#should I share my own recipe after that? To gain back the ability to share it if I wanted?

[marchessa]

Still wondering if I should include my recipe in my fic

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 17 second part

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Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!!

Breaking Good

Wen Qing comes to visit Wen Ning in their backyard meth lab, and tells him that he fucked up a recipe, merely by taking a whiff of the concoction. She uses the approved "wave fumes toward self" way of smelling that you learn in high school science if you live in a country that believes in teaching science, which OP does not.

Wen Ning wants to know if they are going to have a feud, and she tells him there already is one. She tells explains to him that they're good Wens, not evil Wens, and that Jiang Cheng is fucked, and they should send the Jiangs away in the morning before Wen Chao comes around. 

Wen Ning whines at her about all of this, shifting into little-brother persona and acting like he didn't just take down 40 of Wen Chao's soldiers in a single night. He does this same persona shifting in his later unlife, with Wei Wuxian. When there is trouble, he's extremely effective, and can even tail WWX and Lan Wangji without getting caught, but then he is hopeless when dealing with turnips or children. 

Here, it seems like a version of Wei Wuxian's own little-brother persona, in which he pretends to be helpless so that his sister can take care of him.

#studyblr

Wei Wuxian comes into Wen Qing's head shop to ask her for medical books. He loves his brother so much he's volunteering for a research project. We've seen him be clever before; we've seen circumstantial evidence that he's a good student, but now we're going to see him actually buckling down and doing intellectual work.

Wen Qing thinks its hopeless and wants Wei Wuxian to get some rest. But he gives her puppydog eyes, so she sets him up in her library.

Wei Wuxian reads a huge pile of medical books and learns interesting things about the human body.   

(more after the cut)

Hopefully he does not splotch ink all over them while he holds this wet brush directly over the page. Why does he even have a brush in his hand? Is he taking notes in the margin? 

Wen Qing eventually tells him to take a break and go see Jiang Yanli.

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

Jiang Yanli is tending to Jiang Cheng, gently telling him to suck it up by citing their father, which is probably not the greatest idea. 

Yanli's wearing dark blue with white and looks awesome.  It's not Gusu Lan blue, but the blue and white is an interesting choice for the excruciating heart to heart they're about to have.  

Wei Wuxian shows up looking terrible, or the Xiao Zhan version of terrible, i.e. handsome and a little scruffy. But also worn out, unhappy, and fragile.

Jiang Yanli wants him to rest, but he wants to find a way to repair Jiang Cheng's core, and his mind races, trying to think of where he can get books and who can help him. His thoughts instantly go to Cloud Recesses and Lan Wangji. His face lights up at the thought that Lan Wangji will help him, and he hops up, ready to dash off and find him.

The first time I watched this I was like, dude yes you’re in love, but you can’t just dash off to find Lan Wangji, not when there’s a war on.  This time I was like, actually wow things would turn out a whole lot better if you got Lan Wangji to help you, instead of coming up with your own plan.

Mother Mother Can You Tell Me

Jiang Yanli tells him to slow his roll.  He's pushing himself too hard and she's afraid he will collapse. Then Wei Wuxian comes out and says what's driving him: maybe all these disasters are his fault.

It's telling, I think, that he cites Madame Yu, not Jiang Cheng, in this moment, even though Jiang Cheng has blamed him much more thoroughly and consistently. He's talking about one mother figure, to another mother figure, and looking for absolution.

He super does not get what he's looking for.

Jiang Yanli slowly lets go of him and goes the fuck off. She asks, rhetorically, what he's to blame for, and then lists off all of the shit that's happened.  She finishes up by saying, look at our situation; blaming won't help anything. 

It's unclear, because language/translation, if her answer is "it doesn't matter who's to blame" I.E. "yes, it's your fault, but I'm letting it go" or if she is saying "how does blaming yourself help anything?" I.E. "it's not your fault, stop being a drama llama."

Her body language, though, seems pretty blameful - she lets go of him, yells at him, sits down and turns away from him.  And his reaction is not one of shared grief, or of someone who is trying to get over himself; he's totally crushed, and he literally never unburdens himself to her again.  Even when he asks her, much later, about love, he immediately backs out of the conversation. 

There is no violence in this moment and her reaction is understandable, but this is kind of similar to that one time when his brother choked him in a beautiful field of grass, in order to make himself feel better. 

Then she kind of relents and takes his hand, telling him that she needs him and reminding him that he promised that they will go back to Lotus Pier. I don't remember him promising this, but okay. 

He puts his head on her lap and he cries, she cries, comatose Jiang Cheng cries; FUCK this episode.  

Jiang Cheng manages to cry only one tear and does it on the side of his face that his siblings can't see because he's not going to give them the satisfaction of sharing this moment with him, I guess.

When Wei Wuxian puts his head on Jiang Yanli's lap, it's part of a ritual for them, that they both are comforted by; he does it again much later, after they return to Lotus Pier. But this ritual does not actually do anything to relieve his burdens. As a male adult, and the only Jiang Clan disciple with any abilities, it falls to him to save the clan, whatever it takes, and he is heavily aware of it.

Wen Qing comes along and sees the sweet part of this complicated Shijie-Shidi dynamic, and decides to help with Wei Wuxian's research project. When the trio had just lost their parents, gotten sick, been pursued by enemies, & had one of Yanli's little brothers horribly wounded, Wen Qing was like, eh, I'll do the doctor stuff but that's it. But lap-crying is another level. 

Wen Qing: Nooo don't put your head on her knees I failed my saving throw

Group Project

Wen Qing goes and cleans up the mess in the library, putting everything in order and settling in to read systematically. Wen Qing probably has the prettiest bullet journal. (OP looks proudly at the 100 loose slips of paper and piles of random stuff on her own desk)

Wei Wuxian has shaved and rested and comes in with a tray of food for Wen Qing, and then goes to his table in the back to start working. He claims he made "porridge" for her and that she has to eat to gain strength, and she gives him an intrigued expression.  This moment is just blatant het baiting.  

In fact the food he brings her is clearly not porridge, which might just be a translation error, but also he totally can't cook, so it's not clear if he's joking and Yanli or Wen Ning made the food, or if this is just inedible.

The Things We Do For Love

Yanli is working in the meth lab and coughing a lot. Yanli's chronic illness is a sign of what's to come for Wei Wuxian, because strong cultivators don't get sick. Yet Yanli, as a physically vulnerable person, who has either a weak golden core, or none, is still intrinsically valuable.  Her presence in this scene is a reminder that Jiang Cheng's life is not, actually, over; he just feels like it is.

While Yanli cooks the meth, Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing have a study montage that is the equivalent of a training montage, except without "Eye of the Tiger" on the soundtrack.

Jiang Cheng remains unconscious. Apparently if you stick nails in the top of someone's head, you make them sleep, and in the back of their head, you turn them into part of your zombie army. Fortunately Wen Qing's aim is good. Jiang Cheng is looking devastatingly handsome as usual the TV version of unwell, and has grown a perfect Dorito-chip of stubble on his chin to go with his new 'stache.

Eventually Wei Wuxian changes back into his non-vampire robe and he finds the answer in an old scroll book. The Ikea instruction picture shows arrows going from the guy on the left to the guy on the right.  Clearly it's not a great procedure for the guy on the left.

Wei Wuxian's face shows us exactly how not great. 

Like walking in the rain and the snow and there’s no place to go and you’re feeling like a part of you is dying

He goes outside and gazes up at the trees and the sky as he contemplates the sacrifice that circumstance is forcing on him. He's not even making a choice at this point; his choice was made the moment he found the procedure. But it's going to be a tremendous loss for him. He values sword cultivation at least as much as Jiang Cheng does; he even fell in love with a boy over crossed swords. So he sits and just kind of comes to terms with this new understanding of his future. (Big gifs here)

Wen Qing finds him sitting, stunned, on the porch. She doesn't know what's up so she just sits quietly with him until he's ready to tell her.

She doesn't love the plan.  

Thunder, Th-th-thunder

Wen Ning is bringing food up when he sees them arguing, and he is startled by situationally appropriate thunder and lightning. Having recently watched The Lost Tomb Reboot I've come to expect thunder and lighting to appear on cue in any possible situation, so the fact that this mini-storm clears right up again doesn't bother me.

What About You?

Wen Ning dashes inside to see what Mom and Dad are fighting about. They're having a polite shouting match because Wen Qing refuses to yank out Wei Wuxian's core. 

Wen Qing: I hate the idea of harming you Wei Wuxian: I don’t even understand that sentence

Wei Wuxian doesn’t, of course, feel that he is important in any way, and ignores her concerned and appalled expressions in favor of telling her to just do it anyway. Amazingly, this does not convince her. 

OP’s 177cm-tall son keeps telling her this

Then Wei Wuxian plays the "you know Jiang Cheng" card, which...I guess she does? Maybe he was chatting her up more than we saw in Cloud Recesses? He hasn't given her the comb or anything yet. Wei Wuxian explains that Jiang Cheng cares about gain and loss, and cultivation is his life. If he can only be ordinary the rest of his life will be ruined.

Wen Qing asks the question that nobody ever asks him: What about you? 

Wei Wuxian has literally nothing to say to that, possibly because the question is so new to him. 

Wen Ning doesn't know what's going on but comes squarely in on team Wei, of course, and begs his sister to Do The Thing.  How fucking horrified is Wen Ning going to be when he learns what The Thing is? What he is personally going to help do to his beloved friend? Yikes.   

Wen Qing caves, warning them that the chance of success is only 50 percent. Wei Wuxian is happy to take those odds.

Lan Wangji, projecting his voice from Episode 46: fifty percent, are you fucking kidding me?

Soundtrack: 1. Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham 2. The Things We Do For Love by 10cc 3. Thunder by Imagine Dragons

[mythicandco]

I have 1% Battery Left And I’m Wasting it on This

A.K.A. Philip B. Wittebane (in which the “B” stands for “Belos”)

Warning: More than 90% of this is pure headcanoning and theorizing, based on the evidence that’s arisen and the ideas of many other members of the fandom. This theory has been circling the Owl House fandom for months, I DID NOT ORIGINALLY CREATE IT. Brooke and North are from this and so is some of the story, but the majority of the details are the work of my own convoluted brain. This was kinda disproved by Yesterday’s Lie but I want to post it before my computer dies. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this summarized monstrosity… 

Everything is once again below the cut

Philip stumbles into the Boiling Isles by complete accident while on a hike through the woods, tripping into a rift in the fabric of space-time created by Titan’s blood interacting with other various magical substances. He doesn’t realize he’s in another realm until he actually stops to look around, and is startled to come face-to-face with a trio of witches. 

The first witch, Brooke, is taller than their companions, with a big ol’ witchy hat and a pair of grey, tasseled earrings. North, only slightly shorter than Brooke, has a similar hat along with a matching cloak and blonde, curled hair. Her face is covered in scars. The last witch is Kirani, who ends up being a minor character but eh.

The trio is here to collect Titan’s blood for Brooke’s experiments with magic. They believe that by using their knowledge of potions, they can create an elixir of some form to allow witches to perform magic without the use of glyphs. The exact recipe is a work in progress, but they know that Titan’s blood will be a key ingredient. 

When the group first encounters Philip, they are startled by his small, round ears. The bemused human assures them he means no harm and eventually they decide that even if he does want to hurt them, he doesn’t have access to the magical knowledge to do so. This is further proven when a dragon nearly eats Philip (more on that later). They take him to their village to help him find a way home and survive until then. 

Over the next five or so years the group spends a lot of time together, Philip begins writing a journal, and North, Brooke and Philip form a friendship, often going on adventures together with the help of their palismans. North even trusts Philip enough to let him use her staff for transportation until he eventually gets the chance to carve his own. During this time Philip also learns a lot about glyph magic and the creatures of the Boiling Isles, and is surprised at how naturally it comes for him to draw the glyphs from memory and get them right. 

At one point Philip and the others travel to the Knee to retrieve some Titan’s blood from Eclipse Lake. Brooke stays behind to start collecting the other, more local ingredients to their spell, and North is forced to stay behind due to injuries sustained after fighting off a swarm of small, dragon-like creatures.

The expedition is a disaster, and after mistaking fool’s blood for Titan’s blood, Philip is the only one who makes it out alive following the cave-in. Philip is horrified at this turn of events but simultaneously relieved that Brooke and North didn’t accompany him on this particular mission. He comes back with the Titan’s blood, but not the rest of the group, and has to explain what happened. 

The village begins spreading rumors that he killed them to take the blood for himself, or that he is too incompetent to continue leading these expeditions. Brooke and North also get a share of the blame, being the ones who brought the human to their village in the first place. Brooke retreats to their study for a few weeks, taking the Titan’s blood with them. 

Things get even worse after the Titan’s blood excursion and the neighboring witch tribes hear about the dangerous human who supposedly kills witches and other creatures in cold blood for his own gain. (Rumors are nasty things, slightly more terrifying the longer they’re out there.) Philip finds it almost ironic that in this world of freaks and monsters, he’s the target of the torches and pitchforks. 

While out trading at a small market shared by a couple of the tribes, North is confronted by the leader of another clan and accused of betraying her kind. Things escalate quickly and she barely gets out without things coming to blows. 

Philip starts worrying that he is becoming a burden and a danger to the others, not because he actually wants to hurt them, but because they will get in trouble for sheltering him. He offers to help out Brooke with the portal, which is nearly finished. While they are distracted, he pockets some of the Titan’s blood and some other magical supplies from when Brooke was experimenting with improving a witch’s ability to perform magic. 

Philip uses the potion on himself, but because he is human, not a witch or demon, and isn’t connected to the Titan, he can only use magic by taking it from another source. He starts off using various plants and the horns and tusks of the creatures the village usually uses for jewelry or tosses aside after, I dunno, making a pie with it or something, and practices using spell circles in secret, making sure he can defend himself and the others should the need arise. 

