#sighhh what am i talking about

[dizzybizz]

would love to see some bronseele! :3c

then may i offer some (very messy) bronseele??

[confetti-critter]

The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I

[trans-xianxian]

hmm feeling very weird abt my job lately.. I love the kids and it's a very easy and comfortable job for the kind of work that it is but I just always feel kept out of the loop on important stuff that everybody else seems to know. like the program I work with does summer camps and nobody told me that it might not happen this year until it was actually approved to happen. but all of my other coworkers were aware of this and nobody thought that maybe that was important info for me to have?? this itsnt even the only instance of me not being told work stuff that everyone else is made aware of

I'm also just so unclear about the rules? like for the kids? I've worked there since the beginning of the school year and there are Still things I don't know if the kids are allowed to do and not for lack of trying. this has bothered me from the beginning like. it doesn't make me appear to be a very responsible and reliable adult or authority figure to the kids when I'm always having to defer to my boss/co teacher about what is and is not allowed. I've literally never worked in an education/childcare environment where the rules were so unclear and flip floppy or where I have no input on classroom expectations

idk I just don't rlly feel like a respected or valued part of the team which is not only frustrating on a base level of like. that's not how you should feel at your job but also like... the kids pick up on that dynamic and take me and my instructions for them less seriously and I often don't feel listened to by them not because they're disrespectful kids or they don't like me but because they see me as less of an authority figure because thats how I'm treated by my boss. and it's like I Know that I'm not bad at my job. I am a good teacher and have literally never experienced this kind of thing before it's just so weird and uncomfortable

not to mention I always feel left out socially but like. that's true in most places. this sounds kind of pathetic lmao but I am used to not fitting in by now I've spent 21 years this way it would be silly of me to be surprised by it at this point but that doesn't make me feel any less lonely and down when I'm left out of social experiences everybody else gets to be a part of

these aren't recent things but I think w everything else going on in my life at the moment its all weighing on me more, and I definitely feel like my boss has been treating me differently and not as well ever since my mom died and I also get the impression that she's getting tired of me still not being able to do certain things because of my foot. idk it's like I came back from my week off after my mom passed and she's just been so much less friendly? I thought I was maybe making it up in my state of emotional distress but it's Only her being like this

but like... I don't want to make any dramatic career choices while going through a difficult part of my life personally and emotionally. I don't want to decide to not come back next year or work for a different summer camp while I'm Not Having A Good Time, but it's also hard to feel great at a job I don't feel like I fit in at while I'm also Not Having A Good Time. it's all made even harder by the fact that I rlly love my students and would feel sad not to see them again next year

[olderthannetfic]

People on fandomsecrets are really mad this week about other people reviewing fanfiction on goodreads and I don't want to litigate whether people should or shouldn't use that website in that manner right now, because the thing I'm actually wound up about is:

when someone asks why, they say "BECAUSE FANFIC ISN'T BOOKS!!!1!1!" as though this is supposed to explain everything, and when asked to elaborate they basically just find ways to say "fanfic, by virtue of being fanfic, is not a book, which is a different thing from fanfic, by virtue of books being books which are not fanfic" in more and more words without adding any coherent information.

Fanfic is a type of story. Books is a type of physical object. In the digital age there are now lots of professional ~official~ works of literature which have never once been published in a physical form. The comparison is meaningless to begin with and also doesn't answer the question.

Is this just a way of ignoring the goodreads thing entirely so they can stealth complain about the Wattpad thing where people used to that site call all stories "books"? Is that what's going on here?

--

Sighhh.

I know some people think Goodreads is for Real Books™, but a hell of a lot of what's on there is trashy romance novels. I myself am an author... of indie selfpub m/m mystery novels that are overtly fandom-adjacent in that BL way. Like most people in that space, I'm mainly focused on ebooks. Why are these things not fic? Well, because we sell them for money and we don't call them fic and because we've done a successful find and replace on the character names.

I think people have trouble articulating why fic is not books because they're used to thinking in terms of content, and they know perfectly well that Goodreads is full of content that might as well be from a fic.

But no, I don't think this is an anti-Wattpad thing at all.

What they're trying and failing to articulate is that fic is not a book by virtue of its author not intending it as one.

Fic authors, or at least ones adhering to a certain kind of AO3 culture, mean their work to be a not-for-profit gift for their fandom community. They often have a horror of it escaping containment to reach the eyeballs of outsiders.

Now, frankly, with the multitude of Goodreads users reviewing original omegaverse mpreg romance novels, I'm not sure that the site actually counts as outsiders, but that's how the people going "Fic is not books!" feel. It's a violation to bring fic there just like it's gross when a talk show host digs up some horny fan art to show to actors so they can have a good laugh at fandom's expense.

[krynutsreal]

not a headcanon per se, but i am thinking about that one dr:s interaction between mondo and hiroko where hiroko’s basically like “i’ve noticed that you’ve just been standing around and not riding your motorcycle at night. very considerate” and mondo’s like “well, yeah, i WANT to tear it up but SOME PEOPLE need it to be quiet at night so they can study and work on assignments”

and like. okay mondo… what people??? anyways, what a gentleman! he’s basically acting like this:

also that one dr:s interaction between mondo and taka where they allude to the fact that they know they’re going to be a constant in each other’s lives even after they graduate from hope’s peak. something about mondo talking about moving on from hope’s peak and how he’s worried if he’s gonna steer away from his self-improvement, but then he says something along the lines of “but i know you’ll (taka) always be there to snap me out of that.”

dr:s was shit. but one thing the writers will never fumble is ishimondo (and to an extent, just mondo’s writing in general). ishimondo enjoyers just got w after w.

