled look. “Primary job? You mean Narrating your game isn’t what you always do?”

He shook his head. “No. Both Starlla and I are guardians. Our job is to maintain multiple different dimensions and whatnot. One could compare us to maintenance workers. I work with time and Starlla takes care of the environment. In simple terms, we make sure everything doesn't blow up.”

Both Black and Stanley gave the opposite couple a confused look. A Narrator and his main character having another job?! They’ve never heard of that before. It was sure looking like this Narrator and female Stanley were going to be different. 

Stanley spoke up. “How do you do that?”

“Similar to how a computer tech checks the coding on a computer.” Answered Starlla. “Sometimes things get out of whack and the area and/or world needs a tune up. With so much magic being thrown around things are going to get broken. It's up to people like us to fix it.”

“What happens when things get broken?”

She took a sip of her tea. “Things start to get freaky. For example, cars coming to life and trying to eat people.”

Nathan sighed. “Yes. I remember that all too well, unfortunately. That was one big hot mess to clean up.”

Sensing the topic going down a serious route, Black tried to change the subject. “So, is that how you two met? On the job?”

The couple looked at each other. Nathan spoke. “No. The very first time we met she was a kid.”

Starlla giggled. “I remember that. Some of my classmates were tormenting me by taking away my wand. They thought they were better than everyone else because they were capable of using some basic magic without theirs.”

“Did you get it back?” Asked Stanley.

“Yes. Nathan came to my rescue and got my wand back for me.”

Black grinned. “Aw. That’s so sweet. You two were destined for each other.”

The couple blushed and Nathan took a nervous sip of his tea. Starlla giggled again. “I think so too. The next time we saw each other I was all grown up and getting myself prepared for this job.”

A curious thought crossed Nathan’s mind. “Speaking of meeting, how did you two meet?”

Black thought for a moment. “It’s kind of hard to explain. We weren’t born in the traditional sense. The two of us found ourselves in our game and that’s it. We met others like us over time and made friends.”

“You mean the two of you weren’t born, but created?”

“Exactly. All we know is that we woke up in our game. We have knowledge that a being called Kat created us.”

Nathan hummed in thought. “Interesting. I don’t hear something like that very often. You said there are others like you? How many?”

“Lots.” Piped Stanley as he grabbed a sandwich. “There are plenty of others like us. Each one is different and unique.”

This caused Starlla to grin. “That sounds wonderful. I would love to meet them.”

“One step at a time, my darling.” Said Nathan. “I really don’t want a bunch of strangers in my domain all at once.”

“We could introduce you to everyone a little at a time.” Suggested Black. “I could call or text you asking your permission to introduce you to one of our friends.”

He nodded gratefully. “I would greatly appreciate that.”

A thought crossed Starlla’s mind. “Speaking of that, if you ever want your domain checked we can do that for you. We’ll be more than happy to give it a tune up.” 

Black smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind. I think everything is fine now. But, I’ll give you a call if I think something is wrong.”

Stanley spoke next. “By the way, you mentioned something about magic earlier. What do you mean by that?”

She blinked. “Well, it’s what you just said. Magic.” She held up her hand and a pink ball of light appeared in her palm. “Like this. Both Nathan and I were born in the mystical realm. There are lots of people who are like us.” She unsummoned the ball of light and put her hand down. “Some have jobs like we do, others become soldiers, and so on.”

“Sounds like a completely different world.” Commented Stanley.

Nathan chuckled. “It is.”

Starlla lightly sighed. “It's impossibly complicated too. If one were to ask me about our history I’m not sure where to start.”

“Those stories are for another time.” Said Nathan. “Let’s dive into that when the four of us get to know each other better. Tell me, what do you two do in your spare time?”

Black shrugged. “We don't really do anything specific. When we have free time we travel to a city and do whatever. I guess we do whatever interests us during that time.”

“Living in the moment.” Mused Starlla. “I can respect that.” She grinned. “You both have such beautiful souls.”

Black, who was taking a sip out of his teacup, nearly spit out his tea. A deep, heavy, blush appeared on his face. “What? We have what?!”

She giggled. “A beautiful soul. You’re both kind and beautiful people. Both inside and out. Your souls are gorgeous.”

All Black did was continue to blush and grabbed a tea cake. Stanley, who was blushing as well, chuckled. “He’s not used to compliments like that. People tend to only compliment his appearance. Same goes for me. I speak for both of us when I say thank you.”

The woman grinned. “You’re welcome. I meant every word I said.”

Nathan smiled as well. “I agree with her. You’re both incredibly beautiful people. Mystics like us can see into a person's soul if we choose to. With that said, we don’t always need to do that to determine who is friend or foe.”

Black swallowed his tea cake and poured himself some more tea. “That’s certainly very interesting.” He took a sip. “If you don't mind me asking, why did you create your Stanley-” He looked at Starlla. “-I mean, Starlla Parable? You both sound incredibly busy. Why create your game?”

“I created the Starlla Parable as a way for both of us to relax and destress.” Answered Nathan. “I love to write and read stories. What better way to unwind than to play a game that involves me narrating a story.”

“I joined in because I also love to read and write.” Added Starlla. “Getting to be the main character in my boyfriend’s story game sounded too exciting to pass up. We always have lots of fun when we play.”

“Do you two live there?” Asked Stanley. 

She shook her head. “No. We both live in our own homes.”

Black smirked. “You two don’t live together?”

The couple both blushed heavily. Nathan struggled to speak. “No! We-we don't do that. I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But…”

“We’re waiting for marriage.” Sputtered Starlla. “We want our partner to prove their loyalty to us by marrying us before we do anything, well, permanent.”

Black lightly laughed at their reactions. “Relax you two, I was only teasing. I respect and admire your decision to wait until marriage. That’s honorable.”

Starlla took a breath to calm herself. “Thank you. I can tell you like to have fun.”

He grinned. “Who doesn’t?”

Some time passed and the two couples all chatted and enjoyed their tea and snacks. When everything was done Nathan teleported the dishes, chairs, and table away. Both Starlla and him would clean them up in a bit.

Black stretched. “That was amazing. I enjoyed that greatly. We should do that again.”

Stanley nodded. “I agree. I had lots of fun.”

Nathan smiled. “I’m glad you two enjoyed yourselves. I had a good time as well.”

Starlla nodded happily. “Me too. I’m so glad you two came.”

“Us too.” Said Black. As he and Stanley turned to leave they both waved. “Have a good night. I’ll contact you when I can find one of our friends to introduce you both to.”

Starlla waved back. “We’re looking forward to it. Have a goodnight as well and be safe going home.”

Nathan waved bye as well and turned to his girlfriend. “I’ll admit, I was thinking I wasn’t going to enjoy this. But, I was wrong. I had fun.”

She giggled. “I knew you would. You need to learn to let people in more.”

He sighed. “I don’t know about that. I’m just glad to have you by my side.”

Starlla kissed him on the lips. “Same here, my beloved. Now, let’s get everything cleaned up and have some cuddle time.”

Nathan smiled warmly at her. “I would love that, my precious darling.”

[3416]

what 1634 fics do you want to see. im not gonna write them im just curious

hello anon......... there are far too many i want to see in this world (literally any at all tbh) but conceptually i have rambled in private about a couple that i really want so buckle up... here are some cliche concepts but idc:

okay my ultimate dream fic is like a 50k fic canon compliant to this point like a decade into the future where auston's been forced to retire a few years earlier bc of a career ending knee injury and never wins the cup and basically. retreats back to az and has to cope with that and gets a Lot of distance from the team/hockey media yada yada. mitch keeps playing hockey but the leafs never win the cup and mitch never feels as fulfilled as he thinks he should be. he never has kids (could go into things here....)... separates w steph.... is on the verge of retiring himself...... the catalyst for him showing up in arizona could be a lot of random things (abt to sign divorce papers... announcing his own retirement soon... also had a whole concept of one of their dads passing away but.) but cue the reunion with someone who you built your whole younger self and younger dreams around and having to relearn the person they've become now. mitch escaping the only place he's ever really called home to really try to feel fully comfortable with himself for the first time vs auston seeing the merging of his old life and his new reality................. i mean. that's the dream. idk. post hockey life crisis with people you can't help but love forever tbh. i have rambled about variations of this one for hours before.

i'm also dying for an auston pornstar fic with a clueless like. business bro mitch or smth. everyone has done the cam boy mitch stuff thanks to his streaming but what about auston... what about these pictures... it's giving casting couch....... i don't really care about the plot necessarily... could go w mitch and auston sleeping together n then befriending each other but NOT sleeping together again for a while. could just straight up do pwp, idk, but auston's whole sleaze ball vibe sometimes.. and the mustache..... we deserve pornstar auston.

also desperate for some magical realism au where one of them makes a deal with the devil to get the team a stanley cup but it goes HORRIBLY awry bc things are never what they seem when you're making deals like that. don't have the details ironed out enough in my head to give a real plan here without sounding stupid but i want the angst and pain and realizing their priorities might not be The Ultimate Hockey Goal like they've always thought.

i've also thought about a lot about a more pwp fic where mitch and auston have this calculated shared ritual of like. getting the new guys on the team/new lineys off to ~help the chemistry~. the whole oh it's just bros thing, but mitch and auston tackling it as a team, one whispering in the ear.. one sinking to his knees... a biiit skeezy bc some of these guys would never in a million years wanna sleep with guys but they pose it like it's gonna help the team and it's just smth they do... don't you wanna feel powerful and see cocky number one goal scorer in the league am34 on his knees for you, random newcomer (haha) 4th liner???

also. thought about another magical realism fic where auston and mitch are at mitch's lakehouse high as fuck and accidentally have a wishbaby bc they're TRYING to manifest success for the team and wish on a star with the wrong wording.... also had a batshit au planned vaguely based on the hangover for mitch's bachelor party which COULD involve vgk crossover since i would set it in vegas for the vibes but.

also had an f1 fic idea where mitch was a driver and auston was one his mechanics. there was way more to this one, but realistically i'd take anything with that as a concept. mitch's life being in auston's hands to some degree and auston taking it Very seriously. also mitch treating his wins like its this shared thing and. auston is just one of tens of people who work on his car but thats his fucking GUY!! imagining mitch getting on the podium n trying to jump at the barriers to get to auston and his whole team.......... pls. also had bunts as one of the guys who changes the wheels and picturing the team letting bunts run the some of the socials. they would be fucking off in that garage BIG TIME filming themselves doing stupid silly shit in all the downtime. also. thinking abt the element of having a Secret relationship or situationship in a setting SO public like f1...... could prob turn that one into a multimedia au somehow, ANYWYA---

i've thought abt so many more too lol. this is what i let myself sit here and spew for the hour but. i'm always down to talk about more or if other ppl have ideas and need to flesh them out. i love to yap abt these men.

[the-haunted-office]

Something that is more pronounced in the Parable than it is outside of it, is the bond between a Narrator and their Protagonist.

I know I've talked about this before, but some more information on this is just how much Narrator and Protagonist kind of behavior carries over into their lives even after people who find themselves in the Parable have escaped the Parable.

There are several examples of this within the Haunted Office alone.

