#everything is fine im just whining about my anxiety | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rommahh · 3 years ago

Text

Better

Word Count: 3.9K

Pairing: Buckybarnesxfem!reader

{This is for @metalbuckaroo's challenge. I had this brewing for a minute but college has got in a chokehold. I chose prompt #30 from the given prompt list. I hope y'all like this read. Love, R}

Bucky trailed behind Y/N as she ignored his calls. Her boots clicked loudly in the small hallway as she rushed towards their shared apartment. Her keys shook in her hand, body tense with anxiety and anger.

Bucky reached her at the door, his hands loosely gripping her arms. Y/N shoved the door open, her body snapping away from his. Y/N haphazardly throws her keys in the small bowl that sat on the hallway side table.

Her chest heaved with deep breaths as she tried to remain calm.

“Y/N please, what is going on? Why are you so mad?” Bucky questioned, slamming the door behind him as his own frustrations started to catch up with him.

“I'm going to bed.” Is all she said to him without even meeting his eyes. She was quick to enter her room and lock the door before he could say anymore. Bucky stood behind her door in confusion. His body still tingled with the lasting effects of the shots he took hours prior.

Sitting on your bed, Y/N finally released. Her shoulders dropped, her body hunching over itself as the tears started flowing.

Y/N had been looking for Bucky for what felt like hours. He was her ride back to the apartment and having been at this party for over four hours- she was exhausted. There was a twinge of disappointment that lingered in her caused by Bucky's disappearance. He invited her to this party tonight but quickly left her to her own devices the moment the both of them walked through the frat’s doors.

The house was mainly empty except for the few lingering bodies that were drunkenly wandering around. She climbed up the stairs that lead to a common room on the second floor. Y/N’s cute white go-go boots were tight on your feet, making her wince at every step. Fashion was a moment type thing, not a four hour long excursion.

Y/N heard a group of voices leading from the common room once you reached the top of the stairs. She listened out waiting to see if she could hear Bucky’s voice before walking through the doors of the common room.

“I don't know why you hang out with that girl Bucky.” Her ears perked at his name. Y/N almost walked through the door but she took a step back to listen to what they were saying.

“Yeah, shes fucking weird.” The group laughed. “I mean look at how she dressed tonight. She’s wearing a costume.”

Y/N looked down at her 80’s inspired dress with a frown. She thought she looked cute tonight, Bucky said she looked cute. She couldn't stop blushing after she heard his words.

“She’s a freak barnes. All she does is follow you around. Are you sure you guys aren't dating?” One of the boys asked with a chuckle. No one said her name yet but she knew they were talking about her. She could tell.

“Y/N’s not that bad. She just doesn't have any friends. I don't like her like that, not my type. She's got that weird anxiety thing.” Bucky's voice finally sounded out from the group. Y/N heart hurt hearing his words. Weird anxiety thing?

“Yeah, making her a freak. So you're just friends with her out of pity? Are you at least getting community service hours?” The group laughed again, Bucky's deep laugh standing out to Y/N.

“You have a lot of strength for a man who's not getting any ass from the girl he's keeping company with. Shes weird as fuck but her body is still bangin. Have you ever copped a feel of her tits? I would hang out with the loser if I got to fuck her too.” Someone commented. Y/N felt bile rise in her throat. She could feel a panic attack approaching having heard the sexual comments about her body. She stepped out from around the wall into the common room. All eyes snapped up to her, some eyes widening in shock. Bucky just looked up, not catching on that his roommate may have heard the horrid words said about her.

“I-im ready to go home, Bucky.” She hadn't looked up from where her feet were rooted on the stained wood floors. Bucky slowly wobbled up from his seat. The rest of the guys watching quietly, some snickering at Bucky's submissiveness.

“Here sweets, you're gonna have to drive.” Bucky says handing his keys over to Y/N. Without looking at him, she snatches the keys from his hands and quickly retreats to his car. Bucky stumbles behind her confused by her attitude.

Y/N walked to Bucky’s car, arms covering whatever they could cover on her body. Her mind telling her she was unsafe, her anxiety telling her even worse things.

Bucky eyes burned from the headache he had. He felt physically ill as he woke up from the living room couch. Last night's activities blur in his mind, no clear memories presenting themselves. He sits up to rest his forearms on his knees trying to calm his bubbling stomach.

The first thing he notices as he comes to his senses is the lack of Y/N’s noise. Normally the small apartment would be filled with the sounds of her sunday playlist as she cleans about. He also doesn't smell her extra dark and strong coffee that she only makes for sundays. He doesnt smell her out of the can cinnamon rolls either that she would normally wake him up with on a small tray with said coffee.

He finds it odd that her presence is lacking in the apartment. Standing, he makes his way over to her room knocking on it slightly. He hears shuffling from the other side but no one comes to open the door.

“Hey sweets, everything ok?” He knocks again to gain her attention.

“I-Im fine Bucky, please go away.” She stutters out to Bucky. Bucky is shocked by her statement not used to being pushed away by her.

“Oh ok, just let me know if you need anything.” He says quietly.

Y/N remained the same way over the next few days. She rarely came out of her room when she was in the apartment leaving Bucky on his own. She stopped making him meals out of kindness or filling up his canisters of water for workouts. She stopped baking him treats as midday pick me ups. She didnt wait for him to get out of classes so they could gossip about what was going on on campus. She didnt bother him at all.

Bucky felt uneasy about Y/N’s silence. He was hurt by her sudden disappearance. Hurt that she could just ghost him without any reason. But there was a reason, Bucky just didnt remember.

Y/N sluggishly walked into the apartment after taking an extensive exam in one of her classes. She tried to walk quietly throughout the apartment to not catch the attention of Bucky. She walks softly on her feet close to the opening of the kitchen.

“Hey.” A quiet voice makes Y/N jump in her spot. Her mission of going unnoticed failed. Bucky leans against the kitchen counter that is parallel to the opening of the kitchen. His feet are crossed in front of him, hands holding a cup of tea.

“Hi.” Her tone matches his. She turns her body to face his, hands fidgeting with each other. She slightly moved from foot to foot, a trait that had been acquired out of nerves. Bucky recognized her tic, his heart constricting at the thought that he might have done something to cause it.

“Y/N, please, what's going on?” Bucky can see that she's not wearing one of her normal outfits that are adorned in bright colors and fun patterns. Instead, her body is covered in a boring sweater that hides most of her body. She wears a large pair of jeans underneath, a belt tightly bounding it to her body.

“Nothing Bucky.” She dismisses. Bucky feels his anger peak. A range of emotion he tried to hide away breaching over its point. He missed his best friend beyond belief and all she could give was a few words.

“It's not nothing Y/N!” He snaps slamming his mug of tea on the counter. Y/N flinches at the sound. Her hands start to shake, not out of fear of Bucky but from unwarranted anxiousness. “I've given you your space but its killing me. I miss you Y/N. I dont get what happened?”

Y/N feels her eyes well up with tears.

“You hurt me Bucky.” It was Bucky’s turn to flinch hearing her words. He hurt her?

“I don't know what I did though.” His voice sounded childlike as he whined.

“At the party, you let your friends talk poorly about me. You-you let them call me a freak and-and weird. They made fun of my clothes and said you were hanging out with me out of pity and you just sat there and laughed James!” Her voice rose with every word. Bits and pieces of that night float around in his head. He can slightly remember the conversation but nothing is clearly showing in his head.

“I'm sorry they said that Y/N but you know that's not true. We both know our relationship, I don't know why you're letting them get to you.”

“They talked about my anxiety. You talked about my anxiety!”

“That's it? That's why you're not talking to me?” He exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

“You let them sexualize me!” The kitchen filled with an uncomfortable silence. Bucky’s exterior softened.

“What?” His tone was drastically softer than it was earlier.

“You just sat and listened to them as they talked about my body. They talked about my boobs and if youve had sex with me and you said nothing. They said that they would hang with the loser if they could fuck me...How could you let them say that about me?” Y/N whimpered. Her hands cradled her face as she sobbed. Bucky saw the way her chest heaved with each sob, tears forming in his own eyes.

“I didn't know. I wouldn't have let them say those things sober. You have to know that.” He almost fell to his knees pleading for her forgiveness.

“You even said you wouldn't date me. I know its stupid but I thought you liked me back. You told me you loved me. You've taken me out on dates. You've kissed me for goodness sake!”

“I know and I'm sorry. I do like you, I don't know why I said that. I like you so much.” His knees buckled slightly but he held his ground.

“Obviously you dont Bucky. We should just stay away from each other from now on and I won't be renewing my leasing contract at the end of the semester.” She finalizes. Buckys whispers a small no in protest. “You really hurt me, Bucky. I would never let anyone slander you. I respect you too much to allow for someone else to disrespect you.”

With that being said, she gave Bucky one last look over before walking away. Bucky was knocked out of his thoughts at the sound of her door slamming shut and the lock being secured.

Bucky sat on the kitchen floor, the cold tile seeping through his pants to chill his legs. His face adorned with a frown, tears sliding down his warm cheeks. Y/N was his best friend and he ruined it by being a shitty person. He knows he should have defended her, defended their relationship.

Bucky’s rolly chair was his only source of entertainment at his desk in the lobby of the admissions office. Today was a slow day. There were only a few students who came in asking for help finding buildings or looking for the financial aid office. Some high school student came in for tours but his coworkers beat him to doing tours so here he was stuck in the quiet office. He had already stolen a large amount of guest snacks, a cold bottle of tea and a sugar cookie with the school's logo on it.

His chair spinning activities came to a halt when he heard the front door open with a small jingle sounding from it. He took a moment to let the dizziness fade away before he looked up. Bucky felt his breath stop in his throat.

There stood a girl with overalls and a bright colored top. She wore dark green converse, high tops, with frilly socks that peeked from the top. She had large glasses that framed her face perfectly. She was looking around the office, eyes wide with wonder. Her eyes finally met Bucky's, making a large smile appear on her face.

“Hi!” She exclaimed walking up to Bucky’s desk.

“Hey, what can I help you with today?” Bucky asked cooly.

“I just transferred here and I was wondering if you knew where I could apply for on campus jobs?” She placed her hands on top of the counter of Bucky’s desk. He admired her baby blue acrylics that had white flowers on them.

“Oh um, the admissions office is hiring. We do all of the tours for highschool students, or package and mail acceptance letters. Sometimes we plan scholarship events. It's an easy pay type of job. I just sit here and do homework my whole shift.” Bucky answers. “What's your name so I can get my boss to contact you?”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky quickly scribbled your name on a post it note and stuck it to his laptop as a reminder. “Do you really like this job or are you just trying to pull me in?” She jests with a small smile on her face.

“I mean it's a decent job but im sure with you working here it would make it ten times prettier.” Bucky smirked at the giggle that escaped Y/N. He wasn't normally a flirt but he couldn't help himself with this one.

“Oh really? How many times have you said that line to a girl?” Bucky put a hand to his chest in a fake offense.

“You think too low of me Y/N. I saved that one for the prettiest girl to walk through the door.”

“Hmm, ok. I'll believe it only because my ego needs this boost. Hey, you never told me your name. How am I supposed to write about this encounter in my journal if I don't have your name?”

“My name is James but I prefer if people just call me Bucky. Short for Buchanon, I know it's weird.” Bucky leans back in his chair, arms crossed. He can see her eyes checking out the way his muscles flex underneath his long sleeve shirt. He may have purposefully flexed a little extra for show.

“No, I love it. I dont think ive ever met a Bucky.” She counters. She leans forward, placing her elbows on the counter, her chest pressed against the front of the counter.

“Well I'm glad I'm your first Bucky.” He jokes with a small smile on his face. There was a small moment of silence shared between the two as they just looked at each other. Bucky couldn't help but think about how cute she was as Y/N thought the same thing.

“Oh gosh, I'm probably holding you up from your work.” She snaps out of her little spell rolling her eyes at herself. “I should get going.”

Bucky frowned at the idea of her leave, wanting nothing more than to continue talking to the new girl.

“Right, of course. Maybe I could get your number...so I can notify you about the job.” Bucky proposes. Y/N raises one eyebrow in question, a knowing smile placed on her lips.

“Sure thing bucky.” He hands her a pen and post it for her number. “I wouldn't be opposed to you using this number for things other than work too.” She suggested. She signed her name on the post it note ending it with a small heart.

“I will definitely take you up on that offer. No take backs though when I start sending you random shit.” She giggled, leaning up from her spot. Bucky basked at the sweet sound. He stood up to meet her on the other side of the desk.

“Well Bucky, it was lovely to meet you.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake, he reciprocated the action. Her hands were soft and warm, he thought. She gave him one last smile before walking away.

It was warm outside on the quad as Bucky sat by himself. He sat at the table that would normally be occupied by Y/N and him. Y/N would bring lunch- made by her. Anytime Bucky would try to help her by making lunch she would kick him out of the kitchen. Today, Bucky sat by himself, with no hand made lunch. He had a greasy bag of french fries and a large coke. He planned on eating his sorrows away.

“Hey Bucky!” A voice yelled out to him. Looking up from his fries, Bucky looked towards the sound that broke him out of his fries excursion. Tanner and Logan, his friends from the party, came walking over to him. They both sat down, throwing their lunch onto the table.

“Where's Ms. weirdo?” Tanner asks, mouth full of food. Bucky grimaced at Tanner's manners. He also felt the anger he should have felt on Saturday bloom in his chest.

“She's not weird.” Bucky snapped, fists tightening in his lap. Tanner scoffed, Logan laughing along with him.

“Says you. She is fucking weird. Did you finally get some from her or something? Defending her and shit.” Logan clapped Tanner on his back agreeing with him. “Shit, good for you dude. I would have fucked her a while ago. Probably would have kept her face down so I wouldn't have to see her-”

Before Tanner could finish his sentence, he was thrown from his seat from the powerful punch being landed on his jaw. His feet flew from where he was sitting, landing on his back with a heavy thud.

“Dude what the fuck?” Tanner stood wiping his face from the blood that started to trickle down from his bloody eyebrow. Bucky had never felt anger like this before. His heart was racing, his breathing labored. His cheeks were red and warm, eyebrows turned down.

“No, you don't get to make fun of her and make sexual comments about her.” Bucky snarled. Tanner rolled his eyes, walking closer to Bucky.

“Oh fuck off with that! You didn't defend her this hard on saturday.” Tanner's mistake after his words was shoving Bucky's shoulders back. Bucky reacted quickly by shoving Tanner with even more force.

Tanner threw a punch to Bucky’s jaw, making his head fly back. Bucky tackled Tanner to the ground, throwing punches left and right. Tanner fought back, hands flying landing punches wherever he could land them.

Logan was able to pull Bucky off of Tanner, warning the two that campus police would arrest them if they were caught. Both boys stared at each other fuming. Bucky snatched his trash and his backpack up, the scowl never leaving his face.

“If I ever see you looking or talking to Y/N, I will bash your face in.” Bucky growled.