OUUGHH THEY MAKE ME SO SICK.....WHAY IS WRONG WITHNTNNMMS...I HAVENY THOUGHT ABOUT DR:S IN A HOT MINUTE THANK U FOR REMINDING ME OF TJAT

so so real that there was so many things that didn't turn out well in that game BUT LIKE !!! ISBIMODMO !!! WHAY THE SCALLOP ..

sighhh it reminds me of how junko and mondos dr:s interaction towards the end was junko kinda mentioning that mondo had softened up over the past few years in hopes peak ,, and connecting that with how he got more considerate of others (stares at what he said about people having to do assignments n stuff and not wanting to make so much noise with his bike) it's LIKE. AHHHGH HES GROWN.....and taka has been a part of that growth and and and admnmdr I'm so fucking sick .they make me ill

[themarcidd]

HELLOO!!! Kinda new to tumblr but I came here in hope to find some friends and a community that I can rlly connect with

First just wanted to say that you guys can call me Marci/marcy!

It is NOT my real name and I don’t rlly plan on sharing it yet perhaps at all

Mmmlets see I play volleyball, soccer/futból, I do track, xc, and swim! Basically all sports but those are my main ones!! I am mixed black and Hispanic also! Soccer is my main sport and I play goalkeeper!! And d1… surprisingly.. I am only 5’2 haha..

I’ve been hyperfixated on Bungou Stray Dogs for probably 5ishyears now and am all caught up on the manga and have been with My Hero Academia for about half the time it’s existed! I say this because I’m pretty sure these anime’s/mangas will be the most I talk about or creat content of, especially on ao3 and my art!

Ao3 is themarcid btwwwww thank you so much please check it out! Disclaimer I am not the best author and English is not my first language and I am dyslexic😓 (formerly venusBaii)

But I have many other interest!!

Such as deltarune/ undertale, Twd, jjk, tbhk, hxh, haikyuu, kny, and greys anatomy!!

And sighhh Dazai is my fave.. giyuu is my fave… Carl is my fave..Aizawa is my fave. He’s actually my husband I love him so muchhh ughhhh and I love Kris from deltarune they’re so ughhh interesting I can’t wait for the next chapters ahhh

Thank you so much and please fill out this request form even if you don’t know me just any ideas or recommendations would be greatly appreciated and helpful to me!!

Thank you guys!! - Marci ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[allwaswell16]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

I was tagged by @reminiscingintherain to do this (thanks Roni!) and I loved reading her answers to these!

How many works do you have on ao3?

105

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,083,820

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction and Harry Potter (Drarry)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Didn't Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) 3,949 (ooh getting close to the next thousand. I have an anon who comes and asks me for more of this fic every time I get a milestone # on this one, so I'll maybe be talking to you again soon, anon lol)

That's How I Know 3,443

Consequences 2,631

If I Loved You Less 2,387

Waiting 1,803

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I do! Every single one! I get pretty anxious if I don't answer them fairly quickly to be honest. Sometimes I get behind, but not by more than usually a month or so. I really loved getting a response from writers to my comments especially when I first started reading in fandom. To be fair, I left a lot of unhinged comments lol. They probably stood out a little. But I loved having that connection to a writer, so I try to have it in return with anyone reading my fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

I don't write unhappy endings, so this isn't exactly an unhappy ending. But it's a turning vampire fic so. Becoming the undead is angsty-ish, right?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Until (series)

Probably this one because they end up having two weddings in the time stamp lol They're ridiculous and I love them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not very often that I can think of. I can only think of it happening once off the top of my head and it was someone who hadn't even read the fic so.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I doooo! I wouldn't say I love writing it, but I write it when the story seems to go there. I am not really a pwp writer though, and I haven't written fics where the main point is the smut. And the only reason for that is because I just haven't had an idea that called for that!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of Potter Direction ficlets. But probably the weirder ones are the Louis/Rob Pattinson ones lol. The weirdest of those is probably: Interview with the vampire

I'm also writing a Peaky Blinders crossover right now actually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have, unfortunately. I ended up making a Wattpad account for the sole purpose of reporting my stolen fics.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I allow translations so there's a bunch out there now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Wine Not?

I have! Once! It was a giant group of us lol I made some great friends from writing that fic! And actually @taggiecb and I just started talking about writing a mystery fic, but who knows if we'll ever write it

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

OOF. I am a great lover of ships hence my running a rare pair fic fest. There's really something about Draco/Harry or Louis/Nick Grimshaw...I guess the enemies to lovers vibes of it all. The bickering. The drama. sighhh so good.

But I don't know that I can really say that I love any more than my OG Louis/Harry.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am NOT linking it. But I have an unfinished wip out there on ao3 that haunts me. If I ever can figure out what to do with it, I'll finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe humor as evidenced by my more popular fics, I guess. Dialogue maybe just because I find that easy to write. taggiecb is always having to tell me to add more of what the characters are thinking because all I want to write is them talking lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some of the things I've worked on specifically over the years are: writing meaningful smut, writing more vivid sensory details, and having strong characters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I probably wouldn't. I have a vague memory of using another language once. Italian? I'm pretty sure I set a fic in Rome and had a bit of Italian in it. But I had an Italian friend translate that bit for me. So I'd say have a native speaker help with that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As Roni said in her answer...technically I wrote Bill/Ted fic with a childhood friend when we were little kids but we had no idea we were writing fanfiction. Purposely written fic would be One Direction.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Hmmm this is hard. It changes on a whim but maybe Consequences because it probably has the best plot I've ever written. But I don't reread this one because it brings back weird memories for me. Like I dreamed up the plot twistyness on the way to my pulmonologist and immunologist appointments FUN TIMES. So in a way it reminds me of when I was very sick. Whomp. Okay now I've brought down the mood. Let me try and steer this in another direction...I love both If I Loved You Less and Ace of Spades because they are set during the Regency era and I have just now realized they both involve a kidnapping. Read the first one if you want Louis to be kidnapped and Ace if you want Harry to be kidnapped. THAT DID NOT HELP THE MOOD IM SORRY

I'll tag: @kingsofeverything @disgruntledkittenface @voulezloux @tommokat @loveislarryislove @alwaysxlarrie @larry-hiatus and anyone else who wants to do this just say I tagged you!