Cyrus remains in the control booth of the Office, where he feels the most comfortable, and where he continually feels driven to keep an eye on others and direct them around the area, particularly guests. He wasn't like this before coming to the Office and obtaining his Narrator role. Before the Office, he was reclusive, yes, but he and his sister would wander much more. They traveled. They didn't do any sort of ordering other people around or taking leadership roles - they kept to themselves almost entirely.

Thursday has always had a sort of unwitting leadership heart, but it's become more pronounced since she became a Narrator. Even though she isn't stuck in the control booth anymore, she does still take on a lot of leadership duties. She's more amphibious in that she can also slide more into a Protagonist role as well, since the Office originally couldn't decide where to place her and threw her in as a second Narrator at random. But what has carried over the most in her time since being a Narrator is just how much she feels the need to probe into other people's problems (or Narratives) and try to solve them. Thursday has a pretty much subconscious habit of taking on that Narrator role with almost everyone she meets, where (without thinking about it) she latches onto what seems to be holding them back from their "story" advancing, and then tries to come up with ways of helping them advance. This is 100% Narrator behavior. Yes, it's just in her nature to want to help people, but it's also strongly carried over from her being a Narrator, and she often does it without realizing she's doing it.

Doomsday behaves very similarly to Thursday in this manner, but her methods differ. Where Thursday might try to help someone in a more subtle way, Doomsday does it more directly and usually with more explosions. Her methods are big and loud and basically summed up as "break the narrative at all costs".

Protagonists like Stanley have behaviors that carry over as well, usually in the form of indecision. They get so used to having a Narrator telling them what to do, coming up with ideas, guiding them through areas, that after they escape the Parable, they have trouble in these areas. Suddenly they find themselves clueless and experiencing difficulty with making choices, even down to little things like choosing which pair of socks to wear. It can be a real problem for some, depending on personality and what kind of experience they had in the Parable. Some of the feistier personalities make it out better off, but some of the more demure ones? Those might take a while to get back on their own feet again.

And if you put all this together, there's a real codependency developed between a Narrator and their Protagonist. A real bond. Even after escaping the Parable, they often stick together because they are simply used to being together. And in some cases, when the Protagonist wants to leave - even if the Parable is still on and the Narrator can't leave - the Narrator has a remarkably difficult time letting go. It's painful for them to let go of someone they've been in charge of, not always in a bossy, controlling way, but often in a caring way, in the way you would be in charge of a loved one, being responsible for another person. It isn't rare at all for a Narrator to come to love their Protagonist, even to fall in love with them, and vice versa, so to be separated from them? For the Protagonist to want to willingly leave? Why, that feels like a part of your soul walking away from you. It's nearly impossible to let go. But they have to. Because holding onto them will only make them resent them. Narrators who try to hold onto their Protagonists instead of giving them freedom find this out the hard way.

[contemplatingoutlander]

I just wanted to highlight a clip from the video that doesn't deal with Barbie, but shows the constant put downs of Joe Biden's handling of the economy on right-wing media, even when the topic isn't the economy.

We wonder why Biden is not credited with economic growth by many Americans despite the fact that recently even Morgan Stanley has credited "Biden's economic policies with driving an unexpected surge in the U.S. economy."

Well, credit Fox News and other right-wing media with constantly painting the Biden administration as being a disaster for the economy.

This clip from the above video (shown in the gifs below) was actually from June 12, 2022. The Lincoln Project spliced it in there to emphasize how the right-wing media/ politicians hypocritically claim that they are only focused on "the real issues."

The "luxury issues" Rachel Campos-Duffy was talking about in the clip were guns, January 6th, and abortion. Clearly Campos-Duffy didn't think those issues were important. Instead, she used the discussion as an opportunity to put down Biden and the economy.

Those are luxury issues to think about when your, you know, economy is doing great. Joe Biden, he's just as clueless about what people are suffering through right now.

In the second gif, I love the irony of Rachel Campos-Duffy talking about how Biden is "clueless" about the "suffering" of the American people as this flashes across the screen:

But of course on Fox News, gun violence and mass shootings in this country are NOT a cause of "suffering" for Americans--but the economy always is under a Democratic president (whether or not it is actually doing poorly).

Fox News and other right-wing media will find a way--even when all the economic indicators are positive under Biden's watch--to focus on something that is not going well in the economy--or something that might go wrong in the future.

If Trump had the kinds of positive economic indicators that Biden has had lately, the right-wing media would be praising his economic brilliance. But my guess is one would never know the economy is doing well under Biden if one watches Fox News.

And since so many Americans get their news from Fox and other right-wing media, this is why Biden will never get the credit he deserves on the economy.

Betas

Today’s GOP: REAL men taking on REAL issues like checks notes a plastic doll.

[fraiserabbit]

Smudger was about to bite into his turkey club sandwich until he saw Duncan opening his mouth to speak. “What’s, er, what’s tha’ pin mean? The ‘Sylvie’ one.” Smudger slowly looked down at it, then pointedly resumed his lunch. “Oh, come on, Stanley!”

“Hey, what’d I say about calling me that?” Smudger shot a look at his co-worker.

Duncan huffed. Both men continued their lunch break in silence, all the while Duncan was glancing over at the pin he’d been so curious about. Once Smudger started cleaning up to get back to work, Duncan decided to try again. “So…that pin.”

“What? Why d’you need to know so much?”

Duncan shot his hands up. “Hey, I’m just a wee bit curious! Can’t a guy be curious?”

Smudger rolled his eyes. “She was someone I knew.” He began his walk to Duncan’s engine sitting on the other side of the yard, the Driver following close behind. “When I was stationed in France. Great kid.”

“And you got a whole pin with her name?” Duncan was now walking beside his fireman. “She must’ve made quite the impression!”

“Yes! She made those two years bearable.” Smudger laughed, fondly remembering what little time they had together. “Sylvie had quite an attitude. A lot like you, actually.” Duncan stuck his tongue out, and Smudger smiled. “I recall she wanted to be a pilot. Y’know, see the world. And one day visit me in America.”

“And is she? I mean, I think it’s been enough time since.”

At this, Smudger clenched his jaw. His smile had vanished, and his eyes focused to the front. “Let’s get back to work.”

Duncan stopped in his tracks, confused. “Why’d you…” His brows furrowed. “No! Hang on! Why’d you get like that all of a sudden?” The sudden rise in his co-worker’s voice halted Smudger in his tracks. It had also caused a few nearby workers to turn their heads. “You cannae just ignore me like that, Smudger.”

Smudger turned around, fists clenched, and marched right up to Duncan. “Can’t you just leave me alone?”

Duncan stood his ground, unflinching. “Tell me. What happened. To Sylvie.”

The altercation had caught a few more eyes. Peter Sam frantically waved a hand in front of his neck, motioning Duncan to stop talking. Sir Handel stared in awe at the audacity of his co-worker. Rusty sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It seemed Peter Sam’s attempts to shut Duncan up were in vain though.

Smudger scowled. “You don’t need that information.”

“What, didja fall out with her or something?”

“Never.” Smudger was fuming, his knuckles turning white.

“What happened? You never kept in touch? Never bothered?”

Smudger’s eyes widened, horrified. His hands were shaking. “How dare you—”

Duncan raised an eyebrow, seeming to not notice Smudger seething. “I thought you cared for this kid.”

“She was everything to me!” Smudger screamed, and a fist flew towards Duncan’s face.

---

“You’re rather clueless, aren’t you?” Peter Sam tutted, dressing Duncan’s cut lip.

“That was a disaster!” Sir Handel cackled, and Duncan shot him a tired look that tried to look menacing. “I mean, like…wow, you’re stupid!”

“You are actually the biggest fucking idiot.” Rusty commented, shaking his head.

[seconds-not-decades]

Time and Oblivion

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my long-awaited season three fic and I will be posting daily.

Warnings: Season 3 spoilers, LONG post, and cursing.

Previous | Next

Kindest Cut

~ * ~

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 16 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got seven of them.

~ * ~

Diego, Viktor, Allison, and Luther were all in the lobby bickering when a bright blue blast of energy spit out Lila, Five, and Karina. The family all shouted and jumped back when the three fell onto the floor and one another with a grunt. Lila and Karina were panting as Five groaned.

"Shit," he complained.

"Shoo!" Lila shoved Five off of her as Karina staggered to her feet and helped Five up.

"Where have you been?" Viktor questioned.

"Facing my mortality, Viktor. I don't recommend it," Five replied, stumbling some.

"You had the briefcase?" Allison pointed to it. "We've been looking for this!" She stalked over and grabbed it.

"Well, look no further. That's the last one on Earth," Five replied rather sarcastically.

Allison picked it up, looking at the tendrils of smoke rising from it.

"Or was the last one," Five finished. "Oh shit."

Allison scoffed hopelessly and threw it down.

"Yeah, that's toast," Karina stared at it and she felt Allison grab her arm, tugging her away. "Hey!" she whirled to face her.

"Now that you're back from the wonderful world of Oz, we're talking later," Allison ordered.

"Care to tell me why?"

"I need something from you, so you better be there when I find you. Alone."

"What could you possibly need from me?" Karina looked at her in disbelief.

"Later," Allison bit out.

Karina sighed. "Looking forward to it. Now will you kindly unhand me? Please and thank you."

"Don't boss me around."

"Push your fading luck with me any further and I'll gladly take a rain check on tea time," Karina threatened, feeling Allison's grasp loosen. She jerked her arm back. "You are unbelievable." She went back to Five, who was watching his sister rather coldly.

"What did she want?" he asked immediately.

Karina lifted a clueless shoulder. "Not sure yet. I'll find out later, I guess."

"If she threatens you or rumors you to do anything, Rina, I swear to God I will-"

"Stop working yourself up, Five. I can handle it," Karina cut him off calmly but sternly.

He flinched when he realized he was acting rather outlandishly towards her. "All right. I'm sorry. I just…" he trailed off.

"I know. Take a few deep breaths, okay? Can you do that for me?"

He nodded and inhaled slowly, trying to recompose himself. Then he sighed and turned to his siblings scattered around, talking.

"Hey, Chatty Cathys, quit the chitchat, all right?" he called out. "I'm calling a family meeting here."

"Ah, ah, ah. That means you too," Diego caught Lila from leaving.

"Where's Klaus?" Five asked and Luther shrugged.

Diego paused, seeing Stanley sneak past with a bunch of cleaners. "I'll be right back."

"Don't leave me with your-" Lila broke off.

"Dieg-" Five watched him race off. "Lost another. Great."

"Spit it out, Five," Allison snarled darkly.

"Oh, well, since you asked so nicely, sister mine, our little paradox brought forth a freaking Kugelblitz," Five answered coldly.

"What the hell is a Kugelblitz?" Viktor questioned.

~ * ~

Everyone migrated over to the bar.

"So this Kugelblitz, it's…?" Viktor trailed off questioningly.

"The end of everything," Five was leaning on the countertop.

"Every rock, every star, every atom sucked into a radiant black hole," Karina put in.

"Randomly collapsing matter every moment in time across all existence till nothing's left," Lila finished.

"Hate to say I told you so, but…" Five began.

"You love to say I told you so," Viktor took a drink and so did Five.

"You know, it's impressive," Lila commented. "Whoever knocked off your mums hated you all enough to end the entire universe."

"We don't know that," Viktor rather quickly remarked and shook his head, causing Karina to subtly side eye him.