Y/N felt better today. She found the strength to wear a cute outfit versus the oversized clothes she had been wearing prior out of fear. She didn't want anyone to look at her in any harmful way. She wanted to wear her cute outfits that were sometimes form fitting and short. She liked to wear her cute period pieces that had her own twist on them. She spent many years hating her body and the way she looked. She deserved to feel cute without thinking she is at fault for being sexualized and poorly treated.

She whipped out one of her favorite outfits today, loving the way it fit on her body making her feel confident. Sitting at the front desk of the admissions office, her feet propped up on the desk. Her shift was going by slowly, no one needing assistance this late in the day.

The door burst open making Y/N jump from her seat. She stood up shocked to see Bucky walk in with a huff. He wasn't supposed to work today but here he was. Y/N gasped looking at his cut lip and bruising eye.

“Bucky, what happened?” She maneuvered her way around the desk to stand in front of the beat up boy. She placed both of her hands on his cheeks to examine his injuries. He moved his face away from her tears brimming his eyes.

“I'm sorry Y/N. I'm really sorry. I should have protected you from them. I should've told them not to speak about you that way. You are more than some eye candy for men to act disgusting towards. You are beautiful and eclectic. You have a brilliant mind that shines brighter than anyone elses on this campus.” He spoke to her softly.

“I don't understand Bucky. What made you have this change of heart? You didn't give two shits about me last weekend.” She crossed her arms defensively.

“I know and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe it was the alcohol but that's no excuse. I love you. I love all of you. You're not weird. You're your own person and I love everything about you. You do so much for me and I feel like shit for not doing the bare minimum for you.” His words stunned her.

“You love me?”

“God, with everything I have. Since the day you walked in here with those overalls. I've spent the past four years loving you.” Bucky whispered. He grabbed her hand, thumb rubbing over her knuckles.

“I love you too, Bucky. I really do and I'm hurt. I don't think the hurt will go away for some time. You let them speak horribly about me. If you loved me like I was your girl, you would have defended me.” She spoke sorrowfully.

“I know, I know. I can't change the fact that I did nothing but I can tell you that I'm sorry. I'm always going to protect you. I did today. Tanner may be sporting a nasty goose egg on his eye because of his dumbass words.” Y/N giggled softly, touching his bruising knuckles.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“I want to go back to normal. I miss you in the mornings and-and during our lunch breaks outside. I miss you.” Bucky stated.

“I miss you too.”

Bucky watched her eyes drop down to his lip, busted and all. He leaned forward slightly hoping she would meet him in the middle. She met him the rest of the way pressing her lips to his. Bucky relished this moment. He relished to be even sharing moments with the girl he's been in love with since the second he saw her.

“I'm gonna be better, I promise.”

#metalbuck's 2k writing challenge #college!bucky #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky angst #bucky x y/n #james buchanan barnes

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darthwheezely · 4 years ago

Note

okay im backkkkk 💌 anything kinda angsty for fred pls (like a break up but theres a bit of making up at the end pls

resentment and reconciliation- f.w. hcs

Warnings: this one kinda hurt to write I’m ngl, I love you Jess but DAMN - cussing probably, mentions of slut shaming, actual smut, a lOT OF ANGST, hateful!fred

THIS WILL BE SO UNGODLY LONG THIS IS BASICALLY A PSUEDO ONE SHOT

people that might like this(?): @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @theweasleyslut @loony-loopy-lupinn @lupinsclassroom @vivianweasley @oh-for-merlins-sake @kitwalker02 @tatesimper @gcdric @slytherinsunrise @lumosandnoxwriting

you and Fred were friends...

...simply friends

yep

mhm

only friends

friends that liked to casually dominate each other multiple times a week

sometimes multiple times a day

but regardless of your entirely messy relationship, you were best friends

...weren’t you?

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so goddamn tight me,” Fred hissed as he was pounding inside of you, determined to release some kind of frustration from seeing you with George for the whole day when you both knew you had really just wanted to spend the day with Fred. Right?

“Freddie, you feel so good” you said airily as he hiked up one of your legs onto one of his shoulders.

“Yeah, princess? You like the way I fill you up so good, make you fucking mine?” When you moaned in response he threw your other leg onto the opposite shoulder, determined to show you just how much you were his, and what that meant for him. He had been watching you for months pretend nothing was happening outside this room, and regardless if you knew it or not, it had been killing him the day he agreed to your rendezvous the first time.

“Yes, Freddie, fuck, yes”

“Gonna come for me, sweet girl?”

“God, yes, Fred-“ and with a harsh thrust to your g-spot you clenched around him tightly, your body releasing onto him in a massive wave. He put his free hand that didn’t have your arms pinned above you to your clit, determined to have you as overstimulated as possible.

“Fred, please-“ you whined vehemently at his rough touch.

“I’m coming baby, I’m right here” and with a final pound he had smoothed your walls with him, the throbbing finally subsiding. He rolled his hips slowly to ride out his high, and he then pulled out, falling to your side and pulling you into his arms. He could feel your heart pounding as your breasts heaved against him, desperate for air flow where he had rid you of it all.

“We haven’t held each other like this in a while, Freddie...it’s...it’s really nice.” You whispered against his bare chest, pressing a kiss or two there. He nodded and buried his mouth in your hair, fluttering his eyes.

“I promise I’ll take every opportunity to hold you, okay?”

that was tuesday

let’s skip to Thursday morning

you had only told one other person about your complicated relationship with Fred, and that was Hannah Abbot

you trusted her, you saw her as your BEST friend

but unfortunately, good ol’ hannah didn’t really feel the same

she had it out for you when Roger Davies had confessed he had a crush on you at the Yule Ball, kissed you even, against your consent

see, he was Hannah’s date

and she didn’t like that very much

to top it allllll off?

she had been casually crushing on Fred ever since she had her heart broken by Roger

so now here you all were, seventh year and you assumed as per usual that everything was fine

when clearly, unbeknownst to you

this bitch saw you six feet under

so Hannah did what she knew would hurt you the most

she told Roger :)

“Please he’s absolutely balls deep in love with her, but poor thing doesn’t know she’s using him for a roll in the sack.” Said Hannah, filing her nails in the courtyard. Roger looked at her absolutely dumbfounded.

“No, Y/N, isnt like that. And besides, Fred’s a good mate of mine and...She just wouldn’t do that to him. Feelings or not, she’s not one to use people.” He shook his head starting to get up from the tree he’d been leaning on.

“Well, she used you, didn’t she?” She purred demurely. He turned to look at her, jaw clenched.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He gritted out.

“She’s making him her personal whore, exactly like she did when she rejected you at the Ball...I mean...cmon, Rog. Don’t people deserve to know who she really is?”

everyone had heard the next day how Y/N was fucking Fred Weasley like an Olympic sport

and how he wasn’t the one coming out on top for the first time

at first he didn’t know what he did when he walked into the Great Hall to stares and whispers

George had tried to get him to go back to bed so he could bring him food

but fred demanded answers

and when he found out what it was

...he was crushed

You walked into the cascading staircase, bounding up the stairs. It was Thursday night, you and Fred’s night to be alone while George and Lee would be hanging out. You walked into the room to see Fred, throwing things onto his bed and looking angry and...hurt?

“Fred, what-what is all this?” He didn’t look at you, just continued to pick stuff up off the floor, and got one of your bras. He threw it at you.

“It’s all your shit, Y/N. Might as well help since this is the last time you’ll ever be in my room. Or around me again quite frankly.” He started to look down again and keep working but he heard you whimper and his eyes flashed up to yours. He started to laugh harshly. “Oh my god, stop.” He rolled his eyes and threw his arms out. “You got what you wanted from me didn’t you, Y/N? Quick shag and no feelings and knowing you had an entire fucking human being completely and utterly devoted to you with, what did Ron say? ‘Half the commitment’?” He smiled at you but it was one with rage, with tears pooling at his eyes, pain emitting off his body in hot waves. He didn’t even know he was shouting.

“I mean, Jesus, I’m in love with you and you got to go on and-and fuck whoever you want because guess what at the end of the day you get to tell everyone that Fred fucking Weasley is your own personal whore and would do anything for you and that just got you where you wanted it didn’t it? Didn’t it?” He had stopped yelling, his heart pounding as he took in the sight of you fully in tears now, flinching at him quietly. He felt immediately then like he was going to throw up, something wasn’t right, you usually were so fiery and assertive and here you were looking like a dog that got kicked repeatedly. He swallowed thickly. “Get your stuff and get the fuck out I can’t stand the sight of you.”

Without looking at him you reached onto his bed and grabbed everything you could carry, and swiftly left the room. Everyone in the Gryffindor common room, except George, looking at you with pure unbridled disdain.

George was the only it seemed, that cared about you at this time for the next couple weeks

He didn’t tell Fred, but it had been George that had been sneaking up food to you in your dorm room

It had been George that had sent you little notes in class that said things like

I love you, Y/N. I believe in you, okay?

He even visited your dorm one day when you couldn’t move so much as one leg off your bed, and he caught you then, while you were sobbing about the loss of Fred and yourself and he held you and put you back in bed

and waited until you fell back asleep and moved the hair out of your face

he needed to tell Fred the truth

meanwhile, Fred was floundering

he had fallen back into his coping mechanism of sex and violence, mostly the first one

he had started hooking up with virtually everyone in his year that he’d ever rejected

after all - fred was labeled as a slut so why not act like one

if there was anything Fred was good at, it was being loud

in bed it had never been an issue - in fact, it was a talent now, yeah?

he’d been hearing it around school for weeks now

how easy he was

how much he would do to get in a girl’s pants

how he dipped his wick in anything that moved

anything and everything

he got it from girls

“c’mon freddie can i take a ride just once”

to the guys

“Oi freddie, you let your mates hit it for free too?”

if it were from a guy he’d usually swing a punch

or 12

he’d gotten in his most fights that he ever had in any of his years at hogwarts

but then Georgie came along:

George had waited on Fred’s bed, as his twin was in the shower. Lucky for Fred, George had been able to trace Roger’s little dip in the gossip system all the way back to Hannah Abbott, who everyone knew was bullshit, and had decided to let his brother know exactly what kind of a supreme asshat he was being to their best friend (and the love of Fred’s life, let’s be super honest.)

“Georgie, what the hell are you doing-”

“About to give you the whip cracking of your life, dear brother.” George swung his legs off the bed as Fred continued to dry his hair in the mirror, rolling his eyes.

“Is this about the last girl I had by? We didn’t fuck on your bed if that’s what you’re so worried about.” Fred quipped and George took everything in his power to not bitch slap the hell out of his older twin. George clenched his jaw and rolled it.

“You fucked up, Freddie.” He said quietly. Fred turned slowly to look at him. “Excuse me?”. “You. Fucked. Up.” George said a bit louder. “Y/N got played. By Hannah Abbott and Roger Davies. She’s had a crush on you this whole time, you absolute dumb piece of shit.” And then George did push Fred then backwards onto the bathroom wall, but he was too dumbfounded by the usually sensible twin’s behavior to do anything back.

“That’s-I don’t understand-“

“Oh my god, Fred. Hannah’s been in love with for ages, she lied. To everyone. Roger did too, he’s wanted to get with Y/N since day 1 you know that just as well as I do.” Fred tightened his arm, thinking about Roger with his lips and arms on you that night last year-

“Your point? She still said that shit about me” he said gruffly, but a pool of anxiety swirled in his stomach all the same

“Don’t you get it? Y/N is in love with you. She didn’t say or do anything to hurt you. At all. She hasn’t been eating, she hasn’t been doing homework, she throws up constantly, she’s barely left bed but to go to the library and usually all she does there is sleep anyway, she cries all the time and it’s been me making sure she still is present if not to just see people every damn day! So quit youre moping and fix this shit or I swear to God, Freddie, I’ll knock your block off.” George was heaving, pools of water in his eyes as he swallowed. “She’s my best friend too, you know.”

Fred looked up at George then and had started to cry. All of those things he said, all of the words he spat at her like they could burn her skin and cause some of the pain he believed she had caused him, when in reality you had-you had done nothing wrong.

“Georgie, I’m sorry” he choked.

“I know you are. But I’m not the one to say it to right now...you’ve gotta find her, Freddie. Please.”

you had been in the corner of the quidditch stands

the wind was blowing against your hair

you couldn’t be in your room anymore, it started to smell like you

and you, prior to an hour ago, didn’t smell too appetizing

you reeked of sweat and tears and your own sick

you took a shower so hot you wanted it to burn you alive

maybe sanitize the last of your fear and your hurt away

you had lost weight, you had lost feeling

you all in all had just lost

and you had never wanted to go home so badly, already considering writing home

you hated being reminded that your best friend and crush hated you

wanted you to be hated by everyone else too

but then, you heard footsteps

“Y/N?” Fred whispered to himself as he saw you in the stands. You looked so worn, so lifeless sitting there - he almost didn’t recognize you from the way your hair, usually scrunched up and bouncy had fallen flatly against your face, further slapped around by the wind outside. You had been wearing an oversized sweater and your sweatpants had pooled around your ankles. Simply put, you were miserable.

“Y/N?” He called again once he was standing in front of you. You turned to look at him in what felt like slow motion, but when you locked eyes with him, you immediately felt fearful.

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll leave now” you sputtered

“No, hey, wait, please” he reached out to grab your arm and you froze, letting him take it. He looked at you, with a flash of fear and worry on your face and he wanted to throw up knowing he was the one that made you feel like that.

“Fred, please let go” you hoarsely whispered.

“No, love, I’m not going to let go I have some things to apologize for.”

You started to cry, eyes dropping again to his hand on your arm and breathing feeling suddenly like a very hard task. “You hate me now: you sobbed and you pulled yourself from his grip, turning away from him and gathering your bag. He started to scramble for your hold again tears starting to stream down his face

“No, angel, please, I could never hate you”

“Oh? What about those things you said to me in your room-” you were walking faster over the benched seats, making your way to the other side.

“I know I know I said those things in my room but I can’t believe them because you have to believe me when I tell you I’m in love with you” and he was sobbing at your body turned away from him. You turned to look at him with a skeptical quirk of your face.

“No, no you don’t.” You spat.

“Yes, Y/N, I do please let me explain” he said earnestly taking in your bright eyes and the furrow of your brow.

“People who love each other don’t scream at them and throw things.” You said flatly. You wanted him to be true but you couldn’t make yourself believe him.

“Just give me five minutes of your time and-and if you hate me you never have to see me again. Please.” He closed the gap between you two and motioned for you to sit down. You licked a tear from your lip and nodded siting on a bench besides him.

“Hannah and Roger told everyone-”

“I know what happened. What they did. I want to hear about you. And what you said. And are saying” you looked at him in the eyes with steel burning behind your irises.