[blindrapture]

TUESDAY AUGUST 2ND, 2011 (Don't Speak Its True Name II: Mirrors)

9:18 AM okay I have been vomiting for the last fifteen minutes, ever since I woke up it wasn't anything to do with last night, I'm quite used to the smells and tastes of our sex it might be something I ate? what did I eat yesterday. hotel food. it tasted fine? maybe I should eat from somewhere else today, play it safe. donnie's worried about me. thank you, cutie. I'm alright. I'm.. jesus, I'm pale.

9:20 AM she's wrapped me up in the covers and told me to rest today. she can take the journal again.

9:21 AM she doesn't want the journal. but fentzy's awake, and bones too, and they're all going out for their exploration stuff. so. it's just you and me today, journal.

9:22 AM they're all gone. can go back to sleep now.

9:28 AM sighhh. I mean. y'know. I do realize how this looks. how I looked yesterday. maybe I don't know what's going on. maybe I'm nervous to be around these friends? bones is one thing, I had been hoping to run into bones. and there was a time when I was trying to find fentzy, but then I gave that up. there was a time when. "when?" there was a time when I had a crush on fentzy. when we were AIM friends, and here was this girl my age, into the same video games and a lot of the same music as me, this openly dominant girl who.. returned my flirts, and still listened to me talk about my life, and cared about what I was going through, and told me what she was going through, and. we got close. we became really good friends. do you realize how badly I wanted to meet her? do you realize that I became her online friend on the day before my family moved back to england? do you realize what that did to me? to think that the kind of girl I had dreamed about did exist, and that I'd even meet her, that she'd want to be my friend, and want to talk openly about sexual interests... but that I couldn't even meet her in person? she was just another part of the past for me, the past I had to leave behind. "did you talk to her about these feelings?" I think I did? to be honest, I'm kinda starting to realize I make a lot of assumptions, and that maybe if I ever brought up my true feelings for her, I didn't make it clear. but, but see! she was just a part of the past. the rapture happened. I got a new.. focus… "you got donnie." donnie and I.. literally went through trauma together. often hand-in-hand. she's fucking incredible. what a head on her shoulders. she knows about england, she knows how insular life can get there, she understood my desire to see america. she.. "she didn't tell you about cody." eh, she got around to it when it became likelier she'd find him, and I probably would have handled it the same, telling her about fentzy? I get it. "why do you call her 'fentzy?' isn't her name rauri?" yeah. but on AIM I knew her as fentoozler. it was a blink-182 song. I called her 'fentzy' for short. she even liked being called that. "that's important to you. you name things." I do. and I feel bubbly when people like the names I come up with. "donnie didn't like 'motherfawker.'" oh c'mon, it was a dumb name. "donnie seems more concerned with leaving this place than with ensuring you're okay." that's not really her job. "but you're not okay. and if she knew the full extent of this, she wouldn't leave your side. but you're scared to tell her. and that's for a reason." well. "I'm not even talking about your unresolved feelings for rauri here. this stomach bug of yours, this paleness. it's not something you ate. and you know this." kinda? I can't say I was certain. but you're kinda filling in the blanks for me. "this town was waiting for you, Jordan. you know that." it is.. a perfect place. "it was waiting for you, and it was waiting for your friends. it doesn't want you to leave." so it gave me a stomach bug? "you gave it life." through vomit? "…" ..should I want to leave? "yes." why don't I want to? what's.. happening to me? "I've got a better question: who are you talking to right now?" what? you. I'm talking to you. I'm. talking to the mirror.

9:32 AM ...fuck it. gonna play Paper Mario.

2:25 PM I hear the others coming back up the stairs. good. I hate chapter 5.

2:26 PM Donnie brought me some spaghetti! :D "In case the problem was the food you had last night." Awww, thank you so much!

2:33 PM While I ate, they told me about the carnival they found on the edge of town. There were fortune-tellers, tattoo artists, a zombie freak show (featuring chained zombies who had died in many different ways), strength challenges, carousel, ferris wheel, a mirror maze… I told them I wanted to see the mirror maze. That, however I'm feeling, I'd rather die than pass up a good maze. Bones says he'll take me later on, take me to the blacksmith on the way. So I'd better bring my sword.

2:36 PM Everyone wants to hang out here in my room. I guess they want to make sure I'm alright. .w.

2:38 PM So! Uh. Hi everyone! bones "So this is Paper Mario. This is one of those games that you really like, isn't it?" Yeah! I didn't actually get to this one until after Super Paper Mario came out, when I was old enough to want to start buying N64 games I'd missed. I also got the first two Mario Party games. It's an easy RPG. Hard enough for me, I mean. I never even beat Earthbound. fentzy "I love Paper Mario." Yeah. :) I'm on chapter 5 now, though, which isn't my favorite? You go to this island with all the Yoshis on it. fentzy "I love Yoshis." Yeah! :D But I don't really love this tropical island setting. The enemies are harder, there's a lot of fetch quests... which is weird, I guess, because chapter 4 is like my favorite, and that one's nothing but fetch quests, but it's also all Shy Guys, and I find those guys so damn interesting. They have a whole, like, military structure, but the characters themselves are all about mystery. But, like! I played Paper Mario more out of historical interest, as first I played The Thousand Year Door, and that game blew me away, from start to finish it is all compelling setpieces and charming characters, it is one of the least "Mario"-like Mario games. Whereas this N64 original is... definitely a Mario game, just one that's starting to get playful with the source material. Like!