"It doesn't matter who created the damn thing. We just have to kick its ass," Allison spoke up.

"Oh really? How?" Luther challenged. "Are you and Diego gonna punch it in the Kugel?"

Five was thinking over things. "The best plan is to go back in time and eliminate the paradox and destroy whatever it was that took out our mothers and stop the Kugelblitz before it starts, but we can't do that."

"Briefcase is kaput," Karina reminded him.

"And why the hell can't you just jump us out of here? Or, Karina was the Head of the Briefcase Division. Can't she just repair the briefcase or something?" Allison snapped.

Five looked at her solemnly. "Last time I tried that, we all got trapped in time. Do you really wanna risk that again?"

"And that briefcase is destroyed beyond repair. I can't do anything," Karina put in, dangerously calm.

"What's plan B?" Viktor wanted to know.

Five hesitated for a moment. Luckily, an alive but staggering Klaus appeared with Diego to save the impending awkward silence.

"Hullo, gimme that," Klaus grabbed the glass from Five.

"What happened to you?" Five was concerned, watching his brother down the drink.

"Oh, just a speargun to the chest. No big deal," Klaus was casual.

"What did we miss?" Diego went to Lila's side.

"The universe is ending, and we're all going to die," she answered breezily.

Suddenly, a blue wave of energy sailed through the air, blitzing people in the hotel lobby along the way. Everyone inhaled sharply.

"What the hell was that?" Diego questioned.

Five sighed. "That was a Kugel wave."

"Oh, it's getting worse," Karina observed.

"How long do we have?" Luther wanted to know.

"At this rate of escalation, if you factor in-" Five started.

"How long, Five?" Luther shouted, cutting him off.

Five looked at him in surprise, faltering some. "Four, maybe five days before the rest of existence is blitzed," he sighed.

Allison shook her head. "Meet me here tonight," she eyed Karina and stormed off.

"Great," she muttered in irritation, watching her leave.

"We should've given them Harlan," Luther lamented.

"Luther," Viktor sighed in exasperation.

"What about Harlan?" Diego questioned.

"The Sparrows said if we turned him over, we could end the fighting, and then work together to save the world. But if we didn't-" Luther began.

"But we tried to make peace," Viktor cut him off. "Okay, and then the step-siblings from hell attacked, kidnapped you, and they tried to kill us. I mean, come on. We can't trust them. Working together would be like trying to defuse a bomb by pouring gas on it. It's only gonna make things burn down faster."

"But don't we need the big bad glow-y thing in their basement?" Klaus spoke up, causing Five and Karina to turn to him.

"Klaus, do you know where the Kugelblitz is?" Five asked.

"Oh, yeah. I saw it," Klaus dramatically gasped. "When I went to visit Dad. It's in the old storage room where Mom used to keep all her luggage."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Diego exclaimed.

"I did! I told you!"

"You say stupid shit all the time!"

"Of course. It appeared in the same place we did," Five looked at Karina.

"…Important stupid shit," Diego continued.

"That's not your fault? I'm inside your brain, pulling levers and stuff?" Klaus remarked as Viktor sighed and left. "Serious…"

"You don't think the Kugelblitz…" Five trailed off as Karina and Luther went after Viktor.

"Hey, Viktor, wait up," Karina spoke up from behind him.

"Why are you protecting this guy, huh? It's like Peabody all over again," Luther added.

"Harlan is nothing like Leonard," Viktor remarked.

"Well, he's clearly got some kinda hold over you. Stop covering for him."

"Covering what?" Five came over, standing next to Karina as the others sauntered over. "What's going on?"

"He didn't mean to hurt anyone," Viktor sighed.

"Really? You mean, when he did this?" Luther pointed to the cut on his face.

Stanley winced. "Ow!"

"Wait, Harlan did that?" Five questioned.

"That's it, I'm gonna end him," Diego threatened.

"I admit this is kind of déjà vu, but, let him talk," Karina suggested. "Gosh, everyone here just loves to jump to conclusions."

"Heh, good one," Lila smirked.

"Look, I know how it looks, but Harlan didn't ask for this," Viktor defended him. "If we hadn't gone back to 1963, if I hadn't have saved him-"

"He killed Jayme and Alphonso, not you," Luther interrupted. "He's the reason we're in this mess, and he's our only way out of it."

"Luther's right," Five agreed. "If we're gonna have an iota of a chance of getting out of this alive, we need access to the Kugelblitz."

"There's only four of them left. We can just overpower them."

"What, and risk losing some of us in the process?" Five remarked. "Harlan is insignificant."

"You told me once that no one is insignificant," Viktor pointed out boldly and Five glanced down, obviously hurt. "They'll kill him."

"Uh, so?" Lila piped up. "We are talking about one person versus saving billions of lives here, yeah? I mean, is this really a debate for you people?"

"Hey, Little Britain? You don't get a vote," Viktor snapped.

"Lila lives in this universe too, so, I think she does," Karina put in.

"Besides, she's family now. Kinda, sorta," Klaus added.

"Mm. Thanks, kittens," Lila smiled at them appreciatively.

"I don't give a shit about the Sparrows, but I'm not gonna let scary-ass Grandpa finish you off," Diego protectively told Viktor.

"Five days ago, he was just a little kid. And what? Now I'm supposed to just decide whether he lives or dies?" Viktor pointed out. He looked at Karina. "You were the one who united everyone to help me save him. Why are you not wanting to save him again now?"

"Because circumstances were different and so were our stakes. I'm sorry, I really am," Karina returned gently and she felt awful for him.

"Viktor, we're down to ethical triage here, all right? We can't save everyone," Five backed her up, but his voice was soft and rather sorrowful. "The kindest cut wins."

Luther stepped forward now. "You always wanted to be on the team. This is what it is. Saving the world means making the hard calls."

Viktor looked down. "I hate this," he admitted.

"Yeah, I know. I'll go get him," Luther began to walk off.

"Wait, no," Viktor looked at him. "Let me do it. He trusts me."

~ * ~

While Viktor went to go retrieve Harlan, Karina went back upstairs and saw Allison waiting for her at a high top.

"Good. You remembered," Allison crossed her arms.

"I don't think I had much choice," Karina returned.

Without saying a word, Allison picked up the dead briefcase and dropped it at her feet.

"You have got to be kidding me. This is the level you've stooped down to?" Karina was exasperated.

"The same applies to you. You are aware of how these briefcases work, right? So, I believe we should get started."

"On what? Allison, we need to stop going around in circles. So, please just tell me what you need from me."

"I want my husband and my daughter!" Allison nearly yelled.

Karina leaned away from her. "Do you understand what you're asking of me is practically impossible?"

"Don't give me that. You are capable of repairing these. What's holding you back?"

"Okay, here we go," Karina sighed. "Look, let me break down exactly what you don't understand."

"What I don't understand is why you won't help me!"

"It's not a matter of me not helping you, it's a matter of me not being able to help you. You are mistaken in thinking that I have the ability to change time or reality. It's. Not. Possible."

Allison looked like she was about to explode. "Why not?"

"Ray is from the 1960s, in Dallas. He's from the past, decades ago. Claire is from 2019, the old 2019. With the 2019 as it was once known, there is no guarantee Claire would be here if Ray were transported to the present. In reality, she most likely wouldn't exist. In fact, she probably wouldn't exist. That's because you didn't marry Patrick. Who knows how your marriage to Ray might be affected if you brought Claire with you to the 1960s," Karina was attempting to maintain her composure. "It appears that you want me to merge timelines. Unfortunately, we have no control over that. The purpose of the briefcases I built was to transport people to a specific event at a specific time in a continuous timeline. They weren't built to screw with timelines. Only take you to them."

"This is unbelievable. You are unbelievable. How do you know for sure that any of this wouldn't work?"

"Consider this in chronological order and then tell me it doesn't make sense. Firstly, the grandfather paradox. Your mother is dead, therefore you do not exist which means that Claire does not exist. Back in Dallas, you marry Ray. Ray comes with us to the present. Claire does not exist, because you never had her with Patrick," Karina explained. "Or, suppose your mother is still alive. In this scenario, you have a doppelgänger who is probably living a completely different life. And who knows the details of Patrick's life? The Umbrella Academy doesn't exist, because of the Sparrows. Since you've never met Patrick, Claire cannot exist. The timeline was changed when Sir Reginald decides to adopt the Sparrows instead. If you are looking for someone to blame, blame him!"

"Well then, make the briefcase take us back to 1960s, Dallas so that we never met Dad!"

"I don't know if that would work. This is reality. Our actions have consequences and we don't get to restart things just because we made a mistake. If I continue to play around with time, who or what knows what will go wrong next!"

"Easy for you to say, at least you have a husband! Do you have any idea how much Ray meant to me?" Allison shot. "He saved me. Me, a black woman, dropped in Dallas and not able to use my voice for a year. You've never experienced being helpless and without a means of self-defense. Given that Five has been essentially glued to your side, you've had it easy."

"I've had it easy? I'm sorry, but when did this become a trauma-dumping competition?" Karina shot back. "In fact, I do know what that feels like and I know it's very unpleasant and terrifying. I didn't experience it in the same dreadful, unfair circumstances as you, but I understand how you feel. I apologize once more, Allison, but there is nothing that can be done to help you. Have I been clear?"

Allison stared at Karina with a clenched jaw. "Why can't you at least try to do this?"

"Do you not think I haven't?" Karina bit out. "Because I've tried, believe me. In my picture perfect timeline, I'd have my parents and Five. However, that's not possible. Think of things this way. My mother wouldn't have met her ex-boyfriend if I had gone back in time to prevent my Dad from being involved in that car accident, and the Handler wouldn't have come after me with the excuse to help my family out. I also wouldn't have met Five in the apocalypse or worked for The Commission if the Handler hadn't pursued me. Don't you see? It has a cascading impact. All of it collapses if one component is out of alignment."

The silence between the two was deafening. Allison stared down at the ground, tapping her foot.

Karina sighed and started to move away slowly. She stopped and turned to face Allison. "You know, we would have acted differently if someone had informed us this was going to happen."

"Do you regret coming here?" Allison eyed her.

"Life's full of regrets. I've come to the conclusion to just stop paying attention to them," she replied dully. "It's just a matter of living and learning now."

"I can't believe you'd do this to me. You won't even attempt to fix this briefcase, are you serious?"

Karina sighed tiredly. "It's damaged beyond repair, even for me. For the record, I just returned from The Commission, and it was totally destroyed. So, before you continue to bite my head off, I don't have any material to even know where or how to begin." She looked at Allison sadly. "If what you wanted was possible, Ray and Claire would already be here. I'm sorry it had to come to this."

"Oh, believe me. You will be sorry later," she threatened. "I don't need to hear your pitiful justifications any longer because you are denying me the happiness I so well deserve after aiding your sorry ass with trying to stop two apocalypses. More than everything else in the world, I loved them, and now that they're gone, my life is a living hell."

Karina shook her head and left without another word.

~ * ~

Later on, she found Five, Klaus, and Luther near the bar.

"There you are. I was wondering where you were," Five greeted as Karina started making herself a drink.

"Well, here I am," she flatly remarked.

"What happened with Allison?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Are you okay?"

"Ask me that again after I've had about ten of these," she held up a shot of vodka.

