#should never be vulnerable because my friends don't care

[dragonroar64]

im finally back with another pvpciv headcanon. I live my brain is finally having more thoughts than just a single sentence. good luck there's more angst ahead

okay so! in the most recent episode, y'know how Evbo goes and gets the other diamond swords to pay for things? that seems perfectly normal, right? wrong. Evbo can respawn. he could've just passed his sword off to whoever had the least amount of durability left and then came back down to buy things himself. but he didn't. he asked others for help(side note:I love the silly little found family going on here it brings me joy. look at them!!!).

my personal theory for why he'd ask the other diamond swords to buy these things for him is because he doesn't want to have to respawn ever again, or more accurately: he doesn't want to die ever again. I imagine if you'd died dozens if not hundreds of times you'd never want to do so again. not even on your own terms, not even when you're going to come back to people who care about you, not even if you wouldn't have to do it again any time soon. Evbo probably doesn't want to experience dying again, probably doesn't want to wake up in his room on the wooden sword level holding a weapon made of the weakest material around, much more vulnerable than he is anyways. do you think being there bothers him? do you think traveling down through the layers makes old memories and old pains flair up?

do you think that the other diamond swords know about this and try to help Evbo avoid going through it again? do you think that's why they help him pay for things without suggesting a respawn? do you think they're reluctant to send him out to the other civilizations? do you think they feel like he's a sort of annoying little brother to them, but still a brother and therefore someone they care about?

anyways I just think this found family thing going on w/the diamond swords should be explored more. like what if they saw how much he devolved on every trip to the golden sword level and just assumed his deterioration was caused just by the golden level itself and only learned later about what exactly happened on the iron sword level? they probably weren't watching all of his video journal updates. he probably didn't make one after every death. what if they didn't find out until just a little while before Evbo made it to the diamond swords level. or what if they didn't find out until after he made it back after Tabi killed him. what if he'd managed to stay strong up until he realized his closest friend didn't actually care about him and after the fact he just spilled his guts out about it to the diamond swords. what if they help him buy stuff because they don't want him to ever have to go through a respawn again

tldr what if the diamond swords help Evbo buy things in the newest episode because they know respawning is a horrible experience for him

[stereax]

saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:

oh...

[the-tarot-witch22]

Love letter from your future spouse 💌 - Pick a pile

Note : *Some intense se*ual messages for you guys too, soo minors DNI*

Pile 1/Pile 2

Pile 3/ Pile 4

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to!

Note : This reading is based on my intuition and channeled messages from tarot cards.

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

*Buy me a kofi*

Pile 1

(The cards I got ace of pentacles, ace of cups, 2 of cups, page of cups, and the fool)

Hello my dearest,

What can I say? I didn't even meet you and yet I still miss you. Am I going mad, my love? I am working towards my goal and I have almost everything i need at the moment but why do I still feel that longing and sadness, am I insane for this? my life has been okay, I work or study and do what needs to be done, but is it weird to say i am searching for you? I hope you feel the same way… sometimes i dream of you or have that romantic dreams where you are there and when i wake up… nothing? It's making me lose my mind, i can't really talk about it with everyone, they will or might think i am just desperate for some shit, but i am not i want something serious, i want you. I have fun too i sometimes go out with my friends we laugh together, but still when I look at them or when they talk about their lovers or text them in front of me, i just miss you.. Am i being too much? probably but i wanted to tell of this to you, I feel like i need some rest or space from everything or just go somewhere where i can be alone with my and your thoughts, but the responsibilities are holding me back , I wish you were here to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Sometimes I feel like we make some telepathic or some sort of connection and i feel that intense vibrations in my body, I haven't even met you and here I am being vulnerable, But i know you will love this side of me, will you not? I also want to tell you you're doing great and you will achieve everything you have dreamt of please take proper care of yourself, I wanna meet you soon, and have the love , fun i never experienced or had, You know love, what's funny thing is? I never had something serious or people had just taken advantage of me, but you without even meeting you, i can tell you are what i need. Please be patient for me, universe is in work and they will help us meet at divine timing and I can't wait for it. Until then, my love.

Phew so intense they had a lot to say to you, and they seem so sweet, don't they? i wish you meet them soon.

Pile 2:

(the cards I got 3 of cups, the star, 5 of cups and king of cups)

hey ;)

Hello my star, what are you up to nowadays? Are you having fun without me? wait don't answer me that i might get jealous over it, what's wrong with me I am not scaring you away am I? I tend to speak my mind, and show what I feel, because that's how I am. But sincerely tho, i hope you are having fun and celebration and you are enjoying your life, you know this is what we should do? Like just enjoy our times, I know how hectic life can get and we all deserve the break, so do it for you don't let anyone tell you that you are not doing enough because my star , you are and i already swooning over here from the thoughts of you, would you like to hear about my life too? I will tell you what I am doing nowadays, I had lost something precious to me, I know not a way great way to start a conversation right? But i wanna tell you, I lost something, i hate that I did, but to be honest? If it leads me to you , then i am willing to sacrifice anything for it, i wish we could meet sooner, but i know this distance this gap between us only increase our love towards each other, because distance makes heart grows fonder right? Now I wont deny when I lost that thing I was sad and even cried, But now I am healing and your thoughts are helping me? Do you miss me too at the same time? and wonder what we could have been doing if we were together? Because I do. Always. It's not even funny at this point. Gosh your thoughts make me feel all romantic thoughts, you are such a tease by the way hiding away and making desperate for you, don't you worry my star , I will take my revenge when I meet you, sweet revenge, I will tease you so much that you will regret meeting me late, Don't worry I am just kidding, i tend to get intense sometimes, but your thoughts are responsible they make me like this. But right now I am working towards something I am saving money for us our future and maybe kids too? Well, its a conversation for later… But if you don't want kids we can always have pets, right? I want to give you the world, and care for you so much for you. Now, I have to go… Duty calls, but remember I miss you, and I love you even if we haven't met yet.

Pile 2 your fs sounds like a total flirt and a good person, and I love it for you! You guys deserve it <3

Pile 3:

the cards I got (knight of wands, 9 of wands, 3 of wands, 8 of wands)

Hello sexy wanderer,

Do you know what kind of thoughts, I have for you? You my sexy wildcat, you are a pure goddess and you are so beautiful, and what can I say i have such dreams for you, I just wanna tear off your clothes, i will just leave it at that, You feel like a dream come true. Wherever I go I imagine having intense intimate moments with you, and I don't even know why, such a hold you have on me, and guess what we haven't even met yet. I have to say so much to you but i will hold out for now, I don't wanna scare you away, but its totally opposite I don't wanna scare you away but i also want to impress you, I wanna have enjoy small moments with you. I would like to make out and show everyone who you actually love. Not them who stares at your beauty or just wanna have fun with you but me, you chose me, i will show that I am a proud men, and worthy of you, right now I am travelling to far away lands I like doing that you know, but i am gonna coming to meet you soon. And you believe me when i say i will sweep you off your feet and give everything you are worthy of. See you soon.

Wow, they seem too passionate, and you know what? Good for you guys! Their message was short but their energy? give me a fan right now because I need it! They are definitely fire sign and love travelling, and their sexual drive? HIGH. They gave me so much hot kind of energy, I love it for you guys, i totally see you both meeting soon!

Pile 4 :

(the cards I got 4 of pentacles, the magician, ace of wands, strength, The Hermit, 6 of cups, 3 of pentacles)

Sweetheart? Once, we meet I am not letting you go ever, But i will make sure you know that I deserve you, I might make mistakes here and there, but that's just me being foolish or silly, but I never intend to fight with you or hurt you, You know I am a bit overprotective, but if you don't like that I am willing to change my ways for you, Right now there is so much work pressure on me, i feel overwhelmed so I decided to talk with you, even though we are not in each other's lives right now, I feel I can talk to you about anything you make me feel safe like i can be myself, i never had that, it was always me making efforts, but with you i can feel we are each other's light, and I wish we cross each other's path soon, right now i am enjoying my alone time, I am not dating around, I am waiting for you sweetheart, and I have a feeling we will know we are the ones for each other. I feel we have known each other in past lives or we might have each cross each other's path, but that time timing might not be right, And we both needed to learn some lessons before we meet again, and honestly? I'd like that. I wanna be the best men for you. I love you, and for you I am willing to fight anything or anyone, Some people think i am workaholic, but they don't know what I feel, or who i feel for the person i feel for is you, you make me wanna be a better man, i wish there wasn't this much wait for us to meet, I have so much to tell you, Sometimes I end up fighting with my close ones, I regret it, I am a very calm person but when someone provokes me? I can't take it. I am working on that too. And that's why we are having our self journey's together and let's meet at our best, sweetheart. Till then remember I am here waiting for you and trying to be a best person who deserves you. I love you my sweetheart.

Okayyyy, very masculine and hardworking energy, they or you might be spiritual too, you meeting will be for the best, for some of you i feel friends to lovers trope going to be here, your man sounds so sweet yet tired. But he is doing his best, you guys got a gem.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[jessnotfoundd]

Friends- Lando Norris (Mirror Sex)

20! KINKTOBER! MINORS DNI

Remember this contains sexual descriptions, nudity, and intercourse.

Lando and I had been friends since kids, until last year, when he needed to get married to someone quickly because of his mafia business. We lived in a huge property in Monaco but I am always used to being alone. I was ready for bed when a loud bang caught my attention. I run in its direction. The kitchen.

He was standing there, with cuts and bruises on his face.

"What happened?" I ask completely worriedly, he wasn't one to take hits.

"Got to sleep" his tone is cold, like always.

"Lan" I whisper, walking to him. Avoiding eye contact he washes his cuts in the sink, splashing his face with cold water.

"Like I said, go to bed," He says in the same emotionless tone. But I stubbornly step closer to him. "Why are you coming closer?" he looks at me over his shoulder.

"I want to check on you... please" I whisper, still worried about his cuts' deepness.

He lets out a heavy sigh "It's nothing... I'm fine" I take the cloth he's holding, my eyes maintaining eye contact with him. "I'm truly fine, I don't need your help" he mutters.

"I know, but still" I start to work on his cuts "Let me" I smile weakly.

"You're so damn stubborn" Grumbling under his breath he finally gives in, letting me work on his cuts, resting his waist against the counter.

I pay attention to his face, seems like he doesn't feel any hurt from the cuts at all. His stare is fixed on me as I take care of him.

"Yep, I am" I smirk. "You don't have to act like you're not hurting...not with me" I turn his face to the side.

"Hmph" mumbles and stays quiet as I continue to take care of him.

I take his eyes on me, I knew he was trying to suppress his vulnerability. He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure.

"You don't have to be so gentle. I've had worse" He tries to sound nonchalant, but deep down he appreciates my concern, even though he would never admit it.

"Just because you had worse before, doesn't mean you have to be rough" I stop for a minute to look at him.

"I've got a reputation to maintain... you know" He says, half-jokingly, the corner of his mouth curving up in the smallest smile possible.

"Not with me" I go back to clean the last cuts and dry blood.

He raises an eyebrow, his eyes locking onto mine. "Oh really? you think it's easy to let my guard down around you just because you're my wife?"

"I mean, it should, we were friends..."

He lets out a humorless laugh.

"I've spent my entire life hiding behind walls. Letting my guard down is not something I'm used to doing, especially not around you... you know a lot"

"Especially not around me," I repeat. "Woah"

He could tell that hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that, it's just ... you make me feel things I'm not used to feeling... it's " He looks away. "Uncomfortable"

"I know... but I could be your walls, you can rely on me"

He moves his eyes and I can see the relief and vulnerability at my words. Knowing he might be feeling the necessity of pulling me away, but I also knew I was carving my way through his heart.

"You don't know what you're saying" He sighs.