(Jordan spends, uh, half an hour talking about Paper Mario, then for another half-hour he and Fentzy talk about Sonic. Bones and Donnie listen, politely nodding.)

3:56 PM and that is why Sonic 06 is actually really fucking good. donnie "I see. So it's because of the plot." It's fucking incredible! One of the boldest messages Sega could have put out! fentzy "I remember you telling me about that in one of your rambles. It's been a while since I played, so I'd actually forgotten about the Princess Elise stuff." It's art! It's art that only works because a corporation published it, and that works even more because the game was a failure! bones "Yeah, wow, holy shit. It, like, explored failure. It almost sounds like they intended it to fail to make it a better experience." God, that reminds me, wait'll I tell you about Metroid: Other M!

(Oh, goddammit. Forgot about that. This one lasts maybe about twenty minutes.)

4:19 PM fentzy "Wow, I hadn't even heard that one." It had only recently come out when the Rapture started, but I picked it up Day 1. donnie "What is with these kids' games and giving really deep messages about trauma?" Well, Metroid is hardly a kid's game. Maybe a teenager's game. Other M was definitely experimental for the series, most of the games do not go that in-depth with the plot. fentzy "I wish Danny was here. He'd have gotten a kick out of all this." bones "God, you AIM guys and your video games." fentzy "Don't you like Elder Scrolls and Fallout and stuff?" bones "And STALKER, and Deus Ex." she punched his arm "Then you're a dork too." What about you, Donnie? What games did you play? "Oh god. Um. Nothing as exciting as all that." fentzy "What? What did you play?" donnie "Harvest.. Moon? The Sims? Some Rollercoaster Tycoon... but I watched a lot of game review things on the internet as I got older, so I'm aware of all these names." bones "Sounds like you're a PC gamer. Besides the Harvest Moon." donnie "I had a Windows XP and a GBA..."

(Sigh…)

6:25 PM Bones and I are going out! Got my hat on, got my sword! Donnie kissed me and said "Have fun, sweetie!" :D Then Fentzy said "Have a nice day at work!"

6:28 PM Ah, out on the town again, just you and me, the Slenderbrothers! "'Slenderbrothers,' what the heck is that?" Oh, it's. ...well, it's maybe kinda embarrassing, but when my family first moved to England, I'd actually, like, imagine you were with me, and I wrote these little short stories about the things we'd get up to. "..I missed you too, man." I didn't want to leave America. "I know." I didn't even make any new friends. We never stayed in one place for long enough for me to get used to the area and.. meet anyone. Not that I was any good at that in the first place. Didn't you and I meet out of pretty much a fluke? "You and I were the only ones wearing trilbies at band camp." Yeah. It's shallow of me, but, that's what it took to get me to want to chat. "But we're here now. Through the luck of the apocalypse, we're back at it again." That's true. :)

6:32 PM "So I hear something about you and Donnie beating the Ciphers?" Yeah! We beat three of them. Do you know about them? "Only that they're big fuckers. Load-bearing, too. Someone had to beat them." You go in the rabbit holes too. Into Xanadu. o: Do you spend much time there? "Sometimes I prefer it there. I found a salt flat where the sun is bright but the wind keeps it temperate, and a village survives on rainwater, which is plentiful. I stayed there for about a week in June. I still miss it." What were the people? In this village? "Kite-shaped, furry. Spoke English." There's a lot of English out there, I've noticed. "Yeah... it bothers me." I don't really think about it too much.

6:40 PM Marty's Smithy. A big garage with a chimney for the furnace. "Isn't this cool? It's not every day you run into a genuine smithy." I saw one just two days ago, actually. It... uh, never mind. Yeah. This is cool. And you must be Marty, in the rubber apron! handshake "Nice to meet you. Are you the kid with the sword?" I sure am!

6:41 PM "Oh wow, the make of this thing... where did you find it?" A place called Castle True. It's.. far from here. "They sure knew how to make their swords sharp." bones "Can you improve it, though?" "Improve it? No, I don't think so. It's of a fragile material that won't take much refinement before it breaks. But I think I can learn from it, make some swords like it with stronger material. If you'd be willing to give me this, that is." Uh. Like, forever? ..bones is nodding at me. S...sure. Sure. Take the sword. c:

6:45 PM Left the smithy and are on our way to the carnival now. I am swordless. Bones is assuring me that this is a good idea. It doesn't look like we'll be leaving Dominiere just yet anyway, so we'll still be here when the sword's ready. I won't be totally defenseless. Now where's that damn maze? :D

7:03 PM The Caval-Arcade is the name of the carnival. It's set up across a parking lot, the boundaries marked by parked trucks. ...hey Bones, you coming? "Yeah. Uh, yeah. You go on ahead, check out the maze, I'll be... right with you." He's looking at the trucks. ...I mean, okay!

7:04 PM Much of the attractions are closed for the day, but the maze is open until 9. A man in a fancy mustache, tailcoat, and Mickey Mouse pants is waving me in with a cane. "You look like a man who appreciates the fine art of getting lost! Care for an audience... with your own mind? Then come, step inside the Sky's Neighborhood. Find the exit, and you'll get a raffle ticket!" Eh, I don't need a raffle ticket, but I'll gladly do your maze. owo "Atta boy! Step inside, and whatever you do... don't look down."

