#should it be behind a read more idk
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#magical girl#transformation sequence#body positive#fatphobia#comic#webtoon#[ar]: brawl!#eiri evans#seren#phookadrawsstuff#long post#should it be behind a read more idk
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THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.
some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.
i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent
potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.
i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.
every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible
this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.
idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual
goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.
every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.
ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:
this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.
i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.
once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.
wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.
in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this
anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic
#futaba gets a lot of my favourite punchlines because i love her. i think she's an incredible vessel for comedic timing#once again you can see how much i overthink everything#given the amount of thought that goes into character shit for what LOOKS like a stupid 3 second chatfic#but is really. a stupid 3 second chatfic with twenty years of overthinking behind it#it takes time and effort. to be this stupid#anyway i love sumi. i think she's so cute. i like her dynamic with the thieves so much#ive said it before but i think chatfic is one of those mediums that looks so deceptively simple because#you know it's just silly dialogue and memes. it's very accessible. anyone can write a funny chatfic#but i think it's such a character-forward 'genre' that it's really really difficult to do well in the sense that it feels like the characte#s you know and not just mouthpieces for memes with familiar names attached. so im kinda obsessed with the genre#it relies so heavily on every character having a distinctive voice without trying too hard to be unique#ideally you should be able to read one of these with no names attached ands till get a general sense of who's talking#without having to rely on liek (sorry) homestuck style quirks which make it visibly obvious#that' skinda hard because irl people's typing styles aren't THAT distinct you know. theres only so many variations#you can make to a person's use of grammar punctuation capitalisation etc before it becomes a gimmick instead of an idiosyncrasy#but hopefully if the character voice is strong enough their identtiy should come through more subtly anyway. idk .idk if im there but i lov#to work towards it#wow i wrote anothr essay in the tags about my love for Modern Epistolary Fiction (chatfic)#after already writing a whole essay in the post#i mgonna shut up guys thanks for having me#rookfic#asks#p5#rookthots
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“You know, if you break up with Sveta, meet a gorgeous girl and break Sveta’s heart again, I’m obligated to throw you into the center of the Atlantic Ocean.”
....What does this mean Vicky? He's not allowed to date anyone pretty ever again???
#wormblr#parahumans#ward lb#I'm just missing something right?#I get that she's trying to be a good friend after Weld put her in a shitty situation#but this feels insane#I'm sad they aren't working out#but it's also sort of a valid plotline to exlpore idk#glad this was spoiled for me so I wasn't blindsided and upset by it#I also only read more because I was waiting in line alone for a long time and this was the only thing I thought my phone could handle#I really should just give up on it#but man I want to see the terrible bits people are talking about#I just wish the bad (funny and ridiculous) parts weren't behind all the bad (really boring) parts or the bad (annoying) parts
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"no mental disorder makes you a bad person" is very very true and a good statement to promote, but "if someone does something bad, they must've chosen do it, there's never any other possible explanation, and it's especially never b/c of any mental disorders" isn't true?? besides the fact that people can make honest mistakes (even big ones) without realizing what they're doing, or the fact that life circumstances can influence what choices someone even thinks are available to them in the first place, my hot take is that mental disorder can influence you to do bad things sometimes and that should be acknowledged.
that does NOT mean a person with a disorder would be a special extra evil kind of abuser compared to a neurotypical person (ie "narcissist abuse" is still a meaningless and harmful term). it also does not mean that abusers are more likely to have a disorder than to be neurotypical. but disorders are disabling, they cause disorder, it's right in the name, they negatively affect you and your connection to others... why do you think that wouldn't that affect your behavior too sometimes? I know my disorders affect mine. often in negative ways!
besides just "mental disorders are never disabling in ways that make me feel uncomfortable" being ableist, understanding this is important if you believe in prison abolition (which you should). "someone did something bad because they randomly chose to be bad idk" is just as unhelpful as "someone did something bad because they were born bad". but "someone did something bad because of X thing they're struggling with, or their Y need is unmet" is helpful, that's something you can work with and fix. integrate this into your anarchist worldview.
