#drop in anchor installation

[daydreams-after-dark]

Good things come in small packages Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: Mini Han x fem reader

Synopsis: One year ago you purchased a ‘miniature companion’ named Hannie. He’s the size of a Ken doll but alive and horny. But something unexpected happens on your one year anniversary.

Word count: approx 7.4 k

A/n: SURPRISE!!! I know I said this was being released approx next Monday, but.... I wrote it quicker than I expected. I want to thank you for your patience with this installment. There was a point there where I almost didn't have it in me to write it. But your words of encouragement helped spur me on.

I hope that you enjoy part two of this fic. There's a lot of emotions, sickly sweet moments, and a surprise character features too.

CW below the cut

C/W: unprotected p in v sex, oral sex, rough sex, angst, brief themes of depression, fear of suicide (just a fleeting thought), size kink?

Previously:

"Hannie?" You whisper, lowering the lamp, letting it drop to the floor.

"Why is everything so small? Wait. Why am I naked? Noona, have you been playing with me in my sleep?" He looks up at you confused and worried. "Noona, why are you looking at me like that?"

His eyes land on his pajamas, torn to shreds next to him. He picks up the scrap of fabric that was his pajama top, and his eyes widen. "Why are my clothes so tiny?"

"Hannie," you take in the man before you, naked and taking up most of the bed. "You're big."

------------

Han just stares at you blankly. Then realization hits him, causing him to spring out of bed and look around the room frantically.

"Hannie?" You say again. "Hannie, look at me." You take a step closer to him and he finally looks at you. It's as though your gaze anchors him and he appears to calm down somewhat. His eyes soften and he looks at you like he's looking at you for the very first time, just as you are with him.

You already know he has an incredible physique. Broad shoulders, slim waist, toned muscles. But standing before you right now he’s breathtaking. But you don't love him for his body. You love him for his heart.

Standing fully naked in front of you, he seems less real than when he was small. How can this be happening? It's impossible. Right?

"Noona?" His eyes drop to where your gaze has fallen. Right on his cock, still semi hard from his morning wood. It's the most delicious thing you've ever seen. So much bigger than you expected too. You can't help but imagine all the things you want to do with it. You have imagined it plenty over the past year. How you want him to fill you up, or make you choke on it. How it tastes. How it feels in your mouth.

"Hey!" he covers himself with his hands. "I'm going through a crisis and you're staring at my dick!" He exasperates. He narrows his eyes. "Oh my God, Noona? You know what this means?" His eyes light up with excitement.

"I do, Han. Trust me, I know. But first we need to figure out what is going on. Why this has happened." You take another step towards him, closing the distance, and with shaking hands you reach out and touch his chest. You feel his heart pounding and it makes your heart beat faster too.

He's real.

"Do you think my wish has finally come true?" he whispers. "I wish it every night before I fall asleep. That I'd wake up and be human sized."

You look up to meet his gaze. His gorgeous big brown eyes. "I wish it every night too. It's just... this doesn’t make any sense.” You pause. “Wait. The manual. Maybe it says something in that?”

Without giving him any warning, you snap into action and disappear into your walk-in wardrobe, returning with a pair of sweatpants and an oversized tee.

"Here. Put these on. I can't be getting distracted." You say and hurry out of the bedroom.

----------

"I thought you said you'd studied the manual?" Han says suspiciously whilst chewing on the scrambled eggs and toast you quickly cooked for him. You were quite happy to forgo your breakfast so you could search for answers, but his stomach rumbled so loudly you couldn’t ignore it.

While he scoffs down his breakfast, and you're still in your pajamas, you pore over the instruction manual spread open on the dining table, looking for any information that might help.

"Well... I kind of only read about how to keep you alive. You know, like how often I needed to feed and water you." you reply casually. Inside, you wish you had read the rest of the information. Maybe you would have had a heads up about this and you could have prepared yourself?

"Do you think I'm going to be like this permanently? Like the first year was a test of your commitment or something? Maybe I could learn guitar? Or cook? Or-"

"Okay. I've got something." You interrupt. "It says here: At twelve months of ownership, your companion will transform into typical human size-"

Han's eyes light up excitedly. "Wait! So this means?"

You hold up your hand to hush him. "There's more." You say. "He will remain in this state for 48 hours, before returning to his original size."

“Oh.” Han’s fork clatters on his plate. You look up at him as his expression changes from excited and hopeful, to absolutely crestfallen and deflated.

"I'm so sorry, Hannie." you whisper. You know how badly he wants to be big. You watch as he swallows a lump in his throat, and without a word, he stands and walks into the kitchen to look out of the window above the sink.

————

Forty eight hours? So It's not permanent? What kind of fucking idiot is he to think he'd ever be able to be a human? He tries to fight back the tears as he looks out of the window.

It's a beautiful, sunny morning, and usually on a day like this he'd climb up onto the windowsill and watch the world. There's a little strip of shops across the street that he especially loves to watch. His favorite is the flower shop. Observing the customers going in and out buying flowers and bouquets for loved ones. They’re such pretty colors too, the flowers. He’d love to be able to buy flowers for you.

A lady about your age works there, and sometimes another man is there too. Han doesn’t see him there often, but knows he’s someone special the way the shop owner and him look at and hold each other. Maybe he travels for work? He's often wondered as he sits on the windowsill.

He's broken from his thoughts when he feels your arms wrap around his waist and you lean against his back. His eyes close softly, and his body relaxes as he savors the feeling of being embraced in this way for the first time.

"Hannie, I know we don't have long, but maybe if we see it as a gift?"

He turns in your arms to face you, and wraps his own arms around you. You feel so good like this. In his arms. Holding so much of you in one go. Feeling your entire body pressed against his. It's better than he ever imagined.

"You're right." He says finally. "We can't waste a minute of this precious time. There's so much I have to do to you." His dick twitches when he sees your cheeks flush. He knows you're not shy, but if you feel anything like he does right now, then you’d have to be trembling on the inside.

His hand slides up to hold your jaw tenderly as he brings his lips close to yours. Sure he's kissed you, parts of your lips - both sets even, and other parts of your skin. But your lips in their entirety? He feels so scared, so nervous. What if he's a shit kisser?

"Stop thinking, Han Jisung." You say and connect your lips to his.

His lips fit yours perfectly and he melts into them with a moan. He kisses you slowly and carefully and a warmth spreads throughout his body. He hardens immediately when he feels your tongue slip into his mouth to find his. Your tongue, the one that’s licked his entire torso in one sweep, is currently inside his mouth. 

He allows his hands to wander lower to cup your ass. He loves your ass and often stares at it when you're doing housework in your tight little exercise shorts. Another moan escapes him when he pulls you even closer against his body. Touching so many parts of you all at once has him feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible. What will it be like when he’s inside you as well? He has to know.

He lowers his hands a little more to lift you up and you wrap your legs around his. Then he’s carrying you - actually carrying you - to your bedroom.

Your room is still filled with the warm sunlight, and Han is glad because he’ll be able to see absolutely everything. He lays you gently on the bed and kisses you deeply, then sits up to kneel between your parted legs.

“I think these need to come off.” He announces, flicking the waistband of your pajama shorts.

You smirk. “You do, huh?”

“Yes. We need to be naked.” He starts tugging off your clothes, then his own.

You look stunning beneath him, and you feel the same way about him. The sunlight hits his honey skin perfectly and you feel a surge of love for the man above you.

This is actually happening, is the thought going through both your heads.

Han gulps as he drinks you in with his eyes. Where to begin? He decides to start with your breasts. Holding them in his hands, massaging them. He loves the pretty noises you’re making as he kneads them. He leans over to take a nipple in his mouth, flicking the tiny pebbled nub that he normally has to stretch his mouth around. It goes straight to his dick and he can’t help but grind his cock against your core. This is too much already. He sits back up between your legs to try and regain his composure. He doesn’t want the first time he has intercourse to be over before it begins. To bide some time, he slowly runs his hands down your stomach and massages the tops of your thighs while his eyes lock onto your pussy. Home.

His favorite thing in the world is to eat you out, and he’s excited to taste you. Firstly, though, he is dying to explore you with his fingers. He drags his thumbs through your folds. “Wet for me as usual, Noona.” He states, glancing up to see your flushed cheeks. He chuckles to himself knowing how flustered he’s making you.

“Hannie…always soaked for you.” You say with a breathlessness to your voice. 

He rubs circles on your clit with his thumb whilst using his other hand to spread you wide. 

“I need your fingers inside me, Hannie.” you wiggle your hips to give him the hint.

“Like this?” He asks innocently as he slips two fingers into you. You moan in relief, making him smirk again.You’re so tight just around his fingers that he can’t imagine how you are going to fit his cock. He partially withdraws his fingers then pushes them back into your warm, wet, cunt. He repeats this a few times, your moans and ‘yes’s urging him to go a little harder, a little deeper. He remembers watching you finger fuck yourself and that there’s a spot inside you that when you stimulate it makes you come. He needs to try it. 

He angles his fingers a little differently and fucks you with his hand. The response is immediate. Your pussy begins to make those lewd, but arousing sounds, that he has heard when you’ve made yourself cum on your dildo. Your back arches off the bed and your thighs start to tremble. He knows the signs of you having an orgasm. He’s made you come so many times. But not like this. He leans over you to slide his tongue into your mouth, capturing the moans from your orgasm while his fingers work you through it until you’ve settled back to earth. Stunning. Erotic. Perfect. That’s what you are to him right now.

Now he can eat you out. Lick up all that arousal leaking from your delectable pussy. He nestles between your legs, his agonizingly hard cock squashed between his stomach and the mattress. He knows it’s leaking all over your quilt.

Firmly holding your thighs apart, he licks a long stripe from your vagina to clit. You taste perfect. He is careful not to go too hard or too rough. When he’s tiny he needs to use all his energy and strength to get you off, but right now even the most delicate of licks or suckles has you whimpering for him.

He spits on your clit and then sucks it off. Then moves lower to slip his tongue inside you. He has to hold you still as another orgasm starts to build for you. He loves making you feel this way.

He needs to make you come again, so he slips a finger into your pussy while he laps at your clit. He feels you come on his face, shaking, quivering, covering him in your juices. Yep. Still his favorite thing to do.

He removes himself from between your legs to hover over you to take you in an urgent kiss, smearing your arousal all over your lips. His dick throbs.

“Hannie,” you pull away from the kiss. “I really need you inside me. I need it so much it hurts.” You look up at him with desperate eyes.

“Me too, Noona.” He gulps. He’s so fucking scared and hopes you don’t notice.

“Are you nervous?” You reach up and stroke his cheek. 

Of course you noticed it. You always know how he feels. He nods. “Yeah. I am actually. I am a virgin you know?” He chuckles awkwardly, like you didn’t know he’d never actually fucked before.

You wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him close. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let it slip in. Dicks usually find a way into a pussy.” You whisper in his ear.

He trusts you and grinds the length of his cock against your slipper pussy. It’s already beyond incredible feeling your soft skin against his obscenely hard cock. You both moan equally in pleasure and the frustration of needing more, so he shifts his hips to allow the tip of his cock to prod at you. 

“Yes!” You cry out against his ear. “Fuck…Hannie…need you. It’s so close…” 

All it takes is a slight adjustment of the angle of his hips and he feels the tip slip inside you. 

“Please…hurry.” You sob. “I love you so much, Hannie.”

“I love you too, Noona.” he says with a shaky breath, and then he’s inside you. All the way to the hilt. You both moan in relief. 

“You’re so tight.” he declares, his eyes rolling back into his head. He’s not going to last even a thrust. It’s already too good. But he begins to move anyway, eventually finding a slow, deep rhythm.

He was wrong. This is his most favorite thing to do. Be buried in your pussy, with your arms and legs wrapped around him as you moan his name over and over. Definitely his favorite.

“Faster…please… harder…oh Hannie…fuck.” You claw at his back trying to pull him even deeper. He obliges, picking up the pace, fucking you harder. He kneels between your legs again so he can see all of you. The sight is erotic. Seeing all of you at once, with your legs folded and pushed up high and wide. Your breasts bouncing with every thrust. And the expression on your face as you look down at where you’re connected almost makes him fill you right then and there.

“I’m coming, Hannie… I’m…don’t stop! Come with me. Come inside me!” You’re already trembling beneath him, and there’s no way in hell he’d be able to stop himself coming inside you even if he wanted to. He’s about to burst. Not just his cock, but his heart too. He loves you too much. He takes his thumb back to your clit and focuses on bringing you over the edge. He feels your walls squeeze tight around him like a vice, and it sends him over as well. With a few last shaky thrusts, he releases himself inside of you with a deep moan.

“Noona… Fuck…” he pants and collapses on top of you. “That was the best feeling in the whole world. I don’t know how anyone gets anything done when they could be doing that!” 

—-----------

The day passes far too quickly as you fill the rest of the day with lovemaking, food, drinks, and even more lovemaking. You both don't want to miss a single moment of each other. Night comes too quickly, and despite trying your best to stay awake, sleep eventually takes you both as you lay in his arms.

-----------

The sun streams through the window waking you from your sleep. You feel Han's arm laying heavy across your waist. It wasn't a dream. Your eyes snap open to find him fast asleep, mouth open, and still very much human size.

You watch him until he finally stirs and opens his eyes. "Am I still big? Are we still naked?" He asks sleepily.

You grin in response. "Yes. You're still big. And we’re still naked. " You lean down and kiss his cheek.

"So we can have more sex today?" he adds, rubbing his eyes.

"Anything you want, my love." You say and let your hand wander down to rest on his erect cock. Flicking the sheet off of him, you begin to kiss your way down his body, savoring every inch of his skin, ensuring you remember this moment forever. You pause when you reach his cock, admiring the way it looks. Fucking perfect. Mouthwatering. You waste no time taking him in your hand and bringing your tongue to the underside of his shaft. 

He releases a sharp breath. “Fuck, Noona. Please…are you gonna suck me off? Please suck my cock, Noona.” he begs, lifting his head and looking down at you. You give him a sly look and swirl your tongue around the tip, and he throws his head back down onto the pillow, surrendering to you and your plans.

You take your time teasing him, alternating between kitten licks to the tip, to long languid strokes of your tongue along the shaft. His breathless pants turn to whimpers, then finally a deep, relieving groan as you sink your mouth over him. You take as much of him into your throat as you possibly can, and even though your eyes start to water, you take him even deeper.

“Baby, Noona…This is…your mouth… How can you even breathe right now?” He can barely get the words out. “So good… ngh…s’good.” he squeezes his eyes closed trying his hardest not to thrust into you. His hands thread through your hair and rest on the back of your head. You hope he pushes you down further so you take absolutely everything, and when he does, you feel your cunt tighten and your arousal leaking between your legs. 

Your lips are pressed to his pelvis and he isn’t letting you go. You are finding it hard to breathe, but you don’t care. You want more. You feel him getting close when his cock hardens even more and he starts thrusting into your throat. Yes. This is what you need. 

Han gets noisier as he approaches his climax, then you feel it. The familiar taste of his hot cum hits the back of your throat. He cries out then stills, releasing his hands from your head and relaxing into the bed.

As usual, you swallow every last drop. There is so much more compared to normal, the fluid coating the back of your mouth, then you make your way up to kiss his lips. 

Han grins at you with hooded eyes. “Fuck, Noona! That was so fucking goog.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve pictured doing that for you, Hannie.” You smile and curl up to his side.

“Noona?” he says, stroking your arm.

“Mmm. Yes my love?” you hum.

“Do you think…after we fuck again, we can go out? There’s something I want to do.”

You turn your head to gaze at him. “Of course. Anything you want, my love.” you say again, but this time with a curious tone.

-----------

"Are you sure I don’t look weird?" Han isn't convinced that the sweatpants and tee you have given him are gender neutral.

"You're fine, I promise. Just trust me?" You reply, locking your front door.  You take his hand in yours and begin to up your front path. As you reach the sidewalk, he begins to have second thoughts. Sure he's been out of the house with you before. In your handbag, hidden away. Safe. Unseen. Maybe this isn't a good idea after all, he thinks to himself. Maybe he shouldn't have such lofty ideas? But he's not going to have another opportunity to do this. So he has to be brave.

“”What would you like to do, Hannie?” 

“There’s something I’ve thought about doing for a while now. Buy you flowers.” He gestures to the flower shop across from your home. 

Your eyes light up and a smile washes over your features. “I’d absolutely love that!” You squeeze his hand and look up at him. “I love you Hannie.” You say and kiss him on the lips.

“Noona, y-you can’t do that!” He stutters.

“Do what, sweetie?” You tease, and kiss him again. This time a little longer.

He pushes you away gently. “You’re getting me hard.” He whispers sternly and looks around to make sure no one can notice.

“Okay, Han. No public display of affection. Got it.” You pinch his chubby cheek.

The flower shop isn't very big, but it manages to accommodate so many flowers and bouquets that fill every corner and surface. Han takes in the floral scents, and the vibrancy of the colors, and smiles when his eyes land on what he's looking for.

"Can I help you with anything?" the shop owner asks cheerfully.

"Yes, can I please have the bouquet of purple tulips?" he says proudly.

The owner, who's name tag says 'Jules', takes the bouquet back to the counter to ring up the price. "That will be $60."

That's right. He has no money. He closes his eyes for a moment, berating himself. Of course he can't pay. He has no bank account. No identification. He's not a citizen of... anywhere really. He's an alien.

"That's okay, I've got it. He forgot his wallet today." You step in from out of nowhere and take care of paying for the flowers.

Ashamed by his inadequacy, Han steps away from the counter, and busies himself by looking at the corner with some potted houseplants. He quite likes the houseplants you own, often sitting underneath the leaves pretending to be somewhere outdoors. He chuckles to himself at how silly that sounds when movement behind one of the pot plants catches his eye.

Intrigued, he crouches down and ever so slowly nudges one of the plants to the side. His eyes widen and he almost stumbles backward when he sees a little man, the size of a Ken doll, looking up at him.

The same man that he’s seen kissing and holding Jules the shop owner multiple times.

Han blinks, not believing what he is seeing, but when he opens his eyes the little man is gone. Where did he go? Did he imagine it? He starts shifting plant pots around, desperately trying to find him.

"Hannie. I'm done now." you call to him from the shop entrance.

----------

"Hannie, what's wrong?" You ask as you both step outside onto the sidewalk. "Is it about paying for these?" You hold up the tulips.

"No, Noona. It's not that." He turns to look back at the shop.

"Han? You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?" You press your hand to his forehead. Sweaty and warm. Is he getting sick?

"I'm fine. Just... the forty eight hours are coming to an end tonight." He frowns.

You drop your head. You have been trying your best not to think about it. Today was so perfect, spending time with Han like a proper couple. It felt so heartwarming watching him with his big, curious eyes as he interacted with his surroundings.

You take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the flowers. "What made you choose these?" you ask him curiously.

"Well," He starts, as you begin to walk back towards your home. "From what I read on the internet they are a symbol of perfect love." He smiles sheepishly. "It also said that they symbolize rebirth, as well as being known to help us let go of the past and embrace the future with renewed optimism and hope." he adds, proud to have remembered the details he'd read.

"I think that sounds perfect." You smile warmly and kiss him on the cheek.

---------------

Dinner is a quiet affair. The quietest it’s ever been. Usually at dinner time you share your day with each other, listening intently, offering advice or support, or whatever each of you needed that night. Tonight you’re both thinking about the same thing. That your time together like this is coming to an end. Neither of you want to talk about the elephant in the room, so you both stay silent. 

After a while you see Han set his knife and fork on his plate and stand up, walking around to your side of the table. You look up at him and he offers his hand out to you. Wordlessy, you take it and let him lead you to your bedroom.

He’s not gentle as he pushes you down onto the mattress and practically rips your clothes off before climbing on top of you and taking you in a rough, heated kiss. He shoves his tongue past your lips and you thread your fingers through his hair to pull him into an even deeper, even more feral kiss. He pulls away only to remove his own garments, then he forces your legs apart so he can line his cock up to your entrance. 

Without any preparation, or warning, he pushes the entire length of his cock into you in one go. You cry out at the intrusion, but part your legs further. You need him inside you, to consume you.

He’s careless with his thrusts, and his hands grope and squeeze, bruising your flesh. There’s a look of anger and resentment in his eyes. You know it’s not because of you, but at this whole situation. It feels so unfair to have a glimpse of how life could be, and know that it’s never going to be like this again. You love Hannie no matter what. But this feels so good too. Why? Why let you experience this, only to have torn away so quickly?

“Are you gonna remember me like this forever, Noona? How full I make you? How deep inside you I am? How hard I can fuck you?” He growls. “Tell me. Tell me you’ll never forget it. Cos I’m never going to forget how your pussy feels around me. Squeezing me tight. Tell me I’m your favorite. Tell me I feel better than anyone before me.” 

Han’s words are aggressive, and so is the way he’s fucking you. But his voice is full of heartbreak and angst. You want him to give you everything. His sadness, his anger, you want him to take it out on you. 

He thrusts his hips even harder against your body, and his cock slams into your cervix, causing you to cry out his name.

“Hannie!” You choke. He doesn’t slow down or go easy on you. You can barely breathe. 

“Say it… please…Tell me your mine.” he sobs, but he doesn’t slow down.

“I’m yours, Hannie…forever.” you whimper.

He leans down over you, caging you underneath him. “Come for me. Come on my cock.” He growls, his hot breath against your ear. “I wanna feel your pussy choke me one last time.”

It’s too much and you come hard around him, sobbing against his shoulder.

“That’s it…Yes…Fuck! I’m coming too!” He grunts as he thrusts his hips a few more times and empties himself inside you.

You stay like this for a while. Breathless and sweating. Eventually, he lifts his head and looks down on you. “Did I hurt you?” He asks with a concerned expression.

You shake your head. “It was passionate. I needed you to fuck me like that.” You sigh. He closes his eyes softly in relief, then withdraws his softened cock from you. 

Neither of you move to clean up, or even get a drink, or even say another word. You simply lay in the comfort of each other’s arms as though the world was about to end.

---------

You fall asleep first, but Han can't sleep. He doesn't want to sleep. So he watches you sleep instead. He cups your cheek. He needs to burn the image of this into his brain, for tomorrow his hand will barely be able to wrap around your pinky finger. These past forty eight hours were a dream come true, but he’s not sure how he’ll get over it either. 

-------------

You wake to find your bed empty. "Han?" You call out and search the bed, lifting the blankets. Sometimes he ends up tangled in them, but he isn't there.

You hop out of bed, slip on your robe and head out into the kitchen. You find him sitting on the windowsill above the sink. Small as ever. You feel a sadness in your chest and bite your lip as you approach him. "Hannie?" You say softly, leaning your arms on the counter next to the sink so your face is close to him.

"I'm okay Noona." he sighs, but doesn't turn to face you.

"You want me to fix you some breakfast before I go to work?" You ask hopefully, but he shakes his head.

The usual conversation that you have when you get ready for work is replaced with a heavy, awkward silence.

"You know, Hannie, you are perfect to me no matter what. Your personality, your heart - it’s bigger than that of any man in the world.” You say as you turn to leave the kitchen and head out the front door for work.

--------------

Han hasn’t left the windowsill in days. He hasn’t washed, he's barely eaten. The spark you love so much in him has dimmed, and you’re frightened that it won't come back. It's not like you can get him therapy. No one knows about him. No one can know about him.

Every day you leave for work not knowing what you'll find when you return home. What if he’s left? What if he's-" No you won't let yourself even go there.

Those forty eight hours of him being big was not worth it, and if you could take it back and go back to how things were before, you'd do it in a heartbeat. You just want your Hannie back.

--------------

Han knows you love him. But he can't help but feel depressed. He feels worse now than he has ever felt in his entire, albeit short, life. It's like him becoming big was some sick, cruel joke. Like it was to taunt him. To show him how good it could really be, how good it could really feel, to be a human, just to snatch it away from him.

It isn't just depression that's consuming him. It's an obsession with the flower shop and that little man he had seen that day.

For ten days now he’s stared at the shop hoping to catch a glimpse of...something... anything that might give him answers or closure. They know something. He can feel it.

Then finally it happens. Han hurries to a kneeling position, face pressed against the glass to catch a better look.

The man is back. As a human sized man. Han guesses he's seen this man maybe four times over as many months. He stands in the doorway waving to a customer before going back into the shop. It definitely looks like the little guy he saw standing by the pot plant.

You probably imagined it. You were probably over excited from the sex with Noona. Can sex make you hallucinate? Han isn't sure of anything anymore. Except that the miniature man was either imaginary, or, he has the answers Han's looking for.

-------------------

You leave work early and pick up a cheesecake. Han hasn’t eaten in days and you hope his favorite dessert might perk him up a little bit, even if it’s just a sugar rush.

You open your front door kicking your shoes off, and make your way upstairs to your main living area. The house is eerily quiet, even with a depressed Han it's too quiet. Something is off. Something is wrong.

