#should be way less stressful for the rest of the year tho!

[rhodophoria]

progress!

i'm having to rewrite and reorganize chapter 3 'cause i wasn't super pleased with it but i'm hoping to be on track to post sometime this week. we'll see 🤞

[vintagebunnies]

animals

eddie munson x fem!reader

Eddie insisted on taking you somewhere away from home without telling you, but the ride was unexpectedly long. (2.7k)

fem!reader, dom/sub, slight choking (not rlly tho), mean dom!eddie, car sex, kinda rough sex, 18+ only!

this fic was heavily based off of ‘animals’ by nickelback! give the song a listen if you’d like <3

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Driving down the unpaved roads of Hawkins, tall trees surrounding both sides of the road, and the setting sun peaking through the cracks of each branch.

Eddie offered the idea that you both drive out of town, somewhere far off from home. At first you were skeptical about the idea; not wanting to be too far from work or home.

But Eddie being the person he was, he was persistent on constantly bringing up the suggestion. That brings you to now, sitting in Eddie’s aged van with no clue how long you’ve been driving for. If you were to guess, you’d say maybe an hour and a half, but it felt longer.

“Do you have any idea where you’re going? We’ve been driving for what feels like years,” You said restlessly.

“Relax babe, of course I know where I’m going,” Eddie looked over to you with a small smile on his face.

You gave Eddie a look, a stare that said you’re lying to me.

Eddie laughed breathlessly, resting his right hand on your thigh. “I promise you’re gonna love where I’m takin’ you, it’s away from all the stress and bullshit back home,”

You grinned, placing your hand over his hand. Eddie always had his own way to make you feel special, either it be something small or something like this. Always worrying about your well-being. You loved him endlessly for it.

But then there were other things he did to make you feel extra special. This involved a lot less clothes and a more secluded room, away from the public.

About thirty minutes have passed by, and Eddie’s hand has started to travel a bit closer to your inner thigh. He didn’t realize it, just something that happened with the twists and turns his van made throughout the roads leaving Hawkins.

Every squeeze Eddie’s hand made on your thigh, a dull throb would pulse throughout your core. You tried to squeeze your thighs together to alleviate the ache, but his hand was stopping you.

The constant feeling was slowly gnawing at you, an annoyance that wouldn’t stop unless you did something about it. You slowly started to stroke your hand up and down Eddie’s arm, catching his attention.

“What is it sweetheart?” Eddie was absolutely oblivious, still keeping both eyes on the road ahead.

“Nothin’.” Your answer was short and quiet, analyzing the slope of Eddie’s nose and the fullness of his lips.

“I think we should pull over,” You said, halting your hand on Eddie’s arm.

“Why? You feelin’ okay?” Eddie turned to look at you, eyebrows furrowed.

He was so cute, you just wanted to squish his face and kiss him all over.

You leaned over the center console, placing your hand on his thigh, dangerously close to his crotch. “Just fine, but if you did what I asked I’d feel sooo much better.”

You knew as soon as everything was over you’d feel extremely embarrassed and want to bury yourself in a hole for saying anything like that, but you were so horny and you couldn’t help it.

“Oh- oh.” Eddie finally caught on.

He just laughed it off. “Baby, we’re in the middle of nowhere I can’t just pull over,”

“But you can,” You laid your hand directly over his crotch now, slightly squeezing. His breath sped up.

Eddie just cleared his throat and brought his hand over yours, clutching your hand and cutting off your squeezing.

You knew that if you were to pull over on this road, you wouldn’t be able to do anything inconspicuously. Even if it is a fairly empty area, if someone were to drive by they’d be able to tell exactly what’s going on within the van’s interior.

“Seriously, you keep doing this and I’m gonna drive into a ditch.” His voice started to sound strained.

You responded with a sigh and dropped yourself back into the seat.

“Fine, I’ll take care of it myself then.” You uttered, already unbuttoning your pants.

Eddie had to do a double take, not expecting your sudden surge of confidence.

“Really? You’re gonna distract me, you can’t-“

“But I can, and will.”

“Sweetheart-“

“Keep driving.”

At that, Eddie started to frantically search around for anywhere to pull over, away from possible prying eyes. With no luck of finding private space, he abruptly pulled over on the side of the road, trying to stay as far from the lane as much as he could.

Your eyes were wide, pants halfway down your legs. “Eddie, what the fuck!”

Eddie stayed silent, just grabbing your wrist and ceasing your movements.

“You wanted me to pull over, right?” He paused to grab your jaw and bring your faces closer, noses touching. “Then I suggest you stop trying to touch yourself, and get the fuck over here.”

His rapid mood change gave you whiplash. Not expecting him to give in and just keep driving. You could feel your slick dripping down your thighs by now, you were sure you were positively soaked.

Kicking your pants off the rest of the way, you threw a leg over Eddie’s lap, seating yourself directly over his throbbing cock. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck, bringing your lips together and viciously kissing your lips.

A gasp escaped you from the ferocity of it all, making you grind down on his lap.

Both of your tongues were fighting for dominance, a dance with spit and teeth. Drool dripping from the seams of your mouths, dragging a wet trail to your chin.

“Wait- what if we do get caught?” You pulled away, breathless.

“Now you’re worried? What happened to that confidence before, huh?” He moved his hand from the back of your neck to the front.

“That’s pathetic, baby.” He snickered, going right back to ruthlessly making out with you.

You seized the hair at his nape, yanking and making him groan into the kiss. He let go of your neck, trailing it down your front and landing right on the waistband of your panties, pulling it taut and snapping it against your skin. It left a residual sting that made you jump. That small action made you want more of his madness, crave him even more.

You went to push his heavy leather jacket off his shoulders, Eddie assisting you when you couldn’t fully remove it. Once it was off you made work on his shirt, tugging it over his head and throwing it elsewhere.

Eddie pulled away, gasping for breath. “Get on your knees for me, sweetheart.”

You didn’t have to be asked twice, crawling down his body and placing yourself right in between the seat and the wheel, his knees bracketing your upper body.

Your teeth were digging into your bottom lip, struggling to get the handcuff buckle loose from his hips.

“I can’t- can’t get this stupid fucking buckle-“

Eddie placed his hands over yours, laughing at your eagerness and undoing his belt himself.

“There, you can do the rest.” He was looking down at you.

You unbuttoned and pulled the zipper down on his jeans, feeling your mouth salivate at his obvious bulge. Eddie lifted his hips to assist you in removing his pants.

You kissed down the trail of hair under his navel and kissed over his clothed cock. Eddie was stroking the back of your head, grabbing a chunk of your hair when you were taking too long.

“Not in the mood for teasing, babe, get on with it,” Eddie asserted.

You looked up at him through your lashes then finally pulled his boxers down. His cock bobbed up, now being released from the confines of his underwear you can see that he very much was not not affected by your slow pace.

A pearl of precum dripped from the head, you kitten licked around the tip before fully enveloping him in your mouth. He still had his hand in your hair, grip not letting up, trying to push your head lower.

You granted his wish and took him all the way down to the hilt, not without resistance though. Tears pricked the outer corners of your eyes, and your brows were furrowed.

You looked up to see Eddie’s eyes blissfully closed, and his head was leaning back against the headrest. Seeing Eddie filled with pleasure you were delivering him made you throb.

You brought one of your hands down to relieve the almost painful feeling in between your thighs, only rubbing your clit a few times before Eddie noticed. He pulled your hair harder and pushed your head further down, your nose now buried in the thatch of hair on his pelvis.

“Did I say you can touch yourself?” His voice was quiet, but he still held authority.

All you could do was whine, reluctantly dragging your hand away from your core, trying to clench your thighs tighter together.

You instead brought your hand under Eddie’s cock, squeezing his balls. You moved your mouth up and down his cock, swirling your tongue over his head.

He groaned at this, thrusting his hips up to meet your mouth.

Eddie could feel himself stumbling closer to his release, pulling your mouth away from his cock, a string of spit connecting you two together. His grip on your hair loosened a bit, but he used the slight leverage to bring you up closer to his face and smashing your lips together.

He could taste himself on your tongue, biting into your lips.

He eventually pulled back, cheeks flushed and sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Get in the back.” He said, short and quick.

You quickly complied, making your way to the back, yelping when Eddie landed a quick smack on your panty covered ass.

The back of his van wasn’t the cleanest, bags of chips and empty beer cans strewn all over the back and a few blankets and throw pillows decorated the back.

You made quick work of your shirt, throwing it somewhere you were sure you wouldn’t be able to find later.

Eddie climbed over to the back, now completely bare of his clothes. You tried to pull your panties down over your ass and hips when Eddie grasped the back of your knees and pulled you forward, making you gasp.

He was hovering over you now, a shit eating smirk adorning his face, and his eyes completely black.

He didn’t say anything, just bent over to kiss and bite at your neck, his hands traveling around your waist and finally yanking your ruined undergarment off of your body. The state of your panties didn’t go unnoticed.

“What’s this, huh? You're dripping all over the blanket sweetheart,” He dragged his fingers through your slit, making you moan.

“Please, Eddie, please..” You felt like you just ran a marathon, completely out of breath.

“Did I make you wait too long baby? Need me to help you?” He voiced.

You wanted to slap him across the face for the constant teasing, but you loved it either way.

You just nodded at his question.

Eddie descended lower, his head now in between your thighs, you could feel the warmth from his breath all over your cunt, making you clench around nothing.

He kissed everywhere but where you wanted him most. Your thighs, your mound.

You dropped your head onto the van's floor in frustration.

“I don’t know what you want, mind tellin’ me?” He tilted his head coquettishly.

“You know what I want Eddie, just please- please do something,” Your eyes were half lidded, tilting your head to the side to get a better view of his face.

“Hm, I don’t think I do actually,”

“I want your mouth-“ Your words were cut off to a quiet gasp.

Eddie saved you from further embarrassment and connected his mouth to your swollen clit with a laugh. He brushed his tongue over the bead, swiping figure eights.

“Shit- just like that Eddie!” Your hands were caught in his hair, gripping a chunk just like he did to you.

Eddie moaned against your cunt, the vibrations adding to the stimulation and making your thighs close around his head. He started to drag his tongue from your hole to your clit. Your back arched.

He brought his middle finger up to your clenching hole and slowly pushed inside. Your teeth were leaving indents in your bottom lip.

Eddie upped his pace, crooking his fingers upwards and hitting that certain spot at the end of you. Your walls were constantly clenching around his finger, arousal and spit mixing together.

You could feel your release slowly approaching, your grip on his hair getting tighter.

Eddie let out a quiet ‘mm’, and that did you in.

You came around his finger, Eddie lapping up your release. His pace on your cunt came to a slow stop, letting you ride it out.

Eddie crawled his way back up your body, leaving a wet trail of kisses from your belly to your neck. He made his way back to your lips, you moaning at the taste of your release on his lips. You let go of his hair, holding his face against yours.

Eddie’s hard cock was resting against your cunt, slowly thrusting through your folds and groaning against your lips.

“You gonna let me fuck you now?” He mumbled, his gaze flicking from your lips to your eyes.

“Yeah,” Your response was almost a whisper, wrapping your legs around his hips loosely.

