#silence series

[0perfectimperfections0]

Silence: Part 5

It wasn't a new nightmare, by any means. The same thing happened at first. He would be in the shed or cleaning, minding his own business when a group of dolls that had existed under his authority would walk up to him. Saunter. That's what they did. Their walks were slow but with purpose. Like they owned the place.

They'd start off with a few names. Insults. Their favorite was cyborg. Like a robot. Prototype would be the next on their list. As if he wasn't reminded of that fact daily.

After they exhausted their list of names, they'd edge closer to him. His blazer was usually left behind at the shed, across the mattress on the floor. That was all that had been left of the splintered bed. A mattress. The frame had splintered away not long after the Uglies had stayed there.

His white dress shirt would be ripped off of him and no sooner were the words 'prototype' and 'ugly' scribbled in black marker across his chest. Another reminder. The ink wouldn't wash off that easily. It would be just another excuse for them to throw him in the wash. They had to keep their martyr clean for tomorrow's assault.

Then the nightmare began to veer away from its original storyline. Lou would slide his shirt back on with shaking hands as the dolls continued to laugh and shove him around. However, the laughter was cut short and it was quickly silent. Lou looked up to see them gone. Everyone gone. The Institute was now barren and empty of any life.

This was new.

What may have been just minutes in reality passed by as hours within the dream. Hours of him walking around in search of anyone. Anyone at all. His footsteps led him to the portal. It still glowed. But no one was walking through or coming out.

Despite having seen nothing, his dream provided him with an answer as if he had witnessed everything unfold. They had left. All the dolls left for the Big World and decided they were never coming back. And while the absence of assault was a relief, there had been at least a little comfort in knowing he was still surrounded by people. Now there was no one.

Lou didn't remember walking up onto the stage, but there he was. His hand was flat against the portal as ripples danced to its circumference. He wasn't able to go through it. He knew that already, but this was a dream. He had at least hoped that in the dream he could fulfill his wishes.

No new dolls came. The old ones never returned--

"Do we have to do this?" Lou muttered, arms wrapped around himself as he sat, cross-legged, on the edge of the sofa.

"You're doing great," Nolan spoke softly, a hand going up and down Lou's back. "Keep going. I'm listening."

Lou wanted to whine. He wanted to pout or cry or all of the above if it meant pulling at Nolan's heartstrings to abandon this whole idea. Still, he let out a slow breath and reigned in his emotions.

The old ones never returned. The dream sped time to go by for years. All Lou had were his thoughts. He watched the robot dog and baby gradually shut down and die right before his eyes. Now he was truly alone.

And then he got desperate.

He rammed himself over and over into the portal. He screamed. Begged. Pleaded. Cried. Anything in hopes that someone could hear him from the other side and it would pull at their heartstrings. That they would have pity on him and come back and give him a hug. He punched at the portal. Kicked. It got to the point where he became his own victim. Arms wrapped around himself, nails digging into his felt. He got lightheaded the more he clawed at himself. He was trying to die. It was the only way out. The baby and dog did it. They were free now.

He wanted to be free, too.

Stuffing circled him. It came out of his arms first in fist-fulls. Then he unbuttoned his shirt shakily to see those words still scribbled on his chest. He dug his nails into the felt and began tearing. Ripping ink-stained felt off of him. He forced himself to stay conscious. The dream did. He was laying on the ground, on his side, struggling to breathe with the gaping hole he'd formed in his torso.

That wasn't how you kill a prototype.

Lou would have stayed conscious, hanging onto life, maybe blacked out into a coma but would nonetheless return to this world. The only way to kill a prototype was to get to the life source.

A weak, pale hand reached up to the chip in his neck. The lack of air was already impairing his vision and his judgment. His judgment had been impaired long before this moment. Nails dug into his neck and he screamed. He cried through it because his body told him to. He smiled on the inside because he wanted to. He would be free. Something cold and metallic reached his fingertips and without another thought, he yanked it out.

