#simpson drop in anchor

[sxftusll]

The Beast - The Story of Theodore Seville

Chapter Summary: Theodore Seville is just trying to get through high school. The thing is, he weighs 5,000 pounds. He is a fat fat chipmunk. During lunch however, he makes a big mistake. (PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS FAN FICTION SERIOUSLY. I MADE THIS AS A JOKE WITH MY FRIENDS. I AM NOT FATPHOBIC I JUST REALLY FUCKING HATE THEODORE SEVILLE. I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY.)

Chapter 1

Theodore sat on the school bus in between his brothers. Every minute or so, the bus would go over a bump in the road and he would nearly fall onto one of his brothers. Doing so would definitely crush them due to Theodore’s size.

Throughout elementary and middle school Theodore Seville wasn’t bullied for being a singing chipmunk, but rather for his weight. Cruel children would joke that he was the bomb that was dropped on Vietnam, or when he farted it started Chernobyl, they would even go as far as to say that Theodore’s gravitational pull was so strong that if you stood near him for too long you would start to be pulled closer and closer to him. This changed Theodore. He used to be so sweet and full of life, but one day the bullying became too much… and Theodore? Well, he became the bully.

Now in high school, when he walks down the hall, people keep their heads down and become quiet. Nobody wants to mess with this green chipmunk. His brothers avoid him in school as well. “Your brother is so fat,” is what they would all say. “I don’t understand how you live with that big guy.” But they didn’t understand.

Alvin and Simon loved their brother and Dave and they loved each other too. Their family was a force to be reckoned with, Ian Hawk can tell you that much.

The bus came to a slow stop and Theodore had to press his paws against the bus seat in front of him to stop himself from falling over. His paw prints crushed the seat and a hole was left where his paws used to be. “Theodore,” Simon shouted. “You know Dave can’t afford another bus seat!” Theodore stared blankly at Simon. This wasn’t the first time he had destroyed a part of the bus before.

In middle school, when he really let himself go, he weighed so much that it literally slowed the bus down. People would call him “the anchor” because of this. Everyone who rode that bus to school knew that they would be 20 minutes late to their first class because of Theodore. It was a blessing when Theodore was sick because they would actually make it to class on time. Sometimes, they would have spare time to finish their homework before class started.

Theodore stood up and walked down to the doors to exit the bus. Each step made the bus shake violently. Four police officers from the school would have to hold the bus in place to stop it from drifting away if the brakes happened to break because of the vibrations. He got off the bus and kept his head down.

He truly was a broken man chipmunk. He listened to Juice Wrld and watched broken Bart Simpson edits in his free time in middle school. But now he is so far gone that he doesn’t even do that anymore.

Entering the school made Theodore’s heart drop, but he wouldn’t let anyone know about that. He was the top dog at the school and everyone- *everyone-* needed to know that for a fact. The football team didn’t mess with him. Not even the teachers could bare to look in his eye for more than five seconds.

He stomped through the halls- *Boom*. Stomp. *Boom.* Stomp*. Boom.* If you are in his path at the same time he’s walking through the halls, you had better hold onto whatever structure is closest to you and pray you don’t get any major injuries. Theodore walked through the halls and was on his way to the student garden. His girlfriend, Eleanor, waited there with her sisters for him every morning. Alvin and Simon kept a safe distance behind him, however. To avoid any unnecessary association with their brother.

It was sad, really. His own brother’s didn’t want to be seen with him. Even their girlfriends didn’t want to be seen with him either. Brittany and Jeanette would say to their sister, “You should really break up with that green one.” They thought that dating that freak was ruining Eleanor’s reputation at school and in their girl group band, The Chippets. And honestly, he was.

But Eleanor didn’t care. She loved Theodore. He was the most loyal, kind, and caring chipmunk she had ever met. When he would talk about how insecure he was about his weight, Eleanor could relate to him. She wasn’t as ginormous as that fatty Theodore, but she weighed more than her sisters and that made her sad. Eleanor or Theodore could relate to each other. They had a shoulder to lean on (more like a boulder to lean on).

Eleanor’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Theodore!” She ran up to him and gave him a hug. Theodore carefully wrapped his arms around her, careful to not break her spine because of how powerful he was. When he was around her he truly felt like himself again. Deep down he truly was a kind creature, but his trauma was so bad that he repressed those feelings.

Brittany and Jeanette didn’t even bother to look at Theodore and went to Simon and Alvin. This filled Theodore with rage. Those bitches. How could they not even have the decency to LOOK at him?

Theodore thought about this all day long. *I wish they would just die!* He thought. Maybe if one of them died, the other would finally gain the empathy to be nice for once. He couldn’t even focus in class because he was so angry. He used to be so nice to them. But they hated him for some reason. Jeanette was nice to his face, but he knew that she would call him a fat atomic bomb with fur behind his back to Brittany. Brittany didn’t even try to be kind to him however.

Lunch time rolled around and Theodore took out his gigantic, comically large lunch box. Eleanor “ate” lunch with him, but she didn’t actually eat. They both ate without their siblings. But they knew that Alvin, Brittany, Simon, and Jeanette ate lunch together in the cafeteria, away from them. It was obvious that they didn’t care if it hurt Theodore or Eleanor’s feelings. But if they didn’t care about Theodore and Eleanor, then they didn’t care either.

Theodore took a big bite out of his 90,000 calorie Big Mac that he had been storing in his lunch box since yesterday. Eleanor sat politely beside him, admiring him. “You know, Theodore,” Eleanor said, “our one year anniversary is coming up next month!” Theodore kept eating, but he was still listening. “I know,” he said with his cheeks stuffed. “Well, I was just wondering,” she continued, “ do you have any plans for our special day?���

Theodore swallowed his food. He didn’t have a date planned out at all! He had been too busy making mukbangs to remember their anniversary. “Um,” Theodore hesitated. Is he allowed to lie to his girlfriend? She looked at him so innocently and with hope. He couldn’t tell the truth, but it hurt to lie to her. “Yes. But it’s a surprise so I can’t tell you anything.” She giggled. “Oh, Theo, you heart throb!”

“Heart throb”. Yeah, that was nothing close to what this heartless monster was. More like heart disease. Get it. Because he has type two billion diabetes. He reluctantly took another bite of his burger and swallowed. His eyes widened. “Oh no,” he said. He could feel it rising from his stomach to his throat. He was about to burp. “Theo?” she asked worriedly. He put his hands over his mouth. “Oh…no…”

But nothing happened. He no longer had to burp. “Theodore! Are you alright?” Eleanor cried. “Y-yeah. I’m good. I thought for a second that I was about to burp,” said Theodore. He laughed and then out of nowhere- he released the loudest, earth shattering, ground vibrating burp that had ever come from his throat.

People were screaming. He looked around in shock. The windows were broken in the cafeteria. Every table that was once in front of him was now thrown against the wall and the people who once sat at those tables were passed out. Either from shock or from injury. “Oh… oh my God.” A group of girls started to cry beside their friends mangled body. She was still breathing, but she was definitely in pain. Eleanor looked around in utter disbelief. She couldn’t believe that Theodore had done this to so many people.

“Theodore… how could you hurt all of these people?!” Eleanor yelled. She started to cry, she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t stop herself. “I couldn’t help it!” Theodore screamed back. Eleanor looked at him with hatred. “You… I… I can’t be here right now!” Eleanor ran away and before Theodore knew it she was gone.

He looked around at the damage he had done. It reminded him of ‘nam… I mean- if he had been at Vietnam- but like- he totally wasn’t and that joke about being the bomb that dropped on Vietnam was jussssstttt a joke… hahahahaha…haha… ha.

He almost started to cry. But anger took over his emotions instead. People would talk about this for years to come. He could never escape being picked on. This was torture. The ground was shaking again and suddenly he had burst into a sprint. He ran. Away from this school. Away from the haters. Away from his brothers. Away from everything.

In the distance he could hear the loudspeakers. “Attention teachers and students. School is cancelled for today. There has been an unforeseen natural disaster that has taken place at our school. Only two buses are available and working. All other buses have been destroyed by.. the weather. All students and staff members are dismissed. We will get back to everyone soon about the future school schedule. Everyone stay safe.”

He started running again. He didn’t know exactly where he was running, but he hoped that it was home.

[methinmycoffee]

*Spoilers for The Simpsons and Family Guy*

Simpsons: Who shot Mr. Burns?

Family Guy: And Then There Were Fewer

South Park needs to do a murder mystery episode. Many shows do them, but I’m just going to use The Simpsons and Family Guy for examples.

