#should just be honest bc what else is there to do but lord I don’t want to

[why-the-heck-not]

my thesis advisor asking me to send them my current draft, and me suddenly realizing I somehow haven’t written a single fucking sentence in 2 weeks, dudes it’s a pr nightmare (been hella unproductive the past weeks idk what tf happened)

[fleapit]

“No one is saying gender is a choice”

https://www.tumblr.com/genderkoolaid/752910129568055297/we-should-start-having-the-gender-talk-with-our

They quite literally are. Though. As well as identities, treating as them as if they’re just toppings you pick and choose rather than descriptors that have minimal criteria. Calling yourself ftm because you “like the label” and being ftm bc you have sex dysphoria and wish to/try to/are transitioning to a more male body are two incredibly different things, you don’t “choose your gender” you simply are a gender, and the “progressive trans people” (ie people co-opting this for whatever reason, to feel special mainly) pushing this idea are fucking over actual trans people to a fucking giant degree.

dude im going to be so honest with you, youve been in and out of my inbox for three days and it's kind of weird that you keep refreshing my blog to send me asks about this still. that is NOT what the post you linked is talking about and you need to work on your reading comprehension. that post is talking about how we should make it EASIER FOR KIDS TO COME OUT AS TRANS because gender identity is fluid and is something that they can change, which a transphobic society tells them is impossible. fuck, dude.

literally nobody is saying that being trans is a choice. but fucking honestly man, even if it was, why do you care? it doesnt affect you. i mean this in the nicest way possible but if someone does/doesnt experience dysphoria, how they identify, what their personal feelings are on THEIR presentation and their gender? that's just none of your business! and you don't get to go around demanding to know every little bit of someones traumatic experience- or lack there of- to decide if they're 'trans enough' or not.

nobody is pretending to be trans to feel special dude. thats right wing propaganda bullshit that you've fallen for. you just dont know their life and you are not the fucking authority on it. your experience will never ever be 1:1 with someone else and you can't decide that yours is the superior one to have. you don't get to decide that someone isn't trans just because their identity doesn't make sense to you. fucking grow up.

someone else's joy is not obliterating yours. it's not a random trans person on the internet's fault that you have dysphoria. stop blaming other people for your problems when they're struggling just as much as you. you aren't entitled to the details. move on with your life and MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY instead of trying to make OTHERS just as miserable as you are, because no matter how much complaining you do, someone isn't going to just STOP being multigender or STOP being a trans man and a woman or STOP being nonbinary just because YOU DECIDED it wasn't real and they were 'faking for attention'

honestly. we're all just trying to pay our fucking bills. it doesn't fucking matter to the people trying to murder us if you're a binary trans man good perfect ideal tranny who passes 100% or a multigender fagdyke they/its 'pick-me attention seeker' - THERE ARE NO GOOD QUEERS IN THEIR EYES, AND THEY WANT US DEAD. i think that takes priority.

just mind your fucking business and you'll find yourself a lot fucking happier. good lord.

[golbrocklovely]

Sam and Colby are getting too popular and I only say this bc people are becoming more aware of the “bad” they do instead of the good. Does that make sense? It doesn’t matter if you’ve done good throughout your whole career. Once you get big and so many eyes are on you.. you’re bound to get “cancelled” over something. And every mistake is thrown into a sea of people who have very strong opinions. And let’s be honest sam and Colby don’t always make the best decisions lol but hey how are you going to learn if you don’t make mistakes? lord knows I’d be dragged to hell and back if I suddenly gained an online following 😭😭😭 the amount of stupid shit I’ve done and said is embarrassing lol

i get what you mean, anon.

maybe it's bc i'm older, maybe it's bc cancelling is just not something that ever actually pans out for the party involved, idk, but at this point i'm so over trying to ruin ppl bc of a fuck up they made.

and look, i understand that my opinion is an outlier, especially online, but i also know it can and does come from a place of privilege. my whole belief is that unless the person involved did something morally bankrupt, like murder or SA or just something deeply morally wrong, at most you should just maybe call them out for the bad behavior and pay attention to whether or not they keep acting that way. and if they don't, then continue to stan them. but if they don't learn, then move on and find someone else to be a fan of.

bc like you said, no one is perfect. no one surrounds themselves with perfect ppl. there's a lot of unpacking and realizations that a person goes thru as they grow up. god knows i was uncouth as a child and said some things i shouldn't have. my only benefit is that most of that happened offline and not on. and eventually i knew what was appropriate and what wasn't. and as i got older i learned to be more empathic or that previous ideas i had were just not the best way to live my life. prime example, the amount of deep internalize misogyny i had to unlearn, and still continue to do.

i just feel like, when it comes to snc, a lot of the wrong shit they have done in the past they have apologized for and don't continue to do. so at this point, you either accept that apology and continue to be their fan or you don't. bc for certain ppl that were once fans of snc, it seems as if they expect a yearly apology for things snc have already apologized for - even tho we can all admit they aren't like that anymore/haven't done that since they got called out. so what exactly do you want them to do? continue to be sorry even tho they have grown up? i just don't get what the end goal here is.

does that mean that they don't still occasionally do some dumb shit i don't agree with? they definitely do lol but most of it is more embarrassing than upsetting, if that makes sense.

but again, my thoughts and feelings come from a place of privilege. technically they haven't done anything to me to truly offend who i am as a person. so maybe that's why i can let things go easier than others. but i also think there are some that aren't truly that upset with them, they just want to join on the hate train if and when it comes into the station. or they are actually upset at the wider picture, but it's easier to focus on snc and demand change since they might actually say sorry instead of ignoring.

give grace a chance, and try not to believe everyone is a terrible person. that's my only advice.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

top 10 strongest firebenders

im on fire. cant stop making lists.

rules: no avatars included and nothing from comics or books. STRICTLY ATLA AND LOK!

lets go

honorable mentions: so i feel as though fire lord sozin should be SOMEWHERE on this list, but we just really do not see him firebend nearly enough to know where he would rank. so im just gonna play it safe and leave him off the list.

10. zhao- im ngl he’s kinda ass LMAOOO. but to be so honest there are no other firebenders that we see for a significant enough amount of time so here he is. he obv has to be kinda good bc he was an admiral/commander/whatever tf, but he gets his ass handed to him in every fight. he gets beaten by zuko in like ep 3 when zuko himself was kinda ass (sorry its true. remember this for later on so u wont be as mad as me), and in the ep with jeong jeong we see that he totally lacks restraint and discipline. zhao sucks! but idk who else would be 10! so here u go!

9. iroh II- love him! we really dont see much of him but what we do see is pretty epic! its nothing that would be able to put him any higher on this list, but again he’s a general (i think LOLLLL) so hes gotta be good. he was def a force to be reckoned with when we saw him, we just didn’t see him much!

8. mako- to be so honest i think mako is over-hated in a lot of ways, his bending being one of them. i feel like he isn’t very spiritually connected with firebending which isn’t necessarily a problem but it is one of the reasons he can’t be any higher (in my opinion). he is still a master though and is the best firebender we see in tlok (outside of pli). he can lightning bend soooo easily, has great battle iq, and he’s very shifty, and he uses his MMA style firebending to his advantage for sure. he’s definitely the pinnacle of a modern fire bender which is cool to see but i do think works to his detriment when it comes to the rest of this list. but even though he’s so low on this list, make no mistake he is an excellent firebender and i think he outbends bolin easily (im just bringing bolin up because bolin is higher on his list than mako is but i do think mako is the better overall bender).

7. jeong jeong- we don’t see much from jeong jeong so idk if this is fully fair, but he is a legend in avatar the last airbender, and when we do see him firebend, we see stuff that really no one else in the show does. he clearly has a lot of raw strength and talent, and i think a lot of his power comes from his understanding of firebending. he’s also a member of the white lotus! i just can’t put him higher because 1. he doesn’t have any sub bending feats (not that that fully matters but it is definitely a plus to have those skills) and 2. we don’t see him much.

6. zuko- im not gonna lie i think zuko is overrated as a firebender. HOWEVER he is by farrrrrr the most improved firebender we see across both series. he saw the original firebenders/the dragons/the meaning of firebending whatever tf and i think that gave him a full spiritual connection and understanding of firebending. after this he was locked tf in! i just can’t put him higher because, this is fucked up to say, he lacks the natural ability and talent that numbers 5-1 have (IN MY OPINION!!!). he started as a great firebender that works his way up and earns his spot as a master firebender, but firebending doesn’t exactly come easy to him, and honestly, his firebending just does not impress me the way 5-1’s firebending impresses me. sorry zuzu!

5. p’li- so her and combustion man are sooooo interchangeable for me like i really cannot decide who is the stronger bender. all i will say is combustion bending is OP as FUCKKKKKK and that’s why p’li is here. both combustion benders we see are insaneeeeee threats.

4. combustion man- the only reason he is over p’li is because 1. he just seems like a more booming threat that the gaang really cannot figure out how to deal with than p’li was in tlok and 2. p’li gets killed lol. combustion man does not get killed (i think…..?) so i think he’s higher for those reasons but i think they are super interchangeable and i can see why u might think they could be switched.

3. azula- so ok. if we were making a list of “firebenders with the most potential” she is number 1. imo she is the best firebender in the verse other than 1 and 2 and it isn’t even close. but she is only 14 and just is not fully realized as a firebender like 1 and 2 are even before she loses her mind. i donttttt wanna hear “well zuko surpasses her in the end” because yes ur right but literally only because she genuinely has a psychotic breakdown. i think if u take crossroads of destiny azula and have her fight sozin’s comet zuko, she still clears. she has such an immense level of skill and technique that really cannot be matched. she has an insane battle iq, and yes she’s naturally gifted but she is also extremely hardworking. she is also the most fun firebender to watch but i guess that’s not a valid point lol. i think if she gets her mental health in check in her adulthood then she can easily become the best firebender in the verse. unfortunately we dont see that tho! also BLUE FIRE!!!!!!!! blue fire. im done here.

