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mqnasluvr · 4 years ago

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skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

#genshin impact #jean x reader #jean x reader genshin impact #jean x reader genshin #amber x reader #amber x reader genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #albedo x reader #albedo x reader genshin #albedo x reader genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #is it obvious that i have a soft spot for albedo

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glorified-red · 4 years ago

Note

What is the boys go to method of persuasion (read: manipulation) and how would someone persuade them in turn?

This request took wayyyy too many of my brain cells, thanks fish, you’ve killed me

Batboys Method of Persuasion

word count: 1390~

warnings: none

I’ve been wanting to write angst for a few days now and I am so close to diving into Nightmare and never coming back until the whole series is written.

Dick Grayson

Dick uses social influence consciously and subconsciously all the time

Social influence is how we are all wired to believe that if the people we admire are doing something, then that behavior is normal and we should act that way as well

He uses this to his advantage whenever he leads the titans or any of his siblings

A role model of sorts

Dick acts like the perfect vigilante and people subconsciously follow

It started with Jason when he was first learning about Robin, then with Tim, and eventually with Damian

Going out to patrol with Jason and being very careful about what he’s doing in front of him in the off chance that he picks up the habits Dick has

Knowing Tim watches him so closely so Dick might as well take advantage of it to keep his brother safe with protective patrol actions

Seeing Damians adoration for Dick and genuinely trusting what his older brother says, so why not slowly show Damian how to assimilate into the family through his actions

Theres plenty of different ways this affects Dick however

The constant pressure of needing to be perfect and make the right choices

The feeling of everyone and no-one watching him at all times

And even people pleasing tendencies, because what else is left of his self-importance without admiration?

Which is exactly why the easiest way to persuade Dick into doing something, is making sure he likes and trusts you

He couldn't care less about what strangers think of him, but those close to him? Those inside his circle of influence? Dick wants them to love him

Thats exactly why he tries to keep the family together; exactly why he takes every argument with his siblings to heart

The Liking Principle: we are more likely to comply with requests made by people we like

Ask Dick to do something and he will cross a valley for you not only because he loves you, but because he feels like he has to go through with it to make sure you still love him.

Jason Todd

Jason loves to use reciprocity

He exploits it every chance he can when he’s the Red Hood, how else would he have gotten so powerful?

Reciprocity is how we feel obligated to give back to others what we receive from them, especially if there was no cost to begin with

Jason spared plenty of criminals as Hood to use them for deals or favors later, always bringing up the fact that he could've killed them and could kill them now

He’s not afraid to say to those criminals, “Remember when I did this for you? Yea, I want compensation now.”

He doesn't use it much to his family aside from the typical sibling drama of Jason driving to get Tim food and then bringing it up again to get a few pop tarts during patrol

The more the time passes though, the less he can use reciprocity since it'll lose its draw

So he tends to use it within a few days or weeks

Jason keeps tabs, especially when it comes to crime lords or mob bosses

With his family he kinda just remembers? He’ll see a cookie and automatically remember that Dick owes him a pint of ice cream

But reciprocity works both ways

Jason knows this, so if anyone is smart and cunning enough to see through his manipulation and do it back? He’ll comply

The best way to do this is through consistency and commitment

Make Jason commit to his morals or word by bringing up statements he’s made in the past

His word means a lot to him so twisting it or holding him to it will definitely make him cave

Especially if his word was public and other people were there as witness

But be sure to reward him and reciprocate so that he keeps doing it ;)

Tim Drake

Tim’s method of persuasion is so meticulous

Anchoring: the tendency to rely heavily on the information presented first when making a decision

He mostly uses this at work because it works better with numbers

Having a point value presented for the company so he can appease the snarky board of directors

Twisting and manipulating how the stock market values look by prefacing inflation or previous values from months past

Or maybe shifting employee percentages around to make it seem more successful than it really is, not by a lot but enough that Tim can get them off his back

It’s not lying, he’s just presenting the information a different way that makes it seem more pleasant for his side

Since Tim is well aware that information can be tweaked or presented in a bias manner, persuading him can be a bit tricky considering he’d much rather do his own research

The Ellsberg Paradox, a wonderful experiment that showed people tend to lean towards things they know about rather than take a chance on unknown factors

Like the true introvert he is, Tim needs to know every detail before he makes a decision on something instead of going in blind and regretting it

Want to persuade him into going to a party? He needs to know exactly who's going, what to wear, what’s being served, what’s the earliest time he can leave—the list goes on

Trying to persuade him into doing something risky? Give him the details and he’d have no choice but to sigh and go through with it

Damian Wayne

Damian and the hot-hand fallacy

When someone experiences a success, they’re more likely to continue that streak

He uses this to his advantage when it comes to Robin

Showing his father that he is self-sufficient because Damian busted this ring by himself and took down this villain too

Setting down a steady foundation of success to persuade more privilege and independence with the cape on

It’s a way to prove he belongs as well as keep the line of success for Robin going, purifying the colors so to speak

Dami also uses it on his siblings, especially when Dick took Batman’s role

Taking a weak, low point and showcasing the success that was brought to the mantle through him rather than previous Robins

It’s his confidence, his drive, the passion to maintain success lest he break that streak and tarnish his name

He's also used it to present new tactics or weaponry to the family, stating the success rate or how it has been used in the family before

However, with the inflated importance of Robin’s role, it doesn't take much to persuade Damian back into line

That’s where his weakness of persuasion comes in, The Authority Bias

Authority figures are perceived to be correct and have a stronger influence on others because of this

Damian not only grew up being forced to respect Ra’s and Thalia, but its so deep rooted in him that it is very rare for him to speak out against someone of higher authority than him

Hence why he respects Dick so much as Batman, or even Bruce because he is Damians biological father

So the easiest way to persuade Damian into doing something is to assert authority or dominance over him

There has to be merit behind it however, or he will call your bluff and not take you seriously

Bonus

All of the batboys share one method of persuasion that can also work on them: Mimicry

Its natural for us to respond more positively to people who act, look, or sound similar to us

This comes in handy with survivors on patrol, each of the boys mimicking body language or softening their voices to appear less threatening

In Jason’s case, he likes to appear more human by taking off his helmet so his voice doesn't sound as intimidating, it sounds similar and soft

For Tim, he sometimes takes off his cape to seem less like a super hero and more like an ordinary guy, especially for younger kids

In general though, it’s an unspoken bond between them all that they can tell exactly who each brother likes just by watching mimicking body language or adaptation of speech—very easy to tease each other about it

And of course, mimicry works on each of them as well

Makes them all—in their own way—feel less outcasted

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@bungunz

@red-hood-redemption

@missredrobin

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i-am-infinite · 4 years ago

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Guilt (Part 1): The Rescue

(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!Fem!Reader)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Slight Chpt 12 and 13 spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)

Word Count: Slightly over 4K

Warnings: Mentions of blood and needles. Broken glass. Fainting. Blood loss. Canon type violence. Possible bad writing (first fic pls go easy on me). If I’m missing anything please let me know, I’ve never done one of these before.

A/N: This is my first fanfic I’ve written so it might be really bad but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so here it is. I also made up a planet/system and don’t know if star wars has alarm clocks but i wrote it in anyway. I also wrote this in Word first and then realized I couldn’t copy it over so I tried my best to type it over in here.

Normal. That is what was used to describe your life. Nothing out of the ordinary. Life wasn’t boring per se, but it definitely wasn’t compelling enough for your tastes. Studying to be a healer help keep it somewhat interesting but not enough.

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Crust littered eyes creak open as your face unsticks from the textbook scattered across the desk. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Your stiff neck cracks as you finally sit up. Fell asleep studying again. You loved learning about healing, you really did. But the long nights and barely sleeping was enough to make your head explode. Looking over at the clock with bright red numbers blinking at you. 8:15.

8:15! I’m late! You think as you force yourself awake. No not again! Being a student means you need to do hands on hours down at the nearest medcenter. All the late night studying also means that you oversleep most days. Grabbing your work bag filled with a change of clothes, in preparation of these events, you run out the door.

Your feet hit the wet cobble stones as it echos through your little part of the city. Vendors lining up the street ready to start their days. Passing the shop you went to yesterday, your mind too preoccupied to notice that it’s empty today. You know that theres is a faster route to the medcenter, but is it a path you really want to take today? Dark and windy path that you can barely see five feet in front of you on mornings like this. Too foggy and muggy for your liking. You’d rather stick to the main road where there’s people, where if anything were to happen, people would see, they would know. Regardless, it shaves fifteen minutes off your commute. You loathe having to be late for another shift. Making the sharp turn in between tow booths, you pace quickens to get through as quickly as you can. While not having much visibility, you swear you can see a pair of eyes in the dark. Has to just be my imagination, you convince yourself, I just need to keep going. It’ll be fine.

Footsteps echo behind you. Hands grab your shoulders. A scream rises in your throat, but no sound comes out. Everything goes dark when you feel something hit the side of your head.

Sigh. “Grogu get back in your seat.” The little baby waddles down off the controls and into his father’s lap. “Not what I meant,” Din grumbles with a smile hidden under his helmet. He grabs Grogu by his little robe and places him in the seat to his right and tells him to buckle up as a holo comes through from Greef Karga.

“Mando, we’ve just got word that Moff Gideon might have been seen in the Braic system. It looks like they found a substitute for the baby for the time being. I would use this time to go find a hide-out and lay low. He could still come back for the little one. Be well,”

Din goes to start the ship and find coordinates to stay out of trouble for a while when he hears the baby whine. Looking back at his adoptive child, all Din can see is Grogu, then a nameless kid, lying unconscious on a metal table, trapped underneath a contraption. Din starts breathing heavy and feeling sick that he ever gave his son up to those Imps. All he can hear is the beeping of the machine he’s hooked up to. Anger boiling back to the surface as he hears himself yell at the doctor all over again in his memories. No, he tells himself, He’s here with me. He’s fine. He’s safe. He shakes himself out of it and goes to fly the Razor Crest off planet.

Before he even gets off the planet, all Din can think about is that innocent person in his son’s place. They were going to kill Grogu, just for his blood for their experiments. Din can’t bring the kid anywhere near those people, he can’t risk losing his family, not when both of them have formed such attachments to each other. But he can’t stop thinking of this person who is in the that position now. He should’ve made sure Gideon was dead. Because of that now more people are going to get hurt.

Without thinking he turns on his holo already asking, “Where is he taking them?”

Feeling groggy with heavy eyes, you are able to open them just a bit to a blinding light. Reluctantly closing them again, you lift your arm to rub your eyes, but only they don’t move. What? The rest of your senses start coming back and you can feel the cool metal against your back, the same metal wrapped around your wrists and your ankles attached to the table. Finally bracing the light and opening your eyes, lifting your head slightly off the table and oh no the room is spinning now. There is an IV in your arm drawing your blood out into some odd machine, explaining the dizziness. Second time in two days you’ve had to deal with your own blood.

Walking through the shops on your one day off, you pick up a flower hair pin. The glasswork is so intricate and entrancing, you can’t help but turn it over and over in your hands. A pearl bead sitting in the center of iridescent gray and white petals. Placing it back in its place, your had scrapes against another glass design that is not yet finished, slashing open your palm. “Oh, dear let me help you with that,” the lady running the stand says. She looks you with her white hair barely covering her forehead. Tattoos liter her arms. A design peaks your interest as you swear you know but can’t quite place.

“It’s fine, I can take care of it myself,” you state already inspecting your hand. No shards in it so thats good.

“Oh no I insist. It happened at my booth, let me help clean it,” she declares taking your hand in her own. It feels like she squeezes the wound causing you to wince in pain slightly. Knowing she should just be cleaning it and wrapping it, you’re a little confused. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to tend to these sort of things, not wanted to embarrass her at her stand, you keep quiet. She finally gets a clean rag to help blot away at the blood on your hand. You didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it appears she has put it in a bag to the side.

“I don’t have any gauze to help wrap it up,” the stand lady says.

“Oh, don’t worry, I have plenty of my own,” you mention, “It will be fine until I make it back to my place.” Smiling you walk away. Without looking, you can feel her move the piece you cut your hand on into the bag. Must just be because it’s a dangerous piece, you think, not knowing there’s still some of your blood on it too.

Closing your eyes again, you try to wonder why that is so significant to you right now. It was a harmless thing in passing, so why is it at the forefront of your mind? You are strapped to a table and all you can think about is that little cut you got the day prior. If your head didn’t feel like it was a spinner top right now, you would have laughed. Opening your eyes again you see men all in white armor and helmets guarding the door to your room, while a man in a white coat is working on the machine where your IV is attached. I thought the empire was dead. The same symbol that keeps going through your mind is the same one sewn into the man’s white coat. Your breathing gets shallower as you feel the panic rise in your chest. I’m never getting out of here, you realize as your vision becomes black once again.

You’re losing a lot of blood. You know that. You can feel it when noise wakes you up and your eyelids feel like lead. All the noise is muffled, as if you’re underwater. Frankly it feels like you are. It would be so easy to let the waves of darkness just wash over you right now, to let the water take you under. No, you can’t give up the fight and drown into unconsciousness just yet. You force yourself to stay awake.

Barely getting your eyes open, bright red lights flood your vision. You imagine you’re still in bed, or at least asleep at your desk, with the alarm clock blaring, not here with blaster fire. Wait, blaster fire? You attempt to turn your head to the side to look, or to dodge, you aren’t to sure in your current state. The fast action causes you to feel like you’re spinning, or it might be the room, either way your eyes can’t focus on what is going on. Closing your eyes again to make it stop, you hear voices surrounding you. They sound so far away at the moment but finally, after what feels like ages, one voice sounds clearer.

“Please help us. Help us get out of here. Her m-counts aren’t nearly as high as the child’s. They’re demanding more blood. She’s already lost 2 liters, I don’t know how much longer she can last.”

Child? They wanted to do this to a child? You’d choke down a sob if you could just thinking of that poor baby. What did he even say about what-counts? What the hell are those? All these questions are making your head spin more and more. Taking most of your energy to open your eyes, you’re met with a chrome stormtrooper trying to unbind you. Wait no, not a stormtrooper. You’ve heard stories about him and his people. What were they called? For the life of you, you can’t remember right now.

“You’re going to need help getting her out of here,” you realize that the man in the whit coat was the one who spoke before and is now pleading with the metal man, “Please Mandalorian take me with you and I’ll help you get her out of here.”

That’s it. He’s a Mandalorian. He gets your wrists free as the doctor takes the IV out. Pushing off the table to sit up, the world starts spinning again. You don’t even realize you’re about to hit the table again until the Mandalorian grabs your shoulders to keep you semi-upright. You hear some sort of static come from his helmet. “Fine.” he grumbles, “help me get her out of this thing.”

With a flip of a switch, the rest of your body is free from restraints. Eager to get out of there, you swing your legs over the edge of the table, hands finding the arms of the Mandalorian with his hands still on your shoulders. Nauseous and woozy, you try to use the cold metal of his pauldron to ground yourself, to get the room to stop spinning. He can see you start to sway and wraps his arms around your waist as he lowers you from the table. Your feet hit the floor and black dots start to cloud your vision. Blood pounding in your ears trying to tell you to stop and lie back down. Muffled voices come from beside you again as you feel another arm wrap around you from the other side. Your feet dragging against the floor as both men on either side of you go towards the door.

You feel the heavily armored man to your left let go. Eyes that are still fuzzy and unfocused sort of see him peak out the door with his blaster drawn. He leaves the room and all that can be heard is the pew pew pew of blaster fire. Vision start to come back the tiniest bit, you can see him standing in the door way waving his hand as to say Come on.

The three of you hurry as fast as you can down the corridor to get to an exit. Lots of twists and turns, just for you all to come up at a dead end. So much for rescuing, you think to yourself as the doctor still holding you up, leans you up against a pillar as the two of them survey the situation. More of the Mandalorian assessing the situation and the doctor just frantically pacing back and forth.

Sitting down now that the adrenaline of being kidnapped and “rescued” die down, you feel your breathing getting shallower and harder to breath. Eyelids getting heavy again. You just want to lay down and go to sleep, hoping that will fix things. Starting your descent from your upright position to close your eyes, two hands grab your shoulders and jerk you up. It takes a second to realize this modulated voice was talking you you. “Hey, you got to stay with me now,” he pleads, one hand going to the side of your face. Pain spreads across your features due to being struck there earlier, a bruise starting to form in its place. Pulling his hand away like seeing the your face contorted burned him, he continues, “I’m going to get you out of here, you just have to stay awake.” You open your mouth to speak, but your throat feels like it’s filled with sand from Tattooine, so you just weakly nod your head yes. “Okay good,” the shiny man says after letting out a deep breath.