Soon he discovers that he needs more and more magic to stay powerful - to stay stable - and slips up in front of Brooke, losing control for less than a moment before using a spare flower he’d been keeping in his back pocket as a gift for North.

Brooke, understandably, is freaked out by what the fuck just happened and Philip begs for them to keep it a secret. He admits that he stole some of Brooke’s concoctions so that he could protect himself from the witches of the other tribes, and that he needs a reliable source of energy to continue using magic. Brooke argues that what he’s doing is dangerous and unnatural, and that a human shouldn’t be able to use magic the way he does. 

Philip is furious, yelling at Brooke for hogging all of the magic for themselves. He says that where he comes from, witches were supposed to be burned at the stake or drowned. Brooke, horrified, backs away. Philip realizes he’s gone too far and flees back to the home he and the witches constructed when he first arrived in the Boiling Isles. 

His state continues to worsen, and eventually he is driven to snap his own palisman in order to consume its essence. With horrified awe, Philip discovers palismen hold far more magical energy than the little table scraps he’d been collecting before. He is able to briefly rejoin the rest of the tribe, but Brooke doesn’t speak to him and he keeps thinking about his broken palisman.

A few days later Brooke finally finishes the portal and gives Philip the key. The human doesn’t get the chance to test out the door before one of the rival tribes attacks the village out of nowhere and Philip joins in defending the people he’s spent years with. North is stunned that he can weave magic without the use of glyphs, but she doesn’t have the time to consult Brooke on where the human gained this new ability. 

At some point Philip corners the leader of the rival clan and nearly kills her, running out of magic just before the final blow is dealt. He reaches for the nearest source of power - North’s palisman - and snaps it in half. 

For a few moments, North and Brooke process what just happened amidst the chaos. Then the fighting stops and everyone watches as Philip finishes consuming the palisman’s essence. 

Philip looks up with glowing eyes and pauses, confused at everyone’s expressions. The fighting picks back up, this time directed at him, and someone throws a spear straight through his chest. It goes in one side and comes out the other, but the human(?) remains unharmed. The witches and demons start freaking the fuck out, because wouldn’t you in this situation? 

Finally registering what he’s done, a horrified Philip backs away and makes a break for the trees. He never sees Brooke or North again. 

In a clearing in the woods, Philip summons the door to the Human Realm but doesn’t have the courage to step through. He realizes that he is no better than the other monsters of the Demon Realm. He’d probably be shunned if he went home. Would anyone even recognize what he’d become? He once again briefly loses control of himself before giving up and throwing the key to the portal into the trees as hard as he can, before disappearing into the foliage himself.

North burns everything Philip touched, his books, home, everything in her fit of anger over the loss of her palisman and one of her best friends (or maybe something more). She is furious with Brooke for not telling her about him sooner and the two witches engage in an argument. Afterwards, Brooke discovers the journal Philip was going to donate to the market library, the one with all of his recorded notes and diagrams about the fantastical horror of the Demon Realm, and instead of burning it, donates it in their lost friend’s name.

A few centuries go by and Philip Wittebane’s name is practically lost to time, save for the journal that still resides in the almost-constantly growing library in what is now Bonesborough. 

A powerful, controlling figure arises, claiming he alone can communicate with the Titan, and that the wild magic used by witches is wrong. Emperor Belos unites the witches of the Boiling Isles under the Coven system, ascending the throne and becoming the most powerful being (both physically and politically) on the Boiling Isles. 

The rest, as they say, is history.

[marril96]

Out of the Woods

Chapter 5: The Cure

Characters: reader, Rowena

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: An explosive argument leads to you running away and puts Rowena in danger.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian​

*****

Rowena was okay.

Mentally, that was. Physically, she was wounded, badly so; body littered with injuries, clothes drenched in dried blood.

But she was okay. Despite everything she'd been through, she still had it in her to tease and smile all throughout the drive home. Sam and Dean were kind enough to offer it, and there was no way either of you could refuse. Traveling back by bus or taxi would lead to questions you couldn't answer and comments you didn't have the energy to retort to.

So the Winchesters it was.

Sam helped you walk Rowena inside while Dean carried your bags, leaving them in the living room as you'd instructed him to. They offered further help, anything you needed, but Rowena was adamant that you were fine. You were big girls, and this wasn't the first time one of you had gotten hurt. You would be fine.

It wasn't a lie. You would be fine. But, as you walked Sam and Dean out and the three of you said your goodbyes, your mind kept flashing back to that horrid day in May three years ago. The day that had started out alright. That, just like today, featured a fight and you running off.

The day you'd returned, having cooled off enough, to a messed up hotel room. Furniture upturned. Blood sprayed everywhere. Rowena's charred body lying amidst the destruction.

For a moment, you could feel the putrid smell of burning flesh, and you were back there, and your heart was racing just as helplessly, just as fearfully as it had back then.

Rowena hadn't been hurt badly since then. Her injuries now couldn't compare to what Lucifer had put her through, but you hadn't had to take care of her to this extent, hadn't had to nurse her back to health, since that day.

She waited for you in the living room as you'd left her, seemingly bored out of her mind, looking through her purse absent-mindedly. She perked up as you walked in, lips grazed by a smile. Clearly happy to see you. Satisfied to have you all to herself, for as long as she wanted.

You shared the sentiment. Just like years ago, you never wanted to part from her again. Never wanted to leave her side. No matter how angry you were, how frustrated. It didn't matter anymore; nothing mattered except that she was here, she was safe, and she was yours. And she trusted you in ways she never trusted anyone in her life.

It was a privilege you took pride in.

"Okay," you said, looking her over. "Let's take your shirt off. I need to know what I'm dealing with."

Rowena raised a teasing eyebrow. "My, my. Thirsty, are we? I missed you, too, love."

"Yeah, you covered in blood is such a turn on," you deadpanned.

"You know I'd never kink-shame."

Because some of the shit she was into was too much even for the likes of you.

"I'm so blessed." It was only half sarcasm; you truly were blessed. Even with all her flaws, you wouldn't give her up for the world.

You helped her remove her blouse, slowly, patiently, taking care not to cause her unnecessary pain. Rowena let out a few hisses, but for the most part she took it as a champ. She knew it was necessary for you to get a better look at her injuries, and, though her pride surely protested it, she cooperated to the best of her ability.

To think mere years ago she would have pushed you away and insisted on handling everything herself. You were glad she knew she could count on you, that she didn't fear betrayal. She trusted you, immensely, with everything she had, and you swore to never do anything to break that trust.

Her chest and arms, thankfully, looked better than her face. There were blooming bruises, especially around her wrists, and a stray cut here and there, but nothing too extreme. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a potion and a few days rest. And some cuddles, because whenever one of you was in need of care, emotional or physical, there was no better comfort than cuddles.

"What did he do to you?" you asked, carefully tapping around one of the cuts with a wet cloth to clean it of dried blood.

Rowena stiffened. "Horrible things."

"Such as?"

You cut tell he'd cut her. But what else had he done? Had he slapped her? Punched her? Hit her with a different sort of weapon?

From the little you'd seen before Sam and Dean had doused the cabin in gasoline and set it on fire with his body inside of it, the man had accumulated quite a little torture set. Various instruments had lined the walls. Some were strewn over a small table by the wall. A couple on the floor. All caked in rusty blood.

Clearly used on his victims.

Had he had time to try some out on Rowena?

"I'd rather not." Her voice was low when she responded. Quiet. As weak as earlier in the cabin.

You looked her in the eyes. Heart shattered with sympathy at the hurt in them, with pain, with guilt. If you hadn't started the fight, none of this would have happened.

This was the second time you'd left her, pissed to high heavens, only to find her in peril.

"Of course." You squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

You took care of the rest of her injuries in silence. Rowena remained compliant, never once complaining. Other than a few hisses and moans when you dabbed at a bruise too hard, she behaved, which earned her smiles and kisses.

"Good girl," you would say each time you would be done with a particularly bad wound. And she would smile because praise was her drug and she could never get enough.

Once you were done, you looked her over one more time, just to be sure, and helped her into a nightgown — picking it out, you were going for soft, comfortable, but you couldn't help finding her appealing in the black cloth that hugged her every curve just perfectly. Not even bruises and bandages could mar her beauty.

You suggested taking her to bed, but Rowena insisted on staying where she was while you worked on the potion for her. She loved watching you work. Loved observing you flipping through a spellbook and picking out ingredients, double checking the recipe to make sure you got everything right. No words left her mouth, but the proud smile she displayed said more than enough.

It was always like that. She drew immense pleasure from watching you do magic, a sense of pride. She'd passed on the knowledge, and you were using it with the same confidence she bore. The confidence she'd gained as a young witch herself, learning the ways of magic, growing the power that bloomed within her, surpassing that of the greats who'd taught her.

Your power could never match hers, but what you had was more than enough. You had skill. You weren't perfect, but you were a damn good student. Great in your own way. Better than most, because you'd been tutored by the best. No matter how in love she was with you, she wouldn't lie about something like that.

"Here you go," you said, handing her the concoction in her favorite mug.

Rowena took it with shaky hands. She inhaled, then took a sip, a small one, exploring the taste. "Mm."

"Good?"

"Excellent." Her lips widened into a smile. "I've expected nothing less from my girl."

You couldn't help a grin, cheeks flushing. Her praise was one of your greatest weaknesses.

She finished the potion in a few gulps. You left the empty mug in the sink, to be washed later, and took her to bed. You considered a shower, but given Rowena's state, you didn't want to leave her alone for long, so you just threw your clothes off and pulled on your nightwear; a shower could wait until morning.

She instantly curled against you as you laid down. Your standard position, particularly when she needed comfort. You wrapped an arm around her, careful not to hurt her. She was a fragile little thing. No matter how tough she played, she was still a person. She still hurt and bled and suffered like everyone else.

"You're the best, too," she said after a moment of deafening silence, startling you from your thoughts.

"What?"

She swallowed. Sucked in a breath, deep and steady, as if she were preparing for a marathon. "I was wrong."

That wasn't something you heard every day.

Rowena rarely, if ever, admitted she was wrong. She didn't express regret so openly. Didn't apologize for her pride was too great to allow her to lower herself to that level.

And yet…

"You're enough." Her voice trembled. "More than enough."

Oh, right. The argument. The thing that led to all this mess.

"We were both so angry," you said. Understatement of the century.

Rowena shrugged. "You were right. I do go out of my way to help the Winchesters."

Was that guilt in her voice? Regret?

Your heart jumped. "I don't think helping people is wrong. I just… I'm worried."

"Because of Samuel."

"Yeah."

As much as you disliked him, you didn't think the hunter would hurt her on purpose. But accidents happened all the time. Being around him was dangerous.

"I trust him," Rowena said.

"And I trust you," you told her. "I just…"

"I know. Anything could happen."

"Exactly."

For once she understood. You were on the same page. No shouting. No arguments. Just a conversation, one you should have had ages ago.

She squeezed your hand. "I promise you I won't die. Not permanently, at least. Samuel and I will change our fate."

Tears stung at your eyes. "That's what you keep saying, but—"

"But nothing. We will do it. I'm in no hurry to die. And I'm pretty sure he likes me enough to want me to stick around."

"It's because he doesn't live with you," you joked.

"Oi!" she said, feigning offense. Then she grew serious again. "I won't go to them as often, but I will help from time to time."

You pondered on it for a moment, weighed the pros and cons. It wasn't ideal, but it seemed like a good compromise.

As dangerous as it was, you couldn't forbid her from doing it. The last thing you wanted was to be that kind of girlfriend. You just wanted her to be safe.

"I need to do some good."

"You don't owe anyone anything."

She'd done plenty of bad in her life, but she didn't have to make up for it for the rest of her days. She didn't have to put herself in danger.

"I know," Rowena said. "But I want to do it."

"Okay." So long as it was her wish. So long as she didn't feel pressured. "But after you're all healed up, alright? I don't want you doing anything in this condition."

"I like it when you’re in charge," she teased.

"Shut up," you said, flustered.

"It's sexy."

"You're horrible."

"You love me."

"I do." Your biggest weakness. "Sometimes I wish I didn't."

"I find that hard to believe," Rowena said.

Because it was a lie. Loving her was the best thing you'd ever done.

"As if you don't love me," you retorted.

"Never said I don't."

You never tired of hearing it.

Pressing a soft kiss to her scalp, you closed your eyes and sank into peaceful sleep, the woman you loved safe in your arms. Cherished and cared for.

As lucky, you hoped, as you were to be by her side.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie​​ @oswinthestrange​​ @songofthecagedmoose​​ @apurdyfulmind​​ @getthesalt-sam​​ @metallihca​​ @salembitchtrials​​ @jay-eris​​ @hellsmother​​ @elizabeth-effie​​ @shadowgirl-vsb​​ @rowenaswife​​ @wonderifshelikesroses​​ @xfireandsin​​ @liddell-alien​​ @hotdiggitydammit​​ @lae-lae​​ @darkhumorsblog​​ @angel7376​​ @cherrypierowena​​ @evil-regal-vampiress​​​ @hellbentredhead​​​ @angel-e-v-a​​​ @a-queen-and-her-throne​​​ @carryon-doctor-lock​​​ @fangirlxwritesx67​​​ @mintymarshmellows​​​ @midnight-lestrange​​​ @osterhagen​​​ @impala-1979​​​ @gracib16​​​ @feelsandotps​

[mushroommyceliummystery]

A Foragers Gold

Hello again and welcome back to my learning journey into the amazing world of fungi. As always pre-post disclaimer that I am not an expert in this field by any means and you should always consult a professional before ingesting any mushrooms. Now I have some unfortunate news for this week in the realm of mushroom spotting as there have been none. It has been rainy, but it has been cold as well so spotting any of these fungi has been increasingly hard. I am hopeful on the next post I will have seen some new pictures ready fingers crossed. The mushroom of the month will still be happening though it will not be a mushroom I have found and pictured myself, unfortunately. Anyways let’s get into this week’s topic and what is that topic you might ask? Foraging and cooking it’s a mix of the two as I’ve been looking into how to incorporate these mushrooms that grow all around us back into our diets!