Five slowly took her wrist, lowering her arm. He gently plucked the shot glass out of her hand. "That bad, hm?"

"She's being unreasonable. However, in her defense, she's grieving and she's in unimaginable pain, not to mention experiencing a lot of unresolved trauma. I'm not going to hold that against her. In fact, I understand that she needs to process all of it. She's just lashing out on the wrong people," Karina mumbled.

"She'll come around. I hope," Five leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Viktor suddenly appeared, catching everyone's attention. Though he was alone and Karina looked at him sympathetically, automatically knowing what happened.

"Hey," Five said. "It's time. Where's Harlan?"

"He's gone," Viktor lied.

"You let him go, didn't you?" Luther guessed.

"Harlan's death is not gonna stop the Kugelblitz. It's just gonna be another tragedy on a tragedy, and we can find another…I will find another way," Viktor tried to explain himself as Five turned his back, scoffing in disbelief.

"Well, congratulations, Viktor," Luther chuckled bitterly. "You managed to destroy everything. Again." He scoffed.

"I really thought you were smarter than that," Five looked at Viktor in disappointment.

Viktor sank some as he glanced at Karina, hoping that maybe she would support him after all.

She sighed. "You just made a very risky move, Viktor. And your move is going to come with a price I dearly hope you are willing to pay," she softly spoke.

"You know, out of everyone, I would have thought you'd be the most understanding. Thanks for proving me wrong," Viktor just shook his head and left.

Five and Karina watched him leave sadly.

Klaus scoffed and clapped. "Well!" he jumped off the chair. "That went great!" he sighed.

Five led Karina back over to the bar and the two sat down. Klaus strained some as he got some glasses and a bottle of liquor.

"There," Klaus said after he poured them some.

"Thanks," Five returned. He glanced down. "I saw my future self die," he announced.

Klaus gasped. "That's crazy. Almost the exact same thing happened to me. But I didn't die, but I did, but…"

"He told me not to save the world to save my world. And then he died. I don't know," the two boys vented over one another as Karina just dully listened to them.

"What do you think he meant by that?" Five asked Klaus, letting his hand rest on Karina's back.

"Well, shouldn't you know?" Klaus returned as Five said, "Shouldn't you know about your-"

"Okay," Five decided to let it go.

The three held up their glasses.

"Well, up your ass," Klaus toasted.

"Salut," Five gave him a look before the three downed the drinks.

"Well, that was a productive conversation you two just shared," Karina poured more liquor for herself.

"Five, your wife is broken!" Klaus announced dramatically, making him nearly choke on his drink.

"I'm not broken. I'm just…" she sighed. "I feel guilty that I can't help Allison get her loved ones back and I feel bad for Viktor being put in the impossible position of betraying his friend who saved him from the Sparrows. Not to mention it was literally days ago he was the one that needed saving." She looked down. "I guess that's what I get for trying to always please people."

Five sighed. "Rina, my love…this family is all sorts of screwed up. As screwed up as time itself, to be honest. Just because you kept the peace in this family once, doesn't necessarily mean you'll keep it twice. Okay? Don't take any of this personal. You know what needs and has to be done. Don't let their reactions cloud your judgment."

"Thanks, I'll try," she muttered flatly. "Continue on?"

"Are you sure? We're here to listen."

She shot him a look.

"Okay, okay," Five took a deep breath. "Well, we've dedicated our entire lives to stopping the apocalypse. Apocalypses, plural," he sighed as Klaus looked at him. "And he tells me…"

"Mmhmm?" Klaus prodded him on.

"That it's…it's, what? It's meaningless?"

"Oh, well, I don't know anything-"

"Maybe that's his way of saying not to become him, but…" Five sighed again.

"Oh, you're really messed up about this, huh?" Klaus looked at him. "In fact, both of you are really messed up about your issues."

Five sighed as Karina nodded silently. "I've cheated time so much, I guess I just figured I'd somehow cheat death," Five admitted. "But it turns out, I die a one-armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design."

"Spoiler alert!" Klaus gasped.

"Not to mention the trashy tattoo," Five slipped out the slab of flesh from his suit jacket pocket and slapped it onto the table.

Klaus gasped. "Ugh! Is this your skin?"

"Can't believe you carried that around in your pocket for this long," Karina wrinkled her nose.

"I'll be damned if I go out with an old man tramp stamp," Five muttered.

Klaus gasped. "If you don't wanna end up like this guy, why don't you just do something completely different? Completely different! Move upstate with Karina, become alpaca farmers."

Five and Karina shared a look.

"I do like alpacas. They're very cute," Karina perked up from that some, which made him smile.

"Yeah, we could if you wanted to, my darling," Five thoughtfully mused. "The timeline's malleable. We've proven that much. We could try and break the cycle, but-"

"Yeah, sure," Klaus interrupted. "Just keep your arms and extremities away from sharp objects, and don't join the Mothers of Agony."

"What?" Five and Karina questioned at the same time.

"The tattoo," Klaus answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's the symbol of the biker gang, the Mothers of Agony."

"You know them?" Five picked up the skin.

"Like two timelines ago, they were uh…how do I put it? My farmacistas," Klaus said.

"You used to go to a-you know what? I don't even want to know," Karina shook her head.

"This is good," Five got up from his chair and she did too.

"'Cause you know-" Klaus continued.

"Thank you, Klaus," Five told him.

He took Karina's hand and blinked both of them out.

~ * ~

The two reappeared in front of a place filled up front with bikes. They passed by people eyeing them closely as Five pulled Karina closer to his side.

The couple went inside the dark building. Loud music played and they got even more stares now. Cigarette smoke filled the air.

"What you doin' here, baby?" a man asked Karina and she pressed herself against Five even more.

"I'm not liking this," she whispered to him as they crossed the room.

"I know. I've got you," he returned.

"Are you lost, kid?" a woman questioned.

Five eyed a door with a symbol on it. He pushed it open and the two went into the dimly lit room. Underneath the light was a man getting a tattoo by a very familiar figure.

"Been looking for you," Five spoke up.

The tattoo artist turned, revealing himself to be the one and only Pogo.

~ * ~

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts

I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.

I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!

I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!

I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.

THE DRILL PRESSES!!

LEX AND ETHAN

I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.

Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.

WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!

That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!

KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.

Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig

UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!

Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.

I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.

Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?

TONY GREEN

Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.

Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.

Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy

Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl

JAIME IS JANE

OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.

Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.

Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.

GREENPEACE GIRL

Tom does look like a creep ngl

Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.

No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.

Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP

Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.

Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.

I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.

Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.

Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?

Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.

DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?

Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?

This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.

KENDALL'S SINGING

I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet

Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.

JAIME'S RANGE OMG

"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?

DON'T GIVE HER BEER

Duke seems chill. I like him.

LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!

Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?

Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?

How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.

Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been

Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES

How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!

Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.

OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.

Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.

There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.

Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.

THE STARLIGHT THEATER

Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.

CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.

"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.

WIGGLY

What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?

Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.

Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!

Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.

HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE

But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.

DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down

YAY MORE DOLLS

NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL

Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.

ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.

MARIAH IS WEBBY

This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.

So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.

Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.

Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.

MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK

AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF

This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.

I love this episode.

Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicMas2020 Day 1: Anathema

It’s that time of year again - when I bombard you with fic I’ve written over the year and haven’t posted, whether it is an outtake, part of a WIP, or something that ended up going sideways but still had some cool bits I was proud of. 

Everything will be tracked under the ‘TwiFicMas2020′ and ‘FicMas2020′ tags. Most fics are incomplete scenes - “--” is a scene break, “//” means that there’s a cut - it’s probably not yet written. 

--

First up is Anathema, the fourth or fifth attempt at the ‘Alice works in a mortuary/funeral home’ idea that refuses to solidify itself - though I think I’m getting closer. I enjoy the idea that Charlie Swan is in on Forks’ secrets (before Jacob strips in front of him, lol) and I am always here for the supernatural world being more than just vampires and shifters. 

I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

The day the Cullens arrive in Forks, two things happen.

The first, I draw both Death, and the Wheel of Fortune. A combination that, frankly, sounds time-consuming. I lie in bed and contemplate them for awhile. The cards are soft, from lifetimes of passing from hand to hand (my dearest and most beloved Great-Aunt Jeanne passed this set to me when she died. At the time, I was too young to understand the true gift in cards that had never before been touched by Brandon hands - before mine.) The cards are illustrated so carefully, so detailed. They smell like dried lavender and the scrap of linen that I wrap them in, and there is something so reassuring about each and every card.

I draw my cards every few days before I get up. I find it calming, the shuffle of them against my fingers, as I let my dreams fade. It’s a quiet time, and one I savour.

Eventually, I do have to get up, though. No rest for the wicked. The cards go back into the wooden jewellery box some young man carved for some young woman in Jeanie’s family long before I was even a glimpse of a thought, and back into my nightstand drawer.

I - we - live on the first floor of the Brandon Funeral Home, a perfectly respectable converted Georgian house at the end of Main Street, where it sweeps around to Cedar Road. It’s a shit place to have a corner, and more than once speed racers have spun out; whoever’s scraped off the road and our front walk usually end up in the freezers in the basement.

But I digress.

Breakfast is mundane. Dulcie is there, hair in curlers, and a frown on her face when she realises I am not dressed. I sit crosslegged across two thrift-store chairs in my camisole and booty shorts, spooning jam onto toast with the precision of a good scientist and ignore her reminding me of my dressing gown (a sturdy pink-flower print flannel that is buried in my closet. My preferred robe, a thin grey kimono, is currently in my laundry pile) and ‘common decency’, as if my elderly great-uncle is looking to leer at the decided lack of anything I have up north or down south.

Dulcie is… Dulcie. No replacement for Aunt Jeanie, but a good woman. I find it funny that Uncle Freddie is an old man now, and he still reels ‘em in. Or he would if Jeanie’s death hadn’t broken, shattered, and wrecked him. Dulcie worked for us for a few years before she set her eyes on the top bedroom and changing ‘Dulcie Dunn-Stanley’ to ‘Dulcie Brandon’.

Oh, that sounds very jaded. It’s mutual, Freddie and Dulcie. Their courtship was glacial and it’s really only recently that Dulcie’s been hinting about heading to the court house. And, honestly, whatever makes Uncle Freddie happy. Dulcie’s kind to me, we mostly get along, and her attempts to mother me are so far inconsistent - but she is usually pretty respectful.

My uncle lingers over his food; he’s got a new book open at his elbow, and no one can pry my uncle away from his books. They’re usually hardcover, non-fiction. Most of the boxes stored in the third floor are my uncles books.

After breakfast, I am banished to get dressed for work, which is in the basement today, where I am to be the hands as we prepare one Lewis Fletcher for his Saturday morning funeral. There’s a sack of bagged organs resting in the chest cavity, from the autopsy (elk or deer attack, the report says), and I get to stitch Lewis back together, get to fill him full of chemicals, seal things with putty, and get to face painting. The Fletchers are a pretty ordinary family locally, and the service will be simple - they were very agreeable when Freddie met with them last week.

I put my music on and hum as I prepare my kit. It’s no secret that an unqualified teenage girl doing this work probably breaks a lot of laws, but Freddie’s hands aren’t as steady as they used to be, and he’s old enough to remember when a family business meant that the younger generation was trained by the older at home, no degrees or certifications necessary.