Still holding your shoulders, he helps you stand up and tells the doctor to take you and go further down the hall. Taking something small and circular out of his belt and placing it on the far wall, he speed walks back toward you two. It starts blinking red as his arms come and cage both of you in. Peeking over his shoulder, you see the wall disappear. Well explode, but one second ago it was there and now it’s not. When the explosion first rings in your ears, you reflexively reach out for the Mandalorian’s arm and feel him tense under your touch.

When he deems it safe to move again, letting go of his arm, he hops over the rubble to the outside world, blaster drawn. Looking out you think it looks like a desert, but one you’ve never seen before. You have no idea where you are, even what planet you are on. You eyes go to where the chrome man is stalking towards. It seems he found two speeder bikes that the troopers use, sans the troopers. Your feet hit the gravel and you realize you aren’t wearing shoes anymore. How long was I out? You begin to question when you see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out and scream, “NO!”

You could’ve sworn it was going to hit him. It should’ve hit him. But at the last second it bent and went in another direction. You knew stormtroopers were bad shots, but nothing like that has ever happened. The Mandalorian whips around at your scream and shoots the trooper down. He goes back to what he originally planned to do, but not without turning to you. You see his chest plate heave up and down a few times before turning back around. After a beat, the only sound you can hear is the Mandalorian starting up the speeders and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The doctor helps guide you to the bikes and as you’re about to get on behind him, the Mandalorian picks you up bridal style and sits on his own respective bike. You make a noise of discontent at the sudden action and are then seated in front of him, yet again caged in by his arms with your legs draped over one of his. You can hear him breathing through the modulator as he states, “Just in case you pass out again. Can’t have you falling off the back of the bike.” You go to adjust how you are sitting when he takes off.

Gasping in shock, you hug your arms around his neck with you head in his cowl as you take panicked breaths. His hand touches your back as you hear him shout over the noise of the engines, “Put your legs around me, you’re slipping off.” He holds your waist as you sling your right leg around and hook it with your left one behind his back. Not the position you thought you’d end up in as a blush creeps up on your face, but neither the less here you are. His hand lets go of your waist and back to the handlebars as he steers.

Suddenly getting the feeling like you’re being followed, you say into his neck cowl, “Go left!” You don’t know why, but you just get a gut feeling to go that way. He follows your lead, not without a brief hesitation. The doctor follows on his speeder in the same direction. Finally looking up you see two stormtroopers in the distance. I wish their speeders would just stop or something, you plead with yourself and you think back to what happened with the blaster. Testing the waters, you unhook one of your hands from Mando’s neck and hold it out and... nothing. Okay focus, you close your eyes and picture their speeders stopping, or malfunctioning, or anything at this point.

The sound of a crash comes ringing into your ears. Opening your eyes, you can see the troopers flip over their handlebars as if their engines just died. You slightly chuckle to yourself as your eyelids feel heavy again. You try to get them to stay open, but sleep just feels so much better at the moment. And with that, you’re out like a light.

Din feels you go limp against him. His arm once again going to grab you by your waist to keep you in place. He wills his speeder to go faster, to get back to the Razor Crest sooner as he’s panicking thinking he somehow made the situation worse. He exposed you on the bike by having you sit like this. Your arms, legs, and head were all exposed to possible blaster fire. Have you been hit? He heard a crash but couldn’t look back without moving you more, risking leaving you more unprotected. His blame for himself spirals as his grip on you grows tighter. He can’t explain why he’s so distraught over a stranger, but still every time he blinks, he swears he sees back on that table. The next time he swears he sees his son on that very table again. First he gave the kid up to those people, now he didn’t finish Gideon off and let you, an innocent stranger who he is now clutching onto for dear life, get in the crossfire. Too many people have gotten hurt because of this. Because of him. He needs to make it right.

Finally Din and Dr. Pershing arrive at the Razor Crest where Din is already lowering the hatch and carrying you in. Kicking some crates together, he gently lowers you down onto this makeshift bed. He uses his thermal setting to see your body temperature, to see how you are recovering from the blood loss. He isn’t thrilled to see it still low, you were getting your energy back slowly before, along with more body heat, bit not enough to Din’s liking. Turning his helmet to Pershing, the doctor says, “She’s going to need more blood.” Din, already standing ready to run out and get some, not even knowing where or how to do that, is stopped by Pershing telling him that he’ll go get it, that it would look less suspicious. Agreeing, Din sits by your side while using his comm-link to tell Greef that he could bring Grogu back to the ship. How Din always finds someone to babysit still surprises him.

You wake up with a start. Eyes not yet adjusted to the lights overhead. Looking down you can see an IV in your arm again. Now towards the side, you can see the same doctor from before asleep up against a wall. Please tell me it wasn’t a dream, tears well up in your eyes as you think you’ve made the whole thing up to cope. It wasn’t until you felt your hand come to wipe away your watery eyes that you realized it just might not be a dream. The IV isn’t taking blood this time, it’s giving it.

Finally looking around, you realize you’re on a ship that feels like it’s moving. Confused by this, you try and sit up. Not nearly as dizzy as before, you slowly swing your legs off the wooden crates you’re lying on. Noticing your still barefoot as a chill gets sent up to your spine by the cold metal floor, you grab your IV bag off what appears to be just a hook poorly attached to the ceiling. You venture around the small area of the ship, noticing there isn’t a lot besides these boxes and what appears to be two storage type of units. You don’t even tempt to look in, too intrusive. You do however see a ladder going higher up on the ship. Taking the IV out and ripping a piece of your shirt off to wrap around your arm for pressure, so you can use both hands to climb, you start your ascent up.

Once you finally reach the top, you hear cooing? Didn’t that doctor say something about a child earlier? Looking forward into the cockpit, you see your savior flying while looking to his right at one of the co-pilot chairs. Clearing your throat to get his attention, two little eyes peer at you from the seat. A bright smile appears on this little green things face and you can’t help but stifle a laugh because its ears are the size of his body.

Distracted by this cute baby, you don’t notice the way the Mandalorian swivels his chair to face you. Finally looking at the man who saved you today, your breath hitches. You don’t know how to thank him for what he did, so you sort of just stand and stare for a second. He stands up and lightly grabs your arm with your homemade bandage on it. Tilting his helmet to the side you hear static coming from it. Did he just sigh at you? “You were supposed to keep it in your arm,” he finally states, with a tinge of annoyance.

Eyes not wanting to meet the T of his visor, you direct your gaze to the ground. “ I jus- I-,” you stammer, not able to find the right words. “Thank you.” It comes out more hushed than you’d like, but he still hears you. He just gives you a slight nod before releasing his arm and heading back to his seat. All your muscles turn to stone as you stand there not knowing if you should leave or not, until he cocks his head towards the seat to his left. On shaky legs you find your way to the seat. Before even sitting down fully, the little green child is already trying to get into your lap. Giggling to yourself you let him up onto your lap.

Once you do the strangest thing happens. You can feel what he’s thinking, his emotions, his past. How he was trained with the special abilities, much like the ones you just displayed before. How he was scared and in hiding until the man sitting in front of you found him. How he thinks of him as a father, his dad. Your chest tightens at that one. Still confused as to why the same people who wanted this child, Grogu, for his powers, also wanted you, you pull him to your chest to comfort you both. You finally speak up again and ask, “Did they want me because I might have the same abilities as this one?” You meant it to sound strong, but it just came out sounding weak.

Without looking at you, the Mandalorian replies shortly after a pause, “Yes.” You swore you can see his grip tighten on the ships steering as he says that. Turning to the two of you finally, he says in the sincerest voice you’ve heard out of him, “They wont get to either of you again. I can promise you that.” Your chest swells at this statement and Grogu looks up at you with a smile as if he felt the way your heart fluttered. You wish you were the one wearing the helmet right now because you can feel your cheeks heat up. To ease the situation in the best way you can, awkwardly, you clear your throat before asking, “So where are we headed now?”

Swiveling back in his chair to hit a few buttons, you’re confused not knowing what they are supposed to do until he pulls up a map and points a place out. He tells you that he’s going to drop off Dr. Pershing at one of the squiggles you see and then try and figure it out from there. “So, I guess thats where I get off too?” You meant it to come out more as a statement than a question, but after what you just went through, you’d rather not be left to fend for youself.

“If that’s what you want,” he finally utters after a while. “ But they’re not going to stop coming after you. Either of you. It might be safer for you to stay here with me, us.” The last part comes out so quiet, it’s almost as if he didn’t want you to hear, out of fear of your response.

Trying to not answer too quickly, you take a deep breath and finally say, “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” With a curt nod, he turns back around. Warmth fills your chest yet again at this stranger’s kindness. It’s just because I have the same abilities as his child, you try to convince yourself. But deep down you’re hoping it’s more than that. The child in your lap grips your fingers tightly and coos, as if he’s trying to tell you your hopes might not be too far off.

Oh, it’s going to be an interesting adventure with these two, you smile to yourself.

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kaz11283 · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 5

Characters: Clint, you, Loki

Warnings: this is a SLOW burn, slight angst, fluff at the end, Loki starting shit.

Summary: life has never really bwen this complicated. Or well the life that you think you know has never really been this complicated. Living with the avengers, learning new things, yeah its gonna be a long road but what else do you have to look forward to other than the random runins with the god of mischief.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had arrived at the tower and just as long as your incounter with Loki, you hadnt had much time to think about it though since you were normally nose deep in class work or training with Nat and Clint since Tony had sent you the message "If your gonna be an avenger you have to train like one, training starts at 6." You had left him on read after that, you had never been a morning person and you sure as hell wasnt about to start now.

"Alright y/n, lets try you on the bow today." Clint smiled walking into the arena where most of your training took place.

"After I finish this." You said pointing to your coffee. "I swear, you would think that after saving lives you would want to sleep in." You grumbled.

"Bad guys dont sleep, we dont get to sleep." Clint said wiping down a few of his practice arrows.

"You didnt get back till like 3 this morning. Im really starting to wonder if you sleep at all." You tossed your cup away and got up starting to do your stretches.

"Get over here so I can show you how to hold this thing." He saod holding out the bow.

"I know how to use a bow, I was in archery in high school. Top of my team." You grabbed the bow feeling the cool metal in your hand. His bow was diffrent than what you was use to, as light as air almost were yours had been heavy.

"This bow is probably a little different than what your use to. The metal is vibranium, the strings are made of some type of industrial woven string that Tony invinted in his lab. Might be a littlw hard for you to pull back." He smiled looking at the bow like a child.

"It is very beautiful." You examined it looking down the sights has you pulled the string back easily. "Absolutly magnificent peice of weaponry." You looked over at him and seen that he was staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"No one else has ever been able to draw the string back like that." You let the string gently go back into place amd handed it back to him.

"I told you, I was in archery while I was in high school."

"Theres no way that someone no matter how skilled they are can pull that back."

"Well if your forgetting, apperantly Im not from here either."

"Yup almost forgot, Asguardian. Anyways. You know how to use one of these so lets set up a few targets and get to work. Tony wants to try you out on a few different things, eval you, and see what suits you best. Im already leaning toward you being good at the bow."

After he talked you through some of the basics that you had informed him you knew and he insisted on stating that it was 'mandatory' you were finally able to pick up one of the training bows.

"These bows suck. Stark has all the money in the world and he buys walmart brand bows? If you pull this one back to many times the string will break. Why cant I just use yours?" You roll your eyes looking back at Clint.

"My bow, my baby. If you want ine bad enough you can start off at the bottom and work your way up. You have a card why dont you buy one?" He countered, just then the foor opened drawing your attention.

"Sorry, didnt realize that the area was occupied today, I just wanted to get a few throws in woth the new daggers Stark and Banner decided to enhance for me. Wanted to make sure that they wouldnt bloe up in my face." Loki said walking over to the bay next to you and Clint. You hadnt had a moment alone with the trickster since in the hall weeks ago and now he was here acting as of nothingbhad happened. You looked down at the daggers that he had laid out.

"Wow, those are beautiful." You noticed that not only had he laid down two simple green handeled knives but he had also laid down a set of electric blue ones and a set of gold handle ones engraved with ancient symbols and roses with the stems winding down the hilt. "May I?" You asked leaning down to get a closer look.

"Of course y/n, you are the one that gave me those." He answered casually. Your breathing hitched and you turned to look at him.

"Thats not funny Loki."

"I dont know what your talking about. I was simpl-" he started before you cut him off.

"You know damn good and well what I am talking about. What did you expect? Me to pick it up and everything come barreling back to me? Here I'll do you one even better." You stormed up to the daggers and grabbed one of the gold ones up throwing it at the target on the far side of the room. You had expected it to fall short and clink to the floor but you never hears it fall. When you looked at the target you noticed you had hit the middle.

Clints jaw had dropped as he was looking around the wall to see what you had been yelling about. Loki looked at you with a smug expression. "I assume they must have had knife throwing classes at the school you attended as well."

"Shut up. Clint are we done, I have some studying for class that I really need to do." You looked at clint as he knodded still awestruck. "Thanks, I'll talk with Tony about getting a better bow for me to practice with." You took off toward your room.

Later after you had taken a hot shower and changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt you decided to go to the one place in the tower that you had decided to claim as your own little study corner. It was located on of of the high up floors that happened to be more of an observation deck, you could watch the team leave on missions, see the ocean, and watch some of the most beautiful sun sets that you had seen. You had notice while checking the place out that there was a fairly large window seat that you could spead your work out on as you looked out over the city, this small part of the tower was your little hid away, you hadnt seen any other member of the team up here so you figured when you needed the alone time you could come here. It had seemed to work for the most part until today.

You notice the shadow of the figure standing over you before looking up into the eyes of Lokis confused ones, you had noticed his lips moving before rolling your eyes and taking out your noise canceling ear pods.

"What do you want Loki?" You sighed placing them back into the chsrging dock.

"Well if you hadnt had those things in you would have heard me tell you that I was sorry for earlier." He sassed crossing his arms.

"How did you find me? No one really bothers coming up here." You pulled your legs under your chin and covering you feet with the throw that you had brought up with you this time.

"The AI system has no bounderies when it comes to privacy, it can tell you were anyone is in this god forsaken place." He responded. "May I sit?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll sit anyways." He shrugged.

"Then what is the point in asking?" You leaned forward moving your papers and books out of the way. He reached down and grabbed a few of the papers to help you.

"Your doing a paper on Shakespeare?" He asked as he sat down reading over the page.

"Umm, yeah. Part of my agreement to come here is so that I can finish up my collage classes. Drama and Art Major." He hamded the paper back to you so that you could stick it in your binder. He gave you a look that you were use to getting from him. "Don't say it Loki." You out your hand up to stop him before he could even open his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He held his hands up.

"Hum, interesting. The god of lies actually sucks at lying. I should remember that." You smiled. This was the first time you had actually felt half way confortable around him.

"I could never lie to you." He smiled back. "You have always had a knack for seeing right through me."

"I wish you wouldnt do that." You sighed leaning your heas agints the window behind you.

"Do what exactly?" He askes mirroring your position.

"Where you mention something about my past. Its annoying and it breaks my heart."

"Well Dove, how do you think I feel? The worst part about it for me is that while you remember nothing I am stuck remembering everything. Your past, my past, our past together. It truly is the worst pain that I have ever felt. To have something that you have wanted for so long in front of you and they dont even want you back." He sighed looking out the window.

"Loki," you crossed your legs and placed your elbows on your knees. "I have never said that I didnt want you. I just dont know what is what."

"So you do want me?" He laughted.

"That is not what I meant and you know it." You leanded back again. "Tell me about us. About how you and Thor know me." He eyes lite up.

Chapter 6

Tag list:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years ago

Text

JuJutsu Kaisen school headcanons

“some jjk school headcanons? not with a reader or anything but just how itadori and the other first years are in school?”-anon

This was pretty fun! Each character is pretty short but it still turned out longer than it needed to be oops.

So we all know that theres a proper private school to teach upcoming shamans. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College...thats a long ass name no wonder i didn’t remember it. But in the manga and anime, they dont exactly go into details of what they do for the school(i might be completely wrong just lemme know)

In the yuuta 4 chapter story, we kinda get a glimpse

Gojo is one of the few teachers and he teaches first years in a small classroom. i dont know what exactly he teaches but sometimes they go outside to train and well when yuuta and the others were training i forget if he was actually teaching anything. Like he gave him a sword to help with his powers and gave a brief explanation but thats about it.