Now first off, the most important part of this entire process when eating a mushroom found out in the wild is to be sure it is the exact one you are looking for. Expertise in the field of mushroom hunting is a difficult ability to obtain however it is crucial to being able to safely eat what you forage. Wrong identification of any mushroom can lead to sickness and potentially even death, so extreme caution is recommended. To begin gaining this expertise one must first familiarize themselves with what can grow around them. What is good to eat, what is poisonous, where to find these fungi, what are the right growing conditions/seasons are, and so on. Having these general understandings can lead to deeper ones after doing research on each of the mushrooms you can find locally.

Tools you may want when out foraging for mushrooms include a basket or way to carry the mushrooms you forage and a knife of some kind to cut the mushrooms. Now there is some contention in the mushroom foraging community whether you should cut or pull your mushrooms however it seems it more depends on what you want to do with them. Pulling a mushroom out of the ground lets you see what’s going on below it, therefore, making some identification easier. Cutting them makes for easier and not as dirty transportation so cleaning them to eat is not as difficult. Research has shown that cutting or pulling them has no impact on future growth however it’s still in your best interest to forage sustainability.

Cooking these mushrooms depends on your own tastes and texture wants as there are a wide number of ways one can serve these up. If you opt for a simpler way of eating them just fry them up in a cast-iron skillet with some salt and pepper. Or if you want to get fancy and use a whole recipe with the foraged mushrooms only being a part of a potentially bigger fully foraged meal! Mushrooms are so great because of their versatility when it comes to cooking. Some mushrooms can stand as substitutes for meats like in a Portobello burger or one that tastes like seafood with the chicken of the wood’s fungus. There are so many different flavors and textures present within a variety of mushrooms you could very well despise one and love another.

Finally, for this week’s mushroom which is not as exciting since I don’t have my own picture to share nevertheless, we will continue. This time around I decided we would look at a more visually interesting mushroom to identify. After seeing the picture I’m sure many are familiar with this mushroom as it is quite a popular one. First off, its cap structure is quite unique compared to most other mushrooms or fungi having an almost brain-like structure to it. Coloration we see a yellow-like beige color that seems uniform throughout the stem and cap. Without further ado, we have a morel mushroom a very tasty but somewhat difficult to obtain ingredient. Not only are they difficult to obtain but are difficult to forage as well due to the presence of false morels. Which are just mushrooms that look very similar in structure with color variations to the morel mushroom. If foraging for these kinds of mushrooms exercises extreme caution and consult an expert before ingesting them as their poisonous counterparts are quite dangerous. Now that does it for this week’s portion of the mushroom learning journey. Hopefully next time around ill have some nicer pictures for you but until then thanks for stopping by and see you soon!

[dpimagines]

The Sharpest Lives; Wade Wilson (feat. Vanessa Carlysle, Nathan Summers) part one of [?]

author’s note: This is the soulmate au where you feel your soulmate’s pain. (In my take of this AU, it only starts once someone turns 16 to avoid traumatic complications due to age gaps) You’re a mutant with a few powers: by consuming normally or by absorbing someone’s blood through the epidermis, you can temporarily gain their abilities, and your own blood can heal others to an extent. not only that, but you can control blood, kinda like water-bending. This is an AU of Deadpool 2 that more than implies DP1 also went down differently. 

warnings (for the whole story): PTSD, blood, death, swearing, grief, DEPRESSION(!!), suicidal themes, self-harm, negative self-image, sexual themes; it’s Deadpool, you know the drill fam

There’s a bullet in your spine. It’s agonizing, but you grit your teeth. Wade’s blood will heal you, and you’ve faced worse. You’re his soulmate, after all.  

But then there’s another shot, and this time Wade howls your shared girlfriend’s name. You try to crawl over, so he can give her your blood, so she’ll be fine, but your world continues to get darker and your body feels so, so heavy. 

You wake up in the school infirmary. The place isn’t an unfamiliar sight, but as the events of last night come crashing back in, you’re terrified. 

You’re not a part of this day as much as they’d like you to be, but you don’t mind. You’d encouraged them to celebrate the anniversary of when they first met, and you’re excited to see what presents they get for each other. You and Vanessa coordinated gifts, she’s giving him her IUD and you’re giving him lingerie that’ll fit her rather nicely. You don’t want to be pregnant - and you definitely don’t want to pass on any of your genetics - so it makes the most sense for her to be the one to carry the child or children the three of you want to raise together. 

You’ve got a lovely necklace for her, an antique opal pendant. Opal is her birthstone, and it wasn’t exactly cheap, but… You wanted something perfect, and it spoke to you. You hope she’ll like it, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you try to restrain your excited smile. 

Wade’s late, but you two don’t mind. Sure, you’ll both feign annoyance, but he’s not getting too hurt. There’s always the simmering pain of his skin that has become the background noise of your life and his, but it’s okay. There are worse things. There are always worse things. 

He comes home, makes some excuse about rescuing handi-capable children that makes you snort before Vanessa tackles him with a kiss. 

You stand at the sidelines, and she waves you over. That’s something you appreciate about her, for sure. She always notices you despite your solitary nature. They both do, but you’ve always wondered if Vanessa not feeling yours or Wade’s pain is a fluke. She just seems… Right. She’s soulmate-less, which is rare but not unheard of, especially as the world’s population grows. 

She gives him her IUD, and he gives her an arcade token. They’re confused by each others’ gifts, before eventually figuring them out. You give them the ones you got for them and they both grin, though Vanessa’s smile is accompanied by tears and complaints that this is one of the best gifts she’s ever gotten and she has nothing in return for you. You just tell her wearing it is enough and shyly flirting, telling her that the two of them will be giving you a show soon enough. 

Your back is to the door when it bursts open, and you’re shot in the back before you can turn around. Wade fends off the attackers, but not before Vanessa’s shot as well. She’s so far away, and after that it’s just…

Now. 

The constant searing discomfort you feel in your flesh is still there, but your back doesn’t hurt, which means you’re healed. You wonder where they are; You’re completely alone here. This infirmary being empty is a rare experience, but not one that you cherish as you realize that you being alone is more than physical. 

She’s dead. 

You feel wretched pain - nearly as bad as when Wade was in Weapon X - rip through your body, and you scream in torment.

It’s like you’re being blown apart, that’s the only possible explanation. You’re on fire - actually, Wade’s on fire. Your body hurts like it’s been cut into jagged pieces, pain bursting from every slice. Your feel the need to squirm, to writhe in discomfort, but also the need to freeze, to not move until it goes away. 

But the suffering will never end, now that she’s gone. Hot tears roll down your face and there’s a dull ache in your chest that’s doubly infinite due to the fact that Wade is also grieving. You want to rip your own skin off, to carve your heart out, anything to make it stop. 

Ellie bursts in, worried. You’re a couple years older than her, but the two of you have known each other for around a decade at this point, both of your mutations having manifested early. Her girlfriend - who you’re also friends with - Yukio, accompanies her. 

“What happened, are you okay? Of course you’re not okay, but…” Yukio trails off, and they both look to you expectantly. 

“I- I’m fine, I just…” You pant. “Wade, uh, blew up. Where is he?”

“He dropped you here with some of his blood and said he had some stuff to take care of,” Ellie explains, not realizing she probably should’ve minced those words. At least she didn’t use the a-word. “What happened?”

“We… We were celebrating, the… The anniversary of when he and- Of when he and Vanessa met. And then there were these- These men, and I was shot in the back, and Vanessa was shot, too, I think- I think she’s dead,” you re-hash last night, again, trembling at the memory. 

“Oh my god,” Ellie and Yukio both say - not quite at the same time, but close together. They’re so close together, and you’re all alone. 

“I’ll tell Colossus to go find him,” Ellie assures you, and you nod in acknowledgement. “We should get some food in you.”

The thought makes you gag, but your grit your teeth as tears prick your eyes. 

“Just some soup, something small?” Yukio requests. 

“I’ll- I’ll try,” you compromise, and they leave the room. You’re tempted to kill yourself, but you’re so unmotivated in general that you can’t even bring yourself to rise from the bed - and you don’t want them to be the ones to find you. 

So, you lay there in the purest of agony for quite some time, only accompanied by silence, which is simply more agony. Eventually the explosion pain fades - Wade has likely succumbed to his injuries and temporarily died.

But then, another explosion-like pain rips through you - more specifically, your head - dissipating and leaving you with a strange, tingling pain in your arm and half your torso. It’s livable, like the cancer pain, but… Different. It hurts like the section of your body is falling asleep, but in a less distracting way. Not to mention, your grief is now triple. 

The girls come back with the soup, and you get the feeling you shouldn’t tell them about this new pain. Something’s wrong. 

Tomato. That’s the flavor of the soup.

“S’that family recipe you like,” Ellie notes. 

“That why it took so long?” You tease, singular cheek tugging up to create a bitter, sideways smile. She sighs.  

“Colossus immediately left to find Wade,” Yukio informs you, and you can tell by her expression she said it to brighten things for you. 

But you can’t brighten a broken bulb. 

“Thanks,” you tell them. The pain of Wade’s skin and the explosion fade away, meaning he’s dead… But you’re still left with the tingling sensation, as well as even more grief. Is there… Someone else? 

It’s uncommon but not entirely rare, but this is sudden. You would’ve been feeling their pain regardless of their age, and you doubt any soulmate of yours was just born, especially not intensely grieving.

You really might kill yourself now.

[baretklap]