7:05 PM Mirrors. Halls of mirrors. Seeing myself clearly in here; though my form does warp, it's always in obvious ways. I know how mirrors work. Eek, the bags under my eyes. My dirty blonde hair, when's the last time I showered? My coat's torn in the arms. And I'm.. putting on a little weight? o_o Damn, okay, not unwelcome, I was unhealthily thin! I'm starting to look older now. ...actually, I think I look a lot like.. Fentzy. That's. A thing I don't know how to take. Like, that. When I finally met Fentzy, two days ago. That was my first time actually seeing what she looks like. And. Our faces are similar. Maybe it's some, like, Irish roots or something in the nose and jaw. Maybe it's our eyes, always kinda grumpy, always looking around, taking everything in. And she dresses so fancy. The shirt and tie? Like we were.. meant to meet up. Be a Rapture-fighting pair. Me, her, and Bones. The well-dressed kids on the block. The trio that was.. always meant to be. In my dreams. In my tear-stained, bruised, choked, anguished, never-gonna-come-true little dreams. What does it? Now.

7:08 PM ...I walk on. The layout of this place is nothing special. I can literally see the exit, and am just choosing to spend more time because I'm surprised at how far off the beaten path I am allowed to go. it was never meant to be. it was never going to happen. even now, he knows that. even now, he mourns what could have been. but he can't accept it. he can't accept that it never could have been in the first place. he can't outrun character. I can't outrun character. It never could have been in the first place. But. but? ...then we met up. For real. She's here, in Dominiere. ah. that. he met up with this one, unlike the one he couldn't save. unlike anna. Don't show her to me. striped shirt under indigo T-shirt. brown hair with cute bows. liked wearing jeans. Don't. blade through the heart. she was hunted down by the guards. The ones guarding the doors? Who gave us that riddle? do you want to see? Please no. you came to these mirrors. you came to this maze. the sky is a neighborhood, and you dare bang on the ceiling and tell us to keep it down? we are here to talk. you came here to get lost. let us help you.

8558885885588585855885558558588585585558

(Attached: “I had pulled away to take a look at the trucks, as I recognized them from the previous night: Genera Transit. I figured Jordan would be alright in a tiny little maze tent, so I went discreetly digging in those trucks, half expecting to find mangled dead bodies. Instead, I found, perfectly preserved, the corpses of shopkeepers and bar workers and cafe owners and police officers and postmen, carnival callers, and a certain blacksmith, all held floating in tubes, monitored by computers and journals. They had been dead for weeks. The population of Dominiere that we had been speaking to were not who they said they were. Before I could even discover Jordan's disappearance, someone shut the doors of the truck and locked me inside.")

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[deviantartdramahub]

http://www.deviantart.com/dabewarehub

http://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia

The first account is no mystery, they even mention on their tumbler page that they were both banned. And I bet it has nothing to do with impersonating http://archive.ph/70TUi right? Right?

There be other reasons as well. Their mindset?

http://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/750837058728247296/sighhh-so-i-really-do-hate-to-talk-about-the?source=share

I use the wording "their mindset" because the former person would then go after the people attacked in these places on both sites as memorialized in what https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/753128414213472256/before-anything-else-can-you-imagine-a-place?source=share and https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/751401076418363392/must-i-say-it-its-happening-again-even-going-so?source=share and https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/746432854084501504/httpsarchivephtmq12-imagine-being-a-senior?source=share say. And they can't argue against it, as if http://web.archive.org/web/20240507225817/https://www.deviantart.com/oh-my-arceus/journal/Regarding-DA-s-NSFW-Bans-SHARE-THIS-983998521 is anything to go by, you reap what you sow. Not sure what's with the latter, their most recent posts are http://archive.ph/eASgW (despite many attesting she's on the dole) and http://archive.ph/HdHUK (which would also explain the attack at https://archive.ph/XVQIc and their previously unclear reaction to what https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/754240252844048384/ahahaha-hahahaha-ahaha-ahahahaha-sorry-ill-try?source=share says, they're afraid of being unable to be critics as the desperate vaguepost toward Triagonal at https://archive.ph/iB45Z shows [which was in turn obliterated by https://archive.ph/dIfGe which refers to what https://archive.ph/kk86P says, as well as implying they would be a target on the very DeviantArt they claim to defend as https://web.archive.org/web/20240626070338/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2674121 and https://web.archive.org/web/20240626071258/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2722090 imply through examples], which might explain why at https://web.archive.org/web/20240626052501/https://www.deviantart.com/forum/devart/general/2741348 Voidist tried attacking this group completely out of the blue unprovoked, they're grasping for straws after having rocked the boat, to the extent that even diehard Tri hater Art-dude at https://archive.ph/LQ7rR is questioning).

It should be noted they were both coordinated with each other, and the former was said to have looked down on deactivating accounts out of pity even if she has done it as http://tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/727677940667662336/at-first-i-was-skeptical-that-pussy-glitter-the?source=share shows. Rule obsessed as https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/749786289305534464/that-moment-when-i-post-about-being-called-out-for?source=share shows when it came to other people, but not for thee/them.

A potential partial damner couldn't have been the manner in which at http://archive.ph/tUD3T she bizarrely implies that her peeve she mentions at https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/748948483564879872/due-to-it-being-campaigned-around-funny-how-the?source=share and http://web.archive.org/web/20240516172010/https://www.deviantart.com/oh-my-arceus/status-update/If-you-re-the-kind-of-1052818351 only applies to people she hates (despite her using it more as https://archive.ph/v1w5u show), right? Right?