Eddie rested his head against your shoulder, grabbing his cock and lining it up with your hole, breaching the tip through the ring of muscle. Eddie was leaving small kisses around your collarbones while he slowly pushed in, easing you from the stretch.

Once he was halfway he sat up straight, grabbing onto your hips.

“You’re takin’ me just fine, sweetheart,” It was like a switch flipped in his head, the short moment of him being soft changed quickly.

He pushed all the way in, making you gasp, taking a hold of his forearms. His pace didn’t accelerate, but he made deep thrusts which took your breath away every time his hips met yours.

Eddie was staring down at where you two were connected, mouth slightly agape. He took his hands off of your hips in favor of the back of your thighs. He gripped the plush flesh and pushed them upwards to your chest. At that, his thrusting pace gradually got faster, taking your breath away every time.

“Yeah, you fucking like that, don’t you?” Eddie’s words were chopped up, the speed of his plunging shaking up his words.

You knew you couldn’t respond. The pleasure was overwhelming you, like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer. You just stuck to nodding.

Eddie seemed content with your response as he just grinned down at you and continued. His hard cock slipping in and out of you, leaving your slick and release pooling under you.

“You can give me one more,” Eddie took his hand off of your thigh, instead bringing it down and rubbing your clit with his thumb.

The added stimulation made you clench around him and let out a guttural groan, his rough hand bringing you immense pleasure.

Eddie almost collapsed when you clenched around him, moaning out loud. His thumb on your clit got faster, gliding more furiously. Each clench you made around him got him closer to cumming.

You brought your hands up to clutch the blankets surrounding your head, grinding your hips into the feeling. You met Eddie’s rough hand with each thrust.

One last thrust into your walls and Eddie came with a deep groan. The warmth of his spend coating your walls sent you over the edge, cumming on his cock with a squeal.

Both of you were panting, chests heaving with every gulp of air you took, releasing the blankets from your hands and Eddie letting go of your leg.

Eddie collapsed over you, making you let out an ‘oof’ from his weight.

“We are so lucky we didn’t get caught.” You managed to let out.

Eddie just chuckled, you could feel puffs of his breath against the side of your neck.

“Is now a good time to tell you I actually don’t know where we’re going?”

If no one caught you guys during the midst of sex, they definitely heard you scolding Eddie.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

my boy only breaks his favourite toys — lewis hamilton x nico rosberg (full work)

chapter 4 - unforgettable

tags: mentions of mental disorders, dirty talk, smut

summary: when lewis and nico ended they relationship and when some years later realize it never actually ended

note: finally a less angsty chapter lol. I will probably keep this going but I won’t update as often. I have other contents upcoming from the requests tho

Nico came to his house some days later to give him his hat back. They had sex. That was the last time and they knew it.

Some months later they fought again over a race. In his driver’s room Nico even took him from the Mercedes overalls and angrily pushed him against the wall. They ended up kissing, but this time it was Lewis who put an end to it. “No, not this time. No more mind games, Nico. It’s over.” And he left.

He was convinced Nico was trying to mess with his head with all that push and pull, that purposely hitting him and then saying sorry, making him forgiving everything, and then again being ruthless on the race track. That was the last straw.

Lewis was remembering those final words as they were said yesterday, laying on the bed the night after the conversation with Nico. He was so angry. Why telling him all that right now? Now that Nico had a wife and daughters, now that they didn’t talk for years after he left the team, now that he thought he had finally moved on. He began to think he never actually did, because he never dealt with his feelings after the break up. He couldn’t lie to himself, he wished that kiss would’ve last longer. He wished Nico would’ve stayed longer. Now he couldn’t get his pretty face out of his head. That wasn’t news of course, he had often dreamt about him, but now that they kissed in real life, after a period that seemed short and endless at the same time, it was definitely something else. The thought of having him again was tormenting him, preventing him to fall asleep. Not even music could help: every song reminded him of him. That damn german couldn’t really keep himself away from him, couldn’t he?

The day after he felt so tired he couldn’t even do his morning exercises. He felt like shit. Anger turned into pain and longing for a different life. A life were him and Nico were still together, as friends, as teammates, as husbands. He tried to rest in the morning and after lunch he went out for a run anyway. He prayed not meet Nico somewhere along the way and fortunately it didn’t happen. When he came back he was exhausted. He went to the building’s lodge to collect the mail. He noticed a letter that didn’t look familiar at all. Lewis never received letters. The adressee was undoubtedly him, but when he opened it to discover who the sender was, he found Nico Rosberg’s name written on the inside.

“This must be a mistake.” Lewis turned to the doorman. “Maybe I should put it back in Mr and Mrs Rosberg’s mailbox.”

“It’s no mistake, Sir Lewis.” Replied the doorman. “And by the way, they’re not married anymore.”

Lewis was taken aback. “What?” He realized he had sounded too emotional. “I mean… I didn’t know.”

“They divorced some months ago. I thought it was public knowledge.”

Maybe Lewis would have know it if he hadn’t blocked Nico and Nico’s name in every social media platform. Why didn’t Sebastian tell him?

“Right, it probably is. I should open more newspapers.” He gave the doorman a little smile and went up to his apartment with the letter in his hand. That was a big information to handle.

Lewis read the letter sitting on the couch. He straightaway recognized the handwriting.

I’m sorry for yesterday. I think I have some more explanation to do. Meet me in the building spa at 9 if you want. Please don’t be angry.

Lewis knew Nico liked to leave hand written notes. He also knew he liked going to the spa to relieve the stress. Lewis was sick of explanations and sick of playing games. Still he had the feeling he would go anyway.

Nico thought he was imagining it when he saw Lewis in the jacuzzi room. Of course he knew were to find him. That was such an intimate place, it helped him meditate. He usually booked it for an evening and went to relax alone.

He watched him close the stone door. “Hi.” Nico said, trying to shorten the tensed distance hovering in the room. He got no answer.

Lewis approached him in the bathtub and entered the hot water, sitting in the furthest point of the small rounded pool. He was only wearing bermuda swim shorts and Nico couldn’t help but let his eyes wander on his godly physique. He realized that was the first time in years he saw his half naked body that close. He blushed a little when Lewis noticed. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought I scared you away. I’m sorry for–“

“Stop apologizing. I initiated the kiss.”

Nico lowered his gaze. There was a moment of silence until Lewis broke it. “Why didn’t you tell me you divorced?”

Nico didn’t expect the question. “I– I don’t know, I thought you knew.” Didn’t he listen to the news?

“I didn’t.”

“Well,” Nico didn’t know what to say. “Now you know. It was a mutual decision, we thought it was for the girls’ best to stay in good terms.”

“That means I’m the replacement.”

“No, no, that’s not– that’s not like that at all. If anything…” It was the opposite, he wanted to say, but he had the feeling it was unnecessary, Lewis understood.

“We really fucked up our friendship, right?”

Nico nodded. “It was mostly my fault. I became a horrible person. All those mind games I used to get the title… I don’t think I wasn’t mentally okay at the time. That’s not an excuse, anyway.”

“I know, and I forgot you when you needed me because all I was thinking about was winning over you. I didn’t care about anything else. We swore we would have both become World Champions. You know… all these years I had the time to realize we were best friends until I was the one who came first and everyone knew I was the best. But when you proved everybody wrong, I couldn’t take it. And then there was Vivian. And then you left Formula 1. Why did you left our dream? Why did you left me?”

Nico couldn’t look at him in the eyes. “I– you can understand it wasn’t easy. I accomplished what I wanted, and it was so draining. I couldn’t take it anymore, I wasn’t okay. Physically and psychologically. It didn’t help I lost everything had with you. There was no reason for me to stay.”

It was unbelievable: after eight years they were finally talking it out. Eight years. It seemed to be so much time yet Nico was in love just as when they were teens.

Nico took a deep breath. Now they were both grown out of their mistakes, their bad habits and their flaws. At least of most of them.

Lewis made a step closer. “I won’t lie, I thought about you a lot since I saw you in the paddock. I mean, more than usual.”

Nico finally looked at him. The dim lights made Lewis’ dark tatted skin glow in different colors in rotation: purple, green, blue, orange, red. He kept himself from blushing again. “I did too.”

Lewis came even closer, forcing him against the tub wall.

“What are your intentions?” Asked Nico.

Lewis was thinking exactly “hearing again those moans of yours that sound so much like a needy kitten and hearing you say ‘right there’ and ‘yes just like that’ as you used to do”, but those were too many words, so he simply put his hands on Nico’s thighs and made him sit in his lap. Nico’s breath was taken away. There was no distance separating their bodies anymore. That was a big step from interviewing him by standing 20 feet apart.

Nico put one hand on his neck and pulled him in a kiss. A passionate kiss. No more anger, no more regret, no more desperation, just a simple exchanging of everlasting love and desire.

His hands finally travelled eagerly on the Brit’s chest, his thumbs brushing his sensitive nipples. Lewis let out a soft little moan, letting his hands slide on Nico’s hips and pulling him in return.

“I think we should–“ go upstairs, that’s what Nico was trying to say, hardly breathing because of Lewis’ move.

“My place?” Asked Lewis, between one kiss and another. Nico nodded.

They stepped out of the tub and dried each other with a towel, trying to ignore the growing hardness in their pants. They raced to be first to the lift, laughing and bumping into each other, then kissed all the way through Lewis’ apartment. That night they had the best sex of their lives.

Lewis woke up the next morning having the feeling it was way too late. He turned on the phone on the bedside table to look at the clock with eyes still sleepy. 10:12. It was definitely too late. He put the arm back under the sheets when the memories of the night before flooded. Nico. Oh, what a sweet night it was. And hot. He remembered it very hot too. They must have fallen asleep late because he never woke up past 8. He turned around expecting to see Nico but there was no trace of him. He began to worry. There, he got screwed one more time. He had let him play with his feelings again and now he was alone. Lewis was beginning to feel angry again when he heard noises coming from the kitchen. He stood up and walked in the other room. Roscoe, barely awake as well, followed him.

Nico was there, cooking breakfast in boxers and t-shirt. Lewis thought he was dreaming, but then the blond man turned and saw him. “Damn, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Lewis gazed at him in awe. “I thought–“

“What?” Nico smiled gently. “I could never leave you. Not anymore. You make me happy.”

Lewis couldn’t help but returning the smile.

“Besides, who would leave a seven times World Champion? It would be crazy.”

Lewis got closer and wrapped him in a hug from behind, smelling his scent. Roscoe wagged his tail next to them. “Come back to bed.”

“The breakfast will get cold.”

“Please.”

Nico sighed. “If you’re asking like that.”

[turtlevariabilis]

Hi, I ask cool older people this :]

What's high school like? :0

I got many replies and someone got me really really useful and kind explanations and but still scared tho 👉🏼👈🏼

I'm starting in two weeks (in September) and the faster time passes the more nervous I am 🫠

My little sister is going through the same thing! She's starting high school tomorrow. What I tell her is that stressing out doesn’t help, and to take things as they come. The teachers will be even more demanding than in previous years and will put pressure on you with comments like, 'You’re no longer in middle school, you should be more mature now,' 'You need to take high school seriously because university is next,' 'You should already know what you want to do for the rest of your life,' etc. Don’t pay attention in that kind of things. They are exaggerating.