"I know exactly what I'm saying"

"It's not that simple. Letting someone in means I'd have to be vulnerable, and I have enemies all around me... I can't afford to be vulnerable" he speaks his mind.

I hold his cheeks "You don't have to be tough all the time."

"I've been tough my whole life. I can't just change that, even for the sake of being vulnerable with you" He takes a few deep breaths, trying to keep his emotions in check. "you're making this hard for me, you know that?" He lets out another deep sigh. "God, you have no idea the power you have over me" He murmured quietly.

"I do?" I smile, knowing I have made my way.

He nods slightly, his eyes still locked on mine. "Yes, you do. You can make me feel things I thought I was incapable of feeling. You challenge all the walls I’ve built up over the years, and you make me want to tear them all down for you. It’s both maddening and terrifying at the same time"

I kiss the tip of his nose.

"Why do you have to be so damn gentle?" he whispers.

"Just with you" I whisper back.

I feel his facial expression soften under my touch, Even though he's always portrayed as cold and aloof, knowing the effect I have on him. He gently grabs my wrist, leaving my hands still on his cheeks.

"You're such a bad influence on me, you know that?" His tone is half serious, half teasing.

"Oh, since we were fifteen" I joke and he lets out a low laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You seem positively gleeful about it too. My little troublemaker" He squeezes my wrists lightly. Keeping his hold on me. He steps closer to me, closing the distance between our bodies. "You shouldn't have this much power over me..." He whispers and closes his eyes for a few seconds. "Why can't I resist you?" He murmurs, his voice laced with both frustration and longing.

"Well, I think it's because of how pretty I am," I say and he laughs lowly, opening his eyes, meeting my gaze again.

"Well it's certainly not because of your modesty" He jokes with a smile.

"Or maybe you can't resist me because of the way I do your favorite foods, or I take care of your wounds." I list and he raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, so you think you've won me over with your cooking skills and your nursing abilities? just feeding and patching me up like a lost puppy?" he chuckles, trying to brush off the sincerity of your words.

"The way I take your cock" I whisper and see him choking on his breath, clearly not expecting me to say something so boldly. He looks away for a moment.

"You can't just blurt something like that out," he says, his voice slightly hoarse.

"How I take your backshots" I continue listing, a light blush on display on my face.

He groans, his eyes closing as your words continue to affect him. He's starting to lose his grip on his own self-control.

"Jesus Christ" he curses under his breath, not able to focus on anything but the images of my words planted on his head. He opens his eyes, his gaze locking onto mine. "you're trying to kill me, aren't you? driving me insane with those filthy words of yours"

He moves his hands from my wrist to my hips pressing me against him.

"I'm just listing why you can't resist me" I smirk.

He growls. "Well. your listing is not helping your case. If you keep going, I won't be able to hold back any longer" he says through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, what do you have in mind?"

He hesitates for a moment, and I sense his eyes roaming over my face and body.

"You really want to know what I have in mind?" He asks, his voice thick with desire.

"Maybe I can tell you what I have in mind" I whisper closer to his ear.

I feel the shiver that goes over his body as he feels my breath against his ear. "And what do you have in mind, princess?" he asks, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hips.

"Remember that big mirror I made install in front of the bed? the large one..." I hint, hoping he knows what I'm implying.

"Oh, the large mirror," he says with a sly smirk slowly spreading across his face. Knowing exactly what I'm implying. "You're playing a dangerous game here, you know that? Teasing me like this, whispering your dirty thoughts in my ear"

I hold his hand. intertwining our hands, walking him to our room. Once we are in the room, I make him sit on the bed, untying the strips of my bed dress and he holds my now just in underwear-covered hips.

"You're so damn beautiful" He murmurs under his breath, his eyes darkened with a mix of lust and admiration. He pulls me closer, making me straddle his lap. He ran his hands over my body, feeling the warmth of my skin under his fingers, His eyes roaming over every inch of me. "You drive me insane," He says through gritted teeth, his hands grabbing my ass now.

"I want you to fuck me Lando, I need it."

He groans, his grip on my ass tightening at my blunt words. "Princess you have no idea how much those words make me want to lose control" He murmurs, voice thick with raw hunger.

I kiss him, forcing his back to be on the bed.

He allows me to push him down into the bed, kissing me back fiercely, any remnants of his previous control completely gone now. Both of us are completely consumed by desire.

"Let me show you how proud i am to be yours" I whisper, my eyes on his, so he can see the truth in my words.

"You... you're proud to be mine?" his voice is laced with a hint of vulnerability.

"Always have" I whisper getting rid of his shirt.

He helps me discharging his shirt, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands moved to grip my waist too.

"on the bed" He whispers against my ear and I shiver from head to toe. I do as he says. "Good girl" He can tell I am growing impatient. "Doesn't the princess like to be teased?" He moves his finger from my neck to the waistband of my panties.

"No" I grind against him, trying to keep my composure. "Please Lando" I whisper, growing desperate for him to just touch me everywhere.

"So impatient..." he scatters kisses all over my neck "But since you've asked so nicely" he murmurs, his fingers slowly slipping underneath the fabric of the underwear.

"Please" I arch my back a bit "No teasing..." I hold his shoulders.

"Is that how you ask for something you want, princess?" his fingers now hovering over my folds. "You want me to touch you here?" he smirks and I nod frantically.

He flops me on the bed, my back now on the soft mattress, breaking the kiss to get rid of his clothes, leaving me to enjoy the view of him stripping the suit like he was burning, my hand unconsciously slipping down to my folds where his hand was a few seconds ago.

"What are you doing? he says when he notices my hand replacing the now empty spot. "Such a needy little princess, aren't you?" he smirks "On your fours," he says and I do. "Such a good girl", and seconds later, my panties are ripped out of my body.

He reaches out, his hand grabbing my hips. "I love how desperate you are for me, princess, you're all mine now" he whispers, positioned behind me, teasing my entrance.

"P-please lando" I move my head trying to catch sight of him, but I bury my face in the covers when I feel the sting of his hand against my ass. Making me let out a loud moan.

He grabs my hair in a ponytail and makes me look up. The sight of us in the mirror is arousing. "Look at us," he whispers right to my ear.

He starts to move, and my eyes close in pleasure. His moves are short and slow but hard, I could practically feel the budge on my stomach.

"F-faster" I lift my ass, looking at the reflection in the mirror, our bodies now made all one. He speeds the shots, my back arching.

"Does that feel good, princess?" he smacks my ass again and nod. "Words... I need words."

"Y-yes" I grip the sheets.

He pulls my hair a bit harder. "Look how pretty you look while taking me," he whispers, kissing my back. I want you to make a mess." He's now holding my face in the mirror's direction. "Look how pretty you are taking my cock" he slaps sighty my cheek.

I let out a ragged moan, feeling the heat pooling in my lower belly, knowing I was close.

"I'm c-close," I say, Trying to hold on.

He turns me around, laying me back on the bed again. Missionary this time.

"I want to see you come undone," he smirks, moving his hands to pay attention to my breast, but stops to guide my face to see us in the mirror again. "Look how good you look with me balls buried inside you" I clench around him and he moans.

A few seconds later I release, all over his cock. "La-lando" he keeps moving but I'm too sensitive. He takes his cock out to release on my stomach. I see everything in the reflection in the mirror.

"So pretty, my cum all over your body" he lays down beside me, both of us trying to even our breaths.

After a few minutes he cleans me up and we close our eyes to sleep.

[pomefioredove]

can I have a sugar cookie, #17, with whipped cream, chestnuts and candy cane?

literally these combos are so much fun

order #17, sugar with whipped cream, chestnuts, and candy cane

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ unusual

tropes: friends to lovers, sick fic, royalty AU characters: jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, royalty au didn't make it in here much word count: 600

"So," you start, wringing out a cool cloth and smoothing it over Jade's forehead.

"Let me get this right. Azul can't take care of you because he's studying, and Floyd can't take care of you because you think he's going to... eat you?"

Jade, a pale, shivering mess beneath you, grins. Even in his weakened state, it's unnerving.

"I attempted to do the same to him when we were younger, and I'm sure he's been waiting for his chance to get back at me,"

He says that as if it's a silly prank, or a joke. The twins are weird.

And then he shudders, and goes into another coughing fit. Seeing him like this is almost scarier than seeing him in his unnerving prime.

It's almost... pathetic.

You hesitantly reach out and hold his hand until he's done coughing.

"Ah... ahem... thank you," he says, his voice breathy. "The human form is rather weak."

"You don't get sick where you're from?"

Jade keeps ahold of your hand. "I have people to tend to me, that's all. I'm waited on,"

Of course. He and his brother are so weird, you'd almost forgotten about that. Though, when they say they're they're "heirs" you're pretty sure it's to a criminal empire.

But, oh, well.

"Well, I'm waiting on you. You'll be better in no time," you say.

You take your hand away to open some medicine for him, and Jade just grabs it right back, placing it on his chest.

"And I'm grateful,"

For a moment, you forget where you are and what you're doing, and you just stare.

Another grin pulls at the corners of his lips. "You look frightened. I'm not contagious,"

That snaps you back into place, and you return to tending to him, feeding him a few pills and a generous amount of water.

"I know. You already said that,"

Jade seemingly gets more comfortable in his bed, sighing contentedly as you check the cool cloth on his head again. You've been at his side all day. You were so willing to drop all of your plans to tend to your friend.

It's admirable, in a way. And strange in another.

He looks up at you with something that's almost soft as you replace the cloth.

"Azul isn't studying today. And Floyd most likely would not have eaten me. Neither of them know I'm unwell,"

You stop halfway through wringing out the cloth, turning to him. "What?"

Jade smiles and politely crosses his arms over his chest. "I have a fungal infection. I foolishly disturbed the soil home of a family of spores whilst hiking. I couldn't tell Azul or Floyd, or they would have taken the opportunity to remind me how unusual my interest is. They don't understand it; and they would have blamed my illness on the fungi. But it really wasn't their fault; I should have known better than to disturb their home,"

You blink. He says that all with a merry tone and a smile, but you can feel the vulnerability behind his nonchalance. He's giving it to you on purpose. He wants you to take the bait.

You do.

"...It was an accident. It's no one's fault," you say, sitting beside him again. "And your interest isn't... unusual."

"It's alright if you think it is," Jade smiles. "That doesn't make it bad. You're quite unusual yourself."

Your eyes widen. Since arriving at Night Raven College, you'd been called unusual. Strange, weird, confusing. But never in a kind way.

Never as a compliment.

"...Thank you," you murmur. "You're unusual, too."

"Am I? How flattering,"

Jade chuckles. You smile. He takes your hand in his again. It's quiet, for a short while, and then he starts coughing again, but you stay with him.

Always.

[leaf-line]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐬 𝐀 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

Yandere! Dr Ratio x Gn! Reader

❏ You and Dr Ratio bakes cake after your milestone! All harmless, absolutely nothing bad will happen!

cw: invasion of privacy, implied isolation, people pleaser reader, mentions of insecurities and mental illnesses, suicide.

w/c: 2,856

"I'm starting to see your improvements." Ratio hums, sounding pleased, which is rare for him to do, but it's not impossible.

Contrary to his calm demeanor, you were emotional.

"That's all you could say!? This is big! This is a big deal!!" You cried out, snatching the papers—the fruits of your labor, the results of your hard, hard work—from Veritas.

Your heart was thumping so loudly. It was as if all your red blood cells received glucose simultaneously.

"I can't believe... I got high scores on all tests... All in a row..." You weep out of joy seeing all of them be above the number of 95. You could let your knees fall to the ground and start having a breakdown to release all the stress kept up in your years of living. "My life... Is fulfilled... Suffering... Is no more... Augh—" You state dramatically, Ratio could only scoff at your s-tier performance.