The Simpsons has the ever-famous “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” Duology, ending season 6 and beginning season 7 with two episodes centered around the mystery. While not technically a “Murder Mystery” it’s still an iconic whodunnit that sees the entire town turn against each other as the try and figure out the culprit. The ending is kind of a cop-out, when the shooter is revealed to be Maggie Simpson and she is not charged with a crime. (Originally the shooter was going to be Barney, and he was actually going to go to jail for a season or so). It’s still full of a lot of genuinely good clues, such as every clock reading 3:00 to hint at how the sun dial is supposed to be read.

Family Guy has “And Then There Were Fewer” which was the premiere for season 9. This 50 minute episode of the show contains no cutaway gags, and is a true to form murder mystery. We see the actual deaths of a few characters, including a character that was introduced in the episode (Stephanie), James Woods (who was later brought back, which is lame), Muriel Goldman, Derek Wilcox, Pricilla, and finally the killer, Diane Simmons, is shot after a showdown with Lois Griffin. This is my favorite episode of the show, honestly. Even though they brought back James Woods, every other character named remains dead throughout the show, and there are even a couple mentions of their deaths throughout, especially for Muriel and Diane. Diane Simmons was an especially prominent character throughout the first eight seasons, appearing as the co-anchor to Tom Tucker (yes that’s his name) every time the news was played, which is frequently. They give her character motivations for wanting to kill James Woods and frame Tom Tucker for it, which she reveals to Lois in a very dramatic scene towards the end of the episode. Honestly even if you don’t like Family Guy this is a pretty solid episode, aside from a few really lame jokes.

South Park, ever starved for ideas, could totally do something like this. It’s not like it doesn’t fit the tone of the show, and it’s not like we don’t have any side character to spare. It could also work fairly well as a weird dream episode or something, and then they could do it with the main class of 4th graders. I would hope they leaned more towards the Family Guy episode, and it seems like that would fit the show more. The one problem is that the cast of South Park is mostly children, but there are definitely side adults that we could lose, and they’ve never been above killing some kids.

Maybe we could drop some characters we haven’t seen in awhile, like Ned, and then move up to character we see often but wouldn’t really be missed. Someone irl (@unoficial-trader-joes) suggested the mayor and I think that could work. We could also drop some less-popular 4th grade characters, like Annie Knitts, Red McArthur, and if we’re feeling really wild maybe Scott Malkinson or DogPoo Petuski. It would be a fun time, I think.

(Also the Killer should be Kenny, and he’s killed in a final showdown like in the Family Guy episode, but then he just comes back because he’s Kenny)

[fixdex-fastening-technology]

knurled drop in anchor

click here to see more of this product

[3liza]

I feel like advertisements have gotten significantly stupider and lower effort / plain nonsensical over the past decade or two. Taglines, jingles, skits, all seem to lack anything creative, catchy, or even vaguely amusing. Any thoughts here?

yeah ive noticed the same thing. i think its a combination of stuff. for one thing the average age of an advertisement viewer went up drastically in the aughts and i think has slowly been coming back down since the widespread cultural amnesia about adblocking and piracy set in with zoomers and, for some reason, millennials who should know better. the average full-budget Television Commercial is now therefore targeted at boomers and maybe the oldest Gen Xers and the relative lack of complexity reflects this

commercials used to be a little more outré and transgressive, basically every playstation campaign until idk, 10 years ago? 15? was stuff that would get "creepiest ads explained" youtubes on it now and probably will as soon as theyre rediscovered in about 5-10 years. some of it was just like, racist, but a lot of it was pretty interesting and faux-subversive i thought. that entire era of 90s corporate transgressive vanguardism(?? idk what to call it, MTV stuff) got squashed the instant the first plane hit the towers. it was the end of irony [edit: this is not really correct, i think a lot of that stuff was produced in the 00s but the chilling effect of 9/11 just took a few years to tamp it down maybe. im not sure exactly, i think my analysis is confused about the timeline and i need to think about it more]

i think another aspect is the relative speeds of the various cultural stream churns. "WASSSAAAAAP" was hysterically funny, irl, for like, a couple years probably. budweiser frogs. wheres the beef. etc. these were memes and their only vectors were television, and people discussing and referencing television. the internet overtook memetic speed and breadth in the aughts for nerds, and for normies in the mid-late 10s. so a normie computer meme is like, minions. i have not heard anyone quoting an actual commercial unless theyre referencing an old commercial in like 8 years

im a millennial so im naturally biased towards the era of my teens in feeling like that was the "important' cultural era (it wasnt obviously thats a subjective illusion) BUT i have noticed that even with younger people, even a lot of zoomers, their cultural focus is still anchored in 90s references. every season of drag race and everything on gay/drag media (the source of a lot of primordial cultural material that then dissemenates outwards to straights, cisses and whites) is still dropping references to Jurassic Park, Clueless, A League of Their Own, the Muppets, Seinfeld, Friends, etc etc etc. it's definitely partially my bias as a millennial BUT it also seems to be somewhat true that pop culture had a sort of hard brake at 9/11 and everything before that is now sort of flashbulbed into the cultural mind's eye. zoomers are actively engaged with seinfeld, garfield, and simpsons culture, often on several layers of detachment/reference/irony, but still engaged.

i just thought about what seinfeld memes were like in the 90s vs now. in 2021 you dont see the soup nazi anymore, hes not funny, but in its era "no soup for you" could reliably get you a laugh. now the wider appreciation is for george's "im shifting into soup mode" and the slightly more abstract scrungy cat with baseball george "soup time" image. im trying to remember if i had any interest in or awareness of 30 year old shows when i was a teenager (which would have been i guess MASH?) and the answer is no. i used to watch Nick At Night purely as an historical exercise, i did not in any way identify with or sincerely think Jeannie or Samantha or Dick Van Dyke were funny except in a charming vaudevillian way. there wasnt anyone when i was 15 who thought MASH represented their interests and goals but i constantly see teenagers unironically posting Office content basically daily.

the last paragraph has sort of explained to myself one of my own internal debates, which is "are the people who say generational division is illusionary actually right" but i think theyre wrong. we have class solidarity across all age groups its true, we absolutely do not have cultural solidarity of any resilience, specifically with Boomers. and that actually makes a difference and informs our values! i can meme with zoomers and gen x. boomers genuinely have a different frame of reference. something happened there. as a sort of case study ive been careful to keep my mom updated on youth culture and memes, and her roommate is a very sweet gay millennial nerd. so he showed her Yuri on Ice, which she loved, and whenever we think shed enjoy something we can ask him to download it for her and do all the computer stuff so she can enjoy it. and she keeps up! she gets it. she deploys relatively modern memes correctly. i think shes autistic so her neuroplasticity and adaptability to novel information is extremely good, and her breadth of knowledge about entertainment media in general is massive so she has context for basically everything, so i think that helps. but it does make me puzzled every time i run into a person her age who is absolutely incapable of expanding their vocabulary or being aware of pop culture

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #30: “Universal Remonster” | September 28, 2003 - 11:45 PM | S03E11

Hi! Did you know that many current episode guides for South Park erroneously list the air dates for the episodes Volcano and Weight Gain 4000? This happened because of a printing error on the South Park: The Complete First Season DVD. And, did you know that the moderator who oversees contributions to the South Park wiki is very spitefully keeping this information from you even though I’ve actually provided a lot of proof to this end? Including LIBRARY OF CONGRESS PUBLISHING DATES, TVGUIDE, Newsgroup posts, and stuff like that? “Your argument is going to get you nowhere fast. I suggest you drop the subject.” Oh well!

Anyways!!! This is Universal Remonster, which is a really funny episode that I really love. The Plutonians are BACK, and this time they are stealing the Aqua Teens cable with the help of a Fargate (not a Stargate) and the Universal Remonster, a little cutie made out of TV remotes that wanders through the Fargate and changes the Aqua Teens’ channels. This is the one where they show the Aqua Teens watching a lot of different TV channels that are anchored by puppet stuff. These segments are all hilarious on their own, especially the kids show. “This is your left, that’s your left, this is your right, that’s your right”. It’s that one.

There’s a different episode which also features the educational puppet show, and that episode has one of my favorite lines, where the puppet (voiced by Dave Willis) cheerfully sings “you’re gonna die!”. That’s NOT in this episode. I thought it was, but it’s different. You CAN hear that line faintly in the background of one scene, which is really hilarious and great. One of my favorite moments in the entire show is during the puppet kiddie show where it’s just a brief shot of the puppet swinging his head in and out of frame and the backdrop inexplicably has little handicapped icons rotating in the background. That is like... I guess you could define this as stoner comedy with shit like that but goddamn, that is sublimely hilarious. Goddamn I love this show.