Hypnotic Short #3: Cocktail Party

Having experienced the surreal journey of going from being a lovable but underachieving underdog to quite possibly the biggest star in professional wrestling industry in span of just 3 years, Becky Lynch knew she had every right to enjoy her life now that all of her hard work had paid off in a massive way. Her newly-found success was so big that it even surpassed the realm of professional wrestling, landing the gorgeous Irish women some very distinguished roles in Hollywood movies. Her latest role was her biggest one to date, so was the latest movie she was a part of, where Becky had the opportunity to work with one of the fastest rising, young directors in the entire film industry. The movie was considered both a commercial and a critical success, just like her own performance. And after everything would be set and done, she would be going back to her cute little fiancé and to the world of professional wresting in general to continue where she had left off: At the top. So, yeah, being Becky Lynch pretty much equaled winning at life, it felt good to be her. And it certainly felt good to be a guest at the cocktail party that the director of her last movie had thrown because of the success of their last movie, partially because it was a damn good party with some absolutely delicious cocktails and partially because she wanted to celebrate her success, knowing she deserved to spoil herself between putting every bit of acting skill she had possessed into this movie and having to put every bit of her wrestling skills into WWE. Being ‘The Man’ didn’t come easy, after all. With a glass of cocktail already in her hand, her sight turned to the director who seemed to have a fun conversation with two women who she recognized from the make-up team. Looking at him reminded her that she could thank him for putting this party together…and she supposed she could thank him for being a good director too. Becky definitely knew how much bad directing could take away from good performances and the director being a man who always knew what he wanted definitely helped get the best performance out of her. So, Becky slowly got closer to them without them being aware of her presence, waiting for him to finish whatever he was telling to the girls. “…and then, the man admits that he had been having an affair with his secretary and they were at her house but the wife looks at his shoes and says ‘Liar, you’ve been playing golf!’.’’ The joke seemed to generate some small chuckles amongst the three and that’s when Becky stepped in after taking another sip from her delicious cocktail, swiftly entering the conversation with her speciality: a pun. “Ah, yes, my favourite type of golf course…the Inter Course!” Her own joke successfully extended the duration of collective laughter for a few seconds before everyone was ready to let the conversation continue. “Hey, Becky.” The director greeted her casually, which caused the wrestling star to tap his shoulder with a fist in a playful manner. “Hey.” “How have you been?” “Meh. Nothing special. Just enjoying the party like everyone else.” “Good to hear that.” The director said with a smile as Becky took another sip which caused a slight sense of warmth before the director took a glare at the two women and turning back to the redhead again. “So, you remember Marie and Michelle, right? From the make-up department.” Becky shook her head as a ‘yes’ before reaching to the make-up specialists with her hand, which they shook without any hesitation while holding a glass of half-drunk cocktail themselves with their other hands. “Hello, I’m Marie.” “Michelle.” Becky slightly eyed the two artists as they introduced themselves. Marie was the blonde one with short blonde hair while Michelle wore glasses and had her black hair in a tight bun. After having learned their names and which one is which, Becky once again turned to the director. “Well, you seemed to have a conversation before my arrival.” The director just raises one hand and jokingly dismisses it. “It was nothing. Marie and Michelle were just about to leave anyway.” Becky did not see the initial surprised expression on the make-up artist’ faces which obviously meant that the prospect of them leaving was news to them. That definitely helped the former wrestling champion to believe that they were actually leaving. The two women then spoke simultaneously before taking their leave. “Yes, director.” Becky looked a little puzzled about that phrase which the director took awareness of and reacted in a pretty dismissive tone as well. “Yeah, it’s a thing for some reason. Maybe they get off on that, who knows?” The director shrugged and Becky shrugged too, clearly not the type to judge people for their fetishes. The wrestling star then broke the awkward silence, with the intention to drag the conversation away from the fetish talk. “So, cool party, huh?” That once again put a smile on his face. “Yeah.” Becky took another sip as she came to the end of her glass. She then put the glass down on the nearest table before taking yet another. She could not get enough of those cocktails, she would admit to herself. “Someone likes the cocktails too much, I see.” The director now said in a playful tone, clearly seeing how quick she grabbed another glass after finishing one. “Yup, definitely cannot lie about that. They’re delicious.” Becky pretty much admitted defeat on that front as she continued to drink and feel good. Hands down the best cocktail she had ever tasted. “Glad to hear that…because I’ll give you a secret. It’s actually my recipe.” What? Becky definitely did not believe her ears at first. And after coming terms with the fact that she had really heard what she had heard, her brain did not believe the revelation. “You gotta be bullshitting me, surely?” The smug smile on his face did not give away if what he said was true or not. “I organized this party, that means I should know what cocktails to use in a cocktail party, right? I’m not bullshitting you. And don’t call me Shirley.” It only gained him another pseudo-punch in the shoulder as Becky could not contain a little laughter of her own as well. She then raised her glass slowly to hold it close to his face. “Okay, if this goodness is your invention, then you will have no problem telling me what did you put inside of this to make this so good.” The response coming from the director was just him raising his hands and slightly tilting his head. “Let it be my secret.” “A decent director. And a damn good cocktail maker too. Consider me impressed.” The director comically puts his hand on his chest to fake take offence to that. “Decent? You really know how to compliment a man, do you?” The two then shared a lengthy laugh amongst themselves before the director asked a question that would turn this conversation to a more serious tone from all this friendly banter. “So, what’s next for Becky Lynch? Are you willing to take another movie project? I mean, you’ve been climbing the stairs pretty fast and that’s damn impressive, trust me.” Becky very much knew a thing or two about climbing the stairs fast. It had been the same way in wrestling too after she clearly found the perfect character to play and started to impress enough people and right people too to finally give her the opportunities she felt she truly deserved. And once she had gotten them, she grabbed them by the balls and never let go, not just becoming the biggest female wrestler in WWE, but becoming the biggest wrestler in WWE period. Her ability to climb the stairs pretty fast after getting the right opportunities definitely helped her career in Hollywood, leading her to here and having this conversation with the director that helped her a lot, if Becky had to be honest and not just give herself all the credit. But, even though Becky knew she also had a bright future in Hollywood, her heart was in another place, the place that made her the woman she was today, the place her fiancé also worked, the place she never imagined leaving at all. Taking yet another sip from her new glass of cocktail and letting it make her feel comfortable enough to give an answer, she finally said so. “I’m thinking about returning to WWE, so no definite movie projects in the future for me.” The director did not seem very happy to hear that, but he hid it well even though Becky knew her answer didn’t make him the happiest person in the world. She wanted to see the director happy, so that was a shame. After a few seconds of another silence, the director broke it this time. “To be honest, I never quite got ‘professional wrestling’. I always thought WWE or places like that only consisted of athletic and muscular people with minimal talent at acting at best. That’s why working with you definitely surprised me, no offence.” “None taken.” The Irish woman replied pretty quickly before continuing to talk. “Those criticisms…well, they aren’t entirely wrong. But, they are kinda like my family. Even my fiancé works there, so it’s not that bad. It’s something that I enjoy a lot. I could not have become myself without WWE. And I hope you understand that, understand how important it is for me.” The expression on his face gave away that he understood, he even backed down a little. “If you say so, then I have no choice but to trust your judgement, Becky.” Becky was glad that he understood, the director was definitely an understanding man, which he proved yet again after proving it time after time during the filming process. “By the way, Becky, I was hoping to ask you something. Can we get to somewhere more private?” Becky raised an eyebrow at that, being confused but after taking another gulp, she complied with less but still remaining confusion on her mind as the director lead her to the terrace of the building they were holding the party. While following him, Becky’s eyes remained only on the director. Come to think of it, she was really feeling comfortable and warm enough to freely think about how attractive he was without her thoughts shifting once more to her fiancé and leaving her in a moral dilemma about what would be considered a betrayal to their love. The director-actress(wrestler) duo finally reached to their destination. The terrace wasn’t very crowded but it did not seem like the private place where the director could ask whatever he was going to ask to her. At least two people were near a cocktail table and drinking. After paying close attention to them, Becky realized that they were Marie and Michelle. Before she could interact with them, the director addresses them. “Hey, ladies. We meet again. I need a private place to speak with Miss Lynch, so can you leave at least until our conversation is over?” Becky watches as the make-up artists once again speak at the same time like the time they were inside. “Yes, director.” The two ladies then left again, leaving enough space for Becky and the director to have their private chat without anyone else hearing. But her mind was partially on the ‘yes, director’ thing and how Marie and Michelle did not hesitate to do what the director demanded from them even for a single moment. The director had quite the dominant personality in the set too, Becky now remembered. But she didn’t remember seeing his dominance made her felt something before. But this time, watching him order Marie and Michelle enough definitely made her feel weird…but in a good way…did she have the same fetish? Becky didn’t know and thankfully she didn’t need to think much further about it as the director interrupted her thoughts. “The night sky definitely looks beautiful.” Becky could not help but agree, but her admiration for the night sky is short-lived as she cannot help herself but to ask. “So, what were you going to ask me?” “Oh, right. So, I was going to ask you to consider making the shift to Hollywood full-time. I can help you with that, hell, I will gladly help you with that. Just…Becky, just know that you are too good for WWE.” There was that topic again. She was definitely uncomfortable with any thoughts of leaving WWE completely in behind of her. Why didn’t he just let it go? She knew that he held her in very high regard and there was no doubt that he wanted at least what he thought was best for her, but Becky wasn’t so sure she could agree with him despite how compelling of a person the director might be. “Look, I appreciate your offer and I’m definitely flattered by how highly you think of me. But deep down, at my core, at my heart, I’m a wrestler. The whole cinema thing, working with you, they’ve all been wonderful experiences for me, but I…I don’t know if I can just let my old life go like that at all. I just don’t want to forget where I came from…I just…can’t.” Becky sounded gradually more sadder as she rejected his offer, the reason being just that. Rejecting an offer from the director, going against his wishes like that…just made her feel sad. But it was a sadness she felt she deserved to feel by just rejecting something the director wanted. She…really wasn’t sure at all. “I…understand, Becky. Look, it was just a suggestion, alright? No need to get so tense about it. I’m sorry for making you feel like this.” Becky now felt even more sad that he felt sorry because of her. He was such an indulgent man. She wasn’t even sure if she had met a more indulgent man in her entire life. Her thoughs were once again interrupted as the director pointed to the table near them, which had more glasses of cocktails. Becky then realized that her glass was empty as well. She chuckled to herself, she guessed she loved the cocktails so much that she subconsciously made herself finish it without realizing she did that. “Looks like Marie and Michelle had left some more for us. Why don’t you drink some more, it’ll help you relax.” The director was right. She needed to drink some more of his amazing cocktails so she could relax. So she did. With each sip, she felt warmer, more relaxed. With each glass, she felt…more aroused. The cocktails were just…that good. So…heavenly. Heavenly cocktails made by a heavenly man… Becky just loved it. Utterly and throughoughly. Becky just drank…and watched the director as the moonlight exposed his good looks even more. He looked so dashing, even more so than… “So, tell me about wrestling then, Becky. Tell me about what about it that you love so much and maybe I’ll understand too.” Another wave of warmth washed through the Irish woman’s body as the man she was passionate about asked her about her job which she was also passionate about. She was quick to start talking after that. “I like…being an inspiration for millions, having a massive fanbase that will always have my back. I also li-“ Becky was caught unprepared and was taken aback when the director cuts her in the middle of her sentence. Did she say something wrong? “You can have all of that in Hollywood too. Well, Becky, I think even you can admit that wrestling fans in general are…kind of shitty. And there’s no guarantee that they won’t turn their back on you, now, is there?” The woman that once oozed confidence from her every fibre of being was reduced to an uncertain and weak mess and she didn’t even know why, she didn’t even think about why. She was just dominated in the conversation by the director…which definitely didn’t help her arousal problem. God yes, she definitely loved being dominated by him like that. Her reply came as uncertain as weak as she was. “B-but they didn’t before…” “Before.” The director had said that with so much confidence that Becky felt something inside her twitch. “You don’t know that, Becky. Look, I’m not even a wrestling fan but even I know that one day, they will just throw you aside like a strawberry bubblegum that had been chewed too much and left without any taste. Are you a strawberry bubblegum?” “I-It’s not like t-“ “Do you want to be a strawberry bubblegum?” She didn’t. She didn’t want to be thrown aside. She didn’t want to left without any taste and flavour. “No, I don’t want to be a strawberry bubblegum.” The director was smiling at both hearing that and hearing her say that with such confidence that definitely triumphed her earlier lack of confidence while she tried to resist his words, his ideas. And now that she was coming along to his way of thinking, it felt more right so she could tell it with that amount of confidence. “Then all you need to do is to quit WWE, quit wrestling and use your talents in a field that isn’t several levels below your talent.” With his each suggestion, the prospect of leaving wrestling completely behind her seemed more and more appealing and Becky both loved and hated it. Her lips formed the proper shape, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth to properly make the ‘y’ sound that would soon turn into a ‘yes’, but suddenly, the thought of her fiancé managed to delay the inevitable by just a little. “I…have a fiancé. I don’t know if I can leave him behind. I’m so sorry.” Becky didn’t even want to look at the director’s face, having convinced herself that the director will be definitely displeased by her answer. But when she very meekly took the slightest glance at him, she realized that he was actually smirking. “You don’t have to leave him behind, Bex. He’s your fiancé, afterall, it’s not like you’re going to split up just because you changed careers.” That made perfect sense to Becky, it wasn’t like she was going to stop seeing him completely. It wasn’t like she was going to betray him like that. It wasn’t like she was going to betray their love, was it? Was it? Could she really give a clear answer to that question? God, Becky really didn’t know, and the unanswered question just felt her more uncomfortable with herself. “Just like I said, Becky, quit WWE and start working for me. You’ll get a part in every movie that I will make from now on. One day, you’ll even be cast as my main character. And even maybe, you can even work in much bigger movies with me.” At that point, what made sense to Becky was what came out of the director’s mouth. She also realized that she had emptied all the glasses in the table subconsciously. She also realized that she was dripping wet, staring at the perfect man, the director, her director… “Accept my offer, Becky and I’ll make you even a bigger star then you already are.” Becky didn’t need to do much thinking at this point, not that thinking came easy to her now, having drunk so many of that wonderful cocktails. Just repeating what the director said was easier, and more preferable. “…a bigger star…yeah..” She said, no, she repeated like a parrot, and it felt so good, letting his words become hers like that. The director seemed very pleased with her too, so she must’ve been doing something right. “What do you say now? How do you feel about my offer?” How did she feel? As Becky felt her body burning with warmth and pleasure, there wasn’t a variety of answers she could give but to state the obvious truth to him. “I feel…hot.” “I know.” He said with that same smug smile. That sexy smile. “I feel…horny.” “I know. Do you want me to take care of that?” Becky nodded with longing and desire, truly wanting the director to fuck her senseless and not hiding that anymore. “How about your fiancé? What would he think?” Becky didn’t know. She only knew that she wanted the director, she needed the director, her body craved his touch right now. She didn’t answer, instead, her hands started to wander all over her body, now flat-out rubbing herself through her clothes. That’s how out of her mind she was with horniness. Watching all of these events unfold made the director even chuckle. That was good. If he was laughing, that meant she had pleased him somehow, if only he would please her like that. “You don’t care about him anymore.” It wasn’t a question. It was a sentence, no, more than a sentence, a fact that had been her new reality. “I don’t care about him anymore.” “You want me so bad.” “I want you so bad.” “But you have to accept my offer if you want to have me, Becky.” She would do anything. “Then I’ll accept. I’ll accept anything you want.” “Are you going to quit WWE and work for me from now on?” Anything. “Yessss….” “Will you be my cute little actress?” Of course. “I’ll be your cute little actress!” “Will you leave your fiancé?” Obviously. She would gladly dump him if it was what it would take for him to lay her down and fuck her like no tomorrow. “Yess…I don’t care about him anymore.” Another chuckle escaped his lips. Another moan escaped her lips. “You know, working for me won’t be easy, do you?” It meant that she would be working for him nonetheless. “I don’t care.” “You will have to do everything I ‘direct’ you to do.” Was that supposed to be a drawback to the job or something? “That’s even better.” “Do you want to be directed by me all the time?” Becky didn’t even know how bigger of a ‘yes’ she could give him, so she just resorted to her words. “I want you to direct me all the time.” “Are you an obedient little girl for your director?” Was there any doubt? “Yes, oh god, I’m an obedient little girl for my director.” “A slutty pet for your director.” “Yes, everything you say.” “While knowing I made those cocktails with special chemicals that would make you my helpless little puppet.” So, that was his secret. He drugged her and messed with her mind to make her feel like this. Becky could not think of something that’s at least as half as hot as this.

“I don’t care, I want to be your helpless little puppet.” “Knowing those cocktails effectively melted your mind and will so I could easily manipulate you like this?” Especially knowing all those things. “I love it.” “You love what?” “You melting my mind and manipulating me like this. Turns me on…so much.” “So, do you accept my offer?” “Yes.” “Yes, what?” Oh, she knew the answer to that! She had heard it from Marie and Michelle! “Yes…director.” The smile on his face upon hearing her say those words was priceless and Becky would always keep that picture in her mind and would love and cherish it forever. “Very good, now get on your knees Becky…and close your eyes.” “Yes, director.”

[jacscorner]

The Shiitake Hills and Drake Lands - D&D Super Mario: Races and Setting Notes

So after the Mario and Luigi posts I did before, I wanted to sort of expand on this loose concept of ‘Super Mario as a D&D Setting’ that I’ve had kicking around while I was suffering from chronic online college. :P

Now, this isn’t a coherent post, this is just a bunch of notes of how I’d convert the general concept of Super Mario games and some races. This would probably need full on World Anvil in order to turn these loose ideas and concepts into a proper campaign setting. And this is under the premise that my would-be players would be outsiders coming into this setting either by plane walking or by travel.

But, hey, if this can be used as a springboard for others to use for their own campaign, then be my guest! I wouldn’t put it here if I so badly wanted to keep this private! But this’ll be a long post, so continue at your own risk.