"A-And then it ended." Lou finished. He sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve and eyes still trained forward while he hunched forward.

Nolan didn't say anything. His eyes looked over toward the room Lucky was in. The bat sat with his back against the door frame, a wing over his mouth and eyes looking ahead in contemplation over Lou's nightmare.

A hand went to either side of Lou's legs, turning and pulling them onto the sofa until Lou was facing the brunette with red eyes. Nolan didn't say anything as his hands brushed back Lou's drying hair and he looked at the spot on his neck that had been revealed. Lou tensed, trying not to breathe too quickly and give away his panic.

There were scratch marks there, too. The felt was wearing thin and it was obvious Lou had either consciously or unconsciously made an attempt to get it out.

Nolan's phone lit up with a notification. A text from Lucky.

Ask him why he's afraid to show you the marks.

Lou's hair continued to be brushed back by Nolan. It settled some of his nerves. "Why are you afraid to show me these marks?"

"Why would I?" Lou countered, growing defensive out of fear. A fight or flight response.

"So I can help you."

Lou's eyes fluttered and his lip quivered as fresh tears formed. He looked down at his lap. "Your definition of help...and mine...are two different things. You want me to get through this...this--all of this."

"And what's your definition?"

Blue eyes disappeared beneath tightly shut eyelids. Lou's teeth bared in pain and a strangled sob escaped him, tears falling to his lap. "I-I want it to be over."

[saffron-gold-stardust]

The expressions really got under my skin.

[mo-mode]

Okay, but has anyone mentioned yet that Grover is also a vegetarian so when he says “Thanks for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers,” he’s like doubling down on Ares’ shittiness?? Ares even mentions how practically all satyrs are vegetarian or vegan when he said all they do is eat tofu. I bet when Grover said that at the end, he was cursing him out so thoroughly on his head, Ares could hear it. “Thanks for the emotional abuse and cheeseburgers you @&!$ing $!@? and you didn’t even get a %£#!ing salad. Oooo you got a big &$%! plate of fries? Whoop-dee &!#@ing doo!! What kind of #&*!ing god are you? A piss poor @#!$ing !%@$ one. Athena’s owl my €@%#.” That’s probably why Ares didn’t bother with the paper towels.

[platoapproved]

It was an outrageous request.

[rythyme]

is anyone gonna tell f1 tumblr that the first ever live action omegaverse show is a sports drama about gay racecar drivers. because that feels like something they'd want to know.

[divineandmajesticinone]

THAMEPO: HEART THAT SKIPS A BEAT (2024-2025) I EP. 1 & 6

"You know what? That could be interpreted in another way. What is it? Stop feeling for each other and take care of yourself."

[chirp-a-chirp]

[byemambo]

"Don't tell me you're the butcher here, too."

The Heart Killers' Closet | Episode 2

[sherrymagic]

Ciize Rutricha as PANG in the official trailer for PLUTO

[massy2ly]

KANT 🐧🕺🏻*Part 2*

[aprilblossomgirl]

Hey? I thought you were with Jun. I cleared things up with him already, but I’ve got a new problem now. What is it? I don’t have your number. Huh?

ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat | Ep.03

[0perfectimperfections0]

I read your "Silence" fic and it was so good!! Please continue on this fic, I can't wait for what happens next!!

Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned to hours. It was silent the whole time. Nolan simply relaxed his head against the wall, eyes closed and arms around his legs. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence by any means. Lou still stayed in the same position beside him. Arms also around his legs, except his head was buried in his arms.

He was about ready to fall asleep like this. And then tapping aroused him from the drowsiness.

tap-tap-tap-tap...tap-tap

Nolan smiled small, eyes closing again. "Hey," he responded. "Your neck is gonna be sore sitting hunched over like that." He commented off-handedly. After a moment, Lou straightened his back against the wall and copied the position Nolan was sitting in. "Better."

