#sighhh what am i talking about

[dizzybizz]

would love to see some bronseele! :3c

then may i offer some (very messy) bronseele??

[altruistic-meme]

one of these days i swear i will get over my anxiety. i must.

[e77y]

Just had the CRAZIEST missed connections moment? This guy I befriended for like an hour at a choir event just sent a message to my poetry club gc (I haven’t seen him at any club meetings) asking about collaborating with a lyricist (which we had talked about), so I texted him to see if it was the same guy and IT WAS??? And he was like “dude I’ve been searching for you” 😭😭 SO WILD

[confetti-critter]

The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I

[trans-yllz]

hmm feeling very weird abt my job lately.. I love the kids and it's a very easy and comfortable job for the kind of work that it is but I just always feel kept out of the loop on important stuff that everybody else seems to know. like the program I work with does summer camps and nobody told me that it might not happen this year until it was actually approved to happen. but all of my other coworkers were aware of this and nobody thought that maybe that was important info for me to have?? this itsnt even the only instance of me not being told work stuff that everyone else is made aware of

I'm also just so unclear about the rules? like for the kids? I've worked there since the beginning of the school year and there are Still things I don't know if the kids are allowed to do and not for lack of trying. this has bothered me from the beginning like. it doesn't make me appear to be a very responsible and reliable adult or authority figure to the kids when I'm always having to defer to my boss/co teacher about what is and is not allowed. I've literally never worked in an education/childcare environment where the rules were so unclear and flip floppy or where I have no input on classroom expectations

idk I just don't rlly feel like a respected or valued part of the team which is not only frustrating on a base level of like. that's not how you should feel at your job but also like... the kids pick up on that dynamic and take me and my instructions for them less seriously and I often don't feel listened to by them not because they're disrespectful kids or they don't like me but because they see me as less of an authority figure because thats how I'm treated by my boss. and it's like I Know that I'm not bad at my job. I am a good teacher and have literally never experienced this kind of thing before it's just so weird and uncomfortable

not to mention I always feel left out socially but like. that's true in most places. this sounds kind of pathetic lmao but I am used to not fitting in by now I've spent 21 years this way it would be silly of me to be surprised by it at this point but that doesn't make me feel any less lonely and down when I'm left out of social experiences everybody else gets to be a part of

these aren't recent things but I think w everything else going on in my life at the moment its all weighing on me more, and I definitely feel like my boss has been treating me differently and not as well ever since my mom died and I also get the impression that she's getting tired of me still not being able to do certain things because of my foot. idk it's like I came back from my week off after my mom passed and she's just been so much less friendly? I thought I was maybe making it up in my state of emotional distress but it's Only her being like this

but like... I don't want to make any dramatic career choices while going through a difficult part of my life personally and emotionally. I don't want to decide to not come back next year or work for a different summer camp while I'm Not Having A Good Time, but it's also hard to feel great at a job I don't feel like I fit in at while I'm also Not Having A Good Time. it's all made even harder by the fact that I rlly love my students and would feel sad not to see them again next year

[6mayhem]

but i would give anything for just one day spent in the life i had when i was 15. it may not have been perfect but i felt like i belonged somewhere. and i didn't worry so goddamn much about the big picture

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

i really was doing so well, i talked to my boyfriend all day yesterday and it was amazing and i wanna keep doing that but now the words are just not working how i want them to

when the socializing is no longer working

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 0.8k

this is part two of this series! find part one here

I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3

something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way you’d spoken about your relationship just not feeling ‘right’, the way she couldn’t really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesn’t know if she’s just overthinking everything. cat’s great. sure, she can’t see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons they’re together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she can’t shake the notion that now they’re settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isn’t ‘right’.

she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it. 

it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she can’t. the words won’t come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell something’s up. finally, when she straight up asks her why she’s being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.

of course, she feels awful. cat’s confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie can’t really express any answers to. she’s upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart it’s for the better.

it’s cemented when she’s walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.

she sees you properly again about a week later, when there’s an event in jackson. she really wasn’t planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she ‘can’t lock herself away forever.’

she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you haven’t actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping it’s not because you’ve found someone new.

she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.

after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. “what the hell are you doing?” she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. “you’re a single woman now, c’mon. get out there.”

ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “yeah, that's definitely my style.”

dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. “at least socialize. you’re all… weird. more than usual.”

“oh, shut up,” she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; you’re a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.

she doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, it’s similar to how it was before — the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels… new.

she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when it’s over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dina’s staying the night and you weren’t going to be alone anyway.

she just shrugs and smiles.

on the short walk back, dina’s chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you can’t really focus on anything she’s saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way you’re so, so aware of ellie’s presence. you’re walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.

she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.