"It is a feat for a person like you. However, this is not the ending point for you to cry out of joy; there's always more to strive for and be better at. The room isn't that small. There's still more for improvement. However... You did great, I'm proud of you for that." He lectures as if to say 95 isn't enough and you need full scores, but honestly, you can't even be mad at him.

After all, he was the one who pushed you to achieve something such as this. If it weren't for him, you'd be nothing but a plain potato who didn't achieve anything meaningful.

A genius prodigy such as him could easily turn a useless stone like you into a shining diamond. You felt grateful.

"Ahaha..." You laugh ironically. "But thanks, it's all thanks to you, you should be proud." You wipe your tears eyes with a finger, then smile brightly at him.

He said nothing, and you grinned. Maybe it was because your smile was so contagious he was stunned, but then again, you don't know what's going on behind that mask of his. You could only see him turn his head away from you.

You wanted to know truly if he's fond of you or not.

Your tutor... No, rather, your friend Ratio was someone you never expected to get along with. Rather, you were extremely opposed to the idea, and perhaps, even was he.

Recalling back to that time, both of you first met... Wasn't exactly the best first impression...

"Welcome, Sir Veritas Ratio. Meet my child... [Name], please take care of them from now on. They might be a little... Uneducated, but I hope that you can help them with that." Your mother pushes your back towards him, in which you internally scowl in return.

You eyed him. He looked rather young to be your tutor.

"Ah, and I couldn't help but notice that both of you are the same age. If that is the case, then I hope that the both of you will get along well!" Your mother cheerfully says so.

You doubted that heavily.

That's because you did your research before meeting him in person.

A lot of people said that the prodigy was cruel, relentless, and maybe even sadistic. And the list goes on. The most positive and recurring mentioned trait of his was being academically talented.

As soon as your mother left you with him, you felt vulnerable, as if you were out in the open and someone was ready to stab you with words like knife, take for example; the person in front of you.

You try to pace down your heartbeat to not overthink it... It works.

It's fine, it's fine, he's a prodigy, surely he knows about the fact of how the human heart is delicate and needs to be handled carefully. What's the worst he could say to you out loud?

No matter what it is, you won't let it reach you!

"Hey... You." He calls out, you prepare yourself.

There's no way he's gonna be 'that' cruel to you... Right? You both just met.

"Have you taken a shower? You stink."

...

A part of you cracked.

"Let's move on quickly, I don't have time to deal with idiots such as you."

And it cracks again.

Yeah... It wasn't the best, but at least he doesn't say that anymore. In fact, it helped you that he said that, since you don't neglect hygienic activities as much anymore. But as Professor Veritas Ratio once said, 'Don't dwell in the past for long,' let's focus on the future and present!

Since this is a milestone for you, you should gift Dr Ratio with a thank you.

"I'm in no need of your services. This feat was only achieved through your hard work. You should treat only yourself." He said out of nowhere.

"Wait— H-How did you even—"

"Your face said it all."

"Huh???"

Dr Ratio seems to have a knack for using his hidden mind-reading powers on you. You don't like that. You'll always feel vulnerable to him every time at this point.

"Ah... Too bad... I was gonna make myself some homemade cake and share it with you... Too bad you don't want it. I guess I'll just stick to being lonely and take it all for myself." You puff out, obviously picking on him.

"Then let me help you, for all I could know, the house might be burned down before you can even bake one successfully." He replies back with no remorse.

"How rude!"

You end up baking at his home.

You simply didn't want the place to be yours since your mom is gonna be there saying you're wasting your time doing all this, so it's gonna be annoying.

And so you're there, stirring a bowl with a whisk, while there's Ratio holding out the instructions. You can't lie; he looks kinda cuter with that apron he's wearing if only his strange plaster sculpture weren't covering his appearance.

"You know... Veritas... You can remove that mask off. Since... Ya know? We're baking."

"Focus on the task at hand."

"Damn..."

You were silenced immediately, so you carefully put down the bowl, ——albeit with a trembling hand that made you feel pathetic——, to move over to the chopping board with the bowl of strawberries that you're gonna cut. You reach out for the knife

...If not for Dr Ratio intervening.

"Let me handle that." He says, practically shoving you away from the chopping board. He takes the knife and chops it with ease despite wearing that weird sculpture on his head. You wonder if he can see with that.

"Woah... Are you worried about me accidentally cutting myself?" Your eyes widen in surprise.

"I didn't know you actually cared for me, Professor Veritas... Hmmm, but I suppose you can't help it; after all, I'm the cutest and the best student ever had, aren't I?" You bat your eyelashes for the sake of sarcasm.

"Perhaps."

"...Eh?"

Too blunt, you feel your cheeks burning up.

You wonder if he's just playing along with your sarcasm because there is absolutely no way that's the case.

"I'm not playing around with your jokes. I'm simply laying out the possibility."

"There you go... Using your mind reading powers again..."

"It's not that hard to do if you have two eyes and a brain."

"I have a brain too... Not everyone can exactly know what a person is thinking just by looking at their face and expression."

"I doubt both of those statements."

"...Okay, rude."

"It's not about skills, actually; you're just an open book."

"Am I really??"

You hum, seeing him chop the strawberries more efficiently than you ever could. You know all well you'd cut it clumsily, then they'd end up looking like you've beaten them to mashes. You walk to the over to preheat it while he does his own thing. You gaze at the warm light.

"This cake is just for the two of us. I can't really share it with anyone else. If only I could, I would." You murmur your thoughts out loud, feeling close enough to him to tell him your issues occurring these days. You stand up to walk over next to him.

"...Why is that?"

"Everyone at the campus... Ignores me. I don't know why." You say, your expression showing one of disheartened, but you bothered to put up a smile. "I know, I know, I shouldn't be bothered with this minimalistic stuff." You chuckle.

"... Human life inevitably takes the form of a struggle against loneliness. We reach out to others in order to avoid sinking into complete isolation. However, although they might provide us with some degree of consolation and felt connection, our loneliness is something that can never be overcome. Therefore, you have the right to be bothered by it. Even if everyone on your campus notices you, you'll still end up feeling lonely."

"So... You're telling me my feelings don't matter even if I single myself out?"

"You have me, don't you?"

"Woah??"

"Don't go around putting random ideas in your head. It's just, if you ever feel like you're the only person existing in the universe, remember me." He placed down the knife to lightly pat your head.

"..." It was as if you remember something foul, you feel your smile fading for a bit. "You know, I wondered if people avoid because they think I'm annoying. Do you find me annoying too Dr Ratio?" You humor a question.

"I'd be lying if I said not entirely."

"And here I thought you were trying to comfort me." You laugh, taking the strawberries he chopped and mixed it with the other ingredients. You think carefully on what you're about to say next.

"There was this one guy named [____], he thinks I'm annoying but... We... 'Talked' everyday, but one day he just suddenly killed himself." You wonder if you were the reason, though it's too far fetched, you still felt guilty.

"...i see, but you shouldn't blame yourself. It's not your fault, he must've had his own problems." He says... For some reason, you felt like he sounded awfully guilty too.

"...You're right."

You glance back at your baking progress only to see that it's already prepared for the oven. "Oh... It seems like we were taking too much I didn't even realize."

"Focus. Place that in the oven for 40 minutes." He orders, you nod and follow obediently.

As that was done, you breathe out a sigh. "Where's your bathroom?" You ask.

"Go to that hallway, you'll find it eventually."

You didn't bother to ask more and marched straight into it.

Whilst walking, you find... His room, no, it might be an office knowing who he is.

Your curiosity lead to dumb decisions such as this one, so you open the door which was surprisingly open. The room felt fancy and professional, you felt like you were a dirt intruding inside a perfectly clean place.

The walls were decorated with a bunch of awards, eight doctoral degrees, outstanding achievements in the fields of biology, medicine, natural theology, philosophy, mathematics, physics, and engineering— ah, you felt dizzy.

"Uwah..." You felt jealous, though it must've been stressful and uneasy to achieve all this. You send a regard in your mind for him, hoping that he didn't stress all this too much.

You wonder why you were even next to him, how could you even stand next to someone such as him, it felt like something out of fantasy, only someone with the same level as him should he be talking to. You were a simpleton compared to him.

Being in character of a simpleton, a stupid, brainless simpleton, you dig more on his room, to that resulted of you seeing a notebook placed on a desk. "Looks important... Is this his diary or something?"

Despite saying that, you still flipped the notebook into a page, reading it...

[Name] [Last Name]

Home Planet: Cosmos

Gender: [______]

Species: Human

Height: [______]

Weight: [______]

Address: [______]

Social Security Number: [______]

Birthdate: [______]

Collage Campus: [______]

Degree: [______]

Average Grade: 57% —> 96%

Biological Parents:

Mother: [______] - Occupation: The IPC Strategic Investment Department

Father: [______] - Deceased

Huh? Isn't this your... Private information... Why... Is it in his handwriting...? Your hand reluctantly flips to the next page.

[Name] [Last Name]'s history with their mother isn't difficult to understand, they're not fond of their mother for the sole reason of abandonment and high expectations, their mother does not have the time to raise a child for she is busy working for the IPC. However, she holds high expectations for [Name] despite not teaching them and leaving them to fend for their own without help, naturally, [Name], without tools, [Name] learned nothing and struggled to understand the materials exposed to them. With no choice left, their mother found a teacher that will help them raise up to her expectations.

I do not understand why she chose me out of everyone, perhaps because of the same age we have, but unlike them, my standards were advanced, choosing me will only cause [Name] to struggle more, I feel bad, so I set my teachings to them to be more tame and easy to understand, but difficult enough for them to improve even slightly, but to my utter surprise, they followed along with it. Not to say that they didn't struggle, in fact, they struggled greatly, but despite that, they pursued the materials. Despite their many flaws, they strive for the betterment of themselves.

Struggles and insecurities, they suffer from anxiety and depression, for one, they struggle to be hygienic and procrastinate, they prefer to relax and wallow on their own self pity rather than choose to study, they have a rather low view of themselves and low confidence, dead honest about thinking that they're a hopeless idiot, however they cover the fact that they think of that by joking around and putting up a false confidence to everyone. They care about the well-being of other people more than themselves. On the other hand, they feel the fear from failure, evident by how their hand trembles whenever they feel like—

Enough. You felt cold sweat dripping on you face. That's... Too much, he isn't supposed to know all this. It's you personal thing. How did he even...

You don't why, you really don't know why you still haven't left the notebook alone and left the room, you don't know why you still flipped to the next page.

Spreading rumors about them weren't difficult, as it seems like all those people are easily swayed by simple words, however, through that action, [Name] regretfully became a target of bad intent. Through pros and cons, I conclude that it was worth it, the sight of [Name] relying on me is ever so priceless.

[____], a wretch, a classmate of [Name], bullying [Name] over his own insecurities, rather than taking it out on something else, he takes out his pent up stress on other people, [Name] being the victim. [Name] seems to have noticed this, so rather than telling people of fighting back, they endured it, telling nobody about it (even me). I have a speculation that they simply endured it with a naive thought of helping that ignorant wretch.

He appears to have a delicate ego and heart, as it turns out he was taking it out on [Name] simply because he admired me and thinking that it should be him that I should be teaching rather than [Name]. As said, he had a delicate ego and a delicate heart, so it wasn't difficult to shatter it into pieces. I admit, though immoral, I found his dismay satisfying, ignorant people like him deserved to jump off that building—

You head snapped to the door and you felt a chilling sensation on your spine.

No longer wearing his mask, his head leaned onto the doorframe.

You drop the note book on the floor, seeing as pictures of you that were stuck on that note book to fly and scatter on the ground.

"Had fun reading? Were even in terms of privacy, did I ever tell you that you can meddle with my notes?" He questioned, his face showed no emotion.