The Shiitake Hills are the stand in for the mushroom kingdom. These long rows of Hills are home to various farm lands and small villages. There’s very few cities. Mushrooms are mostly cultivated for the consumption and export-you’d be surprised how many recipes there are for cooked toadstools. But rest assured, mushrooms aren’t the only foodstuff you’ll find, but their cultivation for food and magical components is so common that even the most ignorant of school child or even someone who’s never even seen a mushroom would know how to cultivate enough edible fungus to never miss lunch.

The capital of this kingdom is Toadstool City, a glorious city. It’s not perfect, but magic is practiced in the open-it’s regulated, but not too restrictive and controlling. So long as your not raising the dead or raising a stink, you can practice most forms of magic in relative peace.

The Shiitake Hills were founded originally by Elven Druids, who had left their original home in order to escape prosecution from another clan of Druids. On their sailing across oceans, they’d come across a community of Halflings, whom were under the rule of a tyrannical wizard. The Head of these Elven Druids would take on these Halflings as fellow refugees.

This trip lasted 1000 years, with 800 of them spent with the Halfling survivors. Their culture would meld together, to the point where there was no way of knowing what custom originated from which group, but it mattered not. Both sides had developed a mutual relationship.

When The Shiitake Hills were founded the family of the Head Druid would lead colonization of the land. They would also introduce the various Elven Gods that the Druids worshiped.

Avus, God of Fatherhood, Life, and Light. A father should be a guiding light for the family. To be strong and nurturing. A father who is not in their child’s life is often struck by Avus.

Mater Goddess of Fertility, Birth, and Motherhood. Avus’s wife and the reason he gained the ‘Fatherhood’ title. Preying to her is often done when an Elf is about to give birth.

Natus God of Knowledge, Teaching, and Fire. His legends speak of him being the original cultivator of fire, and gifting his spark of knowledge down to the Elves who worship him and spread it. Knowledge is never to be hoarded, it’s to be spread and shared.

Frater God of Strength, War, and Courage. When thunder booms, it means he’s fighting and he wants his followers to also be prepared for the heat of battle. Never fear death, for only glory waits for those who races into battle! 

Soror Goddess of Sisterhood, Art, and Battle. The sister to Frater, she gives strength to her female followers to follow their dreams and passions, but to always have a knife at the ready to defend what’s yours.

Puer God of Tricksters, Brotherhood, and Nature. He teaches his followers to use nature to their advantage, to use ingenuity and wits to defeat larger foes, but to never use your trickery to back stab your brothers-in-arms.

Avanculus God of Wisdom, Harvest, and Water. Knowledge is knowing the best way to farm with new techniques. Wisdom is understand the old ways still work when they fail.

And the Matriarch of their Pantheon, Astrum, Goddess of the Sun, Moon, and Stars. 

But over the boarder of the hills is The Drake Lands. The land was originally a beautiful Dwarven Kingdom of glorious mountains. But then, two dragons razed the lands, a Red Dragon and a Green Dragon, who used the mountains as a battle field! Fire and Poisonous gas drove out the Dwarves underneath. The mountains burned and the poison killed almost all other life that didn’t escape. Nobody knows quite who won this fight, but whatever the result was, the two dragons eventually mated and had a child that would make the ruined lands their domain.

This Dragon is known as Oghoid, A Lawful Evil God of Conquest, Battle, and Gold. His descendants would be known as the Royal Clan who would turn these barren lands into a somewhat liveable place.

The Dwarves would’ve raced to the Shiitake Lands as refugees. The Elves and Halflings welcomed the Dwarves. They integrated into society, but their culture is still regularly practiced. Dwarves keep many Gods, but they had no trouble also incorporating the Elf’s-what’s 1 or 8 more to the pile? The Dwarves also brought expert stone cutting and construction. Many constructions are built mostly or even entirely by Dwarven hands.

Boy, that was a lot, but time to get into the Races. And please not that I’ll label them as ‘Good, Neutral, and Evil’ races for the sake of convenience. You can take a Good Race and play them evil and vice versa.

Good Races - The typical Good Guys and regular residents of the Shiitake Hills.

The Humans of the Super Mario series are split into 3 Types for the setting: Normal-Types, Mario-Types, and Princess-Types.

Normal-Types are the New Donk City citizens we see in Super Mario Odyssey. These are Humans, no doubt having come from various traders from outside of the kingdom and might’ve stayed and become full citizens.

Mario-Types are Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi-oddly proportioned humanoids. For this setting, they’re Dwarves-yes, even Waluigi. He’s just an oddly tall Dwarf. It happens. Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are plumbers and have no trouble going underground and fixing things. 

And finally, Princess-Types. Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline-oddly tall, and still have odd proportions, but look less like Mickey Mouse and more like Jessica Rabbit. They’re represented by Elves. Elves are usually in the upper class of Shiitake society.

Yes, they could all just be variant humans of some kind, but shush. :P This is suppose to be a big mass of races living on one continent and want to mix them all together.

Toads, if you couldn’t guess, are represented as Halflings. Why? Well, not only are they short, but what do we usually see Toads doing? We see them mostly in domestic roles, with only a few outliers. Halflings are mostly homely folk who want to be left in their homes and just enjoy their quaint lives.

Neutral Race - Not inherently Good Nor Bad, Just Folk

Yoshis in this setting will be played by Lizardfolk. I know that this is a pretty big stretch-Yoshis are cute and colorful and Lizardfolk are written as cold, calculating ‘survival of the fittest’ types. But I take the official text of WoTC as more like suggestions.

Evil Race - Typical Bad Guys and residents of The Drake Lands

So naturally, this sections will have Koopas, but how do we divide them? Well, I think there are 2 Types of Koopas. Regular Koopas and Koopa Rexes.

I percieve ‘Koopa Rex’ as essentially Bowser, his son, and the Koopalings-and maybe Boom-Boom and Pom-Pom, depending on how you see it. They would be Dragonborn.

Regular Koopas are essentially the rest. Koopa Troopas, Hammer Bros, Magikoopas, so on and so forth. They’re Tortles.

Okay, this is where I start to REALLY stretch the limits of what can be what...

Goombas will be classified as Kobolds. Why Kobolds? Well, honestly, I guess no real reason, but I think it makes sense for Bowser’s army to have the ‘Minion Races’ in the ranks.

Speaking of , Shy Guys are Kenkus in this setting.

And Boos, Goblins. Okay, this one, a bit of a stretch, but what do Boos do? They sneak up on you, right? Well, Goblins can use that tactic too!

Well, yeah, they could just be Ghosts. But, like, I hate using Ghosts in D&D. They’re too much of a pain in the ass to deal with. And, if you can’t tell, this isn’t meant to be a 1-to-1 thing. 

And finally, the Bob-Ombs are Warforged-possibly one that you could give the ability to ‘selfdestruct’ upon defeat or something.

And that’s about the end of my notes. This took, like, two hours to write but I wanted to put this all down somewhere and here it is. Nothing here is final and if you wanna use any of it for any reason, go right ahead~

[ruoyeming]

My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect. 

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too. 

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice. 

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness. 

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple. 

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways. 

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho?? 

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

[thecrayreport]

The Watch

A quick short story for @wlwocvisibility and their amazing event today! Its central theme is pretty much up in the air, but it's basically the story of an aging witch gaining a new client, or are they something more?

**********

You shouldn't sneak up on people, you know.

What, you didn't think that I didn't see you standing there? You're literally in the middle of my doorway. You should be happy. Normally, those who enter my abode without being invited lose more than just their coat.

Oh, come now, don't be like that. I was only playing with you. About the coat, I mean. That tingle down your spine once you crossed my threshold? Just a little something that my great-grandmother taught me when I was about your age. That's her, right above the mantle. See that glint in her eye, that swagger in her lean? Only Davenport women have that, and it's why our name is known from all four corners of the realm. It's funny, though.  I tried telling her that a portrait would be perfect for her, but she insisted that in order for her magick to remain over this old house, she, too, had to stay intact. Try explaining that to just any taxidermist without the aid of several chests of gold. Cursed, of course, but who asked?

Now, you came here for a reason. I'm assuming you're down on your luck and you're looking for a charm of sorts? Family cow only giving out sour milk?

No? Oh yes, you're one of those. "I'm lonely, nobody loves poor, unfortunate, absolutely boring me!" Or, "I already am teeming with immense privilege, but I have no money, spare me precious jewels!" My favorite is when you can't ask for a glass of water without rehearsing in your mind the statement, yet come begging for a kingdom of your own to rule. Listen, bud, I've heard it all, and I'm not interested in any of it. My conjuring days are over, and so are my hours. The sign says "closed" for a reason. Come back another day and bring more than just some dingy scarf next time, okay?

… You're not moving. Why aren't you moving? You know I can hex your feet, right?

What do you mean, you're here for a story? Have you gone mad? Do you have any idea what I do here? I am Mary-beth Davenport, sixth generation witch from my mother's coven. I am a certified necromancer, herbalist, conjurer, medium, and I hold a doctorate in Social Work and Psychology. What? Sometimes I do family services. You have to in this career. You wouldn't believe the things that I witness because people go online to solve their issues instead of going to a professional. Why, just the other day, someone came in complaining about migraines and intense back pain, when lo, they were in the beginning stages of turning into a gargoyle! Thankfully, I was able to give then an oatmeal bath before the scales started setting in. Once those start to appear, they set like… well, stone.

Ugh, you've made me crack puns! Now I've lost my train of thought. No matter. You obviously aren't going away by your own freewill, and you made me burn my tea, so I'll just turn you into a fly to make it even.

Wait, what's that in your hand? Is that…

A watch. You brought me a watch, and not even a nice one, too. Look, it has some rust around the metal, and the glass looks cracked. And is that… algae? Did you swim in a lake before you came here? It would explain your clothes. Only seamaiden would dare to wear green. Still, your trinket feels… off. Let me see that.

Hmm. Yes, just like I suspected. Whomever once owned this had a strong spirit. Carefree, too, by the smell of the sea, even if they are a bit clumsy, hence the cracks. Too bad they're dead; otherwise, I might be interested in meeting them.

Eh, what's that? They're not dead? That can't be, I clearly sense their hold on this realm no longer on this item. See the hands? They stay frozen, transfixed in time, as the reason of its purpose doesn't exist anymore. If you wish for me to wind it up again, you'd have to talk to a normal watchmaker for that. That necromancy I spoke about earlier? I don't say it  because it makes people leave me alone at family reunions. I once rewound a widower's loved one's watch and was surprised when his husband wasn't too thrilled to be woken up from his eternal rest. That required my psychology degree, for certain.

'Tis a shame, though. I remember someone who used to wear a watch like this, very similar make and model. They kept complaining about its ticking. Imagine that, buying a watch and hating that it ticks! Ah, well, they wanted it to be quieter, so I gave them wax for their ears to ignore the sound. You'd think it'd stop there, but no. They came in the very next day and said that the strap made their wrist itch. Simple fix, right? Applied a poultice and sent them on their way. But then they came back again. Something about the color or whatever. Finally, I had had enough. I told them that if they didn't want the watch, I would gladly take it off their hands for free. It was a nice watch, like I said. Momma Davenport would love it around her arm. But, no. They wanted it, but finally confided in me and told me that they wanted a changing potion. Steep price for such a rare and strenuous tonic, but I obliged. Haven't seen them since.

Can I be honest with you, friend? I know that I have strict rules about fraternization of any kind with my clients, and what have you, but… it gets quiet here, in this old, drabby cottage. I don't get many visitors outside of customers. Nobody ever sits down and shares a cup of tea with me. Being a witch is a pretty lonely business. Comes with the carpet. But… nobody prepares you for how lonely it gets. Sometimes, weeks will go by before you hear someone knock on your door. After a while, you start wondering if that's all it's going to be. Yourself, and your store.

Oh, thank you, you're so sweet. No, I don't need any condolences. I chose this path to honor my ancestors, and for the health benefits. It's my choice. Besides, I did get one visitor. Watch Friend? They stayed the longest, always sitting in the same chair you're sitting in and sharing a nice, warm cup of tea. Fruity Apple, I think it was, no sugar. They liked the tartness. Our discussions were always wondrous and strange. I remember it like it was yesterday. "How long is a snake's tongue?" "If a snake grows appendages, will it walk like a lizard or a bird?" "Do snakes hate tummy rubs like a person hates their feet getting tickled?" That last one was such a thinker, and I will admit, I looked forward to their answers with bated breath. Their wild mind, able to string together the most incoherent theories, was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I even gave them a spare key, in case they wanted to come visit whenever they liked after hours. They never did, but I'm still waiting, just in case.

Oh! Look at the time. Sorry for my rambling, but I do believe that you have to leave now. Right now. You might have already picked this up, but my home has special abilities, one of which is its ability to travel wherever it's needed. A nifty trick for my business, you see. It helps bring access to those that aren't normally able to get it.

By the way… might I ask how you got here? Not saying that you can't get here on your own, obviously, but I placed a cloaking spell over my home. Privacy reasons, of course. The recipe's older than Mama, perhaps even older than that, so there's no possible way that you could have simply walked in the way that you did.

What? You knew where I was? No, that's impossible. The only people who know my location at any time is someone with access go the house. That would be myself, Mama, and…

…

It's you, isn't it? My friend? My, my, how you've grown! You've gotten mighty old, just like me. Your eyes are just as bright as I remembered, and you're still complaining about that watch of yours. I'm guessing that's yours? Figures, you always were one for wasting time. Eh, get it? Because it's broken, but instead of throwing it away, you keep it, while it wastes away! Okay, that doesn't sound as funny once you explain it. Now, look what you've done. You've ruined the mood.

There is one thing, friend, that I'd like to ask, if you permit me? Why did you leave? I was a girl when we met, no taller than this fireplace. You could've stayed with me, kept me company. Instead, you ran off, and never came back. I hated you for a while because of it. You left me alone. I was afraid, terribly so, that I would never see you again. Pray tell, what mighty wrong did I commit against you for you to vex me so?