2. iroh- ok. i know. i know. many of u think he’s number one. for me, he just isn’t. maybeeeeee in his prime but he is simply not there anymore which is what we see. with that being said he is the mf dragon of the west and he outclasses every other firebender below him on this list with ease. it was suggested that he try to fight ozai for a reason! he’s really the only other firebender that is on his level! he also easily handles azula which no other firebender can do.

1. ozai- i dont have a fun long winded reason for this one. i know we only see him bending (for the most part) during sozin’s comet when all firebenders are buffed, but even comparing him there to the other firebenders during the comet, he was an absolute MONSTER firebender. also ive used phrases like “spiritual connection” a lot to describe a few of these people, and to be honest, i feel like ozai has little to none of that, which is definitely a con for him, but this is just one of those situations where his insane natural ability, raw strength, and power make him outbend literally everybody else. lots of people argue ozai and iroh’s spots but 1. iroh says himself he isn’t sure that he can beat ozai and 2. im pretty positive bryke literally said ozai is the strongest firebender in the world. which is a boring piece of evidence, but it’s a pretty good piece of evidence nonetheless. also he kicks aang’s ass the entire final battle until aang goes into the avatar state lol. he just seems like the most overwhelming force of firebending we ever see imo!

[livwritesstuff]

thanks for the tag @cheeky-undead <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55 (according to AO3)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

435,923 good lord

3. What fandoms do you write for?

used to write for legends of tomorrow (rip) and now it's literally just steddie (and ronance when the inspiration strikes)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

if we're only talking stranger things (bc tbh i don't really wanna talk LoT lol):

i want your guy (to know)

swing, sucker, swing

plant a seed (we'll watch it grow)

honeydew (you love me, well)

don't look back, love (there's a million people)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yep i try my best to reply to all of them

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really one for angst tbh (writing it, anyway, i LOVE reading it). Angstiest overall is probably Covered in the Colors (LoT soulmate au w/an unhappy ending). For ST it's probably hold on (hold you)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh most of my series The Satellite and the Sky has happy endings, but I guess that depends on your definition of "happy". plant a seed (we’ll watch it grow) is probably the happiest ending overall.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not very often these days -- i don't think it's ever happened during my time writing for the ST fandom bc i think there's been a shift in awareness that leaving hate comments on fic is generally really shitty and that individuals are ultimately responsible for curating their online experience

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I personally am not a smut writer. idk why but i always run into weird blockers whenever i try

10. Do you write crossovers?

not at the moment

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so -- come to think of it, I should probably being checking in on that every now and then

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i'm aware of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope - not opposed to it except that I move at a glacial pace when it comes to writing and I don't want to put that burden on anyone else lol

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ooh fav of all time? idk i’m not really a multi-shipper to be honest. i usually get really into one ship for a while until my interest runs dry. longest running would probably be captain canary from legends of tomorrow, but i see myself ranting about all the ronance missed opportunities for a Long Time

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i have bits and pieces of a hadestown au for steddie that i sincerely doubt will ever see the light of day bc I'm so genuinely intimidated by it. that musical is so so good and I couldn't write anything that came even close

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at making things feel real. i’m a planner and a bit of an over-thinker so i really like the small details. i also tend to lean on writing what i know which i think helps

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a hard time sticking to just one tense lol i don’t know what that's about.

i’m also a pretty literal thinker so tapping into metaphors and abstract ideas is still a challenge for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

there are stronger soldiers than me out there who can do this. generally speaking, i like to write what i know. english is the only language i have total fluency in so if i wanted to write dialogue in another language, i'd have to rely on google translate which is obviously not accurate at all (not for conversational dialogue anyway), and I think some realism slips there

19. First fandom you wrote for?

not sure if it counts, but i used to write little self-insert harry potter stories when i was in elementary school before i even knew that fic was a thing. i think my first published fic would have been for glee (again, rip)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

tbh I think just like honey (you make me melt) is my fav. I had never written Eddie's POV up to that point and I was really nervous going into it, but something about writing from his perspective made it easier for me to face some of my writing challenges

i also had SO much fun writing my tommy pov i want your guy (to know)

[iheartmoons]

asks for you bc i’m bored

fav food?

fav drink?

fav show?

fav subject? (i feel like i already know this one but i might be wrong so)

fav snack?

comfort food?

weirdest food you've ever eaten?

most out of character thing you've ever done?

wallpaper?

if you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

any phobias?

is there anything you’d wait in line for a week to do, see, or get?

if you could name your brain, what would you name it?

where do you want to travel the most?

you don’t have to answer all of them or any at all if you don’t want to!! they’re very random lmao

you can answer privately too if you’d like <3

OMG HI i should be sleeping but this is more fun:

(strap in bc it turns out that i cant choose anything for the life of me, and i enjoy oversharing)

fav food: i cant….choose. being a basic bitch id say like chicken curry and rice bc idk 🧍‍♂️it’s good. but uhhh i love chinese food generally, like oh man. duck pancakes w the cucumbers and sauces and uh, the noodles and the pork and chicken and dumplings and bao buns (i am aware this sounds terrible to others, but i am drooling)

fav drink: ooh oreo milkshake, or if we’re talking standard drink from the shop, specifically fanta fruit twist (it’s also the colour i would dye my hair btw). my go-to is always generally water tho 🤭

fav show: i cant choose…. maybe like friday night dinner, she-ra, and strong girl bong soon

fav subject: english <3

fav snack: OH um. i love choc chip muffins or choc chip cookies tbh, also brownies!!!!

comfort food: any type of chicken curry and rice

weirdest food i’ve eaten: i really haven’t eaten anything weird. i don’t eat any red meat very often apart from pork, sooo idk. (i’m thinking meat wise here btw) i guess i’d say pig intestines - look it sounds bad, but if you think abt it, lots of people are eating all the other parts of the pig w/o thinking about it. my bro once ate crocodile at a farm once tho which was pretty wild (apparently it tastes like chicken)

most out of character thing ive ever done: see i cant really answer this because i’m just so different in diff situations or w diff people, but i honest to god think that it’s saying i love you to all my online friends. like. id never ever do that in real life. i find it extremely hard to show my emotions, it’s so awkward and uncomfy.

wallpaper: for a moment there i couldn’t decide whether u were asking abt my literal wallpaper or my phone wallpaper…. i’m still unsure… but my lock screen is reg and sirius, and my home screen is the marauders. and if ur asking abt my bedroom, i got lilac walls 🙈

if i had an unlimited supply of smth, what wld i choose: ohhhhhh oh. fuck idk. ummm money??? lmao 😭😭😭 maybe time with my cousin (she’s my fav person and she doesn’t live in the same city + she’s going to uni after next year so my chances of seeing her are slimming)

phobias: the ocean/any big body of water, death (big big emphasis on this one) and ummm like dolls and clowns- actually i’m scared of so many things, the list could go on and on

smth i’d wait in line to see/do/get: i’d wait in line for a hug from mitski tbh

if i could name my brain, what wld i name it: WHAT SORT OF QUESRIONS ARE THESE 😭😭 good lord. id name it the fucking universe. i had this thing when i was younger where i started this universe and kept building characters upon characters until there were hundreds and i knew each of their intricate storylines and id act them out and it was actually bad bc i couldn’t focus on anything else for literal years (there you go, big moons secret - not rlly a secret, i’ve said it before) so yes. there is an entire universe up in my brain probably.

where do you want to travel the most: i wanna go to the south of france + tokyo + venice, but i heard it’s not all that. my fav places that i’ve been to are vietnam and america which r two very different places and i adored them - vietnam more for the food and culture and surroundings, american more bc of family + tourist attractions + theme parks. so. maybe one of those wins.

[strawberrybuni]

🧵 anon here just wanted to say I hope your having an amazing day you are genuinely so cool and an amazing writer <3

Also regarding your recent post (I hope im not overstepping here, please feel free to ignore or tell me to mind my business lol I will not be offended) I wouldn’t worry too much about being seen as rude- i have an auditory processing disorder so I miss people talking to me or need them to repeat themselves all the time and I’ve found that people usually get that it’s not an intentional thing just a mistake if you just let them know you didn’t hear them and are not ignoring them on purpose.

I’ve found headphones are fairly easy to explain and a lot of people like to wear them in public so I’m sure most understand and I doubt anyone thinks youre rude for it (especially seeing as it is a common honest mistake) unless they’re weird about manners or kind of a dick or something in which case I don’t have an answer tbh

If you want it to be more clear that you are listening to music you could try getting some cheap overear headphones as they tend to be more visible though some people find them uncomfortable to wear.