He sighed and rubbed his jaw. “I thought that what we had was purely sex in your eyes. And I was too much of a coward to ever ask you, so when I heard someone tell me that my own insecurities could possibly be true,” he inhaled a harsh breath as tears started to fall “I-I was crushed. By the idea that you saw me as what other people saw me as...as a toy? I guess? Or a sexual prop? To use when you wanted. But I hide my feelings a lot as you know, so even if you did feel that way, it would’ve looked like I agreed because I hate you knowing how sad I am,” he started to choke on his tears, the anguish of knowing he hurt you this much was too much for him to ever be able to handle. “I just wanted to hold you and whisper in your ear and tell you how much I love you and the thought of my own fears being true pushed you away. And you never have to forgive me. I-when I yelled at you like that I wanted to see you hurt, I think. I wanted you to see how sad it made me to think about you with other people like you had been with me and” he took a final breath and you pulled his body into you. “Y/N, my love I’m so sorry.” His sobs shook your body, the feeling and angle of the destroyed boy you love shaking you everywhere. You pressed kisses to his head. “Freddie, I love you” you repeated “I love you here and here and here and here and here” and with every kiss you gave him, you were determined to soothe him. “I-I’ sorry too, for not being as forthright with you about how i felt too. It’s always been you, Freddie.” He choked out a watery smile and he leaned in to kiss your face everywhere he could, his tears stinging against the wind and your cheeks.

“If-If you could ever be with me I will always be open to it at any time, you know that don’t you? I-I understand if you can’t.” He held his forehead to yours, his nose brushing yours ever so slightly.

“Freddie, I love you. You were who I missed when I couldn’t get out of bed for fuck’s sake you’re all I want,” and he leaned into you then fully, capturing your wet and chapped lips against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he melted into you like this

this

this was fred weasley

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley headcanons #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley smut #harry potter #harry potter headcanon #Harry Potter smut

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mintugiyuu · 4 years ago

Note

oh! its okay, i'll try to word it as close as possible to the first time.

may i please have the main group with a trans male reader who is stealth and kind of scared of how they'll react coming out to them?

(gosh i hope thats close enough, my memory is not the best,,)

thank you so much!!

thank you so so much for resending this!! I’m so sorry it got deleted the first time around, it was early in the morning and I wasn’t using my noggin when I was trying to draft it ;3;

for the kamaboko squad, I left it so it could be interpreted as romantic or platonic! for nezuko I did it more platonically, I hope that was ok! thank you for requesting and I hope these are enjoyable to read! I hope you’re well <3

꒰🌤꒱ — as it’s always been.

sfw scenarios + head-canons

➥ characters || kamado tanjirou, kamado nezuko, hashibira inosuke, agatsuma zenitsu

➥ warnings || none

➥ synopsis || the reader hesitantly comes out as trans to the kamaboko squad, nervous to what they’ll think and say; here is how they would react.

➥ kamado tanjirou:

- Tanjirou has a great sense of smell, so there’s no hiding your anxiety/nervousness about coming out. He’s most certainly going to ask you what’s wrong, nothing but concerned for your state of being.

- As you’re explaining and officially coming out to him, he’s very attentive; nodding and making sure you knew he was listening.

- He knows this must be very hard and nerve-wracking for you, so he lets you finish speaking before responding himself.

- Tanjirou, being the sweetheart he is, immediately reassures you that he thinks no different of you and still loves you through and through!

- If he’s honest, he’s a bit surprised. The boy definitely wasn’t expecting this, but regardless he’s very glad that you’re happy with who you are and honored that you trust him enough with this information.

- Expect lots of words of support and small actions of comfort/affection. Tanjirou immediately pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as he tells you how proud he is of you, and how the information you told him will stay between you two (unless/until you tell the others; he knows it’s not in his place). He’d hold both your hands to his chest as he promises you that nothing has changed between the two of you, giving you his infamous gentle smile.

- Like he promised, nothing changes between you two. Everything is as it was before, and unless you want to talk about the topic at hand, he won’t even bring it up. It just goes to show he doesn’t mind what so ever and supports you all the way!

➥ kamado nezuko

- When it comes to Nezuko as a demon, she doesn’t really have a true understanding of anything that’s going on around her; she goes with her emotions and the emotions she’s picking up around her. Of course, she can tell when there’s danger and understand basic conversations. But other than that, all she really can understand is protect, sleep, and head pats.

- So you wouldn’t outright come out to her, knowing she probably wouldn’t understand regardless. It happens by accident, kind of.

- She spends her days in a dark room of the butterfly mansion as the others are healing, either sleeping or doing her own thing. You’re probably pacing around the room, trying to plan out how to officially tell the other boys and properly come out to them.

- Nezuko notices your distress from where she was playing with a handkerchief you gave to her after one of your missions.

- “Hmmmph!”

- In other words, she’s grabbing your attention, looking lost to why you’re pacing. In a “hey! what are you doing?” kind of way.

- When you didn’t notice her attempts, she huffs, hopping off the bed and making her way to you. She’s in her small form currently, trying to regain her energy but wanting to be awake to be in your company.

- You’d feel her tug at your uniform, making several muffled questionable noises at your pacing. If you tried to brush her off, telling her “it’s nothing”, she’s calling you out on your bull and tugging you to the bed.

- Sit criss-cross and watch her crawl into your lap as a toddler would do to an older sibling (for she saw you as another big brother), grabbing your arms and making it so you were hugging her.

- This gives you no room but to explain yourself, so you did. As you come out to her and explain how you’re nervous to tell the others, she’d.. not be the most understanding.

- Understanding as in she doesn’t comprehend what you’re telling her. But she does her best to listen, feeling how important this is to you and how anxious you’re reacting.

- She cuts you off of a nervous ramble of all the bad outcomes with a head-pat to your head, closing her eyes with a small “hmhmph!” coming from under her muzzle.

- Expect a good ole Kamado hug, tiny edition. And she’s not letting you go, not even when it was time for dinner.

- She calms you, knowing in your heart that even if she’s not completely aware, she still loves you and hopefully the others will as well (they will of course).

- Before you have to go, she grips onto your sleeve and pulls the muzzle off her mouth, giving you a sharp toothed smile. Before you can tell her to put it back on, that you don’t want anyone to see her with it off, but she gets one word out with the biggest beaming smile.

- “Oniisan!” (“Big Brother!”)

- .... and pats her head. She wants head pats too. Nothing’s changed, you’re still the best head pat giver she knows.

➥ !! spoilers for chapter 204 !! bonus: after the final battle, if you were to come out to a now human Nezuko, she’d react much like Tanjirou; just a lot more bubbly with more bright smiles. Unlike Tanjirou, she’d be more.. “aggressively” supportive. Basically, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands at anyone who says something purposely ignorant. It’s terrifyingly sweet; no one messes with her big brother.

➥ hashibira inosuke

- Inosuke has very sensitive skin, so he’s getting goosebumps from the anxiety your giving off. It annoys and confuses him, not understanding what’s going on for you to be so nervous.

- “Oi! You’re making my skin prickly!! Stop that!!”

- It’s his way of asking what’s wrong, wanting to know how to stop it.

- Your anxiety hits an all time high as you let it out, officially coming out to him.

- ... But he doesn’t know what “trans” means, so he’s confused. He stands there, blinking under his pig mask.

- “... What? What the hell is that?” He may sound brash, but he just hates not understanding things. He wants to understand more than everyone else, after all, so don’t take it personally.

- After a long bit of explaining it clearly to him, you two are sitting on the ground, Inosuke with his hands in his lap as he stares at you.

- He’s surprisingly silent the whole way through, and not being able to see his true facial expression just makes you all the more nervous.

- If you were to nervously ask him to take his mask off, you were expecting a hard no. What you weren’t expecting was for him to hesitate for only a moment before taking it off, setting it down in to his lap.

- Inosuke’s eyebrows would be furrowed, his mouth turned down as he looked at you closely. Bracing yourself, he responded.

- “So?”

- That definitely isn’t what you would be expecting.

- Now he didn’t mean this in any negative connotation at all. He fully understands what it means now and what you told him - and to note he’s completely fine with it - he’s just confused to why it’s such a big deal. (If anything he respects you even more, finding you extremely strong.)

- Inosuke doesn’t care how you were born or what you choose to be; at the end of the day you’re his favorite sparring partner! Plus, he has to keep you around. He wants to understand the warm fuzzies he gets in his tummy when you do nice things for him.

- “Doesn’t matter what you are, I can still kick your ass!!” He says as he tackles you to the ground.

- All’s well ends well, and much like Tanjirou, it seems nothing would change between you two.

➥ agatsuma zenitsu

- The high-pitched anxiety sound emitting from you is giving Zenitsu a headache; he’ll make sure to complain about it loudly so you know.

- If you apologized for it while fidgeting, he’ll soften his whining tone and ask why you’re so nervous anyways? It’s day, so it’s not like you have demons to fear.

- You hesitate, stuttering around the topic before officially coming out, explaining that to him and why you’re so nervous.

- Zenitsu.. definitely was not expecting that. He’d go wide-eyed, clearly shocked at the information.

- “HUH??? YOU’RE WHAT???”

- If you were to flinch at his shouts, he’d pause and look to you; watching how you curled up on yourself, scared you looked for a bad reaction.

- Instead he immediately goes to reassure you.

- “IM SORRY!! I-I didn’t mean it like that!! PROMISE! I just wasn’t expecting that!! I wouldn’t ever have guessed!!- I MEAN-!!” He’s talking way to fast for you to even understand, so the more you looked lost the more Zenitsu feared he messed up the trust you must’ve had for him in order to tell him that.

- Eventually he’d break down, getting on his hands and knees while bowing his head to the floor, gripping your pant leg all while begging you to forgive him.

- You’re the one who originally needed comfort here, not him. Smh Zenitsu.

- In all seriousness, reassure him that he’s ok. He meant no harm by his reaction, he just tends to be over-dramatic with his reactions and emotions.

- Once he’s calm, he’d sniffle and be sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

- Zenitsu gives it a few minutes before asking questions, making sure he’s understanding 100% and not getting anything wrong.

- The blonde-boy knows about how hard struggles in life can be; he’s struggled his whole life when it comes to finding a home and a place of belonging, being homeless for the first 3/4’s of the life he’s lived so far. He knows he can’t compare his struggles to the things you must’ve gone through, but he can clearly and easily sympathize.

- He reassures you that he thinks no different of you, if anything he admires the way you could be so brave about it.

- It’s a quiet moment between the two of you as Zenitsu continues his rambles (still scared he ruined whatever is between you two a moment ago), circling over the same couple topics; how he supports you, will support you through anything, that he sees you no differently and that nothing will change.

- Please place your hand over his mouth or he’ll keep going all day; his anxiety rambles are said to last hours.

- This has only made you two closer, the others finding you and Zenitsu sticking/hanging around each other more and more frequently. In the end, your happy you told him.

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

Text

VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door.

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door.

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there.

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon.

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa.

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!”

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away.

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address.

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door.

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms.

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?”

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops.

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped.

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well?

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation.

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords.

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped.

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy.

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop.

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines.

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago.

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you.

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down.

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still.

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him.

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move.

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again.

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath.

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!” he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well.

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out.

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch.

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serendipityseulgi · 4 years ago

Text

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find.

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between.

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.”

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs.

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body.

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox.

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you.

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life.

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed.

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!”

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?”

Of course you do.

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.”

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you.

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh.

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?”

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod.

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend.

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time.

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :(

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way.

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics.

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong.

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.�� he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving.

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him.

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before.

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell.

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss.

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips.

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust.

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy.

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you.

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you.

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him.

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another.

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates.

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his.

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry.

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement.

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half.

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture.

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.”

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement.

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly.

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him.

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules.

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much.

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him.

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly.

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her.

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation.

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too.

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees.

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it.

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another.

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?”

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another.

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you.

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused.

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home.

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you.

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...”

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly.

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table.

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories.

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup.

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving.

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia.

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.”

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home.

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire.

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you.

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time.

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly.

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit.

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips.

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.”

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.”

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember.

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?”

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another.

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time.

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

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fndmxreader · 4 years ago

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fandom: harry potter. pairing: snape x reader undertones. summary: a completely self indulgent series where the reader is a slytherin muggle born witch working alongside the teachers at hogwarts. note: this is going to bounce around a lot when it comes to ships & stuff, there isn’t going to be a formula to this but will still take situations from the movies. pov: she/her pronouns.

there were several emotions that you were feeling right now : excitement, a smudge of regret, and the most prominent emotion, good old anxiety that wouldn’t budge no matter how much you practically skipped behind dumbledore in an attempt to shake it off : who of which, at the moment, was cracking jokes to try and ease your mood by pointing out where everything is and which classrooms were where. considering you had left the school a mere five years ago, the directions really weren’t needed, after all it was hard to forget a place like hogwarts - you still remember first walking through the doors, still remember the sensation of the hat on your head as it proudly announced that you were slytherin. some days were filled with nothing but torment from some pure bloods, but you still met some life long friends who you still spoke to, and the days were held closed to heart no matter what sort of thing you were subjected to.

“ and now, we slowly inch towards the forbidden door, one you most certainly aren’t familiar with - “ you can’t help the small giggle in response, eyes rolling as you found yourself in the same hallway as the staff room. your arms folding tightly against your chest as nails dug into your arms lightly, once again an attempt to fight off the ever growing feeling of wanting to puke on the floor. the fact that you haven’t is actually something you’re secretly celebrating.

“ finally, my long winded plan has worked. i’m here only for this, then i’m taking my leave” dumbledore grinned, placing an arm over your shoulder and offering a comforting squeeze as you got closer towards the room. damn, your palms were sweating, not helping but shrinking into his side like a child. this wasn’t like you, but it had been a long time - even being back in the wizarding world was a strange sensation, it had been a good couple of years outside of magic bars with childhood friends.

“ relax, y/n. it’s wonderful to have you back, i will admit, i was worried i’d said goodbye to you forever. “ the words warmed your heart, a shyness emitting from your aura “ you were my favourite slytherin, after all. you still are - “

“ first, of cause im your favourite slytherin, i’m me ” there’s the y/n everyone has grown to love, you beamed brightly up at him, eyes glowing a little “ second, i tried to stay away, but the muggle world just isn’t for me anymore. i still have friends there that i’ll visit, but - i dunno, this turned into my home at some point “ a shrug, walking into the staff room, tone kinda drawling off as you shrunk a little by dumbledores side.

“ greetings, everyone ! “ the headmaster announced, leaving your side to get everyones attention; leaving you stood there in the middle of the room feeling awkward and extremely exposed, the smile faltering a little but still tugging at the corner of lips, eyes glancing across the room at the familiar faces, and some... not so familiar. there had been a small change in staffing, you note, but you relax the minute you see your old head of house, professor snape; familiarity washes over you as you offer him a smile, no matter how grumpy he looks; you knew he liked you “ we have a new teaching assistant with us, now some of you already know young y/n here, some of you not - but i know she’s going to make a fine addition to our staffing, her job will be to help whoever needs her at the time, so i hope you start making dibs while her schedule is free - “

“ the muggle world got sick of me, so i’m here to make myself you guys’ problem, so i really wouldn’t dibs if you want to continue liking your jobs “ you finger gun at everyone, amusement crossing faces across the room. you hadn’t changed much, gotten a little older perhaps, mentality changed to some degree; but still the awkward, sharp tongued joker remained. after poor ice breaker, everyone practically dragged you from one side of the room to another, questioning where you had been and what you had done, you had no idea what you were worried about; you knew the anxiety would peak back up in the classroom, that was going to take a long time to get used to, but when it came to feeling at home among not only your previous teachers, but people who you will now know on a level to call them friends ? the road ahead was exciting.