MAIL BAG

Dude, you an ask him anything. There are no rules. You can ask him if he's had sex with a woman. He's answer it and it will piss him off. Give it a shot? It's completely anonymous and he can't do sh*t.

?

If Homer fell into the world of the Aqua Teens in HOMER 3D how long do you think he could survive? About as well as Carl? Better? Worse? Would he just get killed by Master Shake or would home destroy that sick puppy in seconds. Big questions sure, but it's important to know don't you think?

I think Homer Simpsons would make friends with them all and there would be harmony in the Aqua Teen home(r) once and for all :) and then he’d meet Carl and be like “hey Carl, where’s Lenny” and everyone would laugh, except Carl, who would wordlessly slink out the Aqua Teen home and get an AR-15 and open fire on Homer, mortally wounding him, paralyzing Frylock with a bullet lodged into his lower spine. Shake would never be the same. Meatwad would of course bounce back swiftly. The Mooninites would luckily be out of the line of fire and would have no reaction and their lack of response would be the reason for Homer’s otherwise preventable death. Carl would never be seen again, his car found at the bottom of a nearby lake, presumed dead.

I've been thinking about it more an more but FUCK the Lewis Lectures and fuck Jack Black for making it happen. I will never watch Nacho Libre now. Shitty movie anyway. He believe in god in that one.

But he’s a noted orator

whats the most x-rated thing you ever seen a girl do

I am going to give a sincere answer which is your worst fucking nightmare: once I attended a SEXUAL SHOW and I signed a release because they were filming the SEXUAL SHOW so I saw some NC-17 stuff go down and I’m in the background probably grinning like an idiot. I have looked for this footage online and I don’t think it was ever released anywhere. It involved a woman who was briefly twitter famous. Does that wet your beak.

When you get to "The Shaving" episode of Aqua Teen can you review not only Tom Scharpling's book but his entire radio career. This could be a really big deal.

:( I probably will :(

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Duchess Kate sets the record straight on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle 

Page 2: Ben Affleck is wasting away and friends fear he’s taking his new health regimen too far as the six-foot-four star usually weighs 208 pounds but has shriveled to a spindly 165 -- a nutritionist put him on a sensible meal plan but he’s altered it with his own fantastical ideas such as he won’t go near bread and he’s ditched pasta and he’ll eat cantaloupe and blueberries one day and nuts and seeds the next and he’ll only drink boiled water and green tea for 24 hours then break his fast with a small bowl of quinoa -- instead of pumping iron he does exercises using his own body weight like ten-minute planks -- Ben thinks he looks great but his pals fear he’s traded one addiction for another

Page 3: Love-hungry Katie Holmes is thrilled to have a new man in her life but she’s breaking the bank to keep him happy because Katie is picking up the tab wherever she goes with Emilio Vitolo Jr. because it helps her feel she’s in full control of the relationship but Emilio may be taking advantage of Katie’s generosity because Katie has been showering him with designer clothes and jewelry and even paying for a personal trainer to whip him into shape -- Katie enjoys giving her guy things he can appreciate because he’s made her so happy but she may go broke doing it and it’s not like he doesn’t have any money; he’s worth a cool $1.5 million himself

Page 4: CNN rocked by sex scandal -- Jeffrey Toobin’s sleazy sex scandal has rocked CNN but it’s just the latest in a string of scandals at the network 

Page 5: Axed Fox News anchor Ed Henry fought back against his co-worker’s rape charges in a blockbuster lawsuit by handing the court explicit selfies and texts in an attempt to prove their tryst was consensual 

Page 6: Ryan Seacrest is downplaying his latest shocking absence from Live with Kelly and Ryan but the TV dynamo is battling a mystery illness that may force him to sign off for good -- the co-host who is a well known as a workaholic skipped out on the daytime show for the third time this year and used the coronavirus pandemic as his excuse -- Ryan was suffering badly from flu-like symptoms on the weekend before his absences but came back negative for coronavirus however doctors remain baffled by Ryan’s ongoing battles with exhaustion and weight loss and stroke-like symptoms, disgraced perv Bill Cosby’s latest mug shot shows he’s a shriveled shadow of his former self and the fallen funnyman flashed a maniacal grin while refusing to look into the camera in the picture snapped behind bars in September and he’s unshaven and his hair is ratty

Page 7: Lizzo has embarked on a radical vegan diet and extreme exercise program to save her life -- doctor warned the 350-pound singer that her daily intake of 5000 calories a day was a dangerous path to self-destruction and she needed to change her life or lose it and Lizzo finally got the message and is committed to this program but it’s been a living hell for her 

Page 8: After surviving a fiery crash at the Daytona 500 NASCAR hero Ryan Newman is locked in an ugly $50 million divorce showdown with his estranged wife -- Ryan and Kristina Newman split in 2019 after she was caught having an affair with another man and paying her love $450,000 and now Ryan’s lawyers are trying to freeze Kristina who was once referred to as the First Lady of NASCAR out of his fortune -- court papers reveal the two split in July 2019 when Kristina went to live with her boyfriend U.S. Army Captain Joe Schwankhaus who is the Chief Operations Officer of Kristina’s company VRX USA 

Page 9: Ellen DeGeneres debuted a high-flying pompadour hairstyle on her new talk show but the makeover still doesn’t get to the root of her recent problems and although her hair may be rising her show’s ratings are falling 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- pregnant Kelly Rowland, Andy Cohen took his son Benjamin for a stroll in NYC, Will Smith held court in L.A. while shooting King Richard a biopic about the dad of tennis greats Venus Williams and Serena Williams, Angela Bassett caught a drive-in screening of One Night in Miami in L.A. 

Page 11: Grieving Lisa Marie Presley has broken her silence over the suicide of her beloved only son Benjamin Keough saying her heart and soul went with him sharing her heartbreak on what would have been Ben’s 28th birthday and she added she’s dedicating herself to raising Ben’s twin half-sisters and actress sister Riley Keough, Chaka Khan refuses to duo with Ariana Grande again saying she’s not gonna do a song with no heifer -- Chaka and Ariana worked together in 2019 for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- DWTS pro Emma Slater kept a handle on her coffee while steering her e-bike (picture), it pays to be Brad Pitt’s girlfriend as his new squeeze Nicole Poturalski has doubled her modeling fees, dancing siblings Derek Hough and Julianne Hough are out of step over her sloppy personal life and his hot new judging career because these two were supposed to be the next Donny and Marie Osmond but his solo career is exploding while hers is falling apart, Madonna has always been a big believer in astrology but now she won’t even meet with people if it’s not written in the stars and she’s spending a fortune to have an army of people read her charts 

Page 13: Losing his beloved son to cancer has sparked new fears for fragile Robert Redford because Robert has struggled with his own health over the years and losing his son to bile-duct cancer is extremely worrying; he’s already frail and this has friends fearing the worst, Jeff Bridges is confident he’ll win his battle with lymphoma by coupling medical care with a strict vegan diet and chanting and spiritual healing techniques

Page 14: Convicted wife killer Scott Peterson may soon walk out of prison and grisly photos lawyers say could set him free -- following years of appeals California’s Supreme Court overturned Scott’s death penalty and now another appeal is forcing a lower court to reexamine his conviction for murdering seven months pregnant wife Laci Peterson and their unborn son Conner -- if Scott gets a retrial his legal team will be allowed to introduce new evidence including crime scene pictures that Scott’s former defense attorney said suggests Laci’s disappearance was an abduction by a satanic cult 

Page 15: Former child star Zachery Ty Bryan of Home Improvement was jailed overnight and released on $8500 bail following his bust for a fight with a galpal at an apartment complex in Eugene in Oregon -- the drama comes on the heels of Zachery’s split from wife Carly Matros the mom of his four kids

Page 16: Ryan Reynolds can’t wait to film a new rom-com with close pal Sandra Bullock but it’s causing tension with wife Blake Lively even though Blake trusts Ryan and would never forbid him from taking this part but the idea of him getting cozy with Sandra again still makes her uneasy -- now Ryan and Sandra are signed up to do The Lost City of D and despite Sandra’s denials they ever had a romance Ryan is gushing about them getting back together 

Page 17: Isolated and overlooked Today show host Hoda Kotb is being bullied off the morning show because of tepid ratings and the absence of former sidekick Kathie Lee Gifford and Mean Girls treatment by co-hosts Savannah Guthrie and Jenna Bush Hager have pushed the disillusioned anchor closer to the door -- Hoda recently filled out paperwork to adopt a third child and she’s clearly putting more emphasis on family than her career and it sends the signal she isn’t happy with her role and is not thinking of Today as her top priority, trainwreck Matthew Perry is holed up in his new Pacific Palisades beach pad  pounding out an explosive tell-all and his former Friends are quaking about what secrets he may reveal -- Matthew wants to rush the book out while interest in the Friends reunion special which was postponed by the COVID-19 pandemic remains high -- he knows an uncensored account of his time on Friends and his drug issues would be a bestseller and he intends to blow the lid off his on-set romances and address rumors he and Jennifer Aniston were more than friends 