PS re-reading some of your old stuff (the one with asking the jjk characters about a bite mark tattoo) and the reader calling Mahito a biter made me giggle really hard and also I 100% agree that’s something he’d do. Also sweet gods your dialogue is all so in character and widely varied character to character in ways that fit really perfectly and I also like the way you write the reader themself quite a lot and good lord you are so good at this I am impressed every time I re read your work

(Feel like I should mention I am very sleepy rn so this message may or may not be totally coherent, but yeah I hope you are taking care of yourself and doing well and though just hearing someone else say it isn’t super helpful I do honestly find that most people are usually not judging you for small things as much as you think especially if there is a clear and reasonable explanation which there 100% is in this case <3)

(Also again I hope I’m not overstepping or anything and I hope my sleepy brain didn’t phrase any of this in an accidentally rude way or something; my ability to convey tone goes down 100% when im sleepy but I just wanted to let you know that I doubt you are being judged and I know just being told that doesn’t solve the issue or anything but might be good to hear? Idk im gonna stop talking I think I might be starting to repeat myself now lol)

(Also sorry this got so long lol)

I swear you always know how to make me go 🥺 I hope you're having an even MORE amazing day!!

oh you're not overstepping at all!!! I always get so worried ugh, I think what doesn't help is that I use earbuds, and I have fluffy curly hair that covers my ears so people can't see if I'm wearing headphones or not(it's how I've gotten away with it at work and in class teehee), but you're right usually when I'm like OMG IM SORRY I HAD HEADPHONES IN they're always very understanding! I just overthink 🥺

no bc mahito is SO a biter like omg, but thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 I'm really happy you like how i write my reader! maybe other writers can relate, but my reader is very much myself tbh, like some of my friends who know of my blog have read some of my stuff and been like "why is that literally a conversation we've had?" LOL

you can thank my one short film teacher for teaching me his tips and tricks when it comes to writing dialog for scripts fr fr, I learned from him :3

also also don't apologize! I deeply enjoy hearing what you have to say 🫶🏻

[beta-adjacent]

AGGHHH YIPPEE :strained smile emoji: I GUESS YALL ARE GETTKNG MORE FEELS TODAY: autism edition (not me having autism, I don’t think, unless this is related to that somehow. Idk my Brian is genuinely so scatterbrained rn I don’t know what to do with myself. Like all my organs are unraveling bc I kept them too compact last week. Sorry, worse stuff under the cut :’)))))))) sorry again)

Bro, my empathy is so fucking bad because I feel too much of people’s emotions and then I just. Assume something I read is something everyone experiences.

Like, number one, got called ~The Spectrum Whisperer~ during the holidays this year ayyyyyyyyyyy let’s go (they all marvel at me, like understanding autism is somehow to be marveled?????????? Skill issue, that’s what they all have.)

Number two, I sometimes feel like a really really bad whisperer (I shouldn’t actually call myself a “whisperer” because again, this shit isn’t hard, people are just assholes or just aren’t taking the time to learn. Fucking skill issues y’all!!!) because I Know I can’t assume or generalize things, but I still do.

Like, ohohoho my god, my anxiety around the thought of autistic people getting their schedule thrown off because of me?????!?!? I want to break down crying and eject my organs out of my body bro. Because I know that feeling!!!! Losing control because you don’t know what’ll happen in your day is fucking angering and confusing and makes you feel terrible!!!!!!! And that’s coming from someone who (probably) doesn’t even have autism.

So good golly, it makes me sick to my stomach to think I’ve ruined someone’s schedule. But I am a human and schedules often go wrong and I feel so guilty everytime it does. I can’t ever tell if it’s better to just suffer through and let the schedule run its course (save their schedule) or if I should just say I can’t do it (and save my schedule).

What’s worse is that I think the majority of the autistics I’m surrounded by rn don’t actually mind schedule changes that much!! It’s a fucking me emotion and assumption I’m imposing onto them, like a total asshole!!!!!!!! It makes me want to break out in hives or pull my bones out of my body, like that level of anguish y’know???!?!?!?

So then of course now I’m the self-fulfilling asshole prophecy who’s ruining my own schedule and torturing everyone else by trying to make everyone fit in my schedule. Which of course I’m aware of and that contributes to just another feeling of self-loathing and doubt.

And what sucks about that is the autistic people in my life rn really prioritize honesty. It’s been so hard to remember to be honest. I kind of forgot why I lie in conversation or about anything at all. No one likes dishonesty. Except those rare times when they do. But I can’t always tell that so I just play it safe by lying about random things all the time. Am I lying to you all right now by explaining this story? I might not be, but now I’ve planted the idea in your head!

anyway uhhh. Right, there’s a rarely seen desire in the people I care about in my life to be truthful about everything. “Ew gross,” I think to them, “even lies of omission?” They reply in my head “especially that!!” I groan, and turn away from them, but then I get scared they disappeared, as if I’m some child and they’re playing peekaboo just to fuck with me. So I whip my head back and they’re still fucking there. Tormenting me, I tell you!! But of course they aren’t actually, it’s just my fear again. Silly fear.

….wow I totally lost track of everything I was talking about. But I’d love to talk to my Good Honest Friends about this stuff, but after all of this, do you really think I’d allow myself to tell them? My Good/Bad Dishonest Friends definitely wouldn’t get it. My Bad Honest Friends actually might…. But they might hurt my feelings if I tell them. Lord forbid they do as I fear and actually say I have a skill issue!

No I’m kidding. None of this is real. I made it all up. I’m perfect and have no such feelings or flaws or worrries. And if I did I’d certainly feel like I could tell absolutely anyone about them other than my therapist who I’ve even started to suspect hates me for my withdrawn nature.

Ok I read through everything I wrote. This is a good skill I learned a long time ago. If I don’t know what I’m saying, I pause and then I think back and then I try to reformulate my thoughts before the anxiety of taking too long to think eats me. So I’m trying to say that my empathy levels of really kind but really really stupid, because I’m imposing my own issue onto others, and instead of just owning up to my issue and working with people on a mutually agreed upon midpoint, I try to cut corners by meeting them exactly where they’re at, which isn’t often where I’m at, and praying I didn’t stretch myself too thin, except they can always tell when I have because I’m so fucking easy to read that it’s embarrassing.

I don’t know what I’d do with myself if they hate me for what I do or think or say. Probably unsavory things. I wish I didn’t care so much. Maybe this isn’t empathy. It’s just some ugly curse I’ve been born with. But I love them so much. But I hate myself so much. I’m so tired.

TLDR uhhh. Purposefully bulldoze over people’s schedules, especially mine.

[dex-starr]

I had a deep convo with my best friend last night and like it’s helped me think on some things.

Alright so the big challenge I’ve been facing involve the concept of identity in so many ways. Like I never wrestled with my sexuality bc that shits just concretely clear where I go in the spectrum. My expression though? That’s always been the part where I personally feel like an amorphous blob that can present as “male” due to others convenience and do “male” things sexually but that’s just because that’s ascribed to that. Since like… my behavior is tied to whatever the fuck that definition is. But there’s so much more to me than just that, if I had the chance to present in a way I’d like I’d totally do the flamboyant villain garbs.

This leads me to who I am with people I care and love for. I become all about them, I knew this because my sense of self for this is just really bad. I’m working on it, but it takes time after lord knows how many years. I know this aspect is an issue my ex had bc she thought I wasn’t putting her above anyone else but like…. I was. It’s just bad to show bc of what my normal is and when that standard changes due to anything? I’m sure the assumption was that I didn’t care or my feelings decreased — which is understandable but wrong if you just had talked to me more about it.

But I’m not saying that I’m free of guilt for not talking about these issues I had, these problems I hid. Oh no I should have talked about it, but I didn’t want to have the people I care about think bad things about me because these were things I was trying to get past. This was especially true with my ex but I was just fighting so much shit unmedicated that I was always going to lose that battle. If I could have done things differently I totally would, but I don’t think they would have much of a difference because I know the problem was communication on both ends. Me not communicating or choosing to not address something and then doing similar but different things.

I feel like I went nowhere with this but I just wanted to say thinking all this I’m comfortable with me, I’m comfortable with my traits but all of these comforts are contingent on the outside bc like I told my friend — it was super easy for me to accept how my ex thought I was attractive and what she liked about me. And if that was bullshit now like I was told by this former mutual friend then fuck it because I was at least honest with myself. Honest in the sense that absolutely everything out of my mouth about them to them is my honest feelings to this day, but also I would go like straight back into it.

A lot of my life has been based on being forced to grow up or act a certain way because of expectations of me. If not all my life has been that…. But now? Now I’m just throwing my full authentic self out there, you were the first person I did that for. My friend being the second. I know I’ve made mistakes and believe me the road is bumpy. But I am more than that and I’m trying to be my best me

[wrathfl]

✉ ・ │the be honest meme. ・@unfogged

3, 8, 16!

3. What current rp trend do you hate?

Hm honestly I really don’t pay attention to the trends ( or simply I don’t notice them ) So I don’t think I have ones that I dislike! From an artistic perspective, I think people should do what makes them happy. Go wild! Enjoy yourself.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

• My main problem is that we are in the year 2023 and OCs are still treated poorly. I’ve seen so many posts declaring love for oc’s but in the end, people will ignore them. But Esme that's not true! Yes, it is. I have a canon blog and each week I have there +20 ask’s in my inbox to answer and people storming my discord to plot out things and throw likes at everything I post there. But do you know how many asks Mercy gets in a week? From 0 to 1 lol. It’s like pulling teeth every time no matter how much work I put into her. And guess what I still will draw artworks for her and write headcanon nobody reads lol. Why? bc I love her . • It’s a bit small but the rules stating that sb will only interact with human face-claims and block draw ones. I mean everyone has their preference but it’s a bit weird for me especially when I prefer to draw my OC’s rather than look for some actor's face who will not resemble them, as I imagine them to look like. • Sending anon hate in the year of the Lord 2023 . If you want to say something tell me in DM’s like an adult.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

OOF though one. probably just remind people that at the end of the day writing roleplay it’s just a hobby for fun. If at the end of the day, you are depressed/angry about your portrayal , how your statistics look like , the amount of asks you got in a day, or being jealous about someone else blog being more popular then that’s not a healthy hobby/method of escaping daily stress.

[spacerockfloater]

Ok, now you’re just literally going against show canon.

Viserys still chooses to protect Rhaenyra EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. No matter what ANYONE says, he always has her back. There’s no way in the world Criston could come forward publicly about what they did and not lose his head. Like, when he confesses to Alicent, he is ready to die. It is a shock to him that she lets him go. I don’t know where all of you got this idea that because he is a man he has power over her. He’s literally at the mercy of Rhaenyra and Viserys. Three examples of men speaking out against her is somehow still not enough for y’all.