“ y/n, i didn’t expect to see you back here “ snape finally got hold of you after fifteen minutes or so of bonding with the rest of the staff, a faint blush covers your cheeks as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, rocking slightly on your heels.

“ disappointed ? “ you joked, head tilting at the tease that came effortlessly, though at his face remained neutral. as the quietness that you both shared began to grow longer and truthfully, a little painful, you continued “ me neither, but i finished my muggle studies and i realised out there isn’t where i wanted to be. “

“ be that as it may, i do recall you saying how teaching is the last thing on your list due to how annoying children were - “

“ you, of all people are not saying that to me ! “ it’s playful, tone spiking up as your can’t help the laugh that passes your lips. you see the faint twitch of his lips at your response, noticing clear as day the glimmer in his eyes “ you are the last person to comment on the hatred of children, because i recall roommates coming back from class whining about how their head hurt where you smacked it with the back of a text book !“

“ i always hit with paperbacks, y/n. and would i be correct in assuming you liked those people ? “ you knew right off the bat that he was being snarky, tongue rolling across bottom lip as your eyes rolled once more.

“ no you wouldn’t and that is beside the point here ! “ your foot playfully stomping on the floor at his attitude. meanwhile the other teachers were looking on in amusement, shaking their heads and smiles spreading on faces at the bubbly change in the atmosphere that you brought. you really were a one in a million, and the teachers were happy to get to know you on a more personal level.

also they noticed how snapes posture faltered into a more relaxed stance, anything to make him like life a little more and not be such a stick in the mud like he usually is. everyone was excited for the staffing change, and dumbledore took all the credit.

#snape x reader #severus snape x reader #harry potter x reader #hp x reader #harry potter corner.#< - this is a perfect tag to store all these up coming fics odishfoisdh #teacher!reader series.

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carelessannie · 4 years ago

Text

maybe it goes like this: tony courts peter (part 6)

Read on A03

Read the Stuckony backstory

Word count: 8.6K

Stuckony focus, background Starker, SpiderHawk, and Stuckony x Hawk ships

Peter’s pack is coming over tonight, and Stuckony is nervous. Half of this is smut, half is a conversation with a surprise visitor...

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, explicit d/s abo smut, bondage, edging, plugs, oral/anal, blindfolds, knotting, *reference to past attempted sexual abuse of a minor* (really brief, non-explicit, but take care and be aware.)

---

maybe it goes like this:

No, baby, I— yes, sweet Omega everything will be… do you trust me? … but that was only one time… Peter, I swear to you… yes, he’s fine— excited, yes baby, excited…

Steve has been listening to Tony’s one sided conversation with Peter for an hour and has come to a conclusion— his Beta is completely gone on this Omega.

That, and Steve is completely screwed.

If this guy has been able to reduce Tony to a soft, agreeable mess, Steve is severely concerned for his own wellbeing.

One compromising Omega is tricky enough.

Speaking of, Bucky is currently lounging across the opposite end of their couch, feet resting in Steve’s lap, and openly laughing at Tony’s attempt to sooth his worried mate.

“Hush, Buck,” Steve pinches one of his feet, and gets a kick in return, “Tony’s cute with his mate.”

“You’re a lyin’ punk, Stevie. I know it’s freakin’ you out, jus’ like him.”

Steve shakes his head, firmly in denial, “I’m fine. Excited,” Bucky laughs at him, as he tries to convince his dumb Omega, “c’mon, you know I’ve been anxious to meet ‘im. Tonight is gonna be great.”

Across the room, Tony is still sweet talking his mate over the phone, and Bucky withdraws his feet, standing to walk past Steve into the kitchen.

He leans down, pushing into Steve’s space, and brushes his lips, delicately, over his ear,

“After you finish worrying, Alpha, maybe I can help with that anxiety.”

Bucky goes to walk away, but Steve’s hands shoot out, grabbing the smaller man and reeling him back in to sit across his lap. His growl earns an amused laugh from the Omega, but that’s not what Steve wants.

His left hand moves, gripping tight in Bucky’s hair and pulling his head back. He buries his teeth in the meat of his mate’s neck, biting down slightly in a warning, and he enjoys how it makes Bucky shiver.

“St- eeeeve—”

“— hush, Omega,” Steve pulls him close, grinding up into his ass to let Bucky feel where he’s hardening up, “you feelin’ needy, sweetheart? Tell me what you need, Buck.”

“N—no, Stevie, I just—”

He grips tighter, pulling back to look at his mate.

“Tell me, Omega.”

“Alpha… need you, Alpha.”

“Good boy,” he praises, and Bucky shakes again, opening and closing his lips in a silent plea. Steve tsks, a teasing sound he knows drives Bucky crazy, and slips two fingers from his right hand into the open mouth, pulling slightly on the hair still gripped in his left hand.

As Bucky moans and sucks eagerly, Steve calls out to Tony,

“Beta, are you almost done on the phone?”

Tony sighs, pacing away from them, “yeah, hold up, Alpha.”

Bucky squirms in his lap, and his small hands cling on to Steve’s shoulders, almost painfully.

“Beta,” Steve warns, “tell him we’ll see them later tonight, and hang up.”

The direct command gets Tony’s attention, finally, and he freezes when he takes in the scene on the couch. He says something in the phone, and hangs up— slowly putting the phone on the counter and walking carefully to where they are seated.

“Was that a command, Alpha?” he asks, stopping next to Steve’s shoulder and looking to the Alpha for permission to touch.

Steve ignores his question, instead pulling Bucky’s head back further and withdrawing his fingers, eliciting a small please from the Omega. With this silent permission, Tony’s hands move— one cupping Bucky’s jaw, and the other resting on top of Steve’s shoulder.

Bucky’s breath is picking up, and Steve knows he needs to get control over this scene before his mate floats away.

“I think he needs us, Beta. Whaddaya think— blue room?”

They ignore Bucky as he tries to nod his head, eyes closed and mouth moving wordlessly.

“Sounds good to me, Alpha. Such a greedy boy— gonna be good for us, Bucky?”

“Yes, y—yes, Beta, so good…”

“Look at me, baby,” Steve releases his hold on Bucky’s hair, instead shifting so he can look into dark, desperate eyes, “we have just enough time for a scene together. I’ll ask a couple questions, and I want stoplight answers from both of you. Do you understand, Omega?”

Wide eyes blink back at him, “G—green, Alpha.”

Steve doesn’t take his eyes off Bucky as he asks, “Beta?”

“Green, Alpha.”

He relaxes more, comforted by his mates’ easy submission to these rules, and leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Bucky’s slightly parted lips.

“Thank you, baby. Once we get into the blue room, Tony and I are gonna tie you up. He’s gonna blindfold you and keep you on edge, and then you’re gonna listen as I fuck him. After he comes, Tony will be in charge until you end up on my knot. Color?”

“Damn, Steve,” Tony breathes out, as Bucky continues his stream of begging and whining, before both of them agree,

“Green, Alpha.”

“Good boys,” he squeezes Tony’s hand and gives Bucky another kiss, “how do you feel about Tony being in charge?”

“Green, Alpha,” his boys chorus.

“And do you want my knot, Omega?”

“Yes, please, so green, Alpha.”

Steve turns to look at Tony, “I will check in throughout the scene, and you will check in on us once you take charge, understood?”

He gets a cheeky grin from his Beta, “Green, Steve.”

It’s been a learning experience between the two of them to work out the exchange of dominance during a scene, but Steve thinks it’s been well worth it. He loves planning scenes with Tony, and watching how beautifully Bucky submits to both of them. He knows the Beta is on board with his plan— and the use of his familiar name confirms Tony’s consent for the exchange. As they work together to move Bucky into the blue room, Steve smiles fondly at the Beta, and Tony leans over to give him a peck on the cheek.

He whispers before Tony moves back, “You good bottoming for me, Tony?”

Tony walks away from them to close the door, pulls a cushion over for Bucky to kneel on, and opens the fridge before answering, “Green, Alpha,” with a sly wink.

Steve rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the Omega in his arms, surprised to see Bucky grinning at him and definitely more aware than he thought.

Well. There’s definitely time to change that.

“Whatcha smilin’ at, baby?” he teases, grabbing Bucky’s wrists around his back.

Bucky shakes his head in denial, but is still looking up at Steve with so much adoration that his heart aches.

“Just happy, Alpha.”

Tony returns at that moment, signaling that the room is set up for the scene and aftercare. Steve takes a moment to breathe and look into Bucky’s eyes, searching for any hesitation, and steps back, satisfied.

“Kneel for me, Omega.”

Since the first time Bucky kneeled for him in middle school, Steve has never felt more at peace than when his sub, his Omega, gracefully drops to his knees in perfect submission. He hears Tony swear under his breath, and he has to agree. Nothing is quite as beautiful as his submissive.

He addresses Tony next, “Strip him, Beta,” the Beta nods and begins with his shirt. Once the t-shirt is tossed away, Steve gestures to the ropes and mutters star harness to get Tony moving.

As the Beta begins binding Bucky’s arms behind his back and ropes around his chest, Steve focuses back on his Omega.

Bucky’s eyes are wide and clear, and his lips are red from where he’s bitten them to keep quiet. Steve traces a finger down his face, admiring his features and the pretty flush, and stops underneath his chin. His thumb rests on Bucky’s lower lip, and pulls down slightly.

“It’s all yours, baby.”

Bucky leans forward as far as he can in Tony’s hold and sucks his thumb in, letting his eyes flutter closed as he hums and smiles around Steve’s finger.

Tony looks up, taking in the view, and moans, “Oh, Alpha, he’s so pretty. Look at those lips.”

“Hear that, Omega? What do you tell your Beta?”

Bucky pulls off with a pop.

“Thank you, Beta, please—”

Steve shuts him up with two fingers this time, working them underneath his tongue and tracing the lines of his teeth, the roof of his mouth. He works them into a rhythm— aware that the shallow thrusts of his fingers are a promise for something larger later on.

Tony is about halfway finished with the ties, so Steve pushes Bucky off his fingers, laughing at how he collapses back into Tony’s arms. Bucky is panting, eyes blown wide and foggy. Damn, his sub has such an oral fixation. He knew that his fingers— plus the ropes— would put him in subspace fast.

He always enjoys a challenge.

As Bucky tries to reorient himself, Steve pulls his own shirt off, tossing it away, and undoes his fly. Tony pauses to watch, and Steve makes eye contact with his Beta as he pulls himself out.

“Like whatcha see, Beta?” he teases, grabbing the base of his cock, and slapping it once, twice against his left hand, “wanna get on your knees for me, too?”

It’s an offer that Tony usually laughs off— uninterested in submitting to Steve in that way— so he’s surprised when Tony finishes the final knot and drops to his knees next to Bucky. He drags the Omega closer to where Steve’s standing, and licks his lips obscenely.

“Only if you promise to share, Alpha.”

Steve groans, and steps closer. He meets Tony halfways as his Beta places a soft kiss to the tip, ducking down and licking a teasing strip up his length. Bucky whines— eager to taste, but always such a good boy— and wouldn’t dare to take any without permission.

Tony sinks down, slowly, over the head and suckles lightly, refusing to take more into his mouth. He pulls off and does it again— barely applying stimulation as he winks and grins around his mouthful.

Steve has to refrain from fucking his frustration into Tony’s face, and pulls out.

He reaches forward to tangle his fingers into Tony’s hair, and sees the challenge in his Beta’s eyes. Do it goes unsaid, so Steve turns Tony’s face to the side, patting his cheek gently with the underside of his cock. Tony growls, and Steve releases him.

“Get undressed, Tony, and don’t fuck with me. If you can’t be a good boy, you won’t get rewards.”

Tony groans and reaches down to grip himself through his jeans, “Dammit, Alpha.” but stands up to follow his command regardless.

Ignoring the bratty dom, Steve looks down into Bucky’s eyes.

And wow.

He’s gone.

Usually the Omega would laugh at their banter— but like this, all he has is sweet, pliant submissive at his feet.

Bucky looks so hungry, and Steve can tell that he’s only making eye contact as a courtesy to Steve, because he’s so good.

He reaches both hands out to pull Bucky in close, and coos at the pained whimper from his Omega.

“Hungry, baby? Want me to fuck that pretty face?”

It’s barely a question he needs an answer for, letting the pleas of yes, please Alpha, oh my god please, yes wash over him as he slides into Bucky’s mouth.

“Fuck, baby, this mouth,” he praises, holding Bucky’s hair back and using it as a handle to fuck deeper.

It’s so hot. So wet. His cock hits the back of Bucky’s throat and he holds it there, waiting for a gag before pulling away. He lets Bucky breath before picking up his pace— careful to alternate between hitting his throat and the inside of his cheek as Bucky relaxes his jaw, getting used to the rhythm.

Bucky tries hard to take Steve deeper and deeper, but the Alpha knows it’s in vain. He chokes as Steve holds him in place after a particularly strong thrust, and Steve can’t help groaning in pleasure as he feels Bucky’s spit drip down over his balls.

Tears gather around his eyes, and Steve shushes Bucky as he wipes them away.

“So good, Buck. So pretty for me. Take my cock so well.”

He releases Bucky, letting the Omega fall back on his heels and heave to catch his breath as he checks on Tony— only slightly irritated to find the Beta lounging across the bed, totally bare, and slowly stroking his cock.

“Just enjoying the show,” Tony quips, gesturing to where Bucky is still recovering, “should I leave you two to finish, or…?”

The question is purposely unfinished, and Steve growls.

“Your mouth is gonna get you in trouble, Beta. Get over here and finish prepping him, alright?”

Tony just laughs and moves across the room to help Bucky to his feet, dragging him over to their favorite part of the blue room— the wall length, floor to ceiling mirror that faces their “kinky sex couch,” as Tony likes to call it. He’s so gentle as he strips Bucky’s sweatpants and underwear, giving him a few kisses before coaxing the Omega back to his knees in front of the couch, keeping his back to the mirror.

Steve drops his own pants as Tony grabs the blindfold, and he decides now is a good time to check in.

“We’re going to blindfold you, Omega. Color?”

He waits as Bucky concentrates on giving him an answer, “Green, Alpha.”

“Good boy,” he praises, nodding for Tony to tie it around the back of Bucky’s head. When the blindfold is in place, Steve checks in again, “everything dark, Omega?”

“Mm yes, Alpha. Please—"

“Hush. Tony’s gonna get you on edge and plug you up, baby, but you’re not gonna come. Then I’m gonna fuck 'im, and you’re going to stay quiet— do you understand?”