Page 18: American Life -- her tall tale: I have the longest legs in the world 

Page 19: Jessica Simpson has been flaunting her body after dumping a shocking 100 pounds but buddies worry the drastic drop in size isn’t natural and suspect she’s been taking diet pills again and they’re worried this could escalate into a big issue

Page 20: Devastated Reese Witherspoon was hit with a depressing double whammy -- the death of her dog Pepper from cancer and the delay of her long-awaited sequel Legally Blonde 3, Hollywood Hookups -- John Cena and Shay Shariatzadeh wed, Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum split, Cardi B and Offset on again

Page 21: Bruce Willis is back in another Die Hard but this time it’s a commercial for Advance Auto Parts and Die Hard batteries and it’s a clear statement on the state of his career that Bruce has to revisit his amazing past to make a fast buck in the present, Giada De Laurentiis has been given the green light to get married by her 12-year-old daughter Jade -- Giada has dated TV producer Shane Farley for five years and he’s been living with mother and daughter for five months during the pandemic lockdown which gave Jade a firsthand look at what it would be like to have a new daddy and Shane’s passed the test with flying colors 

Page 22: Cover Story -- Prince William’s heartsick wife Kate Middleton is breaking her silence about the royal family’s tumultuous bitter break with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to set the record straight and save Britain’s monarchy and she’s tired of all the rumors and lies and backbiting and after all the drama and negativity she wants to get the truth out there and end this unprecedented crisis that’s endangering the monarchy’s survival -- friends are trying to convince Kate to do an official sit-down TV interview about what really happened between once-inseparable William and Harry and how Harry and Meghan tore the family apart even before they moved to America but Kate is resisting because she fears that could backfire like Princess Diana’s TV tell-all about her marriage to Prince Charles 25 years ago -- Kate had to turn the other cheek often after Meghan joined the family and she offered to help Meghan adjust to royal life from the start but Meghan rebuffed her and Kate in tired of Meghan painting her as the bad guy especially when it was Meghan’s antics that tore the family apart -- Kate also is upset that Harry and Meghan are portraying themselves as victims of a world that’s against them while she and William take on a phenomenal workload to cover the responsibilities the Sussexes left and losing precious time with their own three children and it’s hard not to be bitter but Kate is trying to take the high road and forgive Meghan and move forward

Page 26: With their marriage hanging by a thread Tori Spelling fears Dean McDermott will cheat on her again while filming a new TV show in Canada for six months; Tori wanted to bring their 5 children to Canada with him but Dean put her off saying it would be too distracting -- she’s been a jittery mess and he can’t stand to look at her and he only took this job because they need the money, Melanie Griffith is frustrated with Chris Martin and wants him to put a ring on her daughter Dakota Johnson’s finger -- the couple have been dating since 2017 and Melanie’s fed up with waiting for Chris to pop the question -- Melanie began to lose her patience after the couple reunited following a split last June when Chris won Dakota back with promises to settle down 

Page 28: COVID Vaccines: What you need to know

Page 32: Miley Cyrus claimed she once spotted a spaceship over Hollywood and even locked eyes with an alien but she also admits she’d bought weed wax from a guy in a van in front of a taco shop, whiny Kris Jenner is blaming social media for killing off Keeping Up with the Kardashians after it helped the reality TV clan make a mint

Page 34: Ozzy Osbourne is terrified a doll has cursed him -- Ozzy told son Jack Osbourne on their Osbournes Want to Believe show that Robert the doll was responsible for his recent bad luck and failing health, Tom Cruise and his Mission: Impossible 7 team caused chaos at an Italian hospital by filming there during the COVID-19 pandemic -- Tom and his crew including 100 security staffers plus trucks and other equipment descended on the Policlinico Umberto I in Rome for a week and legions of fans also flocked to the filming creating even more commotion in the streets outside the hospital and adding to the bedlam the production commandeered an elevator drawing criticism as hospital staff were treating 140 coronavirus patients with 12 in intensive care -- filming was done in an administrative section of the hospital but still sparked an official protest as well as complaints from trade union members

Page 36: Health Watch 

Page 38: Superhero screen pals of Chris Pratt rushed to rescue the actor’s reputation after he was mercilessly dragged into a silly social media meme when a Twitter user posted pictures of Chris Pratt and Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans captioned with the instruction one has to go but a flood of responses slammed Pratt as the worst Chris causing his Marvel co-stars to prop him up such as Zoe Saldana and Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner and Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn and Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger also bashed the social media bullies, Matthew McConaughey kept saying alright alright alright to making romantic comedies until the day he was so fed up he turned down $14.5 million to do another one -- Matthew revealed in his memoir that he didn’t mind making a string of mindless rom-coms because their paychecks rented the houses on the beach he ran shirtless on but he eventually wanted to try something else so he turned down a big payday so he could get more serious 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Drew Barrymore 

Page 47: Odd List

[thesinglesjukebox]

BLACK MIDI - DUCTER

[6.00]

We blurb with a magnificent purpose...

Tim de Reuse: I somehow missed the huge amount of hype these guys have generated, even though on paper they're the kind of thing I might never shut up about: you got your Post-Punk, your No Wave, your clattering drums, your divisive vocalist, your confrontationally asymmetric album cover -- hey, sign me the hell up! Oh, but I haven't been let down this hard in a good while. Geordie Greep's vocals are an easy first target; on "Ducter," in particular, he sounds less like a vocalist with an idiosyncratic style and more like he's putting on a goofy accent. But more fundamental problems exist beyond Greep's affectations: it's all so dreadfully clinical! It's the unflinching minor-key tension and the vaguely bleak lyricism, void of levity or self-awareness or even a single structural surprise. The antiseptic production saps all energy from what might have been cathartic, noisy climaxes. Even when they're trying to fire on all cylinders, though, their devotion to showing off their technical chops trumps their willingness to really cut loose. It's too prickly and cerebral to get comfortable with but too self-serious and straight-laced to overwhelm -- on a line between math-rock dexterity and punkish aggression, stranded in vacillatio. [3]

Alfred Soto: Flummoxed by the historical weight of their record collections, critics of Black Midi's debut haven't published reviews so much as works cited pages. The latest hypes are no less comfortable with noise than Tortoise, and the vocals gobble-gobble like Reagan-era Pere Ubu -- that's all I'll proffer. "Ducter isn't more "difficult" than other performances by acts besotted with going from I to A while foregoing B. [6]

Joshua Copperman: Things that didn't make it into my PopMatters review of Schlagenheim: It's algorithmically generated for people that claim they don't like how Algorithms Have Ruined Music Consumption. It's Alt-J for the Dark Prog era. As such I will defend Dan Carey's production - a Dave Fridmann psychedelic type type would have made the whole album unlistenable, if possibly even more appealing to those types of listeners. Carey doesn't prevent this song from going overboard at the end, but he allows the performances to just exist as they are, even as the recording undersells Morgan Simpson as a drummer. It certainly helps that this song has some of the best lyrics on the record, in that it has discernible lyrics, though I imagine most will be put off by That Voice. The whole record is complicated to properly assess, but songs like this suggest that greatness is in their reach. [8]

Katherine St Asaph: The Pitchfork review for Schlagenheim describes Black Midi as such: "They are a band for whom references become the main talking point--a chilling thought for anyone who prefers not to think about music through the lens of dudes prattling on about other dudes in older bands. All the indie rock tropes of old are summoned: exclusion, referentiality, insularity, recalling a time in the '80s and '90s when the underground just covered each other all the time." This sounds like my absolute worst nightmare, so I was surprised to not hate "Ducter," nor find it all that inaccessible. The main guitar is its own sort of hook, propelling the track forward and anchoring it to 4/4 much like the percussion anchors "Full of Fire" by The Knife. The tempo and register shifts remind me of a couple Throwing Muses songs, maybe "Speed and Sleep." And the vocal, while obnoxious, isn't obnoxious in the way of most indie dudes who audibly don't value or give a fuck about singing, but in the way of a clearly trained vocalist who knows and executes the exact sound he wants, even if that sound is Tommy Wiseau psyching himself up to cover Diamanda Galás. (I've deliberately chosen reference musicians who aren't dudes, prattling or otherwise. Everyone complains about women musicians only being compared to other women; Black Midi are a prime example of a band of men compared [by everyone] only to men, in a way that should be glaring.) I do wonder whether the oft-touted "difficulty" of the band will end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. [7]