Sometimes I wonder what Jeanie would have thought, me working down here like this. Would she have understood? Would she have been mad or upset or disappointed?

We’ll never know.

Freddie fetches us both a cup of tea, and hovers at my shoulder as I piece together Mr Fletcher’s chest cavity.

“Smaller stitches, Alice,” Freddie says, inspecting my work carefully. “Redo that section, stitch closer together, and small stitches.”

I nod, turning around to grab a scalpel from the tray beside me to cut the wonky stitches free and start again, and I freeze as the ice-cold feeling envelopes me. No, no, no it’s been so long…

For a moment, I am unfixed in time and space. I am still in the basement, with the buzzing fluorescent lights, and smooth metal drawers and cupboards, the stink of formaldehyde. But instead of a clean, bare second table, I am lying there. But I’m not dead, and I’m not alone. It’s him. The boy - man? - I’ve been seeing for so long, in visions and dreams. He’s hovering above me, a veritable sculpture of pale flesh as he peels off his shirt, our mouths still fused together, my hands gripping his hips. I am a much less collected figure, with my tights around my knees, one shoe still on and my shirt hiked up over my bra. Vision-Me pulls away to say something, and He laughs, and it’s then the light catches his eyes. Dark gold.

Golden-eyes.

“Oh fuck,” Real-Me says, and somehow Vision-Him knows I’m Seeing and looks right at me, where I’m standing with a scalpel in my hand.

“Alice?” My uncle’s hand on my shoulders brings me right back to the right point in time and space.

It’s at the point I hit the floor, manage to stab myself quite viciously with the scalpel and my uncle starts cussing.

It’s been a while between visions.

//

The Council was basically the reason Freddie and I stayed in Forks. It was a fifty-fifty split between honouring Jeanie’s wishes, and keeping me safe and out of sight - as if my aspirations were towards a Vegas nightclub act or international pop star. I wasn’t entirely clueless.  

Forks was built in a special place. A place where the barriers between the ordinary and the extraordinary were a little thinner, where the supernatural were drawn to. Jeanie had theorised that was why the Quileute were able to tap into their spirit wolves so easily, and why the gene remained so strong, father to son without a constant presence of their enemies. I didn’t know enough of their history to have an opinion, but Forks was definitely a place with an interesting history that very few people knew - even I only knew a fraction of everything that happened, past and present. There were very few written accounts; most of the histories were oral and passed down on a strict need-to-know basis.

The Council were definitely in the know, and had been for generations. There was Billy Black, Sue and Harry Clearwater representing the Quileute tribe, there was Charlie Swan representing Forks and everyone not in the know, and there was Freddie and I. Freddie, was technically Jeanie’s representative, and was the Mediator between the Ordinary and the Others. Jeanie’s family had been Mediators for generations, but she’d never had children, so all of that had somehow fallen onto Freddie - and me.

It was extremely useful to have the Police Chief and a Mortician working the Council - we’d had to fudge more than a few deaths. There was always someone or something passing through the Olympic Peninsula, and we’d negotiated, challenged, threatened, and banished more than a few creatures over the last few years.

Technically, all parties were allowed to bring their apprentice representative, but I was the only one of the next generation who attended. Charlie Swan had made it clear he didn’t want his daughter involved in any of this, and both Billy and the Clearwaters had decided that their kids were too young to know exactly what went on around here. I figured in a decade or so, it would just be me, Seth, and Jacob Black (no way would Leah hang around just for this shit show), drinking beer in the woods and deciding whether to burn or bury.

But tonight’s meeting was Special. Despite the fact I’d been drawing nonsensical cards for days now - the Star, the Tower, and Justice - no visions had appeared beyond a dream about a locket with ‘W’ engraved on it. I’d expected a fairly normal meeting, until Freddie had let me in on the plan - we were, apparently, meeting with the Cullen family. No one had informed me exactly what or who the Cullens were, only that they had a ‘fourth seat’ in the Council that they’d been entitled to since the ‘30s. I’d have to go through Jeanie’s diaries again - there were boxes of them in storage, and Jeanie had useful tidbits dotted throughout.

So that was why I was in the forest with my grandfather, shivering underneath two coats and in my new fleecy boots, standing around a fire pit that didn’t really do much more than illuminate the burning wood; the lanterns we’d brought were more effective.

Some days I really wished Leah or Seth or Jacob Black would attend these meetings; they’d certainly liven up these meetings a bit.

“They’ll be here soon,” Billy Black said grimly. Billy Black had it worse than the rest of us - getting out to this part of the forest was awkward and time-consuming with his wheelchair. Since these meetings were clandestine, we couldn’t build a proper track.

“The terms are staying the same?” Charlie asked, sipping from a paper cup of coffee Sue had pressed on him.

Billy frowned. “We aren’t here to renegotiate, but we will listen to their petition if they have one,” he said finally.

“What are the existing terms?” I asked, nudging a mossy rock with my toe.

“We’ll go over that later on, Alice,” Freddie said, watching the woods carefully.

Fine, obstruct my completely transparent attempt at finding out what was actually going on. I was definitely intrigued by the idea this clan had a ‘seat’ at the Council, but it involve negotiations? The only creature I could think of that would fit that kind of profile would be some kind of shifter.

I was bored.

And then the mysterious Cullens arrived.

They came out of the woods like a mist; slowly but all at once. They kept a respectful distance away from the fire pit, clad in pristine new clothing that was a touch too light for the cold weather but was good quality. There were three of them - a blond man, a brunette woman, and a red-haired boy - all three of them taller than average, and pale as snow. And they were lovely, as if Grecian statues had climbed down from their plinth and wandered off.

“Hello,” the man said, nodding at us politely. “Thank you for welcoming us to this meeting.”

“You’ve a right to be here, as outlined in the treaty,” Billy Black said sternly. “This is the current Council - Charlie Swan for Forks. My self, Billy Black, and Harry and Sue Clearwater for the Quileute tribe. Fred Brandon as Mediator. Carlisle Cullen for the Cullen Coven.”

Coven meant vampires. That dampened my spirits a little; my history with vampires was messy. Plus the few vampires that had ventured into this area had been unpleasant experiences. But as I stared at the Cullen coven, I noticed their eyes.

Golden, like liquid light.

Was He one of them? Was the Cullen coven only these three, or where there more?

“And the young lady?” Carlisle Cullen said, looking in my direction.

“My niece,” Freddie said in a no-nonsense tone. “Shall we begin?”

“I assume Ursula Altis has since passed? My condolences to her family,” Carlisle Cullen said. “I had a great respect for Ursula.”

“Yes. Ursula’s apprentice passed on several years ago, and she named Fred and Alice as her successors,” Harry said.

“I am sorry for your loss,” Carlisle Cullen nodded at Freddie and I. I half-smiled back at him. Jeanie had been gone a long time but I still missed her.

“This is my wife, Esme, and my oldest son Edward,” Carlisle gestured to his two companions.

“Oldest son?” Charlie Swan said sharply.

“Yes - I have three others, but we did not want to overwhelm you,” Carlisle said. “They are here, if you would like to meet them?”

“Yes. We want to know the entirety of your coven,” Harry said bluntly.

Carlisle grimaced and nodded. “Of course. My other children - Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper.”

Three more Cullens materialised from behind Carlisle Cullen - a tall blonde girl who was utterly breathtaking to look at, had a displeased expression, and was wearing the genuine designer version of my knock-off winter coat. The second was a bear of a man, with the friendliest face, and curly black hair, who winked at me as he wrapped an arm around the blonde girl’s shoulders.

And then a lanky blond boy with a dark expression and wavy blond hair, who hovered in the shadows, his features mostly obscured. All of them had the same golden eyes, the same pallor and dark under-eye circles. But they didn’t look or behave like other nomads that had passed through. They looked… like a nice family.

Maybe in a decade, Jacob, Seth, and I would be joined by Emmett Cullen for the ‘burn or bury’ booze up. He looked like he’d be the most up for livening up these meetings.

“Your family has grown.” Billy’s voice was accusing, and I turned to look at his stern expression.

“My son, Jasper, joined us in 1965,” Carlisle Cullen said politely, “Looking for a different lifestyle. We have abided by your terms, and would not have returned to this area if we were not prepared to continue to do so.”

The Quiluetes weren’t thrilled with that news, and Charlie just looked kind of tired. Freddie was taking notes on his phone, and I was just cold and getting bored again… until I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye.

Jasper was prowling away from the others, closer to me, where I stood at my uncle’s side. Both eyes were on me, like liquid amber, and I finally got a good look at him.

Jasper was Him - the boy hovering over me, half-dressed on the gurney; the boy kissing my scar, and sliding in behind me in the shower. The boy that had hovered at the edges of my visions and dreams since I was young, with adoration in his eyes and gentle touches.

The boy I’d love so fiercely and deeply…

Talk about a terrible time to finally meet.

“Oh fuck,” I said, as I looked at him, eyes wide. All those wretched cliches that terrible books write about happened at that moment. I was enchanted, besotted, and absolutely irrevocably attached to this Jasper Cullen. He was mine.

“Step back!” Harry barked out, but Jasper Cullen ignored him, watching me carefully. I couldn’t help myself; I smiled brightly at him, and he kept moving towards me. Flashes of knowledge were appearing in my head, and for some reasons I kept seeing the Lovers card, still in my deck at home. I could hear people talking, getting angry, but it was like the buzz of insects as Jasper Cullen got closer to me. His hand reached out slowly, to stroke the curve of my cheek, studying me with the strangest look on his face.

And then the pain hit, like someone had shoved an ice pick through my left eye and into my brain. The visions were folding over and over, like origami, before I could decipher them. Choices being made, minds changing, so fast I could keep up. I heard myself cry out as I fell, and then everything was dark.

Then I was seeing things in real time. The way I fell, blood running from my nose, to everyone’s utter horror. My eyes were rolled back in my head, and my body jerked in a seizure a few times before I was still.

But no one could get near me. As soon as I had fallen, Jasper had crouched over my prone form, with a horrified look on his face. Everyone was yelling and trying to get closer, and Jasper let out a snarl that was, frankly, terrifying before refocusing on me, taking my hand and plucking my glove off it, to rest against his own cheek. Whatever that was supposed to achieve did nothing, and whilst everyone else was yelling and bickering, he let out a low whine that was so pathetic, if I’d had any control over my body, I would have sat up and given him a hug.

Then Carlisle Cullen placed his hands up to the Council in a gesture of peace and nodded to Emmett before approaching Jasper.

The conversation would have been too low for anyone else to hear, but not me, in whatever kind of vision this was.

“Jasper, I understand,” Carlisle Cullen said in a low voice. “But she’s got a medical condition, you need to let her people take care of her.”

Jasper growled low, Emmett’s hand on his shoulder.

“Bro, c’mon,” he said. “You’re scaring them,” he nodded over his shoulder. Sue’s face was white with fear, and I was scared that Harry was going to stroke out on the spot.

And I was there, Sleeping Beauty, with a smear of fresh blood on my face.

“I can’t,” Jasper seemed to force out between gritted teeth. “She’s mine.” It was said with determination and desperation, and a deep tenderness.

I was pleased that whatever my embarrassing collapse had been, at least I knew we were on the same page -that we knew each other and we knew each other.