I'm hoping the full answer is obvious. The "queen" may come back, but we're ready.

I am an anon but will reveal who I am within the week if I must, I just wanted to post as an anon because some things belong to all.

By the way, did one of you really report one of the Tiktok videos (of the same guy with the misleading slogan "it's not slander if it's true" which I got stuck in my head as I read what https://web.archive.org/web/20230918112950/https://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia/status-update/Ayguys-itsMayfly-is-telling-people-to-982397917 and https://web.archive.org/web/20231102215647/https://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia/status-update/So-these-two-users-Gellygirl-991977297 and http://web.archive.org/web/20230204233501/https://www.deviantart.com/morothias/journal/My-side-of-the-story-948072142 claim [among other things] about being slandered) as https://archive.ph/JkAyu suggests?

Just one? That's not what is suggested by this screenshot floating around originally meant to highlight the new name of a certain pastry person which is enjoying a good thoroughing.

If only this optimism carried over to how other people are treated.

[rothjuje]

I have so many half posts in drafts it is ridiculous. So much life keeps happening I cannot keep up.

Okay. TX neighbor came, it was fun fun fun but I basically collapsed from exhaustion when she left. Alyssa lost her second tooth and has a massive tooth growing in that pushed out both baby teeth, poor girl is going to need braces. At some point I got the worst stomach bug I had had in at least a decade and that knocked me out for a bit. And then I broke a tooth and have oral surgery to deal with it tomorrow am.

And the wood floors. Sigh. The wood was delivered last week and has been taking over our living room. Install was supposed to be yesterday but some planks were cut thinner than other planks, so some had gaps. The manager came out to the house to talk to us about it and recommended we return and get a different brand of wood.

Just. Whyyy.

So now we still have a pallet of wood in our living room, no carpet or tile, staples everywhere. Sigh. We have to pick new wood, pray that it is in stock, get it to the house, have it acclimate for 72 hours, and then pray they can get someone out to install it (original install was booked 2 months out). Sighhh.

I was so hoping for a break after the wood install, and now we’re in living room-less limbo.

Anyway.

What else? Celebrated Rosh Hashanah with some local Jews yesterday. I really like them a lot. I really like a lot of people here a lot, I think I vibe better with people here than I did in CA or TX. Or maybe it’s just easier to make friends here because small town life. I’m not sure.

You definitely can’t hide in a small town. I was having a hot mess day a couple weeks ago and saw 4 of the 5 people I hang out with in town. It was mortifying. I had another hot mess day yesterday, and again ran into 4 of the 5 people I know. I think people have compassion for my hot mess though because most of them have toddlers and get the chaos that is having two toddlers.

Oddly enough, all my close friends in TX were one and done and did not have compassion for the chaos. So maybe I just know more people who get it out here.

I’m going to a special needs’ mom night tonight, mainly to support my friend hosting it. I feel a little socially tapped out. So grateful to have a community out here though, was not expecting it to come so easily after I struggled for so long in both CA and TX to make friends as an adult.

Despite all the unnecessary stressful things that have happened since we left TX in June, I feel like we’re *meant* to be here. It just feels like home.

[mariacallous]

Sighhh im a blue dot in the deep south and every election season i come in2 ur anons LOL but i literally cannot tell you how flabbergasted i am at all the national coverage so far in the presidential cycle. Like the people know trump's a crook!!! Hell that's why they like him so much!! But southern republicans are like honor-culture people, ofc the other R's arent going to say a damn thing not just bc they are evil and dishonest but because no matter what insult and degradation befalls our nation and constitution by his hand, the biggest sin of all to the southern republican is to not protect your own (IN PUBLIC, against the demoncrats etc)!!!! This is not hard people!! But on the bright side folks arent as mobilized around here as they were before.....like after a certain number of indictments people got a little tired of hearing about it and they've mostly moved on to white genocide as a global issue like the presidency actually seems like small beans compared to the end of days doomsday talking they've been doing for years anyway

I mean, I keep hoping for more and more republicans to be demoralized.

[courtrecord]

4, 8, 16, or 23 maybe?

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

i like... don't really block people ever actually. lmao

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

anyone who thinks 3-5 is better than 2-4, we are not the same

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

oh there are so many of these lol. hm trying to think of a good one. one that often gets me is people talking about characters hating themselves or thinking they're not worthy? which like. i mean. there are definitely characters for whom that applies and is a big character thing for them (miles edgeworth comes to mind), but it feels like fans will use it as a sticker that they stick on everything to make it Angsty without thinking about it much. there are so many other ways for characters to feel bad or sad or mad.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

i am like, Very picky about ships so this is hard. hm. if i think one i'll let u know EDIT: my friend @zoeylectric has brought it to my attention that hanleia. is definitely a ship i unwillingly came around to. sighhh the things i do for leia organa

ask me my hot takes

[andsalttheearthbehindyou]

hiiiiiiiiii

ok im gonna rant for a little bit below if anyones interested about what ive been doing and where ive been these past months

soooo ive never been the type of person to see my future very clearly. ive never had long term motivations, goals, or desires. i had never thought of myself as such a listless person because i had such strong aspirations in reference to school and academia but that was it. i graduated highschool in 2020 and went straight to college, still not knowing what i wanted to do, just knowing that i wanted to be the best at whatever i did. i defined myself by my accomplishments and the speed at which i achieved them. i graduated a few months ago with my bachelors (in 2 years!!!!) and this was something i was so proud of myself for, but i felt so much inner turmoil because of it. and thats because i felt like id done all these things and i thought i wouldve figured out what id want to do by that point, but i still hadnt figured it out. 