"...Why��� Why would y-you—?" You felt tears invade your vision, you heart being constricted.

"I take it were gonna have a long conversation later? No, actually..." He says, getting closer to you, you instinctively take the same steps back.

He gets closer and closer until your back is facing the wall, he placed a hand to obscure your vision. Perhaps the reason he covers his face around you, is because he's just as an open book as you when he's around you, he can't have you seeing his overly infatuated expression, even after he was trying so hard to hide it.

"Let's settle this short, right here, right now, I'll tell you everything. We have 25 minutes left, can't have the cake burning in the oven for too long can we?"

a/n: fun fact! just in case you missed it, at the first part of this short story, dr ratio subconsciously turned his head away from you because he was flustered by your gratefulness for him, sorry if it sounded like a vent at some parts, idk what occurred to me 💀, maybe it's because dr ratio is ironically my comfort character, i hate people like him irl but...

[intheholler]

re: hurricane helene hey, y'all. so... immense survivor's guilt, subsequent depression and an overall helpless malaise has made my presence on tumblr here weaker during this horrific time. but there's nothing like some good ol appalachian rage to light a fire under the proverbial ass so i'm back to push back on some of the bullshit i keep seeing get spread about what's happening in the aftermath of hurricane helene, and in western north carolina especially. 

appalachia has always been low hanging fruit for the rest of the nation, and now that disaster has struck and we are even more vulnerable than we have been in a long, long time, bad actors are using us as a way to further their political bullshit and conspiracies.

please use some of the cited-information below the cut to push back on and educate any family members, friends or otherwise when you see them spreading misinformation. now is your chance to help appalachia, no matter where you are in the united states. myths, rumors and other flavors of horseshit regarding hurricane helene debunked under the cut. please reblog.

Let me just get my heart out of the way before we get into the nitty gritty, cause I got things to say. #1: "Why should we help these people? They get these storms there all the time. They didn't move away or do anything to prepare for this, and now it's our responsibility?"

These storms are not at all commonplace. For much of this area, especially WNC, this level of flooding and damage--spanning an area the size of Belgium between NC and TN--is largely unprecedented. Growing up, we get told our mountains protect us, that they shield us from the really bad, and that's because historically, they have. Hurricanes blow through, and they bring with them hella wind and rain, but nothing like this.

We do not have the infrastructure for this, physical or otherwise. So many of our homes, businesses and everything in between have been standing for more than a century, unkept and brittle. Dams are breaking or near breaking because they are not meant to hold this kind of water. Our roads tend to follow creeks and rivers and thereby have been completely washed out. Keep in mind that in the individual hollers, and in most of these small mountain towns, we only got one road. You go up holler one way, and you don't come out the other side of it; you leave the way you came because it's the only path to take.

We are not built for this. We were not ready for this. We could not have prepared for this. And even if by some miracle we all received some premonition about this disaster, telling us to "just move" is NEVER the answer to vulnerable people living in volatile environments, especially ones as impoverished as Appalachia. Fuck you.

#2 "Appalachians are lazy and just want handouts, anyway."

First off--which one is it? Are we poor, pitiful fodder for concern trolls who deserve more than we're getting, or are we lazy, needy, greedy people who deserve to rot? Can't have both.

Second off--we been hearing that about us since the dawn of time. Wasn't true then, ain't true now.

Appalachia has been verifiably exploited as long as there have been people to exploit, but that is a topic long since discussed here.

We don't WANT anything. We NEED it. Alongside the aid coming in through donations, official search and rescue and organized volunteer services, much of the boots on the ground are Appalachians themselves!! We take care of our own, and it's always been that way.

They got people on foot hiking up into the hollers to bring supplies to cut-off communities. They got pack mules passing otherwise impassable roads where no car nor other vehicle can tread to get lifesaving necessities to the hollers. Look around, and you'll find countless stories. Just in my personal circle alone, I got a sister bringing supplies up by foot, and her hiking group is moving through so much toxic mud that the soles of their fucking boots are melting. I got a brother in law taking chainsaws to downed trees to clear the path for supply deliveries. I got another sister meeting friends of mine at the state line to collect donations and distribute them by hand to counties all over WNC. We can do this, but we can't do it alone.

#3 "It's a conspiracy/It's not that widespread outside of Asheville because we don't see pictures of anywhere else."

It's happening. It's fucking happening.

You don't see pictures because many of us don't have reliable cell service right now, let alone wifi. Hell, even in perfect weather there's a joke that you better have a friend with a cell phone from each provider when you go out because only one of you is getting service at any given time in any given place. There is no way to document this from the inside for many folks at this point in time, and there is NO WAY IN from the outside.

As I mentioned--you got one road leading up the holler. That road is now gone. No one is making it up the mountain to take pictures of these horrific scenes, y'all. If they're going up the mountain its to care for their neighbors, to bring supplies to individuals and entire communities so isolated by the devastation that the only way they can be reached is on foot (or hoof!).

Which also brings me to my next counterargument: "Nothing is being done to help."

#4 "Volunteers are being turned away/Donations are being confiscated."

Volunteers are being DISCOURAGED from coming in out of state, but they're not being told to leave with a malicious intent. And they are not even being forcibly denied. They can still come, but it's really not a good idea. As I mentioned, these roads wasn't meant to take this kind of damage. They are falling apart, and all this extra traffic coming in on these streets barely hanging on is making them worse and making it harder for organized relief and rescue operations to actually get in there. People are getting stuck and taking away time and resources that could be going to survivors. Outsiders with good intentions are eating up the scarce gas and using up even scarcer water. Some of these places, like Black Mountain, physically do not have enough hands to manage and distribute the amount of donations being brought in in, so they're getting rerouted. Donations are not fucking being confiscated.

#5 "They aren't letting people be rescued/They're closing the airspace off."

The airspace is OPEN, with some temporary restrictions in place by the FAA for civilians and volunteers. Civilians can still access airspace in coordination with officials and emergency responders. What they ain't allowing is people just flying in willy nilly. What they ain't letting in is unauthorized air traffic that is clogging up airspace which otherwise needs to be used by official aircraft to bring in donations/S&R groups. Airspace is still accessible in the area, but it's not safe to just have everyone with a big heart trying to search and rescue, especially with no training, organization or proper skills. What they ain't letting happen is people trying to take trucks up obliterated roads that can't be traveled, no matter how confident you are in your vehicle. Christ, y'all. The point isn't to add more bodies to the count!

#6 "National Guardsmen are being told not to go."

The National Guard HAS been deployed.

And in numbers, too. What you're hearing is rumor of people asking to be deployed and being told no, because that's not how it works. That's not how any of this works. People can't just rush in unorganized. There is a system. There has always been a system.

#7 "But I saw TikToks of people coming to help and locals shouting them out of town!"

Oh, honey. No, what you saw was people doing what they LOVE to do in Appalachia: take poverty tours. Record how we live. Post their poverty (and now disaster) porn with thoughts and prayers and oh those poor creatures to get likes. That's been happening to us since before TikTok. Before the internet.

During FDR's administration, photographers from the Farm Security Administration went down to collect poverty porn and turn it into Hollow Folk, a collection of photographs which was then used by eugenicists and corporations alike to dehumanize us further so we could be exploited and relocated with the favor of the nation behind them.

We're done with it. We been done with it. And now, in this time of crisis where people are DEAD, you're clogging up our roads, taking up our gas, AND shoving cameras in our face. Y'all ain't from here and now more than ever y'all kinds need to get the FUCK out.

✨ FEMA ✨

FEMA deserves its own section, because holy shit. I'm mad that I'm about to defend the man in any capacity but it needs to be done. So, I'm gonna preface this by saying, largely, fuck FEMA. There are many valid complaints against FEMA and their inefficiency, but right now is not the time to use them as a tool of misinformation against Appalachia. We got enough problems without pouring the salt of government conspiracies into these raw, gaping wounds that barely even have bandaids applied to them right now.

SO. Let's get into it.

#8 "This is all planned and by design/Don't evacuate, because FEMA is just gonna take your land and mineral rights!"

If they wanted the fucking lithium or anything else for that matter, they would just enact Eminent Domain. They don't need elaborate schemes and """weather control""" to take it. They can just literally... do it. Did we all fail civics in middle school?

(And this is purely anecdotal so I have no proof of this, but a friend of mine told me a few days ago people were actually being told NOT to evacuate in Lake Lure because they didn't anticipate the flooding to be this bad.)

What y'all SHOULD be worried about are these companies and their "disaster investors" who swoop in like fucking vultures and try to get people to sell their land before FEMA has a chance to assist them. These companies prey on the vulnerable, offering them quick cash for their land and for far less than they'd get if they held out for FEMA's relief instead.

#9. "But... but FEMA is only giving out a piddly $750 in relief!"

Yes, they are giving out $750. INITIALLY. This $750 is initial relief money for immediate needs. Medicine, food, supplies. It is NOT all that's being allocated to folks. From FEMA's website:

This is a type of assistance that you may be approved for soon after you apply, called Serious Needs Assistance. It is an upfront, flexible payment to help cover essential items like food, water, baby formula, breastfeeding supplies, medication and other emergency supplies. There are other forms of assistance that you may qualify for to receive and Serious Needs Assistance is an initial payment you may receive while FEMA assesses your eligibility for additional funds. As your application continues to be reviewed, you may still receive additional forms of assistance for other needs such as support for temporary housing, personal property and home repair costs.

A service being offered in the meantime, for example, is for temporary housing and you can still currently apply for it!

Long-term disaster relief funds are not being released immediately. That does not mean they do not exist.

Here is what FEMA has already allocated for North Carolina alone.

Please note I said "allocated" but not "paid out." Which brings me to my next point.

#10 "FEMA is giving their relief money to undocumented immigrants!"

This is false, and you can verify this for yourself. Cash payouts to undocumented immigrants isn't even a thing, dude. They haven't even paid out to citizens in their entirety yet. From the FEMA page "Questions and Answers for Undocumented Immigrants Regarding FEMA Assistance:"

This is in regards to STATE, LOCAL AND VOLUNTEER AGENCIES. Not through FEMA or any other federal programs. This is probably what people are hearing about, and not even bothering to look into it before running off to tell lies.

And in this, as you can see--undocumented immigrants who CAN receive assistance are not receiving cash. They are not just getting money handed over to them to spend on whatever your racist, xenophobic uncle thinks they are. FEMA is required by law to report on the use of their funds each month by the 5th day. Historically, it looks like it takes about a week for them to be posted. Keep an eye on this page to see for yourself in coming days that FEMA is not giving out money from their funds to immigrants.

#11 "But FEMA has appointees from Biden!!! How can we trust that this is the truth?!"

Please use critical thinking skills. Please, we beg. Yes, there are appointed FEMA officials from this administration, but there are also appointed officials from Trump's time in office. What sense does it make that during Trump's administration, FEMA employees were Good And Pure, and suddenly, just because they are active under Biden's administration, they are suddenly Evil And Corrupt? This is clear bias and has no solid footing.

Besides, the President doesn't even have any sway over FEMA funding like this. That is ALL congress.

H.R. 9747 "Continuing Appropriations and Extensions Act, 2025," which provides relief funding (among other things) for the 2025 fiscal year, was ACTIVELY VOTED AGAINST by Republicans, including Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene--two people spreading the bullshit the loudest. UGH. Okay. In exasperated conclusion: Please, please, PLEASE leave Appalachia alone and let us get back on our feet without having to constantly dodge dumbass conspiracy theories. We are heartbroken and grieving and would really appreciate a brief reprieve from being the nation's fucking punching bag. Help us, don't hurt us.