Do the best you can, study, but don’t forget to live. Think about the future, but don’t forget the present. Surround yourself with smart people, and don’t leave doubts unresolved. This last point can hold you back and it’s hard to recover from. Help your classmates; explaining and teaching is the best way to realize you’re learning things well. And of course, attend all your classes and take notes on everything. Making summary flashcards is very helpful for exam preparation. And remember, a bad grade can always be improved.

Personally, I believe high school was one of the best times of my life. I loved that we were treated less like children, for example. And I met my favorite actual friends there. The downside is that I feel I didn’t take full advantage of it, so make sure you do.

You’re not the only one feeling nervous. In September, I’m starting my master’s studies in a different country (Master in Astrophysics), and my mindset is: I’m here to learn as much as I can, to test my mental limits, and see how far I can go. I’m going to make the most of this opportunity (of course, it’s not the same as high school, where you must finish it, but I know you can do it).

I hope it helps. Good luck and don’t worry so much! Changes are good ;)

[hackedmotionsensors]

QUICK UPDATE

lmao

So I just got back last week from Anime Impulse Bay Area! That was a lot of fun and I did a lot better than I did at Fanime Night Market. But I'm glad I did fanime night market bc even tho it cost me a LOT more than it should have and I was WILDLY emotionally and financially stressed.....it gave me a chance to trouble shoot a lot of issues BEFORE going to Anime Impulse where I was basically on my own.

Someone even gave me a stevetony charm bc they remembered me from the before times lol

Aside from that, like a lot of the animation industry I am still woefully unemployed. So any donations or commissions are greatly appreciated

FOR COMMISSIONS!! I have like three???? right now in the wings. But bc I have another con at the end of the month (anime impulse orange county! PLEASE COME) and I'm trying to get merch sent to manu before its too late or I have to pay a bazillion dollars I don't have I've only been able to cut away at them a little bit at a time. The next one (A STEVETONY NO LESS) is on its way! I just need to finish drawing the rest of the background but they lads are drawn in and I think its really cute. I'm usually really nervous about commissions which is why I'm so slow. I wring my hands a lot hoping that people like them. But lol Stevetony are like ....putting on my favorite shoes asdfasd

LAST PART OF THE UPDATE IS....

my fucking laptop is on the fritz. I'd been using this bad boy since right after graduating. Almost 10 years. It still WORKS but I had to repair the screen in 2022. And it didn't even really fix it. And NOW....my keyboard died lol The side of the keyboard where the A is just WOULD NOT WORK. Luckily when we got the notice that we were getting canned from Disney/Marvel I was like I'M BUYING A COMPUTER NOW!!!

That was in November lmao. I'm only setting it up now. There were a lot of things I apparently was missing bc I just never needed them by having a laptop. I had to go to target and get a little adapter for the cintiq plug. And I needed to order SPEAKERS lol What the hell is this 1994?!!!

So for today I don't have speakers so I can't watch anything on my main monitor so I'll just watch stuff on my ipad. I tried using headphones but it sounded so BAD.

So I think for the rest of the day I'll be spent fighting csp to give me my files but the computer is set up and now its just all the boring part of setting up all my old settings, ad blockers, anti virus stuff lol

GODDDDDD

Last little mention is that I'll TRY to use tumblr a bit more but only after I finish Good Omens bc I know all y'all fuckin nerds can't stop posting spoilers lmao (TBF the season is over)

[r-ene]

Pros and Cons of being an Overloaded Student in Respiratory Therapy

during my 3rd year, where majority of the subjects are major subjects such as critical care management, airway management, mechanical ventilation and neonatal respiratory care, i took up more units than prescribed by the university due to being an irregular as a transferee (2nd year). and so i had 11 subjects with 31 to 33 units with 6 days a week of classes. i was leaning on writing how i survived it but rather i think "10 pros and cons" would be a bit better for those considering to undergo this kind of process.

this is from my own experiences tho, so... yk

Pros

you get better at time management. you drown, otherwise.

less procrastination. like #1, you drown if you do.

you get better at juggling loads of school work

you get better at putting boundaries - your body knows when it's time to study, time for family and God, time for rest (although you still need to get reminded), time to socialize

your focus becomes... great (most times)

you get disciplined.

you appreciate your early mornings, rest days, people and God (should you ever be a believer). i personally love my early mornings where i spend about 10 mins on average reading the Bible before classes, it helps me cope with all the stress and made me more optimistic. i also observed things are better (ex. grades are higher in quizzes) when i don't forget to communicate with God before starting my day

its a good practice. as a future healthcare worker, even for my internship there would be schedules of 12-16 hours aside from the regular 8 hour shift scheduled about 5 days a week, with saturdays being lecture or research days, it's a good help.

you are able to find ways how to study more effectively. i personally figured out what study style/s are best for me and when i should utilize study style A (standard) and study style B (for exams, quizzes) and so on.

you learn to compete only with yourself. most times we compare our progress and grades with others when actually, we do best when we only look at ourselves and compete with ourselves yesterday and move forward with it because you understand that you are a unique case and individual and so are others.

Cons

quick burnout = it takes a toll on your health especially when exams come where all classes would require a written one (practical exams such as in skills lab, performing airway suctioning or arterial blood gas were a blessing to me)

major subjects = major requirements. sometimes you forget that your minors need some attention too at times

i only had 1 day of rest (sundays). i love going on worship services but sometimes you just want to rest and sleep the whole day ??

you get very, very anxious and jittery when you dont have anything to do.

sleep gets put off when there are tons to do despite being good in organization and time management. i once went 38 hours without sleep on an exam week, i think it was finals ?

...it was very difficult to study for exams held on the last day, especially during finals. i loved pulmonary disease management and hemodynamics but i was just so exhausted i picked rest over studying otherwise my vertigo might act up

when bombarded with tasks (ex. case study + other major presentations or tasks all together), it's difficult not to spiral. therefore, i suggest to take a walk, especially if you have a baby doggo

if you live with your family, its a bit difficult when they fail to understand you have tons to do on a daily + need some rest. i live with my family of 6 members and sometimes we get into an argument with how im unable to help around especially while im resting after class

it is very difficult to schedule dates with friends or siblings or s/o (i don't have a significant other so that's one less thing to worry about, haha). oftentimes when my older sister asks me to accompany her to the mall for a date or just as company, i spend most of the time in coffee bean, studying. sometimes i rush there when there's an online quiz scheduled in the middle of the day even without lectures.

you gotta sacrifice a lot of things. as you can see above: you sacrifice good health, time with loved ones and yourself, binge watching or gaming (me personally i set a rule if im not on a semestral break i dont play games), good sleep, difficult to commit to other things (uni organizations or work, etc) and etc etc

this being said, i don't discourage or encourage anyone to become an overloaded student as it depends on your unique situation. with mine, my faculty wanted me to supposedly join my batchmates for this year's internship but i was still left behind because there were no offerings for the subjects i needed to complete everything during the summer term and so... yeah, hahaha

other than that, id say i did very, very well both semesters !! not to boast, but it was something i worked hard on and sometimes you just gotta be proud of yourself :)

[youcancallmenoob]

TW: SH, ED

This year has been rough to many of us but this text isn’t for all of us.

To me this year has been better. Better after a long time. (i am 23 now)

I finished my dream school that endett up being way rougher for me mentally.

You know you think you are this gifted kid, you join your people and find out you are kind of below average.

My mental state went down for yearssss. Now its over. It wasn’t just shit tho...

I tried to get help. Got an medication. I should still go to therapy. Thats my mission for next year.

This year has been time of rest and letting myself be. Finding new friends, THAT I DID! Some are here in tumblr and will probably see this (most trough tf2 fandom xd)

I did gain weight and stress myself over it but this year i haven’t starved myself over it... I have SH t yes...but less than last year. Im not sober but i do it less alone wich is alone a little bit better.

Idk where im going with this. Just that. 

Some day it will get better. Not all at once. But slowly u see the negative number closer to 0. We will be okay.

[fedorahead]

"I love punching down... It's about time someone let these handicaps have it!" -Dave Chapelle finally embracing his full form and I fuckin love it

Just like my favourite line in Asshole by Denis Leary... "I park my car in handicapped spaces while handicapped people in handicapped spaces!"

i feel so seen xD

honestly tho, i've seen this shit before. someone starts from a reasonable place of ignorance, could learn from it but their defense mechanisms activate and they have to choose whether they acknowledge that they behaved poorly out of their ignorance and can grow, or defend the fact that their behaviour was perfectly reasonable based on the point of view from which they were working at the time.

Chappelle fucked up on this pattern by being wrong in front of people, which makes the stakes so much higher. And being known for his staunch beliefs in free speech, the very angry response to his ignorance felt like an attack on that value; which, in many circumstances and to many of the people angry with him, it was.

was he in the wrong? of course. he's spiralling. he is behaving increasingly poorly. partially because when he did try to remedy the situation he did so clumsily and got an equally bad response. partially because he's more driven by autonomy than acceptance, and he feels his autonomy is at risk here.

so what's the solution?

Dave Chappelle is a very intelligent man, with many of the same social struggles the rest of us have. When we feel threatened, we dig in our heels. When we're stressed, we get dumber. When we make a mistake, we don't even know the first way to address it or remedy it or if we even feel like we need to apologize. What works for you when you're wrong? If you say "all my friends and also a shitload of strangers call me out and contact me angrily and I rethink my actions", you're a fuckin liar. We've been down that path; we know how social isolation, rejection, and harassment radicalizes people. You know who I'm referring to, we've literally just watched it play out. Do you think JK Rowling hated trans people 20 years ago? She did not give a fuck. She was processing her own trauma of existing while female, got some dumb ideas about men being the problem rather than society itself, fell in with people who made her feel comfortable and heard and validated, embraced their words with less and less question or reservations, and tied her healing into her embrace of radical feminism. when the more blatantly bugnuts insane ideas of this ideology were mocked, her own life story she told herself, her trauma, her healing, everything felt under attack. and trans women were the logical enemy, because she couldn't even see that she was hurting people, she couldn't comprehend that at first, and when she said some absolutely insane shit that sounded totally sane to her, and got pushback, it created the us vs them dynamic in her head. Evangelicals use the same method to radicalize their children; brainwash, send them out to try to spread the brainwashing, they get rejected by society, embrace them with open arms and they'll be so scared to lose your support they'll do all of the mental gymnastics to justify anything you do.

We've seen this before, a million times. We know this path well.

We have to stop taking the same actions thinking they'll finally work this time.

Honestly, I don't believe that anybody is stupid enough to believe that this same process that's played out the same way every time will magically be different. I know how people work. People would rather be heard than make change. People would rather feel valid than solve a problem. It goes deep. If we haven't solved the problem yet, it must not be solvable, so we should at least have our say; if it is solvable, we've done something wrong the entire time it could have been fixed, and that hurts to think of so it must be the other option. People are only just barely starting to understand how to question ourselves and give our mistakes grace. People are only just barely figuring out that they can know better now than they did before, and change their actions now, without trying to disown that former self who had less understanding and knowledge and was working with less information. Our egos get caught up in everything and we sabotage ourselves.

Everyone does this, all humans have egos that sabotage them.

Social evolution is learning how to live with that, recognize it, and grow and change. Every day. Every person.