“Hannie?” You call out. No answer. You place the cheesecake box on the counter. He’s not on his windowsill. Maybe he’s asleep somewhere? You check your bedroom next. He isn’t there either. You search every room, calling out his name.

Nothing.

He’s gone. He’s actually gone! Why? Why would he leave? Where would he go? What if he’s hurt? What if he’s - you gulp. You start to panic and begin to check everywhere again. Maybe he fell into a drawer? Maybe he’s stuck somewhere?

Again, nothing.

He really was gone.

—-----------

Han has never ventured out of the house by himself before. Well this month has been full of firsts, he thinks. Why not climb down the stairs and sneak out of a slightly ajar window?

He jumps down from the window sill and tumbles into the garden, surprisingly unscathed. He is on a mission and nothing is going to stop him.

Determination takes over any fear of being eaten by the neighbors cat, or being runover by a car, as he carefully treks across the road to the flower shop.

He hasn't even planned what he’s going to say. What if he's mistaken and the owner faints? What if she kills him? Or kidnaps him? Tortures him? No. He shakes his head. The lady was really nice the other day. People love to go to her shop. It'll be fine.

By the time Han reaches the threshold he is hot, sweaty and very thirsty. He looks up to looming doorway and swallows hard. Here goes nothing.

He slips inside, carefully seeking the cover of a nearby flower pot. The shop looks gigantic compared to last time he was there.

He notices something that he missed the last time. That the entire shop is set up suspiciously accessible for him. Like it was made for someone his size. Strings from buntings and signs dangle in such a way that Han would be able to reach just about any shelf he wished. Some shelves look to have mini rope ladders, and there seems to be plenty of places to hide and watch customers, or your Noona.

He quickly climbs up one of the rope ladders where he can get a better view of the sales counter. Jules is there finishing serving a customer. But where is the man?

Han doesn’t have to wait for long. The man emerges from a back storeroom with a gift bag for the customer.

“Oh Minho! You’re back in town!” The customer exclaims in a high pitch voice. “How was your work trip?” She gives this Minho a kiss on the cheek.

“Adventurous as usual.” He winks at her.

“Well it’s good to see you.” She takes her flowers and gift bag, smiling as she leaves the shop.

“Take care Mrs Maple!” Minho waves after her then turns to Jules. “Finally, I’ve got you alone, kitten.” He smirks and closes the gap between them. “Maybe we could close up for lunch? Head back into the storeroom?” He kisses her neck.

“You’re always so horny, Minho.” She teases. “Don’t think I don’t know you masturbate behind the flower pot while I work.”

Wait! What? Han’s eyes almost pop out of his head and he stumbles knocking an ornamental garden gnome off the shelf.

Jules and Minho’s eyes land on the smashed gnome. Then they lift their gaze, eyes landing straight on Han.

Fuck! He freezes to the spot.

The pair look confused and make their way over to where Han is standing pretending to be gnome himself, and crouch down so they are eye level with him.

“It’s the customer from the other day.” Jules remarks. “He didn’t have any money.” She adds.

Han crosses his arm and pouts.

“He’s the one I told you about. The one that saw me on the shelf.” Minho adds.

“Excuse me?” Han interrupts. “I was hoping you could help me. You see, I live across the street with my Noona. She was the woman I was with when I came in the other day. And…anyway… I sit in the window sill and watch the flower shop. Not in a creepy way.” He is sure to add. “And I’ve seen him…Minho, or whatever your name is,” he points to the man “a few times… Then when I came in, he… he was small.”

“And you were big.” Minhos’s eyes glisten and he rubs his chin deviously. “And now you’re small!”

“Exactly! And I need to know… are you one of those miniature companions like me? And if so, why do you keep getting big? And… and is it the same for all of us? Is it different depending on the batch? Do some of us get big and others don’t?” Han’s out of breath by the time he’s finished.

“What’s your name?” Jules asks kindly.

“Han.” He replies and plops down, crossing his legs.

“Han?” She repeats thoughtfully.

“Do you recognise the name, babe?” Minho enquires.

Jules nods. “Yes. I believe he was also part of the range I purchased you from. The Skz range. I don’t think he was ready yet. How long have you been with your owner?”

“Just on a year.” He replies.

Jules and Minho exchange looks, then turn back to Han.

“Well, Han, buddy,” he says. “I think we might be able to answer your questions.”

—-----------

Eventually, after tearing your house apart in the hopes to find Han and failing, you flop yourself on your couch feeling empty and numb. You don’t even notice that your doorbell is ringing, but then a loud knock on the door makes you almost jump out of your skin.

“Yeah okay, I’m coming!” You call out as you head downstairs. With a sigh, you open the front door to find the woman who owns the flower shop across the street, and a man who you’ve seen a few times around the place, standing there. The woman holds a basket in her hands, and the man holds an amused look on his face.

Great. You’re not in the mood for interaction.

The woman’s eyes widen when she sees your tear streaked face.

“Uh, sorry to bother you. I’m Jules. From the flower shop across the street.” She smiles awkwardly. “And this is my, um, partner, Minho.” She gestures to the man next to her.

You continue to stand there, saying nothing.

Jules coughs, clearing her throat. “We’ve brought your Hannie home.” She declares.

“Noona!” Han’s head pops out of the basket.

Your hand comes up to cover your mouth. “Why do you have my Han?” You choke. Your eyes dart from Jules to Minho, confused and scared. Han is supposed to be a secret. You can’t have outsiders knowing about him.

“I went to them, Noona. They have something to tell you! Can’t you let us inside already?” He whines.

A whining Han is a good sign. You nod and usher them inside.

————-

You’re back on your couch, this time with Jules and Minho on the couch across from you, and your little Hannie on the cushion next to you. You’re relieved he’s back, but also so mad at his reckless behavior. He could’ve gotten himself killed. He and Minho are enjoying a piece of cheesecake, like this is some normal afternoon gathering of friends.

“So you have something to tell me?” You say looking to Jules.

“We do. You see, Han came to us because he saw my miniature companion in the flower shop the day you both came in.” She starts.

Your eyes widen. “You know about them? You’ve got one?”

Jules nods. “Yes. Minho here is my companion.”

“Hi.” He waves.

“He’s your companion?” You arch an eyebrow.

“Yes, he’s got his monthly grown up pants on at the moment, but most of the time he’s small like Han.” She nods her head towards Han.

You shake your head in disbelief. “One minute Han is doll sized, then suddenly out of nowhere he’s big.”

“She really didn’t read the manual, hey Han?” Minho chuckles.

“Then I find out there’s another tiny man running around across the street?” You continue, ignoring Minho’s remark.

“Hey, I’m far from tiny!” Minho turns to you with a deadly glare.

“Calm down sweetie.” Jules pats his thigh. “He’s not really cold and cynical.” She reassures you.

“He’s cocky isn’t he?” You say lightheartedly to Jules but your eyes are firmly on Minho. “You know you were able to read their traits on the website and select accordingly?” You say jokingly.

“That’s why she chose me. For my cock-iness.” Minho leans back into the couch.

“He was the only one who was cat friendly. I have three cats, you see.” Jules playfully punches Minho in the arm.

“Hah! You love my cock-y personality.”

“I do.” Jules admits and leans against him.

The pair are fascinating, but you need to know more. “What did you mean by monthly grown up pants?” You ask.

“Once a month I grow into the size of a human for two days.” Minho shares. “It’s a fault in the Skz manufacturing process.”

“You didn’t receive the recall email from the company?” Jules turns back to you surprised.

You shake your head.

“There was a form in the back of...the manual...that you could send in so you’d receive any important information. Like recalls and such.”

“Noona only read up to the part where it says I can ejaculate.” Han pipes up, his mouth full of food.

“Hannie! Don’t, you’re embarrassing me. Sorry, he hasn’t been socialized.” You say bashfully.

“I think these two will become best friends.” Jules laughs looking at the two men. “Han did say this whole human size situation came as a surprise to you both.”

“I feel so stupid. I didn’t read the whole manual.  I’m such an irresponsible companion owner.” 

“There was a recall on the Skz range because they were only supposed to grow big the once, not once every month. Purchasers were given the option to return the companion if they chose.”

“And she chose to keep me.” Minho adds.

“Would you have sent me back, Noona? If you’d known about the recall?” Han looks up at you with his boba eyes.

“Of course not. I love you. I just wish I’d known all this so we could have been prepared. Looked forward to it, even.”

“It’s okay, Noona. I think it has worked out for the best this way.” He looks at each of you. “I’ve finally got friends!” He says gleefully.

Jules and Minho leave shortly after, to have some alone time before his “grown up pants become too big”.

Han is exhausted from his adventure, and just wants to snuggle up on your chest and watch anime. Neither of you say much. There's no point in being angry at him for venturing out alone, and you're just happy to have him back in one piece.

Neither of you are really watching the anime either. Instead you're both smiling inwardly, imagining what life is going to look like from now on.

—————-

A little update on our y/n and Hannie:

Over the next year, Han and Minho have become inseparable, spending almost as much time with each other as they do with you and Jules.

You’ve introduced Han to your family. He was so nervous at first, but once he realized they approved of him, he was okay.

He learned to play guitar, and even commissioned a guitar maker to make a scaled down working model of an acoustic guitar so he can play whenever he feels like it.

------------

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little fic. I loved writing it, even though it took me so long to have the energy to put the ideas into words. Thank you so much for reading. Your support encourages me to keep writing.

If you enjoy the more plot driven, lovey dovey fics, I have a few others on my main blog @moonlightndaydreams and I think I will probably cross post this fic as a oneshot over there to keep all my longer Hannie fics together.

Sorsha x.

----------------

@kayleefriedchicken @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @katsukis1wife @jeonginsleftcheek @ihrtlino @ivydoesit23 @gnab-nahc @skzstan12345 @youcanstayyeah @binnieonabike @hanniemylovelyquokka @moasworld @binniesbabe @courtnort455 @yongbokkiesworld @felixleftchickennugget @bangchans-angel @heerinnie @meilix

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @dool-set-net @redstayrosie @mintymintmint251 @katsukis1wife

[pbaz7]

ONE SHOT: ART INSTALLATION

paige x azzi

word count: 4.5k

A/N: This one is short because I was about to crash out earlier and I didn’t want you guys to feel the effects of my own personal crash out so I wrote somethin short to keep it cute. I hope you enjoy 🥹🫶🏼

—————————————————————————

Paige was the perfect girlfriend to Azzi. At least, she tried to be. Anything Azzi wanted—or even thought about wanting—Paige made sure she had it. Whether it was a rare pair of sneakers she mentioned in passing, a book collection, a favorite meal after a tough practice, or a night in when the weight of the world felt too heavy, Paige anticipated it all. It wasn’t just about being thoughtful; it was about proving, in every way she could, that Azzi was her priority.

Anytime Azzi needed help, needed support, needed anything, Paige was there. A bad game? Paige had a motivational playlist waiting and all the right words to get Azzi out of her head.. A bad day? Paige would drop everything to sit by her side, holding her hand until Azzi's world felt steady again. Paige prided herself on it. She knew how lucky she was to have someone like Azzi—brilliant, beautiful, and steady in a way that anchored her.

But more than that, Paige loved Azzi. She loved her so deeply it used to scare her sometimes. Paige would give her the world if she asked for it. And, truthfully, even if Azzi didn’t ask, Paige would find a way to give it to her. Azzi deserved everything good life had to offer, and Paige felt like it was her job to make sure she had it.

But Paige was also human. And everyone messes up sometimes.

Right now, Paige was with Ice and KK, headed to Crumbl to grab cookies; it had become their post-practice tradition during the summer session. The car was filled with laughter, teasing, and the playlist Paige had made for when she had the two of them in the car together.

When they pulled into the Crumbl parking lot, Paige left her phone behind as it was tucked in the center console. The device was still connected to the aux, as they hopped out of the car locking the door. She didn’t think twice about it—she was in the moment, caught up in Ice’s ongoing debate about which cookie flavor was best and KK’s roasting Ice about her questionable taste.

Inside the store, they spent too much time deliberating, as always. Ice insisted they try every new flavor, while Paige argued for sticking to the classics. KK suggested they just buy the entire menu and let the team fight over the leftovers. Paige rolled her eyes but laughed, knowing she was going to pay for whatever they decided on.

When they finally left, their arms full of the signature pink boxes, the energy carried back into the car. Paige slid into the driver’s seat, pushing the button to start the car, and let the music pick up right where they’d left off. Because of this she didn’t even glance at her phone. She didn’t know there was anything waiting for her.

What she didn’t see were the seven texts Azzi had sent her. Or the three missed calls.

Azzi’s messages had started casually enough:

Azzi 💗: Hey, where are you?

Azzi 💗: I miss you

Azzi 💗: We’re still going on our date tonight right?

But when Paige didn’t respond, the tone had shifted.

Azzi 💗: Everything okay baby?

Azzi 💗: Well I guess that’s a no to the date

Azzi 💗: I’ve been calling you.

The final text was the simplest but carried the weight of Azzi’s unease.

Azzi 💗: Paige?

Paige had no idea about any of this as she was sitting in the car with Ice and KK, parked outside Crumbl, sampling the cookies they’d just bought. KK had decided to go live on TikTok, propping her phone up in the center of the console so all three of them were visible. Paige and Ice were in the front, while KK sat in the back, leaning forward between their seats to give commentary on each flavor.

“Okay, y’all, this one’s chocolate peanut butter—Paige said she doesn’t like peanut butter, but she’s gonna try it anyway, so let’s see,” KK said into the camera, her energy always infectious.

“I’m not gonna like it, KK,” Paige replied, rolling her eyes but taking a bite. Ice snorted beside her, already digging into another cookie.

The live chat was buzzing with comments from fans, with people dropping in to talk about the team, tease KK, or ask random questions about their day. They scrolled by so quickly that it was impossible to catch all of them, but KK seemed to catch enough to keep her audience engaged as she responded to some of them.

Then, suddenly, something popped up on the screen that made KK’s eyes go wide.

“Oh my god,” KK gasped dramatically, smacking Paige’s shoulder. “It’s Azzi Fudd! We got a celebrity here y’all!”

Paige froze for a split second before a small, involuntary smile spread across her lips. Her girlfriend’s name sat at the bottom of the screen, her tiny profile picture next to it. Paige tried to play it cool, brushing off KK’s excitement with a casual shrug, but the faint blush on her cheeks betrayed her.

“Oh my god, it’s really Azzi Fudd I feel so cool,” KK repeated, leaning closer to the camera. “Hey, Azzi! What’s up, girly pop?”

Ice chimed in, laughing. “Azzi, you better send us some cowboy hats or something. Donate to the cause!”

Paige chuckled softly, her gaze lingering on the screen. Seeing Azzi’s name made her heart flutter, but she kept her reaction subtle. She didn’t want to make it obvious—not on a live stream with fans watching.

“Hey, Az,” Paige said quietly, her tone soft but unmistakably fond. She didn’t say more, instead breaking off another piece of cookie to distract herself.

But just as quickly as Azzi’s name appeared, it was gone. She had left the live.

“Damn, she left already?” KK frowned, leaning closer to her phone. “Azzi, where’d you go?”

Before anyone could speculate further, the car’s music abruptly stopped, and Siri’s voice echoed through the speakers:

“Incoming call from Azzi.”

The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and all three of them froze. Paige’s eyes went wide, and Ice’s head whipped toward her, her mouth dropping open.

KK, of course, was the first to react to not make it obvious. “Oh my god, Paige!” she yelled, grabbing Ice’s arm. “It’s Azzi Fudd calling!”

The live chat exploded. Comments started flooding in:

“AZZI IS CALLING HER OMG!!!”

“Paige’s girl is calling during the live? 👀”

“Not Siri exposing Paige rn 😭😭😭.”

Paige’s face turned bright red as she scrambled to unplug her phone from the aux cord. Trying to make Siri and the ringtone stop blaring through the car’s speakers.

“I’ll be right back,” Paige mumbled, grabbing her phone and quickly stepping out of the car.

As soon as the door shut behind her, KK leaned into the live, absolutely giddy. “Y’all, Paige just got a very important phone call. Like, the most important phone call ever.” She wiggled her eyebrows dramatically.

Ice burst out laughing, shaking her head. “Man, Siri really just put her on blast like that.”

The two of them were always bad at being subtle when it came to Paige and Azzi.

The moment Paige stepped out of the car, she pressed her phone to her ear, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Hey baby, what’s up?” she greeted, trying to sound casual, though her heart raced slightly.

“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me,” Azzi said, her tone a little sharper than it usually is with Paige.

Paige’s smile faltered as her brows furrowed in confusion. “What’d I do?”

Azzi didn’t answer right away. Instead, she took a deep breath and said, “What day is it?”

Paige froze, her stomach sinking as she tried to think about it. She pulled her phone away from her ear and glanced at the screen, her eyes locking on the date. Her heart dropped.

“Shit,” Paige muttered under her breath. Bringing the phone back to her ear, she spoke quickly, panic lacing her voice. “Baby, I’m so sorry—”

“What the hell, Paige?” Azzi cut her off, her voice reflecting her clear frustration. “We’ve had this planned for like two weeks!”

“I know, I know,” Paige stammered, running a hand through her hair. “I’m so sorry, Az. This week’s just been so hectic, I lost track of everything.”

“Yeah, clearly,” Azzi replied dryly. There was a pause before she added, her voice quieter but the hurt was still clear, “We talked about this, Paige. We’re supposed to be making time for stuff like this at least once a month.”

Paige closed her eyes, guilt washing over her. “Look, I know I messed up, but we can still do it. I can come back now, and we’ll make it work—”

“No,” Azzi interrupted. “Whatever. It’s fine.”

“Az, come on,” Paige pleaded, her voice softening. “You don’t wanna at least try?”

“No,” Azzi repeated, her tone a little colder. “I don’t really want to hang out with you anymore.”

Paige’s chest tightened at the words, her voice breaking slightly as she said, “Az, I’ll come back now, okay? We can at least grab some food, just—”

“I said no,” Azzi cut in again, her voice now tinged with exhaustion. “It’s fine. I think I’m just gonna go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Paige blinked, disbelief and hurt mingling in her expression. “Are you for real, Az?”

“Yes,” Azzi replied simply.

Paige exhaled shakily, leaning against the car as she struggled to find the right words. Finally, she whispered, “I’m sorry, baby. I love you.”

There was a long pause on the other end before Azzi said quietly, “It’s whatever. I love you too.” And then the call ended.

Paige stared at her phone for a moment, the weight of Azzi’s tone settling in her chest. She let out a heavy sigh, running a hand down her face before slowly making her way back to the car.

When Paige climbed back into the car, the energy inside was completely different from the heavy weight she felt in her chest. KK and Ice were still on live, chatting animatedly with the viewers, their excitement from the earlier interaction with Azzi carrying on.

“Y’all, these cookies are fire!” KK exclaimed, holding up a bitten piece of cookie to the phone camera. She leaned over the middle console so everyone could see her better. “This one tastes like a cinnamon roll! Oh, wait, let me show you the chocolate one!”

Ice laughed from the passenger seat, leaning her head back against the headrest. “You’re gonna eat all of them before we get back, KK.”

“Nah, I’m saving at least one for later,” KK replied, grinning. She glanced at Paige. “Right, P Boogers?”

But Paige didn’t answer. She quietly buckled her seatbelt, her eyes flicking to the live chat on KK’s phone. Comments were flying in.

“Paige doesn’t look as happy anymore.”

“What happened to P? She was smiling before she left.”

“Azzi called, right? She’s so quiet now.”

Paige quickly looked away, gripping the steering wheel tightly. She didn’t say a word as she started the car, her jaw clenched.

The mood in the car shifted slightly as KK and Ice exchanged a glance. They noticed Paige’s sudden change in demeanor, but with the live still running, they chose not to address it, not wanting to draw attention to her.

Instead, KK kept the conversation light, talking about the cookies and teasing Ice about stealing bites from the box. Paige barely registered any of it, her mind replaying Azzi’s voice over and over again. She had never done anything like this.

It wasn’t until Paige made an unexpected turn that KK finally spoke up. “Uh, where we going, P Boogers?” she asked, glancing at the unfamiliar road.

Paige shook her head and mumbled, “I just gotta pick something up real quick.”

KK furrowed her brows but didn’t push further, keeping the live running for a few more minutes as they joked about Ice trying to eat another cookie. But when they pulled up to a flower shop, the sign out front indicating it was about to close, KK finally ended the live.

“Yo, why are we here?” Ice asked, leaning forward to look out the window.

Paige didn’t respond, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car. The florist inside looked up as Paige walked through the door, her face lighting up in recognition.

“Paige!” the woman greeted warmly. “You’re just in time. What can I get for you today?”

Paige managed a faint smile, her voice soft. “Hey Julia. Do you have any of those fresh lilies I like? And maybe some lavender?”

“Of course,” the florist replied, quickly gathering the requested flowers into a beautiful bouquet. Paige waited in silence, her hands stuffed into her pockets as she stared down at the counter.

Once she had the flowers, Paige thanked the florist and headed back to the car. The door shut behind her with a soft thud, and for a moment, the car was silent.

Now that the live was over, KK and Ice no longer held back. KK leaned forward between the seats, concern etched across her face. “Alright, P Boogers. What’s wrong?”

Paige shook her head, setting the bouquet gently on the console between her and Ice. “Nothing. I just... I forgot me and Azzi had plans to go see this art installation tonight,” she said quietly, her voice tinged with guilt.

“Oh,” KK said softly, sitting back. She exchanged a look with Ice, who frowned.

Paige sighed, gripping the steering wheel but not starting the car yet. “She’s mad. Like... really mad. I didn’t even realize what day it was.”

Ice placed a hand on Paige’s arm, her voice gentle. “P, it’s not the end of the world. She’ll understand.”

Paige shook her head, her lips pressed into a thin line not really wanting to talk about it.

KK and Ice didn’t say anything else, choosing instead to give Paige a moment. The three of them sat in silence for a few beats before Paige finally started the car

When Paige got back to Azzi's dorm room, the weight of her guilt settled in her chest. The door creaked softly as she stepped inside, her eyes immediately finding Azzi lying on her bed, curled on her side, her face partially buried in her pillow. Paige’s heart sank when she noticed the faint redness around Azzi’s eyes, a clear sign she’d been crying. The sight was almost unbearable.

Paige hesitated for a moment before walking over to the bed. She crouched down in front of Azzi, holding the bouquet of flowers in one hand while reaching out with the other to brush a gentle thumb across Azzi’s cheek. But Azzi turned her head away from the touch, her silence speaking volumes. Paige’s throat tightened.

“Come on, baby,” Paige said softly, her voice almost pleading. “I’m sorry.”

When Azzi didn’t respond, Paige sighed deeply and stood up. She placed the flowers on Azzi’s desk, their vibrant colors a deep contrast to the heavy tension in the room. Paige lingered for a moment before deciding to climb onto the bed, trying to wrap an arm around Azzi, but the moment her hand brushed against her side, Azzi finally spoke, her tone low but firm.

“I wanna sleep alone tonight.”

Paige froze, her hand stilling mid-motion. She groaned softly, running a hand down her face. “Azzi, come on. I don’t know what else I can do. I promise I’ll make it up to you—”

“I don’t want it to be made up,” Azzi cut her off, her voice cracking just slightly at the end.

Paige swallowed hard, guilt stabbing at her again. She knew Azzi was hurt, but she also knew her girlfriend, the way her stubbornness could amplify her emotions. Azzi wasn’t usually like this, and Paige had never messed up like this, and that only made the situation worse. Paige sat back, unsure of what to say or do, feeling like she was failing in real-time.

Azzi rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Her voice softened but still carried an edge. “Paige, you do so much for me. You really do, and I love you for it. But tonight wasn’t about flowers or gifts. It was supposed to be about us. Just us.” She paused, exhaling shakily. “And it feels like... like everything else in your life is more important than me.”

“That’s not true,” Paige said quickly, her voice tightening as she shook her head. “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I?” Azzi’s gaze finally met Paige’s, her eyes glistening. “Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

Paige’s jaw dropped slightly, incredulity flashing across her face. “Azzi, come on. That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

Azzi sat up abruptly, her eyebrows raising. “Don’t curse at me, Paige.”

Paige pinched the bridge of her nose, forcing herself to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it like that. But you’re not being reasonable right now.”

Azzi’s expression darkened as she folded her arms across her chest. “Excuse me?”

“I know I messed up, Az,” Paige said quickly, her voice softening again, trying to keep the situation from spiraling. “And I’m so, so sorry for that. I know I’m not usually like this. I know you count on me. But for you to say I don’t prioritize you?” Paige shook her head, her voice rising slightly. “That’s crazy.”