And just like that, like they were magic words, my eyes open and I was back in reality, staring up at the man-boy who was staring at me like I held the secrets to the universe.

“Alice, did he hurt you?” Freddie called out in a strained voice.

“No, that was me. Too much new information,” I said, as I began to sit up, Jasper sliding my glove back on my hand before I realised it was still missing. He held out his hand to help me up, his touch so careful and gentle.

“Okay, good. Come over here,” Freddie motioned for me to move to where the group seemed to have bunched across from the Cullens. Charlie Swan looked murderous. “She’s nothing to you, boy, just let her go.”

I winced when Freddie said that, realising immediately it was like a red flag to a bull, and all of a sudden there was a lot of motion. Jasper growled, attempting to shove me behind him - to protect me? - whilst Emmett and Carlisle Cullen decided it was time to get Jasper physically under control, and pulled him back towards where the rest of the family was standing.

I tripped over a rock and stumbled but righted myself as Jasper was bodily dragged back to where Esme, Rosalie, and Edward Cullen were waiting, looking worried.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Mrs Cullen asked as I moved back to Freddie’s side, where he quickly clasped me to him, giving me the once over.

“I’m fine,” I said before catching Emmett having bent Jasper’s arms behind  his back at a hideous angle, his knee digging into Jasper’s spine. “Oh, don’t hurt him! Please!” I made a move towards them but Sue grabbed my arm, and Jasper turned to stare at me with what I can only describe as hope.

“I think this meeting is done,” Charlie Swan said finally. “You agree to maintain the existing treaty - that’s all we need. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, we don’t want to cause any issues,” Mrs Cullen said, and Freddie snorted, shielding me with his body.

I felt like a prisoner being frog-marched back to the car.

“Back at the Brandon’s?” Charlie said, as we arrived at the cars.

“Of course,” Freddie said. “Coffee and debrief.”

//

[izupie]

I’ve been writing a Reddie fantasy creature /  AU but I’ve got so far with it and I’m running out of steam, so instead of forcing it and not enjoying it, I’m just going to post what I’ve got so far ! I really enjoyed writing what I did though. One day I hope I’ll finish it and post it on AO3, but I might just stick it in a collection of unfinished stories at some point~

The idea was inspired by a prompt on Instagram and the old wives tale that cats can see ghosts - they say that when cats are looking really intensely at seemingly nothing, they’re really seeing a ghost. So each of the Losers would be a different fantasy creature, with Eddie being a cat that was a witch’s familiar, (but when they leave their witch they’re cursed with a human form to show that they’ve broken their commitment) and Richie’s a ghost that only he can see and touch. (He’s really just Actual Richie caught in the Deadlights, crossing partially over into another universe for a little while, which is why he’s all ghostly, but he has no memory of the world he’s come from, feels like the others are strangely familiar, and he can’t leave Mike’s bar.)

It was really self-indulgent (as all my AUs are) ahaha

--------

Eddie heaved a sigh as he all but fell onto the bar stool. It was a testament to how far he’d walked in the last few days, and how sick he was of camping, that he didn’t even care that the stool creaked noisily at his weight, and that his travelling cloak seemed to stick to the wood as he shuffled to try and make himself more comfortable. (To no success.) (No, his ass wasn’t bony, he was just going to blame it all on the terrible design of flat, hard seats that do nothing for either comfort or alignment of the spine.)

There was a man behind the bar, wiping a metal flagon with a rag, and Eddie desperately tried to not think of the rapid multiplication of bacteria within damp cloth. The bartender had long elven ears, dark skin, and an easy smile that he flashed at Eddie as he made his way over. His expression was open and friendly, and he said, “What can I get for you, traveller?”, in a deep, melodic tone of voice that made Eddie immediately want to offload his whole life story instead of what he wanted to drink. He thankfully managed to keep a lid on his lifetime of trauma and mistreatment and instead replied, “Glass of milk, thanks,” in what he hoped was the confidence of someone used to sitting in bars and ordering drinks and definitely wasn’t travelling alone for the first time in their life.

If he expected a reaction to ordering a glass of milk from a bar, he didn’t receive any, and the bartender just smiled and nodded. “Coming right up,” he said in his honey-smooth voice as he turned away.

Eddie pulled down the hood of his travelling cloak and sighed in relief as his pointed cat ears sprang free from beneath the material. He rummaged within the leather bag around his hip for a small bottle and pulled out the tiny cork with a satisfying pop. There wasn’t much of the potion left, he thought reticently, and the only witch he knew he’d left a long way back from here... But he had to keep his hands clean. Eddie frowned and his tail swished as he poured a few drops of the bright blue liquid onto his hands, then rubbed them vigorously before he stoppered the bottle once more and stowed it away again. The bartender still hadn’t returned yet, and nobody else seemed to be paying him any attention, so he licked his palms and drew them down the velvety soft fur on both of his ears. That felt better.

There were only five other customers that Eddie could see – all playing a game of cards around a large table in the corner of the room. The building wasn’t especially big, so he could hear snippets of their good-natured heckling to each other from his seat, with one voice significantly louder than the others. Eddie placed his elbows on the counter as he tried to get a better look at them – but he felt something wet and cold seep through the thin fabric of his cloak as soon as his elbow touched the surface, and he snatched his arm back with a soft hiss, flattening his ears and nearly losing his balance on the stool. He glared down at the wood, as if it had personally offended him, and then returned his attention to the others.

Only four of the five were sitting at the table with a hand of cards. Nearest to Eddie was a Satyr, judging by the dark brown furred goat legs and the two shining, curved horns on his head. He had neatly trimmed facial hair and wore an openly worried expression (he didn’t seem particularly good at bluffing). Next to him was a man sitting ramrod straight in his chair (good posture, Eddie noted) with sandy brown curly hair, looking shrewdly over his glasses at the rest of the group. Every so often two huge tawny coloured feathery wings would twitch behind him where they were folded in against his back. A woman next to him winked at the Satyr as she said something that Eddie didn’t catch, while her bright red hair flashed like a flame as she tilted her head back and laughed, revealing two long fangs. The only other male at the table gestured for quiet and examined his cards more carefully. He also had two horns on his head, protruding just under his greying hairline, but they were obsidian black, long and thin, and matched the thick scaly tail swishing back and forth across the floorboards while he thought. Eddie blinked in surprise. It was the strangest group he’d ever seen.

The only other person there chattered excitedly behind the Dragon and interrupted Eddie’s observations. He whistled loudly.

“Oh, Big Bill’s got an amazing hand. Nobody fall for his bluffs, he’s lying through his teeth. Guys, c’mon!” The guy gestured violently toward ‘Big Bill’s’ cards and moved around the table, peering closely at the others’ hands. “Stanley. Stanley. Do not let Bill walk out of this place with all this money again. For me.”

Eddie couldn’t believe that this guy was providing such an obnoxiously loud running commentary on the game, and yet nobody was reacting. He moved around the table and practically leant his chin on the Vampire’s shoulder as he loudly read out her hand, but she didn’t even blink. He stood back to his full height (Eddie realised that he was tall) and folded his arms across his chest (tall and broad) and he heaved a huge sigh as he watched the others. (Tall and broad and sad.) Only then did Eddie notice how strange his clothing was – he’d never seen a shirt that shade of bright blue before. And there were small pink birds patterned all over it too. His black hair was messy and unkempt, and he had such strange looking glasses on. Maybe he was from a different Kingdom?

The dragon slammed his hand down with a raucous cheer and Eddie’s attention returned to the game. The others threw their cards onto the table with groans of disappointment.

“I fucking told you all! Jesus. I can’t believe you fell for Bill’s bluffing again. Or maybe you’re all just bad at cards,” the strange man mused, “we all know Benny Boy can’t keep a straight face to save his life…” He continued ranting whilst the others chatted amongst themselves and threw down bags of coins that the dragon scooped towards himself.

“Sorry to keep you.” The bartender’s sudden return shocked Eddie enough to make him jump. His ears flattened against his skull and he willed the fur on his tail to lie flat again before anyone in the room noticed it bushed up. Eddie knew he was scowling, but the bartender just smiled pleasantly and placed a glass of white liquid in front of him. “Fresh milk,” he announced.

Eddie looked down at the milk, back up at the bartender’s smile, and considered the amount of time he’d been gone for. “Fresh… as in… fresh milk?”

“Can’t get any fresher.”

Eddie gagged and pushed the glass away. “Pass.”

The bartender laughed heartily. “I’m kidding. I don’t keep milk in the bar, but my cabin’s not far from here and I grabbed some out of the larder. It’s fresh, but it’s been sterilized, don’t worry.” There was a bright gleam to his eyes that melted away most of Eddie’s irritation, but his tail (no longer looking like he got struck by lightning) still swished a little angrily behind him.

He took a tentative sip, spurred on by thirst and an innate feeling that this elf was trustworthy, and sighed with relief at the cold creamy taste that slid deliciously down his throat. He grabbed a few coins out of his leather bag and placed them on the bar, making sure his fingers didn’t touch any of the mystery liquid that he’d accidentally dipped his elbow in before.

“Thanks,” he said.

“You’re welcome, traveller. Hey, what’s your name anyway? Mine’s Mike.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, took another sip of milk, and finally replied, “Eddie.”

“Well met, Eddie. Feel free to stay as long as you want, Maturin only knows I don’t get many visitors.” Mike went to move away but Eddie stopped him with a jerk of his head in the direction of the group in the corner.

“Hey, uh- interesting group over there.”

Mike smiled again, but this time it really tugged at the corners of his eyes. “They’re my favourite group of people in the whole of The Eight Kingdoms,” was all he said, as they rose from the table and made their way over. Which left Eddie just as clueless as before since his poor attempt at prompting hadn’t worked.

Mike laughed as they all took seats at the bar. “Don’t tell me, Bill won again.”

“Of course!” Bill crowed, his scaly black tail lifting into the air behind him. “If anyone can b-bl-bluff their way out of anything, it’s a writer. There was that whole m-m-murder mystery I wrote last year, set around a card game. I’ve been on a winning streak since th-then.”

“Ever humble, Big Bill!” The strangely dressed guy in the glasses laughed. “Yikes, man.”

“That means drinks are on Bill today,” the Vampire said, seemingly ignoring that comment, as she tapped the bar beside Eddie excitedly. “You want another, stranger? Bill’s paying with our hard-earned coin that he swindled from us.” She grinned and her fangs glinted in the candlelight.

“Uh…” Eddie started, unsure about the sudden acknowledgement of his presence.

“Sorry,” the Satyr said gently, in a pleasantly raspy kind of voice, “we get like this when we’re together.”

“Or some of us do anyway,” the man with the feathery wings added. The soft sound of rustling feathers followed his every movement as he took off his gold framed glasses. With his glasses off it made him look younger somehow, though his bird-like eyes were still piercing as he regarded Eddie with a slightly tilted head like a bird.

“I’m Ben,” the Satyr went on.

“-Sweet, sensitive Benny-Boy,” the glasses guy sighed.

“That’s Stan…”

“-My man, Stan the Man. Even if he could hear my jokes, he still wouldn’t laugh at them-”

“This is Bev…”

“-Nobody has the right to be this hot and not have a pulse-”

“And Bill.”