[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

So Dean is fucked up after Cas is taken into the Empty obviously, all melancholy, no sleep, drinking too much, you know his gist. Sam probably tries to get him to talk about it, but he would never tell him everything Cas said, you know. So Dean is miserable, and Sam is miserable, but THEY DON'T STOP trying to get Cas back.

And they do, somehow. So Cas appears somewhere in the library or wherever they were Doing What Brought Him Back and there's a second of confused, vulnerable silence because this can't be real don't believe it's real he's gonna disappear and it's gonna suck all over again but he stays, and looks at Dean, and then Dean is hugging him, clutching him like... well, like everything that happened, happened, and they're breathing each other in. Cas hasn't had the chance to think about what it all means, yet, so he's not overthinking it. Then they break apart, and Dean has tears in his eyes and his lower lip is shaking, and while Sam hugs Cas, too, Dean's body is like, shutting down, months of exhaustion (physical and emotional) catching up to him, and he feels it coming, so when Sam gets Cas to sit down, making him drink some water, Dean's like "I'm just gonna-" and he's running into his room and he doesn't even make it inside before he starts sobbing. He's sitting against his bed, his face in his hands, all wet now, when Sam comes in. Maybe he knocked, maybe not, Dean couldn't hear him. And he tries to cover himself a little, but Sam sees anyway, and he's so tired, so he just. Doesn't care.

And Sam says, "Dean, don't hide from him" and Dean isn't sobbing anymore but he's still crying into his palms, saying "I'm so tired, Sammy" and Sam knows. He doesn't know what happened between Dean and Cas but Cas said he did something and now Dean wouldn't feel comfortable around him. So, you know. Sam can guess, a little.

So he says, "He thinks you don't want anything to do with him anymore" and "you should go talk to him" and Dean is like "I can't" and he doesn't know why, maybe because he's exhausted, or because he doesn't know what to say to him , or because Cas sacrifised himself for him again, or because he told him he loved him and turned Dean's world upside down and disappeared, or maybe because he's scared.

And Sam knows this is all happening in Dean's head and he knows some of it is whispered to him in their dad's voice, so he says, "you know nothing in the world would ever change how I think of you," and Dean's head snaps towards him, wet with bloodshot eyes, confused and terrified, but he doesn't say anything, so Sam asks, "what really happened down there?" and Dean knows Sam knows. There's a hand squeezing his heart and lungs and he can't breathe, and Sam knows, and Dean wishes he could go back to when it wasn't even an option.

"He's your best friend," Sam says, and he is, he is, he's Dean's best friend, above all else, it's not just sacrifises and battles and blood and desperate confessions, it's also movies and music and inside jokes, so Dean asks Sam to get Cas. He does, and leaves them in Dean's room alone. And Dean says "don't ever die for me again" and "you think you saved me but i was barely alive" and "next time we die together" which is maybe a little fucked up, but he's feeling so raw. He says, "you're my best friend" and looks at Cas, hoping Cas hears everything he isn't saying, how Cas is the most important person in all the universes to Dean. He's family, but he doesn't say that, doesn't want Cas to think he's family like anyone else, because Cas is more. To Dean, Cas is- something Dean won't say yet, but he is.

And they have a quiet dinner with Sam because they're all tired, and Cas showers while they turn on the TV and bring out a couple of beers, and they act like it's a normal day in their life. Dean's head keeps falling and his eyes keep closing, his temples aching, but he stays, and at some point Sam goes to sleep, and when they're alone Cas tries to get Dean to go, too, but he keeps coming up with lame excuses to stay and Cas doesn't know what to make of it until he thinks maybe Dean doesn't want to be alone, or even - maybe Dean doesn't want to leave Cas alone, maybe he's scared something will happen to him again, or maybe he wants to just - be with Cas longer. And Cas is completely out of his element, because why would Dean- But it doesn't matter. His priority has always been Dean's well-being, so if there's any chance Dean is pushing himself because of - some of that, Cas will step up.

So he asks Dean if he can sleep in Dean's room tonight because he doesn't want to be alone. And there's a blaring red light going off in Dean head, screaming he knows he knows he knows Dean wants him to... what? Dean doesn't even know. Cas is asking as if for himself, for Dean's benefit, and Dean. God. Dean loves him, doesn't he? He's always loved him, but he loves him like... like... but he doesn't think it, still. He feels too open, now, and he wants to lock himself in his room and sleep it off and drink and stop feeling so vulnerable, he thinks he must be an open book to everyone, to Cas especially, and god, could people always tell? Can Cas tell, now? But why does it matter? Cas told him- he told him-

But none of it matters, because Cas is here, and he's offereing Dean an easy way out, and Dean is a weak, weak man, and he's exhausted and all he wants is to breathe Cas' air and know he's here, and not going anywhere.

So Dean puts on an old T-shirt and gets out of his jeans like he always does before realizing Cas is here. He flushes all over, sits down on his bed because he didn't think about how this was gonna go. Cas glances at the desk as if he was gonna sit in his chair the whole night, and Dean doesn't actually know if Cas sleeps now or doesn't, which he maybe should've thought of before, but before he can say anything, Cas says, "Dean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable" and Dean, completely lost, says the first thing that comes to his mind, which is, "can you lie down with me?" which is not exactly how he was gonna tell Cas he's the opposite of uncomfortable with him, but it does the trick. He makes Cas get out of his dress pants and gives him a T-shirt to sleep in, too, and flushes even more when he realizes what Cas is wearing. Dean lies down when Cas steps towards the bed, faces the wall because he doesn't know what to do with himself. They lie in silence for an awkward moment before Cas says, "are we okay?" and Dean says, "of course we are" and Dean knows Cas is still overthinking it, and he is, too, but... Cas took the leap, and he must feel so uncertain about them, and Dean thinks he owes him something, at least. Cas told him he loved him. Nothing felt right since then, because Cas died and because Cas thought he could never have what he wanted and because Cas thought he wasn't the most important person in Dean's life with Sammy, whatever that meant, and because Dean had to come to terms with that reality, a reality where Cas loves him, has loved him, him, Dean, broken and all. A man. A man Cas thought beautiful, and loving, and- and Dean has many issues, but Cas was never one of them, and Cas deserves to feel certain about his place in Dean's life.

So Dean asks Cas to come closer, and there's a still moment before Cas does, still too far away from Dean, and Dean can't see him, can't make himself turn because his heart is beating so loud he thinks if he looks at Cas, it's gonna beat out of his chest. So he reaches behind himself, finds Cas' hand and brings it forward, keeps it between his hands and brings them to his face. Breathes Cas in. "Please don't leave again" he says, in that tone he used when he prayed to Cas. He feels Cas shift, finally, as if he lost some of the tension from his body, feels the bed dip behind him, and he doesn't know how Cas moves but then Dean's back is pressed against Cas' front, and despite his beating heart, Dean is feeling the exhaustion start to take him. "Cas, I..." he tries, but he can't think anymore, can't make sense of anything.

"You can fall asleep, Dean," Cas says, his words warm in Dean's hair and the last thing he hears before sleep takes him is "I will be here when you wake up."

So when Dean wakes up, it's to a heavy arm around his chest and slow breaths against the back of his head. There's no moment of confusion about who he's with, or why. He doesn't even get a second to consider if it was real before Cas says "good morning, Dean" and Dean wonders if Cas slept at all. If he needs to sleep, now. There's so much they need to talk about, all three of them.

"Cas," he tries again, remembereing his attempt from last night. He needs Cas to know, for sure. "Cas, I - what you said. You know I. I've never..." and Cas is like "I know, Dean" but he sounds a little confused, so Dean doensn't know what Cas thinks he knows. So he turns, takes a second to notice how close they are now, and he thinks about Cas' eyes, his lips. Thinks, soon.

"You have to know," he says, as if Cas didn't say anything. "You have to know how I - what I" and he can't get the words out, not sure if it would be easier if there were no words to get out or if there were no voices in his head screaming over them. So he breathes in, Cas' scent overtaking his senses, brings his palm to Cas' face. Closes his eyes. Thinks, soon. Thinks, now, and meets Cas halfway.

[genderqueerdykes]

trying to convince trans men that they should be more comfortable with “woman terms” i.e. lesbian, dyke, etc. is TERF rhetoric. lesbianism does not include men - i'm sorry to say this includes trans men. we've been trying to fight this for YEARS, because rhetoric like this puts lesbians in danger. please fucking stop. this is terrifying for actual lesbians.

you are a few wrong turns away from straight up saying we HAVE to let men in our spaces. and a few more wrong turns away from advocating for corrective rape (by the way! the person who coined the term “transandrophobia” has a fetish for corrective rape against lesbians and trans women).

please actually think before you spread things because this is dangerous rhetoric. like you are asking to get actual lesbians killed if the wrong men follow this rhetoric

hello, actual lesbian that you mentioned here. i'm a 32 year old butch dyke who has been a butch dyke since i was a kid. i've been a part of the lesbian community my entire life because when i came out as a trans man, the only place for me to go was to queer "womens" spaces. also you just straight up lied about the coiner of the term transandrophobia. it was not genuine assault, it was consensual indulgence in a kink. kink is not inherently REAL assault. stop making shit up to make transmascs and trans men sound worse. you're doing this on purpose.

YOU are the problem. no, i will never shut up or stop talking about this because you are the problem and you are the one causing people to get hurt because you are insisting that women cant EVER hurt each other when that's not true. you're creating an echochamber for radfems to brainwash vulnerable women into thinking that women can never hurt them so that radfems can control the way you think, act and feel. you have been absolutely brainwashed by terfs.

you are a few wrong turns away from straight up saying we HAVE to let men in our spaces.

they're right turns because we DO!

some lesbians are or are currently but may not be men in the future. you're scaring the ever loving hell out of trans women who haven't come out yet, but think they might be trans lesbians. you are leaving out and scaring the shit out of transfem lesbians who cant pass or visibly be out. youre potentially kicking out transfem eggs because they "look too scary" or 'look like men'. you're guilting trans women who used to be men and making them feel like evil monsters for something they had no control over. you're making trans women who are also men feel like garbage.

some lesbians are genderfluid, or bigender, or nonbinary. you're failing to accept genderfluid lesbians. you're failing to accept TWO-SPIRIT lesbians who are also men. not only is this transphobic but it's now racist because you're denying people with a cultural identity from being lesbians. there are genderqueer lesbians. there are butches who are men. if you think butches who are men deserve to be kitched out, you're a butchphobe and i don't want to ever hear another thing about lesbian rights out of your mouth because this isn't about lesbian rights, you don't give two singular fucks about real lesbians, all you care about is pushing your radfem agenda.

also this one is massively important because it shows that you just don't care for individual lesbians at all. some lesbians are fucking scared shitless when they first join queer spaces and need to bring support. you do realize lesbians have male family members and friends, you realize this, right? queer spaces are also open to the allies in the queer person's family. you're completely leaving out allies who want to learn more about lesbianism. you're making it next to impossible to teach other people about lesbianism because you think you're so special that the entirety of manhood is out to get you. have you ever been to an IRL queer space for more than a few moments? you have to realize that they allow cishet family members and friends to come. and people who are questioning and curious. that "man" you're seeing at the lesbian meetup could be a questioning transfem, and it looks like you just shot yourself in the fucking foot.

this is going to hurt literally no one and in fact it will stop other queer people from getting hurt because you are the one excluding real lesbians from the community and harming real people, including women. i can't trust someone who thinks like this to not misgender trans women and transfems when it's convenient. some trans women used to be men. some trans women still are men. some cis women are men. some are multigender, genderfluid... you would kick out a woman who's also a man?

whether or not you realize it, this mentality is hurting women because you're teaching each other youre too stupid, weak and incompentent to stand up to men. do you genuinely think other women are so goddamn stupid and weak that they can't defend themselves against men? that they aren't smart enough to avoid dangerous advances? that they aren't capable of shutting down dangerous atmospheres and behaviors? that they're incapable of causing physical harm or defending themselves.