Anyways.

Itadori Yuji:

Is late to class for the first couple days since he doesn’t remember the lay out of the campus

Its so huge for so little people

Sometimes he’s late just cause he slept in

doesnt really understand whats going on

He only just recently learned this world existed so of course he’s out of the loop with everything

he probably naps in class alot or spaces out

‘If i were to feed sukuna’s mouth on my hand...where would the food go? What would happen? How deep does it go? What the hell has my body become??’

As his thoughts continue to derail, gojo would call on him and he might yell in response

he often asks megumi or nobara for help but they just dis him or ignore him

He tries to study! He really does! But he gets distracted and loses focus quite easily

during training he gets super excited thinking hes going to unlock abilities

but thats quickly shot down and hes usually just forced to do something really mundane like run laps or jumping jacks

He might get another dummy to help control his cursed energy while gojo does his best to annoy him (honestly it doesnt take much for gojo to be annoying)

believes everything gojo says

The blindfolded teacher definitely uses that to his advantage

“if you lick this rock it might help your overall abilities” “...really?” “are you doubting your sensei?” “is that...mud?” “Its just part of the rock. Besides you ate a rotten old finger for power im sure you can deal with a little bit of dirt”

He got sick for a week

Fushiguro Megumi:

Hes the kid who sits by the window and just stares out of it the whole class

He finds gojo’s teaching style incredibly annoying

Yes he learns stuff but because of the way Gojo teaches it, he ends up doubting all the knowledge he knew before in the process

Probably does well on tests or whatever homework their assigned

This kid probably makes himself a neat little bento for lunch

During lunch Yuji saw it and asked if he could have one next time instead of always buying food

He rejected his request for a while

But eventually he decided ‘why not its not like it would take that much more effort’

Nobara saw and was like “oh so you made one for a dunce like him but not me?”

Queue a large sigh

Within a month or two he makes everybody lunch (gojo included because he got tired of him always coming by and swiping a bit of food from everyone)

During training he pets his animals quite a bit

When gojo demonstrates a new self defense technique, megumi always gets picked to help demonstrate

110% of the time it ends up with his face being smeared into the floor

Wont ever admit it but he kinda enjoys class with yuji and nobara

Kugisaki Nobara:

Pretty short since i don’t quite know her character that well sorry

I feel like shes a mix of passing but also failing idk

Like during some tests she’d pass with flying colors and without a doubt will show off to the boys

But in other things she’d completely flunk

Draws little doodles in the corner of her notes and thinks about her childhood friend

During training she dislikes learning hand to hand combat

Mainly because she knows shes not capable of beating yuji and that ticks her off

So instead she beats him with her rubber mallet when given the chance

When yuji asks her to join him and megumi, she often complains or makes sassy comments but she never really ignores them

If she wanted to she could just hang by her self but she enjoys being with the two

Gojo Satoru:

This guy never shows up on time

Once he almost did so he simply turned around and decided not to show up at all

He doesn’t necessarily dislike teaching, but he finds giving detailed explanations kinda boring

‘I just told you what would happen, so why are you asking for a reasoning of the reaction’

He wants his students to have a fun teenage life so he often cuts class short by an hour or two just to hang out or go out

He explains how to counter certain types of curses or what to do in some scenarios pretty well

Gojo tries to teach regular stuff like math or history but...i dont know actually

Im not sure if he would happily teach it or just give up after a couple problems

I have a feeling he might just randomly give stupid hard problems and laugh as the first years struggle and fail to solve it

If any of his students do well on a test he’ll give them a small treat

And it may be small for him but its probably hella expensive

I mean he literally just wears clothing that is a couple thousand dollars each

His socks are most likely worth more than my house and everything inside it

Theres probably a small rule book of what he’s supposed to say and what hes not supposed to say

So just to piss the old man off he says everything he shouldnt

He encourages stupid behavior and absoluetly loves it when Yuji and Nobara thanks him for getting treats

#jujust kaisen #jjk headcanons #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #gojo satoru #jjk

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troublesometrollhunters · 4 years ago

Text

Dawna's Journey

A/N: Guys this took so long XD. Please give me feedback/comments/reblogs if not on the post than anon. Look I proof read it so much now I'm sick of it lmao. I know theres grammer mistakes but If I didn't post it tonight it was never getting posted. Anyways please enjoy this!!! :D

~~~

Dawn stood at the edge of the kingdom. The night was still as the guards had retired for the evening and she was left alone with her thoughts. Standing at the gate she stared beyond the iron bars into the foggy night where the woods were.

She was steps away from what could be the biggest mistake of her life. By doing this, by going out into the woods to find the cure for one of the dying trolls in the dungeon, she was betraying her families name and their status along with the throne. Her uncle, her mother, her sister, Merlin, Lancelot. All of them would tell her this is wrong. That trolls were the enemy.

Swallowing thickly, hands glowing to illuminate the night she touched the cold stone of the castle's defense wall before brushing her fingers against the iron bars that kept the trolls and fae at bay. Hissing she pulls her hand away, shaking it to make the sting disappear. Frowning as she stares out at the woods they seem to beckon her. Walking away from the gate and along the wall she goes towards a thick patch of ivy. There hidden behind the plants was a small crack. One she found as a child and still used for situations like this.

Slipping into the greenery rough material scrapes against her catching on her clothes but she stays determined scooting through the stone. As Ivy brushes past her face, her boots sink into the soft grass and she edges herself away from the protection of Camelot. Looking back at the castle her hands shook as she stared at her room that overlooked the very land she stood on. She'd wandered the woods many times and explored their wonders but this time was different. This time she wasn't visiting peaceful territory or exploring her magical studies in secret, this time she was going straight to the Gum Gums. She was risking everything and what made her the most nervous about it, was she didn't care. It was the right thing to do. No matter how many people said it was wrong she felt in her heart it wasn't.

Backing away from the wall, away from her home, she realizes this could be the last time she sees Camelot if she fails. Taking it in, etching every small detail into her mind she sighs. Things used to be different. When Arthur had Gwenivere she breathed life into him and the castle. She made people hope and kept the kingdom together as the war against the Gum Gums raged on. But now the kind queen was gone and Dawn felt keeping the peace fell on her. However, as much influence as she had in the kingdom and over her uncle, Arthur never really listened after he lost his wife. He was too lost in his grief to hear reason. He banished most magic and as Dawn felt the cool air ruffle her hair she knew soon she'd be next. She couldn't fix Camelot. Not by herself but she could try and make her uncles wrongs right. Starting with the trolls he'd locked away.

Taking one last look, the moon shines silver light over her kingdom protecting her people inside the wall. Clutching her cloak tightly Dawn closes her eyes and runs into the woods, leaving no trace that she'd ever left. She feels the grass squish beneath her feet and the whistling wind almost knocks off her hood as she runs.

Magically summoning her silver and gold armor the chainmail echoes in the quiet woods. Her uncle had banned magic but that never stopped Dawn. Her sister did parlor tricks for fun but Dawn craved more. It was in these woods she learned the meaning of magic and through Merlin's notes she taught herself the way of the fae world. The elements were her teachers and she hoped they'd give her mercy tonight.

Running faster each step she takes makes a resounding clank that bounces through the trees. Pushing past snagging branches, brambles, and thick underbrush she keeps going only one thing on her mind, getting that troll cure so her friend would survive. What an absurd notion, that she princess of Camelot was friends with a common troll. Smiling as she thought of him she kept pushing on, chest heaving as she thundered through the woods. Stepping over small streams and avoiding roots.

White puffs left her mouth as she pushed on. The cold kept her awake and alert even as her legs burned from running so long. Dawn stops, armor now silent as the night returns to its previous stillness.

Killahead.

The girl swallows nervously and takes a cautious step forward. The bridge was old and full of divine energy, she could feel its power radiating from where she stood. It acted as a divide between the world of trolls and Gum Gums. Gunmar said he owned the whole woods but that was a lie. However, past the bridge there was no doubt that was his land. As she took in deep breaths chest burning she studied Killahead. Cracked stone, worn carvings from centuries ago, and overgrown moss greeted her. A bridge that once ran over a flowing river had been dry longer than Dawn had been alive. She knew this place had power. It held generations of knowledge and stories. It could be the rise or down fall of civilizations.

But unlike the trees and forest Killahead did not talk. It just listened. Cracked stone keeping the secrets of all those that walked past it. Closing her eyes she steps away from the safety of neutral territory and towards the tarnished stone.

Reaching out, her hand tightly clutches the side of the bridge. As she rubs her thumb over the side the stone feels smooth from years of being worn down. Stepping onto the Killahead bridge it's uneven with patches of grass slowly taking over the stone. Dawn feels the slickness of moss and dew under her boots and tightens her grip on the side she's holding as she trudges forward.

The moon shone above her through the leaves and pausing she tilts her head taking it in as darkness was soon to come. Listening closely, closing her eyes to hear the forest around her it was too silent. She realized someone was following her, that the GumGums knew she was here. Refusing to give up just because she felt fear she stood tall as she crossed the bridge. The branches overhead now choked out any light and it was a miracle she could still see as she made it to the end of the bridge. Standing there taking a deep breath her hand grazed the moss that had taken over Killahead. This was her last chance. To turn back and run. To go back to the castle and ignore her uncles troll business. To allow him to continue what he was doing. But... she could not.

Filled with determination she takes her first step off Killehad. Heading away from the bridge and into the deep woods she was officially in Gum Gum territory. Her weapon wasn't drawn and it was clear she wasn't an active threat. Though Gum Gums never were ones to pick up on hints, if she had to fight she came prepared but she'd rather leave the woods unscathed.

Venturing deeper into Gum Gum territory her chainmail echoes through the dense foliage. Low hissing and rustling could be heard from the bushes as scouts watched her. Golden and green glowing eyes all around her as she boldly kept walking. Her hand was now on her hip weapon ready to draw but she hadn't felt the need yet. She was hoping to speak to a general or a higher-up GumGum and somehow barter for the cure but as the growls got louder Dawn knew she'd have to fight. She was waiting for someone to come and address her and the soldiers watching her seemed to understand her silent demand as they kept their distance.

Hearing something Dawn reacts quickly. Turning boots sinking into the mud as she grouds herself her blade made a distinctive swish before it clanked loudly striking against Gunmars sword. Sparks fly and the temporary bright light causes her green eyes to shine under her cloak. The brute growled in her face and she growled back surprising the GumGum King.

"You wonder deep in our territory Knight." He hisses. Dawn responds by pressing her sword harder against his. Remembering what the knights had done, she leans back before she puts all her effort into her sword pushing the blade against his forcing him back. Stumbling Gunmar catches himself. His blue eye stares at her cloak as he pauses surprised by the human's strength. Tightening her grip on her sword showing no hesitation that she'd strike again he chuffs unamused.

His dark blue eye scans her form but all he sees is a long cloak and the shine of her sword in the dim light. Sniffing the air he chuffs surprised. It was a magical blade. A mage? Hadn't Arthur murdered them all?

"I don't want to fight. I come seeking your aid." Dawn states tilting her head to look at the GumGum king. He couldn't see her face but he could feel her stare, those green eyes haunted him. This was no normal human. No normal mage. Chuffing he sneers tilting his head.

"Oh? And why would I help a fleshbag morsel like you?" He snarls beginning to pace around her. Dawn followed his motions watching him closely. He admitted he was curious at what this knight could want at how someone could be so stupid and bold. They were foolish to come here but from the sword skills they showed he could see why they assumed they'd be safe.

"Because one of your own is dying and I'm trying-" Dawn starts but Gunmar growls bearing his fangs at her.

"SILENCE!" He roars. Dawn closes her mouth and waits. He comes close and sniffs her before huffing hot air in her face unimpressed. She reaches up to keep her hood on not wanting him to see who she really is. If he knew she was Dawna Noble of the PenDragon line it'd be over. He'd send her corpse to Arthur and her friend's life would be lost before she had a chance to win it.

Rolling his eye, he turns annoyed by her insistent presence. "Go home whelp." He orders. "Humans speak only lies and when it isn't lies it's stupidity. Get out and don't return and you may tell your friends at the Round Table you survived. You are no meal and you're not worth the effort." He huffs waving her off. Dawn stands shocked as he begins walking away. She just ran from the safety of her home to try and save a troll's life and Gunmar doesn't even acknowledge her? He pushes her away like she's just a confused child. Grip tightening on her sword she grits her teeth shaking. She had come too far to turn back now.

"I'm not going anywhere!" She snaps. Running to stand in front of the Gum Gum king she spreads her arms blocking his path. She's shaking making her chainmail rattle. She'd come so far he couldn't deny her now! "I came here to Gum Gum territory at night! It's important please at least listen to what I have to say." She begs. He looked annoyed and she frowned, lowering her arms. "I need something… and I know your people are the only ones who can give it to me." Stepping closer to Gunmar unafraid and praying for the life of her friend he growls at her. She's about to respond with a growl of her own when a sharp tug from her cloak made her stumble back from the King choking. She was so distracted talking to Gunmar she forgot to watch her back.

Tilting her head clawing at the clasp around her neck the Gum Gum prince was behind her and his claws had snagged her cape. He ripped at the fabric chuckling as she gasped for air. Unclasping the cloak knowing it was her life or her identity Dawn turned eyes blazing. The grip on her sword tightened making it glow as her green eyes glared into his red ones. She sneered at the Prince of Darkness teeth bared. He stumbled back in surprise eyes wide as he stared at her armor before staring at her face. Dropping her cloak he stepped closer curious as he sniffed her. Her amor bore Camelots symbol and stepping closer he clearly saw the Noble clans markings in the carvings of her amor. Dawn pushes Bular's face away when he gets to close and he chuckles.

"... Dawna? The King's niece? A child?" He laughs but Dawn stays undeterred. Her grip remains on her sword as she points the end at him. He chuckled amused. It seemed she was braver than the rest of her family or stupider.

"This child." Dawn says slowly eyes narrowed into slits as she feels anger course through her veins. Her hands burn coursing with energy and suddenly the trees begin to shake as the branches above them shift. Distracted she pushes Bular over with the butt of her sword forcing him against the wet grass. The Moonlight leaked through the trees as leaves swirled around her. Had it been the day she surely would've killed him. But that wasn't her intention.

She wanted him to see her. To fear her and as her armor shone as bright as the moon GumGums hissed backing up at the glare. "Is not one to be triffled with. I seek something and I'm not leaving till I get it." She states glaring down at Bular. He growls at her, angry she'd knocked him down but she seems unaffected by his silent threat.

"Like we'd ever help you." Bular huffs pushing her sword away from his face. Dawn puts it back in her sheath and sighs. As she took a deep breath she could see this wasn't working. She needed to switch tactics.

Thinking back on everything she knew of Gum Gums she paused, she'd need to choose her next words wisely. "I'm not asking for help. That's weak." She hisses. "I'm asking for a fair trade." Dawn finally says. She holds out her hand for the Prince but he snarls, snapping his teeth at her fingers. She pulls her hand away to avoid the bite and rolls her eyes. Turning away from Bular she looks back to Gunmar.

"You have nothing we want." The troll states uninterested. Dawn hums. No she didn't, did she? What was she expecting? The Gum Gums to reach into their darkened hearts and present her the cure like a gift? This was doomed to end in a fight.

Hand on her sword she hums as Bular shifts behind her. The brute huffs as he gets up, bumping her aside as he walks by to get to his father. Both the beasts now glared at her. Dawn wishes she could say she was without fear as they stared at her but she'd come so far she wouldn't turn back now.

"Leave your wasting our time." Bular says uncaring of her achievements or her power. "Your so skinny we'd choke on your bones." He adds. His father laughs head bomping his son but Dawn shakes anger radiating through her. Eyes turning a dark green she feels the grip on her powers loosen. In a perfect circle around the three of them the grass dies. The two trolls watch as the plants around them begin to wither, roots twisting and cracking as wood split and leaves fluttered down. Then it all turned black rotting away. Facing them her eyes burn with a need to prove herself. The moon shines on her and Dawn's armor reflects it's light showing her power as she stood in the dead grass.

"Then fight me. In a duel." She demands standing her tallest as she looks at them.

She wasn't leaving without that cure. She may fall here but she falls with more grace than either of these so called warriors.

Gunmar leans in close his horns jutting out like a crooked crown as he snarls at her. Dawn snarls back. She. Wasn't. Leaving. Without. That. Cure.

"... Fine. You wish to die? I will not stop you." Turning Bular and him begin to stalk away. Soldiers surround her and as she draws her blade eyes wide she sees Gunmar pause. The soldiers don't advance or go for an attack. Dawn turns and Gunmar stares at her waiting. She realizes she is supposed to follow. Taking one last look back at Killahead and the safety of the forest beyond she picks her shredded cloak off the dead grass before reclasping it around her neck.

It seems she got what she wanted.