“well… thanks. you’re free to go,” you joke after a small pause.

ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. “welcome.” she pauses, like she doesn’t want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesn’t. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. “see you later.”

dina yells out a ‘bye, ellie’, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. “get home safe. update me on the hangover.”

she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. “will do.”

you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.

[olderthannetfic]

People on fandomsecrets are really mad this week about other people reviewing fanfiction on goodreads and I don't want to litigate whether people should or shouldn't use that website in that manner right now, because the thing I'm actually wound up about is:

when someone asks why, they say "BECAUSE FANFIC ISN'T BOOKS!!!1!1!" as though this is supposed to explain everything, and when asked to elaborate they basically just find ways to say "fanfic, by virtue of being fanfic, is not a book, which is a different thing from fanfic, by virtue of books being books which are not fanfic" in more and more words without adding any coherent information.

Fanfic is a type of story. Books is a type of physical object. In the digital age there are now lots of professional ~official~ works of literature which have never once been published in a physical form. The comparison is meaningless to begin with and also doesn't answer the question.

Is this just a way of ignoring the goodreads thing entirely so they can stealth complain about the Wattpad thing where people used to that site call all stories "books"? Is that what's going on here?

--

Sighhh.

I know some people think Goodreads is for Real Books™, but a hell of a lot of what's on there is trashy romance novels. I myself am an author... of indie selfpub m/m mystery novels that are overtly fandom-adjacent in that BL way. Like most people in that space, I'm mainly focused on ebooks. Why are these things not fic? Well, because we sell them for money and we don't call them fic and because we've done a successful find and replace on the character names.

I think people have trouble articulating why fic is not books because they're used to thinking in terms of content, and they know perfectly well that Goodreads is full of content that might as well be from a fic.

But no, I don't think this is an anti-Wattpad thing at all.

What they're trying and failing to articulate is that fic is not a book by virtue of its author not intending it as one.

Fic authors, or at least ones adhering to a certain kind of AO3 culture, mean their work to be a not-for-profit gift for their fandom community. They often have a horror of it escaping containment to reach the eyeballs of outsiders.

Now, frankly, with the multitude of Goodreads users reviewing original omegaverse mpreg romance novels, I'm not sure that the site actually counts as outsiders, but that's how the people going "Fic is not books!" feel. It's a violation to bring fic there just like it's gross when a talk show host digs up some horny fan art to show to actors so they can have a good laugh at fandom's expense.

[themouthwasher]

sighhh, this is my selfship sideblog, for jimmy, i selfship with him

i guess you can call me LP, kinda like lp records lol, thatll be my nickname here, he/it pronouns, 18 years of age

taken by my beloved @swansuke (and jimmy too of course)

pleaseeeee check hidden theres some clarifications in there cause i know an account like this needs clarifications (plus a bit more random info bout me)

PLEASE READ THIS!!!

yes i know hes a horrible piece of shit, i dont support his actions, i hate him, but my brain says fuck all to morals when it comes to stuff thats fictional and decided "hey this guy seems silly, im gonna fall in love now!" whenever i think of lovey dovey stuff i try to place it in a sort of au where he didnt do... all of that. but yeah, theres really no "good" way to do it is there? i get most people will see it as wrong no matter which way i try to spin it so just please block and move on if you have a problem with it

not particularly proud of the fact i selfship with him (if you couldnt tell by how ive been talking about it so far) which is reason i made this blog, im not gonna admit this to anyone else so i might as well make an account where i can love him anonymously, honestly i have quite a bit of internal turmoil over loving him but thats to be expected when its... him. expect random bouts of "i fucking hate this man he makes me so mad /srs" immediately followed by doting on him cause my brain hates me being happy

tldr; i dont support his actions and lowkey hate the fact that i selfship with him, but hey i didnt chose to fall in love (if i could chose this would be a daisuke blog just sayin)

a bit about me

uhmm ive got autism, adhd, and bpd, and i feel like that definitely all shows itself in the way i act, i guess i act pretty unstable?? im also a very paranoid person, over like, everything, idk what causes it but its basically the stereotype of what people think of when they think of paranoia, i dunno i think that pmuch sums up whats wrong with me

i draw sometimes, though i doubt ill post anything, and i like music a lot, its my spintrest (but ill try to keep music talk to a minimum lest anyone manages to figure out who i am by my music taste) other than that uhhh i guess i like horror and bugs, and i bet youll never be able to guess what my favorite game is

no dni, if i have a problem with you ill block you and thats that, i guess im neutralship but really i do not careeeee, doubles can interact too! in fact please interact!! lets gush over jimmy together

tag list!!! woohoo!!! this post is also tagged with all of em so you (or more likely i) can easily click on them and get scrolling