Azzi’s voice rose to match hers. “No, what’s crazy is you being on live with KK and Ice, laughing and eating cookies, when we were supposed to have our night. The one night we get every month, Paige.”

Paige stared at her, her frustration mounting. “Az, you act like I don’t care about us. I’m always thinking about you, no matter where I am. Do you know how many nights I’ve spent in hotel rooms, sending you flowers, texting you, calling you, because I’m trying to show you that I’m still here? That I love you?”

“And I appreciate that, Paige. I really do. But I don’t want flowers from across the country. I don’t want texts and calls while you’re in L.A. or New York or wherever the hell else you are. I want you. I want you here.”

Paige’s frustration boiled over, her voice breaking slightly. "I’m here right now, Az, and now you’re telling me you don’t want me here?"

Azzi, lying on the bed, didn’t even look at her as she replied, “Because I’m not really in the mood to be an afterthought right now.”

Paige stood, running her hands through her hair. “Are you serious, bro? You’re not an afterthought, you know that.”

Azzi let out a sharp laugh, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Well, what else do you call it when the only reason you’re here is because I pointed out that you forgot about tonight?”

“I forgot, Azzi! I forgot! Once in four years!” Paige’s voice cracked, exasperation bleeding through. “And you’re acting like it’s the end of the world, like I don’t love you. I promised I’d make it up to you—what more do you want from me?”

Azzi sat up slightly, her expression still cool but her words quieter. “I don’t want to argue, Paige. We don’t argue, we never have and we’re not about to start now. So just… come back tomorrow, okay?”

“Not okay, Paige!” Paige mimicked with frustration, pacing a few steps before stopping herself, taking a deep breath. “You clearly disagree, so just say that. Talk to me and tell me how you feel.”

Azzi shook her head, looking away. “I don’t want to argue with you. Just go for now. I need some space.”

Paige sighed deeply, rubbing at her temples before walking back to the bed. She leaned down, pressing a kiss to Azzi’s temple. Her voice softened, though still laced with frustration. “I love you. I’m sorry, Az. I really am.”

Azzi looked up at her briefly, her voice subdued. “I love you too… I’m just mad right now.”

Paige chuckled dryly, standing up. “Yeah, I got that.” As she walked to the door, she gestured lazily toward the flowers on the desk. “You should put those in water before they wilt.”

Azzi didn’t respond, her gaze fixed on the wall as Paige stepped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. Paige leaned against the door for a moment, exhaling deeply, before heading back to her own room.

…

When Azzi got back to her room after hanging out with Caroline the next day, she stopped in her tracks, her eyes going wide. The room was completely covered in flowers. Vases, bouquets—there were everywhere, sitting on her desk, lined up on the floor, spilling over onto her nightstand. The sight was so absurd that Azzi couldn’t help but laugh, her frustration from the night before melting away with each step she took into the floral jungle.

Shaking her head, she walked to her bed, where a single notecard sat propped up against one of the bouquets. She picked it up and immediately recognized the messy scrawl of her girlfriend’s handwriting:

Az, I’m so sorry. I really don’t know how else to show it besides this. Please just get ready and I’ll pick you up at 6. Wear the outfit I got you for yesterday.

Azzi stared at the note for a long moment, a small smile tugging at her lips despite herself. She ran her fingers over the paper, then glanced around the room again, still laughing softly at the overwhelming display of Paige’s apology.

“God, she’s so extra,” Azzi muttered to herself, but the fondness in her voice for the annoying girl she loved was there.

With a sigh, she set the card down and headed to her closet to find the outfit Paige had mentioned.

Later that night, Paige showed up at Azzi’s door with yet another bouquet of flowers in her hand—a massive arrangement of deep red roses. Azzi snorted as she opened the door, shaking her head.

“I really don’t have any more room,” she teased, stepping aside to let Paige in. “I’ve been giving them out all day.”

Paige chuckled, setting the flowers down before pulling Azzi into a hug, burying her face against her neck. “I’m sorry, Az,” she murmured, her voice full of regret. She squeezed her tightly, trying to convey just how much she meant it.

Azzi’s arms wrapped around Paige’s waist, and she whispered back, “It’s okay, baby.”

They pulled back just enough to share a gentle kiss before heading out together.

In the car, a comfortable silence settled over them, the kind that only comes from knowing someone so completely. Soft music played in the background as Azzi absentmindedly toyed with Paige’s hand, which rested over her lap. Paige glanced at her every so often, her heart swelling at how content Azzi looked now, her earlier frustration with her nowhere in sight.

When they finally pulled up to the building where the art installation had been displayed, Azzi furrowed her brows in confusion. “What are we doing here,” she said, glancing at Paige with a questioning look.

Paige gave her that familiar toothless smile, the one that always made Azzi’s heart flutter. “Come on,” she said, hopping out of the car and quickly walking around to open Azzi’s door.

Hand in hand, they approached the entrance. A man in a suit opened the door for them without a word, simply smiling as they stepped inside.

Azzi froze the moment she entered, her jaw dropping as her eyes scanned the space. The installation was still there—all of it. Every piece of art she’d been so excited to see, now illuminated in the quiet, empty space.

Her gaze snapped to Paige, her expression filled with disbelief. “Paige what… how is this still here? They’re supposed to have everything at the next location already for tomorrow.”

Paige shrugged, her casual demeanor a stark contrast to the magnitude of what she’d done. That small, toothless grin reappeared as she said simply, “I rented it for you.”

Azzi blinked, utterly dumbfounded. “You rented the art installation?”

Paige nodded like it was nothing, like this wasn’t an extravagant, over-the-top, completely expensive gesture. “Yeah,” she said. “Figured we could have it all to ourselves.”

Azzi stared at her for a long moment, her heart full as she tried to find the words to respond. She didn’t need to, though, because the way Paige was looking at her—completely and utterly smitten—said everything that needed to be said.

“Paige,” Azzi finally managed, her voice soft, almost overwhelmed, “you’re insane, you know that?”

Paige laughed, tugging her further into the space. “I know. But I’m your kind of insane, right?”

Azzi chuckled, shaking her head. “Unfortunately.”

Paige grinned, throwing an arm around Azzi’s shoulders as they began strolling through the exhibit. The space was quiet, just the hum of soft background music accompanying their footsteps.

As they stopped in front of a vivid painting, Azzi started explaining its history, rattling off random background knowledge with ease. Paige didn’t know how Azzi kept so much information tucked away in her head, but she didn’t care. She just watched her, smiling softly, soaking in the way Azzi lit up when she talked about something she was passionate about.

When Azzi finally noticed Paige’s gaze lingering on her, she smiled, nudging her gently. “What?”

“Nothing,” Paige said as she shrugged playfully. “You’re just kinda cute when you’re being all smart and stuff.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but her cheeks tinted pink. They kept moving through the space, stopping to admire sculptures and installations. Eventually, Azzi broke the silence, her tone soft and a little vulnerable.

“This is much better than yesterday would’ve been,” she admitted. “We wouldn’t have been able to be this close in a room filled with all of those people.” She glanced at Paige, her eyes warm but tinged with a little guilt. “I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry.”

Paige stopped walking, turning to face her fully. Her hand cupped Azzi’s cheek, her thumb brushing gently along her skin. “You deserve everything and I’m the sorry one,” she said, her voice steady and filled with conviction.

Before Azzi could respond, Paige leaned in, pulling her into a slow, tender kiss. It was the kind of kiss that spoke louder than any words ever could, filled with love, forgiveness, and a promise to always be there for one another.

When they finally pulled apart, Azzi let out a soft laugh, resting her forehead against Paige’s. “You’re too much sometimes, you know that?”

“Yet, here you are still my girlfriend after all these years.” Paige teased, smirking.

“Here I am,” Azzi echoed, smiling.

The two of them continued their private tour, hand in hand, stealing kisses between pieces of art and basking in the quiet intimacy of the night Paige had created just for them.

[sharksnshakes]

Night Out (III) - Tim Drake

After discovering Tim is the Red Robin, his behavior starts to make a lot more sense. One confession leads to another...

AN; and we are done!! i hope u all enjoy the final installment of the tim drake miniseries. never done anything like this before and very grateful for the support <33 literally wouldn't have written it otherwise

Wordcount; 1k

TW; cursing, choking, minor injuries, tim being a simp

You don't have to puzzle over Tim's strange behavior for too long. Just days after the incident in the alleyway, you're watching a news report on the Red Robin, who was spotted fighting Dr. Freeze with Nightwing's help somewhere in the Diamond District.

The news anchors play a clip of Robin protecting civilians while Nightwing kicks ass in the background, and when Robin pushes an elderly man out of the way of Dr. Freeze's ray gun, you get deja vu; The arm flung in front of the civilian, the reaching for something in his utility belt--the vigilante's motions match Tim's exactly, right down to the damn batarang.

And then Dr. Freeze kicks Tim in the gut, and you can't keep watching.

You're not sure if you're the world's best detective, if Tim's horrible at hiding things, or if it was just plain luck, but ever since you put two and two together things have been making a lot more sense. Namely, why he constantly backs out of plans at the last minute and is busiest at 3am. His vigilante status might also have something to do with the ungodly levels of caffeine he consumes, but you're pretty sure he'd be drinking all that coffee regardless of whether he was Red Robin or not.

Unfortunately, you figured this out days before finals week, and you know that if you don't confront him you'll be distracted the whole time you're taking exams...

...Which is what leads you to where you are now. You're sitting in the passenger seat of Tim's fancy car (it's glossy black with custom upholstery to match--really, the whole 'Batman and Robin' thing should've been way more obvious) and chowing down on Big Belly Burger in a parking garage.

"So," you start, taking a sip of your drink to steel yourself, "I have something to tell you."

He swallows a gulp of food, brow furrowing. "Which is?"

"Y'might wanna put the food down for a second."

Tim huffs out a laugh. "No way it's anything that serious."

"Uh, I know you're Robin?"

He chokes.

Thirty seconds and several gulps of water later, Tim is staring at you with a dumbfounded expression that would be comical if the stakes of the situation weren't so high. Are the stakes high? You're not really sure. While you don't peg Batman as the type to have his vigilantes assassinate randos for figuring out their secret identities, he's a grown man running around dressed up like a bat. Who knows what goes on in his head?

Well. Tim might.

Regardless, Tim doesn't even attempt to dispute you. After sitting in silence for an additional two minutes, he just sort of... shrugs?

"Yeah. You're right."

You blink at him. You're not sure what you expected, exactly, but him owning up to it with zero hesitation was definitely not it. "You're just gonna admit it?"

"I mean-" he shrugs again. "What am I supposed to do? Dispute you? I'm sure you've got evidence."

You say nothing.

"You had no evidence?"

"I had a hunch," you protest, "And you just confirmed it!"

He groans, dropping his head into his hands. "You only had a hunch? No photos? No eyewitnesses?"

"It's almost finals week! What was I supposed to do, drop everything and research you instead of my term paper?"

"No, obviously not. Sorry. I'm just..."

"Shocked? Surprised? Caught off guard?"

"Well, you saw the news," he says dryly. Reaching for the hem of his shirt (also black, it was so obvious), he pulls it up a few inches to reveal a dark bruise splashed across his abdomen.

His incredibly toned abdomen--

You wince. "Ouch."

"Yeah, no kidding." At that moment, Tim's cheeks flush pink, and he quickly pulls his shirt back down. "Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to... you know."

"Nah, it's fine," you say, opting to stare out the window so Tim doesn't catch you blushing, "It's not a bad view, if that makes you feel any better."

Wait, what the fuck did you just say?

Your eyes go wide, and you immediately drop your gaze to your lap. There's a time and place for flirting with your best friend who's also Red Robin, and that time and place is not right after he's shown you his injuries and admitted to having a secret identity.

Except maybe it is, because when you risk a glance at Tim, his lower lip is pulled between his teeth and his eyes look just a touch hazy.

"You think I look good?" He murmurs, and you forget everything that's ever happened, ever.

"Yeah," you admit, looking around his face rather than at it, "And I was gonna tell you about that the other night. But, um, then we got interrupted."

Tim sucks in a small breath.

"So judging by your reaction, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you feel the same way...?"

"No," he deadpans, "I'm just staring at you like you hung the moon because I'm bored."

You blink at him. "You better be fucking joking--"

Tim reaches across the console, cups your jaw in his hand, and pulls your lips onto his.

You gasp. He swallows up the noise, moving slowly, deliberately, like he's been thinking about this moment for a long time; his fingers tremble but he guides your movements regardless, pulling you as close as he can manage with the console in the way.

Tim makes a small, muted noise when you slide your fingers into his hair. It shocks both of you enough to break the kiss--you stare at each other, unblinking. Then someone moves and the cup of ketchup you'd been sharing tips over and launches itself all over Tim's lap.

Both of you burst into laughter.

"You know," Tim says a few moments later, "You figuring out that I'm Robin is, um... really hot," he confesses, cheeks turning the same shade as the ketchup he's wiping off of his pants.

"Really?" you ask, still trying to catch your breath between giggles.

He looks you dead in the eye. "Really."

You dissolve into laughter again, and somehow you just know that your relationship with Tim--whatever form it takes--is right.

[antiquarianfics]

Taken pt. 3

If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would go back to that morning. He would hold you a little tighter in his arms, and he would kiss you a little deeper. He would pull your daughter in between the two of you, letting her giggle as loudly as she wants whilst her parents kiss her cheeks and tickle her belly. If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would have told you not to go to the park—to go anywhere else. But Bucky Barnes can’t time travel, and his wife and daughter are gone.

A/N: If I were you guys, I would hate me. This is so. I'm sorry. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Genre: Angst / Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Kidnapping, torture, swearing, canon-typical violence. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to copy or repost my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and reblog.

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"Mrs. Barnes, do follow me, please," Morozov demands despite his polite formalities. "And I advise you keep the baby to your side. You never know where she may wander off to if you're not watching," he says ominously.

You clench your jaw as you scoop Becca into your arms. She clings to you, little arms surrounding your neck. The poor girl is terrified, and you know you have to pretend you're not, too. For her.

You follow after Morozov and pray your phone hasn't died yet.

Please, Buck. Find us.

—

Morozov leads you down several confusing hallways that all look the same. You look for indicators to help you find your bearings, but there’s little to nothing there. You pray your phone still has some juice and is connected to a cell tower somewhere; you’re not getting out on your own.

Becca holds onto you with a death grip, her face buried in the crook of your neck to hide her eyes from the scary soldiers escorting you. Despite being an Avenger, you kind of wish Bucky was here for you to do the same thing.

“So, Mrs. Barnes, you’re wondering why we’ve brought you here?” Morozov asks, but his tone is more declarative. He does not wait for a response.

“Well, we’ve been tracking the Asset since I took over the Siberian HYDRA division, and that’s when we discovered that there was a Mini Asset! It was quite the pleasant surprise! We are well aware that the Asset’s trigger words have been removed—a shame, really. They took so long to install. So the original plan was to figure out how to reset the Asset, but with the development of the baby? Well…” He trails off, refusing to finish the thought.

Instead of providing further explanation for your capture, Morozov abruptly stops in front of a door, unlocking it and holding it open like a hotel concierge.

“Right in here.”

One of the guards pushes you in and you stumble a little. Straightening up and readjusting Becca in your arms, you turn and shoot a glare at the guard.

You quickly take note of your surroundings and realize you’re in a cell. This is when one of the guards and Morozov step in, closing the door behind them.

The cell is small and bare except for some shackles anchored to the wall. The soldier wrestles Becca out of your arms despite the little girl’s wailing and kicking and your onset panic. He then unceremoniously drops her to the ground and grabs your wrists, shackling you to the wall.

You lunge at the soldier, painfully pulling on your restraints.

“Don’t you dare touch her, you piece of shit!” You scream.

Morozov chuckles darkly, sending you an amused look, and crouches down to Becca’s height.

“Hello, miss,” he says, holding a hand out to help her stand.

Becca looks at his hand and then at you, unsure of what to do. You shake your head and she scoots away from the doctor and closer to you. Morozov only laughs again.

“You’ll be more cooperative in time,” he says simply, holding his hands casually behind his back. He turns back to you.

“And, Mrs. Barnes, I recommend you refrain from attacking or cursing at my men. It would be unpleasant.

“Now, please, ladies, make yourselves comfortable.”

Morozov turns and leaves the room, letting the thick metal door slam shut behind him and his soldier. You hear the locks click shut and you crumple in your spot, leaning against the wall, and try to get comfortable despite your arms restrained behind you.

“Mommy?” Becca calls, looking at your face.

“Yeah, baby?” You try to pull a comforting look onto your face but you have a feeling it looks more like a grimace.

“What’s the mean guy want?”

“I’m not sure, honey.”

“What’s ‘the Asset’?”

You frown, unsure what to say to her. You and Bucky had never explained to your daughter her father’s complicated past. In fact, you had intended to put it off as long as possible. You chew your lip nervously before you speak, carefully mulling over your words.

“‘The Asset’ is your daddy. A long time ago, before Daddy and I met, he was trapped by some bad people, and they made him do some bad things.”

Becca’s eyes widen.

“Do they wanna hurt Daddy?”

“I really don’t know, baby.”

“They hurt you,” she points out, small hands grabbing your face.

You lean forward and kiss her forehead.

“I’m alright, Becca. Promise.”

Suddenly, the small sliding door built into the cell’s door opens and a tray of food slides in. It closes immediately.

“Becca, can you bring that tray over here? It’s dinner time.”

The hungry toddler happily runs to pull the food over. For the first time since you were abducted, you feel a semblance of peace while you watch your daughter eat, and you giggle when she has you open up for the airplane.

—

You estimate you’ve been gone about a week, and your stay at the Siberian HYDRA facility has been less than pleasant.

They have refrained from taking Becca away from you, but they have happily tortured you in front of her. Frankly, you’re not sure which is worse.

Today has been brutal. Almost as brutal as when they found the phone.

—

The soldier’s cutting of your body—your body his canvas, his knives his brushes—is what led to the revelation of your phone. You’d been stripped of your shirt, leaving you in the sports bra. Your mistake comes in the form of a taunt, an ill chosen statement.

“That all you got?”

It was not. The soldier jammed his fist hard into your gut and you crumpled. You leaned forward, retching, and your phone happened to slip out of your bra onto the cell floor.

You froze.

Morozov lost it. The phone meant they were on the Avengers’ radar, and that was less than ideal. He grabbed the phone and hit the power button.

“1%. Hmm. We may have unwelcome visitors soon,” he said as he walked towards the exit. “Please show Mrs. Barnes how we feel about unwelcome visitors.”

With that, he left, and you quickly found out that they do not feel good about unwelcome visitors.

—

Morozov is always present, but he never strikes himself. He lets those around him get their hands dirty and helpfully asks questions from the sidelines.

Today, however, has been different. After all, everyone has their limit.

“Tell. me. how. the. hell. they. erased. the. brainwashing,” Morozov demands.

You scoff in his face.

“Go to hell.”

“You bitch!” He slaps you across the face.

Your face is forced sharply to the side from the slap, but you laugh as you turn to face him.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?”

“Not only do you look like you’re pretending to have power, but your slap lacks power, too.”

Taunting him is probably not your best move, you’re aware, but it’s been a week and all they’ve done is torture you for information about Bucky. And you were trained to keep your mouth shut.

Morozov stands up straight, smoothing out his ill-fitting military jacket. He takes the second to compose himself before he turns to the guard at the door.

“Grab the kid,” he says, smirking at you.

Your eyes widen.

“Don’t you dare touch her! I’ll kill you! I swear to god I’ll kill you!” You pull on your restraints, scrambling to find footing even though you can’t stand from the way you’re restrained.

Becca has been hiding in the corner of the room, petrified, as she has every time they’ve come to question you. She pushes herself further back into the wall as the guard moves towards her, but with nowhere to go, he easily picks her up and carries her to Morozov.

“You know, my strength may lack power to you, but I’m sure a punch to the baby’s gut would hold all the power it needs,” he muses, closing his hand into a fist in front of his face, observing it.

You struggle to get to Becca, tears beginning to escape and run down your face.

“Now,” he says, side-eying you, “tell me. How did they remove the trigger words? Because when we turn your daughter here into the next Winter Soldier—raising and conditioning her to serve HYDRA—we need to make sure she can’t defect like her traitor father.”

Morozov’s admission towards his plans for Becca flips a switch inside you. You’ve heard of mothers doing incredible things—like lifting cars off of their children—due to the child being in danger. It causes hysterical strength; you were never sure you believed it. But watching Morozov threaten your child? It was life or death. It was unforgivable. It made you hysterical. So Morozov even threatening to do to her what HYDRA did to Bucky causes you to act.

You scream something unintelligible as you yank yourself free. The chains are still bound to your wrists, but the anchor in the wall crashes to the ground. The cement moving with it. Before you comprehend it, you’ve gotten to your feet, jumped enough to hop the shackles and bring your hands to the front of your body, and have the chains around Morozov’s neck.

You pull the chain taut against his throat, and he chokes. You glare at the soldier holding Becca who looks incredibly unsure what to do (Does he save his boss? Does he hold onto the kid?).

“Let. Her. Go.” You tighten the chain on Morozov’s neck with each syllable.

Morozov subtly nods, signaling to the man to let Becca down. He does and you forget Morozov, leaving him to gasp for breath as you run to your daughter.

Skidding to your knees, you check over Becca as you scoop her into your arms.

“It’s okay, bug. You’re okay.”

You comfortingly run your fingers through her hair while she shakes with fear in your arms.

“Hmm,” Morozov muses as he rubs a hand against his sore neck. “Perhaps we might come to a compromise, Mrs. Barnes.”

You shoot an incredulous look at him over your shoulder.

“The strength you just exhibited? Extraordinary! Perhaps you might consider joining HYDRA’s cause,” he holds up a hand to silence you when you open your mouth to protest. “Perhaps you might consider joining HYDRA’s cause,” he repeats, “in exchange for your daughter’s release.”

You pick Becca up, letting her bury her face into your neck while she cries, and stand, turning to face Morozov.

“If you safely return her to her father and the Avengers, I’ll do it,” you say confidently. You absolutely did not want to work for HYDRA, but you could figure out your own escape later. Becca’s safety is your priority and only current concern.

“That can be arranged.”

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ko-fi

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Tags: @just-henny @jasminocano @browneyedgirl22 @barnesboo1967 @matchat3a

[legacygirlingreen]

"Now we are even" || The Introduction || Commander Wolffe x OFC! Perdita

Author's Note: I am so excited to drop the first installment of a story involving Commander Wolffe. This is my first time writing for him, and I won't lie, I cannot express how much I've enjoyed getting in his head. I want to thank my lovely and dear friend @leenathegreengirl for helping breathe life into not just Perdita through her art, but also this story at large. This was truly a whim in every fashion of the word, but as Bob Ross once said, there are no such things as mistakes, only happy little accidents. I am really proud of what bit's I've come up with this pair so far. I apologize for future works involving them, because while this is an introduction set after TBB, I plan to go back in time a bit (wouldn't be part of the Filoniverse if there wasn't chaos with the timing I suppose). Also I'm still racking my brain over a shipname so I'd love the suggestions... Any who, enjoy loves - M

Summary: A story as old as time itself. A Clone Commander. A Jedi. Two people bound by honor and duty. Lives defined by unwavering codes. But now, everything is shattered as the Empire orders the galactic execution of the once-peaceful warriors known as the Jedi. When Wolffe unexpectedly crosses paths with a fleeting figure from his past, he faces an agonizing choice. Will he obey the Empire’s command, or will he risk everything—his identity, his loyalty, and his future—in the desperate hope of rediscovering the man he once was?

Pairing: eventual Commander Wolffe x OFC! Perdita Halle

Warnings: Mentions of Order 66, Brief mentions of assisted suicide, angst with a hopeful ending

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist || Next Part (coming soon)

Wolffe often found the hum of space to be unnerving. Not that space itself had a hum—space was cold, dark, and empty. The hum came from the ship, a constant, low vibration that resonated through its walls, a reminder of its fragile protection against the infinite void outside. He hated this liminal space, this time spent outside planetary orbits, where nothing anchored him.

The vacuum had nearly claimed his life once. He could still feel it if he thought about it too long—the suffocating press of nothingness, the frozen tendrils of death creeping up his spine as his oxygen dwindled. The darkness had wrapped around him like a shroud, a cruel mockery of safety. Skywalker, his padawan and the Sentinel had pulled him back at the last moment, but something about him had stayed behind, left adrift in that endless void. He’d survived, but a part of him hadn’t.

He wondered, often, if death would feel the same. Cold. Empty. A silence so profound it swallowed everything. Or would it be something entirely different? Something warmer, like the faint memory of a sunrise on Kamino’s horizon or the strength of a brother’s arm slung across his shoulders after a battle well-fought?