you are not so special that the entirety of manhood is out to get you. yes men can be dangerous to be around, but not all men around you are fiending to rape and assault you. you have to get past that line of thinking because it's making you dangerous, and isolating you from society because all you can do is wallow in paranoid thinking and blame men for your problems that you refuse to tackle on your own. you can't blame men for you REFUSING to move past your trauma. pathologically avoiding a gender doesn't work. it is your fault you are so scared at this point. keeping yourself scared makes you vulnerable. men are not waiting in every single bush waiting to jump you, you have to move past this line of thinking.

none of what you said is even remotely true. you really have to step outside of your radfem echo chamber and speak to real lesbians. lesbians are and have always been more diverse than just being cis women loving cis women. and no, i don't believe you when you say you include trans women because i have a sneaking suspicion that trans women who don't pass hard enough don't count as women with this line of thinking. i do not trust you to not misgender trans women when it is convenient for you to push your agenda about how men and "certain people" are evil.

there have been men in the lesbian community since the start and we're not going to go away just because you're scared of people who will not and have not hurt you. you think you have the world figured out but you're wallowing in pity and blaming your trauma on people who haven't hurt you. you are so entrenched in your suffering and misery that you think that you have to. you are so entitled that you think the entire lesbian community should warp itself to what you want, but you even are you? why should we listen to you? do you care about anyone but your goddamn self? i don't know if you do. you sound very entitled and selfish. you sound like you believe the lesbian community owes you something. it doesn't. you owe masc and male lesbians respect.

i hope some day you learn how to be kinder to yourself and the people around you some day. having such a negative view of strangers is what's getting you hurt, because you're laser focused on the men who can hurt you, you fail to see that women can and have been abusing you your entire life. women are capable of abuse. women are capable of raping and killing each other. you are not inherently safe just because you want to be around women

this is such a sad way to see life. womanhood does not mean living in fear of men. if you genuinely think that womanhood is nothing but suffering. open your heart and understand that manhood isn't what hurt you. it's specific people. blaming the gender of "man" instead of individual people takes the accountability away from the individual. you are refusing to hold people accountable. you are the problem. you are the reason why men continue to think it's okay to do these things, because you are reinforcing the behavior from yet another side. wake up. you're the one making things dangerous for real lesbians. you sound much more like a lesbian separatist, political lesbian, and a radfeminist than you do a ""real"" lesbian.

i've been a butch dyke for 32 years. let real lesbians talk. we don't want to hear your radfem bullshit anymore. transmascs, trans men, ftms, and male lesbians belong. i don't care about you being scared about the "WRONG" kind of men. stop profiling men. you're doing the exact same shit misogynists are doing to you. it doesn't solve the problem. it just makes you a miserable asshole who supports bullying and abusing trans people, butches, and those "Real" lesbians you were talking about. you can't invalidate my dykehood, cuz i don't even who know tf you are. i'm a real dyke, and you can absolutely stay scorched about it. you need a lot of healing to do if me being a transmasc butch dyke is hurting you somehow. you can't let other people's identities get to you like that.

[svnnw]

WHEN YOU SMILE — chapter 45

45 ) when you smile

there was no way mark would be here, right? before you could even text him back someone knocked on your door. you had hoped that it would be one of your friends that gave you a surprise visit but the chances were very low. should i just hide in my room untill he leaves? wait he knows that i'm here FUCK. the person outside the door knocked again only for you to realize that you've been waiting for way too long so you quickly pushed your thoughts away and went to the door. you slowly opened the door seeing the person you tried to avoid for the whole day. right in front of you stood mark. you took your time to admire him and noticed that he wore the same outfit a few hours ago, his hair was slightly messy and you could see a faint blush on his cheeks while he did the complete opposite and tried to avert his eyes away from you to avoid eye contact at all cost. you tried your best stay away from him but you knew that the moment he sent you that message you couldn't escape anymore.

"you know you can come in right?" you moved aside so he can enter your apartment. he was in complete awe as he walked inside. the first thing he took notice of was a small picture frame on your wall with you and your friends. being so captured by your warm home he slowly forgot the reason why he even came all the way.

"so you're here because..?" you hesitantly asked having a glimpse of hope that he had already forgotten of the whole rumor going on.

"y/n, tell me everything" out of all the things you thought he would say he came straight to the point.

"what are you talking about?" you knew exactly what he was talking about but you can always hope for a miracle to happen.

"you know exactly what i'm talking about. tell me everything about that stupid rumor. it's not true right? just please talk to me and don't go away" he really got you tearing up now. you've never had a person care this much for you. a person who is desperate for you to talk to them just so there won't be any misunderstandings. mark took notice of your eyes tearing up and he immediately cupped your face not daring to let go.

you took his hand away and intertwined it with yours while you took him away from the living room. the silence was enough for him to understand that you would start sobbing if you even uttered a word out so he just let you lead him to your room. the thirty seconds of silence felt forever but mark didn't mind it the only thing he cared about right now is you being okay.

the both of you sat down on your bed and mark stayed silent waiting for you to start talking.

"did you believe anything they said about me?" you said while looking at your lap hoping for every other answer than 'yes'.

"you know how much i trust you and that i would never believe them" you heard his voice crack and it took you everything to not start crying right in front of him.

"i'm sorry" was the only thing you could say before you felt a tear drop on your hands. mark knew you were in a vulnerable state right now so he carefully pulled you in his arms trying his best to not overwhelm you with all your emotions as he stroke your hair.

it felt embarrassing to cry without even telling him why but mark was a very understanding person and it broke his heart to see you getting hurt from people you had no contact with.

"you don't have to apologize for anything. you know how much i love you and how much trust i have for you. even if we got to know each other because of a deal we made i'm glad it was you. i know good people exist because you're one of them. i want you to only experience happy things in life and forget the sad memories. i love you y/n. not as your fake boyfriend but as me, mark."

his hand that was on top of yours started trembling and you knew he was waiting for you to reciprocate his confession. without hesitation you pulled him into a kiss. he didn't waste a second and kissed you back finally feeling your lips after dreaming about this for weeks. you only stopped kissing him for air and when you did that it made him giggle on how you chased after his lips. after your little make out session mark broke the kiss and cupped your cheeks forcing you to make eye contact with him.

"are you going to tell me when you fell in love with me?" you suddenly had to ask.

"when we played 7 minutes in heaven" mark replied.

"tell me more about it, when do you think i am the prettiest??" you eagerly asked.

"when you smile."

even after you tried to stay away from him today he took his time and went to your apartment not only to clear things up but also because he cared about you more than you could ever know. he was your true love.

masterlist – previous – next

a/n – OMGG GUYS WHAT ARE WE THINKING RN??? i had so much fun doing this smau and i will seriously miss it SO MUCH i could literally sob rn 😞😞 marky/n were such cuties and i will miss them so so much BUT luckily i will write about five bonus chapters for you guys in the next few days so we still have some moments with them NOW AS A COUPLE!!

wordcount – 0.9k

TAGLIST — open @marvelahsobx @foxy-kitsune @sunflowerbebe07 @jenmongiii @haechansbbg @defzcl @buns-inhiding @minkyuncutie @gukuwii @bugcattie @jaeims @222brainrot @axo-l0tl @pnkified @yyangj3lly @haesluvr @choerubies @m1ng1swife @odxrilove @jising-jisang-jisung @junviadinho @mjnhoz @p4tyaraujo @sunghoonsgfreal @slayhaechan @meloncremesoda @nanaxwi @sehunniepot @wouldyoulikesomefrieswiththat @multifandomania @morkiee @loonathic @softpia @nctrawberries @tommina @nosungluv @tynlvr @miniature-tragedy @alethea-moon @starfilledgaze @polarisjisung @miyawwn @kittydollzz @bitchzitschimi @syzavxy @jeongintwt @vantxx95 @onlyhyunjin @rllymark @markeroolee

[themultifanshipper]

Really, even though you were friends, the last thing Logan should be asking the Williams HR representative about, in her office, is sex.

Warnings: oral, petnames, lots of petnames

Based on true events that happened to me last week. Only difference is it was in my appartment, and I didn't actually come.

Do I use too much italics? Probably. Do I care? Not one iota.

So yeah, this was probably breaching several clauses in both your contracts.

But Logan came into your office, looking a bit sheepish, and sat down on the grey sofa in the corner without a word. You just stared at him, waiting for him to say something, but he just avoided your gaze.

"What can I do for you Logan?"

He didn't answer, just squinting at the floor, contemplative.

He came into your office quite often. Probably more than was strictly appropriate but after all, you used to be on the media team and had become friends with most of the drivers during your years at williams. Usually Logan and Alex (and occasionally others who "happened to be passing by") would come in for a chat, generally cheerful or angry or sad, depending on the kind of day they were having.

Today however, Logan was fully silent.

"Logan?"

He squinted again, this time at you, trying to figure out how to say what was on his mind.

"Lo, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong"

He took a deep breath before responding.

"So you know I'm a virgin, right?"

You, in fact, did not know that. You didn't think you were that close a friend, although you didn't exactly mind. It was just a bit sudden.

"What?!"

"Well technically I had sex once but it went really badly. And I haven't had any practice since, because I'm scared of picking up girls because I don't know what I'm doing and I'm an F1 driver so I'm supposed to be having loads of sex but imagine I'm really bad and it got out, it would be super embarrassing and I'd have to ask you, my friend, for an NDA about bad sex, which is just another level of weird and I'd hate for you to stop tal-"

"Logan!"

He stopped ranting and looked at you, obviously feeling rather vulnerable.

"Logan... have you just come into my office to tell me you're inexperienced at sex?"

He pursed his lips and frowned.

"Yes"

"Okay.... why?"

"Because I want you to teach me how to pleasure a woman"

He looked you straight in the eyes, with way too much confidence for someone who was suddenly eligible for a lawsuit.

You raised your eyebrows at him. "Logan, couldn't have waited until... oh I don't know, until we weren't in our workplace to ask me for sex?"

"Um... I guess?" He had the audacity to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry if I read this wrong. Do you uhh- not want to?"

You studied him for a second. What the fuck. It wasn't that the idea was unappealing, he was an attractive young driver with probably incredible stamina. Which is why you found the idea of him being inexperienced so odd. And why was he asking you for... guidance? A lesson? It was weird to think of him as anything other than your friend slash coworker Logan, who you had now known for nearly two years.

If someone had told you this morning that this is how your day was going to go, you would have told them to fuck off and gone back to sleep. You realised you must be taking too long to respond when Logan sighed and rubbed his face.

"Okay nevermind, I'm sorry I brought it up, we can just- pretend this conversation never happened"

He sounded almost sad as he got up to leave but stopped as you blurted out "No, wait!"

He stared at you questioningly.

"I'll do it" You sounded breathless "I'll teach you- how to do uhh... sex. With me."

His eyes lit up as he laughed "I hope you'll be more articulate than that "

"Oh fuck off" you hit his shoulder in retaliation "You're the one who looked like you were going to shit a brick when you walked in here!"

"Hey! That's a low blow" He pouted.

The atmosphere became more comfortable with the bickering but there was still an undercurrent of nervousness. He took a couple of steps towards you and leaned in but you stopped him with a hand on his unsurprisingly firm chest.

"You want to do this now?" You hissed "Are you fucking mental?"

He pouted again "why not, the bosses aren't here today, it's just us, and the engineers are working on the cars" He wiggled his eyebrows.

Well when you put it that way....

Fuck's sake.

You leaned in slowly, as if aiming for his mouth before swerving at the last second and pecked him on the cheek before whispering in his ear. "Lock the door for me will you, darling?"

His eyes darkened "Yes ma'am" and he turned away to lock the door.