Iris Xie: I really like songs with grooves that end and rebuild and are constantly transforming, they just feel so organic and with a sense of breathing. "Ducter" is a very pleasant song to listen to, even if on the surface to an uninitiated listener, it's "out there" with the jazziness and then the noise rock. The vocals are really playful, impassioned, and punctuate between the instruments with a well-targeted sensibility, and they wrap up together into a cohesive piece. The transition at 3:49, when it suddenly drops down to a single guitar and what sounds like space commands, before it goes suddenly full-tilt into power mode, is especially fun and buoyant in its energy. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I'd argue that Black Midi's debut shows signs of greatness without being particularly great itself, but it's no surprise that publications are eating it up given few rock bands this decade have such a rich pedigree. Personally, their music primarily recalls '90s post-hardcore bands while the singer is brazenly obnoxious (and consequently admirable, usually) a la Pere Ubu, The Monks, and Sun City Girls. "Ducter" doesn't quite convince me of its runtime, but the austere, syncopated freak outs are mildly thrilling. I would've preferred a more cacophonous racket. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I'm a lover of kinetic, mathy guitars, but "Ducter" gets better when it strays from its core riff. Maybe it's a matter of simplification-- the guitar pattern threatens to envelop the overly wordy lyrics on the verse, but as both drill down to their core theses on the refrain, they start to work in harmony. It never quite gels together-- but I'm not sure if unity is the goal, anyway. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[20kv22home]

We’ve Been Framed (It Wasn’t Me)

It took us a total of two and a half days to frame up the exterior walls of the Revised Home. Under the expert tutelage of Dr. Professor Steve Long, we managed to get all the walls level, plumb, and attached to each other. The full construction was not without a few hiccups, Steve came in and he caught us red-handed, installing the C-header opening on the wrong side of the wall.

Picture this: we were following the fastening patterns in compliance with Fortified Standards - using Simpson Strong Tie bolts, angles, and straps. It may seem like overkill, but such protective measures will keep the home safe and sound in the event of a severe storm or natural disaster. We diligently added all of the necessary fasteners to each framed wall before standing it up and securing it to the anchor bolts in the perimeter curb.

We even brought in the shower before we finished securing the final wall, because it doesn’t fit through the door.

We even caught it on camera, via our site GoPro.

There were marks on our shoulders, and legs and knees from all of the splinters and such.

Chelsea heard the words that Michael told her, “Who misplaced the palm nailer?”

She said, “It wasn’t me.”

We broke the longer walls into three pieces so that we could actually lift them up ourselves. But we still needed help! Luckily, on a Friday afternoon, one of our favorite blog readers stopped by just to say hello and also to help us lift, rotate, and place the front wall.

Thank you to Adam Levet and all of our other drop-by helpers (Claudia, Caleb, and Gavin), without whom we would not have been able to frame our home.

Shaggy and Yours,

The 20Kv22 Team

[yourboatholiday]

How to get to St Maarten and St Barths?

If you are curious to savor and immerse yourself in these two fascinating worlds that combine Caribbean lifestyle and cosmopolitan European influence, follow us in this short article where we will talk about St. Maarten and St. Barths.

Located just 13 nautical miles from each other, these are two top destinations for Caribbean tourism, considered two true natural jewels to be explored both by land and by sea. St. Martin, with its dual personality (French in the north and Dutch in the south) and St. Barthélemy, aristocratic and international. Two locations renowned for their nature reserves, bays of rare beauty and uniqueness, typical markets, and lively nightlife.

CHARTER ENQUIRY FOR ST BARTS & ST MAARTEN

How to get to these two islands?

Although separated only by a short stretch of sea, the two islands differ greatly from the point of view of connections with the rest of the world. In fact, if Saint Maarten is considered one of the best gateway to the Caribbean, Saint Barths has preferred to maintain a certain distance also from the point of view of air and sea connections.

The Saint-Barthélemy airport is in fact too small to accommodate large aircraft. For this reason, to reach the island it is necessary to make an intermediate stop to change means of transport. Most direct flights here, therefore, stop in nearby Guadeloupe or in St. Maarten itself. Alternatively, you can always use the local ferry network that connects each island to the others.

On the other hand, as we said, the island of St. Maarten has an important international airport that has made it one of the busiest destinations in the Caribbean. The airport is located in the southwestern part of the island, in the Dutch ​​influence area of the island (the northeastern part is instead part of the French overseas territories).

Related: 4 Days Yacht Charter Itinerary in St Barths and St Maarten

Named after Princess Juliana of Holland, Princess Juliana International Airport (SXM) is also a popular island tourist destination. In fact, this airport is known all over the world for its runway that begins close to the beach of Maho Bay and which allows you to watch spectacular airplane landings directly from the beach, simply while lying in the sun.

St. Maarten International Airport is connected by flights with the most important European cities, with the main cities of the United States and Canada, with numerous countries in South America, and with the most important islands in the Caribbean.

After talking about how to get there, we present below one of the hundreds of possible itineraries that can be organized by sailing with a catamaran or a charter yacht:

Day 1

Simpson Bay – Cupecoy Beach – Rouge Bay

In the stunning Simpson Bay lagoon, your crew welcomes you onboard your luxury superyacht before setting sail for Cupecoy Beach which creates a beautiful golden glow on its reddish-brown rocks at sunset. Drop anchor in the enchanting Rouge Bay where soft white sand and smooth rocks alternate for an intense swim before the night stop.

Day 2

Rouge Bay – Le Galion – Marigot – Grand Case

When your catamaran overlooks the beach of Le Galion, the windsurfing paradise, it means that you are close to Marigot, the capital of the French area that is certainly worth a visit as is Grand Case, a small village where the Creole Rock islet with its crystal clear sea is perfect for diving. You can have dinner with your loved ones in one of the typical local kiosks before mooring for the night.

Day 3

Grand case – Île Pinel – Orient Beach

Reach the French side of St Maarten and dock near the beach of Île Pinel with its white sand tongues and transparent sea to snorkel with your friends or family. Taste typical dishes aboard the yacht as you sail to the paradise island of Tintamarre, where you can spend a relaxing afternoon anchored off Orient Bay Beach.

Day 4

Gustavia – Corossol

Early in the morning, your captain will sail to little Gustavia, the capital of the exclusive St. Barthélemy to admire the beautiful cottages and shop in his boutiques. In the afternoon, relax on the bay of the fishing village in Corossol and enjoy an aperitif on the beach before dining in an elegant local five-star restaurant.

Day 5

Corossol – Colombier – Île Fourchue – Plage des Flamands

Early morning sailing takes you to Colombier beach, protected within the Nature Reserve of St. Bartholomew, famous for the rich marine life that makes it the perfect place for snorkeling, as well as in the waters off Île Fourche. In the nearby Flamands Beach instead, stop to sunbathe enjoying its white and soft sand as if it were talcum powder.

Day 6

Plage des Flamands – St. Jean – Anse de Grand Cul-de-Sac

This day is dedicated to water sports, first on the bay of St. Jean and then on the Anse de Grand Cul-de-Sac where the sea of ​​the Antilles is colored with all shades of green-blue, in an area protected by a park marine life that protects the underwater life and the turtles that live here. Go snorkeling or go out to spot the whales that populate the area in some months of the year.

Day 7

Anse de Grand Cul-de-Sac – Gouverneur

Slow navigation accompanies you in the early hours of the morning as you have breakfast and cross the southern coast of the island of St. Barths, benefiting from all the pluses that your yacht can offer. Choose whether to stop for a picnic on the wild white coast of Anse du Grand Saline bay or to lie on the sands of Gouverneur, known for being dazzling white.

Day 8

Gouverneur – Little Bay Beach – Simpson Bay

The final destination of your trip passes by the calm waters of Little Bay Beach. Return to Simpson Bay Marina, leave your boat, and end this unique journey by shopping in the tax-free shopping area or one of the famous and elegant restaurants.

Contact  now YBH Charter Brokers:

You can contact us by sending an email at ask@yourboatholiday.com or by phone, calling +39 33436 00997, available also on WhatsApp for both calls and texting.

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[concerthopperblog]

Can't Miss Acts From the Americanafest 2021 Lineup

After missing 2020 due to COVID-19, The Americana Music Festival and Conference, or Americanafest as it's known to fans, is back for 2021 and had dropped the initial lineup of 165 of an expected 240 acts scheduled to play the festival, held Sept. 22-25 in venues throughout Nashville. While the number of days the festival is held may have shortened they haven't skimped on the quality of acts at all. In fact, the quality of the initial lineup plus the shortened number of days likely means a lot of lineup conflicts for attendees.