~~~

An hour or two must have passed making Dawn fear she wouldn't get back before Daylight. If her bed was empty when the castle awoke they'd send a search party and she'd never be aloud to leave again. Arthur would watch her every move and Merlin… she'd never be aloud to learn another spell. Trudging on through the darkness of the woods fearing that Daybreak was near she felt weak. Her legs were tired from the long trek but she knew it was worth it. She watched as they passed trees with scratch marks in them and trollish sayings and carvings she couldn't decipher. Dawn pauses touching one of the trees and tracing the carving it flashed green and the words changed allowing her to read it. Tilting her head she squints.

"Home…?" She mumbled seeing the deep groves in the tree. Dawn felt she knew this language from a distant memory as if it had been murmered once before as if it'd been read to her. Trying to remember how she knew it, a jab to her back made her hiss.

Poked with a guards spear she walks away and observes her surroundings closely. Seeing more trolls watching from the bushes, standing guard Dawn realized they had led her into the heart of their territory. Her eyes are wide in wonder as she looks around enamoured. She'd heard such dark stories about the GumGums home but standing here she could only feel the warmth of fellow warrior spirits.

Tents were set up and huts made from the surrounding trees and rock. Everything was handcrafted in a way Dawn never knew trolls were capable of. Woven branches and carved rock shielded families from the cold as they laid together. Fires raged in pits and the flames made the GumGums eyes reflect as they watched her follow their king.

Younglings ran around the camp jumping into bushes only to leap out at their friends causing squeals of joy to ring through the camp. Mothers and fathers sat and chatted as they groomed their newborn whelps, licking them clean as they made little squeaks of protest wiggling in their parents grip. Soldiers sparred and played chuffing at one other as they rolled around and smashed their helmets against each other, kits cheering them on. The more she saw the more she began to question her faith and allegiance to Arthur.

Was this any different than home? They wove intricate baskets of grass that held food and supplies just like the weavers and potters of Camelot. There were some differences such as how and what they wove but the patterns told a story just like her people. Warriors brought back what they'd hunted putting them in piles for all to share similar to the town's trade center. Children played games with each other running around as adults took turns to watch. Was this not exactly like Camelot? Was the way the soldiers behaved any different than Camelots knight barracks or the teens copying the soldiers exactly like young squires? She could almost imagine the GumGums as humans in this light, as a thriving tribe deep in the woods who wanted nothing to do with Camelots culture.

As she was pushed forward by GumGum spears to keep pace, she stumbled lost in her own thoughts.

Stumbling forward trying to wrap her head around the fact that the GumGums weren't all evil she stared up at Gunmar. From this angle walking with his son he almost seemed... human. He could've eaten her or mauled her when they first encountered each other but instead he listened to her pleas and now he was giving her a chance to fight. That was more than what Arthur ever did for her. More than Lancelot believed she could do. Who was the real monster in this war? Was there even a need for war?

Turning Gunmar meets her gaze and she looks away. She decides to study his camp as this may be her only chance. Looking around taking in the dense foliage and how they'd made it a home she felt eyes on her. Turning whelps watched her curiously blinking owlishly at her. She wonders if they've ever seen a human. Well a live human. Bending down and pausing to wave they ran off squeaking to their mothers. Staring at the troll families who held their children close and their harsh gazes as they glared at the princess, Dawn realized she was the only monster here.

Bular chuffed amused, making Dawn blush. Of course they'd be scared of her. After all she was the enemy. Getting up and pulling her cloak closer plants nervously bloomed around her and nearby crystals glowed reacting to her emotions. She flushed embarrassed at her lack of control and quickly followed the King of Darkness, curious eyes watching as they left.

~~~

Lead to an arena Dawn pauses in awe. She was standing in the fabled GumGums battle room, she'd only ever heard stories. She never thought she'd see this place. Looking out at the various weapons placed around their training space. There were axes, swords, spears, javelins, maces, and other weapons she didn't recognize. Her green eyes widened in amazement studying the colosseum from the balcony they stood on. It overlooked everything and she was determined to write this down and document it later. The arena was large and wide carved out from the center of the mountain, hidden deep in the core. She could see statues of fallen warriors decorating the rims of the arena. Stone steps carved from years of work circled the colosseum allowing trolls to watch as others spared. She also noticed dents in the walls and wondered about the battles that caused such scars.

Running forward Glowing Green crystals jutted from the ground and tapping one, it glowed brightly reacting to her touch. Her heart swelled at the magic in this room, the history. She felt an ancient power in this place and could feel the souls of thousands of trolls who had fallen here. It was exhilarating unlike anything she'd ever experienced. Unlike anything in Camelot.

"Our rules are simple fleshbag." Gunmar states demanding her attention. Turning away from the balconies edge and focusing on him he snarls from his place on his throne beginning. Skulls decorated his seat and Dawn swallows before meeting his gaze listening closely. "Rule One. Always finish the fight and never hesitate." He states slamming his hand onto an old skull crushing it. Dawn nods aware of this troll custom despite how much she despised it. "Rule Two it must be your blade that ends the fight it can not be your enemies." Holding her sword tightly Dawn understands this. If she lost her weapon she could not use her opponent's to end them.

Gunmar smirked, leaning forward on his throne of bones as he chuffed in her face. Hot air sent her hood back and made her long hair shift as he leered down at her. "And Rule Three young mage. No magic." He instructs.

Dawna chokes hearing the last demand. No magic? Since when was that a Gum Gum rule? She was never informed that would be part of the deal. Looking over at Gunmars son she brings her sword close.

Bular was at least twelve feet tall and Gunmar fifteen. She was a third their size, maybe half at best.

Without her magic it would be impossible to defeat either of them. She could fight but she didn't have proper training in dueling only practice from when she copied Lancelot. Not to mention the split swords she'd brought were magic. She'd only have the weak weapon she swiped from the knight hall which to a troll was barely a dagger. She wasn't even sure it could go through a trolls skin. As they watched waiting for an answer, Dawn's hands clenched beginning to glow. She supposed magic would be an unfair advantage but wasn't it unfair to make her fight without it? Magic was apart of her, apart of this place. To deny her such a large part of herself… Trembling she felt sick. Perhaps Gunmar and Arthur shared more than she assumed.

"Well princess?" Gunmar sneers the title like an insult before smirking, licking his fangs. "What is your decision? Do not waste our time." Dawn shakes. He thinks her a coward, a cheat but she would always keep true to her word. She came here. She had to finish this. Looking at her hands before closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. The glow dies and their left in the dull light of the green crystals.

Looking up and nodding Gunmar chuffed staring at her. Sighing, she looked down at herself allowing her armor to fade away. She felt naked without her protection but If they considered magic cheating then she would respect their rules as she was on their land.

"I do not cheat. I do not need magic to win. And if I fall there's no one to go back to anyways..." Closing her eyes thinking of home she knows either way she wins. She either dies and meets Gwenivere in Avalon or she returns to the castle and saves her friend's life.

Whispering a prayer to her family and hoping this was not her last night alive Dawn nods. She stands before the King and Prince unarmored and defenceless cept a small blade she held. Gunmar turns and not a moment later an attendant walks in carrying what Dawn feared most. Ravenstone.

Rare and made from the dust of fallen magic users ravenstone blocked any magic from being used, containing the energy and even stealing it if a mage was around it too long. She holds the stone in her hands when the attendant passes it to her and pauses seeing they were cuffs.

She swallows as they watch her and closing her eyes she slips them on wearing them as bracelets. Shivering Dawn could feel them working, they would not only block her magic but drain her energy as well. She'd have to be smart in this battle or she'd surely fall.

Rubbing the cuffs nervously she feels the intricate runes carved into the stone. They told the story of her kind, the origin of magic. A zap of electricity goes up her arms making her feel more powerful despite the impediment. "I do not intend to lose." She states boldly. Bular chuffs sword dragging against the ground. Neither did he. Turning towards the arena she begins walking down the stairs, the brute following her.

It seemed Bular had decided he would be her fighting partner and Gunmar their witness.

Waiting at the bottom she paused. Spinning the sword in her hand she stared into the steel looking at her reflection. If she died today she died a hero. If she won it wouldn't be long lived. Dictatuous was running out of time. He needed the cure. Now.

Attacking her while she's distracted, Dawn quickly focuses back on Bular, on the battle. Their swords clash against each other creating sparks as they glare at one other. She was tired, had less fighting experience, and was weaker. Smirking Dawn pushed Bular back, she guessed that made this a fair match.

Clawing at the ground gaining his footing he snarls and charges at her. Dawn thinking quickly jumps up and flips over him as he swings his sword where she had just stood. Landing she turns holding up her blade as his crashed against hers. He sneered pushing down and she cries out feeling the increasing pressure as he pushes down. Huffing she kicks him back making both of them skid.

She breathes deeply grip tightening. The battle had just begun and she knew she was outmatched. Shifting her position she glances up at Gunmar. He sat on his throne overlooking their battle, watching amused. His eye met hers and she stares wondering what he must think of her, of his son before Bular crashes back into her, sending her backwards. Hitting the ground she rolls rocks digging into her skin. Her shirt catches and she hisses as the cloth rips open and slashes her flesh making blood spill. The first blood drawn from battle.

Getting up she stares at Bular. She couldn't get distracted. This wasn't like home, if she lost here she wouldn't get back up again.

Bular stalks towards her grinning as he dragged his two swords. Taunting her as they scratched deep groves into the floor. In the green light of the jagged crystals his eyes glowed and Dawn saw a blood lust she'd never seen before. Ducking behind a rock as he slashed his swords at her she inches around it before she rolls forward going under his legs aiming at his ankles. Making contact she quickly scrambles up also hitting him in the back right above his kilt. Holding her sword waiting for a counter attack the Prince roars. Snarling he turns, swords hitting her with so much force she's slammed into a wall. Making contact she drops her sword, gasping as she grabs her side. He'd gotten her. Twice now. But so had she. They were even. Grimacing in pain eyes wide in fear she stares up at the warlords son.

"Look at you. Tiny and weak human. You thought you could best me? I am the son of Gunmar! I am a conquer! And now for your ignorance you shall fall." He states raising his swords above her head. Eyes darting around Dawn smirks. Kicking him in the grocknuts as hard as she can he roars, dropping his swords and whimpering. She grabs her own weapon before charging. Kicking him backwards again she slashes at his chest causing black blood to spill.

"Miserable human your death will be painful for that!" He threatens as he smacks her away with his arm. Falling back sword clattering as it slips out of her hand once more Dawn groans.

Her breathing is rough as she shakes. Bular picks up his blades and as she kicks back trying to reach her sword his claws dig into her ankle pulling her towards him. He huffs hot air into her face keeping her pinned and she stares at him. He raises a sword but moving her head the blade simply sinks into the ground next to her. He snarls and she snarls back, body burning with pain but brimming with determination. She could not fall.

Smashing her head against his he hisses in pain, stumbling back as she stands. Blood drips into her eye and her ankle burns from the deep cuts but she still stands tall. "I don't intend to lose." She sneers and he growls at her. Tackling her to the ground Dawn grunts but smirks. He'd pushed her closer to her blade.

Smiling Bular stared down at her ready to smash her head in right as her sword pierced his side and went straight through his ribcage. She missed his heart intentionally though she wonders how his face would've looked if he had been beaten by such a "weakling" as herself. Smiling as warm blood dripped onto her hands from the wound she'd inflicted she forced him back before climbing on top of him straddling him. Grabbing his horns and pushing his head down she glares down at him huffing.

"You you you!!!" He roars thrashing but Dawn keeps one hand on the sword threatening to push it all the way through if he didn't listen. The other rested on his horn keeping his head down.

"Yield Bular. You've lost." Dawn snarls. Their battle was intense and she almost fell but Bulars cockiness had been his downfall. Her hair falls onto his face as she breathes deeply staring into his eyes. Bular chuffs growling at her but her hand remained on the hilt of the sword reminding him she could end him if she chose. She'd done it. Bloody but not broken she'd beaten Bular the Butcher.

"MY SON!" Gunmar screeches from his throne ready to charge. Dawn turns holding out her hand that'd been on Bulars horn. The GumGum king paused snorting at her boldness.

"I'll make a deal." Dawn states. "Declare I've won and I'll take off the raven cuffs, I'll heal him, and we never speak of this. And..." She takes a deep breath in blood still dripping from her wounds. "You give me what I desire." Dawn offers. Gunmar chuffs staring at her then Bular. Bular who was covered in blood and beaten by a mere mortal. His son. His legacy. Who was this girl?

There's a long pause where the only sound is Bular and Dawns wheezing breaths. Dawn and Gunmar stare at each other and finally Gunmar chuffs looking away.

"You have won." He growls lowly.

"Father!" Bular snaps before roaring at the movement. The pain from the inflicted wound was unlike anything he'd ever felt. Dawn turns eyes wide as she holds the sword still to keep it from hurting him further.

"Silence! You have lost Bular let the witch work!" Dawn nods and ripping off the cuffs she takes out the sword before placing her hands against the wound. His stone was warm despite being rock something she wasn't expecting. The texture was rough and marred threatening to slit her hands open if she didn't work carefully. Black and red stained her hands their blood mixing together and as her eyesight blurred she prayed that after the battle her magic was strong enough to heal him.

Closing her eyes focusing Bulars breathing and chuffing gets louder as electricity courses through his veins. Dawn feels the wound close under her fingertips slowly and putting more energy into it, more thought the GumGum Prince stares amazed as the rock melts and melds before becoming a small scar against his chest. Almost as if she'd never struck him in the first place.

Dawn pulls back still straddling him and he stares at her. This small human who just put him on the brink of death only to save him. Who was this human? This Dawna Nobel?

"... Can I please get the troll cure and go home now?" She begs falling off the dark prince to lay on the ground besides him. They both lay still after their battle, taking deep breaths in.

~~~

Gunmar held the potion as Dawn smiled. She had a small cut above her eye from headbutting Bular and a gash on her arm and leg from rolling on the ground but she'd done it. She got the cure to save Dictatious. Taking the bottle into her hands Gunmar leaned close.

"Do not let me see you here again." He chuffs. "And do not take this potion lightly. It could destroy my people but I put my trust in you as you've been the only honorable human I have met in some time. You bested my son and for that you will not be underestimated again." Holding the bottle close, feeling the warmth of it's magic through the glass Dawn looks at Gunmar and nods. That was the closet to a compliment she'd ever get from the GumGum King.

"You have my word Gunmar." Smiling she turns facing Killahead before she fades into the shadows disappearing.

