feijoaaas

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the fucking orange dictator is gonna win isn’t he what the actual fuck

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was reminded of that youtube channel that records footage of that bridge that scalps trucks today. one of the fascinating developments that's happened since i last heard about it is that, in one of their many attempts to stop the trucks from being can-opened, they installed a traffic light that detects when a vehicle that's over the allowed height is coming and turns red so the driver can stop and hopefully notice the signage all around that's screaming "YOUR VEHICLE IS OVERHEIGHT TURN AROUND" and avoid an accident. However as a result sometimes drivers see the light turning yellow and IMMEDIATELY start flooring it to avoid having to stop, ensuring that the roof of their truck just gets fucking annihilated instantly. Really beautiful stuff you should check it out

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Their receipts and reasons

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THE WEST WING → 4.03 'College Kids'

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The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

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How it started vrs How its going Only Murders in the Building, S01 versus S04

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This is Gilbert. He’s been around a while. Attributes his long life to many, many years of always getting what he wants

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I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

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chloe beale being the cutest fucking shit during the bellas pillow fight

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Love him... love mr. cool...

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albatrosses will wipe the floor with any species of bird you choose to compare them to. they’re the Most, or at least Extremely, by almost every metric

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YOUNG MAN

THERE ARE LEAVES ALL AROUND I SAID 

YOUNG MAN

EAT A LEAF OFF THE GROUND

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even the onion couldn’t have written this insanity