Nothing? No, no, there has to be something. Anything?

… you… you were afraid… for me? Well, what on earth for?

The changing potion?

Ahh. Now, it all makes sense. You were afraid that I would no longer like you the way that you are, so you wished to change yourself so that I would.

You blundering fool.

Listen, friend, and listen close. I have always cared for you. Ever since you first came into my home, I was enamored by your energy. It's impossible to ignore. You are, honestly, the best person that I've ever met. Second to Mama, of course. You didn't have to change anything about yourself for me to like you. I already did, and always will. You are my greatest friend and much more, and that will never change.

Now, come. The fire is warm, the tea is hot, and I finally got cable after two hundred years of waiting on customer service. If we're lucky, we might get a chance to watch something good.

But first, do you have the time?

[letsdianelindposts-blog]

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[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 11 –  I’m Korma for you, imperialistic dogs

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it.  Are they hiding something?????

Chapter 11 – I’m Korma for you, imperialistic dogs

Okay despite my grumblings on the lack of shit that happened last chapter.  This chapter comes in HOT!  And by HOT, I mean RACIST!

Basically everybody is taking a leisurely walk in the garden.  Ivy asks the military bros about, “how brave they are to fight the ~primitives~ in India.”

HAHA OKAY! LET’S JUST KEEP TRUCKING!

Maccon says it’s just minor pacification at this point, thus implying that he’s done the same sort of business which is super good and great.  

Oh but here’s a big old sticking point for me, one of the military bros says the food in India is terrible.  I will preface this by saying I have only probably had ~Americanized~ Indian food from restaurants or used generic recipe websites.  So we can have a discussion on whether I have had ~authentic~ Indian food and if ~authentic~ food is even a thing.

BUT INDIAN FOOD IS ONE OF THE MOST WELL-RESPECTED CUISINES IN THE WORLD, AND BRITISH PEOPLE, RIGHTLY LOVE IT!  WHAT I HAVE HAD HAS BEEN UTTERLY INCREDIBLE AND I WHAT LITTLE I KNOW ABOUT IT MAKES IT IMPRESSIVE AND WONDERFUL AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!

THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!  I don’t delete comments for much but if anybody comments on this chapter with even, “Indian food is just okay” COMMENT DELETED!

In this story’s defense, perhaps they think the food is bad because the Indian individuals preparing food for the exploitative brutes just took a dump on a plate and put a leaf on top.

Okay so while I fantasized about rubbing vindaloo directly into the eyes of these dipshit characters I continued…Alexia gets snippy with these military bros…but not over any of the racist horseshit, she tries to start shit over them describing Egyptian and Indian weather as hot. And maybe the author is trying to take pot-shots at these fuckers, but like why is she making snippy comments about how they describe the FUCKING weather instead of standing up for Indian people? Also Ivy was the one who started by calling them ~primitives~ but she’s not concerned with Ivy at all.  Also don’t @ me with whore shit like, “Well Ivy is supposed to be dumb” dumb people aren’t automatically racist fuck off.

We move on to find out that the Kingair pack STOLE ARTIFACTS including ACTUAL FUCKING MUMMIES from Egypt when they passed through.  THANKFULLY there is a blip of sanity when Maccon says that’s illegal.

Yet it gets SO MUCH WORSE when Alexia proposes a good old fashioned

MUMMY UNWRAPPING PARTY!

Which everybody gets super excited about.  Those by the way were REAL THINGS in Victorian England. JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KNOW!

Maccon and Alexia go aside a moment where Alexia says the humanization is obviously coming from the artifacts they brought back and that Maccon should have them confiscated since they are illegally gained.  They go back and forth about what to DO with them once they’re confiscated, and both agree that destroying them would be a bad idea…but they don’t bring up the fact you could I DON’T KNOW just return them to the country of origin? HAHA okay.

They head back to the castle and LeFoux, in proper dramatic fashion, is racing toward them saying some cliffhanger shit like, “10 dramatic turns this book could take but won’t! #7 will shock you!”  But before she’s able post some hilarious reaction memes she gets SHOT in the back! DUN DUN DUN!

Then they’re getting shot at and hiding behind the umbrella cause THAT’S FOOL-PROOF but eventually are able to get everybody inside the castle.

And here they just forget anything interesting was going to happen.

Nobody seems concerned with combing the castle to find the gunman in one of these towers.  I have done a few active shooter drills at my place of work, and you know what’s a big part of that?  If the shooter isn’t found just literally forget about them.  What could be the harm?  

Instead they fuss over LeFoux with Alexia wondering, “Was she really shot? Is she faking? Is she behind all of this?” And it’s like YOU LEGIT JUST WATCHED HER GET SHOT AND WHILE SHE WAS ON THE GROUND MORE BULLETS WERE WHIZZING BY YOU! EVEN IF SHE IS, IT SEEMS LIKELY THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE INVOLVED! By the way when I say fussed over there is no description of them bandaging any wounds or anything.  They don’t state outright here but in next chapter they talk about how it’s all tranquilizer bullets. It’d be nice if they mentioned it...you know this chapter.  It honestly felt like they had just propped a woman bleeding out in a chair and talked about how she’s probably behind her own impending death.

This would have been a great moment dramatic moment for them to expose LeFoux’s neck for Maccon to see the Hypocras tattoo. Imagine Maccon losing his shit that they let a Hypocras Crony in their mist, and when he finds out Alexia had seen the tattoo before, gets even loonier.  Alexia is ashamed that the intimacy she shared with LeFoux was perhaps cheating mixed with the shame of same-sex attraction, and kept her around in hopes that she could learn something more about her deceased father from her but instead just endangered everyone.

WASTED OPPORTUNITY!

Alexia then sneaks off to chat with Sidheag. When Alexia first met Sidheag she made a mental note of instantly liking her. This conversation starts with Alexia mentally stating that she’s ~decided to hate her.~ BITCH OVER WHAT? You’re being treated well in this castle, and she’s been polite despite you insulting her castle at every fucking turn.  Alexia just hasn’t been hitting that self-misogyny quota!

Let’s start with the good part of this conversation.  Alexia asks Sidheag about how she feels about what her great granddad did to the clan.  Sidheag says she was 16 and off at school when it happened. (Though at one point Alexia says that Sidheag is not holding a tea cup right and thus implies she never went to finishing school at all…and it’s like…are you trying to throw a seed of doubt that she’s lying about everything? I mean that’s cool but like I think it’s kinda a big jump from ~holds tea cup in different way.~)

Anyway while Sidheag agrees with his politics, she thinks he could have handled it better. She suggests he should have killed/kicked out more of the top members involved in the attempted murder instead of just skipping town entirely.  I was surprised to see the author give this situation more depth than just, “MACCON IS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING CAUSE HE IS BEST MAN!” So that’s the good part.

It seems odd that Maccon only punished 1 person despite it being a clan-wide problem. When Sidheag got back from school he put her and her boyfriend (whom was not part of the clan) in charge and everything just went peachy after that. REALLY? Seems to me the bitter leftovers from that dispute would really fucking resent a teenage human grandchild of the big bad ex-leader who hadn’t been spending much time there and her no-name boyfriend showing up to run things.  If they were going to kill a queen, it doesn’t seem below them to murder the two of them, especially with nobody there to protect them.

BUT THE FUCK DO I KNOW?

Most of the conversation is more of the “I WANT GRANDADDY TO TURN ME INTO A WEREWOLF!” Which…we had that conversation before, but at least Alexia decides she wants to support her in this.  Maccon is cranky when brought up but understands.  Their room is ransacked, but her bag is safe.  Alexia thinks that what LeFoux wanted to tell her probably involved the Aethongrapher, but she decides NOT to check it out cause ??????????? Maccon says that Tunstell brought him a special gun and they get ready for dinner.  The chapter ends with Alexia making the super clever deduction that Maccon has had the ulterior motive of trying to ~fix~ his old pack.  

And wow holy shit there Alexia

Sooooooo smart!  This is something that really needed to be pointed out too! Greaaaaaaaaaat.

This is especially infuriating due to how it’s written Full quote:

“…You must agree I have a point.”

He turned to frown up at her.  “I hate it when you come over all correct.”

Alexia trotted down the staircase until they were nose to nose. She had to stand one step up from him for it to be so. She kissed him softly. “I know.  But I am so very good at it.”

She’s praised for the deduction that didn’t even need to be stated, smugs up the place, and the fucking line, “Come over all correct.”  MAYBE IT’S JUST ME BUT THESE SAD ATTEMPTS OF TRYING TO SOUND PERIOD APPROPRIATE MAKE ME WANT TO YARF!

Also let me point out that Maccon has only started drama, gotten into a fist-fight, and try to or have sex with his wife the entire time he’s been there. Alexia has actually done more than he has for the clan and she hasn’t even been trying.

OH YEAH AND WE JUST GONNA FORGET SOMEONE GOT SHOT AND THE SHOOTER IS HANGING OUT IN THE CASTLE WITH YOU ALL RIGHT NOW? OKAY SURE?

Say something nice Faps:

At least something fucking happened this chapter.

I do genuinely like how Sidheag disagrees with how her great grandfather did things and she’s not demonized for it…at least not yet. I will dunk myself in boiling oil if it’s revealed that SIDHEAG IS BIG BAD CAUSE OF NOT HOLDING A TEA CUP RIGHT.

Sidheag is cool, can we not pick on her ever again?

Super looking forward to do aggressive racism of the mummy unwrapping party y’all!

[andysnorwayaffairs]

9.8.19

TW: mention of sexual violence/abuse/assault + violence

TLDR; ppl who do awful, violent, harmful things should not be excused for their actions. they should be held accountable. HOWEVER, i (alongside the view of prison abolitionists) don’t believe that prison nor police are the answer.

Visiting the police station was a really odd experience for me. I felt extremely guarded and distraught, knowing what power the police have in the U.S. I am aware that the police presence in Norway is much different and much less violent, but I couldn’t shake off that odd feeling. From my experience in my studies this past year and uncovering what police and prison are (perpetrators of violence and oppression), I still see these things as embedded in systems of power, no matter where they are. Nothing is ever neutral. Even if police ARE more progressive in Norway, they still have the ability to abuse power, and the system easily allows police to do so. Even if prison is exponentially better in Norway, I still don’t believe it’s right to lock anyone away. Yes, even if they’ve enacted horrific violence and pain. As a believer in prison abolition, I always think there is another way to treat and value human life, and there ESPECIALLY should be better ways to cultivate healing (for EVERYONE involved) than incarceration. How does incarceration help anyone? An example being, the police attorney we talked to told us about how these folks who had murdered others some time ago are now out walking. Those who are affected by the violence are still probably hurting, and while you can claim “justice” has been served, now there are folks out and about who have literally killed, and have had years taken away from them (that doesn’t sound like a recipe for success...). And as long as there is a system that allows for the locking away and taking away of freedom and the devaluing of human life, black and brown people will always be targeted more than anyone else. How can that ever be justified?

***TW: sexual violence/ assault. Even arguing that we must lock away those who enact violence, the worst of the worst in society, ie murderers and ppl who enact sexual violence and such, allowing prison for anyone still perpetrates the systems of oppression that target those who are less privileged. Always. i.e. - justice is never really “served” anyways. Think about all the cishet white men who are released within a few months after sexual assault. Is that justice? I understand and hear how unfair it is for them to only serve so little after doing so much harm, but in those instances it is the patriarchy and white supremacy that is allowing these men to be free. Talking about prison abolition takes longer than one Tumblr post... check out this website founded by folx like Angela Davis and Ruth Wilson Gilmore that has plenty of information and FAQs! http://criticalresistance.org/resources/the-abolitionist-toolkit/

It was so interesting talking to my coffee date on Saturday evening because they expressed similar views on the police and prison that I had. As someone who lives in a comparatively much more peaceful place like Norway (as opposed to where I am from), I wondered what prompted them to see the underlying systems at play, since in the U.S. they are so unfortunately obvious? They told me that the police still target poc more, of course, and that the police are violent at protests. (They mentioned that they are involved in activism here.) That can definitely be a place to see these workings of power more clearly, since protestors are inherently against the state and against the status quo, and the police are protectors of the state and the status quo. The police protect Nazis, even here, my new friend told me. 

For my final project, I intend to compile all of my experiences and what I’ve learned from the queer people I have met here. I’m still uncertain about what kind of format my project will be in. I haven’t taken any pictures of the actual people I have interacted with, and that does feel too personal to do so. I am thinking about putting all of my thoughts down into some more journal entries and perhaps making a separate page with all of those queer experiences specifically. I do believe that I got a very specific view and experience of this place because of my queer positionality and being able to meet and bond with other queer folx because of our shared experiences. I tend to trust queer people more, and with that allow myself to be more open and vulnerable, and perhaps this lets me have such emotionally charged experiences with people. I had met so many wonderful people these past two weeks and feel like I have truly gained friends, even if the experiences were brief. Not to say that the only reason why I had these experiences was because of my queerness or because of other people’s queerness! It is the way I live and walk through the world, however, and I believe does influence how I interact with other people. The nonbinary friend I had met that sparked all of this lent me an “in” into their life, and for that I am so grateful. I had been extended so much kindness from them and their friends. (to prove my point, some of their friends are straight and very lovely people!) For my project, however, I am interested in how queer people move through space here, and how the neoliberal aura of this place affects their queer experience. I will include a detailed log of how this compares to my own experience and to the experiences of some people I know back home. Since I haven’t talked to many folx here, I don’t intend this to be comprehensive at all. I recognize that experiences are personal and do not reflect the entirety of any population, but the excellent thing about personal experiences is that they can give us a glimpse into how a few people’s lives are affected by the structures and norms that we’ve learned about at play in this particular place and time.  