Sputtering as she falls into one of the many castle halls, Dawn can't breathe as she lays flat on the carpet. Breathing deeply her hands dig into the lush fabric as her eyes go blurry. Groaning light leaks from a nearby window onto her face and she sees it's sunup, sometime in the early morning. Grunting body burning in pain as she slowly gets up she begins to limp down the hall sweat and blood dripping down her face. But holding the potion close she can't bring herself to care about her pain. Heaving in air, she could feel the night and the toll of magic finally catch up to her. However she couldn't quit rest yet. Clawing at the wall as she continues walking she pulls herself forward cradling her prize close.

~~~

Dawn paused looking around the corner. The guards that were usually stationed for prison duty were gone on shift leave, giving her a window of opportunity. Opening the door that led to the dungeons quietly she sneaks inside to the staircase before closing the door. Staying in the shadows and avoiding the torches she creeps down the stairs careful not to make a sound. Peaking, her head out she sees most of the trolls were resting or trying too. Hacking could be heard and she winces, listening to Dictatious as he continued to cough.

Walking quietly across the stone floor, trolls don't pay her cloaked form any mind. Standing near his cell she holds the mug of tea and potion close. She'd changed her clothes to look more presentable. She'd also slipped into the kitchens when no one was looking to grab a few things. Holding the potion and tea in her hand she pauses outside his cell. She could study the potion Gunmar gifted her, reverse it. Make a weapon and wipe out the GumGums once and for all. Magic would finally be respected. Arthur would respect her. But...

Hearing his loud pained coughs Dawn closes her eyes as she pours the potion into the tea. She sticks the cup through the cell bars allowing Dictatious to take it. The hacking stops and Dawn slowly opens her eyes. Dictatious looks at her untrusting and she frowns her hand with the tea shaking.

"Please it'll help I promise..." She begs him. He blinks before looking at Dawn through the bars that seperated them, all six eyes peering into her soul through the darkness of the dungeon.

"... why?" He asks voice barely above a whisper as he forces it out of his raspy throat. He had gotten worse while she was gone but she believed Gunmar had fulfilled his deal as she had hers. That his sickness would be cured once he drank what she'd fought for and that he'd live just as she had.

"Because this is wrong and I'm sorry. Please..." Dawn continues to offer the cure, cloak hiding her face but Dictatious knew her. She was the King's niece. She was Camelots jewel. She was that girl who would sneak into the woods to learn magic and come down into these dark dungeons to hear the stories he told other trolls to keep their hopes up.

He sniffed the tea, it was a spicy moss blend that Dawn found many trolls enjoyed. The ingredients in the kitchen were slightly different from what trolls used but she hoped it'd appease him. Dictatious and her were by no means close but she wanted to amend that. They'd met in the woods when she was small, he'd helped her home. And once more he'd seen her practicing magic and had gifted her a troll book about ancient spells. She'd hated trolls for months after Gweniveres passing. She'd hated her magic but then she remembered. She remembered her aunts love and kindness. Her passion for the arts and her interest in magic. She would not let Arthur get away with this if she was still alive. But she was dead so it was Dawn's responsibility now.

It helped that Dictatious told stories whenever she came down to explore the dungeons. Although they never directly interacted he showed her not all trolls were evil. Before he got sick he spun tales of his world explaining magic in a way Dawn had never heard before. He was not a beast like Arthur described and she couldn't bear for him to die when he became sick and could no longer tell his stories. She couldn't stand that these trolls were trapped, that so many had died here. But for now all she had to beg for forgiveness was the potion.

"..." Dictatious studies Dawn humming as he looks her over. He takes the cup, his hands touching hers. She smiles and he looks grateful as he takes the warm mug. Looking at the princess with glazy eyes he snorts amused. "You are not like your family. You are different..." Dawn tilts her head but he doesn't add on as he chugs the drink. Once done he hands the cup back before curling into a ball on the dungeons cold floor. Dawn stares at him panicked. Had it been poison? Was he dying? Had she killed him? Had Gunmar lied to her?

"Dic…?" Going to open the cell bars she paused watching his chest slowly rise and fall. Sleeping. The troll was just resting. Sighing and letting out a laugh Dawn falls against the bars exhausted. Chuckling she hugs her knees close. As she looked at Dic slumbering and listened to the rumbling trolls around her, her eyes fluttered. Yes she could use some of that too...

~~~

Dawn feels a hand on her shoulder. She startles awake looking around confused before she remembers visiting Dic in the dungeons. Groaning she isn't sure when she dozed off but apparently she had.

"You stayed?" Turning Dawn takes off her cloaks hood and pauses seeing Dictatious look at her. Smiling she stands, excited the potion worked as he looked much healthier.

"You're up." She states ignoring his previous remark. Studying him he seemed to be in good health despite the terrible circumstances. Dic hums in response reaching his hand through the bars to touch Dawns face. "Are you well?" She asks ignoring as he poked her.

"I am but what of you? What happened to you?" Dawn blushes remembering the bruises and cuts all over her face from the duel. She didn't have the energy to deal with them last night. Letting out a chuckle she shrugs it off.

"Don't worry about it." She responds, muttering a quick spell to heal her injuries. Dictatious watches with wide eyes as the cuts slowly close and the swelling goes down. She still had some light bruising but she looked much better. He had not seen her last night in the darkness of the dungeon but he'd recognized her scent and voice. Plus she was the only human who really came down here other than the Knights.

"You are a very strange human." He states crossing his arms. Chuckling Dawn nods. She was indeed different than her family.

"Can you walk? What about run?" She questions suddenly. Dictatiouses face scrunches as he tilts his head. What was she planning now?

"Yes I feel fine now but why?" He asks. Dawn nods at him before she summons her armor. If she'd fallen asleep against the cells in the morning than it had to be dark now.

"You've been here long enough. All of you. It's time you go home." She states.

"Dawna what are you doing?" Dictatious demands grabbing at her arm but she was already walking away from his cell to the center of the room. Making the torches burn bright, light fills the room showing Dawn. "... You don't know me!" Dawn addresses them and the sound of grating stone can be heard as they turn and shift towards her. Eyes of all shapes and sizes watching the girl speak. "But I believe Trolls aren't evil. And I promise you, neither are humans. I do this because what my uncle Arthur did to all of you was wrong. I do this to show we're not all like him." Dawn fueled by saving Dic holds up her hand and all the cadges glow. Trolls gasp backing away before the locks suddenly click and the doors swing open. They… they were free? "Follow me and I'll lead you home!" Pulling her hood up Dawn runs out of the dungeon towards the castles entrance and the trolls, goblins, stalklings, and gnomes follow. Dictatious pushes past other trolls and rushing out of his now opened cell runs to be in the front right next to her.

"Dawna this could be your title! This could be everything. Your very life! What are you doing?" He demands pulling on her arm but she just smiles, winking at him.

She leads a charge, directing the various creatures through the castle. Bigger creatures pick up smaller or sicker ones to help them keep up. The freed trolls follow behind her trusting the emboldened mage who had saved them. Their thundering footsteps echoing through the castle.

Making it to the front entrance she bursts the door open with her magic, leading everyone out of the castle and through the labyrinth of Camelot cobblestone streets before finally arriving at the gate. Focusing and saying a spell she hoists the iron bars open and they nod at her in thanks before they run.

It was early morning and the sun slowly begins to rise but for now there was enough shade for the night creatures to travel safely. Dawna can hear commotion coming from the castle as knights scurry around trying to find the escaped trolls and missing princess. Laughing as she watches the trolls flee, seeing them return home to the woods her chest flutters in happiness. She'd done it. She'd used magic and she'd freed them.

Feeling a pull Dawn stumbles almost dropping the gate and pausing she turns.

"Lets go." Dictatious states yanking at her hand. She blinks surprised before staring at the troll.

"What?" She asks softly. He pulls again wanting to drag her into the woods with him. With all of them. Some trolls pause on the bridge looking back and waiting for her decision.

"Come with us. Please." Dawn blinks before she stares at Dictatious. Tilting her head she gazes outward, to the woods and their lush forest. With the freshest of fruits and gorgeous flowers. With friends. With Safety. With Magic. With sparring. And Freedom. She'd have freedom. She feels another pull and hesitantly she takes a step back so she doesn't go running away with them.

"My family is here..." She mumbles but she longs to leave with Dictatious. To go to their troll safe haven and explore the troll world. Too read endless books and immerse herself in their culture and magic. Too see what she'd only heard stories about. To become what she could only dream.

"You don't belong with them." Dictatious lightly bumps her head with his before squeezing her cheeks. Dawn is confused but laughing she smiles realising he had just given her the equivalent of a platonic troll kiss. He saw her as kin and he wanted her safe. She didn't belong in Camelot anymore did she? Her home was the wild surrounded by trees and magic not cobblestone and iron. But if she stayed she could help and maybe someday she would ascend to the throne and she could fix things. She could repair the damage done by Arthurs anger and she could rule with Gweniveres love.

The loud clanking of armor gets closer and Dawn hugs Dictatious feeling his rough stone against her before she pushes him to flee. He runs understanding her decision but at the end of the bridge he hesitates sending her a hopeful glance. He waits but Dawn simply bows a last goodbye and he nods taking off into the safety of the woods. Looking up again about to bring the gate back down Dawn pauses.

Gunmar stood at the edge of the woods watching. Tilting her head he nodded slowly at her. He did not trust humans and the Royal Family was at the top of that list but Dawn hoped she had earned his respect. If she ever fell by his hand she hoped it would be a quick merciful death. Something he granted few.

