#should have known this was going to be a pain in the ass when instead of just playing the music

[drastrochris]

This is the worst puzzle in the world.

Thanks for giving me five analog dials with no indicators of if I've set them correctly, no clear value for the dials to begin with, and then making me to transfer those vague sine wave values to another set of analog dials that I have no indication if they're set correctly.

Oh, and you've put the two sets of dials on opposite sides of the map so I have to fuck around with ladders and shit to attempt to transfer my vague guides from source to target.

[ridingthatd]

𝄞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤

`• sukunaxfem!reader, nanamixfem!reader, gojoxfem!reader, getoxfem!reader, nsfw, heavy smut, bdsm, multiple orgasm, over simulation, brain fucked, kinky, filthy •`

what did you just get yourself into... you should have known being nice to a men will always turn into something a lot more. men don't take being nice so easily. they think deep in their fucked up minds that nice is equal you wanting to fuck them. you wanting to have their fat cocks shoved deep inside your wet cunt, hitting your womb with their leaking tip, making it nice and moist before they fill you- gushing their boiling seeds inside of you.

after all, that's what men always think about. even business men. even uninterested men.

𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨. nanami was always about business, he took it very seriously. the gambling sessions. the gambling meeting. were all very serious for him. he never had time to get his cock wet with a pussy- he did enjoy the gentle touchs of woman. he did enjoy their heated skin against his cold one. he did enjoy a tight pussy being ripped- teared up with his fat cock. he did enjoy the taste of a juicy cunt squirting all over his face. he did enjoy being drunk off a pussy. but not all woman. specific woman- woman that he can share with his dear work friends.

woman like you.

𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮. geto was a busy men. he never liked to waste time on things that didn't give him anything he desired in return. he was simple instead of going around and looking for a pussy to keep his throbbing cock warm- his hands would keep his company. masturbation was something he did to relief his stress. tight grip on his cock, tugging on his hardness, feeling the veins that surrounded his dick pluse with need. swiping his tattood finger against his wet clit, before he tugs on the peircing that was placed directly on his red tip- prince albert peircing. loving the sting it gives him everytime he harshly pull on it.

and he knew a woman like you, would love having his pierced cock hitting your womb.

𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮. gojo was playful. a confident men who had no shame barking about the size of his huge cock. who had no enough shame to hide his hard on the moment he glanced at your perky ass. smirking at the sight, as his cock push against his zipper ready to spread your cheeks and fill your tight little ass. he was an ass men. loving the sight of a plumpy ass shaking, trembling as he ate it from behind. leaving bites, purplish red marks on it. he craved using toys to plug his warm seeds inside of the tiny hole whenever he filled it. having the urge to fill it again. and again. and again. till he leaves a tummy bludge from how much he spurted inside.

and he needed to claim your ass with his seeds.

𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧. sukuna wasn't on business like his friends were. he simply didn't give a fuck about ruining business when he shoots their future partnerships. he found women pathetic. and he wouldn't hesitate to make a hole through their skull if they as much as dare to touch him. touch him thinking they can seduce him. but little did he know that a woman like you would be into that shit. would be into getting her tight cunt fucked with his gun. gushing all over it, as he fucks you roughly with it. tearing your walls apart, while his finger was still on the trigger- it had him almost cumming his pants at the sight of you squirting on his gun, not giving a fuck that a bullet can almost tear up your insides. to lost in pleasure.

he won't deny that he was also indeed lost in pleasure to.

your whole body buzzed. buzzed with unbearable pleasure. here you were tied up, hands behind your back- tied tight with a silk robe, the pain of how tight it was stinged. not in a bad way. but in a good way. tears of pleasure slipped out of your rolled eyes one by one. each drop followed by your body twitch.

your wet cunt was ripped apart with a huge dildo vibrating at full speed inside of you. not stopping even after you reach your 3rd orgasm. spurting your hot fluid, as it trails down the desk you were spread wide on. giving a full view to the four man in front of you. full view of your abused red puffy pussy.

they didn't utter any words. the only sound the was filled in the huge office was your whines, whimper, cries, screams, as you beg them to stop. the only sound that was filled in their huge office was your wet cunt, creating an embarrassing wet gushing sound as you release your fluid. your pussy creating filthy noises that pleasure their ears.

you can see the wet spot that was forming on their pants, their fat cocks pressing against their zippers giving you a view of their leaking cocks. and this seems to cause your 4th orgasm. your body arch as you squirt out your warm fluid, hearing a groan coming from gojo satoru at the sight of you shooting your cum.

"fuck hell, what a sexy little thing" gojo moan out, palming his desperate cock. while eyeing your trembling figure. he's never been this turned on.

"I guess we're going to have a lot of fun today".

: ̗̀➛ for part 2 click 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting the mortal emmrich romance path scene

dissecting the graveyard scene

mortal vs lich romance path

emmrich x rook cinematic (mortal)

lich version dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the romance scene (lich path) emmrich x rook cinematic

welcome back my dears

Emmrich Volkarin - Choosing Mortality/Resurrecting Manfred

gonna start with how MUCH I love rook defending emmrich and therefore instilling confidence in him throughout the game, however it is particualry noticeable in this segment.

more

oh yes

after being knocked on his ass from johanna skeleton construct he is visibly hurt, but this is both physical and emotional pain. I implore you once again to read The Flame Eternal for context behind Emmrich and Johanna.

emmrich's fear of death and cowardice rearing its head in the face of untold danger, until our beloved manfred makes the ultimate sacrifice, and demonstrates great courage.

oh baby, thats the stuff. Rook instilling confidence in her necromancer.

god is real and he is a hot necromancer. look at the confidence surge through him.

moving on

The scene cuts to Emmrich and Rook at the Necropolis asking to revive Manfred. Emmrich seeks out the advice from the Lich Lords of the Necropolis who inform that there are ways to return his spirit, at a cost -

alright here we go. If emmrich chooses manfreds life over accepting his death, he will no longer be able to achieve lichdom as emmrich wouldve have failed to accept death as a natural part of life. in emmrich relinquishing lichdom and choosing to revive manfred instead it delves deep into his character. for emmrich to give up lichdom would mean admitting that some things mean more to him than his fear of death - that choosing to live, that he could choose to be couragous, and face life head on, in spite of inevitable death. emmrich is a known coward, but this - choosing this path, means being resilent, being courageous, overcoming cowardice in the name of love.

it should also be noted that in the lich romance path, during the arguemnt scene, emmrich is not able to accept the inevitable death of rook. THEREFORE -

im telling you. man goes rogue, full blown, scarlet WITCH, rogue.

back to the mortal side -

this is actually tragic. if you know both romance paths for emmrich, you know that regardless of which path emmrich follows, he does not accept death when it comes to himself, his love, or manfred. he just cant. this game portrays regret wonderfully, so wonderfully i cry.

Rook's right, emmrich is much braver than he thinks. he rushes off to help rook FIGHT GODS, facing death every day considering we all know a romanced rook takes him on every mission. emmrich has also mentioned TWICE that rook inspires him, with how they have travelled so much, and how they are indomitable.

dont get me started on how confident he is in act 3. it makes me giggle.

this next line has confused a number of people so let me put my spin on it and break it down -

Death's abyss - referring to the act of dying, and emmrichs fear of death always recedes - the fear of death dissapears with someone to brave it for - inferring to rook, facing death and being brave is easier with rook in his life

these two are made for eachother. mourn watch rook in particular, the love, desire, and connection OOZES that destiny. and my heart, explodes.

This could also be interpreted as wanting to brave death's abyss for manfred, but from a romanced rook perspective, it makes more sense for it be considered as rook. and im unsure what unromanced looks like yet - so im going with that.

this line reiterates my point that the above line is referring to rook. facing alot of things would be easier if manfred was back... like idk, rooks death, maybe.

I cant tell you how much love shoots through my body knowing emmrich wants to face death and brave it for rook. which also makes the argment scene more tragic in a way, but we'll get there dear friends.

In choosing this path, Emmrich demonstrates resilence. and whilst he regrets the lose of lichdom, he knows that he has chosen the life he has always dreamed of. a life of love. a life with his eternal flame, rook. a life with their magic flinging skeleton son, manfred. an undying love that transcends. emmrich has yearned for the love he has in his life now, for a very, very long time. talking 45 odd years here. the man is terrfied, and lichdom was a way to avert his fears, but this, he is truly happy, despite his fears.

@askfordoodles reminded me of a banter dialogue that is available between Emmrich and Davrin. They discuss their sons, Assan and Manfred, and Davrin states, "What have we signed up for?", where Emmrich responds, "Love, I think." and yes, that most defintiely includes rook. emmrich, chose love. whilst it is stated that lichdom is his lifes work and dream. coming from someone who also overworks and grinds out work to get through the weight of the day without a thought of vulnerability. I understand him. When a chance of love opens its doors, its scary, a chance to be hurt. this man took that chance, to have the family he never had growing up. and never believed he would achieve. rook gave him back his heart and made him stronger for it. emmrich chose to pursue the life that his parents would've wanted for him. the thought...the dream.. that confirms his romance.

im not crying, you are. holy shit.

keep in mind this is man who grew up poor and alone. he has low self-esteem and never believed he was worthy, let alone would find the type of soul devouring love he craved. that love that you would go to the end of the earth for.

my heart is full.

He calls himself a coward on a frequent basis. but here? what growth. whilst his fear of death may never leave him, it is significantly easier with rook that loves him as deeply as he does. and manfred, a son to pass his knowledge onto.

it then ends with Emmrich stating that in regards to him giving up lichdom for manfred, he would not exchange the life he has now for anything. his now family -

"The Volkarins"

short-ish post, but the next one will be very long where I'll touch more on Emmrichs personality traits more in the argument scene as this is where his traits really shine through, see you soon ♥

[ddejavvu]

I love your best friend with no boundaries James, and I was wondering if you could do one where James and reader are having their regularly scheduled mid-day naps, and Sirius and Remus walk into the dorm to find James just humping reader while they’re asleep? Maybe James and reader wake up to the GASP of horror from Sirius after his not so innocent eyes witness “straight up porn in their shared dorm where Peter of all people could witness”

I love all your works and was wondering if I could be marked as 😻anon? I’m the person who requested the bsf Steve imagine and I’m 100% gonna request something again because you’re perfect and I just wanna kiss you on the mouth🫶🏻🫶🏻

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Sirius considers himself James's best friend- no, brother, but he's not afraid to whack the man upside the head when he finds James grinding on you in his sleep.