Secondly, I don’t even KNOW how we ended up discussing Rhaenyra’s possible life conditions as a runaway in Essos, but sure, let me humour you. First of all, assuming that her life would be NOTHING but absolute horror and torture is insane. As if many people there didn’t also thrive and live well??? Allow me to remind you that Rhaenyra would not be the first Targ to run away to Essos. Princess Saera did the exact same thing and became rich as fuck. Like, Rhaenyra has FAMILY over there who can help her live a very comfortable life???? Saera is most likely still alive and if not, she has many children who run her businesses. She even sends three of them back to Westeros. Viserys and Danny do the exact same thing many years later and they are welcomed by most lords of Essos who treat them EXCEPTIONALLY well even if their family is ruined. Her uncle Daemon and his wife also run away there and no one disturbed them. Rhaenyra would never go hungry. In fact, it she wanted to, she could simply tell her dad that she wants out of this deal and just go wherever the fuck she wants with her fortune and whomever else she wants and her dragon and live a happy life. OMG, that’s literally what she tells Alicent she wants to do with her life barely two years ago!!!! Rhaenyra would NEVER go hungry in Essos. She’d always be well received. And guess what. Her ultimate solution is to SAIL TO ESSOS WITHOUT A PENNY TO HER NAME WHEN SHE LOSES THE WAR. Rhae simply didnt WANT to lose her title for Cole, and that’s totally fine, but it wasnt the thought of hunger that kept her from going, it was her own goals and ambitions that she considered more important than Criston. And props to her I guess, but Cole didnt have to sit around and be okay with it. Dating culture today has REALLY fucked yall up, yo. The guy literally told her “Hey, if you’re miserable and you love me, come live a life in which we’ll do honest work and be together” and yall sneered down on it as if ANY of you are above (if at all) middle class citizens??? Who ARE you people, lmfao?!! And then calling HIM a fuckboy because he didnt want to be used for sex and was MAD that Rhaenyra thought so low of him??!! “Oh he should have known Rhaenyra better” uhm didnt Rhaenyra know HIM at all??? And btw he did think he knew Rhaenyra, how could he be aware that she just liked to complain about everything when in fact she craved the power and the throne? And you’re telling me that HE would have to give up HIS post???? The one he worked his ass off for???? When Rhaenyra would NEVER do the same for a position she just stumbled in???? This is an insane thing to say for someone who was sexually exploited by their boss as a communist. Why would he not change sides???? Alicent treated him MUCH better????? Y’all just hate him bc he didnt choose to be Nyra’s pussy whipped bitch. And ultimately, his job meant everything to him and it came second only to the love he thought Nyra and he had for one another. Not his fault she was shady as fuck.

The drinking argument again. She wasnt drunk the next morning. She wasnt drunk on the boat when she asked him to be her boy toy. She wasnt drunk when she fucked her uncle at his wife’s funeral. Rhaenyra absolutely is a selfish pleasure seeker and thats not her fault mostly because Daemon was the one that dragged her into this path and Viserys allowed this to happen but.. she still is a hedonist. Let’s not act like she’s not. She orchestrates her husbands fake death so she can fuck her uncle in peace. She did not need to do all that. She could stay with Laenor, marry their “kids” to Daemon’s and she’d have everyone on her team from the start with no drama. But she went along and did it anyway bc that’s what she WANTED TO DO!!! FOR HERSELF!!!!

Lastly, on the one hand you’re saying that it makes no sense for Westeros to leave the princess alone with a man, but on the other you believe that in the Westerosi society there’a a whole social construct about committed sex and casual sex that Cole must be able to differentiate between…? Lol??? Which one is it???? Is Westeros sexually progressive or not???? Having sex with multiple people casually is considered scandalous and whore-y behaviour for men and women alike. Her uncle is called lord Flea Bottom. People think ill about ANYONE who engages in such activities. It’s not a normalised thing for princes and lords to fuck around with prostitutes. Viserys doesnt do it. Otto doesnt do it. Daemon DOES though and he is notorious about it. Rhaenyra will absolutely get the same and worse treatment. Shame on Cole for not believing his friend and love to be a whore I guess and trusting that she really cares about him and his values! Lol.

“Rhaenyra would never force him if he said no” oh but he did say no and she did force him still. Was that no not loud enough for you??? Did he not fight back enough??? Are you asking if he actually liked it??? You sound like a rapist’s lawyer.

“Rhaenyra can fuck anyone she wants and doesn’t owe anyone shit and didnt make any promises” now tell me who’s the fuckboy here.

Being a female viewer and hating Criston Cole is deranged.

I have to get this off my chest. The blind hatred that Criston is receiving from women is insane and I’m going to explain why.

For context, I am talking about Show Criston, not Book Criston. Comparing two standalone versions of a story is silly.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many women, who are the primary victims of utilitarian relationships, would ever come together and shit on Criston for enduring such a situation.

I’m sorry, but how many of you have been used by men? How many of you have been reduced to one night stands, situationships and placeholder wives? How many of you have been deemed “not good enough” to be an exclusive partner? I log into tiktok and I see NOTHING but stories of broken women who are just used for sex, money, care and whatnot by men, and then they are tossed away like worthless trash while said men continue their pursuit of the ideal woman. Being used by men just for sex and being denied the status of girlfriend, let alone wife, is probably one of the worst plagues women are experiencing in the western world because the MOMENT we were emancipated, men understood that they don’t owe us shit anymore and instead of treating us with respect, they decided to grab whatever they can and give nothing back. Do not tell me that there are women out there that are fine with this arrangement because the multiple “GWM while I tell you about the guy that was with me for 12 years and then married someone else” tell a different story, one of multiple women’s dignities being trampled by hungry men. My heart breaks for every woman (EVERY woman, cis, trans, EVERY woman) who has been called by a man she loves just for sex, for every woman whose man never wanted to be seen in public with her, for every woman who had to hear that her man is not ready for a relationship only to witness him getting engaged to another woman 2 weeks after. I hope you overcome this and become stronger and I am glad that we are finally supporting one another.

How can we then, the women who are helping other female victims rise up and speak out against this kind of abuse, push Criston down and tell him to suck it up and accept being Rhaenyra’s plaything? Have we no mercy? Are we so hungry for revenge against men that we’d want them to endure the same humiliation that we did, as if one fictional man’s suffering would bring us justice? Are we so jealous that Criston didn’t sit down and just take it like the rest of us, but instead spoke up and removed himself from that situation? Or are we so gullible that we accept what the screenwriters shove down our throats and unknowingly support the patriarchic view that if you’re being used by someone you should just accept it?

I can hear some of you arguing that “Oh, this is different because Rhaenyra is royalty!” as if being used and tossed by a powerful person somehow makes the situation any better? Would it be okay if a rich person wanted to constantly use you for sex while he keeps looking for a better woman to be by his side, just because he values his wealth and status more? Rhaenyra straight up sneered at the idea of a simple life with him. She straight up told him that HE is not worth as much as her crown. OUCH. Even though I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of being told you are not enough by your loved one, it was Rhaenyra’s right to choose what her priorities are, but WHY would he have to accept being her sidepiece? “These were different times”: does this make it any less devastating for the victim? And he was a victim because Rhaenyra still used Criston and misled him by constantly complaining about how she HATES her duties for YEARS and then luring him to break his oath. Do you think he would have still slept with her if he was aware that moments ago, Rhaenyra was begging on her knees to be fucked by Daemon and only turned to Criston because her first option was no longer available? Like, the man was contemplating having sex with her and resisted her for a good fucking while, so imagine how quickly he would have turned around and walked out that door if he had that information beforehand. You know why? Because he loved her. He loved her to the point that he broke his oath for her, the oath of a station he FOUGHT FOR IN A WAR. He shed blood and sweat and risked his life for the mere opportunity to gain that position. This was ALL he had, he came from NOTHING and he was still willing to toss it all away for Rhaenyra not once, but twice. It wasn’t just sex he wanted because we never see him have sex again after that. He became vulnerable and gave up everything that he was to be with Rhaenyra. He was willing to abandon his whole identity for her sake. Is this not what the ideal partner is? Ready to abandon everything for your shake? Everything he fought for, tooth and nail? Was he unreasonable in thinking that Rhaenyra was willing to do the same for him? Was he crazy to think that because he was ready to put everything he FOUGHT for aside for her shake, Rhaenyra would also put aside a duty she was handed and actively seem to hate for him too? Fuck no! After hearing her constant talk about how she hates her father, her duties, her refusal to wed other men, how she is trapped as a princess, how people have no idea how much it SUCKS being her, why would he not assume that she’d be willing to give it all up for him, as he’d do for her We never see Rhaenyra even TRY to be a ruler, just complain about it. Of course it would be a fucking shock to him hearing her say “Lol dude, I actually do kinda want this”.

Criston was actually the only person in the series that wanted Rhaenyra for her, not her money or crown. I’m not saying she had to follow him, it was her right to refuse him, but his willingness to lead a simple life with just her has got to mean something. And don’t give me that “he only wanted to redeem his honour by marrying her” crap, because first of all Criston nutted up and admitted everything to Alicent and was ready to face death without EVER blaming Rhaenyra for anything, and second of all, oh no, how dare a human being have ethical values and desire to live with dignity in society’s broad light rather than move in the shadows as the princess’s secret boytoy! Bad, bad Criston for feeling you have to atone for your sins. Maybe we as people have become so corrupt that we envy those who wish to walk a virtuous path in life. Or maybe y’all have become so fond of the unhinged unapologetic character trope because it feels “original” (even if it’s ridiculously overused nowadays) that you’ve actually forgotten what characters with good morals are. Like, picking your fave war criminal and rolling with them because you enjoy good drama, especially in a show that’s meant to provide entertainment, is one thing, but passionately stating that Criston had to submit to that humiliation is something else entirely.