"💚 i can fix this" is my rambling tag, check that out to see me talk about how much i unreasonably love that man

"💚 tuplars copilot" is for fanart reblogs

"💚 kills 99.9%" is my misc reblogs tag, whether it be non fanart posts about jimmy or completely unrelated posts that i reblogged with him in mind

"💚 polle says" is my ask tag, just any posts where im answering any asks i get

"💚 lp draws" is any of my art that i post, couldnt think of anything creative for this one

"💚 chatterbox" is me either talking to other people or posting stuff that doesnt really have anything to do with jimmy (and the tags not a reference, how revolutionary!)

"💚 i hope this hurts" is things reblogged/posted with hatred or anguish in my heart, i mightve actually got seething mad at jimmy seeing/making those posts but bleh whatever its jimmy so on the account it goes

"💚 not safe for tuplar" i think im so funny, i wont be rebloging anything too extreme and ill try to keep post like these to a minimum, but thats just there if you wanna mute it i guess

"💚 favorite posts" is self explanatory

[themarcidd]

HELLOO!!! Kinda new to tumblr but I came here in hope to find some friends and a community that I can rlly connect with

First just wanted to say that you guys can call me Marci/marcy!

It is NOT my real name and I don’t rlly plan on sharing it yet perhaps at all

Mmmlets see I play volleyball, soccer/futból, I do track, xc, and swim! Basically all sports but those are my main ones!! I am mixed black and Hispanic also! Soccer is my main sport and I play goalkeeper!! And d1… surprisingly.. I am only 5’2 haha..

I’ve been hyperfixated on Bungou Stray Dogs for probably 5ishyears now and am all caught up on the manga and have been with My Hero Academia for about half the time it’s existed! I say this because I’m pretty sure these anime’s/mangas will be the most I talk about or creat content of, especially on ao3 and my art!

Ao3 is themarcid btwwwww thank you so much please check it out! Disclaimer I am not the best author and English is not my first language and I am dyslexic😓 (formerly venusBaii)

But I have many other interest!!

Such as deltarune/ undertale, Twd, jjk, tbhk, hxh, haikyuu, kny, and greys anatomy!!

And sighhh Dazai is my fave.. giyuu is my fave… Carl is my fave..Aizawa is my fave. He’s actually my husband I love him so muchhh ughhhh and I love Kris from deltarune they’re so ughhh interesting I can’t wait for the next chapters ahhh

Thank you so much and please fill out this request form even if you don’t know me just any ideas or recommendations would be greatly appreciated and helpful to me!!

Thank you guys!! - Marci ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[gurokichi]

*kicks your door down* I’ll try to be consistent in coming back - sometimes I forget I exist and then disappear off the planet *puts up fingers in heart shape*

Anywho. Nope. We’ve never seen each other before. Never ever. (It was just one time I’m pretty sure-) STAYING ANONYMOUS UNTIL I WORK UP THE NERVE TO SAY HI *poses*

Anyway, Your Mortician is fine!! Promise not to squirm when I cut you open!! *Smiles and flashes scalpel*

- Your Mortician💉 (Who is very excited right now!!)

Sorry for taking so long to respond… I was eeping. Also, hey!!! You better not forget >:(

I will drag you back here myself if I have to, so no disappearing off of the planet! You sent an ask here, and now you are obligated to yap with me FOREVER, MWUAHAHAHAHA. Fell for my evil plan… and now you can’t leave!

Oh? Just one time? Hmm… well, I will do detective work later and see if I can get any suspects for who you are! I’m too tired to do that right now σ(^_^;) And that’s okay; you can stay anonymous as long as you’d like! What matters is that you’re comfortable. Just telling you that I don’t bite, so don’t be afraid to come say hi to me off of anonymous sometime! Don’t listen to anyone who says I do!!! They are liars. Their pants are on fire. I have never bitten anyone before ever… teehee <(￣︶￣)>

Until you do work up that courage, though, you should totallyyy tell me about yourself! I wanna know more about you!!! That is if you want to… but feel free to skip over this section/any of the questions here if you want, SIGHHH (◞‸◟) Okay, time to put down a bunch of questions:

What do you like? What do you dislike? What’re some hobbies and interests of yours? Tell me something about yourself that you think makes you unique to other people! Favorite color? Favorite game? Favorite show? Favorite movie? Favorite song? Favorite flower? Favorite scent? Favorite food? Favorite drink? Are you an introvert or an extrovert… maybe an ambivert? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Do you collect anything? What’s one word you’d use to describe yourself? Do you prefer space or the ocean? Do you believe in the paranormal?