and lastly, tbh it's isolating to have "scary" or "bad" symptoms, and then get told by armchair "mental health advocates" online that you're just choosing to have those symptoms and maybe you could be a better person if you simply chose to stop having mental illness in the first place. so you know, don't be fucking rude lol
#some of this wording is probably clunky from an anti-psych lens#but heres my morning soapbox#🙈 READING COMPREHENSION CHECK ✅:#Q: ''so you think all abusers are helpless babies that should be coddled?'' A: no. but behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum -#- and this post is about more than just ''abusers'' specifically#Q: '' so you think abusers should go unpunished?'' A: by our current definition at least yeah. also maybe yeah in general idk. -#- I'm a prison abolitionist; including involuntary hospital confinement. there's better options out there than torturing people.#Q: ''why are you sympathizing with abusers?!?!'' A: you have more in common with ''abusers'' than you think -#- and until you accept that; you're never going to escape the ''good person vs bad person'' false dichotomy.#Q: ''what's even the point of this post?'' A: the point is that mental illness/disorder is not always harmless or something that -#- only affects the person experiencing it and your discourse should make room for this fact instead of ignoring it -#- in favor of the easier feel-good arguments that leave more stigmatized experiences behind.
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text (i can't put read-mores anymore without preface text, is why there's something here always)
i feel like there's a switch in my brain that gets flipped every other day that just has flipping between "i'm okay, i can just bide my time the next (hopefully only) four years, i'm somewhere that at least state-wise is protective, i won't have it as bad as everyone else, it's going to be fine. i have my small community in the form of my friends if nothing else, and i have at least One friend irl who is pretty supportive and protective, even if the world around me is going to fall apart i won't be alone in it and it might fall apart less for me personally so maybe i shouldn't be so negative" or "i want to [----] myself, i'm sick and getting sicker, old and getting older and i can barely physically handle climate change right Now let alone how it'll worsen once environmental protection policies get cut, i'm in a city where racists are pretty bold and i'm already too afraid to leave my house, i'm going to have to watch people i love and care about and family in less safe states suffer even more, i'm going to watch the birds suffer, Why do i even Want to continue living this life because there's no Living to it as someone who is just a shut-in and now any small tentative hopes i had for a future in being more openly queer are Pretty Much Gone because i'm not strong enough to persist as myself in the current political environment"
every time i wake up. the smallest tinge of hope some mornings and then complete and utter hopelessness other mornings, and it's exhausting. i never really think about the future much because i always expect to die before i get there but it's been especially hard to grapple with the fact that the one time i started to (within the past year) it immediately went to shit.
i still really don't know what to do, for myself or for others, and i think the answer might really just be Nothing and that's. hard. as it stands though i am still clinging to rain world dlc release date as at least a Gotta Get This Far marker and just crossing my fingers something else is dangled in front of my brain like a horse and a carrot that'll help me continue to push myself forward
#negative/vent#ideation warning#jic#To Preface i am still not an active risk that tag is so people can judge if they're in a mindset to read under the cut or not#and just in case it needs to be said: these aren't for like. Attention either#sometimes yelling into a void (ie behind a read more) where maybe someone can relate or feel less alone or Whatever helps#i earnestly do not care or mind if you do or don't read my personal posts#i would journal but i found that journaling is actually just a way for me to spiral Extremely fast and a lot of the times my#personal journals devolve into 'you should kys actually' so i just Do Not anymore#like in a journal i can write myself into a pit for literal hours because there's nothing stopping me but some Read More on tumblr is just#vomit up a few emotions and then step away from the internet and if i type too much tumblr will bug out and refuse to post or save it#also too it does provide a small paper trail of sorts for like. if i seem suddenly Not Social friends that follow me can check my blog#or whatever and be like oh okay ev's Fine just having a hard time#idk! idk idk my point is These Are For Me and sometimes they can help friends understand certain things about me a bit more but ultimately#you do not have to read them! especially if you are not in a mindspace to do so!#i would hate if my personal posts ever actively bogged someone down so please do not read if that's a risk#and last note: sorry if these personal posts change the way you see me if you do read them#like if u ever had an opinion of me that was more than just Depressed Loser :')