Assess your values. Do you want change, or do you want to be heard? If you want to be heard, is that worth more than fixing the problems you see in society? Do you value your voice more than your goals? If you do, that's fine, that's who you are, embrace it and acknowledge it and roll with that. Drop the ego from the equation. I think I have a lot of good to say, maybe not all of it changes the world, maybe not all of it even gets heard or read or seen, but I still enjoy putting the words together to make my thoughts more solid. It's okay.

I also would rather the world be a better place than everyone understand every word I say. I'd rather someone I'm trying to convince change their mind than my point get perfectly across. I'd rather the world start working on itself than feel important and instrumental in that change.

Part of that is accepting that we have to meet people where they're at. So Rowling, Chappelle, my misogynistic ass, whomever. We gotta meet them where they are at with compassion and patience and understanding. Yes, *even though they are saying heinous shit*. Because the only way to change someone's mind is to make sense to them, and there isn't a magic sense button we can press to change anyone's mind; we have to put in the effort and actually give a shit. We have to weigh the results of us being hostile and cruel, understanding that when we hate what someone is doing, making an enemy of them for it will make them do it harder.

We have to understand that showing compassion is not the same as enabling or apologism. Y'all understand that concept when it comes to food stamps, that giving them to people in need doesn't encourage poverty, it gives people another tool to get out.

Compassion doesn't encourage ignorance; it gives people another tool to get out.

So yeah. Show Chappelle compassion. Show Rowling compassion. Even if that compassion is as simple as choosing not to bother them, or feed the fire against them. Because that fire is going to burn us all.

[lizzieblabbers]

octobery bery long ????

so remember the vacation entry i promised to post?? well... in my defense, tho, life came in the way and i had to prioritize urgent big girl stuff so i really had no time to sit down in front of my laptop and recall all my province memories

but it's sitting sa drafts na, will not set a date anymore, it'll just... be up

so anyway

october was so long wtf hHASDHADHA

tODAY'S THE TENTH AND I FINALLY FOUND THE WORDS EHEHEHEH (see cleaning is the key)

so, october, to put it simply, is challenging yet rewarding. (big words from a big girl lyke me 8D *winks*

as i've mentioned in my previous post, i hadn't really had much time to kool down from the province high because i needed to be the adult that i am as soon as i arrived. it did not help that the professors had already started discussions and of course with those are activities with deadlines that were sooner than i had expected.

now, i really meant it when i said that october was sooooooo looong. or was it because i had too much on my plate that i barely had the time to rest and let time pass by? either way, it was the longest month i had this year because a lot was going on.

first week of october, i had to go somewhere, ALONE, without any idea of what am i gonna do there.

OKAY I HAVE TO STOP HERE its ten pm and i am fucking sleepy (yeah it be like that sometimes) im gonna continue this tomorrow

hi today's the day after tomorrow and wtf am i doing with my life

i have decided not to pursue the vacation post because i felt like i have already said enough about it in my previous entries (albeit trying to tone it down for, well, the said separate entry) and i think it would just be redundant??? idk, im messed up like that

ANYWAY OCTOBER

so much has happened this past month that i can't really keep track of everything. october taught me a lot of lessons which i guess i can generally apply to all aspects of my life.

for one, it taught me that life isn't and will never be black and white. there are tons of gray areas existing that we should maybe look at and examine its relevance and how it affects each of us. not saying we should always justify everything, but you know... it wouldn't hurt to have another approach to life

anyhoo why am i getting all wisdom-y word-y here, im not that smart

my october mainly revolved on school and adulting responsibilities, alongside some realizations. as for school, it took me a while to adjust to the new academic year because there has been a lot of necessary changes for a less-stressful semester but all in all i'm fine now and already on the process of hooking myself back up to how i was before the vacay.

as for adulting responsibilities, well... october 2023 is when i first received a salary for doing something!!! yay :D immediately put it in a savings account and stopped myself from buying unnecessary stuff because i really want to practice this until i already have a job (FUCK THIS ADULT THING IS GETTING REALER ANY MINUTE) and as much as possible, save save save because i know im gonna need a lot if i want to sleep peacefully at night

guess that's the highlight of my month? won't dwell too much on the negative shits because (1) i can't really remember them aotm, and (2) i don't want to remember them anymore

in case of a relapse, however, i would definitely head straight here and let out everything i think about

THAT'S IT FOR OCTOBER, THANK YEW

bubhyYEE

[dionysiospsychas-photography]

PHOTO TRIP: VANCOUVER ISLAND, PART 1

… The summer of 2022 marked my tenth year living in Vancouver. And I admit here that I visited Vancouver Island only recently, last autumn, and it was a fun and marvellous trip.

Last winter I suggested a photography trip to my photo amigos Sharon, Colin, and Syd, and they easily accepted. Visiting Ucluelet, Tofino, and Pacific Rim National Park was going to be awesome they confirmed; it is so beautiful; it is out of this world. What a place to celebrate my habitation anniversary, I thought, albeit mildly, but especially travelling and exploring with my friends. I will say already: it was incredible!

We started planning very early, in March for a road trip in October, which could be considered unreasonably early, but… f!… we found a sweet looking cottage to rent (Reef Point Cottages). The rest was relatively easy to organize, and as everyone had their part to complete, it was stress free. Essentially, it was six months of doing little and becoming more and more excited. Of course, there was a last minute visit by me to the outdoors store to buy well-deserved, new, cozy hiking socks.

Howe Sound, 2022

As the ferry sailed out of How Sound, the landscapes in the early morning hour felt serene. Everything was ultramarine, and the sky beyond the peaked and rounded landscapes in the distance was a light rose, the anti-twilight, graduating upwards back to the same ultramarine. And it was all… sigh… I much like ridding ferries, but that stretch made me feel happy-calm, an emotional experience I would have many times during our trip, along with a few hard emotional moments that brought relief.

Georgia Strait, 2022

Out onto the Strait of Georgia there was low lying fog on the surface of the water. Similarly to earlier, there was a light rose band in between the layers of light blue. The sun was also rising to the side, so as the ferry sailed to Nanaimo the light diminished across the horizon, and so did the distant cloud cover. And again, it was all… sigh… I delight in foggy occasions, so of course I spent time walking on deck, and especially standing at the bow gazing ahead and felling the cold air flow roughly around me. The waves were calm. It was fun to watch.

And that is just the ferry ride.

Of course, I had my camera with me, as we all did because that is what enthusiastic photogs do. And if I do not mention using the camera further on, know that it is always still with me.

The Old Country Market, 2022

My friends had mentioned the market with the goats on the roof again (yup, The Old Country Market – Goats on the Roof, in Coombs) and that we should definitely stop to see them because hilarity, it was on the way anyway, we could get coffee (!), and there would be cheese (!!!). The store was impressive to be sure, with lots of fine épicerie, but there was unfortunately no immediate and practical need for a large block of cheese. I thought they made their own cheese but they do not, they sell a great plethora of cheese tho. The buildings were quaint, the goats were good looking and hilarious, and as a whole it was a nice stop. If you are reading this, I would recommend.

Okay, so once again, à l'aventure. There is less to say about the ride to the coast, but it was smooth and at times wow for me, especially the drive past Port Alberni that had lots of mountains, rivers and lakes. I have never seen it before, but it did remind me of the beautiful drive thru the White Mountains in New Hampshire towards the coast to Portland, which I did a lot decades ago.

Cathedral Grove, 2022

We did stop to walk the trails of Cathedral Grove (in MacMillan Provincial Park). Altho dry and messy because of the recent drought, the incredible size of the trees, especially those fallen, were a cool prelude to what I would see in the forests along the coast. The trees in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland parks are big, but these were stunningly bigger. The boardwalk that makes up the trail is set a few feet above the forest floor and negotiates around the great trees, untypical of trails I have walked, so I think the experience is quite intimate. If you are reading this, I would also recommend, plus, WCs.

Wild Pacific Trail at Amphitrite Point Lighthouse, 2022

Otherwise, we wanted to head straight to the coast and experience sundown. So then, blah, blah, etc. and we drove into Ulcuelet, which is a cute town and more about it and baked goods later on. We freshened up at the cottage, which I was relieved was actually sweet, and went to Amphitrite Point Lighthouse. I will admit, I thought it was called Anthracite, but it is named after a mythological ocean deity, aptly, not a problematic but nice-looking black mineral.

Shoreline at Amphitrite Point Lighthouse, 2022

We heard the strong sound of waves from the trail and we all smiled. It was a cool spot; the squat lighthouse is set just behind the edge of the rocky, craggy shoreline. And there were lots of people sitting on mounds watching the sun setting. The clouds were long and frayed, and moved swiftly, and looked like the waves crashing on the rock. It truly was awe inspiring – sunset from the Pacific Ocean coast! Some of us were so excited that we forgot to bracket exposures, but with the crashing and the swift-ing… Still, we made some nice photos.

We did not walk the trail that evening, but went back to base to rest.

We did not walk the trail any other day either, unfortunately it seems as I found spectacular photos of views from the Wild Pacific Trail, the type of scenes I specifically wanted to witness. Still, one, we will visit Ucluelet again we agreed and will not forget; two, we experienced many other spectacular spots during our trip; and three, Colin took us to Big Beach the next morning and it was wonderful, of  which I will tell you about in the next post.

How about you; have you visited Vancouver Island and the Pacific Coast? What did you like about it? Send me an email and tell me what you think.

DP, 2023-01-26

[nevertheless-moving]

INFODUMP AU continued

(Star Wars AU #22)

Possible Continuations from INFODUMP. I headcanon that exchange taking place about a year before episode II and episode IV

A) Anakin Force Shenanigans

Anakin walks up: “master- who’s this guy?

“You can SEE him/me?”

Obi-Wan urgently cry/yelling at Anakin to either wear a condom with Padme or at least take her to a healer if you’re worried about her pregnancy (seriously healer BEFORE evil sith wtf)

(its been a number of years for Ben so he’s pretty much puzzled out the ‘doing this for padme’ bit)

just before obi-wan fades out anakin panics because ben hasn’t told him how he gets together with padme

yanks him into this timeline and now Old Ben has to deal with Obi-Wan and Anakin freaking out over all the info he just vomited at them AND everything else

B) Brush Off

Obi-Wan practices some good old fashioned repression to mostly convince himself it was all a weird dream

yoda always says in motion, the future is anyway

he mostly puts it out of his head until a year later when Anakin VERY obliquely references having dreams of his mother

“...what kind of dreams, exactly?”

end-up rescuing Shmi shortly after her capture, Obi-Wan’s there to make sure Anakin doesn’t go off the deep end

Council is a little disapproving of their side mission because now Anakin is even more attached/devoted Obi-Wan 

Obi-Wan is a LITTLE freaked out but Shmi being in danger isn’t exactly a hard prediction to make considering they left her on Tatooine but...

almost immediately after they get specially requested to protect Senator Amidala.

things proceed like canon and when Dex says the dart is from Kamino, Obi-Wan has a little panic attack attack

the whole trip to Kamino he’s just thinking pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoawFUCK THAT’S A CLONE ARMY

good news here is when he’s bullshitting his way through the meeting/ inspection he very confidently brings up removing the control chips

at first there’s some hemming and hawing ‘oh you mean the inhibitor chips, are you sure you want them removed we’ve already installed them’

“I DEMAND they be removed- I- can i speak to your manger? Do I need to take my business elsewhere??”