ANDDD I am all out of ideas since I was just coming up with all of those on the spot! You don’t have to answer all of them or even any at all, though. I know that it’s a lot, but there’s some options for you to pick from if you wanna tell me more about yourself! Ehehehehe

YIPPEE!!! I am not creative… and my mortician just seemed like the obvious option for a tag if you weren’t going to pick one yourself ^o^ I meannn, I’ll try my best not to, but no guarantees! Being cut open HURTS. I’d be like, YEOUCHHHH!!! It would be very hard to not squirm methinks 🧐 And you’re excited to talk to meee? That makes me happy 2 hear… I will try not to be boring! I yap a lot. Too much. Hopefully the length of this response doesn’t scare you off LMAOOO. If it does, then oopsie

[allwaswell16]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

I was tagged by @reminiscingintherain to do this (thanks Roni!) and I loved reading her answers to these!

How many works do you have on ao3?

105

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,083,820

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction and Harry Potter (Drarry)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Didn't Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) 3,949 (ooh getting close to the next thousand. I have an anon who comes and asks me for more of this fic every time I get a milestone # on this one, so I'll maybe be talking to you again soon, anon lol)

That's How I Know 3,443

Consequences 2,631

If I Loved You Less 2,387

Waiting 1,803

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I do! Every single one! I get pretty anxious if I don't answer them fairly quickly to be honest. Sometimes I get behind, but not by more than usually a month or so. I really loved getting a response from writers to my comments especially when I first started reading in fandom. To be fair, I left a lot of unhinged comments lol. They probably stood out a little. But I loved having that connection to a writer, so I try to have it in return with anyone reading my fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

I don't write unhappy endings, so this isn't exactly an unhappy ending. But it's a turning vampire fic so. Becoming the undead is angsty-ish, right?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Until (series)

Probably this one because they end up having two weddings in the time stamp lol They're ridiculous and I love them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not very often that I can think of. I can only think of it happening once off the top of my head and it was someone who hadn't even read the fic so.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I doooo! I wouldn't say I love writing it, but I write it when the story seems to go there. I am not really a pwp writer though, and I haven't written fics where the main point is the smut. And the only reason for that is because I just haven't had an idea that called for that!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of Potter Direction ficlets. But probably the weirder ones are the Louis/Rob Pattinson ones lol. The weirdest of those is probably: Interview with the vampire

I'm also writing a Peaky Blinders crossover right now actually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have, unfortunately. I ended up making a Wattpad account for the sole purpose of reporting my stolen fics.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I allow translations so there's a bunch out there now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Wine Not?

I have! Once! It was a giant group of us lol I made some great friends from writing that fic! And actually @taggiecb and I just started talking about writing a mystery fic, but who knows if we'll ever write it

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

OOF. I am a great lover of ships hence my running a rare pair fic fest. There's really something about Draco/Harry or Louis/Nick Grimshaw...I guess the enemies to lovers vibes of it all. The bickering. The drama. sighhh so good.

But I don't know that I can really say that I love any more than my OG Louis/Harry.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am NOT linking it. But I have an unfinished wip out there on ao3 that haunts me. If I ever can figure out what to do with it, I'll finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe humor as evidenced by my more popular fics, I guess. Dialogue maybe just because I find that easy to write. taggiecb is always having to tell me to add more of what the characters are thinking because all I want to write is them talking lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some of the things I've worked on specifically over the years are: writing meaningful smut, writing more vivid sensory details, and having strong characters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I probably wouldn't. I have a vague memory of using another language once. Italian? I'm pretty sure I set a fic in Rome and had a bit of Italian in it. But I had an Italian friend translate that bit for me. So I'd say have a native speaker help with that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As Roni said in her answer...technically I wrote Bill/Ted fic with a childhood friend when we were little kids but we had no idea we were writing fanfiction. Purposely written fic would be One Direction.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Hmmm this is hard. It changes on a whim but maybe Consequences because it probably has the best plot I've ever written. But I don't reread this one because it brings back weird memories for me. Like I dreamed up the plot twistyness on the way to my pulmonologist and immunologist appointments FUN TIMES. So in a way it reminds me of when I was very sick. Whomp. Okay now I've brought down the mood. Let me try and steer this in another direction...I love both If I Loved You Less and Ace of Spades because they are set during the Regency era and I have just now realized they both involve a kidnapping. Read the first one if you want Louis to be kidnapped and Ace if you want Harry to be kidnapped. THAT DID NOT HELP THE MOOD IM SORRY

I'll tag: @kingsofeverything @disgruntledkittenface @voulezloux @tommokat @loveislarryislove @alwaysxlarrie @larry-hiatus and anyone else who wants to do this just say I tagged you!