Plo Koon had once told him that death was not the end but a transition—a merging with the living Force. The words had stayed with Wolffe, though he wasn’t sure if they brought comfort or dread. The concept was simple enough, but it opened too many questions. Would he still be himself in the Force? Would his memories, his regrets, his flaws follow him into that eternity?

And what of those he had lost? Would he see them again? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to. The idea of facing the Jedi again, seeing their calm, unwavering gazes, filled him with an ache that felt too large to contain. He respected them deeply, but respect came with weight, and he often felt crushed beneath the burden of their trust. Undeserved, he thought. Always undeserved.

He stared out the viewport, watching stars streak by as the ship hurtled through hyperspace. The endless cascade of light reminded him of something—he wasn’t sure what. A memory tugged at the edges of his mind: Plo Koon standing beside him, hand on his shoulder, as they stared up at the night sky from a dusty outpost.

“There’s always light in the dark, Wolffe,” the Kel Dor had said, his voice steady, unshakable. “Even in the emptiest parts of space, the Force is alive.”

Wolffe had nodded then, silent as always. Even now, the words felt too far away. The darkness pressed in closer these days, even when he was surrounded by his squad, even when the hum of the ship reminded him he was still alive.

Maybe death was different for men like him—men who had taken orders, done what they had to, and carried the weight of it in silence. Maybe for him, death wouldn’t be a warm reunion with the Force but a cold, endless void, like the vacuum that had almost claimed him.

Maybe that was what he deserved.

He tightened his grip on the edge of the console, the familiar vibrations grounding him, even as the void outside seemed to call his name. The stars streaked on, indifferent to his musings, and he stayed where he was, caught between the hum of life and the silence of the dark.

Sure, right now he might be aboard an Imperial transport ship, tasked with carrying a highly dangerous prisoner marked for execution. But in his mind, he was still in the Abragado system, sitting in a pod, waiting. Waiting for the moment his life would be snuffed out in a war he neither fully understood nor had ever truly wanted to be part of.

He hadn’t believed Master Plo when the Jedi had reassured him, promising that someone would come looking for them. Wolffe had learned early on that he was expendable, a belief etched into him by the longnecks on Kamino. He was just another number, another body in an endless sea of soldiers bred for war.

Then came the Jedi. Their compassion, their respect, their quiet insistence on treating clones as individuals—it had shaken the very foundation of everything Wolffe thought he knew. In a world where duty and obedience were everything, where each clone was molded to fulfill a singular purpose, the Jedi had introduced something foreign—something that made him question the very core of his existence. 

Master Plo Koon, in particular, had made an inerasable impact. There was a quiet strength in the way he carried himself, an unspoken understanding that resonated with Wolffe on a level he hadn’t known was possible. Master Plo didn’t just command him; he listened—and more importantly, he understood. The way he treated Wolffe wasn’t like a subordinate or a mere tool of war, but as someone with thoughts, desires, and a sense of self. He spoke to him not as a soldier on the battlefield, but as a fellow being who had hopes, fears, and a need for connection.

When the order came, he didn't want to believe it. He hated how easily his finger had complied, how instinct had overridden thought. The words echoed in his mind, even now when he laid down for sleep: Good soldiers follow orders.

But in that moment, as Master Plo Koon’s starfighter plummeted from the sky, spiraling toward the ground in a fiery descent, Wolffe felt an emptiness unlike any he had ever known. It wasn’t just the shock of watching his commander, his ally, fall—it was the crushing realization that he was complicit in the destruction. The weight of betrayal was a heavy cloak around his shoulders, pressing down on him with unbearable force.

He had followed orders, as he always had, but this time, there was no duty, no justification that could soothe the gnawing ache in his chest. For so long, he had prided himself on his loyalty, on his ability to uphold the ideals of the Republic and the men he fought beside. But as the remnants of Plo Koon’s ship burned in the distance, Wolffe couldn’t help but feel that he had lost something far more vital than the life of a Jedi. He had lost the sense of himself as a man who stood for something honorable.

The world around him seemed to blur, the familiar sound of blaster fire and the chaos of war drowning out in the silence of his thoughts. For the first time, he saw the full, horrifying scope of what he had become—a tool of an Empire that had twisted everything he had once believed in. His identity, his purpose, had been shattered in that instant. As much as he wanted to believe he was still the same soldier, the same Commander, a part of him knew that he had crossed an irreparable line.

Wolffe had never felt further from the idea of being “good.” Not just because of the life he had taken, but because of the loss of the man he had been—the soldier who had once believed in the nobility of his cause.

The last time Wolffe truly felt in his heart that he had done the right thing was the night he learned Rex was still alive. He could still see Rex’s face—pleading, desperate, filled with a conviction that cut through Wolffe’s carefully constructed walls. Rex had begged him to see the truth, to understand that the Empire’s orders were wrong. That hunting a child wasn’t justice.

Wolffe had spent years trying—vainly, tirelessly—not to question his orders. He was a soldier. And good soldiers followed orders. 

But good soldiers didn’t hunt children or order their friends to be killed.

Good soldiers brought in criminal lowlifes, the kind of scum he now had locked in the brig, to justice. At least, that’s what Wolffe had assumed when the prisoner had been described to him as “highly dangerous.” But maybe it was his more recent desire to question his orders, or the way something about this mission didn’t sit right, that sparked the flicker of curiosity. Maybe it was the sentimentality he’d been battling since Rex’s reappearance, or the uneasy edge that always came with being in space.

Whatever the reason, he made a choice. He sent his men off for an early retreat, claiming he’d stand guard himself. He told himself it was for tactical reasons, but it wasn’t. It was personal.

Just like opening the cell door.

The door slid open with a low hiss, revealing a dimly lit chamber. Wolffe expected to see a hardened criminal, someone rough around the edges, beaten down by years of wrongdoing. Instead, his breath caught in his throat.

Seated on the floor, her back pressed against the cold wall, was a woman—young, though her posture bore the weight of someone who had seen more than her years should allow. She didn’t flinch or rise as the door opened, her bright green eyes snapping to him with an intensity that felt like a challenge. Even in the faint light, they glowed, piercing through him like a blade.

“Commander Wolffe,” she said, her voice quiet but steady, the hint of an edge betraying both recognition and caution.

He froze. His hand hovered near his blaster, not out of fear but reflex. “How do you know my name?” he asked, his tone sharp, though his heart hammered in his chest.

A faint, bitter smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “You don’t remember me, do you?” She shifted slightly, the movement revealing the scar that ran across her pale face, a jagged line that seemed out of place on her otherwise delicate features. “Not surprising. It was a lifetime ago.”

Wolffe’s eyes narrowed, his mind racing. Her appearance tugged at a distant memory—a mission gone wrong, the deafening silence of space, and a bright flash of light. Falling out of the escape pod into waiting arms. Bright Green eyes. The scar.  His breath hitched as it clicked into place.

“The rescue,” he murmured. “Abregado.”

She inclined her head, her expression softened ever so slightly. “I was,” she said simply. “And now, here we are. Funny how the force works, isn’t it?”

His grip on the blaster faltered. This wasn’t a hardened criminal. This was a Jedi—a Sentinel, at that. She had pulled him from the pod, her face masked with the exception of her eyes. But he didn’t forget the voice, nor could he forget her scar.

He also didn’t forget the way she’d accompanied him to Aleen, attempting to calm his frustrations at the locals after the earthquake. He was built for combat, not a mercy mission. But she’d been there, calming that raging storm in him with her soft spoken words and delicate place of a hand on his skin. General Halle. Perdita. 

As he studied her features for the first time, he realized the shroud she had always worn concealed far more than he had anticipated. She had once explained to him that part of her trials as a padawan had been overcoming her vanity. After that moment, she had either been encouraged—or perhaps felt the need—to keep herself covered. The distinction between the two was significant, though he now found himself unable to recall which version of the truth it had been. The Jedi’s appearance had never been something he had been allowed to fully see, and so witnessing her efforts to hold her shoulders and chin high under his gaze felt wrong. Not that he hadn't been curious—he had. But seeing more than just those bright eyes and that scar across her face felt intrusive, as though he were crossing an unseen boundary.

Seeing her now, with her ghostly pale skin, so light that it was as if it had never touched sunlight. Her hair, equally fair, was a tangled mess of long braids and matted strands, though the right side was sheared close to her scalp, hinting at the harshness of the life she had experienced. Bruises etched into her neck, a testament to her resilience, showing that she hadn’t been easily subdued.

She was far more delicate than he’d imagined for someone of her position. She didn’t match the mental image he had formed of the woman who had once saved his life with her luminous eyes and sharp voice. Yet, in her very features, there was a contradiction that unsettled him. Her soft, pale skin was marred by a jagged scar that seemed to tell a story of its own. Her long hair clashed with the shock of short strands that spoke of some past confrontation. Her gentle eyes, framed by dark kohl. Her delicate lips—so soft and inviting—contradicted the clipped, controlled tone of her voice.

There was a complexity to her, an unsettling blend of contradictions, and it was that stark difference between appearance and reality that made her all the more enigmatic.

Not to mention, she truly was much more beautiful than he could’ve imagined. Even after their brief conversation together. He’d wondered, but to see it in front of him now, he found words difficult on his tongue. 

She wasn’t like most Jedi. Distant. Quiet. She wasn’t one to preach or stand at the frontlines of politics. Instead, she focused on the people of the Republic, working directly with them in ways that often went unnoticed, or at the Council’s rare request. But she was no stranger to rebellion either. He remembered how she’d stormed away when General Skywalker's padawan had been placed on trial—angry, in a way that Wolffe found unexpected. He had always been told Jedi were supposed to rise above emotions, especially anger. Yet here she was, as human as anyone else.

“Why are you here?” he asked, his voice quieter now, the weight of his own disillusionment pressing down on him. “Why would the Empire want you dead?”

Her smile disappeared, replaced by a shadowed expression. “Because I am breathing,” she said, her tone defensive. “And because that’s enough to be a threat to the Empire,”

Wolffe’s stomach churned. He wanted to call her a liar, to draw his blaster and end the conversation, but something about her words rooted him in place. She didn’t move, didn’t press further, as if sensing the storm inside him.

However, her eyes flashed with realization, and Wolffe felt the rare tug in his mind. He wasn’t immune to it. The Jedi, though usually respectful of a clone’s privacy, occasionally breached that unspoken boundary—usually in moments of intense concern. His thoughts became muddled, a fog settling over his mind, and in that instant, he knew. She had used the Force to reach into his mind.

“They sent you to hunt a child,” she said, her voice softening, almost mournful. “And now they’ve sent you to deliver me for my execution. How much longer are you going to follow orders, Commander?”

The words struck him harder than he expected, the weight of her gaze pinning him where he stood. For a moment, he didn’t feel like the soldier standing guard. He felt like the man adrift in the pod, lost in the silence of space, waiting for someone to find him.

He exhaled sharply, the silence broken by the harshness of his words. “What do you expect me to do? Not following orders makes you a traitor,” he spat.

She stared at him for a moment, uncertainty flickering in her gaze. “You’ve already disobeyed more than one order, haven’t you?” Her tone shifted, probing deeper. “Tell me, Wolffe—or do you prefer your number now? Should I respect the identity the Empire has forced upon you? After all, you seem so eager to follow their commands, to remain obedient, even if it means abandoning everything else.”

Wolffe’s jaw clenched as her words hit home, each syllable sharp, cutting through the layers of his resolve. He shifted uncomfortably, his fingers twitching at his side, but he refused to let her see the crack in his metaphorical armor.

"I follow orders," he said, his voice tight. "It's what I was made for. It's what we all were made for. You think I like this? You think I want to be this?" He gestured vaguely toward his armor, the cold, sterile shell that defined him as much as his number did. "The Empire... they gave us purpose. A place in this galaxy. A role. And what do you want me to do, General Halle? Turn my back on that? After everything?"

She took a slow step forward, her eyes unwavering, assessing him like she always had. He could feel the pull of the Force, a subtle pressure against his mind. She wasn’t pushing, but her presence lingered, and it was almost like she could see through him.

“I’m not asking you to abandon your past, Wolffe,” she said, her voice softer now, though the challenge remained. “I’m asking you to remember it. To remember who you were before the Empire twisted everything. You have never been just a number.”

Her words settled into the space between them, heavy with meaning, and Wolffe felt something shift deep inside him—a faint stirring he didn’t want to acknowledge. He had spent so long burying that part of himself, the part that still remembered loyalty to something more than orders. But now, in her presence, in the weight of her gaze, it felt like the walls he had built up around himself were starting to crack.

"You think I can just walk away?" he muttered, almost to himself. "That it’s that simple? The wars, the lies..." He paused, the words thick in his throat. "I don’t even know who I am anymore."

Perdita’s expression softened, a flicker of understanding passing through her eyes. She took another step toward him, this time with less certainty. She didn’t reach out, but the gesture was enough.

“You can always start again, find a new purpose, and maybe along the way find who you once were. I know you Wolffe. You are a good man. You always have been,” she commented quietly.

Wolffe didn’t answer right away. The silence stretched between them, filled only by the hum of the transport ship’s engines. The weight of his own thoughts pressed on him like an anchor, dragging him deeper into the abyss of uncertainty. He didn’t know what the right choice was. But standing here, facing the Jedi, he felt something stir in him that hadn’t been there for a long time.

The man he had been—the man before the Empire—was still there. Somewhere.

But could he still find his way back? Or was he already too far gone?

The question lingered, unanswered, and it gnawed at him from the inside out. The conflict within him was too great, an overwhelming surge of doubt and guilt. He was lost between what he felt and what he knew. He knew the Jedi were kind, compassionate—humane in a way the Empire could never be. But there was another part of him, the part shaped by years of conditioning, of following orders without question. The part that told him Jedi were the enemy, that they had betrayed him, betrayed all of them.

Even if she was correct, he didn’t feel he deserved a second chance.

"Stop," he snapped, his voice low and harsh, barely containing the fury building within him. "You're twisting my mind. That's why all you Jedi were executed." He spat the words, stepping back as if to escape the heavy weight of his own thoughts.

But Perdita’s gaze didn’t falter. Her eyes flashed with frustration—and something else. It was the same intensity that had pulled him from the wreckage of the Abregado system all those years ago. The depth her eyes had shown when he’d looked into them deeply under the glow of the setting sun on Aleen. The same ferocity that made her a Jedi in a way he could never fully understand.

“Did you pull the trigger yourself, Wolffe?” she demanded, her voice sharp and cutting through the haze in his mind.

His eyes widened. “What—?”

“Master Plo.” She took a step closer, her bound hands held out in front of her, as if she were trying to approach him without triggering some kind of defense mechanism. “Did you take the shot yourself?”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe. His mind flashed back to that day, to the moment when it all went wrong. The blast rang out, and Plo Koon had fallen, silent and still.

“I didn’t—” Wolffe started, his voice shaking. “I didn’t want to…”

But she was relentless, her voice a hiss, her anger barely contained. “Did you pull the trigger yourself, or did you let one of your men do it for you? Did you stand by while they carried out the order?”

Wolffe’s heart pounded in his chest. She was right. He hadn’t pulled the trigger, not directly. He hadn’t been the one to execute the order. But he had been there. He had stood by calling the order while his brothers did the work. His hands had been tied by duty, by obedience and the relentless weight of his training. 

Her words cut deeper than he expected, and for the first time in years, he felt a crack in the armor he had spent so long building. The Jedi saw through him in a way no one else had in a long time.

“No,” Wolffe said, his voice heavy with bitterness. “Boost did it. Shot down the starfighter,” he explained with a dramatic sigh, as though the memory still weighed on him like a stone in his chest.

Perdita’s gaze never left him, unyielding. “Why?” she pressed, her voice soft but insistent, searching for the truth behind his words.

Wolffe hesitated, his eyes darkening with the weight of the past. “Because I couldn’t. Because I was weak…” His voice trailed off, thick with shame. He had always prided himself on being strong, unwavering. But in that moment, when the world seemed to fall apart around him, he had faltered.

“To lay down arms is not weakness,” she replied, her tone calm but firm, as though she had spoken those words to herself a thousand times.

He scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping him. “Says the woman marked for execution,” he muttered, a sharp edge in his voice. His gaze flickered toward her, searching for the woman who had once saved him, who had risked everything to pull him from the wreckage when all seemed lost. The memory stung.

“You saved my life once,” he reminded her, his voice quieter now, tinged with a mix of gratitude and regret.

“I did,” Perdita agreed, her eyes softening, but her expression remained steady. “And now, may I ask one favor of you? A simple one, so that we can finally be even?”

Wolffe raised an eyebrow, the weight of her words sinking in slowly. There was something in the way she said it, something that made him pause. 

“Kill me,” she whispered solemnly, her words cutting through the silence like a blade.

Wolffe froze, his breath hitching in his chest. For a heartbeat, he couldn’t even process what she had just said. Kill me? The weight of those words landed on him with a staggering force, and for the first time since they’d started this uneasy exchange, his mind went utterly blank.

“W-What?” he stammered, confusion and disbelief mixing with a knot of panic that twisted deep inside him.

Perdita’s gaze never wavered, though there was a deep sadness in her eyes, a quiet resignation that tugged at something buried within him. She didn’t look like someone who feared death. In fact, she looked like someone who had made peace with it long ago.

“Kill me, Wolffe,” she repeated, her voice soft, but heavy with the weight of a thousand unspoken things. “Where you are taking me is a fate worse than death,”

The words hit Wolffe like a punch to the gut. His heart thudded painfully in his chest as he absorbed the depth of what she was saying. She was asking him to end her life, to release her from the nightmare that had followed her since the purge, since the fall of the Jedi. He could hear the quiet despair in her voice, the resignation that she had already accepted that no other option was left.

"Stop," he snapped, stepping forward with a sharpness he hadn't meant. His hand clenched into a fist at his side. "Don't say that."

Perdita’s eyes flickered to his, a fleeting glimpse of vulnerability breaking through her hard exterior. "It's the truth," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve lived through so much betrayal, Wolffe. I’ve seen what the Empire does to those it deems 'enemy’, it’s not a pretty sight I assure you"

Wolffe’s breath caught in his throat as he processed her words. He had heard whispers of the horrors of the Empire, the ruthless efficiency of its cruelty, but hearing it from her—someone who had once been who had fought beside the clones and now found herself hunted—made the reality of it all feel sharper.

“It’s not fair for you to ask that of me,” he demanded, his voice tightening with frustration. The very thought of it made him nauseous. To kill an unarmed woman—especially a prisoner—was not only unjust, it would be a betrayal of everything he had ever stood for. It could lead him to a court-martial, or worse.

“Why not,” she demanded.

Her words struck him harder than he expected. The Empire had already claimed so much from him—his autonomy, his sense of purpose, his very soul at times. But now, the reality of what she was saying pressed against him like a vise. Was he just another pawn? Would he become expendable too, the moment they had no more use for him?

“I’m not one of them,” he said, his voice a mixture of defiance and doubt. He wasn’t, was he?

But Perdita only stared at him, her expression unreadable. “You’re more like them than you think,” she whispered. “You’ve followed their orders. You’ve done their bidding. And now… now you want to pretend you don’t have a choice in what happens to me. Pretend I got free, tried to kill your men. I’m a threat am I not? Is that not what they told you? Please Wolffe. I do not wish to suffer needlessly. However if your resignation truly is with the Empire then I suppose you truly do not have a choice.”

Wolffe took a step back, his breath quickening. She was right in one sense—he had followed orders, too many times without question. But was that enough to define him? Was that all he was now? A soldier for an Empire that cared nothing for his humanity? Or worse, the humanity of others.

“No,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I still have a choice.”

She looked up at him, her eyes wavering just slightly. “Then make it.”

He stared at her for a long moment, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind. Should he kill her? Should he let her go? Should he risk everything? How much more guilt would he carry in delivering her to whatever fate she had foreseen? She was asking him to do something impossible, something that could destroy him just as easily as it would destroy her.

But the longer he looked at her, the clearer it became. This wasn’t just about survival anymore. It wasn’t just about doing what was expected or what was easy. This was about redemption—for her, for him, for them both.

“I won’t kill you,” he said, the words steady but heavy. His eyes darted around. The cybernetic one struggling to see in the dimly lit cell as he searched for the control panel on the wall. 

Perdita didn’t respond, assuming he was ready to leave and her last attempt at peace, foiled by a clone who truly owed her little loyalty. As she prepared for his departure she felt the chains around her hands unlock, before falling away. Flexing her fingers she looked up to see him much closer now as he tugged her forearm.

“But I won’t let them take you, either.” His voice was low, almost aggressive in nature, as if he was revolting against the very action he was taking.

Perdita didn’t smile. She didn’t thank him. She just nodded, the flicker of something like hope passing through her eyes. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to give him the courage to take the next step—whatever that might be.

“Why?” she asked, her voice calm, though it carried the weight of disbelief. She paused for a moment, taking a breath to collect herself in the wake of his unexpected actions.

Wolffe met her gaze briefly, then dropped his eyes to the floor, his attention lingering on the mud caked on the tops of his boots. After a moment, he lifted his gaze to hers again, his eyes scanning hers as if unsure whether to reveal the truth. Yet, in this moment—after throwing caution to the wind—it seemed honesty was the only option.

The problem? He wasn’t entirely certain himself. Of course, he had theories. Wolffe had been searching for a way out of the Empire ever since that night he crossed paths with Rex. Having a Jedi by his side would significantly increase his chances of desertion. So, part of his reasoning, at least, was rooted in a tactical advantage.

But then, as his gaze fell on her face, resting on the scar that marked her eye, something else surfaced. He remembered how much he owed her—how she had been the one to help locate their damaged pod. Without her, he would have been lost to the cold expanse of space. A debt like that, a life saved, demanded more than mere gratitude—it demanded something deeper.

“You saved my life once, General,” he said, though internally he wanted to slam his head into the durasteel wall. He knew that she had done so more than once—countless times, in fact, for him and his brothers. “Consider us even,” he added, his words laced with a mixture of gratitude and frustration.

After a brief pause, he heard the soft sound of her approach. Her arm brushed against his unintentionally as she spoke, her voice steady but curious. “What’s your plan?”

Wolffe felt the faintest stir at the brush of her arm, but he quickly focused on her words. He turned slightly, his gaze meeting hers, but there was a momentary hesitation in his expression. The question hung in the air, heavy with more than just the immediate answer.

He knew she wasn’t just asking about the details or the strategy—she was asking what came next, what he planned to do with everything that had led them to this moment. He could feel the weight of her question, the uncertainty that hung heavily in the air between them.

For a moment, he stayed silent, his mind racing through countless possibilities, each one more uncertain than the last. Finally, he spoke, his voice steady but tinged with the weight of the decision. "It’s a long shot, but I think it might work. You’ll have to trust me on this." He met her gaze, a quiet resolve in his eyes. "As for everything else, we’ll improvise—if we make it out of here."

"Alright. After you, Commander—"

"Wolffe," he interjected, his voice flat, almost terse. The weight of the moment pressed down on him—the knowledge that he was about to turn his back on everything he had ever known, to abandon the man he had been for so long. It felt like an impossible choice, and yet it was the only one left. In the face of such a drastic break, being addressed by his rank felt distant, cold, and impersonal. It was as though the uniform, the title, had become a mask for something that no longer fit him.

She paused for a moment, as if sensing the shift in the air between them. Her gaze met his, a flicker of understanding in her eyes before she nodded slightly, her voice equally dry, yet carrying a certain weight of its own. "Lead the way, Wolffe."

Her words, though simple, held a quiet acknowledgment—an acceptance of the change that had already begun. Neither of them needed to say more. The decision had been made, and whatever path lay ahead, it would be walked side by side.

To be continued...

(Also if you made it this far thank you so much! Below is the unedited image of Perdita courtesy of my lovely friend… you can find her bio HERE, on her page! Additionally, I may start a tag list soon so if anyone's interested just drop a comment or shoot me a DM <3!)

[666writingcafe]

RAD TV

Ran by the Newspaper Club and aired on Friday mornings

Mephistopheles: Good morning, everyone, and welcome to RAD TV. Our top story involves the first round of predictions for the bloody moon contest.

Rogmen: As you all know, this year Lord Diavolo has decided to allow our exchange students to participate. Some welcome the change, while others wonder why he would do such a thing.

Mephistopheles: However, we are not here to debate Lord Diavolo's decision, but rather to report the current standings of the contest.

A List of Standings Pops Up On the Screen

Rogmen: As usual, Lord Diavolo has the top spot with Lucifer and Barbatos following closely behind.

Mephistopheles: I've always wondered how Barbatos places so high on these things, considering he usually keeps to himself.

Rogmen: He's quite popular among royalty and fellow servants.

Mephistopheles: I see. Anyway, our number four spot is occupied by...MC?

Rogmen: I'm not surprised. A lot of people have been talking about them. Their honesty draws them in.

Mephistopheles: I understand that, but they're still rather new to the Devildom, while someone like Solomon has been coming in and out for years.