“Oh my god, yes Alpha.”

Tony chuckles and Steve can’t help but smile at the eagerness behind Bucky’s words.

“Such a good boy, Buck,” Steve turns to Tony, “work him open and keep him on edge, Beta— I’ll get you ready.”

“Yeah, Alpha,”

Tony moves to kneel behind Bucky, tossing the container of lube over to Steve as all three men end up on the padded floor. Steve watches as Tony pushes on Bucky’s shoulders, guiding him to rest his chest on the ground, presenting him in his bondage.

Steve hooks his chin over Tony’s shoulder, watching the Beta’s fingers run across smooth skin, spreading Bucky’s cheeks and thumbing at his tight hole. One of his hands reaches lower— pulling Bucky’s smaller package behind his thighs, giving his cock a few strokes, before nudging his legs closed to trap everything behind him.

“Fuck, Tony that’s pretty. Look at how hard he is, poor baby.”

The Beta continues petting their Omega, earning sweet moans and cries, until he can gather enough slick to push a finger inside. He starts working open the dripping hole, and Steve decides to start on his own task.

It’s always a fun challenge to work on Tony’s hole— dry and tight as it always is. Coating a few of his fingers with the slick, he keeps his view of Bucky over Tony’s shoulder, and reaches down with both hands. His left hand grips Tony around the base of his cock, earning him a groan as the Beta’s hips flex forward into Steve’s hand. As he strokes Tony, letting his mate fuck into his fist, he slides his right hand down and circles around his rim.

“Shit, Steve. C’mon, gimme more, Alpha,” Tony begs, and Steve mouths at his neck.

“Not sure if you deserve more, sweetheart. Maybe I’ll tie you up too, make you watch as I knot our Omega, hm?”

Tony wriggles in his hold, burying his fingers deeper into Bucky’s ass as the Omega cries out, and the Beta pushes back into Steve’s lap, “You’re mean tonight, Alpha. Let’s get your dick in my ass and see how you feel after.”

Steve pushes two digits into Tony, knocking him forward into Bucky, and pushes down against his prostate.

“Fuck, Steve—“

He ignores the cry and works to get Tony prepared as fast as he can. He can feel Tony clenching and unclenching, shaking with the effort of staying still and submitting as Steve holds him down, fucking him open with two, then three fingers.

After another moment, he twists his hand around as he withdraws, and brings his palm down flat, sharp, before standing to his feet.

The slap resonates, as well as Tony’s howl, and Steve expects it when the Beta jumps to his feet, face red and fists clenched.

“You absolute—“

“— mind your place, Beta,” he growls, pushing Tony out of his face, “get our Omega ready and sit on my lap. If you’re angry, ride me like you mean it.”

Tony glares for a moment longer before turning, picking up the vibrating plug and pressing it firmly into Bucky’s dripping hole. Steve sits on the couch, angling to get a good view in the mirror, as Bucky is settled in between his legs.

While Tony gets him kneeling on a pillow, Steve gives his Omega a deep kiss, pleased when Bucky sighs into his mouth and lets Steve take. Bucky is always so responsive when his senses are limited, and Steve feels his vision narrowing— the need to take control and command overwhelming him.

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and Steve pulls back. He leans back on the couch, relaxing as he drinks in the sight and scent of his sinfully gorgeous mates surrounding him, and offers a hand to Tony.

It’s only a second before Tony is settled and wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck, but that’s not what Steve wants.

“No, Beta,” he growls, and Tony hums in question, “turn.”

Understanding flashes over Tony’s face and he smirks, flipping around to give Steve a perfect view from behind.

He strokes himself twice, coating his length with remaining slick, before lining up with Tony’s entrance.

“Oh— oh, Alpha, shit you’re so big, fuck Steve—“ Tony babbles as he sits, inch by inch, on Steve’s cock, squeezing it tight as Steve grips his hips.

Steve forces himself to sit up taller, and yes.

This is why they built the blue room.

The view in the mirror is dizzying. Over Tony’s shoulder, he can see the long length of Bucky’s back, all the way down to the plug nestled in between his cheeks. He can see the way Tony’s cock, hard and leaking, drags across Bucky’s face as he rocks back and forth on Steve’s lap. And he can see Tony’s face— screwed up tight in pleasure— as his beautiful body works Steve’s cock like it’s his job.

Oh, his mates are stunning.

“Yeah Tony, take what you want, sweetheart. Look at me… no, baby— in the mirror. Yes, oh yes, Beta, so deep and hot,” Tony groans at Steve’s talk, and the Alpha moves a hand to tip his chin down,

“Look at ‘im, Beta. Look at how hungry, fuckin’ desperate, he is for your cock. Bucky, baby, stick out your tongue— oh, fuck—”

Like a good boy, Bucky does as he’s told. Each time Tony slams back into Steve’s lap, his cock slaps down on Bucky’s lips, face, tongue. And the Omega— he chases it, whining each time he can’t catch a whole mouthful.

“Perfect Omega, oh look at your mouth, fuck,” Tony pants out, speeding up and throwing his head back onto Steve’s shoulder, “Steve, Alpha— please. I’m gonna, holy shit I’m gonna come—“

“C’mon, Tony— do it,” he growls out, pistoning his hips harder as his cock slams deeper into Tony’s hole, and slaps Tony’s hand away as he reaches for himself.

“No, Beta. Just like this— look at him, Tony. Come on his face,” he sees Bucky open his mouth further, “beg for it, Omega. Tell ‘im how much you want it, baby.”

The dam breaks, and their Omega chokes on a long string of high pitched begging, “Oh hhh Beta, please I need it so bad, please, oh god, Beta come on me, pleaa ase—"

Tony’s rhythm falters and he tightens around Steve, digging his fingernails into his thighs, and howls.

His come erupts in waves, hitting Bucky across the mouth, face, and even his hair, dripping down to land on his chest. Steve reaches forward to wring the last of Tony’s orgasm out of him, shaking the last few drops onto Bucky’s tongue as the Omega eagerly swallows them down and whispers thank you, Beta.

Tony drops, boneless, back onto Steve’s lap, and inadvertently impales himself on Steve’s cock. Both of them groan— Tony from overstimulation and Steve from denial— until Steve rolls Tony off of him to lay on the couch.

After a moment of recovery, where Steve slips Bucky’s blindfold off his eyes and whispers praises to his sweet submissive, Tony finally rolls over and blinks back into awareness.

“Damn, Alpha. One day you’re gonna kill me on your dick, I swear.”

Steve smiles, but makes an aborted move to remind the Beta of the rest of their plans.

Tony nods, “Steve, untie him while I move the couch.”

“Yes, Beta.”

Steve gets behind Bucky and starts to untie the restraints, edging Bucky firmly with one of his hands until the Omega is shaking in his arms, panting for his release. He works Bucky up two more times, denying him at the last moment, before the restraints are off and Tony has the couch moved.

Tony stands in front of them, pulling Bucky to his feet and carefully massaging his arms as the submissive sways in between them. Tony is always so sweet with Bucky, and today is no different— he presses long, chaste kisses to his lips until the Omega is giggling, squirming in their arms.

Steve lets himself be led over to the couch while keeping a steadying hand on Bucky, and is mildly impressed with how Tony situated them. He turned it about thirty degrees counterclockwise, changing the angle so that when Tony bends Bucky over the arm of the couch and Steve kneels behind him, both Alpha and Omega are in full sight of each other.

“Oh, Beta— this is perfect, damn—” Steve swears, pulling the still vibrating plug out of his mate and running the head of his cock through the slick pouring out of Bucky.

Tony smiles, lifting Bucky’s face to look into his eyes, “Alright sweet boy, Stevie’s gonna knot you and let you come, okay? And you’re gonna keep me warm in your mouth, watching Alpha the whole time in the mirror. Color?”

Both of them sigh out, “Green, Beta,” before Tony instructs,

“Gimme a taste, Steve.”

Confused, Steve looks back to his Beta, “... a taste, Beta?”

Tony laughs, leering, “He looks so sweet, Rogers— wanna give me a taste?”

Oh.

“Oh.”

Steve dips down and licks from head to hole, gathering as much of Bucky’s slick as possible on his tongue, before leaning forward and shoving all of it into Tony’s mouth. He gets a surprised grunt, and then a moan as their tongues tangle together, the Beta sucking eagerly to taste as much as possible.

Tony then leans down, holding Bucky in place as he trades a similar kiss with the Omega. Steve hears a curse from Bucky, likely in response to tasting himself in Tony’s mouth, before the Beta pulls away.

Steve is achingly hard, but waits for permission to fuck his perfect Omega.

Tony gives it, “Fuck him, Alpha,” and Steve slams into Bucky, sighing in satisfaction.

He starts at an unforgiving pace, gripping tight onto Bucky’s hips and pulling the Omega back to meet each thrust as he watches Tony slips his soft cock into Bucky’s waiting mouth.

“Watch, Alpha.” and Steve’s head shoots up— first to Tony, and then to the mirror— watching Bucky’s face as he holds Tony around the waist and takes him deep, keeps him warm. Steve feels his knot starting to expand as he drives deeper and deeper into his mate, and almost explodes on the spot when Bucky locks eyes with him.

Apparently this is too much for Bucky. His grip tightens on Tony’s waist, and the Beta looks down in alarm, and then in amusement as he sees the desperate look in Bucky’s eyes. He pulls out of Bucky’s mouth and shoves his shoulders, causing Bucky to sit up tall and then sink further onto Steve’s cock. Steve holds both of his arms back to keep him in place.

Bucky yelps, and cries out, “— Beta, please, ‘m gonna come— I can’t, please please, oh my god,”

Tony reaches out, grabs his nipples, and twists.

“Come for me, Omega.”

Steve focuses on pounding into Bucky’s prostate as he seizes up, sobbing loudly, and comes apart in one long tremor.

It’s too much. Steve thrusts in until he feels his knot catch, and sinks his teeth into Bucky’s shoulder as his orgasm sweeps through him. He’s distantly aware of the way his Omega’s hole spasms wildly, milking every drop, as he spills deep into his mate.

As they come down together, he realizes how much he adores holding his Omega close, kissing around his neck and breathing in their combined scents. His arms are wrapped around his Omega’s body, safe, and he feels Tony move them, laying horizontal across the couch. He takes care to feed them sips of water and cover them both with a blanket as they both drift off together.

For a few moments, Tony leaves the room, and Bucky snuggles closer instinctually. Both of them usually need a good amount of time to come up after a scene, so he enjoys the high he feels protecting and caring for his Omega.

Steve.

He’s so in love with his mates. He continues whispering sweet things to the perfect Omega in his arms—

“Steve.”

What?

“Hey, Steve, I’m so sorry but you have to come back up.”

“... Tony?”

“Yeah, Steve. Look at me, and eat this— we need to talk.”

Steve looks up and sees Tony kneeling, fully dressed, in front of them. He’s holding out a small plate that Steve knows contains their favorite post scene snacks.

He pulls Bucky up and into his lap, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady them as Tony helps him eat through the plate. Afterwards, he drinks a full bottle of water and Tony talks while they wait for Steve’s knot to go down.

“So, we’ve got a bit of a situation,” he starts, passing over another bottle of water, “Clint is here.”

Steve’s glad he has an Omega on his lap, or he would have fallen off the couch,

“What time is it?” he asks urgently.

“No, it’s… it’s only five, and they aren’t supposed to be here until seven, I know.”

“Okay, so what’s wrong?”

Tony looks sheepish, “He wants to talk to you—” a pause, “— alone.”

Steve looks down to where Bucky is still firmly seated in his lap and raises an eyebrow.

“I know,” Tony shakes his head, upset, “I told him you guys are knotted together—”

“— Tony, no—”

“— and he said he’s not in a rush. So bring Bucky up enough to get him settled with me, take a shower, and then go talk to him, okay? I’ll go sit with him until then— we get along, it should be fine.”

Steve nods along and watches as Tony runs from the room again. Shit. He is totally unprepared to see Clint right now.

One thing at a time.

“Bucky, baby. Sweetheart. Pretty Omega, it’s time to come up now,” he drawls, squeezing Bucky’s arms and hands to help him reorient himself.

“... S’eve? Wha’s happin’n?”

“Shh Buck, it’s okay. Just need you with me now. My knot's going down, and then you and Tony are gonna snuggle together. You hear me, baby?”

“Mmm, yes Alpha... love Tony s’much,” he’s still slurring, but when Steve looks into the mirror at their reflection, he’s met with clear blue eyes, blinking back into consciousness.

“Thank you, Bucky, love you so much.” he’s careful not to praise too heavily— Bucky needs to come back into his head, and too much praise will push him back into subspace.

Both of them gasp as Steve’s knot suddenly releases, his soft cock slipping from Bucky’s body along with a steady stream of their combined release.

He hears Bucky mumble something, and he turns the Omega to find him smiling.

“What was that, Buck?”

“Don’t I look sweet, Rogers? Wanna gimme a taste?” and Bucky loses it, throwing his head back and letting his body shake with laughter. Steve can’t help but chuckle along, leaning forward to press their lips together and swallow the sweet sounds coming out of his mate.

Bucky grabs his arms, and Steve murmurs, “I don’t think that’s really what you want, jerk,” as Bucky tries to kiss him again. Instead, Steve pulls away and grabs for the wipes, grinning at the disgusted face he gets in return.

He takes the utmost care in cleaning up the come on Bucky’s face, chest, stomach, around his groin and dripping out of his ass. There’s even some in between his toes. It always makes Bucky blush to be so intimately cared for, but for Steve, it’s his absolute favorite part of their aftercare.

As much as he loves getting his mate dirty, he’s obsessed with being the one to clean him up again.

He lifts Bucky from the couch and tucks him in the bed, pressing the call button on the side table to get Tony back in the room before he leaves Bucky’s side. With how often Bucky’s been dropping, he doesn’t want to take the risk of leaving him alone.

There’s a soft knock at the door, and Tony enters before Steve can say anything— coming right to the bed and removing layers, before climbing in to spoon Bucky from behind.

“Go on, Steve. I’ve got him.”

Steve leans forward, kissing both of his mates, before taking off for the ensuite shower.

He’s gonna need a clear head for this conversation.

---

Tony’s cleaning up their scene when he hears a knock on the door.

He looks down and swears. Neither of his mates are even close to up, and he feels horrible leaving them.

There’s a second knock, and Tony decides to see who it is before finishing with his Alpha and Omega. He pulls the blanket tight around the pair, and yanks on sweatpants and a nearby shirt before heading out of the room and to the front door.

He absently notes that he’s in Steve’s clothes. Perfect.

“Now’s not the time—” he starts, whipping open the front door, and goes still at the visitor in front of him.

“Wow, considering the horny-pack smell, I guess you’re right,” Clint Barton flashes a cocky smile, and holds out flowers and a six pack of beer, “I come in peace.”

Tony looks behind him, around the front yard, before staring at Clint in confusion,

“You’re early.”