"You-! Nasty-! Fucker-!" He bullies James awake, appreciating the much calmer, kinder way that Remus rouses you, tugging you away from James on the bed and murmuring that your nap is over. You blink your eyes open serenely, and James's shoot wide in pain as Sirius assaults him.

"What the fuck? Agh- Sirius! I know you're mad that I've got the better potions grade, but killing me won't help!"

"This isn't about potions, Potter," Sirius scoffs, "But I am thinking about tossing you in a hot cauldron. You were- eeugh, you were humping her, you animal!"

Your brows are furrowed and your blinks are bleary, but your brain catches up with the help of Remus's hands where they trace soothing circles on your back.

"Oh," You mumble groggily, as James groans with quickly reddening cheeks, "Uh- s'alright, Jamie."

Remus's hand stills on your back, but James and Sirius join in a fused indignant-confused "What?"

"S'just natural I guess," You shrug, "I dunno, I haven't- er, got one. But it was an accident, Jamie, you were asleep. It's alright."

James’s cheeks are still plenty rouged, but he nods sleepily at your forgiveness, relieved that he's not being hit by two people instead of only one.

"Yeah, thanks bird," He flops back down onto the mattress, letting out a sigh heavily infused with relief, "Wouldn't do it on purpose, y'know. Not while you're sleeping, that's- that's pervy."

"Some people like pervy," You hum, settling back into your own position in James's bed, though he's no longer curled around you. Sirius watches as you knock your hand against his own, "Sirius thinks I'm a perv."

"You're both pervs," Sirius grimaces, his lip curled in distaste as Remus stands from James's bedside, "Seriously, he eats off of your spoons, you've seen his dick, he's been grinding all over your ass - if you don't get a marriage license soon you're going to be very unpopular with the traditional crowd."

James turns towards you with a gasp, his eyes shining just the same as his grin does, "We could get married!"

"We should," You laugh, "And we could get a flat, and we could have your mother over for dinner every Tuesday."

"That would work." He nods, fully settled back into the pillows from Sirius's disturbance, "She loves you. And she's free Tuesday nights - her knitting circle ends at three."

"I know that," You scoff, barely biting back an overexaggerated eye roll, "James, I write your mother once a week. I know when her knitting circle is."

"You write my mum?" He rears back, momentarily confused, "She's never told me that!"

"Of course she hasn't," You snicker, "Because if you'd known, you would have stopped me from telling her how many times you get detention every week, and you'd want to share the sweets she sends me in exchange for the intel."

[cjlouwho]

Death at the Farmer's Market

You guys all decided on this poll that Tommy should get stabbed at the farmer's market, so here you go! *no major character death, a murder/suicide plot is briefly discussed*

He supposed the farmer's market wasn't the worst place to die. He'd prefer to be elsewhere, but it could be worse than the farmer's market.

He hoped his dad never found out he died right by the fruitcake stand. He could hear the jokes now.

Actually, his dad probably wouldn't come to the funeral, but he'd have to tell his buddies at the bar at some point.

He'd either completely ignore the whole “he was right by the fruitcakes” part, or he's use it as a silly little anecdote to lighten the mood.

Either way, Tommy wished he would've been stabbed literally anywhere other than by the fruitcakes. The soap booth would've been nice. Or by the bracelet lady. Hell, even the woman trying to get rid of the clothes she purchased at the height of some MLM scheme would've been preferred.

In fact, the MLM woman was super helpful at the moment as she used one of her checkered shirts to apply pressure to one of his wounds.

Tommy had managed to get the man on the ground before the stabbing happened. He just wished he'd known the guy had two knives instead of one.

He hadn't been the target. Had seen this man storming toward a woman and her daughter. She must've known him; she shouted his name when Tommy tackled him to the ground.

Tommy didn't let go of the man- Charlie, he thinks- until he stopped moving. The pain didn't register until the little girl screamed, pointing at him. He looked down to see blood soaking his shirt, and a knife sticking out of his chest.

He collapsed to the ground soon after that.

Right by the damn fruitcakes.

Thankfully, someone had the brains to yell out and make sure no one removed the knife.

Miss MLM dropped down beside him and pressed her clothing onto the wound that was bleeding the worst.

In his slightly dazed state, he tried to reach into his back pocket for his wallet. Felt the need to pay this lady for destroying her product.

Beside him, some man took his hand. Reassured him over and over that it'd be okay, help was on the way.

Tommy had heard that line before. Hell, he'd told people that line before. Not that help was coming, because he was the help. But he'd often tell people they'd be okay. Especially when he knew they wouldn't be. It's easier to die when you think you won't.

Tommy coughed. Ignored the taste of copper in his mouth. “T- The wo... woman?”

“She's okay,” another woman said. Tommy couldn't see where that voice was coming from. “You saved her.”

Well, at least he had that.

Then, there was another voice. A very familiar voice.

“Maddie?” Tommy mumbled.

Someone had called 9-1-1. They'd put her on speaker.

“M- Maddie, no... no one- eight-” he was cut off by another coughing fit.

The phone must've been near his head, because he was fairly certain she heard him.

“Tommy?! Tommy, is that you?”

The man holding his hand patted it, getting his attention. “Tommy? Is- Is that your name?”

“Mmmhm,” Tommy managed to hum.

“Yeah, his name is Tommy.”

Tommy was sure he heard an, “Oh God,” on the other end of the line. If he wasn't in the middle of dying he'd tell her she needed to work on her subtleties. Then she was off the line. Whether it was brief, or for a while, he wasn't sure.

“Hey, hey!” Hand-man exclaimed, hitting Tommy's hand harder now. “Keep your eyes open, Tommy! Come on, hang in there!”

Tommy glared at the man. He didn't need to be told what to do. If he wanted to close his eyes, he'd close his damn eyes! What the hell did it matter anyway?

Suddenly, people were yelling, and sirens could be heard in the distance. A path was being cleared seconds later, and familiar people with actual names dropped beside Tommy.

“Well look at this,” Chimney said, and Tommy made a note that he hid his panic much better than his wife did, “here to save your ass, yet again.”

“I ha- have... I have s- saved your ass a- a bunch,” Tommy deadpanned.

“Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in.”

“He's not wrong though,” Hen agreed, cutting Tommy's shirt open.

Tommy was about to attempt a joke about how he wouldn't have skipped his workout had he known he'd be exposed like this, but he was stopped before he could start.

“Tommy! Tommy!”

Tommy's eyes drifted up as Chimney and Hen continued working on him. “Ev- Evan, I didn't-”

“Shh,” Buck soothed, running his fingers through Tommy's hair. “Don't try and talk, just- just relax, okay?”

And oh, it ran in the family, because Evan was not doing a good job at keeping his tears in his eyes.

“S'okay,” Tommy said. His arm flailed up limply beside him until Buck took it. “S'okay. I- I'm okay, E-” He was cut off by another round of coughing, followed by severe pain, and ten suddenly, everything went black.

*****

Tommy wasn't exactly sure how death worked, but he was fairly certain it didn't involve waking up in a hospital bed.

He groaned as he blinked his eyes open, his body feeling stiffer than it ever had in his life.

“Tommy?”

He looked over to see Evan sitting in the chair beside him, eyes wide and wet. Their hands were tangled together, Evan's knuckles white from the tight grip.

“M- Morning,” Tommy muttered, voice gravelly.

He managed to get a little smile out of Evan with that. “It's actually ten at night.”

“Oh. Sorry for, um, sleeping all day.”

Buck rolled his eyes, letting go of Tommy's hand to grab a cup of water off the tray table.

“Sip,” he instructed, and Tommy obeyed.

“So... not dead, then?” Tommy asked once he was finished with his drink.

Buck sat and took his hand again. “Nope,” he confirmed. “Couldn't let you die by the table of fruitcakes.”

Tommy laughed, wincing when a flash of pain came over him. “Thanks for understanding.”

“Of course.”

“What... What about the other guy?”

“He... He didn't make it,” Buck replied. “I guess you two were, um, st- stabbing each other at the same time?”

“Didn't know he had the second knife,” Tommy said. “I'm not upset h- he's dead though.”

“You shouldn't be. He had a note with him. He was there to kill his ex-wife. Daughter too, then himself.”

“They'll... They'll be okay, won't they?”

Buck smiled. “They've already contacted the hospital. They'd like to visit, when you're up for it.”

Tommy looked down at their hands, giving Buck's a squeeze. “A day or two.”

Buck nodded.

They sat in silence for a moment, Buck rubbing his thumb over Tommy's. “I have a question.”

Tommy shook his head. “Here we go.”

“Why were you at the farmer's market? Alone? On a work day?”

“Are you sure I'm not dead? Positive th- this isn't purgatory?”

“Tommy.”

“I may have told a little, tiny fib about whether or not I could get off work early.”

“Thomas Buckley-Kinard!”

“I wanted to get you some flowers!” Tommy defended. “And I- I was gonna get the house all ready. Make you a special dinner, dessert, th- the whole nine yards.”

“See, this is what happens when we lie.”

“We get stabbed on our second wedding anniversary?”

“Exactly.”

Tommy sighed, pouting out his bottom lip at Buck.

“Don't do that!” Buck whined. “I can't deny your pout!”

“It's because I rarely bring it out. Forgive me, Evan?”

“I can't not forgive you after you got stabbed.”

“It would be very unfair,” Tommy agreed.

Another eye roll and Buck stood, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to Tommy's lips. “I love you, Tommy.”

“I love you too.”

“Don't ever get stabbed again, okay?”

“I'll try,” Tommy promised. “Especially not by the damn fruitcakes.”

[leviraaaaaa]

Takes place in s2 after the scouts rescue Eren.

Blood had dried over your face. It dried over your lashes, making it hard to blink. The pain had numbed long ago, the cuts and slashes didn't hurt as much. At least, not as bad as how your heart ached.

You should have been in the med-bay. In your dorm perhaps. In the bathroom showering up, you think. But instead you found yourself slumped against Levi's door. You weren't even sure why. But out of all the places, this was what the first place you could think of. You needed to run. To hide. But there were people everywhere. And everyone was covered in blood and everyone was crying and everyone was staring. And everyone kept asking you questions and they all looked half-dead and goddamnit, you couldn't take it anymore.

You ended up here, for some reason. Instinctively, you had seeked him out. Well-aware he wouldn't be here but nevertheless.

It was the only side of the building that wasn't swarming with people anyways.

But you think you needed something to ground yourself. Needed his familiar gray eyes to glare at you. Some sense of sanity, clarity, safety.

You wished he was here, you thought.

So that he could scold you. Yell at you to get your ass up and get cleaned because you're filthy and you're bleeding all over his carpet.