Rogmen: And yet Solomon wasn't the one who turned you into a stuttering mess after a certain speechcraft exam, now was he?

Mephistopheles: *blushes* That is not pertinent to this conversation.

Rogmen: *smirks* Anyway, Asmodeus and Leviathan are tied for fifth, Simeon is sitting at seventh, Satan's eighth, Beelzebub's ninth, and my fellow news anchor rounds out the top ten.

Mephistopheles: Only because Mammon isn't allowed to participate this year.

Rogmen: But he is this year's official bookie.

Mephistopheles: Why am I not surprised? Does Lucifer know about this?

Rogmen: Well, if he didn't, he does now.

Mephistopheles: See you up amongst the rafters, Mammon.

Rogmen: Speaking of Solomon, he's only a couple spots above last place. Guess people are growing tired of his antics.

Mephistopheles: I really don't know what goes through his brain sometimes. I mean, he thinks his cooking is a work of art.

Rogmen: I feel bad for the angels.

Mephistopheles: And that does it for our current bloody moon standings. Our next story--*puts his hand on his earpiece*

Rogmen: Everything alright, Mephisto?

Mephistopheles: I just received breaking news.

Rogmen: About...?

Mephistopheles: Asmodeus has just announced on social media that he's dropping out of the bloody moon competition.

Rogmen: What? He's usually all over these popularity contests.

Mephistopheles: He's uploaded a video on his story explaining why. Play the clip.

Asmodeus: Hi, my lovely people! I'm currently watching this week's RAD TV, and after seeing the first round of preliminary results, I have decided to no longer participate in the bloody moon contest. Before anyone spreads rumors that I'm upset about tying with Levi for fifth place, I want everyone to know that I am doing this because I believe that this year there is someone more worthy than I am of winning. So, instead of competing, I will be actively supporting MC and encourage you all to do the same. As always, I hope everyone has a fantastic day!

Rogmen: Did someone kidnap Asmo and replace him with a clone? Or is he just messing with everyone?

Mephistopheles: I think he's being serious.

Rogmen: If that's the case, then MC's about to see a huge increase in their numbers. Asmo has millions of followers across all of his social media platforms, and quite a number of them will do whatever he says.

Mephistopheles: I just hope that he told MC his plan before making that announcement, although knowing him, he didn't and instead acted impulsively.

Rogmen: Only one way to find out.

Mephistopheles: That does it for this installment of RAD TV. Make sure to be on the lookout for an exclusive interview with MC in our daily newspaper.

[noodleblade]

i loved your simpatico mistletoe fic. what other bots fall victim to Swerve's mistletoe?

Heehee Thank you <3 I love those nerds so much GAH!

Uhhh cygate+whirl, dratchet, rodimags and Swerve/Skids under the cut:3 This got a BIT longer than I intended but who cares:)

Cygate+whirl:

Tailgate see the mistletoe and is eager about trying it out himself. He's not entirely sure if the mistletoe itself holds any compulsive properties or its just solely tradition but either way he wants to give it a go. New experiences and all that.

Cyclonus is so against this idea. For multiple reasons. 1. It would be inherently performative to go purposefully put yourself under it. 2. Cyclonus has some trepidations about human traditions as a whole, especially when so many mechs on this ship can't even remember their own Cybertronian ones. 3. He has complicated feelings about Tailgate willingly putting himself under the mistletoe and some random mech being the one to kiss him. Every time Tailgate brings up trying it out, Cyclonus desperately thinks of another reason to keep Tailgate seated in the booth beside him. He's not sure how long he can keep up the ruse.

Whirl, ever observant and ever chaotic, sees all this and takes matters into his own hands. Claws. You get it. Despite how vigilant everyone has been with the whole mistletoe situation, it is surprisingly easy to snatch it without anyone noticing. It also takes a surprisingly long time for anyone to notice it is missing. Enough time for Whirl to make his way around the room and poise it innocently over Tailgate and Cyclonus's helms. Someone has to get their two to stop toeing around each other and he is tired of no one stepping up to the plate.

What he didn't take into consideration is getting a nuzzling kiss from Tailgate too. And an awkward yet tender peck from Cyclonus...After that, he lost track of the mistletoe, more than happy to cozy up between the two and sip their spiced energon together. He's giddy the rest of the night. Mission accomplished. And he received a delightful holiday bonus.

Dratchet:

Ratchet is mildly concerned once he knows the mistletoe is missing. He had been weary of it since he first saw it being installed. He had just wanted to get a drink with First Aid and Ambulon and then he was going to be on his way. But once the mistletoe was hung up, his only exit was blocked.

Granted, the mistletoe being there didn't mean he had to kiss anyone. Plenty of mechs had been fortunate enough to pass through with no issue. But Ratchet wasn't sure his luck would be the same. Not to mention, there was only one mech he'd even be remotely okay with kissing. Maybe even a little more than okay with. But Drift was anchored at Rodimus's booth and seemed to have no intention of getting up anytime soon.

But once it is missing, a new worry comes about. Too many mechs around him have a penchant for mischief and Ratchet is too tired to want to deal with it. He weighs his odds of successfully escaping without any drama while he sips his drink and is surprised when the metal flower falls into his lap. He's not sure how he got this or why but First Aid and Ambulon start giggling like pre-med students and egging Ratchet on about having to kiss someone.

Ratchet is not wholly upset with this. Fate is in his own hands and as long as he keeps the mistletoe to himself, there is nothing to worry about. He can make his escape and toss the dreaded thing out. Only halfway into standing up and turning, he runs right into Drift.

Drift had been listening to Rodimus's "pep talk" all night and finally decided to make his move. All he had to do is ask Ratchet for a drink or a walk or even just a small conversation. He'd take anything at this point. From what he could see across the bar, Ratchet looked in good spirits so he thinks this is a good as any chance.

When Ratchet turns to face him, all thoughts of confessions or propositions flee his mind because his optics drop to the metal mistletoe in his hands. Both of them are awkward about it and Ratchet, fully fed up with the entire debacle of the mistletoe and maybe a little inebriated, just throws it aside and gives Drift a kiss on the cheek.

Drift is...more than happy with this outcome. They leave Swerve's together. To walk. To talk. To exchange more kisses.

Rodimags:

Rodimus sees the mistletoe on the ground and snatches it up immediately. A million ideas go through his head of how he can mess around with it (and maybe score a few kisses himself). However, before he can even act on any of them, a heavy hand lands on his shoulder and Rodimus doesn't even need to turn around to see Magnus's unamused faceplates.

The worst part is Rodimus can't even uno-reverse the situation. Magnus is too tall for him to get the mistletoe above them so he just crosses his arms and tries to pretend he only had the purest of intentions of going to hang it back up. He's not even sure if Magnus believes him, but he does offer to help.

Ultra Magnus absolutely does not believe Rodimus was being a Good Samaritan but he will go with the lie if it means getting that idiotic item out his hands. Plus, he is at least tall enough to affix it himself, rather than watching Rodimus use a wobbly chair or worse climb another mech's shoulders. He is a little weary when Rodimus follows him along but its not entirely unwelcomed. Contrary to popular belief, he does enjoy Rodimus's company.

Little does he realize, as he his hanging the mistletoe over the doorway, it does position it above both of them. Rodimus's grin is all teeth, daring and challenging. Smug. Magnus is not amused as he often isn't when Rodimus decides to be how Megatron's puts it: a little shit.

The smug grin is wiped off Rodimus's face as Magnus leans down and gives him a kiss right on the lips. Rodimus...hadn't expected Magnus to meet his challenge. But he certainly isn't complaining now. Especially when Magnus pulls away and he's got the faintest of warmth crawling up his cheeks.

Rodimus's proposition to continue things in his rooms is very much turned down. However, his counter proposal of sharing a drink...is accepted warmly.

Skids/Swerve:

Swerve is pleased with the entire event. The mistletoe was a grand success but so was his newly crafted spiced energon. Skids had also been immeasurable helpful is putting the whole event together and Swerve is even more thankful that his friend stayed behind to help clean up.

It takes them a while and they drink the remaining spiced energon together while they tidy up. The last thing they have to go with remove the mistletoe which Skids offers to do while Swerve wipes down the sticky bar top.

The crinkling of metal is Swerve's only clue that Skids has returned and when he looks up, Skids is hanging it above Swerve's helm with a soft smile.

Their kiss is soft and sweet, tastes like spiced energon and holiday cheer. At least, that's what Skids says when he retells the story. Swerve is just happy the night ended even better than he thought. He keeps the mistletoe in the back. Ready to bring back out next holiday season.

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep1

so once again like a crazy person [i've done this with star wars sequels before] i've decided to take three and half pages of notes over the course of an hour. i've been a fan of the games for at least a decade and i'm actually always watching lore content between the installments though so while i do know some minute details, within the show, there was some things i was interested in and curious about that i just decided to jot down. some of this may be things discussed already and some of it might be something i wasn't sure if anyone brought up before but anyways! maybe i'll do the whole season, but here's my ramblings • them titling the episode "the end" was when i knew i'd love the show • ok but i really wonder if cooper can still do those party tricks? he was really good at them and lucy would probably love them too 🥺 • thinking back, the radio in the first scene mentions not knowing where the president is--- beginning to wonder if he was the guy sitting in on the vault tec meeting • just realized they introduced the mr. handy robot in some of the first scenes • ten years of nuclear threat according to anchor but the show is careful not to give away all the cards because why does the weather anchor make it seem like they know when the bomb will drop? idk but birthday boy mother turns off tv real "head in the sand" like • the nat king cole song that's playing though [wondering if the song is mirroring specifically cooper's feelings about barb despite everything hmm] • horse's name is sugarfoot 🥹 • him having to pay alimony... wonder what the prenup? was like... [still think he probably loves barb 😞]

• them calling him a pinko despite him being an architect of vault boy's persona, a quintessential presentation of a "man's man" acting as a cowboy, a real cowboy, a former marine--- wondering if there was a smear campaign after his situation with barb and vault tec, him working children's parties leads me to believe... • did the kid's say the birthday boy's name was boyd? [if so, there's another character in the games with this name and this is also the name of a character walton has played in another series, funny] • weather man show's up again distressed, wondering if we'll get more info about that day • everyone ignoring, cognitive dissonancing their own nuclear annihilation is so prescient if not disturbing and damning

• him teaching janey the thumb thing ☹️ • cooper's voice when he says "let me see if i can't rustle you up a piece" 😩 • janey being the only one to notice the first bomb • the fear in cooper's eyes • cooper being in denial one last time before realization sets in • people becoming animals the moment they realize what's happening--- one guy punches his friend not letting his family into the fallout shelter • people getting into their cars and cooper onto his horse to escape--- wonder how fast they could be since it doesn't seem you could outrun nuclear annihilation

• lucy being raised so well under the circumstances 😔 [hope she never becomes her father] • i haven't trusted steph since episode one • lucy being a teacher [amongst other things] and asking maximus about what happened after the bombs fell makes so much sense [and also much like another person suggested is an interesting juxtaposition to cooper's pre war knowledge] • lucy showing how skilled she is for being a marriage candidate when in reality we are seeing someone fit for the wasteland is crazy on second watch • is lucy not watching a cooper howard movie with her dad? hello??

• them reading "war and peace" in the family book club is rich • lucy [thinking] she's not good at guns, ironic • steph having to step in like a sisterly type because lucy's mom isn't there 😞 • the wedding dress on lucy being ill fitting, tight as symbolism for lucy not truly "fitting in there" and being constrained [foreshadowing] oof • the vault boy sign in the back saying "don't lose your head" lmao • didn't catch the "cousin stuff" until someone mentioned it on tumblr and twitter 💀

• the flashback we see of lucy ending up being almost a false memory, a misrepresentation of her actual memories, that she has been on the surface, in the sun • norm taunting lucy about her future husband being "anybody" and a "cannibal, crammed full of tumours" 😭 unfortunately for ghoulcy, this was some of the heaviest foreshadowing [the raider also could have been one too] • why didn't hank recognize moldaver? • so many things i still don't understand about vaults 31, 32, 33 • the growing realization they are raiders was pretty funny to me lmao

• moldaver having to sit through the disingenuous lies of hank ugh • norm going into vault 32 like they wanted them to know what was up? or is that just how vault doors work? they used lucy's mom's pip boy [that hank lied about burying] • lucy putting norm in a storage vault, she really is so strong • the handed down wedding dress getting messed up • i am curious if the raiders [shady sands survivors?] only mostly harmed vault tec aligners but maybe not • the way hank and steph retaliating a little too well • hank acting like he doesn't know moldaver when everyone really does know moldaver • moldaver telling lucy she looks like her mother is really such a tipoff

• realizing maximus is getting bullied 😭 • dane... might love maximus a little idk • from latrine duty to basically ruling over the brotherhood of steel • they really showed some dude jacking it lmao it's just normal i guess 💀 • maximus being defeated and having a rightful outburst of emotion, poor guy • the poster saying "the outside world can never harm you"--- funny • chet would've died up there 😭 • them not opening the vault back up for her, wondering if the vapourized bodies are from the initial bomb drop or the subsequent shady sands ones • dane almost gets maximus killed three times tbh • maximus joined the brotherhood of steel to get back at what vault tec did, essentially hank's doing, hank has many enemies • knowing the enclave, it makes sense why siggi is hunted • cooper the ghoul's introduction though • the bounty hunter saying his captors dig cooper up every once in a while to cut pieces of flesh off him 😞 no wonder cooper acts the way he does 😔 he's been taken advantage of, no wonder he doesn't trust anybody and is horrible to everyone • "why is this an amish production of "the count of monte cristo" or the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?" why would he say this 😭 • cooper's... been invited to circle jerks 👀 • does the bounty hunter know the ghoul is cooper howard?

• him not harming the chicken, him healing dogmeat, there's something there, folks • people only digging him up to use him again 😞 • what a coincidence he's dug up just as lucy leaves the vault • "i do this shit for the love of the game" he's a character, he's playing a character, real theatre kid • hence why cooper is introduced as "the ghoul", cooper is long gone • "us cowpokes, we take it as it comes" something about this lineee

[penig]

So we're having a rough summer and I haven't been talking about it because why brood but it's different when you talk about people being nice. So, thumbnail sketch:

We finally (as I've been wanting to do for years) got an estimate on getting the house rewired (pretty sure some of the original wiring installed in 1910 is in use) and partially replumbed (can't use the shower tub because the iron pipes are too clogged), and the paperwork for the loan took forever, and then a high wind came along (on my birthday) and dropped a dead redbud tree on our porch and a large branch on our car, which was totaled, and we had to buy a new (used) car and get a tree service to come out and take care of the fallen wood and trim the trees so no more wood falls, but the cost to take care of the big branch and woodpecker damaged tree in the back yard was more than we could afford with the car business, but that could wait a few months assuming no more high winds come along; and the loan comes through and we get the car squared away and the tree service is scheduled to come and we're starting to breathe again -

And I spy somebody putting what I recognize as a code violation notice on the front gate so I open the door and come out to tell her that if this is about the redbud tree on the porch we've already scheduled the work and she says: "It's everything on the lot. Cut it down to 12 inches. You have ten days" So I point out that most of the tall stuff is legal garden plants that should not be pruned in August, that it's two years since I've been physically capable of doing yardwork of any kind, that the work she's demanding is impossible in that time frame and oh yes, it's August, in Texas, with triple digit temperatures predicted for the foreseeable future and it could very well kill me to try. She thought there might be a local program to help me (No; they're all for structural work) and wouldn't budge. So that was like being shoved back underwater when we'd almost crawled out on shore.

But we put out a call to our friends, and people came over Saturday and did miracles, and almost every day this week somebody has come over (in addition to the people putting holes in our walls and ceilings and arguing over how to run the wires and occasionally turning pale at what they find) to help me in the mornings before the third digit kicked in. We did not, of course prune any of the poor heat stressed legal plants, but great inroads were made on the rest of it, and one friend even cut up the big branch in the back yard and the tree service people hauled it off, along with a collapsed picnic table which they told me, when they quoted the price for this small secondary job, that they would not take.

This morning I could barely move. I'm getting a lot of pain in the good leg as well as the bad leg, and in my back, plus I was just weak with heat and tiredness, and for the first time in almost a year I decided I'd better break out the cane again, at least to take the stairs and walk in the yard to discuss with the friend who came today, the last day before the inspection, where best to put his effort (because it was plain to both of us that I wasn't lifting a finger) in order to convince the inspector that we really had done the best we could and to let the stuff we couldn't get to slide until fall and spring.

And I guess one of the workmen noticed the cane, and noticed that the handrail on the upper staircase had pulled out of the wall on one end (it had been anchored to the sheetrock, not the wall proper; the other end was anchored in paneling and was fine; this happened a couple of months ago and we had bigger worries), and just - fixed it. Because it's certainly fixed now. As is typical in Texas most of the workmen are people I can't even talk to because my Spanish is as bad as their English, so it's not as if we've made friends with them. And I didn't see it done, nor did the foreman know who did it when I brought it up and asked him to thank whoever it was, so it wasn't somebody looking to make points. They just saw a chance to do a small simple thing to benefit a total stranger, and did it.

The point here being that two people - whoever called in the code complaint (seriously, that should be illegal in August, at least for yard code with no clear and present danger) and the city employee who wouldn't listen to reason - went out of their way to force me to focus on the least pressing problem facing us right now at the expense of my own well-being. But they are far, far outnumbered by the people who have gone out of their way to help us, just because we needed help.

So, suck it, cynicism!

[edutainer2022]

UNREQUITED Ch 7

Co-written with @janetm74

Ch 6

AO3 (1-7)

This installment found a place in the tapestry of a vaster story, thanks to the amazing insight of @janetm74, making the implications so much more exciting to ponder and to explore further!

(Page Six)

Ever since Kat Kavanaugh buried a hatchet and wasn't chasing conspiracy theories about them on Global Holovision anymore, watching the news live was a once in a blue moon activity in Casa Tracy. They followed the major world events through John and Eos (maybe a bit of social media on a relatively quiet morning), and they were likely to be part of those in some capacity at least a third of the times. Sometimes a half.

But it was one of those days. A relative lull in rescues compiled with the exhaustion of the previous fortnight streak of disasters bred mildly numb boredom. Batteries too low to pursue their usual hobbies, they gravitated to the lounge.

Scott was ever at the desk with holo screens full of quarterly budget reports, because their biggest brother did stock market numbers for LEISURE, apparently. Virgil was playing, as usual, but the music was slowly fading to a halt. Alan was gaming, or pretending to be while napping, his VR goggles on. Kayo was going through some specs, half leaning on the couch cushions. Even John was in a quiet lull up in orbit, his hologram just bobbing at the comms unit, hanging out with everybody, but not really a part of any conversation.

That left Gordon scralling lazily through newsreels. The sudden yelp sent Alan tumbling on the floor and Scott at least half an inch closer to a cardiac arrest under thirty. A keen observer would have noticed Kayo reaching for a knife in the ankle holster. The piano music keened on an abrupt note and stopped. Several pairs of VERY unamused eyes stared Gordon down.

The Fish was on his feet already, bursting with excitement, sending the news holo to the center of the lounge.

"Did you guys know Fischler has a brother?!?!"

The assorted grumps and groans across the lounge indicated that they not only didn't know, but weren't in the least thrilled by that information.

Only John and Kayo shared a quiet look, because OF COURSE they would know.

Gordon surveyed the lounge in triumph, setting the stage for a punchline.

"He has a brother and he's getting married!"

"Who, Fischler?"

Alan was still scrambling up from his hardwood landing and making a show of rubbing an ouchie. Scott at least looked ready to switch gears to the full "hurt brother!" mode. Gordon was not deterred.

"No, dummy, not Fischer! His brother is getting married!"

"And that's any of our business how?"

Alan was still not ready to relinquish attention from his boo-boo. Not with so many big brothers in attendance. But John, Kayo and Virgil were already sharing concerned LOOKS.

Any widely publicized event with cameras rolling and hundreds in attendance, involving Fischler, could potentially turn into a showcase of his latest "invention", or ten. Which would mean potential casualties and work for IR. They would need to be on the look-out and on standby. Scott waved at the comm to get the volume up.

The holo displayed a close pic of a younger and significantly more polished version of Langstrom Fischler, hair sleecked back, but a weaselly smile just a tad on the manic side.

The celebrity news anchor was gushing about a "dashing fresh face on the World Senate, a philanthropist and patron of innovation, a devoted brother and a consummate athlete, setting off to be a force of a positive change in the world" and "his drop dead gorgeous fiancée, a once Miss Brazil runner-up, who dedicated herself to the selfless life of service, decorated for honor and courage".

The picture on the screen changed to an official GDF snapshot of a tall young brunette in dress blues. The insignia on the collar indicated the rank of Captain and breastplanks - several high ranking awards for valor. The picture switched to a series of candid paparazzi snaps of the "happy couple".

The show host droned on with one corny cliche after another about the "match made of dreams" and a " high profile dream wedding" scheduled to take place on a cozy remote island.

Gordon interrupted the stream of saccharine platitudes:

"Huh? How come we're not invited? Scott, you know like everyone in the World Senate!"

His voice was drowned out by the deafening snap of the metal stylus, broken in Scott's fingers. The sound of the desk chair hitting the floor, as Scott stood up and all but ran from the lounge, was even louder.

"Huh?!"

Gordon, yet again, surmised the bewilderment of everyone present.

Jade eyes squinted a fraction as Kayo watched Scott's outburst and hasty retreat.

Virgil was half out to follow Scott, when a ping came through on Gordon's comm. The sign flashed pink.

"Yay! Looks like I'm going after all! Penny needs a plus one! John, can I borrow your tax?!"

John half waved his brother off, brows furrowed and hands already flying over invisible files, when another pink ping came through. It was Kayo's turn for a "Huh?" moment.

"Looks like Penny needs a plus two, as well. I'm invited".

That deflated Gordon's initial excitement enough to notice Virgil leaving in the general direction of Dad's office, where Scott had locked himself.

Before Virgil reached the door to try and reason with big brother to talk about... whatever that was, John sent two files to his comm.

One - a picture they all saw a hundred times on Dad's desk back in Kansas, but it didn't compute out of context. Scott's Airgroup Wing after a training flight. All hugging and laughing, still in flightsuits. Scott and the girl from the news today - Fischler Jr.'s fiancée - at the center.

The other Virgil never saw before. It would figure since it was a screenshot from, what he recognized with some dread, was Dad's old phone. There was a picture sent to a private chat with Dad of the same girl, in a sundress, and Scott in a polo shirt, apparently both on leave. An almost ten years younger Scott was smiling like he could power up a sun. The message to Dad read "SHE SAID YES!!!".

The date of the message indicated about a month and a half before Scott's mission to Bereznik.

Virgil sank to the floor, leaning on the wall, never going through with the knock on the locked office door.

***

It was such an unbelievable cliché it felt surreal. The thunderstorm, the lightning, the lash of downpour across his face. Then again, it was fitting, as his world was going crashing down around him. Yet again.

There was nothing surreal about the hard edges of Mom's ring she just gave him back.

For about six weeks he was the happiest man alive. Dad's IR project was well underway, and he was to share that dream not only with Dad and brothers, but with the love of his life. He should have known better...

The words were real too - hard and ruthless. About Dad yanking his leash, and expecting nothing but dutiful following in his footsteps and his vision, concealed by his looming shadow, and giving up what they both dreamed about and worked so hard for - test flights, command ranks, career in service.

The echo came back to him often, in one dark hour or another, after his world shattered to pieces yet another time.

Dad voiced his reservations clearly, but did agree to give him Mom's ring. "When you know, you know". Wasn't it how he and Mom got married?

It WAS too soon, they WERE too young, and frateenization within a unit WAS an issue, but with IR lifting off that wasn't to be a problem, once he told her the full scale of the classified project. He should have known better...

He last remembered the ring yanked off his neck with the dogtags chain by a smirking Berezniki guard.

He put up a hell of a fight for that and was beaten within an inch of his life. The first time.

Next time he found it, inexplicably, in Dad's safe on the island, after the search for Zero-X was called off. He meant to ask Kyrano, as he wasn't conscious or coherent enough for the extraction op, or for months after, but the man never returned his calls anymore, sending in a resignation after half a year of following leads on the Hood.

There wasn't much room in his mind or hours in his days to give it more thought for years after. Or more pieces for his heart to break into. He should have known better.

And now she was getting married. To someone bright and promising, changing the world for the better, who wasn't him. The story of his life!

He should have known better as well.

The sound of glass shattering against the wall and a visceral scream finally sent Virgil in, wild-eyed, breaking past the lock.

***

John lifted an eyebrow in a perfect quizzical arch, putting the tablet down, as the "wedding party" poured, or rather, limped into the lounge.