You sat down on the sofa and spread your legs, beckoning him over and silently motioning for him to kneel between them. He did so and put his hands on your thighs, then looked up at you expectantly.

Oh, right. You were supposed to be teaching him.

"Okay so first you're gonna want to get me naked"

He giggled at your obvious statement before hooking his fingers into your waistband. "Sure thing, princess" Pulling them down and off, underwear soon following as he let out a breath, eyes and hands roaming over your newly exposed skin. "Shit, you're already so wet." He looked up at you again.

"Can I?" He asked.

So polite.

"Be my guest" you smiled at him as he lowered his body. He kissed the inside of your thighs, slowly inching towards where you needed him most. When he got there, you let out a strained half-sigh half-moan as he licked a stripe from your taint to your clit. The noise made him look up as he licked his lips, eye contact making you shiver. He then spread your thighs further and immediately buried his face between them like man starved, making a valiant effort to find your clit with his tongue.

"A bit lower- lower- a bit right. Wait no, your right"

He followed your instructions dilligently and when he found it, he sucked on your clit with fervour, which made you gasp and let out a shaky moan. "There, right there." as your right hand weaved itself into his hair.

Eyes on yours, he blinked up at you and you nodded to tell him he was doing a good job. Satisfied, he carried on, closing his eyes in concentration.

You grabbed one of his hands and started licking at his fingers, it startled him a bit and he looked back up at you, still surprisingly efficient with his mouth. The sight was absolutely sinful, blonde hair a mess, eyes blown wide, tongue out, working over your flesh. When you sucked one of his fingers into your mouth, straight down to the knuckle, he groaned, the vibrations making your hips twitch. You slid a second finger into your mouth, then a third, ensuring they were nice and wet, then pulled them out. "You can start putting them inside now".

He put the first one in, reaching so much deeper than you could manage on your own, all the while still lapping at your clit. You were so wet it didn't take long for a second one to join as he pushed them in and out gently.

"Okay now sort of hook them upwards" you showed him the movement with your own hand and he nodded, hooking his fingers and it felt so good you moaned quite loudly, hoping none of the engineers would be passing by your part of the building. He put a third finger in and the stretch was delicious as he pressed upwards again and flattened his tongue over your clit.

You could slowly feel an orgasm building and he felt you clench around his fingers, going slightly faster with both his hand and mouth.

"Oh god whatever you do, do not stop!" You panted above him as he used his other hand to hook a leg over his shoulder and he sat up a bit, changing your position slightly and making his fingers hit even deeper inside you.

"Fuck!" You clenched around his fingers as you came hard and he slowed down, helping you ride it out for a while before you had to physically push him off because he wanted to seemingly carry on forever.

"Geez Lo, give a girl a minute, yeah?" You laughed, a bit out of breath. You felt boneless as Logan started kissing his way up your body and finally sealed his mouth over yours. His face was sticky, and your hands went to his hair and pulled on it, making him groan into the kiss. You pulled his head back and he whined, his hips bucking against the sofa, searching for some relief. You lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Please" he panted. You glanced down.

"Need some help down there, soldier?"

He grinned, lopsided. "Sargeant, actually"

Oh yes, you were going to have some fun with this one.

[kimvante2013]

『𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬』 변우석

summary: The feelings between you and your best friend are far from over.

Genre: best friends to lovers,little bit of angst,Byeon Woo Seok x fem!reader,drabble

author notes: After months I came back, today I bring you a drabble about the love of my life, also because I saw "Lovely runner" and I liked it a lot so I got a little inspiration from there, well I hope you enjoy this and later I will bring more about Sun Jae and Woo seok since I don't see many people writing about them, take care and good night :)

Word count: 1089k

The soft ping of my phone broke the quiet hum of my apartment. A message from Woo-seok.

“Hey y/n, do you want to come to my house later? I need to write some lines for my new drama, “Lovely Runner”. You know, the usual, being my personal script coach and all that stuff.”

I smiled, imagining Woo-seok's signature goofy smile. It was almost endearing how he never seemed to take his acting career seriously, even though he was on the verge of becoming a major star. He was still the same goofy, clumsy boy he'd known in high school, the one who always made me laugh.

“Sure, I'll be there in an hour. "What time are you free?" I replied and let the tea sit while he prepared it for me.

An hour later, I found myself outside Woo-seok's elegant apartment building, the imposing structure a stark contrast to the cozy, modest apartment we used to share as roommates in college.

He greeted me with a wide, welcoming smile and a playful push, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the hallway. "You're late," he teased, pushing me inside.

"Traffic," I lied, my cheeks heating up under his gaze. Despite knowing him for years, my heart still pounded when he looked at me like that. He always had this way of making me feel seen, like I was the only person in the room.

His apartment was a testament to his success, modern and elegant, with a wide view of the city skyline. But I still felt at home, filled with the familiar warmth of his presence.

"Let's go to my room," he said, leading me to a well-lit space filled with scripts, props, and a comfortable chair.

"Okay, so this scene is where I first meet my love interest, played by the beautiful, talented, and incredibly charming Ryu Sun-jae," Woo-seok began, his voice dropping to a playful whisper.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was very dramatic, even when he talked about his own work. But his enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself immersed in the story. He ran through the lines, his voice shifting seamlessly between playful banter and sincere emotion.

He was good, really good. He poured his heart and soul into every word, into every gesture, making me forget that he was just watching a friend rehearse.

And this is where I'm supposed to make a grand entrance, you know, like a knight in shining armor. "But I think he's too exaggerated," he muttered, pulling a crumpled script from the table.

"No, I think he's perfect," I said, surprised by my own conviction. "He is your character, it is what makes him unique."

Woo-seok looked at me with a flash of surprise in his eyes. 'Actually? So you think?

"Yes," I nodded, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on me. There was an unspoken connection between us, a bond forged over years of shared laughter, dreams, and late-night chats.

'What do you think he should do here?' He asked, pointing to a particularly difficult line.

'Hmm, maybe try it with a little more vulnerability?' I suggested, my voice softening as I realized how closely I was studying his face.

He nodded, frowning in concentration. He walked the line again, this time with a raw emotion that resonated deeply within me.

"Wow," I sighed, genuinely impressed. 'That's perfect. You captured the uncertainty, the fear, the longing for acceptance. It is brilliant.'

Woo-seok's smile was brighter than the city lights outside. 'You're the best, Y/n. You always know how to make me feel better about my work.

We continued rehearsing until the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the room. As we worked, it felt like we were falling back into the comfortable rhythm of our old college days, time blurring into a cozy, shared memory.

"I think I'm a little hungry," Woo-seok said, breaking the silence. 'How about we order some food?'

"Sounds good to me," I agreed, feeling a warmth spread through me.

While we waited for our food, we sat on the floor and flipped through old photo albums. Laughter filled the room as we recalled silly moments from our past, each image a window into our shared history.

The delivery boy arrived, bringing with him the aroma of spicy noodles and sizzling dumplings. We ate in comfortable silence, enjoying the food and the company.

Later, while we were cleaning, Woo-seok turned to me and his eyes met mine. 'You know, Y/n, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You have always been there for me, through thick and thin.

I smiled, my heart swelled with warmth. 'Me too, Woo-seok. You are my best friend and I will always be there for you.

He reached out and took my hand, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. "I know," he said, his voice low and sincere. "And I'm grateful for that."

For a moment, we stood there, hands clasped and the silence filled with unexpressed emotions. The city outside glowed like a distant dream, but all he could see was Woo-seok, his eyes containing a depth that he knew he couldn't ignore forever.

“I should probably head home,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and his gaze stopped on my face. "Yeah, I guess you should."

I pulled away, my heart aching with a mix of longing and apprehension.

"I'll see you around, Woo-seok," I said, forcing a smile.

"Yes, definitely," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of disappointment.

When I left his apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us. The line between friendship and something more had blurred, and I wasn't sure I was ready to cross it.

I had always valued our friendship and the thought of risking it for something uncertain made me sick to my stomach. But the warmth of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, and the way he made me feel so seen had awakened a longing inside me that I couldn't ignore.

The lights of the city blur as I walked, my mind replaying the events of the night. I knew I needed time to process everything, to discover my feelings. But one thing was certain: the bond between Woo-seok and I was deeper than simple friendship, and I knew, with a certainty that made my heart ache, that our story was far from over.

[traumasurvivors]

I see a lot of conversations surrounding consent and wanted to talk about it a bit.

When most people think about consent, they think about sexual contexts.  In reality, consent is important in non-sexual situations, too.  You need consent before you borrow or touch someone else's stuff, get in their personal space, or show up at their home.

When it comes to consent, it should be a freely-given yes. This means it is not threatened, guilted, manipulated or coerced in anyway. And silence is not consent. This means that things like "maybe", "I'm not sure" or even flirting are not consent. Consent must be a freely-given yes, and not what you assume is a "yes."

Another thing to consider is whether the person is capable of consent. If someone is high or drunk, they cannot consent. Children can never consent to sexual acts. And consent must always be informed, as in the person knows what they are consenting to.

Consent should also be for the specific thing you're about to do. Someone consenting to kissing does not mean they consent to touching or so on. Someone being in a relationship does not mean they automatically consent to anything else. Consent should also be for this specific time. As in, if someone has consented before, then that doesn't mean they consent this time. A person's comfort level may vary, or they just might not be up to something and that's okay.

With that said, sometimes people have different standards of consent in their relationship. And that's okay. For example, a couple may decide that in their relationship, someone doesn't need a "yes" every single time but is free to proceed unless someone says no. They've mutually agreed that it's okay to assume the answer is "yes". For them, they've decided their consent is 'no means no' instead of 'yes means yes'. Another example in a platonic relationship is that some friends might decide that in their friendship, hugging without asking is totally okay.

One example is that I have people in my life that are allowed to hug me without asking unless I ask them not to. My partner went to hug me when I was upset the other day, and that's okay because he has been told he can do so unless I say "no" and in this case, I did say "no" because I was upset. And he respected it, and we moved on. I let him know when I was up to being hugged again.

However, when agreeing to different standards of consent in a relationship, the same rules apply. It should be a freely-given yes to the new standards, and the person should be capable of consenting. They should also be fully informed of what they are agreeing to.

One last thing I want to touch on is that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Even if you're right in the middle of something.

Consent can be incredibly complicated, and if you are ever not sure, ask. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure someone is okay with the situation.

It's especially important to be careful in how you navigate consent with children.  Modelling healthy consent in non-sexual contexts with children helps them understand that their bodies are their own and they have the right to feel safe and comfortable, too.  It protects them from predators as children, and sets them up to navigate consent in healthier ways as adults later in life.

Consent for hugs is frequently ignored with children.  Many children are forced to give or accept unwanted hugs from family members and told they're being rude or unfriendly if they don't cooperate.  This teaches them that their bodily autonomy doesn't matter, and makes them vulnerable to sexual predators.  By allowing children to set their own boundaries around what kinds of non-sexual physical touch they are comfortable with, when they want to receive that touch, and from whom, it helps them learn to recognize and enforce their own boundaries.  Those skills are incredibly valuable later in adulthood when they begin to navigate sexual consent both with their own bodies and with the bodies of their sexual partners.

[yelloowcars]

My roman empire is the fact that, from what we could see on the pilot, Lottie and Nat had a good relationship, like, I can tell they were good friends, or at least can see they stood up for eachother or agreed on most things.

I can totally imagine Lottie standing up for Nat everytime she heard something remotely close to what Tai insinuated she should be doing when she said "Don't you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck?". And then Lottie grabbing her arm about to call her out on it, but Shauna got ahead saying "Don't talk to her that way".

Then watching the slow freefall, when Lottie started to "act weird" because of the things she felt, heard, of saw in her visions. Still, at the beginning, they showed Nat still caring, talking to her or trying to sooth her in some way.