But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Every year one of my top 2-3 favorite acts has been someone playing before the band I was there to see. In previous years, Americanafest fans have gotten to see Sturgill Simpson play at the tiny Basement, Yola in the back yard of a record store, and a newly sober and reinvigorated Jason Isbell along with Amanda Shires sitting in with numerous artists. So who should you see this year? Whether it's discovery, rising stars, or legends you want, Americanafest has you covered. Here are some of my recommendations.

Christone “Kingfish” Ingram To call Kingfish a “rising star” at this point seems reductive considering how far the 22 year old has come in just the last few years, but there is nothing to make me think he's done rising. If you like BB King, Robert Johnson, or Buddy Guy, you're going to want to make sure you're at Kingfish's set. This is the future of the blues.

Emma Swift You'd think a festival called “Americanafest” would be a pretty nationalist affair, but there you'd be wrong. The festival has always played host to artists from across the world, with extra large contingents from England and Australia (where, because they have good sense to ignore that mess on American radio, they just call it “country music”). An Aussie artist who has become an Americanafest mainstay is Emma Swift. After power pop icon Robyn Hitchcock championed her on social media, Swift capitalized on her bigger audience in 2020 with Blonde on the Tracks, an album of Bob Dylan covers featuring Hitchcock on guitar.

Allison Russell This is my bet for the Americanafest artist who takes the biggest leap forward in the next year. Already an Americanafest veteran with Birds of Chicago and Our Native Daughters, Russell released her solo debut Outside Child in May and it's already making appearance in mid-year “favorites” lists, including my own. Miss her Americanafest show at your own risk. By next year, she may be out of the clubs and into The Ryman.

Jason Ringenberg If you want to start a vigorous conversation with a group of strangers at Americanafest, just start talking about where Americana came from. While its influences are as wide as the genre itself, I have long maintained that the core “put the genres in a blender” essence was birthed in Nashville's '80s rock scene and nobody exemplifies that scene more than Jason Ringenberg who was the twangy rhinestoned Nashville anchor to Warner Hodges' screaming rock guitars in Jason & the Scorchers. Now a solo artist, Ringenberg has retained that country meets rock meets punk soul that made him so popular then. If you want the most entertaining Americana history lesson you'll ever get, don't miss this show.

Kiefer Sutherland Yes, THAT Kiefer Sutherland. Sutherland has released two Americana albums, 2016's Down in a Hole and 2019's Reckless & Me and yes, they're pretty damned good. At any other festival, I'd say expect a lot of “let's watch the guy from Young Guns sing” gawkers but Americanafest fans are notoriously unresponsive to (and dare one say, cranky about) gimmicks so the fact that Sutherland made his way onto the lineup is testament to the fact that he's serious about his craft.

Pine Hill Haints If there's one band on the lineup that you can point to and say “there's Americana”, it's Pine Hill Haints. Calling their style “Alabama Ghost Music” the band are musical archaeologists, unearthing “dead” songs from across country, folk, Celtic, rockabilly, and pretty much whatever other roots-ish genre happens to have a convenient graveyard and transforming them into a kind of Southern Gothic Appalachian Psychobilly Punk... thing. And damn am I totally there. You should be too.

Jill Andrews Fun fact (well, fun for me anyway): Jill Andrews was the first artist I ever interviewed in person after embarking on this “long strange trip” into music journalism. It was at Bonnaroo 2010 and I was already a fan from her work with The Everybodyfields. She didn't disappoint, as an interview or an entertainer later that day. I've seen her a number of times since and she just keeps getting better. Andrews is one of those artists who the majority of even roots music fans probably don't know, but those who do, REALLY do. Consider this me letting you into the secret society. Jill Andrews will blow your socks off if you let her. Let her.

Rainbow Girls My “discovery” band in 2019 was California's Rainbow Girls. Considering they opened a bill featuring the two acts I was most anticipating that week, Yola and Molly Tuttle, making an impression at all is testament to how good they were, enough so that I mentioned them in my recap article as one of the Best Representatives of Americana's Next Generation. They're skilled instrumentalists, but goofy and awkward in an endearing way. They weave together harmonies that are airtight, but make dad jokes between songs. They are exactly the right mix of musicianship and fun that you want in a live act.

That doesn't even scratch the surface, but that's Americanafest. In 11 years of coverage, I've seen forgettable bands, but I've never seen a bad one. Check out the poster above for the full lineup and the slideshow below for some pictures from previous Americanafests. If you'd like to attend, head to Nashville Sept. 22-25 but first go here and get your tickets before they sell out!

[tm0500042]

Research Proposal w/c 8th March

Considering one of two options for my Research Report both extended essays

Idea #1

 How will Britain’s new relationship with the EU affect the distribution of European Animated films?

 When the British public hears the term “European Animated film” they might think of something more “artistic”, “refined” and perhaps “cerebral” than the average American production.

But a large number of such productions are low-mid budget features aimed at competing with mainstream American films on similar terms. These have a reputation for being “cheap”, and are often released as “programmers” in the UK during half-term breaks and school holidays, prior to getting DVD releases, Streaming etc.

Andrew Osmand’s review of Robinson Crusoe in Sight & Sound perhaps surmised the general attitude to these films ““It’s very much aimed at children, with none of the surprise adult appeal of Disney’s Zootropolis – is the new offering from Belgium’s nWave studio. While nWave may never get name recognition, parents with young children have likely seen some of its cartoon wares, such as the lame Fly Me to the Moon (2008) and the better The House of Magic (2013)… However, Robinson Crusoe is still an infinitely finer kids’ cartoon than the recent, wretched Norm of the North.”

The market for this was perhaps not huge; a 2015 report by the European Audiovisual Observatory noted that European Films only got 20% of the market for animated films in Europe.

On the flip-side of this are UK-produced animated films which aim for the same market. The report notes that as of that time UK animation with 53.5 million admissions abroad UK Animation had the best overseas admissions of any animations produced in Europe between 2010 and 2014

Although the Brexit deal should theoretically mean that distributing European animated films in the UK and vice versa should not become exponentially more complicated, there are complications;

·        ICAEW notes that between 2007–13, UK businesses received over €20m in EU funding to support the release of European films in the UK, and that almost €45m was spent to make UK films available to European cinema audiences. (https://www.icaew.com/archive/technical/media-and-leisure/entertainment-sport-and-media/film/implications-of-brexit-on-the-uk-film-industry)

·        Screen Rant suggests that knock on effects on the strength/weakness of the Pound as currency could deter distributors from buying European films due to the increased cost (https://screenrant.com/brexit-uk-film-tv-industry-impact/)

 Pros

·        Relevant, contemporary subject

·        Offers considerable opportunity for primary research (e.g. interviews of distributors)

Cons

·        Pandemic means that distribution is being affected in ways that are not necessarily related to but difficult to isolate from the impact of Brexit. In response to the pandemic film distribution and the operation of cinemas is changing in ways that may be temporary or permanent. As such it is possible the report may become dated as soon as it is published

·        Secondary research may rely on sources which are heavily influenced by confirmation biases.

Idea #2

 What do different portrayals of the “future” in animation (e.g. The Jetsons in the early 60s vs Futurama in the early 00s) tell us about the culture that produced them?

The Jetsons was an animated sitcom which initially dealt with a “traditional” White American family unit (plus their robot maid and dog) in the year 2062 airing in Prime Time for a single season in 1962-1963 season. After that it had a long run on Saturday morning television and other outlets primarily as children’s programming, before being revived for new seasons and a movie (which dealt with then contemporary environmental concerns) in the mid-late 80s.

Futurama premiered in 1999, and deals with a non-traditional family unit (Humans of different races, characters from alien races invented for the series and a robot with only one familial connection between all of them) in the year 3000. It aired in Prime-Time from 1999-2003, before being revived for a series of Direct to Video movies and new TV shows.

William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, who created The Jetsons, although they had taken a significant risk by establishing a studio to produce TV animation were very much part of the American Animation Industry Establishment by 1962, having won seven Academy Awards while producing Tom & Jerry cartoons for MGM in the 40s and 50s. Matt Greoning, creator of Futurama, in contrast, was initially established as an underground cartoonist, before being plucked from relative obscurity to produce interstitials for The Tracy Ullman Show which span off into The Simpsons. By 1999 The Simpsons was one of the most popular and acclaimed TV shows of all time, and had made untold millions in merchandising, but was still seen as somewhat “subversive”.

 Early reviews of Futurama noted the lineage between the show and The Jetsons; e.g. Ray Richmond in Variety.