Gordon's tuxedo sleeve was torn clear off, his bowtie, undone, served as a makeshift tourniquet. Parker sported cuts, bruises and a glorious shiner. Penelope's elaborate updo was in disarray, one heel of a golden pump broken. Kayo's slip dress hem was torn, exposing a garter holster.

As John hurried to the kitchen for the first aid kit, he heard her hiss something to the effect of "You should have seen the other guys".

The villa was quiet. Grandma had Alan on the mainland for the weekend. Virgil chased Scott up the volcano. There was a good chance biggest brother and his stormy mood was best quarantined at the Round House for the rest of the day.

John was waiting in the lounge for the fallout, one way or another. He wasn't quite prepared for the sight on display, handing out ice packs.

Gordon hissed too and bit off a curse, as John set about cleaning the bullet graze on his arm.

"Pen, do all your friends whip out a standard issue gun at the altar and read the groom Miranda rights instead of vows?"

Lady Penelope was busy trying to look poised while breaking the second heel off a designer pump, to make them even.

"It was a deep undercover mission to round up a drug and slave trafficking ring. A destination wedding was a most fortunate venue for the occasion."

Kayo looked up from the kitchen isle at that, not pausing to stop extracting a considerable arsenal of throw-knives from her bodice.

"Looks like the Fischler brothers were bankrolled by mafia. The crazy inventions AND the World Senate election. In exchange for some... perks."

Kayo snorted and went back to her inventory of weapons.

Gordon perked up as the anesthetic cream kicked in and forgot to NOT wave the injured hand around to assist his narrative.

"It was actually kinda cool! The bride barked out "Hands up!" instead of "I do"! The bridesmaids all dropped their bouquets and brandished guns. The bridal party were all Organized Crime and Counterterrorism. Well, and us... A little  heads up wouldn't have hurt, Penny. Then all hell broke loose. Rose petals and confetti everywhere. You should have seen Fischler's face!"

Gordon was nearly flailing with excitement, so John's hands pushed him mildly back into the seat. Turquoise eyes found Penelope's line of sight, studiously avoiding Kayo:

"So... no wedding?"

"No wedding indeed."

Up on the Tracy Volcano Virgil's comm vibrated, switched to silent mode hours ago. John's message read "No wedding."

Virgil exhaled a sigh, but didn't yet know how to break the subject with a brother, seated next to him on the sun-warmed boulder, overlooking the ocean. Blue eyes were fixed on a point far away in the distance, or maybe far away in the past, Scott still wouldn't talk about. 

[xxwitchylanexx]

From the Keys to Your Heart

Rebirth Retold Chapter 6

The parade in Junon isn't until the end of the week so maybe a little side quest to Crow's Nest to kill the time.

This is my longest chapter yet, and you should reread chapter 7 cause the beginning has changed a bit to fit in this new chapter. Thanks everyone for reading! Feel free to comment and let me know what you liked, and if you feel like this fits our Cloud <3

Masterlist

Chapter 7

Side quest spoilers

*~*

Under Junon didn’t exactly embrace your group with open arms, but you’d take what you could get especially since the members were labeled as eco-terrorists. The mayor, a hardened woman from years being crushed under Shinra’s boot, turned a blind eye and pointed you in the direction of a cozy inn in the heart of the fishing town. You had your reservations: the glint in her stare were practically made of dollar signs, and how she sat at the entrance like she was waiting for them, not to mention the bounty on your companions heads could drastically increase the quality of life for her residents. But who were you to turn down her hospitality when the prospect of a real bed outweigh your reservations.

You were eager to walk along the uneven cement pathways, the stone was so worn down from decades of traffic that the path was nearly just gravel now, as you imagined what these houses, warehouses, and businesses looked like before they deteriorated to the crumbling patchwork structures they were now. The town was probably charming, maybe gentle, before Shinra installed gaudy support structures and the big steel plate above their heads, what once gave hope for a city metropolis now sucked the life and sunlight from the very heart of the under city. You could almost see it in your mind, cute vintage houses made of the finest dark wood, with olive shutters on the windows. Aesthetically pleasing open verandas that connected right to a shopkeeper’s house so they could run their mom n’ pop shop right outside their homes. An intricately designed harbor that really gave the town its spirit with top of the line boats to fish, after all Junon was known for its fishing.

Now those darling houses were patched with driftwood and corrugated tin, most houses had spiderweb cracks in more than half of the windows, and the shutters were long since abandoned. The shops were still open but the owners eyes were hollow and shaky on their feet, too weary from the day to day fight to keep breathing. The docks were in shambles, the planks throughout its entirety had more holes than wood and what was patched was half assed with whatever material they had on hand, but the most devastating aspect of Under Junon was the ships and the sea. Each vessel was anchored on the shore under Shinra’s order. The nets were moth eaten and moss grew along the sides where the boat met the water. The sea was polluted and greenish yellow particles floated within it, the air was smoggy and thick. Without their boats you assumed the people were going hungry. What once was a bustling port town was now the slums 2.0. Meanwhile Shinra turned a blind eye, the only ones hearing the townsfolk’s protests were the foot soldiers who operated the elevator.

You sat in the town square on the circular benches near the anchor they immortalized when they first founded Junon, it was the very first anchor they dropped on their first deep sea fishing voyage, that's what the plaque says anyway. Your inquiring eyes moved over to the colossal skeletal fossil of the towns greatest rival, The Terror of the Deep. Its maw hung open and its empty sockets bore into your own. Funny how their symbol of liberation, now foreshadowed their impending doom.

The sun had set beyond the horizon an hour or two ago. The others split apart to gather any potential info on where the guys in robes were going next or any details on the big event that Shinra was preparing for at the end of this week. You heard whispers, but nothing solid. However one thing seemed pretty clear from a rumor that everyone seemed to be repeating. Rufus Shinra was coming to town, and where the president goes the Turks follow.

A shrill scream pierced through the evening chill, and panic followed. “Help! Priscilla is in trouble!” You seen Cloud dart out of the inn, a hand firmly wrapped around the hilt of his sword. The others soon joined him in a circle, hovering over the narrow stone stairway that led to the docks. Please…. just don’t get involved… Your inner voice pleaded. Your head wasn’t in the game. Aerith’s teasing and Gabe’s implications weighed you down significantly. Your body was sore and tired from falling down a mine, sleeping on a rough rocky terrain, and riding chocoback for a whole day. Overall your head was foggy and sluggish, your edge was dulled and your instincts lagged behind.

But of course they were going to help, they always did, and despite every muscle in your body begging for relief, you hauled yourself off of the bench to follow them into danger.

*~* Who would’ve thought you’d save two people from drowning within two days, and why on this floating rock through space does no one else know CPR? You groaned, your shoulders slumping with the breath that left your body, as you stalked back up the stairs from the utter disaster of battle. You reeked of fish, and brine. Your clothes were wet from the slimy terror splashing in and out of the too warm sea. Your back ached from bending so far back that you almost fell over, all to avoid being smacked by a fish tail. You only wished you’d stabbed the overgrown goldfish harder. The only thing reigning in your fiery temper was the free room, all to yourself, with a shower and a laundry facility.

The inn was one of the only buildings that still held a calming warmth. You traced the pattern of the sage green wallpaper with a fingertip as you passed through the halls, taking time to admire the paintings of sea creatures cased in handcrafted golden frames.

You ascended the staircase to the next floor and rounded the corner at the top, walking right past a door that was left ajar thinking nothing of it before stopping in your tracks just past the frame as Cloud’s voice filtered past the doorway. His words were dry, almost emotionless, but if not for that underlying sadness you would’ve thought nothing of it and carried on.

“Was that another test?” You braced your weight alongside the wall, your palm brushing against the ridges and dips along the surface.

“What? No!” Tifa sputtered, her voice high and defensive, before heaving in defeat. “Why try to deny it. I guess it was. I’m sorry.” Your pulse quickened as the room remained silent the only thing to be heard was the rush of blood in your ears. You didn’t need to be inside to feel the thick tension that built between the two much like the twisting nausea that crawled inside your stomach. >Just how close are they?

Cloud huffed. “We’ll find time to talk, just the two of us. Figure things out.” Your nostrils flared, your esophagus began to burn as the bile worked its way up. This was none of your business.

Your feet carried you swiftly away from there, much like a mouse running from a cat, past the next door and stopped in front of the room designated to you. Your vision tunneled and your surrounding grew hazy as his voice replayed ‘just the two of us’ in your head. Your eyes stared blankly at the 203 on the doorplate. You could faintly hear your name being called, but you were unsure if it was real or just the quiet yearning of your heart that you were struggling to accept.

You closed your eyes and propped your head against the door, inhaling deeply to calm your rapid heart beat, and turned the handle of the door and slipped into the comfort of the rooms closed walls. Your lungs expanded freely without the eyes of your friends around, as you sagged against the door frame. It's none of your business. You reminded yourself as you tilted your head towards the ceiling letting your eyelids slide close.

You slowly peeled your eyes open to look around. This room was similar to the rest of the inn as far as wall style went, only this one was a rich red instead of earthy green. A queen bed, all done up in blankets of cream and tan, was pushed right up to the right side of the room. It was well lit with a square fixture on the ceiling overhead and a few table lamps. A round rug covered the wood and provided a layer of insulation from the cold creaking floor.

With a strangled groan you pushed yourself off the door and shrugged off your equipment, leaving it to fall haphazardly to the floor. Every muscle in your body burned as you lumbered over to the bed, your clumsy feet catching on the rug a few too many times. But every moment of pain was worth the relief you felt as your face nuzzled into the plush mattress and warmth flooded you as you buried yourself under the blankets.

Regardless of the pure exhaustion that plagued you, sleep had continued to evade you. Your head swam with the event of the day and thanks to Aerith’s little accusation yesterday you came to the conclusion this horrendous feeling must be jealousy, though if you admitted it you’d have to accept the fear and anger that’s welling inside you too. Gods you angry. Not at her, or Cloud, or Tifa, but yourself. How the hell did this happen? You don’t do feelings, and you certainly didn’t do romance. Seduction and infatuation, sure, but never love. It was a liability, a weakness, one could exploit if they wished. So where did it all go wrong?

It didn’t help that his room was right next to yours. Only the thin drywall between your two headboards separated you, and his thumped against the plaster rhythmically, his raspy grunts muffling through to keep your rapid thoughts circling the thought of him. Were those reps he was counting? Leave it to him to have a nightly workout.

You sighed, and mentally imagined as the conflicting emotions, the jealousy, the wishful thinking, the ghost of possible feelings, all the warmth and comfort, and pushed them all into a tiny metal chest at the deepest and darkest place that house all the other memories you kept locked away. You can’t be jealous because you don't care. You just needed to keep your distance and in a couple weeks you’ll be at the saucer and can put this whole fiasco to bed. A tiny murmur of sadness shined from the useless organ in your chest, which you quickly stamped down too. This will pass. After all you’ve gotten rather good at separating your mind from pain. You don't see how this was any different.

Once you did finally achieve the sweet release of unconsciousness you were submerged into the hideous atrocities of your childhood. Usually your subconscious could identify when you were reliving one, and change the course of the dream world, but after all of the challenges today- and yesterday- brought, your body and mind were just to exhausted. Your collective presence was pulled down into the sedation of lethargy.

It started back in the saucer. You had just won the last race, beating out the slimy asshole Chuck, and now you stood in the glamorous stables, a brush in hand and a treat in the other. It felt as if your head, or eyes, was vibrating as you ran the brush through your silver chocobo’s feathers. You heard sniffling, but kept your eyes on your bird. The last thing you wanted was to catch his attention. “No…please, stop…” Your pulse spiked, and blood ran white hot with fury. You set your brush down calmly, and assured the bird in front of you that everything would be okay.

But when you turned around to beat the shit out of the guy, you were suddenly clawing desperately at the gritty ground. Adrenaline flooded your brain as pure desperation clutched at your chest and constricted your airways. No… not here… Not again… Footsteps dug into the gravel and the ground under you vibrated. A group of men circled around you, four at least. The one closest to you gripped your ankle hard enough that it would bruise and began to drag you back into their makeshift circle. Tears fell rapidly, and your nose ran like crazy. You tried to focus on the taste of your own tears to distance yourself from the burning pain in your fingers as your nails cracked against the tiny pebbles and pieces of cement as you clawed at anything to get away.

You found that escaping was futile, so changed gears trying to kick frantically to open a chance to escape, all you needed was an ounce leverage. A small part of you just wanted to stop. Your lungs burned. Your fingers were bleeding. Your vision blurred. Your ears rang. Why fight it? There was no hope. You will die here.

A sick sadistic cackle seeped through the static. His gravelly voice, like an old muffler that rusted through where it should’ve connected to the carburetor, told the others to stop. You couldn’t make out his words, your consciousness was distorted like you were being held just beneath the surface of water, but his tone sparked fear in every fiber of your being. And like a match the embers of your resolve caught flame and blazed brightly once again. You kicked and screamed and scratched and even bit, as the other men shuffled around trying to grab whatever they could get their hands around to hold you down, but the moment you heard the clicking and shuffling of a belt coming undone you crumbled.

Your eyes filled with tears that refused to fall. Your mouth felt dry and your own cries, pleas, and begging sounded funny to your own ears. You searched for anyone, anything that might help. You knew hope was lost when your frantic gaze landed on the nosy middle aged woman in the window across the street. She held her silk curtains open with her fan, her cold impenetrable chocolate eyes watching you like it was the best entertainment she’d seen that night with no intent or sense of urgency to help.

Darkness pressed in on you until everything faded to nothing. Whether it be that you didn’t remember exactly what happened or if it was just so horrible that even your unconscious mind didn’t want to relive it, you would never know, but when you came to everything was red. No matter how many times you’ve relived this nightmare it always returns here. Your vision was streaked in crimson, bodies lay in piles around you. Some were intact, others were heavily injured, the rest were in pieces scattered around you. All of them in pools of their collected blood. Their eyes wide, still, and lifeless. Their expressions frozen as if they were screaming for their lives that never reached your cotton filled ears.

You caught an image of yourself in the rippling reflection in the puddle around your bare feet. You looked like an emissary of Odin himself. S/c skin smeared with blood, and every fiber of your awkwardly torn clothes soaked as well, and dripping down the planes of your thighs. Your sunken eyes were hollow, and lifeless beyond the flicker of wrath held within. Sobs convulsed through your tiny malnourished body and the rusted knife shook violently in your hand. A scream pierced your ear drums and everything began to shake violently. Pressure began to build and squeezed and—

You shot up from the mattress like you were struck with magic, gasping for a clear breath and clawing at the clothes that clung to your form. Loud knocking rattled the door, and a voice you weren’t entirely familiar with yelled at you from the other side. Your thoughts were far away when you stumbled to the door. You took a deep breath and collection your carefully collected facade before pulling the wretched door open. The ninja girl that you saved yesterday smiled widely at you, her lips moving a mile a minute but nothing reached your ears. You weren’t sure if you should consider her a bad omen or a breath of fresh air.

She barely gave you enough time to fix your hair and put your boots on before she herded you into Cloud’s room for weird introductions and strategy planning. Only to find out that the mayor did, in fact, rat you out. You couldn’t find it you to be angry with her though.

An engine roared to life just outside the inn, as Yuffie escaped out the rattling window. The obnoxious revving made your ears ring again and your head throb behind your eye. You’ve met some weird people while traveling with the gang but you never would’ve guessed Cloud had a biker stalker, and surprise surprise hes another soldier. You’ve been awake for all of an hour, and you were so weary you nearly said your goodbyes and parted there. If it wasn’t for that small masochistic part of you that was comforted by the chaos you would’ve been on the first chocobo home.

Once you all regrouped you discussed what you should do now. Shinra wouldn’t arrive until the end of the week when the parade was scheduled to begin. You had three days to kill, and it didn’t seem like a smart move to go topside until the day of. Barret and Cloud didn’t exactly blend into a crowd. So Barret sought out the mayor with a bone to pick as you kept to the back. You just felt so out of place. You didn’t belong with these people. Every piece of you just fought to stay upwards under the immense pressure.

Though here you were, listening as the mayor explained why she did it. She even gave him a portion of their bounty in exchange for the trouble, and the argument stopped there. She pulled her dry brown hair back into a tighter pony before returning her gloved hand to her hip. “Well, since you clearly didn’t have anything better to do, think I could out source you to work?” The mayor, Rhonda, spoke. Barrett nudged Cloud’s shoulder before shuffling in front of him. “The remainder of your bounty- I need it delivered to someone. I’ve already got a porter picked out too.” She whistled and a gray whippet dog came running before sitting back on his haunches at her feet. “This here’s Salmon. Since he’ll be the one making the drop, it’s your job to get him there safe.”

“Doesn’t seem like too much if a hassle, but… who exactly is this money for?” Barret rasped, crossing his arms over his chest.

“My son. Haven’t seen him in a spell, not since he left town… and never looked back. This gil is me washing my hands of him.” She mimicked hand washing to accentuate her point. “He’s a grown man. Can’t be clingin’ to his mom’s skirts- or her pocket book.”

“We’ll take the job, for a price.” Cloud said as he shifted his weight.

“Much obliged. Once you make it to the Crows nest, find Toby. He’ll make sure you get the reward. But if I find a single hair outta place on Sam, you won’t live to enjoy it. You keep my boy safe.” She said with a finger pointed at his chest. You scoffed, you hardly doubt that she would last a minute against Cloud, let alone you.

*~*

You decided that Barret was just a man made up of intense contradictions. He was loud, brash, quick to jump the gun, yet could be incredibly gentle, and cautious. He was as stubborn as he was loud and nearly six feet and four inches of hulking muscle. A walking intimidation, yet the first to go to bat for his people. His face, while moderately attractive, was made of sharp lines, and a strong jaw. His glare struck in many through the dark lenses of his shades, and his resting bitch face had people running for the hills. Not to mention the gargantuan canon grafted to his arm. He was both a fierce, loving, and protective father, and the paragon of terrorism- something Shinra monopolized on that.

So the scene unfolding just before you really struck a chord in you. You were never intimated by him personally, you had nerves of steel and skills to back you up, but to see all that muscle, all that bark, hunched over this white and grey mutt scratching behind an ear and cooing his promises to keep him safe with puckered lips like he was speaking to an actual child really dispelled all illusions of his tough guy persona.

“Don’t you worry. Any monster that wants to getcha is gonna have to go through me.” He gave one more scratch under the dogs chin then straightened out to his full height. Salmon, the dog, turned on his heels and scurried down the beaten and barren path that led away from the rotting stench of the sea town. You followed along at the back like a captured spy now held hostage.

There was no joy right now, your circumstances and inner mockery only intensified the emptiness that lingered, but you tried your hardest to focus on the changing terrain, the rocky footpaths slowly fading into something a little more green. There wasn’t much of point you discovered as the back of Tifa’s head beckoned your scrutiny. Every swish of her perfect brown hair ticked like a bomb under your skin just waiting for the clock to hit zero. Her motherly nature shined brightly and lessened Aerith’s concerns, and in that moment you wished you were more like her. Tifa could easily validate someone’s feelings while providing a soothing direction. You actually envied her ability to connect with people, something you struggled with, and it occurred to you that this may have been the first time you’ve ever viewed someone as competition, and the notion left you uncomfortable especially since you truly did enjoy Tifa’s company.

There was still hours of hiking left, and you didn’t want to stare daggers at her back for the remainder of it, so you picked up your pace and slipped between the two of them until you took up a place between the guys at the front. Out of sight out of mind, right? Thankfully for you, Barret was loud enough to drown them out, although being up here came with it’s own challenges. You tried to subdue the rapid thoughts that created the lingering weight that plagued your body, and resisted the deep seeded temptation to sneak a peak at the blonde man to your right. You kept telling yourself that this new stubborn obsession stemmed from curiosity, that’s why, no matter how many times you swiped away the words that formed behind your eyelids, the question always circled back to the forefront of your mind. Was Cloud and Tifa an item? A wistful sigh slipped past your bow shaped lips. You didn’t need to see him to know his eyes were on you, searching for a reason for your distress.

You saw his mouth open to say something out of your peripheral, but before he had a chance to voice his concern Barret was barking out a question, and his heavy gaze finally moved on both giving you a sense of relief and longing. “Hey, Cloud! Remind me, how old were you when you left home?” Fortunately, or maybe not, Barret’s inquiry also piqued your curiosity. You certainly didn’t need to know anymore about him, but the topic was a good distraction from the chaos brewing in your head.

“Fourteen.” He answered simply, his attention returning to the trail in front of you. “No, wait, it was spring so thirteen.”

Barret sucked his teeth a moment in thought. “Suppose that’s usual for small town boys like you. What’d your mom have to say?” As if you didn’t have enough problems rattling inside your skull, as the word mom hit your ears your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. You didn’t think about mothers a whole lot, specifically cause you didn’t really have one. Though now that you were thinking about it, it was hard not to wonder what his mother was like. She must have been a strong woman to have raised such a stubborn man. What would you have been like if your own mother had survived?

“Not much.” The words left his lips so casually as he shrugged. “Didn’t try to stop me- like you said nothing unusual about it. But…”

“But?” Barret badgered.

“Two-thousand gil. She offered me that. ‘Make a fresh start’.” You looked to your shoes to hide the yearning look on your face.

“Guess mom’s are the same, all over.” You scoffed inwardly. Yeah, if only that was true. The mother-like figure you had to endure was a far cry from a good role model. She hadn’t even provided the basic safety and shelter, at least not for free. In her eyes you were just a cash cow, and the debt you racked up just living with her was enough to keep you there forever if not for Sam.

“I turned the money down though. Didn’t need it. I was planning to enlist straight away.” You raised your head to sneak a glance at him for the first time since yesterday. The slant of his mouth inched upwards, a ghost of a smile, like he was recalling the memory. You wonder, did she worry about him? Was she sad to see him go? Was she lonely? It might be sick to wish someone to be sad, but for his sake you did. What kind of mother would she be if his absence didn’t bother her?

“But you still can’t help settin’ your price at two grand. Sentimental ain’t cha?” Barret wiggled his eyebrows at him, Cloud’s lack of response answered his question.

About two hours in your party approached the coast line, and your inner turmoil seemed to mellow out like the slow crashing waves against the rocky shoreline. You held your hand above your eyes as a make shift visor as you looked up at the scorching high noon sun. Something course rubbed along your calf had you casting your stormy e/c eyes down to the source. Red’s large golden eyes, albeit spotted with burning circles that swam as your eyes readjusted, peered up at you as his fur brushed lightly against your skin.

“Are you alright?” He asked, the timbre of his voice so smooth it did put your heart at ease, maybe a litter bittersweet but it was something nonetheless.

“Yeah.” You lowered a hand to ruffle the fur on his head. “I appreciate your concern, but I'm okay. I didn’t get much sleep.” Your gaze wavered from Red to Barret briefly as Barret belted on a “Okay, hear me out.” which usually meant trouble for the rest of you.

“What?” Cloud snapped, his patience for the hulking man nearly spent already. You cocked an eyebrow at Red as you gave him a toothy grin. You angled your head towards the men hoping that Red caught your drift. You sincerely enjoyed the banter and nitpicking between the two.

“Ya know how some parents stop their kids from leavin’ the nest? Claimin’ ‘it’s too soon’ or ‘they’re not ready’” Barret ranted waving his arms here and there to make a point. “Any excuse to keep them at home.”

“What about it?” The crease between Cloud’s eyes returned and his frown deepened.

“Loads of parents’re like that, but I told myself I’d be different.” His big meaty palm thumped at his chest right above his heart. “I’d never keep my little girl from flyin’! I don’t wanna clip her wings! I want ‘er to soar!” Both arms raised through the air, flapping childishly like a bird. Cloud scoffed with an exaggerated eye roll, the barely noticeable smirk not going unnoticed. Barret swirled around to get into his space. “I hear you scoffin’. You think I can’t do it?! You think I’ll keep er all to myself!”

Cloud stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms, his baby blues amusedly gazing over the hulking man. “Oh yeah.” You snickered.

“And that’s what scares me!” Barret erupted, his arms falling heavily to his sides. The two of them moving their feet once again. “As much as I wanna let ‘er fly, I dunno if I’ll be able to let go when the time comes! Maybe I’ll panic- get in her way, hold her down, all to keep her safe! Oh, Marlene! I wish you could be my baby girl forever!” You stared wide eyed at his hysterics. You couldn’t believe what you were looking at. Is he crying? You shot a look at Red to see if he was seeing this shit too. He heaved a heavy sigh, and shaking his head. He wasn’t nearly as entertained as you.

Soon the coast line faded and the path led you higher up hills, and up a rocky cliff past an old decaying boat, an old weather worn flag still lamely adorned the mast. The crumbling brittle ferns were replaced with lush leafy plants and full swaying trees the farther you got from Junon. It wasn't until you passed one of Chadley’s information towers that the gravel path ended and you came across patches of little yellow flowers. Each patch bloomed with different shades of yellow; some light like the sun, others deeper like the hues in Red’s eyes and your favorites were pale and light like the color of a Woodland chocobo or the spikes of his wild hair.