Finally, let’s ditch the Criston being a misogynist bullshit because he had NO issue obeying Rhaenyra before their affair or Alicent. And he is ALWAYS true to himself and his values, because even after everything he endured, he did not use Alicent’s anger as an excuse to take revenge on Rhaenyra and harm her children. Criston never betrayed her, Rhaenyra used him and he walked away and he went towards the only person who seemed to spare him some sympathy and understand him and not condemn him for his crimes even if he hated himself, which is typical victim mentality. And don’t get me started on the Joffrey incident because y’all tore Cole to SHREDS for it. Joffrey had it fucking coming. You don’t go up to people’s faces, especially ones you don’t know, threaten them by telling them you know their secret, a secret that SHAMES them and burdens them to the point they’re ready to commit suicide, and all but directly call them a whore. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? They’d shake hands? Piss off. Let this be a lesson to anyone that doesn’t know how to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other people’s business. Also, mocking his suicide attempt makes my stomach turn. Just take a moment to consider all the young women who just like him, reluctantly surrendered their virginities to men only to find out they were nothing but sex dolls in their eyes, all these girls whose trust led to their secret being spread and them getting ridiculed and slut shamed for it: how many girls have taken their own lives because they found living with such a burden unbearable?

For the love of everything you hold sacred, please wake up sisters. The narrative that you can be used by someone powerful and you have to accept it because that’s the way things are is a man’s construct. Do not let them fool you.

[elliesguitarstrings]

Promises, Promises (Teaser)

Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You and Tom were childhood best friends turned lovers, and he made a promise to be with you forever. But some promises are just meant to be broken.

Warnings: angst, language, some fluff (ribs by lorde energy)

A/N: i've been working on this fic for A WHILE and I'm almost finished with it! be prepared this is gonna be a long (and sad) one but i absolutely love it, so i decided to post a little teaser bc i’m so excited about it hehe

Flashbacks are in italics

~~~~~~~~

"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.

"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.

"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.

The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND

"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.

"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.

The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.

Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"

This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.

Paddy piped up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"

"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"

You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.

"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."

Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.

"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.

The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.

"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"

You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.

"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"

Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."

"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."

She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.

You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.

"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.

"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.

"But I want you here too!" he pouts.

"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.

"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.

"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"

Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.

You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.

After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.

You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.

"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.

"I don't want things to change Tommy. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America to go film. I'm so proud of you and so excited for you because I know this is like, your dream, but I really don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.

He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"

You smile softly, "You promise?"

"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment for the rest of eternity with him, and only him.

That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything did change. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.

~~~~~~~~

FULL FIC COMING SOON! i hope y'all are excited :)

Tagging some cool people: @emmastarz @selfcarecap @heavenlyholland @spideyspeaches @felicityparkers @ithoughtyouweresokovian @anna-sofia @blizzardbabe @bichellejones @londonspidey @erule @holland-styles @spideybrie @annathesillyfriend @starknik22 @theliterarymess

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

hello! I was wondering if u could make a summary of all the suitors' flaws n how Jonah would react to them

I would be more than happy to!

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Ray: his main flaw is his willingness to trust others that are close to him. That doesn’t really sound like a flaw, but in Seth’s route, even though he knew that there was a spy, he still refused to believe that his one of his friends could’ve betrayed him. That’s super nice of him as a friend, but I feel like Jonah wouldn’t consider it as a good trait for a King.

Sirius: he has the physical inability to express his feelings properly. Like, in his own route, he barely ever said “I love you” to MC, and I feel like he’s trying really hard to fit into the “mature and stoic guy” category. Jonah kinda struggles with the same things (can’t talk about feelings + tries to be cool), but I don’t think he’d appreciate them in someone else. 

Luka: he’s unwilling to change his own perceptions. For example, in his own route, one of the big things he struggle with is feeling unimportant because ppl don’t need him. That’s not actually true, bc he’s the Jack of Spades now and an entire territory is depending on him, but he’s so stuck in his own idea of himself that he can’t even see it in another way until MC comes along. He also applies this to Jonah, and strongly believes that Jonah abandoned him when Jonah was training to become Queen. I don’t know if Jonah will understand why Luka acts likes this, but he’s always going to be sad when his beloved little brother detests him.

Fenrir: he’s way too obsessed with fights. Look, I know that his description is “a battle-crazy gun maniac” and he uses magically modified guns and he doesn’t mean any harm by liking to fight bc he’s a super active guy, it’s still kinda unsettling (also bc I can’t actually think of any other character flaws bc Fenrir is a good boi). Jonah would definitely find this behavior untasteful, especially since Fenrir also comes from a good family.

Seth: probably how manipulative he is. In his own route, his mission is to “seduce” MC into joining the Magic Tower (remind you of anyone else???), and he succeeds in making MC fall in love, like, 10 parts in. He also fell in love with MC along the way, but he lured her with his body XDD. Jonah probably disapproves of some of his methods, but he can’t complain too much because he kinda did the same thing.

Lancelot: he’s too self-sacrificing for his own good. I mean, when Amon became a threat, instead of telling everyone else about it, he chooses to shoulder the burden himself. I can understand that he’s trying to spare those that he cares about, but he should know that the others aren’t exactly weak and fragile. Jonah would be super frustrated by this (like in part 23 of his own route), and he’ll try to help his King in whatever way he can.

Edgar: his shadiness oof. Like, at first you think that he can be trusted, and then you think that he can’t, but in the end you find out you actually can. He’s like an inverted oreo: white on the outside, black on the inside, but actually still white deep down inside. Being the honest person he is, Jonah probably struggled with Edgar’s personality at first. But they’ve known each other since they were children so Jonah probably got used to it over time.

Zero: you know what? After mulling over this for ages, I can’t actually think of any of Zero’s flaws. He’s literally the goodest boi in Ikerev.  

Kyle: his insensitivity to others’ emotions. He cannot read the atmosphere most times and he’s also one of the most emotionally clumsy people in the game (afsdfdf he’s adorable). However, Jonah is the type of person who needs to be handled with care, since he’s not the most emotionally able person ever. It would’ve definitely rubbed Jonah the wrong way at first, but just like how it was with Edgar, Jonah probably got used to it over time.

Harr: his unfrienliness probably. He’s literally the nicest person once you get to know him, but the emphasis is on once you get to know him. Unfortunately, not a lot of people have that privilege, and this is even before he became the infamous Joker. He’s just naturally introverted and aloof. Actually, pre-Joker!Harr reminded me of Jonah, because they’re equally tsundere and bad with expressing their feelings. Apparently Harr and Jonah didn’t get along great tho, so maybe Jonah doesn’t like to see his own personality reflected in others.

Loki: he’s a bit too clingy and has a tiny bit of yandere-ish tendencies (though I wouldn’t consider him as a yandere). Jonah would understand the clinginess to those he cares about (he’s the cling of hearts for a reason guys), and he could probably understand Loki’s desire to hold on tightly to people that are important to him.

Blanc: he’s a jerk because he’s only giving us glimpses of his backstory without any clarification and it makes me want to tear my hair out. Jonah is gonna march up to Cybird HQ and demand a route for Blanc.

Oliver: in Ikerev TW, one of his descriptions was “毒舌” and it literally means “poisonous tongue,” which describes Oliver pretty well. I get that some people are pretty attracted by his quick wit, but generally speaking, insulting someone every other sentence isn’t exactly a good habit to have. But like, just imagine Oliver and Jonah getting into an argument. Idek who’s gonna win.

NOTE: I don't really know that much about the next three suitors (Mousse, Dean, and Dalim), so I'll have to make my best guess about their flaws. If their route comes out (goodness knows when that'll be), I'll come back and see if I've got anything wrong!

Mousse: definitely his sleepiness and tendency to fall asleep in places other than his bedroom. I totally understand the desire to sleep all day every day, but I can see why it’d be super annoying. At any rate, Jonah certainly seems to think so, since he abhors laziness and Mousse is pretty much the epitome of laziness (unless it comes down to the things that he like, and then he turns super energetic).

Dean: his cruel and unusual ways of punishment that’s referenced many times throughout the series??? I don’t know much about him tbh (sorry to all the Dean stans!!!). Jonah has never complained about it (or even mentioned Dean at all), but he must’ve been Jonah’s teacher during some point in the Ikerev universe, especially considering that Jonah and Harr were in the same grade and Dean makes an appearance in Harr’s Class Companions event route.

Dalim: probably that he’s overly-dedicated to those he’s loyal to. Dalim knows that Amon is not a good person and what he’s doing is very wrong, but he still does Amon’s bidding because he is a firm believer in Amon supremacy. However, he has tried to save Cradle on multiple occasions, so I guess that makes up for it. In fact, I think that Jonah would actually appreciate this flaw, because he’s just as dedicated to Lancelot as Dalim is to Amon, and they both tried to intervene when they believed that their King/Lord was up to something bad.

THIS FOLLOWING PART IS FROM @theboredhawk!!!

You could also say that one of Dean's more obvious flaws is that he's very blunt. While he's a smooth talker when it's convenient for him, more often than not he doesn't sugar coat his words when he's pointing out other people's flaws.He says it like it is. This might lead to Jonah being offended on more than one occasion. On the other hand, i don't think Jonah likes Dalim's debauchery. He might think that he fools around too much. He might've chastised him at some point, but gave up when he saw that he wasn't listening. Dalim is hard to tame. There were a few times when he didn't listen to Amon's orders and he also did that thing at the end of Ray's ttlg route which proved that he's not as loyal to his lord as he seems.

BONUS:

Jonah: Jonah literally stated himself that he knows how reckless and stubborn he is, but he doesn’t have any intentions of changing that. And I just. That’s actually such a strong thing to do??? He legit accepts himself as he is without trying to change anything about the way he is. Self-acceptance level 10/10.

[bardicindignation]

Reasons Why the Master Should've Been the Timeless Child

Okay, so I was re-watching some Doctor Who the other day, and I got to thinking about all of the problems I had with Chibnall's writing with the Master (rip Missy's excellent character development) and the whole 'Timeless Child' thing in general. And then it occurred to me that it would make way more sense (and, in my opinion, far more compelling) if the Master had been the Timeless Child instead of the Doctor.

and then I talked to @rhea-imagined about it and decided that I would make my first attempt and a semi-coherent meta post:

It would make the Master going absolutely apeshit and destroying all of Gallifrey even after all of the progress Missy had made make, just, so much more sense

Ruth and the whole 'past regenerations that the Doctor doesn't remember' thing can totally stay. Maybe the Doctor was one of the original Timelords to receive regenerations but didn't know where they'd come from. They find out and, being themself, rescue the Master, steal a Tardis and run away.