Nala Se is very reluctant, “I was ensured by certain high level parties that the chips were intended to be an important safeguard...”

*Obi-Wan sweating, but all-in at this point* “Well, uh, Master Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine themselves told me they were concerned about the chips being abused by the wrong parties, and sent me to supervise, so,”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were read-in on the project architecture to that extent, well here are our options-”

Obi-Wan still chases to Jango to Genosis because he’s got a mission and ‘this might as well happen’

Still gets captured in that stupid rotating energy field by Dooku 

“What if I told you the senate was now controlled by a dark lord of the sith?”

“...I would say that I would be very interested in any holo-recordings or legal documents you might have to that effect”

“oh?”

“would very much like some sort of proof to bring before a court of law, yeah.”

The rescue attempt actually goes well this time! Anakin is well rested and practically glowing after his week-long all-expense paid vacation at Varykino

They all manage to escape and intercept reinforcement mid-flight

The council is pleased Obi-Wan is safe and not surprised to find Anakin there, but it doesn’t really change their mission as the senate has ordered them to take out the federation army before they can attack...

“The Senate ordered it?”

“Yes, much has happened, while gone you were. Were given to the chancellor, emergency powers. Drafted a military, he has. Generals, the Jedi have been made. Uneasy we are, but serve the senate, we do.”

“Oh kark, the Chancellor ordered it? We DEFINITELY can not invade.” Obi-Wan's starting to have another panic attack, not sure how to get out of the sith trap

Anakin’s a little offended. “Obi-Wan! The Chancellor is a good man; the Jedi must do this, for the good of -”

“PALPATINE’S A SITH LORD”

“what”

C) He tries, ok? (inspired by @ourhitofsucrose )

Very similar to B except for the full year between the ‘vision’ and aotc, Obi-Wan is desperately trying to follow the future’s warnings but failing hysterically

kamino and genosis have both erased from the archives and it doesn’t occur to him to ask dex so he doesn’t even have a direction to go on

tries to find some proof about Palpatine but he is a sneaky bastard

tries to separate palpatine from anakin but he’s like I’M AN ADULT NOW YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

tentatively brings up Dooku falling ‘in a vision’ to the council because that is something they can check up on- Yoda gets really offended

‘garbage planet on the outer rim’ is not a lot to go on

when he tries to get help searching because he knows that the sith who killed Qui-Gon is still alive and planning to kill his ex-girlfriend even Anakin is like... ‘ok buddy, i think you might be under too much stress, maybe we should visit the healers...”

best he can do for Shmi is leaving her an emergency beacon

A+ success in relationship repair with Anakin tho! through the application of a very awkward hug and a mumbled “you know I love you, right?”

Anakin drags him to the healers immediately, and after a drug test and an overnight stay finally responds by bursting into tears and ugly crying on Obi-Wan’s robes because “YOU’RE A FATHER TO ME BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAATED ME”

Obi-Wan is uncomfortably patting him on the back “Of course I don’t hate you! You’re my padawan! Why would you think that?”

Then when Shmi activates her emergency comm the same night Anakin has his first nightmare about his Mom and they fly to her rescue he’s even more OBI-WAN 5EVER  than canon or scenario B because

“You...checked in on my mom?? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry Anakin, I knew the council wouldn’t approve...”

hugs Anakin again since that is the only piece of advice he can follow from his future self and he just thinks ‘well its a long shot but hopefully this is enough to prevent any lava planet incidents’

it is 

Seriously in this version of events Anakin actively RESISTS being knighted because he was already obsessed with Obi-Wan in canon and now with hugs + verbal affection + protecting Mom proactively he is ALL IN FOR OBI NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

low-key ruins palpatine’s plans by itself because now when he tries to drive a wedge between them with his bullshit ‘your master doesn’t truly trust you’ Anakin gets huffy and responds with a space powerpoint presentation

i mean other stuff is going to go down once we get to the armies but already the stage is set for him to go running to Obi-Wan the minute he has a nightmare about Padme dying and him responding “J. Force Christ, lets just... go to a healer, fuck’s sake Anakin I hope it doesn’t need to be said but do NOT turn to the darkside over this”

canon would definitely diverge before that point but its also very funny to me to imagine RotS playing out more or less the same but when he gets to Palpatine’s big offer he just goes ‘sorry dad told me no’

[mizunetzu]

Can I request a Iida x male reader with a skin problem? Like every time they finish training or after a stressful event the reader's skin would inch then they would scratch it, red blotches would appear on their chest, stomach, back. The reader insecure about them and hate their body, so in the locker room Denki points them out which they realize and start to become insecure and the itching becomes unbearable. They make an excuse then Iida becomes worried about his classmate then hears quiet cries in their door, Iida asks to come in then sees them curled up on their bed scratches their skin harshly which Iida quickly stops them. Iida confronts them and tries to comfort them.

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰LOVE YOUR WRITING BYE THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaah thank you! This request was very fun, and I do love me some iida~ I feel bad for antagonizing kaminari once again in my fics tho 😅😅

——————

Iida x reader - Don’t Itch Your Neck

⚠️warnings - two (2) mentions of itch attacks, one in the beginning and one at the end (sorry, didn’t know the word for it) kaminari being insensitive to reader.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

‘Please don’t compare me to a villain.’

It should be common sense. Why would you ever compare someone to something as wickedly as a villain? It’s rude and distasteful, and you’re practically saying they’re just as bad as illegal thugs and murderer.

But as (Y/n) mindlessly scratched the itch on his neck, a normal itch, not one caused by his skin condition, a villain who terrorized their school at USJ suddenly popped up on the news channel he was watching on his phone.

“-Villain known as Shigaraki Tomura, the alleged ring leader of the League of Villains, has last been seen atop of a high building.” His phone buzzed. He stopped writing answers onto his notebook, as well as unconsciously scratching harder at his neck while turning his attention to the news channel on his phone propped up on Iida’s bed.

Iida would come back any second, telling him to get back to studying, but hey, he’s doing something productive like watching the news, right? Watching news is productive, right? Apparently, it was a special on Shigaraki, and knowing more about villains as a future hero is good, right?

“Shigaraki is estimated to be in his 20’s, and he is commonly seen in disputes against U.A, especially first-year hero class 1-A.” Yep, that was them alright. The news castor continued.

“It is also estimated that Shigaraki has some sort of skin condition, or due to his quirk his skin seems to be very dead and brittle.” The screen cut to some surveillance footage zoomed in on Shigaraki, clawing at dry blotches covering his neck.

His scratched-up, blotchy neck looked uncannily similar to (Y/n’s), especially with the way he was scratching it while being confronted by heroes. It must’ve been caused by stress too. (Y/n’s) skin would burn under the pressure of stress, and he couldn’t help but scratch all over.

(Y/n’s) neck decided to flare up at the sight of Shigaraki. Does that mean he was similar to a villain? He had some sort of trait that was identifiable with a villain? One that attacked his school, no doubt? He scratched his neck harder, bringing up his other hand to scratch the other burning side. Does that mean he was like Shigaraki?

(Y/n) let out a whimper. The itchiness would only scream more if he retracted his hands from his neck. He rubbed his skin raw, scratching so hard he could’ve swore there was blood starting to seep out from his neck.

The door to Iida’s dorm room clicked open silently. (Y/n) paid no mind to it, more focused on the unbearable itch on his neck and the tears clumping at his eyes.

“...(Y/n)-kun? Are you alright?” Iida’s voice broke through the small breaths and scratches of (Y/n), making him look up slightly with blurry eyes. When (Y/n) said nothing, Iida immediately dashed into his bathroom, looking for a small container of ointment.

Iida timped back into the room with a tiny white container in his hands, unscrewing the cap and placing it on under the container. He sat down on his bed, next to (Y/n).

“(Y/n)-kun...I need you to remove your hands, please.” (Y/n) whimpered out a weak, pained “No...” Iida pursed his lips.

“I promise it’s only for a second, it won’t itch.”

“It-it won’t stop-!” Blood was starting to drip down (Y/n’s) nails. Iida winced, quickly shuffling to the bedside table to grab a tissue from a half-filled tissue box. He returned calmly, sitting down next to (Y/n).

He gently set his hand on top of one of (Y/n’s), testing the waters and gently urging him to pull away. “It will only be for a second, love.” He said, with the tissue in his free-hand and the cream resting on a book laying on the bed.

(Y/n) let him pull away his hand, and Iida immediately went up to dabbing the tender, red area of his neck. There wasn’t much blood to begin with, only a few drops, but Iida didn’t want to take the risk of rubbing in the ointment while there was blood on his neck. He dipped his fingers into the white cream of the container, gently cupped (Y/n’s) cheek with his dry hand, and blotted the reddest parts of his neck as gently as he could.

(Y/n) eventually cooled down, the cold substance of the cream as well as the medicine inside it enough to soothe his nerves. Iida hummed.

“How are you feeling?” Iida earned a hum of satisfaction in reply. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

(Y/n) paused for a second, before patting the bed around for his phone. His hand eventually landed on it, and he turned on the newscast in hopes they were still playing the same topic they were on to show Iida. Iida bent over slightly to examine (Y/n’s) phone screen.

“...a villain? The one who attacked us at USJ?”

(Y/n) nodded. “He also probably has a skin condition that makes him all itchy too....the news said it and they played a video of him scratching his neck—and I don’t wanna be like that-“

“Ah...I understand. I understand how upsetting it must be to share something in common with a villain.”

“It’s not just that, though...” (Y/n) sighed. “Because of the scratching, I have all these ugly red blotches on my body...and it makes me look scary...I don’t want my skin to end up like his either...”

Iida hummed. He set a hand on (Y/n’s) shoulder. “I can assure you, you are nothing like a horrible villain such as him. I’m sure there are many heroes with conditions such as your own!”

(Y/n) bit back a smile. He downcast his head, trying to avoid touching his sensitive neck as much as he could.

“Thank you...”

——

Hero training.

(Y/n) dreaded hero training.

The class itself wasn’t so bad, no. No, it was before and after hero training. Where he’d have to change into his hero costume, and change out of it after class was done.

When he did that, everyone could see the ugly red splotches or red scratch marks that made it look like a cat attacked him nonstop. He always made it a point to get in and out of there as fast as he could so no one would ever bring up the rough skin plastered on his body.

But luck didn’t seem to be on his side today.

(Y/n) tore off his hero costume, eager to get out of there as soon as possible. Or at least have something covering him by the time every one else arrived. Of course, Iida was there—he could never beat him first to the locker rooms somehow—but he trusted his boyfriend enough to let him change in the locker room while his vulnerable, spotty body was exposed.

But just as he had every single article of his hero clothing off, leaving him in his underwear, he heard footsteps rattling closer, before the door to the changing room swung open. His stomach dropped.

“Yooo! (L/n)! What’s-oh?” Kaminari’s boisterous voice dug pits in (Y/n’s) guts. He slowly turned around, doing his best to cover his torso with his U.A button-up shirt as he did so. He saw Kaminari standing a few good feet away from him, as the boys of 1-A began filing into the locker room. (Y/n) glanced at Iida, his anchor in a situation like this, before catching his apologetic expression.