[blindrapture]

TUESDAY AUGUST 2ND, 2011 (Don't Speak Its True Name II: Mirrors)

9:18 AM okay I have been vomiting for the last fifteen minutes, ever since I woke up it wasn't anything to do with last night, I'm quite used to the smells and tastes of our sex it might be something I ate? what did I eat yesterday. hotel food. it tasted fine? maybe I should eat from somewhere else today, play it safe. donnie's worried about me. thank you, cutie. I'm alright. I'm.. jesus, I'm pale.

9:20 AM she's wrapped me up in the covers and told me to rest today. she can take the journal again.

9:21 AM she doesn't want the journal. but fentzy's awake, and bones too, and they're all going out for their exploration stuff. so. it's just you and me today, journal.

9:22 AM they're all gone. can go back to sleep now.

9:28 AM sighhh. I mean. y'know. I do realize how this looks. how I looked yesterday. maybe I don't know what's going on. maybe I'm nervous to be around these friends? bones is one thing, I had been hoping to run into bones. and there was a time when I was trying to find fentzy, but then I gave that up. there was a time when. "when?" there was a time when I had a crush on fentzy. when we were AIM friends, and here was this girl my age, into the same video games and a lot of the same music as me, this openly dominant girl who.. returned my flirts, and still listened to me talk about my life, and cared about what I was going through, and told me what she was going through, and. we got close. we became really good friends. do you realize how badly I wanted to meet her? do you realize that I became her online friend on the day before my family moved back to england? do you realize what that did to me? to think that the kind of girl I had dreamed about did exist, and that I'd even meet her, that she'd want to be my friend, and want to talk openly about sexual interests... but that I couldn't even meet her in person? she was just another part of the past for me, the past I had to leave behind. "did you talk to her about these feelings?" I think I did? to be honest, I'm kinda starting to realize I make a lot of assumptions, and that maybe if I ever brought up my true feelings for her, I didn't make it clear. but, but see! she was just a part of the past. the rapture happened. I got a new.. focus… "you got donnie." donnie and I.. literally went through trauma together. often hand-in-hand. she's fucking incredible. what a head on her shoulders. she knows about england, she knows how insular life can get there, she understood my desire to see america. she.. "she didn't tell you about cody." eh, she got around to it when it became likelier she'd find him, and I probably would have handled it the same, telling her about fentzy? I get it. "why do you call her 'fentzy?' isn't her name rauri?" yeah. but on AIM I knew her as fentoozler. it was a blink-182 song. I called her 'fentzy' for short. she even liked being called that. "that's important to you. you name things." I do. and I feel bubbly when people like the names I come up with. "donnie didn't like 'motherfawker.'" oh c'mon, it was a dumb name. "donnie seems more concerned with leaving this place than with ensuring you're okay." that's not really her job. "but you're not okay. and if she knew the full extent of this, she wouldn't leave your side. but you're scared to tell her. and that's for a reason." well. "I'm not even talking about your unresolved feelings for rauri here. this stomach bug of yours, this paleness. it's not something you ate. and you know this." kinda? I can't say I was certain. but you're kinda filling in the blanks for me. "this town was waiting for you, Jordan. you know that." it is.. a perfect place. "it was waiting for you, and it was waiting for your friends. it doesn't want you to leave." so it gave me a stomach bug? "you gave it life." through vomit? "…" ..should I want to leave? "yes." why don't I want to? what's.. happening to me? "I've got a better question: who are you talking to right now?" what? you. I'm talking to you. I'm. talking to the mirror.

9:32 AM ...fuck it. gonna play Paper Mario.

2:25 PM I hear the others coming back up the stairs. good. I hate chapter 5.

2:26 PM Donnie brought me some spaghetti! :D "In case the problem was the food you had last night." Awww, thank you so much!

2:33 PM While I ate, they told me about the carnival they found on the edge of town. There were fortune-tellers, tattoo artists, a zombie freak show (featuring chained zombies who had died in many different ways), strength challenges, carousel, ferris wheel, a mirror maze… I told them I wanted to see the mirror maze. That, however I'm feeling, I'd rather die than pass up a good maze. Bones says he'll take me later on, take me to the blacksmith on the way. So I'd better bring my sword.

2:36 PM Everyone wants to hang out here in my room. I guess they want to make sure I'm alright. .w.