Another half hour went by without any tapping and certainly no talking. That was one thing Lou hadn't done in...gosh, Nolan couldn't remember the last time he'd heard Lou speak. If it weren't for the back-to-back lessons a month ago, he would have forgotten what Lou's voice even sounded like.

Nolan stared ahead at the far wall. "I miss hearing your voice."

Still silence. It was expected. Nolan turned his head against the wall to look at Lou. Blue eyes were glued ahead. Streaks of dirt still stained his face. So did the opaque streaks of tears that could be seen crusted over his cheeks.

Nolan removed one of his arms to tap against the floor.

tap-tap-tap-tap...tap-tap

And for a split second -- even less than half a second -- he saw the faintest smile on Lou's lips. The blond reached a hand down, eyes not looking into the mismatched ones, and repeated the same Morse code. Nolan looked down at Lou's hand as it lay on the floor. There was a precise movement made to place his hand over Lou's.

If Lou had glanced down, Nolan pretended not to notice.

If Lou had turned his hand over to entwine their fingers, Nolan pretended not to notice. Nolan took the pointer finger of his laced hand and tapped that same code against the back of Lou's. The gesture was reciprocated.

tap-tap-tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap

That was a new one. Nolan lowered his brows in confusion but maintained his sights before him. Using his other hand, he pulled out his phone to see if he could translate it. The only problem was that no sound was accompanying the taps since they had been against his hand. Maybe he could reciprocate it against the floor--

"Sorry."

It was faint. Hoarse. Entirely unused and weak. Nolan corrected himself early enough in the midst of whipping his head around at the word. He forced himself to keep looking in the opposite direction. Nolan glanced down at the phone where he had been halfway through typing the cryptic language. S...o...r-- Lou had spoken it aloud for him, anyway.

"It's okay," Nolan whispered. Heterochromatic eyes stayed trained on the opposite corner of the room. Lou's hand tightened. "I'm sorry, too."

"I...hurt you." As scratchy as Lou's voice sounded, the anger could still be heard. "I don't deserve your apology."

Nolan didn't look. For that, Lou was grateful as he kept his own eyes set in front of him. "You'll hurt me more by not accepting it."

"I can't." The voice was strained now from emotion.

"Then I can't accept your apology."

Lou finally closed his eyes. The corner of his lip raised in frustration. "Stupid doll."

"And hard-headed, too. Try me. I won't accept your apology until you accept mine."

"Why can't you hate me like everyone else?" Lou spat out the question. Still, their hands never separated nor made any attempt to.

"Like I said: hard-headed." Lou remained silent. "Maybe it hurts worse seeing you like this than it ever did hearing you call me ugly. Cause when I thought about it, during the Gauntlet, me being ugly didn't change the fact that I was racing for a chance to go to the Big World. Me being ugly didn't take away my chances of having a kid. I literally had nothing to lose, regardless of what you said to me."

Nolan finally turned to look at Lou. He could see the red tinting Lou's eyes and the puffiness beginning to surround them. Lou's nose had turned red, too. Red had to be the one color Nolan didn't think looked good on him. Not in this way. "All you ever had was your words. When you taught, when you spoke to us, when you talked about yourself. You couldn't do anything else but talk. Like a dog with all bark and no bite. And now you've lost your bark, too."

Lou still remained silent. And it honestly ticked Nolan off. He let go of the blond's hand and moved to sit in front of him, legs tucked under him while leaning forward in Lou's face. "Talk." Lou narrowed his eyes. "Do it. Get your bark back, Lou, if that's all you get to have. Insult me. Yell at me. Something."

"Get out."