“Dude...did Tokoyami really fuck you up that bad in trainin’ today?” Kaminari pointed at the red marks nipping at (Y/n’s) forearms and legs. Sure enough, he sparred with Tokoyami today, but that wasn’t really the cause.

Tokoyami turned around. He shook his head. “Dark shadow cannot inflict such...scratches. And if he did he should be in Recovery Girl’s office instead of the locker rooms.”

(Y/n) silently wished Tokoyami would just take the bait and say it was Dark Shadow. Because Kaminari wouldn’t be rubbing his chin and saying,

“So then what’s all that?” While gesturing circles to the rough, red skin on (Y/n’s) body.

“S’nothin...that’s all...” (Y/n) quietly mumbled. He turned around swiftly, shrugging on the button-up of his uniform and trying to button it up with shaky fingers.

Hands reached down from behind (Y/n) and grabbed his wrists, lifting them high above his head and twirling him around.

“Duuuude! They’re all over your stomach too!”

“Please...lower your voice, Kaminari-kun.” Iida voiced as kindly as he could, not facing (Y/n) to at least spare him one less pair of eyes that were staring at his red-blotched body.

Kaminari’s eyes were plastered onto the red scratch marks and flaked skin on (Y/n’s) barely-buttoned shirt, while (Y/n) wriggled his hands free from his grasp. He completely ignored Iida’s request.

He unconsciously brought his hands up to his neck, still sensitive from yesterday’s...incident and certainly still itchy. The itch was coming back.

He started pawing at the growing itch on his neck, his back pressed against the locker door as he tried to reach for his pants with his free hand.

He started pulling them on the best he could with one hand, not hearing the growing voice of Kaminari asking about why he was itching his neck; or the quiet protests from Iida. Once his pants were sloppily hanging from his waist, his hand flew up to scratch another forming itch right under his eye.

Kaminari suddenly clapped his hands together, looking very appealed all of a sudden. “Dude! I just realized who you looked like!”

“Kaminari-kun, thats-“

“Remember that villain who attacked us at USJ? Shigaraki? The one who kept scratching at his neck and stuff? I think they did a special on him on the news yesterday!”

“Kamina-“

“You look exactly like him!” Kaminari chuckled. “The scratching-“

Iida abruptly slammed his locker door shut. The loud bang it produced shook waves across the locker room, loud enough to silence every one there. Kaminari flinched in surprise, along with everyone else in the changing room.

“...Shut the fuck up, Kaminari.”

Silence ensued the once talkative changing room. All eyes fixated on Iida, a dead scowl on his face that replaced the mighty rule-abiding gaze he wore. The use of no honorific for the first time was absurd, but hearing Iida tell Kaminari to ‘shut the fuck up’ really took the cake. Iida was glaring dull daggers at Kaminari, who was standing there staring back with awkward eyes.

(Y/n) took that opportunity to mumble a quiet “I have to use the bathroom..” and slip out from in front of Kaminari, and slink out of the changing room. He buttoned up his shirt as quickly as he could, not caring about his long forgotten tie or blazer with the burning, unbearable itch that pulsed from his entire body.

He figured he couldn’t last in class like this.

——

Iida sped-walked all the way to the U.A heights alliance. He was worried when (Y/n) didn’t show up to afternoon classes, but didn’t want to run in fear of immodesty on school grounds.

Though, he supposed it hardly mattered anymore, especially after his spiel in the locker room. He was so irritated he didn’t think to apologize until they got back to the classroom. And boy, did bowing hundreds of times, chittering “I apologize for my rude behavior!” Millions of times over again count as an apology.

Iida started sprinting, before ducking into the door and up the stairs.

He ran around the whole dorm building, in case (Y/n) was hiding in someone else’s room or the restrooms. No luck.

And he had no further luck until he passed by (Y/n’s) dorm room, hearing soft sobs and skritches from inside the room. Iida hummed, knocking on the door.

“(Y/n)-kun?”

The sobbing from inside (Y/n’s) room went silent. Iida set his hand on the doorknob.

“Please open the door. Or let me in, please.”

Iida was trying his best to keep his voice level, but inside he was probably just as panicked as (Y/n). Even though he knew (Y/n) kept his medicated cream in his room, Iida had grabbed the spare laying in his own just in case. The soft whimpers from inside the room resumed. Iida sighed.

“I’m coming in. Pardon the intrusion.”

The door the (Y/n’s) room softly clicked open, the light from the outside casting a strip of yellow light into the dark that was (Y/n’s) room. Iida took a moment to let his eyes adjust, before his red eyes fell onto the curled up ball of itching that was (Y/n).

Iida quietly sat down next to (Y/n) on his bed, who paid him no mind. He kept sobbing into the school uniform he never bothered to change out of, one hand under his button-up and the other scratching at the back of his arm. Eventually, his arms switched to scratch at his legs and his neck.

“It burns...it-it burns, Ten-“

“I know, I know,” Iida refrained himself from patting (Y/n’s) back, in fear he’d accidentally inflame that area. Instead, he calmly rose from the bed, walking briskly to (Y/n’s) closet. He opened it gently, shuffling through clothes and picking out a loose shirt and basketball shorts.

He laid them out on the bed. “Do you think you can put these on for me...? Oh, but before you put the shirt on, please allow me to apply your medication onto your stomach..”

(Y/n) briefly looked up to see Iida squatted down infront of him through his tucked-in knees. He looked from Iida to the clothes waiting for him on the bed.

Iida set a hand down on the mattress next to (Y/n). “I can turn around if you would like me to.”

(Y/n) nodded, and Iida stood up and faced the opposite side of his room. Waiting as he heard shuffles of clothes being removed and slipped on, accompanied by more itching, he alas heard the dry “m’done..” from (Y/n) he turned back around.

(Y/n) was scratching at his arms, his head turnt down and tears still cascading down his face. He was holding the shirt in in between one of his armpits. Red blotches and scratch-lines littered (Y/n’s) chest, arms, and legs. The irritated skin looked even more irritated as (Y/n) scratched and clawed at them even more.

“Thank you, handsome.” Iida cooed. “Are you comfortable with me applying it to your chest or would you like to do that on your own?”

“You can do it...I don’t...” (Y/n’s) voice died down, but Iida got the gist of what he was saying. He set (Y/n) back down to his bed, drawing the cream out from his possession and popping off the cap.

After smearing on a generous amount to his chest, his forearms, and his calves, (Y/n) was able to stop scratching for just a bit. It soothed the burning itch for only just a bit, though.

Iida brought his cream-covered fingertips to (Y/n’s) red neck. He tilted it up, giving Iida access, as he rubbed gentle circles around it.

“Would you like to talk about what happened?” Iida said, not taking his eyes off of his current task. (Y/n) sniffed.

“...Do you think I act like Shigaraki? I know you said I didn’t...but you were just being nice, weren’t you?” (Y/n’s) voice was barely audible over the sounds of his sniffles and hics. Iida pressed his lips into a fine line, making sure to coat every area of his neck before retracting his hand. “S’ok...you can tell me, I won’t be mad.”

“(Y/n)-kun...darling, you know that’s absurd.”

“But it isn’t!” (Y/n’s) voice cracked. “Y’know-my body’s already all ugly and disgusting, I might as well become a villain especially because I look like one.”

“Just because you have these splotches on your body doesn’t make you any less handsome.”

“Stop lying, Tenya.”

“You know me, I don’t lie.” Iida placed his hands on his lap as (Y/n) carefully slipped on his shirt. “What kind of class representative would I be if I were a liar? I’m just stating facts like a good civilian.”

“And it’s a fact that (L/n) (Y/n) is the most beautiful, handsome, alluring boy I have ever laid my eyes on. Kaminari-kun took his ‘joke’ too far, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t qualify as a joke in the first place.”

Iida finally set his hand on (Y/n’s) shoulder. “Please don’t let his words get to your head. Your nothing like a villain, nor is your skin any less beautiful than you think it is. If you can’t love it yourself, I will just have to make sure to love you just as much to make up for it.”

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a second, before shifting closer to Iida and laying his head down against his shoulder. Iida smiled, reaching up to pat (Y/n) appreciatively on the head.

“Thank you, Tenya.”

‘Please don’t compare me to a villain.’

Because (L/n) (Y/n) was far from it.

——————

I apologize if I got any information wrong, I am not the best educated on topics such as skin conditions :((

[feijoaaas]

tldr this is me asking for financial help

since billionaires are billionaires because they do not share their wealth, and tweeting at them and trying to contact them through their companies or their foundations only to receive the reply that they do not help private people, or no reply at all

i’m giving this a go for the last time, and taking the bold step of asking help from maybe the biggest fan base on here, even tho i really don’t want to be asking for help

here is my gofundme and at the most i am asking for $2500 which is less than what i’ve lost to the stock market ($3400 in total but i’m not asking for all that because i just want to be debt free and have enough for rent and bills, i realise it’s a privilege to have had that much money to lose and it’s a lesson learned that no one else should pay for), it’s partly a debt that i want to be free from, two debts actually, one is a high interest loan which is the one i am most keen of being rid of, of $1000 and one is a private debt to a friend of $500

and then my monthly expenses are $500, i currently don’t have a job but i do have a fuck ton of anxiety, self doubt, harmful thoughts and a self esteem that’s gone to fuck for a whole slew of reasons, i want to study a uni course of english this autumn and i’ve applied to several courses but i didn’t pass all my exams this spring semester so i am missing several credits which i need to make up for before i can be granted another student loan which could take a couple months

i can’t ask someone i know personally, partly because i don’t really know anyone with good enough finances to help me out, and those that maybe could help me i don’t want to ask because of the whole shame of it all like i’ve already been bullied all through 9 years of school and felt like a failure and a mistake and like no one would miss me if i were to suddenly disappear so i can’t really bare to say that due to many underlying reasons i’ve lost all my money and gotten myself into debt as well like what a sure fire way to never again be able to speak to that person without feeling like a useless fuck, like if my mom knew this she would make me feel like shit for the entire rest of my life and she would berate me to no end, she already berates me when i do things well or when i’m proud of things nothing is ever enough for her

so yeah…….. if there’s like 500 swifties out there that can spare $5 each or 1000 swifties that can spare $2,5 each or even more of you that can spare even less, it would literally mean the world to me in so many ways i can’t even describe

i’ve had i don’t know how many nights of waking up in cold sweats because this debt and not having enough for rent and bills have been stressing me out even in my sleep

i’m hoping that in a year from now i’ll have a job and hopefully be on add medicine or be studying and managing it and even if i can’t pay you back personally i’ll be right here to help out the next swiftie in need, or anyone, obviously

i just thought it would be best to direct this at a group that a, is awesome and b, is probably more generous and helpful than every single greedy billionaire out there

thank you in advance, thanks for reading and if you can help by donating it means the world and if you can help by reblogging that means so much as well 💗

[kenmasangel]