Clint laughs, but Tony can see him fidget— nervous. Huh.

“Yeah, I know. I’m— can I come in? This shouldn’t take long.”

Tony shakes his head and crosses his arms, “I’ve got a pack to care for right now, Clint. If you’re just here to smooze my Omega—”

“I want to talk to Steve.”

Clint lowers his eyes, and Tony realizes he’s close to tears. He can relate. This younger Beta is almost as good at hiding his emotions as Tony is himself, and whatever he’s come here for is heavy enough to break through his carefully constructed walls.

He sighs, “Why? What do you need from my Alpha?”

“Nothing. I just— Peter was supposed to tell you, but I need to meet him before I let… before my pack—”

Ah, Tony understands, he’s scared.

Of course, with the conversation they had earlier and a break for their scene, Peter had not mentioned Clint’s visit. But Tony softens, regardless, and moves aside to let Clint come in. He takes the flowers and lets Clint carry the beer as they walk down the front hall and into the main living room.

Tony points for Clint to take a seat, and searches the kitchen for a vase. The flowers are purple, all purple. Delicate lavender roses, and two other, smaller blossoms that Tony doesn’t recognize. One of them looks like lavender, but the petals remind him more of lilies.

As he drops them in a vase and adds water, he asks, “What, uh, types are these?”

Clint jumps back up and walks around the counter, pushing slightly into Tony’s space.

He touches the smaller, violet flowers—

“Iris, for hope.”

Next, the taller clusters—

“Hyacinth, for regret and sorrow.”

Lastly, he strokes the roses and takes one out, handing it to Tony—

“Lavender roses, for love at first sight.”

Damn.

This Beta has game.

Tony takes the rose without hesitation, breathing it in deeply. He uses their height difference to peer up at the taller Beta through the petals and through his lashes, fluttering them a few times, and watches as Clint’s eyes widen in shock. Tony puts the flower back into the vase and steps in closer, using the counter as leverage to stand up on his toes.

He croons into Clint’s ear, “Get comfortable, hot shot. I’ll go get my Alpha for you.”

Without waiting for an answer, he swivels back and struts out of the room, residual hot spice lingering as he leaves.

Pushing back into the blue room, he almost swoons at the sight of his Alpha and Omega still sweetly intertwined on the couch. Bucky is completely out— mouthing lightly at Steve’s thumb, which, fuckin’ cute— and Steve has his eyes shut, whispering and kissing reassurances into the back of Bucky’s neck.

It pains him to wake them up, but he has to get his Alpha moving.

“Steve,” he calls, rounding the couch and crouching in front of them.

No movement, only a continued stream of unintelligible mush.

“Steve.” he tries raising his voice, hopeful when a hazy blue eye cracks open.

“Hey, Steve, I’m so sorry but you have to come back up.”

“... Tony?” his Alpha looks so adorably confused, and he tries to keep his voice calm and demanding. He reaches over to pick up a few of the snacks he had set out earlier, thankful that most of them are still cold, and chooses to try and feed him the cheese cubes first.

“Yeah, Steve. Look at me,” okay, a small reaction this time, “and eat this— we need to talk.”

He finally gets eye contact, probably due to his tone. Steve visibly reorients himself— shaking his head, squinting to focus on Tony, and then trying to sit up.

There’s a moment where Tony can tell he forgot about his dick firmly knotted into their Omega’s ass, and both men end up groaning when Steve moves too fast. Tony puts the cheese down and reaches to steady them, settling Bucky into Steve’s lap and rewrapping him in their blanket, before handing the plate to Steve as he makes grabby-hands at Tony.

Each piece Steve eats brings him into further awareness. After a half dozen are consumed, Tony wordlessly trades the cheese for Ritz crackers and carrots. His Alpha is such a dope— but, Tony has to admit, his one of the most gorgeous men on the planet.

He hands Steve a bottle of water which the Alpha drinks in one long pull, licking his lips and shifting Bucky so that the sleeping Omega is nestled into his shoulder, under his chin.

“So, we’ve got a bit of a situation,” Tony starts,

Steve’s head shoots up, staring into his eyes as Tony tries to pass him another bottle as a peace offering,

“Clint is here.”

He’s glad the bottle of water is unopened, or Bucky might have gotten a rude awakening as Steve flinches, whipping around to look at the door, grabbing wildly for his phone, and then steadying Bucky when the smaller man whimpers at his sudden movement.

“What time is it?”

Tony checks his phone quickly, “No, it’s… it’s only five,” he tries to grab Steve’s arm to calm him down, “they aren’t supposed to be here until seven, I know.”

“Okay, so what’s wrong?”

Tony definitely didn’t mean to freak his Alpha out, especially since Clint looked terrified to come over so early. Best to just give Steve the information and let him figure it out.

“He wants to talk to you—”

A confused and expectant look from Steve.

“— alone. I know— I told him you guys are knotted together—”

“— Tony, no—” Steve tries to interrupt him, but Tony has to take some control back,

“— and he said he’s not in a rush. So bring Bucky up enough to get him settled with me, take a shower, and then go talk to him, okay? I’ll go sit with him until then. We get along, it should be fine.”

Before Steve can protest his plan, he dumps the rest of the food onto the table and jogs back out of the room, hoping that Steve will use the buzzer when he needs Tony to come and take over.

Sliding into the kitchen, he sees Clint rifling through their bookcase and drinking a sparkling water. He doesn’t even seem ashamed to be caught, and continues his leisurely search.

“You guys have a ton of like, war memoirs and shit.”

“... yeah, both of my mates served. Hence—” he gestures generally at both the bookcase and the panel of medals hanging nearby.

Clint walks over to the display and looks vaguely impressed, “Damn.”

“I would say help yourself to a drink, but I see you’ve done that already.”

“Yeah, well, your spicy water is shit, Tony.”

A shocked laugh bursts out of him, “Good thing I don’t drink it then. I buy those for Bucky—”

“— really? I’m shocked he drinks something with so little sugar.”

Tony shrugs, making his way over to the coffee maker to start a pot for them later, “I think drinking them makes him feel fancy, or something,” he flips on the machine and turns back to Clint, “also— spicy water?”

Clint looks so smug as he walks away from the bookcase and back towards the kitchen, taking a seat at one of the bar stools.

“That’s what Peter calls it.”

Ohh, noo. A small pained noise comes from inside Tony’s soul as he grabs at his heart, swooning from the utter cuteness of his mate— his adorable, tiny, breathtakingly sweet Omega that calls bubbly water spicy—

Clint, the bastard, is laughing at him, still sipping the offending drink as Tony tries to keep himself from crying at the mention of his boyfriend, the cutest man to ever walk the earth.

He points an accusing finger at Clint, “You hush. I know you think it’s adorable, too. I can’t help it that I’m in lo—” woops, nope, wait, “—over my head with this perfection of a human being.”

Of course Clint heard his mistake, and scoots closer to Tony, a shit-eating grin blooming over his face, “You’re in what, Tony?”

“Nope, not yet. I didn’t say it, therefore, I will not admit to it, okay? And you— you didn’t hear anything, got it?”

The dumb Beta is laughing again and Tony decides to ignore him, grabbing a mug and filling it up with the freshly brewed coffee. He slides the cup over to Clint with a pleading look, and sees the Beta’s expression soften.

He grabs the coffee with a pat to Tony’s hand, “Hey, hey, don’t do that. Your secret’s safe with me.”

Tony stares at him for another moment, watching him for any trace of joking, before a sharp buzzer startles both of them.

“You expecting someone else?” Clint asks, looking towards the front door.

Tony’s already moving back to the blue room, “No, that’s Steve. He’ll be out in a second, okay? Just sit tight,” and runs back down the hall, leaving Clint in the kitchen.

He knocks on the door, giving Steve a warning, before walking in, gently closing the door behind himself.

His mates are separated, thank god, and have moved to the bed. Bucky is dozing underneath layers of blankets that Steve has piled on top of him, and Steve is sitting, still completely bare, on the bed and stroking his hair. He barely gives Tony a glance— so Tony strips out of the sweats and t-shirt, walking around the bed to slide in behind Bucky.

“Go on, Steve. I’ve got him.”

He wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and holds him close, closing his eyes to the feeling of his Omega, naked and sated, warm in his arms as he barely registers Steve kissing his hair and leaving the room.

“... Tones, ‘s that you?” Bucky sounds so sleepy and soft, and Tony nuzzles in closer, inhaling his HappyContentSleepyOmega scent like the sweetest drug.

“Yeah, sweetheart. You comin’ up?” he trails his fingers down Bucky’s left side, reaching lower to cup him securely between his legs, holding the soft Omega cock and balls in one hand.

He gets a small noise in response and can’t help pulling him closer, tangling their legs together and humming into Bucky’s neck.

They stay like that for a few moments— Tony listening to their synchronized breathing and Bucky’s resting heartbeat— until a low rumbling starts beneath his hands, building in intensity, and causing Tony to close his eyes in satisfaction as he’s slowly surrounded by Bucky’s purr.

On instinct, he holds Bucky tighter, squeezing between his legs, and sinks his teeth into his Omega’s neck.

“So good for me, Bucky. Damn, I love you so much.”

Something about his praise and confession must resonate deeply with his Omega, because Bucky starts to tremble and arch back into Tony’s hold. Tony shifts, feeling Bucky firm up in his hand, but knows they shouldn’t do this so soon after a scene, while Bucky is fighting sleep and subspace.

Tony gives him one last squeeze before releasing his hold, turning Bucky on his back, and resting his head on his hand to peer down at his mate. Bucky’s face is still relaxed, eyes closed.

“Bucky, I’m gonna move you, okay?” Tony says, looking for any discomfort.

Finding none, Tony stands up, making his way to Bucky’s side of the bed. He throws the blankets off and scoops him up into a princess carry, letting Bucky curl into his chest before heading for the door.

He checks the hallway, just in case, and hurries them both to the master bedroom. Tony can hear muted voices from the living room, but knowing his Alpha, it may be another hour or so before they finish their conversation. Bucky is still purring into his chest as he makes his way across their den, and he grabs a fresh bottle of water.

Settling them into the den, Tony closes the curtains and sits up against the headboard. He pulls Bucky to rest in between his legs with their chests pressed together, content to take his weight as the Omega continues to purr.

Tony spends a while scent-marking his mate and checking for injuries. Especially around his shoulders— he makes sure to massage out any tightness remaining from the ropes earlier, scratching through his scalp and making a note to suggest Bucky grow his hair long. He loves the way the auburn curls tangle in his fingers. He knows that Steve loves tugging on them too.

For a moment, Tony thinks Bucky might be coming back up. The purring stops and he starts to wiggle, making small grunting noises. His face scrunches up and scent starts to fill with Confusion and Distress, so Tony shushes him quietly, rocking them back and forth while whispering mindless praises until he settles down again.

Sometime later— maybe a half hour, maybe longer— Tony’s jostled awake.

He immediately tightens his hold on his mate, turning them away from the threat. When he finds the source he relaxes. Steve is hovering next to them, grinning in amusement and laughing at Tony’s overreaction.

Bucky smiles up at him as well, “Strong Beta,” he teases, and Tony growls playfully, rolling them away from Steve so that he can sit on top of Bucky’s hips.

“Damn straight.”

He leans down, stealing a kiss as Steve groans and starts tugging on his arm,

“Not now, Tony. We’ve got thirty minutes to talk before our guests come over, and we need to be focused.”

He exchanges a look with Bucky before jumping off the bed, catching his briefs as Steve tosses them over. God, he smells. He checks the clock on the nightstand and hurries up.

“Steve, I don’t know if we even have time to talk, and I definitely need a shower. Are we gonna cook? What on earth should we be wearing—”

“Hush, Tony,” Steve stops his spiraling, sorting through their drawers to pick out clothes for the evening, “it’s not even six yet, and they’ll be here in an hour. I’m going to put dinner in the oven— it’s already preheated— and you two will shower. Separately,” he gives them both a stern look, “and then we’ll spend some time in Bucky’s nest until our guests get here.”

Tony nods, already walking over to grab the clothes Steve laid out for him.

“I’ll… I’ll use the shower in the blue room,” he drops a quick peck on Bucky’s cheek and accepts one from Steve before taking off down the hall.

---

Within twenty minutes they are all dressed, Steve’s mystery meal is cooking in the oven, and Bucky is crawling into his nest— inviting them inside with a bottle of wine and expensive truffles.

“I’m gonna set an alarm, Stevie, so get talkin’. What did Clint say?” Bucky reclines back, adjusting the blankets and cushions around them, and opens up the bottle of wine, drinking from the top until Steve gasps and takes it from him.

“You’re literally a child, Bucky. Grab a glass,” Steve helps pass out and pour glasses for all of them and starts to explain, “You both know that Clint has issues with Dominant Alphas, and that’s why he dropped during your first date, right?”

Both of them nod— Peter had explained it briefly to them on their second date together.

“Well… apparently he told Peter he wants to give me a chance. He explained some of his past to me, and gave me permission to tell you both.”

They recline back and open up the truffles— sipping on pink wine because, well, Bucky.

“He grew up in an intimate pack with a Dominant Alpha and Submissive Omega. His parents were both Betas in the pack, and there were four mates total. He thinks there was resentment against his parents because the pack Alpha and Omega couldn’t pup, but his mom and dad had two. His dad died when he was a kid, and he was bullied— hit and abused by his Alpha— all the way until he presented Versatile in sixth grade. At that point his Alpha tried to dominate and almost— damn, almost knotted him. He hadn’t even fully presented yet, and his fucking Alpha tried to mate him.”

Steve looks visibly sick, and Tony feels the same. Bucky makes a distressed noise and curls up closer to both of them, “Fuck, Stevie— what the hell.”

“I know, I know— I didn’t. I had no idea what to say. Apparently his mom and their pack Omega saved him just in time and brought him over to a family friend. None of his family is alive now, besides his brother, because his pack was bonded together and died when his Alpha did— drunk in a car accident.”

The silence is heavy, and Tony feels shocked. Not only did this dick-wad Alpha terrorize and hurt Clint, but he’s also the reason Clint lost his whole family. Damn. No wonder he was so hurt to find out about Steve so many weeks ago. It was probably a major slap in the face by his pack, who he thought he could trust.

“Stevie,” Bucky is wiping away tears, and looking devastated as he gets their Alpha’s attention, “is he— why did he tell you all of that?”

Steve pulls him closer, nosing through his hair, “He said he trusts Peter and wants to get to know me, because he knows Peter is going to end up with us… and he wants to end up with Peter.”

“Oh,”

“And you,” Steve cracks a smile, messing up Bucky’s hair and nudging Tony with a foot, “he said you’re a good kisser, Buck.”

“Hey!”

“You should have seen them, Alpha,” Tony says with a fake serious tone that has Bucky sputtering, “Peter had to scruff them, otherwise they would have turned the whole room into an orgy.”

Steve is laughing, and Bucky pushes him away, pouting, “You say that like you wouldn’t enjoy it.”