Afterwards, we know what happens and they grow apart, Nat constantly pushing Lottie aside on every attempt she had of caring for her (in Lottie's way of caring in the wilderness), but somehow on the bathtub scene it felt like they were finally getting along again, or at least standing on good terms. A silent white flag.

And Lottie cared about Nat, she never stopped caring about her, not when they were young, and definitely not when they were adults.

The adult version of them just makes me wonder how they handled things after the cabin burned down. Did the fact that Nat became the new antler queen change things on their relationship?

Why did Nat say "Friends? Is that what we are?"

Did something bad happen then? Or they grew closer and then after they were rescued and Lottie letf to the mental facility on Switzerland, something else got in between?

Like, it's clear she had to go through all of that alone. At least some of them kept in distant touch. But Lottie? As far as they knew, she was still on Switzerland completely out of her mind.

I don't know, it just makes me wonder so many things.

Also the fact that both of them as adults saw eachother's youngerselves in their most vulnerable moments, speaks to me. Like, why them exactly? They had to share something special for that to actually happen, right?

Just me rambling here, though.

[hiitsm]

Beneath the Surface: The Fifth Piece

Beneath the Surface is for 18+ only.

Angst, Hurt, Fluff & Smut is included in this Fifth Piece.

-

Beneath the Surface: The Broken Heart Pieces

-

As the clock neared 8 PM, you found yourself nervously pacing in your living room, glancing at the door every few seconds. The air was thick with anticipation, and your mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions. You had spent the entire afternoon trying to keep busy, tidying up your apartment and preparing yourself for the conversation you never thought you’d have.

When the doorbell finally rang, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. You opened the door to find Alexia standing there, looking as nervous and unsure as you felt. She wore a simple outfit, jeans and a sweater, but there was a vulnerability in her eyes that made her seem almost fragile.

"Hi," she said softly, her voice trembling slightly.

"Hi," you replied, stepping aside to let her in. The silence that followed was heavy, but you both knew that there was no turning back now.

You led her to the living room, where you both took a seat on the couch. The tension in the air was palpable, but you forced yourself to speak.

"Do you want something to drink? Water, tea, coffee?" you offered, trying to break the ice.

"Water would be nice, thank you," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

You stood up and quickly fetched a glass of water, handing it to her before sitting back down. You took a deep breath, deciding to address the elephant in the room.

"Alexia, why did you come here tonight?" you asked, your voice tinged with both curiosity and pain.

She looked down at her hands, fiddling with the glass. "I came because I owe you an explanation. And an apology," she began, her voice wavering. "I know I hurt you deeply, and I know that I can never undo the pain I caused. But I need you to understand why I did what I did."

You nodded, urging her to continue.

"When we were together, everything felt perfect. But as time went on, I started to feel like I was losing myself. The pressure of my career, the expectations, the constant travel – it all became too much. And instead of talking to you about it, I pulled away. I thought that if I distanced myself, it would somehow make things easier. But it only made things worse."

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I wrote that letter because I was scared. Scared of facing you, scared of admitting my own vulnerabilities. I thought that by leaving, I was doing the right thing for both of us. But I was wrong. I see that now."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to her words. The pain of the past weeks and months came rushing back, but there was also a sense of relief. Finally, you were getting the answers you had been seeking.

"Alexia, you hurt me more than I can put into words. But I also understand that you were struggling," you said softly, your voice cracking with emotion. "I just wish you had talked to me instead of running away."

"I know," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know I should have. And I'm so, so sorry for everything."

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The weight of her apology hung in the air, a fragile bridge between the past and the possibility of healing.

"Is there any chance we can start over? Even if it's just as friends?" she asked tentatively, her eyes pleading with yours.

You took a deep breath, considering her words. "I don't know, Alexia. It's going to take time for me to process everything. But I think we can try," you replied honestly. "I still care about you, and I think we both need to take this one step at a time."

She nodded, a small smile of hope appearing on her face. "Thank you. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."

As the evening wore on, you found yourselves talking about everything: your past, your present, and the possibility of a future. It was a long and difficult conversation, but it was also a necessary one.

By the time Alexia left, there was a sense of tentative hope in the air. The road to healing would be long and arduous, but for the first time in a long time, you felt like it was possible.

As you closed the door behind her, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of optimism. The past would always be a part of you, but perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for a new beginning.

Hours passed, and as the clock struck midnight, you found yourself lying in bed, wide awake. The events of the evening replayed in your mind, and with it came the memory of how it all began.

It had been a busy Friday night at the restaurant where you worked. You were rushing from table to table, balancing trays and taking orders, trying to keep up with the bustling crowd. That was when you noticed her , Alexia, sitting alone at a corner table. She looked slightly out of place, her casual attire contrasting with the more formal setting of the restaurant. But what caught your attention was the way she was watching you, her eyes following your every move.

When you finally had a moment to catch your breath, you approached her table. "Good evening. Can I get you something to start with?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest.

She smiled, a warm, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat. "Just a glass of water for now, please," she said, her voice soft and melodic.

You nodded, hurrying to get her order. As the evening went on, you found yourself glancing in her direction more often than you intended. Each time, she was still watching you, her gaze never wavering. When your shift finally ended, you were surprised to see her still there, nursing a glass of water and watching you with an intensity that made your cheeks flush.

As you were about to leave, she stood up and approached you. "Hi, I'm Alexia," she said, extending her hand.

You took it, feeling a jolt of electricity at the contact. "Hi, I'm y/n," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

"I know this might sound strange, but would you like to come to my place? I know it's late, but I just feel this connection, and I'd love to get to know you better," she said, her eyes pleading with yours.

Something about her sincerity and the vulnerability in her eyes made you say yes. You followed her to her car, and before you knew it, you were at her apartment. The evening that followed was a blur of emotions and sensations. You talked for hours, sharing stories and dreams, discovering a deep and instant connection that felt almost magical.

As the night wore on, things began to heat up. One moment you were sitting on the couch, laughing at a shared joke, and the next, you were in each other's arms, lips locked in a passionate kiss. The intensity of the moment swept you both away, and you found yourselves in her bedroom, shedding clothes and inhibitions.

The next morning, you woke up wrapped in her arms, feeling a warmth and contentment you hadn't felt in a long time. Alexia was still asleep, her face relaxed and peaceful. You took a moment to just watch her, marveling at the beauty and serenity she exuded.

When she finally stirred and opened her eyes, she smiled at you, pulling you closer. "Good morning," she murmured, her voice husky with sleep.

"Good morning," you replied, your heart swelling with affection.

She held you for a long time, letting you cuddle up to her, her fingers gently stroking your hair. Eventually, she got up and made breakfast for you, the simple gesture filling you with a warmth that words couldn't describe.

As you sat at her kitchen table, eating the delicious meal she had prepared, she looked at you shyly. "Would you like to stay the day? We could go for a walk, maybe watch a movie later. I just don't want this to end," she said, her eyes hopeful.

You smiled, feeling the same way. "I'd love to," you replied, and the rest of the day passed in a blissful haze of companionship and growing affection.

Lying in bed, memories of Alexia flood your mind like a bittersweet movie. Despite the ache of her absence, you can't help but smile at the warmth those moments still bring you. The way she looked at you that first night at the restaurant, the instant connection you felt, it all feels so vivid, so real.

Emotions surge through you: longing, sadness, but also a flicker of hope. Maybe there's a chance for you both to start over, to heal together. The thought lingers as sleep slowly creeps in, but just as you're about to drift off, an overwhelming urge grips you.

You reach for your phone, hesitating only briefly before dialing her number. The phone rings, and then she picks up, her voice groggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Alexia," you say softly, your voice betraying the emotions swirling inside you. "I miss you. I miss us."

There's a pause on the other end, and then you hear her exhale softly. "I miss you too, y/n," she replies quietly.

"I want to try again," you blurt out, your heart racing. "I want to see if we can make this work."

Another pause follows, pregnant with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. "I want that too," she finally says, her voice filled with a mix of relief and hesitation.

"Can we meet tomorrow?" you ask, hope bubbling up despite your nerves.

"Si," she answers without hesitation. "Si, let's meet tomorrow."

As you hang up the phone, a sense of peace settles over you. The road ahead won't be easy, and there are still many conversations to be had. But for the first time in a long while, you feel hopeful about the future, about the possibility of healing and starting anew with Alexia.

With that hope in your heart, you finally allow sleep to claim you, knowing that tomorrow will mark the beginning of a new chapter. A chapter filled with hope, forgiveness, and the promise of a love worth fighting for.

A chapter filled with picking up the final pieces of your broken heart.

[rowretro]

If your requests are open, can I get hard yandere Jake or Ni-Ki where they punish reader for escaping and staying with one of their friends?

𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌…

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, mentions of blood, manipulation(?), shirtless-ish riki, somewhat gore, mentions of sex

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

"Oh my sweet little y/n... I knew you were stupid but for you to be this stupid?!..." Riki tutted, a mocking pout on his lips, his shirt drenched with the blood of someone you called a friend. He barely knew you, yet he befriended you just because he knew you were in the danger of Riki. Your stupid self just had to believe Riki wouldn't know that the motherfucker would be keeping you in his house.

He was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, words can not explain how bad of a decision she made. Riki wasn't too into murdering people or ripping them apart, but for her? god a little blood on his hands was nothing let alone stabbing a dagger with her name encrypted into this so called friend of hers? heck he could even leave the body out because not even a family member was there to want him.

"Oh well... he lived a miserable life anyway.... this was your fault y/n. You know better than to trust a strangers word over mine. Fuck the fact you trusted another man. went into his house. wore his shirt. AND FUCKING LEFT ME?!" He finally yelled causing her to flinch, he stabbed him crazily as you screamed for him to stop, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP CRYING FOR HIM!" he screamed, slapping her painfully on her cheek.

he knelt down before her dark eyes, peircing into her as he groaned, he threw off his shirt "Mother fucker got his filthy blood all over my comfortable t-shirt. The one you should be wearing right now." he sharply said. The man was pissed. He slapped her yet again, ripping off the T-shirt she wore as she carried her and dropped her in the bathtub.

He didn't care that it was hurting her, he turned the tap on as he applied soap to the sponge and aggressively rubbed on her skin. "I know you wouldn't sleep with him. But you still hugged him. You still went in his house and sat on his rubbish sofa. Fuck imagine all the germs in that shithole you went to." He spat as he chucked the sponge at her and yanked her hair. "Clean yourself up and go to bed." He simply said before leaving the restroom.

"Oh no... I hurt my poor y/n oh sweetie... You need to know what you did is awful... you need to feel the pain I did... but I won't make it hurt as much as you hurt me because I love you... you can tell me anything.... did you have sex with this fucker?! is that why you're wearing his ugly shirt?!!!" Riki asked, as She stared in horror, and disgust. Riki chuckled

That very night, was the first time Riki hurt her, though it hurt him more to hurt her. He stepped out of the shower, smiling as he saw Y/n sitting on his bed, wearing his sweater, how it fell just off of her shoulder, her tears gone as she reached out to hug him, she just needed comfort... and she accepted her fate.

"So cute, I know you won't do something like that with some low life... awww my sweet innocent y/nie, so vulnerable and gullible, sweetheart, he's a pervert, he lied to you, he did this so he can use your precious body. You know I've never done and never will do that you know why? because I love you..." Riki explained as he cradled her in his arms.

He palnted soft kisses on her face "Oh my poor darling y/n... don't ever leave me... I can't live without you!" He said as Y/n placed a soft kiss on his plump lips, giving into his toxic love. She can't help it though... isn't it a good thing that he'd even kill for her?.... so many men have only hurt her, humiliated her or wanted to hook up with her but Riki... Riki loves her...

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