im 21 now (celebrated my bday in january :) u all better leave me belated wishes below) and i know that im still young, but i felt so frustrated with the life i had led until now, the wasted efforts and useless skills. i felt like i had so much to offer but nowhere to apply and nothing to show for it. id also struggled with things like doing what i love but not being financially successful versus doing something that i know will make me financially successful and being a happy person because of that. 

i wont lament too much on my passion for publishing, because ultimately it came down to the fact that i dont think its smart to invest in a profession that likely wont result in me being successful in the way that i want to be. what i will harp on here is how happy and proud i am of myself for being brave enough to embark on my law school journey!! im going to law school!!! im so happy!!!!!! i promise (literal nervous anxiety tears streaming down my cheeks rn)!! i know that it is so much money and so much work, but i know that this is what i need to do to feel accomplished in life, to see the fruits of my labor and know that everything ive done hasnt been for naught. i studied for my lsat for months and months (main reason i was m.i.a.) and finally took it a few days ago. im gonna have to start applying to schools soon sighhh but im actually really excited to start despite all the stress i know its gonna cause me lol. im also going to have a summer break (something i havent had since high school) !!!!!!! im going to be alone and let myself rest and be happy. im going to cook and clean and read and write and do things i love before hunkering down and being a little recluse nerd again in school (something i also love!!!! such a huge part of my personal identity and something i love about myself is my ties to school/academia and being a student) 

if youve read this far, thank you for your interest in my life!?! im not always right in the head and when i last abandoned this blog (and the other one) i know that i was definitely off my rocker but ive been taking steps to recovering my mental health in that regard too. i wont talk much about that but im doing better. being offline, setting boundaries and giving myself goals helped  a lot. im also properly medicated lol.

anyway much love & thx for tolerating me

[jinkicake]

Trying to pull for my counterfeit joestar and he’s just not acting right😔 BUT YOU ARE SO RIGHT BUTING THAT STAR WOULD MAKE HIM BLUE SCREEN AND THEN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY YOU😩 I was just reading a thing about his clone fucking everywhere he can, like imagine albedo just muttering away at his desk and you come to bring him food bc fucking remember to eat and not overwork yourself 🙄 and he’s like “ that you I appreciate it, by the way can you help me with something?” And it’s him testing new potions on you😔 like if your the traveler he will be constantly dragging you into your teapot bc he can fuck you as loud as he wants there👀 I feel like he has a nice dick idk he was scientifically made to be perfect so his dick gotta be the same nice length with a good girth that makes you stare in shock like “ this mf was just hiding that??” I do adore unhinged possessive albedo who will fuck you in-front of his clone to show that your his and into he can fuck you like this…. BUT IM FOR THE STREETS SO IM PLACEING MYSELF INTO HIS AND KAEYA’S CAPABLE HANDS🥰 like they’re so mean bc kaeya likes to tease you and albedo is like how can He make you unravel the fastest. Like kaeya telling bc you how good you are and how well your taking him and albedo using his mouth to absolutely break you and he is gunna stare you dead in the eyes the whole time he sucks at eye contact any other time but when he’s fucking you he wants to see evey face you make. This mf the type to a look at you and slide it in slow

“ your doing so well for me love,just keep taking it for me.”

Like he makes people flustered on purpose bc he’s brutally honest and doesn’t get social cues so your teasing himself like “awwww you starring pretty hard, you like what you se😏” he will look you DEAD IN THE FUCKING EYE without missing a beat and be like

“ yes I do, seeing you like this makes me want to take you over that table right now and make you cum until your crying 😐”

And you’re sitting there slack jawed like,,,, hello?? And when you turn into a human tomato he’s like “??? You asked??? Is it not appropriate to talk about my desires?” DGDHDJ like he’s so open and honest you don’t need to guess what he’s thinking bc he will just say shit. Rip if you try and seduce him bc he will either not get it, get it and completely ignore you to see how far you will go, or sigh, get up from his desk and put your legs over his shoulders and just keep going until your begging him to slow down trying to grab his hands that are gripping your waist for dear life and this little shit will just smile and say” isn’t this what you asked for? You’ll take everything I have to give you” like possibly a breeding kink??👀just more about filling you up and watching it drip out of you. Like albedo is NASTY I can tell oh my god my chest hurts😭 he will do shit that has you covering your face bc where tf did he learn that?? Once again inviting Kaeya over to help you go dumb, like he knows Kaeya has the height so you can have a size kink as a treat🥰🥰 but since he’s not coming home I’m just gunna eat out sucrose infront of him while he’s like tied to a chair like nah you can’t get get anything bc your bad😤😤

omg how many wishes have you spent already? YOU STILL HAVE TIMEEEEEE!!!

theres just something abt albedo and his clone mmmmm,,,, hehehe like yes to fucking the clone and super yes to albedo getting jealous and hate-fucking because of his jealousy of the clone.... yeah! (that kinda reminds me of the xiaos..... kinda need to get raw dogged by both of them tbh)

DO NOTTTTT COME HERE TALKING TO ME ABOUT FUCKING KAEYA AND ALBEDO AT THE SAME TIME bc i will become the nastiest person on the planet..... there's just something about them sighhh

your albedo is so cute, i honestly never thought too much about him other than his ties to khaenriah but now im starting to understand the albedo love.... i truly am... from an albedo lore stan to an albedo love stan..... wow

nawrrrr albedo is NASTY i know he enjoys finishing inside and he literally cums buckets LMFAOOOOOO like it would be everywhere and he'd be so fascinated w it and probably would end up fingering it back into you.... you know,,,, for science~

also i knowwwww hed probs lose his mind in that chair LMAO like RIP the ties and break it.... ooooooh-

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I'm worried about something and I didn't have anyone else to go to, I was on your blog debating on if I should send an ask or not because I know you probably have a lot of them already and I didn't want to add more to that but I don't have anyone else I can really confide in so here I am, I hope this isn't a lot and I'm sorry if it is. Also, I'm sorry if this seems like such a small problem compared to many other asks you get.