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One of the saddest things I've come to realize about RWBY is that its characters are defined more by what they aren't than what they are
#rwde#weiss says she's not her father and she won't run the company like he does when she gets it#but there's not even a hint as to what she plans to do w it once she has it#if you want to show her growth as a character then her plans for the sdc are an absolute must#start her out as v business minded by solely number crunching and focusing on networking#then have her learn more abt the harm the sdc has done to make her switch focus to more humanitarian practices#maybe even wanting to abolish the company wholesale#blakes the most egregious example imo#there is not a single instance of someone arguing *for* peaceful protest. it's always *against* violent protest#which are v different things#its esp bad when you've read the comics where blake and adam are liberating people from literal cages#'what abt the crew members :(' idk blake what abt the slaves youre abandoning by fleeing to beacon?#why should we care abt workers - that we never actually see mind you- who are complicit in slavery?#even worse#WE NEVER SEE ANY CHARACTERS ACTUALLY PERFORMING PEACEFUL PROTEST#theres the flashback and the newsclip from v1 and thats IT#a past event and noise filler#riveting#im for violent protest wholesale but i still understand the merit of peaceful protest#theres actual strategy behind it that isnt purely playing into respectability politics#but youd never know that by watching this show bc peaceful protest is never a focus. it's only anti violence#and not even any good arguments even tho there are plenty to use#esp none in a world thats built around violence due to the man eating monsters roaming round#do we ever see diplomacy actually work in rwby?? i cant think of a genuine moment of solid conflict that isnt resolved w a gunblade#rwby is a fighting action show so on its premise alone it cant avoid fights#so arguing 'violence is bad :(' is doubly stupid#anyway this essay is kicking my ass almost as thoroughly as my life#words are hard#writing them down is even harder#i have like 5 different openings to the section abt this v thing and i cant figure out wtf im doing
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Hello this is a call for help by which i mean does anybody have any good ekurei fics??? Most of what I found on ao3 was either in a foreign language or weird porn and I'm losing hope seeing as there are around 400 fics total
#ultimately maybe idk where to look for stuff#screaming crying throwing up but in a bad way#i dont even care if its with the security guard at this point bro just ANYTHING decent#ive only ever read fics that were reccomended by somebody else and this is the first time i venture into the mp100 ao3 tag and. hooo boy#IK IK i should add more specific tags prolly my searches are always pretty general its why i find the weird shit so easily#but i dont recall it being this bad for other fandoms. tried going through recent and there was so much re¡mob like fking hell#ITS 100 FICS BEHIND SERIREI NO WAYYYYYY#also ekurei is barely 100 above incest.... this is the wrong timeline jfc#neighbours are also being obnoxious and i cannot sleep this night is AWFUL#mp100#mob psycho 100#ekurei#ekubo#arataka reigen#mp100 dimple#send help i am in NEED#cine te a intrebat
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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😐🥲
#i...#i went back and read some of the comments on 'One More Tomorrow'#ya know the long multi chapter pokkopiku fic i wrote back in 2018/2019#and there's surprisingly a good amount of readers who... want me to continue it.. 🥲🫨🤕#i really want to continue it!!!!!#but its been sooooo long!!!! 😭#would there be enough readership for it now??#idk like I'm conflicted 😭😭😭#i mean... i guess if enough people really reallly reallyyy want me to finish it...#like if enough peeps rally behind me continuing it... 😭😭#then... i suppose i oughtta 🫨#I've finished multi chapter fics before... so i know i have it in me!!!#took me like 3 years to finish my valeveira fic lmao but the readers were supportive and patient 🥲#i just need time!! im SORRY!!!!#believe me i wanna give porco closure and give pieck all the orgasms lmaoooo 😭😭😭#well porco gives her the sex#ya know what i mean :/#should i make a poll? take a vote???#are we doing this old school like signing a petition??#idk sometimes i go back and forth with it lol#is OMT even any good??😭😭#idk i gotta lotta pkpk feels with snk ending soon#and my love for the ship and the characters and the fic has never wavered!!!!#its late lol too many thoughts abt this 🤕
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Issue 69 (nice) is very good and very fun :]
#ramblings#idw sonic spoilers#i knew the phantom rider was gonna be sonic#didn't expect sonic tails and amy to be disqualified first tho#but it makes things more interesting#having to work with eggman to get sonic back in the race in some way#and figure out what's going on behind the scenes#i like it! i like how they're handling this sort of non-mystery#where the readers know what's going on but the characters don't#so we get a cool spectacle out of them figuring it out while racing and stuff#also ppl are already arguing abt lanolin being kind of a bitch#as if that wasn't an already established character flaw lmao#i think her not caring so much abt the ppl around her (or at least not showing it) makes her more interesting to read abt#and i like the drama#now this isn't related to the issue itself but now i kinda don't know how i'm gonna tackle this arc in my rp blog#i think i'm gonna wait until all the issues are out so there's not a month's wait for events that happen in the span of a few days#but like. idk if i wanna have livewire actually participating or just watching#also i can feel myself losing steam running the blog again#like it's stopped getting any attention and the same thing that happened before is happening again#so like. idk if i should keep going with it at all?#idk idk anyways that's not relevant to the issue. it was good i liked it and can't wait to see where the arc goes 👍