Fight ; Ushijima Wakatoshi

characters : ushijima wakatoshi, f!reader

synopsis : you and ushijima had your first real lowkey hardcore fight as a couple

genre : angst, fluff

ps : i am trying my best lol, i am new at this if you any remarks my dm's are open. hope you enjoy <3

masterlist

both you and your boyfriend, ushijima play volleyball that is actually what pulled you closer and ushi couldn't be happier

you've always enjoyed playing volleyball; it wasn't your passion and you wouldn't dedicate your life for it like ushijima but you still did your best all the time and you were pretty good

you actually were captain of the team for a while but then just decided to be a normal player

you practiced really hard; you didn't want to disappoint your boyfriend who was a great volleyball player

it really stressed you out though, especially when people would compare you or make really uncalled for remarks (this was maybe even one of the reasons you quit as a captain)

anyway these last days you haven't been feeling really good, the exams were upcoming and you wanted to keep up your excellent grades so you could attend the college of your dream

and not to make things better you had a practice match with you-don't-know-what-team and you couldn't care less

even if you were attending practice you were still kind of lacking, you wouldn't give it your all as usual and your teammates noticed that, you tried conving your coach into keeping you on the bleachers but he just wouldn't give up on you and your amazing serves

so here you were, sleep deprived, stressed out about school work and volleyball and your boyfriend didn't seem to notice anything, he would ask you times to times if anything is wrong but you would brush him off since you knew he was already preoccupied with the nationals

ushijima wasn't dumb though, he knew something was off with you but since you kept telling him not to worry he thought he would give you time unil you feel completely comfortable talking about it

he would kiss your forehead and tell you that he is here anytime

i ship you guys so bad wtf 😔

and as if the universe was against you, the day before your practice match you had an important exam, “at this point i should drop out and become a stripper” you thought to yourself as you were cramming informations into your brain

after your exam you headed to the gym to practice, you and your team stayed until late night and needless to say you only had few hours of sleep because you also had to wake up early to practice your serves, you didn't even have time to see your boyfriend so he could encourage you

you were exhausted, your brain was about to explode and your coach would still not let stay on the bleachers. the only thing positive was that ushijima sent you a good luck text message the night before

the match started, you were trying so hard to stay focused and to fall asleep; your serves were not as sharp as usual, you would miss the ball many times and the coach finally decided to change you with someone else

what you were not aware of is that ushijima and tendou came to watch the match and support you, they were weirded out at the way you were playing, it clearly was not in your habits to play that way

your team won the match but you couldn't care less, you just wanted to go home and sleep for one week straight

there were still a few people in the gym, you were getting ready to leave; you didn't even notice that the trio was coming your way

“y/n!” you heard tendou call you, “oh, hi sorry i didn't notice you were here” you replied, closing your bag “what's up?” you ask

“what's up with you? are you okay?” tendou asks, “what ?” you didn't know they saw everything, you kept staring at them until it hit you “oh, so you guys watched the match”

“yes, and what was all that about?” asked ushijima. “we can't always play well, you know” you shrugged, they were staring at you kind of shocked

“what? y/n did you see your serves ? did you see how many times you missed easy balls? it was almost as if i was watching a beginner! the team almost lost because of you” ushijima replies

“okay and ? i told the coach not to put me on the field yet he did. not my fault” you answered, it stung hearing him say that but it was true and you knew it

“thank god #8 came in, she saved the game ” he adds, what started annoying you. the last thing you wanted was to fight with your boyfriend

“good for them,” you clapped back in a cold tone what sent shivers down tendou's spine. he didn't want to get in between you two and he didn't know how to react since it was his first time seeing you like that

“you are my girlfriend, you know better! you should know this isn't only about others but the whole team! i heard people say stuff i didn't want to hear when you were playing an-” he couldn't finish when you cut him off

“ i know what people say ushijima! i know i am not dumb. and what if i am your girlfriend ? does that make me obliged to be a good volleyball player like you ? volleyball isn't my dream as far as i know i also have other dreams and other goals ushijima, but do you even care ? do you even bother asking me what i am passionate about ? and if you're ashamed of me, the so-bad volleyball player why don't you just go out with other great players ?” you snapped, what made the gym go quiet and all eyes stare at you and your boyfriend.

you gave him a last glance , took your stuff and went home

him and tendou stood there, alone now that everyone have left, still trying to comprehend what just happened, “wow, i’ve never seen y/n-chan like that” tendou broke the silence between him and ushijima. he didn’t answer tho, his mind was still replaying the fight you two had

you never fought; you guys were both mature and dealt with every situation you had to go through rationally so this fight really made ushijima tense up, something that tendou noticed

“ushijima,” tendou started as they were walking back to their dorms. “did you notice that y/n wasn’t feeling good right ?”

“hm? what?” the green eyed boy looked at him confused

“y/n is definetly not feeling good, you could tell just by looking at her face,” he stopped a moment before he continued “you can’t be oblivious to your girlfriend feeling bad, can you ?”

“look, i am not one to tell you what to do ushijima, this is your relationship but take good care of y/n before you loose her. she is a wonderful person and i know people who are just waiting for the right moment to have a chance with her,” he finished, sighing

“i don’t know what to do, we’ve never had a fight like this before and i sure don’t want to loose her,” finally stated ushijima burying his face in his hands, “i know i am lucky to have her, but you know how i suck at this relationship stuff...”

“give her time to cool down, but not too much time too. anyway goodnight” tendou pats ushijima’s shoulder before getting into his dorm

the days after you tried to keep it lowkey; you didn’t go to practice, you’d spend most of your time alone in the library or at home

your friends tried to contact you but you went on ghost mode, ushijima and the vb team too but you didn’t have enough strenght to deal with anyone not even your own parents

yet one night after everyone had finsihed practice you decided to head to the gym, you had so much frustration that you wanted to get rid off and the only thing that could help you was to hit in a ball

so here you are, at 10:30 pm serving in your highschool’s gym with all the power you had

what you didn’t know is that someone was there, watching this whole time hitting them balls with all the power you had wondering if they should come and talk to you or not

saying he missed you be an understatement, he missed your touch, the sound of your voice, your silly fights with tendou over who ushijima loved the most, the way you would hold his hand with no warning, the way you came to his practices and his teammates would all want to catch your attention. he was craving you and he couldn’t do anything but blame himself on how he lacked as a boyfriend

“man up, wakatoshi,” he opened the door yet didn’t catch your attention as you were still serving your mind obviously somewhere else

“uhm, hello?” he clumsily tries to catch your attention, which he succeeded  in

you turn, kind of startled but lowkey relaxing at his sight. “hi,” looking at his face you realized how much you missed him but the fight you had was still replaying in your head. “i was leaving, i just need to clean the gym” you said shaking off your pianful thoughts

as you walked by him he held you wrist making you stop, “y/n, let’s talk it out... please” his face slowly turning around, your eyes meeting his

he was right, you couldn’t just ghost everyone for the rest of the year, you just nodded and looked away

still holding your hand he took you to sit on a bench, facing each other. both of you wondering what will come out of this conversation

“y/n, i miss you, i was a horrible boyfriend i should’ve noticed how bad you were doing and comfort you instead of being a total douchebag, it’s just that...” he stopped for a while, thinking of the right words to say. “i just want the best for you, and i should’ve known vb isn’t your dream but i know how much potential you have and i just want the best for you.”

you couldn’t help but soften and the bluntness of your boyfriend, you knew he was genuine

“i don’t want to loose you y/n, and i promise to do my best to be a better boyfriend. please accept my apology,” you couldn’t help but breakdown infront of him

that’s it, you reached your peak and here you were sobbing in your boyfriend’s arms who was rubbing your back, trying to comfort you

he sure was taken aback when he saw you crying like that, he had never seen you like that and he never dealt with this type of situation but somehow he knew you needed to let everything out

he kissed the top of your head, whispering things like “everything is gonna be fine”

“i just got so stressed out, volleyball, academics, relationships... and i wanted to be the best but i couldn’t handle this much pressure and i should’ve told you how i felt but i bottled up thinking i could handle it,” you managed to say between your sobs. “ i love you too and i don’t want to loose you toshi,” he hugged you tighter after this sentence

“it’s alright love, i should’ve been here for you that’s the point of being together, it’s to lift a certain weight on each other,” he cupped your face in his big hands, wiping your tears, “no more secrets now, we’re here for each other,” you nod and he gently presses his lips against yours

“i love you, and i am here for you, please stop crying i hate to see my s/o this way especially when i suck at comforting you,” he made you chuckle

you’ve never  seen this side of ushijima, you knew he was trying his best right now, but you were glad you saw it today; it proved that he really loved you and you felt happy to have him by your side

“i love you too, toshi,” you hugged him tight and he kissed your forehead

both of you feeling relieved to know that your relationship was strong enough and you’d be able to count on each other and go through anything by each other’s side

[bookwyrminspiration]

What do you think the KOTLC characters would be like as drivers?

aha this is a topic I know things about! I know how to drive! ignore the fact that I was in a car crash a month ago it wasn't my fault. I'm going to assume that everyone passed their drivers test and is legally allowed to drive in this scenario

Sophie: she's the most familiar with a car and the most willing to learn how to drive out of the whole group, liking the independence it brings her and human nostalgia. She's a little nervous and doesn't like to merge in case she's seeing things in the mirror wrong, but she's faced down the Neverseen before and rode in cars basically every day before. She's got this

Fitz: he hates people who don't follow traffic rules, down to the littlest things. he's the kind of person who would go exactly the speed limit even when literally everyone else around him is speeding. And in the process of trying to be a good driver and going the speed limit, he makes himself a danger on the road and more of a problem for everyone else. he's got good intentions tho

Keefe: he's thrilled by the idea that humans actually ride in these things, and in the process he doesn't really understand just how dangerous they can be. He'd be really light and joking about it and messing around like doing squiggly swerves on residential streets and driving in figure eights in parking lots. That is, until it came down to actually driving and then he is nope, outta there. You want him to drive this metal thing on the road? he likes to break the rules, but he isn't that stupid. He thinks he's gonna mess something up when it comes down to the important parts

Biana: she's got so many things on the interior of her car. so many things dangling from the rearview mirror that it's a shock she can even see the other side of the road (spoiler: she can't). The seats have covers and she's got a fluffy steering wheel cover. She likes to speed and is heavy on the breaks, so anyone who's riding with her always braces when they approach a light

Dex: He has. Way too much confidence compared to his skill level. Sure, he's a technopath and is good with machines and things but that does mean!! He should be so reckless! He's merging with only a glance in the mirror and pumps the gas as soon as the light turns green. He is. he is too confident. he is going to do something stupid on accident

Marella: A tense driver. it's so clunky and inelegant compared to elven tech, and so much less efficient. So when she drives she's just always aware of everything that could go wrong and the people who could get hurt. She understands the inner workings of the car better than most, and takes care to pay attention to everything.

Linh: A calm driver. She has experience controlling her nerves and can handle the stress of being in charge of a vehicle. She makes sure she knows what she's doing and always follows the rules--but unlike Fitz, knows when it's safer to break them. If someone is in the turn lane next to her turn lane, she'll turn wide in case they go wide too. She'll speed when everyone around her is. She follows construction detours flawlessly due to her observance and control. She's the best driver out of them all.

Tam: A very good driver. He's quiet and observant and tense, always ready to slam on the breaks or swerve out of the way, constantly assuming that everyone else on the road is a fucking idiot and going to do some dumb shit he has to be prepared for. Driving may have taken years off his life but hey he's still doing it

Stina: you think Stina is going to deign to drive? she doesn't understand this weird human tech and thinks is obsolute and useless. She's only learning how to drive to prove to the rest of the group that she can and that she knows what she's doing, not because she's curious at all. No way. When she is behind the wheel, everything is smooth. Starting and stopping, merging, u-turns, etc. She knows her stuff and can get around efficiently.