Maybe that's what you need.

Maybe his sharp tongue would finally snap you out of this nightmare.

"What..are you doing here?"

You jolted. Your stiff, blood-crusted lashes barely fluttered as you blinked up.

He was there, standing in front of you, eyes widened just a fraction, confused and surprised.

You sighed.

You take it back, you don't really want to see him right now.

"..Levi." You muttered, not bothering to get up. Or even move. Your body give itself up a little more, leaning the rest of it's weight on the door. "Didn't think you'd be back so soon."

"Where am I supposed to be?" He asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"I don't know?" You shrugged. "By Erwin's sick bed?"

"I hate hospitals."

Your mouth twiched. Of course he did. "Will Erwin be okay?"

"He'll live,” He sighs. "His arm won't though.”

You looked away.

“Was it bad?” He asked, carefully watching you with narrowed eyes. You knew exactly what he meant.

“What do you think, genius?”

Levi stared, unease in his posture. He looked uncertain. He'd known the answer, the moment the first horse came in. There were too much blood, too many injured. He knew the answer when he'd saw Erwin, his uniform bloodied and mangled. Hange looked terribly exhausted and the brats looked banged up as well. It doesn't take much for one to add two and two and understand what it'd been like.

Then he'd looked for you. Wildly. He was looking at every horse that passed through, observing every hooded face. Then he paused by the medical room, glancing over every person, but no, no you. There was no you. So he could successfully rule out that you were heavily injured as well.

So when he'd went out to search for you, this was not the place he'd thought he'd find you.

This was, also, definitely not the state he'd thought he'd find you in.

Slouched down in a pool of blood and filth, you were curled up so close, as if trying to make yourself smaller, to make you disappear. He felt a sense of relief when he noticed you weren't too injured. At least, not physically.

There was something wrong though. The more he looked at you, the more frail you appeared. There was something in the way you looked, so tired, so terribly exhausted. The eyes of someone lost. Someone who had just survived hell. Someone who didn't know where else to go. From all the years he'd known you, he'd never seen you this fazed.

He felt a sudden feeling of helplessness. He didn't know how to help you. But he swallowed it down and spoke anyway.

"Are you.. alright?"

You glanced up. He was looking at you, actually looking at you, with worry.

You thought about it for a second

"...no." You swallowed.

He inhaled, nodding, like he wasn't expecting any different answer. His eyes glanced over you.

"You're covered in blood."

"Don't worry, most of it isn't mine."

"I can see you're bleeding." He said. "Why are you not in the med wing?"

"...I needed space." You mumbled, hugging your knees close to your chest. But he was giving you that look, that look that made you feel as though he could see right through your soul. It always made you feel so exposed. So small. You wish you didn't look so vulnerable as you must do. "..that's why I came here. Didn't think you'd be around."

"You're bleeding out on my office carpet.”

That made you grin, "I know. " You said. "I'm sorry. I'll move in a bit.”

"Are you hiding?" He asked, his voice low. God, he knew you too well. Always the escapist, always running away when it got too much. And he’d always dragged you right back.

"Maybe." You admitted.

There was a pause, thick and heavy. You couldn't hold his gaze anymore. You leaned your head back, closing your eyes, you wished he’d leave, wished he couldn’t see how close you were to breaking.

Breathe.

Breathe.

You couldn't.

"Stop."

You blinked at him, it came out breathless. "What?"

"Don't.” He repeated. “I know what you're doing."

"I'm not doing anything—"

"No. You're shutting yourself out."

"What's that even supposed to–"

"And you're angry at me. You're looking at me like you're angry at me. I can tell. " He said, frowning as the realization came across him. Confused. "Why are you angry at me?"

You didn't know what to say. You stared at him as his gray eyes searched your face for an answer. An answer you didn't know yourself. The more he looked at you and the more you looked at him, the more you felt the strange lack of air in your chest rise.

What do you tell him? You could always lie. Tell him it's nothing. He's seeing things. You couldn't think. But no matter what you made up, he'd see through you anyways.

You did feel angry.

Were you angry at him? You thought. Not really. Anger was the last emotion you felt. Not towards him.

Did a part of you blame Levi for this whole shit? Yes, you did. As unreasonable as it was, you did. You hated that Levi wasn't there. You hated that you had to face this alone, how vulnerable you'd felt without him. And you hated that, maybe if he was there, so many less people might've died. It might've been so much easier.

You might cry.

You weren't angry.

But you were scared. You were terrified. You were traumatized. You couldn't breathe. And you wished he'd stop looking at you like that for fucks sake.

"I'm not angry at you. Why would I be angry at you?" You mumbled, the bitterness in your voice so obvious.

"That's what I'm asking."

"Well, I'm not. Your people reading skills are questionable."

"People reading skills? Yes, perhaps." He agreed quietly, looking down at you. "You though? I've known you way too long. So why the fuck are you angry?"

"Because you weren't there, you dumbfuck!" You yelled, the words rushing out before you could even have a chance to stop them. There were angry tears running down your cheek and you pressed your blood covered hands to your mouth to stop yourself from letting the choked sob come out. He was right. You were angry. Not angry at him, but you felt rage, and you had to let it out.

"Couldn't have found a better time to get your stupid injury, could you?" Your voice cracked. "You just had to not be there the only time I needed you!" He looked so hurt, you realized. His brows furrowed together as he watches you, listening quietly as you threw words at him you didn't even mean. Cruel, cruel, cruel. He looked so hurt. And confused. He didn't deserve this. You needed to stop.

Everything you went through today, every bit of fear you'd experienced, everytime you'd felt helpless, everytime you'd wished he was there only to find he wasn't, every gruesome, bloody memory was tangling up in your chest, demanding to get out. It burned you down. If you didn't let it out, you'd turn into ashes here.

"What's the point," You bit the words out, "What's the point of being so fucking strong? Of being humanity's fucking strongest or whatever? Tell me what the bloody point if you can't even be there when we need you?"

"I'm so fucking mad at you," You whispered angrily. "So fucking mad." You were gasping between the words. You needed to stop. You needed to breathe. "I could punch you." You rasped. "I can't even look at you, I can't even—"

You didn't get to finish what you were going to say, because then Levi was down on his knees in an instant, pulling you into him. You struggled, your instincts still jumpy from the last hour, pushing against him and trying to peer away. But he was stronger than he ever was and he held you close, pressing your head to his shoulder.

Your breath hitched, your words coming to a stop as a choke came out. You could feel his heartbeat. It was slow, calming down your own. Breathe.

You weren't angry anymore.

Suddenly, all the rage left your body, the adrenaline rush had died down and you melted right into him. Now all you felt was sadness. Unbearable sadness. There was a void in your heart, empty and cold, and it kept reminding you of everything that had happened today.

"I thought—" you whispered, "I thought we were gonna die.” Your voice cracked as the quiet confession left you. The words were stumbling out of you, a desperate attempt to make him understand. He had to understand. “I was so, so scared, Levi." Your fingers dig into his shirt and you were almost gasping. "And then—and then fucking Erwin almost died and—and everything started going dipshit and I—I thought we were all gonna die and that's the end of it. And I was—I was—"

"Breathe," He whispered in your ear, reminding you. So uncharacteristically gentle. "Breathe. It's over. You're not there anymore.

It was the softness in his voice you think. Like he understood. Like he knew exactly why you were here and how he got you here. There was all the patience in the world when he spoke, all the kindness. It finally broke you. You tried to inhale but there was a tight knot in your throat and it constricted with every tight inhale, as if your lungs were squeezing themselves. Breathe, he said. You had to breathe.

But it was so hard to. Instinctively, you latched onto him, clinging to him desperately as your lungs fought for air. You were drowning and he was the last solid thing. If he let you go now you would fall. You would cease. You would break. You buried your face in his chest. Warmth. He was so warm. Always so warm. And it was so cold there, you thought you might never feel this again.

He felt so very much like home.

"You weren't there." You whispered accusingly. You hated him. "You weren't there, Levi."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You weren't there and I was scared that I was gonna die alone. I hate that you weren't there, I wish you were there because–"

"I know." He repeated. "Hush. You're okay. You're breathing. And you're filthy as fuck but you're alive."

That made you snort. You let out half a sob. "I got blood over you."

He didn't say anything, only pulled you closer in response.

"You're strong." He muttered softly as you let yourself melt into him. There was no more strength left in you. You could only focus on his voice and nothing else. "And brave. And Smart as fuck. I knew you'd be okay. That you'd come back. I always believed in you."

You soaked in his affirmations, the words soothing you. You rested your head on his shoulder and he did the same, his hand gently rubbing circles on your back.

"..I was so scared." You repeated again, closing your eyes. A soft shiver ran through you. "I was scared that I'd never get to see you again. And I never even got to say a proper goodbye."

"Mhm." He hummed softly. "But you're here now. That's what matters. I'm sorry I wasn't there, but I'm here now."

He was holding you so gently. Like you were made of glass. Delicate. Fragile. It's impossible to think that a cold man like him was even capable of such gentleness. You clung to him, wondering how could someone still be so kind after the words you had thrown towards him.

"I wasn't really mad at you," you mumbled after a while, your breathing still uneven.

"I know."

"I didn't mean what I said."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

Of course he did. He always did.

[antinousletmehit]

Pairing: Telemachus x fem!reader

Note: the name Pandora isn’t gonna stay cause I know how people get annoyed when they find x readers and it’s just a random ho’s name instead of y/n but enjoy!!

Telemachus straightened his tunic as he walked through the courtyard, clutching a scroll under one arm. He had hoped to avoid the Suitors’ usual antics today. Unfortunately, fate or perhaps the gods seemed determined to test his patience.

“Telemachus,” came a smooth, mocking voice.

He sighed. Turning slowly, he was met with y/n, Antinous’s younger sister, perched gracefully on a low wall. Her hair caught the sunlight in a way that seemed annoyingly deliberate, her smirk as sharp as her brother’s dagger.

“Y/n,” he said curtly, already preparing himself for whatever remark she had ready.

“Where are you off to in such a rush?” she asked, hopping down from the wall to saunter toward him. “Or are you just trying to avoid me? That would hurt my feelings little wolf, you know.”

Telemachus rolled his eyes. “I’m busy, y/n. Some of us have responsibilities.”

“Oh, responsibilities,” she echoed with mock reverence, trailing a finger along the scroll in his hand. “How noble. Tell me, does being so serious ever get boring?”

He stepped back, clutching the scroll tighter. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Come now, don’t be like that,” she teased, leaning in closer. “You know you love our little chats.” Her tone dripped with amusement, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “And it’s not every day you get to be graced by someone as charming as me.”