2:38 PM So! Uh. Hi everyone! bones "So this is Paper Mario. This is one of those games that you really like, isn't it?" Yeah! I didn't actually get to this one until after Super Paper Mario came out, when I was old enough to want to start buying N64 games I'd missed. I also got the first two Mario Party games. It's an easy RPG. Hard enough for me, I mean. I never even beat Earthbound. fentzy "I love Paper Mario." Yeah. :) I'm on chapter 5 now, though, which isn't my favorite? You go to this island with all the Yoshis on it. fentzy "I love Yoshis." Yeah! :D But I don't really love this tropical island setting. The enemies are harder, there's a lot of fetch quests... which is weird, I guess, because chapter 4 is like my favorite, and that one's nothing but fetch quests, but it's also all Shy Guys, and I find those guys so damn interesting. They have a whole, like, military structure, but the characters themselves are all about mystery. But, like! I played Paper Mario more out of historical interest, as first I played The Thousand Year Door, and that game blew me away, from start to finish it is all compelling setpieces and charming characters, it is one of the least "Mario"-like Mario games. Whereas this N64 original is... definitely a Mario game, just one that's starting to get playful with the source material. Like!

(Jordan spends, uh, half an hour talking about Paper Mario, then for another half-hour he and Fentzy talk about Sonic. Bones and Donnie listen, politely nodding.)

3:56 PM and that is why Sonic 06 is actually really fucking good. donnie "I see. So it's because of the plot." It's fucking incredible! One of the boldest messages Sega could have put out! fentzy "I remember you telling me about that in one of your rambles. It's been a while since I played, so I'd actually forgotten about the Princess Elise stuff." It's art! It's art that only works because a corporation published it, and that works even more because the game was a failure! bones "Yeah, wow, holy shit. It, like, explored failure. It almost sounds like they intended it to fail to make it a better experience." God, that reminds me, wait'll I tell you about Metroid: Other M!

(Oh, goddammit. Forgot about that. This one lasts maybe about twenty minutes.)

4:19 PM fentzy "Wow, I hadn't even heard that one." It had only recently come out when the Rapture started, but I picked it up Day 1. donnie "What is with these kids' games and giving really deep messages about trauma?" Well, Metroid is hardly a kid's game. Maybe a teenager's game. Other M was definitely experimental for the series, most of the games do not go that in-depth with the plot. fentzy "I wish Danny was here. He'd have gotten a kick out of all this." bones "God, you AIM guys and your video games." fentzy "Don't you like Elder Scrolls and Fallout and stuff?" bones "And STALKER, and Deus Ex." she punched his arm "Then you're a dork too." What about you, Donnie? What games did you play? "Oh god. Um. Nothing as exciting as all that." fentzy "What? What did you play?" donnie "Harvest.. Moon? The Sims? Some Rollercoaster Tycoon... but I watched a lot of game review things on the internet as I got older, so I'm aware of all these names." bones "Sounds like you're a PC gamer. Besides the Harvest Moon." donnie "I had a Windows XP and a GBA..."

(Sigh…)

6:25 PM Bones and I are going out! Got my hat on, got my sword! Donnie kissed me and said "Have fun, sweetie!" :D Then Fentzy said "Have a nice day at work!"

6:28 PM Ah, out on the town again, just you and me, the Slenderbrothers! "'Slenderbrothers,' what the heck is that?" Oh, it's. ...well, it's maybe kinda embarrassing, but when my family first moved to England, I'd actually, like, imagine you were with me, and I wrote these little short stories about the things we'd get up to. "..I missed you too, man." I didn't want to leave America. "I know." I didn't even make any new friends. We never stayed in one place for long enough for me to get used to the area and.. meet anyone. Not that I was any good at that in the first place. Didn't you and I meet out of pretty much a fluke? "You and I were the only ones wearing trilbies at band camp." Yeah. It's shallow of me, but, that's what it took to get me to want to chat. "But we're here now. Through the luck of the apocalypse, we're back at it again." That's true. :)

6:32 PM "So I hear something about you and Donnie beating the Ciphers?" Yeah! We beat three of them. Do you know about them? "Only that they're big fuckers. Load-bearing, too. Someone had to beat them." You go in the rabbit holes too. Into Xanadu. o: Do you spend much time there? "Sometimes I prefer it there. I found a salt flat where the sun is bright but the wind keeps it temperate, and a village survives on rainwater, which is plentiful. I stayed there for about a week in June. I still miss it." What were the people? In this village? "Kite-shaped, furry. Spoke English." There's a lot of English out there, I've noticed. "Yeah... it bothers me." I don't really think about it too much.

6:40 PM Marty's Smithy. A big garage with a chimney for the furnace. "Isn't this cool? It's not every day you run into a genuine smithy." I saw one just two days ago, actually. It... uh, never mind. Yeah. This is cool. And you must be Marty, in the rubber apron! handshake "Nice to meet you. Are you the kid with the sword?" I sure am!