[our-jensen-ackles-love]

Flashes; Chapter Fifteen

Summary: Playboy Jensen Ackles is hurting his television show’s image. Every time he promised to get his act together, it’d last for about a week before pictures emerge of him half-drunk with some broad on his arm. Fed up and desperate, his agent decides their only hope to save some face is to write up a contract with a nobody girl who could use the money while getting to play the role of Jensen’s girlfriend.

It was only for a year and it was only for the photos.  But feelings don’t always follow the rules, do they?

Word Count: 2010 

Warnings: none, this is just straight fluff. 

CATCH UP HERE.  TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. 

Chapter Fifteen

Thanksgiving came and went so quickly, you didn’t want to leave.

Meeting Jensen’s family hadn’t been nearly as terrifying as you thought, but it did make you feel guilty about the circumstances. His mother had been so open and warm towards you, it was not what you had been expecting in the slightest. And the way that woman cooked, you wouldn’t be surprised if you gained ten pounds thanks to her. Although, she had been nice enough to send you home with a couple of Jensen’s favorite home cooked recipes.

Since the drive-in, neither Jensen or yourself had seen Danneel around town. But that didn’t stop the gut feeling that she wouldn’t be done with him anytime soon.

“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Jay asked, unbuckling his seatbelt.

The pet names were something new he had been trying with you. Anytime he called you ‘beautiful’ or even ‘baby’ you felt your heart skip a beat. Literally. You were pretty sure you stopped breathing for a couple seconds.

You glanced over at the window behind him, noticing that Cliff had already arrived at the apartment. “Oh, nothing really. Just missing the warm weather.”

He grinned. “We haven’t even stepped out of the car.”

“There’s snow on the ground Jensen,” you quipped, leaning over the door handle to peer at the ground with a scrunched nose. “Snow is the opposite of working on my tan.”

“Oh, does that mean I could see more of you in that bikini?”

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue at him before haphazardly throwing open your door, filling the car up with the chill of Vancouver. “Not in this weather, you won’t.”

The disappointed pout he gave made you giggle. The snow crunched under you as you took your first step back towards home, following carefully behind Cliff with the suitcases in hand. You made sure to thank him repeatedly for carrying them, knowing fully well that you could have managed on your own, but like always he waved you off.

Once you were inside the much warmer apartment, you shed your coat, throwing it on the back of one of the plush chairs. You made your way over to the little herb garden to make sure that everything was still alive and growing correctly. The spring onions were starting to bud and the others weren’t too far behind. Much to your surprise, nothing had died thanks to the Do-It-Yourself watering system you had put together before the trip.

While it was nice to have been somewhere warm with loads of unlimited sunshine, it was also much nicer to be in a place that was familiar to you.

Jensen came in through the door, brushing some snow out of his hair before closing it behind him. “I just sent Cliff home, but he’ll be back on Monday to pick me up for filming.”

You clicked your tongue at the thought of life getting back to a routine again. One that left you home, alone, more often than you would like. “Oh, right.”

“Hey,” he said softly, coming towards your garden and wrapping his muscular arms around you in a hug; you just lazily slumped into his chest. “What if you came with me to the set this week?”

That was a surprising proposal. “More photo ops, huh?”

“What?” He pulled away enough to hold you at arm’s length and look you dead in the eye. “No. No photos that I know of.”

You raised an eyebrow at him trying to piece together was he was asking you. “So, correct me if I’m wrong, but you want me to come to set.. just because?”

“No, I want you to come because I want you there.”

Continuing to look at him questionably, you asked your next question cautiously. “Why?”

You saw the gears in his head turning while he stared at you, his tongue running along his bottom lip in thought. In those moments, you noticed concerned the look on his face was. Sure, the two of you spent a lot of time together in Dallas, but did that really mean something?

His hands dropped from your arms, but his eyes stayed trained on you. “Do I really need a reason?”

You suddenly felt nervous, like you had to take back your question and fix the impending look of hurt forming on Jensen’s face. “No, no,” you stepped closer to him, giving him an honest smile and wishing those arms could be around you once again. “I was just surprised you suggested it is all.”

His face seemed to relax, but you could still see those gears turning over and over. “You really don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, Ackles. I really want too.”

The next course of action took you completely by surprise, he closed in on you – using his hand to hold your chin in place, he kissed you gently. It was so soft you were almost sure that you had imagined it, but when he released you to say that he was going to take a shower. You knew it was real.

Everything was real.

The rest of the evening, the two of you went through the motions of making dinner, cleaning up and even sharing a bottle of wine while laughing about the past two weeks. He picked on the fact that you snored a little bit in your sleep, to which you pointed out only really happened when you were exhausted. Naturally, that cocky little smirk of his would come around when he thought about certain things that he liked to make you exhausted with.

Glancing at the kitchen clock, you noticed that it was creeping up on midnight. “Jesus, we should probably get to bed.”

“Yeah, I guess we should” he leaned forward and put his empty wine glass on the coffee table. “By the way, I’ve thought of my questions.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?”

He chuckled. “I’ve decided that I’ll ask them at my leisure.”

Giving him an eyeroll, you stood up, grabbing his wine glass and yours to place in the sink. After doing so, you turned back towards where he was sitting on the couch, and crossed your arms. “That’s not how the game is supposed to go.”

“Think of this as our version,” he grinned, standing up to meet you where you stood in the kitchen. Once he was in front on you, he matched your position, crossing his own arms and leaning against the counters across from you.

“Do I get a question before bed then?”

He nodded slowly, still leaving that grin in place. “It’s a big one too.”

You rocked back and forth on your feet, getting more and more impatient by the minute with how long he was dragging this out. “Well then, stop dragging your feet, will you?”

“Will you move into my room?”

It wasn’t a lie that this was a big one. Sure, maybe it wasn’t to the average couple, but nothing about this relationship was normal. Most couples who were living together in a two bedroom apartment used that second bedroom as a gym or an office with a pull out couch. Hell, some even used it as a nursery if it was needed, but for you and Jensen; this was a game changer. But also most couples who lived together had been together for longer than a couple months, well, what the world thought was a couple months.

You couldn’t lie that the last two weeks you had slept better than you had in forever, but was that because of the man you were sharing the bed with or was it because of the things you did with that man in bed?

“Y/N?”

Apparently spacing out wasn’t a promising thing to do with thinking over your answer. The deciding factor of how you replied would rely in his. “Will you actually let me sleep if I do?”

The way his eyes danced over your body was all the answer you needed.

--

Despite feeling like you needed twelve cups of coffee to get up and function at the un-godly hour that Jensen had to be on set, you were oddly excited for this newest perk of being with him. Even pulling through the film location with the crew scattered about and the famous Impala parked off to the side; you felt like you were on a buzz you couldn’t get rid of.

“Y/N!” Came a loud, booming voice as soon as you stepped out of the SUV.

Before you could even turn in the direction that it came from, massive arms wrapped around you in possibly the biggest bear hug you’ve ever gotten. You almost felt like your lungs were being crushed, but just when you thought the end was near, your feet were back on the ground.

Gasping for breath, you offered the lanky man before you a small, only slightly pained, smile. “Good morning to you too, Jared.”

“It’s so good to see you,” his smile seemed to grow wider as Jensen approached the two of you as he rounded the car, his script in hand. “I was starting to think that Jensen was trying to keep you all to himself.”

“What if I was?” He asked his best friend, offering you a cheeky wink.

Jared looked offended at his question. “Dude. We’re basically family. It was bad enough you didn’t even tell us that you had a girlfriend.”

From the tone in Jared’s voice, you would have guessed that Jensen had been cheating on his taller half with you. That thought only was absurd, but the fit of giggles erupted without warning from your throat causing both the boys to look at you like you had just grown an extra appendage.

“Sorry,” you squeaked, trying to suppress them to the best of your ability.

The boys went about catching up briefly on their Thanksgiving break. During the brief conversation, Jensen kept you close to him with an arm around your waist. The looks you were getting from fellow crew members and even Jared himself was starting to make you self-conscious.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Jared stated with a clap of his hands. “Gen wants me to invite you guys over for dinner sometime this week.”

“Gen and the boys are here?” Jensen asked, sounding surprised.

Jared nodded his head enthusiastically while the smile he had been wearing the whole time grew even wider. “She decided to bring the boys and stay through Christmas. And I’m not one to complain about having them around.”

You could tell just from the way he spoke Gen’s name that Jared loved his wife to pieces. For the first time in a while, it made you ache for someone to talk about you that way.

“I think we would love to come over,” you answered for the two of you, knowing that Jensen wouldn’t mind.

Something behind you caught Jared’s attention, to which he held up a single finger in that general direction as if to say ‘hold on a minute.’ “How about Friday night then, say about five? We should be done early that day anyway.”

“Sounds good to me.”

With a small smile and a nod, Jared gave you one last giant hug before heading off into the set, looking for whoever had summoned him. Tilting your head, you looked over to see Jensen running his hand along his jaw, like he was deep in thought about something.

“Everything okay?” You asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he stopped rubbing his jaw and gave you a somewhat embarrassed smirk. “Just one thing.”

You looked at him, not even bothering to ask what could possibly be an issue with you guys going over to best friend’s house for dinner and some actual conversation that didn’t involve one of you getting all hot and bothered. Instead, you just waited for him to tell you.

Now the smirk dropped into something a little bit more sorry looking, “Gen and Dee are best friends.”

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[entirebodyexercise]

10 Little Known Ways to Lose Weight Without Exercise

When a person asks me to recommend the ideal ways to drop weight quick, I always offer a word of care first.

While it's certainly feasible to drop weight at a quick pace, it is very important to tackle it in a lasting fashion, if you're not careful, you'll put it all back on again faster than you took it off, and also then some!

Sleep

Consistent, top quality rest is one of the most undervalued aid to assist you reduce weight without workout, hands down.

It begins with establishing a regular rest schedule, Go to bed at the exact same time every evening as well as awaken at the exact same time every morning.

Your all-natural daily rhythm (recognized as your circadian rhythm) is probably one of the most crucial determinant of the health and wellness of your hormones and also your body's ability to shed weight as well as maintain it off.

If you obtain that out of order, you can kill on your own in the health club and eat green salads and also barbequed chicken breasts all you want, however none of it will assist you shed weight.

Seven to nine hrs every evening is what you're going for. About 7 as well as a half is the magic number for me. Exactly what's yours?

Meditation

Stress will derail a body quickly at all.

If you desire a quick method to shed weight without workout, you have to discover a dependable anxiety management strategy, time and time again, research shows reflection to be among the most effective methods there is.

I want to practice meditation initial thing in the morning. As quickly as I awaken at 5 a.m., I'll take a seat in my chair as well as I'll do around 5 to 10 minutes of mediation and also visualization.

It relaxes my body down, as well as provides me a possibility to imagine just how I want my day to go and also just what I intend to produce in my life.

That's the regimen that benefits me, yet you might choose that a substantially various routine benefit you. Maybe you like to sit cross-legged on the flooring, or perhaps you'll meditate at night instead.

Gratitude Practice

You probably really did not anticipate to see this among my weight reduction ideas, but trust me, it's an excellent one, and also it's straight pertaining to the suggestion I shared above.

After my morning meditation, I rest down to detail what I'm thankful for in my thankfulness journal.

I also revisit its web pages right before bed, this time listing my successes of the day. I can't overstate just exactly how useful this technique is.

When you concentrate on the good in your life, you get more of it. When good ideas are occurring in your life, you really feel happier. When you are better, you make far better choices.

Think about it momentarily: how simple is it to exercise and also eat healthy and balanced when you remain in a poor mood?

Early Morning Activity

Are you a morning person?

You could not realize it, yet having a well established morning regimen could have a big influence on how swiftly you lose weight.

Try getting your day started with a morning walk or a few other kind of physical activity.

It does not need to be a full-on exercise, but just obtaining your body relocating will certainly get your lymph flowing and also all set you for the day in advance. It can even be something as basic as walking your dogs.

Start Your Day with Protein

Also, make it a point to start your early morning with protein.

In order to transform your body into a fat-burning equipment, you need to obtain a minimum of 20 grams in the morning. With this, you'll maintain your blood glucose, lower cravings, and maintain full for a longer duration of time.

Furthermore, it doesn't candid cortisol response like heavy carbohydrate consumption would certainly, whereas pancakes and also syrup will cause a sugar crash 2 hours on, an appropriate protein meal will lift your energy up.

Try anything from eggs to a protein shake, just see to it you're getting the protein you need.

Apple Cider Vinegar

Here's the point about apple cider vinegar: it consists of a compound called acetic acid, which has outstanding wellness benefits.

Here's how you make it benefit you: Before you eat, pour 1 or 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar right into a glass of water, as well as consume alcohol that prior to you eat.

This will diminish the insulin spike after you eat, thus restricting what does it cost? of your meal winds up getting kept as fat.

Eliminate Gluten

If you're having problem shedding several of your weight, I assure that if you stop consuming bread, pastas, as well as cereals, you'll lose nearly 5 pounds in a pair days. That's a promise.

These inflammatory, allergenic foods damage your body, and lead to fast weight gain.

If you do need a starchy fix, choose recipes prepared with almond flour rather. Attempt gluten-free pastas like rice or quinoa or lentil pastas, they're all better options.

Reduce Your Cardio Workouts

As you might know from checking out a few of my work, I'm no fan of lasting cardio.

Too much cardio squashes your body, and is just one of the most convenient methods to reduce your thyroid.

As if that's not bad enough, long-duration cardio doesn't develop muscle mass, which implies it has little effect on the lasting caloric melt you should shed those bothersome pounds.

Heal Your Gut

Your digestive tract is a substantial element of your capacity to lose weight.

Studies have revealed that overweight and obese individuals have a various collection of bacteria in their colon than healthy and balanced, lean people.

With this in mind, you ought to intend to boost the top quality of the microorganisms in your digestive tract, whether that's consuming a lot more fermented vegetables like sauerkraut-- I love sauerkraut-- or supplementing with a good-quality probiotic.