“-Good at everything in that kinda way that makes everyone want to follow everything he says, but also in the kinda way that makes me want to punch him in the face just a little bit.”

Eddie snorted an unexpected laugh and quickly tried to pass it off as a cough.

“Sorry- my name’s Eddie.”

At the chorus of ‘nice to meet you’s and ‘well met’s from the group Eddie was vaguely aware that the other man hadn’t been introduced at all, and that still nobody had reacted to any of his comments. Eddie couldn’t stop his eyes from glancing over, but he was already looking back, so their gazes locked for a second. Warmth sprang to his cheeks at the realisation he’d been caught. He pretended to cough again as he pointedly kept his eyes away, squirming in his seat with his embarrassment, and tried not to think about the confused expression he’d seen on the other man’s face as their eyes had met.

He focused on the realisation that none of them had drawn any attention to his cat ears. Although he’d already started figuring out that most of what Myra told him had been lies, it still stung to have it confirmed almost daily by every new experience. It was a sad, twisted truth that his own witch had been deliberately lying to him his whole life about everything.

He took another sip of milk and placed the glass back on the bar as he couldn’t help but let his attention wander back to the man from before, while the others all chattered and ordered drinks off Mike. His magnified dark eyes were opened wide behind his glasses as their gazes met again. Hadn’t he looked away at all? What was he staring at? His ears? Eddie’s tail twitched in a show of his irritation, wondering if he should take back everything he’d just been thinking. What was this guy’s deal? Well, if he was going to stare, so was he. Eddie defiantly lifted his chin and looked straight at him, willing him to make a comment. But the guy glanced around, as if checking there was nobody else around him that Eddie could be looking at. His eyes were still opened wide and his breathing sped up as he raised a slow and shaky hand to point to himself, raising his eyebrows as if to say, ‘…me?’. Eddie’s ears twitched and his own eyebrows pulled together sharply, as if to reply, ‘uh, yeah, who else?’.

“You can…” the guy started, then swallowed loudly and took a deep breath. “You can see me?”

Eddie felt something cold settle low in his gut, understanding beginning to finally dawn on him. “No,” he snapped.

“Holy fuck! You can see me!”

“No!” Eddie yelled loudly, jumping off the stool and hissing. “No, I can’t!”

“Yes you can! Yes you can! Holy shit! Fuck!”

“Eddie?” Mike asked gently. “Are you okay?”

The others looked at him warily, while Richie moved closer – seemingly caught somewhere between awe and relief.

“No- Yes! - I mean…”

Bill held his palms up as if calming a wild animal. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Eddie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’ve gotta be kidding me that this is the one thing she didn’t lie about… how was I supposed to know… never thought I’d meet…”

“My name’s Richie!” the guy nearly yelled, excitement bursting out of his voice. “Richie Tozier. Hey look, you’ve gotta help me. This is insane,” he laughed wetly, and Eddie realised he was crying. “I can’t believe you can see me. I’ve waited so long to have somebody fucking, just, reply to me, man.”

(Can ghosts cry? Apparently so.)

“Eddie?” Mike repeated, as unaware as the others at the second half of the conversation that was going on.

The mood of the room had completely changed; the others were looking at him like Myra had always told him they would. A hot spike of shame ran through him and Eddie hissed softly at them, his ears lying flat. “I’m not bad luck.”

Bev shook her head, her expression sad. “Nobody said you are, honey, just calm down and tell us what’s going on.”

“You can see him, can’t you?” Stan spoke softly, but it cut through the chaos.

“Stan?! What the fuck, you can see me too?” Richie whirled on him and pointed an accusatory finger.

“You can see him too?” Eddie echoed.

“No. But I had my suspicions. Just, a voice I could hear sometimes. A glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eyes.” Stan ruffled his wings and folded his arms. “I figured this bar was haunted.”

“And you never said anything?” Richie wiped at his face. “I’ve been going crazy talking to everyone with absolutely nothing back this whole time and you knew I was here?”

“Wait, haunted? There’s someone else in the room?” Ben looked alarmed.

“Can someone explain what’s going on?” Mike looked between Eddie and Stan.

Eddie sighed and resisted the urge to massage his temples. “Cats can see ghosts,” he explained in a strained voice.

“Eddie here just became my new best friend, that’s what’s going on.” Richie sidled up to Eddie’s side so swiftly he didn’t have time to react before he had slung an arm over his shoulder.

Eddie hissed and ducked away but Richie was beaming. “You can feel me too?! Get back here! Hug me!”

“Not if you were the only ghost in the whole of the Eight Kingdoms!”

“So, there is a ghost?” Bill prompted.

“Can’t believe my bar’s haunted,” Mike mumbled.

[2o2o-kit]

My ranking of American Girl Movies

I recently ranked the Barbie Movies, but another franchise I grew up on and loved even more than Barbie and still love is American Girl so I ranked all the AG movies I’ve seen.

Disclaimer I’m only doing the ones from Samantha - Lea because I have not seen the Amazon Prime specials

10. Isabelle

So forgettable, I haven’t watched it since 2014, just really boring, (maybe it’s because I’m not into dance) but I do like how they showed the sister’s side of the story

9. Saige

It’s okay, there are a few highs, I like how it shows that in life friendships might grow apart, and the art and scenery is nice. But the characters are mainly unlike able (except for Gabi) and some parts just seem unrealistic, my sister loved this movie and watched it three days in a row

8. Lea

I was not really a big fan of the whole jungle adventure plot, and I kind of wish she stayed in her hometown (since that’s where I’m from) but it did bring up the issue of poaching, which I never heard of before watching

7. McKenna

I remember this movie a lot. I thought the music was great and the gymnastics stuff was cool. But I thought McKenna was not the best role model, any of the other girls would have made better characters. (However I got to see the actress who plays the coach in a production of Peter Pan the summer this movie came out)

6. Grace

Maybe I am being a bit too harsh on the newer movies, or Mattel’s movie quality went down hill after 2012 (see Barbie movies) But this one was probably the best of the newer Girl of the Year movies. It could be because I also like food and cooking as well, but I thought the Paris story was kind of cute and I used to love to watch Mater Chef so I loved the little Master Chef cameo. The music for this one was great. And the dog is adorable. But I feel like the plot is a bit busy and some parts are unrealistic too. Also this is how I see Olivia Rodrigo, not as that one girl from High School Musical the series.

5. Molly

Okay these next 3 were so hard to rank, I was about to make them all a tie. I like how the setting of this because we don’t get that many homefront movies. I also love how Molly Ringwald (80s icon) was the mother. But some parts I felt were a bit slow and spring went on for way too long. And a reccourring theme in these next movies this is just the emotion and you could tell the fear and sadness some of the characters faced in this.

4. Chrissa

This is my favorite Girl of the Year movie. This movie is realistic and I’m sure girls have related to Chrissa’s story. I love seeing Sonali’s arc and her becoming friends with Chrissa. Although sometimes I feel like Tara didn’t get enough consequences for her actions (like many politicians) but yeah this is nostalgic too.

3. Samantha

Ahh the first AG movie. There are some parts that are boring that I would skip over and I want a bit more development of Nellie’s character. But the costumes are nice and I love Cornelia (who is played by Rebecca Mader from Once Upon a Time) and Samantha was Anna-Sophia Robb’s first role and I thought it was good.

2. Felicity

Does my weird obsession with the late 18th century and tricorn hats had bias to this ranking? (Maybe as I listen to Hamilton and day dream about that fashion) So I’m not big on horses and Felicity can seem a bit whiny and yes there are slaves in this, so that didn’t age well. But I enjoy myself an American Revolution story with a female protagonist. The movie also flows well compared to other movies. And Shailene Woodly was great in this as well. (Also I totally ship Felicity and Ben)

1. Kit

Okay this movie is a bit higher quality since it did come out in theaters but I don’t care it’s still number 1. Kit is adorable and like able and an inspiration. This and (the musical Annie) made me fall in love with the Great Depression. And while the story is not exactly like the books it’s still so engaging. The costumes and music are incredible. And the acting is awesome. Abigail Breslin is great, but it also has Jane Krakowski (from 30 Rock and Kimmy Schmidt) Wallace Shawn (from The Princess Bride and Clueless) and freaking Stanley Tucci. I watched this movie 5 days in row when I first got it and it really got me invested in AG.

[mexcine]

I’m All Right Jack (1959) review: I’m All Right Jack was reportedly the most popular British film of the year of its release, and has maintained its critical reputation in the decades since.  While I found it interesting and entertaining, I was slightly underwhelmed by the film, largely due to several structural aspects of the film’s narrative.

    The basic plot: Stanley Windrush, an Oxford graduate and a former serviceman, is the “poor relation” of a wealthy family and decides to “enter business” as a management trainee.  However, he’s naïve, clumsy and outspoken, and is repeatedly rejected by various companies.  Finally, his uncle Tracepursel suggests Stanley seek employment at Missiles Ltd. (a company Tracepursel owns), but as an ordinary worker.  Stanley innocently clashes with the plant’s unions, but head steward Fred Kite (who has pretensions to be an intellectual analyst of the capitalist system) offers to rent Stanley a room in his own house and educate him in the ways of the working class.  Spotting Kite’s sexy daughter Cynthia (who also works at the plant), Stanley accepts the offer of lodging.  [This has little or no bearing on the plot, as Stanley and Kite have almost no interaction after this; and as noted below, even Stanley’s romance with Cynthia is jettisoned at the conclusion.]

    Meanwhile, unbeknowst to Stanley, Tracepursel is conspiring with Sidney De Vere Cox to have Missiles Ltd. default on a contract to supply arms to a Middle Eastern nation so that Cox’s company can take over the contract (at a higher price, which they’ll split amongst themselves and buyer’s agent Mr. Mohamed). When Stanley unknowingly cooperates with a “time-and-motion” study man and reveals that Missile Ltd’s employees could work much harder, Kite calls a strike.  This soon spreads across the nation, including to Cox’s company, so the scheme has worked too well.  Tracepursel urges plant manager Major Hitchcock to negotiate with Kite to end the strike; since Stanley’s removal is a condition for a resolution, Cox tries to bribe Stanley with a bag of cash to “resign for reasons of health.”  During a television broadcast about the strike, Stanley denounces both sides of the dispute as corrupt, and tosses the money into the air, which provokes a brawl among the studio audience.  Stanley is arrested for his actions, chastised, and put on probation for a year.  As the film concludes, he’s living at a nudist colony with his aged father.

    One of the main flaws of I’m All Right Jack is that the film changes focus throughout—it’s not necessarily a case of an “ensemble cast,” the film almost literally switches back and forth between protagonists.  Stanley Windrush seems to be the protagonist, but at a certain point—when Missiles Ltd. goes on strike—he almost literally vanishes from the screen for an extended period of time, and is replaced in the spotlight by union steward Fred Kite.  There are also extended sequences focusing on Sidney De Vere Cox and Mr. Mohamed, with lesser footage (more traditional use of supporting characters) allotted to Tracepursel and Major Hitchcock, while Aunt Dolly appears only briefly and without much effect on the plot.  A more traditional film would have centered on Windrush throughout, but his disappearance for much of the middle section of the picture makes the conclusion feel forced.  I’m All Right Jack has a curious, “unhappy ending”—Stanley is reprimanded in court, and is last seen being pursued by amorous female tennis players at a nudist resort, his relationship with Cynthia Kite apparently terminated (she’s last seen, weeping, while Stanley is being dressed down by the judge, suggesting she still cares for Stanley).