I have a situation, it's all really entangled in each other but I'll explain the best way I can, I have something huge I have to do and I've been putting it off because I'm having issues with my anxiety and OCD, and because I've been putting it off, I've ended up not answering a few people close to me and it's been a while since I've talked to them, one particular person is my best friend and I had someone explain why I left yet she's mad I've been gone for a while(for context a few weeks but she knew I'd be gone for a bit but not this long) as I saw her message today and couldn't answer because she said and I quote, "I can't wait to see what lame excuse you come up with this time," and of course it made me feel even worse and scared/anxious.

I have issues with communication, mainly I am afraid to tell people how I really feel due to not wanting to hurt them or have them be mad at me(I've had some mental and emotional abuse from my parents and that's a result of it). I really don't know how to confront her, especially since first before I talk to her again I have to do the huge thing I mentioned in the first paragraph but I'm very anxious about it because I'm scared of failing even though I know I won't fail as it's easy for me to do(it's huge but I've been worrying as it can change a lot in a good way but I don't know why it seems I'm so afraid of change or afraid of being happy, I don't know what I'm worried about). I have to do it now like tomorrow now because that's when there is a 'deadline' for it and it's easy for me but yet I'm scared of doing it, I've never been scared of change, especially good change or maybe I'm scared of failing and being stuck in a horrible situation again, I've been trying not to confront those feelings of fear too much because it brings even more anxiety than I already have.

And about this friend, she's my best friend but she doesn't understand that I can't be there for her all the time(she wants to talk every day and I have a hard time telling her that because she might get mad at me) and we have had a rocky friendship, arguments about a few things and most of the time(well all honestly) I've had to say sorry about things I know I didn't need to or wasn't my fault and somehow she never says sorry either, she's always very "I'm never wrong," and she seems to always make me feel guilty for many things and even though I adore her, I always wonder if my life would be better if we weren't friends or if I would be lonely like I used to. She gave me confidence yet she breaks it down at the same time especially when it feels like she's trying to "mother" me.

There's a lot of stuff I've been through that she knows about and I always have to explain to her why I do certain things and yet she still seems to never understand that I can't always be there for her. I don't expect her to understand everything yet when it comes to her problems and anytime she needs a break, I never complain nor do I get mad at her nor do I make her feel like shit for being away and living her life.

Sighhh, I don't want to make this too long but I hope it wasn't much and that it isn't eaten(Tumblr does that to asks sometimes), thank you for having such a great blog btw! even if you don't get this, I'm still glad to know there are such good people out there willing to take time out of their day to help others and give them even a little peace of mind.

Hi anon,

First of all I'm so sorry to not only hear about the abuse you've been through but also the situation you're in with your friend.

If you want to answer her text, I think you should just be honest and explain how your issues with communication make it difficult to respond. But at the same time I think it's worth highlighting that she has a hard time understanding that you can't always be there, especially that she expects you to talk to her every single day. That's unrealistic and honestly nobody should expect that from a friend. I think it's also a red flag that she doesn't seem to take responsibility for any wrongdoing and refuses to apologize for any reason, as well as making you apologize for things that aren't even your fault.

I want to suggest that while it's nice that she gives you confidence and builds you up, it's not worth the fact that she breaks you down too. I think that while you may feel a sense of loss by breaking ties with her, in the long run it sounds like it may be for the best.

If you want to cut ties with her, it may actually be best to ghost her. I wouldn't usually recommend this but I feel like there's no way to communicate to her that you no longer want to be friends with her without it getting messy. But then again, you know her much better than me, so it's ultimately your call.

At the end of the day, I think it's better to have no friend than a toxic friend. You deserve nothing but the best. I hope everything goes well. Please let us know if you need anything, we're here for you.

-Bun

[doll444luv]

As someone who struggles being the friend taking weeks to respond, It's never been because I was done or annoyed with that friend. Almost always I was going through a depressive period or adhd just made time so blurry during a tough mental patch. Give your friend patience and acceptance I'm sure they don't mean to hurt your feelings.

I know it's never a good feeling even understanding why someone may be isolating themselves. It still hurts when you're friends don't hang out or talk to you the way they used to and I'm trying to work on being better about it myself for my own friends.

Hopefully your friends communicates with you soon! And if they really are avoiding you on purpose then screw them lol, rude lol.

Yeah I completely understand this myself I get it often as well but I just find it so stressful in a way. I obviously don’t want to be selfish and I feel selfish for feeling like there’s times when some of them could’ve messaged me so it’s just so ughhhh I don’t even know cause I feel like an ass.

like I had the exact same thing with a different few friends a few years ago and it’s completely changed me cause immediately I’m starting to think that they hate me or something because that’s what happened last time, I think I need to work on that kind of thing.

Also they messaged last night so I am just being dramatic but it was like I replied and was left on read after they had all been talking the other week so it just really confused me and sent me into a little spiral it was not yolo smh sighhh

Anyways thank youu honestly I hope I build up the courage to ask but at this point I’m willing to just let it pass🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️