 1962 in America:

·        President JFK set the goal of landing on the Moon by the end of the 60s and John Glenn becomes the first American to orbit the Earth in February of 1962

·        Cuban Missile Crisis when USSR plans to deploy Missiles in Cuba brings the world to the brink of world war, the US blockades Cuba and the USSR agrees to dismantle Soviet Silos Begins On October 15th ends on November 20th

·        Wall Street Experiences the “Flash Crash of 1962”; JFK responds with tax cut, hoping to incentivize large, self-financing companies. Little effect on interest rates or public confidence

 1999 in America:

·        Excitement and concern about the new millennium

·        U.S. GDP growth was steadily accelerating. a continuation of a trend that the economy had been experiencing for the previous few years

·        The unemployment rate drops to 4%, the lowest level since January 1970.

Science fiction at the time of The Jetsons was generally optimistic and hopeful about the future, anchored by a particular aesthetic which would ultimately become retro

By the time of Futurama, images of the future in popular culture had become increasingly cynical and dystopian

Pros:

·        Lots of ground to cover

Great opportunity for secondary research

Cons:

·        Limited scope for Primary Research

·        To what end am I conducting this?

[obradsimpson]

Love — Brad Simpson ✿

  prompt: you were hopelessly in love with bradley simpson   words: 1.6k   warnings: n/a

There had been no defining moment when you had fallen in love with him. It had been a process, something that wasn’t recognizable until the sheer amount of it caused you to stumble on your own, two feet.

Throughout the two year development, of course, there were memories a bit more memorable than others.

The day was less than mediocre. The clouds had decided early that the day wasn’t for them, opening up their bellies and unleashing cool, fat drops upon the city of London. The sun seldom made an appearance, seemingly content with hiding in the shadows of the clouds. The wind provided a frigid breeze, causing noses to become rosy and jackets to be zipped up to the neck.

You had taken shelter in a rather fair-sized café, one that had become a favorite of yours. You frequented enough that the majority of the employees knew your order without a word. Others had also taken refuge in the small shop, some actively conversing while others sat alone with their personal devices.

You fell under the category of the latter, with earphones slipped into the shell of your ears and a notebook lying beneath your wrists. Since your arrival, you had been considering various ideas for an analysis paper — one you weren’t particularly excited for. Narratives had always been easier for you, while contemplating the meaning behind a few pieces of writing weren’t.

Lyrics tumbled from your lips in a hushed tone every few minutes, occasionally stumbling and missing a word here and there.

When you looked up, hoping to find a distraction of some kind, the sight of a curly-haired, dimpled-chin boy stood in front of you. One eyebrow was raised as he pointed a finger in the direction of the vacant chair sat across from you. You tugged one cord from your ear and asked, “Sorry, what?”.

He smiled. “Mind if I sit here?”

“Sure, yeah.” He settled his attention on the barista behind you, most likely waiting for his drink to be finished and his name called.

Like many others, when a pretty boy sat feet from you, your heart beat a little faster and you couldn’t resist the temptation to tuck any stray hairs behind your ears. With his cologne drifting past and his smile still so fresh, it only became more difficult to sit so close to him.

Abruptly, before you could somehow embarrass yourself, he spoke. “I have to be honest.” You lifted your gaze from your notebook filled with scribbled, half-assed ideas, thoroughly surprised that he had spoken again.

You nodded. “Okay.”

“I’ve been sitting back there,” he paused and hooked his thumb somewhere behind him. “For almost an hour waiting to see if you were meeting someone here.” His fingers tapped a beat into the table, something that sounded vaguely familiar but one you couldn’t place. “I’ve run out of patience and decided that even if you were meeting someone, they’re an absolute dick for making you wait.”

You laughed, both in disbelief and surprise. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone.” You gestured towards the door. “Just trying to get out of that weather, yeah?”

He nodded, bottom lip jutting out in a considerate pout. “Well, that’s great. I mean, not the weather but y’know—,” You laughed once more, only finding this boy more charming as he continued to speak.

“No, no I understand.”

A name was shouted then, drawing the boy’s attention. “That’s me.”

You smiled and lifted your gaze as he stood. “Brad, was it?” He nodded and you offered a hand and then your own name.

Friendship with Brad was concurrently incredible and complicated.

Bradley was either regularly free or consistently occupied — there was no in between. When the rearmost was the case, there was no communication between the two of you. It was an incredibly frustrating friendship.

There was no explanation between the two. When three months passed and Brad suddenly appeared into your life once more, he acted as if everything was perfectly normal.

How could you be expected to spend almost every waking moment with someone, only to not hear from them for weeks? How could he send you cheeky text messages that made your heart flutter, only to cut all contact off with you for months? How could you deal with seeing his smiling face through video calls every night, only to end the call unsure when the next would be?

How could you be expected to be okay with that?

That was how you had appeared outside of his flat, your hoodie pulled past your ears and obnoxious, blue cabin socks pulled past the ends of your sweats. It didn’t take long for someone to open the door, one who was not Brad.

If it hadn’t been for the loud music in the next room, you may have spoken. If it wasn’t for the alluring voice feet away, perhaps you could have contained all of your confusion and hurt.

Of course, you hadn’t.

The singing abruptly cut off as you stepped inside, blood rushing into your cheeks at the sight of the group squeezed into Brad’s little living room. Brad himself held an acoustic guitar between his fingers, his eyes wide and reminding you of a rabbit looking a coyote in the eye.

Ironically your first thought was that it was unsurprising that he could sing. Every other thing was perfect about him — why wouldn’t he be able to sing?

However, despite the half-dozen pairs of eyes on you, you asked the question that had seared itself into your skin. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re always gone?” Brad swallowed and blinked. You tugged the sleeves of your hoodie past your hands, using them as some sort of anchor so you could continue. “I don’t think it’s fair that you keep acting like that isn’t wrong. I know we’re just friends but—,” you paused, feeling the confidence beginning to drain from your system. “It’s not fair.” You finished, unable to stop from whispering your last words.

Every eye turned to Brad then, the majority of their jaws dropped and curiosity sprawled across their eyes. He set the guitar down and stood, mumbling something about excusing himself before leading you up the stairs and into his room.

A flowered bandana kept his hair from his eyes, unfortunately allowing you to see each and every emotion that flashed through those dark eyes. He softly closed the door as you sat on his bed, limbs stiff and embarrassment coursing through you.

“I’m sorry, I should have called—,” Brad held a hand up and gently smiled.

“No, it’s fine.” He dropped beside you, causing the bed to dip and adjust. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to ruin this, y’know?”

“Brad—,” You began, only to quiet yourself when his gaze met yours.

“I’m in a band. The lads downstairs are in it with me.” He smiled once more, but it again didn’t reach his eyes. It was clear that he wasn’t expecting this to have a happy ending. “We do shows. Go on road trips and stuff. Sometimes they’re a bit long.” His eyes fell to the floor, eyes unfocused and tongue swiping out to wet his lips. “I didn’t know how you would react. I didn’t want you to think that I’m this big celebrity when I’m.. Just.. Me.”

After a brief moment of silence, “I don’t care who you are. It doesn’t matter to me if you had five dollars or five thousand in your bank account.” You settled your hand on the top of his, smiling as he curled his fingers around yours. “I just care when you disappear off the face of the planet for Christmas with no goodbye or promises that you aren’t dead. I had a great present and couldn’t even give it to you.”

He released a breath of a laugh and nodded. “No more disappearing.”

Neither of you spoke then, simply allowing the presence of the other to comfort you. You dropped your head onto his shoulder, his warmth and familiar scent welcomed.

“You’re an amazing singer. You know that, right?”

He grinned and craned his neck to look at you. “Thank you.”

There was something that Brad was particularly quite good at. As marvelous as he was at dancing (a personal favorite), napping at the worst possible times and choking down an entire bag of Goldfish in one sitting, there was that one thing that had your toes curling and breath catching.

Brad was most likely the best kisser you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

It was quite the indescribable thing. There was no one reason as to why but more so the experience of kissing him.

The way he seemed to always smile beforehand, eyes falling to your lips and eyes softening before wrapping a hand around the curve of your jaw. He’d gently guide your lips towards his own, only pausing once his nose gently bumped against yours and there was only a breath in the space between you.

Sometimes he would say something, usually a quirky comment or cheeky statement that never failed to get you to grin. At times it was the sheer stupidity of it, while others it was a comment that made your cheeks feel warm and your chest feel a little tighter. He’d kiss you then, lips soft and his thumb tracing circles just below your jaw.

Occasionally, neither of you bothered to pull away until it was absolute must to take a breath. It was an unnecessary thing — breathing.

So when people ask if you’d be able to answer your children when they ask when you fell in love with their father, there was little doubt in your mind.

As it had taken some time, but damn were you in love with those eyes and that smile.