The iron bars slam down as her magic burned out, separating her from the woods and all that lied beyond. Dawn signs looking away. Once again she was trapped.

~~~

Gunmar stood at the woods edge peering into the Humans putrid village. He had come to scout and see if Dawna would keep her word. If the potion she won truly was for a troll or if she was lying and planned to use it against them and slaughter his troops. His single eye widened as the gates opened. He growled ready to tear open her throat but paused as a flood of magical creatures poured out rather than the army he was expecting. He could see trolls of all kinds, stalkings, gnomes, and goblins and amongst them stood an unafraid Dawna. They towered over her and had ten times her strength and yet she didn't fear them. They all left and Dawna was alone. Going to turn and leave he paused. Some trolls remained. A cloaked troll had stayed back and now they were clinging to her. Even from the distance he could see they were small and sickly, barley recovered despite the potion it seemed. The troll pulled at her as the others encouraged her to leave with them. Gunmar snorted enraged at the notion they'd invite her into the woods.

The girl simply nodded no, trying to urge them to leave. A wise decision on her part. The troll looks up and saw he was running out of time, the light was coming and with it his death if he didn't hurry. He leaves but Gunmar watches him hesitate. The trolls look back and Dawn smiles before bowing goodbye. The trolls run to the shelter of the trees and the princess watches them leave. The gate is about to drop before her green eyes lock onto him. Their gaze meets and she slowly nods to him. The gate slams down separating them before he can respond and he hums watching her run off as knights come. Perhaps if things were different. If she was born a troll or even a GumGum in another life they could've been allies. Maybe even friends. He turns feeling saddened that she chose to remain imprisoned when she clearly could be free. What an odd human.

#dawn #dawna the shapeshifting mage #dawna #magic user #original writing #orginal characters #o.c #trollhunters #magic character #toa #wizards #t.o.a

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berri-hopefulspouse · 4 years ago

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"Soren, would you like to go first?" Ren never really expected themselves to be before an officiant- let alone for this reason...But, for some reason, they weren't afraid. Not exactly, not in the way they thought they would be. Nodding, they look back to Makoto- after keeping in yet another internal little squeak- and give a soft sigh and a little smile...They were ready for this.

"When we first met...and I mean, truly, deeply first met... I felt almost drawn to you. You said it yourself; we had always had some kind of connection, one that goes beyond time, space...probably even ourselves as we are currently. I always felt drawn to you then, to be close to you- but I could never exactly pinpoint what it was...yet, here we are now. Years later, and we're both still here. Both still...okay. I'll be the first one to say it- shit isn't perfect-" That gets a bit of a chuckle from themselves, "-But we're here...and we're alive. And we have the groundwork for a new beginning."

With a little shaky, nervous sigh, they bite their lower lip and manage to maintain eye contact with Makoto, "...I know I can't always be there when you need me- and I know I can't promise things will be perfect. But I can promise- can vow to you- that I'll be doing my best, each and everyday. Doing my best to improve, to get better, to learn new things, and to love you. Each, and everyday. Always, and forever. You mean the world to me, and to whatever secrets that we may share in the future..." Theres a smirk, and already Makoto knows what's coming, "I'll never tell a single soul. That's a promise, and my vow to you...I'll always, always cherish you."

Despite their light joke, there were tears in their eyes, barely held together through their strict will alone. Makoto wasn't much better- in fact he had to let go of their hand once or twice to wipe at his own eyes, before letting out a soft laugh of surprise himself. Still, after looking to the officiant himself- and getting a small nod- he proceeded to speak himself.

"Ren, first of all, how dare you make me cry like that-" That got a laugh out of the two of them, as well as the small gathering of people who had decided to attend that day, "-Still, still...There's so many things I could say...So many things I want to say- and it wouldn't truly be enough. You're so many things- you've done so much for me and for those around you...and yet, you never stop pursuing to help everyone around you. Everyone except yourself." Despite himself, he rests a hand gently on their cheek to reassure them, to calm them down a bit.

"I thought I knew who I was- someone who didn't quite stick out in the crowd, who was just...well, average at everything I did. And I thought I was okay with that... But uh..." He chuckled nervously, "Turns out that's just self esteem issues, I suppose. You never stopped believing in me- back then and all the way up until now. No matter what we faced, you had full faith in me that it'd be alright. I've always had a more optimistic attitude...and you always struggled to maintain one, but you still were always there for me. You say you weren't- but I assure you, even if you couldn't physically help in some way...I knew you were there for me, in spirit."

He shakes his head a bit, "I guess this is a roundabout way of saying...I'm proud of you. You've taught me so much, and grown so much more than from when we first met. You stand tall- well, really short in your case-" A little joke that earned him a gentle subtle kick with their shoe- causing him to laugh, "-You stand tall in the face of everything you've been through. Each day you keep moving forward, despite what lingers over you...And for that reason alone, I'm so proud of you. You always tell me that I saved you, that I've done so much for you...and while I can't always believe that's true, I can promise you that I'll be there whenever I can. You deserve to have someone who can protect you, and well- if it's me...I guess I really can't argue with that. I love you, Soren...with everything I am. You're my hope, and my proof that my Ultimate Luck truly isn't just a throwaway Ultimate...It's proof that I really am lucky to have you in my life. I swear, I'll never leave you- if you'll allow me to stay in your life...and that I'll always do my best to protect you, and cherish what we have. Always. My love for you is no secret."

He was trying to keep his voice from shaking, truly he was- but while his tone held certainty, his nervousness was equally as palpable in his tone. It was also not much of a secret that, simply put- he had completely did that on the fly, rather than plan it out. All the same, it looked like his words got through to them- the tears they were trying to keep back having started to fall from their cheeks. Leaning into the palm of his hand that still rested on their cheek, they nuzzled into it for comfort before pulling back to let his hand free- a smile on their face the whole while. At least he knew he didn't royally screw that up.

Still, thereafter came the rings- the one thing Makoto knew for certain. Ren may have been the one to do most of the planning- Mostly in part due to Makoto knowing full and well they were better at all of this than he could ever really hope to be- but he was the one who picked what the wedding bands would be. He didn't let Ren see what they were, wanting to get their reaction above anything else. He did his own first, slipping the ring carefully onto their ring finger- trying to quell the slightly anxious tremble of his own hands. He couldn't help being nervous.

The ring itself was simple in nature, but it's meanings would show themselves to those two alone. Theirs particularly had an outer layer of silver- steel, particularly- with moonstone in the middle. Carved into it, were a few small things. A moon and some stars, a reminder of the promise ring they got the both of them and a light comparison to his own band. A small little heart, that had a little ruby heart gemstone in the middle, as it was their birthstone. Lastly, on the underside of the ring, was engraved a few simple words; 'You are my luck, and my hope.'

His was similar of course, rather instead a shade of gold rather than silver with sun and cloud engravings on his own, and an sapphire heart rather than a ruby one. On the underside of his, was something that he heard them say to him once or twice- something that stuck with him, something he observed as they, in turn, slipped the band onto his ring finger.

'You're the reason I believe in my empathy.'

He watched Ren's reaction, though, as their expression shifted from the soft counterance they had previously to curiosity. Then, to thought- likely tuning out the officiant in favor of observing the ring- and finally acknowledgement, gaze snapping back up to meet Makoto's as the tears that had started to slow down only picked right back up. He could faintly notice them mouth something along the lines of 'You fucking dork,' as the officiant had continued to speak, their facade of pride crumbling down with their tears.

The two had been so busy reveling in their own little world for a few moments, that neither had even noticed that the officiant had been asking a question. Makoto, naturally, snapped out of it first in time for him to recognize his name being said.

"S-sorry, what was that?" And, promptly, his question snapped Ren back out of their own stupor, blushing a bit in embarassment. Makoto wished he wasn't in the same flustered state. Thankfully it got a bit of chuckles out of everyone else, and the officiant repeated himself.

"Do you, Makoto Naegi, take Soren to be your spouse?"

"Oh!" Well, if he wasn't red before hand, he definitely was now, "I...I do." ...But he still wouldn't hesitate with his answer, not for a moment.

It got a bit of a giggle out of Ren. At least they were amused at how flustered he was- but he knew full well it was a double edged sword.

"Soren, do you take Makoto to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Despite watching their cheeks turn a bright red- called it- and noticing their breath bitch a bit, their resolve didn't falter in the slightest.

"I do, now and forever."

Makoto couldn't help but smile at that, the nervous expression he adorned softening into adoration. He could be nervous, sure, but right then and there? With that smile they had on? He could feel nothing but pure, unadulterated love. He didn't notice when the officiant was asking if anyone had any objections- he didn't notice when no one had said anything, or that everyone was staring intently at the two, all he could really notice was them.

He only snapped out of it once more when he heard the Officiant speak once more.

"Then it is my great honor to pronounce you as husband and spouse!" The officiant look to the two with a little grin, "You may now kiss, if so desired."

About halfway through that sentence however, impatient as they were- Ren had quickly grabbed Makoto to yank the brunette into their shorter embrace. Yelping a bit in surprise- it instead dissolved into a little laugh as Ren mumbled a short and cheeky, 'Hey', to Makoto- only before pressing a shy kiss to him. He didn't hesitate to reciprocate, a hand gently combing past the flower crown veil to instead thread his fingers through their hair. Only then did they relax a bit, pressing back with a bit more decor for a few moments before drawing away a bit.

"Hello to you, too, Mx. Naegi," Makoto lightly teased, despite being out of breath. Watching their face equally flush a bright red, but light up with delight, he ignored the small uproar of his friends and family- instead laughing to himself before being ambushed in another kiss from his now-spouse. Despite it all, they made it to this point...New Years Eve- now New Years day...Now, officially, married. To the two, it was clear as day...

What a great way to start a new year.

#[ emotionally hopeful ]#[ ren's art ]#[ ren's s/i ]#[ f/o event: new year wedding ]#I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND I WROTE THIS WITHIN A FEW HOURS AND ALSO FLUSTERED MYSELF THE W H O L E DAMN TIME

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 4 years ago

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my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

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keigoloveminty · 5 years ago

Text

Sweet Angel

Bnha Night club AU

I have a suddenly urge to write this x3 Please enjoy it!

Everyones aged up for this !

Chapter 1: Something new to try

You slammed your head down as you tried not to cry, you were just kicked out of your previous office work, even though it barely paid you,’This is so bad.. ... what am I going to do now!?’,you internally screamed as you scratched your head with both of your hands. You tried to hold back a sob on the papers that screamed ‘You are being relieved from your work, we thank you for your services. Please receive this generous amount of 400,000 yen as thanks’ the money is great an all but you didn’t want to be a burden to your roommates for paying the rent.

You sniffed has you tired to wipe off your tears off while clutching the already wet papers that are now drenched in your tears,”I don't get this! One day they’re are telling me I'm doing great the now I’m being asked to gather all my stuff to cause I’m getting fired. ...”, You placed the papers on the table and walked to the couch and flopped your whole body on it and screamed at a cushion. You friend Ryukyu walked out from the kitchen and gave you a worried expression, she knew you were suddenly fired because you came home crying your eyes out and went straight to your room closing the door quietly. Your roommates including her, Nemuri, Uwabami were quick to try and comfort you, you told them after hours of convincing you to come out and explain but you ended up crying your eyes out while eating your favourite ice cream.

Ryukyu walks to where you were and pats your head,”Maybe this is a sign that you need to try something new, how about that little side Job you do as an artist that takes commissions?”, she says with a soft voice. You looked up form the cushion while sniffling,”I don’t mind that but I don't want to stay cooped up in my room drawing for at least 100+ hours just for commissions, the pays great but mostly all of them are rush orders which is really tiring for me...”, you say. ”Hmmm..Oh! how about streaming?”, She says you tilted your head to the right with a questioning face,”I’m quite shy Ryu-chan and besides it takes awhile to even have a huge fanbase but either way I’m way to shy to even let people see my face anyways...”, this time it was Uwabami’s turn.

“How about working as a model for me? All my models are cool and all but they all have trash attitudes and zero cooperation on shoots”, she huffs as she walks in with two mugs. She hands you a mug,”Its nice and sweet, just how you like your tea”, she smiles. You sat up putting the cushion on you lap and reached for the mug taking a small sip form the tea,”Plus I think you’ll do well as a model with that great body of yours! I’d say you’d do well as a lingerie model”,you almost spit out your tea. You pouted as you looked at her,”I get the ‘Try new things’ but I don’t think putting my body out in billboards or advertisements is too much for me! I’ve done it twice now for you and my coworkers kept asking me if I was working as a part-time model”, you squeaked as you quietly thanked Ryukyu handing a tissue.

“Whaaat? You should flaunt that cute body of yours, besides you're already wearing some of my trial clothings and you look super cute in them already”, she squeals while Ryukyu laughs nervously. Ryukyu was a film director as well as streamer for fun, Uwabami is a fashion designer as well as an online celebrity, and you used to work as a full-time artist that does commissions but decided to try something new and tried to work at a office as someone who basically works their butt off of dozens of papers.

Everyone was user nice and you did considered that you didn't mind working full-time there but after 3 years of serving them you got fired for no specific reason, you were damn sure that you did everything right, learned from your co-workers. You had a suspicion going on that someone who hated you had spread false rumours about you and managed to get to the president which lead you into to being fired. Lastly, is your friend Nemuri, you went sure what her job is, you tired to ask Ryukyu and Uwabami about it but they always say ‘I don’t think you should know..’ or ‘Her work is... something else its like a form of art? But if I tell you it’ll be too much on your soul’ or any answer to redirect your attention.

After 5 years of living together you still didnt know what Nemuri’s job is,”How about working at my job? You should try something wild!”, speak of devil- your friend Nemuri walks out of her room with a towel on her shoulders drying her hair. Ryukyu coughed at her suggestion while Uwabami rolls her eyes at Nemuri,”Nemu I think that work is too much for Y/n, besides thats too wild I don't think y/n will even consider working there even for a week”, she huffs out. Nemuri laughs at this and smirks,”Wanna bet?”, she cheekily says. Before Uwabami could reply to that Ryukyu was kind enough to step in-between the two,”Stop it you two, we are supposed to be comforting y/n and help her find a job. A job that SHE likes working at”, Ryukyu says while gesturing you to face away for her so she could braid your hair as that clams you down a bit.

Uwabami quickly agrees with Ryukyu,”Yeah! Which means she could work with me as a model for my clothes!”, Ryukyu looks at her a straight face,”A job that y/n doesn't MIND working at for awhile or if your’re lucky she likes the job as your model then she’ll your there full-time”, she says as she returns to braiding your hair. Uwabami sighs sadly grumbling ‘She has a small experience for last time and I think she would do well!’ Nemuri laughs at her friends demise and looks back you,”Theres an open spot for waiters/waitress at my job and plus we have a new rule of no touching the waiters/waitress since that incident. Aaanndd we also have a tight security now! five in every floor, room and in the bar as well!”, she walks in the kitchen to grab a beer.

“Isn't is a bit too early for you to start drinking? Don’t you have work later on?”, Uwabami looks at her with a pout on her face. Nemuri waves her off as she take a huge gulp of her favourite beer,”I could take her there to day for an interview plus! y/n already has great experience cause she works at a cafe before! But I wouldn't force you to do it but then again your always open to trying something new and I think--”, before she could finish her sentence Ryukyu cuts her off,”--its y/n decision to either go with you or work with Uwabami or she looks for other jobs that are open to her or continue doing commissions. It up to y/n to figure out what she wants to do next, also I wouldn't mind letting you work as a graphic designer or be my assistant”, Ryukyu says as she now finishes braiding your hair, she leans back to admire her work.

“Thank you Ryu-chan, I think that calm me down a bit. I'll think about your offers”, you say as you look at your roommates, Uwabami silently celebrates and squeals, ‘What ever you pick I'll respect it’ Ryukyu says softly while patting your head. Nemuri rolls her eye at Uwabami,”You haven’t won anything yet Medusa”, she sneers. Medusa is a name that she uses to insult to Uwabami’s hair but Uwabami doesn't care about but rather likes it cause it suits her,”Like your one to talk, what makes you think y/n would work where you work?! You’ll scare her to death”, Uwabami rolls her eyes and scoff at this,”She’s working as a waitress, Uwabami and the pays actually good since its a really popular place and I wouldn't let her go near ‘That’ place, the no touching the waiters or waitresses rule is basically non existent there since its VIP only”, Nemuri reasons out.

The two went back and worth with reasons and all while silently insulting each other, Ryukyu sighs heavily as she looks at you who was silently watching them roast each other,”Well I’m really curious about where Nemuri works at and she did say there's a spot for a waitress and Ive got some experience when I worked at a cafe before, so I guess its not that different, besides I can't stay cooped up in here working on commissions all day everyday. I wanna try something new!”, you stood up with a determined face as he looked at Nemuri.

Ryukyu laughs nervously at your enthusiasm,’I don’t think thats the right expression your wearing, y/n’,she sweat drops at this Uwabami drops her jaw and lets out a loud groan saddened that you didn’t choose her, Nemuri squeals in excitement and quickly runs to your side and grabbed both of your hands,”You won't regret it, I swear on it! I have to call the Prez. to secure a spot for you”, she lets go of your hands and reaches for her back pocket for her phone.

“Now hold on just a second! Y/n hasn't technically agreed AGREED to fully work there anyway!”,Uwabami shouts clearly annoyed that Nemuri is celebrating early, Nemuri sticks her tongue out like a child. Ryukyu deadpans at their childish behaviour,”As long y/n is safe in working-- like you promised, Nemuri-- then I have no problems with y/n working there-- as a waitress--”, Ryukyu says with s strict voice as she puts emphasis on Nemuri’s name and you working as a server there.

Nemuri visibly shakes in her place clearly excited for you to come with her later and check out the place before it opens, her phone rang a few times till the call comes through,”HEY PREZ.!! I finally found someone that could fill in the spot if the previous waiter who decided to quit... ..Yes... Could she check out the place later before the place opens? OH don’t worry use the door from the back.. okay..SHE CAN!! OKAY I’ll tell her right away!!”, she quickly ends the call and turns to face you with a grin.

“Wear your most comfortable outfit y/n!! Im taking you to my work place in 2 hours!!”, Nemuri quickly run back to her room and slams her door close. She opens it again and looks at Uwabami,”Aaanndd if you want her to still test out your cute clothes my work allows waiter and waitresses to wear what ever they want as long as they have thier server badge around them”, she then closes her door again. Uwabami huffs in complete defeat but grumbles out ‘I guess that kind of a win for me, I’ll make sure to have something she could wear-- super cute too!!’ and goes to her room to scavenge and continue her cute designs for you wear.