    Additionally, I’m All Right Jack has a needlessly complex and somewhat illogical plot.  As noted above, Tracepursel and Cox’s scheme to have Missiles Ltd. default on an arms contract so Cox can take over the contract (at a higher price that will allow for kickbacks to those involved).  Apparently as part of this plot, Tracepursel has his ineffectual nephew Stanley Windrush hired by Missiles Ltd.  As it develops, Stanley’s naïveté results in a massive strike that shuts down Missiles Ltd. (but then spreads to Cox’s company and in fact nation-wide), but this was not something Tracepursel could have anticipated.  He gives Stanley no instructions or advice, and it’s only purest luck that Stanley’s actions cause a strike--he’s by no means an agent provocateur (despite Kite’s accusation of him being exactly that) even unwittingly. He just clueless. Any number of alternate outcomes could have occurred as a result of his hiring.

    There is some confusion about the film’s setting: it seems to be contemporary to 1959 when it was produced (the most notable auto in the film is Stanley’s tiny, 3-wheel 1958 Heinkel Kabine), but this would mean Stanley—who served in WWII in Private’s Progress (1956), which features the characters of Stanley, Major Hitchcock, Tracepursel, and Cox—is still unemployed nearly 15 years after the war is over, and is probably pushing 40 (in real life, Ian Carmichael was born in 1920 and did serve in WWII), which seems out of character.  The narrator [E.V.H. Emmett, well-known in the UK as a newsreel narrator] specifically says “Industry! With tremendous opportunities for the young man…”

    This is not to suggest I’m All Right Jack is a bad film—it’s amusing and well-acted, and contains a significant number of interesting ideas.  Barbs are tossed at unions, management, the government, political parties, advertising (detergent Detto and snack bar Num-Yums, both with obnoxious jingles), and so on.  Unionism is attacked mercilessly: Missiles Ltd. has 2 unions, so if one is granted higher wages, the other can request an increase in pay, and then the first one has its turn again, etc.  Stanley stumbles across a group of men who play cards all day in a hidden spot (they can’t be fired but have no work to do), the unions resist cooperating with time-and-motion studies and reportedly assaulted a previous investigator, and so on.  While management and ownership is also depicted as corrupt and/or inept, this could be explained away by labeling Tracepursel and Cox as anomalies.  Working-class opinion presumably supports the principles of the strike (although the most prominent union members shown are Kite’s toadies, and his own wife is certainly not on his side, as she leaves him!), large crowds—whose placards identify them as the “Housewives League” and “Empire Loyalists”--are shown applauding Stanley’s actions (“Three cheers for Mr. Churchill and Stanley Windrush!”) as they sing “Land of Hope and Glory.”  The conservative “Daily Express” newspaper headline reads “Salute Stanley Windrush,” while the Labour-oriented tabloid “Daily Mirror” has a large photo of Stanley and Cynthia (emphasizing her bust) and the clever “Stanley Strikes Lucky” headline (referring to his romance with Cynthia).  Tracepursel says Stanley has the press on his side--some papers for ideological reasons, but others apparently only interested in gossip.

    The political content of I’m All Right Jack is mild and even-handed (basically, a plague on both houses).  Curiously, Ian Carmichael also appeared in Left Right and Centre in 1959, a film that’s focused more specifically on politics and while it’s still balanced in its depiction of the political parties in the UK—the protagonists are more or less evenly split between Conservative and Labour—it points out the differences between them more clearly than I’m All Right Jack.

    Trivia note: I was mildly shocked to see some nudity in I’m All Right Jack, in the opening and closing nudist camp scenes.  It’s bare rear-only nudity (and only of women), shown from a distance and in a non-sexual manner, but it was surprising nonetheless.  

    I’m All Right Jack is well-made and has a strong cast.  The comedy is mostly subtle and character-based: the chief exception to this is Stanley’s slapstick tour of the Num-Yum factory, in which he’s repeatedly urged to sample the product and finally ends up vomiting into a mixing machine.  The film briefly pokes fun at advertising (the “Detto” detergent and “Num-Yum” billboards and musical jingles) but drops this rather abruptly.  Not all of the verbal and character humour works—one of Kite’s union cronies stutters, and the “joke” is that you think he’s going to say a profane word based on the first letter but he doesn’t (“F-f-f-f…friend”).

    Ian Carmichael was somewhat typecast as a well-meaning but naïve and bumbling member of the upper class, and he is reasonably effective here.  Peter Sellers’ Fred Kite is a much more complex character, mispronouncing large words, lauding the Soviet Union, reminiscing fondly about the “very good toast and preserves they give you at tea time” at Oxford (where he attended a summer session in 1946).  When his wife (well-played by Irene Handl) and daughter Cynthia (Liz Fraser, also good) leave him, Fred’s home life goes to blazes (sink full of unwashed dishes, etc.) and he gains additional audience sympathy (although he isn’t a really unsympathetic character earlier, just a self-important and overly enthusiastic labour union representative).  Dennis Price, Terry-Thomas, Richard Attenborough, and Margaret Rutherford have clearly-defined supporting roles and play them straight.  Further down in the cast in very minor roles are Esma Cannon, Wally Patch, and John Van Eyssen (who appeared as Jonathan Harker in Horror of Dracula, 1958, if you’re wondering why he looks familiar).  

    I’m All Right Jack is a fine, entertaining film but perhaps slightly over-rated in terms of its overall importance.  Still, recommended.

[reubyocs]

Val, who's still laying on the floor, still wincing in pain, looks up at both Stanley and Nextday. He tries to force a smile, but clearly he's in so much pain that it doesn't work out too well for him.

As he's laying there, he notices Stanley's reaction to the pair of them, watching him point at Pete, Val, and then back to himself. He watches Stanley sign, squinting his eyes again as he focuses solely on him. He can just about make out what he was saying, but it has been years since he has used ASL. Then, it dawns on him who he's talking to. Excitedly, Val waves to Stanley as he aggressively tugs on Pete's trouser leg, getting his attention. Before Pete can get annoyed at him for almost pulling his pants down, he's interrupted by Val.

"Dude! It's 427!" Val joyously speaks as he waves his finger at him. "We robbed the Diamond Casino with him back in 2023! Remember that?" Pete squints his eyes, watching Stanley closely. He remembers the Casino heist, but not this generic looking man. Then, he sees Stanley sign to Thisday. It all comes back to him so suddenly.

"Oh yes. I remember 427." Pete quietly grumbles as he watches Stanley turn his attention back to the pair. Pete waves at Stanley, before continuing his conversation with Thisday. Val can only giddly smile at Stanley, he's so excited to be hanging out with his old crew mate.

Pete rolls his eyes upon the mention that Thisday knows Doomsday- and more so, hangs around this office. He hopes that he doesn't have to deal with her at all. "Yes... I haven't been able to get her to stop asking me." Pete sighs. "It's been years and she still keeps asking me. I've never hit her again with my car since that first time. I never will. On purpose, by accident. Never again." Pete folds his arms as he leans against the bench that Thisday is standing next to.

"Think you could tell her that I never want to hit her with a car?" He asks, watching as Thisday reaches for the hardest to reach mug. "Maybe she'll listen to someone who's actually her friend- or knows her. Or maybe you could just ask her why she wants me of all people to do that for her? Please? For past me's sake?" This is probably the first and only time Pete has ever plead for someone to help him. He hopes he never has to do that again.

Pete can feel his jaw lowering as Thisday runs over a brief list of things and people that have seemingly torn new holes into their office block. All of it, of course, is incredibly fucked to him. "So you just, deal with it?" He asks, clear horror in his voice. "How the fuck do you get hit with so many insane things and just let it not bother you? Have you all considered moving offices at all?"

While Pete listens to Thisday's explanation. The pain has finally subsided for Val, who decides he's finally had enough of laying on the floor. He gets himself up, dusting himself off as he stands next to Pete. Pete of course, remains clueless when Stanley signs to them. But Val, his eyes light up with joy.

"No. We took a step back from doing things like that after we stopped the end of the world. It's a verrryyy long story." He scratches his chin for a moment as he tries to think of short, interesting things he did after the Casino heist. "We did do a few heists after we robbed that casino. We stole from some crazy rich guy on an island a few times... broke into some secret government facilities... OH!" Val suddenly remembers something incredibly important. Once he knows he has Stanley's attention, he stands up straight with a warm and joyous smile. Then, with lots of irregular pauses in between as he struggles to remember the motion, Val signs to him.

"I learnt ASL because of you." Val has waited years to be able to tell 427 that he learnt ASL. In fact, he's so excited that he's now hopping between his feet. "In fact, LJT and I have used it on numerous occasions while we've been scoping places for those other heists."

While Thisday is busy with the coffee, Stanley is getting a good look at the two visitors who are apparently from the future. Now Stanley is looking at Val and Pete and starting to think that they look familiar. It's not until they mention robbing the Diamond and El Rubio that it finally clicks home for him and his eyes pop open in understanding. And the way they're interacting with each other? There's no mistaking that. Now he smiles too and points at the two of them, then at himself, and signs, "Remember me? 427?"

He's sort of impressed by the whole time travel business. He has been sort of exposed to it after learning about the In-Between and how it connects worlds and dimensions throughout time, but the concept of actual time travel the way these two have accomplished it seems far more sci-fi and less horror, and more interesting. He goes over to the counter and signs to Thisday, asking for coffee too, and also wants to listen to the conversation now.

Meanwhile Thisday, even though he's done this probably at least half a hundred times with this particular coffee pot, is having difficulty getting the coffee machine going. He bends over and is just about to stick his face directly underneath it when the water starts coming out of it, causing him to back away in a hurry.

"What's wrong with this thi- And there it is! Sometimes you just gotta look at it the right way, right? Ahaha. Anyway, ah, it's going now." As he goes about gathering some mix-and-matched mugs for everyone, he listens to what Pete is saying. And beams. "Oh! Doomsday? Yeah, she's around here! Begging you to run her over with your car definitely sounds like her, haha. Here we go, one of these-" he says, stretching up for a mug way up in the cupboard for no particular reason.

"Well, thing is, money doesn't really work around here, so there's nowhere for you to even wire it to," Thisday says, coming back from with a very dusty mug that's just one of those plain white 8 oz coffee mugs you see in every office. "Seriously, don't worry about it. We can clean it up and fix it. Things like this happen all the time."

"It's sad but true," Nextday finally speaks up. "Although I think this is the first time someone has time-traveled and driven a car through the office in the process. But I wouldn't know. I haven't been here for that long."

"Oh, let's see, aside from this we've had," Thisday says, holding up his hand to tick off his fingers as he goes, "A jet land in the employee lounge, a.k.a. this room, a big god tear open a hole in the ceiling of the control booth, a helicopter break through a window and land in the office downstairs, annnnnnd... I feel like I'm forgetting something, which probably speaks for itself. Anyway." He turns back to the coffee pot, which is still in the process of brewing.

"You two still pulling off heists or what?" Stanley signs, feeling a lot more comfortable now that he is in company he is somewhat familiar with.