Maruca: She has a tendency to accidentally run red lights. She's on high alert every moment she's behind the wheel and that makes her a little jumpy. Instead of hitting the breaks when the light goes yellow more often than not she'll bump the gas instead to try and squeeze through. Her heart is racing the whole time and she'd secretly prefer it if other people drove, but she'd independent and refuses to let them

Wylie: a confused driver. he tries his best but there's always something he doesn't understand or gets off. not enough to make him a danger on the road but enough to be like...what?? his seat is a little too far forward and he leaves the windows down in the rain. he's determined to drive well, and he is pretty good! He stays in the center of the lane and turns smoothly and breaks efficienly and leaves enough space between him and the car in front of him at a light But there's always something about it where you can just tell he's unfamiliar with human tech and just trying his best

[shima-draws]

Aww yeahhh time for Kiyo to make his entrance!

I wrote an entire essay about him (again whoops) so it’s very long and under the cut for your viewing pleasure ;)

Kiyo

Age: 29

Hair color: Green

Eye color: Brown

Element: Stars

Kiyo, the Guildmaster of the Asterstone Guild! He only took up the position recently and has had the Guildmaster title for about a year and a half. He was the previous record holder for youngest Guildmaster until that title was stolen by Taku. (Kiyo holds a grudge about it but it’s playful.) 

Kiyo, just like lots of other characters in ATS, was taken in by the Asterstone Guild at a young age. He’s similar to Shima in that he has no previous memories before showing up outside the guild one day, battered and bruised. (That marks three characters in this series with amnesia now! Wrow) He grew up under the watchful eye and tutelage of the previous Guildmaster, and because of how attached to him she’d gotten, it wasn’t long before he began to express desires to take over the guild once she retired. After a lot of thought and contemplation she eventually handed over the position to him. This initially resulted in a lot of outrage from the guild members because they did not think Kiyo was suited to be the Guildmaster, but he eventually proved them wrong once he stepped up to the plate and showed them he could act like a true leader!

They did have good reason to be nervous about that, though, as Kiyo is normally a very laid-back and carefree person and is strictly non-violent. This has lead into lots of situations where he’s opted out of fighting, leading his guildmates into lots of trouble when they needed a hand, and they labeled him as both a coward for avoiding necessary battles on missions (which is practically a requirement for a guild member going out on dangerous quests, you sort of have to have a battle prowess to take on any foes) and lazy for not participating when he should. Initially this bothered Kiyo a great deal, but the previous guildmaster assured him that not everybody is suited for battling others, and that he can still pave his own way to success in a non-violent manner. While Kiyo may not have a liking for fighting, he has an extremely smooth tongue and is very capable of talking himself out of sticky situations (mostly by bribing. He is VERY good at that lmao). He has a talent for manipulating others into doing what he wants them to, though he rarely uses this on people he considers friends. When Kiyo’s able to complete a mission and win the day without resorting to using their elemental powers in a fight, his guild members have to stop and think for a second like. Hold on. He just did that so easily, he made it look so simple, we really need to stop underestimating him and calling him totally useless (Kiyo: Hey. HEY).

Kiyo’s pretty close to all of his guildmates despite their constant ribbing—the one person he’s close to that adores him completely is Lacie, because he was the person to bring her into the guild (she was around 10, he was 17), and being the first person to genuinely show her kindness that wasn’t for ulterior motives, Lacie became very attached to him. Kiyo acts like an older brother to her, and Lacie supports him in whatever he does. She was thrilled when he took on the Guildmaster position, and he has a very soft spot for her :’) She always sings his praises to anybody outside who will listen, and gets angry at Emrys the one time he called Kiyo incompetent.

After becoming the guildmaster, Kiyo actually does a good job at taking charge despite the general opinions that he wouldn’t. He’s still very casual about it though and is a bit more flexible with how the guild is run, preferring to let the guild members do things their own way and be less strict about the overall rules. He’s basically got the “Do whatever you want!” and “Just wing it!” outlook, and while a lot of the members don’t like this attitude, a lot of them do. At the end of the day they all do respect him, though! While he isn’t a fighter he’s very good at giving orders and keeping things in check around Asterstone lol

Despite Kiyo’s insistence on staying out of battles, he’s actually an extremely skilled fighter, and is probably the strongest and most dangerous person in the entire guild. The issue with this, though, is that whenever he gets into a fight, he tends to get too “serious” and starts going off the walls, treating the battle as a game and something fun and entertaining. This leads into him not knowing when to stop, and nobody else being able to stop him, so he’s seriously injured other people without meaning to—revealing that he’s actually terrified of violence because he loses himself in it, and why he prefers to stay on the sidelines. It’s only when Kiyo gets really serious in battles that a darker side comes out, and where the star mark in his eye appears. It’s only been seen a few rare times throughout his life at the guild, so nobody really thinks much of it or notices it. It’s only after the star mark appears that Kiyo passes out afterwards, having exerted a lot of power and extremely skilled battle prowess nobody has ever seen before. However, after a grand guild tournament where Kiyo faces off against Taku and gets too into it, revealing his star mark and almost slicing Taku’s head clean off, one of Kiyo’s advisors at the guild starts to look into it out of concern for both Kiyo’s safety and that of others.

In the middle of all this mess, Kiyo meets Toru, and after nearly forcing him to join Asterstone, the two start growing closer 👀 Toru joins the squad of not putting up with Kiyo’s bullshit, but that’s only after he gets over his starstruck fanboy phase. Because Toru is newer to the guild and because he’s a non-elemental not suited for fighting, Kiyo instantly becomes attached to him, finding similarities in their preferences and backgrounds. While Toru does think Kiyo’s an idiot sometimes he treats him very kindly, and is usually the first to defend him when the other members playfully tease him, so Kiyo’s just like you are an angel sent from heaven just for me and I adore you. Still though with Toru being a non-elemental Kiyo stresses about his safety CONSTANTLY, even after Toru gets official training in self defense. If Toru’s in danger Kiyo will blow off literally everything else to go rescue him first, which the other members have to get used to as it happens more often than they’d like akdasbmlads

Later down the line the guild is caught up in something terrible, and find themselves being targeted by a descendant of a great inventor and sorcerer (not Elymas this time tho lol). She’s apparently seeking what’s known as the Velle Nova, and has reason to believe Asterstone is in possession of it. After Kiyo’s forced to fight and unleashes the power behind his star mark, the descendant reveals that Kiyo has the Velle Nova, and then the truth finally comes out…

Kiyo remembers everything about his past. Years ago, his town had been caught up in a great disaster, and he was the only survivor. He was forcibly taken in by several scientists, one of them being the ancestor of the girl descendant. They were attempting to recreate the Velle Nova, one of the great sorcerer Elymas’ inventions, which is said to grant any sort of wish imaginable. They wanted to claim that power for themselves and possess the powers of the universe itself. However every attempt had failed, and without the real Velle Nova they couldn’t achieve what they were after. So they decided to pour all of their research into Kiyo instead, and try to create the weapon inside of a human being. This ended up making a twisted, broken version of what should have been the Velle Nova. But Kiyo couldn’t contain its power—it was going to unravel the universe itself and either destroy everything or alter it tragically into something unimaginable. One of the scientists working with the group realized how awful their experiment was and, being a Time elemental, decided to erase Kiyo’s memories (with some help) and send him centuries into the future so that the rest of the group couldn’t get their hands on him. Hence Kiyo winding up outside of Asterstone with no memories, and the truth behind his star mark. It had been granting Kiyo his wish the whole time—the longing to protect the things he cares about by being able to defeat any threat in his way. Of course with the unstable power that he can’t control, it usually leads into disaster;;

Kiyo, now having recovered his memories, realizes that the same thing is going to happen again, and decides to seal himself off to protect Asterstone and the world before the universe unravels. Cue an epic PMD-esque goodbye scene where he bids farewell to Toru, gives him his trademark scarf, and vanishes, escaping into a dimension between time and space where his power can be contained. *Starts playing I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye*

Toru, absolutely devastated by Kiyo’s farewell, decides he’s going to break time and space to save his man, except there’s one small issue...nobody else remembers that Kiyo even existed, and Toru only managed to by some miracle (and also maybe bc Kiyo handed him his scarf idk some magic soul connection thing). But after a while...a long while, maybe like a year or more...they finally unlock the key to finding Kiyo!!

Toru and Kiyo share a tearful reunion, and Kiyo cries a lot because it had been so lonely sitting in that black hole all by himself for so long. Toru begs Kiyo to come back, and suggests that Kiyo separate himself from the Vella Nova in order to live a normal life, but Kiyo informs him that he and the Vella Nova...are the same. They’re the same combined entity! Kiyo says that if he tries to unfuse, he’ll just end up destroying himself, because there’s nothing to separate, being one singular existence. So Toru points out uh hey since you’re the same thing, don’t you get a say on how your power is used? “It’s your power, Kiyo” yes we’re referencing Tododeku here we go

Kiyo’s like hmm uh yeah I guess you have a point;; so we went through all that for nothing huh. And Toru tells him you’re a fucking moron and Kiyo’s like ahh yes but you loved this moron enough to come rescue him from the void ;) And they kinda sorta confess but not really? Kiyo’s too nervous and Toru’s too distracted trying to figure out how to get them out of there but no worries they sort it out later. Kiyo tells him that hey I’m still dangerous and I could lose control at any given moment and Toru’s just like well I guess we’ll just have to stop you and bring you back to yourself. So with the knowledge that he’s got a whole guild of awesome people backing him up and a boy who broke the laws of the universe to save his ass, Kiyo and Toru escape the rift and finally return home together 💕 And that’s pretty much how their arc ends!

Extra personality traits

-He has a really short attention span so this makes things painfully hard on mission briefings, which leads to Kiyo usually screwing up the mission one way or another

-He often charges ahead without thinking and is the first one to become a target in a bad situation. Nobody really feels bad for him though because most of the time it’s his fault for walking right into it LMAO

-He can be very childish sometimes and most of the time he does it on purpose. His guildmates complain that their leader is a whiny, immature brat

-He is an expert on how to annoy people do not test him oh my god

-He can be incredibly selfish;; He’s gotten better with it during recent years, but he got scorned for it a lot when he was younger. He’s also very emotional, and you can read what he’s thinking like an open book! When his friends can’t read him that’s when they start getting worried.

-He has no experience in romance whatsoever and it’s the one (1) thing that can get him flustered. Nobody at the guild has ever seen Kiyo get mildly embarrassed or caught off guard, so they begin to think it’s impossible to make him blush. Then Toru shows up and ruins everything lmao

-He has a great sense of humor and can always make others laugh! He’s also very mischievous and sometimes plays pranks on other members of his guild.

-He’s very stubborn when he wants something and not in a good way. He also pouts a lot when he gets like this

-He loves his guild and his guild members man :'( If any of them are ever in any real danger he's quick to offer himself up first as a target. He's protective of his friends and will do anything to keep them safe!

-A very very affectionate person. He mostly shows this through physical acts like hugging and generally touching other people. In return he also craves affection and gets very soft when it’s given back to him. I’d probably say he’s a little touch starved despite being in close contact with others all the time lol