“Charming isn’t the word I’d use,” Telemachus muttered under his breath.

Y/n gasped dramatically, placing a hand over her heart. “Is that any way to speak to a lady?”

“You’re about as much a lady as your brother,” he shot back, before immediately regretting it.

Her grin widened. “Oh, Telemachus, I didn’t know you thought of me so much. Should I be flattered?” She tilted her head, feigning innocence with a hint of mischief. “If I’m “about as much as a lady as my brother” then that would mean you’re as manly as your mother. Are you hiding something softer under that tunic?” she hollered as she cracks her knuckles and reels back her arm and roughly smacks the young prince’s ass.

Telemachus lets out groan and squirms away from her hand. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”, he barks out as he goes and rubs his ass, trying to lessen the pain that her hand has impacted on him. “The real question is what’s wrong with you?, you’re moaning like a bitch for me already, and I haven’t even done any real action—yet.” Y/n teases with a smirk.

Telemachus’s face burned red, his hand still reflexively rubbing the spot where Pandora had so boldly struck him. “By the gods, y/n, must you always act like this?” he snapped, glaring at her as she stood there, completely unbothered.

“Oh, little wolf, don’t tell me you’re upset.” Y/n leaned against the nearest column, lazily crossing her arms. Her grin was as infuriating as ever. “It’s not my fault you’re so… reactive. I barely touched you.”

“That’s not the point!” Telemachus hissed, his tone laced with embarrassment. “You can’t just go around—doing that!”

“Why not?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the prince of Ithaca, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be able to handle a little attention? Or does my touch leave you… rattled?” She stepped closer, her tone softening into something almost sultry.

“Rattled?” Telemachus repeated, taking a step back. He tried to summon the confidence his father was so well-known for, but y/ns audacity always managed to throw him off balance. “You’re insufferable. And inappropriate!”

“Inappropriate?” Y/n tapped her chin thoughtfully, as if the concept was foreign to her. “No, I don’t think so. I’m just trying to prove a point.”

“And what point is that?” he shot back, exasperated.

“That you’re far too easy to fluster.” Y/n’s grin widened as she circled him, her steps slow and deliberate. “It’s almost too much fun, watching the ‘future king’ squirm like this. Tell me, Telemachus, how will you face a battlefield if you can’t even handle a little teasing, from a woman nonetheless.”

Telemachus clenched his jaw, refusing to rise to her bait. “A battlefield doesn’t involve someone like you,” he muttered.

Y/n laughed, the sound ringing out like a bell. “Oh, I’m sure it doesn’t. But who knows? Maybe I’d be good for you. After all, you’re wound tighter than a ship’s rope.” She stopped in front of him, her face suddenly serious, though her eyes still sparkled with mischief. “Perhaps you’d loosen up if you stopped running away every time I came near.”

“I don’t run away,” he said defensively, taking another step back.

“You just did,” she pointed out, gesturing to the distance he’d put between them.

Telemachus opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again, realizing she had a point. “You’re impossible,” he finally said, shaking his head.

“And yet, here you are,” y/n replied with a smirk, crossing her arms again. “Always coming back for more.”

With an irritated groan, Telemachus turned on his heel and strode toward the hall. “Stupid, dumb, idiotic, pompous little-“. Telemachus endlessly mutters as he continues to walk to the library.

[lapdogchase]

fascinated and distressed by chase's disordered relationship with sexuality + his emotions abt his own trauma & abuse

thru the beginning of the show he doesn't even realize he's hot despite being objectively attractive. when he finds out he's hot he then realizes people pretend to be interested in him as a person in order to have sex with him and gets super upset about it

he starts having a bunch of meaningless sex as a coping mechanism when cameron leaves him. and also a lot of other times. whenever something bad happens, basically, he starts going out with a bunch of women, just to feel something, presumably

^to the extent where hes known within the hospital as a slut. and has had sex with an insane amount of nurses. as well as presumably women who are not at his place of work.

he says doing this made him hate himself so he stopped. it's the b-plot for an episode and then he's back having meaningless sex again by the end of the episode

even his coworkers know this about him. and have called it out, masters even says she thinks he doesn't respect women bc, in her words, he's with a different one every few days or maybe he finds comfort in meaningless relationships

goes back to having meaningless sex within weeks of getting stabbed. which is really bad for wound healing reasons too. genuinely it seems like such compulsive behavior for him considering he keeps doing it even when its objectively not only a bad idea but actively dangerous

house even directly says he's "a serial slut" because he's "terrified of intimacy." incredibly accurate assessment

his relationship with his sexuality reads so heavily as someone who thinks they're not good for anything else

see also: dissociation & avoidance

we know he has a lot of trauma especially in childhood- he never really gets into it let alone into how he Feels about it but what we know is already bad & that's just the stuff he's okay with sharing with his coworkers or patients

in general he's very avoidant of his own trauma- when he gets stabbed he says he "can't change what happened, can only make better choices from here" as if it was his own fault, and refuses thru the whole episode to acknowledge that being traumatized by this would be a really normal reaction that he is definitely having. instead he just blames himself

also, he dissociates from traumatic things that happen to him - says "there was a stabbing" rather than "i was stabbed" for instance

when he's talking abt his childhood trauma he does it in a very similar way - he talks about it very bluntly and doesn't ever get into how he actually feels about it.

see also: dr. fawn response

general passive willingness to go along with anything- when cameron says they should have sex in s3 he's surprised and then he just kinda goes along with it. not bc he didn't want to bc he obviously did, but he's just generally very much someone who does whatever other people want him to do. i feel like he and cameron both tend to seek validation thru sex in an unhealthy way that i'm still gnawing on like a dog with a bone i have to go rewatch s3 to really articulate it though

he has a sort of desperation for praise and approval especially from anyone he views as an authority figure. he does whatever authority figures tell him out of this idea that it'll bring him approval and therefore safety

like no matter what house does or says to him he doesn't argue or retaliate or anything. even when house punches him he collapses on the ground in pain and then just keeps talking about the patient like nothing happened.

the scene in 3.10 after house punches him where he's in the ddx room and house walks in and throws the file at him and chase is startled and tries to pretend he's not. and he looks up with this huge fuck ass bruise on his jaw swallows heavily and pretends not to be upset. and house asks if he got that looked at as if he wasn't the one to give it to him and chase just swallows and says he's fine. dr fawn response :(

[deansapplepie]

Whatcha lookin’ at? (Drabble)

Part 1 of The Staring Contest Series

Warnings: none.

A/N: maybe ooc Daryl, I can’t say certainly.

The Quarry, Atlanta

It was a scorching hot morning at the quarry. 1 month after the outbreak or maybe a little more. The community that started small at the quarry, now had a lot of people and everyone had their own function. The function division was a little sexist, but you wouldn’t complain unless someone made some harm against you, or your dad. Not that you were dangerous or anything.

You were squatting near the water washing clothes with the other women, not your favorite chore you should say. You never thought you’d miss a washing machine so much in your life, but the task was bearable, the other ladies were nice and… having him some meters away fishing and being able to steal some glances made it all better.

Your legs were paining from squatting for a long time, so you decided to stand up for a little and you couldn’t just control your eyes as they wandered to where they’ve been wandering for the last month… to the charming grumpy handsome redneck. Daryl Dixon. He wasn’t one to speak much, but when he did you could expect 2 things a pretty smart remark that no one would expect from someone like him or a sassy remark that would annoy most of people, but made you all tingly and bothered.

“You’re staring, darling. Again.” Jacqui said by your side.

“I’m not.” You answered, cheeks instantly blushing.

It was well known among the women about your crush on the redneck, they saw how you looked at him, most of them disapproved it, not that they had any saying in it, but they new a Dixon wasn’t the kind of men Dale would ever want for you. Just a few of them didn’t judge you, Carol was too busy with her problems to care about anything else, Jacqui wasn’t one to judge anyone and Amy… she was a sweetheart, young and a little rebellious, so she always thought ‘why not?’.

While you were lost in your thoughts looking at Daryl, the way his muscles tensed while fishing, the sweat running on his tanned skin burnt by the sun…

He looked back at you.

He started walking in your direction.

“Fuck.” You squatted instantly again and put your attention back to the clothes. “He saw it, please pretend I wasn’t looking at him.”

“There’s no way of pretending, both of you are always on a staring contest.” Amy frankly spoke.

“What?” You asked, nope you were always the only one staring.

You got no answer because as soon as the blonde opened her mouth to answer you, a certain redneck approached you.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” He asked his feet planted by your side.

You didn’t answer. Maybe if you pretended it wasn’t with you he would just ignore and leave.

“Horvath, I’m talking to ya.” He squatted, SQUATTED, by your side. “Why d’ya keep staring? Have ya never seen a dirty redneck?”

Shit. He wasn’t going to give up, you pissed him.

Silence.

You couldn’t dare saying anything, but before he could open his mouth and pressure you one more time, the words simply left your mouth.

“You’re handsome.” You looked at him and you almost fell with your ass on the ground just by looking at his eyes deep as an ocean, but his reflexes were faster than gravity and he got a hold of your arm supporting you.

Silence.

That was his turn to have no words. Were you joking?

“I like looking at pretty things.” His hand got a tight grip on your arm, it didn’t hurt, but instead sent tingles all over you.

Silence.

He didn’t know if he felt flattered or offended. First of all he didn’t think he was handsome and secondly no men would like to be called pretty, but he couldn’t feel mad when it was coming out of your sweet pretty lips.

“And what does your daddy think about this?” He didn’t know what to say, so the first thing left his mouth was an intent of telling you that your father wouldn’t approve it.

In an act of boldness you said “I don’t know, I never asked him if he thinks you’re cute too.”

Silence.

You thought you had screwed things bad and if he didn’t hate you before, he’d now for sure, but your worries dissipated as soon as a smirk appeared at his lips, almost a smile, his pointed canine showing slightly at the side. “Ya’re fun.”

“Sometimes I am.” You answered.

He grunted, when what he wanted to say was from now on you would probably need to bear with his staring too, not that he didn’t before, there was just one thing about you that made it impossible for him to not take glances at you constantly. He wanted to dislike you, like everyone else, but even if Merle was disgusting to you, you still treated him nice, even if his brother was a jerk.

He got up and before living you go be tortured by the other women he said one last thing.

“I’ll see ya ‘round sunshine.”