"Make me," Nolan challenged. "You're not a pathetic doll, Lou. You don't need those stupid robots or the Spy Girls to do the dirty work for you. Instead of telling me what to do, do it yourself. You're tougher than that. I saw it in the Gauntlet. If you won't get your bark back, then bite--"

Lou bared his teeth and pushed his feet out to kick Nolan, but the brunette held him by the shins. "What's the point if I'm gonna be stuck here anyway!? You said it yourself! It doesn't matter what I say or what I do! You get to leave and I can't!"

"And that makes you mad, doesn't it? You feel cheated and robbed." Nolan spurred him on, flipping the doll around so that Nolan held both of Lou's hands, back to his front, as Lou clenched his jaw and slammed his feet against the wall. Pieces of splintered wood fell to the floor with every kick.

"I don't want to be the bad guy!" Lou screamed. His fingers curled around Nolan's hands tightly. "I'm just doing what this stupid factory told me! I'm doing my job! And now I don't even have that! I have nothing! You stupid! Dolls! Ruined! Everything!" He emphasized each word with a powerful kick to the wall.

When it seemed Lou had exhausted all his anger, he was left panting and glaring daggers at the wall. Hands were still held up and back by Nolan. The brunette spoke quietly into Lou's ear. "There's the bark and bite I wanted to see."

Lou swallowed before speaking between shallow breaths. "That's what got me into this mess."

"Cause you bottled it up for so many years. It feels better to let it out. I can't blame you for destroying the portal. It made you feel better, right?" Lou didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. "Kicking the wall made you feel better. I just want you to let it out instead of bottling it up in silence and doing something you'll regret later on when it finally comes out."

Lou swallowed again in between shallow breaths. "Can I do it again?"

"Go for it."

More splinters fell to the floor with another hefty kick to the wall.

"I'm right here to hold you back if you wanna keep doing it. I'm only here to keep your anger concentrated on a better target." There was a second of silence before Lou swung his foot out again to the wall. It was a few minutes later when Nolan finally felt Lou's body relax against him. Blond hair splayed over Nolan's shoulder as Lou leaned his head back to catch his breath. Nolan slowly lowered Lou's arms to his lap, fingers sliding apart. "It's easier to breathe now that you're not holding anything in, I bet." Lou hummed in agreement.

"I don't want you taking your anger out on anything other than this wall, got it?" Nolan spoke softly into his ear again. "And I'm gonna be here, holding you back like I was doing before. Cause I don't wanna see stuffing on this floor again." Lou tensed, breath hitching. Nolan slid one of Lou's sleeves up before he could be stopped. Lines of torn felt were littered across his arm. Stuffing poked out and small bits of fuzz fell down onto the floor. There were nail marks all along the arm where there had been failed attempts at penetrating through the felt. Lou had been successful most of the time.

"This," Nolan held Lou's wrist tightly, "is not okay. I'm gonna stitch this up and it will be the only time I ever have to do that, got it?" Lou never looked at the brunette, but there was a very discreet nod. "You have a lot bottled up. And that's okay. But you will not take it out on yourself. Only this wall. And if that's too hard for you, then I'm tying your hands behind you and you'll wait until I come here to help you let your anger out."

There was a long stretch of silence that Nolan wasn't intending to break. "Okay." Lou finally responded. Nolan assumed he'd be compliant. Instead, Lou lifted his arms up, wrists facing upward, as he squeezed his eyes shut with tears dripping down. "Tie me."

"You really won't stop hurting yourself?" It was asked in a strange mix of a statement and a question.

"No," Lou answered shakily. "I can't."

Nolan stared at that arm. Beaten. Worn. Mauled. Not even from someone else but from its owner. He eased the sleeve back down and let his hands glide the rest of the way until they entwined with Lou's again. "Then I'm not letting you stay here by yourself."

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP4 | Kant's Guilty Conscience

The slow blink - oh fuck, he knows. He definitely knows. Guess I'll go fling myself off a cliff now.

[plush4bunny]

#cold hands with warm hearts

[zoeflake]

From the Sound of Silence project by Martin Rak Photography

[numinoussssss]

haha birb no fly no sing