“Okay, okay,” their Alpha puts a stop to it before they have an opportunity to digress further, “come on, guys. Let’s figure out what to do about tonight.”

“Tonight?” Tony asks, “is he not coming now?”

“No, he— he is, I just don’t know if I should sit this one out.”

Bucky smacks him on the arm, “You’re such an idiot, Stevie.”

Tony nods in agreement, “Did he say he doesn’t want you there?”

“No, but—”

“Then what’s the issue?” Bucky sits up taller, giving Steve another push, “it sounds like Clint wants to give you a shot. The worst thing you could do is not show up for him tonight.”

“Bucky’s right,” Tony adds, “and we’re gonna be there to protect both of you, okay? Trust us?”

Steve looks down into his hands, picking at his nails and refusing to acknowledge them.

Bucky gives Tony a nudge.

Moving their wine to the side, Tony kicks his leg over Steve’s knees, settling firmly on his lap. His Alpha whips his head up, surprised, and grabs Tony’s hips. His arms come to rest around Steve’s neck, reminiscent of their position from earlier, and he scratches lightly at the short hair at the nape of his neck.

“Steve,” he starts, watching as Bucky shuffles closer and rests his head on Steve’s shoulder, “you are so strong, Alpha. You protect us and provide for us so well. But that’s not why we love you,” he jabs Steve’s chest, “we love you for your kindness, for your thoughtfulness. Steve— you are important to us because you are the best man we know. Just… give him a shot to love you too.”

There are tears in Steve’s eyes as he pulls Tony in for a hug, “Damn Tony, I love you so much, my Beta.”

“GROUP HUG,” Bucky hollers, and tackles them both to the ground, cackling wildly.

“Bucky, dammit!”

“Fuckin’ wild Omega—”

Riiiiiinng

The alarm chimes, just in time to break up their puppy pile. Tony smirks and pushes his mates off of him. He grabs the wine glasses and pops a truffle into his mouth, throwing back the rest of his drink, before crawling out of Bucky’s nest.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve’s voice calls, and Tony turns around to see his Alpha joining him on the walk to the kitchen.

“Yeah, Steve?”

Steve grabs his free hand and kisses his finger tips,

“Thank you, my Beta.”

“You deserve unconditional love, my Alpha. It’s never a hardship for us to give it to you.”

“I thought Stevie and I were bad— you guys are big ‘ol saps,” Bucky butts in, pushing past them and turning the lights out.

“C’mon idiots, I’m hungry.”

They follow him down the hall obediently, ready for whatever the night has in store.

#starker #stuckony #stucky #stony #smut #d/s fic #tw: past abuse #winteriron #clint barton #MiGLT #subspace #fluff #fanfic #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #mood board #omegaverse

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 4 years ago

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

The Tower

A/N: mi gente im just trying something out and seeing if people like it :] ive had this done for like months and months on end and i finally decided to share it so em enjoy

First | Previous| Next

words: 2380

summary: Roman’s stomach is making it very clear that this talk wasn’t going to end well... as long as he doesn’t end up in that tower.

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, disappearance mention, flashback, crying

(let me know if theres any other)

Roman felt himself waking up, maybe because of the stupidly bright sun hitting his eyes, he didn’t know how that was possible since he remembered closing the red velvet curtains shut tight, so he didn't have this exact issue. So, when he heard some ruffling and things being moved around he wasn’t all that surprised.

¨Rise and shine, you little brat¨ Ruth said in a very tired but demanding voice.

¨Oh dear nurse, allow me five more minutes¨ Roman whined putting a pillow over his eyes so he could block out the rude sun.

¨Oh, flattery will get you nowhere, mister.¨ Roman could hear Ruth moving around the room, preparing breakfast no doubt. Roman took the pillow off his face and sat up, hair a wreck, and his eyes squinting because of the light coming from the window.

¨And he finally rises,¨ Ruth said sarcastically.

¨Yeah, yeah, the dashing prince has awoken.¨ Roman said half asleep. Ruth helped him sit down so he didn’t trip over anything and started serving him breakfast, she wasn’t going to wait for him to finish eating as she was already heading for the big oak doors.

¨Wait!¨ Roman sobered up, Ruth flinched a little at the shout but turned around anyway ¨Can I do anything for you?¨ She asked.

¨ Come eat with me, you for sure haven’t eaten anything today.¨ Ruth went to argue but closed her mouth when she noticed she, in fact, had not eaten.

She sat down in the chair in front of the royal, Roman made a few hand gestures as if to show she was open to take anything, she knew the monarch wouldn’t eat until she had settled for something so, she took a piece of bread and started eating, as did he.

After a few moments of silent eating Ruth spoke up ¨I still don't understand, after all these years you haven’t become a spoiled brat that doesn't care for his servant¨ Roman didn't even look up at her he just said ¨I guess you raised me well.¨ Ruth almost choked on her bread and looked at Roman as if he had gone insane. “Oh come on don't be so humble Ruthie!¨

She still looked at him confused and a little annoyed at the nickname but mostly surprised he would say anything of the sort, ¨Ruth, you are my nurse. You have been with me my entire life, You fed me when I was a baby for god sake! I consider you a mother, even if I have another mother in the throne room right now,” Roman shivered at the thought of having to talk to his parents after the events of the past week but continued anyway “and I sure as hell think of you as the person who raised me.¨

Once he had finished he immediately put a mouth full of food and kept eating as if hadn’t given that speech. Ruth still looked shocked but cleared her throat ¨Well, then I made you a sap!¨ Roman started laughing ¨How will your future spouse ever forgive me?¨ Roman burst out laughing and Ruth gave a small chuckle.

Ruth stood up and went to Roman's closet to gather his outfit for the day, while he finished breakfast. She threw the clothes at him “Hey!¨ Roman made his trademark over dramatic gasp. She sighed “I unfortunately also gave you my dramatics…”

“And I don’t resent you for that!” Roman screamed back with a big smile on his face.

Ruth looked like she had something on her mind. Roman didn’t have to wait much before she said what that was, he never did. ¨Would that make you and my Remy brothers?¨ she said, actively ignoring the prince’s comments. Roman stood up going towards his shoji screen to change behind. ¨Ha! We already consider each other brothers so it wouldn’t be much of a change.¨ Ruth started making his bed “Well this is new information to me.¨ Roman giggled a bit

¨Remy´s supposed to be back by noon, he passed a lot of territories to deliver this message so I sure hope he’s alright¨ Roman has always thought she was a worried mother even to him when he went on long trips.

Roman stepped out from behind the screen and reassured her ¨ He’s fine! He may act reckless but he's very calculating… but expect him a few hours later than what the estimated time of return” Roman slipped away looking for his shoes. ¨Oh and why is that?¨ she asked, hands on her hips, Roman gave a nervous chuckle.

Shouldn't have let that slip.

“Roman…” Ruth said in a warning tone. Remy was going to kill him but he didn’t want to die at his nurse’s hands “Remy’s been... seeing... this person a-and when his message trip aligns with where they live… he spends some time with the person so…” Ruth looked at him as if deciding something, “As Remy’s mother, I thank you for telling me the truth..” Roman was relieved “But, as your mother, I have to say…YOU SNITCH! Snitches get stitches for a reason!” Roman laughed genuinely and Ruth joined.

After their giggle fit, they heard someone knock on the door. Ruth went to answer the door, it was a guard “His and her highness request the prince’s presence,” Ruth thanked the guard and turned around and Roman looked mortified, “Roman, you have to talk to them.” Roman had never heard Ruth speak that soft. Roman only felt dread “Ruth I don't want to go” He was genuinely petrified.

“I understand, but they are very understanding and I believe they wouldn't punish you for simply trusting the wrong person” Roman shook his head “ They’re already so protective. They always had me under knight or guard surveillance but now they might do something so I won’t be able to sneak by” Roman was panicking and Ruth noticed, she walked up to him. And took his hand “Roman they just want the best for you…” Roman took his hand away from her own “No! They are just afraid they aren’t going to have an heir after one of them ran away.” Roman's hands were in his hair and his eyes started to glaze over.

Roman was very much not over his brother's apparent “disappearance”

“I understand Remus vanishing has affected your parents over protectiveness, BUT they have always aimed to protect you but after what happened...can you really blame them for it?” Roman sighed, Ruth forced his hands out of his hair, he took a shaky breath to calm down “No, but getting hurt is part of life! So what if I trusted the wrong person? Everyone does!” He gestured to the sky as if it was the only person listening, he felt so defeated.

“Well I can't change anything so, you should tell your parents that!” She didn’t know what to say to make things better. “I’ll try, let’s just hope they at least try to listen” he left it there and headed out of his bedroom’s oak doors, he never liked disagreeing with Ruth.

Roman walked down the long hallway towards the throne room but, of course, he wasn’t alone because that would be too much to ask apparently. Instead he was being escorted to see his parents by the guard that had informed him his parents required him. He already knew what they were going to talk to him about and he was dreading it.

Why did he have to make such a mistake?

Did the universe want him to not trust anyone after what happened?! If it would make the sinking feeling in his stomach leave then he would happily oblige.

The guard stopped at the throne rooms doors and Roman took a deep breath as the guard gave him side eye glance and opened the doors, “You required my presence?” Roman spoke trying to keep his voice steady and his head high, “Yes, Roman, we would actually like to talk to you about last week's event…?” He phrased it as a question a little too late. Roman’s father, King Leonardo, wasn’t an emotionally driven person and never was truly soft with anything he said, but he cared. The way he was soft spoken with Roman was just having the opposite effect that his father wanted.

Roman’s mother, Queen Victoria, was very comforting and always tried to shield her children from harm's way, but coming from a family of royals, she didn't have an example to follow but she wanted to be there for her child. “Roman, my little lion heart, I need you to keep in mind this is for your safety...ok?” Following everything by the book, always looking and being her best, so she would be a good example even if she wasn't nurturing, all she wished was for Roman to know she loved him and Remus with her whole being, Roman just gave her a tense nod as a response.

Roman’s Father spoke up, “Roman, you're going to be under knight supervision at all times,” That wasn't as bad as Roman expected, he basically already was! Anything but to be stuck in that damn tower “...And you have to stay in the south tower-” ...He should have knocked on wood.

“Father, I did nothing wrong! I shouldn't be punished for this-” Romans mother spoke up, she knew both her son and husband could be hot headed. She wanted to stop anything before it got the chance to begin “Roman this isn't to punish you! We want to protect you-” The Queen sounded like she was pleading with her son.

Roman did not hear her plea or just ignored it “...For how long do I have to stay there?” Roman’s mother spoke up, “Don't worry, you'll be there maximum 2-”

“Indefinitely.”

The King spoke in a cold unforgiving tone, Roman knew he had messed up big time. Victoria turned to her husband “Leo, we agreed he wouldn't be there for more than 2 fortnights, we agreed on that.” The Queen seemed upset but was obviously attempting not to show such emotion.

“Those were the rules we agreed to when he was a child and he would grant being punished” Both of Roman’s parents were staring at each other, showing they weren't going to back down.

Roman spoke, “Understood.” His voice was mostly monotone but tight, Victoria turned to him with an apologetic gaze. Roman shook his head. It was his own fault, his mother shouldn't blame herself for his actions.

“I'll tell Ruth, so we can pack.” Roman turned to leave but his father had more to say. “Before you go, Hugo won't be your assigned knight. One of the new recruits is climbing in status and popularity very quickly and he agreed to-” “babysit” Roman cut in. “-protect you. As long as I recommended him to Queen Marie for her armada”

As if things couldn't get any better, he had to meet this new recruit, he hoped they would at least get along. Roman just nodded and opened the door to leave. At that moment, Roman’s father called the guard that had escorted Roman to get the new recruit as soon as possible, he just left as quickly as he could.

His parents knew that not being around people and not being able to talk were some of the worse things that could happen to him. They decided it was going to be the way to punish him. Though, he never stayed for more than a month, now he understood why.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman- basically power walked- back to his room, his brain tortured him with memories of his 7 year old self being forced onto the tower for the first time.

No! Please it was an accident-!

I won't do it again!

I won't- Please!

That was all he said as his father signaled the guards to take him, his mother not being able to look, turned her head away, trying to ignore every motherly instinct in her body to stand up and comfort her child.

The guards dragged him out of the castle- the only home he knew- and shoved him in a carriage, where Ruth was waiting for him. Ruth had always been happy around him but her expression was unreadable -looking back she seemed angry, he just hadn't seen her that way before- but, Roman didn't care. He threw himself onto Ruth and sobbed his tiny heart out, Ruth trying her best to calm him down, he eventually fell asleep. Three hours later, he was woken up by Ruth.

“Were here, principito”

Roman was scared. Ruth saw it in his eyes.

“Come on! You offend me, you really think I would let them take you to a scary place?”

The little royal could only muster a small “no”. Ruth took his hand and walked with him toward a tower. Roman thought it was beautiful, that's the day he figured beautiful things can hurt you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman never got used to it. He always dreaded the ride there, all the build up to the feeling of nothingness. When he looked up at the tower, he got the same feeling that he did when he was 7, Roman learned to not look up. He’d always prefer being in the tower when he was a kid because, back then they allowed Ruth to stay behind with him. Now she would only go in the carriage with him and leave.

After they stopped allowing Ruth to stay with him, at least he had Hugo to bother, by asking him for stories of his adventures. He didn't have that anymore.

The only adventure story he had now was a vibrant red book, in the book shelf of the tower, the only fictional book in his whole collection. He will admit, it was a very smart move on his parent’s part. They always monitored what he read, filled his whole book shelf in the tower with Philosophy, Math, and Royalty etiquette. When he begged for weeks on end for an adventure book they granted him one but, they made sure it was the only book that was fictional. They wouldn't give him an adventure book based on real events, No! That would be giving Roman too much hope.

Good move.

#roman sanders #roman angst #sanders sides roman #ts roman #prinxiety #ts prinxiety #future prinxiety #sanders sides #ts princey

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earthfire-75 · 3 years ago

Text

Kashmir

Chapter One, Part Two: Kashmir (The Trick is to Keep Breathing)

Author’s notes: co-written with @nature-and-music , beta-ed by @lady-jane-revisited

A lopsided smile tugged at his lips, “I’ll get them for you.”

“No thank you Robert, Grant gave me the money and I’ll pay for it.”

“Oh please, just one of them then?”

I shook my head, “No it’s fine. Besides, we need to head back.”

He pursed his lips and huffed, “Alright, if you say so.”

The purchase was completed and it was time to head out, however Robert was speaking to the woman behind the counter; or flirting no less. She nodded her head and wrote something down on a note by the dresses that he brought to her.

“Thank you darlin’, have a pleasant rest of your day.”

I chuckled, “Giving her the number to your hotel room?”

“Not exactly, Anjelika. Come on we better hurry, the party’s going to start soon and you still need to do your hair and makeup,” he informed.

Somewhere along the line, we lost the other three band members. Robert took me to the hotel they were staying at, figuring they would all meet up there anyway. He let me borrow his bathroom to change and do my hair and makeup.