Contract Your Muscles

You may not have actually ever heard of this last idea prior to, however offer it a shot: the following time you sit down to consume, try priming your body to receive those nutrients by getting your muscle mass for 30 seconds.

You'll feel heat generating in your body, which indicates your muscular tissues are generating warm as a byproduct. Your breathing will certainly likewise increase.

It might really feel ridiculous, yet you're essentially creating some of the same effects you would certainly experience throughout a workout.

We recognize that the greatest dish of your day should come after your exercise, and that's because working out makes your muscle mass cells open up like a blossom to the sun.

This is specifically when you want to provide the nutrients they need.

Eating at any kind of other time of the day boosts the probability that the nutrients you're taking in will certainly be stored elsewhere in your body, like in your fat cells.

[ncts-nightnight]

2018-04

180401 꼭 의미있는 시간을 보내지 않아도 돼. 하루를 재밌게 보내지 않아도 돼. 뭘 해야할까- ��트레스 받지 말고, 그냥 니가 하고 싶은걸 해. 하고싶은게 없다고? 그러면 가만히 쉬는 거. 그게 지금 니가 하고싶은거야. It's okay to not to spend your time meaningfully, it's okay to not a spend a day interestingly. "What should I do?" Don't be stressed and just do what you want. You don't have anything you want to do? Then just rest, that's what you want to do now. 180402 말을 할수있는 건 우리 사람들만의 특권이야. 좋아해, 사랑해 이렇게 간단한 단어로 감정을 전할 수 있는건 우리 사람들 뿐이야. 그러니까 그런 특별함을 마음껏 누리자. 좋아해, 사랑해. Being able to talk is a privilege that only humans have. "I like you, I love you", only us humans can convey our emotions through these simple phrases. Hence, let's enjoy this specialness to our hearts' content. I like you, I love you. 180403 가끔은 너에게 거짓말을 해야만 할 때도 있어. 아니, 거짓말이 필요할 때도 있어. 괜찮아, 잘 돼가고 있어, 충분해, 부족하지 않아. 계속 얘기해줘. 진심으로 믿는다면, 곧 현실이 될거야. Occasionally, there are times when I have to lie to you. No, there are times when lies are necessary. "It's okay, it's going well, it's good enough, it's not lacking." Keep on saying it and if you believe in it sincerely, it'll soon become reality. 180404 어딘가에 갈 때, 목적지로만 쭉 뻗은 길을 따라간다면 길을 잃을 일도 없고, 훨씬 빨리 갈 수 있을거야. 정말 가고 싶은 곳이 있다면, 샛길이 있는지 찾아보지 마. 여지가 있으면 우리는 망설이고, 헤매게 돼. When going somewhere, if you follow the road that only leads to the destination, you won't lose your way and you'll be able to reach much quickly. If there's a place where you really want to go, don't try searching for a side road. If there's leeway, we would hesitate and wander around. 180405 모든일에 처음을 생각해봐. 그땐 걱정이 가득했지만 지금 생각하면 애틋한 설렘만 떠오르지? 다시 뭔가에 도전해 봐. 그럼 마음 부푸는 추억을 더 많이 가질 수 있어. Think about the start of everything. Although you were full of worries at that time, if you think about it now, only fond excitement comes to mind right? Try challenging something new again so that you'll able to have even more heart swelling memories. 180406 누가 너한테 행복해지는 방법을 추천해달라-고 한다면, 넌 분명히 아주 사소한 것들을 추천해줄거야. 그 방법으로 내일 너를 행복하게 만들어줘. If someone asks you to recommend a way to become happier, you'll definitely recommend something very simple. Using that way, make yourself happy tomorrow. 180407 온전히 혼자인 시간이 필요해. 그래야 남들이 좋다고 해서 좋게 느껴지는 것들, 누군가 나한테 어울린다고 해서 내 것이 되어버린 것들, 그런거 말고 진짜 내껄 찾을 수 있어. I need alone time such that I will be able to find what's truly mine instead of the things that I enjoy because others say they are nice and the things that became mine because someone told me that they suit me. 180408 휴대폰 작은 네모 속 세상만 너무 들여다보지 마. 진짜 너의 세상을 둘러봐. 그러기엔 우리가 살고 있는 세상이 너무 넓고 멋지잖아. Don't only look at the world inside the small rectangle of your handphone too much. Have a look at the real world around you. The world that we are living in really wide and amazing. 180409 길가에 꽃 봤어? 지기전에 보라구. 그리고 내일 아침엔 하늘 한번 꼭 봐. 맑을거래. 내가 가진게 아니어도 너랑 나눌 수 있는게 많아서 행복해. Did you see the flower on the roadside? Look at it before it withers. Also, be sure to look at the sky tomorrow. It's going to be clear. Although they don't belong to me, there are a lot that I can share it with you so I'm happy. 180410 어둠이 없었다면 별을 발견할 수 없었겠지. 힘들지 않았다면 친구가 필요하지 않았을거구. 외롭지 않았다면 널 만나지 못했을거야. If there was no darkness, we wouldn't be able to discover stars right? If it wasn't tiring, we wouldn't need friends. If I wasn't lonely, I wouldn't have been able to meet you. 180411 누군가 토닥여주고, 쓰다듬어주고, 조용히 손 잡아주는 것만으로도 우린 아주 많은 힘을 얻어. 그게 누군가 내 옆에 있다는걸 알려주기 때문이야. Just by someone patting our back, our head or holding our hands quietly, we gain a lot of strength. That's because it tells us that there's someone by our side.

180412 맑은 하늘을 보면 마음 놓고 창문을 열게 되는 것처럼, 맑고 밝은 사람이 앞에 있으면 안심하고 마음을 열 수 있어. 매일 이 시간엔 그렇게 마음 활짝! 열고 있는거 맞지?! Just like how if you look at the clear sky, your heart will feel at ease and open up its windows, if you're in front of a clear and bright person, you'll be able to feel at ease and open up your heart. Your heart is wide open at this time every night right? 180413 아이들 대할 때 한명 한명 성격, 개성 다 다른걸 인정해줘야 된대. 그래야 자기만의 능력을 펼칠 수 있다는 거야. 아이들 뿐 만이 아니야 지금 우리도 있는 그대로 인정받아야 꿈을 펼칠 수 있는데. It is said that when dealing with kids, we have to acknowledge that each and everyone of them have different characters and personalities. This way, their own abilities can unfold. Not just kids but we ourselves have to be acknowledged for who we are so that our dreams can unfold. 180414 흰 종이에 커다란 원을 그리고 그걸 스물네칸으로 나눠. 그리고 우린 늘 그 안에 해야할 일들만 가득 해웠었지. 한번쯤은 그 원을 니가 하고 싶은 일로만 가득 채워봐. Draw a huge circle on a piece of white paper and divide it into 24 sections. We always only filled it fully with the things that we have to do right? For once, try filling in the circle with only the things that you want to do. 180415 요리를 잘하고 싶을때 꼭 해야할 건, 좋은 재료를 갖는 것도 아니고, 완벽한 레시피를 찾는 것도 아니야. 요리를 많이 해보는거야. 잘 하고 싶은 일이 있다면 지금 한번 더 해보자. When you want to do well in cooking, what you must do is not to have good ingredients or find a perfect recipe but you have to try cooking many times. If there is something you wish to do well in, try doing it once more now. 180416 마음이 부서진 자리엔 조각이 남아. 그래서 내내 거슬리고 아프지만 우린 그걸 버리지 못해. 그 작은 조각이라도 갖고 있어야 그 사람을, 그 때의 추억을 생생하게 떠올릴 수 있기 때문이야. At the place where your heart is shattered, a shard of it remains. It bothers and hurts you all the time but we can't throw that away. Even if it's a small shard, we have to hold on to it so that we can recall that person and those memories vividly. 180417 좋아하는 사람한테 달콤한 말을 듣는 것만으로도 스트레스가 풀린대. ..진짜 그렇대! 오늘 스트레스 많이 받았어? 애기야? Just by hearing something sweet from the person you like, your stress will be released. Really! Did you received a lot of stress today? Baby? 180418 수선화의 꽃말은 자기애, 튤립의 꽃말은 사랑의 고백. 누가 꽃들한테 이렇게 멋진 말들을 하나씩 붙여줬을까? 꽃말처럼 사람한테도 어울리는 단어들을 정해준다면 너는 어떤 키워드를 가질 것 같아? In the language of flowers, daffodil means narcissism and tulip means love confession. Who attached these cool words to each of the flowers? Like the language of flowers, if we were to decide on phrases that match humans, what keyword will you have? 180419 너무 완벽한 사람한텐 다가가기가 힘들잖아. 가끔 우린 누군가의 약한 부분에 마음을 뺏겨. 그러니까 오늘 누군가에게 약한 모습 보였어도 괜찮아. 그사람이랑 약간 더 가까워질 수도 있어. It's hard to approach a person who's too perfect right? Sometimes we are captivated by someone else's weakness. So today, it's okay to show others our weak side too. You may even become closer to that person. 180420 누군가에게 당연한 사람이 되는 건, 참 슬픈 일이야. 내 호의, 배려 다 아무것도 아닌게 되거든. 서로에게 당연한 사람이 되지 않으려면 꼭 해야하는 말이 있어. 고마워. It's a really sad thing to become a person who's taken for granted by someone else, because my kindness and consideration all becomes nothing. There's something that you need to say so that you won't take each other for granted — thank you. 180421 너무 행복할 땐, 나한테 빛이 쏟아지는 것 같아. 근데 그럴 때 내 곁에 있는 사람은 내 그림자에 가리기도 해. 정말 행복할 때 나 때문에 마음에 그늘이 지는 사람이 없는지 주위를 한번 둘러보자. When I'm extremely happy, it feels like light is shining at me. However at such times, the person beside me may be covered by my shadow. When we feel very happy, have a look around us to see if there are people who feel gloomy because of us. 180422 몸을 튼튼하게 하려고 영양제를 챙겨먹잖아, 그럼 감기쯤은 쉽게 이겨내니까. 그런 것처럼 마음엔 부지런히 행복한 기억을 많이 챙겨두면 어떨까? 마음도 튼튼하게, 가벼운 아픔은 쉽게 이겨낼 수 있게 말야. In order to strengthen your body, you have to take supplements so that when you have a cold, you can easily overcome it. How about diligently setting aside lots happy memories in your heart? Your heart will be strong and you will be able to easily overcome pain. 180423 영화관에서 막 영화가 시작될 때 그 기분 있잖아. 어떤 얘기가 펼쳐질까? 얼마나 재밌을까? 기대되고 설레는 기분. 월요일엔 네가 늘 그런 기분이면 좋겠다. 이번주엔 어떤 일이 펼쳐질까? That feeling when you're inside the cinema theater before the movie starts. What kind of story will unfold? How interesting will it be? That feeling of anticipation and excitement. I hope that you'll always feel like that on Mondays. This week, what are the things that will happen? 180424 아무 용건 없이 연락하는 거, 어색하지만 받는 입장에선 그런 연락이 더 반가울거야. 다른 거 말고 오직 그 사람이 궁금했단 거니까. ....그래서 말인데, 뭐해? 그냥 니 생각이 나서. Although it's awkward to contact someone without a reason, from the stance of the one receiving it, it's even more pleasant. Not because of other reasons but solely because that person was curious about you. So, what are you doing? I just... thought of you~ 180425 행복에도 취향이 있는 것 같지 않아? 사람들마다 행복을 느끼는 순간도, 지점도 다르잖아. 그러니까 다른 사람의 행복을 부러워 할 필요가 없어. Doesn't it seems like there also preference in happiness? People feel the happiness at different moments and points. Therefore, there's no need to be jealous of other people's happiness 180426 양쪽에서 팽팽히 잡아당겨서 묶은 매듭은 풀기 힘들어. 그런데 모든 인연은 매듭이랑 비슷해. 누군가랑 관계가 풀어져버렸다면, 그건 한쪽이 충분히 잡아당기지 않은거야. It's hard to untie a knot that is tightly tugged from both sides. But all relationships are similar to knots. If your relationship with someone else came loose, it is not sufficient for one side to pull it. 180427 뭐든 주위 사람들이 말하는 기준에 맞추지 마. 너의 기준은 니가 세워야 해. 그리고 니가 그걸 만족시키지 못하더라도 실망하고 나무랄 수 있는 사람은 너 뿐이야. Don't try to match the standards that all the people around you talk about. You should set your own standards and even if you can't fulfil those standards, you're the only person who can feel disappointed and blame yourself. 180428 어떤 사람은 오랜 시간이 지난 후에야 이해가 되기도 해. 그 사람의 상황을 뒤늦게 공감하고, 미안한 마음을 갖기도 해. 혹시 지금 주위에도 그런 사람이 있진 않을까? 나중에 날 후회하게 만들 사람. Some people can only be understood after a long time. You're late with empathising with that person's circumstances and you feel sorry. Perhaps is there such a person around you right now? A person who will make you feel regretful next time. 180429 누군가의 선행을 보면 마음이 움직여, 따라하게 돼. 그런것처럼 내 작은 선행도 큰 퍼짐의 시작이 될 수 있어. 그러니까 아주 작은 일이라도 충분히 의미가 있어. When looking at someone else's good deeds, our hearts may be moved and we follow along. Likewise, my small good deeds can become the start of a huge diffusion. Even little things can be full of meanings. 180430 일단 새싹이 나와야 나무도 되고 꽃도 되는데. 너무 단단한 땅에선 새싹이 나오기 힘들어. 우리 마음도 그렇거든. 그러니까 내 마음이 너무 고집으로 단단한 건 아닌지 한번 들여다 보자. The sprout has to first come out before it can become a tree or even a flower. It's hard for a sprout to come out from a ground that's too hard. It's likewise for our hearts. Hence, we should take a look if our hearts are too stubbornly hard.

korean transcript: @valentinesboy97 korean-english translation: @fluffywhitie, @jaehyunbom__