That could go a long way to explaining why the timelords hate them so much, plus the whole "wanted for a bunch of crimes thing" bc god knows the Time Lords wouldn't let them go easily and wouldn't put setting the Judoon on the Doctor beyond them at all. Plus, it's the Doctor, so they're running into all sorts of trouble along the way anyhow

(just now realizing that, technically, this would make the Master the Doctor's first companion, which is extremely funny)

And the Doctor and the Master spend who knows how long running from Gallifrey, planet to planet, world to world, causing and solving problems in equal measure, and they're the best (and most chaotic of course) of friends

and the Master still chooses the name Master, but it's really short for (or else it just doesn't quite come across in translation) 'Master-of-One's-Own-Fate'

But then the timelords catch up, and it's over. But the Master is so important, and the Doctor so brilliant (and therefore useful, and also as leverage), that they can't just kill them and so they erase both of their memories entirely.

And all of this would go a long way to explaining the Doctor and the Master's relationship, as well as why the Master is Like That because

everything that happened would result in, just, an enormous amount of trauma: rage, hurt, fear, emotional pain, the whole kit and caboodle, which wouldn't necessarily go away with a memory wipe

what the memory wipe would do is take away any means that the Master would have had to deal with it: speaking from personal experience, it's almost impossible to deal with that kind of emotion in any kind of constructive way if you have no idea why you're feeling it

So what you end up with is a genius (who, to be honest, might not have been the most stable of beings before the memory wipe) with a near-bottomless well of all of that mess of emotion and trauma with no direction for it whatsoever. Add to that the High Council electing to send back the signal to save Gallifrey and driving the Master mad at age eight...yeah, they pretty much screwed the Master (and themselves, and the Doctor) over with that one, on top of all the other ways they'd already been screwed over

So: insane, incredibly traumatized genius who's filled to the brim with rage with no direction. Why does he fixate on the Doctor? because of their interactions in the past:

He loves the doctor because they were friends, and the doctor tried SO HARD to save him, and he HATES the Doctor because the doctor should be able to save him, should KNOW and UNDERSTAND him better than anyone and it's like they don't REMEMBER HOW

(Which, of course, isn't rational, because them getting caught wasn't the doctor's fault, and it's not the doctor's fault that they don't remember anything, but, again, if you don't know why you feel something you can't cope with it, suss it out and deal with it)

and then meanwhile, you've got the Doctor, who's also got an unhealthy dose of trauma from everything just, perhaps, somewhat less severe, and they haven't been driven insane by the drums.

What the Doctor's got is this perpetual feeling of guilt for failing the Master, even when stuff happens that isn't in any way shape or from their fault, or even having anything to do with them, because they tried SO HARD in that past life to save them, and it didn't work. Helloooo, guilt complex (that they probably already had, this just makes it worse)

(Also goes a long way to explain the whole insane amount of mercy and forgiveness and love the doctor had for the master)And so, even when the Master becomes Missy and the madness is gone, there's still that rage, and still with no direction, because she CANT REMEMBER so she takes it out on what she always does: that which is important to the doctor

Which, incidentally, is WHY the whole basement imprisonment stuff was beginning to work, because Missy was finally starting to figure out that she isn't actually angry with the doctor at all, doesn't hate them

also, I'd like to think, that after the Master finds out the truth, the whole O thing, would have gone VERY differently

Like, still would've been a total shitshow, but maybe not so much with the world domination and they trying to kill the doctor and her friends because he's finally found where his anger actually goes (and had already begun to figure out where it DOESN'T while he was Missy)

(He still doesn't explain anything useful, bc he still (rather pettily) hates that the doctor forgot and wants her to figure it out herself, rip)

And maybe, when the Master is the timeless child, he doesn't burn all of Galiffrey. Maybe he leaves the civilians, the ones who aren't time lords, who didn't know, didn't benefit the way the Time Lords did. Maybe he leaves the children, who didn't know better, because he's seen what these people DO to children, and its not their fault. Maybe he leaves the Doctor's adopted family and any of their kids/grandkids who are still alive, bc they always cared for them, both of them, and they never knew either

Maybe he only burns the old, callous, cowardly and cruel timelords who got them into this damn mess in the first place and did nothing to fix it, those high handed bastards who would have seen him and the doctor utterly destroyed and gladly profited from their pain

(maybe he waits for the Doctor to figure stuff out, and they make a bonding experience out of blowing up the Citadel or something and then leave again. If Romana's still around, she can be in charge lol.)

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[randomnameless]

I forgot to comment :(

I keep remembering Ingrid is dead 😭 And we forced Shamir to join us by threatening Catherine 😭

Keep remembering then, because those plot points will be, uh, totally relevant later on. I mean, as relevant as anything can be in a BE route.

Why, though? Edelgard just said in her support with Balthus she intends to conquer all of Fodlan. Does she see Claude as the least threatening? I’d like to know why Claude thinks it’s a good idea too.

No she’s just after Rhea!!!

Given how Claude accepted to side with her - instead of being folded - it seems like a good move on her part, but remember who we’re talking about, the lady only had one supply line :)

I’m having Shez be such an ass. He turned down sparing with Holst and made things awkward.

Holtz is a disappointment looks and character wise, so I don’t think Shez is being an ass here lol

Edelgard just called it an “invasion” too. So at least she’s honest.

But only because they took RhEa in bcs she’s BaD and the reason why the war started!!!

Surprisingly enough, this isn’t only parroted by die hard edelstans :(

I love how Hubert is spinning Dimitri wiping out the Western lords as some evil thing. But, like, those people organized a genocide.

When it comes from Hubert, it’s hilarious because Papa Vestra was killed off-screen for, uh, reasons we will never know, and we’re not supposed to care. I love how Hubert brings out the double standard in his routes (remember the Dimitri BaD in CF bcs he didn’t came to salute them before fighting to their deaths in Tailtean?) - but if he is the one supposed to play it straight, the game didn’t get the memo that, hey, it’s Hubert. He isn’t supposed to be the most, uh, neutral narrator out there!

Claude, Edelgard, Linhardt and just about everyone else is bemoaning all the people who are going to die in the war. for daring to … defend their lives But my girl Dorothea is the only one who seems to realize that her side is the cause of the bloodshed. Not the people who would never have to fight if Edelgard didn’t force them too.

Mhh. Did you get her support with her beloved leader?

“When people think someone is after what the possess, they respond with fear - even if the thought is all in their head.” - Ferdinand. Except, it’s not?

Ferdie and Caspar were really butchered to make sense in Nopes as characters who cannot defect, so now Ferdie acts like, say, someone making statements that are completely wrong about everything.

IIRC he has a line in the game where he mentions the Kingdom values CrEsTs more than the Empire, and that’s why there are more crested generals/peons in the Kingdom than in the Empire... Except that someone compiled the data for the npcs, and lo, the Empire still has more npcs/generals with crests than the Kingdom lol.

Edelgard openly wants to rule their lands with absolute authority. She’s already stolen everything from one of her enemies, why should the Kingdom believe they wouldn’t get the same treatment Rhea did?

I will not spoil, but... no, I won’t spoil!

I wish the game would make it clear what Edelgard would do to Dimitri and co if they did surrender. Because, like, does anyone really think Hubert would leave them alive? Or Edelgard for that matter? If she wants to rule the Kingdom, Dimitri and most of the Blue Lions would HAVE to die. Wouldn’t she throw Dimitri and his supporters out of their homes and replace them with Empire nobility at best? It’s not in their heads.

This made me think, in CF, Edel specifically asks for Dimitri’s death.

Hey, at least this is the first interesting thing that’s happened in SB since the prologue lamo. I hope it’s not just back to CF now except Claude is now Edelgard’s toady.

Mmh.

The ending is particulary awesome too, very shonen-esque.

Weird support. Ferdinand is getting respected and admired by a Black Eagle instead of being the butt monkey. Caspar is thinking and questioning having something in his life other than furthering his reputation via killing people. I like it.

Well... Given how Caspar was retconned to be the dumb bloodthirsty muscle, this support sort of works, even if I suppose it would also have worked in FE16, but with a different setting.

He wants to defend Edelgard because her promoting him changed his life.

Remember how he sort of chewed her out for starting her war in the C support? But now, Shez only looks after his own hide and thanks her for giving him a promotion. It’s way more down to earth and sort of materialistic, but Shez is Shez.

I’d like to hear your opinions about him when you’ll finish all routes!

Sorry, but this was boring af. Never thought I’d say that about a Hubert support.

Imagine if Hapi discovered Hubie was in cahoots with Cordelia, who experimented on her - oh wait, this is a BE route.

Instead of tackling the elephant in the room, let’s talk about coffee instead.

I honestly really don’t like CF!Caspar, but SB!Caspar seems even worse, like he’s just his dad’s little killing-happy puppet.

When you remember in FE16 his paralogue was all about him leeroy jenkins against the Death Knight, who captures and kills (?) young ladies - Caspar used to be the stupid shonen sidekick raving about justice (remember his catherine support?) but now he dgaf and wants to kill with daddy. Yay.

Have you done their paralogue? It’s very, uh, interesting meritocracy wise.

Randolph is still a little shit. He WANTS to invade the Alliance. IDK, I just cannot fathom wanting something like that of any country let alone an ally

Randy is a weird case, we hear all those things about how great and nice he is supposed to be, but when we see him, he wants to invade his allies, and disses on Edel’s army that is made up of commoners...

Lamo, Edelgard literally just said might makes right.