Ryukyu looks at you with a serious expression,”Well... . seeing as you've decided on going to that work, I guess I can tell you that this job no regular job sure there's some aspects of serving a person their orders or drinks but it goes sometimes goes beyond that, y/n”, you looked at her with a confused look. “How is it different Ryu-chan? OH! Will you finally tell me what kind of work Nemuri has now?”, you asked excited flapping your arms with excitement, Ryukyu cough nervously and looks at your with her eyebrows furrowed and a small smile,”Erm I think you have to seat down for this one Y/n”.

---

Its currently 3:26 pm and Nemuri’s work starts at 6:30 pm, you were squirming in your seat as Nemuri drives you both there. You were wearing your most comfortable clothes you could wear a huge jacket that reaches halfway to your knees, leggings and running shoes while Nemuri was wearing a tight fitting dark purple dress that was way to high up her thighs. You already knew what you chose to work at as Ryukyu explained to you back at the house, but then again you have to be accepted into working here but knowing Nemuri she wouldn't hesitate to pull some strings to make them accept you applying there.

‘A stripper club?! I though Nemuri works for a lingerie model... BUT A STRIPPER?! I would've never guess that if Ryukyu did not tell me this..’,you rubbed your arms as you looked at the road ahead of you. Nemuri looks at you through the rear mirror seeing you were feeling unsure,”Hey, were just checking out the place I'm not actually letting you work there right away, we’ll basically give you a tour of the building and at the end of that tour you have to make a decision that your either want to work there full-time or just keep it as an option. But you have like less than a week to decided cause Prez says that there are a lot of people coming in seeing if they could work there, I'm friends with everyone in the building so if anyone tries to get to touchy with you they have to get through me first, got all that?”.

You looked at Nemuri with a small smile not feeling nervous anymore,”So um.. whats it like being a stripper?”, you asked feeling curious. Nemuri grins at your question,”Weellll its kinda fun and art in a way, it also lets me be myself, let out my true self-- not that I cant outside but this place allows me to get down and get wild! And the crowds cheering as well get me going and I do get down and dirty when someone offers it--- cant say no to that and the money as well”, she laughs.

You sat there laughing nervously and looked at the window,’I don't mind working here well not forever but I'd like to just try it out, after all I still have to look for an actual job. Maybe I should just work for an animation studio?’, your mind began to wonder what jobs you should apply at next since the office life just wasn't for you. You were kind of sad cause the people that surrounded you were super sweet and kind-- except that one person-- you’ll miss Shino, Ryuko, Tomoko as well as Yawara (The Pussy cats real names)

But you could always keep in touch with them after all they literally asked you on a hangout this weekend to comfort you, you agreed to it and can't wait to meet them once this week it over and you finally have a grasp of the job you’ll now be working in which in your case you were quite excited as you don’t know how big of a difference being a waitress in a stripper clubs differs from a waitress in cafe. Your legs were jumping in excitement as you pass the third stop light, you could see a building that has all kinds of lights and expensive--like hella expensive-- a few cars parks in the front as well as moving lights,’I-is this how stripper clubs look like?! This place is almost packed and its not even 6:30 pm yet.. .’,You looked at Nemuri with a confused expression.

Nemuri laughs at you as she turns her car to the back part of the building-- that has three floors??-- where workers could park there car there,”We’re here y/n, try not stay close to me this place is quite big and I don’t really want to lose sight of you”, Nemuri easy has she turns off the engine and got out the car and you followed as well. You pulled on your jacket sleeve as you wait for Nemuri while she get her gym bag where she had all her clothes and all her other stuff. She closed her trunk and walked to my side with her gym bag slung on her left arm,”You ready? You know once you walk inside its a whole new world and scene for you, I’m just giving you a tour along with the prez. as well as the rules. You won't start working here unless you sign the papers”, she says as she walks beside you to the back entrance.

You gave her a soft nod as she opens the door to you, as soon as she opened the door a blast of sexy music can be heard-- but a bit muffled-- and the lighting was so dark you could barely see anything if it wasn't for the floor lightings that could guide you,’What the heck-- why is it so DARK HERE?! To be honest Nemuri I'm not sure if I'm in the right place’, you internally cried as you walked right behind her. You made sure to grab the lose sling of her gym bag as to not get lost as waiters and waitresses scamper around to make sure the place was spotless before it opens its doors to the rich people, each of them had this two things around their thighs--wait a second is that ARE THEY CARRYING TWO HUGE ALCHOL BOTTLES?!-- and are those the uniforms you’ll be wearing- this is getting too much.

Your whole body quivered,’Not only this whole place is super- and I mean super expensive looking-- all the people serving here are wearing those kinds or clothes’,You observed the servers running around trying to get ready some were even strong enough to get change at the corner, your guessing they came in late and didn't want their manager to scold them. From what you’ve observed there were some that decided to wear their own outfit with their server badge of course but majority wore the clubs uniforms. “Hey.. Nemuri are we almost there yet?”, you looked at her as you guys were going up the huge stairs to the second floor.

Th structure of the building was honestly new to you, from what you could observe, it has three floors counting the ground floor-- which had a Two small pole stages levelled on each side of the huge pole stage that had a DJ stationed just behind the huge stage. Surrounding the stages had lounges and seating areas for people to watch the performers from, there were railings on the 2nd and 3rd floors to watch the stages on the first floor from above, there were also seats that curved around a super small stage in the center of it,”We’re almost their no need to be nervous! Everyones super nice here”, you laughed nervously,’I’m basically the odd one out here in this place-- Oh please tell me I can wear legging and not shorts to work, PLEASE’,you prayed silently.

You finally reached the managers room at last, you shuffled nervously on you spot as you looked at Nemuri,”Go inside, I'll meet you in her in a second I have to change into my outfit”, she pats your head softly as she walks to the opposite direction. You looked at the sign on top of door ‘Dancers only’ you sighed heavily,”Figures... well here goes nothing.. ..”, you knocked on the door trice and you heard a faint ‘Come in!’, you slowly turned the knob and peaked at the door meekly.

---

You poked your head out as look inside the room, before you were three people and two of them were in stripper outfits,’I interrupted something didn’t I... GWAHH NEMURI SAVE ME!!!’, you cried internally as the man gestured for you to come inside. You swallowed and stepped inside and closed the door behind you and walked in front of the table,’Don’t look at them, don’t look at them, dont look at them-- will he start or do I have to’, luckily you didn’t have to start the conversation as the-- cute small bear?-- started it for you. “A pleasure to meet you! I’m guessing your’re the new waitress that Nemuri told over the phone, I was just talking to this two about something but I will continue that later seeing that you are here now!”, the manager? jumped down the chair and walked around the huge table to you.

‘Oh my god-- SO CUTE!!! THIS IS THE MANAGER THAT OWNS THE PLACE?!’, you blushed at this, you were cooing how cute the manager was. You held both of your hands on you chest,“N-nice to meet-- YOUUuu?!”, you flinched when someone blew on your left ear. You covered your left ear as you looked the person,”Hello, precious listener”, the person grinned as he looked at you with a playful expression. The person has long silky yellow hair that framed his looks and is wearing a black mesh crop top, yellow tinted glasses, some necklaces, yellow shorts and black boots. You walked backwards only to land against someones chest, the said person held your shoulders softy with his large calloused hands which might be from dancing on the pole.

“Don’t scare her too much Hizashi..”, you flinched at the husky voice behind you--you didn’t know you’d be would be working with a bunch of handsome men-- ‘I don’t know if I should be happy or scared at this.. Nemuri please save me huhuh’, the man that was behind you was wearing a grey mesh top, black leather fingerless gloves, black cargo pants thats tucked in his black combat boots, a few ear piercings and silver chains around his neck. You quickly muttered a ‘Sorry’ and pulled onto your hoodie to hide your flustered state,’NEMURI WHERE ARE YOU HUHUHUHUHUH’, you internally cried. The prez laughed at your flustered self,”Sorry about them! The one who blew on your ear is Hizashi, his stage name is Present Mic and this other fellow here is Aizawa, Eraserhead is his stage name”, the prez says as he taps your leg.

You peaked out from your hoodie to look down at him, he smiles softy,”Your quite shy but thats okay!I can tell your’re going to be a breath of fresh air here at the UA club!”, he laughs softly and all you could do was nod softly, the two strippers in room the can agree to that.

#sweetangel

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alukaforyou · 5 years ago

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and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

#.txt

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peggysousfan · 5 years ago

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Agent Carter An Au Series

Done with chapter 14!!! Enjoy!!!:)

Daniel's POV:

Its still dark when I wake up in the morning, not that I got much sleep. I got home late last night working on the stark case, when I heard the baby screaming. I knocked on Peg's door but she didn't answer. I knocked again, and still nothing. I put my ear to the door and I hear a woman crying. Oh no, somethings wrong. I open the door and the crying is much louder. I see Peggy clutching Steph to her chest as if shes holding on for dear life.

"Peg!" I run, or crutch, as fast as I can, get down on my knee, and hold her cheek in my hands. I get her to look at me, and her face is red and her eyes are puffy. "Peggy whats wro-" I stop mid question when i look at the bed. Colleen's been shot. "Oh my God..." As I say this, Peggy squeezes her eyes shut and hugs Steph tighter, both crying their hearts out. Oh Peg....I stand up and hold her close as she cries. What the hell happened here? I look around and notice things thrown on the floor, broken, and a busted out window. Great... I take Peggy by the arms and take them both home with me. When we get there I lead them to the bedroom and they both fall fast asleep. Once I'm sure they do, I head downstairs and call the police. Something needed to be done about the body; and I know Peg won't want to deal with it. Before they get here, I head into the apartment and grab some of Peggy's thing. Or at least, I think they're hers. Before I leave I look out the window, but theres no body, Dammit. When the police get here, I tell them what I know, which isn't much, and I head home while they take Colleen.

That was four hours ago, and with Peg and the baby in my room, I slept on the couch. When I finally get up, I get my crutch and go to the room to check on Peggy. Shes fast asleep.I can't help but watch for a few minutes, shes so peaceful. Before I leave, Peggy starts to stir. It looks like shes having a nightmare. I sit on the edge of the bed and smooth out her hair, trying to calm her down. It works, but what I didn't expect her to lay on my chest. Uhmm....I try to move away, but shes starting to wake up.

"Mmmhh. Daniel?"

"Hey." I get her off of my chest and she starts to sit up. "You okay? Looked like you were having a bad dream." She rubs the sleep from her eyes, and looks at the wall.

"What time is it?" She sits up half way and reaches for Steph.

"Uh... I'm not sure. Its early though. The sun isn't even out yet." She hums in response and cuddles with the baby. "Peg." She looks at me, half awake. "Are you okay?" I ask again. She starts to shake her her, but then nods. "Well that didn't sound too sure..." I say gently. She gives a small, sad laugh, and it starts to turn into a sob. "Peg..." She shakes her head more insistently and starts crying. I reach my left arm over her shoulders and hold her as she leans closer. She kept saying it was her fault, but I know thats not true, and I tell her that.

"No, Daniel, I-." She takes a deep breath. "Not only is Colleen dead, but... He almost shot Stephanie! I almost lost her too!!" Oh no... I sit closer to her and hold her tighter. God this is so wrong, what is wrong with the world?

"Hey..." I lift up her chin and she looks at me. "Its not your fault, none of this is. You did what you had too to protect yourself and your kid. Thats what matters. Shes alive and healthy, Peg. Thats the most important thing." A few more tears slip away as she bites her lip and nods her head. She throws an arm around my neck and holds on tight. God shes been through so much...I'm glad I can at least be some sort of comfort. After a while she pulls away, but only a little.

"I should, uhm, head back. Grab some things and get ready for work."

"You can do that here, you don't have to go over there right away. I already grabbed some of your stuff, most everything's already been taken care of." She looks confused at first and then a light flicks over her head.

"Daniel.... Daniel you didn't," She doesn't sound angry, if anything she sounds slightly relieved.

"I called the police after you fell asleep. But I figured... you might not want to go back there right now, what with it so fresh in your mind. Thats why I grabbed some of your things." I point over to the corner of the room with my free hand, and she looks and gives a small smile.

"Thank you, I-... I don't know what I'd do with out you. You're too kind." I smile back at her and it feels like time is frozen. I give her shoulders a squeeze, and she smiles. It isn't until now that I realize how close we are. Without realizing it, I lean in, and so does she. Our foreheads meet and cheeks brush together. Is this is real? Yeah. Its real.... We pull back slightly and look the other in the eyes, as if there was an unspoken question in the air. Leaning back in, faster this time, our noses touch and our breaths are ragged. I have almost no control left. Our lips start to brush together as she places one hand in my hair. Closer and closer and we almost meet completely... until Steph starts to fuss. We both sigh and give a small laugh. Shit. She leans back and I do the same. I clear my throat and let go of her shoulders.

"She must be hungry." We lock eyes again, and it feels so calming. "I should probably go back.T-To our flat. I need to shower and-" She trails off and looks down at the baby.

"My showers right over there, and I already grabbed her bassinet and diaper bag." Her eyes widen for a moment and then she relaxes.

"Thank you." I nod and walk away. I can't believe that almost happened! Just don't mention it, Daniel, and everything will be fine. I hope...

Peggy's POV:

We almost kissed! Oh my God, we almost...Well was that considered kiss? We didn't fully make contact, but... Oh bloody hell Steph! I love my daughter with all of my heart, but she has the worst timing known to man. I feed her and she settles down. I lay her in the 'bassinet' and pop in the shower. Thankfully the soap is unscented. If I were to appear at work smelling like a man I would be harassed more than usual. I leave the bathroom and look through what Daniel brought. A few dresses, blouses, and skirts. I grab the blue dress with red strips on the abdomen and change. I grab poppet and leave the bedroom. When I do I see that Daniel's left a note 'Already left for the office, see you there -DS'. I hold the note to my lips and smile to myself at the thought of him. Before heading to the office, I call Jarvis and we meet at the Automat.

"I'm sorry to appear callus, but is there any way it can be traced back to you?" He sits in the booth behind me as we talk, that way we won't draw unwanted attention to ourselves.

"My name wasn't on the lease."

"Did she have any family?"

"She lost her brother at water canal, and her sister and her children live in Jersey. I had only known her for a year little over a year. I needed a place to stay and I didn't know anyone. She didn't mind at all that I didn't want my name to the flat." Its silent for a while and I say the thing thats been on my mind all night. "I seem to have a habit of loosing people closest to me. But, perhaps loosing is too kind a word. I get them killed." I look over at Steph and shes playing with a small napkin. How on earth did she get that?

"Ms. Carter."

"When Howard cam to see me, I was damn happy to see him. I'd been wallowing in it since the war. Wondering why no one would give Agent Peggy Carter a shot,so I grabbed the chance. And I mucked it up. And now Colleen is dead, because of me." I wipe away a small tear and take a cloth from Jarvis.

"Ms. Carter, I've read your war record. You are a credit to your profession, and if the men in your own office can't see that then they're fools. You were trying to do something good,and I believe you accomplished it. "

"But was it worth it?"

"I fear we may not truly know that until the job is done." I breath a deep sigh and leave, and he follows. We go to a laboratory to have the nitramene looked at and we learn that it contains gamma rays. The only factories that could house such technology is Roxxon refinery. Because the bombs have gamma rays I'll be able to find the supply of them. Jarvis and I leave and I head to work.

"Take good care of her."I say as I hand her over.

"Of course. Ana is always thrilled to have her."

When I get to the office everything is as normal. Everyone is still searching for Howard and is distracted. I use this to my advantage and slip away to the file room. The box with everything from Project Rebirth is in this SSR office, and in that box is a Gamma Ray detector I need. When I open it, a file is on top, and theres a photo of Steve; pre-serum Steve. Back when I thought he was a good man. It was cute, the way he tried to talk and stuttered around woman. And how he wanted to wait for the right person to dance with, but I tried to make it very clear that I was not that person; and yet he still didn't understand. I gave no consent to be with him, I remember nothing from that night, and he knew I was drunk, and yet... here we are. I have a child by a man I was never in love with, all because he couldn't take a hint and get over his obsession. Some men need to learn that just because a woman is kind to you and understands your struggles, it doesn't mean she wants in your bloody trousers. Idiot. As i look at the photo I hear a thud. Looking up, I see Daniel.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Its fine. I can assure you I don't do this often." He must sense my distress and anger, because when I put down the photo. He looks around to see if anyone else is here and then starts to speak.

"Ya know, after I got hit. In the field hospital, the chapeline asked me if there was anyone I wanted to send my effects to, ya know, if the worst happened. And I told him I thought my dad didn't think my dad had much use for 2 pair of green socks and an old paper bag." I walk around the table and lean against it, listening to Daniels story. "Let him remember my life, ya know. Well I didn't die, which was inconvenient." He looks away from me momentarily. "Because he had already cleared out my footlocker, I'm still missing half my stuff...I can't find my leg anywhere." I tilt my head at him and laugh. I hope no one upstairs can hear. He starts to walk away, but I stop him.

"Daniel." He stops and I each for his hand and squeeze it. "You're one of the lucky ones." He smiles at me and walks away. Although he has spoken of his leg before, its always been restricted and hushed; never spoken loudly or detailed. But of course he laughs it off and uses it to make me feel better. I walk back around the table, take the photo and the detector, place the box back, and leave. One day Steph will want to know what her father looked like, and now she can. She'll see the man behind the shield; the man I thought was kind. When shes old enough, I'll tell her the truth, but for now, I want her to keep her innocence and the little knowledge of the man her father.

As the day turns to night, and I leave the office, Jarvis is my ride and we go to Roxxon. I give Jarvis a radio for emergencies before I exit the car. When there I find the men that have been making Howard's bombs. Jarvis uses his radio, and I'm compromised. I use a flash and momentarily blink the first man, and then I chance the second. I chase him down and shoot at his feet.

"Thats far enough!" Hes stops right in front of a truck; a milk truck filled with nitramene. Oh my lord... "I wouldn't." I say. He takes a device from his pocket and holds it to his throat. He has the same scar as the man that killed Colleen.

"You don't want to fire again."

"Who are you!" I keep my gun pointed at him.

"I don't have a name anymore. I'm an independent business man trying to make my mark in the world."

"By murdering people?"

"I don't murder people. I just sell to people who do."

"And what about your friend?" He looks confused. "Green suit. Scar on his throat like yours?" He visibly tenses and is frightened.

"Hes not my friend,"

"Tell me his name, or so help me God, I'll blow us both to Hell!"

"He doesn't have a name any more ,and if hes here we're both dead any way." He throws a nitromene bomb on the ground. "Thirty seconds agent." Bastard. I run through the factory and radio Jarvis to bring the car around., then continue to scream for him to keep driving. I run and run and then see the car. I leap onto the roof and get in through the window. The bomb goes off and the blast tries to bring us in with it, luckily it doesn't. The entire building, gone.

"It would seem it works." Thats one word for it. I can't believe Howard invited something this destructive. We look at eachother, both in disbelief. We have to stop this. As we get into the car, he takes me to see Stephanie, and what a relief it is to see her after today. He drops us off at the apartment complex and we enter ours. Almost everything is cleaned out. We have a few days to stay, what without the owner knowing. I still can't believe shes gone. Now we have to find someone else to live, somewhere cheap enough in New York; as if the prices aren't outrageous enough. I nurse poppet and then lay her down so I can shower. My clothes smell like smoke from the explosion. ONce I'm out, I pick up my daughter.