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6

Without dipping into political waters, The Simpsons season 32, episode 6, “Podcast News,” rides the wave of fake news into a less likely swamp: True crime reporting, and the amateur sleuths who’ve gone pro broadcasting it. Not on broadcast stations, though, those are outdated, and rely on the painstaking drudgery of the finding of facts, which are terrible for ratings. The episode opens in a state of frantic paranoia, eschewing the couch gag entirely, which always bodes well.

It’s 2 a.m., time for Homer’s ham in the Springfield household, but unease is in every shadow. A wide-eyed Lisa is prowling the house looking terrified. “So many lies, so many lies,” she says, setting the tone for the entire episode. When Marge comments that Lisa looks tired, the girl adds to the suspense and confusion by revealing “Looks are deceiving. Nothing is as it seems.” These are all delicious clues, and while they seem to grow in the dire severity of Lisa’s situation, they are also like the string on a bow being drawn back on the arrow of a punchline. “Did they change climate change again,” Homer asks, but sadly, no, it’s still a horrid torrid zone of pain outside. Perfect for that 2 a.m. ham.

The Simpsons routinely open their episodes strong, but this is a particularly suspenseful one. Lisa compounds it by trying to confound her parents, which lets the show weigh in on ASMR. It works, the mere crinkle of paper sends Homer into a deep sleep. This also lets the audience know Lisa’s paranoia is coming from the internet, and not the usual suspect of social media. If that’s not enough, Marge notices the music coming out of Lisa’s buds is in a minor key. Marge’s connections of logic always come on a satisfyingly skewered path. Her conclusions may or may not be correct, but the journey through her thought process is always a worthy trek.

Lisa is exhibiting signs of true crime podcast addiction long before she confesses her need “to know who killed everybody.” The buildup is executed so well by the time she’s all murdered out, everyone watching is ready to go along for the ride-along. And with titles like “Murder Most Stabby” and “Killing Her Softly,” who could blame us? By morning, Marge is hooked. “We have much to discuss,” Lisa says, welcoming her to the genre’s dark web.

Marge and Lisa hysterically, on both senses of the word, capture the true crime obsession. Lines like “Drops of blood you can explain, but drops of brain?” and “How could a woman with four PhDs be so dumb?,” Simpsonized they may be, sound like the kinds of things people scream at their devices while watching these shows. Some people will look at a neck and wonder what ties goes on it, other people look at a neck and say I’d like to choke that.

Abe’s introduction is also a different twist on his usual character, and slightly unexpected. Homer is just finishing telling Bart about how lonely and boring grandpa is, when Abe proves him wrong.  Most of the audience knows the tie on the doorknob is a sign against intruders before Homer and Bart are averting their eyes from octogenarian canoodling behind it but it is worth the payoff.  “If the bolo is hanging, the dentures be clanging,” Abe’s explanation, is hackneyed but clever.

Morgan Fairchild is the perfect choice for Vivienne St. Charmaine, and the “Falcon Landing” title of the former superstar actress’ most famous show is a good play on Fairchild’s best-known nighttime soap. Vivienne, who is drawn to resemble Morgan, appears to really like Abe, and not just for his long and drawn out stories. She calls him her senile old sex machine, and says he’s so sweet he “should come with an insulin pump.” The episode also pokes at old people romance, suggesting a couples’ colonoscopy and a romantic dinner cruise make for a perfect evening. Lucky for the audience, it actually sets up an ideal scene for a crime which can pull the two narratives together.

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Abe becomes the subject of a slew of podcasts after Vivienne disappears with a splash. This isn’t the first time the weight of the media has settled on a member of the Simpson family. “Homer Badman,” from season 6, culminated in a mock TV-crime reenactment show called “Homer Simpsons: Portrait of an Ass Grabber,” when all he wanted was the prized Gummy de Milo candy stuck on a young woman’s jeans. We believed him then, thousands didn’t, but he is, after all, the kind of guy who falls asleep at the sound of crinkled paper. Abe doesn’t even need that. It makes sense he’s so suggestible he’d believe other people’s testimony over his own memories, just like he believes Shampoo Shuttle is the future of hair care. That and because he’s forgotten most of his memories along with his hair.

Chief Wiggum delivers a great deadpan saying how rude it is that Abe won’t confess. But the line about Springfield Police force’s Hand Push Test registering the result as “No Such Test” is the subtle winner. Also, his theory positing to “catch a murderer, you have to set them free to murder again” is both ridiculous, and frightening.

It is sad the only reason we know Grandpa didn’t do the actual murder is because he doesn’t have that kind of follow through. Homer starts off with disbelief, but only because fathom Abe ever being a person of interest, never, not once. But after he thinks about it, Homer begins to think his father is “capable of doing anything up to and including murder.” The podcasts are insidious, and their influence comes in very subliminally. Their force is almost portrayed as an unseen enemy.

It is very funny how Abe is convinced of his own guilt by episode 9 of Kent Brockman’s podcast “Guilty Grandpa,” although in episode 6, he thought it might have been a hot-headed deckhand. But it feels good to know he was actually more of a dupe than a criminal. If he was a better criminal, he would have remembered his crime at least. It is also very poignant when Abe says how he believes Vivienne is going to be the last love of his life

The reason “Podcast News” works has less to do with The Simpsons staying up to date with entertainment technology and more with what they are tackling. They have been hit and miss with some of their political humor, as the show’s been walking its own landmine between what pushes boundaries and what hits the wrong buttons, but they are always spot on with social commentary.

The kinds of paranoia which are so addictive in the true crime genre hook people from both sides of the scale. Yes, there is always good evidence ignored, and bad cops to ignore it. And, yes, hosts like Tabitha Shingle (Christine Nangle) are so dry the audience is constantly parched for any wet, bloody detail. But the episode is also a cautionary tale.

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The nightly reports from anchors like Kent Brockman are becoming yesterday’s news. We get this inadvertently from Yeardley Smith, who plays herself as the host of the podcast “Smalltown Dicks” and nowhere else. They are very self-conscious about using her, and get in some self-referential wordplay, but her concerns are valid. The podcasts can tout doubt with statements like “90-year-old people don’t just stop breathing,” or use Abe’s World War II heroics, as Johnny Flamethrower who said the fires were telling him who to burn, against him.

Of course, everyone loves DNA swabs, and spatter analysis, but every quickie podcast dramatization starring Stellan Skarsgård is at the cost of “painstakingly accumulated uncertainties.” And with that, out-of-touch news anchors like Kent Brockman can bid farewell to relevancy. The episode also gets in a dig at NPR, which they say means No Possible Revenue.

“Podcast News,” named for the comedy drama Broadcast News, is a good parody of the podcast craze. In spite of its similarity to “Bad Homer,” the episode is very current, a little tricky, and comes at us from a different kind of angle. The Simpsons have given us stories about Abe’s shady pasts. He’s been around almost longer than anyone but Monty Burns, so he has a lot more past to shade. It’s to his credit, Abe can bear the weight of the blame, especially at his age. The most frightening concept of the episode, however, is the level of personal information can be gleaned from colonoscopy technology. Filled with singularly funny one liners, “Podcast News” manages to keep a sense of tension throughout, and ends on a satisfying morally ambiguous note.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[abcnewspr]

"This Week" Listings: Sunday, May 17, 2020

MEDIA ADVISORY

For Sunday, May 17, 2020

HEADLINERS

Peter Navarro

White House Trade Advisor

Sen. Bernie Sanders

(I) Vermont

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

POWERHOUSE ROUNDTABLE

Chris Christie

(R) Former New Jersey Governor

ABC News Contributor

Rahm Emanuel

(D) Former Chicago Mayor

ABC News Contributor

Yvette Simpson

Democracy for America CEO

ABC News Contributor

Sara Fagen

Republican Strategist

ABC News Contributor

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sunday on “This Week”:​ Peter Navarro, Sen. Bernie Sanders

ABC News Chief Anchor George Stephanopoulos goes one-on-one with White House Trade Advisor Peter Navarro to discuss the government’s response to the the COVID-19 pandemic. Plus, Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., joins exclusively for his first Sunday morning interview since dropping out of the presidential race.

And the Powerhouse Roundtable discusses all the week’s politics with former New Jersey Governor and ABC News Contributor Chris Christie, former Chicago Mayor and ABC News Contributor Rahm Emanuel, Democracy for America CEO and ABC News Contributor Yvette Simpson, and Republican Strategist and ABC News Contributor Sara Fagen.

Like “This Week” on Facebook here. You can also follow the show on Twitter here.

###

ABC News Media Relations

Caragh.E.Fisher@abc.com 212.456.3437

Vincent.A.Steves@abc.com 212.456.7157