“What kind of party is it? Formal or informal?”

“Well, I’m wearing a suit, if that helps?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ok.” I picked out the longer dress and started getting ready. I could hear Robert rummaging around in the other room and assumed he was doing the same. I just finished when Robert knocked on the door.

“I need the mirror, love. Gotta comb out my hair and beard.”

I flung the door open, grabbing the comb from the counter. “Don’t you dare take a comb to those curls! Tell me you have a pick.”

He swallowed. “Technically? I left it at home?”

I didn’t say anything else, but grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the common room and to the couch. I then sat, pulling him down next to me. It was then I noticed what suit he was wearing, and still with his beard. Fuck! He wasn’t yet wearing the jacket, but he had the vest on and the top two or three bottoms of his shirt were left undone. Now it was my turn to swallow hard as I leaned in with the comb to fix his beard. Then I started to run my fingers through his hair carefully.

“If you forget your pick again, use your fingers, not a comb or brush. You could ruin your curls otherwise.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Good. Now, we should probably get going.”

We both stood and, as Robert grabbed his jacket from the arm of the couch, we left the hotel room and headed downstairs. “The party is being held in the hotel restaurant,” Robert informed me.

At first, the party seemed more like a meet and greet with the other roadies and their tour manager, who seemed unimpressed that I was “some bird” Jimmy picked up off the street. But none of the boys were having it. Robert happily reassured the crew that I was indeed more than “some bird,” that in fact I was assigned to be a part of the touring as well. To be equipped with the behind the scene matters and the roadies would simply need to learn to live with this sudden change. Being the new kid in town was never easy, and I was feeling beyond self conscious about this, however I had to keep my intrusive thoughts at bay. New learning opportunities would be coming up and it was all a matter of learning the ropes. Even if a fair amount of the crew thought of me as another to be shared among the members of the band, especially with Robert since he had locked arms with me.

The party started off fairly quiet at first as we all sat down at our tables to listen to a congratulatory speech from Grant. He had nothing but high expectations for everyone involved and that this tour would be bigger and heavier than the previous one. I felt a hand touch my lap and I followed the arm to see Robert’s concerned expression. I gave him a little smile to reassure him that I was alright. The last thing that I needed to do was interrupt Peter in the middle of his talk, and right before my first day no less.

A line was formed as everyone made their way to be serviced by the chefs. All manner of succulent cuts of meat, freshly cooked fish, bubbling champagne, and assorted hors d'oeuvres were ready to be served. Everything looked so delicious and oh so appetizing, I just simply couldn’t believe my eyes. As we stood in line, I overheard Jonesy and Jimmy mention something, although it was hard to hear amongst the chatter of Robert talking to Bonzo.

“How do you suppose they’ll feel about touring?” Jimmy asked.

Jonesy shrugged, “Well, hopefully their antics won’t take away from the show. And your guitars won’t get demolished as well.”

Jimmy scowled, “If he even thinks about touching any of my guitars, I’ll bash his head in!”

“If you do, she’ll end up giving you a black eye. You know that she has a bit of a ‘short’ temper,” the bassist chuckled. “Besides, I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Well you're the bass guitar player, none of your things will be obliterated,” Jimmy whined.

Bonzo joined in, “Not unless a certain someone decides to shove a cherry bomb in the strings.”

Jonesy smiled and rolled his eyes, “Well I suppose I’ll just need to stand close to Thunderfingers won’t I?”

Guitars being destroyed? Cherry bombs? My curiosity peaked, however I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. At least not until I knew a little more of what or who they were referring to. We made our way to the table and enjoyed our delicious food and sparkling drinks. The champagne flowed like rain down our throats as the appetizing meals made our mouths water. A few questions were directed to me regarding how I was feeling about the new job and I answered honestly.

I smiled meekly, “Well I’m very excited about this. This is going to be something different for me for sure, but I’ll do my best.”

“You will darlin’, you will,” Robert smirked as he patted my hand. “So how long have you been playing and singing?”

“Well, for a while actually. I just picked up a few lessons from my dad and just… learned a bit on my own.”

Jimmy noted, “I did a bit of session work when I was a lad. Learned a few things myself along the way.”

Robert butted in, “Well I hope we can hear more of your singing and playing while on tour. I think you’ll sound wonderful, and the audience will love it.”

I felt myself clam up a bit at the prospect of playing before a live audience, even though it was a touching notion on Robert’s part. I didn’t think it was necessary to get myself even more involved than necessary, especially since a fair amount of the road crew weren't exactly pleased with me being here. I gave Robert a little smile and a shrug and let him know that we could put that idea on the back burner.

“I’m curious though…who were the three of you talking about earlier? You mentioned something about guitars being destroyed?” I asked. I had hoped they would have said more by now, but since they hadn’t and my curiosity was getting the better of me…I had to ask.

Jonesy laughed a little. “Interesting wording. We were talking about another band who will be touring with us. Interestingly enough, they are called The Who. They’ve got a habit of destroying their equipment. Jimmy was concerned it might spill over to ours as well.”

I know of them, of course and of that particular habit, though I had thought they had stepped doing so by this time. Then again, it's a different universe, likely also a different timeline. “I see,” I said instead. Looking at Bonzo, I got his attention. It was as good a time as any to talk to him, but I didn’t know what the other boys knew.

“Bonzo? Can we talk? Alone?”

“Uh, sure. Looks like there’s a spot at the bar surprisingly clear of people.”

We got up from the table and walked over to the bar, ordering ourselves a drink before I started the conversation, but Bonzo beat me to it.

“So…yer a Nightbane too?” He asked with such nonchalance.

“Yeah, I am. So are you. Do they know?”

“Yeah, they do. Rob found out first. He was there during my Becoming. Scared the daylights out of ‘im, but it was like he still knew it was me. Jimmy found it ‘fascinating’. Jonesy took it the worst, almost left the band when he first found out. But he came around.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and downed my drink. How did the fact that they all knew Bonzo was a Nightbane make it both a relief and up my anxiety about them finding out I was one too? Would they be able to accept the creature beneath as easily as they had with Bonzo? Granted my other form wasn’t monstrous in the traditional sense, yet, I still worried it would scare them off at best.

Bonzo smiles a little. “Don’t worry, Jonesy might freak out a little, but I really don’t think you need to worry about Rob and Jimmy at all.”

“Thanks, Bonzo.”

Someone cleared their throat behind us and we turned to see Robert. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but the other bands just showed up. I thought you might like to meet them, Anjelika.”

He stepped to the side and I found the members of The Who standing there, looking at me. I knew each of them by name and face, even as they introduced themselves, though I did a double take as my eyes landed on the shortest member. There, with the same blue eyes I had seen so many times before, was a very feminine looking Roger Daltrey. Now I know I’m not in my own universe…

“Rogina Daltrey,” she introduced herself to me, her blue eyes never leaving mine.

“Anjelika,” I responded back with a smile and she in return gave me a smirk.

“Bonzo!” Keith uttered, a drink in one hand as he hugged his fellow drummer, “You gained a few stones since last I saw you.”

Bonzo rolled his eyes as he chortled, holding his head in a strong arm grip. Keith complained that his champagne would fall out, but that didn’t stop Bonzo from treating him like a sibling. “Moonie, why don’t you and the lads say hello to our new friend here, yeah?”

John and Pete made their acquaintances, Keith was able to give her a little wave of his hand until Bonzo finally let him go and gave him a good slap on the back.

“You’ll have to excuse Keith, he’s a bit loonie as you can see,” Pete explained. “So what brings you here?”

“Well I’ll be going on tour with the band, and it looks like I’ll be seeing you four as well.”

Rogina interjected, “Is that right? What will you be doing?”

“A roadie, so I’ll be around helping with getting everything ready,” I mentioned.

“She might even do a bit of performing as well,” Robert mentioned proudly.

I was silent as The Who stared at me, my throat becoming dry. I tried to play off his comment as a joke, “Good one Robert. He’s just kidding-”

Rogina tilted her head as she looked at me, “Are you sure? Because if you can sing, we’d love to hear you.”

My heart was pounding, all I could give her was an unsure shrug, “Um, another time… maybe. Say why do you all go get something to eat, the food is very delicious here.”

Keith was already off to find himself a plate, with John closing in behind him. Pete kept himself occupied with discussing business matters with Jimmy and Grant. Rogina on the other hand decided to stay and talk a bit more. Everything about this Roger was pretty much the same: The height, the golden corkscrew curls, ocean blue eyes, toothy grin, muscular arms, and stylish clothing. Still it was odd speaking with her, considering the obvious factors such as a slightly higher register in her voice and the presence of breasts that protruded from her suit.

“So how did you manage to work with Zeppelin?” Rogina asked.

I tried to answer as best as I could, “Oh well… you see Jimmy let me know that a spot was available actually.” I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t tell her that Jimmy had found me like an abandoned cat in an alleyway that he felt sorry for. A little of me to say, but still I couldn’t seem to add that in.

“Is it true what Robert said about you performing? I mean you seemed awfully quiet when he brought it up.”

I sighed at the question, barely keeping myself from pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m quickly learning that Robert's a little like a puppy…very excitable. I played a little bit for them to prove that I know what I’m doing with the guitars. Something came over me and I sang a little bit too. I never agreed to playing in front of anyone else. Let alone in front of a huge audience.”

Rogina’s smile softened at that. “He really is, though I’m sorry to hear you won’t be playing. The offer is always open and I meant what I said, I'd love to hear from you. if you change your mind.”

I returned her smile and I knew I was going to love this version of Roger too. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

G made his way over with a couple other people, one looked vaguely familiar, the other I didn’t recognize. “Anjelika! I want to introduce you to Ahmet Ertegun, owner of Atlantic Records. He’s here to support the boys. And this is Alice Cooper, joining us on the American leg of the tour.”

Both men stuck a hand out for me to shake. I took Ahmet’s first who placed his other hand over mine gently. “I must thank you for joining the road crew, dear. Though, I must admit, I was shocked to hear you were a woman. Forgive me, I mean no offense, it’s just never been done before.”

I smiled at Ahmet, trying not to take offense. It may be a different universe, but apparently the ‘70’s were still the ‘70’s. Turning to Alice, I shook his hand next, barely recognizing him without the makeup.

“I don’t know if shocked is the word I would have used, but I guess I am a little surprised. Didn’t figure I’d see a female roadie for another decade at least. Don’t get me wrong, I love that women are getting more and more involved in rock. And if anyone gives you any shit, just say the word.”

My smile grew wider at Alice’s genuine words. “Thank you, I appreciate that. Though, I assure you, I can handle myself.”

“I’m certain you can, but the offer is still on the table. I would like to stay and get to know you a little more, but I need to get back to my girlfriend. It was nice meeting you, Anjelika.”

“I’m sure there will be time to get to know each other more on the road and it was nice to meet you too.”

“Fair enough. See you tomorrow, then.” And with that he was off. G and Ahmet soon excused themselves to go talk to the boys and I was left at the bar once more with Rogina next to me.

Rogina sighed, “I know this must be all new to you. Believe me that being a woman involved in rock and roll seems to weird people out, especially guys.”

I gave her a reassuring grin, “Yeah, I’m sure you probably have gone through a lot.”

Rogina took a sip of her flute, “I may have a few stories. One of them involves Keith actually.”

I leaned in, “What happened?”

“Well let’s just say he thought that he could get away with copping a feel. He lost a couple of teeth that night,” Rogina chuckled. “The bastard will never live that moment down.”

I wasn’t sure if I could share a laugh with Rogina, even though she was able to find humor in such a terrible situation. All I could muster was a nervous smile and a nod.

Rogina took another sip of her champagne, rested her head on her palm, and pondered, “So is this your first time working with Zeppelin?”

“Yes actually. And I hope that I’ll do alright while on tour,” I admitted.

“I think you will,” Rogina claimed with a warm smile. “So what would you like to drink? The champagne is alright, but I think I’ll get a whiskey instead.”

I was taken aback, “Oh well… a beer sounds good.”

Truthfully, a Nightbane could easily drink any of these mortals under the table. As to how I would do against Bonzo, a fellow Nightbane, well that would be a matter for another day. Still I was grateful knowing that Bonzo could understand, and hopefully the remainder of Zeppelin, Who, and Cooper would as well. However it was too early to let the rest of them know. In time I would say something, only when the moment felt right.

As we waited for our drinks, I felt a strange looming presence behind me. My throat went dry the moment I turned around to see John Entiwistle, the Ox himself, towering over the two of us. Rogina on the other hand casually remarked, “I thought you were supposed to be babysitting our dear boy.”

“Well quite frankly I need a break from him,” John mentioned with a deep chortle. “I think as long as nothing blows up tonight, he’ll tire himself out eventually.” He gestured to the bartender and asked for a glass of cognac.

Rogina nodded and asked him, “Where did Pete go?”

“Probably talking some poor bastard’s ear off about Lifehouse,” he laughed.

“Oh come on John, the man just wants to share his work to the world,” Rogina noted.

John leaned in towards me, “She says that, but even she gets tired of his songs about teenage angst.”

Rogina scowled at him, “I do not.”

John raised his eyebrows, “Keep telling yourself that Rog. It was Anjelika right?”

I nodded, “Yes John.”

He responded with a handshake, “Pleasure to meet you.”

“And you as well”, I responded with a return of his handshake. “I take Keith's handful?”

Rogina and John laughed. “That’s putting it mildly some days.” John admitted.

“I swear the man can’t not cause trouble in some fashion or another for even a few hours.” Rogina adds.

“I think there’s some unspoken rule that drummers are all crazy,” I chuckled.

“That explains everything, actually.” John said with a chuckle of his own. Rogina just shook her head.

I looked up to see the time on a clock on the wall. Midnight. Where had the time gone? “I should head up to get some sleep, I want to be up early to grab a few things I forgot earlier today from the drug store across the way. Besides, I’m assuming the roadies will be up earlier than the bands to pack up the buses.” Downing the last of my beer, I shook John’s hand again. “It was nice meeting you.” I set the empty bottle on the bar and left a few bills before turning to Rogina. “Thank you for the beer.”

She surprised me by pulling me into a hug instead of giving me a handshake. “Any time. And I’ll add to what Alice said earlier. Anyone gives you any trouble, let me know, I’ll kick their ass.”

“Thank you. But I really need to go.” With that I went to find G to figure out where I would sleep tonight. I found him still with the boys, though it appeared that Ahmet had left. I explained to G that I wanted to get to bed and why, but it was Robert who interjected.

“You can stay in my room for tonight,” Robert offered. “The rest of your things are still there from earlier.”

I had forgotten about that. Hesitantly I nodded in agreement, even if I was worried about what the other roadies, especially Cole, might say. “Alright, as long as this doesn’t become a habit. Just for tonight.”

I could see the disappointment behind Robert’s eyes, but he agreed. “Here, take my key, just leave the door unlocked so I can get in later.”

Nodding, I took the key and thanked him before heading upstairs to the room, getting as comfortable on the couch as I could.

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