Wanna be added to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series) Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325 @hayley1998 @shadowcitrine @vaniniweenie @cupidelocke

MDNI banner by @anitalenia

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

I’ve been dissecting Ragatha’s character with surgical tools because I am not the least bit normal about this damn doll, and something that I’ve gathered upon rewatch is how much responsibility Ragatha has been taking for Pomni’s first day. Prepare for another character analysis about everyone’s favorite confirmed girl failure

Useless Lesbian jokes aside, it’s so interesting to me how much Ragatha cares about Pomni liking her. To the point where she believes Pomni’s terrible awful no good very bad first day has some relevance to how she thinks Pomni thinks of her.

At first I thought this was just the result of her people pleasing tendencies that needs everyone to like her for her to have any degree of self worth (no I’m not projecting, shut up), but she doesn’t seem to be this pushy about getting along with anyone else.

Another possible reason for this behavior was that she just wants to make the newcomer feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible to lessen the blow of being trapped, and she’s doing such a bad job of it that it’s making her think less of herself for failing. But here she’s specifically talking about the “horrible experience” of having to deal with Kaufmo’s abstraction.

Here Ragatha is literally writhing in pain from glitching after getting her ass handed to her by Kaufmo and she briefly stops Pomni from leaving to get the help she needs to apologize to her about having a bad first day.

Honestly, Pomni’s awkward response to this was hella fitting.

Like, Jesus Christ, Ragatha. Priorities girl.

When I first watched this, I thought her little apology fell under the same category as someone apologizing for hearing bad news, (y’know like a “I’m sorry your dog died” kinda thing) said in a way to express sympathy over a bad situation. But in episode 2, it really feels like she actually blames herself for what happened.

and I think I know why.

It was Ragatha’s idea to go see Kaufmo in the first place and introduce Pomni to him. We know that she honestly believes that participating in the adventures are essential to persevering a person’s sanity. And yet she didn’t suggest to play along with the game Caine left for them. Instead, she thought it would be nice to check up on a friend who was suspiciously absent. And was, according to what Kinger told them before they left, slipping off the deep end.

I know hindsight is 20/20, but these should have been major red flags for her that Kaufmo may not have been alright and they should’ve all probably stayed away. And I think she realized that too late, which is what might’ve led to that awkward apology to Pomni in the hallway.

Kinger is right to reassure Ragatha that Pomni doesn’t blame her for what happened (which is why she thought Ragatha was being weird for apologizing in the first place), but I imagine Ragatha is the type of person who can’t help but dwell on the “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve”s of life. So it makes sense that she would continue to take things personally. And I bet it got even worse after

…yeah. That.

Of course, I don’t think Ragatha could’ve known that was gonna be the outcome. But she was very wary when Pomni suggested it, loudly wondering if that was even “allowed”. But she went along with it cuz it made Pomni happy.

Whelp.

Yeah this woman’s self esteem so about to go into the negatives. Which is why I’m really hoping for a good heart-to-heart between these two. Cuz they both really need it. Ragatha especially.

I think it would really help her to know Pomni wouldn’t want her to feel like less than nothing.

[bones4thecats]

What If They Were Fathers?

Type of Writing: #5 - Poll Result Characters: Bonten! Manjiro Sano, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Kakucho, and Hajime Kokonoi Name: What If They Were Fathers? Original Poll Link: Here

A/N: The Reader is FEMALE in this, since they're pregnant and whatnot.

WARNING! This contains: Mentions of drugs, overdoses, alcohol addiction, and drug addiction

Spoilers for: Bonten Arc

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

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🍵 It shocked Mikey enough that you still loved him even though he wasn't the same happy-go-lucky boy he was years ago, instead, he grew into a emotionless and dead-appearing individual

🍵 So, when he heard that you were pregnant, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a small bit of love grow inside his now cold-heart

🍵 Mikey was very good when it came to caring for you during your pregnancy, he would have the others go get you things you needed, since he suspected someone was after him and you

🍵 After all, being pregnant slows down a woman from whooping ass

🍵 It was surprising, but, when you went into labor and you were yelling at him as he tried calming you down, Mikey stayed as calm as ever

🍵 He would slightly flinch at the loud screams of pain you let out, and he was honestly kinda scared he may lose you when the gang's doctor rushed you to lay down and stay calm

" Mr. Sano, sir, would you like to hold your baby? "

🍵 Looking behind him, he stared at his first child, a son, and he felt a shimmer of happiness and sadness rush through him at the same time, it reminded him of when he first met Emma, how he cared for her automatically without any reason

🍵 As he held your baby, he let a tear rush down his cheek as you chuckled at his small moment of vulnerability, something he swore he would never show was in-fact showing, he was still human inside

🍵 Now, while your son grew up, Mikey was a hint of a helicopter-father, he runs a very dangerous organization, one that is being hunted by authorities constantly, and he had enough to do when worrying about you, but, his son was so similar to younger him

🍵 The boy would run up to strangers and make them laugh without a care in the world as Mikey would hide himself deeper in a hoodie while you got your son back to you guys

🍵 But, despite many beliefs, he's a decent father

🍵 Mikey would put some things behind and would play with his son, for example, if his son wanted to mess around with some sock puppets and make a story, Mikey would indulge him and mess with him, making his voice deepen and rise for his son's laugh to erupt

🍵 He does have his faults though, as his work can end up making his son mature faster than a child should, or he could end up saying or doing something that upset you, making his son start disconnecting with him

🍵 Overall, he's a 7.5/10 father, he's good in certain situations and bad in others

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✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🔪 Sanzu and you have known one another for years, planting the first time you ever met nearly 10 years prior to this one

🔪 When he went through the years of torturous addictions, whether it be to alcohol or drugs that he somehow got a hold of through means even you didn't know of, you were always there to pull him away

🔪 Because of those issues, he had no idea why you settled for him of all people, you were so beautiful, you could've gotten with any other member of Bonten, maybe even his own boss

🔪 But, you settled with him, the guy who had nearly overdosed from his drugs and alcohol multiple times

🔪 While pushing those hateful thoughts of himself to the back of his brain, Sanzu had gone through multiple attempts of rehabilitation, and after a few failures and your threat of leaving him, he began taking it seriously, he loves you and he needs you to be there

🔪 It took a while, but, once he made it to your first milestone of a year of sobriety, you gave him a reward, which led to something bigger than expected

🔪 You had gotten pregnant, leaving Sanzu is shock, and his brain nearly, nearly, slipped away to him grabbing a large bottle of whiskey and wine mixed with a large bag of his old drugs

🔪 In the midst of his panic-attack, it took Kakucho's words of affirmation with his boss' assurance of him getting a form of paternity leave to just calm him down

🔪 He takes excellent care of you during your pregnancy, and that carried onto him as a father, to a degree, that is

🔪 When you went into labor, he was panicking badly, he had nearly passed out when you began to scream in pain, and during this mass of chaos, the doctor had to usher Ran and Rindou to take him out of the room

🔪 Hearing your screams of agony stop made his heart sink, what happened? Were you okay? How was his baby? Oh God, what if he lost you and the baby?! How would he live with himself?!

" Mr. Haruchiyo, your wife and daughter are in perfect condition. Would you like to come and see them? " " Yes! I- I mean, yes, please. "

🔪 When he held your daughter for the first time, he swore on his life he would protect you guys from everything, including himself. And, that day, he swore to stay sober for good. No fuck ups this time, he couldn't, no, he wouldn't risk harming his child and his own wife

🔪 Ever since your daughter was born, the rest of Bonten began to hide their deals from your home more often, by orders of Mikey, since, he knew how a traumatizing childhood can affect someone

🔪 Sanzu loves to play with her, for example, at just a few months old until she was around maybe seven years old, he would pick her up and toss her in the air for him to catch

🔪 Unlike Mikey, Sanzu doesn't really fear anyone harming his child, if they were a boy that is, he has a full-fledged belief that boys are far more feared than women, so, whenever his daughter starts talking to a stranger, he glares from behind her to make sure that random guy didn't even attempt touching her

🔪 He definitely tries holding back his tears during her first day of school, or really during any massive part of her life, especially when she graduated and moved out, his baby was so old now... he's getting back pain!

" Dad... I'm just moving across the street in another apartment, don't worry! I'll come see you and Mom whenever I can! Please don't cry! " " I'm not crying about that! Your Mother swat a fly earlier, I feel bad for the fly! "

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄���⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

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❤️‍🔥 This guy is the definition of husband and father material, that I cannot deny

❤️‍🔥 When you guys started dating, he always had the idea of your future, from marriage to having children, whenever he would come home from a fight all injured, he would ask you if this was what you really wanted

❤️‍🔥 Did you really want to be with him? For crying out loud, he could get possibly killed at any time! This especially set in when you guys lost Izana (I believe that still happens... correct me if I'm wrong!)

❤️‍🔥 It still shocks him to this day on the fact you married him, he worked for Bonten, a gang very well known for their heinous actions, all members, including Kakucho himself, have done horrible things, how could you look him in the eye, nonetheless propose having children?

❤️‍🔥 You really surprise him at every turn, don't you?

❤️‍🔥 He smiled and gave you the thumbs up. Thankfully, it didn't take very long for you to find out you were pregnant, and as your stomach grew, he read many books on parenthood, he couldn't risk his child having a childhood as rough as he did

❤️‍🔥 When you went into labor, he was scared out of his mind, all of a sudden the floor was wet and you were heaving over in pain, leaving him to carry you bridal-style as he ran to Bonten's doctor

" I think they're in labor, Doctor! " " Girls! Get her in the delivery room, stat! "

❤️‍🔥 Hearing you scream in pain made him flinch as Kokonoi and Takeomi tried keeping him from busting down the door to comfort you

❤️‍🔥 Once the doctor came outside of the room and asked for him to come inside, he burst past the man dressed in scrubs and hugged you as you laid on the bed with a blanket in your arms

❤️‍🔥 You hushed him and held up your baby girl's head, and when your husband laid eyes on his daughter, he began to tear up, he really started crying was when she gripped his finger with her tiny fist

❤️‍🔥 You guys really made this? How surprising is this, huh?

❤️‍🔥 As your son grew up, Kakucho adores messing with her hair, he always had his in a buzz-cut as he grew older, so, whenever she asked for him to braid her hair when she was small, he obliged and gave her such a cute hairstyle!

❤️‍🔥 Kakucho obligates his family in first place alongside his work, though, since he was one of the top four people in Bonten, he got quite busy, but, he always tries pushing it all away as best as he could

❤️‍🔥 Thankfully, Mikey was more lenient with that since he knew of Kakucho's family-oriented life

❤️‍🔥 He is definitely one of the best fathers in the Tokyo Revengers Universe, he wants his child to grow up in a world where they feel wanted, and that roots deep with his own childhood

❤️‍🔥 This guy is also very protective, he's lost so many people, his best friend, Izana, for example

❤️‍🔥 Anyone tries harming his daughter, there will be hell to pay.