6:41 PM "Oh wow, the make of this thing... where did you find it?" A place called Castle True. It's.. far from here. "They sure knew how to make their swords sharp." bones "Can you improve it, though?" "Improve it? No, I don't think so. It's of a fragile material that won't take much refinement before it breaks. But I think I can learn from it, make some swords like it with stronger material. If you'd be willing to give me this, that is." Uh. Like, forever? ..bones is nodding at me. S...sure. Sure. Take the sword. c:

6:45 PM Left the smithy and are on our way to the carnival now. I am swordless. Bones is assuring me that this is a good idea. It doesn't look like we'll be leaving Dominiere just yet anyway, so we'll still be here when the sword's ready. I won't be totally defenseless. Now where's that damn maze? :D

7:03 PM The Caval-Arcade is the name of the carnival. It's set up across a parking lot, the boundaries marked by parked trucks. ...hey Bones, you coming? "Yeah. Uh, yeah. You go on ahead, check out the maze, I'll be... right with you." He's looking at the trucks. ...I mean, okay!

7:04 PM Much of the attractions are closed for the day, but the maze is open until 9. A man in a fancy mustache, tailcoat, and Mickey Mouse pants is waving me in with a cane. "You look like a man who appreciates the fine art of getting lost! Care for an audience... with your own mind? Then come, step inside the Sky's Neighborhood. Find the exit, and you'll get a raffle ticket!" Eh, I don't need a raffle ticket, but I'll gladly do your maze. owo "Atta boy! Step inside, and whatever you do... don't look down."

7:05 PM Mirrors. Halls of mirrors. Seeing myself clearly in here; though my form does warp, it's always in obvious ways. I know how mirrors work. Eek, the bags under my eyes. My dirty blonde hair, when's the last time I showered? My coat's torn in the arms. And I'm.. putting on a little weight? o_o Damn, okay, not unwelcome, I was unhealthily thin! I'm starting to look older now. ...actually, I think I look a lot like.. Fentzy. That's. A thing I don't know how to take. Like, that. When I finally met Fentzy, two days ago. That was my first time actually seeing what she looks like. And. Our faces are similar. Maybe it's some, like, Irish roots or something in the nose and jaw. Maybe it's our eyes, always kinda grumpy, always looking around, taking everything in. And she dresses so fancy. The shirt and tie? Like we were.. meant to meet up. Be a Rapture-fighting pair. Me, her, and Bones. The well-dressed kids on the block. The trio that was.. always meant to be. In my dreams. In my tear-stained, bruised, choked, anguished, never-gonna-come-true little dreams. What does it? Now.

7:08 PM ...I walk on. The layout of this place is nothing special. I can literally see the exit, and am just choosing to spend more time because I'm surprised at how far off the beaten path I am allowed to go. it was never meant to be. it was never going to happen. even now, he knows that. even now, he mourns what could have been. but he can't accept it. he can't accept that it never could have been in the first place. he can't outrun character. I can't outrun character. It never could have been in the first place. But. but? ...then we met up. For real. She's here, in Dominiere. ah. that. he met up with this one, unlike the one he couldn't save. unlike anna. Don't show her to me. striped shirt under indigo T-shirt. brown hair with cute bows. liked wearing jeans. Don't. blade through the heart. she was hunted down by the guards. The ones guarding the doors? Who gave us that riddle? do you want to see? Please no. you came to these mirrors. you came to this maze. the sky is a neighborhood, and you dare bang on the ceiling and tell us to keep it down? we are here to talk. you came here to get lost. let us help you.

8558885885588585855885558558588585585558

(Attached: “I had pulled away to take a look at the trucks, as I recognized them from the previous night: Genera Transit. I figured Jordan would be alright in a tiny little maze tent, so I went discreetly digging in those trucks, half expecting to find mangled dead bodies. Instead, I found, perfectly preserved, the corpses of shopkeepers and bar workers and cafe owners and police officers and postmen, carnival callers, and a certain blacksmith, all held floating in tubes, monitored by computers and journals. They had been dead for weeks. The population of Dominiere that we had been speaking to were not who they said they were. Before I could even discover Jordan's disappearance, someone shut the doors of the truck and locked me inside.")

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[deviantartdramahub]

http://www.deviantart.com/dabewarehub

http://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia

The first account is no mystery, they even mention on their tumbler page that they were both banned. And I bet it has nothing to do with impersonating http://archive.ph/70TUi right? Right?