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“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”
#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees#or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk#and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’#nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’#‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’#so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’#then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out#when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed#with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora#and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft#cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse#plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other#and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such…#or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be…#but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi????#and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing#like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’#or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg#i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er#this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells#it is suiyoubi my dudes#the dude from gamushara
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messing around a bit
#delete later#man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird#trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg#shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me#should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔#still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess#just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made.#im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony#well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole#even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw#actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself#but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate#hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week#man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay#hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini#masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh#ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini#aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr#me when i have to do my job at work#i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower#sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit
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fandom is fun until people find out that *gasp* it's inevitable that others will disagree with their takes and interpretation
#personal rant#honestly i've seen more posts about people talking about the 'discourse' than the discourse itself#i dont even know what's the current discourse we're talking about#and im okay with that#idk i see a take i dont agree with and i simply move on#but sometimes people are going to want to discuss these takes#and that's not inherently wrong. that's how we learn#by reading about different perspectives an opinions and coming to our own#as long as both parties are respectful it shouldnt feel like an attack on anyone????#st is really some people's first fandom and it shows#im talking about real analysis and discussions tho#not the ridiculous “adults shouldnt partake in fandom”#which is so dumb considering fandom spaces were created by adults for adults#this doesnt mean we should never listen to kids' opinions.#just as they shouldnt be able to say ANYTHING with no consequences. hidding behind 'but im a minor so you cant disagree with me'#'and if you do you're silencing me and are a bad weird person!!!!'#anyway#moving on
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The hypocritical dichotomy of “I have the right to separate myself from those who have hurt me, I hold no obligation to them or to the connections we once had” and “I will hold the people who have hurt me personally accountable for the pain they have caused me and prioritize myself above their feelings” is the kind of thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and start biting people