“Oh my sweet baby girl!” His cries took you by surprise, but the tears streaming down his cheeks really left you dumbfounded. This can’t be the same guy who blew up a reactor. It just can’t.

“What now?” Cloud snapped, his steady loss of patience over the day coming to it’s end.

“Your daddy… your silly daddy… he’s gonna…” Barret’s sobs were briefly interrupted as he sniffled wetly between deep shaky breaths. “He’s gonna fail you! Oh, I can’t let you go! I just can’t!”

“Barret, get your shit together!” Cloud snarled. “Marlene’s barely out of diapers. You got time!”

“Right, right. I’m just getting worked up over nothing! Yeah! She won’t be leaving me for awhile!” His sentence started a bit crestfallen before perking up towards the end.

That seemingly was the end of the conversation, but then a few minutes later as you were passing one of the beaten down chocobo rest stops you seen a wicked smirk form on Cloud’s face from the corner of your eye. “Then again…” He trailed off in a mocking tone. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Barret chastised him with a stern ‘Hey’ then the two of them turned to look at you as you doubled over in hysterics. It just caught you so off guard. You hadn’t seen Cloud really joke around, but this fucker was turning out to be a mischievous little shit just like Aerith.

You straightened up and took a deep breath to compose yourself. You reached out and pushed against Cloud’s arm with a wide smile on your face. “You’re such an ass!” His smile faltered as the light force made him take a step back before it changed into something more gentle, more intimate, and you quickly turned to Barret. He stood there frozen and quiet which you didn’t actually think was possible. The girls giggled along behind you, Aerith giving you a pat on the back and then you started moving again. “I wouldn’t worry Barret. After all you clearly know what’s best for her.”

“You mean it?” he asked. You nodded.

“Just look at now. You left her behind to keep her safe, even though I’m sure you’re missing her.”

“You’re right!”

“Also…” you snuck a glance over at Cloud before finishing your train of thought, “Just like Cloud’s mom when she offered him money, you can let her fly and still be the air under her wings. Support is everything.” You heard him sniffle again and you rolled your eyes. Gods he was so unexpectedly emotional. His steps thundered loud against the ground was your only warning to the crushing hug he enveloped you in.

He wrapped his arm around you from behind and squeezed you to his body, picking you up off your feet in the process. You squirmed in his embrace, kicking your feet trying to free yourself before you submitted to your fate. The girls came to your rescue, and tried to pull you free, each pulling on an arm. Aerith even tried to tickle him to get him to release you. When he finally set you down your eyes caught Cloud’s again. The gentle smile, and softened eyes made your chest warm and fluttery. You swallowed it down, and chalked it out to be lingering exhaustion, and stretched out your now sore back.

Salmon started barking from up ahead, and your hand dropped to the hilt along your back out of habit. You couldn’t see anything, but your ears trained on a rhythmic flapping sound, and the hairs on your arm stood up. “There!” You yelled. The others looked up and seen the giant winged fiends. Sandstorm Drakes. “Take cover!” You ducked behind a giant red tank as one of them cast aerora, and you cursed under your breath. You peeked over the metal tank as Cloud grabbed your arm and pulled you back down to cover. Heavy winds soared above you as your chest heaved with adrenaline.

“You okay?” He asked looking no worse for wear.

“Yeah.” You let the quiet settle you as you thought out a plan. You weren’t bad at aerial fighting, but in this instance you didn’t have any long range weapons. You could jump, but you doubted you get a good enough range to land any hits. If you could time it right to use the tank for height you should be able to reach. Cloud shifted besides you and another idea formed in your head as you registered the sound of his sword clanking against the metal tank. You did have materia. You gaze flicked to his, and a sly grin spread across your face. “I can give you an opening.” You could hear Barret screaming at the flying creatures as he shot at them and chime like music of Aerith’s magic hitting its mark. The screeching of the drakes continuously got louder and louder along with the increase pressure of the wind whipping around the battlefield ringing in your ears.

He gave a curt nod before jumping back out there. You creeped around the side of the tank and clutched at the bangle around your wrist concentrating on the green materia slotted into one of the chambers. The orb began to glow before you released the spell and aerora was cast on the closest drake. Its wings beat heavily against the current, but its protective aura faltered and disappeared. You jumped into the fray and scurried behind Aerith’s shield clutching your bangle as you prepared another spell.

A sharp cry pierced the sky as one fell to the ground with an echoing thump as Cloud pierced it in a upward arc. Your second spell landed much like the first however as it’s shield flickered out it became enraged and locked its eyes on Cloud’s falling form. It began to swoop and before you could fully think it through you raced across the land and jumped. Of course you wouldn’t reach its height on your own but as Cloud descended he held his blade flat on its side. As you gained height you planted your feet firmly onto the blade and pushed upwards giving yourself more momentum to gain altitude.

You pulled your sword free from its scabbard and angled back. As soon as the you were in range you plunged the sword into its chest. It’s screech pierced your ears and made them ring painfully the proximity disorienting you for a moment. You firmly brought one foot to its chest and kicked with all your strength to free your sword the movement adding an extra distance between you and the carcass. As fell you realized the fiend was following the same path down only a few feet beside you and there was no way to change direction or move out of the way before it crushed you. You sheathed the sword, the weapon only to cause more harm if you were land on it, and turned you body so you would land sideways. The impact will painful, but you’ll be able to roll away before the drake’s crushing weight would flatten you like a pancake.

Here it comes. You thought as you tucked your arms in before your body met the unforgiving ground. You bit your lip to contain the scream that died in your throat as your arm took the brunt of the impact. You rolled three times before coming to a halt.

You flopped your head back for a second to just process the pain shooting through your body, a warm heat radiating from your forearm. You took a few shaky breathes as the intensity faded. Nothing that a simple cure spell wouldn’t heal. You propped yourself back on the uninjured elbow to make sure everyone else was okay. Aerith dusted of the bottom of her dress, Tifa was messing with the straps of gloves, Barret was adding extra bullets to one of the fiends, Red sat back licking a paw, and Cloud was faced away from you slotting his sword back onto his back. Looks like no one else is hurt.

As the fiends broke down and return to the lifestream in ribbons of twirling luminescent greens you tuned in to the way the Planet welcomed them home. You always wondered why humans didn’t return to the planet the same way. Souls, yes, but the bodies are usually sent out to sea or buried, sometimes even cremated. You weren’t sure if other people could feel it the way you do, but it felt different when the two species returned. Fiends are warm and accepting of the change as if that was what they were born to do. Humans felt more complex, though it could be because you were the one to send them ‘home’. Some fought it, other times the strands felt empty or sad, or extremely angry, but no matter the emotion the lifestream was there to accept them, leaving their empty husks behind. You could only hope that people who leave this life to cross to the next, who died of natural causes, went more peacefully.

Does Aerith feel them too? It was a valid question. As a Cetra you imagined she could feel the lifestream better than you. Could she hear them?

The hand that was outstretched towards you came into focus as you blinked yourself back to reality. “You good?” Cloud asked as you took his gloved hand in your own.

As he pulled you to your feet a sharp pain blazed across your forearm. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from reacting though his blue eyes flicked down to the offending appendage. You huffed as you regained your footing cocking your good arm on your hip to mask the throbbing. Damn thing is probably broken. “Why does everyone keep asking me that today?”

“That wasn't an answer.” He shot back as he scratched at the back of his neck.

You huffed and poked his forehead with a finger. Your eyes narrowing as you studied him. “You’re to observant.” You spoke low and smooth, then retreated from where you wished to be.

Salmon barked down the road and if the windmills, and tattered fences were anything to go by you were close to Crow’s Nest.

*~*

Cloud followed after Toby into the wooden walls of Crow’s Nest and down the rocky trail that led into the fortress. Toby rambled on and on though it all went in one ear and out his other, you consumed every little thing that raced through his head right now. He’d taken his eyes off you for a second as seven of you entered and in that second you were gone, and if he was being honest he wasn’t sure if he’d find you again.

Walking in he couldn’t help but notice the sturdy structure, safety was always his top priority. It was smart that they used the rough rocky mountain as part of their defense, he’ll give them that, but they needed a much gate and guard system. Then there was these sand bags piled up along the left wall, and he could only hope they weren’t there to hold up the wall— it wouldn’t surprise him though.

At the bottom Tifa and Aerith also broke off the main group to take a look around, and with some luck one of them would run into you. The gravel under his feet turned to smooth stone, albeit uneven, as he descended into the heart of the town. He paused to scan his surroundings, that’s what his excuse was anyway, but really he was searching for you. He relented before climbing up the stairs to the bar after Toby, Barret and Red close behind him.

He caught the gist of what Toby wanted. Fiends at the lighthouse, and Kyrie causing more trouble. He huffed and rolled his eyes, a hand landing on his hip in irritation. With Red’s nose and his annoyance directed at the wannabe merc they decided they should probably deal with this. They could set out in the morning, take care of it, then make their way back to Junon in time for the big event.

He didn’t spend another minute taking about it though, he was already down the stairs and looking for their lodging for the night. With that injury he thought that’d be the best place to start his search.

When that came up empty, checked out the cliffs that overlooked the sea. More often that not he’d run into you- on purpose, but he’d never admit that- on your own away from their make shift camp for the night basking in the quiet of nature. He liked to think it was the privacy you craved, much like himself, though when you were asked you said you just felt more relaxed under the open sky. But, now as he stared out and the sunset over the cliff side you were nowhere in sight.

He seen the flow of the skirt of Aerith’s dress before he heard her. “Looking for Y/n?” He turned to see her better at the pier just up the staircase next to him. Both of her hands were clasped behind her back as she swayed along with the wind, the wood creaking beneath her feet as she moved.

He didn’t hesitate, or grow embarrassed, this time. “Have you seen her?”

She skipped down the steps her smile growing in diameter as she stepped up to him. She opened her mouth to tease him, he was sure of it, before her brows wrinkled and a frown replaced her smile. “Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen her since we came in.”

“Right.” He nodded and mumbled a quick ‘Thanks’ before stalking off, with just a bit more gusto, to resume his search.

You’ve been acting strange since last night- no-before that. Whatever Gabe said to you was the beginning. You distanced yourself from everyone leading your chocobo behind the rest of them. You masked it with a charming smile and deflected questions, but he noticed. He always notices. The light didn’t reach your eyes as you joked around, and you didn’t even try to scold Barret for being obnoxious. He seen the way your movements were sluggish, how you stumbled on your feet as you hacked at the Terror of the Deep. He waved it off as exhaustion, so much has happened in just two days. Even he was wearing down. He hoped a good nights sleep was all you needed.

But you looked worse than just exhausted as you slumped over the door in the inn. All worry and doubt he felt from his conversation with Tifa disappeared when he seen you. You looked so defeated. The door the only thing keeping you on your feet as you stared vacantly at it. His chest tightened and he stumbled closer. He didn’t know what to do. Comforting people wasn’t exactly his specialty though when called out to you that seemed to help. His heart dropped to his stomach when you just shrugged him off and slipped inside your room leaving him to stare where you were just moments before. He warred with him self for a moment between knocking on your door or leaving you be, ultimately he turning back to his down and going inside with a slump in his shoulders. Had you even noticed that he called out to you?

He couldn’t sleep of course, not that he ever did anymore. Even the tiniest of sounds were enough to have him stirring, but last night he was filled with a restless energy. Every time he closed his eyes your crestfallen expression appeared. He tossed and turned for upwards of an hour before giving up, settling on some sit ups until his muscles ached and his eyelids drooped.

When the first rays of sunlight filtered in through his window everyone was herded into the room, and that’s when he started to think he’d done something wrong. You lingered in the back, you didn't offer any suggestions, you wouldn’t look in his direction at all. Every time he checked on you you had that same far off look glued onto your pretty face. He couldn’t think of anything he did to upset you, unless he creeped you out in the mines- and honestly he wouldn’t blame you. The timing just didn’t make sense though. You got along fine until you left the ranch. He spent most of the day agonizing over how to mend the situation, and frustrated that he was too awkward to know what to say.

Then out of nowhere you brightened up again, your laugh as breathtaking as the radiant smile on your face. Pride swelled in his chest and a heat rushed to his cheeks. He made you laugh. His heart still throbbed when he thought about the way your hand felt so warm against his upper arm as you pushed him playfully. He didn’t think you’d been listening to Barret’s nonsense either, yet there you comparing the knucklehead to his mom.

He really thought that would be the end of whatever was going on with you, but now he thinks he may have overstepped. He was just going to tell you your fighting was good as always or maybe something less lame when he held out his hand to help you up. But he saw it. Your lips pushed together in a thin line, your eyes slid shut, and if it weren't for his enhanced senses he would’ve missed the sharp breath that you sucked in. His eyes flicked down to your arm. Your arm tensed creating an unnatural shift of bone underneath the skin. He just stared dumbly at it. “Why does everyone keep asking me that today?” Playful tone and a clever deflection once again. Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed the issue. You clearly were hiding it from everyone, which made him irrationally angry. What you said next worried him. With a finger pressed to his forehead your whispered words cut sharply into him, “You’re too observant.” Your eyes cold and hardened, but he swears there was an underlying fear beneath the icy exterior and then he realized maybe you two weren’t that different.

You built this solid wall around yourself to keep everyone a safe distance around you never being aloud to cross the distance. You can’t get hurt if you never let anyone in but in reality you just cage yourself in. He did the same, only he used his broody nature and impassive strength. Until the plate fell he was able to do a job with no concern for the client, keeping a barrier between their problems and his feelings, now with this journey being so entwined with Sephiroth it was hard not care. Maybe that’s why he feels drawn to you. For the first time he wants be the one to reinforce your strengths. He was determined to reach you even if he had to break the damn doors down himself.

His hand threaded behind his neck up to scratch at his nape as he went re-climbed the steps to the bar taking two stairs at a time. He stalled at the top as a familiar remedy. The gentle and harmonious hum echoed through the open frame leading into the unfinished bar.

Melancholy and nostalgia filled him and constricted his chest like a vice. He ambled slowly to the wooden framing and settled himself against the smooth stone to watch the scene unfolding before him. He had expected Tifa to be the one playing this old song. Instead there you were. Sat straight on the black wooden bench your fingers gracefully pressing against the old piano keys creating the melody song he heard growing up in Nibelheim. The song took him back to his childhood bedroom listening intently to the girl, Tifa, next door practicing it at all hours of the day. You were the only one consuming his thoughts now, and what a vision you were. Your e/c irises were hidden behind closed eyelids. The smooth planes of your face looked relaxed, but dejected. His awestruck stare followed down the slope of your perfect button nose, and over the bow shape lines of your down-turned lips The low lighting from the lights strung above the both of your heads emphasized the highlight in your hair swayed back and forth around your bare shoulders in time with the glide of your fingers as you recalled each note meticulously from memory.

He glanced quickly around the bar finding nothing but empty seats around round tables. His legs brought him closer to you out of their own volition as if the very thought of you beckoned him closer. “Where’d you learn that?”

Your fingers faltered on the keys, and your body lurched in fear, a tiny squeak escaping your lips. Cute. “Son of a-” You took in a deep breath to calm yourself before the full weight of your glare was on him. “You’re the only one that has ever snuck up on me! Stop it!”

He laughed, the noise sounding odd to his own ears. “Sorry.” He scratched at his nape once again as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He propped Hardedge against the wall then closed the distance between you. He felt silly for lowering himself onto the narrow bench so slowly but he wanted to make sure you had no objections. The bench had just enough room to sit comfortably apart, but with a newfound sense of courage he slid closer to you, feigning ignorance to the available space, so the sides of your arms rest against one another. His pulse pounded in his ears and his hands grew clammy as they rested on his knees.

“I was at a ranch near Nibelheim. The owner’s daughter taught me the song.” You looked up at him with curious orbs. “You grew up in Nibelheim, right?” He nodded his head. “Tifa, too?”

His throat clenched at your inquiry. Nibelheim wasn’t something he usually talked about, the mere memories enough to dredge up a rapid river of intense emotions. Fear, hatred, devastation. He often found it to be a topic of great discomfort. It could've been the song that eased the wounds or possibly all the discussion of his mother this morning, but for the first time in a long time he wasn’t so hesitant to talk about home. “Yeah.”

You looked back down at your fingers that hovered over the keys. “You guys must’ve been close.” You mumbled.

He shrugged, “Not really.” He was hyper focused on the way your arm brushed against his as he readjusted. “I was… I’ve always been… like this.” Awkward, and unsociable. He wanted to say.

He hadn’t realized the difference in your height before now as he towered a head and half above you. His soft gaze falling down to your lips. It was enough that he’d have to lean down to—

“But, you guys seem really close now.” You peered back up at him through the loose strands of hair framing your face. He quickly turned his head to stare at the wall to hide the heat that was spreading under his skin.

“I guess…” His relationship with Tifa seemed to be rocky as of late, but he couldn’t deny she was important to him. “She’s like a sister.” His answered lamely as he turned his attention to the keys before him.

“Really?” The inclination of your voice pulled his eyes back to your own, the warm hue soothing the wave of anxious jitters he was experiencing. “I would’ve pegged you guys to be more than that.” You bumped the ball of your shoulder against his bicep.

“What? It’s not like that.” He quickly huffed. His reaction pulled another musical laugh from you, something he was slowly becoming addicted to he feared.

“If you say so.” You teased.

The tension in your body practically dissolved with his answer, and the sparkle in your eyes that he’d grown accustom to returned casting the once dull and emptiness back to the recesses from which they came. He relaxed and exhaled the bout of nerves that plagued him before he settled into the comfortable silence. You returned to playing the Nibelheim lullaby, the warmth of your arm rubbing against his taking precedence at the fore front of his mind, when he remembered why he was worried about you in the first place. He observed your facial expression at first looking for any signs of discomfort and when he saw none he moved his attention to the offending appendage. His frown deepened as he looked for any unnatural shift beneath your skin. It appeared to be fine. There was no bruising or swelling. Your movement was clean and precise. You must have snuck off to mend it in privacy, but even with healing materia it must be sore. “How’s your arm?”

Your e/c orbs narrowed slightly, your nostrils flaring as you exhaled sharply. He was actually beginning to like this side of you. You’ve been level headed and witty the entire time, along with being a good conversationalist and polite when speaking to anyone. So to see your temper flare and an attitude when this didn’t go your way was almost refreshing to him. Perhaps something was fundamentally wrong with him, or maybe a part of him took pleasure that he was the only one to see it. “Nothing materia couldn’t fix.”

He itched to press the issue further to see more of your fiery personality, but her erred on the side of caution. Your answer was satisfactory so he supposed he could drop it. He peeled his eyes from you, now slightly embarrassed he’d been staring for so long, and looked down to the keys on the old instrument. He let his own fingers slide over the naturals and pressing onto each note softly creating a different song he’d learned in Midgar. Your fingers slide off and landed in your lap. He could feel the way you gawked at him the weight of it nearly burning holes into the side of his head. He felt heat rush to the tips of his ears as you propped yourself up on an elbow to watch him.

“So Mr. Soldier, when on Gaia did you have the time to learn piano? Or was that part of your training too?”

He realized he never actually told anyone this, and the thought of sharing it with you made him feel exposed. Yet he wanted to share this piece of himself with you. “I got homesick… when i enlisted. I had a lot of time on my hands before I climbed the ranks.” Your bought your hands back to the ivory notes pressing down on a few to play a complementary part the song. The two of you sat together of upwards of an hour side by side playing a few different melodies you’d learned over the course of your travels.

You movements stilled and fingers hovered above the keyboard. You turned around, your back now facing the piano, and looked above to the sky through the holes in the ceiling. He too let the music die there and angled towards you. As you admired the sky he shamelessly stared at you. His chest tightening as his eyes trailed over the slope of your nose and glazing over the smooth strands of hair illuminated by the twinkling lights and rays of moonlight.

Your irises moved down to meet his own as a smile graced your lips. “Thank you.” You voice sounding smaller in comparison under the stars. “I feel lighter now.” His brows scrunched minutely as he briefly pondered your words. He didn’t have to chance to linger on the statement, though, your soft warm hand inched towards his. You gently laced your fingers through his and giving his a small squeeze before pulling away and standing up. With one more pat to his shoulder you walked towards the entrance. “Good night, soldier boy.”

He gazed up and the night sky hoping to find what you found so intoxicated by the moon, and he caught himself smiling. He didn’t know if your growing relationship was romantic or not, but he decided that he wasn’t going to shy away from it like he did with almost everyone. No, if he wanted to be the air under your wings then he too would bare his soul to you.

[jedidryad]

WIP: Absolutely none of this had been a good idea...

The climactic battle sequence in Champions of the Force involves an abundance of superweapons including a reappearance of The Death Star (I guess The Force Awakens had to get that plot point from somewhere). Mara, Han, and Lando watch in horror as it destroys the Garrison Moon over Kessel. While Han and Lando are experts, this is the first time Mara has witnessed a Death Star in action, and it's tough on her. When they decide they need to fly inside it to destroy it, all does not go as planned...

“She’ll hold together.” Solo insisted although it sounded more like an affirmation than a statement of fact. He agreed he needed to check on the engine and do repairs but we couldn’t do that while actively flying.

“We’re going to have to settle in for the ride.”

“Settle in?” Settle in how, where? Being buried in the middle of this Imperial nightmare was getting to me. I should have done something years ago to stop this thing. What, I didn’t know, but I hadn’t imagined it could do this.

“Don’t get all bent out of shape" Solo continued, misinterpreting my shock as disapproval. He demonstrated his landing claw then and attached us to one of the stable girders so he could power down and go investigate the damage.

Frozen in place, I  gazed down at the power core below us. Everything about it suited Palpatine: ultimate destruction at a whim, the mere tug of a lever.

I smiled tightly. At least this power core had killed him in the end, with some help from his “loyal” enforcer. I’d been no help.

I took a deep breath trying to find my own stability again. Like this ship to the girder, I needed to anchor myself to something. No, I hadn’t prevented the existence of the Death Star, but we could do something about this one now. So long as I held myself together enough to come up with an idea.

Solo seemed far more sanguine about the whole thing than I was.

“We’re secure here for now,” he informed me. He eyed me closely as he headed for the rear, “but if  they plan to go back inside the black hole cluster, we could be in for one wild ride.”

He wasn’t kidding. We were bumped and jostled so much, it made it hard to do the diagnostics and repairs Solo needed the time to do. 

Absolutely none of this had been a good idea. And I had no better ones, just worse ones. I stared out at the reactor core, glowing like Palpatine’s evil heart, infinitely worse ones.

Solo’s news was also bad. The hyperdrive was a mess and the damage to the auxiliary thrusters meant our maneuverability had taken a hit. Even if we did blow the core, we wouldn’t be able to get away from it fast enough or be able to make it back through the Maw.

“Not to mention we don’t know the way out.” I glanced around at the various, unsound passageways around us. Panels had caved in and girders had collapsed with every rattle this half built mess had made, “My Jedi instincts aren’t strong enough for a job like that.” 

And with the damage Solo was talking about, we would need a straight run at it to make it out in time.

“We’ve got to do something.” Calrissian insisted, “If the Death Star’s come back to the Maw installation, it’s bound to be up to no good.”

And that’s when Solo dropped the information that Chewbacca was in the Maw with a Republic occupation team. Instinctively I sent my Force sense out to scan the area and picked up on the presence of not just the Wookie, but also Luke Skywalker. As his presence brushed against mine, I could sense a wave of relief that we were alright.

For now.

His sense seemed to shimmer in agreement.

Great, everyone was in danger and we had no time.

“So it’s obvious,” I said, getting to my feet and choosing the worst of the terrible ideas  that had come to mind in the last few  hours, “we’ve got to deactivate that super laser, as long as we’re here.”

“But the hyperdrive engines - “

I cut Solo off and announced my plan to buy him time by using our portable detonators to destroy the power core. We could place them strategically and then use the timer settings to give us a chance to get away. Classic sabotage. 

It was unbelievably risky and entirely unlikely to work, but we were running out of options.

Calrissian’s jaw hit the floor as I volunteered the two of us to don enviro suits and set the charges while Solo fixed his ship.

“You want me –?”

I swayed my hips just a bit and let my eyes flash as I asked him if he had any better ideas.

He looked me up and down and I suppressed the desire to tug my neckline up again as  he grinned suggestively.

“It would be my honor to escort you.”

[yanpoetry]

Chapter 4: Part 7: Extra Gear! (Wish List time! :O )

When it comes to maintaining control over your Darling, adding extra layers of restriction through specialized gear serves both to limit their movements and enhance your dominance over them. These tools are not just about physical confinement; they also send a clear psychological message that there are no areas of escape, no moments of privacy, and no way to reclaim autonomy. The extra gear you use should always complement the environment you’ve created and reinforce the idea that the Darling is completely under your control.