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

💰 Kokonoi, much like Kakucho, is still surprised that you wanted to be with him, but, he's also surprised that he was still with you... he believed that after the loss of Akane that he would never love again

💰 Thankfully, when you came into his life during the earlier years of Bonten to help with some issues with relations between gangs, Kokonoi began to bond with you

💰 When he asked you to marry him after a few months of dating and a couple weeks of courting, he remembers exactly how you smiled when you confirmed you wanted the same as him

💰 Kokonoi has enough resources to care for his family, so, when you proposed having children, he wasn't very worried about expenses, this guy knows so many ways of making money that even the richest people in the world would be baffled

💰 He was very excited when you found out you were having a baby, nonetheless when it was found out to be twins

💰 During your early months of pregnancy, he would grab everything for female babies and male babies, since the gender was hard to tell until your fifth month

💰 This guy was on cloud nine when notified you were both genders

💰 Now he doesn't have to worry about Mikey being mad that he bought so much male and female items for these babies

💰 Anyways, when you eventually went into labor, Kokonoi was as calm as a butterfly on the outside, while on the inside he was like a swarm of angry geese, thoughts flying faster than the snitch in Harry Potter

💰 He stayed in the room with you, allowing you to squeeze his hand, despite the immense pain you were bringing to his hands, he probably was getting bruises from your hold

💰 When the sounds of your first baby's cries entered his ears, he swore he forgot all about the pain in his hands, but, when his daughter came out just a few minutes later, his heart swooned

💰 If you've seen Friends, you might be familiar when Frank Jr. ran out to the gang and was yelling about his first child's birth, oh yeah, he definitely does that

" Yes! We have the first one down! I cannot believe I have a son... oh God! I have a Hajime Jr.! " " Has your wife even agreed to that name, Kokonoi? " " Nope! "

💰 Kokonoi held his son, whom you had to turn down his ideas of naming him Hajime Jr., and you held your daughter, and you had to turn down him naming her Sanzu-ia, he loves pissing Sanzu off too much...

💰 As your babies grew up, Kokonoi spoiled them beyond belief, and you had to hold him back from doing something stupid, like buying a TV show because his little baby girl wanted to meet a character she loved

💰 While the two grew up, he, much like Sanzu, cries at mass events for them, but, unlike Sanzu, he doesn't try holding himself back from showing his emotions to his children, prompting their embarrassment and you laughing at their antics

" Dad... please stop crying, God you're so embarrassing me... " " I can't! My babies are growing up so fast! Can you believe that just eighteen years ago you're mother was pushing you out of her- " " DAD! "

[wyzgguk]

04:25AM

• pairing: jungkook x f!reader; established relationship

• warnings: fluff fluff fluff, cursing, making out, suggestive jokes(?), jungkook has two hoop piercings in his mouth (this is a warning in itself), they are so in love for each other

• word count: 653 (this has not been reviewed!)

One of things to date jungkook is always to be prepared to go out with him, most of time in the dawn. Anyone who knows jungkook knows very well that he can turn day into night and that's not a problem for you, far from it, getting up early with jungkook is one of your favorite things in the world to do.

"Oh, they got new flavors of ramen" he says as he browses the shelves analyzing what might be the best late-night snack flavors.

"Don't you think we should choose something else instead? I mean ramen is good but we should change the menu every now and then" you answer quietly, concentrating on holding the basket with the other things your boyfriend has already picked out.

"But the spicy ones are so good, I'd like to try the one with the extra cheese, it looks good" ignoring what you just said, jungkook places the bag of ramen into the basket as you roll your eyes in response with a smile knowing you couldn't go against his childish tastes.

After picking up all the sodium-laden snacks that jungkook couldn't pass up, you focus on seeing which drinks would be best for the occasion. That is until you feel a pair of hands circle your waist and a head land on your shoulder.

"Your ass looked way too nice from this angle and I wouldn't want the cashier looking too much." before you could answer you notice jungkook's arms tighten a little more a kiss is deposited on your neck.

jungkook always says that the cashier at this convenience is "too nice" to you, which you know, but you can't help but laugh every time he's jealous of a guy who absolutely not your type.

"Do you really think he has an eye on me? he's almost asleep in his own drool" turning to hand the basket to jungkook to hold, you chuckle at the grimace your boyfriend makes as he bites his lip piercings, a habit you find attractive.

"I don't care, this guy should have known you haven't been available for a long time" the low tone of jungkook's voice and his arm wrapping around your waist again is enough to feel your lips being captured by his.

kissing jungkook is always the same feeling as when you first kissed, the thrill of feeling the familiar butterflies in your stomach every time and be as happy to know that you are his as he is yours. Maybe that's what being in love is all about.

Feeling his tongue roll across yours, you can't help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull the strands at the back of his neck. If you could describe heaven, it would definitely be like kissing jungkook.

"fuck, i really love your mouth" jungkook whispers still with his lips close to yours not missing the opportunity to leave a peck before pulling away.

"I know" is all you say before grabbing any drink, no longer bothering to see which one would go best with ramen.

You can't get let laugh just as jungkook places the basket on top of the counter, which ends up scaring the cashier who was actually sleeping in his own drool.

"Maybe we could watch a movie when we get home" you hear jungkook say as you focus on the beeping of the products.

"We should sleep after we eat"

"Why? it's still early" you look at your boyfriend who is smiling and giggling knowing if he wanted to he could make you stay up longer.

"You're a pain in the ass" you also know he can be a pain in the ass when he wants to be.

"You don't think I'm a pain in the ass when we're home" and that's enough to tell your boyfriend to shut up before that the conversation gets too intimate in front of the cashier.

•this is an original work by @elitekook, please do not copy, translate or anything like that :)

[coupleoffanfics]

teehee I have a small thought (batfam related, yk that one where y/n gets killed)

imagine if y/n was brought back by the pit, but instead of being a "shell" in that hc u made, she becomes completely stoic, like just blurts out what she was feeling back when she was neglected with the most blank expression ever, I imagine it being more focused on bruce and Damian since yk..bruce was the shittiest parent ever, and Damian with his sparky ass insults.

You…God, damnit Anon. You summoned me and I suddenly have the motivation to write after reading your two requests.

I don't know if you wanted a one-shot or HC. So I just went with a HC because it's much easier to push out. Though if you want me to make a one-shot feel free to ask. I'll take 7 years to write it. Though at the end I did sort of a one-shot.

Damian should have known something was wrong when y/n didn't start thrashing around and attacking anything that moved after crawling out of the pit. She just stared at her hands, clenching them into firsts and then unclenching them slowly.

Maybe Damian was too relieved to see y/n breathing and moving to really care. Maybe he thought that she was just in shock. Coming back to life isn't always expected and it can take a real toll on someone.

Not to mention that y/n was, compared to her brothers, far weaker. Not just physically, but mentally as well. So it's not surprising that she was so docile, right? It's only a matter of time before that effect wears off and she'll be normal. Or something close to normal.

Okay, maybe deep down Damian knew that there was a chance that he wasn't getting y/n back. Everyone knew that there was no getting her back, but he was willing to take the risk. He came this far and it didn't take long for Bruce to pick up on what his youngest was doing.

Damian has his big sister back and he's not going to let her go again. It's only a matter of hours before Bruce comes breaking down the door to drag them back to Gotham. So Damian took the time to clean up y/n.

She was still in her funeral clothes for goodness sake. She reeked of death, but that didn't stop the boy from hugging her tightly.

While getting cleaned up, she doesn't say a thing. Or even make a lot of noise. It was almost like she was still dead.

By the time Bruce gets there, he's not surprised by Damian's actions. He thought of doing the same thing, but he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing. He couldn't disrespect her life by bringing her back. How could he dare think of that when she looked so at peace when she died.

He remembers how her body was tense before it became horrifyingly relaxed. There was a fear of death in those [eye color] eyes, he knows because he saw it. But it was so quick and fleeting that he could have missed it if he wasn't so close.

In a twisted way he wished y/n had clung on to him just like she did when she was a wide eyed little girl and cried. Cry that she didn't want to die. Cry that it was too early to leave now. Cry that she didn't want to leave them.

But all she did was give a crooked smile and mumble to herself as blood dribbled down her chin. She spoke incoherent things to herself. A name or two slipped from her cold lips, but they weren't ones of her family. From what he gathered it was just a close friend and her significant other's name. She died thinking of those who cared and loved her back. Not of the family that she couldn't stand to be around.

Even when her own adopted father held her dying from close, they were far from her line of thought.

So seeing y/n alive was gut reaching for Bruce. There was no pain, anger, sadness, or joy on her face. She was just there. Staring at him with an uncomfortable indifference.

Damian was ready to start a fight with Bruce. Not a physical one, but he would cross that line if he needed to. He was ready to defend himself in what he thought was best for y/n. Yet Bruce lets out a quiet sigh and tells that it's time to come home. How anticlimactic.

The plane ride back to Gotham is long and quiet. It also felt cramped by how close Damian was to y/n and unwilling to give her too much space.

By the time they made it back to the manor, everyone was caught up to date. The development is surprising to some while others not so much.

Everyone is in the bat cave. Gathered around to see y/n back from the dead. The silence is deafening as they wait for something. Just something from her, but she walked past them all. Out of the cave and to where her room was. Nothing was out of place in her room, though it was mostly empty after she had moved out a few years ago. She laid on her bed and slept as if nothing was amiss.

That's where the family infighting starts. Question of was this the right thing. What are going to do now? Why the hell did you think this was a good idea? There's going to be a lot of hash words being shared, but at the end of the day what was done was done and they had y/n back. They weren't going to mess up the second time.

Did they really get a second chance because it didn't feel like it. A week would pass and y/n has yet to come out of her room. She's alive and breathing because the trays of food left outside her door are always empty.

The camera's installed while she slept showed that she was doing nothing. All she did was lay in bed. She'd get up to use her private bathroom, but other than that there wasn't much. She was rotting away alone in her room.

This rang familiar bells in Alfred, Bruce, and Tim's head. y/n wasn't prone to long depressive episodes, so this could be something similar. The lack of socializing and excessive oversleeping was typically a big red sign for them to do something. In the past they would not force, but push her into doing social things or at least being out of her room.

They could approach this situation the same way, but they'd have to be extra careful. This was a unique and tricky situation to be in. It was also odd if not worrying that she hasn't succumbed to lazarus fever.