"Peg?" I turned around and see Daniel. Oh no. Once we move we won't be able to see each other everyday; at this thought my heart sinks. "What are you doin' in here?"

"Well. We have a few days to bunker down here until the owner of the building finds us. I was thinking we could stay here until I find a new flat."

"Is that such a good idea? What if he finds you sooner than that? Plus, the window is still busted. What if, whoever, broke in and attacked decides to do it again," I frown, dammit he has a point. I sit on the bed and sigh.

"What am I to do then? I have nowhere else to go." He stops and thinks for a few moments, then smiles; but then it fades into embarassment. "What?" He glances at me, and then away. "Daniel, what is it?"

"Nothin' it was stupid." I look at him and raise a brow; then he caves "I-I was just.. uh.. thinking...maybe, ya know, y-you could..."He shakes his head.

"Well spit out man." I laugh, and then he does.

"You can stay with me, that is, until you find a place." He looks down at the ground, not meeting my eyes. I bite my lip and wonder.

"What will society say? A man and a woman living in the same apartment unmarried." I tease. He looks up at me, shocked. As if he were a deer in headlights. I can't help but burst into laughter. "I'm only teasing you, Daniel." He sighs in relief. "I don't want to intrude. I-"

"You won't be intruding,Peg. I'm offering." I look him in the eye and see nothing but sincerity. I stand up and walk over to him,and then Steph reaches out. He takes her in his hand and I kiss his cheek, slowly. Our eyes meet and the quiet isn't unpleasant, its sweet.

"Thank you." He nods his head and I walk with him to his door. As we enter and make ourselves at home, it feels familiar; it feels right. We make and eat dinner together, he changes Steph's nappy, we take turns reading to her while listening to the radio; and it all feels perfect. I wish every night would be like this. All too soon its time for bed, poppet and I go to the bedroom and sleep. When we wake, Daniel left a note, same as yesterday. I smile and take the babe to the Automat to meet up with Jarvis. I tell him about Leviathan and he says he'll see what he can find. I plan on infiltrating the Daisy Clove milk company to find the truck full of explosives. When Jarvis leaves I notice that oaf of a rude man harassing Angie again. He insults the food and slaps her bum. Now thats quite enough. I get up from my seat and approach him.

"I understand you're not happy with your meal," I say, as I grab a fork from the table.

"You work here?"

"Unfortunately no." I plunge the fork into his side, and he looses his breath.

"Just so we're clear, this is pressed into your bronchial artery, keep smiling." He groans from pain.

"Once you start to bleed, you'll loose consciousness in fifteen seconds and you'll die in ninety unless someone comes to your aid. Now given your recent behavior, how likely do you think that is to occur? Now to prevent this not so unfortunate event from occurring, I suggest you find a new place to eat. Do we understand each other?" He nods his head and I start to let go, then reapply it. "Oh, one more thing. Tip generously." I put the fork back on the table and return to my booth to pick up my daughter. As we leave, I see the man pulling several dollars from his wallet for Angie. Now that is how you treat a lady...

#peggysous #peggy carter #daniel sousa #Peggy x Daniel #agent carter #agent carter series #au fanfic #fanfiction

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ask-rogertaylor · 6 years ago

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((Here’s another fic. This time the story of when Roger first realised he had feelings for Brian and also had his first gay crisis—and then that one time they kissed and roger freaked the fuck out. This started as a ficlet but I’m sappy and can’t write my thoughts in a concise way .. so have pining sad roger ,, the ending is kinda sad ,, but just keep in mind that Rog and Bri end up together eventually!! Featuring @ask-brian-may and @ask-rogerina! It also has John, Jo, Freddie, Jamie and Melina very briefly!!))

Roger feels light.

It’s the buzz of the alcohol. It’s why he likes the stuff so much. Roger feels heavy most of the time. He doesn’t talk about it, and nobody really knows about it, so he relieves himself of that burden as often as he can. Because feeling light is a relief.

His head is also pretty light. Nothing really seems to be in focus right now. He doesn’t even think he’s moving himself, it’s mostly Brian dragging and guiding him along up the pathway leading into his and Rogerina’s place. The hand Brian has supporting Roger’s waist is very warm, but also cooling in a weird sense Roger can’t explain.

“M’sorry,” Roger slurs, he’s embarrassed, a little. Brian shouldn’t have to be dealing with the consequences of his shitty coping mechanism.

Brian smiles softly, “For what, Rog?

“This. I reek, I’m a mess, and you should be at home right now,” Roger explains, taking in the sweet scent of Brian’s cologne. He really is a stark contrast in comparison to Brian in this moment.

“Rog. I like being with you. Besides, you were right, I did need an excuse to show off my new clogs tonight,” Brian chuckles lightheartedly, but the smile he gives him is genuine and true. Roger can’t help but smile back. He probably looks goofy in his woozy state, but he can’t help himself.

“I had a fun night, Rog. Don’t worry about it. It’s actually kinda funny to see you like this. More blackmail material for me. I would ask you if you had one too, but I can tell you did,” Brian jokes.

Roger let’s out a hybrid of a giggle and a chortle, far too pleased for his own good. Brian makes him feel like he’s on a constant high. He likes being around Brian. He just knows with Brian. He knows this is a companion he’s made for life. And he’s happy to have him in his life.

He looks up at Brian, in this astounding stolen moment. He can see his profile, beautifully framed and lit by the soft moonlight above them. His eyes are warm. His skin is soft. Then he looks over at Roger with the kindest smile and his eyes twinkle with this softness and watchfulness. Roger thanks the universe, and he knows he’s on borrowed time, and yet the universe gave him this one spectacular moment, and he praises it.

And everything else seems to fade and all Roger can see is Brian.

His vision hazes into this rose colour. Flowers are blooming. His heart starts to race. He feels chilled but also very warm. There’s a ringing in his ears. He feels increasingly light. He feels like he’s falling.

Brian knocks gently on the door, and Rogerina opens up within a minute.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Rogi, but your idiot brother here forgot his keys and uh..is slightly..very intoxicated,” Brian explains sheepishly.

She smiles amusedly at her own brother, “That’s alright, darling. I wasn’t asleep anyway. C’mon in, I would help you, but he’s gross.”

Roger flips her off—at least tries to, he’s far too drowsy to actually recognise if he has or not.

Brian dumps him onto the seat by the window, a chuckle escaping him as Roger flopped down like some rag doll. He shook his head and tutted fondly.

“..Well..I mustn’t stay too long. It is late. ..so uh..just—“

“—aspirin and a glass of water by his bed. Make sure he falls asleep on his side. A bucket too. Which is super gross to think about,” Rogerina grimaces.

“You’re a dear, Rogi. You really are. Well..goodbye, see you soon,” Brian announces, but looks over at Roger and comes closer to him, so they are at eye level. He rests a hand on his shoulder, and it’s warm. It also tingles. Roger smiles sloppily at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Rog. Sleep well,” Brian says sweetly, his eyes warm and inviting. It makes Roger feel at home.

Roger watches him as he leaves, and he shifts over to watch the window, his eyes following him as he fades away into the night. When he walks it’s like he leaves a trail of stardust behind him. He’s absolutely magical and Roger can’t keep his eyes off of him. He takes his breath away.

He doesn’t even notice the stupid smile on his face.

“Jesus, you’re like in love with him,” Rogerina jokes casually, as she picks up the coat he’s dropped on the ground and hangs it up on the rack.

Roger’s heart drops and his chest is cold. He feels so heavy and his ears are ringing. The pulsating in his heart gets louder and louder and his hands are clammy and he feels absolutely empty. He doesn’t even remember where he is anymore.

Fuck, he’s in love with Brian.

It’s a sinking feeling that pulls him down to the ground. It takes him over almost completely.

Roger’s scarily light. He pushes himself to his feet, and he stumbles, the world is collapsing in on him and he can’t breathe.

As he ravages up the stairs like he struggling through some sort of rainforest, he feels his heart rate begin to pick up as his head pounds and the lights start to flicker and the ringing of his ears gets too much, he’s so light, so light, until he’s so heavy and he’s falling against his bed and he’s sobbing. He’s crying so hard and he can’t even contain himself, he’s completely lost control, the image of himself he has carefully created for the world to see crumbles into dust. Just like that.

He cries and he cries because he is not meant to feel like this. This wasn’t allowed. His father would be so angry if he found out he had fallen in love with a man. He cries because he knows he cannot possibly have Brian. It hurts so much and it feels like he’s on fire and he doesn’t know how to put it out.

He tries to quiet himself down, stifle the sounds into the fabric of his pillow, for the sake of his sister. Even now he doesn’t want to bother her, not when this is a struggle he should be going through alone.

But his sister would follow him anywhere, and he hears his door creak open. He tries his absolute hardest to silence him.

“..Rog..” Rogerina coos at him gently.

He makes a folly attempt to appear asleep, but a pathetic sniffle ruins his endeavor.

She sighs and hops onto his bed, and lays next to him, and pulls him close for a hug, and it’s just that push for the dam to break.

“I.. love him,” Roger sobs violently into her chest, shrinking into her hold on him to try and make himself as small as he feels. He grabs on to her like a lifeline, shaking ferociously, in fear that if he lets go he’ll never stop falling.

Rogerina offers him a sad smile, “I know. And it’s okay. It’s okay, Rog, it’s okay to feel like this.”

“But it’s not,” He whimpers.

“It is, it absolutely is, Rog — it’s just love. It’s just love.”

Roger doesn’t say anything at that, and merely moves in closer, “I’m scared.”

“I know. And I’m here. I understand,” She whispers quietly.

She doesn’t leave him for a second that night.

Months later, maybe, and Roger is still falling.

It still feels sickeningly light to the stomach at times, and sometimes it makes his heart throb, but he’s learned to numb it and push it to the back of his mind where everything else is. He’s learned to control himself, and he’s painstakingly build up these walls around himself to keep himself from hurting too bad.

But there are still these moments where Brian makes it so difficult. Where he unknowingly swings a hammer and chips down at the walls he’s built for himself.

Moments like today.

Brian looks at the skies above and watches the stars shine.

Roger looks at his own star. But he’s on the ground with him.

They’re both buzzing. They’ve both had one too many. They’re piss drunk. It’s cold outside but they’re both still too warm.

He takes a long drag of the cigarette he’s smoking, and he’s surprisingly silent. He’s not like this. He’s loud and talkative but with Brian he just wants to soak everything in. When it’s all he can get.

“Look, I can see the corvus constellation..” Brian says softly, and when he speaks his eyes are so full of light and there’s that dumb smile of his and Roger can’t help his own smile.

He looks at him longingly. God how he wants him. Roger shifts uncomfortably, knowing full well that he’s just torturing himself, but how addictive the pain was.

But theres something that draws him to Brian. The whole universe is telling him to do this, like his destiny calls for it. And he knows it’s impossible. It’s not possible, they are too different on a molecular level. This is not how the story goes.

But when Brian turns over to look at him his eyes are so warm and those lips look so inviting, Roger collides with him and suddenly a star is born.

A whole new plane of existence opens up, and Roger feels like he’s exploring a whole new galaxy, everything is so exciting and so beautiful and he watches as planets collide and leave spacedust in its wake. Brian’s lips against his feel like they were always meant to be there, and he feels limitless.

But when he pulls away he is crushed by the gravity of what has happened, and it breaks his soul once he’s realises what he’s done. He has made a horrible landing back to reality and once he’s experienced the magic he just has everything is so much worse now.

Roger can’t breathe, “Bri.. I’m sorry, I—“

He can’t read Brian at all.

“I.. I need to go,” Roger says hurriedly, pushing himself off of his feet.

“Wait, Rog—“ Brian tries, only now returning to reality.

But Roger’s too far gone; and he runs like he’s never ran before. He doesn’t know where he’s going but at this stage he doesn’t care, he just can’t face him anymore, and in his drunken stupor he’s completely aimless.

All he can feel is the adrenaline pumping through his system and then suddenly he’s stuck.

And he just cries.

Until he hears a familiar voice.

“..Roger..?”

Jamie examines him, “..What are you.. doing.. in my rose bush?”

“I kissed Brian,” Roger slurs, still sobbing incoherently.

“Oh, sweetheart..” She coos softly.

“Who the hell is that in our rose bush?” Melina asks.

“A dumbass,” Roger sobs.

The two women help him release himself from the tangles of the bush, and once that’s done they drag him into their house, where they promptly drop him onto their couch.

“I’m sorry,” He cries pathetically.

Jamie smiles sympathetically, taking a seat next to him, “It’s okay.. darling.. just.. try and rest, okay?”

And the two of them talk to him for hours until he passes out.

Roger can’t face reality anymore. Everything’s too broken. Everything’s in ruins.

He tells Freddie over text that he’s caught the flu, and that he would just be complaining about Roger’s constant display of symptoms, and that he really doesn’t want to hear Freddie’s yapping. He tells John over the phone to not come visit him, because he doesn’t want his favourite bass player catching this too. And when Johanna tries and visits, he puts on a smile and tells her that he’s fine, that he just needs to get some sleep and he’ll be better soon.

But he doesn’t talk to Brian at all.

He doesn’t talk to him for three days.

He ignores all of his texts. There are hundreds of them at this stage and he doesn’t open one. And all of his calls. He ignores every single one. He ignores his worried knocking at the door, and the stones being thrown at his window. He locks the door when Rogerina lets Brian into the house. He just can’t face him. It’s too hard. It hurts too much.

He can’t even get out of bed.

And eventually he does attempt conversation with Brian again. But it’s empty and almost robotic. It’s rehearsed and emotionless. It’s like they’re complete strangers. Everything is worse now and Roger wishes it could return to how it used to be but he’s ruined it all. It’s just not the same.

He can’t face the music.

*** “God, Roggie — you’re in that jumper,” Rogerina sighs deeply.

Roger raises and eyebrow unamusedly, he’s wearing his glasses for once, gesturing towards a clearly well worn grey The Who jumper, which is also miles too large for him, “This? And? Your problem?”

Rogerina looks exasperated, “You always wear that when you’re sad and recluse. Last time you had that thing on you didn’t leave the house for a week! And last time you didn’t have friends.”

Roger is clearly unamused at that.

“Oh, come on, I’m being honest! Take it off and put on some jeans, get out of the house! And eat something, please! Talk to Brian! Fuck, talk to anyone! Just.. get out of here, okay?”

Roger is clearly unaffected by her pleads and merely sits himself on the kitchen table, looking completely null and void.

She softens, sighing and sitting herself next to him. He looks completely miserable. There’s no light in his usually sparkling eyes, he’s a ghostly pale, and he’s clearly been crying, and his hair is a mess. He’s such a stark contrast to the bubbly and energetic Roger that she’s grown to know.

She takes his hands in hers, wrapping her fingers around his, firmly, but in a way that shows that she isn’t letting him go. She strokes his hands gently. Her gaze is just as firm, and watchful, her focus is all on him. He struggles to look at her.

“..Roger.. please, love.. I know you’re hurting. And it breaks my heart, and if you really can’t have Brian.. would you really rather not have him in your life at all..? Is this worth completely losing him, dear? Because I don’t think it is. Do you remember who you were before you met him?”

Roger blinks, and slowly removes his glasses as he feels tears well up in his eyes. He bites harshly on his lips to prevent the cascading of them, and thinks about it. He doesn’t like the man he was before Brian. In fact, he’s a distant memory, a memory he doesn’t quite want to return to.

Roger thinks about it. And when he tries to place himself in his own head from those years ago, he only remembers loneliness. And fear. And so much rage. So much hatred. He tries to pinpoint the moment those feelings had begun to fade away, and all he can hear in his fucking head is Brian talking about constellations.

He doesn’t even understand them. But the emptiness is replaced by a sense of wholesomeness. He spent his teenage nights with a fucking radio as his best friend, longing and wishing to all the deities out there to give him a best friend, someone who he knew he could tell anything to, someone he could just feel safe with. And he has it now. And Roger feels so dumb for not appreciating that enough. He’s come so far he’s forgotten where he’s come from.

God, he can’t lose Brian because a life without him is so empty. It’s so dark. And it’s cold. And Roger hates the winter.

He feels so selfish and so ashamed of himself in this moment, because how did he let himself become so greedy? Why was he wanting more, when Brian was more than he ever deserved to begin with, how did he let himself get so entitled? He’s forgotten his place, but fuck does it still hurt so, so much.

God, he wants him so bad. And he knows he can’t. But he can’t lose all of this over his own selfishness. He has to be better than that.

That’s enough, Roger. That’s enough now.

And is face crumples and he bursts into tears, unable to contain the pathetic noises he’s making, he tries to angle his face away from his sister, crying into his hands because dammit he’s still got his pride.

But she’s his darling sister and she sees past his bullshit and pulls him into her own touch, and holds him close, kissing him on the temples as he sobs his heart out.

“It’s alright, Rog.. it’s alright,” she tries to assure him as he cries into her chest.

“Fuck.. then why does it feel like nothing will be alright ever again?” He whimpers weakly. It feels like every star in the sky has been put out. It feels like someone has dismantled the sun and packed it away. He desperately wishes to return to a few days ago before he’s royally fucked up, but nothing is the same now. The walls have already caved in and he’s surrounded by its ruins. He can attempt and build over it but the damage has been done. History cannot be erased.

He wishes he could have tamed his heart. Told it to not yearn for what it can’t have. He doesn’t remember where he lost his way and thought that he could even have something this good. What was he expecting? He was not one of these people who got good things like this. He was born in filth. And he was to live in it. That good life was not made for him, and having had a taste of it has made the void hurt so much more because now he knows what he could have but cannot.

God dammit, Brian May, did you have to be an angel?

He exhales shakily. He’s terrified. But he’s not giving up on his band. They will not fail because he was too reckless with his own heart. The band will not suffer because Roger was too stupid to control himself. He couldn’t live with that. His hand lingers over the door knob, and he kicks himself once and lets himself through the door.

Roger can feel the air in the room shift once he enters through the door, all eyes are on him. He inhales shakily, a chilling, buzzing sensation spreading across his chest. He turns over to see his band mates, and in particular, Brian, who’s mouth is agape.

Roger pushes aside all thoughts in his head, and tries to relax, and he puts on a show, he puts on a mischievous grin, “..Jesus, Bri, shut your fucking piehole before a fly comes and chokes you.”

And while he still feels like every wall has caved in, trying to replicate his old self brings him a sense of familiarity that does put him at ease. He knows he’s performing, but it’s all he’s ever known, and it feels like home.

Roger watches the wave of relief wash over Brian’s eyes, and he likes to think the walls are rebuilding themselves.

And Brian smiles that beautiful smile of his where it’s like the sun has decided to shine just for him, and Brian’s glowing and Roger can’t help but bask in that warmth.

Yes, Roger’s heart is aching but Brian is too good to loose.

It was but a silly fantasy to ever believe that Brian could ever be his, god, no way, not him, Roger is not meant to live in a pretty palace amongst royalty. He belongs to the stables and he is grateful he is even able to serve such royalty. His story just isn’t written that way.

Having Brian in his life at all is enough. It has to be enough.

Roger is still plagued by the sickly bittersweet fairytale of love and the idea of having Brian’s hand to hold, and the thought crushes him, and fuck Roger is hurting.

But he’d rather hurt every day of his life than not have him at all. A life without him is so empty and that life would absolutely shatter him. There is a magnetic connection, a molecular bond that draws and pulls him to Brian May, and he knows it’s going to hurt him, but he’s okay with it. He needs him in his life or the balance of the universe will tip against him. He needs him.

He’ll have to settle. And he thinks he’s okay with that.

He’ll make do. He always does.

#roger taylor #brian may #maylor #john deacon #freddie mercury #queen

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