What can you expect from #Nemesisdidnothingwrong and #Nemesiswasachampionofhumanity ? Might makes right was his motto (completely with the hypocrisy of defeating a sleeping/comatose Sothis, but hey)

Hilda legit just asked Claude why he’s made a strategy that limits casualties. Are people from Faerghus the only ones who don’t love killing people? She is doubting the Empire at least. She really doesn’t like Edelgard, lol.

Eh, Hilda is a character that is... complicated, to say the least.

She is doubting the Empire, so that’s cookie points for her, but wondering why Claude is limiting casualties... is it because she doesn’t care about other people dying? I think it’s developed in one of her supports, but I’ll wait until you unlock them in GW!

Not seeing Ingrid with the others hurts. They’re really out here just trying to stop everyone else from trying to murder them

#toxicmasculinity #chivalrybad

They’re BaD for not accepting Adrestian rule!

See this is why Dimitri’s the best one - “The old ways must die - with that I agree. But shove that down the people’s throats, and you risk breaking the very land you’re trying to rule.”

To some people, this line means Dimitri doesn’t want to change the status quo thus is centrist, or some other thing.

But it takes an entire new meaning when we realise Dimitri might be talking about Lambert, he died because he tried to push reforms, and some people in Faerghus planned for a regicide, effectively breaking the land (until he came)...

Anyways, Faerghus BaD. Don’t forget it, it’ll be important later on in this route!

I’m guessing Jeralt gives Byleth his sword in every route

:)

Let’s say Good Ol’Jerry forgot to return Rhea’s sword when he bailed out some years ago.

I can’t imagine this is going to be anything but nauseating.

:(

Ohhh, wow, they really went there. Edelgard tells Monica to her face that she only rescued Monica because it suited her, didn’t plan on it, and would let Monica die if it helped her goals.

And of course, just like in CF, when she reveals she had been using people and planned on letting them die to reach her goals, she is met with opposition, distrust, anger and maybe people bailing out on her?

Learning this changes exactly nothing about Monica.

At this point idk if it’s a thing about Monica, or the games not being able to write a character being angry at Edel and having face the consequences or backlash of her own actions without Hubert acting as a proxy

In case you didn’t read my GW reaction, I was quite pleased to see Byleth actually pissed about someone almost hurt their dad given how little they ask Edelgard about her involvement in that in CF.

That’s why I was talking about with the “Hubert proxy”, Edel promises Billy to tell them more about the agarthans, but it’s Hubert who does, in his paralogue. Not Edel, never her, of course :)

The Byleth plot is very interesting, as you might see in other routes, because it opens another can of worms that was, sort of, retconned in FE Heroes!

I love how they go from celebrating the deaths of Faerghus to lamenting their own loses, without any acknowledgment that THEY are responsible for all of this or that the people they killed were just as “alive” as they are.

:)

:’)

Scarlet Blaze Ch 10

I don't remember if there's 13, 14, or 15 chapters per route in this game, but here we go with SB Ch 10.

STORY

I keep remembering Ingrid is dead 😭 And we forced Shamir to join us by threatening Catherine 😭

Oh, boy, Claude just became Edelgard's bitch boy. Can't say I didn't suspect this.

Why, though? Edelgard just said in her support with Balthus she intends to conquer all of Fodlan. Does she see Claude as the least threatening? I'd like to know why Claude thinks it's a good idea too.

So I take it this time Claude is getting shoe-horned into Edelgard's story rather than Byleth's? I wonder if we'll see this in AG and GW too. Or if it'll be a bit different.

I'm having Shez be such an ass. He turned down sparing with Holst and made things awkward.

Is Claude still king in this route?

"We'll be invading Fraldarius" no 😭😭.

Edelgard just called it an "invasion" too. So at least she's honest.

I love how Hubert is spinning Dimitri wiping out the Western lords as some evil thing. But, like, those people organized a genocide.

DOROTHEA, my beloved!!! THANK GOD.

Claude, Edelgard, Linhardt and just about everyone else is bemoaning all the people who are going to die in the war. for daring to . . . defend their lives But my girl Dorothea is the only one who seems to realize that her side is the cause of the bloodshed. Not the people who would never have to fight if Edelgard didn't force them too.

"Whatever our intent, we're the instigators here. We can't expect the enemy to do anything less than defend their land with tooth and claw." Dorothea is queen. A hypocrite, but at least the game realizes who's really at fault.

"When people think someone is after what the possess, they respond with fear - even if the thought is all in their head." - Ferdinand. Except, it's not?

Edelgard openly wants to rule their lands with absolute authority. She's already stolen everything from one of her enemies, why should the Kingdom believe they wouldn't get the same treatment Rhea did? I wish the game would make it clear what Edelgard would do to Dimitri and co if they did surrender. Because, like, does anyone really think Hubert would leave them alive? Or Edelgard for that matter? If she wants to rule the Kingdom, Dimitri and most of the Blue Lions would HAVE to die. Wouldn't she throw Dimitri and his supporters out of their homes and replace them with Empire nobility at best? It's not in their heads.

Hey, at least this is the first interesting thing that's happened in SB since the prologue lamo. I hope it's not just back to CF now except Claude is now Edelgard's toady.

CASPAR & FERDINAND A SUPPORT

Ok guys, for anyone who's curious, this is where I picked up after finishing FE Engage. Feels a lot less daunting knowing I'm already a good numbers of ch into every route.

Weird support. Ferdinand is getting respected and admired by a Black Eagle instead of being the butt monkey. Caspar is thinking and questioning having something in his life other than furthering his reputation via killing people. I like it.

Ferdie called himself a master of none and admired Caspar back.

LINHARDT & DOROTHEA A SUPPORT

Wasn't this B support the one where we learned Edelgard had a single sole supply line? Lamo.

Dorothea's not going to keep taking notes for Linhardt lol.

She got hurt, so Linhardt took notes for her. She's surprised, but pleased.

She told him he had his own charm, and he's like "please, no." I love him.

I don't think this support really showed a new side to the characters, though. It felt like an emptier version of their OG one.

SHEZ & EDELGARD B SUPPORT

Shez wants her to trust him. She says she does now.

He feels purposeless and wants to be her bodyguard.

Lamo, one of Shez's response options is "stand there slack-jawed." I forgot how much I liked Shez.

He wants to defend Edelgard because her promoting him changed his life.

HUBERT & HAPI A SUPPORT

Hapi is trying to make nice with Hubert.

They're bonding over coffee.

Now they're having coffee and talking about it. I'm more of a tea person, tbh.

Sorry, but this was boring af. Never thought I'd say that about a Hubert support.

CAMP + SIDE BATTLES

Dimitri took Cornelia down in this route too. Badass.

Ashe is so miserable, poor dude. Mercie isn't happy either.

I honestly really don't like CF!Caspar, but SB!Caspar seems even worse, like he's just his dad's little killing-happy puppet.

Randolph is still a little shit. He WANTS to invade the Alliance. IDK, I just cannot fathom wanting something like that of any country let alone an ally.

Lamo, Edelgard literally just said might makes right.

Shit, I just remembered that Ingrid's dead in this timeline.

Hilda legit just asked Claude why he's made a strategy that limits casualties. Are people from Faerghus the only ones who don't love killing people? She is doubting the Empire at least. She really doesn't like Edelgard, lol.

Not seeing Ingrid with the others hurts. They're really out here just trying to stop everyone else from trying to murder them.

See this is why Dimitri's the best one - "The old ways must die - with that I agree. But shove that down the people's throats, and you risk breaking the very land you're trying to rule." If Edelgard had her way, there'd be nothing left to rule except the Empire.

Yeah, the reason you can't work with the Empire, Dimitri, is that Edelgard wants to rule all of Fodlan. Her alliance with Claude has made it really clear that the Empire still intends a hostile take over of even their own allies. Which, honestly, I do appreciate SB for being a bit more honest than CF.

I really don't want to fight Rodrigue. I do think it's funny that your enemy always hires Jeralt though.

I'm guessing Jeralt gives Byleth his sword in every route.

SHEZ & BERNADETTA B SUPPORT

Starts with her screaming and shrieking about something.

Anna showed up! She's selling something to Bernadetta that will help her with her shyness. Also sells her something shifty. Or tries. Because Bernadetta assumes Anna's up to no good (probably true) and buys nothing.

Shez calls her judgmental lol. He's not wrong.

BERNADETTA & FERDINAND C SUPPORT

This is their only support. Kinda weird given their past history.

She's eating plants. Ferdinand is concerned she's eating bad stuff. Ferdinand wants to have a competition over who collects the most edible plants.

Poor Bernie. His "competition" really reminded me of those guys who are like "oh, prove it, name xxx!" when I say I like this sport or that fandom because I must be lying to impress them or some shit. (except I don't think Ferdie is being sexist here, just annoying af).

Bernie gets hurt and one of Ferdie's plants can help fix it.

Also, he lost.

EDELGARD & MONICA B SUPPORT

I can't imagine this is going to be anything but nauseating.

Haha, Edelgard just said in another world they may have lost Monica forever (to TWSITD).

Edelgard says she only saved Monica because it was the best move lol. And like, we know this is actually true because, well . . .

Ohhh, wow, they really went there. Edelgard tells Monica to her face that she only rescued Monica because it suited her, didn't plan on it, and would let Monica die if it helped her goals.

I know a lot of times people play off Edelgard's harshness as "oh, she's just insecure and saying that!" But here you can't really make that argument because it happens in Houses lamo.

She literally didn't rescue Monica because she needed TWSITD soldiers.

Learning this changes exactly nothing about Monica.

It added some stuff to Edelgard, but Monica is still horribly one-note.

FERDINAND & DOROTHEA B SUPPORT

I know a lot of people like their Houses support chain, but I kinda don't? It's drama over something really silly.

Edelgard is here. Ugh. I want Dorothea, not her.

Oh, good grief, it's going to be about the same annoying thing. Ferdinand is remembering seeing Dorothea and being stunned by her beauty.