There be other reasons as well. Their mindset?

http://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/750837058728247296/sighhh-so-i-really-do-hate-to-talk-about-the?source=share

I use the wording "their mindset" because the former person would then go after the people attacked in these places on both sites as memorialized in what https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/753128414213472256/before-anything-else-can-you-imagine-a-place?source=share and https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/751401076418363392/must-i-say-it-its-happening-again-even-going-so?source=share and https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/746432854084501504/httpsarchivephtmq12-imagine-being-a-senior?source=share say. And they can't argue against it, as if http://web.archive.org/web/20240507225817/https://www.deviantart.com/oh-my-arceus/journal/Regarding-DA-s-NSFW-Bans-SHARE-THIS-983998521 is anything to go by, you reap what you sow. Not sure what's with the latter, their most recent posts are http://archive.ph/eASgW (despite many attesting she's on the dole) and http://archive.ph/HdHUK (which would also explain the attack at https://archive.ph/XVQIc and their previously unclear reaction to what https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/754240252844048384/ahahaha-hahahaha-ahaha-ahahahaha-sorry-ill-try?source=share says, they're afraid of being unable to be critics as the desperate vaguepost toward Triagonal at https://archive.ph/iB45Z shows [which was in turn obliterated by https://archive.ph/dIfGe which refers to what https://archive.ph/kk86P says, as well as implying they would be a target on the very DeviantArt they claim to defend as https://web.archive.org/web/20240626070338/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2674121 and https://web.archive.org/web/20240626071258/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2722090 imply through examples], which might explain why at https://web.archive.org/web/20240626052501/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2741348 Voidist tried attacking this group completely out of the blue unprovoked, they're grasping for straws after having rocked the boat, to the extent that even diehard Tri hater Art-dude at https://archive.ph/LQ7rR is questioning).

It should be noted they were both coordinated with each other, and the former was said to have looked down on deactivating accounts out of pity even if she has done it as http://tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/727677940667662336/at-first-i-was-skeptical-that-pussy-glitter-the?source=share shows. Rule obsessed as https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/749786289305534464/that-moment-when-i-post-about-being-called-out-for?source=share shows when it came to other people, but not for thee/them.

A potential partial damner couldn't have been the manner in which at http://archive.ph/tUD3T she bizarrely implies that her peeve she mentions at https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/748948483564879872/due-to-it-being-campaigned-around-funny-how-the?source=share and http://web.archive.org/web/20240516172010/https://www.deviantart.com/oh-my-arceus/status-update/If-you-re-the-kind-of-1052818351 only applies to people she hates (despite her using it more as https://archive.ph/v1w5u show), right? Right?

I'm hoping the full answer is obvious. The "queen" may come back, but we're ready.

I am an anon but will reveal who I am within the week if I must, I just wanted to post as an anon because some things belong to all.

By the way, did one of you really report one of the Tiktok videos (of the same guy with the misleading slogan "it's not slander if it's true" which I got stuck in my head as I read what https://web.archive.org/web/20230918112950/https://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia/status-update/Ayguys-itsMayfly-is-telling-people-to-982397917 and https://web.archive.org/web/20231102215647/https://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia/status-update/So-these-two-users-Gellygirl-991977297 and http://web.archive.org/web/20230204233501/https://www.deviantart.com/morothias/journal/My-side-of-the-story-948072142 claim [among other things] about being slandered) as https://archive.ph/JkAyu suggests?

Just one? That's not what is suggested by this screenshot floating around originally meant to highlight the new name of a certain pastry person which is enjoying a good thoroughing.

If only this optimism carried over to how other people are treated.

[scottyzoomz]

WHAT THE FLIP I JUST REALIZED IM GOING INTO REHEARSAL WITH KIDS I DONT KNOW FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL WHAT THE FLIP sdhfjkfsda at the HIGH SCHOOL TOO ?? man... this isNOT cool, but I AM SO GLAD THAT SOME OF MY FRIENDS MIGHT BE THERE.. the fact the last concert that my friend broke his D string like right before the concert happened, like it just popped off ??? he had to play with an out of tune viola the entire concert that's just sad sighhh lets hope that i might find some new friends THAT MIGHT KNOW WEST SIDE STORY TOO ?!?!??! hopefully. HOPEFULLY. And talk about silly orchestra class things together ' Guys remember its 2 fingers together for F natural !!!! ' - orchestra teacher bro. why does my orchestra teacher walk in , in the wron gtming ' SHE'S GONNA TICKLE MY- ' *orchestra teacher walks in.. looks at me weirdly with a ' uhhhh i definitely heard nothing weird smirk* ' UH.... ' fdsahjfds i hope i dont loose my shoulder rest, break my bow, any of my strings the day before the concert !!! sighhh