#this is about ‘going no contact’ with family members in case you couldn’t tell#i understand that the terrible things tend to float to the surface of the internet#and garner the most attention therefore getting the most upvotes and likes and highest priority on the youtube algorithm#but every time i read or hear a story about someone cutting their parents out of their life#i literally don’t know how to respond#like on the one hand yes its importnat to keep yourself safe#and if you are in an unsafe situation you should 100% remove yourself#but don’t act like you’re not also causing damage#if you’re upset with your parent/s for causing you damage by prioritizing their feelings/needs/wants/etc over yours#then doing the same thing to them isn’t actually fixing anything#and while it does carry with it a kind of poetic justice#you are in a lot of ways continuing an unhealthy behavior pattern that’s only taken on a new face#idk man#i just#do you ever lie awake at night considering your inherent hypocrisy?#do you ever wonder what kind of impact this is going to have on not only your personal future but that of those around you?#my mom still talks to her horrendous siblings and while I genuinely wouldn’t blame her for stopping because htey’re actively harmful#I also can get behind the personal honor and maintaining your own values in keeping up connections because you value the person#even when they continue to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves#actively saying ‘you are more important to me than the hurt that you continue to cause me’ takes a lot of guts#and i know if my siblibngs and i became their targets then things would change#but the fact that she’s willing to continue to take it from them as they continue to target her?#infintely admirable imo
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just finished s6 of elementary (finished s5 on sunday. lol) and i’m trying to get my friends to watch it also so unfortunately i can’t drown them in my spoilery rantings so instead everything is going in the tags here so uh. abandon all hope ye who enter these tags, spoilers abound
#im gonna pad these tags a bit actually#so the spoilers go behind a 'read more' or whatever#youre welcome <3#have i mentioned you should watch this show#anyways we're probably safe now su#HOOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIT#that is not at ALL where i expected that to go#gregson was really warming up to me this season. he had never really stood out as a characted before but i think he really shown in s5&6#but man. that finale. honestly idk if i can forgive his character for that. i know he was just trying to protect his daughter but she had to#take responsibility for killing michael because it was not fair for joan to take the fall for that even unintentionally. im definitely gonna#miss him tho. and marcus too. i mean i knew his presence was coming to an end anyways with the marshalls but this finale has really dissolve#d the core cast here. now its jsut sherlock and joan. back in london too; thats quite the move#and in the last season. i guess the total shift is setting and cast didnt do well with ratings? or maybe it was always going to end at 221b#idk. but i think my favorite part of this season was sherlock completely devoting himself to the idea of joan getting a kid#personally idk how i feel about the narrative making her a mother in the end. i could say it has come problematic implications about women's#roles but honestly within the context on the narrative? i dont think thats entirely true. anyways i jsut thought it was super cure how much#sherlock just wanted joan to be happy and fulfilled. 'i would make adjustments for you watson always.' 'we're two people who love each other#they way he develops through her. the way he learns how to love and be loved. the way he becomes kinder and he lets down his walls to laugh#with her and smile with her. the way that they understand each other in ways nobody else ever has. it makes me som emotinal#HE NAMED A BEE AFTER HER#im never going to get over that#anyways 'uncle detective' is maybe the cutest thing ever. he cleaned up his murder dollhouse for a kid she didnt even have yet :)#ok i think im done. for now. its 1am and i have class at 8:30 so uh i guess i'll just die about it but oh well. i was gonna watch one more#and then i realized the one after that one was the season finale so you see how i did what i had to#anyways. good night#:')#will tags this far in even get registered? oh well#elementary#cbs elementary#please someone talk to me about them
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I dunno why this caught my attention, but imma think real quick.
Cause in this moment, the fellowship basically found themselfs unable to take the slightly less dangerous path through a mountains pass, and were just told that the only option they have to avoid detection is to go through moria, which is Really Frickin Dangerous.
Frodo said they should think about the decision when its morning, and then they kinda went silent, listening to the winter wind, before aragorn was like "that aint wind, thats wolves! We need to go asap!"
And then pippin says this to sam, and i think its such a realistic moment? Like. The regret (relateable) realising maybe youre in over your head, the fear he must be feeling, the self-doubt, idk, i feel for pippin right now, as a coward myself.
And sam, i love him, hes so comforting here, so optimistic. He has so much faith in his companions, despite how scared he is, too.
Man, i really like this darn book.
#espy talks#i have more thoughts locked behind several nerdy dms with my friend i should probably post#but idk if ill get around to that#its been good for my reading comprehension to do these summaries i think#maybe i should keep a journal to write book thoughts into#idk. imma get back to my book
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