(like, imagine getting pissed off that someone stares at you when you're butt-ass naked in public and dripping wet)

Dorothea's a lot more reasonable this time, getting flustered hearing this.

MAIN BATTLE

Every time I log back into this, I remember that Ingrid's dead :(

Oh, God, please tell me that I'm not killing Rodrigue and Felix now.

They go from "oh, bummer, we have to kill people to! Let's go Empire!!!" Bit of a whiplash, but Dorothea's the only one who seems to realize they're killing people and not NPCs lamo.

Same conversation between Shez and Arval. Guessing I'll get it in AG when it's time for recruiting Byleth too.

Ok, like with Golden Wildfire, I'll try to unlock Byleth. But unlike with GW where I reset and tried a few times, I'm only trying once. Because I really want to finish this and get to other games. AG is the only route where I'll put in real effort to get Byleth because I care more about those characters getting a fully happy ending than the rest.

I think I failed again lol. It changed from a side goal to the main goal to fight Byleth. I didn't move around the map fast enough.

God, I love Rodrigue.

Rodrigue died. I'm guessing if I recruit Byleth, that doesn't change? How many other Blue Lions does SB force me to kill?

Cut scene time. So who dies in SB?

LAMO, it's Randolph. OFC it's Randolph. This guy is just allergic to surviving.

Is it bad I'm more upset that Rodrigue died? He's a WAYYYYY better person than Randolph.

In case you didn't read my GW reaction, I was quite pleased to see Byleth actually pissed about someone almost hurt their dad given how little they ask Edelgard about her involvement in that in CF.

I like how they expect us to care about Randolph. Like, Judith, makes sense. She's close to Claude. She's cool. Randolph is really unlikable and has no special connection to anyone except Fleche.

Does this mean Fleche will cause a level where she goes crazy against Byleth?

This conversation falls so flat compared to the GW one. Because in GW, you were talking to Claude. Here, it's . . . Fleche. In GW it was actually an emotional moment (and made me feel a bit guilty). Here, not so much.

I do feel bad for Byleth and Alois though.

Ok, the Sothis-Byleth merging happening.

I love how they go from celebrating the deaths of Faerghus to lamenting their own loses, without any acknowledgment that THEY are responsible for all of this or that the people they killed were just as "alive" as they are.

Haha, even SB lets you recognize that Randolph means very little personally to you or any of the main cast.

xxxxx

[joonkorre]

To my love,

@drarrymicrofic prompt: forbidden

read Paper Hearts by @dorthyanndrarry and have been completely obsessed w draco doing little mundane things as a hobby or bc it's therapeutic etc etc. i had to fold these paper cranes for an art project once. it's fucking addictive lmao. ao3

tw: very brief mention of blood

It’s just a thing Draco does when he’s bored. A past-time, or a hobby, even. If it’s past midnight and less tiring to be honest, he’d admit that it’s a coping method. But he never really feels like that as of late, as expected from a permanent resident in what is now the Dark Lord’s lair.

Light, clean air, silence, and Merlin knows what else, are lacking in abundance in the Malfoy Manor these days. However, with owl posts too easily intercepted and words too eagerly etched on skin rather than blank pages, paper is readily available. Draco has a lot of free time, being ‘Lucius’s worthless son’ and all. Thus, he writes.

Are you out there? How do you fare?

I haven’t eaten breakfast today. Perhaps I should’ve, but Nagini never leaves.

Will Harry Potter ever get caught?

I tried to go out today. Do you know how it feels to have blood drained from your feet?

Comments of nonsensical nature like so. They help, though. Draco doesn’t quite know the psychology behind it, but he can’t help writing them. A passing interest, then once every two weeks, then every other day, then any piece of paper he can find. Any piece large enough.

To my love,

That Luna girl cries again.

He doesn’t understand why—he’s never understood much, now that he thinks about it—but he’s taken to writing those three words before every message. It feels nice, he supposes, to pretend there’s someone who looks forward to reading his letters, regardless of how boring or awful they are. No matter, a tiny phrase never hurts anyone. He hopes. How many things (small, insignificant things) did he say that—?

To my love,

The last of Mother’s roses have faded to a dull grey. They used to be the color of lilac.

He’s used his wand as a light tonight, a whispered Lumos scarcely bright enough to write down a sentence and cut a strip of paper away, making a square. Familiar folds and creases give way easily beneath his calloused fingers in the dark. Feeling the precise pleats, he bends the wings, then pulls out the tail and the neck. He runs a finger down the neck’s tip. Its head is formed.

To my love,

Should I have killed him?

Cracking open the dirty window right beside his bed, the cool scent of fog and sleepy meadows wafts against his face. A gentle tap of his wand, and the paper crane floats away into the night with minute flaps of wings. Where is it going? He never knows. To his love?

To my love,

There’s a suitcase hidden inside my mattress, ready to go.

Draco closes the window and slides under the cover. Staring up at the swirling darkness of his canopy, he hopes the crane gets to, say, the nearby valley before descending.

To my love,

Let’s run away together.

The scenery is nice there, at least.

----

There’s an analogy to be made about shackles and penance and father’s sins. Draco wouldn’t know. He’s not in the right state of mind to ponder it.

A shame. It’d be nice if his last thought before the Kiss is something poetic.

“He was but a child,” he hears his mother scream. A deafening crash echoes throughout the vast space as her chains weigh more with each word spoken out of turn, forcing her to the dirty floor. “A child!”

Titters and jeers swell in the overheated courtroom. Draco shifts his neck against his collar, silent. Much herculean effort has to be made to ensure his legs are still, lest he rushes to his mother’s side and. Well. He doesn’t know if moving without permission also results in the same punishment. It’ll be improper to collapse in defeat before he’s supposed to: after the Dementor’s had its way with him.

He stands there, unable to do all but look at the particularly orange tile four paces from his position.

“Before Draco Malfoy is given the Dementor’s Kiss as punishment for his crimes, relatives and loved ones are now allowed to say their last words to him,” the Wizengamot judge whose name Draco has let slipped out of his mind in a daze says with a bored drawl.

“If Mrs. Malfoy had just waited for this announcement, she wouldn’t be in her… predicament,” he says, his ‘but what can I do?’ attitude spurring the courtroom to snickers. Draco asks himself, for a brief, horrid moment, if Fiendfyre can be called forth without a wand.

After the laughter has died down, the judge says, “Is there a relative or loved one here who has something to tell Draco Malfoy before we proceed?”

The only one in the vicinity is his mother, whose sobs are choked off by heavy chains. His father has fled. Probably died, too, bless him.

The judge doesn’t even let Draco finish taking a breath and continues, “Alright. Draco Malfoy, you—”

“Wait.”

All noises cease, leaving behind the squeaking of trainers against tiles. Draco doesn’t look up even as the sounds get closer to where he stands.

“Mr, Mr. Potter,” the judge stammers, “you are not Mr. Malfoy’s relative nor loved one.”

“We have history. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

Ratty trainers come into Draco’s field of vision. It’s already too late.

“I—yes, that should be enough, Mr. Potter.”

“Thought so.”

Potter’s presence covers up the especially orange tile, and now Draco can look nowhere else but at the many pockets of the man's olive green jacket. Lifting his head remains a horrible idea.

Nothing seems to move, then, even dust particles seem to pause mid-air. From what Draco can deduce, Potter is content to just stare at him for a bit.

“Thanks for helping me out that time,” Potter finally says. Draco doesn’t know what he wants him to say. That night was fucking hell on earth, he could barely remember it with how hard he blocks it out of his head. So what if he didn’t turn Potter in? What does it matter?

Draco stays silent, even as Potter rustles in his innumerable pockets and grumbles when he can’t seem to find what he’s searching for. Before Draco knows it, Potter hums in pleasant surprise.

“I want to give you something,” he says, holding the mystery object out in a closed fist. Draco frowns, tempted to let his face shift into something long-past and glare at the man in front of him. “Come, now, don’t be stubborn.”

Rolling his eyes, Draco reaches for the object, wrists aching from the iron bands, pulsating with heat. To his confusion, Potter covers Draco's hand with both of his. The man is a furnace, his palms possibly even warmer than the iron bands, the sensation sending volatile, feverish streaks of lightning up Draco’s arms. Potter then tucks an item into Draco’s hand, keeping his hands close by as Draco peers at what he is gifted. His eyes widen.

A paper crane.

Potter's left forearm shifts a bit, jostling the jacket sleeve and capturing Draco’s eyes. This can’t be right. Draco glances at Potter’s right arm and the visibly holstered wand that he always carries with him. Back to his left arm, where the head of another wand is but a hint in the shadow. Draco would’ve thought so as well, would’ve thought Potter is being cautious, if not for the instant familiarity striking him like an elbow to the throat.

His head whips up so quickly his neck strains within the collar. Knowing emerald eyes meet his gaze. “Potter, no.”

An eyebrow cocks up. “Did you not say you want to run away?” Potter whispers back. His fingers trail to the edge of Draco’s armbands like they’re trying to sneak under and touch bare skin.

Draco gasps. Nothing makes sense anymore, absolutely nothing at all.

But from the way the court is growing evidently agitated, from the way Potter doesn’t let them bother him one bit, from the way he waits, endlessly patient.

Potter might be the only one able to make sense of anything at all.

Draco leans a hair closer, so his voice is clear to no one but the two of them.

“My mother,” he says, watching Potter’s irises get swallowed up by pure black. “Remember what she did for you, Potter, please. She can’t stay here…”

Potter nods, promising a later date, that they will both get her. And Merlin help him, Draco trusts every word.

A chair tumbles onto the ground. Shouts explode into existence, footsteps thumping. Draco grips Potter’s left forearm as Potter’s wand effortlessly slides out of its holster into a waiting hand. The fizzling heat of hastily casted hexes slices through the air. With his mother’s shout of relief in his ears, Draco succumbs to the squeezing suffocation of Apparition.