They could try to bribe y/n out of her room with activities that have to do with her old hobbies.

"Alfred is baking today, he said might need some help."

"I just stole the keys to the batmobile, you wanna take it for a ride?"

"Hey, do you want to…um, play a video game with me. I remember we used to play Hellflight Deadcraze a lot. They came out with the 3rd game. I just bought it today, so...Yeah."

Though the likelihood of that working is low. If they're really desperate to interact with her, they might as well just bust down her door.

At some point all the poking and prodding is going to irritate y/n. Whoever popped her bubble is going to be on the receiving end of pent up emotions.

I don't believe y/n would ever intentionally say how much the family's treatment harmed her. Again it would bubble up and fester for a while before she explodes. The thing about y/n is that she has an inferiority complex. In her life she aimed to please and help.

She understands that Gotham is dangerous. A lot of people need help and she couldn't bring herself to pull them away from their job. To her it would be like pulling a fireman away from a fire to chat as people burned alive. Even if the fire was out the fireman would be tired and need to rest, so she couldn't just pull them wherever she wanted to go. She shouldn't pester them.

In y/n's eyes, she was never worthy of being a hero because she wasn't good enough. She was never worthy of being with the family because she wasn't helping enough. She should do this to prove her worth. She's not worthless because she can do this for you and this as well!

She embodies inferiority and self-loathing. Someone that feels insignificant and has the strong urge to do more. She has- or had in this situation, hope. Hope that she'll be worthy of love. Love, affection, praise is what drives her and will seek it out if she's desperate. If she does ask or seek it out she'll be feeling guilty since she didn't really do anything to get it. In her mind she was being greedy and she couldn't help herself.

Bonus

"Just stop. Leave me alone." Her voice was almost pleading as she gripped the wrapped gift box. The gift was a symbol of peace, almost a treaty. That's all it was supposed to be, but she acts as if she had been spat in the eye.

Seeing that Bruce wasn't listening to her, she dug her nails into the gift. Almost tearing into the [favorite color] wrapped paper. He stood before her like an unmoving entity. The longer he stood by the more she wanted to snap into herself. She didn't want to slowly curl into a ball. She wanted to snap herself together with a violent and almost sickening crack. This just wasn't fair.

Clenching her jaw, her voice became much colder. It wasn't as cold as the middle of winter, yet it still had a chill to it.

"I thought you'd get it that I didn't want this. I shut you out, but you- all of you just keep buzzing. None of you are getting the hint. You just keep coming back louder than before. Why can't you let me be alone? Why can't you act overworked and tired? Why can't you just leave things the way they were?"

Bruce was conflicted upon hearing her say that and would try to claim that everything is going to come around. Everything always comes around in the end and this wouldn't be any different. They are going to get through this as a family.

y/n's frown would deepen and her eyes would furrow at his attempt at comfort. She looks as if she just ate something that was expired, leaving her mouth with nothing but a nasty sour taste.

"Because we're family." She whispered to herself before almost grimacing at the words. Her voice became sharp and cold as a blade, "I don't understand why you'd suggest that I was still a part of the family. I don't think I've been family for a good while now."

She clicked her tongue as she dropped the gift box while looking Bruce in the eyes. "Come on, you can't say you cared about me after I stopped being useful. When did you realize that I wasn't anything special? Was it when I kept crying about punching villains or when I was too slow to teach."

Seeing the conflicted look in his blue eyes confused her. Why would the truth conflict someone unless it was pity. Even after all this she's just a pitiful little crybaby to him. One good hit and she's out wailing on the floor for someone to kiss her boo-boo away.

Somehow this hurt her. Her pounding heart felt like it was twisting on itself. She wanted to cry and laugh at how she thought things couldn't get any worse. Then somehow it did. The universe, the world, the Wayne had proved her wrong yet again. It was as funny as it was sad.

She could have broken down there, but she needed to hear it. She had to hear the truth, so she kept twisting her heart with her own hands. It didn't matter how much it hurt.

"Or maybe you were in denial? You had wasted a lot of time and resources on a dud. Then Damian threw cold water on you and left you shivering, right? I'm just leeching off of you and the others. Then…Then you choose them over me. I was an afterthought, or is that being too generous? Did I ever circulate in your mind before this?"

Her voice was becoming shrill and gruff like she was on the verge of tears. "When did you realize that I was dead weight, Batman? Did I make Bruce Wayne look more caring to the people when I talk about how much I love my family? Did my life serve any use or was I always just a speck of dirt on your shoes?"

Those words were far from the truth, yet with how she spoke Bruce knew that she believed in all that she was saying. Each and every word was true to her. Honestly he didn't know what to say. This was all too much. Having to hear your own child degrade themselves with such honesty was heartbreaking.

Taking his silence as a sort of confirmation, y/n ordered him to leave and of course he did. He'd fix this somehow. He just needed time. They needed time.

I cut off the ending because I didn't want to write too much. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it. I haven't proofread this, Google Doc says there aren't any errors (probably a lie), and it's 3 in the morning. Goodnight.

[leebrontide]

I ever tell y'all about the South African nun I used to work with?

She's the only nun I have ever personally known. No idea how good of an example she is. I'm guessing she's an outlier in many respects.

She had a masters in social work, and worked very hard at the addiction counseling center I used to work with. All her paycheck went to supporting the order. She was, indeed, a bit severe for my taste sometimes. I guess she followed the stereotype in that way.

But I was under the distinct impression she joined the order to help protect her from retribution for her anti-apartheid activism. Don't get me wrong, she was a big fan of Jesus, but she also used to sneak out of the convent when she was young to go clubbing. The met the Pope in jeans.

When I decided to be a good ally to deaf folks by being honest when I couldn't make out what someone was saying (lol. That was a learning experience) she was the first person to offer to tutor me in ASL. (First of 4. Turns out I'm kinda deaf.)

She was AGGRESSIVELY pro queer. Like if someone said something homophobic in her presence they were IN FOR IT.

And one time, she was called in for jury duty, and she was gone for over a month. Which, to be fucking honest, was a massive pain in the ass for the rest of us, who had to cover her work. At the end she came back, looking absolutely smug. Apparently they'd put her holy but on a jury looking to convict a young trans woman of something that, if you listened to anybody but the cops, she was obviously being framed for.

The prosecution pushed hard. Several jurors were willing to convict.

But this sweet, holy troll not only gave her entire paycheck from her work to the convent, her entire living came from her order. Which meant, out of the whole jury, she was the only one who could sit there in deliberation indefinitely without loosing a cent. And she sat her ass down and argued and protested and refused to budge until this girl was officially not guilty.

None of us were irritated for her being gone so long.

She didn't always know the right words, and she didn't understand everything, but she knew the main thing- take people at their word, and trust that they know their experiences and their selves better than you do. And she was always very kind about asking me questions that might irritate.

The final thing that won her my heart tho, actually came after I was fired from that job for, frankly, being disabled. Which you'd think would be illegal but since the manager had kindly offered me what looked like a good deal, to let me go contract instead of salary, for more flexible hours, they'd talked me into signing away many of my worker's protections. So, they could get away with it.

And this nun marched right into my boss's boss's office and blasted her with the full force of her catholic guilt beam. Or however that works. I don't know. I'm not Catholic. Boss-boss was reportedly in tears. As frankly she should be! Ableism in a therapy setting is a special level of evil. Common, but still evil.

I have no point, I was just thinking fondly of her this evening, and how sometimes your allies aren't where you expect them to be.

[joeshiestyslover]

pretty when you cry- c. sturniolo

pairing: toxicbf! chris sturniolo x reader

summary: you know chris doesn’t treat you well and that you should leave him, but you can’t help but stay. chris is well aware of this and wants to treat you better, but he just can’t. after all, you’re just so pretty when you cry.

warnings: so much angst, language, mentions of sex, drug use, chris is an awful bf

masterlist

lowercase intended

a/n: lana del rey + chris is just so 🤭

you felt as if you were slowly dying. all the life that you once held inside you slowly fading away until you were nothing but an empty shell of your former self. you used to be so happy and full of life, never seen without a smile on your face. now, you look sullen, with dark circles under your eyes and a permanent frown tugging on your lips.

everyone asks you what could have possibly happened to make you change so much in such a short amount of time. you always reply with “work is taking a toll on me” or “my boss is a pain in my ass”, but each lie is bigger than the last. you know the source of your constant pain. it’s your boyfriend, christopher sturniolo.

chris used to be the best boyfriend a girl like you could ever ask for: caring, compassionate, funny, etc. the list was endless, and to you, he was perfect. until six months ago.

chris became a completely different person. he was no longer the sweet, charming boy you fell in love with two years ago. instead, he was an angry, violent monster. nights you would spend at his house, filled with sweet nothings and soft giggles were now filled with harsh screams and glass breaking. days that consisted of talking and laughing, were now occupied with silence because you were both still angry about the night before. the once soft, loving sex was now replaced with rough, violent fucking. everything had changed between you, and all you wanted was for you two to go back to how you were a year ago, when everything seemed perfect.

you know that chris is doing drugs, you’ve known for months. every time you try to bring it up to him, it ends in a screaming match, and you storming out the front door. his brothers have tried to get him to stop, yet he refuses, saying it’s the only thing that gets him out of bed anymore.

your heart is slowly breaking, for both you and him. you know you should leave him for good, but you can’t. you love him too much to lose him.

on the other hand, chris knows how badly he’s been treating you and that you deserve so much better than him. however, he knows deep down that you’ll never leave him, so he never truly changes, despite the many promises he’s made that he would.

this leads to a continuous cycle of love and pain. you get fed up with how he treats you, so you confront him. you fight for hours before chris finally breaks down, telling you how much he regrets causing you so much pain and promising he’ll do better. he gets clean for a while and just when everything is beginning to look hopeful, he crashes and burns. he falls back into his old habits once again. then, the cycle continues, leaving you trapped.

you’ve lost count of the amount of times chris has promised to be better and get clean. right now, you and chris are arguing for probably the hundredth time about the same damn topic: him saying he’ll get clean, but he never does.