1. Roof Pulley System: Limiting Movement and Psychological Impact

The installation of a roof pulley system is an innovative way to restrict the Darling's movement and manipulate their position. The system is designed to keep the Darling tethered within a limited area, ensuring that they can only go where the ropes and pulleys allow them. The rope should be long enough to prevent the Darling from lying on the ground, thereby limiting their ability to cower in fear, hide, or try to remain unnoticed.

Purpose: The primary goal of the pulley system is to prevent the Darling from finding refuge on the floor, where they might attempt to hide, shield themselves from your gaze, or escape from physical control. The system keeps them upright, continually exposed to your presence, and psychologically unsettled.

Practical Impact: The rope’s length should be such that it leaves the Darling standing or forced to kneel, but never in a comfortable, hidden position. This forces the Darling to remain alert and present at all times, unable to escape or avoid your attention.

Psychological Effect: The constant tension from being suspended, even in a limited space, contributes to a feeling of helplessness. They know they cannot leave the area without your intervention, and each movement is dictated by your rules, keeping them in a state of vulnerability.

Added Control: If the Darling attempts to drop items, especially potential escape tools, the pulley system can ensure they’re immediately retrieved by you. By keeping them in a place where you control their positioning, you maintain control over their environment and the objects they can access, rendering them even more dependent on you.

2. Ankle and Wrist Weights: Slowing Them Down and Enhancing Subjugation

Ankle and wrist weights are designed not as exercise equipment, but as a means of controlling your Darling’s movements. These weights, heavy enough to limit speed and agility but not light enough to be ignored, serve as both a physical and psychological barrier.

Purpose: The weights are not intended for fitness; they are meant to slow the Darling down, making it harder for them to move freely. With these weights, even the simplest actions become a chore, wearing down their will to resist or escape. Walking, standing, or attempting to flee becomes a constant struggle, keeping them in a submissive state.

Practical Impact: The weight of the ankle and wrist restraints causes discomfort, making every movement feel labored. The Darling may grow exhausted more quickly and will find it difficult to escape or perform any sudden movements. The presence of these weights is a constant reminder of their helplessness and dependence on you.

Psychological Effect: These restraints signal that you have taken extra measures to ensure their obedience. The Darling will feel the weight of your control not only on their body but on their mind as well, reinforcing the notion that they cannot act without your permission. The weight also subtly impacts their emotional state, as the burden of the gear acts as an anchor to their feelings of subjugation.

3. Additional Gear: Reinforcing Control Through Creative Restraint

While the roof pulley system and ankle/wrist weights are foundational, there are countless other forms of extra gear that can be used to further reinforce your dominance. Every piece of equipment should be used to make the Darling more dependent on you, unable to escape or evade your control.

Gag or Muzzle: A gag can prevent the Darling from speaking or calling for help. It isolates their ability to communicate, making them more reliant on your actions to fulfill their needs. The gag could be designed to be uncomfortable, a physical reminder of their silence and submission.

Blindfold or Hood: A blindfold or hood limits the Darling’s ability to see, disorienting them and heightening their vulnerability. By depriving them of sight, you can make them feel disoriented and entirely reliant on you for guidance, removing any sense of control over their environment.

Collar or Leash: A collar or leash is a clear symbol of ownership. It allows you to physically guide the Darling where you want them to go and reinforces the idea that their movements are entirely dictated by you. A collar can also serve as a constant reminder of their submission, something they wear as a mark of your control.

Leg Restraints: If the Darling attempts to move too freely, leg restraints like chains or cuffs can further limit their ability to walk, kneel, or move effectively. This further slows them down and hinders any potential for physical resistance, making them feel trapped in place.

Chastity Devices: If emotional control and complete dependence are your end goals, a chastity device can be used to prevent the Darling from engaging in any form of self-pleasure or even the illusion of autonomy. The device serves as another layer of control over the Darling’s physical and emotional state, reinforcing the idea that every aspect of their being belongs to you.

4. Combining Gear for Maximum Control

The real power of these extra gears comes when they are used together. Each piece of equipment serves a different purpose, but when combined, they work synergistically to ensure the Darling is fully subdued—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The Pulley System and Weights: Together, the pulley system and the weights ensure that the Darling remains constantly restrained. The pulley system forces them into a position where they cannot hide, while the ankle and wrist weights slow them down, making even the act of standing or moving difficult.

Gag and Collar: These tools can be used in conjunction to prevent verbal disobedience and remind the Darling that their ability to speak or express themselves is limited. The collar is a constant reminder of ownership, while the gag keeps them in a state of helplessness.

Blindfold and Leg Restraints: When combined with other restraints, a blindfold or hood can disorient the Darling, making it even harder for them to escape or plan any sort of rebellion. With their vision restricted and their movement hindered, they become more isolated from the world around them, further dependent on you for direction.

5. Psychological Reinforcement

Each piece of gear you choose serves a dual purpose: they are tools for physical confinement, but they are also psychological devices. They remind the Darling, at every moment, of their submission and of your absolute control. They cannot move without you, they cannot think for themselves, and every aspect of their life is under your domain.

By using extra gear, you ensure that the Darling remains in a constant state of dependency and obedience. Whether through physical restraint or psychological dominance, the Darling’s world is shaped entirely by the boundaries you set. They may resist, but in the end, it is you who holds the power to define their reality.

[tommyofastora]

Last project of the year, deservingly, is my black 2013 Diamondback Overdrive 1 "Pikachu"

Purchased in October 2023 for $400 from Marketplace as my first adult bike.

When I started to really enjoy it, I thought I'd get a nice service to get it running like new. I was a total noob at the time and a greedy LBS upsold me to a new drivetrain since I "might as well replace the whole thing"

The drivetrain they installed was so horrendous, it had poor chainline in every gear, constantly dropped chain, chain binding up the backside of the front ring, poor shifting, rubbing on everything. When I took it apart it had no grease!

Since I didn't know any better I tried to enjoy the bike for another few months before the chain snapped in the middle from all the grinding.

That was kind of a last straw moment for me. After a little freehub research I ended up with an affordable 11spd M5100 groupset plus a larger 36T front

Also got a Suntour air fork since it was a blowout

Then I figured, screw it, to hell with my boat anchors. Got these Mavic En427s for a deal and converted to tubeless with some Stan's & Muc valves

Took it out for a ride right away!

Hilariously, the crap chain the groupset came with broke on the first ride, probably due to my install (no masterlink)

So I got this KMC11 extra light. And boy is it LIGHT!

In conclusion, the bike is absolutely transformed. Total weight savings of 5lbs!! Everything feels massively improved. The weight, balance, ride comfort, rolling resistance, shifting, crazy 72 point freehub.

They always tell you never to upgrade a cheap bike, but I'm in love with this geometry and all in all, I'm so happy!

[figjelly]

Book Review: We Will Devour the Night by Camilla Andrew

Full disclosure: I received an eARC of this book from the author and this represents my honest opinion. Spoilers for When the Stars Alight are present.

I started We Will Devour the Night while moving across the continental United States. Which sounds crazy (spoilers: it was) but I REALLY wanted to dive back into the world Camilla Andrew created. Set twenty years after When the Stars Alight, the book hits the ground running. So, if you’ve not read the first book yet, I highly recommend doing so before starting We Will Devour the Night. Bonus points if you get to Andrew’s The Sanguine Sorceress.

At the end of When the Stars Alight, a lot had happened. Laila had rejected Darius. Darius had killed his brother. Lyra’s uncle/Laila’s father figure had to be sacrificed to permanently banish Darius’s father. Amira dropped the in-world inequivalent of nuclear bombs on Darius’s home country. Dr. Emika Hariken (minor character, love of my life), uses her chimera monster powers to eat a whole bunch of people. It isn’t important to know that last part; I just really love Dr. Hariken, no matter how many legs she has and I want everyone to know that. (She doesn’t even show up in this book!)

Anyway, that’s where we’ve left off. We find Laila Rose catching stars on the beach and being told her ex-lover has dropped in for a visit (awkward). It’s been twenty years since Mortos opened up to the wider world and Laila’s mom, Amira, is concerned that chaos magic and drugs (we’ll just call it drugs) are being smuggled through to Soleterea. While Darius spends the book trying to suss out who and how stuff is being smuggled, Amira gently “suggests” to Laila that she should go forth and be a good little politician. The Rose legacy is in danger. Without Laila, it dies off and Amira absolutely wants to control control control. Off Laila goes to Mortos because, oof, a major famine is going on. Wonder what caused that shrug emoji and question mark. Absolutely, she and Darius are going to cross paths and that’s dangerous for two-lovers who are star-crossed. We get some new characters who highlight the other side of this world. Mortals get more representation. As a mortal myself, I call that a diversity win. It’s Andrew’s second installment in her Essence of the Equinox trilogy so while we still get richly woven descriptions, there are new things to admire and reflect on. In addition to the familiar environments of Soleterea and Mortos, a rainforest is introduced as an important setting. Elina Panja is our anchor here. We get to experience the rainforest not only as a humid, oppressive sprawl of crushing green but also through her eyes. Elina’s rainforest breathes and embraces her as she acknowledges the power it holds. It reminds me very much of my favorite scene in When the Stars Alight where Lyra’s home in the forest wasn’t just a forest but a part of Lyra. Andrew effortlessly continues to spread a well-constructed quilt over the story and transforms a book into a world. Despite this, I am finding myself wishing we had more orientation. This world is becoming larger and the lack of names for geography, terrain, and water features does take me out of the environment once in a while. For a lot of readers, I imagine that this won’t hinder the overall enjoyment. It’s just a little thing I’ve begun to notice in my own experience. Like the environments, the characters continue to be delightfully constructed. We get new faces but Elina Panja is an easy favorite. She loves her family, is strongly rooted in her goals and priorities, and is effortlessly kind (and this kindness persists even when she is setting boundaries, which I adore). A familiar face from book one returns and Andrew keeps you guessing as to what the actual heck has happened (spoilers: you won’t find out until the very end and oh gosh I internally screamed at the revelation). Since this is the second book in a trilogy, Andrew has the hard work of trying to pick up the momentum of book one while setting up book three. For the most part, it’s successful. There is no shortage of tantalizing threads but I am a little concerned that we’re going to get eleventh hour decisions from Laila (and maybe others but Laila is my primary concern) that don’t match up with who we’ve gotten to know. But Andrew has earned more than enough good will from me to dive in, trusting and exciting

So, the big question: should you read Camilla Andrew’s We Will Devour the Night? Yeah. Especially if you read the first book and enjoyed it. After finishing it, I immediately needed to consume everything else the Essence of the Equinox series had to offer. I couldn’t get enough. I volunteered to read and give a review of this book because I wanted to read more as soon as possible. When the Stars Alight prepared the meal and set the table. We Will Devour the Night serves an extravagant feast.

Come hungry.

Stars: 4/5

TLDR: Messy politics, messy families, and messy love but Andrew balances the hell out of it all while building up to a heart-wrenching finale for everyone.

Click here to order your copy!

[beewolfwrites]

An Iron Box - Solace

Another instalment of An Iron Box! I admit, the bed scene in this is one of my favourite moments, even if it’s so small. 

If you notice any errors, please do let me know! I’ve proofed this after drinking too many glasses of wine so words are no longer my forte. 

AO3 link is here.

_______________________________________________________

It was uncanny that they could sleep so soundly. 

Although I was lying in my bed upstairs in Kuina’s uncle’s furniture store, I could still hear the crackle of the flames in my ears. The Beach had been the one place I wanted to break away from, but seeing it almost burned to the ground was disturbing, even to me. 

We had lit the store with candles and lanterns, however this floor had remained neglected. And now, as I stared up at the wooden slant of the ceiling, I felt that familiar pressure weighted like an anchor on my chest. The blue of night had poured through the window and curled around the room, drenching everything in a wash of moonlight. The bed was cold, the pillow stiff. The other two were fast asleep, their steady breathing rising and falling like tides. 

My eyes traced the eyes of the wooden beams above, a distraction from the conversation I had overheard earlier in the evening, as I had been standing outside our “living room”. 

‘And what about you and Chishiya, hm? I’m guessing you two are besties now.’ 

‘Something like that, I suppose.’ 

What were we? Certainly not something as crass as “besties”, or whatever Kuina had called it. I wasn’t in love with her. No. I would know if that was the case, surely. But how could I define it? This fine string that connected us. 

She was the only thing warm in this world - like a candle in a window, perhaps. I couldn’t find the right words for it, aside from the words she had shared with me long ago. A train whistle. Yes, hers was the only voice that tore through the darkness, and whatever these feelings were, I could neither explain nor control them. All I knew was that she needed to be closer. I needed her to ease this weight.  

A soft gasp interrupted the night. There was a creak, as (name) tossed and turned in the bed beside mine. With a barely audible cry, her eyes shot open, staring fixedly at something on the ceiling which I couldn’t see. She blinked several times until her face slowly relaxed. 

Nightmares?

I should have known. She was naive and emotional, and these games would eventually come back to haunt her. Rolling over, she smushed her face into her pillow in an obvious attempt at avoiding looking at the ceiling. 

Then her eyes lifted, and she looked at me.

Her hair was a mess, and her pillow had left an imprint against her cheek. But there was a softness in her gaze. A want. I knew exactly what she was going to do when she pulled back her sheets, dropping her feet lightly on the floorboards. I felt a cold shiver of air as she slipped under my covers and crawled into the space beside me. 

Although she had left plenty of room between us, I could feel her calm presence just out of reach. She didn’t speak, but it was obvious what she wanted from me. It was what she had always wanted. 

Solace. 

A shiver caressed the back of my neck as her warm fingertips brushed my open palm. Testing the waters, I allowed my fingers to lightly touch hers. 

What am I even doing… 

I must have remained like that for at least half an hour, quietly watching her face as she drifted off into a slumber. How selfish of her. Here she was, using my presence to soothe her own nightmares, while I lay awake unable to relax now that she was beside me, so close but still so far away. 

I couldn’t have slept any worse. Throughout the night, she eventually moved, rolling over until her back was facing me. I took the opportunity to break away, crawling back to the familiarity of my own space. However, even though I slept lightly, I was still highly aware of her body curled up less than three feet away. 

And when the dawn finally rose over the city, I realised that there was no point remaining in this bed any longer. She had claimed it for herself, stretched out across the mattress with her face buried into my pillow. She could have it for now. I had more pressing matters to deal with. 

I extracted myself from the bed, careful not to rouse her. Judging from the empty bed and the faint shuffling downstairs, Kuina must have woken up in the early hours of the morning after I had drifted off. Knowing her, she would quiz me on this… this sleeping arrangement the moment I went downstairs. 

Shuffling into the store bathroom, I discovered a bottle of water that Kuina had placed by the sink the night before. Whilst we lacked bare essentials like toothpaste and soap, I was still able to wash my face. I was covered in soot and my hair smelled like a bonfire, but there was little I could do about it without water. Nor could I change into clean clothes. Most of my existing clothes had burned, my belongings along with them. 

But not everything. 

The scrap of paper that I had found on the tagger’s body. 

I had almost forgotten about it, but luckily I had kept it safe the pocket of my shorts ever since the Tag game. I hadn’t dared to leave in my room at the Beach just in case it fell into the wrong hands. And now, reaching into my pocket and unfolding the corners, I held up the paper up to the bathroom mirror, staring into the entanglement of lines and seeing my own reflection through that mysterious pinprick right in the centre. 

A map. 

That was the only possibility. But a map of what? Although it had hardy been a priority over the last few weeks, I had been mulling it over in the back of my mind. I had a theory or two, but nothing conclusive…yet. 

As I went downstairs, I bumped straight into Kuina, who had been arranging the furniture into a more homely structure and tearing off the price tags. 

‘Oh my god, you’re awake!’ She set down the dining chair she was holding and gripped my shoulders, eyes wide. ‘You have to tell me what happened! When I woke up you two were like a burrito. It was so cute, I only wish I had my phone so I could have taken a picture.’

‘Nothing happened.’  

‘Are you sure about that? Because it looked kind of like you were cuddling.’ 

‘Nothing happened,’ I repeated firmly, shaking out of her firm grip and walking over to the store entrance. 

She stood there, puzzled for a moment. Then she followed after me. ‘Wait, where are you going now? I didn’t mean to upset you, though you were really cute.’ 

The thought of being “cute” was abhorrent to me. I shut down the idea immediately. ‘There’s something I want to check,’ I told her, pulling my hood over my head. ‘I’ll be back soon.’ 

Before she could protest, I left the furniture store quietly and entered into the desolate concrete of Tokyo in search of the nearest subway station. The air still held a crisp chill, but the dawn spilled out onto the cracks and crevices of the streets. It had been a while since I was able to freely explore the city without having a group of crazed gunmen running around after me. 

It took a little searching, but I finally came across the familiar grimy steps of a subway station. The entrance descended into pitch blackness, but luckily there was no need to bother venturing inside. What I required was displayed right here in front of me on the information board; a large map of Tokyo’s main subway lines, threading and interweaving into a messy knot. Standing several feet back from the map on the board, I held up the square piece of paper. 

So I was right. 

It aligned almost perfectly. 

The hand drawn version was a scribble, of course, but the general shape was the same. The punched hole in the page had to be one of the stations, but given its location on the map, I could narrow down the possibilities quite easily. All that was left was to explore the depths of the subway. 

What will I find there?

What, indeed. 

If it was true that there were dealers to each and every game, then perhaps this would lead me to a base, of sorts. After all, the tagger had to be working for them, no? Or was the tagger a dealer herself, and just like the two girls in the Witch Hunt, she had been forced to participate. Did all dealers have to participate in the games they controlled? That was one possibility. But there were so many more. I had to admit, I was rather looking forward to making my discovery. 

However, now was not the right time. The sun was already high in the sky, and I had someone waiting for me back at my own den. 

_________________________________________________

‘What about when you helped me onto the top floor in the Tag game?’ 

Despite everything that had happened between us, I had forgotten just how annoying she could be. From the moment we set foot inside this mini-mart, she had launched a surprise attack; a barrage of questions to work out exactly when I had stopped manipulating her for my own gain. I could understand why she wanted to know, but if she wasn’t careful, she would only end up hurting herself. 

Hovering at my side, she picked up a can of soup, scanning the picture on the label to translate the flavour. I took it from her and placed it in my own basket. If I allowed her to lug a heavy basket around she would only complain later. 

‘That was only because I thought you’d be useful,’ I said. 

‘And when you pulled me out of the safe room, when the tagger started shooting at us?’ 

I shook my head. Of course not. At the time, I had only intended to keep her around for the sake of either using her as a shield, or as a part of my plan. She followed me into the toiletry aisle, and I picked out a tube of toothpaste while she selected a men’s razor. As she moved to drop it in her basket, I swiped it and put it in my own. 

As if I need you to shop for me. 

She hid her surprise well. ‘Then how about the time when that militant guy with the gun was bothering me at the bar?’ 

‘That wasn’t real either,’ I replied. ‘I saw an opportunity and took it.’ 

She was becoming more and more disheartened by the answers I was giving. What did she expect? If she wanted honesty, I would happily oblige. 

Although, I’m not sure I enjoy being on such thin ice.

When her hand gravitated towards a bar of soap on the top shelf, I intercepted, taking the soap. Perhaps if all I could offer her was an empty basket, it would soften the blows. 

She sighed, thinking harder this time. ‘The deal we made, when you came with me so I could get my own clothes?’ 

I remembered it so clearly, that darkness in Shinjuku Gyoen. Sitting in the roots of the trees with her body pressed against my own, startled by how alive she was, and being faced by the coldness of that vast ocean. Even now, my skin still tingled where I had felt her breath skim the surface of my skin. However, that had nothing to do with the deal we made. 

I shook my head. 

‘And what about Niragi?’ she mumbled. Her fingers tightened around the handle of her basket. ‘When he did what he did? The things you left in my room.’ 

Ah…

Even now, despite how they had healed, I could still envision the faint outline of those bruises. It twisted something in me. A certain revulsion? Perhaps. The mental image of Niragi crouched over her, forcing her down until she cried, touching her under her clothes with his face buried in the junction of her neck… It was distasteful. 

I looked her in the eye, ready with the truth. ‘That was real.’ 

And of course, she blushed with the innocence of a schoolgirl and tried to hide her face in the shelves. Idiot. I had already seen. I placed my hand on her head, laughing lightly at her silly reaction before walking away. 

I wandered around the mini-mart, filling my basket with necessities; first aid supplies, canned foods, dry noodles, toiletries, bottles of water. When our baskets were full - or at least, when mine was - we started off back to our temporary hideout. However, as we walked through Shibuya City, bypassing small stores and eateries, I sensed (name) slowing down. 

She tapped me on the forearm. ‘Hey. Do you mind if I stop by somewhere?’ 

It made no difference to me. ‘Do what you want.’

She didn’t move at first, but swayed her half-empty basket awkwardly. ‘You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want. I’d only be a few minutes.’ 

Unless she was dragging me into a lingerie store or a teddy bear workshop, I really didn’t care where she wanted to go. ‘I’ll come,’ I said. 

With a begrudging huff, she led me down several twists, turns and alleyways until we came across a scruffy apartment block. Inside, there were two broken elevators and a dirty set of stairs. She began to climb, and I followed her up several floors, watching as she peered around at the numbers on the doors. 

Let me guess… you were living here. 

As far as I knew, she had been a tourist. So it begged the question as to what she was doing in a place like this. She shuffled down a narrow hallway before stopping in front of a door. And just when I assumed she would pull out a secret key, she chose instead to surprise me by throwing her side at the door in a pathetic attempt to break it down. 

And naturally, when that didn’t work, she decided to batter it to death with her foot, slamming it into the wood over and over until there was a splintering crack and the door gave way. 

A little dramatic, but I suppose it was necessary. 

Whilst I wasn’t exactly impressed by the state of the apartment, I was curious as to what exactly tied her here. Ducking through the doorway, I entered an open plan living room and kitchen. The place was thick with dust. A visible layer coated the ground and shelves, and motes swirled in the light streaming through the windows. In the middle of the living room, a coffee table had been moved aside and a suitcase lay open on the floor. Several bottles of stagnant water, some half-empty, lay beside it. 

There was nothing especially remarkable about the apartment. In fact, it was uncomfortable and stuffy. But I was intrigued. This was a part of her life in the Borderlands that I had not been a part of. The woman who lived here was a shadow of the woman standing beside me now. She gestured to a half-open door in the corner of the room. Inside was a bathroom. 

‘That was where I was, when it happened.’ She placed her basket on the floor, and I followed suit. ‘It feels strange,’ she added, ‘being here with you. It’s like I’ve come straight back to where I started.’ 

This must have been where she was hiding when we had met, all those weeks ago. ‘It’s been a long time since our first game,’ I agreed quietly. 

She went silent, thinking deeply about something. Perhaps trying to come to a decision. 

‘You know,’ she said at last, ‘if we ever get to leave this place, I think I want to stay in Japan. Maybe I can find you and Kuina in the real world.’

Part of me had expected this, but I couldn’t quite decide whether there would be space for her in that world of mine - in the darkened wallpaper of my life. But as she crouched down by the suitcase, sliding clothes into her basket with a strange determination, the answer came to me strong and clear. 

‘The University of Tokyo Hospital.’ 

She lifted her head. ‘Hm?’ 

‘I’m a medical student,’ I said. ‘I do my clinical rotations at the university hospital.’ 

Her face cracked into a grin. ‘So that’s how you knew how to treat injuries! How come you never said anything before?’ 

Because surely it was obvious. 

‘Because the less people know, the better.’ 

She nodded slowly, mulling it over as she folded a pair of jeans and put them into the basket. ‘What made you want to be a doctor, though? I thought you didn’t care about helping people.’

I don’t. 

Every memory I had of my father - his shoulders sloped over a desk - should have been tinged with bitterness… perhaps some rebellion, or even mixed feelings of love and hatred. But they weren’t. I felt nothing. I couldn’t possibly hate a man who I didn’t truly know. But she didn’t need to know this. And so, I dismissed the matter. 

‘Another time,’ I said. 

‘Fine, fine. I can wait.’ She smiled it off, although a flicker of curiosity remained. 

I joined her in scanning the apartment for goods, however aside from one or two bottled drinks, there wasn’t much that we could find, let alone carry. She emerged from the bathroom with even more toiletries than we needed, but there was nothing more for us here. For either of us. 

Except that curiosity of hers. 

The more I thought about my past, the more I realised she was part of a different world. For her to know how I truly felt, this emptiness festering within every crevice of my life, it was a disturbing thought. 

And as we left the apartment, heading back to where Kuina was waiting for us, I noted the small spring in her step, that happy-go-lucky smile that made her look like a fool. It seemed a shame to mar that smile. 

Just how close can I allow you to get?