“this isn’t okay christopher! you have to understand where i’m coming from! i’m worried about you! i’m scared for you!” you yell. “i don’t need you to worry y/n! i’m fine! stop treating me like i’m a child!” he yells back in your face. you feel helpless. you’ve tried everything to help him, but he just won’t accept it. “you’re gonna kill yourself one day! can you even imagine what that would do to me?! to your brothers?! to your parents?! i just-” “don’t fucking bring my family into this!” chris cuts you off. you sigh and run your fingers through your hair. “look,” you start, lowering your voice. “you know i love you chris, but this is terrifying. i have to watch you slowly destroy yourself and i can’t do anything about it because you won’t let me help you.” “it’s because i don’t need your help! i’m doing perfectly fine! it’s not my fault that you want to make everyone else miserable just because you are!” your jaw drops. “i’m miserable because you’re making me miserable! i’m not this person! i’m not full of constant anxiety! i’m not constantly suffering! it’s you chris! i’m like this because of you! because of how you’ve been acting for the past year!” you scream hopelessly. you sit down on the couch in chris’ living room, trying to calm down and compose your thoughts.

“well if you’re so fucking miserable, then just leave, y/n!” you freeze and look up at him. he had never suggested you leave him before. “what?” you ask softly, hoping you heard him wrong. “if i’m so horrible to you, then you can leave! i’m not gonna stop you!” chris waves his arms around frantically.

without another word, you stand up from the couch and walk toward the front door, grabbing your phone and car keys on the way out. you open the door, walk out, then slam it closed. speed walking to your car, you try to keep your tears at bay, but you fail miserably. as soon as you get in and shut the door, the silent tears turn into heart wrenching sobs. trying to calm yourself, you put your car in reverse and back out of the driveway. you have no idea where you’re going to go, but anywhere is better than here.

you end up at a parking lot of a fast food restaurant, but not just any restaurant. it’s the same one where you and chris went out on your first date. you both didn’t want to go anywhere fancy, so you decided on grabbing fast food. you begin to cry even more at the memories of that night. you can’t help but remember how sweet he was and how much he cared for you. how the hell did it come to this? how did you get here?

everything in you is telling you to leave chris for good. you can’t keep going on like this. you love chris so much, more than you’ve ever loved anyone, but he’s slowly killing you from the inside out.

you decide to go back home and tell chris it’s over. you take a deep breath and begin driving. on the way there, the memories of you and chris are on a constant loop in your mind:

your first date,

chris had picked you up outside of your house that night, refusing to tell you where you were going, claiming it was a surprise. before you knew it, he had pulled into the mcdonald’s parking lot. “chris are we at a mcdonald’s right now?” you asked. “well, you said that your favorite restaurant was mcdonald’s so voila, here we are.” chris smiled at you. you laugh and throw your head back. “but if you wanna go somewhere fancier then i’m sure i can squeeze in a reservation-” “chris this is perfect. as long as it’s with you i don’t care where we go.” you smile at him, putting your hand on his arm.

your first kiss,

it was your third date, and you were sure you were in love with chris. he was the perfect guy. the date had gone perfectly, you had gone to a park and just sat on a bench and talked about anything and everything. at the end of the night, he walked you to your door. “tonight was amazing chris. thank you.” you smiled up at him. “y/n, i really like you and you make me laugh. i was wondering if i could be your boyfriend?” he asked you nervously while shifting on the balls of his feet. your smile grew even wider. “i would love to be your your boyfriend chris.” you reached your hand up to cup his cheek. chris leaned his head down to brush his lips against yours. “can i kiss you?” he whispered. you nodded, and before you knew it, he smashed his lips against yours.

the first time he told you he loved you.

you both were lying in chris’ bed watching bridgerton. after much convincing, he had finally agreed to watch it with you, and of course, he loved it. you were watching the episode where edwina left anthony at the altar, and you were hooked even though you had already watched the show a countless amount of times. you felt a pair of eyes boring into the side of your head, and looked up to see chris staring at you, disregarding the show in front of him. “chris? are you okay?” you asked him. “i love you.” he blurted out. “what?” you were shocked. those three words were the last thing you expected to come from chris’ mouth. “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, i just needed you to know.” you reached up and pressed your lips against his. “i love you too chris.” you both smiled at each other and kissed once more.

all the good memories made you yearn for chris, but you know nothing will ever be the same. he’s not your chris anymore, he’s someone else entirely. he had made himself a stranger to you.

once you get home, you pull into the driveway and get out. you’re shaking with anxiety at this point. you notice the door is unlocked, so you turn the handle and walk inside. you can hear the tv going in chris’ room, so you know he’s in there. you shakily exhale before stepping inside. you immediately make a beeline for the closet, not bothering to look at chris.

“you’re back already, huh?” he speaks up. you ignore him as you rifle through the closet until you find your overnight bag. you throw it on the bed as you take as many clothes as you can carry and shove them into it. “y/n, what are you doing?” chris asks nervously. “i’m leaving chris. you don’t want my help that’s fine, but you can’t expect me to just stand and watch as you fall apart. i can’t do that.” you can’t even look at him because you know you’ll break once you do.

“baby” he begins as he makes his way towards you. “baby look at me please.” chris reaches out and cups your cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth. you can’t help yourself and look up into his blue eyes. the same ones you fell in love with, and for a moment, you saw a glimpse of the sweet boy you fell in love with. “i didn’t mean anything i said. it was so stupid of me to tell you to leave. i love you so much. i’ll do anything to keep you. i’ll get clean and i promise i’ll do better. i’ll be a better man for you just please don’t leave.” chris begins to beg. you don’t want to give in to his empty promises, but you can’t help yourself. you love him too much to leave. “promise?” you ask weakly. “i promise baby, i’ll never hurt you again, i swear.” he complies. you smile at him before leaning up to capture his lips with yours. after a while, he breaks away. “you know i love you, even if i get aggressive sometimes, yeah? i’m just not good at showing it, but you know i love you. you know that right, y/n?” you want to believe him so badly, but deep down you know that this is just the beginning of the cycle you’ve found yourself trapped in for months. you’re just waiting for it to get bad again. “yeah i know baby.” you tell him softly, not even believing your own words. chris smiles slightly before kissing you again. to be honest, chris doesn’t believe himself either, but he wants to try, for you. and if everything goes south again, then it’s a good thing you’re pretty when you cry.

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 11

you’ve been such a pain in my ass.

you’re the most fascinating person i’ve ever known.

can you stop needing to be the hero here?

people don’t just disappear. 

we are saying goodbye. just not to each other. we’re saying goodbye to everything else, our old lives.

everything that kept us safe is gone.

i would rather prepare for the worst before the worst happens.

i am basically 100% headache right now.

you’re the only one who ever let me feel normal.

maybe i suck too. i just don’t know how yet.

i’m not choosing anyone. i’m choosing work over play.

doesn’t it feel like everyone wants us to be someone we’re not?

a sleepover? am i invited?

it has to be you. you’re all we’ve got.

you know me. we know each other.

it’s called keeping up with the times, asshole.

but fuck all of you, and i mean that.

people don’t usually follow my lead, if you know what i mean.

there’s nothing wrong with us.

i want your point of view on things.

you’re killing me. you get that, right? that’s what you’re asking me. to die for you.

i’ll follow your rules. that’s all you get.

i’d love to trade witty one-liners with you.

you’re the worst. you know that, right?

today is the first time in my life that feels like the right time.

there is a point to everything. there are answers.

god doesn’t just play games with people for fun.

the sun just keeps coming up every day, and you can’t cry forever. 

you have to have hope, don’t you? because who knows. maybe tomorrow.

you don’t get to decide what matters.

a lot of what’s happening is us being scared, and alone, and bored. so we do scary things to each other, we hurt each other. 

it’s like she wants to turn the whole world upside down.

who’s been there for you more than me?

bullshit. we’re not the same person.

you didn’t pick me. because you didn’t think i belonged.

if i had to pick anyone in the world when things got bad, i’d pick you.

this isn’t about us. this has nothing to do with us.

there is no us. because of everything.

i love you. i know i don’t always show it, but i do. i love you.

the universe does not care about your love life.

i’m not sad. i’m pissed off.

you say too many things you don’t mean.

i’ve thought a lot about dying. i’ve gotten used to that. but i don’t like to be afraid.

sometimes when i’m angry, i want to hurt people.

i’m worried that i’m not real.

all you can do is have an advantage, and this is mine. it’s all i have.

what i did is not the worst crime in the world.

given everything, can’t i get a tiny break?

why? what’s so special about me?

are we going to fight each other over food? that’s fucking crazy.

you can live wherever you want, just not with me.

we should get some food, before it’s all gone.

what if things don’t go back to the way they were?

don’t give me a fucking speech. you have no idea.

i guess i can learn to get along with a few more people.

what’s so hard about being honest with yourself?

it’s been ten days. i’m not the same person i was.

if there are things that need to be done, i want to do them.

there are no sides anymore.

you’re the best decision i’ve ever made.

we’re the same. you have to stick with your own.

i’m scared, and i have to take care of myself.

i live in your shadow, and now you suddenly want to disappear?

you know that you’re the love of my life? and whatever comes after this.

if this is it, this is where i want to be. i mean not here, but with you. you’re where i want to be.

i was a different person before we fell in love.

thank you. for loving me. 

right now, we could use all the love we can get. 

you get scared, and you get mean.

is this how you want to spend the time you have left? always looking over your shoulder?

you’re giving me a headache instead of having my back.

it’s just, sometimes i know what i want, i just don’t know how to say it.

the only feelings that anyone cares about are yours. 

people keep dying around me.

i feel really lucky to have you. you’re my rock.

the end is none of your business.

i like you exactly the way you are.

i’m so sick of feeling different from everyone else.

after “fuck you,” i don’t have much.

i think about you too much.

i don’t think about you.

i’m not scared. i’m just realistic.

it feels like i’ve been starting forever.

no one cares about the best player on the worst team.

i’m tired of losing. i just don’t know what to do.

that’s hopelessly romantic. and this isn’t hopeless.

i haven’t been happy all year. why start now?

i’m sorry i can’t turn off my feelings whenever you want.

seems like everything i do hurts your feelings.

i care about you. i just don’t know how to prove it.

i like who i am in your eyes. i like how you see me.

i’m not sure i like myself in a relationship.

i’m way easier to replace.

when it ends, it’ll hurt.

the right thing is just to be here with you.

death is not beautiful, it’s final.

i keep failing everyone, and i don’t know what to do.

i don’t feel sad. i feel numb.

i ask people if they’re all right too much.

you never needed me. you needed someone.

i made myself sick to make you feel better.

this whole time i thought it was dying, but it’s living what scares you

you’re afraid to commit, and i need constant validation. 

you don’t belong here. not after what you did.

there is no mystery here. nothing to avenge.

i made a wish, and it came true, and i couldn’t take it back.

he was a bad person and a worse father. the world is better off without him.

you never know when to stop, do you?

you do whatever it takes to survive. or you die.

you think i didn’t try everything to get back to my family?